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Book Information:
Genre: Sci-fi/Fantasy
Author: Matthew Woodring Stover
Name: Blade of Tyshalle
Series: Caine Series
======================
A Del Rey* Book
Published by The Ballantine Publishing Group
Copyright ® 2001 by Matthew Woodring Stover
All rights reserved under International and
Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Published in the
of Random House, Inc.,
Del Rey is a registered trademark and
the Del Rey colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc.
www.randomhouse.com/delrey/
LIBRARY OP CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA
Stover,
Matthew Woodring.
Blade of Tyshalle / Matthew Woodring Stover.
p. cm.
1. Twins—Fiction. I. Title.
PS3569.T6743 B58 2001
813'.54---dc2l 00-067475
Text design by Holly Johnson
Cover design by David Stevenson
Cover art by Dave McKean
Manufactured in the
First Edition: April 2001
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
This book is dedicated to the memories of some of
the best friends any man could ask for. I only wish you could have lived to
read it.
For Evangeline, Aleister, and Friedrich; for Lev,
John, Clive, and Terence;
for Roger and Fritz and both Bobs (Robert A. and
Robert E.).
Even
today, some still listen.
But
we have soothed ourselves into imagining sudden change as some-thing that
happens outside the normal order of things. An accident, like a car crash. Or
beyond our control, like a fatal illness. We do not conceive of sudden,
irrational change as built into the very fabric of existence. Yet it is. And
chaos theory teaches us ... that straight linearity, which we have come to take
for granted in everything from physics to fiction, simply does not exist... .
Life
is actually a series of encounters in which one event may change those that
follow in a wholly unpredictable, even devastating way... .
That's
a deep truth about the structure of our universe. But, for some reason, we
insist on behaving as if it were not true.
—"Ian
Malcom" Michael Crichton
Do
what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
—Aleister
Crowley
The
Book of the Law
A
tale is told of twin boys born to different mothers.
One
is dark by nature, the other light. One is rich, the other poor. One is harsh,
the other gentle. One is forever youthful, the other old before his time.
One
is mortal.
They
share no bond of blood or sympathy, but they are twins nonetheless.
They
each live without ever knowing that they are brothers. They each die fighting
the blind god.
ZERO
The
only way I can explain why you'll never see me again is to tell you about Hari.
This
is how I visualize the conversation that ended up pushing me into Hari
Michaelson's life. I wasn't there—I don't know the details-but the images in my
head are vivid as a slap on the mouth; to be a good thaumaturge, your
imagination must be powerful and detailed—and I'm the best the Conservatory has
ever produced.
This
is how I see it:
"It's
all here in the telemetry;" says Administrator Wilson Chandra, Chairman of
the Studio Conservatory. He wipes the sweat from his palms on the hem of his
Costanti chlamys and blinks through a stinging cloud of cigar smoke. He licks
his lips—they're thick, and always dry—as he looks down at the rows of trainee
magicians who meditate with furious concentration below. I'm not in that class,
by the way; these are beginners.
Chandra
goes on: "He's doing very well on the academics, you know, he has a fine
grasp of Westerling and is coming along very well in First Continent cultural
mores, but as you can see, he can barely maintain alpha, let alone moving to
the beta consciousness required for effective spellcasting, and we, we're
working only with Distraction Level Two, approximately what he will find in,
say, a private room in a metropolitan inn, and under these circumstances I
simply don't believe—"
"Shut
up, will you?" says the other man on the techdeck. "Christ, you make
me tired."
"I,
ahm ..." Administrator Chandra runs a hand through his thinning hair,
sweat-slick despite the climate control. "Yes, Businessman."
Businessman
Marc Vilo, the Patron of the student in question, rolls the thick stinking
cigar around his mouth as he stumps forward to get a better view through the
glass panel.
Businessman
Vilo is, a short, skinny, bowlegged man with the manners of a dockhand and the
jittery energy of a fighting cock. I've seen him in the netfeatures plenty
of times; he's an unimpressive figure in his conservative jumpsuit and cloak,
until you remember that he'd been born into a Tradesman family; he'd taken over
the family business, a three-truck transport firm, and had built it into the
Business powerhouse Vilo Intercontinental. Still only in his mid-forties, he had
purchased his family's contract from their Business Patron, bought his way into
the Business caste, and was now one of the wealthiest men—outside the Leisure
Families—in the Western Hemisphere. Netfeatures call him the Happy Billionaire.
This
is why Administrator Chandra is here right now; normally the Administrator has
much more important duties than entertaining visiting Patrons. But Vilo's
protégé-the very first he has ever sponsored into the Conservatory—is failing
miserably and is about to wash out, and the Administrator wants to soothe the
sting, and perhaps retain a certain degree of goodwill, in hopes that Vilo will
sponsor further students in the future. This is a business he's running here,
after all. Sponsoring an Actor can be extremely lucrative, if the Actor becomes
successful just ask my father. The Administrator wants to make Vilo see that
this is only a single failed investment, and is no reason to believe that
further investments of this nature will also fail. "There is also, ehm, a,
well, a certain history of disciplinary problems—"
"Thought
I told you to shut up:' Vilo continues to stare down at his protégé, a slightly
built boy named Hari Michaelson, nineteen years old, a Laborer from
The
boy kneels on his meter-square mat of scuffed plastic, hands curled in Three
Finger technique. Of the thirty students in the room, only he has his eyes
closed. The monitors on his temples that feed data into the Conservatory
computer tell the whole story: Despite the slow three-per-minute rhythm of his
breath, his heart rate has surged over eighty, his adrenal production is 78
percent over optimal, and his EEG spikes like broken glass.
Vilo
pulls the butt from his mouth. "Why in-hell did you put him in the magick
program anyway?"
"Businessman,
we went over this when he was admitted. His memory and spatial-visualization
test out in the low genius range. There is no question that he has the
intellectual equipment to be a fine adept. However, he is emotionally unstable,
prone to irrational rages, and is, ah, uncontrollably aggressive. There is a
history of mental illness in his family, you know; his father was downcasted
from Professional due to a succession of breakdowns?'
"Yeah?"
Vilo said. "So what? I know this kid; he worked for me two years. Sure,
he's got a temper. Who doesn't? He's smart, and he's tough as my goddamn
boot heel." He smiles, showing his teeth, predatory. "Kind of like me
at his age."
"You
understand, Businessman, that we take these steps only to protect you from the
expense of sponsoring a boy who will almost certainly perish on his first
transfer."
"So?
That's his problem, not mine. The money is—" He spits a shred of tobacco
onto the carpet. "—not an issue:'
"He
will simply never become an effective spellcaster. I'm sorry, but there are
certain restrictions imposed by the Studio. The examinations administered by
the Graduation Board are very stringent."
Chandra
makes a gesture as though to take the Businessman's arm and lead him away.
"Perhaps I can show you our newest pilot program, the priesthood school.
This particular spellcasting variant has the advantage that the practitioner
need enter the casting trance only under very controlled conditions—that is,
under the guise of religious ritual—"
"Cut
the crap:' Vilo stuffs his cigar back into his mouth. "I got a shitload of
money in that kid out there. A shitload. I don't give a rat's ass about
the Studio's restrictions, or the goddamn examinations. That kid is going to
graduate from this toilet, and then he's going to Overworld."
"I'm
afraid that's simply impossible—"
"You
gonna make a liar out of me?" Vilo's eyes seem to retreat into his face,
becoming small and dangerous. He hammers the next word. "Administrator?"
"Please,
Businessman, you, you must understand, he's been in the magick program fourteen
months; we must either, either, ah, graduate him or wash him out in only ten
more, and his, and his progress—"
Vilo
goes back to the window; he's more interested in the cherry on the end of his
cigar than in Chandra's stammer. "Your parents live in, what, Chicago,
right? That nice old frame house on Fullerton, west of Clark."
Chandra
stands very still. Ice water trickles down his spine. "Yes, Businessman
..."
"You
gotta understand that I don't make bad investments. You follow? Hari gets his
shot."
"Businessman,
I—" Chandra says desperately, then with a massive exercise of will
steadies his voice. "There are other options that can be explored ..
"
"I'm
listening."
"Please,
Businessman, perhaps I was too hasty in suggesting that Michaelson cannot
succeed. He is, after all, in Battle Magick, which is the most difficult
school, but it is the one place where his, erm, aggressive na ture may
work to his advantage. My idea—with your permission—is to provide him with a
tutor:'
"He
doesn't have tutors? What the hell am I paying for?"
"Tutors,
yes, of course, staff tutors. Michaelson doesn't respond well to directed
instruction. He, ah—" Chandra decides not to tell him of the brutal
beating Michaelson had inflicted on Instructor Pullman. I knew about it, so did
most of the students at the Conservatory; it was the best gossip we'd had all
year. Chandra believes that issue is settled; and, really, the man had gotten
no worse than he deserved. In Chandra's mind, to make advances on a boy with
Michaelson's psychosexual dysfunctions had been irresponsible to the point of
criminality. Speaking for the students—well, Pullman's a nasty little groper; a
lot of us wished we'd done what Michaelson did.
"I'm
thinking more in terms of another student, someone who'd have no authority over
him, who could, well—he doesn't respond well to authority figures, as you might
know—someone who could, well, be his friend."
"What,
he doesn't have friends enough already?"
"Businessman,"
Chandra says with a nervous laugh, "he doesn't have any friends at
all."
And
that's when he decided to send for me.
2
Overworld.
When
the Winston Transfer first opened the gate from Earth to Overworld, the Studio
had been lurking in the background, waiting to step through. Overworld is a
land of dragons and demons, of hippogryphs and mermaids, of hedge wizards and
thieves, master enchanters and noble knights.
It is
a billion dreams come true.
I
burn for it. I lust for Overworld the way a martyr dreams of the arms of God.
My
father took me to first-hand one of Raymond Story's early Adventures when I was
seven years old, and when Story spoke a Word of Power and the Hammer of
Dal'kannith smote an evil ogre and splashed the brains from its leering
ten-gallon head, I felt the soaring echo of his joy of battle and the surge of
puffing magick and well, you know: there really aren't any words.
For
my tenth birthday, my father bought me the cube of Story's epic three-day
battle with the mad dragon Sha-Rikldntaer. The very first of the thousand or so
times I played it, I knew.
I had
to do it. I had to be there.
Ten
years intervening have only sharpened my lust.
Everything
in my life was perfect. I was at the top of my class, had the highest psych
rating the Conservatory had ever measured, my elving surgeries were going
perfectly, and I was absolutely on top of the world until Chandra called me
into his office and took it all away.
When
I went in there and took his offered seat, I had no idea of the preceding
imaginary conversation. I expected another stroke-up over my spectacular
progress, and so it came as a rude shock to be told that I was to be this
antisocial, ill-tempered Laborer's new tutor.
I
played it off, though; we of Business are trained to take bad news coolly.
"Sorry, Administrator," I told him, tapping my face guard. "I
don't think I'll have time. I graduate in four months, and I have six more
surgeries."
Chandra
had flinched visibly when I called him Administrator, he hates to be
reminded that I'm upcaste of him. I slip the word in from time to time, when he
needs to be reminded of his manners.
But
now he shook his head. "You don't understand, Kris. This is not a request.
This boy needs a tutor. He needs the best tutor, and you are the top
magick student. You will take him in hand, and you will teach him what he needs
to know to pass the Battle Magick exams. Period?'
"I'm
not interested, Administrator." What does it take to get through to
this lump of meat? "Ask someone else."
He
rose, and came around the corner of his big rosewood desk. He leaned on it and
clasped his hands together. "The independence of the Graduation Board is
sacrosanct I cannot influence them to pass an unqualified student, but I can
certainly prevent any student from ever coming before them, if I choose.
Without my signature, they'll never see you."
He
stared at me as though trying to see the inside of my skull—and there was
something in his eyes, something dark and frightening: an eerily impersonal
hunger that made my stomach knot.
It
looked familiar, somehow; but I couldn't guess where I'd seen it before.
"Do
you understand, now?" he said. "If Michaelson doesn't graduate,
neither do you?'
The
universe tilted beneath me, and I clutched at the arms of my chair to keep from
falling off the Earth and tumbling into interstellar space.
Not graduate?
Never go to Overworld? Far more than a sentence of death—this was the
whisper of the headsman's axe. The room darkened around me; when I could
speak again, my first instinct was to bluster. "You can't do that! If you
even think about washing me out, my father—" "Would thank me, and you
know it."
That
stopped me short; I did know it. "But me? Come on, Ad—Chairman. I
mean—Jesus, I was supposed to graduate last term, but I stuck it out for my
elving—if you wash me out, I'll be stuck with this face for the rest of my
life! It's one thing, if I'm an Actor, but—"
Chandra's
head wobbled on his scrawny neck; he looked very old and weak, but still
capable of a dangerous vindictiveness, like a senile king. "This
Michaelson boy," he said. "His Patron is Marc Vilo."
"The
gangster?" I asked, startled. My father talked about him once in a while,
about how he disgraces our entire caste.
"He
was, erm, here today. He's—he's very interested to see Michaelson go on. Very
interested. He, ah, he—" Chandra looked away, and coughed to cover the
crack in his voice. "—he asked about my family."
"Uh."
I understood now. He'd decided to handle his problem by making it my problem.
Foolish—my father would have laughed at him and made some rude comment about
the whole of the Administration caste, with its penchant for asscovering and
buckpassing.
I
couldn't laugh. I remembered overhearing a couple of my father's Laborers once,
when one of them supported the other as he staggered out from a correction box:
"I guess the best you can hope for is not to be noticed?'
I'd
been noticed; and the simple fact that he was downcaste from me meant nothing
at all. This weak buckpassing bitshuffler held the entire rest of my life in
his palsied hands, and all I could do was grin and take it like a Businessman.
"All
right, Chairman," I said with as much of a front of confidence as I could
muster. "Let me look at his file."
3
I
leaned against the fluted door-column at the arch that separated the weight
room from the main hall of the gym, looking in. I rubbed at the flexible white
face guard that protected my most recent surgery; enough sensation leaked
through the neural blocks that I had a permanent bone-deep itch. Someday, on
Overworld, this surgery would enable me to impersonate one of the First Folk,
the elflike aborigines of the northwest continent. They were the greatest
magicians of Overworld; I might never match them—but I have a couple talents of
my own.
Behind
me, the hall was filled with Sorbathane-armored Combat students thwacking each
other with swords of weighted rattan.
Michaelson
stood out in the crowded weight room. Magick students avoid the weights until
the late afternoon, when the Combat neanderthals would be in class or outside
on the tourney fields. Michaelson was the only guy in the room under a hundred
kilos; even the few women present each had at least ten or eleven kilos on him.
He lay on his back under the bench press bar, face contorted with strain.
One
of the neanderthals elbowed another in the ribs as I threaded my way across
the room. "Lookie." The neanderthal got up and blocked my path,
rippling his hypertrophied pectorals. He topped my height by maybe a third of a
meter. "What's doing, magick girl? Aren't you supposed to be on your knees
somewhere?"
I
grinned behind my mask as I sidestepped him. "Nah, you just wish I was a-
girl. Give you a choice of three holes, 'stead of the two your pal's stuck
with." I moved on past while the frowning Combat student tried to figure
out what kind of an insult that worked out to be.
Michaelson
stared blindly at the ceiling while he labored under the bar, veins standing
out on his forehead. I was kind of curious about him, I admit; reading his
file, I'd discovered that his father was Duncan Michaelson the anthropologist,
the same Duncan Michaelson whose book on Westerling was the Conservatory's
standard text on the language.
Duncan
Michaelson had already been a big part of my life; I'd read his Tales of the
First Folk—an oral history of the northwest primals—dozens of times. Tales
of the First Folk had been what drew me toward the elves in the first
place.
I
couldn't mention that to Hari, though; I'd also read in his file that he never
spoke about his father.
Hari
was almost a decimeter taller than I am, but wouldn't outweigh me by much. Dark
eyes and swarthy skin, black hair, muscles like knotted rope. He grunted as he
powered the bench press bar up through another stroke; his lips twisted into a
snarl fringed by a ragged growth of black beard.
I
glanced at the bench press readout 80 keys. I grunted out loud, impressed in
spite of myself; I knew from his file that Michaelson weighed in around
sixty-five. Then I looked at the repcounter. As Michaelson slowly straightened
his arms, the counter clicked over to 15.
Chandra
had said Michaelson spent a lot of time in the gym; I wondered if even
the Chairman knew just how much.
We'd gone
over a hasty plan to get Michaelson's confidence; based on his psych eval, we'd
decided that honesty wasn't the best policy. A direct of fer of tutoring
would meet with, at best, sullen rejection; the plan involved a gradual
building of a relationship—becoming friends first, maybe occasional advice on
meditative strategies for Michaelson's upcoming Virtual Acting seminar, then a
casual offer to help him with his studies. No pressure.
But
now, as I watched Michaelson pump the repcounter up toward 20, each slowing
stroke pushing four or five explosive, gasping breaths through his clenched
teeth, I flashed on him.
For
that bare, eyeflick instant, I was Hari Michaelson, straining under the bar. I
became a nineteen-year-old Laborer, with a visceral memory of countless upcaste
spurns and the helpless humiliation of knowing that any payback was forever
beyond my reach—with a nuclear kiln of permanent rage lodged behind my
breastbone, fueled by the searing knowledge that I was failing.
This
is one of my talents, the flashing. It's not an ESP thing, more like that
powerful and detailed imagination working overtime, but it serves me well
enough. In that instant, I threw out Chandra's plan. I had a better one.
As
Hari's arms hit their limit, half extended and trembling, his face gone purple
and his eyes barely open, I stepped beside him, put both hands on the bar, and
lifted it with him. It didn't take much strength; I probably could have done it
with a finger, lifting only the kilo or two that was beyond Hari's capacity.
When his arms reached their full extension, Hari snarled, "End:' The bar
froze in place.
I
said, smiling, "Shouldn't press without a spotter, y'know."
Michaelson
sat up slowly. I felt his stare like heat from an open fire. "Nobody asked
your opinion, asswipe," he said evenly. "Or your help."
"If
I'd waited for you to ask, I said through a smile, "I'd have been standing
here till the next Ice Age:'
"Yeah,
funny:' He squinted at my mask. "What're you supposed to be, Boris
Karloff?"
"Boris
who? My name's Kris—"
"Hansen.
Yeah, I know. Everybody in Shitschool knows who you are, we hear about you all
day long. What do you want?"
Shitschool:
the derisive nickname Combat students give to the College of Battle Magick,
from its initials. "A couple minutes of your time," I said with a
shrug. "I want to ask for your help."
Michaelson
turned away, toward the weight machine's control pad. "Piss off."
"Hey,
ladies." One of the Combat neanderthals came up beside us. "You need
some help with this machine? You want a man to show you how it's done?"
Michaelson
didn't even turn his head. "Take a fucking hike, Ballinger."
"Uh-huh,
right. Excuse me, ma'am?' He casually elbowed Michaelson off the bench and lay
down under the bar. Michaelson got up slowly and stood with his back to the
machine, very still, except for a muscle that jumped at the corner of his jaw.
The
neanderthal—Ballinger--gripped the bar and said, "Weight up.
Two-zero-zero. Begin." When the readout had scaled up to 200 kilograms he
started pumping the bar smoothly up and down, and said, "See? That's your
problem, not enough weight."
"Come
on, Hari, let's get out of here," I said. "I really want to talk with
you."
"You
got nothing to say that I need to hear."
I
took a deep breath, held it, then took the plunge. "Typical Labor
attitude," I sneered. For an instant I felt like my father.
Michaelson
turned like he was mounted on a millstone. "What?"
"You
downcasters are all alike. `Fuck off, Jack. It's not my job." It's born
into you. That's why you Labor scum never get out of the ghetto?'
Michaelson
took one deliberate step toward me. His eyes burned. "You are just begging
me to kick your fucking ass."
"Yes,
in fact, I am," I told him. "That's exactly right."'
He
blinked. "Come again?"
"Which
part don't you understand?"
He
stared at me while his mouth stretched into a slow predatory grin: all teeth
and no humor. "I'm into it."'
"Fine,
then. Let's get a hand-to-hand room."
"Yeah,
sure. One thing first, though?'
He turned
back to the weight machine, where Ballinger's heavy arms, trembling now, forced
the bar up through the fourteenth rep. When they reached full extension,
Michaelson leaned over him and rapped the insides of both elbows with the edges
of his hands. Ballinger's arms gave way, and the bar slammed down into his
chest. Eyes bulging, Ballinger tried to gasp "End! End!" but
he hadn't enough breath for the machine to register his voice.
Michaelson
patted his cheek and said, "Shouldn't press without a spotter,
y'know." He grinned at me. "After you, ma'am."
I
grinned back. "Why, thank you, miss?'
The
line was good, but I felt a chill. I began to comprehend how dangerous Hari
Michaelson might be, and I knew I'd better be bloody damn careful.
4
The
hand-to-hand rooms are a level higher and directly over the gym. They vary in
size and conformation, but they all have floors and walls of three-centimeter
Sorbathane to minimize impact injuries. On one wall the Sorbathane's
transparent and laid over a mirror, so you can watch yourself shadowbox or
whatever.
Michaelson
and I met in one. I was already in the required half-armor: a centimeter of
Sorbathane protecting elbows, knees, vitals, head, and neck. Michaelson wore
that sweaty cotton shirt and baggy black pants, and nothing else.
"You're
not wearing armor," I said.
He
sneered at me. "Brilliant, Businessboy. What was your first clue?"
To
hold on to my temper, I conjured a vivid image of the night sky of Overworld, a
dragon silhouetted against the full moon. If I didn't make this work, that
mental image was the closest I'd ever get to seeing it.
I
said, "Hey, c'mon, armor's required—" but before I could finish the
thought he hit me from twelve directions at once.
It
was like being caught in a threshing machine—he slammed his knees into my
unprotected thighs, his fists and elbows against my ribs, and his forehead into
the pit of my stomach and before I really knew what was happening he had my
face guard mashed into the floor and my arms and legs pinned somehow and my
whole body hurt.
"Tell
me again about Labor scum, will you?" His voice in my ear sounded flat and
metallic, and I suddenly, stunningly, arrived at the realization that I
could die here.
If he
wanted to, he could kill me. Easily.
And
get away with it: an unfortunate training accident, and he goes right on with
his life, while mine is snuffed in an instant.
And
he sounded like he wanted to.
It's
a funny feeling: your bowels turn to water and all the strength goes out of
your arms and legs, tears well up in your eyes—it's a baby thing, I guess, a
reflex to appear weak and helpless in hopes that you can trigger an answering
parental reflex. But somehow I didn't think Michaelson had that particular
reflex.
I
sneered into the floor. "Aaah, lucky punch."
An
instant of stunned silence; then he had to let me up because he was laughing
too hard to hold me. I managed a little chuckle, too, as I rolled over, sat up,
and tried to make sure all my joints still worked.
"Jesus.
I didn't think anyone could do that; not so easily, anyway. You know I'm near
the top of my class in hand-to-hand?"
Michaelson
gave a derisive snort. "Yeah. You're near the top of your class in
everything. Doesn't mean you know shit about it."
"I
know, Hari. That's why I came looking for you."
He
sat up and laced his fingers around his knees. "I'm listening," he
said, but in his eyes swam naked suspicion, the permanent shifty what do you
want from me? of the downcaster.
"I
hear you're barely passing hand-to-hand," I said. "And I hear that
the only reason you're not failing is that you—like you Labor guys say—can whip
shit on every student in the class. I go to Overworld in four months, and I
think there's some things you can teach me that I'm not going to learn from
Tallman."
"Tallman's
a moron," Michaelson said. "He's more interested in making you do it his
way than in teaching you something that'll keep you alive."
"That's
the part I want to learn. That part about staying alive." "What's in
it for me?"
I
shrugged. "The chance to beat the snot out of a Business brat every day
for four months."
He
measured me with his eyes, coldly, for a long time. I fought the urge to
fidget. Finally he uncoiled himself, rising with a smooth motion into a natural
stance. "Get up"
"Aren't
you going to get armor?"
"You
think I need it?"
. I
sighed. "Never mind." I got up and matched his stance. I knew he
wasn't going to give me the Ready . . . Fight! of classroom sparring, so
I was ready when his gaze flickered down to my groin. I dropped my hands to
crossblock the kick and he cracked a left hook into my ear that made my head
ring.
"Lesson
one. That's an eye-fake, Hansen. Every time I see you looking at my
eyes, you're gonna get a whack."
I
shook the ringing out of my ears and got my hands back up. Michaelson tapped
himself on the sternum.
"Look
here. Always look here. You can see my whole body—the eyes lie, Hansen, but the
chest is always honest. And you don't block a groinkick with your hands, you
take it on the thigh. Every time you drop your hands, you're gonna get a whack.
You understand?"
"Yes,
I'm starting to—"
He
whacked me with a right uppercut below the heart that left me gasping.
"Lesson
two. Best time to hit someone is when he's off guard. Best time to catch
someone off guard is when he's talking. When you talk, you're thinking about
what to say next, not—''
I hit
him, a good stiff jab right in the teeth. My knuckles stung like a bastard. He
took a couple steps back and touched his lips; his hand came away painted
crimson, and he grinned at me.
"Y'know,"
he said, "there's just the faintest chance I could start to like you.
This
is going to work, I thought. I'm
on my way to Overworld.
5
A
week later, I was sitting in Chandra's office, so much of my body mottled with
green and yellow and purple healing bruises that I looked like somebody'd
spiked my shower with a carton of expired skin dye.
"I
want permission to use the VA suite?'
The
Chairman looked at me like I was some new species of cockroach. "Vilo
screened this morning. He would like to know what progress Michaelson is
making. I lied to him. I said everything is going well?'
"Ten
days from now," I said patiently, "Hari starts Virtual Acting 102.
You want him to pass, don't you? I'd think you'd be a little cooperative,
here?'
"The
clock is running on you, Hansen. I do not think that allowing your student to
beat you senseless every day is teaching him very much."
"Allowing?
Administrator, you've never seen him fight."
"His
College is Battle Magick, as is yours. Have you even begun work on his
visualization deficiencies? Have you begun work on his trancing? You are
accomplishing nothing?'
"Administrator,
I've been meeting with him for at least an hour or two every day—"
"And
doing nothing of value to either of you. Did you think I was not serious, when
I told you what was at stake?"
My
temper flared. "Then find somebody else! I didn't ask for this job, you
forced me into it! I'm doing the bloody best I can!" My face
burned. A true Businessman never loses his temper in front of a downcaster. My
father would never have done it. Maybe after spending so much time with Hari,
his attitudes had begun to color mine.
"No,
no?' Chandra shook his head. "You're the top student in Battle Magick. If
I have less than the best, Vilo will think I want Michaelson to fail?"
He
squinted at me, and I flashed on him.
I'm
Administrator Wilson Chandra; I've spent my entire sixty-odd years of life in
service, the last fifteen as Chairman of the Studio Conservatory—a position of
great responsibility but very little power. I've had to kiss the crack of every
Leisureman, Investor, and Businessman to ever walk through the front doors;
I've had to coddle their whining protégés, handjob the Studio's Board of
Governors, soothe the swollen egos of the emotionally crippled ex-Actors who make
up the faculty, and somehow in the midst of all this turn out Actors who will
not only survive on Overworld but provide the Studio with the income that
justifies my existence.
I've
done a damned good job of it for a decade and a half, and what do I get? A
murderous little gangster telling me who I can and can't graduate, telling me how
to do my job, and a snotty Business brat whining about having to do
something his pampered little butt wasn't in the mood for.
I
leaned back in my chair, blinking behind the face guard. I under-stood now. He did
want Hari to fail: because it would sting Vilo. He wanted to fail me, because
I was born into Business. It would be a double slap at upcasters, one he
thought he could get away with. Petty and vindictive, it was exactly the kind
of underhanded knife his caste had always pointed at those above it. Whatever
threat Vilo might have made against his family, he didn't take too seriously,
and Hari was only a pawn, a counter in his game.
I,
too, was no more than a pawn. His malice wasn't personal at all. I remembered
that glimpse I'd gotten of eerie, impersonal hunger behind his eyes: he didn't
care about me one way or the other. I just had the bad luck to be conveniently
placed for his little psychodrama of undercaste revenge.
Outside
the Conservatory, things would be different. On the outside, I was Business,
and he only Administration. If he so much as sniffed at me I could denounce him
to the Social Police for caste violation—but none of that mattered, here. He
had his grip upon me, and I could do nothing to loosen his fingers.
I
started to understand from where Hari got his rage.
For a
moment, I felt Hari behind me, at my shoulder, whispering in my ear the precise
angle for the edge of my hand to slice at his throat and shatter his larynx; I
shook my head to drive it away, and took a deep breath.
"I
want permission to use the VA units," I said again.
"This,
I think is too much. Unsupervised use of the VA suite is dangerous, and
Instructor Hammet—"
"Y'know,"
I said casually, fighting down a queasy twinge in the pit of my stomach,
"my father contracts with Vilo Intercontinental." This kind
of sleazy Business-club innuendo left a bad taste in my mouth, but I
desperately needed some leverage—and Hari's fetch still lurked at my shoulder,
whispering violence.
Chandra
looked blank, but he knew what I meant.
"You
can authorize it. I'll take full responsibility," I said more insistently,
because I understood the rules of this game. Chandra had to look like he was
doing everything in his power to help me help Hari, so that he can shake his
head and purse his lips in virtuous regret when he washes us out.
Reluctantly,
he nodded. "All right." He drew a card out of a slot on his desk and
swiveled his deskscreen toward me. "This is my duplicate access card.
Thumbprint the screen here, and also thumbprint the liability release at the
bottom of the screen. Any injury to either one of you is wholly your
responsibility."
I
nodded. "You won't regret this."
He didn't
answer. He looked profoundly skeptical.
6
Hari
faced me over the angled tip of his bokken—a wooden practice sword
weighted to three-fourths the mass of an Overworld broadsword. He wore the
required minimum armor now, as did I; bokken are real weapons, and can
kill.
Without
warning he lunged at me, forcing down my blade with his; when we came into the
corps-a-corps an elbow I didn't even see coming slammed into my face guard and
lifted me off my feet. I went down sprawling and my bokken spun away. He
stood over me, wooden sword against my chest.
"You
lose?'
I
slapped the blade away and climbed angrily to my feet. "Goddammit, Hari!
You're not supposed to hit me in the face! You could rip my sutures, and you
know it. And we're supposed to be working on swords?'
He
shrugged and tossed his bokken aside. "Supposed, supposed. You're
supposed to be a pretty good swordsman, for a Shitschooler. Then why do you
always lose?"
"Because
you always cheat?'
To a
Businessman, those are fighting words. Hari only shook his head. "Listen,
there's no such thing as cheating when you're fighting for your life. A very
bright guy once said, `Winning's not the most important thing. It's the only
thing." "
He
came up to me, an oddly gentle expression on his face. "Kris,
you're pretty good, y'know? You're fast and you learn quick and
everything. You're better with a sword than I am. If I play by the rules you're
gonna beat me. But on Overworld, you play by the rules, you're gonna get
killed."
I
thought, Don't talk down to me, you low-rent Labor prick, but I said,
"Yeah, all right."' I went after my bokken, picked it up.
"Let's go again."
"You
never quit, do you?" He looked kind of disgusted, and kind of
uncomfortable. "I'll hand it to you, you sure can take a beating. But I
don't think this is doing you much good. And I think I'm going to need my free
period to work on trancing for a while."'
That
was almost good news—he'd finally recognized that he'd have to put in extra
magickal practice if he wanted to graduate. But practice alone doesn't make
perfect you only get perfect through perfect practice. And I knew exactly what
he needed. The only way either of us'd ever get to Overworld was if I could
convince him to let me help him.
"You're
quitting? Just when I'm starting to catch up?"
"Kris,
man, I'm sorry. You don't have it, you know?" He started stripping off his
armor, every zzzip of parting Velcro driving a needle into my chest.
"What
do you mean, I don't have it? Who made you the expert? I took the same
classes you did—I may not be as good at it, but I know as much about it
as you do."
His
penetrating black eyes took on an empty gaze, like he looked through my head to
the wall at my back, and his mouth twisted into the kind of half smile you get
when you suck on a sore tooth. "You'll never know as much about it. You're
too old. And you don't love it."
"Don't
give me that crap, Hari. I know—"
"You
don't know shit."
I
thought about what I'd read in his file, about his father's insanity and
downcaste slide from Professional—a professor of social anthropology—to a Temp
in San Francisco's Labor slums, and about the physical abuse he'd almost
certainly suffered at his father's hands, and for a moment I thought I knew
him. "Hey, so you had a rough childhood—"
He
laughed in my face, an ugly grunting sound that had no humor in it. "I had
a great childhood. Where do you think I learned how to fight? By the time I was
eight, I knew: Every fight is a fight to the death. That's what makes it fun.
You still don't get it, and you probably won't. You won't live long enough.
And I'm sorry about that, because I kind of started to like you."
"All
right, fine." I felt the singing surge of my temper as I stripped off my
armor. "You've a fine taste for melodrama, Hari. It's a pity you're so
full of shit."
"Eh?''
"This
I'm-so-worldly-wise-and-you're-just-a-babe-in-the-woods act. Give me a break.
I've seen it done better; my father has it down to a science."'
"Yeah,
whatever." He gathered up the pieces of his armor and bundled them
together. "Been all right working out with you, Hansen, but now I gotta
go."
"Why
don't you try coming over to play in my yard?" I put a sneering
edge of contempt in my voice that stopped him in his tracks. Maybe I didn't
understand him completely, but I knew there was no way he'd take that tone from
some upcaste boy of questionable masculinity. He looked at me over his
shoulder.
"Your
yard?"
My
heart pounded, and I fought to keep the tremors out of my voice. "Yeah,
tough guy." I flipped Chandra's access card between my fingers like a
stage magician. "You're so damn tough in your specialty, come try mine."
"What's
that you've got there?"
"It's
an access card that'll get me into the Virtual Acting suite after hours."
A
flame of interest kindled within his eyes. "Y'know, I start Virtual Acting
a week from Friday ..."
I
shrugged. "Here's the difference between us. This Conservatory is loaded
with Combat students who can stomp you without raising a sweat—"
"You
think so?"
I
ignored him and went on. "—but there is no one, no one, who can
beat me in a VA suit. I'm the best there is. Check the records, if you want:
I'm the best there has ever been. You dish it easily enough, Michaelson. Can
you take it?"
Hari,
I hoped, was that one kid in every neighborhood who'll take any dare, no matter
how dangerous, the one who never runs from a fight, especially when the odds
are against him. And I really thought that with my coaching, he might pace
through Virtual Acting with high enough marks to push him over the top for
graduation. I gave him a grin that lied: it said I didn't really care one way
or the other. It was a grin that dared him to take me up on it, and it was a
grin that dared him to back down. It was a grin that kept him from noticing I
was holding my breath.
My
future teetered on his answer.
He
squinted at me like he could read my mind. Then he said, "After hours,
huh? Like when would that be?"
"Say,
2200?"
"I'll
be there?'
He
walked out of the hand-to-hand room without a backward glance, so he didn't see
me fall to my knees and thank the gods for my deliverance.
7
I
rubbed my stinging eyes as I threaded through the departing Combat students
toward the VA suite. I'd been pushing a ragged edge of exhaustion; in addition
to healing from my surgeries, recovering from the workouts I'd had with Hari,
and constant worry over my future, I had course work of my own to complete. My
extra term consisted of studies in the history and culture of the First Folk,
not to mention their hideously elliptical, metaphoric, and inflected language.
To make it worse, they had no written histories, since all First Folk have
flawless eidetic memories and no Actor had successfully infiltrated their
society; all I had to study from was second- and thirdhand accounts full of
cultural references that I didn't understand and couldn't look up. Like the
Actors who had gone before me, I'd be playing an elf who has—for one reason or
another—chosen to move through the human world, but still it frustrated me
until my head spun.
So I
was in no mood for neanderthal crap. The departing Combat students laughed and
joked among themselves as they lumbered along the hall like elephants, but less
gracefully; I did my best to dodge between the swinging elbows of these
two-meter behemoths.
They
were all heading for their dorms,
or for the venerable rathskeller—except for one, an enormous one with shoulders
like wrecking balls. His back was to me, and he seemed to be shaking his fist
at someone I couldn't see around his titanic chest. A sinking feeling in the
pit of my stomach told me it was probably Hari.
The
enmity between the Conservatory's Combat and Magick students is, I think, part
of a long historical tradition, stretching all the way back to at least the
nineteenth century's rivalry between student athletes and student scholars.
They see us as effeminate bookworms, and we regard them as meatheaded apes who
think with their pectorals. The situation here is a bit different, though. Most
of what we study here prepares us, in one way or another, to kill people.
This
colors your thinking—to put it mildly—and raises the stakes in any
confrontation far beyond a little humiliation. From time to time, people get
hurt—usually, the Magick students. We trainee adepts are mostly helpless
without the differing laws of physics on the far side of the Winston Transfer.
The Combat students train here in skills that work exactly the same on Earth as
on Overworld.
And
they're all huge.
So my
heart stuttered a little as I approached. The crowd had thinned to emptiness,
and the last of their voices faded down the hallway. Now I could hear what the
neanderthal said.
It
was that guy from the weight room, Ballinger. He hulked over Hari and jabbed at
him with a finger the size of a sausage. "We'll see how funny you are, you
little bastard. One of these days, when I catch you on the grounds. We'll
see."
A
strange, manic light shone in Hari's eyes that looked nothing like fear.
"Fuck off, Ballinger. I'm busy. I'll kill you later."
Ballinger's
ham-sized fist tangled itself in Hari's shirt and pinned him to the wall.
"You want to say that again?"
I've
seen this kind of confrontation before; a Magick student gets tired of the
constant harassment and finally decides to fight back. This is the one where he
gets hurt. Other times, I've hung back, to help the poor guy to the infirmary.
Or if I saw the chance, sometimes I'd step between and try to defuse the
situation. But this time
I
caught Hari's eye and tipped him a wink ... then I got down on my hands and
knees right behind Ballinger's ankles.
I
don't know. Maybe it was from spending a week with Hari, fighting with him,
breathing his air. Maybe he had infected me, somehow; maybe I was coming down
with a bad case of Michaelson.
Hari
got the biggest, most honestly happy grin I'd ever seen on his face.
"What's the best season for a vacation, Ballinger?"
"Huh?"
"Fall,
I think. Have a nice trip."
He
rapped the inside of Ballinger's elbow to bend his arm, then pushed off from
the wall. Ballinger went down over my back with the slow majesty of a toppling
redwood. He hit whack-on his upper spine with a thunderous crash that shook the
floor, and he lay there, stunned. Before I could get up, Hari skipped around me
and kicked him with shocking force in the side of his head; Ballinger groaned
and tried to cover, rolling weakly into a fetal position.
I got
to Hari and shoved him off balance as he chambered for a kick at the back of
Ballinger's neck. "Stop it, Hari! You'll kill him!"
He
batted me aside. "Fucking right I will—"
Professional
Hammet—the Virtual Acting instructor—came limping out the door on his
mechanized legs just then and saved Ballinger's life. All he did was put
himself in Hari's way until Hari got control of himself again; not even Hari
would risk the consequences of striking an instructor.
Hammet was a retired Actor, an ex-swordsman
who was far too bitter and generally crusty to tolerate any bullshit from
anybody, especially not Ballinger when he tried to whine about Hari beating him
up. Any Combat student who couldn't handle a couple Magick pussies wasn't worth
his time. He wasn't interested in writing us up for fighting—too much goddamn
trouble, filling out reports–but he also wasn't about to allow any crap to go
on in the vicinity of his VA suite. He sent Ballinger one way and us the other.
Ballinger stumbled off, muttering under his breath and giving us murderous
looks over his shoulder. I, on the other hand, flashed Chandra's access card.
Hammet
didn't like the idea of letting anyone into the VA suite unsupervised, but he
couldn't argue with Chandra. A quick screencall to the Chairman confirmed that
I hadn't stolen the card, and Hammet reluctantly let us in. We slipped inside,
and I closed the door behind us.
"Jesus,
Hari' I said, leaning against the door. "That was too close. That was too
scary. You could have killed him! Hari, your temper—that was
frightening, seeing you that angry?'
Hari
sighed; his shoulders slumped and he sank into a cross-legged tailor's seat on
the floor. "What makes you think I was angry?" "Well,
Jesus—"
"You
should have let me kill him. It was my best chance. Next time I won't be able
to catch him alone."
I
stared, openmouthed.
He
shrugged at me. "This thing between Ballinger and me, it's been building
for a while."
"You
provoked it," I said breathlessly. "You wanted that
fight"
"Kris,
it's him or me. If it'd been me on that floor, we wouldn't be having this
little talk. Or any talk?'
"Drop
the melodrama, Hari. So you've bumped chests with the guy once or twice, so
what?"
He
made a chopping motion with his hand. "You're Business, Kris. This is a Labor
thing." He curled his fingers into a fist and stared at his knuckles like
they were an unpaid invoice he couldn't cover. "Ballinger, he's from
Philly's inner city. Him and me, we understand each other."
"I
don't accept that. I can't accept that." But even as I said it, I found
myself staring at his knuckles, too, which were mostly just knots of scar
tissue like wads of old chewing gum.
"You
don't have to. You're from a whole different world, Kris. That's why, once we
get out of this toilet, I'm gonna be a famous Actor, and you're gonna be an
elf-looking corpse."
He
pushed himself to his feet. "I thought you were going to show me how you
can whip shit on me in a VA suit."'
8
I
spent a few minutes in the claustrophobic cubicle with Hari, helping him calibrate
the inducers. The feedback suit is simple enough; it's mostly mechanical—it
squeezes and pokes and shakes you or whatever. But the induction helmet takes
some getting used to.
This
is based on the same technology that allows first-handers in the Studio
Adventure Rooms to share an Actor's sense/experience in real time. Calibration
is really a pretty simple process, a matter of tuning the helmet to make a
black dot coalesce on a white field, then stretch to a line, and spread into a
well-focused version of the Studio logo; an analogous process takes white noise
down to a pure tone, et cetera. It's easier in the VA suite than in the Studio,
in fact the inducers here don't have to deal with scent, and the touch/pain
data and kinesthesia is all handled by the feedback suit.
This
kind of calibration is easy once you've done it a few times; it's practically
second nature for anyone of a reasonable level of birth, but Hari was a
Laborer, and so of course he'd never been inside a Studio and had never in his
life adjusted an induction helmet. It made him edgy and snappish; he ended by
slapping blindly at my hands—the induction helmets have eye shields to prevent
actual vision from interfering with the neural stimulation—and telling me to
get the fuck off him.
After
I left his cubicle I went to the instructor's station, three broad curving
banks of keys stacked like a steam organ. Four screens loomed over my head,
where the VA computer would display multiple points of view for the benefit of
the rows of empty seats in the Aud behind me.
I
sank onto the bench, lowered my head onto arms folded across the lowest bank of
keys, and gave myself over entirely to shaking.
I
read once, somewhere, that the way you know you've grown up is when your future
death becomes a stone in your shoe: when you feel it with every step. I kept
seeing the corridor ceiling, as though I had lain where Ballinger did; I
couldn't stop thinking about how easily, almost carelessly, Hari could have
taken his life. I saw myself on Overworld, walking along a city street: in the
vision a man stepped out of an alley and drove a knife into my throat without a
word—no demand for money, no snarl of threat, no chance to prepare myself.
No
chance.
I've
heard that your heels kick, that you convulse and shit on yourself when you die
by violence. I felt it, again and again, feeling my own heels kick
helplessly, far deeper than imagination, feeling it with the astonishing
vividness of my flashes.
When
I first started working with Hari, I'd felt like a lion tamer working with new
cats. If I showed no fear, did nothing to trigger those predatory reflexes, I'd
be safe. I'd felt even moderately heroic, kind of proud of myself, because I
thought that by sheer force of character I could shove my life into shape. I could
help Hari, I could beat Chandra, and I would sally forth into my vague and
misty though certainly glorious Acting career.
But I
sat there shaking because there is no safety.
Someday,
you say the wrong thing to some random Hari Michaelson and an instant later
you're on the floor choking out the last of your breath.
And
it wasn't Hari that frightened me, even now; it was the world he lived in, the
way I'd begun to see my life through his eyes. It was his intimate
understanding of the fragility of my life, of his life, of anyone's and that he
just didn't care.
And
he wasn't unique; he wasn't even rare. Our Labor undercastes spawn endless Hari
Michaelsons. Now, I began to understand what Hari meant when he said I
"don't have it."
But
did it matter? Without Overworld, did I want to live?
I
keyed the default setting, then entered my own cubicle and quickly dressed. I
needed no calibration; the computer recognized my neural field as soon as I
keyed my helmet, and it automatically loaded my file.
The
Meadow took shape around me, gently rolling grassy waves that stretched to the
horizon in all directions. The sky above was cloudless and startlingly blue,
and the sun hung motionless. This is the most basic level, often used for
"duels" and magickal practice of all sorts. I had spent a lot of
hours in this meadow. The soft ground is forgiving to knees bent in meditation,
and no cloud ever passes before the sun.
The
generic-featured manikin that represented Hari stood about four meters away. He
stepped toward me, then stopped and looked around; suddenly he knelt and ran
his fingers through the grass. "Wow."
"Yes,
I know. Impressive, huh?"
"Wild.
Hard-core wild." His planar features showed no expression, but I could
hear the grin in his voice. "You look kind of faggy."
I shrugged
with a sigh. I'd programmed my file to bring up features that looked more or
less the way I would after my surgeries were completed: thick, close-cropped
hair of platinum, elegantly delicate bone structure around large golden eyes,
extravagantly pointed ears like a lynx. Maybe I'd overdone it a little.
He
came closer. "You know, I've never seen you without that white mask on. Is
this what you look like?"
"I
might, eventually," I told him. "I'm not sure. I won't find out for
another ten weeks."
He nodded.
Suddenly I wished I could see his expression. "All right," he said.
"What now?"
I
took a deep breath. I'd been working for a solid week to bring him to this
point; now that we were here, I had butterflies, a twinge of ... I don't know.
Stage fright, maybe.
Maybe
I was afraid he could beat me at this, too.
"No
spells for this one," I said. "I'm going to take it easy on
you. I should be able to whip you just fine using only Flow. Bring yourself to
mindview. The computer will sense the pattern in your neural field and start to
show you simulated Flow currents. You should also see my Shell."'
His
manikin closed its eyes, and its thumbs and first two fingers of each hand came
together. I, of course, no longer needed the Three Finger technique to shift to
mindview—breath control and a simple act of will tuned my consciousness to the
proper level. It worried me that Hari, ten days from his VA seminar, still
needed physical cues.
The
worry vanished in mindview; while working magick, it's impossible to worry. The
function of the advanced meditative techniques taught at the Conservatory is to
focus the whole mind, even beyond the surface of consciousness, fully and
without distraction upon the desired magickal effect. After two years of
practice I could tune my mind like a surgical laser.
I've
heard it said that every mage sees the Flow in terms of his or her own personal
metaphor: as streams of light or a ghostly river, as long glowing strings
coiling and uncoiling as they twist through the air, as floating globes of
energy like ball lightning; I won't find out what mine will look like until I
get to Overworld. The VA suite simulates Flow as shimmering lattices of force,
over which scroll pulses of greater brightness or differing colors in the
direction of the current.
His
Shell looked pretty standard: an auralike netting of lines. It pulsed subtly in
time with his heart and flickered like heat lightning around his hands and
feet. I watched the Flow, waiting for him to start pulling.
His
eyes opened, and he murmured reverentially, "I see it."
I let
out a slow, whistling breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "All
right. I know this is new to you. I'll give you ten seconds to pull enough
current to defend yourself."'
He
stretched out his hand, upward toward the thickest part of the current, and his
Shell extended a slow-moving pseudopod that touched the shimmering net and
opened itself to power. The Flow swirled toward him, its stream deepening as it
whirlpooled energy into Hari's Shell. His gesture indicated a future problem:
an adept who needs his hands to pull is easily disabled—but this could be
ignored today.
I
counted a slow ten to myself, then another five, while I watched Hari's
Shell spin up into ever-higher levels, brighter and brighter and scaling up the
spectrum toward violet. He'd feed energy into his Shell until he could hold no
more, then lash out at me with undifferentiated power. This is the crudest and
least dangerous form of magickal combat, rather like fencing with foam-rubber
paddles, but it's a pretty good place to start.
I
didn't trouble to pull; he couldn't hurt me.
I
said, "Begin whenever you're—"
He
fired on me, as I'd known he would. More than ready for his clumsy stream of
power, my Shell not only deflected it but spun it swirling around my chest to
slingshot back at him. What had approached me as a ragged head-sized stream
returned as a focused javelin that punched through his Shell into the pit of
his stomach and doubled him over.
"You'll
have to do better than that." I hadn't even moved.
He
tried again, and again, with similar results, but with each attempt he closed
the gap between our virtual selves by a step or two. From this perspective, in
the detached calm of mindview, his intentions were transparent. He intended to
step outside the rules once again: these clumsy Flow bolts were only cover, to
get him close enough to rush me.
I
opened my Shell and pulled.
Hari
had tapped into a Flow current, diverted some of it for his use; I created Flow
currents—those shining lattices of force swirled into my Shell like the funnel
of a tornado reaching down from a thunderhead. From where I stood to the
visible horizon, all Flow drained toward me. My skin sang with power.
When
Hari leaped at me, I let him have it.
Flow
doesn't interact directly with the material world until it is patterned by the
mind of a spellcaster; in its basic state, it only affects the Shell, altering
the matrices of energy that surround material objects, especially living ones. About
the worst you can do with raw Flow is give somebody a bad charley horse. I gave
Hari seven of them.
His
arms and legs, his chest and belly and back all cramped convulsively in
midleap. He gave out a strangled croak and collapsed at my feet.
I
stepped a prudent distance away from him before I let him up.
"That
was too easy," I told him. "I'm a better fighter than you are a
spellcaster. First off, if you ever want to be good at this, you'll have to
improve your reach. Right now, your Shell stops at your hands and feet. But
your Shell can have any size and shape that you wish, if you properly visualize
it. Start by reaching for Flow without using your hands."
Hari's
manikin still sat in the soft virtual grass, arms wrapping knees. He looked up
at me, and I wished I could read an expression on those blank features.
"This's been fun, Kris. I've been a good sport, and I let you whip me
Now I gotta go." He stood up and his hands went to his head, feeling for
the cutoff.
"Let
me?" I sneered. "Like you
could have stopped me."'
He
sounded tired. "Yeah, you're right. I'm not good at this. But I will
be."' "I'd say so. Shit, Hari, with my help, you could be
great."
He
stopped. His head swiveled toward me, and he neither moved nor spoke for a long
time. I began to sweat inside the VA suit, wondering what was going on inside
his head.
Finally,
he spoke. "You think I'm a fucking idiot, don't you?" My mouth
worked, speechless. I forced out, "Hari, I—"
"You
think that because you're Business, and I'm Labor, you can think rings around
me, you can manipulate me and push me around and I'll never even know it?'
Suddenly
I became acutely glad that Hari's real, physical body was two doors away in the
VA suite. "That's not true—"
"Drop
it. I've bought too much of your shit already." His manikin stepped up to
mine. "I don't much mind you thinking you're smarter than me. It might
even be true?'
It's
unquestionably true, I thought.
"What
bothers me," he went on, "is that you think you're smarter than me because
you're upcaste. Like, if I had any brains at all, I would have known enough
to be born into a better family."
"It's
all about caste to you, isn't it?" I said, turning to the attack. You
couldn't deal with Hari by going defensive; it brought out his killer instinct
like a guard dog that smells fear. "That's your answer to everything?'
"I
don't need answers," he said, rising and turning as if to leave. "I
don't need to know why you've been all over me this past week or two; I don't
care if it's some upcaste liberal befriend-the-Labor-punk project, or an anthro
experiment, or you've developed a taste for my butthole. It doesn't matter.
You're trying to con me, and I'm tired of it. Shit, mostly I'm tired of you
thinking you're getting away with it."
"Y'know,"
I said slowly, "your street-butch act goes only so far."
"Hah?"
"Why
are you still here? No matter how good your exit line is, it only works if you
actually exit."
"Yeah,"
he said, reaching up for the cutoff switch on his sleeve, but I was ready for
him: the instant I finished speaking I drew the slow, controlled breath and
summoned mindview, and I gave him a cramp in that arm that would stun a horse.
He
grunted.
"I'm
not ready for you to go, yet," I said.
He
dropped his hand and fixed his manikin's blank stare on me, and I could imagine
all too well the homicidal gleam that would be in his black eyes right now.
"Don't jump in this shitpool, Hansen. You don't swim well enough?'
"Cut
it out, will you? I'm not Ballinger—you don't have to intimidate me to prove
you're a man."
"Don't
pretend you understand."
"I'll
tell you what I understand. I understand that you are going to fail. Do you
understand that? You're going to fail. You will never see Overworld. You
will never be an Actor. You will be some meaningless shit-shoveling Laborer for
the rest of your life. You will always have to suckass the upcasters—and everybody
is upcaste of you, Hari?'
He
shrugged and looked away; he knew, or at least suspected, that I was telling
the truth, and he couldn't face it. "Why do you care? What's it to you if
I live or die?"
"Nothing.
I don't give a rat's ass what happens to you," I said. "What I care
about is getting there myself. You get it? Yeah, you're a project. Chandra
assigned me here. I've got the word of Chandra himself that if you don't
graduate, I'll never even get to take the examinations!"
"Then
I guess you got a problem; he said, and flicked his cutoff switch before I
could react.
His
manikin vanished; I was left alone in the virtual world, staring at the vacancy
where my hope had been.
9
I
don't remember much of that night.
Lurking
somewhere in the back of my brain are vague recollections of coming back to
myself again and again out of daydreams of Overworld, sitting at my desk in my
dorm room or wandering vaguely on the darkened campus lawns, through tangled
native scrub the color of corpse flesh in the moonlight.
I
couldn't get a handle on what had happened, not really; whenever I wasn't
actively reminding myself that my life was over, I stopped believing it. I
couldn't make myself understand that I'd really blown it this time, that some
fundamental incapacity in my nature had thrown a wall into my path and I'd
dashed out my brains against it.
It
was as though I'd spent so many dreaming hours on visions of Overworld that my
mind automatically turned to them, despite the cold fact that I'd never see
those skies, never breathe that air, never come closer to the surge of
true magick through my nerves than the pale tingle of a VA suit's tawdry replication.
And
every time I did remember, each time I forced that knowledge back through the
muddy strata of my rebellious mind, I had to wade through each level of muck
again, one at a time: cursing Chandra, cursing Hari, cursing my father, the
Conservatory, the Studio itself, until I finally slogged through to the truth.
It
was my fault.
It's
crushing, when you've made it through twenty years or so of your life, when you
first find yourself against a wall you can't climb. Gifted in caste as well as
genetics, I had wealth and status and looks and brains and athleticism, and I
could always find a way to get what I wanted: grades, girls, friends, whatever.
Until I found the one thing I couldn't live without.
It
was a hell of a time for my first failure.
I'd
made a fatal error with Hari, and the worst of it was, I still couldn't figure
out what I should have done to make things work out any better. I mean, sure,
thousands of plans and ideas poured into my mind that night, limitless and
swirling, funneled from the stars by a quiet maelstrom of the chill Aegean air,
all equally futile—I should have done this, I could have tried that, why
didn't I think of this—until finally it was morning and I hadn't slept at all.
I stopped by my room just long enough to dry-swallow a couple of caffeine
pills, then I stumbled off to class, to spend the next few hours, the next few
days, pretending that my life wasn't over.
At
least I didn't have any trouble staying awake. I couldn't have slept if you hit
me with a rock.
Sometime
during that hopeless blur of days, Chandra called me into his office again. I
don't remember what he said or what I replied; I think, at that point, all I
could do was bluff. With my father's voice whispering advice and scorn
alternately in my ear, I sneered at my executioner. Show no weakness to the
undercastes, I thought. Fuck him. If he had any brains at all, he'd have
known enough to be born into a better family. That phrase kept ringing
inside my head, again and again.
On
top of everything else, I had to live with the knowledge that Hari despised me.
In
some strange and inexplicable way, that hurt nearly as much as the rest
put together. His harsh judgment gnawed at me like a hungry dog worrying a
bone. Maybe it was because I was accustomed to the affection of my peers and
the respect of those below me; maybe I was appalled that a Labor thug would
presume to judge me at all.
Maybe
it was because I felt like he was more real than I was.
Something
about his Labor life, his street life, gave him what looked to me like a mystic
connection to some level of existence at which I could only peer from the
outside, through streaked and darkened glass. He was right: I'd never
understand, not really. I wasn't sure I wanted to.
I was
sure that I wanted his respect more than I'd ever wanted anything, short
of a Transfer ticket to Overworld.
A few
days passed in this fog of mingled self-pity and self loathing. I checked my
messages obsessively, hoping for any word that he'd relented; all I got were
nagging whines from girls who wondered why I hadn't called them back. I didn't
try to call him, or catch up with him at any of his classes; that would have
been too pathetic, even for me.
One
morning I woke with something resembling my old resolve, and without even
stopping for breakfast or a shower I jogged across campus to the gym, foggily
wondering if I might find Hari there.
I had
no idea what I would say to him if I found him. I suppose I was half planning
to fall to my knees and hope the pathetic blankness of my postsurgical mask
might soften his clockwork Labor heart.
It
was a stupid thing to do; if I'd been thinking clearly, I wouldn't have come
within a klick of the gym in the morning. Before noon, that's where the
neanderthals gather to flex their muscles and sniff each other's assholes.
Hari
wasn't there, of course. He was too wise for this, too experienced to be caught
out like a young rabbit upwind of a wolf pack. I strolled into the weight room
like I belonged there, and it wasn't until I met Ballinger's eyes, small and red
and hungry like a bear's, that I understood how stupid I had been.
Then
I made my second mistake of the morning: I turned and tried to walk out of
there coolly, with a show of calm confidence. Even though my heart roared in my
ears, I would not show fear before these hyperthyroid pinheads. Hari would have
been smarter; he would have understood how much trouble he was in.
He
would have bolted like a scalded cat, and got away.
I
made it through the fluted arch, and past the door from the gym's main hall, and
was congratulating myself on my narrow escape when a huge hand grabbed my hair
and slammed me against the wall.
The
corridor spun around me; grey patches floated raggedly through my vision.
Ballinger towered over me like a giant, like a dinosaur, incomprehensibly
powerful. Half his face was still swollen and purplish yellow from Hari's kick,
and there was nothing human in his eyes.
I
sagged against the wall, trying to catch my breath, and Ballinger's mouth
split in what he probably thought looked like a smile. "Hey, aren't you
Kris Hansen?" he said, his voice rough with mock awe. "Pleased to
meet you, you little faggot."
Then
he hit me, casually, a kind of paternal slap, just to establish our
relationship. His open palm struck the side of my neck and dubbed me spinning
to the floor. I skidded a little ways, and I curled up into a ball and lay
there, gasping at the shower of stars inside my head.
"Have
a nice trip," he said. "Bet you thought that was pretty funny, didn't
you? I know I did. Shit, I'm still laughing."
He
tangled his fist in the front of my tunic and hauled me up dangling above the
floor. He set my back against the wall and leaned on his fist to pin me there,
driving the breath from my guts. He put his other hand up under my chin and
started to force my head back, and up, against the slicing pressure of my
collar at the back of my neck, the numbing yoke of the tunic tearing down on my
shoulders. I pulled at his arm, which felt like stone under my useless fingers,
and I punched weakly at his face. with nothing but the meager strength of my
scrawny arm behind it, and all I could think of was that Tallman's hand-to-hand
combat classes, and Hari's training, and my wit and good humor and brains and
my record as the top Battle Magick student in the history of the Conservatory,
everything I am, everything I will ever be, all came down to to the tensile
strength of my cervical ligaments. Nothing in the universe was as important
right now as whether or not my neck was stronger than Ballinger's arms—and I knew
it wasn't. I could hear the creaking and popping of my neck giving way.
Stretching wires of pain sang all the way down into my toes.
And I
was wrong about his eyes: they weren't hungry like a bear's. What I could see
from point-blank was an impersonal hunger, an abstract and dispassionate
lust.
They
were hungry like Chandra's.
This
wasn't about me at all; it was about him. He was going to kill me just
to make a point. To prove something to Hari, and to himself.
I'd
done one foolish thing—one thoughtless, fatal act. When I'd dropped to my knees
behind him, I'd mixed into a situation I didn't understand. Now I was going to
die for it. I couldn't even plead for my life; the pressure of his hand held my
jaw shut and cut off my wind.
Then
suddenly, blessedly, the pressure slacked and I could breathe again, and I
found myself staggering under my own weight as he let me go. It took a few
seconds for me to understand what had happened. There were people around us,
and an instructor-I think it was Tallman, but I don't remember for sure—and
Ballinger was laughing and joking with them and cheerfully pretending that
he and I had just been horsing around. The instructor and his group of students
must have come into sight in the corridor just in time to save my life.
Somebody
asked me if I was all right, and I choked out some kind of lie. "Yeah,
yeah, Ballinger just plays kind of rough, that's all."
I
could have filed a complaint against him, sure, but the corridors don't have
the same kind of security camera coverage that the rooms do; we were in a blind
spot, and probably the worst trouble I could have gotten him in was a reprimand
and a few days of push-ups and extra laps.
As
they moved past us toward the gym, Baffinger leaned over to me and spoke
softly. "I'm gonna find you, Hansen. Nobody does me like you did, you hear
me? And you tell that faggot Michaelson that I'm gonna find him, too. And then
I'm gonna show both you pussies how we do shit over here in Combat
School."
And
that's what gave me the idea, right there; it came like a sudden rent in a
storm cloud, a shaft of brilliant sunlight straight into my brain, and I
thought, All right why not?
"Sure,
I'll tell him," I said, grinning behind my mask, the surge of adrenaline
making me forget how scared I was. "I'll tell him all you really want is a
chance to suck his cock."
And
in the half second while what I'd said percolated through twelve layers of
solid bone to reach his walnut-sized brain, I kicked him in the balls.
His
eyes bulged out, and his mouth twisted open to release a strangled hiss. He
reached for me as he doubled over, but I ducked under his hand and ran like
hell. He might have come after me for a few steps, but I'm quick and he was
hurt. He didn't have a chance.
From
behind me as I ran, I clearly heard derisive laughter from the other Combat
students. Even through his pain, I'm sure Ballinger heard it, too.
I0
I
didn't make the mistake of assuming Ballinger was stupid just because he was
big. I didn't know whether or not he was popular with the other Combat
students; I assumed he was. I assumed that any Combat student who spotted me
anywhere on campus would take the news back to him.
Only
five students in the Conservatory were undergoing elving surgeries that term;
it wasn't like I could wear a disguise. For nearly a week I was extremely
careful about where I went and when I went there: I cut some classes,
stayed late at others, kept my movements meticulously erratic, and kept in
sight of crowds whenever possible.
Another
mistake I didn't make was to try dealing with Ballinger rationally, to tell him
I thought he was overreacting to what was, essentially, nothing but a schoolboy
prank. I understood that the next time he caught me alone, he was going to kill
me. I understood that no amount of logical argument, or threat of legal
reprisal, would change this fact.
Besides,
I didn't think he was overreacting. Hari and I, we'd challenged his
manhood. A Labor kid like Ballinger, manhood was all he had. He'd defend it to
the death.
Even
his own.
I
didn't need to wonder from where this understanding came; I knew it clearly. I
was starting to think like Hari.
I
left messages for Hari every day of that week, but he was still ducking me. The
few times I spotted him around campus, he'd go the other way, heading places I
didn't dare to follow—lonely places, like the windswept crags above the
beaches. I had to get to him, though; I needed a place I could corner him, and
I needed a way to convince him to listen.
On
the morning of his first Virtual Acting seminar, I was waiting outside the door
of the VA suite when Hari came walking up. He walked in the midst of a steady
stream of Battle Magick students, but as usual, the tangled darkness of his
demeanor made him look like he was alone. He stopped when he saw me down the
hall, but I knew he'd chew off his own arm before he'd skip VA. He shook his
head disgustedly and came toward me.
I
could read his walk well enough to know that he was planning to brush past me
without a word, counting on the other Battle Magick students to keep us apart.
I stepped out to meet him and stiff-armed him in the middle of his chest.
He
looked down at my hand as though he could wither it with a
glance,
then he met my eyes. "You don't want to be touching me, Hansen." I
matched his tone as best I could. "I have news for you, Hari."
"Fuck your news. Move your hand or I'll break your arm."
The
last of the BM students filed into the VA suite; we were alone how in the
corridor.
"Hari,
just listen for one second, will you?"
"You're
the one who's not lis—"
I
popped him across the mouth, a good smooth right hook with my open palm, not
too hard but with my hip behind it to drive the follow-through, just the way
Tallman teaches it. He staggered across the corridor, off balance, and caught
himself on the wall.
He
bared his teeth. "Do you have any idea how dead you are?"
He
delivered the line pretty well, but I knew his heart wasn't really in it; if
he'd meant it, we wouldn't be talking.
"You
want to kill me?" I said with a shrug. "Get in line."
"Yeah,
I heard about you and Ballinger." He spat on the floor, then scowled at
the pink trace of blood in his saliva. "That `enemy of my enemy' shit
doesn't fly with me, so don't bother. It was a stupid thing to do."
"No,
it wasn't," I told him. "It was the smartest thing I've done so far.
It's so smart it's going to get us both graduated with honors, and on our way
to Overworld."
"Yeah,
swell. I'm late for class."
"Can't
have that," I said. "Hammet's going to call you for the first solo
simulation."
Now I
finally had his full attention. His gaze sharpened. "Bullshit." I
just smiled.
He
stepped closer to me. "How do you know?"
"I
bribed him for it." I chuckled right into his astonished face.
"What's the point of being rich, if you don't use money to get what you
want?"
He
took another step, now close enough that I could smell coffee on his breath.
His eyes glittered like the edge of a knife. "Why?"
"It's
because of this idea I have. To solve our problem."
Faintly,
though the door at my back, I heard Hammet launch into his classic Risk
Lecture: "You, as Actors, have a precisely defined role, irrespective
of whether you swing a blade or throw a lightning bolt, joust or heal the sick.
It is purely and simply this: Your function in society is to risk your life in interesting
ways."
Hari
heard it, too, and he glanced past my shoulder with thinly veiled longing. I
didn't need to flash on him to know that he was wondering if he'd ever get the
chance to do exactly that.
"All
right," he said grimly. "All right, I'm listening."
"No
time to explain right now. When he calls you, he'll put you into the
Waterfront. I've been through this sim, and it's a tough one. Don't use any
magick."
No
surprise, no incomprehension showed on his face; he watched me with
transcendent concentration. "Why not?"
"Because
you're not good enough, Hari. Hammet will make you look like a fool He's a
sadist; humiliating his students is the only real pleasure he takes in
life."
"But
if I don't use magick—"
"Just
don't, you hear me? Magick is exactly what they're expecting. You're a
shitty thaumaturge. Stick with what you know."
I
studied him, trying to see if I was making any impression, but he was as blank
as stone. I shook my head. "Get in there. Hammet will be calling you any
second."
"Kris—"
"No
time, Hari. You want to talk about it, I'll be at my usual table over lunch.
Now go."'
II
I sat
in the back of the Aud, behind the other BM students, and watched Hari on three
of the four big screens in front of the banked keyboards of the instructor's
station. The three views showed him from behind, before, and above; the fourth
didn't show him, but instead was Hari's POV.
He
moved with some assurance through the Waterfront; he, like the other students,
had had two dry runs the week before, to become accustomed to moving in the
feedback suits and to get the feel of pulling the simulated Flow. On the
screen, he looked again the generic-featured manikin I'd fought in the Meadow,
dressed in loose, nondescript tunic and pants.
The
Waterfront was another standardized encounter environment, modeled on the
Terana docks on the west coast of the Ankhanan Empire. A tangled maze of
clapboard shops, taverns, and brothels crowded what once were broad
rights-of-way between massive stone-built warehouses. The streets teemed with
people of all descriptions as well as a liberal sprinkling of the subhuman
races of Overworld, but these were only for atmosphere. Hari could actually
interact only with Hammet's TM, five retired Actors who waited in feedback
suits of their own, in other cubicles of the VA suite. They would take on the
roles of the other characters in this encounter.
The
first Waterfront encounter is pretty simple. As he's walking along, the student
hears feminine screams from a nearby alley; when he investigates—which he will,
as avoiding the encounter is not an option if he wants to pass VA—he sees a man
using a stout stick to beat a woman. The student has three spells to call upon:
a Minor Shield, a fairly powerful Telekinesis, and, of course, the basic Flow
bolt that any spellcaster can use.
What
most students do—what I did, in fact—is self-righteously order the man to lay
off, and when he refuses, to enforce the order with magick, either Shielding
the woman or attacking the man with the TK or a Flow bolt.
This
is where your average student gets stomped, because there isn't just one man,
there are four: one behind him, and two more lying low on the one-story
rooftops to either side of the alley. As soon as the student enters the
trancelike state of mindview, all three of them jump him.
Now,
don't get me wrong: You can fight them. The street and alleyway are even
designed with a number of features that can be improvised into weapons by a
resourceful student, like some broken jugs and splintered timbers, loose
cobblestones as big as your fist that can be thrown by TK, and a couple of
nooks you can back into and seal with a Shield.
In
the end, though, they'll get you. Even if you manage to fight off all
four—which, as far as I know, no one has ever done successfully, except me—the
woman herself is part of the plan, and she'll knife you at her first
opportunity. That's where I lost.
The
whole purpose of this encounter, it seems to me, is to humiliate the student
who goes through it—and to impress upon all the BM kids how vulnerable they are
when they enter mindview. You can't win the fight; what Hammet does, afterward,
is talk about how you could have made losing more entertaining.
Hammet's
first clue that Hari's encounter wasn't going to go entirely according to plan
probably came when Hari peered around the corner of the alley and saw the man
beating the woman with the stick. His manikin's face was, of course,
expressionless, but Hari's distinctive mutter came over the Aud's PA rich with
scorn.
"Oh,
that's original," he snorted. "Give me a break."
He
shook his head and shuffled his feet a little; I thought he was searching for a
balanced stance to enter mindview, and my heart sank. But he had other things
on his mind: his shuffling feet had found one of those loose cobbles, and he
bent and picked it up.
This
is where the student steps forward and utters some fatuous variation on the
time-honored "Stop, you fiend! Unhand that woman!" but Hari
just
stood there for a moment and watched him beat her, holding the cobblestone
thoughtfully.
Hammet
keyed his mike. "Michaelson, what are you doing?"
"I'm
intervening," came Hari's muttered reply. "That's what I'm supposed
to do, right?"
'Get
on with it, then."
"All
right."
He
took one step forward and fired the cobble overhand. As the stone left his hand
he shouted, "Hey, asshole!" The man with the stick turned to
look, just in time to catch about half a kilo of stone full in the mouth. The
impact lifted him off his feet and dumped him to the ground like he'd been hit
with a bat.
Every
student of Battle Magick in the Aud gasped like an affronted Leisurewoman.
"All
right, I've intervened," Hari said to the air, sounding bored. "Now
what?"
Some
of the gasps gave way to snickers.
Hammet
snarled something unintelligible, and the two men who had waited atop the
single-story buildings leaped down toward Hari as though they wanted to land on
him. Somehow, he'd been expecting this; he darted toward and past one of them,
his arm extended to hook the falling man's legs out from under him. The
poor guy tumbled in the air and landed hard on the back of his neck.
The
other rolled with the fall and came up with a knife in his hand, but Hari had
kept moving to the alley wall, where the pile of timbers stood. By the time the
knife guy rolled to his feet, all he had a chance to see was a long section of
two-by-four swinging down at his head. He got his arm up in time to take the
blow, but it drove him back down to his knees, and Hari kicked him in the face.
By
the time the fourth TA arrived, sword in hand, three men were down. Hari faced
the fourth with his two-by-four angled before him like a bastard sword at
garde. He hesitated, and through Hari's POV I clearly saw his gaze shift over
Hari's shoulder; on the front view I saw the woman lunge toward Hari's back.
But
again he was somehow ready for this; with uncanny, almost prescient assurance
he slipped to one side and backhanded the two-by-four across her chest. It
stopped her cold, and in that one second of stunned stillness, he dropped the
board, took the knife from her opening fingers, and yanked her around in front
of him as a shield, the knife against her throat.
"Drop
the sword or she dies," he rasped, and I don't know if the TA believed him
or not, but I did.
There
was a moment of shocked silence in the Aud, then a scattering of applause,
which turned to shouts of useless warning as the man Hari had felled with the
rock rose up behind him and clubbed him across the back of the head.
Even
then, Hari didn't fall immediately. Half stunned, he still managed to slash the
woman's throat and cast her aside to turn on his attacker, but now the man he'd
kicked in the face had risen as well, and the one who'd fallen on his
head, and they all waded in on him with knives and clubs. He fought with
desperate ferocity, but he couldn't handle them all at once.
They
beat the crap out of him.
The
feedback suits in the VA suite are loaded with failsafes; they can't do much
worse than raise a welt or give you a minor bruise and a lump or two. On the
other hand, the simulation programs were supposed to shut down a feedback suit
when its sim takes what should be a killing or incapacitating blow.
From
his keyboard at the instructor's station, Hammet had altered the simulation's
parameters, to let his TM get up after they should have been eliminated—even
the woman whose throat was supposed to be cut.
They
spent longer than they really needed to take Hari out, battering him from one
side of the virtual alley to the other and back again. They punished him as
much as the feedback suit would allow, and he never made a sound. When his
manikin lay stretched out and bleeding on the cobbles, Hammet ended the
simulation.
He
rose and keyed his throat mike. "Michaelson? You want to tell me what that
was supposed to be about?"
Hari's
response, muffled perhaps by the simulated unconsciousness of his manikin,
sounded like something like, "Cheating bastard ..."
And a
faint rustle of assent came from the BM kids in the seats of the Aud.
Hammet's
tone went icy, and I could see the man was livid, as though he'd received a
deadly insult. "Are you some kind of a joker, Michaelson? Why didn't you
use any magick?"
Hari's
reply was an open sneer. "What for?"
"Because
that's what you do, you dumb shit. You're supposed to be a thaumaturge,
aren't you?"
"What
I am," Hari said, "is an Actor. What I do, is risk my life in
interesting ways, right?"
"Don't
mock me, you Temp sack of shit. How do you expect to graduate from the College
of Battle Magick if you can't throw a fucking spell?"
I
rose quietly in the back of the Aud; I had a feeling this argument was going to
escalate in an unpleasant way, and I had already seen everything I needed to
see.
This
was going to work.
12
I sat
alone in the dining hall. For self-protection, I chose to be in public view as
much as possible, so I'd begun a habit of lingering there at mealtimes.
My
friends often sat with me; I was still as popular as ever, and it was
considered something of a coup in Shitschool to be seen eating at my
ta ble. None of them really understood what was happening; they all
thought I was very brave, for the way I'd faced down Ballinger, and they all
joked and laughed and told each other, See? Those Combat jerks aren't as
tough as they think they are. Most of them are only Labor trash, after all.
Hollow men, they said smugly, congratulating themselves for their superior
breeding, covered in muscle but empty inside.
I
could have told them how tough those Combat jerks are. I could have told these
scions of European Business houses, these social-climbing Professionals and
self-conscious Tradesmen, that those hollow Labor men are filled with a
terrifying solidity.
But
what's the point? They wouldn't believe me, not really; I had no way to
bring them to the understanding that Hari had given me. They'd only think I was
putting on airs, that I was being melodramatic, the same way I'd thought Hari
was. I ached to find a way to lock each of these smug creeps that I used to
think were my friends in a room alone with Ballinger for ten minutes.
Let
them look into the eyes of that hollow man as he looms over them like a
thunderhead. It'd change their fucking lives.
That
noontide, after Hari's VA debut, these creeps and hangers-on had left early,
and I sat alone at my table, going over Hardanger's Primal Culture, barely
seeing the words on the screen, wondering if Hari was going to find me here.
I was
slogging through the third of Hardanger's five alternate translations of the
heroic epic Dannellarii T'ffar when Hari came through the door. Two
weeks ago, maybe, I would have kept reading, to pretend to be cool and
nonchalant; I had neither time nor patience for that now. I flipped the screen
closed and waited for Hari to reach my table.
He
had a couple lumps coming up on his face, and he approached me cautiously.
"All right," he said, eyeing me with a kind of animal wariness.
"I'm listening."
"Sit?'
I waved an offering hand to the chair opposite, and waited while he thought it
over.
Slowly,
watching me, he slid into the chair. "So. What was that about? Hammet
hates my guts, now"
I
shrugged. "Hammet hates everybody. Don't worry about it." "They
beat the shit out of me."
"Only
because Hammet reset the sim parameters, and everybody in that room knew it.
The story will be all over campus by tonight. Nobody beats that encounter. Nobody.
Not even me. You're going to be a legend in the College of Battle Magick,
Hari."
"Like
you? Big fucking deal. Am I supposed to thank you for it?"
"It'll
make your career; I told him. "It'll get you graduated with honors and off
to Overworld."
"How
am I gonna graduate when I can barely throw a fucking spell?"
"Hari,
Hari, Hari," I said, shaking my head in mock pity. "I think you're
the only guy who was in the Aud today who didn't get it. You don't need magick,
Hari. Leave the spells to upcaste pussies like me, huh? You're going to
graduate from the College of Combat."
Give
him credit as a flexible thinker: he didn't scoff. He leaned back in his chair
and stared through me with narrowed eyes, thinking hard. I went on,
"Did you get a recording? You proved today that you can fight and win—even
when you're completely overmatched. Hari, that was five to one! You weren't
even armed. I've never seen anything like it, and neither has anybody
else around here."
He
shook his head, and his eyes went cold; I could see him talk himself out of it.
"Proves nothing. That's why they call it a simulation, Kris."
"Yeah,
I know. Chandra won't even consider it—unless we force him to."'
"How
do you plan to do that?"
I
took a deep breath and sighed it out; for a moment I had a fleeting fancy of
being on Overworld, of summoning mindview and slipping a Suggestion into Hari's
unconscious mind. It was a pleasant fancy, and it gave me a warm little smile.
"The
whole thing revolves around proving that you, Hari Michaelson, skinny little
Labor trash Shitschool student, can take on a highly trained warrior three
times your size in the real world, straight up, no rules," I began. I
would have gone on, but Hari was right with me.
"You're
talking about Ballinger."
I
nodded. "You can bump chests with him all you want, but me?" I spread
my hands. "I need this settled before he kills me. I have it worked out so
we can tie the whole thing up with a ribbon, and everybody's happy."'
"How
do you figure?"
I
held up my hand. "First, you tell me: What do you think?"
"Going
over to Combat? Shit, Kris, it'll never happen. Even the girls over
there outmass me by ten kilos. You ever been hit by somebody who is, like,
double your mass?"
"Just
once," I said grimly. "I didn't care for it. But we're talking about
you. Forget whether you think it's possible. Do you want to?"
He
sat there and stared through me, and didn't answer.
I
leaned forward. "I know," I told him. "I know why you're
in Battle Magick. Why you want to be an Actor. It's because, deep down,
what you really like is to hurt people."
He
didn't deny it. I grinned. "Do it on Earth, you're in prison, or cyborged.
Do it on Overworld, you're a star."
He
squinted at me.
"Sure,"
I went on, "BM was your best chance to get to Overworld—but not anymore.
You don't have it, Hari. You're not going to make it." His lips
compressed, and his face darkened.
"But,
you know why you don't have it?" I said. "Why you'll
never be an adept? I saw it all when we fought in the Meadow. Your Shell? It
stops at your fists. It's because when you think about hurting people, when you
really let your passion run, you don't care about magick. You want to do it by hand."
He
picked up my notescreen and fiddled with the lid; he lowered his face, underlit
by the screen's sporadic flicker as he flipped it back and forth.
"Today,
in the simulation, after you threw the rock, when they all started coming at
you you never even thought about pulling magick, did you? It had nothing to do
with what I told you; it never occurred to you to throw a spell. You forgot,
didn't you?"
"No,"
he said, so softly that I could barely hear him, and his eyes were
hooded. "No, I didn't forget. I was just ..
"Just
what?"
He
met my eyes, and his face shone. He had the steady, concentrated stare of a stalking
lion.
"I
was having too much fun."
I3
It
only took three days to set up.
At
the end of that time, I slipped into the men's washroom in the Language Arts
building after my midterm on the western dialects of Primal—my first test of
that day—and Ballinger was waiting for me.
The
Language Arts shifter isn't much: four stalls, six urinals, a pair of sinks, a
small supply closet. Hari and I chose it because it has only one security
camera, which covers pretty much the whole space.
I
stood at a urinal with my dry dick in my hand, skin crawling up my back; I was
too scared to pee. When I had told him my plan, Hari had measured me with that
squint he got whenever he was surprised, and murmured, "Y'know, you're
betting your life that I can take Ballinger."
"Yeah,
I am," I had told him easily enough at the time. "Or at least slow
him down enough for Security to get there."'
Now,
though, as I stood at the urinal, the doors of all four stalls behind me opened
at once, and a hand like the claw of a steam shovel took the back of my neck
and forced my face into the cold tile wall, and Ballinger said,
"Tone, hold the door," and suddenly I didn't have any trouble peeing
at all.
He
wasn't alone.
We
were sure he'd do this by himself; why wouldn't he? We were sure he didn't
think he'd need help, not against me. We were sure he wouldn't want any
witnesses, damned sure.
Dead
sure.
I'd
been expecting, too, some of his brutal, predatory playfulness, some
mock-cheerful one-liners to draw things out for a minute or two before fore he
got down to the serious business of killing me. Instead, he bounced my face off
the wall.
Stars
showered behind my eyes, and my knees went slack. The washroom wobbled around
me as his irresistibly powerful hands turned me to face him. He held me pinned
against the wall, and his tiny bearish eyes swept contemptuously down my front
to my shriveling penis. "Nah, leave your pants down," he said.
"That suits."
"Ballinger,"
I gasped, "don't—"
He
slammed me against the wall again, and the lights in the washroom went reddish
brown in my eyes, and I couldn't tell if he had two friends in here, or four,
or six, because I'd forgotten how to count, or even what numbers might mean.
"You
shouldna made a pass at me, Hansen," Ballinger said thickly. "I
coulda let that go, but then you jumped me. I hadda defend myself. It was an accident,
that's all. I dint even really mean to hurt you."
"Ballin—"
"Shut
up." His massive fist hit my short ribs like a freightliner, and something
broke inside me. Blood bubbled up my throat.
"Here,
you little fuck," he said, his thick fingers clawing under the edge of my
plastic mask. "Let's have a look." He ripped it off my face. Some of
my flesh went with it.
"Jesus,"
he said, eyes full of revolted surprise. "Dint you used to be
good-looking?"
My
hands went to my violated face, and he threw me to the ground. I caught myself,
just barely, and my palms left bloody streaks as they skidded along the tile;
gasping, I stared at these twin parallel scarlet smears as though they had some
arcane meaning that could save my life.
Ballinger
kicked me in the guts hard enough to lift me off the floor. When I bounced back
down, he stepped back for his friends to take a turn.
I
heard a wet splintering rip, like a rotting door being kicked in, but at the
same instant a boot hit me in the head and darkened the world.
The
last sight I clearly remember was the security camera, high up in a corner
above me; its little indicator diode, which shines red to let you know it's
working, was as black as a seagull's eye.
14
The
thing that strikes you the most, watching the recording of the fight in the
bathroom, is how fast Hari is, all speed and preternatural assurance,
like a ballet dancer executing well-rehearsed choreography.
Even
as I'm hitting the ground after Ballinger's kick, you see him fly from outside
the frame, already in the air, having thrown himself into a vicious cut-block
that brings his hip against the side of the nearest Combat student's knee. The
knee bends sideways, making the ripping, splintering sound that I thought was
the door, and the Combat student—Jan Colon, from Madrid, I found out
later—falls hard, too stunned to even guess how bad he's hurt.
One
down.
Ballinger
kicks me again then; he doesn't yet realize what's happening. The recording
shows me still semiconscious, curled around my broken ribs. Another of
Ballinger's three buddies, Pat Connor from a suburb of Dublin called Dun
Laoghaire, has a weapon, a half-meter length of pipe; but even as he's turning
and starting to lift it, Hari leaps into his arms, locking his legs around
Connor's chest and his arm around Connor's throat. His back's to the camera;
you can't see what he's doing there, but Connor hits him across the back two or
three times with the pipe and Hari doesn't seem to notice.
Then
Connor drops the pipe and Hari lets him go, and Connor staggers away, howling,
his hands to his face, blood leaking through his fingers. By the time we
reviewed this recording, I had learned that Hari had stuck his thumb into
Connor's left eye hard enough to rip the socket muscles.
Two
down.
Actually,
three: Anthony Jefferson, the one guarding the door, had come into this
expecting a cheerful afternoon outing, a nice, safe beating; he claimed, later,
that Ballinger had told him he only planned to rough me up a little. Whatever
the truth may be, he certainly hadn't planned on sticking his hand into this
particular meat grinder. When two of his friends went down screaming in
less than ten seconds, his nerve broke and he ran out the door, yelling for
Security.
Ballinger,
on the other hand
The
shrieks of his friends seem to make him happy, somehow—to fill him with some
inexplicable confidence and joy. He turns on Hari like a bear facing a
wolverine, his huge shoulders hulking forward into a graceless wrestler's
crouch; there's something of the bear as well in his loose-jointed shambling
step, a slow and powerful clumsiness as though he's not used to walking on his
hind legs.
Hari
strikes like a rattlesnake, an unhumanly swift uncoiling that swings his
shinbone toward Ballinger's knee faster than the eye can follow, a kick that
will cripple him. That's when you learn that Ballinger's clumsy shamble is an
act, a con, a sucker play to draw Hari in. There's a reason why Ballinger's at
the top of his class.
He
picks up his foot not high, a few centimeters, just enough that the kick lands
harmlessly on his shin—and then falls on Hari like an undermined wall.
His
weight bears them both to the ground. Ballinger's on top, and once again you
can't really see what they're doing. Part of the training of Combat students is
jujitsu matwork; that grunting and those liquid crunches you can hear are the
sounds of bad things happening to Hari's joints.
In
the background, you can see me, rolling over, trying to rise. I remember
knowing that Hari was in trouble, and that I had to move; I'd like to think
that I was getting up to help him, but I don't know, that may be wishful
thinking.
I was
probably getting up to run.
Even as
I find my unsteady feet, Hari somehow frees an arm from Ballinger's smothering
embrace, and his hand closes around that half-meter length of pipe that Connor
had dropped. He bangs Ballinger on the back of the head once, and then again,
as though to let him know that the first one wasn't an accident. Ballinger,
though, he's no amateur; instead of rolling off and giving Hari an opening for
a full swing with the pipe, he snuggles his head down closer to Hari's and
reaches out to gather in that free arm. But then you see him twitch, then
convulse, and rear up, reaching his feet in a powerful surge that ignores the
weight of Hari, who is hanging from Ballinger's face by his teeth
Ballinger
roars and shoves him away, and blood sprays; Hari slams off a wall and caroms
from a stall divider, but bounces upright like a pop-up punching bag. One of
his arms hangs limp from a dislocated shoulder, and one of his legs
doesn't seem able to bear much weight, and he's still smiling as he
spits out a mouthful of Ballinger's cheek.
Ballinger
lunges for him again, but now Hari has room and leverage for a full-armed swing
of that pipe. The pipe hits the outside of Ballinger's forearm with a wet
crunch, neatly breaking the bone, and instead of trying to recover for another
swing, Hari uses the momentum to carry himself into a spin like he's delivering
a backfist. Ballinger's wounded arm drops; he has no guard at all as the pipe
whistles around—actually whistles, like a bottle when you blow across
its neck—and splinters his skull just above his right ear.
Ballinger's
eyes roll up, and he drops to his knees, his face utterly blank, a doll's face,
a corpse's, then he pitches forward to bounce, once, on the cold tile floor.
Hari
stands over him, swaying, his face burning like a torch.
By
the time Security arrives, I'm in the process of striking my sole blow in this
battle: I'm on my knees next to Ballinger's body, puking all over his back.
15
Later,
it made us heroes, of course—especially Hari. The evidence on the Security cube
was incontrovertible: he had unquestionably saved my life.
There
was a discrepancy or two, though, that interested the Security investigators
quite a bit. For one, they couldn't seem to figure out how Hari had gotten in
through the bathroom door when it was being held by a Combat student who
outmassed him by forty kilos. "I don't know," Hari repeated
endlessly. "I didn't even see him. Maybe he was just standing by the
door, instead of actually holding it."
We
certainly weren't going to tell them that Hari had been hiding in the
bathroom's supply closet for more than an hour, waiting.
They
also couldn't seem to figure out how Ballinger had planned to get away with it,
when the whole act was carried out in full view of the bathroom's security
camera. They kept after us for a few days on that one, and we steadfastly
proclaimed our ignorance until finally Ballinger woke up enough to answer
questions in his now-thick, halting, slurred voice.
It
seemed that a certain Battle Magick student, Pierson by name, had conceived a rivalry
with me. Not understanding the deadliness of Ballinger's intentions, he had
offered to help Ballinger get even with me by disabling a security camera in
the area of his choice. After tracking my movements for a couple of days,
Ballinger's cohorts had established that the Language Arts shitter would
be the place to take me—I hit it every day at the same time, between classes.
When
questioned, Pierson admitted the whole thing with well-acted sheepishness. Of
course, he'd had no way of knowing that Ballinger planned to do more than
frighten and humiliate me; how could he? As for the security camera, he gave
them a shrugging, "Guess I didn't know as much about it as I thought. All
I managed to disable was the indicator diode. Kinda embarrassing, really."
Pierson
came from a Professional family; both his parents are electrical engineers.
He'd done it exactly the way I'd told him to—he was one of those
social-climbing creeps who wanted to sit at my table—and he'd also managed to
patch into the camera cable to make our own recording of the incident.
That
recording was read into the Conservatory computer from an open terminal in the
library and was tracelessly e-mailed to Hari's Patron, Businessman Marc Vilo,
along with a note from Hari comprising some specific suggestions on how this
recording might be used.
Hari
and I and Pierson, we'd had our stories straight well in advance, and they
weren't complicated enough to lead us into a tangle of lies; handling the
Security investigators didn't even make me nervous.
It
was a little different, the day the Social Police came in.
Four
of them—a whole enforcement squad—came to see me, blank and anonymous behind
their shapeless body armor and their mirrored helmets, to park themselves on
either side of my infirmary bed and take turns asking me questions in voices
flattened to absolute neutrality by the digitizers in their helmet speakers.
Talking to them, I was more frightened than I'd been when Ballinger slammed my
head into the wall in that bathroom.
They
weren't interested in anything I might have done; they were gathering evidence
against Ballinger for capital Forcible Contact Upcaste. My father was pressing
charges; he thought our family lawyers might be able to find a loophole in the
Conservatory's statutory caste-neutral environment. If so, Ballinger could be
executed.
All
the Social Police wanted was to establish that Ballinger had known I was
upcaste of him. That's all. But I could barely speak to them. They scared the
crap out of me.
Through
it all, the only face I ever saw was my own, distorted and leering in their
silvered masks. They spoke only to ask me questions, never among themselves,
and each digitized voice was indistinguishable from every other.
I've
always believed, along with the rest of the world, that the masks of the
Social Police were designed to protect the identities of their agents, so that
these agents' ability to go incognito, to infiltrate the ranks of society's
enemies, could never be impaired. No Social Police officer's identity was ever
made public; no Social Police officer ever appeared without his or her silver
mask, shape-concealing body armor, and vocal digitizer, not even in court.
Kids
like to tell each other stories that even the wives and husbands of soapies
never learn the profession of their spouses; I was old enough to know that
those stories had to be wild exaggerations, but now I felt shifting beneath me
some underlying truth, as though the earth moved and carried me to a new way of
seeing, a perspective that harshened the light of the infirmary and made the
antiseptic odor of my skin and bedclothes into something mephitic and sinister.
I
caught myself wondering if there was a room somewhere within the Social Police
headquarters where soapies might remove their masks and be simply men and women
with each other. Instinctively, I doubted it; even a moment of admitting a
personal identity would somehow undermine their power—would weaken the
invincible magick armor of their anonymity.
They
kept pressing me on Ballinger, from one side and another, as though if they
kept asking me the same question long enough they'd eventually get the answer
they wanted. And I wanted to give it to them, I really did but the truth was, I
didn't know if Ballinger really understood that I was from a Business Family.
I told them that again and again, but they kept after me like a pack of dogs
harrying a stag. Somehow, down inside, I had a sickening feeling that it wasn't
really Ballinger they were after—that their real goal was to drag a lie out of
me, a lie they could use to kill him.
They
wanted him dead, sure; but more than that, they wanted me to be their accomplice.
This
didn't come to me in a flash. Once or twice, I kind of had that half-dizzy
feeling a flash gives me, but I never got anything from them. And maybe that
was it; maybe that was it exactly.
Maybe
I did flash on them, and there was nothing there.
16
Early
that evening, not long after dinner, Chandra came to see me in the infirmary,
and he brought Hari with him.
I was
pretty well tubed up in the bed—on a respirator and an N drip—and a little
woozy from anesthetic by-products that still lingered in my bloodstream. I'd
had a couple hours of surgery, to repair the lung one of my broken
ribs had punctured, and to fix the rupture Ballinger had kicked into my spleen.
I'd gone through hours of questions from the Social Police. I was exhausted,
dazed, and in a growing amount of pain, but when I saw the look on Chandra's
face I felt like dancing.
He
looked confused, and frightened, and old. Beaten. More than beaten: wounded.
He looked like a gutshot deer, getting weaker without understanding the
pain.
Hari
rode beside him in a motorized chair, one leg splinted straight out before him
to immobilize his sprained knee ligaments, and his left arm in a clear plastic
shoulder cast. But if he felt any pain, I couldn't see it through the
fierce triumph on his face.
"Hansen,"
Chandra said, his voice stretched thin with tense exhaustion, "I have been
in teleconference with your father, and--" His face twisted bitterly.
"—with Businessman Vilo."
His
eyes met mine, and some kind of spasm passed over his face, leaving emptiness
in its wake. "Effective tomorrow, Michaelson will have his academic
credits transferred and will be enrolled as a student in the College of Combat.
You ..." his voice faltered, then regathered some vague strength.
"You will come before the Graduation Board in July, as scheduled. In
exchange for this, your father has agreed not to press charges against poor
Ballinger for Forcible Contact Upcaste, and Businessman Vilo will leave
me—leave the Conservatory—alone."
Poor
Ballinger? I thought, but had other
things to say; I had prepared for this moment, and I had no intention of being
gracious in victory.
"I
think that's generous of him," I said. My plastic respirator mask gave my
words a muffled, hollow authority. "I think that's generous of them both.
I think that there is a tradition of lax leadership here,
Administrator—and it is this failure of leadership that has fostered a permissive
and violent atmosphere, where bullying and beating are more than tolerated;
they are encouraged. I very nearly lost my life because you failed in
your fundamental responsibility: to keep order in this
institution."
It
sounded good coming out, and felt even better: I sounded like my father, and I
began to understand the keen pleasure of self-righteously dressing down an
undercaste.
But
Chandra was far from crushed; his sorrowful expression hardened. "When
Vilo threatened to petition the Board of Governors for my ouster, I was tempted
to laugh at him. Let them investigate. Let them find out the truth. I
know, you see, Hansen. I know that you and Michaelson set this whole thing up.
I know."
Hari
didn't so much as blink. My first instinct was to bluster, but I followed
Hari's lead and held my expression as neutral as I could.
Chandra
looked from me to Hari, then back again, and the hardness in his face melted
back into weary despair. "But I don't know why. I don't know how
this—we--ended up here, in the infirmary. I don't know why we'll have to find a
donor eye for Pat Connor, why Jan Colon is undergoing reconstructive
knee surgery even now. Ballinger is in a coma in Athens; the best neurosurgeon
in Europe has just finished pulling splinters of his skull out of the right
lobe of his brain. They say he'll probably survive, but the extent of the
permanent damage won't be known for days, or weeks."
A
slow, sick weight gathered within my chest.
Chandra's
eyes were raw with pain.
"You
have what you want. Both of you. I—I cannot stand ..." His breath hitched,
then steadied. "I will have no further bloodshed. One student maimed,
another crippled. A third with a fractured skull and permanent brain damage.
You did this, Hansen. And you, Michaelson. And for what? To get a transfer into
the College of Combat?"
He
opened his hands helplessly. "Why did it have to be this way? Was there no
other choice?"
I
wanted to answer him, but no words came to my lips. The respirator seemed to
suck air from my lungs, just as it had sucked all the moisture from my mouth. I
glanced at Hari, but his face was as unreadable as a fetish mask.
Chandra
shook his head, and his eyes glistened with unshed tears. "Couldn't you
have asked?"
I7
Hours
became days, and weeks. Hari was released from the infirmary long before I was;
by the time I saw him again, he was already established in the Combat school.
Though he would never have the size and strength necessary to be competitive in
the tank warfare of the lumbering, heavily armored Combat Trials, he liked to
point out that no one wears armor all the time, not even on Overworld. He never
bothered to train in armor, himself, and there was no man or woman on campus
who would care to face him over a pair of bokken without it.
He
spent much of his time working with Hammet and Tallman on techniques that would
allow him to defeat an armored opponent, taking advantage of his superior speed
and mobility to knock a man down or to close with him into the infighting range
where a sword is useless and a stiletto can enter a visor, or slip beneath a
gorget. He got good at it, too, as I knew he would. Never good enough to
consistently beat a really gifted Combat student like Ballinger once was—but
good enough that no one, not even the best, was entirely comfortable
coming into the ring with him, or facing him in a VA sim.
He
was a celebrity on campus, a curiosity, a traveling one-man freak show. There
was no one on the island that didn't know who he was, no one that didn't want
to be able to say they'd spent time with him; he began to hold court in the
cafeteria, just as I once had.
He
was the idol of a growing circle of awed magick students, and he became the
unofficial mascot of the College of Combat. Connor and Colon took to following
him around like bachelor wolves behind their pack leader; far from holding a
grudge for their injuries, they would proudly point them out and tell the story
of how Hari had gouged out Connor's eye, and why Colon still walked with a
slight limp. All his course work improved, especially his academics. By the
time the Combat Trials rolled around, the week of my Graduation Boards,
it was clear that Hari would graduate near the top of his class.
I
didn't grudge him any of this. He deserved it. Setup or not, Hari was a real
hero. Fighting four Combat students, single-handed, had never been part of our
plan—but Hari hadn't even hesitated. I never forgot that he could have just
stayed in that supply closet and let them kill me.
Ballinger,
though—the bone splinters had sliced into his brain. He has recovered limited
use of the left side of his body, they tell me, enough to walk with a crutch
strapped to his shoulder, but his eyes will not focus, and half his mouth is
forever frozen in rictus, and he will never be an Actor, never go to Overworld;
he'll live out his days in a Temp house in Philadelphia, on subsistence.
I
almost screened him, once. I don't know what I would have told him, what I
could possibly have said. There was no way to make him understand that I
flashed on him in unguarded moments, every day; that every day I became him,
in his hospital bed, incontinent, a nurse emptying his diaper into a bedpan. I
became him struggling through rehab with a steel strut buckled to my shoulder
to take the place of a working leg, dragging the dead half of a body that once
had been my greatest pride. Feeling the twisting rivulet of drool that
constantly trails from my half open lips.
Maybe
I wanted to tell him that I would never forget how expensive my dream had
become.
I made
up my midterms, took top honors in each, as usual. I went through the rest of
my surgeries, took my classes, did my course work, went on with my life.
Stayed
away from people.
I
took my meals in my rooms, didn't speak on campus. I drifted from class to
class like a ghost. Soon enough, no one bothered to speak to me, ei ther.
My circle of creeps had a new hero to suck up to, and Hari was welcome to them.
It
wasn't Ballinger's face I saw in my nightmares. It was Chandra's. It was
Chandra's voice I heard, asking if there had been no other way.
Hari,
though, he stuck by me. I don't think he liked me much, either; I think he felt
like he owed me something, and that kept him coming around, talking to me,
trying to keep me going.
It
was Hari who kept telling me not to surrender to Chandra's guilt-laying game,
who kept reminding me that it was Chandra who put this whole thing in motion.
Chandra's speech in the infirmary, he said, had been nothing more than a weak
man's attempt to avoid responsibility for the consequences of his actions.
Which may have been true, but it changed the facts not at all.
I
hadn't tried another way. I hadn't
even thought about it.
Maybe,
if I had tried, I could have saved my dream without killing Ballinger's. I had
slid right into Hari's world. I had turned to violence and slaughter because it
was easier simpler, more efficient.
More
fun.
I
could not pay this price for my dream. I stayed in my classes on pure inertia.
Though I had told no one, not even Hari, my mind was made up. I would give up
Acting. Give up Overworld. Let my dream of magick die. It wouldn't help
Ballinger, of course; but it would let me sleep.
All I
had to do was shitcan my Boards, and then I would never have to face this
choice again. There is no second chance; if you fail before the Graduation
Board, they just go ahead and send you home.
The
night before I was to go in front of the Graduation Board, Hari Michaelson
saved, my life again.
I8
We
sat in my room, sharing a liter of retsina, talking about our careers. It's traditional,
at the Conservatory, for a student's friends to sit up with him the night
before his Boards. The night before, you're too nervous to sleep anyway, and
you need friends to keep you company.
Hari
was the only friend I had left.
When
his Boards came, next term, he'd have a crowd of well-wishers in his room, a
party so thick you couldn't squeeze from one end to the other; that night, the
two of us sat at the edges of a pool of pale yellow light from my desk lamp,
drank the bitter pine-flavored wine, and talked in low voices. We talked about
him, because the words that would come if we talked about me, I could not bear
to hear, or speak.
"C'mon,
Kris," he said, a little unsteadily, as he drained the last glass.
"You really think I'll make it?"
"Hari,"
I said seriously, "you're a star already. Look at the way people watch you
around here. Everyone knows you're going to be huge. You're like something out
of a twentieth-century samurai film—or a pirate movie. This industry lives on
novelty ... and it's more than that, too, You've got it, whatever it is. Star
quality. I can see it. You can, too-I mean, think about how you, like, came alive
when everybody started paying attention to you. It's like you're a whole
different person, now. Shit, if I didn't know you so well, I'd say you were
happy."
He
smiled into his empty glass, his eyes fixed on some far-distant future.
"Where do you think we'll be, twenty years from now? Big stars, all over
the nets? Whole magazines devoted to our sex lives, that kind of shit?"
I
shrugged. "You, maybe—if you live. Me? I guess I'll be VP of something in
Malmo, in the family industry." I managed to say it like it didn't even
hurt.
He
blinked owlishly, staring at me in half-potted confusion.
I
shook my head at his silent question, and took a deep breath that slid
painfully around the knot at the bottom of my throat.
In
the end, I guess, I had to tell him. It was vanity, really. I thought I could
handle the snickers, and the I knew he never had it in him stories, and
the false commiseration I would get from the other students when word got out
that I'd failed. But I couldn't take it from Hari; I had to let him know I was
tanking the Boards on purpose. Of all the people I have ever known, he was the
one that I most wanted to understand that I could pass, if 1 wanted to.
I
needed him to understand that this was a failure of nerve, not of ability.
"I
can't do it, Hari," I said slowly. "I think about it this way, that
way, every way, and I just can't do it. Remember what you told me all those
months ago, right when Nye first met? I don't have it. You were right,
man. I don't have it"
"Bullshit."
"It's
true."
"It
fucking isn't true," Hari said fiercely. "This is still about
Ballinger, right?"
"Yeah."
"He
got what was coming to him, that's all. He was begging for it."
"It's not that."
"Then
what is it? What?" His face flushed red, and he looked like he wanted to
hit me, as though he could slap the weakness out of my head.
I
only he could. "I'm a coward," I said helplessly.
"What,
because you folded when he hit you? Jesus Christ Kris! Ballinger was
three times your size, a fucking stone killer. You had no chance against
him--but you walked into that shifter anyway. There are different kinds of
courage, Kris. The hot kind, that's mine. Once the action starts, I'm all into
it but there are lots of people like that. Yours is the cold kind. Cold
courage, man. You have to be just about the bravest son of a bitch I ever
met."
My
eyes went hot, and my tongue went thick, and all I could do was shake my head.
How could I explain? But if I didn't start talking, I was going to start
crying, and I would have rather died.
So I
said, "All I ever wanted was to go to Overworld. My whole life, all I ever
wanted was to be an Actor. But you know what being an Actor is, Hari? It's
stepping back into that bathroom, every day."
"You
can handle it," he insisted. "On Overworld, you're gonna be the
toughest kid on the block—like when you tore me up in the Meadow—"
"It's
not that," I said. "It's not the danger. I don't care about
the danger. It's stepping back into that bathroom because I'd have to hurt
somebody, to kill him just to get another point of market share, a few
bloody thousand marks. And what does that mean, to me? I'm rich already. What
do I need so badly that it's worth somebody's life?"
"Fucking
upcaste liberal," Hari muttered. "There's nothing cheaper than
somebody's life. If you were Labor, you'd know it—Laborers are born knowing
it. Shit, in the Mission District, you can buy a murder for less than the price
of a steak dinner."
"But
that's you," I said. "That's not me, and I can't pretend it is."
"Then
I guess we got a problem." "We?"
He
settled back into his chair and set his wineglass on the floor. "Yeah. We.
This isn't just your problem. You're my best friend, Kris."
"Huh?
Hari, you don't even like me!"
"You
saved my life. I don't forget that."
I
started to protest, and he cut me off. "No," he said sharply.
"You did. You wash out, you go back to the life of a Businessman on the
Nordic Peninsula. Hey, that's one thing; it's not so bad. I wash out, I go to
the Temp slums of San Francisco. That's something else. You saved my career,
and that's more important than my life. I'm not going to let you suffer for
it."
"Too
late," I said bitterly.
"Listen,
let's say you graduate after all. What then?"
"The
usual. Two years of Overworld freemod for acclimatization and whatever
final training I can manage; say, if I can find an adept who'll take me on as
an apprentice. Then I come back for the implant—"
The
possibility bloomed within my head, and Hari tracked its growth by the birth of
my first smile in months. He grinned in reply.
"See,
Hansen? You're still too locked into the rules, man. You're obsessed
with what you're supposed to do. What's the real issue here, being an
Actor or going to Overworld? Who says it's both or nothing?"
"I
... I ..." I couldn't think of anything to say; inside my head, my brain
rang with Hari's echoes.
Who
says it's both or nothing?
I9
The
next morning, I passed my Graduation Boards with the highest score this decade.
20
I
spent the next week or so hanging around the Conservatory, packing, making
preparations. It had been my home for three years, and it was hard to believe
I'd never see it again.
That
week, my surgical mask finally came off for the last time. Now, when I look in
the mirror, I see the alien features of a primal mage. My true face.
It
still gives me the shivers, a little.
I'm
an elf, I say to myself, over and
over again.
I'm
an elf.
I also
spent some time watching the Combat Trials. I led the wild cheers from the
Shitschool students as Hari battled his unconventional way up the ranks. He
lost in the finals, but the feral joy that showed through the blood on
his face when he congratulated the winner made him look like he was the
champion, instead.
Then
I went home for a week, to see my father and my mother, my older brothers and
my little sister, and to walk the fields of our estate, to fish, to wander
through the neighborhoods of Malmo, where I grew up. To say good-bye.
Then
I came back to the Conservatory, to write this all down and tuck it away, so
that someday it will be found, and someone—maybe my father, maybe Hari, maybe
even I myself—will read it, and understand.
Tomorrow,
I make the Winston Transfer to Overworld, on freemod. I'm crossing over
into the Promised Land. At the end of two years, I might present myself at one
of the Studio's fixed transfer points, to return to Earth and an Acting career.
And,
I might not.
A lot
can happen in those two years of freemod. Many students die. Overworld is a
dangerous place—more so for us, who know of it only secondhand. Some students
vanish, and are never seen or heard from again.
I
have a feeling that this is what will happen to me.
It's
all about Hari, you see. He's smarter than I ever gave him credit for. He was
right: I never wanted to be an Actor in the first place.
I
want to be a primal mage.
Maybe
I'm just pretending. Maybe I'm fooling myself Maybe I'll die trying.
So
what? I've faced that choice already, and I see no reason to change my mind
now.
I
can't stop thinking about the look in Chandra's eyes, the morning he started
all this. I can't stop thinking about seeing that same blank hunger behind
Ballinger's ursine glare. The link, the common thread between them—I spent days
turning it over slowly in my mind, again and again, looking at it from every
angle, trying to understand, and I couldn't quite put it together ... until I
saw the same look in my father's eyes, as the Social Police transport van
arrived with a new load of Workers for the factory.
I
mean, precisely the same: as though the same creature had worn all three
faces like a mask. My nightmares whisper of some vast, unknowable power, buried
in bedrock slumber, whose dreams reach out and don us like hand puppets. Like
masks. Like one of those mirror masks of the Social Police.
I've
been thinking about that creature a lot. At first I thought it was just a
metaphor: a myth I'd invented to solidify the way it made me feel. Now, I'm not
so sure. I think that creature wore my face, for a while: I have a
feeling that Hari saw that same abstract, impersonal hunger in my eyes there in
the weight room, the day we first met. I have a feeling that's why he hated me
on sight.
He
beat it out of me, literally—but that didn't stop me from using Ballinger as
ruthlessly, as coldly and impersonally as Chandra was using me. I used him
until he was all used up.
I
guess it's a habit. I guess it's the way the world works. That's what keeps the
gears of civilization grinding along.
But
Hari ... Well, nothing impersonal there: he hated Ballinger's guts. Maybe
that's what it's really all about, in the end. Hari and that blankly hungry
creature, maybe they're natural enemies.
With
Hari, it's always personal.
Me,
I'm going to run and hide. Hari won't; I can see it every time I look at him.
He's going to wade on in and slug it out:
It
feels strange, to write that: to admit, even to myself, that a savage,
antisocial Labor thug is a better man than I am. And there I am again: He is
not a savage, antisocial Labor thug.
Well,
he is, but that's not all he is.
I
don't think I even have the vocabulary for this. He's Hari, that's all. That's
a lot.
I
tried to be his teacher, but I learned more than I taught.
I
told Hari that Acting was stepping back into that bathroom, every day; what I
didn't tell him is that for me, a Businessman born and bred, I'm stepping into
that bathroom every time I get up in the morning. That's the inescapable
structure of life on Earth.
Use
and be used, until you're used up. It's the way the world works. This world,
anyway.
I can
hear, with my enhanced elvish ears, Hari's footfalls on the walk outside, far
down in the dormitory's courtyard. I'm saying good-bye to him, too, tonight.
We save
the most important good-byes till the last.
Good-bye
to my best friend that I never liked.
Strange
world.
I go
to a stranger one tomorrow.
I'll
look for you there, Hari. Maybe someday, twenty years from now, you'll be
sitting in an Overworld tavern, and a familiar-looking primal mage will offer
to buy you a drink. There really isn't any other way to say thanks, for saving
my soul.
I
only wish I could save yours.
What
the life you've chosen to lead will cost you, I can't begin to imagine.
I
guess the best you can hope for is not to be noticed.
She
was only a goddess part-time, but she loved her job, and she was good at it.
She went to and fro upon the earth and walked up and down in it, and where she
strode bloomed flowers and sprouted grain; when she spread her hand, the winter
was mild and the harvest bountiful, a summer storm brought showers warm and
sweet as a sunlit pond, and the spring sang of things green and growing.
The
First Folk called her Eyyallarann, the Flowmind; the stonebenders called her
Thukulg'n, the Drowner; to the treetoppers she was Ketinnasi, the Riverman; to
mankind, she was Chambaraya, the Water Father; but her name was Pallas Ril.
It
was said she had a human lover, in some far-off place; that for half the year
she took the form of mortal woman and lived in peace with her lover and her
human child. Others said her lover was himself a god, her shadow-self, a dark
angel of slaughter and destruction, and that the half of each year she spent at
his side was the world's ransom: that she paid with her body to keep him beyond
the walls of time, and preserve the peace of the good land.
As is
common with such tales, both were true; and false; and to the same degree.
The
part-time goddess had no church, no religion, no followers; she could not be
propitiated by sacrifice or summoned by invocation. She walked whither she
willed, and followed the course of her heart as though its turns were the
twists of her riverbed; she loved the land and all things in it, and all
prospered under her hand. The only prayer that might sway her was the sob of a
mother over her ill or injured child—be that mother human or primal, goshawk or
bobcat, elk or rabbit—and this only because the human part of her remembered
what it is to be a mother.
This
was probably, in the end, the real reason why she and her lover both had to
die.
For
the scent of her green and growing land troubled the slumber of another god: a
blind and nameless god, a god of dust and ashes, whose merest dream can kill.
ONE
The
severed head of a child bounced once on his mattress, then rolled against his
ribs, and Hari Michaelson began to wake.
He
groped for it, struggling upward through smothering blankets of hungover sleep.
His gummed-together eyelids parted with the slow rip of shredding meat. Layers
of dream shredded into smoke tatters, leaving behind only wisps of melancholy:
He had been dreaming of the old days again. Of his long-dead Acting career. Or
even earlier—he could not quite grasp the details, but he might have been
dreaming of his student days at the Studio Conservatory, more than twenty-five
years ago, when he was young, and strong, and full of hope. When he'd still
been riding the upward swing of his life.
He
found the foreign object on the bed, his fingers flapping blindly across it. Not
a head, of course it wasn't a head; it was a ball, that's it, just a
kid's ball, like the one he used to play rugger with, centuries ago in those
bright and happy days before his mother's death and father's breakdown. With the
abstract certainty of the dreams he shed, he knew the ball was Faith's. She'd
sneaked into the master suite, and this was her way of encouraging him to get
his lazy ass out of bed and take her to Saturday morning soccer practice.
He
rolled over and coughed a wad of phlegm out of his cottony lungs. "Abbey:
Clear th' windows," he said thickly, in a tone the housecomp would
recognize. "Get s'm fucking light in here."
Strange
ball, though, he thought fuzzily
while he waited for the windows to depolarize. Weird shape, kind of
irregular—bumpy and malformed—and the texture was strange, too, smooth and soft
over a hard surface within, almost like bone
And
what was this shit here? Hair? This ball has hair on it?
At
the same moment that he realized that the windows weren't working and no light
was entering the room, his hand found the ragged mess of bone and bloody
shreds of flesh that remained of the neck, and an oiled voice spoke Westerling
from a tall shadow at the foot of his bed. "So, Caine; it murmured with dark,
humid lust, "I hear you're crippled , now ..."
And
the head in his hand was his daughter's, and the shadow at the foot of his bed
was Berne.
The
blade of Kosall flickered like a flame in the moonlight, and Hari Michaelson's
legs would not move.
2
Hari
lay shivering beneath his tangled, sweat-soaked sheets, and hoped he hadn't
crapped himself again.
A
warm hand cupped his shoulder. "Hari, it's okay," Shanna said softly
from close by. "I'm here. Just a nightmare, that's all."
He
clenched his teeth, biting down on his courage until he could open his eyes.
She knelt beside his bed, her hair a tousled halo of deeper shadow in the
darkened bedroom, her eyes wide and almost luminous, a faint vertical crease
of concern between her brows.
"Was
I—" he started thickly, then he coughed his throat clear and tried again.
"Was it loud?"
She
nodded sadly. "Berne again?"
"Yeah."
"Those
always seem to be the worst."
"Tell
me about it." He rolled his head to the side, staring across the room at
the rumpled covers on her bed; he couldn't bring himself to look down at his
own. "Did I—is there a mess?"
"I
don't think so," Shanna said gravely. "I can't smell anything. Do you
want me to look?" She had that nurselike professional detachment in her
voice again. He hated that tone; it made his stomach knot into a sick tangle of
bile. That tone had loathing and disgust lurking just beneath the calm I'll
handle it surface.
"You'd
better," he said tightly. It hurt more to say this than it had to take the
fucking wound in the first place. "The bypass is down again."
The
neural bypass that shunted impulses around the break in his partially
regenerated spinal cord was erratic, at best; he hadn't reloaded the software
in three days, and some unexplained bugginess in the program made the bypass
shut down unexpectedly now and again. That part of the dream had been perfectly
accurate: he couldn't move his legs, couldn't feel them, or anything else below
his navel. Below the three-inch-wide scar Kosall had left in his belly, he was
dead as a butchered cow.
A
shutdown always gave him nightmares, and sometimes he woke up in a pool
of his own shit and piss that he couldn't feel, and sometimes—if he'd been
lying there long enough to numb his nose--couldn't even smell. This was the
reason Shanna no longer slept in his bed.
One
of the reasons.
"Abbey:
Room lights to one quarter," Shanna said calmly. "Execute."
The
room lit with a soft decentralized glow, and she peeled back the covers. He
made himself look. The sheets were stained only with the sweat that made his
nightclothes cling to his clammy skin-that meant the shut-down was not yet
complete; he still had control of his bowels and bladder. He gave a sigh of
relief that threatened to become a shudder. Maybe he could make it to the
bathroom before the goddamn bypass rebooted itself.
The
regeneration therapy the Studio physicians had used to treat Hari's severed
spinal cord had slightly better than a 90 percent success rate—that's what they
kept telling him. Looking at it the other way, though, meant it had a 10
percent failure rate, and that's roughly where Hari fell.
So to
speak.
Sure,
it had partially worked—he had some urinary and rectal sphincter control, and
limited sensation. But even those partial gains were sacrificed to the spinal
bypass. The bypass worked by neural induction, similar to the Studio's
first-hander chairs; when it went down, it played fuckass with everything below
his waist.
"Administrator?"
The
screen on the night table beside his bed flickered to life, casting a cold
electric glow into the bedroom, and the disembodied face of Bradlee Wing, his
father's nurse, frowned out of it. "Administrator Michaelson? Are you
all right?"
Shanna
lifted her eyebrows at him, and he nodded reluctantly. She hit the voice recept
key for him so he wouldn't have to drag himself across the bed using only his
arms.
"Yeah,
fine, Brad. I'm fine."
"I
heard you shout—"
"I
said I'm fine. Shanna's here, everything's okay."
"Want
something to help you sleep?"
Almost
half a liter of Laphroaig remained in the bottle beside the screen; the
scotch's acidic, iodine bite still lingered in the back of his throat. He saw
the expression on Shanna's face as she caught his look at the bottle, and he
turned away, scowling. "Don't bother. Just check on Dad, will you? Make
sure I didn't wake him."
"The
sedatives Laborer Michaelson takes—"
"Don't
call him Laborer Michaelson. How many times do I have to tell
you?"
"Sorry,
Administrator."
"And
don't fucking call me Administrator, either."
"Sorry—sorry,
ah, Hari. The hour—I forget, that's all."
"Yeah,
whatever. Check on him."
"Will
do, ah, Hari."
"Yeah."
The
screen faded to black.
He
couldn't quite make himself meet Shanna's eyes. "I, uh, I better go check
on Faith. If I woke up Bradlee all the way down on the first floor, I must have
scared the shit out of her."
Shanna
rose. "I'll go."
"No,
no, no," Hari insisted tiredly. "Go back to bed. My fault, my job. I
have to go reboot anyway—I'll use the hall toilet so you can sleep."
He
whistled for his wheelchair, and it whirred into his bedroom, weaving around
the furniture; the proximity sensors of its self-guidance system gave it an
animal smoothness of motion. A simple command, "Rover: Stay," locked
its wheels into place once it reached his bedside, but Hari en-gaged the manual
brakes as well. His bypass had taught him a grim distrust of microprocessors.
Shanna
slid a hand under his armpit to help him up. He lowered his head and didn't
move. "I can do it," he said.
"Oh,
Hari ..." She sounded so tired, so inexpressibly sad, as though one breath
of his name could compass each of his failures, and all of her forgiveness. It
made him grit his teeth till his ears rang. "Go to bed," he said
tightly.
"I
wish you'd let me help," she murmured, and for a moment the knots in his
heart eased, just a little.
He
covered her hand with his own. "You help every day, Shan. You're what
keeps me going, you and Faith. But you have to let me handle what I can handle,
okay?"
She
nodded silently. She leaned down and kissed him lightly on the cheek, then went
back to the bed on her side of the room. Hari watched her grimly, waiting until
she crawled back under the covers and settled in. "Good night; she said.
"Yeah.
Good night."
She
rolled onto her side, away from him, and gathered the down-filled pillow
beneath her head. "Abbey," he said, "lights out. Execute."
Safe
in the darkness, he slowly and carefully levered himself from the bed into
Rover's seat. It took both hands to move each dead-meat leg, one at a
time, into place on the footrests. He sat there for what felt like a long time,
breathing too hard, staring at his hands.
He'd
made these hands into weapons, conditioned them until they were as deadly as
any blade. In years past, he had been widely considered the finest infighter
alive. His sole reminder of those days was the crumple of knuckles broken and
rebroken, banded with faintly discolored scars.
He'd
thought he was tough, back then. Only later, when the most use he had for his
hands was shoving a glycerine suppository up his ass and manually disimpacting
his bowels, did he find out how tough he really wasn't. The first time Shanna
had heard him sobbing, and found him sitting on the toilet with shit all over
his futile fists, splattering it in child's footprints across his dead thighs
as he tried to pound some feeling, some use, back into them, he realized
that he'd been kidding himself all along.
He'd
never be tough enough for this.
After
unlocking Rover's wheels, he gripped their rims and spun the chair roughly
toward the door. He'd had a levichair a few years before, but he'd sold it;
he'd told Shanna, and his doctors, that he thought the levichair's magfield
wasn't properly shielded, and it might have been the culprit behind his
software problems. The truth was, he'd hated the fucking thing, and feared it.
Any mechanical failure, even a mild powerdown, could leave him helplessly
immobilized. At least Rover had wheels.
Which
didn't stop him from hating it, too.
The
door slid aside at his approach; he wheeled out into the hallway and turned for
Faith's room. He should have stopped by the toilet to reboot first, he knew,
but some irrational mulishness wouldn't let him be sensible about it. Even if
the worst should happen, he wouldn't make much of a mess: Rover had a urine
tube, and chemical toilet under the seat though Hari privately thought that if
he ever let himself get into the habit of using them, he'd kill himself.
The
smell . . . More than anything else, that's what he feared; the bare thought of
it closed down his throat and stung his eyes. He remembered that smell too
well: the chemical reek of illness and incontinence. It was Duncan's smell,
after his breakdown and downcaste spiral. The tiny apartment he'd shared with
his father, in San Francisco's Mission District Temp ghetto, had enclosed that
stench, concentrated it, burned it into him like a brand on the inside of his
skull. Not sharp, but thick and somehow rounded; not pungent but gooey,
filling the back of his throat like he was drowning in snot.
It smelled
like madness.
Rover's
comfort hookups were not a convenience; they were a threat. If he let himself
fall that far, if he surrendered in the way every doctor told him he had
to, if he accepted his disability and tried to accommodate it,
that smell would cling to him forever. He was afraid that he might get used to
it. He was afraid that someday he wouldn't even notice anymore.
Rover
rolled to a stop at Faith's door. Hari touched the door with the tips of three
fingers, as gently as a caress on his daughter's cheek, and it swung silently
inward a few centimeters. He whispered to the Abbey to raise the lights in the
hallway, and the house complied, slowly turning up the intensity until a spill
of light crossed Faith's bed and gleamed on her spray of golden hair.
She
lay in the boneless sprawl of childhood sleep. Hari's chest burned with a
fierce ache, and he could not shift his gaze until the slow rise and fall of
the nightshirt that covered her chest unlocked his eyes. He remembered staring
at Shanna the same way, as Pallas Ril lay bound to the altar in the Iron Room,
high atop the Dusk Tower of the Colhari Palace in Ankhana; he remembered the
relief—the flood of sanity and purpose returning to the universe—he'd felt when
he saw that she still lived.
No such
relief ever came to him in these dark nights, when he would stop by Faith's
door to stare at his daughter. The cold terror that coiled behind his eyes, the
constant expectation that one of these nights he would look in and not see
her chest rise and fall, never vanished; it was only postponed. He knew, with a
certainty that went beyond religious conviction, that she would be taken from
him. It was the most basic weave of his fate: Nothing so precious was allowed
to remain in his life.
Her
translucent skin—it seemed to glow, lit from within by the warmth of her
eyes—her hair the color of sunlight on winter wheat, the classical Nordic
regularity of her features, all carried just a hint of Shanna's Anglo heritage,
and none at all of his. She favored her real father.
Her
biological father, Hari corrected
himself. I'm her real father.
He
thought with longing of the scotch bottle on his nightstand. He should have
brought it with him. He could use a little peat-fired comfort tonight; these
postmidnight hours were a fertile earth for thoughts darker than the night
outside.
Sometimes
when he looked at Faith, he couldn't help thinking of Lamorak—of Karl. Karl
Shanks: second-rate Actor, a minor star, a goodlooking swordsman with a small
gift for thaumaturgy, at one time a pretty good friend of Hari's. Shanna's
lover. Her betrayer.
The
father of her child.
Lamorak
had betrayed Shanna, and Hari; Hari had betrayed him in turn. Had given him
over to torture.
Had
murdered him with his own hand.
He
could still feel it, even now, more than six years later, if he closed his
eyes and thought for just a moment lying on the arena sand with Kosall through
his guts, Ma'elKoth towering over him and Lamorak at his side. With Shanna's
tears trickling across his face like the opening drops of a spring shower. He
could feel the buzzing hum of Kosall's magick vibrating up his severed spine to
his teeth, when he took its hilt to activate the magick of its irresistible
edge.
He
could feel Lamorak's head slicing free of his body with the ragged zzzip of
a page being ripped from a book, as he pulled the traitor's neck against
Kosall's blade.
It's
better this way, he thought. This
thought came to him every time he considered whose child he was raising; every
time he reminded himself that Faith shared no Michaelson blood. Duncan liked to
observe, with Thomas Paine, that virtue is not hereditary; no more so would be
its opposite.
Madness,
on the other hand, runs in families.
He
briefly considered waking her—one sleepy smile from his daughter would chase
off a whole night's worth of shadows inside his head but he knew he wouldn't.
He never did. He wouldn't let himself use Faith as a drug against his black
moods.
After
one last longing look, to watch the rise of her chest, he wheeled Rover down
the hall toward his office. When these black fits took hold of his heart, work
was his only answer.
But
first
He
turned in at the guest bathroom, next door to his office. Rover's arms folded
down, and he was able to swing himself onto the toilet using the wall-mounted
rails. His pajama trousers fastened up the back with a Velcro closure, so that
he could pull them open instead of having to lower them. A four-digit code on
the belt unit slung across Rover's back shut down his bypass software, and a
single keystroke began the reboot.
As
the software that allowed him to walk reinitialized, making his legs twitch and
jerk, as his bowels and bladder spastically voided themselves, Hari
Michaelson—who had once been Caine—clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut
against the familiar tears of his private humiliation. Why can't I wake up?
Please, God—whoever might be listening. That's what I want. That's all I want.
I
want to wake up.
3
Hari
shuffled along the hall, a little unsteady on his feet. Good as the bypass was,
it would never be the same as a healthy spine; he would forever totter on
secondhand legs, operating them by remote control. For the rest of his life,
he'd be waxworks from the waist down: a numb, half-Animatronic replica of
Caine.
And
how, the cold postmidnight of the empty hallway asked him, was he supposed to
live with that?
The
way I live with everything else, he
gritted to himself for the thousandth time, or the millionth. I'll deal with
it. I'll just fucking deal.
Rover
paced him silently, its proximity sensors keeping it a precise two steps behind
and to his left; it remained in the hallway, squatting beside the door, when
Hari went into the office. Inside, he lowered himself gratefully into the
bodyform gel-filled polypropylene of his most comfortable chair and rested his
head on his hands. He felt hollow, but also somehow uncomfortably full, and
frighteningly fragile, as though his guts were stuffed with eggshells.
He
rubbed grit out of his eyes and checked his deskscreen's time readout: 0340.
His stomach twisted slowly, sending sour scotch rasping up the back of his
throat. He swallowed it again and grimaced at the lingering acid burn it left
behind. Some coffee, maybe? Maybe his life looked like shit from nothing more
than fatigue and the opening bars of a familiar hangover theme.
For a
moment, he flirted with the idea of calling Tan'elKoth, over at the Curioseum.
He could stand to talk, tonight, even with an enemy—and Tan'elKoth was hardly that,
not after all these years. They had each done things to the other that could
not be forgiven—Hari freely admitted he had done more wrong than he'd taken but
somehow it didn't seem to matter.
It's
not like he'd wake the big bastard up; Tan'elKoth hadn't slept in something
like twelve or thirteen years.
No,
goddamit. No, he told himself. I'm
not doing it. Not this time.
Calling
Tan'elKoth would be only a distraction. That's all it ever was. Whatever-peace
Hari found in the other man's company was a sham, all smoke and mirrors. It
wouldn't last an hour after they parted. There was no mystery here; Hari was
not so blind that he did not see the real reason he kept company with the
former Emperor of Ankhana: Tan'elKoth was the only man alive who treated him like
he was still Caine.
That's
something else I just gotta fucking get over.
He
swiveled his chair around to the mahogany sideboard behind his desk and keyed
the coffeemaker for a twelve-cup Yucatan brew. The machine's whirr was only
audible enough to let him know it was working as it measured out the mexiroast
beans from its refrigerated hopper, ground them, and dusted them with
cinnamon. Thick dark coffee drooled into the pitcher, so strong that the smell
alone started his caffeine buzz.
While
he waited for the pitcher to fill, he idly played with the keypad of his
deskscreen. He didn't decide to call up anything in particular, or so he told
himself, but somehow his fingers seemed to know what he needed: they entered a
long, detailed, specific code.
The dark
rectangle of his deskscreen slowly gathered a foggy greyish light: an overcast
sky. A blurred patch of brown and cream resolved into a close-up view of a man
with the face of a god. Hum and rumble from concealed speakers pulsed into the
rhythm of speech; of words, now, in a voice soft and warm and impossibly deep:
a voice that is not heard so much as felt: a subterranean vibration, the
precursor shocks to an earthquake. Hari didn't need to listen to know what
those words were; he remembered them vividly. Even as he remembered that sky,
and that face.
Ma'elKoth,
framed against the clouds that he had called above Victory Stadium, rumbled his
soothing, comforting hum: let it go, Caine. It's all right. Shh. Lie quiet
relax, and let it go .. .
Hari
stared at the wall of his office while he listened to Caine's voice whisper
from the speakers in the artificial speech of the Actor's Soliloquy. *Fuck
letting it go. *Never surrender. *Never. And he hadn't. He
hung on, still, every day. He was still fighting. He owed that much, at least,
to the man he used to be.
He
sighed and reluctantly instructed his deskscreen to link to Studionet. He spoke
the required phrases so that Studionet could verify his voiceprint; a moment
later, fully updated hardcopy charts began to scroll out of his printer. He
gathered them into his hands and shuffled through them. Hari had an innate
distrust of data that existed only electronically, on the net; this probably
came from growing up in the shadow of Duncan's lunatic libertarianism.
At one
time, Hari had possessed an extensive library of nonvirtual books, with real
cotton-and-wood-pulp pages, cardstock covers—some that dated from the
nineteenth and twentieth centuries, bound in leather-covered fiberboard, pages
edged with gold leaf. Whenever possible, Duncan had taught Hari from books, the
older the better; Duncan claimed that nothing printed after the Plague Years
could be trusted.
"The
print on the pages—it's an object, do you understand? Once it's printed,
there it is, in your hand. It can no longer be altered, or edited, or
censored—if it is, you can see it, see where it's been blacked out or
cut away. Electronic text, though, is at least half imaginary; anyone
can go in and make whatever changes they like, to suit whatever the politics of
the moment happen to be. You don't believe me? Call up anything by John Locke
on the nets. Call up anything by Abraham Lincoln. By Friedrich Nietzsche or
Meister Crowley. Compare what you see on the screen with what you find in the
old books. You'll learn."
Those
books were long gone now, of course; hundreds of thousands of marks' worth had
been sold. Some of them, too sensitive to be sold—banned works, by unperson
like Shaw, and Heinlein, and Paine—were in a sealed vault on the Sangre de
Cristo estate of Hari's Leisure Patron, Marc Vilo. Hari couldn't keep books
like that in the house, not with Duncan here.
The
commutation of Duncan's sedition sentence was conditional. At the first hint of
subversive behavior—for example, possession of banned works of literature—Soapy
would sink his teeth into Duncan's ass and drag him away, and not back into the
Mute Facility at the Buchanan Social Camp. This time, he'd be cyborged, and
sold as a Worker—and Duncan wouldn't last a week under the yoke; as ill as he
was, he wouldn't last a day.
He
remembered an argument Duncan had had with Tan'elKoth, four or five years
ago—back when Duncan still had enough fine motor control to speak aloud.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are
created equal; that they are endowed by their creator with
certain unalienable rights ..."
Hari
half smiled, remembering. Duncan had been quoting Jefferson with a high,
acid-edged screech; that meant Tan'elKoth had been baiting him again. He often
fell back on Jefferson when Tan'elKoth had boxed him into a logical corner.
Hari
could see the scene as though it unfolded once more before his eyes: Tan'elKoth
at the table in the Abbey's kitchen, his bulk dwarfing it to the size of a
child's playset. The coffee mug in his massive hand looked like an espresso
cup. He wore an immaculately tailored Professional's suit, single-breasted in a
stylish taupe, and his mane of chocolate curls was pulled back in a
conservative ponytail. He carried himself with the suave cool of a male model,
but his eyes danced with unconcealed glee: he loved tangling with Duncan.
"Self-serving
propaganda," he'd rumbled, and lifted a finger, pontificating.
"Whatever the intent of this hypothetical creator—whose mind you pretend
to know—I can tell you this: The gods have no interest in rights. There
are no rights. Or wrongs. There is only power, and weakness. I have been a god,
and I am acquainted with several more; our concern is with the structure of
survival. A human life is defined by its relationship with others: by its
duty to its species. In the face of this duty, life, liberty, and the
pursuit of happiness are meaningless. What you call individual rights are
merely the cultural fantasy of a failed civilization,"
"Fascist
bastard; Duncan had croaked happily. His eyes rolled like misshapen marbles,
but his voice was clear, and stronger than it had been in a month. "Can't
trust a fascist truth is always your first sacrifice to the welfare of the
state."
"Hmp.
As you say. If you do not wish to take my word, ask your daughter-in-law;
though she is a weak god, a flawed and failed god, she is a god nonetheless.
Ask Pallas Ril where individual rights place in her hierarchy of
concern."
"Not
gonna argue gods with you, you smug sonofabitch," Duncan had croaked.
Duncan
had been sitting up that day, his chest strapped securely to the raised back of
his convertible traveling bed, its wheels locked alongside the table where
Tan'elKoth sat. Veins bulged and twitched among the translucent scraps of
white hair that remained on his scalp; his eyes rolled, his hands trembled
uncontrollably, and a line of frothy drool trailed down from one corner of his
mouth, but he seemed mostly lucid.
Arguing
political philosophy was the only thing that had seemed to hold Duncan's
attention, even then. Before the autoimmune disorder that was progressively
eating his brain had become symptomatic, Duncan had been a professor of social
anthropology, a philologist and an authority on the cultures of Overworld. He
had always loved to argue, loved it perhaps more than anything else, including
his family.
He
had nearly ended his life under a sedition sentence in the Mute Facility of
the Buchanan Social Camp for one overpowering reason: He could not learn to
shut up.
Hari
had never been able to argue with him. He didn't have the right kind of mind to
spin political fantasies back and forth across a table. Hari had always been
too busy surviving the realities of his existence to waste time dreaming about
how things ought to be. Sometimes a week or more would pass when he
could barely get a coherent sentence out of Duncan, but somehow Tan'elKoth
always seemed able to draw Duncan up from whatever nirvana into which his
private madness had sealed him.
Duncan
had gone on, "Don't care about gods. Gods are irrelevant. What counts is people.
What counts is having respect for each other."
"I
respect what is respectable," Tan'elKoth replied. "To ask for respect
where none has been earned is childish maundering. And what is respectable, in
the end, save service? Even your idol Jefferson is, in the end, measured by how
well he served the species. The prize of individualism—
its
goal is self-actualization, which is only another name for vanity. We do not admire
men for achieving self-actualization; we admire self-actualization when its end
result is a boon to humanity."
"Huh,"
Duncan said, wiping his chin with the back of his hand. "Maybe
self-actualization is the only way to really serve humanity. Maybe it's
people like you that harm it. When you try to `serve humanity;
you end up making them into sheep. You serve them, all right: you serve them
for dinner. People eat sheep." He rolled his clouded eyes at Hari,
a distinct twinkle within them welcoming him to the table, to the discussion,
as if to say, People like you. My son, the predator.
Tan'elKoth
hummed disagreement. "Sheep are very successful, as a species. Humanity,
at least on my world, is not. Your individualism leads, inevitably, to men who
place their own desires above the welfare of others—of any others, perhaps all
others."
"Men
like Leonardo, and Mozart. Like Charlemagne and Alexander."
"Hmp.
Also," Tan'elKoth said with an air of finality, as though he had cunningly
led Duncan into an inescapable rhetorical trap, "men like Caine."
That
was when Hari had decided he was done with this conversation. "That's enough,"
he said. He set his mug down too fast and too hard; coffee slopped across
the table. "Change the subject."
"I
meant no insult—" Tan'elKoth said mildly.
"I
don't care. I'm not insulted. I'm just sick of listening to it."
Duncan
didn't seem to hear; or perhaps he heard, and chose to ignore. "Caine did
a lot of good for a lot of people—"
"Purely
by accident," Tan'elKoth interrupted.
"Aren't
you the one who doesn't believe in chance?"
"Hey,"
Hari said, louder. "Cut it
out, both of you."
Duncan
swung his strengthless head toward his son. "I'm only trying to stick up
for you, Killer," he said, a tremor leaking into his voice.
"I
don't need you to defend me, Dad; Hari told him. "I just need you to shut
up."
Deeper
clouds had gathered behind the cataracts in his father's eyes, drawing a veil
between his consciousness and the world. "Sorry ... I'm sorry . .
Sitting
now at his desk in the black morning, those last three words burned him. How
could he have said such a thing? How could he have been so childish?
And
though he might pretend otherwise, the answer was all too clear. The wound left
by the excision of Caine from his life had been too fresh, back then. He hadn't
had a chance to adjust to the granite fact that he could never, ever be
that man again. Never again would he be that strong. Never that sure.
Never
that free.
He
hadn't known, then, the source of his pain—he'd kept telling himself I got
everything I wanted I won, goddammit! What the fuck is my
problem? All he'd really understood was that he hurt all the time;
all he had was blank animal incomprehension and the social grace of a wolverine
with a toothache.
Not
long after that, Duncan's voice had gone forever. Right now, he couldn't
remember if his father had ever spoken to him again.
Hari
spent a long time staring at the hardcopy charts spread across his desk.
Gradually, he forced himself to make sense of the numbers. Christ, that's
ugly, he thought. He rearranged them, gathered them up, shuffled them, and
spread them across his desk once again. No matter in what order he stacked
them, the brutal truth was unmistakable.
He
didn't know what the fuck he was doing.
Of
the six fiscal years that he had been Chairman of the San Francisco Studio, his
Studio had lost money in four; three in a row, now, and getting worse. He had
taken the number one Studio on Earth—the flagship of the entire Adventures
Unlimited system—and he had pooched it so badly that now only the freight fees
paid by the Overworld Company were keeping it afloat.
This
is a mystery? he thought bitterly. This
was supposed to be a surprise?
He
had been given the Chairmanship—and its attendant upcasting to
Administration—as a blatant public-relations stunt, a transparent attempt to
counter the disastrous aftermath of Caine's final Adventure, For Love of
Pallas RiL The fallout of that Adventure had toppled SF's previous
Chair-man, Arturo Kollberg, and had blackened the reputation of the entire
Studio system. At the time, briefly, Hari had been the most famous man on
Earth—For Love of Pallas Ril was the single most popular Adventure in
history, setting records for both viewership and receipts that still stood,
nearly seven years later—and he could have done incalculable damage to the
industry. So they bought him off.
That's
a little too generous, Hari
thought. I wasn't bought off. I was just bought.
Bought
with the chance to live in peace with the woman he loved. Bought with the
chance to raise his daughter as an Administrator. Bought with the chance to get
to know his father again, as a man. And in return?
All
he had to do was sit down and shut up.
One
of his new colleagues, the Chairman of the St. Petersburg Studio, had put it
cogently when they first met, a couple of weeks after Hari's upcaste:
"Perhaps the most significant skill an effective Administrator ever
develops is the ability to do nothing. Knowing when not to act is vastly
more important than knowing what to do can ever be."
And
there he had it: a philosophical rationale for being a good boy, for sitting
quietly and marking days till his pension. Thus conscience does make cowards
of us all, Hari thought.
He
was strong enough to survive any given day. But when he looked down the long
bleak tunnel of the rest of his life, he saw far too many nights like this one,
sitting at his desk after 0300, staring into the cement-grey certainty that
today would be exactly like yesterday, tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
creeping in its petty pace from day to day, world without end, amen.
If he
was lucky.
Another
keystroke or two pulled up an abstract of the latest brief filed in Social
Court by lawyers for Avery Shanks. Whenever Hari was in a really shitty mood,
like tonight, he could access the growing archive of Bsn. Shanks v. Adr.
Michaelson, and brood about what would happen if Studio Legal ever dropped
the ball.
Businessman
Avery Shanks—Karl Shanks' mother, Lamorak's mother, the head of the
electronic chemicals giant SynTech—had personally filed capital Forcible
Contact Upcaste charges against Hari within days of the climax of For Love
of Pallas Ril—before Hari was even out of the hospital. She had used the
SynTech legal department as her personal attack dogs, filing and refiling,
contending that her son's caste of Professional had been only pro forma,
attendant to his employment as an Actor. SynTech lawyers continued to argue
that Karl should be considered a Businessman in the eyes of the court.
Which,
without the Studio's protection, would be enough to get Hari cyborged and sold
as a Worker.
On
his worst nights, Hari suspected that the reason the Studio hadn't quashed this
lawsuit altogether is that they planned to drop it on him like a hammer if he
ever stepped out of line.
He
closed the lawsuit archive, rustled his hardcopy charts again, straightened
them with an irritable snap, but his attention circled inevitably back .. .
Legal
fees alone could wipe him out. Shanna's income couldn't support the family by
itself, even without the costs of a court battle; she still had a fanatically
loyal core audience, but her overall receipts had been dropping for years. She
didn't even have first-handers anymore. She spent each of her twice-yearly
three-month shifts on freemod, her experiences being graved into a microcube:
an ironic echo of one of Arturo Kollberg's innovations, the Long Form.
The
experience of being a goddess has a certain charm—the seamless serenity of her
powerful connection to her entire world, the mind-bending awareness of every
living thing within the Great Chambaygen watershed, the uplifting consciousness
of boundless power perfectly controlled—but her fans had soon discovered they
could get the same effect from her cubes. Even from a single cube. Since each
day was much like another for Chambaraya, her rentals were shit. To keep
first-handers coming back, for good rentals and cube sales, you need story. Story
was exactly what Pallas Ril didn't have. She was complete; there was nothing
she could need that the river did not provide. For Chambaraya, there is no
necessity. Without necessity, all is whim.
He
shook his head to rattle his attention back to the charts in his hands. He'd
been staring at them sightlessly for he didn't know how long. The figures on
the page no longer had any meaning he could comprehend; they had become vaguely
threatening hieroglyphs, an apocalyptic prophecy in Linear A.
With
a sigh, he finally surrendered. He folded the charts once, then again, then
tucked them neatly into the disposal chute alongside his desk "Abbey: Call
out. AV," he said. "The Studio Curioseum. Private line of Tan'elKoth.
Execute."
In a
moment, the Waiting logo on the screen dissolved to a high-contrast,
discolored view of Tan'elKoth's face. "Caine. Another sleepless
night?"
"Goddammit,"
Hari said for what seemed like the millionth time, "if I have to call you
Tan'elKoth, you can fucking well call me Hari." But this protest had
become familiar, reflexive, and he could hear the insincerity that blunted its
edge.
Tan'elKoth
heard it, too. One majestic eyebrow arched, and the creases at the corners of
his eyes deepened a trifle. "Just so."
"What's
wrong with your screen? You're all orange, and the contrast is so bad it looks
like half your face is missing."
Tan'elKoth
shrugged and rubbed his eyes. "The screen is fine. I can no longer
abide reading from a monitor, and the incessant flicker of your electric lights
gives me a headache." He turned the screen so that Hari could see the
large book open on Tan'elKoth's reading desk, and the tall flame of the
oil-burning hurricane lamp that sat beside it. "But you did not rise in
these wee hours to chaff me for poor equipment maintenance."
"Yeah,"
Hari sighed. "I guess I was wondering, if you weren't too busy—"
"Busy,
Administrator? I, busy? Perish the thought. I am, as I have been for lo, these
many years, entirely at your disposal, Mr. Chairman."
"Forget
it," Hari muttered. He lacked the strength to shoulder Tan'elKoth's heavy
irony tonight. He reached for the cutoff.
"Caine,
wait," Tan'elKoth said. His
eyes shifted, and he passed a hand over his face as though he wanted to wipe
away his features and become a different man. "Please—ah, Hari forgive
my tone. I have been too long alone with bitter thoughts, and I spoke without
thinking. I would be glad of company tonight, should you wish it."
Hari
studied Tan'elKoth's image on the screen: the dark streaks beneath his eyes,
the new creases and sags of his once-perfect skin, and the downtwist at the
corners of lips that had once known only smiles. Shit, Hari thought. Do
I look as bad as he does?
"I
was thinking," Hari said slowly, "that I might brew a jug of coffee
and sail over. Feel like walking?"
Tan'elKoth's
downtwists flattened toward what might have been a smile, on somebody else. "Into
the District?"
Hari
shrugged like he didn't care, fooling neither himself nor Tan'elKoth. "I
guess. Game?"
"Of
course. I enjoy your old neighborhood; I find it stimulating. Rather like one
of your antique nature films: an ocean of tiny predators, circling each other."
He cocked his head at the screen
and spoke with the soft cheer of a man telling an off-color joke in a crowded
restaurant. "When was the last time you killed someone?"
Below
the desk, one of Hari's hands found its way to the numb, deadmeat oval of scar
tissue at the small of his back. "You should remember. You were
there."
"Mmm,
just so. But, one never knows: Perhaps tonight, we shall be lucky enough to be
attacked."
"Yeah,
maybe." If we run across a wolfpack that's stone fucking blind, Hari
thought. "All right, then. I'm on my way."
"I'll
be at the South Gate in half an hour."
"See
you there."
"Yes,
you shall—" He smiled as he
poked the cutoff. "—Caine."
Hari
shook his head and directed a disgusted snort at the dark rectangle of screen.
He hit his own cutoff and found half a smile growing on his face.
"Hari?
You never came back to bed."
He
looked up, and his smile faded away again. Shanna stood in the doorway, looking
at him reproachfully through her pillow-twisted hair. Her face wore the fading
ghosts of beatitude, a slowly dimming glow of transcendent peace: she'd been
dreaming of the river.
It
made him want to throw something at her.
"Yeah,
I—" He lowered his head and tried not to look guilty, and gestured at the
stacks of hardcopy spread across his desk. "I decided to get some work
done."
"Who
were you talking to? That was Tan'elKoth, wasn't it?"
He
lowered his eyes and stared at the fists he'd made against his legs. "You
know I wish you didn't spend so much time with—"
"Yeah,
I know," Hari interrupted. This was a familiar argument, and he
didn't feel like spinning it up again at this hour of the night. "I'm
gonna go out for a little while."
"Now?"
These days, it never seemed to take long for that transcendent peace to flush
out of her face; it was gone already. "You're going out in the middle of
the night?"
"Yeah.
I do that, sometimes." He left unsaid the And you'd know it, if you
were here with me and your daughter more than six months a goddamn year, but
it hung between them anyway, silently poisoning the air.
She
pushed back her hair with the heel of one hand, and her face had that pinched,
overcontrolled look he remembered too well, from the bad old days when they couldn't
so much as open their mouths without starting a fight.
Bad
old days? Who am I kidding? he
thought.
These
are the bad old days.
"Will
you be back in time for breakfast?" she asked; then she slipped in the
cheap shot like a knife between his ribs. "Or do I need some lie to tell
Faith about where you are?"
He
started to snarl back at her, but caught himself. Who was he to complain about
cheap shots? He let out a long, slow breath and shook his head. "No. No,
I'll be back for breakfast. Look, I'm sorry, Shanna. Sometimes, I just need
somebody to talk to—"
When
he saw the look on her face, he wished he'd bitten his tongue in half before
those last words had come out.
Her
eyes pinched almost shut, and her mouth set in a painfully thin line.
"Sometimes I still let myself hope you might want to talk to me."
"Oh,
Shanna, don't—look, I do talk to you." He did: whenever he could stand to
hear for the billionth fucking time How Easy It Is to Be Happy, if he just let
himself Flow Like the River and shit like that. He looked away so that she
wouldn't read this on his face. None of this was her fault, and he'd promised
himself over and over again he wouldn't take it out on her. "Ah, forget
it. I'm going."
He
shuffled the hardcopy into a stack and stood up. She came into the room as if
she could stop him. "I wish you'd be more careful with Tan'elKoth. You
can't trust him, Hari. He's dangerous."
He
brushed past her, careful not to touch her on his way to the door. "Yeah,
he is," he said. He added under his breath, as he walked away down the
hall, "Like I used to be."
And
behind him, with endless inanimate patience, paced Rover.
4
She
leaned on the window of his study, cooling her forehead against the glass, and
watched him go. The black teardrop of his Daimler Nighthawk followed a long,
smooth, computer-directed arc upward toward the cloud deck.
She
ached for the river.
Forty
days, she thought. That's really
just five weeks—well, six. For six weeks, I can stand anything.
Forty
days from today, at 0900 hours, her next shift as the goddess would begin. At
0830 she would snug the respirator and lower herself into the freemod coffin
and lock down its lid; she'd lie motionless on the gelcot for the endless
minutes of mass balancing—the freemod transfer requires an extremely precise
exchange of mass/energy between the universes—and for those slow-ticking
seconds she would hang in delicious anticipation, awaiting the mind-twisting
soundless thunderclap of freemod transfer. Awaiting the first notes of
Chambaraya's Song: the deep, slow hymn of welcome that would fill her heart and
draw forth her answering melody. Twice a year, for three months at a time, she
could be part of the river.
Twice
a year, she could be whole.
She'd
never told Hari how she longed for that music; she'd never told him how empty
and stale Earth had become for her. She loved him too much to tell him how
painful it was to be alone inside her head. Can't you see? her heart
cried to the departing arc of his car.
Can't
you see how lonely I am?
Slow
tears rolled down her cheeks. How could she live, with nothing inside her but
memory and hope?
"Mommy?"
Faith's voice came tentatively from behind her. "Mommy, are you all
right?"
Shanna
pushed herself away from the window. She didn't bother to wipe away her tears;
the intimate bond she shared with Faith for half of each year made lying
impossible. "No," she said. "No, I'm sad today."
"Me,
too." Faith knuckled her eyes as she slowly came into the study. Shanna
met her and picked her up, straightening Faith's pajamas and brushing the
fine-spun golden hair back from her face. Faith sighed and laid her cheek
against Shanna's shoulder. "You miss the river, huh?"
Shanna
nodded silently. She sat back down on the window seat and held Faith on her
lap; she looked out toward the orange-underlit gloom of the cloud deck.
"Me,
too," Faith said solemnly. "I miss the music. It's always so quiet
when you're home—sometimes I get a little scared."
Shanna
hugged her daughter tightly, intimately aware of how small and fragile she was,
holding her small head against her shoulder. The physical contact was only a
poor echo, though, of the intimacy and love they could share when connected by
the river. Faith had been born nine months—almost to the day—after her battle
at the Ankhanan docks, The cells that would someday become her daughter had
been already riding in her womb, that first time she'd ever touched the river
and joined its Song.
Faith
had been brushed with power at the apotheosis of Pallas Ril.
"I
miss you when you're here," Faith said. "It's pretty lonely, without
the music. But Daddy needs you, too."
"Yes,"
Shanna said. "Yes, I know."
"Is
that what happened? Were you and Daddy fighting?"
"No,
we weren't fighting. No one fights with your father anymore," Shanna said
hopelessly. She looked out toward the swell of cloud where the Nighthawk had
disappeared. "I think that's most of the problem."
5
The
tenement sagged under the weight of two hundred years' neglect. Its
smog-blackened walls gave back almost none of the glow from the single cracked
streetlight outside: a vacant, slightly lopsided rectangle, it loomed against
the overcast night, a window into oblivion.
Hari
stood on the crumbling pavement, staring up into the alley be-hind, at the spot
where he knew his window still was: 3F, third floor in the back, farthest from
the stairwell. Three rooms and one walk-in closet barely big enough for an
eight-year-old boy to have a cot. That tiny closet had been his room until a
month after his sixteenth birthday.
And
that window, which could be pried open silently if he worked at it carefully
enough: with better light—or younger eyes—he was sure he'd be able to pick out
rope scars on the ancient aluminum windowsill.
He
could still feel the coil of that rope pressing against his ribs from its
hiding place between his thin camp mattress and the steel slats of the cot
frame. That coil of rope had saved his life dozens of times; sometimes his only
chance to escape Duncan's intermittent homicidal rages had been to lock the
door of his room and slip out that window, lower himself to the street. Down
here among the whores and the addicts and the prowling sexual predators he had
been closer to safe than anywhere within his father's reach.
Closer
to safe than breathing that apartment's stink of madness into his lungs.
"I
once thought," Tan'elKoth said beside his shoulder, "that I
understood why we come here. I believed that you come to remind yourself what
an extraordinary journey your life has been. From here, one can see both where
you began—" He nodded at the tenement, then turned to regard the spire of
San Francisco Studio Central, only three kilometers away. "—and the
pinnacle which you have achieved. The contrast is, not to put too fine a point
on it, astonishing. Yet it seems to give you no satisfaction."
Hari
didn't need to look at Tan'elKoth to know the expression he'd be wearing: a
mask of polite interest that half concealed a savage hunger. The ex-Emperor had
an interest both intense and abiding in anything that might cause Hari pain.
Hari didn't grudge that interest; he'd earned it.
"That's
not why I come here; he said heavily.
He
looked around at the crumbling buildings that leaned over the broken pavement;
at the darkened basement bars on every corner, filled with loud music and
restlessly still people; at the food bank, where empty-eyed men and women with
silent children were already queuing up for the breakfast that was still two
hours away. Not far away, a rumpled mound of tattered clothing moved slightly,
revealing a ragface in the final stages of his long descent: his eyes rolled
sightlessly, blind with methanol poisoning, his nose and part of his upper lip
rotted into oozing open wounds. The ragface opened a plastic bag to pull out
his dirty wad of fuel-laced handkerchief and pressed it to his mouth,
shuddering deeply as he inhaled.
Hari
lifted a hand, dropped it again: a brief hopeless flick that encompassed the
entire Mission District. "Sometimes I have to remind myself it's a long
fucking way down."
An
old, old punchline whispered in the back of his head, bitter and unfunny: The
fall ain't so bad—the problem's that sudden stop at the bottom .. .
"You
are considering a leap?" Tan'elKoth said slowly.
Hari
shrugged and started walking again. Rover hummed along in the street behind
him, keeping its robotic two-pace distance.
Tan'elKoth
swung alongside with the ponderous majesty of a battle cruiser at half speed.
"And this is why you bring me here? Do you hope that I hate you enough to
convince you to jump?"
"Don't
you?" He squinted up at the enormous man beside him. Tan'elKoth wore the cable-knit
sweater and chinos of a casually stylish Professional, and his dark mane was
pulled back in a conservative ponytail. Middle age was softening his jawline
toward a curve of jowl, but he still had the titanic build of the god he had
once been. The metallic straps of the ammod harness that he wore over his
sweater gleamed like armor under the streetlight. It was easy to imagine that
the pavement would tremble beneath his step.
"Of
course I do," Tan'elKoth said easily. They ambled along another block,
passing from shadow to light to shadow again, sharing a companionable silence.
"I
have dreamed your death, Caine," he said finally. "I have lusted for
it as the damned in your Christian hell lust for oblivion. Your death would not
give me back my Empire, would not return to me the love of my Children, but it
would ease—if only for the few seconds that I crush your life between my
fingers—the suffering of my exile."
He
lowered his head as though to examine the sidewalk. "But: once done, I
would be bereft. I have nothing else of which to dream."
Hari
sidestepped a pair of drunks who leaned on each other as they tried to decide
whether to go indoors or pass out here on the street; Tan'elKoth shouldered
them effortlessly out of the way. They shouted something slurred and angry.
Hari and Tan'elKoth kept walking. "And further," Tan'elKoth murmured,
"I confess that I would miss you."
"You
would?"
"Sadly,
yes." He sighed. "I find myself living more and more upon memories of
the past. They are the sole comfort of my captivity. You are the only person
with whom I share those memories; you are the only man alive who truly
remembers—who truly appreciates—what I once was." He spread his
hand in a gesture of resignation. "Maudlin, isn't it? What a revolting
creature I have become."
This
cut a little too close to the bone for Hari's comfort; he walked on without
speaking for a block or two. "Don't you—" he began slowly, then
started again. "You ever think about going back?"
"Of
course. My home is never far from my thoughts; Ankhana is the land of my birth,
and of my rebirth. The bitterest wound that life has inflicted upon me is the
knowledge that I will never taste that wind, never warm my face with that
sun, never stand upon that earth, ever again. I could leave this life a happy
man, if only my last breath might be of Ankhanan air."
Tan'elKoth
lifted his massive shoulders and dropped them again. "But that is an empty
fantasy. Even if your masters would allow such a thing, the Beloved Children
have no need of me; I am of greater value to the Church as a symbol than I
could be as a personal god. And that god still exists: The power of Ma'elKoth
is a function of the pooled devotion of my worshipers. Priests of Ma'elKoth
still channel the power to perform miracles by praying to my image—I should
say, His, for He and I are no longer coextensive."
He
released a long, slow sigh, empty of all feeling save loss. "I cannot
pretend that the world fails to turn for lack of my hand upon it."
Hari
nodded. "Shit just turns out that way sometimes," he said. "You
should be used to it by now."
