31
One month later
I swirled the champagne around in my glass. Bubbles rose up in the golden liquid, then fizzed out.
Just like my life.
After leaving Sam in the garden, I’d spent a few more days at Sublime, recovering my strength and learning to control my newfound, unwanted power. The chief asked me to stay longer, but I’d packed up my things and moved back into my apartment. I couldn’t face Sam, and I didn’t want to learn about my power. I just wanted it to go away. I just wanted things to return to normal. I wanted to go back to the good ole days when people hated me for killing Tornado, and I was toiling away on the society beat.
I took a swig from the glass. In a way, things had returned to normal. I’d put everything back into place in my apartment, and the chief had hypnotized his officers and the editors at The Exposé into forgetting about Morgana’s frame-up of me. I’d even resumed my duties on the society beat, although I was keeping a low profile. The newspaper was in quite an uproar. Lulu had more than kept her word. A few hours after I went into the ice cream factory, the computer whiz had leaked Malefica’s real identity to the press, much to the chagrin of the editors at The Exposé. Given the fact Morgana Madison hadn’t been seen or heard from in over a month, the editors had been forced to run the story and admit their conquering hero was an ubervillain. One who was missing in action. I bought every copy of the newspaper I could get my hands on and pasted them up all over my apartment. I didn’t know if Malefica was alive or not, but her cover as Morgana Madison had been completely blown. To my complete and utter delight.
Tonight, I was at the annual holiday ball hosted by the performing arts center. Another night, another society benefit, another glass of flat champagne. My eyes roamed the crowd. All the usual suspects were in attendance.
Except Sam Sloane.
The broken pieces of my heart twisted in my chest. Sam had been noticeably absent from the society scene lately. I hadn’t seen him since I left Sublime, although he starred in my feverish dreams every night. There, he would come to me, kiss me, make passionate love to me. All the while, Sam would whisper that he loved me for me—not for my new powers. Every morning, I woke up smooching my pillow and murmuring how much I loved him in return. My heart shattered all over again when I realized that it wasn’t real. That Sam wasn’t there beside me.
That he didn’t love me.
I was torn between wanting to see Sam and glad I didn’t have to face him. I certainly didn’t want to see him with some skinny, perfect supermodel hanging on to his arm. And I didn’t want to do something foolish, like throw myself at him and beg him to love me for me.
I stared into the crowd once more. This time, though, I concentrated. Waves of power shimmered to life, and the room erupted with color. Every person radiated his or her own unique shade. More often than not, the color, the feel of the waves corresponded to someone’s personality. Blues often indicated a strong, take-charge soul, while greens were usually caring, compassionate people. Whites tended to be shy, retiring types, while reds, yellows, and oranges almost always surrounded loud, boisterous extroverts. In a way, it was almost like looking at someone’s karma.
I quit concentrating. The waves vanished, and the colors faded. I sighed. Every so often I tested out my power, hoping it had deserted me. Hoping it had gone away. It hadn’t, and it never would.
I gave my empty glass to a passing waiter. I’d already gotten quotes for my story. Time to leave. I turned and smacked into someone.
“Oh! Excuse me. I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize, Carmen,” Fiona purred.
Fiona had been trying to corner me at every society benefit this week. So far I’d been able to avoid her. I could spot her heat signature a hundred feet away, but I’d been too depressed and distracted to watch out for her tonight.
“So, how are things?” Fiona asked, her blue eyes wide and curious. She was trying to look all sweet and innocent. She didn’t fool me for a second.
“Fine. And you?”
“Well, I’m not so fine. Do you know why?”
I stared at Fiona’s flamboyant dress. “Because you’re wearing something that would make a peacock blush?”
Fiona sniffed and smoothed down the sequined ruffles on her colorful gown. “I’m going to chalk that comment up to your lack of fashion expertise. No, I’m not fine because Sam is not fine. All he does is mope around the house. He’s been a real sourpuss lately. It’s getting on my last nerve. I’m the one with the bad attitude, not him.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked in a guarded tone. I didn’t know what Fiona was up to.
“Because I think you should give Sam a call. He misses you.”
Sam missed me. For a moment, happiness flooded my body. Then, all my doubts and fears roared back to the surface. “I’ve got nothing to say to him.”
Fiona arched one of her perfect blond eyebrows. “I’d say the two of you have lots to talk about. Didn’t you see him when Malefica dropped you into that tub of radioactive goo? He was frantic. Sam really does care about you, Carmen, whether you believe it or not.”
