Hunter’s Run
By
Daniel Abraham
Gardner Dozois
George R. R. Martin
Scanned & Proofed By
MadMaxAU
A novella-length version of this
novel was first published in the US under the title Shadow Twin by scifi.com, 2004
* * * *
Overture
Ramon Espejo awoke floating in a sea of darkness. For a moment, he
was relaxed and mindless, drifting peacefully, and then his identity returned
to him lazily, like an unwanted afterthought.
After the deep, warm nothingness,
there was no pleasure in recalling who he was. Without coming fully awake, he
nonetheless felt the weight of his own being settling on his heart. Despair and
anger and the constant gnawing worry sounded in his mind like a man in the next
room clearing his throat. For some blissful time, he had been no one, and now
he was himself again. His first truly conscious thought was to deny the disappointment
he felt at being.
He was Ramon Espejo. He was
working a prospecting contract out of Nuevo Janeiro. He was ... he was…Ramon
Espejo.
Where he had expected the details
of his life to rush in - what he had done last night, what he was to do today,
what grudges he was nursing, what resentments had pricked him recently - the
next thought simply failed him. He knew he was Ramon Espejo - but he did not
know where he was. Or how he had got there.
Disturbed, he tried to open his
eyes, and found that they were open already. Wherever he was, it was a totally
lightless place, darker than the jungle night, darker than the deep caves in
the sandstone cliffs near Swan’s Neck.
Or perhaps he was blind.
That thought started a tiny
spring of panic within him. There were stories of men who’d got drunk on cheap
synthetic Muscat or Sweet Mary and woke up blind. Had he done that? Had he lost
that much control of himself? A tiny rivulet of fear traced a cold channel down
his spine. But his head didn’t hurt, and his belly didn’t burn. He closed his
eyes, blinking them hard several times, irrationally hoping to jar his vision
back into existence; the only result was an explosion of bright pastel blobs
across his retinas, scurrying colors that were somehow more disturbing than the
darkness.
His initial sense of drowsy
lethargy slid away from him, and he tried to call out. He felt his mouth moving
slowly, but he heard nothing. Was he deaf, too? He tried to roll over and sit
up, but could not. He lay back against nothing, floating again, not fighting,
but his mind racing. He was fully awake now, but he still couldn’t remember
where he was, or how he had got there. Perhaps he was in danger: his immobility
was both suggestive and ominous. Had he been in a mine cave-in? Perhaps a
rockfall had pinned him down. He tried to concentrate on the feel of his body,
sharpening his sensitivity to it, and finally decided that he could feel no
weight or pressure, nothing actually pinioning him. You might not feel
anything if your spinal cord has been cut, he thought with a flash of cold
horror. But a moment’s further consideration convinced him that it could not be
so: he could move his body a little, although when he tried to sit up,
something stopped him, pulled his spine straight, pulled his arms and shoulders
back down from where he’d raised them. It was like moving through syrup, only
the syrup pushed back, holding him gently, firmly, implacably in place.
He could feel no moisture against
his skin, no air, no breeze, no heat or cold. Nor did he seem to be resting on
anything solid. Apparently, his first impression had been correct. He was
floating, trapped in darkness, held in place. He imagined himself like an
insect in amber, caught fast in the gooey syrup that surrounded him, in which
he seemed to be totally submerged. But how was he breathing?
He wasn’t, he realized. He
wasn’t breathing.
Panic shattered him like glass.
All vestiges of thought blinked out, and he fought like an animal for his life.
He clawed the enfolding nothingness, trying to pull his way up toward some
imagined air. He tried to scream. Time stopped meaning anything, the struggle
consuming him entirely, so that he couldn’t say how long it was before he fell
back, exhausted. The syrup around him gently, firmly, pulled him back precisely
as he had been - back into place. He felt as if he should have been panting,
expected to hear his blood pounding in his ears, feel his heart hammering at
his chest - but there was nothing. No breath, and no heartbeat. No burning for
air.
He was dead.
He was dead and floating on a
vast dry sea that stretched away to eternity in all directions. Even blind and deaf,
he could sense the immensity of it, of that measureless midnight ocean.
He was dead and in Limbo, that
Limbo that the Pope at San Esteban kept having to repudiate, waiting in
darkness for the Day of Judgment.
He almost laughed at the thought
- it was better than what the Catholic priest in the tiny adobe church in his
little village in the mountains of northern Mexico had promised him; Father
Ortega had often assured him that he’d go right to the flames and torments of
Hell as soon as he died unshriven - but he could not push the thought away. He
had died, and this emptiness - infinite darkness, infinite stillness, trapped
alone with only his own mind - was what had always waited for him all his life,
in spite of the blessings and benedictions of the Church, in spite of his sins
and occasional semi-sincere repentance. None of it had made any difference.
Numberless years stretched before him with nothing but his own sins and
failures to dwell upon. He had died, and his punishment was to be always and
forever himself under the implacable, unseen eye of God.
But how had it happened?
How had he died? His memory seemed sluggish, unresponsive as a tractor’s engine
on a cold winter morning - hard to start and hard to keep in motion without
sputtering and stalling.
He began by picturing what was
most familiar. Elena’s room in Diegotown with the small window over the bed,
the thick pounded-earth walls. The faucets in the sink, already rusting and
ancient though humanity had hardly been on the planet for more than twenty
years. The tiny scarlet skitterlings that scurried across the ceiling, multiple
rows of legs flailing like oars. The sharp smells of iceroot and ganja, spilled
tequila and roasting peppers. The sounds of the transports flying overhead,
grinding their way up through the air and into orbit.
Slowly, the recent events of his
life took shape, still fuzzy as a badly aligned projection. He had been in
Diegotown for the Blessing of the Fleet. There had been a parade. He had eaten
roasted fish and saffron rice bought from a street vendor, and watched the
fireworks. The smoke had smelled like a strip mine, and the spent fireworks had
hissed like serpents as they plunged into the sea. A giant wreathed in flames,
waving its arms in agony. Was that real? The smell of lemon and sugar. Old
Manuel Griego had been talking about all his plans for when the Enye ships
finally emerged from the jump to the colony planet São Paulo. He flushed with
the sudden, powerful recollection of the scent of Elena’s body. But that was
before…
There had been a fight. He’d
fought with Elena, yes. The sound of her voice - high and accusing and mean as
a pitbull. He’d hit her. He remembered that. She’d screamed and clawed at his
eyes and tried to kick him in the balls. And they’d made up afterwards like
they always did. Afterwards, she had run her fingers along the machete scars on
his arm as he fell into a sated sleep. Or was that another night? So many of
their nights together ended like that…
There had been another
fight, earlier still, with someone else…But his thoughts shied away from that
like a mule might shy away from a snake on a path.
He’d left her before first light,
sneaking out of her room heavy with the smell of sweat and sex while she was
still asleep so he wouldn’t have to talk to her, feeling the morning breeze
cool against his skin. Flatfurs had scurried away from him as he walked down
the muddy street, their alarm cries sounding like panicked oboes. He’d flown
his van to the outfitter’s station because he was going…before they caught him…
His mind balked again. It was not
the nauseating forgetfulness that seemed to have consumed his world, but
something else. There was something his mind didn’t want to recall. Slowly,
gritting his teeth, he forced his memory to bend to his will.
He’d spent the day realigning two
lift tubes in the van. Someone had been there with him. Griego, bitching about
parts. And then he had flown off into the wastelands, the outback, terreno
cimarrón….
But his van had exploded! Hadn’t
it? He suddenly remembered the van exploding, but he remembered seeing it from
a distance. He hadn’t been caught in the blast, but nonetheless the memory was
thick with despair. The van’s destruction was part of it, then, whatever it
was. He tried to bring his focus to that moment - the brightness of the
flame; the hot, sudden wind of the concussion…
Had his heart been beating, it
would have stopped then in terror as memory returned.
He remembered now. And maybe
dying and being in Hell would have been better…
* * * *
PART
ONE
* * * *
CHAPTER ONE
Ramon Espejo lifted his chin, daring his opponent to strike. The
crowd that filled the alleyway behind the ramshackle bar called the El Rey formed
a ring, bodies pressing against each other in the tension between coming close
enough to see and retreating to a safe distance. Their voices were a mixture of
shouts urging the two men to fight and weak, insincere exhortations to make
peace. The big man who was bobbing and weaving across the narrow circle from him
was a pale European, his cheeks flushed red from liquor, his wide, soft hands
balled into fists. He was taller than Ramon, with a greater reach. Ramon could
see the man’s eyes shifting, as wary of the crowd as of Ramon.
‘Come on, pendejo,’ Ramon
said, grinning. His arms were raised and spread, as if he were ready to embrace
the fighter. ‘You wanted power. Come have a taste of it.’
The shifting LEDs of the bar’s
signs turned the night blue and red and amber in turn. Far above them all, the
night sky shone with countless stars too bright and close for the lights of
Diegotown to drown.
The constellation of the Stone
Man stared down at them as they circled, a single star smoldering balefully
like a red eye, as if it was watching, as if it was urging them on.
‘I ought to do it, you ugly
little greaser!’ the European spat. ‘I ought to go ahead and kick your skinny
ass!’
Ramon only bared his teeth and
motioned the man nearer. The European wanted this to be a talking fight
again, but it was too late for that. The voices of the crowd merged into a
single waterfall roar. The European made his move, graceless as a falling
tree; the great left fist made its slow way through the air, moving as though
through molasses. Ramon stepped inside the swing, letting the gravity knife
slip from his sleeve into his hand. He flicked the blade open in the same
motion that brought his fist against the larger man’s belly.
A look of almost comical surprise
crossed the European’s face. His breath went out of him with a whoof.
Ramon stabbed twice more, fast
and hard, twisting the knife just to be sure. He was close enough to smell the
nose-tingling reek of the flowery cologne the man wore, to feel his
liquorice-scented breath panting against his face. The crowd went silent as the
European slipped to his knees and then sat, legs spread, in the filthy muck of
the alley. The big, soft hands opened and closed aimlessly, slick with blood
that turned pale when the LEDs were red, black when the light shifted blue.
The European’s mouth gaped open,
and blood gushed out over his teeth. Slowly, very slowly, seeming to move in
slow motion, he toppled sideways to the ground. Kicked his feet, heels drumming
the ground. Was still.
Someone in the crowd uttered an
awed obscenity.
Ramon’s shrill, self-satisfied
pleasure faded. He looked at the faces of the crowd - wide eyes, mouths open in
little, surprised ‘o’s. The alcohol in his blood seemed to thin, sobriety
floating to the top of his mind. A sinking sense of betrayal possessed him -
these people had been pushing him on, encouraging the fight. And now
they were abandoning him for winning it!
‘What?’ Ramon shouted to the
other patrons of the El Rey. ‘You heard what he was saying! You saw what
he did!’
But the alley was emptying. Even
the woman who’d been with the European, the one who had started it all, was
gone. Mikel Ibrahim, the manager of the El Rey, lumbered toward him, his
great bear-like face the image of patient, saintly suffering. He held out his
wide hand. Ramon lifted his chin again, thrust out his chest, as if Mikel’s
gesture was an insult. The manager only sighed, shook his head slowly back and
forth, and made a pulling gesture with his fingers. Ramon curled his lip,
half-turned away, then slapped the handle of the knife into the waiting palm.
‘Police are coming,’ the manager
warned. ‘You should go home, Ramon.’
‘You saw what happened,’ Ramon
said.
‘No, I wasn’t here when it
happened,’ he said. ‘And neither were you, eh? Now go home. And keep
your mouth shut.’
Ramon spat on the ground and
stalked into the night. It wasn’t until he began to walk that he understood how
drunk he was. At the canal by the plaza, he squatted down, leaned back against
a tree, and waited until he was sure he could walk without listing. Around him,
Diegotown spent its week’s wages on alcohol and kaafa kyit and sex. Music
tumbled in from the rough gypsy houseboats on the canal; fast, festive
accordion mixing with trumpets and steel drums and the shouts of the dancers.
Somewhere in the darkness, a tenfin
was calling mournfully, a ‘bird’ that was really a flying lizard, and which
sounded uncannily like a woman sobbing in misery and despair, something that
had led the superstitious Mexican peasants who made up a large percentage of
the colony’s population to say that La Llorona, the Crying Woman, had
crossed the stars with them from Mexico and now wandered the night of this new
planet, crying not only for all the children who’d been lost and left behind on
Earth, but for all the ones who would die on this hard new world.
He, of course, didn’t believe in
such crap. But as the ghostly crying accelerated to a heartbreaking crescendo,
he couldn’t help but shiver.
Alone, Ramon could regret
stabbing the European; surely it would have been enough just to punch him around,
humiliate him, slap him like a bitch? But when Ramon was drunk and angry, he
always went too far. Ramon knew that he shouldn’t have drunk so much, and that
whenever he got around people, it always seemed to end like this. He’d begun
his evening with the sick knot in his belly that being in the city seemed to
bring, and then by the time he’d drunk enough to untie that knot, as usual
someone had said or done something to enrage him. It didn’t always end with a
knife, but it rarely ended well. Ramon didn’t like it, but he wasn’t ashamed of
it either. He was a man - an independent prospector on a tough frontier colony
world less than a generation removed from its founding. By God, he was a man!
He drank hard, he fought hard, and anyone who had a problem with that would be
wise to keep their pinche opinions to themselves!
A family of tapanos -
small, raccoon-like amphibians with scales like a hedgehog’s spikes - lumbered
up from the water, considered Ramon with dark, shining eyes, and made their way
toward the plaza, where they would scavenge for the dropped food and trash of
the day. Ramon watched them pass, slick dark paths of canal water trailing
behind them, then sighed and hauled himself to his feet.
Elena’s apartment was in the maze
of streets around the Palace of the Governors. It perched above a butcher’s
shop, and the air that came in the back window was often fetid with old gore.
He considered sleeping in his van, but he felt sticky and exhausted. He wanted
a shower and a beer and a plate of something warm to keep his belly from
growling. He climbed the stairs slowly, trying to be quiet, but the lights were
burning in her windows. A shuttle was lifting from the spaceport far to the
north, tracking lights glowing blue and red as the vessel rose toward the
stars. Ramon tried to cover the click and hiss of the door with the throbbing
rumble of the shuttle’s lift drive. But it was no use.
‘Where the fuck have you
been?’ Elena yelled as he stepped inside. She wore a thin cotton dress with a
stain on the sleeve. Her hair was tied back into a knot of black darker than
the sky. Her teeth were bared in rage, her mouth almost square with it. Ramon
closed the door behind him, and heard her gasp. In an instant, the anger had
left her. He followed her gaze to where the European’s blood had soaked the
side of his shirt, the leg of his pants. He shrugged.
‘We’ll have to burn these,’ he
said.
‘Are you okay, mi bijo? What
happened?’
He hated it when she called him
that. He was no one’s little boy. But it was better than fighting, so he
smiled, pulling at the tongue of his belt.
‘I’m fine,’ he said. ‘It was the
other cabron who took the worst of it.’
‘The police…will the police…?’
‘Probably not,’ Ramon said,
dropping his trousers around his knees. He pulled his shirt up over his head. ‘Still,
we should burn these.’
She asked no more questions, only
took his clothes out to the incinerator that the apartments on the block all
shared, while Ramon took a shower. The time readout in the mirror told him that
dawn was still three or four hours away. He stood under the flow of warm water,
considering his scars - the wide white band on his belly where Martin Casaus
had slashed him with a sheet metal hook, the disfiguring lump below his elbow
where some drunken bastard had almost sheared through his bones with a machete.
Old scars. Some older than others. They didn’t bother him; in fact, he liked
them. They made him look strong.
When he came out, Elena was
standing at her back window, arms crossed below her breasts. When she turned to
him, he was ready for the blast furnace of her rage. But instead, her mouth was
a tiny rosebud, her eyes wide and round. When she spoke, she sounded like a
child; worse, like a woman trying to be a child.
‘I was scared for you,’ she said.
‘You never have to be,’ he said. ‘I’m
tough as leather.’
‘But you’re just one man,’ she
said. ‘When Tomas Martinez got killed, there were eight men. They came right up
to him when he came out of his girlfriend’s house, and…’
‘Tomas was a little whore,’ Ramon
said and waved a hand dismissively, as if to say that any real man ought
to be able to stand up against eight thugs sent to even a score. Elena’s lips
relaxed into a smile, and she walked toward him, her hips shifting forward with
each step, as if her pussy were coming to him, the rest of her trailing behind
reluctantly. It could have gone the other way, he knew. They could as easily
have passed the night as they had so many others, shouting at each other,
throwing things, coming to blows. But even that might have ended in sex, and he
was tired enough that he was genuinely grateful that they could simply fuck and
then sleep, and forget about the wasted, empty day that had just gone by. Elena
lifted off her dress. Ramon took her familiar flesh in his arms. The scent of
old blood rose from the butcher’s shop below like an ugly perfume of Earth and
humanity that had followed them across the void.
Afterward, Ramon lay spent in the
bed. Another shuttle was lifting off. Usually there was hardly more than one a
month. But the Enye were coming soon, earlier than expected, and the platform
above Diegotown needed to be fitted out to receive the great ships with their
alien cargos.
It was generations ago that
mankind had raised itself up from the gravity wells of Earth and Mars and
Europa and taken to the stars with dreams of conquest. Humanity had planned to
spread its seed through the universe like a high councilor’s son at a port town
brothel, but it had been disappointed. The universe was already taken. Other
star-faring races had been there before them.
Dreams of empire faded into
dreams of wealth. Dreams of wealth decayed into shamed wonder. More than the
great and enigmatic technologies of the Silver Enye and Turu, it was the nature
of space itself that defeated them, as it had defeated every other star-faring
race. The vast dark was too great. Too big. Communication at the speed
of light was so slow as to barely be communication at all. Governance was
impossible. Law beyond what could be imposed locally was farcical. The outposts
of the Commercial Alliance that humanity had been ‘persuaded’ to join by the
Silver Enye (much as Admiral Perry’s gunships had ‘persuaded’ Japan to open
itself up for trade in a much earlier generation) were wideflung, some outposts
falling out of contact for generations, some lost and forgotten or else put on
a bureaucrat’s schedule of concerns to be addressed another generation hence by
another bureaucrat as yet unborn.
Establishing dominance - or even
much continuity - across that gaping infinity of Night was something that
seemed possible only from the provincially narrow viewpoint imposed by looking
up from the bottom of a gravity well. Once you got out amongst the stars, you
learned better.
No race had been able to overcome
such vast distance, and so they had striven to overcome time. And it was in
this that humanity at last found some small niche in the crowded, chaotic
darkness of the universe. Enye and Turu saw the damage done by humanity to
their own environment, the deep human propensity for change and control and
their profoundly limited ability to see ahead to consequences, and they had
found it more virtue than vice. The vast institutional minds, human and alien
both, entered into a glacially slow generational agreement. Where empty planets
were, intractable and inconvenient and dangerous, with wild flora and unknown
fauna, there humans would be put. For the slow decades or centuries that it
required to tame, to break, to pave over whatever marvels and threats evolution
had put there, the Silver Enye and Cian and Turu and whatever other of the
great races happened by would act as trade ships once had in the ancient days
when mankind had displaced itself from the small islands and insignificant
hills of Earth.
The São Paulo colony was barely
in its second generation. There were women still alive who could recall the
initial descent onto an untouched world. Diegotown, Nuevo Janeiro, San Esteban.
Amadora. Little Dog. Fiddler’s Jump. All the cities of the south had bloomed
since then, like mold on a Petri dish. Men had died from the subtle toxins of
the native foods. Men had discovered the great cat-lizards, soon nicknamed chupacabras,
after the mythical goat-suckers of Old Earth, that had stood proud and dumb
at the peak of the planet’s food chain, and men had died for their discovery.
The oyster-eyed Silver Enye had not. The insect-and-glass Turu had not. The
enigmatic Cian with their penchant for weightlessness had not.
And now the great ships were
coming ahead of schedule; each half-living ship heavy, they all assumed, with
new equipment and people from other colonies hoping to make a place for
themselves here on São Paulo. And also rich with the chance of escape for those
to whom the colony had become a prison. More than one person had asked Ramon if
he’d thought of going up, out, into the darkness, but they had misunderstood
him. He had been in space; he had come here. The only attraction
that leaving could hold was the chance to be someplace with even fewer people,
which was unlikely. However ill he fit in São Paulo, he could imagine no
situation less odious.
He didn’t recall falling asleep,
but woke when the late morning sun streaming through Elena’s window shone in
his face. He could hear her humming in the next room, going about the business
of her morning. Shut up, you evil bitch, he thought, wincing at the
flash of a lingering hangover. She had no talent for song - every note she made
was flat and grating. Ramon lay silent, willing himself back to sleep, away
from this city, this irritating noise, this woman, this moment in time. Then
the humming was drowned by an angry sizzling sound, and, a moment later, the
scent of garlic and chile sausage and frying onions wafted into the room. Ramon
was suddenly aware of the emptiness in his belly. With a sigh, he raised
himself to his elbow, swung his sleep-sodden legs around, and, stumbling
awkwardly, made his way to the doorway.
‘You look like shit,’ Elena said,
‘I don’t know why I even let you in my house. Don’t touch that! That’s my breakfast.
You can go earn your own!’
Ramon tossed the sausage from
hand to hand, grinning, until it cooled enough to take a bite.
‘I work fifty hours a week to
make the credit. And what do you do?’ Elena demanded. ‘Loaf around in
the terreno cimarrón, come into town to drink whatever you earn. You don’t
even have a bed of your own!’
‘Is there coffee?’ Ramon asked.
Elena gestured with her chin toward the worn plastic-and-chitin thermos on the
kitchen counter. Ramon rinsed a tin cup and filled it with yesterday’s coffee. ‘I’ll
make my big find,’ he said. ‘Uranium or tantalum. I’ll make enough money that I
won’t have to work again for the rest of my life.’
‘And then you’ll throw me out and
get some young puta from the docks to follow you around. I know what men
are like.’
Ramon filched another sausage
from her plate. She slapped the back of his hand hard enough to sting.
‘There’s a parade today,’ Elena
said. ‘After the Blessing of the Fleet. The governor’s making a big show to
beam out to the Enye. Make them think we’re all so happy that they came early.
There’s going to be dancing and free rum.’
‘The Enye think we’re trained
dogs,’ Ramon said around a mouthful of sausage.
Hard lines appeared at the
corners of Elena’s mouth, her eyes went cold.
‘I think it would be fun,’ she
said, thin venom in her tone. Ramon shrugged. It was her bed he was sleeping
in. He’d always known there was a price for its use.
‘I’ll get dressed,’ he said and
swilled down the last of the coffee. ‘I’ve got a little money. It can be my
treat.’
* * * *
They skipped the Blessing of the Fleet, Ramon having no interest
in hearing priests droning mumbo-jumbo bullshit while pouring dippers of holy
water on beaten-up fishing boats, but they’d arrived in time for the parade
that followed. The main street that ran past the Palace of the governors was
wide enough for five hauling trucks to drive abreast, if they stopped traffic
coming the other way. Great floats moved slowly, often stopping for minutes at
a time, with secular subjects - a ‘Turu spacecraft’ studded with lights, being
pulled by a team of horses; a plastic chupacabra with red-glowing eyes
and a jaw that opened and closed to show the great teeth made from old pipes -
mixing with oversized displays of Jesus, Bob Marley, and the Virgin of
Despegando Station. Here came a twice-life-sized satirical (recognizable but
very unflattering) caricature of the governor, huge lips pursed as if ready to
kiss the Silver Enyes’ asses, and a ripple of laughter went down the street.
The first wave of colonists, the ones who had named the planet São Paulo, had
been from Brazil, and although few if any of them had ever been to Portugal,
they were universally referred to as ‘the Portuguese’ by the Spanish-speaking
colonists, mostly Mexicans, who had arrived with the second and third waves. ‘The
Portuguese’ still dominated the upper-level positions in local government and
administration, and the highest-paying jobs, and were widely resented and
disliked by the Spanish-speaking majority, who felt they’d been made into
second-class citizens in their own new home. A chorus of boos and jeers
followed the huge float of the governor down the street.
Musicians followed the great
lumbering floats: steel bands, string bands, mariachi bands, tuk bands,
marching units of zouaves, strolling guitarists playing fado music.
Stiltwalkers and tumbling acrobats. Young women in half-finished carnival
costumes danced along like birds. With Elena at his side, Ramon was careful not
to look at their half-exposed breasts (or to get caught doing so).
The maze of side streets was
packed full. Coffee stands and rum sellers; bakers offering frosted pastry redjackets
and chupacabras; food carts selling fried fish and tacos, satay and
jug-jug; side-show buskers; street artists; fire-eaters; three-card monte
dealers - all were making the most of the improvised festival. For the first
hour, it was almost enjoyable. After that, the constant noise and press and
scent of humanity all around him made Ramon edgy. Elena was her infant-girl
self, squealing in delight like a child and dragging him from one place to
another, spending his money on candy rope and sugar skulls. He managed to slow
her slightly by buying real food - a waxed paper cone of saffron rice, hot
peppers, and strips of roasted butterfin flesh, and a tall, thin glass of
flavored rum - and by picking a hill in the park nearest the palace where they
could sit on the grass and watch the great, slow river of people slide past
them.
Elena was sucking the last of the
spice from her fingertips and leaning against him, her arm around him like a
chain, when Patricio Gallegos caught sight of them and came walking slowly up
the rise. His gait had a hitch in it from when he’d broken his hip in a
rock-slide; prospecting wasn’t a safe job. Ramon watched him approach.
‘Hey,’ Patricio said. ‘How’s it
going, eh?’
Ramon shrugged as best he could
with Elena clinging to him like ivy on brick.
‘You?’ Ramon asked.
Patricio wagged a hand - not
good, not bad. ‘I’ve been surveying mineral salts on the south coast for one of
the corporations. It’s a pain in the ass, but they pay regular. Not like being
an independent.’
‘You do what you got to do,’
Ramon said, and Patricio nodded as if he’d said something particularly wise. On
the street, the chupacabra float was turning slowly, the great idiot
mouth champing at the air. Patricio didn’t leave. Ramon shielded his eyes from
the sun and looked up at him.
‘What?’ Ramon said.
‘You hear about the ambassador
from Europa?’ Patricio said. ‘He got in a fight last night at the El Rey. Some
crazy pendejo stabbed him with a bottle neck or something.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah. He died before they could
get him to the hospital. The governor’s real pissed off about it.’
‘So what are you telling me for?’
Ramon asked. ‘I’m not the governor.’
Elena was still as stone beside
him, her eyes narrow in an expression of low cunning. Ramon quietly willed
Patricio away, or at least to shut up. But the man didn’t pick up on it.
‘The governor’s all busy with the
Enye ships coming in. Now he has to track down the guy that killed the
ambassador, and show how the colony is able to keep the law and all. I’ve got a
cousin who works for the chief constable. It’s ugly over there.’
‘Okay,’ Ramon said.
‘I was just thinking, you know.
You hang out at the El Rey sometimes.’
‘Not last night,’ Ramon said,
glowering. ‘You can ask Mikel if you want. I wasn’t there all night.’
Patricio smiled and took an
awkward step back. The chupacabra made a weak, synthesized roar and the
crowd around it shrilled with laughter and applause.
‘Yeah, okay,’ Patricio said. ‘I
was just thinking. You know…’
And with the conversation
trailing away, Patricio smiled, nodded, and limped back down the hill.
‘It wasn’t you, was it?’
Elena half-whispered, half-hissed. ‘You didn’t kill the fucking ambassador?’
‘I didn’t kill anyone, and sure
as hell not a European. I’m not stupid,’ Ramon said. ‘Why don’t you watch your
fucking parade, eh?’
Night came on as the parade wound
down. At the bottom of the hill, in a field near the palace, they were putting
a torch to the pile of wood surrounding Old Man Gloom - Mr Harding, some of the
colonists from Barbados called him - a hastily cobbled-together effigy, almost
twenty feet tall, with a face like a grotesque caricature of a European or a norteamericano,
green-painted cheeks, and an enormous Pinocchio nose. The bonfire blazed,
and, wreathed in flames, the giant effigy began to swing its arms and groan in
seeming agony, a somehow eerie sight that sent a chill up Ramon’s spine, as if
he had been given the dubious privilege of watching a soul being tormented in
the fires of Hell.
All the bad luck that dogged
people throughout the year was supposed to be burning up with Old Man Gloom,
but watching the giant twist and writhe in slow motion in the flames, its deep,
electronically amplified moans echoing off the walls of the Palace of the governors,
Ramon had a glum presentiment that it was his good luck that was burning
instead, that from here on in he was headed for nothing but misery and misfortune.
And one glance at Elena - who had
been sitting silently with her jaw set tight and white lines of anger etched
around her mouth ever since he had snapped at her - was enough to tell him that
it wasn’t going to be very long before that prophecy started to come true.
* * * *
CHAPTER TWO
He hadn’t intended to go back out for another month. Even though
they’d fucked passionately the night before, after one of their most vicious
arguments ever, tearing at each other’s bodies like crazed things, he’d decided
to leave before she could wake up. If he’d waited, they’d only have had another
fight, and she probably would have kicked him out anyway; he’d taken a swing at
her with a bottle the night before, and she would be outraged at that once she’d
sobered up. Still, if it wasn’t for the killing at the El Rey, he might
have tried staying in town. Elena’d probably calm down in a day or two, at
least enough that they could speak to each other without shouting, but the news
of the European’s death and the governor’s wrath made Diegotown feel close and
claustrophobic. When he went to the outfitter’s station to buy rations and
water filters, he felt like he was being watched. How many people had been in
that crowd? How many of those would know him by sight - or name? The outfitter
didn’t have everything on Ramon’s list, but he had bought what was immediately
available, and then had flown his van to Manuel Griego’s salvage yard in Nuevo
Janeiro. The van needed some work before it could head out into the world, and
Ramon wanted it done now.
Griego’s yard squatted at the
edge of the city. The hulking frames of old vans and canopy fliers and personal
shuttles littered the wide acres. In the hangar, it was equal parts junk shop
and clean room. Power cells hung from the rafters, glowing with the eerie light
that all Turu technology seemed to carry with it. A nuclear generator the size
of a small apartment ran along one wall, humming to itself. Storage units were
stacked floor to ceiling; tanks of rare gas and undifferentiated nanoslurry
mixed in with half-bald tires and oily drive trains. Half the things in the shop
would cost more than a year’s wages just to make use of; half were hardly worth
the effort to throw out. Old Griego himself was hammering away on a lift tube
as Ramon set his van down on the pad.
‘Hey, ese,’ Griego called
out when Ramon popped the doors and came down to the working floor. ‘Long time.
Where you been keeping yourself?’
Ramon shrugged.
‘I got a power drop in my back
lift tubes,’ he said.
Griego frowned, put down his
hammer, and wiped greasy hands on greasy pants.
‘Put on the diagnostic,’ he said.
‘Let’s take a look.’
Of all the men in Diegotown and
Nuevo Janeiro - or possibly on this world - Ramon liked old Griego best - which
was to say, he only hated him a little. Griego was an expert on all things
vehicular, a post-contact Marxist, and, so far as Ramon could make out, totally
free of moral judgments. It took them little more than an hour to find where
the lift tube’s chipset had lost coherence, replace the card, and start the
system’s extensive self-check. As the van stuttered and chuffed to itself,
Griego lumbered to one of the gray storage tanks, keyed in a security code, and
opened a refrigeration panel to reveal a case of local black beer. He hauled
out two bottles, snapping the caps free with a flick of his thick, callused
fingers. Ramon took the one that was held out to him, squatted with his back
against a drum of spent lubricant, and drank. The beer was thick and yeasty,
sediment in the bottom like a spoonful of mud.
‘Pretty good, eh?’ Griego said
and drank a quarter of his own at a pull.
‘Not bad,’ Ramon said.
‘So you’re heading out?’
‘This is going to be the big one,’
Ramon said. ‘This time I’m coming back a rich man. You wait. You’ll see.’
‘You better hope not,’ Griego
said. ‘Too much money kills men like you and me. God meant us to be poor, or he
wouldn’t have made us so mean.’
Ramon grinned. ‘God meant you to
be mean, Manuel. He just didn’t want me taking any shit from anybody.’ A quick
vision of the European, mouth gaping open, blood gushing out over tombstone
teeth, came to him, and he frowned.
Griego was shaking his head. ‘The
same thing again, eh? This time’s the one, just like every other time
you been out.’ He grinned. ‘You know how many times I heard you say that?’
‘Yep,’ Ramon said. ‘This time’s
different, just like always.’
‘Go with God, then,’ Griego said.
His grin faded. ‘Everyone’s been scrambling. Trying to get things finished.
Aliens caught everyone with their pants around their knees, coming early like
this. Funny, though. I don’t see a whole lot of people heading out right now.
Pretty much everyone’s coming in for the ships - except you.’
Ramon sneered, but he felt the
constant fear in his breast tighten a notch.
‘What? They’re going to give half
a shit about a prospector like me? What’s there for me if I stay?’
‘Didn’t say you should,’ Griego
said. ‘Just said there’s not many people going out right now.’
I look suspicious, Ramon thought.
I look like I’m running from something. He’ll tell the police, and then I’m
fucked. He clamped his hand around the bottle so hard his knuckles ached.
‘It’s Elena,’ Ramon said, hoping
the half-lie would be convincing enough.
‘Ah,’ Griego said, nodding
sagely. ‘I thought it must be something like that.’
‘She kicked me out again,’ Ramon
said, trying to sound hang-dog despite the relief washing through him. ‘We had
a fight about the parade. It got a little out of hand is all.’
‘She know you’re taking off?’
‘I don’t think she cares,’ Ramon
said.
‘Right now, maybe she doesn’t.
But you fly out of here and three weeks later she decides that all is forgiven,
she’s going to come around tearing up my place.’
Ramon chuckled, remembering the
incident that Griego was talking about. He was wrong, though. That hadn’t been
about making peace; Elena had convinced herself that Ramon had taken a woman
with him when he went out in the field. She hadn’t stopped raging and ranting
until she found the girl on whom her paranoia had fixed still in town and
involved with one of the magistrates, and even then she still seemed to hold a
grudge. Ramon had had to spend almost half the money he’d gotten from his
survey work just buying beer and kaafa kyit for all his business contacts whom
she’d alienated.
Griego didn’t laugh with him.
‘You know she’s crazy, don’t you?’
he asked instead.
‘She does get pretty wild,’ Ramon
said with a half-smile, trying the expression out like it was a new shirt.
‘No, I know wild girls. Elena is
fucking loca. I know you like that girl down at the exchange. What’s her
name?’
‘Lianna?’ Ramon asked, disbelief
in his voice.
‘Yeah that’s the one. Lives over
on the north side. Used to be you had a thing with her, didn’t you?’
Ramon remembered those days, when
he’d been a younger man, new to the colony. Yes, there had been a woman with
coffee-and-milk skin and a laugh that made a man happy just listening to it.
Maybe he had even dreamed about her a few times since. But that had carried its
own slice of hell with it. Ramon scratched at the scar that striped his belly.
Griego raised an eyebrow and Ramon coughed out a laugh.
‘She’s…No. No, she’s not like
that. There couldn’t be anything between someone like her and someone like me.
And don’t ever let Elena hear you say different.’
Griego gestured his discretion
with a wave of his bottle. Ramon took another pull. The thick, earthy taste of
the beer was growing on him. He wondered how much alcohol the brew carried.
‘Lianna was a good woman,’ Ramon
said. ‘Elena’s like me, though. We understand each other, you know?’ His voice
filled with a sudden bitterness that surprised him. ‘We deserve each other.’
‘If you say so,’ Griego said, and
the van chimed, its self-test complete. Ramon levered himself up and followed
Griego to where the results floated in the air. The power and variance checked
at each level, just edging down below optimal on the highest range. Griego
waved a crooked finger at the drop.
‘That’s a little weird,’ he said.
‘Maybe we should take another look at - ’
‘It’s the cable,’ Ramon said. ‘Salt
rats ate through the old one. I had to get gold for the replacement. Couldn’t
afford the carbon mesh.’
‘Ah,’ Griego said and clicked his
tongue in something between sympathy and disapproval. ‘Yeah, that would do it.
Too bad about the rats. That’s the problem with scaring away all the predators,
eh? We wind up protecting all the things they used to eat, like salt rats and
flatfurs, and then they’re everywhere.’
‘I’ll take a few rats if I don’t
have to worry that there’s chupacabras and redjackets in the street
every time I go out for a piss,’ Ramon said. ‘Besides, if we didn’t have
vermin, how would we know we’d made a real city, right?’
Griego snapped off the display
and shrugged. They settled the account; half from Ramon’s available credit,
half into an interest bearing tab that the salvage yard’s system kept track of
automatically. The sun was setting; the sky pink and gold and blue the color of
lapis. Stars glimmered shyly from behind daylight’s veil. And Diego-town spread
below them, its lights like a permanent fire. Ramon finished the last of his
beer, then spat out the sediment. It left grit between his teeth.
‘The last mouthful’s not the best
one,’ Griego said. ‘Still. Beats water.’
‘Amen,’ Ramon said.
‘How long you going out for?’
‘A month,’ Ramon said. ‘Maybe
two.’
‘Miss the whole festival.’
‘That’s the idea,’ Ramon agreed.
‘You got enough food for that?’
‘I got hunting gear,’ Ramon said.
‘I could live out there forever if I wanted.’ He was surprised at the wistful,
even yearning, tone that he could hear in his own voice.
There was a moment’s silence
before Griego spoke again; words that made Ramon’s nerves shrill with sudden
fear.
‘You hear about the European that
got killed?’
Ramon looked up, startled, but
Griego was sucking at his teeth, his expression placid.
‘What about him?’ Ramon asked
warily.
‘Governor’s all pissed off about
it, from what I hear.’
‘Too bad for the governor, then.’
‘The police came by. Two
constables looking real serious. Asked if anyone had been in, getting a van in
shape to head out fast. You know, someone who was maybe trying not to be found.’
Ramon nodded, staring at the van.
His throat felt tight and the thick beer in his belly seemed to have turned to
stone.
‘What did you tell them?’
‘Told them no,’ Griego said with
a shrug.
‘There wasn’t anyone?’
‘A couple,’ Griego said. ‘Orlando
Wasserman’s kid. And that crazy gringa from Swan’s Neck. But I figured, what
the hell, you know? The police don’t pay me, these other people do. So where do
my loyalties lie?’
‘Man got killed,’ Ramon said.
‘Yeah,’ Griego agreed,
pleasantly. ‘A gringo.’ He spit sideways, then shrugged, as if the death of a
gringo or any other kind of European was of no great consequence. ‘I’m just
saying it because I’m not the only one they’re asking. You taking off, they may
take that the wrong way, give you a hard time about it. Just keep that in mind
when you supply up.’
Ramon nodded.
‘They gonna catch him, you think?’
Ramon asked.
‘Oh yeah,’ Griego said. ‘They’ll
have to. Bust a gut to do it, if they got to. Show the Enye that we’re a
justice-loving people. Not that they care. Shit, fucking Enye lick each
other hello. Probably lick the governor and get pissed off if he doesn’t lick
them back. Anyway, he’ll make a big show out of the trial, do everything to prove
how they got the right guy, then put him down like a fucking dog. You know,
whoever it is they decide did it. No one else, there’s always Johnny Joe
Cardenas. They’ve been looking for something to hang on him for years.’
‘Maybe it’ll be good that I get
out of the city for a while, then,’ Ramon said. He tried a weak smile that felt
as obvious as a confession. ‘You know. Just to avoid misunderstandings.’
‘Yeah,’ Griego said. ‘Besides,
this is the big one right?’
‘Lucky strike,’ Ramon agreed.
When he started up the van, he
could feel the difference. The lift tubes seemed to chime as he lifted up into
the sky, all of Diegotown, with its unplanned maze of narrow streets and
red-roofed buildings, below him. Elena was down there somewhere. The police too.
The body of the European. Mikel Ibrahim and the gravity knife Ramon had handed
to him, just handed to him. The murder weapon! And slumped in a bar or a basement
opium den - or maybe breaking into someone’s house - Johnny Joe Cardenas, just
waiting to hang.
And Lianna, maybe, somewhere in
the good section by the port, who didn’t think of Ramon anymore and probably
never would.
Ramon’s thoughts were interrupted
by the pulsing hum of a shuttle rising up into the thin and distant air.
Another load of metal or plastic or fuel or chitin for the welcoming platform.
Ramon spun the van north, set it for proximity avoidance, and headed out alone,
leaving all the hell and shit and sorrow of Diegotown behind.
* * * *
CHAPTER THRE
It was a warm day in the Second June. He flew his beat-up old van
north across the Fingerlands, the Green-glass country, the river marshes, the Océano
Tétrico, heading deep into unknown territory. North of Fiddler’s Jump, the
northernmost outpost of the metastasizing human presence on the planet, were
thousands of hectares that no one had ever explored, or even thought of
exploring, land so far only glimpsed from orbit during the first colony
surveys.
The human colony on the planet of
São Paulo was only a little more than twenty years old, and the majority of its
towns were situated in the subtropic zone of the snaky eastern continent that
stretched almost from pole to pole. The colonists were mostly from Brazil and
Mexico, with a smattering from Jamaica, Barbados, Puerto Rico, and other
Caribbean nations, and their natural inclination was to expand south, into the
steamy lands near the equator - they were not effete norteamericanos, after
all; they were used to such climates, they knew how to live with the heat, they
knew how to farm the jungles, their skins did not sear in the sun. So they
looked to the south, and tended to ignore the cold northern territories,
perhaps because of an unvocalized common conviction - one anticipated centuries
before by the first Spanish settlers in the New World of the Americas - that
life was not worth living any place where there was even a remote possibility
of snow.
Ramon, however, was part Yaqui,
and had grown up in the rugged plateau country of northern Mexico. He liked the
hills and white water, and he didn’t mind the cold. He also knew that the
Sierra Hueso mountain chain in the northern hemisphere of São Paulo was a more
likely place to find rich ore than the flatter country around the Hand or Nuevo
Janeiro or Little Dog. The peaks around the Sierra Hueso had been piled up many
millions of years before by a collision between continental plates squeezing
an ocean out of existence between them; the former seabottom would have been
pinched and pushed high into the air along the collision line, and it would be
rich in copper and other metals.
Few if any of the muleback
prospectors like himself had as yet bothered with the northern lands; pickings
were still rich enough down south that the travel time seemed unnecessary to
most people. The Sierra Hueso had been mapped from orbit, but no one Ramon knew
had ever actually been there, and the territory was still so unexplored that
the peaks of the range had not even been individually named. That meant that
there were no human settlements within hundreds of miles, and no satellite to
relay his network signals this far north; if he got into trouble he would be on
his own. He would be one of the first to prospect there, but years would pass,
the economic pressure in the south would get higher, and more people would come
north, following the charts Ramon had made and sold, interpreting the data he
rented out to the corporations and governing bodies. They would follow him like
the native scorpion ants - first one, and then a handful, and then countless
thousands of small insectoid bodies in the consuming river. Ramon was that
first ant, the one driven to risk, to explore. He was a leader not because he
chose to be, but because it was his nature to seek distance.
It was better that way, to be the
first ant. Although he was reluctant to admit it, he’d finally come to realize
that it was better if he worked someplace away from other prospectors. Away
from other people. The bigger prospecting cooperatives might have better
contracts, better equipment, but they also had more rum and more women. And
between those two, Ramon knew, more fighting. He couldn’t trust his own
volatile temper, never had been able to. It had held him back for years, the
fighting, and the trouble it got him into. Now it had gotten him into trouble
that might cost him his life, if they caught him. No, it was better this
way - muleback prospecting, just himself and his van.
Besides, he was finding that he
liked to be out on his own like this, on a clear day with São Paulo’s big soft
sun blinking dimly back at him from rivers and lakes and leaves. He found that
he was whistling tunelessly as the endless forests beneath the van slowly
changed from blackwort and devilwood to the local conifer-equivalents: iceroot,
creeping willow, hierba. At last, there was no one around to bother him.
For the first time that day, his stomach had almost stopped hurting.
Almost.
With every hour that passed,
every forest and lake that appeared, drew near, and slipped away, the thought
of the European he’d killed grew in Ramon’s mind, his presence sharpening pixel
by pixel, becoming more real, until he could almost, almost, see him sitting in
the copilot’s seat, that stupid look of dumb surprise at his own mortality
still stamped on his big pale face - and the more real his ghostly presence
became, the deeper Ramon’s hatred for him grew.
He hadn’t hated him back at the El
Rey; the man had just been another bastard looking for trouble and finding
Ramon. It had happened before more times than he could recall. It was part of
how things worked. He came to town, he drank, he and some rabid asshole found
each other, and one of them walked away. Maybe it was Ramon, maybe it was the
other guy. Rage, yes, rage had something to do with it, but not hatred. Hatred
meant you knew a man, you cared about him. Rage lifted you up above everything
- morality, fear, yourself. Hatred meant that someone had control over you.
This was the place that usually
brought him peace, the outback, the remote territory, the unpeopled places. The
tension that came with being around people loosened. In the city - Diegotown
or Nuevo Janeiro or any place where too many people came together - Ramon had
always felt the press of people against him. The voices just out of earshot,
the laughter that might or might not have been directed at him, the impersonal
stares of men and women, Elena’s lush body and her uncertain mind; they were
why Ramon drank when he was in the city and stayed sober in the field. In the
field there was no reason to drink.
But here, where that peace should
have been, the European was with him. Ramon would look out into the limitless
bowl of the sky, and his mind would turn back to that night at the El Rey, the
sudden awed silence of the crowd. The blood pouring from the European’s mouth.
His heels drumming against the ground. He checked his maps, and instead of
letting his mind run freely across the fissures and plates of the planetary
surface, he thought of where the police might go to search for him. He could
not let go of what had happened, and the frustration of that was almost as
enraging as the guilt itself.
But guilt was for weaklings and
fools. Everything would be all right. He would spend his time in the field,
communing with the stone and the sky, and when he returned to the city, the
European would be last season’s news. Something half remembered and retold in a
thousand different versions, none of them true. It was one little death among
all the hundreds of millions - natural and otherwise - that happened every year
throughout the known universe. The dead man’s absence would be like taking a
finger out of water; it wouldn’t leave a hole.
Mountains made a line across the
world before him: ice and iron, iron and ice.
Those would be the Sawtooths,
which meant that he’d already overflown Fiddler’s Jump. When he checked the
navigation transponders, there was no signal. He was gone, out of human
contact, off the incomplete communication network of the colony. On his own. He
made the adjustments he’d planned, altering his flight path to throw off any
human hounds that the law might set after him, but even as he did so, the
gesture seemed pointless. He wouldn’t be followed. No one would care.
He set the autopilot, tilted his
chair back until it was almost flat as his cot, and, in spite of the
reproachful almost-presence of the European, let the miles rolling by beneath
him lull him to sleep.
When he woke, the even-grander
peaks of the Sierra Hueso range were thrusting above the horizon, and the sun was getting low in the sky, casting
shadows across the mountain faces. He switched off the autopilot and brought
the van to rest in a rugged upland meadow along the southern slopes of the
range. After the bubble-tent had been set up, the last perimeter alarm had been
placed, and a fire pit dug and dry wood scavenged to fill it, Ramon walked to
the edge of a small nearby lake. This far north, it was cold even in summer,
and the water was chill and clear; the biochip on his canteen reported nothing
more alarming than trace arsenic. He gathered a double-handful of sug beetles
and took them back to his camp. Boiled, they tasted of something midway between
crab and lobster, and the gray stone-textured shells took on an unpredictable
rainbow of iridescent colors when the occupying flesh was sucked free. It was
easy to live off this country, if you knew how. In addition to sug beetles and
other scavengable foodstuffs, there was water to hand and there would be easy
game nearby if he chose to stay longer than the month or two his van’s supplies
would support. He might stay until the equinox, depending on the weather. Ramon
even found himself wondering how difficult it would be to winter over here in
the north. If he dropped south to Fiddler’s Jump for fuel and slept in the van
for the coldest months…
After he’d eaten, he lit a
cigarette, lay back, and watched the mountains darken with the sky. A flapjack
moved against the high clouds, and Ramon rose up on one elbow to watch it. It
rippled its huge, flat, leathery body, sculling with its wing tips, seeking a
thermal. Its ridiculous squeaky cry came clearly to him across the gulfs of
air. They were almost level; it would be evaluating him now, deciding that he
was much too big to eat. The flapjack tilted and slid away and down, as though
riding a long invisible slope of air, off to hunt squeakers and grasshoppers in
the valley below. Ramon watched the flapjack until it dwindled to the size of a
coin, glowing bronze in the failing light.
‘Good hunting!’ he called after
it, and then smiled, good hunting for both of them, eh? As the last of the
daylight touched the top of the ridgeline on the valley’s eastern rise, Ramon
caught sight of something. A discontinuity in the stone. It wasn’t the color or
the epochal striations, but something more subtle. Something in the way the
face of the mountain sat. It wasn’t alarming as much as interesting. Ramon put
a mental flag there; something strange, worth investigating in the morning.
He lounged by the fire for a few
moments while the night gathered completely around him and the alien stars came
out in their chill, blazing armies. He named the strange constellations the
people of São Paulo had drawn in the sky to replace the old constellations of Earth
- the Mule, the Stone Man, the Cactus Flower, the Sick Gringo - and wondered
(he’d been told, but had forgotten) which of them had Earth’s own sun twinkling
in it as a star? Then he went to bed and to sleep, dreaming that he was a boy
again in the cold stone streets of his hilltop pueblo, sitting on the roof of
his father’s house in the dark, a scratchy wool blanket wrapped around him,
trying to ignore the loud, angry voices of his parents in the room below,
searching for São Paulo’s star in the winter sky.
* * * *
CHAPTER FOUR
In the morning, Ramon poured water over the remains of the fire,
then pissed on it just to be sure it was out. He ate a small breakfast of cold
tortillas and beans, and disconnected his pistol from the van’s power cells and
tucked it into his holster where it was a warm, comforting weight on his hip;
out here, you could never be sure when you were going to run into a chupacabra
or a snatchergrabber. He exchanged the soft flatfur slippers he wore in
the van for his sturdy old hiking boots, and set out to hike to the
discontinuity he’d spotted the night before; as always, his boots somehow
seemed more comfortable crunching over the uneven ground than they had been on
the city streets. Dew soaked the grasses and the leaves of the shrubs. Small
monkey-like lizards leapt from branch to branch before him, calling to each
other with high, frightened voices. There were millions of uncataloged species
on São Paulo. In the twenty minutes it took him to make his way to a promising
site at the base of a stone cliff, Ramon might have climbed past a hundred
plants and animals never before seen by human eyes.
Before long, he found the
discontinuity, and surveyed it almost with regret; he’d been enjoying the
effort for its own sake, pausing frequently to enjoy the view or to rest in the
watery sunlight. Now he’d have to get to work.
The lichen that clung to the rock
of the mountainside was dark green and grew in wide spirals that reminded
Ramon of cave paintings. Up close, the discontinuity was less apparent. He
could trace the striations from one face to the next without sign of a break or
level change. Whatever Ramon had caught in the failing light of the day before,
it was invisible now.
He took the field pack from his
shoulders, lit a cigarette, and considered the mountain face before him. The
stones around him appeared to be largely metamorphic - their elongated grain
speaking to Ramon of the unthinkable pressure and heat near São Paulo’s mantle.
The glaciers, when they passed, would have carved this ground, strewing parts
of any given field far from their origin. Still, the underlying stone was
certainly igneous or metamorphic. The sedimentary layers, if there were any,
would be higher up, where the ground was newest. It was the sort of place where
a man might find the strike he’d hoped for. Uranium ore, possibly. Tungsten or
tantalum if he were lucky. And even if he only found gold or silver or copper,
there were places he could still sell the data. The information would be worth
more than the metals themselves.
The sad irony of his profession
had not escaped Ramon. He would never willingly have moved off São Paulo. Its
emptiness was the thing that made it a haven for him. In a more developed
colony, the global satellites and ground-level networked particulates would
have made solitude impossible. São Paulo still had frontiers, limits beyond
which little or nothing was known. He and the others like him were the hands
and eyes of the colony’s industry; his love of the unknown corners and niches
of the world was unimportant. His experience of them, the data and surveys and
knowledge: those had value. And so he made his money by destroying the things
that gave him solace. It was an evil scheme, but typical, Ramon thought, of
humanity’s genetic destiny of contradiction. He stubbed out his cigarette, took
a hand pick from the field pack, and began the long, slow process of scouting
out a good place for a coring charge.
The sun shone down benevolently,
and Ramon stripped off his shirt, tucking it into the back of his pistol belt.
Between hand pick and his small field shovel, he cleared away the thin covering
of plants and soil, finding hard, solid rock not more than a foot and a half
below the surface. If it had been much more, he’d have gone back for the tools
in the van - powered for minor excavations, but expensive, prone to breaking
down, and with the whining electrical sound of civilization to argue against
their use. Looking along the mountainside, there would likely be other places
that would require the more extensive labor. All the better, then, that he
begin here.
The coring charge was designed to
carve a sample out of the living rock the length of an arm. Longer if it was a
particularly soft stone. In the next week, Ramon would gather a dozen or so
such cores from sites up and down the valley. After that, there would be three
or four days while the equipment in the van sifted through the debris for trace
elements and ores too slight to identify simply by looking. Once Ramon had that
in hand, he could devise a strategy for garnering the most useful information
in the cheapest possible way. Even as he set the first charge, he found himself
fantasizing about those long, slow, lazy days while the tests ran. He could go
hunting. Or explore the lakes. Or find a warm place in the sun and sleep while
the breeze set the grasses to singing. His fingers danced across the
explosives, tugging at wires and timing chips with the ease and autonomous
grace of long practice. Many prospectors lost careers and hands - sometimes
lives - by being too careless with their tools. Ramon was careful, but he was
also practiced. Once the site was chosen and cleared, placing the charge took
less than an hour.
He found himself, strangely,
procrastinating about setting it off. It was so quiet here, so still, so
peaceful! From up here, the forested slopes fell away in swaths of black and
dead blue and orange, the trees rippling like a carpet of moss as the wind blew
across them - except for the white egg of his bubbletent on the mountain
shoulder below, it was a scene that might not have changed since the beginning
of time. For a moment, he was almost tempted to forget about prospecting, and
just relax and unwind on this trip, as long as he was being forced to hide out
in the hills anyway, but he shrugged the temptation away - once the fuss over
the European had blown over, once he went back, he would still need money, the
van wouldn’t hold together forever, and Elena’s scorn if he returned
empty-handed again was something he wasn’t anxious to face. Perhaps there will
be no ore here anyway, he told himself almost wishing it, and then wondered at
the tenor of his thoughts. Surely it could not be a bad thing to be rich? His
stomach was beginning to hurt again.
He looked up at the mountain
face. It was beautiful; rugged and untouched. Once he was done with it, it
would never be the same.
‘All apologies,’ he said to the
view he was about to mar. ‘But a man has to make his money somehow. Hills don’t
have to eat.’
Ramon took one last cigarette
from its silver case and smoked it like a man at an execution. He walked down
to the boulders he’d chosen for shelter stringing the powder-primed fuse cord,
hunkered down behind the rocks, and lit the fuse with the last ember.
There was the expected blast; but
while the sound should have been a single report echoing against the mountains
and then fading, it grew louder and longer instead. The hillside shifted
greasily under him, like a giant shrugging in uneasy sleep, and he heard the
express-train rumble of sliding rock. He could tell from the sound alone that
something had gone very wrong.
A great cloud of dust enveloped
him, white as fog and tasting like plaster and stone. A landslide. Somehow
Ramon’s little coring charge had set off a landslide. Coughing, he cursed
himself, thinking back to what he’d seen. How could he have missed a rock face
that unstable? It was the kind of mistake that killed prospectors. If he had
chosen shelter a little nearer than he had, he could have been crushed to
death. Or worse, crippled and buried here where no man would ever find him -
trapped until the redjackets came and stripped the flesh off his bones.
The angry, thundering roar
quieted, faded. Ramon rose from behind the boulders, waving his hand before his
face as if stirring the air would somehow put more oxygen in it or lessen the
thick coating of stone dust that was no doubt forming in his nose and lungs. He
walked slowly forward, his footing uncertain on the newly-made scree. The
stones smelled curiously hot.
A metal wall stood where the
facade of stone had fallen away; half a mountain high and something between
twenty and twenty-five meters wide.
It was, of course, impossible. It
had to be some bizarre natural formation. He stepped forward, and his own
reflection - pale as the ghost of a ghost - moved toward him. When he reached
out, his blurred twin reached out as well, pausing when he paused. He stopped
the motion before hand and ghostly hand could touch, noticing the stunned and
bewildered expression on the face of his reflection in the metal, one no doubt
matched by the expression on his own face. Then, gingerly, he touched the wall.
The metal was cool against his
fingertips. The blast had not even scarred it. And though his mind rebelled at
the thought, it was clearly unnatural. It was a made thing. Made by
somebody and hidden by somebody, behind the rock of the mountain, though
he couldn’t imagine by whom.
