I'm glad i ran into you, Paige," josh said.
  "Why?" Paige asked apprehensively. She
leaned back against the clammy brick wall of
P3's alley.
  "Because," Josh continued, leaning in. His voice
got deeper, almost robotic. And his face began
to change too, darkening into a sinister glower. Paige
could feel his breath-hot and fetid-gust onto her
face. "You've got my heart."
  Paige glanced down and saw Josh's hand reaching
toward her chest. His arm was shaking, as if infused with
some sort of electricity. And as his fingertips
brushed the bare skin above the low-cut bodice of her
dress, his nails instantly grew into glinting,
razorlike talons.
  In fact, his entire hand transformed into a
metallic, clawlike, lethal weapon.

  Charmed"
  The Power of Three Kiss of Darkness The
Crimson Spell Whispers from the Past Voodoo
Moon Haunted by Desire The Gypsy
Enchantment
  The Legacy of Merlin Soul of the Bride
Beware What You Wish Charmed Again Spirit of the
Wolf Garden of Evil Date with Death
  Published by Simon and Schuster

  DATE WITH DEATH
  An original novel by Elizabeth Lenhard
  Based on the hit TV series created by
  Constance M. Burge
  SIMON PULSE
  New York London Toronto Sydney
Singapore

  For Allison, Cathy, Jen, Rachel and
Reva
  If you purchased this book without a cover, you should
be aware that this book is stolen property. It was
reported as "unsold and destroyed" to the publisher,
and neither the author nor the publisher has received any
payment for this "stripped book."
  This book is a work of fiction. Any references
to historical events, real people, or real locales
are used fictitiously. Other names, characters,
places, and incidents are the product of the
author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual
events or locales or persons, living or dead,
is entirely coincidental.
  First Simon Pulse edition September

  *and [*copygg'2002 Spelling Television
Inc. All Rights Reserved.
  SIMON PULSE
  An imprint of Simon and Schuster Children's
Publishing Division 1230 Avenue of the
Americas New York, NY 10020
  All rights reserved, including the right of
reproduction in whole or in part in any form.
  The text of this book was set in Palatine
Printed in the United States of America 2468
10 97531 Library of Congress Control
Number 2002107164 ISBN 0-689-85078-6

  I'd like to thank Alice La Plante and
Clare La Plante, authors of Dear Saint
Anne, Send Me a Man: And Other
Time-Honored Prayers for Love (universe
Publishing, New York). There are many versions of
St. Catherine's tale floating around. The one I
found in the La Plantes' whimsical book
inspired this story.


  f sank into a chair at her favorite
  coffeehouse-City Drip.
  Man, she thought, taking a big slurp of her
grande Chai latte and glancing around the shabby-chic
joint, I haven't been in here in forever.
  Actually she hadn't been there since she
graduated from college. Back when she'd been a
student, Phoebe had been a part of the wallpaper
at City Drip. She'd set up camp at this
window-side table with her books and sketch pad and a
steady supply of caffeine. Occasionally she'd take
a break to pay attention to some dreadlocked and
disenchanted singer-songwriter strumming an acoustic
guitar in the corner. Or she'd check out the latest
really bad art for sale. If she got really
bored, San Francisco's coolest
neighborhood-Haight-Ashbury-was right outside
the door. A

  twenty-minute powershop and she'd be back at
work.
  When you think about it, she thought, I owe my
degree to this place.
  Phoebe rolled her eyes as she remembered
what a struggle college had been. It was weird
because her older sister, Piper, had been a total
smarty-pants-okay, let's face it, a nerd-in
high school. Now, she was an on-top-of-it-all
business owner, running their nightclub, P3.
Phoebe's younger sister, Paige, was also a bit
of a brainiac-or at least extremely driven-working
to save the world as an assistant at a child welfare
clinic. And then there was her late sister, Prue,
who'd been a studious art historian before branching
into photography.
  But book smarts had never been Phoebe's
bag. She'd taken a few classes during her
post high-school years in New York. Then, after
moving back to San Francisco to live with her
sisters, she'd bounced from job to job for a while, before
finally settling down and snagging her B.a. That is,
after logging in about a thousand hours at City Drip.
  And now, here I am again-hitting the books,
Phoebe thought, taking another spicy sip of Chai
and glaring at the reading she'd brought to the coffeehouse.
She sifted through the stack of super-thick tomes and
sighed.
  "Let's see," she muttered. "We've got
Contemporary Bride, Blushing Bride, and the
oh-so-classy Getting Hitched. Where to begin?"

  Phoebe grabbed Blushing Bride and opened it
up to an advertisement featuring several
sheepish-looking models in fluffy, lime green
bridesmaid's dresses.
  "Okay, moving on!" Phoebe whispered,
grabbing Contemporary Bride. The first article she
happened upon advised brides to include pressed
rose petals in the envelope of every
"Save-the-Date" card.
  Save-the-Date cards? Phoebe thought. I
didn't know about "Save-the-Date" cards! I
don't know if I can even get it together to send out
invitations. And now when I do, nobody will have saved
the date! There will be no wedding guests! My big
day-ruined!
  Phoebe slumped back in her chair and stared
gloomily out the window. The thing was, she had a
hard time thinking of her wedding day in a few months as
her "big day"! It wasn't that she didn't
absolutely adore her fiance, Cole. And
she'd even gotten over her fear of becoming a
vanilla-flavored, happy housewife the minute
she uttered the words, "I do."
  But the whole white wedding thing? Phoebe just had a
hard time buying into it.
  I guess that's what comes from growing up in an...
um, slightly unconventional family, Phoebe
thought with a little smile. I mean, we are witches.
  Phoebe's mind flashed back to the fateful day
that she'd discovered she was a witch. It had happened
in the attic of Halliwell Manor,

  the rambling Victorian mansion where Phoebe and
her older sisters had grown up. Nosing around one
day, Phoebe had discovered the magical Book of
Shadows and unwittingly uttered a spell that
unleashed the sisters' magical powers. And not just any
magical powers. The Halliwells were the Charmed
Ones- supernatural whizzes on their own but almost
unconquerable when they banded together as a trio.
  That would be the good old Power of Three, Phoebe
mused.
  Ever since that day Phoebe had been having
premonitions. These visions of the future sent the
sisters on wild goose chases to save innocents
and vanquish demons, warlocks, and whatever other
baddies came along to try to conquer the Power of
Three. Piper had learned to freeze time or blow
things up with the flick of a finger.
  Along the way Piper had married Leo,
despite the fact that he was the sisters'
Whitelighter- an angel assigned by the Elders
to protect them. Witch-Whitelighter romances were
totally frowned upon in the Elders' world. But somehow
Leo and Piper's love had managed to beat the
odds.
  Meanwhile Phoebe had fallen head over
heels for Cole, an assistant district
attorney who happened to be moonlighting as
Belthazor, a high-level demon intent on doing
in the

  Charmed Ones. (not that Phoebe knew this at the
time, of course.) Once Cole fell for
Phoebe, though, he'd said sayonara to the evil
underworld. In fact he'd risked life and limb to do
so. Eventually he'd even given up his powers,
becoming a full-fledged human being.
  And finally, Phoebe thought with a stab of grief, the
worst had happened. The Source of all evil had
sent an assassin to kill the Charmed Ones. After
years of misses, he'd made a successful hit.
Prue was killed, destroying the Power of Three.
  Temporarily, of course. Because that was when
Paige-who would be the love child of the girls' mother and
her Whitelighter-turned up. After that, their big,
Victorian house became home to a new set of
Charmed Ones. Paige discovered that, just like Leo,
she had the Whitelighter's ability to orb-to
disappear in a flurry of shimmery, sparks of
light. She could also orb objects into her hand.
  Even without all our magic and save-the-world
destinies and such, Phoebe thought, our family's
never been normal in the marital department. I
mean, Mom left Dad for her Whitelighter before
passing away when we were little. And while our grandmother
was raising us, she somehow found the time to marry and
divorce six times. And let's not forget that Piper
and Leo's wedding was almost ruined when Prue's
astral projection went wild and was accused of
murder.

  But in the end, Leo and Piper did have a dreamy
wedding, Phoebe remembered with a happy sigh.
  So why can't I? she thought. I mean, just because
I'm not a domestic goddess like my big sister,
does that mean I can't pull off a dream wedding?
Would it be so-
  "Unbelievable!"
  Phoebe gave a start and looked up. Well,
well, she thought. If it isn't my favorite
sorority sisters.
  The two women bearing down on Phoebe in a
gust of Happy perfume and sparkling lip gloss
had been in a couple of her classes at school.
Not that learning had been even close to the top of their
to-do lists. They were more interested in gossiping about
guys and trying to suck Phoebe into their dish
sessions.
  "Phoebe Halliwell!" Missy, the tall,
skinny one, cried.
  "Where have you been?" squealed the other one, a
buxom blonde named Carla.
  "Urn, home?" Phoebe said. "After that whole
graduation thing, I decided to stop hanging around those
classes."
  "Phoebe! Always with a joke," Carla said,
plopping into the empty chair at Phoebe's table.
Missy dragged over a third chair and squeezed
in.
  By all means, Phoebe thought dryly, have a
seat.
  "I guess you missed the Drip," Missy said.
  "Well, I was just looking for a place to do some
reading," Phoebe said. "You know, a quiet
place?"

  "Oh! My! God!" Carla shrieked, pointing
at Phoebe's left hand.
  Oh-kay, Phoebe thought, guess she missed that
memo about the quiet.
  "Is that an engagement ring on your finger?" Carla
continued.
  "Urn, yup, that would be my rock," Phoebe
said, sheepishly, glancing at the sparkly ring
Cole had given her. "I'm getting married in a
few months."
  "Awwwww, you are so lucky!" Missy gushed.
"Tell us about him."
  "Oh, well, let's just say Cole is a ...
really old soul," Phoebe said with a secret
smile. It was no lie. Cole had been a demon
for a couple centuries before giving it all up for her.
  "And I love him," Phoebe continued simply.
  "Oh, what I wouldn't give," Carla said.
She grabbed one of Phoebe's bridal magazines
and flipped a few pages with a long, pink
fingernail. "I'm so single. And here it is,
February second and I still don't have a date for
Valentine's Day. But I just signed up for
Kiss.com. You know, the Internet dating service?
I'm hoping that's gonna be, like, a total turning
point for me in the romance department!"
  "Great!" Phoebe said, scooping up her
magazines and feeling grateful that she'd gotten her
Chai in a to-go cup. "Good luck with that. But you
know, girls, I just remembered I have to be
someplace in ten minutes. It was great to see you!"

  "You too!" Missy and Carla trilled.
  "You have to call us for lunch," Carla said.
"We'll dish about blushers and bustles and stuff!"
  Okay, forget Save-the-Date cards,
Phoebe thought, feeling another wave of panic
wash over her. What the heck is a blusher?
  She gave the girls a weak wave and rushed out
of the coffeehouse.
  Oh, she worried as she hurried down Haight
Street. Maybe I'm just not bride material!
  Ugh, I am such the little wife, Piper thought in
disgust. She was standing at the island in the Manor's
kitchen. Normally it was her favorite room in the
house with its bright white bead-board and sturdy, oak
table.
  Yeah, we got the strongest one in the store after the
last one was destroyed by yet another demon, Piper
thought, rolling her eyes. still don't know why our
unholy invaders always have to land in my kitchen! Like
last week, that primordial demon came to visit
and totally gunked up my Kitchen-Aid mixer when
I exploded him.
  Piper caught herself midthought and rolled her
eyes.
  "Okay, stressing about my mixer? That just proves
it," she muttered to herself. "I am Harriet
Nelson. And appropriately enough, here I am
making meatloaf, green beans, and mashed

  Date with Death g
  potatoes for dinner. My husband even served in
World War II!"
  Piper sighed as she popped the ends off a handful
of green beans and tossed them into a bowl. She
remembered what it had been like when she and Leo had
first gotten married. She was so eager to please that
she'd made him elaborate spreads of sushi and
sake; homemade pasta and tiramisu, raspberry
sorbet and six-layer cakes-the works.
  And Leo, sweetie that he was, never said
anything but "thank you." But eventually she'd realized
that her hubbie was never more enthusiastic than when she
made meals that looked like his childhood ... in the
1930's. That meant meat and potatoes.
  So, dutiful dame that she was, she was making
meat and potatoes for dinner tonight.
  Again.
  It wasn't that Piper didn't like cooking for the
family. In fact she was never happier than when
she was whipping up a meal. After all, she'd been a
chef before she opened up P3. In fact the first time
she'd ever accidentally used her freezing power had
been to remedy a botched recipe during a tryout
for a job in a restaurant kitchen.
  But lately she'd been feeling a bit frumpy
compared to her younger sisters. Phoebe, she of the
perma-tan and blonde-streaked shiny locks only
had to get her skinny self out of bed in the

  morning to look glam. And Paige . . .
well, let's just say I am still getting used
to having a sister who looks like Snow White-all
creamy pale skin, black hair, and puckery,
glossed lips. She makes me feel like such the...
eldest sister!
  "Hi, Ma! What's for dinner?"
  Piper started and looked up. Paige was
sauntering into the kitchen with a grin on her face.
  You know, Piper thought, these retro greetings of
Paige's aren't helping me feel any more hip.
It's either the "Hi, Ma," line or "Honey,
I'm home!" Or, what was it she said yesterday at
breakfast? "Gee whiz, that's great coffee!"
  Piper sighed. She knew Paige didn't mean
to tease her. It was just there was no denying their
relationship still had some rough edges. Piper couldn't
stand Paige's bohemian decorating style, for
instance. And the way she tossed her clothes, books,
whatever, on the closest piece of
furniture-oooh, that drove Piper nuts.
  But Piper knew Paige was still struggling to fit
into her new life as a Halliwell . . . and a
witch. So she tried to cut her sis some slack.
  "Urn, meatloaf, Biff!" Piper said
brightly, trying not to cringe as Paige tossed her
briefcase onto the kitchen table. "Green beans,
potatoes ..."
  "Again?" Paige asked.
  "Again," Piper said, looking down and pursing her
lips. "Yeah, I guess I'm in a bit of a
rut."
  "I was kidding," Paige said, rolling her huge,
hazel eyes and hopping up to take a seat on the

  Death
  u
  counter. She grabbed a potato and knife and
started peeling. "C'mon, I was a vegetarian before
I moved in here. Your meatloaf totally converted me
back to being a carnivore."
  "Thanks," Piper said, flashing Paige a
smile. "But, you know, I think I do need to shake
things up a bit. I've been a ball-and-chain for,
wow, more than a year now."
  "Oh, please, you and Leo are total
mush-pots," Paige said. "I see you smooching
whenever one of us leaves the room."
  "If you've left the room, how have you seen it,
Paige?" Piper said. She felt her cheeks go
hot.
  "Well, I might have . . . left the room
slowly once," Paige said with a sheepish grin.
"Whatever. My point is, I would give anything
to be all married and settled."
  "Really?" Piper said in surprise. "You, the
Saturday Night Fever of P3? I've seen you
dance with dozens of different guys at the club."
  "Yeah, but hardly any of them stick around after the
dance," Paige complained. "They're just
fly-by-night hotties. Gorgeous and buff and
adoring, yes. But do any of them bring me chicken
soup when I have a cold?"
  "I just never pegged you as the chicken soup type,"
Piper said, suppressing a smile as she put a
pot of water on the stove to boil.
  "Yeah, I always think of borscht when it comes
to Paige."
  The sisters glanced at the kitchen doorway.

  Phoebe was standing there with an armload of bridal
magazines and a grin.
  "Or . . . hmm, maybe beef barley,"
Phoebe added.
  "ConsommeThat' Piper chimed in with a nod.
  "Okay, okay," Paige said, tossing her
peeled potato at Piper. "I get your point.
So maybe I'm not so domestic. But would it be so
wrong if I had a boyfriend who'd say ... bring
me roses on Valentine's Day?"
  "Aha," Phoebe said, crossing over to the island
and heaving her thick stack of magazines onto the
counter with a bang. "That's what this is about. It's
February second. You're angsting about
Valentine's."
  "Well, how can I not?" Paige protested,
grabbing another potato. "I mean, Piper and
Leo are all but knocked up."
  "Hello!" Piper squealed. "I am not
pregnant, thank you very much."
  As she said this, Piper felt a little pang. Because
it was true. She and Leo had been talking about
having a baby for a while now. But talking and ...
conceiving? Well, that was a big leap. Especially when
demons dropped into your kitchen on a weekly
basis. At the moment they were still at an impasse,
and Piper was the one who couldn't budge. She'd gone
through so many huge changes lately, it was hard for her
to sign onto anther one. So Operation Baby was
definitely on hold. No matter how much Leo
protested.


  "Okay, but you could be," Paige said. "You're
legal and in love. And Phoebe's shopping for
blushers, for Pete's sake."
  "Okay, what is a blusher?" Phoebe
sputtered. "How does everyone know these things?"
  "My point is, I'm at square one,"
Paige wailed. "I have no boyfriend. No
prospects. No plans this Saturday. I'm in
such a dry spell!"
  "Paige, honey," Piper said gently,
"didn't you have a date, like, three days ago?"
  Well . . . yeah, but he was wearing the worst
shoes," Paige replied. "So obviously he was
not boyfriend material."
  Shoes? Piper thought. Okay, clearly Paige
and I have different criteria when it comes to men.
  "The guys I date are so random," Paige
continued. "I mean, take that guy I met on the
streetcar a few weeks ago. I thought we had a
connection but once I got to know him, I
realized-poof-we had nothing in common."
  "Well, c'mon Paige," Piper said. "You
had to know that was a stretch! His name was Lung Chow and
he barely spoke English!"
  Paige giggled.
  "I guess you're right," she said. "I wish I
could, you know, shop for men the way you shop for clothes.
When you're in a store, you only try on the
outfits you think might fit, right? But when you're
dating, you have to commit to dinner and a movie with that
outfit. And before you even get to the soup, you realize,
that's a

  size twenty-two, orange sweater! That won't
fit me at all!"
  "Okay, you completely lost me with the metaphor
there," Piper said with a laugh. But out of the corner of
her eye, she saw Phoebe perk up.
  "You need a kiss!" Phoebe declared to Paige.
  "Phoebe, please," Paige said. "This is not
about necking with some hottie. I'm talking about trying
to find love! But I guess kissing wouldn't
hurt..."
  "Not that kind of kiss," Phoebe said. "I just
ran into some people who told me about Kiss.com. It's
a Web site where you . . . shop for men! Just like you
said."
  "Like . . . personal ads?" Paige said,
curling her lip. "Isn't that a little desperate?"
  "And Lung Chow from the streetcar isn't?"
Phoebe retorted. "Heck, I think it sounds
fun. If I were single, I'd go for it."
  "Go for what?" said a rumbly voice from the back
door. It was Cole, who had just slipped into the
kitchen from the garage. He winked at Phoebe and
said, "Hello, wife-to-be. So ... go for
what?"
  "Go for ... some meatloaf, I really could,"
Phoebe covered quickly. She hopped over to Cole
and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Then she turned
to Piper. "So what else is for dinner, Ma?
I'm starving."
  "Not you too!" Piper said, mock-scowling at


  her sister and tossing a dinner roll at her. The
roll was halfway across the room when Leo orbed
in, catching the flying bread right in the eye.
  "Yeow!" he cried, rubbing his head painfully.
"I put in a hard day of work in the heavens and this is
the homecoming I get?"
  "You got it, sweetie," Piper said, trotting
over to plant a quick kiss on his lips. "And you
get meatloaf for dinner."
  "Great!" Leo said, barely concealing his relief.
  Oh yeah, I'm Harriet Nelson all right,
Piper thought as she started setting the table. But I
guess it could be worse. I could be surfing for
dates on Kiss.com.
  I can't believe I'm surfing for dates on
Kiss.com, Paige thought with a moan. She was
clicking away at the Halliwell computer, which was
stashed on Grams's old Victorian desk in the
kitchen. The fact that she was bloated from too much
mashed potatoes didn't help matters. She
heaved a big sigh.
  "Okay," Paige muttered as she scrolled through
picture after picture, "these pickings are way
slim. Here's a picture of ... Nigel, who
desperately needs a green card, not to mention some
orthodontia. And then there's Nathan. A
mouth-breather, I can just tell. And, whoa, how many
chins does that dude have? The jpeg's kind of fuzzy
but I think I see ... four?

  "This is definitely not as fun as shopping,"
Paige continued. "What a bunch of lo-hel-Jo!
Who's this?"
  Paige was feasting her eyes on a hottie with a
head full of soft brown curls, a Matt
Damon grin, and broad shoulders. The screen name
next to the picture was, "Just James."
  Well . . . maybe I'll give Kiss.com
a try after all, Paige said with a little grin. She
opened the computer scanner and slipped in a picture
of herself. In the snapshot she was winking and wearing her
favorite, skimpy halter top.
  "Okay, so it's a little over the top," Paige
murmured as the cheesecake shot suddenly appeared
on her computer screen. "But it is a competitive
market!"
  Next, Paige clicked the post an ad
button and dashed off a quick paragraph:
  "Me? A caffeine addict with a dry wit, a
closet full of high heels, a stereo set too
loud, and a passion for my work. You? You know a fine
wine and you can make a girl laugh. You don't
smoke, but you do dance. You treat your mother right. And
when it comes to the love of your life? You're looking
for a little magic."
  "Truer than you know, boys," Paige said
wryly. "Well, let's see what happens."
  And with that, she moved her cursor to the send button
and gave it an adamant click.

  At l393SS-TR my looooove is here
to stay ..."
  Paige was stuck in traffic in her VW bug,
glaring at the radio.
  Lovely, she thought. I had a totally stressful
day at the clinic trying to place a kid in foster
care. Now I'm jammed neck-deep in traffic.
And the music is mocking me. My love isn't here
to stay. I have no love. I'm like Bridget
Jones without the British accent.
  She switched to her favorite jazz station. She
could always count on that for some awesome Charlie Parker.
  "Someday he'll come along . . ." crooned a
silky woman's voice. "The man I loooove
..."
  "Whatever!" Paige sputtered, clicking the
radio off. "I swear, Valentine's Day is still
two weeks away. Isn't this a little
excessive?"

  Paige sighed as she finally turned off the
crammed main drag onto her own street. She
parked in front of Halliwell Manor and stomped
up the steps to the front door. She was that close
to slamming it on her way in but stopped herself at the
last moment.
  Hmmm ... I just realized I don't yet know
the door-slamming policy at Halliwell
Manor, she thought. Does Piper hate it?
Does it give Phoebe a migraine? Does
Phoebe get migraines?
  Paige shook her head as she made a beeline
for the kitchen.
  I'm still getting used to this strangers-as-sisters
thing, she thought.
  Speaking of which, there was Piper at the kitchen
computer.
  "Hi," Piper called, waving distractedly as
Paige slumped against the counter. "I'm looking for
some new recipes. Something . . . exciting, yet
totally traditional. You think that exists?"
  "Sounds like a stretch to me," Paige said with a
shrug.
  "You're probably right," Piper said, rolling
her eyes. "So how was your day at the office,
Biff?"
  "Oh, the usual-attempts to create social
change. Failure to create social change,"
Paige joked. She forced herself to smile. "Thanks
for asking, by the way. I mean, since singletons are
supposed to be invisible this month."
  "Excuse me?" Piper said, tearing her eyes


  from the computer screen to scrutinize Paige.
"What are you talking about?"
  "It's February, remember?" Paige
complained. "Everywhere you go, red and pink! Love
songs on every station. Couples nuzzling each other in
supermarkets. Ew."
  "Oh," Piper said, glancing back at the
computer. "So I guess it's safe to say you
haven't been kissed?"
  "Oh, you mean Kiss.com?" Paige said. She
felt a flutter of anxiety in her stomach. Ever
since she'd put her picture on the site two
nights ealier, she'd regretted it.
  "Well, I haven't exactly checked back
in," she admitted.
  "Okay, why?" Piper said gently.
  "I'm just sure it's going to be depressing!"
Paige admitted, pulling a chair away from the
kitchen table and plopping down next to Piper. "I
mean, I wrote a note to this one guy-Just
James. But what if he didn't write back?
What if he found me repulsive?"
  "Repulsive?" Piper asked. Paige could
tell she was suppressing a laugh. "Yeah, that's
gonna happen. But on the other hand, so what if he
does? Maybe some other guy who's a whole lot
better than Just James has spotted you."
  "Okay, that's the other thing," Paige said.
"Suppose some guys write to me. And they're
all a bunch of dweebs. Then I learn that... I
attract

  dweebs. Or jerks. Or comic-reading,
strange-smelling supergeeks. I'm not sure if
I'm ready to learn that those kinds of guys are my
type."
  As Paige finished her outburst, she bit her
lip. She knew she was being irrational. In fact,
she was regretting every word that had just come out of her mouth.
Until Piper reacted in a way that was downright...
sisterly.
  "Paige," Piper said, reaching over to smooth
down a tousled lock of Paige's black hair.
"Believe me, you are not the dweeb type.
Unreliable rock-and-roll dudes, maybe."
  Paige had to laugh. Piper had her pegged.
  "But that's only because you're so cool," Piper
continued. "Now I'm going to make you some herbal
tea and you are going to sit down and log onto
Kiss.com. I'm sure it's not going to be as bad
as all that."
  Paige grinned gratefully as Piper stood up
and prodded her into the desk chair.
  "You better watch it," she said to Piper. "A
girl could get used to this big sister routine."
  "Count on it," Piper said with her typical
sweet bluntness. Then she pointed at the computer's
mouse. "Now start pointing and clicking. I'll
brew up the Tension Tamer."
  Paige laughed as she typed in the Web site's
address. Then she keyed in her password and held
her breath. A window popped up.
  "You've been kissed with forty-three messages,"
it read.


