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Chapter 9

Kasiria didn't have time to try and figure out what was going on. There was lots of screaming in Kartik, which no doubt told anyone not as hung over as they were that her unit was fighting amongst themselves. To make matters worse her own hangover was pounding—which hardly seemed fair since she'd had less than two beers—and she'd had no sleep at all.

Jabone was the Katabull. He was the Katabull she was the Katabull and she was sure that they were in the middle of making their own amazing love story. That was all she wanted to think about, but now she had to deal with all this crap because she was the sergeant and they were her unit, and . . . I just need a good, hot bath, a bath not a shower, and then to sleep on a bed not a cot for about two days and then I'd be fine. But she wasn't as tired as she should have been and she realized that it had to have something to do with being the Katabull last night. And this morning, we were out all night just walking and talking, occasionally kissing. These idiots, I might have actually gotten at least some sleep but now . . . Where is Ufalla? Is she going to come back at all? If she is will she be there for roll call?

Jabone had stopped yelling and now he just seemed to be talking to Jestia.

Kasiria looked at Tarius and decided she needed to at least take some action towards salvaging her unit so she just started giving orders. "Get to the showers. Get cleaned up and dressed and ready for when the horn blows."

"Are you mad at me, too?" Tarius asked with no understanding whatsoever. He was obviously much more upset by his sister's anger than Kasiria would have thought he would be.

"No, I just . . . " she smiled. "I just need someone to be doing something to make us look some less than the worst unit in the garrison."

Tarius nodded went in got his clothes and gear and headed for the showers. Kasiria took a deep breath hoped that Jestia was dressed and walked on inside. She was dressed—barely—and sitting on Kasiria's cot just sobbing into her hands. Well so much for their "sleep with whoever you want and it doesn't mean a thing" philosophy. Obviously their coupling has caused a huge rift between the siblings and Jestia if possible looks more miserable than Ufalla did . . . Of course what woman wouldn't be crying if she woke up and realized she'd slept with Tarius. Kasiria made a face.

Jabone was just patting Jestia on the back talking to her in a soothing whisper and, well Kasiria didn't like him touching the half-dressed woman who would obviously bed anything since she'd even slept with Tarius.

"I'm not going to pretend to know what's going on here, but I need everyone to get cleaned up and in shape so that we're ready even if no one else in this garrison is when that horn blows," Kasiria said. Jabone nodded, patted Jestia on the back and said something to her Kartik. Jestia nodded and got up grabbed her clothes and gear and headed towards the shower.
"I'll go find Ufalla," Jabone promised, and then he headed for the door.

"Thanks."

He started to just walk out then turned around and came back, hugged her and kissed her on the lips, and her knees felt weak again. "I'm sorry for all this," he said.

"Don't be. If you hadn't had to come looking for me none of this would have happened, so if it's either of our faults it's mine."

"No one made those two idiots do what they did." He let her go and left and she found that she immediately missed him. I've turned into one of those women. The ones that need a man to feel complete, I'm disgusted with myself, but in my defense he's not just any man, he's Jabone.

* * *

Jabone found Ufalla standing and cussing a blue streak while chunking rocks at the garrison walls as if willing one of the tiny rocks to bring the heavy stone wall crumbling down.

"Are you all right?" Jabone asked, careful not to get within reach of her because he wasn't lying to Kasiria. Ufalla had a really bad temper and when she was in a mood she'd just as soon beat you as look at you.

"No, and I doubt I ever will be again. I just need to get over it, right?" she said. and kept chunking rocks not looking at him. "It never would have been me any way so it doesn't matterp, right?"

"Ufalla they were just both drunk. Tarius would never do anything to purposefully hurt you."

Ufalla spun on him and he was surprised to see tear tracks had carved their way into the dirt on her face that no doubt was a consequence of sleeping on the floor and fighting with her brother. She also had a fat lip. Ufalla just didn't cry, so he felt his own chest grow heavy with thoughts of his friend's pain. "Yes he would, Jabone. He hates me, he always has and he always will. He blames me because he's small and looks more like them," she flipped her arm around the compound, "than us, as if it is somehow my fault. I have always loved him and he has always hated me and he found the thing that would hurt me the most and that's what he did just for spite."