It took a moment more for the
full implication to register. Something was buried here under the hill, something
big, perhaps a building of some sort, a bunker. Perhaps the whole mountain was
hollow.
This was the big one, just
the way he’d told Manuel it would be. But the find wasn’t ore; it was this massive
artifact. It couldn’t be a human artifact, the human colony here wasn’t old
enough to have left ruins behind. It had to be alien; perhaps it was millions
of years old. Scientists and archeologists would go insane over this find;
perhaps even the Enye would be interested in it. If he couldn’t parlay this
discovery into an immense fortune, he wasn’t anywhere near as smart as he
thought he was…
He flattened his palm against the
metal, matching hands with his reflection. The cool metal vibrated under his
hand, and, even as he waited, a deeper vibration went through the wall, boom, boom,
low and rhythmic, like the beating of some great hidden heart, like the
heart of the mountain itself, vast and stony and old.
A warning bell began to sound in
the back of Ramon’s mind, and he looked uneasily around him. Another man might
not have reacted to this strange discovery with suspicion, but Ramon’s people had
been persecuted for hundreds of years, and he himself well remembered living on
the grudging sufferance of the mejicanos, never knowing when they would
find some pretext to wipe out his village.
Whatever this wall was, whatever
reason it had for existing here in the twice-forsaken ass end of a half-known
planet, it was no dead ruin - something was at work beneath this mountain. If
this was hidden, it was because someone didn’t want it to be found. And
might not be happy that it had been. Someone unimaginably powerful, to
judge from the scale of this artifact - and probably dangerous.
Suddenly, the sunlight seemed
cold on his shoulders. Again, he looked nervously around him, feeling much too
exposed on the bare mountain slope. Another flapjack called, away across the
air, but now its cries sounded to him like the shrill and batlike wailing of
the damned.
It was time to get out of
here. Get back to the van - maybe take a short video recording of the wall, and
then find someplace else to be. Anywhere else. Even back in Diegotown, where
the threats were at least knowable.
He couldn’t run back to
his camp - the terrain was too rough. But he scrambled down the mountainside as
recklessly as he dared, sliding on his buttocks down bluffs in a cloud of dust
and scree when he could, jumping from rock to rock, bulling his way through
bushes and tangles of scrub hierba, scattering grasshoppers and
paddlefoots before him.
He moved so quickly that he was
more than a third of the way to his camp before the mountain opened behind him
and the alien came out.
High above him, a hole opened in
the mountain’s side - a cave in the metal that a moment ago had not been there
and now simply was. There was a high-pitched whine, like a centrifuge spinning
up, and then, a breath later, something flew out of the hole.
It was square-shaped and built
awkwardly for flight, like something designed to move in vacuum. Bone white and
silent, it reminded Ramon of a ghost, or a great floating skull. Against the
great empty blue of sky, atmosphere thin enough at the top that stars shone
through the blue, it could have been any size at any distance. The strange,
boxy thing hung in the sky, rotating slowly. Looking, Ramon thought. Looking
for him.
Sick dread squeezed his chest.
His camp. The thing was clearly searching for something, and Ramon hadn’t done
anything to conceal the white dome of the bubble-tent or the van beside it.
There had been no reason to. The thing might not see him down here in the underbrush,
but it would see his camp. He had to get there - get back to the van and
into the air - before the thing from the mountain discovered it. His mind was
already racing ahead - would his van outpace the flying white box? Just let him
get it in the air. He could fly it low, make it hard to spot or attack. He was
a good pilot. He could dodge between treetops from here to Fiddler’s Jump if he
had to…
But he had to get there first.
He fled, raw panic pushing away
the last shreds of caution. The demonic white box was lost from sight as he
reached the edge of the scree and dove into the underbrush. The bushes and low
scrub that had seemed thin and easily navigable when he’d been walking were now
an obstacle course. Branches grabbed at him, raking his face and ripping his
clothes. He had the feeling that the flying thing from the mountain was right
on top of him, at his back; ready to strike. His breath burned as he sprinted,
legs churning, back toward the van.
‘I didn’t see anything,’ he
gasped. ‘Please. I wasn’t doing anything! I don’t know anything. Please. I
dreamed it!’
When halfway back to the van he
paused, leaning against a tree to catch his breath, the sky was empty. No
ghostly box hung in the air, searching for him. He was surprised to find that
his pistol was already in his hand. He didn’t recall drawing it. Still, now
that he did think of it, the weight and solidity of it were reassuring. He wasn’t
defenseless. Whatever that fucking thing was, he could shoot it. He spat, anger
taking the place of fear. Maybe he didn’t know what he was facing, but it didn’t
know him either. He was Ramon Espejo! He’d tear the alien a new asshole
if it messed with him.
Buoyed by his bravado and rage,
Ramon started again for the van, one eye to the skies. He had cleared more
ground than he thought; the van was only a few more minutes away. Just let him
get it in the air! He wasn’t going to stop to video anything, not with that
thing out there sniffing for him. But he’d bring back a force from Diegotown -
the governor’s private guard maybe. The police. The army. Whatever was in the
hill, he’d drag it out into the light and crack its shell. He wasn’t afraid of
it or anyone. He wasn’t afraid of God. His litany of denial - Please!
I didn’t see anything! - was already forgotten.
He reached the meadow that
contained his camp just as the alien reappeared overhead. He hesitated, torn
between dashing for the van and diving back into the brush.
It was close enough that Ramon
could size it now; it was smaller than he’d thought - perhaps half the size of
his van. It was ropey; long white strands like the dripping of a candle making
up its walls. Or its face. As it swooped nearer, Ramon felt a knot in his
throat. It was too close. He would never be able to reach the van before it
came between them.
Perhaps it’s friendly, Ramon
thought. Madre de Dios, it had better be friendly!
The van exploded. A geyser of
fire and smoke shot up out of the meadow with a waterfall roar, and tenfin
birds rose screaming all along the mountain flank. The shockwave buffeted Ramon,
splattering him with dirt and pebbles and shredded vegetation. He staggered,
fighting to maintain his balance. Pieces of fused metal thumped down around
him, burning holes in the moss of the meadow floor. It was shooting at him!
Through the plume of smoke, Ramon saw the thing turn, flying fifteen feet above
the ground, swooping toward him again. The bubbletent went up in a ball of
expanding gas, pieces of torn plastic tumbling and swooping like frightened
white birds in the hot turbulence of the explosion.
Ramon caught only a glimpse of
that. He was already in frantic motion, running, swerving, tearing through the
brush. He could hear his own gasping breath, and his heart slammed against his
ribs like a fist. Faster!
He felt the alien craft coming up
behind him more than he saw it. With a despairing cry, Ramon whirled, fired
three times at the looming thing as fast as he could, then turned and fled
again. A tree detonated as he passed it, splinters biting into his face and
legs. He heard a high whine coming close, getting louder, dopplering up the
frequencies. A shockwave knocked the air from him, and he lost his footing. He
fired the pistol again as he fell, without knowing where he’d aimed or if he’d
hit anything.
Something hit him. Hard. His
consciousness blinked out, like a suddenly snuffed candle.
When he woke, he woke in
darkness…
* * * *
PART TWO
* * * *
CHAPTER FIVE
In the darkness - immobile, unbreathing - Ramon found his memory
growing clearer and clearer. The way Griego had shrugged. The rattling
mechanical roar of the chupacabra float. The European’s blood; pale in
the red light and black in the blue. The taste of the stone dust. The taste of
Elena’s mouth. Details that had been vague grew clearer until, by
concentrating, he could hear the voices, feel the cloth of the shirt he’d worn.
All of it. The thing from the mountain had taken him and had done something to
him. Imprisoned him in this vast, empty blackness through a process he could
not imagine and for reasons he couldn’t guess. The silence and the emptiness
changed the nature of time. There was no longer a sense of duration. He couldn’t
say how long he had been there or whether he had slept. He could no more judge
his own sanity than point north; without context, ideas like madness and
direction were meaningless.
The movement, when it came, was
so slight that Ramon could believe that he had imagined it. Something nudged
him. A current moved against his skin; an invisible current in an invisible
sea. He had the feeling of being turned in slow circles. Something solid bumped
his shoulder, and then rose up against his back, or else he sank down upon it.
The syrupy liquid streamed past him, flowing past his face and his body. He
thought of it as draining away, though he might as easily be being lifted up
through it. The flow grew faster and more turbulent. A deep vibration shook
him: boom. Then again, beating through flesh and bone: boom, boom. A
blurred, watery light appeared above him, very dim and immensely far away. Like
a star in a distant constellation. It grew brighter. The liquid in which he
floated drained, the surface coming nearer, like he was rising from the bottom
of a lake, until at last he breached it, and the last of the liquid was gone.
Air and light and sound hit him
like a fist.
His body convulsed like a live
fish on a frying pan, every muscle knotting. He arched up like an epileptic -
head and heels bearing his weight, his spine bent like a bow. Something he
couldn’t see flipped him onto his belly, and he felt a needle slide in at the
base of his spine. He vomited with wrenching violence - thick amber syrup
gouting from his mouth and nose. And then again, sick, racking spasms that
expelled even more, as if his lungs had been filled with the stuff.
I will live, Ramon told himself.
It’s no worse than being sick from too much Muscat. I can live through this…
Another long needle dug into his
neck. A cold fire sprang to life where the thing had pierced him; he felt the
saliva-like secretion running down his sides, then heat, like boiling water
pouring into him.
What have you done to me? Ramon
tried to scream. What did you put in me?
Suddenly, violently, his heart
came to life - and, with a terrible shudder, he began to breathe.
The air he gulped cut like glass,
and his heart thundered in his chest. The world went red. Pain drove away all
thought, all sense of self, and then slowly abated.
Another wave of the sickness
shook him. He voided his bowels, weeping with pain and shame when he wasn’t
coughing. It seemed to go on for hours, but the moments of peace between spasms
gradually grew longer, and it seemed as if some of the strength was beginning
to come back to his arms and legs. His heart ceased to race like a bird trying
to free itself from a net. Tentatively, he sat up.
He was sprawled naked on the
bottom of a metal tank not more than ten feet square. So much for his
measureless midnight ocean! The walls were too high to see over, and the lights
- blue-white and bitter - were too bright to see past and make out the ceiling
beyond. He tried to stand up, but his muscles were putty. It was bitingly cold.
He settled against the metal floor and shivered, feeling his teeth start to
chatter. He tried lifting an arm, but the impulse was slow to reach his flesh,
and the limb swayed drunkenly when it rose. Strong smells that he couldn’t
identify burned his nostrils.
A thing like a snake reared up above
the rim of the tank - thick as a strong man’s arm, it was a dead gray color,
like old meat, and segmented like a worm’s body. Pulsations seemed to travel
along its length. Ramon saw it hesitate, as if considering him, and then
stretch down toward him. Three long, thin tendrils split off where the head
should have been. The gray snake brushed aside Ramon’s clumsy parry and seized
him by the shoulder. Ramon struggled weakly. But his strength was gone, and the
snake’s grip was as cold and pitiless as death. Another snake stretched down
and wrapped itself around his waist.
The snakes lifted him smoothly
out of the tank. He tried to scream, but the sound he made sounded more like a
cough. He was high in the air now, above what seemed to be a vast, high-domed
cavern full of noise and lights and motion and alien shapes. The cavern swarmed
with activity that Ramon could not resolve into recognizable patterns, having
no referents for it. His nose and mouth were filled with a biting, acrid odor,
something like formaldehyde.
The two snakes set him down on a
platform near one wall of the cavern, the surface solid but spongy, like a
great dark tongue. He collapsed as soon as they released him, his legs too weak
to bear his weight. He waited on his hands and knees, staring into the terrible
bright lights, panting like a trapped animal, suddenly longing for the timeless
darkness he’d left behind.
It was dimmer here, in the angle
of the wall and the cavern floor. Inchoate shapes moved ponderously in the shadows;
as they came forward, they were finished and fleshed by the light, but Ramon
still could not discern them. His mind kept fighting to resolve them into the
familiar aspects of humanity, and - terribly, terrifyingly - they would not
resolve. They were too big, and shaped wrong, and their eyes were a bright
glowing orange.
A needle slid out of the end of a
hovering gray tentacle, thrust quickly into Ramon’s arm, too quickly for him to
move or protest. Another prickly wave of heat passed through him, and he
suddenly felt much stronger. What kind of injection had it given him? Glucose?
Vitamins? Perhaps there’d been a tranquilizer in it as well; his head was clear
now, and he felt more alert, less frightened. He drew himself up to his knees,
one hand instinctively covering his crotch.
The shapes had stopped a few feet
away. There were three of them, all bipedal, one bigger than the others. Ramon
could make them out more clearly now. His mind accepted them by treating them
as frauds; he saw them now as men wearing grotesque costumes, and kept looking
for some unconvincing detail that would betray the disguise.
Intellectually, he knew better,
of course. They were not men in costume. They were not men at all. They were
aliens, and not of any race he knew. Ramon had sailed among the stars on one of
the great galley ships of the Silver Enye, and once he had glimpsed three of
the furred, six-legged H’zhei on the back streets of Acapulco, exotic creatures
that looked like a cross between a cat and a caterpillar. The Turu he had seen only
on video, and even there they made his skin crawl. These aliens were not Turu,
not Enye, not Cian, not members of any of the Great Races. They were not part
of the universe as he knew it. They did not belong. A hundred questions,
accusations, and pleas fought in his mind. Who are you? What do you want?
Please don’t kill me.
At least they were humanoid
bipeds, not spiders or octopi or big-eyed blobs, although something about the
articulation of the limbs was disturbingly odd. The smaller two were perhaps
six and a half feet tall, the larger one seven feet, making even the shortest
of them far taller than Ramon. Their torsos were columnar, seemingly of uniform
breadth at hip and waist and shoulder, and surely they must weigh more than
three hundred pounds apiece, although somehow the dominant impression they
created was one of grace and suppleness. Their skins were glossy, shining, but
each had its own distinctive coloration: one was a mottled blue and gold, the
second a pale amber, while the largest one had yellowish flesh covered with
strange, swirling patterns in silver and black.
All wore broad belts hung with
unknown objects of metal and glass, and nondescript halters of some ash-gray
and lusterless material. Their arms were disproportionately long, the hands
huge, the fingers - three fingers, two thumbs - incongruously slender and delicate.
Their heads were set low in a hollow between the shoulders, and thrust a little
forward on thick, stumpy necks, giving them a belligerent and aggressive look, like
snapping turtles. Crests of hair or feathers slanted back from the tops of
their heads at rakish angles. Quills protruded from their shoulders, the napes
of their necks, and the top of their spinal ridges, forming a bristly ruff.
Their heads were roughly triangular, flattened on top but bulging out at the
base of the skull, the faces tapering sharply to a point. And the faces were
faces out of nightmare: large rubbery black snouts streaked with blue and
orange, trembling and sniffing, mouths like raw wet wounds, too wide and
lipless, and small staring eyes set too low on either side of the snout. Orange
eyes, hot and featureless as molten marbles.
Staring at him.
They were staring at him as
though he were a bug, and that fanned a spark of anger inside him. He got to
his feet and glared back at them, still shaky but determined not to show it.
Ramon Espejo knelt to nobody! Especially not to ugly, unnatural monsters like
these!
‘Which one,’ he croaked, coughed,
and began again. ‘Which one of you pinche motherfuckers is paying for my
van?’
The aliens didn’t react to his
words. The large one reached out a strangely articulated arm - a motion that
reminded Ramon of seaweed stirred by some gentle oceanic current. Ramon frowned
as the alien curled what he had to think of as its fingers back toward itself
once, twice, three times. The thing paused and then repeated the movement.
There was something studied about the motion, as though it had been learned by
rote, as though its natural equivalent might be without meaning for humans. A
low thudding boom came from deep below them; a mountainous heart that beat
twice and went silent. Ramon glanced around him. The alien repeated the curling
gesture.
‘You want me to come close to
you?’ Ramon demanded. The great thing’s snout twitched, and the quills on its
head rose and fell. Again, the strange curling motion. Ramon suddenly recalled
a journalist who had come to São Paulo from Kigiake whose only word of Spanish
had been gracias. The alien was the same - a single gesture repeated for
every occasion; employed ubiquitously.
The alien turned away, took a few
inhumanly graceful strides, then shifted its torso back toward Ramon and
gestured again. Follow me. The other two aliens were still as stone except
for the restless twitching of their snouts.
‘I get taken captive by aliens,
and they’re too stupid to talk,’ Ramon said, bravado and anger filling him. ‘Hey,
you. Pendejo. Why the fuck would I follow you, eh? Give me a good
fucking reason.’
The alien stood motionless. Ramon
spat, the sputum vanishing as soon as it struck the black tongue-like platform,
which seemed to absorb it with a slurping noise. Ramon shook his head in
disgust, but in fact there didn’t seem to be anything else for him to do but
follow. He came forward slowly, his footing unreliable on the disturbing wet,
velvety ground, which gave under him with every step, looking warily all around
him, wondering if he should try to run. Run to where, though? And some of the
objects suspended from the alien’s belt were almost certainly weapons . . .
Ahead was a door cut through the
naked rock of the cavern wall, into which the alien disappeared, looking back
once again to make its favorite gesture.
Trying to wear his nakedness like
a suit of clothes, Ramon followed the alien into the darkness. The other two
beasts fell in close behind.
* * * *
CHAPTER SIX
Afterward, Ramon could not clearly remember that trip. He was led
through tunnels barely wide and tall enough to allow the alien to pass. The
tunnels slanted steeply up and down, and doubled back on themselves, seemingly
at random. The rock was slightly phosphorescent, providing just enough light to
let him see his footing. He refused to look behind at the following shapes,
although his nerves were crawling like worms.
The silence was heavy here in the
belly of the hill, although occasionally a far-away hooting could be heard
through many thicknesses of rock, sounding to Ramon like the noise damned souls
might make crying unheeded to a cold and distant God. Sometimes they passed
through pockets of light and activity, rooms full of chattering noise and rich
rotten smells, rooms drenched in glaring red or blue or green illumination,
rooms dark as ink but for the faint silver line of the path they followed. Once
they stood motionless for long moments in such a room, while Ramon’s stomach
dropped and he wondered if they could be in an elevator.
Each chamber they passed through
seemed more surreal than the last. In one, things that looked like oversized
spiders lay in a clump in the center of what looked like a sluggishly moving
pool of glowing blue oil. Another high-ceilinged chamber teemed with aliens,
swarming over terraced layers of strange objects on the cavern floor.
Equipment, perhaps, machines, computers, although most things here were so
unfamiliar that they registered only as indecipherable blurs, weird amalgams of
shape and shadow and winking light. Far across the cave, two giant aliens -
similar to his three companions, but fifteen or twenty feet tall - labored in
gloom, lifting and stacking what looked like huge sections of honeycomb, moving
with ponderous grace, as unreal and hallucinatorily beautiful as stop-motion
dinosaurs in old horror movies. To one side, a smaller alien was herding a flow
of what looked like spongy molasses down a stairstep fall of boulders, touching
the flowing mass occasionally with a long black rod, as if to urge it along.
It was too much to take in. Ramon’s
conscious mind was spinning too fast in desperate attempts to make sense of
what he saw. The nightmare walk became an interminable series of
incomprehensibilities. A great gray tentacle reached out from one wall,
caressing the alien before him, and then dropped to the ground and slithered
away like a snake. A scent like cardamom and fried onions and rubbing alcohol
filled the air and vanished. The deep throbbing booms that he had heard earlier
filled the air at intervals that seemed to have no pattern, though Ramon found
himself slowly learning to anticipate them.
Away from the chambers, in the
tunnels, it was close and dark and silent. The lead alien’s back gleamed pale
and faint in the phosphorescent glow of the rock, like a fish in dark water,
and, for a moment, it seemed to Ramon as if the markings on its flesh were
moving, writhing and changing like living things. He stumbled, and
instinctively clutched the alien’s arm to keep from falling. Its skin was warm
and dry, like snake skin. In the enclosed space of the tunnel, he could smell
the alien; it had a heavy, musky odor, like olive oil, like cloves, strange
rather than unpleasant. It neither looked behind nor paused nor made a sound.
The three aliens continued to walk on imperturbably, at the same steady pace,
and Ramon had no choice but to follow after them or be left alone in the chilly
darkness of this black alien maze.
At last, they came to a stop in
another garishly lit chamber, Ramon almost walking into the wide back of the
alien in front of him. To the human eye, there was something subtly wrong about
the proportions and dimensions of the chamber: it was more a rhombus than a
rectangle, the floor was slightly tilted, the ceiling tilted at another angle and
not of uniform height, everything subliminally disorienting, everything off,
making Ramon feel sick and dizzy. The light was too bright and too blue,
and the chamber was filled with a whispering susurrus that hovered right at the
threshold of hearing.
This place had not been made by
human beings, nor was it meant for them. As he entered the chamber, he saw that
the walls streamed with tiny, crawling pictures, as though a film of oil was
continuously flowing from ceiling to floor and carrying with it a thin scum of
ever-changing images: swirls of vivid color, geometric shapes, mazy impressionistic
designs, vast surrealistic landscapes. Occasionally, something recognizable
would stream by: representations of trees, mountains, stars, tiny alien faces
that would seem to stare malignly at Ramon out of the feverdream chaos as they
poured down to be swallowed by the floor.
The alien who’d escorted him
gestured him forward. Gingerly, Ramon crossed the chamber, feeling uneasy and
disconcerted, unconsciously leaning to one side to correct the tilt of the
floor and putting his feet down cautiously, as though he expected the chamber
to pitch or yaw.
In the center of the chamber was
a deep circular pit, lined by metal, and at the bottom of the pit was another
alien.
It was even taller than Ramon’s
guides, and much fatter, the lower part of its body bloated to four or five
times the circumference of the other aliens, and its crest and quills were much
longer. Its skin was maggot-white, and completely free of markings. White with
age? Dyed white as an indication of rank? Or was it of a different race? Impossible
to say, but as the alien’s eyes turned upward toward Ramon, he was seized and
shaken by the force behind its gaze, by the harsh authority it exuded. He
noticed, with another little shock, that the creature was physically connected
to the pit - things that might have been wires or rods or cables emerged from
its body and disappeared into the smooth metal walls, forming an intricate cat’s
cradle around it. Some of the cables were black and dull, some were luminescent,
and some, glossy red and gray and brown, pulsed slowly and rhythmically, as if
with an obscene life of their own.
The hot orange eyes considered
him. Ramon felt his nakedness acutely, but refused to bend to this alien’s will
even to cover himself. The great pale head shifted.
‘Noun,’ the alien said. ‘Verb
form. Identifier. Semantic placeholder. Sense of identity.’
Ramon stared at the alien,
fighting to keep surprise from his face. It had spoken in Spanish (Ramon also
spoke some English and Portuguese and French, as well as, of course,
Portuglish, the bastard lingua franca of the colony), and quite clearly,
though its voice was disturbingly rusty and metallic, as though a machine had
spoken. How in hell had it learned a human language? ‘What the fuck are you
saying?’ Ramon said. ‘By holy Jesus, what do you want?’
‘Idiomatic vulgarity. Religious
fear,’ the alien said, and then, with something that sounded like disappointment,
‘Unflowing.’ The great beast shifted in its web of wires and cables, its
swollen abdomen rippling as if with a life of its own.
Ramon felt his gorge rise. ‘What
do you want from me?’
‘You are man,’ the beast intoned.
‘Yes, I’m a fucking man. What did
you think I was?’
‘You lack tatecreude. You
are a flawed thing. Your nature is dangerous and tends to aubre.’
Ramon spat on the ground. The
arrogance of its harsh, unused voice and the steady gaze of those orange,
unblinking eyes made Ramon angry. In times of stress - when he had lost his
first van in a drunken bet, when Lianna had finally left him, when Elena threatened
to throw him out - Ramon’s rage had never deserted him. Now it returned,
flushing him with heat and certainty. ‘What are you, you creatures?’ he
said. ‘Where do you come from? From this planet? Somewhere else? What do you
think you’re doing, attacking me, keeping me here against my will? And what
about my van, eh? Who’s going to get me a new van?
Suddenly, the absurdity of the
situation struck him. Here he was in an alien hive, locked away in the middle
of a mountain, surrounded by demons. And he was bitching about his van! He had
to fight down the urge to laugh, fearing that once he started he would be
unable to stop.
The alien was staring at him
wordlessly. ‘If you want to talk, talk sense,’ Ramon rasped. Anger gave him a
sense of power and control that he knew was at odds with the truth. Any small
thing that kept his mind his own, however, was precious. ‘You don’t like what I
am, you can show me the way out of this shithole.’
The great pale alien seemed to
take a moment to consider Ramon’s words. Its snout lifted as if it was tasting
the air. ‘Those are sounds, not words,’ the alien said after a long pause. ‘Discordances
outside proper flow. You must not speak in meaningless sounds, or you will be
corrected.’
Ramon shivered and looked away;
his rage had ebbed as quickly as it had flared, and now he felt tired, chilled
by the alien’s imperturbability. ‘What do you want from me?’ he asked wearily.
‘We do not “want” anything,’ the
alien said. ‘Again, you speak outside the way of reality. You have a function:
therefore, you exist. You will exercise that function because it is your
purpose to do so, your tatecreude. No “wanting” is involved: all is
inevitable flow. You are man. You will flow in the pathways in which a man
would flow. As he is of you, our path to him will be carved clean. You will
fulfill your function.’
The creature’s voice seemed to be
growing clearer as it spoke, as if every word brought it a greater understanding
of Ramon’s language. He wondered how long he’d have to talk to the thing before
it took on a Mexican accent and started cussing. ‘And if I do not function as
you wish?’ Ramon asked.
The alien paused, as though
briefly puzzled. ‘You live,’ it said finally. ‘Therefore, you exercise your
function. Nonfunctioning, you could not exist. To exist and yet not exist -
you would be a contradiction, aubre, a disruption in the flow. Aubre cannot
be tolerated. To restore balanced flow, it would be necessary to deny the
illusion that you exist.’
That at least was clear enough,
Ramon thought, feeling gooseflesh sweep across his skin. He chose his words
carefully when he spoke again. ‘And what function am I to fulfill?’
The cold orange eyes fixed on him
again. ‘Take care,’ the alien warned. ‘That we must interpret your tatecreude
for you is a sign that you incline toward aubre. But we will grant
you a dispensation, as you are not a proper creature. Listen: a man has escaped
from us. Three days ago he fled from us, and we have not been able to find him.
By this act, he has shown himself to be aubre, and so proved that he
does not exist. The illusion of his existence must therefore be negated. The
man must not be allowed to reach a human settlement, to tell other humans about
us. Should he do so, that would interfere with our own tatecreude. Such
interference is gaesu, prime contradiction. Therefore you will find
him, negate him, in order to restore balanced flow.’
‘How am I supposed to find him if you could not?’
‘You are man. You are the same.
You will find him.’
‘He could be anywhere by now!’
Ramon protested.
‘Where you would go and where he
would go - they are the same. You will go where he has gone, and you will find
him.’
Ramon considered that.
‘So you mean there’s a man out
there who found you and got away, and now you want me to help you catch him
before he can get back to civilization? You want me to hunt for you? Is that
what you’re saying?’
The thing in the cables
considered this.
‘Yes,’ it said.
‘And why the fuck would I
do that?’
The deep, awesome booming sound
rose from the depths of the planet below. Ramon was reminded again where he
was, and to what sort of creature he was speaking. A sense of vertigo washed
through him. The great alien didn’t seem to notice his distress.
‘You are imbued with purpose,’ it
said, almost patiently. ‘Your heart beats. You exchange gasses. You do so for a
purpose. To be and yet be without purpose is contradictory. Your language is
flawed in that it can express illusory states. Your purpose is to aid in locating
the man. If you are without purpose, the illusion of your existence must be
rectified.’
Well, Ramon thought, that was clear
enough. Hunt or die. The answer was simple. He would lie. He had no intention
of playing Judas goat for these demons, but likewise he would never be able to
break away from them as long as he was ass-deep in their mountain. If he could
make his way to the open air, there was at least hope. A chilling thought
struck him.
‘How long did you keep me here?’
he asked. ‘Is it still summer out there, because tracking some mad fucker in
winter isn’t going to work.’
The beast was silent. Ramon grew
impatient. If the time he had spent in darkness had been long enough for the
seasons to change, escape from the aliens would be suicide. The weather would
kill him as effectively as a knife in the ribs.
‘How long was I in that fucking
vat?’
‘Three days,’ the thing said
without hesitation.
Ramon felt a stab of fear,
sharper for being unexpected.
‘The man you want tracked down.
That’s how long he’s been running? All the time I’ve been here?’
The alien paused for a long
moment, before its deep, hoarse voice answered.
‘Yes.’
This far to the north, there was
no way it could be coincidence; Ramon had been followed. Some poor fucker from
the constabulary had come north after him, searching for the European’s killer,
and instead had walked into this scene from Hell. Ramon couldn’t help imagining
it - a Diegotown cop, or maybe one of the governor’s own security agents,
making his stealthy way toward Ramon’s camp only to find scorched ground, twisted
plastic, and these monsters flying from the great metal wall he had uncovered.
Had the bastard had time lo call for help? No satellites reached this far
north, but the police had radio they could bounce off the atmosphere. Had the
aliens destroyed the policeman’s van as they had Ramon’s?
Ramon had been poor all his life,
and, like most poor people, the instinct to be afraid of the police had been
burned into his soul. The thought that they had been so close to him as to fall
into the same alien snare brought the coppery taste of panic to Ramon’s mouth.
And yet, his logical mind told him that the constabulary was his best hope
now. Usually the last thing he’d want to see were the police, but there were
situations dire enough, like this one, when even somebody like him, who had
frequently run afoul of the law, would be damn glad to see the cops coming over
the hill. If word could get as far as Fiddler’s Jump, aid would come. The
military forces of the colony. Ramon had to hope that the man who had been set
to follow him was as good at fleeing as he’d been at shadowing him.
And if the cavalry came, and
Ramon was freed, what then? He had killed the European. Would the governor
still be hot to have Ramon hanged for it? Or would his part in discovering the
alien nest win him amnesty? He was trapped between the Devil and the deep blue
sea.
‘Alright,’ Ramon said. ‘You want
the guy found, I’ll find him for you. He’s no friend of mine.’ He rubbed his
chin shrewdly. It wouldn’t do to give in too easily, though. Even things as
strange as these might recognize that as subterfuge. ‘If I do this thing for
you,’ he asked slyly, ‘what do I get out of it?’
The alien stared at him for
several long moments, long enough that Ramon began to fear that he had overplayed
his hand. ‘You are an improper and contradictory creature. Aubre may
manifest in you. We will insure against such manifestations by accompanying
you.’
‘You? All of you?’
‘We. Not-we. Your language is
flawed, it admits contradiction where none exists. We will separate part of the
whole. Maneck will sacrifice himself to maintain the flow. Maneck is we, and
not-we. Maneck will accompany you and watch over you. Through him, your tatecreude
will be protected.’
Well, the thought that the aliens
would send him out alone into the bush, trusting him to keep to the task they
had assigned, was one that had always been too good to be true. But the fact
that there would be only a single guard was a blessing. Two or three of the
things would have been difficult to evade. More than that, impossible. Only
one, however…
The alien who had led him here
moved silently to Ramon’s side. It was eerie - nothing so big should be so
quiet.
‘Maneck, eh?’ Ramon said to the
thing. ‘Your name’s Maneck? I’m Ramon Espejo.’
While Ramon was still wondering
if he should attempt to shake hands with it, Maneck abruptly reached out and
took him by the shoulders, lifted him like a doll, and held him immobile in the
air. Ramon fought instinctively - nights at the bar and in the street coming
back to his arms and legs in a rage. He might as well have punched the ocean.
Maneck didn’t budge.
Up from the pit rose a pale white
snake.
Ramon watched in horrified
fascination. It was obviously a cable of some sort - two bare wires protruded
from the visible end - but its movements were so supple and lifelike that he
could not help but think of it as a pale and sinister cobra. It reared almost
to eye-level, swayed slowly from side to side, and aimed its blind pallid head
at Ramon. The head quivered slightly, as though the snake was testing the air
in search of its prey. Then it stretched out toward him.
Again Ramon tried desperately to
break free, but Maneck wrenched him effortlessly back into position. As the
cable-snake came closer, he saw that it was pulsating rhythmically, and that
the two naked wires in its head were vibrating like a serpent’s flickering
tongue. His flesh crawled and he felt his testicles retract. He felt his
nakedness vividly now - he was unprotected, helpless, all of the soft
vulnerable parts of his body exposed to the hostile air.
‘I’ll do it!’ Ramon shrieked. ‘I
said I’d do it! You don’t have to do this to me! I’ll help you!’
The cable touched the hollow of
his throat.
Ramon felt a sensation like the
touch of dead lips, a double pinprick of pain, a flash of intense cold. An odd
quivering shock ran up and down his body, as though someone were tracing his
nervous system with feather fingers. His vision dimmed for a heartbeat, then
came back. Maneck lowered him to the ground.
The cable was now embedded in his
neck. Fighting nausea, he reached up and took hold of it, feeling it pulse in
his hands. It was warm to the touch, like human flesh. He pulled at it
tentatively, then tugged harder. He felt the flesh of his throat move when he
tugged. To rip it free would obviously be as difficult as tearing off his own
nose. The cable pulsed again, and Ramon realized that it was pulsing in time to
the beating of his heart. As he watched, it seemed to darken slowly, as if it
were filling with his blood.
He saw with horror that the
opposite end of the cable had somehow linked itself to the alien that had held him,
blending into its right wrist. Maneck. He was on a leash. A hunting dog for
demons.
‘The sahael will not
injure you, but it will help to resolve your contradictions,’ the thing in the
pit said, as if sensing his distress but failing to understand it. ‘You should
welcome it. It will help to protect you from aubre. Should you manifest aubre,
you will be corrected. Like this.’
Ramon found himself on the floor,
though he did not remember falling. Only now that the pain had passed could he
look back at it and realize that it had been the worst pain he had ever
experienced, as a swimmer turns to look back at a wave that has passed over his
head. He didn’t remember screaming, but his throat was raw, and it almost
seemed as if the echo of his shriek was still reverberating from the chamber
walls. He caught his breath, and then retched. He knew that he would do
whatever was required to prevent that from happening again, anything at all,
and for the first time since he woke in darkness, Ramon Espejo felt truly
ashamed.
I will kill you all, Ramon
thought. Somehow, I will cut this thing out of my throat, and then I will come
and kill you all.
‘School yourself,’ the pale alien
said. ‘Correct aubre, and even such a flawed thing as yourself may
achieve cohesion or even coordinate level.’
It took Ramon some time to
realize that this gibberish had been a dismissal: a stern but kindly
admonition, hell fire threatened, the prospect of redemption dangled, and go
forth and sin no more. The sonofabitch was a missionary!
Maneck lifted Ramon back to his
feet and nudged him toward a tunnel. The fleshy leash - the sahael - shrank
to match whatever distance was between them. Maneck made a sound that he couldn’t
interpret and apparently gave up gentle coaxing. The alien moved briskly
forward, the sahael tugging now at Ramon’s throat. He had no choice but
to follow, like a dog trotting at its master’s heel.
And you, mi amigo, Ramon
thought, staring at Maneck’s indifferent back, will be the very first to die.
* * * *
CHAPTER SEVEN
Back through the tunnels they went, through cavern after cavern,
through rhythmic noise, billowing shadow, and glaring blue light. Ramon walked
leadenly, like an automaton, pulled along by Maneck, the tether in his neck
feeling heavy and awkward. The chill air leached the heat from his body, and
even the work of walking wasn’t enough to keep him warm.
As he stumbled along, in the
privacy of his mind, Ramon searched for hope.
How long would it be before Elena
noticed his absence? Months, at least. Or she might think he’d gone off again,
down to Nuevo Janeiro without her, to file his reports and collect his fees and
keep his money for himself. Or run off on a drunken spree with some other
woman. Rather than start a search for him, she was more likely to work herself
into a blind rage and go fuck some hairy prospector from a bush bar or rum
shack in revenge. Likewise, Manuel Griego would expect him to be in the field
for three or four weeks at the least. Ramon silently berated himself for
talking about hunting and his fantasy of disappearing into the Sierra Hueso to
live off the land. Manuel might assume he wasn’t coming back at all, especially
if he suspected (as he probably did) that Ramon knew that the cops were after
him.
The only ones who would look for
him was the law, and the law would have followed him with public execution in
mind.
There was no one. That was the
truth. He had lived his life on his own terms - always on his own terms - and
here was the price of it. He was on his own, hundreds of miles from the nearest
human settlement, captured and enslaved.
If he was going to get out of
this, he would have to find his own way out.
Maneck tugged at the sahael and
Ramon looked up, aware for the first time that they had stopped. The alien
thing pushed a bundle into his arms. Clothes.
The clothes were a sleeveless
one-piece garment, something like pajamas, a large cloak, and hard-soled
slipper-boots, all made from a curious lusterless material. He pulled them on
with fingers stiff from cold. The aliens were obviously not used to tailoring
for humans; the clothes were clumsily-made and ill-fitting, but at least they
afforded him some protection against the numbing cold. It wasn’t until his
nakedness was covered and warmth began to return to his limbs that his teeth
began to chatter.
Maneck led him down a bright
white passageway to another great, high-vaulted chamber. Things the color and
size of aphids swarmed across the floor, bumping into each other and into his
legs, singing incomprehensible gibberish in high, sweet voices. In the center
of the room squatted a bone-colored box like the one that had destroyed his
van. As they drew near, Ramon saw that the thing was not solid. Instead a
million tiny strands of dripping white and cream made a webwork of slats that
shifted to create an opening and then close it behind them.
The interior of the box was
likewise only half solid - a wide low bench that appeared intended for Maneck’s
barrel-like form and also a smaller area set into the wall where Ramon himself
might sit, legs pulled up to his chest.
Ramon waited leadenly while
Maneck examined the box, leaning in to run its long slender fingers carefully
over the controls. He could feel himself becoming dazed and passive, numbed by
weariness and shock - he’d been through too much, too fast. And he was tired,
more tired than he could remember being before; perhaps the shot they’d given
him, glucose or adrenaline or whatever it had been, was wearing off. He was
almost asleep on his feet when Maneck seized him, lifted him into the air as if
he was a little child, and stuffed him into the box. He struggled to sit up,
but Maneck seized his arms, drew them behind his back, and bound them with a
thin length of wire-like substance, then hobbled his legs, before turning and
sitting down before the controls. Maneck touched a pushplate, and the box rose
smoothly into the air.
Acceleration pushed Ramon’s head
sideways, pinning it at an uncomfortable angle. In spite of the terror of his
situation, he realized that he was unable to stay awake any longer. Even as
they rose toward the high-domed cavern roof, his eyes were squeezing shut, as
though the mild g-forces that pulled with mossy inevitability on his bones were
also drawing him inexorably into sleep.
Above them, the rock opened.
As Ramon’s consciousness faded,
drowning him in hissing white snow, he saw, beyond the hole in the stone, a
single pale and isolate star.
* * * *
A freezing wind lashed him awake. He struggled to sit up. The box
lurched to the left, and he found himself looking through the spaces between
the woven slats straight down through an ocean of air at the tiny tops of the
trees. The box canted over the other way, violently, and the darkening evening
sky swirled around his head, momentarily turning the faint, newly-emerged stars
into tight little squiggles of light.
They leveled off. Maneck sat
behind the box’s control panel unshakably, firm and cold as a statue, quills
rippling in the bitter wind. Banking again, they fell at a slant through the
air. He couldn’t have been insensible for more than a minute or two, Ramon
realized; that was the aliens’ mountain just behind them, the exit-hole now
irised shut again, and that was the mountain slope where he’d been captured,
just below. Even as they coasted down toward the slope, the sky was growing
significantly darker. The sun had sunk beneath the horizon some moments before,
leaving only the thinnest sliver of glazed red along the junction line of land
and air. The rest of the sky was the color of plum and eggplant and ash, dying
rapidly to an inky blackness overhead and to the west. Armed and bristling
with trees, the mountain slope rushed up to meet them. Too fast! Surely they
would crash…
They touched down lightly in the
middle of an alpine valley, settling out of the sky as silently as a feather.
Maneck killed the box’s engine. Darkness swallowed them, and they were
surrounded by the sly and predatory noises of evening. Maneck seized Ramon,
and, lifting him like a rag doll, dragged him from the box, carried him a few
feet away, and dropped him to the ground.
Ramon groaned involuntarily,
startled and ashamed by the loudness of his voice. His arms were still bound
behind him, and to lie upon them was excruciatingly painful. He rolled over
onto his stomach. The ground under him was so cold that it was comfortable, and
even in his sick and confused condition, Ramon realized that meant death. He
thrashed and squirmed, and managed to roll himself up in the long cloak he’d
been given; it was surprisingly warm. He would have fallen asleep then, in
spite of his pain and discomfort, but light beat against his eyelids where
there had been no light, and he opened his eyes.
The light seemed blinding at
first, but it dimmed as his eyes adjusted. Maneck had brought something from
the box, a small globe attached to a long metal rod, and jammed the sharp end
of the rod into the soil; now the globe was alight, burning from within with a
dim bluish light, emitting rhythmic waves of heat. As Ramon watched, Maneck
walked around the globe - the sahael shortening visibly with each step -
and came slowly toward him with seeming deliberation. Only then, watching
Maneck prowl toward him, seeing the wet gleam in the corner of its orange eyes
as it looked from side to side, seeing the way its nose crinkled and twitched,
the way its head swiveled and swayed restlessly on the stubby neck, the
shrugging of its shoulders at each step, hearing the iron rasp of its breath,
smelling its thick musky odor - only then did some last part of Ramon’s mind
fully accept the fact that he was its captive, alone and at its mercy in the
wilderness.
That simple knowledge hit Ramon
with such force that he felt the blood begin to drain from his face, and even
as he was worming and scrambling backward in a futile attempt to get away from
his captor, he was losing his grip on the world, losing consciousness, slipping
down into darkness.
The alien stood over him, seen
again through the hazy white snow of faintness, seeming to loom up endlessly
into the sky like some horrid and impossible beanstalk, with eyes like blazing
orange suns. That was the last thing Ramon saw. Before the snow piled up over
his face and buried him, and everything was gone.
* * * *
Morning was a blaze of pain. He had fallen asleep on his back, and
he could no longer feel his arms. The rest of his body ached as though it had
been beaten with clubs. The alien was standing over him again - or perhaps it
had never moved, perhaps it had stood there all night, looming and remote,
terrible, tireless, and unsleeping. The first thing Ramon saw that morning,
through a bloodshot haze of pain, was the alien’s face; the long twitching
black snout with its blue and orange markings, the quills stirring in the wind
and moving like the feelers of some huge insect.
I will kill you, Ramon thought once again. There
was very little anger in it. Only a deep, animal certainty. Somehow, I will
kill you.
Maneck hauled Ramon to his feet
and set him loose, but his legs would not hold him, and he crashed back to the
ground as soon as he was released. Again Maneck pulled him up, and again Ramon
fell.
As Maneck reached for him the
third time, Ramon screamed, ‘Kill me! Why don’t you just kill me?’ He wormed
backward, away from Maneck’s reaching hand. ‘You might as well just kill me
now!’
Maneck stopped. Its head tilted
to one side to regard Ramon curiously in an oddly birdlike manner. The cool
orange eyes peered at him closely, unblinking.
‘I need food,’ Ramon went on, in
a more reasonable tone. ‘I need water. I need rest. I can’t use my arms and
legs if they’re tied like this. I can’t even stand, let alone walk!’ He heard
his voice rising again, but couldn’t stop it.
‘Listen, puto, I need to piss! I’m a man, not a machine!’
With a supreme effort, he heaved himself to his knees and knelt there in the
dirt, swaying. ‘Is this aubre? Eh? Good! Kill me, then! I can’t go on
like this!’
Man and alien stared at each
other for a silent moment. Ramon, exhausted by his outburst, breathed in
rattling gasps. Maneck studied him carefully, snout quivering. At last, it
said, ‘You possess retehue?
‘How the shit would I know?’
Ramon croaked, his voice rasping in his dry throat. ‘What the fuck is it?’ He
drew himself up as much as he could, and glared back at the alien.
‘You possess retehue,’ the
alien repeated, but it was not a question this time. It took a quick step
forward, and Ramon flinched, afraid that the death he’d demanded was on its
way. But instead, Maneck cut him free.
At first, he could feel nothing
in his arms and legs; they were as dead as old wood. Then sensation flooded
back into them, burning like ice, and they began to spasm convulsively. Ramon
set his face stoically and said nothing, but Maneck must have noticed and
correctly interpreted the sudden pallor of his skin, for it reached down and
began to massage Ramon’s arms and legs. Ramon shrunk away from its touch -
again he was reminded of snakeskin, dry, firm, warm - but the alien’s powerful
fingers were surprisingly deft and gentle, loosening knotted muscles, and Ramon
found that he didn’t mind the contact as much as he would have thought that he
would; it was making the pain go away, after all, which was what really
counted.
‘Your limbs have insufficient
joints,’ Maneck commented. ‘That position would not be uncomfortable for me.’
It bent its arms backward and forward at impossible angles to demonstrate. With
his eyes closed, Ramon could almost believe that he was listening to a human
being - Maneck’s Spanish was much more fluent than that of the alien in the
pit, and its voice had less of the rusty timbre of the machine. But then Ramon
would open his eyes and see that terrible alien face, ugly and bestial, only
inches from his own, and his stomach would turn over, and he would have to
adjust all over again to the fact that he was chatting with a monster.
‘Stand up now,’ Maneck said. It
helped Ramon up, and supported him while he limped and stomped in a slow
semi-circle to work out cramps and restore circulation, looking as if he was
performing some arthritic tribal dance. At last, he was able to stand unsupported,
although his legs wobbled and quivered with the strain.
‘We have lost time this morning,’
Maneck said. ‘This is all time we might have employed in exercising our
functions.’ Ramon could almost imagine that it sighed. ‘I have not previously
performed this type of function. I did not realize that you possessed retehue,
and therefore failed to take all factors into account. Now we must suffer
delays accordingly’
Suddenly, Ramon understood what retehue
must be. He was more baffled than outraged. ‘How could you not realize that
I was sentient? You were there all the while I talked to the white thing in the
pit!’
‘We were present, but I had not
integrated yet,’ Maneck said simply. It did not elaborate further, and Ramon
had to be content with that. ‘Now that I am, I will observe you closely. You
are to demonstrate the limitations to the human flow. Once we are informed, the
man’s path is better predicted.’ It gestured around them. ‘Here is the last of
places the man was known,’ it said. Its voice was deep and resonant. Ramon
could almost think that the thing sounded sorrowful. ‘We will begin here.’
Ramon looked around. Indeed,
there were signs of a small, improvised camp. A tiny lean-to hardly big enough
to sleep in had been constructed with fresh boughs and tied together with
lengths of bark. A fire pit ringed by stone showed ashes where the lawman had
cooked something at the end of a fire-hardened stick. Whoever they’d sent after
Ramon had spent enough time in the field to know how to survive with what came
to hand. Good for him.
Maneck stood silent by the
bone-colored box, the thick fleshy sahael attached to its arm. Ramon
looked at it, waiting to see what strategy the thing would adopt. The alien,
however, did nothing. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Ramon
cleared his throat.
‘Monster. Hey. Now we’re here,
what is it you want me to do, eh?’
‘You are a man,’ Maneck said. ‘Behave
as he would behave.’
‘He’s got tools and clothes, and
he doesn’t have a leash on,’ Ramon said.
‘Your confluence will be
approximate at the beginning,’ Maneck said. ‘This is expected. You will not be
punished for it. Your needs will lead you to a matched flow. That is
sufficient.’
‘Speaking of needs and flowing,’
Ramon said, ‘I got to piss.’
‘That will do,’ Maneck said. ‘Begin
by achieving piss.’
Ramon smiled.
‘You stay here, then, I’ll go
achieve piss.’
‘I will observe,’ Maneck said.
‘You want to watch me piss?’
‘We are to explore the banks
which bound the man’s possible channels. If this task is a necessity of his
being, then I will understand it.’
Ramon shrugged.
‘You’re just lucky I’m not shy
about this kind of thing,’ Ramon said, walking to the nearest tree. ‘There’s
some men couldn’t get a drop out, not with you watching them, eh?’
The ground was rough, and Ramon’s
feet were tender. The long bath in the alien gel seemed to have softened away
all his calluses. As he relieved himself against the tree trunk, he tried to
make sense of the alien’s behavior. The limitations of human flow, it had said.
For a being so impatiently concentrated on pragmatic results, Maneck was
strangely interested in Ramon’s need to urinate, which ought to have struck it
as irrelevant. It wasn’t an activity that seemed important to hunting the
fugitive. But it had not known that binding his arms behind him would
discomfort him, either. Perhaps the aliens needed him to understand what the
habits of a man were. He was more than a hound. Merely by being human, he
was a guide for them.
Ramon stood for a long moment
after his bladder was empty, taking the opportunity to turn his mind to
strategy. He could not refuse the aliens. The demonstration of the pain his
leash could deliver had convinced him of that. But there was a long history of
labor protests in which things simply took a longer time and more materials
than expected. Slowdowns. Ramon might have to be on the job for these devils,
but he didn’t have to be a good worker. He would move slowly, explain the fine
points of pissing and shitting and hunting and trapping for as long as Maneck
would allow it. Every hour Ramon could waste was another one that the lawman
had to make his return to civilization and send help back. How things would
unfold once that had happened, Ramon didn’t know.
He shook his penis twice as long
as was truly required, then let the robe drop back down to cover his knees.
Maneck’s great head shifted, but whether this was a sign of approval or
disgust, Ramon had no way to tell.
‘You are complete?’ Maneck asked.
‘Sure,’ Ramon said. ‘Complete
enough for the moment.’
‘You have other needs?’
‘I’ll need to find fresh water to
drink,’ Ramon said. ‘And some food to eat.’
‘Complex chemical compounds which
can be harvested of their potential to facilitate flow and prevent pooling,’
Maneck said. ‘This is mehiban. How will you manufacture this?’
‘Manufacture? I’m not going to
make it. I’m going to catch it. Hunt for it. What is it you devils do?’
‘We consume complex chemical
compounds. These are ae euth’eloi. Made things. But the oekh I
have would not nourish you. How do you obtain food? I will allow you to procure
it for yourself.’
Ramon scratched his arm and
shrugged.
‘Well, I’m going to kill
something. I’d try making a sling, maybe killing a flatfur or dragonjay, but I’ve
got this fucking thing in my neck. You wouldn’t want to take it out of me, just
long enough I can show you how this is done?’
Maneck stood unresponsive as a
tree.
‘Didn’t think so, monster. It’s
trapping, then. It might take a little longer, but it will do. Come on.’
In fact, the fastest and easiest
thing would have been to gather up sug beetles as he had the other night. He
had seen a few even this deep under the forest canopy. Or a half-hour of
gathering would have gotten him enough mianberry to make a small meal; this far
north, you could pick them off the trees by the handful. Feeding off the land
wasn’t hard. The amino acids that had built up the biosphere of São Paulo were
almost all identical to those on earth. But that would have been simple, and
would have allowed them to move quickly on to whatever the next phase of their
hunt would be. So instead, Ramon taught the alien how to trap.
His equipment had, of course,
been destroyed with his van. If the thought had truly been that he should catch
his dinner easily and well, that would have enraged him. Since his intention
now was to stall, it only made him peevish. The bastard things had destroyed
his van, after all.
Ramon scrounged through the
underbrush for the raw material of a snare: whipvine, a few longish sticks
seasoned enough to break but green enough to bend first, a handful of San Iganacio’s
nut equivalent - a sticky bole that smelled of honey and resin - to act as
bait. He was annoyed to find that all this hurt his fingers, which had been as
tough as old leather; the syrup bath in which the aliens had soaked him must
have melted away the calluses on his hands as well, leaving his fingers
ill-prepared for real work. Through it all, Maneck watched in silence. Ramon
found himself explaining the process as he went. The pressure of the thing’s
unspeaking regard made him jumpy.
When at last Ramon had the snares
in place, he led Maneck back into the underbrush to wait for some unsuspecting
animal to happen by. It was unlikely to take long; the animals this far north
were naive, unfamiliar with traps, never having been hunted by humans before,
and so were easy to catch. Still, he would stall for as long as he could before
checking the traps.
They sat well in among the
branches, Maneck watching him with what seemed sometimes like profound
curiosity, sometimes like impatience, but was likely an emotion Ramon had never
felt or heard named.
‘The food-thing comes to you to
be ended?’ Maneck said in its sad, sonorous voice.
‘Not if you keep making a fucking
racket,’ Ramon whispered. ‘It isn’t as if we’re getting its consent first.’
‘It is unknowing? This is niedutoi?
‘I don’t know what that means,’
Ramon said.
‘Interesting,’ Maneck said. ‘You
understand purpose, and killing, but not niedutoi. You are a disturbing
creature.’
‘That’s what they tell me,’ Ramon
said.
‘Under what circumstances do you
kill?’
‘Me?’
Maneck was silent. Ramon felt a
stab of annoyance at the thing for spoiling the hunt, even as he reminded
himself that it was all a play for time. He sighed.
‘Men kill for all sorts of
reasons. If someone’s going to kill you, you kill them first. Or if they’re
fucking your wife. Or sometimes men will be so poor they have to rob someone
for money. That can go too far. Or if someone declares war, then soldiers go
and kill each other. Or sometimes…sometimes you just walk into the wrong bar
and start acting like a cabron where the wrong bastard can hear you, and
he kills you for it.’
For a moment, he was back in the El
Key. He couldn’t recall anymore what precisely it was the European had said
that started things. The details were all misty and uncertain, like a
half-remembered dream. There had been a pachinko machine, its tiny steel balls
bouncing crazily against the network of pins. And a woman with straight, black
hair. It hadn’t been anything the man had said to Ramon. No one had liked the pendejo.
Everyone had wanted to crack the man’s ass the other way, but Ramon had
been the one to do it.
Why did you kill him?
Ramon shivered. Maneck’s steady
gaze seemed to peer into his soul, as if every truth and lie in Ramon’s long,
sorry life were written on his face. A sudden rush of shame possessed him.
‘You have declared war on the
food-thing,’ Maneck intoned and Ramon’s sudden guilt vanished. Maneck no more
understood him than a dog could read a news feed. With an act of will, he
refrained from laughing.
‘No,’ Ramon said. ‘It’s just an
animal. I need food. It is food. It’s not killing, only hunting.’
‘The food-thing is not killed?’
‘Yes, okay. Fine. You kill
animals to eat them if you need food,’ Ramon said. Then a moment later. ‘And
also if they’re fucking your wife.’
‘I understand,’ the alien said
and lapsed into silence.
They waited as the sun rose
higher in the perfect blue sky. Maneck ate some of his oekh, which
turned out to be a brown paste the consistency of molasses with a thick vinegary
scent. Ramon scratched at the place in his neck where the sahael anchored
in his flesh, and tried to ignore the emptiness of his belly. The hunger grew
quickly, though, and, in spite of his good intentions about stalling as long
as he could, it was less than two hours later when he rose and walked out to
check his catch - two grasshoppers (almost identical to the locusts of Earth,
but warm blooded and able to nurse their young from tiny, fleshy nipples at the
joints of their carapace), and a gordita, one of the fuzzy round
marsupials that the colonists called ‘the little fat ones of the Virgin’. The gordita
had died badly, biting itself in its frenzy. Its spiky fur was already
black with thick, tarry blood. Maneck looked on with interest as Ramon removed the
animals from the snares.
‘It is difficult to think of this
as having anything to do with food,’ it said. ‘Why do the creatures strangle
themselves for you? Is it their tatecreude?
‘No,’ Ramon said as he strung the
bodies on the length of carrying twine. ‘It’s not their tatecreude. It’s
just something that happened to them.’ He found himself staring at his hands as
he worked, and, for some reason, his hands made him uneasy. He shrugged the
feeling away. ‘Don’t your people hunt for food?’
‘The hunt is not for food,’
Maneck said flatly. ‘The hunt is wasted on creatures such as these. How can
they appreciate it? Their brains are much too small.’
‘My stomach is also too small,
but it will appreciate them.’ He stood up, swinging the dead animals
over his shoulder.
‘Do you swallow the creatures
now?’ Maneck asked.
‘First they must be cooked.’
‘Cooked?’
‘Burned, over a fire.’
‘Fire,’ Maneck repeated. ‘Uncontrolled
combustion. Proper food does not require such preparation. You are a primitive
creature. These steps waste time, time which might be better used to fulfill
your tatecreude. Ae euth’eloi does not interfere with the flow.’
Ramon shrugged. ‘I cannot eat
your food, monster, and I cannot eat these raw.’ He held the carcasses up for
inspection. ‘If we are to get on with me exercising my function, I need to make
a fire. Help me gather sticks.’
Back at the clearing, Ramon
improvised a bow-starter and started a small cookfire. When the flames were
crackling well, the alien turned to look at Ramon. ‘Combustion is proceeding,’
it said. ‘What will you do now? I wish to observe this function cooking.’