  "Whoa!" Paige exclaimed. "Um,
Piper... you better make that an extra-large
tea. I think I'm going to be here for a while."
  An hour later, Paige was still responding to her
eager e-suitors.
  Some of the first responses had been . . .
discouraging.
  "Hey, Sugar Lips," wrote a guy called
Blue-Eyed Babe. "U are 2 cute.
Let's get together."
  "Ick!" Paige had cried. "Delete,
delete, delete."
  Then there was the math professor who wrote her a
numeric love ode. And the dude who might have been
pretty hot, 250 pounds ago.
  But then she clicked on a note from . . . Just
James! He sounded totally nice and had asked her
to meet him for coffee the next day.
  And after Just James, things only got better.
Piper had been right. So far Paige had made
dates with an E.r. doctor with sandy blond
hair and incredibly white teeth. A public-aid
lawyer whose politics were identical to Paige's.
And a surfer who wrote poetry.
  Now Paige was reading a profile of a
whimsical ice-cream entrepreneur.
  "Sure, Rocky Road," Paige typed
quickly. "Why don't we get together. How's ..."
  Paige paused to check her Palm Pilot.
Her calendar was getting sort of crammed. But
Rocky Road was just too cute to resist.

  "... lunch on Thursday?" she typed.
  As she hit send, she blinked. A quick spasm of
light had shot out of the computer. It was so quick, she
almost thought it was her imagination.
  "Huh," she muttered as she clicked on the
next guy's e-mail. This one was a veterinarian
with red curls and green eyes and five brothers and
sisters.
  "This is too good to be true," Paige muttered
as she typed, "Coffee, tomorrow night?" Then she
moved her cursor to the send button.
  Click. (flash.)
  "It keeps doing that," Paige said, shaking her
head to clear the spots from her eyes. "I wonder
if something's wrong with the computer. I'll have
to remember to mention it to Piper. . . . Ooh,
who's this one? A fellow social worker? Be still my
heart."
  Click. (flash.)
  Paige wended her way through almost all forty-three
of her messages before she called it quits.
  "I'll have to come back for the rest," she yawned,
moving the mouse to send off her last response.
  Click. (flash.)
  She shook her head blearily and stood up.
Instantly she felt a wave of dizziness swoop
through her head.
  "Whoa," she whispered, grabbing the desk


  chair for support. She stood still for a moment and
tried to shake the fog out of her brain.
  "I guess all that admiration went to my head,"
she said. Then, as the dizziness passed, she giggled.
  Immediately Piper and Phoebe poked their heads
into the kitchen.
  "Do I hear laughter?" Piper said. "As in
success?"
  "So!" Paige said, thrusting her Palm Pilot
out to them. "Check it out. I'm booked solid for the
next week. Lunch dates, coffee dates,
dinners, drinks. I'm, like, the prom queen of
Kiss.com."
  "I think I created a monster," Piper said,
gaping at the crowded calendar page on Paige's
Palm Pilot. "You really want to date all these
guys?"
  "It's called playing the field," Phoebe said
with a smile. "I used to do it all the time."
  "I remember," Piper said dryly. "And that was
before they invented the Palm Pilot. Remember when
those two guys, both named Jeff, showed up for a
date at the same time?"
  "Those were the days," Phoebe said dreamily.
  Paige winked at her and then turned to grin at
Piper.
  "Don't you worry," Paige said. "I've
got a grip. I'll just check these guys out and then
narrow it down to, oh, three or four with real
potential."
  "Three or four?!" said a voice behind her.
Paige whipped around to see Leo, leaning

  against the kitchen doorjamb. "You're going to date
three or four men at the same time? Isn't that a
little ... fast?"
  "Leo," Phoebe squealed. "There's nothing
wrong with it. Might I remind you, it's the
twenty-first century. Women work now, and we vote
and we date."
  "I'm well aware," Leo said dryly. "I'm
married to a lady business owner, aren't I?"
  "Lady business owner?" Piper protested.
"What am I? Mary Kay?"
  "Oh-kay," Paige said, stepping between her sister
and brother-in-law. "I'd love to listen to this
oh-so-retro repartee, but I have to get ready. My
first date is dinner in, oh, about two hours."
  "You're kidding!" Piper said. "Paige, I
think Leo's right. That's fast!"
  "Don't listen to them," Phoebe said, slinging an
arm around Paige's shoulders. "I think it's great!
In fact, I'm going to help you get ready. Let
me introduce you to one of the joys of being a
Halliwell. You get to raid your sister's
closet before a big date."
  "You read my mind," Paige said with a grin as she
followed Phoebe out of the kitchen. As she climbed
the stairs to Phoebe's bedroom, she found herself
cheerfully humming a familiar tune.
  "At laaaaast," she sang softly, "my
loooove is here to stay."


  Piper watched Paige and Phoebe trot out of the
kitchen. Then she turned to grin at her husband.
  "I guess love is in the air," she said,
slipping into his arms and planting a kiss on the
tip of his nose.
  "Do you ever miss being single?" Leo said, gazing
into Piper's eyes and smoothing a lock of hair off
her forehead. "Being picked up at the door? Being
taken out by a guy who isn't, um, dead and can,
say, pick up the dinner check?"
  Piper laughed and gave Leo another kiss.
  "Not for a minute," she said sweetly. "Who
wants to date when you can be married to an angel? And
besides, I told you I was never beating the boys off with
sticks."
  "That's only because those fellas were too dumb
to see how special you are," Leo said. His green
eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled at his
wife. "Lucky for me."
  Piper felt a warm and gooey sensation spread
through her. She and Leo hadn't had a mushy conversation
like this in so long!
  "No, I'm the one who's lucky," she said,
snuggling up against his strong chest.
  "So what's for dinner?" Leo asked, rubbing her
back idly.
  Piper started.
  Oh-kay, she thought. Enough with the goo. Ozzie
Nelson is back. She pushed Leo away and
shrugged.

  "Yeah," she said dryly. "I was just looking up
some recipes. I'll get right on that."
  "Piper," Leo said, catching her elbow. "Did
I say something wrong?"
  "Noooo," Piper said. "You were just... being a
husband, that's all."
  Leo's worried face relaxed again.
  "You got it," he said sweetly. "And you're my
wife. Just the way I want it."
  Piper smiled weakly and turned to the computer as
Leo wandered out of the kitchen. She sighed as she started
to type in the address to the recipe Web site.
  But then something caught her eye. The Internet was
still tuned to Kiss.com, she realized. Hovering above
a window that said, "Paige Matthews, you have eight
unopened messages," was one of those flashing ad
banners.
  "Is your relationship in a rut?" the ad read.
"Do you and your mate have what it takes to go the distance?
Do you care enough to find out?"
  "Can you say manipulative?" Piper muttered,
rolling her eyes. She started to click back to her
recipe page, but something made her drag the
cursor over to the ad.
  "Just curious . . ." she whispered as she
clicked on it. Suddenly she was gazing at a busy
Web site filled with urgently bouncing hearts and
pulsing hotlinks. The Web site's name flashed
at the top of the screen.


  "Women are Cats, Men are Dogs," Piper
read out loud. "Well, that sort of makes sense .
. ." Then her eye fell on a link.
  "Humdrum husband?" it read. "Our relationship
regimen will snap that marriage back into shape."
  Hmmm, Piper thought, casually clicking on the
link. The screen filled with a list of about a dozen
quizzes, exercises, and games you could play
to raise your consciousness and jump-start your
marriage.
  "Oh, please," Piper said to herself. "That's so
Oprah. But then again . . . Oprah is really
popular!"
  Before Piper knew it she was printing out a stack of
quizzes and questionnaires.
  "Why not?" she said to herself blithely. "It's not like
Leo and I have to take these things seriously. It'll
be fun!"
  Phoebe could dimly hear Paige's voice, but
she couldn't understand a word she was saying.
  "Wait a minute," Phoebe said, awkwardly
extricating herself from the crowded depths of her
walk-in closet. She was holding a very short,
green leather skirt in one hand and a gauzy black
sweater in the other. She tossed them to Paige, who
was sitting on the bed amongst a stack of other sexy
date clothes. "I couldn't hear you."

  "I said, you seem more excited about this date than
I am!" Paige said. She grinned as she pawed
through Phoebe's filmy clothes.
  "Oh," Phoebe said, pausing for a moment. Was
there a kernel of truth to that? Why was she so
into Paige's swinging single thing?
  Phoebe shook the question out of her head and smiled
brightly. "Just trying to be supportive. You know,
I'm new to this whole big sister thing. It's kind of
fun!"
  "It is fun!" Paige said, eyeing a
transparent tank top with a raised eyebrow. "I
only hope Josh Skilling provides as good a
time."
  Phoebe froze. "Did you just say Josh
Skilling?" she asked slowly.
  "Yeah, why?" Paige asked. She stared at
Phoebe and her face fell. "You know him! It's
all over your face. Oh, no, tell me. Is
he a jerk? A freak? Am I in for the worst night
of my life? Give it to me straight, doc."
  "No, no, he's not a freak. . . ."
Phoebe said, feeling her giddiness evaporate like
a potion that had gone poof. "And he wasn't a
jerk. Not until right before we broke up."
  "What?" Paige said. Her white skin went
even paler. "You're telling me that my Kiss.com
date is your ex?"
  "Um, yeah," Phoebe said quietly, flopping
onto the bed next to Paige. "That about sums it
up."


  "I'm canceling," Paige said, jumping off the bed
and stalking across the room to the phone. "Dating your
sister's ex is completely taboo."
  "No, wait," Phoebe heard herself say. She
tried to act breezy. "Please, Paige. I'm
engaged to Cole. Why should I care? And besides, I
was the one who broke up with Josh."
  "Okay, then why are you all trembly?"
Paige retorted. She planted her fists on her
hips and stared at Phoebe.
  "I'm not, I swear," Phoebe said with a little
laugh. A ... trembly, little laugh. Paige
stared her down.
  "All right, I'll tell you the whole deal,"
Phoebe agreed. "Josh and I dated for a few
months about five years ago and, at first, everything was
blissville."
  "And then what?" Paige said, sinking to a seat on
the floor. She folded her legs beneath her and gazed
up at Phoebe. "He cheated? Stood you up?
Stopped calling?"
  "No . . ." Phoebe said. "He just changed.
It was like, all of a sudden, he couldn't quite look at
me anymore. He got sort of distant and
sullen. I tried to talk to him about it, you know, see
if he was going through something he wasn't telling me
about. But he completely shut me out. And he
didn't show any signs of changing. Finally I
didn't feel like I had any choice but to break up
with him."

  "Ugh!" Paige said. "Men are so weird!"
  "Yup," Phoebe said, trying to ignore the
tension roiling in her stomach. She started to return
her attention to Paige's date outfit, but she
paused. Then she looked at her sister.
  "Doesn't it seem like everyone has one
relationship that they just can't figure out? Where it went
wrong? What could have been?" she said. "Well...
Josh was mine."
  "Josh?"
  Phoebe started.
  "Cole!" she said, staring at her fiance leaning
against the doorframe. He was wearing sweats and had a
towel draped around his neck. "When did you-was
  "I wasn't eavesdropping, I swear,"
Cole said, giving Phoebe a quick smile. "I was
just heading out to the gym and was going to say good-bye. And
... Josh?"
  "Oh, Josh, shmosh," Phoebe said, grinning
at Cole. "It's nothing ..."
  "He's ... a friend?" Cole asked.
  "An ex-friend," Paige piped up.
  Great, Phoebe thought, thanks for the help, sis.
It wasn't that she didn't want Cole to know about
Josh. She could tell Cole anything. But talking
about ex-boyfriends? Was that ever a good idea?
  "Anyway we were trying to find the perfect outfit
for Paige's date," Phoebe said, bouncing over
to the bed and scooping up some shiny red


  pants. "What do you think of these, Cole? Would
these make you interested in a woman?"
  "They did make me interested in a woman,"
Cole said. "You wore those on our second date.
Remember?"
  Phoebe gazed at Cole with a shy smile. He
remembered something like that? Cole could still surprise
her.
  "So who's your big date with, Paige?" Cole
said, shooting Phoebe a wink.
  "Oh . . . Josh," Paige said with an
awkward shrug.
  "Josh," Cole said. "Phoebe's friend?"
  "Ex-friend," Phoebe and Paige blurted at the
same time.
  "Uh-huh," Cole said, giving Phoebe a
hard look. "The plot thickens. I don't know
what that plot is, but..."
  "Sweetie," Phoebe said, rolling her eyes
and hoping Cole wasn't going to get all macho on
her. "No plot. Just ancient history."
  Then she shot Paige a sly grin.
  "And," Phoebe added, "maybe a new
romance."

  were cllPC W3S Oil the second leg of
her date with Josh Skilling-the post-dinner
cocktail-and she was not happy. She sipped her
cranberry juice-and-tonic and sighed as she watched
a band gyrate wildly on P3's stage. She'd
seen this group before. Chubby Hubby. They were the
shim-mery, poppy, slightly thrashing kind of group
Paige loved. But for some reason, they weren't doing
it for her tonight. She could barely wrap her brain around
the music, much less get her booty shaking. She
felt like her feet were glued to the floor.
  Furtively she glanced at her watch.
  Nine thirty-six, she thought. Let's see, I
think the last time I looked at my watch, it was
9:30. This is not good.
  She shot Josh Skilling a sidelong glance.
Then she sighed again.


  This just proves that taste in men is not
DNA'-DRIVEN, she thought ruefully. I mean,
Josh is the one that got away? The one that haunts
Phoebe to this day? What's the big deal? Look
at him: that wavy brown hair, bright blue eyes,
chiseled jaw, broad shoulders ... hey, wait a
minute. It sounds like I was just describing a
complete babe. But, for some reason, all those
fabulous parts add up to zero for me.
  It must be Josh's personality that's got me
bum-min', Paige thought. Even though . . . the
dinner conversation had been pretty cool, when she
thought about it. Josh had told her hilarious stories
about growing up on a farm in Ohio. And when she
told him she didn't drink, he'd canceled his own
order for a glass of wine. Totally sensitive.
  So why was Paige yawning and yearning for an end
to the night? And why, after downing a huge pile of
Thai noodles, was she feeling so empty and
unsatisfied?
  Why, come to think of it, did she feel like she was
walking through a fog?
  "Do you think there was MSG in our dinner?"
Paige asked Josh.
  She watched his beautiful head turn toward her as
if in slow-motion.
  Jeez, what's with this guy, Paige thought.
He's so slow!
  "What?" Josh shouted over the music.
  "MSG? In the Thai food?" Paige yelled
back to him.

  "MG? I guess it's a cool car," he
yelled back to her. "Why do you ask? Don't
tell me you only date guys with swank cars.
Because I love my ancient Saab. I will give it
up for no woman!"
  He was funny. And charming. Paige knew this in
the back of her head. But something prevented her from
laughing or responding much at all. Josh's face
turned hopeful.
  He's waiting for me to belly up to this date,
Paige thought to herself frantically. And I'm just not
up to the task. I've got to admit, if anyone's
been a drip tonight, it's been me. And I have no
idea why. Josh is... really nice. He's
certainly trying to show me a good time. Why aren't I
enjoying myself? What's wrong with me?
  Taking a distracted sip of her juice, she stared
hard at Josh's profile. She tried to will herself
to turn on the charm, touch his shoulder . . . something!
  But she just stood there, motionless.
  Josh must have felt her stare because he turned back
to her. And for an instant, their eyes connected.
Paige started. Josh's eyes almost sparkled, the
way they do on cheesy TV shows. She felt a
surge of energy pass between them.
  At last, she thought, a connection!
  But when Josh looked away for an instant, the
spark dissipated immediately. At the same time, Chubby
Hubby's last drumbeat echoed through the club and the
lead singer called out, "Let's


  hear it for P3! We love it here, which is why
we're taking a break, y'all. Back in
twenty."
  As the bar filled with chatter, Paige and Josh
stood facing each other awkwardly. Paige opened
her mouth, but somehow her entire repertoire of
quips seemed to have flown out of her head. All she
could lamely manage was, "Whew, what a great
band. You know, I've got to get up really early
tomorrow."
  "Oh, me too," Josh said quickly. Paige could
almost see his face slacken with relief. "But,
uh... this was fun."
  "Yeah, oh, totally," Paige said in a
monotone voice.
  Why even bother? she wailed inwardly. This date
was a complete bust. And to think, I have lunch,
coffee, and dinner dates tomorrow.
  By the next afternoon, Paige had a theory.
  She'd come up with it in the car on the way back from
the most unstimulating cappuccino she'd ever drank.
She blamed the man who bought her the cappuccino. Just
James had been drippier than drip coffee.
  But he'd been an absolute rock star compared
with the simpering social worker she'd met at lunch.
  Paige had finally escaped the coffee date with a
limp handshake and her standard, "Don't call me,
I'll call you," routine. Then she hurried to her
VW

  and slumped into the driver's seat. She grabbed her
cell phone from her purse and speed-dialed home as
she turned the key in the ignition.
  "I have a theory," she announced to the first person
who picked up.
  "Who is this?" said the voice.
  "Phoebe, it's Paige," Paige said,
rolling her eyes. "I thought sisters didn't have
to ID themselves over the phone. I thought that was part of the
whole closet-raiding, boyfriend-swapping-was
  "Theory-spouting," Phoebe blurted.
  "Yeah, theory-spouting package," Paige said.
  "It is," Phoebe said. "But sue me, the
TV was on. So spout away. What's your
theory?"
  "Internet dating sucks," Paige said.
  "Uh-huh ... and your theory?"
  "That's it."
  "Oh, honey," Phoebe said. "Give it a
chance. You've only had one date-was
  "Three," Paige corrected her.
  "Three?" Phoebe gasped. "Paige! You're
fast!"
  "Thanks," Paige huffed, as she pulled
into traffic and headed back to work. "I don't know
what's wrong, but all these dates seem really
empty. I feel like I'm only halfway there.
Their jokes aren't funny. They don't look as
cute as their pictures. Even the food is
boring."
  "That's weird," Phoebe said.
  "Tell me about it," Paige said. "I mean,
I am usually the first-date queen. I can spin a
conversation out of nothing. But with these guys I can't

  with Death

  think of a thing to say. I blame Kiss.com. It
raises unfair expectations or something."
  "I guess ..." Phoebe said hesitantly.
"So what are you gonna do?"
  "What can I do? I've got to go on my dinner
date tonight," Paige said, as she pulled into the
clinic's parking lot. "It's this guy-a lawyer-
named Max Wolf. I'm sure he'll be as blah
as the rest, but I figure I should give it one last
shot."
  "That's the spirit," Phoebe said. "What are you
wearing?"
  "Not that it matters, but your blue capris and that
little green sweater you always wear," Paige said,
glancing down at her very cute outfit.
  "Oh," Phoebe said flatly. "Urn, did
I offer you my favorite sweater?"
  "Urn, not exactly," Paige said with a gulp.
"But I thought, you know, that whole sisterly
closet-raiding thing..."
  "Yeah, it doesn't apply to my favorite
sweater, Paige," Phoebe said. Then Paige
heard her sister's voice lighten. "Just do me a
favor and don't spill soy sauce on it."
  "Absolutely!" Paige said. "Mea culpa,
Phoebs."
  "And please, try to enjoy yourself," Phoebe said.
"You never know, maybe this next guy will be the one!"
  "The one, brought to you by Kiss.com?" Paige
muttered as she clicked off her cell phone and
flounced out of her car. "Fat chance."

  This guy is so the one, Paige found herself thinking
a few hours later.
  She was sitting at a tiny table in an Italian
restaurant, gazing at the fabulous face of Max
Wolf. She was seriously smitten with him by the
salad course.
  Max was on the short side. And while his face
was handsome, it was also a bit rugged. He looked like
someone who'd been through a lot in his life.
  His shiny, black hair was slicked back in a
lawyerly do that Paige-she of the spiky-haired bad
boyfriends-had never really liked.
  In fact, objectively, Max wasn't
nearly as cute as most of the Kiss.com dates
she'd had. But there was something about him that captivated
her.
  Maybe it was his hazel eyes. They were almost
yellow. And they mesmerized her. She almost couldn't
take her eyes off of them as Max chatted through the
meal.
  "Ah," he said, peeling a leaf off a crispy
Roman artichoke. "I was raised on this kind of
food. Pure, authentic Italian."
  "Excuse me, urn, Max Wolf? That
doesn't sound very Italian to me," Paige said
with a giggle.
  "Well, it's true, I'm a Jewish guy from
New York City," Max said with a charming shrug.
"But Paige, have you ever had a matzo ball? Ugh.
My mother did us all a favor and put the old


  country recipe book in storage. Then she
became a premier Italian chef. We had
homemade pasta almost every night in my house."
  "That's crazy!" Paige had gushed, surprising
even herself with her delighted laughter. "And what did
you have for dessert in your house?"
  "Exactly what we're having tonight," Max said
smoothly. "The best creme brulee you ever tasted.
Waiter!"
  The night went on like that. Max said the perfect
things and made the perfect moves. And after he
drove Paige home, he walked her to the door and
gave her the perfect good-night kiss.
  "Wow," Max said, gazing down at Paige, his
eyes sparkling a little bit in the porch light. "You
were not what I expected to find on Kiss.com."
  "You took the words right out of my mouth," Paige
replied, dreamily. She closed her eyes and
leaned in for another kiss.
  "Why don't we take care of that on our next
date," Max said softly, brushing Paige's
cheek with his lips. "Will you see me again, Paige?"
  "After a tease like that, I guess I'll have to,"
Paige joked, though her stomach was fluttering
madly. "When?"
  "Sunday?" Max proposed.
  "You got it," Paige said. "Call me."
  When she slipped quietly into the Manor, she was
hit with a wave of dizziness. She stumbled back
against the door and felt her chin hit her chest. After
just a moment, the icky feeling passed.

  Man, Paige thought, drifting across the foyer to the
stairs. She couldn't seem to shake the goofy smile
from her face. That was some date!
  "Okay, Leo," Piper was saying the next
morning. "Here's a good one. "Would you compare your
wife to a sycamore or an oak tree?"'"
  Phoebe almost choked on her toast. She was
lounging in the dining room with Piper and Leo, sucking
down some caffeine and waiting anxiously for Paige
to come down for breakfast. She was dying to know how her
date went last night with that lawyer guy. She was
also dying to know that her favorite sweater made it through
the evening without any stains or snags. And she was
really hoping for a distraction from the old-marrieds on the
other end of the table.
  "This is so far from romantic, it's not even
funny," Phoebe said, gnawing on her toast and
gazing balefully at Piper and Leo.
  "That's what I said," Leo complained. He was
mushing his scrambled eggs around his plate, looking
completely trapped. "Piper, these quizzes make
no sense. I would never compare you to a tree. I
mean, that's not very poetic, is it?"
  "Well, you're not very poetic," Phoebe
pointed out.
  "Right," Leo said, before he did a double take.
"Hey! Phoebe, whose side are you on?"
  "Face it, Leo," Phoebe said, leaning farther

  with Death

  back in her chair. "You are what is known as an
old-fashioned guy. A man's man. Men like you
don't write poetry."
  "Men like me can simply appreciate their wives
without having to compare them to treesst" Leo said,
glaring at Piper.
  But Piper ignored him and consulted the next question.
  "All right then, snippy," she said. "Answer
me this: 'allyour wife is sick with a cold. She
tells you she's fine and that you should go out with the guys and
have some fun. Do you a) Happily wave good-bye and
hightail it out of there? but) Say you wouldn't think of
it, run her a nice bath, and make her some
homemade soup? or can) Compromise by having the
guys over for pizza and beer?"'"
  "This ... is ... a trick ... question," Leo
said, staring at Piper. "I'm trying ... to eat. .
. breakfast."
  Uh-oh, Phoebe thought. When Leo does that
slow-talking thing, it's time to get out of the way.
Suddenly, Phoebe heard a sound that made her
forget about Piper and Leo. I think I hear the
pitter-patter of Paige's mules on the stairs!
  Clunk-clunk-clunk-clunk.
  Paige came into the dining room and flopped
happily into a chair.
  "I have two words for you," she said to Phoebe.
  "They better not be "ruined sweaterst" Phoebe
quipped.

  "Max Wolf."
  "Good date?" Phoebe asked excitedly.
"Tell all!"
  "He's a dream!" Paige gushed. "It was so
weird. My dates with all the other Kiss guys
were so dull, I felt like I was walking through mud.
But with Max it was like hiking in high altitude.
Everything was crisp and clear. It was like my senses were
heightened!"
  "That sounds more like a marathon than a date,"
Phoebe joked, "but whatever rows your boat."
  "Oh, it's hard to explain," Paige said.
"All I know is, Max is it. I'm looking no
further."
  She popped out of her chair and went into the foyer
to grab her purse. When she returned to the
breakfast table, she was holding her Palm Pilot.
  "Whoa," Phoebe said. "What are you doing?"
  "Well, I've got a lot of dates to cancel,
so I better get on it," Paige said, glancing
at the end of the table where Leo and Piper were glaring at
each other. "Leo, can you pass me the toast?"
  When Leo ignored Paige, she glanced at
Phoebe with her eyebrows raised.
  "Married love," Phoebe whispered with a
giggle. "It's a mystery."
  "Not for long, it isn't," Cole said as he
slipped into the dining room and gave Phoebe a
kiss on the nape of her neck.
  "Oh ... hi, honey," Phoebe said with a


  nervous laugh. "Paige was just about to do something
crazy."
  Paige looked up from her Palm Pilot in
annoyance.
  "Crazy? What crazy?" she protested.
"Yesterday everyone was saying I was 'fast" for dating
so many guys. Now I'm all ready to become a
one-man woman and I'm nuts?"
  "Honey, don't you think it's a little premature
to commit to Max?" Piper chimed in, giving Leo a
sidelong glance. "After all, it's amazing how long
it takes to really get to know a person!"
  "Hey!" Leo said. "What's that supposed
to mean, Piper? You know, I think it's time for me
to give you a little quiz. Let's see if you can
take it as well as you can dish it out."
  He reached across the table and snatched some of the
papers stacked by Piper's elbow.
  Phoebe rolled her eyes and returned her
attention to Paige.
  "Here's the thing," she said to her sister. "If you
really think you want Max to be your boyfriend, the best
thing you could do is keep dating other guys."
  "And that makes sense, how?" Paige asked.
  "Standard dating dogma," Phoebe said casually.
"Love finds you only when you stop looking. The
guy who likes you, you don't like. And the guy you like,
doesn't like you. In other words, what you usually get
in romance is the inverse of your desire."