"Should
I?" Tan'elKoth came to a halt; he appeared to study the urine-stained wall
at his side. "And how is it that I should find my defeat more tolerable
than you have your victory?"
Hari
snorted. "That's easy: you can blame it on me," he said. "Who do
I blame?"
Chocolate
brows canted upward over his enormous liquid eyes as Tan'elKoth considered
this. "Mm, just so," he admitted at last, nodding to himself with a
rueful half smile. "It is a curiously consistent characteristic of yours,
Caine, that you always seem to be just a bit smarter than I anticipate."
"Yeah,
sure. I'm a genius with a capital J."
Tan'elKoth
laid one finger alongside the bend in his nose where Caine had broken it: the
only flaw in his classically perfect features. "Do you know why I have
never had this repaired?" he asked. He opened his hand as though releasing
a butterfly. "For the same reason that I changed my name."
Hari
squinted at him again, narrowing his eyes to overlay his vision with the memory
of this man as he'd been in the days he had ruled the Ankhanan Empire, as
Emperor and living god. In those days, he had called himself Ma'elKoth, a
phrase in Paquli that translates, roughly, as I Am Limitless. Ma, in
Paquli, is the present nominative case of to be; tan is its past tense.
I
Was Limitless.
"So
that every time I hear my name—every time I see my reflection—" Tan'elKoth
continued, "I am reminded of the penalty for underestimating you."
His
tone was distantly precise. Well rehearsed. More and more, during these
Earthbound years, Tan'elKoth seemed to be talking for someone else's benefit—as
though he was playing to an audience that existed only in his mind.
Hari
grunted. "Flatterer."
"Mmm.
Perhaps."
"Is
that why you've never Made a try for me?"
Tan'elKoth
began walking again. "Revenge is an occupation of inferior minds," he
said meditatively. "It is the shibboleth of spiritual poverty."
"That's not an answer."
Tan'elKoth
only shrugged and walked on. After a moment, Hari followed him. "Perhaps I
have not destroyed you," the ex-Emperor murmured, "because it is more
enjoyable to watch you destroy yourself."
"That's
about right," Han said with a snort. "Everything I've done my whole
life has been somebody's entertainment."
Tan'elKoth
hummed a neutral agreement.
Hari
rubbed the back of his neck, but his fingers couldn't loosen the knots that had
tied themselves there. "Maybe that's part of what's so hard to take, at
the end of the day. I've done a lot of shifty things in my life. I've done some
pretty good things. But when you come right down to it, none of that matters.
Everything I've done, everything that's been done to me—win, lose, love, hate;
who gives a fuck?—it all only counts as far as it helps some bastard I've never
met while away a couple idle hours."
"We
are indeed a pair," Tan'elKoth mused. "Our wars long fought, our
glories passed. Is it truly that your life was mere entertainment which
troubles you—or is it that your life is no longer so entertaining?"
"Hey,
that reminds me," Hari said. "I don't think I've invited you lately
to go fuck yourself."
Tan'elKoth
smiled indulgently. "I wept because I had no shoes, until I met a man who
had no feet." He nodded down the sidewalk, at a ragged legless beggar dozing
in his ancient manual wheelchair. "Consider this man: I have no doubt he
would give tip his very hope of the afterlife to walk—even so badly as you
walk—for one single day."
"So?"
Hari said. "So he's more crippled than I am. So what?" Tan'elKoth's smile
turned cold. "You have a much nicer wheelchair." "Oh,
sure," Hari said. He grunted a bitter laugh. "Rover's a real
treat." "Rover?" Tan'elKoth said. One eyebrow arched more
steeply. "You gave a name to your wheelchair? I hadn't thought you the
type."
Hari
shrugged irritably. "It's a command code, that's all. It lets the
voice-control software know I'm talking to it."
"And
Rover is a dog's name, is it not? Like Faithful—mm, Fido?"
"It's
not a dog's name," Hari said, disgusted with himself. "It's a joke,
that's all. It started as a bad joke, and I just never bothered to change
it." "I don't see the humor."
"Yeah,
me neither." He shrugged dismissively. "I know you don't watch a lot
of net. You know anything about twentieth-century serial photoplays?"
"Little,
save that they tend to be infantile."
"Well,
there was one called The Prisoner. Ever hear of it?"
Tan'elKoth
shook his head.
"It's kind of too complicated to really
explain," Hari said. "Rover was a very efficient prison guard. That's
all."
"Mmm,"
Tan'elKoth mused. "I think I see—"
"Don't
go wise and philosophical on me—every time you pull that shit, I start to
regret I didn't kill you when I had the chance."
"Just
so." Tan'elKoth sighed. "Sometimes I do, too."
Hari
looked at him, trying to think of something to say; after a moment, he just
nodded and started walking again, and Tan'elKoth fell in at his side.
They
walked together in silence for some time.
"I
suppose ... the actual question is, What, in the end, does one want?"
Tan'elKoth asked finally. "Do we want to become happy with the lives we
have, or do we want to change our lives—into lives with which we will be
happy? After all, to content yourself with your current situation is a simple
matter of serotonin balance: it can be accomplished by medication."
"Drugs
won't change anything but my attitude." Hari shrugged, dismissing the
idea. "And changing? My whole life? This was what I was fighting for."
"Was
it?"
"I
won, goddammit. I beat Kollberg. I beat you. I got everything I
goddamn wanted: fame, wealth, power. Shit, I even got the girl."
"The
problem with happy endings," Tan'elKoth said, "is that nothing is
ever truly over."
"Fuck
that," Hari said. "I am living happily ever goddamn after. I am."
"Ah,
I see: It is happiness which has brought you to these streets, at this
hour, with me," Tan'elKoth murmured. "I have always supposed living
happily ever after at four A.M. would somehow involve lying in bed, asleep,
with one's wife."
Hari
looked at the filthy pavement beneath his feet. "It's just . . . I don't
know. Sometimes, y'know, late at night ..." He shook his head, driving
away the thought. He took a slow breath, and shrugged. "I guess I'm
not handling getting old so well, that's all. This is . Ahh, fuck it.
Midlife crisis bullshit."
Tan'elKoth
stood silently at Hari's side, motionless, until Hari looked up and found the
ex-Emperor staring at him like he'd bitten into something rotten that he
couldn't spit out. "Is this the name you give to your despair? Midlife
crisis bullshit?"
"Yeah,
all right, whatever. Call it whatever the fuck you want—"
"Stop,"
Tan'elKoth rumbled. He put a hand the size of a cave bear's paw on Hari's
shoulder and gave him a squeeze that stopped just short of crushing bone.
"You cannot trivialize your pain with nomenclature. You forget to
whom you speak, Caine."
Tan'elKoth's
gaze smoked; it held Hari as tight as his smothering grip did. "In this
way, we are brothers; I have felt what you feel, and we both know that no mere
word can compass and contain this injury. We are wounded, you and
I: with a hurt that time cannot heal. Like a cancer, like gangrene, it grows
worse with each passing hour. It is killing us."
Hari
lowered his head. The pain in his chest allowed him no answer; he could only
stare, grip-jawed and silent, at the faint bands of soft color across his
knuckles.
Drunken
voices slurred from behind them, "Hey, you flickers! Hey, shitheads!"
Hari
and Tan'elKoth turned to find two men lurching toward them along the street:
the pair of drunks Tan'elKoth had shouldered off the sidewalk. As they wove
unsteadily through a pool of mercury-argon lampglow, Hari could see the length
of pipe in one's hand. In the hand of the other, two decimeters of blade
gleamed steel-bright.
"Who
th'fuck y'think y'are?" the one with the knife asked owlishly; he turned
his head from side to side as though searching for an angle that might clear
his vision. "Who y'think y'r shovin'?"
The
knife guy was in the lead; Hari took one step forward to intercept him. He
could read this bastard like a street sign. The knife was for show—for
intimidation, for self-respect: eight inches of steel penis, bright and hard.
Hari
saw three ways he could settle this right down. He could apologize, maybe buy
them a drink, cool them off a little, let them feel like they mattered—that's
all they really wanted. Or he could pull out his palmpad and key the Social
Police, then point out to these guys that he's an Administrator and
Tan'elKoth's a Professional, and they were looking at life under the yoke if
they didn't back off. Simplest would be just to tell them who he was. Laborers
are as celebrity-struck as anybody else, and unexpectedly meeting Caine himself
on the street would dazzle them.
Instead,
he angled the right side of his body slightly away from the guy, presenting
about a three-quarter profile, his hands boneless at his sides, a bright tingle
beginning to sizzle along his nerves. "Y'know, you shouldn't pull a knife
unless you're gonna use it."
"Who
says I'm not planning to—"
Hari
leaned into a lunge, his left hand becoming a backfist as it blurred through a
short arc from his thigh to the guy's nose. It struck with a wet whack like
the snap of a soaked towel, and tilted the drunk's head back to the perfect
angle for Hari's right cross to take him precisely on the point of the chin.
Hari
staggered a little, grimacing—his bypass's secondhand footwork left him off
balance, open for a countering slash of the knife—but it didn't matter: the
drunk fell backward like a toppling pole and stretched his length on the
pavement.
"It's
not about what you're planning," Hari said.
Both
his fists burned and stung.
It
was a good pain, and he welcomed it.
"Fuck
my mother," the other drunk breathed, the pipe hanging forgotten by
his side. "You—I know you you are, aren't you? I mean, aren't you Caine?"
"I
used to be; Hari said.
"I'm
a big fan—"
"Thanks.
Take a fucking hike."
"No,
I mean it, I really am—"
"I
believe you. Now get out of here before I kill you."
The
drunk stumbled off, muttering to himself, "Shit, holy shit, holy son of a
motherfucking shit ..."
Tan'elKoth
nodded down at the man who lay on the street. "Is he dead?"
"Maybe."
Hari shrugged. "Probably not."
Hari's
combat rush faded as fast as it had risen, leaving him bleak and bitter and
slightly sick. His hands throbbed and his mouth tasted of coffee grounds. So, here
I am, thirty years later: still beating up drunks in the Mission District.
Why
not just go ahead and roll him for loose change?
"You
asked me what I want. I can tell you ..." Hari said slowly. "I can
tell you exactly what I want."
He
nudged the drunk with his toe, not even really seeing the man anymore; in this
drunken, bleeding Laborer lying in the street, his face busted up because he
was too stupid to back off, he was looking at himself
"I
want to find out who it is that keeps reaching down into my life
and turning everything I touch into shit," Hari said. "I want to
meet him. I'm not asking for much: I want to share a little bit of pain
with him, that's all." He pressed his fists against his legs, and said
through his teeth, "I want to get my hands on the
motherfucker."
"Mm.
This is a dream I can share with you, Caine." Once again, Tan'elKoth laid
his hand across Hari's shoulder like a blanket, and through that physical
connection sparked a current of understanding.
Hari
pulled away.
Tan'elKoth
kept his hand in the air, turning it over as though to read his own palm. He
loomed over Hari, blank, impenetrable, inhumanly solid: a sarsen stone outlined
against the dawn-lit clouds above.
"Be
careful for what you wish," he said softly. "A very wise man of your
world has observed that when the gods would punish us, they answer our
prayers."
The
god of dust and ashes had slept for an age, fitful in slow, infinite
starvation, restlessly gnawing on the bleak cinder that had been its world.
Though
the god slumbered, its merest dream maintained its dominion, for it was
attended by priests who never guessed at its existence. It had a church that
did not seem to be a church, had a religion that did not know it was a
religion, and had followers that prayed to other gods, or to no god at all.
Years passed while it awakened—but when it finally roused, men leaped to serve
it, though they thought they served only themselves.
For
this is the power of the god of dust and ashes: to weave the lives of its
followers so that the fabric thus created has a pattern none of them intend.
Two.
As
the crisp late-summer afternoon faded to evening, the shadow of the God's Teeth
mountains stretched to the east and swallowed first the mines, erasing their
billowing towers of smoke, then wiped across the Northwest Road and engulfed
Thorncleft, the tiny Transdeian capital city.
The
Monastic Ambassador to Transdeia, a young man the world named Raithe of Ankhana,
sat in a straight-backed, unadorned, unpadded, and exceptionally uncomfortable
chair, staring out at the shadow's grope with blank unseeing eyes.
Most
unsettling, those eyes were: the pale blue grey of winter ice, set in a face as
dark and leathery as that of a Korish desert tribesman. The startling contrast
made his stare a disturbing, almost dangerous thing; few men could bear to
match his gaze. Fewer still would care to try, if they knew just how deeply
those pale eyes could see.
Late
in the afternoon, five elves, had come to Thorncleft. Raithe had seen them
first from this very window: dusty, in clothing travel-worn and stained,
mounted on horses whose ribs showed even under their mantles of green and
black. Those mantles had been embroidered with the star-browed raven that was
the standard of House Mithondionne.
Raithe
had stared at them, memorizing every discernable curve of shoulder and tangle
of hair, every faded patch where the sun had bleached color from their linen
surcoats, all the details of posture and gesture that made each of them
individual, as the elves walked their horses up highsloping Tor Street. He had
stepped from the shadow of the half-built Monastic embassy into the street,
shielding his eyes against the lowering sun, had watched them answer the
challenge at the vaulted gate of Thorn-keep, had watched as the gate swung wide
and the elves led their horses within.
Then
he went back into the embassy, into his office, and sat in this chair so that
he could see them more clearly.
He
held himself perfectly erect and controlled his breathing, timing it by the
subtle beats of his own heart: six beats in, hold for three, nine beats out,
hold for three. As his heart slowed, so did the cycle of his breath. He built
their image in the eye of his mind, drawing details of their backs from his
trained memory, since their backs were what he had seen most clearly: a spray
of platinum hair pricked through by the barest hint of pointed ears, a diagonal
leather thong to support a waterskin, the inhuman grace of stance, the way
shoulders move when hands swing in small, light gestures.
Slowly,
slowly, with infinite patience, he fed details into the image: the dark curls
hand-tooled into their belts, the lace of scar tissue across one's forearm, the
sideways duck of another's head as he whispered to one of his companions. These
were details he had not seen, could not have seen; these were details that he
created in his powerful imagination. Yet as he refined them, and brought them
more vividly before his mind's eye, they became plastic, shifted, and finally
organized into plain, visible truth.
Now
ghosts of their surroundings materialized in his mind: the marble floor, deeply
worn but highly polished, on which their boots made almost no sound, the long
tongue of pale blue carpet that entered the doorway before them. He got a vague
sense of huge, high-vaulted space, oaken beams blackened by years of smoldering
torches below.
He
hummed satisfaction under his breath. This would be the Hall of State.
He
had been inside that hall many times in the few months since he'd been posted
here from Ankhana; using his recollection of the details of the hall brought
the scene inside it into sharper and more brilliant focus than he could have
seen with the eyes of his body—from the glittering steel of the ceremonial
weapons that bedizened the walls to the precise color of the sunlight that
struggled through the smoke-darkened windows. There before the elves was the
Gilt Throne, and upon it lounged Transdeia's lazy, spineless puppet lord:
Kithin, fourteenth Duke of Thorncleft. Raithe could see even the stitching on
Duke Kithin's shirt of maroon and gold; with that as a mental anchor, he swung
his perception to see the room as Kithin saw it. Now, for the first time, he
could get a good look at the faces of the elves.
He
didn't trouble to study these faces too closely; elvish features lack the
creases that time and care paint upon human physiognomy, and thus reveal
nothing of their character. Elves, in Raithe's experience, looked very much
alike.
He
was rather more interested in what had brought them to Thorn-cleft, and so he
studied the silent motions of lips and tongue; though he spoke little Primal,
they would be conversing in Westerling for the benefit of Duke Kithin, and
lipreading is easy, when practiced through the pristine vision of his mindeye.
His
mindeye had always been one of his most useful talents.
Raithe
had been only a boy when he'd discovered his gift thirteen years old, barely
into adolescence. One golden morning he had lain in bed, in his room above his
father's tiny smithy, slowly awakening from a dream. In the dream, he'd kissed
Dala, the raven-haired sixteen-year-old girl who sold sticky buns on the corner
of Tanner and the Angle; as he lay in bed fingering the erection this dream had
given him, he'd imagined her rising for the morning and pulling her nightdress
off over her head, imagined her round, swelling breasts bouncing free, her
nipples hardening as she splashed herself with water from the pitcher beside
her bed. In his mind, he saw her stand naked before the mirror, braiding her
hair in a new way, coiling it into a gleaming black helmet instead of the long
strands she usually allowed to trail down her back; he imagined that she chose
her oldest blouse to wear that day, the one he loved the best, its fabric so
worn and supple that it clung to her curves and gave a hint of the dark circles
of her nipples.
Sheer
fantasy, of course: the vivid daydreams of an imaginative boy in lust.
But
when he'd gone that morning to buy buns for his father's dinner, blushing so
that he hardly dared even to look at her, he'd found that she was wearing that
very blouse, and she had chosen that morning to coil her hair up in a new
style, tight and shining around her head—exactly as he had imagined it.
That
had been Raithe's first hint that he was destined for greatness.
Mastering
his gift had not come easily. In the days and weeks that followed, as he spied
on Dala's naked body at every opportunity, he found that his vivid imagination
was more hindrance than help. Too often, his mental image of her would lift
hands to breasts, to fondle and squeeze them as he wanted to do. Too often, he
would fantasize one hand creeping down to the silky nest between her legs ...
and the vision would scatter into the random eyelights of total darkness. He
discovered that clear imaging required a certain coldness of mind, a
detachment; otherwise, his sight became murky, clouded with his own desires,
with ghosts of wish-fulfilling fantasies.
Those
wish-fulfilling fantasies had a power of their own, though, as he discovered
one day when Dala met his eye with a shy smile, when he gazed at her while he
held a perfectly formed mental image of their naked limbs entwined in a tangle
of sheets—and she reached out, took his hand, and led him to her room on a
clear, hot summer's afternoon, and took his virginity with exactly that same
shy smile.
That
had been the sweet brush of his destiny's lips, as well.
He'd
entered his novitiate at fourteen, using the advanced education available only
at the Monastic Embassy to sharpen his powers; the Esoteric training of both
body and mind gave him the self-discipline to ruthlessly strangle those desires
that crippled his gift. Now he used his mind as another friar might wield a
sword: as a weapon, sworn in the service of the Human Future.
At
twenty-five, he was the youngest full Ambassador in the Monasteries'
six-hundred-year history—and not even the Council of Brothers could guess how
much their decision might have been influenced by the subtle power of a young
friar's dreams.
Now
in Thorncleft a haze began to obscure his vision, as though he peered through a
twisty veil of gauze, while the great doors of the hall swung wide and in
marched a double column of the Artan Guards, their curious springless pellet
bows held at ready aslant their scarlet-armored chests. They spread out into
the wide arc of an honor guard.
The
elves gazed at them with bald curiosity, not yet aware of their import. Lord
Kithin, for his part, sprang hastily from the Gilt Throne and dropped to one
knee, inclining his head to welcome the Artan Viceroy, Vinson Garrette. Lord
Kithin could be trusted only to handle situations of purely ceremonial nature.
No business of import could be conducted in Transdeia without the presence of
the representative of this land's true rulers.
Raithe's
heart began to pound.
Garrette
seemed to speak cordially to the elves as he walked among them. Raithe felt a
surge of anger at the mental haze that prevented him from fully experiencing
the meeting—if he could only hear what Garrette said, perhaps he could
understand the import of these legates. He burned for that understanding.
With
a need as sharp and immediate as hunger to a starving man, he ached to
understand where, in all this, was the connection to Caine.
But
his sudden swell of desire ruptured his concentration and scattered his vision;
now he saw only the view from this window in the half-completed embassy. He
snarled at himself, then shut his eyes, laid his hand across them, and forced
himself to concentrate once more. He slowed his breathing, a measured count of
nine to inhale, hold for three, exhale for twelve, and the Hall of State began
to coalesce once more inside his skull.
"Headache,
Master Ambassador?" asked a greasily solicitous voice nearby. "Would
you like a cup of willowbark tea? I'm having one."
Raithe's
view of the hall vanished as he opened his eyes and glared at Ptolan, the
fledgling embassy's Master Householder, a fat and perpetually befuddled
Exoteric who seemed perfectly content to pass his fading years humming
tunelessly to himself and tending the last few strands of his unruly
steel-spring hair. Nolan stood in the archway, not too far from the small iron
stove he kept lit beside his desk for warmth—his sluggish nature made even this
late summer afternoon too chill for his sagging, repellently pale flesh. He
smiled at Raithe expectantly as he poured water into a teapot from a small
brass carafe.
"Thank
you," Raithe said icily, "no."
"It'll
put a little color in your cheeks," Ptolan said, in what the fat fool must
have imagined was an encouraging tone. His own cheeks sported blotches red as a
whore's mouth. "Two brew as easy as one, y'know. It's a, well, a sharing,
y'know? Brotherhood and all that. I know you began as an Esoteric, but we in
the public services do things a bit differently ..."
Instead
of a reply, Raithe gave him a chilly stare—one of those steady bleached-out
gazes that he used to intimidate weaker men. Ptolan swallowed and looked away,
chuckling nervously in the back of his throat. "Please yourself, haha, you
usually do, I suppose. I'll, ah, I'll just-" He rubbed his hands together,
and chuckled some more. "I'll just, ah, go ahead for two, and if you
change your mind—"
"Don't
bother—" Raithe began.
"Oh,
it's no bother—"
"I
was saying—" He bared his teeth. "—don't bother me."
He
set his head against the uncomfortable scrollwork of the chair's high back and
shut his eyes. "Go away."
For a
brutally long moment, the only image he could summon was of Ptolan standing in
the archway, his slack thick-lipped mouth opening and closing with the
soundless dismay of a hungry chick. Then hesitant footfalls faded toward the
outer chamber, and Raithe regulated his breathing; soon, the interior of the
Hall of State took hazy shape once more.
Though
Garrette stood beside the Gilt Throne, where Lord Kithin sat, there was no
question as to who was the true ruler of Transdeia. The Artan Viceroy projected
a calm authority that was unmistakable; Lord Kithin himself never spoke without
first glancing to Garrette to search his long gaunt face for any sign of
disapproval.
Still
Raithe's concentration was too scattered to pick up their words, but his hazy
perception of Garrette's face let him read one word from the Viceroy's lips: Diamondwell.
Raithe
nodded to himself and let his vision dissolve into a random scattering of
eyelights. So the Mithondionne legates had come about Diamondwell; he had
warned Garrette that Mithondion would respond—all subs stick together, in the
end—but the Viceroy had firmly refused to worry about that possibility until it
presented itself.
Diamondwell
had been a dwarfish reservation in the Transdeian hills that had styled itself,
with typical subhuman arrogance, as a "freehold." The trouble had
begun nearly a year ago—before Raithe had been posted here as Ambassador—when
the dwarfs' children and elderly began to fall ill. Having been born and bred
to mining, the dwarfs had soon recognized the symptoms of metals poisoning.
Viceroy Garrette himself had generously—overgenerously, in Raithe's considered
opinion—ordered an investigation, using Artan resources to find the cause. When
this cause turned out to be runoff from Artan smelters leaching into the
Diamondwell groundwater, Garrette—again overgenerously—had offered to resettle
the dwarfs in a new reservation, higher in the mountains and farther away from
the Artan mining operations.
The
dwarfs had refused, citing some sentimentalized twaddle about their ancestral
lands. They had instead chosen, foolishly, to begin a guerrilla campaign of
sabotage against the Artan mining machinery and smelting plants, hoping to make
mining and smelting in those hills so expensive that the Artans would move their
operations, instead. They had failed in the most basic principle of warfare: Know
your enemy.
Artan
military technology was even more advanced than their mining technology; to
march into Diamondwell and arrest the entire population turned out to be much
less expensive than moving the mining operations would have been. Those who
came peacefully had been rewarded with tasks in the mines, clean food and
water, and comfortable cots on which to rest; those who resisted had been
slaughtered like the animals they were.
It
had been a messy situation, one that Raithe privately believed could have been
much more simply resolved: merely adding a more potent poison to the
Diamondwell groundwater would have settled the issue with great swiftness and
economy. Garrette's pretense of good nature and helpfulness, the facade of
concern for the dwarfs' troubles he had presented, had only made the situation
worse: it had emboldened the dwarfs, and allowed them to wreak considerable
havoc upon the mines before they were finally contained.
Raithe
imagined that something similar was going on in the Hall of State even now.
Garrette was probably hemming and hawing, trying to allay any suspicions the
elvish legates had developed; he couldn't understand how much trouble he
was already in. He had no conception of the power that Mithondion still could
wield if a war should come—of course, conversely, neither did the Mithondionne
elves have any idea of the power of the Artan rulers of Transdeia.
It
seemed to Raithe that there was a vast opportunity here—but opportunity for
what, and how should he approach grasping it?
Once
he understood how all this related to Caine, he would know what to do.
2
Anyone
who is of a thoughtful, philosophical cast of mind will occasionally be struck
by the appearance of certain organizing principles of history. The form these
principles seem to take inevitably depends upon one's specific obsession. For a
monarchist, history might be a story of the clash of great leaders; for a
socialist, history is a struggle of classes in economic civil war. An
agriculturalist sees the dynamic of populations, land, and availability of
food; a philosopher might speak of the will to power or the will to synthesis;
a theologian of the will of God. Raithe was not by nature a thoughtful man, but
the events of his time had conspired to make him aware of one of these vast
organizing principles, one so powerfully obvious that he was consistently
amazed that no one but him seemed aware of it.
A
lifetime ago—when he had been a young, hopeful, passionately dedicated friar,
just entering the Esoteric Service in Ankhana—that governing principle of
history had intervened and shattered Raithe like overfired pottery. Piece by
piece, he had rebuilt—reforged--himself, but the man who emerged from that
crucible was no longer Raithe of Ankhana, though he still answered to that
name.
In
those days, Creele of Garthan Hold had been the Ambassador to Ankhana. Raithe
could still see him as clearly as though he stood before him now: a man of
grace and beauty, eyes constantly sparkling with his extraordinary wit, a
brilliant thinker, an intellect like fire leaping from root to branch.
Ambassador Creele had taken an interest in young Raithe, had made clear that
his career was upward bound. Creele had encouraged Raithe in his study of the
Esoteric arts of fighting and espionage, and the skills of mind that were now
his greatest weapon.
Raithe
had watched in helpless horror as Creele had died by Caine's hand.
On
that day, Raithe had sworn to Caine's face that there was no place the murderer
could hide, to escape Monastic vengeance. But after Creele's murder, the
Ambassadorial post has been taken by that plodding hypocrite Damon, who had
muddied and confused the issue before the Council of Brothers—not that it had
mattered, in the end; for by that time, Caine was widely supposed to be dead.
Creele's
murder had been the opening tap of Raithe's destruction; like the first rap of
a carpenter's hammer, it had seated the nail firmly for a single, final blow.
Because Creele had died that day—because the embassy had been in great
turmoil—Raithe had been on extra duty on that fateful noon five days later. He
had been sitting at a writing table in the scriptorium, surrounded by spineless
Exoterics, while he painstakingly lettered the fifth copy of his report on
Creele's murder.
If
Caine hadn't murdered Creele, Raithe would have been in Victory Stadium: beside
his father, the honest, pious blacksmith, who'd been proud of his position as
the house farrier at Janner's Livery; beside his mother, the quiet, faithful
wife and homemaker whose loving arms had always circled Raithe like a mystic
ring against the hurts of the world.
His
parents had been early converts to the Church of the Beloved Children; his
mother, especially, had been passionately devoted to Ma'elKoth. And so of
course they both had stood cheering in the stands, when Ma'elKoth's procession
had entered Victory Stadium. Cheering—until the riot had begun, and the cheers
had turned to screams.
If
Raithe had been there, he would have fought for them. He would have saved them.
But he wasn't there. Because of Caine.
His
parents died in the riot. Slaughtered like animals.
Because
of Caine.
Because
of Caine, he had reforged himself into a weapon.
In
the years that followed he had devoted himself to the study of Caine and his
people, the alien race of Aktiri. He became the Monasteries' leading
expert not only on Caine, but on the Aktiri and their world. It had been
Raithe himself who had discovered the origin of the mysterious Artans, the
outlanders who ruled Transdeia; shortly thereafter, Raithe had persuaded the
Council of Brothers to make him the first Ambassador to the Artan court.
The
world believed what the Church told them, that Caine had died on the sand at
Victory Stadium. Raithe knew better. Somewhere, somehow, the murderer of his
parents lived in the smug enjoyment of his rancid victory; Raithe could see him
in his dreams. And in every dream, Raithe renewed his promise.
I
will teach you my name.
He
would teach the world his name; but the name he would teach it was not Raithe.
The name Raithe was now a mask, a costume he wore to conceal his
true face. Raithe had been brittle, fragile enough to shatter under a
single sharp blow—a bit of pottery, no more. The man who now wore his face was
a weapon, a blade of tempered steel gleaming from the forge. Only in his.
deepest, most cherished dream of dreams, in the stone: he whispered to himself
in the darkest midnights, when his ghosts all crowded round his heart, did he
dare to call himself by his true name.
He
had become the Caineslayer.
Childish?
He knew it was—but he had been a child when he'd sworn himself to it. Now,
seven years later, he could make his cheeks burn merely by imagining the
humiliation of anyone ever learning how much he still cherished this adolescent
melodrama . . . but that only made him clutch it ever more tightly to his
heart.
In
swearing himself to that name, he had made a vow that would never be broken.
Now he kept perfect vigilance, waiting.
In
comparing Caine's history to those of others in the Monastic Archives, he had
discovered what he'd come to think of as Caine's defining characteristic. In
each of his recorded endeavors, from the smallest assassination to the epic
undertaking that had crushed the Khulan Horde at Ceraeno, there would always
come a fulcrum, one defining point of balance, where a mere shift of Caine's
weight toppled history in an unexpected direction.
Caine
was, somehow, behind every twist of history in Raithe's short lifetime. This
lesson had been burned into him like a brand upon the inside of his skull.
How
had the Empire come to be? Caine saved Ankhana at Ceraeno, and Ma'elKoth
triumphed over the superior forces of Lipke in the Plains War. How had
Ma'elKoth come to be? Caine delivered up unto Ma'elKoth the crown of
Dal'Kannith. How had Raithe come to be the Caineslayer? How had the Caineslayer
come to be the Monastic Ambassador to the Artans?
The
answer to every question led back to Caine.
Raithe
had made it his personal rule of thumb, as private as his darkest fantasies,
never to act until he understood how an event was connected to Caine. This rule
had been his guidepost of destiny for nearly seven years. The connection might
be distant, tenuous, tortuous—but it had always been there. This was how he
maintained his perfect vigilance.
This
was no longer a matter of vengeance; oh, certainly, he had started along this
path seeking revenge, but revenge was a crippling desire, one of those that he
had sloughed away like a snake shedding its skin. Caine need not be punished.
He must be extinguished.
It
wasn't personal, not anymore.
After
all, was not Caine as much a pawn of destiny as Raithe himself? Caine had not
intended to kill his parents; it had been purely an act of fate: as though all
the universe conspired to create the Caineslayer.
Raithe
thought of himself, of his mission—of his dream of the Caineslayer—as a
metaphor, now; just as Caine had become a metaphor. To the Church of the
Beloved Children of Ma'elKoth, Caine was the Prince of Chaos, the Enemy of God.
He had become a symbol for all of humanity's basest instincts of low
selfishness, greed, and aggression; a symbol for everything against which stood
the Church. He represented that part of human nature that set man against man,
woman against woman, the selfdestructive bloody-mindedness that was the single
greatest threat to the Human Future.
This
was the fundamental error of the Church: by elevating Caine to the status of
the Enemy of God, they gave power to his legend. Raithe was a loyal elKothan
himself, as his parents had been; he found it astonishing that the Church would
admit of anyone or anything that could oppose the power of Ma'elKoth. Though it
was Church doctrine that Caine's opposition to God had, against his will,
served the greater glory of Ma'elKoth, Raithe sometimes suspected that it might
be the other way around.
Caine
was slippery that way.
So
all this led to a single, simple terminus. To act properly on this matter of
the Mithondionne legates, he had to know: Where was the connection to Caine?
For
one awful, dizzying moment, he wondered if perhaps there might not be any
connection to Caine at all; black doubt yawned beneath him, and only a frantic
mental scramble brought him back from a lethal fall. There was a connection.
There would be. And he would find it. He had to.
It
was his destiny.
3
"Mmm,
Master Raithe?" The greasy voice of Ptolan once again shattered his
concentration.
Raithe
opened his eyes; full night stared back at him through the open window,
spangled with hazy stars. How many hours had he sat here, dozing away his
opportunity? He twisted, rising from his chair, suddenly red-faced with fury.
"Rot your guts, Ptolan—I told you not to bother—"
"Sorry,
uh, sorry, Brother, really I am—but Brother Talle has come up saying the lamp
on the Artan Mirror glows, and your instructions were that, no matter what
you're doing, or what time of day it might be, or—"
"All
right," Raithe snarled. "Jhantho's Faith, can't you
shut up? I'm on my way."
4
Damon
of Jhanthogen Bluff, the-Acting Monastic Ambassador to the Infinite Court,
looked out over the teeming ballroom and allowed himself to feel moderately
pleased. The orchestra played with spectacular skill; across the broad expanse
of dance floor hundreds of couples swayed, while through the crowded fringe and
the smaller side rooms wove dozens of young, white-robed friars bearing trays
of cocktails and appetizers. The general light came from no specific source,
making the air itself seem to glow and pulse gently in time with the rhythm of
the waltz, casting a glamour subtler and more enticing than mere lamp
flame—making the men more dashing, the women more beautiful, the setting
absolutely flawless.
Over
Damon's six-year tenure as Acting Ambassador, the Monastic Ball had become the
premier diplomatic event of the Ankhanan social calendar. Damon himself was a
stolid, pragmatic man, with little time for social niceties and no liking for
parties at all, but the value of an event such as this could not be denied. The
Monasteries formed a sovereign nation, but it was a nation without borders, one
that spread across every known land. On this most neutral of all neutral
ground, representatives of every government across the civilized world could
meet and partake of each other's company without the interference of protocols
of national precedence and the like.
Here
within his view stood two perfect examples: the Lipkan Ambassador traded
slightly sodden jokes with his Paqulan counterpart, as they leaned on each
other in drunken friendship despite the ongoing privateer raids between Paquli
and the Lipkan Empire; and on the dance floor, the jel'Han of Kor in his
outlandish gold-embroidered bearskin roared with laughter as Countess Maia of
Kaarn lowered him into a very competent dip. Damon's normally expressionless
face bent into a small grim smile of satisfaction; he reflected that he would
never know how many wars and assassinations and diplomatic conflicts of all
descriptions had been averted by parties just like this one.
He
had not sought this post, nor did he enjoy it but the job was his to do, and he
could take some satisfaction in having done it well.
Faintly
through the music and laughter, Damon heard voices raised in anger. They seemed
to be coming from beyond the ballroom, perhaps from the Gate Hall, outside the
thrice-manheight doors, and were angry enough that they might signify
violence. The friars who served as the embassy's security staff were all
blooded veterans and experts in unarmed combat; they could stop any fight
without unnecessary injury or insult to the participants, and so Damon was not
overly concerned—until the orchestra fell silent in a chaotic tangle of
flattening notes.
A man
in the gold-and-blue dress livery of the Eyes of God stood beside the
conductor, gesturing emphatically. The ballroom poised momentarily in
apprehensive silence.
A
white-robed junior friar had forced his way through the press, and now he bowed
jerkily to Damon and spoke far too loudly, his breath-less words ringing in the
quiet. "Master Damon—the Patriarch, he—the Eyes, the Grey Cats, they've
arrested Hem, and lento, and, and, and Vice
Ambassador
t'Passe!"
A
bitterly cold shock went through Damon, and for a blank instant he could
neither move nor speak.
The
ballroom burst into uproar as Ambassadors and delegates and entourages from
every nation sought each other, gathering themselves into self-protective
knots. The orchestra struck up the Imperial anthem, "King of Kings,"
and as the first strains entered the general roar, the ballroom doors swung
back. Through them flooded hard-faced men in grey leather, swords in hand.
Behind the leather-dad warriors walked a dozen Household Knights in their full
blood-colored battle armor, escorting a small group of Eyes of God.
In
their midst limped the stocky, dark-clad figure of the Patriarch of Ankhana.
Damon's
paralysis broke. "Summon Master Dossaign to my office, boy. Tell him to
get on the Artan Mirror to the Council of Brothers, with the word that we have
been attacked, and the embassy has been occupied by Imperial forces."
The
young friar hesitated. "But I don't understand! How could even the
Patriarch dare—?"
"You
need not understand," Damon snapped. "You need only obey. When
the Master Speaker has sent the message, have him disconnect the Mirror and
hide it, so that it is never seen by unworn eyes. Now go!"
He
jumped like a startled rat and scampered away.
The
Grey Cats fanned out through the crowd, their ready blades persuading all and
sundry that the wisest course would be to wait silently, and watch, and hope
that the Patriarch had not come for any of them.
Damon
caught the eyes of several nearby friars. They moved toward him, opening a path
through the press. Damon stepped into the gap and waved to the orchestra,
which now fell silent. In the breathless quiet, he met the colorless gaze of
the Patriarch of Ankhana.
The
Patriarch was a man of somewhat less than average size; his face was pale and
heavily scored by the burdens he bore. Damon was personally aware that the
Patriarch never spent less than twelve hours a day laboring at the business of
the Empire–and those twelve-hour days often extended to twenty. The hair that
strayed from beneath his flat cap of soft black velvet was the same neutral,
undefinable grey brown as his eyes—eyes that now gazed upon Damon with the same
expressionless dispassion they had held in the days when the Patriarch had been
the Duke of Public Order.
That
had been before the Assumption of Ma'elKoth; in the chaos that followed the
Emperor's transfiguration, the Duke of Public Order had seized the reins of
power, bullying the nobility into confirming him as the Steward of the Empire.
Shortly after solidifying his Stewardship, the former Duke had proclaimed the
Doctrine of elKothan Supremacy and had named himself the first Patriarch of the
Church of the Beloved Children of Ma'elKoth.
By
acting always in the name of the Divine Ma'elKoth, the Patriarch had gathered
to himself greater political power than the Emperor Himself had wielded; Damon
privately considered that Toa-Sytell, former Duke, now Steward and Patriarch,
was the most dangerous man alive.
"Your
Radiance; Damon said in a tone of flatly correct courtesy. He did not
genuflect, or even offer the slightest incline of his head for a bow; he was
the sovereign of this tiny nation bounded by the embassy wails, and he
owed no obsequence to any invader. "I presume there is some explanation
for this outrageous conduct. Your armed invasion of these premises, and your
detention of Monastic citizens by threat of force, are acts of war."
Toa-Sytell's
only response was a slight preliminary compression of the lips.
Damon
drew himself up and said with clipped, ominous precision, "You are not the
first ruler to delude himself into believing he had the power to violate
Monastic sovereignty."
"I
apologize; the Patriarch said blandly. "No one has been harmed, and it was
not the Empire's intention to give offense. The Empire does not invade. The
Empire does not attack. Those detained will be released, once it can be
established that they are Monastic citizens in truth, and not terrorist
criminals engaged in high treason against the Empire: offenses against God
Himself. The matter will be explained fully in Our formal apology to the
Council of Brothers. Perhaps we could continue this discussion in your office,
Excellency?"
"Perhaps
His Radiance could explain now, in the presence of all here," Damon
said grimly, "how he could come to believe that one of my Vice-Ambassadors
might not be a Monastic citizen?"
The
Patriarch did not so much as glance at the breathless crowd that hung upon his
every word. "The woman calling herself t'Passe of Narnen Hill," he
said imperturbably, "has associated herself with Cainists, and has herself
been heard to espouse political views tantamount to Cainism."
This
brought gasps and indignant whispers from the assembly—the astonishing effrontery
of this man, Patriarch or no—and a number of outraged and disbelieving
looks directed both at the Patriarch and at his attending Grey Cats.
Damon's
face remained impassive, but inwardly he raged at his underling for her
foolishly idealistic nature, and at himself for forbearing to beat that out of
her. He said calmly, "This would be disturbing, if true—but only
disturbing, not criminal. To the best of my knowledge, holding Cainist
views does not constitute high treason."
"The
best of your knowledge," the Patriarch said, with a quiet exactitude that
touched on subtle irony, "is sadly out of date."
He
let those words fall into the silence for a long, long moment.
"On
this, the Eve of Saint Berne, let it be known: There is no safety for the
enemies of God. Traitors and terrorist criminals cannot take shelter behind
diplomatic convention. When the welfare of the Beloved Children of Ma'elKoth is
threatened, even Our well-known respect for Monastic dignity must give way.
Monastic sovereignty is temporal; the power of Ma'elKoth eternal. Ma'elKoth is
supreme!"
The
Patriarch, the Household Knights and every Grey Cat struck their chests with
closed fists, as though each drove a dagger into his own heart, and then opened
their hands as though offering their hearts' blood to their Lord: the primary
gesture of their faith.
Toa-Sytell
nodded briskly to Damon and limped beyond him toward the doors that led into
the embassy's interior, rocking from side to side on his crippled leg. As he
passed, he said softly, "Your office, Damon. Now." Four Household
Knights trailed in his wake.
Damon
stood motionless for an endless second, his mind boiling; finally he pulled
himself together enough to speak.
"This
matter," he said, not loudly but with a crisp, penetrating tone so that
all could hear, "is between the Empire and the Monasteries, and shall be
settled as such. Let it not interfere with your evening's entertainment."
He waved to the conductor, and the orchestra struck up a sprightly reel.
Without waiting to see if anyone would actually join the dance, Damon turned
and followed the Patriarch.
Before
he left the ballroom, he signaled to six of the embassy's security staff. All
six were Esoterics, each man a specialist in personal combat against an armored
opponent. He had no illusions that he or his embassy could survive a violent
encounter with the might of the Empire—but he intended to ensure that the
Patriarch would not survive it either. If he could not settle this matter
peacefully, it would be settled in blood.
5
Toa-Sytell
eased his aching joints in the high-backed chair at Damon's enormous, scarred
writing table in the Ambassador's office. One hand massaged his crippled knee,
while with the other he held a snifter of fine Tinnaran brandy he'd found in a
chest beside the table. He took a long, delightfully aromatic sip and gazed
across the snifter's lip at Damon, a slight tilt of his head taking the place
of a smile. "Are you certain you won't join me?"
The
Acting Ambassador only stared at him stonily.
Toa-Sytell
sighed. "Oh, unbend a little, Damon. I'm sorry for the show in the
ballroom. That was only to make a point it's a tale that will spread far beyond
the Empire's borders before the week is out, as was intended. Meanwhile, I'll
let your people go, and the Church will pay whatever reparations the Council
requires. All right? I will exonerate your underlings, and deliver a formal
apology for the affront to your office—with the codicil that had your people
been found to be Cainists, they would have received the same Imperial justice
meted out to all enemies of God. But that's only a detail. Have a drink."
Damon
released a long breath, shaking his head, but he stepped over to the liquor
cabinet, took a glass, and poured himself three fingers of Korish cactus
whiskey. "I cannot say what the Council's response to this will be,"
he said, "but they have ever been open to reparations; they will want war
no more than does the Empire."
Toa-Sytell
nodded approval and waved his snifter at the furnishings of the office: an
expensive array of delicately carved hardwoods, in the light and airy open
style that defined recent Ankhanan craftsmanship. "I see you still have
Creele's furniture."
Damon
shrugged. "I am only Acting Ambassador. I have no authority to make
changes."
"Mmm,
yes—no one really trusts you, do they? None of the Council factions has the power
to get their own toady in here, and so they leave you in place: perhaps
the only honest man in the Monastic diplomatic corps." Toa-Sytell
found himself chuckling at the thought of an honest ambassador. "I've
always admired you, do you know that?"
His friendly
tone had its effect: the tension began to drain out of Damon's face, and the
Acting Ambassador lowered himself onto a lovely embroidered settee. The
wariness was still there, but wariness was acceptable, so long as Damon was
relaxed enough not to do something foolish—such as order those friars outside
to attack the Household Knights who guarded the doorway. Toa-Sytell wondered in
passing if Damon might be feeling as much disappointment as relief; the
Ambassador had clearly nerved himself up for a noble martyrdom.
"Honesty
is not such a virtue," Damon said tiredly. He took a sip of his whiskey
and went on. "I tell the truth because that is my nature. I don't incline
to the lie. It's like the color of my hair, or my height: neither good nor bad.
It simply is."
"Mm,
you just do what you do, is that it?" Toa-Sytell murmured, mildly amused.
"That makes you sound like a bit of a Cainist yourself." Damon
grunted, and shook his head. "I'm not political."
"Neither
are they, to hear them tell it. They're philosophical."
Damon's
mouth set into a grim line. "You should tell me why you've come here. I
shouldn't think it's to discuss the finer points of Cainism."
"Well,
my friend, there you would be wrong," Toa-Sytell said. He drained his
snifter and poured himself another drink before continuing. "Tomorrow is
the Feast of Saint Berne. Assumption Day is only three months away, Damon. This
will be the seventh Festival of the Assumption, by the will of Ma'elKoth."
He
lifted the glass to the small elKothan shrine that occupied one corner of the
office and drank to his god. "It will be the single most important day of
my Patriarchy. There are those, among the more gullible of Our Beloved
Children, who expect Ma'elKoth Himself to return on that day."
Damon
nodded. "I've heard this tale."
"It
is only a tale," Toa-Sytell said. "The Ascended Ma'elKoth will not
return in the body; He is transcendent, immanent, omnipresent. He has no need
of a physical form. But the Empire, on the other hand—the Empire has a great
need for a flawless Festival of the Assumption, do you understand? It is
crucial symbolism of the doctrine of elKothan supremacy." Glass in hand,
he made a gestural sketch of offering his heart's blood toward the shrine.
"I
begin to see," Damon said. "You expect that Cainists will attempt to
interfere."
"Of
course they will," Toa-Sytell said wearily. "How can they not?
The opportunity is too good to resist. To disrupt the Festival seems a small
enough matter—but to make the Imperial Church appear weak and foolish threatens
the very existence of the Empire."
Once
again, he drained his glass. He told himself he should not have another; he was
so tired the brandy was already making his head swim. The room seemed to press
in more closely around him, and the air became thicker, harder to breathe.
"By
the Festival, Cainism will be only a memory; whatever Cainists who survive will
be too worried about living out the day to risk embarrassing the Imperial
Church. I've been lax, Damon. I've let them go too far, and they have become bold.
Now they must be crushed before they do us real harm."
Damon's
response was a grim stare. Toa-Sytell often surmised that the Ambassador had
personal reservations about the value of the Empire in the pursuit of the
Monasteries' overall goal of ensuring the permanent ascendance of humanity; he
was consistently silent on the subject. The Council of Brothers openly
supported the Empire as humankind's brightest hope. Damon's steadfast devotion
to the Monasteries wouldn't let him publicly disagree with the Council, but his
fundamental bedrock of honesty wouldn't let him pretend to agree—and so he
never said anything at all.
Toa-Sytell
sighed and poured himself another brandy. It was unexpectedly relaxing, to sit
here with a man who—though not quite a friend—was someone he had no need to
manipulate, with whom he was not required to maintain his exhausting facade of
Patriarchal infallibility. He decided that once he finished his business here,
he would go straight back to the Colhari Palace and sleep until dawn. "Do
you know," he said slowly, "that it was in this very room that I
first met him? Caine. Right here."
"I
recall," Damon said grimly.
"Of
course, of course. You were here, weren't you?"
Their
eyes met, and they shared a glance that skated across the open expanse of
carpet between them. Nearly seven years ago, they had stood in this room and
watched Ambassador Creele lie on that carpet as the light slowly faded within
his eyes: as his heart failed, after Caine had broken his neck.
Toa-Sytell
often wondered how the world might be different today, if he had done the wise
thing that night ordered Caine shot down like the mad dog he so obviously was.
"It's because of him that you have this post," he mused. "You
took the Acting Ambassadorship after he murdered Creele—"
"Executed
him," Damon said firmly.
Toa-Sytell
ignored the correction. "In fact, it's because of him that you still have
it. When you testified on the murder before the Council, neither Creele's
friends nor his enemies liked what you had to say. You ended up in the middle,
with both sides against you—a precarious position, but you have proved to
possess exceptional balance."
"I
told the truth," Damon said with a shrug; then he cocked his head
curiously. "How do you know of my testimony? Proceedings of the Council of
Brothers are—"
"Secret,
yes, yes," Toa-Sytell said, waving the question aside. "I simply find
it a subject for curious contemplation, from time to time. Caine himself truly
was the precise definition of evil, as he is named by the Church: an
indiscriminate slaughterer who cared nothing for the lives he shattered in the
pursuit of whatever happened to catch his fancy of the moment. He betrayed Our
Lord, yet it was through his betrayal that Ma'elKoth was transfigured. He
crippled me—shattered my knee beyond even magickal repair, so that I am
reminded of him by the pain that wrenches my every step—yet gave me rulership
of the Ankhanan Empire. He sparked riots that nearly burned the city to the
ground, civil war—the First Succession War as well as the Second, in
fact."
Toa-Sytell's
chest clutched with suddenly remembered grief; Tashinel and Jarrothe, his sons
whom he had loved beyond all measure, his only children, had died in the First
Succession War. He shook this aside—it was an old, familiar pain, flooding back
now on a rising tide of alcohol—and went on. "Yet he also saved Ankhana at
the Battle of Ceraeno. His murders were countless . . . but one cannot forget
that he also did our land the very great favor of killing that madman
Berne."
"It's
your Church that names Berne a saint," Damon pointed out.
"Not
mine. Ma'elKoth's." Toa-Sytell made another sketch of a salute toward the
corner shrine. "You forget: I knew Berne. What we celebrate tomorrow is
his sacrifice for God, not his character. As a man, he was a rapist and a
murderer—worse even than Caine, and I don't mind saying so. Privately."
Damon
smiled painfully, as though bending his lips made his face hurt. "You
sound a bit like a Cainist, too."
"Ah,
it's the brandy," Toa-Sytell said, tilting his glass high to catch the
last drops before pouring himself another. "It must be made clear, Damon.
Cainism is treason. Adherents of Cainism openly declare themselves the
enemies of society, and of God. It will not be tolerated within the Empire's
bound—not even from Monastic diplomats."
Damon
frowned. "You cannot expect to dictate the politics and philosophies of
Monastic citizens," he said stiffly.
This,
too, Toa-Sytell waved aside with a weary pass of his snifter. "I don't.
What I do expect is that the Council of Brothers will find it expedient to post
holders of such views elsewhere—to avoid the appearance of deliberate offense
to the Empire and the Church. After all," he said reasonably, "the
Cainist heresy can't be very popular with the Council, either; if Caine had not
died at Victory Stadium, I'm sure you would have found it necessary to kill
him."
Damon
stared gloomily down into his glass and swirled the whiskey within it.
"There are some who say that Caine survived—that he waits beyond the
world, and that when Ma'elKoth returns Caine will as well, for their final
battle."
"Primitive
superstition," Toa-Sytell snorted. "This kind of `final conflict'
myth will always be popular among the ignorant—and it is the Cainists who
spread it, no doubt. I intend to ensure that the Cainists never get the chance
to fulfill their false prophecies. This is why I now speak with you privately,
here in your office, Damon. I want you to understand that what I do is in the
same service of humanity to which you and every friar are sworn; Cainism is our
common enemy, and it can only be defeated by our common effort."
The
wariness he had earlier seen in Damon's face now returned with redoubled force.
"I am not yet convinced that Cainism is our common enemy," he said.
"What common effort do you expect? What is it you want from us?"
"From
you, specifically, Damon," Toa-Sytell said easily. "Time grows short;
I do not have the month or six weeks to spare as couriers travel beyond the
Empire's borders and return. I wish to converse with Raithe of Ankhana, the
current Ambassador to the Duchy of Transdeia."
"Speak
with . ?" Damon stiffened. "How do you—"
"You
have a device—the Artan Mirror, I believe it's called—that you acquired from
these Artans who now rule Transdeia. It's generally used here in this room,
your office. I don't know how it is operated; if you would be so kind as to use
it to make contact with Ambassador Raithe, I would be most appreciative."
"But,
but, it's impossible that you should—"
"Know
of this secret device?" Toa-Sytell sighed and drained his snifter one last
time. "After a lifetime spent in the gathering of secrets as a profession,
I find it has become something of a relaxing pastime in itself—a welcome
diversion from the heavy cares of church and state."
He
allowed himself a rare, lazy smile as he fisted his chest then spread his hand
before him. "The Eyes of God see all, you know. Ma'elKoth is
supreme."
6
Toa-Sytell
watched attentively as the Artan Mirror was set up for use. He'd had report of
this device, but he had never seen it, nor did he know how it worked.
The
Artan Mirror was a valise-sized box that the Master Speaker, Dossaign of
Jhanthogen Bluff, situated upon Damon's writing table. The Master Speaker then
attached a thin, flexible cord of some kind to another that came unobtrusively
in through the office window. It was faced with a very ordinary-looking mirror
that appeared to be merely silvered glass, and on its side was a ring-shaped
handgrip that seemed to be made of gold. Having joined the cords together in
some fashion Toa-Sytell couldn't quite appreciate—he seemed to simply jam the
end of one into the end of the other, like a branch grafted onto a fruit tree—the
Master Speaker retired. One of his assistants—called a Speaking Brother—took
hold of the handgrip and briefly closed his eyes.
A
long, long moment passed in silence, then the Speaking Brother opened his eyes
and said, "I am received."
Damon
took the seat, facing into the Artan Mirror; the Speaking Brother took his
hand. "Greetings from Ankhana," Damon said. "Ambassador Damon
calls upon Ambassador Raithe."
Toa-Sytell
shifted his weight forward, peering at the box-shaped device; to his eye, it
seemed that Damon looked solely at his own reflection, and spoke to himself.
Another
long moment passed in-silence, then Damon said, "Not well, Master Raithe.
This is not a personal call. I have with me here His Radiance the Patriarch of
Ankhana, who wishes converse with you."
After
a pause, Damon said severely, "But he does know. And it would serve you
well, Raithe, to remember that the Patriarch once directed the King's Eyes. I
chose not to insult him with disingenuous pretense, and I suggest that you
follow my example . . . Very well. Yes, I recall, and you may be certain that
the Patriarch does, as well. Bide a moment."
He
let go of the Speaking Brother's hand and turned to Toa-Sytell. He said with
quiet irony, "Master Raithe bids me remember how busy he is, in his
duties as Ambassador." He rose, and offered his seat to Toa-Sytell.
The
Patriarch sat down and regarded himself in the mirror. The deepening
creases that accompanied the developing slackness of jowls along his jawline,
and the near-black swipes of exhaustion under his eyes, made him wince and
promise himself to take a long-needed vacation once the Festival was safely and
successfully complete. He sighed—it seemed that he had been promising himself a
vacation for seven years.
He
forced his attention back to his purpose. "How is this used?"
The
Speaking Brother extended his hand. "Your Radiance need only join grips
with me, and speak as though Brother Raithe is here within this room."
Scowling,
Toa-Sytell took the Speaking Brother's hand. His scowl deepened further when
his face in the mirror blurred and faded into greyish mist, which then
coalesced into a new image: a thin, sharp-faced man with a pointed chin and
skin like tight-stretched leather, a nose like a knife blade dividing rather
close-set eyes as penetrating as an eagle's. His tonsured head sprouted a
fringe of lank brown hair, and he wore the rich blood-colored robes of a
Monastic Ambassador. And those eyes—they were decidedly disturbing: pale,
almost colorless blue grey against his swarthy skin, flat and clouded as chips
of ice set into his skull.
He
could not have been more than thirty years of age, was perhaps only twenty-five
or -six.
Astonishingly,
Toa-Sytell recognized him; though he could not say when, Toa-Sytell knew
that he had seen this intense young man before, perhaps years ago—and for a
moment, he could only wonder at the tangled web of lives that touch each other
again and again, for no discernable reason.
Ahh,
bugger it, Toa-Sytell thought. I
must be getting drunk
"Your
Radiance?" The title had a slightly testy edge—it was Raithe, speaking to
him through this device, from hundreds of miles away. The room where Raithe sat
could not be seen; it was as though the Ambassador floated within a dense grey
mist. "How may I be of service?"
Toa-Sytell
huffed a sigh through his nose. He could think of no reason to waste breath in
polite chatter or to speak with less than absolute plainness. "You, as a
Monastic citizen, are not an Imperial subject, and so I do not command you. The
Council of Brothers does, however, require that the Empire be given aid and
support to the fullest power of each and every friar; therefore, think of my
request as proceeding from their lips."
Raithe's
pale eyes narrowed. "Please continue, Your Radiance."
"Give
this word to your Viceroy Garrette. Today, to expound—or even privately
hold—Cainist ideas has been declared to be treason against the Empire, and an
insult to God," Toa-Sytell began.
At
this, those eyes seemed to catch inexplicable fire, as though a winter sun had
burned through their permanent overcast. "This is a great day, Your
Radiance—but, to tell the Viceroy? I don't understand."
"Of
course you do, Raithe; Toa-Sytell said irritably. "It is known that you
are not a fool. It is also known that you received your current post for the
sole reason that you are the Monasteries' leading authority on the
Aktiri."
Raithe's
gaze focused like sunlight through a glass; Toa-Sytell would have been
unsurprised to find his face blistering under its heat. "You cannot possibly—!"
'Spare
me." When he continued, Toa-Sytell endeavored to recover his customary dry
precision of speech. "Our message to Garrette is simply this: To support
the actions of these Cainist traitors will, from this day forward, be
considered an act of war.
"His
Radiance," the young Ambassador said, "is making a terrible
mistake."
"This
is not a discussion, Ambassador. Tell Vinson Garrette that he is known to the
Infinite Court; from the mortal arm of Ma'elKoth, nothing can be hidden. Tell
him, We know that he and his so-called Artans are in truth Aktiri. Tell
him, We know the Aktiri have aided the spread of Cainism. And tell him
that if he and his Aktiri masters continue their campaign of Cainist
terror against the Empire, their tiny foothold upon Our world will be utterly
destroyed."
Raithe
snorted with open insolence.
"We
will cry a crusade," Toa-Sytell said. "Do you
understand?"
Raithe
appeared to, swallow, twisting his head as though his throat pained him, then
nodded. "Yes, Your Radiance. I understand."
"Make
certain that Garrette does, as well. We know that the Aktiri wield
potent magicks—but We also know that they die as easily as any other
men. The Artans and the Empire do not have to be enemies; tell him this,
too. The path is for him to choose: friendship, or death."
"Your
Radiance, please—" Raithe's young face worked as though he chewed upon
broken glass. After a moment, he seemed to master himself, and he said thinly,
"Though not of your Empire, Your Radiance, I am of your flock. I am, as I
have been since the very birth of the Church, a Beloved Child. I passed through
the Womb of Ma'elKoth under His own direction, and my devotion to the Church
has never wavered. In the name of that devotion, I ask you to reconsider what
you require of me. I know Viceroy Garrette too well —a threat this bald
may spark the very war we all would wish to avoid."
Toa-Sytell
grunted his unconcern with this possibility. "Should Garrette wish to
continue his Cainist games, We may turn to the solution Caine himself would
employ, in the hope that Garrette's successor will prove more reasonable."
"Your
Radiance, you cannot." The young Ambassador spoke with clinical certainty.
"You have no conception of the powers you confront—you would never be
safe. There would be nowhere you could hide from Artan vengeance."
The
words echoed in Toa-Sytell's mind, and in their echo they subtly altered: You
will never be safe, Caine of Garthan Hold. There is nowhere you can hide from
Monastic vengeance. "Ha!" he barked, snapping his fingers
and pointing at Raithe's image in the mirror. "I know you now—I
remember!"
Raithe's
brows drew together. "I'm sorry?"
"You
were here, in this room!" Toa-Sytell said triumphantly. "That
night—that night Caine killed him here on the carpet. You were one of the
guards—"
"I
was," Raithe confirmed grimly. "But I do not see how this relates to
your business with the Artan Viceroy."
"Well,
of course it does ..." Toa-Sytell frowned; of course there was a
connection here. Wasn't there? He felt sure that the connection was an
important one, a point that must be made, though now he couldn't remember why.
He reached for his brandy snifter, but found it to be empty; he felt a bit
dizzy, and he decided he had drunk enough for the night. "I, ah, the point
is . . . I was only thinking," he said lamely, "about the way lives
seem to cross each other, for no reason ..."
At
this, Raithe stiffened as though he'd taken a shock, and a vein bulged,
pulsing, around his right eye, but Toa-Sytell was too light-headed to attach
any significance to this. He wiped his free hand across his eyes and said,
"Give my message to Garrette. Now. Tonight."
Before
Raithe could begin another protest, Toa-Sytell released the hand of the
Speaking Brother, and Raithe vanished. Toa-Sytell blinked at the mirror,
somewhat surprised to find himself staring at the reflection of an aging,
exhausted drunk. Time to go home, he thought, and pushed himself
unsteadily to his feet.
From
a seat beside the writing table, Damon stared at him, white faced, appalled by
even the half of the conversation that he had heard. Toa-Sytell shrugged and
shook his head to indicate there was nothing to worry about, though he could
not bring himself to form the words.
"Sorry
about the ball, Damon," he said thickly. "Hope the rest of it goes
well. I, ah, I'm going home now."
He
lurched toward the door, thinking Well, that should have gotten things
rolling.
7
Raithe
sat frozen before the Artan Mirror, his hand upon the golden grip. Me, he
thought in wonder. It's me.
He
saw it now: his entire life lay unfolded before him, all its twists and turns
laid bare. Here at this crux of history, standing on the nexal node of conflict
between the Empire and the Artans and the subhuman House Mithondionne, he had
found the connection he had sought. He had found the hand of Caine.
He
had found it in the mirror.
Caine
had made him; Caine had driven the quest for power and knowledge that
had ended with Raithe being right here, right now, where history
was so delicately balanced as to topple according to his slightest breath.
Caine had put Toa-Sytell upon the Oaken Throne. Caine had inspired the heretic
terrorists who had sparked Toa-Sytell's use of the Mirror, to bring those words
to him:... the way lives cross each other, for no reason ...
But
there was a reason. Caine was the reason.
He
saw it now: saw the possibility, saw the opportunity. He saw what Caine
might do here—if Caine served the true dream of One Humanity. He saw the
opening for a Cainelike stroke: a balance upon which he could throw his own
weight. On this whole continent, perhaps the whole world, there was no greater
threat to the future of humanity than the elves of House Mithondionne. With one
elegant gesture, he could bring against them the unguessable power of the other
great threat to the true dream: the Aktiri—the people of Caine.
And
let the two most powerful enemies of the Human Future destroy each other.
He
rose.
"Ptolan,"
he said calmly, distantly amazed at how serene and normal his voice
sounded to his ears. "Master Ptolan, attend me."
Only
the scuffle of a step or two preceded the voice; Ptolan must have been
eavesdropping. "Yes, Master Raithe?"
"Summon
the Speaking Brother; wake him, if need be." Raithe had the Mirror
skill, to send this message himself, but he had urgent business within the
walls of Thorncleft Castle above the town-business that could not wait the
minutes such a message would require.
"The
Council must be informed," he said. "There exists a state of war
between the Artan overlords of Transdeia and the elves of House
Mithondionne."
"War?"
Nolan asked breathlessly. "War now?"
Raithe's
lips thinned; he stared far into the night sky. "Let us say, within the
hour."
As
Nolan scurried away, Raithe slowly turned to the corner of his room, to strike
his chest and offer his heart's blood to the shrine of Ma'elKoth.
8
The
elvish legates stood in Vinson Garrette's drawing room with indifferent poise,
as jarringly out of place as ballerinas in a slaughterhouse. Administrator
Garrette gritted his teeth and tried to ignore the sweat that trailed down his
ribs from his armpits.
He
had designed the room's decor himself, modeling it loosely upon the Cedar Room
of England's Warwick Castle. Darkly polished, intricately carved, and
interlocking wall panels stretched fifteen feet to the elaborate, gold-leafed
plaster of the ceiling, which was done in the massive Baroque style of Italy's
seventeenth century. The fireplace was an astonishing edifice of rose-veined marble,
half again Garrette's height; upon the mantel stood an enormous mechanical
clock, its bejeweled pendulum scattering multicolored fire. Five enormous
crystal chandeliers blazed with the light of three hundred candles. The carpet
had been hand woven in a single piece, its design mirroring that of the ceiling
above, and everywhere on that carpet rested furniture of unparalleled grace in
design.
This
potent combination of wealth and taste would give any man pause, would place
him in his proper relationship with the Artan Viceroy, starting all dealings
off with the proper note of deference to Garrette's power and discernment
which, of course, had much less to do with his own vanity than with his
devotion to the Company. As Viceroy, he was the public face of the Overworld
Company—of what the natives believed was the Kingdom of Arta—and, as such, it
was his duty to present an image that commanded the respect the Company
deserved.
These
damned elves, though
They
had minced around the room, muttering among themselves, occasionally
giving out that tinkling wind-chime laughter of theirs. Now and again one would
turn to ask him a courteous question on the origin of this fabric or the
history of some particular type of scrollwork upon the furniture—questions of
the sort that no one could have answered except some bloody interior designer,
certainly not a man engaged in the important business of running this duchy.
And they had seemed privately amused by his ignorance.
He
had hated them on sight.
Those
alien faces sketched in a cartoon of hauteur, the inhuman poise that underlay
their polite interest in the furnishings—everything about them made him feel
like some bloody yokel, a bumpkin displaying his backwoods sty as though it
were a palace. They made this magnificent room feel like something an infant
might fingerpaint in his own shit.
He
could dismiss the insult to himself, but disrespect to the Company was
unforgivable. They made a joke of his entire life.
And
it was more than that, as the Administrator was not ashamed to admit. Those
overlarge, overslanted cat eyes of theirs, their misshapen skulls, brought to
mind the child-stealing bogymen that had haunted his dreams even through his
teens: they looked like the villains of a thousand childish terror tales.
They looked
like Greys.
Garrette
cleared his throat. "On the matter of, ahmn, Diamondwell, gentlemen—ah,
gentle, mm, gentlefolk ... ?" Damn this bloody Westerling! Had he insulted
them? The blasted language was purely clumsy. He was an Administrator, not some
damned diplomat. He was uncertain as to the actual relationship between
Diamondwell and House Mithondionne—weren't dwarfs and elves supposed to hate
each other, or something? He couldn't remember if that idea came from Overworld
history, or some damned fairy tale his mother had made him read as a boy.
And
now they were staring at him, all five of them. Garrette's face began to heat
up. The damned elves stared at him like they could read his mind.
"Ah,
yes, Diamondwell," one of them said—Quelliar was the name Garrette had
been given, and he'd taken this elf for the leader. "It was lovely. I
guested there, mmm, perhaps it was in the second decade of Ravenlock—that would
be, oh, nine hundred–odd years ago, as you humans reckon, Your Highness.
Spectacular, it was. Caverns that gleamed of travertine, and a jolly, sturdy
folk: fine cooks and uproarious dancers."
"Though
no ear for music," another put in.
"Ah,
but the rhythm," Quelliar countered. "For their taste, rhythm
outweighs pitch."
"Hmm,
true," a third said. "The stonebenders of those days did not speak of
an ear for music, but rather of a heart for dance."
Garrette's
face remained attentively blank, while inwardly he struggled to keep his
frustration from boiling down to fury. This was some kind of damned game for
them, he was sure of it.
A
lovely place indeed, he sneered
inside his head. He had seen those caverns: dark, dank, airless holes in the
rock, their only real value lying ignored in the stone. Those dwarfs had been
no better than savages, bowing down before their tribal fetish while the very
walls around them gleamed and glittered with untold mineral wealth. The
Company's geological survey still explored the caves, and each new report was
more exciting than the last; stoping had begun around the first two drill
sites, and the extracted ores had been found to be rich beyond imagining.
What
a waste, Garrette thought, as he
always did when he imagined all the centuries those dwarfs had squatted in the
caves. Diamondwell was the latest example of one of Garrette's primary rules: If
you don't know how to use something you have no call to complain when it's
taken by somebody who does. The stunted little troglodytes didn't even
really understand what they had lost.
But—as
always—it seemed that the solution had constructed a problem of its own. These
damned elves
One
had to respect their power, though. Every report had made that clear. Elves can
reach into your mind; they can make you hallucinate on command. This was
why every door to this room was posted with Overworld Company secmen—the
"Artan Guard"—wearing the latest magick-resistant ballistic armor and
bearing chemically powered assault rifles. At the very first indication that
Garrette saw something in this room that didn't belong, one shout would bring
six heavily armed men through those doors, and they would come in shooting. He
would not take the slightest chance.
And
if the damned elves could read his mind, let them read that there. Maybe
then they'd give him his due respect.
He
forced the thought away. That was nothing but a conflict rehearsal. He did this
too often; it was a bad habit that he'd been trying for years to overcome. Rehearsing
a conflict brings that energy into your life, he repeated to himself. It
was another of his primary rules.
Back
to business: He took a deep breath and tried again. "The,
ah, Diamondwell resettlement camp is not far from Thorncleft. Perhaps in
the morning, I might take you to it? You could see for yourselves how well they
are cared for."
Quelliar's
eyebrows slanted even more. "Like pets?"
"Like
partners," Garrette corrected firmly, but Quelliar seemed not to hear.
"Humans
and their pets," he said, impenetrably patronizing. His voice chimed with
alien laughter. "Who owns whom?"
"Valued
partners," Garrette insisted.
Two could play that I-don't-hear-you game, he told himself. "They have
been of such very great assistance in our mining—"
"Perhaps
our difficulties arise from language," Quelliar said graciously. "In
Mithondion, the sort of partners that must be confined by fences are called
cattle. Do you not know that word?"
Garrette
pasted on his professionally blank Administrator's smile while he strove to
guess at an appropriate response. He was rescued by the opening of a door. A
secman, assault rifle slung, took one uncertain step inside and closed the door
behind him; then he came to attention and saluted, his right hand to the brow
above the silver-mesh face shield of his antimagick helmet.
"Apologies
for interrupting, Administrator," he said in English. "The Monastic
Ambassador is in the hall."
"Raithe?"
Garrette said, frowning. What on Earth would the Ambassador be doing here at this
hour?
"Yes,
sir. In the hall outside."
"What
does he want?"
"He
wouldn't say, sir. But he insists that it's extremely urgent."
For
that matter, how the devil had the Monastic Ambassador gotten this far into
Thornkeep without Garrette having been informed? Garrette gave his head an
irritable shake. "Very well," he said crisply. "Tell his
Excellency that as soon as I have completed this business ..."
His
voice trailed off as the door swung silently inward to reveal Ambassador Raithe
standing patiently in the hallway beyond. The Ambassador stood very straight
and very still, his robes of crimson and gold draped like folds of stone. He
held his hands clasped before him in an unusual manner, his fingers knotted in
a way that Garrette's eyes could not clearly resolve.
"Oh,"
Garrette said faintly. Relief and gratitude flooded through him. "Oh,
thank God . . ." Raithe was here! At last! Garrette hadn't realized
how much he had missed Raithe, how much he had needed the simple
reassurance of his friend's presence. "Raithe!" he said, brightening.
Now that he was here, Garrette could breathe again. "Please, come in,
come in. I can't tell you how happy I am to see you."
The
Monastic Ambassador paced into the room. "And I am grateful to have
arrived in time. Send your guard back to his post."
"Of
course, of course." Garrette gestured to the secman, who went back to join
his partner in the hallway. "And shut the door, you idiot!"
"No
need," Raithe said quietly. He stared at the door, and the door swung
closed.
By
itself.
Garrette's
mouth dropped open. "What?"
Raithe
gazed down at the lock, and his colorless eyes narrowed. The lock gave out a
flat snikt that echoed in the silence like a rifle being slowly and
deliberately cocked.
"What?"
From
the door opposite came a similar click; Raithe glanced at the third door, and
its lock clicked. One by one the siege shutters banged closed over the windows,
and their locks secured as well.
"Raithe?"
Garrette ventured uncertainly. "Raithe, what are you doing?"
Raithe
compressed his lips slightly and met each pair of eyes in turn. He offered them
all a narrow smile. "I am preventing the escape of these assassins."
Quelliar
turned with the inhumanly deliberate grace of a cobra seeking the sun.
"Human child," he said. The chime of his amusement became the toll of
distant bells, ancient and cold. "I am the Eldest of Massa. The petty
tricks you display? I taught them to ten generations of your ancestors,
a thousand years before your birth, when humans were no more than our—" A
dark glance at Garrette. "—partners. Do not force us to demonstrate
that your elders are also your betters."
Though
the elf neither moved nor even changed expression, he was somehow the source of
a chilling wave of awareness that broke over Garrette and drenched him with
dread. It was as though Garrette suddenly awoke from some inexplicable dream:
he stared at the Monastic Ambassador in growing horror. Friends? How had he
believed they had ever been friends? He barely knew the man, and
privately considered him a tiresome fanatic, a borderline personality who
wavered between earnest dullness and freakish monomania. And the look Raithe
gave Quelliar, an unblinking stare of expressionless, psychopathic fixity,
began to transform Garrette's sudden dread into actual physical fear.
"I
am Raithe of Ankhana," he said, and struck his hands together: a rasping,
scraping clap as though he dusted sand from his palms in Quelliar's direction.
Nothing
happened.
The
elves still stared at him curiously. Garrette barely dared to breathe, praying
that this was some ungodly prank. Raithe folded his arms, a tiny smile of grim
satisfaction wrinkling the corners of his eyes. Quelliar coughed, once. His
companions turned to him.
Garrette
flinched, afraid to look, unable to resist.
The
elf's feathery brows drew together in astonishment; his head cocked like that
of a puzzled puppy. He sank slowly to his knees. Still looking only surprised,
not even alarmed—much less in any kind of pain—Quelliar vomited a gout of black
blood that splashed across the carpet. "I'm sorry," he said quietly,
to Garrette. "I'm very sorry."
Then
he pitched face first into the spreading pool of bloody vomit. He convulsed,
writhing, gagging up great scarlet-laced chunks that plopped from his lips, as
though something had diced his stomach, his liver, and his intestines and now
forced pieces of them up his throat. A spray of cherry-black droplets
splattered across the delicate embroidery of a Louis XIV couch.
Finally,
he made only fading aspirated grunts—"hghkh ... gkh .. . gkh . .
. ghhss"—and lay still.
"A
pleasure to make your acquaintance," Raithe said serenely. He raised his
eyebrows at the other elves, but their leader's sudden death seemed to have
astonished them into immobility. Garrette drowned in terror, shaking, unable to
breathe, certain that the elves somehow communicated with each other without
word or gesture, planning some unimaginable alien vengeance; Raithe, on the
other hand, turned aside as though they could be utterly dismissed.
Once
again he folded his hands in that unusual way, and Garrette's fear vanished;
even the memory of having been afraid shredded like smoke and blew away.
"Call your guards," Raithe said. "Have these murderers
shot."
And
because Raithe was, after all, one of Garrette's oldest friends, that was
precisely what he did.
9
The
Railhead once had been a square, a plaza in the midst of Lower Thorncleft; the
buildings that faced and surrounded it still stood beneath a ceiling that was a
graceful arc of steel beams and armorglass—like a medieval street preserved in
an Earthside tourist trap—and armorglass formed the walls that sealed the
streets that once had led into the plaza. Only the steel ribbons of the
railways entered unhindered. Massive steam-powered locomotives hauled laden
freight trains into the Railhead five times an hour. Little sunlight could
enter through armorglass blackened by near-constant coal smoke; gas lamps
illuminated the Railhead's interior twenty-four hours a day. Even at noon, all
within took on a greenish moonlit cast. Now, at night, everything became pale
and alien.
The
Overworld Company offices occupied a large building that once had been the townhome
of a prosperous merchant. It stood adjacent to the warehouse that had been
converted to hold the Overworld link of the transfer pump, and so a trace of
ozone and sulphur always hung in the office air: it smelled like Earth.
In
what had been the merchant's basement was the true nerve center of the offices:
nestled snugly below ground, within an Earth-normal field powered by the
transfer pump next door, was the Data Processing Center. Here, where the EN
field protected sensitive electronics from the randomizing effects of Overworld
physics, lay the computers and Earthside communications equipment that were the
brains of the Company.
Crossing
the threshold of the DPC awakened Garrette with a shock like a bucket of ice
water had been dumped on his head. He staggered, gasping, reaching blindly
around himself for something, anything, to hold on to, to support himself
against a shattering surge of panic.
A
strong hand took his; then a muscular arm enfolded his shoulders with
comforting warmth. He found himself staring into the ice-colored eyes of
Ambassador Raithe from close enough to kiss.
Garrette
screamed.
But
only a muffled moan came out past the hand Raithe clamped over his mouth.
"Shhh," Raithe murmured soothingly. "It's all right, Vinse; I
won't hurt you. Shh."
Garrette
trembled with shock, too frightened to struggle. He tried to swallow, failed,
and panted harshly through his nose until Raithe finally took the hand away
from his mouth. "What—? How did you—? My God—"
He
remembered it all: the death of Quelliar, the roar of assault rifles as the
secmen had broken down the doors of his drawing room and shot the elves to
rags. He remembered inviting Raithe to accompany him while he made his report
on the incident to his superiors—remembered sitting in the carriage beside him,
chattering like a schoolgirl, all the way from Thornkeep to the Railhead
Remembered
ordering everyone out of the DPC‑
Oh,
my God, Garrette moaned inside his
head, and his eyes rolled wildly in renewed panic. All that returned his
gaze were the mindless patterns of screen savers flickering across the screens
in empty cubicles. Oh my God, I did it, I sent everybody out of here—I'm alone
with him!
Raithe
gazed into his eyes as though his heart could be read there like a book.
"Vinse," he said slowly, cajolingly, "Vinse, Vinse, Vinse. Calm
yourself. I'm on your side. We're partners, now."
"But,
but, but, what did you do to me? How did you make me bring you in here?
And why? Why?"
"We're
here, Vinse, because as soon as you left my presence, you would have realized
that you had acted under my influence. We came here to speak because I wish you
to be persuaded, not controlled. Here—" His gesture took in the cubicles
and the glowing deskscreens. "—as you will understand, given only a moment's
thought, no power at my command can force your mind against your will. For our
partnership to prosper, I must reach your reason."
"My
reason—? Partnership?" Garrette squirmed and pushed himself away
from Raithe's encircling arm and turned to face him, livid with terrified
anger. "My God, man! Partnership? You've started a war!"
"No,
Vinse," Raithe said calmly. His lips bent in a smile both warm and sad.
"You started the war. All I've done is give you the chance to strike the
first blow."
Somehow
that smile stifled Garrette's urge to bluster. Instead, he turned away and sank
into the nearest chair. He swiveled around so that he could lean on the desk
and rest his face on his hands. "You're talking about Diamondwell."
"Of
course I am. The Diamondwell stonebenders have been allied with House
Mithondionne since before the Liberation. More than a thousand years. If those
legates had returned to T'farrell Ravenlock, having seen what they had seen,
war would have come whether you willed it or no. The war began when you
poisoned the Diamondwell aquifer."
"Oh,
my God," Garrette whispered. He dug his thumbs into the corners of his
eyes, struggling with a sudden suicidal urge to jam them in, to gouge his eyes
right out of his head. "Oh, my God. Why didn't you tell me?
You were here—you knew, you could see what was happening. Why didn't you
tell me?"
Raithe
shrugged. "Why should I?"
Garrette
lifted his head to stare at the Ambassador. His face felt raw and numb, as
though he'd been scalded by boiling water though the pain had not yet hit.
"Stop
a war between the limitless power of Arta and the greatest enemy of
Humanity?" Raithe said reasonably. "I would be mad to do so. Why
should the Monasteries care what losses you take? To rid the world of elves, no
price is too high—and war between the two of you costs us nothing at all."
"Then
w-why—" he stammered, "what are you doing . . . ? Why ... ? I mean,
you said, partnership ... ?"
"Oh
yes, Vinse. I am not blind to one vital, essential, overwhelming fact:
Artan or no, you are as human as I am."
I'm
a lot more human than you are,
you crazed savage, Garrette thought, but he kept his expression perfectly
neutral. Right now his situation was so impossibly desperate that he'd take any
help, from anyone—even this fanatical psychopath.
"And
I know, too," Raithe went on, "that you are not a warlike man. I know
that you prefer negotiation to violence, and that is admirable, Vinse; it is
truly—so long as there is a chance that negotiation will succeed. But there can
be no peace between species, Vinse; negotiation would only give the
elves more time to mass their forces and organize their campaign. That is why
the legates had to die as they did. Now, war is inevitable. It is your
sole remaining option. And it may be weeks, even a month, before House
Mithondionne learns the fate of its legates. Now, you are the one with
time as an ally. Use it wisely, Vinse. Prepare your strike."
"But,
but you don't understand," Garrette said hopelessly. "I can't just
declare a war! I don't have the authority . . . I have superiors, to whom I am
accountable—and even they are accountable to the, to the, er, the nobility of
Arta. Most of the, uh, the nobility would never accept a war--I would be
ordered to pursue a purely diplomatic solution."
Raithe
shrugged. "Can you not merely appear to do so? I may be able to offer you
clandestine allies to do the actual fighting."
Garrette
squinted at him, calculating. He imagined himself speaking before the Leisure
Congress, cloaked in statesmanship; he imagined offering the Company's services
as a peacemaker, an arbitrator, a go-between seeking an end to the violence
between two of Transdeia's valued neighbors
Not
only might he be able to protect the Company, his own career might yet be
saved.
"Allies?"
he said.
"Mm,
yes," Raithe replied judiciously. "I should think allies would be
very possible. What would . your superiors ... say to an alliance with
the Ankhanan Empire?"
"Ankhana?"
Garrette was dazzled by the sheer boldness of it. "You could arrange an
alliance with Ankhana?"
"Very
likely. Oh, to be sure, it would be informal—even secret, at first-but I should
think that the common interests of Arta and Ankhana could only serve to bind
them together more and more closely as time passes."
"How—how
would we go about this?"
"First,
as a gesture of good faith," Raithe said crisply, "you and your Aktiri
brethren can stop supporting Cainism within the Empire." Garrette
gasped and left his mouth hanging open.
Raithe
smiled thinly. "Do you forget how I came to be here? I have seen into your
mind. I know that Artans and Aktiri are one and the same. I know that
Caine was an Aktir, and that the Aktiri fight in the Cainist
cause."
"I--I--"
"I
also know—I should say, I believe—that the ultimate goals of the Empire,
the Monasteries, and Arta finally coincide. We all serve the Human Future. Is
this not so?"
"I,
well, I suppose—"
"Once
we've established normal relations between Arta and Ankhana, you can sell Artan
military magick to them—those springless repeating pellet bows would be
ideal—and I'd imagine they'd be more than happy to use them in the wholesale
slaughter of elves."
Garrette
bit his lip. It was an attractive idea, audacious, powerful, but . . .
"It's not that simple," he said. "There's no way we could keep
it a secret, and the nobility would resist even that.".
"The
nobility, the nobility," Raithe spat. "Does your king live in fear of
his nobility.?"
"We
have no king," Garrette said. How was he supposed to explain the Leisure
Congress so that Raithe's feudal mind would understand? "We have a . . a
ruling council of nobles. And my ultimate superiors form only a small fraction
of that council. Should the majority decide against us, we would be forced to
give way. We can't be seen to even prepare for war until we've already
been attacked."
"You
have been attacked," Raithe
said virtuously, "and treacherously—in your own chambers. Were it not for
the alert action of the Artan Guard, you would have been killed."
"Mmm,
maybe," Garrette said, "but some will find that a bit too convenient,
and a bit less than convincing. No, we can't do it that way."
Raithe
gave him a hard smile and reached out to put his hand on Garrette's arm.
Garrette met his gaze curiously, and then he realized why Raithe looked so
suddenly gratified: Garrette had begun speaking—and thinking—of Raithe and
himself as a we.
As a
partnership, with a common goal.
And
he found, too, that he felt gratified as well. He had never realized how lonely
he had become, how burdensome had been the weight of protecting the
Company's interests day after day, year after year. Raithe didn't seem to be
such a bad sort, after all, not really a psychopath, only a hard man—a violent
man, certainly, but he came of a violent culture, one not really advanced
enough to recognize the sanctity of human life
Not
that elves are actually human, anyway.
Garrette
was always careful to remind himself that an enlightened man does not judge
others by his own cultural standards, this was one of his primary rules.
"We
should be looking for some way to win the war before it even starts, but by accident,"
Garrette said. "We have to make it look like we never meant them any
harm."
"I
know that you—Artans, I mean—are an expansionist people," Raithe said
thoughtfully. "You must have found yourselves in conflicts with hostile
native populations in the past; I'm sure you've developed some kind of strategy
for dealing with them—some way of eliminating the threat that doesn't arouse
the resistance of the more fuzzy-minded among your nobility . . . ?"
Garrette
stared at him, his mouth slowly opening as he remembered another story from his
childhood, one of those whispered legends that Administrator kids tell each
other. It had to do with an Amerindian tribe .. . the Su? Something like that.
It didn't matter.
Suddenly
he was electrified by a jolt of possibility.
He
could do it. Right now Right here. The master stroke that would save the
Company, and save himself.
My
God, he thought. He rose, his hands
fluttering with jittery energy. "Raithe, I'm brilliant—I'm a
genius, by God, I've got it!"
He
clapped the Ambassador on the arm, and shook his hand, and barely managed to
stop himself from maiming his dignity by doing a little dance. He couldn't make
himself sit down; he swiveled the nearest deskscreen to an upward angle and
stroked it to life. As the screen saver vanished, he accessed the telecom
program and gave his identity code.
English,
he reminded himself. Have to
speak English with these people.
The
screen cleared to the cheerfully pretty face of a young man in Artisan dress.
"San Francisco Studio Central," he said happily. "How may I help
you?"
"I
am Administrator Vinson Garrette of the Overworld Company. This is a Priority
One Confidential call to your Chief of Biocontainment. Prepare for
encoding."
The
young Artisan's eyes widened sharply. He swallowed hard and said, "Yes
sir, Administrator! Preparing ..." Through the speaker came the sound of
fingers flitting over a keypad. "Prepared."
"Engage."
My
God, Garrette thought as he waited
for the Biocontainment chief to answer. My God, you must love me after all.
The
dark angel waited in bondage within a prison he had built, shackled by chains
of his own making. For a span of years, he had no food but his own body. He fed
upon himself gnawed his own bones, sucked out his own marrow.
He
did not know for what he waited, but wait he did, nonetheless.
On
one black day, there came the faintest whisper of distant trumpets, and the
dark angel stirred within his prison.
THREE
Hari
slid a hand inside the back of his toga, reaching for the ripple of scar at his
lumbar vertebrae. He massaged it fiercely through his chiton, trying to rub
away the ache; his back felt as if he were lying on a rock the size of his
fist. That dull pressure was as dim and rounded as painkillers could make it
without knocking him out altogether. He had work to do.
His
scar always hurt when he was at work these days; maybe it was this goddamn new
chair. It had looked good in the catalog, but somehow he couldn't get
comfortable. His back usually started to ache while he rode his private lift
down to his office—buried in the bedrock below the San Francisco Studio
Center—anticipatory twinges shooting up into his shoulders while the lift sank
its silent three stories. The ache would grow all day long, most days; usually
it was bearable.
Lately
it had been brutal.
This
goddamn chair .. .
I
should have kept Kollberg's, he
thought. He was a sack of fucking maggots, but he knew how to be
comfortable.
One
of the first things he'd done, when he'd finally won his struggle to actually
direct the operations of the SF Studio, was redecorate his office.
It
was something he'd always been—vaguely, more or less—planning to do, ever since
the Studio installed him here six years ago. At first, he'd taken a very real
malicious pleasure in sitting inside Arturo Kollberg's office suite, in using
the disgraced former Chairman's chair, his desk, staring at the ocean through
Kollberg's Sony repeater. But that kind of petty shit swiftly pales. Kollberg's
office furniture had been rounded, organic, womb-like, no sharp corners
anywhere—kind of like Kollberg himself. Hari had loathed this office just as
he'd loathed its former occupant, but for years it hadn't occurred to him that
he could change it just because he didn't like it.
It
had, in fact, never occurred to him that Kollberg had chosen his own
furnishings; things look different to a man who grew up Labor. This
wasn't just the office where the Chairman worked, it was the Chairman's
Office. It had seemed to him a sort of mythic sanctum, like the throne room
of an Overworld king, its trappings dictated by millennial tradition rather
than the whim of its occupant.
It
was funny, now—looking back on it, he could only shake his head with a rueful
smile. He'd always had a guilty suspicion that this office wasn't really his,
that he had been installed here as a piece of replaceable equipment, a
temporary plug-in until a real Chairman came along to take the job. Like a Fool
King in the Kirischan spring carnival, everyone would pretend he was in charge
only so long as he didn't try to make any laws.
The
Chairman's office was now a place of dark-grained paneling, deep pile carpet,
an immense wraparound desk of burled walnut imported from Overworld, walls
lined with heavy bookshelves filled with real books. He had a few plays, a few
histories, but nearly all fiction in leather-bound editions: fantasies,
mysteries, even some socially irresponsible, slightly risky works from the
vanished genre of science fiction. Most of them had been brought out from the
vault on Marc Vilo's estate. If anyone asked—say, the Board of Governors, or
even the Social Police--Hari could claim that he culled the old novels for
Adventure ideas; it gave him a perfect excuse to maintain a collection here
that he could never have kept at home.
The
only problem was, his fucking back still hurt.
The
analgesics he used helped a little, but not much. The Studio doctors wouldn't
give him anything stronger; they didn't really believe he was in pain. One of
them would occasionally remind him that the touch/pain receptors around his
wound had been severed when his bypass was installed—which was true; the scar
itself was numb as a slice of steak—and that he really couldn't be hurting, not
there.
He
was willing to allow that the pain might be psychosomatic. So what? It still
hurt.
Hari
had given up arguing with them. Instead, he carried a small bottle of
grey-market meperidine hydrochloride in his purse, which not only took the edge
off the pain of his back, but dulled the pain of his life, as well.
And
if it was all in his head, why did it hurt worse now, when he could sit
in a chair that he liked? His new chair was an old-fashioned highbacked
swivel, upholstered in calfskin over gelpack stuffing, more expensive and
better designed than the one in his study in the Abbey. It should have been
more comfortable than his goddamn bed, let alone that shapeless blob of
a chair he'd inherited from Kollberg.
He
forced his attention back to the display of his deskscreen, which was filled
with the latest inspection reports from the mining colony in Transdeia.
He'd heard some disturbing rumors about shit going on over there; Garrette, the
Overworld Company's Viceroy, was ruthless as a child molester, and some people
were saying he had been turning a blind eye to Transdeian pogroms against
subhumans on the duchy's borders. So Hari could fantasize about a surprise
inspection, dream of writing a report that would really stick Garrette's head
in the shitpot, and it would keep him happy enough for an hour or two
The
annunciator on his deskscreen bleeped for attention.
He
jumped a little, then shook his head and thumbed the acceptor. His itinerary
vanished behind an image of his secretary's weasely face. "Yeah,
Gayle?"
"It's
the soap booth, Administrator. They say it's urgent."
"Put
them through."
"Right
away, sir."
The
view changed to a nervous-looking man in tech whites. "Uh, Chairman
Michaelson, sorry to bother you—"
"Forget
it, technician. What's up?"
"Uh,
well, we got Rossi's visuals back. He's awake, and he doesn't seem injured
..."
"Mm,
that's good news."
Francis
Rossi was in one of Hari's pet projects, his Interlocking Serial Program. The
ISP involved ten different Actors, all doing three-month shifts in Ankhana.
Instead of the usual seven- to ten-day Adventure, their first-handers could
sign on for any length of time, from a few hours to a month, and they could
even switch back and forth between all the different Actors in the ISP. This
let the Actors lead something resembling normal lives in their Overworld
personae, let them develop significant relationships with natives and with each
other, since they didn't have the pressure of maintaining slam-bang
action-packed-adventure every minute. It made their experiences deeper and more
emotionally powerful, without the endless violence that other Studios used to
artificially generate excitement.
The
critics loved it; the audiences were somewhat less enthusiastic—they called
it by a derisive epithet that dated back to the early twentieth century: soap
opera—but Hari intended to stick with it as long as he could.
Hari
thought of it as a kinder, gentler form of Acting, less repugnant than the
wholesale slaughter that had made Caine, for example, so successful—and it was
certainly easier on the Actors. He'd been afraid Frank Rossi was going to be
the ISP's first fatality in two years.
On
Overworld, Rossi was known as J'Than, a freelance bounty hunter loosely
affiliated with the Ankhanan private security service Underground
Investigations. His story arc was usually the most action-oriented of the
entire ISP. J'Than projected a carefully cultivated facade of hardboiled
amorality; Hari had personally created the character, and had made Rossi read The
Maltese Falcon, The Underground Man, and The Last Good Kiss.
J'Than
had been nearing the end of his current three-month story arc, tracing a gang
of politically connected slavers. Last night, he'd swung a freelance security
gig at the hottest society show in Ankhana: The Nasty Little Princess at
Alien Games, which in its very first week was already being declared the hit of
the decade. He'd bribed his way past the off-duty PatrolFolk who guarded the
private boxes.
After
that, it had been far too easy.
The
whore assigned to that box had been very forthcoming; human, long-legged and
beautiful, she had dropped dazzling hints of where she might be able to lead
him, and had followed with a truly spectacular blowjob. With her raven hair
splayed across his loins and his penis buried deep in her throat, he never
heard the box's door open behind him. He didn't even know he was in trouble
until a bag went over his head and its drawstring mouth closed around his neck
tighter than the whore's lips around his cock.
When
his unknown assailant choked him out, the techs in the soap booth switched his
audience over to another Actor in a related storyline, also present at the
premiere. When Rossi wasn't immediately strangled to death, two impromptu
betting pools sprang up, one predicting the time and the other the method of
his eventual demise. But by 1000 this morning, he was still alive, and still
unconscious.
"Okay,
he's awake, great," Hari said. "Switch his audience back." Why
were they bothering him with this? They knew what to do—all this was SOP,
covered in the ISP guidelines that were posted on each screen in the techbooth.
"Thanks for the report, technician."
"Uh,
Administrator, wait—that's not, I mean, I think there might be a problem . .
."
Hari
sighed. "All right. Go ahead."
The
tech explained. They had been casually monitoring Rossi's telemetry, waiting
for him to wake up. They had the usual instructions: to switch his
audience back to his storyline when he recovered consciousness. When the hero
is taken by the bad guys, something interesting usually follows, whether it be
a climactic confrontation with the main villain or a simple death by torture.
But
Francis Rossi woke up in a forest.
And
not in a forest, too. His transponder signature clearly still came from
Ankhana—from Alientown, in fact: almost certainly from inside Alien Games.
"You're
sure of that?"
"Yes,
sir; all diagnostics check out. Uh, you think I could pipe his POV through to
your desk, sir? It's easier to just show you than it is to explain." "Yeah, sure," Hari said, frowning.
"Put him on."
The
image on his deskscreen became noontime in a forest, in the midst of a sort of
jumbled shantytown, built of woodland scraps—Populated with elvish corpses.
Rossi's
POV rolled smoothly through the shambles, as though he were mounted on wheels
and someone pushed him from behind. The bodies lay strewn haphazardly in the
clear areas, some fresh as beef in a slaughterhouse, some blackened with decay,
bellies swollen to bursting with internal gases. Rossi's involuntary retching
echoed in the booth.
Hari's
mouth compressed into a grim line, and he reflected that being confined to a
desk job had its advantages: Caine had been in places like that more than once,
and he had a vivid memory of how they smell.
The
belly of one of the corpses burst with a sound like a wet, sloppy fart. Rossi's
POV panned right and left, showing the extent of the carnage—bodies everywhere,
some hacked to pieces, most just dead—and then dollied forward once again.
It
was that motion, that familiar net-feature swing of POV, that gave it away.
Hari's fingers began to tingle. With one startling intuitive leap, he
understood exactly what was happening. Whoever had Rossi was using him like a
video camera.
This
was bad; for Rossi, this was about as bad as it could get. They know he's an
Actor.
Garbled,
hissing semiwords came over the techbooth's speakers, the broken half phrases
of the mainframe's translation protocol struggling with an unfamiliar language.
The telemetry readout of Rossi's heart rate and adrenal production had shot
deep into the red end of the scale, dangerously high. "What's that
language?" Hari asked. "You have analysis yet?"
"The
TP doesn't recognize it, sir. Maybe some kind of elvish dialect, you
think?"
Elvish
dialect my ass, Hari thought.
"Look at his telemetry. I think Rossi understands, even if the TP
doesn't. He's scared out of his fucking mind—he's not even monologuing, for
Christ's sake. Frank's a pro; it takes more than some rotting bodies to make
him forget his Soliloquy."
Now
the view on the POV screen swung to its first image of a living creature: a
bald, sickly looking elf with no eyebrows, tall and broad shoul dered for
his race. He wore a simple, new-looking shift of clean white, belted at the
waist over leggings of forest brown. He walked toward Rossi with a peculiar
staggering limp, as though his legs didn't work well and he had to throw his
weight from side to side to keep his feet under him.
When
he spoke, the techbooth speakers muttered gibberish.
"Who's
this guy?" Hari asked.
"Don't
know, sir. We've seen him once already. He seems to be the captor." Hari stared at the screen. "Close the
translator."
"Sir?"
"Shut
down the translation protocol."
"But
sir, then the computer won't have a chance to analyze the phoneme—"
"Listen
to me, you idiot. This whole thing is staged, you get it? He's not in a
forest, he's in Ankhana. At Alien Garnes. This is a little play, and we're
the audience. They're sending us a message, and they damn well sure
wouldn't go to this much trouble and then use a language we can't understand. Close
the fucking translator."
"Yes,
sir."
Closing
the program silenced the speakers for two or three seconds; then they came on
again with the elf's unfiltered voice, exactly as it fell on Rossi's ears.
"...
no reason to bother showing you what you already know you're doing to
us, here on the borders of Transdeia: the murders of our people, and the rape
of our land by your mining machines ..."
The
mikes on the techs' screens in the booth were sensitive enough that Hari could
hear them both whisper Holy crap in perfect unison. Yeah, he
thought. That about sums it up.
The
mysterious dialect spoken by the bald, sickly looking elf with no eyebrows was
easy to understand.
It
was English.
The
sole defender of the part-time goddess was the crooked knight. He was the
reflection of knighthood in a cracked mirror, and what he did, he did backward.
The
crooked knight wore no armor, and he did not care for swords. He was small and
thin, ugly and graceless. He could not ride a warhorse, and no squire would
serve him. He was a deceiver, a manipulator, his life built upon a lie.
His
strength was the strength of ten, because his heart was stained with
corruption.
FOUR
Ankhana
spread like a canker across the valley floor, a rank and oozing fester that
drained its sewage and manufacturing waste into the river that men called the
Great Chambaygen. As the barge lumbered round a riverbend far to the north and
east of the Imperial capital, the city coalesced out of the pall of smog that
covered it: a ragged blot upon the earth, washed by the haze of intervening
miles to the necrotic grey of dead flesh.
At
the bow of the riverbarge stood a fey in woolen clothes tattered by time and
hard travel. He looked as though the clothes may have fit him once, long ago—he
had the frame for it, broad shouldered for one of the First Folk—but now they
hung on him as though on a rack. His face had been carved into deep lines:
scars of privation and grief deeper than any a true primal ever shows. His hair
stuck straight out from his scalp around his sharply pointed ears: a platinum
brush the length of the first joint of his thumb. His boots might have been
fine, if they were not so battered; for a belt, he wore a thick-braided hemp
throwline, tied around his waist. He bore no purse, and in place of a
gentleman's weapons he had only the mop on which he leaned.
He
stared downriver at Ankhana, and his knuckles whitened on the mop's handle. His
lips pulled back over teeth sharp as a wolf's, and his great golden eyes, their
pupils slitted to razored vertical lines in the afternoon sun, burned with barely
controlled desperation. Once, not so long ago, he had been a prince.
His
name was Deliann.
"You
workin', decker?" the foredeck second rasped behind him. "Or you
fuckin' off?"
The
primal gave no sign that he heard.
"Hey,
shitsuck, you think I'm not talkin' to you?"
Thunderheads
spread like a hand extended to grasp the towering twin-bladed spire of the
Colhari Palace; they grumbled and spat lightning at the earth. He could
see, even from this distance, that the threatened rain held off the black-brown
coal smoke of the Industrial Park still hung thickly over the northern quarters
of the city. No rain had yet come to drive it down from the autumn sky and wash
it into the river.
Another
storm, another fishkill: the runoff from Ankhanan streets slew river life
wholesale. Deliann shook his head bitterly. You have to go a week downriver
before you can drink the water again. And my brothers like to remind me that I
am one of these people.
But
I'm not. I'm not.
What
I am is worse.
For
more than a thousand years that city had fouled these waters, from its very
birth as a river pirates' camp on the island that was now Old Town. Panchasell
Mithondionne himself had laid siege to the city, more than nine hundred years
ago, leading the Folk Alliance against it when the city was a haven for
feral humans during the Rebellion. He had fallen there, killed in his final
failed assault, passing the lordship of his house, and all the First Folk, to
the Twilight King, T'farrell Ravenlock.
This
is where we lost, Deliann thought.
The Folk had fought the ferals for decades beyond the Siege of Ankhana, but
this had been the turning point of the war. Now, nearly a millennium later,
even feys who were themselves veterans of the Feral Rebellion, who had
fought the ferals hand-to-hand, no longer called them ferals. Everyone
called them what they called themselves: human—"of the humus."
The
Dirt People.
"Hey"
Now the voice behind him was
accompanied by a rough shove on the shoulder and a short rrrip of tearing
cloth—the foredeck second's fighting claw had tangled in Deliann's shirt. He
turned to face the foredeck second, an aging ogrillo with a rumpled mass of scar
where his left eye used to be and a broken ivory stump where his left tusk had
once jutted up from his undershot jaw. The foredeck second kept his snout
canted slightly to the primal's right so that he could look down at him with
his remaining red-gleaming eye.
"You
know the only thing I hate worse'n fuckin' lazy-ass deckers tryin' to scam
their passage?" The ogrillo leaned close enough to hook out Deliann's eye
with one twitch of his tusk. "Fuckin' elves, that's what.
Now: You moppin'? Or you swimmin'?"
The
primal barely glanced at the second; he looked up, beyond the ogrillo's
shoulder, at the twin teams of ogre poleboys that now jammed their
thirty-foot lengths of oiled oak hard into the river's bed. The
teams—each made up of six ogres nine or more feet tall, weighing over
half a ton apiece—leaned into their poles in slowly counted cadence, pitting
their massive muscles against the barge's momentum, their clawed feet digging
furrows in the barge's deck cleats.
"Why
are we stopping?" he asked tonelessly.
"You
stupid, shitsuck? Ankhana's top port on the river—our slip don't come open till
afternoon tomorrow." The foredeck second grunted a laugh as ugly as he
was. "You think 'cause we a day early, you don' gotta make you full
passage-work? Fuck that. You work, elf. Or you fuckin' swim."
"All
right. I'll swim."
Deliann
opened his hands to let the mop handle drop to the deck. Expressionlessly, he
turned and gathered himself to leap into the water, but the foredeck second was
too quick: his heavy hand closed around the primal's arm, the fighting claw
below the thumb digging into the primal's ribs, and hauled him roughly back to
the deck. "Not fuckin' likely," the ogrillo snarled. "You owe
one more day's work, shitsuck. What're you, some kind of Cainist? Think
you can do what you fuckin' want?"
"I'm
not sure what a Cainist is," Deliann said. "But you should let me go."
"Fuck
that. No fuckin' elf scams me."
He
yanked Deliann's arm upward, inflicting a little preliminary pain and pulling
him off balance. He expected a struggle or even a fight, and was more than
ready for either-but instead, the skinny, haggard primal went absolutely still.
"You want to take your hand off me."
The
ogrillo's hand sprang stiffly open, and his fighting claw flattened back
against his forearm. He frowned at his hand in disbelief. "What the
fuck?"
"I've
endured you for five days," Deliann said distantly, "because I had no
swifter course for Ankhana. Now I'm leaving, and you can't stop me."
"My
ass," the ogrillo said, lifting his other hand and making a fist to curl
his fingers out of the way of his fully extended fighting claw. There was no law
on the Great Chambaygen save what the barge crews made for themselves and no
one would task a deck officer for the maiming or death of a mere decker.
"I'll gut you like a fuckin' trout."
The
creases that hunger and hard travel had etched into the primal's face deepened
now, and transformed into something like age—impossible age, as though Deliann
looked down into the world from some millennial distance—and the ogrillo's fist
dropped limply to his side.
The
ogrillo snarled, his vented lips pulling back from his tusks, and wrenched his
shoulders as though his arms were held by invisible hands that he could shake
off—but they weren't. They swung freely, but not under his command. Both arms
hung dead from his shoulders.
"I'm
elfshot," he muttered with growing amazement that swiftly became
righteous fury. "Fucker elfshot me! Yo, carp!" Along
the entire length of the barge, heads came up at the foredeck second's yell.
Though
the river is a lawless bound, there are a few traditions that the barge crews
honor above their lives, and none more than this one. In seconds, all twelve
ogres had shipped their poles; all the cargoboys had dropped their bottles, set
down their cards, and put away their dice. Even the deckers, the poorest of the
river scum who worked for nothing more than food and transport, set aside their
buckets and their brushes and mops and picked up belaying pins and cargo hooks,
and every one of them came running full tilt toward the bow.
Deliann
watched them come with only a slight tightening of his feathery brows. The
nearest ogre-then another, then a third—pitched forward and slammed
thunderously to the deck, howling and clutching thighs knotted in convulsive
cramps that crippled them as effectively as a knife to the hamstring.
The
rest of the crew had to slow their headlong rush to pick their way around and
over the writhing ogres; before they could, a sheet of flame twenty feet high
sprang up from the deck to bar their path.
"It's
just a Fantasy!" the ogrillo yelled. "It's just fuckin' elf
magick, you morons! It can't really hurt you!"
Apparently
some of the crew knew, as the foredeck second did, that most of the magicks
worked by the First Folk operate on the mind of the victim only; braver than
their fellows, they leaped through the fire and staggered screaming across the
deck, clothes and hair blazing, trailing smoke and flame as they dived for the
river.
The
foredeck second's good eye blinked, and squinted, and blinked again. "Elf
magick can't really hurt you," he repeated numbly.
"That
might be true," Deliann said, "if I were really an elf."
He
reached up and grabbed the foredeck second by his one good tusk and hauled the
ogrillo's face down to his own with shocking strength. He put his lips against
the ogrillo's ear-cavity and said softly but distinctly, "I don't like
violence. I don't want to hurt you, or anyone else. But I'm leaving. I
don't have time to be gentle. If anyone comes after me, I'll kill them. You
understand? And then I'll come back here, and I'll kill you. Tell me you
understand."
The
ogrillo stepped back and tossed his head, trying to rip his tusk free, but this
skinny, almost fleshless fey had astonishing power in his hand and arm. He
yanked the ogrillo close once more, and now smoke leaked' from within his grip,
smoke that reeked of burning ivory as the tusk scorched against his palm; the
ogrillo gave out a low moan that rose toward a despairing shriek.
"Tell
me you understand," he repeated.
"I,
I, I--I get it," the ogrillo whimpered. "Go just go!"
Deliann
opened his hand, and the ogrillo staggered, his tusk blackened where the primal
had held it. He nearly fell into the flames, but as he stumbled back the fire
died as though smothered by an invisible blanket, leaving only a broad line of
smoldering embers across the deck.
Deliann
turned to the bow and looked down, to be certain none of the crewmen who'd
sought the river were in his way below, then he dived in and swam strongly to
the bank. He pulled himself from the water and struck out running along the
river without so much as a bare glance back at the barge: running hard
for Ankhana.
Manblood,
he could hear his brothers sneer.
It was their favorite jab. Always must be doing; never can be being. That
manblood—like a human, you throw time away. Like a wastrel who finds a pouch of
gold in the street, you have so little that spending what little you have means
nothing.
Maybe
so, he answered them inside his
head, but right now, I have more time than you do. And he wanted so
desperately to be wrong about that; the ache of his wish that this was not true
burned his heart like the fire he'd set on the barge's deck.
Ankhana's
outskirts lay three miles ahead along the flat floodplain, and night
lowered upon the city with the rain.
He
had an ugly, stumbling run, as though his legs belonged to someone else—as
though both were half crippled, and his natural gait was the average of two
conflicting limps. Despite this, he ran hard and fast, pulling Flow to power
his overworked muscles, and made the shantytown that surrounds Ankhana's
Warrens in a quarter of an hour.
The
storm swung out to meet him, and soaked him thoroughly in rain that reeked of
sulphur. Without slackening his pace, he turned up the road that circled
northward around the Warrens and the Industrial Park.
Even
the empty-eyed human dregs that crowded these outlying slums had a moment to
spare to spit at him as he passed; to hurry past humans as though he had
someplace to go was disrespectful. Ankhana was the heart of the human lands,
and the only Folk who had ever been welcome here were those who knew
their place.
Finally
he reached Ankhana's Folk ghetto, Allentown, and he released the swirl of Flow
that had given him strength. He needed more attention than mindview could spare
him, if he wished to negotiate these narrow, crowded streets, jostling and
being jostled by countless shoulders of primal, stonebender, ogrillo, and human
alike.
As
night fell, even some trolls took to the streets; now and again one would pause
to speculatively watch him pass, and to make hungry sucking noises as it
inhaled the drool that leaked around its curving tusks. The stench stole breath
from his lungs; the noise and sheer restless energy of this place made his head
swim. The filth, the waste, the emptiness he saw in the eyes of the Folk
here—Ankhana had been the reason he'd left humanity behind for the deepwood.
Alientown
had been transformed in the twenty-odd years since he'd last walked these
streets. Then, it had been a tiny cramped ghetto, jammed with primals,
stonebenders, treetoppers, ogrilloi and their giant cousins—all scraping out
bare livings on the fringes of the capital, selling their strength and the use
of their bodies to their human masters, losing themselves in narcotics and
drink, snarling and snapping at each other like rats in an overcrowded cage.
In
the old days, human constables had kept order in five-man patrols, their brutal
tactics and free use of their iron-bound clubs earning them the nickname headpounders;
now, it seemed that the pounders had been replaced by teams of two—one
human and one Folk, usually primal or stonebender. The humans wore black and
silver, the Folk scarlet and gold. Again and again, Deliann saw these pairs
shouldering through the streets, breaking up fights, forestalling arguments,
opening the crowds before the carriages of the wealthy. He could only shake his
head in wonder.
Twenty
years ago, wearing those colors had announced membership in two of the powerful
Warrengangs, the Subjects of Cant and the Faces—but neither of those gangs had
had territory in Alientown, and the Faces had certainly never extended their
membership to include Folk. And those gangs had been criminals the Faces
had been peddlers of flesh and illegal narcotics, and the Subjects of Cant had
been pickpockets and beggars, with strong sidelines in protection and
extortion. How they had been transformed into a public constabulary, he could
not imagine.
The
ghetto had tripled or even quadrupled in size, bulging outward like a colony of
fungus, and now, at night, it bloomed like a pitcher plant, sticky-sweet and
dangerously inviting. A riot of colored lights clashed into muddy rainbows on
the wetly glistening cobbles: light cast from blazing coronal signs that
wreathed hulking hotels and casinos.
These
signs proclaimed the entertainment to be found within: games from knucklebones
and roulette to cockfighting, bearbaiting and human/ Folk/ogrillo cross-species
pit-fighting; food from the most exquisite imported tophalmo wings to
all-you-can-eat spiced-pork-and-cornmeal buffets; drink ranging from grain alcohol
to Tinnaran brandy; narcotics from simple roasted rith to exotic powders
that make one's darkest fantasy feel as sharply real as a poke in the eye;
whores to suit any species, sex, age, experience, and taste, from delicate
pederasty to the kind of action where the price includes on-site postcoital
medical care.
Twenty
years ago, when somebody wanted something special in Alientown, something that
he just couldn't find anywhere else—it might be illegal, or seductively
dangerous, or simply too repugnant for widespread popularity—he'd go to an
establishment called the Exotic Love. The Exotic Love seemed, to all
appearances, to be a small, well-appointed, rather exclusive brothel, just off
Nobles' Way; but once a man became a regular, once he had shown he could be
trusted—that is, once the proprietor had acquired enough blackmailworthy
evidence that this fellow dared not take a breath without permission—he would
find himself ushered into a sensual world of literally infinite possibility. At
the Exotic Love, nothing was out of reach; it was merely expensive.
But
now, it seemed that all of Alientown had been transformed into a street-bazaar
version of the Exotic Love, and the place itself could not be found. Deliann
stood in the street, staring blankly up at the sign of the fungist who had
taken over the building just off Nobles' Way. He read mechanically down the
list of stimulant, narcotic, and hallucinogenic spores for sale within; this
was a futile self-deception, a dodge to briefly postpone the moment when he
would realize that he had no guess what to do next.
He
had come so far
Light
fingers brushed his flanks, where most Folk carry their purses. Deliann's hand
flicked almost too fast to be seen, and he hauled the owner of those fingers
around in front of him: a dirty-faced human child. "Sorry, fey, sorry—I
just tripped," the boy said hastily.
"This
place," Deliann said heavily. "This place was once called the Exotic
Love. What happened to it?"
The
boy's eyes went wide and round, then closed to streetwise slits. "Hey, I
don't whistle that tune—but I gotta sister, she's eleven, never done
nothing but the once awhile blowjob—"
"That's
not what I asked for."
"Right,
right—truth: she's thirteen, but I swear—"
Deliann
shook him once, hard. "The Exotic Love," he repeated.
The
boy's eyes rolled, and suddenly he screamed with shocking, painful volume, "Short-eyes!
Short-eyes! Get this Cainist buttfucker offa me!"
The
boy kicked him in the shin—it hurt less than his shout—and wrenched his arm
free. He dashed away and vanished into the crowd, many of whom now stared at
Deliann with gathering hostility, muttering darkly among themselves. One took
it upon himself to express the general sentiment: "Short-eyes motherfucker
. . . Wanna stick a kid, y'oughta pay for it like decent folks!"
It
might have turned uglier—some in this crowd looked to be the sort to enjoy a
casual stomping, and none of these could see any hint in this ragged, exhausted
looking primal of just how lethal the attempt might turn out—but shouldering
through the crowd came a tall man in a chain-mail byrnie of black and silver,
and a thickly muscled stonebender in a scarlet-and-gold cloth kirtle.
"All
right, all right, shove it over," the stonebender repeated tiredly,
stepping on toes, elbowing ribs, occasionally giving this one or that an
encouraging shove. Her short arms were knotted like cypress knees; when she
shoved, people moved. "Break it up. Keep it moving — yah, you, shit-in-the-head.
Get going."
The
man came over to Deliann and sized him with a cold stare. "Got trouble,
woodsie? Or looking for some? Either way, we're here for you."
"What
I'm looking for," Deliann said slowly, "is the feya who used to run
the brothel here."
"Here?"
His brow wrinkled. "Don't think so. Ruufie--the fungist, here—he's been
here, what? More'n eight years, I'd have to guess–since before I came on
Patrol. Hey, Taulkg'n, you know of any brothel here?"
His
partner snorted into her beard and muttered something Deliann half heard, that
might have been a derisive comment on humanity's short lives and shorter
memories. She gave the last of the onlookers a healthy shove down the street
and turned back. "Yah, the Exotic Love, useta be."
"The
Exotic? No shit." The man's eyes lit up, and a half smile canted his
mouth. "Hey, Taulkie, this woodsie's looking for the Duchess."
The
stonebender approached, her fists on her hips. She looked Deliann up, then
down, then up again, and shook her head sadly. "Don't bother, woodsie. She
won't see you."
"I
don't know any duchesses," Deliann said patiently. "The feya I want
went by the name Kierendal."
"That's
her," the man said. "They just call her the Duchess because she's
fucked better'n half the Cabinet."
The
stonebender trod heavily on her partner's toes. "Mind your manners."
"Just
tell me where I can find her."
"She
runs Alien Games, now—"
"Alien
Games? That whole-block complex, back on Khazad-Lun?" "Yah, but she
won't see you, woodsie, I'm tellin' you. She's busy, you hear? She's an
important—"
Deliann
missed the rest of what the stonebender tried to tell him: he was already
running.
2
Alien
Games squatted at the center of the swamp that was Allentown like an immense,
malignant toad queen, glistening with multicolored slime. Only eight years old,
it had already grown until it swallowed every adjacent building; now the size
of its footprint exceeded that of the Colhari Palace itself. Three restaurants,
seven saloons, four casinos, two theaters, and dozens of performance booths of
varying sizes and degrees of privacy—within that complex could be purchased
anything from cigars to sudden death, with room charges prorated by the hour.
It shone like a beacon that might be seen from the moon, ringed by a gigantic
halo. The halo was the rainbow reflection that scattered from a stupendous
bubble of force—a titanic Shield—that enclosed the entire structure, made
faintly visible by the drizzle that collected on its surface and trailed to the
streets.
Deliann
leaned against a wall of rain-slickened limestone, within the mouth of an alley
down the street. The soggy wool of his tunic dragged at his shoulders. The
runoff that dripped onto his face from the eaves above had a faintly acid,
chemical taste, and he stood just deep enough within the shadows of the alley
mouth that his face picked up only dim highlights from the lurid scarlet,
green, and golden glare.
Alien
Games blazed even brighter in mindview than it did to normal vision. A gigantic
vortex of Flow towered above it, impossibly vivid intertangling rivers of
crimson and amethyst, ichor and viridian, azure and argent curling like party
streamers down toward the roof. At the perimeter of the Shield bubble stood
massed crowds of onlookers, peering at the nobles, celebrities, and society
brilliants who alighted from each carriage of the endless train as it pulled to
a stop at the purple velvet carpet that ascended the broad marble steps. The
onlookers leaned on the Shield as if it were glass, pressing their noses
against it as though they could will themselves from the chill damp darkness outside
to the endless summer noon within.
A
marquee the size of a riverbarge burned on the roof of the immense vaulted
portico, proclaiming the Senses-Shattering World Premiere of some
vulgar-sounding show featuring performers of whom Deliann had never heard.
He
spent a moment studying the operation of the bubble. Clearly, it consisted of
several overlapping Shields; Alien Games must employ six or seven thaumaturges,
probably human, to maintain it. Whenever a carriage would approach along the
street, its footmen forcing a path through the crowds, a gap would open, just
large enough for the carriage and its attendants to pass; then the gap would
close behind them like a gate to keep the rabble out. Some of the Shields
would be semipermanent, charged in advance like those that sheltered the entire
complex from the drizzle outside, maintained by stored power instead of the
disciplined mind of a thaumaturge, but the ones that opened like gateways must
be the work of men, not crystals. He could slip through one of the crystaled
Shields without too much difficulty and without raising much of an alarm–but
then he'd have to find some other way to attract Kierendal's attention.
He
moved out into the street.
He
forced his way through the press, ignoring the countershoves and curses that
pursued him. When he reached the midstreet point where the carriages had been
passing through, he wedged his arms between a large human and a small troll.
"Excuse me," he said politely.
The
human and the troll looked down at the ragged, bone-thin primal between them,
then smirked at each other. The human said, "Piss off, elf. Find your own
spot."
"I
have," Deliann told them, and shoved them violently apart. They stumbled
into the people to either side, neither remotely prepared for Deliann's
preternatural strength. The troll wisely recognized that this fey had unknown
resources, and faded back, muttering darkly to itself in its native speech of
grunts and slurps; the human, less intelligent, decided to take exception.
"Hey,"
the man said, "hey, you little bastard, who you think you're
shoving?"
Deliann
stood still, waiting, feeling a little sick.
The
man raised a heavy fist. "I'm gonna enjoy making—"
Deliann
interrupted him with a stiff overhand right that smashed blood from the human's
nose. The human's eyes filled with blinding tears, and Deliann kicked
him solidly in the balls. While the man folded, Deliann stepped around him, put
one hand on the back of the man's head and the foreknuckle of his other hand
against the man's upper lip. The knuckle against the man's shattered nose was
more than enough to stand him up and bend him over backward until he fell to
the ground.
When
he had the man arranged on the ground to his satisfaction, Deliann kicked him
once more: the toe of his boot stabbed with exceptional precision into the
man's solar plexus. The man curled into a fetal knot of pain, his breath coming
in ragged, broken gasps.
Deliann
straightened. He eyed the surrounding crowd expressionlessly. "Anyone
else?"
No
one offered themselves.
He
bared his exceptionally long, sharp, carnivore's teeth. "Then back
off.'
He
turned away, unable to hide the twist of revulsion on his face. To do such
things gently would require him to be clever, and he was too tired to be
clever; it would require imagination, and that he dared not touch. For two
weeks his imagination had given him nothing but the color of screams, the
texture of dead children, the smell of genocide.
Inside
the endless summer noon of the bubble, the ushers and footmen all wore livery
of scarlet and gold; flanking the door were six sleepy ogres, up past their
bedtime in full field armor, their steel enameled in the same colors so that it
gleamed like glazed pottery. They held their blood-colored halberds extended at
parade rest.
Deliann's
mindview showed him no swirls of Flow around anyone on the street, except for a
tiny whorl that brought a bright glow to the jewelry of the beefy woman who
descended from a carriage with the help of two solicitous porters. He nodded to
himself. With any luck, all he'd have to deal with out here would be ordinary
guards.
In
mindview, he tuned his Shell to the shifting pattern of the Shield in front of
him and took the measure of the thaumaturge who maintained it. The man was
barely third-rate; this Shield was hard-pressed to hold back the rain, much
less the crowd that pushed against it. Deliann gathered Flow, focused it into a
lance of power, and punched through the Shield with the brisk efficiency of an
injection. His Shell was tuned delicately enough to register the scarlet grunt
of pain from the thaumaturge; with little effort, he swelled his lance of Flow
until it forced open a door-sized hole in the Shield, and he stepped through.
The
crowd at his back stared in silent wonder: to normal sight, he had effortlessly
walked through the bubble that had resisted their best strength. They surged
against it behind him, but he had already released his power, and the Shield
was once again solid as a wall. The thaumaturge inside would have no illusions
about what had happened, though; he should have already sounded some sort of
alarm.
Sure
enough, within the space of a single breath an elegant primal in formal evening
wear detached himself from the group at the doorway and touched the shoulders
of a pair of burly stonebenders in the scarlet footmen's livery; the trio
approached him over the dry cobbles of the Shielded street as quickly as they
could without appearing to hurry.
They
met Deliann twenty yards from the entrance, arrayed in a loose arc that
effectively barred his path without being so obvious as to be rude. The fey was
tall and graceful, and his dark suit was immaculately tailored; his
manicure gleamed like his buttons as he clasped his hands together and leaned
politely toward Deliann. "May I help you, sir?"
"Yes,
you may," Deliann said, brushing between him and one of the stonebenders
as though they were not there. "Announce me."
"Sir?"
the fey said delicately,. in an eloquently dubious tone that described, in one
word, the tatters of Deliann's clothing, the wear of his boots, his hempen
belt, and the unnatural creases that marked his face. He followed at Deliann's
shoulder, and the stonebenders brought up the rear; Deliann could hear them
cracking their knuckles.
Deliann
said, "You may announce me as the Changeling Prince, Deliann Mithondionne,
Youngest of the Twilight King."
The
fey took this without even a blink. "Does the prince have a
reservation?"
Deliann
kept walking.
"Please,
Your Highness," the fey murmured smoothly, well practiced in his technique
of handling lunatics, which he clearly presumed Deliann to be, "this is
not an insuperable difficulty. We have a section reserved for visiting royalty;
if the prince would care to follow me?"
Deliann
could guess exactly what awaited him if he did so: a savage beating in a
darkened room, his unconscious and bleeding body dumped on the street outside
the bubble as a salutary example for any other gate crashers. "That won't
be necessary," he said. "I didn't come for the show. I'm here to see
KierendaL"
"Please,
sir; I'm afraid I must insist."
Hands
as hard as the roots of a mountain seized his arms. The pair of stonebenders
bent him forward with efficient leverage, making him look as though he'd half
fainted and he needed their help to walk; in fact, his boots barely brushed the
cobbles. For one moment, his exhaustion dipped him into unresisting comfort,
the childhood ease of being carried, even though their grip hurt his arms—but
they were taking him the wrong way. He got his feet beneath him, and he opened
his mind.
Far
above, the arc of the Shield shimmered in the mental light cast by the vortex
of Flow. In one second, his Shell extended to fifteen times the height of a man
and touched that Shield; in the next second, he had grasped its harmonic and
tuned his Shell to it. Resonating perfectly, his Shell slid through the
Shield's arc and touched an argent ribbon in the vortex above. In the next
second, the lights went out.
Darkness
fell like a hammer.
The
sudden absence of those myriad colored lights stunned the crowd to an immobile
silence, likewise the footmen, even the horses that drew the carriages—it
was like being struck blind. For a second that stretched toward infinity, the
street was utterly dark, utterly silent, held like the breath of a child
looking for the monster under his bed.
Then
Deliann burst into flame.
He
burned like a torch, like a bonfire, like a thousand magnesium flares struck in
a single instant; he burned as though every last foot-candle of the light that
had blazed like the sun around Alien Games had become fire that roared from his
flesh. The two stonebender footmen howled and staggered back from him, smoke
billowing from the seared flesh of their palms. The primal in formal wear
covered his face with his arms and screamed like a terrified child.
Deliann's
ragged clothes burned to cinders in an instant, a puff of ash that whirled up
into the night. His hair sizzled away. His bare flesh bore scars of recent
wounds, badly healed: a curving scab crossed his scalp, like a shallow sword
cut. One of his thighs was swollen, inflamed half again the size of the other,
and the shin of the other leg had a slight bend in the middle; at the bend grew
a knot on the bone the size of an apple.
Naked,
bald, engulfed in flame, he paced the purple carpet to the entrance, trailing
burning footprints.
Everyone
gave way before him except one of the ogres, braver or more stupid than the
rest: it made a tentative jab at him with its halberd. At the first touch of
the flames that howled around Deliann, the blade melted and dripped to a pool
of white-hot metal at his feet, and half the shaft flashed to broken coals.
The
firelight reflected from their eyes came back the color of fear.
"I'm
here to see Kierendal," Deliann said. "I don't have time to be
polite."
A
beige shimmer gathered in the air before him, and then a tall feya stepped
sideways from nowhere, as though an invisible door had opened edge-on in the
air.
Taller
than Deliann and even thinner, draped in an evening gown that glittered as
though woven of diamond, she was graceful as a soaring hawk. Her platinum hair
coiled high above her upswept ears in an extravagantly complex coif, and her
eyes glinted with flat reflections the color of money, like silver coins set in
her skull. The teeth that showed behind her thin bloodless smile were long and
needle-sharp, and the nail of the forefinger that she stretched toward him was
filed and painted to resemble a raptor's talon made of steel. "You,"
she said, "really know how to make an entrance. Want a job?"
For a
blank moment, Deliann could only stare through the flames; then he began,
"Kierendal—"
"I
beg your pardon, as an inconsiderate hostess," she interrupted him
blithely. "How embarrassing; I've overdressed." And without so much
as a hitch of her shoulders, her gown slid down her slender form and piled on
the carpet. She stepped out of it toward him, as naked as he, perfectly at
ease, opening her arms. "Is this better?"
Deliann's
mouth dropped open. Her nipples were painted the same color as her eyes, and
they looked as hard as the metal they mimicked. In that second of utter
astonishment, the fire that sheathed him faded and winked out.
He
hadn't even seen a flicker from her Shell, and in one sickening second, he
realized why: She had never been here in the first place. What he'd seen had
been a Fantasy, projected from some place of safety, probably into his mind
alone. And while he'd gawked, she'd retuned the Shield overhead and cut him
off.
He
started to think he might have made a mistake.
Even
as he began to extend his Shell, reaching in a new direction, someone threw a
heavy net over his head; the weaving was thick and metallic, and as it closed
around him, the image of Kierendal and her gown vanished as though wiped from
existence by an invisible hand. A heavy fist knocked him to the porch, and he
couldn't even pull enough Flow to enhance his strength and rip free of the
net—some kind of scarlet counterforce flared over the net, blocking his best
attempt. An ogre grabbed him by the ankles and yanked him off the floor,
gathering the net around him to make a sack.
The
ogre lifted him like a bagged kitten. "Guezz you don' really keep up with
the latez zztuff from the zity, when you're ou' in the forezz, eh there,
woodzie?"
3
The
chair was heavy, very sturdily constructed of hard maple, and bolted to the
floor. The manacles that attached Deliann's left wrist to his right ankle were
threaded through the support bars that connected the chair's legs.
It
took the ogre something less than five minutes, after it unbagged Deliann
within this tiny room, to demonstrate to him conclusively that he couldn't pull
enough Flow in here to light a candle; some unknown quality of the room's
construction cut him off as absolutely as had the weave of that net. The ogre
had made this point by knotting its great horned fists and beating him into
semiconsciousness with swift, passionless efficiency. Then it had affixed the
manacles, and left.
The
chair faced a blank grey wall that was stippled with faint brownish
smears: probably old, haphazardly wiped blood. By twisting uncomfortably in the
seat, Deliann could watch the door behind him, but his battered body swiftly
stiffened into knots of bruise. He surrendered with a sigh and turned his face
back toward the wall. The room was cold; the manacles were like ice against his
wrist and ankle, and gooseflesh bunched his bare skin all over his body. For a
long time, he did nothing but shiver and listen to himself breathe.
Finally,
the door behind him opened. Twisting to watch Kierendal enter the room cost him
a stifled groan. She appeared exactly as she had in the Fantasy; the way she
moved wasn't quite gliding, but it was decidedly more stylish than an ordinary
walk. At her side paced a thick-muscled ogrillo bitch dressed in loose-fitting
coveralls, slapping her palm with a sort of flexible club made of tightly
braided leather. The club was as long as Deliann's forearm and as thick as his
wrist.
Kierendal
had something small and roundish in her hand, like a nut, that she pretended to
be interested in rolling back and forth between her fingers. "Didn't
anyone ever tell you," she murmured distractedly, "what happens to
little elves who play with fire?"
"Don't
call me elf" Deliann said slowly. "I've taken that name from
humans, and from ogrilloi. I don't have to take it from you."
"That,"
Kierendal said, "is not an answer to my question."
An
invisible hand with talons of ice reached into his stomach and twisted his guts
into a ball of agony. Pain drove a gasp past his lips, and a red haze descended
across his vision but he was not without resources, even here. With an ease
that belied the snarl of pain on his face, he tuned his Shell to hers, tapping
into the shaft of brilliant green that poured power from her aureate Shell into
his guts; he took some of that power for himself and used it to weave a shunt
for the energy she threw at him—a mental chute that funneled her power into his
Shell instead of his body.
The
knots eased, and he prepared to strike back. She could no more pull inside this
room than' he could; the little nutlike thing in her hand could only be a
griffinstone. Deliann tuned his Shell to an octave that Kierendal shouldn't be
able to see and reached a tendril toward it
"Thought
you'd try that," she said. She glanced at the ogrillo bitch, who slapped
the braided leather club against the side of Deliann's head sharply enough to
shower a galaxy of stars across the inside of his eyes. He lost mindview.
Kierendal
bared her teeth.
Steel
claws hooked under his ribs and wrenched his stomach inside out. He doubled
over, heaved between his knees, and vomited convulsively, retching, splashing
puke across his bare ankles. Kierendal stepped back crisply to keep it from soiling
her spike-heeled formal sandals.
When
he could control his head enough to lift it once again, Kierendal looked down
at him, and her starkly chiseled face bent into a mask of friendliness. She
didn't seem to mind the smell. "Now you understand your position. I want
you to understand mine. In just less than one hour, the curtain goes up on a
show I have been preparing to mount for more than a year. I have performers
from all over the Empire, from Lipke, from fucking Ch'rranth; I have
seventy-eight thousand royals of my own money on the line, and I have
partners who put in more—the kind of partners who don't believe in taking
losses. If they don't turn a profit, they will collectively fuck my ass until I
bleed to death."
She
pronounced each crudity with a certain satisfied precision, as though she
enjoyed being in this place where she could use whatever language pleased her.
"And now, I also have some scary freak who claims to be the Changeling
Prince throwing around fire magick like a human thaumaturge's worst nightmare,
and I need to know what's going on. You're a Cainist, aren't
you?"
Deliann
shook his head. "I don't know what that is."
"Don't
shit me, cock. I have two, bishops and a pig-fucking Archdeacon of the
Church of the Beloved Children in the house tonight. I knew it—I knew some
crazy Cainist bastard would try something stupid."
"I'm
no Cainist. I don't know why people keep telling me I am."
Kierendal
snorted. "That just makes it worse. It's this simple, cock: I need to know
who you really are, who sent you, and what you're really after, and I don't
have much time to figure it out. So I'm going to hurt you until I like the
answers you give me. Understand?"
Deliann
said, "I need your help."
She
clenched her fist around the griffinstone until scarlet power leaked between
her fingers like smoke. "You have a peculiar way of asking for it,"
she said through her teeth.
"I
didn't come here to ask," he said flatly. "I would not presume on our
relationship. I am Deliann Mithondionne, Youngest of the Twilight King, and by
the fealty you owe my father, I demand your service."
"Who
do you think you're talking to, cock?" Kierendal said
disbelievingly. She paced around him, staring, as though his bald, scorched
nakedness might look different from another side. "You can bluff the
woodsies, but you're in the big city now. I have sources all over this fucking continent.
First: Prince Deliann is dead. He probably died years ago. An Aktir
had taken his place, an imposter—and don't try telling me the Aktiri
aren't real; I know better. And the Aktir, the imposter, was killed
two weeks ago, on the far side of the God's Teeth. One of the Mithondion
princes figured out what he was, and the Aktir attacked him. The
prince's retainers killed him."
"Torronell,''
Deliann supplied, and his scalded features twisted with some pain that was not
physical. "It's all true—almost."
"Almost?"
Deliann
smiled, just a little. "I'm no imposter, and I'm not dead."
Kierendal
snorted. "And here's the nut-cutter, cock I knew the Changeling. He
worked for me, doing security over at the Exotic Love, almost twenty-five years
ago, before his Adoption into House Mithondionne. He worked for me for nearly a
year, and I got to know him well, if you follow my meaning. And you're
not him."
"Are
you so sure, Kier?" Deliann asked sadly. "Put hair back on me, and
eyebrows, and have I really changed so much?"
She
looked at him truly closely for the first time, and she frowned. Her lips
pulled back over her teeth as though she saw something that frightened her.
"There's a resemblance," she admitted, slowly, as though it hurt her.
"But you've aged—aged like a human ..."
"I
am human," Deliann said simply. "I always was. I am also
Deliann."
Kierendal
straightened, and she shook her head, denying what she saw, denying whatever
she might feel. "Even if you were the Changeling, I wouldn't help you. I
don't owe that bastard shit. Or his fucking Twilight King. What did they ever
do for me?" Colors roiled across her Shell without mixing, like those on a
soap bubble in the sun. "I still haven't heard a reason I shouldn't have
Tchako here kill you and dump your body in the river."
Deliann
knew this was no idle threat. He could see it in her fists, clenched so tightly
that her long sharpened fingernails had drawn blood from her wrists. She was
not thinking clearly, was not susceptible to reason, and was as dangerous as a
wounded bear. He understood her easily, perfectly.
He
felt exactly the same way.
He'd
always seen himself as one of the good guys, one of the heroes, someone who has
a certain moral center that he could hold against the world, someone who had
drawn a line that nothing could force him to cross. He would willingly die
before doing what he was about to do; that was a choice he could make. But if
he chose death before dishonor, he'd be making that choice not only for
himself, but for millions: millions who wouldn't get a choice at all.
"If
you fail in your duty to my father," he said, "the death of the First
Folk will be on your head, Kierendal. Within two years, we will be
extinct"
But
he was only stalling, only delaying the inevitable; he already knew he wouldn't
be able to reach her with words.
"I
don't have time for this shit." She gestured to Tchako, and
again the leather club slapped across Deliann's skull, blowing a spark shower
across his vision.
When
he lifted his head again, a warm trickle down the side of his neck told him his
scalp had split under the blow. He wondered idly if this was the sword cut
reopened, or if the leather had torn a new wound. He said softly, "Nothing
you do to me will change the truth."
"I
haven't heard any truth yet," she snarled, lifting the
griffinstone: a threat.
"You've
heard nothing but."
Her
snarl thinned to a whine of frustration and her fist tightened around the
griffinstone. Agony seized Deliann's guts. He doubled over, retching, his
stomach afire as though he'd swallowed burning coals, but he made no effort to
tap her Shell and defend himself. This was what he'd been waiting for.
He
tuned his mind to the link she had created between their Shells. He opened
himself to the pain, accepted it, anchored it to the center of his being, even
though doing so caused it to swell to a hurricane of anguish that threatened to
snuff him like a candle; this was the only penance he could make for what he
did next.
At
the last instant, some premonition warned her of what he was doing, and the
shades of horror bloomed across her Shell. She fought him then, wildly, as an
animal fights when backed into the deepest corner of its own den. She
screamed—one thin despairing wail
Through
the link that bridged them, he poured himself into her.
4
Images
cascade in roiling, fractal turbulence, unpredictable, incomprehensible,
inconceivable: dual views, inside and outside, feeling and watching together,
vomit splattering over bare ankles, too near spike-heeled sandals, gut-pain and
the heart-pain of inflicting pain, a burning man-shape out-side on a darkened
portico, and yet again, peering out with eyes of flame at a halberd's blade as
it melts and drips to a puddle that sets an echoing blaze in the carpet
WHAT
ARE YOU DOING TO ME?
Shh,
hush now, it's too late to stop it. Ride it out.
The
images begin to organize, to sequentialize: walking through a mutated, horribly
half-familiar Allentown, words with the Patrol, a kick from a pickpocket.
Faster now: a dive from the bow of a riverbarge, the silky stroke of the water
parting around their short brush of hair, flames and shouting, the fierce grip of
the ogrillo deck officer--
What
is this?
This
is my life.
Days
of deck swabbing, brush cutting, clearing jams of tangled flotsam—the
dangerous, backbreaking passage-work of a decker on the Great Chambaygen. More
days, limping down out of the God's Teeth alone, each step a new adventure in
pain, through the forest, following a stream for water, pulling Flow for
energy, mindholding rabbits and squirrels until they can be taken by hands that
break their necks. At first, they sear the scraps of flesh with the fire from
their mind, but as days pass and their resources dwindle, they need the Flow
they gather for other things, and the bloody tang of raw flesh is sharp on
their tongue.
This
is our lives?
Our
life.
We
are Deliann.
And
hours wasted in agony, weaker and weaker; days lost to mindview, fighting
exposure and shock with Flow, layering new calcium across broken ends of bone
in his legs, wishing he understood healing more completely, wishing he had the
strength to splint the bones straight—botching the job, leaving a pocket of
infection in the bone of his left thigh, fusing his right shin crooked—using
his disciplined concentration to fight back the despair, the black fist that
crushed his heart
We
don't understand.
Patience.
This won't take long.
Coming
awake on the broken scree at the foot of the cliff, surprised to be alive,
feeling the jagged ends of bone grind together within each leg, looking up to
see, high above, one last glimpse of his brother's face, haloed for an instant
against the translucent blue-white brush strokes of high cirrus cloud. As I
watch, the face pulls back from the brink, emptying the cliff's crisp,
indifferent skyline
Leaving
me here to die.
We
still do not understand.
There
is no-we.
I
understand.
This
is my life.
I
am Deliann.
5
I
stand on the high cliff, overlooking the mines, while Kyllanni and Finnall sing
the Song of War.
Far,
far below, vanishing into the clear afternoon distance, the earth is pocked
like the surface of the moon, a wasteland of craters and broken rock; the mountains
are scarred, whole chunks missing as though bitten off by a god. Within this
moonscape, tiny figurines move and work, black dots moving earth and directing
sluice pipes, biting into the ground and belching black smoke until the crystal
mountain air seems to come to a halt outside their dominion: a dome of smoke
and dust enclosing Hell.
Closer
below is the fence that L'jannella described, a wire and steel monstrosity,
decorated with the dim silhouettes of corpses, outlined against the dust
behind.
This
is worse than I'd feared, worse than I could have imagined. In five short days,
my world has crumbled, rotted: eaten from within as though injected with acid.
Everything I thought was strong and sure has turned to paper and spun glass.
"It's
the Blind God," Torronell mutters harshly, softly enough that at
first only I can hear him; but then he repeats it, louder, and his gesture
takes in not only the wrack of Diamondwell and Transdeia, but everything that
has happened since we left the Northwest Road. "This is all the
work of the Blind God. The dil-T'llann has been breached, and the Blind
God has followed us from the Quiet Land."
Of us
all, I'm the only one who realizes that Rroni isn't speaking metaphorically.
Torronell
begins to pace in a tight circle, and his face twists with dark thoughts; his
scalp is only now showing signs of stubble, only now growing back the hair I
burned from him in my effort to save his life. I move with him, keeping between
him and our three companions—whether he's well or not, I have to treat him like
he's infected.
Even
ordering us to come here, to this cliff, shows his judgment is be-coming
erratic. I'd like to think this is only a sign of the stress we've been through
this past week, but I'm losing hope. I think I'm going to have to kill him.
Kyllanni
and Finnall chant on, but I can't take any more.
This
has to be stopped before it begins, and there is no one else who can stop
it. "No," I say hoarsely. "No war. I don't care what they've
done. There will be no war."
Kyllanni
and Finnall fall silent; they and L'jannella do not respond to me at all. They
turn from me, and look at Torronell.
His
eyes blaze with feverish triumph. "Don't you understand?" he says.
"I can tell you why he will not cry war against these humans. Join
the Meld."
"But
the curse—" L'jannella protests.
"A
lie," Torronell spits. "Another of Deliann's lies. Join the
Meld."
Oh
god, oh god he's really sick, after all this, he's sick after all and I'm going
to have to do this. I slide my hand into my rapier's basket hilt, and wish I
could jam this sword into my own heart, instead. The worst of it is, that's not
an answer: my death solves nothing.
His
death saves the world.
I try
to draw but there is no strength in my arm. How have I come to this? How could
I have arrived here?
Why
does it have to be me?
There
is no one else. There is no other answer.
I
pull the sword, the silver of its blade flashing fire in the afternoon sun. The
brilliant life-green of the Meld plays around their mingled Shells, and they
all stare at me: L'jannella, Kyllanni, and Finnall with shock and disbelief,
Torronell with acid triumph. "You see?" he screeches. "These Artans
are not of this world—they're Aktiri! He's one of them! He's a
damned Aktir!"
He
will have already spoken this mind to mind, in the Meld; there can be no
denial. In the Meld, lies are impossible. They have heard the truth of me, and
they all know it.
"He
wants to kill me! He wants to kill us all!"
This
he believes, too; it's even half true. The virus destroying his mind supplies
more than enough conviction to carry the other half. The only reply I can make
is my fencer's lunge, the razor tip of my rapier reaching for his heart.
Finnall
is faster, throwing herself in front of her prince. My sword takes her just
below the arch of the ribs; it slides easily through muscle and liver until the
point grates on the back curve of her ribs. She shudders with the cold
discomfort that is still too fresh to be pain and grabs the blade with both
hands as she falls, ripping it from my loosening fingers.
Oh Finnan,
oh god
But I
can't stop now. My people, my world—they have no one else to defend them.
Training
more than a quarter century old, from the Studio Conservatory, reminds me how
to kill with my empty hands; I leap at Torronell, and he falls back from me,
screeching—and he is still Rroni, still my brother, and the one second's
hesitation this gives me is too long.
Kyllanni's
sword flashes toward me; I see it from the corner of my eye just in time to
leap to one side and face him. I can still hear my tutor's voice: When
you're unarmed and the other guy's got a sword, run like a bastard.
That's
not an option.
Move
out of the line of attack and disable his arm. Don't fight the sword; fight the
man.
Kyllanni
lifts his sword and springs at me; I slip aside, but even as I reach for his
arm, something strikes me on the head with a humorous metal-on-wood bonk. My
vision vanishes in a white glare, and my knees turn to cloth. I stagger
back, covering my head, trying to keep moving so they can't take my vitals.
Torronell
holds a bloodied sword.
He
hit me, in the head, with a sword.
I
stagger back another step, and my foot touches only air.
Bottomless
air, I find as my body follows it--and I'm flying, flying, flying, and of
course it's not bottomless, it just feels that way, like I'm never going to
land as the cliff face rushes upward past me. I hit an outcrop and bounce, and
another one; I hear something break, loud enough that it might be my leg.
My
final impact comes as a burst of colorless fire, and then darkness.
6
L'jannella
crouches on the far side of the clearing, away from the embers of last night's
fire. She hugs herself, trembling, though the morning is not cold. Denied the
Meld by my order—by my lie—she uses mere words to describe her horror.
Language was never designed to carry such freight, but her pale shivering
hoarseness is eloquent enough. My best memories of L'jannella all see her
giggling with joy at some practical joke, even when it was on her; to see her
sickened and so very, very frightened is as painful as the story she tells.
The
long silence from the Diamondwell stonebenders is now explained, as is the fate
of the legates my father sent to enquire of them. I can barely hear her words
over the thunder of blood in my ears, but the sense is clear enough.
The
tiny, sleepy, sparsely settled human duchy of Transdeia, formerly a
peaceful agricultural land—its only other industry being hospitality for
travelers on the Northwest Road—has metastasized into a giant landhungry
termite hill of a nation. Now under the control of a mysterious folk who all
themselves Artans, it has swallowed Diamondwell as though the
millennium-old stonebender freehold had never existed; the mountains that the
stonebenders once cherished have become a blasted wasteland of open-pit mines
and giant hydraulic slurries that chew away cliff sides, taking daily bites
measured in hundreds of long tons.
The
news gets worse: suffocating déjà vu closes around my throat as L'jannella
describes the machines in the mining pits: huge hulking metal scoops that belch
black smoke and roar with hunger, plows on wheels connected by linked metal
treads. I can see them in my head, more clearly probably than she can. I grew
up with these machines.
My
father—my first father, my birth father—runs a corporation that builds machines
like these, and so I know, instinctively, who the Artans are.
And
she tells of the fence that surrounds them, a fence supported on steel posts,
built of interlocking vertical zigzags of wire; she traces the shape in the air
with her finger and tells of the wire coils that top it, coils with sharp
blades sticking out along their curves. This, as well, I can imagine too
clearly: chain-link fence, topped with razor wire.
Torronell
catches my gaze, and accusation glares through the pale sweat that coats his
face; he has guessed the truth. His mouth opens as though he would speak, but
then closes; he pretends to look away, sneaking a crafty glance at me from the
corner of his bloodshot eye.
Oh,
god—all gods, human gods, any who will listen—please let that sweat be from
fear and disgust, and not from fever. Let his crafty glance bespeak mere
hatred.
L'jannella
continues mercilessly. At intervals along the miles of that fence, bodies
hang—corpses, skeletons, some still in scraps of clothing, mostly stonebenders,
some primals, even a few tiny treetoppers—their feet off the ground, arms wide,
wired to the fence by their wrists. Crucified.
Crucified
by the Artans.
I
can't face Torronell now; if I even glance at him, so much as glimpse his face,
I might start to explain, words might start to tumble from my mouth no matter
how hard I try to stop them. But those aren't my people, I want to cry. Its
not my people who have done this. It's someone else, someone alien, someone who
does not partake of my blood, of my world. Even now, old enough to know
better, I find myself stunned with astonished revulsion at the horrors of which
we are capable.
After
twenty-seven years as a primal mage, I can still hate myself for being human.
But I
must not show any of this before L'jannella. The secret of my heritage belongs
to House Mithondionne, to T'farrell Ravenlock himself, as it has since the day
of my Adoption; it is not mine to reveal.
My
mind has wandered on these matters, but now L'jannella recaptures my full
attention. I gather that she is now relating why she returned alone to
make this report, why Kyllanni and Finnall remained behind: "They watch,
and wait for us to join them. While they watch, they compose a Song of
War."
I can
feel Torronell's glare burning against the side of my head; I dare not face
him. "They can't do that."
Torronell
speaks for the first time, a harsh throat-scuffing rasp. "How can they not?"
"This
Song will not be sung without leave of House Mithondionne," L'jannella
says, "but Changeling, Diamondwell has been under the protection of your
House for more than a thousand years, since the days of Panchasell Luckless.
The Diamondwell stonebenders are our cousins; isn't this rape of their land
alone a strong enough theme for a Song of War?"
"That's
not the point."
"What
is the point, then?" Torronell rasps bitterly. "What? Tell us."
L'jannella
goes on before I can find the words. "Changeling, the humans of Transdeia
make war on us already. The legates your father sent—did you not hear me? Their
bodies hang on that fence! Finnall's brother hangs on that fence:
Quelliar. Murdered. Can you recall the sound of his laughter, and not burn
for war?"
It
doesn't matter. A grinding pain in my chest threatens to close my throat and
choke off these words, but I get them out anyway. "No war. There will be
no war."
Torronell
stands. "That is not for you to say. I am Eldest, here. We will go and
hear their Song."
"Rroni,
no, dammit! You don't know what you're getting into." "And you
do? How is this? Do you want to explain?"
He
knows I can't, not in front of L'jannella; is he really sick? Is that why he's
baiting me like this?
Am I
going to have to kill him?
He
looks at me as though my thoughts are written on my forehead. He's waiting for
me to decide.
I
know already: I'm going to cave. What choice do I have?
"All
right," I say, defeated. "Let's go hear their Song."
. 7
"I
feel fine," Rroni says thinly. He licks his lips and stares into the
flames, and I let myself believe that the flush in his face comes from sitting
too close to the campfire. "It's been four days. If I have it, I'd be
feverish by now, wouldn't I?" His eyes are raw with dread. "Wouldn't
I?"
Our
clothes are new, spares from the saddlepacks of the two horses that stand
hobbled nearby. We squat on fallen logs around our tiny fire. My hair has begun
to grow back, a pale stubble that makes my scalp feel like warm sandpaper;
Rroni is still bald and scorched.
Rroni's
lip is split, his face swollen with purple bruise where I hit him. Ever since
he woke up he has resisted, more and more, opening himself to the comfort of
the Meld; we've used our voices in conversation more over these four days than
we have in the past ten years.
I
miss the Meld, miss the closeness I shared with my brother. I wish,
pointlessly, that I could use it now, but I don't even bring it up. I can't. A
sick pain that pools in the hollow of my stomach tells me that I don't really
want to share the feelings that Torronell conceals. So I can only nod
uncertainly, trusting to the night and the campfire's flicker to conceal my
expression. "Yes, four days, I think so. I'm not sure."
"How
can you not be sure?" Rroni
hisses.
It's
not like I can flick on a wallscreen and look it up.
I
can't say that Rroni's in too much pain.
I
have no secrets from my brother. Rroni knew the truth twenty-five years ago,
even before my Adoption. These things could not be spoken of, in front of our
companions; my true heritage remains a closely guarded secret of House
Mithondionne. Everybody—nearly everybody, at least, our companions
included—knows I have a secret, but they have never suspected the truth.
Everyone thinks I'm a Mule, one of those rare and pitiful creatures born from a
human rape of a primal female. It is generally supposed that Changeling is a
polite euphemism.
The
truth is worse.
I
have to face it now: with everything that has happened, I can't run from it,
can't deny it. I am an Aktir.
Not
an Actor, no: my sense experiences have never been transmitted to Earth to be
sold by the Studio as entertainment. But an Aktir, yes: I was born on
Earth. Born human. Surgically altered at the Studio Conservatory on Naxos to
pass for primal.
My
name was Soren Kristiaan Hansen. I lived as a human for twenty-two years, long
enough to graduate from the Studio's College of Battle Magick, long enough
to make the freemod transfer to Overworld, ostensibly for training—and then I
shed my human skin like the dried husk of a butterfly's chrysalis, and spread
my elvish wings.
In my
first few years as Deliann, I could barely even think my former name, let alone
say it; but the conditioning imposed by the Studio fades over time, if it is
not renewed. For dozens of years I have been free to speak the truth of myself,
but I never have.
I'm
not sure what my truth might be.
I
barely remember Soren Kristiaan Hansen: he exists solely as a recollection of a
boy who passed his childhood pretending to be the bastard son of Frey, Lord
of the lios alfar—a boy who'd never wanted anything so much as to be a
primal mage. I've been Deliann the Changeling for twenty-seven years, more than
half my life—have been Prince Deliann Mithondionne, adopted son of T'farrell
Ravenlock, for nearly twenty-five.
My
human family will have given me up for dead long ago, and shed few tears. There
were other Hansen sons, and in a prominent Business family like the Hansens of
Ilmarinen MachineWorks, Soren Kristiaan had been as much a marketable commodity
as he had been a son and brother.
I
don't miss them. I didn't like being human, being Business. I am
incapable of the kind of nostalgic illusion that would make me homesick for the
shallow, narrow-minded world of privilege and profit in which my abandoned
family lives. I left Earth behind, shook it off like a nightmare, and have
lived my dream for more than half my life. I never expected that
quarter-century-old nightmare to reach out, grab me, and crush my heart.
Ah,
my heart, Rroni . you can't do this to me. You can't die.
Torronell
is the next-youngest prince of House Mithondionne. He was born three hundred
and seventy-three years ago, and from my forty-nine-year-old perspective,
anything that old should be indestructible. For the love of god-he was born the
same year Darwin sailed-on the Beagle how can he be dying?
"I
told you," I say, "it's not like I learned about it in school; HRVP
was wiped out a hundred years before I was born."
"Supposedly,"
Rroni supplies bitterly.
I
nod. "All I know about it comes from Plague Years novels I read when I was
a boy. Novels are like ... like epics. You know a lot about Jereth's Revolt,
say, but you can't quote the actual text of the Covenant of Pirichanthe."
Rroni
looks away. "That's a human story."
"So
the best I can remember is that HRVP incubates in something like four days. It
could be ten, or two weeks, or a month. I just don't know. Novelists aren't
always too careful with their facts—and this might not even be the same strain.
Viruses mutate—ah, they change characteristics, and symptoms, and effects.
That's how they say HRVP happened in the first place."
We've
been over this a dozen times in the past four days. Each time, I repeat what I
know, and detail what I don't know, with identical slow, patient precision.
It's become a bitter ritual, but it seems to help Rroni, to ease his mind
somehow, to let him believe that I might be wrong. I have no other comfort to
offer.
"How
can I die of a human disease?" Rroni has asked, again and again.
"We're not even the same species!"
I
have always the same answer. "I don't know."
All I
can say is that rabies—the naturally occurring, original baseline of HRVP—was
infectious in all mammals. And, once the infection has developed, it's fatal.
No percentages, no treatments, no appeals. HRVP is worse: vastly faster, vastly
more contagious. HRVP is persistent in the environment; in the absence of a
warm-blooded host it sporulates, remaining potentially lethal for months.
And airborne.
I can
only pray that I acted fast enough.
The
primal male I killed in the village haunts the back of my mind, asleep and
awake; I can't stop thinking about the days-long progress of the disease. How
much longer would he have lived in agony? Days? A week? I can't imagine a more
hideous death. Sometimes, in my head, the male has Rroni's face.
Sometimes
he looks like the Twilight King himself.
I
remember standing in line, five years old, with a dozen other Business
children. I remember the pressure of the airgun against my hip, and the sudden
sharp sting of the inoculation. Tears welled in my eyes, but I had blinked them
back, and I had not made a sound. It was a solemn occasion, a rite of passage
of my Business caste; the inoculation was my passport to the world, and I had
accepted it as a Businessman should. I never dreamed that now, after more than
forty years have passed, the fate of a world might hinge on that brief pain.
"And
so," Rroni mutters, lacing his fingers into white-knuckled knots,
"how long must we wait? How long before we decide whether I shall die, or
live? The others will be back from their scout at any moment they
should have been back by yesterday's dusk. Then what? What shall we tell
them? How shall we prevent their exposure?"
He
nods miserably toward the horses. "If I am infected, then even Nylla and
Passi must be destroyed, as you destroyed the village."
Rroni
and his horses—he often liked to comment that the horse was the perfect
expression of T'nallarann: strong, swift, loyal, fierce in defense, faithful
beyond the limits of its strength. Now the gaze he turns upon them is freighted
with the anticipation of their deaths.
"Any
living thing might carry this disease into our villages, and our cities. So we
must kill, and kill, and kill. We must make a wasteland of this place, for your
HRVP may spread through any creature alive in this land—except you," he
finishes bitterly.
I
look at the ground. "We'll stick to the curse story."
"They
will know we lie."
"They
know that already," I remind him. "But they don't know what we're
lying about."
In
the time crunch after I burned the village, the story I came up with had been
embarrassingly weak; I'm not a gifted liar. I shouted to my friends a confused
tale of a potent curse laid on the village—a curse that had slain the villagers
one and all—a curse that had now fallen upon Rroni and me as soon as we walked
in; I told them I was afraid that the magick of the curse might be able to
bridge through the magickal link of the Meld, and so I refused all contact,
mental or physical.
I
ordered them to continue northeast into the mountains and complete the
reconnaissance. Remember the mission, I told them; nothing was more important
than the mission; we have to find out what happened to Diamondwell. Rroni and I
would stay here and investigate the action of the curse, and see what might be
done to counter it. They could not argue. Improbable as it sounded, the story could
have been true, and I am, after all, their prince.
"I
don't like it," Rroni says. "They are our friends. They deserve the
truth."
I
shake my head, still looking at the ground; I can't face him. "This isn't
about what they deserve. We tell the truth about HRVP, we'll have to tell them
how we know. We'll have to tell them why I'm immune. And once that's out,
they'll forget the rest. All they'll be able to think about is how we've
betrayed them."
Rroni
turns away, offering me only the back of his bare, scorched skull, and his
voice is low and hoarse. "Perhaps we have."
I
stare into the fire. I don't trust myself to answer, and I'm afraid to meet my
brother's eyes.
"It's
your people who have done this," Rroni goes on. The words leak out
like drops of gall, slow and bitter, as though forced from his lips by pressure
that gradually builds inside his head.
"Rroni,
don't. You are my people—"
"Your
people ... made this horror. The ignorant say that Aktiri rape
and slaughter and defile everything they touch, for each other's amusement; and
perhaps they who say such Things are not so ignorant, after all. How
else can this be explained? Why else have you done this to me?"
My
heart thuds painfully once, then again. "Is that what you think, Rroni? Do
you really think I did this to you?"