Was that an edge of distaste in
the alien’s voice? He suddenly had a flash of how odd the process must seem to
Maneck: catching and killing an animal, cutting its pelt off and pulling out
its internal organs, dismembering it, toasting the dead carcass over a fire,
and then eating it. For a moment, it seemed a grotesque and ghoulish thing to
do, and it had never seemed like that before. He stared down at the gordita in
his hand, and then at his hand itself, sticky with dark blood, and the subtle
feeling of wrongness he’d been fighting off all morning intensified once again.
‘First I must skin them,’ he said resolutely, pushing down the uneasiness, ‘before
I can cook them.’
‘They have skin already, do they
not?’ Maneck said.
Ramon surprised himself by
smiling. ‘I must take their skin off. And their fur. Cut it off, with a knife,
you see? Way out here, I’ll just throw the pelts away, eh? Waste of money, but
then grasshopper pelts aren’t worth much anyway.’
Maneck’s snout twitched, and it
prodded at the grasshoppers with a foot. ‘This seems inefficient. Does it not
waste a large portion of the food, cutting it off and throwing it away? All of
the rind.’
‘I don’t eat fur.’
‘Ah,’ Maneck said. It moved up
close behind Ramon and sank to the ground, its legs bending backward
grotesquely. ‘It will be interesting to observe this function. Proceed.’
‘I need a knife,’ Ramon said.
When Maneck said nothing, he added, ‘The man would have a knife.’
‘You will require one also?’
‘Well, I can’t do this with my
teeth,’ Ramon said.
Wordlessly, the alien plucked a
cylinder from its belt and handed it to Ramon. When Ramon turned it over in
bafflement, Maneck reached across and did something to the cylinder, and a
six-inch silver wire sprang out stiffly. Ramon took the strange knife and began
gutting the gordita. The wire slid easily through the flesh. Perhaps it
was the hunger that focused Ramon so intently on his task, because it wasn’t
until he had set the gordita on a spit over the fire and begun on the
first grasshopper that he realized what the alien had done.
It had handed him a weapon.
The thing had made its mistake.
Now it would die for it.
He fought the sudden rush of
adrenaline, struggling to keep the blade from wobbling in his hands, to keep
his hands from shaking. Bent over the careful task of digging out the
grasshopper’s rear gills, he glanced at Maneck. The alien seemed to have
noticed nothing. The problem was, where to strike it? Stabbing it in the body
was too great a risk; he didn’t know where the vital organs were, and he couldn’t
be sure of striking a killing blow. Maneck was larger and stronger than he was.
In a protracted fight, Ramon knew, he would lose. It had to be done swiftly.
The throat, he decided, with a rush of exhilaration that was almost like
flying. He would slash the knife as deep across the alien’s throat as he could.
The thing had a mouth and it breathed, after all, so there had to be an air
passage in the neck somewhere. If he could sever that, it would only be a
matter of remaining alive long enough for the alien to choke to death on its
own blood. It was a thin chance, but he would take it.
‘Look here,’ he said, picking up
the body of the gordita. With its legs and scales cut away, its flesh
was soft and pink as raw tuna. Maneck leaned closer, as Ramon had hoped, its
eyes trained on the dead flesh in his left hand, ignoring the blade in his
right. The heady elation of violence filled him, as if he was in the street
outside a bar in Diegotown. The monsters didn’t know that this thing they’d
captured knew how to be a monster too! He waited until Maneck turned its head a
little to the side to better squint at the gordita, exposing the mottled
black-and-yellow flesh of its throat, and then he struck -
Abruptly, he was sprawled on his
back on the ground, staring up into the violet sky. His stomach muscles were knotted,
and he was breathing in harsh little gasps. The pain had hit him like a stone
giant’s fist, crumpled him and thrown him aside. It had been over in an
eyeblink, too quick to be remembered, but his body still ached and twitched
with the shock. He had dropped the knife.
You fool, he thought.
‘Interesting,’ Maneck said. ‘Why
did you do that? I pose you no danger, and so you need not defend yourself. I
am not food for you, and so you need not kill me to eat. You have not declared
war upon me. I have not gone to a bar, nor do I have money. I have not fucked
your wife. And still you experience a drive to kill. What is the nature of that
drive?’
Ramon would have laughed if he
could; it was comic and tragic and deserving of his despairing rage. I le
levered himself up to sitting. Blood was smeared on his hands and chest from
writhing on the corpse of the gordita.
‘You…’ Ramon began. ‘You knew.’
Maneck’s quills rose and fell.
The evil, implacable orange of its eyes seemed to glow in the soft light that
filtered through the forest canopy.
‘The sahael participates
in your flow,’ it said. ‘It will not permit actions on your part that would
interfere with your tatecreude. You cannot harm me in any fashion.’
‘You can read my mind, then.’
‘The sahael can prevent
action that is aubre before the action takes place. I do not understand “read
my mind”.’
‘You know what I am thinking! You
know what I’m going to do before I do it.’
‘No. To drink from first
intentions would disturb the flow and affect your function. It is only when
your intention expresses aubre that you are corrected.’
Ramon wiped his eyes with the
back of his hand.
‘So you can’t tell what I’m
thinking, but you can tell what I’m going to do?’
Maneck considered him in silence,
and then said, ‘Every movement is a cascade from intent to action. The sahael
drinks from far up the cascade. The intention to act precedes the action,
so you cannot act before I am aware of the action you are taking. Attempts to
harm me cannot be completed, and will be punished. You are a primitive being
not to know this.’ It tilted its head to stare more closely at him. ‘Please
return to the issue at hand. What is the nature of that drive? Why do you wish
to kill me?’
‘Because a man is supposed to be
free,’ Ramon said, pushing ineffectually at the thick fleshy leash at his
throat. ‘You’re holding me prisoner!’
The alien shifted its head from
one side the other, as if the words meant nothing to him and were literally
falling from its ears. Maneck lifted him easily and set him on his feet. To
Ramon’s shame and humiliation, the alien gently placed the wire knife back in
his hand.
‘Continue the function,’ Maneck
said. ‘You were flaying the corpse of the small animal.’
Ramon turned the silver cylinder
slowly, shaking his head. He was unmanned. He could no more defeat this thing
than an infant child could best his father. He was so little threat to it that
it would hand him a weapon with total unconcern. He felt the urge to drive the
knife into his own chest and end this humiliation, but he pushed the thoughts
away before the sahael could exact its punishment.
He sharpened a small stick using
the alien knife, impaled the small bodies upon it, and held the raw meat over
the flame. In the beginning, he kept the gordita and the grasshoppers
far enough back that the cooking went slowly, but as the scent of grease and
cooked meat woke his own belly, he let the branch dip.
The thin, stringy meat tasted
better than Ramon had remembered - salty and a rich, earthy taste. When he had
stripped the small corpses to their thin yellow bones, he wiped his hands on his
robe and stood up.
‘Let’s go. I have to find fresh
water.’
‘The seared flesh is not
sufficient?’
Ramon spat.
‘I can live for weeks without
food,’ he said. ‘No water, and I’ll die in days.’
It rose and let Ramon lead the
way through the forest to a cold rushing stream, foaming white as it broke over
streambed rocks. This far north, the glaciers fed the streams and eventually
the great river, the Rio Embudo, that passed through Fiddler’s Jump. As he
squatted, cupping the numbing cold water to his lips, he imagined setting a
message in a bottle to bob its way down to civilization. Trapped by
monsters! Send help! He might as well plan to make a flock of flapjacks fly
him back to Diegotown. Dreaming was no better than dreaming.
He wiped his mouth with the back
of his hand and sat back.
‘This is all then?’ Maneck said. ‘Consume
dead flesh and water. Emit piss. These are the channels that constrain the man?’
‘Well, he’ll have to take a dump
sometimes. Like pissing, sort of. And he’ll sleep.’
‘You will do these things,’
Maneck said.
Ramon stood, turning back toward
the camp and the flying box. The alien followed him.
‘You can’t just command those
things,’ Ramon said. ‘It’s not like I’m some kind of pinche machine that
you can press a button and I fall asleep. Things come in their own time.’
‘And the dumping?’
Ramon felt a surge of rage. The
thing was an idiot; he was enslaved by a race of morons.
‘It comes in its own time too,’
Ramon said.
‘Then we will observe the time,’
Maneck said.
‘Fine.’
‘While we observe, you will
explain free.’
Ramon paused, looking back over
his shoulder. Light dappled the alien’s swirling skin, an effect like camouflage.
‘You will kill to be free,’
Maneck said. ‘What is free?’
‘Free is not with a fucking thing
sticking into my neck,’ Ramon said. ‘Free is able to do what I want when I want
without having to dance to anyone’s fucking tune.’
‘Is this dance customary?’
‘Christ!’ Ramon yelled, wheeling
on his captor. ‘Free is being your own goddamn man! Free is not answering to
anybody for anything! Not your boss, not your woman, not the pinche governor
and his pinche little army! A man who’s free makes his own path where he
wants to make it, and no one can stand in the way. No one! Are you too fucking
stupid to understand that?’
Ramon was breathing hard as if he’d
been running, his cheeks hot with blood. The hot orange eyes shifted over him.
The sahael pulsed once, and a shudder of fear ran through Ramon - the
presentiment of pain that never came.
‘Free is to be without
constraint?’
‘Yes,’ Ramon said, mincing the
words as if he were speaking to a child he disliked. ‘Free is to be without
constraint.’
‘And this is possible?’ it asked.
Thoughts and memories flickered
through Ramon’s mind. Elena. The times he’d had to scrape by without liquor in
order to make the payment on his van. The police. The European.
‘No,’ Ramon said. ‘It’s not. But
you aren’t a real man if you don’t try. Come on. You’re holding me back. If you’re
going to keep this fucking thing in me, the least you can do is keep up when I
walk.’
At the camp, Ramon lapsed into
silence, and the alien allowed him that. It seemed thoughtful and introspective
itself, as far as one could judge that in a creature that looked the way it
did. As the day shifted toward night, Ramon did indeed feel the call to relieve
himself, and was humiliated as the alien looked on.
‘How about dinner, eh?’ Ramon
said briskly afterward, trying to shake off his shame. ‘More food? It’s too
late to go on today anyway.’
‘You’ve just emptied your bowels,’
Maneck said. ‘Now you will fill them up again?’
‘That’s what it is to be alive,’
Maneck said. ‘Eating and shitting, they never stop until you’re dead. Dead men
don’t shit, or eat, but living men have to, or they soon stop living.’ A thought
struck him, and he glanced slyly at the alien. ‘The man will have to eat
too. The man you’re chasing. You may as well learn how he’ll do it. I’ll show
you how to fish.’
‘He will not set snares? As you
did earlier?’
‘He will,’ Ramon said. ‘But he’ll
set them in the water. Here. I’ll show you.’
Once the alien understood what
Ramon needed, it cooperated. They rigged a crude fishing pole from a thin, dry
limb snapped off a nearby iceroot and - after a tedious consultation with
Maneck, who took a long time to understand what Ramon wanted - a length of
pale, soft, malleable wire supplied by the alien. A stiffer sort of wire was
shaped into a hook, and Ramon stamped along the shore turning over rocks until
he found a fat orange gret beetle to use for bait. Maneck’s snout twitched with
sudden interest as Ramon impaled the insect.
Ramon led the alien to a likely
looking spot on the side of the stream and dropped the line. As he fished, Ramon
stole glances at Maneck from time to time. The alien stood and watched the
water. For all the impatience it sometimes showed about getting on with their
task, it seemed perfectly content to stand there, immobile and untiring, for
as long as it might take. Halfway across the stream, Ramon glimpsed a flash of
blue as a fish leapt from the water, but nothing took his bait. Never the most
patient of men, he began to grow restive. To occupy the time, he began to
whistle a silly little tune that Elena had taught him early in their time
together, before the fighting had grown so bad. He could not remember the words
that went with it, but that didn’t matter. The song made him think of Elena,
her long dark hair and her quick hands, callused by endless hours in her little
vegetable garden. She was a small dark woman, very pretty, though her face was
dotted with the craters left by some childhood disease. Sometimes Ramon would
trace the marks with his fingertips, unconsciously, and then Elena would look
away. ‘Stop,’ she would say, ‘stop, you remind me of how ugly I am.’ And then,
if he hadn’t had too much to drink, he would say, ‘No, no, they’re not so bad,
you are very beautiful.’ But Elena would never believe him.
‘What is that sound you are
making?’ Maneck demanded, shattering Ramon’s reverie.
He frowned. ‘I was whistling, monster.
A little song.’
‘Whistling,’ the alien repeated. ‘Is this
another language? I do not understand, although I hear a structure, an
ordering. Explain the meaning of what you were saying.’
‘I wasn’t saying anything,’
Ramon said. ‘It was music. Your people, they don’t have music?’
‘Music,’ Maneck said. ‘Ah.
Ordered sound. I comprehend. You derive pleasure from the sequencing of
certain patterns. We don’t have music, but it is an interesting mathematical
function. To order that which is random enhances the flow. You may resume
whistling music, man.’
Ramon did not accept the alien’s
invitation. He pulled in his line and threw it in again. The first cast brought
up something Ramon had never seen. That wasn’t odd - there were new creatures
caught in the nets at Diegotown and Swan’s Neck every week, so little yet was
known about São Paulo. This was a bloated, gray bottom dweller whose scales
were dotted by white, vaguely pustulent nodules. It hissed at him as he pulled
the hook free, and, with a sense of disgust, he threw it back into the water.
It vanished with a plop.
‘Why did you throw the food away?’
Maneck asked.
‘It was monstrous,’ Ramon said. ‘Like
you.’
He found another beetle, and they
resumed their watch on the river as night slowly gathered around them. The sky
above the forest canopy shifted toward the startling violet of the São Paulo
sunset. Auroras danced green and blue and gold. Watching them, Ramon felt for
an instant the profound peace that the open wilderness always gave him. Even
captive and enslaved, even with his flesh pierced by the sahael, the
immense, dancing sky was beautiful and a thing of comfort.
A few minutes later, Ramon
finally caught a fat, white bladefish with vivid scarlet fins. As he hauled it
out of the water, he caught sight of Maneck’s curiously watching face, and
shook his head. ‘You don’t have music and you don’t eat real food,’ he mused. ‘I
think you are a very sad sort of creature. What about sex? Do you have that
much, at least? Do you fuck, what about that? Are you a boy or a girl?’
‘Boy,’ the alien said, ‘girl.
These concepts do not apply to us. Sexual reproduction is primitive and
inefficient. We have transcended this.’
‘Too bad,’ Ramon said. ‘That’s
taking transcendence too far! Still, at least I suppose that means I don’t have
to worry about you sneaking into the lean-to with me tonight, eh?’ He grinned
at the look of incomprehension on the alien’s face, and walked back to camp,
Maneck pacing silently at his side. There, he quickly rebuilt the cook fire,
and roasted the fish gently, briefly wishing he had some garlic or habenaro
powder to rub on it. Still, the flesh was warm and succulent, and when he had
eaten his fill, and smoked some strips of the fish and wrapped them in hierba
leaves for the next day, he sat back on his heels and yawned. He felt very
full and oddly contented despite his perilous situation and inhuman companion.
There were no more questions, no
more obscure demands. When at last his body began to feel heavy, he pulled
himself into the rough lean-to that the policeman had made, cradled his head on
his arms, and let himself drift, always half-aware that the thing was nearby
and watching.
Let it watch him. Every hour it
spent here with him was another chance for the stranger who had been Ramon’s
pursuer and was now his prey. The man who the aliens hadn’t made into a puppet.
Who hadn’t killed the European.
The one who was still free.
* * * *
CHAPTER EIGHT
The next day dawned cold and clear. Ramon woke slowly, drifting
into consciousness so gradually that he was never quite sure when he passed the
dividing line between sleep and wakefulness. Even when he had come fully awake,
he remained very still, wrapped in his cloak, savoring the sounds and smells of
morning. It was snug and warm within the folds of his alien garment, but the
outside air was crisp and chilly on his face, and fragrant with the distinctive
cinnamon-tang scent of the iceroot forest. Ramon could hear the rush and gurgle
of the nearby stream, the whistling calls of small ‘birds’ up with the sun,
and, off in the distance, the odd booming cry of a descamisado returning
to its lair in the trees after a long night of hunting.
Although his body ached from
sleeping on the hard, stony ground and his bladder was full enough to be
painful, Ramon was reluctant to stir. It was peaceful lying there; peaceful and
familiar. The discomforts were old friends. How many times had he woken alone
in the forest like this, after a hard day of prospecting? Many, he thought. Too
many to count, too many to recall.
It was almost possible to pretend
that this was just another morning like all those others, that nothing had
changed, that it had all been a bad dream. He held that thought closely for a
while, reluctant to release it. It was a lie, but it was a comforting lie, so
he took his time in waking. He opened his eyes carefully, and found himself
staring off through the opening of the lean-to toward the west. The tall
iceroots seemed to have an azure glow playing about their tops, where dawn had
broached them. Beyond them, to the far southwest, he saw a handful of bright
stars, fading now as the sun came up: Fiddler’s Bow, the distinctive northern
constellation from which Fiddler’s Jump took its name, since that was the
southernmost point from which the Bow could be seen. He watched until the last
bright star had been swallowed by the sky, then he stirred, and the illusion
of safety and normality died as he felt the sahael pull against the soft
flesh of his throat. Ramon pushed himself reluctantly to a sitting position.
Maneck still stood outside the lean-to, beads of dew on its swirling, oil-sheen
skin. Its quills were stirring in the morning wind; seemingly, it hadn’t moved
since he had gone to sleep, standing still as a stone, watching him throughout
the night. Ramon suppressed a shiver at the thought.
As Ramon groaned and climbed to
his feet, he saw that the alien’s eyes were open, and said, ‘What, monster? You
waiting for something?’
‘Yes,’ it said. ‘You have
returned to a functional state. Sleep is now complete?’
Ramon scratched his belly under
the robe and yawned until he felt his jaw might dislocate. Twigs and scraps of
leaf had found their way into the lean-to and knotted themselves in his hair.
He combed them out with his fingers. Other than that, the shelter had been
solid - well-crafted, dry, and just the right size. The policeman had even left
a layer of iceroot fronds under the bedding to reflect up the heat of his body
in the night. He’d spent some time in the wild.
‘The sleep is now complete?’ the
alien repeated.
‘I heard you the first time,’
Ramon said. ‘Yes, the sleep is fucking complete. Your kind, they do not sleep
either, eh?’
‘Sleep is a dangerous state. It
takes you outside the flow. It is an unnecessary cessation of function. The
need for sleep is a flaw in your nature. Only inefficient creatures need to be
unconscious half their lives.’
‘Yeah?’ Ramon said, yawning, ‘Well,
you should try it sometime.’
‘The sleep is complete,’ Maneck
said. ‘It is time to start fulfilling your function.’
‘Not so fast. I’ve got to piss.’
‘You made piss before.’
‘Well, I’m an ongoing fucking
process,’ Ramon said, misquoting a priest he’d heard once preaching in the
plaza at Diegotown. The sermon had been about the changing nature of the soul,
the man who was delivering it red-faced and sweaty. Ramon and Pauel Dominguez
had thrown sugared almonds at him. It wasn’t something he’d thought of in
years, and yet he could recall it now as clearly as if it had happened moments
before. He wondered whether the alien goo in which he’d been incarcerated might
have done something to his memory. He had heard that men waking from stasis
sometimes suffered episodes of amnesia or powerful dislocation.
Now, standing before a
mesh-barked pseudopine and pissing at its base, Ramon found more strange rushes
of memory returning to him. Martin Casaus, his first friend when he’d come to
Diegotown, had lived in a two-room apartment by the port with butter-yellow
bamboo flooring that peeled up at the corners. They’d gotten drunk there every
night for a month, singing and sucking down beer. Martin had told him stories
about being out in the forest working as a trapper, tricking a chupacabra into
a spear pit with fresh meat, and Ramon had made up sexual exploits from his
time in Mexico, each one more lurid and improbable than the last. Martin’s
landlady had come once and threatened to have them both arrested, and Ramon had
exposed himself. He remembered the old woman’s shocked expression, the way her
hands had fluttered, unsure whether his penis was an insult to her or a threat.
It was like seeing a recording of it, a flashback powerful as the experience
and then gone again and only a memory.
Ramon scratched his belly idly,
fingertips moving over the smooth curve of his skin. Poor old Martin. He
wondered what had happened to the bastard. Nothing, he had to imagine, worse
than what he himself was going through now.
‘You don’t piss either, do you?’
Ramon said, shaking the last drops from his penis.
‘The voiding of waste is
necessary only because you ingest improper foods,’ Maneck replied. ‘Oekh
provides nourishment without waste. It is so designed, in order to increase
efficiency. Your food is full of poisons and inert substances that your body
cannot absorb. This is why you must make piss and dump. This is primitive and
unnatural.’
Ramon chuckled. ‘Primitive,
maybe,’ he said, ‘but you are the one who goes against nature! We are
animals, both of us. Animals sleep, and eat other animals, and shit, and fuck.
You do none of those things. So who is the unnatural one, eh?’
Maneck looked down on him. ‘A
being possessed of retehue has the capacity to be more than an animal,’
it said. ‘If an ability exists, it must be used. Therefore you are
unnatural, because you cling to the primitive although you possess the ability
to transcend that state.’
‘Clinging to the primitive can be
a lot of fun,’ Ramon started to say, but Maneck, who seemed to be growing
impatient, cut him off. ‘We have begun with making piss,’ it said, ‘and we have
returned to this place in the cycle. We are now prepared. You will enter the yunea.
We will proceed.’
‘Yunea?’
Maneck paused.
‘The flying box,’ it said.
‘Oh. But I need to eat still. You
can’t have a man go without breakfast.’
‘You can continue for weeks
without food. This is what you reported in the night.’
‘Doesn’t mean I’d want to,’ Ramon
said. ‘You want me working at my best, I’ve got to eat. Even machines need to
be refueled to work.’
‘No more delays,’ Maneck said,
fingering the sahael ominously. ‘We go now.’
Ramon considered objecting,
claiming that there was some further biological function that humanity required
- he could spit for an hour or two, just to take more time. But Maneck seemed
resolute, and he didn’t want it to resort to the sahael in order to get
him to obey.
‘Okay, okay, I’m coming. Just
wait a second.’
Ramon had done what he could for
the policeman. Any bastard who’d come out to arrest him should be fucking
grateful for what he’d done so far! Ramon snatched up the leaf-wrapped strips
of smoked fish he’d prepared the night before and followed the alien back to
its bone-white box. A cold breakfast in transit would have to do.
His belly lurched as the strange
ship took to the air. They flew south and west. Behind them to the north were
the tall peaks of the Sierra Hueso, their upper slopes now obscured by wet,
churning gray cloud - it was snowing back there, behind, above. South, the world
widened and flattened into forested lowland, then tilted down toward the
southern horizon, steaming and slopping like a soup plate, puddled with marshes
on the edge of sight. Also on the edge of sight, from up here only a thin
silver ribbon in a world of green and blue and orange trees and black stone,
was the Rio Embudo, the main channel of the great river system that drained the
Sierra Hueso and all the north lands. Hundreds of kilometers to the southwest,
Fiddler’s Jump sat high on its rocky, red-veined bluffs above the same river,
its ramshackle wooden hotels and houses full of miners and trappers and
lumberjacks, its docks crowded with ore barges and vast log floats soon to be
launched downstream to Swan’s Neck. It was there, to the safety and lights and
raucous humanity of Fiddler’s Jump, that the policeman was almost surely
headed.
How would he do it? Anybody who
could construct a lean-to as well as the policeman had would have no trouble
constructing a raft out of the materials ready to hand. Once he reached the Rio
Embudo and built his raft, he’d be off down the river to Fiddler’s Jump; much
easier and faster than walking through the thick, tangled forest. It was where he
would have gone and what he would have done had he been stranded out
here without a van, desperate and alone. And he was sure that the policeman
would do the same. The aliens had been smart to use him as their hunting dog
after all - he did know what the policeman would do, where he would go.
He could find him.
How long would he have to stall
to give the policeman time to get away? Could he have reached the river yet?
From the foothills of the Sierra Hueso, it was a long way on foot through rough
terrain. On the other hand, a number of days had gone by ... It would be close.
Below them now was another thick
forest of iceroot, tall gaunt trees with translucent blue-white needles like a
million tiny icicles. They flew on. Here a great tower-of-Babel hive had pushed
up through the trees, the strange metallic-looking insects, like living
jewelry, swarming up to menace them in defense of their queen as they passed. A
clearing empty but for the wide, six-legged carcass of a vaquero - the
horse-like body half-eaten by a chupacabra and left to rot. The iceroots
again. They were circling. How did Maneck intend to find the policeman?
‘What are we looking for?’ Ramon
called over the sound of the wind rushing past them. ‘You can’t see anything
from up here. You got sensors on this thing?’
‘We are aware of much,’ Maneck
said.
‘We? I’m not aware of a fucking
thing.’
‘The yunea participates in
my flow, the sahael participates. It is your nature that you must fail
to participate. That is why you are an occasion of great sorrow. But it is your
tatecreude, and therefore it is to be accepted.’
‘I don’t want to participate in
your goddam flow,’ Ramon said. ‘I just asked if you had some kind of sensors on
this thing. I wasn’t asking if you put out on the first date.’
‘Are these noises needed?’ Maneck
asked. If Ramon had had any faith that the aliens experienced emotions that a
human being might comprehend, he would have said that the thing sounded
annoyed. ‘The search is the expression - ’
‘Of your tatecreude, whatever
the fuck that is,’ Ramon said. ‘Whatever you say. Since I’m not able to do this
flow thing, maybe this is the best thing I can do, eh? Make some friendly
conversation?’
The quills on Maneck’s head rose
and fell rapidly. Its thick head jounced from one side to another. It turned to
him, and the slats of the bone-pale box thickened, the sound of wind lessening.
‘You are correct,’ Maneck said. ‘This spitting of air is the primary
communication available to you. It is right that I should attempt to engage
your higher functions to aid you in avoiding aubre. And if I better
understand the mechanism of an un-coordinated self, the nature of the man will
also become clearer.’
‘That half sounded like an
apology, monster,’ Ramon said.
‘This is a strange term. I have
not fallen into aubre. I have no reason to express regret.’
‘Yeah, fine. Be like that.’
‘But if you wish to speak, I will
participate in this fashion. I do indeed have sensors. They are of the nature
of the yunea as the drinking of your flow is of the nature of the sahael
or the management and direction of this form,’ and the alien gestured at
itself, ‘is mine. The man, however, is much like the other creatures, and
discovering the channels which he has been bound into is subtle.’
Ramon shrugged.
Their best bet of catching the
policeman was to head west for the Rio Embudo, get well south of where he could
have reached on foot, and then wait there by the riverside until the bastard
came floating by on his raft, but if the alien didn’t see it that way, Ramon
felt no particular impulse to enlighten his captor. If the alien wanted to
swing uselessly back and forth all day like a missionary’s balls, Ramon was
fine with that.
‘What are you going to do with
the poor fucker when you catch him?’
‘Correct the illusion of his existence,’
Maneck said. ‘To be observed cannot happen,’ Maneck said. ‘The illusion
that it has happened is prime contradiction, gaesu, the negation
of reality. If we were to be seen, we would not be what we are, we would never
have been what we are. That which cannot be found cannot be found.
This is contradiction. It must be resolved.’
‘That doesn’t make sense. The
man, he’s already seen you.’
‘He is still within illusion. If
he is prevented from reaching his kind, the information cannot diffuse. He will
have been corrected. The illusion of his existence will have been denied. If he
is real, however, we cannot be.’
Ramon unwrapped the hierba leaf,
sucked the meat from his strip of smoked fish, then dropped the empty bone on
the slats at his feet.
‘You know, monster, to make as
little sense as you, I have to drink for half a night.’
‘I do not understand.’
‘That’s the point, cabron.’
‘Your consumption of liquid
affects your communication? Was your time at the camp insufficient to express
this?’
‘That was river water,’ Ramon
said, impatiently. ‘Liquor. I mean, drink liquor. I’ve got the only
devil in hell that’s never heard of hard drink!’
‘Explain to me hard drink.’
Ramon scratched his belly. The
smooth skin under his fingertips seemed momentarily odd. How could he explain
drinking - really drinking - to a thing with a half-crazed devil’s mind?
‘There’s a thing. It’s a liquid,’
Ramon said. ‘It’s called alcohol. You get it from things fermenting.
Fermenting. Breaking down. Potatoes make vodka, and grapes make wine, and grain
makes beer. And when you drink it, when a man drinks it ... it lifts him up out
of himself. You understand? All the things he’s supposed to be, they don’t
bother him so much any more. All the petty fucking shit that ties him up, it
lets loose a little. Piss. I don’t know. This is like telling a virgin what it’s
like to fuck.’
‘It loosens bindings,’ Maneck
said. ‘It makes you free.’
Memory assaulted Ramon again; the
world vanished.
He was fourteen, two long years
stretching out before him until he would elect to join a job gang and get off
Earth. August brought thunderstorms to the mountains of Mexico, great white clouds
that went gray-black at the base. Having come down from his tiny cliff top pueblo,
Ramon was living in an older boy’s shack in a squatters’ village on the north
slope of a mesa near Mexico City.
The day of his memory, he’d been
sitting on the misshapen mass of rotten wood and worn plastic that he and the
older boy jokingly called their front porch, watching the clouds form and rise
toward the sky. The storm would reach them by night, Ramon had guessed. He was
trying to judge whether the shack could withstand another hard storm or if it
would collapse under wind and water when the older boy appeared, sauntering
down the thin street of mud and rocks that separated one line of hovels from
the next. He had a girl with him, his arm around her waist. He had a bottle in
the other.
Ramon didn’t ask where he’d found
either of them. He remembered the astringent fire of the gin, the fascination
and repulsion of listening to the older boy and the girl fuck while he sat
outside drinking and counting the seconds between lightning flashes and
thunder. By the time the rain came, the older boy had passed out, and Ramon,
drunk, had split the last of the gin with the girl and she’d let him fuck her
too. The wind had rattled the walls. Rain leaked in, running down the windows
in rivulets while he bent over her, thrusting, and she looked away.
It was the best night Ramon
remembered having on Earth. Possibly the best night he’d had since. He couldn’t
remember the older boy’s name now, but he could see the mole on the girl’s
neck, just above her collarbone, the scar on her lip where it had split badly
once and healed strangely. He only ever thought of her when he was drinking
gin, and he preferred whiskey.
Maneck’s arm touched his
shoulder, steadying him. Ramon batted it away without thinking. ‘There was
turbulence,’ Maneck said. ‘You gained focus, but its reference was obscure.’
‘I remembered something,’ Ramon
said. ‘That’s all. One time when I was drinking. When it made me free.’
‘Ah. Fidelity continues to
increase. This is an excellent thing. Your tatecreude gains focus. But
you are still unflowing.’
‘Yeah, and you’re still fucking
ugly. You wanted to know about drinking hard liquor. Here. Hard liquor makes a
man able to stand the things he can’t stand. It makes him free the way nothing
else can. When a man’s drunk, it’s like being alone. Everything’s possible.
Everything’s good. It’s like having lightning in your hands. There’s nothing
that makes a man feel so complete.’
‘So hard drink is good. It
increases flow pathways and focuses intention. It makes freedom, and this is
among the man’s central desires. To drink is to express virtue.’
In the alleyway, the European sat
down, hand to his belly. The crowd drew back. Ramon felt again the cold sense
of having been betrayed by them.
‘It’s got its good points,’ he
said. ‘Why are you asking me all these damn questions? Aren’t you supposed to
be hunting someone down?’
‘I wish to participate in you,’
the alien said. ‘You cannot sense flow. These words are your only channel.’ The
thing sounded like the ship psychiatrist from Ramon’s jump out. Ramon lifted
his hands, palm out, pushing the thing’s attention away.
‘I’m tired of talking,’ Ramon
said. ‘Leave me the fuck alone.’
‘You may require a period of
assimilation,’ Maneck agreed, as if they were talking about a lift tube that
needed tuning. The alien turned away. Ramon leaned against the thin white slats
of the box, peering out over the shimmering orange and black sea of leaves
below them. If he hadn’t been drunk, he probably wouldn’t have killed the
European. He would never have come out so far, the constabulary silently on his
heels.
But to be in Diegotown and not be
drunk was unthinkable. As well tell him to fly a van without fuel or dig a mine
by hand. It was how he could stand people. Ramon was a drinker, and a good one,
but the bottle didn’t control him. When he was here, out in the world, alone
and away from the press of humanity, he didn’t need the whiskey, so he didn’t
drink it. A single bottle could last him a month in the field, and half a night
in the city. He wasn’t a drunk. That was his proof of it.
* * * *
The first sign he had that something had changed came when the
flying box stopped suddenly, hovering silently in the air as if they’d been
hung there by a rope from heaven. Ramon looked down, squinting against the
early evening sun, but the trees below them seemed no different from any of the
other hundred thousand trees they’d flown over.
‘There’s something?’ Ramon
demanded.
‘Yes,’ Maneck answered, but said
nothing more. The flying box descended.
This new camp was larger than the
one they’d left. The lean-to was larger - big enough to sit up in - and a fire
pit made of stones and sand held the remains of several fires. The fugitive
might have remained here for a day if he’d kept the fire going the whole time
or several if he’d only used it to cook. Maneck led the way, moving slowly
across the small clearing, its head swaying back and forth, keeping time to
some slow internal music. Ramon trotted behind, led by his neck. A pile of sug
beetle shells glittered in the dapples of sunlight. A pile of flatfur pelts lay
abandoned, one of them gnawed at and then ignored by some small, toothy
scavenger. The gray-blue butt of a cigarette lay withered beside the lean-to.
How far, Ramon wondered, had the
policeman traveled? Three days the man had been running before Maneck had led
Ramon into the hunt. Another day since. If the man had spent
a single night at the first campsite and two here, that meant he now had only
one day’s lead on them. Ramon silently cursed the cop for dawdling. Everything
depended on the bastard getting to the river, floating away to the south, and
bringing back help. The governor, the police, maybe even the Enye and some
alien security force from the Enye ships that would be arriving any day now.
That would be
best - humanity’s great alien patron species rolling through like moss-covered
boulders and licking Maneck to death.
Ramon chuckled, but the alien
ignored him, continuing its inspection.
There were several places, Ramon
saw, where the policeman had ventured out into the forest, and several where he
had returned. Broken branches and scuffed, turned litter showed it as clearly
as if he’d left signs. This was a base of operations, then. The man had some
plan or thought deeper than simple flight. Perhaps something he was searching
for. Could the constabulary have an emergency beacon hidden somewhere nearby?
It seemed too great a coincidence, but the thought alone was enough to make
Ramon’s heart beat faster. Or perhaps the man was an idiot, and still thought
himself the hunter, and Ramon the game. In which case, Maneck would surely find
him, kill him, and return Ramon to the sickening darkness and noise of the
alien hive, never to be heard from again.
Maneck stopped at the lean-to and
reached down, stirring the leaves the man had used as bedding. Something among
the green and blue leaves tumbled - dirty white and the black-red of old blood.
Maneck leaned forward and made a rapid clicking sound that Ramon interpreted as
pleasure. Ramon scratched his elbow, vaguely uneased by the sense that
something had gone wrong.
‘Que es?’ he asked.
The alien lifted a scrap of cloth
- a shirt sleeve soaked in blood. The cloth was wrinkled and bunched where it
had been tied as a bandage or tourniquet and then hardened as the blood dried.
‘Looks like you hit the poor pendejo
pretty good,’ Ramon said, trying to sound pleased.
Maneck didn’t reply, only dropped
the bandage back into the disturbed litter. It paced off toward the fire pit,
the sahael extending and narrowing, but still pulling Ramon to follow.
Something glittered in the dirt beside the rough, gathered stones of the pit.
Silver and blue. The alien paused, considering it. Ramon walked up to the thing’s
side, and then, divided between wonder and fear, he knelt and put the tips of
his fingers on the cigarette case that Elena had given him.
‘This is mine,’ he said, softly.
‘It’s the artifact of the man,’
Maneck said, as if agreeing.
‘No,’ Ramon said. ‘No, this is mine.
This belongs to me. The police, they couldn’t have got this unless they
found…’
He half-scrambled back to the
lean-to, scooping up the blood-soaked sleeve. The cloth was rough canvas,
designed to last for months in the field. The button at the sleeve’s end was
half-shattered.
‘This is my shirt. The pendejo’s
wearing my shirt!’
Ramon turned to Maneck, a sudden
towering rage roaring in his ears. He waved the bloody cloth in his clenched
fist.
‘Why does that fucking
sonofabitch have my shirt?’
The quills rose and fell on the
huge alien’s crest; its oil-sheened skin swirled. Only the knowledge that the sahael
would visit him with unimaginable pain kept Ramon from attacking it.
‘Answer me!’
‘I do not understand. The garment
with which you were provided - ’
‘Is your shirt,’ Ramon
shouted, plucking at the alien robe. ‘You fucking devils made this. You
make me wear it. This is my shirt. Mine. I wore it from Diegotown. I
bought it. I wore it. It’s mine, and some…some…’
Martin Casaus appeared suddenly
before his mind’s eye, a memory as powerful and transporting as a drug
flashback. Her name had been Lianna, the one he’d told Griego about. She’d been
a cook at the Los Rancheros Grill down by the river. Martin had thought
he was in love with her, and for a week he’d made up poems that started by
comparing her eyes to the stars and ended near dawn and after a bottle of cheap
whiskey, talking about what it would be like to fuck her. Ramon had seen her in
the sleazy all-night bar they all called Rick’s Café Americain even
though there was some other name on the alcohol license.
Ramon had been drunk. He saw her
again, black hair pulled back from an oval face. The lines at the corners of
her mouth. The deep, saturated red of the wallpaper behind her. He’d seen her,
and he’d remembered all the images he’d endured, all the fantasies Martin had
spun of her body. When she’d looked up, caught his eye, it was like water
flowing down hill. He hadn’t had a choice. He’d just gone to her.
Martin, before him now, had the
sheet metal hook in his hand. Ramon dropped the bloody rag at Maneck’s feet,
his hand going to his belly. Martin’s hand had looked flayed and skinless, but
the blood had been Ramon’s. The pain had been hideous, the bleeding so bad,
Ramon had felt it in his crotch and thought he’d pissed himself. He opened the
alien robe, half expecting the Martin of his memory to swing again, to cut him
further, though when it had actually happened, the man had broken down weeping.
Ramon’s fingers touched a smooth,
almost unblemished belly. The thick, knobby scar was gone, only a hairline of
white in its place. He realized now that he’d known it, his fingers had kept
straying to the missing wound, his body knowing better than his mind that
something was missing. The roughness of the alien cloth against his skin, the
calluses gone from his fingertips and feet. Slowly, he pulled back his sleeve.
The scar he’d gotten in the machete fight with Chulo Lopez at the bar outside
Little Dog, the trails of puckered white flesh that Elena’s fingertips opened
and re-opened when they tore at each other during half-crazed sex, were gone.
There were no cigarette stains on his fingers. None of the small nicks and
discolorations and calluses that were the legacy of a lifetime working with one’s
hands. Over the years, his arms had been burnt almost black by the sun, but now
his skin was smooth and unblemished and pale brown as an eggshell. An awareness
half-buried rose in him, and he went cold.
He had not been breathing in that
tank. His heart had not been beating.
‘What did you do to me?’ Ramon
whispered, horror-struck. ‘What the fuck did you do to me? To my body?’
‘Ah! Interesting,’ Maneck said. ‘You
are capable of kahtenae. This may not serve us well. I doubt the man is
capable of multiple integration, and even if he were, it would not produce this
disorientation. You must take care not to diverge. It will not focus your tatecreude
if you become too
much unlike the man.’
‘What are you talking about,
monster?’
‘Your distress,’ Maneck said. ‘You
are becoming aware of who you are.’
‘I am Ramon Espejo!’
‘No,’ the alien said, ‘you are
not.’
* * * *
CHAPTER NINE
Ramon - if he was Ramon - squatted, his elbows resting on
his knees, hands wrapped around his bowed head. Maneck, looming beside him,
explained in its deep, sorrowful voice. The man who had discovered the alien
hive had been Ramon Espejo. There had been no one following him; no constable,
no other van from the south. The discovery of the nest in itself had constituted
contradiction, and in order to correct the illusion that the man existed, he
had been attacked. He had escaped, but not uninjured. An appendage - a finger -
had been torn from him in the attack. That flesh had acted as the seed for the
creation of a made thing - ae euth’eloi - that had participated in the
original being’s flow, and woken with Ramon’s memory and knowledge. Maneck had
to explain twice before Ramon truly understood that it meant him.
‘You participate in his flow,’
Maneck said. ‘All of the whole is present in the fragment, and the fragment may
express the whole. There was some loss of fidelity, and the decision was made
to favor functional knowledge and immediate recall over precise physical
approximation. As you progress, you collapse into the form that shaped the
fragment.’
‘I am Ramon Espejo,’ Ramon
said. ‘And you are a lying whore with breath like a Russian’s asshole.’
‘Both of these things are incorrect,’
Maneck said patiently.
‘You’re lying!’
‘The language you use is not a
proper thing. The function of communication is to transmit knowledge. To lie
would fail to transmit knowledge. That is not possible.’
Ramon’s face went hot, then cold.
‘You’re lying,’ he whispered.
‘No,’ the alien said sadly. ‘You
are a made thing.’
Ramon surged to his feet, but
Maneck didn’t step back. The great orange eyes flickered.
‘I am Ramon Espejo!’ Ramon
shouted. ‘I flew that van out here. I set the charges. Me! I am the one that
did that! I’m not some fucking finger grown in a fucking vat!’
‘You are becoming agitated,’
Maneck said. ‘Contain your anger, or I will use the pain.’
‘Use it!’ Ramon shouted. ‘Go on,
you coward! Are you afraid of me?’ He gathered saliva in his mouth and spit
full into Maneck’s face.
The glob of spittle struck the
alien beneath one eye and ran slowly down the side of its face. Maneck seemed
more puzzled than offended, displaying none of the normal human revulsion. It wiped
the spit away carefully and stared at the wetness of its fingers. ‘What is the
meaning of this action?’ it asked. ‘I sense that this substance is not
venomous. Does it have a function?’
All the fight went out of Ramon,
like air rushing from a pricked balloon. ‘Wipe your face, pendejo,’ he
whispered, and then sank to a crouch, wrapping his arms around his knees. It
was true. He was an abomination. Cold sweat broke out on his forehead, his
armpits, the back of his knees. He was coming to believe what Maneck had said:
he was not the real Ramon Espejo, he wasn’t even really human, he was some
monster born in a vat, an unnatural thing only three days old. Everything he
remembered was false, had happened to some other man, not to him. He’d
never been out of the mountain before, never broken heads in a bar fight,
never made love to a woman. He’d never even met a real human being, in spite of
his memories of all the people he thought he knew.
How he wished he had never come
here, never set that fateful charge! And then he realized that he had not done
any of those things. It had been the other who had done them. All of the
past belonged to the other. He had nothing but the present, nothing but Maneck
and surrounding forest. He was nothing. He was nobody. He was a stranger to the
world.
The thought was vertiginous,
almost unthinkable, and deliberately, with an enormous effort of will, he put
it aside. To think deeply about it would lead to madness. Instead, he
concentrated on the physical world around him, the cold wind in his face, the
clouds scuttling through an ominous indigo sky. Whoever or whatever he was, he
was alive, out in the world, reacting to it with animal intensity. The iceroot
smelled as good as his false memories said that it should, the wind felt as
cool and refreshing as it swept across the meadow; the immense vista of the
Sierra Hueso on the far horizon, sun flashing off the snowcaps on the highest
peaks, was as beautiful as it ever was, and the beauty of it lifted his heart,
as it always did. The body keeps on living, he thought bitterly, even
when we do not wish it to.
He forced the thought from his
mind. He couldn’t afford despair, if he was going to survive. Nothing had
changed, regardless of his origin, whether he’d been grown in a pot like a
chili pepper or popped bloody and screaming out of his mother’s womb. He was
Ramon Espejo, no matter what the alien said, no matter what his hands
looked like. He had to be, because there was no one else to be. What
difference did it make if there was another man out there that also thought
that he was him? Or a hundred such? He was alive, right here and now, in this
instant, whether he was three days old or thirty years, and that was what
mattered. He was alive - and he intended to stay that way.
He looked up at the alien, who
was waiting with surprising patience. ‘How can what you say be true?’ Ramon
said through tight lips. ‘I’m not an ignorant peasant - I know what a clone is.
It’s just a baby that has to grow up, like every baby. It wouldn’t have my
memories. It doesn’t work like that.’
‘You know nothing of what we can
and cannot do,’ Maneck chided, ‘and yet you assert otherwise. You refer to the
creation of a novel individual from a similar gross molecular template. That
process would be development. You are the expression of recapitulation. The
two are dissimilar.’ Maneck paused. ‘The thought fits poorly in your language,
but if you were to gain enough atakka to understand it fully, you would
diverge further from the model. It interferes with our tatecreude.’’
‘My belly. My arm. The scars I
had..’
‘Perfect fidelity was sacrificed.
As time progresses, they will tend toward the forms that express the whole.’
‘I’ll get my scars back?’
‘All of your physical systems
will continue to approximate the source form. The information retrieval is
similarly progressing.’
‘My memory? You’re saying that
all this is fucking with my memory too?’
‘To better approximate is to
better approximate,’ it said. ‘This is self-evident.’
Ramon stared at Maneck. All it
once, he realized why the aliens didn’t have sex. They were grown in vats too,
just like he had been. Maybe they’d been created in the same one! He and this
ugly sonofabitch were brothers, more alike than either of them were like the real
Ramon Espejo.
‘You’ve made me a monster, just
like you,’ he said bitterly, feeling himself beginning to shake again. ‘I’m not
even human anymore!’
The sahael pulsed once, as
if in warning, and Ramon’s belly went cold and tight with fear, but the pain
didn’t come. Instead, to Ramon’s great surprise, Maneck extended one long,
oddly jointed arm and placed his hand awkwardly on Ramon’s shoulder, like a
gesture of comfort copied from a bad description. ‘You are a living creature
possessed of retehue,’ it said. ‘Your origin is of no consequence, and
you should not concern yourself with it. You may still fulfill your tatecreude
by exercising your function. No living being can aspire to more than that.’
This was close enough to his
earlier thoughts to give him pause. He pushed the thing’s arm away and stood
up. The sahael thinned and extended, letting him walk some distance
away. Surprising Ramon again, Maneck made no attempt to follow. At the fire
pit, Ramon sat, taking the cigarette case from the ground, flipping it open. It
was the nearest thing he’d had to a mirror since he’d been lifted from the vat.
His face was smoother than the one he was accustomed to, fewer lines at the
corners of his eyes. The moles and scars were gone. His hair was finer and
lighter. He looked different, unformed. He looked young. He looked like
himself, but also not.
The world threatened to whirl
around him again, and he steadied himself with his hands, his palms against the
solid ground of São Paulo, anchoring himself in reality, anchoring himself in
the present. If what Maneck had revealed was true, if there was another Ramon Espejo
out there, that changed everything. There was no advantage to stalling anymore.
If the other Ramon returned to Fiddler’s Jump, there might be a reaction to his
story of a secret alien base, sure, but neither that other Ramon nor anyone
else would have any idea that he existed. An armed party might come to
follow up, or even attack the aliens, but they wouldn’t be looking for him. Maybe
if he could actually find that other Ramon, though, together they could
somehow turn the tables on the alien. He knew what he himself would have done
if he knew he were being hunted. He would have found a way to kill his
hunters. And that now was Ramon’s only chance. If he could alert the other
Ramon that he was being pursued and trust him to take the right action,
together they might destroy the alien that held his leash. For a moment, he
hoped deeply that what Maneck had said was the truth, that there was another
mind like his own out free in the wilderness. He felt an odd surge of pride in
that other Ramon - in spite of these monsters and all the powers at their
command, he had gotten away from them, fooled them, showed them what a man could
do.
But would the other Ramon help
him, or would he be as horrified by him as he was by the alien? If he helped
the other Ramon escape from his pursuers, surely the other Ramon would be
grateful. Ramon tried to imagine himself turning away someone who had come to his
aid when he was most in need. He didn’t believe it was a thing he would do. He
would embrace this new man like a brother, hide him, help him. Set him up in
business, maybe go into business with him…
Ramon spat.
That was bullshit. No, instead he’d
put a knife between the other Ramon’s - his - ribs, and laugh while the
alien abomination died. And yet, what other choice did he have? The other Ramon
was Maneck’s enemy too. It was a common ground for now, and if there was a way
to kill Maneck and free himself from the sahael, then he could handle
the rest later. The questions of who and what he was, how he’d fit into a world
with another Ramon in it, they’d have to wait. Survival came first. Freedom
from this slavery came first. And the first thing to do was to earn Maneck’s
trust, make him think that he was wholeheartedly cooperating, lull him into a
sense of false security until he could find the chance to put a blade in the
alien’s throat.
The plan, amorphous as it was,
steadied him. If he had a scheme, there was at least a way to move forward…
‘You have calmed yourself,’
Maneck said. Ramon hadn’t heard it approach.
‘Yes, demon,’ Ramon said. ‘I
suppose I have.’
He flipped open the cigarette
case. It was empty save for the engraved Mi Corazon that Elena had had
etched in the silver. My heart. Here, my heart, smoke yourself to death. Ramon
chuckled.
‘I do not understand your
reaction,’ the alien said. ‘You will explain it.’
‘I just wanted a cigarette,’
Ramon said, keeping his tone friendly. See how safe I am? See how ready I am
to cooperate with you? ‘Looks like that greedy fuck out there smoked them
all. Too bad, eh? Ah! I would enjoy a good smoke.’ He thought wistfully of the
cigarette he’d used to light the fuse all that time ago. Or that the other had
used. The cigarette he had smoked with other lungs, in another lifetime.
‘What is a “smoke”?’ Maneck said.
Ramon sighed. When it wasn’t like
speaking to a foreigner, it was like speaking to a child.
He tried to describe a cigarette
to the creature. Maneck’s snout began to twitch in revulsion before Ramon had
half-finished.
‘I do not comprehend the function
of smoking,’ Maneck said. ‘The function of the lungs is to oxygenate the
body. Does not filling the lungs with the fumes of burning plants and the waste
products of their incomplete combustion interfere with this function? What is
the purpose of smoking?’
‘Smoking gives us cancer,’ he
said, repressing a grin. The alien seemed so solemn, and puzzled, that he could
not resist the impulse to have a little fun with it.
‘Ah! And what is cancer?’
Ramon explained.
‘That is aubre! Maneck
said, its voice harsh and grating in its alarm. ‘Your function is to find the
man, and you will not be permitted to interfere with this purpose. Do not attempt
to thwart me by contracting cancer!’
Ramon chuckled, then laughed. One
wave of hilarity seemed to overrush the next, and soon he was holding his side
and coughing with the strength of the laughter shaking him. Maneck moved
nearer, its crest rising and falling in a way that made Ramon think it was questioning
- like a child who has to ask her parents what she has said to amuse them.
‘Are you having a seizure?’
Maneck demanded.
It was too much. Ramon howled and
kicked his feet, pointing at the alien in derision. He couldn’t speak. The
absurdity of his situation and the powerful strain his mind had been under
amplified the humor of Maneck’s confusion until he was helpless before it. The
alien moved forward and then back, agitated and uncertain. Slowly, the fit
faded, and Ramon found himself spent, lying on the ground.
‘You are unwell?’ Maneck asked.
‘I’m fine,’ Ramon said. ‘I’m
fine. You, though, are very funny.’
‘I do not understand.’
‘No. No, you don’t! That’s what
makes you funny. You are a funny, funny, sad little devil.’
Maneck stared solemnly at him. ‘You
are fortunate that I am not in cohesion,’ it said. ‘If I were, we would destroy
you at once and start again with another duplicate, as such fits indicate that
you are a defective organism. Why did you undergo this seizure? Is it a symptom
of cancer?’
‘Stupid cabron,’ Ramon
said. ‘I was laughing.’
‘Explain laughing. I do
not comprehend this function.’
He groped for an explanation the
alien would understand. ‘Laughter is a good thing,’ he said, weakly. ‘Pleasurable.
A man who cannot laugh is nothing. It is part of our function.’
‘This is not so,’ Maneck replied.
‘Laughing halts the flow. It interferes with proper function.’
‘Laughing makes me feel good,’
Ramon said. ‘When I feel good, I function better. It’s like food, you see.’
‘That is an incorrect statement.
Food provides energy for your body. Laughing does not.’
‘A different kind of energy. When
something is funny, I laugh.’
‘Explain funny.’’
He thought for a minute, then
recalled a joke he had heard the last time he was in Little Dog. Eloy Chavez
had told it to him when they went drinking together. ‘Listen, then, monster,’
he said, ‘and I will tell you a funny story.’
The telling did not go very well.
Maneck kept interrupting with questions, asking for definitions and explanations,
until Ramon finally said irritably, ‘Son of a whore, the story will not be
funny if you do not shut up and let me tell it to you! You are ruining it with
all your questions!’
‘Why does this make the incident
less funny?’ Maneck asked.
‘Never mind!’ Ramon snapped. ‘Just
listen.’
The alien said nothing more, and
this time Ramon told it straight through without interruption, but when he was
finished, Maneck twitched its snout and stared at him from expressionless
orange eyes.
‘Now you are supposed to laugh,’
Ramon told it. ‘That was a very funny story.’
‘Why is this incident funny?’ it
said. ‘The man you spoke of was instructed to mate with a female of its species
and kill a large carnivore. If this was his tatecreude, he did not
fulfill it. Why did he mate with the carnivore instead? Was he aubre? The
creature injured him, and might have killed him. Did he not understand that
this might be the result of his actions? He behaved in a contradictory manner.’
‘That’s why the story is
funny! Don’t you understand? He fucked the chupacabra!’
‘Yes, I comprehend that,’ said
Maneck. ‘Would the story not be more “funny” if the man had performed his
function properly?’
‘No, no, no! It would not
be funny at all then!’ He glanced sidelong at the alien, sitting there
like a great solemn lump, its face grave, and couldn’t help but start to laugh
again.
And then the pain came -
world-rending, humiliating, abasing. It lasted longer than he had remembered;
hellish and total and complex as nausea. When at last it ended, Ramon found
himself curled tight in a ball, his fingers scrabbling at the sahael, which
pulsed with his own heartbeat. To his shame, he was weeping, betrayed as a dog
kicked without cause. Maneck stood over him, silent and implacable, and, in
that moment, to Ramon, a figure of perfect evil.
‘Why?’ Ramon shouted, ashamed to
hear the break in his voice. ‘Why? I didn’t do anything!’
‘You threaten to contract cancer
to avoid our purpose. You engage in a seizure that impairs your functioning.
You take pleasure in contradictions. You take pleasure in the failure to
integrate. This is aubre. Any sign of aubre will be punished
thus.’
‘I laughed,’ Ramon whispered. ‘I
only laughed!’
‘Any laughter will be punished
thus.’
Ramon felt something like
vertigo. He had forgotten. He had forgotten again that this thing on the far
end of his tether was not a strangely shaped man. The mind behind the opaque
orange eyes was not a human mind. It had been easy to forget. And it had been
dangerous.
If he was to live - if he was to
escape this and return to the company of human beings - he had to remember chat
this thing was not like him. He was a man, however he had been created. And
Maneck was a monster. He had been a fool to treat him otherwise.
‘I will not laugh again,’ Ramon
said. ‘Or get cancer.’
Maneck said nothing more, but sat
down next to him. Silence stretched between them, a gulf as strange and dark as
the void between stars. Many times Ramon had felt estranged from the people he
was forced to deal with - norteamericanos, Brazilians, or even the
full-blooded mejicanos to whom he was related by courtesy of rape; they
thought differently, those strangers, felt things differently, could not wholly
be trusted because they could not wholly be understood. Often women, even
Elena, made him feel that way too. Perhaps that was why he had spent so much of
his life by himself, why he was more at home alone in the wilderness than he
had ever been with others of his kind. But all of them had more to do with him
than Maneck ever could. He was separated from a norteamericano by
history, culture, and language - but even a gringo knew how to laugh, and got
mad when you spat on him. No such common ground united Ramon and Maneck;
between them lay light-years, and a million centuries of evolution. He could
take nothing for granted about the thing at the other end of the sahael. The
thought made him colder than the breeze from the mountains.
It was something Mikel Ibrahim,
the manager of the El Rey had said more than once: If lions could speak,
we still wouldn’t understand them. His only chance was to never let himself
forget that he was tethered to a lion.
Maneck nudged him. ‘Time to
resume our functioning.’
‘Give me a minute,’ Ramon said. ‘I
don’t think I can walk yet.’
Maneck was silent for a time,
then turned and began pacing between the abandoned lean-to and the trees. The sahael
tugged and stretched as the alien moved. Ramon tried to ignore it.
Somewhere in the blindness that was the sahael’s punishment, Ramon had
bit his tongue. His mouth tasted of blood. Not alien ichor, coppery human
blood. When he spat, it was red. If he had harbored any doubt or fears that he
might have been something inhuman after Maneck and his fellow demons had done
whatever it was they had done to him, they were gone now. Maneck had shown how
far removed it was from humanity, and so it had also shown how much Ramon was
indeed a man.