  "Uh-huh," Paige said, looking confused as
Cole squinted at Phoebe in amusement.
  "So you want Max all to yourself?" Phoebe
concluded. "Show him how popular you are. Be a little
unavailable. Desperation is sure to ensue."
  "Phoebe," Cole joked, grabbing a slice of
toast off her plate. "I had no idea you were such
a player. What sort of wiles did you work on
me when we first met?"
  "No wiles for you, Cole," Phoebe said.
"Just your standard falling in love, getting my heart
broken, falling back in love and, hopefully,
living happily ever after."
  "Standard," Cole said, his eyes softening a bit.
"Sure. But not for you. You were single-girl
extraordinaire before we met."
  Phoebe looked quickly at her plate. Her
mind flashed on her former life-dating, dancing
"til dawn, each night on the town heightened by the
possibility of meeting your soul mate. And the truth
was, she'd never really expected to meet him, that
mythical soul mate. Cole had jumped into her
heart almost despite herself.
  And now she was on the bridal fast track. It
almost made her head spin.
  Cole was staring at her, almost as if he could read
her mind.
  "I'm no Josh Skilling," he said, his voice
low and nimbly. "Of course, maybe that's what you
want."


  "No ..." Phoebe said. "'Course not."
  "Are you sure about that?" Cole said. "Because I can
see how being strung along by a guy with ice in his
veins could be really appeal-+."
  "Cole!" Phoebe looked up at him, feeling
stung. Then she flounced out of her chair.
  Phoebe glanced at Leo, who was flipping through
Piper's quizzes and curling his lip.
  Suddenly, I know just how Leo feels, being under
the romantic microscope, Phoebe thought. I
think it's time to duck out from under the lens.
  "I'll get the dishes," she announced, grabbing
her plate and avoiding Cole's eyes. She
swung around to Paige's corner of the table and leaned
in to pick up her sister's plate. As she did,
her fingertips brushed Paige's turquoise
Palm Pilot.
  And that's when Phoebe felt the familiar rush.
  She gasped and felt her head dive into some
nebulous, shimmery place. Then her mind began
to swim with frantic images. She was in full-on
premonition mode.
  She saw a young couple, embracing against a
brick wall. The woman was blond and curvy.
Her left hand was curled casually around her date's
neck as he kissed her. Then, through the fog of the
vision, Phoebe saw the girl's hand clench. She
began to scratch at her suitor, struggling to get
away.

  Phoebe's mind flashed forward to the girl's
body. Her chest was bathed in blood.
  Next the scene replayed itself. The people were new, but
the scenario was the same:
  Kiss.
  Kill.
  Kiss.
  Kill.
  Phoebe was finally released from the premonition when
the third girl fell, her pale hand landing in an
oily puddle with a thud.
  Phoebe gasped again and felt the breakfast
plate she was holding fly from her hand, shattering at
her feet. Clutching her temples in pain, she
slumped to the floor and moaned.
  "Phoebe!" Cole cried, jumping behind her
to catch her head before it hit the floor. "What is
it? What did you see?"
  Phoebe gazed up at Cole and tried to forget
the hostility that had been pulsing between them only a
minute ago.
  Because the young women in her vision had it a lot
worse than her.
  Their love had gotten them killed.

  u3lf 311 llOlir after Phoebe's
premonition, Darryl Morris was at the front
door. Piper had called him immediately.
  "Hey, guys," Darryl said, stepping into the
foyer and giving Piper and her sisters a warm
smile. Piper handed him a cup of coffee and
patted his shoulder.
  What would we do without Darryl? she thought with a
sigh. Sometimes I can't believe how lucky we were
to become friends with a police detective who lets us
collaborate on cases and isn't freaked by our
supernatural selves. We've never had to worry
about Darryl blowing our cover.
  "So does Phoebe's premonition mean anything
to you?" Piper asked, guiding Darryl into the
conservatory. The rest of the group was camped out in the
sun-filled room, lounging on the pretty white
wicker furniture.

  Phoebe still looked a little pale and shaky. Her
premonitions always seemed to drain her of energy. It
was the most debilitating of any of the sisters"
powers, which sometimes made Piper feel guilty.
She sat on the arm of Phoebe's chair and put a
protective arm around her shoulders as Darryl
started talking.
  "I was literally reaching for the phone to call you when you
rang me up, Piper," he said, settling his big,
bearish frame onto one of the loveseats. "There were
three murders last night- all very similar. And
definitely supernatural."
  "How can you tell?" Paige said in alarm.
"What happened to them?"
  "Well, the bodies are still in the pathology
lab, but initial reports say there were no weapons
used," Darryl said.
  "But in my premonition," Phoebe said, "there was
so much blood!"
  "And your mind didn't lie," Darryl said
grimly. "These girls' hearts had been ripped from
their chests. And I don't know any human who would
be capable of sucking a heart out of a chest cavity
without so much as a penknife."
  Piper flinched at the image.
  These are the moments I most loathe our witchy
lifestyle, she thought. Who else has to deal with
death and demons on, like, a weekly basis?
  She stood up wearily and said, "So, girls, the
usual? Book of Shadows? Scrying for demon
locations?"
  "You got it," Phoebe said.


  "I guess I better call and cancel my
brunch date," Paige said.
  "Actually, maybe that's not such a good idea,"
Leo piped up. He was standing behind Paige with that
thoughtful look he always got when he was in
Whitelighter mode. "Phoebe, you got your
premonition after touching Paige's Palm Pilot,
right?"
  "Uh-huh," Phoebe said. "At least I think
that's what set it off."
  "So . . . maybe whatever's in the Palm
Pilot could lead us to the demon," Leo said.
  "What?!" Paige said shakily. "But my whole
life is in there! Addresses fpr everyone I know.
A calendar for the past year. I don't know how
we'd get through it all."
  "Okay, the Palm Pilot isn't the best
clue," Piper said. "But the victims might be.
Darryl, do you know anything about them?"
  "Well, they all fit the same
profile-midtwen-ties, attractive, single.
Names are ..."
  Darryl flipped through a file, then read,
"Christy Farthington, Betsy Pollack, Carla
Janowski."
  "Ahhh!" Phoebe cried. "Carla
Janowski? I know her! I saw her just a few
days ago!"
  "You're kidding," Piper said. "Oh, honey,
I'm sorry. Was she a close friend? I've never
heard you mention her."
  Phoebe slumped back into her wicker chair with
tears in her eyes.

  "No, we just had some classes together at
school," she said, her voice trembling with guilt.
"In fact, I didn't even like her that much. But
Carla was harmless. I can't believe she's been
murdered."
  Darryl sat down on the edge of the coffee table and
leaned toward Phoebe.
  "Phoebe, think. Did Carla say anything to you
that might help us?" he urged.
  Phoebe shook her head and shrugged.
  "I don't know," she said. "She was all
excited about my engagement, I remember. And she
was bumming out about being single."
  Suddenly Phoebe gasped and stared at Paige.
  "Carla was the one who told me about
Kiss.com," she breathed. "She'd just signed up
for the service."
  "Now, that's a clue," Leo said. Then he
turned to Paige. "Which means you better not be late
for your date."
  "Are you kidding?" Paige squealed, jumping off
the couch. "What if this serial killer is my
brunch date? What then?"
  "Then I orb you out of there," Leo said. "What,
did you think I'd let you go alone?"
  Piper saw Paige relax a little bit. But just
a little bit.
  "Look, Paige," she said. "The odds that your
date is our demon are slim. I mean, none of
your other Kissers tried to steal your heart, right?"


  "Not lethally, anyway," Cole said with a slight
smile.
  "I guess you're right," Paige said. "And with
Leo with me, it'll probably be just fine."
  "Totally," Phoebe said, jumping off the chair.
She'd recovered from her shock.
  When Phoebe gets gang ho, Piper thought with a
smile, stand back.
  "Okay, so we have a plan," Phoebe
announced. "Paige and Leo will go scan Mr.
Coffee Date for horns and scales. And while
you're gone, Piper and I will do our Book of
Shadows thing."
  "You make it almost sound fun," Paige said,
hauling herself to her feet. She slumped into the foyer
and grabbed her purse.
  "Let me tell you, Paige," Phoebe said,
"after a few years of the Wiccan life, you get used
to it."
  "Sad but true," Piper said. "All right,
guys. Let's get to work."
  Ninety minutes later, everyone's enthusiasm
had definitely cooled.
  "Okay, is our crystal on the blink?"
Phoebe complained. She was in the attic of
Halliwell Manor with Piper, scrying. That is,
she was dangling a magic crystal over a map of
San Francisco. The crystal was supposed
to drop when it hit the place where a demon was
lurking.
  But today the crystal was not cooperating.

  She'd checked everywhere, even in the far reaches of the
"burbs. But their demon seemed to beAWOL.
  "I don't get it," Piper said from her perch behind
the lectern where they kept the Book of Shadows.
"This demon's holding three human hearts. And
he's also got time to disappear into thin air?"
  She went back to flipping through the Book. If
anybody had a jaundiced eye about being a witch,
it was Piper. But when she was studying the Book of
Shadows she couldn't help but feel awe. After
all, generations of Halliwell women had created this
book with its supple, leather cover and
age-yellowed, parchment pages. Over the centuries
they'd written about demons, warlocks, and other
random evils they'd come across.
  But over the years Piper and her sisters had also
learned-the hard way-that the Book of Shadows
didn't have all the answers.
  And this was clearly one of those times. She'd
flipped through much of the Book, but hadn't spotted
any demon that stole hearts.
  "Well, I guess we can be thankful for one
thing," Phoebe said, as she let the crystal hover
above a street corner on the map. "I'm at the
restaurant where Paige is having brunch and there's
no demon there."
  "There's no Paige there either," Paige said as
she appeared at the attic door. There were


  shadows beneath her eyes and she was totally devoid of
post-date pep. Leo slumped up the stairs behind
Paige.
  "What happened?" Phoebe cried, dropping the
crystal on the map and running to the attic door.
"You both look like you've been through the wringer."
  "Only the most boring date ever," Paige
yawned. "The veterinarian was no demon. I would have
welcomed the diversion of a demon. On the plus
side, I have coupons for all of us. Free spaying
or neutering for all our pets."
  "Don't listen to her, Sweetie," Phoebe
said. She reached down to cover the ears of the sisters"
Siamese cat, who'd been lurking around her feet
as she scryed. Every witch had a familiar and
Sweetie was theirs. "We'll get some kittens out
of you yet."
  Leo stole over to Piper with a pained look on his
face.
  "And you think I need a relationship quiz?" he
hissed. "You should have seen the two of them. I could
hear the sighs of boredom all the way over at my
table ten feet away. It's like they had nothing
to say."
  Piper gave him a look and put her finger to her
lips. Then she walked over to Paige and gave her
a sympathetic frown.
  "Well, you did one for the home team, Paige,"
she said. "At least we know he's not a demon!"

  "Arrrrgggh," Paige said, yawning loudly as she
gave Piper a lame nod. "I'm hungry. Is
there anything to eat downstairs."
  "Hello," Leo gasped, "didn't I just see
you eat an entire spinach frittata with a side of
hash browns?"
  "I know," Paige said with a shrug. "But somehow
I feel so empty. It's like that date drained me
of something."
  Paige headed to the stairs with Piper, Phoebe
and Leo on her heels.
  "Not to add to the gloom, but I do feel I should
point out that we're still demonless," Piper said as the
group headed to the kitchen. "If we have to screen
Paige's suitors date-by-date, I'm
afraid we're going to lose more innocents in the
meantime."
  "She's right," Phoebe said, biting her lip.
She flopped into the desk chair and fiddled with the
computer's mouse. "We need to broaden our reach.
Go somewhere that's crawling with men on the make."
  "And come to think of it, I have to go to work tonight,"
Piper said, winking at her sister. "At a
nightclub that happens to be crawling with men on the
make."
  "P3," Leo said. "Perfect. Paige will be
bait."
  Paige, who'd been rifling through the fridge in
search of munchies, groaned. She emerged with an
apple and a glare.


  "Me? Again?" she sputtered. "Why not Piper
or Phoebe?"
  "Paige, we own P3," Piper said.
"Everyone knows Phoebe and I aren't single."
  "How convenient," Paige grumbled. Then she
grabbed a jar of peanut butter from the pantry,
smeared a big gob of the stuff onto her apple, and
took a big, irritable bite.
  "Ugh, why did you let me eat so much this afternoon?"
Paige groaned. It was 11 p.m. that night,
prime pick-up hour at P3. And unlike most
Saturday nights of her life, Paige couldn't have
been less in the mood. She was slumped over the
bar, in a post-binge haze.
  "Don't worry, you look great. I
particularly like the electric blue, rubber dress,
Paige," Piper said as she wiped off glasses
behind the bar. She peeked over the bar and grinned. "And
four-inch heels. Really completes the package."
  "Listen, I only want to have to be bait
once," Paige said, taking a loud slurp of her
diet soda. "I'm going to make it count. And
I'm going to snare us a demon."
  "That's the spirit," Cole said as he and Phoebe
bellied up to the bar. "Paige, you look
positively ... fetching."
  "Thanks for the diplomacy," Paige said. She
knew she looked outrageous, even for her. She
opened her tiny blue purse and pulled out a

  compact to swipe another smear of hot-pink
gloss onto her lips.
  "Well, I better go play fetch," she said.
Giving her sisters a tremulous wave and glancing
at Leo, who was stationed near the club door, she
plunged into the throng.
  Funny how flirting, dancing, and picking up
dudes becomes a total chore once you have to do it,
Paige thought, giving a guy on the dance floor an
exaggerated wink as she sidled up next to him.
  Ugh, smell that cologne, she complained to herself as
she began shimmying her hips and smiling at the
circle of men that quickly formed around her.
  "Hi, what's your name?" she cooed to one with a
particularly prominent-possibly demonic?-
forehead.
  "All you need to know about me, baby, is this," said
the guy. Then he reached into his pocket.
  Paige felt her heart leap.
  Is he reaching for a weapon? she thought as her breath
started coming in shallow gasps. She spun around
to look for Leo or her sisters. But she couldn't
see a thing except a whole lot of leering, dancing
men.
  Jingle, jingle, jingle.
  Fearfully Paige turned back to Mr.
Forehead. He was thrusting something at her; a key
chain.
  "That's right. I drive a Lexus,
sweetheart," he said. "Want to see it?"


  Okay, he's asking me to step outside,
Paige thought. Maybe he's our guy. Although, could
a demon possibly be this cheesy?
  Reluctantly Paige forced a sultry smile
and put her hand in Mr. Forehead's sweaty one.
  "All rightst" she agreed. Then she followed him
toward P3's door. Trailing behind him, she
hopped up and down and waved to attract her
sisters" attention. Piper spotted her and motioned
Phoebe and Cole toward the door.
  As they climbed the stairs to P3's door,
Paige cringed at the clamminess of Mr.
Forehead's hand.
  Is it because he's a demon or just a loser? she
wondered, feeling her heart pound beneath her rubber
dress.
  Mr. Forehead pulled her through the door. Paige
glanced behind her. Leo and the rest of their group were on
their way. But just as the door swung shut, Mr.
Forehead wrenched his hand from hers.
  She spun to look at him, feeling a rush of
panic make her face go hot. But instead of
confronting a demon with his eye on her thoracic
region, she saw . . . Josh Skilling? It
was! Josh Skilling, her very first, and very lamest,
Kiss.com date. Not to mention, Phoebe's ex.
  And here was the weird part. Josh had gone all
commando on her. He'd been the one who'd ripped
Mr. Forehead away from her side. Now he was
tossing the hapless player across P3's

  parking lot with more strength than a skinny guy like
him should have possessed.
  "Josh?" Paige gasped. "What are you doing
here?"
  "Rescuing you, that's what," Josh said, staring at
Paige with fiery eyes. Before she could make a
sound, he grabbed her arm. Then he whisked her
toward the corner of the building. Paige tried
to wrench away from him, but his fingers dug into her flesh
like talons. Paige glanced over her shoulder just before
Josh pulled her around the corner. The club door
was just beginning to inch open. Which meant her sisters
hadn't seen a thing. And now, they wouldn't be able
to see her, either!
  Paige opened her mouth, ready to unleash the
loudest scream she could muster. But Josh clamped his
hand over her mouth.
  "What's wrong, Paige?" Josh said. Then his
face split into an incredulous smile.
  "Wait a minute," he said. "Don't tell
me you're scared of me? Sid . . . he is the
guy you should be screaming about."
  Paige batted Josh's hand away from her face.
Luckily he unwrapped his fingers from her arm,
too. Paige wondered if he'd left a
bruise.
  "Sid?" Paige breathed. She peered at Josh
in confusion. He knew Mr. Forehead by name? "You
know him?"
  "That guy is such trouble," Josh said. "Not a


  gentleman at all, let me tell you. I'm
surprised you haven't caught wind of his
reputation."
  "Been too busy ... on the Internet, I
guess," Paige said weakly.
  "And I'm glad of that," Josh said. "You know
Paige, I really liked you when we went out the other
night."
  "You did?" Paige said. Josh was acting almost
normal now. He even seemed a little sweet.
  But as she peered into his eyes, she realized-
something was off. His stare was too intense. Too
focused. Despite his warm words, his voice was
remote. The natural friendliness of the other night had
disappeared.
  "I did, Paige," Josh said. "In fact,
I'm glad I ran into you. And not so I could
rescue you from that skank, Sid."
  "Why else?" Paige said apprehensively.
She leaned back against the clammy brick wall of
P3's alley. Her eyes shifted away from
Josh's just for an instant. She was really, really
hoping to see Phoebe, Piper, or the guys
emerging from the darkness. But they were nowhere to be seen.
  "Because," Josh said, leaning in. His voice got
deeper, almost robotic. And his face began
to change too, darkening into a sinister glower. Paige
could feel his breath-hot and fetid-gust onto her
face. "You've got my heart."
  Paige glanced down and saw Josh's hand, reaching
toward her chest. His arm was shaking,

  as if infused with some sort of electricity. And
as his fingertips brushed the bare skin above the low-cut
bodice of her dress, his nails instantly grew
into glinting talons. In fact, his entire hand
transformed into a metallic, clawlike, lethal
weapon.
  Paige recoiled, pressing herself back into the
wall. Her mouth flew open and she tried to scream.
But she felt as if her lungs had collapsed.
She had no air to breathe, much less scream.
  Paige felt one, silvery nail pierce her
skin. Heat shot into her chest with a searing rush and a
rivulet of blood spilled onto her skin.
  And at last pain broke Paige's silence.
  "AAAAIIIGGGH!" she shrieked, trying to squirm
away from Josh's mutated, menacing hand. She
grabbed his robotic wrist and tried to push it away,
but he was like a pillar of stone. He wasn't
budging.
  Instead he pressed on, gouging another knife-like
claw into her chest. Paige screamed again, then choked
out a terrified sob.
  "Pipeeeeeeer!" she yelled.
"Phooooeeeee-was
  "Hi-yah!"
  Before Paige even saw her coming, Phoebe's
foot connected with Josh's head. He crashed to the
ground, leaving a long gash on Paige's arm as he
fell.
  Phoebe had launched into him with such a powerful
roundhouse kick that her feet flew out


  from under her as well. She landed on top of Josh
with a painful thud.
  "He's the demon!" Paige screamed. "Watch
out!"
  Phoebe quickly rolled off of Josh, then pushed
herself into a reverse handspring. She landed on her
feet, in full kung-fu fighting stance. At the
same time, Josh stumbled to his feet too. He
lashed out at Phoebe with his talons, but she ducked
the strike easily.
  Then Paige saw Phoebe's eyes travel
to Josh's face. She blanched. Her fists fell
to her sides and her mouth popped open.
  "Josh?" she squeaked.
  "Josh?" Cole bellowed. "Josh, the "friend"?
This guy is suddenly everywhere you go!"
  "And he's also a demon!" Piper said, stepping
forward with gritted teeth. She raised her arms and
reared back. Paige knew what was coming next. With
one flick of her fingers, Piper was going to blow
Josh to smithereens. The first time Paige had seen
Piper do this, she'd completely freaked. I mean,
who else has a big sister who'd make you tea and
cookies one moment, then explode villains the
next?
  Not that Paige was complaining now.
  She squeezed her eyes shut and braced herself for the
boom.
  But what she heard instead was Phoebe, calling
out, "No! Wait!"

  Paige's eyes flew open as she saw Piper
hesitate and glare at Phoebe.
  "What the-was Piper said.
  And that was the only window Josh needed. While
Piper stared at her sister, the demon spun on his
heel and fled. Within seconds he'd ducked into a
shadow and rounded a corner. Piper took off after
him, pounding the pavement impressively in her high
heels and leather pants. But as she hit the end of the
alley and turned to the right, her shoulders slumped.
  Josh had gotten away.
  Piper turned and stalked back down the alley,
glaring at her sister.
  ""No, wait?"'" she spat through gritted
teeth. "You just cost us our demon, Phoebe. And
you may have cost another innocent her life!"

  WatCHILD-ED her sister stalk down the alley,
glaring at her with venom. Phoebe hadn't seen
Piper this mad since she used Piper's favorite
whisk to highlight her hair.
  "What were you thinking?!" Piper demanded, coming to a
halt in front of Phoebe and crossing her arms
over her chest.
  "Yeah, he was our guy," Paige said. "And
I've got the bloody welts to prove it. Um,
Leo, could I get some healing over here?"
  Phoebe felt tears well up in her eyes as
she looked at her little sister's super-pale skin.
Two horrible-looking puncture wounds in her chest
were oozing blood, and a gash on her bicep looked
raw and ugly. Leo ran up to Paige and placed
his hands on her wounds. A white glow emanated from
his palms and in a moment, the blood melted away.
Paige's skin was flawless once again.

  Which could not be said for Phoebe's relationship with
Cole. Not after she'd just saved the life of her
sorry ex. If Cole had been angry with
Phoebe, she could have handled it. But by the clench in his
jaw and the hooded look that shadowed his blue eyes,
she could tell he was worse than mad. He was
hurt. And confused.
  "Phoebe," he said in a low, stiff voice.
"Do you want to explain to me what just happened?"
  "I do," Phoebe said. Then her voice stopped
in her throat. She bit her lip, and started
to talk. Then she paused again and put her finger to her
chin.
  "Okay, here's the thing," she finally choked out.
"I stopped Piper because ..."
  Phoebe trailed off and stared helplessly at her
family. Why had she saved Josh
Skilling-a.k.a., heartsucking demon from hell-from
being vanquished? She didn't like him. She didn't
even know him anymore! And, she had to face it,
she'd had boyfriends turn into demons in the past.
She'd had no problem turning them into little poofs of
smoke.
  So why had she made an exception for Josh?
  "I guess I just . . . you know, blast from the
past and all," Phoebe yammered. "It just caught
me off guard."
  "Uh-huh," Cole said. "Okay, Phoebe.
Whatever you say."
  "Cole . . ." Phoebe began, but then she
stopped herself. What could she say? The deed


  was done. And she didn't even know what it meant,
other than . . . maybe she really wasn't bride
material! She watched Cole wander away, knowing that
his perfect posture and squared shoulders were only
masking his hurt pride.
  Sighing, Phoebe turned back to her sisters.
Paige was skimming her fingers over her phantom
wounds. Then she shook her head in confusion.
  "Wait a minute," she sputtered. "I'm just
finding it a little hard to believe that Josh Skilling,
thirty-year-old software designer and Kiss.com
subscriber, is also a demon!"
  "It's always hard to believe, honey," Piper
said, giving Cole a quick glance. Luckily he was
out of earshot. "We've all swapped spit with
demons along the way."
  "Ex-cuse me, but I did not swap spit with
Josh Skilling!" Paige protested.
  This time it was Phoebe Piper was eyeballing.
Phoebe rolled her eyes and said, "Okay, can we
stop with the discussing of Josh Skilling's bodily
fluids and move on to his manicure? Those were some
pretty killer claws!"
  "Yeah, definitely demonic, I'd say,"
Piper said.
  "Well, there's one way to find out for sure,"
Phoebe said. "We have to find Josh."
  "Naturally," Cole interjected sarcastically.
Phoebe looked up in surprise. Cole had
rejoined the group, but he was clearly still seething.
  "Cole," Phoebe said, "I'm sorry I
made that stupid mistake. And we definitely
need to talk

  about it. But right now innocents are at stake."
  "I know," Cole said, and Phoebe was sure she
saw his eyes soften, just a little. "G. I'll be
back at the Manor if you need me."
  "I do, you know," Phoebe said tremulously.
"Need you."
  Cole looked at his feet quickly. Then he
nodded brusquely and walked away.
  "Why don't you go with him?" Piper said to Leo.
"You go have some guy time. The Power of Three can
take it from here."
  "All right," Leo said, giving Piper a quick
peck and glancing at Phoebe. "Maybe I'll,
uh, give one of those relationship quizzes another
chance."
  "Hel-lo," Phoebe blurted. "I can hear
you! It was just a stupid mistake. It doesn't
mean Cole and I are in trouble."
  "Uh, we better hit it," Piper said, widening
her eyes at Leo. "Be ready to orb in if we
need you, okay?"
  "You got it," Leo said, before turning to trot after
Cole.
  Phoebe and her sisters headed for the SUV.
  "Well, where should we look for demonic Josh?"
Paige said. "Is there some after hours club for
boogeymen in this burg?"
  "Paige, we live in San Francisco,"
Piper said. "There are no demon bars. My
guess is Josh has probably gotten himself off
the streets."


  Then she gave Phoebe a meaningful look.
  "All right, all right, I do know where his apartment
is," Phoebe said, rolling her eyes.
  Paige stifled a laugh as she crawled into the
backseat.
  "Ah-ah-ah," Phoebe said, turning to glare
at her from the front seat. "Need I bring up your
last beau, Lung Chow? We've all made some
less-than-savvy dating choices, haven't we?"
  "Touche," Paige said, though her lips were still
quivering with laughter.
  "Piper," Phoebe said, turning around to glare
through the windshield. "Just drive. I'll tell you
where to go."
  Fifteen minutes later the Halliwells were
parked on the street outside a funky old apartment
building. Phoebe peered out the window and saw a
light on in Josh's apartment, a second floor
studio around the back.
  "Well, if he does indeed still live here,"
Phoebe said, "it looks like he's home."
  "And there's a back stairwell," Piper noted
as she followed Phoebe's gaze. "Perfect.
Let's move."
  The sisters tiptoed down a walkway beside the
building, then slowly climbed the ram-shackled
wooden fire escape to Josh's door. When they
reached the landing, Phoebe peeked inside.