Torronell
turns his face silently away from the fire, toward the night; he has no answer
that I can bear to hear.
Many,
many years ago, when I rejected both my Business heritage and the prospect of
an Acting career, I liked to tell myself that I did so from some unexpected
nobility of spirit, because I couldn't bear to profit by inflicting harm on
others--I was, after all, very young.
I saw
the use of cyborged Workers in Ilmarinen's heavy-machinery factories as being
morally equivalent to the brutal violence against Overworld natives that drove
all successful Acting careers, because both required a certain objectification
of the people they exploited. Ilmarinen MachineWorks used its cyborg Assemblers
as replaceable, easily programmed robots; Actors, even those usually considered
"heroes," had to cultivate a similar disregard toward the native
Overworlders they inevitably killed and maimed during their Adventures.
Expendable—replaceable--"bad guys" were the staple of Studio success.
As
years passed, though, I came to understand myself somewhat more precisely, and
I realized that my decision had had little to do with morality, and less to do
with nobility; that it was really, in the end, a matter of taste.
I
hate killing. I cannot bear to inflict pain, or even to know that pain is
inflicted on my behalf. Perhaps this comes from the gift I have, the ability to
flash into another's life; perhaps my empathy has become so acute that I feel
each hurt in advance. The reason, finally, is irrelevant. The fact remains: I
am not, have never been, could never be a killer.
The
First Folk do not pray. We do not have gods in the human sense. Our
spirituality springs from our inextricable, ineradicable place in the
interconnected web of life itself We touch the source of the Flow, and we find
that source within ourselves; the fundamental breath of the world breathes
through us, as it does through all living things. We do not ask favors of life,
we participate in it.
But I
was born human, and in ultimate distress I can't help returning to the ways of
my childhood.
In
the depths of night that follow the dying of the campfire's embers, I find
myself praying desperately to T'nallarann that I will not be forced to kill my
brother.
8
The
scent of blood hangs in the silver dusk.
I
balance on tiptoe at the edge of the dead village, long hair the color of
moonlight floating free in a translucent halo around my ears. As T'ffar sinks
toward the western horizon and day fades from the sky, my surgically enhanced
eyes respond, bringing the sagging, skeletal hulks of the rude shanties before
me into relief as bright and sharp as a chromed knife.
This
is a bad idea. This is a stupid thing to do.
But I
send, in the octave of the Meld, an image of my companions remaining hidden in
the forest, and an image of me being very careful as I enter the dead village: Stay
here. I'm going in.
The
backflow from the Meld, in response, is primarily echoes of alarm and
disapproval from L'jannella, Kyllanni, and Finnall, strong enough to make the
horses uneasy, overlaid with the acerbic vinegar flavor of my brother
Torronell's contribution: a dead ape with my face, rotting for a season on a
pile of oil-soaked logs: Don't expect me to light the pyre when your
manblood finally gets you killed, monkey boy.
I
grin sourly. My answering image is of Rroni holding the reins of a horse while
I streak from the village like a cat with its tail on fire: Be ready. I
might come out of here a lot faster than I'm going in.
The
faintest of breezes stirs the forest around me, shifting the canopy of branches
and making the green aural Shells of the living trees pulse like shadows cast
by candlelight. The village swarms with the smaller, brighter Shells of forest
animals, many of them fading now with the day, shading to the earth tones of
sleep. Small birds flutter to their nests among the branches; ground squirrels
and field mice and their numerous cousins burrow snugly into the earth to hide
from the silent swoop of awakening owls. The forest is alive, but this village
is dead.
In a
living village of the First Folk, these shelters, roughly constructed of
woodland scraps, would appear to the eye and hand to be shaped of living trees,
polished with rich oils, filigreed with delicate spirals of platinum and
beaten gold. In a living village, the air would carry the scents of mushrooms
simmering in butter, of fine beer foaming as it spills from oaken casks, of
rich wood-smoke from hearths alight with mistletoe and ash. In a living
village, even the silences would shiver with the almost-heard laughter of
children.
The
silences in this village have vanished behind the croaks of ravens, squabbling
over carrion.
This
village reeks of old meat.
I
repeat: This is a bad idea. This is a stupid thing to do.
But I
am a prince, and these had been my folk. If I don't go in, Rroni will; though
Rroni is far more the sarcastic society wit than he is a warrior, he is equally
a prince. This is my job. I have vastly greater faith in my own ability to
survive the unexpected. And let's face it: I have less to lose.
Poised
at the village edge, I set the frog of my recurved bow on the top of my boot,
bend the bow and string it. I slide a silver-bladed broadhead from the quiver
at my belt and fit its nock to the string. I slip into the village as quietly
as a shadow lengthens in the twilight; this is one of the things I do almost as
well as a true primal.
The
shelters rise around the boles of forest giants in the deepwood, letting the
shade of the towering trees do the work of keeping underbrush clear. Needing no
more than primal skill with Fantasy for defense, these villages are as open as
the forest itself. I drift from tree to tree, letting my nose gather
information that my eyes, enhanced or not, just can't; the shadows within the
crude shelters are too dark.
Each
window exhales a miasma of rotting blood.
Beyond
the splintery gaps in the corner of one collapsing shanty, a squawking pile of
black wings and curved beaks shudders in a span of well-trodden earth. I
approach, reaching out with a tendril of my Shell to flick the scarlet
radiances of theirs. The ravens scatter, some taking wing clumsily, some only
waddling away, too fat and gorged with flesh to fly.
What
they had fed upon is the corpse of a little feyal, lying carelessly splayed on
the earth like a cast-off doll. This feyal had been very young, six or seven
years old, and the bright colors of his kirtle have not yet faded in the sun.
Loving hands had woven this kirtle, thread by thread, and loving hands had
embossed the broad leather belt that girdled it, had made the wooden toy sword
and the bow of bundled rushes that lie beside him.
I squat
by the corpse, holding my bow and nocked arrow in my left hand, parallel
to the earth. I turn the feyal's face delicately up to catch the last of the
day's light. Maggots squirm in one empty eye socket, and inside the nose and
open mouth, yet the other eye still stares from the skull like a dusty opal.
The ravens have torn off only the tongue and parts of the lips; even the tender
flesh below the jaw is still unmarked.
My
heart kicks into a gallop. From the size of these maggots, this child has been
dead at least three days; the ravens should have stripped his face near to the
bone by now. They should be working on his liver and lungs, unless some larger
scavenger has been driving them off—and his corpse shows no sign that anything
other than birds has been at him. Something has been chasing off the ravens.
Something
in this village still lives.
Get
out of there, Kyllanni sends in
words. Of the four that wait outside the village, she's the best hunter, and
she understands perfectly what this child's corpse signifies. This feyal had
been left in the open deliberately: bait.
Yes:
me, too.
I
drop one knee to the earth and pretend that my full attention is engaged in
examining the corpse. The faint scrape of a stealthy footfall comes from not
far behind me, along with a muffled rasp of breath, labored and harsh.
Changeling
come on! Get out of there! Now L'jannella
and Finnall weigh in, adding their urgencies to Kyllanni's, imagery of a
shadowy, monstrous shape looming behind my shoulder. Come on!
I
hunch over the child a little more. I can't help it—it's an instinctive urge to
present a smaller target.
Let
him be, Torronell offers, sending a
picture of the Deliann-faced ape industriously tinkering with some impossibly
complicated puzzle: Let the monkey boy play his game. He occasionally knows
what he's doing.
Please,
kind gods, let this be one of those times.
I
gently shift the feyal's body, but find nothing that resembles a death wound.
The earth on which it lies is scuffed and printed with countless raven tracks,
and so tells no useful tale. The child's hands have twisted into rictal talons,
still stiff as stone though rigor had long passed for the rest of his limp
corpse. Fluid has leaked from his partially eaten mouth and soaked into the
ground—and has left a crust of its trail on his cheek, rimmed with flaking
blood. This crust has a strange, fractal, bubbled look, like dried soap
scum.
A
sudden coat of sand grows on my tongue and a chilly sickness gath ers in
my stomach. I peer closely at this crusted streak, holding my breath and
cursing the growing darkness.
Sweet
shivering fuck.
Oh,
fuck, fuck me, god. Please let me be wrong.
It
could be any number of things. It could. The kid could have
gotten a mouthful of raw rith leaves, for example; he could have been
chewing soapbark for the tingle, and had a stroke.
But I
don't really believe it; some childhood bogymen are fixed too firmly in one's
dreams to ever be mistaken. Dried foam on the face, the clawed hands with earth
caked under the fingernails, dirt scraped up in the final convulsions
If
the corpse were fresher, I could tell for sure: The tongue would be black,
dried and cracked like a mudflat at the end of a summer's drought; the throat
would be so swollen that the head could not be turned.
Again
a footfall scrapes behind me, and another. I barely hear them; I'm buried in a
fantasy of cracking open the feyal's skull, of excising some tissue at the base
of the brain, of improvising some kind of magickal lenses to make a microscope
powerful enough to search for Negri bodies in the nerve cells-‑
The
stealthy footfalls become a sudden rush, and now the shout that comes through
the Meld is my brother's: DELIANN!
I
throw myself to the right, the edge of my hand striking the ground to
begin a shoulder-roll that brings me to a crouch as my attacker blunders past
me. The bow in my left stays parallel to the ground; I stroke the arrow's nock
to my chest and release it without aiming, allowing my body to target without
the intervention of my mind.
The
silver broadhead punches through the ribs of a youthful,
powerful-looking fey. He twists, snarling and clawing at the shaft like
a wounded cougar. The shaft snaps, and its splintered end slashes blood from
his hand. He croaks, "Murderer--murderer,' in a harsh and rasping whisper,
then springs at me, empty hands outstretched, fingers hooked like a raptor's
talons.
I
drop my bow and slip aside once again, ducking beneath his wide-flung arm. I
draw my rapier from the scabbard that rides my left hip; it chimes like a
silver bell as it comes free. As he whirls to charge again, I lunge and drive
my blade through the side of his thigh just above the knee, twisting it so that
the razor edge slashes out through his hamstring.
His
leg springs straight, pitching him sideways to the earth; he
writhes there, growling wordlessly, and claws the earth with spastic
talons, dragging himself toward me a bloody inch at a time.
He
might not be alone, Rroni sends. I'm
coming in.
NO!
My roar into the Meld spikes a
backflow of startled pain from all four of my companions. STAY WHERE YOU
ARE!
Don't
shout at us, monkey boy. Being loud doesn't make you immortal. You need someone
at your back
How
can I possibly explain? Rroni, I swear by the honor of our House that you
can't come in here. Come into this village, and you die. Believe me. Is this
some manblood thing, little brother?
Ah,
yes, that's it... I have to force
the phrase; the Meld makes untruths difficult to share, impossible to conceal.
My friends' sharp orange sting at my lie stabs like a needle into my heart. Please,
Rroni. Now I'm asking you. Stay out.
I
am Eldest here, Deliann. It was my risk to take from the first. This means trouble—Rroni never calls me by my right
name unless he's too upset to be insulting, and years have passed since the
last time he pulled rank. Either come out, or I shall come in and get you.
Don't.
Just don't.
This
exchange takes only a second. I crouch in the wounded fey's path and extend my
Shell to touch the aura, crimson shot through with crackling violet, that
pulses around his form like cold flame. As I delicately tune my own Shell to
match the bloody hue and the jagged violet discharge of his, my perception of
the Meld trickles away. Now, for the first time since the five of us set out
from Mithondion, I am truly alone.
Once
my Shell harmonizes fully to his, I open myself to the liquid swirl of the
Flow. With the energy of the forest around me channeled through my mind, I
gently take control of his muscles and hold him shivering in place.
He
fights me, but as an animal fights, or a human, pitting the strength of his
will against my mindhold; he refuses to believe his limbs will not obey him,
and fuels his struggle with his rage. I'm not an accomplished mindwrestler—any
of my brothers can beat me—but no one can match my raw power. My brothers like
to sneer that I'm as graceful as a mudslide, but like a mudslide, I cannot be
overcome by mere strength.
I
play him like a puppet, using his own muscles to roll him onto his back and
lift his face for examination.
Both
his eyes are ringed with swollen, purplish-black flesh, and crusted with pale
yellow scurf that clings in chunks to his eyelashes and forms a trail down
his cheeks. Pink foam bubbles from his mouth, streaked with deeper scarlet that
swells from the gaping cracks in his blackened lips. His tongue is black and
cracked and leaking blood thick as mucus, and the flesh beneath his chin is
swollen until his skin is tight as melon rind.
The
cold sickness that birthed in my stomach as I examined the child now freezes
into a solid brick of ice.
This
is not supposed to be possible.
I
would speak my silent ah, shit, holy ship but my chest squeezes itself
until I can't even whisper.
T'ffar
sinks into the west, his rosy bloom replaced by the sheen of T'llan rising over
the eastern mountains. I get up, and stand over the fey I hold helpless
at my feet, watching his blood fade to black. I lift my slim blade, following
with my eyes the moonsilver that ripples over it like water, and imagine the
slow, raw-meat rip of thrusting this blade into his belly, probing with the
point to find the pulse of his heart, to slash that muscle and drain the life
from his eyes.
It's
the only medicine I can offer.
I
wasn't born a primal prince. I could have refused the honor, and the duty. I
knew, even on that day when T'farrell Ravenlock spoke the formula of Adoption
before the assembled House Mithondionne, that the kind of obligation I face now
could become part of my life.
I
chose this. It's too late to take it back.
I
lower the point of my moonsilvered blade and touch it to the vault of the
helpless fey's rib cage. Current surges through that physical
connection, deeper and more intimate than the mingling of our attuned Shells;
he rolls his crusted eyes to meet mine, and I flash on him.
In
that second, I become the wounded fey
Immobile
on the cooling earth, trapped inside a body that will not obey me, feeling the
stiff sccrrt of my broken rib scraping the arrow shaft that punctures my
lung, feeling the hot pool of blood thicken beneath my hamstrung leg. But these
are nothing, not even a distraction, behind the agony of my throat.
Someone
took a burning log from a bonfire and jammed it into my mouth; now they are
pounding it down my throat in time with the erratic thunder of my heart. A
thirst is on me, a savage lust for the faintest touch of moisture, that hurts
even more than the broken glass that fills my throat. I have dreamed only of
water for four nights now, of cool clear forest springs that could ease my
throat and quench the blaze of my fever. My face burns with it, roasting slowly
in its internal heat, scorching my lips to bloody charcoal, cooking my tongue
to blackened leather within the oven of my mouth; water is my only hope of
relief. But even the morning dew, sopped from the hanging sheets of moss that
drape the trees nearby, seared my throat like boiling acid. It has been two
days since I was last able to swallow.
The
flash ends a bare instant after it began, but it leaves me shaken and
trembling, greasy sweat seeping over my forehead. It could have been worse: I
could have sunk fully into his past, experienced the nervous hypersensitivity,
the way the faintest whisper stabs like a needle into the eardrum, the dimmest
candle becomes a knife in the eye, the unendurable itching, the insatiate
hunger and convulsive vomiting, the growing homicidal paranoia that transforms
your wife, your children, even your parents into leering monsters that tear at
your mind
I
know these symptoms by heart; they form shadow-shapes in the back of my mind,
always lurking, sniffing around the fringes of my consciousness, wondering when
they might finally match my experience.
Today,
I am grateful for the flash that is my gift, because it makes my duty easier:
makes it purely merry.
I
hold the fey motionless while I lean on my sword. The blade enters his belly,
with a frictive skidding on the muscle that clenches spastically around it. I
twist the blade upward until I find his heart, and slash into and through it,
the point grating on his spine.
It
takes a minute or two for him to die. Even as his heart spasms and blood floods
his abdominal cavity, he's still alive, still awake, still staring up at me
with maddened, hungry eyes as his body shuts down piecemeal, blood flow cutting
off first to his limbs, then to his guts and chest, trying to keep that last
spark of consciousness aflame.
I
watch it smolder, and wink out.
I
wipe my blade, but instead of returning it to its scabbard, I drive its point
into the knot of a tree root that sticks up above the earth and leave it there
to gently sway in the moonlight. I yank the broken arrow from the corpse's side
and do the same with it.
Slowly,
I untie the braided leather belt that holds my scabbard and quiver. I take it
from around my waist and hang it from the hilt of my rapier. My shirt
and breeches come next, and my stockings, and boots. All these I pile on the
knotted root beside my sword and the broken arrow. I collect my bow from where
it lies on the earth, a few paces away; with solemn, ceremonial care, I place
it on the pile.
"What
in the world are you doing?" Rroni's voice sounds rusty—it's been
days since he's spoken aloud—and its accustomed mocking edge is conspicuously
absent. "Clothe yourself, Deliann! Are you mad?"
He's
there, behind me; I turn to face him, and meet his eyes. My brother: my best
friend. Rroni stands over the dead child, revulsion and horror twisting his
delicate features, and for the wrenching eternity between one heartbeat and the
next, I can only stare. I can't move, can't breathe, can't blink. I am entirely
consumed by the agonizing wish that my brother had been born a coward.
A
coward would never have come into this village; a coward would never have left
Mithondion on a dangerous, useless quest with his half-mad, manblood-tainted
brother.
A
coward would have lived through it.
I
settle into myself, compressing somehow, barely perceptibly, as though the
world has become a smaller place and I shrink with it.
"What
have you done here? Deliann, answer me! What have they done to you?"
I
can't get my mind around it, not yet—maybe not ever.
Rroni
is probably already dead.
He
steps closer, a tendril of his Shell questing out, its shade cycling through
the spectrum as he tunes it for a mindhold. In the instant it drops out of the
octave of the Meld, I snatch my rapier from the root and lunge at my brother.
One advantage of my mortal birth is a strength of body that no primal can hope
to equal; when the basket hilt of my rapier hits the side of Rroni's head, he
drops like a stone.
I
stand over him, breathless at the fierce ache within my chest.
After
a moment, I return the rapier to its place on the root's knuckle, then I kneel
beside Rroni and swiftly strip him. I bundle Rroni's clothing on top of mine,
and place Rroni's boots alongside. Naked, barefoot, and unarmed, I pace the
perimeter of the dead village, gathering Flow within a fiery image I hold in my
mind, clear as a dream; from my footsteps, the earth sprouts flame.
At
the first hint of smoke, our friends call in alarm from the deepwood, using
their voices when they find no answers within the Meld. I brush the Meld for
one instant: Patience.
I
turn to the center of the village, fire skipping at my heels like a faithful
puppy. At the knotted root, I take my brother into my arms and turn my face to
the indifferent stars.
The
death of my entire people dances in this ring of flame around me. I
swear—T'nallarann, Lifemind, are you listening?—I swear that this death will
not work through me.
With
a silent shout of power, I draw the cleansing flame in upon us, a thunderclap
cautery that flares like the sun upon the forest floor. A toad stool of
smoke rolls toward the moon; it grows from a fairy ring of cinders that
smolders like countless eyes in the darkness around us.
I
stand at the center, Rroni in my arms, both of us now panting harshly in the
smoke-thickened air. His platinum hair has become a reeking tangle-melt of char;
his flesh is covered with a fine grey ash, the remnants of its outermost layer.
I imagine I look even worse.
"Now,"
I mutter, my voice as bleak and colorless as the ashes of my heart, "all I
need is a good lie to tell the others, and everything might still be all
right."
9
The
connection shattered in a blast of white fire across Deliann's vision, from the
slap of Tchako's leather club.
"What
are you doing?" the ogrillo
howled, lifting her braided club for another blow. "You murdering
motherfucker, I'll beat you to death! What did you do to her?'
Kierendal
lay on the floor in front of him, her face white as though painted with ash.
The club hissed through the air and banged his skull again; blood sprayed
across the brown-spattered wall, and the room darkened.
The
entire flash had happened in the time it took the ogrillo to raise her club.
Deliann
tried to lift his free hand up to shield his head and neck, but he couldn't
make his arm work, couldn't even hold up his head. "If you've hurt her,
you mother—"
"Tchako,"
Kierendal said from the floor, her voice weak and shaken but strong enough to
save Deliann's life. "Don't. Don't hit him. Help me up."
The
ogrillo's coarse features twisted in a caricature of puzzlement, but she
lowered the club and went to Kierendal's side, extending a scaly hand to help
her mistress rise. Kierendal leaned heavily on her for a moment, and passed a
hand over her eyes. "Get the keys. Unlock his manacles."
"Kier,
you're not well—"
"Go,
damn you!" the feya snapped, and Tchako could not bear her displeasure.
She left, trailing a murderous glare at Deliann.
The
door closed behind her.
Kierendal
swayed, deprived of the ogrillo's support. She touched her face again, as
though assessing a fever, and then she sank to her knees beside Deliann, heedless
of the damage to her exquisite gown.
She
placed her hands upon his lap in the ancient gesture of fealty. "I—I can't
believe ... Deliann, I—"
"It's
all right, Kier," he said kindly. "I know it's overwhelming. I've had
two weeks to get used to the idea, and it still makes me want to scream and
never stop."
She
lowered her eyes, bending her long, graceful neck before him. "I am yours,
my prince. What would you have me do?"
Deliann
took a deep breath, and let himself believe that between the two of them, some
lives might still be saved.
"First,"
he said slowly, "we need to catch an Aktir."
And
each had his own role to play: the crooked knight defended the part-time
goddess; the part-time goddess served the land; the acolytes of dust and ashes
fed their master's hunger.
The
dark angel made war.
He
answered the call of the crooked knight; he used the part-time goddess to work
his will; he named the god of dust and ashes his enemy. On that day, the dark
angel broke his chains and went forth to battle.
FIVE
Hari
sat motionless in his uncomfortable chair, the pain in his back forgotten,
listening so hard he barely breathed around the knot in his guts. He knew the
voice.
This
weirdass-looking fey he didn't recognize, but he still had an Actor's ear for
voices. This voice stirred old memories, half buried in passing years; he eased
back in his chair and closed his eyes, shutting out the unfamiliar face,
concentrating on the familiar voice.
":..
but this is what you don't know. At least, I hope you don't know. By all I
hold sacred, I pray that even the monsters who control the Studio are not so
evil that you would inflict HRVP on us intentionally . . ."
HRVP?
On Overworld? His eyes jerked open and he jolted upright, staring at his
deskscreen. He couldn't seem to get his breath.
"Remember
that HRVP once came within an inch of destroying civilization, even with
vaccines and quarantines and the finest medical technology that Earth could
muster.
"Remember
that here, on Overworld, the primary method of healing is the laying on of
hands.
"Resist
the Blind God. The greed of your worst should not be allowed to triumph over
the conscience of your best. Fight it.
"You
are our only hope.
"We
are at your mercy.
"Save
us."
Hari
forgot about the voice; a tornado howled inside his head, and its silent roar
drowned out every thought, save one nerveless whisper: HRVP.
It
had to be a mistake. It had to be an accident. He must have heard wrong—he must
have. On a nontechnological world, HRVP was the perfect weapon. It could
wipe out every warm-blooded creature on the planet.
Except
for us, Hari thought.
HRVP
had been eradicated on Earth, brought to extinction by quarantine and
vaccination, more than fifty years ago. The final outbreak had come somewhere
in Indonesia, when a strain that had been preserved in an immunological
laboratory had escaped. Someone had leaked news of the strain's existence to
the local press, and the story sparked riots in which the laboratory had been
destroyed, burned to the ground—but not quite thoroughly enough.
Worldwide,
more than two million people died, roughly five hundred thousand of HRVP
itself; the other million and a half were victims of the victims. The standard
ratio, which had held roughly true for this one as it had for each large HRVP
outbreak since the beginning of the twenty-first century, was that an HRVP
sufferer killed an average of 2.8 people before either succumbing to the
disease or being killed himself. The Leisure Congress in Geneva had acted with
extraordinary swiftness: less than twelve hours after the outbreak was
confirmed, the island had been sterilized by a series of minimum-residue
neutron bombs. The deaths of one hundred and twenty-seven thousand islanders
were buried in the disaster's total—and they died for nothing.
Before
the worldwide network of slavelanes had gone online, it wasn't possible to
quarantine any large area, even an island; thousands of people had fled in
their cars at the first word of the outbreak. Within hours, the disease had
reached every continent. This was why there remained a mandate of universal
vaccination, even today.
Hari,
like many of his generation, had grown up with occasional nightmares of seeing
that neutron fireball blossom over his own head—but that was less terrifying
than the disease itself. The bald elf with the weirdly familiar voice had said
that HRVP came within an inch of destroying civilization; My father, Hari
thought mordantly, would argue with that.
Duncan
would say the inch was imaginary.
Everything
Duncan cherished in the history of human thought, from the democratic franchise
to those individual "rights" he so often insisted upon, had been
marched up the chute in the slaughterhouse of the Plague Years and had taken
the hammer square between the eyes.
The
regional and national governments, who were the sole guarantors of those
rights, had been completely helpless. A few nations adopted rational,
progressive HRVP policies, but they could enforce them only within their own
borders—what gains were made could be wiped out by an unlucky shift of the
wind. The national militaries became a dangerous, unfunny joke; chain of
command is a tricky thing, when one slip of an anti-infection protocol could
transform a competent commander into a raving homicidal paranoid. Twenty
years after the first outbreak of HRVP, there was no longer even the illusion
of a sovereign nation left on Earth—but there was still government.
For
centuries—dating back to the Dutch traders and the British East India
Company—multinational corporations had pursued their interests globally, as
opposed to the provincialism that made national governments so vulnerable. Even
before the Plague Years, many of the zaibatsus and the megacorps had
maintained private military forces, to protect their employees and interests in
places where the local governments were unwilling or unable to do so; these
giant corporations often had more claim on the loyalty of their employees than
did the nations in which these employees chanced to live. After all, the
corporation provided the employee's education, housing, child care, health
care, income, and finally, as nation after nation collapsed during the Plague
Years, the corporation also provided police and military defense. They had no
choice; corporations that failed in any of these fundamental responsibilities
swiftly found themselves unable to attract the high-quality workers they needed
to remain competitive in the unregulated, purely Darwinian jungle of
international business. When the nations collapsed, the corporations were
already in place, holding the gap.
They
were able to act with the ruthlessness that the ongoing crisis required, to act
in ways that the merely national governments could not. A national government
rules, finally, by consent of the governed; a corporation rules by consent of
the stockholders.
By
the time an effective, mass-producible HRVP vaccine was developed, the three
pillars of the current society—the caste system, the tech laws, and the Social
Police—were solidly in place.
The
caste system, the rigidly enforced social code that forbade cross-caste
personal contact, ensured that any outbreaks of HRVP would spread laterally
instead of reaching up to the really important people: the business directors,
the investment managers, and the majority stockholders—later to become
Businessmen, Investors, and Leisurefolk.
HRVP
was thought to have been a partially developed bioweapon that escaped from a
private laboratory; the tech laws, a loosely bound series of intercorporate
treaties, were designed to prevent precisely that kind of dangerous research.
The
Social Police enforced the caste laws; violation of a caste law was considered
prima facie evidence of HRVP infection. Minimum punishment was isolation
quarantine; more usually, violators were summarily executed.
Over
the years, caste violation penalties had been relaxed, but the scope of
the Social Police's mandate had expanded to include the defense of the social
order in the broadest terms, from monitoring compliance with the tech laws to
enforcing intercorporate contracts. Lower-priority crimes such as robbery,
assault, and murder were handled by the understaffed, underpaid, and overworked
CID.
Hari
wasn't naive enough to long for the vanished pre-HRVP days; due to his
semieducation under Duncan's direction, he was more aware than most that what
had seemed to be the convulsive transformation of the Plague Years had, in
truth, only codified and rigidified trends that had been evolving for
centuries.
It
would not be so on Overworld.
The
elf had said, Remember that here, on Overworld, the primary method of
healing is the laying on of hands.
The
trends of centuries would be irrelevant; no one would survive to continue them.
If HRVP could infect primals, it could probably kill stonebenders, treetoppers,
ogrilloi—given HRVP's ability to mutate and adapt to new hosts, it could be a
mass extinction on the scale of the Cretaceous die-off. Twenty years from now,
there might not be a warm-blooded creature alive on Overworld—and the ripple
effect on the ecosystem would destroy reptiles, insects, plants
The
prospect crushed air from his lungs as though stones were piled upon his chest.
No more lancers on lumbering destriers with armor shining in the sun; no
wizards; no cheery innkeepers and gap-toothed stableboys; no primals or
stonebenders; no treetoppers, griffins, trolls; no more Korish shamans raising
dust devils in the Grippen Desert; no ogrillo tribals marauding the fringes of
the Boedecken Waste; no more lonely wails of seniiane calling the
faithful to prayer in the dusk of Seven Wells; no Warrengangs . . . And the
numberless creatures now extinct on Earth, but surviving in the wilds of
Overworld: no more otters playing in sparkling streams, no more wolves pursuing
elk on the high plains, no whales singing to each other from oceans on opposite
sides of the world, no condors wheeling on mountain thermals, no coughs of
stalking cougars.
This
can't be happening.
It
made him want to stand up and howl.
Suddenly
he comprehended Tan'elKoth utterly: he was being smothered. Choked to death.
Earth had forced itself down his throat, and he was strangling on it. Overworld
was the only place he'd ever been happy. Overworld was freedom. Overworld was
life.
It
was home.
This
had to be some kind of mistake.
Viceroy
Garrette was ruthless, a stone motherfucker, but he wasn't a monster
Hari
recalled a story Duncan had pulled from a two-hundred-year-old hardbound book
of Western history: a story of European colonists who'd deliberately infected
natives on the American continent with a lethal disease called smallpox.
The
monsters who control the Studio, the elf had said.
I'm
one of the monsters he was talking about.
"Bastards,"
Hari snarled through his teeth. "Motherfucking bastards—" "Administrator?
I'm sorry?"
He
leaned toward the pickup beside his screen. "You're sure he's not an
Actor?"
Actors
can now speak English on Overworld, if they choose; they can even speak of
being Actors. The crusade that Toa-Sytell had led to rid the Empire of Actors
in the wake of For Love of Pallas Ril had turned the Studio
conditioning, which once had prevented Actors from betraying themselves or each
other, into the very means of that betrayal. Toa-Sytell had discovered that
Actors could always be identified by what they were unable to say; the
Studio's response had been to progressively decondition the Actors. Not a
single conditioned Actor was now on Overworld.
And
the elf thing—very, very few Actors had ever successfully played an elf, but
Hari was pretty sure there were five or six currently active, out of other
Studios.
"Pretty,
uh, pretty sure he's not an Actor, Administrator," one of the
techs answered him hesitantly. "We're running a transponder autoscan,
but so far all we're getting from Rossi's vicinity is Rossi."
Hari
nodded to himself. What the elf was doing was brilliant, in a pathetic sort of
way. Somehow this elf understood that Actors are the Overworld eyes and
ears of the wealthiest and most influential people on Earth. Faced with a
crisis that could not be met by anyone on Overworld, he turned to the soft
hearts of Earth's romantics. A few thousand Leisurefolk—a few hundred—seeing
this, could pressure the Studio, even the Leisure Congress itself, to mount
a relief operation, to find a way to distribute vaccine, to save at least some
of the billions of lives that would otherwise be lost. Brilliant.
What
made it pathetic was that he'd picked the wrong Actor. Rossi had no audience.
No one who mattered was watching this—no one at all. Well, no, Hari
admitted to himself. That's not quite true.
Rossi
had an audience of one.
And
just that simply, Hari knew who it was, the bald and sickly looking elf with
the queerly familiar voice. How does an elf learn English? There's only one
answer, curious as it was: he doesn't.
He's
not an elf. But he's also not an Actor. A motto percolated up from the depths
of some story Duncan had made him read as a boy: When one eliminates the
impossible, whatever remains-however improbable—must be the truth.
Hari
whispered,"... oh, my god ..."
He
looked through the image on his deskscreen, out through Rossi's eyes, into
golden eyes he had not seen in nearly thirty years. He remembered—He remembered
the white plastic surgical mask, worn to protect the progress of the elving. He
remembered the gift for intuitive solutions—He remembered the cold courage--He
He
remembered the debt he owed.
He
murmured, "Kris ...."
Kris
Hansen looked into him now through Frank Rossi's eyes. Kris Hansen asked him,
without even knowing it, for his help.
Hari
felt something crack inside his chest; something broke and released a nameless
flood that surged fiery and humming into his arms, into his head. You want
my help, Kris?
"You'll
fucking well get it," he muttered.
"Administrator?
Is something wrong?"
Hari
hissed softly through his teeth, gathering scattered thoughts into a
semicoherent plan of action. "Don't do anything," he said. "I'm
on my way down."
"What
about his audience?"
"Fuck
his audience, technician." He leaned on the word to remind the tech
of their relative ranks. "Keep feeding to my desk until you hear
otherwise."
"Acknowledged."
He
pitched his voice to the screen's command tone and said: "Iris: initiate
telecommunication. Screen-in-screen. Execute." A screen-in-screen box
popped up that overlaid Rossi's POV feed. He began to enter the connection code
for Businessman Westfield Turner, the Studio President, already rehearsing in
his head what he would say. Listen, Wes, this is urgent. We need to get on
this right away, I have an idea
He
hesitated, fingers hovering above the keypad, one stroke away from completing
the call.
The
President wasn't known for his decisiveness. He might stall; he might kick the
decision upstairs to the Board of Governors in Geneva. Days might pass
before Hari got the authority to act as he knew he needed to act. Authority
might never be granted at all.
Sometimes
it's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
He
hit the cancel, then keyed in a new code. Another box popped up in a corner of
his deskscreen, overlaying a close-up of maggots crawling from a blackened
mouth. Within the box grinned the permanently youthful, professionally
cheerful, recorded face of Jed Clearlake, managing producer and star of Adventure
Update, the "Only Worldwide Twenty-Four-Hour Source for Studio
News"—the number one rated news site in the history of the net.
The
recording said, "Hi! I'm Jed Clearlake, and this is my personal message
site. Begin recording at any time by pressing Return or clicking on the radio
button below."
Hari
hit the key and said, "Real time AV. Command code Caine's here." The
image in the box wiped to a solid black screen. White letters scrolled across
it:
PRESENT
SAMPLE FOR MATCHING.
"He
who lives by the sward shall die by my knife," Hari said softly.
"That's prophecy, if you like."
CONFIRMED.
The
image that came up now within the box had the grainy 1024 x 780 resolution of
palmpad video, but Clearlake's smile was brilliant as ever. "Yeah,
Hari, what's up? I'm in a meeting."
"I've
got a hot one for you, Jed. A full POV from one of my ISP Actors."
"What,
too hot to blip to my site? I mean, come on, Hari, there's only so many hours
in the day, and I'm with a seven figure advertiser right now."
"This
isn't something I can leave lying around in your message dump. I'm going to
load it straight to your palmpad. Don't lose this, Jed. You'll understand when
you see it."
"Hari,
Jesus Christ, what did I just tell you?"
"And
who are you talking to? If it wasn't for me you'd still be working for that
Underwood buttrag as the fucking Ankhanan Affairs Correspondent. Whatever
happened to `God bless you, Administrator Michaelson, I owe you my career, you
goddamn weasel? You ever want to get another tip out of this Studio as long as
you live?"
Clearlake
looked like he had suddenly developed a terrific headache. "How long is
it?"
"Five
minutes, tops. You won't be sorry."
"I
hope you're right."
Hari
pulled up the call file from his deskscreen's memory core, selected CURRENT and
INCOMING: CAVEA, and dragged the icon onto Clearlake's box on the screen. A
progress bar popped up, slowly filling as the file began to upload.
It
had reached only 7 percent completion when it self-terminated. Hari frowned.
"What the fuck?"
"Hari,
what is this crap? Some funny-looking bald elf yapping like a monkey, this is
your hot story?"
"Give
me a second," he muttered, but when he went to reselect INCOMING: CAVEA, a
dialog box popped up on his screen.
THE
SELECTED FILE CONTAINS MATERIAL THAT IS RATED CLASSIFICATION RED.
UPLOAD OF RED-RATED MATERIAL CONSTITUTES FELONY CORPORATE ESPIONAGE.
PENALTIES FOR FELONY CORPORATE ESPIONAGE
INCLUDE UP TO TEN YEARS IN PRISON, FINES OF UP TO TEN MILLION MARKS,
AND/OR PERMANENT DOWNCASTE TO WORKER STATUS.
CLICK OK TO ACKNOWLEDGE.
Hari
moved the cursor to the radio button marked OK, and clicked it.
Another
progress bar popped up, labeled DELETING RED-RATED FILES; it filled swiftly.
Before he could even move the cursor to save the current feed to a new file,
the feed wiped to black.
"Jed?"
Hari said grimly. "I'm gonna have to get back to you on this."
He
stabbed the cancel, and the box went blank. He sat very, very still for a long
silent moment, thinking hard. Some netmonitor program must have been set for
this; it wasn't hard to program a script to capture and respond to specific
words or phrases on a netwide basis—that technology was almost two hundred
years old. This one must have been set to capture references to HRVP on
Overworld. That meant somebody knew this was going to happen.
That
also meant he could guess who that somebody had to be. He was already in the
shit. In deep.
He
keyed the Security switchboard. "This is Michaelson. Put two guys in riot
gear on the door of the Cavea techbooth. No, don't—specials, make them
specials. Two specials in full gear. No one goes in or out until I get
there."
"Acknowledged."
He
punched a new code. The screen swirled into an image of Tan'elKoth's face.
"I am otherwise engaged," the image told him. "Leave a
message."
Hari
entered his override sequence. "Tan'elKoth, acknowledge," he said.
"Acknowledge, dammit. One goddamn question, all right?"
The
screen cross-faded into a real-time image: Tan'elKoth scowled at him. "I
am teaching," he said testily. "These are the hours that you,
Caine, yourself assigned to my seminar. You should know better than to
interrupt."
"Yeah,
whatever. What do you know about HRVP?"
His
scowl deepened, and he lowered his voice. "I am no physician," he
murmured, "but I have read widely in the history of your civilization.
Why?"
"No
time for a long story. Got an Actor here who might've been exposed. What are
the chances he could be infectious?"
"Exposed?
How could this Actor have been exposed? And when? And to which strain?"
"If
I wanted a bunch of useless fucking questions that I don't know the answers
to," Hari said, "I would've called a real doctor."
"Mm,
just so. Well. I would say—based upon my understanding that several strains of
HRVP are capable of remaining potent in the environment for weeks—that yes,
this Actor could possibly be infectious. He should certainly be isolated and
undergo an antiviral regime before being allowed to make a transfer."
"Yeah,"
Hari said heavily. "It's a little bit late for that."
"What
do you mean?" Tan'elKoth's
eyes widened. "Caine? What do you mean, it's too late?"
"No
time. Listen: I'm on my way over right now. Start pulling; I'm gonna need a
little of your on-the-net magick."
"Caine,
I am teach—"
"Dismiss
the class. This is more important. Believe me. Get your shit together,
Tan'elKoth. I'll explain everything when we get there." "We?
Caine—"
He
hit the cancel and rapidly entered one last code: his personal contact code for
Shanna.
The
look of annoyance fixed on her face when she answered would have stung him at
any other time; right now he had bigger problems. "Shanna," he said.
"Where are you right now?"
"I'm
in the car," she said, in a if
you weren't such an idiot you'd already know it tone. "I'm taking
Faith to Fancon in Los Angeles this morning, remember? You coded the travel
permit yourself"
"Yeah,
yeah, yeah, right. Shit," he said tiredly. Faith loved conventions, loved
meeting her parents' devoted fans—loved getting the day off school at the
Admacademy. Too bad, he thought. "She's with you now?"
Faith
leaned into the video pickup's field wearing a sunny smile. "Hi,
Daddy."
"Hi,
honey. Listen, I'm really sorry, but we have to change your plans." Her
face fell; watching disappointment gather in her sky-blue eyes cut Hari like a
slow knife. "But we're going to Fancon—"
"Change
plans?" Shanna said. "What
are you talking about?" "Turn the car around. I need you here
right away. Right now." "Hari, is this really important? I have a
panel at 1400—"
"Yes,
goddammit, this is important.
People's lives are at stake. How fast can you get here?"
Her
brows drew together. "It's that bad?"
"You
can't even imagine," he said feelingly.
She
glanced away from the screen, checking the car's position on the GPS map.
"Fifteen minutes."
"But,"
Faith protested, her lower lip
threatening tears, "but Fancon ..."
"Yeah,
and uh, listen—" Hari scrubbed his face with the palms of his hands,
trying to wipe away the sick dread that gathered in his throat. "Don't
bring Faith. Drop her at home, and get your Pallas gear, all right?"
He
refused to let himself be hurt by the spark of anticipation that danced in
Shanna's eyes. "It's that kind of problem?" she asked slowly,
like she was trying not to sound eager.
Faith,
too, suddenly brightened. "Mommy's going back to the river?" "Yeah,"
Hari said.
"Wow,"
Faith said happily. "I
thought we had to wait almost another month before we got to be together
again. A month is a long rime!"
"Then
you're all right about not going to the con?" Hari made himself ask.
"Uh-huh."
She nodded brightly. "I get
to have the river in my head instead. And you and Mommy won't be fighting all
the time."
Shanna
made a little grimace of apology through the screen; Hari waved it off.
"Meet me at the Curioseum," he said. "At Tan'elKoth's
place." He gave her a frown that asked her not to press for an
explanation.
She
nodded, that spark of anticipation now colored by a breath of wariness. "I'm
on my way. Give me an extra fifteen to drop off Faith and get my gear. Take
care of the permit."
"Yeah.
See you."
He
canceled the call and accessed the San Francisco travel site. It took him
only seconds to register her new destination; as Chairman, he had the authority
to code and alter travel permits for any Studio contractee.
It
took him one more thoughtful moment to accidentally reinitialize his
deskscreen's memory core. "Oops," he muttered flatly, as a keystroke
erased all traces of his communications.
"Damn,"
he said. "I hate it when that happens."
He
rose, and stretched to force blood into muscles stiff with long inactivity. Hey,
how about that? he thought.
My
fucking back doesn't hurt.
2
On
his way out, Hari stopped at the desk of his assistant. "Gayle," he said,
"there's something wrong with my deskscreen. I think I lost some data. Can
you look at it for me?"
Gayle
Keller peered up at him and blinked; he had a round face, close-set eyes, and a
long nose that made him look like a nearsighted rat. Keller had been Arturo
Kollberg's assistant; Hari had despised him for years, and six years of closer
association had only intensified the feeling. He was pretty sure Keller
supplemented his Studio paycheck by keeping the Social Police up to date on
Hari's activities, and it wasn't even a secret that Keller filed regular
confidential reports with the Studio's Board of Governors. Shortly after
becoming Chairman, Hari had begun proceedings to have Keller replaced—until
he'd received a call from Westfield Turner himself, who'd reminded him
heavy-handedly just how difficult it is to find a quality assistant, after
all. Keller was, in Hari's clinically unbiased opinion, an unctuous lying
little fuck.
"Administrator?"
he said, looking politely puzzled. "Perhaps I should calla tech?"
"Aw,
come on, Gayle." Hari forced a grin, looking as good-natured as he could
manage. "You've been working with this system for twenty years. Where are
you gonna find a tech who knows it better than you do? Just have a look, huh?
If you can't fix it, go ahead and call MIS."
Keller
pushed himself back from his desk with an irritated little sigh, got up, and
went into Hari's office. As soon as he was out of sight within, Hari started
fiddling with the keypad to Keller's deskscreen. "See, all I did was
something like this—"
"Don't
touch that!" Keller suddenly appeared in the doorway. "I mean,
please, Administrator—"
"Oops,"
Hari said. "Guess I know what not to do, huh?"
"Here,
let me—"
"No,
no problem," Hari said. "Here, all you have to do is—" and another
couple of keystrokes reloaded the previous day's backup. Mod-ern lasergel-core
memory has none of the flaws of the antique magnetic media that it had
replaced. Core data is 100 percent stable, but it's also nonpersistent:
reinitialization physically scrambles the gel medium. Once the core was
overwritten by the intersecting UV lasers, no data-recovery software on Earth
could recreate whatever Keller had recorded of Hari's communications.
Keller
glared at him, his piggy little eyes gleaming with suspicion. "You did
that on purpose," he said tightly.
Hari
shrugged. "I can't seem to get the hang of this new software."
"I
don't believe that. I don't believe that for one second. I don't know what
you're up to, but I have a duty to the Board—"
"Hey,
my fault. I'm sorry," Hari said easily, stepping close to look down into
the little man's eyes. "I screwed up. When you make your report, I guess
you should remind the Board that the only thing I was ever really good
at is killing people with my bare hands."
He
looked long and deeply into Keller's eyes, until he saw the threat settle there
and begin to work its magic on his attitude.
Hari
left while Keller was still trying to come up with some kind of reply.
3
Rover
waited with gleaming patience at the open door of Hari's private lift. It was a
five-minute walk from the lift to the Cavea's techbooth. Rover whirred
precisely two paces behind his left heel.
He
stopped outside the door. The two Security specials stood motion-less to either
side like a pair of caryatid columns, power rifles held diagonally across their
chests at parade rest. Hari stood for a moment, taking a deep breath.
"I
am Chairman Administrator Hari Khapur Michaelson," he said. The specials
replied in flat unison, "You are recognized."
The
back of his neck always tingled when he came close to a special; he remembered
too well the time one of these cyborged bastards shot him in the head. He could
still feel the hammer of gelslugs against his skull every time he looked at
one. The cyborg yokes around their necks overrode their higher cognitive
functions, making them incorruptible, robotically faithful in the performance
of their duties, and incapable of disobeying an order.
"Allow
no one except myself to enter or leave this room without my express authorization."
"Acknowledged."
Walking
between them still gave him a twinge.
Inside
the booth, the two techs stared at him like nervous puppies, wondering if they
were in trouble; they rose as he entered, respectfully silent.
Hari
nodded to them. He glanced through the glass reflexively, into the Cavea; the
thousand or so empty first-hander berths out there tied a brief knot in the pit
of his stomach; shit, Caine had sold out the Cavea every Adventure for ten
years—now he had ten Actors at once working out of SF's main hall and they could
only pull four thousand between them. And god only knew how many of the private
boxes that climbed the walls were empty.
He
shook it off. None of that counted right now.
He
scanned the curving bank of POV screens until he found Rossi's. The show was
still going on: now each time Rossi's gaze settled upon a body, shadowy
ghost-images of that person's living days played around it. Translucent mothers
cradled half-seen infants; cloudy children skipped and laughed and threw apple
cores at each other; youths spun of smoke and cobwebs played plaintive love
songs, wrote poetry, and stole away together among the blasted, dying trees.
And
through each shape, as through half-melted glass, could be seen the bloated, raven-picked
corpse, blackened with decay, that was the end of each bright smile and
mother's kiss.
"You've
guessed by now that what you are seeing is a Fantasy—what humans call illusion.
There will be those who will try to tell you that Fantasy is the opposite of
reality, that it is the same as lies, that what you have seen is
impossible—that it is a lie because
it is a Fantasy. I tell you this is not so.
"It
is the greatest gift of my people, that we can bring our dreams to life for
other eyes. Fantasy is a tool; like any tool, it may be used poorly or well. At
its best Fantasy reveals truths that cannot be shown any other way."
"This
is a Fantasy of what I'm asking you to fight. This is a Fantasy of the Blind
God."
Hari
frowned at the screen and made a faint, thoughtful hissing noise between this
teeth. This was the second time Hansen had mentioned this blind god—or was it
the Blind God? He'd heard about this before, somewhere, or maybe read it ...
One of his father's books? Maybe. He'd ask Duncan about it when he got the
chance; he might know the reference.
Hari
nodded toward the screen. "Get ready to pull him. On my mark"
"Pull
him—?" The techs exchanged worried frowns. "What for? He doesn't even
have an audience."
"Just
do it, Technician. That's an order."
"Administrator,
we can't do that not with the native there. It's an exposed transfer—the
Kollberg Rule—"
"Fuck
the Kollberg Rule," Hari said distinctly. He thought of one of Duncan's
dicta: All authority, political or otherwise, is ultimately a cloak for naked
force—and sometimes you have to remind people of that. "I'll give you
a choice. You can pull him because it's a direct order, or—"
"But
the rule—"
"Or,"
Hari overrode him, "you can
pull him because one of those specials outside has a power rifle jammed against
the back of your head. Any questions?"
The
tech squinted like a kid flinching away from his father's fist. "No,
sir," he said, and turned back to his board.
Hari
looked at the other. "And you?"
"Me?
I, I, I didn't say nothing. Sir."
"All
right, then."
He
stared expressionlessly into the tech's eyes until this one, too, turned to his
board.
Now
on the POV screen, the elf was back in view.
"And
I, at least, am no Fantasy."
The
elf reached toward Rossi's face, his hand vanishing below the Actor's peripheral
vision.
"I
am real. Feel my touch. I am here. In the name of all that both our peoples
hold sacred, I ask for your help."
Hari
listened with only half his attention; with the elf's voice to cover any small
noises he might make, he thumbed the reject on one of the dual gravers that
recorded Rossi's Adventure. When the cube popped up, he palmed it and swiftly
replaced it with a blank from the rack below.
His
teeth showed through a particular variety of grin he hadn't used in nearly
seven years. "Y'know what?" he said. "I think you're right about
that exposed transfer."
The
techs flicked brief glances at each other, afraid to be caught looking away
from their screens.
"Sir?"
one of them said.
"Yeah.
It's not worth the risk. Pull him at your first opportunity, and then get his
ass back into his storyline ASAP. Call Scripting and have them work out the
transition; have a faxpack ready for him. Then we can just forget any of this
ever happened, huh?"
4
The
screen showed the animated image of the friendly stenographer that indicated an
open channel to the automated recording function of the Report Center. With
what he imagined to be cool, professional competence, Gayle Keller made his
report.
"At
1017 this morning, visual transmission resumed from J'Than aka Francis Allen
Rossi," he said, reading from his notes. He pitched his voice toward his
best imitation of the smooth tones of a professional broadcaster; he liked to
imagine that occasionally the Board of Governors themselves played his
recordings, and in his fond imaginings he saw a dozen Leisurefolk, faceless
With absolute power, listening intently around a long oval table—they would nod
to each other, favorably impressed with the skill of his delivery and his rich,
round vocal tones
"In
what was later determined to be an illusion, J'Than aka Rossi appeared to be in
an elven village, which had been destroyed by what was claimed to be an
outbreak of HRVP on Overworld. This was reported directly to Chairman
Michaelson from the techbooth; immediately on learning of the supposed HRVP
outbreak, Chairman Michaelson undertook several real-time communications.
Following this, he forcibly erased all record of his transactions from his own
desk's memory core, and from that of this reporter. He also threatened this
reporter with bodily injury or death."
There,
Keller thought smugly. The Board
would make certain Michaelson couldn't escape the consequences of such
behavior.
"Chairman
Michaelson then proceeded to the Cavea's techbooth, where—once again under the
threat of bodily injury or death—he ordered the duty tech to perform a transfer
that may have been exposed, in violation of the Kollberg Rule—"
He
was interrupted by an attention chime from the speaker on his deskscreen.
"Artisan
Gayle Keller. You are instructed to remain at your current screen. Hold for
voice communication from the Adventures Unlimited Board of Governors."
Keller
gagged, then coughed convulsively, spraying spit across his deskscreen. In
sudden panic, seeing in his head an irrational vision of the Board staring out
at him, knowing they had just been spit upon, he wiped frantically at the
screen with the sleeve of his jumpsuit and nearly put his elbow right through
it. He had imagined this event so many times that even now, he wasn't sure it
was actually happening—but he guessed this must be real.
In
his daydreams, he was never this frightened.
He
placed his hands on the desk in front of him and tried not to notice how they
trembled. He breathed deeply, in and out, in and out, until he became quite
light-headed—but still, when the Report Center's friendly stenographer
dissolved into the armored knight on the back of the winged horse, rampant,
that was the official logo of the Studio, he knew that all the deep breathing
in the world wouldn't melt the ball of ice that grew in the bottom of his
throat.
"Artisan
Keller. Expand upon this transfer that Michaelson ordered by threat of
force."
That
simply, that coldly, with that precise lack of ceremony or pre-amble, Gayle
Keller found himself in the telepresence of the Board of Governors.
Chairman
Michaelson had spoken, now and again, of the digitized, electronically neutral
voice that represented the Board of Governors, so that one never knows
precisely who's talking or whom one is talking to. One never even knows who is
on the Board at any given time, only that there are between seven and fifteen
of them, drawn always from the Hundred Families, the elite of the elite of the
Leisure caste. Their identities are carefully protected, so that the Studio
System as a whole maintains its status as an unbreathable public trust—no
private pressure can be brought to influence the Board members' decisions if no
one knows who they are. It was rumored that even the Board members were unaware
of each other's identities, that the entire Board met only in virtual space,
each member participating from his own private screen.
To
Keller, this had always seemed a sensible, full explanation of the blank
anonymity of the Board. Only now, faced with the static logo on the screen and
the passionless neutrality of the voice, did he gather a glimmering of some
larger truth. The absolute impersonality of the Board had a power of its own.
"The,
hrm, the, the transfer?" Keller stammered. "Mmm, yes—" He made
the tale as concise as he could manage; rather than becoming more easy as
he spoke, he found his fright inching toward blank terror. Without any of the
visual cues—no nods of the head, no smiles, no frowns, no hint of posture or
demeanor, none of the encouraging Mmm-hmm or Yes, go on of
ordinary conversation, he couldn't tell if his report was being received with
warm paternal indulgence, lethal fury, or somewhere inbetween.
"Do
you have any analysis?"
"Uh,
analysis? I, uh—"
"Do
you know, or are you able to guess, why Chairman Michaelson was determined to
make this transfer, to the point of threatening physical force, and then
arbitrarily changed his mind?"
He
rubbed his palms together below his desk, trying to wipe away their thick slimy
coating of sweat. "I, uh, no, I guess ... I mean, I can't guess, I haven't
really thought—"
"These
real-time communications. With whom did he speak?"
"I
don't, I can't, ah—" He stopped himself and forced a deep breath.
"Ordinarily I, ah, copy the Chairman's communications files from his
deskscreen while he's out of the office, but ... well, the data cores, you
know—"
"Do
you have any evidence, documentary or otherwise, that the data erasure was an
intentional act of sabotage?"
Did
they think he was lying? Or did they want something they could hold over the
Chairman's head? How much trouble was he in?
"I,
uh, I, well—no, not directly. B-but, why would he have threatened me, if he
wasn't trying to hide something?"
His
voice trailed off; his face green in the light cast from that still logo. The
motionless knight on the winged horse stared back at him for an unreasonably
long moment.
Then,
finally, blessedly, he heard, "Artisan Keller. You are dismissed.
Return to your duties."
Keller
stared at the blank grey rectangle of his deskscreen for a long time, then
jerked as though he'd started from a doze and jumped to his feet. He really,
really needed to use the toilet.
5
The
lift opened onto a service hallway of blank white walls, steel-colored doors,
and nondescript carpet. There was age here, mold tracks on the walls and dust
in the semicirculated air, a sharp contrast to the immaculate public areas of
the Studio. Hari marched some distance along its wide curve, Rover whirring at
his heels. A palmlocked security door let him onto the skywalk.
The
skywalk between the Studio and the Curioseum was little more than a transparent
tube a half-klick long with all-weather polyester carpeting laid along its
narrow floor. A low grey overcast spat drizzle that rippled the view through
the armorglass, and the whisper of atmosphere control was barely audible above
the patter of raindrops. Hari walked fast over the honeycombed car hive
twenty-odd meters below, over the ten-meter-high security fence that ringed it.
He
reached the Curioseum's security door and pitched his voice to his chair's
command tone. "Rover: Stay." The chair settled in place and locked
its brakes; Hari sat down, shifting his weight from side to side, grimacing—it
was bad enough, using this thing when he needed it; he couldn't get
comfortable, couldn't make himself settle into this chair, with a pair of
working legs.
He
reached up and flattened his hand against the palmlock's screen. The security
program's voder replied, "Access denied. Persons dependent upon
bioelectronic implants may not enter this facility pursuant to the Liability
Reduction Act of—"
"Michaelson
one override."
"Please
present sample for matching."
"
'Then it's Tommy this and Tommy that and "Tommy, 'ow's yer soul?" '
" Hari said with flat dispassion. " `But it's "Thin red line of
'eroes" when the drums begin to roll. "
The
door hissed aside, revealing a small airlock-type compartment, just large
enough for three or four people to stand in comfortably. On the far side was a
steel door secured with a large drop-latch instead of a palmlock. "Welcome
to the Curioseum, Administrator Michaelson."
Hari
made a face; he hated this part. The boundary effect was murder.
He
took a deep breath and rolled across the threshold. As soon as the skywalk door
hissed shut behind him, his legs began to jerk and twist like the galvanic
response in a dissected frog muscle. He snarled under his breath as he
maneuvered the chair around so he could swing up the bar on the inside door;
his legs knotted into cramps that felt like somebody had sunk dry ice meat
hooks into his thighs.
Crossing
the boundary between Earth physics and the Overworld-normal field of the
Curioseum was always a race between his hands and his asshole: he had to get
that inner door open before he lost control of his bowels. In the boundary, the
ON field sort of mingles with Earth physics, and the goddamn bypass just goes
berserk Once he was all the way into the ON field, the bypass just surrendered.
After
what felt like an hour, he managed to lift the drop-latch and push open the
door. Instantly all the feeling drained out of his legs. He thumped his thighs
a couple of times with his fists to make sure they weren't still
cramping. They seemed to be relaxed; the muscle jiggled slackly under his
hands.
Just
meat, now.
Like
having a couple dead dogs strapped to my ass, he thought. Except I can't eat them.
He
rolled on along the hallway; heading for the balcony that ringed the Hall of
Fame. When he rolled out onto the balcony, the immense exhibition hall suddenly
blazed with light. Hanging in the center of the hall, suspended from thin,
almost invisible guy wires, was a dragon.
Thirty-five
meters of sinuous power, her titanic wings spread a translucent pavilion over
the entire hall, and her scales shone iridescent diamond. Her long saurian neck
arched high, her titanic mouth gaped with hooked teeth as long as Hari's
forearm, and from that mouth gouted flame like a solar flare, scarlet and
orange and yellow bursting from eyesearing white at its core. At the center of
that unimaginable fire, on a small circular dais twenty meters below, a figure
in shining armor knelt in an attitude of prayer, hands folded upon the hilt of
a broadsword. A Shield of shimmering blue warded the flames that melted the
very stone on which he kneeled.
Hari
gave the scene just the barest glance. The armor there was real; it had
belonged to Jhubbar Tekanal—the Actor Raymond Story. The dragon was real, too,
most of her; he'd sent the expedition himself to the site of the battle and
salvaged her scales. He wondered briefly if Kris Hansen had ever watched the
recording of Story's legendary three-day battle against Sha-Rikkintaer. He had
a vague recollection that Story had been Hansen's favorite Actor.
He
rolled on, faster, scowling.
He
hated this fucking place. He'd fought the whole idea of a Hall of Fame, but
he'd been overruled by president Turner with the support of the Board of
Governors. Turner had said it would be a valuable tourist attraction, and the
Bog had agreed, and Hari had to admit they were right: the Hall of Fame was
less than a fifth of the Curioseum, but it was the primary draw for 90 percent
of the visitors.
He
turned the chair and pumped its wheels, rolling along the balcony toward a long
spiral ramp that led down to the ground floor. He had to keep his ass moving:
this place would open at noon, and he had a lot to get done before it filled up
with tourists. He pushed the wheels harder, gaining speed even before he swung
onto the ramp. He coasted all the way down, half braking with his palms against
the wheel rims. He rolled off the ramp and bled velocity in a long, slow curve
that brought him to a stop in the middle of the gallery that led to the Caine
Hall.
Small
in the distance, waiting for him at the far end of the gallery, was Berne.
Inside
a large case of armorglass in the middle of an archway, he was posed in a
fighting crouch. He wore clothes of close-fitting serge, once red but now
faded to strawberry—the same clothes he'd had on when Caine killed him. He had
a snarl on his face and both hands on the hilt of Kosall, the wide-bladed
bastard sword angled before him as though he guarded the arch against a fierce
enemy.
Hari
forced himself to roll the chair forward. I always think I can cruise right
past here, not even think about it, just roll on by
And
I am always dead fucking wrong.
The
armorglass case was overpressured with some kind of preservative gas—a faint
chemical stench always lingered in the air around it. Taxidermy was a very
efficient art these days: the Curioseum staff had simply cleaned him up,
patched the slices in the clothes, covered the hole. in his skull with a wig,
posed his corpse, and shot him full of something to rigidify the muscles.
And
there he was: the real Berne. The real Kosall.
The
most popular single exhibit in the whole Curioseum.
Hari
stopped beside the case and forced himself not to read the plaque. He knew it
by heart, anyway. He stared up into Berne's glittering eyes.
Sometimes
I have trouble remembering that you lost, and I won. He set his teeth in a silent snarl and pushed on.
6
The
broad mission door that fronted Tan'elKoth's apartment stood open, and Hari
rolled through the arched doorway without knocking, without even slowing.
The
apartment was huge and open, converted from one of the Curioseum's exhibition
halls. Smaller than the titanic halls devoted to Jhubbar and Caine, it
nonetheless towered a full three stories to the thick skylight of armorglass.
On the ground floor was an immense entertainment area scattered with furniture
custom-designed for Tan'elKoth's enormous body, arranged to create the feeling
of separate rooms: a living room, a kitchen, a den. A simple sweep of staircase
would take one up through the open light well to the second floor, which held
Tan'elKoth's bed and personal spaces; a second sweep would take one to the
third floor, where Tan'elKoth maintained his studio. On that third floor, in
the full sun that streamed through the skylight, he sculpted the statuary that
dotted the apartment—and that also graced the homes of fashionable Leisurefolk
around the world; a Tan'elKoth original had become a hallmark of good taste.
At
least that's what Tan'elKoth said was up there. With no ramps in
the apartment, Hari had never been above the ground floor. He'd never had
a reason to go up urgent enough to make it worth the humiliation of asking
Tan'elKoth to carry him.
Tan'elKoth's
kettledrum rumble echoed hollowly through the cavernous space, though he was at
the farthest corner of the apartment. "No, Nicholas, green. Not
chartreuse. Green. The green of young oak leaves in April."
He
knelt in seiza on the carpet in the den area, at the head of a small
oval of two men and three women in similar posture. He wore precisely faded
dungarees and a polo shirt that stretched like latex over his enormous chest
and shoulders, looking every inch the casually stylish Professional. The other
five in the oval wore the short-sleeved white shirts, neckties, and chinos of
junior Professionals; none of the five looked very much at ease, and a couple
were openly sweating.
This
was Tan'elKoth's graduate seminar in Applied Magick. Every year, the top five
Battle Magick students from the Conservatory were awarded the opportunity to
come here and do advanced study under Tan'elKoth. The Studio was not in the
business of giving out free rides, even to political prisoners. In the
mornings, he taught; in the afternoons, he did two matinee
lecture/demonstrations per day for the crowds in the Curioseum.
He
conducted his seminar in his home, because the Overworld-normal field that
sustained his phase-match with Earth also allowed the use of Flow. Only the
most minuscule amount was available here—generated by the plants in the
arboretum and the animals in the bestiary, as well as the tiny energy traces
left behind by the Curioseum's innumerable tourists—but it was enough for tiny,
basic effects.
"I,
I, uh, haven't, I mean, I've seen pictures of an oak—" the pale
student began.
"Less
yellow, then. Can you not see the color your classmates project?"
"But sir, this is the color that I've always—"
"And
that is why you are last in this class, Nicholas. Any fool can enchant a bit of
herb; to master the molding of life itself, one must use green! This green.
If you cannot summon the hue for yourself, at least try to open your blurred
and misty consciousness long enough to perceive mine."
"Why
can't I just memorize the spell?"
"Spells
are for fools, Nicholas. They are a crutch for adepts who lack the discipline
of a true thaumaturge. The true master of magick forms his intention and
charges it with Flow by the pure action of his will: make it real within, and
the Flow will mirror your reality without. That is true—"
"Hey,"
Hari said flatly. "Didn't I tell you to dismiss your fucking class?"
Tan'elKoth's
leonine head turned with ponderous, inhuman deliberation: a temple guardian of
stone coming slowly to life. He gathered a cavernous breath and unfolded
smoothly to his feet. "Students. Rise for the Chairman."
The students
scrambled upright, four of them blinking at being so suddenly roused from their
meditation. All five stood at attention, their faces reflecting various degrees
of awe and dread. "Class dismissed," Hari said. "Beat it. All of
you."
The
only movement any of them made was to cast dubious glances toward Tan'elKoth.
Tan'elKoth stood with arms folded across his ogre-sized chest. "This is my
home," he said. "These are my students. I fulfill the task that you
have given me. Chairman or no, do not presume to give orders here."
"Here's
a fucking order," Hari said sharply, leaning forward in his chair.
"Sit down and shut up. This is too important for us to waste time on your
shit."
Tan'elKoth
didn't move. "You cannot comprehend how offensive this is."
"Yeah, maybe not. You've known me how long? And you still expect me to
have manners?"
"Manners?
Hardly. Thoughtfulness, perhaps; consideration of the few shreds of dignity
that you have allowed me to—"
"Drop
it," Hari said flatly.
"I
can only hope that you bring me glad news: perhaps this HRVP of yours has
broken out among the elves, and you have come to help me celebrate."
Fuck
it, Hari thought. He wants it
standing up, he'll goddamn well take it standing up. "That's
right," he said. "There's been an HRVP outbreak among the elves. And
you know what? That Actor I was asking about, the one who might be exposed?
He's in Ankhana."
Tan'elKoth's
eyes went wide and blank, and his breath escaped in a fading hiss. He groped
for the back of a chair into which he could lower himself, missed it, and
stumbled like a drunk.
"I
told you," Hari said. "You should have sat down."
He
looked at the students. "Last chance. Beat it."
Again
they glanced at Tan'elKoth; he covered his eyes with one hand and waved them
away. They scattered without a word,. gathering up their belongings and
hustling out the door.
"Caine
..." Tan'elKoth said weakly. "Please say this is but a cruel
jest." "Yeah, sure," Hari said. "I'm famous for my
sparkling sense of humor. Pull yourself together. We have work to do."
7
The
keys to Tan'elKoth's deskpad felt alien under Hari's fingertips: a strange
mechanical resistance, as though the pad itself fought back against his touch.
Instead of an electronic pad, Tan'elKoth's was a mechanical rod-and-lever
linkage, like an antique typewriter. The rods sank through the well cut in the
center of Tan'elKoth's immense rolltop desk, down into the shielded receptacle
in the floor where the actual electronics lay, protected from the effect of the
Curioseum's ON field.
Hari
stared at the angled mirror propped on the desktop by an ornate stand of
wrought brass. The mirror reflected a rectified image of a screen that actually
sat beneath his feet in the subfloor receptacle.
Tan'elKoth
lay flat on the floor beside Hari's sandals, one massive arm stretched downward
into the receptacle, his forefinger lightly brushing the cube in the screen's
socket. The cube held the recording of Hansen's performance with J'Than.
The
unfamiliar feel screwed up Hari's typing; it took him a couple tries to key in
Clearlake's priority access code. And the speaking tube down to the audio
pickup altered his voice enough that he had to repeat the Caine quote three
times before the security program recognized him. The mirror finally assembled
an image of Clearlake's face.
"Hey,
Jed," Hari said with a tight smile. "Ready for this?"
"For
that story you were talking about? I did a little analysis on what you sent me
already from some of the bodies, I'm seeing signs—"
"Don't
say it," Hari interrupted. "We can't talk about it on an open line.
Just tell me if you're ready for an upload."
"Hari,
I'm as ready as it gets," Clearlake
answered with a smile of his own. "I'm just wondering what's taking so
long."
"All
right. Now listen: this is important. What I'm about to send you? You need to
review it off-line. There's a security capture keyed to a couple words
in here—I've got a countermeasure, but it's ablative. Save it for the
broadcast."
"Security
captures and countermeasures-just how big is this?" "As big as it gets, Jed."
"You
sure I'll want to
broadcast?"
Hari
nodded. "I'm thinking special edition; I'm thinking prime-time preempt.
I'm thinking license fees for clips from this report should run into eight
figures, easy."
"Bring
it on then, Hari. You've always been good luck"
Hari
leaned over to glance down at Tan'elKoth. "Ready?" he said softly.
Tan'elKoth's reply had the hollow distance of mindview. "I
am."
It's
going to work Hari thought. His
fingers trembled, just a little bit. Not nerves, though, no: fuck nerves. This
was fun.
Maybe
not a whole lot of fun, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd had any at
all.
Hari
stroked the final key.
As
the file uploaded, Tan'elKoth channeled the tenuous Flow that obtained within
the Curioseum's Overworld-normal field into the net. A living nervous system is
the natural interface between Flow and the material world; Tan'elKoth could
gather Flow here and funnel the energy across the boundary by touch. He
couldn't do much—the power he could exert in terrestrial physics was just one
hair this side of nonexistent—but a surge of a few microvolts in the right
place is all it takes to burn out a molecular circuit or randomize a couple
lines of code. He didn't even need to know exactly what he was
affecting—hardware, software, it didn't matter. Tan'elKoth had put it this way:
"A thing is what it does. My power becomes a needle that will prick any
hand which attempts to seize the dream within this cube."
Five
seconds of burst-feed later, it was done.
"Got
it," Clearlake said. "Confirmed."
"All right. Signing off, Jed—miles to go before I
sleep, that kind of thing."
"You
want your finder's percentage? If you're right about that eight figures, it
could run into a substantial chunk."
"Put
it in escrow," Hari said. "If this gets my ass fired, I'll need
it" "Will do. Later."
"Yeah."
Hari
hit the cancel and folded down the screen. Tan'elKoth rose and stretched until
his shoulder joints popped with a pair of meaty squelches. "Success."
"You're
sure?"
"I
am Tan'elKoth." This he said without even a ghost of a smile. Hari took a
deep breath. So far, so good.
This
was an improved version of what Hansen had been trying to do by capturing Rossi
in the first place—he'd been trying to get through to a group of first-handers,
in hopes of finding some Leisurefolk with big enough bleeding hearts to get
involved. But that was because he didn't understand first-handers. Hari did.
He'd built his life understanding first-handers.
Rossi's
first-handers could. have experienced everything on that cube and thought it
was nothing more than part of the story. For them, it'd be nothing they need
to do anything about, except sit back and watch how J'Than and the rest of
the ISP cast handle it. Hari's way, it would go onto the net, out of context.
Instead
of being part of a story, it was the story.
Instead
of watching the hero in place do something about it, each Leisureman and
Leisurewoman becomes the hero for their own little story: they see the problem,
they see they have the power to do something about it, and they make the choice
to do it or not, all on their own. Not too fucking bad, he thought. We're
off to a running start.
Tan'elKoth
cracked his enormous knuckles. "Now: I have done as you asked, and it is
time to move on. There is only one course of action, and we both know it: You
must return me to Ankhana without delay."
Hari
shook his head. "Not gonna happen."
Tan'elKoth
looked as though he might spit on the floor. "You waste all this effort,
all this thought, in persuasion. It is ultimately futile. Childish. You
depend upon your Leisure caste as surrogate parents, to act for you; thus shall
you inevitably fail."
Hari's
smile tightened. "We use what tools we have."
"Bah.
Useless tools produce nothing of use. Call upon me, Caine. I will help your
cause."
"You
have already."
"Of
course. And I will continue to do what you ask of me, everything you ask
of me—until and including the moment when you realize that all these plans are
useless. Your sole remaining choice is to send me home."
Hari
sighed. "It's not gonna happen," he repeated.
"Caine,
it must. Direct action is my world's only hope. Exposing this crime is a
worthy stroke, but it will not win the war. My people—my very world—is bent
beneath the axe. You must let me save it."
"Yeah,
sure," Hari said with a bitter smile. "Save the world, my ass."
"Why do you resist the inevitable?"
That's
the main question of my life, Hari
thought, but he said, "Because I can't fucking trust you."
The
ex-Emperor stiffened. "You doubt that I would save my Children?"
"Oh,
yeah, sure, your Children," Hari said. "But what about the elves?
Shit, Tan'elKoth, how stupid do you think I am? You think I forgot why the
Monasteries were supporting your government? Your policy on the other humanoid
races wasn't exactly a secret. Once your Aktir-tokar consolidated your
power over the nobles, you were gonna fire up your own personal genocide. I
have a feeling this primal friend of mine wouldn't be too happy to see you
back."
"Yet
I am his only hope."
"If
you were still Emperor, you'd be the number one suspect"
Tan'elKoth
came to Hari's side, towering over him, forbidding, unassailable. "The
power of a god is required, to avert this disaster. I am that god."
"No,
you're not"
"I
am. The gods of my world cannot intervene, bound as they are by the Covenant of
Pirichanthe. And even if they could—no god of my world has the faintest
understanding of virology, let alone the specifics of HRVP: the minds of those
gods are merely the sums of the minds of their worshipers. My world's only hope
lies in the action of a god who has both comprehension of HRVP and the power to
do something about it."
"Okay,
sure," Hari allowed, "But you're not the god."
Tan'elKoth's
rumble dripped sarcasm. "And which god, then, did you have in mind?"
"You
know her," Hari said. "She'll be here in about five minutes."
With
his comprehension, Tan'elKoth's expression twisted into one of distaste.
"She is unworthy of this task."
"Don't
start with me," Hari said through his teeth. "You know better."
"She is unworthy of you, Caine."
"Drop
it."
"She
is weak. Prissy. She holds herself removed from the realities of deity; I have
never understood why you tolerate her manifest frailties."
"Not
so weak," he said, heating up. "Not so weak she couldn't kick your
ass
"Perhaps
not; but so weak that she didn't. Not even to save your life, Caine."
Hari
lowered his eyes and turned his face away, struggling with his temper. Finally
he said, "You're not going back. You're never going back. Knowing what you
know about the Studio, Actors, what you know about Earth, with the kinds of
power you can throw around over there? No chance."
"You
would take the side of the Studio against me? Against my world? Caine,
who do you think has done this? Whom do you think you are fighting?"
"There's
fighting and then there's fighting," Hari said. "Send you back on my
own authority? They'd shoot me down like a dog. The Bog would blow up this
whole Studio to keep you off Overworld; shit, they'd nuke the city."
"And
even if your Board of Governors--the Bog, as you say—should be so rash, one
city is a small price to pay for an entire world."
"Yeah?"
Hari said flatly. "What if it's your city?"
Muscle
bulged around the corners of Tan'elKoth's jaw. "I am willing to take that
risk."
"Yeah,
well, I'm not. Once this story hits the nets, people are going to be all over
the Studio to do something about it; the Bog, all virtuous, will have to
point at me and say, `Through the swift and decisive action of Chairman Hari
Michaelson, and the power of the great Pallas Ril, the situation is already
under control: They're gonna have to thank me, don't you get it? When
Shanna gets back, Wes Turner will probably be giving her a medal."
Tan'elKoth
took a step back; with a slow breath, he drew himself up to his full height. He
seemed to change, somehow, inhaling some new reality along with his breath,
transforming his polo shirt and dungarees into a costume, and his tired, aging
face into a mask.
"You
are a brilliant tactician," he said slowly; remotely, with that quality of
performance as though he spoke once more for that audience inside his head,
"perhaps the most brilliant I have ever known. But tactics win only
battles; one can win every battle and still lose the war. Remember, in your
hour of darkness, that you were offered this chance, and you refused it."
Hari
squinted at him. "Y'know, I wouldn't swear to it, but that kind of sounded
like a threat."
Tan'elKoth
looked away, over Hari's head; his eyes drifted closed as though tired with a
familiar pain. "Your—" He seemed to search for the proper word. "—wife
. . . has arrived."
8
In
the empty silence left behind by the departure of Caine and his pet goddess,
minutes passed like days for the man who had once been a god. They had watched
their cube-trapped dream, made their plans, and left to save the world; now he
sat alone in the tenebrous gloom.
Silence
enfolded him, enwrapped his heart, soaked through his pores: silence so deep it
screamed with imaginary echoes. Silence was the fertile earth from which
sprouts of possibility budded within his far-ranging mind; these sprouts grew
to mighty fractal trees of world-paths, blossomed, and died, only to sprout
again in new variations for the future. Like a gardener, he sought ways to
guide this growth with gentle efficiency; like a gardener, he would use the
course of nature to his advantage.
Thus,
the thought, finding a branch upon
which the weight of his finger could curve the entire tree toward his desire; and
thus, another spot where his breath upon its bark would color the blooms of
this new curve; and finally, thus.
And
the tree of the future had the shape of his dreams.
He
had watched her—the mock-deity, the make-believe avatar of Chambaraya—watched
her review the captured dream, had watched the lust of her river sparkling
within her eyes. He had read there the joy of leaving behind this sterile hell
of concrete and steel; he had read that she had been only waiting for an
excuse.
I
can get you there right away, Caine
had told her, slowly, as though it hurt him to say the words. We'll do it
freemod, just like your regular shift—no audience, so we don't need approval
from the Scheduling Board. How long will it take?
Four
days, she had said. Maybe five.
Creating a new life-form is a complicated thing, even for a god; it'll take at
least that long to make sure my cure doesn't turn out to be worse than the
disease. Four or five days on Overworld, and I should have a safe countervirus.
And
thus did she pronounce her doom. Three days would be the measure of her life.
He
must act now; to wait until she had won his battle would cost him his war. Her
power would suffice against HRVP; but the true threat to his people came not
from the disease itself, but from the forces gathered behind it. Against those,
she had no hope; thinking her war won, she would return to Earth, and be
destroyed.
If
his people were to be saved, Ma'elKoth must live again.
The
men within him clamored for his attention; he opened the gates of his mind to
release them. He stood before them as a giant, and he regarded them coldly.
First among them, as he had ever been, was the fading palimpsestic remnant of
the contemptible weakling he'd once been: Hannto the Scythe.
Hannto
of Ptreia—Hannto the Scythe, the bent-backed asthmatic necromancer—had been
nearsighted, slight, and nervous, the lonely child of a journeyman scribe.
Hannto now begged for caution, cringing against the imagined humiliation of
failure. To Hannto, he said: I am more than you were. I am Tan'elKoth.
Failure is impossible.
At
Hannto's side stood a more recent tenant of Tan'elKoth's mind: Lamorak—Karl
Shanks—whose life had been etched permanently into Tan'elKoth's brain by magick
nearly seven years ago. Lamorak—who'd been terrorized by his older, tougher
brothers, who'd been beaten and nearly raped by Berne in the Imperial Donjon,
who'd lain helpless under Master Arkadeil's knives in the Theater of
Truth—haunted the darkest chambers of Tan'elKoth's mind, whispering surrender.
Lamorak
feared and hated Caine. His most potent memory was of that brilliant noon on
the arena sand, when Caine had drawn his neck against Kosall's irresistible
edge and tossed his head like a child's ball into Ma'elKoth's lap. Lamorak
regarded Pallas Ril with mingled lust and fury; his deepest desire was to fuck
her to death, yet his spirit was bound with chains of helplessness and despair.
Lamorak forever whispered that all is random, mere chance, that life is an
accident at the mercy of the universe's whim: since all is meaningless, it is
better to survive in safety, here as he was, than to engage in the pain and
risk of futile struggle. To Lamorak, he said, Life is mere chance only when
one allows it to be. I am more than you were.
Behind
Lamorak crowded ghosts of the many others consumed over his years as Ma'elKoth:
faceless, nearly shapeless shades, lives too small to remain distinct even in
this mock afterlife. Their voices blended together into an oceanic murmur,
begging that he remember them, that he love them, that he care for their
children. To the crowd, he said, Fear not, for I am with you.
He
marshaled his strength and pushed them all back within the gates, and locked
the gates against them. One figure alone remained to face him. Ma'elKoth.
Towering
in his strength, majestic in his armor of polished obsidian, his beard long and
bristling, his hair a pelagic cascade past his shoulders, his eyes black
diamonds. To Ma'elKoth, he said, I am coming. You shall live again.
And
the silent god within his mind lifted an omnipotent hand in benediction.
Tan'elKoth
breached once more the surface of his consciousness, to regard the wider world.
He typed a code into his deskpad. Each keystroke fell with a measured, echoic
cadence: the drumroll of an execution.
The
mirror of his screen lit with an animated image of a cheerful stenographic
clerk, sitting at a desk, and a pleasant voice told him that he could now
record a message for the Adventures Unlimited Board of Governors.
"I
am the Emperor-in-exile Tan'elKoth," he said with slow precision.
"Tell your Board of Governors this: in exchange for certain
considerations, I shall undertake to solve their Michaelson problem."
He
stroked the disconnect, and sighed.
Soon
now, he said to the god within. Soon.
9
Hari
stood on the techdeck. On the laser scale, beyond a transparent wall of
armorglass, lay the dull grey ceramic lozenge of Shanna's freemod coffin. He
tried not to imagine how happy she must be, lying there right now. The
freemod techdeck was a busy place, these days. Formerly, it had only been used
twice a year, to transfer the most recent graduates of the Studio Conservatory
to Overworld for their two-year freemod tour; this was the oldest Studio in the
system, and was the only Earthside freemod site. On Overworld, there were twenty-five
scattered freemod sites—not counting the Railhead in Thorncleft—all in remote
locations, all disguised as temples to a particularly forbidding spider god.
The
Overworld sites did not require extensive equipment; all they needed was a
small transfer pump to drive an Earth-normal field—for data storage and
communications—and some exceptionally sophisticated mechanical scales. The
freemod process is essentially a swap, an even trade of mass-energy between the
universes, and thus requires extreme precision in the weighing of materials to
be exchanged. The closer the mass-energy ratio to 1:1, the less energy was
required. Even the air inside the coffin was controlled to a nicety.
This
was the primary factor that had kept the San Francisco Studio afloat these past
few years. Once the studio had formed the Overworld Company and gone into
full-scale exploitation of Overworld resources, San Francisco had been the only
Studio with freemod technology already in place.
On
the far side of the techdeck, beyond another, larger window of armorglass, lay
the docks: an immense cavern of a room crowded with sealed crates, each labeled
in Westerling with their destinations. Off to another side were titanic slag
canisters the size of freight cars; when there were no supplies of equipment to
be sent, incoming shipments of ore were balanced by returning to Overworld the
waste products left after valuable metals had been refined out. The docks were
always loud with the rumble of heavy turbines; an endless stream of freightliners
landed and lifted off again outside.
But
Hari had no eyes for that now; he could only stare at Shanna's coffin, and
listen to the tech at his side mutter low-voiced corrections to another tech a
universe away.
Yeah,
better not fuck with Caine, he thought,
helplessly bitter. If he gets really pissed, he'll tell his wife on you.
He
shook his head sharply. Fucking cut it out, he snarled at himself. I
don't have to do everything myself Don't be such a suckass. Yet how was he
supposed to stand here and watch her go, and not ache with envy?
She'd
promised to look in on Kris. Hari knew Hansen was in for a bad time; a word of
hope from the goddess should do him wonders. She wouldn't have any trouble
finding him; once joined with Chambaraya, she became aware of every living
creature that partook of its waters. She'd said the recording had given
her a good enough sense of him that she would know his touch, even among the
hundreds of thousands of people in Ankhana, and she should make contact with
him, anyway: if he was carrying HRVP, he'd be her most convenient source
for a sample of the virus.
He
could still taste her lips. Just a little kiss, a little see ya later peck;
he couldn't have taken more.
For a
few minutes there, it had been almost like old times—he'd almost felt like he
could do things. For the brief span they'd spent walking from the
Curioseum, planning together, anticipating a little action, he'd almost felt
like they were a team again. Like they'd briefly been, back all those years
ago.
Before
they were married.
Be
careful, he'd told her,
trying—really trying to keep it light. You get in trouble over there this
time, l can't come and bail you out.
It
hadn't raised even the faintest of smiles. Keep your eye on Tan'elKoth, she'd
said. Don't ever let yourself forget who he is.
He'd
answered, He better not forget who I am.
It
had been a pretty good line, but it was only a line.
Her
coffin began to shimmer around the edges as it interposed with the nearly
identical one coming through from Overworld. It took on a faint translucency;
the other resolved into a more solid existence; within a second or so, Shanna's
coffin was only a ghost shape, and the new one—roughly half-full of
water—became solid, fully here. Shanna was gone.
Now,
somewhere in another universe, there appeared a goddess named Pallas Ril.
Hari
thanked the technician and walked out of the techdeck. Outside, near the
elevator that would return him to the public areas of the Studio, Rover waited
with electronic patience. Hari scowled at it—but after a moment he sighed,
shrugged, and sat down. As he rolled into the elevator, he dug out his palmpad
and keyed the code for the Abbey. When Bradlee answered, Hari asked him to put
Faith on.
Her
smile nearly filled the tiny screen. "Hi, Daddy. Mommy's with the river
now," she reported.
"Yeah,
I know, honey, " Hari told her. "I was just with her. Listen—"
"She's
pretty worried," she said, her
smile fading and her golden brows wrinkling. The familiar glazed, eldritch
dissociation gathered in her eyes. When Pallas Ril walked the lands of
Overworld, half of Faith walked with her.
Hari
nodded. "It's a pretty serious thing she's doing over there." Faith
said solemnly, "She's worried about you."
"Listen,"
he said, "since you're off school today anyway, I was thinking I
might take the rest of the day off and go down to Fancon. Maybe even a couple
of days off. You want to come along?"
"Really?
Really for real?"
"Sure,
really for real. How about it? Still in your con clothes?" "Sure.
Uh, Mommy's happy I get to go to the con."
"Yeah,
I'll bet. Me, too. One other thing, honey: before Mommy left, we were real busy
and in a big hurry, and I forgot something I need to tell her, okay?"
"Okay"
"Just
tell her I said I love her."
"Uh-huh.
She loves you, too," Faith
said with simple, serene matter-of-factness. "But I don't really tell
her things. It's not like that. She just knows."
"I
just wanted to make sure," Hari said. "I just wanted to make sure she
knows."
The crooked knight laid himself down to rest. There
was no battle left for him to fight. He had fulfilled his mission, succeeded in
his quest. His war was won.
But
he remained, nonetheless, the
crooked knight.
In
winning, he had lost.
SIX
"Changeling?" The high, thin voice sounded
like a breathy piccolo, and a hand like a coin-sized grapnel tugged at his ear.
"Changeling, wake up!"
Deliann rolled over. He didn't want to open his eyes;
he couldn't remember exactly, but he was moderately sure that waking up would
hurt, somehow—and he was so warm, so comfortable, and the bed was so soft...
"Changeling!" Something poked him hard in
the neck; he couldn't be sure, but it might have been a kick from a very small
bare foot. "Kier says she needs you."
Just as well,
he thought, rubbing at his gummy eyelids until he could part them. If I
sleep any longer, I'll probably start to dream.
The heavy brocade curtains drawn across the windows
in Kierendal's bedchamber were outlined by the yellow glare of the afternoon
outside. Standing on the mattress next to his shoulder was an extraordinarily
beautiful treetopper, her diaphanous wings a transparent shimmer in the gloom.
She looked like a twenty-inch human female of extravagantly sensual proportion:
long elegant legs, a tiny wasp waist, outrageously high firm breasts. She wore
a minuscule shift, belted at the waist, barely long enough to cover the swell
of her ass and revealing a dangerous amount of cleavage.
"Tup ..." he said thickly. "H'long .
. . Timezit?"
"It's about four," Tup said. "You've
been asleep for five hours or so. You have to get up, now—Kier sent me to get
you."
"Yes, all right," he made himself say, and
sat up.
He
had only a fuzzy recollection of coming into this room; Kierendal had led him
here after they'd let the Aktir go; at the end of his performance for
the people who were watching through that man's eyes, Deliann had nearly
collapsed. He had barely kept his head up long enough to eat some of the soup
that Kierendal fed him. He remembered being led in here ... he remembered
Kierendal's lips, soft against his ear: "Do you know, you are the only
human who's ever had me for free?"
He
remembered her mouth against his, and that's when he realized he was naked.
He
pulled the sheet around his hips. "Urh, Tup? You wouldn't happen to know
where my pants are?"
"On
the chair. Come on, hurry up."
He felt as if his whole body were turning red. He
had some hazy impression that Tup was—or used to be—Kierendal's lover. Had he
done something with Kierendal? What had happened between them? He would
remember if he'd had sex
Wouldn't
he?
He
gathered the sheet higher around his waist. "Tup, please. If you wouldn't
mind—?"
Tup put her hands on her hips. "Changeling, I live
in a whorehouse. You think I've never seen a dick before? Please. I've seen yours;
I was here when Kier undressed you."
He
closed his eyes, sighed, and opened them again. Well, at least that means I
didn't have sex. He glanced at Tup, who glared at him impatiently. Probably.
"All
right," he said. "All right, I'm coming--I mean, I'm getting
ready." He climbed out of bed and into the pants Kierendal had given him.
"Better hurry," Tup said. "She's pretty upset."
"About
what?" Deliann asked dully, pulling the shirt on over his head. "And
what does she need me for? She has plenty of security."
"She didn't say, exactly. Some snarl with a
roger, up in the suites. He's got a hostage. She said to tell you this roger's
sweaty and feverish—he's claiming his dolly was trying to poison him."
Deliann went still, half into the shirt, while a
jagged ball of ice congealed in his stomach. That's it, he thought. That's
why I didn't want to wake up. That's exactly it.
A slow weight gathered on his shoulders, crushing
him toward the floor, but he just shook his head and slipped on the pair of
sandals beside the chair.
"Show
me the way," he said.
2
Tup
looped through the stairwell above him, circling and doubling back to maintain
airspeed while she led him up toward the Yellow Suites, in the east wing
of the fifth floor. Deliann struggled to keep pace, gasping with the pain each
step brought his maimed legs.
Kierendal paced back and forth in the corridor,
waiting for them. She wore her afternoon business attire—loose pants and shirt
of shimmering black silk set off with a single string of gleaming pearls—and
her silver hair was drawn back in a bun so tight it brought an extra slant to
her eyes. A spot of blood showed at the corner of her mouth, where she'd been
chewing her lower lip with her needle-sharp canines. She had a pair of her
overt guards with her, ogres each nearly nine feet tall and five feet wide,
dressed in heavy calf-length hauberks and carrying morningstars the size of
Deliann's head. "Deliann," she said shortly, nodding him toward an
open door beside her. "In here."
When
Tup started to flutter in with them, Kierendal shook her head. "You stay
out of here. Go back down to my chambers, wait for me there." "Aww,
Kier—"
Kierendal
bared her sharp and bloody teeth. "Go. Now."
Tup
went.
Within the room, a tearstained human girl of about
twenty sat on the edge of the bed. A stonebender knelt on the bed beside her,
holding a bloody towel against the girl's cheek. As Deliann entered, the
stonebender drew back the towel, revealing an ugly gaping wound on the girl's
face. Instead of a cheek, the side of her face was a pair of raw-meat flaps
that didn't quite join up; she looked like somebody had stuck a knife in her
mouth and sliced through her cheek all the way back to the hinge of her jaw.
Deliann
winced; his stomach wasn't steady enough for this.
"Bleed's
almost stop," the stonebender said kindly. "Good girl, brave girl.
Fix you good, no worry."
Deliann
could see that she used to be beautiful.
Dully, through the wall, he could hear the sound of
someone pacing back and forth, heavily, like he was stomping cockroaches with
big boots. "Whaddaya fuckin' think?" someone was saying in the
adjoining room. "Whaddaya fuckin' think? What was I s'poza do?"
The stonebender began to stitch the girl up with his
blunt, nimble fingers, using a long curved leather-working needle; the stitches
would hold the skin and muscle in place while his magick accelerated the
natural healing process. Probably wouldn't scar—not much, anyway—but it had to
hurt. She whimpered, and tears leaked from her eyes, and Deliann had to look
away.
"Her
roger's still next door," Kierendal said. "Near as I can tell, he
started acting up out of nowhere, and Tessa cried the carp. He only
had time to cut her once; she made the door in a scramble when the guards
broke in."
"Tup said something about a hostage?"
She shook her head grimly and nodded at a small spy
gate set into the adjoining wall. "Have a look, if you want. The bastard
knifed one of my boys and coldcocked the other. I don't want to send in
anyone else. It's not just that he might kill Endy; I'm a little worried about
letting any more of my people get close to him."
Deliann nodded. "Not just him—if he's sick, she
has it, too. We shouldn't be in here. Let the healer stay with her."
Might as well; if the whore was infected, the healer
was already dead.
He took Kierendal's arm and drew her back out into
the corridor. He lowered his voice, leaning dose to her to keep his words
private. "Did you touch the girl? Has anyone else touched her, or
been close to her or the, er, the roger?"
"I don't think so."
"All right. Tup said something about
poison?"
"Yes. I can't be sure-you can guess that she's
not talking too well," Kierendal said with a nod toward the wounded
girl. "I'm only going on what I've overheard from next door. He's been
saying something about poison in her mouth—crazy talking, like her kiss would
kill him and he had to cut off her lips to save his life, like that. That's why
I thought you should have a look at him. You ... showed me ... more than I want
to know about this disease of yours, but you're the expert."
"I'm no expert," Deliann told her
gloomily.
"You're the closest I have."
"All right. First, it's pretty unlikely that
anyone in Ankhana could be infected—this is probably some kind of drug
reaction. The disease broke out all the way up beyond Khryl's Saddle—"
"It's not worth taking a chance,"
Kierendal said grimly. "You give me a yes, I'll burn down this whole
fucking wing. You put me through that fey's death. You made me know what it feels
like. I won't watch my people die like that. I'll kill her myself."
Deliann's golden gaze met Kierendal's silver for a
long moment; he saw how much it hurt her even to say such a thing. He also saw
that she'd do it, no matter how much it hurt.
But it's not HRVP, he told himself. It can't be. It's some kind of
drug reaction, that's all. Like I said.
The hall door also had a spy gate in it. Deliann
stepped over and slid it open; he'd take a quick look, glance at the guy to set
Kierendal's mind at ease, then tell her everything was all right. Simple. Easy.
Through the gate he could see a fey on the floor in
an enormous pool of blood, his head twisted awkwardly, one side of his neck
slashed into a ragged mockery of lips. A fly settled onto his face and walked
across his open eye.
Scarlet bootprints stained the floor, where someone
had tracked through the blood and walked off out of sight.
On the bed was a thick-muscled stonebender, wrists
and ankles tied together with a twisted bedsheet, a wadded pillowcase stuffed
in his mouth. With small, slow movements, the stonebender rotated his wrists
and worked his ankles against each other, surreptitiously loosening the knots
that held him.
"Whaddameye s'poza do? Huh? She'da kilt me.
Whaddaya fuckin' think I'm gonna do?" The voice came more clearly
through the spy gate; no longer muffled by the intervening wall, it sounded
sickeningly familiar.
Then the speaker stomped into view: a huge,
broad-shouldered ogrillo, his grey-leather face dripping sweat and one eye
glaring feverishly. He wore gaudy, new-looking clothes of garishly dyed linen;
now drenched with blood down his right side. He carried no weapon, but the
razor-sharp fighting claw on his right wrist was fully extended and bright with
blood.
One of his undershot tusks was a broken stump; the
ivory of the other was blackened and scorched.
Deliann sagged against the wall.
Better I had died in the mountains, he thought. The pain in his chest wouldn't let him
speak, wouldn't let him even breathe. Oh, Rroni, why couldn't you have been
a better swordsman? Why couldn't you have opened my skull right then?
Oh, god, god, I would give anything if only I had
died .. .
The murderous ogrillo in the suite was the foredeck
second.
"What
is it?" Kierendal said. "It's bad, isn't it? I can see it on your
face." "It's bad," Deliann echoed.
Kierendal turned to her ogre guards, her face bleak
with harsh necessity. "Evacuate this wing. I want everybody out of here within
five minutes. Get all the available security and sweep every room. Anybody
still in here, five minutes from now? They'll die in the fire."
One of the ogres twitched his enormous morningstar
at the door where Deliann stood. "Whad aboud thhem? Whad aboud Endy? How
you gonna ged him oud?"
"We're
not," Kier said. "Endy, Tessa, Parkk—they're all staying." The
ogres exchanged dimly dismayed glances. "Bud you said—"
"You
don't have to understand," Kierendal said. "Just do what I tell
you."
"You're the one who doesn't understand,"
Deliann said.
He pushed himself away from the wall, wondering
numbly that he still moved. How could he stand, under this weight? How could he
speak? How could he still live, with his heart rotting inside him? "You
don't understand," he repeated slowly, painfully. "I know that
'rillo.'"You do?" Kierendal blinked. "Small world. But that
doesn't change anything"
"Yes, it does. It changes everything. He's
infected. There's only one way he could have been infected, to be showing
symptoms right now."
Deliann spread his hands in absolute surrender;
agony like this could not be fought, and could not possibly be endured.
"I'm immune. I don't get sick. But he must have somehow caught it from
me."
Kierendal's eyes went wide and blank.
Slowly, numbly, she lifted a nerveless hand to her
face, staring sightlessly past him. She pressed her lips with her fingers, as
though remembering her mouth against his—as though trying to calculate the
infinite cost of that one kiss.
3
Deliann lay in the darkness, twisted into a fetal
knot of pain. Pain paralyzed him, left him helpless, shuddering on the cold,
hard floor. He was only one stride from a couch, half a room away from a bed
where he could lie, but the only motion his limbs would make was an intermittent
nerveless twitch, a racking convulsion halfway between a lung-rotted cough and
a dry sob.
He had never imagined there was this much pain in
the world.
Lying at the bottom of the cliff in the God's Teeth
with both legs broken had been nothing; it was as though his legs had some kind
of a circuit breaker, a transformer that stepped down the pain. His heart,
though
Eaten by acid, it left a smoking hole in his chest,
a sucking emptiness that screamed regret. This pain only grew. Long ago it had
passed unendurable; he would howl, but the hole in his chest had eaten too much
of his strength. He could not even whimper. He could only lie on the cold
floor, and suffer.
He had brought madness and death to this whole city.
His stupidity—his simple thoughtless foolishness—had
murdered Kierendal, and Tup, and her houseboy Zakke, and the pretty human whore
with the slashed face, and the stonebender healer Parkk, and the ogre guards-‑
and—
and
and .. .
Kierendal's first thought had been to seal the
building—to save the city by burning down Alien Games with herself and everyone
else inside it. She knew what she was in for; he'd made her feel every inch of
the death of the young fey at the village outside Diamondwell. A shrieking
death in fire, going down to darkness with the smell of your own roasting flesh
in your nostrils, was far kinder than what that young fey had endured.
But even that would be useless; she'd given up any
hope of slowing the infection. She could save nothing.
Alien Games was a brothel, a casino, an attraction
for tourists from all corners of the Empire. The infection that he had carried
here would have spread already into the city, and would be creeping outward
into the Empire along the arteries of the Great Chambaygen like blood poisoning
up a wounded leg.
How could he have been so blind?
In a minute or two, he'd get up. He'd go into the
bedchamber next door, where Kierendal sat in darkness with Tup and Zakke and
Pischu, her floor boss. He'd take a cup, and fill it with the wine that they
were drinking even now.
He thought of Socrates, taking the hemlock and
pacing his prison, walking back and forth to bring it on the quicker; he
doubted he could do that. He wasn't entirely sure he could stand at all.
Kierendal, she was stronger: she had marched into the bedchamber as though
she'd left doubt and fear behind on another world.
On the other hand, only her brief future weighed
down on her. Deliann had been crushed by the past.
He hoped that all he would find, on the far side of
the cup of wine that waited for him next door, was darkness and an end to
pain—but if not, if he was to face some judgment for his crimes, he did not
fear it. Even the most brutal hell could not hurt him worse than this.
A small cool hand laid itself along his cheek,
fingertips brushing his neck as though feeling for his pulse. Just that simple
touch was so comforting, so calming, that he could not pull away from it. That
cool touch seemed to draw some of his hurt as a moist towel draws fever. He
shuddered as it went out from him, as though something inside him clung
involuntarily to the pain, the way muscle clamps tight around a wounding arrow
shaft if it's pulled too slowly.
"Shh, it's all right" a woman's voice told
him softly. "It's all right, I'm here." Her breath smelled of green
leaves turning toward the sun, of grain ripening in fields freshly swept by
rain.
"No," Deliann said. She had taken enough
of his pain that he now found he could move, could speak. He pulled away from
her hand. "No, it's not all right. You've touched me. Now you're going to
die."
"I
am not so easily slain," the woman's voice told him gently. "Open
your eyes, Kris Hansen. I bring glad tidings."
"What?"
Deliann said. "What did you call me?"
When
he did open his eyes, her face stole his voice.
She glowed in the darkened room with a light of her
own, as though a single sunbeam framed itself precisely to her form: a small,
slight human woman in ordinary clothing, a spray of dark hair framing an oval
face rather ordinarily pretty, features unremarkable save for the serene power
that shone forth from them: a shimmering halo of life so refined and
concentrated that the sight of her burned away Deliann's previous experience of
beauty like ice in a furnace. Looking on her, he could not even imagine another
woman's face.
Awe
compressed his chest. "Who ..." he gasped breathlessly. "Who are
you?"
"I
am called Pallas Ril."
"The Aktir Queen?" he said
involuntarily; Pallas Ril was the name of the ruler of demons in the elKothan
pantheon, the bride of the evil Prince of Chaos—but none of the elKothan
woodcuts or story windows had shown a woman such as this.
"If
you wish," she said.
Electrified, Deliann scrambled to his feet; he made
a warding gesture and breathed himself into mindview. "I want nothing to
do with the human gods," he said warily.
Slowly, sadly, she straightened, and on her face was
a small quiet smile. Her Shell filled the room, and more; he could not see its
limit, and it blazed like the midsummer sun. "I am human, and a god but I
am not a human god. Know this: I am your friend, Kris Hansen—"
"Why
do you keep calling me that?"
"—and
I am the answer to your cry for help."
Deliann stopped, stunned, swaying in place, helpless
against the flood of pain and need that thundered back into his chest—forgotten
for one moment, it returned with overpowering force.
"How—?
Who—?"
"I
am called by many names. The First Folk call Me Eyyallarann."
Her
Shell surrounded him, enveloped him, enwrapped him in effortless comfort; for half
a single second, he relaxed
And
flashed on her.
She roared into him; in an instant he was filled to
bursting, filled beyond pain, but there was more, infinitely more, as
though some cruel giant poured the ocean down his throat. From the scream of an
eagle wheeling above Khryl's Saddle to the slow squirm of a newt spawning in
the mud of the Teranese Delta, from the creak of ancient branches in the wind
of the Larrikaal Deepwood to the hush of a rivulet washing a mossy stone below
Ankhana's Commons' Beach, she entered him with power that would burst his skull
and scatter smoking gobbets of brain throughout the room
"That's enough," she said, and the flood
cut off as though a door had been slammed within his brain. "Be careful
what you touch, Kris; there are dangers here for such as you."
Deliann stepped back from her, gasping, his hands
pressing against his face until the room halted its dizzy whirl; then he
lowered himself slowly and reverently to his knees.
"Your pardon, My Lady," he said formally
in Primal, his head bent before her. "I did not know Thee."
"Your reverence betrays your human birth,"
she replied gravely in the same tongue. "The First Folk do not kneel to
Me; I am properly greeted with a kiss, for I am your mother, and your sister,
and your child."
Deliann rose and embraced her; he was,
astonishingly, taller than she, and she felt frail in his arms. "What
would you have me do?" he asked.
"Hold on to hope," she said. "Within
days, a new disease will strike this city, and the entire land. Whoever it
touches need never fear HRVP."
"I don't understand."
"It is how I will defeat this plague. A new
plague, that confers immunity to the other."
"You can do this?"
"I can. That is why you must hold on to
hope."
"Hope?" he repeated. "Immunity—oh, my
heart! Kierendal! Kierendal, stop!”
He dashed from the room into the bedchamber next
door.
What he found there might have been the aftermath of
a cheerful party: bodies sprawled across a wide bed and settled at seeming ease
into comfortable chairs, all in the boneless relaxation that might have been
sleep
Zakke reclined in a broad sitting chair, his beard
spilling down his chest. Pischu lay on the bed, his hands folded peacefully
across his chest. Tup was curled up on a pillow on the vanity table.
Kierendal
had crumpled to the floor like a broken doll. She lay on the rug at the foot of
the bed, and Deliann dropped to his knees beside her. Her long, almost
fleshless legs were twisted beneath her; they looked like they would
hurt, if she woke up.
He
touched her splash of silver hair. "If only you could have waited,"
he whispered.
The
room brightened to the gentle glow of a forest moonset. The goddess stood at
his back.
"She was afraid," Deliann said, absently
stroking Kierendal's hair. His voice was empty as a raided tomb. "They all
were. She knew what it was going to be like. She couldn't face that kind of
death—she couldn't watch them face it ..."
"Do
you think she would want to live, if she could?"
"Do
I—? Would—?" Deliann turned, wide-eyed, gasping with sudden hope.
"Are you asking me?"
"Those
who still live need not die of this poison," the goddess said. "Can
you bear the burden of having called them back?"
"I—yes!
Yes, anything—anything--"
"This is not a fairy tale, Kris," the
goddess said severely. "I do not take you at your word, when you do not
know what you are saying. Any who survive this poison will be infected still. I
cannot cure them directly."
"You—you
can't? Why not?"
"HRVP is not, exactly, alive. My powers of
healing are great, but they are no different in kind than any other: I can only
spur the body's natural processes. HRVP is not a natural disease; it is a
genengineered bioweapon—" She used, astonishingly, the English words.
"—and the body's natural resistance system is no defense. To spur the
body's processes would bring only a swifter death."
"But
I
The goddess lifted a restraining hand. "The vaccine
you received as a child is another genengineered virus." She
continued to sprinkle English into her Westerling. "This is how I will
stop the infection, in the end: I will create a countervirus that will
block the receptor sites to which HRVP binds. If your friends are
exposed to it soon enough, it may save their sanity and their lives."
"May?"
The
goddess nodded. "They will have a chance, but only that. You might call
them back from this gentle death to an unbearable one." "How ... how
long? How long before—"
"I
believe I will have the countervirus prepared within four days."
"So
they would have a chance. That's a chance I can take," Deliann said,
rising. "So? What's the catch?"
The goddess shook her head sadly. "This is the
catch, Kris." She gestured toward the bodies. "Two of these four have
yet enough strength to be saved; if I strengthen their hearts, and speed the
work of their livers to break down the poison, it will wash from them before it
can kill them."
"Two?" Deliann said. "Only two?"
She nodded. "That man—" Pischu, on the
bed. "—had a weak heart. He is already dead. And this treetopper—"
Tup ... Oh, Kierendal, how will you stand it?
"—her metabolism was too fast; she died only a
moment after she drank. So, Kris Hansen: your friend may not thank you for
calling her back from death. Can you help her live with what she has done?"
Deliann looked down at Kierendal.
If I'm wrong there's plenty of poison left. Once she
understands what's going on, she can make her own choice.
He nodded: to the goddess, and to himself.
"Yes," he said. "Yes, I can.
"Then it is done," the goddess said.
That simply: without a gesture, without even the
faintest flicker of the light around them. Kierendal's shallow hitching breath
deepened toward the slow rhythm of sleep.
Now he found that he had recovered the strength to
cry.
"My father ..." he murmured painfully.
"My family—Mithondion .. . When you have the countervirus—all of
Mithondion will be infected by now ..
"Mithondion is beyond my reach," the
goddess said. "My power is that of the river—beyond the bound of my
watershed, I am blind and deaf, and largely powerless. If they are to be saved,
the cure must be carried to them, even as was the disease."
"How did you—I mean, when did—" Torronell,
his heart whispered, breaking. If she had come two weeks ago, even a
week ... "I mean, where have you been?" His heart cried his real
question: Why did you wait so long?
"I was on Earth," she said simply.
"As you named me, I am also the Aktir Queen. You called, and I
came."
"I . . . called? You mean, with J'Than?
The Aktir?"
Her luminous, liquid eyes gazed deeply into his.
"Hari Michaelson asked to be remembered to you," she said.
She stepped sideways, and reality warped around her:
in the barest blink of an eye, perspective distorted so that it seemed she had
moved half a mile away while still remaining within the room; with another
step, she was gone.
Deliann
stood rooted to the carpet, shaken, gasping.
Hari...
Michaelson?
At his feet Kierendal stirred, whimpering; Deliann
instantly knelt beside her and cradled her head on his knees. "Shh,"
he whispered. "Shh. It's all right. I'm here. It's all right."
And
for a time, he believed he might be telling the truth.
There was, in those days, a man who had been a god.
Though a god no longer, he still saw with a more than mortal eye, shaped with a
more than mortal hand, and thought with a more than mortal mind. He saw the war
made by the dark angel, and he saw the acolytes of dust and ashes, but he did
not see the god who lay behind them both. To save his onetime children from
this war, he shaped himself a new destiny.
But he was a god no longer; even' his more than
mortal mind could not guess the limits of his vision, his strength, and his
wisdom. Thus did he open the tale of his own destruction.
Others had brought war against the god of dust and
ashes, many others, more than can be counted on worlds beyond number. Among its
enemies on this world had been Jereth Godslaughterer, Panchasell the Luckless,
and Kiel Burchardt. Among its enemies on the other had been Friedrich
Nietzsche, John Brown, and Crazy Horse.
Each
had fallen to its patient, infinite hunger. It had killed them in its sleep.
On
the day the dark angel went forth to war, the man who had been a god took
counsel with the acolytes of dust and ashes
And
persuaded them to wake it up.
SEVEN
Tan'elKoth sat alone in the stony gloom of the
Curioseum. Motionless, his eyes glittered in the flickering glow from the
mirror that served him as a deskscreen. His fingers were steepled before his
impassive face. The ground floor of his apartment had no windows; though it was
late afternoon outside the Curioseum, black shadows crowded dose around him. He
was consumed with the task of waiting.
He
had been waiting for this moment for nearly seven years.
The mirror on his desk glowed with a special edition
of Adventure Update. Tan'elKoth had watched the recording that Clearlake
played for a worldwide audience. With his usual canny political touch for
self-preservation, Clearlake had seamlessly edited the recording to eliminate
every suggestion that the Studio itself might be somehow responsible for the
outbreak, thus protecting himself from any charge of corporate slander; other
than that, the recording ran uncensored, and unrelievedly gruesome. Tan'elKoth
stabbed the cutoff. He'd seen enough.
"One
supposes the Bog has, as well," he murmured.
He
composed himself to wait.
Seconds
ticked by more swiftly than the beating of his heart. He waited.
Then
he waited longer.
And
longer.
Still
no chime from his annunciator.
Those fractal tree branch world-paths replayed
within his mind. No new flowering, no unexpected crook or twist presented
itself: this sprouting future was precisely as it had been, in the moment he
laid his will upon it.
But
still they did not call.
That
he had miscalculated was impossible. Even an idiot could now see how easily
they had been outmaneuvered; even an idiot could now see that they had
only one choice. Even the stupidest fish can feel the hook when it's lodged in
its throat.
He thrust himself to his feet and prowled the limits
of his cage. He paced up the broad curve of stairs that led through the light
trap to his personal quarters, humming distractedly to himself. The voices of
the men within him murmured that there was something he'd overlooked.
He climbed the final flight, up to his studio. The
skylight showed only the low bloodlit gloom of night clouds over the city. This
was where he'd spent most of the past six years—now nearly seven—molding in
clay and casting in bronze the interior shapes of his private reality.
It had been a brutal, bitter, soul-searing struggle,
teaching his hands to bring forth the shapes within his heart; every time a
casting cooled unevenly and cracked, every time he scraped thin grey curls of
clay from beneath his fingernails, every time he so much as touched a-knife or
a trowel, he was forced to confront memories of being Ma'elKoth, of
constructing His Great Work: memories of ordering reality with nothing more
than the power of his mind. Memories of how far he had fallen
And yet, working with his hands had taught him
things that working only with his mind could never have: had taught him that
materials are not infinitely malleable, nor should they be—that to overwork a
piece is to destroy it. Materials have shapes of their own. True art is a
negotiation, a struggle, even a dance, between the will of the artist and the
intrinsic form—the physical properties of strength and balance, the fundamental
possibility-that defines his chosen medium.
He passed a study for his most famous sculpture, The
Passion of Lovers. Passion was not his best work; it was merely the most
accessible to the limited tastes of his audience. Cast in monumental bronze,
two men stand tangled in an intimate embrace, their forms stylized, abstracted
into the essence of their desire for each other until they flow together and
join as one. One holds a sword that pierces the other through the groin, its
blade emerging from that one's back; the sword-pierced figure holds smaller
blades in each hand, one seeking his lover's heart, the other buried in the top
of his lover's skull.
Obvious. Even trite.
He turned aside from Passion and pulled the
shroud from his current work, his David. He had finally allowed himself
to attempt a full figure in marble, a material far more exacting than bronze.
Larger than life-size, to the same scale as Michelangelo's, the half-completed
sculpture rested on a large reinforced dolly with swivel-mounted wheels—locked
now—so that he could at need shift the tons of stone to examine it in differing
angles of sunlight.
The figure had begun to emerge from its prison of
creamy stone. Tan'elKoth surveyed it critically, walking around it, sighing; he
struggled to live through his eyes, to forget his tension, his frustration.
Even to pick up a chisel in his current emotional turmoil would be an
invitation to disaster. He was not unmindful of what historians termed
Michelangelo's Struggle series—each tortured and twisted figure
abandoned after a single flawed stroke.
Tan'elKoth's David would be greater than
Buonarroti's; instead of the perfection of masculine beauty sought by the Earth
artist, Tan'elKoth had taken for his model an older, more seasoned man, a man
on the descending curve of his life—a man whose face and form would show in
every line the soul-crushing burden of being the Beloved of God, and yet would
also show pride, tempered strength, unbendable will. One would seethe beauty of
the youth he had been, and see that the scars etched by time's acid had made
him more beautiful still.
But now, as he examined the emerging figure, he
could see that it would develop not precisely as he had envisioned it. Already
the gestural line of its stance had diverged from his intention, as though its
form was becoming a vector of two convergent images. As though there is
already at work here a will that is not my own.
Tan'elKoth's eyes went wide and round, and he lost a
moment in sheer marvel. Somewhere, somewhere within this revelation was the
fault line that had shifted beneath his certainty
He had always been a composite entity. Any memories
of having but a single mind had been relegated to the ghost-forms that peopled
his inner world. From the moment of Ma'elKoth's self-creation in a flare of
power from the crown of Dal'kannith, he had been the master of a choir of
interior voices. Through the years that choir had swelled to a symphony, of
which he was the conductor: many voices, many minds, many lives, but a single
organizing will.
He was Ma'elKoth no longer; his latest act of
self-creation had reduced the god he had once been to merely the greatest of
the shades in his internal Tartarus. Despite the self-deprecation of his new
name, Tan'elKoth knew that he was more than even Ma'elKoth had been: more
human, more connected to the currents of time and flesh that rule the lives of
mortals. And a better artist--which may, in the end, have been the most
important difference.
Art had always been his ruling passion.
Hannto the Scythe had been an obsessive collector
from his earliest years; he had in truth become a necromancer in service to
this obsession. The skill of necromancy consists primarily in coaxing forth the
remnants of the patterns that consciousness imprints upon the Shells of
corpses—capturing the fading echoes of the mind that had once been expressed by
the meat. A skilled necromancer can temporarily tune his own mind, his own
Shell, closely enough to these residual vibrations that he can access the
occasional tatter of the memories they represent.
Many artists conceal works that they do not feel are
up to their personal standards; many of these works may be lost forever if the
artist leaves behind no record. Hannto had used his power to summon forth
memories from the very bones of the great, and eventually his personal
collection had swelled with uncataloged works by major artists. He could provide
no provenance for any of them, and thus could never receive the full value of a
painting or sculpture in a sale, but what mattered that?
He had never intended to sell them.
Hannto had his own feelings about art. Art was not
merely the creation of beauty, for him; neither was it merely a reflection of
reality. It was not even the depiction of truth.
Art was the creation of truth.
It is a truism that when one is a hammer, everything
looks like a nail. The glory of art is that it can show this proverbial hammer
how everything looks to a screwdriver—and to a plowshare, and to an earthenware
pot. If reality is the sum of our perceptions, to acquire more varying points
of view is to acquire, literally, more reality.
Hannto had wanted to own the universe.
The precise point where he had passed from collector
to creator was a mystery. Perhaps truly passionate collectors are always artistes
manqués: perhaps they choose to buy what they have not the gifts to create.
Perhaps touching the minds of all those countless artists had molded him in
some way; perhaps seeing the world through the dream-eyes of artists had given
him, over time, some vision of his own.
Tan'elKoth was more than the sum of his experiences;
he was the grand total of the sums that were the men who lived within his mind.
For fifteen years and more he had lived by his absolute control of these
self-created shades. What will could possibly have touched this sculpture,
other than his own? What will could have altered the curve of his David's stance,
could have angled the line of his David's jaw down toward resignation
and defeat? What will could possibly drive his mallet to his chisel without his
consent—without even his awareness?
Faintly,
distantly, muffled in the depths of his apartment below, the annunciator on his
deskscreen chimed.
2
Tan'elKoth fairly flew down both flights of stairs
into the darkness of the ground floor; he skidded to a halt. in front of the
desk, then spent a bare moment to order the lights on and straighten his
clothing.
The
Adventures Unlimited logo flashed in the message box of his screen.
With
ponderous dignity, he lowered himself into his chair. "Iris:
Acknowledge," he murmured. "Audiovisual."
"Professional
Tan'elKoth. You are instructed to remain at your current screen. Hold for voice
communication from the Adventures Unlimited Board ° of Governors."
The
screen wiped to the Adventures Unlimited logo: the armored knight upon the
winged horse, rampant.
"Professional Tan'elKoth." A subtle change in the voice: where before it had been
purely mechanical, now it had the faintest hint of self-awareness, the
consciousness of power.
There came next from the speakers deep in the floor
beneath his desk a recording of Tan'elKoth's own voice. "Tell your
Board of Governors this: in exchange for certain considerations, I shall
undertake to solve their Michaelson problem."
Tan'elKoth
smiled.
The
voice of the Board of Governors said, "What considerations?"
So: no preamble, no throat-clearing. Clean and
direct without a wasted word. Tan'elKoth nodded to himself. He could do
business with men such as these. "An alliance, gentlefolk. Return me to my
land. Leave the Empire and my people to me; you may use the rest of my world as
you desire. Within the Imperial bound, your interests will be better served by
the power of Ma'elKoth than by the weak minds and wills of your Earth-bred
satraps. We have a common goal, do we not? To ensure the future of humanity,
both here and on my world."
"And
in exchange?"
Tan'elKoth
shrugged. "As I said: I shall undertake to solve your Michaelson
problem."
"Our
Michaelson problem is hardly worth such a price."
He
snorted. "Come, gentlefolk. This protest is fatuous; were the problem in
question so insignificant, we would not behaving this conversation."
"Michaelson
is no one. We created him. He is exactly what we made him: nothing. A cripple,
wholly owned by the Studio."
Tan'elKoth
let a smile creep into his voice. "And yet, within a
handful of hours, this wholly owned cripple has ripped your plans asunder
and cast their shreds to the winds of the Abyss."
"You
are overdramatizing. This is no more than a public-relations gaffe,"
"You," Tan'elKoth replied with clinical
exactitude, "are fools."
Only silence greeted this pronouncement; apparently,
the Board of Governors was unused to hearing the truth. "Caine is against
you, now," Tan'elKoth said. "Without my help, you are lost."
"You fear Michaelson so much?"
"Bah." How do men of vision so limited
come to wield power so vast? "I fear Michaelson not at all. Michaelson is a
fiction, you fools. The truth of him is Caine. You do not comprehend the
distinction; and so he will destroy you."
"We are gratified by your concern for our
welfare,"
"I
care nothing for your welfare," he said through his teeth. "I want my
Empire back."
"This
seems a steep price for so small a service: to crush a powerless cripple."
"Doubly fools," Tan'elKoth said. They were
repeating themselves; redundancy is the hallmark of muddy thinking. "He
does have power. One power: the power to devote himself absolutely to a
single goal, to be ruthless with himself and all else in its pursuit. It is the
only power he needs—because, unlike the great mass of men, he is aware of this
power, and he is willing, even happy, to use it."
Tan'elKoth leaned back in his chair and steepled his
fingers before his face; he had been a professor for enough years that he fell
into his lecture mode without thinking. "Men like Caine—and, if I may say
so, myself—exert a certain pressure upon history; when we set ourselves a goal
and ex-tend our energies to achieve it, the force of history itself organizes
into a current at our backs. You might call it destiny, though that is an
inadequate word for a power of this magnitude. On Overworld, one can even see
it: a dark stream in the Flow that organizes the interplay of historical
necessities—the interplay which the ignorant call chance."
"Then
we need do nothing at all; he is one, we are ... several; if what you say is
true, we can think him to death."
Tan'elKoth clenched his jaw. Could they possibly
guess how this sophistic jabber wore on his nerves? "Will without action
is mere daydreaming; it is as useless as the blind spastic twitching that is
action without will—which, I might add, accurately sums your efforts so
far."
He leaned toward the screen and lowered his voice as
though sharing a friendly confidence. "You are helpless before him. He
demonstrates this even as we speak. You would have stopped that broadcast if
you could; I know that your machines monitor the net, and intercept even
private messages that might so much as hint at what that recording explicitly
spells out. How, then, did you come to fail? Do you think that recording
reached a worldwide audience by chance?"
"Coincidence. A meaningless blip of
probability"
Tan'elKoth forebore to point out that coincidence
is only another name for bad luck the eternal excuse of the loser.
"You may scoff at the power of Caine," he said, "but there is
one whose power demands your respect: one who can stop you with a mere gesture.
I speak, of course, of Pallas Ril."
"Pallas
Ril—Shanna Michaelson—is merely a woman, while here on Earth. She can be easily
dealt with."
"Mmm, true," Tan'elKoth said slowly.
"And you could have done so, had you not awakened Caine. Pray, tell me
now: Where is this mere woman at this moment, as we speak?"
"She is appearing at a convention in Los
Angeles."
"Is she? Are you certain?"
"What are you saying?" For the first time, Tan'elKoth thought
he might even be able to detect a hint of expression in the digitized voice—and
the emotion thus expressed warmed him inside. "She is on Overworld?
Impossible. Her next shift isn't until September twenty-first."
In answer, Tan'elKoth gave them only a tiny smug
smile.
"She must be found. She must be stopped."
"And how, precisely, will you do this? She is
already beyond your reach; there, she is a goddess, and as near to omnipotent
as any living creature has ever been, including myself. You have been
completely out-fought," Tan'elKoth said. "Caine is too fast for you;
your corporate group-think is slow and innately predictable. But your
difficulty is by no means insoluble."
"What solution do you propose?",
He straightened again, and let a gleam of his
passion flash into his eye. "You must submit yourselves to a single
organizing will—give over the direction of your campaign to one lightning mind.
To put it bluntly: Your only hope is to call upon me."
"Why you?"
"I am, false modesty aside, Earth's leading
expert on Caine and Pallas Ril. I have in my library every cube either of them
has ever recorded; the primary use of my ammod harness is to allow me to leave
the Curioseum long enough to review their Adventures. I daresay I know more
about their abilities—and their psychologies—than they do themselves."
"Knowledge is meaningless without power."
Tan'elKoth
sat silently for a long moment, staring fixedly at the mirror as though
some message could be read between the reflected pixels. Finally he said,
"Indeed."
He shifted his weight and allowed some of the fire
in his heart to reach his eyes. "To amend my previous statement: Pallas
Ril is beyond your reach—but not yet beyond mine. I can stop her for you,
gentlefolk. Give me the opportunity, and I shall."
"At what price?"
"Her I would kill for free; I despise her.
Breaking Caine, however—that will be expensive. Caine's innate ruthlessness
makes him extremely dangerous. In his limited fashion, he is frighteningly
resourceful, and an exceptionally flexible thinker. In any situation that he
can frame in terms of combat, he will not lose."
"A substantial claim."
"Is it? Let me provide a salutory example: one
that is--I think pardonably—still fresh in my heart. Once, not so long ago, he
set his will upon the life of Pallas Ril. Though a living god stood against him
on one side—" He modestly placed his palm against his chest, then opened
it toward the screen. "—and the most powerful bureaucracy this world has
ever known stood against him on the other, he—one single, solitary man—overcame
us both."
"There were special circumstances—"
"Puffery. Mere details. When saving the life he
willed to save required that he defeat in single combat the greatest
warrior of his time, he did so. Forget that this man was Caine's master in
every form of battle; forget that Berne, even unarmed, could have killed him in
his sleep without breaking the rhythm of his snoring. Remember that Berne
wielded a weapon that was legendary: Kosall, the unstoppable blade.
Remember that Berne was Gifted with Strength far beyond human, and defenses
that could make his skin impervious as steel. Remember that when Caine faced
him he was bruised, and battered, half crippled---and poisoned—and still
..." Tan'elKoth let his voice trail away significantly.
"Luck"
"Luck" Tan'elKoth spat the word with vehemence surprising even to himself. "Luck
is a word the ignorant use to define their ignorance. They are blind to the
patterns of force that drive the universe, and they name their blindness
science, or clear-headedness, or pragmatism; when they
stumble into walls or fall off cliffs, they name their clumsiness luck"
"We
can settle for removing Pallas Ril, perhaps a median price can be negotiated."
Tan'elKoth
snorted. "Clearly, you surmise that killing her will save you and
your plans—but the truth is precisely opposite. I stand before you as a
testament to this. You wish to interfere with Pallas Ril? Destroy Caine first"
"And again, why do we need you for this?"
Surely even men-as dense as these should see a
simple truth, when it is painted before their eyes. "Because," he
said patiently, "there is no one else who truly understands what Caine
is. Without me, you will learn, but too late. He himself will teach you—but
it is knowledge you will carry to your graves. You will die cursing your own
foolishness, should you reject my offer. Hmp. You wish to understand the fate
of those who set themselves against Caine? Ask Arturo Kollberg."
"Arturo
Kollberg?" There came a long,
long considering pause—far too long in response to a rhetorical question.
"The
perfect choice," his
interlocutor said. "We will."
3
Arturo Kollberg clutched the melamine surface of his
work space, sweat trickling from the scars that pitted the remains of his
hairline. His skin had gone to paper, these past years: age-yellowed pulp, dry
and crumpled over the bones of his face. Only his spoiled-liver lips retained
their rubbery thickness, and the teeth around which they tightened were traced
with carious brown.
I am dreaming, he thought. This can only be a dream.
A shining disk blinked in the mailbox corner of his
screen. Within the disk, an armored knight rode a winged horse, rampant. A
message from the Studio.
This must be a dream.
But it didn't seem like a dream. The cubicles
here—in Patient Processing—were crystal clear, and bitterly familiar. The
moaning of patients in the examining rooms came thinly through the walls, and
some-one sobbed with endless psychotic monotony in the lobby. A pair of
enormous houseflies, grown fat and clumsy on a diet of blood, buzzed lazily
across the fluorescent bands of ceiling lights.
He risked a glance to either side, after first
checking that his supervisor wouldn't catch him looking away from his work. At
their adjoining cubicles, the clerks beside him hunched over their keyboards,
ticking frantically away. Here in the Mission District Labor Clinic, the data
entrars were paid by piecework: one-tenth of a mark for each completed form.
They stared with manic fixity at their screens, and the room reeked with their
acid, frightened sweat.
His years in the Temp ghetto had sucked the meat
from his dead-stick arms and twisted his once-nimble fingers into arthritic
claws; he barely recognized the hand that he moved to shift the cursor
into his mailbox, because for this single, long, achingly sweet moment, he remembered
what he had once been.
What he had once been
He remembered sitting in Corporate Court, watching
the evidence mount against him, watching the parade of Actors and technicians,
Social Police and rival Administrators as they each came to throw their handful
of earth into his living grave. He remembered watching Ma'elKoth testify
against him; he remembered the imperious disdain, the impenetrable dignity, the
thundering moral righteousness of the ex-Emperor's denunciation.
During those endless hours of humiliation, Kollberg
had been able to do nothing save sit at the defense table, numb and hopeless.
He'd known full well he would be destroyed: the Studio—the power that could
have saved him, that could have stood by his side, could have rewarded his
devotion and selfless service—had turned against him. To save itself, it had
savaged him. Raped him. Gutted his life. It had stripped away everything
that gave his existence meaning, and had cast him into the gutters of a Temp
slum.
He keyed the icon, and a dialog box unfolded in the
center of his screen.
LABORER ARTURO KOLLBERG:
YOU ARE INSTRUCTED TO REMAIN AT YOUR CURRENT SCREEN.
HOLD FOR COMMUNICATION FROM THE
ADVENTURES UNLIMITED BOARD OF GOVERNORS.
Kollberg could no longer breathe.
They remember. They've come for me, after all these
years. A progress bar flicked into
existence in the center of his deskscreen, filling slowly from left to right as
something large downloaded from the net They've come for me at last.
Six years—nearly seven—on the Temp boards. Six years.
Six years of standing in line at a public access
terminal, begging for work, lucky to get four or five days a month; six years
of standing in line at slop kitchens, to act grateful as his bowl was filled
with his daily share of the befouled swill that he must choke down quickly or
gag on the taste of rot; six years of being shoved and jostled and pawed by
people who stank, whose breaths reeked of cheap liquor and tooth decay,
whose clothes had the barnyard odor of days-old sweat and imperfectly
wiped assholes; six years of hot-bunking at a Temp flophouse, time-sharing a
single bed in eight-hour shifts with two other Laborers, sleeping on sheets
damp with their polluted sweat and the stains of their diseased bodily fluids.
Kollberg's
ragged fingernails scritched across his work space, and his lips curled
into knots against his teeth.
The
progress bar was nearly full.
If
this is a dream, Kollberg decided, it
will end when the progress bar fills. That's how I'll know.
Soon—too soon, bitterly soon—he would be jerked or
slapped awake, to find himself in his tiny cubicle at the Labor Clinic, facing
his flickering, blurred deskscreen. He'd have to look at one of the Labor trash
who were his coworkers and shrug apologetically, would have to smile sheepishly
and mumble something about insomnia last night. Or, worse yet, he might wake up
to find his office manager leaning over him, that stuck-up Artisan bitch with
the plastic tits, the cracks in her face spackled with the makeup she troweled
on every morning. That vicious cunt would dock his pay an hour for sleeping,
even if he'd only nodded off ten minutes ago.
For this was his life.
After five years of enduring the soul-killing
humiliation of the Temp boards, Kollberg had found a job, a real job. It paid
less per hour than Temping, but it was steady; over the course of the sixty
hours he spent each week inside his cubicle entering patients' data into the
Labor Clinic's main core, he made enough to rent himself a room at an SRO only
three blocks from the clinic, to rent a netscreen, and even to buy private food
three or four times a week He was, in the brutally limited way only another Temp
would really understand, making something of himself.
But now, he somehow knew, he was entering a new
world: a world of dream, where all his hopes and his childhood imaginings might
still come to pass.
He remembered getting stiffly out of his bed, throwing
the bedclothes on the floor, dressing leadenly in yesterday's shirt and pants.
No shower: freshwater showers at the SRO cost three marks for ten minutes, and
he could only afford two each week. Salt water was cheaper, but it came untreated
straight from the Bay; it made him itch and stink worse than he would if he
didn't bother to wash at all. He'd used a cream depilatory to smooth his
stubbled cheeks, and only then had he realized he'd overslept by half an hour.
He'd raced to the clinic without breakfast, and had been able to slide into his
cubicle and log on with a full minute to spare; this had allowed him the luxury
of answering the Artisan cunt's fisheye with a slightly smug smile.
A dim, she'd begun sternly.
Kollberg had hunched over his keyboard, drawing
breath for his automatic correction, but he saw the lift of her eyebrow and the
compression at one corner of her mouth that said she was waiting for his
correction, hoping he would remind her that his name was Arturo, purely so
that she could call him Arthur again: another demonstration of how
easily she could trample on whatever little dignity he thought to retain. He'd
refused to give her the satisfaction. Instead, he had closed his eyes for
a moment, gathered his composure, and said politely, "Yes, Artisan?"
"Arthur," she repeated heavily, "I know you're
aware that Clinic policy requires data entrars to be on the premises fifteen
minutes before log-on. Don't think that you'll be able to sneak away for coffee
or to use the bathroom before your 0930 break. You should have arrived early
enough to take care of that before you sat down."
"Yes, Artisan."
"I'll be watching you."
His cheeks flamed; he could feel the sneaking stares
of the other clerks even through the cubicle walls; he could picture them
paused, holding breath, leaning slightly, fingers silently poised above
keypads, heads cocked as they listened raptly to his humiliation. "Yes,
Artisan."
Kollberg suffered in the ringing silence.
Finally, the Artisan cunt had swept her eyes around
at the other clerks, and the muffled thuttering of keystrokes had begun to
spread throughout the terminal suite, and he had been able to breathe again. It
was at that point, Kollberg decided, that he must have fallen asleep; up to
then, it had been a perfectly unexceptional day.
The progress bar filled, and vanished.
For an instant the screen flashed pure white, as
though its crystals were breaking down. The flash hurt—hurt his face,
his temples, hurt his ears, hurt like it had reached inside his skull and
squeezed his eyeballs together.
Kollberg gasped, for from the pain blossomed a
vision, unfolding as though it downloaded directly into his brain: he saw
himself recasted as an Administrator, returned to the arms of the Studio in
triumph, carried through the iron gates on the shoulders of cheering
undercastes.
Flash
Not only recasted, but upcasted: Businessman Kollberg,
at the podium in One World Center in New York, accepting the Studio Presidency
from Westfield Turner.
Flash
Leisureman
Kollberg, retiring from the Studio
to his private island in the Ionian Sea, to finish his alloted span in a
life of sybaritic comfort and satyric pleasures unimaginable to the undercastes
.. . And that was when he knew. This was more than a vision: it was an offer.
And
it was a test.
He had been seven years in the desert, and now he
was being offered dominion over all the kingdoms of the Earth. There was more
here than any burst-feed from the net into his brain. This was an offer of
power unimaginable: the power of a god.
He
muttered, through teeth clenched hard enough to make his gums bleed, "Get
thee behind me, Satan."
Where
the progress bar had vanished, in the middle of his screen, now stood a menu
box with two radio buttons:
Kollberg set his jaw and straightened his spine.
With pride in himself and in his calling, with pure, unshakable determination,
he moved the cursor to SERVICE, and hit RETURN.
His annunciator chimed, and the menu box
disappeared. His screen wiped to brilliant, eye-piercing white that cast black
shadows behind him and fogged his vision as though he stared into the sun.
His breath caught and his stomach twisted: something
huge and foul forced its way into his mouth, into his throat—tears swam in his
eyes, and his face burned with agony as the light charred his flesh. But still,
somehow, through the blinding light and the unbearable pain, he could read one
last message, written in stark black upon the blazing white.
THOU ART MY OWN SON, WHOM I LOVE.
WITH THEE I AM WELL PLEASED.
Then it entered him with power: into his eyes, down
his throat, in through his nose, his ears, ripping open his rectum and jamming
up the length of his shriveled penis, forcing into him with howling lust; it
filled him to bursting, swelling him from within, stretching him thinner and
thinner like a weather balloon expanding toward destruction, while it dissolved
and digested his guts, his heart, lungs and bones, everything within the
stretching membrane of his skin. His eyeballs expanded, threatening to burst
from his face, to explode from the pressure that built within them.
He screamed in pain as he squeezed his eyelids shut,
trying to keep his eyes in their sockets by sheer strength—and as though that
sudden shriek had broken the spell, the pain vanished without even the faintest
twinge to mark its passing.
He opened his eyes again. Everyone was staring at
him, leaning out of their carrels or peering meekly over the dividers, showing
nothing but greasy hair and curious eyes. The Artisan cunt looked distinctly
alarmed.
"Arthur," she said severely. "I hope
there is some explanation for this . . . for this breach of discipline.
If you're ill, you should have reported to the Physician before your
scheduled log-on. If not ..." She let the sentence trail off into
unspecified threat.
His screen was dark. It gave back a faint reflection
of his face, and he could see that nothing of this ordeal had marked him: he
looked exactly the same as he had one minute before. But now he felt suspended,
floating at equilibrium, airy and filled with light. He understood now: yes, he
was dreaming.
This was a dream, all of it.
It would always be a dream.
He would never have to wake up.
"Marie
. . . ?" He murmured languidly. Marie was the Artisan cunt's name.
"I think I'm going to fuck you."
One side of her mouth spasmed down toward her hard
jaw as though she'd suffered a paralytic stroke. She backed away from him,
making guttural uhm, mm, erm noises deep in her throat; then she said
something unspecific about a breakdown, and something else about calling a
Physician.
Kollberg slid the tip of his tongue in a slow meaty
circuit around his slack lips. He became aware, looking at her, that she and he
were not truly distinct individuals; that, in fact, he was a more potent
expression of an energy that they both shared. She was a leaf, but he was the
tree .. . No, that wasn't right. The concept continued to organize itself
within him—or, perhaps, he around it. More like: she was a building, and he was
the city.
She was human, and he was humanity.
He saw where she fit into him, and he into her, and
now he could feel the lives of the Laborers around him: their cool firefly
sparkles fed his landscape of light. He knew them thoroughly, inside and out,
their petty hungers and their pale lusts, their tiny pathetic hopes and their
private niggard fears. The wave front of his expanding, consciousness
outrippled with geometric acceleration, swelling the more with each mind that
he swallowed: through the building, through the block, reaching out into
the city. Here and there he tasted lives that were familiar: the fetid swamps
of the useless on the streets of the District; the ugly fantasies of his SRO
roommate, masturbating at a public urinal; the smug self-righteous timidity of
his onetime secretary Gayle Keller; the blank wirehead dedication of Studio
techs and the delicious devotion of Worker secmen.
And perhaps this wasn't a dream, after all; perhaps
the life of Arturo Kollberg had been a dream, from his childhood disgraced by
the miscegenation of his mixed-caste parents, through his spectacular rise to
the Studio Chairmanship and his still-more-spectacular fall.
Perhaps he was only now waking up.
He touched the scattered sparks that were the
individual lives of the Board of Governors. He gifted them all with a small
portion of his gratitude and gave them each the interior warmth and
satisfaction of seeing a well-done job come to its fruition. They, in turn,
gladly gave up the devotion that he required of them. His loyal priesthood had
brought him forth in the body; he loved them for it, and they him.
With echoes of power ringing in his head, Kollberg
wondered what he should do now—and the answer was obvious.
Whatever I want.
Joined with that vast sea of human minds, the choice
of service and self vanished: there could be no difference between them. His
gaze fell once more upon Marie, and sharpened its focus, and he offered his
carious teeth to her in a shit-colored smile.
"You stay right there," she ordered, pale
as milk. "Take one step out of your cubicle, and I'll call the Social
Police."
"No need," Kollberg said, drawing out the
word into a drawl of happy lust. "They're already here."
The office door slammed open as though kicked, and
Social Police flooded the room, a riot platoon in full combat gear: twenty-five
mirror-masked officers in ballistic armor, power rifles slanted across their
chests, shock batons dangling from their belts. Everyone but Kollberg froze in
place at their desks; in a sudden accession to their ancestral herd instincts,
the data clerks understood that to move was to set oneself out from the crowd.
To set oneself out from the crowd was to be marked.
They knew: the Artisan supervisor, she had been
marked.
Kollberg moved to the center of the room, seeing his
own face reflected in every single one of the mirror masks. Those reflections
smiled upon him, and he upon them. The nearest officer inclined his head, just
a trifle. "At your will," his digitized voice confirmed flatly.
"Seal
the mom," Kollberg murmured. Then a better idea floated up from the hollow
core of what had once been his brain. "No--seal the building."
The officer crossed his arms to tap out orders on
his suit's forearm keypads.
Kollberg turned, his movement graceful and
effortless, a weightless ballet. He met the eyes of the Artisan cunt, and his
penis stiffened so suddenly that his breath came thick and hot. His testicles
burned. "Her," he said, pointing.
She made a gagging noise, deep in her throat, and
turned as though to bolt toward the inner offices. Two soapies sprang after her
and tackled her to the floor. She moaned, and cried, and begged. Kollberg
stepped over and stood above the three of them.
"Her clothes."
One of the officers held her pinned, grinding her
face into the filthy polyester shag of the carpet, while the other unfolded a
pocket knife and sliced away her clothes. Her flesh was pale and slack, pockets
of fat bulging across her ass, down the sides of her thighs. Kollberg opened
the fly of his dungarees, and his penis sprang out. "Turn her over. She
has to kiss me when I come."
The officers rolled her onto her back, and one of
them forced her legs apart. Her breasts spread huge and limp along her ribs,
her nipples like used condoms pointing toward her elbows. Hmp, Kollberg
thought. Not plastic, after all. He lowered himself between her knees.
He had to spit on her crotch for lubrication.
His penis slid into her, and he humped her
thoughtfullly, dispassionately, regarding her anguished sobbing struggle with a
detached interest as she thrashed under him, held by the relentless grip of the
Social Police. Fucking her was interesting, in an abstract sort of way; because
they were one, he was also fucking himself—and he was watching himself
fuck her through the eyes of his stunned coworkers. Like masturbating while
looking in a mirror.
This, he felt, was the ideal way to get up in the
morning.
"And, you know what?" he said. "I
woke up hungry."
He lowered his head and sank his teeth into her
breast. Her flesh was tough, stringy and old, and she struggled harder and
screamed more, but after a bit of work he managed to tear a chunk free. He
chewed it slowly, interested in its delicate flavor and rubbery texture, but in
the end it meant no more to him than if he'd bitten off a hangnail. He licked her
blood from his lips, nodded to himself, smiled, then bent his head for another
bite.
3
The live special report of Adventure Update gleamed
and flickered in the mirror on Tan'elKoth's desk. Jed Clearlake had caught up with
Hari Michaelson at a convention in Los Angeles and was now conducting a live
interview from the convention floor—giving Michaelson a worldwide audience to
make his case about the "HRVP crisis on Overworld"--while in the
background hundreds of bizarrely dressed fans capered and cavorted for the
video pickups.
Though the spectrum of costumes reflected admiration
for hundreds of Actors active, retired, and dead, the majority of those picked
out by the cameras advertised Caine's continuing popularity. Dozens were
costumed as Caine himself, many as Pallas Ril, some as Berne or Purthin
Khlaylock or the Khulan g'Thar; some few—generally poorly groomed and enormously
fat—had costumed themselves as Ma'elKoth.
Tan'elKoth
gave only a fraction of his attention to the report; mostly, he studied his
visitors.
Arturo Kollberg sat at the ex-Emperor's side,
staring at the screen with monomaniac fixity; his rubbery piscine mouth hung
open, and he made half-audible panting noises like a tomcat in rut. He had
arrived in the company of a four-man enforcement squad of the Social Police.
The four officers boxed Kollberg and Tan'elKoth, standing at riot-ready around
them, hands on shock batons and power pistols. The mirrored face shields of
their helmets glinted with the reflections of the Adventure Update report,
and with pinpoint distortions of Kollberg's and Tan'elKoth's screenlit faces.
So
far, Tan'elKoth had been unable to determine if they were Kollberg's jailers,
or his bodyguards.
The call from the Board of Governors had come only
minutes before Kollberg's arrival. You are acquainted with Laborer Arturo
Kollberg. Laborer Kollberg has our full confidence in this matter. Treat with
him as you would with us.
He knew that dangerous forces interacted here below
his level of perception, like predatory sharks jockeying for position around a
sinking boat. The Social Police officers did not defer to Kollblerg, nor did
they seem to direct him; in fact, Kollberg had spoken only to Tan'elKoth since
their arrival, and the soapies had remained facelessly silent. He also couldn't
guess if any of them realized that their powered weapons were perfectly useless
in the Curioseum's ON field; without its nerve-tangling discharge, a shock
baton was no more lethal than a whiffle bat.
As Tan'elKoth studied them, he flicked his vision
into mindview now and again; this he could do as effortlessly as an
ordinary man blinks. When he did so quickly enough, cycling back and forth with
ordinary vision, he could sometimes catch glimpses of some strange energy that
surrounded all five of them. Not their Shells—they didn't even seem to have Shells
in the ordinary sense—but rather a strange colorless distortion. This odd
energy or distortion would vanish as soon as he fixed his gaze upon it he saw
it only as fleeting twists of reality in his peripheral vision.
Kollberg had changed beyond recognition in the six
years since his trial. Had Tan'elKoth not been told to expect him, he would
have had no idea who this thin, somnolent, ill-looking man might be. Their arrival
had brought with it a smell: blood and more than blood, thick and meaty and
sweetly rank: the fermenting shit of a carnivore. In the near darkness of the
apartment it was difficult to tell, but Tan'elKoth thought the bloody stench
might emanate from Kollberg himself—what remained of the man's hair seemed to
be caked with something, and his face bore either some kind of birthmark or a
smear of filth.
"The ultimate goal of your masters has never
been a mystery to me," Tan'elKoth said by way of a preamble. "It was
instantly clear that this release of HRVP was a ploy to increase the Earth
presence on Overworld."
"Was it?" Kollberg said tonelessly. His
voice was thick and meaty, inhuman, as though the choking stench that cloaked
him had itself somehow spoken aloud. "Clear?"
"Of course. That's why you target the elves:
They're cute. Cute creatures dying horrible deaths are ideal tools to
mobilize public opinion. Once a few thousand elves die, the entire Leisure
caste will clamor for a massive relief effort; the staunchest rock-ribbed Hands
Off advocates on the Leisure Congress will be the first to insist that hundreds
of thousands of your people should be shipped to Overworld to combat the
disease. Within days, weeks at most, your people are fully in place across the
entire continent. It is easy enough to invent excuses to remain, once there—and
suddenly, Earth is no longer restricted to a tiny mining colony in the
mountains. Suddenly there is cropland, forests for timber, uncontaminated
fisheries, billions of tons of coal, crude oil, and space—simple space, to
relieve the pressure of fourteen billion lives on Earth. This is how I know
that HRVP is merely a dodge; in fact, I anticipate that your epidemic will
mysteriously blow itself out, not long after your relief effort reaches its
peak. It's clear that your Bog must have some method for controlling the
infection—uncontrolled, it would destroy too many profitable ecosystems. The
Board of Governors would not damage something as valuable as the Studio System,
did they not anticipate decades and centuries of ever-increasing returns."
"You're
very perceptive," Kollberg murmured.
"I
am Tan'elKoth." And yet—a niggling worm of doubt slithered through
the back of his mind—he did not say I was correct.
"What do you propose?"
"An alliance. As I told your masters,"
Tan'elKoth said, "we have a common goal. Humanity has been locked in a
struggle against extinction on my world for a thousand years; we vie with
elves, dwarfs, krr'x, and ogrilloi for living space; we struggle against
dragons in the mountains and leviathans at sea. In the midst of all this, we
continue to war upon each other, giving aid to our enemies. With the power of
Earth, we could overwhelm our enemies and ensure our survival—ha, I would not
even need your technology: send me ten percent of your Labor caste and I could
drown our foes with sheer number"
"So,"
Kollberg said flatly. "It's clear what we can do for you. Make me
understand what you have to offer us."
That worm of doubt began to wriggle through the gates
of Tan'el-Koth's mind, as though Hannto were trying to gain his attention;
there was something about the way Kollberg spoke, something eerily familiar
about his affectless voice and academic diction. Tan'elKoth stepped on that
worm and ground it beneath his mental heel; he had no leisure for second
thoughts.
He spread his hands. "In my role as the
rightful ruler of Ankhana—who is also a citizen of Earth--I can petition
the Leisure Congress for the aid of the Overworld Company. I can invite you
into the Empire. I can ensure that your bleeding hearts, as you call
them, support your occupation, instead of oppose it."
"You may perhaps be useful, after all."
"I am more than useful. I am necessary. Without
me, your plans cannot even be initiated." Tan'elKoth gestured to the
mirror that flickered upon his desktop. "Have you forgotten Caine?"
Michaelson was saying, "Of course, that
recording was never intended for public release. We didn't want a panic. I've
directed Studio Security to open an investigation into the source of the leak.
There's been a lot of outcry already, but it's important for your viewers to
understand that thanks to an immediate, aggressive response by the Studio
itself—the crisis is already under control."
"And what was the Studio's response,
Administrator?"
"Well, I guess I can take some of the credit
for that myself When you're married to a goddess—" He gave a brief, self-deprecating, professionally
charming chuckle. "—a lot of problems just aren't as impossible as they
might look"
Kollberg grunted wordlessly at the screen.
"Do you understand yet how thoroughly your
masters have been outfought?" Tan'elKoth asked. "You cannot even retaliate;
not only is he once again a public hero, he is surrounded by thousands of
his most devoted admirers—anything that happens to him will be witnessed by all
Earth. By the time this convention has ended, it will be too late. Pallas Ril
will have utterly destroyed your plan."
Kollberg only grunted again. His shoulders flexed,
and his hands worked back and forth across the front of his pants. Tan'elKoth
noted with swift distaste that the man had an erection—and he was rubbing it
through his dungarees.
Clearlake continued to lob Michaelson his lines with
clean-cut good nature. "Did you ever consider that this might have been
nothing but a hoax?"
"Sure. Sitting here, on Earth, we can't
possibly know the truth. It could be a hoax—or it could be a catastrophe. Sending Pallas to Overworld is a
measured response—if this is a hoax, it hasn't cost anybody much. If this is a
real crisis, she can handle it. Speaking strictly for myself, I believe that
elf was telling the truth. Look at him. Listen to his voice. You'll believe
him, too. You know my philosophy: hope for the best, but plan for the
worst."
"There's been some public speculation that this
outbreak might not have been an accident," Clearlake said, "that it was deliberately
inflicted on Overworld by a terrorist group, or some kind of psychopathic
personality within the Overworld Company, or even the Studio itself"
"I'm inclined to doubt it," Michaelson said seriously, "but the
possibility must be investigated. I'm told the Overworld Company's Internal
Security unit is already looking into this, but I believe that a situation
as potentially grave as this one requires a response by the Studio itself. I've
already spoken with Studio President Businessman Turner and offered my own
services as a special envoy for a fact-finding mission to Transdeia. I've, ah,
offered to go over on ammod. As you know, my thoughtmitter is, still in place;
on ammod, everything I see will be transmitted and recorded instantly on Earth.
There'd be no possibility of mistake, or question of concealment—I'd be like a
Registered Witness. The whole world would see how committed the Studio—and the
Overworld Company—is to the welfare of the natives of Overworld."
Clearlake
had given one of his familiar suave, knowing chuckles. "Ever the man of
action, eh, Hari? Showing a little of that old Caine spirit?"
"Well,
Jed—" An answering chuckle.
"—sometimes a little of that old Caine spirit is exactly what we
need."
Another
chuckle from Clearlake, this time less knowing, more openly appreciative. "Well,
I for one would certainly pay a mark or two to see Caine back on-line. How can
the Studio resist?"
Tan'elKoth allowed himself a grim smile.
Michaelson went on, "And an investigation
should be opened here on Earth, as well. We need to know how this happened. We
need to make sure it can never happen again."
"Do you see?" Tan'elKoth said to Kollberg.
"Do you see the avalanche as it descends upon you?"
Kollberg nodded. "He must be stopped."
"You must understand that you cannot simply
kill him. Not now. His energies have already been directed against you and your
masters; his sudden death—even by accident or `natural causes'—will result in
an explosively destructive release of those energies."
Kollberg's head swiveled as though mounted on
gimbals, and his gaze met Tan'elKoth's with the blank incuriosity of a lizard's.
"Expand on this."
Tan'elKoth compressed his lips. "Consider only
the most obvious, surface level of the effect: Anything that happens to
Michaelson will be taken by Caine's admirers as hard evidence of a sinister
conspiracy—and there are many admirers of Caine sitting on the Leisure Congress
itself. The best you could hope for would be a public investigation into the
practices of the Studio and the Overworld Company. You would bring about
precisely the events that you hope to avert."
"I do not see how this is related to
Michaelson's so-called energies."
"I am not responsible for the limitations of
your vision," Tan'elKoth said sourly. "Those energies have little to
do with Michaelson. They are Caine's. It is not Michaelson who is beloved by a
billion fans and more. And even that love is the merest iceberg tip—but how can
you comprehend the enormity that lies below the surface, when you are blind to
the decimus in plain view?"
"What solution do you propose?"
That worm of doubt wriggled beneath Tan'elKoth's
mental heel, and suddenly grew into an icy serpent he realized why Kollberg's
manner was so eerily familiar. He spoke exactly like a meat-and-bone version of
the Board of Governors.
A premonition of disaster rose up in his throat like
vomit.
"The key to successful solution of your
Michaelson problem is analysis," he said briskly, to cover his momentary
lapse. "Reduce the problem to its components, so that the necessities
involved in successful resolution become clear. The Michaelson problem breaks
down neatly into two components: dealing with Pallas Ril, and dealing with
Caine. Dealing with Caine also breaks down into two components: the public and
the personal.
"The public side of the Caine component is his
popularity: the attention—and even love—he commands worldwide. This is more
susceptible to resolution than it may at first appear; one must simply be
conscious of what it is, after all, that Caine's fans love. It is not Caine
himself, despite what they may claim, and even believe. What they value so highly
is the myth of Caine: the drama and adventure he has brought into their
dull workaday lives. Thus: the necessary resolution of the public component
must have a certain high drama—a sort of poetic thunder that will satisfy his
fans."
Kollberg
said flatly, "They won't mind that he dies, so long as he dies well."
"Precisely. It must have every necessary
element of a Caine tale: villains and heroes, a struggle against hopeless odds,
and an apocalyptic denouement."
"This can be done?"
Tan'elKoth met his blank gaze without hesitation.
"It can. Most of these elements are already in place; success is only a
matter of the proper orchestration. It requires, if I may extend the metaphor,
the proper conductor."
"This being you."
"This being me." He nodded to himself, he
liked the way this was going, now—despite Tan'elKoth's misgivings, Kollberg
seemed eminently pragmatic and accessible to reason. "Caine's public
energies are not the only energies at his command. The private component deals
with his will itself—one might call it his rapier, by contrast with the more
public bludgeon."
Tan'elKoth rose restlessly and began to pace: a
tiger prowling the limits of a cage marked by the silent, motionless Social
Police officers. "The successful resolution of the private component—blunting,
as it were, Caine's rapier—involves diverting him, scattering his energies,
overwhelming him with multiple problems until he cannot focus on any single
one. It is insufficient to defeat him objectively—we must beat him subjectively.
We must demonstrate to him beyond any shadow of dispute that he is
helpless. We must teach him to think of himself as a defeated man."
A
hint of a smile began to twitch the corners of Kollberg's thick, deadmeat lips.
"You want to break him before you kill him."
Tan'elKoth
halted his pacing and met Kollberg's empty eyes. "Yes." "Is this
a true necessity? Or is this revenge?"
"Does it matter?" Tan'elKoth shrugged.
"In this case, the concatenation of necessity and pleasure is fortuitous—which
is to say: yes, we must do this ... and yes, I shall enjoy it."
The
liver-colored tip of Kollberg's tongue circled his lips. "I approve,"
he said.
Tan'elKoth gave him a slim smile. "Now, we turn
to the Pallas Ril component. This breaks down neatly into another pair, as
well: the mystic and the physical. The physical difficulties are obvious, I
think. Pallas. Ril is a creature of nearly unlimited power, able to sense—and
theoretically to affect—every living thing in the entire Great Chambaygen
watershed; she can act at nearly any distance. She can stride the length of the
Empire in a single hour; even granting the ability to defeat her, she cannot
even be located unless she wishes to be found."
"You make her sound invincible."
"No
one is invincible," Tan'elKoth said darkly, "as I have learned to my
eternal shame. It is a matter of selecting the proper weapon."
Kollberg's eyes were flat and dull as chips of
slate. "Go on."
"The mystic component is still more parlous. To
simply slay her is not enough; she has imposed her will upon Chambaraya to the
extent that the death of her body would do far more harm than good, insofar as
the success of your plans is concerned."
His great hands knotted behind his back, but his
tone remained dry, precise, clinical: the clipped delivery of the professional
lecturer. "Consciousness is a patterning of energy; infused with the power
of Chambaraya, her consciousness cannot be overcome by a merely physical death.
Will is expressed through a body, and is to some extent limited by the body
that expresses it. To merely destroy Pallas Ries body would release her
consciousness—and that consciousness could pattern the river itself, the entire
Great Chambaygen watershed, as its body. We would have made of our enemy a god
in truth, instead of a part-time Actress playing with unearned power."
He turned and regarded Kollberg with a trace of a
smile. "On the other hand, she is the only part of Chambaraya that cares a
whit whether the races of Overworld live or die. To Chambaraya, life is life:
the maggots that would feed upon their corpses are every bit as precious as
elves and dwarfs and even human beings slain by your disease. So the solution
is obvious: we must separate her from the river. In this fashion—only in
this fashion—can the Pallas Ril component be successfully resolved."
Kollberg's reptilian gaze never wavered. "How
will this be accomplished?"
"Not by me personally, you may be
assured," Tan'elKoth said. "She would become aware of me with my
first breath of Home air, and would be on her guard. No more must Caine be
aware that my hand is against him to give him a clear vision of his enemy is to
hand him victory."
Tan'elKoth allowed his smile to sharpen to a razor
edge. "The components have been analyzed; the true measure of success
shall be the elegance of their solution. We have regarded them individually. We
must resolve them simultaneously"
"You say you can do this," Kollberg
murmured tonelessly.
"I can."
"Then do it."
Tan'elKoth leaned comfortably back in his chair, taking
a deep, slow, easeful breath. He glanced at the four distorted reflections of
his face in the mirror masks of the Social Police, then let his gaze slide back
to Kollberg.
"First—as Caine would say—let's talk
deal."
4
Vinson Garrette, Viceroy of Transdeia, leaned
forward onto the table, holding his cut-crystal wineglass before his eyes,
examining the way the rich cabernet shaded to rusty earth tones at the
intersection of wine and glass. "What if we—the Artan rulers—as a
gesture of good faith," he said slowly, meditatively, "to cement our
. . . relationship ... with the Monasteries, were to give you something
that you want? Hypothetically. Something of small value to us, but substantial
value to the Monasteries. To you personalty, Your Excellency."
Raithe folded his skeletal hands and stared past his
own wineglass, untouched on the table. "What—hypothetically—would we be
talking about, Your Highness?"
"What would it be worth to you, for
example—" Garrette leaned back into his ornately carved chair at the head
of the table. "—to get your hands on Caine?"
Raithe
sat motionless as a lizard for a very long time; he did not even blink.
Then
he reached out and grasped his wineglass, and raised it slowly to his lips.
