Huddling
Place
By Clifford D. Simak
The drizzle
sifted from the leaden skies, like smoke drifting through the bare-branched
trees. It softened the hedges and hazed the outlines of the buildings and
blotted out the distance. It glinted on the metallic skins of the silent robots
and silvered the shoulders of the three humans listening to the intonations of
the black-garbed man, who read from the book cupped between his hands.
"For
I am the Resurrection and the Life-"
The
moss-mellowed graven figure that reared above the door of the crypt seemed
straining upwards, every crystal of its yearning body reaching towards
something that no one else could see. Straining as it had strained since that
day of long ago when men had chipped it from the granite to adorn the family
tomb with a symbolism that had pleased the first John J. Webster in the last
years he held of life.
"And
whosoever liveth and believeth in Me-"
Jerome A.
Webster felt his son's fingers tighten on his arm, heard the muffled sobbing of
his mother, saw the lines of robots standing rigid, heads bowed in respect to
the master they had served. The master who now was going home-to the final home
of all.
Numbly,
Jerome A. Webster wondered if they understood-if they understood life and
death-if they understood what it meant that Nelson F. Webster lay there in the
casket, that a man with a book intoned words above him.
Nelson F.
Webster, fourth of the line of Websters who had lived on these acres, had lived
and died here, scarcely leaving, and now was going to his final rest in that
place the first of them had prepared for the rest of them-for that long line of
shadowy descendants who would live here and cherish the things and the ways and
the life that the first John J. Webster had established.
Jerome A.
Webster felt his jaw muscles tighten, felt a little tremor run across his body.
For a moment his eyes burned and the casket blurred in his sight and the words
the man in black was saying were one with the wind that whispered in the pines
standing sentinel for the dead. Within his brain remembrance
marched-remembrance of a grey-haired man stalking the hills and fields,
sniffing the breeze of an early morning, standing, legs braced, before the
flaring fireplace with a glass of brandy in his hand.
Pride-the
pride of land and life, and the humility and greatness that quiet living breeds
within a man. Contentment of casual leisure and surety of purpose. Independence
of assured security, comfort of familiar surroundings, freedom of broad acres.
Thomas
Webster was joggling his elbow. "Father," he was whispering.
"Father."
The service
was over. The black-garbed man had closed his book. Six robots stepped forward,
lifted the casket.
Slowly the
three followed the casket into the crypt, stood silently as the robots slid it
into its receptacle, closed the tiny door and affixed the plate that read:
NELSON F.
WEBSTER
2034-2117
That was
all. Just the name and dates. And that, Jerome A. Webster found himself
thinking, was enough. There was nothing else that needed to be there. That was
all those others had. The ones that called the family roll-starting with
William Stevens, 1920-1999. Gramp Stevens, they had called him, Webster
remembered. Father of the wife of that first John J. Webster, who was here
himself-195l-2020. And after him his son, Charles F. Webster, 1980-2060. And
his son, John J. II, 2004-2086. Webster could remember John J. II-a grandfather
who had slept beside the fire with his pipe hanging from his mouth, eternally
threatening to set is whiskers aflame.
Webster's
eyes strayed to another plate, Mary Webster, the mother of the boy here at his
side. And yet not a boy. He kept forgetting that Thomas was twenty now, in a
week or so would be leaving for Mars, even as in his younger days he, too, had
gone to Mars.
All here
together, he told himself. The Websters and their wives and children. Here in
death together as they had lived together, sleeping in the pride and security
of bronze and marble with the pines outside and the symbolic figure above the
age-greened door.
The robots
were waiting, standing silently, their task fulfilled.
His mother
looked at him.
"You're
head of the family now, my son," she told him.
He reached
out and hugged her close against his side. Head of the family-what was left of
it. Just the three of them now. His mother and his son. And his son would be
leaving soon, going out to Mars. But he would come back. Come back with a wife,
perhaps, and the family would go on. The family wouldn't stay at three. Most of
the big house wouldn't stay closed off, as it now was closed off. There had
been a time when it had rung with the life of a dozen units of the family,
living in their separate apartments under one big roof. That time, he knew,
would come again.