I glanced around to make sure no one was eavesdropping on us and lowered my voice. “Listen to me. I’m only going to say this once. I’m not a superhero. I never will be. And that’s what Sam really wants. He doesn’t want me. He doesn’t care about me. He just wants to add another member to the team.”
“Oh come on,” Fiona snapped. Her blond hair shimmered. “Wake up and smell the champagne, Carmen. Sam wants you. He doesn’t care about your powers at all. For some reason I can’t fathom, he actually cares about you.”
“Even if he did, and that’s a very big if, we could never be together.” A sour, bitter taste filled my mouth.
“Why the hell not? You’ve been together plenty of times already.”
“I’m not talking about sex,” I snapped. “I mean we couldn’t ever have a real, lasting relationship. There’s too much bad karma between us.”
“Like what?”
I threw up my hands. I’d only been talking to Fiona two minutes, and she had already exasperated me. “I’m talking about the fact I used to expose superheroes for a living. I’m talking about the fact my relationships with men, especially superheroes, never work out. I’m talking about the fact I almost got you all killed.” I drew in a deep breath. “And then there’s the biggie—Travis’s death.”
Sadness filled Fiona’s eyes.
“Despite what Malefica said, I’m the reason he’s dead. I led her straight to him.”
“I miss Travis. I always will. But Malefica’s the one responsible. She killed him, Carmen, not you. Even I see that now. I don’t blame you anymore.”
I arched an eyebrow.
“Well, maybe just a little bit,” Fiona admitted. “We’ll never be best friends, but I can tolerate your presence now— for Sam’s sake.”
“Gee, thanks for the ringing endorsement.”
Fiona glared at me. This time, though, my temperature didn’t shoot up. I used the energy waves in the room to buffer myself from Fiona’s heated gaze. There were some advantages to having superpowers.
Finally, I looked away. I was tired. So tired of everything. “Why are you telling me this? You don’t even like me.”
Fiona shrugged. “I want Sam to be happy, and you seem to make him happy. Give him a chance, Carmen, that’s all I’m asking.” She turned on her high heel and flounced away. The ruffles on her dress floated around her like butterflies.
All I could do was watch her leave and try to squash the sudden hope that flared up in my shattered heart.
I went back to the newspaper and wrote my story. I waited for the usual e-mail response, packed up my things, and left. I passed Henry’s empty desk on the way out. He’d been spending less and less of his spare time at the office and more and more of it with Lulu. I was glad the computer whiz wasn’t in his chair. I didn’t need another superhero telling me how to run my life.
I pulled on my jacket and stepped outside. After the attack, I’d tried to avoid walking home alone late at night. I wasn’t afraid of being raped or mugged now. Funny what being dropped into a vat of radioactive waste did for your courage.
I ambled down the streets and brooded. I thought about Sam and the Fearless Five and Sam and Sam some more. I’d been so hurt by Matt. Did I want to take a chance on having my heart broken by another superhero? One who seemed to want my powers just as much as he wanted me? Suddenly, my inner voice screeched.
“Help! Somebody please help me!” a woman’s voice rang out.
Somebody was in trouble. I picked up my pace. I turned a corner and found a young woman with her back pressed against the wall. Three men stood in front of the woman, who clutched her purse over her chest.
“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” I shouted.
One of the men glanced over his shoulder. I froze. It was the same man who had tried to rape me all those weeks ago. The same man Striker had reduced to a pile of mush. Why the hell was he walking around free as a bird? Maybe he’d taken up the bad ubervillain habit of not staying in prison more than a few days before busting out.
“Well, well, sweet stuff. How are tricks?” the man crooned. He grinned, and I noticed he was missing some of his gold-capped teeth. “Look’s like we’re going to get two for the price of one tonight, boys.”
The men laughed. I took a breath to calm my nerves.
Striker wasn’t going to swoop in and save me this time. I’d have to do it myself. The leader walked toward me, and I concentrated on him just the way Chief Newman had taught me. Slowly but surely, I spotted wavy lines of psychic energy emanating from his body. Black waves. Just like his soul.
The man drew closer, and I reached for the waves. He put his hand on my chest and drew me toward him. I ducked under the man’s body and used his own power to flip him over my shoulder. He hit the sidewalk with a satisfying thud.