"None of that's true, Ufalla. He resents you, yes, but he also loves you. I really don't think he knew . . . "

"Will you also make excuses for her, Jabone? You know damn good and well that she knows how I feel because she uses the knowledge of it to get me to do anything she wants me to do, like a puppet."

Jabone sighed. "I don't know what she thought she was doing, Ufalla, or even if she was thinking at all. They were both very drunk. What I do know is that she's crying like a baby right now, and mumbling incoherent things that make no sense."

"Because she's probably still drunk or worse still she knows no matter how large her crime we'll all forgive her if she cries. Well I won't. She could have any man she wanted and she slept with my own brother. Don't try to talk me out of my rage, Jabone. I'm going home. Or I'm going to the Kartik-held territory," Ufalla said. "But I'm not going to stay around them not either of them."

"Ufalla, why punish yourself? Why punish me because you're mad at them?" Jabone put a hand on each of her shoulders. "If I had been there I never would have let it happen but . . . " He told her all that had happened with Kasiria the night before. "You don't really want to be on your own, Ufalla and I can't go with you for obvious reasons. I need you here, Ufalla. I'm sorry if that sounds selfish, but I need my best friend with me now, and I do know how you feel because I'm in love, too, now and it's scary to care so much for someone."

"So you have found your great love and you will finally know what your mothers have known." Ufalla was obviously happy for him despite her own problems. "I will stay for you my non-blood kin."

"You will find love, too, just not with her, Ufalla. It was never meant to be. You said so yourself."

Ufalla nodded.

"Come we need to get cleaned up and dressed for the roll call." She followed him.

* * *

Kasiria was just stepping out of the bathhouse with Jestia when Ufalla appeared. She saw them and just hung around a tree waiting for them to leave so she could walk in without having to be near Jestia. Oh this is going to be great, Kasiria thought with a sigh.

"She's never going to talk to me again," Jestia said a catch in her voice.

"She has to understand that you just don't want her that way," she said.

Jestia glared at her as if she'd cursed her and said, "You don't understand anything."

* * *

The horn blew and they all lined up. Oddly enough with most of her unit hung over, everyone fighting with everyone else, and she and Jabone having found out what they had about each other the night before it was the first time they actually stood in formation, at attention the way they were supposed to. None of them were talking and she noticed, not without a little pride, that their unit was the only one that was all there when the role started.

As the role ended Derek came out and faced them. "I've just received word this morning that there has been another Amalite raid. This time they have destroyed the entire village of Grey Noke and have left nothing but smoke and ash. We are the closest contingent of men . . . soldiers . . . so we are being sent out to investigate, track the Amalites, and try to find their stronghold. Kasiria, Thomas, Jason your units have been assigned under my command. Master Richard shall serve as my second in command. Lieutenant Heath will tend the garrison in my absence. Obviously many of you aren't in any condition to ride out today, so I suggest you spend the day resting and putting your affairs in order. We will be riding out in the morning."

Kasiria took in a breath. All she'd ever wanted was to do battle and now that the time was at hand all she really wanted to do was to be with Jabone. It didn't matter because now they had to go and fight. When they released them for the morning meal she turned to face her unit and was disheartened to see that she could now see light between them.

Great, now that we are about to go off to do battle and I need them to watch each other's backs they can't stand one another.

Breakfast was altogether too quiet, and while she, Jabone and Ufalla sat at one end of the table, Jestia and Tarius sat on the other but not together. Every time Ufalla remembered they were there she literally growled at them and her brother growled back showing his teeth. Which of course made her growl back showing her teeth. This habit of growling they had was like no sound you ever heard a Jethrik make.

"Ufalla and Tarius aren't Katabull?" she asked Jabone in a whisper right in his ear.

He smiled, apparently knowing exactly why she was asking. "No, but they grew up with me in the Katabull Nation, so they act more like Katabull than Kartiks," he whispered back.

She looked at the oatmeal gruel in her bowl and realized she hadn't actually eaten any of it, just stacked it up and then smeared it back out flat. As she looked around the table only Jabone was actually eating, the rest of them were just too hung over. She pushed her bowl over to Jabone who had just finished his and he looked at her.