5
As His Radiance Toa-Sytell, Patriarch of the
Ankhanan Empire, stared at the image of Ambassador Raithe in his Mirror, he
wondered if the young Ambassador had any idea how much the Empire was already
learning of the inner secrets of the Monasteries.
In only a month, the Artan Mirror had revolutionized
communica tion in the Empire. Now there were at least one or two Artan
Mirrors in every major city and not a few of the minor ones; each major
military outpost had its own. Only three days ago, a young thaumaturge in the
service of the Eyes of God had reported that he had discovered a way to
eavesdrop on Mirrored conversations without the knowledge of the speakers at
either end.
Toa-Sytell used his free hand to mop faint beads of
sweat from his upper lip; he'd been feeling a bit under the weather for a
day or two, and now it seemed he might be developing a fever. His discomfort
made it difficult to fix his attention on the young Ambassador's words.
"—as you know," the Ambassador was saying, "the Council of
Brothers supports fully the Empire and the elKothan Church. The gesture we are
prepared to make, we offer without any expectation of return."
Toa-Sytell flicked a glance at the Eye
Mirror-speaker, whose hand he held. The Eye nodded, indicating that the
Ambassador was telling the truth as he knew it. This was another of the
innovations from the Eyes of God researchers: the Eye would have heard the
untruth of any lie. "All very heartwarming," the Patriarch responded
with his characteristic dry irony, "but I was told this is some sort of
emergency?"
"What
is urgent, Your Holiness, is our need for reassurance that our gift will be put
to its proper use."
"And
that use would be?"
"It
is a gift for the Festival of the Assumption, Your Holiness, A very, very
special gift, to honor the Empire, and the Church."
Again,
the Mirror-speaker nodded.
"Yes,
yes," Toa-Sytell said testily. "Go on; what is it?"
"What,
if you had the power," Raithe
said with a secretive smile, as though he already knew the answer, "would
you do with Caine?" Toa-Sytell jumped, and his eyes took fire.
"Caine ..."
"Caine was never officially sentenced for his
murder of the late Ambassador Creek. He is, insofar as the Monasteries are
concerned, a free man, innocent of any crime," Raithe said. "However, I believe his status
with the Empire is rather different."
Toa-Sytell barely hear the words; he found himself
on his feet, trembling, crushing the Mirror-speaker's hand until the poor man
blanched. "You can give me Caine?"
Within his head roared the flames of a Festival
auto-da-fé; in his nostrils the scent of Caine's burning flesh; in his ears the
cheers of Beloved Children around the world; around his heart coiled the old,
cold serpent that whispered sweet revenge.
Raithe
smiled. "If I can?"
"I
swear—We swear, I and God Himself—" Toa-Sytell said, forcing the words
from his breathless chest, "you will not be disappointed."
6
The face of the woman on the screen was attractive,
even without makeup, even puffy with interrupted sleep, even though past
seventy without ever indulging the vanity of cosmetic surgery. A long straight
nose, planar cheeks, strong jaw, eyes the crystal blue of a Nordic winter sky;
her hair was cut to a uniform half inch, a skullcap the color of steel. Only
her mouth marred her classic beauty: it was a thin, lipless gash like a hatchet
wound in her face.
Tan'elKoth allowed himself to study her. His video
was refused; on her end, she glared with sleepy antagonism into a blank screen.
Past her shoulder he could see a wrought-iron bedstead, and he could glimpse
the curve of a young man's back half buried in tangled bedcovers at her side.
Tan'elKoth
glanced up at the Social Police; they stood in an arc behind him. Kollberg
pressed close to his side, his breath bloody and rank.
"I don't know who you are or how you got this
code," Businessman Avery
Shanks said, her voice thick and clumsy, the way it always was when she was
unexpectedly awakened—the sedatives she'd been using intermittently for forty
years always left her a bit dazed. "You should know I have no tolerance
for pranks. SynTech security is tracing this call."
There
it was: that tone of generalized threat he remembered so well. He let the sound
of her voice call forth Lamorak.
Overpowering love swelled within his captured
memory, leaving him breathless; one enormous hand came up to touch the
unfamiliar curve of his face, as he remembered being smaller, blond and
graceful, a master swordsman—and smaller yet, coming in tears with scraped
elbows and knees to this woman's hard, unforgiving lap. She had never been
comfortable—but she had always been protective, and vengeful as a dragon.
Her
hand came up, reaching for the cutoff, and Tan'elKoth whispered, "Mother....
?"
Her
hand froze, suspended weightless in midreach, and her face went utterly blank.
"Mother?"
Tan'elKoth said softly, gently, lovingly, in Lamorak's voice. "Mother,
it's me. Don't you know me?"
The hard, cold lines of her face crumbled like a
glacier breaking up into the sea. "Karl ... ?" she whispered,
sounding suddenly sixty years younger. "Karl, is that you ... ? Am I
dreaming?"
"Mother,
I need you. Please. Help me."
Astonishment
glistened in the corners of her ice-blue eyes. "Help you? Karl ... oh
Karl, oh my god, Karl ..."
A single keystroke uploaded the file from
Tan'elKoth's personal datacore: a digigraph of a snapshot he'd downloaded from
the Studio security-video archives, when he'd been considering using Faith as a
model for a sculpture he'd been planning. He'd never done the sculpture but he'd
also never erased the digigraph. The frame-in-frame showed him a small version
of what Avery would be seeing on her screen right now: a beautiful
golden-haired child with a sunny smile and pale blue eyes.
"Do
you know who this is, Mother? It's Faith Michaelson." "Michaelson?"
Avery's face iced over, and her voice congealed. "The Michaelson?
That's his daughter?"
"No,
Mother," Tan'elKoth whispered. "That's Pallas Ril's daughter."
Her eyes widened.
Tan'elKoth
said, "That's my daughter."
"Your
... Karl, what—?"
"Mother,
please," he whispered, letting his voice fade. "Please help
me..."
"Karl—"
He
stroked the cutoff.
He
looked up. Lit by the cool glow of the blank screen, Kollberg leered at him,
wiping something from his chin with the back of his hand. Tan'elKoth said,
"It has begun."
And
there came a day when the god of dust and ashes raised up its hammer against
the dark angel.
The hammer was lifted piecemeal, and each piece was
a person, and to each person the god of dust and ashes whispered: This do
for me, and receive in payment your fondest desire.
Each
person, each piece said yes, and in so saying became the hammer of the
blind god.
EIGHT
A
perfectly anonymous digitized voice cut through the dully roaring babble on the
convention floor.
"Administrator
Michaelson."
Hari looked up from the autograph book he was
signing and saw his own face, fisheye distorted and reflected four times over
in the mirror masks of a Social Police enforcement squad.
He
couldn't breathe.
That instant stripped away Caine's success and fame;
stripped away the thousands of fans who crowded around him in this immense
overheated room; stripped the power of the Administrator caste and the status
of the Studio Chairmanship; stripped every part of him that lay over his most
fundamental baseline. The baseline of his soul was Labor.
Every
Laborer knows that trouble with Soapy is the last trouble you ever have.
"Administrator
Hari Khapur Michaelson. You are under arrest."
The
crowd of fans drew back, muttering to each other and exchanging awed glances.
He couldn't even tell which one of the soapies had spoken.
The exhibition hall flattened around him, ironing
the stalls and the booths and every fan into painted images of themselves, as
two-dimensional as cheap cover art; only the soapies still had solidity. The
rumble of voices and music and the blare of PA announcements all settled into
an insectile buzz that sounded like he had a housefly trapped inside his skull.
He coughed once, harshly. He wanted to ask On
what charge? but the words stuck in his throat like a chunk of half-chewed
meat. He stood nervelessly, unresisting, as one of the soapies turned him and
bound his wrists behind his back with plastic stripcuffs. Two held his arms;
another kept a shock baton at the ready.
The
last of them extended a palmpad. "Where is this child?"
The
screen of the palmpad showed a bright, cheerful image that he recognized:
it was a souvenir photo, a couple of years old, from a visit to the Studio Curioseum.
"Faith?" he said stupidly. "She's right over—"
He shut his mouth and clenched his teeth till his
ears rang.
He had met with his fans right next to the KidZone,
the huge complex of intertwined climbing tubes and game pods that dominated an
entire corner of the exhibition hall. The KidZone swarmed with children;
supervised by a double handful of Artisan au pairs, it was the place where
offspring were deposited so their parents could visit the convention
unencumbered. Faith was in a Leisure Call pod with a dozen or so other
kids—Faith was the Caller, and half of them were already out, having either
failed to follow an order or taken an order that wasn't preceded by
"Leisure Calls." Two more were counted out even as Hari glanced up
there. No surprise; Faith was lethal at Leisure Call.
What stopped Hari's mouth was a tall, slim woman
with an iron-grey crewcut and a jaw like a fire axe. She stood at the
chest-high fence surrounding the KidZone, her teeth bared in what might, on a
human, have looked like a smile. She scanned the children inside with eyes cold
as security cameras. She wore full Business dress, and four bodyguards with
SynTech logos on their shirts kept the crowd from pressing too close to her.
Avery Shanks.
The
soapy shoved the palmpad at him again. "Where is this child?" Hari
said through his teeth, "Ask my fucking lawyer."
But even as he spoke, Shanks lifted her hand and
pointed right at Faith up high in the game pod, and three of the SynTech guards
moved through the gate of the KidZone.
"Shanks,"
Hari snarled. The ice that had lodged in his chest became instant flame. "Shanks!
Leave her alone! You leave her the fuck alone!"
He lunged for her, but the soapies yanked his arms
back painfully. The one with the shock baton moved its business end closer to
his ribs, and he made himself stop; if he didn't, Faith would see the soapies
beat him—maybe beat him to death. He couldn't do that to her.
At his shout, Shanks turned and gave him a good view
of her shark-toothed grin. She came over, her bodyguard a muscle-bound shadow
at her shoulder. "Hello, Hari," she said in a soft mockery of cheer.
"Enjoying the convention?"
"If you touch my daughter, Shanks, I swear to
you--"
The false cheer vanished instantly, revealing
furious black triumph in-side her gem-blue eyes. "She's not your
daughter," Shanks spat. "That's exactly the point."
Hari went numb. He couldn't feel his legs—either his
bypass had shut down, or he was about to faint; he couldn't tell which.
"You see, I can touch her," Shanks
said. "It's you that can't. A simple DNA test will show she's a Shanks.
She's Business. You understand what that means, Michaelson? Do
you?"
Hari couldn't answer; he couldn't draw breath enough
to speak.
"She's too young to give consent. That means every
single time you have ever touched her, you have committed Forcible Contact
Upcaste." She bared her teeth, savage as a panther. "If I'd known
about this six years ago, I could have had you broken and sent to a social camp
for so much as changing her diaper."
He found his legs worked, after all. He lunged at
her. But the soapies held him tight and the shock baton triggered against his
ribs. They were almost gentle with him; instead of throwing him twitching to
the floor, the charge from the baton only shot fire up his spine and made him
sag. "Good, good," Shanks said. "Try again. I will enjoy
watching these officers kill you."
"You
can't hope this'll stand up," Hari said desperately. "I'm married to
her mother—her mother can give consent—"
She
looked at the soapies. "You heard."
"We
heard."
"You've
just established foreknowledge, Michaelson. You knew she's a Shanks. You've
always known it. I'll see you under the yoke for this." "My
wife—"
"Yes,
where is your wife? Is she available to testify?"
"She's
on Overworld," Hari ground out between his teeth. "You know she's
on Overworld. That's why you're pulling this shit now."
"Mind
your tone, Michaelson. Unless you liked that tap from the shock baton?"
"Where
did you get the image?" There was only one copy of that shot: it was
framed on his office desk at the Abbey. "Who gave you that picture?"
Shanks' eyes went distant and soft, and for a moment
she did not speak. "It was sent to my message dump . . . ah, anonymously,"
she said finally. "Yes, anonymously."
Hari was coldly calculating whether he could yank
free and get his teeth into her throat before the soapies could pull him down
when he heard Faith say, "Daddy? What's going on? Where's Gramma?"
One of the SynTech bodyguards led her by the hand.
She looked up at the Social Police with wide eyes that slowly filled with
puzzlement and hurt. "He said Gramma was here," Faith said, a little
petulantly. Gramma, to Faith, was Mara Leighton, Shanna's mother.
She looked up at the body-guard who held her hand. "You shouldn't lie to a
kid, Art'san. That's really, really bad."
Avery Shanks turned, six full feet of regal calm.
"He didn't lie, child. I am your grandmother."
And seeing them together—the shape of their faces,
even the way they both stood, looking at each other—even to Hari, the family
resemblance was unmistakable. It went through him like another shot from the
baton.
Faith frowned, and bit her lip. "Mommy's really
upset." She looked up into Hari's eyes and said gravely, "She's
coming home. She's really, really, really upset."
For one slack second, Hari was grateful—Oh, thank
god, she'll straighten this shit out in a second—but then he realized what
was at stake. He realized what would be lost if Pallas Ril left
Overworld with her job unfinished. She would never get the chance to go back.
"No," he said. "No, Faith, no—she
can't come home. Tell her I can handle it. I can handle it. Tell
her to stay and finish her work. Stay there until I send for her."
Faith shook her head. "She's really
upset." She turned and looked up into Shanks' cold blue eyes. "Mommy
thinks you're a bad person."
Shanks pursed her bloodless lips. "What kind of
sick fantasy have you spawned in this child's head?" She met his gaze for
a full second of undisguised loathing, then nodded to the bodyguard. "Take
her to the car."
"Faith—Faith, don't be afraid," Hari said.
"I'll make it right—no matter what it takes, I'll make things come out
right. I promise."
"Make things come out right?" Shanks said.
"They already have." "Shanks," Hari said, just above a
whisper. "Shanks, don't do this." "Businessman Shanks."
Cords
in his neck winched Hari's head down. "Businessman Shanks." She
smiled. "And that is how you will address this child, should you ever see
her again." She waved to the SynTech goons. "Go on?'
"Daddy?"
Faith's puzzlement turned to flat-out fear as the bodyguard picked her up.
"Daddy, make him put me down!"
"Businessman
..." Hari ground out, "Please."
"Much
better, Michaelson," Shanks said delightedly. "Let's have it
again, a little louder. I want all your fans to hear you beg."
"Daddy, please—Daddy!"
The soapies parted the crowd, and the goon carried
her toward the door. Shanks said, "Don't be shy, Michaelson. At least you
have the chance to beg—which is more than you gave Karl."
The words forced their way out through his locked
jaw. "You will suffer for this, you hatchet-faced cunt. You hear me? You
got no fucking clue how deep this shitpool is. I will fucking drown you in
it—"
"A threat?" Shanks interrupted, smiling.
"Am I dreaming? Did you actually just threaten a Businessman in front of
an entire Social Police enforcement squad?"
Faith
began to struggle, but the bodyguard only held her tighter as he walked away.
"Daddy, ow! He's hurting me! Daddy! Daddy, help!"
Hari threw himself blindly against the grip of the
soapies. For one instant their hands loosened and he thought he might pull
free, but the one with the shock baton gave him a shot right over his heart,
and this time it wasn't gentle at all. Hari collapsed to the floor, twitching
spastically. Faith didn't call to him anymore; now she just screamed like her
world was ending.
Shanks knelt beside Hari's head, and he had never
thought a human voice could carry so much hatred. "Every night for seven
years, Hari Michaelson, I have cried myself to sleep. I've worn out three
different cubes of For Love of Pallas Ril; I have watched you murder my
son two thousand times. I want to quote you, now."
She
leaned down as though to kiss him; her lips brushed his ear as she whispered,
"Did you really think I'd let you live?"
2
Avery Shanks felt warm all over; she felt a
satisfaction that another sort of woman would have called sexual. A kind of
benignity rose within her as she looked down upon the lovely blond hair of
Karl's daughter. If she wasn't careful, she might begin to smile.
Faith sat calmly and quietly beside Avery in the
passenger cabin of her Cadillac limousine. Her initial fussing about being
separated from Michaelson had stilled almost immediately upon liftoff Avery had
looked upon this display of self-control so extraordinary in a child of six and
thought that blood will tell, after all. This girl was unquestionably a Shanks.
"I will call you Faith," Avery instructed
her, "and you shall call me Grandmaman. We are going to Boston
together, where you shall live in a proper home, with proper servants, and
shall attend a school proper to a young Businessman. Do you understand?"
Faith's eyes met hers, huge but level and unafraid.
"Yes, Grandmaman."
She'd
even captured the nasal whine of the antiquated French pronunciation. This
child was so astonishingly apt—but she maintained her regal sternness with
the ease of a lifetime's habit. It would not do to show any sign of warmth or
weakness.
"You,"
she said, "are very well behaved."
"Thank
you, Grandmaman."
Avery
turned away to the window, muttering her surprise that a downcaste thug like
Michaelson had managed to rear an even half-civilized child. An interval passed
in silence.
"Grandmaman?"
"Yes?"
"What is a hatchet-faced cunt?"
Avery's left eyelid drooped as though she'd bitten
into an impossibly sour pastille, and for one long moment her mouth clamped
shut like a locked ledger—but then her thin, almost invisible lips bent into
something close to a smile. "I suppose: I am," she said. "Give
me your hand."
Faith dutifully offered her hand, and Avery took it.
"That is not a proper word for young ladies of the Business caste,"
she said, and gave the back of the child's hand a brisk, stinging slap with two
of her fingers, producing a sharp smack and a glitter of shocked moisture in
Faith's eyes.
Faith
bit her lip and took one deep, shuddering breath that threatened tears, but
that was all. After a moment, she said, "You shouldn't hit me."
"It
is also improper for a young lady of the Business caste to lecture her Grandmaman
on propriety."
"You better not hit me again," Faith told
her seriously. "Mommy wants me to behave while I'm with you. She told me
to always mind you until Daddy comes for me. I'm s'posed to do whatever you
say. But if you hurt me, she'll hurt you worse."
So. Here it was: the first clear evidence of the
possibly irreparable harm done to this child by her degraded upbringing. Avery
allowed a sigh to trickle from her long, straight nose, and nodded to herself.
"First," Avery said precisely, "the man you call Daddy is
not your father; he is--if he has any legal standing whatsoever, which is
questionable—your stepfather."
"I
know that," Faith said
dismissively. "Did you think that was a secret? I know all about
that."
"Do you?" That sour taste was back in her
mouth; she had been entertaining fantasies of instructing this child on her
true parentage, and on Michaelson's murder of her real father.
"Course. Mommy doesn't do secrets with
me. She can't."
"Well. In any case, the man you call Daddy will
not be coming for you," Avery continued. "In fact, you will never see
him again, except in court, and perhaps on the net. Do not expect him, and you
will not be dis appointed. Your mother engaged in criminal conspiracy with
that man to deny you your birthright. Thus, her wishes and intentions are
irrelevant; she has surrendered her parental rights. Do you understand this?
They wanted to hurt you. They do not love you."
Faith's only response was a patient silent stare.
Avery sighed again. "I understand how cruel
these truths must seem, but truth is usually painful, Faith.
Understanding this is the first part of growing up."
"You're the one that doesn't understand,"
Faith said serenely. "Mommy's with me right now. I can feel how
much she loves me. And Daddy will come for me. If you do anything to hurt me,
Daddy will hurt you worse than Mommy would. He's a mean bastard, that
way."
She said this in a dry, childishly innocent
way—clearly quoting her foul-mouthed stepfather without any real understanding
of the words. "He will fuck you up."
Avery's eye got that sour-pastille droop again, and
she went on. "Finally, threats of this nature are declassé. I know
that you are . . . disadvantaged . . . by having been forced to live in a
household with Actors, but be aware that in real life there is nothing
that either of your parents can do to cause me the slightest discomfort.
Insisting that your Grandmaman must beware of these undercaste creatures is
indulging in fantasy—which is not only declasse, but dangerous,
in a Businessman. You will never again repeat these ridiculous threats, nor
will you make any mention of this pernicious fantasy that you have some—"
Her mouth twisted distastefully. "—mental connection with your
mother. You must put such childish notions behind you, and prepare to enter the
full bright day of Business life. Do you understand, Faith?"
"Yes, Grandmaman."
"Good. Give me your hand."
Faith offered up her hand with such unhesitating
readiness that Avery—impulsively, on the spot—decided to hold it, and give it a
squeeze, rather than strike it.
Blood will tell, after all.
3
Hari sat on the edge of the expanded foam mattress,
its ragged edge making the steel struts of the cot frame almost comfortable
beneath the numb half-ache that always lurked inside his legs. He stared at the
featureless white plastic of the opposite wall.
The
Social Police had him in their jaws, and they were gonna chew him up good
before they spat him out.
They had taken his clothes, his watch, his palmpad,
his boots. They had given him a disposable cellophane dressing gown and stuck
him in a cell. Every time he saw a soapy, he asked for a chance to call his
lawyer. None of them ever responded. They spoke only to give him orders.
Every once in a while, an enforcement squad came by
his cell and marched him out at baton-point. The first time was just a standard
identity check by DNA sampling. The next time was a high-pressure wash from a
cold-water hose, leaving him bruised and chilled till he couldn't stop
shivering. The third time was a manual body-cavity search, gloved fingers
forcing themselves into his mouth, his nose, his rectum. And through it all,
the only face he ever saw was his own, distorted and leering in their silvered
masks.
He'd begun to fantasize that he could detect some
kind of expression in the masks, as though some unknown cue of body
language—maybe the subliminal angle of a shoulder, or the turn of a head, or
even just the slow pace of a gesture—was letting him see into them a little
bit: was letting him feel something from them.
The specifics? He couldn't get there, and they never
said anything to give him a clue, but he was sure they wanted something—the
feel he got from them was kind of like lust, almost. Or maybe hunger.
It was giving him the fucking creeps.
He kept seeing the look on Shanks' face as her goon
had carried Faith ofF that bleak triumph. Maybe there had been something there,
too—she had wanted something from him, too, and he didn't know if she'd gotten
it. Was taking Faith enough for her, or was she really going to try this
bullshit legal maneuvering with the criminal Forcible Contact charges? No way
to know where Shanks would stop. She seemed almost like one of Ma'elKoth's
Outside Powers from the old days: like she wanted to feed on his pain.
Just get me out of this cell, he thought. She might be out of his reach, but
Businessmen don't rule the world. One screencall to Marc Vilo—Leisureman Marc
Vilo: his upcaste had been sponsored by the late Shermaya Dole five years
ago—and Shanks would have some fucking pain of her own.
She
probably wouldn't actually do anything to harm Faith. It was him she wanted to
hurt. Taking Faith away from him was the worst damage she could do without
breaking the law herself. People that high up the caste ladder don't have
to break the law; they can use the law to break you.
We'll see who breaks who. We will goddamn well see.
But fantasies of beating Shanks to death quickly
dissipated in the blank white plastic silence of his cell. Sitting hour after
hour in that box of featureless petrochemical, he kept thinking about Kris
Hansen, and what he'd said about the blind god.
Some of what he'd read came back to him, slowly, in
little dribs and drabs over the slow-ticking minutes of his confinement. He was
pretty sure that this blind god was something specific, a title in capital
letters: the Blind God. He seemed to recall that Duncan's book referred to it
as some kind of elvish cultural bogyman, like the Devil, sort of. The Blind God
was supposed to be the most powerful god of humanity, but somehow kinda
invisible; even though nobody knows about it, everybody does what it says
anyway. You could only see it by looking at the things people do
Like
put on silver masks and shove their fingers up your ass, Hari found himself thinking.
Something about those masks—he couldn't quite pin it
down, because he couldn't quite remember exactly what this Blind God thing was
supposed to be all about but whenever he thought about the Blind God, he found
himself picturing the Social Police. And whenever he thought about the Social
Police, he found himself picturing the Blind God. Like Soapy was the Blind
God's face. And Soapy's face is a mirror.
He didn't want to think about that one too closely.
Eventually, his lawyer arrived. He'd never had to
call him at all; Hari's arrest had been the lead story on the newsnets
worldwide. His lawyer had been trying to get in to see him for hours, and the
news he brought was not good.
Because of the caste-weighted rules of testimony in
legal actions, Avery Shanks' affidavit that Faith was her granddaughter became
presumptive evidence, unless Hari could establish otherwise. In addition to the
Forcible Contact Upcaste charges against him, she had filed kidnapping charges
that named Shanna as codefendant. The court had already awarded her temporary
custody of Faith until the case could be brought to trial.
And
there was more bad news: Hari's bail was set at ten million marks. "Ten .
. . million?" Hari repeated, stunned.
His
lawyer shrugged unhappily. "It's a punitive bail. Businessman Shanks
knows you can't afford that much, so she's expecting you to pay a
bondsman."
"Ten
percent, straight out of pocket," Hari said grimly. "One million
marks to get out of jail."
"It's
the threat, Administrator. You threatened her in front of the Social Police;
all four of them recorded it."
Hari nodded to himself "All right. Do this for
me: Make them let me use a screen. Or get my palmpad back. I need to make a
call. Right now."
His
lawyer shrugged. "I'll see what I can do."
Whatever the lawyer did, worked: within a few
minutes, he'd been led out to a screen, allowed to dial a private priority
code, and was on the line with his Patron, Leisureman Marc Vilo.
"Hari!"
Vilo said, bluffly cheerful around the thick butt-end of a smoldering cigar.
"What news, kid?"
Hari
scowled. "I guess you haven't been watching the nets."
"No, I saw it. You've dug yourself a deep
one." There was something disturbing in Vilo's expression: a kind of cold
distance that had settled in around his eyes, a patient reserve as though he
was hiding: waiting in ambush behind a screen of cigar smoke.
"Yeah,"
Hari said. "It's time to start digging back out."
"Sure,
okay," Vilo said. "But what do you want me to do about
it?" "What do I want?" Hari said, incredulous. "I
want you to step on her like a fucking cockroach. What do you think I
want?"
"It's not that simple," Vilo said,
frowning regretfully. "Her legal position sounds pretty strong. Y'know, I
warned you years ago that concealing Faith's real identity was a bad
idea—"
"The
hell you did." What the fuck was going on, here?
"—I
always said it'd come back and bite your ass someday."
"Bullshit,"
Hari said. "Marc, that's a load of shit—you never said a goddamn—"
"Hey,"
Vilo said warningly. "I know you're upset, but watch your mouth."
"What's
wrong with you, Marc? Why are you doing this?"
"Sorry,
kid. I just don't think there's much I can do."
"All
right, fine, whatever," Hari said desperately. "I'll handle Shanks
myself. How about my bail? Can you put up my bail?"
"I
don't think so. As serious as these charges are? I don't think so."
"Marc—"
"I
said no, kid." Vilo stuck his cigar back into his mouth.
"Sorry."
"Yeah?"
Hari said. Tendons stood out in his neck. "You don't look sorry."
Vilo
frowned, squinting through the smoke.
That
high insectile whine was back in Hari's ears, thickening toward thunder.
"What did they give you, Marc?"
"What
are you—"
"You've
been my Patron for thirty years. How much did you get for me, Marc? What
was my price?"
"I didn't want to hit you with this when you're
already down, kid, but I'm not your Patron anymore," Vilo said coldly.
"This afternoon I submitted an Order of Severance. We have no
relationship, you and me."
"What
did they give you? Money? Christ, Marc, you're richer than God already."
"Nobody
gave me any money," Vilo said, waving his cigar impatiently. "I don't
give a shit about money. I don't know what you're talking about."
"What was it then, stock? Voting stock."
For
one second, Vilo didn't move. "That's it, isn't it?" Hari said
grimly. "Let me guess: you sold me for goddamn voting stock in
SynTech." "That's ridiculous. What would I want with SynTech?"
"Yeah,
you're right," Hari said slowly. "That's not real power. You'd go for
the real power. Voting stock in the Overworld Company. In the Studio."
Vilo didn't say anything, but he didn't have to;
Hari could read the truth in his eyes. The real enormity of what was happening
to him roared within his head like a funnel cloud dipping toward his life.
Numb, stunned, Hari said, "No, I got it: They gave you a seat on the
Board. You're on the Board of fucking Governors."
"Hari,
these paranoid fantasies—"
"I hope it's worth it, Marc. I hope you think
it's worth it. I hope you still think it's worth it on the day when you
and me, we meet somewhere dark and quiet. When I show you exactly what it is
you just bought."
"Hari—"
Hari
hit the cutoff, and the screen went dead.
Look
on the bright side, he told
himself. Shit can't get much worse.
4
Hari stepped out of the cab at the Abbey's front
lawn. He moved away, to be out of the cab's backblast as it lifted off, and the
unfamiliar weight of the Microsoft Mantrak bracelet around his ankle made him
limp a little more than usual. The Mantrak was designed with similar circuitry
to a palmpad: as long as he wore the bracelet, the Micronet satellites
could track his position to within a meter anywhere on Earth. As the soapy had
dispassionately explained to him when it was locked around his ankle, to deactivate
or attempt to remove the Mantrak would automatically register a forfeit of his
bail and make him liable to further charges of flight from justice. The cab
lifted off in a stinging cloud of sand, and Hari stood for a moment, looking at
his bail.
The
Abbey loomed over him, a black hulk against the stars, every window dark except
for the kitchen's.
By pledging every asset he had—all his savings, his
investments, Faith's education fund, the cars, all his Caine memorabilia, the
royalties from all of Caine's Adventures, and the Abbey itself—he had covered
the ten mil-lion marks. Barely.
He looked up at his house—this house he had built
twenty years ago, just after Caine had cracked the Top Ten. He remembered
standing in this very spot and watching its timber skeleton rise from the
knoll; real wood in the Abbey's walls had cost an extra million, but he'd never
regretted it.
He remembered walking through its empty rooms,
remembered the echoes its bare walls had reflected, remembered how it had
seemed like a palace, a fairy-tale dream castle of happy endings. He remembered
the satisfaction of registering its name with the San Francisco Entertainment
Commission, so it would be listed on their star maps. He remembered the day
Shanna moved in—and the day she moved out—and all the laughter, the sullen
sulks, shouting matches, and sweaty sex in between.
He remembered coming home after For Love of
Pallas Ril, before his bypass, floating across the threshold in his
levichair, finding the moving company there to load all of Shanna's possessions
back into the house once more. He remembered the day his father's sentence had
been officially commuted, and Duncan had been released from the Mute Facility
at the Buchanan Social Camp—the day his father came home to the home he'd never
seen.
He
remembered thinking that he'd finally found his happy ending.
He shook his head and walked toward the spill of
yellow light across the side lawn. His stomach was a little shaky, and he felt
unsteady in his balance, as though a mild temblor shifted the ground beneath
his feet. Psychosomatic, he told himself, just a reaction to walking
without Rover whirring at his heels. The Social Police couldn't be bothered to
transport his wheelchair; it was still down in L.A. Funny—much as he'd always
hated the goddamn thing, he really missed it right now.
It'd be nice to have something waiting to catch him
as he fell.
Bradlee, Duncan's nurse, was waiting for him at the
kitchen door. Be fore Hari could even get inside, Bradlee started
yammering about the Social Police and SynTech security and how they'd barged in
and taken all Faith's clothes, and her toys, and impounded all the photoprints
and vacation cubes, and rifled the office, and pulled all the books off the
shelves and taken backups of all the memory cores and this and that and every
other goddamn thing until Hari wanted to smack him one just to shut him up for
half a second. When he finally stopped for breath, Hari said, "How's
Dad?"
Bradlee
blinked. "He's fine," he said reflexively. "Well, you know, not fine,
but about usual—"
"How'd
he take it? You kept him away from the soapies, didn't you? You didn't let him
talk in front of them?"
"Please,
Admin—uh, Hari," Bradlee said. "They searched his room, but I took
away his digivoder until they left. I'm not a fool."
"Yeah,
I know. That's why I hired you."
"I
think he's still angry with me," Bradlee offered confidentially. "He
really wanted to give the Social Police a piece of his mind."
"Yeah,
no shit. And they would have taken it. All of it. His fucking body, too,"
Hari said grimly. "Thanks, Brad."
Bradlee accepted this with a nod, as if to say he'd
only been doing his job. "Are you hungry? I've put Duncan on his drip, and
I was about to have a snack; it's no trouble to make extra."
Hari
shook his head. "Is he lucid?"
Bradlee
shrugged noncommittally. "He's been in and out all day. The drip should
help. You'll look in on him?"
Hari
nodded.
"Good.
He's a little shaken up." Bradlee coughed apologetically into his hand.
"We both are."
"Yeah."
Duncan's room was just off the kitchen, small and
dark like a cave, with the flickering screen on his traveling bed's armtable
for a campfire. Hari stopped in the hall. Going into Duncan's room was never
easy—that powerful back-of-the-throat scorch of antiseptic couldn't quite cover
the fermenting shit in his relief bag, or the dark rot that seemed to ooze out
of his pores.
The only light in Duncan's room was the screen's
cold shifting glow. He lay in his traveling bed like a broken puppet, head
lolling bonelessly, veins twisting across his hairless scalp. One arm lay limp
on the rumpled sheet; the other was strapped along the armtable to keep his
hand in the digivoder. The convertible bed was raised, and he was strapped into
it to hold him up in roughly a sitting position. An W bag hung from a rack
over his head, its line plugged into the socket that had been surgically
installed in the hollow of his collarbone. The only indication that he was
alive was the slow roll of his eyeballs, back and forth like lopsided marbles.
Hari couldn't make himself go in. He couldn't make
himself speak. What could he say? What could he tell his father that wouldn't
come out of his mouth as a raw scream of pain?
Oh, Faith ... Hari sagged against the wall and covered his eyes with his hand.
Something rose in his throat that felt dangerously like a sob; at the last
second he forced it to become a cough. Ah, gods, he thought helplessly. How
am I gonna live through this?
In the same instant, he hated himself fora selfish
bastard; here he was, whining about how much he hurt, while Faith was
trapped by people who thought of her only as a weapon against him
He gritted his teeth and clenched his burning eyes
shut, determined that no tear should leak through to his face. Shit, Faith's
probably handling this better than I am, he told himself. She's not
alone. As long as Pallas Ril walked the fields of Overworld, Faith was
never alone.
The
mechanized voice from Duncan's digivoder croaked, "Hari. You. All
right?"
Hari took a deep, shuddering breath and rubbed his eyes.
Duncan's face had rolled toward him, and his glazed eyes held a hint of
sanity. Funny how much more human Duncan's digivoder sounded, once he'd had a
chance to compare it to the voices of the Social Police.
"Yeah, Dad, I'm okay," he said slowly.
"I'm just kind of tired, that's all."
A thin line of drool trailed from Duncan's slack
lips. The muscles in his strapped-down forearm rippled; the digivoder glove
that enclosed his hand translated the nerve impulses into digitized speech. "Tough.
Day. Remember. Keep. Your head. Down. Inch. Toward daylight."
Hari
smiled with a sort of nostalgic melancholy; this was the best advice he'd ever
gotten. "Yeah. You should make that a macro."
"I. Will. Come in. Sit. Talk."
Hari sighed. He wished he could confide in his
father; wished he could tell him everything that seemed to be happening; wished
he could ask him for advice more pointed and specific than keep your head
down and inch toward daylight.
But Hari couldn't say what was on his mind. Those
SynTech goons had probably seeded the entire fucking house with microrecorders,
and even if they hadn't, there would be a lot of Social Police traffic through
here in the next few weeks. And Duncan had nearly ended his life under a
sedition sentence in the Mute Facility of the Buchanan Social Camp for one
over-powering reason: he had never learned to shut up.
But
there was something Hari had wanted to ask his father about, he reminded
himself It should be a safe enough subject.
"Yeah, y'know?" Hari said, forcing himself
to walk into the room, breathing shallowly as though that might keep the stink
of madness at bay. "Somebody was talking about the Blind God today—you
know, that elvish bogyman? Didn't you write something about it, once? It's in Tales,
isn't it?"
"Chapter.
Twelve. Or thirteen. Why?"
"It's
kinda hard to explain. It stuck with me, that's all. I couldn't stop thinking
about it."
Duncan's gaze twisted out of focus, and his mouth
twitched spastically, releasing another foamy wad of drool. Hari pulled a
tissue from the nightstand box and gently mopped his father's chin. At his
touch, the focus in Duncan's eyes returned. "Was this. While. Soapies.
Had you?"
Hari
jerked like he'd been stabbed with a straight pin. "How—how—" he
stammered incredulously. "How did you know?"
Duncan
looked up at him past his hairless eyebrows. "Crazy," his
digivoder rasped. "Not. Stupid."
"Yeah,
Dad, I know, but—"
"Nets.
All day. Been. Watching. Overworld. Shanna. HRVP. Social. Police." He snorted as though his nose might be dripping. "Makes.
Sense." "Not to me."
"Get.
Tales. Read. Know Your. Enemy."
Hari
leaned over the bed to turn the screen toward him. "Here, I'll just call
it up."
Duncan lifted his strengthless free hand and let his
arm fall across Hari's. "Not. Netbook," the digivoder rasped. "Book
book book Netbook. Edited. Stupid. Kid."
He
waved his twisted hand toward a small bookshelf under the window seat, pointing
with the back of his wrist. "Book book book"
"All
right, all right, I get the picture." Hari circled the bed, sat, and
pulled the hardbound Tales of the First Folk off the shelf.
He skimmed through the chapter, through all the
different stories about the Quiet Land and the Blind God; with just a phrase
here and there to spark his memory, he found the stories came back to him more
powerfully than he'd expected. He hadn't read the book in probably thirty
years—not since school. Who'd have guessed this crap would stick with him?
The
Quiet Land read like a version of an Eden myth: a land of peace, where the
elves could live without fear of dragons, where there were no savage ogrilloi
or krr'x hives, no vampires or demons. All the creatures of the Quiet Land were
without speech or magick; the elves used it as a sort of nursery school, a
playland for their children, since even the most rudimentary command of magick
rendered them godlike by comparison.
The elves could go to the Quiet Land from Home—T'nnalldion,
the "Living Place," the elvish name for Overworld—through dillin,
which roughly translates as gates. The dillin apparently were
certain hills, certain ponds, some caves, occasionally grottoes or even forest
glades where the physical terrain of the two lands was precisely identical; no
matter how different the surrounding topography, the dillin matched. The
dillin were said to be part of both places at the same time, and in the
vicinity of a dil, an elf could still draw upon the Flow of Home.
In the Quiet Land, the elves found a coarse, brutish
race of "wild elves"—short-lived creatures who had no skill with
magick, who could not even see the Flow. These ferals, as they were called,
became popular pets and work animals; they were very strong, and clever, and
could even learn to speak. Though they could become dangerous if badly handled,
they were extremely loyal to masters who treated them well. Many were brought
back to Home, and inevitably some ran away and formed packs in the wilderness.
Because of their brief lives, they were exceptionally fecund, breeding by the
million in just a few short centuries; soon the ferals had become powerful in
their own right.
Hari
nodded to himself. This was all familiar territory: the elvish myth of how
humans came to Overworld.
He began to come across the references to the Blind
God. It was never represented directly; there was never a description of its
appearance, or its powers, or its motives. As near as Hari could make out, it
seemed to be some kind of shadow force driving everything the ferals did that
elves didn't like, from clearing land for farms to building roads, from raising
cities to waging war. All this kind of stuff was called "feeding the Blind
God."
It was the Blind God that had chased the elves out
of the Quiet Land a millennium ago; as the feral population burgeoned, the
Blind God had become a power the elves could not counter. They fled the Quiet
Land and closed the dillin. Hari came to the end of the chapter and
shrugged. "I don't get it," he said. "This's got nothing to do
with HRVP and the Social Police."
"Yes. It does. If Quiet Land. Is. Earth."
Hari sighed. "Are you gonna start that shit
again?"
He knew from public records on the net that Duncan
had published a monograph just over forty years ago claiming that Overworld was
in fact the place that human legends call Faerie, and that the humans of
Overworld are descended from changelings. The monograph claimed that Westerling
was an Indo-European language derived from Frankish, Middle English, and
Old High German; it claimed that the human culture of Overworld so closely
mirrors late medieval Europe because it was created by men and women who'd been
born there, or who were descended from people who had. That monograph was
regarded in academic circles as having been the first overt sign of Duncan's
fast-approaching breakdown.
"Not. Shit. Read. Commentary. Read."
"Dad—"
"Read. Stupid. Kid."
Hari sighed again, and opened the book to Duncan's
end-of-chapter commentary.
Clearly, the "Blind God" is a conscious,
deliberately anthropomorphic metaphor for the most threatening facet of human
nature: our self-destroying lust to use, to conquer, to enslave every tiniest
bit of existence and turn it to our own profit, amplified and synergized by our
herd-animal instinct—our perverse greed for tribal homogeneity.
It is a good metaphor, a powerful metaphor, one that
for me makes a certain sense not only of Overworld's history, but of Earth's.
It provides a potent symbolic context for the industrial wasteland of modern
Europe, for the foul air and toxic deserts that are North America: they are
table scraps left behind after the Blind God has fed.
Structured by the organizing metaprinciple of the
"Blind God," the Manifest Destiny madness of humanity makes a kind of
sense—it has a certain inevitability, instead of being the pointless,
inexplicable waste it has always appeared.
Hari gave a low whistle. "You published this?
I'm surprised Soapy didn't bust you on the spot!'
"Before. Your. Birth. Things. Were.
Looser." He sagged for a
moment, and his eyes drifted closed, as though the effort had exhausted him,
but the digivoder's impersonal tone never changed. "Keep.
Reading."
Hari reopened the book.
The "Blind God" is not a personal god, not
a god like Yahweh or Zeus, stomping out the grapes of wrath, hurling
thunderbolts at the infidel. The Blind God is a force: like hunger, like
ambition.
It is a mindless groping toward the slightest
increase in comfort. It is the greatest good for the greatest number, when the
only number that counts is the number of human beings living right now. I
think of the Blind God as a tropism, an autonomic response that turns humanity
toward destructive expansion the way a plant's leaves turn toward the sun.
It is
the shared will of the human race.
You can see it everywhere. On the one hand, it
creates empires, dams rivers, builds cities—on the other, it clear-cuts
forests, sets fires, poisons wetlands. It gives us vandalism: the
quintessentially human joy of breaking things.
Some
will say that this is only human nature.
To
which I respond: Yes, it is. But we must wonder why it is.
Consider: From where does this behavior arise? What
is the evolutionary advantage conferred by this instinct? Why is it instinctive
for human beings to treat the world like an object?
We treat our planet as an enemy, to be crushed,
slaughtered, plundered. Raped. Everything is opposition—survival of the fittest
on the Darwinian battlefield. Whatever isn't our slave is our potential
destroyer. We kill and kill and kill and tell ourselves it is self-defense, or
even less: that we need the money, we need the jobs that ruthless
destruction temporarily provides.
We
even treat each other that way.
"Holy
crap, Dad," Hari said incredulously. "How did I miss this? How did Soapy
miss this?"
"Edited.
Out. Not. In netbook. Never. Trust. Electronic. Text." "You got that right."
The magickal races of Overworld—the primals, the
stonebenders, and treetoppers—they can feel their connection to the
living structure of their world. This is why they have never developed
organized religions in the human sense; their gods are not objects of worship,
but only of respect, of kinship. An Overworld god isn't an individual, a
unitary Power to be appeased or conjured; it is a limb of the living planet, a
knot of consciousness within the Lifemind, just as is each primal or
stonebender or treetopper—each sparrow or blade of grass. They are all part of
the same Life, and they know it.
They
cannot avoid knowing it; Flow is as essential to their metabolism as is oxygen.
The
tragedy of humanity is that we are as much a part of our living planet as any
primal mage is of his. We just don't know it. We can't feel it. The First
Folk have a name for our incapacity—for our tragic blindness.
They
call it the Veil of the Blind God, and they pity us.
Hari closed the book and weighed it in his hand. He
felt a little breathless, as though the world pressed in upon his chest. He
thought of one of Duncan's sayings, one Duncan must have repeated to him a
hundred times when he was a kid:
A religion that teaches you God is something outside the world—something separate from
everything you see, smell, taste, touch, and hear—is nothing but a cheap
hustle.
Now, for the first time, he thought he had some clue
what Duncan had been talking about. The elves had a different way of looking at
things, no question about it—"But all this, it's just a metaphor,
right?" Hari said. "I mean, you wrote it yourself: the Blind God is a
metaphor."
Duncan's
eyes rolled madly, but the digivoder's voice was relentlessly
steady.
"Maybe. A powerful. Enough. Metaphor. Grows. Its own. Truth." "Huh,"
Hari grunted skeptically. "So where do the Social Police fit in?"
Duncan made a dry hacking sound that might have been laughter.
"Inquisition."
"You
mean, like the Spanish Inquisition?"
Duncan didn't answer. He didn't have to. After what
Hari had been through this afternoon, he didn't need much convincing. "So,
you're saying this Blind God has like, polished off Earth, and now it's hungry
for Overworld?"
"Studio.
Like. Sense organ. Find out. If Overworld. Tastes good." "That's another metaphor, right?" Hari
asked. "Right?"
"Probably."
Hari
sat in that chair by his father's side, weighing the book in his hand, for a
long, long time.
Finally,
he said, "But why HRVP? It's kind of a blunt instrument, huh? Why do
something that . . . catastrophic?"
Duncan
grunted wordlessly, and the digivoder chanted, "Because. It worked. So
well. On Earth."
Hari rubbed his stinging eyes. Any other day, he
would have laughed this off and gone to bed. Duncan was crazy; he'd been
getting progressively crazier for forty years. Here's crazy for you: he sounded
like he really believed this shit. I'd ask him if he does, Hari thought,
but what difference would the answer make? He's either crazy and he doesn't
believe it, or he's crazy and he does.
Either
way, he's crazy.
His internal debate was interrupted by the low
murmur of the Abbey's house computer, its hidden speakers digitally phased 'to
sound like it spoke from just behind his left shoulder. "Hari: perimeter
alert. An unauthorized vehicle is landing on the front lawn."
Hari's
stomach dropped like his whole life had gone into freefall. "Abbey:
identify unauthorized vehicle. Execute."
"Hari:
the unauthorized vehicle self-identifies as a Social Police.detention
van."
Hari
looked at the book in his hand, and flinched like it had burned him. He stuck
it back into the bookcase spine-first.
On
the other hand, he thought numbly, being
crazy doesn't necessarily make him wrong.
5
Hari leaned nervelessly against the jamb of the
Abbey's front door, staring blankly out into the sky while the Social Police
prepared to load Duncan, traveling bed and all, into the back of the detention
van. Bradlee said something from beside him, but Hari couldn't hear him over
the roar in his ears: the sound of his life going down in flames. His hand
opened, and the crumpled hardcopy of the warrant fluttered to the marble-slab
floor.
He should have seen this coming.
Fucking Vilo‑
The bastard had ratted him out.
He'd turned over Hari's books to the Social Police,
the sensitive ones he'd kept in his vault on his Sangre de Cristo estate. As a
Leisureman, his affidavit certifying that he'd received the sealed boxes from
Hari with no knowledge of their content was weighted heavily enough to be
accepted prima facie by a Social Court judge. So Hari now had an added charge
of possession of Banned material.
The secondary effect of this, Vilo probably hadn't
even anticipated: it had only taken the Social Police a couple hours to find a
judge who would reinstate Duncan's sentence for sedition. Hari couldn't blame
Vilo for that; it was no one's fault but his own. He should have burned those
fucking books. Duncan wouldn't go to the Buke this time.
He would go under the yoke.
The Buchanan Social Camp required upkeep payments
for its in-mates, with a hefty deposit. They wouldn't accept Hari's pledge, and
he had no credit, no asset he could offer; every goddamn mark he had was tied
up in his bail. "How long?" he murmured. "How long do you think
he has?"
Bradlee
shook his head. "He probably won't even survive the cyborg
conversion."
"Yeah."
"If he survives the operation, though, who
knows? He can't do anything physical; they'll probably hardwire him for data
processing. He might live for years." Bradlee coughed apologetically.
"Not that you'd, uh, want him to, y'know. Not like that ..
"Yeah,"
Hari said. "Yeah, I know."
He
leaned on the doorjamb, paralyzed. He couldn't decide who to kill first:
Shanks, or Vilo, or himself.
Out on the lawn, Duncan rolled his head toward Hari.
He couldn't speak—his digivoder lay in splinters on the floor of his room,
crushed under a soapy's boot heel—but he could wave his twisted, crippled hand.
He touched it to his head, made a weak patting motion, then he walked his
fingers arthritically along the gleaming chrome bedrail. Hari got the message: Keep
your head down, and inch toward daylight.
His
vision swam with tears.
The van's doors closed around Duncan like jaws. The
soapies sealed the doors and climbed into the cabin, and the van lifted off
Hari watched it shrink to a rippling liquid dot in the night sky.
"Good-bye, Dad," he whispered.
I guess I'm kind of invulnerable, now, he
thought numbly. There just isn't anything left for them to take from me,
except my life.
My
life? They can have it.
"I,
uh ..." Bradlee began uncomfortably. "Can you give me a few days, a
week, to find a place?"
Hari
frowned at him, and Bradlee dropped his gaze uncertainly. "I mean,"
he said slowly, "I guess I'm kind of out of a job, huh?"
"Yeah,"
Hari said. He had no room left in his heart for Bradlee's problems. "I
guess you are."
Head
down, Bradlee walked slowly back toward the kitchen.
Hari hissed at himself, softly through his teeth. No
reason to take this out on the nurse; Bradlee had looked after Duncan for
years, had really cared for him. Hari called after him, "Brad—stay as long
as you need. I mean, shit, I'd hire you to look after the house, but—" He
spread his hands helplessly, and shrugged. "—I just realized I can't pay your
salary."
"Thanks,"
he said softly. "Thanks, Hari. You sure you don't want something to
eat?"
Hari
closed his eyes; the thought of putting food into his mouth clenched his
stomach like somebody had reached into his guts and made a fist. "Not
tonight. I'm gonna go upstairs and get friendly with a bottle of scotch."
Bradlee
nodded silently and disappeared into the kitchen.
Hari
stood in the Abbey's front hall for a long time, listening to the silence.
Bradlee might as well have been already gone; everyone else was. Faith. Duncan.
Shanna.
Caine.
Cold marble-slab floor, classically austere sweep of
stair to the second-floor balcony, rich burgundy runner—everything here he knew
so well; he'd dreamed this place for so many years before he'd built it that it
was forever graved into his brain. He'd never dreamed it would be so empty.
It hasn't even been twenty-four hours, he thought in blank awe. A day ago, his worst
problems had been a cranky bypass, creaky legs, and a bad attitude.
My
god
He
wondered if his chest would implode into the stark unforgiving lack inside.
My
god, what have I done?
From
behind his left shoulder the Abbey murmured, "Hari: priority screen
call."
Hari walked reflexively to the nearest wallscreen
and hit the acknowledge. He never considered refusing the call; he felt a
strange, abstract gratitude to whomever this might be, for distracting him from
the wreckage of his life.
It
was Tan'elKoth.
Probably
calling to gloat, Hari thought
dully.
The ex-Emperor wore a black sweater, over which
gleamed the metalized straps of his ammod harness. "Caine," he said
darkly, "you must come to me immediately, here at the Curioseum."
"This
isn't a good time for me."
"There
will be no better time for you. There will be no time at all. Come. Now"
"I'm telling you ..." Hari let his voice
trail off, and he frowned. "Did you say, at the Curioseum? If
you're at the Curioseum, why are you wearing the ammod harness?"
"For the same reason that you must come here now.
You conscripted me for your war, Caine. I must speak with you before I
become its latest casualty—and I have little time."
"What
. . . ? I mean, I don't get it," Hari said. His brain felt like an old
rusty engine, groaning as it tried to turn over.
Tan'elKoth's
eyes smoldered darkly. "How much do you want me to say over an open line into
your home?"
Hari thought of the crowd of Social Police and
SynTech security that had tramped through here this afternoon, and he nodded.
"I understand," he said, "but—"
"No,"
Tan'elKoth rumbled. "Come now. It is a matter of life and death.
Mine—and Pallas Ril's."
Hari
squeezed his eyes shut and took a long, slow, painful breath. "I'm on my
way," he said. "I'll be at the South Gate in ten minutes."
6
Starkly sidelit by the emergency lights, the
exhibition halls of the Curioseum had become eerie, alien caverns of moon-black
shadows and bleaching glare. Tan'elKoth paced ahead of him with the ponderous
threat of a hovertank, his thick-soled athletic shoes silent on the polished
floor tiles. The only sound was the click of Hari's boot heels, echoing crisply
from distant walls of cement and stone. His arms prickled with gooseflesh.
This shit was creeping him out.
It gnawed at the pit of his stomach: everything
looked so wrong, here. And it wasn't just the stippled wash of emergency
lighting through the dirty armorglass panels; it wasn't just that none of the
displays activated when they passed through the halls; it wasn't even the blank
silence, deeper than you could ever really hear on Earth, left behind by the absence
of the ventilation system's constant whisper.
He'd
never seen the inside of the Curioseum from the eye-level of a standing man.
The
simple fact that he could, for the first time in his life, walk through
these rooms left him breathless with irrational dread.
At the South Gate, he hadn't been able to make
himself come in. He'd stood in the doorway, shaking his head. Sure, Tan'elKoth said
the ON field was off—he said his mindview showed not even the trace amounts
of Flow that should have been visible—but Rover was still down in fucking Los
Angeles. Shit, the Fancon people had probably already auctioned it off.
"Why would the field be off?" Hari had asked. "And what's wrong
with the power?"
Tan'elKoth's reply had been an exasperated glower. "You
are the damned Chairman," he'd rumbled savagely. "If you
don't know, how should I? Follow me."
Hari had a lot of trouble convincing himself to step
into the gate. He knew, he just knew, that when he took one more
step into the Curioseum he would collapse, crippled and helpless, at
Tan'elKoth's feet. Tan'elKoth had been as sympathetic as Hari had come to
expect. "Fine, then. Let her die," he'd said coldly, then had turned
and walked away.
A second later, Hari had followed him. But still he
could not get comfortable with walking where he had always rolled.
Ahead, Tan'elKoth turned down the gallery that led
toward the Caine Hall and his own apartment. Hari paced in his wake, listening
to the echoes and rubbing his forearms to make the hairs on them lie down
again. "Are you ever—" he began, whispering instinctively. He caught
himself and coughed—some bitter, chemical tang tickled his throat—then repeated
loudly, "Are you ever gonna tell me what this is about?"
Tan'elkoth stopped, his back a wide black wall that
seemed to half close off the gallery. "Can you not smell it?"
That chemical smell, the one that coated the inside
of his nose, his mouth, his throat—he recognized it. It was the preservative
gas from Berne's display case ... but thicker, stronger, far more dense. Until
now, he'd never smelled it until he was right up next to the case. The back of
his neck prickled.
He leaned out so he could peer around Tan'elKoth's
broad back; he dreaded what he knew he would see, but he had to look.
Berne's case was empty. It stood on its pedestal in
the archway of the exhibition hall, vacant as a corpse's eyes.
Hari's bowels dissolved into ice water that drained
into his legs. He couldn't move, couldn't speak—he was afraid to turn his head,
because he knew with irrational certainty that as soon as he looked, he'd find
Berne waiting for him, standing in the shadows with Kosall poised to strike,
and he'd collapse and start to scream like a stolen baby.
Dead is dead, Hari told himself. He'd jammed a knife through the top of Berne's skull
and scrambled the bastard's brains: You don't get any deader than that.
After repeating this to himself a few times, he
found that he could breathe again. When he finally decided he could trust his
voice, he said, "All right. I've seen it. Now tell me what it means. Who
would steal Berne's body?"
Tan'elKoth turned, half his face bleached white in
the emergency lights, the other half lost in shadow. "Studio security.
Your own secmen, Caine."
Hari winced. He didn't like this already, and he
knew it was going to get worse.
Tan'elKoth went on. "I was engaged in my usual
research this evening after closing, developing a new lesson for my
Applied Magick seminar, when I heard the noise of what turned out to be five
secmen opening this case. I enquired what they were doing—perfectly
innocently, I might add, I had assumed they were acting upon your orders. Their
response was to place me under arrest and hold me incommunicado in the security
office detention center until perhaps half an hour ago."
"When you called me."
"Yes."
Tan'elKoth moved slowly, almost meditatively, down
the long gallery and stopped in front of the empty case. He pressed one
enormous hand against the armorglass, like a lover waving good-bye through a
car window, and bent his head for a moment as though weary, or in pain. As Hari
joined him there, Tan'elKoth turned and seated himself on the case's pedestal,
leaned his forearms on his knees, and folded his hands.
"My first thought," Tan'elKoth said,
"was that this was some stroke of yours—some plot to wound me by a further
desecration of the corpse of my most faithful servant. As if what you have done
to him already were not enough."
"Hey,
don't try to splash me with that shit," Hari said. "Putting his body
on display was Wes Turner's idea."
"A puerile evasion," he said darkly.
"This crime was an act of the company that employs you. You cannot
exculpate yourself by claiming the boss made me do it. The nature of
your masters has never been a mystery to you, yet you have continued to take
their money and enjoy the borrowed status they lend to you. You are as guilty
as they."
"You're gonna debate morality with me?
You? You're the only sonofabitch I ever met who's murdered more people than I have,"
Hari said through his teeth. "What about the body?"
"Yes." He met Hari's gaze with a level
stare. "No long interval passed before I realized this could not be your
doing. You are a walking catastrophe of Biblical proportion; this type of
petty, emotionally wounding revenge has never been your style."
"I
don't give a rat's ass how you knew it wasn't me. I already know it
wasn't me, goddammit. Who was it?"
"This is not the central question; the thieves
were Studio secmen, acting upon orders from above. Who gave those orders is
peripheral—a mere detail. The central question is for what would they want
it?"
Hari ground his teeth together and resisted the
impulse to break the bastard's nose again. "Tan'elKoth," he said
tightly, "on my best days, I'm not a patient man. This is not one of my
best days. Drop the fucking games."
"Just so." He rose, towering over Hari,
starkly outlined against the emergency floodlight. "I can tell you
precisely why the Studio would take Berne's body."
"Christ, I hope so."
"They intend to use him to kill Pallas
Ril."
Looking up into Tan'elKoth's black-shadowed face,
Hari could feel the strength leaving his knees as though it trickled out a pair
of spigots on his heels. "I don't understand," he said numbly.
"I found it obvious." Tan'elKoth walked
away again, into the Caine Hall, heading for his apartment door. "Berne
was stolen by the Studio. Pallas Ril is the only obstacle to the success of the
Studio's plans for my world."
His voice boomed off the walls of stone. "Berne
was the finest swords-man of his age—perhaps of any age. Combat skill—like any
other physical skill, even walking and talking—is a matter of reflex
conditioning. An animated corpse of Berne would still have the skills of a
superior swordsman, even without the higher cognitive functions that govern
tactics. And, of course, they also took Kosall."
Hari,
following, had to stop suddenly: his back ached fiercely at that name.
The scene, the wax-figure diorama in the middle of this
hall, was of that moment on the sand of Victory Stadium, on that hot Ankhanan
noon seven years ago. High above, figures of Ma'elKoth and Pallas Ril were
locked in deific combat. In the center of the display, Caine brandished a pair
of knives while he leaped onto the unstoppable point of the sword in Berne's
hand.
If the Curioseum had had power, the scene would have
been lit by the white blaze that would radiate from the figure of Pallas Ril.
Here in black-shadowed semidarkness, the scene had an eerie, nightmarish life.
Darkness hid the wires; for a disorienting, hallucinatory second, Hari wasn't
sure whether he was the one standing out here looking at the display or if he
was the leaping figure within it.
—and for a moment he could feel again that harsh
buzzing in his teeth from Kosall's vibrating edge when the blade had slid,
smooth as butter, through his spine
He rubbed his head as though he could massage
meaning in through his skull, and he snarled at himself to pull it together.
"An animated corpse—?"
Tan'elKoth stopped at his doorway and sighed like an
exasperated professor. "Must I forge every single link in this chain of
reasoning? Here then, simply: Pallas Ril—Chambaraya—is a god of life. No living
thing can ap proach her undetected, however it may be concealed. If, on
the other hand, a potent magickal weapon is borne by, shall we say, an unliving
thing ... ? Need I say more?"
The face of the wax Berne above him seemed to shift
in the black wash of shadow. The glass eyes glittered with malice; they seemed
to turn from the figure of the wax Caine before it and fix upon Pallas Ril high
above. In that final instant the most famous sequence of the most famous Studio
Adventure of all time—Caine had thrown himself upon Berne's sword, for that was
his only hope of saving Pallas Ril.
Hari's chest ached with helpless rage.
Sure, he
thought. Sure, that makes sense.
The people behind this could have chosen any random
corpse for their weapon; they wouldn't even need to dig one up—they could lease
one from the Working Dead in Ankhana's Warrens. But instead, they took
Berne. So Hari would know it was coming.
So he'd know there was nothing he could do to stop
it.
Back in the bad old days, when he and Shanna hadn't
been able to open their mouths to each other without sparking a shouting match,
she had constantly accused him of being obsessively self-absorbed; she liked to
tell him that something or other isn't about you. Not everything in the
bloody world is about you!
Yeah,
maybe not he thought. But this
is. I don't know why, or how, but you can't get away from it. This is about
me.
He'd
been told: the greatest skill of the successful Administrator is to know when
to do nothing.
Just like Dad: I can't fucking learn to shut up.
"I am no great admirer of Pallas Ril, as you
know," Tan'elKoth said as he fished out his keys—the ON field disabled
palmlocks as efficiently as it did Hari's bypass; all the Curioseum's interior
doors had Overworld-style manual locks with physical keys. "Nonetheless,
she is the sole shield between my Children and the masters of this ... this
death cult you call a Studio. Is there anything you can do?"
Hari shook his head, mouth twisted against a taste
of metal and bitter ash. "If I can get a message to her, somehow ... She
can handle pretty much anything if she knows it's coming." He turned up
his palms helplessly. "But the Studio is gonna be ahead of me on this,
too."
He could taste defeat already. He had been hit too
hard, from too many directions at once. He'd lost already.
She would die.
Standing
at the freemod dock: You get in trouble over there this time, I can't come
and bail you out.
How had he ended up so useless, and so guilty?
His head hammered; he pressed the heel of his hand to
his temple and squeezed shut his eyes. It felt like a steel band ratcheted
tighter and tighter around his skull: at any second the bone would crack and
his brains would squirt out his eye sockets.
"I shall do what I can, but first—"
Tan'elKoth circled a hand at the particolored light and shadow of the
power-dead Curioseum. "—I must find a place to stay. The power cells in
these harnesses of yours are not inexhaustible. Amplitude decay is—as you have
reminded me many times—an ugly way to die."
"Where will you go?"
Tan'elKoth shrugged. "My art has garnered
admirers among the Leisurefolk—some few of them have ON vaults not unlike the
one you maintain at the Abbey, only larger, to hold collections of artifacts
brought to Earth by Actors that they sponsor. I am certain one or more can be
persuaded to accommodate me until this—" Again, the circular gesture.
"—situation can be resolved."
He
turned to the door to his apartment. "Once I have my spare harness, I will
be off."
He
pushed the door open—and every light in the Curioseum burst to life.
Hari jumped as though the sudden glare was a stroke
of nearby lightning. Overhead, the figure of Pallas Ril blazed like a fusion
torch, and the simulated power of the simulated Ma'elKoth became a jet of fire
that joined them breast to breast. Hari clenched his teeth until the stuttering
of his heart settled into a steady rhythm. "Looks like you won't have to
move after all," he said.
"Don't
be an idiot," Tan'elKoth said as he disappeared within his apartment.
Hari
went to the door. "But with the power back on—"
Tan'elKoth
stood at his desk, his back to Hari. "You're still walking." His
voice was rich with dark-roasted contempt.
"Huh."
Hari scowled thoughtfully as he paced through the door. "That doesn't make
any goddamn sense."
The Curioseum's ON field generator was hardwired
into the Studio grid—which was energized by the Studio's transfer pump. It
should have been impossible for the power to be on down here without the field
returning as well.
In fact, there was no reason why the damn power
should have been off in the first place. There were backup generators, and as a
third failsafe the Curioseum would self-connect to San Francisco's civic
grid—the Curioseum's collection was irreplaceable, and much of it would vanish
into amplitude decay in goddamn short order if the field didn't come back up.
If he hadn't been distracted by all the shit that had hit him today, he would
have seen it already: the only reason to turn off the power was to turn off the
ON field.
But why would somebody want to do that? Was he just
being paranoid, or did this smell of enemy action? It's not whether I'm
paranoid, he thought. It's whether I'm paranoid enough.
Now, with the power back on, but still no field
Hari frowned down at the floor. "What's this
crap?"
Tan'elKoth's athletic shoes had left tracks, faint
but definite, even across the area rug that defined his "living
room"—slipper shapes where his tread had disturbed some kind of fine
silvery dust that was spread all over the floor and the furniture, like
pesticide left behind by a careless exterminator. "What the hell is this
dust?" Hari asked Tan'elKoth's back. "You working in marble these
days?"
"Mmm," Tan'elKoth agreed distractedly,
while he thumbed through an old-fashioned bound-paper address book he'd pulled
from a drawer of his desk. "But this is not marble dust—my pneumatic
chisel has a vacuum hose that's vented to the outside. There are several fairly
serious varieties of lung damage, as well as systemic disturbances, that are
caused by the inhalation of marble dust; even with the hose, I wear a
self-contained breathing apparatus while I work. Ah, there he is," he said
smugly, holding his place in the address book with one sausage-sized finger.
"Rentzi Dole. He has several of my pieces, and has invited me to Kauai on
any number of occasions. And—most important—he is no friend of this
Studio."
Hari's answering nod was equally distracted. He knew
all about Leisureman Dole—his late aunt had been Shanna's Patron for many
years. Rentzi Dole was one of Hari's least favorite people; the Leisureman had
defied the explicit terms of his aunt's will and terminated Shanna's patronage.
Hari had something else on his mind: a thought that
was beginning to take shape, still misty around the edges, kind of foggily
inchoate as it organized itself--his brain wasn't accustomed to doing this kind
of work anymore. "Uh, Tan'elKoth?" Hari began uncertainly. Why
would someone have the power on but the ON field off?
Clearly, they wanted to run some kind of equipment
that requires both power and Earth-normal physics. Something electronic. Like a
deskscreen. "Tan'elKoth," Hari said, "don't make that
call."
"Don't
be ridiculous. What choice do I have?"
No
electronics work in the ON field—not even, say, the voicerecognition chips
built into palmlocks.
"I'm telling you," Hari said, stronger,
more urgently, "don't do it. You have to listen to me." He
started toward the ex-Emperor, his hand out as though to grab the bigger man
and haul him away from the desk by force.
Voice-recognition chips aren't restricted to
operating palmlocks or controlling access to netsites; they can be used to
trigger almost any kind of device--
"Nonsense,"
the ex-Emperor said, thumbing the mike key next to the speaking tube.
—like
a detonator.
"Don't
do it—"
Tan'elKoth
continued, "Iris: initiate telecommunications. Exec—" A shattering
roar obliterated the rest of the word.
7
The blast hurled Tan'elKoth backward into Hari,
flattening them both like they'd been hit by a freightliner. Hari might have
lost consciousness for a second or two; he found himself on his hands and
knees, shaking his head, thunder rolling on and on in his ears, joined by a
high, singing whine that made his teeth ache. Some kind of thick greyish
chemical smoke burned the back of his throat and punched hacking coughs out of
his lungs. All that was left of Tan'elKoth's beautiful rolltop desk was a
kneehigh bonfire--the oil- and varnish-impregnated wood pumped out black smoke
of its own, but that didn't worry him.
What
worried him was how bright it was in here.
White as lightning, the glare hurt—and it grew
brighter and brighter until he felt like somebody was driving nails into his
eyeballs. With the light came heat: searing radiance like a sunlamp strapped
onto his face.
The
whole apartment was on fire.
Even the stone of the floor burned: outspreading
rings of white flame hissed sparks at the ceiling. In the center of each
widening ring was a smoldering splinter of wood—pieces of the desk, flaming,
blown everywhere by the bomb. And the hissing, spark-showering rings of fire
grew slowly, spreading like ripples in a pond of molasses, and the stone in
their wake glowed red-white like slag from a blast furnace.
That
fucking dust
Somebody'd
sprayed it all over the goddamn place. Thermite, maybe a magnesium
compound, maybe something new he'd never heard of it didn't matter. What
mattered was getting out of here.
Holding a fold of his tunic across his mouth and
nose against the smoke, he snaked over to Tan'elKoth. The big man lay on his back,
limbs splayed bonelessly, out cold. His black sweater had been blown to rags,
and the chestplate of the ammod harness looked like the front end of a car
after a disagreement with the pylon of a suspension bridge. His face was
scorched, his eyebrows burned off; embers still crawled through his hair,
making it crinkle and spit smoke.
Hari spent an eternal five seconds feeling for a
pulse between the windpipe and the massive cords of Tan'elKoth's neck; he
wasn't sentimental enough to get his ass cooked trying to rescue a corpse.
One, two, three, four—son of a bitch if the big
bastard wasn't still alive after all. Now all Hari had to do was figure out how
a 170-pound middle-aged man who was not in the best shape of his life was gonna
get out of here hauling this fucking behemoth who was way too goddamn close to
three times his weight. This, Hari thought concisely, is gonna suck.
He grasped Tan'elKoth's ankles and started dragging
him toward the door, but as soon as he stood the smoke blinded and choked him;
he had to sit down and push himself across the floor crabwise, and his soft
boots could get little purchase—slow going, at best.
That high, singing whine began to overpower the
rolling thunder in his ears, and he recognized it now: muffled by his stunned eardrums,
he was hearing the blare of the Curioseum's alarm but it wasn't the rising wail
of the fire alarm.
It was the tooth-grinding screech of the intruder
alarm.
"Motherfucker!"
Hari threw himself backward into a shoulder-roll that brought him up in a low
crouch facing the door
Just
in time to see the security gate ratchet down the last few inches and lock in
place.
The intruder alarm kept on screeching, and no fire
alarm sounded at all—which meant he couldn't expect any help from the
Curioseum's fire-suppression system. Or from San Francisco Fire and Rescue. The
security gate was a flex-linked grid of half-inch hardened steel bars: no
getting past that without a cutting torch or a hydraulic jack, and the
second-floor windows would be gated by now as well. "Okay, I was
wrong," he muttered, hacking on the smoke and wiping at tears that
streamed from his stinging eyes. "This already sucks."
Though the rings of flame grew wider, growing toward
intersection, the smoke didn't seem to be thickening at all—in fact, now that
he'd noticed, he could see that the smoke was being drawn upward along the
broad sweep of stairs, as though the light traps in the middle of the second
floor and the third formed an accidental chimney.
Yeah—there'd be ventilators up there, to clear the
area of solvent fumes and marble dust. They would be useless for escaping: the
Curioseum's outside vents were less than a foot in diameter and heavily
baffled—something to do with maintaining the ON field
The skylight, Hari thought. No need for a security gate: the armorglass skylight was
fused with the stone of the roof. It'd take tools to cut it open—but the third
floor was Tan'elKoth's sculpture studio. Full of tools.
It
was also two goddamn tall floors straight up through a column of toxic smoke,
and Hari's sonofabitching legs only half worked.
A new swirl of that smoke choked him, and when he
coughed he tasted blood. Tan'elKoth had said something about a self-contained
breathing apparatus; that was all he needed to make up his mind.
He grabbed Tan'elKoth's ankles again, took a deep
breath and a glance to orient himself, then squeezed his eyes shut and held his
breath as he stood up and leaned against Tan'elKoth's weight, dragging the huge
man toward the stairs. Heat knocked the strength out of him like a blow from a
club. He could barely pull the ex-Emperor along the floor; how in the name of
Christ was he supposed to haul this 400-pound gorilla up three fucking floors?
Hari
left him half on the stairs, head at the bottom to keep him below the worst of
the smoke, and sprinted upward empty-handed.
The smoke scalded his eyeballs, blinding him with
tears before he'd made it halfway to the second floor. He sagged against the
railing—gagging, spitting blood—but shook himself and kept on, driving his failing
legs up the steps, hauling himself hand over hand along the rail. When he
reached the second floor, he fell outward into the clearer air of Tan'elKoth's
bedchamber and lay there, gasping, just long enough to catch a breath that
didn't make him convulse, then pulled himself back to his feet.
He shut his eyes again and pounded up the last
flight of stairs, holding his breath. He staggered into the sculpture studio;
hypoxia made his head swim and turned his knees to jelly, but right next to the
wheeled hydraulic scaffolding that surrounded a sculpture in progress, he found
Tan'elKoth's respirator mask and slapped it over his face.
He spent a grateful ten seconds just breathing; air
came hard and slow through the regulator, but it was clean enough to taste like
wine. The face-plate cleared, and now he could see, as well.
A quick glance around the smoke-filled studio gave
him half a solution: a crane was mounted on a pivot so that it would swing out
over the light trap, bearing a pulley and cable attached to a hand-winch,
for lifting Tan'elKoth's raw materials—steel, bronze, and enormous blocks of
marble—up to here from the ground floor.
It was half a solution because there was only
one respirator. Hauling Tan'elKoth slowly up through the ascending column of
smoke would suffocate him; if Hari left the respirator on Tan'elKoth, he didn't
think he could make it up the stairs a second time to crank the damn winch—and
the growing heat that blasted up through the light traps might roast Tan'elKoth
anyway. What I really need is speed, Hari told himself. Speed is what
I really need.
That thought rang in his head like a mantra by Dr.
Seuss, and then he had it. The enormous half-finished marble statue within the
hydraulic scaffolding .. .
The idea came to him whole, perfectly formed,
audacious enough to make him laugh out loud: because the marble statue stood on
a low, square dolly with swivel-mounted wheels.
He swung the crane arm out over the light trap and
knocked loose the winch's ratchet gear so that the cable twisted downward. He
let the cable spool out he couldn't see the first floor through the smoke, and
he didn't want to get down there and find out he hadn't left himself enough
slack. Tan'elKoth—Mr. Efficient—had marked the cable with a big piece of
colored duct tape; when that reached the pulley, Hari figured he'd let out
enough.
Tan'elKoth's pneumatic chisel, pressure tank fully
charged, rested on one of the scaffolds; Hari ripped the vacuum hose off the
chisel and pulled the scaffold over to the winch. A couple of chisel strokes
neatly parted the cable strands a few meters back around the spool. Han hauled
the free end over to the statue; then he looped the cable under the marble arms
and tied it off to itself with a simple loop knot. He skirted the statue once
around, unlocking each of the dolly's wheels, and everything was ready to go.
He stood back for one moment to look it over and reassure himself that this was
gonna work—and found himself staring, mouth hanging open within the respirator
mask.
The
figure that struggled free from the block of marble was that of a middle-aged,
rather ordinary, conservative-looking man. Something in the texture of the
sculpted hair suggested a scatter of grey, and jowls were beginning to soften
his jawline. But what held Hari was the look on its face: the sad knowledge
within its eyes, a sort of settled melancholy that wasn't even potent enough to
be dignified as despair. The statue looked like a man who knows too well he has
lost the promise and possibility of youth, who has found nothing with which to
replace them—and who doesn't seem to mind all that much. It was the image
of a man who'd settled into a comfortable failure.
Holy
crap, Hari thought. It's me.
The
block of marble was labeled in black wax pencil on the side, in Tan'elKoth's
bowl scrawl: David the King.
I
don't get it.
Was he wrong? Was it an accidental resemblance?
No—on the scaffolding that surrounded it were dozens
of black-and-white printouts of digigraphs, everything from Caine's first
publicity head-shots to stills from Studio security cameras showing Hari from
every conceivable angle and in every possible posture. What the fuck is
going on here?
And with that mental question, another tendril of
smoke drifted before his eyes and reminded him of the immediate answer. He'd
worry about Tan'elKoth's goddamn art after he'd saved the bastard's life.
He sprinted to the stairwell and threw himself into
it, sliding down the railing with exhilirating speed. He hit the second floor
and sprang to the next flight—the flames below crept closer and closer to
Tan'elKoth's side as he stirred now, dazedly—and Hari swung himself onto the
rail again and skidded down to stop beside him. Tan'elKoth couldn't even look
at him; he was too busy coughing blood and trying to wipe smoke from his eyes.
The cable hung down the middle of the light traps; a
few meters of it were coiled within one of the spreading rings of flame—some of
it had melted from contact with the white-hot floor near the rim. Hari sprang
high over the spitting flame, hooked the cable with his elbow and sprang back
again, letting the cable slide through the crook of his arm so he wouldn't take
up any slack.
Even that brief instant in contact with the heated
stone was too much for his boots: they burst into flame. He kicked them off,
but they had already ignited the dust that impregnated the fabric of his pants;
an instant later his shirt had caught as well. He swore and held the cable with
his teeth while he wildly ripped away his burning clothes; they shredded in his
hands and he threw them aside, but not before they'd seared his skin. Smoke
rose from his flesh like overdone barbecue. That's okay, he told
himself. So long as I get out of here before I go into shock.
Naked now, he brought the cable's hot end to
Tan'elKoth. The ex-Emperor was trying to sit up, mumbling something about all
this being wrong, that this wasn't what was supposed to happen. "If we
start worrying about what's supposed to happen," Hari shouted
through the mask above the fire's roar, "we're both gonna die in
here? Hold still!"
"Your clothes ..." Tan'elKoth said
blankly. "You're naked."
"Now I know why everybody says you're a
genius," Hari told him. "Don't move." Working swiftly, he looped
the cable under Tan'elKoth's armpits.
"What
. . . ? What are you doing? This fire—what? This hurts ..." Hari
grinned as he tightened the knot. "Yeah."
The
ex-Emperor coughed, spraying blood; tears streamed down his face. "What are
you doing?"
"Saving
your life. You ever hear of a guy who called himself Batman?"
"Batman?" Tan'elKoth frowned dazedly, as though he couldn't quite
make his eyes focus. "I don't understand."
"You will," Hari said, and leaped into the
air. Past the top of his leap, already coming down, he doubled his legs up
under him and grabbed onto the cable.
High, high above, through the pulley on the crane,
the cable pulled David the King rolling on its dolly toward the light
trap.
It reached the railing at the rim, and tipped. For
one awful moment, Hari feared he'd mis-estimated the statue's center of
gravity—but then it tipped farther, and farther, leaning over like a toppling
drunk. For half a second it hung there, balanced on the rail . . . then it slid
out into space.
Hari said: "Going up!"
The statue came down like a boulder off a cliff.
Hari and Tan'elKoth shot upward.
The statue swung wide, jerking and bouncing, raking
across the light trap and threatening to tangle the cable upon itself. Hari
swore as he watched the statue hurtle down at his head like a giant's
flyswatter. Okay, so I didn't really think this through
He swung his legs high, like a pole vaulter, and met
the rim of the descending statue's dolly with the soles of his feet, kicking
himself and Tan'elKoth wide—and it gave him a twinge, it really did, seeing his
middle-aged self in marble sail into the depths of the column of smoke below.
Then they were past, yanked up onto the studio—Hari
let go of the cable to catch the crane arm—and the statue slammed into the
ground floor far below and shattered. One arm hooked over the crane, Han
grabbed frantically for the cable, expecting Tan'elKoth to drop like a stone,
gritting his teeth against the anticipated pain of having the cable slice to
the bone of his hand as Tan'elKoth's weight pulled it through
But Hari's kick off the statue had set the two of
them swinging like a pendulum; as the statue pulled the moment-arm of their
pendulum short, the angle of their swing increased—like a yo-yo going Over the
Falls—and swung Tan'elKoth just barely wide enough that he could latch
onto the rail of the light trap with one massive hand. He slammed hard into the
cutaway floor, but managed to hang on while Hari scrambled down off the crane
and got there to help him over the rail.
Coughing convulsively, tears streaming down his
face, smoke still spitting from the embers that crawled through his hair,
Tan'elKoth roared furiously, "You are ... incapable ... of doing anything
. . . the easy way!"
"Shut
up and haul in that fucking cable!" Hari shouted back. "We're not out
of here yet!"
He rolled the hydraulic scaffold—the one that held
the pneumatic chisel—over so that it spanned one corner of the light trap, then
locked its wheels and cranked it up to its full extension, which took it nearly
to the ceiling. He swarmed up the side ladder, picked up the chisel, and jammed
its cutting edge against the armorglass on one side of the arched skylight.
When he squeezed the trigger handle, the chisel roared to life like a
jackhammer.
Working as fast as he could, he scored a
manhole-sized circle in the armorglass--the pressure in the chisel's tank was
dropping rapidly. Tan'elKoth coughed his way up beside him, carrying the cable
coiled in his fist, as the chisel slowed. Its strokes weakened and finally
stopped.
Hari put his shoulder against the scored circle of
armorglass and shoved, but he might as well have been pushing a mountain.
Tan'elKoth caught his elbow and pulled him aside; then the big man lifted the
chisel's pressure tank like a Social Police battering ram and slammed its
curved end against the scoring. A tracery of cracks bloomed from the point of
impact like lightning crawling the face of a thunderhead.
Tan'elKoth slammed it again, a quarter of the way
around the circle, and again, and again. His face had gone from bright red to
purple, and he hit the circle one more time, in the middle, and the disk of
armorglass popped out like the lid of a vacuum pack.
Hari
made Tan'elKoth go out first, and Tan'elKoth turned back to help him through
the hole so he didn't cut himself on its razor-sharp edges.
Once out in the cool darkness of the roof, Hari
stripped off the respirator mask and crouched next to Tan'elKoth, who lay on
the roof, still coughing, wiping his eyes. Smoke boiled out the skylight behind
him, a long column twisting up toward the gibbous moon.
Hari's hands were shaking, and the inside of the
respirator mask was spattered with blood. "Goddamn," he said softly,
to himself. "Goddamn if I didn't pull it off."
8
He lay down on the roof beside Tan'elKoth and let
the heat of his burns drain into the night-cool stone. The pain was only
beginning, and he knew it would be bad. Still, though, for this one moment, he
was content to lie here under the stars and luxuriate in the sensation of being
alive.
"Why?"
Tan'elKoth said; his voice was thick, as though he held back a sob. "Why?
I am your enemy. Why did you do this?"
"I don't know," Hari answered. "I
guess it seemed like a good idea at the time." He rolled his face toward
Tan'elKoth, smiling with his bloody lips. "Maybe I just wanted to hear you
say thanks."
Tan'elKoth
turned away. "My David," he murmured. "Oh, my David—"
"What,
is this about the fucking statue?" Hari made himself sit up. "Your
life or the statue," he said. "Which would you rather save?"
Tan'elKoth
buried his face in his hands. "This is a choice no artist should ever have
to make."
"You
didn't," Hari reminded him. "Nobody asked you."
"No
more did I ask for your help," Tan'elKoth said bitterly. "No more
shall I give you my thanks."
And
while Hari sat there, staring at the ex-Emperor, he realized he wasn't
interested in gratitude.
Old,
tired, whipped by life, one leg tied behind his back
I've
still got it.
He
showed his teeth to the moon.
I've still fucking got it.
That
feeling was worth every one of his burns.
"Come
on, get moving," he said abruptly. "Tie the damn cable to something
up here so we can get off this roof."
While Tan'elKoth slid a loop over one merlon of the
Curioseum's crenellated roof and walked himself backward down the wall, hand
over hand along the cable, Hari Michaelson triaged the casualties of his life.
Duncan was beyond help; the bulldog jaws of the
Social Police had locked upon him, and his life bled out through their teeth.
Faith would keep; bad as her situation was, alone and probably frightened among
strangers, she was in no immediate danger. Shanks wasn't the type to torture
and kill a helpless child just for fun; she only tortured and killed help-less
children when she had something to gain from it. Tan'elKoth didn't need any
more help; warned now, aware of the danger he faced, he could go to his Leisure
friends for protection.
And
Hari himself—
To
save himself would cost more than his life was worth.
Tan'elKoth
called up to him from the sidewalk below. "I'm down!"
Instead of answering, Hari walked past the smoking
skylight to an-other one a few yards away; he leaned on it, pressing his palms
against the armorglass, and looked down past the actinic blaze from the Pallas
Ril figure, down to where the wax Caine leaped upon the blade of the wax Berne.
He'd relived that instant so many times in the past seven years that he no
longer knew if he remembered it for itself, or if he only remembered remembering;
he'd never quite had the courage to play the second-hander cube, to check his
recollection.
He did know this, though, beyond a dream of doubt:
on that day, on that sand, knowing he was about to die, he had been as close to
happy as he'd ever come.
All
right, he thought, staring down at
the wax Caine. All right. I understand now.
Caine
had died, on the arena sand that hot autumn noon. For seven long years,
Hari had been no more than Caine's rotting corpse.
Fuck
it. If dying were anything special, they wouldn't let everybody do it.
Tan'elKoth
called from below. "I'm down! Are you coming?"
Hari went to the edge of the Curioseum's roof. Out
across the carhive between the Curioseum and the Studio, security vans roared
toward them, and high against the stars wailed approaching fire and emergency
rescue vehicles. He looked down at Tan'elKoth. "You haven't seen me,"
he said as he pulled the cable up, coiling it around his arm. "I was never
here. You got out on your own. You hear me?"
"What
are you talking about?"
"No
time to explain. I gotta go save the world."
He
pulled the last of the cable up and slipped the loop off the merlon. From
below, Tan'elKoth said, "Caine?"
He almost answered with his reflexive Call me
Hari, goddammit but he changed his mind. He stood absolutely still for one
long second, savoring the feeling.
Then
he leaned out over the battlement. "Yeah?" he said. "What?"
"It's my world, too, Caine," Tan'elKoth said. "Good luck."
"Thanks." Looking down, he touched his
brow in a sketch of a salute. "Same to you," he said, then turned and
ran like hell, streaking across the roof, heading for the skywalk that
connected to the Studio.
9
The rescue squad paramedic piled out of the
emergency services vehicle before the turbines had even spun down; he staggered
through the backblast to reach the side of Tan'elKoth. "Are you hurt,
sir?" he shouted over the declining roar of the turbines. "Do
you need medical attention?"
"Yes,
I do," Tan'elKoth said grimly. "But more than that, I need your
palmpad."
"What?"
Tan'elKoth seized the paramedic's shoulder in one
titanic hand, his grip so sudden and powerful that it short-circuited the
startled man's will; he didn't even try to move while the ex-Emperor yanked the
palmpad from his belt holster. Tan'elKoth shoved the man stumbling backward and
gave him a volcanic glare that told him to keep his distance. "Initiate
telecommunications," he spat into the device's microphone. "Studio
two five X-ray zulu four. Execute."
A
moment later, the tiny screen shimmered with a view of Kollberg's wasted,
leering face. "Well?"
"Not at all well," Tan'elKoth growled.
"To what manner of fool did you assign this task? I was nearly killed, as
was he—mortal danger to us both was never part of the plan."
"Mortal
danger makes it convincing" Kollberg
said. "Don't presume to lecture me on the mechanics of
entertainment."
"This
is not entertainment—"
"Of
course it is."
"Your
incompetence nearly destroyed the entire—"
"Did
it work?" Kollberg interrupted
hungrily.
"Are
you listening to me?"
"Only
cowards and weaklings whine about what almost happened," Kollberg said. "Is he
coming?"
Rising fury swelled the flesh around Tan'elKoth's
eyes; he had made similar pronouncements himself in the past, and he discovered
that he disliked them profoundly from this side.
"Yes,"
he said slowly. "Caine is on his way."
I0
Inside the Studio, Hari discovered that his priority
override codes still operated the palmlocks. He slipped into the deserted
infirmary and treated his burns to a liberal dosing of anesthetic salve and
himself to a couple of potent analgesic caps; after a moment's thought, he
picked up the whole bottle, two extra squeeze tubes of the burn ointment, and a
bottle of broad-spectrum antibiotics.
They think they have me, he thought. They think I'm trapped.
He piled his loot onto the seat of a wheelchair and
pushed it out into the hall, jogging along briskly toward the elevator. Inside
the elevator, he swiftly tucked the stuff into the magazine pockets alongside
the wheelchair's arms, because he was gonna need to sit in this thing in a
minute or two.
His next stop was the Studio ON vault
The vault's armored door swung open with a barely
audible whirr of actuators. Hari sat down before he rolled inside. The
twitching and jerking of his legs as the boundary effect shut down his bypass
didn't matter a damn; he had more important things on his mind.
He picked out a sturdy leather tunic and pants, a
pair of boots that didn't fit him too well—which, after all, wasn't really
important; you don't get blisters when you can't walk. He found a knapsack full
of jerky, hard biscuits, and dried fruit belonging to a swordsman called Manic,
and took his canteen as well. A broad belt with a couple of large sheath-knives
strapped to it turned out to have five gold royals in the concealed coin pouch
sewn inside it. A quick rifling of the rest of the costumes produced three more
royals, seventeen silver nobles, and a double handful of copper peasants.
I'm rich, he
thought.
He held all this in his hands a moment, grimly
reflecting how Caine had once taken pride in the fact that though he might be a
killer, he'd never been a thief. Things change, I guess.
He rolled back out of the vault, closed it behind him,
then went to the greenroom lavatory to reboot. It was a little bit complicated,
with Rover still in L.A.—he had to access Rover's controls over the net through
his palmpad, and route the return commands through the appropriate
subdirectory—but it only took him about three minutes, all told, before he
could walk out of the bathroom and dress in his stolen clothes. He filled the
canteen and put it in the knapsack along with the medicines, and all the coins
that wouldn't fit in the belt's concealed pouch.
When he went to pull on the boots, he was slowed for
a moment by the sight of the Mantrak bracelet around his ankle. Designed for
durability, the Mantrak had come through the fire with only a little surface
blackening. Its diode winked at him like an eye, reminding him of
everything he had posted for his bail.
Everything
he was about to throw away.
Wink: there
goes the job you paid for with your legs and your self-respect, Chairman
Michaelson. Wink: there goes the caste you clawed your way up to,
Administrator Michaelson. Wink: there goes every goddamn mark Caine's
blood and pain and sweat and courage and rage and joy and victory and defeat
ever gave you. Wink: there goes the Abbey, built from your dreams, the
perfect symbol of everything you have achieved in your life, the only home your
daughter has ever known.
Hari thought it over, just for a second; then he
shrugged.
None of that shit ever made me happy, anyway.
He pulled the knives from their sheaths. He examined
the gleam that ran like water along their edges—fresh and keen, no nicks—and
spun them through his fingers, leather-wrapped hilts cool and soft against his
skin. He checked their balance, decided they were throwable, if less than
ideal; he swung his arms back and forth, loosening his shoulders, then turned
the motion into a liquid kali flurry that transformed the blades into
arcs of barely visible silvery flickers. He resheathed the knives, warm now
from the heat of his palms, and rested his hands upon their pommels for just a
moment, allowing himself half a smile. Like a chance meeting with an old
friend, it was bittersweet: memories of better days.
He saw in his mind Tan'elKoth's statue David the
King. He saw again that middle-aged jowliness, the bags of defeat below the
tired eyes, the aura of comfortable failure. You, he said to the image
in his mind—the image of Administrator Hari Michaelson, Chairman of the San
Francisco Studio--can fuck off.
He walked out of the greenroom, strong and sure, but
they were waiting for him in the corridor.
II
By the time the first shock baton swung at his ribs,
Hari was already beaten. He never had a chance, but that didn't stop him. It
didn't even slow him down.
The baton sparked, whistling toward him just as he
cleared the green-room door. The instincts of a lifetime moved him faster than
thought: his hand slashed down, striking the gauntleted wrist, bending its arc
below his ribs to miss his thigh and trigger harmlessly against the doorjamb.
His hand stayed with the wrist as though it was glued there, turning it over so
that he could lever his other forearm against the elbow in an arm bar. He
yanked back on the wrist as he shoved with the forearm, and the elbow snapped
with a splintery crunch—muffled by the blue body armor even as the grunt of
shock and pain was muffled by the mirror-masked helmet.
That's when Hari figured out he'd just broken the
arm of a Social Po-lice officer—and there were five more of them bracketing him
in the corridor. Assaulting an officer of the Social Police is a capital crime.
If
I wasn't already fucked he thought,
I'd be pretty upset about this.
He lunged back for the greenroom door, where they
could only come at him one at a time, but the soapy whose arm he'd broken
sagged against him, clawing with his good arm and letting the rest of his body
go limp so that Hari had to shove him off. In that half second when his hands
were busy a shock baton triggered against his lumbar vertebrae.
Right over his bypass.
His legs went dead, and he dropped like a sack of
fish, flopping and twitching uncontrollably. Only his left arm still worked a
little; he snarled a wordless wolverine growl and dragged one of the
knives from his belt, but the officer that stood over him slapped it away with
another stroke from a shock baton. Enough charge was conducted through the
blade to make his arm flail wildly and send the knife skittering down the
corridor.
"Hit him again." This was a human voice,
not the digitized soapy drone. The sound of it scorched Hari's throat with
vomit; the voice hurt him, burned him like acid poured into his ear.
He had spent too many years listening to it tell him
what to do.
The soapy gave him another shot with the baton, and
Hari bucked and thrashed like a depressive taking ECT. Darkness closed in
around his vision, narrowing the lights of the corridor to a shrinking pool of
fluorescent white. A wasted scarecrow caricature of Arturo Kollberg stepped
into the pool.
Hari moaned. Kollberg licked his lips like a bum at
a Dumpster. "Give him another."
Hari could no longer feel the shock of the baton; he
was barely even aware of his own convulsions. As the light of the world slipped
away from his eyes, Arturo Kollberg bent low and kissed him on the mouth.
"You know what?" Kollberg said, making a
face. "You don't taste good. I'm not even getting hard."
I2
Much of the Curioseum's menagerie was devoted to
species that once had roamed the land and sky and seas of Earth. Shuffled among
the wyverns and draconymphs, the griffins and the unicorns were creatures now nearly
as exotic, nearly as much the stuff of legend: otters and seals, frogs
and salamanders, wolves and foxes and hawks, cougars and lions, elephants,
an eagle, even two small inbred whales and a pod of dolphins. The
menagerie occupied the central rotunda within the Curioseum's arboretum,
beneath an immense dome of armorglass that allowed a pale filtering of
moonlight to trickle wanly over the cages. But that greasy light was the limit
of the menagerie's contact with the environment of Earth; even those creatures
capable of surviving without the trace Flow available within the
Overworld-normal field would not have found healthful what passed for air
outside.
A scent hung in the recirculated, chemically
scrubbed atmosphere, even through the acidic back-of-the-throat sizzle
remaining from last night's fire: a trace of musk and dung and urine that
interlaced the perfumes of chokeweed and marsh poppy and complemented the
constant chuckle of living voices, from the chirps of otters and belches of
frogs to the whistle of the songtrees and the hissing snarl of a wyvern in rut.
To Tan'elKoth, it smelled almost like home.
He stood in the center of it all, his mighty arms
spread wide, his Shell agape like the mouth of a hungry chick, drinking every
flutter of wings and rustle of leaves and splash of fins or tail, for in this
place was the greatest concentration of the life of his world—and the life of
his world breathed out Flow. He was battered and burned, bruised and bandaged;
though he had cut away his long chocolate curls that had been scorched to black
crinkles, the smell of smoke clung to him. His mighty chest was wrapped tightly
to keep his sprung ribs in place, and his fashionable, freshly dry-cleaned
clothes bulged oddly here and there with the bulk of burn dressings beneath. An
ordinary man would have required potent narcotics to dull the pain of his
burns; Tan'elKoth did not. All he needed to salve his wounds, he could draw
from the Flow.
Though
the Flow here was but a trickle, he was Tan'elKoth. For Tan'elKoth, a trickle
would suffice.
At his feet knelt Gregor Hale Prohovtsi, twenty
years old, the finest student ever to participate in Tan'elKoth's Applied
Magick seminar, a slim intense youth with long dark hair and penetrating hazel
eyes. His Shell shimmered bright with the saturated spring green of
transcendent concentration, and it grew larger, brighter, and more vivid as
Tan'elKoth fed it power. Gregor knelt with his head lowered, his hands folded
before him on the inverted hilt of a broad-bladed bastard sword, its tip
grounded into the marble tile of the rotunda, staring at the cruciform guard
like a Knight Templar at prayer.
This blade was Kosall.
Beside Gregor's knees was a small paintpot of liquid
silver—it looked black, in suspension. A small brush of ash and sable lay
across the paintpot's open mouth, the end still dark with paint. The
liquid silver had been used to paint the gleaming runes that spidered down both
flats of the blade, not quite connecting at the tip.
Tan'elKoth stroked an image into shape with the pale
fingers of his mind: the last. five runes, interlinked and joining the patterns
on the two faces of the blade. He affixed this image to his student's Shell and
added power to burn it in; Prohovtsi would be able to see this image overlaying
the blade as long as he remained in mindview. Slowly, carefully, minding his
breathing, Prohovtsi lifted the brush, dipped it into the liquid silver, and
began to trace the mental image onto the steel.
"Well
done, Gregor," Tan'elKoth murmured, watching. "Well done, indeed. If
anything, your hand is more sure even than my own."
Without the Flow of home to energize them, these
runes were as silent as was Kosall itself. On Overworld, they would spring to
eldritch life when the touch of flesh links their patterns through the
conductive salts of living tissue; with one cut of the irresistible blade, the
runes would inescapably trap the consciousness that flees as the body dies--a
quite simple variant of the spell that Ma'elKoth had used to capture Lamorak,
and so many others.
Even as magick had been scribed in patterns along
the blade, so, too, had magick been scribed in Prohovtsi's mind; at the touch
of the proper trigger, Prohovtsi would speak the proper words—in a language he
does not understand—and his body would perform the proper gestures. Hours had
passed in intensive mindwork under the yellow glare of the caged wyvern, as
Tan'elKoth had meticulously, painstakingly layered and sequentialized each
syllable, each turn of the palm and cant of the head; it was, not to put too
fine a point on it, a masterwork. Tan'elKoth was certain that no other man
alive could have equaled this feat.
This
was an exquisitely satisfying process; infinitely more so than creating
sculpture over which the ignorant wealthy might coo could ever be.
He had made of Prohovtsi a puppet no, more
precisely, a waldo: an engine through which his will would work, even at a
distance. Submerging his student's will beneath his own had required only the
slightest effort; through the months of the Applied Magick seminar, Prohovtsi
had been ineluctably conditioned to accept Tan'elKoth's orders without
question. By now, he could not even dream of resistance. Almost as though I
have planned for this all along, Tan'elKoth thought. Curious.
This was the fulfillment of his bargain with
Kollberg and the Board of Governors: he would gift them with the destruction of
Caine and the death of Pallas Ril. Occasionally, he allowed himself the luxury
of hoping that the Board would keep their own end of the bargain, but he
did not rely upon it. Their perfidy had peeked around the corner of their
proclamations last night. Perhaps they would not murder him outright rather
like Caine, ironically enough, he had many admirers among the Leisurefolk, and
some few in. the Leisure Congress itself—but the Board obviously did not place
a high value on his life, or their word.
This distressed him not one whit. He had seen this
fork in the fractal branches of the world-tree that he tended with his will,
and he had prepared already the graft that would bear the fruit of his desire.
While Prohovtsi brushed the runes onto Kosall,
Tan'elKoth turned and walked briskly way. Consumed by the challenging—for
him—task of maintaining mindview while painting, Prohovtsi would never notice
his teacher's absence. The ubiquitous Social Police, attached to him like
limpets since the fire, had been temporarily banished; Tan'elKoth had been able
to claim, entirely truthfully, that their mass of electronic gear and armor and
weaponry would interfere with the delicate traceries of Flow in the menagerie.
Kollberg had ordered them to stay away from him until the spellcasting—spell programming—was
complete.
So now, if only for the nonce, Tan'elKoth was free.
He slipped through the arboretum to its twinned field-lock
doors of armorglass, then out into the vacant echoic space of the Curioseum's
atrium, beyond the ON field. Carbon-fiber bomb shutters were in place across
the public accessways, englooming the atrium with artificial twilight; the
entire Curioseum was closed during the make-believe "internal arson
investigation" of last night's fire. Tan'elKoth paced past the vast empty
ring of information and ticket booths to the bank of public screens that filled
the wall beside the coat check.
Lamorak's memory provided the Shanks private code:
thus this call would be billed to SynTech, and any security captures set to
monitor Tan'elKoth's communications would continue their peaceful slumber on
the net, undisturbed. He smiled when the personal acknowledgment came back. He
had no desire to leave a recorded message. This matter was some-what too
delicate to be committed to a datacore.
Avery Shanks herself answered; her predatory gaze
cycled from blankly hostile suspicion through recognition to open hatred. She was
really very attractive, he decided. Stark, forbidding, all sharp edges and
bleak contrast, yet somehow perfect, as though nature had intended her as
precisely this: like a mountain on the Moon. "You," she said
flatly.
"Me," Tan'elKoth agreed. "I'm
gratified that you know me, Businessman."—and thus have no need to
speak my name, he thought. The Studio's security captures would
certainly register any mention of his name; should the phrase Tan'elKoth be
spoken, he would instantly close the conversation with the blandest of trivia,
and sign off.
"How did you get this code?"
"You
know how," Tan'elKoth reminded her gravely. "You must have seen some
of Kollberg's trial."
Her gaze lost its needle focus, and for an instant
the hard lines of her face softened toward an actual human expression of grief,
but for an instant only. "Yes, I did." Her eyes iced over. "What
do you want?"
"Tomorrow morning, within an hour or so of
dawn, your granddaughter will suffer a traumatic shock entirely unlike anything
you can imagine. It may manifest as schizophrenia, autism, even catatonia—I
cannot say precisely. What I can say, however, is that there is no one on Earth
who will be able to help her—" Tan'elKoth tilted his head just slightly, a
barely perceptible nod to his presumption. "—except me."
"How do you know this?"
"I am who I am, Businessman."
"What kind of trauma?"
Shanks' glare was so direct and levelly hostile that
Tan'elKoth felt an absurd desire to apologize for the implausibility of what he
was about to say. He set his teeth and spoke with the full conviction of truth.
"You have had the child for two days. Surely, by now, you are aware of her
connection to the river?"
"I
am aware of the ridiculous, pernicious fantasy with which her parents have
poisoned her mind, yes. She is forbidden to speak of it."
As though that will make it go away, Tan'elKoth thought. Typically Business. "Hardly
a fantasy, Businessman," he said smoothly. "Tomorrow morning, her
mother will die."
The Businessman's eyes sharpened like a knife, but
she said nothing.
"Faith will experience her mother's death in a
fashion so intimate as to defy description. I cannot predict with any precision
what form her reaction will take. I can say only that it will be extreme,
certainly irreparable. Possibly fatal. You will want my help."
Shanks' eyes drifted closed for a moment, as she
appeared to think this over, but when they opened again he read nothing
but flat rejection. "Neither I nor my granddaughter have any need of
your help," Shanks said, crisp as winter's first frost. "Do
not use this code again. It will be canceled within the hour. Do not attempt to
make contact with me, her, any member of my clan, or any Shanks affiliate. If
you do, I shall file stalking and caste-violation complaints with the Social
Police. Do you understand?"
"As
you will," Tan'elKoth said with an expressively liquid shrug. "You
know where I can be reached."
The corners of Shanks' mouth drew down, and her
voice went even colder. "You're not getting this, are you? You will never
speak to me or my granddaughter again. You think that I don't know about your .
. . prank .. . the other night—the call, the picture. But I do. I'm not a
damned idiot. The only reason I haven't had you arrested for impersonating a
Businessman is that you handed me a stick I could hit Michaelson with. And this
is the limit of my gratitude: I have let you use me to take your own revenge.
Because it suits me. I enjoyed it. You gave me the chance to hurt him almost as
badly as he hurt me, so I let you get away with it. Don't push your luck."
"Businessman,"
Tan'elKoth began, but the screen was already blank.
He shrugged at his dark reflection in the midnight
grey of the screen. This particular branch of his fractal world-tree was growing
precisely in its predicted curve. He had successfully planted the idea; now it
would grow, watered by Faith's coming distress and the ferocious mother-tiger
instincts that were the very core of Avery Shanks' being. Lamorak had schooled
him well in the art of dealing with his mother; Tan'elKoth had not the
slightest doubt of eventual success.
The god within him throbbed with desire. Soon, he
promised Ma'elKoth for the thousandth time. Soon you shall live again, and
our world shall be saved.
For Faith could touch the river; through her, he
could touch it, too. Once he tapped the river's power, not all the Kollbergs
and Governors and Studios in the world could stop him from going home.
He turned away from the bank of screens, and only
the massive exercise of a level of self-restraint not accessible to lesser
mortals enabled him to suppress what might otherwise have been the leap and
snarl of a startled panther when the screen behind him crackled to life, and
Kollberg's voice called his name.
His heart thudded like punches against his chest. He
strangled a suicidal urge to stammer out a hasty explanation for his presence
in the atrium. All this passed in the merest blink; he, was, after all,
Tan'elKoth. "Yes, Laborer?" he said with magisterial dignity.
"How may I be of service to the Board?"
"How goes the work with the blade?"
"It is prepared. Prohovtsi is ready, as well. I
will send the blade with him to the docks as soon as I return. All is precisely
as I have agreed with the Board."
"I'm not calling for the Board," Kollberg said in a friendly enough tone—though
there was something undefinably strange in his voice, as though he spoke words
memorized phonetically in a language he could not comprehend. "The
Board doesn't need you right now,"
The Laborer gazed from the screen without
expression. Slowly, he tilted his head to one side, as though abstractly
curious about how Tan'elKoth might look from a different angle. Kollberg seemed
reduced, refined, somehow less even than he had on their initial meeting
two days ago, as though some inexorable erosion continued to scour away what
little humanity had survived his downcasting. His unblinking eyes, with
their cold unquenchable hunger, reminded Tan'elKoth of a dragon's. And yet, Tan'elKoth
thought, I have faced a true dragon with more ease than I feel right now.
"In fact," Kollberg said with eerily disconnected cheerfulness,
"I called to offer a service. We have a transmission coming
through that I think you'll find, ah, entertaining."
In a single lightning-strike flicker, every screen
in the atrium flared, from the public screen banks to the touchscreen infopods
to the towering jumbotrons hung like canopies from the ceiling. Every screen
showed the same scene—something perhaps from one of those motion picture entertainments
of which Caine was so fond—a Western, possibly: the interior of a railcar, low
mountains passing outside, beyond a window stained grey-brown with coal smoke.
But none of the five visible passengers wore guns or
broad-brimmed hats or any of the other standard appurtenances Tan'elKoth had
come to expect from such fare. In fact—Tan'elKoth realized with a mildly
disorienting shock—four of them wore the customary dark robes of Monastic
ordinaries, while the fifth wore the gold-stitched scarlet of a full
Ambassador.
He frowned. "What is this?"
"This,"
Kollberg replied, "is what
the Studio is currently receiving from Hari Michaelson's thoughtmitter."
An epithet borrowed from Caine thumped inside
Tan'elKoth's skull: Holy freaking crap . . . It stole his breath;
clutching at his chest as though in pain, he murmured, "Through his
eyes—you can show me the death of Pallas Ril through his eyes—"
"Oh, yes," Kollberg agreed, and there was an ugly suggestion of
mutual lust in his voice, like a dealer in child pornography warming up a
potential customer. "Wouldn't you like to watch?"
The
prospect stunned him; for a moment, he was closer to speechless than at any
time in his entire life. "I, ah, Laborer, perhaps—"
Tan'elKoth told himself that he should be above such
things; he told himself that he had done what he had done not for
revenge—not to injure the enemies who had destroyed him, not to satisfy any of
the myriad such base urges that Ma'elKoth had buried along with the eidolon of
Hannto the Scythe—but to save his world.
And yet
Kollberg might as well have reached into his chest
and taken hold of his heart. The force that tugged him toward the nearest
screen was far beyond any concept of resistance. He found himself leaning
against the glass, staring hungrily, almost panting.
"Laborer,"
he said thickly, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."
There is a cycle of tales that begins long, long
ago, when the human gods decreed that all their mortal children shall know
sorrow, loss, and defeat in the course of the lives they were given. Lives of
pure joy, of perfect sufficiency and constant victory, the gods reserved for
themselves.
Now, it came to pass that one particular man had run
nearly his entire alloted span, and he had never known defeat. Sorrows he had,
losses he had taken, but reversals that other men would call defeats were to
him no more than obstacles; even the worst of his routs was, to him, merely a
strategic withdrawal. He could be killed, but never conquered. For him, the
only defeat was surrender; and he would never surrender.
And
so it soon followed that the king of the human gods undertook to teach this
particular man the meaning of defeat.
The king of the gods took away this man's
career--took away his gift for the art that he loved and that had made him
famous—and this particular man did not surrender.
The king of the gods took away this man's
possessions—took away his home, his wealth, and the respect of his people—and
still this particular man did not surrender.
The
king of the gods took away this man's family, everyone that he loved—and still
this particular man did not surrender.
In the final story of this cycle, the king of the
gods takes away this man's self-respect, to teach him the meaning of the
helplessness that goes with defeat.
And
in the end—the common end, for all who contend with gods this particular man
surrenders, and dies.
NINE
The autumn shower we rattle through leaves the
window streaked with diagonal swipes of darker black, bordering swaths almost
clear where the rain has washed away some of the collected soot. Now as the
tracks curve around another switchback, I press my face against the cool
glass and try to get a glimpse of the Saddle through the backbent plume of coal
smoke that makes a contrail of soot behind the locomotive.
High, high above us, the twin mountains—Cutter and
Chopper, what you might call the incisors of the God's Teeth—soar up through
the orange-tinged night clouds, but the gap between them, the pass called
Khryl's Saddle, is hidden behind a pall of smoke and rock dust. The sedan chair
shifts slightly with the rocking of the railcar, and the steel on steel
clicking of wheels over expansion joints has me drowsy as a baby, but I still
wish I could see the Saddle.
I've been here before. Twice. Once as Caine—many,
many years ago—trekking through the aspens from Jheled-Kaarn to Thorncleft, on
my way to Seven Wells, the distant capital of Lipke . . . And once, only about
five years ago, back when we still thought I might someday walk again, riding
in a sedan chair not quite as nice as this one my best friend gave me. That
time, I was with Shanna, and she took me way up Cutter Mountain to show me the
tiny spring, high on the western slope above the pass—a little washtub-sized
gap through which bubbled hundreds of years of rock-filtered snowmelt—that was
the ultimate headwater of the Great Chambaygen.
But
the image of Shanna walking beside my chair hurts too much to think about, and
I force myself sideways into a different memory.
I can see the Saddle in my head as clearly as I ever
saw it with my eyes: a place of beauty so intense it robs breath from the
lungs, a broad spine of earth and rock buried in forests of aspen, stark
snowbound teeth of stone rising sheer to either side. She stood next to me that
morning, holding my hand, while we watched the sun climb out of the distant
Lipkan plains. The white-capped peaks above us caught the first direct
light and burst into silver flame. Down their slopes the rock shaded from yellow
to orange to deep emberous red, which became a loamy brown where it brushed the
tops of the shadowed aspens in the pass below.
I put my fist against my mouth through the kerchief,
and cough. Like ,the four bearers of my sedan chair, I've got a kerchief tied
across my face against the coal smoke and furnace smut. That cough might be
lung damage from the fire last night, I guess. I kind of hope it is. I guess
I'd really rather have roasted lungs than find out I'm coughing because of the
damn air below Khryl's Saddle.
Things change. Shit, I can see why she went nuts.
We wind upward. All around the railway, the eastern
slope of the pass has become an open wound. The aspen forest has been chewed
into gaping open-pit mines. Thick fogs of coal smoke and rock dust overhang
every valley. Through the dark mist, I can see grimly threatening silhouettes
of huge machines at work upon the land, belching smoke and flame as they chop
and grind and scoop away the earth. It's the ugliest goddamn thing I've ever
seen; it makes my stomach hurt, and brings a bitter acid to my throat that
probably isn't just from the sulphur fumes. "Christ," I mutter.
"They've turned this place into Mordor."
A warm hand squeezes my shoulder, and the voice of
my best friend murmurs in my ear, "Beautiful, isn't it? Magnificent."
And somehow the sound of his voice opens my eyes to
the rich red of the flame from the steam shovel's smokestack, deeper and more
pure than the sun's—and more special, more beautiful, because it was made by
the hand of men. The ruddy gleam it brings to the steel curve of the bucket's
sawteeth is no mere accident of nature, but is intentional, deliberate, the
result of an act as expressive as the stroke of a painter's brush. As far as
the eye can see, men and women work side by side—even now, far into the night
shoulder to shoulder against the inanimate resistance of earth and stone,
stamping this entire blank mountain, this random upcrumpling of the insensate
earth, with the sigil of Man. Looked at through his eyes, it's a
triumph.
"Magnificent .. Yeah, I guess it is," I
say slowly, turning to smile at my best friend. He always seems to do
that—adjust my whole world with just a phrase, the touch of his hand. That's
why he's my best friend.
That's why he's the best friend I've ever had.
"Yeah, Raithe," I tell him. "I guess
I just never looked at it that way before."
Raithe
takes my hand, and the glittering smile that sparks the corners of his
winter-ice eyes tells me that everything is going to be all right.
2
As the train chugs to a stop at the Palatine Camp
station, Raithe pulls an enormous clockworks chronometer from a pocket within
his scarlet robes and ostentatiously snaps open the cover. "Eleven oh
nine," he announces with the kind of self-important snobbery that you can
only get from being a kid in your twenties with the most accurate timepiece in
town. "Six minutes late, but we've plenty of time left."
He closes the cover, but he's so obviously reluctant
to put it away that I take pity on him, finally, and ask him about it.
"A gift," he says with a distant, slightly
grim smile that stays closed over his teeth. "From the Viceroy.
He's mad for punctuality."
"Garrette." The name is foul in my mouth;
it's all I can do not to spit on the floor. Raithe—sensitive as always—picks up
on it instantly. "I thought you and he were friends, Caine. He said he
knows you quite well."
"Friends? I guess you could say he's a certain
kind of friend," I admit. "He's the kind of friend I'd like to stick
in a pit filled to his lower lip with vomit, and toss buckets of shit at his
head to see if I can make him duck."
A couple of the chair bearers snort, and one laughs
outright—then muffles it to snickering behind his hand when he sees that Raithe
doesn't get it. Raithe's eyes go hooded, and his face tightens toward a
painful grimace that's probably supposed to be a smile: the look of a kid with
no sense of humor, who's not sure if he might be the butt of the joke but wants
to look like he's being a good sport about it, just in case. "What if he
just moves to one side?" he offers lamely, trying to play along.
"Then I get a bigger bucket," I tell him,
smiling, and he finally feels pretty sure that it's okay to laugh, so he does.
He's so eager to be liked—from anybody else, it'd be
pathetic, and annoying—but Raithe is such a great kid that I can forgive him
anything. "The Viceroy is on our side in this, Caine," he says
seriously. "He's the one who decided to bring you here, to see if we can
save the elves from Pallas—"
"Don't remind me," I tell him. Something
twists inside my guts. "I can do this, but only if I don't think about it
too much."
Raithe's lips stretch like he's stuck a pencil in
his mouth sideways, and his pale eyes gleam. "You still love her. Even after
what she's done—and what she will do, if we don't stop her."
My mouth tastes of ashes. "It's not that easy
to stop loving someone, kid. I can do what we have to do. But I can't make
myself like it."
He
nods. "Let's go see the Viceroy. The ritual must begin at midnight, and he
wants you to be there."
"That's another thing I'm not gonna be able to
like."
My fingers dig into my numb thighs; I can feel a
suggestion of pressure though the leather. With the bypass shut down by the
inarguable laws of Overworld physics, I have the faintest ghosts of sensation
in my legs—in fact, there's a sudden, surprising pain, and when I
release my thighs I find dark wet splotches on the leather of my pants, and the
palms of my hands are sticky where I touched them. I lift my hands and scowl at
them, trying to get a better look at the guck on my palms in the lamplight.
"What the fuck is this?"
I'm pretty sure I didn't piss myself—the partial
regen on my spine left me with reasonably reliable sphincter control front and
back, so long as the goddamn bypass isn't fucking things up—and the guck smells
kind of medicinal, like some kind of antibacterial creme. I offer my palms to
Raithe. "What is this? Who put this shit on my legs? Some kinda goddamn
practical joke, while I was asleep?"
Now pain starts to announce itself from other parts
of my body as well: my arms, my back, down my ribs along one flank—a lot of
pain, hot crackling pain like deep burns, the kind that feel like you're still
roasting inside. And with the pain, seeping in, comes some kind of primitive
unreasoning horror . . . feels like somebody's piling red-hot rocks onto my
back while an ice-cold anaconda of slime crawls down my throat and curls up in
my belly.
I twitch my hands, trying to flick the gunk
off them, trying to keep from retching a few yards of that snot-covered snake
back up
And Raithe again rescues me with a touch and a calm
word. "No, it's all right, Caine. You have a few little burns, that's all.
Nothing serious. When you rescued M—that is, Tan'elKoth, remember? But they've
been treated and they don't even hurt anymore. Remember?"
"I, uh . . . yeah, okay, I remember." I
put a hand onto my forehead and squeeze my temples between fingertips and thumb.
The pain fades as quickly as it rose.
All in my head, I guess.
"It's weird . . I can't quite get shit straight
in my mind," I say slowly, a little thickly. It's hard to make my lips
work right. "It's like I couldn't really remember if the fire really happened,
or if it was just a dream. I mean, sometimes it seems real, but just now, I
couldn't remember ..."
"Oh, it was real," Raithe says. "It's
all been recorded." His voice has a strange edge to it—creepy, almost like
lust but at the same time he sounds a little smug, a little satisfied. Like
he's looking forward to some-thing that's gonna get him off in the worst way. I
frown at him, but he ignores me.
He flicks his fingers at the bearers—four burly
friars from the Thorncleft Embassy—and they hoist my chair onto their
shoulders. Raithe opens the double door of the railcar, kicks the extensible
stairs so that they unfold to the platform, and all six of us head down into
Palatine.
Even now, close to midnight, Palatine is jumping.
Two years ago, this place had been only the Palatine Camp, nothing but a
cluster of tents and a couple of big-ass corrugated steel sheds—the central
camp for the mines that spider out across the eastern approach of the pass.
Now, it's turned into an honest-to-shit boomtown, Old West style, with two
hotels, a double strip of saloons and whorehouses, stores and stables; even the
rail station has tripled in size. Rail spurs web the hills for miles around.
Next to the station is a small clapboard building with a huge sign declaring it
to be the offices of the Overworld Company newspaper, the Palatine
Tribune.
I can just imagine tomorrow's headline:
ROGUE
GODDESS SLAIN BY CAINE Returning Hero Helps Artans Save World
It makes me more than a little sick.
The streets blaze with hissing gaslights, painting
the faces of the miners and the whores and the general townsfolk all with
identically eerie green-white corpse pallor. My bearers slog across the main
street, a churn of black mud and horseshit a stone's throw wide; coal smoke and
furnace smut coats my skin with greasy brown-black dust before we can get
halfway to the hotel. The air tastes of brimstone.
Inside, Raithe leads us past a very
old-movie-looking front desk, through a small, cramped saloon where a lonely
bartender reads a copy of the Tribune, a real old-fashioned newspaper of
bleached wood pulp and ink. He doesn't even look up as we pass by. Through one
more door is a private party room, with some crude but comfortable-looking
sofas covered in leather, and a wooden dining table big enough to seat maybe
six.
At the far end, behind a wide arc of papers
scattered across the table, sits Vinson Garrette. He looks up as my bearers
maneuver my chair through the doorway, and he nods toward Raithe with a grunt
of welcome. "Excellent," he says softly, then lifts his head and his
voice toward me. "Thank you so much for coming, Hari. As you know, I don't
believe we could save this place from your wife without your help. We'll go
straight from here to the ritual, if it's all right with you."
I rub
my face some more—I have that bad-dream dissociative thing going on again,
where I can't seem to make this make sense, although I'm sure it all hangs
together in some way I can't quite remember. "This feels kinda strange,"
I say. "Being here. I don't know why."
"Of
course you don't," Garrette says kindly. "I think we'll be able to
cut here, and pick up the recording again at the ritual."
"What? Cut? Recording? What are you talking
about?"
Garrette nods toward Raithe, and Raithe instructs
the bearers to set me down at the foot of the table and wait outside.
"Close the door," he says shortly. "You do not want to hear what
is said within this room." The four friars touch fingertips to brows in
the gesture of Obedience and file out. They shut the door.
Garrette's lips thin to a horizontal slash beneath
his long hooked nose, and he rises with the sinister gracelessness of a
predatory wading bird. "Restraints, I believe, would be in order," he
says, moving around the table with his head cocked as though one eye scans the
shallows for fish.
Raithe produces a couple of white plastic
stripcuffs. "Sit still a moment, Caine." Moving so slowly and
deliberately that it doesn't even occur to me to resist, he uses one to strap
my left wrist to the arm of the sedan chair and pulls it tight.
"Hey, c'mon,
Raithe," I say, frowning. "Friends are friends, but even my wife doesn't
get to tie me up ..." I try to make it sound like a joke, but some of that
slime-snake feeling is crawling back down my throat. It's pressing on my lungs
now, making my breath come short. I'd like to laugh, but it might come out a
kind of nervous bleat—then I'd know that I really am as frightened as I'm
afraid I might be, and I'm nowhere near ready for that.
He loops the other stripcuff around my right wrist
and chair arm and pulls that one tight as well. Now Garrette picks up a pile of
small white cardstock rectangles from the table and consults the one on top.
"All right," he murmurs, nodding to himself He looks at me. "I
believe we're ready to begin."
I find myself compulsively testing the strength of
the stripcuffs. "What the fuck is going on here?"
Garrette hefts the stack of cardstock. "I have
some very specific instructions here, Hari, which I intend to follow as precisely
as possible, as is my way. I confess that I don't see the use of most of
them, but I suppose it's not really important that I should. The primary
instruction is that I should make you comprehend your position fully and
clearly."
"You're off to a goddamn running start."
He
exposes a mouthful of teeth that seem too big and square and white for his
thin-boned face. "Your Excellency?"
Raithe opens a small knapsack that I don't remember
seeing him pick up. From inside it he pulls a shimmery wad of wire that he then
shakes out into a net. With a dull shock, I realize it's made of silver mesh,
just like the one I used on Ma'elKoth at Victory Stadium, all those years ago.
He says, "Do you know what this is, Caine?"
I
shrug; it gulls my wrists tight against the cuffs, so I stop.
Raithe's
smile looks like the edge of a knife. "Do you know what I'm planning to
use it for?"
"Should
I care?"
Now
it's Raithe's turn to shrug, and it's his breath that's coming a little short.
He looks like a virgin getting his first glimpse of nipple. With a matador
flourish, he casts the net over my head.
The net splashes over me like a bucketful of ice
water, a stunning shock that hits too fast to be cold or hot or anything other
than a spastic convulsion of gasping. I go rigid, making ukh ukh guh noises,
and the room blazes white like somebody lit a magnesium flare inside my head
and now somebody else has more of those flares and he's using them to light the
napalm that's spread down my legs and up my back and I'm on fire, all over,
burning with fresh crackling agony and the thick reek of roasted flesh and the
icy stab of alcohol sluiced over charred skin
And the stranger who's standing in front of me in
the scarlet robes of a Monastic Ambassador, face like suede glued in patches to
his skull, he's got a light in his blue-white eyes that looks like it's the
reflection of the flames that gave me these bums.
"Who—"
I force the words out through a
snarl of pain. "Who are you?"
"Don't you know me, Caine?" he says
through teeth exposed by a predator's smile. He leans toward me like he's gonna
take a bite out of my face, then he shoves a hand into my side, eagle-claw
style, pinching the flesh through net and leather, scraping the tunic across
the burned flesh beneath, making me shudder with fresh pain. His voice is low,
and savage, and it smokes like his eyes.
"I'm
your best friend."
3
"Remember
... I remember—" My voice is as ragged as ripping cloth. "I remember
waking up .. '. on the train, and you ... and you—"
"A Charm patterns the energy of your Shell. You
don't have to be conscious," he says through that knife-edge grin.
"Your mind, like your Shell, is a patterning of Flow. In the instant
that I remove this net from you, the Charm pattern on your Shell will gather
Flow, and you will love me as a son, and trust me as a father."
"Why... have you . . done this to me?"
"I believe I can answer that question,"
Garrette says. He rounds the corner of the table and leans his butt against its
edge, giving me one of those Compassionate Looks that Administrators practice
in the mirror and save up to use on somebody they're about to shitcan.
"But before I do, I want you to understand something, on my part. I have
never liked you, Michaelson. You are a disgrace to our entire caste—you have
always pushed our company to serve your ends, instead of properly
serving it; you are selfish, egotistical, and rude. You presume to set your own
judgment above that of your betters. I know, too, that you dislike me, and
always have. That being said, however, I would like to assure you that I take
no joy in this task. This is not personal, Michaelson."
The pain-sweat beaded on my forehead rolls into one
eye, stinging, and for a second that tiny increase of agony nearly drives me
over the edge. It's all I can do not to howl like a wounded dog; instead I grit
my teeth and pretend to smile. "You're only . . . following orders,
right?"
"I
try to honorably acquit the duties that are assigned to me; Garrette agrees
stiffly. "Nothing personal, yes?"
"Fuck nothing personal ... Everything's
personal." I point my chin toward Raithe, at that dark hunger that
fills his face as he watches my pain. I don't know why, or where he gets it
from, but I can see the hate rolling off him like heatshimmer off sun-baked
asphalt. "Ask him. He knows. I can see it."
Raithe's
gaze never wavers; he's drinking me in like he's a desert and I'm a storm. He
says, "Get on with it"
"Well, then. All right." Garrette clears
his throat and consults the top card again. "The first thing you need to
know, Michaelson, is that we are going to kill your wife."
I knew it was coming, but it still hits me like a
kick in the balls. I keep smiling; what the fuck, why not? I can barely feel my
balls anyway. "You're gonna try."
"Mmm, yes. And succeed. And you are going to
help us."
"And then you woke up."
"You will be taken to the Cutter Mountain
spring, and washed in its water. This will attract the attention of Pallas Ril.
When she arrives, she will die."
"She's not that easy to kill."
"You
will, I believe, be surprised."
He
looks at me for a little bit, like he's expecting an answer, but all I do is
stare at the pulse throbbing alongside his windpipe, and show him my teeth.
He
coughs delicately into his hand, then goes on. "You will also be
interested to know that in dying, she will assume full culpability for the HRVP
outbreak. The story is already planted: the outbreak was a terrorist action by
Pallas Ril herself, intended to inflame public sentiment against the Overworld
Company."
"Bullshit.
Nobody's gonna believe that."
"Of
course they will. We have documents proving that she had a .. . prior
relationship--a romantic entanglement, I believe it will be called, with
one Administrator Kerry Voorhees—"
"The
head of Biocontainment? But Voorhees is a woman—"
"And,"
Garrette says with a professorial gleam, "a lesbian, yes. This was thought
to be a particularly salient twist. Ms. Voorhees will be, shall we say,
overcome with guilt? And her suicide note will contain a full confession that
implicates Pallas Ril. Ms. Voorhees—with the collusion of some convenient
eco-terrorist group which we will credibly create—also set the trap which
nearly took the life of Tan'elKoth and yourself. Which you escaped in such a
superlatively gripping fashion—I've seen the recording already. It will make
arresting entertainment."
"It
doesn't make sense," I tell him. "Why would—"
"It
doesn't have to make sense,' Garrette says clinically. "In fact, it's
better if it doesn't make sense, especially if it is sufficiently dramatic—you
should understand that as well as anyone, Hari. This way, dozens of
conflicting theories will dominate the netshows for weeks, months, or even
years. And some of those theories will be more reasonable, more probable—will
make more sense—than the truth. This is the actual social purpose of
conspiracy theories. If someone does happen to uncover the truth, the truth
will be relegated to the ranks of the crank conspiracies, no more likely than
any of the rest. The perfect camouflage."
"But
Pallas' fans will never accept—"
Garrette
waves all objections aside. "Pallas Ril has gone insane, don't you
see? The pressures of her enormous power have driven her over the edge into
madness. It is a cultural tradition: Men of great power become gods; women of
great power go insane and become destroyers—who must in turn be destroyed by
the men who love them. The public is primed already to believe it; this has
been a running theme of a certain type of popular entertainment for three
hundred years."
"Nobody's
gonna believe it," I repeat, but I don't sound so sure anymore.
He
turns his palm upward, purses his lips, and sighs with a hint of mild
melancholy: a man who's seen it all, and is somewhat saddened by how
ordinary it was. "Most people will believe any tale, no matter how silly,
unlikely, or outrageous, so long as it agrees with stories they were told as
children," he says apologetically.
The
sickening truth of this leaves an ugly wormwood taste in my mouth.
"And
in the end, they will believe"—Garrette goes on slowly, with a kind of
mincing, sadistic delicatezza, as though he can hurt me more by breaking
it to me gently—"because you believe."
I
spend a second or two trying to swallow the clot of cold oatmeal that used to
be my heart; before I can gag it back down into place, Garrette goes on.
"I suppose," he says with the salacious smile of someone about to
share a bit of particularly juicy gossip, "you haven't yet realized that
you're on-line."
Another
of those mag flares goes off inside my head, and the room begins to white out
around the edges again. I did know—I must have known, somehow; I
was monologuing without even thinking about it.
Shit,
I still am.
"Don't
worry about your audience, Hari. You have no audience. I daresay the Studio has
learned its lesson about allowing you a live forum."
He
lifts a black valise-sized case from behind the table he's using as a desk. It
has a couple of handles that look like they're brass, or maybe gold-plated. He
sets it on the table and turns it around so that a black glassy rectangle like
a deskscreen faces me. "I don't think you're familiar with the device that
this unit is based on," he says. "The locals call it the Artan
Mirror. It's remarkably similar in concept to a palmpad, but it's adapted to
work on Flow instead of quantum electromagnetism. The point is that this
particular unit is powered by a griffinstone; as long as the griffinstone
remains, mm ... charged, I suppose the word would be ... this unit will record
transmissions from your thoughtmitter. This is something of a refinement on the
Long Form; since the recording takes place in a separate unit, we won't have to
worry about recovering your head after you are executed. In fact, this unit is
magically resonance-locked to a similar one back in Thorncleft, at the
Railhead, so that, even though you are on freemod, a certain select group of
Earthside—shall we say, auditors?—can follow these events in real time.
Including, I believe, your former Patron, Leisureman Vilo."
The
flares in my skull get brighter, and their hissing pushes Garrette's voice out
to where it sounds thin, metallic, like he's talking from very, very far away,
with his head in an aluminum garbage can. "You may say and
do whatever you wish; the appropriate material will be spliced with the
security video of your rescue of Tan'elKoth—which will open the tale with a
bang, as they say. Anything of which the Board doesn't approve will be edited
out of the final version."
Edited
.. .
The
final version
Garrette
and Raithe both lean back, arms identically folded, while they watch me begin
to understand. They're gonna use me to bait out Shanna, so that I have to watch
her die. They'll make a recording.
And
they'll sell it.
Both
of them disappear into the white blaze behind my eyes, and for a time there is
nothing but rage.
4
"That
must have stung a bit, but your burns are feeling better now, aren't
they?" Raithe folds up the net and puts it back into the little purse it
came from.
I
nod. "Yeah, Raithe. Thanks."
My
best friend leans toward me and puts his warm hand on my arm, while with the
other he cuts away the white plastic stripcuffs that bind my wrists to the arms
of my chair. "Now, we wouldn't want to talk about anything that's happened
in this room, would we? That would only upset you, and everybody else."
"You're
right," I tell him, nodding again. He's really perceptive, that way; he
seems to understand things about me even before I do.
"And
you don't even want to think about that. You'd better just think about
the job you have to do; you should forget about everything said here, until I
let you know it's all right. I mean, all that thinking—that would only upset
you, too. And we don't want you to be upset, do we?"
"No,
Raithe. We sure don't want that," I say, giving his shoulder a grateful
squeeze with my now-freed hand. "Thanks, kid. You're the best. I sure am
lucky to have a friend like you—that's the best luck I've ever had."
A
thin smile flickers through his ice-colored eyes.
"Luck?
No. Not luck," he says. "It was destiny."
5
The
crater is maybe a hundred yards across, a circular depression near the top of a
hill only a quarter mile beyond the lights of Palatine. I'm thinking it
might be an impact crater from something like a meteorite; I'm no geologist,
but I don't think these mountains are volcanic, and anyway, I don't think a
volcanic crater would be this regular—it's shaped like a parabolic reflector.
Stars
shine down on the barren crater. All the trees and bushes and grass and shit
have been burned to twisted crusty bits of char, scorched down to the bare
black dirt—and recently, too, maybe just this afternoon; the whole place still
reeks of kerosene.
Down
in the center of the bowl is some jointed steel scaffolding a few yards high,
supporting two platforms, one under the other. On the lower platform is the guy
who's doing the ritual; he's got an altar there, and some chickens and goats
and other small cheap bits of living sacrifice: the opening acts. He's naked,
but sweating tonight—even in the midnight chill of the mountains—because on the
ground underneath him is a broad pit of glowing coals where he tosses the
animals once they've been cut and bled.
I
can see the grimace on his face. He's new at this, and I think the blood has
him a little weirded out. He keeps on chanting, though; the kid has heart. I
can barely hear his voice over the nervous clucks and frightened bleating from
the animals; and what I hear I cannot understand. This chant is not exactly
language—at least, not a human language.
Also
beside him on the lower platform is another young man—about the same age—who is
only now starting to stir and wake from a drugged sleep to find that he is
naked, and that his hands and feet are bound with thin slicing twists of
unbreakable wire.
"Greg?"
he says, looking up at the young man who kneels before the altar. From fifty
yards away, his voice comes faintly. "Greg, what's going on? What are you
doing? Why am I tied up?" He's still more puzzled than he is frightened.
That'll
change.
He
speaks in English. I'm sure that's significant, but right now I can't remember
why.
Five
tall oil torches blaze around the scaffolding, set on iron poles in a ring
about midway between the crater's rim and the pit of glowing coals. Between the
poles is strung a network of thick wire cable, bare strands gleaming in the
torchlight. The wire crosses from one pole to another, suspended above the
barren, blackened earth, and then around the circumference of all five. From
where I sit in my sedan chair, at the crater's rim, the wire and the five torch
holders that suspend it clearly form a specific design, scaffold at its center.
A
pentagram.
Alone
on the top platform, naked to the indifferent moon, lies the corpse of Berne.
The wig that had covered his naked skull is gone; his chest and groin have been
shaved. Intricate swirling designs spider across his bare dead flesh, painted
stripes that shimmer like metal in the moonlight.
The
guy on the lower platform cuts the throat of a squalling cat, turning its
screech into a hacking parody of coughing out a furball—and tosses it, still
alive, into the coals below. A couple of the friars who carried my chair here
have to turn away; animal lovers, I guess.
All
four of the secmen around me—the Artan Guard, I mean—face the crater,
watching. Their faces are invisible behind their smoked face shields with the
silver antimagick inlays—this reminds me with sharp discomfort of the Social
Police. I can't say exactly why this bothers me so much.
Something
about the Social Police—that's part of what I can't seem to remember.
At
my shoulder, Raithe stares down avidly into the crater, licking a thin sheen of
sweat off his upper lip. Garrette, on my opposite flank, just looks impatient.
He's carrying Berne's sword, Kosall, strapped across his back—probably so much
magick bound up in the blade that it would fuck up the ritual if it were down
in the crater. The scabbard harness looks ridiculous over his Artan Viceroy
getup, and he keeps running his fingers along beneath its straps like it's
chafing him pretty badly.
Christ,
I hope so.
Down
in the crater: "Greg, don't—what are you doing?" the tied-up kid
asks. His eyes are so wide I can see the whites of them from here.
Many,
many years ago, when I was first starting out in the business, I took a job
doing collections for the Working Dead in Ankhana; the job turned a little
ugly, and I got the chance to see a couple of my recently deceased accounts
settle their debts by having their corpses put out to work. This does not look
like any Animate spell I've ever seen, and I say so.
Garrette
nods, and he consults his little stack of cards. "This is not, strictly
speaking, a spell," he says, in an odd tone that struggles uncomfortably
to be clinical. He looks into my eyes briefly, then coughs into his hand and
adjusts his cravat like a nervous victim of an ambush interview on the nets.
"The,
ah, er, metals content of the rock in this crater acts rather like a Flow
reflector," he reads. "An, er, Outside Power is attracted by a
combination of the chanting, the magickal resonances of the Flow field within
the cable pentagram, and, of course, the, ah, er, emanations of pain and terror
that young Prohovtsi elicits from his sacrificial subjects. When
it—the Outside Power—comes close to feed, the crater acts to concentrate
it, and to direct its concentrated energies at the focal point; that is, er,
the young fellow doing the ritual. So Prohovtsi effects the transfer of
consciousness—a, mmm, kiss of life, you might say, to the corpse of, ah, Saint
Berne on the upper platform."
"A
demon ..." I say slowly, weighing the word in my mouth, feeling its shape.
"You're going to feed my wife to a demon. I'm not sure how I feel about
this."
"Hush,"
Raithe murmurs. "You're interrupting his exposition." He uses
the English term with a small thin smile, as though he's faintly pleased with
himself for knowing it.
"Hmp,"
Garrette grunts, reading ahead. "Interesting."
Down
in the crater, Greg Prohovtsi stabs the goat below the ribs, rakes his blade
down to part hide and flesh all the way to its pelvic girdle, and tosses it
into the coals. Its guts trail behind, looping across the platform, leaving a
broad swath of bloody slime. It worries me a little that I know his name—where
do I know him from? And the other guy, the kid tied up beside him on the
platform, his voice sounds familiar
Garrette
looks up from his cards. "You might find this interesting, Michaelson. It
says here that Outside Powers—demons, as you call them—aren't actually strictly
sentient. Like Chambaraya itself, they are really rather inchoate; merely, mm,
`energy fields of roughly confluent tropisms, that acquire sentience and will
only through interaction with a living nervous system: Mmm, quite a phrase,
that. Berne's corpse will thus be roughly analogous to Pallas Ril herself: an
avatar of a greater power---a `focal node of consciousness,' as it says here.
The, er, demon, though, is power of an entirely different order, to which
Pallas—Chambaraya, both of them—will be entirely blind."
"Yeah,"
I tell him heavily. "Interesting. Y'know what? You talk just like fucking
Tan'elKoth."
"Do
I?" Garrette says with a little smile. He squares the notecards against
his palm. "Well, well."
Down
on the platform, Prohovtsi chants louder as he drags the other guy toward the
edge of the platform. "Greg, please ..." the tied-up kid begs.
He's sobbing now, crying his guts out. "Please, Greg, Jesus Christ,
you can't do this! Greg, for God's sake, we went through school together,
through the Conservatory, Jesus Christ, you never would have passed
Westerling—"
"Students,"
I mutter. "They're both magick students."
Yeah,
that's it: that's Nick Dvorak, out of Tan'elKoth's Applied Ma gick
seminar. The other guy, Greg Prohovtsi, was in the same class--the one I
interrupted, just the other day, when I first found out about all this .. .
Is
that significant? Why can't I pull shit together in my head? Why do I have this
feeling that I'm still forgetting something?
Prohovtsi
doesn't seem to hear Dvorak's plea; his eyes are rolled backward, up into his
head, and he keeps on chanting as he drags Dvorak right to the edge. I wince—this
is a little cold-blooded, even for me. "Human sacrifice?" I ask.
Raithe
nods clinically. "Student thaumaturges are ideal for these operations:
their Shells are well developed, powerful enough to attract a greater Outside
Power, but they don't yet have the necessary skills to defend themselves."
"Besides,"
Garrette adds, "it's great theater."
Prohovtsi
doesn't stick the kid; he just steps over him and shoves him off the platform
with his foot. Dvorak tumbles screaming into the pit of coals. It's only about
a ten-foot drop, not even enough to really stun him; it knocks the breath out
of his lungs for a few seconds, but pretty soon he gets enough air to start
screaming again. He rolls around in the coals, flopping and bucking and trying
to throw himself out of the pit, but he doesn't really have a chance, not with
wrists and ankles tied together. He's already so badly burned he'd die anyway,
even if he could get out.
His
skeletal muscles shut down pretty soon, leaving him helplessly twitching. His
flesh goes loose and brown as he roasts, the subcutaneous fat boiling out
through cracks in his skin, through. the wire cuts on his wrists and ankles;
the liquids in his abdominal cavity boil to a high enough pressure that his
belly finally bursts.
Now
Prohovtsi stiffens. Cords stand out in his neck, drawing down the corners of
his mouth. Moving slowly, stiffly, kind of jerkily, like a marionette operated
by a clumsy child, he begins to climb up to the upper platform to join Berne's
naked corpse.
I
can't quite shake this frown—it's giving my forehead a cramp. Something's been
bugging me ever since I woke up on the train, and finally I decide to just go
ahead and ask. "Y'know," I say, casual, noncommittal, "this all
feels a little weird to me. Ever have one of those dreams where you're doing
things and you just can't remember why? I took a knock or two on the head—I
don't know, I could have a little concussion or something—and I can't make
things make sense. You think you can help me out?"
"Of
course," Raithe says. "That's why I'm here. To put your mind at
ease."
"All
right, good. Now, just let me go through this. So: Pallas did the HRVP thing
herself, right?"
"Yes."
"To
embarrass the, ah, the Artans. Make them look bad, so they'll have to stop digging
up the mountains and shit like that, right?"
He
nods. "Exactly."
"Where
do you come into this?"
"Me?"
"Yeah.
The Monasteries. How does a Monastic Ambassador end up as an Overworld
Company—" I avoid saying flunky; I don't want to hurt his feelings.
"—insider?"
He
exchanges a brief glance with Garrette, who is frowning and coming a little
closer. "Your company approached us directly, asking for our help,"
Raithe says smoothly. "You're aware of Monastic expertise in dealing with
fractious gods—as you yourself must know, Jhantho the Founder fought in his
brother Jereth Godslaughterer's Revolt. The Monasteries were originally founded
upon a principle of opposing the willful interference of deities in human
affairs, since it is so often to the detriment of the race as a whole."
He
spreads his hands, and does his best to look wise and benign—not easy for a
twenty-five-year-old with the face of a fanatic mujahedeen warrior, all leather
skin and pale sun-bleached eyes. "We of the Monasteries are educated men,
Caine. We are not swayed by the superstition of the masses. In the past, we
might have resisted the Company, since it is so closely linked with the Aktiri—but
not because we ever actually believed Aktiri to be demons.
Demons—" He nods down into the bowl. Prohovtsi now lies on the upper
platform, his naked limbs entangled with those of Berne's corpse; he kisses its
cold dead lips. "—are something quite different, indeed. And now, the
Monasteries and the Company share a common goal, a common interest: to save humanity—and
the world—from the depredation of an insane goddess."
"Yeah,
okay, I get it," I say. "I guess I'm just having trouble remembering
how you talked me into helping you."
Garrette
turns wide eyes upon Raithe. "You swore there was no way—"
My
best friend stops him with a gesture like a bladehand chop to the throat, and
smiles down on me. "I'm not sure what you mean, Caine," he says
neutrally.
I
shrug. "It's kind of embarrassing, really. Can you run down the logic for
me, one more time? Why did I decide to help you kill my wife?"
"Logic?"
Garrette bleats incredulously. "What logic? What choice do you
have?"
"Well,
y'know," I say, spreading my hands, a little sheepish at being so obvious,
"there's always a choice--"
"This
is ridiculous! Raithe, make him—"
That
chopping bladehand becomes a warning finger pointed at Garrette's eye; Raithe
isn't smiling anymore. He stares at me with chilly interest, as though I'm some
kind of unusual and possibly dangerous bug. "It's the only way to save the
world," he says.
"Save
the world from what?"
"From
Pallas Ril. From HRVP."
"See,
I can't quite figure out what sense that makes."
Raithe's
eyes seem to retreat into his face, and his voice becomes blankly cautious.
"You can't?"
"Well,
it seems to me, if she's threatening the whole world to stop the OC from
mining," I say reasonably, "all you have to do is stop mining and
she'll stop threatening. Doesn't that make more sense?"
"Stop
mining?" Garrette is so astonished he can barely even sputter.
"Do you have any idea how much that would cost?"
"Shut
up, you idiot!" Raithe snaps, but it's too late.
"You're
telling me that I decided your profits are more important than Shanna's life?
Don't you think that's a little, mmm—" I say mildly, "—unlikely?"
For
a long second or two, the only sounds are the distant lover's moans from the
platform in the crater, and the tiny snaps and zips from the Artan Guard—the
look on Garrette's face has them checking their weapons. "Uh—" His
panicked eyes appeal to Raithe.
"No,
no, no, that's not it at all," my best friend says smoothly. "She's mad,
Caine. Stopping these operations wouldn't have any effect; she's gone
completely insane, remember?"
"Yeah.
Doesn't seem like a very good reason to kill her."
For
a moment, Raithe appears entirely at a loss; he looks at Garrette, Garrette
looks at him, and neither of them says anything.
I
put out a hand and touch Raithe's arm. "Relax, kid. I'm not saying you did
anything wrong. This just might be a little ... hasty, don't you think?
Maybe I should try talking to her, first."
"No—no,
it's too dangerous, Caine," Raithe says firmly. "She's too
dangerous. She must be destroyed—now, while we still can. It's the only way to
be sure."
"To
be sure of what?"
"To
be sure," he says with thinly concealed impatience, as though
he's tired of explaining the obvious but doesn't want to insult me,
"that she never again threatens the Future of Humanity."
The
way he pronounces the capitals deepens my frown. "Okay, I get it. You're
saying that I agreed to help you kill her, because it was the only way to save
the human race. Is that it?"
"Well
. . . yes," he says thinly, sounding a little uncertain, but he
must like the way it came out, because he says it again; this time, as though
he means it. "Yes. The Future of Humanity depends on you, Caine."
And
for a second or two I can feel it: I can feel all those lives piled onto
my back. I can feel the weight of the future cracking my spine like the lower
rim of a glacier, crumbling under the billion tons above.
But
I
sigh, and shake my head, and my shoulders straighten, and then they twitch in a
tiny involuntary shrug. "The Future of Humanity," I say to Raithe
apologetically, "is gonna have to fuck off."
Together,
in perfectly blank unison, Raithe and Garrette say, "What?"
"It's
too abstract," I say uncomfortably. My hands turn over, supplicating
comprehension, if not sympathy. "It's ... impersonal, y'know? The
`generations yet unborn' shit doesn't swing any weight with me. I'm supposed to
murder my wife for the sake of people I probably wouldn't even like?"
"But
but—"
I
wiggle a thumb at the Viceroy. "What if I save these people, and most of
them turn out to be just like Garrette?" I say, and shudder. "Eeugh.
Better we all die."
"You
can't do this," Raithe says.
"That's
exactly what I'm saying: I can't do this. I won't."
"No—no,
I mean you can't—"
"Sure
I can. Why can't I?"
"Because—because
..." He struggles with the words, as though he's trying to find a way
around something that he knows he shouldn't say. "Because you promised,"
he says finally. "You swore it to me, Caine."
"Sorry,"
I say simply, and mean it. "I hate to disappoint you, kid, but you're
gonna have to find a way to do it without me."
Garrette
snorts. "So much for your damned magick powers," he says to Raithe.
"This
is impossible," Raithe says, his brow furrowed. He leans over me,
staring fixedly, as though he can compel me with his bleached eyes. "I'm asking
you, Caine. Me, Raithe. Do this for me."
"Hey,
kid, friend or not, you don't really want to push me on this." Raithe's
mouth works speechlessly, then he simply shakes his
head. "Amazing," he says, sighing a surrender that seems to be
inexplicably mixed with some sort of reluctant admiration. And now, as I look
at him, I feel like I'm awakening from a dream—my burns are starting to howl,
and some vague recollections of a conversation back in a hotel in Palatine
begin to organize themselves behind my eyes.
My
heart smokes, but I smile.
No
reason to give them any more warning than I have already.
6
"This
is useless, Raithe," Garrette says. "Now we do it my way."
"Your way?" I ask him.
"Your
cooperation," Garrette says thinly, "would be appreciated, but
it is not precisely necessary. We'll simply tie you up and throw you into the
stream. I'm sure your wife will arrive in time to save your life."
Raithe
looks grim. "Perhaps not directly in the stream, but on its bank. Should
he drown before she arrives, she may not come at all. His value as bait is tied
to his life; dead, he's useless.".
"On
the bank, then." Garrette adjusts the straps of Kosall's harness yet again
and looks down into the crater impatiently. "What's taking them so damned
long? This harness is killing me."
Dead,
I'm useless?
The
decision doesn't even take a full second. I don't mind dying. I've had a long
time to get used to the idea. Coming up with a plan takes even less time.
It's
not that hard to make someone kill you.
I
turn a gentle smile up toward Garrette. "Did you ever follow my Acting
career, Vinse?" I ask in a friendly sort of way.
"I
... am familiar with your work," Garrette says stiffly, looking a bit
puzzled. "Never a fan; I don't care for violence."
"Maybe
you can answer a trivia question anyway. What do you say? A little Caine
trivia, to pass the time while you're waiting for your demon."
"I
hardly—"
"What,"
I ask, finger lifted pedantically, "is the average lifespan of assholes
who threaten Pallas Ril?"
"Are
you threatening me?" Garrette says, taking a step closer to my right side.
"You? The cripple? Are you mad? You can't even stand up!"
"Okay,
I admit it: trick question," I tell him as I lean toward him, twisting to
take his wrist with my left hand. Before he quite realizes how much trouble
he's in, I yank his wrist to straighten his elbow into an arm bar and pull
him across me, levering his face down toward my lap, then I snake my left
around his throat and grab hold of the strap of Kosall's harness; the blade of
my left wrist makes a judo choke across his larynx, levering against the
pressure of my right elbow on the back of his shoulder. "Tell you one
thing, though. You're gonna lower the curve."
The
Artan Guards all yell things about stopping and letting him go and shit like
that, and I hear a bunch of ratcheting clicks as they prime their
assault rifles and point them at me. For one second I tense, expecting the
world to vanish in a blaze of muzzle flashes and hammering slugs.
But
instead Raithe shouts, "Stop! Don't shoot!"
Garrette
scrabbles at my legs with clawed fingers, but I don't have much feeling there
anyway. His throat works desperately against my choke; the back of his neck is
bright red and he's starting to convulse, and still the bastards aren't
shooting
"Don't
you see it's a trick?" Raithe says calmly. "It's a complicated form
of suicide: he wants you to shoot him." He compresses his mouth
like a disappointed schoolmaster. "We need Caine alive more than we
do Garrette."
He
shrugs, and sighs. "Sorry, Vinse."
Well,
crap.
On
the other hand, that's no reason to let him live.
A
friar says something that I don't catch, and Raithe answers, "Certainly.
But Caine must not be slain. You're welcome to hurt him all you like."
A
burly arm comes over my shoulder; I tuck my chin and squeeze my arms against my
sides to keep him from getting a choke on me like the one I'm using on
Garrette; his forearm clamps across my face just below the cheekbone in a
thoroughly professional neck crank that hurts like a sonofabitch and is gonna
separate my cervical vertebrae if he doesn't slack up. "Let him go,"
he growls into my ear in Westerling, tightening the neck crank gradually, to
give me plenty of time to think about what my life would be like if my arms
were as dead as my legs are.
"Yeah,
sure, what the fuck," I grunt through the pain.
One
sharp twist levers my wrist against Garrette's throat hard enough to crack his
voice box. I release him and he jerks backward, gagging on his own blood, and
as he straightens I get both hands on Kosall's hilt in the scabbard behind his
shoulder.
The
enchanted blade buzzes to unstoppable life.
It
slices out through the scabbard, parting it like soft cheese, and deep into
Garrette's shoulder. He staggers away, spurting blood, clutching
his throat, making sounds like khk ... khk . . . khk The friar at
my back curses sharply when he sees the blade humming around toward his head;
the arm that had clamped my face slips away. He must have dropped to the
ground, because I don't feel the blade meet any resistance as I wave it around
behind my chair.
Garrette
looks at me, blood jetting from the gaping wound in his shoulder, his voice
strangled by his broken larynx, his eyes wide with horror. I shrug.
"Nothing personal, Vinse."
For
a moment, we're at a standoff. Everyone stays back; the Artan Guards have their
rifles leveled, but they don't want to shoot me, and nobody is willing to get
within reach of Kosall.
And
I sure as hell can't go anywhere.
Garrette
teeters on the crater's rim. He's still standing, but his knees tremble, going
rubbery he doesn't have long to live. Nobody but me pays any attention to him
at all.
"Caine,
put the sword down," Raithe orders, and he must be enforcing that order
with some kind of power; invisible fingers pluck at my will. "Put it down,"
he repeats, and my hand loosens. His eyes reflect starfire, and he steps
closer. "That's it. Drop the sword."
"One
more step—" I tell him, raising the blade. It's covered with some kind of
unfamiliar design: runes painted in silver. "—and I'll drop it right down
your fucking throat."
The
runes on the blade seem to take the fire out of his eyes, and he
retreats.
What
the fuck do I do now?
Before
I can decide
Like
a maggot crawling froth the mouth of a dead man, Berne's corpse climbs over the
lip of the crater.
7
The
corpse rises: a slow unfolding like cereus opening toward the stars. Painted
designs like Celtic knots of metal spiral across its naked flesh and catch the
moonlight in golden shimmers. The stitching that closes its belly where my
knife had opened him up looks like a steel zipper; lacking the wig that had
topped it when it was on display, the crown of its head is all exposed bone,
skin fixed to skull with aluminum staples around the vanished hairline. In the
center of the top of its skull is the jagged gap where my little leafblade went
in—no reason to patch it on a dead man—and within I can see something glassy
and black, as though the preservative gas turned what's left of Berne's
brain to obsidian. When it finally lifts its head, its dead eyes quest blankly,
fastening on nothing, wheeling with the generalized slow threat of a snapping
turtle waving open jaws through water impenetrable with murk.
Somehow
it holds us, all of us, even the secmen: we can only watch, breathless. Down on
the platform, Prohovtsi lies motionless: unconscious or dead, no way to tell
from here. The corpse of Berne stretches out its arms, fingers waving like the
tentacles of anemones clutching at half-sensed prey.
Garrette,
dying, twists away from it, spraying blood from the deep gash that opens his
shoulder. Blood splashes the corpse's face, and a dark meaty tongue darts out,
lizardlike, to lap it away. Something in the taste brings light into its eyes.
I
don't even see its hand move—somehow, instantly, it has Garrette by the
unwounded shoulder in an unbreakable grip. Garrette's grunting turns to a long
splintery hkkkkkkkk—which I can only guess is his attempt to scream—as
it pulls him into a lover's embrace. The demon-ridden corpse latches onto
Garrette's face with teeth opened to a jaw-cracking yawn, covering the
Viceroy's mouth with its own: a rapist doing CPR.
Demons
feed on pure Flow, but the only kind they like is Flow tuned to the specific
frequencies of anguish, terror, and despair by the Shell of a living creature.
Usually, they lurk around in their incorporeal way, kind of like vultures,
circling and waiting for something to suffer, unable to do much more than nudge
a depressive's Shell toward a darker mood, that kind of thing. The chance to
actually inflict pain and death—which goes along with inhabiting a
physical form—must be quite a treat.
The
demon that animates Berne looks like it's having a good time, anyway: the
corpse has a hard-on like a raw bratwurst the size of my forearm.
Garrette
is screaming into the corpse's open mouth.
The
corpse's free hand shreds Garrette's clothing, stripping him naked while he
still lives—then keeps on clawing at him, ripping away jagged scraps of flesh,
tearing into his belly to yank whole handfuls of muscle out of his guts.
Garrette's bowels let go, flooding their intertwined legs with shit, but the
corpse doesn't seem to notice. It drives its hand through the Viceroy's ravaged
abdominal wall, blood gushing over its forearm as the fingers go in, and then
the wrist, and then it slides the arm in like a penis, reaching up toward
Garrette's heart.
And
somehow I know what it's doing. I know I'm right.
Cardiac
massage.
It's
manually pumping Garrette's heart, to keep the brain alive, to keep it
sending out those frequencies of pain and terror and despair. I can't imagine what
it must feel like to Garrette—the inconceivable intensity of such violation—and
I sure as hell never want to find out.
Finally
Garrette's struggles fade into nerveless 'spastic twitching, and the demon
casts his body down into the crater, one-handed: a kid tossing away a
licked-clean popsicle stick. Berne's corpse stretches like a sleepy cat, and
its eyes now fix upon me with impersonal malice.
From
its open mouth comes a mineral clacking like rocks knocking together. The clacking
stops for a moment as the dead chest fills with air—lacking the breathing
reflex, it hadn't inhaled before trying to speak. Now the clacking returns,
gets faster and faster, becoming a stutter, gradually developing into a dry,
inhumanly passionless voice. "You havvvve my sworrrrd."
It's
not Berne. It's not him inside that body at all—I can keep telling myself that,
but the look in its eyes and the sound of its voice sucks at my strength in a
way that Raithe's commands could not. I can't even hold Kosall up anymore, and
when Raithe steps close, one hand taking the pommel and the other levering
between my forearms to twist my wrists in a very efficient aikido-style disarm,
I don't even try to resist.
The
demon turns to Raithe. "It waszzz dyinnnnng." It must be
talking about Garrette. "I hungerrrr. Not-t-t-t a violationnnnn?"
Raithe
shrugs, and mumbles what sounds like the Westerling version of Waste not,
want not. He goes fearlessly to face the demon, reverses Kosall, and offers
the hilt to its dead hand. "You understand your task?"
Idiot
fucking moron motherfucking idiot—!
I
could have killed myself with the fucking sword. I could have swung it
at my own head
But
I didn't think of it in time.
The
corpse takes Kosall by the hilt—and its blade does not buzz, with-out the grip
of a living hand to trigger its enchantment. The demon lifts it, examining the
gleam of moonlight along its edge and the liquid shimmer of the runes painted
on the blade from quillons to razor point. "Pallasss Rilllll," the
demon clicks, and some abstract image of remembered lust around its eyes makes
me wonder if there might not be some of Berne in there after all. And suddenly,
without transition, the demon's right in front of me. Its eyes glitter
like marbles—which I guess they might be—and from its throat comes a slow, low
groan like an old, tired lover on the verge of a blood-spurting orgasm.
It
says, "Heyyy, Cainnne."
Deja
vu claws at my throat, twists my guts toward vomiting. This isn't happening.
This has to be some kind of dream.
"Whyyy
donn't youuu runnn? Youuu alllwayszzz used-d-d to runnn," it says, the blade of Kosall rising to exactly the
same angle as its stiffened penis. It leans close enough that I can smell the
remnants of Garrette's blood and the preservative gas on its breath.