Another one of the men came at me. I tapped into his psychic energy and threw him back against the wall. The men shook off their injuries and came at me again. Once more, I used their own power to propel them back into the wall. They slammed against it so hard that bits of crumbled brick broke off. Dust thickened the air. The men staggered to their feet and lunged at me. For the third time, I sent them flying through the air. This time, they didn’t get up.
The other man, seeing what I had done to his two companions, ran away.
I stepped over the groaning men toward the woman. “Are you okay?”
“I—I—I think so. How did you do that? It was amazing!” The woman’s eyes were as big and round as marbles.
“Um, well, I take, um, karate lessons. Karate is all about using your opponent’s strength against him.”
“You saved me. You’re my hero.” The woman pumped my hand like she was meeting a rock star. “How can I ever thank you?”
“Call the police and report the men. I bet you’re not the first woman they’ve attacked. And don’t walk down the street by yourself at night. This neighborhood is dangerous.
You’re just asking for trouble when you do that.” Said the voice of experience. Me.
“I will, and I won’t. Thanks again.” The woman whipped out her cell phone.
She dialed 911. I ducked around the corner and hid in the shadows until I saw the flashing lights of a police car. Once the officer approached the woman, I eased down the street. I had no desire to be identified as the Good Samaritan and explain how I took out two men with my bare hands and scared another one away. My karate story wouldn’t cut it with the cops.
“Nicely done, although I would have stuck around for the TV cameras. It’s always good to remind people just how noble and heroic you are,” a low, male voice murmured behind me.
I shrieked and whirled around, ready to do battle once more. To my surprise, Swifte stood behind me. I hadn’t even heard the speedy superhero approach.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, wary.
“Nothing much. Just doing my usual patrols. I heard the woman scream and zipped over.” Swifte eyed me. “And you were on the scene.”
I froze. Had Swifte seen me take out those goons? Had he seen me use powers? Oh God, was he going to expose me as I’d exposed so many superheroes? For a moment, I couldn’t breathe. That’d be some karmic retribution all right.
“Yeah. I got lucky.” I made my voice light and cheery, as though I tackled would-be rapists every day. “I’ve been taking karate lessons, you see.”
“Karate. Right.” Swifte started to lean against the side of the building, but thought better of it, given his shimmering white suit. “What you did back there looked like superpowers to me. Some sort of fancy telekinesis or something.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” When caught, deny all knowledge.
“Of course you don’t,” he said.
We stood there in silence. Finally, Swifte spoke again.
“There’s been a lot of talk about you lately, Carmen. The incident at the ice cream factory is all that anyone can think about these days.”
My mouth dropped open. “How do you know about that?” Nobody in the media had any idea what had really happened at the factory. Even SNN hadn’t broken the story. Police officials, including Chief Newman, had blamed the explosion on gas leaks.
“Word gets around. Most of us superheroes know how you saved the Fearless Five and that Malefica was really the one who killed Tornado. You’re no longer public enemy number one among the crowd.”
“Word gets around? Or just you?”
Swifte smiled, and his greenish eyes glittered. “Both. But it was good of you, saving that woman. Who knows? Maybe I’ll see you around again. Your karate skills would come in quite handy in certain organizations in Bigtime. I hear the Fearless Five have an opening. But you already know that, don’t you, Carmen?”
I opened my mouth to deny once again that I had any sort of superpowers or connection to the Fearless Five, but Swifte sped off before I formed the first syllable. Damn, he was fast.
I did the same. I scurried through the deserted streets to my apartment, shut the door behind me, and locked it. I sank down onto the sofa and stared into space. The enormity of what had just happened hit me. My hands trembled. My knees quivered. I’d just used my power to save someone else. I’d acted like, well, a superhero. Reckless and daring and unconcerned for my own safety. One false move, one lucky shot from those men, and I could have been raped or worse along with that other woman. But I hadn’t been thinking about myself. All that had concerned me was saving her. Making sure she didn’t get hurt.
It had felt good, right, like what I was supposed to do with my life.
It felt like karma.
My karma had lightened in recent days. It had gone from deep black to a misty shade of gray. Even though Malefica had been the one who had murdered Tornado, I would always feel a deep sense of guilt, of responsibility for his death. After all, if I hadn’t exposed him, then Malefica would never have been able to target him. My inner voice whispered a surprising thought to me, one I had never considered before.