"I can't eat," she said. He nodded and happily started to consume her food. He ate like a pig and she thought it was cute so she knew just how smitten she was.

"I look forward to doing battle with the Amalite scum," Ufalla said. "Perhaps when I have killed many of them and their blood stains my armor I will be happy again." She glared down the table at her brother and growled again. He growled back.

"Gods! What a nightmare." Surprisingly it was Jabone who said it. He quit eating and looked down the table at Jestia and Tarius. "If you all continue to fight like this you will get us all killed."

"He has a point," Kasiria said.

Ufalla spit something out in Kartik that although she didn't know what the words were she knew that the meaning was that she should mind her own business, so maybe she was starting to understand them more.

Jabone just confirmed it when he said, "It does concern her. We have to get over this," he said.

Kasiria looked down the table and said to the others. "We all have to get over this," she said. "We all have to get over this today. We don't have time for this crap. We can't bring this into the field with us."

They all just stared daggers at her except Jabone and she doubted they were even considering what she had said.

Thomas and Jason approached their table with caution, Thomas obviously trying to ignore Jabone.

"Kasiria, I am glad you are well."

"What do you want?" Kasiria asked without much charity, and beside her a low, gravely growl echoed from Jabone's throat—which was no doubt why both men seemed on the verge of running.

"I think we must call a truce between your unit and mine," he said, and Kasiria got the impression that it was Jason—who stood at Thomas's shoulder who had instigated this "Truce." Kasiria started to tell him to take his truce and stick it but her eyes fell on her unit. She had just told them that they had to get along for the good of the unit. What sort of a hypocrite would it make her if she wouldn't accept Thomas's apology and try to work with him for the good of their mission? She swallowed her pride and said, "There must be peace between us if we are to work well together in the field."

"What of Jabone?" Thomas asked carefully.

"What of him?" Kasiria asked, even as Jabone glared at the two men.

"Will you forgive me as well? Or am I still not allowed to look at or talk to any of you without fear of death raining on my head?"

"If the words of your apology are spoken from your heart as well as your mouth then I will forgive you. But if you ever disgrace my woman again, I will split you."

Kasiria blushed scarlet. Gods! Tell me he didn't just say that. By this afternoon everyone in the compound will know and in a fortnight so will my father . . . His woman! His woman? What am I now, a horse that he owns? She smiled then in spite of herself and suddenly the world around her just disappeared. His woman. I'm his woman.

Ufalla got up, smiling at the dumbfounded looks on the two men's faces, and she got right in Thomas's face and said, "See? She's not queer, she just doesn't want you." She walked off then.

Kasiria's sacrifice however was wasted on the Kartiks. When they got back to their barracks to try to get some much-needed sleep, Ufalla had moved her cot all the way over against a wall as far away from the others as she could and was lying down with her back to the rest of the room. And when Tarius had laid down on his cot Jestia took hers and moved it to a point some where between his and Ufalla's so that she wouldn't have to be close to either of them. Jabone without asking took his cot and stuck it right next to Kasiria's and then he lay down. She started to protest, then just threw up her hands and lay down, too. She felt his arms wrap around her and then he drug her against him and kissed her. She kissed him back. Then realizing they were in a room full of people she whispered. "Jabone . . . We can't."

"I'm not," he said with a laugh. "You forget my mother is of your country. I know you don't couple quickly as we do, that you expect to be courted."

"Your idea of courting is a little more physical than is really acceptable here."

Jabone smiled. "Are you that worried then about being acceptable?"

She nestled into his arms. "Only to you." In a few minutes they were both asleep.

* * *

Ufalla just wanted to go to sleep and not think about anything, more because she didn't want to think about what she'd seen than because she was tired and needed sleep. She was sick, sick in body and spirit and heart. She willed herself not to think about it, her brother's naked ugly body lying all over Jestia's perfect one. But of course the more she tried not to think about it the more the image played before her shut eyes.