"Whazzza mat-terr? Sssommmethinnnng wronnnng with yourrr legszzz?"
Small
sick noises come out of my throat. I try to push myself down into the chair.
Raithe
touches its shoulder. "Pallas Ril," he reminds it firmly. "Hunngerrrr.
Ssshe mussst... die fasst-t-t-?"
"Yes,"
Raithe says firmly. "Swiftly. Instantly. And precisely as you were
instructed; otherwise, she will destroy you herself, without effort."
"Nnnhh.
Hunnnngerrrrrr . . ." Its
voice trails into a mechanical growl like an idling turbine.
"Yes,
I suppose you are," Raithe says thoughtfully, and then his colorless eyes
swing round to me, and he stretches his lips into what he probably thinks looks
like a smile. "And, I think, I have in mind the perfect snack."
8
I
don't know how long it takes the demon to haul me up the mountain. Hours,
probably—an endless nightmare of bouncing facedown over its rock-hard shoulder.
I fade in and out of consciousness, blacking out from pain and fatigue and a
fucking incredible migraine from hanging upside down: like I'm birthing wasps
inside my skull. I puked out the last of whatever was in my guts a long time
ago; now, whenever I wake up I retch and dry-heave until my eyes uncross. When
I cough, I can taste blood.
And
the goddamn sword keeps knocking me in the eye. They found another scabbard
from somewhere and tied Kosall into it before they strapped its harness across
the corpse's back. I twist my wrists against the thin unbreakable strap of the
stripcuffs that bind them together behind my back; it slices through the flesh,
and blood trails down my inverted arms to the elbow, then trickles up my back
and around my neck to drip along my jaw.
If
I can just get one hand loose, and get hold of Kosall's hilt
The
demon jogs upward at a steady lope. There is no such thing as fatigue for its
dead muscles, which do not rely on chemical reaction for their energy. It
skirts the pass, avoiding the easy road, clambering high up the facing slope of
Cutter Mountain, inhumanly agile among the crags, even with bare toes and single
free hand.
Hanging
down over its shoulder, I can see nearly all of Khryl's Saddle below me. The
crest of the pass has become a rat's nest of rail spurs sprawl ing around
the stark skeletons of a half-completed depot; a customs office roughly marks
the official border between Transdeia and the Ankhanan Empire. There are tents
everywhere, from small two-man wall tents to enormous canopies: a mess hall, a
corrugated machine shed large enough that you could dismantle a pair of steam
locomotives inside it and not get the parts mixed up, latrines, a Company store
and god knows what all.
An
Overworld Company base camp: they're laying rail down the western slope of the
Saddle. Into the Empire. That goddamn rail line looks like a tongue, lapping
out to get a taste of Ankhana.
The
top curve of the sun lifts out of the eastern foothills, sparking a gold
shimmer in my eyelashes. I guess that having this demon burst into flame or
something at the first touch of sunrise was too much to hope for.
High
on the western face of Cutter Mountain—not far below me, now, where I should
have been able to spot the spring—all I can see is a low brick cylinder out of
which runs a long, twisting sluice pipe, new enough that the leaking joints
haven't yet begun to rust. The pipe empties into a slats-and-pitch watertank on
stilts, which in turn sprouts a number of smaller pipes that spider down into
the rising skeleton of the depot.
Down
in the tangle of rails, a shifting crowd of workmen form a long, disorganized
queue—too tired and bleary from a night spent at this elevation even to bother
looking up, where they might see us. Now, at dawn, the construction people have
come stumbling and scratching out of their tents to line up for water from a
spigot-fed trough, churning the soppy earth around it into ankle-deep muck.
That
ankle-deep muck is now the headwaters of the Great Chambaygen.
Raithe
stayed behind, keeping out of the watershed with his secmen—fake secmen,
I realize now. They had to be Social Police in drag, because no secman ever
born—let alone four of them—would have stayed cool through what happened
down there at the crater. Soapy, though, he never gets nervy; the fucking
Apocalypse wouldn't make a soapy blink.
They
have to stay on the far side of the crest of the pass, because Shanna will be
able to feel their hostile intention if they come into her watershed. They'll
be around, though. I don't know what it is about that Raithe fucker—I don't
know why he hates me the way he does—but real hate, bone hate, is something I
understand. He'll be watching.
The
demon carries me northwest, paralleling the wash of wastewater that trails from
the trough to join the overflow from the tank above it. A few minutes' hike
takes us down a quarter mile west of the camp, where the sewage and overflow
reenters the original stream' bed: a small, shallow wash that leads to a tiny
waterfall, tumbling maybe fifteen feet to a rocky pool in a crevice. The demon
carries me carefully around the folds of rock, out of sight of the camp,
moving into the wash beside the stream. The surface of the stream is flattened,
its ripples rounded and smoothed and thick with grease, and the water smells of
urine and sulphur.
The
demon clambers down the rocks beside the falls, then tosses me onto the jagged
stone like a sack of dead cats. Hands cuffed behind me, useless legs, there's
nothing I can do to break the fall except tuck my head and hope I don't
fracture my skull. My head bounces off the rock, showering stars through my
vision and actually driving off the migraine for about five seconds before it
comes roaring back hard enough to kill a bull.
The
corpse dips one hand into the stream, and tilts it above my face, drizzling the
filthy water across my lips. Then it cups water into its hand again and lifts
it to my brow, letting the slime drip down through my hair, baptizing me with
the foulness the Overworld Company has made of the headwaters of the Great
Chambaygen.
In
seconds, my nerves begin to tingle with a warm here-ness, an odd and
undefinable sensation of being hugged and held and comforted by something
inside me. Scabs peel from my burns as my flesh begins to renew itself.
This
is her way of telling me she's on her way.
Oh,
Christ, if only I could die before she gets here
If
only
And
as scalding tears etch my face like acid, the demon crouches beside me and
begins to feed.
9
Outside
the world Mommy sang with the river; when Faith got too scared, she could
snuggle her head a little deeper into these amazing silky sheets and pull the
covers up over her head and close her eyes and let the music carry her away.
She had been really scared at first, when the man had grabbed her and
Daddy got so angry, but you couldn't stay really scared very long, not with the
river singing in your head.
Cause
the river was always gonna be the river, so there was nothing to be scared of.
Besides,
this was a really amazing house, bigger than home even, and it was in the
middle of Boston, which Faith had never been to before and she hadn't seen very
much of it except from the window of Grandmaman's big car, but she was still
pretty sure that Boston was amazing, too. She didn't mind too much staying here
for a while, because there were all these people who were really really nice to
her all the time, and she didn't have to put away her own clothes or make her
bed or anything. There was an old lady whose name was Laborer Dobson who
didn't seem to have anything to do except follow Faith around and pick up after
her. Laborer Dobson was a pretty nice old lady, though she didn't say much, but
she smiled all the time and didn't seem mean and once already had slipped Faith
a piece of the most amazing candy that was called a chocolate truffle.
Mommy
had been working really really hard on the Overworld sick people, and she'd
been singing the whole time, a new kind of song that Faith didn't recognize but
that she loved all the same. Mommy was content, she was happy, and so Faith was
happy too, even when Laborer Dobson came in and made her get out of bed and get
all dressed up for Sabbath Breakfast. Faith knew it was supposed to be capitals
from the kind of serious way everybody looked when they said it, and from the
dress she was supposed to wear, which was a big white fluffy dress that went
all the way down to the floor, with puffy sleeves and a really amazing satin
shirty kind of thing.
A
couple of Laborers, whose names she didn't know yet, neatened up her room while
Laborer Dobson fixed her hair, and pretty soon she was ready for Sabbath
Breakfast. Laborer Dobson held her hand all the way down the three flights of
really really big curvy stairs, through the front hall to the dining room.
The
dining room was really big, with wood paneling up higher than her head, and
satiny-looking wallpaper above that. The table was really big, too, with
candles on it and everything. Her uncles—whose names she had forgotten
already—and Grandmaman were already sitting down, and there were more Laborers
standing behind each chair with fancy uniforms on and real serious looks on
their faces. Laborer Dobson showed Faith to a place that was set for her with a
special chair, so that when she climbed up into it she was sitting all the way
up at the big table just like a grown-up. She clambered up onto the chair and
suddenly started to giggle.
"Faith,"
Grandmaman said in a mean voice. "Stop that snickering at once."
"Sorry,
Grandmaman," she said, and she put both hands over her mouth to try and
keep her delighted laughter inside.
"What
on Earth has you tickled, child? Share your joke with your uncles. I'm certain
they will enjoy it."
"There
isn't any joke, Grandmaman. I'm just happy."
"Happy?
Of course you are. Coming here to a proper household must be a terrific
relief—"
"Not
your house," Faith said, giggling. "I'm happy because Daddy's
here."
"What?"
"Not
here here," Faith explained. "There here. He's with
Mommy, now." Her golden eyebrows drew together in a puzzled frown.
"But Mommy doesn't seem very happy about it ..
10
The
touch of Hari's lips brought the goddess back to her own individual thread of
melody within the Song of Chambaraya.
Since
the instant she had stepped forth from Ankhana, she had buried herself in
Chambaraya's supernal harmonies, finding within them the infinite mathematical
iteration of her theme: an endless Bach invention upon the semilife of her
countervirus. Her sole distraction had been Faith's distress—her own moment of
maternal weakness—when she had become once again merely Shanna Michaelson, when
she had cast aside her task and stridden at speed toward the nearest transfer
point. But Hari had sworn, through Faith, that he would handle Earth; he had
reminded the goddess that she had her own job to complete. She trusted him.
She
had to.
And
so she had surrendered to the Song, and watched a billion generations of her
creation wheel across her consciousness like a galaxy in which each star is
life itself. She had found her HRVP sample in Kris Hansen, and had cultured it
in her own bloodstream; here as well did she create and culture its cure. At
the close of a billion generations, its chorus still sang sweet and true:
without a single discordant mutation.
But
when Hari touched her now—sharp as a needle in the swollen chancre that her
headwater had become—she felt his pain and his distress. Across the leagues she
touched him with power; she knit his skin and eased his heart, while a pang of
pure dread struck her own. This sensation was so alien to her nature that for a
time she could not identify it, nor could she guess at its source.
Her
daughter's distant counterpoint still chimed-within her melody, happy to be
part of her even in the alien place to which her grandmother had confined her. Faith was not afraid; her
father had promised he would come, had promised to make everything right yet he
had come here, alone, wounded and in pain, leaving Faith in the hands of his
enemies.
And
perhaps, in this, she had found what poisoned her serenity with dread.
The
grace note within Chambaraya's Song that was the physical form of Pallas Ril
arose from its place of contemplation—a sun-dappled glade amidst oak and
walnut, above a willow-lined stream some three days' ride to the south and
east of Ankhana—and sought within the Song a hint of remembered phrase, the
echoed theme of a rocky splashing rapids seven leagues away. She caught that
phrase within herself, and Sang it as the river did; in joining those notes to
the slumberous rhythm of the sunlit glade, she brought them together in space
and time.
One
single stride carried her from the glade to the rapids.
Another
seven leagues away, she found the low susurration of a marsh, rustling with the
laughter of cattails and the subterranean rumble of solemn trees; again, she
melded the disparate melodies into her Song that she might step from the rapids
to the marsh.
In
this manner, she strode the length of the river.
As
she approached, she felt within him pain far beyond any mere insult of the
flesh: terror and cold rage. Horror. Despair.
And
yet around him there was no threat, no danger. She could taste the camp at the
crest of the pass as though its sewage drained into her mouth; she could
faintly hear the cacophony of a thousand lives at the very verge of her
watershed. None within the range of her perception meant him ill—their lives
were merely the baseline of humanity, the all-too-human blind stumble toward
vague dreams of food, sex, and comfort.
What
had he to fear?
Thirteen
steps brought her to a dawn-shadowed slope below the pass men called Khryl's
Saddle: a curve of earth that joined sawtoothed peaks soot-stained to the color
of steel. Within the Song, she found the fundamental trickling chime that was a
small waterfall tumbling into a rocky cleft, its music now driven by the
allegro hammer of Hari's heart. One final reality-warping step brought her to
his side, into the rocky cleft with the waterfall tumbling above her head.
He
lay on his back at the waterfall's foot, half wedged into a crack in the stone
with the spray in his face, his arms bound behind him and a rag tied through
his teeth. He moaned thickly through the rag, and his eyes spoke to hers with
numb, unreasoning horror.
She
knelt beside him, the waterfall's spray cool and welcome across the back of her
neck; even its savor of human waste was not unpleasant, because the grasses and
algaes downstream fed upon it and burgeoned as they never had before. She laid
her hand upon his cheek.
"It's
all right, Hari," she said. "I'm here." She could have built a
voice of birdsong and tinkling water, of the skitter of marmots and the creak
of stones forced open by the roots of grasses and scrub brush, but she spoke instead
with the mouth and throat of Pallas Ril, for the same reason that she pulled at
the knot of the rag tied into his mouth with her fingers, instead of
calling upon her power. Sometimes, even a goddess must use a human touch.
She
understood now his distress: someone had dumped him here to die, and he had
feared that she would not arrive in time to save him. Within herself, she
allowed a gentle, melancholy undernote to enter the harmonies of her Song.
After all these years together, she had never been able to make him understand
that a human life is only an eddy in the current; when that eddy, beautiful but
transitory, unknots itself into the river, nothing is lost. There is nothing
that can be lost.
The
river is eternal.
Tears
streamed down his face, mixing with the greasy film from the waterfall's spray.
She twisted the knot open in the dirty rag that bound his mouth, and he shook
his head aside from her touch, spitting the rag away into the stream with a
convulsive gasp. "Shanna—run," he rasped, his voice jagged as broken
glass. "It's a trap; Run!"
She
smiled. How could he still understand so little? "There is no threat here,
Hari—"
Hari
screamed: a wordless shriek of raw overpowering panic.
It
shocked her, stopped her mouth like a punch. Suddenly, inconceivably, the vague
dread that had troubled her shifted beneath her with a tectonic infrasound
rumble. The planet, of which she was a part, was no longer solid. She
discovered, awe breaking over her like the growing light of the dawn in the
mountains, that she was actually frightened.
Hari
thrashed. His shout came out ripped and bloody as though he vomited barbed
wire: "Shanna goddamn your eyes for once in your fucking life just do
what I say and FUCKING RUN!"
She
stood, and started to turn, and she felt a shock at her shoulder, as though
she'd been struck on the collarbone, sharply but not hard—a slap from a child,
a lick from a switch, nothing more, no real impact, just a cold wave that
passed through her almost too swiftly to be felt, icy wire drawing itself from
that shoulder down at an angle to her ribs on the opposite side. She tried to
finish the turn, to see what had struck her, but now she was falling, sliding
sideways and down and she couldn't feel her legs, she couldn't feel her left
arm, she reached out for the ground with her right and struck hard on the
stone, and flopped faceup--
And
standing over her was a woman wearing her clothes, except it wasn't a woman,
not all of one—it was only a torso with the left arm attached; where the head
and right arm should be was only a gaping wound the size of the whole world,
and as the legs buckled and the headless one-armed torso twisted and crumpled
toward the ground, the jet of heart's blood from the severed aorta fountained
like cabernet spraying from a spinning wine bottle, glittering in the
rising sun, a rainbow that took her breath away with its beauty.
She
thought: That's me. That's my blood.
She
tried to speak, to say Hari--Hari, I'm hurt, you have to help me, but
most of her lungs had been left behind within her collapsing torso. She could
do no more than move her lips and make faint, desperate smacking noises with
her tongue.
Hari,
she tried to say, Hari, please
Then
a man-shaped shadow loomed over her, a huge, powerfully built nude figure in
silhouette against the lacy white clouds of the dawnlit sky. The silhouette
lifted a long broad-bladed sword and reversed its grip upon it, to drive it
downward like a fencepost to be set in hard clay.
Its
point came toward her eyes, and then she saw no more.
II
In
the midst of the customary Shanks family Sabbath Breakfast, with the morning
sun bright through the sheers from the garden outside and the plates still
steaming in the liveried servants' hands, Faith leaped upright from her chair,
pounded the polished mahogany tabletop with her tiny fists—ripping her antique
ivory linen place setting—and shrieked as though rats gnawed her toes.
An
instant later, before anyone in the astonished family could so much as enquire
what might be wrong, she collapsed. In the shocked silence that followed, Avery
clearly, unmistakably heard a plaintive childish whisper from her
granddaughter's lips: "Hari Hari, I'm hurt. You have to help me. Hari,
Hari, please—"
The
servants sprang to her side, and Avery's voice cracked like a whip over their
heads. "Back! Don't touch her. Dobson, get Professional Lieberman
up here instantly."
Faith
was neither choking nor convulsing; while everyone waited for the doctor to
arrive from his rooms in the coach house, Avery's teeth clenched until her ears
rang.
His
name
Bitter,
bitter, most impossibly bitter, that in Avery Shanks' own home, her own
granddaughter had whispered his name.
I2
Right
up to the bitter, bloody end, I keep on thinking that there must be some way out
of this. We've been here so many times—trapped, no way out, no chance to
survive—and we've always done it, we've always pulled it off, against all odds,
against all reason, against all hope. We've always found a way to live.
Through
every second that I've lain here—on this cliff, with the sewage of the
construction camp splashing across my face, with the demon inside Berne's
corpse drinking my horrible aching dread—I have straight-armed despair by
numbering all the times we somehow came through. All the way to the end, I
force myself to believe that Shanna will see the trap, that she'll save me,
that together we'll rescue our child, that my father will still be alive, that
we can all go home again.
That
somehow, I can still get my happy ending.
Then
when she comes and the demon still doesn't strike, I try to speak to her with
my eyes, to reach her with the language of my horror; I try to bite through the
dirty rag that fills my mouth with the taste of dust and human shit.
She
could crumble the rag to its component atoms with the merest gesture; instead
she fumbles at the knot with her too human, too fallible fingertips, and when I
can spit the rag aside and tell her, she still does not believe me, she still
tries to soothe me, and all the furious dread explodes from my throat in a
scream that shuts her down, shuts her up, and I see in her eyes that
she's starting to understand but she's never been fast, that way; it's always
taken her time to adjust her paradigm, to see the unexpected, and this is time
that no wealth at my command can buy her. I rage at her, howling, cursing,
goading her with savage words, anything to get her up, to get her moving,
to get her away: and so she stands, and starts to turn
And
dies, with my curses as her only farewell.
With
a lifeless hand upon its hilt, Kosall gives no rattlesnake buzz of warning. The
corpse appears behind her with that invisible speed, and the blade, too, moves
too fast for the eye: I see the beginning of the stroke, and the end—the arc of
the blade is visible only as a lick of silver flame that tears out her front in
a one-blink flash from collarbone to rib, bisecting one breast
And
half of her falls away from the other half, and I have no breath left to
scream.
The
pieces of my wife fall, and her guts splash out across the rock with the wet
slaps of handfuls of mud hitting a sidewalk. The demon Berne steps over her
headless, one-armed torso, stands over her—her hazel eyes pick up the blue of
the dawn sky, and her perfect lips writhe soundlessly, and her hair gleams with
burnished-walnut flame, and oh my god how am I gonna live, now?
But,
of course, I'm not gonna live for long.
The
corpse lifts the sword high over its head and lets the blade swing down to
vertical. He drives it down like he's staking a vampire, except her heart's
over there somewhere, and the blade with its painted-on runes of silver chops
through her eyes, through her skull, through her brain, and into the stone
beneath her.
The
blade buzzes for one scant second, as though registering the passing of her
life. It slides a handbreadth down into the stone below her riven skull and
sticks fast; the demon releases it, and its hilt waves a slow goodbye in the
breeze alongside the waterfall.
"Yessss,"
the demon murmurs in its
cracked-quartz voice. "Yesss, that'sss it-t-t-t."
It
does that fast thing to reach my side before I really see it move, and those
glass marble eyes open to swallow me whole.
"Yesss,
Cainnnnnne. It'sss allll true."
And
I know what it's talking about. I know what is true.
Other
men, they might ask, Why?
I
know why.
All
this—losing my career, the Abbey, Faith, Dad, and now . . . now .. . this
unspeakable thing—all this happened for a reason. For one simple, inarguable,
inexcusably self-absorbed reason. Because I couldn't sit down and shut up.
Because I'm too fucking stupid to know better. Because I had to do something,
to feel like a man.
Which
are all different ways of saying
I
did this, to everyone and everything that I love, because I had to pretend I
can still be Caine, one last time.
I3
The
demon Berne clasps its enormous erection and swings its leg across me,
straddling my chest like a nightmare goblin, and its other hand strokes my
face.
"I
lovvvve youuuu, Cainnnne."
It
leans toward me like it might bite. Like it might want a kiss. "I lovvvvve
youuuuuu."
And,
you know? I think it's telling the truth.
An
odd, distracted peace settles over me, a hollow sort of oh never mindedness.
The astonishing thing is that in an absent, unexpected way, I'm kind of okay with
this. I can guess what's happening; I've seen it dozens of times, in people who
take terrible—even mortal—wounds.
The
I'm all right syndrome.
No
matter what happens to you, once the first shock of uncomprehending disbelief
is over, the next thing you think is: Well, it could have been worse.
You're always kind of impressed with how well you're handling it, whatever
it might be, from a knife in the guts to the death of a child. I wouldn't be
surprised if Shanna died thinking, This isn't so bad, really .. .
The
demon Berne caresses my face with its cold, unyielding palm, feeding
And
maybe that's where the I'm all right thing comes from: a cluster of
demons sucking away your despair, your terror, your grief. Maybe that's what
people are really saying when they shake their heads sadly and nod at each
other and murmur in low tones It just hasn't hit him yet
They're
saying: The demons are still feeding.
By
indulging their own compulsive hunger, demons are doing us a favor.
Once
they get full, though, you better. watch your ass.
That's
why I can lie here with jagged stone under my back, with Shanna's blood
splashed across my face and her intestines being gently rinsed in the
waterfall's mist, with my useless legs and my useless life, and feel nothing
but hope that the corpse goes ahead and kills me while it's still hungry.
Because
I have an idea what's coming, and I don't want to be here when it arrives.
The
demon Berne licks its lips, and a small round hole appears in one cheek with a
wet smack and splinters of its teeth blow out through the other cheek,
then another hole appears in its temple and one of its glass eyes shatters and
its head snaps sideways like a horse that's been stung by a wasp and now, from
far away up the mountain, I can hear the mechanical chatter of chemical assault
rifles.
Sounds
just like it does in the movies.
Fucking
great shooting—I keep hoping that one of those bullets will go just a hair
astray and plow through my skull, but no such luck. Must be the Social Police
doing the shooting; everybody knows that Soapy never misses.
More
bullets strike with semirhythmic fleshy slaps like a vaudeville hambone guy
warming up, dragging the corpse upright and blowing it spinning away, a
herkyjerky dance as it wheels its arms and splays its legs, trying to stay with
me on the ledge, but more rifle fire sputters above and now a fire hose blast
of slugs blows it right the fuck off the cliff.
It
drops away, and I can hear a meaty slap or two as it bounces off the rock face
on its way down.
And
now, I can feel that it's gone: I can feel it by the thermonuclear
fireball that expands within my chest and burns my heart to ashes and roasts my
throat and oh my god oh my god oh my god oh ... god . .
...god...
I4
Some
unimaginable eternity later: adrift, hopelessly becalmed on my vast bitter
ocean, shadows dance before my eyes and voices come to me—faintly, filtering in
from the unknowable, irrelevant universe beyond the ache that is all I am.
Our
agreement is entirely specific, says a
voice that seems both human and synthetic: these are sounds a clockwork doll
might make, had it a mouth and throat of flesh. He will be delivered to the
capital for execution. The sword will be secured.
The
voice that answers is exactly the opposite: though the words are dry and precise,
it thrumms like a plucked bowstring. Yes, of course. I will see to
him. As for the sword, this is a relic of Saint Berne, and is the rightful
property of the Church of the Beloved Children of Ma'elKoth. It shall be
extremely well cared for.
I
open my eyes and roll my head toward them to tell them both to shut the fuck
up, and I see that suede-faced Ambassador motherfucker squared off with one of
the fake secmen.
Between
them, in the rainbow spray from the waterfall above, Kosall's hilt swings back
and forth like the arm of a metronome counting off the measure of all the empty
noise the world has become. The spray condenses into a trickle, a tiny rill
pale pink with her blood, channeled by the rocky cleft away from the stream to
dry in the sun upon the barren stone.
Her
eyes, split by the blade that cleaves her forehead like a horrible
Athene-in-reverse, are still bright and clear. The spray has washed away the
dust that would settle there, and they still sparkle like gemstones, and I
can't understand why I am still breathing.
Raithe
turns his own stone-gleaming eyes on me. "What do you say, Caine?" he
says with playful mock deference. "Are you ready to go?" Speech is
beyond me.
Raithe
shrugs at the fake secman. "You have my thanks. Convey the warm regards of
the Monasteries to your superiors in the Overworld Company. Tell them we
apologize for Administrator Garrette's death, but you yourself can testify that
it was unavoidable."
"Agreed,"
the fake secman says. "The embassy will be notified of the new Viceroy as
circumstances demand."
"We
stand ready to welcome him, in the spirit of true brotherhood," Raithe
says smugly. "Fare you well."
The
fake secmen don't answer; Soapy never says good-bye. They silently about-face
and march off along the ledge.
I
was hoping they'd kill me. But that would be redundant.
I'm
still breathing, but that doesn't mean I'm alive.
So
it is when Raithe yanks Kosall free by its quillons, bracing Shanna's face
beneath his foot to scrape the blade out of her skull, I feel nothing.
So
it is when he leans over me, his blue-white eyes sparking with the same hunger
that had been reflected in the glass marbles in the sockets of Berne's dead
face, and says
"I
am Raithe of Ankhana. You, Caine, are my prisoner, and you will die."
—I
am unsurprised to hear my own hollow voice reply, "I'm not Caine. There is
no Caine. Caine is dead."
And
somehow this fills him with exaltation. He stands, his brow aflame with glory,
and spreads his arms like he wants to hug the whole world. He throws back his
head and cries to the limitless sky, "This is the day! This is the day!
I AM!"
I
have the strength to wonder dully what it might be he thinks he is, but I don't
have the strength to care about the answer. Right now, I can only think of
Faith.
I
can't even imagine what this has done to you.
My
god, Faith . . . I know you can't hear me, but
My
god, Faith.
I'm
sorry.
The
crooked knight, as with all knights errant, had a path to follow and lessons to
learn; each turning upon his path was another lesson, and each lesson led to
another turning.
The
crooked knight slowly, gradually, and painfully discovered some of the truths
that his life had undertaken to teach him: what the road to hell is paved with,
that there is nothing pure in this world, and that no good deed goes
unpunished.
He
learned these truths too late, of course; for he was, after all, the crooked
knight.
TEN
The
knock sounded friendly enough—not too loud, a brisk double tap like a cheerful
hello—but when Deliann opened the door he got only a brief glimpse of a big,
square-bodied human with kindly eyes and a face roughly the color and
topography of a dishful of overcooked yams. He saw no more than this,
because his view was obscured by the human's large fist, which got larger much
too fast and hit Deliann's nose so hard that he didn't even remember falling;
without a discernable interval, he found himself lying on the carpet, brilliant
white sparks curling through his peripheral vision and the taste of blood in his
mouth.
"Hiya,"
the human said cheerfully as he short-stepped to Deliann's side and let him
have the reinforced toe of his big square boot in the ribs just above the
kidney, hard enough to spring a couple loose with crisp but utterly silent
pops.
Deliann
doubled up, spitting blood. The human said, "Rugo," as though it was
someone's name.
An
ogre wearing chainmail painted in the scarlet and brass motif of the guardstaff
at Alien Games stepped through the door, shaking out a large silvery net that
looked sickeningly familiar. A flick of the ogre's wrist spread the net over
Deliann; then he latched one enormous paw around Deliann's upper arm and hauled
him up to dangle above the floor. Deliann was bagged and slung over the humps
of muscle that rippled across the ogre's broad back by the time he'd managed to
convince himself that any of this was really happening.
"Guess
what?" the human said. "Kierendal's awake, and she wants to see
you."
2
A bouncing,
jarring, disorienting ride through the private corridors of Alien Games ended
with the ogre unslinging the net like a nine-foot-tall yellow-tusked Santa
Claus and dumping Deliann, bag and all, on the floor in Kierendal's bedchamber.
He landed hard on his butt in an awkward twist that hurt his ribs worse than
the kick had.
Slowly,
with patient caution, he tried to untangle enough of the net that he could at
least come up to his knees. He made no move that might be interpreted as a
struggle to free himself the ogre's other hand held a morningstar as long as
Deliann's leg, with spikes longer than his fingers and about as sharp.
Kierendal
lay propped on brightly colored silk cushions piled up on her enormous canopied
bed; her steel-colored eyes had black rings beneath them, and her
metallic hair splayed in greasy tangles over her shoulders and across the
pillows. Her skin was the color of a catfish strangling in a drying mudpool,
and her lips hung like raw meat draped over her sharp predator's teeth. The
room smelled like a half-filled bedpan that had been topped up with vomit.
"I
had an idea," Kierendal said thickly, as though her mouth didn't work very
well, "when I sent them for you, that I'd say something witty. You know:
about how I wanted to give you my personal thanks for saving my life."
"Kier—"
"Shut
up!" she shrieked, ragged and raw, half lifting herself from the
pillows; but then she fell back as though the effort of anger had exhausted
her. "But I don't want to. I can't. I can't even be bitter about it."
She rolled her face away, so that he could not see her expression.
Grief
clamped down on his heart, and he could not speak.
"Now
they tell me we don't have to die," Kierendal went on, still facing away,
looking toward the dark brocade of the curtains that shuttered the bedchamber's
window. "They tell me this disease of yours might not kill me. That we
might all live through it."
"Yes,"
Deliann said.
"All
but Pischu," she said. "All but Tup."
"The
goddess—"
"Don't
talk to me about your goddess. I know all about her. She's a fucking Aktir. Pallas
Ril."
Deliann
said, "She looked like a goddess to me."
"You
know," Kierendal said distantly, as though she had not heard, "there
are already rumors. There've been killings, a lot of them. Not all in Alientown.
Probably your barge crew. But the story is that it's the Cainists—that it's the
start of a terror campaign, reprisals for the mass arrests, trying to fuck with
the government's plans for the Seventh Festival. You and me, we know better,
though, don't we? Don't we? I thought I did, anyway; but then I got to thinking
about it, and now I'm not so sure."
"What
are you talking about?"
"I knew Caine. Does that surprise you? I was
part of it, the whole Assumption of Ma'elKoth—and it didn't go quite the way
the Church says it did. I was there. The Church is right about one thing,
though: he was an Aktir, Caine was. Pallas Ril was his woman. Both Aktiri.
Like you, Deliann."
"Kierendal—"
"There's
this thing about Caine—you can always sort of tell when he's mixed up in
something, because everything starts to spin out of control. You can even see
it, sometimes: black Flow, a current that comes out of everywhere, and goes
nowhere. You'll know when you see it. Nothing ever turns out the way anyone
expects it to. Usually for the worse. Just like this."
"All
I know about Caine is what everybody knows," Deliann said, lifting his
hands in a helpless shrug that made the net rustle like chainmail. "Mostly
just what the Church says. All I know about Pallas Ril is that she promised to
help. And that she saved your life."
"Saved
my life?" Kierendal rolled her head so that she could face him again, and
her eyes were bloody and raw as a half-incubated egg cracked into a cold
skillet. "Yes. I should thank her. I should thank her for letting me wake
up and find out that ..." Her voice broke. ". . . Pischu . . . Tup ..
. they died. And I get to live, knowing I killed them. For nothing."
"I'm
sorry, Kier," Deliann said with simple honesty. "I wish it could be
different."
"Do
you? Do you really?" She looked up at the ogre and waved a trembling hand.
"Take it off him."
The
ogre grabbed a handful of the metal net at the top of Deliann's head and
yanked, tumbling him out of the net to the floor. He landed hard on his swollen
thigh—the one with the internal infection—and sudden pain made him gasp.
Instinctively he sought mindview, to ease his burning leg with Flow; Kierendal
gestured, and the human clouted him on the side of the head.
"Don't,"
she said. "I'm watching you, Changeling. That was just a warning. Reach
for the Flow again and he'll kill you. Understand?"
"No,"
Deliann said thinly through a mouth held tight against a whimper. "No, I
don't understand. I don't understand how you can treat me like this. Like an
enemy."
"Maybe
I can explain," Kierendal said. She lifted a finger-thick rod of polished
wood as long as her hand. She turned it this way and that in the pale
lamplight; its polish had a distinctive iridescent sheen that made it
impossible to tell what color the wood actually was. "You know what this
is?"
"Of
course I know what it is," Deliann said, frowning. "I've been a
Mithondionne prince for twenty-five years. Where did you get a message stick?"
Message
sticks were the original records of the First Folk, dating back to the misty
millennia before the invention of their alphabet. A trained mind could imprint
the semicrystalline structure of the plant itself with a Fantasy; a Fantasy
thus encoded into a properly prepared message stick was permanent, so long as
the message stick itself remained undamaged. It was a laborious process that
had fallen into popular disuse thousands of years ago. Message sticks survived
only for the formal matters of state, and even there were rarely used for
anything less than a royal wedding or declaration of war. Deliann might never
have seen one, save that House Mithondionne was the hereditary tender of the
small shrubs that were used to make them; "message stick" was the
Westerling translation of mithondion.
"It
came by bird just a couple hours ago," Kierendal said. "Didn't you
ever wonder how I know what's going on halfway across the continent? Have a
look" She tossed it to him; he caught it instinctively.
It
had an unreasonable solidity, a weight to it, as though it were made of
gold instead of wood. Deliann turned it over in his fingers, and it awakened in
him a dread that chilled his guts.
The
message stick could only have come from Mithondion. From home.
"Go
ahead," Kierendal said. "Dream it."
"I,
ah ..." The message stick had become so heavy it made his arm ache with
strain; his mouth had gone dry, his tongue a numb lump of muscle.
Torronell
would have headed straight to the Living Palace.
Deliann
raised his eyes; he could not even look at the stick. "I don't want to,
Kier," he said humbly. "Why don't you tell me what's in it?
Please."
"That
wasn't a request, Changeling. I'll tell you one more time: Dream it. If I have
to tell you again, it'll be after Rugo's morningstar makes porridge out of one
of your ankles. You got me?" Her eyes were dark, dead flat, lusterless, as
though dust had settled upon them.
Deliann
looked down again at the message stick in his hand; its iridescence became
somehow obscenely repulsive: a growth on the lips of a whore.
But
how bad could it be, really? He had seen Mithondion in ruins a thousand times
in his dreams already; this couldn't possibly be worse than his dark
imaginings. He opened his Shell to caress the faintest breath of Flow into
the patterns of the message stick; color swirled around him, joined by forest
sound and scent. Soon they organized into a coherent Fantasy, and he discovered
just how wrong he was.
He
couldn't possibly have imagined anything as bad as this.
3
Deliann
knelt on the floor, images screaming inside his head. Kierendal had lain
silently upon her bed while the Fantasy had fed unimaginable horror into
Deliann's brain.
He
saw the Living Palace in flames, fire eating away the very heart of the
deepwood. He saw primal corpses by the dozen, the score, the century; he saw
feral creatures roaming the forest with blood upon their teeth—feral creatures
beneath whose masks of filth and madness could be recognized the features of
courtiers and ladies of fashionable society.
He
saw the corpse of the King, his father, lying half rotted upon the floor of a
closet, where he must have crawled to hide; the corpse had been found there by
two starving, maddened feyallin, young males who had torn his uncooked flesh
with their own teeth, only to vomit it forth again in great bloody pools across
the richly woven clothing the King had pulled from the shelves above to make a
rude bed for his dying.
He
saw the bird-picked shape of a fey who wore Torronell's favorite vest; he could
not know if this was his brother's corpse. It hung high above the forest floor,
a broken branch impaling it from crotch to gullet.
"Not
easy to watch?" Kierendal finally asked.
Deliann
barely heard her.
"So
this is how I've got it recked," Kierendal said; without transition, her
voice had hardened to a rasp like a knife drawn across a whetstone.
"You're an Aktir—"
He
could only see the image scored into his memory, of an eye—that might have been
Torronell's—being gulped by a crow, its head thrown back as though in ecstasy.
"—and
Caine was an Aktir. Shit's gone completely out of control. Pallas Ril is
sniffing around. You're all hooked together somehow, you and Pallas Ril and
Caine. I think those rumors are closer to right than they know: somehow, this is
all something to do with the Cainists." She pulled her bloodless lips back
over her teeth in a pack hunter's fighting grin. "I've been lying here
since I woke up, trying to figure what I could have done to make things
different, and all I can come up with is this: I should have had you taken out
and killed the night you showed up."
Deliann
looked at her then, but still had no words.
"Tup,"
she said harshly, "was the only creature I have ever known who really,
truly loved me."
Deliann
lowered his head.
Staring
fixedly at the cold dark brocade of the curtains, she looked like she was
hugging herself under the blankets, trying to suppress a shudder. "Take
him to the white room and beat in his skull. Throw his body in the river."
Deliann
knelt unmoving as the ogre covered him once again with the silver net, slung
him over its massive shoulder, and carried him away.
4
Deliann
twisted himself inside the netting as he bounced against the ogre's back on
their way down to the white room; pretty soon his neck uncramped enough for him
to speak. "You can't do this," he said.
"Soor
I can," the ogre replied cheerfully. "Thass why I got thizz."
The ogre underhanded his enormous, blunt-spiked morningstar to give Deliann a
little tap with it through the net, just a friendly nudge that punched a couple
of spikes into the swollen muscle of his badly healed thigh. "See?
Eazzy"
Deliann
bit his lip until he tasted fresh blood. The pocket of infection within that
thigh made it brutally sensitive; the tap from the morningstar hurt worse than
had breaking the leg in the first place. "No, you don't understand,"
he said, once he was sure he could control his voice. "Kill me if you
want. But you can't dump my body in the river. In the river, Eyyallarann alone
knows where I'll spread the disease—it could kill thousands before the goddess'
cure catches up to it."
"What,
you think it's not in the river already?" said the ugly squarebodied human
who ambled alongside the' ogre, thumbs hooked behind his belt. "I'm no
healer, but I hear things, y'know. Always payin' attention, that's me. I figure
you already give it to people who's dead by now, and most dead folks hereabouts
end up in the river sooner or later."
"Yes:'
Deliann said softly. The ache in his chest threatened to choke him. "Yes,
you're right. I wasn't thinking."
"Don'
know nothing about no diseazze," the ogre said. "Kier sayzz crack
your head, I crack your head. She sayzz dump you in the riffer, I dump you in
the riffer. Eazzy."
"Yeah,
Rugo's got a pretty straightforward outlook, huh?" The human leaned around
the ogre's broad back to give Deliann a ruefully companionable smile.
"Kinda makes you jealous, don't it? Ever wish your life could be
simple?"
Deliann
let his eyes drift closed against his grief. "For a long time, I thought
it was."
"That's
cuz you wasn't payin' attention," the human said sadly.
The
white room turned out to be the small chamber with the brown-stained walls in
which he'd been chained to a chair upon his arrival. The ogre dumped him
rolling out of the net. Deliann lay where he fell, staring at the ceiling that
was also spattered with brown splotches--a sort of kinetic record of the
backsplash that arcs away from a mace or a morningstar when you reset for
another swing. He could see—barely, in his peripheral vision—the faint outline
of the Shells of the ogre and the human, but the room was closed to Flow. He
would be helpless to resist.
Not
that he had any intention of resistance.
There
was, in being brought to this particular room for execution, an ironic symmetry
that he found poetic.
The
ogre let his huge morningstar dangle from his wrist by its leather thong as he
carefully shook out and folded the silver net; apparently such devices were
expensive enough that he didn't want to risk damaging it when he crushed Deliann's
skull. The ogre laid the folded net on the seat of the maple chair that was
bolted to the floor in the middle of the room, then flicked the haft of the
morningstar up into his hand: killing position.
Deliann
wondered, for one stretching instant, if he would see a flash of light when it
hit him, or if the flash that goes with being hit on the head was an artifact
of memory—something you don't see at the time, just remember seeing when you
wake up, a sort of neuronal default to cover the scramble made by impact. He
was abstractly curious; since he wasn't going to wake up, he couldn't guess
what the actual moment of impact would look like. It seemed important, somehow.
At
least as important as anything else you could be thinking about, one second
before you die.
The
morningstar went up, and up, and up, and the human said, "Hey,
Rugo,
hang on a second, will you? I'm not sure I'm all right with this."
The
morningstar paused at the top of its arc, and the ogre said, "Huh?"
"Changed my mind," the human said with a shrug. "Let's not kill
him." "But Kier zzaid—"
"You
don't have to do everythin' Kier says, do you?"
"But
she's the bozz ..." he murmured. "So?"
The
ogre lowered the morningstar, frowning as he chewed over the unfamiliar
concept. "I don't get it," he decided.
The
human shrugged again, this time uncomfortably. "I dunno if I can explain,
exactly. See, I guess I got it figured like this: If this character told. Kier
and everybody the truth about the goddess, Pallas Ril is gonna be back here in
a day or two to fix things up, and everythin'll be all right, y'know? And if
he's wrong about the goddess, we're all gonna be dead pretty soon—Kier first,
prob'ly. So she won't really care one way or the other, and neither will we.
So, I figure, why kill him?"
"Causs
Kier zzaid zo," the ogre insisted.
The
human looked profoundly skeptical, and more than a little troubled.
"You
don't understand," Deliann said, licking his lips. "I'm a
carrier—" "Yeah, whatever," the human said. "Big deal.
If you're givin' it to people, I prob'ly already got it, right?"
"Don't
do this for my sake—"
"Who
says I'm doin' it for you?"
"I
never said I want to live."
"Nobody
ast you. You wanna die, you can do it without our help." "Kier'll get
mad," Rugo said dubiously. "Really, really mad."
"She
don't have to know." The human spread his hands. "C'mon, Rugo. We'll
turn him loose and tell her we dumped him in the river. Whaddaya say?"
Rugo
scowled as though all this thinking was giving him an ogre-sized migraine.
Finally, he shook his huge head. "Nah. Kier'zz the bozz. We gotta do what
she sayzz." He lifted the morningstar again, and the human stepped over
Deliann to put himself in the path of the downward swing.
"Don't
do it, Rugo."
"Aw,
c'mon," the ogre said plaintively. "You're gonna get uzz in trouble..."
"Nope;
you're gonna get us in trouble, if you yap me out to Kier. What she
don't know won't hurt us." The human turned his back on Rugo and offered
Deliann his hand. "C'mon, get up. We're outa here."
Deliann
bemusedly took the offered hand; it was warm, and dry, and very, very strong.
The human lifted him to his feet seemingly without effort.
"Maybe
I s'ould crack you one, too," the ogre said ominously; he took a step
forward, towering over the human, tusks curving up to frame his globular yellow
eyes.
The
human looked over his shoulder at his partner and cocked his head
curiously. "How long we worked together? You really wanna bust my skull?
What kinda friend are you, anyway?"
"But
. . . but . . . c'mon. Let me kill him. Pleazze?"
"Nah.
Made up my mind. Sorry, Rugo. Guess you're gonna have to kill me, too."
The human gently turned Deliann around and gave him a little shove toward the
door, following close behind him.
"I
could call more guardzz," Rugo said, bright with sudden
inspiration.
"And
tell 'em what? How y'gonna explain you didn't take care of this yourself?"
The human pulled open the door. "We're leavin, Roog. You can come if you
want."
Deliann
didn't hear a response from the ogre, nor could he see one as the human
propelled him out the door. The human led him through the corridors of Alien
Games, to a narrow door that opened onto a dark alley that pattered with slow
drizzly rain like the piss of old drunk men. The human stepped out and beckoned
Deliann to follow with a jerk of his head.
"C'mon.
You hungry? Let's go get somethin' to eat."
5
Behind
the counter, a fat stonebender in a dirty brown apron spun a plate of greasy
eggs, blood pudding, and some kind of unidentifiable meat into place between
Deliann's elbows, and a certain color began to return to the world. This was
the first time he'd even been outdoors since the night he came to Alien Games;
he was as damp as the mud-churned street, cold in his light cotton tunic and
pants, and what little sunlight filtered through the grey bruise of overcast
was barely enough to show him a hint of yellow in the scrambled eggs.
He
perched on a rickety stool next to the human who'd saved his life, and leaned
on a splintered wooden counter just a little less greasy than the food before
him. The counter made a squared-off ring with a large grill, griddle, and
enormous wood-fired kettle fryer in the middle, tended by a pair of
stonebenders who acted like husband and wife, but resembled each other enough
to be brother and sister. Deliann didn't ask.
An
awning kept off the drizzle. Between the counter, stools, and awning, the
establishment occupied a good third of the right-of-way of Moriandar Street.
Other similar stalls were scattered along the street; the rain kept most of
them nearly as deserted as this one. Other than Deliann and the human, the only
customer at this stall was a fat treetopper with tattered wings who lay
stretched out on the far countertop, face in the crook of his elbow, snoring
like an asthmatic bloodhound.
The
human shoveled eggs into his mouth and chomped on them noisily. Deliann could
only stare and wonder; he could not remember the last time he'd had an
appetite.
"You're
not eatin'?"
Deliann
rotated one shoulder in a diffident shrug.
"Best
friggin' eggs in Alientown. Eat, dammit. I paid for the goddamn things. Don't
make me sorry I saved your life." The human snorted a friendly chuckle
around his mouthful of food and gave Deliann a nudge with his elbow as though
they shared a joke.
Deliann
turned his stool to put his back to the counter and leaned on his elbows,
watching the occasional passersby scuttle from shelter to shelter, shoulders
hunched and necks turtled against the rain.
"Maybe
you should have let the ogre kill me," he murmured. "It's only
justice."
"Justice?
What's that?" the human said with an amiable smile. He turned his palm
upward. "Here. Put some justice in my hand. No? Then just tell me what it
tastes like, huh? What's it smell like? What color is it?" He shook
his head and scooped another forkful of eggs into his mouth. "Don't talk
to me about justice. We're both grown-ups here, right?"
Are
we? Deliann thought. I've never
been quite sure I am.
After
a moment, he asked, "Aren't you worried about your job?"
His
companion shrugged. "Aw, nah. Rugo's maybe dim as hour three of a two-hour
candle, but his heart's in the right place."
"He's
a killer."
"Shit,
so'm I. Just not today."
"This
could cost you more than your job," Deliann said.
He
shrugged again. "So? My choice." He hit the word choice with
an odd, subtle emphasis.
"I
don't understand why you wanted to help me."
"Well,
I guess it wasn't to hear you say thanks."
Deliann
looked away.
"Heh,"
the human said. "That wasn't a shot. Save a guy who's tryin'
suicide, you don't expect thanks. Guess you learned that one from Kier
just now, huh?"
"Yes,
I did," Deliann agreed softly. "But I still don't understand."
The
human sighed and set down his fork. "It's not real easy to explain. I
don't always got a real good reason for the shit I do. Sometimes I just sorta
make up my mind, y'know? And once I'm set on somethin' I don't fuzzle around
with second thoughts."
"All
right. But why?"
"Dunn.
I just got thinkin, up in her ladyship's chamber up there, when she was talkin'
about Caine and all. She was talkin' about how she knew Caine, and how shit
always goes wrong when Caine's around, and all that. And how she figures you're
hooked in with Caine, somehow."
"Caine,"
Deliann murmured. "I don't really know anything about him."
"Well,
I do. Knew him pretty good. Wasn't exactly friends exactly, but we was—I guess
you could say—friendly acquaintances. He broke my arm once."
"Some
friend."
"Hey,
it was that or kill me. Shit, I was grateful. Still am. Saved my life, that
broken arm, most likely. He broke it the day before the Assumption of
Ma'elKoth. See, I useta be a Knight of Cant; not for that arm, I woulda been in
Victory Stadium that day, and I probably woulda been killed. Most of my buddies
were. Point is, I met my Neela because of that arm; she took care of me for a
while—cuz I got a little fever from the break and all—so with the break and the
fever, that whack from Caine not only kept me out of the Stadium but out of the
Second Succession War. Now I got a home, wife, kid—and a pretty good job just
cuz I knew Caine well enough that he'd rather break my arm than kill me.
See?"
"No,
I don't see," Deliann said. "What does this have to do with me?"
"The
thing is, Kier was wrong. Shit don't go bad because Caine's around. Most of the
time, shit goes bad by itself. You can usually find somebody to blame it on, if
you look hard enough. Just like she was blamin' shit on you. She don't have the
guts to face up to what the world was bringin' her. That's what killed Tup and
Pischu, y'know: gutlessness. But she can't face that, so she's gotta hang it on
you." He gave half a shrug, a silent apology for his employer's weakness,
then took another bite of eggs.
"But
I don't have to play along," he went on, chewing with his mouth half open.
"I say: You never know how shit is gonna play out, not really. So you do
the best you can, pay attention, and maybe somethin' happens to make everythin'
turn out all right. That's what I did. Why should I kill you for somethin' that
wasn't your fault?"
"It
was my fault," Deliann said.
"Horseshit."
"No,
it was. I should have known. I should have let myself die back in the
mountains. Now you're infected, for sure; when you die, that'll be my fault,
too."
"So
what? Why kill somebody over somethin' that's already done? Mt
me, only good reason to kill a man is over what he's gonna do, you
follow?"
"You don't know what HRVP infection is like," Deliann said.
"You'll go crazy. You'll start to think everybody hates you,
everybody's trying to kill you, even your best friends, your wife, your
child—"
"Shit,
I get that from a bad hangover."
"So
you kill them first. If you live long enough, you will murder everyone who
means anything to you. And when you die, you will die in agony."
The
human sighed again, picked up his fork, and took another big bite of the eggs.
"Yeah, that's gonna suck."
Deliann
gaped. "That's it? That's all you have to say?"
"What
do you want me to say? The goddess might come back and fix everythin' up. Then,
no problem, right? If she don't, well, who knows? Shit might work out. You
never know."
"I
know," Deliann muttered darkly. "I can feel it. Something's gone
wrong. The goddess won't come."
"Maybe.
But now look at it the other way: she might. If you never came to Ankhana, you
can bet this disease of yours would have made it here anyway. We're downriver
from where you got it, right? So if you'd died up there in the mountains, all
this shit could still be happenin' here, except nobody would've got the goddess
into it. So friggin' relax, pal. You mighta saved the world after all."
"I
still feel like it's my fault."
"Yeah,
fault." The human shrugged, chewing a fresh mouthful of blood
pudding. "That's another one of those things like justice. Don't talk to
me about fault until you can spoon me a mouthful of it and let me chew it up. I
don't believe in fault."
"What
do you believe in?"
"You
wanna know what I believe?" The human leaned in and lowered his voice. His
kindly eyes took on a conspiratorial twinkle. "This is what I believe:
There Are No Rules."
The
capitals were clear in his tone, and he searched Deliann's face for a moment,
as though this were a recognition code to which he expected some cryptic
answer. When he didn't get one, he shrugged and grinned. "Well, there's
one rule, maybe. My rule: You don't eat those eggs, I kick your skinny
elvish ass and stuff 'em down your throat. You better get started."
After
a long, slow, considering moment, Deliann couldn't come up with a reason why he
shouldn't, so he turned himself around, and took a bite of the eggs. Even
lukewarm, they were delicious: buttery and golden and delicately peppered,
slightly crisp around the edges. As Deliann chewed and swallowed and took
another bite, the knot that had strangled his guts for weeks began to unclench
itself like an opening fist.
He
said, "My name's Deliann," and held out his hand.
"Yeah,
I know," the human said when he took it. "I'm Tommie. Pleased to
meetcha."
"Likewise.
Uh, Tommie?"
"Yeah?"
"Well
... I guess—thanks, that's all."
Tommie
laughed and gave him another nudge in the ribs with his doubled elbow.
"Yeah. Don't mention it. Listen, eat up. It's gettin' dark, and we gotta
be goin."
"Going
where?"
Tommie
winked at him. "I wanna introduce you to some friends of mine."
6
Fire
sputtered within a low ring of heat-cracked clay in the center of the room; the
chimney hood above it was built of mud brick and stood upon three stout
pillars. The room had no windows, and its only furnishings were a crude plank
table and a scattering of chairs like the one on which Deliann sat, wrapped in
a damp but drying blanket.
He
stared into the flames and thought how fire was a living thing.
Fire
takes in food—in this case, dried clods of shit, probably bought off one of
Lucky janner's muck carts this afternoon—and processes it with oxygen in a
chemical reaction that releases the energy that gives it life. Fire does not
evolve, though. There is no mutation, no natural selection of survival traits.
Fire has no need of these; it is perfect already. Fire is simply fire: though
hotter here, redder there, white or gold or transparent as heat shimmer in the
desert, flame is ineradicably a single individual, forever born again whenever
conditions favor its existence. Kill it, and it resurrects itself elsewhere; itself
immutable, it is the very symbol of change.
Small
wonder that fire was humanity's first and most persistent god.
The
chair in which Deliann sat was almost comfortable, despite its rude
construction. The wool blanket he held around his shoulders prickled his
chilled, damp skin like nettles, but he didn't mind. He felt
disconnected—floating, drifting away—and nothing really mattered too much right
now. He'd put himself entirely in Tommie's hands; drifting along in someone
else's wake was surprisingly calming.
Deliann
was pretty sure that the room to which Tommie had led him was somewhere in the
Warrens. He guessed he should have been paying closer attention, but walking
head down through the bone-chilling rain, he had needed all his
concentration to maintain mindview; only by continuously puffing Flow could he
dull the pain from his legs.
The
crooked streets of Alientown had given way at some point to the broad blank
facades of Industrial Park manufactories and ware-houses, and eventually Tommie
and he had threaded twisting alleyways between sagging tenements of moldy
plaster framed with rotting, warped timbers. Many of these timbers still showed
streaks of blackened char; in the Warrens, little ever went entirely to waste.
Even a building that burns to the ground will have a few surviving timbers that
can still bear weight.
Tommie
squatted by the fire, rubbing his hands together and grimacing against the
heat. Deliann watched him blankly while his own shivering gradually subsided.
Soon, Tommie dragged a chair over to the fire, reversed it, and straddled it
with his back to the flames. "Gotta dry my ass," he said
apologetically. "Sittin' around in wet pants'll gimme the piles somethin'
fierce."
He
settled himself in, squirming as though his rear didn't quite fit on the seat,
and rested his chin on the chair's back. "These friends of mine, they're
gonna be here before too long. You're gonna tell them your story heh, I could
stand to hear the whole thing, myself. Then we're all gonna talk about what we
want to do about it."
"There's
nothing to do about it," Deliann said dully. "It's beyond anything
you or I or anyone but Eyyallarann herself can do."
"Sure
it is, you take the whole thing at once. I don't know all about it, but like I
was tellin' you, I pay attention, so I got a pretty good idea. Trick to dealin'
with the big problems is to chop them down into bite-size pieces. Like, all
right, I can't save the city. If you're right, I can't even save myself, huh? I've
got it, and I'm gonna die. But maybe I can save my wife and my boy."
Deliann
looked away. "I hope so."
"Yeah,
thanks. Savin' my family: this is what I want. Talkin' to you, this is part of
what I'm doin' to get what I want, you follow? If anybody can give me a clue
how to save my family, it's you."
"I,
ah ..." Deliann coughed harshly, to force the tightness out of his throat.
"I'll do what I can to help you, Tommie."
"I
believe you. And that's why I'm tryin' to help you."
The
firelight behind him haloed his thinning hair, and a pool of red-rimmed shadow
crawled across his face.
Deliann
squinted at him, but his eyes were lost in the shadow. "Help me do
what?"
Tommie
chuckled. "Well, that's the question, huh? Listen, somethin' else I
learned from Caine—wanna hear it?"
Deliann
shrugged.
"It's
this," Tommie said "There's only really two things about a man that
matter: what he wants, and what he'll do to get it. Everythin' else we pretend
is important—whether you're tough, or good-lookin', smart, stupid, honorable,
whatever—that's just details."
He
became very still, and from within that shifting shadow that pulsed in the
middle of his face Deliann could feel Tommie's eyes upon him. He brushed the
edges of mindview and found Tommie's Shell to be streaked with spirals of brilliant
green: tight-wound vortices like the symbols that the First Folk use to mark
the dillin, the gates between the worlds.
Tommie's
voice was low and tight. "So. What do you want?"
Deliann's
reply was a blank stare.
"C'mon,"
Tommie said with an encouraging nod. "Simple enough question, huh? What do
you want?"
"I,
uh . . . I guess I don't really understand what you're asking me ..."
"Sure you do."
Deliann
shook his head helplessly. "With everything that's happened—everything
I've done to ... to Kier ... and Alien Games, and the city, to . . . to you,
even though you saved my life—I've, I guess I've ... killed everyone
..."
"Listen,
I'm tryin' to teach you somethin' here. Pay attention, huh? What do you
want?"
Deliann
pulled the prickly wool blanket higher around his neck and hung his head.
"What do you want me to say?"
"Not
that," Tommie said, chuckling and shaking his head. "Sometimes it's you
bright guys that have the hardest time followin' this. All right, look:
What I'm askin' is for you to make a decision. Make a choice. Decide what
you want. Shit, you don't even have to tell me, you don't feel like
it; just decide. Two hours ago, you were tellin' me you wanted to die. Was that
true? Is that what you want?"
Deliann
offered a weak smile. "I'd settle for it."
Tommie
shook his head again, but this time there was no amusement in the gesture or
his voice. "This ain't about what you'll settle for. It's about what you want."
Deliann
shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and let it trickle out again. "I
suppose what I really want is for none of this to have ever happened. I want to
wake up and find out it's all been a bad dream."
"Mm,
sorry, man," Tommie said with true regret. "You can't wiring the
bell. The past is what it is; all you can change is what you think of it.
The future, though, that's a story that ain't been written yet, y'know?
You were talkin' about justice awhile ago, too. How about that?"
"You
said you don't believe in justice."
Tommie
shrugged. "Depends. You gotta be a little more specific—gotta get right
down to dowels and dovetails, Changeling. Don't say justice, say: `The
guy who stole my purse, I want him locked up,' or `The guy who raped my sister,
I want him dead: That I can believe in. You see what I'm sayin'? You
gotta be specific. Listen, didn't you ever want somethin' so bad you
didn't care what it took to get it?"
With
sudden, overpowering, inexpressible pain, Deliann thought: I want to be a
primal mage.
Staring
into the pool of shadow on Tommie's face, more than a quarter century of
Deliann's life was wiped away. Hari Michaelson asked to be remembered to
you, the goddess had told him, in the bedchamber where she had brought
Kierendal back from the brink of death, and then she had warped reality around
her and stepped outside the world .. .
What
a strange place his life had become.
"Yes,"
he murmured in answer to Tommie's question. "Once, a long time ago, I
wanted something so much I did some very bad things to get it."
"What
happened?"
Deliann
lowered his eyes. "I got it. Sort of. It didn't turn out quite the way I
was expecting."
"Nothin'
ever does, huh? That's no reason to bitch. Listen, dintcha ever do somethin'
where shit just went way wilder than you coulda ever guessed? Y'know, somethin'
little that turned out huge?"
"Yes,"
he said, his throat knotted with pain, thinking of a dead primal village in the
eastern foothills of the God's Teeth—of stealing in at twilight with his bow in
his hand, of a feyal's corpse on the ground with maggots on its tongue. How could
he possibly have known where those few short steps from the village edge to its
center would lead him?
Tommie
shook his head, chuckling. "Nah—I can see that's an ugly story, just from
your look. Go the other way. Find a good story." Deliann
closed his eyes. "I don't know any good stories."
"Sure
you do, ya lyin' bastard. They just don't look so sweet right now. Think about
it."
"No.
It's ..." He shook his head helplessly. "Even the best thing that
ever happened to me—my Adoption—even that turned hideous. If I wasn't a
Mithondionne prince, I would never have been on that expedition. I would never
have gone into the village. I wouldn't have carried this disease down the
river—"
"You're
a prince?" Tommie asked, squinting at him sidelong.
"Sounds
unlikely, doesn't it ? It's ... I don't know. It wasn't something I planned on.
I just fell into it, I guess."
"That
sounds like a good story. Got at
least a laugh or two, huh?"
"You
think so?" Deliann looked down at the blanket; without meaning to, he'd
twisted its ends into ropes knotted between his fists. Torronell ... ah,
gods, Rroni, if only you could be here now .. .
Torronell
would have known how to turn this story into something darkly comic. With his
dry, ironic wit, he could spin the most bitter thread into pretty cloth; he had
a genius for it. Rroni could take the sting out of a knife wound. Deliann had
no such gift. The bitter, aching futility of existence—that's what this story
was about, really. Try to raise a laugh with that.
But
Tommie's kind eyes never wavered, and after a moment, Deliann cast a sigh into
the air between them. "The finniannàr," he said. "Have
you heard that word before?"
Tommie
shrugged. "It's, like, the elvish code of hospitality, right?—er, primal,
sorry."
Deliann
waved this aside. "It's a complex system of obligation, very formal and so
ancient that it's almost a natural law. It spells out—specifically and in
detail—what the duties are of a guest to his host, and of the host to his
guest, and the guest of someone you have hosted in the past, and the host of
someone for the second time without a return invitation, and so on and so forth
until it's hard to believe that anyone can actually keep them all straight. I
became a prince of House Mithondionne because I thought I understood the
finniannàr well enough to get clever with it."
He
remembered entering the Heartwood Hall, that long low cavern of oak that served
as the throne room of the Living Palace; he remembered the glittering infinity
of the ranked primal nobility—and the hush as they stared at his ragged,
travel-stained clothing, and at the hooded figure of Torronell who trembled by
his side, who clutched Deliann's hand with both of his own.
He'd
reached the small open disk of floor called the Flame, ten paces from the
Burning Throne; then he'd raised his head and had met the fierce falcon eyes of
T'farrell Ravenlock, the Twilight King. At the age of twenty-three, Deliann had
spent more than a quarter of his life preparing for this moment.
He
could not possibly have guessed how unready he was.
The
voice of the King had seemed to come from the high-sloping walls of the
hall, as though the Living Palace itself asked the questions in the Ravenlock's
heart. And he'd had his answers ready: his tale of being a weary traveler,
asking only hospitality for the night, but bringing one humble gift that he
begs the King to accept
"I
gave the King a present,' Deliann said, staring past Tommie into the fire.
"Something, ah, I was afraid he'd refuse, if it was offered in any
ordinary way, so ... I framed it as a guesting gift, which the finniannàr requires
him to accept. His response was ... extravagant."
"I'd
say so," Tommie grunted. "He adopted you? Over a gift?"
"It
was a pretty good gift," Deliann admitted. "I gave him back his
youngest son."
Tommie
squinted at him silently.
"I
met him twenty-five, maybe twenty-six years ago, when I was working at
Kierendal's old place, the Exotic Love—I kind of had your job in those days, I
guess: I was Kier's best thug. No offense."
Tommie
shrugged. "You don't often see primal royalty in the whorehouses around
here."
"It
was . . . ah, a special circumstance. It doesn't bear explaining."
The
special circumstance had been that the Youngest of the Twilight King had been a
lacrimatis addict, pale and twitching and semipermanently divorced from
reality, and he'd fed his habit by working as one of Kierendal's whores. He'd
been with her for half a century, and he'd had a substantial following among
the whip-and-branding-iron crowd. He had been famous, legendary; he'd had
third-generation clients—men of particular tastes brought to him by their
fathers, who had in turn been brought by their own fathers. He had been a
bottomless abyss of self-loathing covered by a shield of impenetrably dry,
occasionally savage wit, and he'd been entirely successful in erasing his past;
no one suspected his true identity—no one suspected he'd ever had any identity
other than the whore's face he showed the world.
But
he couldn't hide from Deliann's flash.
With
scorching grief, Deliann recalled his slow months-long persuasion, the gradual
erosion of Torronell's determination never to make con-tact with his family
again. He remembered—with the kind of piercing clarity that seems reserved for
bitter hindsight—Torronell sitting on a tangle of bloodstained satin sheets,
the floor around him strewn with brightly studded leather straps and boots and
collars and harnesses, twisting a black silk hood between his fists.
"I
can't go home," Torronell had said, his eyes spilling first one tear, then
another, and one single tear more. "I can't ever go home. Don't
you understand? This—" A despairing wave of the hood took in this
suite of opulent decadence, the Exotic Love, the whole life that Torronell led.
"—is what I like This is what I'm good for—all that I am good for.
How can I live at Mithondion? How can I meet my father's eye? I'm sick,
Deliann. That's why I cannot go home. I can never go home, because I'm
sick"
And
Deliann had been so reasonable, Deliann had been so rational, so patient and
understanding . . . so persuasive .. .
"Sure,
I knew the King had to reciprocate," Deliann said to Tommie, in a distant,
abstracted tone bleached clean of pain, "but I was half expecting his
return gift would be a swift boot in the ass on my way out the door. From what
Torronell had told me, he hadn't been welcome at court for something like three
hundred years. The whole idea had been to box the Ravenlock into a corner, so
that he'd have to let Rroni come home whether he wanted to or not. What
neither of us could have known was that the scandal that had ruined Rroni's
life had blown over centuries ago; the Ravenlock had been looking for an excuse
to overturn the banishment for decades."
"So,"
Tommie said, "that's a pretty good story, huh? Happy endin', anyway."
"Sure,"
Deliann said. "If you end it there. But the problem is, it's a true
story." He closed his eyes. "All true stories end in death."
Though
Deliann could see the scene in memory as dearly as if it were a Fantasy of his
own creation, he could not hear the voices, the cheers that had arisen from the
assembled Court when Torronell had lowered his hood and revealed himself to his
father. This memory was as silent as Kierendal's message stick.
That
message stick had shown him the end of the road he had followed for twenty-five
years, from those very first days on foot out of Ankhana, holding Torronell as
he sweated and shivered and vomited through his lacrimatis withdrawal.
It had shown him the end of the months and years of the pain-filled bond with
that profoundly unhappy fey; he had had nothing to offer Torronell save his
understanding and his friendship, to which Torronell had responded with loyalty
so fierce it had become a byword at court. No one had dared breathe any word
against Deliann where the faintest hint of it might reach Torronell's ears. For
a quarter of a century they had been inseparable; Deliann and Torronell had
become a single word.
"Here's
the real end of the story," Deliann said slowly. "Because I knew
Kierendal all those years ago, I came here. I brought my disease to Alien
Games. And because I was his best friend, his brother, Torronell caught
my disease from me, and he carried it back to Mithondion. The real end of
the story is Tup is dead, and Pischu, and the others." He stared bleakly
into the fire. "And my whole family."
"Your
family?"
"Yes.
Between the two of us, Rroni and I, we have wiped out the entire royal line of
the First Folk." He met Tommie's eyes, daring him to answer. "How
happy is that?"
Tommie
gave him a sidelong look. "No shit? The whole House Mithondionne? You sure
about that?"
"That's
what Kierendal thought. That's what the message stick seemed to be telling
us," Deliann said brokenly. "I can only pray that I'm wrong."
"Well,
spank me purple," he said, shaking his head. "Talk about shit goin'
bone wild."
"What?
What are you talking about?"
He
spread his hands. "Maybe I'm wrong," he said. "I'm no friggin'
expert on this Folk shit"
"Expert
on what shit?"
Tommie
started and stopped and started again; he scratched his thinning hair, frowned,
and cleared his throat a couple of times. Finally, he managed, "Don't
this, well, I mean ..." He made a face as if to say, You don't have to
tell me how silly this sounds. "Don't this make you the, like,
the king of the elves?"
Deliann
stared.
Tommie
shrugged at him. "Hey, like I said, I'm no expert."
Deliann's
voice came out so stunned and tiny that it could barely be heard above the
crackle of the brick-ringed fire.
"Oh,"
he said. "Oh, my god."
7
Some
time later, people began to join them in that small windowless room. A
nondescript knock, a grunt of "Whaddaya want?" from Tommie, a brief
reply, and another man or woman would sidle through the half-opened door. Some
were large and hard-looking like Tommie; some were smaller, softer, clerkish
types; a couple could have been respectable shopkeepers; one might be plump and
solemn, the next skinny and full of laughter.
They
had in common a certain presence: an air of being profoundly engaged in whatever
it was they did, whether talking to each other, or staring at him, or simply
warming their hands at the fire. They didn't appear to be thinking about
where they would be later tonight, or whatever might have happened this
morning, or how their clothes looked, or whether the person to whom they spoke
liked them or thought they were witty.
All
they were doing was what they were doing.
They
reminded Deliann of a saying Hari Michaelson had liked to quote sometimes, all
those years ago: When you eat, eat. When you sleep, sleep. When you fight,
fight.
Slowly,
through the dazed whirl of his fever and everything that had happened that day,
Deliann pieced together a pattern in the responses to Tommie's growled Whaddaya
want? at the door. Each answer had been different, which was why Deliann
hadn't noticed the pattern at first. One said, I want to come in; another
simply said, A choice. A third had said, A big fire and a comfortable
chair; a fourth, A good father for my children.
What
Deliann gradually came to realize was this: Tommie's grunt was more than a rude
greeting. It was a question. The same question he had asked Deliann.
It
was a recognition code.
"This
room," Deliann said wonderingly. "That's why this room has no windows
..."
Tommie
grinned at him. "Well, sure. It's not too healthy for us all to be seen
together these days."
"You're
Cainists .. Deliann breathed.
"Like
I tolja before," Tommie said, chuckling, "sometimes it's you bright
guys that have the hardest time figurin' shit out."
The
laughter this brought from the group was warm as a hug. Another knock came, and
Tommie growled, "Whaddaya want?" and the reply that came back wasn't
an answer.
"It's
Caja, Tommie. Let me in."
The
room fell deadly silent.
Tommie
sighed. "Shit, they broke him," he said, and the door shattered open
and shouting men in grey leather flooded the room, firing crossbows in a
stuttering drumroll as they came. Quarrels hit chests and faces and heads from
so close that they burst out the far sides in sprays of blood and splinters of
bone. The impact slammed men and women into each other, going in screaming
tangles to the floor, and Deliann could only stare, his mouth shaping a silent No.
"Get
down get down get down get down!" screamed the men in grey. "On the floor hands in sight get
down!"
Deliann
found his voice, and the voice he found said, "No."
Now
more men came through the door, and crossbows swung to cover him. "On
the floor!"
Deliann
rose from his chair, and the fire at his back haloed him with a red-gold gleam.
"There's been too much killing."
"There'll
be more if you don't lie down," one of them said.
"I
suppose you're right," he said sadly, as the fire behind him roared up
from its ring of brick and spread phoenix wings that spanned the room: wings
that enfolded him, and held him in an embrace of flame.
Quarrels
leaped from crossbows, and Deliann did not lie down.
8
The
slow, sticky drizzle was just strong enough to keep the birds off Tup's corpse.
It
was an old, tired, swampy kind of rain, warm as spit, dirty and half jellied
with the ash and smoke it halfheartedly tried to wash from the sky. It left
faint wandering rings of grey like reverse-image sweat stains across the white
cotton of Deliann's tunic. The rain sank into the Great Chambaygen with barely
a ripple; here at the downstream fringe of Alientown, the river was permanently
oiled with industrial, sludge and grease and human waste. The Chambaygen's
surface looked slick and flexible; it shifted and rolled like a plastic bag
full of guts.
Deliann
stood on the sand of Commons' Beach, a few steps outside the cordon of
PatrolFolk that closed off the ceremony. Their line blocked the whole width of
the beach and sealed the mouths of both Ridlin Street and Piper's Alley—a
living barrier of alternating scarlet and black bodies, keeping at bay the mass
of curious humanity that peered toward the funerary barge. Here and there along
the cordon Deliann could see a face he recognized—but he always glanced away
before eye could meet eye, and pulled his broad-brimmed hat a touch lower over
his brow.
The
PatrolFolk—alternating human Knights of Cant with unhuman Faces—were armored,
and bore staves bound with bright brass rings for crowd control. Each also
carried a personal sidearm slung to his or her belt: broadswords, axes, maces,
and warhammers were all in evidence, and the gleam in many a coldly suspicious
eye was a clear invitation to bloodshed. They looked chilled and wet and
miserable, and they were begging each and every unwelcome human gawker to give
them any excuse.
Beyond
the PatrolFolk, the entire west end of Commons' Beach was scattered with Faces
and AG staffers: knots of grieving primals and stonebenders, a few ogres, some
humans, ogrilloi, and six or seven sleepy trolls who scowled and rubbed
their eyes, uncomfortable with even the dim light leaking through the heavy
overcast. The biggest knot clustered around Kierendal's canopied sedan chair.
Beneath
the canopy, Kierendal held a handkerchief to her mouth. Her eyes were dry,
unblinking, and her face might have been carved from pale grey ice. Each time
she moved the handkerchief from her mouth to her forehead to mop the
fever-sweat from her brow, she revealed sharp predator's teeth through which
she panted shallowly, like a cat in pain. Many of the AG staffers wept openly;
Kierendal stared at the clouds with black rage, as though she believed eagles
might answer the intensity of her need.
With
his dirty cloak—already soaked with the ashy drizzle—thrown about his
shoulders, and his rumpled broad-brimmed hat drawn low, Deliann looked less
like a large, broad-shouldered primal than a small slim human. To come here
today, to share even his limited, disconnected sense of Tup's loss, he'd had to
pretend to be exactly what he was.
This
irony made him feel only a little filthier than the sand beneath his feet.
He
had been on the run ever since that night in the Warrens, hiding, moving,
trusting no one, huddling in alleys, crawling under collapsed roofs of
fire-gutted buildings, never sleeping, foraging for scraps. He was closer to
starvation than he had been even in his first days on the planet, but he didn't
really care.
Fever
had stolen his appetite.
The
pocket of infection within his thigh had swelled, and now sent streaks of red
up through his hip, reaching for his heart. He drew Flow constantly, holding
down the pain, trying to slow the infection's progress, but it was a losing
battle; he needed professional healing, but he had no money. Any who once might
have healed him for free worked for Kierendal.
His
exhaustion sent his fever flashing and flickering from memory to fantasy and
back again; sometimes he could make out a hallucinatory scene, and sometimes
all he had were screams and the silhouettes of shapes seen dimly through a
curtain of flame.
If
he so much as closed his eyes‑
-the
fire bursts out from within its ring of brick and the whole room starts to go
up like a torch and the Cats fall back as Deliann and Tommie scramble out a
window, but there's more of them outside waiting in the street and both ends of
the alley and Deliann's flame springs out an instant too late as a crossbow
quarrel goes through Tommie's guts, missing the bone and ripping straight
through his stomach and out a kidney, and Deliann's answering flame ignites
buildings on all sides. "See?" Tommie coughs, palm pressed against
the spurting hole in his belly, "guess I don't have to worry about
your HRVP after all ..." and Deliann is carrying him, holding him up with
one arm around his shoulders, limping along the alleyway, clearing the Cats
from around them with blasts of flame, and Tommie's saying, "Neela ...
gods, Neela, take the money, go ... at least try ..." when another
crossbow bolt that should have hit Deliann in the neck takes Tommie in the back
of the head. His skull is strong enough to stop the forged steel vanes so it
doesn't go all the way through—its barbed head pokes out through his eye socket
with his eyeball punctured and dangling on his cheek—and he starts to convulse
and Deliann can't hold him anymore and the last thing he says is ". . .
shit goes bad by itself ... Neela ..." and he dies in the mud with the
fire roaring all around them‑
-and
he swayed and almost fell, there on the beach, and the sudden motion jerked
open his eyes. He swiped his sleeve across his brow, gasping.
The
rain on the beach was solidifying now, turning from a misty spray to a thicker
drizzle that splashed on the sand. Deliann pulled his cloak up, and snugged his
hat lower on his head.
The
sand of the Commons' Beach half covered a scatter of greasy food wraps, fish
heads, and splintered poultry bones with a dusting of damp shit-brown. Deliann
had tried to scuff some of the litter away, to find a relatively clean place to
stand, but each swipe of his sandals only revealed a new layer of trash.
Tup's
funerary barge was barely the width of Deliann's outstretched arms, and less
than twice that long. Built of plaited reeds, it was already softening and
pulling apart like a straw hat left in the rain. She should have been suspended
high in an oak, but no trees grow on the bank of the Great . Chambaygen at
Ankhana; the compromise Kierendal had settled upon was to join the treetopper
custom with that of the First Folk, and so the corpse that once had housed the
life of Tup lay on this disintegrating raft in the river, a fish-oil lamp
sizzling at each of its four corners.
The
mortal remains of the little treetopper were staked in the center of the barge;
thin cords—no more than bits of string—tied her ankles to one stake, and her
wrists to another above her head. Her tiny mouth gaped darkness, and her eyes
stared unblinking up into the rain. Gaping also was the long slice that opened
her belly from the yellow-red bone of her sternum all the way to her brush of
feathery pubic hair. The lips of this gash were threaded with coarse black
stitching; to these stitches were knotted further threads of black that spread
fanlike to either side of the corpse; tied to the reeds of the barge, the fans
of black thread held the gash-lips wide, fully exposing their mouthful of
intestine, liver, and stomach.
Bits
of metal, tiny mirrors, and jewels of glass made a carefully arranged starburst
around her, salted with bits of raw meat gone already high. The sparkle
and the scent of emergent rot should have drawn crows and vultures, perhaps
even an eagle, to feed on the exposed entrails, and so properly begin the
body's dissolution into the earth that had borne it, even as the life that had
animated it had now dissolved into the Flow—but the tainted rain kept the
scavengers away.
Deliann
didn't know if Kierendal could survive this.
The
slowly twisting knife of Kierendal's pain turned within his guts; he stared
from beyond the cordon, suffering with her. The ache in his chest was like the
stroke of a lash over salted cuts: more pain than he could stand, but less than
he deserved.
There
was a sort of current in the knots of Folk gathered on the beach; they seemed
to cling together, sharing their grief and their memories of Tup, but every
once in a while someone—a primal here, a stonebender there, even the occasional
ogrillo or human—would break off from one of the knots and join another; that
knot, larger now, would soon spawn offspring of its own, eddies of grief that
brought each of them into contact with each other. The contact might be as
intimate as a sobbing embrace, or as brief and distant as a nod of the head and
a shared grimace of sympathy.
He
ached to join those eddies of grief; if he could touch someone and be touched
by them, even for an instant, he would not feel so hideously alone. He tried to
summon Tup's living face, tried to hold a memory of her, tried at least to feel
some real respect for the loss that her friends and lover had suffered, but he
couldn't. Standing in the rain, head bent, hating himself, he could only really
think about how much he hurt.
And
could he be that shallow, after all?
Again
he swayed, dizzy, weakening, and his eyes drifted closed‑
-he
leans his simmering forehead against the cool strap of iron that binds together
the door slats of an apartment in the Industrial Park. "No," he says,
"no, don't open the door. Get your mother. I need to talk to your
mother," and he sags against the iron, turning his face to bring his cheek
against it, using the chill to shore up his crumbling courage. When the woman's
voice comes hesitantly through the door, "Tommie? What's going on? Who are
you? Where's Tommie? Has something happened to my husband?" all he can say
is, "Don't open the door. There's a fire," he says. "There's a
fire, and you have to get out." Her voice goes shrill, "What do you
mean, a fire? Where's Tommie?" and finally he has to say it:
"Tommie's dead, Neela. He's dead and you have to go," and she says
"I don't understand! How can he be dead?" and all he can say is,
"There's a fire," and as he says it he makes it so: curls of smoke
leak from the slats of the door beneath his palms. "Go out the back. Take
your clothes and all the money and go," he tells her, and she shrieks
back at him, "Who are you? What happened to Tommie? Who are you?" and
he says, "Nobody. I'm nobody at all," as he thinks I'm the king of
the dyes‑
-and
that thought shocked him awake on the sand, staggering, grasping a nearby
shoulder for support. The shoulder belonged to a stranger, another of the
onlookers, a woman, and she struck his hand away, then delivered a stinging
slap across his face. She paused one more second, to spit a bigot's epithet,
then shoved away through the crowd.
Deliann
shook his head, rubbing his stinging cheek. His wish had been granted: to
touch, and be touched.
How
is it that everything I do comes out backward?
At
this thought, he glanced over his shoulder involuntarily, reflexively—And so
was the first of the onlookers at Tup's funeral to see the massed infantry
squares marching toward them, along the beach from Nobles' Way. He could not
tell if they were real, or phantoms born of his exhaustion and fever, and did
it matter?
His
only answer was flame.
Fire
was so easy, so fast: a reflexive spurt of power that pulsed down his arms to
spray from his fingertips, a kundalini roar from the base of his spine. With a
gesture, he could draw down the arrows of the sun.
With
real screams and real blood, the fever dream unfolds
The
infantry marches along Commons' Beach, and there are archers behind them. The
PatrolFolk who had cordoned Tup's funeral unlimber their weapons, and the human
onlookers surge against each other in cross-rippling waves, trying all at once
both to see what is happening and to get out of its way, and Deliann, crushed
among them, thinks It's just like Tommie, but this time I won't run. I can't
run. I am their king, and this is my place, and with his gesture a sheet of
flame roars from the sand toward the grey-leaking clouds, a towering
ragged-fringed bastion of fire from the buildings to the river, but the
infantry keeps marching and now arrows begin to fly, catching fire as they pass
phffthp through the flame, and when they strike flesh, clothing burns
and now the beach sizzles with screaming burning wounded people scattering:
sparks from a kicked-over bonfire.
Deliann
clears Piper's Alley with a gout of fire two hundred yards long, sending the
troops that had filled. it scrambling away coughing blood out of scorched
lungs, and the panicked Folk upon the beach flow toward the alley mouth like
water toward the breach in a river dam. Deliann swings himself back to the
east, to turn his fire upon the advancing infantry in truth now, to roast
them within their armor and fill the Ankhanan skies with the smoke of burning
corpses, and a hand like the claw of an Ilmarinen MachineWorks steam shovel
falls upon his shoulder. He looks back and up into protuberant fist-sized
yellow eyes shot through with red, and Rugo the ogre slobbers regretfully
around his brass-capped tusks: "Knew I s'oulda kiltya before. Now I'm
gonna get in s'it with Kier," and the last Deliann sees is a barrel-sized
fist scaled with grey-green horn descending toward his face like a boulder offa
cliff.
The
man who had been a god paused upon the mountaintop, victorious. He had gained
these heights by wit and will, and from here he could see before him the
promised land.
He
could see from where he had come, he could see where he wished to go, but he
failed to see where he was; for though he had been a god, he was now a man.
From
his very first step down the far side of the mountain, he began to learn what
it is to be human.
ELEVEN
The
story trickled onto the nets in exactly the kind of dribs and drabs most likely
to keep the cauldron of public prurience at a rolling boil. First the fire at
the Curioseum, and the suggestion of sabotage and arson by a shadowy group of
eco-terrorists, the Green Knights; then came the Where is Caine? stories,
as a source within MicroNet confirmed that Hari Michaelson's Mantrak anklet had
vanished from the satellite position grid and the courts had presumptively
seized his house and all his assets.
The
investigation of the Green Knights led the CID to one Administrator Kerry
Voorhees, the head of Biocontainment for the San Francisco Studio. Professional
Voorhees was unavailable for comment but a few of her associates in
Biocontainment were extensively interviewed, and they spoke of certain
behavioral changes that seemed to have begun with Voorhees'
"friendship" with Shanna Leighton. When CID searched Administrator
Voorhees' Oakland apartment, coded documents relating to the Green Knights were
found in her desk's datacore, as was a journal that suggested her relationship
with Shanna Leighton went somewhat beyond friendship.
The
real fury began when a reliable source within the Studio leaked clips from the
security records of the Curioseum fire, when the public learned how close the
world had come to losing Caine forever—and when an enterprising reporter
uncovered the enlightening fact that the Studio had bought Michaelson's house
and the rights to his Adventures back from the civic treasury.
The
mystery of Michaelson's disappearance now took on massive conspiratorial
overtones, with rumors of secret missions and Studio-sponsored death squads.
Had the Studio killed him? There was, for the space of twenty-four hours, a
rumor that Michaelson had been seen entering a backstreet cosmetic surgery
clinic in Kabul; was he truly on the run, or had the Studio sent him undercover
to strike back at the eco-terrorists? And what, in all this, was the connection
to the HRVP outbreak on Overworld, and the—by now popularly
confirmed—homosexual love affair between Pallas Ril and the terrorist Kerry
Voorhees?
After
two days, the partially decomposed body of Administrator Voorhees was found
floating in the Bay; in the datacore of her palmpad was a full confession. She
had dusted supplies waiting for transshipment to the Transdeian mining colony
with test samples of several different HRVP strains. This was done, her
obviously unbalanced account claimed, to draw public attention to the dangers
of Earth exploitation of Overworld resources.
She
had made this recording in the depths of guilt and the agony of having been
betrayed, when she realized that her lover, Shanna Leighton—her mentor, her
idol—had deceived her. Entertainer Leighton had never intended to halt the
outbreak; she instead had sworn to go to Overworld and, as Pallas Ril, carry on
the fight against any who would harm the natural world—against any who would
till the earth for crops to feed a family, against any who would so much as
gather fallen wood for a fire.
Kerry
Voorhees could not live with having done the unthinkable. And the unthinkable
had been done—as Jed Clearlake himself notably observed with the sort of
tragi-ironic bon mot of which most net reporters can only dream—for love of
Pallas Ril.
In
the furor of the search for Caine, Gayle Keller became an instant celebrity and
came off quite well on his many netshow interviews. His somewhat oily facade of
unrevealable inside knowledge was nicely balanced by his staunch defense of
Chairman Michaelson: loyalty is a primary virtue in an Artisan. He repeatedly
insisted that Chairman Michaelson was devoted to his job, to the Studio, and to
the world—that he was a real team player. The Chairman had acted hastily, true,
in sending Pallas Ril to Overworld without first investigating the source of
the outbreak, but you have to remember who he had been, don't you? Caine was a
man of action; Chairman Michaelson had seen a chance to end the crisis almost
instantly, and at virtually no cost to the Studio. That was responsible
Administrating, no matter the unfortunate outcome. He certainly could not have
known how unbalanced his wife had become, nor could he have had any idea what
she was planning.
"What
man, after all," Keller pointed out with a wry shrug, once in each
interview, "ever really knows what a woman is thinking?"
When
the mystery of Michaelson's disappearance was finally solved, it fell to Studio
President Businessman Westfield Turner to break the tragic news to a shocked
and saddened public. At a press conference with the Roman facade of the Leisure
Centre in Geneva for a backdrop, Businessman Turner spoke to the world.
"Late
last week, San Francisco Studio Chairman Administrator Hari Michaelson—courageously,
and without consideration for his personal safety—consented to join with the
Studio and the Overworld Company in a clandestine effort to combat the most
terrible threat that the people of Overworld have ever faced: the cowardly,
vicious bio-terrorist who infected that pristine and innocent place—killing
hundreds, perhaps thousands, and placing millions at risk—the ruthless Pallas
Ril.
"The
effort was successful, the danger averted. Pallas Ril and her savage terrorist
organization can never again threaten the safety of the innocent millions of
Overworld. But this victory has come at a terrible price."
Businessman
Turner paused here and could be seen to take a deep, slow breath: clearly
moved, and steeling himself for what he must next reveal. "It is my sad
duty to inform you all that Administrator Michaelson—along with Administrator
Vinson Garrette, Professionals Gregor Prohovtsi and Nicholas Dvorak-gave his
life in this effort."
Businessman
Turner went on to touch briefly upon some of Michael-son's accomplishments, his
rise from the 'Temp slum of San Francisco's Mission District to the
Chairmanship of the jewel in the Studio's crown, his services to the Studio and
to the world as Caine.
Operations
were now under way to recover his body, lost in the cliffs below Khryl's
Saddle. According to Chairman Michaelson's expressed wishes, his remains would
not be returned to Earth, but would be transported to the city he loved best,
Ankhana, for burial. The San Francisco Studio—already shut down for a security
review in the wake of the terrorist attack on the Curioseum—would remain
shuttered for a month in respect for his memory, and Studios around the world
would close for three days of official mourning.
"The
job Hari started isn't over; there is work still to be done, to protect
Overworld from the scourge of HRVP. Even as I speak, the Adventures Unlimited
Biocontainment Administrator is organizing the largest and most comprehensive
antiviral relief effort in the history of mankind. As Studio President, I offer
my personal word that the Studio is in this to the very end. The job Hari gave
his life to begin, I swear that we will finish."
Businessman
Turner slicked his snowy hair back with one palm and took another deep breath
to steady his voice; his barely restrained tears picked up the glare of the
klieg lights and made his eyes sparkle like tiny daggers. "In closing,
I would like to urge Leisurefolk the world over to support the Studio's
petition before the Leisure Congress. In the name of the Studio, I ask that
Chairman Administrator Hari Khapur Michaelson be posthumously awarded Earth's
highest civilian honor: the Medal of Freedom.
"And
finally, on behalf of all the peoples of Overworld, and all the people of Earth
"Good-bye,
Caine. Thank you. You will be missed."
Finally
overcome, Businessman Turner waved aside all questions and left the podium,
mopping at his eyes; he was seen weeping openly as he was led away by his
aides.
The
newsworks had obviously been prepared for this announcement they had an array
of recorded reactions from a variety of Michaelson's friends and associates. Of
them all, perhaps Leisureman Marc Vilo—in his own rough-hewn way—said it best. "Hari
was always the guy you could count on to do what had to be done. Sure, he loved
her; everyone remembers his final Adventure. But she crossed the line. Like he
always said: 'A man's gotta shoot his own dog.' When you come down to it, l
guess that's what he did."
2
There
were too many loose ends, and the Studio's PR line was too convenient, too
neat; competing stories ran wild through the net. The Studio fell officially
silent, and that silence only fed the flames—if they're not talking, the theory
ran, there must be something they're not talking about. It was generally
agreed that the "something" was most likely the full extent of the
HRVP outbreak. Within days, hundreds of netsites were filled with speculation;
the first hint of hard news came, unsurprisingly, through Adventure Update, when
the show broadcast a leaked internal Studio report that HRVP had been
identified in the Ankhanan capital. Eventually, the Studio confirmed these
reports.
The
Ankhanans, on the other hand, seemed to believe that the spasm of random
violence that had overtaken the capital was part of a concerted terror effort
by Cainists, in response to recent mass arrests and detentions. Patriarch
Toa-Sytell had declared a state of martial law, and the army was currently
engaged in rounding up the remaining Cainists and their sympathizers and
collaborators—and apparently anyone else that someone had taken a particular
dislike to—all in preparation for a barbaric autoda-fé that was planned for the
fast-approaching Festival of the Assumption. It hadn't been difficult to locate
a suitably large number of victims; this was not so different from the reign of
terror in Ma'elKoth's final days. As many of the commentators gleefully pointed
out, Ankhanans had developed a certain taste for witch-hunts.
More
disturbing were reports that came from Actors in the capital, along with some
spectacular recordings. Open warfare had erupted in the subhuman ghetto of
Allentown, pitting the Ankhanan constabulary and some elements of the imperial
infantry against a large paramilitary organization of subhumans, most likely
members of the transplanted Warren-gang known as the Faces. When the mundane
Ankhanan constables found themselves overmatched by the potent magicks of the
subhumans, they had responded by summoning the Grey Cats and the capital
contingent of the Thaumaturgic Corps.
The
battle raged for more than a day through the streets of the ghetto, leaving
nearly a sixth of the city in rubble and flames, but it had ended with the
Imperial forces firmly in control. Mop-up operations were being directed by the
Grey Cats, and commentators on the nets spent several days shaking their heads,
tsk-tsking the savagery of the conflict, and arguing whether blame for the
massacre lay with the "semicivilized fringe elements and squatters"
or with the "small faction of irresponsible witch-hunters driving public
policy."
Public
interest in Studio affairs hit a seven-year high; not since For Love of
Pallas Ril had a situation on Overworld so captured the public's
imagination. The Studio's in-house profit projections were so outrageously
positive that representatives of Studio President Turner publicly announced he
would be entering binding arbitration on a new contract, expected to nearly
double his current salary.
Amid
all this furor, it was—perhaps inevitably—Jed Clearlake who scored the
journalistic prize of the year: a live interview with the former Emperor of
Ankhana himself.
"It
is clear," Tan'elKoth said
darkly, turning slightly so that the light would properly halo his magnificent
profile, "that the Studio has not told the entire story. Consider: less
than seven years ago, Caine destroyed my government—sparking a bloody war of
succession—to save the life of Pallas Ril. I do not believe he would act
against her, no matter what the provocation.
"That
she was mad, and a threat to every living soul on my world, I do not deny; as
you may recall, I fought her hand-to-hand—and mind-to-mind. I knew her better
than did even her husband, I believe. But nothing I could say would ever sway
him in the least, not when it touched upon Pallas Ril. He claimed once that to
save her, he would burn the world.
"This,
I believe, is precisely the truth.
"He
is that wayward, that selfish, that scornful of the needs of society and
civilization.
"And
this drivel about his request to be buried in Ankhana? It's ridiculous. Ankhana
was not his home; it was where he worked.
He loves it no more than a clerk loves his cubicle."
At
this point, Clearlake smoothly picked up on something that the viewing public
might not have noticed: that Tan'elKoth still spoke of Chairman Michaelson in
the present tense.
"Of
course I do," Tan'elKoth said
with his characteristically suave cool. "I do not believe that Caine is
dead."
Clearlake
sputtered like a faulty datacore; Tan'elKoth only smiled into the video pickup.
When Clearlake finally managed to stammer out his question, Tan'elKoth replied
without hesitation.
"Certainly
President Turner lied. Studio executives always lie; it is for this that they
are paid. The question is, What was it, precisely, that he was lying about? If
Caine is dead, where is the body? `Lost in the cliffs below Khryl's Saddle,'
indeed," he said scornfully. "Is
it truly Khryl's Saddle—or is it Reichenbach Falls?"
He
turned and faced the entire world through the netcamera pickup. "Until
I see Hari Michaelson's corpse with my own eyes—until I hold his cold,
unbeating heart in my own hand —I will never believe that Caine is dead."
He
opened his hands before his face, not an appeal but a conjurer's flourish.
"Show me the body, President Turner. Show the body to us all. Either
show us the body, or admit the truth: somewhere, somehow, Caine lives."
Entertainer
Clearlake was no stranger to controversy; some said that he had built his dream
home within the eye of a hurricane. There is, however, a clear
difference between riding out a storm and twisting a dragon's tail. Wisely, he
let that line of questioning drop, favoring instead a neutral wrap-up: "And
what now for you, Professional? Back to work in your own private studio?"
"I
think not. My people—my world—are still threatened by the disease this madwoman
inflicted upon them. The elimination of Pallas Ril does not save my world. The
Studio and the Overworld Company have begun a massive containment operation,
putting at risk thousands of lives and costing billions of marks, with every
probability of failure, while they ignore an option that is obvious, effective
and inexpensive.
"They
can send me back.
"Back
to my world. Back to my people, who cry out for me in their anguish. I can do
in truth what Pallis Ril only pretended: wipe out HRVP on Overworld—at a cost
to the Studio of precisely zero."
He
turned to the video pickup, speaking again to the whole world. Some trick of
the light made his eyes seem to burn from within, as though a crust of stone
had broken to reveal an unexpected flow of lava below. "This is your
choke: Spend billions and fail, or save the world for free. If Caine
is dead in truth, can you so insult his memory? Let him have died in vain? Do
not make his sacrifice go for naught. You know what must be done. "Send me
home."
3
The
doors of the Social Police riot van opened onto full night on a rooftop landing
pad, floodlit a pale frog-belly white. Tan'elKoth shook a fist-sized knot of
tension from his massive shoulders and stepped out onto the weather-cracked
asphalt.
He
breathed slowly and deeply, consciously forcing himself to stay loose, relaxed,
ready. Mental preparedness was the key: he must be ready to react smoothly and
naturally to any eventuality. Though this would be easier, he reminded himself
mordantly, if he had one bloody idea what he might be preparing for.
The
riot van had been waiting for him on the landing pad outside the Adventure
Update soundstage, where he had expected to find a Studio limousine; now,
looking back on it, he found ominous the manner in which Entertainer Clearlake
had wished him luck before signing off the live interview. That slight squint
before he had spoken, that faint glazing of the eye—had a warning come over his
earpiece? Had some whispering tech hinted that Tan'elKoth had fallen afoul of
Soapy?
A
cold suspicion settled onto the back of his neck. He had watched on a security
monitor as Kollberg and the Social Police had ambushed Caine.
This
landing pad was on the roof of a low building surrounded by looming residential
domes. The riot van rested squarely at the crux of a large cross of paint that
had once been red, but now had faded to a scuffed and dirty pastel pink, within
a wide circle of sooty grey. This was some kind of hospital, then.
Had
been some kind of hospital,
Tan'elKoth corrected himself The rooftop was now ringed with Social Police riot
vans identical to the one in which he had arrived, turrets bristling with cannon
that pointed outward and below, fanned to coverall approaches.
Or,
perhaps, all exits.
One
of the faceless officers gestured toward an open access door across the
rooftop, and Tan'elKoth started toward it, sliding his thumbs beneath the
bandolier straps of his ammod harness. It must be binding him up, somehow, or
perhaps he had fastened it too tightly over his heavy sweater; he was having a
certain difficulty drawing breath.
The
access door opened onto an unlit stair: a dark rectangular reces sion into
oblivion. It exhaled a breath of acid sweat, ammoniac urine and bubbling green
decay, as though the stairwell were the throat of a scavenger slowly dying of
some awful necrosis of the bowels.
Tan'elKoth
paused. Hannto the Scythe—Hannto the timid, the weakling, the coward—had
somehow struggled to the very gates of Tan'elKoth's mind. Or perhaps not so
much the coward: Hannto urged Tan'elKoth to turn upon the Social Police
officers beside him, to attack, to crush and kill them, and to be cut down in
turn. Better a clean death, up here in this gritty smog-choked simulacrum of
open air, than to be swallowed by that unimaginable throat.
Nearly
all the lives within him wept with fear; Ma'elKoth, the god himself—even He
counseled caution. Lamorak had nothing to say; that dark shade huddled in
wordless terror in some black and forgotten corner, for the breath of the
stairwell smelled of the Donjon, of the Theater of Truth.
It
smelled of the Shaft.
One
of the soapies reached toward him, and Tan'elKoth tensed, expecting a stroke
from a shock baton; instead, he was astonished to find that the soapy only
touched his arm with one gauntleted hand and leaned toward him to speak softly
through his digitizer.
"Go
on in," the soapy said, with as close to a human tone as Tan'elKoth had
ever heard from one of them. "It's better if you don't keep him
waiting."
The
other soapies turned helmets toward each other, nodding infinitesimal
agreement; their gauntlets twisted upon their weapons as though their hands
ached too much to find a comfortable grip. That transitory brush with the
humanity behind those silver masks, so unexpected, turned the twist of nerves
in Tan'elKoth's stomach into an icy dread that settled into his bones; it was
terrifying to imagine that Social Police might feel some kinship of
apprehension.
As
though what awaited him below frightened even them.
With
a deep, shuddering breath, Tan'elKoth descended the stair, and was swallowed by
darkness.
4
Below,
he found a nightmare of baffled, terrified Laborers and Adminstrators and
Physicians, of blood and sobs and shit and screams, of silver-masked Social
Police standing robotic guard. Within, the only light came from the bleached
wash of emergency floods. The acid stink of human fear mingled with the mildew
that leached from the filthy carpet beneath his feet, nearly overpowering the
sweet metallic earth-smell of blood and shit.
He
moved through the reeking shadows of a long, narrow corridor, and out into an
open space that had been some kind of office; the wreckage of several desks lay
among the tumbled carpet-covered panels that Tan'elKoth assumed had once been
cubicle walls. Here and there were knots of wretched people in the tattered
remnants of Laborer dress—some clutched desperately at each other, some sobbed
softly, and some merely stared blankly at the brown stains on the walls.
Also
among the wreckage were pieces of what had probably been at least three people:
a severed hand here, there a head pulped like a hammered watermelon, a tangled
knot of intestine looped over the remains of a water cooler. The ferric slugs
from power rifles littered the floor, and one office wall was now only a
tattered framework of slug holes. More corpses, here and there, were half
buried in the broken ruin of office furniture; something had been chewing on
them, gnawing at their flesh—not to feed, but rather out of some restless urge
to use its jaws: a dog mindlessly worrying a marrow bone.
An
infant, teething.
The
shootings had been only the beginning. Someone had been playing among the
corpses: someone had braided their guts into tangled ropes, had popped out
their eyeballs and disjointed the mangled bodies like a bored child pulling
apart its dolls. Tan'elKoth had no doubt who this bored child was. He could see
him.
In
the middle of the floor, his dungarees down around his knees, buttocks pulsing
between the thighs of a woman with empty eyes and a mouth like a smear of
blood. His pitted scalp was unmistakable.
Kollberg.
The
woman's only clothing was a brown-crusted bandage that covered the flat wound
where her right breast had once been. Even as Tan'elKoth watched, Kollberg
lowered his face to her one remaining breast and sank his teeth into her
nipple. Blood spurted up across his eyes. The woman only grunted, likely near
death from shock. Kollberg dug his face in, chewing deeper and deeper into her,
and Tan'elKoth had to lower his eyes.
The
other chewed-upon corpses . . . those that were female, the breasts had been
torn away. Each corpse that had been male now had only ragged bite wounds in
place of its penis. With their equally flat chests and equally empty groins,
the corpses bore a gruesome, crudely chopped resemblance to each other: they
had been surgically homogenized by a blunt scalpel of rotten teeth.
And
this, Tan'elKoth thought emptily,
is what I chose for an ally, against Caine and Pallas Ril.
0
abandoned gods, what have I done?
Kollberg
looked up from the shuddering death spasms of the woman and caught Tan'elKoth's
eye. He stretched his neck ophidically: a snake basking in warm tropic sun.
"Welcome to my home," he said. "Do you like it? I furnished it
myself."
Tan'elKoth
held his silence.
Kollberg
pushed himself up to his knees, off the woman's corpse; he stuffed his penis
back inside his dungarees without so much as wiping off the half-clotted blood
that caked it. "You," he said thoughtfully, still squatting,
"are not a team player."
5
He
rose, and approached Tan'elKoth closely enough that the ex-Emperor had to turn aside
from the reek of his breath. "I think your heart's mostly in the right
place, you understand, but there are one or two things that you don't seem to
understand."
How
much does he know? How much does he know about Faith? The myriad that populated the ex-Emperor's mind
gibbered and cringed, but he was more than they: he was Tan'elKoth, and he
would not flinch. "I understand this: You dare not harm me," he said
firmly. "I am no common Laborer, who can be made to disappear without
uproar and alarm. Your best hope of life is to release me and pray that I hold
my tongue."
Kollberg
stretched up onto his toes, until the top of his head nearly reached
Tan'elKoth's chin; he swiveled his head and angled his face so that his fetid
breath wafted upward as he spoke. "You still don't understand."
Tan'elKoth
took a step backward—no amount of fortitude could enable him to stomach that
stench—and he would have taken another, but that first step had brought his
back into solid contact with one of the soapies who stood immovably behind him.
"I have friends and admirers upon the Leisure Congress itself, do you
understand? I can no more be detained or harmed than could Caine. Your own
Board of Governors oversees my welfare—and I imagine that they would be ...
disturbed ... by your lifestyle."
Kollberg
took a step back, still on his toes, his head cocked, squinting at the
ex-Emperor so tightly that it pulled up the corners of his rubbery lips into a
humorlessly acquisitive smile. "Let me explain."
A
sharp stroke from a shock baton across the back of Tan'elKoth's neck he
collapsed into the bloody muck that covered the floor, twitching spastically.
One of the Social Police officers kicked him precisely in the groin, another in
the ribs, and a third in the kidneys while the fourth went to work on his head.
He could do no more to defend himself than writhe; the charge from the
shock baton had shut down his peripheral motor nerves, and his limbs would not
obey his will.
Tan'elKoth
gasped with every kick, and his gasps might have been sobs, if he'd had
strength to cry. A shock went through him at each blow, a wave of impact that
carried the impersonal malice of the Social Police through his every defense.
Helplessness wriggled in through his skin, into his blood, between the cords of
his muscle like screwworms digging down to the bone.
The
Social Police facelessly inflicted a dispassionate, thoroughly professional
stomping. One of these soapies had, only minutes ago, touched him as one man
does another; in a way, that made it worse.
6
He
must have lost consciousness, perhaps more than once. Some indefinable interval
later, the beating had ceased.
Awareness
gathered within him, correlating with the surge of sense impressions that grew
as though he had reached out and toggled up the volume on the world. A mild
discomfort, of the sort he might have suffered while he sat too long motionless
in meditation, swelled into a burning, throbbing ache along his ribs, into his
kidneys; at his groin it became a spike driven into his testicles—sharp and dull
simultaneously, familiar already, but still twisting his guts until he might
vomit.
Light
now: a dim bloody glow through closed lids. Squinting against it tightened
flesh across his raw and swollen face and screwed down a band of pain across
his brow. Someone cradled his head on a lap warm and wet; he feared to open his
eyes. And the smell—that feculent carnivorous stench
The
smell told him more than he could bear to see.
"Do
you understand now?" Kollberg asked, stroking Tan'elKoth's face like Mary
in the Pieta "Are we on the same page?"
Tan'elKoth
flinched.
He
couldn't help himself
His
face flushed with sudden shame, with the humiliation of discovering himself to
be so fragile. Some dispassionate part of his mind considered this, abstractly
wondering at the emotional power of a merely physical beating.
Kollberg
waited with reptilian patience, but Tan'elKoth could not answer.
"Well," Kollberg said vacantly. "You might guess that I didn't
find your interview with Entertainer Clearlake very funny. Not funny at all.
You think that I might not come through on my half of our bargain. That's
in suiting. You think that you can use public opinion and political
pressure to make me do what you want. That's more insulting."
He
bent his neck over Tan'elKoth's immobile face, close enough to kiss.
"Don't insult me. I don't like it."
Tan'elKoth
tried to speak, but the residue of the shock baton's randomizing pulse allowed
only a thick "Nnnh . . . nnnh ..." to pass his lips.
It
was as well; he was not yet in sufficient command of himself. He thought of
Faith, of her link to the rivergod, and hugged that thought to himself. If he
could hold on to that, keep it safely buried behind his eyes, he could still
come through this. All he had to do was survive. He would be Ma'elKoth again,
and on that day he would have the power to repay abuse a hundredfold.
"But
that wasn't what really made me angry." Kollberg didn't sound angry. He
didn't sound human. "I got angry when you started that drivel about
Michaelson being still alive. Then, when we reveal that he is still
alive, you have the public's confidence. You thought that was very clever. It was
very clever. There is another thing you need to understand about me."
He
leaned forward and took Tan'elKoth's wrist. "Clever people make me
hungry."
He
lowered his face as though he might chastely and reverently kiss the
ex-Emperor's hand—but instead, he closed his lips upon Tan'elKoth's smallest
finger, sucking it fully into his mouth like a five-copper whore warming up for
a blowjob. Tan'elKoth tried to speak, but still he could produce only a series
of bestial grunts.
Kollberg
bit down.
Tan'elKoth
said "... gunhg.. guhh ..."
Kollberg
chewed on the finger, worrying it, cracking the bone like a dog sucking marrow;
he turned his head to one side, wedged the finger back between his molars, bit
down again, and yanked his head from side to side until the bone splintered at
the knuckle and he could rip it free. Blood sprayed, and Kollberg fixed his
lips to the wound, sucking greedily.
Tan'elKoth's
guts spasmed, and he retched rackingly across Kollberg's knees. Thin, clear
vomit came out of the emptiness of his unused stomach, trailed down his legs,
and trickled into his shoes. Kollberg shrugged and let Tan'elKoth slide to the
floor; one of the officers took his hand and pressed a rag to the spurting
stump.
Kollberg
chewed on the severed finger for a moment longer, then swallowed it. He smiled
at Tan'elKoth with blood-smeared lips. "Now," he said thickly.
"Now you understand."
Tan'elKoth
trembled, aching for breath, trying to stop the new surge of vomit that
forced its way up his throat. Faith, he told himself. He still
doesn't know about Faith.
"Say
it. Say you understand."
Tan'elKoth
looked away, down, anywhere but at the creature's face. Clearly outlined
through Kollberg's dungarees was his stiffened penis, straining against the
fly.
"Say
it," Kollberg repeated. "I'm still hungry."
Tan'elKoth
struggled to make his numb, slack lips and tongue form the words. "I ...
unners'an' ..." he mumbled. "I unners'an'."
Kollberg
gestured, and gauntleted hands dragged Tan'elKoth's twitching body across the
room and balanced him on a tiny swivel chair in front of a child-sized desk.
The screen on this desk was already fully lit, showing the Adventures Unlimited
logo: the armored knight upon the back of a winged horse, rampant.
Hot
breath slid down the back of his neck, and that meaty voice came thick and wet
beside his ear. "I believe you wanted to have a word with the Board of
Governors, isn't that right?" he murmured warmly, almost lovingly.
"You wanted to tell them about me, mmm? Would you be interested to know
that they have been watching us, all this time?"
The
gradual return of motor function made Tan'elKoth shudder uncontrollably.
"T-t-true?" he stammered. "Is-z-z-z it?"
"Professional
Tan'elKoth," the digitized
voice from the screen replied, "you were told that Laborer Kollberg has
our full confidence in this matter. Are you not wise? Is not a word
sufficient?"
"Th-th-th-this
m-m-monster—th-this fiend you employ—"
"Mmm,
it seems there has been some ... misapprehension ... on your part,
Professional. Laborer Kollberg does not work for us."
"N-no?
But, but—"
"Not
at all. Quite the contrary, in fact; we work for him."
Tan'elKoth,
at that moment, wished only that he could use his arms well enough to stuff his
fingers in his ears, wished he could use his voice well enough to howl, wished
he could do anything at all to shut out the words he knew would come next.
"And
so do you."
The
logo vanished. The screen was as blank as Tan'elKoth's stare.
He
did understand. Finally, fatally, he did. He had thought he was the master of
history, that his fractal world-tree had grown according to his will. He had
allowed himself to be deceived.
He
had let himself believe that the Board of Governors was rational, when in truth
it was only hungry.
The
Bog, he thought. Caine's joke: the
acronym BOG. A word, in English, for swamp. A word, in a dead Slavic
language, for God
Kollberg
sighed. "You're thinking that Pallas is dead, and Caine is destroyed.
You're thinking, What other use can he have for me? Why am I still alive?"
Slowly,
unwillingly, Tan'elKoth forced himself to meet Kollberg's glassy dead-fish
stare. "Yes."
"Well,
first, you're still alive because we made a deal, and I don't break my
deals—not with my friends. And second, there is still something I need you to
do, before we send you back to Overworld."
Tan'elKoth
closed his eyes.
"I
need you to help me decide," Kollberg said, "how we should use Faith
Michaelson."
Tan'elKoth
lowered his head. He no longer had even the strength for anguish.
"Talk
to me," Kollberg said. "Talk."
Tan'elKoth
talked.
The
dark angel's spawn was a created thing, a golem, a half-silvered reflection of
its sire in a mirror of flesh. In the mind that dreams the world, each was a
symbol of the other, and in such dreams, symbol is reality; this is what is
called the law of similarity.
Each
was the other.
In
their mortal struggle, the dark angel and his spawn each fought against
himself.
TWELVE
The
Caineslayer leaned on the silvery weather-split rail that surrounded the roof
of the barge's deckhouse and stared out over the docks of Ankhana with eyes the
bleached blue-grey of a frozen river under a cloudless winter sky. He could
have been made of carved oak and knotted rope upholstered with leather; his
hair was shaved to an eighth-inch fuzz over his scalp, and muscle jumped at the
corners of his knife-edged jawline.
He
squinted one eye against the side-glare of the rising sun and thought about
destiny.
He
wore a simple tunic and pants of brown suede, loose and baggy, a shade or two
lighter than his skin. In the case by his cot in the deckhouse cabin were the
scarlet robes of a Monastic Ambassador, but he no longer wore them; he planned
to resign his diplomatic post as soon as he reached the Ankhanan Embassy.
But
after that—?
For
the first time in longer than he could remember, he didn't know what to do
next.
The
city around him now had been his home for more than twenty-four years; he had
been born here, had passed his childhood in a neighborhood of the Industrial
Park that could be seen from where he now stood. Behind him, across this
channel of the Great Chambaygen, rose the massive walls of Ankhana's Old Town,
great cliffs built of limestone blocks each near the size of the barge on which
he'd ridden the river from the God's Teeth, towering eight times the height of
a man, blackened with a thousand years of smoke and weather, dropping sheer to
the river's channel.
The
smithy built by the man he had called his father still stood, not far from
here; if he closed his ice-pale eyes, he could see the small room, off the
overhead chamber, where he had slept. With his powers of mind, he could view
himself at any age there, could see his parents as if they still lived, or
could cast forth his sight to capture the face of someone sleeping in that
tiny windowless room even on this bright morning. He could spy upon the
tenement where his first love had lived, or the cell beneath the Monastic
Embassy where he had spent so many hours kneeling in meditation. The city had
been a part of his family, a parent, the older brother he'd never had. And now
the city was sick.
Ankhana
was coming down with a virus.
The
city had been feeling poorly for some days now, feverish fancies invading its
collective dreams, but it did not yet comprehend just how ill it was. The
city's immune system—the Imperial constabulary and the army—had geared up to
fight off a bacterial infection: a growing internal colony called Cainism, a
philosophical disease that attacked the citizenry's faith in the Church of the
Beloved Children of Ma'elKoth, and in the Empire itself. This particular
infection, as it spread, emitted toxins that had caused painful abcesses of
disorder at the city's extremities of Alientown and the Warrens, and that had
occasionally pocked Old Town itself.
The
city's immune system was admirably suited to battle infections of this type;
these were swiftly contained, sequestered, and concentrated in only a few
places, where each individual. bacterium could be sanitized in turn. Yet aches
continued to settle into the city's joints, and its fever continued to inch
upward every day, for the city's true illness came from a virus.
A
virus is a wholly different order of disease.
A
black pall of smoke twisted upward from the northwest quadrant of the capital,
the Alientown ghetto. All the still-standing buildings that fronted the river
were blackened; most others had partially collapsed and still others had burned
to the ground. What little he could see of Alientown from here looked like the
scorched-earth shell of a castle after a marauding army has slaughtered all
within.
All
this meant little to the Caineslayer; he merely gazed incuriously at the
wreckage. The Caineslayer had been born in the mountains, five days ago. He did
not yet know his new life well. He could still be surprised by how the world
made him feel, because he did not react to it in the familiar patterns of his
former life; he was almost continuously startled by how different he had
become.
Now,
for example: standing here, he surmised that he was alone, or very nearly so,
in the knowledge of the city's illness. Perhaps only one or two of the hundreds
and thousands of people around him even understood the concept of viral
infection; he himself had not, until it had been explained to him in detail by
the late Vinson Garrette. And instead of leaping to the docks to cry the city's
doom, instead of racing to the embassy to warn the Acting Ambassador of the
danger, instead of taking any action at all upon his knowledge, he simply
leaned upon the rail, picking at its splinters with his fingernails, and
watched.
On
the dock below him was assembled the capital detachment of the Imperial Army
Band, two hundred strong, their instruments' brass gleaming gold in the bright
noontide sun. They stood at parade rest, horns and pipes slung like weapons,
their tall cylindrical caps white as clouds and festooned with braid as
iridescent as sun dogs. Within the band's broad arc stood a half century of
Household Knights at attention, their long hauberks shining under mantles of
maroon and gold, their halberd blades of scarlet steel flashing like torches.
He
wondered how many of them were sick: how many already had that boil of madness
festering within their brains.
A
ribbed gangplank joined the barge's deck to the dockside. At the gangplank's
foot waited a pair of stolid, thick-shouldered draft horses harnessed to a
large cart. A platform had been built upon the cart, rising perhaps four or
five feet above its bed, and on the platform was a sort of rack hastily
improvised out of splintery; warped scrap lumber. Waiting at the corners of the
cart were four friars, Esoterics despite the dirt-brown robes that proclaimed
their Monastic citizenship. Such robes are worn ordinarily only by Exoterics,
the public faces of the Monasteries. These robes served admirably to conceal
the Artan springless pellet bows that each man bore.
The
ice in the Caineslayer's eyes glinted with a new reflection: Down the long
ribbed gangplank from the deck to the dock, two friars—real Exoterics,
these—bore a litter. On the litter lay a medium-sized, ordinary-looking man of
middle age, black hair showing streaks of grey that matched the grey scattered
through his untrimmed week's growth of black beard. The man's arms dangled,
limp, over the litter's rails, as though he were unconscious; the Caineslayer
knew that he was not.
The
man did not move because only immobility could hurt more than motion: the man
held himself still because to move might lessen his suffering, and that he
could not bear. For him, only pain had meaning.
For
five days—since the moment of his birth—the Caineslayer had kept company with
this man, first on the train down the western slope of Khryl's Saddle to the
riverport of Harrakha, then on the barge downriver from Harrakha to the
Empire's capital. The Caineslayer had taken his meals in the ugly deck shelter
of scrap wood and filth-crusted canvas that had served this man for his cabin,
had slept there, read there, had done his daily exercises there; the
Caineslayer had knelt beside this man's rude cot for his daily prayers to the
Savior, the Ascended Ma'elKoth.
He
had never left this man's side, because to leave would be to miss the pain. The
Caineslayer ate this man's pain, drank it, breathed it, soaked it
in through his pores. It was his reason for existence. This man had many
names, of which the Caineslayer knew some few; he numbered them in his head while
he watched the friars who had borne the litter lift the crippled man and chain
him upright to the rack upon the wagon's platform.
Dominic,
this man said he had been called by the slaver from whom he claimed to have
escaped, in the days before his arrival at the abbey of Garthan Hold; in
Kirisch-Nar, where he had fought in the catpits, he was known as Shade; among
the surviving remnants of the Khulan Horde, he had once been k'Thal, and was
now known only as the Betrayer, or the Hated One. In the Ankhanan Empire, he
had been called the Blade of Tyshalle, and the Prince of Chaos, and the Enemy
of God. In the land of Arta, the Aktiri world, he had been named
Administrator Hari Khapur Michaelson.
But
everywhere he was known by one of these names, he was better known by another
name, his true name, the name he'd been given by the Abbot of Garthan Hold.
Caine.
It
was the Caineslayer's greatest pride that he had taken this name of legend and
made of it a mere sound: a monosyllabic grunt of contempt.
2
On
the cold dawn of his birth, when he had let himself into the railcar
compartment where the cripple who had once been Caine lay, dumb with misery
like a wounded dog, the Caineslayer had sat across from him and asked,
"How, then, should I call you?"
The
cot on which the cripple lay was bolted to the compartment's wall, to the
splintered woodwork where seats had been ripped out to make room for it. The
cripple was strapped to the cot with leather bands across his knees, hips, and
chest, to keep him in his place against the jolting sway of the train. The
compartment stank of human waste; the Caineslayer could not tell if perhaps the
cripple had fouled himself, or if this stench was only a reminder of the
dunking he'd taken in the polluted headwaters of the Great Chambaygen, where it
drained away the sewage from the construction camp on the crest of Khryl's
Saddle.
The
cripple was covered with a filthy blanket, half sodden already with seepage
from the oozing burns that splotched his body like patches sewn onto tattered
clothing. He did not turn his head or make any indication that he had heard the
Caineslayer's question; he stared out the grime-streaked window at the billows
of coal smoke that rolled backward from the locomotive, smoke that had
stained the leaves of trees that lined the winding railway a uniform necrotic
grey.
The
Caineslayer settled himself onto the surprisingly comfortable cushion of the
opposite bench. For a long, wonderful moment he merely sat, staring, savoring
the sight, breathing the smell, letting the cripple's aura of rank despair
settle into his bones like the warmth of his home hearth on a winter's night.
But there was something missing, something the Caineslayer still needed. He
could see a blind lack in the cripple's hollow gaze.
In the
face of his pain, the cripple had sunk into some inner circle of animal
incomprehension; he had found a state of dreamlike semiconsciousness where his
suffering seemed removed, distant, the anguish of a fictional victim in some
old half familiar story. But the Caineslayer had armed himself against even
this pathetic defense. He had been forewarned.
The
Caineslayer had a device.
The
Caine Mirror, he called it privately; a box shaped roughly like a medium-sized
valise, filled with tangles of fine cabling and a bank of transparent glass
bulbs, powered by a chip of griffinstone smaller than the nail of the
Caineslayer's little finger. On its front were a pair of handgrips covered with
thin-beaten gold; between the handgrips was a mirror of silvered glass. To hold
those handgrips, to direct his disciplined mind into that silvered glass, was
to enter an intimacy so extreme that it transcended obscenity: as though he'd
gouged out the man's eye and fucked his bloody socket.
It
let him inside the man who had been Caine.
The
Caineslayer leaned forward and dug his fingers into the blanket that covered
the scorched flesh of the cripple's ribs, grabbed, and twisted. "Perhaps
you didn't hear me. How should I call you?"
The
cripple's response was to roll his head to one side. His face was as empty as
his heart.
"Should
I call you Hari?" the Caineslayer asked pleasantly. "Viceroy
Garrette called you Administrator"—he pronounced the foreign words
with careful precision—"Michaelson. Is that what you'd prefer?"
Consciousness
swam up to the surface of the man's eyes, and with consciousness came
suffering; he stared at the Caineslayer through a haze of pain, and the
Caineslayer smiled. "It wouldn't seem right, to call you Caine," he
said. "Caine is dead, you told me—and I know this to be true. I killed
him."
Those
suffering eyes drifted away, back toward the windows, and the cripple spoke in
a half whisper still ragged with residual screams. "Whatever."
"Ex-Caine?
Perhaps—" The Caineslayer's smile widened into a grimace of happy malice.
"—Tan'Caine?"
"It
doesn't matter."
"You
think not? I say it does. Perhaps I shall use Hari, after all. That is
how Pallas Ril calls you, isn't it? Mmm, your pardon, Hari: I meant to say, called
you."
A
brief, almost invisible twist flickered over the cripple's features; if the
Caineslayer hadn't known better, he might have fooled himself into believing it
the trace of a smile. "You're wasting your time," the man he had
decided to call Hari said. "I don't know why you think you can hurt
me more than I've hurt myself."
"There
are many things you don't know," the Caineslayer observed. Hari shrugged
and turned once more toward the window.
"Aren't
you curious?" The Caineslayer leaned forward to give Hari a theatrically
sly sidelong look. "Don't you want to know who I am? Why I have
destroyed you?"
"Don't
flatter yourself, kid."
The
Caineslayer frowned. "You don't care? You don't care why this has
happened?"
Hari
drew a deep sigh and rolled his head back to meet the younger man's eyes.
"You don't know why it happened," he said. "All you know is why
you did what you did."
The
Caineslayer's frown deepened into a scowl; he had not come this far to be
lectured like a boy at the abbey school.
"And
second? Yeah." Hari shrugged. "I don't care."
The
Caineslayer's hands twisted into fists. "How can you not care?"
"Why
is bullshit," Hari said
exhaustedly. "Why won't bring back my wife. Why won't save
my father, or return my child, or let me walk again. Fuck why. Reasons are for
peasants."
"Perhaps,"
the Caineslayer said through his teeth., He slid sideways to place himself
beside the window out which Hari stared. The trees had closed around the tracks
until the train seemed to be rocking through a tunnel of smoke-poisoned leaves.
"Perhaps I am a peasant. Then it is a peasant who has brought you
low."
"Yeah,
whatever."
"I
was born to Marte, wife of Terrel the blacksmith. They named me Perrik,"
he began, speaking with the slow, deliberate cadence of an elKothan priest
reciting the daily liturgy.
"You're
wasting your time," Hari repeated. "I don't want to know."
The
Caineslayer's fist struck like his father's hammer, a long powerful arc of
force that exploded against Hari's face, smashing his nose into a splatter of
blood and tissue. Hari grunted and his eyes went glassy for a moment. When
their focus returned, he expressionlessly licked blood from his mouth and
watched the Caineslayer, silently waiting for what he would do next.
The
Caineslayer's fist ached with the fierce need to hit him again and again and
again; he burned to kill this man, to beat the life from him flesh to flesh and
bone to bone—but killing would not answer his need. "This isn't about what
you want. Nothing is about what you want, not ever again. This is about me.
About what I want"
He
clutched his fist with his other hand, trying to massage the bloodlust out of
it. "Think of this as a reverse interrogation. There are some things I
want you to know. I'm going to tell you. If, at any time, I think you're not
listening, I will hurt you. Do you understand?"
Hari's
response was a blood-smeared stare, blank as an empty plate.
The
Caineslayer once again dug his fingers into a twist of the filthy blanket and
scraped the rough fabric of Hari's tunic against the moist scabs of his burns.
"I know you've been tortured before, Hari. The, mmm, Black Knife Clan of
the Boedecken ogrilloi, wasn't it? And I am not insensible to the fact that
only last night you tried to force my men to kill you. I suspect that pain
means as little to you as your life—but both your life and your pain are very
important to me."
He
settled into himself and took a deep, slow, patient breath. "Five days
from now, we arrive in Ankhana; once there, you will be delivered up unto the
civil authorities for execution. In the meantime, I want you to hurt—and I want
you to listen."
Outside,
the trees had fallen away, revealing rugged hills of gorse and bracken rolling
toward a blue-misted reach: the unforgiving Kaarnan Wilderlands. Inside, the
Caineslayer had begun again.
"I
was born to Marte, wife of Terrel the blacksmith. They named me Perrik, and for
much of my childhood, I expected to be ordinary—and happy, very much like they
themselves seemed to be. My mother was from Kor, and she was older than my
father; she had secrets that neither of us understood, but we always knew she
loved us ..."
3
For
days—through the whole trip out of the God's Teeth, through the layover in
Harrakha while the barge was prepared, on the first days of the maddeningly
slow journey down the lazy curves of the Great Chambaygen to Ankhana—the
Caineslayer had told the tale of his parents. He rarely spoke of himself at
all; instead, he told every incident he could remember of his father and his
mother, sparing nothing: from the first belt Terrel had laid across his legs to
the honeycakes Marte would bake as the summers faded into autumn rains, from
the time Baron Thilliow of Oklian had had Terrel whipped for cutting the frog
of his favorite mare's hoof, to the season of savage rows his parents inflicted
upon each other when he was ten: when he first learned that Marte had been
pregnant when Terrel married her—and pregnant by another man.
Good
and bad, dramatic and trivial, he told every faintest detail; he wanted to
bring his parents to life for Hari, even as they lived in his own heart.
Strangely,
Hari seemed to somehow divine the Caineslayer's purpose; he never enquired why
the Caineslayer wanted him to know all this. Only occasionally did he speak
through his haze of inner pain; sometimes to offer a comment, or to ask for a
clarification of some obscure detail—sometimes a mere grunt of understanding.
Late
one afternoon, as the barge drifted through a slow curve that divided low,
rolling hills of grassland, Hari said, "I'm guessing, from all this, that
I'm never gonna get a chance to meet your folks, huh?"
The
Caineslayer met his gaze squarely, and his voice was dry as the desert stone of
his mother's homeland. "Both my parents were in Victory Stadium at the
Assumption of Ma'elKoth."
"No
shit? Died there, huh?"
"Yes."
"How
about that." His eyes fixed on some misted reach, miles away and years
ago. "Y'know, I can remember thinking, while I was getting ready to go out
on the sand—I was hiding in a vent from the gladiator pen, and the wagon with
Ma'elKtoh and Toa-Sytell and ... and everybody .. . was just rolling through
the gate—I was thinking, that if somebody I loved had died because someone did
what I was about to do, I wouldn't rest until I hunted the bastard down and
killed him with my bare hands."
"How
about that," the Caineslayer echoed expressionlessly.
"So
where were you?"
The
Caineslayer stared a question at him.
"You
weren't there," Hari said. "You weren't at the stadium."
"How do you know this?"
"I
know you can fight. If you'd been there, either your parents would be alive, or
you'd be dead."
"I
was—" The Caineslayer was forced to take a pause, to swallow his old,
familiar pain. "—otherwise engaged."
Hari
turned his palms toward the canvas tenting overhead. "You're an elKothan,
right? A Beloved Child of Ma'elKoth?" "I am"
"Yeah."
For a moment, another of those flickering, bitter almost-smiles passed over his
features. "Me, too."
The
Caineslayer frowned. "You?"
"Yeah.
I went through the very last Ritual of Rebirth before the Assumption. Baptism
of blood and fire—signed, sealed, and sanctified, that's me."
"I
don't believe it"
"Ma'elKoth
did." He shrugged and waved this digression aside. "He summoned his
Beloved Children to the stadium that day. How come you weren't there?"
"I—"
The Caineslayer had to look away; the pain this memory brought was astonishing,
a savage stabbing ache undiminished by the passage of seven years, unassuaged
by his sure knowledge that his pain and loss had been the knife that carved his
destiny. He could not have changed events then any more than he could reach
back through seven long years and change them now.
But
the pain
He
had one defense against this pain: he reminded himself that this pain belonged
to Raithe of Ankhana. I am the Caineslayer, he told himself. That
pain is a revenant of someone else's life.
"I
was in the scriptorium of the Ankhanan Embassy," he said, "copying my
report on your murder of Ambassador Creele."
Hari
made a grunting noise that could have been a snort of incredulous laughter;
after all these days, recognition finally flared within his shadowed eyes.
"I remember you ..." he said wonderingly. "You were one of the
kids who frog-marched me up to his office. You had some silly-ass melodramatic
shit to say about the Monasteries coming after me; something like that. Yeah,
that was you—I remember the eyes."
"I
would have hunted you for Creele's sake alone," the Caineslayer said
softly. "He was a great man."
"He
was an asshole. He deserved what he got."
"And
I?" the Caineslayer asked. "What did I deserve?"
Hari
rolled over far enough to turn his face to the canvas wall of the deck shelter.
"Don't come crying to me, kid. You got more out of life than most ever do:
when the world hurt you, you got the chance to hit back. Count yourself lucky,
and shut up."
"That's
it? That's all you have to say?" The Caineslayer found his hands had
become convulsive fists once more. "That I'm lucky?"
"What
do you want from me? An apology?" Hari twisted back to look at him, black rings
of bruise around his eyes, his nose still swollen from the blow that had
smashed it three days before. "Or forgiveness?"
The
Caineslayer's fists trembled, and he could not take his eyes from the bulge of
the thyroid cartilage in Hari's throat; he could feel an arc of energy from the
hammer edge of his hand to that still target, as though Hari's larynx and the
Caineslayer's fist were two pieces of the same lodestone.
Slowly,
the Caineslayer forced his fists to open, and he choked back his taste for blood.
"So," he murmured. "So."
He
rose and folded his hands behind his back, pacing the floor of Hari's deck
shelter as though even walking was a wound he could give this man—and perhaps
it was. Perhaps the best pain he could offer was the reminder of everything
this man would never do again. "So," he said again, "finally,
you understand what you have done to me. Now, I wish to understand what I have
done to you."
He
made himself smile, and he turned that smile upon Hari like a weapon.
"Talk to me now. Tell me of Pallas Ril."
4
Of
course he had refused, at first; for hours he refused, while the Caineslayer
amused himself with a cheerful alternation of questioning and mild torture. On
that day, the Caineslayer had addressed his attention to the nerve cluster in
the pad between the thumb and forefinger; even a moderate pinch on it could
bring tears to the eyes of a strong man without causing any lasting damage, and
the Caineslayer had a grip like his father's furnace tongs. He kept Hari
strapped to his cot—he had seen the lethal skill that still inhabited those
hands graphically demonstrated upon the late Artan Viceroy. He sat beside him,
holding one of Hari's hands in both of his, like a dutiful son. Sometimes he
would alternate this with pressure on the radial nerve just above the elbow.
One
of the charming features of these excruciation is that—with proper timing and
intervals of rest—these particular pressure points become more sensitive as
they are abused, rather than less. After an hour or two, the subject feels his
whole arm burning from within, as though his blood had turned to acid.
In
the end Hari had submitted, as the Caineslayer had known he would. The
questions themselves—How did you meet? Where was your first kiss? What did
she wear on your wedding day? What was the scent of her hair? would
bring the anguish of memory fully to the forefront of Hari's consciousness. It
was clear that to speak of these things hurt Hari more than keeping silent
could have—yet once he had begun, he seemed disinclined to stop. Nonetheless he
did stop from time to time, requiring the Caineslayer to encourage him again
with nerve pressure, as though he wanted the pain, as though he welcomed it,
as though he required both the pain of speaking and the pain of keeping silent;
as though to hide from any scrap of his suffering would be a betrayal, a crime,
a sin.
The
Caineslayer accepted Hari's shattered heart as a sacrament. He had never been
so happy.
He
kept the Caine Mirror alongside Hari's bed; he could dip into Hari's head at will—immerse
himself in Hari's torment. This he did only at intervals; the Caineslayer felt
keenly the danger of swimming those deeps. They tugged at him awake and called
to him in dreams, whispering of sinking forever from the memory of light.
Hari
spoke through two days, and the Caineslayer listened—prompting occasionally
with questions, and more rarely with physical coercion. He heard of many
faraway and unlikely places, from the depths of the Boedecken Waste to the
gleaming brass streets of Lipke's capital Seven Wells, from the jungle kingdom
of Yalitrayya to the ice fields of the White Desert. Later, they spoke
of places even more exotic and unimaginably distant: places such as Chicago and
San Francisco—and alien names such as Shermaya Dole and Marc
Vilo and Shanna Leighton and Arturo Kollberg.
We
have a very simple, straightforward relationship, the Caineslayer reflected from time to time. He and
Hari shared a single need: the need to experience Hari's pain.
That
simplicity created a sort of understanding, almost a bond: they cooperated to
give each other what each wanted. All the caustic hatred that had corroded his
veins for seven years was slowly and surely drained away; his victory had
lanced a boil on his soul. Caine was no longer the icon of evil, the Enemy of
God, the author of all the world's ills. He had become simply what he was: a
ruthless, amoral man, now beaten—crushed by the world, just like any other.
Only
human, after all.
And
Hari, too, seemed to take some relief; profoundly attuned to his prisoner's
moods, the Caineslayer could not help but notice that the needle point of
Hari's pain seemed to be slowly blunting. Late on the final night of the
journey, the barge lay up along the bank, anchor chains attached to trees
that grew beside the Chambaygen's lazy channel, only a few hours upstream from
Ankhana. All was quiet as the crew slept—even the two poleboys on watch drowsed
atop the deckhouse—and Hari seemed almost at peace.
The
Caineslayer squatted beside him. "You are calm, now."
Hari's
sole response was to work the back of his head on his pillow and chafe his
wrists against the straps that bound him to his cot.
"You
have been calming ever since we began on the river," the Caineslayer said.
"Did you love your wife so little that you no longer suffer her
loss?"
"Well,
y'know ..." Hari murmured. "It's the river. It's her river." The
Caineslayer said, "Not anymore."
"Are
you sure? We drift downstream, and how much has really changed? The leaves still
turn, the birds still fly. Fish jump. The river goes on." Hari closed his
eyes and gave a sleepy sigh. "Shanna used to tell me that life is a river;
a person is like a little eddy that spins in a backflow for a little
while, until it uncoils and the river washes it away. Nothing is lost. Maybe a
little farther downstream, another eddy spins up, and nothing is gained. Life
is just life, like the river is just a river. Other times, she'd say that the
river is a song, and a person or a bird or a tree or whatever—an individual—is
really just a scatter of notes, a little subtheme, like what they call a motif.
That motif might play loud or soft, might be part of the song for a long time
or just a little, but in the end, it's all still one song."
"So
which is it?" the Caineslayer asked softly. "A song, or a
river?"
Hari
shrugged. "How the fuck should I know? I'm not sure she really meant
either one. She was a goddess, not a philosopher. But she knew a little bit
about life and death. She was never afraid to die; she knew that dying was part
of the whole cycle—that her little eddy would untangle itself back into
the current of the river."
The
Caineslayer nodded his understanding. "So: you can bear your loss, because
you feel that you haven't really lost her."
"It's
her river, kid."
"As
I have observed already," the Caineslayer said, "not anymore."
Hari's eyes slitted open; he watched the Caineslayer without turning his head.
"You
must have noticed the silver runes painted on the Sword of Saint Berne,"
the Caineslayer went on. "What do you think they were for?"
Hari
didn't answer, didn't move, only watched: a predator become aware of being
stalked by something larger and more fierce.
"I
confess that I do not know the actual use of these runes,"
the Caineslayer continued. "It did not seem important enough that I
should ask. But consider: If the Viceroy wished merely to destroy her body,
would not the bare blade have been sufficient?"
Hari's
eyes glittered.
"So:
as you go to your death at the hands of your enemies, do not console yourself
with vain dreams of Pallas Ril in some misty afterlife where she might be
happy, or at least content. The best she might have experienced is an absolute
extinction of consciousness. More likely, she screams even now in some unimaginable
hell, and will continue to do so. Forever."
They
passed a long interval in which the
only sound was the soft plash of the river against the barge's hull, and the
only motion the gentle rocking of the deck.
"You,"
Hari said finally, hoarse and slow, "have a gift for hating."
The
Caineslayer inclined his head in a grave sketch of a bow. "If so, it is a
gift I received from you."
For
a moment, he found himself wanting to reach out and grasp Hari's shoulder—to
touch him in some way that was not intended to cause pain. In many ways, he was
closer to this man than he'd been to the mediocrities with whom he's studied at
the abbey school, and to the spineless Exoterics who had staffed the Thorncleft
Embassy. He and Hari were joined in ways forever inaccessible, forever
incomprehensible, to those grey souls.
He
rose and turned away.
"You
know," he said distantly, staring out the flap of the shelter at a spray
of brilliant stars, "under other circumstances, I shouldn't have been too
surprised to find that we had become friends."
"Kid,
we are friends," Hari told him with a bitter laugh. "You mean
you haven't noticed?"
The
Caineslayer met his dark glare across the still, pale flame of the lamp between
them and thought for a moment of all they had shared in these past five
days. "No, I hadn't," he said slowly, frowning and nodding together.
"But I suppose you're right."
"Fucking
right I'm right. Not that it'll stop me from killing you if I ever get the
chance."
"Mmm,
of course not," the Caineslayer replied, "any more than it shall stop
me from giving you to the Imperial authorities for execution." "Yeah.
Tomorrow morning, right?"
The
Caineslayer felt a surprising pang of melancholy as he nodded. "Yes.
Tomorrow."
"You
sound like you're not looking forward to it."
"Truly,
I'm not," he said. "But I am ready for it. You are part of my former
life, Hari. I am ready to move on."
"Yeah,
whatever. You ready to move to your goddamn bed?"
Another
glance at the stars—and at the scant oil remaining in the lamp—reminded him how
late the hour had become. "I suppose I am."
"Then
shut up and go to sleep."
The
Caineslayer smiled almost fondly. "Good night, Hari"
"Fuck
off."
5
Early
the next morning, as the barge had swung sluggishly out into the Great
Chambaygen's current with the first sparkling rays of the rising sun, the
Caineslayer had carried a trencher of thick lentil porridge flavored with salt
pork into Hari's deck shelter, set it beside his cot, and unstrapped one of
Hari's arms so that he could feed himself with the large wooden spoon. Hari
took a listless bite or two, then set down the spoon.
"You
should eat it," the Caineslayer said. "It's better than you'll get in
the Donjon."
"Yeah,
whatever. How about the bedpan?"
The
Caineslayer shoved the bedpan within Hari's reach, waited patiently while he
relieved himself, then carried the pan out and dumped its contents into the
river. When he came back, Hari still wasn't eating; he lay on the cot, staring
expressionlessly at the canvas overhead. "What's it gonna be today, then?"
he said. "You gonna start on my hand again?"
"No,"
the Caineslayer said. Slowly, he lowered himself into the Warrior's Seat, his
legs doubled comfortably beneath him. He rested his hands on his thighs, left
cupping his right with thumbs touching: the Quiet Circle meditation posture.
"This
is our last time together, Hari; in perhaps two hours I will de-liver you to
the Household Knights who await us on the Ankhanan docks, and then I shall
never see you again—mm, no. I mean to say I'll never speak with you
again, since I do intend to witness your execution."
"Huh.
Don't get all sentimental; you'll make me blush."
The
Caineslayer gave his victim a level stare. "I have only one question for
you today. I don't even insist on an answer."
Hari
eyed him uncertainly; this change in their routine had awakened his animal
wariness. "Yeah, all right."
"Was
it worth it?"
Hari
scowled. "Was what worth what? Is this some of that If I had my life to
do over again horseshit?"
"Not
exactly. I'm not interested in your life, Hari, but in the effect you've had on
mine. I want to know: Saving Pallas Ril in Victory Stadium seven years ago—was
it worth what you've suffered since?"
"Of
course it was," he responded with instant certainty. "I'd do it again
in half a fucking second."
"Would
you? Would you really? With all you've told me: the destruction of your career,
the loss of your legs, of your father, of your home, your daughter ... and your
life. Are you sure?"
"I
... I mean, I, uh ..." His voice faltered, and he turned his face away.
"You
weren't even happy together, you and she," the Caineslayer said. "You
told me so yourself And so: Your sole accomplishment was to postpone her death
for seven years. If you had known, then, how that single act would
inexorably destroy you, would you have done it?"
Hari's
free hand covered his eyes, and he did not respond.
"You
need not answer. I merely want you to consider the question."
"Faith," Hari murmured.
"Ah,
yes, your daughter," the Caineslayer said. "And have you done her
such a kindness, bringing her into your world? Sometimes, in these nights, you
cry out in your sleep, do you know that? Do you know that what you say is Faith,
I'm sorry?"
Something
faded then from the man who had been Caine: some spark of the flame that had made
him loom so large dwindled and winked out. For the first time, he looked old,
and tired, and truly, undeniably, finally: crippled.
After
a long, long moment spent savoring this extinction, the Caineslayer rose and
moved to leave the tent, but Hari turned toward him once again, his face bleak
as winter stone.
"I
guess I could ask you the same question."
6
The
Caineslayer stopped; he looked back past his shoulder. "What do you
mean?"
"Ever
think about what destroying me is gonna cost you?"
"Hari,
Hari," the Caineslayer chided, "have we not passed the time when you
can expect me to take your threats seriously?"
"It's
not a threat, kid. Sure, let's say I took your parents from you. You took my
wife from me, and you're gonna watch me die. Whatever," he said with
a one-armed shrug. "Fair enough. I don't really give a shit; I'm dead
already. But how will you live with what you've done?"
"What
I have done?" The Caineslayer snorted. "I have saved the world from
the Enemy of God."
"Kid,
kid." Hari echoed precisely the Caineslayer's chiding tone. "You
didn't save shit. When you and Garrette managed to kill Shanna, you wiped out
the Ankhanan Empire. And the Monasteries, and Lipke and Kor and Paqula, too.
Pretty much everyone on this continent will be dead by this time next
year."
"That's
ridiculous."
"Sure
it is. What do you think Pallas was doing here, you fucking idiot?"
A
spectral shiver trickled down the Caineslayer's spine, a frictive half-hot frisson
like the whisk of fingertips across unvarnished wood. "You're talking
about Viceroy Garrette's disease—the one he gave to the subs."
"You
knew?"
The
Caineslayer met Hari's blankly astonished gaze and thought, Well. At last I
have succeeded in impressing him. He wished he could take more pleasure in
it; wished he could coolly reply I know many things, like a wizard in a
campfire tale.
Instead,
his stomach dropping, he could say only, "Yes."
"Damn,
kid." Han shook his head, squinting disbelievingly. "Damn, I thought
I was hard-core. So this all started with Garrette, huh?"
The
Caineslayer shook his head. "It all started with you. With Creele."
"What did Garrette tell you?"
"He
... said it's called aitcharv ... aitcharvee ..."
"HRVP,"
Hari supplied. "That's right. How much did of Vinse tell you about
it?"
The
Caineslayer suddenly found the air to have thickened under this canvas
tent—thick as water, thick as stew; he could barely force it into his lungs.
"Enough," he replied thinly.
"And
you still went through with it"
"I
don't understand."
"Garrette
was dead. You had me. Why did Pallas have to die?"
The
Caineslayer allowed himself a thin, chill smile. "Reasons are for
peasants."
But
Hari's gaze stayed level and steady until the Caineslayer had to look away.
"I could say it was because I thought she might rescue you from me,"
he said. "I could say it was because I had made a bargain in the name of
the Monasteries, and that bargain must be kept. But neither would be true. The
truth is simpler, and more complex: She was killed because you loved her, and I
wanted to watch you watch her die."
Hari
nodded at this, frowning, as though he understood and could respect such a
desire, but then he squinted upward once more. "You ever wonder why Garrette
wanted her dead?"
"He
said—he said she would have protected the elves from the disease."
"Not
just the elves."
That
spectral shiver near his spine threatened to become trembling. "The
Viceroy assured me that humans aren't in any danger—"
"Humans.
Yeah." An echo of Caine's wolf-grin stretched Hari's lips. "You just
gotta remember that for Garrette, human meant Artan."
A
sick understanding gathered itself in the Caineslayer's belly.
"Here's
a question. Garrette had you inoculated, didn't he? Probably shot up most of the
people in Transdeia: they take this black thing and press it against your
shoulder and pull a trigger and it makes a sound like fssst. You get
that?"
"Yes
. . . yes, I did. And the embassy staff, and a lot of the miners and rail
porters ..."
"You're
today's lucky winner, kid. First prize: a front row seat for the end of the
world."
"He
said—he said it was just a precaution—"
"And
just because this stuff came from this world—my world—and he's got all this
fancy technology and shit, you thought he knew what the fuck he was talking
about."
"I—"
The Caineslayer shut his eyes. "Yes."
"That's
the problem with you shitheads who think you're educated," Hari
said with brutal mockery. "You always think that if somebody talks the
same way you do, he's not a moron. But he was a moron, and so are you
for thinking he wasn't."
The
Caineslayer found he could not answer.
"It's
loose in Ankhana," Hari said. "That's why Pallas came here. People
are sick with it. Human people. Dying already. Killing each other. Locking
themselves away with their fevers, because they're already so crazy that they
figure everybody's out to kill them. Shanna, Pallas, she was the only hope
the people of this continent—probably the whole world had. You killed
her. Congratulations. You get to watch everybody die."
The
Caineslayer reached blindly to his side and gathered a handful of the tent's
canvas wall to steady himself "Watch ..." he murmured.
"Sure.
That's what that little black fissy thing did for you. You won't get sick. You're
immune, just like me. Lucky you, huh?"
"You're
lying," the Caineslayer muttered. He liked the sound of that, so he said
it again, more strongly: "You're lying. You're making this up."
Of course
he was lying—was this not the man who had been Caine? The Caineslayer had
been hurting him for days, and this was the only way a crippled man could
devise to hit back at his tormentor: a silly, vicious lie.
"Yeah,
all right, sure. I'm lying," Hari said, maintaining his bleak predator's
grin. "You're the one with the mind powers—use them, you stupid sack of
shit."
"I
don't have to," the Caineslayer said firmly. "It's an obvious lie;
why would the Aktir Queen turn one hair to help the people of Ankhana?"
"Maybe
because she wasn't the goddamn Aktir Queen. Maybe because the Church has
been lying about her all these years. Maybe because she cared about
every living thing, even useless pinheaded weaseldicks like you."
Hari
looked him over then: a long, slow scan from head to toe and back again, as
though measuring his every quality, tangible or not. Then he said, "You
took an oath when they made you a friar. You took an oath to support and defend
the Future of Humanity with every breath of your body from that day forward.
And this is how you kept it. You killed them. All of them. Because you wanted
to hurt me, you wiped out the fucking human race."
The
Caineslayer gripped the canvas with both hands; his stomach heaved, and bile
scorched the back of his throat. "You swore that oath, too," he
insisted desperately. "And look at all the uncountable lives you have
taken, all the suffering you have caused—!"
"Yeah,
well, you said it yourself," Hari replied with a shrug. "I'm the
Enemy of God."
7
On
the dockside below the Caineslayer's position, the military band struck up
"King of Kings" while marching in place, and the first martial
strains of the Imperial anthem brought him back to the present. At the refrain
following the first verse, the band's diverse elements swung into order like
gears interlocking, and sunlight flared golden spikes from polished brass in
time with the anthem's ponderous beat. The Household Knights marched themselves
into order around the wagon, expressionless as dolls under the gold-filigreed
steel of their helmets; their blood-colored halberds swung in identical arcs
like the moment arms of fifty perfectly synchronized metronomes. The
Exoterics who had borne the cripple's litter took the lead ropes of the horses
that drew the wagon and walked alongside.
The
man who had been Caine sagged from the harness that bound him to the
platform's rack, swinging gently with the wagon's sway, his head down as though
unconscious. The band segued smoothly from "King of Kings" into
"Justice of God."
The
Caineslayer straightened; slowly, thoughtfully, he pulled a splinter of the
deckhouse rail out of the flesh of his palm and frowned down at the bead of
blood that welled from this tiny wound. How had he been so easily beaten?
He
no longer doubted that Hari had told him the truth. Whatever had happened in
Allentown was only a prelude. This city was sick, festering with madness. He
could feel it, smell it on the air. He could close his eyes and see it:
see sweat on pale and clammy brows, see eyes parboiled by fever casting hooded
glances while trembling hands sharpened carving knives, see the flecks of foam
at the corners of dry, cracking lips. He did not need his powers to show him
these things. He knew they were there. He knew, because a lie would have been
too easy. Too cheap.
And
he knew, from long years of study, that Caine's victories are never cheap; they
always cost, in the end, more than God Himself can afford.
Awe
stole over him, a tingling sense of the uncanny, when he numbered the days and
nights of their journey down from the mountains. Hari had known this all along.
With a single phrase, the man who had been Caine had spiked the Caineslayer's
triumph through the heart and burned its corpse to toxic ash. All that time,
through all that pain, he'd hugged it to himself, waiting. Waiting until its
stroke would kill.
His
destiny had betrayed him, had made him a destroyer on a scale that humbled even
Caine. Destiny, he understood with bitter certainty, could not be trusted.
He
had no idea what he should do now. Without destiny to guide him, he was lost in
a vast, whistling darkness. Any direction he might choose was purely arbitrary;
it would make no more sense, offer no more hope, than would sitting still.
Which offered neither sense nor hope at all.
He
swung himself over the rail and dropped, catlike, to the barge's deck. He had a
need that burned in him like breath to a drowning man. For this need, there was
only one answer, and that answer was within the crude deck shelter that had
served Hari as a cabin.
He
slipped inside. His possessions were enclosed in three packages: one, the trunk
that held his clothes; two, the case that held the Sword of Saint Berne,
brought from the mountains to the safety of the Ankhanan Embassy; and three,
the valise-sized device with two handgrips covered in beaten gold, with the
silvered glass mirror between. It was these handgrips that the Caineslayer
now took, and this mirror into which his ice-pale eyes gazed.
This
is the last, he told
himself—promised himself, like a drunkard lifting yet another glass of whiskey
to admire its amber glow in the sunlight. One last time.
And
he moaned like a lover in passion, low in the back of his throat, as he entered
the man who had been Caine.
8
I
think it's the roar of the crowd that brings me up from the pit. People everywhere,
all around me, staring, shouting, cheering, pointing. There's a band in the
neighborhood somewhere ... There they are, marching up ahead while they play
some fucking awful piece of crap that sounds like a Max Reger dirge transcribed
by John Philip Sousa.
Chained—they've
got me chained as though there were actually some chance I could get away,
wrists manacled to my waist, a kind of gallows vest pegged to the block in
front of me with about two feet of links thicker than my finger, chains hooked to
straps at my shoulders that hold me up to some kind of scrap-wood rack so that
everybody can get a goddamn good look.
People
hang out of windows, waving, throwing stuff—a wad of something wet hits my
right arm and splashes across my chest, and the thick retchy stench of it
brings a word up out of my raddled memory: tumbrel. That's what they
used to call the cart, the kind I'm riding in this nightmare parade, a tumbrel.
French for shit wagon. They've chained me to the shit wagon.
Nice
day for a parade. The sun always looks bigger, yellower, hotter here, the
rolling cottonball clouds cleaner and more solid as they tumble through a sky
so deep and blue it makes you want to cry Hot for this time of year, Los
Angeles hot in autumn, Ankhana is usually more like London.
Fog
and rain, that's what I'd wish for—something to drive the crowds indoors,
something that really says England. That's what I'd wish for, if I had
any wishes left. Instead, I've got Hollywood.
I
guess, in a sick way, it's appropriate.
I
remember from the old movies that you're supposed to stand upright in the
tumbrel; it's traditional. Just one more fucking thing that I can't get right. Tale
of Two Cities . . . Scaramouche ... The Scarlet Pimpernel with Leslie
Howard ... That was Shanna's favorite
Shanna
Oh,
Christ—
The
weight of it threatens to snap what's left of my spine, and the light of day
recedes from me as I spiral back down into the pit.
The
pit is a warm and friendly darkness; this is where I have lived, most days
since Transdeia, whenever that suede-faced motherfucker Raithe left me alone.
What I have for company in the pit are comradely fantasies of having my head
blown off by one of those assault rifles that some of Raithe's friars now carry
slung-beneath their robes, so they resemble mere concealed swords. I can feel
it exactly as it would happen, but in two-hundred-frames-a-second slowmo: the
initial entry of the slug as it parts my scalp and punches through my skull,
goes tumbling and slivering through my brain, trailing a wake of oblivion
before a fist-sized splintered hole erupts on the far side.
I
can dream of this, and be happy.
The
head shot is only one of several friends of mine; sometimes I can cheer myself
with the slice of a short blade into my heart, and darkness scaling my carotid
artery like blood billowing through seawater; sometimes the billow of blood is
literal, as I watch it pulse from opened wrists. ' Wrists, hell—I've carved
enough meat in my day that I could do better, if anyone gives me a chance. I'd
only need about an inch of blade to open my femoral artery; that would drop me
into my Edenic oblivion almost as fast as one to my heart. It'd be easy. No
hesitation cuts: my legs are already dead. Wouldn't even sting.
I
don't need the pain. I'm not out to punish myself. Only the oblivion counts.
Everything
else is just foreplay.
I'd
really kind of like to rest here, drift off in some kind of half nap to close
out the ugly truth of myself, but the crowd won't let me. They're chanting a
name over and over in the kind of nasty, mockingly petty singsong that reminds
me how much people in general are pretty shitty creatures. When I was maybe ten
years old, I tried to kill a kid who was singsonging me like that—the only
difference was that he knew my name.
These
idiots keep calling me Caine.
I'd
ignore them, but they insist on getting my attention with the pieces of fruit,
and the eggs, with clods of horseshit and the occasional rock that hit me from
time to time. Every once in a while, somebody throws a handful of gravel; some
of that sticks to the mingled yolk and peach meat and drippy shit, and some of
it works its way in under my collar and trickles down my chest and back and
ribs and scrapes into the open sores of my burns. The parade passes a little
too close to some buildings, and kids in the windows have a contest to see who
can spit the biggest hawker into my hair.
You
can't rest down in the dark with crap hitting you all the time and the damn
band blaring and the sunlight sparking off everybody's iridescent braid and
brass horns and halberds polished into scarlet steel mirrors. And the worst
thing—the really, deeply, fundamentally loathsome vileness that makes me
despise myself beyond any masochistic fantasy of self-hatred—is that I can't
stop Acting.
I'm
still doing it: still watching, still commenting, still describing what I feel.
Even down in the pit, swimming toward the darkness that is my sole desire, I
have to tell myself what I'm doing.
I'm
telling myself
Seven
years ago, when I was last here in Ankhana, as I lay dying on the damp arena
sand of Victory Stadium, I thought I understood. I thought I knew who my real
enemy was: my audience.
But
I'm still performing .. .
Now
my only audience is me.
Oh,
god, god, what an ugly, ugly creature I am.
Because
this is what I did it for. This, right here. What's happening right now. The
parade.
This
is why Shanna is dead. This is why
Faith is gone forever. This is what has killed Dad, and has stolen every joy
I'd ever dreamed to have. And so: Here I am.
The
center of attention. The Main Event.
The
band plays, the sun shines, the people of Ankhana cheer, and no hell could burn
like this.
All
this, so that I could be a star.
9
The
Caineslayer pulled himself free of the Caine Mirror with a shuddering gasp, and
mopped sweat from his mouth with the back of a trembling hand. I should
heave this damned thing into the river, he thought. He quieted his
shivering and forced his breathing into a regular pattern, but still the
weakness in his limbs made him stagger as he stepped back.
Instead
of tossing the Caine Mirror into the river where it belonged, the Caineslayer
found himself reluctantly offering a silver noble to an ogre who had served as
a poleboy on the barge to bear it—and the trunk containing his Ambassadorial
robes—to the embassy.
The
case containing Kosall he would carry with his own hand. This case was narrow
and flat, half again as long as one of his arms, built of light springy slats
of wood covered with leather, bound with brass nails.
He
held the case cradled like a child, frowning.
Within
this case was the most holy relic of the Imperial Church, lost for seven years;
a weapon of power that Saint Berne had used not only for the blow that struck
down the Prince of Chaos, but now to slay the Aktir Queen. He found it
wholly curious: Though he knew full well that Caine had been only a man, that
Berne had been a rapist and murderer—and lately only a corpse driven by a
demon—and that Ma'elKoth himself was no more than a political prisoner in the Aktiri
lands, carrying this weapon still raised a pious chill along his spine.
Though
he now knew the truth behind the faith he'd practiced these many years, the
faith remained. Somehow, he was able to see Caine as both an ordinary man and
as the Enemy of God at the same time, without contradiction. Within this case
was a blade that was only a weapon, but also a mythic symbol of the power of a
god—who was only a man, but no less a god.
Curious,
indeed.
As
a symbol, this sword was too potent for him; he had planned—he still planned—to
lock it within the embassy's Secure Vault; he'd allow the Council of Brothers
to decide its final disposition. But he could not simply sling it over his
shoulder and walk, not now; he had borne it down this river, he had kept it
safe, he had never even opened the case
He
could not bear to give it up without at least looking at it, one last time.
He
could not bring himself to open the case now, though, not here, not in this
crude shelter of slats and canvas—not where at any moment he might be
interrupted, be discovered, peered at by dull uncomprehending eyes. This
is nothing shameful, he insisted to himself. There is nothing shameful
here; but it is personal.