‘There’s something,’ Ramon said. ‘The
plan you have - watching me and then searching. If I’m really the same as the pendejo
that’s out there now, I can tell you some things that he’d do. Specific
things. Not just something any man might think of.’
Maneck strode back to Ramon’s
side as he stood and brushed ashes and litter from his alien robes.
‘You have insight in to the man’s
probable flow,’ Maneck said. ‘You will express this insight.’
‘The river,’ Ramon said. ‘He’ll
head toward the river. If he can make it there and build a raft, he can ride it
down to Fiddler’s Jump. There are fish to eat, and the water’s safe to drink.
He could travel day and night both and he wouldn’t have to rest. It would be
the best thing for him to do.’
Maneck was silent, its snout
moving as if tasting the idea. And why not, Ramon thought. Tasting ideas was no
stranger than anything else about the creature that controlled him.
‘The man was here,’ Maneck said
at last. ‘If it is his function to approach the river, it becomes a better
expression of our tatecreude. You have functioned well. To avoid aubre
is better than funny.’
‘If you say so.’
‘We will proceed,’ Maneck said
and led Ramon back to the flying box.
As they swooped over the forest,
he began to think more carefully about the campsite they had left behind. Small
things tugged at his attention. Why had the other Ramon left the camp and
returned to it so many times? Why had he gone to the trouble of catching and
skinning animals when there were perfectly good sug beetles to eat? Where was
the spit he’d used to roast the little animals? Slowly it occurred to Ramon
that his double out there in the bush was up to something. There was a plan
taking shape besides his own, and he couldn’t quite make out its shape.
And if he was Ramon Espejo
remade from a bit of flesh by unthinkable alien technology, if he was truly
identical to the man out there, the man he remembered being, shouldn’t he
already know what it was? Perhaps his simple acceptance of his identity
wasn’t as straightforward as he’d thought. He found himself wondering whether
the sahael could do more than humiliate him with pain. Perhaps it could
slide some sort of drug into his blood that made him calmer, more accepting,
more likely to ignore the questions that arose from his curious situation. Now
that he considered it, this was not how he would have expected himself to
react.
The alien had instructed him not
to diverge from his identity as Ramon Espejo, and he had followed that order.
Was that really how a man would react? Was that how he would have
reacted, if his route to this moment hadn’t been through the vat?
There was no way to know. All he
could do was dismiss these doubts from his mind, and pin his hopes on that
other Ramon Espejo who was lurking somewhere out there in the forest. He was
probably close.
Three days, Maneck had said, the
other had been running. It was almost five now. He guessed that he could cover
thirty kilometers in a day, especially with all the demons of Hell on his
heels. That would put his twin almost to the river by day’s end. Unless his
wounds had slowed him. Unless he had become septic and died alone in the woods,
far from help. Ramon shuddered at the thought, but then dismissed it. That was Ramon
Espejo out there. A tough-ass bastard like that wasn’t going to die easy!
Jesus God, he better not!
* * * *
CHAPTER TEN
Ramon had never intended to leave Earth. It was one of those
accidents of circumstance, and little more. At fifteen years old, he’d taken
work in the open pit mines of southern Mexico. One of the operators had fallen
sick - too much dust in his lungs - and Ramon had taken his place. The overseer
had shown him how to drive the old lift, warned him that the three-story-tall
earthmovers weren’t going to slow down if he got in the way, and his career had
begun. Sixteen hour days in sun hot enough to melt and crack the plastic seals
around his pitted windshield, moving and smoothing slag and gravel according to
the shouted orders. The rags he tied over his mouth began the morning in any
number of bright colors - blue and red and orange - and ended the gray of dirt.
After one of the older workers had kicked the shit out of him, he joined a work
gang under Palenki - old Palenki who was queer and crazed, mean as a rat and
ruthless as the cancer that had finally killed him. But he made sure no one
fucked with his team. He was the one who’d shown Ramon how to stick a woman’s
sanitary pad in his hard hat to keep the sweat out of his eyes.
Those had been terrible days,
working the mines. He’d slept on a company cot in a wood shack hardly better
than the squatters’ holes he’d grown up in. The food had tasted of grit. It was
a grinding, endless exhaustion, and the money he made was hardly enough to get
drunk with on Saturday night. And still, it was work.
Palenki had been his ticket. The
old bastard had made his crew learn. In the nights, when no one wanted anything
more than to sleep and try to forget the day, Palenki made them all watch
tutorials on mining technology and industrial geology. Ramon had hated it, but
he didn’t want to get cut from the work gang. So, half against his will, he’d
learned. And though he would never have said it, he found himself enjoying it.
Stone made sense to him, the way that land formed, folding ancient histories
into itself until someone like him came along and cracked it open. The
half-hour tutorial sessions were the best part of his day, almost worth losing
the sleep for.
And perhaps Palenki had seen it
in him. Because the time came when the Silver Enye ships arrived at the
platforms above Mexico City. Huge beyond imagining, they hung in the sky like
hawks riding an updraft. There was a contract. A colony planet. The first wave
had left thirty years before, and now the Enye wanted to sling a ship after
them to bring the industrial infrastructure that the planet would need. The
first colonists wouldn’t reach the planet for another several centuries
according to the clocks sitting on Earth, but with the effects of relativity
and the stuttering reality of the Enye drive engines, Ramon could be there in
little more than a year of ship’s time. Anyone who took a contract to go out
into the black carrying the questionable fruits of human industry would by
definition outlive everyone who stayed behind. That alone seemed enough to
convince Palenki. He accepted a contract and signed his whole work gang up with
him.
Ramon remembered taking the orbital
shuttle up to the platform, gliding twice around the earth and ending
practically right above where he’d started. He was sixteen, and leaving his
world behind. The only regret he’d felt at the prospect was when he’d looked
down from the Enye ship. The blue of the ocean, the white of the clouds, the
industrialized land masses glittering in the crescent nighttime like a
permanent fire; the earth was prettier when you were away from it. If you
backed up far enough, it was even beautiful.
Palenki had died on the trip. The
tumor had been pressing on his heart for months. Ramon and the others of the
work gang had scrambled to reorganize themselves, fearing that the Enye wouldn’t
honor the contract without Palenki, and they were right. The agreement was voided,
and when the great ships reached the São Paulo colony, the excess boys were
sent out into the strange world as generalized laborers. He’d gone from being
nothing on Earth to being nothing on a colony world. There was no way to return
to Earth; everyone he’d known there was already dead. But he knew what Palenki
had taught him, he found more tutorials, apprenticed himself to a prospecting
outfit that went bankrupt after a few years. He’d bought one of the old vans
just before the foreclosure and set himself up as an independent.
That first run out into the terreno
cimarrón had been like winning the lottery, like coming back to a place he’d
forgotten. The great, empty sky; the forests and the ocean; the great fissures
in the south; the towering mountains in the north. Empty. It was the first time
in memory that he’d been truly alone, and he’d wept. He remembered now how he’d
sat in the driver’s seat, letting the autopilot carry him, and wept like a man
who’d seen Jesus.
‘You are suffering the effects of
recapitulation,’ Maneck said. ‘As the structures of your brain complete their
formation, the memories will become less intrusive.’
Ramon looked over at the thing,
wondering if it was trying to reassure him or scold him or if its agenda in
speaking was comprehensible in human terms.
‘What the fuck are you talking
about?’
‘As your neural paths conform to
their proper flow, older patterns will command temporary inappropriate
prominence.’
‘Thanks,’ he said. ‘I wasn’t
worried about it.’ And then, a moment later, ‘So if I try real hard, I can make
a memory grow back?’
‘No,’ Maneck said. ‘The process
would be impeded by will. You are not to try to remember specific events. To do
so will decrease your function. You will refrain.’
‘Kind of like picking at scabs
means they won’t heal,’ Ramon said, then shrugged and changed the subject. ‘Hey.
How was it you got here, anyway?’
‘We participate in flow. Our
presence is inevitable.’
‘Yeah, whatever. But you
monstrosities, you don’t come from here, right? You can’t. There aren’t any
cities or factories or those bug-tower things like the Turu use. You don’t eat
the animals or plants here the way you would if you fuckers had evolved here
with them. This isn’t your planet. So how was it you got here?’
‘Our presence was inevitable,’
Maneck said again. ‘Given the constraints upon the flow of what your flawed
language would call my people, this outcome was required.’
‘You hide inside a mountain,’
Ramon said, looking out between the thinned slats of the flying box to the
green and orange smudge of the treetops three meters below. ‘You’re all hot and
bothered to stop this other version of me so no one finds out about you. You
know what I think?’
Maneck didn’t respond. A thin,
transparent membrane slipped over its eyes, dulling the orange color. Ramon
thought there were birds who did something like that - had eyelids they could
see through. Or perhaps it was fish. Ramon grinned and leaned back.
‘I think you were out there for
the same reason I was. I think you’re hiding from something.’
‘From what was the man hiding?’
Maneck asked. Ramon felt a stab of unease; he hadn’t meant to tell the thing
about the European. But how could it matter now?
‘I killed someone. He was with a
woman and he didn’t treat her so good. I was drunk and he was being loud and
stupid. He said some shit, I said some shit. It ended up in the alley, you
know? Turned out he was the ambassador from Europa. And I put a knife in him.
Anyway, I wanted to get the fuck away. Get someplace they wouldn’t find me and
wait for the thing to blow over. And then I find you pendejos.’
‘You killed one of your own kind?’
‘Sort of,’ Ramon said. ‘He was
from Europa.’
‘Had he restricted your freedom?’
‘No, and he didn’t fuck my wife
or any of that other shit. It wasn’t like that.’
‘Then why was it you killed him?’
‘It doesn’t bother me,’ Ramon
said. ‘It was just one of those things. They happen sometimes. Like an accident.
We were both drunk.’
‘Hard drink,’ the alien said. ‘It
removed your constraints.’
‘Yes.’
‘You kill to be free, and freedom
causes you to kill,’ the alien said. ‘This cycle is aubre.’
‘It’s got drawbacks,’ Ramon said.
What had the cabron said?
Ramon tried to remember how it had happened. The European must have said
something or done something; made some joke or crack or comment that had driven
them out to the alley. Had it been over the woman? It seemed like perhaps it
had. He remembered the alley, the knife, the blood changing colors under the
shifting light, but before that, things were missing and out of focus. He didn’t
know how to tell if that was a result of being drunk or the unformed nature of
his new alien-built brain.
Why did you kill him?
The question seemed better and
better all the time.
In the northern sky, great clouds
gathered, piling up white and gray and yellow. Green balloons - the
hydrogen-bladdered plants they called sky-lilies - dotted the clouds, moving in slow, lazy whorls where the
high, thin winds caught them and made them tumble like jellyfish in the sea.
They were a sure sign of coming weather. Ramon saw flashes of lightning beneath
the cloudbank’s belly, but it was too far to hear the thunder. It would rain,
but not here. Wherever the other Ramon was now, at least he wouldn’t need to
worry about getting soaked. How strange it must be for the other Ramon - hurt,
alone, unaware that there was someone else now who knew about the aliens and
was plotting to keep him alive and free. Ramon imagined his twin out there,
hiding under the leaves, possibly even watching the bone-white box make its
wide arcing path through the air.
Frightened. The other Ramon would
be frightened. And pissed off. Frightened not only because of what he’d found
and the hunt in which he was now the prey, but also from being so alone - so isolated.
There was a difference between isolation and solitude. With the van and his
supplies, he’d enjoyed solitude. Thinking he was the only man north of Fiddler’s
Jump with no way to call for help, sleeping in improvised shelters, and fleeing
an inscrutable alien civilization - that was different. He tried to imagine
himself in that place. He tried to think how he would feel.
He’d want to kill the pinche alien.
And he knew that was right, because sitting here next to the thing, that was
exactly what he wanted. Ramon sighed. At least the other Ramon didn’t
have this thing stuck in his neck.
Maneck shuddered, the yunea coming
to a sudden halt in mid-air. Ramon’s attention snapped to the alien. Its quills
were agitated as grass in a high wind; its arms seemed to fidget with each
other and with nothing. Ramon felt a deep sense of dread bloom in his belly.
Something had happened.
‘You got something?’ he asked.
‘The man has been nearby.
Recently. You were correct in your interpretation of his flow. You are an apt
tool.’
‘Where is he?’
Maneck didn’t answer. The yunea
began to sway slowly back and forth as if hung from the sky by a rope.
Ramon stood up, the slats of the floor biting into the soft, uncallused soles
of his feet. His heart was racing, though he couldn’t say what it was he hoped
or feared would happen. The sahael pulsed once and went quiet again.
‘Where is he?’ Ramon repeated,
and this time, Maneck turned to him.
‘He is not present,’ the alien
rumbled. ‘You will interpret this.’
The yunea shifted, sloping
down through the air. Ramon stumbled and sat back down. The leafy canopy
parted, and a long, wide meadow came into view. Great, flat stones - granite,
from the look of them - lay among the grasses and wildflowers. And at the side
of one of them, something fluttered. Ramon squinted, fighting to make it out. A
branch or a stick had been driven into the soil at the great stone’s edge, and
a rag had been tied to the top like a banner. The cloth was dirty and pale with
darker stains. His shirt. It was the rest of Ramon’s shirt, tied by its one
remaining sleeve.
‘What is the significance of this
object?’ Maneck asked.
‘Fuck if I know,’ Ramon said. ‘Maybe
it’s a flag of surrender? Could be that he wants to talk.’
‘If he wishes to converse, why would
he not be present?’
‘You shot his finger off!’
Maneck went silent. The yunea made
a slow circuit of the strange flag. Ramon sucked at his teeth. It had to have
been put there to get their attention. And yet the idea of surrender fit poorly
with Ramon’s intuition. Ramon Espejo would not want to surrender. The yunea hovered
over the stone, lowering itself slowly toward the ground. Ramon imagined his
twin out in the forest, maybe watching them. Had he had binoculars in his pack
when the aliens found him, or had they been left in the van and been
incinerated? No, they wouldn’t have been. There wouldn’t have been room in his
pack for the field glasses and coring charges both.
Ramon’s unease sprang to full
panic. The coring charges! The branch set just at the edge of the stone where
it could amplify any vibration within the granite slab. It wasn’t a flag. It
was a trigger.
‘Stop!’ he shouted, a half second
too late. The yunea touched down. Ramon thought he could see the branch
shudder in the immeasurably brief moment before the explosion came.
* * * *
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Ramon struggled to move. There was something, something urgent,
but he couldn’t quite remember what it was. The earth beneath him felt
unstable, like when he’d drunk until it was hard to walk. Only there was
something bad, something important. And he couldn’t remember what it was.
It was the shell of the yunea that
first brought a glimmer of recognition. The bone-white slats and dripping
strands of the thing’s walls and floor had been broken and ripped apart. They
lay on the ground, scattered on the granite stone like a child’s game of
pick-up sticks. Only one wall and a corner remained standing, and it was
slumped like an old man’s spine. The air smelled hot and acid - the scent,
familiar to prospectors, of spent explosives. Across the stone, a great spray
of fresh earth and new gravel showed where the charges had gone off, angled up
toward anyone on the surface instead of down into the ground. He had an
impression - likely more his own imagination than the truth - of the slats
clicking closed and opaque at the moment of the blast. Shielding him. Him and
the alien. Maneck.
Ramon tried to sit up and failed,
slipping back down onto the ground. His arms were weak, his right leg was
bleeding freely from a gash just above his knee. He forced himself to roll
over. His head was beginning to clear, memories of the immediate past fitting
themselves together.
The fucker had tried to kill
them. The other Ramon, wherever he was, had known he was being followed, and he’d
laid a trap to kill the alien. Outrage bloomed in his heart, followed almost
instantly by respect and a strange pride. Let aliens everywhere know it: Ramon
Espejo was a tough little fucker, and dangerous to cross. Ramon laughed, hooted,
slapped ineffectually at the ground, his mouth aching with a grin. That had
been a fucking ride. It occurred to him that he was laughing, and not being
punished for it.
The sahael was still
trailing from his neck. Its pale flesh had gone dark as a bruise. Ramon
swallowed. He wondered for the first time what would happen if the evil thing
died while it was inside of him.
‘Monster!’ he called, and his
voice seemed deep and far away. The high register of his hearing had been blown
out by the explosion, leaving him only the low bass tones of his voice. ‘Monster!
Are you okay?’
There was no answer. Ramon
finally levered himself up to sitting, and, one hand on the dark, injured sahael,
followed its line to the massive bulk of the alien. Maneck was standing,
but its stance seemed lower and squat, as if it needed a wider base of support
to keep its balance. One of its strangely-jointed arms hung limp at its side.
Its left eye had gone from hot orange to a deep ruby red and swollen to half
again its previous size. The most dramatic change though, was its skin. Where
the silver had swirled on the black like oil over water, half of the alien’s
body had turned ashy and gray. Its flesh looked tighter as well, like a sausage
cooked almost to the point of bursting. Pale mucus dribbled from its snout,
spattering to the ground at its feet. Ramon couldn’t guess what it was, but
nothing about the alien spoke well of its condition.
‘Monster?’ Ramon said again.
‘You failed to foresee this,’ the
alien intoned.
‘No shit,’ Ramon said.
‘It is your purpose to mirror the
man’s flow,’ the alien said.
‘Well, I’m only so good a tool,’
Ramon said, and spat. ‘I forgot that the fucker had those coring charges in his
pack. It was a mistake.’
‘What other devices does he have?’
Ramon shrugged, trying to recall
the layout of his field pack.
‘Some food, but he’s probably
already eaten that. There’s an emergency beacon, but it’s short range. It’s
designed to trigger a bigger beacon in the van, and you motherfuckers already
took care of that. A pistol. I had a pistol.’
‘That is the device that
accelerated metal using magnetic fields?’ Maneck asked. Its voice seemed
flatter and more mechanical. Ramon didn’t know if the change was in the alien’s
voice or his own ears.
‘That’s the one.’
‘It was removed from him,’ Maneck
said. ‘It was this that separated the man’s appendage.’
‘The pistol guard ripped his
finger off?’ Ramon asked. ‘You mean that pendejo’s done all this without
his trigger finger?’
Maneck blinked, the red eye’s lid
not entirely closing.
‘Is this significant?’ Maneck
asked.
‘No. It’s just kind of
impressive.’
A low wheeze came from the alien
that, in another context, Ramon might have mistaken for laughter. Instead, he
wondered if the thing was suffering a seizure or choking on something. The
mucus flowing from its snout became a violent blue for a moment, then turned
pale again.
‘How many more charges of this
kind does the man possess?’ Maneck asked.
‘I don’t know,’ Ramon said. ‘I
had four in the pack. That’s standard. I used one finding you bastards, so that’s
three, but I don’t know if he just used one charge on this or all of them.’
‘Can this be determined?’
‘Sure, probably,’ Ramon said. ‘I
can take a look. I should probably do something about my leg first, though. And
you look like shit.’
‘You will determine the number of
charges used,’ Maneck said, its voice becoming strident and tinny. Ramon
decided that his high-register hearing was starting to come back. ‘You will do
so immediately.’
‘Fine,’ Ramon said. ‘I have to go
over and look at the crater. You think this fucking leash stretches that far?’
The alien was still for a moment,
and then began to haul itself across the wreckage of the flying box toward the
new scar in the landscape. Its steps were pained and awkward. Ramon could hear
its breath; the low wheeze again. It had clearly been seriously hurt.
The crater was wide, but shallow.
Ramon considered the stone where the blast had sheared away the corners of the
granite. If the charge had been shaped to burrow into or even under the slab,
the damage to stone would have been much more extensive. The other Ramon had
angled the blast up, toward whatever set it off. The triggering branch was
currently nothing more than a handful of toothpicks scattered from the meadow
up toward low orbit. He had a momentary image of a flapjack somewhere high in
the air, surprised at being impaled by a length of branch, but he suppressed a
chuckle.
If the edge of the stone had been
more intact, he could have gotten a better idea of how the trigger had been
set. It would have been tricky to isolate the movement of the stone from the
vibrations of the branch and its flapping banner. He could think of three ways
off hand that might have done the trick, depending on the formation of the
rock.
But that wasn’t the critical
issue. The important thing was that the blast had been pointing upward. He
paced the crater’s perimeter, limping when the wound in his leg sent an
unexpected pain shooting through him. The blast pattern was lobed, and roughly
triangular. He could almost see how it had been done. The branch had been set
as a trigger particularly sensitive to the relatively stable stone, but anyone
taking the shirt off or shifting the branch itself would have set off the
charges as well. His twin hadn’t known what direction the hunters would
approach from, and he’d set the blasts meant to make a rough circle. He’d bet
everything on the one trap, and it hadn’t been a bad wager at all.
Ramon squatted, his fingers
brushing the dirt more for the simple pleasure of feeling fresh soil than for
anything he expected to learn. The ground smelled strongly of the explosives.
He wondered what it had been like, setting the trap. Joyous or nerve-wracking?
Or both? Fumbling with coring charges and an improvised trigger, and working
with a mutilated right hand besides. And it had worked. The yunea was
wrecked, Maneck badly injured. The score was even now - blow for blow, van for flying
box. Ramon had a feeling bordering on presentiment that his other self out
there in the trees was going to win.
‘Hey, monster!’ Ramon called.
Maneck had not moved from its place at the crater’s edge. Its stillness, so
eerie before, now seemed like an indication of weakness. Ramon limped back
toward it. ‘Are you dead? Can you hear me?’
‘I hear you,’ Maneck said.
‘I’m pretty sure he used all
three charges. There aren’t going to be any more like this.’
Maneck didn’t reply. Ramon spat
and scratched himself. The alien shuddered once and lowered its head. The
quills lay limp as wilted ivy.
‘I have failed to fulfill my tatecreude,’
the alien said. ‘I am damaged. The man has progressed. We will return to
the others and confer.’
‘We can’t do that!’ Ramon said,
fearful images of the alien hive filling his mind. He couldn’t return to that,
to be trapped in that smothering darkness for the rest of his life; the
hunt had to continue, or he had no hope of getting free of this thing. ‘He’s
got to be close. He’s got nothing now. What, he’s going to stop us with a
hunting knife and a pair of dirty pants?’
‘I am weakened,’ Maneck said.
‘So’s he! You shot his pinche finger
off! It’s been festering for days. He’s been running for days. He’s got
to be ready to collapse!’
Maneck went silent. Ramon tried
to will the alien on, tried to push something - anger, bloody-minded resolve,
duty, thirst for revenge, anything - send it up the bruised sahael and
into the thing’s flesh. They couldn’t turn back now.
‘Is it your fucking tatecreude
to give up and run back to your fucking mother? Like a coward? Is that it?
The man is still out there, still heading for Fiddler’s Jump, only now we know
where he’s going. We can get to him. If we limp back, it’s going to take days.
By then, he could have gotten anywhere. It’ll be too late to stop him from
telling everybody about you!’
Maneck didn’t reply, so Ramon
pressed on.
‘This trap he set? It can’t have
been set for very long. Something would have triggered it by accident. No, he’s
close. He probably stayed to watch and see if it worked. Even if he was in a
treetop someplace, he can’t be more than two or three klicks from here. You can
still get to him.’
Maneck’s head shifted slowly from
side to side as if the alien were shaking its head, no. A cold dread shook
Ramon. It couldn’t end like this. They had to go after the other Ramon. They had
to. There had to be something - some way to make the injured alien keep
going rather than folding up and running. Ramon’s hands were trembling, his
mind whirling like a storm. He had to struggle not to lash out at the thing,
kick it, punch it, make it do the right thing. He didn’t consider what
he was going to say, and when he spoke, his own words surprised him.
‘What will they think of you? The
other ones back under that mountain, your brothers? They know you’re out here.
They know why, and you can’t fucking tell me they don’t admire you for it. You
want to go back in shame as a failure and see how they look at you then?
Fine. You want to know what it’s like to have your own people turn their backs
on you? Fine. Let’s go, then. Come on, you great fucking bitch!’
Ramon did swing a foot then,
kicking the alien where its ankle would have been if it had one. The impact was
soft and hard at the same time, like kicking a tree wrapped in a layer of
rubber. Maneck didn’t react.
‘Go back, then, you sad little
devil!’ Ramon shouted, his blood making his face warm with his rage. ‘Turn
around, and let’s march back home and let them see that you’re nothing. That
you’re connected to nothing. You aren’t a part of them. Let’s see how you like
it that they don’t want shit to do with you anymore. Or keep moving forward, do
what they want you to do, and finish this thing! They don’t have the
balls to do it. Show them that you do! What’s the worst that can happen?
That shit-crazy ratfuck out there could kill us. Is that what you’re worried
about? Is going back as a failure better than dying in a fight? Have some
balls! Be a man!’
The alien bowed its head, the quills
stirring slightly.
‘I must rest,’ it said, its voice
low. ‘But you are correct. To cease to function is aubre. To express my tatecreude
is paramount.’
‘Fucking right it is!’
‘I will focus on my own repair
for a time. When proceeding will cause no further damage, we will locate the
man.’
‘Well,’ Ramon said, nodding,
relief and pleasure flushing through him. ‘All right, then! Good you grew some
fucking huevos. We’ll track him down on foot. We can do that.’
‘Is he like this as well?’
the alien asked.
‘Like what?’
‘You are not coordinated in your
thoughts,’ the alien said. ‘Your tatecreude is unfocused, and your
nature is prone to aubre. You comprehend killing and will, but not niedutoi.
You are flawed at your core, and if you were a kii hatchling, you
would be reabsorbed. You attempt to separate and also to rejoin. Your flow is
always in conflict with itself, and the violence of this confuses your proper
function but also overcomes boundaries that would otherwise restrict you. Is
this what the man is like, or are you continuing to deviate?’
Ramon looked into the alien’s
uninjured eye, trying to make sense of what it had said. Flow and conflict,
violence and restriction. Belonging and not belonging. Or maybe he was the one
who’d brought that up.
‘No, monster,’ he said at last. ‘It’s
not deviation. I’ve always been like this.’
* * * *
CHAPTER TWELVE
After an hour, the alien heaved itself to its feet, with a
ratcheting sigh that sounded like a length of chain being dropped through a
hole. ‘We proceed,’ it said grimly, and gestured to Ramon to take the lead.
It took a little more than an
hour of pacing slowly around the meadow’s edge to find the other man’s trail.
Through the long hours of the morning and into the afternoon, Ramon took point,
the sahael trailing behind him to Maneck’s slow, steady plodding. It
would have been a harder thing if Ramon hadn’t known the kind of tricks he
himself would have employed to create a false trail. Twice they came upon what
looked like a mistake on the other man’s part - a muddy footprint leading up
onto a stony ridge, a length of roughened ground where he might have lost
control as he went down a slope. Ramon guided them past the red herrings
easily.
The nature of the forest changed
as they walked. On the higher ground near the mountains, the trees were all
iceroot and pine analogs. The further they moved toward the river, the more
exotic the foliage became. Wide-branched perdida willows with black
trunks shaped like half-melted women; towering pescados blancos, named
for the paleness of their leaves and the oceanic scent of their sap;
half-mobile colonies of coral moss with bright pink skeletons peeking out from
beneath the rich green flesh. The weariness and the throbbing of his knee
seemed to fall away from Ramon as he caught his stride. It felt almost as if he
knew beforehand where he was going, where the other Ramon had gone before him.
He almost forgot Maneck’s lumbering form walking behind him, matching his path
perfectly to avoid catching the sahael on two different sides of the
same tree.
A flatfoot blatted at him as he
passed, scolding him with a noise like an annoyed oboe. The thin, gnawed bones
of a kyi-kyi lay scattered at the base of a small cliff, pale as the slats of
the yunea. The other Ramon was roughly following the creek that had run
by the meadow where he’d set his trap. The water was an infallible guide, and
though there was no trail beside it, Ramon found they were rarely out of
earshot of its chuckling flow. A sense of peace infused him, and he found
himself smiling. The sun rose, the temperature inched up. If he’d been wearing
a shirt, Ramon would have been tempted to take it off and tuck it into his
belt, not because he was overheated, but only because the air would feel good
against his skin. At last, untypically, Maneck called for a halt. Its skin was
ashen gray, and it seemed almost unsteady on its feet.
‘We will rest here,’ it said. ‘It
is necessary to recuperate.’
‘For a little while,’ Ramon said.
‘We can’t let him get too far ahead. If he gets to the river…well, if he gets
to the river, he’ll have to take the time to build some kind of raft. And with
a fucked-up hand, so I guess that could take him a while. But if he does get
out on the river, we’ll never catch him. We should have just used your flying
box to get downstream. We could have just waited for him to drift by.’
‘This suggestion is of no effect.
We did not, therefore there can be no previous shall. Your language violates
the nature of time. We must rest, here.’
It was a good site. The brook
pooled here into a tiny lake. The afternoon sun glittered silver on its
surface. A low gray-green ground cover made a wide soft place to rest. When
Ramon lay back, the bruised leaves smelled like basil, like nutmeg, like
nothing he had a name for. Maneck trundled to the water’s edge and looked out
before closing its eyes. The red, wounded one still had a bright slit where the
lid no longer entirely closed.
From where he lay, Ramon could
turn his head and put one eye level with the top of the ground cover and see
how the patterns of sun and wind on the lake mirrored the waving of the tiny
silver leaves. It took him a few minutes to spot the hidden grave.
It was at the edge of the
clearing, near a small waterfall where the lake once again became a brook. A
swath of the ground cover stood higher than the surrounding plants. It was no
longer than Ramon’s forearm, no wider than his spread hand. He walked to the
anomaly, the sahael tugging at his throat. The ground, he saw, had been
dug up, the plants removed and then laid back on top of the tiny excavation
when it was done. Ramon felt a moment’s unease. It seemed like the thing a man
would do - the other Ramon. As if there were something buried here he wanted
to hide, but what would that be? There hadn’t been anything in his field pack
precious enough to preserve. Maybe a note? Some written record that would
expose the aliens? But who would ever find it here?
With only a moment’s hesitation -
might he have forgotten how many coring charges had been in the pack or might
the trap in the meadow have only used two? - Ramon dug his fingers into the
soft soil. Hardly an inch beneath the surface, he touched flesh. When he pulled
his hand back in disgust, his fingertips were red with blood. A flatfur,
skinned and raw and buried hardly deep enough to make any difference from
leaving the little body openly on the ground. He considered the corpse, and
remembered the skins at the other Ramon’s first camp. Whatever the man was
doing, it was intentional, and he’d planned it back that long ago, when traps
were on his mind. Ramon lifted the thing with a branch broken from the nearest
tree. There seemed to be no mechanism associated with it - no sharpened sticks
or knives. He might have poisoned the meat, but it seemed unreasonable that he
might expect the alien to eat it. What was the man - his other self - thinking?
Ramon took the dead animal by its
thin legs, walked it to the lake, and flung it out into the water. The
body sank like a stone. Maneck’s eyes remained closed, its stance still as a
statue and as unresponsive. Ramon debated for a moment. He could wake the thing
and tell it what he had found, or else keep the other Ramon’s secret. The
strange animal offering made him uncomfortable; his first impulse was to talk
about it. But if it was part of his twin’s plot to defeat the aliens, perhaps
it would be better to hold back.
Maneck’s eyes flickered open. ‘I
can go on no more today,’ it said. It actually sounded apologetic, perhaps even
ashamed. ‘I am too weak. I must recuperate further.’
‘That’s okay,’ Ramon said.
Almost, he felt sorry for it. How badly injured was it? Was it dying? ‘It’ll be
dark soon anyway. We might as well camp for the night.’
Maneck remained quiescent through
the rest of the day and into the night. Ramon broke branches and fronds to make
himself a lean-to, the sahael stretching to accommodate his movements.
When night fell, he roused Maneck long enough to scoop water from a tiny creek
and find a double handful of sug beetles. The alien didn’t ask about his change
in diet, and Ramon didn’t volunteer any information.
When the beetles were reduced to
their empty, colorful shells, Ramon lay back on the soft ground, looking up into
the vast starscape of night. The small fire he’d made to boil water for washing
out his wound and cooking had fallen to coals and ashes. In other
circumstances, it would have been a perfect night. In the distance, something
called - an animal or bird or insect that might never have been seen by human eyes.
The sound was high and fluting, and a moment after it came, two more answered
it. Another memory filled his awareness. Elena in her apartment. They had had
one of their first fights over his habit of camping outside the van. She had
been certain that a wild animal would find him and kill him in the darkness.
She’d had a friend taken by redjackets, and she claimed to suffer nightmares.
He’d been sleeping with her for a month and hadn’t seen evidence of it, but
when he said so, she only got angrier.
The argument had ended with her
throwing a kitchen knife at him. He’d slapped her. Afterwards they’d screwed.
Far above him, a meteor streaked
across the sky, burning and vanishing in the space of a heartbeat. The Sick
Gringo peered down on them from the stars, and, on the horizon, the Stone Man
was beginning to rise.
He knew she was crazy. Elena was
the kind of woman who wound up killing herself or her lover or her children,
and he didn’t love her any more than she loved him. It was all perfectly clear
to him, and also totally unimportant. People, he decided, didn’t come together
from love or hatred either one. They came together because they were the kind
of people who fit. She was a crazed bitch. He was a drunk and a killer. They
deserved each other.
Except he wasn’t a drunk when he
was here. In the field, he was sober as a priest. He was a better man out here.
His mind was growing muzzy and losing itself in sleep when the alien jerked to
attention. Ramon sat up.
‘What is it?’ he whispered.
‘Something is observing us,’
Maneck said.
A chill went up Ramon’s spine.
There were enough real monsters waiting out here in the bush that São
Paulo featured relatively few myths about duppies and mothmen and mysterious
unknown creatures. Ghosts were a different story, though. There were plenty of
ghosts here - from the ghost of Ugly Pete, a prospector who wandered the night
looking for a replacement for the head he’d lost in a mine accident, to Black
Maria, who appeared to men at the moment of their deaths. One cult in Little
Dog believed that São Paulo was where the dead of Earth went when they died. So
the night here swarmed with ghosts, like moths around a light, and out here in
the dark wilderness, that was not a good thing to think about - although, of
course, he didn’t believe in such things. Whatever was out there in the
dark, it was more likely to be a real physical creature than a ghost.
With that thought, Elena’s terror
of redjackets and chupacabras abruptly returned to Ramon, and he rose,
moving closer to the huge alien. He closed his eyes for the space of twenty
breaths, adapting them to darkness, then scanned the meadow’s edge. It was dark
enough that he couldn’t see anything directly. Only his peripheral vision
would pick out movement from the gloom beneath the trees.
‘There,’ he whispered. ‘Just to
the right of the white-barked tree. In that bush.’
Maneck did something complex with
its arm. A flash of light extended from its hand, and the bush exploded in a
ball of fire. Ramon jumped back.
‘Come,’ Maneck said, and began
moving forward. Ramon hung back half a pace, struggling between curiosity, fear
of whatever was in the trees, and unease at his alien captor’s weapon. He had
thought the thing was unarmed after the yunea’s crash. It was the sort
of mistake that would get him killed if he wasn’t more careful.
The corpse at the foot of the
tree, twisted in sudden agony and scorched black on its spine, was a jabali
rojo, something like a boar that had decided to be a fox instead half-way
through its evolution; the ornate tusks at the side of its open, lifeless mouth
were better suited for impressing female jabali than attacking men or
aliens.
‘It’s nothing,’ Ramon said. ‘It
was no danger to us.’
‘It might have been the man,’
Maneck said. Was there regret in its tone? Relief? Fear? Who could say?
When they returned to the modest
camp, Ramon lay back down, but found it hard to sleep. His mind worked
variation after variation on his new circumstances. Maneck was still
well-armed. The other Ramon didn’t have a pistol or any more coring charges. He
tried to imagine ways in which he might be able to give his other self an edge
- some chance that would make his own freedom possible.
And what then?
He found himself staring at
Maneck, his strange alien shape silhouetted against the cold stars like some
pagan idol dedicated to unimaginable gods. Before long, he found himself
beginning to drift. In his torpor, he realized that the alien had been
the one learning all this time - how a man ate, how he pissed, how he slept. Ramon
had learned nothing. For all his strategy and subterfuge, he knew hardly
more about the alien than when he’d first woken in darkness.
He would learn. If he had been
created as the thing said, then in a way Ramon was part alien himself - the
product of an alien technology. He was a new man. He could learn new ways. He
would come to understand the aliens, what they believed, how they thought. He
would leave no tool unused.
Sleep stole into him, taking him
gently down below consciousness, his determination to know still locked
in his mind like a rat in a pit terrier’s teeth. Ramon Espejo felt dreams
lapping at his mind like water at the bank of a river, and at last let them
come. They were strange, dreams such as Ramon Espejo had never dreamed before.
But after all, he was not Ramon
Espejo.
* * * *
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
In his dream, he was within the river. He had no need to breathe,
and moving through the water was as simple as thinking. Weightless, he
inhabited the currents like a fish, like the water itself. His consciousness
shifted throughout the river as if it were his body. He could feel the stones
of the riverbed where the water smoothed them and the shift, far ahead, where
the banks turned the flow one way and then another. And farther, past that to
the sea.
The sea. Vast as a night sky, but
full. The flow shifting throughout, alive and aware. Ramon floated down
through the waters until he came near the dappled bottom and it swam away, the
back of a leviathan larger than a city and still insignificant in the living
abyss.
And then he was also the abyss.
Ramon dreamed of flow.
Meaningless syllables took on significance and passed back into nonsense.
Insights profound as love and sleep moved through him, and left him filled with
a terrible awe. The sky was an ocean, and the flow filled the space between
stars. He followed the flow for hundreds or thousands of years, swimming
between the stars, his belly heavy with generations yet unborn, searching for
refuge, for someplace safe, away from pursuit, where he could hide and
fulfill his destiny. And behind him, relentlessly pursuing, was something black
and ominous, calling out to him in a voice at once terrible and seductive.
Ramon tried not to listen to that terrible voice, tried not to let it pull him
back. The beauty of the flow, the power of it, the deep and wordless promise;
he fought to fill his mind with this and not think of the thing behind him, the
thing that was reaching out toward him, dead tendrils still stinking with
blood. Only the act of thinking itself gave the thing power; awareness of it,
even in the act of repudiation, gave it reality.
Then, still dreaming, something
caught him. A powerful eddy threw him in a direction he could not name, back to
the dim, hellish place from which he had struggled to escape.
Abruptly, there was a dead sun
above him, hanging gray in an ashen sky. This was his home, the place of his
hatching, his source, as rivers sprang from a glacier. His heart was tight with
dread; he knew what was coming and also did not.
Around him were alien forms,
familiar as lovers. The great pale beast in the pit that had counseled him
before this desperate hunt began. The small, bluish forms of kait eggs,
now destined never to hatch. Yellow-fringed mahadya and half-grown ataruae
still bent at the spine. (These were not words that Ramon knew, and yet he
knew them.) All of the young beyond redemption, crushed, lifeless. He was
Maneck, athanai of his cohort, and these dead that touched him, that
polluted the flow, were his failing. His tatecreude was
unfulfilled, and each of these beautiful things had fallen into illusion
because he had failed to bear the weight of truth.
With a sorrow as profound as any
Ramon had ever felt - more than the loss of his mother and his Yaqui father,
more than the heartbreak of first love - he began to eat the dead, and with
every corpse that he took into himself, he became less real, more lost in aubre
and sin, more fully damned.
But there was no end of them.
With every tiny body he consumed, they killed a thousand more. The
screaming blackness that had followed him in flight began here, opened here
like a box whose lid lifted forever, continually revealing the horror that
would never end. The eaters, the flowless ones, the enemy. They saw the great
boulder-shaped bodies, heard the strange piping voices raised in praise of the
slaughter, saw the hatchlings lifeless and crushed beneath the vast machines.
Ships hung in the air like birds of prey.
I know that ship, Ramon thought. Ramon only, and
not Maneck. I’ve been on that ship.
With a shriek that was both his
and Maneck’s, Ramon awoke.
Maneck crouched beside him, its
long arms lifting him with something between tenderness and anger.
‘What have you done?’ the alien
whispered, and, as it did, it seemed somehow less alien, lost and frightened
and alone.
‘Yes, gaesu,’ Ramon
mumbled, hardly knowing what he was saying. ‘Prime contradiction! Very bad.’
‘You should not have been able to
use the sahael this way,’ Maneck said fretfully. ‘You should not have
been able to drink of my flow. You are diverging from the man. It
threatens our function. You will not do this again, or I will punish you!’
‘Hey,’ Ramon said, shaking his
head, coming back to himself with a start. ‘You’re the one who put this fucking
thing in my neck! Don’t blame me.”
Maneck blinked its strange orange
eyes and seemed to settle back, subtly defeated. ‘You are correct,’ Maneck
said, after a long pause. ‘Your language allows for deception, but your
participation in my flow was not willed. The failure is mine. I am sick and
injured, or I would not have lost control of the sahael. Still, the
fault is mine.’
Its voice surprised and confused Ramon.
Still deep and sorrowful, there was something else in it - a sense of regret
and dread that couldn’t have come entirely from Ramon’s imagination. He
wondered whether the sahael was still leaking some signal from the alien’s
mind into his own. Ramon felt as if he’d walked in on a weeping man. In his own
discomfort, he shrugged.
‘Don’t let it bother you,’ he
said. ‘It wasn’t something you meant to have happen either.’
‘You must not diverge any
further,’ Maneck said, almost pleadingly. ‘Your mind is twisted and alien. And
that is as it should be. You will cease to diverge from the man. You
will not integrate with me any further. We will wait here and hunt him. If he
does not reach his hive, there will be no gaesu. You must not diverge
any further.’
‘I won’t, then. Don’t worry. I’m
still plenty twisted and alien.’
Maneck didn’t reply.
Around them, the sounds of night
slowly began to return as the animals and insects frightened by their raised
voices began tentatively to return to their songs and courtships and hunts. It
occurred to Ramon to wonder whether the other Ramon had heard, if he was close
enough to know now that the coring charges hadn’t finished off his pursuers.
But for that to be true, he would have to be very close, and Ramon and Maneck
had slept through most of the night, unmolested by anything other than jabali
and ugly dreams. The other Ramon would not have missed a chance to attack
them in their sleep - he would not have - and so he must not be that
close. He was still out there in the forest somewhere, and the job of hunting
him down was still ahead of them. But, as he now knew, theirs was not the only
hunt.
‘The Silver Enye,’ Ramon said,
tentatively. ‘The big, ugly boulder-shaped things.’
‘The eaters-of-the-young,’ Maneck
said.
‘They’re what you’re hiding from.’
‘It is better if this does not
affect your function,’ Maneck said. ‘It must not inform your action.’
‘Don’t fucking diverge, I got it.
But I’m the guy who can tell you about being a man, and I say that if you tell
me, it’ll help.’
‘There has been too much
participation already,’ Maneck began, but Ramon cut it off.
‘I know enough that I’ll be
spending all my time guessing. Men, they make sense of the universe. They make
stories about it and then see if they are right. It’s what we do. Like I
thought there was something interesting about that mountain, and I was fucking
right, wasn’t I? So if you tell me, I can stop wondering. If you don’t, it’s
all I’ll do.’
Maneck’s quills fluttered in a
pattern that Ramon recognized as akin to resignation.
‘They came to us, to the planet
that spawned the first of us. For many generations, they appeared to be siyanae;
their proper function appeared to flow in channels compatible with our
own. We were not aware of the divergence until…’
‘Until they started killing you,’
Ramon said.
‘Their tatecreude expressed
in crushing the hatchlings. Of the ten billion of our kii, fewer than a
hundred thousand survived. The eaters-of-the-young would enact rituals with
the bodies. It seemed to offer them pleasure. We saw no function in it. It is
necessary to our function that we exist, and so those that remained followed
the channels which did not include the eaters-of-the-young. Of the six hundred
ships, we are aware of three hundred and sixty-two which failed to isolate themselves
from the flow of the enemy. Four came here and engaged in stillness. The others
we cannot speak to. Their function has entered a place of niedutoi. If
it is part of their tatecreude, it will be made clear once we have
achieved conjugation. If it is not, then the illusion of their existence will
not be acknowledged.’
Ramon sat on the ground at Maneck’s
feet. Tiny leaves tickled the palms of his hands as he leaned back. The soup of
alien thought and terminology had been less disturbing when he had been able to
comprehend none of it. Now, with every idea half making sense, every
untranslatable word on the verge of familiarity, it was worse than a headache.
‘They’ll kill you if they find
you,’ Ramon said. ‘The Enye. They’ll kill you.’
‘It would be consistent,’ Maneck
said.
‘You know they’re coming. The
galley ships. They’re coming here ahead of schedule.’
‘This is known. They have no need
for stillness. Their How is…compelling.’
‘So that’s why you have to stop
the man. Ramon. The other Ramon. If he goes to Fiddler’s Jump, he tells
everyone where you are, and the Enye…fuck! Those pendejos will come
down and eat you!’
‘It would be consistent,’ Maneck
said again.
A thousand questions swarmed in
Ramon’s mind. Were the human colonies sponsored by the Enye all secretly
hunting missions designed to flush out hives like Maneck’s? Were the Silver
Enye going to turn on humanity one day as they had with these poor alien sons
of bitches? If the hive were discovered, would the São Paulo colony have
accomplished its mission - fulfilled its function - and if it had, would the
Enye suffer it to continue? And what had the sahael done to him that
these things were even thinkable, these feelings possible? Where did Maneck
end and he, Ramon, begin? In his turmoil, he grabbed at a single question,
clinging to it as if everything hinged on its answer.
‘Why did they do it?’ he asked. ‘Why
did they turn on you?’
‘The nature of their function is
complex. Their flow has properties unknown to us. They were like us until they
were not. It had been our hope that you would reveal this to us.’
‘Me?’ Ramon coughed. ‘I didn’t
know it had happened until just now. How would I be able to tell you what those
mad pendejos were thinking?’
‘The man is of them,’ Maneck
said. ‘He participates in their function. You possess an understanding of
killing and of purpose. You kill as they kill. Understanding what drives your
killing would explicate the drive of theirs. The freedom of hard drink.’
‘We aren’t like that. I’m not
part of their fucking holocaust! I’m a prospector. I look for minerals.’
‘But you kill,’ Maneck insisted.
‘I do, but - ’
‘You kill your own kind. You kill
those who are most like you in function.’
‘That’s different,’ Ramon said.
‘In what manner does the
difference come?’
‘It wasn’t about being drunk.
That lets it get out of hand, maybe. It was something between the other guy and
me. But I didn’t eat his fucking kids.’
‘If we were to understand the
nature of the eaters-of-the-young and the expression of their tatecreude, we
might channel their flow back to its previous path,’ Maneck said, and Ramon
heard desperation in its tone. Even despair. ‘It might be possible to find a
new method of fulfilling their function. But I cannot find a plausible reason.’
Ramon sighed.
‘Don’t try,’ he said. ‘You’ll
only make yourself crazy. There’s no way to understand them. They’re fucking
aliens.’
* * * *
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Ramon surprised himself by going back to sleep, and was even more
surprised in the morning when he woke up and actually found himself leaning
against Maneck, who had sat stoically, unmoving, throughout the rest of the
night.
Before then, though, three times
before the sun rose, Ramon was assaulted in his dreams by memories. One was a
card game he’d played on the Enye ship during his flight out, away from Earth.
Palenki had been having a good day - there were fewer and fewer of those - and
had insisted that his crew come together and play poker. Ramon felt the
strangely soft, limp cards in his hands again. He smelled the high, acidic reek
of the Enye’s huge bodies and the ever-present undertone of overheated ceramic,
like a pan left empty on a heated stove. He’d beaten Palenki’s full house with
a straight flush. He remembered seeing the sick man’s delight falter and fail
when the cards came down, disappointment filling the old prospector’s eyes like
dry tears. Ramon regretted that he hadn’t folded without showing.
That was the only memory that
seemed related to his strange interaction with the alien’s mind. The other two
were mundane moments - first, bathing in a hotel in Mexico City before going
off to a brothel, and second, a meal of river fish encrusted in black pepper he’d
eaten shortly after his arrival on São Paulo. In each case, the memory was so
vivid that it was as if he had momentarily stopped living in the present and
begun to live again in the past, as if he was actually there rather than
here, sitting on his butt on the grass in the middle of a chilly night next to
an alien monstrosity. Each time he woke for a second to see Maneck sitting next
to him, still as a statue, and he got the impression that it knew what was
happening to him, but it offered no advice on how best to accommodate this
intrusive blooming of the past. Ramon didn’t ask. It was his mind coming back
to the way it should be, and that was all. Still, he wondered how many years it
had been since the other Ramon had thought of that card game.
The daymartins were singing their
low, throbbing song as the eastern sky lightened from star-filled blackness to
a dimmer charcoal, and then at last to the cool light of morning. Something
squawked and fled when Ramon rose to go for water. Whatever it was, it had
snuck in and gnawed silently on the corpse of the jabali rojo in the
night. Tenfin birds and whirlygigs flew through the trees, shouting at one
another and fighting over places for their nests, food, mates to bear their
children. The same petty struggles of all life, everywhere. Larger beasts,
hoppers and fatheads, came to the stream’s edge, glanced incuriously at him,
and drank from the water. Fish leaped and fell back. He felt himself relax as
he watched it all, able to forget for a moment what he was, what his forced
mission was, and how bleak were his hopes.
Then back to the camp, to eat
more sug beetles, make the usual review of his biological functions for the
alien, and prepare himself for the hunt. Maneck’s skin was still ashy, but the
oil-swirls were beginning to reappear. Its stance remained low to the ground,
its movements careful and pained. Ramon wished he knew enough to judge how
serious the alien’s injuries were - if it were just going to keel over at some
point, there was no need to make elaborate plans to escape. On the other hand,
suppose he found he couldn’t free himself from the sahael after Maneck
was dead? How horrible to be shackled to the alien’s rotting corpse until he
starved to death himself! Or perhaps if Maneck died, he would die - they
shared physical impulses through the sahael, after all. He’d never
thought of that before, and it was unsettling. Still, given the opportunity, he’d
take his chances…
When it had grown light enough,
Ramon and Maneck rose without consulting each other and set off again, moving
downstream. The other Ramon’s path tracked toward the north, though Fiddler’s
Jump was far to the south. Perhaps he hoped to throw off the pursuit by taking
the less likely route. Or perhaps he expected to find better wood for a raft
there. Or perhaps there was some other reason that Ramon had not yet fathomed.
They walked in silence, only the
crackling of old leaves and needles under their feet to compete with the
whooping calls of anaranjada, the scolding of flatfurs, the chittering
chorus of vinegar crickets. It was midmorning before they came to a game path
running through the trees. The soft, fibrous spoor of the kyi-kyi told Ramon
that the antelope-like beast had been by within the last day, and likely the
last few hours. These would have been good hunting grounds, he thought, and
felt a stir of unease whose source he couldn’t quite identify.
Ramon guessed that they would
reach the river itself before nightfall. The other Ramon was bound to be close.
He guessed that it would have taken him three days to make a decent raft, if he
had the right tools; axe, wood, rope. And all his fingers, of course. The other
Ramon was going to be working at a disadvantage, but…
But the smart thing would be to
slap together something third-rate - a raft barely strong enough to float -
and use it to flee further downriver. Once he had more distance, the man could
afford to spend the time to make something sturdy. It would be a balancing act,
speed on one hand against the danger of trusting himself to something so flimsy
that it came apart in the water. Ramon walked, trying to remain silent, and
wondered what risks he would have taken in the other man’s place.
It was a tug deep in the flesh of
his neck that brought his mind back to Maneck.
The alien had stopped. Its hot
orange eye looked dull. The red, swollen eye had darkened like congealing
blood. Its skin, neither ashen nor displaying the slick dancing patterns it had
first had, was the matte texture of drawing paper and the color of charcoal.
‘We must pause,’ Maneck said. ‘We
must regain our strength.’
Ramon felt a stab of annoyance.
There wasn’t time for this. But it was also a sign that Maneck was weak. The
devil wasn’t shrugging off the injuries from the other Ramon’s trap. That, at
least, was a good sign. Maneck might still be armed, but it wasn’t
invulnerable. If the other Ramon could only find a way to break the alien’s
hold on him, then together they could destroy it.
Ramon pursed his lips. There was
a tightening in his chest that he didn’t like. Not illness, but regret. The
memory of the kii crushed beneath the powerful Enye returned to him. As
the hours passed, the memory of the dream he’d had the night before was fading,
the sadness becoming not an emotion, but the memory of one. The conviction he
had felt that any price would be justified if it turned aside the horror
of gaesu also faded, but did not vanish. It was Maneck’s thought,
not his, and he knew it. That didn’t stop him from feeling the urgency of it,
though.
‘All right, monster,’ Ramon said.
‘We rest. But only for a few minutes. We don’t have much time.’
The alien considered Ramon, its
quills stirring in a way that made Ramon think it was both amused and
exhausted, then trudged to the wide, thick trunk of a fire-oak with leaves as
wide as Ramon’s two hands together and bark that collapsed with a sound like
packing foam when Maneck leaned against it. Ramon hunkered down beside the game
path, rubbing his chin and staring out into the forest. It was strange to have
gone so long without a shave. Normally by now his whiskers would have been
getting almost long enough to go from prickly to nearly soft. Instead, his neck
and chin sprouted a kind of weak fuzz, like he was twelve years old again. He
opened his robe and considered the scar where Martin Casaus had sliced him with
the sheet metal hook. The pale line was wider now than it had been, but still
not the ropy, puckered scar that it had been before the aliens got hold of him.
The machete scar on his elbow was still hardly more than a lump under the skin.
It was growing, though. He was becoming the man that he remembered being. And
at least he could still grow whiskers. The pinche aliens hadn’t turned
him into a woman.
I’m still going to kill you
fuckers for this, Ramon thought. But even though he had the intent and the
focus, his rage seemed more distant; like something he had chosen to
feel more than something that actually possessed him. It felt like being in
love with Elena. Familiar, but hollow.
‘What are you going to do with
me,’ Ramon asked. ‘When this is over. When you kill the man, what happens to me?’
‘Your tatecreude will be
complete,’ Maneck said.
‘So what happens to someone when
their tatecreude is complete?’
‘Your language is flawed. To have
completed tatecreude is to return to the flow.’
‘I don’t know what that means,’
Ramon said.
‘Once our function is fulfilled,
we will return to the flow,’ it said
Suddenly, with a flash of insight
intense enough that he wondered if it partook of the two-way flow through the sahael,
he knew what would happen to them both: They would die. They would be
reabsorbed into the ‘flow’, whatever that was. Once they had fulfilled their tatecreude,
they would have no reason for existing any more, like tools that were
disposed of once the job they were needed for was done.
Perhaps Maneck was content to
submit to that fate, perhaps the alien even welcomed it, but, as far as Ramon
was concerned, that was another good reason to escape as soon as possible. ‘Whatever
you say,’ he said wearily.
Ramon found that resting was more
pleasant than he’d expected. He was more tired than he thought he’d be. But
then, he had marched all the previous day after nearly being killed in an
explosion. He’d slept poorly. And perhaps Maneck’s distress was carried over in
some alien fashion through the still bruise-colored sahael.
The connection between Maneck’s
people and the Enye haunted him, but he found it difficult to wrap his mind
around it in any meaningful way. A war that crossed stars, that lasted through
centuries, possibly millennia. A vendetta against Maneck’s kind that had no
discernible reason, that employed the human race as a tool.
They had always been hunting dogs
for demons. Mikel Ibrahim, Martin Casaus, Ramon himself. Everyone, always. Dogs
sent into the bush to flush out Maneck and beings like him. It was as deep a
change of his view of the world as the curious fact of his twinning, but this
time he didn’t have the alien injunction not to diverge. He was free to think
anything of this that he saw fit, and discovered that a small-time independent
prospector fleeing from the governor’s constabulary wasn’t the right man to
make sense of it all. It only made his head ache.
Instead, he wondered what Elena
was doing now. It had to be near noon, and…how many days since he’d snuck out
of her apartment before dawn? A week? More than that? He wasn’t even certain of
the day anymore. He wasn’t religious. Sunday mostly meant that the bars were
closed. So perhaps this was a weekday, and she’d risen with the sun, showered,
pulled on her dress, and gone to work.
He noticed with detachment that
he had never fucked around on Elena. He’d killed men, he’d lied, he’d stolen.
He’d beaten Elena and been attacked by her, but he hadn’t frequented the whores
down by the port when they were together. Even when they’d had a fight, he hadn’t
taken up with other women.
Elena would have killed him and
any woman he slept with, for one thing. And also, the prospect of finding a
woman who would think Ramon worthy of her attention, much less of her body,
filled him with either a sick dread that came from years of rejections or the
quiet aloofness that sprang from the anticipation of refusal. But besides all
that, and to his surprise, Ramon found that it was simply not something that a
real man did. Fuck women who were for hire, yes. Tempt your friend’s woman away
from him, certainly. See more than one woman, yes if you were the kind of lucky
sonofabitch who could juggle girlfriends that way. But cheat on your woman once
she’d become your woman? That, somehow, was crossing the line. Even when the
woman was a crazed weasel in human skin like Elena. Even when you didn’t love
her, or even like her very much, it wasn’t something a real man did.