The three
of them turned and left the crypt, took the path back to the house, looming
like a huge grey shadow in the mist.
A fire
blazed in the hearth and the book lay upon his desk. Jerome A. Webster reached
out and picked it up, read the title once again:
Martian
Physiology, With Especial Reference to the Brain, by Jerome A. Webster, M.D.
Thick and
authoritative-the work of a lifetime. Standing almost alone in its field. Based
upon the data gathered during those five plague years on Mars-years when he had
laboured almost day and night with his fellow colleagues of the World
Committee's medical commission, dispatched on an errand of mercy to the
neighbouring planet.
A tap
sounded on the door.
"Come
in," he called.
The door
opened and a robot glided in.
"Your
whisky, sir."
"Thank
you, Jenkins," Webster said.
"The
minister, sir," said Jenkins, "has left."
"Oh,
yes. I presume that you took care of him."
"I
did, sir. Gave him the usual fee and offered him a drink. He refused the
drink."
"That
was a social error," Webster told him. "Ministers don't drink."
"I'm
sorry, sir. I didn't know. He asked me to ask you to come to church
sometime."
"I
told him, sir, that you never went anywhere."
"That
was quite right, Jenkins," said Webster. "None of us ever go
anywhere."
Jenkins
headed for the door, stopped before he got there, turned around. "If I may
say so, sir, that was a touching service at the crypt. Your father was a fine
human, the finest ever was. The robots were saying the service was very
fitting. Dignified like, sir. He would have liked it had he known."
"My
father," said Webster, "would be even more pleased to hear you say
that, Jenkins."
"Thank
you, sir," said Jenkins, and went out.
Webster sat
with the whisky and the book and the fire-felt the comfort of the well-known
room close in about him, felt the refuge that was in it.
This was
home. It had been home for the Websters since that day when the first John J.
had come here and built the first unit of the sprawling house. John J. had
chosen it because it had a trout stream, or so he always said. But it was
something more than that. It must have been, Webster told himself, something
more than that.
Perhaps, at
first, it had only been the trout stream. The trout stream and the trees and
meadows, the rocky ridge where the mist drifted in each morning from the river.
Maybe the rest of it had grown, grown gradually through the years, through
years of family association until the very soil was soaked with something that
approached, but wasn't quite, tradition. Something that made each tree, each
rock, each foot of soil a Webster tree or rock or clod of soil. It all
belonged.
John J.,
the first John J., had come after the break-up of the cities, after men had
forsaken, once and for all, the twentieth century huddling places, had broken
free of the tribal instinct to stick together in one cave or in one clearing
against a common foe or a common fear. An instinct that had become outmoded,
for there were no fears or foes. Man revolting against the herd instinct
economic and social conditions had impressed upon him in ages past. A new
security and a new sufficiency had made it possible to break away.
The trend
had started back in the twentieth century, more than two hundred years before,
when men moved to country homes to get fresh air and elbow room and a
graciousness in life that communal existence, in its strictest sense, never had
given them.
And here
was the end result. A quiet living. A peace that could only come with good
things. The sort of life that men had yearned for years to have. A manorial
existence, based on old family homes and leisurely acres, with atomics
supplying power and robots in place of serfs.
Webster
smiled at the fireplace with its blazing wood. That was an anachronism, but a
good one-something that Man had brought forward from the caves. Useless,
because atomic heating was better-but more pleasant. One couldn't sit and watch
atomics and dream and build castles in the flames.
Even the
crypt out there, where they had put his father that afternoon. That was family,
too. All of a piece with the rest of it. The sombre pride and leisured life and
peace. In the old days the dead were buried in vast plots all together,
stranger cheek by jowl with stranger- He never goes anywhere.
That is
what Jenkins had, told the minister.
And that
was right. For what need was there to go anywhere? It all was here. By simply
twirling a dial one could talk face to face with anyone one wished, could go,
by sense, if not in body, anywhere one wished. Could attend the theatre or hear
a concert or browse in a library half-way around the world. Could transact any
business one might need to transact without rising from one's chair.