He
tucked the case under his arm and stepped out into the slanting sunlight on
deck. Around him, the deckers and poleboys worked at their own simpleminded
tasks, casting only the occasional incurious glance his way. As he stood there
in the doorway, a decker shambled up to him sullenly. "Leaving? Done with
shelter?"
"With
this?" the Caineslayer said distantly, moving away. "Yes. I am done
with shelter."
Yet
he could not make himself carry the case off the barge. Certainly, the simplest
course would have been to slip into the city, to find himself a private room in
some random tavern, a room with a lock on its door—the simplest course, but not
easy. Not easy at all. Somewhere deep within his bowels lurked a dread of what
he was about to do, as though this sword might have a power over him not unlike
that of the Caine Mirror. Here on the barge, he still had some control.
Holding
the case tight in his armpit, he folded his fingers together in a specifically
complex knot, breathed deeply three times, and vanished from the consciousness
of the barge crew. Any whose eye fell upon him forgot his existence an instant
later; any who thought of him assumed he had left the barge with the triumphal
parade. He slipped onto the afterdeck, knelt, and crawled into a narrow tunnel
formed by untidily stacked cargo crates bound for the Teranese Delta, where the
Great Chambaygen emptied into the sea.
He
knelt, and lay the case on the deck before his knees. He shut his eyes
reverently, opening the case's latches by feel, then swung back the case's lid.
He covered his face with his hands, breathing into his palms until he felt
himself to be calm; then slowly he opened his eyes and took his hands away and
looked upon the naked blade within its bed of crushed blue velvet. The shadows
of the crates that surrounded him were striped with sunlight leaking through
their slats: one single shaft shone the length of Kosall, bringing it to golden
life.
Long,
a handbreadth wide at the quillons, straight grey steel painted with silver
runes, now dark with the brown splashes of the Aktir Queen's blood—he
had not wiped the blade, for fear of disturbing the unknown magick bound into
the painted runes, and for the same reason had not returned it to a scabbard.
Kosall.
The
blade of Saint Berne.
Its
hilt was a span and a half, wrapped with sweat-stained leather, pommel a plain
steel knob; his hands trembled, fluttered near and away again like anxious
moths. Dare he lift it this one time?
Could
he not?
He
laid his fingers, delicate as a kiss, upon a quillon. He stroked the chill
steel, then took it hard into his hand. As his hand closed around the
leather-wrapped hilt, the blade came to life. Warm, humming with power, it left
him weak with desire. He pulled the sword up from its bed and raised it before
his eyes.
This
blade had parted the flesh of Caine.
Holding
leather stained with the sweat of Saint Berne, he could feel it: could
feel the slide of buzzing steel through lips of skin into the hard muscle of
Caine's abdominal wall, through the writhe of intestine into the sizzle at the
base of his spine.
Breathless,
trembling, he reached forth with his mind and touched the steel, searching
its energies for memories of Caine's blood and bone. With his power, he looked
within the blade
And
something within the blade seized him, gripped his eyes, his heart, his limbs.
From his throat came the hope of a scream, strangled to a convulsive gasp; his
back arched and his irises rolled up to disappear within his skull.
He
pitched backward into darkness. When he hit the deck, he bounced like a doll
carved of green wood.
The
dragoness was human, but no less a dragoness.
Much
has been written elsewhere of the nature of dragonkind. Most of it is wrong.
Dragons are not, as a species, creatures of evil bent upon wanton slaughter;
nor are they merely great winged lizards asleep upon mounds of treasure. They
are neither elemental forces of nature nor repositories of supernatural wisdom.
Mostly,
they are individuals. The essential nature of one may vary widely from that of
the next.
There
are, however, certain assertions that may truthfully be made of dragons as a
species. They tend to be acquisitive, vengeful, jealous of their lands and
possessions, and surpassingly fierce in their defense. Though slow to anger,
they can be extremely dangerous when roused, and none more so than a dragoness
defending her young. In these ways, dragonkind is very like humankind.
This
is why the dragoness could be human, but no less a dragoness.
The
dragoness had lived her life according to the custom of her kind; she patiently
oversaw her possessions, slowly extending their borders by gradual effort over
many years. She tended her flocks, and added to her wealth by the occasional
raid upon an unwary neighbor.
She
kept almost entirely to herself she had little interest in the events of the
wider world, and so would likely have never entered this story, save that on
one raid—a raid of vengeance, upon her most hated enemy—she had taken the child
of the river.
The
child of the river was pursued by the god of dust and ashes. And thus the
dragoness became part of this story.
THIRTEEN
Avery
Shanks dabbed blood from the cut on her lower lip, looked upon her
granddaughter, and pondered the fundamental unpredictability of existence.
This
was an unaccustomed pastime for her, and she found it both difficult and
uncomfortable. She thought of herself as active, rather than contemplative: a
doer, a decider. An operative principle. A verb.
Yet
now, unexpectedly, reality had jumped her from behind and knocked her over;
this verb had become an object, held down and pummeled by a force that was
beyond her capacity to resist. This force cared nothing for her self-image of
ruthless decisiveness; it permitted only an arbitrarily limited range of
decision, rigidly bounded by the fortress walls of her heart. She—who had lived
her life in simple declaratives—must now accept a conditional, no matter how it
stung.
She
might possibly love this child.
Few
who knew Avery Shanks would ever guess that she was capable of such an emotion.
If asked, she would deny it. For her, love was less an emotion than a pressure:
a physical compression that seized her heart, her lungs, every part of her, and
punished her mercilessly. In the wilder moments of hallucination occasionally
brought on by her overindulgence in sedatives and alcohol, she saw a monster
that rode behind her shoulder, its tentacles sliding into her chest through
puckered mouths that had opened upon her skin; this monster used its hideous
grip to drive her this way and that, to force her into unwise choices and
ridiculous actions, and sometimes, simply and purely, maliciously, to inflict
pain. This, to Avery Shanks, was love.
She
had loved Karl.
Seven
years of brutal self-denial had shrunk the monster that had tortured her since
his death, carved away its power over her, until it could produce only the odd
twinge, here and there. But now, fear pooled in Avery Shanks' belly when
she looked at her granddaughter: The monster might be coming back.
And
it wore the face of a child she had never seen until just a week ago.
"Faith,"
she said firmly, though her hand reached out with timid gentleness to the
girl's flaxen hair—hair so much like Karl's had been, at this age. "Faith,
you must lie still. Lie still for Grandmaman, mm?"
Faith's
response was a slow calming, a shuddering release of tension like a bridge
cable being unwinched to slack; she had barely spoken for two days now, and her
eyes remained empty as a midsummer's sky.
The
room was walled, floored, and ceilinged with soft, resilient, featureless white
plastic. SynTech had the contract to produce Social Police holding
cells—through Petrocal, the company SynTech had acquired through Avery's
marriage to the father of her children, the late Carlton Norwood—and so
retrofitting this room in Avery's Boston mansion had been swift and relatively
inexpensive. A screen wider than Faith's outstretched arms dominated one wall,
but it remained deliberately detuned so that it showed pulsing electronic snow;
oceanic white noise hissed from its concealed speakers.
Since
Sunday morning, this room had been the only place in which Faith could open her
eyes without screaming.
The
technician nodded his thanks to Avery and lifted a gunmetal tiara from which
sprouted the fine, nearly invisible hairs of neural probes. "Okay,
Businessman. Let's try this again, shall we?"
Avery
sighed. "Yes. But for the last time." She stroked Faith's arms and
clasped her wrists firmly. "Lie still, now, Faith. This will not hurt, I
promise you."
Dozens
of tests had been run on the child since Sunday—every single neurological
indicator that could be taken while she was under sedation. Not a single
abnormality had been found. Professional Lieberman, her staff Physician, had
smugly diagnosed "chronic idiopathic catatonia." When Avery had
consulted a dictionary and discovered that this clinical diagnosis meant, in
plain language, "she won't move and she won't talk, and I don't know
why," she had fired the man on the spot.
The
next Physician to examine Faith, having failed to find any organic cause for
this behavior, suggested that the child might have some sort of emotional
disturbance. Avery's reply had been a tight, lipless snarl that she did not
need a hundred-mark-an-hour neurospecialist to tell her that a child who
alternates catatonia and convulsion might be emotionally disturbed.
Finally,
desperately, Avery had decided to have the child fitted with an array of neural
probes that function rather like a nonsurgical version of a thoughtmitter; she
felt that if she could only see what Faith saw, feel what Faith felt, she might
be able to gain some understanding of what it was that caused the child so much
suffering.
She
feared that she understood already. This neural probe was her last tight-lipped
attempt to convince herself that she was wrong.
The
process of fitting and adjusting the neural probe distressed Faith to the point
of convulsive seizure, despite the use of powerful tranquilizers. They had
tried making the preliminary adjustments with the child under sedation, but
when she had awakened, the seizures had redoubled. Any attempt to restrain
Faith by any means beyond the touch of Avery's hand had shown similar results.
And
so: their final attempt would be made with only Avery's touch and voice to keep
the child calm. Avery held the child's wrists and murmured alien words in her
ear, phrases that came awkwardly from her hard mouth: "Shh, Faith. No one
will hurt you. Grandmaman is here, and everything will be all right."
If
this didn't work, she would have to call in Tan'elKoth after all.
Her
silver crew cut drew down as her face twisted into a scowl that left her mouth
hard and sharp as the edge of a scalpel. She had promised herself that she
would exhaust every other option first. She had second-handed For Love of
Pallas Rill far too many times; she knew too well that Tan'elKoth was not
to be trusted.
Not
one little bit.
Avery's
grip tightened upon Faith's wrists as the technician made the attempt to slip
the tiara once again around the child's hairline. The previous round of
convulsions had been violent enough that Faith had even begun to flail with her
left arm—her left arm that, like her legs, she had barely moved since her
initial attack. This unexpected use of the left had slipped in the punch that
had given Avery her fat lip with its trickle of blood.
Much
of Saturday afternoon, on the flight home and after, Avery had busied herself
with the necessary arrangements: boarding school; a governess; a court order
granting her title to all of Faith's clothing, toys, and other possessions from
Michaelson's house; and a stream of outside salesfolk coming by the Shanks
mansion with the array of clothing and accessories proper to a young
Businessman's first months at school. She had spent more of the day with Faith
herself than was, perhaps, absolutely necessary; she found that she took
unexpected pleasure in the child's company. Her obedience that was never
subservient, her clear and level gaze, her serene acceptance of Avery's every
word coupled with fearless boldness and self-assurance—in nearly every way,
Avery had thought wistfully, this was the child that she should have had for
her own.
Instead
she had been saddled with three vicious weaklings: sons that tormented each
other—and her—with their backbiting and petty betrayals, their bootlicking and
maneuvering for her favor. Even Karl, her precious golden Karl, the youngest
and brightest of her sons—even he had not quite lived up to the Shanks name.
Oh, he had come closer than his brothers, it was true: in defying her explicit
wishes and entering the Studio Conservatory to pursue an Acting career, he was
the only one of her children who had shown any spine at all.
It
was her own fault: she had married badly. Her husband's company, Petrocal, had
concealed its financial weakness until after the ceremony that had brought him
and it under the aegis of the Shanks empire. If she had known how weak the
company truly was, she never would have married him. The strength of one's
corporation is the strength of one's character.
But
when she looked upon Faith, she wondered if perhaps she had asked too much of
Karl; perhaps the true steel of the Shanks character skips a generation.
Perhaps the Shanks for which the world had been waiting was this golden-haired
girl.
This
was an outrageously romantic fantasy—the sort of smoke-and-moonbeam dream for
which one of her children would have received, at the very least, a stern
scolding—but it was, by all signs, possible; and the possibility alone
had been intoxicating. For that one Saturday night, despite the dire tone of
her conversation with Tan'elKoth, Avery Shanks came dangerously close to being
happy.
But
Sunday morning
Hari—Hari,
I'm hurt. You have to help me. Hari, Hari, please .. .
And
that innocently romantic dream for which Avery Shanks had allowed herself to
hope—however briefly—had, in that moment, burned her heart to ashes. She knew,
in the darkness beneath those smoldering embers, that this new wound to the
Shanks future was somehow Michael-son's fault, as well.
The
child had spent the rest of that day under sedation; whenever she woke up, the
screaming and thrashing would begin again. Physician Lieberman had surmised
that the convulsions were triggered by sudden stimulus: any kind of noise, or
movement, or touch. She was calm enough while left by herself in a
lightless, silent room—but Avery could not allow that. She had been through
such confinements herself, as a child; the closet had been her father's
standard punishment for misbehavior. Avery had thought herself kindhearted,
when disciplining her own children, for forgoing the closet in favor of the
belt.
Later
Sunday night, as Avery had made ready to retire, she'd found herself thinking
about the child: a nagging, recurrent image of Faith sobbing in the dark. Two
cocktails, a double dose of Teravil, and even extended, athletic sex with Lexi,
her current houseboy, while she waited for the Teravil to work its chemical
massage upon her jangled nerves, had all failed to erase the imagined quiet
hitching sobs.
Even
if the child was crying, Avery had little reason to care, as she had
been reminding herself over and over again through that long and grueling day.
Despite being Karl's daughter, the child was of use, primarily, as a weapon
against Michaelson. Faith had been damaged, probably irreparably, by her early
upbringing in that perverse distortion of a proper household. If the child must
pass a truncated existence under permanent sedation, little would be lost.
She
refused to allow herself to become attached to the child. She had learned long
ago that the sacrifice of sentiment is merely part of the cost of being
Business. But the hollow mental echo of a child crying, in the dark, would not
let her sleep.
Finally—with
a sigh and a mental note to switch to a new brand of sedatives—she had
disentangled herself from Lexi's muscular limbs, belted her dressing gown of
hand-woven natural silk about her waist, and tramped down the stairs to take a
pair of IR goggles from the mansion's first-floor security office. After
canceling the lights in the upstairs hallway, she had opened the door to
Faith's darkened room—and found the child peacefully asleep. As was the nurse:
slumped in a chair with her own goggles pushed up onto her forehead. The room
reeked of urine.
The
child had wet the bed.
Three
rigid steps into the room, Avery had thrown the whole strength of her arm
behind a ringing slap that nearly dislocated the jaw of the sleeping nurse. The
slap was followed by a clipped, precise stream of invective that had delineated
in broad terms the nurse's myriad failures as an Artisan and as a human being,
and had finished with a religious admonition: she instructed the nurse to get
down on her knees and pray that she would still have a trade in the morning.
And
of course all this unseemly commotion had woken the child, who began shrieking
again, and when the nurse hurriedly ordered on the lights and tried to
remove Faith from the tangle of soiled bedcovers, the child had yowled and
clawed and scratched like a panicked cat, tearing away from the nurse and
scrambling across the room
To
throw her arms around Avery's legs, and hold on tight.
Avery
was too astonished to do more than clutch at the child to keep her own balance.
Eyes squeezed shut, face pressed hard against Avery's hip, Faith had quieted
her shrieks to gentle sobs, and the thin wires of muscle in her trembling arms
and legs had slackened toward some kind of ease, and Faith had spoken her only
words since breakfast: a tiny, abject whisper.
"I'm
sorry, Grandmaman," she'd murmured, barely audible. "I'm sorry
.."
"Shh,
Faith, shh," Avery had said awkwardly, the words stumbling from her
half-numbed lips. Perhaps betrayed by the combination of alcohol and sedatives,
she found herself suddenly overwhelmed, close to unexpected, astonishing tears.
"It's all right, girl. It's all right."
"It's
just so empty in here ..."
Faith's
tears had soaked through the silk of Avery's dressing gown and touched her aged
skin, warm as a kiss. The gown would be irreparably stained, but Avery had not
been able to make herself push the child away; she could only stand, and hold
Faith, and gnaw on her lower lip until the pain drove her own tears away.
By
the time the sheets were changed, and Faith had been sponged off and dressed in
a clean nightgown, it had become clear to Avery that the child was calm only
when in her presence. Over the following days—as Avery fed Faith, and bathed
her, and changed disposable diapers on her like an infant—Faith would sometimes
speak disconnectedly, offering faint, ambiguous clues to the unguessable mental
world into which she had retreated, and sometimes she even relaxed into a smile
that was in this household more rare, and more precious, than any diamond.
Providing
this constant care was a tremendous burden upon Avery—it interfered drastically
with the conduct of SynTech business, as she could work only sporadically, over
the net—and was one that she resented mightily. But she never took this out on
the child; Faith needed her, depended on her, in a way no one ever had.
Her own children had been reared by their governesses and the masters of their
boarding schools—but Faith could not be so lightly shoved aside. There was no
one else who could help her.
It
was exhausting, physically and emotionally draining, and infuriating. It had
even cost her the gratifying sexual gymnastics of Lexi: Last night, when Avery
had collapsed into bed, still smelling of the antiseptic soap she'd used
to wash Faith after the child's latest round of incontinence, he had made some
childish remark about Avery's lack of interest in lovemaking. "It's that
child," he'd said petulantly. "That downcaste creature has turned you
into an old woman."
She'd
looked at her hands, then at the ceiling, then finally at his artfully tanned,
synthetically rugged face. "I'm tired of you, Lexi," she had said.
"Go home."
His
face took on the pinched, almost prim pucker that was how Lexi registered his
displeasure. "All right," he said. "I'll be in my room."
"Only
to pack." She laid her arm over her eyes to shut out the sight of his
extraordinary physique. "You're fired. Severance will be credited to your
account."
"You
can't—"
"I
can."
He
had stood in the doorway, posing, and she couldn't help but take one last look.
He really was a magnificent animal.
"You'll
miss me," he had said. "You'll think of everything we've done
together, and you'll be sorry."
She
sighed. "I'm never sorry. Go pack."
"But
you love me—"
"If
you're still here when I wake up, I'll have you shot."
And
that had been that: it would give her more time to devote to Faith.
She
was intellectually honest enough to admit that she would not have so extended
herself for one of her own children; she rationalized her effort by insisting
privately that this was merely the most temporary thing—some kind of shock
brought on by Faith's finding herself in such radically altered
circumstances—and the doctors would either cure her, or her difficulty would
pass on its own in a day or two.
She
needn't have worried.
As
the tech fitted the gunmetal circlet around Faith's brow and she began once
again her spasms and guttural coughing moans, there came a subtle change in the
quality of light. The light of the stark white room had taken on a faint peachy
tone: a little warm, a little golden, a little like sunlight. Not at all the
usual chilly glow of the overhead tubes.
The
white electronic surf from the wallscreen's speakers faded into expectant
silence. Avery slowly made herself turn to look at the screen, half flinching;
she had somehow become ten years old again, afraid of a sudden slap from her
father.
"Businessman
Shanks. How pleasant to see you."
The
voice was toneless, as mechanical as an antique voder. The face on the screen
was desiccated, skeletal, skin of yellowed parchment crumpled over
protruding bones, brown-traced teeth exposed by a mouth like a cut in a chunk
of raw liver.
Avery
swung herself around to face the screen squarely. "Who the devil are
you?" she demanded. "How did you get this code?"
"That
would be Faith on the table behind you, hm? Excellent."
One
quick stride brought Avery to the wallscreen's keypad, and she stabbed the
CANCEL sharply.
The
face on the screen smiled.
She
stabbed the key again, and again, and pounded it with her fist. Faith's moans
became louder, more insistent.
"How
did you get this code?" she snarled. How could anyone get
this code? The screen had been operational for less than a day Avery herself
didn't have its code! How could he override a cancel command? She made a
fist once more, and raised it as though to smash the screen itself.
"I
am hurt that you don't recognize me, Businessman. Hurt, and dismayed. I am
Arturo Kollberg."
Her
fist opened nervelessly, as did her mouth. "How—?"
"Thank
you for looking after Faith for us. She'll be going now." "Going . . . ? You can't—"
"On
the contrary," Kollberg said,
and the screen flickered back to its detuned speckling snow.
Faith's
moans turned to sobs. The technician stood at the head of the bed, the gunmetal
tiara useless in his hands. Avery glared at the white screen, grinding her
teeth.
Tentative
knocking on the door—"Businessman?" came the hesitant voice of her
head butler.
"Go
away."
"Businessman,
it's the Social Police. They say they've come for the young mistress."
Avery
lowered her head.
Behind
her, Faith began to scream.
2
Avery
Shanks was not blind to the irony: The Social Police had arrived with a custody
order ceding Faith to their control. She was forced to stand, blinking back
helpless tears, as the Social Police loaded Faith into the rear of a riot van.
In
the days that followed, she found herself thinking of Michaelson with
unexpected envy. He, at least, had raged and fought and threatened. He had
taken up the gauntlet of his life and cast it at the feet of his enemy, for
love of this child.
Avery
had done nothing but stand on the landing pad, and try to take her loss like a
Businessman.
The
image haunted her, awake and asleep: Faith on a psychward stretcher,
anesthetized, under restraint. She should have been deep into unconsciousness,
but instead she struggled in slow spastic motion against the padded sheath that
bound her to the stretcher, and she moaned, deep and dark, in the back of her throat.
Somehow, even through the blanket layers of drug that enwrapped her, Faith had
known she was being taken from her home.
Can't
you see what you're doing to her? Avery's
heart had cried out, again and again, though the words never touched the bitter
silence that sealed her lips. Can't you see that this child needs me?
Rising
up her throat like vomit was the sickening conviction that a society where such
things can happen is in some way fundamentally, ineradicably wrong. There was
an old, old saying, going back hundreds of years—she had known of it since
before she could remember—but only now did she understand how true it was.
A
liberal, the old saying went, is
a conservative who just got arrested.
The
first day passed with no word. SynTech's legal staff could not help her here;
Donner Morton, the head of the Leisure clan to which the Shanks were
affiliated, promised to look into the matter, but the best even he was likely
to be able to do was find out where Faith had been taken.
She
didn't understand even the broadest outlines of whatever might be going on, but
she was certain it all came back to Tan'elKoth. He had made the call that had
given her Faith. He had been in the Curioseum on the night of the fire, and
Pallas Ril had apparently died according to his precise prediction.
She
knew where Faith must be now.
The
second day passed, and the third. She ignored her duties as SynTech CEO; she
abused her executives, snarled at her house staff, rejected all contact with
her father and her surviving sons; she refused even to dress for dinner, taking
meals in her room. She spent these days pestering her Business Tribune,
aggravating her Leisure affiliate, filing motions in civil court, and shopping
her story around the newsnet sites in hopes some influential reporter might
interview her. In that short span she made herself a nuisance to the Leisure
Congress, an embarrassment to the Business caste, and a humiliating liability
to the Shanks chemical empire.
After
three days, she flew to San Francisco personally, thinking to badger and
bully her way into the Curioseum, and at least confront that treacherous
creature face-to-face—but she found that the streets around the Studio had been
blocked by barricades, manned by joint forces of the Social Police and Studio
Security; even its airspace was restricted to official security traffic.
Without
hesitation, she returned to her campaign.
She
knew the damage she was doing, but the monster that rode behind her shoulder
had her fully in its slimy grip; she was helpless to resist, and she drove
herself even harder than she did anyone else. And so, when she was
finally—inevitably—detained by the Social Police, it came as a decided relief
to everyone concerned.
Even
to her.
Never
having had any dealings with the Social Police, Avery had no idea what to
expect; arraignment, perhaps, on charges real or fabricated or both, perhaps
detention without trial, interrogation, perhaps even torture—the uglier rumors
of such things, which Avery had always dismissed as undercaste rubbish, are far
more convincing, more threatening, when one is riding in the back of a riot van
with one's wrists stripcuffed together behind one's back.
There
had been no charges, so far, no warrant—she wasn't even officially under
arrest. The officers who had come for her had allowed her to pack an overnight
bag before leading her away. She suffered dreadful fantasies of simply
disappearing, vanishing into the bowels of the legal system, never to be seen
again.
But
never in her wildest fantasy did she anticipate being delivered directly to the
Studio Curioseum.
3
The
Social Police pulled her swiftly but without violence through the Curioseum,
lights blinking on as they entered each room and then blinking off behind them.
They drew her through the riot of unfamiliar form and color and odor that was
the arboretum: purple-veined chokeweed crashed against its restraining nets,
chartreuse and pink-branched songtrees whistled shrilly, marsh-poppy pods
jetted soporific pollen across their paths. They skirted the howls and snarls
and chatter of the menagerie, and finally brought her into a large, bare
rectangular room, its only light what leaked through the broad, bright window
at the far end.
Silhouetted
against that light was a huge hulking man with hands clasped behind his
enormous back, staring down through a broad plate glass window. I knew
i4 she thought. By size alone, this could only be Tan'elKoth.
"I
cannot imagine what you hope to gain by this," she snapped at the
back of his head.
Eyes
shifted in his ghostly reflection. "Businessman Shanks," he said in a
half-whispered murmur, like a distant turbojet. "Thank you for
coming." "Don't waste your courtesy on me, Professional—"
"Courtesy
is never wasted. Please release her, officers—and then please leave us. The
Businessman and I must confer in private."
"Confer—?"
Avery began, astonished. "This is ridiculous. What have you done with
Faith?"
"Officers?
If you would be so kind?"
One
of the officers buzzed, "I'm not sure this is a good idea, leaving you
two alone."
"What,
precisely, do you fear?" Tan'elKoth's voice sounded eminently reasonable,
though still thin and whispery, as though he struggled with laryngitis.
"The sole exit from these two rooms is the door through which you came. Or
perhaps you think that I and the Businessman will concoct some nefarious
conspiracy in your absence?"
"I'm
afraid," came the toneless
reply, "that he won't like it."
"Then
go and ask him." Tan'elKoth turned toward them now, and there was
something lumpish, disturbingly misshapen, in the curve of his silhouette.
"Meanwhile, please do as I request. I believe that you are to comply with
my wishes insofar as they do not conflict with your—" Avery got the
impression that the ex-Emperor chose this next word with great
care."—duty."
One
of the officers took a small manual snipper from a belt and clipped the
stripcuff apart. Avery shook her hands free and smoothed down the sleeves of
her Business suit, then folded her arms and stood, waiting. The four officers
seemed to confer in some inaudible fashion, then all turned as one and marched
out of the small room. The door closed behind them.
In
the first instant that they were alone, Avery snapped, "Why have you
brought me here?"
"I
did not bring you, Businessman. The Social Police did. They do not, as you may
have observed, come and go at my order. Join me here at the window. We must
talk."
"I
have nothing to say to you."
"Don't
be an ass; you've said a great deal already. Come."
Avery
reluctantly paced toward him. Tan'elKoth towered over her like some kind
of beast that should be extinct in the wild. She did not want to get too close;
she could not guess what he might do, but she was frighteningly sure that she
could not stop him. When the Social Police had zipped the stripcuffs tight
around her wrists, she had been yanked out of the world she knew. Here, her
wealth and power and status meant nothing; all that mattered was that she was
thin and frail and no longer young, and in the presence of something brutal,
massive, and possibly predatory.
But
she was still a Shanks. Though society might fail her, pride would endure.
At
the window, she placed herself deliberately within the reach of his huge arm,
and just as deliberately refused to look at him, gazing instead down into the
room beyond
At a
small child with golden hair strapped down to a steel table in a blank white
room.
"Faith!"
She gasped and pressed her hands against the glass. "Oh, my god,
Faith!" An overpowering vision of Faith in convulsion, pounding her skull
and spine against this unpadded stainless steel torture rack, nearly paralyzed
her; she could hardly speak. "What have you done to her? What have you
done?"
"Tried
to protect her, as best I can," Tan'elKoth replied grimly.
"Protect
her?" Avery could not tear her eyes away from the horror of that small
sterile room. "This is how you protect her?"
"I
can do no better," Tan'elKoth said. "Businessman, look at me."
She
ignored him, staring through the glass at the only meaning all this
had
for her: Faith was breathing, she was still breathing. "You must
get her out of here!"
One
huge hand caught her shoulder and turned her toward him like a child, so
overpowering that she could not even dream of resistance. "Look at
me," he repeated, his whisper-hoarse voice now a fierce rasp. "My
status here is written upon my face."
Avery
gaped openly, seventy years of proper Business reserve and decorum wiped away
in an instant.
She
remembered that he had once been beautiful.
His
face looked like a handful of spoiled hamburger, with bulbous growths of moldy
yellow and purple and green interpenetrating and overlapping; one eyebrow had
been shaved, a vertical wound across it held closed with black insectile
stitches, the eye below it swollen shut like a mouth held primly pursed over a
tennis ball; a similarly stitched line climbed over the curve of his forehead
into a shaved-back hairline; one side of his mouth hung loose and bulbous, two
curves of stitches trailing from its corner, one up and one down, giving
him a cartoon smile and frown simultaneously.
His
left hand still clutched her shoulder; he lifted his right, to show her the
bandage that blanketed a stomach-churning absence where his smallest finger
should have been. He said, "If you only knew what I have endured, to
protect that child."
"Protect
her from what?" Avery said, now as hoarse as he. "Tan'elKoth, you
must tell me what is happening!"
"Do
you know where we are? This is the Curioseum menagerie, Businessman.
This is the veterinary center. Specifically, the surgery. If you cannot
or do not help me help Faith, this is where the creature who prisons us all
will rape her, kill her, and dissect her body." Tan'elKoth's face
compressed with pain. "And likely eat the pieces."
"You
can't expect me to ... This isn't possible! You cannot possibly be
serious!"
"No?"
Tan'elKoth lifted his maimed hand and held it out for her inspection.
Avery
stared at it, unable to speak, her own hand slowly coming up to cover her
mouth. "What what creature? Who is behind all this? Does this have
something to do with Kollberg?"
"It
is better that you do not know; you have seen too much already. Some ignorance
is a kindness, Businessman—some ignorance may, in this matter, save your
life."
"And
so you won't tell me."
"You
would not believe me if I did."
Slowly,
stiffly, feeling now her years, Avery straightened, and she let her hand fall.
She looked up into the ex-Emperor's one open eye, and her mouth returned to its
customary knife-slash line. "And why?" she asked steadily. "Why
should I help you?"
"I
am not asking you to help me. I am asking you to help Faith."
"Why
should I believe you? I admit that your ... injuries . . . shocked me, but how
am Ito know how you got them? You could have been in a car accident. You could
have been mugged."
Heat
surged up into her face; anger filled every part of her that dread and horror
had emptied. She clenched fists tightly against her thighs, livid. "You
are a liar. A murderer. You tied my son to a cross. Did you think
I would forget that? Did you think I could forgive it? Do you think I
don't know who called me that night? Do you think I don't know who
pretended to be..."
Words
failed her; the grief that cut her heart would admit of no expression. Karl
... oh, Karl, she thought, and hot needles of tears pricked at her eyes.
"You scum," she whispered. "You vile, manipulative peasant of a
man—"
"Businessman,"
Tan'elKoth said softly, kindly, his voice warm as a hug, "there was no
pretense. In a way more real than I fear you can ever understand, I am your
son."
"I
saw," she said through teeth grimly clenched. "I saw your . . . your act.
.. at Kollberg's trial. You are not Karl."
"Not
all of me, no; but all of him. Karl is here, within me. He is
frightened, and sad, and he misses you very much."
She
lowered her head and tried to stop her tears by pressing the edge of her hand
against her face, as though stanching blood from open wounds. "How dare
you ..." Her whisper was barely audible. "How dare you even speak his
name?"
"Mother
..." her son's voice said softly. "Mother, close your eyes, and I'm
here. Maybe just for a little, for a little while—but I'm here. I need you,
Mother ..."
Grief
sawed through her knees, and she sagged against his chest. "Oh, Karl ...
How can you do this? How can you do this to me?"
Inhumanly
powerful arms encircled her, but there was comfort in giving herself over to
their unguessable strength. For a cold moment, she could imagine that
she had become once again a moody, difficult little girl, finally getting an
embrace from a father far kinder than the one with which fate had cursed her. A
maimed hand stroked her brush of steel-colored hair.
"Mother,
please—you have to help her. You don't know what they want to do to her. We—you
and all of us—we're her only hope. She's my daughter, Mother. You
promised—when I left for the Conservatory, remember? You promised you'd always
be there for me. Please—you know I'd never ask if we didn't need you—"
Avery
took a deep, shuddering breath and gathered the ragged remnants of her
strength. She straightened, and she pushed herself away from those encircling
arms. She had to stare at her fists for a long moment before she could bear the
sight of Faith strapped to the surgical table of stain-less steel.
"Swear—swear that you will . . ." she said hoarsely, and stopped,
struggling with her self-command.
Cords
jumped beside her jaw.
"Swear
that you will never do that to me again—" she rasped, staring at her
reflected ghost within the glass. "Swear it, and I will do whatever you
ask."
4
Faith
could be almost content when she was nothing at all.
Her
eyes would go away, and some other little girl would see what was inside them,
all the cold lights and bright shiny metal shapes and the big mirror that was
part of one wall; her ears could go to some other place, and a second little
girl heard the whisper of the vents and the sounds of the door opening and
somebody talking that real quiet way Daddy always did around Grandpa; a third
little girl felt cold metal beneath her legs and head, and the thin white
plastic of her hospital gown; a fourth smelled the hospital smell.
And
her remembery had gone to someone else, too—that fifth girl was the unhappiest
of them all, because the little fifth girl had to look at the bad thing that
made her scream and scream and scream.
But
Faith, though, she wasn't any of those little girls. She was pretty much
nothing at all. She was here, safe in the big dark hush, and she kept finding
ways to make it darker, and even hushier, because she was pretty sure that if
she could make it dark enough, and hushy enough, to where none of those other
little girls could bother her anymore ever again, she might even be able to
hear the river.
Because
that was the only trouble; that was how she kept having to be almost nothing,
instead of really nothing.
If
she was really nothing, she wouldn't be so lonely.
Now
the rumbly man was coming back. He stomped through her quiet place, shouting at
her. He was so loud. He couldn't see her, not as long as she didn't move
and didn't answer. She knew he didn't mean to be loud; she could tell from the
half-whispery, kind of wheedly voice he was using, the way he kept calling her honey
and asking her to take his hand.
She
didn't like the nimbly man—she remembered him from back when she was something,
one time when Daddy had taken her to the Curiemuseum. He'd scared her a little
then—with his great big hands and hungry eyes, like the troll under the bridge
from Billy Goats Gruff—but not too much, because Mommy wasn't afraid of
him, and neither was the river.
But
now she was all alone in the hushy dark, and he was coming closer and closer.
She tried to push him away, to hold him on the outside of the dark, and for a
little while it seemed like it was working. She could use the dark to hold him
outside; the darker she made it, the farther away he got. She'd done it before,
but he kept on coming back, and she was getting so tired
Tired
from pushing him, tired from pushing the five little girls, tired from
hanging on to the dark and the hush, and he never seemed to get tired at
all
"Faith?
Faith, child, can you hear me?"
And
she couldn't, not really—it was another little girl, the second one, who heard
Grandmaman's voice; the third little girl felt Grandmaman's hand on her hair;
the first other little girl could see Grandmaman in the bright hard light, and
the fourth could smell her musty Grandpa-smelling breath.
"Faith,
you must listen to Grandmaman, now. This is important."
Mommy
had told her, way way back ago, that she was to mind Grandmaman until
Daddy came for her. No good pretending anymore; Mommy was never fooled by
pretending. Faith could pretend so hard that she pretty much believed herself,
but Mommy always knew better—and Mommy had told her to mind Grandmaman.
With
a little shuddering sigh, Faith let go of the hush, and stopped pretending
there was a second little girl who had her ears; she let go of the dark, and
stopped pretending about the other little girls who had her eyes, and
her nose and her hands and her mouth and practically everything else.
Grandmaman
stood over her in the white room, and her hair was sparkly in the bright
lights. Faith didn't remember where the white room was, or why it was different
from some other white room that she didn't really remember; she didn't remember
how she had gotten here, or why Grandmaman should look so upset, because she
was still holding on to the last little girl, the fifth one, the little
girl who had Faith's remembery. As long as she could hold on to the last little
girl, the others didn't really matter.
The
last little girl was the one who kept screaming, way off in the hushy dark.
Grandmaman
leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "Faith, you have to—have
to—" She looked back at the big numbly man, who stood over by a little
door with his great big troll arms crossed over his great big troll chest.
"Tell
her to stop hiding," the big rumbly man said in his big rumbly voice.
"Tell her to come to the front of her head."
"Faith,
you must stop hiding. Come to the front of your head."
That
she could hear Grandmaman and the big numbly man both meant she was already at
the front of her head, all alone where it was loud and bright and cold and
really scary. Faith blinked and tried to not—tried to be brave—but a
tear leaked out anyway and trickled down into her ear. "It's too empty up
here," she told Grandmaman in a little tiny whispery voice. "It's lonely."
"Tell
her," said the big rumbly man, "that if she takes my hand, inside her
head, she will never be lonely again."
Never
be lonely again ... Faith heard
that echo and echo and echo, and it didn't even fade away: again again
again. She let herself fall back down into the dark, and started to feel
around for the rumbly man's hand.
"Faith,
did you hear him? I want you to do what he says, do you understand? Take his
hand, Faith. Faith?—Tan'elKoth, I feel completely ridiculous. What is this
supposed to mean, take your hand inside her head? This is a foolish waste of
time."
She
couldn't see the big rumbly man, but she could feel him all around her, as
though he was made out of really thick fog and she was walking through him,
except fog is kind of cold and wet and icky, and the big rumbly man was really
warm and dry and kind of, kind of, almost, friendly. Like he liked her. Like he
maybe even loved her a little bit.
"You
surrender too easily. Not only does she hear you, she struggles to comply. I
can see it."
He didn't
love her the way Mommy did, of course, it wasn't the same thing, but more like
the way she loved her lemon-and-green toga that Daddy had bought her in
Chicago: the way you love something that you figure is not really smart enough
to love you back.
That
was okay with her. She didn't want to have to love him back. When you love them
back, you end up like the little fifth girl.
"See?
What is there to see?"
"You
have first-handed a thaumaturge; Karl himself was somewhat adept. You must
remember how the Shell appears to one in mindview—even now, the child crudely
and clumsily tunes her Shell to match the frequencies mine generates."
She
couldn't find the big rumbly man's hand, but she got herself to just about
where it ought to be, and she reached out and sort of imagined his hand.
Kind of like when you're having a dream and you're lost in a big dark building
that you've never seen before, but you decide that it's really your house, and
somehow you know it is even though it doesn't look like it at first: she just
took hold of the fog and the dark and the big dry warmth and decided that
this was his hand.
"You're
in mindview? Right now? Don't you have to concentrate?" "I am
concentrating."
"Then
how can you still talk?"
"I
am Tan'elKoth."
And
when she kept on imagining—kept on deciding—the fog got to be more and
more like a hand, got bigger and warmer and drier, until it was sort of really
pretty solid.
"She's
tuning her Shell? Like an adept?"
"Not
like an adept. Like a child. All children have some skill with magick. The
primary function of pedagogy, in your society, is the murder of this
ability."
She
didn't know what any of that was supposed to mean, but that was okay, because
she was really mostly paying attention to the hand. So far, it looked kind of
like a cartoon hand, you know, the right number of fingers and stuff but it
didn't look like it really belonged to anybody. It was just real big.
But
she hung on and kept on deciding—a real hand would have some wrinkles on the
knuckles, and some more on the palm here, and it would have little bulgy things
at the bottom of each finger, and of course since the big rumbly man was a
grown-up there'd be a little bit of hair on the back
As
the hand got to be really pretty real, the bushy dark wasn't so bushy anymore:
She could hear somebody talking, somebody saying in a little tiny squeaky voice
Be careful—oh, please be careful. Pretty soon she could see him, and the
more she listened, the clearer he got. This was somebody she didn't know, some
little old man, all wrinkled and bent over, and he looked like he wouldn't
smell very good.
There
were other people here now, lots of people, all dressed funny—not like real
Administrators or Artisans or anybody else—all dressed like they were going to
some kind of grown-up costume party, or maybe to a convention, like Fancon. And
they all came crowding up around, and they were all talking at once, and it was
pretty scary but none of them really looked mean or anything. There was one man
who looked kind of like the big rumbly man, except he was a lot bigger, and he
had really long wavy hair and a huge bristly beard. And there was another big
man with golden hair and beautiful blue eyes, and he came right up close to her
and kneeled down and looked like he was going to cry.
Faith?
Do you know me, Faith? Do you know who I am?
She
really hated when grown-ups asked that kind of question, because usually you
didn't, and then they seemed kind of disappointed and sometimes even hurt. So
she didn't really want to answer him, even though he had really nice hair and
really nice eyes, and he looked pretty upset. He put his hand out and touched
her arm and said Faith: Faith, honey
And
the big rumbly man shouted inside her head: BACK! DOWN, YOU JACKALS! BACK
WITHIN THE GATES. THIS ONE IS MINE!
He
must have done something to all the people that scared them and maybe even
hurt, because they all went away a lot faster than they had come,
and the big rumbly man was so loud, and so angry, and kind of mean-sounding
that she started to cry, and as soon as she started to cry she wanted Mommy to
be here, and as soon as she wanted Mommy to be here she forgot to pretend about
the little fifth girl.
Her
remembery came back, and she remembered that she was the little fifth girl all
along.
She
started to scream, and scream, and scream—and the big rumbly man was squeezing
her hand, and it hurt and she wanted Mommy or Daddy or anybody to come
and make him stop, but then he snatched her other hand, too, and squeezed them
both together, squeezed them both together, SQUEEZED them both TOGETHER
Now
she didn't even have hands anymore—the big nimbly man had squeezed them until
they turned into just one wrist, like her arms were a big wishbone, and her one
big wrist just connected right with the big wrist of the rumbly man and she
could feel his blood pumping in through her arms and hers pumping out through
his.
The
big rumbly man bared his big sharp teeth down at her. Now, child: Where is
the river?
Faith
could only shake her head dumbly; she couldn't stop looking at where his big
hairy wrist melted into her two little smooth ones. Something seemed to be
caught in her throat, like she'd swallowed some kind of little rat and it was
climbing back up out of her stomach with its little needly claws scratching
little pieces out of her and making her taste blood like that time she fell
down and her tooth went through her lip
The
river, child, the big rumbly
man—Tan'elKoth, she knew his name now, it flowed into her with his blood—said,
louder. I have not come so far only to be denied.
He
was getting angry, too, really angry, and the anger was hurting her,
burning her wrists and her arms and scorching her chest and making the rat in
her throat struggle harder and harder to get out.
WHERE
IS THE DAMNED RIVER? WHY CAN'T I FEEL THE RIVER?
And
he was so angry that he made her even more scared, and then the rat finally
made it all the way up to her mouth. It pushed out through her teeth and it
wasn't really a rat at all.
It
was a scream.
Scream
and scream and scream and scream.
Because
she would never be alone in here again.
5
Faith's
scream rebounded off the surgery's walls and reflected upon itself until it
spiraled up like a feedback shriek. It made Avery want to cover her ears and
crumple into a corner; instead she yanked on Tan'elKoth's arm. It felt like a
concrete lamp pole. "Stop it!" she shouted. She could barely hear her
own voice. "Stop! You're hurting her!"
He
snarled an incomprehensible reply and made an impatient shrugging twitch of the
arm that shook her off and sent her spinning against a wall with shocking
force. Half stunned, she came back at him anyway, snarling, her fingers hooking
toward his eye. He caught her arm absently—most of his attention was still on
Faith—and held her with irresistible strength.
"Stop
it!" Avery shouted again. "Hurt her again and I'll see you dead! You
hear me? I'll see you dead for this!"
Controlling
her effortlessly with his grip on her wrist, he could ignore her. Faith kept
screaming, and he bared his teeth as he leaned over her, as if he wanted to
bite her face. Avery struggled desperately, uselessly, until she realized that
Tan'elKoth had caught her with his maimed hand. She made a fist and slammed it
onto the bandaged nub that was all that remained of his little finger.
He
gasped, and his hand sprang open. She swung her fist again, overhand like she
was serving at tennis, right into the swollen mass of bruise over his eye. "Leave
her alone!"
He
didn't even wince. Before she quite understood what was happening he had her by
the throat. He lifted her off the floor and held her at arm's length; she
scrabbled uselessly at his iron fingers. His maimed hand became a fist. "I
can kill you," he said. "Do you comprehend this?"
His
grip on her throat choked off any possible response; she couldn't even nod.
"How can you help this child if you are dead?" he asked in a simple
and reasonable tone, and he held her there while he waited for some kind of
answer.
Avery
closed her eyes, and her hands fell to her sides.
If
Tan'elKoth killed her now, at least this madness that had overwhelmed her life
would end. Instead, he set her down gently and released his grip on her throat.
"Calm
the child, Businessman. She may injure herself."
Avery
summoned the strength to stay on her feet, to open her eyes and walk unsteadily
to the table where Faith convulsed against the restraints. "Hush,
Faith," she murmured, stroking the child's face. "Shh, girl.
Grandmaman is here. Grandmaman is here, and all is well."
A tear
rolled over her sharp cheekbone and dropped into Faith's hair.
Faith's
struggles soon quieted, and when Faith slipped back into her silent
unconsciousness, Avery's strength deserted her. She sagged against the
stainless steel lip of the surgical table, but even with that support she could
not hold her feet; she dropped to her knees, covered her face with her hands,
and sobbed.
"Businessman,"
Tan'elKoth said gently, "please . . . Avery, please don't cry."
His
huge warm hands took her shoulders and gently lifted her from the floor; he
guided her to the surgery's single chair, and when she sank into it, he knelt
at her side.
"Please,
Avery," he murmured, sliding his arm around her. "There is enough of
... of Karl in me that I cannot bear your tears ..."
"What
is happening to me?" Avery whispered brokenly through her covering hands.
"This is not me. This is not who I am. I don't understand what is
happening ..
"Where
love advances, reason retreats," he said kindly. "It is not unusual
to find the corpses of our illusions left to rot on that particular
field."
"I
won't let you hurt her," Avery said. She took her hands away from her face
and met his eyes. "You can kill me. But while I'm alive, I'll do whatever
it takes to stop you."
"I
understand you. You must understand me." Tan'elKoth rose and went to the
surgical table. His hand hovered an inch above Faith's hair, as though he
feared to touch her.
"What
you feel for this child, I feel for each of my Children," he said.
"There are millions, Businessman. Each is precious to me in ways
that surpass description. My dreams are filled with echoes from their future.
Those echoes are of screams."
He
turned back to her and spread his hands in appeal. "What would you not do,
to protect your grandchild? What should I not do, to protect my Children?"
"I
won't let you hurt her," Avery repeated.
His
gaze shifted fractionally, as though his eye had been drawn to some
movement in the room beyond. His face twisted through a brief, almost invisible
spasm: loathing, disgust—and, shockingly, fear.
Avery
trembled, suddenly chilled to the bone. What could frighten Tan'elKoth, she
didn't ever want to know.
"It's
not me," he said slowly, "who will hurt her, Businessman."
Hesitantly,
afraid of what she would see, she followed his gaze.
Pressed
against the surgery's window, face slack with the blankly ravenous desire of a
starving Temp outside a butcher shop, was Arturo Kollberg.
6
"How
long will he stand there?" Avery asked softly.
Kollberg
had pressed himself silently against the window for hours, now; for how many
hours, Avery could not say. She paced back and forth, hugging herself against
constant shivering, though the room was not cold.
Tan'elKoth
sat on the chair, facing away from the window, leaning over Faith in an
attitude of concentration. "It is impossible to predict," he said,
his tone distant, bleached free of emotion. "Sometimes he stays for a few
minutes. Once for nearly a day. Laborer Kollberg comes and goes at his own
pleasure; what may spark this pleasure is not only unknowable, but repellent to
speculate upon."
"Are
you making any' progress?"
He
shook his head. "No. I had expected to find the link as soon as I
established contact with her mind, but I did not. I presume that the trauma of
her mother's murder caused her to wall off that part of her consciousness, not
unlike the dissociative reaction that sometimes creates a splinter
personality."
"You
knew," she said. "You knew about the murder in advance."
"You will recall that I tried to warn you."
"Did
you try to warn her? Pallas? What did you say to her?"
"She
and Caine both understood their risk," he said, then added in a bitter
undertone, "—better, perhaps, than did I."
"What
happens if you can't find this link of yours?"
"As
I explained: the sole way we can protect this child is to make her useful to
the creature that once was Kollberg. If we fail in that, then we, too, will be
superfluous. Death follows hard upon that state, Businessman."
"There
are worse things than death," Avery said.
"Indeed,"
he agreed. "And you will likely become intimately acquainted with several
of them. I have recounted how Kollberg passes his leisure time."
Avery
looked through the window into those empty, hungry eyes; she began once more to
shiver. "Is there anything more we can be doing?"
Tan'elKoth
shrugged dispiritedly. "I can only inspect the resonances of mind that
might theoretically have produced her link to the river. You might say
that I am searching for the link, but you must understand that the mind—even
the mind of a child—is, metaphorically speaking, a very large place."
Avery
nodded toward Kollberg. "Does he understand that?" "I cannot say
what he does and does not understand."
"He
doesn't even seem human anymore," she said.
"He
is profoundly human," Tan'elKoth said. "He is humanity concentrated
and distilled: refined to its essential core. What you mean to say, I think, is
that he is no longer a man."
"You're
saying he's more than a man."
"On
the contrary. He's quite a bit less."
She
thought about that for a long time.
Later,
she asked, "And what happens once you find the link?"
Tan'elKoth
turned his gaze aside from Faith's sleeping face, and he sighed. "That, at
least, is no mystery. Life—existence itself—is a pattern of Flow; everything,
living or otherwise, is a patterning of the primodial energy of the universe.
We see things as discrete individuals only because we are trained so. All that
exists is, in the end, knots within the weave that is the universe."
Tan'elKoth's
tone remained dry and precise, but his face grew ever more grim.
"Chambaraya is, one might say, a smaller knot of mind within the
Worldmind: what the elves call T'nnalldion. Through Faith, the Bog can
get its corporate fingers into that knot, unbind it, and tie it again in their
own image."
Avery
shook her head blankly, uncomprehending. Tan'elKoth's expression was bleak as
an open grave. "They'll make of it a world like this one."
"Is
that all?" Avery asked, frowning. "You make it sound like a
catastrophe."
"It
will be an Armageddon unimaginable; it will be genocide on a scale of which
Stalin could not have dreamed."
"Wiping
out magick doesn't seem like such a bad thing."
"Businessman,"
Tan'elKoth said patiently, "you don't understand. Magick has not been wiped
out on Earth; it is a function of Flow, which is the energy of existence
itself. But its state can be altered. And it has been. Once, Earth was home to
fully as many magickal creatures as was Overworld: dragons and sea serpents and
mermaids, rocs and djann and primals and stonebenders and all. But creatures such
as these require higher levels of certain frequencies of Flow than does
humanity; as the pattern of Earth degraded, these creatures not only died, but
their very bones gave up their integrity. They vanished into the background
Flow of your universe."
"You're
saying magick works on Earth?" Avery said skeptically.
"Magick
works, as you say, everywhere. But the manner in which magick works on
Earth is a local aberration; the physics of this planet and its spatial
surrounds have been altered to conditions that favor the ascendance of
humanity."
"And
what's wrong with that?"
"I
did not say it was wrong. I do not debate morality. In my zeal to protect my
Children, I once favored such a fate for my own world. But it is unnatural. It
is both the cause and the result of the ugly twisting of human nature that we
see around us, and of the society in which you force yourselves to live."
"Earth's
not so bad—"
"How
would you know?" Tan'elKoth said acidly. "It is only in these past
few days that you have had contact with the actual realities of Earth. Are you
having fun?" He waved toward the window, where Kollberg now had one
hand openly kneading his groin while he leaned one cheek and the side of his
open mouth against the glass. Avery flinched and looked away.
She
hugged herself more tightly. "I don't understand. If you hate what they're
going to do, why are you helping them?"
"I
am not helping them!" Suddenly he was on his feet, towering over
her, shaking an enormous fist. "I am helping you. I am helping Faith.
I am ..." The passion drained out of him as swiftly as it had arisen.
He let his fist open and fall limp against his thigh. "I am trying to go
home."
Outside
the window, Kollberg panted like an overheated dog.
"Well,"
Avery said finally. "I'm afraid you're out of luck"
"How
do you mean?"
She
shook her head. "You're such a man, Professional. That's why you
can't find this link of yours."
"I
do not understand."
"Of
course you don't. That's what I mean: You're a man. You think this link is with
the river. It wasn't. Faith spoke of it, in the car on our way back to Boston
when I first picked her up. She was quite clear about it. Her link was never
with the river. It was with her mother."
"Her
mother-?"
"Her
dead mother, now."
Tan'elKoth's
eyes narrowed. "I have been a fool," he said. He spun and
seated himself once again at Faith's side, bending over her with redoubled
energy. "Power," he murmured. "All that is required is a usable
source of power—"
"What
are you doing? She's dead, Tan'elKoth. There is no link."
"Dead,
yes—but the pattern of her consciousness persists, even as
your son's does within me. It was trapped at the instant of her passing.
It is powerless, yes—having no body to inform it with will. It is analogous to
a computer program stored on disk, you might say: a structure of information
that requires only a computer on which to run, and the necessary power to
activate."
"What
kind of power?"
From
the doorway behind her, the soulless rasp of Arturo Kollberg said, "My
kind of power."
During
his years of walking the world, the crooked knight came to find himself bemazed
within a dark and trackless wood. In this wood, all paths led equally to death.
The
crooked knight did not lose hope; he turned to various guides for help and
direction. His first guide was Youthful Dream. Later, he turned to Friendship,
then Duty, and finally Reason, but each left him more lost than had the one
before.
So
the crooked knight gave himself up for dead, and simply sat.
He
would be sitting there still, but for a breeze that came upon him then: a
breeze that smelled of wide-open spaces, of limitless skies and bright sun, of
ice and high mountains.
It
was the wind from the dark angel's wings.
FOURTEEN
A few
days before the Festival of the Assumption, a new report detonated like a
suitcase nuke in the heart of the net. Actors in Ankhana had witnessed the
riverboat arrival of a Monastic delegation, an entourage of dozens of
functionaries, and servants, and heavily armed friars with the sword-edged eyes
of combat veterans. The delegation had been met at the Industrial Park docks by
an honor guard suitable for vassal kings and the entire capital army band; the
assemblage had formed a huge parade, a processional that surrounded a large
wheeled cart drawn by four hump-backed oxen.
The
band had struck up a solemn hymn, "Justice of God," a standard of the
Church of the Beloved Children of Ma'elKoth. The parade marched north up
Rogues' Way, through the midst of the Industrial Park on its broadest
boulevard, Artisans' Angle, then south along Nobles' Way, past the makeshift
barricades that sealed the smoldering ruins of Alientown, across the rebuilt
Knights' Bridge into Old Town, and on down Nobles' Way to the South Bank, west
the length of Dukes' Street and north along Rogues' Way once again, crossing
onto Old Town before turning east along the grand central artery of Gods' Way.
The
entire circumference of this rough spiral was lined with cheering, jeering,
hooting crowds, drawn by the thundering music and the triumphant proclamations
of the heralds that preceded the parade, trumpeting the announcement of the
capture of the Enemy of God.
On
the cart was a tall platform; on the platform was chained a medium-sized, rather
unremarkable-looking man with dark hair and a ragged tenday's growth of black
beard. By midnight, nearly everyone on Earth had heard the news.
Caine
was alive.
2
His
Radiant Holiness Toa-Sytell, Patriarch of Ankhana and faithful Steward of the
Empire, leaned on the chill stone of the windowsill and stared at the eastward
sweep of Gods' Way. With the sun westering toward twilight, the shadowy room
had grown cool. Only the lightest brush of autumnal ochre warmed the top of the
Sen-Dannalin Wall, but the gold-leafed spires of the neighboring Temple of the
Katherisi blazed like bonfires; Toa-Sytell shaded his eyes against the glare.
An
occasional wind-shift brought twists of smoke past this window: smoke from
buildings that still smoldered in Alientown. The Patriarch hated that smoke. It
seemed to fill his head in choking billows that strangled his thoughts. And
below the ruins of Allentown, the fighting still continued.
Thinking
about it made him queasy. He had been troubled in both stomach and head of late,
as though he had become the city that he ruled, and the conflict had given him
fever. He was acutely, almost painfully aware of the fighting that might be
going on now, in the caverns below the city—below, perhaps, the palace itself.
Even after these several days of what the army had begun to call the Caverns
War, he couldn't get used to it. It made the earth itself seem unsteady,
temporary, dangerously frangible, as though any street where he walked was only
a soap bubble, decaying in the sunlight, and at any second it might vanish and
he would fall, and fall, and fall.
So he
no longer left the palace.
Down
on Gods' Way, an avenue so broad it was almost a plaza, the people of Ankhana
crowded shoulder to shoulder in bright festival colors, a tightly woven carpet
of knobbled heads and hats and hair planed almost smooth by range and
elevation. No sign yet of the triumphal procession that brought Caine in public
disgrace to the Donjon—but faintly to the Patriarch's ear came the
distance-thinned strains of "Justice of God," and he allowed himself
a slim smile as chill as the stone on which he leaned.
Three
respectful paces behind Toa-Sytell's left shoulder, His Grace the Honorable
Toa-M'Jest, Duke of Public Order, coughed into his fist.
"Join
me here, M'Jest," Toa-Sytell said informally. "He should be arriving
soon. Don't you want to watch?"
"If
it's all the same to you, Radiance—"
"It
isn't. Join me."
Toa-M'Jest
ducked his head and surreptitiously mopped sweat from his brow with his sleeve;
the Patriarch pretended that he did not see. When the Duke came to the window,
the Patriarch could smell him—a sour, slightly rank sweat smell, with a taint
of the outhouse to it that cut through the Duke's expensive perfume.
Toa-M'Jest took the Patriarch's casually offered hand; the Duke's fingers were
clammy, chill like raw meat off a butcher's iceblock, and they trembled, ever
so slightly.
While
the Duke lowered dry lips to his master's fingers, the Patriarch stared into
the empty distance above Ankhana's towers. "Seven years ago next tenday, I
stood at this very window with the Count—shortly thereafter Saint—Berne,"
he mused. "Then, too, we watched for sight of Caine approaching along
Gods' Way. Then, too, we thought he had been taken, chained, rendered harmless."
The
Patriarch took the Duke's chin in his hand and raised it so that their eyes
could meet. "Then, too," he said, "we did not learn how wrong we
were until far too late."
Toa-M'Jest
swallowed. "I don't know what you mean, Holiness."
"Of
course you do. Don't be an ass." The Patriarch sighed. "I know that
you once counted Caine your friend—that you even go so far, privately, as to
credit him for your current position. I know that you will be inclined to aid
him. I tell you plainly, Toa-M'Jest: This inclination may cost your life."
"Radiance—"
The
Patriarch waved the objection aside; Toa-M'Jest could have nothing of interest
to say on the subject. "How goes the mopping up?"
The
Duke took a breath to gather his wits. "Better, Your Radiance, but still
slowly. We hold the Alientown surface from Commons' Beach to the north
shanties. I think we'll have everything locked down within a tenday."
"So
long?" the Patriarch murmured. "The Festival of the Assumption
sprints toward us, Toa-M'Jest. This situation must be resolved."
"It's
the caverns—the rock cuts off Flow," the Duke reminded him. "The
Thaumaturgics are short of griffinstones. It's bad enough, sending men down
there against ogres and trolls without magickal cover, but stonebenders? You
can't fight stonebenders in those caverns, Your Radiance. Not without
griffinstones. It's suicide."
"You
understand, do you not, that your failure to arrest Kierendal is of especial
concern now? She was once your lover; sent against her by my order, you
failed—"
The
Duke bristled. "The kind of magick those fuckers throw around?" he
snapped, relapsing into the gutter talk of his former life. "We had to
fall back. You should have seen the shit they were throwing—like goddamn Ma'elkoth,
excuse the profanity. How many soldiers did you want to lose?"
"The
circumstances of their resistance are irrelevant. Half the Alien-town Patrol
are Knights of Cant; you should have been better prepared."
"She's
not going anywhere. She'll either surrender with the rest or die where she
is."
"Nonetheless.
Your record against your former ... associates . is less than stellar,
M'Jest. We can afford no similar, mm, errors ... in dealing with
Caine."
"There
won't be any," the Duke promised grimly.
"I
understand you have already financed a private cell for him." Toa-M'Jest
settled into himself as though anticipating a blow. "Yeah."
"Perhaps you have an explanation for this which. might allay my fears ...
?"
"Isn't
it obvious?"
The
Patriarch allowed himself another thin, cold smile. "Several conflicting
explanations are, I think, equally obvious. I am curious which you will
select."
"He's
crippled," the Duke said simply. "Berne put Kosall through his spine.
The Pit's full of street scum. He wouldn't last a day down there, maybe not
even an hour—everybody'd want to be the Man Who Killed Caine. Not to mention
that most all of them are facing execution on charges—mmm, you might say dubious
charges—of Cainism. I don't think anyone'll care to stand up for him."
"I
see," the Patriarch said. "So your sole concern is to ensure that he
lives long enough to be executed."
Toa-M'Jest
turned his face toward the window, looking out over the broad parade route
below. "Yeah," he said slowly. "It's not easy to admit, y'know?
But I got a position, now; I got responsibilities. I love the guy like
my own brother, but every time he comes to town we end up in a fucking
war."
The
Patriarch's eye was caught by the scarlet flash of the afternoon sun off the
halberd blades of the Household Knights as the parade turned the corner from
Rogues' Way onto Gods' Way and began its final triumphal leg. Far, far below,
he could barely make out the limp figure on the rack above the dungcart's bed.
"Yes,"
he murmured. He ran his tongue around lips that had become dry and cracked and
hot. "Yes, we do."
3
The
Imperial Donjon of Ankhana began its existence as the final line of defense for
the river pirates who had founded the city more than a thou-sand years ago. In
those days, what would later become Ankhana was nothing more than a simple fort
of stone and a cluster of huts, enclosed by a wooden stockade wall at the west
end of the island that would later be called Old Town.
Below
the fort lay a natural cleft in the limestone that was the predominant
geological formation of the area; this cleft led far below the river itself,
into a bewildering three-dimensional tangle of caverns and passages, including
one that was a straight vertical chimney down to another river, underground,
that paralleled the Great Chambaygen above. This cleft became known satirically
as the Donjon, in the sense of stronghold, from its use as the escape
route when the fort above fell to siege.
The
Donjon's actual use as the Ankhanan civic dungeon did not begin until nearly a
hundred years after the Liberation, when Ankhana's stand against the armies of
Panchasell the Luckless and his Folk allies had assured the city's dominance
over the surrounding lands. At that time, the pirate chieftains of Ankhana had
taken to calling themselves kings; kings, are perpetually in need of secure
places in which to deposit those enemies who would be inconvenient to kill.
The
Donjon was a place of deep shadow and bad air, rank with fermenting exhalations
of decayed lungs filtered through mouthfuls of rotting teeth.
The
Pit was an already-large natural cavern that had been enlarged and altered over
the years, first crudely—by inexpert human engineers—and later with astonishing
skill by teams of convict stonebenders. By the morning on which Hari
Michaelson, the man who had once been Caine, was carried down the stairs from
the Courthouse, the Pit was fully forty meters across, ringed by an overhanging
balcony cut from the stone ten meters above the floor. A single stairbridge,
hinged to the balcony, could be lowered on winched chains to deliver new
prisoners to the Pit floor. The prisoners' daily rations were lowered by hand
in cheaply woven baskets, and eaten without the benefit of utensils.
Newer
features included a tic-tac-toe square of plank-floored catwalks crisscrossing
the Pit at the same ten-meter height as the balcony, suspended from the arched
stone ceiling by heavy chains. On chains as well were five enormous brass
lamps—each the size of a washtub, with a wick as thick as a man's arm—that
provided the constant light. They burned without interruption, their oil
replenished and wicks replaced as necessary by the crossbow-armed Donjon guards
who paced the catwalks.
In
the Pit, darkness would be a luxury.
In
years past, the Pit had been a temporary holding area, a pen of stone for
prisoners awaiting trial and convicts awaiting transportation to frontier
garrisons, or to the mines of the high desert, or to the galleys of the
Ankhanan navy out of the port city of Terana.
Things
were different, now.
On
Saint Berne's Eve—slightly more than two months ago—the army and the
constabulary had begun a systematic program of mass arrests of Cainists and
Cainist sympathizers. Holding areas had been prepared to house the detained
Cainists outside the Donjon, but soon they had all been filled, many of them
with varieties of subhumans who required specially prepared cages: ogres,
trolls, treetoppers, and stonebenders, each of whom presented their own
particular difficulties as prisoners. Ogres and trolls are predatory
carnivores, enormous and incredibly strong, as well as naturally armed with
huge hooked tusks and steel-hard talons; treetoppers are tiny, hardly larger
than birds, and not only can they fly, but they have the inborn thaumaturgic
ability to Cloak themselves, which can render them effectively invisible;
stonebenders are able to shift and shape stone, metal, and earth with their
bare hands. Not that all or even most of these subhumans were actual Disciples
of Caine, of course; but the Empire and the Church found it expedient to
pretend that they were, so that they might all be executed in the mass
auto-da-fé planned by the Patriarch to celebrate the seventh Festival of the
Assumption of Ma'elKoth.
The
climax of the festival—the grand finale of the grandest festival, the pinnacle
of the celebration of the seventh anniversary of Ma'elKoth's transfiguration
from mortal god to Ascended Godhead in truth—would be the burning of the Enemy
of God: the Prince of Chaos himself
The
Pit was now filled with the less problematic overflow of the street sweeps:
humans, primals, and ogrilloi. Not that all or even most of these were Cainist
either; on the contrary, the majority of them were merely the sort of street
trash, thugs, and minor criminals that the constables could easily lay hands
upon and thus demonstrate to the Church their zealous prosecution of their
duties.
The
Pit could hold four hundred prisoners in something resembling comfort; perhaps
six or seven hundred in what would be called dangerous overcrowding. On the day
that the aforementioned Prince of Chaos was carried down the long, straight
stairway cut through the living rock below the Courthouse that was the Donjon's
sole entrance or exit, nearly fifteen hundred souls were crammed into this
overflowing jar of flesh. There was nowhere one could sit or stand or lie
without touching another living creature. The flesh-to-flesh contact that could
be such a comfort in the harsh chill of the outside world became a positive
horror in this damp bowl of rock, where the walls dripped with the endless
meaty condensation of living breath; the Pit was as warm and moist as the
inside of somebody else's mouth.
The
Pit's sole supply of fresh water flowed through three trenches, each a
hand-span wide; they curved out across the floor from a single source in one
wall and converged again to empty into a single sump in the opposite wall.
These trenches also served as the Pit's cloaca.
The
politics of the Pit were simple: the healthiest, strongest, most privileged of
the prisoners sat or lay nearest to the source. The internal pecking order
described a strict geographic descent from that position to the opposite end:
to those who through helplessness and timidity were forced to drink the
urine-and-shit-fouled wastewater that drained from the happier climes forty
meters upstream.
Hari
Michaelson was to be secured in a cell along one of the corridors that radiated
from the Pit balcony like spokes of a crooked wheel. Strapped to a litter,
unable to move, he lay back silently, not even turning his face to see where he
was being taken; he had been here before, and he remembered how it looked. The
smell told him everything else he could possibly have wanted to know.
The
Donjon guards who bore his litter carried it swiftly around the balcony, but
his arrival did not go unremarked. The Pit itself fell silent, as hundreds of
eyes tracked his passage; no sound could be heard above the low hush of massed
breath and the gurgle of water slithering along trenches of stone.
Rumors
of the eventual coming of the Enemy of God had whispered themselves from mouth
to mouth on twilit street corners, around low fires, and within darkened pubs
for months now. The Ascended Ma'elKoth was expected to return as well, and the
two were to meet in final battle at noon of the seventh Assumption Day, just as
their initial great conflict had occurred on the first. There were competing
rumors, too: that Caine had been no more than a man, just as Ma'elKoth had been
only a man, and that any "final battle" on Assumption Day would be merely
a dumbshow to impress the gullible masses, a parable of Good versus Evil played
out by mummers in Church employ; these rumors were popularly dismissed as
Cainist propaganda.
Newer
tales had been told, too, of the capture of Caine by the heroic friar Raithe of
Ankhana. Raithe, it was said, had conjured the spirit of Saint Berne to sustain
him in pitched battle against the Prince of Chaos and his whore-consort, the Aktir
Queen once known as Pallas Ril. The epic battle had been fought from peak
to peak in the distant mountains of the God's Teeth: the Aktiri legions
had attacked with weapons of lightning and flame, against which the small band
of friars led by young Raithe could set only their strength of purpose, their
purity of heart, and their faith in the justice of Ma'elKoth.
It
was told that the Aktir Queen had been slain in that battle by Raithe
himself, even as Jereth Godslaughterer had been slain by Jhantho the Founder at
Pirichanthe; it was told that the touch of Raithe's hand had reopened the wound
of the Holy Stroke upon the Enemy of God, and that the Caine who approached
Ankhana in chains was no more than a broken cripple. It was told that the
Patriarch himself considered already the question of Raithe's possible
sainthood.
Among
the hundreds of pairs of eyes that tracked the litter's progress around the
balcony were those of a former member of the Monastic diplomatic delegation to
the Infinite Court: t'Passe of Narnen Hill, onetime Vice Ambassador to Damon of
Jhanthogen Bluff. T'Passe was a thick-bodied, plain-faced woman whose eyes held
a curiously unchanging expression, both manic and contemplative at once.
She
had been among the very first of the Cainists to be arrested, at the embassy
itself, on Saint Berne's Eve. Only a few days later, all the Monastics who had
been arrested were officially freed; their status as diplomatic delegates of a
sovereign nation demanded it. No fuss came from the Church over this; neither
the Church nor the Empire had ever intended the detained Monastics to be imprisoned
long enough to require a Monastic response.
T'Passe,
however, had refused to leave the Donjon. Threatened with forcible ejection by
the civil authorities—to avoid a confrontation with the Monasteries—she had
resigned her post on the spot. She would have surrendered her Monastic
citizenship as well, had not Acting Ambassador Damon assured her that the
Monasteries would make no special effort to have her freed, now that she no
longer filled a diplomatic position with the embassy.
"If
to speak the truth is a crime, then I shall always be a criminal," she'd
said. Now, as she watched Caine's progress on his litter, she might have been
carved of the same rough stone as the Donjon itself.
The
first words to break the silence were a murmur from an unidentifiable mouth.
"He looks so helpless ..."
Another
soft voice said, "Maybe it's not him," probably a Cainist's, from its
hopeful tone. "It's not, huh? It can't really be him, can it?"
"It
is he," t'Passe said stolidly. "I saw Caine at the Ceremony of
Refusal after the Battle of Ceraeno.."
"But
that was, like, twenty years ago—" someone objected, and t'Passe
answered the objection with a flat shake of her head.
"I
am not mistaken."
A
hulking young ogrillo smirked around his tusks. "Kinda shoots yer whole
theology in the ass, dun it?" he asked as he coolly examined his wickedly
hooked fighting claw. Snickers came from his small circle of toadies.
"Cainism
is not theology, Orbek," t'Passe responded with her customary mild
courtesy. "It is philosophy."
"And
you can call a turd a sandwich, but it still tastes like shit, hey?"
"I
bow to your superior experience," t'Passe replied, "regarding the
flavor of shit."
The
ogrillo took this with a widened grin and a nod of the head. "Yeah,
arright," he said in a friendly enough way. "But one of this day,
this moutha yours—it gonna get busted, hey?"
"At
your convenience." T'Passe stared calmly at him until he finally shrugged,
laughed, and turned away, shouldering through the close-packed mass of
prisoners with his toadies in his wake.
After
he left, t'Passe turned once again to the conversation that Caine's arrival had
interrupted. Her interlocutor was a broad-shouldered fey, tall for his folk,
who was folded into a sitting position beside one of the water trenches. One of
his thighs looked subtly wrong, as though something malign grew within, and the
shin of the other leg was knobbed a few inches below the knee, as though it had
been broken and never properly healed.
He
clasped his knees to his chest and looked up at the former Vice Ambassador with
great golden eyes, their vertically slit pupils spread wide in the murk of the
Pit. Despite the eyes, despite the thick brush of platinum-colored hair that
stood stiffly out from his scalp to the length of the first joint of his finger,
he did not look entirely elvish; his face had been scoured into a map of age, a
contoured terrain of harsh living, until he looked almost human—almost like a
man fast approaching his fiftieth birthday. "Why do you bait him like
that?" said the elf who looked like a man. "What do you get out of
it?"
"My
desires are of no concern to you, unless they either coincide with or conflict
with your own," she said severely; then she shrugged and hunkered down
beside him. She lowered her voice and kept her face near his, so that they
could converse softly through the constant general buzz of voices around them.
"That is the dogma, at least. In truth, I enjoy the banter. It's a verbal
display of dominance; you may have noticed that I am an intellectual bully."
"There
is dogma? Cainist dogma?" the man-elf asked. "How can there be
Cainist dogma?"
"Dogma
in the sense of a set of shared premises, from which we reason. But you
are avoiding the subject, Deliann. We were talking about what you want."
"I
know," Deliann sighed. "That's just the problem."
"You
must want something ..."
"I
want a lot of things." He lifted one shoulder, dropped it again. "I
want my brother to be alive. I want my father to be alive. I want—" She
raised a hand. "You can't wring the bell, Deliann."
"Yes,"
he said. "I've heard that."
"The
question is not what you hope might happen, or what you wish had happened
differently. Tell me what you want to do."
He
lowered his face to his knees. "What I want doesn't matter," he said,
his voice half muffled by his legs. "You're wasting your time with me,
t'Passe. Ask a dying man what he wants, he'll tell you he wants to live. You
say, `Oh, sorry. What's your second choice?' " He made a twitching gesture
with his head, as though he wiped his eyes against the scraps of his trousers.
"I'm just sitting here waiting to die."
"We
can each sit and wait to die, from the very day of our births. Those of us who
do not do so, choose to ask—and to answer—the two questions that define every
conscious creature: What do I want? and What will I do to get it? Which
are, finally, only one question: What is my will? Caine teaches us that
the answer is always found within our own experience; our lives provide the
structure of the question, and a properly phrased question contains its own
answer."
"I
need you to leave me alone, t'Passe," Deliann said, his mouth pressed to
his knees as though he would gnaw his own flesh. "I can't .. . talk about
this right now. Please."
She
rocked back on her heels, her mouth a thin horizontal line; then she nodded.
"Perhaps we can take this up again later, when you're feeling
better."
"Yes,"
Deliann said. "Maybe later."
She
could hear in his voice that he did not expect her to live that long.
4
Deliann
lifted his head as t'Passe delicately stepped from bit to bit of open floor,
her broad back stiffly erect, her shoulders square as cut stone. Most of the
prisoners in the Pit passed their days sitting or lying down; he could follow
her with his eyes until she found a place to squat, among a knot of fellow
Cainists beneath one of the hanging lamps.
Deliann
had flashed on her when they had first met, shortly after he had been prodded
down the stairbridge by the bluntly insistent business end of a Donjon
guard's iron-bound club. His flash had shown him more than he wanted to know of
her.
He
had learned how it felt to have been a girl of plain, square face, a teenager
with a sturdy, strictly functional body as graceless as a mallet, but cursed
with a nature as sensitive as her mind was sharp. He had learned how it felt to
use a bitter tongue to turn men aside before she could even look for any spark
of interest in their eyes. Before she could be wounded by its absence.
He
had learned how it felt to turn to the Monasteries, because she'd believed they
were a different world, a separate reality where mind counted above beauty,
scholarship above flattery—and how it felt to age slowly in a minor diplomatic
post, while smaller, duller minds, those more facile with hypocrisy, those that
chanced to inhabit more attractive bodies, received promotion and honor that
should have been hers.
He
had seen how it felt to devote one's entire life to the Future of a Humanity
one has discovered, too late, that one despises.
Cainism
answered needs she'd never even known she had. As a philosophy, it was elitist,
radically individualistic; such a brilliant woman, who had taken such bitter
disappointment from every form of society, could not possibly resist, Perhaps
Cainism was purely a philosophy, as she constantly reminded everyone in the
Pit—but for her, it was theology, too.
She
needed it to be true.
When
he had asked her, shortly after she had begun her explication of Cainist
philosophy, the most obvious question, "What if everyone behaved that way?
What if everyone just made up their own rules as they went along?" she had
only shaken her head sadly.
"What
if everyone could shoot lightning bolts from their arses?" she'd
countered. "It's a specious question; very few people are capable of
behaving this way. It's like asking, What if everyone had perfect pitch? Or an
eidetic memory? The capacity for personal freedom is a rare talent. Talents
exist to be used. We do not ask the sheep to be wolves; we, the wolves, do not
ask ourselves to be sheep. Sheep can make such rules as happen to suit them—but
it's foolishly naive to expect wolves to obey."
And
in the name of this gospel of freedom, she had imprisoned herself; in the name
of "living life honestly," she would go to her death. It was, he
supposed, the only way she could make herself feel special.
Deliann
trailed his fingers in the befouled water that trickled along the trench beside
him. He could not discuss Cainism with t'Passe; he had known what he wanted,
and had done everything he could think of to make it happen. The outcome had
been, would be, unimaginably hideous death on a scale this world had never
seen.
Whenever
Deliann looked up, all he could see was a roomful of corpses.
There's
where your whole system breaks down, t'Passe. In this room, we're all dead.
Free or slave, hero or victim—dead is still dead.
When
he brought his damp fingers to his lips, he could smell the urine and feces
that stained the water. He was desperately, bitterly thirsty, but he couldn't
summon the energy to come to his feet and struggle through the mass of
prisoners toward the cleaner water near the source. When he got there, the
group of Serpents members of a Warrengang who had taken over that prime real
estate—would make him beg on his knees for a drink of pure water. Or worse:
begging was innocuous enough that most of the prisoners no longer minded, and
the Serpents seemed to have gotten bored with such petty, everyday
humiliations.
No
chance of help from above; the Donjon guards left the Pit entirely alone, so
long as nothing reached the point of open riot. Even murder was tolerated
roughly once a day, the stairbridge would come clanking down and a team of
litter-bearing guards would descend, covered by crossbows from above, to clear
away the accumulated corpses. Not that most of these died by violence—disease
and malnutrition were the prime killers in the Pit—but the guards made no
distinction for cause of death. Starved or strangled, a corpse was a corpse.
In
the past day or so, the price of water seemed to have risen from begging to the
kissing of bared asses; an hour or so ago, a desperate woman had given one of
the Serpents oral sex in exchange for a single drink. Deliann had turned away,
sickened; he hadn't had the courage to look back since. He couldn't face
whatever the current asking price was going to be.
He
let his fingers trail in the water beside him once more, as though he could
soak enough moisture through his skin to take the edge off his bitter thirst.
Those Serpents, it seemed to him, were a clear example of what Cainism really
was: they had the power to make their own rules, and look what they did with
it.
On
the other hand, he seemed to hear
t'Passe's voice whisper in his ear, Cainism also says that you can fight
them, if you choose. Might doesn't make right; this isn't a question of right;
it's a question of what you want to do.
And
what did he want to do? Everyone kept asking him that, just as though it
were important.
5
My
cell is just down one of the corridors that radiate off the Pit. They keep a
lamp in here, but I can't light it; it's on the little writing desk across
the room from my cot, and I don't have the energy to drag my dead legs
over there. Besides, enough dull orange glow trickles through the window
vent in the the door—leakover from the big brass lamps that light the Pit—that
I can see better than I really want to, anyway.
I am
haunted by that statue of me Tan'elKoth made, his David the King. I can
see every sagging line of its jowl, every defeated droop of the bags under its
eyes. A calculated, deliberate insult: he used my image for an icon of
comfortable failure. The slow slipping-down life of a finally insignificant
man.
If
only I could have understood .
He
knew better than I did, all along.
I
would give anything if I could be that insignificant, comfortably failed man
one more time.
That
image wasn't an insult. It was advice.
It
was, You have better than you deserve. Be grateful, and don't rock the
fucking boat.
6
Day and
night have no meaning in the Pit. New prisoners were shoved down the bridge now
and then; occasionally guards would descend to remove corpses and those who
would soon be corpses. For a long time, the only benchmark had been the arrival
of Caine. They'd been fed a few times since then, but Deliann found he couldn't
remember if the food baskets had been lowered four times, or six . . . or two
.. .
His
fever worsened. He'd thought he was getting better for his first few days in
the Pit, but that was only because the forced inactivity had taken the edge off
his exhaustion. Deliann slept when he could no longer keep his eyes open, and
he woke when jostled or kicked.
Though
he was well downstream of the Pit's midpoint, and he no longer risked the
brutally whimsical Serpents who guarded the source of clean water, he'd managed
to keep his thirst mostly at bay; he'd found that by sniffing fingers he'd
trailed in the water trench, he could tell when the incoming flow was
relatively free of the shit of upstream prisoners, and he would then risk a
swallow or two. He imagined that he was exposing himself to infections that
could range from hepatitis to cholera, but he couldn't make himself care.
During
most of his waking hours, he passed the time by listening to t'Passe and her
growing band of Cainists proselytize the other prisoners and argue with each
other; there were almost as many different interpretations of Cainism as there
were Cainists. T'Passe's position seemed to carry a certain authority,
though; her fierce intellect was supported by an extremely penetrating voice
and an aggressive temper, and few dared to argue with her.
She
would from time to time cast a glance in Deliann's direction, implicitly asking
permission to approach him once more; he rarely met her eyes. Like right now:
someone objected that the goal of Cainism was mere anarchy, and she stared
directly at Deliann as she answered. "Cainism is not anarchy, but
autarchy," she said. "Not the absence of rule, but self-rule."
"It's
the same thing."
"It
may appear so," t'Passe allowed serenely, "if you think of Cainism as
advocating autarchy; but we do not. We do not advocate, we merely
de-scribe. Autarchy is simple fact. Every day, every thinking creature decides
which rules to follow, and which to break. Our reasons for following or
breaking these rules may be wildly different, but the fact of choice is identical.
Perhaps the only difference between a Cainist and anyone else is that we make
these choices consciously, instead of allowing habit to guide us along with the
herd. The elKothan Church says: Obey. Love each other. Serve the good of your
neighbor. Do not lie. Do not steal. Do not kill.
"It
is certainly possible for a Cainist to be a faithful elKothan, and a `good
person' by the standards of the Church—the only difference being that the
Cainist is aware he is making a choice. He does not obey Ma'elKoth or His
Church, he obeys himself."
T'Passe
spread her hands, and from across the Pit offered Deliann a gently knowing
smile. "You might say that the real key to Cainism is nothing more than
paying attention."
7
Lying
in the cell, staring at the rock above my cot
My
legs rotting like week-old hamburger
Coughing
up blood
And
the worst part is that I can still hear that fucker yapping about Cainism.
I
can't tell if this particular fucker is a man or a woman or something roughly
in between; all I know is, this fucker has a voice that can chip my goddamn
teeth. All the fleshy jabber from the Pit, all the muttering and grunting and
farting and the occasional scream, this voice slices through like a knife, but
I'm the bone.
If
there's anything that hurts worse than steel on bone, I don't want to know
about it. It's a pain so intense you can't even feel it at first; it's a
sear ing numbness, a shivering empty shock that ripples along your nerves
and turns your body to jelly. That's what this fucker is doing to me, every
time I hear that goddamn voice remind somebody that Cainism is not theology,
but philosophy.
I got
some philosophy for that fucker, and plenty of it: the trusty hasn't been
around to empty my bedpans in two days.
Jesus,
it stinks in here.
Isn't
your nose supposed to numb out after a while? Mine did before, waking up in bed
with the goddamn spinal bypass fritzed out, not being able to smell whether I'd
crapped the sheets. But this place smells like a slaughterhouse.
Some
of the burns on my legs have gone necrotic, soppy with greyish goo. That's
gonna be a pretty good joke on Raithe and the Church, if gangrene kills me
before the execution. And it might not be gangrene that kills me, the way I've
been coughing; I was bringing up a lot of bloody snot for a few days, but now I
just keep coughing and nothing much comes out. I'm guessing it's chemical
pneumonia from breathing the smoke from whatever that incendiary dust was.
I
don't really mind any of this. It just means that I'm gonna die pretty soon,
and I'm all for it. It's the only thing I've been looking forward to since they
murdered Shanna.
But
for for some reason I keep on living, and I don't know why.
It's
not that hard to kill yourself, even for a paraplegic. I've got plenty of
strength left in my arms and hands; it'd be easy enough to tear this sheet into
strips and braid them into a reasonable facsimile of rope. The inside of the
bronze-bound wooden door that seals my cell has a couple of age-warps gapping
the timbers that an experienced climber could wedge his fingers into, to pull
himself up high enough to slip a rope around one of the bars in the small
window vent. Then when I tie the rope around my neck, I can haul myself up,
hold my breath long enough to tie off the rope—then I'll strangle fast enough
that I probably won't even have time to change my mind.
But I
don't do it. I can't.
I
can't seem to make myself give up.
Oh, I
can come close enough—I can make myself lie here and do nothing but smell the
goo from my festering wounds; I can make myself stare emptily at the trusty
when he comes to exchange my uneaten dinner for a fresh meal that I will also
not eat; I can lie in my own filth and remorselessly enumerate all the multiple
uselessnesses of my existence.
I can
hate myself, and the world, and everything in it.
But
in the end, Shanna's still dead and I'm still alive, still locked alone in this
stone box, still lying on this goddamn cot, still listening to that fucker in
the Pit yap about the "core of all freedom."
"It's
that voice, the quiet inner whisper of intransigence, that anyone can hear if
one listens hard enough. It's the voice that whispers My will, or I won't. That
is the voice of the Caine Within: it is not the Caine's voice, but it is the
voice of that small part of each of us that is the Caine."
Does
this fucker have any idea what an idiot he is?
Tyshalle,
if my prayer swings any weight with you at all, kill that yappy sonofabitch.
Hurt him some, first.
But
despite my prayers, he keeps talking and I can't stop listening.
You
could work a thousand years and never come up with a more perfect hell.
8
Deliann
opened his eyes when the shouting started, and he managed to lever his aching
back far enough off the stone to see that the guards were lowering food baskets
from the catwalk again. He had some impression that it had been a long time
since the last feeding, and his stomach confirmed this hypothesis with an unhappy
snarl.
The
healthiest and strongest of the prisoners had already mobbed the baskets.
Deliann stayed on the floor; he wasn't at all sure that he'd be able to walk
that far. The rock of the Donjon impedes Flow, and his degrading health made
mindview difficult. He was no longer able to suppress the infection within the
meat of his thigh, and the constant pain wore on him even more than his gnawing
hunger did.
The
only other prisoners who did not scramble for food were those too weak to do
so—and, of course, the Serpents who guarded the water source. This enterprising
group had found that there were plenty of prisoners who would enthusiastically
serve their every whim in exchange for more frequent drinks of the cleanest
water; the Serpents had taken to letting these volunteers compete with each
other for this privilege. Those who offered the largest and most appetizing
morsels from the food baskets got the longest and deepest drinks of water. A
particularly choice hunk of sausage, and the Serpents might even allow the
supplicant to wash himself—an almost unimaginable luxury. The Serpents never
had any shortage of eager auxiliaries.
Often,
now, the only way to get more than just a mouthful of food was to fight for it.
Deliann
also feared that if he did manage to struggle over in time to grab a bite
or two before everything was gone, he might return to find someone had taken
his spot beside the water trench. Reasoning that, on balance, dying of thirst
would be swifter and uglier than starvation, he lay back down on the cold damp
stone and closed his eyes.
Some
undefinable time later, a soft voice at his side spoke his name.
He
opened his eyes. T'Passe stood beside him, a fist-sized crust of bread in one
hand and a chunk of hard cheese in the other. "Here," she said,
offering him both. "Can I buy the chance to talk with you?"
Deliann
sighed and struggled into a sitting position. He bent his neck to look up at
her; she was perceptibly thinner now, as though the Donjon carved away her
flesh, but her eyes gleamed even brighter. She had been having more than a
little success in her evangelizing of the other prisoners; she had a sizable
following now the Cainists were almost as numerous as the Serpents, and Deliann
more than half expected to see a power struggle develop between the two groups
for control of the Pit—but she had never given up on her attempts to win him
over.
"What
is it about me, t'Passe?" he asked slowly. "Why am I so important to
you?"
She
squatted beside him and placed the bread and cheese in his lap. "I don't
know," she said. "You're so profoundly unhappy ... I think
there's something wrong with the world, that a person like you should be in so
much pain."
"And
you want to use food to bribe me to cheer up," he said, smiling wistfully
at the recollection of scrambled eggs at the stall on Moriandar Street.
"You know what? That's how I got into this place." A strengthless
wave of his hand indicated the Pit. "I let somebody cheer me up."
9
And I
sleep and wake and sleep again, my bedpan is emptied and I refill it, and still
that fucker in the Pit just never seems to shut up. "Consider, for a
moment, the lazy blacksmith: In shoeing a horse for a stranger, he finds that
he is one nail short. Rather than trouble to make another, he leaves the last
shoe without its last nail. Is his laziness good, or is it evil?
"Then
follows the rhyme that we all know:
For
want of the nail, the shoe was lost,
For
want of the shoe, the horse was lost,
For
want of the horse, the rider was lost,
For want
of the rider, the battle was lost,
For
want of the battle, the kingdom was lost.
"His
laziness was evil, then, unless—for the sake of argument—the stranger is not a
courier of his own king, but a spy of the enemy; so that the kingdom which was
lost is the enemy kingdom. Then, to have done a `good' job might have
cost this blacksmith and his people all they have, perhaps even their lives.
"The
lesson here is this: The consequence of even the simplest action cannot be
reliably predicted over any long term. One cannot control how events
unfold, and whether any action is `good' or `evil' can only be judged in terms
of its consequence—and even that judgment will alter, over time. An action
initially judged to be `good' may later be found to have `evil' effects—which
eventually may be seen, in fact, to be `good: Good and evil are,
after all, only code words for outcomes we either favor, or of which we
disapprove. We all must accept that anything we do, however `good' it
seems at the time, might have consequences that will be too horrible to
contemplate.
"What
then, is the answer? To do nothing? But even inaction has consequences. The
essence of Cainism is this: The truly free man chooses his own goals and seeks
his own ends, purely for the joy of the choice and the seeking."
And
this is the one that I can't get out of my head. I can lie here for hours and
argue with my memory of that voice, but I go to sleep hearing it, and I hear it
when I wake up, and I guess I'm not really registering it as meaning anymore.
It's
soaked in, somewhere. I've sucked it in through my pores, and I can't sweat it
out. I stare at the ceiling for a day or two, counting the cracks in the stone
by the unchanging glow from the Pit lamps.
I
will go to my grave with the vision of her bright eyes staring, washed clean by
the spray from that waterfall at the headwaters of the Great Chambaygen, the
blade of Kosall driven through her skull down into the stone beneath her head—I
did the right thing, and it came out wrong, and I should have known better.
But I
didn't.
I
once murdered an old man—the Khulan G'thar—and saved maybe a million lives,
when the Khulan Horde collapsed at Ceraeno. Later, I murdered another old
man—Prince-Regent Toa-Phelathon—and turned a series of minor border skirmishes
with Lipke into the First Succession War.
And
maybe that fucker down there in the Pit is right. Maybe there's no telling
which way shit will break. If I listen hard enough, I can hear that voice: that
small quiet whisper in the back of my head that keeps on insisting My
will, or I won't. But the fucker in the Pit is dead wrong about it: it is
Caine's voice.
It's
my voice.
I
keep thinking about the Assumption Day Festival. I keep thinking about how
they're gonna wheel me over to the Cathedral of the Assumption in that tumbrel
of theirs, then put me up on a pyre and burn me to death to amuse a few
thousand Beloved Children.
I am
so tired of my life and death being somebody else's entertainment.
And,
that simply, my mind is made up.
Up
there at Khryl's Saddle, it took me too long to realize I should have killed
myself. That's a mistake I won't make twice. Suicide isn't my trip—but there
are other ways to die.
I get
the jitters, waiting. By the time the trusty comes again, swinging wide the
door of my cell, shuffling in with lowered head to empty my brimming bedpans
into his tumbrel, I have to cough the tremors out of my voice before I can
speak to him.
"Tell
the sergeant—Habrak, is that his name?-you tell him Caine wants to see the Duke
of Public Order."
The
trusty's eyes roll at me, wondering just how mad I am.
"You
tell him, that's all. Tell him to get a message to Toa-M'Jest that Caine wants
to see him. The Duke will make it worth his while. And yours, too."
The
trusty's head bobs, once, and he wheels his tumbrel away down the hall.
Fuck
being helpless.
There's
nothing I can do from the inside of this goddamn cell. But get me out in the
Pit, out there among the criminals, malcontents, and troublemakers, and I will
show them something I can do.
I will
rip the head off their precious Assumption Day, and I will shit down its
fucking neck.
I0
Deliann
could tell something important was about to happen from the way the Donjon
guards were turning up the lamps.
He
folded his arms behind his head and watched as a little group of them went from
lamp to lamp around the tic-tac-toe square of the overhead catwalks. One of the
group had a pole with a little Y -hand on the end; he'd catch the lamp chain in
the Y and use the pole to push the lamp over to where another guard could grab
it by the big brass handles that were welded in a ring around each lamp's
barrel. A third guard would use a snuffer the size of a helmet to douse the
flame, then he'd use his knife, inserted flatwise through the grey
arm-thick hawser that served as a wick, to pull the wick farther out through
the green-scaled brass lamp mouth, to make it burn higher and cast more light.
His
fever had surged lately, and he rode its waves, drowsing and waking and
drowsing again through dreams of deserts and ovens, summer noons and
slow-twisting flame, and he fancied in a vaguely amused way that each
time they relit one of the big brass lamps, the Donjon guards were turning up
the heat inside his head.
For a
time he lay on his back, staring up at the lamps, reflecting upon fire: light
and heat, safety and destruction. He'd always had a gift for flame; it was the
core of his magickal skill. He could do things with fire that an ordinary
mortal could barely imagine. He thought now that perhaps fire was the central
metaphor of his existence—like fire itself, he had been a perfectly faithful
servant, but once set free of his master's control, he'd burned down the world
He
never did learn what the something important was; by the time the
balcony and catwalks filled with crossbow-armed guards and the sergeant roared
for the prisoners to rise at the entry of His Grace Toa-M'Jest, Duke of Public
Order—and had the guards shoot one prisoner who appeared prepared to insult His
Grace by remaining seated—Deliann was fast asleep upon the stone, his recumbent
form screened from view by the close knot of Cainists that t'Passe had gathered
around him.
Deliann
never saw the Duke; he was dreaming of fire.
II
Majesty
comes through the door of my cell like a fox with hounds baying inside his
head. He shifts inside his clothes like something's crawling on his skin, and
he licks sweat from his upper lip. These past few years have been hard on him:
He's gained a lot of weight, but his cheeks sag anyway and the flesh under his
eyes is dark. His hairline has retreated somewhere north of the White Desert. A
couple Eyes of God officers flank him.
"Caine,
I have come here out of respect for the fact that you once saved my life,"
he says, the second finger of his right hand scratching the corner of his
mouth. "But we are not friends, and you can expect no consideration from
me. When you turned against Our Lord Ma'elKoth, you sacrificed our friendship
as well."
The
finger-scratch at the corner of his mouth is part of the Quiet Cant, the
gestural code of the Warrengang he once ran. This gesture means Hostiles
present. Play along. Using the second finger means two—he's say ing
both of these Eyes of God officers are spies, and he has to play nice in front
of them.
From
his sweats and jitters, it's not too much of a stretch to figure that he's in
the early stages of HRVP—which means this bit about the officers being against
him might be nothing but a paranoid fantasy. On the other hand, Toa-Sytell used
to run the Eyes; it's also not too much of a stretch to assume that he'd have
informers among the officer corps.
"Fuck
friendship," I tell him. A slight motion brings together the tips of my
left thumb and forefinger against the blanket that covers my legs: I read
you. "I want to make a deal."
"There
is no deal you can make which will save your life," he replies, scratching
the other corner of his mouth with his left thumb: the signal for truth.
"You will die on Assumption Day, as planned."
Yeah,
well, to tell you the truth, I'm looking forward to it; the prospect of
having years and years to pick through the wreckage of my life is not a
cheerful one.
But I
will choose my death.
I
will not have my death chosen for me.
"I
can tell you lots of things," I offer. "I can tell you why people
are killing each other all over this city, and why it's gonna get
a lot worse. I can tell you what you can do about it."
Now
that thumb that had just scratched his mouth taps the same spot twice: Truth?
I
just stare at him. Let him fucking wonder.
"And
what do you want for this information?"
I
take a deep breath and lace my fingers together on the pretext of cracking my
knuckles. "I want to go out the same way I came in: right past the
Pit." My thumbs are touching each other for the words I want to go, then
separated for out the same way I came, together for in, separate right
past, together the Pit.
Majesty
squints at me narrowly while he parses the interaction of signal with word: I
want to go in the Pit. His eyes bulge like overboiled eggs. "Are you
insane?"
He
recovers swiftly and gives me the I read you while he smoothly works his
reaction into our little vaudeville. "You are the Enemy of God, Caine.
It'd take an order from His Radiance himself to set you free. I can't believe
you would ask such a thing."
I
pretend to scratch my chin with my left hand, while I make the truth sign.
"Maybe you oughta go ask him, then. You got a monster shitstorm spinning
up, Majesty, and I'm the only one who can smell it."
"Toa-M'Jest,"
he corrects me absently, and glances from one Eye officer to the other like he
can't figure out what to do. They both stand at a relaxed parade rest,
pretending they're not paying attention. "How am I supposed to bring this
crap before the Patriarch?" he asks, rubbing his hands together nervously.
"You insult me, to even make the suggestion."
His
thumbs brush each other on the words insult me.
Okay,
I get the picture.
"That's
it?" I say, blinking disbelief at him. "That's what saving your worthless
ungrateful butt buys me? `Kiss off, see you in your next life?' When did you
turn into such a suckass?"
"Mind
your tone," he says frostily. "You are speaking to a Duke of the
Empire—"
"Duke
of the Empire, horseshit. I'm speaking to a fucking ass-bandit. How'd you get
Toa-Sytell's shit stains off your nose? With your tongue?" He turns red.
"Caine—" he begins, but I'm all over this.
"I
can guess how you got into the Cabinet. You think if I give that zombie-faced
cocksmoke a rimmer every night, he'll make me a Duke, too? You ever have to
play Guess What the Patriarch Had for Dinner?"
The
Eyes of God guys make noises like they're strangling, and they start toward me,
but Majesty beats them to it. He leaps forward and gathers my stained tunic in
both fists, yanking me up off the cot. "Say what you want about me,"
he snarls in my face, "but never insult the Patriarch. Never, you
understand? It is only by his leave that I could give you this cell-otherwise
you'd be in the Pit. Is that what you want?" He gives me a pretty
violent shake, then another. "Is it?"
"Your
hospitality can suck shit out of my ass—nah, sorry, don't want to ruin
your appetite before Vespers, huh?"
He
throws me back onto the cot hard enough to bounce my head against the wall and
shoot stars across my vision. "You have an unusual way of persuading a
friend to do you a favor," he says coldly. "I think I have done you
one too many already."
He
turns to one of the Eyes. "Tell the sergeant of the guard that I will pay
for this man's cell no longer. They can throw him in the Pit with the rest of
the scum."
"Hey—"
I say uncertainly, "hey, c'mon, Majesty, I was only kidding—"
"My
name is Toa-M'Jest," he says, "not that you'll have occasion
to use it again. I'll see you on Assumption Day, Caine." He does a pretty
fair military about-face and stalks out of the cell.
"Hey,
come on," I call after him pleadingly as the Eyes follow him out.
"Can't you take a fucking joke?"
They
lock the cell door and swing the bar into place.
It's
good to have friends.
I2
The
roar of the flames on Commons' Beach, in the Warrens, around Alien Games, and
on the deck of the riverbarge all converged into the purifying blaze of a
village high in the God's Teeth and fused itself with the voice of a mob, of an
army, of all the prisoners in the Pit suddenly starting to yell at once, and
Deliann discovered that he was awake.
He
rubbed at his face, trying to clear eyes that did not focus well; his skin was
hot to his touch. The prisoners around him were standing, shouting, but he
couldn't understand what they were saying. "What's happening?" he
asked thickly of no one in particular. "Why is everyone shouting?"
T'Passe
looked down when he spoke, and she squatted beside him so that she could be
heard above the shouting. "You might want to see this," she said,
waving one hand toward the balcony around the Pit while with the other she took
his arm to help him up.
Numbly,
he allowed himself to be pulled to his feet, though his legs ached fiercely to be
taking his weight once more. Where t'Passe pointed, a pair of guards pumped the
rocker arms on the winch, clanking the jointed pawls in and out of ratchet
teeth to lower the stairbridge on its long chains. Prisoners pressed aside as
its foot settled to the stone floor; at the stairtop stood a pair of grey-robed
Donjon trusties, bearing a litter on which lay a dark-haired man. "That's Caine,"
t'Passe said. Her voice hummed with astonished reverence. "That's
Caine. They're bringing him down."
Deliann
swayed, feverish; the moment oozed, gooey and labile, between the beats of his
pulse. Stung, almost blinded, rapt with a shivering perception of being present
at an event of unexplainably transcendent significance, as though he had fallen
right out of his life and landed inside an epic that no one had read for a
thousand years, he leaned on t'Passe's arm as the trusties turned and slowly
bore the litter down the stairbridge.
The
man on the litter was dark of hair and swarthy of skin, of athletic build but
no longer young: a scatter of grey marbled his ragged black beard. He lay
still, eyes closed, limp as a corpse, and the grey cotton pants that covered
his motionless legs were stained here and there with crusted blotches of brown
and red. This could not be Caine, not truly: he looked so fragile.
So
human.
The
surge of the shouting took on an ugly edge.
Deliann
swung his head from side to side in blank denial; he could not speak, could
barely think, his breath strangled by crushing déjà vu. He had seen this man
before
As
though all the tales he'd heard of Caine had solidified somehow inside his
head, so that he'd somehow known already that the Enemy of Ma'elKoth was only a
slender dark-haired man in the grip of middle age, of completely
unextraordinary appearance.
But
he hadn't .. .
In
his heart, had he ever troubled to examine it, he had carried the same icon of
Caine as had everyone else who had listened to the legend but never seen the
man: fists like steel gauntlets that can break stone with a single blow, shoulders
an axe-handle wide, muscles like boulders, eyes like torches in a cave, the
grin of a predator fed upon human blood
How
was it, then, that he could look at this man and feel that he somehow knew him?
He
breathed himself into mindview, searching for that current of black Flow of
which Kierendal had spoken. At first he could see only scarlet swirls ghosting
outward from the shouting prisoners: their mob-anger energy drifting toward the
man upon the litter. The man on the litter, impossibly, seemed to have no Shell
of his own—but those swirls of scarlet found something to latch on to around
him, some shadowy pulse in the air, a vague darkening that deepened as though
it fed upon the anger from below.
The
shadow didn't look like a Shell at all; instead of the almost gelatinous
solidity that Deliann could usually see filling the air around a living
creature, this was smoke and ghost-shade, shifting and twisting, half
imaginary, as though it were a trick of his fever-hazed eyes. With
concentration, his disciplined mind could struggle through his haze to draw it
gradually into focus . . . But as it came clear—swirls of opalescent grey and
white within the black, like a semisubstantial gemstone—the Shells of the other
prisoners, of the trusties and the guards and Deliann himself, all faded into
only a vivid memory.
Flow
is Flow: all the colors and shapes of magick are finally one single force, even
as all the shapes and colors of energy, from light to steel to the neutron-soup
of a collapsar, are finally and fundamentally energy. But even as energy can
have wildly differing properties according to its state, so, too, do the states
of Flow. The limestone from which the Donjon was carved impedes and reflects
the states of Flow used by human and primal thaumaturges, rendering them
powerless; but that rock has a Flow of its own, its own note within the song of
the Worldmind.
This
small dark broken man, it seemed, inhabited a Flow state of a different order
than that of those around him.
Deliann
stared at the currents of black Flow that surrounded this man. He had heard of
such things—had heard of men whose Shells showed black—but he had never
seen one; and even as he stared, the small dark broken man stirred and spoke to
the trusties who bore his litter. Halfway down the stairbridge, the
trusties paused.
The
angry, ugly shouting welcome of the prisoners turned to jeers, hoots, and
mocking singsong invitations: the baying of human hounds who believe they smell
fear.
Ca-aine!
Hey, Ca-aine!
Hungry,
Caine? I got something to feedja!
Lookit
them pants—wet himself already.
I
gotcher Holy Stroke right here!
Come
on, bring him down! someone shouted
at the trusties. Bring him down! and more prisoners took up the call,
and more, until their voices washed together into an oceanic roar.
Deliann
barely heard it; he was fascinated by the swirl of black Flow. It darkened
visibly around the small dark broken man until Deliann wondered if he might
have been able to see it even with his normal sight. It poured in through the
walls of the Pit as though the rock were empty air, and the small dark broken
man seemed to draw it into himself, inhaling it as though taking a deep, deep
breath of power.
He
used one hand against the litter pole at his side to lever himself up into a
sitting position, and he looked down into the jeering, hooting mob of the Pit.
And
he smiled.
"Oh,
my god," Deliann whispered. "Oh, my sweet loving god—"
It
was the smile that did it: the white teeth wolflike within the fringe of ragged
black beard, the eyes that burned with a cold dark flame like obsidian ice.
You
are just begging me to kick your fucking ass.
Yes,
in fact, I am. That's exactly right.
And
the identical grin, the identical cold dark flame within the eyes, undimmed in
a memory more than a quarter of a century old: I'm into it.
The
shock of recognition drove him right out of mindview. The instant staggering
pain from his legs unstrung him, and he sagged against t'Passe's arm.
"What's wrong, Deliann?" she asked. "What happened? Are you all
right?"
The
goddess had spoken of this man, and told Deliann that he wanted to be
remembered to him—but Deliann had never dreamed of being reminded like this. He
couldn't even make himself think the name. "That's not Caine,"
Deliann gasped. "It's not Caine."
"It
is," t'Passe assured him stolidly.
The
small dark broken man lifted his free hand as a fist and slowly, deliberately,
as though savoring the sweetness of one moment's surpassing joy, he turned the
back of his fist toward the Pit. He grinned down on the hostile mob.
And
then he gave them the finger.
There
came a second of silence, as though everyone together had drawn a single
breath, and in that silence his voice could be heard clearly: cheerfully brisk,
hard as flint and dark as burnt coffee. "Fuck you all, shitheels," he
said. "You want some of this? Step up and take a fucking bite."
Deliann
barely heard the howls that answered; that voice struck sparks within his mind,
and Deliann flashed on him.
I3
The
flash took him instantly, involuntarily: it crushed his bones between its teeth
and sucked out their marrow, shattered his skull like a nutshell, drew out his
guts with strokes of a barbed-wire tongue. Kris Hansen had written, What the
life you have chosen to lead will cost you, I can't begin to imagine.
He no
longer had to imagine.
The
flash whipped him to a day years before: it crumpled him on arena sand with a
cooling corpse beneath his back and a sword through his spine. With one hand he
took the hilt of that sword to trigger its magick, while with the other he
pulled the neck of a traitor across the blade. The traitor's head came off in
his hand, and he flipped the head like a ball into the lap of the god who knelt
alongside. The god stammered out the words Hari had died to hear, the words
that would save him and the goddess he loved-and as the prismatic haloes of the
Winston Transfer limned the edges of the world, to draw him and anyone he
touched back into hell, he reached out . . . and took that kneeling god's hand.
Why?
To
this day, Hari had never thought to wonder.
In
the answer to that simple question might be the central truth of his life.
Deliann
remembered, all those years ago, feeling that this man had been more real than
he, that the murderous, charismatic streetpunk he had known was in touch
with some fundamental structure of existence; he recalled dreaming of touching
that reality himself. Now he had: a spiral galaxy of pain and loss wheeled
within his chest.
The
flash ended in the same instant it' began. Deliann, breathless, clung to the
woman at his side. Above, the small dark broken man waved negligently at the
trusties like a noble directing bearers of a sedan chair, and they started down
the stairbridge once more.
Deliann
put his lips against t'Passe's ear to be heard through the shouts of the
prisoners. "Get me to him. Please, t'Passe," he said. "We have
to protect him—they'll tear him apart!"
She
shook her head and leaned close to shout in his ear in turn. "It's already
handled!" she said. "I have men waiting to receive the Caine at the
foot of the stairs."
"We
should go—we should be there. We have to be there," Deliann insisted.
T'Passe
cocked her head, giving him a long slow considering look before answering, more
quietly now. "And what is it that you think you can do for the Caine?
Deliann, you can barely stand."
"All
right," Deliann said, sagging. "All right, but—"
He
looked at the roof, the floor, the prisoners around them, anywhere but her.
Finally, he said, "It's not what I can do for him; it's what he can do for
me. I need to talk to him, just for a minute." He hated how desperate--how
wounded—this made him sound, but t'Passe either didn't notice or did not care.
He could not tell her: Because he once told me I was the bravest son of a
bitch he ever met. He could not tell her: Because I deserted him
twenty-seven years ago. "You keep asking me what I want. I want .. . I
need ... to talk with that man. Maybe just for a minute; I have to talk to
him."
T'Passe
squinted at him as though trying to see something tiny and dark inside his
head; then her face cleared into a sudden smile. "All right," she
said. "I wouldn't mind a word with him myself."
14
With
t'Passe to elbow her ungentle way through the press, the two of them reached the
ring of grimly jubilant Cainists who held back the other prisoners only a
moment after the trusties had ascended once again. There had been some
scuffling—a few in the crowd were already bleeding, as were a couple of the
Cainists—and the prisoners were giving them a little room, now. The trusties
had already taken the empty litter back up the stairs, and the guards above
began winching the bridge back up into place.
The
ring of Cainists parted to allow t'Passe and Deliann within.
The
small dark broken man sat on the stone, his legs splayed nervelessly
before him. He scanned the ring of Cainists around him like a wolf in the midst
of a herd of caribou; when he looked up at t'Passe, he scowled and waved
irritably at the backs of the men and women who protected him. "You the
head freak of this sideshow?"
"I
am t'Passe of Narnen Hill, formerly Vice Ambassador to the Infinite
Court," she said stolidly. "I do not know what a sideshow is, but if
I take your meaning correctly, then yes, I am the . . . head freak."
"Monastic,"
he grunted. "I knew from the way you argue: like you're teaching
half-witted kids."
"You
could hear?"
He
pulled his lips back over his teeth. "I've been praying that somebody
would kill you."
"At
the Festival of the Assumption, your prayer will be answered. Does this please
you, to have the power of your faith so amply demonstrated?"
"Ask
me then," he said, and leaned to one side, bending his neck so that he
could see around her broad body. "And who's your puppy, here? What's his
story?"
T'Passe
shifted her weight, and his gaze met Deliann's for the first time. Those black
eyes widened, then narrowed. "Well," he said. "Fuck me like a
goat."
"Hari,"
Deliann said breathlessly. Even now, he couldn't make himself believe this was
happening. "It's you, isn't it? You really are. You're Hari
Michaelson—"
A
melancholy half smile slowly developed under those narrowed eyes. "Been a
long time, Kris."
The
shouts of the prisoners had already begun to fade toward the usual undertone of
grumbling, but the roaring in Deliann's ears made up the difference. Under that
roar was a kind of slack-jawed wonder: the meeting of their eyes had
peeled back the layers of Deliann's life. It was as though the past
twenty-seven years had been only preparation, training, rehearsal, for a part
he could only flee then, but now, finally, had the strength to play.
I
can do this, he thought. At
last, I'm ready.
"Yes,"
he said finally. "Yes, it has been a long time. I'm not Kris Hansen
anymore, Hari. You should call me Deliann."
"Yeah?
Like the Mithondionne prince, huh?"
"That
would be me," Deliann said.
"You're
the Changeling Prince?" Hari shook his head, smiling as though at some
private joke.
I
suppose you could say I'm the Changeling King, Deliann thought, but he said, "Something like
that."
"No
shit? Well, all right, then."
The
small dark broken man leaned to one side, taking the weight off one hand so
that he could offer it. "Pleased to meetcha, Deliann," he said.
"I guess you can call me Caine."
"And
so: you are," Deliann murmured. "You really are, after all:
you're Caine."
Hari
shrugged, and his fingers tangled themselves in the stained cotton breeches
covering his motionless legs. He shook himself like a man holding off a
nightmare. "Yeah," he said. "I'd love to play catch-up for a
couple hours, but I got a move to make while I still have everybody's
attention. Tell me one thing."
"What
do you need to know?"
He flexed his hands and cracked his knuckles one by
one: a series of flat, deliberate clicks of lethal intent, like bullets being
loaded into a pistol. "Who do I have to kill to get a fucking drink around
here?"
There
is a cycle of tales that begins long, long ago, when the human gods decreed
that all their mortal children shall know sorrow, loss, and defeat in the
course of the lives they were given.
Now,
it came to pass that one particular man had run nearly his entire alloted span,
and he had never known defeat; for him, the only defeat was surrender. It soon
followed that the king of the human gods undertook to teach this particular man
the meaning of defeat. And in the end—the common end, for all who contend with
gods—this particular man surrendered, and died.
But
among the wise, the tale of this dead man does not end in death.
This
dead man lay unquiet in the grave; the earth's embrace could not hold him. His
corpse shifted and writhed, and moaned with the memory of life.
One
day a wanderer sought a path out from a dark and mazy wood. This wanderer
followed a wind from beyond the world, and that wind led him to this unquiet
grave. The wanderer looked upon the grave and spoke to the corpse within it,
saying: Dig deeper, and find a darker tomb.
For
the wanderer was the crooked knight, and he had learned that only by descending
can one rise.
FIFTEEN
The
Patriarch's left hand trembled ever so slightly, as the tip of its middle
finger marked a drier line through the sweat that beaded his brow. Then this
unsteady hand slid along his cheek to cup the corner of his jaw, feeling for
fever; a moment later it massaged the swollen glands in his throat.
"Is
His Radiance unwell?" the Eyes of God officer asked somewhat anxiously.
"Shall I summon a healer?"
"Not
at all," Toa-Sytell murmured. Even if he did feel ill—which he didn't, not
at all, not one little bit—he certainly wouldn't show it before this officer.
The
man could not be trusted.
"Continue
your report," he directed absently. He listened with barely half his
attention to the officer's tale of the meeting between Duke Toa-M'Jest and
Caine in the Donjon cell. A premonition muttered inside his head: a dark echo
of calamity's swift approach.
"And
the Duke defended the Patriarch's honor quite vigorously," the Eye of God
was saying.
"Of
course he did," Toa-Sytell murmured. "He always does. It's how he
thinks to deceive me."
"Your
Radiance?"
"Nothing,
Captain. Continue."
"So
the cell has been cleared, and Caine is being moved down into the Pit even as
we speak. Shall we post additional guards?"
"Mmm?
Why?"
"Well,
I—" The Eyes captain shifted uneasily. "I had understood that His
Radiance was concerned for Caine's safety."
"Me?
Oh, no, no. No. That was the Duke," Toa-Sytell said. "That was
his excuse."
"Your
Radiance, that Pit is filled with men and subs that hate him. Death will
inevitably follow—"
"Unquestionably,"
the Patriarch murmured. "But I very much doubt this death will be
Caine's."
2
It
takes all of a minute for me to get a grip on the way shit works in the Pit.
Dad
would have loved this place: a culture in a bottle. They've already cycled
through warlordism into a classic water monopoly—a real Lords of the Nile kind
of thing, with the Serpents as the ruling civil authority and this t'Passe and
her buttlickers as the fundamentalist insurgency out to reform by destabilizing
yadda yadda yadda horseshit.
And
there's a lotta goddamn Serpents down here, couple hundred at least. No
surprise: The Serpents were always the Kingdom of Cant's biggest rival. Figures
Majesty would use Toa-Sytell's Cainist-purge shit to pay off old grudges.
I
beckon to this t'Passe character. "Who's the hump?" I ask, nodding at
an ogrillo—a big bastard with fighting claws the size of kukhris—who walks
around like all he lives for is fighting and fucking and he's not particular
about which he does to who. He's carrying a lot of scars for a 'rillo pup his age,
too. Six flunkies orbit him in swaggering arcs, and he's giving me the fisheye:
he's got something to say, but he's waiting for me to give him an excuse.
"He
is called Orbek," she says. "He's become part of the Serpent
organization."
"Perfect.
Get him over here for me, will you?"
She
stiffens. "Am I your servant?" she asks with a frosty stare. I give
her a quizzical lift of the brow. "You mean you're not?"
"We
don't worship you, Caine," she says, getting that hectoring school‑
master
tone that makes me want to pop her one. "You are not a god to us, but
rather the symbol of a philosophical stance—"
"Yeah,
whatever, shut up, huh? You gonna do it, or should I ask some-body else?"
"I,
ah ..." She blinks, frowns while she tries to decide what her doctrinal purity
might require, then sighs. "I suppose . . . I'll go get him."
"Hey, thanks."
Hansen—Deliann,
whatever—watches her waddle off, and he shakes his head like he'd find this all
pretty funny if he wasn't so tired. "I don't think you've changed at all,
Hari."
If
only that were true.
I
look him over, and I have to look away. He's not easy on the eyes; some of it
is that I keep expecting to see that white plastic postsurgical mask of his,
but most of it is that the last twenty-seven years haven't done him a hell of a
lot of good. He's got a dent in his skull that's only half scabbed over—like
somebody rapped him a good one with a sword—and his hair's growing out screwy, patchy
and ragged like he's got the mange, and every time I get a glimpse of his
legs it makes me glad I'm pretty much dead below the waist.
I
wonder if it's as hard for him to look at me.
Deliann
Mithondionne, the Changeling Prince, whipass-in-residence for T'farrell
Ravenlock: a More in Sorrow Than in Anger legbreaker. He still has those sad puppy-eyes,
though; probably still tells himself that Violence is the Last Resort.
He
lowers his head like he's afraid to look at me. "The Flowmind ..." he
begins hesitantly, "... I mean, the goddess—uh, Pallas Ril—she came to me
a few days ago."
I
manage to get out a word. "Yeah?"
"She
told me that she could create a countervirus, one that would give immunity to
HRVP ..." His voice trails off hopefully, and I can't look at him because
I don't want to watch that hope go out of his eyes.
"She
could have." I bite down on the words hard enough to chip a tooth.
"If she'd lived."
"Then it's true," he says in a voice so
small he might have squeezed it out his tear ducts.
"It
usually is. That's the thing about stories. One way or another."
"There's another story," he murmurs. "About you and she, that
the two of you were—"
"Yeah,
that's right," I tell him. "Eleven years. Almost."
And I
can still taste the hot copper of her blood. I can still smell the steam that
swirled up from her severed heart.
In
his eyes, now, I can see a brutal comprehension. He whispers, "How do
you stand it?"
I
shake myself, hard. I can't let him drag me back down into my private darkness.
"I don't have to stand it," I mutter. "A few days from now,
neither of us will have to stand it anymore."
3
Now
t'Passe's coming back, with Orbek and his flunkies sauntering along behind,
kicking prisoners out of their way and generally making assholes of
themselves. The circle of guys t'Passe put around me to hold back the crowd
parts to let her through. "At your request," she says, nodding toward
Orbek.
"Swell."
I swing a hand around at the ring of Cainists. "Now tell your lapdogs to
stand down."
"Caine,"
she says with exaggerated patience, "nearly every prisoner in the Pit is
facing execution, accused of Cainism. Falsely accused. You are not, as you
might imagine, popular here. My lapdogs, as you call them, are all that
stand between you and an ugly death."
"Nothing
stands between any of us and an ugly death," I remind her. "Now fuck
off, and take your puppies with you."
Her
face ices over, and she waves to the Cainists, who reluctantly move a few paces
away. The other prisoners start to crowd around, and a lot of them are shouting
Down in front! and shit like that because people farther away want to be
able to see. Orbek has his own flunkies clear a little space around us, while
he stands there with his gorilla arms folded around his barn-sized chest
Pretty
soon things quiet down; everybody's watching. Over at the head of the water
trenches, a bunch of the Serpents stand on the bench ledge that rings the Pit,
staring and grinning.
"You
got something to say to me?" Orbek growls. He's got a trace of a Boedecken
accent, which explains the attitude. He might even be a Black Knife. Could I be
that lucky?
"Nah,"
I tell him. "I just wanted to see you up close. You look stupid enough to
be a Limp Dick"
He
takes a couple long strides and towers over me; his fighting claws swing out
over his closed fists. "I am Black Knife. My dead father is Black Knife,
from before. From when the land likes Black Knives," he snarls.
Well,
how about that? Happy birthday to me.
I
grin up into his smoldering eyes. "Tell you what, nutless: Give me a lift
over to where I can get a clean drink, and I won't hurt you."
"Hurt
me, little human?" He holds one of his fighting claws up alongside
one of his tusks, so I can see how sharp they both are. "You?"
"Hey,
Deliann," I say loudly, so that everybody in the Pit can hear me,
"maybe you don't know this: In the Boedecken ogrillo dialects, the word for
knife is the same as the word for fighting claw—which is a, y'know, a euphemism
for penis. The Black Knife clan lived out in the Waste—up until I had a
little fun with them a few years ago. By the time I got done, all the other
clans were calling them the Broken Knives clan—the Limp Dicks. That's
why most of them left the Boedecken and came to the cities. They can't get it
up."
"Hari—uh,
Caine; he says, rising uncertainly, like he's wondering if he should get
between me and Orbek. "Maybe you don't want to go into this right now ...
?"
"What,
because of dangledick here?"
"Uh,
well—"
"My
father tells me about you," Orbek begins, low and deadly.
"Fuck
your father," I suggest, then decide I should apologize. "Oh, shit,
sorry—I forgot. You can't, can you, softie?"
He
reaches down and tangles one fist in my shirt. He hauls me off the ground, my
useless legs dangling free, and brandishes his other claw in my face. "How
limp is this?"
I
snake one hand over his arm from the outside and grab the claw he was waving at
me. An ogrillo's fighting claw is like an extremely muscular extra thumb that's
jointed to the forearm below the wrist; like the thumb itself, it's not so
strong against force that vectors outside its normal range of motion. I twist
it sideways and down, and Orbek gasps.
"Hey,
it's like magick," I tell him, showing my teeth. "I've just turned a
Limp Dick into a Jack Ass. Carry me over to where that clean water comes out of
the wall, and I'll turn you back into an ogrillo—one who hasn't had his
fighting claw torn off at the root. You follow? Play nice, and maybe you'll get
the chance to fuck your father after all."
But
he's in no mood to be reasonable; maybe hitting the father-fucker line again
was over the top. He howls rage and pain and lets go of my shirt because he
needs that hand to hit me with. When he releases me, the only thing holding me
up is my grip on his fighting claw; my full weight sags onto the joint, forcing
it sideways and out, and it snaps with a dull liquid pop. His howl chokes down
into astonished gargling.
I
hold on, and for half a second I hang there while he supports me with the
broken claw—damn he's tough—but my weight pulls him off balance, and we
both go to the floor. He comes down on top of me, but I still have enough play
to bend his arm like a chicken wing; then I can extend my other arm behind his
shoulder, grab his wrist and grab my own wrist with my other hand, my forearm
levering his elbow up and back. I use the leverage to push his other shoulder
into the floor beside us, so he can't get a swing with his unbroken claw. I
straighten my arms a bit to take up the slack, and he grunts with pain, since
I'm only about ten foot-pounds shy of ripping every goddamn ligament in his
shoulder.
His
face is right up against the back of my left shoulder; if he was thinking about
hurting me instead of thinking about how much I'm hurting him, he could rip the
fuck out of my armpit with his tusks. I draw back my chin so he can get a
glimpse of my smile.
"Think about what you're doing, Orbek," I say
helpfully. "So far, you've got a busted claw; that'll heal. About ten
seconds from now I'm gonna break your shoulder, which will chew the shit out of
your rotator cuff and fuck you up for life. And if breaking your shoulder
doesn't work, I'll kill you and start again with somebody else. You want to
negotiate, here?" -
His
flunkies are all gathered round, shouting along with the other prisoners—a
couple of them shove Deliann back out of the way—but Orbek's on top and he's
wide as a house. One of them winds up for a kick, and I grin at him. "Even
money says I can take that kick, kill him, and kill you, too, before you get in
another. Go ahead, tough guy. Take your shot."
The
ogrillo decides he should wait and see. It warms my heart, how much mileage I
can still get out of my reputation. "So, Orbek, no help there. What's it
gonna be?"
Pain-sweat
drips off his forehead, and he snarls wordlessly for a couple seconds, then
lowers his head by my ear and whispers, "I give, but leave me some
face with my boys, hey?"
I
give his arm a painful-looking twist, and he snarls again, tossing his head in
a pretty good performance of agony. "Think about it," I repeat
loudly. "Ten seconds. Then you die."
He
gets close to my ear again. "You couldna fuckin' asked?" he whispers.
"This
way's better," I whisper back. "If they kill me, you're
covered."
He
snarls and writhes and goes through some decent pro-wrestler thrashing.
"Yeah, arright," he whispers, then he hooks one of his tusks into the
back of my shoulder joint, just for a second. "But remember. You win this
one? You remember I coulda hurtcha. Maybe I be dead, but you be hurt, hey? I
want some fuck-me consideration."
Reminds
me of me at his age. "Deal."
I
switch my grip on his arm so that I free up a hand to get a forearm under his
chin, take his collar, and lever my wrist against his trachea in a judo choke.
His head comes up and his eyes bug out and he gasps, "All right—all right
don't kill me ..." all nice and hoarselike as if I really were putting
pressure on his throat.
Together
we negotiate the complicated process of getting up from the floor while making
it look like I'm still hurting him, and together we manage to convince his boys
of the dubious proposition that I can kill him before they can haul me
off. We end up with me riding his shoulder, one arm around his neck like a
choke from behind, one hand still on the broken fighting claw to keep his
wounded arm bent in a half-assed hammerlock.
"Caine—"
Deliann says again, his eyes asking me if I want him to jump in.
"Stay
there," I tell him cheerfully. "I'm just going for a drink of water.
My jackass and me, we'll be right back."
As
Orbek sets out toward the dot of Serpents and their hangers-on, I tip a wink
over my shoulder at Deliann. I'm not sure he sees it; he's rubbing his face
like he's got a headache.
The
water streams out a pipe in the wall and pours into a little round pool with
three trenches leading out; the whole Pit floor slopes gently down from there.
Everybody will get a good view.
Almost
like being onstage.
4
Prisoners
scoot back out of Orbek's way, clearing a narrow path of bare floor.
"Who's in charge up there?" I whisper in his ear.
"The
guy with the green rag on his head," he whispers back through a
ventriloquist's grimace. "Calls hisself Adder."
One
of the lesser luminaries in the Serpent constellation stands in our
path.
"Hey, Orbek, you all right?" he says, thinking he's being witty.
"Don't
that
hurt? Musta been real painful when he yanked your claw, huh?"
I
give him a hard look over Orbek's shoulder. "You want to find out?"
He chuckles. "Where you think y'going, cripple?"
"I'm
thirsty. I'm going to get a drink."
The
Serpent points back at Orbek's feet. "Water's fine right there."
"Are you kidding? It smells like your mother's ass."
This
gets a pretty good laugh from the prisoners, and the Serpent's face goes red.
"You got a wise mouth for a cripple, old man," he sneers. "I
wonder, will it still feel that smart when it's wrapped around my dick?"
"Hey,
all I want is a drink. A clean drink, kid. Is that a problem?"
Here
it comes: Adder and his lieutenants are into this now, making their way over,
grinning. They can't believe I'm stupid enough to put myself into their hands.
"No, no, no, no problem," the Serpent says broadly. "But we got
some rules around here, crip. Everything's got a price, huh? Right now,
going rate for a drink is, you gotta suck me off. Nothing personal. Rules,
huh?"
"You
think you're gonna get some off me?" I give a horselaugh. "I'm not a
child molester, kid. Come back when you grow up."
"I'm
growin' plenty right now," he says, rubbing his pants.
"Aw,
for shit's sake, Dinnie," Orbek says, thin and hoarse past my elbow
around his throat. "Lemme through, hey? He's fuckin' killin' me."
"Not
my problem," the Serpent answers, but Adder puts a hand on his shoulder
from behind.
"No,
let them through," he says, playing Lord of the Manor. "Caine's a
celebrity, Dinnie. We need to bend the rules a little to make him feel
welcome." He offers me a slight, ironic bow and sweeps a hand toward the
pool of clear water. "And you are welcome, Caine. Please, be my
guest."
"Hey,
thanks. You're a prince," I tell him as Orbek lumbers past. "You want
to make me feel really welcome? Keep this shit-eating Limp Dick off me once I
get down."
"Orbek
takes my orders; Adder says, "and he won't bother you if I tell him not
to. Right, Orbek?"
"Like
you say, Adder," the ogrillo wheezes.
"There,
you see? You're perfectly safe here, Caine. I'm only sorry you weren't properly
announced; we would have put out the good silver."
Christ,
everybody's a comic. "Yeah, whatever. One knee, jackass." I enforce
the order with what looks like an agonizing yank of the claw, and Orbek
groans as he kneels. I slide off his back and he rises over me, snarling.
"Bastard,"
he says. "Fuck your father!" He draws back his big clawed foot
to bust some of my ribs, but Adder stops him with a sharp word. Wonder what he
would have done if Adder had told him to go ahead. Killed me, probably.
Guess
I'll never know.
Orbek
backs off, cradling his wounded arm and grumbling obscenities under his breath.
Adder leans over me, just out of arm's reach, hands on his knees. "You
understand, don't you, Caine, that I can only bend the rules so far? Sure, I
let you in here. But I am gonna have to get over on you." He gives
me a winning smile of shit-colored teeth. "Hope you don't mind."
"I
don't give a handful of snot what you do, so long as I get some water."
"First
things first," he says, his hands going to the waistband of his pants.
"What,
you afraid I won't put out? What am I gonna do, run away?" I roll myself
over so I can get a taste of the water. It's good: cool, sparkling clear, with
the high mineral content that comes of filtering through a hundred feet or so
of limestone. I take a nice, long, satisfying draft.
The
general quiet in the Pit drops to stone silence.
"You
know, Caine," Adder says, grinning like a friendly alligator, "I
think in the mouth isn't enough. Not for you. I think I'm gonna have to do you.
Do your ass. That's like a, a, y'know, a surcharge, y'know? For taking
the drink on credit."
"What
is it with you guys?" I ask him. "This whole butt-raping
thing, I don't get it. I mean, I don't have any quarrel with
rump-humpers-whatever sharpens your sword, you know what I mean?—but what is it
about nutballs like you that makes you want to fuck a straight? I mean, I don't
go around raping dykes, do I? Where's the fun in that?"
He
straightens, still grinning, and starts to unlace his pants. "Maybe it's
an acquired taste," he says.
"Berne
was like that," I say slowly. "You've heard of Berne? I never could
figure out why. I was gonna ask him—" I push myself up onto my hands and
show him my teeth. "—but he died."
Adder
mirrors my look. "Then I guess you're lucky to have me around to satisfy
your curiosity."
Some
guys just can't take a flicking hint.
"Yeah,
all right, I've heard enough." I pull myself onto the stone bench at the
foot of the wall next to where the pipe comes out. It takes a little
maneuvering to get turned around so I can look out over the Pit.
Everybody's
on their feet now, almost breathless in anticipation—watching Adder get ready
to rape me is probably the best entertainment they've had in weeks. Even the
guards line up along the catwalks, grinning and nudging each other. Some of
them probably can remember the last time I was here, and they don't like me any
more than the Serpents do. I can see Deliann, not too far away, at the fringes
of the Serpents who surround me. He looks worried, but he's holding it together
and keeping his mouth shut. A few shoulders away stands t'Passe and her crowd
of buttlickers.
I
take a deep breath and shout, "All right, asswipes! Shut up and
listen!"
Like
I don't have their complete attention already .. .
"People've
been telling me how things work down here—telling me the rules."
I roll my eyes at Adder, inviting him to laugh along with me. "You
know what? Your rules suck."
He
starts to say something, but I hold up my hand and keep talking. "I've got
some new rules. My rules."
I
fold down all but my first finger. "Rule One: Fuck with me, you die. No
warnings. No second chances."
This
causes an astonished rumble to boil up from the mass of prisoners. Adder can
only stare at me like I've gone bugnuts.
I pop
the next finger. "Rule Two: What I say, goes. It comes out of my mouth,
it's law. Break a law, you get hurt. Break it again, you die." Adder
snorts contemptuously. "Done yet? Anything else?"
"One
more," I tell him with a shrug. "Rule Three: Fuck with my friends,
it's the same as fucking with me. When in doubt, see Rule One. So—" I
lift one hand up above my-head and waggle it. "How many of you want to be my
friends?"
Adder
gives another one of those snorts. Sounds like he's got a turd up his nose.
"C'mon,
don't be shy," I call. "Let's see some hands."
The
Serpents are holding down the crowd with hard looks. They don't even have to go
as far as make a threatening gesture; a simple shift of weight, a coolness in
their eyes, makes it goddamn clear what they plan for anybody stupid enough to
take my side.
Somewhere
in the middle of the Pit, a hand goes up.
Prisoners
step away from him.
"You're
dead, you stupid shit," Adder says. "You hear me?"
In
the middle of a clear space of Pit floor stands Deliann, his hand high. "I
would like to be your friend, Caine. I hope I already am." Well.
I
guess that cold courage doesn't wear off.
Adder
says, "Put your hand down, dead man."
"Hey,
mind your manners, shitbrain."
"What?"
Adder looks down at me. "What did you just say to me?"
"I
told you to mind your fucking manners. What d'you think I said?" Out in
the clear space, t'Passe joins Deliann, and silently puts up her hand. Now one
of her followers goes out there, and another, and another. "I
thought—" Adder says, "I thought I heard you say, `Adder, tell your
boys to kill every one of those dumb cocksuckers. That's what I thought I heard
you say."
I
shake my head sadly. "If I were you, I'd be thinking pretty seriously
about hiking my stupid butt-raping ass out there and raising my own damn
hand."
"And
why would I want to do that?"
`Because
if you don't," I tell him, "I'm gonna fuck you up."
Adder
rotates his shoulders, loosening himself up like a boxer between rounds.
"Bold words from a crippled old man."
"Think
it over, Adder. It's kinda humiliating. Ask Orbek."
"Worse
than being gang-raped in the ass?"
I
roll my head around and sneer at him with scalding contempt. "You got a
move to make, shitbrain? Bring it on."
He
squints at me. "Man, you are asking for it—"
"I'm
begging for it. C'mon, what are you, afraid of me? Shit, what a puss."
"Fuck
it," he says, and lunges at me. He starts to grab for my shirt,
then stops himself—he saw what happened to Orbek, and he's not that stupid—and
he settles for a hard kick that thumps one of my legs where it hangs over the
lip of the bench.
"Yeah,
that'd hurt—if I wasn't crippled dumbshit. I can't even feel it." I
give him a better horselaugh than the one I used on Dinnie. "How'd a moron
like you end up in charge around here, anyway?"
"Feel
this," he snarls, and grabs one of my ankles, yanking me off the bench. I
slap the stone floor in a stinging breakfall. He twists me over facedown, and I
let my arms swing high to open my ribs for his kick. The idiot goes for it: his
shoe crashes in, but I'm ready for it and I absorb the blow with a muay Thai
hiss. I wrap his foot with my arm, locking his toes into my armpit. With my
other arm I push into a roll toward him; he lets out a startled shout as my
leverage on his ankle forces him to the ground.
It
takes me a lot less time to adjust my hold than it does for him to adjust to
being thrown; before he knows what's going on I've got his ankle and heel in a
jujitsu lock that makes him howl.
"You
win!" he shrieks. Not so tough after all. "You win!"
"Fucking
right I win." I bear down on the lock until his ankle shatters with a
crunch like somebody stepped on a wet pile of broken glass. "I always win."
He
screams: a. rabbit in the jaws of a wolf. I pull myself up his leg and punch
him in the balls.
This
chops off his scream and sits him up, gasping; I whip my right arm around his
neck into a forward headlock, brace my left hand against his shoulder, and grab
my own wrist in a figure-four. He flails at me, raining punches at random up
and down my ribs and legs, but he can't get any weight behind them; the only
place he can hit me hard enough to hurt is my crotch, and there's no feeling in
my balls anyway.
The
gassy thing about the figure-four headlock is that it leverages both of my
triceps—two-thirds of the total muscle in each arm—and a fair amount of
pectoral and lat into the lock, and it twists his head so that the only muscles
he can use to resist are those on one side of his neck. From the inside, it's a
losing proposition. Even though I'm weak as a kitten with this chemical
pneumonia or whatever, he doesn't have a chance. I apply a little pressure, and
he squeaks when he feels his cervical vertebrae start to separate.
"That's
it, calm down," I tell him gently. "Fight's over, bubba. You
lose." The other Serpents are closing in around us, uncertain exactly how
to go about hurting me. "Tell your bitches to back off, Adder. Before I
break your neck."
I
give him some slack in the headlock, and he gasps through his clamped teeth,
"Back off—back off! For shit's sake, do what he says!"
They
press away some. "More," I tell them. "Keep going. Little more,
that's it, go on." I chivvy them back until we've got a sizable open space
in front of us—I want to make sure everybody sees this.
Now,
the catechism.
"All
right, Adder," I say. "Who's in charge here?"
"Motherfuck—"
he starts, but a twitch of my arms cuts him off. "Let's try that again,
huh? Who's in charge here?"
"You
are," he growls.
"Very
good. Who makes the rules in the Pit?"
"You
do."
"Hey,
two for two," I tell him encouragingly. "You're doing great. Now,
here's the gristle. I hope you were paying attention. What's Rule One?"
"Uh," he begins, and then I kill him.
He
keeps talking while he dies, sort of: the only sound he can make is a wet kh
kh kh noise—reminds me of Garrette—because a sharp push of my arms broke
his neck, which used his cervical vertebrae to scissor through his spinal cord,
which makes him lie there like a marionette with his strings cut while the
light goes out of his eyes.
A
shove rolls his corpse off me, and I haul myself back up, onto the cut-stone
bench. I look out on the silent mass of prisoners.
"Any
fucking questions?"
And
those couple hundred Serpents gathered around me slowly realize that they're
trapped in a stone room with over a thousand people who have their hands in the
air and who don't like any of them one little bit, and I watch them each and
severally decide—given Rule Three—that maybe they want to be friends of mine,
too.
5
For a
time, Deliann contemplated.
He could
not have said how long this time might have been; the waves of fever that
washed over and through him compressed and expanded time unpredictably. He
might think for an hour, and find only seconds had passed; some hours did pass
during which he could only shiver and sweat, his mind a nightmare jumble.
As
soon as the guards who removed Adder's corpse had trudged back up and the
stairs had lifted behind them, Deliann had gone to this strange man who had
once been his friend. "I want to help."
Hari
gave him a long, darkly measuring stare. "You used to get a little
squeamish. This is gonna be ugly for a day or two."
"I'm
still squeamish. But it won't stop me."
Hari
nodded, remembering. "I guess it never did."
"No,"
Deliann had said. He'd felt an icy, tingling non-pain, as though someone had
slid a thin, very sharp knife between his ribs. "I guess it didn't."
Hari
hadn't needed his help to pacify the Pit; between the Serpents on one side and
t'Passe's Cainists on the other, order came to the prisoners whether they liked
it or not. "It is better to be feared than loved," he observed to
Deliann once, in an abstracted undertone, "for men love at their own
inclination, but you can make them fear at yours."
This
was shortly after the death of Adder. Deliann knelt over Hari's legs, scrubbing
dead flesh from his sores with a wad of coarse burlap. If Hari could feel even
discomfort from this rough treatment, he gave no sign. "I've read The
Prince," Deliann had replied in a matching mutter. "I seem to
recall that Machiavelli goes on to point out that best of all is to be feared and
loved."
Hari
flashed him a dark grin. "Yeah, that's the trick, huh? Nice work if you
can get it." He shrugged dismissively. "Maybe I better stick to what
I'm good at."
"Love
isn't so hard, Hari."
The
grin faded, and his eyes went hooded. "Maybe for you."
"It's
a connection, that's all. It's a recognition of the connection that's already
there.'' Deliann shook his head. Fever was scattering his meaning. "Show
them the connection, that's all. Let them know it works both ways."
Hari
scowled. "Yeah, all right, Confucius. Gimme a fucking hint, huh?"
Deliann
cast a significant glance toward Orbek, who sulked on the wall-bench a quarter
of the way around the Pit. "He's been taking abuse all day for the way he
let you manhandle him. The right word could get him—and the whole ogrillo
faction—solidly behind you."
Hari
nodded thoughtfully. "Worth a try."
After
Deliann finished tying bandages of more burlap over the sores, Hari called a
couple Serpents to carry him out into the middle of the Pit, then summoned
Orbek. "That was a shitty thing I said about your father, and your
clan," he said gravely. "I shouldn't have done that, and I'm sorry
for it."
Astonishment
prevented the ogrillo's reply.
"You
were ready to fight and die for your father's honor," he went on. "I
respect that; I respect you for that. You are a true Black Knife, Orbek.
Your clan should be proud."
He
raised his voice and spoke to the entire Pit. "None of you know that when
we were fighting, Orbek could have ripped me a new mouth or two with his tusks.
The only reason he didn't was that I made him a deal. I didn't beat him, I
bribed him." He held out his hand. "I'd like to claim you as
my friend, Orbek"
"Rule
Three, hey?" Orbek said with a smirk around his tusks, but he took Hari's
hand. And for a moment, he seemed curiously reluctant to let it go. The ogrillo
said, "You, uh, you maybe should have somebody regular to help you get
around. Somebody you can trust."
Hari
squinted up at him. "You offering?"
Orbek
shrugged.
"You
want the job, it's yours."
Orbek
gravely swung Hari up onto his back and carried him back to where Deliann sat
on the bench. Hari had looked down at Deliann and said softly, "You are
one smart son of a bitch."
Over
the hours or days that followed, Hari had seemed to be everywhere all the time;
Deliann didn't know if he ever slept. Orbek carried him wherever he went—he
insisted upon it, and that insistence somehow transformed his earlier
humiliation into a badge of honor.
The prisoners
in general seemed to be actively grateful to have someone telling them what to
do. The rare moments of resistance to Hari's rule came mainly from the Cainists
themselves. As t'Passe never tired of explaining, "Cainism is not a
religion, it is a philosophical stance. Your personal significance is purely
symbolic; we've appropriated your iconography—the Prince of Chaos, the Enemy of
God—from the Church of the Beloved Children, as our symbol of resistance to
everything that Ma'elKoth stands for."
"If
anybody'd asked me," Hari had said to her, "I would have told them to
leave my iconography the fuck alone."
"You
are free to disapprove," she'd replied. "Your disapproval means only
as much to me as I choose to allow it to mean. I am free to resist your will."
"Sure
Hari nodded at her, smiling. "I respect your right to resist. You should
respect my right to break your legs for it."
"Perhaps
respect is the fundamental issue," t'Passe had answered agreeably.
Hari
spent most of his time training his army.
He had
selected a cadre of the strongest, most aggressive of the Serpents, liberally
intermixed with ogrilloi and primals. In exchange for the authority to use
force in the Pit, they were charged with the responsibility for
maintaining order. They also received organized training in unarmed combat,
with t'Passe as a demonstrator. This was a strong drawing point for many of the
younger and more impressionable prisoners: the opportunity to learn some of the
subtleties of infighting from Caine himself.
The
guards, of course, would not have allowed such training if they had understood
what was taking place, but the combat practice was carefully stylized so that
it looked like a dancing game, conducted in the midst of a ring of prisoners
who would sing and clap to keep time. Hari confided to Deliann that he had
hooked this idea from an Earth fighting style developed by slaves in Brazil,
disguised as dance so that they could practice under the eyes of their
Portuguese masters.
The
distribution of food had become strictly regimented. Now, when the woven
baskets were lowered, a single prisoner stood to receive each, and portions
were carefully doled out to an orderly line of prisoners, one at a time. A sort
of economy had sprung up, with the primary media of exchange being food and
sexual favors. All were allowed to make any trades they could-his
"soldiers" only ensured that all deals were ruthlessly enforced.
Extortion or coercion of any kind was swiftly—and unerringly—punished. No
innocent was ever wronged by Caine's justice in the Pit; his judicial system
was the only one in the history of two worlds in which innocence was an
absolute defense.
The
sole judge of truth or lie in the Pit was Deliann's flash.
Something
in his fever had made his flash more frequent. Now, he had only to stare at an
individual long enough, and eventually his flash would come; he saw not only
the facts of each case, but the character of the claimants. Disputes of any
kind became rare, and the Pit's ad hoc police force—despite the criminal propensities
of most of its members—became absolutely incorruptible, after an incident of
minor extortion by one of Hari's soldiers was punished by a spectacularly
brutal execution.
The
Pit was quiet now, as well. When there was no training, conversations
could be carried on in a normal tone of voice, instead of the half shouts that
had always been required before. The guards overhead had not known what to make
of this sudden change; Hari had forbidden his subjects to reply to the
guardsmen's taunts and crude insults. He'd directed them to obey any direct
order and answer respectfully any direct query, but they were otherwise to
ignore all the guards said and did.
He'd
made himself a seat, a roughly padded throne on the bench ledge beside the
spillpipe. From there his miniature Peaceable Kingdom spread before him: lions
and lambs both too respectful of his uncompromising ruthlessness to even
complain, let alone start trouble.
The
arc of water channel to his left had now become the Pit's sole sewer. After one
killing and several severe beatings, no one dared relieve themselves in either
of the other two. The center channel carried the Pit's bathwater, and each
prisoner bathed and washed clothing in that water; even lacking soap, by
the end of the first bathing rotation the animal stench in the Pit had faded to
a faint and not-unpleasant musk. The channel that curved to the right—scrubbed
with rags made of prisoners' shirts, all the way from the pool to the drain on
the far side of the Pit floor—carried the drinking water, now clean and clear
as the stream that sparkled from the spillpipe.
Whenever
he was not called upon to be a judge or legal oracle, Deliann passed the span
sitting on the Pit floor with his aching legs folded beneath him, living in
mindview, studying the swirls of black Flow that enwrapped Hari's shadowy
Shell, watching his fever make the stone walls ripple in slow, deep swells like
the open ocean.
He
spent a lot of time thinking about black Flow. He spent a lot of time thinking
about the interplay of chance and will that is misnamed destiny.
He
spent a lot of time thinking about Caine.
Twice
he tried to tell Hari what he had discovered, but circumstances were against
him. Hari was caught up in conquering and administering. his tiny demesne;
Deliann was able to capture his attention for only moments at a time, and often
a surge of fever would half scramble what he was trying to say.
"Your
Shell," he'd begun, the first time. "You know what a Shell is?"
"Yeah," Hari had confirmed distractedly. "I was married to a
thaumaturge."
"Yours
is black. Someone must have told you yours is black." "So?"
"It's
all about Flow. Stone—this stone, Donjon stone—doesn't stop black Flow. Nothing
does, I think."
"The
point, Kris. Let's have it."
"Your
Shell, it's black because of this kind of Flow, don't you understand? You
can't stop it."
"It's
not that big a deal. Lots of people have black in their Shells."
"Everyone
has black in their Shells. Everyone. But usually you can't see it for all the
other colors. But a Shell that's solid black? It's rare. Rare. I can't tell you
how rare that is. The last one, I think—last I know of—might have been jereth
of Tyrnall."
"Ancient
history," Hari had muttered. "He's not much more than a myth."
"Not
ancient. Not. Just history. Only ancient for humans. Hari, the Covenant
of Pirichanthe—that ended Jereth's Revolt—that was only five hundred years ago.
I know people who were there. My father—I mean, the King—T'farrell
Ravenlock, he was there, as Witness for the First Folk. Jereth Godslaughterer
was as real as you are. Most of what you know of him—most of what the songs and
stories tell--is more true than it is false."
"What's
it got to do with me?"
"Same
energy: you decide, and then you do. That's what made Jereth the Godslaughterer,
and that's what makes you Caine."
"You
better lie down for a while, huh? You're not making a whole lot of sense."
"Your
power is my power: everyone's power. We all have power; we just don't use it.
Black Flow, don't you see? It's mostly a metaphor. Like throwing a
punch. Focus. Directed energy. Concentration. No fear. The release of desire.
Presence. That's who Caine is."
"I
don't follow"
Deliann
had laced his fingers together in front of his knee and leaned back against the
wall of sweating stone. Some of his fever had seemed to drain into the cool
stone, and when he had continued, he'd felt a bit more lucid. "Every once
in a while," he'd said slowly, "I think about some of the things you
taught me, back at the Conservatory. I remember the time you dressed me up in
Sorbathane armor so you could demonstrate a real punch. It's been twenty-sewn
years, Hari. I've done a lot of fighting—I've been punched by an ogre—and no
one, no one, has ever hit me that hard."
"Power
doesn't have that much to do with strength," Hari had said. "A good
punch is half physics and half attitude."
"So
is black Flow. Anyone can use it, just like anyone with arms can throw a punch.
You're better at it, that's all. You strip away the nonessentials. How hard can
you hit if you worry about breaking your hand? How well can you fight if you
worry about losing?"
Hari
murmured, " `Do not be concerned with escaping safely—lay your life before
him: " He flattened his mouth into a grim line. "Bruce Lee."
"A
philosopher?"
"Yeah."
The grim line stretched a little. "He died young."
Deliann
had shrugged. "Caine didn't."
Hari
had looked away. "Don't talk to me about Caine," he had said.
"Trying to be Caine—that's how I ended up here."
"No,
no, no. You ended up here because you were trying to not be Caine."
Which
was entirely the wrong thing to say; Deliann could see it now, too late.
Bringing up Caine had battle-axed the conversation. Hari had told Orbek to
carry him to a pair of Serpents whose voices were inching upward toward a
quarrel, and had curtly suggested to Deliann that they should talk about this
some other time, when he was feeling better.
His
second try, some indeterminate hours or days later, had produced only slightly
better results. He had led into it more carefully, this time; once or twice,
he'd sat down and talked with Hari at some length, without ever mentioning any
of this. They had spoken of the lives they had lived since they had parted at
the Conservatory, twenty-seven years ago.
Hari
had only briefly sketched some of Caine's adventures, since Deliann knew
already the broad outlines of many of these; mostly, he spoke of his wife and
his daughter, of his father and of the home that had been taken from them.
Deliann had more to tell: from his earliest days on Overworld, when he'd very
nearly starved before landing his job as a bouncer at Kierendal's Exotic Love,
to meeting Torronell and his Adoption; from his life at the Living Palace and
the surrounding lands as the Changeling Prince—the Fist of the Twilight King—to
his disastrous journey on the trail of the vanished legation to Transdeia. He
had told Hari of Tommie, and was obscurely warmed as well as saddened to learn
that Hari remembered Tommie well, with respect and some affection.
"Tommie
died a Cainist?" Hari had said softly, shaking his head. "Hard to
believe. He was always so, well, so normal, you know? Practical."
"T'Passe would tell you that being practical is the essence of
Cainism." "Can we not start that shit?"
"Tommie
was not an ordinary man. He may have been, at one time; but the man who saved
me was wholly extraordinary. I can't really say what made him so special.
Cainism might be as good a name for it as any."
"Names,"
Hari had grunted. "What's that line Orbek likes? You can call a turd a
sandwich, but it still tastes like shit."
"You
think there is no power in names, Hari? Tommie wouldn't agree. Tommie gave me
a name. One that's too powerful for me. I can't make myself use it, though
it seems to be mine:'
"What
kind of name is that?"
Deliann
had had to look away, to conceal the tears swelling into his eyes. "He
named me as the Mithondionne. What humans would call the king of the
elves."
"No
shit?"
Deliann
had shrugged helplessly. "Torronell brought HRVP back to the Living
Palace. My family is dead. Though Adopted, I am Mithondionne." He had
lowered his head and swallowed. "The last of my line."
Hari
had been silent for a long, long time. Finally Deliann had looked back at him,
and had been astonished to see stark new pain in Hari's black eyes.
"Christ, Kris," he'd said softly. "I'm sorry. I—" He'd
shaken his head, scowling, disgusted with himself, and had looked down at his
hands. "I forget, you know? I get so trapped in the wreckage of my own
life that I forget other people got destroyed, too. I am such an asshole,
sometimes."
Deliann
had smiled gently. "That's a name, as well."
"Kris—"
"You
have to admit that some names have power, Hari. You must see that."
"Yeah,
all right, whatever. Is this important?"
"It's
extremely important. It's incredibly important. There is nothing more
important. Think about this. Think about the names you use. Think about
the names others use for you. They call you the Blade of Tyshalle, Hari. Do you
ever think about that?"
"They
call Caine the Blade of Tyshalle."
Deliann
had waved this aside; he had no interest in arguing the distinction.
"Tyshalle Deathgod is also called the Limiter, and the Divider. Tyshalle
himself is the energy of change; he is the outer darkness beyond the edges of
organized reality. That's why he's the God of Death: death is the primary change.
The big one. Change is, itself, the structure of experience. Think about it:
The absence of change is stasis--which is also the absence of experience.
Experience is reality. That's what reality is to us; no more, no
less. That's why you get the quantum observer effect. Reality is change. That's
all it is. The Blade of Tyshalle is the leading edge of reality. It's the knife
that cuts everything."
"The
Blade of Tyshalle," Hari had answered heavily, "is a goddamn marketing
gimmick. Some Studio flack thought it sounded cool, that's all. It's a good
hook for an assassin. It doesn't mean anything; they just made it up."
"Shiva's
Dance," Deliann had said, conjuring another name. He'd felt his line of
reasoning slipping through his fingers as more and more connections tied
themselves within his brain. "Your mother was Hindu, wasn't she?"
"Bengali."
"And
your name: Hari. An alias for Vishnu, right? Did she ever talk about any of the
other old gods?"
"Maybe
some," Hari had said warily. "She died when I was, what, eight? I'm
not sure I'd remember."
"Did
she ever talk about Shiva?"
"The
Destroyer. You don't have to be Hindu to know who Shiva was."
"Is," Deliann had corrected. "Is in the sense that the
force for which Shiva was a metaphor is entirely real, and still with us. Shiva
is power in its purest sense. Absolute motion. Destruction, creation: the
same energy informs both. Destructive creation, creative destruction. This
isn't a paradox. It isn't. It's a breakdown of language. Destruction and
creation are not opposites. They are both opposites of stasis."
He
had started to talk faster and faster, trying to get all the words out; his
chain of logic smoked under his acid fever. "The old name—the best name—is
Shiva: the Dancer on the Void. The power that shatters order into primordial
chaos is the same power that patterns chaos into a new structure of
order—because pure chaos is also a kind of stasis, don't you see? Shiva is the
enemy of everything that does not change. Shiva's Dance is the play of
energy in the cosmos; it's not good, it's not evil, it simply is. It's change
itself, and it touches everything. Power. Life. Mind."
Hari
had squinted. "Life?"
"Power
and Life are the same thing. Both of them together are Mind. Mind is a
patterning of energy, nothing more, nothing less. The elemental particles that
make up this stone, right here—" He had rapped his knuckles on the bench
above the spillpipe. "—electrons, the quarks that build the protons and
the neutrons, are exactly that: patterns of energy. The same energy,
Hari. At its most fundamental level, energy is energy. That's why, say, a
stonebender rockmagus can shape this stone with her bare hands—she's trained
her mind to resonate harmonically with the inherent Mind of the rock.
Stonebenders have a saying: `When you work the rock, the rock also works you:
"
"You're
saying everything has a mind."
"No:
I'm saying everything is Mind."
"Metaphysics,"
Hari had said, waving a hand disgustedly. "A guy name of Pirsig once wrote
that `Metaphysics is a restaurant with a thirty-thousand-page menu—and no food:
"
Deliann
had responded with a faintly whimsical smile. "Chew on this, then. I think
the same elemental force of change that an ancient Hindu would have named Shiva
is what I've been calling black Flow. It's what a Lipkan priest would call the
Breath of Tyshalle. It's the power behind his Blade." He'd said gently,
"That's you, Hari."
"You
think so?"
"They
say that destruction follows Caine the way crows follow an army."
"Yeah,
yeah. You know why they say that?"
"Because
it's true."
"Because
another guy from Marketing came up with a good line. I met him once; he told me
they had every Actor out of the whole North American system repeat it
every time somebody mentioned my name until it caught on. This is all just
coincidence, Kris. It doesn't mean anything."
"Everything
is coincidence, Hari. It means whatever you decide it means."
"Just
coincidence," he'd repeated stubbornly.
"The
entire universe is just coincidence, Hari. The existence of these
particular planets around these particular stars in this particular galaxy, the
appearance of life, the interplay of chance that brought you and me together
here, now, having done what we've done, and become who we are: coincidence. The
universe is a structure of coincidence."
"I
thought you said the universe is a structure of mind."
"Yes,"
he'd said. "Yes, I did."
And
he'd been about to go on and explain why these two statements were not
contradictory, but he'd lost Hari again to a sudden scuffle between an ogrillo
and two primals, and after that was settled Hari had managed to find business
more important than returning to a conversation that hadn't interested him in
the first place. Deliann had gone too far afield with this; it was too
abstract. Hari was a nuts-and-guts man. No conversation would hold his
attention that wasn't about something he could bite, or that could bite him.
Now
Deliann watched the dancing game, within its shifting ring of hooting, clapping
prisoners. He recognized some of what the dancers were learning from his old
HTH classes at the Conservatory, and still more from Hari's own tutorials: the
small movements, shifts of weight to alter the point of impact of a blow that
cannot be dodged, the sliding footwork that gracefully flanks one's opponent
with deceptive speed, the focus on joint destruction—especially of the elbow
and knee—and the use of headlocks for more than just control. These headlocks
were for throws, for cracking the skull and breaking the neck.
For
killing.
Deliann
saw clearly what Hari planned. He had always had good eyes. Maybe that was his
only real talent: to see, and understand.
All
right, time to get up, he thought. Last
chance to save the world.
6
Toa-Sytell
had begun to suspect that the whole world had a fever very much like his own.
From
the window of his bedchamber, on the ninth floor of the west wing of the
Colhari Palace, the soldiers on the walls of Old Town looked like dolls. They
seemed to walk with an unnatural, artificial gait as though they were
some badly shapeshifted creatures impersonating men.
Across
the river, in the splay of ruins that still smoldered where Alientown had once
stood, the antisprite netting that draped over the command posts was clearly
designed as an arcane code: Toa-Sytell couldn't read it, but the troops down
there were definitely sending some kind of signal. Something to be read by
griffins, or dragons passing overhead, or some invisible spirit of the air.