Ramon coughed out a laugh. Maneck’s
turtle head rose and swung toward him, but apparently there wasn’t enough mirth
in Ramon’s laugh to bring the wrath of the sahael.
‘Turns out I’ve got morals,’
Ramon said. ‘I wouldn’t have thought so.’
‘And this sound. It was an
expression of surprise?’
‘Yeah,’ Ramon said. ‘Something
like that.’
‘And what is the reason for
displaying the food in a tree branch? Would it not be better to consume it?’
Ramon frowned his confusion, and
Maneck gestured toward the crotch of the tree under which they sat. There,
wrapped in leaves that almost obscured the blood, was the skinned body of a
flatfur. Ramon shifted the sahael over one shoulder and climbed up to look
at the corpse. It was like the one he had found by the lake. Hidden, but hidden
poorly. He was a little disconcerted that he hadn’t noticed it himself.
Scavengers would find it by its scent, the way they had found the jabali
rojo that Maneck had killed. Ramon’s twin was doing something. But…
With a feeling of connection that
was almost physical, he understood. He remembered Martin Casaus, back in the
early days when they’d been friends. The drunken stories he’d told of trapping chupacabras,
using fresh meat as bait to lure them into a pit…
‘That cocksucking son of a whore,’
Ramon said under his breath, and then dropped back down to the ground. ‘That pendejo’s
fucking insane!’
‘What do these words mean?’
Maneck demanded. ‘The display of the food is aubre?’
‘No, it’s got a function. That
bastard is leading us into a chupacabra’s range, and these things are
meant to draw it toward us.’
‘This chupacabra. It is
dangerous?’
‘Fuck yes. It’ll kill him if it
finds him.’
‘This would undermine his
function,’ Maneck said. ‘His actions lack meaning.’
‘No, they don’t. He knows we
lived through the blast. He’s seen us, and he knows we’re close enough that he
won’t have time to build a raft. He’s tired, he’s hurt, and he knows we’re
going to catch him. So he’s trying to put us in the same place as the chupacabra,
and hope that it kills us before it kills him. It’s a crazy risk to take,
but it’s better than giving up,’ Ramon said, and shook his head in admiration. ‘That’s
one tough cabron we’re up against!’
For a moment, Maneck’s shoulders
rose in confusion, but then it seemed to understand what Ramon was saying and
feeling. Perhaps the sahael had given the alien some insight into human
perversity.
‘We will find the man before this
happens,’ Maneck said, rising to its full height.
‘We’d fucking better,’’ Ramon
said.
* * * *
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
For two more days, Ramon and Maneck trekked through the forest,
the man leading the way and the alien at his heels. They paused for Ramon to
eat and drink, and to piss and shit, but rested only at night. The other Ramon
had made perfunctory camps, sleeping in the hollow of a lightning-struck
milkpine one night and in a poorly constructed lean-to the next. The fire pit
and well-built shelter of the earlier campsites were gone, and Ramon
understood why. His twin was truly on the run. They were down to the final
sprint.
They found three more flatfurs
along the path, and Ramon was fairly sure they had overlooked several others.
The path they traveled would reek of blood to the creatures of São Paulo. And
more and more often, Ramon saw signs of chupacabra; evil-smelling spoor
on the path, trees gouged by sharpened claws, and once, a distant call that was
equal parts solitude and murder.
Maneck remained distant and
reserved, but more comprehensible than it had been at first. With every night’s
rest, the alien seemed to gain strength and focus. None of the strange dreams
had troubled Ramon again, and the issues of tatecreude and killing, Enye
and genocide had come up in their conversation no more often than before.
Memories still flooded Ramon from time to time - moments from his childhood,
trivial events from his time in the Enye ship, and arriving on São Paulo. He
found that he was better able to ignore them if he intentionally kept his mind
on the path before him.
It was the middle morning of the
third day when the game path they had been following reached the river. The
great Rio Embudo. The river was almost too wide to see across - what had been a
thin ribbon seen from afar had stretched into a clear expanse of glacier-cold
water, fast and smooth. Trees pressed up to the banks, exposed roots trailing
into the flow like thick fingers. No human footprints marred the muddy bank,
but Ramon didn’t doubt that the other one had been at this place, seeing this
same landscape. But how long before? And where would he have gone from here to
construct his escape raft? Ramon considered the sunlight glittering on the
water’s surface and let his mind turn the problem over. If he had been here,
and free, fleeing the alien and dodging the chupacabra, what would he
have done?
Scratching his wispy beard, he
turned south and began plodding along the riverbank. Maneck followed without a
word, the sahael bobbing between them like a length of rope. The water
murmured softly. On another day, with some other errand, Ramon would have
stopped, perhaps dipped his bare feet into the river water, and enjoyed the
beauty of the place. As it was, his mind buzzed with a hundred different
questions; had his twin already finished some small raft and floated away to
the south, and what would Maneck do if they found the other Ramon, and how
large was a chupacabra’s territory anyway? He spoke about none of it,
only judging where best to place his feet and what angle to take around the
trees in order to keep the sahael from catching on a branch and tugging
at his throat.
There were fewer signs of his
twin now - no footprints, few small branches broken at the correct height for
a man to have done the damage. It wasn’t that the other Ramon had become more
careful, but the river drew forest animals to its banks to obscure any more
human traces. There would be more kyi-kyi here. More salt rats and alces
negros. The mud banks they passed showed the marks of thin hooves,
wide-slung soft toes, the tiny bird-like cuneiform of tapanos and stone
kites. The river at their side was teeming with life. The planet was alive
around them. They were two aliens marching through a world they didn’t belong
to. Three aliens, if he counted the other Ramon.
The river bent lazily to the
east, offering Ramon a majestic view of the water and the distant forest on the
far bank but restricting what he could see of the path up ahead. He paused,
squatted beside a fallen iceroot, and spat. Maneck came looming up beside him
and stopped.
‘The man is not here,’ Maneck
said. Its voice likely carried across the water like a distant landslide.
‘He’s here. Somewhere.’
‘He may have gone against the
flow of the river,’ Maneck said. ‘If we are searching in the wrong direction,
then we will be unable to find him.’
‘Then he’ll be floating on by,
won’t he? That’s why I’m holding close to the bank. So we can see him if he
passes.’
The alien was silent.
‘You hadn’t thought of that,’
Ramon said.
‘I am not an apt tool for this
purpose,’ Maneck said. The quills on his head shifted in something akin to
despair.
‘You’re doing fine,’ Ramon said. ‘But
if we don’t find this pendejo before sundown, we’re going to have a problem.
He’ll have the chance to - ’
The sound was like something
falling; the rattle of leaves, the faintest hush of moving air. The beast burst
from the trees in near silence. It wasn’t until Maneck turned toward it that
the chupacabra bared its teeth and shrieked.
Ramon had seen pictures of chupacabras
before - even once held the scaled pelt of what must have been a young
member of the species. Nothing he had seen had prepared him for the reality of
the creature that faced him now. As tall as a man, and perhaps twelve feet
long, its limbs were engines of power and speed.
Black claws tipped its almost
hand-like paws, and the wide mouth - lips drawn back to the deep red gums - seemed
too small for the doubled rows of teeth. Its eyes were not the red glow of the
parade float, but pure black. The predator stink of it, rotted meat, animal
musk, and old blood, rushed on ahead of it like a wave.
Maneck’s arm shifted, and energy
exploded on the chupacabra’s breast. The screaming cry rose to a higher
register, and the air suddenly filled with the stink of burning hair and flesh,
but the shot wasn’t enough to stop the beast, and its attack didn’t falter. The
chupacabra crashed into the alien, and, for the first time, Maneck
seemed small. Ramon backed instinctively into the water until the sahael tugged
at his neck, unable to take his eyes from the whirling tangle that was alien
clashing with alien. His mind was empty with fear, his own high voice squeaking
out the Pater Noster without realizing it.
Through the sahael, he
could feel Maneck’s body grappling with the chupacabra, exerting
every last bit of strength it possessed. It was not as hopelessly uneven a
struggle as it would have been had Maneck been human - the chupacabra was
stronger and heavier, but not so much so that Maneck was completely without a
chance. Both Maneck and Ramon screamed in agony when the thing raked its claws
down Maneck’s side. But then Maneck’s long arms found some purchase. The chupacabra’s
battle calls shifted, becoming at first alarmed and then agonized as Maneck
hugged it close, its cable-like arms squeezing the air from the predator’s
lungs. Ramon could hear the chupacabra’s ribs crack, hear it gasp in
pain, and, for a moment, he felt a surge of amazed hope that they would win.
But then the chupacabra writhed
and twisted, its legs flailing. A claw pierced Maneck’s wounded eye, and
unbearable pain radiated down the sahael into Ramon’s flesh. He and the
alien cried out as one. The chupacabra bounded back and landed on all
fours, already bunched to spring again. Ramon felt Maneck’s distress echoing
his own. The chupacabra leapt, and Maneck fired another blast of energy.
The bolt went wide, and the impact of the chupacabra’s hurtling body
knocked Maneck back. Now it was the chupacabra with its arms locked
around Maneck, its thick rear legs digging at the alien’s legs and belly with
long, saber-sharp claws. Ramon screamed in agony, pulling at the flesh of the sahael,
as if he could rip the leash free.
And to his astonishment, Ramon felt
movement in his throat - a loosening, like tendrils of metal withdrawing from
his bones and nerves. His experience of Maneck’s pain lessened, his doubled
consciousness faded. With a disturbing slithering sound, the sahael pulled
away from him, and turned, snake-like, to whip at the chupacabra. The
flickering exposed wires at the sahael’s end arced with energy as it
struck at the chupacabra, and the beast screamed in pain, but Maneck
seemed to be weakening, and nothing that had happened so far had significantly
slowed the chupacabra’s relentless attack. Ramon, standing thigh-deep in
the icy river water, bent to find some stones to throw at the beast - then came
to his senses.
He was free, and once the chupacabra
had killed Maneck, he would be next. This was no time to fight. This
was the time to flee.
He took a great breath and dove,
kicking as hard as he ever had, moving with the current. The sounds of battle
vanished as his ears filled with water. Beneath the river’s glittering surface,
bright green fish swam, unconcerned with the violence on the shore. Fine golden
filaments rose from the muck at the bottom and were bent by the water as if
they pointed the way to the sea. Ramon was careful to swim well above the
golden threads; they could sting as bad as jellyfish. When he came up for air,
he had already covered at least a hundred meters, and the howls of the chupacabra
were already fading behind him. He took a fresh lungful and dove again.
His first impulse was to set out
for the opposite bank, but seconds after he’d had the thought, he abandoned it.
The water was hardly warmer than the ice that had spawned it, and adrenaline
would do little to stave off hypothermia. Crossing the river would be suicide.
Ramon angled back for the near shore and realized as his arms flailed and
clawed at the current that he was already in trouble. The fast river flow had
pulled him around the bend, but it had also taken him farther from the bank
than his own efforts could have. He rose again, treading water and borne along
like a cork. He could hear no sound of the struggle. The fight was either ended
or he was far enough away that the sound of it was drowned out by his
splashing. He turned his head, blinking hard to clear his eyes, and found the
shore. His heart sank.
Come on, Ramon, he told himself.
You’re a tough pendejo. You can do this thing.
He turned himself toward the
riverbank and started swimming as hard as he could perpendicular to the flow.
The river plants and streamers of moss below him were his guides as he pushed
himself toward the uncertain safety of land. His feet and hands stung and soon
went numb. His earlobes ached. His face and chest grew thick-fleshed and
rubbery, but he pushed on. He couldn’t die out here. He had to reach the shore.
It was his goddamn tatecreude.
He focused on moving his body -
legs kicking, arms and hands scooping at the water. Time lost its meaning. He
might have been swimming for three minutes or an hour or his whole life. The
chill was deadly, and he could feel it knifing into him. He faltered once,
seduced into thinking he needed a moment’s rest.
He was dead. The only reason to
keep trying was stubbornness, and Ramon Espejo was a very stubborn man. Even
when he was hardly doing more than floating, he pushed his mouth free of the
water and gulped one more breath. And then one more. And then one more. His
mind began to fade, and he recalled his dream of being one with the river, of
becoming the flow itself. Perhaps that would not be so bad after all. Just one
more breath so he could think about it. Then one more.
It was a sandbar that saved him.
The river widened, its eastern half becoming shallow as it broadened. Driftwood
rose from the sand like the antlers of some nightmare beast. Ramon found an
ancient log standing at an angle from the water. He crawled up its black, slimy
side and held it like it was a lover. He was too cold to shiver. That wasn’t
good. He had to get out of the water. The river still lapped at his knees, and
his feet were numb. Ramon bit down on his lip until he tasted blood, the pain
focusing his mind.
He had to reach the shore. Then
get dry, and then hope that the sun would warm his flesh. There was enough
debris on the sandbar that he could move from one support to another; it seemed
as if anything that went into the water upstream ended up caught here. The
danger was that he might slip, fall into the water, and lack the will to rise
again. He had to be careful.
With a deep breath, Ramon pushed
his blackwood lover away and stumbled to a small dam of branches that had been
laced together with ivy and strips of bark. Then from that to a low stone. Then
another slime-slick log. And then the water was no higher than his ankles.
Ramon trudged slowly to dry land. He collapsed on the ground, laughed weakly,
and vomited up what seemed like several liters of river water. His alien
garments were sodden and heavy, the shoes kicked off somewhere in the river.
Fingers clumsy as sausages, he pulled the clothing from his skin and lay back
naked, trying with the last of his conscious will to angle himself toward the
sun.
It wasn’t sleep that took him,
but neither was it death, because sometime later his mind re-formed and he
struggled to sit up. The sun had moved the width of three hands together,
lowering toward the western sky. His teeth were chattering like a badly tuned
lift tube. His hands and feet were blue, but not black. The alien robe he had
cast aside was dry and sun-warmed. He pulled it on awkwardly and sat, arms
around his knees, laughing and weeping. His neck where the sahael had
entered him felt unnaturally hot. The skin there was smooth as river stone and
numb as a witch’s mark. Ramon rubbed his fingertips over the insertion point
and let the reality of his situation sink into him. He had made it. He was
free. He looked out over the water with a sense of glee and disbelief. He’d
done it!
It didn’t occur to him that the
mesh of branches tied together on the sandbar were anything odd until he heard
the sharp intake of breath behind him and turned to see a surreal and familiar
sight. The other Ramon stood at the tree line. His chest was bare, his trousers
ripped into rough shorts. Dark hair rose crazily from his head. His right hand
was wrapped in a bandage black with dried blood and his left gripped the old
field knife, Ramon’s field pack slung over one sunburned shoulder. Of course.
He’d made a raft; the branches out there hadn’t wrapped themselves with bark.
And now the flow of the river and the cruel irony of the gods had brought both
Ramons to the same place at the same time, caught up on the same sandbar.
He rose slowly, unsteadily,
trying not to startle his twin. He raised a hand in greeting, fear closing his
throat. His twin took a step back, eyeing him balefully.
‘Who the fuck are you?’ the man
said.
* * * *
PART THREE
* * * *
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Ramon’s mind was slow to react. He had to answer, but none of the
things that came to his lips were the right thing. I’m Ramon Espejo and I’m
you and Why should I tell you who I am, pendejo? He felt his mouth
open and close, and saw the shock in his twin’s eyes shift to something else,
something more dangerous. The other man’s grip on his knife tensed.
‘Aliens!’ Ramon spat out. ‘There’s
fucking aliens out there! They took me prisoner. You’ve got to help me!’
It was the key. The other man’s
tension eased a little. His head turned and he looked at Ramon measuring him,
his eyes still radiating mistrust but no longer on the edge of violence. Ramon
leaned forward, moving slowly and being careful to do nothing that might
startle the other man.
Ramon looked at him closely for
the first time, feeling an odd fascination. After all, in spite of his memories
to the contrary, this was the first human being he’d ever actually met! His
twin was filthy and unkempt - the light stubble that often darkened his chin
was already a moth-eaten beard. Distrust shone in his black eyes. His right
hand was wrapped in bloody cloth, and Ramon realized, with a profound sense of
vertigo, that in that mess of soiled bandages, a finger was missing. A finger
from which he had been born.
But the other Ramon also looked wrong
somehow. He had expected it to be like looking into a mirror, but it was
not. The face he was accustomed to seeing reflected back was different than
this. It was more like seeing a video recording of himself. Perhaps, he
thought, his features were not so symmetrical as he’d liked to believe. Also,
the voice was higher than he believed his own to be and slightly whiney. The
voice he heard and hated when he heard himself recorded. The other Ramon’s
bearded chin jutted aggressively.
What did he look like in
his twin’s eyes? Finer hair. Fewer lines and creases in his skin. No scars and
thin whiskers. He would appear to be a younger man. And if the other Ramon didn’t
already feel that he was seeing himself, there was no reason for him to suspect
what the aliens had done. Ramon’s advantage was that he knew what had happened,
who he was, and all that the other man knew. The other man’s advantage was that
he hadn’t half drowned. And he had a knife.
‘Please,’ Ramon said, searching
for things he could say that would make him seem more plausible. ‘I’ve got to
get back to Fiddler’s Jump. You got a van?’
‘I look like I have a fucking
van?’ the other man said, raising his arms out at his sides like Christ
crucified. ‘I’ve been running from those fucking things for a week. How is it
you came to get loose from them just here and now, eh?’
It was a good question. They
weren’t near the alien hive, and the timing was too convenient. Ramon licked
his lips.
‘It’s the first time they took me
out,’ Ramon said, deciding to keep as near the truth as he could. ‘They were
holding me in a tank. Under a mountain up north of here. They told me there was
someone they were hunting. I think they were using me. Seeing what I could eat
and like that. I think maybe they didn’t know much. You know. About people.’
The other man considered this.
Ramon kept his gaze away from the knife. Better that neither of them think of
it. He heard himself going on, his voice thin and shrill. He sounded afraid.
‘i tried to fight against them,
but they had this thing. In my neck. Right here, you can see where it went in.
If I did anything they didn’t like, they shocked me. I’ve been walking for
days. Please, man, you can’t leave me here.’
‘I’m not going to leave you here,’
the other man said. There was disgust in his voice. Disgust and perhaps
superiority. ‘I’ve been running from them too. They blew up my van, but I had a
few tricks. Fucked them up pretty good!’
‘That was you?’ Ramon said,
trying to make his voice sound admiring instead of false. ‘You’re the one that
blew up the yunea?’
‘The what?’
You only get one slip like that,
Ramon told himself. Hold it together, cabron. At least until you have
the knife.
‘The flying box thing. That’s
what they called it.’
‘Uh,’ the other man said. ‘Yeah.
I’m the one. I saw you, too. I was watching.’
‘So you saw the thing they put in
my neck.’
The other man seemed reluctantly
to agree that Ramon’s story had some truth to it. Ramon could see it in the man’s
stance when he decided not to kill him.
‘How’d you get away?’ the other
man asked.
‘Chupacabra killed the alien. Came out of
nowhere. The leash came off while they were fighting, and I got out of there.’
The other man smiled to himself.
Ramon decided to let him think they hadn’t seen through his plan with the
flatfurs. Better that the other Ramon spend his time thinking how clever he
was, and how stupid everyone else could be.
‘What’s your name, anyway?’ the
other man asked.
‘David,’ Ramon said, pulling a
name out of the air. ‘David Penasco. I live down in Amadora. I’m a banker with
Union Trust. I was camping by myself, maybe a month ago. They took me when I
was sleeping.’
‘Union Trust’s got a branch in
Amadora?’ the other man asked.
‘Yeah,’ Ramon said. He didn’t
know if it was true, didn’t know if there was some other memory that hadn’t
grown back yet that would rip his story apart, so he plain bare-faced lied it
through and prayed. ‘Has been for about six months.’
‘Sonofabitch,’ the other man
said. ‘Well, get off your ass, David. We got work to do if we’re going to get
out of here. I got maybe a third of a raft finished. If there’s gonna be two of
us, you better get to work. Maybe later you can tell me what you know about
those pinche motherfuckers.’
The other man turned and started
walking back into the forest. Ramon followed.
The clearing was twenty meters or
so into the woods, and the man hadn’t bothered making shelter or a fire pit.
This wasn’t a place to live, it was a construction site. Four sheaves of
bamboo-like cane lay bound with strips of iceroot bark, the red skin of the cane
glittering as it died as if it had been lacquered. Pontoons, Ramon thought.
Laced together with thin branches and saplings young enough to be hewn with the
serrated back edge of the field knife, they would float. It wouldn’t be
anything near water-tight - the river would be splashing onto their legs and
asses the whole way down if they didn’t have something to cover the raft floor.
And the sheaves were too small and too loosely bound. It was damn impressive
for some crazed pendejo out by himself with a wounded hand and a demon
out of Hell trotting after him, but it wouldn’t get one of them to Fiddler’s
Jump, much less two.
‘What?’ the man said.
‘Just looking,’ Ramon replied. ‘We’re
going to need more cane. You want me to cut it? Just show me where you found it…’
The man considered the offer with
a pinched, sour face. Ramon knew the calculation going on behind those dark
eyes. Ramon - or David, whatever his name was now - was going to harvest faster
than the injured man himself, but it meant giving him the knife.
‘I’ll do it,’ the man said,
nodding toward the deeper forest farther from the river. ‘You go see if you can
find some good branches to put between them. And some food, maybe. Be back here
before sundown. We’ll try to get this sonofabitch ready to haul down to the
water in the morning.’
‘Yeah, okay,’ Ramon said. The man
spat and stalked off to the south, leaving him alone. Ramon scratched at his
elbow where the knot of scar tissue was growing back and turned to walk into
the gloom beneath the trees. He realized he’d never asked the man his name. Of
course he hadn’t; he already knew. The dread grew in him that the other Ramon
would think the omission strange. He had to be more careful.
The rest of the day was spent
dragging fallen branches and wide iceroot leaves back to the campsite and
making up the story he could tell his twin. He stopped once to crack open some
sug beetles and eat the raw flesh. Uncooked, they were saltier and the meat
slick and unpleasant. There wasn’t time, though, for anything more. He tried
not to wonder what had happened between Maneck and the chupacabra, which
of the two had lost and which was still under the roof of branches, hunting
him. It didn’t change what needed doing, so there was no point spending
valuable time on the question.
By sundown, he and his twin had
gathered another six sheaves and perhaps a third of the branches that they
would need to make the raft floor. The man seemed pleased by Ramon’s wide, soft
pile of iceroot leaves as well, though he didn’t go so far as to say it. Ramon
boiled a double handful of sug beetles and his twin roasted a cooper’s dragon -
one of the small, birdlike lizards that inhabited the low branches. The dragon
had an unnerving way of writhing as it cooked, as if the flesh were still
living even though both brains had been cut out and the thin, pale blood
drained from the body.
They made small conversation,
Ramon careful to ask the man’s name and background. Then they planned for the
next day - how to carry the branches and sheaves to the water for assembly, how
much more would need to be harvested, whether they needed to strip more bark to
use for rope.
‘You’ve done this before,’ the
man said, and Ramon felt a pang of distress. Maybe he’d come across as knowing
too much.
‘I explore a little. When I can.
Most of the time, I’m stuck behind a desk,’ Ramon said, trying to seem flattered.
‘Banking. You know. But the money’s good.’
‘You ever do any prospecting?’
‘No,’ Ramon said. ‘Just go out,
camp. Look around. You know. Get away from people for a while.’
The man’s expression softened a
little, as Ramon had known it would. He felt a twinge of guilt at playing on
the man’s feelings that way.
‘What about you?’ Ramon asked,
and his twin shrugged.
‘I spend a lot of time in the
field,’ he said. ‘Not much point staying in town. It’s a pretty good living, if
you know what you’re doing. A good season, I can pull in six, maybe seven
thousand chits.’
That was a gross exaggeration.
Ramon had never taken in more than four thousand, even at the best of times.
Two and a half was nearer the average, and there had been several seasons he
hadn’t managed more than a thousand. The man’s dark eyes seemed to challenge
him, so he shook his head, feigning amazement.
‘That’s really good,’ Ramon said.
‘It ain’t hard, you know what you’re
doing,’ the man said, settling back.
‘What happened to your hand?’
Ramon asked.
‘Fucking aliens,’ the man said,
and started to unwrap the blood-stiff cloth. ‘I was shooting at them, and my
gun blew up. Fucked me up pretty good.’
Ramon leaned close. In the firelight,
it was hard to see how much of the redness was the swollen flesh itself and how
much was reflected flames. The skin of the palm looked like taco meat that had
been left out overnight. Where the index finger had been was a rough stump, the
flesh burned and scarred to an oddly beautiful opalescent silver.
‘You cauterized it,’ he said. His
mind went back to the camp where he’d found his cigarette holder, where Maneck
had revealed to him the story of his doubling. This was why the man had spent
so long there. He’d been recovering from the self-treatment of his wound.
‘Yeah,’ the man said, and his
voice was casual and drawling in a way that Ramon knew meant that he was proud
of having done it. ‘I heated up the knife until it glowed and then used that. Had
to. I was bleeding all over the place. There was some bone I had to cut out
too.’
Ramon suppressed a smile. They
were tough sons of bitches, him and his twin. He couldn’t help feeling a little
proud of himself for what the other man had done.
‘Fever?’ he asked.
‘On and off,’ the man admitted. ‘No
streaks up my arm, though. So it looks like no blood poisoning. Or else I’d be
dead by now anyway, eh? So tell me about how you got caught by those devils.’
Ramon launched into his tale. A
little over a month ago, he’d been out camping by himself in the far north. His
lover, Carmina, had left him, and he’d wanted to spend some time alone where
she couldn’t find him and his friends couldn’t offer sympathy. He’d seen a
flying box, gone to investigate, and the aliens had done something - knocked
him out, drugged him. He didn’t remember much about that part. Then he’d been
imprisoned in a tank until they pulled him out and told him to go hunting. It
was a simple enough story to remember, and not so far from the truth that he’d
be likely to get caught flat-footed. And the other Ramon would likely sympathize.
He talked about the explosion that had ruined the yunea, the forced
march, the attack by the chupacabra, and his own escape. He pretended to
be amazed when the man explained the strategy behind the flatfur corpses. The
delight the other took in his own cleverness was annoying. If Ramon didn’t nod
or make appreciative noises at the right moment, his twin glared at him.
The whole thing was a
manipulation from start to finish. And it seemed to work. When Ramon explained
how he needed to be away from civilization, that the comfort offered by friends
was as painful and humiliating as being mocked, the man nodded to himself. And
when the tale was finished, he didn’t comment on it. He wouldn’t. It wasn’t the
sort of thing men did.
‘Sleep in shifts?’ the man asked.
‘Sure,’ Ramon said. ‘Probably
better that way. I’ll take first. I’m not tired.’
It was a lie. He was deeply
weary, but he’d had the period of unconsciousness that was almost like sleep
after he’d pulled himself from the river. The other Ramon hadn’t even had that.
And anyway, it was best to do the sorts of things that a banker from Amadora
would do to ingratiate himself to his rescuer.
The man shrugged and held out his
field knife. Ramon hesitated for a moment, then took it. The slightly sticky
feel of the leather grip, the balanced weight. It was familiar, and yet
different than he remembered it. A moment’s consideration told him that it was
his body that had changed; he’d never held it without calluses on his hands.
The other man misread his expression.
‘It’s not much,’ the man said. ‘It’s
all that we’ve got. Won’t fight off a chupacabra or redjackets, but…’
‘No trouble,’ Ramon said. ‘Thanks.’
The man grunted, lay down and
turned his back to the fire. Ramon tested the heft of the knife again, growing
used to it in his new hands. These unlikely companions he traveled with - men
and aliens - seemed to be pretty comfortable handing him knives. Maneck had
done it because it knew it was safe. The man had done it because he assumed
Ramon was an ally. It was a mistake he would have made himself. Obviously.
Ramon peered into the darkness,
careful not to let the light of their modest cookfire blind him to the shadows,
and considered his options. The man had accepted him for the time being. But it
was a long way to Fiddler’s Jump, and if what Maneck had said was true, Ramon
would grow to more closely resemble his old self before they got there. Sooner
or later, the man would figure out that something was wrong. And even if he
didn’t, Ramon didn’t know what he’d do when they got back to the colony. A
judge would be hard pressed to accept that he was the real, legal Ramon Espejo.
And the Enye might well decide that he should die along with Maneck’s people.
Nothing good would come from two Ramons walking out of the bush together.
The smart thing to do would be to
kill the man. He had a knife, his twin was snoring and wounded. One quick slice
to the neck, and the problem would be gone. He’d make his way south, resume his
life, and the other man’s bones would never be found. It was what needed to
happen.
And yet, he couldn’t do it.
Under what circumstances do you
kill, Maneck’s
question echoed in his memory. Ramon settled down for the long, slow hours of
his watch and found himself less and less able to answer the question.
At first light, they went back to
the work of building the raft. Ramon retied the cane floats, his two hands
cinching them tighter than his twin could manage. They considered how many
branches they’d need to finish the structure. It was a quick, easy negotiation.
Ramon and the other man approached the problem the same way, came to the same
conclusions. The only real difference was in his twin’s refusal to give over a
larger share of the work. It made sense that the uninjured man should bear the
heavier load, but his twin was bent on putting the soft-handed Amadora banker
in his place, and Ramon recognized the impulse clearly enough to know there was
no point arguing.
By noon, they had enough raw
materials to put the raft together. Ramon fashioned a rough harness from two
cut branches and a length of bright blue panama ivy and used it to haul the
cane and the branches down the short path to the water. The man allowed him
that much, bringing the armful of stripped bark and iceroot leaves instead.
Ramon figured it meant his twin was feeling tired.
The sandbar was smaller than
Ramon remembered it, but just as cluttered with debris. Without consulting the
man walking behind him, he pulled the load to the bank just downstream. The bar
created a still place in the waters. The eddy was a good place to test their
raft before they launched themselves out into the unforgiving flow.
Ramon shrugged off the harness
and squatted on the bank. In the still water, he could see himself reflected,
and his twin standing behind him. Two men, similar, but not yet identical.
Ramon’s growing beard was softer and lighter. His hair hung closer to his head
than it had before, changing the shape of his face a little. Still, they might
have been brothers. Since he knew to look for it, he could see where the moles
on his twin’s cheek and neck were echoed by minute discolorations on his own.
The scar on his belly twinged.
‘Not bad,’ the man said, and spat
thoughtfully into the water, the ripples disturbing its soft mirror. The raft
was going to be big. The lower gravity of São Paulo lent itself to fast-growing
trees, and rather than take the time to cut the long saplings twice, they’d
used them all at their full height. It wasn’t luxury, but there would be easy
room for them both. ‘We should put some shelter on it, though.’
‘Like a cabin?’ Ramon asked,
looking at the collection of sticks before him.
‘A lean-to. Something to sleep
in, get out of the weather. And if we got enough wood, we can add a fire grate,
too. Line the bottom with iceroot leaves, fill it a couple hands high with good
sand, and we can keep warm on the river.’
Ramon squinted at the man, then
upriver, back toward where Maneck and the chupacabra had done battle. He
tried to guess how long he’d been in the water, how far he’d swum. He couldn’t
be sure. It had felt like a long time, a huge distance. But he’d been on the
verge of death, so his impressions probably weren’t all that good.
‘Let’s put those on farther down
the river,’ he said. ‘I want to get away from here first.’
‘You scared?’ the man jeered. His
tone was taunting, and Ramon felt anger and embarrassment surge through him.
Ramon could see the frustration in the other man, the anger always simmering
under the skin, ready to be fanned awake, the desire to strike out and make
himself feel better by hurting someone, and felt its twin in his own breast. He’d
have to tread carefully here, or they’d end up in a fight neither could afford.
‘Scared to face down a pissed-off
chupacabra with a field knife and a stick?’ he said. ‘Anyone isn’t
scared of that’s stupid or crazy.’
The man’s expression hardened at
the insult, but he shrugged casually.
‘There’s two of us,’ he said,
turning half away from Ramon. ‘We could take him.’
‘Maybe,’ Ramon said, letting the
obvious lie stand. They could no more take down a chupacabra than flap
their arms and fly to Fiddler’s Jump. If he pressed it, though, they’d end up
fighting about it. ‘Thing is, what if the alien won?’
‘Against a chupacabra?’ the
man asked, incredulous.
It was easy to summon up the
bravado to say they could kill the beast, but hard to stretch the imagination
far enough to think that Maneck might win against the same odds. Ramon kept his
expression somber.
‘It was looking pretty even when
I got out of there,’ he said. ‘The alien had a gun of some kind, and it shot
the chupacabra at least twice; maybe that weakened it. I wasn’t going to
hang around to find out how it ended, you know? Besides, if the fucking alien
is still alive and still has that gun, we don’t want it catching up with us.’
‘Fine,’ the man said. ‘If it
makes you feel better, we’ll head downstream for a day or two. We can pull in
somewhere, add a lean-to and a fire pit. Maybe check the cane, make sure it’s
still tied tight enough.’
That was a dig. The man was still
smarting over Ramon insisting that he could tie the floats better with two
hands than his twin could with one.
Once Ramon would have risen to
the bait, taken offense, maybe pushed it into a fight, but not now. Fine, pendejo,
Ramon thought. Dig at me all you want. I know how scared you are too.
‘Good plan,’ was all he said.
Lashing the branches together and
binding them to the cane floats was long work, but not difficult. Ramon found
himself falling into a rhythm - setting the wood in place, tying it on one
side, then the other, then in the center where it crossed another branch. One,
two, three, four, then start again. He fell into the work, abandoning himself
to the sheer physicality of it. His hands and feet, unprotected by calluses,
hurt and blistered. He ignored the pain; it was just part of the package. If
the other man could cut away his own stump of a finger bone, Ramon could sure
as shit stand scraping up his palms a little.
His twin kept pace as best he
could, but the crippled hand slowed him badly. Ramon could feel the frustration
rising in the man as he struggled not to be shown up by a pinche banker.
As the sun dipped toward the treetops on the opposite shore, Ramon noticed,
with some satisfaction, that the other man’s bandage showed the bright red
tinge of new blood.
At the end, they laid the iceroot
leaves over the branches, tacking the broad, leathery fronds together until
they were like a carpet. Not wholly waterproof, but enough that they wouldn’t
be getting their asses wet with river water all the way south. The raft wasn’t
much to look at. There was no rudder, and only an improvised paddle to steer
with at the stern. It wasn’t more than two and a half meters square; it was a
decent size for a wrestling match, but as a way to travel, it would be pretty damn
close quarters. Still, all it had to do was stay on top of the big river long
enough for them to float down to Fiddler’s Jump. And when they dragged it out
into the lagoon, it floated high off the water, and when they both clambered
on, it felt solid and secure.
‘Not fucking bad, David,’ his
twin said. ‘You did a man’s job of it, eh?’
‘We did all right,’ he agreed. ‘You
want to get out of here?’
And as the words left his mouth,
they heard a sound - the distant gurgling cry of a chupacabra. It sounded
as if it were in pain. Ramon’s belly went tight, and the other man’s face was
pale.
‘Yeah,’ his twin said. ‘We might
as well get going.’ Ramon paddled them out from behind the sandbar and nearer
the center of the river where the current was fastest. The other man squatted
at the raft’s edge, looking back. Neither the beast nor Maneck emerged from the
forest, and the screaming call didn’t come again. Ramon, settling back to
steer, couldn’t help feeling they’d had a near miss. Another night on shore would
have ended badly for them. Maybe even another hour. It was a good fucking thing
that his twin had tried so hard to keep up. A good thing that Ramon hadn’t been
able to bring himself to kill the man in the night. One man would never have
been able to finish the raft alone in time.
But the sound of the predator -
even if it was in pain - also filled him with a strange melancholy. If the chupacabra
lived, then Maneck was dead. The athanai of his cohort had been
killed attempting to protect his people from the violence that had tracked them
across stars and centuries. And the creature who had frustrated Maneck’s tatecreude?
A jumped-up little monkey from the badlands of Mexico who’d stumbled on the
hive while running from the law, and who even now didn’t have any idea what the
consequences of his discovery would be. At least Maneck had died trying. Died
fighting. There was some honor in that, even if it had failed its people. In an
odd way that surprised and disquieted him, he found that he almost missed Maneck,
now that it was over, now that he was free. And in spite of all the pain it had
visited upon him, in spite of the hatred he’d felt for the alien at times,
Ramon couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret and sorrow at the thought of its
terrible death.
‘Still, better you than me,
monster,’ Ramon said under his breath. ‘Better you than me!’
* * * *
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The first night was the worst. The river was placid so far north,
so the only dangers were logs and debris floating invisibly in the dark water,
aquatic predators like bloody mormons and carracao, and the cold. They
were under no power, so unless the rocks or debris were stuck in the bed of the
river itself, chances of a damaging collision were slim, and they were too far
north to be in the range of most river predators. That left the cold. Once the
sun slipped behind the western trees, the river seemed to suck all warmth from
the air. Ramon was wearing the alien robe; warm enough, but too small to cover
his legs and arms both at the same time. The other man, however, had sacrificed
his shirt and the lower legs of his trousers to bandages and traps, so they’d
agreed that the man should take the one-piece alien garment. He was curled on
the iceroot leaves, wrapped tight and still shivering. There was no call to sleep
in shifts. The light of a near-full moon was too bright and the chill too
uncomfortable to allow for anything like sleep. Ramon considered pulling in to
shore for the night, but he didn’t suggest it. His twin would only take it as a
slight, and the man never made the suggestion himself. Besides which, Ramon
knew they were both anxious to get as much distance as they could between
themselves and the chupacabra. Ramon wondered how far a chupacabra’s range
was. Fifty kilometers came to mind, but he didn’t know where he got the figure
from. By morning, it would be safe to pull to the side. But perhaps they could
move to the western shore, just to be sure.
‘Hey. David,’ the other man said.
Ramon blinked back to full consciousness, only now aware how near he’d come to
dozing.
‘Yeah?’ he said, and coughed. He
hoped he wasn’t getting a cold. That would be just his luck.
‘You ever spend time in
Diegotown?’ the man asked.
Ramon fought to focus his mind,
looking over at the man. His twin was sitting up now, legs hugged to his chest.
His frown cut deep lines in his face. He looked both brutish and desperately
uncomfortable, but it was clear enough he’d been watching Ramon for awhile.
‘A little,’ he said. ‘Why?’
‘I think I’ve seen you someplace
before. What kind of things do you do in Diegotown?’
‘Business, mostly,’ Ramon said. ‘You
might have seen me around the governor’s Palace. You spend any time there?’ He
knew damn well he didn’t, so the other man’s shrug was expected. Ramon felt the
urge to echo the movement - it was the natural thing; the motion most familiar
to his flesh. It took an effort to shake his head and smile instead. ‘There was
a bar I went to a few times,’ Ramon said, not knowing why he was choosing the
embellishment until he’d already begun. ‘The El Rey. It was down by the
river. You ever go there?’
‘No,’ the other man said,
harshly. ‘I’ve never heard of that one.’
‘Huh,’ Ramon said. ‘Maybe I got
the name wrong. It had wood floors. And the guy who ran it was named Michael or
Miko or something like that. I got sick in the alley out back. There was one of
those shifting LED lights. I remember that.’
‘Don’t know the place. Maybe you’re
thinking of a bar in some other town.’
His tone made it clear that the
conversation was over, but in case Ramon hadn’t taken the hint, his twin
shifted, turning his back. Ramon permitted himself a smile and a shrug. He wasn’t
surprised the man had lied. If he’d met a stranger in the wild, he’d have been
wary of the subject too. It was a good conversation stopper.
And yet there was also regret.
His mind kept returning to the time before the fight, like a tongue exploring
the hole left by a missing tooth. Killing the European, he had that like he was
seeing it on a screen. But how exactly had things gone that far? He remembered
a pachinko machine. There had been a woman, her hair straightened to make her look
Asian, at the European’s side. He knew that the woman hadn’t been there because
she knew or liked the man; being with him had been some kind of work thing. But
he didn’t know how he knew that. He remembered her laugh - tight, short,
frightened.
How would he have explained to
Maneck that laughter could be more than what was funny? The alien wouldn’t have
understood that the same thing that people did when something was funny could
also be a way to express fear. To cry for help.
Ramon grabbed the thought, trying
to follow it back to some more solid recollection, but it swam away, just out
of his reach. Only his twin knew it, and Ramon had no way to ask.
They didn’t speak again until
shortly after dawn. Ramon and his twin agreed to move the raft across the river
and hug the western shore until they saw a good stand of cane. They could make
the pit out of anything thick enough to hold the dirt and sand that kept the
fire from burning the raft itself, but using cane would be the easiest way to
make a lean-to. And judging from the stars, the cane might start getting scarce
if they went much farther south.
They found a decent spot in the
middle morning, and Ramon gently paddled them to a landing. The impact with the
bank caused the other man to stumble slightly, but the raft held together just
fine. Ramon checked all the cane floats to be sure, but none of his knots had
come loose.
The other man cut cane for the
rest of the morning while Ramon rounded up food. It would have been easier with
a pistol, but there were a few sug beetles to be found and he managed to trap
three fat, mud-colored things that looked like a cross between crayfish and
eels. He didn’t know what they were, but the rule of thumb was that the
poisonous animals were brighter colored, so the eel-things were more likely to
be edible than not. Still, he might let the other man try them first.
When he found his twin, the man
was squatting on the ground, his head hung low. The field knife was in his hand
and pinked by the cane juice; it looked less like blood than some sort of
cherry sauce. The pile of cane on the shore was smaller than Ramon had
expected. Ramon cleared his throat hard enough to be heard over the water, and
the man’s head rose. The black eyes squinted at Ramon for a moment before his
twin lifted his chin in greeting.
‘Hey,’ Ramon said. ‘I got some
things. They’re probably good to eat. You seen these before?’
His twin shifted his focus to the
eel-things.
‘No,’ the man said. ‘But they’re
dead. So let’s cook them, eh?’
‘Right,’ Ramon said. ‘You okay,
man? You look tired.’
‘Didn’t sleep,’ his twin spat. ‘And
before that, I was running for my fucking life with nothing but what I had on
for a few days. And before that, I had my hand fucking blown up.’
‘Maybe we should take a day,’
Ramon said, dropping the dead creatures and holding his hand out for the field
knife. ‘Rest up, you know. Get our strength back.’
‘Fuck that,’ the twin said. He
shifted his gaze to Ramon’s outstretched hand.
‘I can’t gut these things with my
fucking fingernails,’ Ramon said. His twin shrugged, tossed the knife in the
air, catching it by the blade, and held it out grip first for Ramon to take. He
was fucked up, no question, but Ramon’s twin still had reflexes.
The eel-things had a simple
enough gut. Ramon cleaned out everything that didn’t look like muscle on the
theory that any weird digestive enzymes or venom sacs weren’t likely to be in
that tissue. He roasted them on a spit, and cooking they smelled like roast
beef and hot mud. The sug beetles, he boiled in the tin drinking cup from the
field kit. The other man sat at the riverside, looking out over the bright
water, his gaze empty. Ramon decided he’d try the eel-things first after all.
He carved off a sliver, placed it on his tongue, gagged, and threw the
eel-things still on their spit out into the river.
‘Sug beetles,’ he said. ‘We’re
having sug beetles.’
The other man looked up at him,
shading his eyes with his wrapped hand.
‘They’re here,’ his twin said.
‘Who?’ Ramon asked, but the man
didn’t answer. When Ramon followed his gaze, it was clear enough. Like hawks
riding the thermals in the high air. The great black galley ships.
The Silver Enye had returned to São
Paulo.
* * * *
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
After they ate, the man curled in a ball and fell into a profound
sleep. There were still a couple hours of daylight left, so Ramon took the
knife and harvested cane. The stalks were green as grass before he cut them,
and turned red within a minute or two of being severed. It wasn’t hard work,
and by the time the sunset filled the western sky - distant clouds glowing gold
and orange and gaudy pink - he’d almost doubled the pile that his twin had
made. He washed his hands and the blade in the river, then rooted through the
field pack until he found the rough gray sharpening stone. His twin hadn’t been
doing much of a job keeping the knife sharp. But, then, the poor fucker only
had one working hand. It was a pretty good excuse.
He sat at the water’s edge,
listening to the sharp, dangerous hiss of steel against stone, and looking up. Even
after the trees and river had fallen into a deep gray twilight, the Enye ships
in their high orbit glowed with the light of the sun. Brighter than stars. He
watched as they fell into São Paulo’s shadow, dimming like someone had flipped
a switch until they were only visible by the violet and orange running lights -
less obvious, but present just the same. It was like God had come and hung a
skull in the sky to stare down and remind Ramon of the slaughter that he’d seen
in Maneck’s mind. And the slaughter that was likely to come once he and his
twin returned to the city.
As the prisoner of Maneck and the
aliens, he had spent relatively little time concerning himself with his return
from the wild. It had, he supposed, been so unlikely a prospect that more
immediate problems had kept his attention. But now that he was free and traveling
toward home with his twin, the question loomed large. He brushed his hand over
his arm, where there was now a thin white line, jagged and half-formed. The
machete scar slowly welling up. What had Maneck said? That he’d ‘continue to
approximate the source form.’ He touched the thin line of knotting flesh with
his fingertips. His beard was also thickening, his hands becoming rougher. He
was becoming more and more like the other man. He closed his eyes, torn between
relief at seeing his own flesh coming back again and anxiety about what would
come - no one would mistake them for different men. No one would even think
they were twins - they were too close for that. By the time they reached
another human being, they would have the same scars, the same calluses, the
same faces and bodies and hair.
He couldn’t very well march in
and announce himself to be Ramon Espejo with the other man at his side. Even if
there were no way to tell them apart - and who could say what traces Maneck’s
technology would leave? - the governor would hardly ignore it. And Ramon knew
himself well enough to know what his twin would think of him.
It would be better to go quickly,
and arrive at Fiddler’s Jump when they still looked similar, but not yet identical.
Ramon could engineer some excuse to slip away. Then south, maybe even to
Amadora. He’d need to find someone who could give him fake papers. Not that he
had the money to pay for forged documents, but again, there couldn’t be two Ramon
Espejos…
He let the knife falter, the
whetting stone heavy in his hand.
No. He needed money to start
again. He knew all of his banking codes, could pass any authentication tests
the banks required. The thing was to go back to Diegotown while his twin was
still recuperating, clean out the accounts, maybe borrow some on credit, and
then make his way south. It would leave the other man saddled with debts, but
at least people would know him. He could start over. They both could. And it
wasn’t even stealing, really. He was Ramon Espejo, and that was his own money
he was taking.
And if the police were looking
for the man who’d killed the European, well, then perhaps his twin wouldn’t
mind the missing cash so much after all. Ramon chuckled. It wasn’t as if they
could hang him twice for the same crime. He imagined himself setting up in
Amadora, maybe a simple beach house on the south coast. Once he had papers, he
could rent a new van. At least until he found enough work to buy his own. He
imagined waking to the sound of the surf, the cool light of morning. He
imagined waking alone, on a cot too small for two bodies to share. Elena, after
all, would have the other man. And he would have her. Ramon could start again.
Like a snake shedding its skin, he could leave his old, gray life behind. Maybe
he’d stop drinking so much. Stop going to bars and picking fights. Killing men
or having them try to kill him. He could be someone new. How many men
had dreamed of that, and how few had the chance?
It all depended on getting south
quickly, before the recapitulation had thickened his scars and coarsened his
hair. Before the wrinkles in his face matched the other man’s, before the moles
they shared became dark enough to be obvious on casual inspection. Ramon didn’t
know how long that would be, but he couldn’t imagine it would take long. Not so
many days ago, he’d just been a severed finger, and now he was nearly back to
normal.
Far above, one of the Enye ships
blinked out of existence and then back as the jump drives cooled. Ramon’s gut
tightened, remembering how it felt to be aboard those ships when they stuttered
like that. The first time had been with old Palenki and his work gang. The ship
had launched from its orbit, rising like a transport van and never leveling
out. Ramon remembered the press of acceleration when the rockets fired. It had
been like letting the water out of the tub after a hot bath, or like the torpor
after sex. The muscles themselves had felt heavy on his bones. He’d smiled and
looked over at Fat Enrique - he hadn’t thought about Fat Enrique for years -
and grinned. The boy had grinned back. They were leaving everything behind, and
by the time their journey ended, everyone they’d known or spoken to or been
bullied by or fucked or fucked over or been fucked over by would have died from
old age. There were stories about the conquistadors burning their boats when
they’d reached the new world. Ramon and Palenki and Fat Enrique and all the
rest were doing the same. Earth was dead for them. Only the future mattered.
Ramon shook his head, but his
mind refused to leave its track. This was another memory growing back. This
time, though, he could think as well - observe the river, the Enye ships, the stars,
the full moon hardly risen in the east. It was less like experiencing the thing
again, and more like a powerful and autonomous daydream.
When they’d stepped onto the Enye
ship, his first thought had been of how odd the place smelled - acid and salt and
something that was reminiscent of patchouli. Palenki had bitched that it was
giving him a headache, though that had probably been the cancer. They’d
unloaded and stowed the equipment, found their way to their quarters by
following the painted lines on the walls, eaten a small meal in the pleasant
weight of the rocket acceleration, and taken to their couches when the klaxon
sounded and the jump drives were set to warm up.
It had been the way Ramon had
always imagined a stroke would feel. The world narrowed to a point, peripheral
vision dimming, sounds growing distant, and then the discontinuity. He’d never
been able to say what changed during a jump; everything could be in precisely
the same place, a wrench he’d just dropped still part way to the floor, and
still he knew - knew -that time had gone by. Quite a lot of time. That
something had happened while he was unaware. He’d hated the feeling.
It was a week after that that he
saw his first Enye. Ramon remembered Palenki’s smile; knowing and smug and pleased
with himself, as he’d gathered the work gang and instructed them on the
etiquette their hosts expected. And then the thing had lumbered through the
hatchway…
Ramon screamed. Then the memory
was gone, nothing there but the river and the forest. His heart was tripping
over fast, his grip on the field knife so hard that his knuckles ached. He
scanned the tree line and the surface of the water, ready to attack or flee as
if the Devil himself had risen up with a whip in one hand and a flaying knife
in the other. The image of the Enye - huge, boulder-shaped body; wet,
oyster-like, inscrutable eyes; squirming fringes of cilia; incongruously tiny
and delicate hands, like doll’s hands, sprouting from its middle; barely
visible pucker where its beak was hidden within its flesh - faded slowly from
his mind and the electric fear abated. Ramon forced himself to laugh, but it
came out thin and tinny. He sounded like a coward. He stopped and spat instead,
anger filling his breast.
Maneck and that pale alien fuck in
the hive had made a weakling of him. Just remembering the eaters-of-the-young
was enough to make him squeak like a little girl!
‘Fuck that,’ he said. There was a
low growl in his voice that pleased him. ‘I’m not afraid of a goddamn thing!’
He was still in a foul mood when
he got back to the campsite, which meant, he knew, that he’d have to be even
more careful to avoid getting into a fight with his even more short-tempered
and irritable twin. The fire was down to embers, the other man still asleep on
the ground nearby. With a flash of anger, Ramon realized that he’d have to take
the first watch again. He threw a handful of leaves and tinder on the coals and
slowly rebuilt a small fire. The flames hissed green and popped, but they cast
light and warmth. Ramon knew that the fire was as likely to draw danger as to
drive it away. He knew that the brighter it got, the harder it was to see
beyond it, but he didn’t care. He wanted some pinche light.
One of the moons rose, sailing
slowly past the stationary Enye ships - that was Big Girl, to be followed
before dawn by the smaller, closer-orbiting Little Girl. Ramon waited, brooding
over how little cane had been cut and how many hours of work lay ahead, until
the great pale disk was directly above them before he tried to wake the other
man. Calling his name didn’t work, and the effect of calling his twin ‘Ramon’
was unsettling enough to keep him from trying it again. He went over and shook
the man’s shoulder. His twin groaned and pulled away.
‘Hey,’ Ramon said. ‘I’ve been up
half the fucking night. It’s your watch.’
The other man rolled onto his
back, frowning like a judge.
‘What the fuck are you talking
about?’ he demanded, his voice thick and sleep-drunk.
‘Keeping watch,’ Ramon said. ‘I
did the first watch. Now you get up and I’ll sleep.’
The other man lifted his ruined
right hand as if to rub his eyes, snarled, and used his left instead. Ramon
took a step back, waiting with growing impatience as the man failed to rise.
When his twin spoke, his voice was clearer, but thick with disdain.
‘You’re telling me you haven’t
gone to sleep? Are you fucking stupid? You think the fucking chupacabra is
swimming across the river to get us? That’s a candy-ass banker talking, all
right. What a pussy! You want to watch, go ahead and watch. I’m sleeping.’
And the man rolled back over,
tucking his arm under his head like a pillow, his back to the fire. Rage hummed
in Ramon’s ears like wasps swarming. The impulse to roll the little shit back
over and poke the knife into his neck until he saw reason warred with the
desire to kick his kidney until he was pissing blood all the way back to
Fiddler’s Jump.
But if he did either one, he’d
then have to follow up with handing the knife over and going to sleep vulnerable
and defenseless a few feet from a pissed-off cabron. Ramon growled low
in the back of his throat, wrapped his robe closer around him and went to find
a place to sleep where any predators that happened on them would be likely to
eat the other man first.
Morning came. Ramon groaned and
rolled onto his back, his arm thrown over his eyes to keep the sunlight out for
another minute more. His back ached. His mind was foggy and reluctant. The
smell of the cook fire roused him. The other man had scrounged a handful of
white-fleshed nuts and caught a fish which he’d wrapped in monk ivy leaves and
set in among the coals. It was an old trick for cooking when there was nothing
to cook with. He’d forgotten it, or else not yet remembered.
‘Smells good,’ he said. The other
man shrugged and flipped the packet of ivy leaves onto its other side. Ramon
could see his twin start to say something and then stop. It occurred to him
that the meal hadn’t been meant for two, but the other man was too embarrassed
now to refuse to share. Ramon rubbed his hands together, squatted close to the
fire, and grinned.
‘Lot of work to do,’ the other
man said. ‘Looks like we got enough cane, though.’
‘I cut some last night,’ Ramon
said. ‘Some iceroot leaves for bedding and to make the roof. Then a few good
branches for the fire pit. I figure we can get the sand from down on the river.
Find a sandbar. That’ll be better than just mud from the bank. And firewood.’
‘Yeah,’ the other man said. He
plucked the ivy leaves out of the coals with his left hand, tossing it up and
down a little to keep his fingers from burning until it cooled. A few moments
later, he cut it in half with the field knife - Ramon realized that the man had
taken it from him while he slept - and sliced the packet in two. He handed
Ramon the one with the fish’s head.
The nuts were oily and soft. The
fish’s skin had hardened and cracked, thin as paper and salty. Its flesh was
dark and flaky. Ramon sighed. It was good to eat something he hadn’t had to
prepare himself. He was glad the other man had been too chickenshit to refuse
to share.
‘How do you want to split this
up?’ the other man asked, gesturing at the pile of reddened cane with Ramon’s
knife. ‘You want to make the lean-to, and I’ll go find the leaves? Maybe some
good branches?’
‘Sure,’ Ramon said, wondering as
he did whether there was an angle he was overlooking. Gathering leaves and
sticks was easier than construction, but he was the one with both hands to work
with. And his twin had gotten up early to make the food. It almost made up for
not taking the second watch. Without discussion, they both went to the river
and washed their hands. The other man’s hand looked worse than Ramon remembered
it, but his twin didn’t complain.
‘I want you to know something,’
the other man said as he re-wrapped his palm and the remaining fingers.
‘Yeah?’
‘I know we’re in this together,
you and me. And the work you do - getting the sug beetles, building the raft, all
that shit? It’s better with the two of us than just one, you know? But if you
go through my pack one more time without asking, I’ll kill you in your fucking
sleep. Okay, partner?’
His twin locked eyes with him -
irises so dark Ramon couldn’t make out the pupils, the whites bloodshot and
yellow as old soap. He didn’t think for a second that the man was joking. Now
that he thought about it, he knew what he’d think of some half-assed banker
pawing through his stuff. He wondered if this was what it was going to
be like, going back. Maybe he’d resent his twin having all his things. His
knife, his pack. Even Elena, maybe.
‘Okay,’ Ramon said. ‘I just didn’t
want to leave the knife dull, you know. It won’t happen twice.’
The other man nodded.
‘I do need it, though,’ Ramon
said. ‘The knife. I’ve got to strip bark to tie the cane with. And if I need to
cut more…’
He shrugged. The other man
growled without making a sound, and Ramon braced himself for violence. But the
other man only spat into the water and handed the blade over, handle first.
‘Thanks,’ Ramon said, and tried
for a placating smile. The other man didn’t answer. Ramon went back to their
little camp, the other man tramping off into the forest, presumably to gather
the leaves and wood. Ramon waited until he was sure he was out of earshot
before he muttered, ‘And fuck you too, ese.’