  "I see him," she whispered. She was looking
into a brightly lit kitchen. Directly beyond the
kitchen, through a large, open doorway, was the living
room. The lights were off in the living room, but in the
shadows Phoebe could just make out Josh. She
couldn't tell what he was doing-all she could see was
his back.
  Then Phoebe caught her breath. She saw a
flash of silver glint in the light of the kitchen. Then
she heard a muffled scream.
  "It looks like Josh has found some other company
for the evening," Piper cried.
  "Stand back," Phoebe barked at her sisters.
Then she balled her fists beneath her chin, spun around
quickly, and used the momentum to slam her foot
into Josh's kitchen door. She felt the door
splinter beneath her heel with a satisfying cracking
noise.
  Piper thrust her hands through the rough hole in the
door and flicked her fingers.
  Instantly Josh and his terrified prey froze.
All sounds that might have been rattling around the
apartment-the humming of the refrigerator, the drip of a
leaky faucet, or the hiss of a radiator-
halted as well. The witches plunged into the eerily
quiet apartment.
  Paige looked frantically around the spare
apartment for something that could be used to fight off the
demon. But it was a total bachelor pad with nothing
but a cheap dinette set, a foam-stuffed couch,
mini-blinds on the windows, not


  even a dishtowel hanging on the refrigerator
door.
  Then she glanced down at the leather trench coat
she'd thrown over her slinky dress in the car. She
ripped off its belt and tossed it triumphantly
to Phoebe. Phoebe and Piper positioned themselves
on either side of Josh, ready to grab his hands. And
Paige wrapped her arms around Josh's "date"-a
beautiful woman who couldn't have been more than
twenty-one. Her blue eyes were horrified-
bulging and watery.
  They were ready.
  Paige nodded at Piper, who used another
flick of her fingers to unfreeze Josh and the girl.
The minute Josh started moving, Phoebe and Piper
pounced on him. Phoebe grabbed the hand with the glinting
claws and wrenched it behind his back, yanking his shoulder
joint painfully.
  Meanwhile Paige pulled the innocent away from
Josh with an awkward jerking motion that sent both of
them tumbling to the floor. The girl looked at the
bizarre scene that had unfolded while she was frozen
and burst into tearful screams.
  "You're okay," Paige told her. "You just
need to get out of here. Now!"
  The girl didn't need to be told twice. She
stumbled to her feet and bolted through the splintered
door.
  While the innocent's footsteps echoed down the
back stairs, Piper and Phoebe pulled Josh

  into the kitchen, shoved him into a straight-back
chair, and wrapped Paige's belt around his chest.
In two shakes he was bound, but not-
unfortunately-gagged.
  "Unleash me," Josh sputtered, glaring at
Phoebe. "You'll be sorry, should you not. Sorrier
even than the rest of them."
  "What are you talking about, Josh?" Phoebe
spat, leaning into Josh's face. "I want an
explanation. That was my sister you were trying to murder
back there at P3."
  "Your sister?" Josh spat back. "Who are
you?"
  Phoebe pulled back in shock. Was it possible
that Josh didn't recognize her?
  Something isn't right, here, Phoebe thought. Either that
or Josh the Demon is trying to psyche me out.
Well it isn't going to work. Not a second time
around.
  "Maybe this will remind you who I am, Josh,"
she said. Then she reared back and threw a punch that
connected neatly with Josh's cheekbone. The strength
she'd built up during all her workouts with Cole
really paid off. Josh's head whipped to the side like a
pinwheel.
  "Uh-oh," Paige said as Josh's head wobbled
for a moment, then sagged limply. "I don't think
we're going to get any explanation out of Josh now.
You knocked him out cold, Phoebe. You kung-fu
queen."
  "And that will make it all the easier to vanquish his
cowardly butt," Piper announced. She


  reared back, ready to blow Josh up. But before she
could make the lethal motion, a gooey substance
began oozing out of his ear.
  "Okay, what's that?" Piper asked, her hands still
poised next to her ears.
  Phoebe stared at the silvery, gelatinous goo
dripping down the side of Josh's face. It
wasn't gray matter-even she couldn't have done that
kind of damage with one punch. And it certainly
wasn't blood.
  As the sisters stared, the silvery trickle turned
into a gush. It spilled off Josh's shoulder but before
it hit the kitchen linoleum, the rivulet veered
upward. It shot into the middle of the room. Then the
silver gush began to expand.
  "This is definitely not what I expected,"
Paige said, staring in fascination as the goo began
to elongate and hollow out. It continued to grow until
it became a giant tube of some sort. At the end
of the tube, a giant mouth began to take shape,
complete with rubbery, mushy lips.
  And then, as if the tube had unleashed a giant
sneeze, the sisters were buffeted by a hot blast of
air.
  "I guess this is some sort of demonic
weapon," Phoebe called over the loud rush of
wind.
  The surge of air didn't stop. In fact it
grew stronger every second, speeding up and spinning
around itself like a tiny tornado. All the while the
wind made a horrendous, screeching howl.

  "What are you waiting for?" Paige screamed
to Piper, her hair whipping around her cheeks.
"Zap him before that... thing gets any bigger!"
  "But we don't know what that thing is!" Piper
yelled back. "All we know is that this demon
spewed it out. Kill the demon and we might be
stuck with something even worse."
  "When did you get so logical?" Phoebe
shrieked at Piper.
  "When I became the oldest Charmed One,"
Piper yelled back, locking sad, panicked
eyes with Phoebe for a brief instant. Then they
turned back to the silvery blob taking shape before
them.
  And its shape was clearly that of a long, blustery
tunnel now. Its opening, hovering above the floor and
pulsating, was about six feet in diameter. The
interior of the tunnel, which seemed to extend way beyond
Josh's little kitchen, was lined with gushy, silvery
stuff.
  "Is it animal or mineral, do you think?"
Piper called.
  "It looks way too carnivorous to be
vegetable," Paige shrieked. She grabbed
Piper's arm and clung to her in terror.
  And that's when Josh woke up.
  He shook his head blearily, then slowly lifted
his eyes to look around. After gaping for a stunned moment
at the esophaguslike thing that had taken over his little
apartment, he


  blinked hard and stared at the sisters.
  "Paige?" he called. "What are you doing he-
Phoebe?! Oh my God. Phoebe . . .
what's . . . what's happening?"
  "You're telling me you don't know?" Phoebe
yelled, planting her feet angrily on the
floor. The wind seemed to be whipping around her
harder. Her hair was fluttering over her eyes,
half-blinding her. She had to scream to be heard.
  "You caused all this!" she continued. "You with your
big, stupid claw-hand and oozy ear!"
  "What?" Josh yelled back. "What are you
talking about? And how did you get here? And . . . and
what is that thing8j Phoebe, untie me.
Please!"
  Phoebe looked back at her sisters, who were
fighting off the wind too busy to pay attention.
Josh seemed so different now. Or rather he seemed the
same. This was the Josh she'd known. The voice, the
face-he was familiar again.
  Or maybe he was conning her.
  The decision was hers. Remembering Piper's
rage in the alley, not to mention Cole's confusion,
Phoebe shook her head. She was going to do the right
thing.
  "No," she announced to Josh. She held her
hand in front of her eyes, which were stinging from the searing
wind. "You're a demon. I won't be duped."

  "Demon?" Josh screamed. "Phoebe, I know
our relationship didn't end well, but this is
extreme!"
  "I-I don't know . . ." Phoebe began.
But she was interrupted by a harsh, scraping sound.
  "Aaaaar)h!" Josh screamed. His chair had just
lurched three feet across the hardwood floor.
Three feet closer to the tunnel. He was being
drawn inside.
  "Phoebe, get away!" Piper yelled.
  Phoebe nodded vaguely, stepping back a
bit. But as Josh's chair was jerked sideways
again, her hand flew to her mouth. The chair tipped
over and Josh crashed to the floor. He struggled
madly to free himself of the leather belt, but Piper's
knots were too tight. He was trapped.
  "This is era-Phoebe! Paige? Somebody.
Please!" Josh screamed. "Help me!"
  Without another word, Phoebe leapt over to Josh.
  "Phoebe, what're you doing?" Piper yelled.
  "It's him," Phoebe called back to her. "The
old Josh."
  Josh's chair was being dragged continuously across the
floor. He was struggling so hard, his head was hitting
the floor with pathetic thunks.
  Phoebe lunged for him, wrapping her arms around
his chest from behind. The back of the chair dug painfully
into her ribs, but she hung on and braced herself.
  "Noooo!" she heard Paige shout. Then


  Paige's voice was cut off by the tornado of
wind. Phoebe's feet scrabbled on the floor as
she pulled back on Josh's body.
  But he continued to inch toward the mouth of the tunnel.
  And he was dragging Phoebe with him.
  Threading one arm through the slats of Josh's chair
back, she twisted around to see Piper and Paige
teetering on the edge of what looked like a whirlpool
of wind. Phoebe realized now what she'd done.
She'd jumped across a divide. Whatever was
outside of the tornado-which was now bristling with stuff from
Josh's apart-
  ment, from books to a lamp was safe. And whatever
wa
  to a small ottoman- greater-than trapped
inside, was
  going down the tunnel.
  Namely Phoebe and Josh.
  Piper was waving her hands frantically, but
clearly her magic was useless against this demonic
vacuum cleaner. So she reached into the whirl, trying
to grab Phoebe.
  Phoebe waved her away.
  "Stay back!" she screamed. "Don't get
sucked in!"
  And then Piper disappeared from view. As did
Paige and the rest of Josh's apartment.
  The mouth of the tunnel had gobbled them up.
  The next thing Phoebe knew, she and Josh were
tumbling through the tunnel at an insane speed.
Phoebe, screaming, felt the skin on her

  face tighten as they plunged into a silvery,
mushy, seemingly endless abyss. As Phoebe
clung desperately to Josh, who might have been
yelling even louder than she was, her mind flashed
on the last words she'd screamed to her sister.
  "Don't get sucked in!" she'd ordered her.
  See, that's the problem with me, she thought as
panicked tears began streaming from her eyes. I
never follow my own advice.
  Phoebe had no idea how long she and Josh had
been in freefall. Actually it wasn't a total
freefall. The walls of the tunnel had seemed
to close in on them, encasing them in slippery, soft,
sucking stuff. It literally felt like they were being
squeezed and swallowed through an enormous
esophagus.
  "Please let us not be the afternoon snack of some
enormous, meat-eating creature," Phoebe
whispered. She gazed up at Josh. He was about
fifteen feet above her. Finally he'd untangled
himself from the chair. The force of the fall must have untied
the knots. He too had stopped screaming and seemed
to be in shock. His limbs hung limply,
defeated.
  Since she had nothing else to do as her body
hurtled through the abyss, Phoebe repeated her little
prayer.
  Please let me not be plummeting into the
acid-filled stomach of some space creature, she
thought.


  Or into some underworld pool of fire. Or some other
dimension where everybody has pointy ears or two
heads. Let it be a slow road to China. Or some
supernatural amusement park. Or even a
portal to another-
  "Argh!" she screamed as she felt her butt hit
something hard.
  Then she shrieked again as she saw Josh's butt
coming right at her head. She rolled out of the way just before
he made his own awkward crash landing.
  Phoebe laid on her stomach for a moment,
breathing hard, her face pressed into the unyielding
surface on which she'd landed. She could see Josh,
flopped out next to her. And she could see that the hard
surface seemed to be made of stone tiles.
  Stone, Phoebe thought. That's an earthly
substance. That's a good start.
  Painfully, she lifted her head off the floor and
lurched to her hands and knees. She coughed raspily
as she brushed silvery gook from her clothes.
  I had to wear my favorite suede pants and a
halter top to P3, she thought irritably. So not
a practical travel outfit.
  She lurched to her feet and Josh did the same.
  "Where are we?" he said, looking around wildly.
Phoebe followed his gaze. They'd landed in a
small chamber, constructed of the same, sand-colored
stone that lined the floor.

  Phoebe pointed to a wall opposite them. It
was flanked by openings, hung with rough curtains,
instead of doors. And on the wall was a mural. It
was straight out of a natural history museum's
ancient Egypt exhibition. The figures in the
mural, who all seemed to be bowing to a king, wore
long bound beards and striped headdresses.
  There was just one thing that jarred Phoebe.
  This was no ancient, dusty relic. This painting was
fresh and very recent-looking.
  Phoebe looked around at the rough sandstone
architecture, the homespun curtains, and the stone
benches. And then she hung her head.
  "Not again," she sighed.
  "Not again, what?" Josh said. "What, Phoebe?
Where the hell are we? Have you been here before?"
  "Not here," she said. "But I've been
to Massachusetts in the 1600's and San
Francisco in the 1920's. I've been
possessed by an antique mobster's moll. I know
the signs."
  "The signs of what?" Josh demanded.
"Phoebe, you're making no sense."
  "The signs of time travel," she said
matter-of-factly. "But on the bright side, we
haven't landed in some supernatural digestive
system."
  Josh seemed less-than-comforted. He was gazing
at Phoebe, looking utterly lost.
Instinctively they both looked at the ceiling.
  The silvery maw that had just deposited them


  into this place had disappeared. All they saw now was
a low, primitive stone ceiling.
  "This is not good," Josh said in a trembly
voice.
  "Finally, Josh," Phoebe breathed, trying
to stop her hands from shaking, "we agree on something."

  DIOOOO! [31ch"G was screaming. Through a
blur of tears, she watched Phoebe and Josh
slide toward the mouth of the bizarre, mouthlike
tunnel that had, somehow, sprung from Josh's left
ear.
  Paige saw Phoebe glance over her shoulder and
lock eyes with Piper. She knew Phoebe and
Piper both lived in constant fear of losing another
sister. And traveling between them, in that one
instantaneous look, Paige knew was a wealth of
communication-Don't go. I'm sorry. Good-bye.
  Piper lurched forward, but Paige grabbed her
shoulders and yanked her away from the swirl of air
howling around the tunnel's mouth.
  "You'll only get sucked in!" she screamed.
  Phoebe, too, waved Piper away and called
out to her. But her words were drowned by the howling of the wind.


  The chair to which Josh was bound scraped across the
hardwood floor, leaving splintery gashes in the
boards. But for some reason, Phoebe hung on.
  And when Josh, chair and all, was sucked into the
pulsating, throatlike tunnel, Phoebe went with
him.
  In a blink they disappeared from view. Immediately
afterward the tunnel's pulsating opening began
to crumple in on itself. The mouth got smaller and
smaller, until it closed completely. Then with a
last, loud whoosh of air, the tunnel itself contracted
until it simply poofed away.
  Piper fell to her knees as Paige spun around
in confusion. Josh's apartment was destroyed. Broken
plates and shredded books littered the floor.
Several windows had shattered. A lamp was crushed
and lying on its side. The pillows had all been
sucked from the living room couch.
  And the worst part was the silence. A cold, eerie,
perfectly still silence. Paige almost wondered if
sound would emerge when she opened her mouth.
  "What... just... happened?" she croaked.
  "The usual," Piper said, stifling a sob.
"Some horrible, supernatural force has stolen one
of the Charmed Ones. And now we have to get her back."
  Piper lurched to her feet and stalked through the
kitchen toward the splintered back door. She

  batted at a chair that blocked her path and sent
it skidding across the room. Then, with Paige at her
heels, she stomped down the stairs and ran to their
SUV. The women jumped into the car and Paige
barely had time to close the passenger door before
Piper skidded out into the street.
  The quickest route home was through one of the city's most
hopping bar strips. But Piper had forgotten it was
Saturday night. The street was clogged with
college kids cruising slowly in their sports
cars and Jeeps. Pretty soon Piper and
Paige's car was stuck in standstill traffic.
  "Dammit," Piper said, glaring at the car in
front of them. It was bouncing to the beat of some
bass-heavy hip hop. "We don't have time for this!"
  Paige bit her lip and felt another wave of
panicky tears clog her throat. She gazed
helplessly at the side of the street, listlessly
scanning the throngs of scantily clad clubbers who
were stalking down the sidewalk or waiting in line
to get into some trendy new spot.
  Then she gave a start.
  "I know that guy," she said, pointing to a slim young
man with auburn hair. "That's Stuart. I went out
with him yesterday. He's from Kiss.com."
  "And? ..." Piper said. She was still glaring at the
cars in front of her.
  "And he's with a girl," Paige said, following
Stuart with her eyes. He was walking with his


  arm through that of a pretty young woman. They were
cruising pretty quickly down the sidewalk.
  "Paige," Piper said, "isn't it a little early
to get jealous. You had one date with the guy."
  "I'm so not jealous," Paige said, squinting at
Stuart and the woman. "I mean, Stuart was not
exactly hunky. Unless you like that skinny, short,
bespectacled Woody Allen type. What I am
is ... suspicious. Does it look to you like that
girl wants to be dragged down the street that way?"
  "What?" Piper said. She leaned over
Paige's lap to peer out the car window. They both
stared for a moment as Stuart's hand tightened around the
girl's upper arm. She gave him a sidelong
look that was part irritation and part fear.
  And then, abruptly, Stuart ducked into an
alley, roughly jerking the woman around the corner.
  "I think we should check this out," Paige said,
gnawing her lip.
  "We don't have time!" Piper protested. "We
have to focus on Phoebe."
  "We're stuck in traffic anyway," Paige
countered. "And think about it, Piper, there was more than
one woman killed. Maybe there's more than one
heartsucker! Maybe Josh wasn't the only
one."
  Piper stared dubiously at the mouth of the dark
alley for a moment. Then without another word she jumped
out of the SUV and flicked her

  fingers. Instantly the entire street froze.
Paige gaped at the scene-a bouncing raver was
suspended in midair; a couple was locked in a
kiss; a slice of pizza was suspended, just as it was
about to flop over onto some guy's shirt front.
  Then Paige shook her head and scurried after
Piper, who was sprinting for the alley. After all, their
time was limited. You never knew when the magic was
going to wear off, spontaneously unfreezing time and,
perhaps, catching the witches in an awkwardly magic
position.
  When Piper and Paige plowed into the alley, they
both gasped.
  "You were right," Piper breathed. The frozen scene
was terrifying. The girl was cringing against the alley's
dirty brick wall, just as Paige had been
earlier that night. And just like Josh, Stuart was looming
over his prey with his right hand reared back. He
sported the same glinting silver nails and
malevolent muscle as Josh too.
  "Okay, I've had just about enough of this," Piper
said. "Explosion time."
  But Paige grabbed Piper's arm.
  "Wait," she said. "Think about this. Didn't it
seem like Josh changed right after that oozy, tunnel
thing sprang out of his head."
  "Changed?" Piper sputtered. "Well, if you
mean redirecting his violence from you to Phoebe,
sure."
  "No," Paige said, staring at Stuart's face,
which was locked into a soulless grimace. He

  bore almost no resemblance to the compassionate
social worker Paige had had lunch with just yesterday.
"I mean, Josh was all about his heart-sucking thing.
And then, as soon as the portal popped out of him,
he was . . . back to the old Josh. He seemed
pretty clueless about demons. He suddenly
recognized Phoebe. And Phoebe suddenly had
a change of heart too. She knew Josh. She
must have seen the change."
  "Paige, what are you saying?" Piper was staring
at her sister in weary confusion.
  "I'm saying . . . maybe Josh isn't a
demon," Paige said slowly. "But he was
possessed by one."
  "I've gotta admit, the signs point to it,
but..." Piper said. She rubbed her fingertips together
and glanced at Stuart. Paige could tell Piper was
just itching for a vanquish.
  "So, here's the thing," Paige said. "Maybe
Stuart's in the same fix-possessed by an evil
something-or-other. If that's the case, that makes him
an innocent too. So we can't vanquish him."
  "But we could use him," Piper said, her eyes
lighting up. "Maybe, if we exorcised the
demon from Stuart, it could help lead us to Phoebe
and Josh."
  "Perfecto," Paige said, snapping her fingers.
Then she looked worriedly at her watch. "But
we're clocking in at about sixty seconds. I
think an unfreeze is imminent, don't you?"
  "Let's grab him," Piper said.

  "And, uh, let's get help," Paige said
nervously. She looked skyward and called,
"Leo!"
  Instantly a man-shaped swirl of white lights
cascaded into the alley. Within a few seconds the
orb corporealized into Leo. His shirt was rumpled
and untucked and he was holding a half-eaten burger
in his hand. Paige glanced at Piper and saw her
sister give her husband an exasperated look.
She could practically read Piper's thoughts:
Whatever happened to my knight in shining armor? Now
he's just a humdrum husband!
  "Midnight snack," Leo said to Piper
sheepishly. He tossed the burger into a Dumpster
as soon as he saw the witches" drawn faces.
"Where's Phoebe?"
  "We'll explain later. Right now, we need your
help," Paige said, nodding at Stuart. "We've
got to take this dude home without letting him pull
our heartstrings, if you know what I mean."
  "What?" Leo sputtered. "He's the demon,
now? What about Josh?"
  "That would fall into the "explaining later"
category, sweetie," Piper said through gritted
teeth. "For the moment, could you just orb this guy home and
tie him up? I know taking hostages isn't our
style, but if if s going to get Phoebe back,
I'll try anything."
  I've got to get out of this mess, Phoebe
thought. I'll try anything.
  She and Josh had been dumped by the silvery


  portal about ten minutes earlier. After shaking the
shock out of their heads, they'd left the chamber where
they'd landed and gone to explore.
  Their findings were as bad as Phoebe had feared.
  First they'd crept through a passageway that had
taken them past a series of bed chambers. The
set-ups-low onyx beds with uncomfortable, wooden
headrests, chamber pots, and rough glass
mosaics-were decidedly ancient. Then, turning
a corner into another hallway, they'd found an open
window hung with a rough, papyrus shade. Peeking
through, Phoebe had seen a bustling city street
filled with people in rough tunics and sandals. Goats and
pigs were being herded down the street by black-haired
boys carrying long sticks. The buildings across the
street were made of sandstone and fronted by Roman
columns.
  Since the building in which Phoebe and Josh had
landed was situated on a hill, they could see much of the
city. There was no sign of modern life.
  Anywhere.
  In fact the signs of ancient life weren't
even complete. As they surveyed the scene, Josh
suddenly gasped and grabbed Phoebe's arm.
  "Look!" he whispered, pointing over the city's
roofs. In the distance Phoebe saw an expanse of
desert. And smack-dab in the middle

  was a pyramid. Or at least.. . the beginnings of
one. The giant structure was only half-finished.
Its pointed top was a work-in-progress.
Phoebe could even spot workers using ropes and
pulleys to haul a giant block up the inclined
pyramid wall.
  "Ancient Egypt, it is," Phoebe said,
looking at Josh with scared eyes.
  "What did you do to me?" Josh blurted, glaring
at her.
  "Excuse me?" Phoebe sputtered. "What
did I do to you? You're the one who spewed the time
portal out of your head."
  "What are you talking about?" Josh said. "One
minute I'm on a lame date with this girl named
Paige. The next minute she's in my apartment.
She's changed clothes. And you're there beating my
brains out, after which, I get sucked into some sort of
vortex that spits me out a thousand years ago."
  "Wait a minute," Phoebe sputtered. "Are
you telling me you don't remember anything after your
date with Paige? That was two days ago!"
  "Or a thousand years in the future, depending on
how you look at it," Josh said. "Okay, this is
too freaky to even comprehend. So let's just try
to figure out where we are and how to get back to San
Francisco."
  "Fine," Phoebe snapped, spinning around in
irritation. She started to stalk down the hallway, but
almost immediately, she skidded to a halt.


  She heard a rustling at the other end of the
hall-then the unmistakable shuffle of footsteps.
  "Trouble," she squeaked over her shoulder to Josh.
She glanced down at her gooey halter top and then
at Josh's clunky sneakers. "Someone's coming. And
we definitely don't fit in."
  "Well, where are we supposed to hide?" Josh
hissed desperately. Phoebe glanced around. He
was right. There was nothing in this long, narrow hallway but
sandstone walls and the single window they'd just been
peeking through. Phoebe spun around desperately,
then shrugged and dropped into a kung-fu ready stance.
  "If there's nowhere to flee," she whispered
to Josh, "gotta fight."
  "What?!" Josh sputtered. "Phoebe
Halliwell, boxing? What happened to the party
girl I used to know?"
  The past three years of Wiccan butt-kicking
flashed through Phoebe's mind.
  "A lot's happened since we broke up," she
said to him dryly. Then she squatted and braced herself
as the shadowy figure moving down the hallway came
into view. As he stepped into the sunlight coming through the
window, Phoebe gasped again.
  If she'd needed proof that she and Josh were
strangers in a strange land, here it was. The man,
clearly a servant, was wearing a rough,
vanilla-colored tunic tied at the waist with
something that looked like woven brown hair. His own
hair

  was black and curly, cascading down his back.
In his rough hands, he held a reed basket filled
with indigo cloth. Through his smiling lips Phoebe
could see several missing teeth. And then an aroma-the
definite scent of a man living in a
predeodorant world-hit her hard.
  Then she did a double take.
  He's smiling, she thought. He's looking
straight at me and smiling like he's in the middle of a
daydream. Or maybe he's trying to psyche me out.
Maybe this is some sort of ancient Egyptian
fighting tactic. A zen thing. Or a pre-zen thing.
  Well, if that's the case, I better take the
first strike, Phoebe mused.
  She balled up her fist, reared back, and threw
a hard right hook at the guy's jaw.
  "Whoa!" she screeched as she spun out of
control. Losing her balance, she tumbled to the floor
with a loud splat. She gaped at the servant's
back as he continued to stroll down the hallway.
Then she stared up at Josh who was biting his lip
to keep from bursting out laughing.
  "Nice shot, Phoebs," he said. "Like I
said, I never thought you were the Mohammad Ali
type."
  "Hel-lo!" she said, lurching to her feet. "I
connected. That is, I would have connected if his jaw
hadn't passed right through my hand."
  "Okay, now what are you talking about?"
  "I'm talking about us not being exactly solid,"
Phoebe said. "Think about it, Josh. It's
hundreds


  of years in the past. Which means, technically, we
haven't been born yet."
  "Are you saying we're ghosts?" Josh said, his
eyes bulging.
  "Or ... preghosts," Phoebe said with a shrug.
"After all, ghosts are usually dead, right? We can't
be dead because we haven't yet lived."
  Josh threw up his hands and collapsed against the
stone wall.
  "You could have fooled me, Phoebe," he said.
"I mean, my memories of you dumping me a few
years ago are pretty vivid."
  "Oh, what an opportune time to bring that up,"
Phoebe sputtered. She "egan stalking down the
hallway toward the d) orway that the servant had
entered. "Josh, I only dumped you because you went
all cold and fishy on me. With no explanation,
I might add."
  As Josh struggled to keep up with her, Phoebe
plowed through the doorway and burst into a large room.
It looked like a banquet hall of some sort. It
was lined with Italian-looking columns and the floor
was inlaid with gold and lapis. It was beautiful!
  "This must be a palace of some kind," Phoebe
breathed, skidding to a stop.
  "Wow," Josh blurted, almost knocking into her as
Phoebe stopped in her tracks.
  For one lovely instant, Phoebe had forgotten
Josh was there. Now she gave him a baleful glare.