Webster
drank the whisky, then swung to the dialled machine beside his desk.
He spun
dials from memory without resorting to the log. He knew where he was going.
His finger
flipped a toggle and the room melted away-or seemed to melt. There was left the
chair within which he sat, part of the desk, part of the machine itself and
that was all.
The chair
was on a hillside swept with golden grass and dotted with scraggly,
wind-twisted trees, a hillside that straggled down to a lake nestling in the
grip of purple mountain spurs. The spurs, darkened in long streaks with the
bluish-greens of distant pine, climbed in staggering stairs, melting into the
blue-tinged snow-capped peaks that reared beyond and above them in jagged
saw-toothed outline.
The wind
talked harshly in the crouching trees and ripped the long grass in sudden
gusts. The last rays of the sun struck fire from the distant peaks.
Solitude
and grandeur, the long sweep of tumbled land, the cuddled lake, the knife-like
shadows on the far-off ranges.
Webster sat
easily in his chair, eyes squinting at the peaks.
A voice
said almost at his shoulder: "May I come in?"
A soft,
sibilant voice, wholly unhuman. But one that Webster knew.
He nodded
his head. "By all means, Juwain." He turned slightly and saw the
elaborate crouching pedestal, the furry, soft-eyed figure of the Martian
squatting on it. Other alien furniture loomed indistinctly beyond the pedestal,
half guessed furniture from that dwelling out on Mars.
The Martian
flipped a furry hand towards the mountain range.
"You
love this," he said. "You can understand it. And I can understand how
you understand it, but to me there is more terror than beauty in it. It is
something we could never have on Mars."
Webster
reached out a hand, but the Martian stopped him. "Leave it on," he
said. "I know why you came here. I would not have come at a time like this
except I thought perhaps an old friend-"
"It is
kind of you," said Webster. "I am glad that you have come."
"Your
father," said Juwain, "was a great man. I remember how you used to
talk to me of him, those years you spent on Mars. You said then you would come
back sometime. Why is it you've never come?"
"Why,"
said Webster, "I just never-"
"Do
not tell me," said the Martian. "I already know."
"My
son," said Webster, "is going to Mars in a few days. I shall have him
call on you."
"That
would be a pleasure," said Juwain. "I shall be expecting him."
He stirred
uneasily on the crouching pedestal. "Perhaps he carries on
tradition."
"No,"
said Webster. "He is studying engineering. He never cared for
surgery."
"He
has a right," observed the Martian, "to follow the life that he has
chosen. Still, one might be permitted to wish."
"One
could," Webster agreed. "But that is over and done with. Perhaps he
will be a great engineer. Space structure. Talks of ships out to the
stars."
"Perhaps,"
suggested Juwain, "your family has done enough for medical science. You
and your father-"
"And
his father," said Webster, "before him."
"Your
book," declared Juwain, "has put Mars in debt to you. It may focus
more attention on Martian specialization. My people do not make good doctors.
They have no background for it. Queer how the minds of races run. Queer that
Mars never thought of medicine-literally never thought of it. Supplied the need
with a cult of fatalism. While even in your early history, when men still lived
in caves-"
"There
are many things," said Webster, "that you thought of and we didn't.
Things we wonder now how we ever missed. Abilities that you developed and we do
not have. Take your own speciality, philosophy. But different than ours. A
science, while ours never was more than ordered fumbling. Yours an orderly,
logical development of philosophy, workable, practical, applicable, an actual
tool."
Juwain
started to speak, hesitated, then went ahead. "I am near to something,
something that may be new and startling. Something that will be a tool for you
humans as well as for the Martians. I've worked on it for years, starting with
certain mental concepts that first were suggested to me with arrival of the
Earthmen. I have said nothing, for I could not be sure."
"And
now," suggested Webster, "you are sure."
"Not
quite," said Juwain. "Not positive. But almost."
They sat in
silence, watching the mountains and the lake. A bird came and sat in one of the
scraggly trees and sang. Dark clouds piled up behind the mountain ranges and
the snow-tipped peaks stood out like graven stone. The sun sank in a lake of
crimson, hushed finally to the glow of a fire burned low.
A tap
sounded from a door and Webster stirred in his chair, suddenly brought back to
the reality of the study, of the chair beneath him.
Juwain was
gone. The old philosopher had come and sat an hour of contemplation with his
friend and then had quietly slipped away.
The rap
came again.
Webster
leaned forward, snapped the toggle and the mountains vanished; the room became
a room again. Dusk filtered through the high windows and the fire was a rosy
flicker in the ashes.
"Come
in," said Webster.
Jenkins
opened the door. "Dinner is served, sir," he said.
"Thank
you," said Webster. He rose slowly from the chair.
"Your
place, sir," said Jenkins, "is laid at the head of the table."
"Ah,
yes," said Webster. "Thank you, Jenkins. Thank you very much, for
reminding me."
Webster
stood on the broad ramp of the space field and watched the shape that dwindled
in the sky with faint flickering points of red lancing through the wintry
sunlight.
For long
minutes after the shape was gone he stood there, hands gripping the railing in
front of him, eyes still staring up into the sky.
His lips
moved and they said: "Good-bye, son"; but there was no sound.
Slowly he
came alive to his surroundings. Knew that people moved about the ramp, saw that
the landing field seemed to stretch interminably to the far horizon, dotted
here and there with hump-backed things that were waiting spaceships. Scooting
tractors worked near one hangar, clearing away the last of the snowfall of the
night before.
Webster
shivered and thought that it was queer, for the noonday sun was warm. And
shivered again.
Slowly he
turned away from the railing and headed for the administration building. And
for one brain-wrenching moment he felt a sudden fear-an unreasonable and
embarrassing fear of that stretch of concrete that formed the ramp. A fear that
left him shaking mentally as he drove his feet towards the waiting door.
A man
walked towards him, briefcase swinging in his hand, and Webster, eyeing him,
wished fervently that the man would not speak to him.
The man did
not speak, passed him with scarcely a glance, and Webster felt relief.
If he were
back home, Webster told himself, he would have finished lunch, would now be
ready to lie down for his midday nap. The fire would be blazing on the hearth
and the flicker of the flames would be reflected from the andirons. Jenkins
would bring him a liqueur and would say a word or two-inconsequential
conversation.
He hurried
towards the door, quickening his step, anxious to get away from the bare-cold
expanse of the massive ramp.
Funny how
he had felt about Thomas. Natural, of course, that he should have hated to see
him go. But entirely unnatural that he should, in those last few minutes, find
such horror welling up within him. Horror of the trip through space, horror of
the alien land of Mars-although Mars was scarcely alien any longer. For more
than a century now Earthmen had known it, had fought it, lived with it; some of
them had even grown to love it.
But it had
only been utter will power that had prevented him, in those last few seconds
before the ship had taken off, from running out into the field, shrieking for
Thomas to come back, shrieking for him not to go.
And that,
of course, never would have done. It would have been exhibitionism, disgraceful
and humiliating-the sort of a thing a Webster could not do.
After all,
he told himself, a trip to Mars was no great adventure, not any longer. There
had been a day when it had been, but that day was gone for ever. He, himself,
in his earlier days had a made a trip to Mars, had stayed there for five long
years. That had been-he gasped when he thought of it-that had been almost
thirty years ago.
The babble
and hum of the lobby hit him in the face as the robot attendant opened the door
for him, and in that babble ran a vein of something that was almost terror. For
a moment he hesitated, then stepped inside. The door closed softly behind him.
He stayed
close to the wall to keep out of people's way, headed for a chair in one
corner. He sat down and huddled back, forcing his body deep into the cushions,
watching the milling humanity that seethed out in the room.
Shrill
people, hurrying people, people with strange, unneighbourly faces.
Strangers-every one of them. Not a face he knew. People going places. Heading
out for the planets. Anxious to be off. Worried about last details. Rushing
here and there.
Out of the
crowd loomed a familiar face. Webster hunched forward.