Ramon began working after the
other man left. He got enough ivy and stripped bark to complete the design he
thought would work best for the lean-to, then hauled the cane to the raft and
the river. He saw at once that his first thoughts on how best to connect the
shelter to the body of the raft had been optimistic. He had to spend an hour
redesigning the thing. Giving his mind over to the task, losing himself in the
physicality of his task, was like taking a drink of good whiskey. He hadn’t
realized that the knot had formed in his gut again until it released a little.
Being with his twin was totally unlike being alone. Even being with Maneck and
having that fucking sahael stuck in his neck hadn’t wound his guts up
this way. It was being around another human - any other human. And in
particular, this prickly sonofabitch!
At the same time, he understood
that he was also setting his twin’s teeth on edge. How could he not? Better to
worry about which knots best bound the cane to the branches of the raft. He was
already quite aware of his own failings as a man. No reason to stew in them.
By afternoon, Ramon was satisfied
with his new design, and it still took him hours to lash the cane onto the
raft, build the framework, and then lace the remaining lengths together as a
support structure. He held back four long poles to tie down over the layer of
leaves that would actually serve to slough off the rain. Providing, of course,
that, the other man ever got his lazy ass back. Ramon had been working all day.
How long did it take to pull down some leaves and find a few pinche branches?
They were in a forest; wood shouldn’t be that hard to find.
As it happened, his twin emerged
from the forest an hour or so before nightfall. He had what looked like half a
bushel of iceroot leaves bound to his back with ivy and an improvised stretcher
of branches trailing behind him, loaded with sticks the right size for burning.
Ramon had to admit it wasn’t a bad load for a man with a broken hand and no
knife. The other man dropped his burden at the riverside, squatted, and cupped
handful after handful of water up to his lips. High above, the Enye ships hung
in the sky.
‘Looks good,’ Ramon said.
‘Yeah,’ the other man said, weariness
in his voice. ‘It’s okay. May need a way to keep the firewood from rolling off,
though.’
‘We can do that.’
The other man looked at the raft
and rubbed his cheeks with his palm. Ramon came to stand at his side.
‘Solid,’ the man said. ‘Good
design. Kind of small, though, eh?’
‘Didn’t figure we’d both be in it
at once,’ Ramon said. ‘One of us is going to be steering. Sleep in shifts. That
kind of thing.’
‘What it if rains?’
‘Then whoever’s steering gets
wet,’ Ramon said. ‘Or else we both crawl out of the rain like we’re humping
each other.’
‘We get wet, then. Right. You got
the knife?’
He held out his hand. Ramon
dropped the leather grip into the man’s palm.
‘Thanks,’ his twin said, then
spun and brought the tip of the blade to Ramon’s throat. The man’s eyes were
narrow and furious, his mouth in a wide grin that had nothing to do with
pleasure. It was the expression the European had seen; Ramon was sure of it.
‘Now,’ the man said through
clenched teeth. ‘How about you tell me what the fuck you really are?’
* * * *
CHAPTER NINETEEN
‘I don’t ... I don’t know what you’re talking about, man,’ Ramon
said.
The other man dug the knifepoint
into Ramon’s neck. Ramon felt the urge to step back, away from the blade, but
he fought it. Showing weakness now would be an invitation. He forced himself to
stay calm, or as calm as he could.
‘You’re no fucking banker,’ the
man said, spitting the words out. ‘You build like that. You know how to sharpen
my knife. What kind of banker knows that?’
‘I told you,’ Ramon said. ‘I
spend a lot of time - ’
‘Out at the ass end of nowhere?
Yeah, because that makes a fucking lot of sense. And you just happen to come up
here. A month ago. And no one gives a shit that you’re gone? No one sends out a
search party? That sound likely to you? And your beard. You telling me that’s a
month’s growth on your chin? Or did the aliens give you a razor to clean up
with while you were there? Your hands. You’ve got calluses on your fingers.
That from data entry?’
Ramon looked at his hands. The
hard, yellowed flesh was starting to come back a little. He balled his fists.
The man’s grip on the knife got stronger, the pressure against Ramon’s skin
hurt a little.
‘You’re paranoid, ese,’ Ramon
said. His voice was steady and strong. He tried to gauge his chances of
wrestling the knife away. If he threw himself back, out of the man’s reach, he
could get a few seconds. And the man was going to be fighting off-hand. But
Ramon’s twin was scared and angry and crazy as a shithouse rat from what he’d
been through these last days. Ramon gave himself a little worse than even odds.
For a half second, he wondered
what the man would do if Ramon told him the truth. Kill him? Run away? Accept
him as a brother and move on? Only the last one seemed laughable.
‘And then you asked about the El
Rey,’ the man shouted. ‘What the fuck do you know about the El
Rey? What the fuck are you?’
‘I’m a cop,’ Ramon said,
surprised as soon as he heard his own words. But it was clear. It was the story
he had already spent days telling himself. All he had to do was turn it around.
‘My name really is David. The European ambassador got killed. There were some
people in the crowd who said you were there. And the knife man, he matched your
description.’
His twin nodded, encouraging
Ramon on as if he were confirming his suspicions. Which he probably was, if
only because he was making it all up. Ramon swallowed, loosening the knot in
his throat. As soon as he could, he went on.
‘Then you take off. Skip town.
The constabulary think it’s a little weird, so they send me out to track you. I
have spent a lot of time up north. It’s why they picked me. So I find your van
blown up like you had a bomb in there or some shit. I start poking around,
looking for maybe your arm or something. The next thing I know, there’s this
flying box thing. It’s just hanging there. I go to take a look, and then bam!
These big-ass things with quills on their heads take my clothes, they take my
badge and my pistol, put me in this fucking babyshit outfit and start marching
me around telling me I was supposed to find you.’
‘And so you did it,’ the man
said, stepping an inch closer, the metal of the blade digging into Ramon’s
flesh, stinging like the sahael. ‘You followed their orders like a dog!’
‘I tried to go slow at first,’
Ramon said. ‘I thought maybe I could buy you time. You know. You get back to
the city, you can tell people what’s happened, send help. But then we found
that camp. We were too close on you. The only thing I could do was wait and
hope you were smarter than the pinche aliens. And you were. So here we
are.’ And then, because he couldn’t help himself, ‘You would have done the same
thing in my position, man. Seriously.’
‘I didn’t kill the asshole
European,’ the man said through clenched teeth. ‘It was someone else. I didn’t
fucking do it.’
‘Ramon,’ Ramon said, and shook
off a moment of vertigo at using his own name in this way. ‘Ramon, you saved my
ass from those demon pendejos. As far as I’m concerned, you were at my
house the night the ambassador got himself cut up. The whole time.’
In the silence between them,
Ramon heard the distant chimes of a flock of flapjacks, like church bells. The
blade wavered, but Ramon didn’t move. A thin flow of blood tickled his
collarbone. The knife had broken skin. A confused, distrustful expression came
over the man’s dark eyes.
‘What are you talking about?’
‘I owe you,’ Ramon said, putting
as much sincerity into his voice as he could without sounding weak.
‘Guy got killed,’ his twin said.
It was an objection.
Ramon shrugged. If he was lying,
he might as well lie big.
‘You know Johnny Joe? You know
who he is?’
‘Johnny Joe Cardenas?’
‘Yeah. You know why he gets away
with so much?’
‘Why?’
‘Because we let him. You think we
don’t know how many people he’s killed? Thing is, he works for us.’
The man rocked back an inch. The
blade was no longer touching Ramon’s neck. Maybe sixty-forty in his favor now.
Ramon kept talking. That was the thing; keep the two of them speaking.
He had to make it a talking fight.
‘Johnny Joe’s a snitch?’ the man
asked. He sounded stunned.
‘For the past six years,’ Ramon
said, trying to remember how long Johnny Joe had been in Diegotown. The man
didn’t seem to think the number implausible. ‘Keeps us informed on what’s
going down. And no one suspects him because who the fuck would believe it? He’s
a thug. Everyone knows the governor wants him hanged. No one thinks it’s all
bullshit and he’s calling us every Sunday like he’s our fucking girlfriend.’
‘I’m not a snitch.’
‘Not saying you are,’ Ramon said.
‘What I’m saying is this: São Paulo? It doesn’t have laws. It has cops. I’m one
of them, and you helped me. Whatever happened at the El Rey, it was
someone else. That way we’re square.’
‘How do you know I’m not
innocent? What if I really didn’t do it?’
‘If you didn’t do it, then I’m
gypping you big time,’ Ramon said and grinned. His twin wavered for a moment,
then a smile plucked at his mouth too. The knife blade lowered. The man stepped
back.
‘It’s my knife. I’m keeping it.
It’s mine.’
‘You want to hold onto it, that’s
cool,’ Ramon said, trying to sound reassuring the way cops did when they were
talking you down. He’d heard the tone a few times, and it wasn’t hard to fake. ‘I
understand you’d want to keep the weapon. That’s not a problem. After all, we’re
just two guys on the run from a bunch of goddam aliens, right? Doesn’t matter
which one of us has the knife, because we’re on the same side.’
‘If you fuck me over…’ the man
said and left the threat hanging. Because, Ramon thought, really, a cop decides
to break his word to you, exactly what could you do? Take him to a judge and
see who got believed?
‘If I start fucking people over,
Johnny Joe and all the other pendejos like him will lose their shit,’
Ramon said. Grave. Authoritative. Like a cop. ‘It ain’t worth it. I tell you
you’re clean, man. That makes you clean. But any reward we get for turning in
those alien fucks, we split it. You and me. Right down the middle.’
‘Fuck that,’ the man said. ‘I saved your ass. You were walking bait.
I get three quarters.’
Ramon felt his belly loosen. He
was clear. The crisis was gone, and nothing left but a little posing and
haggling. ‘Sixty-forty,’ he said. ‘And you didn’t kill anyone. Ever.’
‘I’m getting gypped,’ the man
said.
‘So’s everyone. We’re the cops,
remember?’ Ramon said, then smiled. The other man, coughed out an incredulous
laugh, then smiled himself. ‘You want to start getting these leaves in place,
so we can get out of here and back to someplace they’ve got plumbing?’
‘Fucking cops,’ the man said, but
now it was a joke. The man was half drunk with relief. And why shouldn’t he be?
Ramon had just forgiven him his sins.
They worked until the light
failed. The little lean-to was half ready; a bed of leaves made and the
covering laid down with the leaves arranged in overlapping rows so that any
rain would run down the top and into the water instead of dripping through.
Ramon called the halt; his twin would have kept going all night, he guessed,
just to prove something. And yet, as they walked the short path back to their
little camp, he could tell that the relationship had changed. Clueless banker
lost in the wild was one thing. Policeman and granter of pardons was another
beast entirely. Ramon built a small fire and the other man unloaded a double
handful of sug beetles, suicide nuts, and the bright green berries that Ramon
had never found named in the planet’s taxonomies and that tasted like cheap
white wine and pears. It wasn’t a feast, but it tasted good. Afterward, Ramon
drank water until his belly felt full. He’d have to piss in the middle of the
night, but for the moment, it fooled his body into feeling sated.
His twin lay back beside the
fire. Ramon saw the man’s fingers twitching, and knew he was wishing he had a
cigarette. The thought immediately made him want one too. How long, he
wondered, before the nicotine stains grew back, yellowing his fingers and
teeth? How long before the teasing fan dance of identities he was doing for the
other man stopped working and the truth came out? Maybe the right thing was to
leave now, go into the wild and avoid his twin, the governor, the police, and
the Enye entirely.
He’d thought about living off the
land many times before. The idea of fading away into the forest had seemed more
plausible when it was a fantasy, or else something he could do with a good,
solid van that he could lock up at night. Or if he at least had his pinche knife
back.
There had been stories from the
first wave of colonists of men who had gone feral; moved out into the forests
and steppes, deserts and tide pools of the planet and never came back to
civilization. Some of them might even be true. Colonies didn’t tend to pull
people who loved their old lives on Earth. There would be a percentage who
hated life here too; men and women who’d hauled their sorry personal failings
all the way from Earth. Ramon wondered if he was one of those. Except that he
wanted to get back now. So he wasn’t feral yet. And as long as his fingers kept
twitching toward a cigarette case that was days behind him and across a river,
he would never wholly abandon the cities.
‘Why’d you become a cop?’ the man
asked, his voice already slurred by exhaustion and impending sleep.
‘I don’t know,’ Ramon said. ‘It
seemed like the right thing at the time. Why’d you become a prospector?’
‘It was better than being on a
work gang,’ the man said. ‘I’m pretty good at it. And there was a while I
needed to get out of town, you know? Get kind of lost for a while.’
‘Yeah?’ Ramon said. He was tired
as well. It had been a long day in a series of very long days. His body felt
heavy and comfortable.
‘There was this guy,’ the other
man said. ‘Martin Casaus. We were friends for a while, you know. When I first
got here. He was one of those guys hangs out by the orientation centers and
tries to make friends with new people since no one who knows him here likes
him.’ The other man spat. ‘He called himself a trapper. I guess he even killed
things once in a while. Anyway, he got this idea I was after his woman. I wasn’t
either. She was a fucking dog. But he got it in his head that I was trying to
cut him out.’
Lianna. Ramon remembered her, the
night at the bar. The deep red wallpaper, like drying blood. He’d gone to her,
sat at her side. She’d still smelled of the kitchen - fry oil and herbs, hot
metal and chile. He had offered to buy her a drink. She’d accepted. She’d taken
his hand. She’d been gentle about it. Tentative. He’d had enough to drink that
he was a little fuzzy in the head. Martin’s fantasies of her - of opening her
blouse, of whispering filthy, exciting things into her ears, of waking in her
bed - had intoxicated him as much as the drink.
‘I didn’t give a shit about her,’
the man said, chuckling. ‘She was a cook. Kind of dumpy, you know. Ate too
much of her own stuff. Martin, though. Fuck. He was crazy about her.’
Lianna’s room had been in the
back - a separate building grown from cheap chitin out behind the cantina with
a little bathroom, a shower, but no place to cook. The LEDs spelling out Los
Rancheros had filled the room with dim, harsh light. He’d undressed her to
the sound of Portuguese fado music on the music feed, the singer
crooning about love and loss and death, a song whose words he heard again now.
It had been a beautiful song. In spite of the mild night air, Lianna had had
goosebumps. He remembered the gooseflesh on her arms. Her thighs. Her breasts.
She’d been shy at first. Guilty about having him there. And then less so. And
then not shy at all.
‘So Martin gets it into his head
that I fucked this girl. Now, he wasn’t seeing her. Hadn’t spoken more than
maybe a dozen words to her his whole life. But he thinks he’s in love. So he
gets crazy. Jumps me with a sheet metal hook. Almost kills me.’
Afterward, he’d run his fingers
through her hair as she slept. He’d wanted to cry, but hadn’t been able to.
Even now, the memory growing in like a vine in his brain, he couldn’t say why
he’d wanted to do that, what mixture of lust and sorrow, loneliness and guilt
had moved him so much. Part of it was that he’d betrayed Martin. Only part of
it, though. Lianna.
‘So I figure, you know, as soon
as I’m healed up, maybe I should get scarce. I put a down payment on a van from
this place I’d been working that was about to go tits up. I got some old
surveying software from the widow of a guy I knew that died. Took off. It just
went on from there. You know how that goes.’
‘I do,’ Ramon agreed. ‘You ever
see her again?’
‘The dumpy cook girl? No, man.
Why bother, you know?’
She’d snored a little, just a
wheeze in and then out. She had a cheap poster of the Virgin of Despegando
Station over her bed, the bright blue eyes and robes glowing in the near dark.
Ramon had thought he was in love with her. He’d written her letters but deleted
them before he hit send. He couldn’t conjure up what he had put in them. He
wondered if the other man remembered what they said. If not, the words were
gone forever.
He hadn’t told that story in
years. If he had, he would have talked about her exactly the way his twin had,
just now. Some things you just don’t say to people.
‘You got quiet,’ the man said. ‘You
thinking about that Carmina? She had you whipped, mi amigo. I could hear
it when you talked about her.’
A sneering tone had crept into
the other’s voice, and Ramon knew he was on dangerous ground, but he couldn’t
keep himself from asking, ‘How about you? You got a girl now?’
‘I got someone I fuck,’ the other
said. ‘She’s got a mouth on her sometimes, but she’s okay. I don’t mind fucking
her. She’s pretty good in bed.’
Time to take a chance, push it a
little. ‘You love her?’
The other man froze. ‘That’s none
of your business, cabron,’ he said in a hard voice.
Ramon allowed himself to lock
eyes with the other man for a heartbeat, then said, gruffly, ‘You’re right.
Sorry.’ Not rising to the insult. Backing down, but in a way consistent with
his tough-cop persona. Not craven enough to arouse the other’s ire.
After a moment of silence, Ramon
said, ‘Let’s get some sleep, eh? Long day tomorrow.’
‘Yeah,’ the man said, his tone
sour. ‘Sure.’
But, as Ramon had hoped, the
subject of who he loved didn’t come up again.
* * * *
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
They launched the raft around noon the next day, the morning spent
in final preparations and unsuccessful hunting. It was more cramped. The fire
pit sat at the back, where someone could both tend it and steer with the oar.
The lean-to ran lengthwise along one side. It unbalanced the raft a little, but
if Ramon had put it in the midline, he wouldn’t have been able to see ahead and
steer. Of course it blocked part of his view no matter where it sat. And as a
counter-balance, he’d put a pile of wood for the fire on the other side, not so
near the edge that it was likely to get soaked.
Ramon steered them out into the
river where the flow was swiftest, then spent the afternoon holding steady. The
man sat at the side, a fishing line in his hand. And here it was, the grand
escape plan brought to its perfect end. Two unwashed and unshaven guys on a
grungy raft, fishing to eat and taking turns steering down the middle of the
river. Ramon scratched his belly. The scar was growing, and the one on his arm.
His hair was slightly coarser too; he could feel it. No doubt he was starting
to get the creases in his face back too.
He wished he’d kept the cigarette
case. Or anything that he could use for a mirror. How long would it be before
the other man realized what was happening? Every time his twin glanced back at
him, Ramon felt his belly growing tighter.
As they moved south, the forests
changed. Needle-leaved iceroot gave way to lacy sponge oak. Twice, Ramon caught
sight of the great pyramids of dorado colonies, their sides swarming
with the crawling black spiders. The sounds also changed. The chirr and squawk
of the thousand varieties of half-lizard, half-bird as they threatened one
another and fought for food and mates. Deeper calls, like the voices of women
singing in some beautiful African tongue, from kyi-kyi preparing to shed their
summer skins. And once, the soft whistling sound of a redjacket cutting through
the underbrush. Ramon didn’t see the animal, though, and since it didn’t
attack, apparently it hadn’t seen them either.
Above them, the sky-lilies were
being blown south and east by some high-atmosphere wind. Their distant bodies
looked like points of deep green against the blue arching sky, strewn like dark
stars against the daylight. One precocious colony had bloomed, sending out streamers
of yellow and red that were likely miles long, though from so far away, Ramon
could cover them with his thumb. When the others joined it, it would look like
a flower garden swimming up into space.
But it was the hovering black
Enye ships that kept pulling his attention. Six of them hung in the air. It
struck him for the first time how much the ships were shaped like ticks, and
once the image was in his head, he couldn’t be rid of it. He had ridden from
his home, his world, his past in the belly of a great tick, and been puked out
onto this beautiful planet. None of them belonged here - not the Enye, not
Maneck and his people, not humanity. And yet São Paulo suffered them.
Maybe he could ship out again.
Get back on the Enye ship, move to some other colony. Or cast his fate to the
sky and come down wherever God put him. São Paulo wasn’t so big he could be
assured of never running into his twin again. The universe, on the other hand, was
that big. Bigger. For a moment - as strong as a memory reawakening - Ramon
felt again the gaping abyss from his dream. He shuddered and looked back at the
river’s edge.
Shipping out would mean getting a
false identity, but anything meant that now. The real problem was going
on the ship. Smelling the skins of the Enye, hearing their voices. Knowing what
they had done, and what they were doing, and the real purpose of these
colonies. Before, he might have been able to do it. His twin, sitting on the
edge of the raft with his head resting on his good hand, he might be
able to do it. But Ramon had felt the flow, had become the abyss, and heard the
cries of dying kii. Of dying babies. He couldn’t do it. Not anymore.
The easiest thing would still be
to kill the man. If his twin were dead, all this would go away. He could step
back into his own life, call in the little insurance policy he had on the van,
and try to start over. It had been hit in a rockslide. Why not? The policy was
cheap enough that no one would bother with more than a cursory investigation,
and they wouldn’t find any pieces chopped and sold second-hand. He could have
his life back instead of ceding it to this cabron. And if the cops were
looking for someone to pin the European’s death on, they’d have found someone
else by the time he got back.
It wouldn’t even be that hard to
do. He cooked. He kept watch while the man slept. Even if he didn’t have the
knife, there were other ways. Shit, he could just push the bastard off the side
of the raft. Ramon had damn near died in the river before, and he’d been nearer
shore then. Trapped out in the middle of the river, where the current was
strongest, the other man would almost certainly drown. And if by some miracle
he did reach land, there were redjackets out there. And hundreds of miles to
Fiddler’s Jump. It was the safest thing. It was the sane thing.
He let himself imagine it.
Standing up, pulling in the oar. Two steps, three. Then bringing the oar down
fast and hard. He could almost hear the man’s cry, the splash, the gurgling
scream. It would fix everything. And would it really be killing? Would it
really be murder? After all, one Ramon went into the wild, and one Ramon came
out. Where was murder in that?
Under what circumstances do you
kill?
Ramon blew out his breath and
looked away. Shut up, Maneck! You’re dead! The man jerked his head back
toward Ramon, distrust in the dark eyes.
‘Nothing,’ Ramon said, raising a
hand. ‘Just caught myself dozing off.’
‘Yeah, well. Don’t,’ the man
said. ‘We don’t have another oar, and I don’t want to have to push this
sonofabitch to shore so we can look for one.’
‘Yeah. Thanks,’ Ramon said. And
then, ‘Hey. Ese. You mind if I ask you something?’
‘You gonna tape it? Tell it to
the judge?’
‘No,’ Ramon said. ‘It’s just
something I was wondering.’
The man shrugged and didn’t
bother to look back.
‘Ask if you want. I don’t like
the question, I’ll tell you to go fuck yourself.’
‘That guy you didn’t kill. The
European?’
‘The one I never saw and don’t
know shit about?’
‘Him,’ Ramon agreed. ‘If you had
done it - you didn’t, but if you had. Why? He wasn’t fucking your wife.
He wasn’t after your job. He didn’t go for you.’
‘Didn’t he? How do you know?’
‘He didn’t,’ Ramon said. ‘I saw
the report. It wasn’t self-defense. So why?’
The man was silent. He tugged at
his fishing line, let it play back out, and tugged it in again. Ramon thought
that he wasn’t going to answer at all. When he did, his voice was dismissive
and conversational.
‘We were drunk. He pissed me off.
It got out of hand,’ the man said, dropping the pretense. ‘Just something that
happened.’
He had tried to back down, Ramon
thought. The European had tried to get back to just name-calling. Ramon had
been the one who set the terms of the fight. Something about the
straight-haired girl’s laughter. That and the moment after the European went
down when the crowd stepped back. It was in there. Why could he kill a man
whose death brought him nothing, and yet not be able to kill somebody
when he had everything in the world to gain from it? When his very life might
depend on it?
Ramon’s twin caught four fish,
two silver flatfish with blunt noses and permanently surprised mouths, one
black-scaled river roach, and then something Ramon had never seen before that
looked to be equal parts eyes and teeth. That one they threw back. The man
roasted the three edible fish while Ramon used the oar to keep the raft near
the river’s center. Birds or creatures near enough like them to take the name
called from the tops of the trees, flew overhead, skimmed down across the river
for a drink.
‘You know,’ his twin said, ‘I
always thought it would be good to go out for a while. Live off the land. When
I came out, I was thinking I’d stay out here three, four months. Now I just
want to get back to Diegotown and sleep in a real bed. With a roof.’
‘Amen,’ Ramon said.
The man cut a hunk of pale flesh
from the flatfish, tossed it in his hand for a moment to let it cool, and
popped it in his mouth. Ramon watched the tiny smile on the man’s lips and
realized how hungry he was.
‘It’s good?’
‘Doesn’t suck,’ the man agreed,
then paused, his head tilting a degree. And then Ramon heard it too - a distant
low rumble, constant as a radio link tuned to an empty channel. They realized
what they were hearing at the same moment. Water, an unthinkable volume of it,
falling.
‘East,’ the man said. ‘The east
bank’s closer.’
‘That’s where the chupacabra was.’
‘That fucking thing’s days behind
us. Come on. East!’
Ramon grabbed the oar and angled
the raft as best he could toward the eastern shore. The man pulled their meal
free of the coals and then went forward to look at the river. The sound rose
from a bare whisper, something hardly noticeable, to a roar that almost
drowned out the man’s words.
‘Hurry the fuck up,’ he said. ‘I
can see it.’
Ramon could too by now. A slight
haze where the cataract threw mist into the air. Rapids, perhaps. A waterfall.
But their raft wouldn’t survive even a small insult. He had to reach land.
‘Come on!’ the man yelled, then
dropped to his knees and started paddling with his good hand, scooping water as
if he could swim the raft to safety. Ramon’s shoulders ached, his hands gripped
the oar until his joints ached. The muddy bank inched nearer. The roar
increased. The haze grew higher.
They were close, but they weren’t
going to make it.
The flow of the river was too
fast, and the raft had no purchase on the water. Boulders were beginning to
slide past them, the water breaking white over the stone. The roar was near
deafening. The shore was four meters away. Three and a half.
Something in the water caught
Ramon’s attention; a shifting. An eddy that meant something the back of his
mind knew. Without thinking, Ramon switched his grip, pushing the raft away
from the bank, aiming for the point on the river where the flow was…right. The
bank edged away.
‘What the fuck are you doing?’
the man shrieked. ‘What the fuck are you - ’
In the same instant, a sick
grinding sound overcame the cataract’s voice, the forward float shattered, and
the raft lurched, throwing Ramon forward beside the fire pit. The other man
nearly tipped into the water. The flow of water arced at the raft’s sides, an
icy wave running over the back edge and draining between the loose branches.
Ramon slid forward slowly, careful not to dislodge the raft from whatever had
stopped their rush. A boulder just below the surface and sharp as the prow of a
kayak had nearly split the front float. The stone still penetrated the bent and
broken cane. A half meter toward the bank, and they would have missed it. Ten
meters on, Ramon saw the streaks in the water where it gained speed as it
prepared to fall. His twin’s amazed and joyous whoop barely reached his ears,
but the man’s pounding congratulatory slaps on his shoulders conveyed the
meaning clearly enough.
He’d saved them. Precarious as
their position was, at least they hadn’t died. Yet. Four meters of fast water
still divided them from the land, but the raft was stationary.
‘Rope!’ his twin shouted in his
ear. ‘We’ve got to get some rope to haul this pinche motherfucker onto
the shore! You wait here!’
‘What are you…Hey! Don’t -’
But the other man had already
taken two long, fast strides and leapt out over the water. The raft shifted one
way and then the other, the ruined cane float twisting. For a sick moment,
Ramon was sure the other man had freed him from the rock, but the raft
steadied. Ramon sat, waiting, with his back and belly aching with fear. Was the
other man going to be able to get to shore, or would he be swept over the
brink? And if he was, where the fuck did that leave Ramon? And the raft itself,
pressed up against the boulder by the constant push of the river was like
balancing a coin on its edge. If the float gave way or the river rose, he was
dead. And rope? Where was his twin going to find rope, anyway? They were in the
middle of the wilderness. By the time he’d thought all these things once, he
saw the slick shape of his twin pulling himself from the water.
As Ramon watched, the man hauled
himself up the bank, paused for a moment, head hung low, and then vanished
among the trees. Ramon squatted at the front of the raft, adding his weight to
the raft’s in hopes of keeping the float stuck where it was, and also crouching
down, ready to leap for the shore if it did come loose.
But as time passed, the sun
pressing down on his back and shoulders, warming his skin and the cloth of his
robes, his urgency and fear mixed with a strange kind of peace.
It was like one of those
meaningless Zen stories Palenki liked to tell when he was drunk. He was trapped
at the edge of a waterfall, on a raft that might come loose from its stone at
any second, waiting for a man who was also in some sense himself to return from
the wilderness with some scrounged tool that would save him - a man who would
probably try to kill him if he knew the whole situation. And if he did make it
out of here, it was a race to get to a city where his future was totally
uncertain, where the law might, after all, still be after him, while meanwhile
genocidal aliens floated overhead. And what was he thinking about?
How good the sun felt.
Hours passed. When Ramon’s legs
began to ache from squatting, he took the risk of sitting. The raft still
shifted to the side sometimes, but never enough to alarm him. His mind
wandered. He remembered lazy, empty afternoons under the blazing Mexican sun,
nothing to do but pray that rain would fill the cistern before it ran dry. It
didn’t have the immediacy of a newly returned memory. It was just something
that had happened to him once, when he’d been a boy on another planet. A school
of fish sped past him, scales flashing green and gold under the skin of rushing
water. Ramon didn’t know if they were all speeding to their own deaths at the
falls ahead or if there was some trick they knew that would preserve them.
There had to be some way that the inhabitants of the deep, fast flow of the
river coped with accidents of geography like this. Perhaps it was only that
when enough bodies were thrown out into the void, some few would survive; like
seeds strewn over rocks, a handful might find a soil-filled niche. It didn’t
matter if a thousand died so long as a hundred lived. That must have been what
Maneck and his people had felt, throwing themselves at the sky.
Fish putting their faith in the
river.
When at last his twin reappeared
at the river’s edge, he had to shout and wave his arms to wake Ramon from his
half-drowse. He carried a coil of vine wound over one shoulder, thick as his
thigh. Ramon didn’t know if this were some plant the man had known of, the
knowledge of which simply hadn’t returned to his own mind yet, or if it was a
lucky discovery, and he didn’t care deeply. After a long series of gestures,
Ramon understood the man’s intentions: he would cast the vine out to Ramon tied
around a small branch. Ramon was then to haul enough of the vine onto the raft
to throw the original branch back. When they’d made the double-strand fast to
the raft and a tree near the shore, Ramon was to dislodge the raft and let the
force of the river work against the constraint of the vines to swing the
injured craft to shore. An ideal plan, so long as the vines were strong enough.
It occurred to Ramon that the man’s standards for the risk might be more
forgiving than his own, but there was no better plan.
It took three tries to get the
vine across to Ramon and five more to return it to his twin on the river-bank.
The man was grinning as he made their improvised rope fast to a tree. Ramon
was less sure. But even if the plan only got him nearer the shore, he’d be able
to swim the shorter distance. When the man gave the high sign, Ramon began
rocking the raft from one side to the other, catching the flowing water from
one direction, then another, searching for the combination that would dislodge
the float. For long minutes, it seemed the raft was stuck faster than he’d
imagined, and then, with a lurch, it came free. Ramon lost his footing as the
vine pulled taut, the raft shuddering and tipping. The pile of firewood broke
free, branches and twigs spilling into the river and bobbing away into the
mist. On his knees, Ramon waited as the raft swung slowly in an arc, the lashed
wood groaning and creaking under the unfamiliar strain. The man whooped as the
raft touched the muddy ground. Ramon leapt off the side, and together they
hauled it up and out of the water.
‘Good fucking work, pendejo! the
man said, clapping Ramon’s shoulder with his uninjured hand and grinning like
an idiot. The roar of the cataract was so loud the man had to shout to be
heard. Ramon, half against his will, found himself grinning back.
‘I thought there weren’t any
falls on this river,’ Ramon shouted.
‘There aren’t supposed to be,’
the man agreed. ‘But this far north, who checks the mapping programs? They
missed one.’
‘Hope they didn’t miss any
others,’ Ramon said. ‘Did you get to scout it out? How bad does it look?’
The man had. The roar and the
mist were the products of two drop-offs, one a little more than three meters,
the second not quite half again as much. The raft would have been torn to
kindling. But after the cataract, the river seemed to be smooth and relatively
placid again. The trick would be to carry the raft to the lower river and
launch it again from there.
They took the vine and cinched
the raft to a tree nearer where it had come to rest hoping to keep it safe in
case of an unexpected rise in the river. Then, together, Ramon and his twin set
out into the bush. There were game paths where animals had pushed through to
the fresh water, but none of the animals had been hauling a two-man raft. Ramon
began to regret they’d made the thing as large as they had. Night fell before
they’d discovered a good path, and they set up a makeshift camp.
‘It’s going to be a real
sonofabitch getting that thing down,’ the man said.
‘Yeah,’ Ramon agreed. ‘Better
than trying to make another one, though. Not much cane this far south.’
‘Think we can do it? Move the
fucking thing?’
In the distance, something
howled. It was a fluting, lovely sound that reminded Ramon of coyotes and wind
chimes. He sighed and spat into the fire.
‘Between us, we’ll do it,’ he
said. ‘We’re tough bastards.’
‘Probably couldn’t do it, just
one of us, though.’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘Good thing I didn’t kill you
back there, eh?’ the man said. His tone was joking, but Ramon knew it was a
joke with teeth. Remember, the man meant, that I had you at knifepoint. You
live because I let you. It was the sort of thing he’d have said himself to
remind the constable who owed what to whom. Only now, seeing it from outside,
did he understand how alienating and stupid it was.
‘Good thing, yeah,’ he said, and
smiled.
* * * *
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Morning found Ramon aching and tired. Through the boughs above
him, the sky was gray. The breeze smelled heavy with rain. The other man had
risen before him and was boiling a handful of honey grass. Ramon yawned
mightily, then rubbed his eyes. His elbow itched, so he scratched, feeling the
hard knot of scar where the machete had bit. It was almost its familiar size
and hardness. He plucked the sleeve of his robe down to cover it.
‘Storm coming on,’ the other man
said. ‘Gonna be pretty wet by tonight.’
‘Better get moving, then,’ Ramon
said.
‘I was thinking we could hole up.
Find someplace dry to wait it out.’
‘Good idea. How ‘bout Fiddler’s
Jump? Dry enough there.’
‘We got days before we can even
think of seeing people.’
‘We’ve got more of them if we
screw around like a couple of schoolgirls trying not to get our hair wet,’
Ramon said. The other man’s gaze hardened.
‘Fine,’ the man said. ‘That’s the
way you want it, we’ll do that.’
After they ate breakfast, the
honey grass tasting rich and heavy as wheat after the boiling had burst the
grains, Ramon and his twin mapped out the path that made the best sense.
Unsurprisingly, they shared the same basic idea. The other man objected to a
few of Ramon’s suggestions, but that was more for the sake of the objection
itself.
‘We’ll have to clear some of the
brush. Maybe a sapling or two,’ Ramon said. ‘You want to give me the knife, we
can share the shit work.’
‘I can do it,’ the man said.
‘Your choice.’
When they reached the raft again,
Ramon used the vines with which they’d pulled it from the river to make a
simple yoke. By pulling from the side, the floats acted more like runners, and
dragging it was easier than lifting the full weight. The man walked ahead,
clearing what he could, or went back to the raft itself to lift it over the rocks
and bushes with which it became entangled. The sun sloped unseen toward the top
of its arc. The Enye ships peeked through the rare break in the cloud cover.
The work was back-breaking, but Ramon pushed through the pain. His spine was
screaming, his feet felt on the verge of bleeding, his shoulders were rubbing
raw where the yoke rested, but it wasn’t like he was cauterizing the stump of
his own lost finger. If he was capable of that - and judging from the man, he
was - pulling a raft through the woods shouldn’t be worth thinking about.
And as the hours passed, he found
the burden growing more bearable. The endless ache in his muscles became less a
sensation and more an environment. The other man darted back and forth,
clearing the path ahead, lifting the raft and pushing it past the tighter spots
when he went behind. Ramon didn’t speak much, just leaned into his task. He had
the sense that his twin was coming to respect him. He knew how much that would
gall the man, and it put an extra strength in his back. He thought of Christ
bearing his cross while the Romans beat him and the crowd jeered. The raft had
to be lighter than that, and it wasn’t his own death waiting when he reached
the water, but instead his salvation. He had no room for complaint.
The third time he stumbled, he
barked his shin on a rock. The gash didn’t hurt, but blood slicked his skin. He
cursed mildly and started to rise to his feet. A hand on his shoulder stopped
him.
‘Take a break, ese,’ the
man said. ‘You’ve been busting your hump all day. It’s time for lunch.’
‘I can keep going,’ Ramon said. ‘No
trouble.’
‘Yeah, okay, you’re a bad ass.
Got it. Put your fucking leg up and I’ll go find us some food.’
Ramon chuckled, then shrugged off
the yoke and rolled onto his back. The sky was darker now, closer than a
cathedral’s ceiling. He heard what might have been distant thunder or only a
heightened awareness of the blood in his own ears. The man shook his head and
turned away. Ramon smiled.
It was strange, not knowing
whether or not he liked the man who was himself. He’d never seen how he was
from the outside. Smart, resourceful, tough as old leather, but wound tight
around his fears and ready to blame everyone but himself. All that insecurity
and rage fizzing inside him, ready to explode at the slightest provocation,
strutting around like a bantam cock, staring down whoever was nearby. This was
what he had always been. Only it took becoming an alien monstrosity to see it.
But there was a dignity to the
man, in spite of his flaws. And a surprising strength of will. He’d engineered
Maneck’s death. He’d sealed the stump of his missing finger when most men would
have tried to live with the open wound, and the fact he wasn’t dying of fever
right now was a testament to his wisdom. He was even capable of a kind of weird
compassion. Keeping Ramon from pushing on now. Lying about Lianna so he wouldn’t
sound weak. What was he really like? All the pieces of the man’s personality
seemed at odds with each other, and they also seemed to fit.
The only thing that didn’t make
sense to him, even now, was staying with Elena. He couldn’t see why his twin
would do that. He understood why he would have, but this other self
could surely do better. Even if they were the same man.
He didn’t remember dozing off, only
waking when the man shook his arm. Ramon slapped a hand over the scar at his
elbow almost before his eyes opened. The man was squatting beside him, two fat jabali
cubs in his hand. Ramon sat up, his body protesting.
‘Where did you get those?’ he
asked.
‘I got lucky,’ the man said. ‘Come
on, I’ve got a fire started. You can talk with me while I clean these poor pendejos.’
Ramon levered himself up to
sitting, and then stood.
‘Tomorrow, I’ll cook,’ he said. ‘You
did breakfast and lunch both.’
‘Go ahead,’ the man said. ‘You
want to make some food, I’m not going to stop you.’
Ramon sat close to the fire,
watching the man gut and skin the little animals. The wood hissed and popped,
the flame fluttered with a sound like wings when a gust of air blew through it.
It would take them another couple of hours to reach the lower riverbank. He
wondered if it would be raining by then, and which of them would spend the
night in the lean-to. Pushing himself as hard as he had would win the man’s
respect, but probably not so much as that.
‘You from Mexico?’ the man asked.
‘What?’
‘Mexico. On Earth. That where you
from?’
‘Yeah,’ Ramon said. ‘Oaxaca. Why?’
‘Just thinking. You look like a mejicano.
You’ve got that kind of face.’
Ramon stared at the fire, willing
the man to talk about anything but how he looked. Either the man picked up on
it, or he hadn’t been that concerned with the subject to start.
‘What’s it like, being a cop?’ he
asked instead. ‘You like it?’
‘Yeah,’ Ramon said. ‘I like it.
It’s a good job, you know?’
‘Looks shitty to me,’ the man
said. ‘No offense. But all the time, you have to take guys who are just trying
to get along and bust their balls. And why? Because the governor tells you to?
So what? I mean, who’s the governor? You take away his power and his money, and
you think he’s going to act any different than the folks he’s coming down on?’
‘Yeah, well,’ Ramon said, trying
to think how a cop would answer. ‘The governor’s a snooty Portugee prick. That’s
true. But it’s not all like that. Yeah, part of it’s colonial bullshit.
Checking licenses and permits and shit. But it’s not just about that.’
‘No?’
‘No,’ Ramon said. ‘There’s also
the real bad pendejos. The guys who sneak into church, piss all over the
altar. The ones who mess with children. I deal with those assholes too.’
‘Guys who stab ambassadors, you
mean?’ the man said, his voice cool.
‘Fuck that. I mean bad ones.
The kind that need killing. You know what I mean.’
The man looked up. There was
blood on his hands, red and darkening. Ramon saw something in the man’s face -
something unexpected. Pain. Embarrassment. Regret. Pride. Something.
‘There’s all kinds of crazy
bastards out there,’ Ramon said, still pretending to be a policeman. ‘Most of
the time, we don’t care about people just getting on with their lives. But
there’s rapists. There’s the guys who just want to kill people for no reason.
And there’s nothing worse than someone who hurts kii.’
‘Kii?’
‘Children,’ Ramon said, surprised
at himself for the slip. ‘Kids who are too small to defend themselves. Or even
know what’s going on. There’s nothing fucking lower than that. That’s why I’m a
cop. And people know it, you know? People know that on one side, there’s them,
and then on the other side, there’s me.’
Ramon broke off. He didn’t know
what he was saying anymore. The words, the thoughts. They were all jumbled in
his head. The Enye crushing tiny alien things; the European; Mikel Ibrahim
taking his knife; the feeling of being Maneck and watching his people die.
Maneck was right. They shouldn’t laugh. There was nothing to laugh about. If
she just hadn’t laughed.
‘You okay?’ the man asked.
‘Yeah,’ Ramon said. ‘I’m fine. I
just…I’m fine.’
The man nodded, and turned back
to the carcasses, holding them over the fire. Letting the fat liquefy, the
muscle tissues sear. The scent of rain was growing stronger. They both ignored
it.
‘I could have been a cop,’ the
man said at last. ‘I’d have been good.’
‘You would have,’ Ramon agreed,
wrapping his arms around his drawn-up knees. ‘You’d have been great.’
They were silent, the only sounds
the hissing of grease as it dripped into the fire and the constant rustling of
leaves. The man turned the carcasses, setting the other sides to brown.
‘That was a good call, back
there. When we were trying to get to shore. I didn’t even see that pinche rock.
But you, ese. You headed right for it. We’d have gone over for sure if
you hadn’t.’
He was giving Ramon an out; a way
to change the subject. Even without knowing what it was that was bothering him,
the man knew it was a kindness to steer away from it, and Ramon clutched at the
chance.
‘It’s all about flow,’ he said. ‘Knowing
how it looks when there’s something disrupting it. It just feels different, you
know.’
‘Whatever it was, you did a
fucking man’s job of it,’ the man said. ‘I couldn’t have.’
Ramon waved the compliment away.
If this went on too long, they’d cross the line into patronizing. He didn’t
want that. Right now, for this moment, he liked the man. He wanted very much to
like his twin, and the cabron wasn’t often very likable.
‘You’d have done the same if you’d
been steering,’ Ramon said.
‘Nah, man. I really wouldn’t.’
And it struck Ramon that that
might be true. Being inside Maneck’s head might have taught him something about
being a river. About flow. Just because he and the other man had started
off the same, these last few days had been different for the both of them.
There was no reason that they should be identical now. They’d had different
experiences, learned different lessons from the world. He hadn’t lost a finger.
His twin hadn’t had the sahael digging into his throat.
You are not to diverge from the
man, Maneck’s voice rumbled in the back of his mind. But how could he help it?
The world looked different, depending on where you sat.
They ate, digging into the cooked
flesh with their fingers. The meat was hot; it burned his fingers a little. But
it tasted like the finest meal he’d ever had. Hunger did that. The other man
seemed to feel the same. He was grinning as he stripped the still-pink flesh
from the bones. They talked about other things, safer ones. When the time came
to start again, the man picked up the yoke.
‘You go on ahead, clear the path,’
he said, shrugging the vine into place on his shoulders. ‘I’ll haul this piece
of crap the rest of the way.’
‘You don’t have to do that,’
Ramon said, but his twin waved the objection away. Ramon was secretly relieved.
His body felt beaten half to death the way he’d been abusing it. But still,
there was a problem. ‘I can’t do it, man. You’ve still got the knife.’
His twin scowled, pulled the
blade from his field pack, and held it out, handle first. Ramon nodded when he
took it. They didn’t say anything more about it.
Clearing brush turned out to be
almost as arduous as hauling the raft. Every step seemed to require hacking
away some bush or sapling. And the knife was growing dull with use. Twice,
sudden sheets of rain descended, pattering on the leaves and Ramon’s shoulders,
but the little squalls didn’t last. When the storm did hit - if it hit - it
promised to be rough. But perhaps the runoff would speed the river.
It was just before dark when they
reached the water’s edge. Ramon tried for a low whoop, but it came out sounding
sarcastic. The man grinned wearily. They surveyed the damage their transit had
caused. One of the floats had lost a few ties and needed rebinding. The
structure of branches that made up the bulk of the raft had suffered, but not
so badly that Ramon felt moved to repair it.
‘Give me the knife,’ his twin
said. ‘I’ll strip a little bark, tie that cane back together. You get a little
firewood, and we can launch this motherfucker again. Leave tonight, maybe
outrun this weather.’
‘Good idea,’ Ramon said. ‘But you
sure you don’t want to get the firewood? It’s easier than stripping bark.’
‘I don’t want to take another
fucking step,’ the man said. ‘You do it.’
Ramon handed back the knife in
answer. His twin smiled as if some tacit agreement had just been made with the
weapon’s return. Ramon pulled himself back into the trees to the sound of the
other man scraping steel against the whetstone. It was a fast-growth forest
here, soft wood that rose quickly and collapsed. No centuries-old copperwood
here. Just black-barked idiotrail and the spiral-trunked godsarm oaks. It would
be easy to find fallen branches and double handfuls of moss analogs to use for
tinder. The question was how many trips back to the raft he wanted to make before
they set out.
If it was raining upstream - and
it was clearly raining upstream - the runoff could raise the level of the river
any time. It might already be running high. If they were lucky, the extra
runoff might cut over some of the bends and give them a straighter path to the
south.
Lost in his calculations, Ramon
didn’t realize what he was looking at until he felt the fear start his heart
beating hard and fast. There, in the soft ground, were fresh prints wide as his
two hands together. A four-lobed paw with deep-dug claw marks. Chupacabra. Somewhere
nearby was a fucking chupacabra!
He dropped the branches held in
his arms, and turned to run back to the river, but he hadn’t made it halfway
before he skidded around a stand of close-knit godsarm oaks and found the beast
itself, glaring at him with what seemed like equal parts hunger and hatred. The
mouth hung open, the thick, split tongue lolling out of it. Its teeth were
yellowed and sharp as daggers. Ramon froze, and the black, rage-filled eyes met
his. He braced himself for death, but the thing didn’t attack. Even then,
knowing something was wrong, it took the space of five fast breaths together
before he noticed the flattening in the animal’s neck ruff, the fleshy,
rope-like thing buried in the chupacabra’s neck. A sahael.
He let his gaze move past the chupacabra
to the form looming behind it. Beaten, battered, slashed across its chest
and legs, Maneck still stood at its full, towering height. Its wounded eye had
gone black and oozed a noxious ichor, but the uninjured one remained the hot
orange Ramon remembered. The alien’s arms waved for a moment, gently as kelp
under the sea. When it spoke, its deep, half-sorrowful voice was perfectly
familiar. ‘You have done well,’ it said.
* * * *
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
‘What the fuck?’ Ramon said through a tight throat. ‘You’re dead!
You died!’
The alien shifted its head. The
quills rose slightly and fell again.
‘What you say is aubre. I
am not dead, as you can see,’ Maneck said. ‘Your task was to engage in flow as
the man would. You have done so in accordance with your tatecreude. My
own function was compromised for a time, but has now returned to its proper
channel.’
‘How did you find me?’
‘The river flows south. You are
constrained by the river,’ Maneck said. ‘This is a strange question.’
‘But we were traveling faster
than you. We could have been on the other bank of the river. You couldn’t know
we’d be here.’
‘I could not reach you farther
down the river than I could go. I could not reach you on the river’s opposite bank.
Therefore I went where I could go that you could as well. You suggest things
that are not the case. This is aubre. You must cease to express aubre.’
The chupacabra emitted a
low growl, its body shifting and restless, but constrained. There were scorch
marks along the beast’s side where Maneck had shot it; the fur had burned away
and left wide streaks of reddened, blistered flesh. Maneck had given, it
seemed, as good as it got. The sahael pulsed twice, the bruised flesh
engorging like a worm’s. Ramon felt a passing ghost of sympathy for the chupacabra.
At least when he had suffered the thing in his neck, he’d understood what
was happening. He wondered how many times Maneck had punished the chupacabra
before it had understood that it was no longer its own master. And how many
tricks the alien had been able to teach it.
‘So,’ he said, with a bravado he
didn’t feel. ‘What’ve you got planned now? You can’t just kill the poor fucker.’
Maneck paused again.
‘You are not accurate,’ it said. ‘The
man must not know of us. The illusion of his knowledge will be corrected. You
have proved yourself an apt tool. That will be expressed. The man is by the
water now? We must approach him quickly.’
‘They’re here,’ Ramon said. ‘The
eaters-of-the-young. Those are their ships overhead. What if they’re watching?
What if they see you?’
Maneck seemed to hesitate, but it
might only have been Ramon’s overwhelming desire that made it seem so. The
alien head bobbed.
‘They do that, you know,’ Ramon
went on. ‘They have sensors. Eyes. Last time they came through, the governor
asked them to help find a kid that got lost out on the tierra hueso. And
they did it. Took them a couple hours, and they told us exactly where the
little pendejo was. How do you know they’re not watching me right now?
Tracking me because of that man I killed? You go out there where they can see
you and kill him, they’ll see the energy blast. And you think they’ll mistake
that for a tree falling or something? They’ll know.’
It was the purest line of
bullshit Ramon had ever spun. Maneck wouldn’t need to fire an energy blast to
kill the other man, not with a fucking attack chupacabra on a leash
ready to do whatever it was told. For that matter, Maneck was strong enough to
wring the man’s neck like a chicken’s with its bare hands without any other
help at all. But he didn’t have the leash in his neck to tell Maneck what his
intentions were anymore, or help it judge when he was lying. If the alien didn’t
believe him, the worst it could do was kill him. He waited, chest thrust out
like he was spoiling for a fight. Maneck shifted its body from side to side.
The chupacabra whined.
‘What better course do you
recommend?’ Maneck asked.
‘You let me go back to him,’
Ramon said. ‘You stay right here. You get it? Right here. I’ll think of a
reason for him to come back with me here. Under the trees where they won’t see
you, get it? Then you can correct whatever fucking illusion you want.’
Because, he didn’t say, we’ll be
on that raft again and out of here while you’re still standing around like the
ugly girl at a dance. Maneck was quiet and still as stone for the length of
three slow breaths.
‘Why would you do this?’ the
alien asked at last.
‘It’s my tatecreude, monster.
I’m supposed to help you track him down, right? Well here I am. Helping.’
‘No,’ Maneck said, and its voice
seemed almost relieved. ‘Your function was to behave as the man would. You are
attempting deceit.’
‘So what do you think the man would
do then?’ Ramon demanded, the despair blooming in his chest, expressing itself
in rage. ‘I’m trying to save my own skin. You think he wouldn’t give up fucking
anyone to help himself out?’
‘No,’ the alien said. ‘He would
not. You have performed your function, I must now - ’
The shriek was high and squeaked
at the end, like a little girl’s cry of alarm or delight. All eyes - Ramon’s,
Maneck’s, the chupacabra’s - shifted. The man stood in the path behind
Ramon. His face was pale and bloodless as marble.
‘This is in accordance,’ Maneck
said. ‘The flow brings him down the specific path. You are sometimes excellent
creatures. I suspect it is your ignorance that…the man? Where is he going? You
will restrain him! You will do so immediately!’
‘Stay there! Stay there! Stay
there!’ Ramon shouted over his shoulder as he bolted off after the other man.
The alien likely wouldn’t remain where it was, but even if it only paused for a
moment, it was a moment more than they’d had. As soon as he thought Maneck
could no longer hear him, he turned all his energy and attention to just
running. If they could get to the raft, get out onto the river, they could
still outpace the bastard. They could still get away. If only Ramon hadn’t
built a lean-to. If the pinche river could have kept its waterfalls to
itself. If anything that had made them pause in the journey hadn’t happened,
Ramon wouldn’t have been crashing through the forest, lifting his legs high to
clear brush and roots and stones, the alien and its new pet chupacabra close
behind. He found himself calling out to the man, his twin, who was already so
far ahead that Ramon couldn’t see him.
‘Go!’ he shouted. ‘Run! Go, you
bastard!’
If he could just reach the river…
Ramon reached the river. The
water was fierce and the roar of the cataract louder than he remembered it. The
other man was nowhere Ramon could see, and where the raft had been, deep muddy
furrows angled down the bank. It took a moment for him to believe it. Powered
by mortal fear, desperation, and panic, the other man had somehow managed to
launch the raft by himself, something Ramon wouldn’t have believed possible. He
ran out, his feet sinking into the mud, cold water soaking his knees and
thighs. There, five meters out from the bank and ten or more from where he
stood, the raft bobbed on the rushing water, his twin crouched at the helm.
Ramon could see his wide, fear-rounded eyes.
‘Stop!’ he shouted. ‘Get back
here! Stop!’
The man on the raft waved; a wide
frantic gesture that carried no meaning. Ramon spat out a stream of invective,
wading uncertainly out into the water. When he looked over his shoulder, Maneck
and the chupacabra were just coming into sight, slowed only slightly by
the cumbersome leash and Maneck’s wounds. Ramon lifted a hand to the alien, his
palm out; a gesture that was intended to mean It’s ok, I’ve got it. And
then, before waiting for the alien’s response, he took a deep breath and dove.
His robe soaked through in an instant, but he didn’t stop to shed it. Under the
water’s surface, the river seemed misty - tiny bubbles from the cataract and
floating silt conspired to hide anything at more than a meter’s distance. Arms
and legs flailing, Ramon struck out for where he thought the raft would be.
The man, like him, was at the
mercy of the water, Ramon told himself. They’d be pulled along at the same
rate. All he had to do was make up the distance. The turbulence was hard,
though, and Ramon felt the water buffeting him as he fought to rise up for air.
‘Motherfucker!’ he shouted as his
head broke the surface, and his mouth filled with water before he could say
more. The raft was closer, but not as near as Ramon had hoped. A blast of
energy lit the air; Maneck firing from the shore. The man yelped and started
working the oar as Ramon took another breath and dove again. Maybe Maneck would
hit the sonofabitch and solve Ramon’s problems for him.
The cold here was unpleasant, but
not the vicious, deadly chill it had been farther upriver. Maybe they were
farther south than Ramon had thought. Or maybe there was warmer water from rain
swelling the flow, as he’d expected. The water above him glowed twice more as
Maneck fired. So at least the raft was still that close. A swirl in the gloom
warned him a moment before he struck a wave of powerful turbulence, the water
hitting him in the gut with the power of a fist. He lost his air, the bubbles
rising awkwardly as he clawed his way after them.
The river was definitely faster.
Already, Maneck seemed like a tiny figure on the distant shore. Inexplicably,
the chupacabra was loping down the bank, free of the sahael and
running like all the demons of Hell were after it. Ramon spat and bobbed,
trying to find his twin and the raft. The other man had drawn farther out into
the river and was yelling something, his face flushed almost purple and his
mouth gaping wide. Ramon couldn’t tell if the asshole was yelling at him or at
Maneck or at God. Maneck seemed to have given up the shooting match, so Ramon
didn’t dive again. He broke into a crawl, kicking at the waves, lifted by them.
Tossed. Slowly, the raft drew near, and then the river drove them apart and
brought them near again. The other man was on his knees now, the oar extended
out into the water. He was still shouting. Ramon couldn’t yet make out words,
but the man’s expression was more nearly one of encouragement now.
Too little, too late, cabron, he
thought, but reached for the oar all the same. His fingers grazed it, the
coarse grain of the wood feeling improbably solid after struggling in the
water. He pushed again, surging forward, catching it in both hands and pulling
it close to his body. He felt the tug as the man pulled him in toward the raft,
but Ramon let himself hang limp, his arms and legs tingling with exhaustion.
Let the little coward sonofabitch do some of the work.
It was less than a minute before
the man’s hand touched Ramon’s shoulder. The raft was right before him. Ramon
raised his arm, throwing it onto the laced branches. He pulled, and the other
man helped, dragging him up. Ramon lay on the raft’s leafy deck, his sodden
robe heavy as lead, his lungs working like bellows.
‘Fuck!’ the other man said. ‘I
thought you weren’t going to make it there, ese.’
Thanks, Ramon thought, but didn’t
spend the energy to say.
‘Bastard sonofabitch tracked us,’
the man said, returning to the oar and the river. ‘I thought you said the chupacabra
killed him.’
‘I thought it did,’ Ramon said,
sitting up. He belched. It tasted of silt. ‘Maneck used the sahael on
the poor fucker. He enslaved it. Never thought I’d feel sorry for a chupacabra.
Did we get any firewood at all before - ’
He looked up at the man, his
twin, and saw horror on the familiar face. Ramon blinked, looking back over his
shoulder. He expected anything: Maneck walking on the water like some alien
Christ, another wall of cataract mist, even the European back from Hell with the
Devil at his side. There was nothing. Gray river, stormy sky. Waves with tiny
touches of white. He looked back at the man. The oar was forgotten in his hand;
his face a mask of fear.