Perhaps this was a way to atone for my many sins. To become the very thing I had vowed to destroy—a superhero. I let out a bitter laugh. Karma was funny that way. Just when you thought you had everything worked out, something totally unexpected happened. Like being dropped into a vat of radioactive liquid and getting superpowers.
But did having powers automatically make me a superhero? Was that all it took? I didn’t know the answer to that question.
All I knew was that I had to find out. One way or another.
I picked up the phone.
“Talk to me.”
I met Lulu the next day in our usual spot by the fountain in the park.
“Sister Carmen, it’s good to see you.”
“You too, Lulu. You too.”
We made small talk for a few moments. I smiled as Lulu gushed about what a great guy Henry was and how thrilled she was I had introduced the two of them.
“I knew you two would like each other,” I said in a smug voice.
“Really? How?”
“Oh, it was just a feeling that I had.” I wasn’t ready to tell Lulu my secret. Maybe someday, but not today. “By the way, I want to thank you for leaking the information about Malefica to the press. Everyone is having a field day with it. Morgana Madison can never show her face in this town again, if she’s even still alive.”
Lulu grinned. “It was my pleasure. I’m just glad that you’re all right. When I didn’t hear from you, I was a little concerned. Of course, if I’d known you’d gotten bonked in the head and that the Fearless Five had taken you in, I wouldn’t have worried quite so much.”
I winced. “Sorry about that. But in my defense, I was unconscious for over a week.”
“Just don’t let it happen again. Now, down to business. What can I do for you today, Sister Carmen?”
“I need you to find out where the Fearless Five are going to be tonight. Who’s on their to-get list.”
Lulu arched an eyebrow. “Why do I get a strange sense of déjà vu?”
“It’s not like that. I’m not going to expose them. I just want to . . . thank them for everything they’ve done for me. That’s all.” I crossed my heart. “I promise.”
“All right. Only because it’s you, and I need another reminder about the riding program put in the newspaper.”
“Consider it done,” I said.
Lulu’s fingers moved over her keyboard, reminding me of Henry. Documents and files flashed up on the screen and then disappeared just as quickly. I could have called up Henry or the chief and gotten the info myself, but I didn’t want them to know I was coming. I needed to be sure before I did anything drastic.
“Looks like the Five aren’t too happy with the Westsiders. They’re a bunch of gangbangers who run drugs and gambling. They’ve been trying to muscle in on the Southside crew’s turf since that big drug bust a couple of months ago. Some of them have some minor superpowers, but nothing the Fearless Five can’t handle. The Westsiders are having a little get-together tonight to elect a new head honcho. The last guy got gunned down last week. The Fearless Five might try to bust up the meeting.” Lulu rattled off an address.
I wrote it down. “Thanks, Lulu.”
“Anytime, Sister Carmen. Anytime.”
Lulu zoomed off to meet Henry for coffee, and I strolled through the thick pines to Bigtime Cemetery. Row 17. Plot 325. I made my way to Travis aka Tornado Teague’s grave. Sun bounced off the white marble, which shimmered like a star.
“Well, I suppose you know why I’m here. I’ve decided to give this superhero thing a whirl. I’ll never be as good as you, but I have to try.”
A bee buzzed by, and a flock of pigeons cooed nearby. A chipmunk skittered up a tree.
“I’m sorry for what I did to you. For what Malefica did. If I’d known, well, things would have been different. But I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you and the Fearless Five. I’m going to be the best superhero I can be. I swear.”
Travis’s ghost didn’t appear to tell me I was doing the right thing. No triumphant music played. Lightning didn’t crisscross the sky. I didn’t even get a warm, fuzzy glow.
But my heart felt a little lighter, my karma a little brighter. It was enough.
I said my goodbyes to Travis and walked back to my apartment to get ready for tonight. I did the usual routine. Shower, clothes, makeup. I stood in front of the dresser in the bedroom and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. My eyes fell on my jewelry box, and my inner voice murmured.
I unlocked the bottom drawer and pulled out the engagement ring Matt had given to me once upon a time. It was a square diamond set in a gold band. I held it up to the light and turned it around. The ring looked smaller than I remembered. Dimmer. It didn’t hurt me to look at it, as it once had. Matt and I had had some good times, before the end. I would remember those.
I put the ring back in the drawer, but I didn’t lock it away. I didn’t need to.
My heart belonged to Sam now. The superhero would take better care of it than Matt had.
I was counting on it.