Perhaps
the same spirit of the air that had crept in through his nostrils while he
slept, and given him this awful fever. How lucky he was to have awakened before
the spirit had consumed him entirely! though he knew the spirit still lurked
about, just out of the corners of his vision, slipping into shadows behind his
bedcurtains before he could quite make out its shape.
He
could defeat it easily: it only had power when he slept.
So he
did not sleep.
Behind
him, the Eye of God droned on with his interminable report. Exactly as the
Patriarch had predicted, Caine had crushed every threat against him—and had
finally given Toa-Sytell the proof he required.
Far,
far below, figures moved among the troop tents pitched on what once had been
the streets of Alientown. One of them was Toa-M'Jest himself. That one, in the
scarlet doublet. Or was he the one in the dark cape? Perhaps he was the
slimmer, smaller man nearby; as the Patriarch watched, that tiny figure called
others to him. They gathered in a knot and whispered together, thinking that
they could conceal their treason from him with lowered voices. They didn't know
how much he could hear.
He
could hear everything.
All
across the city—across the Empire—his subjects whispered against him. They all
thought he didn't know. They all thought they were safe. "Arrest
him."
"Your
Radiance?"
"Toa-M'Jest.
The Duke of Public Order. Draft a warrant. He is hereby relieved of his duties
and placed under arrest."
"Your
Radiance?" the officer repeated blankly. "On what charge?"
"It doesn't matter. Conspiracy with the Enemies of Humanity."
"But,
but, Your Radiance—he's prosecuting the Caverns War with great success against
the subs—"
"That's
part of his plan." Toa-Sytell sighed, exasperated. How could this
man have risen to his rank in the Eyes of God, when he was so thick
he could not comprehend the plain truth? "He does not conspire with
the elves and the dwarfs and the ogrilloi. He conspires with Caine."
"I,
er, with Your Radiance's pardon, I find that difficult to accept," the officer
said. "The Duke had Caine put in the Pit."
Toa-Sytell
slicked back his thinning hair with the sweat from his palms. "That's
exactly where Caine wanted to be, don't you understand?" "No,
Holiness. I don't."
Toa-Sytell
waved an irritable hand. He could not be troubled to explain the bleedingly
obvious.
The
officer ventured, "I'm certain the Duke is loyal, Holiness."
Toa-Sytell turned from the window. His eyes burned, but they were so scratchy
that blinking hurt. So he no longer blinked.
The
Eye of God looked distinctly uncomfortable.
"Are
you?" Toa-Sytell asked. "Certain?"
"I
... I believe ..."
"Do
you?"
The
Eye of God swallowed and did not answer.
"Arrest
the Duke," Toa-Sytell said, and this time the officer did not argue.
"The,
ah," the officer said hesitantly, "the official charge, Your
Radiance?" Toa-Sytell shrugged. "Cainism, I suppose."
Far,
far below, the river itself seemed to writhe and boil, as though it had a
fever, too.
The
officer turned to leave. Toa-Sytell extended a hand. "No, wait. Not yet.
We don't know yet what Toa-M'Jest is planning. Watch him. Discover his
confederates. Just watch them all, and be ready. When he makes his move, take
him."
The
officer nodded, clearly relieved. "Yes, Your Radiance."
"But
Caine ..." the Patriarch said. "Caine. He is one traitor we know
already. Our coddling of the Enemy of God is at an end." '
His
teeth showed yellow and savage, and his stare was filled with blood. "Put
him in the Shaft."
7
I
don't even see Deliann coming until he stumbles and almost goes down. One of
the prisoners nearby catches him and tries to steady him on his feet, but
Deliann shoves the guy off and keeps moving. "Orbek," I say quietly.
"Get up close on him. He looks like he needs some help."
That's
massively understated: he looks like he needs a couple weeks in a hospital
with an IV drip of broad-spectrum antibiotics. He manages to stagger along one
of the walkways the boys keep clear, and he stops in front of me, swaying.
"I know what you're doing," he says.
I
give Orbek a look, and he nods. He pushes himself to his feet and works his way
around behind Deliann, to where he might be able to catch him if the poor
bastard collapses. If Deliann sees him move, he doesn't show it.
He's
so shiny with sweat that his skin Iooks like wet porcelain, and his eyes are
red-rimmed pools of bruise. His hand shakes when he goes to slick back his
hair, and he says, "You're teaching them to kill Donjon guards."
"You
think you could say that a little fucking louder?" I ask him. "For
shit's sake, Kris."
"I've
seen it before," he insists drunkenly. "You angle in under the club;
you take the middle of the club on your shoulder instead of the end of the club
on your head. Break his arm, because chainmail doesn't have any joint support.
I've seen it. I know what you're doing."
"Kris,
man, sit down." I pat the stone ledge beside me. "Come on. Sit down
before you fall down."
He
shakes his head. "No. No, this is hard enough. Standing up helps me
think." He clenches his teeth, and makes a fist, and says tightly, "This
is a mistake. What you're doing is all wrong. It's all backward."
"I
don't need your approval," I remind him.
"It's
wrong—"
"My
whole life has been somebody's entertainment," I say through my
teeth. "My death won't be. Neither will theirs."
He
flinches like he's too close to a fire that scorches his face.
"Hari—but—"
"No.
We're gonna make them earn it. When those bastards come for us, they are
gonna get the surprise of their fucking lives."
Orbek
folds his arms so that his splinted fighting claw rests in the crook of his
other elbow, and I can read stolid approval in his yellow eyes. We splinted his
broken claw in full extension. It must hurt like hell, but he'll be able to
fight. He doesn't follow the entertainment crap, but the rest makes perfect sense
to him: May you die fighting is how ogrilloi wish each other luck
"No
no no," Deliann insists. He squeezes his eyes shut like he's afraid
they'll pop out of his head, and speaks very slowly and clearly. "You're
preparing to lose, don't you understand? You're preparing to lose. All
this?" He waves a hand over his shoulder, eyes still shut, indicating the
whole Pit and my fighters and dismissing them all at the same time. "All
you're doing is practicing dying."
"Maybe
I need the practice," I tell him. "I haven't had a lot of luck with
it so far."
Orbek
snickers—that's his kind of line—but Deliann's concentrating too hard on what
he's trying to say even to acknowledge it. "Ask t'Passe," he says.
"My will or I won't: you've got the I won't, but you're
leaving out the my will. Half right is all wrong, Hari."
From
where I sit, I've got a clear view of the wide bronze-bound door on the balcony
that seals the stairshaft down from the Courthouse. The door swings open;
armored men file through from above. They carry crossbows at full cock, and
they start to fan out around the balcony. They're looking at me.
I
guess half right is all I'm gonna have time for.
"Should've
had this talk yesterday, Kris." I meet Orbek's grim stare. "You ready
for this?"
Orbek
shows me his fighting claws. "Born ready, boss."
"Go
get t'Passe."
He
nods, and when he swings around to walk away there's a hardrubber bounce in his
step; he prickles fierce anticipation like an electric charge. Prisoners fall silent
as he passes. Everybody starts by looking up at the crossbows; after that, they
just look at me.
"What
do you want, Hari? What do you want?" Kris says. "Ask for
more, Hari. You don't aim high enough."
"I
live a little closer to the ground, these days."
The
floor detail forms up on the balcony: six full-armored guards bearing only
clubs. Nobody with a bow or an edged weapon ever leaves the balcony. The floor
detail guys wear plate mail, instead of the chain hauberks the rest of the
guards have on. The crossbows the others carry are underpowered, designed
specifically for Donjon work; their X-head quarrels won't penetrate steel.
They
made this change after the last time I came through here. I and a dead girl
named Talann showed these fuckers what happens when prisoners get their hands
on full-powered crossbows.
Deliann
weaves close and takes me by the wrist. "What if you could live?"
"Why
would I want to?"
Orbek
comes back with t'Passe. She looks as grim as I feel.
"It
seems early. I thought we had more time," she says. "I could use
another two or three days."
"Pretty
much everybody feels that way on the steps of the gallows, huh?"
She
nods.
"When I give the word, mob the floor detail.
Three on one or better," I tell her. "Use your weakest guys all they
have to do is draw a flight of quarrels."
The
guards overhead won't have to be shy about shooting, that's why the crossbows
are underpowered. Those X-heads won't punch through armor, but they'll chop up
flesh and bone like an industrial meat grinder. "That's where I need the
extra days," t'Passe says. "They're just not ready. If one or two
break, the rest might fold as well."
"Then
pick some that won't break. You know who they are, t'Passe: the ones who don't
want to live long enough to be executed."
"None
of us want to live long enough to be executed, Caine."
"Yeah,
no shit. Don't even think about jumping in yourself. I need you for floor
marshal. Keep people organized once the shit starts flying. Keep them moving up
the stairs." Crossbows take time to reload. I've never seen a guy recock
and reset a fresh quarrel in under five seconds in perfect conditions; the
stress of combat should at least double that time.
The
stairbridge is only a gnat's ass over forty meters long.
"Orbek,
you take Dinnie, Fletcher, Arken, and Gropaz—" Two of the youngest,
meanest ex-Serpents, and two cheerfully savage ogrilloi. "—and hit the
stairs as soon as the bowmen let loose on our mobbers. You are third up the
stairs, you hear me? Third. Serpents in front; we can spare Dinnie and
Fletcher easier than your boys. We gotta take that winch—if those stairs go
back up, the party's over. You're topside marshal. Don't waste time killing the
guys on the winch. Just toss 'em over the rail; we'll take care of them down
here."
"Like
you say, boss."
"T'Passe,
we'll need another screen of mobbers right behind Gropaz; the next flight of
quarrels will go toward the winch. After that, it's hand to hand."
"Hari,
stop," Deliann says. "Think for a minute—think You can do better than
this."
Orbek
answers for me, through a wide grin around his tusks. "There is nothing
better than this."
The
guards on the winch start cranking down the bridge. It drops in arrhythmic
clanking jerks. I nod at Orbek. "Get your boys together and get close to
the foot of the bridge."
"Like
you say, boss." He jogs off.
"T'Passe—"
Deliann begins, but the empty focus in her eyes stops him. She's ready to die.
"I'll
stall as long as I can," I tell her. "Get your mobbers ready,
t'Passe. We don't have much time."
She
nods and starts to turn away, but she changes her mind and gives me a level
look, her mouth a hard flat line. "It's an honor," she says. I mirror
her. "The honor's mine."
She
actually cracks a smile, and then she's gone, moving through the prisoners,
taking one and then another by the shoulder and leading them away.
Deliann
turns back to me desperately and takes me by the wrist; his hand is blazing hot
and slick with sweat. "Hari, you have to aim higher. You have to try for more.
Dying is easy! You've said it yourself. Since when does Caine take
the easy way out?"
The
foot of the stairbridge is only a couple of meters from the floor, and I just
don't have time for this shit. I yank my hand away from him and snarl,
"Caine is just a character, goddammit. I made him up. He's fictional.
I'm not the Blade of goddamn Tyshalle, I'm just Hari fucking Michaelson. I
used to be a pretty good Actor, and now I'm a middle-aged paraplegic with a few
minutes to live."
"If
Hari! What
"What
if what?"
"What
if everyone's right about you? What if the stories about you are true?
What if you are the Blade of Tyshalle?" Deliann asks. "What if
you are the Enemy of God?"
"So?
What then? You want me to just shrug and grin? Okay, I'm crippled. Okay, Shanna
was butchered. Okay I had to lie in her smoking blood? Okay my father's
dead, okay Faith is gone, and o-fucking-kay I don't fucking care? I'm
supposed to just get over it?"
"No,"
he insists, urgently, shaking his head like he's rattled his brain loose and
he's trying to roll it back into place. "No no no no no no no! No
one gets over anything, don't you understand? Everything that happens in
your life—every single thing—leaves a scar. A permanent scar.
You're not supposed to get over it. To get over something—to erase the
mark it left on you—erases part of who you are."
He
leans close and grabs my arm with both hands. He's shaking with fever; his eyes
roll above a twitch in his cheek. "Scars are the key to power," he
says. His breath smells of acetone and rotten fruit. "Scars are the map of
beauty."
He's
close enough to kiss me when he whispers: "Each of us is the sum of our
scars."
The
floor detail starts marching down the stairs.
I
shake off his grip and push him back. "They're coming. You better dodge
out while you still can."
"What
if," he says, "it's Hari Michaelson who is the fictional
character? What if the middle-aged paraplegic is just a role that Caine
plays, so that he can get along on Earth?"
The
floor detail leaves the stairbridge behind. They prod prisoners out of the way
with their clubs and breast toward me. The floor detail officer has a swagger
that I know too well: he's expecting a fight. He just doesn't have a fucking
clue what kind of fight.
"No
more talking, Kris. Dodge out," I snarl, and enforce my advice with
a sharp shove that sends him staggering sideways to collapse on the floor. I
have to shut my eyes against the hurt that cascades over his face.
When
I open my eyes again, the floor detail is standing in a knot in front of me.
Orbek and his boys are ten feet from the foot of the stairbridge. T'Passe
stares expectantly at me from a few yards away, her signal hand motionless at
chest level, waiting for my nod. The floor detail officer flips up his visor,
shakes out a pair of rusty manacles, and says, "We're getting reports that
you're a potential problem down here."
Oh.
Oh, shit, I get it.
I
understand, now.
This
isn't about the Festival of the Assumption; that's still days away. This is
about me. I'm a potential problem, they say, and to tell you the truth, I can't
really argue with them.
Problems
from the Pit go into the Shaft.
This
is gonna make my life fucking complete.
I
look at Deliann.
If
his wounded eyes whisper.
And
all around stand people who are ready to die for me
I
hold my arms out and turn my wrists up, and sigh as the floor detail officer
locks the manacles around them.
"Yeah,
all right, whatever," I say. "Let's go."
8
With
a guard holding each shoulder, their hands jammed hard into my armpits, they
haul me up the stairbridge. I can hear my dragging toes slap each step, but I
can't feel them.
The
Pit watches me go, echoing with stunned silence. Nobody can believe I'm letting
them take me away.
I've
always been full of surprises.
Up to
the balcony: I start talking while everybody can still hear me. "Keep your
shit together," I tell the prisoners. The guards drag me along a catwalk,
past the long, long file of men cradling crossbows. "Keep working—keep dancing.
Stay alert. All three rules still go."
I say
this generally; to address Orbek or t'Passe directly would mark them for the
guards, and they'd end up chained next to me in the Shaft. "When I come
back, you all need to be ready to party."
We
stop in front of the Shaft door. The crack beneath it exhales madness and
corruption and lunatic screams.
The
detail officer picks up a lamp from the lightstand by the door and touches its
wick to the standlamp's flame, and a couple of his men do the same. The officer
smirks at me while he unbars the door. "You're pretty tough, huh?"
I
don't bother to answer.
"Y'know
what?" he goes on. "Lotsa guys are pretty tough, up here in the
light."
He
swings the door wide. The air that rises from the Shaft is wet and sloppy and
so thick it's like the tongue of a week-dead cow jammed into my mouth. It's not
just old meat and bad air down there; it's the breath of people who've gone so
crazy they eat their own shit until their teeth rot.
The
Shafters chained to walls on either side squirm and hide their faces against
the weak light leaking in from the Pit; farther down the dark throat of the
Shaft a few still have enough energy to scream. The walls are beaded with the
condensation from their breath: the beads themselves are grey with the filth
the Shafters exhale. The step-cut floor slopes down into infinite black, and
it's wet and slick with human waste.
I
remember the last time I was here. I remember the people who had lined the
Shaft as Talann and I picked our way down the treacherously slippery stairs to
the sump, carrying Lamorak on my back. Most of them were too far gone even to beg.
They had been reduced to objects, not even animal: mere bundles of shattered
nerves and dripping gangrene, whose sole remaining function was to experience
the slow shit-slickened slide into death.
Just
walking by was as much as I could take—and I was younger then, and a hell of a
lot tougher.
Now I
don't walk anymore.
It's
a good thing I don't have to go down here under my own power. I'm not sure I
could make it.
As
they drag me in, all I can think about are the festering burns on my legs, and
what they'll look like after a few days of lying in other people's shit—but
when we pass the door there's a dark notch, just about two fingers wide, on its
latch edge.
I
remember:
The
throwing knife from between my shoulder blades will serve perfectly. I pull it out
and feel for the crack of the door, slip the blade within it, and pound it
home with the pommel of my fighting knife. It's just like pennying shut a door
in the apartments where I grew up. It won't stop the guards when they come for
us, but it'll slow them down and give us a little warning—we'll hear them pry
it open.
I
lift a hand over a guard's shoulder and brush that notch with my fingertips as
we pass. Seven years soaking up the dank fungal exhalations of the Shaft have darkened
it to the same greenish black as the rest of the wood, but that's the mark that
Caine put there.
That
I put there.
The
detail officer scowls. "What are you grinning at, asshole?" I turn
the grin on him. "Fuck off."
He
whacks me one: a looping overhand right that splits my lip, loosens a couple
teeth, and shoots stars down into the black abyss before me. I keep smiling.
Smiling hurts, but so what?
It
always did.
"When
I come back," I tell him thickly through my smash-numbed lips, "I'm
gonna teach you Rule One."
He
snorts. "When you come back, shit," he says. "You ain't comin'
back. You're gonna die down there."
"All
right." I twist my head far enough around to catch Deliann's eye, far
below. I remember sitting across a table from him in the cafeteria, more than
twenty-five years ago. I remember him saying Forget whether you think it's
possible. What do you want? Like the monkey's paw, he took my answer and
gave me more than I asked for.
I
give him a nod: my oldest friend. Like him or not, the best friend I ever had.
"All
right," I say again. "If I come back."
The
part-time goddess thought she was dead. She was right.
She
was dead right.
But
this was a time of unquiet dead, when spirits and corpses walked the earth,
separately and together. Among gods, death and rebirth is a natural cycle. When
the man who had been a god called upon her spirit, he was sure she would
answer.
He
was dead sure.
He
commanded the power of legions: at his back stood the myriad that he
encompassed, and all the billions of the god of dust and ashes, and the power
of the goddess herself.
Against
them all stood one solitary man, and he said, "No."
With
all their power, the gods could not break him. They could only hope to
transform that No into Yes.
They
were deadlocked.
SIXTEEN
Time.
Long
time.
Long,
long, long time.
Awareness.
Awareness
of a lack something was not there.
Everything.
Everything
was not there.
Everything
with a name, everything that had a word to describe it, was not there. Not even
darkness. Not even nothingness. Not even absence. Only awareness.
At
play upon the field of awareness, one random thought
When
I got there, there wasn't any "there" there.
With
that thought came understanding, and with that understanding came memory, and
with that memory Pallas Ril wished she had a mouth, because she really, really,
really needed to scream.
But a
mouth and a scream both have words to describe them, and there were none of
such things.
2
Overnight,
a new immersion game had sprung up like mushrooms, suddenly appearing on sites
all over the net. Called SimRiverTM', it was an extension of the classic
world-building series, with a couple of original twists. At its heart, it was
very straightforward: The player takes on the persona of the overseeing god of
an Overworld river valley. The goal was to promote the growth of a high
civilization among the tiny simulated farmers and miners that form the valley's
population base. The path to that high civilization was fraught with dangers,
however, from simple drought and flood cycles to natural disasters such as
tornados, earthquakes, and even volcanoes; from crop disease and equipment
failure up to marauding dragons and invasions by hostile elves and dwarfs.
The player accessed the game through a second-hander sim helmet, the same one used
to replay recorded Adventure cubes, and so the immersive experience was very
intense, detailed, and realistic. None of that was particularly original, or
very different from dozens, if not hundreds, of similar games.
The
original twists, however, brought the game to a whole new level of popularity.
One was that this game was interactive: Every person logged on worldwide played
together in real time, all participating in pursuing their collective goal. The
actions of the river god represented the average of their intended moves.
Further, the more people who were logged on at any given time, the more
powerful the god became—this was the trade-off for the reduction of individual
choice in the specific moves.
Finally,
the game was based on reconstructed Studio Adventure files, taken from the
Adventures of a real Overworld river goddess, Pallas Ril. More than simply
watching its effects, a player could feel the power of being a god.
It
was overwhelmingly addictive. In only a few days, the hardest-core of the hard-core
players had adopted a nickname: they called themselves godheads.
Everyone
played it. Marc Vilo played it while he recovered from the implant surgery that
had linked him with the electronic group-identity that was the Board of
Governors. Avery Shanks would have played it, even through her Teravil-induced
haze, had her Social Police guards allowed her into the Earth-normal areas of
the Curioseum. Perhaps even Duncan Michaelson might have played it, save for
the cyborg yoke that shorted out his higher brain functions; he now existed
only as an organic switching nexus for the net lines hardwired into his brain's
sensory cortex.
The
creature that had been Arturo Kollberg played it, though he had no need to; it
amused him to pretend to be only a peripheral part of a grand
mass-consciousness, instead of its focal node. He, alone of all the players on
Earth, actually understood the game's true function: to gather and concentrate
the attention of billions of people at once. To make them all think about the same
thing, in the same terms, at the same time—to align and synchronize the
patterns of their consciousness into a single shared intention—and to feed all
of that mental energy into the net, structured in a way that made it extremely
convenient to use. He, alone of all the players on Earth, could feel the
progress of the game without resorting to technological resources.
He
had only to close his eyes.
He
was not the recipient of that energy, however. The energy of concentrated
attention is essentially magickal; use of magickal energy is best left to
an expert. The energy was directed precisely, surgically, for a single purpose:
to enhance and strengthen a tiny white pinpoint of a star upon the brow of
Tan'elKoth's mental image of Faith Michaelson.
Channeling
the energy through the boundary effect between Earth-normal and
Overworld-normal fields had originally presented something of a problem;
Tan'elKoth had to remain in the Overworld-normal sections of the Curioseum for
his personal powers of magick to function, yet to receive the energy coming to
him, he must also be linked to the net.
And
so, as Tan'elKoth knelt in a meditative posture beside the bed into which Faith
Michaelson had been strapped, he would occasionally rub the shaved-bald patch
on his skull, just behind and above his left ear, and finger the neat arc of
stitching that held the flesh closed. Beneath that stitching was a
thoughtmitter: proprietary Studio technology originally designed as a data and
energy link between the differing physics of Earth and Overworld.
For
days he sat, motionless in concentration; he would not allow mere mortal
exhaustion to limit him. The child, lacking his resources, was kept
continuously medicated. A cycle of stimulants and hypnotics maintained her in a
dreamlike state of semiawareness. Periodic injections allowed her to enter REM
sleep for half an hour or more—the REM state was close enough to waking
consciousness for Tan'elKoth's purposes—but to allow her to fall deeper than
that would risk all they had so far gained.
She
never achieved real rest, but neither did he.
All
would be worthwhile, if he could only touch the river's power. The irony of so
extending himself to summon back the shade of Pallas Ril made him occasionally
smile; but, in the end, were they not both gods? He had spoken of this to no
one; he did not dare even think it too clearly. But he knew, within his
heart of hearts, that once he joined with the rivergod, all would be different.
There would be no more beatings, no more torture and humiliation at Kollberg's
hands.
Kollberg,
he told himself with a trace of
contempt, believed Pallas Ril would be trouble.
That
vile little man had no conception of what real trouble was. Once the link to
the rivergod had been completed, Tan'elKoth would undertake to teach him.
3
She
remembered the point of Kosall ramming between her eyes, remembered the sound
when the frontal bone of her skull splintered around it, remembered the
brief instant of humming buzz that made her whole body burn as oblivion
swallowed her.
But
something had changed. Something had touched her within the vast lack that was
her death; something must have, or she wouldn't have recovered awareness.
Perception filtered through her, slow and pure as springwater through
limestone: She was not alone.
A
body, living breath and blood and bone—a body that was hers, but not hers: hard
and lean, tanned suede and knotted rope, a hand that clutched steel wrapped in
sweat-damp leather, a shaven skull
She
clutched at that body, poured herself into it, howling. But this was no empty
vessel; an ego held this body already, an ego with an identically fierce need
to exist—a mind disciplined and directed, that struck back at her with the
force of absolute terror: a rejection so utter that her grip upon the body
burned her like the heart of the sun.
But
she could not let go.
Even
agony was welcome, after the lack.
She
shrieked pain and rage, and the other shrieked pain and rage, and the battle
was joined.
4
A
decker finally found him there among the cargo crates, two days downriver from
Ankhana. This particular decker had been troubled ever since the barge had
undocked with a peculiar, intermittent buzzing in his ears. He could hear it
only when he chanced to be on watch in the quietest quiet of night; even the
faintest breeze would bury the sound, to say nothing of the daylight chatter of
deckers and crew, and the sonorous chanteys the poleboys used to keep
themselves in step.
Finally,
half through his watch in the small hours of moonless morning, the decker
reached the end of his patience; he took his lamp, left his post, and began to
explore. It was neither a swift nor an easy search, especially since his
natural initial assumption was that the humming buzz must be coming from within
one of the crates; he spent nearly an hour pressing his ear to the splintered
slats of one crate after another.
Finally,
his wavering lamp flame picked out the shape in its cramped tunnel, deep within
the least tidy of the stacks. One look at the rigid body of the young man lying
on the deck, corded tendons standing out from collar to jaw, both hands locked
around the hilt of a sword—the edges of whose blade seemed to fade into a shady
nonexistence—and he went right back out and woke the afterdeck second.
The
afterdeck second was less cautious. He crawled in beside the young man,
scowling at him. He sat, and scowled at the way the young man's back was
arched, bridging above the deck. He scowled at the rictal terror locked onto
the young man's face, and he scowled at the bands of white across the knuckles
of the young man's hands. "Maybe I should give him a kick or
something," he told the decker. "See if I can wake him up."
The
decker shook his head. "What if he don't wanna be kicked?"
The
afterdeck second's scowl darkened. "What's that friggin' noise?"
He
was referring to the peculiar sizzling hum that seemed to come from the young
man's vicinity, the same hum that had finally drawn the decker within. "I
think," the decker answered hesitantly, "I think it's the sword
..."
The
afterdeck second pushed himself back, pressing against the crate behind him. It
was an open secret, whom they'd carried from Harrakha down the river to
Ankhana. The decker could be right. This could be the Sword of Saint Berne.
"Get
a poleboy down here," he said. "Right now. Get a couple of pole-boys
and shift some of these crates. But quietly, for the love of fuck—wake
the captain, and you'll be swimming to Terana."
The
poleboys were ogres; a pair of them were able to swiftly and quietly enlarge
the space where the young man lay. Once done, the afterdeck second instructed
one of them to give the young man a poke with his pole—thirty feet of sturdy
oak, as big around as a man's knee. The poleboy gave the young man a hesitant
nudge on the shoulder.
The
young man writhed, and the humming buzz got briefly louder and lower in pitch,
and the pole was now twenty-seven and a half feet of stout oak; its terminal
thirty inches rolled slowly across the deck and came to rest against the
afterdeck second's feet.
The afterdeck
second recalled that he had been considering giving the young man a kick, and
he imagined what the rest of his life would have been like if thirty inches had
come off his leg.
"Go
wake the captain," he said grimly. "Tell him we gotta send somebody
back up to Ankhana, to the Monastic Embassy. Right now"
5
In
silence so absolute that he had no memory of sound, the Caineslayer fought for
his life.
At
its most basic level, this was a battle for the physical territory of his
nervous system. From her beachhead in the palm of his left hand, she scaled his
nerves like leprosy: tiny incremental snippets of death creeping beneath
his skin. He fought back with a fiercely vivid mindview image of his body, but
He
could no longer imagine his left hand.
Intellectually,
he could remember details: the curve of new hangnail on his little finger, the
arc of scar across one knuckle, the deep-etched battle cross in the center of
his palm—but these had become mere description, abstract and juiceless. He
could no longer put them together into the image of how his hand had looked.
His self-image ended at his wrist. The hand beyond had become a clouded shape,
mostly undefined . . . but slim and long and clearly a woman's. Seen with
physical eyes, the hand would appear unchanged; but within, where it counted,
the life of that hand now resonated to a different mind.
She
had taken his hand and made it her own.
At
its broadest, most metaphysical level, this battle was symbolic. The
Caineslayer had made of himself a knot: a gnarl of memories and intentions, of
love and rage, hate and fear and desire. She enclosed the knot, turning it this
way and that, teasing out its raveling ends, patiently untying him. He clenched
himself against her every touch: this knot was the pat-tern of his identity,
the structure of consciousness maintained by the resonance of his nervous
system. Maintained by the runes painted upon the blade they both now held. To
be untied would be to vanish into undifferentiated Flow. It would be death.
Absolute
death. Consciousness and identity extinguished.
The
permanent lack.
Up
and down the spectrum between these two extremes their battle raged, and their
primary weapon was the logic of pain: This hurts, doesn't it? How about
this? Don't you know how easy it is to stop the pain? Just let go
He
hit her with , his father's fist; she tore his belly with childbirth; he
scorched her with the humiliation of Dala's scorn, when the woman who had taken
his virginity had laughingly called him a child in the presence of her new man;
she smothered him with the drowning grief of knowing she would always come
second in her husband's heart. In sharing pain, he learned her, and she him;
they became more intimate than husband and wife, or parent and child, and this
intimacy made their fight more savage. They fought with the passionate frenzy
of betrayed lovers.
And
the Caineslayer was losing.
Sucked
into the darkness
Eaten
by the Aktir Queen.
On
one thing, the antagonists were perfectly agreed. When he felt an approach of
any kind, he lashed out wildly, and she helped guide his hand. If his
concentration were to break, she would eat him whole. If hers faltered, he
would cast her back into the outer darkness. Only gradually did he come to
realize that his eyes were squeezed shut, that the sense he used to
detect intrusions was not his, but hers: some malign perception of the life
that animated the meat around him, and made it men.
That
was when he knew she had taken too much of him already. If he had seen one slim
chance of survival, he might-have clawed for it in wild panic, but he had no
chance at all. He became calm. Even serene.
In
that serenity, he found strength.
He
would go down into the darkness, but he would go down fighting.
His
own powers of mind gave him unexpected resources: just as she fought to tune
his nerves to resonate with the pattern of her mind, he could tune his own mind
to hers. He drove his attention into the void that had been his left hand, and
he found her perception there. He felt the barge captain and the deckers and
the poleboys and the wider sweep of illness and burgeoning insanity that was
the city upstream; he felt the fish in the river, and he felt the weeds and
algae on which they fed.
Now,
he understood her. The theft of his body was not her goal, it was only a
stepping-stone, a staging area. She wanted the river, and more than the river:
She wanted all that the river touched and all that touched the river. She
wanted the Flow of life that sluiced through him. She wanted to hold him under
that river until all that they both were had been washed away.
Among
the lives he could now feel, he sought one that might capture even a fringe of
the Aktir Queen's attention: anything that might turn the edge of her
scalpel mind. Far, far away—muffled yet painful, a splinter in a frostbitten
finger--so distant and faint that he doubted the Aktir Queen could have
felt it without the focused refinement of his own powers of mind, he detected a
tiny wail of absolute terror.
It
was a little girl, screaming for her mother.
6
Dossaign
of Jhanthogen Bluff, Master Speaker of the Monastic Embassy in Ankhana, had set
up the Artan Mirror atop its own brass-bound carrying case within a, small
shelter on the barge's deck. The shelter was made of crate slats and tar paper,
hastily appended to the similar structure the barge crew had constructed to
keep the autumn rains off the rigid form of Ambassador Raithe.
Around
Raithe circled four Esoterics armed with staves; at intervals, one or more
of the Esoterics extended his staff. None ever came closer than arm's length
before the humming blade flashed out and sheared away the staff's tip. Raithe's
eyes never opened, and his catatonia never altered, save for the instant
convulsive slash that met each approach.
The
deck was littered with small cylinders of fresh-cut wood. Just inside the door
stood two more friars, each bearing an armload of fresh staves. Just outside
the door stood another four friars, who grimly barred the shelter's entrance to
the curious barge crew and the increasingly belligerent captain.
Dossaign
glumly looked askance at his two lieutenants---a Keeping Brother and a Reading
Brother—who responded with uncertain shrugs. Dossaign rubbed his eyes
exhaustedly; the jarring bouncing coach ride from Ankhana to where the
riverbarge had moored had taken more than a day and had left him exhausted and
feverish. He suspected that he might be coming down with the same fever that
had kept Acting Ambassador Damon in bed in the embassy, despite the Acting
Ambassador's express desire to come here personally and see the situation with
his own eyes.
Damon
had been obsessive in his search for his Transdeian counterpart ever since
Ambassador Raithe had failed to present himself at the embassy days before. He
had spoken privately to Dossaign of his growing conviction that something was
going hideously wrong in Ankhana, in the Empire as a whole, and that Raithe was
somehow at the center of it. He had mumbled disjointedly of Caine and the
Patriarch and how he felt the surreptitious gathering of enemies around the
Monasteries and around himself personally, and Master Dossaign had successfully
dismissed all this as fever-induced raving—right up to the point when he'd
boarded the barge.
Certainly
he'd never suspected the bargeman's wild story might be exactly true. Finding
that unlikely truth had made him uneasily worry that some of Damon's mutterings
might have more truth to them than a reasonable man would reasonably expect.
Dossaign
had already Mirrored the embassy, and had been given assurance that Damon
himself would be on hand to receive his next transmission.
Reluctantly
now he began the cycle of breath that tuned his Shell to match the power of the
griffinstone within this Mirror; a moment more, and his Shell tuned their
shared energy to the specific color and shape of the Artan Mirror's Shell in
the Ankhanan Embassy. His own image in the Mirror was replaced by that of a
Speaking Brother from Ankhana; Dossaign greeted him formally and asked for
Acting Ambassador Damon.
Damon's
hair was rumpled and his brows slick with sweat; his eyes looked like scalded
oysters, and he seemed unwilling to meet Dossaign's gaze squarely.
"We
have made our first inspection, Master Ambassador. The circumstance is—"
Dossaign shifted uncomfortably. "—exactly as the bargeman described.
Ambassador Raithe is locked in some kind of rictus. He does not speak or move,
except to lash out with the sword he holds when anyone attempts to approach
him. Our antimagick net is useless, and now needs repair; on our attempt to net
him, he cut through the net before it could enclose him."
Damon
coughed harshly and wiped his mouth. "And the sword?"
Dossaign
turned to the Keeping Brother. "The Acting Ambassador wishes your
assessment of the sword. Take my hand and look into the Mirror."
As
the Keeping Brother complied, Dossaign watched the focus of his eyes shift from
seeing his own reflection to the image of Damon. The Keeping Brother twitched
with an imperfectly suppressed flinch at what he saw, and spoke uncomfortably.
"The Reading Brother and his assistant both agree with my provisional
assessment barring closer, uh, study of this, mmm, situation. This is most
probably, almost certainly, the enchanted blade Kosall—now known as the
Sword of Saint Berne—though there is no record of a possessive or an, er, a
convulsive effect in the history of this particular blade, which is, as you
might imagine, extensive. This is, in itself, a contraindication; also, the
figures on the blade, which appear to be a runic or magickal script of some
sort, which we have been, as you might imagine, unable to examine closely—well,
Kosall is known to appear as plain steel. Other than that, however—"
"So,"
Damon said solidly, his voice strong and dark despite his illness. "You
don't know what is happening to Brother Raithe, and you don't know what can be
done to stop it, or even if such an attempt should properly be made."
"I,
ah, well . . ." The Keeping Brother swallowed. "Mm, no. But—" He
waved weakly toward where Raithe lay rigid upon the deck. "—Brother
Raithe's, er ... radius of reaction ... continues to increase, as it has
ever since we began the examination this morning. We expect his reaction-radius
to stabilize at five to six feet, this being the maximum reach he can achieve
with the blade, unless he somehow manages to get to his feet."
"And
if he does reach his feet?"
"I,
ah, well—"
Damon
scowled. "You believe this to be a magickal effect?"
The
Keeping Brother nodded. "Both of our available
mindview-capable friars have confirmed it—although their reports present
some difficulties of their own. While he clearly manifests an abnormal Shell
pattern—indicating probable magickal causation—there is no discernable current
in the Flow-surround; which is to say, if it is a magickal effect, we cannot
say from whence the power might be coming."
Damon
sighed. "There is only one solution. We must put him, sword and all, into
the Secure Vault."
Dossaign
understood Damon's thinking. The Secure Vault was part of the Keeping Brother's
domain within the embassy: a basement room built entirely of plated steel, with
a door two feet thick Carefully shielded against Flow, it was the storage vault
for dangerous magickal artifacts. The vault itself—and its doorway—were quite
large; it might be possible for Raithe to be brought into it without triggering
his deadly defensive reflex. Within, Raithe would be entirely sealed off from
the general Flow, and he might be able to break the hold of whatever magick
gripped him now.
"But,
but, but," the Keeping Brother protested, "how are we to get him to
the embassy? We can't even move him off the barge!"
"First,"
Damon said, "we need not move him off the barge—we need only move the
barge."
"The
captain will be difficult, Damon," Dossaign murmured. "He is
fractious already, and muttering of reparations from the Monasteries for the
days he's lost. I think if he could have, he would have simply dropped
Ambassador Raithe in the river and continued to Terana."
"Buy
his cargo," Damon said. "Buy his damned ship, if need be. Get Raithe
back here. I don't know what is happening, but I do know that Raithe is at the
center of it."
"But—but,
the expense—" the Keeping Brother protested. "Ambassador Raithe is a
Monastic citizen in distress," Damon said through clenched teeth. "Do
as you are told."
"But,"
Dossaign said mildly, "assuming the Ambassador's situation is unchanged
when we arrive, we still have no way to get him off the barge."
"That's
not your concern. Get him here."
The
connection was broken.
Dossaign
sighed. "Well, then. We're on our way back to Ankhana."
7
In
the end, it was what They were doing to the little girl that turned Hannto the
Scythe against Them.
He
had decided, in the vague and foggy muddle that passed for thought among
the shades, that he would have melted the damned crown of Dal'kannith down for
scrap metal, had he known that transforming himself into Ma'elKoth would bring
him here: a ghost within his own skull, and an unwilling participant in the
permanent, infinite rape of this innocent child.
Sometimes,
Hannto felt as though he were part of a great sticky web of mucus—glassine
slime that clung to the naked body of this little girl, dripping on her eyes,
forcing itself into her mouth, her nose, her ears, every drop searching for the
orifice that would let it leak into the river. At other times, it felt as
though the child had been slit open through the belly, and he drew her entrails
out one slow length at a time, examining every inch in turn for any hint of her
link with the mind of Chambaraya. Sometimes it had been a pure and simple rape,
a punishing insertion, inflicting agony to force surrender: Let us into the
river.
Sometimes
it felt as though the child had been skinned, and her living flesh draped
around him like a costume, as though he might gain the river by a grotesque
imposture.
Hannto
was not conscious, exactly; he was a personality, but not a person, in any real
sense. Like many of the shades, he was a group of interrelated experiences and
memories, attitudes and habits of mind, that Tan'elKoth maintained to attend to
particular tasks that might otherwise occupy too much of his attention. Hannto
in particular was a specialized subroutine that Tan'elKoth used to access the
art- and esthetics-related subset of his stolen memories and skills.
But
he was also more than this: he was the baseline, the original, the core of the
creature that had become the god Ma'elKoth. Hannto, when he could think, liked
to think of himself as Ma'elKoth's soul.
Hannto
the Scythe had never been a pursuer of women, or of men; lusts of the body
meant little to him. He had never pursued wealth, for wealth was at best only a
tool, never a goal. He was not a lover of ease and leisure, not interested in a
life of endless play; he did not seek power over others.
His sole
passion had been beauty.
Perhaps
this had come of being saddled by the circumstance of his birth with a twisted
body that inspired only pity, with a face that women compared unfavorably with
horse turds; perhaps. He had never cared to analyze the roots of his obsession.
It was a simple fact of his existence, like the sun and the wind and his
crooked spine. He had never been able to concern himself with right and wrong,
good and evil, truth and lie. Beauty was his life's sole meaning.
Not
long after he had taken the enormous step from mere acquisition to true
creation, he had even created a new self he had made of himself the icon of
beauty and terror that was Ma'elKoth. But even at his most terrible, there had
been nothing of ugliness about him. Until now.
It
was this that made what had been done to Faith Michaelson so repugnant to
Hannto the Scythe. It was ugly.
Overwhelmingly,
irredeemably, fatally ugly.
He
could not close his eyes, for he had no eyes; he could not turn his
head, for he had no head. Due to the peculiar specifics of his existence, there
was no way he could avoid a savagely intimate knowledge of the endless rape of
this child. Hannto found this unendurable, but he could not in any way affect
it; he was only a set of traits, skills, and memories, after all. He had no
will of his own. He was a personality, not a person.
All
the shades resonated with loathing; poor Lamorak could do nothing but sob. Even
Ma'elKoth—formerly a god, now merely the splinter personality charged with
securing the link to the river—seemed to hate the whole process, but he, too,
had no choice.
It
had become so crowded in here.
Tan'elKoth's
mental world was crammed to bursting with innumerable, almost insignificant
lives: the faceless traces of the faceless masses of Earth, tiny bits of
virtually will-free mind.
But virtually
is not the same as entirely; their sheer numbers made the power of
their aggregate will overwhelming. Hannto felt sure that Tan'elKoth would never
have continued to brutalize this child, if not for their ceaseless pressure;
but whatever scruple might still have existed within him had drowned in an
ocean of people—the ocean of people that Hannto had come to call Them.
Tan'elKoth
could no more resist Them than he could turn back the tide.
Every
one of Them was hungry for the river, for what it represented: open space,
breathing room. Wealth. Land. Clean water, clean air. Fresh food—real fruit
right off the tree, real vegetables, real meat. And They didn't care how
They got it.
Individually,
perhaps, They might have been repulsed by the thought of harming a child, any
child—but each of Them could blame her pain on millions and billions of others
as well as themselves, and so each was willing to pour himself into this little
girl until their combined pressure ripped her to bloody rags.
One
ten-billionth of the guilt for her terror and agony was easy enough to bear.
And
so, when the tiny searing pinpoint of the link had opened upon her forehead,
like a single star in a vast black sky, Hannto had discovered that one does not
need eyes in order to weep. From his rage and despair, from his love of beauty,
from somewhere beyond the wall between the worlds, he found an unfamiliar
strength. He found, for the first time, the power to say no.
Privately,
hugging the thought to himself, shielding it from Ma'elKoth and Lamorak and all
the other shades and all the countless, countless blank-faced billions of Them,
he said: I won't.
He
was only one against the billions, but he could wait, and he could watch.
If
any chance came, he could act.
8
For
two days, the riverbarge had toiled back upriver, pushed by chanting poleboys
and pulled by the ox-teams that Master Dossaign had hired along the way. Now it
was moored against the foot of the Old Town wall just upstream of Knights'
Bridge.
To
get the myriad necessary Imperial permissions had taken nearly a day and a
half; over the last few hours, a team of Monastic engineers had hurriedly
constructed the enormous swivel-mounted crane that towered above the wall's
top. A double-sheaf block was lashed to the outer timber of the crane's arm,
set up as a luff tackle; from the single-sheaf block at its lower end hung four
chains. Each chain attached to a large wooden hook, nailed foursquare around
the area on the barge's deck where Raithe still lay, still twisted in unnatural
rictus, the sword still clutched in his hands.
The
deck shelter had been cleared away, and now a magick-capable friar worked his
way from corner to corner, slicing out the section of deck where Raithe lay
with one of the embassy's prized relics: a Bladewand, recovered from the river
six years before, believed to have once belonged to Pallas Ril.
Damon
leaned through a crenel of the wall, the embassy's Master Keeper beside him.
Damon picked obsessively at his fingertips, the skin dry, cracked and oozing
blood. He was aware of the sidelong looks from the Master Keeper, but he could
not make himself care. The man was an idiot, and he'd always been against
Damon—just another of the petty voices who whispered together behind his back.
They both silently watched the blue-white plane of energy flicker in and out of
existence from the Bladewand's focal crystal.
The
stone of the merlon beside him was moist and cool with dew. Damon leaned his
face against it to let it draw some of his fever. Since this morning, he
had had little to drink; his throat pained him, making swallowing a chore.
The
barge captain stood nearby, wringing his hands, muttering under his breath.
"An
inelegant solution," the Master Keeper murmured for perhaps the hundredth
time.
Damon
grunted. Yes, his solution was not elegant; neither was it cheap. But it should
get Raithe into the Secure Vault without any loss of life.
"I
say just shoot the son of a bitch," the barge captain growled from behind
them. Between the damage done to his deck and being pushed around for four damn
days by a bunch of Monastics who all acted like they owned the damn world, he
had swallowed about as much crap as any one man can. "A couple guys with
crossbows could settle that little cock right down. Whyn'tcha just shoot
him?"
"Because
he is a Monastic citizen in distress,' Damon said without turning, "and as
such, he is by right entitled to whatever aid I can lawfully offer."
"What
about my rights?" the captain said. "I got rights, too!"
"Do you?"
The
captain looked at the back of Damon's head, then at the several heavily armed
friars who stood in various postures of attention around him on the wall. Some
of them stared back at him with disturbingly expressionless faces.
Damon
said, "Perhaps you would care to enumerate these rights?"
The
captain lowered his head and stalked away, grumbling under his breath.
"Sure, fine, go ahead and serve your goddamn Human Future, who cares if
you're buttfuckin' people along the way."
The
friar on deck below stood and stepped back, waving the depowered Bladewand
three times over his head. The men who held the ropes hauled away, and the
section of deck upon which Raithe lay lifted clear, swinging gently and
twisting in the late afternoon sunlight.
They'd
raise him, deck and all, up over the wall and lower him on the other side,
directly onto the bed of a cart that waited in the alley below, with a team
already harnessed. Then a slow, careful journey across the cobbled streets of
Old Town to the rear of the Monastic Embassy, where ten more friars waited near
the loading dock; they would carry the section of deck on their shoulders,
slowly and gently, all the way into the Secure Vault, without ever coming close
enough to the stricken Raithe to place themselves in danger from the deadly
blade.
This
operation had garnered a large crowd of curious onlookers, both on the
docks opposite and lined up along the stone rail of Knights' Bridge. As the
section of deck went higher and higher along the tall curve of the Old Town
wall, spontaneous applause broke out here and there.
Damon
barely heard it. He was mesmerized by Raithe's stillness—even a corpse would
have relaxed from rigor long ago.
"He's
been like this for days," Damon muttered to no one in particular.
"How can he keep going? I'm exhausted just looking at him."
The
Master Keeper shook his head. They had speculated endlessly about this, and no
one had a reasonable answer. "Effort like that over this length of
time--over half this length of time—would kill any ordinary man. I cannot
imagine what he's using for strength."
"Whatever
it is, he uses it still," Damon said grimly. "He's moving
again."
Perhaps
it was something in the motion of the piece of deck that had roused him,
something in the gentle swing and sway as it rose beside the black stone of the
wall; perhaps it was the laughter and applause from the crowd. For all Damon
would ever know, it might have been some arcane perception of the plan to move
him into the Secure Vault.
Some
things are destined to remain mysteries.
All
Damon knew was that something made Raithe roll, and brought the edge of Kosall
against one of the chains that supported the deck; the chain parted with the
bright schinnng of sandpaper scraping a silver bell.
"Haul
away!" Damon shouted. "Haul, rot your eyes!"
The
section of deck swung a little farther than it had before. Two more friars
leaped to the rope, yanking on it desperately to get him up and over the wall,
but Raithe rolled to the next corner and Kosall sheared the next chain. The
crowd yelled in alarm as the deck section swung down like the trap door of a
gallows and Raithe tumbled insensibly toward the deck of the barge some
sixty-odd feet below.
Damon
tracked his fall with grim eyes.
When
Raithe missed the deckrail by inches and hit the water with a mighty splash,
the crowd cheered again. The Master Keeper waved his arms and shouted,
"Divers! Divers, go!" Friars on deck started toward the rail until
Damon overpowered the uproar with a shockingly loud, "Hold your posts!
That's an order!"
The
Master Keeper turned on him. "Master Ambassador, you cannot—" "I
can. It is you who can't. I am in authority here. Never presume to is-sue
orders in my operation."
"But
he might still be alive! He can still be saved!"
"Not
by us," Damon said. He opened a hand down toward the impenetrably murky
waters of the Great Chambaygen. "You would send men into that? And what
will happen to those who are unlucky enough to find him?"
"I—I
..." In Damon's eyes, the Master Keeper could see the reflection of
severed staff ends clattering across the barge's deck, and the image struck him
speechless. "I am sorry, Master Ambassador," he gasped, when he had
finally recovered his voice. "I wasn't thinking."
Damon
said, "Fortunate for them that I was," and turned away. He leaned
over the retaining wall and looked down at the roiled murk of the river for any
sign that Ambassador Raithe might still be alive.
Minutes
passed, and the stricken Ambassador never surfaced. Damon closed his eyes.
Some
time later, the Master Keeper asked in a very soft and thoroughly chastened
tone, "Do you think we might try divers now? He's surely drowned, and we
must recover the sword. We cannot risk that it should fall into unwary
hands."
"I
am not at all sure he is dead," Damon said. "He should have been dead
hours ago, or days. I do not know what sustained him then; I do not know that
it does not sustain him still."
"What,
then, shall we do?"
"What
we would have done from the beginning, had I not been so enamored of my own
cleverness," he said stolidly. "We shall wait, and watch, and
guard."
"Huh,"
the barge captain grunted from his place along the wall. "Woulda been
simpler, you just shot him like I said, huh?"
"Simpler,
yes," Damon agreed. He gave a heavy sigh. "You should go now. I find
myself tempted to simplify the problem I have with you."
9
At
the bottom of the river, he drowned in the Aktir Queen.
The
river itself could not harm him, for the Aktir Queen defended his body
with her power; like a child in the womb, breath was unnecessary while the
living water flowed around and through him.
He
fought as stubbornly and savagely as ever, though he knew he was dying. She
continued to hurt him, and he continued to hurt her back. Her endurance was
illimitable and her power overwhelming—but he could himself draw upon the power
that sustained her, and use it to resist.
So
the murder was taking a long, long time.
A
day passed, and another; through the goddess' river-born senses, he could
feel the slow wheel of the sun. There may have been more days, or less; though
he could sense whether day or night clothed the world above, he could no longer
remember if it had done so once, or three times, or five, or a dozen.
Slice
by onion-skin slice, she cut away his life.
The
final turning point came when some disconnected part of his brain wondered why,
exactly, he was putting himself through this. What, exactly, did he have to
live for?
To
watch Caine die? He had taken his revenge. He had wounded Caine as deeply as he
himself had been wounded; he had proved to the world that the Enemy of God was
no more than a man.
He
discovered that he was no longer interested in Caine's death. Now, with the
final darkness closing in around his mind, he discovered that he was no longer
interested in anyone's death.
Perhaps
he was the Caineslayer no longer.
Perhaps
he had never been.
He
remembered vividly Caine's despair, his fantasies of oblivion, visions of death
seductive and sweet. He thought of how Caine had longed for the emptiness, and
the end of pain. The billowing clouds of darkness that would fade until light
and dark were no longer even memory
Here,
at the final link of his long and tangled chain of destiny, he found,
unexpectedly, a choice.
He
chose.
It's better this way, he thought, and let
himself fall into the infinite lack.
I0
Late
in the dark of autumn, under stone-grey clouds that bleached sunlight to the
color of dust, new grass sprang up from the banks of the Great Chambaygen.
Among that ankle-high jungle of brilliant young green, crocuses raised their
faces and unfolded like warm snowflakes toward an invisible sun. Trees creaked
and shivered as new leaves opened like fists that had been held closed against
the approach of winter.
The
hills below Khryl's Saddle echoed with the gunshot reports of bighorns clashing
in rut, and birds proclaimed their territory with bursts of song; along the
river's length, horses kicked and bucked, cats howled, dogs chased one another
through the unseasonably warm breeze. Even slower, duller species such as
humanity felt a quickening surge in the blood: the intoxicated fizz inside the
head that says It's spring.
And
so it was: all of spring in a single day.
The
streets of Ankhana suddenly burgeoned with young corn twisting upward from
horse turds; flagstones cracked and split into green-swarmed rubble. Oak and
ash, maple and cottonwood splashed out from seeds that should have drowned
within the river itself, curling branches up the outer walls of Old Town and
twining the piles that supported Ankhana's bridges. Windowboxes became
cascading riots of new greenery, and trellises vanished under the sudden spread
of climbing vines. In moments Ankhana could have been a city abandoned to
jungle decades before: a skeleton giving shape to the verdant explosion that
consumed it.
This
was no false spring; for, after all, spring is precisely the earth's echo of a
goddess, when she shouts I AM ALIVE.
Darkness
is the greatest teacher.
A tribe
of the Quiet Land once had a rite of passage in which the aspirant was buried
alive, deep beneath the earth, where no light could find him and no ear could
hear his sobs and his screams. This was the final rite; after a span of days
spent in such a coffin the aspirant was released, and numbered among the wise.
They
did this because they knew:
Darkness
is a knife that peels away the rind of what you think you know about yourself.
The shades of your pretenses, the tones of your illusions, the layers of deception
that glaze your life into the colors that tint your world—all mean nothing in
the darkness. No one can see them, not even you.
Darkness
hides everything except who you really are.
SEVENTEEN
They
carry me down the steps until they find a Shafter who doesn't move when the
officer kicks her; good odds she's dead, from the bloat of her belly, but it's
hard to be sure. There's so much filth caked on her skin that the lamp can't
pick up postmortem lividity. She might only be catatonic. They unlock her wrist
from its wall shackle, and drag her down toward the sump at the foot of the
Shaft.
The
officer notices my gaze following her. He smirks.
"Yeah,
I heard," he says smugly. "That's how you got out last time. That's
probably how you'll go out this time, too—it's just that they got iron bars set
in the stone down there now. With just about this much space between
them." He shows me with one hand, like he's holding a loaf of invisible
French bread. "So we got a new piece of equipment, too, right next to the sump:
a sausage grinder. One of those bigass ones. We bought it off Milo, the livery
guy. Big enough to take a half-ton porker. Plenty big enough for you."
Sooner
than I would have liked, the gleam from the guard's lamp picks up the grinder's
black-crusted shape: a stone idol, maw open for offerings. The guard shoves the
woman in headfirst and inches the wheel ahead a few times until the teeth
engage in her hair; then he lets go of her torso and cranks for all he's worth.
It's geared way down, to be used by one man, so he has to yank that wheel
around a few times before the meat paste it makes of her starts to churn out
its ass end and drip into the sump.
The
hot billow of stench that rolls up the Shaft is actually a little comforting:
at least I know she was already dead.
The
detail officer unlocks my manacles and says, "Strip down," and then
he whacks me one after I again suggest he should fuck off. He cuts away my
shirt with a small hooked knife that might have been designed for exactly that
use, and then we have a bit of low comedy while they try to strip the breeches
off my useless dangling legs, until the officer slaps their hands aside
and goes after my pants with the knife. If I had a sense of humor left, I'd get
a chuckle out of the look on his face when he discovers another layer under the
breeches: those burlap bandages of Deliann's, now dark and stiff with dried
pus. He cuts those off as well, then makes one of his flunkies bundle them up
and carry them. "Right-handed or left?"
This
time, I don't even have to speak: the look on my face is eloquent enough to
earn me another whack.
They
drop me in a heap in the dead woman's muck, lock the wall shackle around my
right wrist, and tramp off up the broad, shallow steps of stone, taking their
lamp's paltry glow with them. The last of the light vanishes above, leaving me
in the dark with the whimpers and screams and soft hoarse giggling.
And
the smell.
I
know this smell.
I
have drowned in this before.
It's
the smell of 3F in the Mission District: third floor in the back, farthest from
the stairwell, two rooms and one walk-in closet barely big enough for an
eight-year-old boy to have a cot.
It's
the smell of the chemical toilet inside Rover's seat.
It's
Dad's smell.
The
slow shit-slickened slide
I have
been eaten by my nightmare.
The
mouth of Hell has yawned beneath my feet, and I will fall forever.
2
I
see the darkness of the hours and days before me, identical to whatever hours
and days behind: no light to define the world, no silence. Eternal night with
staring eyes, straining against the shimmering dark. Sometimes people talk to
me, and sometimes I answer.
Not
people. Shafters. We're none of us people anymore. The next guy upslope has
dysentery, and every time he lets go more acid shit he starts to cry. He keeps
telling me how sorry he is.
I
tell him we're all sorry.
I
don't tell anyone who I am. Who I was.
I
mean, how can I?
How
do I know?
No
sleep. No sleep ever again: the screaming never stops. They will scream until
their anguish erodes the last of my sanity. That's what I tell myself, but I
know I do sleep .. .
Because
every once in a while, I awaken from a memory of light.
I
awaken from the touch of my daughter's hand, from the scent of my wife's skin.
I awaken to the endless night and stench and screams. Sometimes beside me there
is a wooden trencher with broth-soaked bread or a bit of cheese, that I can
find by touch over the stone. I eat with shit-caked hand.
Once
or twice I'm awake when the trusty slouches down the stairs with his lamp in hand:
he's some kind of wetbrain, mismatched drooping eyes and a line of drool
trailing from slackly open lips. He looks at us, but I cannot imagine what his
semifunctional brain makes of what he sees.
Here
in the Shaft, I might slip from life to death seamlessly, never realizing that
I have passed; how should death be different? The funny thing is, I'm pretty
much okay with this. More than okay.
This
is no demon-drained numbness. This isn't even a grip-jawed I can handle it. It's
a feeling warm and chill, a tingling of skin and sweet taste on the tongue, an
expansion of heart within my chest so alien to me that some hours or days or
years pass before I can really figure out what it is.
It's
happiness, I guess.
I
can't remember the last time I felt this good.
I
am, right now—lying naked in the pool of a dead woman's shit, chained to stone,
gangrene eating my rotten-meat legs—as happy as I have ever been.
Maybe
it's the smell.
3
Now
that the stench of the Shaft-- of my life—lives inside my nose and my mouth, now
that it's soaked in through my pores and oozed around my cortical folds, I
don't really mind it.
It
reminds me .. .
I
can't draw the memory all at once. I tease it out, bit by bit. After a day or a
month, I have it all together. I remember what the smell reminds me of.
It
reminds me of the day I came home walking funny.
This
is the smell of 3F that day when I slunk through the door, maybe thirteen years
old, with a severely bruised rectum and a storm-surge of tears gathering behind
my eyes.
Dad
was having one of his better days, and he was trying to clean out the room off
the kitchen where he slept. He'd been in one of his paranoid delusional phases
for a while, saving his shit in plastic bags because he was afraid his
"enemies" had been trapping the hall toilet we shared with 3A, B, C,
D, E, and G. He thought these imaginary bad guys could separate out his
stools and use some kind of whackass SF machine to analyze them until they could
tell what he'd been thinking; he was convinced they would steal the ideas of
some book he was secretly writing.
That
day he was pretty lucid: he'd been trucking the bags down to the storm drain in
the alley below the aluminum sill of my window. I guess even his imaginary bad
guys would have a hard time figuring out which shit was his, once it was down
in the sewer.
Anyway,
one of the bags had ripped open and slopped across the kitchen floor, and when
I came in he was trying, in his dizzy, blurred, ineffectual way, to scoop up
the turds with a dustpan and pour them into another bag. All I wanted that day
was to make it to my little closet and curl up on my cot and forget how scared
I was for a while, but somehow I'm never that lucky.
Or
maybe I'm always luckier than that.
After
a few years, it gets hard to tell the difference.
Dad
grabbed me when I tried to hustle past and told me I had to help him clean this
up. I remember vividly the pain of trying to get down on my hands and knees,
and even as crazy as Dad was, my screwed-shut face and old-man moves woke
something inside him. He put his arms around me and held me to his chest and
asked me what had happened in a real calm, gentle voice like he really cared
about the answer, and I burst into tears.
There
was this kid named Foley. Toothpick Foley. Big kid, maybe sixteen or seventeen,
twice my size. He was a courier for a black-market chit trader named Jurzscak,
which made him kind of a big deal on my block. Foley always had a couple of
guys hanging around him, trying to pick up the odd food or booze chit by
gophering and general stooging.
I thought, in those days, that Foley had a pretty
good line of work; I'd been supporting Dad and myself as a burglar, being small
and agile and not overly concerned with the niceties of personal property, but
it doesn't take too many close calls with big mean drunk Laborers coming
through the front door while you go out the back window to make a guy think
that there's gotta be an easier way to make a living. .
So
I went to work for Jurzscak. My whole life, nobody ever called me lazy; I
hustled my ass off for that guy, and he was starting to toss some of the perks
and goodies my way that used to go toward Toothpick, and Toothpick took
exception to this.
He
and a couple of his boys cornered me in an alley and got me down on the
pavement.
I
don't remember Foley's first name. Everybody called him Toothpick—I think it
was for his skinny little needledick, but I never knew for sure. When he
realized he was never gonna be able to shake the name, he'd decided to attach
it to something else: he started carrying around this bigass sheath knife, with
a blade something like nine or ten inches long, and started calling it his
toothpick.
That's
what he tried to jam up my ass.
He
didn't bother to take down my pants; this was just a warning. While his boys
held me down, he took the point of the sheathed blade and stuck it against my
asshole and just leaned on it. It's a pain that does not bear
describing.
He
told me in very clear words of one syllable that I should get my ass off
Jurzscak's team, or next time he sees me, he sticks it in up to the hilt. No
sheath.
I
don't think I ever did manage to explain it to Dad. I couldn't get the whole
story out between my sobs, and anyway there were no words for how scared I was.
The whole long limping walk home, I couldn't think about anything but the
ice-slide of razor-sharp steel up my butt, slicing through me from the inside
out
I've
never been so afraid of anything in my life, before or since.
Dad
just held me, and rocked me in his crazy stinking shit-smeared arms until I was
almost calm again. Then he asked me what I was going to do about it. I told him
I was going to quit. What else could I do? I had to quit, because if I didn't,
Toothpick would kill me. What Dad said then changed my life.
He
said, "He might kill you anyway."
I
thought about that for a while, until I started to shake all over again. I had
just barely enough control of my voice to ask Dad what I should do.
"Do
what you need to do, Hari," he said. "Do what will let you look in
the mirror and like what you see. This boy might kill you. He might not. A
building might have fallen on him on his way home tonight. Tomorrow, you might
get caught in a crossfire, and then you'll never have to worry about Toothpick
again. You can't control the future, Killer. All you can control is what you
do, and the only thing that's important is that you feel good about it.
Life's hard enough without going through it ashamed of yourself. Do something
you can be proud of, and let the rest go."
The
words of a madman.
But
he was my father, and I believed him.
The
next day I reported in to Jurzscak as usual. It was the hardest thing I've ever
done. And instead of hustling straight out, I hung around for a few minutes
until Toothpick showed up.
I'll
never forget the look on his face.
He
stared at me, blank as the moon. He couldn't comprehend what he was seeing. He
was four years older than me, he outweighed me by a hundred pounds, and he'd
seen that unmistakable stark terror on my face just the day before. He couldn't
bend his mind around a reality in which I wasn't running away from him.
While
he stood there trying to figure out what the hell was going on, I pulled two
and a half feet of copper pipe out of my pants and played teeball with his
kneecap.
He
went down screaming; Jurzscak popped up yelling; Jurzscak's boys all jumped at
me; I was spinning and swinging my pipe and howling that if anybody wanted some
of this, they should step up to the plate. Toothpick managed to get his blade
out and lunged at me off his good leg. I let him have another stroke right on
the top of his head and he went down hard, writhing and moaning, blood going
all over the damn place, and Jurzscak finally managed to get the pipe out of my
hand and he hit me in the belly with it hard enough to fold me over gagging.
"Michaelson,
you crazy little fuck," he said breathlessly, "what in
the name of crap is going through that shithouse rat you use for a brain?"
When
I got half my own breath back, I told him. "Toothpick said the next time
he saw me he'd jam his blade up my butt," I said. "I believed
him."
So
Jurzscak had a talk with Toothpick, which ended up with Toothpick's shattered
kneecap bearing the weight of Jurzscak's shoe and Toothpick finally mumbling
out the truth through tears as bitter as mine had been the day before.
"But it was just a joke," he sobbed. "We was just kidding
around."
"You
were?" I said, thinking Ask my asshole how funny it was. "Hey, me,
too. Just kidding, Toothpick. No hard fucking feelings, huh?"
Then
Jurzscak turned on me, weighing that pipe with his hand. "I won't say you
didn't have reason," he told me a little sadly, apologizing in advance for
the stomping he was about to inflict, "but that don't mean I can let it
go, either. You know the rules, Michaelson: Two of my boys have a problem, they
bring it to me."
Nothing
Jurzscak could do scared me half as much as what I'd faced to walk in there
that day. So I looked him in the eye and said, "Isn't that what I just
did?"
He
thought about that for a little while; then he nodded. "I guess you coulda
snuck him, you wanted. But why the pipe, kid? Why not just tell me?"
"My word against his?" I asked. "You would have believed
me?" He didn't answer, but then he didn't have to.
"The
pipe," I told him, "was to let you know I was serious."
I
worked for Jurzscak for most of the next year, until he pissed off the wrong
guy and Soapy broke up his gang and put him under the yoke. Toothpick was, as
they say, a dead issue: In the Mission District Labor Clinic—the same one where
my mother died—the meditech got so interested trying to reconstruct Toothpick's
knee that she missed the slow hemorrhage inside his skull, and Toothpick
shuffled off this mortal coil about three the next morning.
Toothpick
Foley was the first guy I ever killed. Didn't even mean to; it just happened
that way. I knocked him on the head, and a few hours later he died. Like the
Cainists say, you can't miring the bell. Not that I'd want to.
Christ,
I was strong in those days.
What
the hell happened to me?
4
That
statue stays in my head: that David. The more I think about it, the more
it makes a creepy kind of sense. David was, after all, the Beloved of God, who
fell from grace
Over
a woman.
It's
not exactly a secret that Tan'elKoth's always had a little thing for me.
Not
sexual—I'm pretty sure that sex was one of those things, like eating and sleep,
that he gave up to become Ma'elKoth. But I know he is capable of love; he loved
Berne. And he hinted to me, all those years ago, that he'd turned to Berne
because he couldn't find me. He hinted that I'd been his first choice, all
along. And, Jesus, the way Shanna felt about him, you could say she was
jealous. And he despised her; he never even tried to pretend he didn't.
Is
that what built this whole pile of shit? A goddamn love triangle? It
makes a certain amount of sense.
Even
in For Love of Pallas Ril, you can see it: He was trying to get me to
choose him over her—over anyone. And on Earth he moved into that Other Woman
position in our lives
Now
that I think about it, he could be behind the whole goddamn thing. The way
Garrette was reading off those cards—that stuff sounded like it might have come
right out of Tan'elKoth's mouth. He could have done it all out of jealousy and
revenge. It hangs together.
But,
you know what?
All
these stories—the stories that I tell myself, to try and understand why what
happened happened; the stories that are all I have of my life—
They
all hang together.
The
longer I think about it, the more different ways I can tell it. It's like what
Raithe was talking about: He had found a way to trace everything in his life,
good or bad, back to Caine. He could just as easily have turned it sideways,
and traced everything back to Ma'elKoth, or to Pallas Ril, or to the goddamn
weather twenty-seven years ago Sunday.
Sure,
this could have happened because the big bastard was in love with me. I can
also swing the same facts around and make it all happen because I wanted to
play at being Caine. I can make it all happen because Raithe wanted revenge for
his parents. I can make it all happen because a pack of damn fools decided that
Caine was really the Devil, or because Kris Hansen wanted to turn himself into
a goddamn elf.
Shit;
I can make it all happen because Toothpick Foley bruised my butthole.
Like
that statue: It's an insult. It's a piece of advice. It's a love letter. What
it means is a function of who I am when I look at it.
What
anything means depends on how you tell the story.
5
Jesus,
I remember
I
remember crouching in the supply closet inside the Language Arts shitter,
waiting for Kris' setup to draw in Ballinger. I remember how dark it was—just a
single line of white light under the door from the shifter's fluorescents—and
the smell, the opposite smell from the Shaft: harsh chemical tang of cleaning
solvents leaching from the ruck of mops and brooms and the rag-draped bucket. I
remember having to keep still, so I wouldn't knock anything over or kick
something and give the game away; we couldn't clear a space for me in there,
because open floor inside that crowded supply closet might look suspicious to
an investigator. I remember how hard it was to breathe in there with the
smothering walls close around my face, and how I started doing long slow-motion
kneebends to keep my legs from cramping up.
I
remember the prickly ball of needles that rolled over my whole body when I
heard Ballinger's voice, and the hot drop of my stomach when I realized he'd
brought backup.
I
remember thinking, So: there's four of them. All right. Four Combat
cavemen against a pair of Shitschool pussies; we were probably both gonna die,
and who cares? Nothing they could do to me would be as bad as Toothpick's knife
going into my asshole. And I knew that if I stayed in that closet and
listened to Kris die, I could never look myself in the mirror and like what I
saw.
If
I ever get a chance, I should tell him the story of how my father and Toothpick
Foley saved his life. Shit. I wish I could tell Dad that story, too.
If
any of that other shit hadn't happened to me—if my father hadn't gone crazy, if
my mother hadn't died and left me running wild on the District streets, if Dad
hadn't beat the snot out of me every other day, if Toothpick hadn't gone for
me, basically my whole fucked-up life—I would have stayed in there. All the bad
shit that ever happened to me had made me into a nineteen-year-old kid who
could jump out against four guys without even thinking about it.
And
I knew it. In those days, I knew it. I even said it to Kris once: I
had a great childhood. That's what Kris was talking about—that's exactly
what Kris was talking about. Scars are the key to power.
Each
of us is the sum of our scars.
Because
if any of it had been any different, I never would have gotten the chance to be
Caine.
Kris
had it right. I should have taken my own goddamn advice. I never wanted to be a
fucking Actor, not really. All I ever wanted to be was Caine.
How's
this for irony: I can see now that Caine is who I already was.
That
scene with Jurzscak and Toothpick Foley? Caine, right down to the dialogue. At
the Conservatory, Kris could see it already. "When you think about
hurting people, when you really let your passion run, you want to do it by
hand."
He
understood me better than I did.
He probably
still does.
I
mean, is that fucker ever wrong about anything?
"No,
no, no. You ended up here because you were trying to not be Caine.
"What
if it's Hari Michaelson who is the fictional character? What if the middle-aged
paraplegic is just a role that Caine
plays, so that he can get along on Earth?"
6
Damn.
God
damn.
That
Kris, he is one scary son of a bitch.
Because
when I think about it that way, I can see it perfectly. I can see the exact
moment when Hari Michaelson was born.
I
was just out of my freemod debriefing: two weeks of interrogation
by Studio brainsuckers going over everything that had happened to me over
my almost three years of freemod training at Garthan Hold abbey and elsewhere.
I wasn't the first Actor to study with the Monasteries, but I was the first to
be sworn to Brotherhood. They made me an Esoteric even though I sucked at
mindview. I didn't need magick to be good at stealing stuff and hurting people.
So
the Studio decided they wanted me to rise within the Monasteries for a while.
They wanted to feature me as an assassin. I wasn't into this shit at all; I've
never been good at taking orders. I wanted to do straight Adventures, explore,
see strange creatures, and hunt for treasure and all that kind of crap. I was
even thinking about maybe going pirate—y'know, the high seas and shiver me
timbers and island girls and shit. But the Studio wanted an assassin.
I
was more than half ready to tell them to fuck off. Assassins are boring. I'd
known a couple of contractors when I was little, and met a few more while I
worked for Vilo. It's plodding, methodical work. Real killers are not stylish,
or dashing, or even imaginative. They're more like accountants with guns. If
you do your job right, there's no drama in it at all. Who wants that kind of
life?
They
and Vilo had a lot of money invested in me, and I figured that gave me enough
leverage to get what I wanted. Then Vilo took me for a ride in his Rolls and
explained how the world works.
He
started off trying to placate me. The Studio didn't want me to be a real
assassin, he tells me. They wanted me to be a Hollywood-style assassin: kind of
a high-fantasy James Bond. Sure, they say that now, I'm thinking,
but five years down the road, when my audience numbers suck wind from all
the Monastic scutwork I'm doing, they won't be talking to me about James Bond
anymore. They won't be talking to me at all.
Being
generally full of piss in those days, I wasn't gonna do it. Let them shitcan me;
who cares? Contract violation would get me busted back to Labor, but that
didn't scare me at all. Shit, with the skills I'd learned between the
Conservatory and the Garthan Hold abbey, I could drop right back into the
District and make a solid living as freelance muscle, maybe end up a
neighborhood boss and not have to kiss any Studio ass in the first place.
Vilo,
though, didn't get to be the Happy Billionaire by being stupid. He had me
tagged and bagged before I even knew I was hurt. The Rolls touched down in a
nice, quiet Labor neighborhood, mostly twencen sixflats and courtyard
buildings—light-years better than a Temp ghetto like the District—and took me
to Dad's apartment.
I
hadn't seen Dad in six years, since I blew the District when I was sixteen to
go work for Vilo. The last time we'd been in a room together, it was a
roach-infested shithole, garbage six inches deep covering the floors, one whole
room converted into Dad's personal septic tank and the damn place only had
three rooms to begin with. The last time we'd been in a room together, he'd
tried to open my skull with a pipe wrench.
Where
he lived now was a pristine one bedroom, with cream walls and honest-to-Christ
wooden molding around the doors and windows. Curtains. Furniture. A dining-room
table. A refrigerator with real food in it, a kitchen sanitary as a surgical
theater. A bathroom—his own private toilet, right inside the apartment, and
even a stall that would measure out ten minutes of hot shower every day.
And
Dad.
Dad:
shaved and dressed in clothes that were clean and whole, if not actually new.
With hair gone entirely grey and cut close to his scalp, and the light of
reason in his eyes. Dad: who could shake my hand and tell me he hoped we could
get to know each other again, now that he was sane. Who could put his arms
around me and smell like a man, instead of a slaughterhouse.
I
don't even remember what we talked about that day; I was lost in marveling at
this man who was simultaneously so Dad and so alien. He almost made me feel
like I was five years old again, like he was normal and Mom might just walk
into the room and give me a hug.
After
we left, Vilo took off his velvet glove.
Vilo,
y'ousee, took real good care of his undercastes. He was famous
for it. He'd started looking after my father only a few months after I went to
work for him. Turned out that Dad's condition wasn't curable, but it was
treatable; with the right combination of drugs and therapy, he was able to hold
down a steady job as a net research assistant could pay for that apartment and
even get a decent meal at a diner every once in a while.
Vilo
explained to me that Dad's employment was contingent upon mine. If I screwed
him on my contract, he'd cut Dad loose. It wouldn't take a week for Dad to be
back in 3F, or worse.
So
I swallowed my piss and did what I was told. It was the only way I could keep
that smell out of my head.
That's
who Hari Michaelson is, I guess: he's the guy who will do anything to stay out
of 3F.
No,
Hari's more than that. He's the good guy, I think.
He's
the guy who thinks that if he does what he's told, the people he loves will all
be okay. He's that profoundly unhappy man who sits at his desk at 3 A.M., head
full of bitter smoke from the ashes of his heart. He's the guy that Shanna
wanted me to be.
He's
the model for David the King.
Funny:
Shanna fell in love with Caine, but she couldn't live with him. She could live
with Hari. Did she love him? I really can't remember. If only I could ask her.
7
All
the damage we did each other
Christ,
I remember the first time I saw her: at the table in that conference room at
Studio Center. I had just come off back-to-back megahits, Retreat from the
Boedecken and Last Stand at Ceraeno; and I had just been approached
by Hannto the Scythe to locate and recover Dal-kannith's crown. Kollberg had
decided to put together a serial Adventure, a multiparter featuring an entire
team of Actors with me playing lead. There were six of us, and Kollberg had
even set up a romance for me—he was always on my back to put more sex into my
Adventures. I was supposed to spend my idle hours dallying with Olga Bergman, a
big gorgeous Nordic blonde who played a Khryllian knight named Marade. Olga was
a good kid, a rising star with a booming laugh and a spectacular Ms. Olympia
physique, and she was more than willing to play along.
But
Shanna was sitting at the end of that table.
She
was shy for an Actor, at least in those days. Reserved. Intense. A little
spooky.
Luminous.
They
all knew me, of course; I was the hottest property in the whole Studio
System. They'd all rented Last Stand, and every one of them had to tell
me how great they thought it was. Standard showbiz stroke-up. All through the
whole meet-and-greet, they were laughing and joking and asking each other which
was their favorite part. All but Shanna. She never said a word.
When
Kollberg himself finally pushed her on it, she said quietly, "My favorite
part isn't on the cube."
She
blushed, and dropped her eyes like she was embarrassed. Kollberg didn't let up.
Finally, she revealed her shameful secret: "My favorite part is thinking
about all the people in Ankhana who get to go to bed at night, who get
to get up in the morning, who get to kiss each other and hug their
children. All the people who will never know what you did to save their
lives."
"Ah,
grow up," I told her. "I didn't do it for them. I did it for audience
share."
She
shrugged. "They'll never know that, either," she said, and
gave me that incendiary little half smile of hers that made my chest go tight
and my heart stutter, and I was pretty well done for.
The
shitty thing is, we never had a chance. If we'd lived together for a hundred
years, she never could have comprehended 3F. I look back on my life with her,
and I cannot believe I didn't understand what was happening to me.
I
wanted a world where there is no such thing as 3F—where it belonged to the
frozen past, entombed in millennial dust, never to rise again. I wanted my
world forever purged of that smell.
So
I built my own 3F and called it the Abbey, and locked myself in, and tried to
pretend I was happy about it. Shit, the Abbey was worse. My old room was
something I could run from. I could fight the smell.
The
Abbey had me fighting to stay there.
Now
that I'm down here, now that 3F is my whole reality in the bottomless stench of
the Shaft, I'm so much happier it makes me want to laugh out loud. I can't
remember the last time I was this happy.
No,
wait: Yes, I can.
I
remember
8
A
few of the costumed mock revelers see me now, and still themselves, hands
drifting toward folds of clothing for the weapons concealed there.
I
keep walking toward them, slowly, offering a friendly grin.
The
golden sand of the arena crunches as it shifts slightly under my boot heels.
The sun is hot, and it strikes a reddish glow onto the upper reaches of my
vision, where it glistens in my eyebrows.
All
my doubts, all my questions fly away like doves in a conjurer's trick.
Adrenaline sings in my veins, a melody as familiar and comforting as a lullaby.
The thunder of blood in my ears buries all sound except for the slow, measured crunchch . . . crunchch of my footsteps.
Toa-Sytell
sees me now; his pale eyes widen and his mouth works. He tugs upon Ma'elKoth's
arm, and the Emperor's head swivels toward me with the slow-motion menace of
the turret of a tank
That
was the last time I was truly, utterly, completely happy: seven years ago, on
the sand at Victory Stadium.
Happy.
For the same reason I'm happy now.
I
knew I would die there.
It's
not death that cheers me, though; it's not death that draws a stinging smile
from my battered mouth. It's that I get to die on Overworld. It's that I
don't have to go home.
I'll
never have to go home again.
Shit,
y'know what?
I
even kinda like the smell.
It smells
like running the streets on a San Francisco summer night; it
smells
like stickball and fistfights, like rolling ragfaces for loose change and
dodging down blind alleys to skip over a fence one step ahead of the cops.
That's why I'm happy.
Oh,
Shanna .. .
If
only
That's
one bell I wish I could unring.
I
wish I could have gotten to this while Shanna was still alive. I wish I could
have shared it with her. She might not have understood—shit, I know she
wouldn't have understood but I'd like to think she would have been glad to see
me happy.
I'm
gonna die a free man. Is anything better than that?
I'm
free.
9
I
think of Kris, and his stuff about names. I think I understand a little better
what he meant. Dad once told me that I am more than Caine, and he was right.
But he didn't understand that I am more than Hari Michaelson, as well. Hari was
a good guy. He loved his wife, loved his daughter, loved his father and this
world. He was in over his head, that's all. This wasn't his fault. He didn't
have a talent for it.
He
never really had a chance.
I
never gave him one.
The
corner of the manacle around my right wrist makes an imperfect tool, and I have
no light by which to work. On the other hand, I have nothing but time. The wall
of the Shaft is that same porous limestone, much softer than the iron that
binds me to it. I work slowly, and do a good job, even though I'm working
entirely by feel.
Once
in a while the trusty comes by with the soaked bread that passes for dinner,
and by the dim flicker from his lamp's flame I can see my handiwork grow.
It
reads simply:
HARI
MICHAELSON
And
a pair of dates.
The
first is the day Vilo took me to see my father.
The
second is my best guess at today's.
He
deserves an epitaph, but I don't scratch one in the stone. I am his epitaph.
I0
The
world wants to call me Caine. But that does not encompass me. I must remember
that Caine is the name for only part of what I am. Someday, that name will grow
to name me more truly. Right now, it names all of me that I need. Caine is an Actor.
An actor.
One
who acts.
I
need something to work on. Something to try to do.
To
be shackled here in the Shaft, dying—it's a gift: I don't have to waste time
trying to make up my mind. There is only one thing I can even try.
Kris
said that black Flow comes through even this Donjon stone. That it comes
through everyone; that we draw it and direct it without even knowing what we
do. That it is energy in its most fundamental form. Energy is energy, he said.
No reason why Flow can't go through wires and microcircuits, I guess. It only
needs to be properly tuned.
Calling
upon skills buried for a quarter of a century, I curl both of my hands into the
Three Finger mudra and begin to cycle my breathing in that ancient, ancient
rhythm. Mindview won't come right away, but Caine can find it. Years and years
ago, he was trained for it. I was trained for it.
I
will find it.
That
middle-aged paraplegic was just a part I played, so I could get along on Earth.
I don't need him anymore.
I
will move my fucking legs.
The
part-time goddess passed into the lands of the dead, and there she strove with
monsters. She brought with her the dark angel's spawn, and the man who had been
a god. They fought sometimes beside her, and sometimes against her, for in that
land of shadow and illusion one cannot always distinguish friend from foe.
In
the lands of the dead, there is only one certainty. It is the certainty of
self. This is why tales and legends people those lands with monsters.
It
has been written that when one contends with monsters, one risks becoming a
monster. This is not true.
The
true risk is that one might discover the monster one has always been.
EIGHTEEN
Ankhana
embraced Damon of Jhanthogen Bluff with a jungle of dreams.
An
oak shouldered him aside as it lashed upward from a crack in the flagstone
dockside, shoving him stumbling into a head-high corn patch; the stalks
crackled and burgeoned with young ears that grew from fingerlings to the size
of his hand while he stood and watched with open-mouthed awe. Pumpkin and watermelon
vines snaked along the stone and coiled around his ankles. Intertangled apple
and peach and willow leaped from the Chambaygen so fast that the reeds
festooning their upper branches dripped chill river water onto Damon's feverish
brow. Barges and boats and floating piers were shoved and twisted and
overturned.
In
minutes the river had become a marsh, and the great wall of Old Town had become
a vertical forest of leaves and brilliant blossoms.
I
have done this, Damon thought.
The
buzzing in his veins—a strange fizzy bubbling up and down his neck that swirled
into his head and out again—had started as a tiny hiss, but had boiled and
burst since the green had come to devour the city. He walked in a dream, and
knew it was a dream; this could not happen, except in a dream.
The
friars Damon had detailed to patrol the dockside and watch for any sign of
Master Raithe and the Sword of Saint Berne were all Esoterics: veterans,
experts in covert operations skills ranging from hand-to-hand combat to demolitions
to magickal counterespionage. At the first creak and rustle of the foliage that
sprang to life around them, they had scattered and taken cover like the
professionals they were.
He
was alone.
Damon
couldn't see them anywhere within the riot of waving, weaving green, and he
wasn't sure he wanted to. He wasn't sure of anything. I've been sick,
he thought. I've had a fever.
I
must still have a fever; this must be a fever dream.
He'd
been at the dockside for days, he guessed. He couldn't bear to be away.
He'd posted his guards and watchmen, but he couldn't trust them to watch and
guard, not really; whenever he left the riverside he was tormented by visions
of Raithe slipping away, sneaking, escaping
And
Raithe, he knew, was at the core of what was happening to Ankhana; let him go,
and all hope of answers would be lost with him. So Damon always came back, to
pace and brood and contemplate the river, because the only man in Ankhana he
could still trust was himself.
Because
this is my dream.
His
stomach had been troubling him, and now in the green storm his guts twisted,
and he retched: a brown-traced milky fluid spilled from his lips. How long had
it been since he'd last eaten?
What
had he last eaten?
The
streaks of brown in his vomitus looked like blood.
He
wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and its touch stung him sharply. His
lips had cracked and split and smeared his hand with fresher blood. He was
thirsty, dreadfully thirsty ... He knelt and cupped river water to his mouth,
but his tongue turned the cool water to nails and broken glass. He could feel
it tearing open his throat, shredding him inside
Maybe
what I need isn't water.
He
looked back at the pool of his vomit, at the swirls of brown; he looked down at
the smear of red across the back of his hand. Blood, he thought.
Blood.
He
would have to hunt.
A
flash of furtive motion caught his eye. He rose to a stalking crouch, parting
reeds with his hands, then slipped forward through the stand of corn. There it
was again was it again? Was it the first time? Had he seen this before, or was
he remembering an older dream?
The
flash of a boot heel, as it vanished behind the trunk of an ash; a startled
glimpse of a woman's face, eyes wide and staring for one brief second until
screened by rustling corn, the smell of unwashed crotch and armpit, the
mouthwatering earthmetal savor of blood
His
dreaming jungle was full of, people.
Slowly,
his jungle came to life in his ears. Grunts and growls, screeches and screams,
all manner of bellows and howls and shrieks echoed near and far: calls not of
beasts, but of men. Calls of the beasts that men had always been.
He
followed a crackle of motion and was brought up short by a yell that was
chopped to a thin moan. Thrashing a clearing in the reeds was a tangle of
human flesh: a man and a woman and a knife struggled together near the river,
and Damon couldn't make his eyes interpret who was doing what to whom. He could
see only limbs, and metal, and blood.
Blood
The
blood pulled him forward, and he followed, thirsting. This was only a dream,
after all.
He
entered the reeds, and something struck him from behind.
Overborne,
crushed to the ground, he tasted the viny resin of the broken reeds that jabbed
his face, while what might have been a knee dug painfully into his back and
frantic hands scrabbled at his clothing. He lay unresisting, abstractly
wondering how this happenstance figured into his dream, until dully ripping
teeth latched into the joining of his neck and shoulder and gnawed at his
flesh. The pain—real pain, too-real pain—woke him from his daze. This is no
dream of mine.
Damon
reached back and gripped with one hand the head of the man who chewed on him,
while his other hand sought the man's eyes with stiffened fingers. The
fellow grunted into Damon's trapezius, and his fists flailed ineffectually.
Damon's fingers drove slowly deeper into his eyes, and the man stopped punching
and started trying only to get away, thrashing and pushing and moaning. Damon
let him go, and heard a grunt of impact and a wet gurgle; before he could roll
over and sit up, one of his Esoterics had tackled the man, pinned him, and cut
his throat.
"Master
Damon!" the Esoteric gasped, springing to Damon's side with his bloody
knife still in hand. "Master Ambassador, I'm sorry—I couldn't get to
you—all this—" He waved his bloody knife at the riot of green around them.
Damon
couldn't take his eyes off the knife: rivulets of red trickled from the blade
along the friar's wrist. It looked so warm, so ... satisfying-He
He
had to remind himself that this was not merely a dream. He still had duties
here. "I'm hurt," he said distantly. He took his hand away from the
bite wound on his shoulder, and more blood spilled down his robe. "This
must be washed, and bandaged."
The
young friar gasped; reaching for Damon's shoulder to examine the wound, but
Damon pulled away. "Your knife," he said, averting his face.
"Master?"
"Clean
your weapon, Brother," Damon said thickly. "First, clean your weapon.
Always."
The
friar flushed. "I, I, I'm sorry; Master—" he stammered. "It's
just—" His defeated wave took in the jungle around them, the towering
cliffside forest of the wall, the throat-cut corpse two steps away, the man who
lay on
the
riverbank with a knife handle sticking out from his eye socket, the bloody
trail of broken reeds that led to where a woman lay pumping out the last of her
life a few yards away. "—everything's so crazy . . . What's
happening—it's driven everyone mad."
"What's
happening has driven no one mad." Damon pushed himself exhaustedly to his
feet, and the fizzy buzz in his head got louder and louder. "It's merely
given us permission."
"It's
like a dream," the young friar said helplessly.
"Yes,"
Damon said. "But not my dream. Or yours." The buzz in his head fizzed
louder still, bubbling in his arteries, gurgling through his heart.
"Yes,
that's it," the younger man murmured. "That's exactly it. We're not
even real. We're trapped in someone else's dream."
"Get
up. Gather the others. We still have duty, here."
"Duty?
What duty can we have in a dream?"
"This
is a dream. It is also real. It is the dream of a god, and the gods dream
reality."
The
buzz became a growl, then rose to a grinding whine.
"What
god?" The young friar grimaced disbelief. "What god would dream
this—this insanity?"
For
answer, Damon pointed out over the river.
The
long grey blade snarling in his hand, water streaming from his buckskin tunic
and pants, Raithe of Ankhana strode along the surface of the river as though
the rippling waters were carved of stone. He walked awkwardly, half stumbling,
his legs barely able to support his weight. He headed upstream, and on his face
was thunder.
Damon
said, "That one."
2
"...
so beautiful ..."
Avery
Shanks rolled over and locked her jaw against a groan. The expanded-foam pallet
that had been her bed on the cold tile floor of the veterinary surgery had been
comfortable enough to let her sink into occasional periods of exhausted sleep,
but every time she awoke she felt as though someone had removed all her
cartilage and replaced it with industrial-grade sandpaper.
Her
sleep had been plagued by nightmares of being seized and fondled, her elbows
and knees and hips grabbed by bony fingers fleshed with rotting meat, her
breasts and buttocks and crotch squeezed and rubbed by a mass of Laborers who
crowded around her, 'stealing her air with their horrible breath, and all
of their faces had Kollberg's empty leer. She rubbed grit from her eyes and
tried to remember what had awakened her. "I never knew ..."
It
was Tan'elKoth: a reverent whisper. Avery took her hands away from her face,
and caught her breath.
A
new light had entered the surgery: a light softer, more full, more golden than
had been seen on this planet in a thousand years: as though someone had
captured the first breaking dawn of a preindustrial May, bottled it like
brandy, and decanted it only now, aged and mellowed and purified into a glow
that shouldn't exist outside of sonnets and fairy tales: a light that is felt
with the heart more than seen with the eye, a light that draws the spirit
upward beyond the dull confines of Earth. It was the light that poets write of,
when they describe the transfiguring brilliance of a lover's smile; it
was the light that painters dimly echo with the secondhand image called the
halo.
This
light shone from Tan'elKoth's face.
"Is
it done, then?" Avery whispered, afraid to speak aloud. "Have you
done it? Is she safe?"
Tan'elKoth's
gaze was farther away than miles can measure: he looked into a different
universe. "How could I have dreamed—?"
Avery's
eye, though, was drawn to the slow writhe of Faith, where she lay strapped to
the table, a IV drip keeping her in permanent nightmare. "Is it over?"
she asked, more insistently. "Can she rest now? Tan'elKoth, can she rest?"
Slowly
Tan'elKoth's gaze returned from that unimaginable distance, and to his lips
came a smile of gentle satisfaction that threatened to become triumph.
"Soon,
Businessman," he murmured. "Soon:'
3
The
only light in the techbooth that served the Interlocking Serial Program came
from the heart of Ankhana itself, translated into the cold electronic glare of
eleven POV screens. In the center of the booth sat the creature that had been
Arturo Kollberg; its eyes could have been mouths, swallowing the raw uptangling
of Ankhana's unnatural spring.
The
creature never moved as the techbooth's door opened behind its chair. The
Social Police officers who ushered Tan'elKoth inside said nothing, nor did the
creature acknowledge this arrival. The door closed again.
Electronic
screens gleamed moss green and sky blue and stone brown.
Tan'elKoth
said, "It is done."
The
creature closed its eyes for a moment, enjoying the fountain of power it could
taste flowing into Tan'elKoth and out again.
"It
is well," Tan'elKoth said, "that you have sent for me now. We have
much of which to speak"
A
filth-crusted hand waved at a screen, where a skeletal young man armed with a
shimmering sword walked unsteadily upon the surface of a river, between trunks
of saplings that twisted out from the water as though in pain. "Have you
seen this?"
"Seen
it?" Tan'elKoth snorted. "I created it."
Eyes
closed and opened again: chewing.
"The
goddess walks within that body," Tan'elKoth said. "By my will she
died; by my will, she lives again." His voice carried subterranean echoes
of triumph. "It is time, I believe, to renegotiate our deal."
"Oh?"
"I
pledged to neutralize both Caine and Pallas Ril. This I did. You pledged to
return me to my people. This you did not. Instead, I was kidnapped. Threatened.
Beaten. And maimed. Had I known your nature, there would have been no agreement
between us. Now, though—now!" The triumph rose from the caverns beneath
his tone into full dark malice. "Now the goddess walks the fields of home.
Forewarned. Forearmed. Unbeatable. Your only hope is to deal with me. Only I
can influence her. Only I can counter her power. Only I can save you."
"Where
is Avery Shanks?" the creature said tonelessly.
"With
the child." Tan'elKoth made a slicing gesture with the edge of his hand,
dismissing any possible threat. "Businessman Shanks gives you no leverage.
Your sole hope of success is the link I have with the goddess through the
child. This link depends entirely upon the child's wellbeing: It is a
function of a certain configuration of her nervous system, both physical and
chemical. If Faith even falls too deeply asleep, the link will be severed; more
convulsions—of the sort that separating her from Avery Shanks seems to cause—may
destroy the link altogether. Permanent brain changes result from even mild
emotional trauma; the effect on the link would be entirely unpredictable. You
cannot risk harm to any of us."
The
creature did not answer.
"Further,
you dare not delay. The goddess' connection to the river is also a function of
nervous configuration—right now, this connection is tenuous and unreliable, but
it will become progressively less so as she reconfigures the body she has
possessed. With the power she already has, she can reshape the body she now
wears, or duplicate her former one: at that time, she will have regained
all of her former power. Even I, perhaps, could no longer resist her."
"Then
now is the time to act."
"There
will be no better time. With every minute of delay, your task grows more nearly
impossible."
"All
right. I'm convinced."
Tan'elKoth
scowled; it seemed he had not expected to win so easily. "These, then, are
my demands—"
"Screw
your demands," the creature said, its voice gathering humid lust.
Tan'elKoth shook his head pityingly. "Do you understand anything of
what I've said?"
The
creature rose, and offered the chair to Tan'elKoth. "Sit."
"Don't
think that you can continue to bully me," Tan'elKoth began, but the
creature walked to one of the techbooth's control boards. "Stand,
then," it said emptily. "Here, look at this."
Tan'elKoth
glanced reflexively at the bright bank of screens. The creature touched a
control stud, and from each screen lanced a searing blade of light. Tan'elKoth
shielded his eyes against the glare, but from inside his skull, just beneath
that short arc of stitching that circled behind his left ear, a burst of power
slashed his brain to ribbons, and he fell facefirst to the techbooth floor.
The
creature looked down at his twitching body as though it wanted to say
something, but could not remember what.
4
Shattered,
slashed and burned, broken, deep in the shadowed retreats of his mind,
Tan'elKoth at last began to see the truth.
I
have been a fool.
The
implanted thoughtmitter was doing something to him—doing something to his mind,
to his spirit—calling to him, revealing both itself and him in a way that the
limitations of his physical senses would never have allowed him to perceive.
The blades of light had sliced away his eyes, but in robbing him of
sight they had gifted him with vision.
He
saw, vague as a half-remembered dream, the Face in the Lesser Ballroom of the
Colhari Palace: the Face that had been the highest, purest expression of the
dreams of a sleepless god. That Face had been a jigsaw sculpture, pieced
together of the clay-formed shapes of his Beloved Children, layered and built
one laboriously perfect figure at a time, into a face. A Face: the Face of
Ma'elKoth. His greatest work: The Future of Humanity.
Now,
as he reached forth his metaphoric hand toward that icon of his vanished
godhead, he saw that his art had been instead prophecy. This hand, with which
he reached for that ghost of a dream, was no hand of flesh and bone, but was
some shifting agglomeration of tiny figures, thousands of them, naked and
clothed, birthing and dying, eating, screwing, shitting, killing.
Those
tiny shapes had become his flesh and bone.
He
had become a hive of humanity, a structural framework that organized and shaped
and gave purpose to the millions of tiny lives that fed him their devotion. A
dizzy shift of perspective brought him an inch closer to the truth: The jigsaw
figures were fully life-sized. He himself was an unimaginable giant, built of a
dozen million people, twenty million, more
Laborers
and Leisuremen, Investors and Artisans, all burning for a taste of Home. Their
hunger overpowered him, left him shivering, gasping, sweating tears of human
blood.
He
had been blinded by his eyes: This world of gleaming steel and glass, of toxic
sludge and chirping electronic voices, was a fraud. A confidence game. A sucker
play. The institutionalized alienation that was the metastructure of modern
Earth had deceived him into believing him-self an individual—a deception
directed not specifically at him, but generally, over each and every one of the
millions who together made him what he was.
Each
of the millions who organized themselves into his body wore blank white fabric
tied across their faces: Magritte's lovers, kissing through eyeless hoods.
They
could not even guess that they were each part of one greater form; they
had been veiled so that they could not see what they had become. Those sheets
were tied about each neck with a hangman's noose. Tan'elKoth felt about his own
neck an identical noose, even as he became aware of an identical sheet tied
over his own head.
He
lifted his agglomerate hands and tore the veil from his eyes.
He
found that he, himself, was only a small part of something as much greater than
he as he was greater than the man who formed a curl of hangnail upon his thumb:
a titanic shapeless mountain of blind humanity, and more than a mountain.
Tan'elKoth was himself a mountain
This
amorphic pulsing mass was the size of a planet.
The
size of Earth.
And
in its roiling, shifting pseudolife, it shaped itself into a Face of its own, a
face with blankly staring eyes like lakes of people, nostrils greater than
whole nations, a mouth like the ocean, wide with an idiot's gape.
A
face like Kollberg's.
And
the hoods that cloaked the uncountable billions comprising this amoebic groping
Kollberg-mass covered only their individual eyes: their tens of billions of
mouths were open, and every single one of them howled to be fed. This was the
shared hunger for Home that burned within him: not homesickness, but starvation
indeed. That bright, sweet world on which he'd built his Face, was to this
great hungry mass only food.
How
bitter, bitter, to be so easily deceived
He
had thought he was leading them; he had thought he was deceiving
them; he had thought he was entering an alliance of convenience . . . But in
truth, he had surrendered himself years before he ever came to this world; he
was only an expression of this blind god writ small. He was nothing more than a
link between this conglomerate creature and its supper: a hand, a tongue
How
has this happened, that I must feed my world to the monster I have become?
He
stood upon the blind god's finger, as it lifted toward its slack oceanic mouth.
He was finally—inarguably, revoltingly—only a crust of snot that this creature
had picked from its nostril and was now about to consume once more. Those
gargantuan writhing lips closed around him.
The
blind god licked him from its finger, chewed him up, and swallowed him.
The
god who had been a man opened the eyes of its new body, where it lay on the
techbooth's floor. Kollberg sat on the -edge of the control board, swinging his
bare feet and holding his hands clasped between the knees of his filth- and
bloodstained dungarees.
Tan'elKoth's
prophecy had come fully to pass: The god within him lived.
For
one long, long suspension of movement, Kollberg stared at Ma'elKoth, and
Ma'elKoth returned his gaze: the blind god regarded itself thoughtfully, like a
man gazing at his image in a mirror—except that here, the mirror gazed back.
5
Pallas
Raithe stumbled forward, driven by screams.
She—for
Pallas Raithe was female in ways more profound than any detail of anatomy—clung
for a moment to the branch of a willow that had sprung from the river's bed
only minutes ago, and that already suffered the slow murder of drowning. She
held the buzzing blade of the sword out away from her stolen body and
wrapped her other arm around the branch to keep herself upright on the river's
shifting surface. Her halting spray of melody within the Song of Chambaraya
limped painfully among the contrapuntal shifts of harmony and rhythm; it
lurched from offbeat to discordant and back again, a squeal of random noise
that befouled the music, tainted and twisted it.
She
pressed her palm against her ear and pushed as though she could squeeze the
screaming out of her head.
Her
spring had quickened the virus as well.
Because
each life within the city was its own motif within the Song of Chambaraya,
Pallas Raithe was acutely aware of each cold slide of steel into flesh, of each
crunch of bone beneath a hammer, of each panted breath half held behind a
barricaded door, each erratic drumbeat of a terrified heart. She ached for
every one, and she could help none of them. Those screams were only human.
In
the symphony of agony that was the Great Chambaygen, they were barely a
whisper.
One
can think of an individual mind as a specific radio signal within the broadcast
spectrum that is the universe; following the same metaphor, a living nervous
system is a receiver, tuned by birth and experience to capture just that
signal. In seizing Raithe's body, Pallas had been able to detune his nervous
system so that it no longer captured his signal; she had warped it close enough
to her own frequency that it could receive hers.
Like
a detuned radio, where one signal bleeds over another, it received her badly
indeed, through bursts of static and waves of interference that made her blast
at shrieking overdriven volume one moment, while in the next she was buried in
a white hissing wash. Her feedback shrieks had transformed Chambaraya's Song
from stately Bach to a postmodernist screech of pain.
She
spun crazily from the willow to a nearby oak, then threw herself into the
cattail thicket along the bank. She fell to her knees, clutching the cattail
stalks to her hard, breastless chest, and vomit clawed up her throat.
Mommy
. . . Mommy, why won't you help?
Something
was happening to Faith, something Pallas Raithe had not the power to
comprehend. This body limited her perception until she could barely make out
her daughter's voice.
Touching
the river through Raithe was analogous to broadcasting a live netshow over an
antique voice-only radio: information could be exchanged, but only in the most limited
way. To reconstruct him for the necessary range of broadband infinite-speed
access, she would have to steal everything about him that made him who he
was, replace each piece with a new creation, and make everything fit and work
together in a viable living creature. Simpler to build herself a whole new
transceiver.
Simpler,
to build herself
She
knelt with her knees still in the water, and dug a trembling hand into the
clay: drawing forth minerals into the crystalline structure of bone. Even as
she shaped the bone into vaguely female form, she gathered amino and aliphatic
acids from the unnatural plant life around her. The river's water itself would
serve for blood and bile and lymph.
Kosall
within it contained the perfect template of her mind at the instant of her
death. Mind and body are expressions of each other; the pattern stored within
the blade was a template for a new body, as well.
A
single human body is not such a complex thing, when compared to a full
ecosystem.
She
built the body from within, beginning with the brain and spinal cord; the more
properly tuned nerve tissue she had, the more power she could draw to speed her
self-creation. She began to experience a certain doubling of perception: a
blurred parallax, like the vision of a person partly blind in one eye.
With
the clearer perception of the brain and nerves that lay half complete within
their cradle of clay, she felt the blind god enter her.
6
It
flowed into her like oil. She choked on grease that seeped in through her
nostrils, that slid between her lips and poured like poison into her ears, that
cupped her breasts and slipped up through her rectum and oozed into her vagina.
At the same instant, it seemed a huge abscess had burst within her belly,
spilling pus and yellowish corruption; the oil in her mouth and nose and
between her legs oozed out from within her, poisoning the world.
There
was no mystery for her here: she comprehended instantly what this suppuration
truly was. She knew the blind god, and the blind god knew her. The channel that
joined them was an inextricable part of what she was; through this channel the
blind god poured itself into the Song.
This
was what had been making Faith scream.
The
blind god flooded into and through her, and Pallas cried out as she opened
Raithe's eyes. The blind god looked out upon the jungle Ankhana had become, and
within her it murmured in Ma'elKoth's baroque contrabasso. Mmm, spectacular.
We love what you've done with the place.
For
an answer, she lashed back with the scream of the river's agony.
Please,
dear girl. The suggestion of a
wince: not of pain, but of distaste. This jungle is merely random; of course
it hurts. Growing pains, no more. Just imagine what you might do if you act,
instead, with purpose.
Images
clustered thickly, visions in her mind's eye. Every puddle became a rice paddy.
Every field burgeoned with corn and wheat. Fish swarmed the river so thickly
that men lined the banks to catch them with their hands. Cattle and swine bore
fat healthy young at need, all year round.
Is
lumber needed for the building of homes? Acorns scattered in a patch of dirt became mature oaks in days—in an
hour, just like this tangled spring of her creation.
Is
the air dirty? Overnight, a billion
new trees--a rain forest to order. Your river alone could support BILLIONS.
And
you'll kill billions to give it to them, she replied. She summoned sharp-edged images of the primal village
filled with bloating corpses, and filled their depths with the onslaught of
murder in Ankhana itself.
Ah,
yes, the disease. Sorry about that.
Sorry?
SORRY?
Quite.
You must understand, dear girl, this was an instinctive—ah, shall we say,
preconscious?—maneuver on Our part. From the days when the appellation
"blind" was more than a metaphor. An image grew within her of a newborn infant, eyes not yet open,
groping for the fit. This is the great advantage of having allowed Ma'elKoth
into Our Union: His vision makes things rather dazzlingly clear.
Think
of the disease this way: She saw an
oak spring from fertile soil, saw the sapling shoot forth branches and the
branches open leaves to the sun—leaves that shaded the ground beneath it, so
that by the time the tree was mature, all the other little trees beneath its
limbs had died for lack of light. Purely natural. Nothing malicious in the
slightest.
On
the other hand, one cannot argue with success, can one? Rather clears the board
at one swipe. Ah, well: We would take it back if We could—but this is a
difficulty you have already addressed, is it not?
And
you killed me for it!
Not
at all. We killed you because you opposed us. We killed you because you are
selfish and willful. We killed you because your opposition would kill Us. We
killed you, justifiably, in self-defense.
Look
at this: Within her consciousness
wheeled the globe of Earth, spinning silently in space: a tiny island in a vast
and hostile ocean: an island jammed with fourteen billions already, and more on
their way every second. Earth passed the brink of ecological collapse two
hundred years ago. Only an extravagant waste of irreplaceable resources
has allowed the human race to continue thus far; only a die-off comparable to
the Cretaceous can save it now. Five years from now, ten at the most, the
die-off will begin.
This
is why We killed you: because you would deny the human race what it needs to
survive. Can you say We were wrong?
She
could not even hope that this was a lie. The truth streamed into her. Twelve
billion people would die. Possibly more. She could not imagine it, not even
with the power of the god: a planet carpeted in human corpses.
Now
see Overworld: Imagine a new Earth, untouched. Imagine Earth as if it had
always been in the care of a kindly goddess. With you and your power to guide
Us, We could make of this world a perpetual garden.
She
could not even lift her head to summon a response.
She
was drowning in the truth.
She
clung to a single strand of resistance: the distant howls of her daughter's
anguish.
7
Ah,
yes, Faith. A writer of your world—Our world—once posed the problem this way:
If you could ensure the future survival and happiness of all humanity by
allowing one single wholly innocent, utterly inoffensive being to be tortured
to death, would you do it? This is a conundrum only when faced by mortals. For
gods, the answer is clear. Obvious. You find the stories wherever you look:
Attis, Dionysios, Jesus Christ—the Wicker Man, by any other name.
But
Faith— Pallas began to recover some
scraps of her outrage. She's my DAUGHTER.
But,
dear girl, it was you who gave her over to this torture. We merely use the tool
you have crafted for Us.
Faith?
Shh, Faith, I'm here. It's all right.
But
Faith could only sob. She was, after all, just a little girl: yet another in
the endless litany of innocents violated by a god. By two gods, Pallas
thought. The blind god, and me.
She
could have sung Faith a human life; instead, she had sung her own dream:
complete, perfect union with one she loved.
The
cruelty of what she had done had never occurred to her. How could I have
known?
Now
within her she saw Ma'elKoth in all his majesty: the chiseled face, the
glorious sweep of hair, chest like a barrel and shoulders like wrecking balls;
she saw the limpid purity of his eye, the transcendent nobility of his brow. At
his side stood Faith, naked, sobbing; the two of them were joined somehow,
in some way that she couldn't make her mind clearly resolve: as though Faith's
two hands had melted together within Ma'elKoth's grip. She need not suffer
so; it is you who prolongs and compounds her suffering. It is you who can
release her this very instant.
I
can save her?
The
image of Ma'elKoth extended his other hand toward Pallas, in a gesture of
peace. Of friendship. Of union. All you must do, he told her, is take
Our hand.
But
Pallas Raithe turned away.
She
didn't even know why.
8
Take
it, the image of Ma'elKoth
insisted. Does your daughter's suffering mean so little to you? Take Our
hand, and We no longer have need of the child. We will have no reason to harm
her.
Perhaps
she had lived with Hari for too long; perhaps that was it. And you'll
have no reason not to.
The
image of Ma'elKoth rolled and shifted, rippling from within like a reflection
in a water pot gone to boil. For an instant another face showed through
Ma'elKoth's classic beauty: a skull stretched with parchment and raddled with
mold and rot, tangled teeth stained grey-brown, eyes glaring with an
endless, limitless hunger that terrified her. Yes, a part of Us desires her
suffering. The love of cruelty is as human as is the love of a mother for her
child. But when you join us, your desires will color Ours. You have learned
this from the river; does not your will color its Song? Join Us.
Pallas
wept. I can't.
The
blind god showed her a girl child, perhaps eight years old, crouched in an
alley behind a Manhattan Labor tenement. She smeared snot from her lip with a
dirty hand, and coughed thickly into a drizzle of grey rain that raised
blisters on her exposed neck. Can you look at this child and say she has no
right to breathe clean air? No right to eat fresh food? Can you tell her she
has no right to be free?
The
girl picked listlessly through a mound of garbage, only to cry out in joy at
finding a dirt-greyed chicken leg with yet a few scraps of meat upon it.
I
serve the river, Pallas answered
hesitantly, searching her feelings. She's not my responsibility
But
she is. You know of her suffering and you have the power to save her. What
crime has she committed, that you can condemn her to the life you know she must
live?
She's
living in the world you made
And
We have accepted responsibility for that. We are fighting to change it. What
are you fighting for?
She
summoned an image of the headwaters of the Great Chambaygen before the days of
the Khryl's Saddle railway: the pristine crystal trickle over mossy stones
among the majesty of the God's Teeth. She summoned the rolling waves of virgin
forest below the mountain slopes, the slow curve of an eagle riding a thermal,
the splash of a grizzly haggling salmon
Come
now, dear girl. This is fatuous. Consider this bear of yours for a moment:
Should this bear threaten the life of that young girl, you would kill it
without hesitation.
She
insisted, desperately obstinate, I will not have your faceless billions
unleashed upon my world.
But
they are not faceless, not at all. "Faceless billions" is only a
phrase. It's a slogan that you invent to dehumanize them: as abstractions, it
is easy to condemn them to their hideous fate. But they are not abstract. Each
is a human being, who loves and hates, who cries when he is hurt and laughs
when she is happy. All of them are right here. Every single one has a face.
Would you like to tell them, in your own words, why they must choke to death on
the ruined cinder of Earth?
Don't
pretend you care!
You
know We care. You can feel it. Each of them is a part of Us; how can we not
care? We care precisely as much as they do.
She
had run out of answers; even in this new aspect, Ma'elKoth remained
remorselessly logical. She could not imagine allowing ten billion people to die
for the sake of bears and elk and trees. But still, she resisted, and still,
she did not know why. Perhaps because Overworld was so beautiful, and Earth was
so . . . ugly.
Only
because We were too young—too blind—to shape it properly. Overworld need not
suffer the same fate. Again, a
vision blossomed: a city surpassing Athens of the Golden Age; surpassing
Imperial Rome; a city emcompassing the best of London, Paris, St. Petersburg; a
city with the grace of Angkor Wat, the majesty of Babylon.
Even
those bears for which you seem to care so much, and all the trees—every
creature, in fact, that grows in the earth or walks upon it, swims the waters
or soars the air—can remain. And
everywhere she looked, the city opened itself to parks and woodlands, stretches
of prairie and silver curves of rivers.
Overworld
need not be a second Earth. Between Us, We can make it a second Eden: where
women bring forth young in comfort, and men no longer water their fields
with the sweat of their brow Where all that is, and all that ever shall be, is
peace.
And
this was the world of which she had always dreamed, wasn't it? Maybe that's why
she and Hari couldn't ever quite manage to be happy: that dreamworld of hers
wouldn't interest Hari one little bit. He'd hate it.
He'd
say, "Eternal peace? That's for dead people."
He'd
say, "Sure, to you it's a city. To me, it looks like a hog farm."
Of
course, the blind god told her with
a hint of irony. In Our second Eden, there is no place for a Caine.
9
She
remembered sitting in Shermaya Dole's simichair, running the cube of For
Love of Pallas Ril. "Fuck the city," Caine had said. "I'd
burn the world to save her." And she had never understood how he could say
that.
And
yet, the answer is so simple. He is evil From the raddled memory that rode the brain within the body that she
now wore rose another memory: Hari again, older now, grey in his hair, no
beard, only a smear of time-salted stubble along a jawline threatening to
become jowls, shrugging in a sedan chair at the rim of a crater high in the
Transdeian mountains, near Khryl's Saddle. "The Future of Humanity,"
Hari had said, slowly, a little sadly, as though he were recounting an ugly but
unavoidable truth, "is gonna have to fuck off."
How
could he say that? Could he really believe it?
You
see? We are not your enemy. He is. He is evil incarnate. Shall We list some of
his crimes?
Oathbreaker.
She saw his face through Faith's
eyes of memory, as he struggled in the grip of the Social Police and swore that
he would save her. As he swore he would make everything turn out right.
Liar.
Images cascaded from For Love of
Pallas Ril, as Caine ruthlessly and repeatedly lied, even manipulating the
King of Cant—his closest friend—into risking his own life and the lives of
every man he led.
Murderer.
She experienced again finding him
in a dank back alley of Ankhana, at the end of Servant of the Empire. She
experienced again holding him in her lap as he bled out his life from a deep
belly wound, left by the sword of a guard outside the bedchamber of Prince-Regent
Toa-Phelathon. She experienced again the shock and sickness of recognizing that
the rag ball on the cobbles nearby was no rag ball, but was the blood and
shit-stained head of the Prince-Regent, murdered in his bed.
She
could not argue with any of these charges, and yet—
And
yet
Caine
In
the instant she thought his name, she felt his rhythm in the Song: a savage
throb of rage and despair masked with dark cheer. She could feel him where he
sat at this very instant: chained to a sweating limestone wall, naked in his
own shit, gangrene eating his useless, lifeless legs.
She
saw the star of absolute white she had glimpsed once before, in the Iron Room,
as she had lain bound upon an altar while he bargained with a god for her life.
He burned raw surging energy, sizzling, profoundly alive.
That
star
She
remembered facing the god Ma'elKoth in the battle that had raged across the
skies above Victory Stadium, seven years ago. She could have crushed him—the
river had sung power unimaginable—but the cost of that victory would have been
the deaths of tens of thousands of his Beloved Children and untold millions of
the trees and grasses, fish and otters and lives of all kinds that fed the
river's Song. So she had offered up her life, and Hari's, for the sake of those
numberless others.
All
these years she had blamed him for turning away from her. But it was I who
turned away. He was less important to me than creatures I had never seen, and
who had never seen me. How, then, can I claim to have loved him? With the love
of a goddess, perhaps: the love that cherishes all lives equally, but none
especially. Being both goddess and woman has made me a poor goddess, and a
worse woman.
Now
the choice she faced was a mirror-reversal of that one: She could take the
offered hand—she could cooperate, instead of kill and in so doing save not only
the massed billions of Earth, but save her daughter as well.
And
still, she did not.
Could
not.
Could
not forget what they had done to Faith. Could not reward them for it.
Could not become an accomplice to her daughter's rape. Could not, finally, do
as she was told.
Because
she didn't like them.
Illumination
dawned within her, and in the new light she saw what had held her back.
It
was Raithe.
She
had reconfigured his body—and his body had reconfigured her. It shaped the way
her will could be expressed; it shaped even her self-image, and the way she
thought. She was now something other than she had been, before. She was now a
little more human.
More
like Caine.
There
had burned in Raithe a star of his own.
Now
at last she could understand why Hari would get so angry when she would ask him
to release his unhappiness and flow with the river. She thought wonderingly, I
suppose that if it's wrong to be unhappy, human beings wouldn't be so good at
it.
But
this is only a reflex dear girl; an artifact of the body you have seized. If
you take a different body, your answer may change.
This
body is my body. This answer is my answer.
The
stakes are too vast to be settled by an accident of biology.
Are
they? Then, I suppose you would have to call this— She allowed herself a bitter interior smile. —bad
luck.
She
resummoned the blind god's world-Rome, that Edenic city of peace overspreading
the whole of Overworld. She sent their joint vision soaring through its skies
and diving among its shining white buildings, through its streets and rivers,
into its gardens and parks, among its pools and trees, through bedrooms and
dens, searching the whole of the blind god's fond future.
What
do you seek?
She
found bakers and butchers, scribes and dustmen, farmers and gleaners, teachers,
storytellers, playful children, and amorous lovers. She found carters and
coopers and masons and millers; she found housekeepers, potters, glaziers, and
smiths. She found every sort of human being save one.
What?
For what do you search?
l
am looking for a white star.
Think
not of beauty; beauty is a seducer. There are lives at stake. What of the
children?
A
wise man once told me, she thought
succinctly, that compassion is admirable, in mortals. In gods, it is a vice.
You
would kill the human race for the sake of one man?
No,
I suppose I wouldn't. A slow
certainty grew within her heart and swelled until it spread out among the trees
in the newborn Ankhanan jungle. But who says it's one or the other?
You
serve either life, or you serve death.
What
kind of life? This fight isn't between life and death. It's between your life
and his life. Guess what? I like his better.
He
is evil. You have seen his evil, and know its truth.
Another
wise man once told me that when somebody starts talking about good and evil, I
should keep one hand on my wallet.
She
felt a wash of quiet resignation that was almost a shrug, and then
a darkening of tone to bleakly impersonal threat. If you are not with
Us, you are against Us.
She
passed one infinite instant examining herself for fears and second thoughts.
She found several of the former, but of the latter none at all. Let it be
so.
There
came a long, considering pause.
Then:
We
have your daughter.
And
she is your only weapon, Pallas
answered with all the coldness of Raithe's wintry stare. You dare not harm
her.
Perhaps
so. You, on the other hand
You,
We can hurt.
I0
A
universe away, in the cool green glow of electronic screens that showed a thin
young man kneeling on the surface of a river with a sword in his hand, the body
that had once contained Ma'elKoth rumbled, "It is better this way."
The
body that had once contained Arturo Kollberg replied, "More fun."
"Yes,
fun. Like the Labor clinic."
"Yes."
"Yes."
In
perfect unison, they murmured, "It's a pity there's no way to tell Caine
that we're raping his wife."
II
In
that instant, Pallas Raithe began to die.
All
across Ankhana, trees and grasses and flowering plants sagged, wilted,
softening and decaying, dripping stinking black goo while still on the vine.
This black goo had a chemical reek, of acids and metals and burning oil, and
where it dribbled over stone and wood it left vividly permanent stains. Ivy
that had scaled the heights of the Colhari Palace wilted, sweating the black
oil; corn that had sprung from city streets curled and withered and bled across
the stones. Where the oil drained into the river, it killed fish and smothered
reeds; in the stables where oat bins had become burgeoning gardens, it flowed
around the lips of stamping horses, who choked and vomited and fell kicking to
the earth.
The
black oil burned Pallas Raithe where it oozed across her skin. The burns
swelled with blisters that blackened and burst to release oil of their own that
burned her burns again, sizzling deeper and deeper into her flesh. She pushed
herself out from among the rotting cattails, back into the river, letting the
water close over her, but it could not wash away this acid. It wasn't on her
skin; it came through her skin.
From
the inside.
She
clutched at the dying willow, shaking. She drew the river's power—her power—to
heal this body that she wore, to build it afresh and renew flesh and bone, but
that only brought forth a thicker flow of the black oil; the black oil was part
of her, part of the river, part of her power, and it ate Pallas Raithe's flesh
as fast as she could heal. The river howled her pain in a voice of human
screams and bird cries, of cat snarls and the shrieks of wounded rabbits, and
only a tiny fraction of this pain was physical.
I
might pray for help—but to whom? Whom does the goddess ask for help? What am I
supposed to do?
—you
can fight
The
remembered voice was Hari's, of course; what other advice did he ever offer?
Fighting was his whole life.
—quit
whining get off your ass and fucking FIGHT
She
could never make him understand. Some things cannot be fought; some things just
are. Day and night. The turn of seasons. Life. Death.
Horseshit,
she remembered him saying. What
the fuck is a house, then? It's how you fight the seasons. What's a campfire?
It's how you fight the night. What's medicine? It's how you fight death. That's
what love is, too. Just because you're not gonna win is no fucking reason to
give up.
All
right, she exhaustedly told that
remembered voice, surrendering. All right. But you have to help me. Hari, I
need your help.
I
AM helping you, goddammit
Which
was so like him that it made her smile while the river's oil-fouled current
washed away her tears.
She
pulled herself up from the water, carrying Kosall, climbing one-handed the
branches of the dying willow. Muscles shivered with oncoming shock;
blister-scarred palms blistered anew, swelling into solid boils of blackened
corruption. She turned back to the half-formed body she had built in the cradle
of the Great Chambaygen's clay. As she feverishly willed that body into
existence, building it of clay and stone and river water, the blind god entered
her more fully, more roughly, thrusting itself into her with the overpowering
force of billions of desperate lives. It would let her rebuild herself.
It wanted
her to.
Already
she could feel, with the half-formed nerves of the Pallas Ril body in
the clay beside her, the searing poison of the black oil up and down the river.
The more life she summoned, the more death it produced. The more one they
became.
She
could see, now, through the eyes of the Kollberg and Tan'elKoth bodies in the
techbooth in San Francisco: could feel the avid lust with which they watched
her on the POV monitors: could feel the anticipation of victory building like
an orgasm, as they breathlessly watched her create a woman's body from the
earth. She looked down at the half-shaped clay, at its swell of breast and
curve of hip, and then she turned away.
She
could not do this to her river.
She
could focus her power upon the sword itself, one swift twist of will destroying
it and herself together—but that would release her pattern from the blade into
the river. Destroying the sword would flood her river with her consciousness,
and the blind god would ride that flood forever.
The
blind god had her in Chinese handcuffs: every move she made tightened its hold
upon her.
She
had to retreat: to throw herself into the lack, become nothing in that sea of
nonexistence. Unmake herself. Using the partial nervous system she had created
in the riverbank, she began to restructure Raithe's nervous system to its
original resonance.
The
blind god hummed its satisfaction, like a chess player who has caught his
opponent in a particularly gratifying fork. Through the two sets of eyes in
the Studio's ISP booth, she saw the swing of Actors' POVs and understood the
blind god's new pleasure. Actors closed in upon her, crept closer and closer,
their breath going short, penises stiffening and labia moistening with the
blind god's lust. These Actors were tools of the blind god already; once she
was again nothing more than a pattern bound in the magick of the sword, she
could not stop any new hand upon its hilt from calling her forth but she would
not come forth the same.
A
different hand upon Kosall would bring a different goddess: one bent already to
the blind god's will.
The
ring of Actors closed around her. She could feel them with the blind god's
perception: she knew precisely where each one was, knew his name, her history,
the whole of every one of them. She gathered power in the river: she could
destroy them with a gesture—and the blind god laughed. Let her kill them.
It
had many, many Actors.
And
even this shrug of power had quickened the venom that poured through her.
Already the river stank of death for a mile downstream; already trees
upstream sweated pinpricks of black oil, pocking their trunks with growing
lesions of dead bark.
Please,
she begged herself. A little
inspiration, that's all I ask. She dived deeper into the Song, begging the
river itself for any clue it might offer. Even just a hint.
And
a small, timid voice with the querulousness of nervous exhaustion whispered
from the far side of Faith's tears: Well, if all you're worried about is Aktiri,
I think I may be able to help you.
12
The
shade of Hannto the Scythe wasted no time trying to form thoughts and words and
explanations: he knew They would come for him, and he knew Their billions were
an ocean in which he would drown. Instead, he took his understanding of a
technique of Ma'elKoth's and passed it through the link. It was a slight—even
minuscule—alteration of local physics, a tiny shift in the resonance of reality
itself that could be made self-sustaining.
He
felt her puzzlement as though it were a question in reply, but They were
closing in, sucking him down, and he had time to offer her only a fading memory
of the Colhari Palace, and a reminder that Ma'elKoth had once suffered an Aktir
problem, too.
And
then the sea of lives dragged him under, and swallowed him.
13
Holding
her nerves of clay in mindview, Pallas built the image at the forefront of her
mind: a spherical lattice of shimmering violet, as the shade had shown her. It
was an elegant variant of a simple Shield, retuned to near-ultraviolet from its
usual warm gold. As she channeled the river's power into it, it vanished from
her mindview: it had reached frequencies she could no longer perceive.
Its
centerpoint hovered an inch behind the forehead of the Pallas Ril of clay that
grew upon the riverbank, an inch above the midpoint between her eyes. She sang
its melody into the Song, and it expanded like a slow-motion shock wave,
enclosing all that it touched: the dockside, the warehouses, the caverns below,
Old Town behind her, the Warrens, Alientown, and even the South Bank across the
river: a million, two million, ten million times the volume of the field
Ma'elKoth had set about the Colhari Palace, and more.
The
clay Pallas shifted and bubbled, and smoke rose from its eyes.
The unfinished nerves within that body of clay were less than ideally
efficient, and to overpower any circuit beyond its efficiency causes energy to
be lost as waste heat.
She
stripped herself from Raithe's body, and his nerves spasmed with shock and
agony. In so doing, she rewrote herself within the sword, overlaid her pattern
there with the memories she shared with Raithe; should a mind ever draw her
back to consciousness again, she would remember all they had learned.
She
could not return him to himself entirely; she could heal neither the burns of
his body nor the memories she had scorched into his brain, but what she could
do, she did. And she left within him the answer he would require, should he
choose to fight on in this war against the blind god: the hiding place of her
weapon. It was the only way she could thank him for saving her.
She
knit one final command into his brain, hardwired it like an instinct
Defend
the sword.
—then
she poured what was left of her will into the clay.
The
final burst of power that made her elegant invisible Shield self-sustaining
detonated the clay half-body of Pallas Ril in an explosion that left a smoking
crater on the dockside and blew Raithe spinning backward through the air all
the way across the river.
The
sword fell from his hands, splashed into the oil-fouled waters of the Great
Chambaygen, and vanished into their oil-sealed murk; Raithe crashed into one of
the enormous limestone blocks that formed the base of the Old Town wall, then
he, too, fell into the river. He floated facedown, limp as the wilted leaves of
the trees that rotted around him.
And
the black oil that leaked from those trees burned like gasoline.
I4
A
hundred yards downstream, a man called J'Than—or Francis Rossi, depending on
which world he walked—crouched behind the gunwale of a boat canted half-over in
the branches of a dying willow. In the narrow brick right-of-way between the
Palnar Drygoods warehouse and the steel-works, a likewise dual-named
woman—Cholet or Tina Welch—pressed herself against a wall, gasping. On the roof
of that same warehouse, a pair of experienced thieves from out of town—from
way, way out of town—suddenly paused in the act of belaying a rope they
had planned to use to rappel down to the dockside.
Each
of these—and seven more like them—had been creeping toward the man on the
river, had been watching intently the shimmering sword in his hand, had come
closer and closer while the eldritch jungle sprang to life unheeded around
them, had slid untouched past the weeping black oil to approach their goal.
And
all of them had felt a prickling, tingling wave pass over and through them, an
instant before the riverside erupted in a gout of power that spread flames over
the oil—flames that sped outward, reaching hungrily toward them and the black
oil that dripped from the jungle on all sides. Each of them felt as though he
or she now awakened from a bad dream, a dream that had carried them toward this
moment without volition. Each of them said to himself or herself, with minor
variations ac-cording to their individual usages, What the fuck was I
THINKING?
And
all of them, finding their wills now their own, ran like hell.
I5
In
the techbooth of the Interlocking Serial Program, the blind god talked to
itself.
It
had two mouths here. The voice from one was deep and round and mellow as honey;
the voice from the other was a harsh cindery rasp. Which voice spoke mattered
not at all, because it was only talking to itself.
"A
setback," one murmured, as the POV screen that had shown a view of
Ankhana's decaying-jungle dockside in flames flickered to white static.
"Only a setback."
"Not
even serious," one replied, as another screen that showed the black oil
burning on the surface of the river went white, and another.
The
booth became brighter and brighter as the POV screens exchanged views of
Ankhana in flames for rectangles of featureless electronic snow. The blind god
understood what Pallas had done as completely as Pallas had comprehended the
blind god, and it was not in the least dismayed. The link to the river shut
down only an instant after the last of the screens blanked, and Faith
Michaelson sobbed in some remote corner of the blind god's mind.
The
city was now sealed against the Winston Transfer.
"Do
we need Actors to get the sword?"
"I
should say not. We have troops. Combat troops. Social Police. Armed men.
We can take the city, if we want."
"We
want"
"Yes.
We need a story. We need a story to keep the people behind us. To keep everyone
on board."
"Nothing
could be simpler. We can tell them we have to invade."
"The
city's in flames."
"We
don't have any choice."
"Of
course we don't have any choice."
"It's
the only way to save Caine."
"That's
true. It's the only way to save Caine."
The
hiss of electronic snow from the techbooth speakers was joined by a wash of
rusty, breathless cackles—innumerable MIDI files of canned laughter culled from
netshows around the globe—which was the blind god snickering at its own joke.
There
is a sense in which the matrix of stories that we call history is itself a
living thing. There is a structure to it, a shape, that we call its body; it has
certain habitual progressions that we call its movement. We say history
advances, or retreats, that it recalls this and forgets that; we look to it as
a teacher, as a parent, as an oracle.
We
say and do these things, and somehow we still delude ourselves that we are
speaking metaphorically.
History
is not only alive, it is aware.
It
meets every test of consciousness. History anticipates. History intends.
History wills.
Its
anticipation, intention, and will are the sums of ours; it vectors our hopes
and fears and dreams with the stern logic of the inanimate. And there are times
when history lifts the hammer, and times when it bends the bow, and there are
times when it draws a long, long breath.
NINETEEN
Within
its smothering blanket of sudden jungle, Ankhana writhed.
This
was an instant holiday, a festival, a Carnevale: a suspension of the ordinary
rules of life and society. How could one go to work or to the market, when the
streets were choked with trees? Grain bins had burst across the city as mills
vomited sprouts, and shoots sprang from drying seeds. Door planks shot forth
branches that burgeoned with leaves; dungheaps transformed instantly into
high-mounded gardens.
For
some it was a time of joy and release and childlike play, to dance among the
waves of new-sprung life; for others, it was a time of profound contemplation,
a time to wonder at the irreducible strangeness of the universe. For most, it
was a time of terror.
Most
people cannot face a world without rules.
Those
rules of life and society—rules that are so often railed against as stifling
and degrading—serve a profound purpose: they provide patterns of behavior that
allow one the comfort of believing one understands the rules of the game.
Without rules, there is no game. There is only the jungle.
This
particular jungle swarms with tigers.
Humanity
is the only species that is its own natural enemy. The virus that had eaten its
way into so many brains had digested already most of the inhibitions and
repressions that make civilization possible. The instant jungle dissolved the
final trace of even the most elemental animal caution, which had been the last
restraint.
Now
was the time to hunt and feed.
Two
types of people best dealt with the sudden jungle. The first were the sort for
whom rules never change. To a bishop of the Church of the Beloved Children of
Ma'elKoth, for example, the laws of his god transcended any temporal
consideration, even such a shattering transformation as this; to the soldiers
finally charged with the arrest of Duke Toa-M'Jest, orders were orders, whether
issued in a garrison, a tent, or the branches of an oak that had sprung from
bare earth ten minutes before.
The
second were the type of people for whom there never had been any rules: the
ones who had always lived in the jungle.
The
last few Cainists still at liberty banded together to defend their families at
a warehouse in the Industrial Park, waiting grimly with spear and sword and
bow, dispatching each human tiger who hunted too near; His Grace the Honorable
Toa-M'Jest, Duke of Public Order—who had once been His Majesty the King of
Cant, and before that had been Jest, a young pickpocket, petty thief, and
aspiring thug—scented the approach of pack hunters with instinctive animal
wariness.
He,
like the others of the second type, actually felt safer now than he had before,
when he'd still had to pretend to be following the rules. For the rest of
Ankhana, there was only the jungle.
2
When
he first glimpsed the line of infantry picking their way through the rubble-choked
streets of Alientown toward his improvised stockade, Toa-M'Jest realized that
he'd held on too long.
The
stockade wall on which he stood rose from the ruins of what once had been a dry
goods store at the corner of Moriandar Street and Linnadalinn Alley. It was
overspread by a broad canopy of antisprite netting, now burdened with a new
growth of spreading hemp leaves sticky with resin; Toa-M'Jest parted the jungle
of dangling weighted ropes and squinted at the advancing troops.
In
their vanguard strode an officer in the formal dress-blues of the Eyes of God.
Toa-M'Jest
clenched his teeth to keep a string of curses behind them. He knew exactly what
was going on, and it was bad. Their orders must have come from the Patriarch
himself, and he had a pretty damned good idea what those orders were.
The
crazy old bastard had fucked him.
The
Duke turned to the Grey Cat alpha at his side. The alpha, like the pride he
commanded, wore the latest in experimental antimagick combat technology: a full
bodysuit of overlapping jointed steel plates, painted with protective runes of
silver. It made the usually lithe and nimble Cats lumber like overweight bears,
but in the close-quarters combat of the war in the caverns below the city,
mobility counted for less than did protection.
"This
is what I've been worried about," Toa-M'Jest said grimly. "Looks like
the elves have taken control of those officers."
"Your
Grace?" the alpha said blankly, his voice muffled within his steel helm.
"Nobody
gets in here, you understand? We can't trust anyone but ourselves. Those poor
bastards out there probably think we called for reinforcements. They might even
think they're acting at the order of the Patriarch himself. But no matter what they
say, we can't let them inside the stockade."
"But,
Your Grace," the alpha said dubiously, "what if their orders do come
from the Patriarch?"
"We
can sort all that out in a day or two, after things calm down." Toa-M'Jest
waved a hand at the jungle that choked the ruined city. "You've seen what
the damned elves have done to us. We will take no more chances. No one enters.
That's an order."
He
turned away and clambered down the ladder before the alpha could reply. He had
three more alphas—the commanders at each wall—who needed the same order, and
pretty fucking soon, too.
He
winced as he scrambled through the rubble that choked what once had been
Moriandar Street. He hated that his feet must touch the ground; every step
brought a nervous grimace. The fuckers were still fighting down there.
How could they keep on? His men had taken prisoners—he had interrogated some
himself—ragged and malnourished, untreated wounds inflamed and suppurating,
most of them sick with the fever and raving. Any second he expected the cobbles
to sprout a thicket of clawed hands—for the street to liquefy beneath him and
then close over his head like quicksand as those hands drew him down, and down,
and down
But
as soon as he moved clear of the canopy of antisprite netting, he worried less
about the caverns beneath than what might come at him from above. Damned
sprites‑
Shit,
he hated those little fuckers.
Now
and again, treetoppers had slipped out of concealed cavern exits and taken a
terrible toll with their yard-long birdlances of needle-pointed steel. The
sprite attacks were only occasionally fatal, but this was cold comfort. The
damned sprites were naturally Cloaked; you don't even know you're under attack
till you feel the lance jam into your eye. Usually your right eye. It
was their favorite target.
Toa-M'Jest
paused for a moment when he came within sight of the wreckage of Alien Games.
This was where Kierendal's Faces had fought their last desperate rearguard
action, to cover a retreat into the caverns. For more than an hour, the air
around AG had been an inferno of lightning and flame as the Thaumaturgic Corps
attacked and elvish mages within answered with power of their own. At the last,
the mages had detonated the building itself to seal the cavern entrance below;
now, days later, the flattened rubble still smoldered.
The
Duke was captured not by memories of the battle, though, but by his wistful
recollection of all the happy hours and days he had passed here. Didn't know
how good I had it, he thought. Kier, if you're still alive down there, I
wish I could tell you how much I miss you. He shook his head and moved on.
Clinging
to the past was not a survival trait.
None
of his troops here had understood, when he had put his men to the task of
constructing this stockade of stone. Some had questioned the utility; their
enemies, after all, had been driven underground. From whom did he expect attack
on the surface?
He
hadn't bothered to explain; as the Patriarch sometimes liked to say, he did not
require their understanding, only their obedience.
He
certainly wasn't going to tell them that the whole Empire was tumbling down a
giant pissoir. He certainly wasn't going to tell them that Toa-Sytell had gone
crazy. He certainly wasn't going to tell them that he planned to hunker down
here for a few days, then step out once Toa-Sytell collapsed, and end up in
charge. It looked now, though, like he'd been a little too optimistic.
He
should have cut his losses and bolted days ago.
Wishful
thinking, that's what it was. He'd decided he could stay and make things work
out because that's what he wanted to happen. He liked being a Duke; he
liked being a confidant of the Patriarch, the head of the Eyes of God, wealthy
and respected and getting more tail than a man his age has any right to dream
of, let alone expect. And he'd really thought he could do some good, too. He
had a talent for bringing order out of chaos; he'd shown that during the Second
Succession War, when his Knights of Cant had become the capital's unofficial
police force. When this shitstorm finally ebbed, he might be the only one left
who could put everything back together again.
So
he'd hung on, waiting, hoping for a break, while everything slid down the
pissoir all around him. He couldn't even count on his own men. There had been
fights, with fist and sword; there had been surreptitious knifings in the dark,
and even one wild brawl between a pride of Cats and two T-Corps mages that had
ended with five Cats and both thaumaturges dead.
Still
he had held on. He might be the last sane man in the government. If he ran, who
would take care of the Empire?
But
the world, he reminded himself as
he slipped under the anti-sprite canopy that sheltered the north wall of the
stockade, doesn't give trophies for good intentions. He had a motto, one
that had kept him alive through many a dangerous time: When the prize is
survival, second place is dead last.
These
words echoed inside his head as he heard a starchy voice from beyond the wall
proclaim loudly that it was in possession of an Imperial Warrant for the arrest
of Toa-M'Jest, formerly Duke of Public Order, on charges of treason,
conspiracy, and crimes against the Empire. "Shit," he muttered.
"Time to go."
No
point troubling with either of the other walls; this was obviously a
coordinated operation. There was only one direction left.
Down.
Without
another word to anyone, he ran.
His
instincts told him he might be able to bargain with Kierendal and her subs;
those same instincts warned him not to bluster or bluff or argue with these
soldiers, and so when they met in the center of the stockade, searching for
him, he was long, long gone, down into the caverns his erstwhile gang had
ruled: a hare down its warren-run, five steps ahead of the hounds.
3
Night
fell on Ankhana.
It
was a night without a moon, and rolling clouds smothered the stars. Some scarce
unshuttered windows—even scarcer open doors—sparked yellow lamplight here and
there across the city, but the only real light as dusk dissolved to full black
night was the bloody snarl of flame on the dockside.
In
that hellglow, men and women pounced and fled and fought and died; in that
hellglow constables pounded heads and backs and occasionally each other. In
that hellglow, soldiers marched out through a dying jungle, and pike brigades
became bucket brigades.
The
river burned along with the buildings, and water was useless: it only spread
the oil so much the faster. Soldiers with shovels scratched for dirt and sand
to throw on the flames. Soon officers gave over shouting orders and
encouragement, and seized shovels and buckets of their own.
Sixteen
kilometers upstream from Ankhana, one hundred meters north of the Great
Chambaygen's bank, a cube of twilit air shimmered itself into a prismatic
spray. The burst of dusk-darkened color resolved itself into twelve men who
wore armor of metalized ballistic cloth over semirigid carbon-fiber ceramic
leaves backed with Sorbathane. Their helmets were made of identical
carbon-fiber ceramic, and each helmet had a full face shield of smoked
armorglass inlaid with hair-fine silver wires.
Instantly
they marched toward the river, and the cube of air shimmered once more behind
them.
The
first man to reach the river laid his microfiber pack on the bank, unzipped its
plastic sealer, and pulled a clear nylon lanyard. With a hiss, the pack
unfolded itself and inflated to become a large boat, into which the balance of
the dozen men began stowing their gear in Velcro-lined pouches along the gas
cells. Precisely five meters upstream, the leader of the second dozen began to
unzip his own pack. A third dozen marched toward a point five meters farther
upstream, while a fourth shimmered into existence.
Of
all the men on that riverbank that night, four wore different armor. The design
of their armor differed only in that the ballistic cloth was not metalized, and
the smoked glass of their visors had no lacing of silver wires. The boats were
lashed together in groups of three; one of these four men took his place at the
stern of the lead boat of each group and held a staff in the water, trailing
behind like a rudder. Each of these four men produced a large piece of polished
quartz, held it in his other hand, and concentrated.
The
boats slipped silently into the gathering darkness.
In
the city that was their destination, friars choked and died in the river as
they struggled to retrieve the body of a fallen Ambassador.
Below
that city, down in the dark, beneath the sheltering stone‑
-A
killer chained to a limestone wall stared unseeing, and touched with his mind
strands of darkness deeper than the absolute night in which he lay.
—A
human who had been a prince of the First Folk lay twisting in mortal fever,
hours from death.
—A
former duke wandered, lost, in permanent impenetrable black.
And
a man named Habrak—who had been Sergeant of the Guard in the Donjon for twelve
years with only a single stain upon his record; who was a man of the first
type, for whom the rules never change; who had faced the sudden jungle and the
surge of black oil and now the flames that threatened to swallow his city with
the same stolid, profound, unimaginative devotion to his duty; who had
believed, in his heart, that in his thirty-seven years of military service he
had done so much and seen so much more that he was no longer surprised by
anything—could only stare with mouth agape when His Radiant Holiness, the
Patriarch Toa-Sytell himself, limped down the Courthouse stairs to the basement
guardroom.
4
The
Patriarch's skin had gone slack and corpse-waxy, and his eyes drowned in pools
of bruise; his lips were cracked, seeping blood that trailed down his chin. His
robe of office was torn, stained with food and blood and vomit, and embers
climbed its hem along a patch of the black oil. He had for escort six nervous,
sweating, lip-licking Eyes of God officers who wore full hauberks and chain
coifs under steel helms, who walked with bared swords in unsteady hands.
Habrak
finally remembered himself and sprang from his desk chair to attention. The
Patriarch leaned upon the gate between them as though only those steel bars
kept him on his feet.
"Sergeant,"
the Patriarch croaked. "It's time."
He
paused, and glared at Habrak expectantly, waiting for a response. "Come here,
man. Don't make me shout. My throat hurts. Didn't you hear me? It's time."
Harbrak
swallowed. He moved away from his desk, closer to the gate, stopping a
respectful arm's length away. "Time for what, Your Radiance?" he said
carefully.
"Time
to kill Caine."
"Your
Radiance?"
The
Patriarch mopped his raddled brow with a shaking hand. "It was the fire,
you see? That's how I knew. Foolish. I was so foolish. I thought I could be
clever. I thought I could use him, but he has used me. Just like be-fore. The
city burns. Burns it burns like before. You remember? You remember
before? You remember the city in flames?"
"I
do, Radiance," Habrak said grimly.
"Go,
then. Handle it yourself." That shaking hand shot forth between the bars
of the gate and seized Habrak's shoulder. "You're a good man. I can trust
you. I've always known I can trust you."
"Thank
you, Radiance."
"What—"
The Patriarch's eyes drifted closed, and Habrak thought the man might be about
to faint, but even as he lifted a hand to catch his sovereign, those blackened
eyes popped open again and fixed him with a glare as sharply inhuman as an
eagle's. "What is your name, again?"
"Habrak,
Radiance. Sergeant Habrak."
"Habrak,
don't try to be lever. Keep it simple. That was my mistake. I thought I was
clever enough that I didn't have to keep it simple." "Keep what
simple, Radiance?"
"Killing
Caine."
"Sir?"
Toa-Sytell
gripped Habrak's other shoulder as well, and drew him close to the bars that
kept them apart. His breath stank of corruption. "Do it yourself, Habrak
Do it. Take your club. Go down into the Shaft. Bash in his skull. Do you
understand?"
Habrak
stiffened. He had never questioned an order in his life. "Yes, sir."
"And
when you're done, feed his body to the grinder."
"Yes,
sir."
"Bash
him. Bash him good. Grind him up. Bash him, and grind him. You will do that?
You will bash him and grind him?"
Habrak
saluted. "Yes, sir. But, sir—?"
"Yes?"
"What
about Assumption Day, sir?"
"Forget
about Assumption Day," the Patriarch muttered acidly. "Everyone else
has."
"Yes,
sir."
"You're
a good man, Habrak. You are about to save the Empire. And his head. Save his
head, too. Just like the Empire."
"Sir?"
"We'll
need his head. For the pole."
"Yes,
sir."
"You
will not leave the Donjon without Caine's head. Give him your key," the
Patriarch said, indicating one of the Eyes. "The key to this gate."
Habrak
dutifully removed it from his large iron ring and handed it through the bars to
the Eye of God. The officer clutched it stiffly.
"The
next thing to pass through this gateway will be Caine's head, do you
understand?" the Patriarch said to the Eye. "No one enters. No one
leaves. This gate will not be opened until someone comes up those stairs out of
the Donjon and hands Caine's head to you. Do you understand?"
The
officer said, "Yes, sir."
"If
this gate opens for any other reason, all six of you will have your heads
on poles instead. I don't care if Ma'elKoth Himself orders you to open this
gate. He may punish you in your next life, but I can kill you in this
one."
The
officers eyed each other nervously.
He
turned back to Habrak. "And do not hope that they will falter, or that
some other may open this gate. I have dismissed the guards in the Courthouse
above. They could not be trusted. Above you now there are only the Eyes of God.
They will be watching."
The
Patriarch nodded as though agreeing with some inaudible comment. "I'll be
in the chapel."
Then
he turned and limped back up the stairs.
Habrak
stared after him for a moment, then for a moment longer he looked at the Eyes
of God, who looked back at him and at each other, and who seemed decidedly
frightened. He picked up his ring of keys in one hand, slung the thong of
his iron-bound club around the other, and unlocked the iron-barred door that
closed the stairway down to the Donjon.
"Hmp,"
he muttered under his breath. He'd almost left without a knife. Can't cut
somebody's head off with a club, can you? From a drawer of his desk
he got a large, single-edged dirk and stuck it behind the belt that girdled his
armor.
Then
he tromped down the stairs to kill Caine.
5
Jest
had been deep in the darkness for a long, long time.
By
the time claws had finally reached out of the infinite midnight of the caverns,
seized him, and dragged him into this larger darkness, Jest knew exactly who he
was and what he would do. He was a survivor. He would survive.
"I'm
unarmed. I surrender," he repeated, as he had ever since he had escaped into
the caverns a step ahead of the Eyes of God. He'd said it again and again, over
and over, endlessly, for what must have been days, his throat dry, his lips
cracking, his eyes so long benighted that he had lost the memory of light.
"I'm unarmed, and I surrender."
He
continued until his silence was invited by a cuff to the back of his head.
This
darkness was textured with sound: shufflings and grunts and snorts and
sniffles, the occasional metallic rustle of armor or the scrape of a blade on a
stone.
His
Grace the Honorable Toa-M'Jest, Duke of Public Order, would in similar
circumstances have been inclined to bluster: to remind his captors of his
importance, and hint at Imperial reprisals for any harm he might suffer. His
Majesty the King of Cant would have been inclined to bargain: to invite his
captors to set a price for his freedom, to negotiate a deal and then honor it
or not, as suited his advantage. But both of those men had been eaten by the
darkness.
Here
there was only Jest, as his mother had named him: a cruel joke played on her by
her body and the world.
"Welcome,
Your Grace, to my humble home."
The
voice was Kierendal's, though he wasn't sure that voice was the right
word. It was curiously toneless, clear and soft, and sounded so near that he should
have been able to feel her breath upon his neck. But he could feel only rough
claws that dug into his arms and held him upright. He could see only the
geometric flicker and amorphic pulse of his eyelights. And this place smelled
like the fucking Shaft. "Kier—" he began.
"Hsst!
Don't say that name! Don't ever say that name." The voice slid from
cold panic to a cynical drawl. "It's bad luck to name the unquiet
dead."
"Dead—?"
"Thrice
dead. That feya died by her own hand: she drank poison. Then, some days later,
she died of grief, at Commons' Beach. Finally, later still, she gave her life
to protect her people, fighting the might of the Empire in the burning ruins of
her own home."
"Three
times dead and still kicking," Jest said softly, without mockery. "She
must be tough."
"Once,
perhaps. No more."
"If,
ah, that lady is dead, then who am I talking to?"
The
darkness replied, "I am that unhappy feya's vengeful corpse."
"Huh. I thought your voice sounded a little funny," he ventured, but
received no answering chuckle.
"It
is not my voice you hear."
"Yeah,
all right," he said, thinking, Fuck me, she's as crazy as Toa-Sytell. But
he had no other hope. "I want to make you an offer."
"Of
course you do."
"I
can tell you where the Cats, the Eyes, and the Thaumaturgic Corps are
stationed—positions and numbers. I can tell you where our weapons and supplies
are. I can map out our patrol routes through the caverns. I personally drew up
the plans for the main assault—"
"And
what good is this information to me?"
She
couldn't be so crazy as that. Could she? "It'll win your war for
you," he said patiently.
"There
is no war."
"Lady,
it sure as fuck looked like a war from our side."
Silence.
More
shufflings and shiftings of weight.
Thick,
wet drips and drops: perhaps the drool of something large and hungry.
"Your
army—those human troops of whom you speak—" the voice finally said, dark
and slow and empty, "have other concerns, more pressing than who might
range these caverns. Your human city burns, and human ghouls stalk its ruin."
"Listen,"
Jest said, licking his lips. How much of this was madness? He didn't know how
long he'd been down in the dark; Ankhana might as well have been on the far
side of the world. Her raving could have truth in it, and he'd never know.
"Listen,
the Patriarch's gone crazy. He thinks I'm a goddamn Cainist. I would have maybe
stuck it out and fought back, but there's nobody I could really trust.
Everybody's gone strange—and I mean strange." He softened his tone,
made his voice warmer, more inviting. "You and I, what we had was never
about trust. I help you; you help me. Favors given for favors received."
He
took a deep breath. "I was thinking we could maybe work something
out."
"Is
that what you want? Is that what has brought you here? You are once again
interested in my favors?"
"I,
ah—" Damp as these goddamn caverns were, how could his lips be so fucking
dry? He licked them again, and said, "Hey, I won't pretend I haven't
missed you."
"Have
you?"
"I
mean, think about it: you and I? In some ways, we were made for each
other."
"I
remember ..." that eerily toneless simulacrum of Kierendal's voice
murmured. "I remember what it is to be desired."
"And
I," Jest ventured, sensing an opening, "remember what it is to desire
you. We were great together. You know we were. No other woman has ever made me
feel—"
"I
am not a woman."
"No
female of any species," Jest amended smoothly. "No human, no primal
or stonebender or whatever, has brought out of me what you did. I dream about
you at night, and wake up in a sweat. I panic when I think I might never see
you again."
"To
see me? Is this your wish?"
"That,
and more," he asserted. "I mean, we could turn all this around. There
are still men loyal to me within the Eyes, and the Cats are mine to a man. Not
only that, but I know where the Thaumaturgic Corps stockpiles their remaining
griffinstones—"
"There
is nothing to turn."
"Well,
then ..." Jest tried a smile. Could she see him that clearly? "Then
maybe we can just . . . be together again. You know?"
"So."
Her voice came back languid and earthy. "You wish once again to touch my
breast, to lay your hand along my hip."
"More
than anything else in the world," he said, thinking, except maybe
getting out of here alive.
"Very
well: I accept your devotion. Kiss me once, and it is done." Hands like
branches of a winter-killed tree seized his face and held him motionless.
Something crusted and hard pressed against his mouth, oozing with a thick
coppery goo like—no, not like anything; it was. Half-clotted blood.
The
crust parted into needle teeth that pierced his lower lip. A tongue like a
bark-covered stump forced its way into his mouth, and it tasted like this
cavern smelled: old meat, black and webbed with decay. The rough claws released
him, and Jest sank to his knees, gagging, both hands at his throat.
"My
kiss no longer wakes that familiar passion?" the voice asked with blank
mockery.
"No,
I ah ..." Jest coughed, and coughed again. "No. You startled me,
that's all. I was just startled. I didn't know you were already so, ah, close
to me. I can't tell where your voice is coming from."
"This
isn't my voice. It comes from inside your ear. I no longer speak." "I
don't understand."
"Of
course you don't. Understanding is my curse. My gift."
A
brighter patch gathered itself within the darkness: shapeless still, but slowly
self-defining as the illumination grew.
"It
was the gift of an old, old friend," the voice murmured. "He, too,
once desired me. He gave me understanding at the same time he gifted me with
death."
As
it brightened, the shape seemed to resolve into a gruesomely mutilated spider:
some sort of emaciated arachnoid creature with half its limbs cut off. The spider-shape's
head tilted slowly, hypnotically, back and forth, as though it worked to
swallow some half-choking chunk of meat.
"Can
you imagine," the voice continued, "what it is to go mad, and to know
you are going mad? Can you imagine understanding precisely what makes you want
to murder your friends and eat their corpses—and yet to want it anyway?"
"No,
I—ah, no."
"You
will."
The
pale glow from the mutilated spider increased until Jest could now make out her
features: sunken, skeletal, skin of translucent parchment mottled with weeping
sores, stretched over fleshless bones. Naked, sexless, a squirm of internal
organs within the abdomen, pale mats of hair clotted across the scalp,
blackened lips, cracked and oozing, that did not move though the voice went on.
"I have shared this with you, Toa-M'Jest .. . Majesty . . . what you will.
You'll become as I am."
"Yeah,
all right," Jest said. She was beyond fucked, but maybe he could still
manage to make enough of a deal to get himself away. "You've
shared. I can tell you're a, yeah, a little under the weather, but that
doesn't mean we have to lose the war."
She
neither moved nor changed expression as that disembodied voice roared, "There
is no war!"
"Then
I guess I was wrong after all," Jest said with a small sad smile. He
sagged back, losing hope. "I always said that every time Caine comes to
town, we end up in a fucking war. Hah. I should be so lucky."
"Caine?"
The
word was a hurricane blast, and with it exploded light so dazzling Jest cried
out and covered his eyes with both hands.
"Caine
is here? Caine is here now?"
Jest
roasted in the savage glare. He couldn't take his hands away from his face.
"I, ah—"
"Answer
me!"
"Yeah,"
he said, flinching from the thunder in his ears. "The Monasteries caught
him, and they delivered him to the Patriarch a couple days after the battle at
Commons' Beach."
"It
was him. All along. I knew, and yet I didn't know. It's so clear now. It's so
obvious what we have to do."
Jest
slowly managed to pull his hands down, and he squinted away from the light. The
cavern was the size of the Great Hall, and it was filled with bodies.
Primals,
stonebenders, ogrilloi, trolls and ogres and treetoppers, dressed in rags or
wholly naked, sick, maybe dying, many already dead, vomit pooled in hollows of
stone—and over them all rose Kierendal, naked and madder than the rest, the
crippled spider queen. "Up, children! Awake and arm!—Do you not hear? This
is our chance to revenge our own murders! We can kill the man who killed
us!"
As
her tattered rabble gathered themselves, her burning glare pinned Jest like a
javelin through the eye. "You know where he is."
Jest
licked his lips. He'd known Caine for twenty years. Caine had saved his life,
had made him Duke. What he had said to Toa-Sytell was the truth: He loved the
man like his own brother.
But...
Jest
was who he was. He was a survivor.
He
said simply, "He's in the Donjon."
With
a shout, the darkness returned: darkness that clattered with boots and
horn-soled feet, that snarled and shouted with fierce voices in unknown
tongues, that clanged with weapons and rustled with armor. He was seized and
dragged over stone, lifted and dropped and lifted again, passed up shafts
from hand to hand and allowed to slide down steep bruising slopes.
And
he knew: Darkness hides everything except who you really are.
6
There
had been a carefully orchestrated crescendo to the public clamor for
Michaelson's rescue. When it reached its peak, Westfield Turner once again
addressed the world, live on the net.
He explained
that the Studio had spent these past days in frantic preparation for a rescue
mission, but that Michaelson's position in the Donjon made direct action by
Actors virtually impossible: the rock from which the Donjon is carved has a
randomizing effect upon the Winston Transfer. Actors can neither be transferred
in nor out.
A
sizable minority of the concerned citizens found this difficulty puzzling. They
had viewed, for example, For Love of Pallas Ril, and the rock had seemed
to have no adverse effect on Caine's thoughtmitter transmissions during the
rather extended action sequence inside the Donjon. On the other hand, the
Studio people should know what they were talking about, shouldn't they? A few
wondered if the Studio might be mistaken. Only the most paranoid of conspiracy
theorists suspected that Turner's tale might be a direct lie.
But
now, it seemed, some side-effect of the calamity overtaking Ankhana had cut the
city off entirely from the Studio's technology. Sources across the net
speculated that it might be related to the ongoing war in the caverns below the
city. The Faces clearly had been able to strike back: the last images out of
Ankhana had been of the whole city in flames. Now even those Actors with the
ISP were off-line and in terrible danger. "But don't lose hope," Westfield
Turner told the world. "As Caine himself once said: Never surrender.
"We
will not surrender. I ask you now to lend your support to my petition before
the Leisure Congress. With the consent of the Congress, we can move combat
troops into position for instant action. I ask for authorization to mount a
full-scale military rescue, if need be. This may be Chairman Michaelson's only
hope.
"He
put himself on the line for us over and over again. Now it's our turn. We can't
let him down.
"We
won't let him down.
"We
may not be able to save him, but we won't let him go without a fight."
President
Turner failed to reveal that many of these preparations had begun days
before, well in advance of the first confirmation that Caine was even alive.
At
the very moment he made that speech, the first elements of Bauer Company of the
Social Police 82nd Force Suppression Unit--a reinforced rifle battalion,
accompanied by a number of Overworld-trained irregulars drawn from the ranks of
the most reliable Actors worldwide—were already in inflatable boats, on their
way down the Great Chambaygen into Ankhana.