‘What?’ Ramon said, then looked
down. His robe had fallen open. His belly was in the light, the thick ropy scar
livid against the brown of his skin. ‘Oh. That.’
‘Jesus Christ,’ the other
whispered. ‘You’re me!’ He was staring at him in frozen horror.
‘Calm down,’ Ramon said. ‘I can
explain - ’
‘What are you?’ the man shouted. ‘What
the fuck are you?’
The man had drawn the knife.
Lightning lit the world, flashing from the naked blade. A crackling detonation
of thunder. Ramon rose to his feet, unsteady on the tilting raft.
‘What the fuck are you?’ There was hysteria in the man’s
voice now. He’d dropped the oar. It was floating away, a prisoner of the river.
‘Listen to me! Would you stop
being such a little pissant and fucking listen to me?’ Ramon said. Then
looking at the man’s eyes - eyes he’d seen in the mirror his whole life - he
sighed. ‘Fuck it. Never mind.’
There was no point. This wasn’t a
talking fight anymore.
* * * *
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Two and a half meters by two and a half meters, the space
complicated by the firepit, the lean-to. This was the kind of fight that didn’t
last long. Ramon pulled off the sodden robe and wound it around one arm, scuttling
to get the lean-to between them. Going into a knife fight naked didn’t make him
happy, but with the full robe wrapped around his forearm, he had something he
could block with. And his twin had to hold the blade in his left hand, where
Ramon could use his right. They weren’t evenly matched. Not close. Ramon was
going to lose.
The other man went into a low
crouch, the knife at the ready. There was nothing. If there had been some
firewood, he might have been able to grab a branch and use it as a club. If the
oar hadn’t floated off into the darkening gray, he might have used it like a
staff.
‘You led them here!’ the other
man shouted.
‘I didn’t!’
‘Lying sack of shit!’ the man
yelled. ‘You’re one of
them. You’re a monster!’
‘Yes. Yes, I am. And I’m still
a better man than you.’
‘Monster!’
Ramon didn’t bother to answer.
The man had made up his mind. Just the way Ramon would have in his place. The
one thing he understood was that there was no reason, no explanation, no
perspective he could bring to this that would make the ending any different
from what it was going to be.
‘You’re a fucking coward, you
know that?’ Ramon said, hoping to enrage his twin into making a mistake. ‘You’re
a pussy. Elena’s a waste of air, and you know it.’
‘Don’t fucking talk about her!’
‘You were in love with
that cook, Lianna. The one you stole from Martin Casaus. And you don’t even
have the fucking balls to say so! You hang on to Elena because you’re scared
not to. Because, without her, you know you aren’t part of anything or anyone.
You’re just some pendejo with a third-class van and some prospecting
tools.’
Rage flushed the other man’s
face. Ramon bent his knees, center of gravity low, ready to dodge in whatever
direction he needed to. Except back. There was no raft left behind him.
‘You don’t know shit!’
‘I know everything. Come
on, bitch,’ Ramon said. ‘You want to dance? Fine. Come on. I’ll fuck you up and
shit you out.’
The man swung wild, the raft
rocking with his shifting weight. Ramon sidestepped and turned, throwing a kick
that connected with empty air. The man swung around in a lower stance now. They’d
done little more than trade places. The knife was held sideways before him in a
defensive block. The anger had drained out of the other man; his eyes were
slitted and cold. That wasn’t good. If he’d been possessed by fear and blind
rage, Ramon would have had a chance. If the bastard was thinking, then
Ramon had just become the European.
The man feinted left and then
right, his eyes locked on Ramon’s. Testing him. Ramon danced back, his feet
finding the rough edge of the raft. The man swung, and Ramon dove into the
attack, getting under and past the knife before it could score him. The raft
creaked and bucked, making them both stumble, but the man was the first to
regain his feet. Another stroke of lightning flashed. Thunder came almost
before the glow had faded. Ramon grinned. His twin did as well. Whatever else,
however bad this was, there was still a certain joy in it.
Under what circumstances do you
kill?
When the motherfucker needs to
die.
Ramon took a careful swing with
his unarmored hand, then dodged quickly when the knife flickered up to block
him. The other man thrust low, leaving a shallow cut on Ramon’s leg, just above
the knee. It was nothing. He forgot about it. They circled awkwardly, Ramon
bouncing gently on the balls of his feet. A light rain began, making the
iceroot leaves beneath them slick. The other man gathered himself for a rush,
the subtle bunching of his shoulders giving his intentions away. Ramon jumped,
making the raft shift crazily. The man slipped to one knee, and then rose again
immediately.
‘You killed him because you
thought it would make them like you!’ Ramon shouted.
‘What?’
‘You killed the pinche European
because you thought all those people in the El Rey would think you were
a fucking hero! You’re pathetic!’
‘Fuck you, monster!’ the other
man said, and swung. It was what had to happen. Ramon didn’t give himself time
to think; he jumped forward, letting the blade skate across his ribs, pinning
the man’s arm against his side. Pain shrieked as the knife touched bone, but
the man couldn’t pull back to stab again. Ramon used his free hand to grab the
man’s injured hand and squeeze. His twin grunted with pain and tried to pull
back. They wrestled together in a drunken embrace. This close, he could smell
the other man, a rank, musky, unwashed reek that he found amazingly
unpleasant. His breath huffed into Ramon’s face like a blast of foul air,
stinking of dead meat. Ramon kept the blade arm pinned against his side, but
the other man lost his footing, and they slid to the deck together. Rain and
river water splashed over them. Something struck the raft, and it spun crazily;
there was no oar to stabilize them and no oarsman.
‘You shouldn’t be alive, you
fucking abomination,’ the man hissed. ‘You shouldn’t be alive!’
‘The thing is, you don’t
understand flow,’ Ramon said, in a strangely conversational tone, as if they
were having a beer together in a bar somewhere. ‘You don’t understand what it
is to be part of something bigger. And, Ramon, you poor bastard, you aren’t
ever going to know, either.’ Then he butted his head into the bridge of his
twin’s nose. He could feel the bone give way, and the man yelped and pulled
back. Ramon stuck with him, and they rolled. The little lean-to dug into Ramon’s
back and then gave way with a snap. They turned once, both trying to regain
their feet; the man refusing to release the knife, Ramon refusing to release
his twin. Together, they fell in the water.
The water was numbing cold, the
glacier still in its blood. Ramon gasped despite himself and earned a throatful
of river water. The other thrashed and twisted, and then they were apart,
floating. Floating in a bright, flowing river. Ramon noticed the red bloom that
came from his side, his blood mixing with the water, becoming a part of it. He
was becoming the river.
It would have been easy to let it
happen. The living sea called to him, and part of him wanted very much to join
it, to become the river completely. But the part of him that was alien
remembered the threatened sorrow of
gaesu and the human part of him refused to be beaten, and together
the two parts of himself forced him on. He shifted, and kicked against the flow
with all his strength, the heat and blood pouring out of him.
In the raging flow of the river,
the one who lived would be the one who found the raft first. He kicked, spiraling
in the flow. The water around him was like a veil of pink. His blood. The
thought flickered through his mind how bad did he get me and was gone.
There wasn’t time.
He found the raft, a darkness on
the water, and swam toward it. In the corner of his eye, he saw the other man
flailing. A thick length of vine had come loose from the raft and was snaking
its way across the surface. Ramon gritted his teeth and pushed. Now. He could
make it there now.
He shot up from the water, his
arms slamming down on the top of the raft. The other man was to his left, also
crawling up, his breath a plume of water and spit. A branch caught on
something; Ramon thought it was his robe until he remembered that the cloth was
all wrapped around his arm. The wood had caught a flap of his own torn skin.
The other man was almost on the raft. Ramon pulled his leg up, his ankle on the
top, and pulled, desperately hauling himself up. The loose vine slid past his
back, bumping him like a water snake. The rain felt like a thousand tiny blows.
And he was up. He was on the raft again. He rolled over, and the man dropped a
foot heavily onto Ramon’s chest, pinning him.
His twin was breathing like he’d
just run a four-minute mile; his hair clung to his scalp like lichen on a
stone, and his mouth was a pale grin surrounded by blood from his broken nose.
Teeth like yellowed bone. Ramon tried to catch his breath, but the pressure
from the man’s foot prevented him. He felt the grin on his own face.
‘You got something to say before
you die, monster?’ his twin demanded.
‘Sure,’ Ramon said, then fought
to inhale. ‘You know what? Ramon?’
‘What?’
Ramon wheezed out a laugh.
‘You don’t like yourself very
much.’
Time took the strangely powerless
and dreamlike slowness that accompanies moments of horror and trauma. Ramon
took pleasure in tracking the reactions as they made their way across the man’s
face; surprise followed by confusion, confusion by embarrassment, embarrassment
by a rage that towered over Ramon like summer thunderheads dwarfed the
mountains, and all of it in less than two beats of his racing heart. The blade
drew back, prepared for the strike that would open Ramon’s throat. As he raised
his arms against it, Ramon thought of the marks on bones and skin that came
from dying men’s attempts to fend off steel with flesh; this was how those
marks were made and there was nothing more he could do now than show whatever
imagined coroner ever looked over his mortal remains that he’d put up Hell’s
own fight.
Ramon was screaming, pure animal
rage drowning out fear and the hopelessness of his effort, when the loose vine
reared up from the water like a pale serpent; wires sparking and hissing in the
place where its head would have been.
The man jumped back. The killing
stroke became an awkward parry as the sahael lunged at him. Ramon rolled
until he was almost at the raft’s edge, then looked up.
The sahael had wrapped
itself twice around his twin’s leg, once around his belly, and was pressing its
maw toward the man’s neck. Ramon’s twin had both hands gripping the sahael, struggling
to hold it away from himself. The muscles in the man’s arms were bulging and
quivering; Ramon half expected to hear the bones snap under the strain. It only
took a moment to realize that if the man had both hands on his new attacker, he
must have dropped the knife.
Yes, there. In the ruins of the
lean-to, the blade caught the flash of lightning, and before the thunder could
crackle and detonate, Ramon was scrambling forward, hand outstretched. The worn
leather grip felt warm in his palm.
The man was shrieking something,
the same syllables over and over. It took Ramon a moment to realize that he was
saying kill it kill it kill it kill it. He didn’t pause to think, he
simply moved, his body knowing what it intended. He lunged forward, the knife
in his right hand, and punched it hard into the man’s belly. Then twice more,
to be sure. They were pushed together like lovers before Ramon pulled himself
away, the man’s bearded cheek rasping against his own, the man’s breath panting
against his face, rich with the earthy smell of decay. For a second, he could
feel the man’s heart hammering against his own breast. Then he stepped back.
The man’s face had gone white, his eyes round as coins. That same look of
surprise on his face, the look he’d seen on the European’s face; this can’t
be happening to me, not to me. The sahael, as if repelled by the
blood, dropped from Ramon’s twin to land in a coil at their feet.
‘Pinche puto,’ the man said and dropped to his
knees. The raft shuddered. Sheeting rain mixed with the blood pouring down the
man’s face, belly, and legs. Ramon stepped back and squatted. The sahael shifted,
as if considering each of them in turn, but it made no move to attack. ‘You’re
not me,’ the man gasped. ‘You’re never going to be me! You’re a fucking monster.’
Ramon shrugged, not arguing. ‘You
got anything else you want to say? Talk quick.’
His twin blinked as if he were
crying, but who could see tears in all the rain?
‘I don’t want to die!’ the other
whispered. ‘Please Jesus, I don’t want to die!’
‘No one does,’ Ramon said gently.
His twin’s face shifted,
hardened. He gathered himself, raised himself up a bit, and spat full in Ramon’s
face.
‘Fuck you, asshole!’ the other
rasped. ‘Tell them I died like a man!’
‘Better you than me, cabron,’ Ramon
said, ignoring the spittle running down his face.
* * * *
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Ramon’s twin sank down, his eyes focused on the angels, or on
whatever it was dying men saw; something Ramon couldn’t see, anyway. His mouth
went slack, and blood rushed through his lips and down over his chin.
Was there the faintest of tugs as
the other died, as whatever bond was between them broke? Or was it just his
imagination? It was impossible to say.
Ramon rolled the body to the edge
of the raft and pushed it into the water. His twin’s corpse bobbed once, twice,
and then slid beneath the water. He wiped the dead man’s spit from his face
with the back of his palm.
The storm was pushing the little
raft one way and then another, and Ramon couldn’t say how much of his nausea
was from the unpredictable spinning and shudders of the craft, how much from
the death of his other self, and how much from the loss of his own blood. The
sahael snaked across the raft, its pale flesh reminding Ramon of a worm
now more than a snake. Its wires sparked, but did not turn to him.
‘We got a problem, you and me?’
he asked, but the alien thing didn’t respond. He hadn’t known that Maneck could
send the sahael out to operate on its own; or perhaps Maneck was
controlling it from a distance somehow. Either way, it was more versatile than
he’d thought. Maneck must have launched it after them as soon as he’d freed the
chupacabra from it.
Ramon let out a long sigh and
considered his wounds. The cut across his side was serious, but it hadn’t gone
so deep that he had to worry about a collapsed lung. That was good. His leg, he
discovered, had also been pierced at some point. He remembered something from
the beginning of the fight. It was a little hard to recall the details. The
wound bled freely, but it was superficial. He’d be fine.
He could feel the adrenaline dissipating.
His hands were shaking, the nausea growing worse. He was surprised to find
himself weeping, and more surprised than that to find the tears had their
source not in exhaustion or fear or even the release that came after a bad
fight. The sorrow that possessed him was profound. He mourned his twin; the man
he had once been. His brother and more than brother was gone, and gone because
he himself had killed him.
Perhaps it had been fated to end
this way; the colony had room for only one of them. And so either he or his
twin had had to die. His dreams of slipping away, becoming a new man had been
just that. Dreams. And now, like the body of the man he’d killed, they slipped
away. He was Ramon Espejo. He had always been Ramon Espejo. He had never had a
real hope of being anyone else.
He unwrapped the sodden robe from
his arm slowly. His awareness of the pain was growing. His pierced side was the
most pressing issue. He could hold the robe against it, maybe stanch the
bleeding. He wondered whether it would help if he wrung the cloth out first. He
tried to guess how far he was from Fiddler’s Jump and medical help. And what,
he asked himself, would they find when they looked at him? Had Maneck and his
people left any surprises for the doctors?
Even awash in his grief and
uncertainty and pain, some part of Ramon’s mind must have anticipated the
attack. It was no more than a flicker in the corner of his vision; the sahael
lashed out at him, thrusting spearlike. He didn’t think. The blade was
simply where it needed to be at the instant it needed to be there, the
human-made steel impaling the alien flesh just inches below the wires at the
thing’s head. Ramon’s heart didn’t race. He didn’t even flinch. He was too
tired for that.
The sahael let out a long,
high whine. A spark blackened the tip of the knife where it protruded through
the thing’s thin body. Snake-like, the sahael thrashed, pulling Ramon
one way and then the other with its throes. He drove the blade’s tip into a
branch, pinning the sahael to the wood. The flesh below the blade was
pale and thrashing violently. The wires and mucus membrane that had once
burrowed into Ramon’s neck was lolling like a dead thing.
‘If you get back,’ Ramon said,
then forgot what he was doing. His flesh felt heavy as waterlogged timber. A
few breaths later, he remembered. ‘I did Maneck’s job for him, but I’m Ramon
Espejo, not someone’s goddam dog. You get back, you tell them that. You and all
the rest of them can go fuck yourselves.’
If the sahael understood
him, it gave no sign. Ramon nodded and muttered a string of perfunctory obscenities
as he jerked the knife free and shoved the snakelike body off the raft. It
sank into the water; only the head was visible as it bobbed away through the
rain, first dim, then grayed, then gone. Ramon sat for a moment, the raindrops
tapping his back and shoulders. A roll of thunder roused him.
‘Sorry, monster,’ he said to the
river. ‘It’s just…what it is.’
There was too much to do. He had
to pull himself together. He was cold. He was seriously injured and losing
blood. He’d lost the oar and with it what little steering power he’d had. They’d
never gotten any firewood onto the raft and he didn’t have anything left to
light a fire with anyway, although he’d need to dry off and warm up once the
storm passed. His mind whirled back to the cataract and the queer peace that
had settled over him when he’d been stuck on the rock. The thought related
somehow to the dream of being Maneck and his trip from Earth with the Enye. He
had a sense of something profound coming clear, like recognizing a face once
known and then forgotten. When he realized he’d fallen asleep and forced his
eyes to open again, the rain had stopped and a wide gold-and-green sunset was
lighting the clouds from below. He heard the chiming call of a flock of
flapjacks somewhere far above him.
He had to get an oar. Something
to steer with in case there was another waterfall or rapids. But he’d hear the
roar of it if there were one, and his twin owed him a watch anyway. Let the pendejo
stay up and keep them safe. Serve the bastard right after he’d blown Ramon
off back in the forest. He had wrapped himself in the ruins of the iceroot
leaves, the wide fronds reflecting his own body’s heat back against him, before
he noticed the flaw in that plan, and by then he was too comfortable to care
whether he died.
Days passed in fever. Reality and
dream, past and future, knotted together. Ramon found himself possessed by the
memory of things that could never have happened - flying like a sparrow over
the rooftops of Mexico City with a slat of the alien yunea in his teeth,
Elena weeping like a baby about his death and then fucking Martin Casaus on his
grave, trekking through the bush with the raft strapped to his forehead, Maneck
and the pale alien in the pit applauding and throwing a celebratory party for
him - all hail Ramon Espejo, hero of monsters! - both of them wearing silly
cone-shaped party hats and blowing noise-makers. His consciousness vibrated,
split, and reformed like a bubble rising through turbulent water. In his rare
moments of lucidity, he drank the fresh, clear water of the river and tended as
best he could to his wounds. The cut on his ribs was scabbing over, but his leg
had the hot, angry look of infection. He would have considered re-opening the
wound in case there was some foreign body - wood or cloth or Christ alone knew
what - that was keeping him from healing, but sometime during his fever dreams,
he’d lost the knife - maybe it had washed over the side - and he no longer had
anything he could use to operate. One time, when he woke in the middle
afternoon, he felt so strong and well, he imagined he might be able to catch a
fish to eat. But just going to the raft’s edge to drink had exhausted him.
One night Little Girl sailed
overhead, but the moon had Elena’s face, peering down at him disapprovingly. I told you a chupacabra would
get you! the moon said.
On another night - or was it
later the same night? - he saw La Llorona, the Crying Woman, walking the
river bank, luminescent in the darkness, wringing her hands and wailing over
all the children who had been lost, her grief endless and inconsolable.
Another time, he had caught up on
a sandbar and spent the better part of a day wondering how he might get the
raft loose in his weakened state before realizing that he was wearing clothes -
his shirt, his field jacket - and was therefore still asleep and dreaming. He
woke to find the raft still well in the middle of the wide, now placid river.
Most unnerving, though, were the voices
in the water. Maneck, his twin, the European, Lianna. Even when he was fully
awake, he could hear them in the clicking and murmuring of the water, like a
conversation in a nearby room whose words he could almost make out. Once he
thought his twin was screaming. Madre de Dios, help me! Help me! Please
Jesus, I don’t want to die!
The worst was when he heard
Maneck laughing.
The small, still part of his mind
that could sometimes watch the rest and evaluate it understood all of this. The
hallucinations, the burning thirst strong enough to motivate even a man lost in
the ruin of his own mind, the swelling and reddening leg. Ramon was in trouble,
and there was nothing he could do to save himself. He was too disorganized in
his thoughts to manage even the simplest of prayers.
Twice, he felt himself drifting
off into a strange twilight sleep. Both times he managed to will himself back
to awareness, death retreating perhaps halfway to shore. After all, Ramon
Espejo was a tough sonofabitch, and he was Ramon Espejo. Still, when the third
time came - as it inevitably would - he didn’t think he could pull himself back
again.
The Enye ships remained his only
companions. No longer hawks. Carrion crows and vultures, they hung in the sky,
watching him. Waiting for him to die.
When he heard unfamiliar voices
gabbling - high pitched and excited as monkeys - he thought at first that this
was some new phase of his deterioration. It wasn’t enough that he imagined
voices he knew; now the whole São Paulo colony would escort him down to Hell,
babbling in tongues. The fishing boat cutting through the water, moving slow to
keep its wake from swamping his raft, was a new dream. The rust-proof paint,
white and gray but decorated with a rough image of the Virgin, was a nice
touch. He wouldn’t have thought his mind capable of such lovely detail. He was
trying to make the Virgin wink at him when the raft tilted beneath him. A man
knelt at his side, his skin black as pitch, his eyes wide with concern.
A Yaqui was too much to hope for,
Ramon thought, but I always thought Jesus would at least look like a Mexican.
‘He’s alive!’ the man shouted;
Spanish had not been his first language, and whoever taught it to him had had a
distinct Jamaican accent. ‘Call Esteban! Hurry! And get me a line!’
Ramon blinked, tried to sit up,
and failed. There was a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him down.
‘It’s okay, muchacho,’ the
black man said. ‘It’s okay. We’ve got you. Esteban’s the best doctor on the
river. We’ll get you taken care of. Just don’t try to move.’
The raft thudded again, shifting
on the breast of the water. Something else happened, time skipping like he’d
dropped acid, and he was on a stretcher with his robe lying over him like a
blanket, rising up the side of the boat. The painted Virgin at his right winked
as he went past.
The deck stank of fish guts and
hot copper. Ramon craned his head, trying to make out something, anything, that
could tell him for certain that this was real and not another artifact of a
dying brain. He wet his lips with a sluggish tongue. A woman - fiftyish, gray-haired,
with an expression that said nothing could surprise her - sat on the deck
beside him. She took him by the wrist and he tried to grasp her. She turned his
wooden fingers aside, holding him firmly still as she took his pulse. Overhead,
the Enye ships blinked in and out of existence. The woman made a disapproving
sound and leaned forward.
It occurred to him for the first
time that he’d reached Fiddler’s Jump. His first reaction was relief so
profound it approached religious awe. His second was an unfocused, suspicious
anger that they might steal his raft.
‘Hey!’ the woman said again. He
didn’t know how often she’d said it, only that this wasn’t the first. ‘Do you
know where you are?’
He opened his mouth, frowning. He
had known. Just a moment ago. But it was gone.
‘Do you know who you are?’
That, at least, was worth a
chuckle. She seemed pleased by his reaction.
‘I am Ramon Espejo,’ he said. ‘And
hand-to-God, that’s all I can tell you.’
* * * *
PART FOUR
* * * *
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Ramon Espejo awoke floating in a sea of darkness.
The tiny lights - green and
orange, red and gold - that blinked or flickered around him illuminated
nothing. Ramon tried to sit up, but his body rebelled. Slowly, he became aware
of the machines around him, the pain in his body. For a muzzy half-sleeping
moment, he was certain that he was back in the strange caverns beneath the
mountain, back in the vat where he’d been born, swimming again in that
measureless midnight ocean. He must have cried out, because he heard the soft,
fast sound of human footsteps, and a cheap white LED light blinked on. He tried
to lift his arm against the sudden brightness, but he found himself tangled in
the thin tubes that were penetrating his flesh like a half-dozen sahaels. And
then there were hands on his wrists - human hands - guiding him back down to
the bed.
‘It’s okay, Señor Espejo. It’s
all right.’
The man had to be near fifty,
short gray hair in tight curls and a smile that looked like the aftermath of
sorrow. He wore a nurse’s smock. Ramon squinted, trying to see him better.
Trying to see the room better.
‘You know where you are, sir?’
‘Fiddler’s Jump,’ Ramon said,
surprised by the gravel in his voice.
‘Good guess,’ the nurse said. ‘They
brought you down from there about a week ago. You want another try? You know
what this building is?’
‘Hospital,’ Ramon said.
The nurse turned to look at him
more directly. It was as if he’d said something interesting.
‘You know why you’re here?’
‘I got fucked up,’ Ramon said. ‘I
was on a raft. I was prospecting up north. Things went bad on me.’
‘That’s pretty good. Up to now
you’ve been saying that you were swimming underwater, hiding from baby killers.
You keep this up, I’m telling the doctors that you’re oriented.’
‘Diegotown. I’m in Diegotown?’
‘Have been for days,’ the nurse
said. Ramon shook his head, vaguely surprised to find an oxygen tube stuck
under his nose and hissing softly. He reached up and started to pull it off.
‘Señor Espejo, don’t…you shouldn’t
take that off, sir.’
‘I gotta get out of here,’ Ramon
said. ‘I can’t stay in here.’
The man took his wrist, his grip
at the friction point between reassuring and painful. His gaze locked with
Ramon’s. He was beautiful, just for being a real person and not some kind of
alien, he was beautiful.
‘There’s no point, Señor Espejo.
The constabulary’s already been by here twice. If you try to go, I have to call
security. And you can’t outrun them.’
‘You don’t know that,’ Ramon
said. ‘I’m a tough sonofabitch.’
The man smiled, maybe a little
sadly.
‘We got a catheter running up
your cock, Señor Espejo. It’s what you’ve been peeing out of. I’ve seen men try
to pull it out. You’d wind up with a piss tube about as wide as your little
finger. You know, until it scars over.’
Ramon looked down. The nurse
nodded.
‘You’re gonna be here a while,
Ramon. Try to relax and heal up. I’ll bring you some fruit gel. You should try
to eat a little. Okay?’
Ramon rubbed a hand over his
face. His beard was thick and wiry, the way it had always been.
‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘Okay.’
The nurse patted him
sympathetically. He’d probably known a lot of men in his care who had been
visited by the constabulary. He might know what was coming better than Ramon
did.
Ramon lay back against the thin
hospital pillow, prepared for a long, anxious night, and fell asleep again
before he knew he was fading. He woke to the cool light of morning pressing at
the windows. He tried to watch a newsfeed, but the cheerful nattering voice of the
anchor annoyed him. He made do with the quiet hum of the machines, the distant
chiming alarms. He cataloged the aches in his body and wondered what he was
going to do.
At the start, it had been simple
- get out of town until the Enye came and went and the whole thing with the
European had blown over. And then get free, get back, and raise hell over
Maneck and his hive in the north. Then get back and remake himself, maybe leave
his twin to figure out the whole problem with the police. And now here he was,
back in Diegotown, tied down by his penis, and waiting for the constabulary to
arrive. Made the sahael seem dignified.
Outside, the city was alive with
morning traffic. Vans and transport flyers filled the air, catching the light
of the rising sun and reflecting it back into Ramon’s eyes like waves flashing
on water. The low throb of a shuttle’s lift drive announced some traffic
sliding up through the thin air to the ships hovering above. Ramon couldn’t see
the spaceport from his window, but he knew the sound the way men in ages past
had known the wail of trains.
The knock on his doorframe was
soft and polite. It said I don’t
have to intimidate you. I don’t give a shit if you’re scared of me or not. That’s
how much I own your sad ass. Ramon looked over. The man wore the dark
uniform of the governor’s constabulary. Ramon lifted a hand in greeting,
trailing the IV tube like
seaweed.
The man who came in was young and
strong. Wide through the shoulders, strong jaw freshly shaved, with still just
a shadow of stubble. He was the man Ramon had imagined chasing him up in the
north before he’d known about his twin, the man Ramon had pretended to be when
he was on the river. He was a convenient fiction made flesh.
‘You look a lot better, Señor
Espejo,’ the constable said. ‘Do you remember speaking with me before?’
Ramon plucked at the plastic
weave of his hospital gown. Whatever he’d said before didn’t count. He’d been
out of his pinche mind. If his story didn’t match, he could say he’d
been dreaming or something, so nothing before counted.
‘Sorry, ese. I’ve been a
little fucked up, you know?’
‘Yes,’ the constable said. ‘That’s
why I wanted to speak with you. Do you mind?’
Like the fucker would go away if
he said no. Ramon shrugged, added another little pain to his list of injuries,
and gestured toward the small plastic chair beside the hospital bed. The
constable nodded his imitation of thanks and sat on the foot of the bed
instead, his weight pulling the mattress toward him.
‘I was wondering what exactly
happened.’
‘You mean?’ Ramon gestured at his
ruin of a body. The constable nodded.
‘I got fucked up,’ Ramon said. ‘I
went out surveying up north. That’s what I do.’
‘I know.’
‘Yeah. Well. Anyway, I was up
there, and I landed my van at the river, right by this overhang. I figured it
was like shelter, right? So, middle of the night, the fucking thing gives out.
Must have been three, four tons of rock. Knocks my van right into the river.’
Ramon slapped his palms together,
the needle in his arm tugging at his flesh in a way that was disconcertingly
familiar.
‘I was lucky to get out alive,’
he said. The constable smiled coolly.
‘You got in a fight?’
Ramon felt his chest tighten. The
heart monitor to his left betrayed him, the blue LED numbers jumping to
something just shy of a hundred. The constable almost suppressed a smile.
‘I don’t know what you’re talking
about,’ Ramon said. ‘I thought you were here about the accident.’
‘The “accident” left knife wounds
in your side and your leg,’ the constable said. ‘Why don’t you tell me about
that.’
‘Oh, shit. That?’ Ramon said and
laughed. ‘No, man. That’s my own dumb fault. I had my knife, out of the field
kit. Used it to make the raft. Anyway, I was trying to cut some vines, and I
slipped. Fell right on it. I thought I was dead, you know?’
‘So. No fighting?’
‘Who’s out there to fight with?’
Ramon said. The blue numbers were slipping back down. The constable seemed
unfazed.
‘I notice that the field pack
wasn’t among the things recovered with you.’
‘Maybe it fell off the raft. I’m
not so clear on those last couple days out there.’
‘Can you tell me where your van
was when this landslide took it?’
‘Nah. It was all logged on the
computer. It wasn’t the main river though. It was one of the tributaries.’
There might be a hundred places that would match the description. Proving
Ramon was full of shit got a whole lot harder, just by him saying that. The
constable looked peeved.
You could tell him the truth, a
small voice in the back of Ramon’s mind murmured. Tell him about Maneck and the
yunea, the sahael, and the other Ramon. You could even give him
proof. You could lead them all right up to that pinche mountain and
everything under it. They took you prisoner, tortured you, almost got you
killed. You don’t owe them shit. You’ve got no reason to lie.
Except that the man was a cop,
and Ramon was a killer.
And besides which, fuck him.
The constable coughed, rubbed his
chin. The subject was about to change. Ramon took a breath, trying not to do
anything that would change the readings on his monitors. No wonder they wanted
to question him here and not wait until he could get out.
‘Do you know a woman named
Justina Montoya?’ the constable asked.
Ramon frowned, looking for the
trap in the question. He shook his head.
‘Don’t think so,’ Ramon said.
‘Calls herself Keiko. Maybe you
know her by that name. She’s the governor’s secretary. She was showing the
ambassador around. Tour guide.’
Ramon thought of the woman at the
El Rey, the European’s date. The laughing woman. She’d straightened her
hair to look Asian. Maybe she would give herself a stupid name too.
‘Don’t think so, man,’ Ramon
said.
‘How about Johnny Joe Cardenas?’
‘Shit, man. Everyone knows Johnny
Joe.’
‘He’s a friend of yours?’
‘He’s not anybody’s friend. I
respect him. Like you respect a redjacket, you know?’
‘He doesn’t have a very good
reputation, does he? I thought it was strange, then, when I heard that he’d
gotten in a fight defending Justina Montoya. He’s not the sort of man to do
something…chivalrous like that.’
The stink of danger made Ramon’s
skin crawl.
‘Defend her from what?’ Ramon
asked. ‘Someone try to rape her?’
‘Maybe,’ the cop said. ‘Maybe he
would have defended her from that, even Johnny Joe. There were a lot of people
there who said that the guy she was with was pushing it with her pretty hard. A
big shot. Made some remarks. Twisted her arm when she tried to leave or
something. And then Johnny Joe got into it. Maybe saved her.’
The silence hung between them,
pressing. Ramon’s neck throbbed where the sahael had bound him. The
monitors chirped and hummed. He knows, Ramon thought. They grabbed Johnny Joe
so they can show the Enye that they’re on top of it, and this pendejo fucking
well knows it’s a frame. He’s waiting for me to fuck up so they can grab
me for it instead.
‘Weird, all right.’
‘Why do you think he’d do
something like that?’ the constable asked. ‘Put himself in harm’s way to
protect a woman he didn’t even know?’
Come on. Tell me what a hero he
was. Tell me how be defended the weak. Tell yourself what a good man you are,
and maybe in the end, you can even let slip that the big man was really you and
not Johnny Joe. Ramon
grinned. There was a time he might even have fallen for it.
‘Man, you can’t figure someone
like Johnny Joe! You might as well not try, you know? He’s like a whole
different species.’
The constable shifted his weight,
annoyance flashing in his eyes.
‘Sorry I couldn’t help you out,’
Ramon said. ‘I sure wish I knew old Johnny Joe better. You know, so I could
help. But we just didn’t hang out together much. Maybe the guy just pissed him
off, you know? Which was never hard to do. Maybe Johnny Joe just did a good
thing for once in his life. Even a badass like him might not like to see some
little girl getting slapped around, eh? Especially if maybe he had his eye on
her himself.’ He exchanged level glances with the cop, who was looking sour. ‘There
anything else? ‘Cause I’m getting kinda tired.’
‘Maybe later,’ the constable
said. ‘You were lucky, getting back to Fiddler’s Jump. All that happened out
there - the van getting destroyed, hurting yourself with the knife like that.
It’s really unbelievable.’
Meaning that you don’t believe
me, Ramon thought. Well, prove something, and then come see me. Asshole.
‘I’m blessed,’ Ramon said,
nodding like a pious idiot, drunk on incense and communion wine. ‘Truly
blessed. God ain’t done with me yet, you know?’
‘No, He’s not. You take care,
Señor Espejo. I’ll be in touch if there’s anything more I need to ask you.’
‘Anything I can do to help,’
Ramon said, almost sorry that the constable was rising from the bed. Ramon
liked the feel of winning. There were a few more insincere pleasantries
exchanged, and then the constable was gone. Ramon lay back against his pillow
and thought his way through it all.
They knew that Johnny Joe, for
all his failings as a good citizen and an upright human being, hadn’t killed
the European. He was just the convenient bastard to hang, the scapegoat - and
if he was the wrong man, well, shit, at least he deserved it for some other time
when he’d killed and gotten away with it. The constable knew it was shit. Hell,
the whole colony probably knew it was shit. But what were they gonna do? Tell
the Enye that they’d screwed up? That they couldn’t even catch the right man?
That they’d lied? That would be suicide. The investigation was closed.
If Ramon didn’t open it again for them, and he wasn’t about to do that, it
would stay closed.
Not that the eaters-of-the-young
would care, one way or the other. What humans did among themselves didn’t
matter, because humanity wasn’t a species that the Enye cared about, except
where they were useful. Impressing them with the colony’s sense of law and
justice and righteousness was like a pack of dogs trying to impress their
catcher by howling in harmony. But the governor didn’t know that, and so,
perversely, the way that they all failed to understand the aliens around them
was going to save Ramon’s ass. He might be the next one strung up when a
convenient perpetrator was needed to take the fall for something, but this time,
for this murder, the government of the colony was going to give him a
pass. What else could they do?
A weight lifted from him, and he
laughed with the relief. His initial plan had worked. He’d been in the
wilderness long enough that the problem had solved itself. He was safe now. He
could feel it.
It was almost two weeks before
Ramon found out what he’d overlooked.
* * * *
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Ramon walked out of the hospital eight days later, unsteady on
atrophied legs. He wore one of his white shirts and a pair of canvas trousers
that Elena had brought by one afternoon when he was asleep. The shirt was too
big; wide across the shoulders and through the chest, a measure of how badly he
had been reduced by his time in the wild and on the river. His new scars still
ached sometimes if he turned wrong. The Enye ships still hovered high above the
planet, but here among the street vendors and the gypsy boats, the rheumy-eyed
buskers with almost-tuned guitars and the truant children smoking cigarettes
on the corners, the alien ships seemed less of a threat.
He’d intended at first to make
his way to Manuel Griego’s shop. Ramon was going to need a new van. He didn’t
have the money to buy one outright, and there wasn’t a bank on the colony or
off that would front him a loan big enough to cover the expense. That left
making deals, and Manuel was the one to start with. But his shop was out far
from the center of the city, at the edge of neighboring Nuevo Janeiro, where
most of the Portuguese lived, and Ramon found himself growing tired more
quickly than he’d expected. He had no money and only a temporary emergency
identification chit from the hospital. More trivia that he’d have to address in
the days ahead. At the moment, it meant that when he sat on the bench at the
edge of the park, he could smell the sausages, onions, and peppers cooking on
the cart’s grill but couldn’t buy any.
In a sense, this was the first
time he’d seen his adopted home town. This particular pair of eyes had never
looked down these narrow brown streets or at the faded yellow grass of the
park. These particular ears hadn’t heard the demanding blatting of the urban
flatfurs, or the tapanos scolding from the tree branches on the edge of
the canal like amphibious squirrels. Ramon tried to concentrate on how he felt
about that, examining his own soul for unease or some sense of dislocation
greater than usual. But what he really felt was tired, impatient, and pissed
off that he was too weak to walk to where he wanted to, and too broke to take a
fucking pedicab or bus.
The obvious place to go was Elena’s.
He didn’t have any place else to sleep, and she’d brought him clothes, so the
fight they’d been having when he left was probably forgotten. And she’d have
food and maybe sex if he was up for it.
He was half tempted to go to the El
Rey first, thank Mikel Ibrahim for keeping that knife away from the police.
But then he remembered again that he had no money, and trying to hustle a free
beer seemed like a piss-poor way to express gratitude. Ramon took a long, deep
breath - nostrils filling with the ozone stench of city air - and heaved
himself back up from his bench. Elena’s place it was. And with that, Elena.
It wasn’t a long walk, but it
felt that way. When he reached the butcher’s shop that squatted below her
apartment, Ramon felt like he’d tracked a full day through the underbrush,
Maneck at his side. He wondered, as he made his way up the dingy, dank-smelling
stairs, what Maneck would think of this wide, flat human hive that lay open to
the sky. He thought the alien would think it naive, like kyi-kyi grazing in a
meadow where a chupacabra was sunning itself. The Enye ships stuttered
in and out of existence high above, vanishing only for a moment before
returning.
At the top of the stairs, Ramon
punched in the code, hoping that Elena hadn’t changed it in a fit of pique when
he’d slipped out on her. Or if she had, that she’d changed it back. And when
the last number shifted the status light to green, the bolt clicking audibly
and the hinges hissing as the door swung open, Ramon knew he’d been forgiven.
Elena wasn’t home, but the
cabinets were stocked with food. Ramon opened a can of black bean soup - one of
the self-heating kind - and ate it with a beer. It tasted of the heating
element, but not so much that he didn’t enjoy the meal. The couch smelled of
old smoke and cheap incense. The afternoon light showed all the dirt on the windows;
skitterlings scurried across the ceiling, the charnel stink of the butcher’s
shop tainted the air. Ramon lay back on the couch, his limbs heavy. He let his
eyes close for a moment and opened them again in panic. Something had him,
strangling him, pulling him off the ground. Ramon had cocked back a fist, ready
to kill the alien or his twin or the sahael or the chupacabra or
the cop before his muzzy brain recognized the shrill squealing. Not an alarm.
Not a battle shriek. Elena, delighted.
‘Fuck,’ he breathed, but softly
enough that even with her head pressed against his she didn’t seem to hear him.
The threat of violence passed. Elena pulled back from him, her eyes wide, her
mouth in a little knot like she was trying to make her lips look like a baby
doll’s. She wasn’t bad looking.
‘You didn’t tell me you were
getting out,’ she said, half accusing, half pleased and surprised.
‘They didn’t tell me for sure
until today,’ Ramon lied. ‘Besides, what were you gonna do? Miss work?’
‘I would have. Or I could have
got someone to come get you. Fly you home.’
‘I can walk,’ Ramon said with a
shrug. ‘It’s not far.’
She put her hand around his chin,
jiggling his head like he was a baby. Her eyes were merry. It was an expression
he knew, and his poor abused penis stirred slightly.
‘Big macho guy like you doesn’t
need any help, eh? I know you, Ramon Espejo. I know you better than you do! You’re
not so tough.’
I cut off my own finger stump, he
didn’t say, in part because it hadn’t exactly been him and in part
because there wasn’t any point in telling her anything. It was Elena, after
all. Batshit crazy, even if she was in her good place right now. He couldn’t
trust her, not any more than she could trust him. Whatever meaning she put on
his silence, it wasn’t what he was thinking. She smiled, shifting her body from
side to side.
‘I missed you,’ she said, looking
up at him through her eyelashes. Ramon felt a twinge of pain in his groin and
stepped back.
‘Jesus Christ,’ he said. ‘They
only took that thing out of my cock a few days ago, woman. I’m not healed up
down there yet.’
‘Yeah?’ she said. ‘That hurts?
What about this?’
She did something very pleasant,
and it did hurt, only not enough to tell her to stop.
The next few days were better
than Ramon had expected them to be. Elena was away at work most of the day,
leaving him to sleep and catch the news. At night, they screwed and listened to
music and watched the half-assed telenovelas they made down in Nuevo Janeiro.
He made himself walk as long as he could, never straying too far from the
apartment, in case the weakness came on quickly.
His strength came back faster
than he expected. His weight was still down; he looked like a fucking twig. But
he was coming back. He was getting better. He told Elena the story - the one he’d
made up - over and over. It wasn’t long before he half believed it himself. He
remembered the roar of the stone as it came down, the shuddering of the van. He
remembered racing out into the cool northern night and watching his ride washed
into the river. If it hadn’t happened, so what? The past was what you made it.
The only thing that marred the
time was the small voice in his head reminding him of what had really happened,
and what he had heard and thought. In the early hours of the morning, when
Elena was still fast asleep, Ramon found himself waking and unable to fall back
into slumber. His mind returned to the realization that his twin could have
done better with Elena, that even that sad sack of shit he’d dropped into the
river had been a better man than he made himself out to be. He had meant to
break things off with her when he came back, but here he was. Drinking her
beer, smoking her cigarettes, spreading her legs.
When things got bad again, he
told himself.
And, like a ghost, there was
Lianna. He remembered the way his twin had told the story - all bravado and
bluster, none of the real pain. The loss. He was coming to understand better
now why his twin had told the story that way. It hadn’t only been to avoid the
appearance of weakness before another man. He needed to tell it to himself that
way too. And that was harder for Ramon to do now that he had seen all that he’d
seen. He kept meaning to go see Griego, but he never quite got around to it.
Almost a week after Ramon had
left the hospital, he woke before dawn, haunted by dreams he couldn’t remember.
He slipped out of bed, pulled on a robe, and, as quietly as he could, took
Elena’s good whiskey from its hiding place behind the kitchen cabinet. It took
him three drinks and almost an hour to get the courage to open a link to the
city directory and search for her. But there she was. Lianna Delgado. Still a
cook, but at a new place now. Her address was down by the river. He’d probably
walked past it a hundred times, stumbling back from the bars. He wondered if
she’d ever seen him, and if she had, what she’d thought. Elena mumbled
something and shifted in her sleep. Ramon killed the link, but the idea that
had taken root out there in the wilderness was growing again in the city.
He had wanted to be someone new,
had been ready to be someone new. Start again. So why not now? All the things
he had done and suffered could pass away from him just as easily now with his
old name and face and self as they might have had his twin lived. It only meant
doing the things that needed to be done: leave Elena, find a new place for
himself, a new van to work with, some other way of being himself. Himself like
he’d always been, only better. And then, when he was cleaned up and solid, when
he had something in the bank and didn’t have to beg off a woman just to keep
from sleeping in the pinche park, Lianna was in the directory. He could
call her or, if he had the balls, go to her house like a schoolboy singing at
his lover’s window. He was Ramon Espejo, after all. He was a tough sonofabitch.
The worst that would happen was that Lianna would turn him away, and if it
broke his heart, so what? He was strong enough to make a new one. A better one.
In the next room, Elena yawned
and stretched. Ramon took one last clandestine pull at the whiskey bottle and
silently returned it to its place, rinsing the glass out before slipping into
the bathroom to brush the scent from his breath. If Elena found out he’d been breaking
into the good stuff without her, there’d be hell to pay.
‘Hey, baby,’ he said as she
shambled into the kitchen. Her hair was in disarray and her jaw set a little
forward.
‘You couldn’t make some fucking
coffee?’ she replied. ‘I feel like shit.’
‘You should stay home,’ he said. ‘Take
a day off.’
‘It’s Sunday, asshole.’
‘Sit,’ Ramon said, gesturing to
the cheap plastic and chitin chair at her kitchen table. ‘I’ll make you some
food, eh?’
She managed a smile at that, her
black mood thinning a little. Ramon surveyed the contents of her pantry
carefully, consulting the freshness readouts on the sides of the cans and boxes
and having a little trouble with them. He might have had a little too much of
the whiskey. He just needed to seem sober long enough for a little of the
alcohol to burn off.
He got a can of black beans, a
couple of tortillas, the eggs from the back of the refrigerator, and a hunk of
cheese. A little green chile, and it would be huevos rancheros. It was a good
meal because with a little practice it could be made in a single pan. Ramon
had enough practice cooking it in his van that he could probably do it even a
little drunk.
‘So you gonna get a job in town
now?’ Elena asked.
‘No,’ Ramon said. The beans
dropped from their can to one side of the heating skillet, hissing and popping
as the juice started to boil. He reached for the eggs. ‘I figure I’ll go talk
to Griego about renting a van. I figure if I promise him a part of the cut, it’ll
only take me three or four good runs to pay the thing off.’
‘Three or four good runs,’ Elena
said, as if he’d said shit gold and piss rosewater. ‘When was the last
time you had three or four good runs in a row? Did you ever?’
‘I got some ideas,’ Ramon said,
realizing as he did so that it was true. There was the struggling precursor of
a plan at the back of his head. Maybe it had been there since the first time he’d
had the dream of the Enye and understood what Maneck and his people were
fleeing. He smiled to himself.
He knew what he was going to do.
‘You should get a real job,’
Elena said. ‘Something steady.’
‘I don’t need that. I’m a good
prospector.’
Elena raised her hand like a
schoolgirl asking to speak. ‘Last time you went out, you came back
three-quarters dead without any of your shit.’
‘It was bad luck. It won’t happen
again.’
‘Oh. You control luck now, eh?’
‘It’s the European,’ Ramon said,
flipping the eggs. ‘He was after my ass. It was like a curse. It’s gonna be
fine next time.’
‘Sounds like you found God out
there,’ Elena said, and then paused. When she spoke again, her voice was less
surly. ‘Did you find God, mi bijo?’
‘No,’ Ramon said. He crumbled a
handful of cheese over the beans, then slid the tortillas onto plates. Coffee.
He needed to heat up some water. He knew he’d forgotten something. ‘I figured
some other stuff out though.’
‘Like what?’ Elena asked.
Ramon was silent as he served up
the eggs, spooned the beans and cheese over the top, got the coffee brewing. He
could feel her gaze on him, neither accusing nor sympathetic. He wondered what
was going on behind her eyes; what the world meant to her. She was more
predictable, more familiar, but in some ways she’d always been as alien to him
as Maneck. He didn’t trust her because he wasn’t stupid, and yet there was something,
some other impulse, that prompted him to speak.
‘Like why I killed the European
in the first place,’ he said.
He explained to her as best he
could, his memory still a thing of shadows and dream, something he remembered
knowing more than something he had participated in first hand. A
reconstruction.
They’d been drunk, yes. Things
got out of hand, yes. But it had happened for a reason. Ramon walked through it
all again as best he could. He could explain what the cop had said; the woman,
the laughter. He could guess from what his twin had and hadn’t said, what he
knew about himself, about the sense of the whole bar turning against the
European, and Ramon himself on the top of the swell.
He could tell with certainty what
it had been like when, in the alleyway, they had all pulled back, all the
people who’d been shouting him on. The sense of loss and betrayal. He’d been
what they wanted him to be, and then they’d dropped him for it.
The European, the girl, the
laughter. It hadn’t really been about them at all. Ramon hadn’t killed the man
because the fucker needed to die or because the woman was one of their own and
the man an outsider, or to protect her from getting mauled. Ramon had done it
so that the other people in the bar would think well of him. He’d killed out of
a need to be part of something.
Ramon shook his head, smiling.
Elena hadn’t touched her food. The coffee was warm, the beans cold as the
table. Her eyes were locked on his, her expression unreadable. Ramon shrugged,
waiting for her to speak.
‘You were fighting over a fucking
woman?’ Elena breathed.
‘No,’ Ramon said. ‘It wasn’t like
that. There was this lady he was with but -’
‘And you didn’t like how he was
treating her, so you picked a fight. You drunk, selfish sonofabitch! And what
the fuck was wrong with the woman you had waiting for you here? You had
to go risk getting your ass killed for some puta because of what?’
Ramon felt the rage swelling up
in his breast. He’d told her, he’d bared his soul to Elena, and all she could
do was turn it into some kind of bullshit jealous fight. He’d been really
talking to her, talking like real lovers are supposed to, and this was what he
got for it. Another fucking bunch of accusations. Another load of shit. His
face flushed, his fists clenched.
But then it faded, the bottom
dropping out of the rage. Elena threw her plate at him, the food splattering
against the wall, immediately gathering a swarm of skitterlings. Ramon watched
it like it was all happening someplace else, to someone else. He’d known, hadn’t
he? He’d known she wouldn’t be able to hear him. That even if he explained
himself the best way he could, she wouldn’t understand. If lions could speak,
Ibrahim said in his memory.
‘It’s not happening,’ Ramon said,
his voice gentle and matter of fact. His calm seemed to startle Elena out of
her rage. He saw her trying to get it back, and rose to his feet. ‘You’re not a
bad person, Elena. You’re a little crazy, but I don’t see how anyone lives in
this fucking city all the time without getting a little crazy. But this…’
He gestured at the food dripping
down the wall, Elena’s small hands curled tightly into fists, the apartment.
He gestured at their life together.
‘This isn’t going to happen
anymore,’ he said.
Elena tried. She baited him, she
screamed. She shouted obscenities at him and taunted him about his sexual
inadequacies, all the things she had done before, the familiar, habitual
sickness. When it was clear that he was going to leave, she wept and then grew
quiet as if she were thinking through a puzzle. She barely raised her head as
he closed the door behind him. An hour later, Ramon was walking down the
riverside, listening to the music coming off the boats. He had a satchel packed
with two changes of clothes, a toothbrush, a few documents that he’d left at
her apartment. Everything he owned. The sun shone on the water, and the air
was cool with the first bite of autumn. It was like being born again. He had
nothing - and yet he couldn’t stop smiling. And somewhere nearby, in one of the
small apartments with their weedy courtyards and leaking roofs, Lianna was
making her life. She wouldn’t be that hard to find. And he was a free man.
First, though, there was Manuel
Griego and the problem of the van. There was a future to create. And now, he
had a plan to do it.
‘Ramon Espejo?’
Ramon stopped, looking back over
his shoulder. The man looked familiar, but it took the two uniformed brutes
coming from the van behind him to give the face and voice context. The man from
the constabulary. The cop. Ramon considered running. It was only a few yards to
the river; he could dive in before they caught him. But then they could also
get boats out and haul him up like the world’s ugliest fish. Ramon raised his
chin in greeting.
‘You’re that cop,’ Ramon said.
His mind was racing. Elena. It had to be Elena. She’d called the cops and
passed on all he’d told her about the European. Johnny Joe Cardenas had just gotten
his prayers answered.
‘Ramon Espejo, I have a warrant
from the governor for your detainment for questioning. You can come with us of
your own free will, or I can put you in restraints. Any way you want.’
There was a glitter in the cop’s
eye, a lilt in his voice. He was having a very good day.
‘I didn’t do anything,’ Ramon
said.
‘You aren’t accused, Señor
Espejo. We just need to talk to you about something.’
The station house was one of the
oldest in Diegotown, grown when the first colonists had arrived, and not
updated since. Where the chitin superstructure showed, it had become gray with
time. The plaster and paint had been freshened for the Enye, but the building
still seemed old and sad and brooding, ominous.
The interrogation room wasn’t entirely
unfamiliar territory for Ramon. Dirty white tiles lined the walls, marred by
unidentifiable stains and threatening dents and cracks. A long table set just a
little too high, a metal chair bolted to the floor and set just a little too
low, so you felt like a kid. The light was too bright, and blued to make anyone
look dead. The air was stale and close and still as the grave; Ramon felt like
he’d been breathing the same four lungfuls since he’d entered. There was no
clock, no window. Nothing to tell him how far the hours had stretched. His only
company had been the uniformed guard who’d told him he couldn’t smoke, and the
old flat-black surveillance camera set into the wall at the corner of the
ceiling. The design was intended to make a man feel small, insignificant, and
doomed. It worked pretty well, and Ramon found his resentment of it fueling his
anger.
Anger at Elena and the
constabulary, the European and the alien hive and his dead twin. It wasn’t
rational, it wasn’t even coherent, but it was what he had to carry him through
this, and so he cultivated it. He didn’t have money for a lawyer. There would
be no one to defend him besides himself. And what defense could he give? That
he was so drunk he didn’t remember doing it? Elena would be more than happy to
flirt with the judge, say what she knew, and sink that story forever. That it
was in his own defense? The defense of the straight-haired woman? He couldn’t
even remember what had happened, not in any real detail. He’d be better off
claiming he hadn’t been at the El Rey when it happened, no matter what
all the witnesses said or the fingerprints on the gravity knife.
No, as far as he could tell, he
was well and rightly fucked. By the time the door opened and the sound of
voices at last cut the thick air, Ramon had just about decided that he might as
well assault whatever poor pendejo they sent in to talk to him. At least
he could do some damage going down. And he might have done it if a human had
come into the room.
The Enye was like a boulder; its
green-black skin the texture of lichen, dark eyes set in pale, fleshy, wet
gouges. A tiny pucker of a mouth - lipless and round - marked where its beak
lay concealed. The stink of acid and soil filled the room as the thing lumbered
into the corner below the surveillance camera and hunkered down, its eyes on
Ramon. The constable who’d visited him in the hospital and collared him on the
street came in behind it. The man was less pleased with himself now, his mouth
set in a professional scowl, his shirt freshly starched and ironed and looking
uncomfortable. He carried a black cloth case in one hand and a cigarette in
the other. A second man followed him; older and better dressed. The poor fucker’s
boss. Ramon looked up into the black mechanical eye of the camera and wondered
who else was watching him.
‘Ramon Espejo?’ the constable
said.
‘Better be,’ Ramon said, then
gestured at the alien with his chin. ‘The fuck is this?’
‘We’re going to ask you some
questions,’ the constable said. ‘You are under warrant from the governor to
answer completely and honestly. If you fail to do so, you will be charged and
punished. Do you understand what I’ve just said?’
‘I been arrested before, ese. I
know how this works.’
‘Good,’ the constable said. ‘Then
we can get straight to business.’
He lifted the cloth case to the
table, unzipped it, and pulled something out. With a flourish that the cabron
must have practiced for an hour, he unrolled something.
Dirty rags, colorless where they
weren’t bloodstained, cut almost to ribbons in places. They might have once
been leather or a thick cloth. It was his robe. The one he’d worn tracking
through the northern wilderness, the one he’d wrapped around his arm in the
final knife fight with his twin. The one Maneck’s aliens had given him. He
looked up into the Enye’s glistening eyes and saw nothing he could understand.
The alien hissed and whistled to itself.
‘Señor Espejo,’ the constable
said. ‘Would you please tell us exactly where you got this?’
* * * *
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
They began God only knew how far away, how many hundreds or
thousands - or with time dilation, shit, maybe millions - of years ago. They
came up from some alien sludge under some forgotten star; struggling and
fighting and evolving just like humanity rose from small, unlikely mammals
dodging the dinosaurs. And then the Silver Enye came, killed their children,
and scattered them to the stars. Centuries in the darkness, fleeing blind. One
group carried this way, another that. So many lost. And then here, to São
Paulo, far to the north where they pulled the mountains up over them like a
child with a blanket. Don’t let the monsters see me.
So long, and so far, and then to
have everything rest on some selfish fuck more than half in trouble with the
law. Ramon almost felt sorry for them.
I will kill you all, Ramon had
thought, back on that first day, the sahael newly dug into his flesh.
Somehow, I will cut this thing out of my throat, and then I will come back and
kill you all.
And now here was his chance. He
scratched his arm even though it didn’t itch.
‘Can I have a cigarette?’ he
asked.
‘Why don’t you answer my question
first,’ the constable said, his jaw tense.
He wasn’t going to gain anything
by lying. Maneck and the aliens had used him. Had created him as a tool, for
their own selfish purposes. Turning them over to the Enye would settle his
score with them and make him a hero in the governor’s eyes, all at the same
time. He had every reason to tell them everything. Just the way he’d had every
reason to keep to himself in the El Rey. But on the other side of the
balance were the kii, the young. Killed for no reason that Ramon or
Maneck could fathom.
