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THREE HEADS ARE NOT BETTER THAN ONE

“I don’t suppose the water spell would work again?” Fenworth pulled at his beard. He’d taken his hat off and crumpled it into a wad.

“No, probably not,” agreed Librettowit.

Kale crouched between the tumanhofer and a wall of stone. Two bulky boulders protected her and the wizard and his librarian from the three-headed monster raging along the mountain path. Kale’s eyes darted back and forth between the menacing beast and the two old men. She searched the outside area for the mysterious woman and could not find her. The giant lizardlike creature paced around in a ponderous circle, preventing any of the travelers from getting past.

Fenworth sat at the rear of their little refuge. He continued to stroke his long gray beard with one hand and clutch his hat with the other. His beard took on the look of swamp moss, and leaves sprouted from his robes. “Fire spell?”

“Too unpredictable.”

“Shriveling?”

“Takes too long.”

Impatient with their conversation, Kale pulled out her small sword and repositioned herself on her knees so she could peer out beside Librettowit and watch the beast. Her fingers tightened around the hilt until her knuckles shone white. She forced her hand to relax and took several deep breaths. She set about locating each of her comrades.

Leetu had scrambled to a perch above them beyond the monster’s reach. She straddled an odd bush growing out from the cliff and shot arrows down upon the angry creature. They penetrated its skin and stuck out like quills. Brackish blood drizzled from each wound, but the arrows did not hinder its movements.

The beast roared and charged Kale. She and Librettowit fell back as one of the monster’s heads abruptly stopped outside their hiding place. The thing prodded at the boulders with its snout, but the small opening prevented it from thrusting any closer.

Kale sucked air into her mouth with a hiss as she tried to pull herself into a shadow as far from the opening as she could get. A long, skinny black tongue flicked out of the head’s mouth and explored the crevice. The wizard, the tumanhofer, and the o’rant girl cowered, pressing their backs against the rock wall. In desperation, Kale jabbed with her sword and nicked it. The tongue jerked back with a slurping sound, and the head moved away from their shelter.

“One should never,” said Fenworth, sternly, “transport any monster in the confines of an egg shell. Being cramped like that makes it cranky.”

Another head hovered over the opening in the rocks near Kale and Librettowit. Kale braced her feet apart in a fighting stance, took a firm grip on her sword, and sliced deliberately as the tongue snaked in. The end of the monster’s tongue fell at her feet and writhed there. With a squeal that did not sound a bit like a soldier, Kale backed away from it as if it were a serpent. Librettowit grabbed the ugly thing and threw it out of their hiding hole.

“This is not a librarian’s job,” he complained. “This has nothing to do with books and research.”

While Fenworth muttered about spells—wet, dry, cold, hot—Kale peered over the boulders, trying to locate the other members of their quest. One monster head moved close to a ledge littered with small boulders. A sudden flash of light sent it snapping back.

At least one kimen is in there.

Kale saw the third head plunge downward. She screeched as Lee Ark darted from one rock to another. Hideous teeth snatched at his back. Dar’s trumpet blasted the air. At that precise moment, Brunstetter jumped out and drove his long sword into the monster’s neck beneath the jawbone. All three beast heads howled. The wounded one continued to bellow. Then that head and neck fell limply to the ground. Now as the monster moved, it had to drag the lifeless portion along.

Fenworth had risen and crouched beside Kale.

“No more heroics.” She heard him mindspeak to them all. “Just be patient a minute. I’ve almost got a handle on this calcification spell.”

It’s about time! The thought sprang up in her mind, and she jerked around to see if it had been heard by the old wizard. His frown seemed to be for his concentration on the deed at hand. He didn’t seem to notice her at all. Kale breathed a sigh of relief, but none of the tension left her body.

The beast still trudged back and forth, and it knew where each of the members of the quest hid. Frustrated, it growled and made passes at the rocks with the two remaining heads. One head came at Kale again, and she backed up, raising her sword. Instead of flicking its tongue in the space above the boulders, it rammed its massive head against the rocks. The blow shook their little stronghold. Dirt and grit showered down on them, covering their clothing and hair with dust.