  "There's a stairwell," she said, pointing to a
majestic staircase on the opposite side of the
hall. "Maybe that'll lead us out of here."
  Josh hurried behind her as she descended the steps,
gazing around for some more clues that might help them get
back to her time. But she saw nothing.
  When they reached the landing, the stairwell split
into two. Phoebe shrugged and turned left,
descending more steps. These were less majestic and more
functional-encased in a low, clammy, stone
tunnel.
  "Another tunnel," she muttered. "Just my
luck."
  She and Josh went down, down, down. The air
got darker and murkier. Oil torches flamed
along the walls, staining the ceiling black and filling
the air with icky, peaty smoke.
  "Okay, this is clearly wrong," Phoebe said,
biting her lip. She turned to Josh. She hated
to rely on him but, well, he was all she had.
  "Do you think we should turn back?" she asked.
  "Or we could go toward the light down there," Josh
said, pointing over Phoebe's shoulder. She turned
and was surprised to see the tunnel culminate in a
brightly lit, open room. There were voices
murmuring inside and then, a piercing scream.
  Phoebe started and headed toward the room.


  I sure hope we're invisible to everyone here,
she thought as she cautiously slipped inside the
doorway.
  Despite herself, she gasped out loud. But none
of the people in the room-and there were several-turned to look
at them. She and Josh were truly ghosts.
  And it looked like the woman in the center of the room
was about to become one too.
  "Who are these people?" Josh blurted.
  "Torturers," Phoebe said grimly.
  The room, clearly an underground dungeon, was
littered with devices made for pain. Phoebe saw
a deep tub of water with a wide noose hanging
above it. Next to that was a set of stocks, with holes
cut in a slab of wood to immobilize a
person's head and hands.
  And in the middle of the dungeon was a giant
spiked wheel. A beautiful woman with black
hair and a sweaty, pale forehead was stretched onto
the wheel. Her wrists, as well as her ankles, were
tied with a leather thong. And two burly men with bare
chests and Roman skirts were slowly tightening the
leather straps. With each twist of the leather, the
spikes dug deeper into the woman's flesh.
Spots of blood stained her long, simple
dress. Other men stood nearby. One held a
whip. Another had a small mallet.
  I don't even want to know what that's for,
Phoebe thought, cringing at the woman's pain.

  She was clearly in agony. But she didn't
seem weakened or defeated. In fact she was quite the
feisty torture victim.
  She screamed a single word-in an ancient
language that Phoebe didn't understand-at the
ceiling. Then she shook her head defiantly.
  "What is she refusing?" Phoebe whispered
to Josh.
  A deep voice spoke in the same
unintelligible language. Phoebe looked up from
the poor woman's writhing body to see a man step
from behind the thick, wooden post of a gallows. He was
a paunchy-gutted brute with a squashed nose and
long hair that hung in greasy strings down his back.
But he was clearly the noblest man in the room. His
tunic was made of white silk edged in gold. His
sandals snaked up his thick calves. And on his
head, he wore a thin gold wreath.
  "He must be a king or something," Josh said.
  "What does he want from her?" Phoebe
wondered.
  "Catherine," the man intoned.
  "Catherine!" Phoebe whispered. "Did you hear
that?"
  The man thumped his heart with his fist and made his
demand again. Then he took a gold ring from a
pocket in his tunic and shoved it roughly onto her
left ring finger.
  "Oh," Phoebe said dryly, as she realized
what


  the king was demanding. "Nice way to propose
marriage!"
  The woman-Catherine-gritted her teeth and stared
defiantly at the man.
  He squinted at her. Her silence was clearly a
refusal. The king stared at her and spat on the
floor. Then he jerked his head in a brusque
nod.
  Each of the servants gave their leather straps
another violent twist.
  "Arrrrgggh!" the woman wailed. Her screams were
so loud that Phoebe covered her ears with her hands and
shuddered. When Catherine's pain subsided into shuddering
sobs, Phoebe looked up at Josh.
  "And I thought I was afraid of commitment," she
joked weakly. "What have we fallen into, Josh?
And how are we going to get away from this awful
place?"

  Pg and Piper finally got back to the Manor, it
was in the wee hours of Sunday morning. Leo and
Cole had tied the writhing Stuart to a chair in the
attic. And their hands were full.
  "Thank goodness you're home," Leo said as the
sisters bounded into the attic. "The guy kept winging out
his claws and slicing through the rope we used to tie him
up. Finally Cole and I had to resort to bars."
  "You're handy around the house, Leo, I must
admit," Piper said, raising her eyebrows at the
metal rods coiled around Stuart's torso. "I
wonder if there's a quiz that will give you extra
points for that!"
  While Leo rolled his eyes, the oblivious
Stuart spotted Paige and Piper. His eyes went
glassy.
  "Paige," he said. "I'm so happy to see you
again. God, you're even more gorgeous than you were when
we went out-"


  "Save it," Paige said, rolling her eyes and
taunting Stuart. "I know what you're after. And
you'll never get it. Cross my heart."
  She made an X over her heart with her
finger-tip.
  "AARRRRGGGH!" Stuart screamed, writhing so hard
that the bars holding him down left bloody
scratches on his arms. "Let me go. You will be
sorry, should you not. You have no idea who you are dealing
with."
  "Oh, please," Paige said, shaking her head and
turning to Piper. "These guys are like a broken
record."
  ""Broken" being the operative word," Piper
spat. She planted herself in front of Stuart and
bent over, thrusting her face into his. "That's what
you're going to be unless you start talking."
  She thumped lightly on Stuart's head with her
knuckles.
  "If you don't tell us what the deal is here, and
what's happened to our sister," Piper said,
"believe me, you're the one who's going to be
sorry."
  "You will be sorry," Stuart intoned. "Sorrier
than the rest, even. You ... you will be sorry."
  Piper gazed deeper into Stuart's eyes and then
recoiled. This guy was AWOL. His pupils were
pinpricks. His voice was monotone. He was just a
vessel for some implanted evil, which meant he was
no help to them.

  "Book of Shadows," she barked, straightening up
and turning to Paige, Cole, and Leo. "I think
this guy's a dead end. We have to figure out how
to get Phoebe back ourselves."
  "But first you have to explain to us what happened!"
Cole sputtered. "Where is Phoebe?"
  Paige turned to the guys and told them all about
what had happened at Josh's apartment as Piper
ran to the antique, Victorian lectern, where they
kept the huge Book of Shadows. It wasn't
until she began flipping through its thick pages that
she was aware of her breathing. She was panting in short
gasps. She could feel the blood roaring in her
head, blocking out the sound of Paige's voice and
Cole's angry, frustrated response. She was
panicking, she knew it. But she couldn't help it.
This was her darkest fear. After Prue's death, the
thought of Phoebe in some unknown, perhaps dangerous,
place was unbearable.
  Piper started as she felt a warm, strong hand
clasp her shoulder. She turned and locked eyes with
her husband as he wrapped his arms around her.
  "Piper," he whispered. "It's going to be
okay. We'll get her back."
  Piper bit her lip and nodded, allowing herself
to sink into Leo's arms for a moment. Then she turned
back to the Book and looked up at the ceiling. Or
rather, she gazed up at the heavenly beings that she knew
were watching from above it.


  "Okay, girls," she said, imagining her mother,
Grams, maybe even Prue, gazing down at her
from that nebulous place where departed witches
reside. "I'm going to need a little help here.
Phoebe's in some other dimension, and we have to get
her back-was
  Before Piper could finish her sentence, the Book
slammed open. The pages began to flip with a
frantic whirring noise. Then, abruptly, they
stopped. Piper found herself blinking down at a
spell.
  "To rescue a wytch from points unknown," read the
ancient spell, "there must be a portal from one
dimension to the next. Portals open at the exact
moment of sunset or dawn; at midnight on a
full moon; and at the first harvesting of millet or
barley."
  "Okay, millet fields are in pretty short
supply in these parts," Paige said, peeking over
Piper's shoulder. "And we've just missed dawn.
And the next full moon is, like, nine days away."
  Piper felt despair begin to seep into her mind.
But she shook it away and turned to the group.
  "Okay, Leo, you go to the Elders and see if
they have some portal loophole," she said. Immediately
Leo closed his eyes and disappeared in a storm of
white lights.
  "Paige," Piper said, glancing back at the
Book of Shadows, "it says we need to burn some
herbs and stuff while we say the spell that will bring
Phoebe and Josh back. Can you go to the kitchen

  wo
  and grab them? We need arrowroot, sage,
suet, mustard seed, and . . . uh, millet. And a
few other items. Take a look."
  Paige quickly jotted down the ingredients and
hurried out of the attic.
  Cole stood in the middle of the room, his fists
clenched and his back rigid. Piper looked at him
sympathetically. As helpless as she felt, she
knew Cole must have felt much worse. Ever since
Phoebe had used a potion during a life-and-death
moment to take away Cole's demonic powers,
Cole had been struggling. He hated not being able
to use magic to help the witches fight off evil.
  And Piper knew it must've been eating him up
inside that he couldn't save Phoebe himself.
  "What can I do?" he said to Piper through gritted
teeth.
  Piper searched her mind for a bone to throw to Cole.
But the truth was, he was helpless. She shrugged.
  "Can you copy down the spell from the Book of
Shadows?" she offered meekly. She saw Cole's
shoulders sag.
  "Thanks for the busy work, sis," he said. "I
know what you're saying. There's nothing I can do."
  "I'm sorry," Piper choked.
  "I know," Cole said, locking eyes with her.
"Me too."
  Piper had to look away and bite her lip. She


  and Cole were in the same spot-terrified of losing
Phoebe. And if they failed to bring her back,
they'd be equally devastated.
  "You'll be sorry," said a thick voice from across
the attic. "You'll be sorrier, even than the rest
of them. You'll be sorry ..."
  Piper squeezed her eyes shut and clamped her
hands over her ears, trying to block out Stuart's
demented rant. When, a moment later, she opened her
eyes, Cole had bounded across the room. He was
looming over Stuart, glaring at him menacingly.
  "Who are you?" he demanded. "If you want
to live you'll tell me now."
  "Sorry . . ." Stuart said, his head bobbing up
and down. "Sorrier even ..."
  "Quiet," Cole roared. He lashed out at
Stuart, backhanding him across the face. Stuart's
head snapped to the side and a tiny gash opened on his
cheek. But he barely seemed to notice. He just
gazed back up at Cole with those shiny, mad eyes
and hissed, "Sorry ... sorry ... sorry."
  "Cole," Piper cried. "Leave him. He's
crazy. He doesn't know anything. And he's an
innocent."
  "Innocent," Cole blurted. "I don't think
so. Somewhere in there lurks a demon. That demon
has kidnapped my fiancee. And he's gonna
talk!"
  As he said this, he gave Stuart another
backhanded blow.

  "Ah!" Stuart cried. A gob of spit and
blood flew from his mouth as Cole's fist connected
with his face. "You'd best let me go. You'll be-was
  "Sorry?" Cole countered. "Well, I'm
willing to take that risk."
  He gave Stuart another belt. And another.
  "Cole, no!" Piper screamed.
  At that moment Paige returned to the attic.
She carried a metal bowl brimming with mossy
green herbs and smelly powders.
  "I've got it," she said. "Now
wha-Ahhhh!"
  She was staring at Cole who was pummeling Stuart
with mounting anger. Piper followed Paige's gaze
and gasped.
  A familiar silver rivulet was oozing out of
Stuart's ear.
  "Cole," Piper screamed. "Stop!"
  But there was no stopping Cole. His rage was
building with every blow.
  "Who's"-slap-"sorry"-thud-"now?" he
grunted between blows.
  As the silver goo emerging from Stuart's head
turned into a gush and the familiar tunnel began to form
in the middle of the attic, Paige and Piper
suddenly looked at each other.
  "It's a portal!" they squealed at the same
time.
  Piper grabbed the bowl of herbs from Paige's
trembling hands and ran over to the Book of Shadows.
Paige dashed to a nearby table and searched wildly
for some matches. Already the


  wind from the portal was beginning to howl around them,
whipping their hair straight above their heads. Cole
had stumbled backward and was staring at Stuart in
bewilderment.
  "Quick," Piper screamed, fighting to get to the
Book of Shadows. "Before the portal closes!
We have to do the spell!"
  Phoebe didn't think she could stand it anymore.
As she and Josh continued to cower just inside the
dungeon's entrance, the king had ordered his servants
to give Catherine's bindings two more wrenching twists.
She'd screamed in agony until her strength had
absolutely given out. But when the king had demanded
her hand in marriage one more time, she'd gritted her
teeth and shook her head.
  "We have to do something!" Phoebe said, turning
to Josh desperately. "We have to save her!"
  "How, Phoebe?" he asked, his own eyes
filled with pain. "We don't exist here. What can
we do?"
  "Oh, it's just like you to give up," Phoebe
scowled, hugging herself as she watched the servants
finally untie Catherine and haul her off the spiked
wheel. Her robe was splattered with blood by now and
her face was ghostly pale.
  For a moment Phoebe thought she saw Catherine's
eyes connect with her own.

  CllApDo
  Had she seen her? Was she so close to death that she
was seeing ghosts? Phoebe reached out toward the woman
and gave her a quavering smile.
  But Catherine was looking right through her. Her eyes
were glazed and her lips were moving, as if in prayer.
The servants hauled her onto a stone platform and
laid her there. Catherine continued to whisper to herself,
pausing only once to glare defiantly at the
man.
  He gave his servants one more brusque order.
They nodded and bowed.
  "You must have been right," Phoebe whispered.
"He's some sort of king or emperor."
  "What did you mean by that?" Josh said. He was
ignoring Catherine and staring at Phoebe. ""Just like
me to give up.""
  "Well, you gave up on us, didn't you?"
Phoebe snapped.
  "Phoebe, I'm not the one who broke off our
relationship," Josh said.
  "Oh, yes, you were," Phoebe said. "You shut
me out. You stopped talking to me. You got all
cold and weird and wouldn't explain why."
  Josh started to retort, but then he got a
faraway look in his eyes and closed his mouth. His
shoulders sagged and he shook his head.
  "You're right," he said.
  "I am?" Phoebe gasped. "I mean ... of
course, I am. But here's what I've always
wondered, Josh. Why? We seemed like a good thing.
I was


  falling for you in a big way. And then you changed."
  "I know," Josh said. "I was falling for you too.
And that's when I started waiting for the other shoe
to drop."
  "What do you mean?" Phoebe asked.
  "Come on, Phoebe," he said. "Look at you.
You're strong and sophisticated. You're this charisma
queen."
  "Thanks," Phoebe said, feeling herself flush.
"But... why was this a problem?"
  "You were bound to outgrow me," Josh said. "I was
intimidated, I guess. Now I realize I was
an idiot."
  Phoebe was stunned. Josh was telling her she'd
been too good to be true. And because of that, he'd
sabotaged their relationship. Shaking her head in
disbelief, Phoebe felt a surge of relief.
Well, at least she knew what Josh's damage
had been.
  At the same time, her mind flashed on Cole.
Cool, confident Cole, who never got weirded
out, even when Phoebe levitated ten feet in the
air and had psychic premonitions. Why hadn't she
realized how lucky she was when she was back in San
Francisco?
  She gazed at Josh and realized, I went after this
guy. I plunged into this time portal to save him.
Yeah, I was saving an innocent. But I was also
haunted by an ex-boyfriend.
  And for that, I might have taken myself away from
Coleforever.

  So who's the saboteur now? she thought, wiping a
tear from her eye. Then she took a deep shud-dery
breath and threw back her shoulders.
  "No," Phoebe muttered, "I can't let it
end like this."
  She turned to Josh and clutched his arm.
  "We have to figure out a way out of this," she said.
"I need to get back home!"
  But before Josh could react, Catherine's raspy
voice filled the room. Phoebe turned to look
at the tortured woman and gasped.
  The emperor was standing above her, an enormous,
curved ax in his hands.
  But Catherine showed no fear as she spat words at
her torturer. She was clearly still defying the
king-perhaps even goading him into swinging the blade onto
her weary neck.
  "No!" Phoebe screamed. And she began to run
toward the murderous king.
  Back in the attic, Paige was flipping
frantically through the Book of Shadows. The howling
tornado emanating from the portal's mouth had
whipped the Book closed and she couldn't find the
spell.
  Piper was hunched over the bowl of herbs, trying
to prevent them from flying into the maelstrom.
  "Hurry, Paige!" she screamed. "This could be
our only chance!"
  "I'm flipping, I'm flipping!" Paige
cried, tearing at the Book in panic. "You just
figure out how we're going to burn the herbs in this
wind."


  "Good point!" Piper screamed. Tears streamed
across her cheeks. Then she had an idea.
  "Paige," she cried, "grab the Book and orb
us out of here!"
  "What?!" Paige yelled. "You know my orbing
is totally raw. We could end up anywhere."
  "Do it," Piper ordered her. "Or Phoebe's
going to stay wherever she's ended up ...
permanently!"
  Paige grabbed the Book and Piper grabbed
Paige. Then Paige squeezed her eyes shut and
concentrated on the Manor's upstairs hallway.
She just had to get them out of this room. Just a few
feet. And everything would be fine.
  Focus, she told herself.
  "Project yourself," she whispered.
  And then she felt the familiar airy sensation of
her white lights, glimmering around her body like
gossamer warmth.
  Finally the brilliant shimmers stopped and
Paige opened her eyes.
  Uh-oh, she thought.
  She was outside. She was more than outside. She
was perched very high up in the air, straddling a
drainpipe and bracing her high-heeled shoes on the
shingles of a roof. Way down below, she could see
Piper's SUV parked on the curb. And in front
of her, clutching the chimney, was Piper.
  "Paige," Piper said through gritted teeth,
"we're on our roof."

  "Okay, so instead of going one flight down the
stairs," Paige said with a shrug, "I took us one
flight up."
  "Whatever," Piper said. She propped the bowl of
herbs on her hip and sat awkwardly on the
drainpipe. Then she inched her way toward Paige.
"At least we're in close proximity. Find that
spell. And did you get the matches?"
  Paige yanked the matches out of the pocket of her
trench coat, which she hadn't even had a chance to take
off. Then she began whisking through the Book as if
page-flipping was an Olympic event. In five
seconds she'd found the spell.
  "Got it!" she yelled.
  "So do I!" Piper said, dropping a lit match
into the bowl of herbs. Fragrant flames instantly
filled the metal bowl. "Now I'll read the
spell while you orb us in. And we'll just hope this
procedure doesn't require the Power of
Three!"
  "Way to not put the pressure on!" Paige
cried. She grabbed the bowl of smoking herbs from
Piper while Piper swept the Book of Shadows
into her lap and began reading:
  Our sister lies In points unknown; Restore
her to her loving home. Bring her back And please,
intact, Put an end to her aimless roam.


  As she said the last word, Piper and Paige had
orbed into the attic.
  They gazed into the pulsating, predatory mouth of the
tunnel that swirled in the center of the attic. It had
grown so large now, Paige couldn't even see
Cole and Stuart.
  Piper peered deep into the tunnel. There was no
sign of Phoebe.
  "It's not working!" Paige screamed.
  "Let's read it again," Piper yelled. "Say
it with me. And Paige?"
  "Yeah?" Paige cried, locking eyes with her
sister.
  "Make it count," Piper jsd. "This could be our
last chance."
  Paige gulped and squinted at the Book of
Shadows, clutched in Piper's hands. And then they
began to read.
  Phoebe didn't stop to think.
  She barely stopped to breathe.
  And she certainly didn': remember that-in her
ghostly state-she waii as ineffectual as a poof of
air.
  She sprinted toward the emperor with her arms
outstretched.
  "Stay away from her!" she screamed as the man
scowled at Catherine. He lifted his long-handled
ax high over his head.
  "Phoebe, no!" Josh cried.

  Catherine murmured a last, angry oath,
locking her feverish eyes with those of the evil king.
  And as Phoebe leapt through the air, lunging at the
emperor, he slammed the ax through Catherine's neck
with a whistling thwump.
  At exactly the same moment, Phoebe sailed
through the king's body as if he were no more than a
hologram. Then she tumbled across the dungeon
floor.
  "Nooooo!" she cried.
  "Phoebe," Josh yelled, running over and
scooping her up in his arms. He shot one terrified
glance at Catherine's headless body, then whisked
Phoebe out of the dungeon.
  "I didn't save her," Phoebe said,
incredulously, as Josh carried her through the
hallway. "She was an innocent. And I didn't
save her. She's ... dead!"
  "There was nothing you could do," Josh said, stopping
to look down at Phoebe's weeping face. "You .
. . wait a minute. Phoebe? Do you feel that?"
  Phoebe looked up and gasped. She swallowed
her tears as she said, "How could I not? That's a very
familiar tornadoey feeling."
  "Oh, no, not again," Josh cried as the ceiling
began to open up. Sure enough, the great, silvery,
mushy maw that had dumped them into ancient Egypt a
few hours ago, had returned.
  "No, this is a good thing!" Phoebe said,


  clapping her hands together gleefully. "And I think
I see my sisters' handwriting all over it."
  "What are you talk-talk-Aahhhhh?" Josh
cried, as the portal suddenly reached down and sucked
him in with one giant, howling gulp.
  "Don't forget me!" Phoebe yelled, leaping
into the air after Josh. She felt the familiar
gooey suction of the portal draw her into its mouth
and, with a grateful feeling, saw the sandstone floor
of the Egyptian palace disappear.
  Then, of course, Phoebe and Josh commenced
to screaming their way through the same roller-coaster
ride they'd experienced the first time around, until...
  Whoomp.
  "Ow!" Phoebe squealed as she landed,
nose-down on something hard and fuzzy. Sitting up
painfully, Phoebe saw that she'd landed on an
Oriental rug.
  Grams's Oriental rug.
  With a gasp Phoebe looked up and saw her
sisters, breathing hard and gaping down at her sticky,
silvery, gooey self with a combination of joy and
horror.
  They pounced on her with huge whoops of joy before
Cole moved in to sweep Phoebe into his arms.
  "I thought I'd lost you," he whispered into her
neck.
  "It worked!" Paige screamed.

  "We did it!" Piper cried.
  Phoebe gazed at her sisters over Cole's
shoulder. Then she ran a hand over her goo-laden
head and regarded Paige and Piper's
tornado-tousled locks.
  "I think it's safe to say," Phoebe said, "that
I've never been happier for a bad hair day in my
life."


  r What just happened?"
  Phoebe gave a start as she heard a strange
voice break through her giddy family reunion.
She disentangled herself from the arms of her fiance and
sisters and turned to see two very confused-looking
guys staring at them. One was Josh, looking just as
gooey and windswept as she was. The other, the one
who'd spoken, was a stranger with a wash of
mercurylike stuff on his face and neck.
  And he was tied to a chair with a coil of rusty
metal.
  "Let me guess," Phoebe said, pointing to the
bleary-eyed young nerd, "Josh Junior?"
  "Yup, same deal," Paige said. "This is
Stuart. He's another Kiss.commer."
  "Hi," Stuart said. With his crooked glasses and
nasal voice, he couldn't have seemed less
demonlike if he tried.

  "Okay, looks like we had a couple of
cut-and-dry possessions here," Phoebe said. "I
mean, as soon as that portal popped out of Josh's
head, he was back to normal."
  Then she flashed him a smile. "Maybe even
better than normal," she said with a wink.
  Stuart, however, was clearly weirded out.
  "Okay, I get it now," he said nervously.
"We went out for lunch, right, Paige? And then you
must have slipped something into my orange juice to make
me pass out. Now I'm being held hostage for some
sort of demonic ritual. You're a pagan,
right? Or Wiccan? Or a cult member? Please
tell me you're not a Scientologist!"
  "Ugh," Paige cried. "Not even. Listen,
let's just get you untied and we'll explain
everything, right, girls?"
  She turned and shot her sisters an exaggerated
wink.
  "Memory spell?" Phoebe muttered
to Piper.
  "They'll never knew what hit "em," Piper
whispered back with a nod.
  Twenty minutes later, the witches had
de-gooed Josh and Stuart and brought them downstairs.
  "Paige, this is the last time I'm going to ask you
before I call a lawyer," Stuart whined. "What
happened here?"
  "Oh, Stu," Paige said, batting her
eyelashes. "No reason to resort to lawyers.
We have one right here. Of course, he's a
demon-laxtnsterVery

  with Death

  "Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaahhh!" Stuart
shrieked.
  "Paige!" Piper said, glaring at her sister.
"No fair toying with the innocents just because all
memory of this will be obliterated in a few
seconds."
  "What? You're going to brainwash me?" Stuart
squeaked. "Aaaah! Aaaaaah! Aaaah!"
  "Oh, puh-leeze," Phoebe said, clamping
her hands over her ears. "Can we just say the spell?
I can't stand the screaming."
  "All together now," Piper said, holding a piece
of paper up. Paige and Phoebe crowded next
to her. En masse, they read:
  Let memories of these events Cease to even be
past tense. Wipe the slate as clean as air
Let no recollection haunt them, ne'er.
  A sweet-smelling breeze skimmed over Josh
and Stuart. When these gentle spells took effect,
Phoebe always imagined one of her Wiccan
ancestors sweeping through the room, blowing a kiss.
Peace immediately washed over Stuart and Josh's
troubled faces. It made it all the more ironic that
people like Stuart thought of Wicca as a dark art.
  "How did I get here?" Stuart said, grinning
slyly at Paige as he pushed his dark-rimmed
glasses farther up the bridge of his nose.
"Paige, you little minx. Did you invite me in after
our lunch date?"