That and the fact he didn’t like
the idea of dancing to some pinche alien’s tune, no matter if it was
Maneck or the Enye.
‘Maybe you could tell me,’ Ramon
said, ‘what the fuck business it is of yours?’
The constable’s boss glanced at
the Enye and then the surveillance camera and back. Just a flicker, like a
poker player’s tell.
‘We’d like to know,’ the
constable said.
‘The governor wants to know about
my fucking bathrobe?’ Ramon said. ‘He gonna have you sniff my panties too? Fuck
off.’
The Enye spoke. Its voice was
high and piping and awkward; a being speaking a language not merely foreign to
it but nearly unthinkable.
‘Why do you refuse?’
Ramon gestured to the constable
with his chin.
‘I don’t like this motherfucker,’
Ramon said.
The Enye considered this, its
long tongue flickering out to cover its body in saliva. The constable flushed
nearly purple with rage, but said nothing. The alien was running the show now,
the power shifting visibly. Ramon tried to keep his body relaxed while his
thoughts darted and spun. Part of his mind was bright with panic, another part
defiant and amused. It was like being in a fight.
He enjoyed it.
‘You,’ the Enye said. ‘The one
called Paul.’
The constable took on an attitude
of respect just short of clicking his heels. Ramon shook his head in disgust.
‘You are removed. Leave. Do not
return.’
The constable blinked, his mouth
gaping for a moment, then audibly closing. He looked at his supervisor, who
shrugged and nodded to the door. The constable - Paul - walked out of the
interrogation room, stiff as a man with a broom up his ass. Ramon lifted a
finger to the remaining human.
‘Hey, ese,’ he said. ‘I
get that cigarette now?’
The supervisor was an older man,
and his anger had room for amusement at the corners of his eyes. He took a
cheap self-lighting cigarette from his pocket, struck it on the floor and
rolled it, burning, across the table to Ramon. It smelled like old cardboard
and tasted like somebody’s ass. Ramon sucked the smoke in deep and let it float
out as he spoke.
‘It’s my bathrobe,’ Ramon said,
pointing with his left hand. ‘Had it for years. There was this accident with my
van. I was sleeping. That’s all I got out in. Fucking pain not having shoes,
too. I still got blisters.’
‘Where did it come from?’ the
Enye fluted.
By now, Ramon had come up with
his lie. For short notice, he was proud of it.
‘From you,’ he said.
In the ensuing silence, the
supervisor leaned forward a centimeter. His voice was equal parts warm
avuncular joking and cold steel threat.
‘Don’t push it, bijo.’’
The Enye shifted back and forth,
its eyes rolling slowly. Its tongue, thankfully, had returned to within its
hidden beak. Ramon knew from his time, years before, that when an Enye stopped
licking itself, it was pissed off.
‘I got it on the trip over,’
Ramon said. ‘From Earth. On an Enye ship. There were a couple of you people
wanted to learn how to play poker. We had a game going, so we let them in on
it. They sucked. One time I was drunk, I let this one big pendejo put
this fucking bathrobe in instead of whiskey. He said it was a battle souvenir
or some such shit. I didn’t catch it all. Anyway, he loses fours and sevens to
my three queens, and I got me a bathrobe. It was bigger then. I had to make him
cut it down to fit me, but it held up pretty good until now.’ He paused to take
another drag. ‘So you want to tell me what’s so important about it?’
A stench like rotting eggs and
boiling turnips filled the room, intense enough to make his eyes water. ‘This
one will be isolated,’ the Enye said. Its eyes were still on Ramon, but it was
clear enough that it was speaking to the supervisor. ‘There will be no
communication.’
‘We’ll see to that, sir,’ the
supervisor said. The Enye turned, and Ramon could see the supervisor brace
himself as the alien’s tongue emerged and licked the man in farewell. He took
it pretty well, Ramon thought. Some trace of Ramon’s amusement must have shown
through, though. When the Enye lumbered out of the room, the supervisor raised
an eyebrow and smiled mirthlessly. Ramon shrugged and finished his cigarette.
He had the feeling it would be his last for some time.
Two uniformed cops came in to
escort him to his new quarters. The cells under the station house were also not
entirely new to Ramon, but this was the first time he’d walked down the gray
concrete hallways sober. He caught sight of the supervisor still wiping his
neck with a kerchief and talking to a tall, intense man who it took Ramon a
moment to recognize as the governor. A third person glanced up as Ramon stepped
out of sight - a woman with dark, straight hair. Ramon was sorry, as he
descended the stairs, that he hadn’t gotten a chance to wave at her. He hadn’t
seen her since the night at the El Rey.
Down in the cells, the constable
was waiting. Ramon could feel the anger coming off the man like heat. His gut
went tight, his mouth dry. Ramon’s guards stopped him and the constable stalked
forward like a hunting cat.
‘I know you’re lying,’ the
constable said. ‘You think you can fool them with some bullshit story about
your van going missing? I can smell the shit coming off of you.’
‘So what the fuck do you think I’m
hiding?’ Ramon said. ‘You think it’s all part of some big pinche plan? I
go out, lose everything I own, almost die, and it’s all about a bathrobe? What
have you been huffing, ese?’
The constable stepped closer,
gaze locked on Ramon. His breath felt unpleasantly warm on Ramon’s face. It
smelled of peppers and tequila. He was five or six centimeters taller than
Ramon, and drew himself up to make the fact clear. Ramon had to fight the
instinct to step back, away from the big man’s anger.
‘I don’t know what you’re hiding,’
the cop said. ‘I don’t know why those fucking rock-lickers care. But I do know
Johnny Joe Cardenas wasn’t the one who killed that ambassador. So how about you
tell me what’s really going on here?’
‘Don’t have a clue, man. So how
about you get out of my way?’
Something half sneer, half smile
twisted the constable’s mouth, but he stepped aside. Nodding to one of the
guards, he said, ‘Put him in twelve.’
The guard nodded as he pushed
Ramon forward. It was like going into a heavy weather shelter; reinforced
concrete and unpainted composite doors and hinges. Ramon let himself be steered
to an intersection of corridors, and then down a short hallway. The air was
thick and stale. In one of the cells, some poor bastard was crying loud enough
for the sound to carry. Ramon tried to shrug it all off, but tension in his gut
was cinching tighter and tighter. How long would they hold him here? Who would
come to his defense?
He didn’t have anyone.
The door to cell twelve swung
open silently and Ramon stepped in. It was a small room, but not tiny. Four
bunks stood on either side wall, an open hole in the middle of the room serving
for the toilet. The light was white LED recessed behind security glass in the
ceiling. Someone had scored words into the glass, but it was too bright for
Ramon to read it. The door closed, the magnetic bolt closing with a deep clank.
A man in one of the lower bunks rolled over to look at him; he was huge. Broad
across the shoulders, his scalp covered by cheap tattoos and a thin stubble of
black hair going gray at the temples. His eyes were like a dog’s. Ramon’s balls
tried to crawl up into his belly.
‘Hey, Johnny Joe,’ Ramon said.
They took him out before Johnny
Joe could quite manage to kill him, half carrying him to another cell. Ramon
lay on the concrete floor, feeling himself breathe. His mouth tasted like
blood. His ribs ached, and his left eye wouldn’t open. He thought a couple of
his teeth were loose. The LED in this cell was off, so it was a lot like being
in a grave. Or the aliens’ tank. He chuckled at the idea, and then at the
arcing pain that came from chuckling. There was another thing that laughter
could be. Despair. Pain.
To have come so far, to have
endured so much, just to wind up rotting in a cell under the station house of
the governor’s constabulary. And for who? The aliens who’d humiliated and used
him? He didn’t owe them shit. Maneck and all the motherfuckers like him. Ramon
owed them nothing. He didn’t remember now why he thought he did. The kii, slaughtered
by the Enye: they weren’t human babies. They didn’t matter. If he just told them,
he could go. He could find Lianna. Maybe send old Martin Casaus a message
saying how sorry he was, and that he understood why Martin had tried to kill
him. He could sit beside the river and listen to the water slap the stones of
the quay. He could get a van again, and go out where there were no people or
aliens or jails. All he had to do was tell them.
He levered himself up to his
elbows.
‘I’ll tell,’ he croaked. ‘Come
on, you pendejos. You want to know what’s out there, I’ll fucking tell
you. I’ll fucking tell. Just let me go!’
No one heard him. The door didn’t
open.
‘Just let me go.’
He fell into an exhausted sleep
there on the floor and dreamed that his twin was in the cell with him, smoking
a cigarette and bragging about sexual conquests Ramon didn’t remember. He tried
to yell to the other man that they were in danger; that he had to get away,
before recalling that the man was dead. His twin, who had also become Maneck
and Palenki, had launched into a lascivious description of fucking the
European’s companion when Ramon managed to break in, protesting in thought more
than words that it had never happened.
‘How do you know?’ his twin
asked. ‘You weren’t there. Who the fuck are you?’
‘I’m Ramon Espejo,’ Ramon
shouted, waking himself with the words.
In the darkness, the prison floor
harder than mere stone under his back, Ramon shook his head until the last
tendrils of nightmare were gone. He forced himself to sit up and take stock of
his injuries. They were, he decided, more painful than dangerous. Disgust
washed over him - for his weakness, for his willingness to help the police even
after they’d done this to him. Maneck and the aliens had collared him like a
dog, but they hadn’t locked him in with a psychopath just for fun. It took a human
to do that.
‘I’ll kill you fuckers,’ he said
to an imagined constable, his supervisor, the governor. ‘Somehow, I will get
free of this, and will kill each one of you sorry pendejos!’
Even he wasn’t convinced. When
the door swung open, he realized he’d fallen asleep again. The supervisor
walked in, light from the hall making a halo around him. As Ramon’s eyes
adjusted to the brightness, he saw resignation and amusement on the man’s face.
‘You don’t look so good, Señor
Espejo.’
‘Yeah. Well, you go ten rounds
with Johnny Joe Cardenas, see how you do.’
The LED in the ceiling flickered
on as the door closed, leaving the two of them alone.
‘I’d do fine,’ the supervisor
said. ‘Hung him this morning. You want a cigarette?’
‘Nah,’ Ramon said. ‘I’m quitting.’
Then, a moment later, held out his hand. The supervisor squatted beside Ramon,
struck a cigarette against the floor and handed it over.
‘Got some food coming too,’ the
man said. ‘And I’m sorry about Paul. He doesn’t do so good when someone
embarrasses him. The Enye taking your side with the governor watching? Well, he
overreacted.’
‘That’s what you call this, eh?’
The supervisor shrugged like a
man who’d spent too many years looking at the world.
‘Got to call it something,’ he
said. ‘They’re gonna take your story apart. I’m just saying, Ramon. It’s going
to happen.’
‘Why would I lie about my van
getting -’
‘No one gives a shit about your
van. The Enye have been going crazy about this robe. It’s some kind of alien
artifact.’
‘That’s what I fucking said it
was!’
The supervisor let that pass.
‘If there’s something you’re
hiding, we’re going to find out. The governor’s not going to watch out for you.
He knows you killed the European ambassador, even if he doesn’t want to admit
it. The cops…well, we can’t back you if the governor doesn’t. The Enye are hot
about this thing, whatever the fuck it is. They’ll want us to turn you over to
them.’
Ramon sucked the smoke deep into
his lungs. When he exhaled, he could see where a little draft from the hallway
caught the air and spun it. The smoke made the flow visible.
‘You’re negotiating for them?’
‘I’m saying it’s gonna be better
if you tell them what they want to know. They’re the ones who’ve got all the
power.’
Ramon rested his head on his
knees. A memory assaulted him, the first flashback of its kind in many days,
the last, it turned out, he would ever have. It began with laughter. A woman’s
laughter, fighting its way past the clink and clatter of the pachinko machine.
Ramon was in the El Rey. The memory was clear now. The reek of the
smoke, the smooth blackness of the bar. He remembered the glass in his hand,
the way it clinked when he plunked it with his fingernail. The way the back
mirror looked gray from the low lights and the accumulated film of old
cigarettes. Music played, but softly. No one had paid to have the speakers
turned up loud enough to dance to. ‘It’s about power,’ the European said. His
voice was too loud. He was drunk, but not as drunk as he pretended. His accent
was broad and nasal. ‘You know what I mean? Not like violence. Not physical violence.’
The woman beside him glanced
around the bar. There were maybe twenty people in the place, and they could all
hear the conversation she and her European escort were having. She caught Ramon’s
eyes reflected in the mirror for a fraction of a second, then looked away and
laughed. She neither agreed with the European nor disagreed. He went on as if
she had spoken; that her opinion didn’t matter proved his point.
‘I mean, take you,’ he said,
his hand on her arm as if he were pointing it out to her. ‘You came out with me
because you had to. No, no. Don’t disagree, it’s okay. I’m a man of the world,
right. I understand. I’m the traveling big shot, and your boss wants to make
sure I’m happy. That gives me power, you see? You came out to this bar with me,
didn’t you?’
The woman said something, her
voice too low to hear, her mouth in a tight smile. It didn’t work.
‘No, seriously,’ the man said. ‘What
would you do if I told you to come back to my room with me right now and fuck
me? I mean, are you really in a position to say no? You could, right? You could
say you didn’t want to. But then I’d have you fired. Just like that.’ He
snapped his fingers and grinned coldly.
Ramon sipped his drink. The
whiskey seemed watery. But he’d been listening to the European talk for a while
now, and the ice in the glass had melted down to ovals like little fingernails.
‘Or not even my room,’ the
European said. ‘The alley, out back. I could take you out there and tell you to
take off that little dress, and spread your legs, and, seriously, what could
you do about it? Just hypothetically, you know. I’m just saying what if? That’s
what I mean about power. I have power over you. It’s not because I’m a good
person and you’re a bad one. It’s not about morality at all.’
His hand dropped from her arm.
From where he sat, Ramon guessed that it had found its way to her thigh or
maybe even beyond. She was sitting very still now. Still smiling, but the smile
was brittle. The pachinko machine had gone quiet. No one else in the bar was
talking, but the European didn’t take notice. Or maybe he did, and this was the
point: that everyone should hear and know. Ramon met Mikel Ibrahim’s eyes and
tapped the rim of his glass. The barkeeper didn’t speak, only poured more
liquor in.
‘Power is what it’s all about,’
his voice was lower now. There was a bass roll in the words. The woman laughed
and pushed back her hair. A nervous gesture. ‘You understand what I’m saying to
you?’
‘I do,’ she said. Her voice was
higher. ‘I really do. But I think it’s time that I -’
‘Don’t get up,’ the European
said. He wasn’t asking.
This is shit, someone whispered. Ramon drank
his whiskey. It was his fourth. Maybe his fifth. Mikel had his credit information.
If he’d been out of money, Mikel would have kicked him out. Ramon placed the
empty glass on the bar and deliberately put both hands palm down and stared at
them. If he was too drunk, they wouldn’t seem like his own. They seemed like
his own. Mostly. He was sober enough. He looked forward and saw himself in the
haze of the mirror; he watched himself smile a little. The woman laughed. There
was no mirth in the sound. There was fear.
‘I want you to say that you
understand,’ the European said, his voice low. ‘And then I want you to come
with me, and show me how much you agree with me.’
‘Hey, pendejo,’1 Ramon
said. ‘You want power? How about you come outside, and I’ll kick your pinche
ass.’
The European looked over,
surprised. There was a moment of utter silence, and then the bar was shouting,
on its feet, cheering. Ramon saw the moment of fear in the European’s eyes, the
rage that followed. Ramon adjusted the knife in his sleeve and grinned.
‘What have you got to smile
about, bijo?’ the supervisor said.
‘I was just thinking about
something,’ Ramon said.
There was a long pause. The
supervisor hunched over like they were both prisoners in the same cell.
‘You gonna change your story?’ he
asked.
Ramon took a long draw on his
cigarette and sighed slowly, releasing a long, gray plume of smoke. A half
dozen smart-ass comments came to mind. Things he could say to show them he wasn’t
scared of them or the aliens they’d made themselves hunting dogs for. In the
end, he said simply, ‘No.’
‘Your call,’ the supervisor said.
‘I still get the food?’
‘Sure. And do yourself a favor.
Reconsider. And do it fast. Paul’s got an idea how he’s going to show the Enye
you’re full of shit. And if they ask to take you back to their ship, you’re
gone. And then you’re doomed.’
‘Thanks for the warning,’ Ramon
said.
‘De nada,’ the supervisor said, making it
clear from his tone that it really was nothing to him. One way or the
other.
* * * *
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Time was a strange thing in the cell. The darkness had left him
feeling discarded and forgotten. Now that the LED was on, Ramon had the sense
of being scrutinized. The light was unforgiving; it made every squalid stain
and scratch and chip in the cell perfectly clear. Ramon considered his wounds
and came to the conclusion that while he would ache and piss blood for days, he
wouldn’t be the last man Johnny Joe Cardenas had killed. He would recover - if
the Enye let him.
There were stories, all
officially denied, about what happened to men who transgressed against the
crews of the transport ships. Ramon had heard his share and believed them or
not, depending on who told them and when and where. Once he’d reached the
colony, they had the same status as ghost stories. They were pleasantly
frightening and grotesque, but nothing to spend time thinking about. Now,
though, he wondered. If they took him, would he hold out?
There wasn’t any advantage to him
in keeping Maneck’s secret if the Enye wrenched it out of him. The slaughter
that followed would be the same whether Ramon offered up the information or had
it taken from him. Except, of course, to Ramon.
On the other hand, he was a tough
sonofabitch. So maybe he could stand it, even if they tried to break him. No
way to know without trying.
Instead of obsessing about it,
Ramon tried to pinpoint the moment that he’d stopped thinking of Maneck and the
aliens beneath the mountain as his enemies. It had to have happened. He had
dedicated himself to killing them for the indignities they’d heaped upon him,
and now here he was, wondering if he would be strong enough to die to protect
them if the need arose. It wasn’t a small change of opinion, and yet he couldn’t
say when it had happened. Or why it felt so much like the moment he’d spoken up
for the woman in the bar. Or why the prospect of his own torture and death didn’t
fill him with some greater dread.
But there had been no promise of
survival with the European either. He could have died in that alley as easily
as he had killed. The result wasn’t the point. It was all about being the kind
of man who would do the sort of thing he was doing. It was a reason to be, a
reason to die a good death, if that’s what it meant. And maybe he had a thing
for lost causes. Like that guy in the telenovela.
And then there were also long
stretches when Ramon knew that if anyone had asked at that particular moment,
he’d have told them anything. Everything. Just as long as they’d let him go.
As the hours passed, he came to fix Maneck’s chances at maybe sixty-forty
against. Depending on what part of its cycle of heroism and cowardice his mind
was in when they came, and whether they pissed him off enough that he’d be
willing to sacrifice himself out of spite.
When the door opened and the
guards stepped in, the supervisor was with them. He’d changed his suit, so
Ramon figured at least a day had passed since he’d been hauled into the cell.
That seemed plausible.
Once he was shackled, the guards
marched him - one before, two behind, and all of them with electric batons out
and charged - to a small meeting chamber. It was nicely appointed. None of the
slaughterhouse feel that the rest of the station maintained. The Enye from
before, or else one enough like it to fool Ramon, stood against one wall, its
slick tongue darting contentedly over its body. The governor was there, and, to
Ramon’s surprise, the woman from the bar. The supervisor had the guards lead
Ramon to a chair bolted to the floor and chain him to it. The governor looked
at him with a mixture of disgust and shrewd evaluation. The woman glanced at
him once, her expression profoundly bored, and turned back to her datapad.
This is all your fucking fault.
He projected the thought toward the woman. If you had stood up for yourself
instead of counting on us to do your fighting for you, I wouldn’t be in this
fucked-up situation.
‘Okay,’ the governor said,
sounding annoyed. ‘Can we get this over?’
‘They’re just getting her into
the interrogation room now, sir,’ the supervisor said.
‘Who?’ Ramon asked. ‘What the
fuck’s going on?’
‘What I told you, bijo,’ the
supervisor said. ‘End of the line.’
A wall screen popped once and
then hummed to life. The hellish little interrogation room came into being,
canted at a disturbing angle. He could see the back of the constable’s head and
the place where the man was just starting to bald. Across from him, Elena was
looking annoyed and fidgeting with a cigarette. Ramon coughed.
‘Hey! Hey, wait. No fucking way.
No way! I just broke it off with her. She’s fucking loco! You can’t
believe a thing she says!’
The governor shot a glance at the
supervisor. The Enye’s wet oyster eyes seemed to flicker as it considered
Ramon. The woman pretended she hadn’t heard him.
‘Señor Espejo,’ the supervisor
said. ‘Extradition hearing needs the governor, a representative of the foreign
power, a representative of the police, and the accused. That’s you. Doesn’t say
a goddam thing about the accused getting to talk. With all due respect for your
rights as a citizen, this is your chance to shut the fuck up before I gag you.
Okay?’
On the screen, the constable and
Elena were going through the motions - stating her name and address, whether
she knew Ramon Espejo.
‘But she’s a liar!’ Ramon said,
embarrassed to hear the whine in his voice.
‘I known that ass-wipe for seven
years,’ Elena said from the screen. ‘Whenever he comes to town, he stays with
me. Eats my food, leaves his crap on my floor. I even washed his pinche clothes,
you believe that? I got a good job, and I’m spending my time off-shift making
sure that slack-ass cabron has clean socks!’
‘So you would call your
relationship with Señor Espejo an intimate one?’
Elena glanced at the constable,
then down at the floor, shrugging.
‘I guess,’ she said. ‘I mean.
Yeah. We were intimate.’
‘In your time with Señor Espejo -
seven years, you said? You washed his laundry often?’
‘Sure,’ Elena said.
‘She never -’ Ramon began. The
supervisor shook his head once - left, right, stop - with a sense of threat
that made Ramon go quiet.
‘And in that time,’ the constable
said, ‘did you ever come across this garment?’
With a flourish, he produced the
robe. Ramon looked over at the Enye. Its gaze was on the screen, its tongue
moving restlessly, darting in and out of its mouth, the fringe of chartreuse
cilia that lined its body squirming like worms.
I’ve got to tell them, Ramon
thought. For fuck’s sake, I got to tell them now before they give me to that
thing.
Second-hand visions danced
through his mind - the Silver Enye on their path of slaughter. What methods
would they devise to wring information from a human? All he had to do was talk,
say a few words, and condemn Maneck’s people to death. How fucking hard could
that be?
‘That rag? All the time,’ Elena
said. ‘Leaves it on the floor of the fucking bathroom whenever he takes a
shower. And you know why? Because he thinks I’m his goddam maid! Pendejo. I’ll
tell you what, I’m way better off without him. Kicking his ass out was the best
thing I ever did!’
Ramon’s panic had deafened him,
so it took a moment before the meaning of her words came to him. He turned to
the screen, his jaw slack. In the interrogation room, silence stretched. The
constable’s mouth moved as if he were speaking, but no words escaped. Elena
scratched herself indelicately. Ramon’s head spun. It was bullshit. Elena couldn’t
have seen this robe, not even after he’d come back from the hospital. She
was lying, and lying in just the right way to save his sorry ass. He couldn’t
understand it.
‘Are you sure of that?’
the constable asked. His voice sounded a little strangled. ‘Please take a very
close look at this. You’re sure you’ve seen this particular piece of clothing?’
‘Yeah,’ Elena said.
‘But in your deposition, you said
that Señor Espejo doesn’t own a robe.’
‘That’s not a robe,’ Elena said. ‘Robe
is like, down to your ankles long. That would only go to just under his knee.
It’s more like a smock.’
‘And this smock…’ the constable
said, then trailed off. Ramon almost felt sorry for the little shit. What was
there left for him to say?
‘He’s had it since I met him,’
Elena said. ‘I kept telling him to throw the fucking shabby thing out, but did
he ever listen to me? Never. Never once, about anything. Pinche motherfucker.’
‘Ah,’ the constable said. And
then, hopelessly, ‘You’re sure?’
‘Do I look stupid?’ Elena
asked, frowning.
A sense of unreality washed over
him. Someone had gotten to her. Someone had gotten to Elena between the time
she gave her deposition and now, and coached her on how to pull Ramon’s sorry
balls out of the fire. He wondered how much it had cost? Knowing Elena,
probably a fair amount. He didn’t let himself laugh, but the relief was like
taking a drink of the best whiskey he’d ever had. Better, maybe.
Standing beside the governor, the
straight-haired woman looked over at him, her face empty of any expression.
The problem with aliens, Ramon
realized, was that they could never truly understand all the subtle ways that
humans could communicate with humans. A hundred years of talking, and Ramon
would never have been able to explain to anyone else how exactly the woman
raising her chin a few millimeters meant ‘you’re welcome’ and ‘thank you’ and ‘we’re
even’ all at the same time. Ramon imagined the European’s soul, trapped
somewhere in Hell, keening his anger as Ramon escaped.
On screen, the constable limped
through a few more pointless questions and then closed the interrogation. The
governor tapped at his datapad once, and the wallscreen image faded. Ramon
rubbed his hand against his thigh, trying to hide his elation by feigning impatience
and rage.
‘So you still want to gag me, pendejo?’
Ramon asked. ‘I don’t mean to be, you know, unreasonable or anything. But
now that you fuckers have locked me up, kicked the shit out of me, and tried to
hand me over to that great glob of snot over there, can someone unlock these
fucking shackles so I can go talk to a lawyer about how much I can sue you for?’
‘His account is consistent,’ the
Enye piped. ‘He is of no interest.’
Never in his life had Ramon been
so thoroughly pleased to be of no interest. The governor, his assistant, and
the Enye all left while Ramon was being processed out. The supervisor went
through the forms and procedures with a bored efficiency; only his continued
presence indicated that he wanted to be sure nothing else about all this went
wrong. Within an hour, Ramon stepped onto the street, worse for wear but
grinning all the same. He paused to spit on the ground at the base of the
station house stairs, then strode out into the city, making it almost half a
block before he realized that he had nowhere to go.
He had been on his way to find
Lianna and create some kind of new life for himself. He was maybe two hours’
walk from there now, still with the wristband identification they used when you
were in custody, bruised and beaten from his time with Johnny Joe, and not
feeling up to a long walk anyway. He kept moving until he found a public square
- a sad little plot of dirt in the shadow of an administrative complex. He sat
on a bench; just for a few minutes, though. He didn’t want the police to hassle
him, and he figured he looked like a bum.
A bum. Without a place of his
own. Without a job. He had nothing, only a half-baked plan to rebuild himself
and a secret he couldn’t tell anyone. High above, the Enye ships flickered,
their forms dimmed by the haze of smoke that squatted over the city. The sun
would set soon, and the few stars that could struggle against the city lights
would come out. Ramon shoved his hands in his pockets.
Lianna seemed like a dream now.
An idea he’d had when he was drunk only to find it nonsense when sobriety
returned. He tried to imagine what he would say to her, how he would explain
that the beaten-up, penniless prospector without a van or even a place to sleep
was someone who had worth. Never mind that he’d just gotten out of the station
house jail and probably smelled like it. Never mind that he’d just become the
new Johnny Joe, first on the list of usual suspects to be rounded up the next
time the governor needed someone to take the fall for some inconveniently
unsolvable crime. He knew what Lianna would see when she looked at him.
She’d see Ramon Espejo.
It was still twilight when he
reached the butcher’s shop. It had been closed for hours, metal bars hugging
the door and windows. He took the side stairs up. There were lights still on in
Elena’s apartment. He stood in the gloom at the top of the stairs for a long
time. There were cats in the alley - another species imported from Earth.
Lizards skittered up the wall and took wing. The scent of old blood rotting in
the alley mixed with the woodsmoke and van exhaust; the odor of Diegotown was
acrid and familiar. The tension in his shoulders and gut was familiar. Up in
the night sky, Big Girl was peeking out from behind the high clouds. The boom
and blare of distant music.
He knocked.
When she opened the door, he
could see the question in her eyes. There were any number of reasons he might
have come. To say thank you. To get some of the shit he’d forgotten and leave
again. To stay. Each one had a different greeting to match it, and she wasn’t
sure which to use. He wasn’t either.
‘Hey,’ he said.
‘You look like shit,’ she said. ‘The
cops do that?’
‘Get their fucking hands dirty?
No, they had a guy do it for them.’
Elena crossed her arms across her
breasts. She hadn’t stood aside, afraid, he guessed, that he wouldn’t accept
the invitation.
‘You give as good as you got?’
she asked.
‘He’s dead,’ Ramon said. ‘I didn’t
kill him, so I’m not in trouble or any shit like that. But he was there because
of me, and they killed him. I figure that means I won.’
‘Tough cabron,’ Elena
said, half mocking, but only half. ‘Dangerous to cross.’
An orbital shuttle throbbed up
into the night. Ramon smiled; it hurt a little, around his eye. Elena looked
down, smiled shyly at his knees, and stepped back. He went inside, closing the
door behind him. She’d made rice gumbo. It was the kind of dish she could tell
herself she made so she could eat the leftovers through the week. Or it could be
meant to feed two. Ramon sat at the table and let her serve him a plate.
‘You were good,’ he said. ‘With
the cops, I mean. That thing about how it’s a smock?’
‘You liked that?’ Elena asked. ‘That
was my idea.’
‘It was good,’ Ramon said. ‘Only
thing was, with the camera like that, I couldn’t see his face.’
Elena grinned, made a bowl for
herself and sat down. The atmosphere surrounding them seemed fragile as blown
glass. Ramon cleared his throat, but didn’t have any words to follow up with,
so he took a mouthful of gumbo. It wasn’t very good.
‘That rich lady,’ Elena said. ‘The
one who came and talked to me? She was the one at the El Rey?’
‘Yeah,’ Ramon said. ‘That was
her.’
‘She seemed okay.’
‘I don’t know. I never talked to
her.’
Elena’s eyes narrowed, her lips
thinned. Ramon felt the distrust emanating from her like heat. He shook his
head.
‘No shit,’ he said. ‘She never
said a fucking word to me. I only ever heard her name because one of the cops
said it.’
‘You got in a knife fight with a
guy over some woman you never even talked to?’ Elena’s voice was incredulous
but not angry.
‘Well. He didn’t know it
was a knife fight,’ Ramon said.
‘You’re fucking crazy,’ she said.
Ramon laughed. Elena laughed with
him. The fragile moment passed; the fight they’d had was just another fight
now. One of a thousand before and a thousand still to come, too insignificant
to remember. He reached out and took her hand.
‘I’m glad you came back,’ she
said.
‘I fit here,’ he said. ‘I thought
for a while I was someone else, but this is where I am, you know? To be Ramon
and not Ramon is aubre.’
‘What’s that mean?’
‘Damned if I know,’ Ramon said
through a grin. ‘It’s just something a friend of mine used to say.’
* * * *
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
It was a crisp clear day in Octember. The van’s lift tubes whined,
and one of the rear pair lost power sometimes. If Ramon didn’t keep an eye on
it, he’d wind up flying in a long, slow circle, the terreno cimarrón below
him going on until his fuel cells ran down. It was especially a pain in the ass
because the winter night fell early this far north, and he would have liked to
put the van on autopilot and got a little sleep. Instead, he stayed humped over
the bullshit instrument panel running diagnostics and telling himself that his
days of fifth-rate rented vans was going to end. Just four or five good trips
in a row. And after this trip, four or five good runs should be easy.
The Enye had remained parked
above São Paulo for two months, shuttles rising into the sky and dropping back
down, sometimes as often as a dozen times a day. As the weeks went by, Ramon
had found it harder and harder to stay in the city. Once his latest set of
wounds had more or less healed, the impulse to get out of the city and into the
wild returned. His patience with the people around him grew shorter and
shorter. And to make things worse, he didn’t dare get drunk.
The police were making it quite
clear that they had their eyes on Ramon. He couldn’t go to the store without
seeing someone in a uniform lurking nearby. On the few occasions he did go into
a bar, a constable always seemed to materialize a few minutes later. Twice, he
got pulled in for questioning over some petty crime he’d had nothing to do
with. Both times he’d had alibis that even the police couldn’t deny. But it was
clear enough. They wanted him out, and he wanted to oblige them. He would have,
if there had been any money.
Instead, he stayed at home and
drank a little of Elena’s whiskey. When he got a little buzzed, he’d get on her
link and snoop through the records and boards for answers to idle questions. It
was how he learned that Martin Casaus had died three years before in a wreck,
that Lianna was married and had a kid. It was where he discovered that the
European’s name had been Dorian Andres, and that the trade agreements he’d been
working to broker - agreements that wouldn’t be signed in this generation or
the next - were being sent back to Europa in hopes that the process wouldn’t
have to be postponed for another hundred or thousand years, followed up by the
children of children whose parents hadn’t yet been born. Space was too large
for these things to mean as much as the politicians wanted them to.
And it was where he discovered
that the Silver Enye were moving on. The eaters-of-the-young had finished
trading, and they were heading out to the next colony. Searching for their
prey, though no woman or man on the planet knew that besides himself. The
afternoon they were scheduled to go there was another big carnival downtown in
their honor, but instead of attending, Ramon got a couple beers, crawled up
onto the roof of Elena’s apartment by himself, and watched the ships go. When
the last light of their drives had faded from the deep blue sky, Ramon flipped
them off. Fucking pendejos!
Elena kicked him out about the
time of the first snow, but even that was strange. The way it used to be, he
would have done something, she would have got pissed, and they’d have ended
throwing punches and plates. Instead, one morning Elena looked at him, shook
her head, and told him it was time for him to go before he did something
stupid. It had been like that ever since she’d saved his ass with the police.
They still fought, they still yelled, but when it was something important, it
was just a statement. The beans are cold. That shirt’s not clean. It’s time
for you to go before you do something stupid. The plan Ramon had been
working on was as close to ready as it was ever going to be, and the call of
the open sky was getting louder in his heart every day. She was right. He
needed to get out for a while. And then, when the city and the people and the
lingering threat of the Enye were out of his system, he would need to come
back.
Griego had been a hardass about
the whole thing, pressing Ramon about why he didn’t have better insurance on
his last van. Pointing out that Ramon was asking him to trust equipment to a
crazy fuck who’d gone out last time with a perfectly good machine and come back
naked and three-fourths dead with nothing to show for it. The negotiation had
gone on over cans of Griego’s beer until they were both drunk off their asses
and singing old songs. In the morning, they both remembered they’d made an
agreement, but the contract they’d drawn up was half gibberish. It had their
signatures on it, though, so Griego had agreed to loan Ramon a van on the
understanding that the rental fee would be half of any income that resulted
from the run plus depreciation on the van. He was fucking Ramon over, but Ramon
didn’t care. He wasn’t making shit off this run anyway. This was just the first
part of the plan. Getting rich came later.
The moons were both out, Big Girl
high in the sky while Little Girl was just starting to peak over the horizon.
Their cool blue light allowed glimpses of the terrain below. The Océano
Tétrico was black as coffee in the darkness, but Ramon knew that the
daylight, when it came, would reveal water a deep, lush green. Winter was
growing time in the ocean, just the reverse of the land. Something to do with
oxygenation levels, but what it meant to him was an endless plain of tiny green
waves, the bite of winter air, and the scent of salt and turning tides. He
conjured it all now, constructing the world in his mind. His belly had lost that
sick feeling since he’d left Diegotown. His mind felt calmer, slower, less like
a dog caged in a kennel. It was moments like this that made the difference. The
van chimed, and he turned his attention back to the next of the near-infinite
small manual corrections flying the thing required.
In a real van and not this
half-dead lump of tin, he would have gone on to the Sierra Hueso in a single
jump, but he knew that if he left the panel and tried to bed down, his distrust
of the van would keep him awake anyway. Near midnight, he overflew Fiddler’s
Jump, aimed the van east to the unlogged forests, and circled until he found a
little clearing to set down in. The snow was deep enough it would have been
hard work to get the door open, had he intended to go out. But inside the small
box, its heating system online and keeping the air warm, it felt like being
wrapped in a good wool blanket on a cold night. He curled up on his cot and
fell asleep wondering what the difference was between blackmail and extortion.
The plan, once it had finally
coalesced, was a simple one. Maneck and his people had been squatting hidden on
this planet since long before the colony had begun. They’d chosen the place to
hide their hive. They might even have other hives scattered around the planet.
He would offer them the trade - share the information they had about the planet’s
mineral resources, and once he was making enough money to keep it from seeming
weird, he’d put stop claims on the land they inhabited, make sure those sites
weren’t developed, that no other prospectors blundered upon them. In order for
that to work, he’d have to be making a lot of stop claims. So he’d have to be
making a lot of money. In fact, he’d have to be one of the richest men in the
colony, so it was pretty important for Maneck and the others to make sure Ramon
got a lot of very rich claims.
The trick, of course, was that he
had to tell all this to the aliens so that they’d understand what the deal was,
and what the consequences to them would be if they just killed him on the spot
rather than listening. He’d recorded it all - times, coordinates, descriptions
of the aliens and their relationship to the Enye - then encrypted the file and
given it to Mikel Ibrahim to keep in whatever drawer held Ramon’s old gravity knife.
The man had proven himself capable of keeping a secret. Maybe, when Ramon got
rich, he’d hire him on as an overseer or something. Regardless, the agreement
was that Ramon would come get the data when he was done with this run. If
spring came without him, Mikel would hand it over to the cops. Ramon knew
intellectually that trusting the aliens’ fate to Griego’s fifth-rate van was a
shitty thing to do; if the lift tubes failed or the power cell blew, the aliens
would suffer the same fate as if they’d killed him. But Ramon hadn’t seen any
other way to go about it. Plus which, if it came down that way, he’d be dead
himself and wouldn’t care.
It was a risk, of course. Maybe a
big one. There was no knowing what these bastards would think or do. Stranger
than a norteamericano, or even the Japanese. If he couldn’t make them
understand about the insurance policy he’d left behind, they’d probably kill
him. Hell, maybe they’d kill him anyway, even if they did understand. Who could
know? But life was a risk. That was how you knew you were living.
The morning came late that far
north, and Ramon had to cycle through startup three times before the lift tubes
all de-iced the way they were supposed to. It was just shy of noon before he
took to the sky again, skimming over the snow-laden treetops, watching the ice
clouds high over the mountains, and humming to himself. Off to the west was the
thin silver-white band that was the Rio Embudo, where he’d almost died.
Somewhere in that flow - eaten by fish, his bones washed out to sea - the other
Ramon had by now become part of the world in a way that could never be undone.
Ramon touched his brow in a sign of respect for the dead. ‘Better you than me, cabron,’
he said again.
He had been afraid that the
change of seasons would have made the discontinuity in the land’s face hard to
find. He’d budgeted three days to poke through the mountains, but he didn’t
need them. He put the van down in the same upland meadow where he’d landed so
long ago, in another life, wrapped himself in warm, waterproof clothes, and
took up his new field kit. It took him less than an hour to divine the shape of
the stone beneath the snow, to recognize where exactly he was and where he
wanted to go.
As he trudged through the snow,
he pulled the caver’s spike from his pack. It was as long as his forearm with a
tempered, sharp point and a small blasting cap on the end. Ramon had also
brought coring charges, but he didn’t want to take down the whole rock face
again if he didn’t have to. When he reached the cliff, he dusted it with his
hands, looking for a likely spot, paused to judge the overhanging snow - dying
in an avalanche would be a stupid way to die at this point - and set the caver’s
spike.
It fired off with a sharp, dry
report. White-feathered lace crows unfolded themselves awkwardly from the
trees, squawking in complaint, and tenfin birds flew up along the slope, crying
like grieving women. Hopefully the tip of the spike had driven into the silvery
metal of the hive. Ramon remembered what he’d felt like, walking up to that
imperfect mirror, seeing his own foggy reflection stumbling toward him out of
it.
For a long time, nothing
happened. Ramon began to wonder if he’d gotten the wrong place. Or if the spike
hadn’t gone in far enough. Or if the aliens had abandoned the hive, fleeing to
some even more distant corner of the world, or maybe burrowing deeper into it.
That would have been just his luck. What if they’d decided that his own escape
had constituted gaesu after all, and all committed suicide? What if
inside the mountain there was nothing but the dead?
But as he began to turn back to
the van to get the coring charges, to try again, the snow far above him and off
to the left shifted. Great sheets of it crumbled and fell as the stone beneath
it irised open. A hole appeared, blacker from being set in the white of winter.
And then with a high-pitched whine like a centrifuge spinning up, a yunea emerged,
its pale, ropey sides shining the yellow of old ivory. The box hovered for a
moment as if considering him.
Ramon waved his arms, trying to
catch the thing’s attention and also show that he wasn’t afraid of it. He’d
come there intentionally. The alien craft hovered, shifted one way and then
another, as if trying to make sense of him. Ramon, reassured by the alien’s
hesitation, lit a cigarette and grinned into the cold wind. The slats of the yunea’s,
side thinned, and Ramon saw the alien form within. It was perhaps six feet
tall, its skin yellowish with a swirling pattern of black and silver that was
scarred in places from old wounds. One of the hot orange eyes had darkened
permanently. Ramon smiled at his old friend and captor.
‘Hey, monster!’ he shouted, his
hands cupped around his mouth. ‘Come on down! Another monster wants to talk to
you!’
* * * *
AFTERWORD
How the story told in Hunter’s Run arrived at its final
form as a novel is itself an epic tale. It relates how a good idea demands its
due. The complete process took thirty years.
The birth of the story was an
image in the mind of Gardner Dozois: of a man floating in darkness. In thrall
to this idea, Gardner needed to know how the man had got there, where he was,
what had happened to him. He knew instantly that the man’s name was Ramon
Espejo and he was mixed-race Hispanic. Before even putting pen to paper (this
was 1976) he had worked out many of the plot strands and the extraordinary
circumstances of Ramon’s existence. So far, so good. A few thousand words
later, however, typed without margins and single spaced, he stalled. The brief
manuscript then spent a year in a drawer, the first but by no means the last or
the longest spell it was to spend in limbo.
In 1977, George R.R. Martin
invited Gardner to be guest instructor at a summer SF writing workshop in
Dubuque, Iowa at a small Catholic women’s college where George was then
teaching journalism. The staff room was full of nuns. Worse, they were Secret
Nuns - they did not wear their habits - profanity was met by blanching faces
and hurried signs of the cross. There was plenty of profanity in the story
Gardner took for the workshops: the nascent but very embryonic story of Ramon.
As Gardner recalls, everyone
pretty much hated the Ramon story, but George liked it. After another three
years in the drawer, Gardner took it out again and asked George to collaborate
on it. George retyped the unnumbered, margin-free, single-spaced pages on his
fancy Smith Corona electric. Gardner had got Ramon out of the mountain where he
was ‘born’ and now George was moving the story down to the river, with Ramon
the Clone and Maneck hunting Ramon the Original. This took until the summer of
1981.
As he worked on the story it
occurred to George that this could well become a novel: there was a whole alien
world, an ecosystem, to discover. The questions of loyalty and identity that
formed the thematic heart of the story deserved to be examined in depth, and
the river journey was the perfect vehicle for that. He thought of Huck and Tom
on the Mississippi and how the epic journey had revealed and defined their characters.
He wanted Maneck and Ramon the Clone to experience each other in this way, and
be transformed, before they caught up with Ramon the Original. Before the
Ramons came face to face. By now, George had come up with the title the story
would appear under as a novella: Shadow Twin.
George suggested to Gardner that
they should between them grow the forty-three page fragment into a
five-hundred-page novel, each taking turns at moving the story forward until
they stalled, each revising the work done by the other as they went… George
sent the fragment back to Gardner in 1982 with a note, ‘the ball is now in your
court’.
Shadow Twin lay essentially untouched in a
drawer in Gardner’s study from 1982 until 2002. It was mentioned in passing,
from time to time. It would not be forgotten. Gardner had stalled, true, and
stayed stalled for two decades, but then it came to him: if he couldn’t move
the story on, as he had to before handing it back to George, why not get
someone young, dynamic, prolific and very good to galvanize the Ramons to the
next stage. Enter Daniel Abraham.
It was George who explained the
situation to the young and enthusiastic Daniel. Daniel entered the typed
manuscript on his word processor. George’s work on the story had brought it up
to 20,000 words. It went up to the point at which Ramon the Clone fell asleep
and entered the flow. Daniel reminded himself that his co-authors were barely
older than he when they last worked on the story, and so it was a collaboration
of three young writers across time, not two venerable and successful authors
one young Turk.
Daniel developed the story of
Ramon in Diegotown, bringing him into contact with other people, so that the
changes in him are revealed when he returns to the city. He worked on suggestions
from George, and a finished novella was in sight. However, being the young
Turk, Daniel cut as many words as he added. These Gardner put back in, adding
and polishing, newly inspired at last, preserving the colour and landscaping of
the original.
* * * *
AUTHOR Q & A
Gardner Dozois
1) The alien species in the book
are very powerfully imagined and brought to life. Can you talk about how you
went about creating their distinctive appearances and how you chose to portray
both their physical appearances and their internal lives?
Well, I think the hardest thing
to do - the thing that was important - was to make aliens that were as
different from humans as possible without being impossible for a humanoid to
talk and communicate with it. The Enye, for example, are essentially big
boulders, but they still eat and drink, so just biologically, there is some
level of similarity.
I suspect if we ever did find
alien life, it would be so totally unlike us, there would be no way to
communicate meaningfully at all. That’s not much use when you want to write
about something, though, so there was some compromise about that. A way to make
them things we could interact with but not just make them guys with unlikely
bumps on their foreheads.
As for Maneck and his aliens,
their appearance really comes from a trip to the zoo. There were some African
birds - I don’t remember the species - but the description of the eyes and the
crest on the top of his head came from that. Observation of animals really
helps set a basis for that kind of thing.
2) The protagonist Ramon was also
your creation. When you started writing the story in the 1970s, how common was
it to have a protagonist of explicitly Mexican descent, and how do you think it
has changed now that it’s being published thirty years later?
One of the big differences is
that I made Ramon in the 1970s very stereotypical. I mean he didn’t wear a big
sombrero or ride a mule, but he talked like the Cisco Kid. We needed to move
away from that.
The original idea of the story
was that it would be easier to hunt someone if you had their clone. If you knew
what someone’s psychology was, you could anticipate their moves. Of course
that wouldn’t work with an actual clone, and we explain in the book that he isn’t
an actual clone. But I wanted to do something rather unusual with that.
There was an essay by Damon
Knight complaining that almost all heroes in science fiction are middle-class
white Americans whereas almost no one on Earth is. Or the percentage is so
vanishingly small. Damon wrote in that essay ‘Where is the space hero who is
Mexican?’ I thought that was a fair question. The only one I could think of
offhand who had addressed that was G. C. Edmondson (Jose Mario Garry Ordoez
Edmondson y Cotton), who was actually from that cultural background. I didn’t
know very much about Mexican culture, but it seemed like something close enough
that we could write a story without having to do years and years of research.
And of course with George living in the southwest, and then later Daniel too,
it seemed like an interesting thing to do.
So I started to wonder what a
colony would be like if it sprang from South and Central American cultures?
There would be some similarity, certainly, but there would also be other
points.
Since the 1970s, I’ve gotten a
little more direct experience of those cultures. I’ve spent some time in
Barbados and the Caribbean and that gave me a better feel for what a colony
that comes from Hispanic cultures might be like, especially with the Indian
admixture.
3) As both the first and last
writer on the project, you saw the story grow from a tiny idea to first a
novella and now a full novel. What are the differences you see in this final
form as compared to the earlier novella? How did the story itself change?
When we expanded into a novel, we
got to get into things that we regretted not having done. We had wanted more
interaction - more of a relationship - between Ramon and Maneck. And between
Ramon and the other Ramon. In this version, we even get a moment with all three
of them. That was missing in the earlier story.
Also in the novella, the ending
doesn’t leave you sure how he’s really going to get out of trouble. We got to
deal with the implications of his journey in a much more sophisticated way than
we could have in the shorter form, especially since we were coming up on the
limit of how long you could write a novella and really have it be commercially
viable.
In an ideal world, we could have
done even more, but we don’t want this to be a six-volume story.
4) Despite, or maybe because of,
his failings, Ramon is an Everyman figure: to what extent did you mean for the
story to work as a moral tale?
Well, primarily, it’s meant to be
a good rip-roaring adventure tale. But it’s like Treasure of the Sierra
Madre; anytime you have complex, motivated creatures interacting with each
other, there will perforce be a moral you can point to.
Ramon at the beginning of the
story is both not as good as he thinks he is and not as bad as he thinks he is.
By the end, he’s gotten a more realistic appraisal of what his obligations and
abilities are. The Ramon at the end of the story is a better one - not in a
goody-goody way - than the one at the start.
* * * *
George R.R.
Martin
1) Speaking as the first person
Gardner brought onto the project, there must have been something in that very
early draft that caught your attention. Could you talk a little about what
attracted you to the idea of collaborating on it? Was it the particular project
or the idea of collaboration itself?
I read the story several years
before I got involved with writing it. The first time I saw it was in 1977 in
the context of a writer’s workshop, and I liked it at the time. I mean, I had
some quibbles and things I wanted to change, but basically I responded to it
well. It drew me in. I wanted to know how it ended. By the time Gardner came to
me - I think that was 1981 - it was pretty clear that if I wanted to know, I’d
have to write it myself.
And I also liked the idea of
working with Gardner. This is going back decades, you know. Before he was
editor of Asimov’s and before he was doing the Year’s Best anthologies, Gardner
was one of the most interesting new writers of the 1970s and early 80s. He did
some very interesting work. I’d done a number of other collaborations. With
Howard Waldrop and Lisa Tuttle, for example.
There’s a stage in a career where
it’s useful to collaborate. Even if you yourself are fairly accomplished,
other writers have other techniques and strategies. You can discuss what
exactly a scene is going to be, but when they go off and actually write it,
there are going to be differences in the way you would have approached it. By
working closely, you can see those techniques, and it makes you a better
writer.
2) From the beginning, you were
the one who had the strongest sense that the story deserved to be a novel. Can
you talk about what potential you saw even in the early stages that gave you
that faith?
In the novella, we had this whole
alien world that was hardly explored. Ramon thinks back to the colony and his
girlfriend and things like that, but we never really get to see things. The
planet wasn’t explored in any depth. I wanted to travel through the place more.
I thought there was something there.
The river journey was something I
brought to the story. I’d just finished writing Fevre Dream, and I had
been reading a lot of Mark Twain, particularly Huckleberry Finn. And the sense
of this journey the two characters took together and of that travel as a
changing event... I saw that there was a lot of depth and possibility in that.
The story also evolved a lot of
echoes of Ursula le Guin’s Left Hand of Darkness. That was another story
of two people together on a journey and the kind of exploration that happens
there. With Estraven and Genly Ai trapped on the ice, there was a serious
exploration of sex and gender, which is one part of being human. With Ramon
and Maneck - and then with Ramon and the original Ramon - there were other questions
about what it means to be human. I saw the chance to do something similar.
3) It sounds as if you had a
pretty clear vision of how the novel would grow out of the earlier versions of
the story, but you were also working with two collaborators who no doubt had
their own visions and opinions. How closely did the final result come to the
potential novel that you imagined?
Well, hindsight colours
perceptions. It seems to me now that the outcome is quite similar to what I’d
pictured. It’s these three characters and all the questions of identity and
humanity and what defines them. To go back for a minute to Huck Finn, that was
a story about two people on a river where one of them - Nigger Jim - wasn’t
even defined as human. He was a slave, and the book was, among other things,
about Huck’s struggling to decide what helping Jim said about him. Could you
be a good person and also help an escaped slave? What does it mean to say Jim
isn’t really human? I think those kinds of questions were what drove the
novella first and then the novel.
I mean, all the contributors
added certain things, but no one took any hard left turns. We didn’t put a
bunch of dragons in or anything. I think we all had very similar ends in mind.
So I think this is very much the structure I envisioned. I’m very pleased with
it.
Putting it into Gardner’s
universe was actually something that came late in the process, but I think it
worked. I think if someone picked up Gardner’s novel Strangers, they
wouldn’t see any conflicts with the universe we show in this novel. It was
pretty much seamless.
4) In my interview with Gardner,
I asked how much he thought Ramon was an Everyman figure, and he said that the
story is primarily meant as a rip-roaring adventure. Would you agree with that
assessment?
Well, I hope it works as an
adventure story, but I think it’s more than that. There are a lot of questions
that the story asks. What is the protagonist? Is he an alien? Is he Ramon
Espejo? Is he superior to the original Ramon? Does he have the right to kill
this other man and take over his life?
The original title of the story
was Shadow Twin, and I always thought that spoke to the issues in the
story. Identical twins have the same genetics, but they’re different people.
There’s the old good twin/evil twin cliché.
The protagonist has human DNA,
but he was born in a vat. Maneck and the aliens are his father and mother. And
then Gardner had the sahael which, I thought, had really creepy
umbilical cord overtones. So was the protagonist the human’s twin? The alien’s? The book has a lot to say about these deeper issues of what identity is, about what
humanity is. I don’t see Ramon - the protagonist Ramon, I mean - as an
Everyman. He’s a particular man. To say Everyman loses something. He’s there to
stand in for humanity, but he’s a very particular human being. People don’t
like reading about Everyman. They want Raskolnikov or Gully Foyle.
* * * *
Daniel Abraham
1) You were the last of the
writers to come in on the project. How much of the story was in place when you
first saw it, and how much influence did you have on the final form of the
story?
Well, in a lot of ways, I felt
like this was a collaboration with three beginning writers over the course of
thirty years. Of the three beginning writers, I was the lucky one, though. I
got to consult with older, more experienced folks. They didn’t have that
resource.
By the time I put hands to it,
there were a lot of things already set. The characters, the setting, the plot
arc. And even though it hadn’t been written, the ending was kind of there. With
a good plot, the ending is already being set up at the very start, and I could
see as soon as we knew that our guy wasn’t really Ramon where this was all
going to end.
But that said, I think I had a
lot of influence over how we got there. And when the time came to expand into a
novel, I was the one who pushed for throwing out the novella and starting
again. I thought it would make for a better book; a real, unified piece of work
instead of a novella that got padded up. They gave me that, and it was a real
concession. I appreciate it.
2) In the novel, Ramon’s
relationship with other people is very ambiguous, especially with the women in
his life. How do those relationships fit in with the character’s journey
through the wilderness?
Part of the sort of symbolic
underpinning of the story is that Ramon when we meet him is about the most
alienated man you can picture. Alienated, get it? He hates being around other
people. We don’t hear about family or close relationships apart from this
really dysfunctional lover. The closest thing he has to parents is a rough
mentor-figure who died on the journey over from Earth.
The first part of the story - the
part that’s set in the city before he goes out and everything falls apart - has
a lot to do with seeing Ramon as a violent, unstable, unreliable guy. There’s
this whole sort of James M Cain plot about killing a guy and being on the run.
As we learn more about the murder and more about Ramon’s romantic past, he
becomes more human to us as readers. There’s a scene on the river when he
listens to the original Ramon doing the traditional masculine bluster about a
woman Ramon used to be in love with. The way the original man minimizes that
story is really sad.
It’s one of the things that really
make the new Ramon who comes back a different person from the one that went
out. The heartbreaking thing about Ramon is how much he wants to be a hero, and
just can’t quite swing it. It’s not him.
3) The setting of the novel is,
of course, very exotic. How did you come up with an alien world and make it
plausible and interesting?
A lot of the credit for that goes
to Gardner. He’s very into the kind of big, lush weirdness that makes the
wilderness in the novel what it is. I admire it, but it’s not something that
comes naturally to me. Gardner says I’m more interested in characters and their
internal psychological lives. He calls me a modernist, and I think he means it
as a compliment about half the time.
To answer the question, though, I
think the real power is in the details. The way the flat bird-like things -
flapjacks - chime like church bells. The little monkey-lizards jumping from
branch to branch with high, frightened voices. Or mundane things like how cold
the river is. Even if you don’t remember them once you’re done reading, it’s
that kind of thing that puts you in the moment. And I think that’s true of any
story. I’ve never been to Victorian England or an FBI crime lab either, but a
good writer will use the same techniques to put mc there.
4) In my previous interviews,
George and Gardner have taken slightly different views of Ramon as an Everyman
figure. Gardner holds that the book is primarily meant as an adventure story.
George thinks there are deeper philosophical issues. Which perspective do you
have?
Well, I’m a modernist, right? So
I think it’s a psychological allegory. We’ve got a guy who has this encounter
with something that’s just barely explicable, and it, changes him by making him
more authentically himself.
This is the real joy of science
fiction and fantasy writing. Or horror. Maybe especially horror. It’s all about
literalized metaphors. It isn’t as if Ramon is driven by forces he can’t
understand; he’s driven by Maneck and the sahael, and he can’t
understand them. It isn’t as if he meets himself; he meets himself. It isn’t as
if he kills his old self. He does. He kills his old self.
The thing that I think really
sets the novel version of this story above the novella is the ending. In the
novella, Ramon breaks up with Elena and starts making himself into a good,
respectable citizen. In the novel, it’s much more psychologically realistic. He
was an alienated, violent monster in the first chapter, and then he went on
this journey of self-discovery. At the end, he’s an alienated, violent monster
who’s more at peace with that identity. I find that profoundly satisfying in a
way that having him become a traditional hero figure wouldn’t have been.