Kale looked over to see Librettowit and Fenworth whispering to each other and casually brushing dust off their heads. She gritted her teeth.

Will he have that spell ready in time?

The creature moved off toward Lee Ark’s sheltering rocks. Kale watched. The third head dragged the ground. The beast stumbled and struggled. His movements seemed more encumbered than just from the fallen head.

“His tail is turning gray,” she reported to the men behind her.

Librettowit rose to spy over the boulders.

“It’s turning to rock. Good job, Fen, but how about starting at the other end. It would be nice to have those disgusting heads turn to stone first.”

Fenworth ran his hand over the top of his head. Kale noticed for the first time a bald spot right on the crown, surrounded by the long fringe of gray hair. The wizard’s fingertips made a circular motion on the exposed scalp.

“Let’s see, that would require a number of adjustments…Yes, it could be done.”

“Never mind,” said Librettowit. “The process ceased while you were contemplating the change. Just go on. The beast will quit moving as soon as you get to the legs.”

Librettowit gave a yelp of approval. “That’s the way. That last bit charged up the remainder of his tail. He’s hauling around a city building’s worth of stone on his backside. Oops! That seems to have irritated the fellow.”

Two roars competed in ferocity. One of the heads reached over and nipped the other. Kale held her breath as she watched the hind legs pause, stiffen, and then change color from green to gray.

“Be a little quicker, will you, Fen?” said Librettowit. “The thing is going to suffer now.” He turned his head away.

“Right,” said Wizard Fenworth and closed his eyes to concentrate.

Kale turned away too. Then she covered her ears as the beast moaned. She welcomed the silence a moment later and looked back to the mountain path. A stone statue stood with one head hanging over the cliff edge. The two upright necks twined around each other and bent back along the creature’s spine.

Dar, Lee Ark, and Brunstetter cautiously came out of their hiding places. Leetu began her descent, and the kimens skittered across the open space to stand with Kale as she emerged.

“Well, then.” Fenworth climbed awkwardly over the rocks. Lee Ark and Kale moved to help him.

He crammed his hat back on his head and dusted off his robes. Then he slapped his palms together, knocking off the dirt.

“That was an uncomfortable situation. Warned you, didn’t I? Quests are quite interesting except for the uncomfortable parts. I don’t suppose that unpleasant woman is still here.” He looked around, even stretching to stand on his toes and peer beyond the monster. “A female wizard. Didn’t recognize her, but I suspect she was that Burner Stox woman. Married Crim Copper. Beastly wizard. Can’t say they get along at all well.”

The others began to move. Kale felt as if she had awakened from a bad dream. A giggle bubbled up in her throat, and she repressed it, knowing the others would count it for just what it was, nerves. She watched as Leetu picked up the few arrows that had bounced off the monster when it was still alive to threaten their lives.

The arrows stuck in its hide were stone now.

Dar rejoiced that his pack had not been trodden upon. Brunstetter and the kimens quickly gathered more of the scattered belongings and brought them to the wizard.

“My walking stick.” With one finger, Fenworth patted Seezle on the shoulder. “Thank you, my dear.”

He glanced up at the monstrous statue. “You know, I really think we must be going. I can’t remember if this spell holds or not.”

Kale had no problem with clearing out of the vicinity of the solidified creature. Lee Ark again took the lead, and the rest followed. Minutes later they heard a grinding crunch, and then a massive shudder vibrated under their feet.

“Crumbles,” said Fenworth. “I remember now. Crumbles. Good thing we weren’t standing under it. Wit, you’re going to have to explain to your kinsmen why one of their mountain passes is now filled with rubble. Should sit better with them, coming from one of their own.”

“Right,” said the tumanhofer, nodding his head and glowering.

“Perhaps you could write a history of the occurrence,” suggested the wizard.

“I’m a librarian. I read books. I don’t write—”

“Hmm? Well, then. Tut-tut. I could—”

“I’ll see to it, Fenworth.”