"Jenkins!"
he shouted, and then was sorry for the shout, although no one seemed to notice.
The robot
moved towards him, stood before him. "Tell Raymond," said Webster,
"that I must return immediately. Tell him to bring the 'copter in front at
once."
"I am
sorry, sir," said Jenkins, "but we cannot leave at once. The
mechanics found a flaw in the atomics chamber. They are installing a new one.
It will take several hours."
"Surely,"
said Webster, impatiently, "that could wait until some other time."
"The
mechanic said not, sir," Jenkins told him. "It might go at any
minute. The entire charge of power-"
"Yes,
yes," agreed Webster, "I suppose so."
He fidgeted
with his hat. "I just remembered," be said, "something I must
do. Something that must be done at once. I must get home. I can't wait several
hours."
He hitched
forward to the edge of the chair, eyes staring at the milling crowd.
Faces-faces-"Perhaps
you could televise," suggested Jenkins. "One of the robots might be
able to do it. There is a booth-"
"Wait,
Jenkins," said Webster. He hesitated a moment. "There is nothing to
do back home. Nothing at all. But I must get there. I can't stay here. If I
have to, I'll go crazy. I was frightened out there on the ramp. I'm bewildered
and confused here. I have, a feeling-a strange, terrible feeling. Jenkins,
I-"
"I
understand, sir," said Jenkins. "Your father had it, too."
Webster
gasped. "My father?"
"Yes,
sir, that is why he never went anywhere. He was about your age, sir, when he
found it out. He tried to make a trip to Europe and he couldn't. He got halfway
there and turned back. He had a name for it."
Webster sat
in stricken silence.
"A
name for it," he finally said. "Of course there's a name for it. My
father had it. My grandfather-did he have it, too?"
"I
wouldn't know that, sir," said Jenkins. "I wasn't created until after
your grandfather was an elderly man. But he may have. He never went anywhere, either."
"You
understand, then," said Webster. "You know how it is. I feel like I'm
going to be sick-physically ill. See if you can charter a 'copter-anything,
just so we get home."
"Yes,
sir," said Jenkins.
He started
off and Webster called him back.
"Jenkins,
does anyone else know about this? Anyone-"
"No,
sir," said Jenkins. "Your father never mentioned it and I felt,
somehow, that he wouldn't wish me to."
"Thank
you, Jenkins," said Webster.
Webster
huddled back into his chair again, feeling desolate and alone and misplaced.
Alone in a humming lobby that pulsed with life-a loneliness that tore at him,
that left him limp and weak.
Homesickness.
Downright, shameful homesickness, he told himself. Something that boys are
supposed to feel when they first leave home, when they first go out to meet the
world.
There was a
fancy word for it-agoraphobia, the morbid dread of being in the midst of open
spaces-from the Greek root for the fear-literally, of the market place.
If he
crossed the room to the television booth, he could put in a call, talk with his
mother or one of the robots-or, better yet, just sit and look at the place
until Jenkins came for him.
He started
to rise, then sank, back in the chair again. It was no dice. Just talking to
someone or looking in on the place wasn't being there. He couldn't smell the
pines in the wintry air, or hear familiar snow crunch on the walk beneath his
feet or reach out a hand and touch one of the massive oaks that grew along the
path. He couldn't feel the heat of the fire or sense the sure, deft touch of
belonging, of being one with a tract of ground and the things upon it.
And
yet-perhaps it would help. Not much, maybe, but some. He started to rise from
the chair again and froze. The few short steps to the booth held terror, a
terrible, overwhelming terror. If he crossed them, he would have to run. Run to
escape the watching eyes, the unfamiliar sounds, the agonizing nearness of
strange faces.
Abruptly he
sat down.
A woman's
shrill voice cut across the lobby and he shrank away from it. He felt terrible.
He felt like hell. He wished Jenkins would get a hustle on.
The first
breath of spring came through the window, filling the study with the promise of
melting snows, of coming leaves and flowers, of north-bound wedges of waterfowl
streaming through the blue, of trout that lurked in pools waiting for the fly.