7
Habrak
found Caine propped against the sweating limestone, legs splayed in the filth
that slickened the step. He looked like a naked wooden puppet Habrak had found
in an alley, once upon a wintertide many years ago. Some angry child had thrown
it against a wall, and it had landed broken in a dungheap. Habrak had taken it
home, cleaned it, and mended its broken back, and his daughter's eyes had
glistened on her birthday morning
The
sergeant stood over him, scowling. Caine or no Caine, he didn't much like this
idea of clubbing a helpless man to death. After twenty years in the army
followed by seventeen years in the Donjon Guard—twelve of them as sergeant—he
calculated that he had a clear idea of his duties. He was to see that prisoners
in the Donjon stayed in the Donjon. That's all. He wasn't the bloody Imperial
Executioner, was he?
No
use trying to explain that to the bloody Patriarch.
But
he couldn't duck or ditch, either. He sighed. He'd given this a fair think-on,
and he couldn't get comfortable ordering any of his boys to do a job too dirty
to do himself. Besides, he wasn't sure he could trust any of them to do it
properly. Too many of them would make it personal. A lot of his boys had been
in the Guard long enough to remember Caine's last visit.
It
was on Habrak's watch that Caine had come, seven years ago. It was the men of
Habrak's watch who had been killed and maimed in the riot Caine had sparked to
cover his escape.
The
warm weight of his club brushed against his leg. He swung it by the leather
loop around his wrist, spinning it up into killing position, then held it for a
moment before his eyes: a rod of oak as long as his forearm, leather-wrapped
butt, its business end knobbed with rings of iron. He paused for a moment,
there in the Shaft, and the tip of his tongue stroked the inside of his cheek,
following the thick rope of scar that connected the corner of his lip to the
hinge of his jaw.
He
could see it as though it happened again this instant: the Shaft door springing
suddenly open, the black sparks of Caine's eyes, the white flash of his
knife blade. In memory, the thrust came slow as a cloud across the summer sky;
in reality, the blade had shattered his teeth and sliced through his cheek
before he had even realized he was its target.
He
had more reason to make this personal, maybe, than any of his boys. He had more
reason to take his time, to hurt the man before he killed him. But he wouldn't.
The
city might have burned down over his head—the whole bloody world might be going
up in bloody smoke—but the bloody Donjon would stay in order, and Habrak and
every man under him would do their bloody duty until ordered to do otherwise.
He
swung the club back down to his side and jangled his keys where they dangled
from their steel ring at his belt. He'd bash in Caine's head and feed him to
the grinder. He didn't have to enjoy it. He just had to do it.
That's
what being a soldier is.
Caine's
eyes were open, glassy and staring; they remained still when Habrak passed his
lamp before them. His pupils didn't react to the changing light.
Dead.
Habrak
nodded to himself. Not too surprising, given the wet grey rot chewing away those
legs. Looked like he'd scratched something in the wall before he died. Lot of
Shafters did that kind of thing. Habrak always calculated these forgotten folks
were just that desperate to leave some mark of their passing. Sometimes they
wrote something interesting, or even funny.
Habrak
squinted at the scratches, but he couldn't tell what Caine might have wanted to
say. He seemed to recall that Caine was supposed to be Pathquan. Maybe that's
what this was, something in Pathquan; maybe those Pathquans used a different
alphabet or something. Couldn't even tell if these were supposed to be letters
or numbers or some kind of picture writing.
He
grunted to himself. So, sure, Caine left his last words graved in stone—but
there was nobody who could read them.
Just
another deader, anonymous as the rest.
Well,
that was a relief.
Still,
dead or not, he had his orders.
One
good overhand to the top of the skull. No point trying to smash the frontal
bone—and besides, he didn't want to damage the man's face; he needed Caine
recognizable to get himself out of here. He hooked a toe under one of Caine's
knees and shoved it to the side, seeking better footing. Seemed a bit indecent,
bashing a corpse like this
Habrak
frowned, squinting critically at Caine's head. Maybe he'd do better with a
two-handed stroke. He turned and set the lamp down on the step behind him,
and when he turned back he found that Caine's fixed stare had fixed on him.
"Hey,"
Habrak said uncertainly. "Are you alive, or what?"
Caine
didn't answer. He didn't seem to be breathing.
The
huge shadow Habrak cast on the wall shrank as the sergeant took a tentative
step closer. He adjusted his grip on his club, to hold it with both hands
before him, like a sword.
"Hey,
you," he said. He nudged Caine's suppurating knee once more with the toe
of his boot. "Hey, you are alive, aren't you?"
A
slow stretch of Caine's lips showed teeth gleaming with the flame that shines
in the eyes of wolves.
"Know
what?" Caine said slowly. "When you kick me in the leg?" His
voice scraped like a handful of cinders.
"It
hurts."
On
the day the dead man named himself, the great stone that had sealed his tomb
was shattered. Its shards were cast into the abyss, for what he breaks can
never be mended, and what he opens can never be closed. This is the power of
such naming.
He
came forth from his tomb, glowing and strong as a morning sun that comes out of
dark mountains.
TWENTY
The
club comes down from somewhere in the outer darkness: from the Oort Cloud of
shadow behind and beyond the guard's head. It floats: a feather pillow dropped
from the moon: the terminal velocity of a mother's kiss. It's a flash, a
thunderbolt: the blast of a shotgun shoved in my face. It comes down cleanly,
efficiently, professionally: a butcher's stroke, a guillotine's. The club comes
down in every possible shade of lethal delight, and none of them matter one
thin slice of goddamn.
Because
when the club comes down, my leg moves.
Just
a twitch, a sudden kink of the knee: no more than the reflexive spastic jerk of
a dying man rattling his heels on the floor: but enough. That's the victory,
right there. The rest is mop-up.
Because
he steps into the stroke—in his solid, professional way—and puts his right
ankle just inside my left knee, and when my left leg suddenly doubles it pulls
him a bare two inches closer to me, so that the blow that should have
splattered my brains into the shit on the floor instead slams the iron-ringed
knob against the stone wall on which I rest my head, and stings the fucking
club right out of his hands.
It
also pulls him a trace off balance, a happy trend that I encourage: I take one
of his wrists with my free hand and yank him down on top of me. His helmet and
the head inside it hit the wall with a cartoon ker-blank, and before he
quite understands what's happening I've turned his back to me and the chain
that links my right wrist to the wall now wraps his throat.
He
tries to shout, but the chain is tight. He tries to struggle, but I used to
murder people for a living. Nothing in his professional experience has prepared
him for someone like me.
While
I throttle him, I consider if maybe somehow I can get away with letting him
live. Maybe it was the mindview, I don't know, but ... watching him come down
the Shaft, I felt like I knew him. Like I could read him, somehow. I mean,
I do know him, sort of secondhand—Habrak, I think his name is. A couple of
Actors from the ISP have bumped into him now and again. He always seemed like a
decent guy, and more than that: he seemed like the kind of guy who was
doing what the gods intended for him when he was born. Maybe it's not a high
destiny, being a sergeant in the Donjon Guard, but it's his.
I
mean, how can you not like somebody who's so good at being exactly who he is?
I
count the seconds after he goes limp. Too few, he'll wake right up; too many,
he won't wake up at all. I make good use of this necessary pause by unbuckling
the girdle that holds his hauberk close around his waist and getting my free
hand on his ring of keys. I grip the chain with my right as I fit one key after
another into the simple lock on my manacle: it takes only seconds to find the
right one, and the manacle swings open.
Some
ugly sores there, where the iron has scraped away skin. Yeah, big deal. The
infections on my legs'll kill me before I have to worry about my wrist.
Pretty
soon, I let up the pressure on the guard's throat. He's limp as a hunk of
liver. Getting his hauberk off him is simple in concept, complex in practice,
but I manage. I clip his wrist into the manacle before I slide his armor over
my head.
It's
a goddamn luxury to have clothes on after all this time, even if those clothes
are made out of cold slimy iron links. I give the guard's ankle a grateful pat,
and he stirs.
He's
not awake yet, but he will be soon. So I'll let him wake up. So what? He's not
going anywhere, and no Pit guard will hear his voice; anything he might yell
will smother in this blanket of lunatic screams. They'll find him the next time
they sweep the Shaft for corpses, but by then I'll be out of here, or dead.
Call it my good deed for the day.
I
don't think I'll manage another.
I
lay the girdle out on the floor and roll myself onto it so I can buckle it
around my waist. Huh. Nice knife. I tie the club to the girdle by its leather
thong, and contemplate my next move.
I
have no fucking clue how I'm going to get through the Shaft door, how I can get
past the guards outside it, or what I can do out in the Pit, but: First things
first.
That
Shaft door is a long hundred feet or more above me, up a slope of unevenly worn
slick stairs, and a twitch or two of my no-longer-entirely-dead legs is a few
damn miles short of an evening stroll.
Well,
y'know: you have to crawl before you can walk.
I
stick the sheathed dirk under the girdle at the small of my back, because I'm
going up on my belly. Lamp in my left hand, keys in my right, I start pulling
myself up the Shaft with my elbows.
I
head for daylight, an inch at a time.
2
Orbek
rubbed his stinging eyes with his free hand, then stared again at the jerky
hook-and-pause of the point of light far below. He couldn't figure out what
could be making it move like that; it looped and stopped and looped again, a
stuttering spiral like the beckon-lamp of a hungry marshghoul.
The
hot damp air of the Shaft became a snort of winter down his back.
He'd
never heard of a marshghoul coming into a city. They stick to their swamps,
where they can lure a guy off the road with their beckon-lamps till the unlucky
bastard gets lost, then they suck out his eyeballs and all his juices and push
his corpse down into the bogs and nobody ever sees them again, except maybe
someday when somebody's cutting peat a hundred years later they find him, his
skin gone to leather and his empty eye sockets slick and gummy, and if a
marshghoul ever did come to a city, it'd sure as shit start in the Shaft,
because the Shaft was as good as a bog and you can't get away and now it was
coming for him like his dam always said it would
And
if he kept thinking about it, he would start to scream, and he didn't have much
voice left anyway. He'd pretty well used it up a couple hours after they
chained him here.
These
other guys, though, their voices never did seem to go out. They were still screaming—and
these screams and sobs and moans and shit were sounding different, now; not so
hopeless, not so scared, not at all like he figured a guy'd howl when a
marshghoul started sucking out his eyeball.
Orbek
didn't really believe in marshghouls, anyway.
The
light came closer, rising through the Shaft's murky gloom, and it was a lamp:
a lamp in the hand of something that pulled itself up the steps of the Shaft
with its elbows. And as it approached it might as goddamn well have been a
marshghoul, considering the sizzle of superstitious terror it sent down Orbek's
spine when he picked up the glint of its eyes and then the gleam of its teeth,
and Orbek figured out what it was.
It
was Caine.
And
he was smiling.
Orbek
had a fair amount of time to figure out what he would say, while he
watched Caine inch his way up the Shaft. When Caine got close enough that he
might be able to hear through the din of the Shafters' howls, Orbek hid his
maimed hands behind him and said, "Hey."
Caine
stopped. He twisted his head so he could look at Orbek past the flame of the
lamp in his left hand. He set the lamp on the floor and slowly levered himself
up to one elbow, and stared at Orbek for what felt like a couple of years.
Then
he said, "Hey."
Only
two things in the Shaft had reality for Orbek then. One was the look in Caine's
eyes; the other was the iron ring of keys that he held in his left hand.
"Good
to see you," Orbek said.
Caine
said, "Yeah?"
"Yeah.
Better, though: to see those keys."
"I'll
bet." He grunted something that might have been a chuckle. "You don't
ask how I got them. How I got loose."
Orbek
shrugged. "Don't matter, hey?"
Caine
nodded thoughtfully. "Y'know, Orbek, you and I, we're maybe a lot more
alike than we are different."
"Maybe
we are," Orbek said. "You gonna let me loose?"
"I'm
thinking about it. What are you doing in the Shaft?"
"Sittin'
on my fuck-me ass."
"You
know what I mean."
Orbek
shrugged. Now Caine's gaze became hard to bear; he had to look away, up into
the darkness that shrouded the door. "That don't matter, either."
"Maybe
not to you."
Orbek
felt himself flush. He rattled his chain and coughed in his throat, and hoped
Caine would let him off the hook, but the bastard just lay there staring until
Orbek had to go on. "To explain ain't easy."
"Try."
"After
they take you away ... everything just goes to shit, hey? Thinkin' she's boss
now, t'Passe orders everybody around, but nobody likes her, and everybody
splits up into these little shitty groups that all kind of hate each other and,
well, shit, I don't know. If you ain't come back, we all die anyway. So
I figure I maybe chain my ass in here with you, so if you do come out, I can
maybe help. Be your legs, like before."
Caine
squinted at him. "Yeah?"
"So
I throw shit at the guards. Whenever they come out on the catwalk. I lob a
couple clods of shit, and here I am. I call you. I call your name and call
again, but I don't hear no answer. Pretty soon, my voice gives out. You're
dead, I figure. How come you don't answer?"
Caine
said steadily, "I was busy."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah.
I had my mind on other things. What about Deliann?" "Dead, I
guess."
"You
guess?"
Orbek
shrugged. "He's pretty sick when I come in here. That leg's bad. Don't
think he's got a day left, and that's a while ago."
Caine
stared down into the infinite black below.
"So,"
Orbek said after a while. "That's the story, hey? Unlock me, you
gonna?"
Caine
slowly drew back his gaze and met Orbek's eye. "Maybe I'm thinking you'd
be safer down here."
"Don't
do me no favor, Caine." Slowly, painfully, Orbek pulled his hands out from
behind his back and showed Caine the crusted, filthy bandages around his
wrists, where his fighting claws had once been. Where now there were only
pus-weeping stumps.
Caine
hissed through his teeth.
"More
than I expect, they give me, hey?"
Caine
murmured, "Holy shit."
"Boltcutters,"
Orbek said. "Click clack. Click fuck-me clack You understand what they do
to me? Do you?"
Caine's
answer was a bleak stare.
"They
do to me what you do to Black Knives those years ago: cut off what makes me me.
Now I never get a bitch. Never get pups. What good's being safe? A good death
is all I got left. A good death. Honor on my clan."
"I
hear you," Caine said.
"Let
me loose."
He
didn't move. "Maybe I'm safer with you down here."
"Maybe
you are." Orbek showed him his tusks. "What you gotta do, do."
Caine
thought about it long enough to set Orbek's heart pounding against his ribs;
then he shrugged. "Yeah, whatever," he said, and tossed Orbek the
keys.
Orbek
unlocked his manacle, and rose. He looked down on the crippled human at his
feet. "Here we are again, Caine," he said.
"Yeah."
"I
can kill you now."
Caine
didn't answer.
"You
know it's true," Orbek said. "You know that armor, that club, they
don't help you. That wrestling you do, that don't help you either. Not this
time: When you give me freedom, you give me your life. You understand what that
means?"
"That
I'm a goddamn idiot?"
"Maybe
I die here in the Shaft. Maybe on the fire Assumption Day. But if I kill you
now, I kill the man who cut off the Black Knives. Honor on me. Honor on my
clan."
"So?"
Caine said, flat and cold, waiting.
Orbek
shrugged. "So maybe I got a better idea."
He
knelt at Caine's side and stripped the bandage from his right wrist. Its crust
stuck to his infected stump. He ripped the bandage free, bringing an ooze of
black blood, thick with pus.
"This
is my battle wound," he said, and he laid his stump on one of the
gangrenous sores on Caine's leg. "This is your battle wound. Our wounds
are one. Our blood is one."
"What
the fuck are you doing?"
Orbek's
lips pulled back from his tusks. "I'm adopting you." "The fuck
you are."
"Black
Knife, you are now. You give me your life. This is how I take it."
"Are you nuts? I'm the guy that—"
"I
know who you are," Orbek said. "You remember who I am. Dishonor you
put on the Black Knives. Now that dishonor, you share." He showed Caine
his tusks. "Now what honor you win, you share that, too. Good deal for
Black Knives, hey?"
"Why
would I want to join your fucking clan?"
"What
you want? Who cares?" Orbek rose, grinning. "You don't choose
your clan, Caine. Born Black Knife, you're Black Knife. Born Hooked Arrow,
you're Hooked Arrow. Now: Say that you are Black Knife, then let's go kill some
guards, hey?"
Caine
lay on the stone, silent.
Orbek
growled, "Say it."
The
lamp gave Caine's eyes a feral glitter.
"All
right," he said at length. For all his tiny, mostly useless human teeth,
he managed a surprisingly good mirror of Orbek's tusk display. "Like you
say: I am Black Knife."
3
Deliann
felt, rather than saw, the slow amble of the drooling trusty who followed the
arc of the balcony to the Shaft door, bearing his sack of hard bread and his
jug of water.
Deliann's
paste-colored head centered a dark stain of sweat, sweat that rolled down his
face like tears and spread across a makeshift pallet of rolled shirts and
ragged trousers and tattered robes layered over each other: clothing of dead
prisoners. A few days ago, the Pit folk had begun stripping corpses before the
guards could get down and pull the bodies out; now, most of the seriously ill
prisoners possessed at least improvised, provisional beds on which to die.
"Get them up," he whispered. "You don't have much time."
No
answer came from the translucent shadows that crowded his uncertain vision.
"T'Passe?" He forced his voice louder, trying for a shout. He managed
a strangled croak. "T'Passe, are you there?"
A
strong hand took his. "Deliann. I am beside you."
He
rolled his head toward her voice. At his side crouched a slightly more substantial
shadow; this shadow had a hint of solidity, half obscuring the twisting lattice
of energy in motion that had washed away the reality of the Pit and all within
it. Deliann frowned, and squinted.
"Night
threads," he murmured. He had to make her understand. "Night threads
draw shadows from the moon ..." No, that wouldn't help; he lifted a weakly
trembling hand and tried to massage his vision into focus. "Everything
seems to be falling apart . . . ?"
T'Passe
sighed and squatted beside him, lowering herself along with her voice.
"Everything is falling apart," she said.
Deliann
took her hand in his clammy, shaking fingers. "It seems like it's
falling apart. But that's only seeming. It's falling together. It's
gathering toward a center that isn't here yet."
The
swelling on Deliann's thigh had risen and reddened and finally burst; its
corrupt milk lent his makeshift pallet a fouler stench of rot. The abscess left
behind was a crater lined with dead flesh, grey and slick and oozing, big
enough that t'Passe could have put her fist inside it. Fever scattered his best
attempts at coherence. "This is our chance," he said. "This is
the blow we can strike in Hari's war."
"I
don't understand."
"I
can't help that," he sighed. Words were a microscope, the truth a planet.
Even if he could describe the pale sliver of the shadow of the truth that he
could see, could she understand? Indrawing concentric rings of force that
shifted and flowed across two universes, narrowing and refining and focusing
into a pinpoint star of right now, of right here; the scalar
self-similarity of fractal reality from the interplay of quarks to the event
horizons of all the universes—what words could make these comprehensible to a
mind that had not experienced them directly?
He
struggled to pull himself below the waves of fever, down into the calm depths
of the here and now, down to where he could feel the gathering storm of
violence that lowered upon the world, the Empire, the city, the Donjon.
Violence swarmed the Courthouse like bees around his head; violence forced up
the sump below the Shaft like rape. Violence shimmered toward existence on the
Pit balcony: it gathered like pus within an abscess, stretching dying skin
above. It grew where the trusty stood, waiting for the guards at the Shaft to open
the door.
And
on that same spot, a white flare of power sparked from outside the world.
Knotted threads of black Flow streamed toward it, twisting themselves into
strings, then ropes, then hawsers pulsing with furious energy. "Get
them up," Deliann whispered. "Get everyone up. Get them on their
feet. Just do it. This is your only chance."
"You
heard him," t'Passe said roughly, speaking toward the shadows above.
"What are you waiting for?"
Some
of the translucent shadows moved away from him then, slipping past and through
each other. Throughout the Pit, shadows overlapped and deepened as they came to
their feet, and the sizzle of violence around was joined by one within.
T'Passe's
shade leaned close. "What are we waiting for?"
"Not
what, but who," Deliann whispered. A surge of energy hit him like nausea;
he could barely choke out the words. "Caine is coming." The guards
unbarred the Shaft door.
"Deliann—"
He heard the despair in her voice; she still didn't understand. She still
didn't believe. "Deliann, Caine is dead."
"No,"
Deliann said.
"Yes.
He's been in the Shaft for days. With open sores on his legs, deep ones. By
now, he is certainly dead."
"No,"
Deliann said. "T'Passe, I was wrong. He isn't coming." "I
know," she said sadly.
The
Shaft door swung open, and the trusty started to enter. "He isn't
coming," Deliann said. "He's here."
4
The
bar scrapes across the outside of the Shaft door.
Orbek
shows me his tusks and hefts the club. The hauberk fits him like the skin on an
overcooked sausage. I'm naked again, but I don't mind. I've got the knife.
That's
all the clothes I need.
Orbek
wishes me luck: "Die fighting, Caine."
I
raise the knife in salute. "Die fighting."
Then
a crack of lamplight widens along one side of the Shaft door, and I tell him to
"Go goddamn go DO IT!" because there is a time to be smart and
careful and look before you leap, and there is a time to just rock and fucking
roll.
Orbek
plants a splay-clawed foot against the slats and gives the door a kick that
could stagger a bull. The door booms open and the wetbrain is standing there
with his mouth slack, one thin line of astonished drool stretching for the
floor for maybe half a second until Orbek steps up and pegs him with the club.
He falls, howling, and the doorway is clear, and Shafters pour out.
The
guards to either side of the door don't even get a chance to unsling their
clubs; Orbek and I found maybe eighteen or twenty Shafters—mostly human, but a
couple primals and three or four 'rillos—who were still sane enough to give a
coherent answer to the question: "You want to die down here in the dark,
or up there in the light?"
The
door guards go down under a howling tide of naked filth-crusted madmen. Guards
pound around the balcony and across the catwalks, scrambling to get into
position to fire their crossbows without shooting each other. A pair of
Shafters carry me out onto the balcony, holding my arms around their shoulders.
Orbek and five or six Shafters sprint for the winch platform. The rest of them
leave the door guards to bleed on the balcony and throw themselves onto the
catwalks to intercept the fresh guards charging toward us.
"Put
me right up to the rail," I tell the guys carrying me, and they stand
me up against the low retaining wall around the balcony. Guards scream at me,
at all of us, to put up our hands, surrender, there's nowhere for us to go, all
that kind of shit, and there are a hell of a lot of crossbow quarrels aimed at
my chest.
Everybody
in the whole damn Pit is on their feet, staring, mouths birthing snarls: this
place is a fucking live grenade, just waiting for somebody to twist the primer.
So
I do.
"You
said I was gonna die down there!" Thirty years of ki-ai have given me a voice that cuts through
the shouting like a civil defense siren. "I said I'd be back!"
I
give the Pit my wolf-grin and howl, "What's Rule Two?"
That
brings them up like a storm surge in the Atlantic: they snarl and hoot and
bunch toward me, shoulder to shoulder, a living mass of bloodhunger writhing and
rippling as it shakes the sleep out of its joints.
The
guards let fly, and quarrels chop into flesh. Blood sprays, skin and chunks of
yellow bone flip through the air as Shafters fall; one of the Shafters at my
side grunts and staggers back, a quarrel sticking out of the ragged hole it
punched through his rib cage. Two-thirds of the way to the winch platform,
Orbek takes one in the belly that doubles him over. A couple of the Shafters
with him go down, but Orbek's up in an instant and running again.
Those
armor-safe crossbows kinda suck when a prisoner has armor of his own.
Ten
seconds to reload.
I'd
had a vague plan to shout some kind of inspirational slogan, to get them all
heated up and ready to charge the stairs, but I can't think of one goddamn inspirational
word. Henry the vee I'm not. What I am, though, is a good enough Actor to know
when to throw focus.
I
point the dirk at Orbek and shout, "Look!"
He's
left the Shafters behind. Two of the three guards from the winch platform run
down the stairs to intercept, while the third stays back by the winch and
cranks the crowsfoot on his bow. Orbek bulldozes the first one like a defensive
end on a fistful of greens, and a roar goes up from the Pit.
Then
he's past; the second guard whirls his club into a whistling overhand that
Orbek deflects with a very professional roofblock—just like I taught him before
he counters with an abneko umbrella-strike that dents the guard's helmet
and sends him him staggering backward.
"It's
not a fucking duel!" I shout. "Just
kill the sonofabitch!"
Now
the first guard is on his feet behind him, and he pegs Orbek a solid one in the
floating rib; with no padding behind the chainmail, that shot folds him over
like a broken doll, but he's moving sideways already and the guard's follow-up
glances off his shoulder. Orbek turns into him and grabs him in a full clinch
to tie up the guard's club. The guard clutches desperately at Orbek's weapon
arm, gets it, and sets about working to free his own arm before he remembers
that he's not fighting a man, here.
Ogrilloi
have tusks.
The
guard lets out a high, thin shriek that chokes to a muffled gargle as Orbek
hooks a tusk under his chin that punches up through flesh to pin his tongue to
his soft palate. Orbek has the neck muscle of a razorback boar; when he
wrenches his head to the side, the guard's jaw dislocates and Orbek's tusk rips
free, spraying blood that drenches the side of his face.
Orbek
seizes the guard by collar and crotch, and lifts him over his head. "I
am Black Knife!" he roars to the Pit. "Orbek Black
Knife!"
They
answer him with thunder.
And
he tosses the guard over the balcony wall like a sack of meat into the lion
cage. Prisoners swarm the fallen guard, and his shriek doesn't last long. He's
no dummy, Orbek: that taste of blood whips them up more than any words I could
possibly use.
When
he turns his blood-drenched face on the guard with the dented helm, the guard
suddenly remembers some urgent business he has on the far side of the Pit.
Quarrels
zip past Orbek from the three or four guards with enough presence of mind to
reload, but they don't come close enough to get his attention. The guy up on
the winch platform gets off a shot as Orbek goes up the stairs, but that 'rillo
has head movement like a middleweight; the quarrel just nicks his ear and
glances off the shoulder of his hauberk. The guard drops his bow and unslings
his club, and he's no dummy either—instead of coming to meet Orbek and giving
the'rillo a free shot at his feet and ankles from the stairs, he backs up warily
and keeps the winch between them, dodging around it like a tower shield; all he
really has to do is keep Orbek busy until reinforcements arrive.
Orbek,
bright boy, doesn't bother to fight the guard at all, just feints him off the
winch with a fake swing at his head and then spins the heavy club into an
overhand that whangs into one of the ratchet pawls of the winch and snaps the
fucking thing right in half. The guard shouts and comes back after him, but
Orbek dodges away, grinning, and swings another overhand to snap the pawl on
the other side of the winch.
The
stairbridge comes down like the blade of a guillotine.
If
I'd had a clue how smart that big bastard is, I would've picked on somebody
else.
When
the stairbridge hits the Pit floor, the guards up here stop thinking about
regaining control of the situation and start thinking about getting the fuck
out. Prisoners storm up the stairbridge in an endless snarling flood; there's
more than a thousand people down there with nothing to lose, and the guards know
it—they're not stupid enough to stick around.
Before
any of the prisoners are even halfway up the stairs, most of the guards have
broken for the steps on the far side of that brass-bound balcony door, heading
for the Courthouse above.
The
Donjon is ours.
No.
The
Donjon is mine.
The
hero returned from the lands of the dead.
As
true heroes always do, he returned with supernatural gifts: gifts that were
already his nature, now transcending their mortal limits. He came forth as an
infant: nameless, weak, and squalling. He faced the task of all returning
heroes: to master the forces that had created him, and to reach atonement with
his father.
In
other words: to grow up.
TWENTY-ONE
When
his consciousness intersected the world once more, he lay prone on dirty flagstones,
his face turned to the left, rocks warm as blood digging into his cheek. Flame
roared on all sides. Someone with agonizingly strong hands compressed his back
to pump river water out of his lungs. He opened his mouth to speak, but instead
retched forth a gout of water mixed with blood. It splashed across his right
arm, his right hand, and he made a fist.
"I
think he's awake," someone said.
For
a gooey eternity, he could not recall who or where he was. He had dreamed of
being Caine, of lying crippled in his own filth. The flamestreaked night
offered no clue, and the feculent stench of the Donjon packed his head. Now, a
bitter reek overpowered the outhouse smell: a sharp, throat-scorching tang not
unlike the smoke from the Artan mining machines in Transdeia, when they chew
away the mountainsides.
Those
strong hands rolled him onto his back. He stared up past a pair of unfamiliar
faces into billows of black smoke that smothered the stars.
"Ambassador," someone said, his voice raised over the liquid roar of
nearby flame. "Master Raithe—can you hear me? We must move you. How is
your breathing?"
That's
right, he thought. Raithe. I am
Raithe.
He
struggled for air, but he could not tell if this came of water still in his
lungs or of the baking heat of the fire around him. A swamp belch of borrowed
memory bubbled up from the quagmire of bruise inside his head, but it burst and
vanished before he could fully grasp it.
"Raithe,
you must speak now," a new voice said, a voice raw and ragged as though
torn by screams.
A
silhouette shambled into view above him, then squatted at his side. Scarlet
firelight lit half this man's ravaged face from below and threw the rest into
impenetrable shadow. Grey stubble prickled from his jaw, and his visible eye
stared round and red as though he struggled never to blink. He wore the
robes of a Monastic Ambassador, now stained and torn and streaked with filth.
"I lost three friars to the burning oil when we pulled you from the
river," he rasped. "Three good men. The last good men. The last
men I could trust. Now I have you, and I will have my answer."
He
leaned close and chewed at Raithe with starving eyes. "What is the
significance of the sword? What did it do to you? What are you, and
what have you done to the city?"
Raithe's
mind stumbled spastically from word to word. He could make sense of none of
this.
"Master
Damon," a friar said warningly. "We must move. We must leave. Our
lives are in danger here."
Damon's
teeth showed yellow and savage as he turned on the man. "I will hear this!
You can't stop me!"
"What
he has to say won't mean much if we all burn to death," the friar retorted
sullenly, and with an astonishing animal snarl, Damon sprang for his throat.
The Acting Ambassador crashed into him and they tumbled out of Raithe's view.
He couldn't seem to properly turn his head, but he could hear grunts and savage
curses joined by the liquid smack of bone against muscle.
He
tried to summon his mindeye, to look with his power where he could not direct
his eyes, but he saw only flames closing around him. He tried to lever himself
up onto his elbows, to turn himself over or at least sit up. Tried, and failed.
His
left arm did not work.
His
exploring hand found a zone of numb flesh that bordered his pectoral muscle and
grew outward to his shoulder, deepening until the arm it-self was as dead as a
steak in a smokehouse. He tried to call out, but all that could come from his
throat was a strangled grunt; he tried to push himself away with his feet,
scrabbling with his heel. But he pushed with only one heel; his left leg was as
dead as his arm.
Help
me was formed by his lips. Please,
someone—someone help me
Instead
of flames charring his flesh, he now saw himself helpless under the knives and
fingernails and teeth of men and women stripped of their humanity by Garrette's
disease: demented homicidal bogeys with hearts empty of all save hunger and
lust. He seemed to smell their slaughterhouse breath, seemed to feel the warm
slide of their drool down his neck
The
sounds of fighting faded behind the roar of the surrounding flames.
"There," Damon panted, out of sight. "There. This is the
punishment for treachery. Does anyone else wish to question my authority?"
Raithe
squinted against the sting of tears.
Damon
reappeared at his side, and there was blood around his mouth. He sucked on
a skinned knuckle for a moment before he spoke. "What is it?" he
rasped. "I know you know, Raithe. What has done this to us?"
The
only sound Raithe could summon was a thick, gargling "No—no—"
Damon
drew close. "For days," he murmured, "I have awaited your
rising. We are locked together, Raithe, you and I. This city has become a madhouse.
You know why, and you know what I can do to save it. I have been patient,
Raithe. My forbearance is at an end." A clawlike hand seized Raithe's dead
left arm, and Damon lifted it with an expression mingled of lust and loathing.
"I have become hungry."
His
face spasmed, and he cast down Raithe's arm, pushing himself away like a man
with vertigo retreating from the brink of a cliff. "Why won't you help me,
Raithe? I know you can. I don't understand why you refuse ..."
Refuse?
Raithe raged inside his head. Look
at me! Will you look at me? What exactly was he supposed to be able
to do?
"Is
it the water?" Damon asked softly, stroking Raithe's numb left cheek with
his twisted clawlike hand. "I know we have been poisoned, but I must know
where the good water can be found. It is our only hope, Raithe. It is the only
hope of the city. Why won't you tell me?" Damon lowered his head
and turned his face away. He whispered, "I am so thirsty ..."
Raithe
could only stare, gasping through the panic that crushed his chest.
"It's
blood, isn't it?" Damon said suddenly. He turned back to Raithe. His eyes
smoldered. "That is why you will not speak. I understand. Clean water
avails nothing—it is too late for that. Our only hope is to find blood.
Clean blood. Blood is life. Blood is what we must drink. We must sustain
our lives with life itself."
Once
more, Damon seized Raithe's dead arm. This time, he brought it close to his
mouth, and his lips spasmed with tangled hunger and revulsion. "Is it your
blood, Raithe? Is that what we must drink? The blood of a man become god?
Is that why you will not speak? Is that why you want us all to die? Because you
do not wish to share your blood?"
Blood,
Raithe thought. There is an
answer in blood. But he could not quite grasp the memory. He had learned
something about blood, something important. From where?
The
goddess.
From
the goddess.
Close
upon this realization came a heart-tearing burst of wonder: When did she
stop being the Aktir Queen to me, and become simply the goddess?
There:
it was all there, inside him. He could not contain all that she had shared with
him, but he did not need it all: one small corner sufficed. Blood
He
remembered about blood.
Damon
bit into Raithe's wrist, clamping down with a rending twist of the jaw, but
Raithe barely noticed.
I
can save him. I can save them all.
The
tears that streamed now onto his cheeks were tears of gratitude.
Damon
lifted his blood-smeared mouth from Raithe's wrist. "Does this hurt you? I
am sorry for that, Raithe. Sorry-I truly am. But I must have your blood.
Without your blood, I will die, and when I die the embassy will
fall, and with it the Monasteries and the Empire, and my whole life will
have been for nothing. For nothing, do you understand? Of course you
don't; you are too young. You are too young and strong to comprehend the
futility that pursues a man, gaining ground with the turn of each year,
each month, each day—"
Raithe
gathered his will and summoned his mindhand to work his body like a puppet. He
shifted his lips and tongue to make himself say, "Nnno, Daaamon . . . I
unnderrrstannn . . . I cannn hhh . . . hhhelllp you ..."
"You
can? You will?" The older man's staring eyes sparked with hope. "What
must I do? What do you require?"
"Nnnot
my bl ..." Raithe forced out. He took a deep breath, and struggled to make
his words clear. "Blood. To sssave . . . you nnneed ..." He summoned
all his concentration, and sternly forced his lips and tongue to form
distinctly the words he needed to save the world.
"Not
my blood," he said, "but Caine's."
2
Raithe
hung facedown across a broad shoulder, and held on to consciousness by the
clench of his teeth. With the winter-grey eyes of his body, he saw only
oil-stained stone and the legs of the friar who carried him; with the invisible
eyes of his mind, he could see everything.
Damon
led the small group of Esoterics in erratic dashes from patch to patch of
burned-out ground, sliding between walls of flame and slipping across
oil-slicked cobbles. Behind them, at the dockside, buildings had started to
collapse; now and then the friars were forced to fade into the dangerously
narrow confines of alley mouths, to avoid the parties of bucket-armed soldiers
who trotted past. The soldiers, and the civilian volunteers who worked beside
them, no longer tried to save individual buildings, but rather tried to contain
the fires; they struggled to build firebreaks of sand to smother the oil,
but flame overleaped them, spreading from wall to wall and rooftop to rooftop,
and soon the black oil soaked through the mounds of sand and began to burn
anew.
Often
the soldiers and the civilian volunteers fought not only the fires, but each
other. The slightest disagreement might jump instantly to bloodshed, and the
violence was more contagious than the disease that sparked it. Perhaps it does
take two to fight—but it takes only one to attack. Only one to murder.
The
winner, in such fights, was the fire.
In
the dark depths of his heart, Raithe felt a shadow flow toward the city from
far upstream, blank and faceless. With what sense he felt this he could not
say—another revenant of the goddess and the god who had striven against one
another within his brain but he felt it with an acute certainty that left no
room for doubt.
The
Artans were coming.
The
Esoterics dashed up Knights' Bridge, reaching the top of the arch; ahead, where
it joined the end of the arching stone span, the massive timbers of the
drawbridge's single-leaf bascule had become a towering forest of
spider-branched oaks that seeped gleaming oil.
"We
can make it," Damon decided, panting. "Here—" He turned to the
men he led and pointed. "You you're the strongest. Take the Ambassador on
your shoulders. You, and you your robes are wet. Strip and wrap him; the wet
cloth will give some protection should the flames catch us still on the
bridge."
And
in that speech, Raithe heard an answer: For all his murderous dementia, Damon
was still Damon. He summoned his mindhand to make himself speak once more.
Exhaustion made moving his lips like juggling boulders. "Nnno."
Damon
ignored him, studying the unnatural forest ahead. "Reese—scout along the
left retaining wall. Rhoole, Cole, get a look to the right and in the middle.
We must choose the clearest path, or none of us may survive."
"Nnno,"
Raithe repeated. "Leavvve me heere."
"We
will not," Damon muttered distractedly. "You are a Monastic citizen
in distress—"
"Leavvve
mmme here," he said, louder. "Tha' . . . that is annn
order."
Damon
wheeled and seized the back of Raithe's neck in a crushing grip, straightening
him one-handed across the friar's shoulder with lunatic strength. He leaned close
enough to bite, and snarled, "Never give orders in my command! Never! I
am in authority here! I! Do you understand?"
Raithe
met Damon's snarl expressionlessly. "Nno," he said. "You arrre
nnnot."
"I
am invested by the Council of Brothers—"
"You
arrre relieved."
"You
have no authority!"
Raithe's
command of his lips and tongue sharpened by the moment. He was able to say more
strongly, "I amm ... the Council's ch-chosen Ammmbassador ... to the
Arrrtans. T-to the Ak-tiri. Caine is Arr-tan. This—" He waved
weakly with his good hand at the burning city around them. "—this is the
w-work of Aktiri."
By
extreme focus of his will, he forced the words to become perfectly distinct.
"I amm vested with fulll auth-thority in all dealings with Arta .. . annnd
the Aktiri. I amm . . . in command, here."
Damon
met his gaze squarely, pathetically dignified in his tattered filthy robes and
the blood that streaked his face. "I shall protest," he said. "I
shall protest to the Council."
"D-do
ssso. Unn-til th-thenn, you arre rre-lieved."
Damon
released Raithe's neck, and stepped away with lowered eyes. Raithe patted the
flank of the friar who held him. "Ssset me downnn."
The
friar obeyed, laying Raithe gently on the cold stone arch. Raithe said,
"Daamonnn?"
The
reply was half muffled, as though his mouth had difficulty forming the words,
but was clear nonetheless.
"I
am . . . at your orders. Sir."
3
Raithe
gave orders as swiftly as his infirmity allowed, and the Esoterics sprinted
away through the decaying trees of Knights' Bridge. He let his eyes drift
almost closed; he had been through so much, and he was so tired
Damon
gazed longingly after his men. "And I still don't understand," he
said, plaintive and puzzled, like a lost little boy. "How will this save
us?"
"Hhhellp,"
Raithe said reluctantly. "Hellp mmme . . . up."
Damon
knelt and slung Raithe's dead arm around his own neck. Slowly, working
together, they managed to get Raithe to his feet. "What are we to do, now?
Where are we to go?" Damon asked, his voice thickening with tears. "I
fear—I fear I may not have the strength to carry you, Raithe. I'm sorry—I have
not been well. Do you know I have not been well?"
"To
th-the Courrthoussse," Raithe gasped. "Caine—Caine's blood—"
"But
how will we even get in? The Courthouse will be sealed for the night—and it was
built as a fortress! It would take a siege engine—"
"Th-thisss—"
Raithe said. "This is hhhoww—"
He
reached forth with his mindhand. No effort was required to find what he
sought; the same odd, unexpected kinesthesia that enabled him to feel the cold
approach of the Artans made this as natural as his one hand reaching for the
other in the dark.
On
the surface of the river beneath them, the flames leaped high, then parted. A
circle of pure calm flattened the roiled water as though it were a mountain
lake on a windless summer's day. Up from the center of that circle rose the
Sword of Saint Berne.
Raithe
drew the sword upward through the flame and smoke and darkness.
The
blade sizzled to life as his fingers closed around it, and shot a bolt of power
along his arm that blossomed into a fireball of acid within his left side—and
he could feel it. The touch of Kosall's hilt had joined something that
had been severed within him.
He
pushed Damon aside, stood on his own two feet, and brandished Kosall at the
sky; power shouted from the blade like lightning.
He
thought, Well. All right, then.
He
lowered the blade, and the glare around him faded. "No siege engine will
be required," he said with grim satisfaction. "Come, Damon-"
Damon
screamed: a raw, animal scream of agony and terror. He staggered away, clawing
at his chest and shoulder, then fell to his knees. He tore at his clothing, his
scream already ragged, hoarse, going choppy as he gasped for breath. Raithe was
at his side in an instant.
A
dripping patch of black oil the size of a fist stained Damon's robe; before
Raithe could even wonder whence this oil might have come, flesh beneath the
cloth began to smoke, and then to burn. As Damon tore at his clothing, the oil
smeared across his hands, raising blisters so fast they burst before his skin
could stretch over them, and his fingers began to swell, trailing streamers of
acrid smoke.
Raithe
grabbed a handful of Damon's robe and slashed it off with a swift stroke of
Kosall, then ripped the rest of the robe free. He wadded it up and roughly
scrubbed at Damon's chest and hands, wiping away as much oil as he could
one-handed, since he dared not put down the sword.
At
last Damon huddled on his side on the cold stone, crumpled fetally around the
oil burns on his chest, shivering with pain, tears streaming from his eyes.
Raithe stared numbly at the wadded cloth in his hand, unable to comprehend what
he saw: the robe was nearly soaked through with oil, now, and oil dripped from
its torn hem to stain the bridgestones at his feet.
He
dropped the robe, and it landed with a sodden slap. He lifted his left hand,
staring; he turned his hand this way and that, seeking some glimpse of human
skin within a slick, wet-gleaming glove of jet.
He
made a fist, and out through the pores of his skin flowed thick syrup ripples
of the blind god's black oil.
4
In
a shadowed doorway of the Financial Block across Ten Street from the
Courthouse, Raithe let Damon slide slowly to the doorstep. With an empty sigh,
Damon settled onto the oil-slick stone and curled around the chemical burns on
his chest. His eyes held the horizon-fixed glaze of the Control Disciplines.
Raithe pressed back into the shadows, Kosall humming along his thigh.
Ten
Street was choked with people: people with packs on their backs and bundles in
their arms, people pushing carts and people pulling wagons, people who clutched
the hands of children or the leashes of pets, people who sought this way and
that in tears or red-faced rage, crying names indistinguishable from all the
other shouts and screams.
With
Fools' Bridge and Thieves' Bridge already in flames—as well as many of their
homes and businesses—thousands had bundled whatever they could carry of their
precious possessions and rushed to the west side of Old Town, only to find
Knights' Bridge burning as well; the forest of oak that had sprung from its
bascule had ignited only seconds after Raithe had carried Damon through. Now
the only way off the island was the long arch of Kings' Bridge—and Kings'
Bridge was held by a company of heavy infantry whose captain was grimly
determined to keep this rabble of potential looters off the South Bank.
Flames
slowly crept westward through twisting alleys and around rooftop peaks, behind
water troughs and under boardwalks: anywhere the wind was broken. The whole
city east of Rogues' Way burned, and the approach of the flames pushed more and
more people into the Financial District. People were dying on the street
already: now and again the press parted to reveal a body trampled or clubbed or
surreptitiously knifed. The river itself stretched arms of flame around Old
Town as oil flowed in from upstream, becoming a moat of fire.
Kosall
hummed in Raithe's left hand, shedding tiny droplets of black oil in a
continuous rain; Raithe watched them fall. He remembered, foggily, the agony he
and the goddess had suffered when the black oil had first flowed forth; the
right side of his body—the clean side—was blistered and scorched, and had the
stiff swollen thickness of parboiled meat. Part of what frightened him was that
he wasn't in much pain.
Far,
far back behind his eyes, faint but persistent—a melody stuck in endless
obsessive cycle within his brain—throbbed the lives of all within the
river's bound: ghosts of the living. The clearest of them were the men and
women who crowded the street around him; he could also feel men—soldiers, he
presumed—within the Courthouse. He even got faint corner-of-the-eye afterimages
of the confusion and anger among friars who struggled to arm themselves, blocks
away at the embassy: fights broke out among them, and a number of the embassy's
rooms held victims of virus-spawned murder.
He
could feel other ghosts as well: terrified ghosts, cringing behind locked
shutters; lunatic ghosts, giggling with gore-smeared mouths; even a few stolid,
comfortably ignorant ghosts, snoring within bedlinens never tangled by any troubling
dream, far from the fires and the madness that gripped the city.
And
he could feel ghosts below him: unhuman ghosts that boiled through the caverns,
terrified and savage; he felt their mad queen and heard the thump of her
murderous command echo in the heart of ogre and primal, troll and treetopper.
He could see the image of their destination and feel their bloody intention,
and he knew that if he delayed, Caine might have no blood left with which to
save the world.
Another
part of what frightened him was what he saw across the street: The Courthouse
doors were open, and on the verandah at the top of a broad sweep of stairs, two
armored officers of the Eyes of God stood guard.
The
facade of the Courthouse pulsed orange with reflected firelight and gleamed
with black oil; the ivy that once had climbed its walls had become a jungle of
knotted woody vines that now rotted and dripped oil that flowed across the
broad railed verandah in syrupy waves. The Eyes of God officers shifted
uncomfortably, trying to keep their boots out of the oil, and threw many
nervously longing glances toward the crowded street, as though only fear of
something worse than fire kept them at their posts.
The
rest of what frightened Raithe was that he knew what frightened them. He could
feel it.
With
the same sense that tracked the approach of the Artan Guard along the river and
through the outlying streets, he felt something huge and dark and rabid within
the Courthouse: a wounded beast that licked it-self in hungry silence. These
Eyes of God feared this beast, not knowing that they themselves were parts of
its limbs; Raithe feared the beast, for he knew that he was.
He
felt the dark power's flow through the sword into his brain, and with his own
powers of mind he seized upon it. Power is power, he thought. I need
all I can get.
He
felt the gate that the goddess had closed in his mind, the gate that his touch
upon the sword had reopened. He turned his will upon that gate, and shattered
it so that it would never close again. He would bear the ache, the legion of
rats that chewed into his guts. He would bear the black-oil stigmatum.
Small
enough penance, for his great sins.
He
shifted his grip upon Kosall so that he held it by one quillon, and its
eldritch hum died. He still could make a fist of his left hand, and his left
leg still held his weight. Slowly, careful not to brush the sword's hilt, he
slid the naked blade behind his belt. "Damon," he said. He yanked the
semi-conscious man to his feet and shook him roughly. "Damon, come up.
Now. That's an order."
Slowly
the Acting Ambassador's eyes drifted into focus.
"Yes."
Damon's face was blank with returning pain. He hugged his bare, burned chest as
though he were chilled. He wore only his breeches and boots. "Yes—Raithe?
Aren't you Raithe? What—what—? I'm hurt, Raithe," Damon said, blankly plaintive.
"I must get to the embassy. I'm hurt, and they need me."
Raithe
laced his fingers together into a specific knot, which tuned his mind in a
specific way. The oil from his left hand made the skin of his right sizzle and
smoke, but his mind was master of his flesh; he could accept this pain, too,
even welcome it, and in doing so he found he could accept his fear as well. His
fear, like his pain, became a mere fact.
"You
will stay here and await the embassy's soldiers," he said. "When they
arrive, you will take command. Secure the Courthouse. Take it, and hold it. You
will allow no one to enter until you are so ordered, by either myself or
another who, to your certain knowledge, wields the full authority of the
Council of Brothers. Do you understand these orders?"
"But—"
"Do
you understand these orders?"
"Yes.
Yes, sir. Yes. But—but—"
Raithe
left him in the doorway and strode out into Ten Street. Most people in the
crowds gave way before him; those who didn't, he brushed with a fingertip of
his left hand. Their screams and the smoke that rose from their burns were more
than enough to convince everyone else to let him pass.
"But—"
Damon called after him. "What you have ordered—it's an act of war!"
"This
is already a war," Raithe said softly, more to himself than to Damon.
"And it is time for us to act."
He
mounted the Courthouse steps, to face the Eyes of God.
5
As
Raithe climbed the steps, one of the officers said, "You can't come up
here."
Raithe
reached the oil-stained verandah and stopped a nonthreatening five paces from
the door. "Why not?" he asked mildly.
"Go
on, back into the street, chummie," the other guard told him, pointing
down into the mass of people with his sword. "Nobody's allowed on the
steps."
"But
I want to go in."
"Back
on the street," the officer insisted. He took a step toward
Raithe and lifted his sword. "Courthouse's been closed since dusk. Get
moving." "But the door is open."
"That's
not your concern—" the officer began, but Raithe again knotted his fingers
together, again ignored the sizzle of the skin on his fingers, and interrupted.
"Tell
me why the door is open," he said.
"Because
the Patriarch has a thing about doors, these days," the officer said.
"He doesn't like doors closed on him when he's inside—" His partner
gaped at him. "Dorrie! Are you mad?"
The
officer looked back, puzzled. "What?"
Raithe
said, "The Patriarch?"
"Dorrie,
shut up," the other officer said. He stepped in front of his partner and
pointed his own sword at Raithe's belly. "And you, get out of here. You
didn't hear anything, you understand? The Patriarch isn't anywhere near
here, and if you say otherwise, I'll find you and kill you."
But
he didn't sound as certain of that as he might, and his eyes were fixed upon
Raithe's oil-covered left hand. "You—uh," he said, with a frown that
was half a wince, "and you, you better wash your hands. I mean—don't you
know that stuff is dangerous?"
Far
better than you, Raithe thought. He
reknotted his fingers. "I am Ambassador Raithe of the Monasteries. The
Patriarch sent for me. You will direct me to him at once."
"I,
uh, I uh ..." the officer stammered. "Your Excellency, your clothes,
I didn't—"
"At
once," Raithe repeated. Without waiting for an answer, he swept past the
officers and entered the darkened Courthouse.
"The
chapel," the officer called from behind him. "He's in the chapel.
I'd—uh, I have to stay on post, I'm—"
"I
can find it," Raithe said, and strode into the darkness.
The
atrium of the Courthouse was an immense vault of shadow, striped with
dancing orange crosses cast through the cruciform slot-windows by the flames
that approached outside. Raithe limped through the atrium, his boot heels
clacking cavernously. He'd been inside the Courthouse dozens of times; in
boyhood, he'd worked as a page for the Imperial Messenger-News to help
his father pay for the cost of his education at the embassy school. But seeing
it gloomed in flame-tattered shadow—and the smell
The
Courthouse had always had a peculiar odor of its own: the colognes and powders
and flower-oil sachets of the noble judges half captured by the fear-sweat of
guilty men, then soaked permanently into the limestone. That blend of perfume
and guilt had always been, for Raithe, the smell of justice.
Now
the Courthouse smelled only of rotting plants and burning oil.
The
chapel had once been a shrine to Prorithun, the sky god who was the keeper of
men's oaths and the defender of Ankhanan law. Here the judges would pray and
purify themselves before presiding in court. A Prorithar priest had always been
present, empowered by the sky god to bestow upon the judges His Blessing, to
render them temporarily proof against persuasive or compulsive magicks. Though
Prorithun no longer reigned in Ankhanan courts, the chapel remained. Now it was
a shrine to Ma'elKoth.
Here,
too, the door stood open, flanked by Eyes of God.
"Hey,
you," one of them said, intense but low, as though he feared to be
overheard. "I don't know how you got in here, but you have to leave. Get
out."
Raithe
stopped in a column of firelight that painted half of him scarlet and left the
rest in black shadow. He knotted his fingers. "I am Ambassador—"
"I
don't give a squirt who you are, pally." The officer paced forward,
stripes of firelight rippling over him as he approached up the long dark
hallway. "If you're still here when I count three, I'll kill you.
One."
Raithe
frowned. Could some of Prorithun's influence still linger? Again, he knotted
his fingers. "Put away your sword," he said.
"Two."
"Go
on, get out of here," the other officer said. "He means it."
Raithe
settled into himself. He sighed, and shifted his balance forward onto the balls
of his feet. Reluctantly, he put his right hand near the hilt of Kosall.
"I don't want to fight."
"That
makes one of us." The officer took another step; now one long stride from
Raithe, he said, "Three."
Yet
he did not strike. Perhaps from this close, he could see death in Raithe's sad,
wintry eyes.
"Your
Radiance?" Raithe called, pitching his voice to carry. "Your
Radiance, it's Raithe—Ambassador Raithe."
"Sure
you are," the officer said.
"Your
Radiance, I must speak with you."
From
beyond the chapel's open door came a sepulchral croak that hummed with the
resonance of an empty room. "Go away."
"You
heard the man, pally," the officer said, edging even closer. He raised his
sword like a boy cocking a stick to threaten a strange dog.
"Your
Radiance, it's about Caine," Raithe said. "I must speak with you
about Caine."
For
a long-stretched moment, no one moved.
"Let
him pass."
The
officer took a step back, and swung his sword to wave Raithe on. Raithe passed
him without a glance, but as he did, he felt a shift of weight in that hungry
wounded beast.
He
said, "Don't."
He
stopped, waiting. Oil from his left fist gathered into thick droplets that
spattered on the floor.
The
guard at his back slowly lowered the sword he had swiftly raised. "You
can't scare me."
"No,"
Raithe agreed, without turning. "But I can kill you, though I would rather
not."
He
felt again the shift of that hungry wounded beast this time a settling back, a
slow uncoiling. He nodded to himself, and walked on.
6
The
high vault of the chapel glowed with faint, reflected firelight; it leaked
through the colored glass from the airshaft outside and rippled on the rows of
padded knee-benches to either side of the aisle. The shift and pulse of the
reflected light gave an eerie aspect of life to the stone Ma'elKoth that stood,
double manheight, in the chancel. A bundle of filthy rags, stinking of oil and
smoke, lay at the foot of the altar.
Raithe
stood motionless in the transept, staring up at God.
A
tear rolled from his right eye, tracing the fold beside his mouth to fall
silently from his chin. Slowly, feeling suddenly old, ancient, Raithe dropped
to one knee and lowered his head. He made a fist of his clean right hand. He
struck himself on his chest, above his heart, and opened his palm toward the
image of his god. Father, forgive me, he prayed. I have no choice.
More
tears pricked his eyes.
Forgive
me.
Yet
somewhere in his heart, a secret flame burned. Even his tear felt forced—felt performed—as
it rolled down his cheek. What have I become? "Raithe . .
."
The
voice came from the chancel. He lifted his head to find that the bundle of rags
at the foot of the altar had opened to reveal a fatigue-seamed face smeared
with muck. The rags shifted and moved in unpleasantly liquid ways, as though they
covered some soft-boned sea creature that was barely more than a sac of
jelly.
"Your
Radiance," Raithe said. "Thank you for receiving me."
The
bundle of rags shook itself and gradually unfolded to the height of a man.
"I know why you're here."
I
doubt it, Raithe thought. Remaining
on one knee, he said, "I have come to save the city, and the
Empire."
"Don't
lie to me, Raithe." The rags shambled toward him along the nave.
"Everyone lies to me. I can't understand why everyone thinks I
don't already know the truth." A hand like that of a corpse in
rigor extended from the rags, pointing with immobile fingers. "You've come
for Caine. You were in this with him from the beginning."
"Your
Radiance, I can help you. I have a cure. I can make you well."
"Don't
lie to me!" The hand jerked at
him as though casting a curse. "You came to me with this idea—this
plan to bring him here. You came with him. You inflicted him upon
me, and upon my city. All this—" The hand circled high, drawing in
the boundless ravage of the city and the Empire around it. "All this is your
doing. You made this happen, Raithe!" White flecks of spittle sprayed.
"You! You! You!"
Each
shout brought the swing of the accusing hand a step closer. Raithe could only
lower his head once more; eyes directed at the ragged oil-stained hem that half
masked a pair of cut and bleeding bare feet, he said, "Your Radiance,
please—"
The
shouts became a screech for the Eyes of God; a rattle of boots answered—many
boots.
"Your
Radiance, there is a cure. You can be saved. The Empire can be saved—"
The
rigored hand swung down to point. "Arrest this man! Arrest him and kill
him!"
Raithe
finished softly, "Humanity can be saved ..
Now
leather boots that sprouted leggings of chain shuffled into place around him.
"All right, pally—that's it for you. Let's have that sword."
Raithe
stood.
Five
Eyes of God surrounded him, swords at the ready. Three more waited behind. The
beast had him in its grasp. "The sword, pally. You can't fight all of
us."
Raithe
raised his black-gleaming left hand, and his right hovered an inch from
Kosall's hilt. "Yes, I can."
"You'll
lose."
Raithe
flicked his left hand at the officer who had spoken, and droplets of the black
oil spattered across his face; at the same moment he seized Kosall and turned
the awakening blade so that it sliced instantly through his belt. One officer
fell backward, howling as flames burst around his eyes; another stared dumbly
at the stub of his sword, sheared off a finger's breadth above the guard.
But
as they fell back, others came forward.
"I
have your deaths on my conscience already," Raithe said. "Killing you
all costs me nothing. But if you would live a little longer, leave now."
The
voice of the beast spoke from the rags. "Any man who crosses that
threshold while this traitor lives shall feel the full weight of Imperial
justice."
"There
is no Imperial justice,' Raithe told them. "And this man will not live to
see you punished. Go."
Their
response was a single shared glance, to coordinate their rush.
As
a swordsman, Raithe was only competent, but Kosall was a singularly forgiving
weapon. Its irresistible edge took no account of shield or parrying blade, and
armor provided only barely more resistance than naked flesh. His sense of the
beast let Raithe meet attacks before they were even begun: in seconds the aisle
around him was littered with bits of sliced-off swords and pieces of cloven
shields. To pass within Kosall's reach on his right was to bleed; to close with
Raithe from the left was to burn.
But
he was one, and they were six. Raithe bled as well: from a long slash on his
thigh and a deep stab below his ribs. Despite his words, he killed no one.
These were the same men he was fighting to save-and he was uncertain what
taking a life with Kosall might do to the goddess within its blade.
Now
knives replaced broken swords, but the Eyes hesitated. To attack a sword-armed
man with a knife is foolish; to do the same to a man armed with Kosall is
suicidal.
A
moment fell, and another, and another.
"Cowards!"
hissed the beast. The rags shouldered through the officers. "Cowards!
Traitors! Villains! Here is how We deal with traitors!" A pair
of knives blossomed from tattered sleeves and swung wide, and the
Patriarch sprang upon him.
Raithe's
reaction had been trained into him by years in the abbey school, by hours on
the diskmat and days spent hammering millions of punches into leather-wrapped
bags of sand. Kosall shifted instantly from his right hand to his left; his
left foot swung out a precise handspan, and his weight transferred smoothly
onto it from his right while the knuckles of his right fist described an
invisible wall exactly at the point of the Patriarch's chin. Chin met wall,
bone to bone
And
Toa-Sytell collapsed.
I've
knocked out the Patriarch, Raithe
thought blankly.
The
Eyes of God officers stared, uncomprehending; they could no more believe what
Raithe had done than he could himself. He repeated silently, I've knocked
out the Patriarch, as though thinking the words again could make the act
more real.
What
have I become?
He
lifted his eyes to the Eyes of God.
"Run,"
he said.
They
ran.
7
Raithe
stared down at the crumpled form of the unconscious Patriarch, terrified by how
good he felt. Not happy—he could never be happy again—but calm. Centered. At
peace.
In
control.
As
though his own chin had met the same wall his knuckles had described against
Toa-Sytell's, a stunning impact had knocked things loose inside him, and now,
for the first time, he began to understand
Alone
in the chapel, amid the dancing glass-stained firelight, Raithe turned once
more to pray. But he did not pray from his knees, with bent neck and lowered
eyes, as he had been taught. Instead he stood like a man and met the stone eyes
of the icon of his god. He struck his breast again, and again opened his hand
in offering.
But
this was his left, and it opened upon the blind god's black venom. I am Your
Beloved Child, he thought. I will always honor You. Now, and forever,
you have my love, my devotion. My worship.
But
not my obedience.
I
will always be Your Child, but I am a child no longer.
There
are too many children; too many grow old but never grow up. I think I
would have liked to be one of them, but that does not seem to be my fate. My
destiny.
He
allowed himself a bitter smile.
Father,
forgive me, for I finally know what I'm doing.
8
The
clamor from the guardroom reached Raithe even up in the broad hall outside the
chapel: shouted threats and tearful pleas, roars of rage and shrieks of pain.
In the stairwell, it was painfully loud. Kosall in one hand, leash in the
other, Raithe rounded the last bend in the stairway.
In
the small antechamber below, six men in chainmail that bore the emblem of the
Eyes of God paced back and forth, gesturing as though they argued in voices
that could not be heard above the clamor. The clamor rose from beyond the steel
gate—within the guardroom itself—which was packed solid with desperate,
panicked men in the gear of the Donjon Guard. The men of the Guard struggled
and clawed and bit each other, fighting to get to the gate; an anemone-spray of
arms waved between the bars, fingers clutching futilely toward the Eyes of God
beyond.
Raithe
watched for a moment, then he nodded to himself and thoughtfully brought
Kosall's forte against the corner of stone beside him. Kosall bit into the
stone with an earsplitting squeal. Below him, men jumped and flinched and
covered their ears. He turned the blade slowly, carving a chunk from the wall
as though the stone were hard cheese. The chunk rattled down the steps to the
anteroom floor, skittered slowly across it with a fading chikchikchik, and
then there was silence.
Raithe
pointed Kosall at the Eyes of God. "You can go."
They
stared at him, taking in his tattered clothes that dripped black oil down one
side, while the other side hung thick and red, soaked in the blood that still
pulsed from both the slice on his thigh and the stab wound below his ribs. One
of the Eyes straightened and stepped forward. "We are ordered to hold this
gate—"
"I
don't care. Go."
"Toa-Sytell
himself—"
Raithe
drew on the leash in his other hand.
Around
the bend of the stairway, leashed by the prisoner collar locked around his
neck, hands bound and mouth gagged with strips torn from his own robes, came
His Radiant Holiness Toa-Sytell, Steward of the Empire and Patriarch of the
Church of the Beloved Children of Ma'elKoth.
His
gaze was fixed, unseeing; as Raithe descended the last few steps to the
anteroom, the Patriarch stumbled and half fell, striking his knees
hard upon the stone floor. He knelt there abjectly, a low animal Whine
leaking around his gag. Tears rolled from his blankly staring eyes.
Kosall's
whine hummed through the autumnal rustle of indrawn breath.
Raithe
said, "Go."
The
officers, with many an exchanged glance, slowly and carefully circled around
him, then backed up the stairs.
"Hey,"
a Donjon Guard said from beyond the gate. "Hey, what about us? You
can't leave us—you don't know what's going on down there—!"
"Enlighten me."
From
many voices in conflicting babble, Raithe was able to piece together an
impression of a riot in the Pit below. He thought, Caine, and remembered
the boil of unhuman ghosts through the caverns: caverns that connect to the
Donjon, through the Shaft.
He
took a long stride forward and swung Kosall overhand. The men beyond shoved
themselves frantically back from the bars. Sparks flew from the gate's lock as
the blade sheared it through, and the gate swung open. Raithe stepped to one
side, shortening Toa-Sytell's leash as though the Patriarch were an unruly dog,
and silently watched the rush of guards on their way up and out.
The
guardroom went quiet. The Donjon door stood open. The stair-well beyond was
dark as an open mouth. Raithe took one deep breath, staring down, then
shrugged. Drawing the Patriarch after him, he went down.
As
he descended, the living ghosts that had peopled the back of his mind slowly
faded; fading likewise was his sense of the methodical approach of the Artan
forces, both overland and along the river. By the time he reached the lower
landing he was, for the first time in what could have been forever, alone
inside his head. Even Kosall's whine trailed away to silence.
He
stopped, frowning.
If
there was indeed a riot beyond these doors, he could not hear it. The loudest
sound in the stairwell was the shuffle of the Patriarch's battered and bleeding
feet. Scant light trickled from the guardroom; Raithe could discern only the
faintest gleam from the studs that fastened the brass bindings on this door. He
glanced at the featureless silhouette of Toa-Sytell, and found no advice in his
silent shape.
He
cautiously pulled the door handle. The doors were locked—or possibly held from
the far side. He pressed his ear against the door. Now he could hear voices,
many voices, from the Pit beyond, though he could make out no words among the
general quiet murmur. He allowed himself a slow sigh, and nodded to himself.
He
breathed himself into his Control Discipline and built within his mindeye an
image of Caine as he had last seen him, chained to the dungcart, drawn away in
the processional while the Imperial Army Band played "Justice of God."
He detailed the image with every scar he had seen in five days of study on the
barge, with every sweat streak that striped the travel dust on his skin; he
laid strands of grey along his temples, and imaged perfectly the white-salted
stubble that had coated his cheeks and chin.
Now
from this image he stripped away the sunlight and the music; he erased the
dungcart and the shackles; finally even the tunic and pants of rough homespun
evaporated from his consciousness. Then there was only Caine.
And
Raithe saw him. Vaguely, blurrily, fading in and out of view, as if through a
mist.
He
sat upon a pile of rags and tattered clothing that somehow, beneath him, was a
throne; he wore an age-greyed tunic, frayed at the hem and worn thin enough to
be translucent, that became armor polished like the sun. At his feet lay a
dying elf; at his side knelt a massively muscled ogrillo who tied strips of rag
around Caine's raddled legs with hands that were themselves heavily bandaged;
before him stood a thick-bodied woman, hands folded behind her like a student
reciting in abbey school. Caine's hair had gone whiter than Raithe remembered
it, and his beard had grown in full and shaggy; his cheeks had sunk close upon
his teeth; hunger and illness had drawn his eyes deeper within his skull.
But
those eyes still gleamed like embers at the back of a cave.
He
shook his head to wipe the vision from his mind, and he passed the sleeve of
his sword arm across his brow. Raithe had seen Caine not as he is, but as
Raithe needed him to be: beclouded in a fog of legend. More than human: a hero:
a myth.
Probably,
he thought, he is dead. Many
will be dead, and many more injured. But: someone may have touched his blood.
Someone may have tasted it, if it ran in the water, or was splashed from a wound.
This may be enough.
It
will have to be.
He
tried to summon the power of his mindhand, to manipulate the lock upon these
doors as he had those in Garrette's office a lifetime ago, but his power had
deserted him. He had a vague recollection—something about the rock from which
the Donjon is carved—but he did not trouble to pursue it; he had another
option.
He
pushed Kosall's point between the doors and slid it downward until it met
resistance. By extreme concentration, he was able to direct a shudder of power
into the blade; it rattled to life, sank, then swung free before falling silent
once more. Gasping, Raithe was forced to lean on the stone for a moment,
to regather the shreds of his strength. When he pulled the door handle with the
hand that held the Patriarch's leash, the door opened.
Framed
in the stairshaft's shadow, Raithe found an array of crossbows centered upon
his breast, held steadily by men and elves on the far side of the balcony, a
hundred feet away. A voice closer at hand but out of sight said firmly,
"Onto the balcony. Nice and slow."
Raithe
moved into the light.
A
few paces to his right, another small group of mingled species held cocked and
leveled crossbows, near enough that the curve of the balcony's retaining wall
could offer no protection. "Put down the sword," one of them ordered.
Raithe
ignored them. He took one step closer to the retaining wall and looked down
into the Pit. On a pile of rags and clothes become a throne, wearing a grey
ragged tunic that should have been polished steel
Gathered
round him: elf, ogrillo, human
Gaze
as solid as the Donjon stone: a state of being in which the unexpected receives
barely a blink of recognition.
"Raithe."
Raithe
said, "Caine."
A
long, slow, measuring stare: a whole conversation passed in the meeting of eyes
of grey ice with those of black fire. Raithe had to lower his head.
"Can
you give me one reason," Caine said, "why I shouldn't have you shot
where you stand?"
Raithe
tugged on the leash, drawing Toa-Sytell to the retaining wall where Caine could
see him. The Patriarch moaned into his gag. Caine said, "Well."
He
seemed to ponder this development for a moment; then he folded his arms and
cocked his head fractionally to one side. "That," he said, "buys
you a trip down here, to tell me what the fuck you're up to."
One
of the crossbowmen on the balcony said, "He's armed."
Caine
nodded, and spoke softly to the elf who seemed to be drowsing at his feet; the
elf lifted his head and opened eyes so fever-shot that to Raithe, even dozens
of yards away, they looked like bloody eggs. Those raw eyes swallowed Raithe
whole.
He
swayed.
The
elf said something to Caine that Raithe could not hear, then laid his head upon
his bed of rags and closed his eyes once more. Caine said to the crossbowmen,
"Don't worry about it. Let him come."
Raithe
led Toa-Sytell around the long curve of the balcony and down the straight
span of the stairbridge. The mass of prisoners parted before him so that he
could lead the Patriarch to Caine's feet.
He
felt the pressure of their massed stare like a yoke across his shoulders, its
weight compressing his spine, anchoring his feet to the stone. The ogrillo
hulked nearby—closer to Raithe than to Caine—wearing a glare that invited violence.
The woman mirrored him, saving only that her gaze was one of dispassionate
measurement rather than threat. Blood trickled down his leg, and he could
clearly hear the slow drop of the black oil from his left hand.
Caine
said expressionlessly, "That's Kosall."
Raithe
lifted the sword. The ogrillo shifted his weight onto his forepads.
"Yes."
"You've
been using it."
Raithe
looked at the slow pulse of blood soaking down his clothing. "Not
well."
Caine
did not respond.
"I
have—" Raithe began weakly, then coughed, sighed a deep breath, and
continued with more strength. "I have come to ask you to save the
world."
9
Caine
offered a smile that was cold, remote, and thin as the arc of a saber.
"Yeah?"
"In
your blood," Raithe said, "there is a, a countervirus—"
He stumbled over the unfamiliar word. "—that is the cure for
Garrette's disease." "In my blood?"
Caine
rocked back on his throne of rags, and his eyes fixed upon something
that was not there.
"Yes,"
Raithe said.
"In
my blood ..." Caine repeated, but now with a tone of slow, wondering
discovery, as though this explained some long-standing mystery.
"Yes,"
Raithe said again. "The tiniest drop will save a man, and then he himself
will carry this cure, and can pass it on—"
"I
know how it works," Caine said. The wonder drained from his face, leaving
only flat, cold stone. "What do you want me to do about it?" Raithe
stared.
Caine
stared back.
Raithe
gave his head a tiny disbelieving shake. He drew Toa-Sytell up beside him.
"A drop of your blood, Caine. That's all I ask. One drop. You can save his
life."
Caine
lifted his right hand and examined it as though it were some piece of exotic
machinery, unfamiliar in design and uncertain of use. He watched his knuckles
as he made a fist; then he opened his fingers again. He met Raithe's gaze,
shrugged, and turned his hand over, palm up. "What's in it for me?"
"Caine,"
Raithe said patiently, "he's the Patriarch. The Empire needs
him."
"Fuck
the Patriarch." Caine pushed himself forward and took his weight
elbow-to-knee. "The last time I was this close to that little cocksucker,
he knifed me. Fuck the Empire, too. And, while you're at it, fuck
yourself."
Raithe
knew better than to waste breath on argument or plea; he was, after all, the
world's leading expert on Caine. "What do you want?"
Caine's
smile sharpened. "First," he said with dark satisfaction,
"though I know it's the worst kind of manners to mock a guy when he's
down, I want to remind you: You told me that nothing, ever again, would be
about what I want." He showed his teeth. "Shit, kid, thinking
about that makes me all warm and fuzzy inside, like I just ate a kitten.
Second?" He opened his other hand. "Make me an offer."
"Your
freedom—" Raithe began, nodding back toward the Donjon stairway above.
That
open hand waved a contemptuous dismissal. "My freedom has nothing to do
with you."
Raithe
swayed. The corners of the room dimmed, darkening into a tunnel that stretched
ever longer, and the only light at the distant end was the face of Caine.
"Anything,
then," he said tiredly. "Even my life."
"Your
life? Look around you, pinhead." Five or six of the crossbowmen took more
careful aim. "I have your life already. I just haven't decided what I want
to do with it."
"Then
what, Caine?" Raithe asked quietly, eyes drifting closed, dizzy with blood
loss and defeat. "What? Tell me. Say it, and if it is within my
power—"
"When
I make up my mind," he said, leaning back once more. "Start by
telling me what the fuck happened to you."
Raithe
stared at him blankly, uncomprehending. Words echoed along the dark tunnel in
his head without releasing meaning.
"How'd
you get in here?" Caine said, explaining. "Where'd you
get those wounds? What happened to your face? You look like you got boiled
in oil. How in hot staggering fuck did you get the Patriarch on a prisoner
leash? And what's that shit all over your hand?"
Raithe
lifted Kosall. The hanging lamps rippled orange light along its silver-painted
design. He let the blade swing down by the quillon so that he could reverse it;
he took again its hilt and spent the last of his strength to bring the blade to
life, then drove its point into the stone. He let go and stepped back, leaving
the sword to gently sway between them, and turned his hand as though to offer
Caine its hilt.
"I—"
His voice thickened, and he coughed apologetically to clear it; the pressure of
his cough shot colored sparks curling through the tunnel that stretched ever
farther, ever darker.
"I
found out what those runes were for," he said, and fainted.
On
the day the dead man named himself, that naming became a clarion, calling the
heroes to battle. They came severally, one by one and together: the mad queen
and the dead goddess, the faithful steward and the dark angel's spawn, the
crooked knight, the dragoness, the child of the river, and the god who had been
a man.
When
the dead man named himself, that naming shredded all veils. None could now deny
their natures; now was the test of their truths. They had come to fight the war
between the dead man and the god of dust and ashes.
For
the dead man's grave had been unsealed. From that mortal cocoon arose a
butterfly; from that tomb of flesh, a dark angel, come with a flaming sword.
TWENTY-TWO
That
fucking sword
A
steel crucifix, head wrapped in sweat-stained leather
It
swung like that—in exactly that gentle arc—through the waterfall's spray below
Khryl's Saddle. Mist collected into droplets and trickled down the blade, and
washed her staring eyes
They
wouldn't even let me wash off her blood .. .
I can
still taste it.
I
carry the countervirus. She must have created it in her own bloodstream. Shit,
it makes sense. That's why nobody in the Pit has HRVP. That changes things.
That changes a lot of things.
Sitting
around here waiting for somebody to come down and kill us is no longer an
option.
"You."
I jab a finger at Toa-Sytell, who's twitching like a panicked dog and whining
through his gag. "Sit."
The
stupid fuck looks for a chair.
"Right
where you are, shithead. Sit. Dinnie, get the leash."
The
nearest Serpent takes the prisoner leash, and Toa-Sytell lowers himself to the
floor, slow and stiff like an arthritic old man. And who am I to criticize? He
moves better than I do.
"Orbek."
"Little
brother?"
"Take
ten guys and reconnoiter upstairs. Nobody armed but you."
He
looks a question at me. I answer, "You're not going up there to fight. You
meet any resistance at all, get your ass back down here. If the place is empty,
see what your boys can scrounge for weapons and armor. Take one of them
along." I wave a hand at the six Donjon guards we captured, tied up near
the foot of the stairbridge. "They'll know where the emergency shit is
kept."
He
nods. "Like you say, little brother."
I
dismiss him. "T'Passe, see what you can do for Raithe. At least stop the
bleeding."
She blinks
at me, which is what passes on that bulldog face of hers for a gape of
astonishment.
"Did
I stutter? And be careful of that black shit on his hand—I don't like the looks
of that at all. Some of those wounds could be chemical burns."
She
nods, and kneels beside him, and her strong square hands go to work tearing the
rags from my pallet into strips she can bind around his wounds.
"T'Passe—"
She looks back at me. "Tie him up first," I tell her. "That
fucker's dangerous:"
"He's
barely even breathing—"
"Do
it."
She
shrugs, and the first of her bandages goes instead to restrain his ankles; then
she pauses to consider how she can tie his wrists without getting that oily
stuff on her hands.
And I
can't stop looking at the sword.
I
keep seeing it sway above me in time with my breathing. I keep feeling its
brain-freezing icicle spear me to the sand. I keep feeling it hum inside my
spine while I pull Karl's neck against its edge--
"Deliann?"
He
lies still at my side, eyes closed, breath hitching, face dry and corpse-pale.
"Kris, come on, man. Stay with me. I need you."
His
eyes don't open, exactly; it's more like they kind of roll forward from the
back of his head. "Yes, Hari ..." he murmurs. "I hear you."
"You got something off Raithe, right? You flashed on him?" "Yes
..."
"I
need to know. He's out cold, Kris. I need to know what the hell is going
on."
"I
can't ... It's too much," he says, faintly. "Words—I could . . . in
the Meld, I could share—we can Meld-"
Christ,
he's raving again. "Come on, Kris, snap out of it. You can't Meld
with a human."
Now
his eyes do open, and a distant smile creases his lips. "Hari, I am
human."
Uh,
right.
I
roll my shoulders to untie the knots that are cramping all the way up the side
of my neck. "Do it, then."
"You
won't like it."
"Shit,
Kris, it's a little late to start worrying about what I won't like." "There
are things—things about the goddess—"
"I'm
not worried about the goddess. Shanna's dead."
His
gaze drifts out of focus. "Mostly."
A
thrill trickles down my spine and congeals into an iceball in my guts.
"You better tell me what you mean by that."
"I
can't" His voice is weakening; I can hear how much effort speaking costs
him. "I can only show you."
"All
right," I say solidly. "I'm ready."
"No,
you're not. You cannot possibly be." He takes a deep breath, then another,
and another, gathering his strength. "Find mindview."
It
takes some doing, but in a few minutes I can pick out some of those black
threads twisting insubstantially through the air; a few minutes after that,
they solidify from mere imagining to actual hallucination. Another light
gathers in the Pit, too, now: a soft but penetrating glow, like a full harvest
moon. It draws in around us, until it seems to cradle Deliann's head. That soft
glow wells into his face from some unimaginable spring, brims him full of
moonlight, then reaches out and stabs me through the eye.
The
light eggshells my head and blows out my brains.
Then,
into where I used to be, he sluices Raithe's life.
Ah‑
fuck‑
fuck me
.. .
...
hhurrr .. .
2
A lot
of it isn't so bad.
Toa-Sytell's
chin against my knuckles . . . caustic oil leaching from the pores of my fist
... flames on the dockside ... drowning in Shanna .. . the logic of pain . . .
the hum of Kosall, warm in my hand, there between the crates on the deck of the
barge .. .
it's
the other shit I can't take.
It's
the
What
they did
What
they're doing
I
can't even think it; the briefest flash of the image rips me inside out and
slams me to the cold stone of the Pit floor, puking.
"Caine?"
This from t'Passe, close by. "Caine, do you need help?
Vomit
claws out of me, slashing at my throat, drenching my mouth with blood. It
takes a long time. A lot longer than I would have guessed. Dry heaves keep
twisting my guts, and that's okay.
Saves
me from having to talk.
I
manage to get my eyes open. The pool of my vomit spreads toward one of my
hands. I don't move. Compared to my hands, my vomit is clean.
I
force myself to examine the black crust along Kosall's blade. Dried blood. Her
blood. Half of her falling away from the other half. The blade chopping into
her face. That brief buzz as her life drains through the sword
Drains
into the sword.
I can
handle this. I can take it. I'd rather look at these crusted remains of
Shanna's life than think about what those soulless shitbag child molesters are
doing to Faith.
My
traitor heart ignores my desire. I can hear her scream. I can taste her tears.
Faith
My
god, Faith
Whack
A
sharp sting from my right hand: I stare at it numbly, for it has become a fist,
and a thin line of blood trickles from my knuckles, and only then do I
understand that I have punched the stone floor beneath me.
This
is the kind of pain I can handle.
This
is the kind of pain I like.
So I
do it again.
Whack
The
calluses that once protected my knuckles faded years ago, but my bone density
must still be good; my knuckles don't break. The flesh peels back over them,
exposing red-streaked ivory like a pair of dice in sockets of raw meat.
"What
is he doing?" t'Passe says. "Why is he doing that?"
Whack
"Hari,
stop," Kris says from the floor beside me.
I
turn my head and meet his eyes. They brim with compassion. So much compassion
that there's no room for mercy. He won't spare me this. He'll hurt for me, hurt
with me, but he won't spare me.
Whack
I
leave a couple bone chips behind in the pool of vomit.
"There's
something wrong with him," t'Passe says. "He needs help. Make him
stop."
People
come close, hands out to offer me aid, to offer me comfort. To offer me life.
"Touch me," I force through my teeth, "and I'll kill you."
Everyone
stares at me. I lift my fist, and shrug an apology. Blood trails down my
forearm and drips from my elbow.
"My
daughter," I say by way of explanation, and they seem, somehow, to
understand. But they all keep staring; Deliann, t'Passe, the Cainists and Folk
and Serpents, even Toa-Sytell—and slowly it gets through to me what they want.
They
want me to be the guy who knows what to do next.
And I
am.
I can
see it: the smart move. The responsible thing. Slip away through the caverns.
Run downstream. Defend the sword. Gather allies, fight a guerrilla war. Seek
among the great mages of the Folk for a way to cleanse the blind god's taint
from the sword and from the river. I can see it, but I can't say it. I can't put
words to it and make it into a plan.
Because
to do that would leave Faith in the hand of my enemy. Whack
I
stare at the chipped bone of my knuckles. It's starting to show hairline
fractures of black scaling through the blood-washed ivory. It hurts. It hurts a
lot.
Pain
is a tool. Nature's tool. It's nature's way of saying Don't do that,
dumbshit. My enemy is a universe away; I can't get to him. But now I know
who he is. What he is. And I can make him come to me.
Then
I'll let nature take its course.
Orbek
and his detail tumble out of the Courthouse stairs onto the balcony in a Mack
Sennett tangle. "Boss! Hey, Boss!" Orbek shouts.
"God-damn Courthouse's full of fuck-me Monastics!"
I
lift my head. "I know"
The
lunatic jumble Deliann poured into me clicks into place inside my head, faster
and faster as I start to see how everything connects with each other and with
itself Shanna and Faith, Tan'elKoth and Kollberg, the Monastics who come at us
from above and the Folk from below, the ring of Social Police troops that
tightens around the city. Raithe. Deliann.
Me.
This
has a shape.
Our
lives ride an infernal tornado, a vortex that draws us, each and all, down to
its single point of central calm. I can see it coming: the shape of the future.
That shape gives me all the strength I need.
"All
right," I say, my voice hoarse and thick. I say it again, louder.
"All right. Shut up and listen. You want to know what we're gonna do? I'll
fucking tell you what we're gonna do."
I
look at t'Passe, and twitch my bloody fingers at Raithe. "Wake him
up." "Caine—"
"Wake
him up," I repeat. "I have something he wants—" I lift my hand
and watch the gather of scarlet become a drop that falls into the filth beneath
me. "And there's something I want from him."
I make
that hand into a fist, and squeeze out a thicker flow, rich and round and red.
I can taste it.
"I'm
gonna offer him a deal."
3
At
the rectum of the Shaft, below the crusted gape of the sausage grinder, the
iron grate that seals the sump is set into stone. A stonebender rockmagus did
the work, under contract to the Imperial Constabulary. Her song had softened
the stone to the consistency of warm tallow; once the grate had been pressed
into place, the stone had closed around it like living lips, and the silent
melody of the rockmagus had hardened the limestone to the solidity of granite.
In
the Shaft, the human eye can find only darkness, but that is not be-cause there
is no light; eyes that see deeper into the lower frequencies of the spectrum
might find the Shaft illumined with the dim thermal glow of living bodies, and
the brighter plumes they exhale. Had such eyes looked upon the sump grate now,
they would have seen stubby fingers wriggle upward through the bars like pale
grubs twisting from black soil; had ears sharper than human listened, they
would have heard a dark hum that pulsed with the millennial patience of the
limestone itself. More fingers joined, and large hands pushed at the middle of
the grate, and the iron squeezed free from the limestone's softened kiss.
The
grate was passed silently from hand to hand down the sump all the way to the
underground river below; an altered hum rehardened the stone lips of the sump,
and two rockmagi climbed out. They were followed by a pair of hulking
lambent-eyed trolls, then more stonebenders, some primals, more trolls, a few
clumsy night-blind ogres, and even some treetoppers who had made the long climb
up the sump with their birdlances strapped across their backs.
Many
had armor; all had weapons. Each of the primals carried a small griffinstone,
looted from the secret caches of the Thaumaturgic Corps, and many had magickal
weapons to use the power the griffinstones provide. One of the ogres took a
long whiff of the Shaft's wet stench and murmured that he was hungry; a troll
replied that the place was usually lined with humans chained to the walls: a
homophage's dream buffet.
But
the Shaft was empty.
Up
the long, long step-cut slope, there was nothing to be found save shackles
left open, discarded, dangling by their chains from the thick bolts that
anchored them to the limestone.
One
of the rockmagi said grimly, "Might be trouble, this. Get moving."
The rockmagus pointed the length of the Shaft. "Up there, have business,
we."
But
when they broke through the door into the Pit, the Donjon was as
deserted as the Shaft had been.
Treetoppers,
primals, ogres, trolls, stonebenders, and ogrilloi ranged throughout the
concentric rings of tunnels lined with private cells, searching every one. The
sole inhabitants of the Donjon were the corpses stacked at the downstream end
of the Pit.
The
doors that led toward the Courthouse above could not be forced, even by the
strength of ogres. Someone suggested the doors might be magically held, and for
a time there was debate whether the doors should be chopped through with axes,
burned through by griffinstone-powered flame, or removed by a rockmagus
softening the stone in which they were set. While this debate grew more and
more heated, tangles of demented illogic twisting like threads drawing violence
from thin air, Kierendal arrived.
She'd
gotten the news by treetopper, and she came through the Shaft door cradled in
the arms of Rugo the ogre, who peered around nervously, tongue shooting up
along the curve of his tusks, because he had a sick suspicion that maybe that
little fey fucker, that Changeling, had survived the battle on Commons' Beach,
too, and he didn't want to get in trouble again with Kier for letting him live.
He was pretty relieved to find the place as empty as the treetopper had said.
Alongside
Rugo paced Jest, at heel like a dog, eagerly obedient to the prods and growled
commands of the armored ogrillo, Tchako, who guarded him. Blood still beaded
from the tooth punctures on his lower lip, and when he looked down from the balcony
at the stack of bodies against one wall of the Pit, his mouth hurt worse. He
thought his friend Caine's corpse was probably lying down there within that
stack like a log in a rick of firewood, and reflected, Better him than me.
And
when Kierendal and Rugo and Jest and Tchako came in, the primals and
stonebenders and ogres and all started to jabber at once, everyone trying to
explain why the doors should be broken this way, or that way, or some other
way, and there came angry snarls, and shoving, and the rasp of steel on steel.
Some
of the clouds of fever had begun to part within Kierendal's mind; in the hours
since Jest's capture, she had even begun to doubt Caine's guilt. She was
unaccountably relieved to find the Pit deserted. This relief troubled her more
than her fever had, and sharpened the edge of her Fantasy-voice as she
hissed inside all their heads. "He is not here. We are too late. To force
the door is fruitless—we cannot fight the whole army above. We have lost
him."
They
fell silent while they considered the consequences of losing Caine.
As
though the silence was itself a signal, the door to the Courthouse stairs swung
open. In the doorway stood a huge, vicious-looking ogrillo with bandaged
wrists, wearing a hauberk three sizes too small and carrying a Donjon guard's
club. His lip flaps drew back in an approximation of a human's smile, and he
waggled his tusks invitingly. "Hey, you fuckers," he said. "You
looking for Caine? There's a party in the Hall of Justice, hey? Big party.
Invites all around."
"What?"
Kierendal rasped painfully, surprise drawing a word from her throat instead of
her mind. "What?"
"Come
on," he said, beckoning. "Don't be late. Everybody come."
Kierendal, naked and trembling, a half-dead, mutilated, spiderish thing, said,
"Caine wants me to come to a party?"
"You
gotta come, Kierendal," the ogrillo said seriously. "You're the guest
of honor, hey?"
4
You
get into the Hall of Justice from the second floor of the Courthouse. It's a vaulted
auditorium, where the King—later the Emperor, and until a couple days ago the
Steward—of Ankhana sat to try cases that came before his personal judgment. Its
design dates from the days when some civil cases were decided by combat; the
circular expanse of floor where the litigants stand is still walled, still
traditionally strewn with clean sand. Still called the arena. One thing I can
say about arenas in general: Better to be up here looking down, than down there
looking up.
Believe
me.
On a
broad dais above the arena stands the Ebony Throne, brother to the Oaken Throne
in the Great Hall of the Colhari Palace. Since the Assumption of Ma'elkoth,
though, the Patriarch has passed judgment from a smaller, unadorned, unassuming
chair—the Steward's Seat—on a dais of its own, below and to the right: the
proper place for he who is only a servant of the God above.
But
the Ebony Throne has a better view.
It's
pretty comfortable, too.
I sit
with the blade of Kosall naked across my knees, and survey my new kingdom.
The
seating sweeps upward in a steep bowl, broken by an imposing prow of limestone
that rises behind the Ebony Throne fully to the vault overhead. This bigass
wedge had once been carved with the figure of Prorithun, but now bears the
current face of Ankhanan Justice, such as it is: Ma'elKoth. Only Ma'elKoth can
look over the shoulder of whatever judge might sit below.
Big
bastard always did like to kibitz.
Row
after row of those cut-stone benches are filled with my people, sitting,
watching silently. Waiting for the show to begin. Almost two thousand, all
told, human and primal and ogrillo, from the Pit and from the private cells. A
few from the Shaft. Of those two thousand, maybe five hundred really feel like
they owe me something, like they owe each other something. Of those five
hundred, there's maybe fifty I can count on, when the shitstorm breaks. Maybe
fifty, if I'm lucky.
Maybe
twenty will actually fight.
The
others just want to get the hell out of here. They want to live. I can't blame
them. I don't blame them.
I
don't need them.
For
fighters, I've got those guys on the sand.
A
hundred and fifty armed friars, at least a quarter of them Esoterics. They
bristle with swords and spears and carry short compound-recurved bows, and who
knows how many wands and magicked crystals and crap like that. Shit, I'd match
them against the Cats, and put three-to-one on the friars.
Cash.
The
guy that Raithe speaks quietly with, down there in the middle—Acting Ambassador
Damon—is twitchy as a street Temp on crank, but Raithe tells me he's solid.
They all are. That's Monastic training for you: homicidal paranoia doesn't
really get in the way. Might even be an advantage.
You
have to be crazy, to fight the Social Police.
Raithe
mounts the steps of the dais slowly, a little unsteadily. He's weak, shaky with
blood loss, but his Control Disciplines keep him moving: biofeedback maintains
his blood pressure, and he can mentally goose his endocrine system to release
hormones that give him strength and suppress the pain. He can walk, talk, even
fight, right up till he passes out again.
He
gets close and nods to me. "They will perform as required," he says
softly. "Damon is a good man. He knows how to follow orders."
I
squint at him. "That's your definition of a good man?"
His
wintry eyes meet mine steadily. "What is yours?"
Instead
of answering, I look down into the five-gallon tureen some- body snagged
from the commissary. It sits on the side table to my right, half full of water,
warm as spit, in which my right hand soaks. I work my hand into a fist and out
again. Ragged flaps of my knuckle skin drift like scraps of jellyfish, trailing
straw-colored billows of blood.
"All
right," I tell him, pulling my hand out. "Take it."
On
the dais at my left side, I have Toa-Sytell, still chained, a huddled ball of
feverish misery. Every once in a while he writhes, or makes a little whimpering
noise; sometimes a tear or two trickles down his cheeks. Raithe makes a
complicated gesture, knotting and unknotting his fingers like a cat's cradle of
flesh and bone, and Toa-Sytell relaxes into unconsciousness.
Raithe
unties the gag and gently frees it from Toa-Sytell's slack mouth; slowly,
almost reverently, he rinses the rag in the blood-tinged water of the tureen,
then wrings it out before retying it between the Patriarch's teeth.
I
wave a hand at the tureen. "Here, take the soup down to your boys there.
It's time for them to get to work."
Expressionlessly,
he picks it up and carries it down to the arena. "Line up," he says.
"By rank. Damon: you are first."
The
Acting Ambassador steps up obediently. Slowly, with a kind of ritualistic
solemnity, he cups some of the water in one hand and brings it to his lips,
then steps aside to let the next friar come. Yeah, he'll take Raithe's orders.
Raithe
will take mine.
Voluntarily.
Faithfully.
That's
our deal: his obedience for my blood. And he is a man of honor. What does that
say about me, if I can trust my enemies more than my friends?
Raithe
sits on the dais below me, pressing a hand against the wound in his side.
"It is done, then," he says, dark and doom-haunted. "It is done.
I am yours."
"Relax,
kid," I tell him. "It's not like you sold me your soul." His
gaze is bleak as tundra. "What is a soul?"
5
Orbek
comes through the arch at the back of the Hall at the head of a gaggle of Folk.
He flicks a tusk back toward the corridor behind and gives me a nod.
"Stay
calm," I say generally. "Let them come."
Folk
flood through the door: a spume of madness whitecapped with the foam that
trickles from their mouths. A lot of them are pretty far gone, so deep in
the dementia that it's jangling their nerves, making them twitch and limp,
stagger and spastically jerk. It's a testimonial to Kierendal's leadership that
they haven't turned on each other; somehow she holds them together, somehow she
directs their HRVP-spawned lunacy outside their group: toward the Imperials.
Toward the humans.
Toward
me.
And
they smell: they carry a stink of bad meat and acid urine, of unwashed armpit
and rotten teeth. It precedes them, an oily wave that flows into the Hall of
Justice and fills it and closes over our heads. We could drown in this stench
like rats in a rain barrel.
They
smell like Dad.
Two
weeks ago, that alone could have beaten me.
Funny
how things change.
I
lean to my right so I can see Kris in the Steward's Seat below, a step above
and to the left of where Raithe sits. "Showtime."
He
makes no answer. Only the irregular hitching of his breath shows he's alive.
"Hey," I mutter. "Come on, Kris. The party's starting." His
eyes roll open, and he offers me a weak smile.
"How're
you doing?"
His
answer has the spooky distance of mindview. "Better. Much better, Hari. Up
here—" A limp gesture takes in the whole world outside the Donjon.
"—I can draw Flow to manage my fever. I am . . . grateful . . . that you
brought me out of there."
"How's
the leg?"
"It
hurts," he admits with a wistful shrug, still smiling. "But only down
in the bone, where it has always hurt. The flesh above ... well—" I get the
picture. It's ugly. "Can you fix it?"
"You
see here—" He lays a hand upon the pus-soaked rag that serves as a bandage
over the gaping abscess on his thigh. "—the result of my healing
skill."
"Hold
your shit together. I need you lucid. None of this can work without you."
"Frankly,
Hari—" He coughs, and turns up his palm in a shrug of apology. "—I
don't see how it can work with me. You haven't even said what you want
me to do—"
"Too
late to argue about it now," I tell him, because here comes Kierendal, cradled
like a bundle of sticks in an ogre's bridge-girder arms. She's naked, wasted,
starved, smeared with filth. Her hair, her signature, that elaborate platinum
coif, has become the straggled, finger-ripped wisps of a cartoon witch; what
remains of it is plastered wet and greasy down the sides of her face. Her eyes
like tarnished coins flick with foggy wariness. She didn't expect to find
me waiting for her, and in her world, there's no such thing as a pleasant
surprise.
Then
I watch her eyes track the leash that stretches from the arm of the Ebony
Throne to the prison collar, and I watch her squint, and blink, and bring a
trembling skeletal hand to her eyes to see if she can wipe away the image of
Toa-Sytell chained to my chair like a dog. Her whole body starts to shake.
That,
right there, is a good sign: some rationality remains. She's sane enough to be
freaked out by how crazy this all is.
At
the ogre's heel comes Majesty, arms bound behind him, prodded along by an
ogrillo bitch whose' neck is bigger around than my thigh. Dried blood flakes
across his chin. His eyes bulge and he mouths silently: Caine. Hot
staggering fuck.
I
acknowledge him with a glance, and squeeze my eyes into half a smile at
Kierendal. "Have a seat, Kier," I say. "Tell your people to make
themselves at home."
She
glazes over like I hit her with a club. "Caine—" she croaks through
the general rumble and mutter. "I don't—how did you—why have—I don't understand!"
"It's
not that complicated," I tell her. "I'm doing some business in
Ankhana right now, and I can't get it done with you trying to slip a knife in
me every time you see my back. We need to reach an understanding."
I can
read her lips. "You know—?" she breathes. "You know I came here
to kill you?"
"You
came to the Donjon to kill me. Here? You came because I invited you.
"I—I
don't—"
"Look,
it's simple," I tell her. "We're all here. We have maybe half an hour
to settle this shit. Before anybody leaves this room, you and I need to be on
the same side." I can't feel the Social Police closing in around the
city—not like Raithe can—but I know they're there, closer every minute. Half an
hour might be optimistic.
"You
you're asking me to join you?"
"Asking,
shit. We need you. We need your people. I'd be on my knees begging, but you
might have heard my legs don't work so well."
"You
think I will accept this? Are you so naive?" Her voice has lost the croak,
taking on instead a weird echoic nondirectional resonance, as though she's
talking from inside my skull. She's recovering her self-possession in a hurry,
and her eyes rake the room disdainfully. "To join you would make me an
accomplice to your crimes."
"Let's
not start about my crimes, huh?"
"Is
that why you have brought me
here?" she resonates acidly. "To protest your innocence?"
"Fuck
my innocence." I'm losing patience with this; maybe I didn't have much to
begin with. "Are you willing to stand and listen to what we're up against?
Yes or no. That's all I need out of you right now. Yes or no or shut up and
fight."
"Don't
think you can bully me, Caine. I know what you are. Murderer. Liar.
Aktir."
I can
feel the blood coming up my neck. "As long as we're calling names, why
don't you try traitor on for size, you fucking slag?"
This
generates a warning rumble from the Folk she brought with her. "What are
you talking about?"
"Treason,"
I say. "Your treason."
The
rumble gets louder, but that weird voice of hers overrides it effortlessly.
"Is treason really the word you want to use, Caine? When you have the
Steward of the Empire chained like a dog?"
I shrug.
"He's not my king. On the other hand—" I nod toward Kris in
the Steward's Seat, who goggles back at me in open horror, mouthing Hari,
don't! "—Deliann, here, is yours."
"You
must be joking."
"Yeah,
that's me: a laugh a minute. We could all use a chuckle. Go ahead and tell
everybody how you tried to murder the Mithondionne."
That
warning rumble from the Folk thickens, but it's met by a colder, darker growl
from our guys, Folk and human alike: Kris is a popular guy. Kierendal's
nonvoice overrides the swell of anger. "He is no king. He's a vile,
murdering Aktir—as are you!"
"Yeah.
So what? He's also the Youngest of the Twilight King, and you fucking know it.
You knew it then. You knew he was the last Mithondionne, and you ordered him
killed."
"He's
not even primal," she snarls. "He's a human in disguise!"
"You've
got it backwards," I tell her. "The human is the disguise."
Deliann
crumples on the Steward's Seat as though something is eating his guts from the
inside out and covers his face with his hands. "Hari," he murmurs,
lost and empty and for my ears alone. "Hari, how can you do this to
me?"
"It's
midnight, Kris," I tell him simply. "That's all."
He
lifts his head and shows me the question in his eyes.
I
explain, "Take off your mask."
His
eyes go wide and fill with sick pain. "They will never accept me."
"Who gives a rat's ass what they accept? You know what you are. Fucking
act like it."
His
gaze retreats inside his head, and I lift my eyes to meet Kierendal's
disdainful stare. "I know you're not yourself these days, Kier. I know
you've been sick, and it's hard for you to get shit straight in your head. This
is your chance to make good. If you're willing to help, we can use you."
Her
eyes shimmer like fish scales. "And what's in it for me?"
I
shrug. "Your life."
"Is
that all you have to offer?" she says with scalding contempt.
Raithe
casts a surreptitious glance toward me from the arena floor. I give it back
expressionlessly, then return to Kierendal. "I don't know what the penalty
for attempted regicide is supposed to be among your people, but you're not
among your people now. This is my court. You have a choice to make, Kier. Right
now."
"My
people are ready to die for me, Caine. How many of these .. . creatures . . .
are ready to die for you?"
And
that, I guess, pretty much says it all.
"There's
one way to find out," I say evenly.
Her
hands coil. "I do not bluff, Caine"
"Yeah,
I've heard that about you." Then simply, coldly, finally, all I have to
say is: "Raithe."
He
claps his hands together as though he dusts sand from them in her direction. A
spray of black droplets falls before him. Kierendal tries to speak, but her
voice becomes a thick gargling roil of bodily sounds. She gapes at me for half
of one blankly astonished second; then a rusty hinge-squeal hacking comes from
her throat. Her sides heave, and she vomits blood down the legs of the ogre who
holds her.
"You
bazztidz!" the ogre cries as though its heart is breaking. "You
bazztidz—whaddid you do to Kier?" It falls to its knees and cradles
Kierendal like an infant to its breast.
Throughout
the hall, my guys are on their feet. Below me, Raithe issues soft-voiced
instructions to the friars; they spread out, closer to the cover of the arena
wall, checking their weapons. He mutters at me over his shoulder, "Have
you ever done anything that did not end in violent death?"
"Sure,
lots of stuff," I tell him. "I just can't think of any right
now."
This
is gonna be one fucking ugly brawl. And maybe I knew it was gonna come to this.
Maybe I was looking forward to it.,
Maybe
I am what they say I am.
But a
new light grows within the Hall of Justice, paler, steadier than the lamp
flames and the scarlet flicker of the fires outside: a softly penetrant
moonglow that does not admit of shadow. It gathers strength, intensifies, and
the hall falls quiet as it touches each and all among us here, and every eye
turns to find its source.
It's
coming from Deliann.
He
rises from the Steward's Seat, slow with infirmity. In the throbbing quiet, his
voice is soft enough to break my heart. "No. No fighting. Not among us. No
killing. I can't stand it."
He
sounds like he's standing at my shoulder. I have a feeling he sounds like he's
standing at everybody's shoulder. The light gathers itself into a shining cloud
around him and wreathes his brow with cold coronal flame. Then that light from
his face flares out and grabs us all by the brain.
For
one infinite second that light drowns me with everything everyone else is
feeling: pain and fear and bloodlust and anguish and fierce fighting joy and
everything else, and the light makes them feel what I'm feeling, and all of us
feel the lives of each of us and together we make a world of pain that he
somehow draws out and ties together into a giant ball of misery, and he hugs it
and holds it and that doesn't make it okay—it's not like that, nothing could
ever make all this okay—but somehow it's not so bad, now, because it's spread
out a little, shared a little, and no matter how alone we all are he knows
exactly, exactly, what we're going through, how scared and hurt we all
are, and he kind of says
All
right, you're scared and hurt. It's okay to be scared, and it's okay to be
hurt, because your life is a scary, painful place.
Deliann
says softly, "Rugo."
The
ogre lifts his head.
"She
need not die," Deliann says. "But there is only one hope of life for
her. She must be restrained from any interference in the battle to come. She
must be taken into the Donjon, and placed in a cell, and kept there until what
is to come has passed over us all. Will you do that?"
Rugo
turns his face away. "I do thizz, she lives? You promizz?" "I
have said so."
Rugo's
neck bends, and tears streak the globular surface of his eyes. "I
guezz—she can't hate me more than zzhe doezz already."
Deliann
searches the hall like he's expecting to see someone he can't find; after a
second or two, he nods to himself. "Parkk," he says to a
rugged-looking stonebender up in back, not far from where Majesty stands.
"Save her. Stay with her in the Donjon, and tend her when she wakes."
The
stonebender holds his place sullenly for a long moment like he's expecting a
trick; then he shrugs and nods and makes his way to Kierendal's side.
Stonebender magick should work even in the Donjon.
Deliann
lowers his head like he can feel my disapproval against the back of his neck.
"Is it so wrong," he says softly, "that I would not have my
first act as king be the execution of a friend?"
"Did
I say anything?"
"No,"
Deliann replied. "But you were thinking very loudly. What do you want me
to do, now?"
All
her people are still standing, staring, waiting. I can still use their help, if
Deliann can get it for me. "You could start," I offer, "by
telling everybody what the hell is going on."
"Tell—?"
he murmurs faintly. "How can I possibly tell? It's so huge—there's too
much. How can I know what's important, and what's just detail?"
"You
don't have to know," I say. "Just decide."
His
feathery brows pull together.
"I—"
Pain twists his face, and it's not physical pain. "I think I see—"
"Go on, Kris. You've got the floor, man. Use it."
Suffering
shines from him like the eldritch light from his face. He lowers his head,
closing his eyes against his own light, and begins to speak.
6
He
stood in the center of the arena. Fireglow that leaked down from the clerestory
of the vaulted ceiling shaded his penetrant shine toward a pale peach. Though
his voice had never been strong, and now was weaker still with his infirmity,
all could hear—his meaning, if not his words.
All
within that room were touched by his Meld.
The
spider-tangle of black threads he could see flowing into Caine knotted together
in a flare of white fire within Caine's chest—white fire that Deliann could
touch, white fire from which Deliann had drawn the power to tune his Meld in a
wholly new way. His shine resonated with the Shells of primals, gaining
strength and the colors of life; it flowed into the Shells of stonebenders, and
out again to blend into ogres and trolls; the shimmer of ogre brought it to
frequencies that might touch the ogrilloi, and the ogrilloi shaded it enough to
slide within the consciousness of Flowblind humanity.
He
neither orated nor exhorted, but merely spoke. "This is the truth,"
he said, and through the Meld all knew it. He held on to what he knew was true,
and let the story tell itself.
"Some
of you," he said, "believe you are here because you were imprisoned
for the crime of thinking for yourself; you are mistaken. Some of you believe
you are here because you were falsely accused of treason; you, too, are
mistaken. Some of you believe you are victims of political oppression, or
official misconduct, or simple bad luck. Some of you think you came to revenge
yourselves on your enemies, or to stand by your friends.
"You
are all mistaken.
"What
brings all of us here is not Cainism, or human prejudice; it is not greed, or
lust for power, or blind chance.
"What
brings all of us here is a war.
"This
is a war that is fought every day in every land; this is a war that began with
the birth of life itself. This is a war the best of us fight in our hearts: a
war against to get along; you go along. A war against us and them. A
war against the herd, against the cause. Against the weight of
civilization itself.
"This
war cannot be won.
"Should
not be won.
"But
it must be fought.
"Here
is the truth: We are offered a gift.
"That
we are here this night is the gift of T'nnalldion—what in the human tongue is Home,
or the World. This is the great gift of Home: that once in an age,
she brings forth this secret, silent war into the full light of day. This gift
is the opportunity to stand as her shield; to see plain our enemy; to strike a
blow face-to-face and hand-to-hand.
"She
held out this gift to my grandfather Panchasell, more than a thousand years
ago. In accepting, he named himself Luckless, for he knew the doom he chose.
"This
was the first engagement in our theater of this war: when Panchasell
Mithondionne closed the dillin that joined us to the Quiet Land. He
fought the war in secret for two hundred years; when Home brought the war into
the open day, Panchasell the Luckless and House Mithondionne took arms and led
the Folk Alliance against the Feral Rebellion.
"Almost
nine hundred years ago, barely a bowshot from where we now stand, Panchasell
the Luckless fell in battle.
"On
the day my grandfather was killed, Home held out this gift to my father,
T'farrell Ravenlock. My father refused, and named himself the Twilight King; he
wished the bright day of the First Folk to draw slowly to a close, instead of
suffering the sudden nightfall of extinction.
"He
led our people away from the daylit war, ceding the open lands of Home to the
enemy, and retired to the deepwood to preside over our long slow slide into
history. This has come more swiftly than his darkest dream: We few, here today,
may be the last of the Folk to stand together against our enemy.
"More
than four hundred years were to pass before Home offered her gift again. This
time it was to the race of the enemy, many of whom had come to love her as
deeply as any of the Folk; this time the gift was offered to a human named
Jereth of Tyrnall.
"Jereth
Godslaughterer fought the enemy in each of its shadow-forms: as Rudukirisch and
Dal'kannith, Prorithun and Kallaie, and in all the other names that humans give
to the shared dreams that pool their collective desires. Like my grandfather,
Jereth fell in battle—but it was a battle won: from it came the Covenant of
Pirichanthe, which binds the human gods beyond the walls of time, and defends
Home from their irrational whims of power.
"Now,
five hundred years have come and gone since the days of the Godslaughterer, and
Home once more offers her gift.
"Our
enemy has struck already. He struck without challenge, as a poisoner strikes,
against whom no armor may suffice. His blow has slain House Mithondionne, of
whom I alone survive. Each of us in this room bears wounds from his hand. His
weapon is madness, the same madness that some of us—here, tonight—feel coursing
our veins. But against such an invisible sword, we now have a silent shield.
T'Passe?"
T'Passe,
pragmatic as a shovel, tromped down the aisle to the arena; Deliann gestured to
Raithe, and Raithe put the tureen into her hands. T'Passe shrugged, and ducked
her head toward the contents of the bowl. "A little drink, that's
all," she said heavily. "Even a sip." She handed the bowl to a
human, one of the Cainists who sat on the floor in the aisle. Though already
carrying the countervirus as did all the former inmates of the Pit, she dipped
her hand, and brought it cupped to her lips; like all Monastics, she had a
profound respect for the power of ritual.
The
Cainist who held the bowl scowled down into the straw-colored liquid within.
"What is it?"
She
looked at Deliann, who gravely inclined his head.
"Water,"
she said. "Water, with a little blood in it."
Again,
she looked at Deliann; his expression never altered, nor did the angle of his
nod. She shrugged.
"It's
Caine's blood."
A
general murmur stirred the room.
Deliann
said, "Choose."
The
Cainist still scowled, but he dipped his hand and drank, and held the bowl so
that those beside him could do the same, before he passed it on to a nearby
woman.
"In
accepting the gift of Home, you bind yourself to fight in our war,"
Deliann said. "I know that many are without weapons, and more are without
armor. Many—perhaps most—of you do not call yourselves warriors.
"But
as Caine has said: There is fighting, and there is fighting.
"By
this he means: It is not demanded of each of you that you take up a sword and
slay. That is the task for warriors. Some may bind wounds, and comfort the
injured. That is the task for healers. Some may cook food and carry water. Some
may leave here this night, and never look behind.
"Let
each of us fight in our own way, according to our own gifts. A cook who
pretends to be a warrior endangers his comrades; a warrior who pretends to be a
cook ruins food we need for the strength to fight on.
"Only
this do I ask of you: I, not Home. Those of you who leave this place tonight,
do not surrender to our enemy. Know that the shield of Home defends you, and
can defend all whom you love. This shield does not move of its own. It does not
grow unaided. It can truly defend only when passed from heart to heart, and
flesh to flesh. To bring anyone or anything within the shield of Home requires
only a kiss. Your choice can save more than you dream. It is the most important
choice you will ever make.
"Some
here do not have that choice."
A
vague wave of his hand might have indicated the Patriarch, bound and leashed to
the Ebony Throne, or the friars who stood on the arena sand, or both.
"But
we do.
"We
can choose to stand against the blind god.
"We
can choose to stand for Home.
"We
can—"
He
broke off, and for a moment lowered his head; when he looked up once more, he
wore a small, melancholy smile, full of resigned self-knowledge.
"I
should say, you can choose.
"My
choice is made already. I have made the choice of Panchasell. The choice of the
Godslaughterer.
"The
choice of Caine.
"I
am Deliann, the Mithondionne. Here I will stand. Here I will fall. "I am
Deliann, the Mithondionne. I set my name to this."
He fell
silent, and his light faded, and with it the Meld; after a moment he lowered
his head.
7
They're
all filing out, the Cainists and the Serpents and the Folk. After a minute,
some clever guy gets a bright idea, and brings the tureen up to the arch where
everybody can take a sip as they go out. Pretty soon somebody's at each of the
other exits with a helmet upside down in their hands, holding a few cups
scooped from the tureen, and the hall clears out faster. Most of them are
heading for the Pit, where they'll go back the way they came: down the Shaft
sump and out, to scatter across the Empire, and beyond. Stonebenders to the
White Desert and the northern God's Teeth, ogrilloi to the Boedecken,
treetoppers south to the jungles of lower Kor.
Primals
to the deepwood, and whatever's left of Mithondion.
And
that's it, then. Here, in this eerie muttering quiet, I'm looking at Shanna's
victory. She and I and Deliann—and Raithe, too, can't leave that fucker out of
it—we just beat HRVP.
Sure,
the disease has a big lead, but it's slow, and random. The countervirus is
fast, and will be purposeful: with a few hundred people fanning out of here,
spreading Shanna's countervirus every time they sneeze, or piss in a river, or
share a cup of wine, we'll overtake it.
Score
one for the good guys.
Which
is all the enthusiasm I can muster; it's kinda anticlimactic. I guess it's
because HRVP was just for openers—just a light jab to probe our defenses, and
it too fucking nearly punched our lights out. Like Tan'elKoth used to say: You
can win every battle and still lose the war.
On
the other hand, Kris' story was a good one; sometimes making a good story is
winning, too. Spartacus. The knights of the Round Table. The Alamo. That's
victory, of a sort.
Shit,
I hope so. It's the only kind we're gonna get.
A
couple of feys who used to do healing for the rough-trade girls at Alien Games
work on my legs a little, scraping out the jelly of dead muscle and infected
pus, and run some Flow in there to pump strength into the muscle.
About
the time they finish up, Majesty threads his way down to the arena. Somebody
cut him loose after that ogrillo bitch went off with the ogre and the dwarf to
look after Kierendal. He rubs the rope burn on his wrists, and he's covered in
filth, but he looks pretty cheerful: his smile cracks the dried blood on his
chin, and it flakes away as he scrubs at it with the back of his hand.
"Damn,
Caine," he says as he vaults into the arena. "Fuck a goat if you
don't always find a way to come out on top." He bounces across the sand
and climbs the dais, right up next to Toa-Sytell, and grins down at him.
"Hey there, you shit-crazy cock," he says, and draws back his foot
for a kick.
"Don't."
He
looks at me and finds no room for argument in my eyes. He shrugs. "You're
the boss, I guess," he says.
"Yeah."
The
feys give him hard looks as they pack their shit and go. He ignores them.
"What now, buddy? What's our next move?"
"My
next move," I tell him heavily, "is to send those friars down there
out to fight some troops that are coming after me. Troops from my world."
"Your
world?" Majesty breathes. "Fuck me—it's true, then. It's true.
It's always been true. You are an Aktir."
"Yeah."
"Fuck
me," he repeats, but then he spreads his hands and smiles at me.
"Hey, Aktir or not, you always knew who your friends were,
right?"
"Your
next move—" I nod toward the
back of the hall. Toward the door. "—is to follow those guys up there.
Clear your ass out of town."
"Huh?"
Wariness sparks deep within his eyes. "I don't get you."
"You're
not popular with the Folk, Majesty. I'd lay odds the only reason you're still
alive is that most of them aren't quite sure who you are."
"Hey,
c'mon, Caine. Aren't you the stag, here? You're saying you can't protect
me?"
"No,"
I tell him. "I'm saying I won't"
His
smile cracks like the blood on his chin. "Hey—hey, Caine,
c'mon—"
"You're
why Kierendal had to be locked up. You killed half her people. The only family
she had. You and Toa-Sytell. Your fucking Caverns War."
"But,
but, hey, I didn't have anything against her," he says, licking his lips.
"Shit, Caine. This whole Caverns War—that was Toa-Sytell's thing. It was
politics, that's all. Business. It wasn't personal—"
"It
was for her." I nod toward the door one more time. "You better go
now, while I still remember how much I used to like you."
He
leans toward me confidentially. I can see sweat leaking out of his skin.
"Come on, Caine. This is me. Even in the Donjon, didn't I help you
out? Huh? Didn't I?" He reaches for my arm as though his touch will remind
me of our friendship.
I
brush Kosall's hilt with my fingers. Its blade buzzes a rattlesnake's warning
against the arm of the throne. Majesty's hand freezes, and he takes a cautious
step back down the dais stairs. "Yes," I say. "You did. That's
what buys you the chance to walk out."
"But,
but, hey, I mean, where am I supposed to go?" he says plaintively. If I
didn't know him so well, I could almost feel sorry for him. Majesty's a weed;
he'll. flourish wherever he falls. "Where can I go? What am I supposed to do?"
"I
don't care," I tell him, "so long as you don't do it here. Go."
He backs away one more step. "Caine—"
I
point Kosall at him. The blade snarls. "Five seconds, Majesty."
He
turns and scampers down the dais, across the sand. He forces his way into
the outgoing stream of humans and Folk and exits the Hall of Justice without
looking back. I watch him go, remembering all the good times we've had
together, but they don't mean much to me right now. There was a time I
considered him my best friend.
And I
can't remember why.
Down
on the sand, Raithe gives his instructions—my instructions—to the friars,
detailing them in squads to intercept and harass the approaching Social Police:
just my way of saying hello. Pretty soon the friars go, and t'Passe heads off to
coordinate the Folk and Serpents and Cainists who want to stay here and fight;
Orbek takes Toa-Sytell's leash and drags him off to keep his Patriarchal ass
out of mischief, and in all the whole Hall of Justice it's now just Raithe, and
Deliann, and me.
From
the arena below, Raithe stares after Orbek and Toa-Sytell with those
deep-winter eyes. He's wrapped pretty tight; he sizzles with the effort he's
expending to hold himself still and silent. "What are you going to do with
the Patriarch?"
"Nothing
you need to know yet," I tell him. "Kris—?"
He
stands in the center of the arena, lost in some infinite distance.
"Kris—?" I say again, then more sharply, "Deliann."
Slowly,
his gaze gathers focus and finds me. "Yes, Caine?"
"Let's
do this thing."
"Here?"
I nod
up toward the titanic figure of Ma'elKoth carved into the wedge of limestone
towering over us. "You got a better place?
He
thinks about it, his face alien, unreadable. Then his eyes close and
open again in a motion too slow and deliberate to be called a blink, and he
says, "No. I suppose I don't."
"What
do you need from me?"
"I'll
explain as we go along," he says, mounting the dais to stand at my side.
"Find mindview."
I
breathe myself into it; it only takes a second or two, and then twisting corded
nets of black ropes web the Hall of Justice like it's the lair of spiders the
size of horses. "I can see it," I tell him, and I can. Even though
I'm talking, I can hold the image.
"I
know."
"It's
easier now. Easier than it was even when I used to practice this. Back in
school."
He
offers me a smile of sad understanding. "Among the First Folk, we are
taught that the path of power is measured by self-knowledge. To use magick, one
must know oneself, and the world, and the identity they share."
I am
at the center of that black and tangled web. It pulses into the base of my
spine; strength and feeling swells in the muscles of my back and legs.
Deliann
turns to Raithe. "Kneel here, facing him," he says, indicating a spot
an arm's length in front of my knees.
Raithe
looks at me.
"Do
as he says," I tell him, and he does.
A
different kind of glow surrounds Deliann now, a bluish Saint Elmo's fire kind
of thing. That aura grows a limb—a pseudopod, an arm—and grabs on to something
white in the middle of my guts. Lightning snaps back up that insubstantial blue
and sparks it to a searing arc-welder blaze. It'd be painful, if I were seeing
it with my eyes.
He
reaches for Raithe, and Raithe gasps as the colors blossom around him.
"This
will be a form of Meld," Deliann says. "It's a little like a Fantasy,
except we will all be creating it together as we go along. Don't be alarmed at
what you might see; none of us might look like we do now, but we'll know each
other anyway. It's a ... metaphoric level of consciousness, like a dream."
"And
we can't lie," I murmur.
Deliann
nods. "This is a state of consciousness where deception is impossible.
Concealment, though, isn't difficult. It is simply a refusal to share. It is
the same as you should do if any of these Powers tries to join with you, or
enter your body. They cannot do so without your cooperation—but they can be
very persuasive."
"Yeah."
"What
Powers?" Raithe says, staring raptly at whatever Deliann's touch upon his
mind is showing him. "You still haven't told me what we are doing."
I
bare my teeth. "We're gonna have a little chat with Ma'elKoth."
8
A
soft, hearth-warm glow appeared, neither close nor distant, in no particular
direction: near, far, before, behind, above, or below
None
have meaning in the infinite lack.
As
patiently irresistible as gravity, the light drew her forward, or upward: in
whatever direction from her that it lay. Without volition to resist its pull,
she drifted toward it.
She
came to understand that this light was the sun, and not the sun. It was a star,
burning in the heavens of the lack, giving light and life and reason to the
boundless nothing of her death—but it was also a man, with elven features
and a mane of platinum hair that twisted outward in streamers of fire along the
solar wind. The sun man held a bow of fusing hydrogen, and carried arrows of
light.
Will
gathered within her, strengthening with her approach as though she drew it from
this man's light; she exerted this will to slow herself, gaining in caution as
her awareness congealed. Somehow she knew: This was enemy territory.
She
said to the sun: I know you. You are Kris Hansen.
The
sun replied: I am Deliann.
Far,
far above her—for now, imperceptibly, up and down had come to the lack—circled a
bird of prey, soaring upon gleaming wings, proud and lonely. A falcon—perhaps
an eagle
Perhaps
the phoenix.
It
struggled toward the sun, drawn forever by light and warmth—only to fall
forever back, crippled by a wound to its wing. Its cry echoed in her heart, for
it was she who had given that wound. She could feel the wound herself—her arm
burned as though she held it in a furnace—yet she knew it was his.
Within
herself, she said, You are the Caineslayer.
The
bird replied, l am Raithe.
Now
on fields that rolled forever beneath that sun she found others: a great dire
wolf with dewclaws cut, limping in pain but still fierce and deadly; a woman of
volcanic basalt thrust freshly up from the earth, sharp edges not yet rounded
by millennial erosion. She found trees and flowers and cats and mice, snakes
and toads and fish
And
she found a man. He sat on a rock, elbows on knees, staring at her.
She
knew every inch of him.
The
glossy black hair, sprung grey at the temple above the salted black of his
beard: her fingers knew that texture. His darkly gleaming eye, the slanted scar
across his twice-broken nose—she had felt these with her lips. Those hard and
lethal hands had cupped her breasts and stroked warmth along her thighs.
He
wore a loose black leather tunic open in front, faded and cracked, white salt
rings of ancient sweat circling the armpits. His soft black breeches were
covered with cuts and tears crudely sewn. Coarse brown thread showed like old
bloodstains against the leather.
Her
heart sang, and she flew to him.
Slowly,
deliberately, his right hand went inside his tunic, and when it came out again
it held a long, keen fighting knife.
"That's
close enough," he said.
She
stopped, puzzled, hurt sparking somewhere behind what on a mortal body would
have been her ribs. Hari
"Hari's
dead." He pointed the knife at her eye. "So are you. Let's skip the
happy-to-see-you bullshit, huh?"
Hari,
I don't understand—why won't you let me touch you?
He
flicked the point of the knife toward the circling bird of prey. "Because
I have too fucking good an idea what can happen if you do." I only want
to share with you. To join with you.
"No."
We
can be one, here. We can truly share. We can love each other—"Not like that."
All
I want is to be together
"Tough
shit."
You
treat me like an enemy.
His
eyes glittered black and hard: chips of obsidian. "Yeah."
Hari—Caine—
Her mental voice roughened, and
deepened; she tried to cough it clear, but instead it swelled within her chest
to Ma'elKoth's subterranean rumble. Caine, I love you. We love you.
"Hold
out your hand."
She
hesitated.
"Come
on," he said. "We're a little past playing shy, huh? Your hand."
All right.
She
reached out a hand that had the shape of her own, but the size of
Ma'elKoth's—and had Kollberg's oiled-parchment skin and arthritis-knobbed
joints. He shook his head and pointed to her left—her wounded, burning,
all-too-human hand.
"That
one."
She
drew back.
"Don't
you trust me?" His wolf-grin said he didn't really care about her answer.
She
found, astonished, that she didn't—and at first she couldn't say why.
She
didn't trust him; she couldn't trust him. She had been deceived by him
before, hurt by him, destroyed by him. He had lied and lied and lied to her,
and his lies had savaged her life; he was the source of all her unbearable
suffering these long seven years. He had threatened her, and mocked their
lawful caste relationship. He had struck her: he had broken her nose,
had kicked her in the balls
In
the balls? she thought. Hey,
wait.
Before
the other two of the three she was could stop her, she put out her hand. Faster
than their eyes could follow, his knife flashed underhand and drove up
between the bones to jut through her palm: a conjured apparition of steel,
welling black blood from its base.
The
searing ice-steel spike turned to white-hot iron as he twisted it to wedge the
blade against the bone; then he used the blade to wrench their hand over
sideways and pull them off balance. They gasped in shock that was yet too fresh
to be pain, and gaped in astonishment at the blood of black oil that rolled
down the blade and dripped from the point.
Where
the black oil touched, the grass beneath their feet curled and blackened and
began to smoke.
What
are you DOING?
His
wolf-grin answered. "Holding you steady."
In
the far black distance above, the sun drew an arrow of light back to his heart,
and let it fly.
The
arrow's meteor-streak drove through the injured wing of the phoenix and struck
her on the hand, where Caine's knife had pierced her. It flashed into her and
through her, through the god at her back and the god behind him, joining all of
them with the phoenix along a dazzling line of blue-white Cerenkov radiation.
Power
pulsed up the line toward the phoenix, and it gave a heartbreaking cry. From
its injured wing, black blood sprayed like rain over all the world.
"This
is a metaphor, you understand," Caine said. "I imagine if you
concentrate, you can feel what's really happening."
She
felt
From
the spring near the crest of Khryl's Saddle, a trickle of black oil joined the
sewage runoff of the rail camp. In the great forest of the north, needles of
spruce and aspen withered and blackened, and the amber that swelled from gaps
in bark was black as onyx. In the Boedecken Waste, oil bubbled up out of the
buried depths of the marshes and spread necrotic swathes through the living
green.
Her
horror spread to the others who shared her consciousness. Stop it—you have
to stop it!
"No,"
Caine said. "I don't."
Hari—Caine,
please! Stop it now!
"No."
She could
feel the life draining from her already, deadness climbing her fingers like
leprosy. Caine you'll kill me
His
wolf-grin widened, and lost any trace of humor. "You're already dead.
We're killing the river."
You
can't! You can't do this!
"No?"
He barked a harsh laugh. "Who are you talking to?"
Everyone—everything—will
die! All of it—every living creature
"That's
right. Then what good does your fucking link do you? You'll have nothing. Shit,
you'll have less than you started with. Think about it, Ma'elKoth: How many
Beloved Children are gonna survive this? What happens to your precious godhood
when all your worshipers are dead?"
And
that was when Pallas Ril understood. Imaginary tears poured from her imaginary
eyes. Her eyes said Thank you, but only her eyes.
His
wolf-grin thawed a little. "I told you to trust me."
Other
words held her lips. This is a bluff
"Sure
it is."
You
kill yourself along with the river; this poison will slay you as surely as any
salmon or hawk.
Caine's
smile warmed even more. "Ever play Chicken?"
Outrage
gathered within her, but the outrage was not hers. The voice from her lips
said, This is no game. Not when the stakes are the lives of all within the
Chambaygen's bound.
His
smile went hot. "I wouldn't have come to the party if I didn't want to
dance."
It
seemed then that a long time passed, in which the only sound was the distant,
thin sobs of a young girl. We still have Faith.
"Yeah?"
His tone was square and warm, but ice in his eyes froze his smile into a mask.
"And what can you do to her that's worse than what you're doing right
now?"
You
are beyond ruthless. You are beyond criminal. You are a monster
Caine's
presence solidified beyond his mask of ice: he became dark and gleaming,
diorite in motion, absolute, unanswerable. "You should have thought of
that before you hurt my daughter."
Stop
this. You must stop this!
"Make
me," he said, and vanished.
With
him went the phoenix, and the sun, and the meadow, the world and all the stars.
She
did not fall into the lack. The channel of venom pouring into the river was
enough of a living connection to sustain her consciousness. She was herself the
universe: vast and minute together, and empty of all save pain and creeping
death.
And
hope.
9
The
Social Police officer at the door to the surgery had stood so still for so long
that when he finally moved, Avery Shanks flinched; a tingling shock from the
middle of her back shot painfully out into her fingers and toes. She clenched
her stinging fingers into fragile, futile fists and hunched her shoulders
around the hammering of her heart. All this from the smallest gesture: the
officer did no more than step to one side and open the door.
Through
the door came Tan'elKoth, with two more officers behind.
Something—some
subtle difference in his face, his bearing, something bleak and impersonal
brought a sick darkness to her chest. Her mouth tasted of tin.
"Tan'elKoth," she said, still uncertain enough to hope that she was
wrong. "Is it over? Is it finally over?"
He
loomed over her like a granite cliff. "Gather your belongings. We leave
within the hour."
"Leave?"
she repeated stupidly. She made her aching joints move enough to let her sit
up. "Tan'elKoth—?"
"Ma'elKoth,"
he corrected dispassionately.
Avery
trembled. "I don't understand—"
He
had already turned away. He stood beside the table to which Faith was bound,
undoing her straps. A pair of Social Police officers pulled Faith's W and
catheter-line relief bags from their hooks on the table and hung them on an odd
device nearby. This device looked rather like a levichair, but instead of
magnetic suspensors, it rode on wheels: two large spoked wheels in back
and a pair of smaller ones in front. Tan'elKoth lifted Faith from the table and
began to strap her into the wheeled chair.
And
that was the subtle change: she saw it now. He no longer seemed aware of the
Social Police, nor they of him, but both worked with common purpose in
mechanical coordination, requiring neither word nor gesture.
"What
are you doing? Tan'elKoth—Ma'elKoth—she's too weak! You can't
move her, she'll die!"
He
reached her side in a single step, gathered her shirt into one hand, and lifted
her to her feet, neither roughly nor gently—more with a kind of impersonal
dispassion, as though she were so alien that he could not conceive what might
cause her either pleasure or pain. "You will not let her die," he
said. "You will provide whatever care she requires."
"I—I
..." Tears gathered in her eyes, and she could not speak.
She
was stretched too thin; she had lived in this tiny room before the silvered
masks of the Social Police for too long; she had charred her heart with too
many acid hours helplessly witnessing Faith's endless nightmare.
She
longed for the bottle of Teravil that was still in her bag; chemical comfort
was the only kind of which she could still dream. But she hated herself enough
already. If she were to give herself rest while Faith stayed there, stayed
strapped to that steel table, stayed in the twilight fever dream of the drugs
that dripped into her arm, she could never live with herself.
Would
never live with herself.
She
had already decided that when she could no longer resist the pull of the
sedatives, she would use them all. When she could find any way out from under
the inhuman silver gaze of the Social Police, she would share them with Faith.
Because
she could never leave her here alone.
She
said, finally, softly, "Yes. Whatever she requires."
Behind
him, the Social Police strapped a gleaming metallic harness over Faith's chest.
"But
but, where are we going?"
"Home,"
he said, and turned away once more to adjust the harness. "Home?" she
repeated, horrified. "Overworld? What has happened to you? Why are
you acting like this? You can't just move her like furniture she won't live a
day!"
"A
day," Ma'elKoth said distantly, "will be enough."
The
war of the dark angel and the god of dust and ashes came to turn upon a
question of battle.
Of
the outcome, there could be little doubt.
The soldiers
of the god of dust and ashes had weapons of unimaginable power. They were the
best trained, most disciplined fighters this world had ever seen. Their
officers were competent, and their morale was unbreakable.
The
allies of the dark angel were starving and sick, wounded, disorganized, and
distrustful of each other.
Yet
there is fighting, and there is fighting: some weapons are more useful than
others, and not all battles must be won.
TWENTY-THREE
The
first ambush was, in broad outline, representative of all the encounters
between the friars of the Ankhanan Embassy and the Social Police. It came as
the last boats of the Bauer Company of the 82nd Force Suppression Unit cleared
Fools' Bridge.
The
boats had proceeded without haste but steadily, threading their way through the
dead and burning trees that studded the river; a man in the lead boat of each
lashed-together triad held a large canister of pressurized foam that could be
sprayed liberally onto any burning oil that came too close. The rest crouched
watchfully, weapons at the ready.
The
friars who lay in ambush had no time to make a concerted plan, but what they
lacked in coordination they made up for in firepower. The men in the lead boats
had no chance.
As
the first triad of lashed-together boats hummed silently toward Knights'
Bridge, close along the sheer Old Town wall, a shimmering blue-white plane of
energy flared out from the dockside. This plane of energy fanned horizontally
for barely a second, but in that time it sliced neatly through the heads and
shoulders of several of the dozen riflemen in the first boat, and sheared
exactly in half, just below the navel, the mage who guided the boat. His torso
slid backward and toppled into the river, and the power he had been channeling
through his staff exploded into a jagged ball of lightning that conducted well
enough through wire-inlaid armor to roast several more riflemen.
Instantly
the other three triads turned for the dockside, but the two remaining boats
from the first triad drifted powerlessly while riflemen within them frantically
pulled collapsible oars out from storage pockets. Before they could use them
effectively, ionizing radiation made a laser-straight blue line from the arch
of Knights' Bridge to the surface of the river.
Spreading
in a fan upstream from where that line touched, the water instantly
congealed to frosted glasslike solid that looked like ice, but was warm to the
hand. The boats stuck fast within it, and now nut-sized pellets streaked toward
them from several directions. These pellets stuck to what they struck, and an
instant later they erupted in gouts of flame intense enough to melt the plastic
components of the rifles, set fire to the ballistic cloth that covered the
riflemen's armor, and ignite the flesh beneath it.
However,
the thin line of radiation also marked its point of origin and gave the
riflemen their first target.
Their
reply was a stackfire volley from a double handful of Heckler-Colt MPAR 12
assault rifles. These rifles were a century and a half out of date, requiring
manual sighting and carrying only sixteen stackfire cartridges in each of their
dual magazines, but since a stackfire cartridge comprised a tube of eight 5.52
millimeter solid-block caseless rounds that fire sequentially in slightly more
than a tenth of one second, a single volley proved adequate.
The
friar who stood on Knights' Bridge, whose staff flamed with the power that had
gelled the river, was exposed over the low retaining wall from his groin to the
crown of his head. The exposed parts of him vanished into a spray of bloody
mist and bone fragments, and his legs fell in opposite directions. The
detonation of his staff bit a buckboard-sized chunk out of the stone arch; the
river below melted into ordinary water and flowed once more.
Before
the lead boat of the second trio could reach the bank, it was seized as though
by a giant invisible hand and yanked into the air. The adept and most of the
riflemen bailed out, but a few unfortunate soldiers had gotten their gear
tangled in the boats' nylon-net storage pockets, or had foolishly chosen to
hang on, and were hurled hundreds of yards up into the night sky.
As
the boats fell, still lashed together, the rope that joined them caught on a
bartizan of the Old Town wall; they swung down and slammed against the wall
like clappers of a giant stone bell, crushing the men inside. Other men fell
from the sky to their deaths on the streets; some landed on rooftops or in the
branches of burning trees.
The
Telekinesis that had seized the boat was invisible to ordinary eyes, but to an
adept in mindview it blazed with furious light as did the stream of Flow that
poured through the hand sculpted of diamond that a friar, hidden around the
corner of a warehouse, used to create it. The three surviving Artan adepts communicated
his location, and a scant second later that location was the intersection of
three expanding spheres, each comprising several thousand
sewing-needle-sized flechettes, produced by three RG 2253A antipersonnel rifle
grenades in simultaneous airbursts at an altitude of precisely 3.5 meters.
What
remained of the friar was not recognizable as human.
The
other two triads had reached the docks, and seventy riflemen fanned out among
the burning trees that were the last of the unnatural jungle that still stood,
here at the epicenter from which the fire had spread. Those riflemen who had
bailed into the river were left to swim as best they could; they made inviting
targets for the ambushers, and now each time magick flared the man who used it
could be located and killed.
Bauer
Company methodically and deliberately secured the dockside. They were in no
particular hurry; they knew, as their opponents did not, that they were only
the first of the 82nd's reinforced rifle companies to enter Ankhana. The whole
of their job was to spring ambushes and probe the strength of resistance, and
they had done it well.
The
surviving friars fell back individually, winding through the streets and alleys
toward the Courthouse, harassing the riflemen at every opportunity. They, too,
had done their job well.
2
Early
encounters between Ankhanan citizenry and the advancing elements of the Social
Police 82nd Force Suppression, Unit were bloody. So many voices shouted in the
streets that even the fluent Westerling commands and curses of the irregulars
went unheeded, and the various companies of the 82nd were forced to resort to
nonverbal means of clearing their respective paths.
On
Earth, the hammer of automatic rifle fire aimed over the head is universally
understood, but Ankhanan citizens, inexperienced with chemically propelled
projectile weapons, could not interpret the loud but apparently harmless noise
and flashes coming from these odd broken-crossbow-like devices. By lowering
their point of aim a few degrees, the Social Police undertook to educate them.
But
each lesson sufficed only upon those near enough to see the blood spurting from
shattered limbs and riddled torsos, and to smell the voided bowels; thus, the
lesson was regularly repeated as the Social Police advanced. Through the streets
and along the gutters, blood and oil swirled red and black, immiscible, tracing
fractal geometries of turbulence.
It
was one of the irregulars who suggested the use of concus sion grenades. This
was more successful; not only does the airburst of such a device resemble a
mage's fireball closely enough to send magick-leery Ankhanans diving for cover,
these devices are so loud and so bright as to trigger the human
animal's instinctive panic response: run and hide.
The
82nd now made better time.
The
various companies converged, following the lead of one or more irregulars, each
of whom carried some variety of seeking item: graven crystals and divining
wands, runestaves and silver stilettos, needles that swung on balance points,
pendula of crystal, copper, gold, and iron.
Some
of these items were sensitive enough to trace the path of Kosall back to the
mountains; some were sensitive enough to indicate the location of every hand
that had ever touched its hilt. These items had been tuned, detuned, and
retuned to filter out the mutilated barge that had been the blade's home, the
rocks where it had rested on the river's bed, the headless corpse of a man who
had once borne it, now buried in the potter's field southwest of the Cathedral
of the Assumption.
Now,
the seeking items all pointed toward the Courthouse.
3
Only
Morgan Company—approaching from the southwest, through the stately homes of the
South Bank—encountered resistance from the Ankhanan Army. When they reached the
foot of Kings' Bridge, a mailed officer ordered them to halt; his order was
backed up by a triple row of shoulder-to-shoulder pikemen supported by archers
farther up the bridge's arch.
Invisible
fingers poked dozens, then hundreds, of sudden holes in breastplates and helms,
making a rattle like a bucket of stones emptied onto a griddle. Bloody wads of
flesh burst from the Ankhanans as they danced to a clattered half rhythm of
rifle fire. The survivors chose to allow Morgan Company to pass without further
interference.
Once
in Old Town, however, their progress became much more dangerous, as they came
under magickal fire from a small contingent of friars who were somewhat more
successful at keeping themselves under cover. Slowly, mechanically inexorable,
Morgan Company beat back their attackers.
Morgan
Company was the first unit to reach the Courthouse. Riflemen methodically began
to disperse the crowds while the irregulars loudly announced that Kings' Bridge
was now open, which produced a tidal surge toward the east and south. A hastily
assembled column of Ankhanan in fantry was scattered by two grenades and
several well-aimed bursts that shredded their standard and their officers. The
panic of fleeing men-at-arms was sufficient to awaken the caution of the other
infantry columns; their commanders decided to delay engagement with these
invaders until the situation could be investigated.
Shortly,
the survivors of Bauer Company suppressed the flames of Knights' Bridge with
foam spewed from handheld canisters and marched across. No one challenged them.
The
Social Police owned Ten Street, and the balance of the 82nd was mere minutes
away.
Those
friars who had been cut off on their retreat toward the Courthouse now slipped
away into the flame-smeared night, descending the mucker shafts alongside each
public pissoir. At the bottom, they were met by the Folk who had waited below,
and were led swiftly through the caverns.
4
Despite
the urgings of caution from the irregulars attached to his command, the 82nd's
brigadier ordered a standard attack.
Initially,
all went as expected. A handheld launcher lobbed a shaped sticky-charge across
Ten Street; the charge flattened against the Courthouse's bronze double doors,
and three seconds later detonated with a resounding whang! that blew the
doors into twisted hunks of fist-sized shrapnel.
It
also managed to ignite the black oil that painted the building, and set the
Courthouse on fire. Antipersonnel grenades arced up through the flames to
explode above the roof.
Several
canisters of airborne nerve agent sailed through the doorway, to finish up
whatever hostiles the shrapnel may have missed. Chemically propelled grapnels
shot toward the roof from the street, the Old Town wall behind, and the roof of
the nearby Ankhanan officers' quarters. While their power-reels would not work
in Overworld conditions, these soldiers were in superb physical condition, and
teeth on their gloves meshed with the toothed cords to provide an effortless
slip-proof grip. Hand over hand, they walked up the Courthouse wall at the
speed of a moderate trot, while below fifty riflemen rushed the atrium.
This
might have worked as a surprise attack; but the Social Police were part of the
field of power that was the blind god, and Raithe of Ankhana could feel their
every step.
They
never had a chance.
The
first hint that this operation may not go smoothly was the empty atrium itself.
The riflemen found no bodies, no blood—only a stone floor littered with chunks
of bronze, spent and flattened slugs, and chips of rock. The white vapor that
served as a visual marker for the nerve agent hung in the air, swirling slowly;
it had not dispersed farther into the Courthouse, nor did it eddy back toward
the blown-open doorway.
The
second hint was somewhat more dramatic.
As
the riflemen who had reached the roof gathered themselves into order and
approached the access stairs, some of the more sensitive among them noted a
vibration—like a subaural hum—that seemed to come through their boots. Before
they could call others' attention to this, the stone beneath their feet
softened, and sagged, then bellied downward like an overloaded trampoline,
sweeping the whole group off their feet into a muddled pile at the bottom; the
stone then ruptured and dumped them in an unceremonious tangle on the floor of
a small room below. The roof continued to collapse, pouring into the room like
mud down a funnel.
As
this mud fell upon the riflemen and oozed under and around them, the humming
rose in both pitch and volume as the four stonebender rockmagi sang the mud
back into stone once more. None of the riflemen managed to stand up before the
the stone closed over their faces; they barely had time to scream.
The
riflemen in the atrium found all the doors to be closed, and sealed, by some
invisible force that prevented them from even getting their hands within a span
of the handles. Further, they found the blown-open doorway to be sealed by a
similar force. The same inlay of silver wire that rendered them resistant to
many forms of magick also rendered most magick quite invisible; they could not
see the Shields that trapped them.
Most
primals can make light: it's a simple enough conversion of Flow. As they become
more skilled, they can make light in specific colors, from indigo far down into
the reds; a mere extension of this ability enables them to produce
electromagnetic radiation at a substantially lower frequency: that of
microwaves.
Coherent
beams of microwaves heated several earthenware pots that had been looted from the
Courthouse's commissary. Within these pots was lamp oil. As the lamp oil
boiled, it released a considerable amount of aromatic volatiles into the
Shield-sealed atrium. The riflemen, wearing self-contained breathing
apparatuses to protect them from the nerve agent, had no warning at all before
the team of microwave-producing primals turned their attentions to a small
piece of wood that lay on the floor near the center of the atrium. The wood
caught, sparked the oil vapor, and turned the atrium into a homemade, crude—but
effective—fuel-air bomb.
Bits
and pieces of the riflemen returned to the street riding a shattering blast of
flame.
Having
kept, as any good commander would, men in place to observe the results of his
probing attack, the brigadier now decided it was time to enlist local aid. He
instructed his irregulars to approach the officers of the encircling Ankhanan
Army under flag of truce.
He
needed troops who had more experience with magick: troops who had thaumaturges
of their own.
S
For
the tabernacle: a Mylar dome tent of stainless white, standing in the fireglow
of the Financial Court, stretched over gracefully arched poles of black
graphite fiber.
For
the congregation: the commanders of the Ankhanan army, met under flag of truce
with Artan officers.
For
the priest: an Artan adept stripped of armor and cloaked in cloth of gold, a
bishop's vestments from the Church of the Beloved Children of Ma'elKoth.
Within
the tabernacle, the congregation knelt, for God was among them.
Taller
than the moon, He stood upon a sapphire sky, and the stars played about His
shoulders. His face was the sun: blindness threatened any impertinent stare.
His voice thrummed in their blood; it spoke with their heartbeats; it was the
voice of life itself.
LIVE
EACH FOR ALL, His voice told them. EACH OF YOU BELONGS TO ALL OF YOU. LOVE EACH
OTHER, AND AWAIT MY RETURN.
And
His voice told each of them, severally and together: THOU ART MY OWN BELOVED
CHILD; IN THEE I AM WELL PLEASED.
Within
the tabernacle, Ankhanan commanders embraced officers of the Artan force that
had invaded their city, that had slaughtered their men and the citizens those
men had been sworn to defend. They received Artan embraces in return without
shame; were they not, in truth, Children of the same Father?
Were they
not brothers?
6
A
sheet of flame fills the window—the oil on the outside of the Courthouse still
burns merrily—but one of the two feys sitting on clerks' stools has enough of a
Shield going that the heat's no worse than the sunshine on a summer afternoon.
The
window's tiny, not much bigger than a wallscreen. This drab little clerks'
chamber is grey and airless, and I can imagine the drab little grey and airless
men and women who have occupied it over the centuries, hunched over the copying
table, the only music in their hearts the scritch-scratch-scritch of ink
nibs on vellum.
Are
people like that born soulless?
Christ,
I hope so.
Otherwise,
it'd be even worse.
We
all have our chairs gathered around the window, despite the heat. For a long
time, we sit and stare out into the flames.
It's
what the fey on the other stool is doing that makes for such an interesting
view.
Its
name translates roughly as firesight; within the flames are red-gold
shapes of buildings and soldiers and sundry weapons, from longbows to machine
pistols; sometimes I can even see the Courthouse from the outside. It's a hell
of a lot more efficient for reconnaisance than taking a physical look around;
the last guy to stick his head above a windowsill took a bullet through the
eye.
Say what
you want about the Social Police, but don't ever try to tell me those fuckers
can't shoot.
They
don't seem too organized out there just yet; the fire shows me a lot of
Ankhanan garrison troops holding off to either side of Soapy's perimeter, but
they don't look like they're about to start killing each other. There's a
couple squads on the wall already, too, and it looks like they've got RPGs on
Two Tower as well as on the Knights' Bridge gatehouse.
Deliann's
eyes open emptily, and he stares through the ceiling. He has to maintain
mindview to keep our little game of Chicken going; he's holding himself in
contact with the river. He lies on the writing table along one wall, Kosall
across his lap. The same two feys who cleaned up my legs had tried to work on
his, but when they put their hands on that abscess, black oil like from
Raithe's hand came bubbling out and burned the living shit out of them; now
they're downstairs getting healing of their own.
"Raithe?"
I say.
"It's
working," he answers. "The Social Police have made an alliance with
the army."
"And?"
"Yes,"
he murmurs. "He's coming."
I
nod. "Everybody here knows which he we're talking about,
right?" The grim looks I get from one and all tell me that seven years
haven't done any harm to Ma'elKoth's reputation.
I
lean back in my chair and fold my fingers over my stomach, and a contented sigh
completes my portrait of confidence. I meet their eyes one at a time: Raithe,
Orbek, t'Passe, Dinnie the Serpent, and they all stare back, waiting, clearly
calmed by my assurance. It's a fraud, but they don't know that: I'm showing
them exactly who they need to see right now, and they're eating it up.
"So," I start slowly, "here we are: in a natural castle closer
to perfect than any in the history of warfare."
They
favor me with the patiently blank stare people use while they're waiting for
the punchline.
I'm
pretty sure they won't be disappointed.
"Think
about it," I tell them. "The Courthouse facade is our outer bailey.
The inner offices and rooms are our killing ground—they have to come through
there to get at us. With primals and rockmagi and a couple hours to prepare?
Those poor bastards'll never know what hit them. Our keep is the Donjon: the
only access to our position is down a single flight of stairs cut into the
rock. But we have sally ports everywhere: every goddamn public pissoir
in Ankhana, and not a few of the private ones. Through the Shaft sump, we can
get into the caverns, out any pissoir—or two, or five—and hit the enemy
anywhere in the city, with no warning at all. The Folk here have spent days
underground already, fighting this Caverns War of yours. If they try to pursue
us down through the caverns, we can fuck them till they never walk straight
again.
"Between
the primals, the rockmagi, and the human adepts, we have the greatest
concentration of magickal power on this side of the God's Teeth. We have
blooded fighters from the Pit, and we have over a hundred fully armed
Monastics. Plus all the weapons and armor from the Donjon armory, food from the
commissary, water from the Pit
"We
have everything we need to hold these fuckers off for a long, long time—and to
chop them up every time they come for us. We can stand a long, bloody,
expensive siege here, and still probably get away through the caverns when things
finally go bad. I couldn't have set this up better if I'd planned it for
years."
T'Passe
nods. "A passive defense is a losing defense. To make this work, we should
hit them now, before they're in battle order."
"No,"
I tell her. "Let's not."
"No?"
"No.
We're not gonna fight them."
She
looks at me like I'm crazy. "Why not?"
"These
guys aren't the enemy. They just work for him."
"So?
They are his soldiers."
"Yeah.
But he has more. A lot more. We could kill a million of them, it wouldn't hurt
him. It wouldn't give him a fucking itch."
"Then
what are we doing here?" she asks. "Why aren't we running away?"
I
fall back on good of reliable Sun Tzu. "The essence of victory is the
unexpected. To win without fighting is the greatest skill."
Cryptic
Chinese shit doesn't, apparently, go down too well with t'Passe. "What
exactly do you have in mind?" she says sarcastically.
"Surrender?"
"Well,
sort of. Yeah. We're gonna surrender."
Now
everybody looks at me like I'm
crazy.
I
nod. "Yes, we are."
7
Just
more than an hour before dawn, the flames that had enclosed the Courthouse
finally flickered low enough that the 82nd could begin their final assault, in
concert with the Ankhanan Thaumaturgic Corps. The brigadier turned to the
commander of the city's Southwest Garrison—as the ranking Ankhanan officer
present—and offered him the honor of giving the order himself.
Before
the commander could speak, brilliant white light burst from every window of the
Courthouse, and a voice great enough to make the streets tremble beneath their
feet demanded, in the name of the Ascended Ma'elKoth, that they withhold their
hand.
A
moment later, Patriarch Toa-Sytell stepped through the shattered gap where the
Courthouse doors had once been.
"Rejoice!"
he proclaimed. "I am saved, and the traitors taken! A new day dawns upon
Ankhana! Rejoice!"
In
the confusions of spontaneous celebration that followed, the Social Police had
some difficulty, initially, determining what had happened. The story, as they
eventually pieced it together, was this: The Patriarch had been kidnapped by a
rogue Monastic, one Raithe of Ankhana. This Monastic had held the Patriarch
hostage, to drive away the Eyes of God, while his confederates arrived from the
embassy. Then, they had all descended to the Donjon to free the prisoners.
But
the threat to the Patriarch had been their fundamental miscalculation. Even the
oppressed former denizens of Alientown had too much patriotism in their hearts
to sanction such an act; they had poured up from their hiding places in
the caverns below the city to slay the prisoners, capture the Monastics, and
seize the two ringleaders, Raithe and Caine.
The
brigadier did not find this tale fully satisfying. First, there were not nearly
enough corpses. Well over a thousand human beings had been in the Pit; he
suspected that the vast majority of them had somehow escaped the slaughter,
perhaps through the caverns themselves, though he received sincere assurances
from the subhumans that this was impossible.
Second,
there was the matter of the sword.
The
sword had been seen in the possession of this man Raithe—several of the Eyes of
God confirmed it—but it was now nowhere to be found. Scouring the Courthouse
turned up nothing, even when the irregulars attached to the 82nd consulted
their bewildering array of graven crystals and divining wands, runestaves and
silver stilettos, needles that swung on balance points, and pendula of crystal,
copper, gold, and iron. Eventually, all agreed that whoever held the sword must
have carried it off into the caverns beneath the Courthouse and the city, the
rock of which is well known to baffle and defeat such magick. A good deal of
their urgency could be relaxed, however; if someone did indeed hold the sword
down there, it could not be used, and if this person or persons unknown brought
the sword back up to the surface, the seeking items of the irregulars would
locate it instantly.
With
this the brigadier was forced to be satisfied, for a certain amount of protocol
must be observed. As emissaries of the divine Ma'elKoth, the 82nd Force
Suppression Unit would be expected to join with the army in receiving the
blessing of the Patriarch from the Address Deck of the Temple of Prorithun,
high above the Court of the Gods, as soon as the Patriarch had a chance to change
his clothes and have some of the bruises of his ordeal treated by his healers.
One
possibility disturbed him, however. It was brought to his attention by a
particularly subtle thinker among his irregulars that an adept of sufficient
skill might be able to have the sword above ground, and use his power to
conceal not only himself and it, but also conceal the fact of his concealment.
Such an adept might hide in plain sight: the sole method of detection might be
the naked eye, as shielded by the silver-meshed helmets of the Social Police.
For
example, the irregular pointed out with uncanny accidental accuracy, an adept
could be holding that sword right behind the Ebony Throne in the Hall of
Justice, and no one might ever know.
8
With
the refined sensitivity of a mewed falcon, Avery Shanks felt the attention of
her captors shift away from her.
She
could still see her face in their silver masks, stretched and half lit by the
fleshy glow of bonfires outside, but she felt the eyes behind those masks
follow the stare of Arturo Kollberg, who had his face pressed against the
window, misting it with the slow grey-pulsing pseudopodia of the fog from his
breath.
For
indeterminate hours she had sat, silently patient, refusing thought. Her watch
did not work, and the clouded night beyond the armorglass windows of the
limousine gave no hint of time's passage. Her only clock was the occasional
slow drizzle of urine down Faith's catheter tube. In the faint reflected
firelight, she could see that Faith's relief bag was nearly half full.
She
had hung that bag herself, a fresh and empty polyethylene sac, on its hook in
front of one of the chair's large, incongruous wheels minutes before she and
Faith and the Social Police and the Kollberg-thing and the whole limousine had
gone through the mind-twisting silent roar of non-explosion that had blown away
the Studio's freemod dock and replaced it with the stinking gas-lit railyard.
The limo's soundproofing had not sufficed to close out the appalling clatter of
the enormous mechanized crane that had lifted the limo in a freight sling and
lowered it onto a flatbed car of what Avery could only assume—from her limited
exposure to historical dramas on the nets—to be a train.
Every
few minutes for what seemed like hours, the train had chugged and clanked and
jerked itself forward a few meters, only to stop again, perhaps as more cars
were loaded behind her.
One
of the couches had been ripped out of the limo's passenger lounge so that
Faith's wheeled chair could be lashed to eyebolts screwed crudely through the
carpeting. Avery knelt beside her, mopping fever-sweat from Faith's brow with a
kerchief, giving the girl an occasional sip from a white plastic water
bottle--a product of the SynTech subsidiary Petrocal—to moisten her mouth.
Finally
the train had rattled out of the huge gas-lit dome of armor-glass,
through a forest of night-black buildings, under the startling walls of a
medieval castle that had blossomed in moonlight through a chance break in the
clouds, and finally up a long, long grade to stop here, in this meadow,
overlooking a crater with five enormous bonfires spaced evenly about its rim.
Down
in the crater, on a platform supported by spidery scaffolding, Ma'elKoth
stood with arms upraised to the invisible stars. He was now Ma'elKoth
unquestionably: the Ma'elKoth of old, the Ma'elKoth of For Love of Pallas
Ril. His first act upon leaving the Railhead had been to summon the power
of his Ascended Self, as he put it: his bruises shrank, and faded, and the
stitched wounds across his brow and from the corners of his mouth consumed
themselves and vanished. A beard of burnished bronze sprouted curling from his
cheeks and jaw, and his eyes of mud brown became an astonishing emerald green.
Now, in the crater, the air around him was the source of the new light: a globe
half as large as the crater itself glowed with power, shimmering like a
ghost-image of the moon in a rushing stream.
Deliberately,
matter-of-factly, without any furtiveness of motion that might attract a
suspicious silver-masked eye, Avery opened her shoulder bag and pulled out her
bottle of Teravil caplets. She opened the bottle and shook three of them out
into her palm.
But
even that small motion was too much. "What is that?" a half muffled
voice hummed, sounding strange indeed without electronic digitization from the
mask speaker—almost human.
The
former Avery Shanks might have jerked guiltily; the former Avery Shanks might
have ventured a bold lie. This Avery Shanks had been too far reduced. Instead,
she extended them toward one of the Social Police officers at random, for she
could not know which one had spoken, and she was not certain that it mattered.
"Teravil," she said numbly. "My sedatives. I need to
sleep."
"Very
well."
She
could feel the patient stare of the eyes behind the mask as she put the pills
in her mouth, and she opened her hands to show them empty. She bit down,
wincing slightly at their alkaline bitterness. She chewed them well, and held
the gummy saliva-pudding they became under her tongue while she pretended to
swallow.
She
picked up the white plastic water bottle and pretended to sip from it, as
though to wash down the pills, while she instead spat the wad of half-dissolved
sedative back down the straw into the water inside. Then she did drink from it,
to rinse her mouth; the fraction of a pill she would ingest from this wouldn't
have the slightest effect on her high-tolerance system.
But
combined with the hypnotics that dripped from the W bag, a few mouthfuls of
this poisoned water should more than suffice to kill Faith.
Sometime
in this endless night, Avery had realized that she didn't need to kill herself.
Once Faith was dead, the Social Police would take care of that small
detail. Slowly, tenderly, she again moistened Faith's mouth with water
from the bottle.
Outside,
Ma'elKoth gestured, and the glowing sphere within the crater bulged and
stretched forth an amorphous limb. When that haloed limb touched a vehicle on a
flatbed railcar behind the limo, its running lights flared to life, and the
vibration of its turbines hummed in her bones. