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Dead Easy


Apocalypse Pretty Soon!

The portents are lining up for the biggest supernatural showdown of all time and—as if the Big Easy didn't have enough problems with another hurricane on the way—New Orleans is due to be the epicenter. Or, more precisely, the storm is vectoring in on half-vampire (but fresh-blood-eschewing) Chris Cséjthe and his rag-tag coterie of outcast monsters. It seems Cséjthe's epic mating with a werewolf lover has produced a child who holds the destiny of several worlds in the balance. And everyone who is anyone—vampire lord, were-pack leader, and the odd sea monster god and immortal elven princess—wants to twist this fabled progeny to his or her own power-hungry purposes.

The latest thrill-packed, wisecracking entry in the popular "Halflife Chronicles" by witty (and nitty-gritty) goth master, Wm. Mark Simmons!

"[O]ne of those rare novels that combine levity and the supernatural in just the right balance."
Chronicle on Wm. Mark Simmons' Habeas Corpses.

Cover Art by Clyde Caldwell


ORDER Hardcover

This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this book are fictional, and any resemblance to real people or incidents is purely coincidental.

First printing, June 2007

Distributed by Simon & Schuster
1230 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Simmons, Wm. Mark.
Dead easy / by Wm. Mark Simmons.
p. cm.
ISBN 1-4165-2085-6
I. Title.

PS3569.I4774D4 2007
813'.54—dc22
2007010170

Printed in the United States of America

ISBN-13: 978-1-4165-2132-7
ISBN-10: 1-4165-2132-1

Copyright© 2007 by Wm. Mark Simmons

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form.

A Baen Books Original
Baen publishing Enterprises
P.O. Box 1403
Riverdale, NY 10471
http://www.baen.com

Electronic version by WebWrights
http://www.webscription.net


Dead Easy was undertaken during a particularly tumultuous period of events that made the writing of this book far different than the experience I envisioned in the original synopsis and proposal. I'd like to thank the electronic 1st Readers Club whose feedback and supplemental input was most helpful during a period of extraordinary change and limited access to my familiar resources and support. Any errors, inconsistencies, and faults herein are my own.

Richard Acosta, J.J. Brannon, Kyle Carmichael, Benjamin Cock, Thomas Erickson, Erik Fischer, Tracy Fretwell, Tana Hamza, James Hayes, Jack Long, Lee Martindale, Robyn McNees, Greg Normington, Jr., William A. Oates, Porter Peaden, Sanjay Ramamurthy, Anthony D. Rhodes, Dawn Rodriguez, Roger Ross, Brad Sinor, Anthony Stasak, Lynn Stranathan, Jim Wagner

Thanks guys!

Special Thanks also to Clyde Caldwell and Christine Klingbiel for their part in bringing certain characters, past and present, to life.

Finally
This one's for Howard and Jules
You never know who's going to end up in your five.
 

 

Also by Wm. Mark Simmons:

ALMOST A VAMPIRE SERIES

One Foot In The Grave
Dead On My Feet
Habeas Corpses

DREAMLAND CHRONICLES

In The Net Of Dreams
When Dreams Collide
The Woman Of His Dreams

Pathfinder

 

Author's Note:

This is a work of fiction.

As always, any resemblance to great old ones, elder things, people living, dead, undead, or the thing waiting under your bed when you finally close the book and turn off the light, is purely coincidental.

As for any resemblance to acts of God (or acts of the gods): The plot synopsis, story outline, proposal, and primary research for Dead Easy were completed prior to January 2005.

 

The fault lies not in the stars, dear Brutus, but in ourselves . . . 

 

 
Ride, Captain, ride upon your mystery ship
On your way to a world that others might have missed

Skip Konte / Frank Konte / Mike Pinira
Ride Captain Ride

 

 
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade
He'd let us in, knows where we've been
In his octopus's garden in the shade . . . 

Ringo Starr
Octopus's Garden

 

 
And you tell me over and over and over and over again my friend,
Ah, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.

Barry McGuire
Eve of Destruction

 

 
And the sea gave up the dead which were in it . . . 
—Revelation 20:13

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