Webster
lifted his eyes from the sheaf of papers on his desk, sniffed the breeze, felt
the cool whisper of it on his cheek. His hand reached out for the brandy glass,
found it empty, and put it back.
He bent
back above the papers once again, picked up a pencil and crossed out a word.
Critically,
he read the final paragraphs:
The fact
that of the two hundred and fifty men who were invited to visit me, presumably
on missions of more than ordinary importance, only three were able to come,
does not necessarily prove that all but those three are victims of agoraphobia.
Some may have had legitimate reasons for being unable to accept my invitation.
But it does indicate a growing unwillingness of men living under the mode of
Earth existence set up following the break-up of the cities to move from
familiar places, a deepening instinct to stay among the scenes and possessions
which in their mind have become associated with contentment and graciousness of
life.
What the
result of such a trend will be, no one can clearly indicate since it applies to
only a small portion of Earth's population. Among the larger families economic
pressure forces some of the sons to seek their fortunes either in other parts
of the Earth or on one of the other planets. Many others deliberately seek
adventure and opportunity in space while still others become associated with
professions or trades which made a sedentary existence impossible.
He flipped
the page over, went on to the last one.
It was a
good paper, he knew, but it could not be published, not just yet. Perhaps after
he had died. No one, so far as he could determine, had ever so much as realized
the trend, had taken as matter of course the fact that men seldom left their
homes. Why, after all, should they leave their homes?
Certain
dangers may be recognized in-.
The
televisor muttered at his elbow and he reached out to flip the toggle.
The room
faded and he was face to face with a man who sat behind a desk, almost as if he
sat on the opposite side of Webster's desk. A grey-haired man with sad eyes
behind heavy lenses.
For a
moment Webster stared, memory tugging at him.
"Could
it be-" he asked and the man smiled gravely.
"I
have changed," he said. "So have you. My name is Clayborne. Remember?
The Martian medical commission-"
"Clayborne!
I'd often thought of you. You stayed on Mars."
Clayborne
nodded. "I've read your book, doctor. It is a real contribution. I've
often thought one should be written, wanted to myself; but I didn't have the
time. Just as well I didn't. You did a better job. Especially on the
brain."
"The
Martian brain," Webster told him, "always intrigued me. Certain
peculiarities. I'm afraid I spent more of those five years taking notes on it
than I should have. There was other work to do."
"A
good thing you did," said Clayborne. "That's why I'm calling you now.
I have a patient-a brain operation. Only you can handle it."
Webster
gasped, his hands trembling. "You'll bring him here?"
Clayborne
shook his head. "He cannot be moved. You know him, I believe. Juwain, the
philosopher."
"Juwain!"
said Webster. "He's one of my best friends. We talked together just a
couple of days ago."
"The
attack was sudden," said Clayborne. "He's been asking for you."
Webster was
silent and cold-cold with a chill that crept upon him from some unguessed
place. Cold that sent perspiration out upon his forehead, that knotted his
fists.
"If
you start immediately," said Clayborn, "you can be here on time. I've
already arranged with the World Committee to have a ship at your disposal
instantly. The utmost speed is necessary."
"But,"
said Webster, "but... I cannot come."
"You
can't come!"
"It's
impossible," said Webster. "I doubt in any case that I am needed.
Surely, you yourself-"
"I
can't," said Clayborne. "No one can but you. No one else has the
knowledge. You hold Juwain's life in your hands. If you come, he lives. If you
don't, he dies."
"I
can't go into space," said Webster.
"Anyone
can go into space," snapped Clayborne. "It's not like it used to be.
Conditioning of any sort desired is available."
"But
you don't understand," pleaded Webster. "You-"
"No, I
don't," said Clayborne. "Frankly, I don't. That anyone should refuse
to save the life of his friend-"
The two men
stared at one another for a long moment, neither speaking.
"I
shall tell the committee to send the ship straight to your home," said
Clayborne finally. "I hope by that time you will see your way clear to
come."