What's wrong with me? I knew it was all just a fantasy. I knew she'd never want me. So why does it matter if it's my stupid brother or a hundred other men that she's slept with? Because she's not the least bit attracted to Tarius and that being the case she might as well have been sleeping with me. Oh gods! Why doesn't she love me? How can one person feel so much when the other feels nothing? Kasiria's right we have to work together, the way our parent's did. I can't let this thing govern me or we'll likely as not all get killed. But how can I? I don't care what Jabone says. Tarius knew good and well how I felt about her. He did it for spite, only for spite. Everything that came hard for him came easy for me and while I could do things he couldn't do there was nothing that he could do that I couldn't. Until now.

It doesn't matter. None of it matters. I will go and do battle. Bards will write stories and songs about me. Ufalla the woman who stood alone . . . Except I don't want to stand alone. I just want to sleep to have a sweet dream and forget all my problems.

She fell into a fitful sleep and had a dream she didn't ask for.

* * *

That evening as they finished packing for their mission Kasiria wasn't too surprised to find herself called to Captain Derek's office. She walked right in and sat without waiting for him to invite her to so she really was learning more from the Kartiks than they were learning from her.

"All right. I'm ready. Let me have it," Kasiria said.

Derek frowned. "Kasiria what are you on about?"

She realized then that he hadn't heard about her relationship with Jabone. "I ah . . . just anxious to have my orders."

"Your unit will ride in the middle with the wagons . . . "

"The safe spot . . . Why? Because I'm the king's daughter or because my unit is more than half women . . . "

"Because there are only five of you and yes because you are the king's daughter. Put yourself in my position, Kasiria. If something happens to you how will I ever explain to your father that I had you either leading the troop opening you to forward attack or in the back leaving you vulnerable to ambush?"

"You have no faith in us . . . "

"I do, Kasiria, but give an old man the chance to cover his own . . . head. You know that I'm going against your father's will to assign you at all. If he had his way you wouldn't leave the garrison."

"If he had his way I wouldn't have left the castle," she said, and she almost told him why he should never worry about her or her unit.

"In the field," he cleared his throat, "men can get . . . well the way men get. I don't want any of you women to ever be alone."

Because of course that's our fault not theirs. She thought but said, "That shouldn't be a problem."

"Kasiria . . . you could always back out."

"Why do you want me to fail so badly? Do you fear that once again a woman will out shine all the men? Maybe make a real change in our stagnant country?"

"No, I fear something may happen to you. That you will get hurt or worse yet killed and it would be my fault. Do you know why I'm sending your unit on this mission instead of some of the others?"

Kasiria shook her head no.

"Because as captain of this post it's my duty to protect the surrounding countryside to the best of my abilities. Your unit is the best one here, there is no doubt of that. You, Kasiria, are damned good I don't have to tell you that. I would be negligent of my post if I sent another unit, yet you're my sovereign's flesh and blood. This is why I am leading this mission myself. I am leaving Heath here because his health is no longer good enough for him to work in the field. I have worked with him at my side most of my life and I saw the pain in his eyes when I told him he would be staying. I'm leaving my family and coming out of semi-retirement because I don't trust you or the mission to anyone else. I do none of that because I don't trust your skills or because I fear you will make a great name for yourself. I do it because I do trust your skill and because I know you very well may make a name for yourself."

Kasiria was flushed with pride. "Thank you sir."

"Don't give me any reason to be sorry."

"I won't," Kasiria promised.

"Keep those Kartik thugs of yours in line."

"I will sir."

"You may go," he said with a flip of his hand, "Send Jabone in here, will you?"

"Why do you need to talk to Jabone?" Kasiria demanded quickly.

Derek smiled. "That, Kasiria, is none of your business."

* * *

Jabone walked into the captain's office not knowing what to expect. Derek smiled at the boy. "You aren't in any sort of trouble."

Jabone inwardly sighed with relief.

"This came by rider today." He handed him a roll of parchments with the Great Leader's seal in wax and Jabone smiled broadly. He had sent a letter to his parents a week ago so there was no way this was in answer to that. His parents had written them on their own weeks ago with no prompting from a message from him.

"Thank you. If I write them again and I bring it to you this evening can you make sure it goes out?"

"Of course," Derek said.

"May I?" Jabone asked pointing at the door.

He nodded and Jabone was out of the office and running across the compound back to his barracks.

He sat down on his cot, broke the seal, and opened the roll of parchment pages. They didn't want to stay open having been rolled up for so long.