  ClApDo
  Phoebe slapped a hand over her mouth to keep from
guffawing as Paige gave her a scathing glare.
Then she hooked her arm through Stuart's and marched him
to the front door. When she opened it, she saw that a
cold February rain had begun to fall.
  "Stuart, I guess my announcement gave you a
little shock," Paige said, gazing down at her-
surprisingly short-suitor.
  "Announcement?" he said.
  "Yes, you know that I'd love to go out with you again,"
Paige said, "but unfortunately I've been
called."
  "Called?"
  "Oh, yes," Paige said, clasping her hands and
looking angelic. "I think missionary work will be so
rewarding, don't you? I mean, even if
Colombia is a little dangerous these days."
  "Well . . . good luck with that!" Stuart
stuttered, groping for the doorknob. "Great lunch,
Paige. Nice knowin" ya."
  "Bye!" Phoebe called, wrinkling her nose
at Stuart as he hightailed it out of there.
  "Phoebe!" Josh said. "It is you. What...
are you and Paige related somehow?"
  "Here we go again," Piper said, rolling her
eyes.
  "Sisters," Phoebe said to Josh as Paige and
Piper melted out of the room. She couldn't help but
grin at Josh's cute, confused face. "Long
story."


  "Ahem!"
  Phoebe started and spun around to see Cole on
the bottom step of the stairwell. He was glaring at
Josh with a venom Phoebe hadn't seen since his
Belthazor days. Normally Phoebe had no
patience for jealousy but, after all that had happened in
Egypt with Josh, she felt nothing but grateful for
her devoted sweetie. She ran to the stairs and
wrapped her arms around Cole's waist. He
glanced down aj her in surprise.
  "And in addition to a n8w sister, I also have a
new fiance," she announced. Taking Cole's
hand, she led him across the foyer to Josh. "Josh,
Cole. Cole, Josh. An old ... friend."
  "Yeah?" Cole and Josh said at the same time.
  "Yeah," Phoebe said, smiling at Josh.
"At least I think we're friends."
  "Yeah," Josh said, a grin slowly filling his
face. "I'm not sure what's happened here,
Phoebe, but knowing you, I think I'd best not
ask."
  Josh turned and extended his hand to a surprised
Cole. "I will, however, congratulate you. You're
a lucky man."
  Then he headed to the front door and gave
Phoebe a little wave.
  "Call me if you want to explain any of this,"
he said to her. "Or just catch up. It's nice
to see you again, Phoebe."
  As he slipped out the door, Phoebe smiled
to herself.

  "Okay, do I want to know what happened to you on
the other side of this time portal?" Cole asked, his
face clouding.
  "It's called closure, honey," she said,
giving him a kiss. "It's a good thing, I
promise you."
  "Well..." Cole grumbled.
  But before he and Phoebe could get into a whole "u"
discussion, Leo suddenly orbed into the foyer.
  "Phoebe!" he cried when he became
corporeal. "You're back!"
  He swept her up into a bear hug, then shook his
head in relief.
  "Paige and Piper to the rescue," Phoebe
said, as her sisters came back into the foyer.
  "Are . . . things cool with Josh?" Paige
asked carefully.
  "Totally," Phoebe said. "And those boys are
definitely demon-free now."
  "Yeah, but I'm thinking they might not be the last of
them," Piper said. "All we know about this demon is
that it's capable of possessing more than one man."
  "Yeah," Paige said worriedly. "Which means
we'd better find the original demon."
  "Well, maybe Phoebe has some clues,"
Leo said. "After all, you went through the demon's time
portal."
  Phoebe shuddered as she suddenly recalled the
grisly beheading she'd witnessed just before being sucked out
of the alternate dimension.


  Swallowing painfully, she nodded.
  "I've got a name and address," she offered.
"Catherine. Ancient Egypt."
  "That's all you got?" Piper said with
disappointment. "Phoebe, what were you doing down
there?"
  "Ever heard of that movie, "Witness to the
Execution"?" Phoebe countered. She couldn't
keep her voice from trembling just a bit.
  "Oh," Piper said softly, putting a hand on
Phoebe's shoulder. "I'm sorry, sweetie."
  "It's okay," Phoebe said. "Let's just get
back to the attic and hit the Book of Shadows. I
want to see if we've got anything on
Catherine."
  A half hour later, Phoebe at last found
what she'd been looking for. It was in the slim,
non-pagan section of the Book of Shadows.
  "Aha!" she cried. "She was Saint
Catherine."
  "We're dealing with saints now?" Paige said.
She glanced up from her laptop, where she'd been
surfing Kiss.com for suspicious-looking characters.
Piper was been scrying while Leo and Cole were
studying other books on demonology from the
Halliwells' library.
  "I guess we are," Phoebe said, "because this
story fits what I saw perfectly."
  As her family gathered around her, Phoebe
cleared her throat and began to read.
  ""Catherine of Alexandria was a princess
living

  in fourth century, Roman-occupied Egyptst"
she read. She stopped reading and looked at Piper
and Paige. "That's exactly where we must have been.
We were in a palace in a busy city. I saw some
Roman-looking architecture. But also . . . there
were pyramids-in-progress right outside the
window."
  "Some vacation," Paige said dryly. "Read
on." "The Roman emperor, Maxentius, demanded
Catherine's hand in marriage,"" Phoebe
continued. ""When the pious princess refused him,
he attempted to torture her into submission.
Among the devices in his arsenal was a spiked
wheel, which was forever after called a Catherine Wheel.
Finally Maxentius beheaded the princess. From her
neck flowed milk, rather than blood. And immediately a
chorus of angels came to steal Catherine's body
away for a proper burial on Mount Sinai."
  "Harsh!" Paige said. "You saw that,
Phoebe?" "I didn't see the milk,"
Phoebe said. "But believe me, I saw enough
to connect the dots. Now here's the really scary part.
'Maxentius, in executing the saint, became
doomed. When he died a few years later, he
became the ephemeral demon, Lupercalus."
  "Lupercalus?" Leo piped up. "That's
ironic. Lupercalia was the ancient name for
February fourteen."
  "Sick sense of love, this guy," Phoebe
said, shaking her head.


  Paige stood up and drifted over to Phoebe,
peering over her shoulder at the Book. Gently she
reached out and ran her finger over a drawing of a
beautiful, black-haired woman. At the bottom
of the page was a picture of a burly man in a
Roman tunic. "Maxentius, Emperor of
Rome," was its caption, written in florid,
curly handwriting.
  And finally, beneath a drawing of a ghostly wolf, was the
word, "Lupercalus."
  "Why the wolf?" she wondered out loud.
  "Latin," Cole explained. "Lupo is the
root for Lupercalus. Means wolf."
  "Okay, smartie," Paige shot back with a
smile. "Then explain this one: What's an
ephemeral demon?"
  "An ephemeral demon exists-or doesn't,
depending on how you look at it-in the ether,"
Cole said. "Some catalyst can make him
temporarily corporeal. And then he'll stay that
way as long as he's accomplishing his mission."
  "His mission being? ..." Phoebe wondered.
  "Revenge against Catherine," Piper said
suddenly. "Of course. He's taking out his rage
on single women, through men that he possesses."
  'The men who date Paige," Phoebe pointed
out.
  "What?" Paige gasped. "You think this has
something to do with me?"
  "Paige, Josh and Stuart's last nondemonic

  CllApDo
  memory is of their dates with you," Piper said.
"Now do you think that's a coincidence?"
  "But what does that mean?" Paige said. "Am
I possessed?"
  Paige spun around in a panic and ran to a
warped, cloudy mirror leaning against the attic
wall. She stared into her own eyes, trying to detect
something beyond her usual brown irises and mascara'd
lashes. But she couldn't see a thing either because there was
no demon lurking in her head or because tears had
sprung to her eyes, clouding her vision.
  "Paige," Leo said, walking over and patting
her on the shoulder. "Don't worry. Those guys were
clearly possessed and you're clearly not."
  "No," Cole said brusquely, walking over
to Paige with his arms crossed over his chest. "She's
probably a conduit."
  "A what-o-it?" Paige said, sniffling a little
and leaning her head on Leo's shoulder.
  "A conduit," Cole said. "I knew a few
demons in the old days who got around that way.
Sneaky devils."
  "Literally," Piper said. "So, what .... our
demon is going through Paige, but not hanging around
inside of her?"
  "That's about the size of it," Cole said.
  "Ew!" Paige screeched. "But how does he
get in? How does he get out? I can't take a
shower until this is over with!"
  Chime.


  "Have you ever noticed that the door always rings at the
most inopportune times in this house?" Phoebe
said.
  "Oh, God," Paige groaned suddenly.
"What time is it?"
  "Nine-thirty," Piper said looking at her
watch. "Ugh, we've been up all night."
  "That's Max!" Paige screeched. "We made
a Sunday brunch date. And now it's Sunday.
I completely blanked. Oh, I hate to have to blow
him off."
  "Why on earth would you blow him off?" Cole said.
"Here's an opportunity! Can someone get the door
and ask Max to wait in the conservatory?"
  "I will," Piper said.
  "No, wait!" Cole said, his eyes glinting with
an idea. "Leo, you get the door. We don't
want Max to see Piper or Phoebe. They'll
be spying later."
  "Okay, Cole," Paige said as Leo headed
downstairs. "Let's hit pause for just a minute
here. What are you cooking up?"
  "Simple," Cole said. "You go out with this Max
guy. This is your second date, right? So either
he's already been possessed through you and is coming back
to eat your heart out, so to speak. Or the demon's
going to possess Max on your date this morning.
Whatever happens Phoebe and Piper will be there
to see it. This could provide us with just the information we
need."

  "So you want Piper and Phoebe to come withand spy
on us?" Paige said. "Cole, I like this guy. I
don't want to risk infecting him with this demon!
Ick. It's like I have a disease or something."
  "Ah, remember when we were that naive?" Piper
muttered to Phoebe with faux nostalgia. "Back
before half our dates turned out to be green and
scaly?"
  "Or we were turned into baddies ourselves?"
Phoebe said warmly. "All of this is just beginning for
our Paige."
  "This isn't funny!" Paige cried.
  "No, no, you're right," Phoebe said, stifling
her giggles. "Oh, I'm sorry, honey. I know
it feels rotten. But look at it this way: If you
don't go out with Max we may never figure out how
to exorcise this demon, which would pretty much make you
a big old Dating Don't, you know? Better
to figure out a way out of this a.sdda.p."
  "And let's not forget the innocents with lives at
stake," Piper said, rolling her eyes. "I mean,
I think Paige's social life is as
important as anybody's, but it's not exactly
life and death."
  Paige went a shade paler than usual, then
nodded weakly.
  "Okay, okay, I'll do it," she sighed. "But
look at me! I'm a mess. Would it be so wrong
to do a magic makeover? It's not personal gain
if it's in the name of innocent-saving, is it?"
  Phoebe raised her eyebrows at Piper.


  "That settles it," she said. "This girl's
definitely a Halliwell. And I just happen
to know a clean-up spell that will get us pretty in a
jiffy."
  "Why am I not surprised by that?" Piper
remarked dryly. "All right, Ms. Jiffy. Charm
away."

  rl3X lOOK [fll caret that to a quiet
little restaurant on one of San Francisco's
steepest streets. It was a romantic spot
called Maison, tucked into the basement of a
ramshackle row house. As soon as they walked
in, Paige looked around the tiny dining room and
sighed with delight-the place looked like her dream
apartment. It was furnished in shabby, flea-market
finds, with mismatched china and tarnished, silver
candlesticks on every table.
  And Phoebe's little spell had dressed her
perfectly for the place. She was wearing a long,
semisheer skirt and a silk, bronze-colored twin
set. Very Sunday morning in the city.
  Max whispered something to the host when he and Paige
arrived. And by the time they sat down at a cozy,
corner table, champagne-free bellinis were waiting
for them.


  Max held his flute of orange juice up and
toasted Paige. "I know it's only been a few
days, but..." and then Max looked down at his
plate. "Well, let's just say, you've been on
my mind since our last date."
  "Likewise," Paige said, feeling her cheeks
flush. She looked at her chipped plate and
wondered where this giddy feeling was coming from. It's so
strange, she thought, that all the other guys were such
duds and this guy is so . . . perfect.
Attraction is so bizarre that way.
  As soon as the giddy thought crossed her mind,
Paige felt guilt wash over her.
  So, of course, what do I do? she asked herself.
I subject my new beau to demonic possession.
Oh, yeah, average second-date stuff.
  Or, she thought darkly, I'm subjecting myself
to possession. Maybe Max has already been
posessed by Lupercalus.
  Paige gazed at her date. He was buttering the
stack of toast the waiter had brought for the two of them.
Just looking at Max gave Paige a trembly
feeling. His skin was so tan, with just the right smattering
of laugh lines. His hair was glossy, falling
onto his forehead with a combo of polished handsomeness and
Hugh Grant floppi-ness. He was dressed
perfectly too in a cool, linen shirt and
wonderfully worn jeans.
  But still, a demon could make himself as gorgeous as
he wanted to, couldn't he? Paige thought
nervously. She sighed and broke off a bite of
toast of

  her own. Being a nascent witch gave one such an
insecure feeling! She wished she had her sisters"
experiences. They could probably pick out a
demonic date within five minutes.
  Or, Paige thought, shooting a furtive glance
across the dining room, maybe not.
  Piper and Phoebe had just been seated at a table
about fifteen feet away. They looked perfectly
breezy-Piper wore capri pants and a peasant
blouse and Phoebe was in hip-hugging jeans. They were
also making a big show of peeking at Paige over
their menus and seemed to be giggling to themselves.
  Wonderful, Paige thought, biting into an
asparagus spear ruefully. I guess I'm on
my own here. I wonder what the heck those two are
laughing about?
  "Okay, okay," Phoebe was saying, as the
waiter brought her a dainty cup of coffee. "My
turn. My most embarrassing date ever was . . .
that guy who took me to a Bon Jovi concert and
played air guitar throughout the entire thing. I was
crawling under my seat."
  "Literally," Piper gasped. "I remember you
coming home with gum in your hair."
  "Ew! Of course that was preferable to a goodnight
kiss with that guy," Phoebe said.
  "And let's not forget all the boyfriends who turned
out to be demons," Piper said, taking a pensive
slurp of her tea. "Kind of brings that


  "not knowing who to trust" doctrine to a whole new
level, doesn't it?"
  "Of course demon-dating worked out for me,"
Phoebe said with a sly grin. "But I wouldn't wish
it on Paige. Poor thing. What's going on over
there?"
  Piper peeked over her menu, then rolled her
eyes.
  "All's gaga on the western side of
Maison," she said. "I've got to admit...
Max doesn't have that demony look about him. But
at least we all got a nice brunch out of this
stake-out."
  Piper fished a warm and oozy chocolate
croissant out of the bread basket that she and
Phoebe had ordered. Then she shook her head.
  "Wow. Can you even remember what it's like to be
on a first date?" she asked, taking a huge bite
of the croissant.
  "The excitement? The swooning?" Phoebe said.
"The wondering through an entire conversation if there's
spinach in your teeth?"
  Then she rolled her eyes.
  "Oh, yeah," she said dryly. "I miss it
desperately."
  I wonder if there's spinach in my teeth,
Paige was thinking as she polished off the last of her
eggs Florentine. God, I hope not.
  Between her first bite of breakfast and her last,
Paige had decided she adored Max Wolf.

  And she'd decided there was no way a dude like this
could be a demon.
  "I know you're probably thinking I'm an
egomaniac," he'd said a few minutes ago.
"Aren't all politicians that way?"
  "Well . . ." Paige had said. "They don't
start out that way but something about the system corrupts,
doesn't it seem?"
  "I know," Max said with a sigh. "But I can't
get certain things I've seen out of my head,
Paige. I'm a public-aid lawyer. Every day
I see this cycle of poverty that seems impossible
to break."
  "But we have to try," Paige and Max said at the
same time. Paige laughed incredulously. Then she
stared into Max's sweet, brown eyes.
  "This is the first time I've ever met someone who
cares as much about these issues as I do," she
breathed.
  Max stared back at her with such intensity,
Paige felt a dizzy spell wash over her.
  Is this that love-at-first-sight,
bonked-on-the-head feeling? she wondered. Gee,
I never thought it would be so ... literal.
  Finally Paige had to drag her eyes off of
Max's face and put a hand to her forehead.
  "Whew," she whispered, "that was a little intense."
  "I felt it too," Max breathed. "Part of me
wishes I could steal you away. Or at least force you
to forsake all others."


  Paige giggled at his old-fashioned language
and Max rolled his eyes in embarrassment.
  "But I know I can't ask you to do that," he said.
"I'm sure you're the belle of the Kiss.com
ball."
  "Oh . . . not really," Paige said, thinking
guiltily of her packed Palm Pilot. Then she
shot a glance in Phoebe's direction. What had
Phoebe told her? Be elusive and a little aloof?
  "I could cancel my other dates, Max," she
blurted.
  Whoops, Paige thought as the words shot out of her
mouth. That wasn't exactly aloof. But who cares?
Max and I clearly have one of those electric
connections. Do we really have to play games?
  "Paige, I'm flattered," Max said.
"But... you shouldn't."
  "Oh . . ." Paige said. Humiliation began
to curdle the hollandaise in her stomach.
  "N. . . yet," Max said shyly. "I don't
want you to rush to commit to me. You should play the
field. Be really sure. And when you're ready,
I'll be here."
  Paige nodded slowly, trying to figure out whether
Max was the most gallant guy on earth, or was
subtly dissing her.
  But before she could say anything else, their waiter
brought Max back the check and his credit card.
Max scanned the bill, then signed the dotted line
with a fountain pen he'd pulled out of his shirt
pocket. Paige squinted at Max's

  upside-down handwriting. Something about the
signature looked familiar. The letters slanted and
curled around each other in antique-looking
flourishes. It was beautiful....
  Suddenly Paige gasped.
  She stared at the fountain pen in Max's
manicured fingers. And she flashed back to the
attic.
  The Book of Shadows page she'd been studying
that morning filled her mind like a vision. And what she
saw were the words, Maxentius. Lupercalus.
  Then Paige's mind flashed on Cole.
"Lupo is the root for Lupercalus," he'd said
that morning in the attic. "Means wolf."
  Paige could feel her heart beating in loud,
panicky thuds. Her mind was racing.
  She lifted her eyes from Max's fountain pen
to his smooth, untroubled face and his piercing, amber
eyes. His hypnotizing eyes.
  Maxentius. Lupercalus, Paige thought,
feeling a sheen of sweat break out on her upper
lip.
  Max.
  Wolf.
  Paige's hands went clammy. Instinctively
she looked around the restaurant for an escape
route. But she was sitting in the corner. She'd have
to get around Max to dash out of the restaurant.
  And besides, if she dined and dashed, the demon would
know that she was onto him.
  Paige shook her head. As much as the proof was


  right before her eyes, in ink on the brunch bill, it
was still hard to wrap her brain around the painful fact that
she'd been duped. Hugely duped.
  And if she didn't play her cards right, she was
doomed.
  So Paige put on her game face. The same
one she used when trying to placate violent husbands
or angry judges in family court. She added a
dash of flirtation, and batted her eyelashes
subtly.
  "Oh, I'm sure about you already, Max," she
said.
  Yeah, sure that you're the biggest jerk I've ever
dated, she thought.
  "But, you're probably right," she continued. "We
should take things slowly. After all, a connection like
ours doesn't come along that often."
  "Maybe only once every few centuries,"
Max said with a teasing smile.
  Oh, that does it, Paige thought. I am so
onto you.
  "In fact," Paige said sweetly as she got
out of her chair, "I think I need some time just to
... you know, think about things. I think I'll walk
home."
  "In the rain?" Max said, his eyebrows raised.
  "I love walking in the rain," Paige said.
"You know, like the song says. But thanks for brunch.
It was ... enlightening."
  "For me, as well," Max said, rising to his
feet and taking Paige's right hand. Slowly, he
lifted it

  to his lips, then planted a gentle kiss on
her index finger.
  Paige's head snapped back as she felt a
burst of electricity shoot up her arm. It was like
a current that ended in her heart, making her hunch
over in a spasm of... not pain, exactly. More like
surprise.
  Paige snatched her hand away from Max and
pressed it to her side, hoping he wouldn't be able
to see how much she was trembling. Then she smiled
tremulously and sidled past Max. She breathed a
sigh of relief as she saw her sisters take one
look at her, then throw some money on their table and
stand up.
  She left the restaurant without looking back and
took a few wobbly steps down the sidewalk. The
rain had subsided to a foggy mist. Paige had
to squint to see through it, so she didn't know Phoebe
had walked up behind her until she felt her hand on
her shoulder. Paige jumped and squealed.
  "Oh, I'm so glad to see you," Paige
whimpered, throwing her arms around Phoebe's
shoulders. Then she pulled back and stared
into Phoebe's frightened eyes.
  "It's him," Paige breathed. "Max is
Lupercalus."
  "We figured when you suddenly dashed out of there,"
Phoebe said. "Piper went to grab the car."
  No sooner had the words left her mouth than
Piper skidded up in the black SUV.


  "Home, Jeeves?" she called through the
passenger window.
  Paige and Phoebe tumbled into the car. By the time
Piper pulled up to Halliwell Manor fifteen
minutes later, Paige had recounted the entire
breakfast for them.
  "I'm sure Dr. Laura would have something to say
about this," Paige said glumly as they walked into the
foyer. She glanced into the mirror and fluffed out her
rain-dampened hair. "I mean, how perverse is it
that all my nondemonic dates bored me to tears.
And the one guy I liked turns out to be a Roman
emperor with a king-sized grudge. Do I have bad
taste in men or what?"
  "Or what!" Piper declared. "Paige, think about
it. If Lupercalus could somehow jerryrig you so that
you turned all your dates into killing machines,
don't you think he could manipulate the dates
themselves? He hexed you!"
  "Why would he do that?" Paige retorted,
slumping back against the wall next to the hall
mirror. "I mean, once I made eye contact
with the guys, the deed was done, right?"
  "Yes, but had you liked any of them, you might have
stopped your dating rampage," Phoebe pointed out.
  "Excuse me?" Paige said. "Rampage is
such a desperate word. Could we just go back to calling
it "playing the field"?"
  "Didn't you say that Max urged you to keep
dating at brunch?" Piper said.

  "Um, yeah, come to think of it," Paige said.
  "Of course he did," Phoebe said, giving
Paige a squeeze. "Keeping you on the
lame-date treadmill would produce an army of
bloodsuckers for Lupercalus. It was the perfect
plan."
  "It was the perfect plan," Piper said, biting
her lip. "And now we have to figure out how to thwart
it."
  Chime.
  "You were right about the crazy timing of that
doorbell," Paige said to Phoebe.
  And sure enough, when Paige swung the door
open, there was Max, a stiff, fake smile on his
face.
  "Hi!" Paige blurted brightly, planting herself
firmly in the doorway. "Max! Uh . . .
miss me already?"
  "Of course, Paige," Max said, neatly
sidestepping her to come into the foyer. "But that's not why
I'm here."
  "Oh?"
  Max turned at the sound of Piper's voice.
She was stationed at the living-room door. And
directly across from her, Phoebe manned the
dining-room door.
  "So why are you here?" Phoebe asked. "Just
sisterly curiosity. I'm Paige's big sister,
Phoebe. And this is Piper."
  "Nice to meet you," Max said distractedly.
Then he gave Paige a sidelong look. "I,
uh, forgot my umbrella. I swear, I've
outfitted half of San Francisco with my
cast-off rain gear. But this


  time, since it provided an excuse to see you
again, I decided to go after it."
  "Oh," Paige said flatly. Then she looked
around the foyer. "Urn, I don't see it. Did
you leave it in the conservatory?"
  Max gave Paige another hard look.
  "Ah, yes, I think I did," Max said.
"I remember where it is. I'll just go look."
  Max smiled politely at Phoebe as she
stepped aside to let him pass. When he'd
crossed through the dining room into the plant-filled
conservatory, Phoebe turned to her sisters.
  "Okay, bird in hand," she whispered. "Now
what do we do with him?"
  "I don't know!" Piper said. "We haven't
had a chance to do any research. No spell, no
potion, no nothin'."
  "Except that exploding finger of yours," Paige
said. "Better try it out."
  "Better not."
  Paige froze as she heard Max's voice behind
her. In fact, she almost felt it. The moment Max
spoke-in a voice that was lower and more sinister than his
normal one-her hair stood on end. She spun
around to see Max looming by the dining-room door.
Needless to say, he wasn't holding an
umbrella. He did, however, have a handful of
crackling electricity and he was rearing back to wing
it at Paige.
  Paige screamed in terror and cringed as the
blue-hot energy zinged through the air. Then she

  felt the now-familiar sensation of her body orbing
into nothingness. It was how her magical self reacted
to threat, no conscious will necessary.
  By the time Paige orbed back into place, the
energy ball had hit the wall behind her with a crackling
explosion.
  "Ha!" Piper yelled, flicking her hands in
Max's direction.
  Max was unphased. His eyes had turned
acid-yellow, bulging with venom. An almost-invisible
force field-ice blue and sparking like a live
wire-had instantly formed around his body. The shield
bounced Piper's explosive magic right back in
her direction.
  "Watch it," Phoebe screamed, leaping across the
foyer in one huge bound. She caught Piper around
the waist and together the two crashed to the floor. The
explosion hit the mirror on the wall right behind the
spot where Piper had been standing.
  "Okay, so he's got wolf eyes, electric
ammo, and a force field," Phoebe cried. "But
we have the Power of Three."
  "Or do you?" Max said. "Remember I've
got a conduit in your love-hungry sister's head.
Test me and I'll show you what else my little
pathway can do for her."
  With that, Max stared at Paige. His rheumy,
animalistic eyes glowed. Suddenly Paige
felt pain sear her brain like a branding iron. But it
wasn't a physical pain she felt. No, it was
the anguish of Lupercalus's victims.