Clayborne
faded and the wall came into view again-the wall and books, the fireplace and
the paintings, the well-loved furniture, the promise of spring that came
through the open window.
Webster sat
frozen in his chair, staring at the wall in front of him.
Juwain, the
furry, wrinkled face, the sibilant whisper, the friendliness and understanding
that was his. Juwain, grasping the stuff that dreams are made of and shaping
them into logic, into rules of life and conduct. Juwain using philosophy as a
tool, as a science, as a stepping stone to better living.
Webster
dropped his face into his hands and fought the agony that welled up within him.
Clayborne
had not understood. One could not expect him to understand since there was no
way for him to know. And even knowing, would he understand? Even he, Webster,
would not have understood it in someone else until he bad discovered it in
himself-the terrible fear of leaving his own fire, his own land, his own
possessions, the little symbolisms that he had erected. And yet, not he,
himself; alone, but those other Websters as well. Starting with the first John
J. Men and women who had setup a cult of life, a tradition of behaviour.
He, Jerome
A. Webster, had gone to Mars when he was a young man, and had not felt or
suspected the psychological poison that ran through his veins. Even as Thomas a
few months ago had gone to Mars. But thirty years of quiet life here in the
retreat that the Websters called a home had brought it forth, had developed it
without his even knowing it. There had, in fact, been no opportunity to know
it. It was clear how it had developed-clear as crystal now.
Habit and
mental pattern and a happiness association with certain things-things that had
no actual value in themselves, but had been assigned a value, a definite,
concrete value by one family through five generations.
No wonder
other places seemed alien, no wonder other horizons held a hint of horror in
their sweep.
And there
was nothing one could do about it-nothing, that is, unless one cut down every
tree and burned the house and changed the course of waterways. Even that might
not do it-even that- The televisor purred and Webster lifted his head from his
hands, reached out and thumbed the tumbler.
The room
became a flare of white, but there was no image.
A voice
said: "Secret call. Secret call."
Webster
slid back a panel in the machine, spun a pair of dials, heard the hum of power
surge into a screen that blocked out the room.
"Secrecy
established," he said.
The white
flare snapped out and a man sat across the desk from him. A man be had seen
many times before in televised addresses, in his daily paper.
Henderson,
president of the World Committee.
"I
have had a call from Clayborne," said Henderson.
Webster
nodded without speaking. "He tells me you refuse to go to Mars."
"I
have not refused," said Webster. "When Clayborne cut off the question
was left open. I had told him it was impossible for me to go, but he had
rejected that, did not seem to understand."
"Webster,
you must go," said Henderson. "You are the only man with the
necessary knowledge of the Martian brain to perform this operation, if it were
a simple operation, perhaps someone else could do it. But not one such as
this."
"That
may be true," said Webster, "but-"
"It's
not just a question of saving a life", said Henderson. "Even the life
of so distinguished a personage as Juwain. It involves even more than that.
Juwain is a friend of yours. Perhaps he hinted of something he has found."
"Yes,"
said Webster. "Yes, he did. A new concept of philosophy."
"A
concept," declared Henderson, "that we cannot do without. A concept
that will remake the solar system, that will put mankind ahead a hundred
thousand years in the space of two generations. A new direction of purpose that
will aim towards a goal we heretofore bad not suspected, bad not even known
existed A brand new truth, you see. One that never before had occurred to
anyone."
Webster's
hands gripped the edge of the desk until his knuckles stood out white.
"If
Juwain dies," said Henderson, "that concept dies with him. May be
lost forever."
"I'll
try," said Webster. "I'll try-"
Henderson's
eyes were hard. "Is that the best that you can do?"
"That
is the best," said Webster.
"But
man, you must have a reason! Some explanation."
"None,"
said Webster, "that I would care to give."
Deliberately
he reached out and flipped up the switch.
Webster sat
at the desk and held his hands in front of him, staring at them. Hands that had
skill, held knowledge. Hands that could save a life if he could get them to
Mars. Hands that could save for the solar system, for mankind, for the Martians
an idea-a new idea-that would advance them a hundred thousand years in the next
two generations.