"What have you got?" Jestsia asked.

"It has the Great Leader's seal whatever it is," Tarius said excitedly in Kartik.

"What is it?" Kasiria asked curiously, looking over Jabone's shoulder.

"Unless I'm wrong it's letters from home." He smiled as he pulled a page free from the others and looked at Tarius. "This one is written to you and Ufalla by your father's hand." Which was sort of a stupid thing for him to say since they all knew that their mother Elise couldn't write. They both reached for the page and then glared at each other. Jabone sighed. "Tarius can read it and then Ufalla."

He looked at the other four pages. There was a letter from his mother, and from both of his fathers but what made him choke back his tears was when he saw the labored hand of his madra in the letters of one page. Writing didn't come easy to her. "Even my madra has written!" he exclaimed. Yet it was Jena's letter that he started to read first.

"Jabone, was there nothing for me?" Jestia asked.

Jabone made a show of looking again just in the hopes that he might think of something to say that was better than just no but there wasn't. "No."

"Nothing?"

"No."

"Read your letters. See if my parents have sent news by way of your parents," she begged him.

He read his letters, smiling the whole time, and ignoring the near fight that had ensued when Ufalla decided that Tarius had hogged the letter long enough and it was her turn and tried to grab it. After a few more minutes Tarius grudgingly handed it over.

"My fadra says the early crop has come in good and that one of his new students has cracked his finger," Tarius started.

"Shut up I'm trying to read," Ufalla hissed at her brother. When she finished reading the letter she made a face. "My mother sends a message to tell us she loves us both and to get along."

It took several minutes for Jabone to get through all his parents' letters and when he did he was more homesick than ever.

"Well?" Jestia asked anxiously when she saw him put the pages down. "Did my parents at the very least send some message?"

Jabone was silent because again. He couldn't think of a less hurtful answer than no.

"No they didn't," Jestia said angrily.

"Our parents don't live where yours do," Jabone said by way of explanation.

"My parents are the Queen and consort of the Kartik!" Jestia screamed in their own language. "If they wanted to they could have gotten a letter to me. Hell they don't even have to do it. They could have had a servant do it. At least that would have been something to show that they at least care."

"But they don't care about anything except you're out of their hair now because your nothing but trouble," Ufalla said in the most hurtful tone of voice she could muster, and Jestia stood up turned on her heel and stomped out of the barracks. Kasiria looked at him and Jabone answered her unasked question with a smile.

"Jestia you can go after." So Kasiria did.

"Was that really necessary?" Jabone asked Ufalla who just shrugged walked over and lay down on her cot facing the wall.

Tarius stared daggers at his sister's back and Jabone asked him in a whisper, "I know why she's mad at you, but why are you mad at her?"

"Because she's mad at me," Tarius said as if it made perfect sense.

"What does your madra say, Jabone?" Ufalla asked, not turning around to face them.

"That she grows tired of hunting with my fadra." He cleared his throat then and tried to mimic his madra's voice. "That my mother cries every day for me, and hopes I will get tired of this and come home soon."

Ufalla laughed and he was happy to hear it because it was real laughter and gave him hope that she would get over this. "So in other words your madra misses you very much."

"Yes."

"And what of Jena, what word from your mother?" Ufalla asked.

"Well she is my mother and she and Dustan just come right out and say they miss me while my madra and fadra write of hunting and express their emotion by saying how much Jena and Dustan miss me. I miss them a lot. I forget about them mostly with everything that's going on and being so far away from home, and then Tarius will tell a story and I remember them and I miss them, and now reading these letters . . . and tomorrow instead of moving closer to home we'll be moving further away."

Tarius nodded and looked at his sister's back. This time all the animosity had left his face as if realizing that she was a living link to his family. "Ufalla, I . . . "

"What?" Ufalla shot back, not deigning to turn and look at him.

"I wish you'd quit being such a little bitch," he said hotly.

"Yeah well I wish you hadn't bedded the witch, so we're about one stanza from an incantation that I'm sure will make your member fall off so go on your turn!" Ufalla screamed back.

Jabone just sighed and wished they'd blow the horn for dinner.

 

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