  Paige's own life melted away as Max
filled her head with the feelings of Carla Janowski.
The woman's last few hours flashed through
Paige's mind in searing, warp speed. In quick
succession, Paige experienced all of Carla's
emotions. She ached for affection. Then she was
hopeful. Then giddy with a new crush.
  Then Paige felt herself experience Carla's
final minutes. She crumpled to the foyer floor,
hugging herself tightly, rocking back and forth and weeping
softly. Paige felt fingers of passion shooting through
her. A kiss. This must have been the end of Carla's
date
  And then horror. Excruciating pain. Paige
clawed at her chest as she felt the phantom
slicing and dicing of one of those silver claws.
  "Stop it!" Phoebe screamed. The noise
jolted Paige out of her nightmare slightly, but
Max's mental onslaught had left her
incredibly weak. She was only dimly aware of
Phoebe scrambling to her feet and running at
Max, her fists poised for a fight.
  Max howled, turning his attention from Paige to zing
his hand in Phoebe's direction. This time his
electric weapon took the shape of a long, snaky
coil. It caught Phoebe across the neck and
knocked her, gasping, to the floor. Paige could
see Phoebe's feet twitching slightly as she
lay still.
  She also felt Lupercalus's emotional vise
completely release her aching head. She slumped

  forward, clutching her temples. Just before she
blacked out, she saw Max run across the foyer. As
he did, a gust of wind suddenly filled the
hallway.
  A portal sprang up from the Oriental rug,
unleashing its wild flurry of wind, chaos, and
excruciating noise.
  Of course, Paige thought weakly. It's the
ephemeral demon's favorite highway-the time
portal.
  Max took a flying leap into the tunnel's mouth,
which closed around him like a gooey, Venus flytrap.
  And finally, when the tunnel disappeared, Paige
let go. Everything went black.


  Paige! phoebe
  screamed. Painfully, she picked herself up off the
floor arujl went to her sister's side.
  "Phoebe? What's going on?"
  Phoebe looked up from her sister's comatose
face to see Cole, barreling down the stairs, his
face drawn and white with fear. Leo was right behind
him.
  "You were right," Piper said. "Max was
Lupercalus and he pulled a number on
Paige's head. She was in so much pain, she passed
out."
  Cole kneeled down next to Phoebe, who was
cradling Paige's head, while Leo placed his
hands on Paige's forehead. After a few seconds
of his healing glow, Paige's eyelids fluttered
open. She coughed and shook her head back and forth.
  "Paige," Leo said, waving his hand before her
bleary eyes. "Are you in there? Snap out of it."

  He stared into her eyes for a moment, then froze.
  "What's wrong?" Cole said. "Here, let me
try."
  Cole leaned over Paige and put a finger to her
chin, turning her face so that her eyes met his.
  "You blacked out for a minute, sis," he said.
"But you're okay, now. I promise. How many
fingers?"
  Cole held up three fingers, then looked
into Paige's eyes for a sign of recognition.
Paige blinked slowly and winced.
  "Three," she croaked.
  Cole didn't respond. In fact, he and
Leo both sat perfectly still as Paige sat up,
shook her head once more, and then popped to her feet.
  "Wow, that glow thingy is amazing," she said
brightly.
  Leo and Cole continued to sit on the floor in
silence.
  "Uh, guys?" Phoebe said.
  "Cole, Leo!" Piper said, snapping her
fingers. "Where did you guys go?"
  Leo raised his right hand.
  And it began to change. At first the change was
subtle. His skin went a little gray. His fingers
seemed to lengthen. But then, Leo's hand took a
shape that was becoming all too familiar to the
witches.
  The ropy, metallic muscles.
  The elongated, predatory fingers.
  And worst of all, the eruption of those long,
glinting talons.


  Leo leapt to his feet and held his hand aloft.
Then he began to stalk toward his wife.
  "Leo?" Piper said timidly. "Okay,
what's going on here?"
  "Oh, no," Phoebe said, circling Leo
carefully. "Lupercalus's attack must have put
some extra-strong mojo into Paige's head. He's
come through the conduit and possessed Leo!"
  "Urn, Phoebe?" Paige said. She sidled
up to her sister and tapped her on the shoulder.
  "Not now, Paige," Phoebe whispered.
"We've got a situation here. Geez, I can't
believe even a possessed Leo would turn on his
own wife. What a blow!"
  "Phoebe!" Paige yelled. "Watch out!"
  Phoebe spun around just in time to see her own
sweetheart bearing down on her. And he was wielding
a brand-new, extra-shiny claw.
  "What a blow," Piper simpered. Then she
returned her attention to Leo.
  "Honey?" she said to him. "You already have my heart.
Trust me, you don't need to go any further."
  "Cole!" Phoebe was saying as her fiance
backed her against the foyer wall. "Please!
Don't make me kung fu you."
  "You'll... be ... sorry," Leo droned,
moving a step closer to Piper.
  "I will have my revenge," Cole sneered, lunging
at Phoebe with his claws.

  "Oh no, not this again," Paige complained as she
looked back and forth between the two couples. "I can't
take it anymore."
  And with that, she reached out her hand and ordered,
"Candlestick!"
  One of the heavy brass candlesticks that always sat
on the dining-room table suddenly orbed into Paige's
hand. As soon as it became solid in her fist, she
reached up and conked Leo on the head with it.
  "Leo!" Piper cried. Then she gazed at
Paige in shock.
  "You just bonked my husband," she said.
  "Yeah, just before you reached a new, lethal level
of intimacy," Paige said.
  "Urn, you have a point," Piper said. Then she
jumped as Phoebe whooped on the other side of the
foyer.
  "Hi-yah!" she cried, suddenly shooting her
leg in a high circle kick and knocking Cole's
hand away from her chest, where he'd been just inches
away from digging in for her heart. With Cole
unbalanced, Phoebe grabbed his claw and wrenched it
behind his back. Cole struggled mightily,
accidentally slashing one of Phoebe's cheeks with a
talon.
  "Phoebe!" Piper cried. Then,
instinctively, she flicked her hands out and froze
Cole in mid-writhe.
  Phoebe fell back against the wall and sank to the
floor, cupping her cheek.

  with Death

  "He hurt me," she said incredulously.
  "It's not him," Paige said, trying to comfort
Phoebe. "You know that."
  Piper merely stood over Leo and stared at him
sadly. When he'd passed out, his clawed hand had
receded and now he looked like himself again-vulnerable and
sweet.
  "Piper," Paige said, "I know that look.
It's the, "Aw, Leo's so cute when he's
sleeping look." And you've got to shake it off!
When your husband comes to, he's going to be Lethal
Leo. That is, until we figure out how
to exorcise Lupercalus in some way that doesn't
get us sucked into ancient Egypt."
  "She's right, Piper," Phoebe said
sorrowfully. "For now, we've got to stash our
sweeties in a place where they'll do no harm."
  "The basement," Piper declared. "There are bars
on the window and a bolt lock on our side of the
door."
  "Yup," Phoebe said. "Perfect. Let's
move "em before Cole unfreezes."
  "You up for orbing these guys down there?" Piper
said, giving Paige a skeptical glance.
  "Sure!" Paige said defensively. "Although,
I think I'll do my 'fetch" routine. I've
had more practice at that."
  Nervously, she went into the basement with Phoebe
and Piper at her heels. Paige stood in the
middle of the messy room, littered with old tools
and Prue's photo-developing equipment, and
squeezed her eyes shut.

  "Cole!" she shouted. An instant later,
Cole shimmered into the basement, practically
knocking Paige over.
  "Cool!" Paige cried.
  "You've got Cole," Piper said. "Now,
Leo."
  "I said, "cool,"" Paige said, glaring at
her sister. But then she recomposed herself and called
out Leo's name. Lo and behold, her
brother-in-law orbed in as well. The
Halliwells gave each other a quick glance, then
high-tailed it up the stairs.
  "Book of Shadows," Phoebe said as she reached
the top of the stairs. "Now!"
  She and Paige hurried out of the kitchen as Piper
slid the bolt lock into place. The minute the
door locked, she heard a crash.
  "And that would be Cole unfreezing," she whispered
to herself. She cringed and pressed her ear to the door.
Leo must have just woken up, too. She could hear him
droning, "Sorry . . . you'll be sorry!"
  Then Cole started bellowing, "Phoebe! Let
me out of here! Phoebe!"
  Piper gave the door a sharp tug to make sure
the lock was secure, then spun around.
  "Aahh!" she gasped. She was staring at two
strangers.
  Two men.
  Two men with sharp, silver claws where their hands
should have been.
  "Paige!" Piper screeched. "Your dates are
here!"


  Then she threw up her hands to freeze the
attackers before they could move in for her heart.
  Phoebe and Paige skidded into the kitchen and
gasped.
  "Whoa!" Phoebe said. "Paige, how many
guys did you go out with?"
  "Just four!" Paige protested. "That's
Charlie, my coffee date from the other day, and
uh... uh..."
  "You forgot the other guy's name?" Piper said,
planting her fists on her hips. "Paige!
You're fast."
  "Am not," Paige retorted. "Just James!
His name is James. Of course ..."
  Chime.
  "Hmm, I wonder who that is?" Phoebe said,
glaring at Paige. Paige glanced at the kitchen
clock.
  "Oh, that's right," she said sheepishly. "Sunday
lunch with Alan, the media consultant. How could I
forget? Don't worry. I'll get rid of him."
  While Phoebe and Piper stood guard,
Paige hurried to the front door, muttering as she
went. "You'd think they never had a dry spell in
their dating lives. Don't understand... so easy for
them..."
  Paige was still in vent mode when she opened the
front door. And then she stared, her mouth hanging
open.
  There was Alan, the media consultant and Teddy,
the E.r. doctor.

  "Uh, hi guys," Paige stuttered. "Did
I double-book? How incredibly ... awkward."
  Then Paige shut her mouth because she realized her
dates didn't seem to mind in the slightest. They
were simply standing on the porch, their eyes riveted
to her.
  And why didn't they mind? Because they'd become
hypnotized the moment Paige opened the door and
gaped at each of them.
  "Noooo!" Paige groaned, dashing back into the
kitchen with her dates-claws out-in hot pursuit.
  "Piper!" Paige cried. "One, please
don't be mad. Two, freeze these jokers!"
  Piper turned away from Bachelors 1 and 2
to put an instant freeze on 3 and 4.
  "This is ridiculous," Phoebe said. "Why
didn't we realize Paige shouldn't have answered the
door! And Paige? We'll deal with the "double
date" later, okay?"
  "An honest mistake," Paige grumbled,
crossing her arms irritably.
  "Let's orb these guys into the basement and come up
with a plan," Phoebe said.
  Paige grabbed two of her Kissers by the frozen
elbows and, crossing her fingers, orbed. When she
opened her eyes, she was on the basement side of the
door. Yes! Orbing back into the kitchen, she
repeated the maneuver. But this time the boys unfroze
as soon as they hit the basement steps.


  "You'll be sorry," Alan growled.
  "Inconstant love," Teddy roared.
  "Eeek!" Paige squealed before orbing out of the
basement. She landed back in the kitchen to the sound of
her suitors banging fruitlessly on the door.
  "Inconstant love," Paige muttered.
"Everyone's a critic."
  Then she stopped short.
  "Wait a minute," she said, turning to face her
sisters. "Love! That's what this is all about, right?
Thwarted love. And revenge for it? So maybe the
way out is to give the love that Lupercalus
wants."
  "So what do we do," Piper asked sarcastically.
"Bake them a cake?"
  "Well, I think we should start with the one you really
do love," Paige countered. "Maybe if you shower
Leo with affection, it'll knock the revenge demon
out of him."
  "Paige," Piper sputtered, "that's . . .
that's crazy!"
  "Is it?" Phoebe said, putting a hand on
Piper's shoulder. "You know, I'm feeling an
attack of guilt coming on. Because ... we haven't
exactly been the most supportive mates
lately."
  Piper looked down, then looked at Phoebe
skeptically.
  "I mean, the whole experience with Josh made me
realize how perfect Cole is for me," Phoebe
said. "He respects my magic, instead of

  ChAIGGMED
  fearing it. He's never run away from the challenge
of Halliwell life."
  Phoebe's voice choked.
  "And I was going to tell him all this, as soon as
things calmed down," she continued. "Now, I just
hope I get the chance."
  "You're right," Piper said, slumping against the
kitchen island. "Those dumb quizzes. Why did
I think my marriage was in a rut?"
  Suddenly Piper turned to Paige.
  "You're right," she said. "This is probably the
sappiest thing you'll ever hear me say, but . . .
maybe love can conquer all. Or at least,
Lupercalus. So let's give it a shot."
  Throwing open the basement door, Piper quickly
put every growling guy in the room in freeze frame.
Then Paige hurried down to the bottom of the
stairs, where Leo was frozen in midscowl. She
orbed him into the kitchen. Once the basement door was
securely locked again, Piper nodded at Paige
and Phoebe. They maneuvered Leo into a chair.
Then each grabbed one of his arms.
  Finally Piper flicked her finger at her husband,
unfreezing him.
  "Piper!" Leo roared. Instantly, his right hand
sprouted razor nails and he began flailing,
struggling to break free of Phoebe and Paige's
grip.
  "Leo ..." Piper began.
  "Sorry ... you'll be sorryl" Leo yelled.
  "Stop it!" Piper cried. She dropped to her


  knees in front of Leo. Suddenly she forgot
all about the plan. It was as if the crisis-and her
sisters-had melted away. And it was just she and Leo
here in the kitchen, the way they'd been so many times,
hanging out, chatting, laughing about Piper's culinary
experiments.
  Why did I never appreciate those things until
they were nearly gone, Piper thought, tears springing
to her eyes.
  "Leo," Piper began, "I'm sorry for what
I've put you through the last few days. I don't
know what I was thinking. Those things that might make you
a less-than-ideal modern husband, according to some
clueless relationship guru .. . those are the things that
make you mine. I love how you won't let me
open a door, no matter how strong my magic
is. I love the way you wake me up every morning
with a goofy little song. I love that you're content,
Leo."
  As Piper spoke, feeling like every word was coming from some
untapped well in her heart, she saw her
husband's face begin to soften.
  Glancing hesitantly at Phoebe, Piper
placed a tender hand on Leo's knee.
  "Okay, so you're quirky," she said with a small
smile. "Having a husband who's, well, dead
has its challenges. But it also means-I'm living
with an angel. I'll never take that for granted
again."
  With that, Piper slowly leaned in. She was sure
she saw a flicker of recognition in Leo's

  eyes just before their lips connected in a soft,
adoring kiss.
  Piper pulled back and smiled sweetly at
Leo. The moment was so blissful, she'd forgotten
her sisters were even there. She was startled when
Phoebe whispered, "He's calmed down. I think
it worked!"
  Shakily, Piper stood up. She gazed at
Leo's face, which was locked in a dreamy smile.
Then she looked at Paige and Phoebe.
  "Let him go," she said.
  "Are you sure-was
  "Let him go," Piper said. "He's my
husband. I know Leo will never hurt me."
  Tentatively, Phoebe and Paige released
Leo's arms. He stood shakily and took a
halting step toward Piper. It wasn't until
he'd almost reached her that Piper glanced down and
noticed . . . Leo's clawed hand. It hadn't
returned to normal.
  "Urn, Leo? ..." she squeaked.
  "Who's sorry now, woman?" Leo roared,
raising his talons over his head.


  UK3Vr tlMore didn't work!" Paige
screamed as Leo moved in on Piper, ready to rip
her heart out. Phoebe leapt onto her
brother-in-law. She straddled his back and grabbed
his flailing claw.
  "Piper," she yelled. "Freeze him!"
  Piper had stumbled backward into the middle of the
kitchen. She stared at Leo, who was spinning around,
trying to fight Phoebe off. She was in a daze.
She couldn't believe her outpouring of love had had
no effect on her husband.
  "Leo, please," she cried, broadcasting all
the hurt she felt into that one word.
  Leo stopped fighting Phoebe for an instant.
His eyes connected with Piper's. She gasped in
hope.
  And then, with a great burst of strength, he heaved
Phoebe off of him, sending her flying onto the
kitchen table.

  Without another moment's hesitation Piper threw
up her hands and froze her husband in his tracks.
Paige pointed at the frozen Leo and orbed him
into the basement. Unfortunately she accidentally
orbed the raging Alan out of the basement at the same
time.
  "Yah!" Alan cried, ducking and rolling behind the
kitchen island before any of the sisters could get a handle
on him.
  Paige grabbed a meat mallet out of the ceramic
pitcher of kitchen tools Piper kept by the stove.
Phoebe sent Piper a silent signal with her
eyes. Phoebe snuck around one side of the island
and Piper around the other.
  One, Piper mouthed.
  "Two," Phoebe whispered.
  "Three!" Paige screeched.
  But when all three sisters pounced to the opposite
side of the island, Alan was nowhere to be seen.
  "Um, screaming sort of does away with the element
of surprise we so value," Phoebe said
to Paige, rolling her eyes.
  "Sorry," Paige said. "This whole ambush thing
is a little new to me. I got overexcited."
  "And for that," said a sinister male voice above them,
"you'll pay!"
  Piper gasped as she glanced at the stove.
Perched like an agile monkey on the hood over the
range was Alan, his silver claws glinting in the
afternoon sunlight that flooded the kitchen.


  "How did he do that?" Paige demanded.
  "Something tells me there's more to Lupercalus's
magic than meets the eye," Phoebe said.
  "Yeah?" Piper said, still seething over Leo's
rejection. "Well, two can play at that."
  And before she could stop herself, she flicked her fingers
at Alan. He leapt from the stove hood just before an
explosion blasted a black, smoky hole in the
white-enameled tin.
  He landed on the desk chair, crouched like a feral
cat. Piper promptly shot another blast at
him. He dove out of the way again and this time, it was the
computer printer that bit it, exploding in a shower of
sparks.
  "Piper!" Phoebe cried. "Remember?
Innocent? We've got to subdue him without, you
know, subduing him!"
  Piper's hands halted in midflick.
  Phoebe dashed across the kitchen and caught Alan
in the gut with a neat roundhouse kick. Then she
pummeled him across the floor, backing him up
until he was standing in front of the basement door,
woozily trying to fend off Phoebe's blows.
  "Someone get the door!" Phoebe grunted.
Piper rushed over and opened the door a crack.
Phoebe shoved him through it, then slammed the door in
his sneering face.
  "Oh my God," Piper said shakily as
Phoebe slid the lock into place. "What did
I almost do?"

  "It's okay," Phoebe said. "Piper, you're
only human."
  "Half-human," Piper corrected her. "My
witch half should be above revenge. It's like I've
been infected by Lupercalus too. No offense,
Paige."
  Piper glanced at Paige. She was staring at the
obliterated printer with her fingers to her chin.
  "Paige?" Piper said again. "Hello? You
there?"
  "The computer," Paige said softly. "That's how
he did it."
  "What?" Phoebe said, walking over to Paige.
  "It all connects," Paige said, staring at her
sisters. "I can't believe I didn't see it.
Lupercalus got into my head through the computer!"
  "Okay, back up," Piper said. She righted the
desk chair that had somehow survived her little fire
fight with Alan. Then she sat Paige down.
"Start at the beginning."
  "Okay, well, I remember when I was
clicking through Kiss.com-every time I clicked the
mouse, these little flashes would pop out of the screen,"
Paige said as Phoebe and Piper pulled up
chairs to sit next to her. "They made me feel a
bit dizzy. Then I forgot all about it."
  "Oh-kay," Piper said. "Go on."
  "Well, here's the thing," Paige said. "Max
made me feel dizzy too. In the same way that
the computer did. I figured I was lovesick. But
maybe it was his icky demon-ness messing with my
head."


  "Hang on," Phoebe said. "This sounds
familiar. I'm going to snag the Book of
Shadows."
  A few minutes later, Phoebe had the Book
open on the kitchen counter. And she was pointing at a
page in triumph.
  "I knew it," she declared. "This is a section
about different classes of demons. It says
ephemeral demons can exist in the earth's orbit,
electrical fields, nuclear power
sources-anything that retains energy."
  "That explains why Max's weapons were such
shockers," Piper said. "He's made of
electricity!"
  "And to become corporeal and do his dirty work,"
Phoebe continued, squinting at the Book of
Shadows, "the demon needs a magic conduit."
  "And what is a witch-slash-Whiteligher if not
magic, incorporated?" Piper said. "So
Lupercalus was lurking within Kiss.com, waiting for
someone both lovelorn and supernatural to click
in."
  "Oh, this is so embarrassing," Paige said,
dropping her head into her hands.
  Phoebe slammed the Book shut and hopped off
the counter.
  "Would it make you feel any better if I
told you about the time we turned into the seven deadly
sins?" Phoebe said. "And mine was lust?"
  "Oh, yeah," Piper said. "Now that was
embarrassing."

  "Well, at least I didn't max out all our
credit cards with my greed," Phoebe said, sneering
playfully at Piper. "Talk about embarrassing.
Paige, she literally bought a George Foreman
grill for every room in the house."
  "Okay, let's stick to the subject, shall we?"
Piper cut in. "Here's my hunch. Lupercalus
was exiled in the computer until Paige's presence
released him. So the way to get rid of him?"
  She pointed at the darkened computer screen.
  "We need to keep him out of the box."
  Half an hour later Phoebe was putting the
final touches on a spell while Piper paced in
front of the basement door.
  "We have to hurry," she said. "The natives are
definitely getting restless down there."
  No sooner had the words left her mouth than a
loud crash reverberated out of the basement.
  "Sorry!!!!" several of the possessed men
bellowed in response.
  "Yeah," Piper yelled at the door. "Say it
like you mean it."
  She turned to her sisters.
  "Who knew revenge demons were so darn
tedious!" she said.
  "Okay!" Phoebe announced, finishing her
spell with a flourish. "Plan in place. All we
have to do is get Lupercalus into the kitchen and engage
him in a fight, which should be easy enough, considering his
violent tendencies.

  Death

  Then when he hurls one of his energy balls,
Piper freezes it. I douse the ball with the
Origin potion, which we will be whipping up shortly, and
it will zing right back into him, hopefully knocking him
out of his corporeal state. Then, while he's still
all fizzy, we say the spell that will whoosh him
into our low-tech receptacle."
  Phoebe held up a thick, glass mason jar
with a vacuum-seal top.
  "Grams's pickles lasted for decades in this
thing," she said. "And it's about as nonelectronic as
you can get. So it ought to hold Lupercalus-
indefinitely."
  "Not the simplest solution we've ever had to work
with," Piper said, biti ig her lip. "But, I've
got to say, it works."
  "Except for one little glitch," Phoebe
suddenly realized. "We can't do any of this stuff
without our handy-dandy demon in hand. Now that Max
knows we're onto him, and he's got a veritable
army of heartsuckers shacked up in our basement,
why would he come back on his own?"
  "I guess," Piper said with a sigh, "we're
going to have to play fetch-the-demon. Which means
someone's going to have to make another trip down that
silver rabbithole."
  "Ugh," Phoebe said, slapping her hands together
wearily. "Time to pummel a portal out of another
suitor. Let's move all the breakables out of the
room this time."

  A half hour later Paige and Phoebe were
hurtling through a brand-new, gooey time portal, which
had emerged from the head of the first suitor Paige
orbed in-Alan, as luck would have it.
  "Beggars can't be choosers," Phoebe had said as
she gave Alan a swift belt across the jaw. That
had been enough to unleash another howling cyclone. And,
gripping each other's hands tightly, Paige and
Phoebe had jumped in. Piper stayed home
to give Alan his memory spell and brew up the
Origin potion they'd need to banish Lupercalus.
She'd promised to wait exactly an hour, then
say the "Wytch Summoning" spell that would bring them
back through the portal, hopefully with Lupercalus
as their hostage.
  Squelch!
  After a long, circuitous tumble, the tunnel
finally spat Paige and Phoebe out. Paige
bounced, screaming, across a hard surface, then
stood up rubbing her backside painfully.
  "Ew!" she said. "That was the most disgusting trip of
my life."
  "That's time travel for you," Phoebe said.
She'd landed right next to Paige with a painful yelp.
Then she stood up and flicked a stream of silvery
goo off her arm.
  "But at least this time I know exactly where to find
our de-was
  Phoebe stopped in mid-declaration and looked
around in a panic.


  "Uh ... Paige?" she said, looking around her
wildly. "Does this look like ancient Alexandria
to you?"
  "Not unless there was a lost civilization of Soho
in ancient Egypt," Paige said, gazing at the
apartment in which they'd landed, complete with exposed
rafters, twelve-foot ceilings, and giant
windows with a gorgeous, urban view. "This is the
coolest loft I've ever seen!"
  "Well, would you expect anything less of Max
Wolf, superlawyer and revenge demon?"
Phoebe said. "Be on your guard, Paige."
  "Good point," Paige said, walking slowly across
the red-tinted cement floor. She paused
  by the long, glass dining black leather-and-chrome
  room table with the chairs. In the middle
  of the table was a black vase containing one perfect
calla lily. Across an Oriental rug was a
gleaming open kitchen and, beyond that, a Chinese screen
hiding ... something. Paige gave Phoebe a hard
look, then nodded at the screen. Together they tiptoed
over.
  Paige held her breath, caret enough quickly peeked
around the screen. She was so sure that Lupercalus
would be lyingj in wait for them, she was almost disappointed
to see nothing but a pristine, low bed piled high with a
fluffy, white-and-taupe duvet.
  "Well, the guy's got impeccable taste,
I'll give him that," Phoebe said stepping
cautiously into Max's bedroom and glancing around.
The loft

  was clearly empty. "I feel like we've walked
into a Crate and Barrel catalog."
  Blurp.
  "Phoebe?!" Paige cried. She blinked and
stared into the bedroom. Phoebe had been walking
toward the bed. And then, with a wet, squelching sound
she'd disappeared.
  Into thin air.
  She was just-gone.
  "What's going on?" Paige screamed, lurching
into the bedroom.
  Blurp.
  Paige felt as if someone had just pushed her through
a wall of Jell-O. And when she emerged, the
illusion continued. She was floating in a substance, a
crystal-clear, bright blue gel.
  And there was Phoebe, floating nearby, looking as
shell-shocked as she felt.
  "I guess that loft was too good to be true,"
Phoebe said, her voice sounding burbly and far
away in this strange substance.
  "I'm just grateful they have oxygen here," Paige
said. "Now we need to figure out where "here" is."
  They were surrounded on all sides by flashing
yellow lights and glowing bars. Slashes of lightning
occasionally zapped over their heads or below their feet.
And in the distance, Paige could see a tall
rectangular structure that looked eerily
familiar.