But hands
chained by a phobia that grew out of this quiet life. Decadence-a strangely
beautiful-and deadly-decadence.
Man had
forsaken the teeming cities, the huddling places, two hundred years ago. He had
done with the old foes and the ancient fears that kept him around the common
camp fire, had left behind the hobgoblins that had walked with him from the
caves.
And yet-and
yet- Here was another huddling place. Not a huddling place for one's body, but
one's mind. A psychological campfire that still held a man within the circle of
its light.
Still,
Webster knew, he must leave that fire. As the men had done with the cities two
centuries before, he must walk off and leave it. And he must not look back.
He had to
go to Mars-or at least start for Mars. There was no question there, at all. He
had to go.
Whether he
would survive the trip, whether he could perform the operation once he had
arrived, he did not know. He wondered vaguely, whether agoraphobia could be
fatal. In its most exaggerated form, he supposed it could.
He reached
out a hand to ring, then hesitated. No use having Jenkins pack. He would do it
himself-something to keep him busy until the ship arrived.
From the
top shelf of the wardrobe in the bedroom, he took down a bag and saw that it
was dusty. He blew on it, but the dust still clung. It had been there for too
many years.
As he
packed, the room argued with him, talked in that mute tongue with which
inanimate but familiar things may converse with a man.
"You
can't go," said the room. "You can't go off and leave me."
And Webster
argued back, half pleading, half explanatory. "I have to go. Can't you
understand? It's a friend, an old friend. I will be coming back."
Packing
done, Webster returned to the study, slumped into his chair.
He must go
and yet he couldn't go. But when the ship arrived, when the time had come, he
knew that he would walk out of the house and towards the waiting ship.
He steeled
his mind to that, tried to set it in a rigid pattern, tried to blank out
everything but the thought that he was leaving.
Things in the
room intruded on his brain, as if they were part of a conspiracy to keep them
there. Things that he saw as if he were seeing them for the first time. Old,
remembered things that suddenly were new. The chronometer that showed both
Earthian and Martian time, the days of the month, the phases of the moon. The
picture of his dead wife on the desk. The trophy he had won at prep school. The
framed short snorter bill that had cost him ten bucks on his trip to Mars.
He stared
at them, half unwilling at first, then eagerly, storing up the memory of them
in his brain. Seeing them as separate components - of a room he had accepted
all these years as a finished whole, never realizing what, a multitude of
things went to make it up.
Dusk was
falling, the dusk of early spring, a dusk that smelled of early pussy willows.
The ship
should have arrived long ago. He caught himself listening for it, even as he
realized that he would not hear it. A ship, driven by atomic motors, was silent
except when it gathered speed. Landing and taking off, it floated like
thistledown, with not a murmur in it.
It would be
here soon. It would have to be here soon or he could never go. Much longer to
wait, he knew, and his high-keyed resolution would crumble like a mound of dust
in beating rain. Not much longer could he hold his purpose against the pleading
of the room, against the flicker of the fire, against the murmur of the land
where five generations of Websters had lived their lives and died.
He shut his
eyes and fought down the chill that crept across his body. He couldn't let it
get him now, he told himself. He had to stick it out. When the ship arrived he
still must be able to get up and walk out of the door to the waiting port.
A tap came
on the door.
"Come
in," Webster called.
It was
Jenkins, the light from the fireplace flickering on his shining metal hide.
"Had
you called earlier, sir?" he asked.
Webster
shook his bead.
"I was
afraid you might have," Jenkins explained, "and wondered why I didn't
come. There was a most extraordinary occurrence, sir. Two men came with a ship
and said they wanted you to go to Mars-"
"They
are here," said Webster. "Why didn't you call me?"
He
struggled to his feet.
"I
didn't think, sir," said Jenkins, "that you would want to be
bothered. It was so preposterous. I finally made them understand you could not
possibly want to go to Mars."
Webster
stiffened, felt chill fear gripping at his heart.
Hands
groping for the edge of the desk, he sat down in the chair, sensed the walls of
the room closing in about him, a trap that would never let him go.