1EDITOR'S NOTE: This may help explain the size of the average American family: 1.6 children. W.M.

2EDITOR'S NOTE: This led to swallowing air which made gas bubbles; gas bubbles caused colic. W. M.

3EDITOR'S NOTE: This manuscript was found in a cellar of a house in a Midwestern city; it is presented here for its historical interest, but chiefly for your amusement.

Mr. Wilma Masters (the former Andrew Jones) was found in the same cellar. Our hunting party had taken Lindsay McPherson some time before, and he had directed us promptly to the cellar. Men are like that.

As is the custom, the men were stripped, carefully searched, and sent to the premarital barracks to wait for some girl's proposal. Our readers will be happy to learn that they are both back in service.

Never underestimate the power of a woman.

—WILMA MASTERS