  "What is that?" Paige said, pointing at the
huge structure.
  "Is it a building?" Phoebe replied
hopefully.
  Paige made swimming motions and was surprised
to feel herself zing through the blue gel, leaving a bubbly
wake behind her. Phoebe swam up next to her, then
whizzed ahead.
  "I've got to admit," Paige said, feeling the
cool, gelatinous substance skim over her skin.
"This stuff is kind of cool."
  Suddenly, Phoebe threw her arms out to the
side, bringing herself to a startled halt. The
"building" they'd been swimming toward had just come
into view. Paige followed Phoebe's gaze.
  "I know what that is," Paige said. "It's a
... a..."
  "Computer chip," Phoebe said. "It's a
giant computer chip. Actually what's more likely
is that the computer chip is a normal size, which
means we've been shrunk to the size of pinheads and
plopped into Lupercalus's virtual world."
  "Oh," Paige said flatly. "Well . . .
this is new. But definitely not improved. You think
the spell to bring us back will still work from here, don't
you?"
  "I don't see why not," Phoebe said, spinning
around and scanning the bizarre electriworld for
Lupercalus. "Not that it'll do us any good if we
haven't bagged our demon by then."

  "Right," Paige said, looking at her watch.
"And we only have fourteen minutes to do it before
Piper calls us home."
  "Well," Phoebe said, gazing into the empty
abyss. "I'm stumped. He could be anywhere or
anything down here. He might have returned to his
ephemeral state, in which case, he'd be invisible."
  "So ... as your Grams likes to say,"
Paige suggested, "get him! Write a spell.
Just start rhyming."
  "A spell?" Phoebe said. "Just off the top of
my head? Just like that? Paige, I don't think you
understand how delicate an operation spell-wri-was
  "Give us this soul, um, brimming with malice .
. ." Paige called out. "Bring before us,
Lupercalus!"
  "That's your spell?" Phoebe said with a
patronizing smile. "Well, it's not bad-was
  "What the hell is going on here!"
  Phoebe and Paige whirled around in the bubbly
gel to see ... the demon himself.
  Lupercalus was floating before them.
  His hair had morphed from his slicked do into a
long, flowing mane. He'd ditched his earth clothes
and was clad in a shimmery, silver robe. And his
yellow eyes were glowing bright with rage.
  "No witch has the power to summon me in


  my own world," Lupercalus raged. His face was
a mask of anger and just a hint of confusion.
  "No mere witch," Paige countered. "But,
Lupercalus, you should have done a bit of research before
possessing this witch. We're the Charmed Ones."
  "And guess who's gonna be sorry, now?"
Phoebe said. She kicked her legs and whipped
over to Lupercalus, putting his head in a choke
hold.
  "Off!" Lupercalus bellowed. His entire
body began to spark and he zapped Phoebe with a
lightning bolt of pain. Moaning, she released him
and floated backward. Her arms trembled
violently.
  Paige gasped and backed away as Lupercalus
took a moment to recover. Then he began to float
toward her, his eyes narrowing to gold slits.
Paige gave him a defiant glare, then glanced
quickly at her watch. She gasped when she saw the
time.
  "Phoebe," Paige said, catching her sister's
eye. "Thirty seconds."
  "I'm on it," Phoebe gasped.
  "On what?" Lupercalus sneered. "Do you
really think you can conquer me? And in my own
environment? You know, my demons aren't the only
ones who have claws."
  With that, Lupercalus raised both hands in the
air. Almost instantly each hand morphed

  into a network of gnashing blades. His weapons were
twice as foreboding as those of his possessed minions.
  Phoebe shot Paige a terrified glance.
  Five seconds, Paige mouthed, glancing at
her digital watch. Four... three ...
  "You know, Max," Phoebe said as she neatly
dodged a swipe of Lupercalus's hand. "Great
knives. But bad timing." She leapt upon him from
behind, grabbing both wrists and yanking them behind his head.
Lupercalus roared in rage, but, for that instant
anyway, did seem to be paralyzed by Phoebe's
strength.
  Then Phoebe squeezed her eyes shut and
waited for the portal to emerge. She could picture
Piper in the kitchen, uttering the spell, her potion
in hand. Piper always comes through, Phoebe thought
gratefully.
  The only glitch in the warm fuzzy? The portal
never came.


  Hall 311 llOlir after Paige and Phoebe
leapt into the time portal, Piper had sent a confused
but memory-washed Alan on his way. Then she'd
placed the mason jar and its quick-seal top carefully
on the kitchen's island.
  Now she was nervously putting the finishing touches
on the Origin spell, and just in time. She only had
five minutes before she had to read the spell that would
summon Phoebe, Paige, and hopefully, their
revenge demon, back into the kitchen.
  Piper tossed exactly five mustard seeds
into the bubbling saucepan on the stove, then looked
at her watch.
  "And three, two, one-was
  Boom!
  A pink geyser erupted out of the pot like a garish
flower. Then it plopped back into the potion.

  "Okay," Piper muttered, peering into the Book
of Shadows. "Next it should turn "brackish
green, then corpse blue." Ugh, potions like this
are what give witches a bad name. We couldn't
describe them, say, as mossy green and powder
blue?"
  Piper watched as her bubbly potion began
to change color.
  "Well, at least it's working," she said. "And
I've got to admit, "corpse blue" is the
perfect description for that color."
  She took another peek at her recipe.
  "Now add . . . well, what do you know!"
Piper said, reading the recipe again. "Eye of
newt! I thought it was just a myth. But there actually
is a potion that calls for eye of newt!"
  Paige sifted through Grams's old spice box
and found a dusty glass bottle filled with tiny,
black orbs. Cringing she popped two of the tiny
eyeballs into her palm, then dropped them into the
pot.
  She let the potion simmer for thirty more
seconds, then used her turkey baster (which would no
longer be used for turkey, that was for sure)
to transfer the potion into a glass vial. Piper
corked it up and checked her watch.
  "Perfect," she said, slipping the vial into her
capri pants pocket. "Made it with one minute
to spare."
  She walked around the island with the Book of Shadows
and flipped to the page with the summoning spell.

  Death

  And that's when the basement door splintered and
three, glinting, clawed hands thrust themselves into the
kitchen.
  "Oh, great!" Piper cried, dropping the Book
on the floor. "Now you guys figure out how to work
together? I don't have time for this!"
  She hurried to the door, getting ready to freeze
the demons before they could bust into the kitchen. But just as
she reached the door, it crashed open, hitting her
square in the chest.
  "Ooof!" Piper grunted as the blow threw her
through the air. She heard, rather than felt, her head
hit the kitchen island.
  Leo, she thought, her eyelids fluttering
weakly, help me.
  And then she felt her consciousness slip away
into gray, followed by total darkness.
  "Phoebe?" Paige said through gritted teeth.
"Where's the portal?"
  "Search me!" Phoebe grunted.
  "If only I had a free hand, I would,"
Paige replied with a grimace.
  But every one of the sisters' limbs was occupied in
trying to overpower Lupercalus and his thrashing, lethal
hands. The three of them were still suspended in virtual,
blue gel, and entangled in one brutal battle.
  And the demon had the advantage.
  "You'll never take me," Lupercalus raged,
spinning around in the computer-generated gel.

  "After all, an ethereal demon can take all
forms," he continued.
  And thaf s when Max Wolf began to melt
away. His handsome, rugged face began to morph into a
reptilian visage-green, slimy, and encrusted with
raw scabs. His yellow eyes bulged like those of a
corpse. His body began to elongate. Slipping out
of his silvery robe, Lupercalus became a
slimy, eel-like, seven-foot-long... monster.
  Paige and Phoebe took one look at each
other. Then both of them screamed the same thing:
"Piper!"
  But when their screams subsided, the substance in which
they were floating became eerily silent.
  Okay, Paige thought in panic, our time
portal? It's definitely not happening. As an
alternative, my new boyfriend is going to eat us!
  Paige grabbed Phoebe's hand and mouthed to her,
What now?
  Lupercalus was swimming around them in a
predatory circle. He flicked his thick,
scaly tail, sending a froth of bubbles into their
faces. Then he reared back and spat at them. But
instead of something wet and slimy, Lupercalus spat
electricity. A sparking energy ball whizzed past
Phoebe's ear.
  "I've created this world!" Lupercalus roared.
"I control it. Which means I control you! And
believe me, I'll have some fun with you before I kill
you."


  "Just like you did with Catherine!" Phoebe yelled.
  Ooh, Paige thought as Lupercalus skidded to a
halt and roared with rage. Perhaps that wasn't the most
tactful way to put it.
  "Never mind, then," he said to Phoebe. "If
that's what you want, I'll just slay you now."
  "Phoebe!" Paige screamed. She began
to hyperventilate as Lupenjalus reared back and
opened his mouth wide. His teeth were long and jagged and
they were stained a disgusting brown.
  Phoebe grabbed Paige by the shoulders and stared
at her fiercely.
  "Orb!" she ordered her.
  "What?" Paige gasped.
  "Paige, orb us out of here," Phoebe said.
"Get us home or we're doomed."
  "My orbing, it's so; haphazard, I don't
know-was
  "Now, Paige!" Phoebe screamed. Then she
turned to Lupercalus and shouted, "You want us?
Come and get us!"
  "Raaaaaggghhh!" Lupercalus screeched. He
lunged at the sisters in full attack mode.
  "Aaaagggh!" Paige screamed.
  She grabbed Phoebe. And then she orbed.
  When the white lights shimmered away, Paige
blinked and looked around. They were no longer floating
in blue gel and Lupercalus

  was nowhere to be seen. She heaved a shaky sigh of
relief.
  Then she stopped for a minute to regard her
surroundings: big, green, leafy stalks. A
cloudless blue sky. And a rustly, peaceful
breeze.
  Mooooo.
  And ... the sound of a cow nearby.
  "Uh-oh," Paige said.
  "Paige," Phoebe said, shielding her eyes and
looking around. "This ... is a cornfield. I
think you orbed us to Iowa."
  "Well, Iowa's better than Lupercalus's
hologram from hell, isn't it?" Paige
protested. "I told you, my orbing isn't quite
refined yet."
  "Well, you'd better get it refined, because I just
baited Lupercalus into following us!" Phoebe
shrieked. "And if he took the bait, then he's
probably making an appearance at Halliwell
Manor right about now."
  "Piper!" Paige breathed. She grabbed
Phoebe's hand and squeezed her eyes shut. She
tried to envision Halliwell Manor, to propel
herself through the heavens and make a direct hit to her
new home. She felt the warm, glimmery sensation
of her white lights swirling around her body. She
felt the weightless zoom of the orb. And then she
opened her eyes.
  "Close, but no banana, Paige!" Phoebe
was screaming.
  Paige found herself clutching a metal beam and
fighting a whipping wind. She looked down


  and saw a stream of tiny cars, and then, a swirling
body of water.
  "The Golden Gate bridge?!?" Paige
squeaked. "I orbed us onto the top of the Golden
Gate?"
  "Yup!" Phoebe cried from her awkward perch
on a nearby beam. "And I'm losing my grip.
Try again!"
  Paige reached out for her sister and orbed as soon
as she felt their fingertips touch. When the white
lights finished fluttering, Paige opened her eyes
fearfully.
  "Yes!" she cried. She and Phoebe had landed
in the Halliwells' kitchen. "I can't believe
I did- Piper!?!"
  Paige gasped as she saw Piper sprawled on
the kitchen floor. The Book of Shadows was lying
next to her. She was out cold.
  "Phoebe, help me get Piper into the living
room," Paige said, rushing over to her
unconscious sister.
  "Um," Phoebe quavered, "now is not the best
time."
  Paige looked up in confusion and saw Phoebe
backing away from a phalanx of men-Teddy,
Charlie, James, and Cole. Their eyes had
begun to glow yellow, just like Lupercalus's. And they
were swinging their clawed hands malevolently.
  "Little help here?" Phoebe squeaked.
  "Mallet!" Paige cried, feeling a surge
of heat in her hand as the wooden meat mallet orbed
into it. Then she stole up behind the quartet of

  possessed men and gave each one a swift
thwack on the head. Like a stack of dominoes, they
each crumpled to the floor.
  Paige stared at the pile of men and wondered out
loud, "Where's Leo?"
  "No time to look," Phoebe said, turning
to Piper. She ran to her pale, limp sister and
leaned over her. And that's when a familiar howling
filled the kitchen.
  Paige and Phoebe clutched each other as a time
portal erupted gushily from the floor. Its mouth
pulsated and glowed, shooting little lightning bolts
into the kitchen.
  "Ow!" Paige screamed as a searing bolt of
electricity grazed her arm. It sent a jolt of
hot pain down to her wrist and burned a hole in her
favorite silk cardigan. She glanced at
Phoebe.
  "Well, I guess your bait worked," she
yelled over the roaring of the portal's swirl of
wind. "But now what do we do? With Piper laid out,
we don't have the Power of Three. And I don't
see the Origin potion anywhere. Maybe Piper
didn't have a chance to make it!"
  "Piper!" Phoebe said, roughly shaking her
sister by the shoulders. "Oh, please, Piper, we
need you!"
  "You'll need all the help you can get," roared a
demonic voice. Phoebe and Paige whipped
around and screamed as Lupercalus, still in his crusty,
slimy, monster-eel body, slithered out of the time
portal. Immediately the portal closed


  and melted away into nothingness, which left the demon
alone, in the middle of the Halliwells' kitchen.
His bald, scaly head hit the ceiling, leaving
dents in the plaster as he skimmed across the floor
to thrust his face into Paige's. His breath was hot and
smelled of an electrical fire.
  "You wanted love, did you?" he cried.
"Well, I wanted love too. I offered
Catherine a kingdom. But unfortunately for you she
rejected me. Out of spite. Out of malice."
  "You don't know what love is, you monster,"
Paige sneered.
  "Then . . . neither will you," Lupercalus
bellowed. He opened his mduth wide and lunged for
Paige's neck. She screamed and braced herself for
death.
  But instead she felt a shoe graze the tip of her
nose as Phoebe cut in, kicking Lupercalus
square in the jaw. Brown, rotten teeth scattered
onto the floor and the demon howled in pain, stumbling
backward. Paige threw herself against his gut and
gave a tremendous push. The already off-balance
monster collapsed, pinning his own tail beneath him. A
lightning bolt burst out of his mouth as he hit the
floor.
  "I've got him," Phoebe said, pouncing on
Lupercalus with a volley of kicks, punches, and
stomps. "Try to revive Piper!"
  "Okay," Paige said breathlessly, stumbling
away from the fight and turning to her other sister. But
somebody was already leaning over her.

  Somebody with matted blond hair and a wild
look in his eyes.
  "Leo!" Paige screamed. "Nooooo!"
  Imagining Leo's morphed, knifelike fingers
digging into Piper's chest, Paige leapt across the
kitchen and pounced on him. But he barely moved, so
focused was he on his wife.
  "Stop it!" Paige screamed, grabbing at
Leo's arm.
  But her mouth clapped shut as soon as she saw
what Leo was actually doing. He wasn't piercing
Piper's flesh with his silver nails. In fact his
talons weren't even bared. Instead he was resting his
palms on Piper's head and they were glowing brightly.
  An instant later Piper's eyes fluttered
open.
  "Leo, you're back?" Piper said.
  "I'm back," Leo said. "I don't know what
happened. I saw you lying there and it was like something shut
off in my brain. Something terrible. Oh, Piper,
I'm so sorry I tried to hurt you!"
  "It wasn't you, sweetie," Piper said,
wrapping her arms around her husband. "It wasn't
you. I know that."
  Over Leo's shoulder, Piper saw Paige.
Her eyes widened.
  "Paige!" she exclaimed, disentangling herself from
her husband's embrace. "How did you get here?
Did I say the spell? And, oh my God, what
is that thing?"
  Piper was pointing at Lupercalus, who was


  still locked in battle with Phoebe. He was
matching her blow for blow, and literally spitting
fire. Both witch and demon were screaming with rage.
But only Phoebe was growing weak. Paige could
see her already beginning to stumble.
  "Never mind how we got back here," Paige
said. "It's spell-time again. Piper, did you make
the potion?"
  Piper reached into her pants pocket and pulled out
a glass vial of blue liquid. Paige grabbed
it and called out to Phoebe.
  "Phoebe, over here!"
  Then she turned to Leo and pointed at the pile of
comatose suitors near the breakfast table.
  "Orb those guys out of here, will you?" she said. "I
don't want them to get hurt."
  As Leo cleared the room with a flurry of white
lights, Phoebe glanced over her shoulder. She
saw Paige and Piper standing next to each other by the
stove and leapt away from Lupercalus. She stumbled
over to her sisters. Piper put an arm around
Phoebe, who was almost too exhausted to sjtand after
her knockout fight with the demon.
  But the demon, of ccurse, was ready for more.
  "Three little maids, all in a row," he roared.
"The better to obliterate you all at once."
  He reared back and hawked with a disgusting, wretching
noise. Then he spat a giant blue ball of
shimmering sparks across the room.

  Paige uncorked the vial of Origin potion.
Cringing, she threw the ice blue liquid through the
air. The energy ball and potion collided over the
island with a violent, hissing noise.
  "Oooh, I hope this works," Phoebe cried.
  The energy ball was definitely halted by the
potion. It hovered in the air for a moment, sizzling and
shooting little lightning bolts in all directions.
  And then, slowly, the ball reversed direction.
  "What the-was Lupercalus began. But then the
energy ball made a direct hit. Screeching in
terror and pain, Lupercalus's demonic shape
exploded with a huge, mind-blowing boom.
  The sisters ducked and covered their heads,
expecting a slime bath. But all that came of the
explosion was a huge poof of shimmery, silvery
dust, pulsing in the air like a swarm of
supernatural bees.
  "The spell!" Piper cried, pulling a slip of
paper from her pocket. "All together!"
  The Halliwells began to chant as one:
  Lupercalus, vengeful soul,
  We bind you from your evil goal.
  Through Catherine's will
  And our Charmed power
  Let this be your last cruel hour.
  As the last word echoed through the room, the shimmering
swarm began to vibrate and


  writhe. Then the cloud seemed to recoil. It was
trying to fight off a force that was sucking it in. But
Lupercalus-ephemeral and helpless once again-was
no match for the Charmed Ones' magic. The swirl of
dust became compact as it began to shoot into the mason
jar on the kitchen counter. As the last specks
popped into the jar, a horrible howl filled the house,
a scream of agony and frustration. It was one last,
fruitless call for revenge.
  Piper popped the top on the mason jar and
twisted it until the vacuum-seal gave a little
pop.
  Then all was quiet.
  As Paige and Phoebe slumped over in
exhaustion, Piper grabbed a permanent marker and a
label out of the desk drawer.
  "Revenge Demon-Do Not Open-Ever!" she
wrote on the label before sticking it onto the jar.
Then, without ceremony, she went to the pantry and
tucked the dust-filled mason jar onto the back
of the highest shelf.
  "And that, as they say in the tennis world, is a
match," Piper said, turning to her sisters with a weary
smile. "Halliwells, forty. Lupercalus,
love."

  P p into the bedroom where Cole was
  sleeping and got to work. She placed a huge,
foil-wrapped chocolate kiss on the nightstand.
Then she scattered red rose petals all over the
comforter. Next she poured a cup of Cole's
favorite French roast coffee into a mug and
wafted it beneath his nose.
  Bingo. The boy was rising.
  "Phoebe?" he said groggily. He blinked
sleepily and raised his head off the pillow. "What
time is it?"
  "It's Valentine's Day, that's what time it
is," Phoebe announced. She planted a
sloppy kiss on Cole's forehead. "Which leads us
to a very serious question: Will you be my Valentine, Mr.
Turner?"
  Cole gave Phoebe a sly grin and said,
"Only if you'll be mine, Ms. Halliwell."


  "Drink," Phoebe ordered, thrusting the
fragrant mug of joe beneath his nose. "I know you
can't be taken at your word until you've had your
a.m. caffeine. Then again neither can I. Can I have a
sip?"
  Cole took a loud slurp of coffee, then
passed the mug to Phoebe. He scooped a handful
of rose petals off the bedspread and sprinkled them
playfully over her head.
  "Hey, you're ruining the romantic set
design," Phoebe protested with a laugh.
  Cole laughed too. Then his face darkened a
bit and he pulled Phoebe into his arms.
  "Phoebe, are you really sure this is what you
want?"
  "Being your Valentine?" Phoebe asked, still
grinning.
  "Being my fiancee," C said. "The whole
Lupercalus episode . . . well, it was a bit
illuminating." I
  Phoebe looked down guiltily.
  "I never did tell you what happened with Josh in
ancient Egypt," she said. "But I want to tell
you now."
  Phoebe felt Cole stiffen. His blue eyes
went steely as he said, "Okay, I'm ready
to hear it."
  "Josh finally explained to me what went wrong in
our relationship," Phoebe said. "While we
witnessed Maxentius putting Saint Catherine through
torture, we had a little torture of our own:
Revisiting the past."
  "And ..." Cole asked, his jaw clenching.

  "And I realized what our problem was,"
Phoebe said, cupping Cole's cheeks in her
hands. "He wasn't you. Cole, I'm so
grateful to have you. Not only because you're strong and
smart and a total babe but because . . . you're not
afraid to marry a psychic, levitating,
butt-kicking witch who's very, very close with her
sisters."
  "Now that you put it that way," Cole said, "um,
I think I have to leave!"
  "You!" Phoebe giggled, giving him a swat on
the arm.
  "Seriously, though," Cole said, "I'm not just
grateful for you, Phoebe. I'm proud of you. Your
strength is nothing but good. For me ... and for us."
  There was nothing else Phoebe could say. She could
only lean into her sweetie and plant a soft,
sweet kiss on his lips.
  "Speaking of strength," she murmured as Cole
nibbled her earlobe, "mine is waning. Let's
sneak down to the kitchen and make a little breakfast
picnic."
  "Perfect," Cole said.
  They tossed on some bathrobes and crept down the
stairs.
  "Stay quiet," Phoebe whispered over her
shoulder as they padded across the dining room to the kitchen.
"I love it when we have the place to our-oh, uh,
hi guys."


  Piper, who was lounging at the kitchen table in her
pajamas, jumped. And Leo, who'd been dangling
a chocolate-covered strawberry over Piper's
lips, went hot pink in the cheeks.
  "We caught you being mushy!" Phoebe teased.
  "Yeah, happy Valentine's Day to you, too,"
Piper said, mock-glaring at her sister and Cole.
  "I guess we're all in the mood for love,
now that we don't have a bitter revenge demon
messing with our heads," Phoebe said. As Leo and
Cole flopped into a couple of kitchen chairs, she
headed to the fridge. She emerged with a bowl of eggs
and a stick of butter.
  "Of course, none of our heads were messed with as
badly as Paige's," Piper said, guiltily.
She pulled a loaf of homemade whole-wheat out
of the breadbox and started slicing it.
  "You're right," Phoebe said. "It's such a
bummer. Here she was, looking for love, and instead,
she got revenge, death, time travel,
demonology..."
  "There's got to be some cultural message in
that," Cole piped up.
  "Nah, just the usual trials and tribulations of
singleton life," Phoebe said. "Ooh, am I
glad it's behind me."
  "Really?" Cole said, locking eyes with
Phoebe from across the room.
  Phoebe abandoned the eggs she was cracking into a
bowl and went to sit on Cole's lap.

  "Really!" she assured him, giving him a kiss
on the cheek.
  "Now, now, enough with the PDA," Piper said. "I
think we should try to be sensitive to Paige today.
The whole reason she went on Kiss.com was to find
a Valentine's sweetie. So she might be really
bummed this morning."
  "Good morning to you, too!" Paige said. She'd
just popped through the door. She practically bounced
into the kitchen. "What's for breakfast, Ma?"
  "Oh, how about omelets, Biff," Piper said,
scanning Paige's face for angst. How much of that
had she heard?
  "Cool," Paige said, sitting in a chair
next to Cole and Phoebe. "Can you make mine
first? I've got to take off in a few minutes."
  "No prob," Piper said, taking over the
breakfast prep from Phoebe as usual.
  Chime.
  "Ugh, the dreaded doorbell," Phoebe said,
shivering as she slid off Cole's lap into a chair
of her own. "Ever since Paige's dates from
hell, I hate that sound."
  "Urn, Phoebe," Piper said through gritted
teeth. She pointed her eggy whisk at her sister
threateningly. "Remember what I said about, you know,
sensitivity?"
  But Paige was oblivious.
  "I'll get it!" she sing-songed, dashing out of the
room.


  "Well, for someone who's romantically crushed,
Paige is pretty cheery!" Phoebe said. "And
what's she wearing? A sparkly tube top and
miniskirt? That's a little racy for work clothes.
Even for Paige!"
  "Well, maybe I'm not going straight to work,"
Paige announced, re-entering the kitchen with a
triumphant grin. Spilling out of her arms were
three bouquets of flowers.
  "Who are those from?" Piper gasped.
  "I don't know, let's see!" Paige said with a
grin. She sifted through the pink roses and frothy
hydrangeas, fishing out three cards.
  "Aw, Just James," she said, reading one. "Such
a doll. And Teddy remembered how much I like
sweet peas. And who's this weird-looking one from?
Oh! Lung Chow!"
  "Paige?" Phoebe said. "I'm confused.
Weren't your dates total duds?"
  "They were, but now they're studs!" Paige said.
"You guys were right. Lupercalus totally hexed me.
When I gave the guys another chance, and, more
importantly, they gave me one, I found each
one more irresistible than the last."
  "Did she say, "fasf?" Leo muttered with a
grin.
  "I'll pretend I didn't hear that because I have
to leave," Paige said, sticking her tongue out at
Leo and grinning. Then she went to the walk-in
pantry and dug out Sweetie's cat carrier.
  "Sweetie!" she called. "Time for your
checkup!"

  Sweetie, who must have thought Paige was talking
about food, trotted into the kitchen. Paige wiggled
the skinny Siamese into the cat carrier and snapped
the door shut.
  "And can I ask where you're going with our
familiar?" Phoebe said.
  "To the vet," Paige said innocently. "Just a
little check-up. No spaying, I promise."
  "And would this vet happen to be a red-haired
cutie?" Piper said.
  "A red-haired Kisser," Phoebe corrected
her.
  "Let's just say," Paige responded, picking
up the cat carrier and sashaying to the door, "that this
year, I'm having a charmed Valentine's Day."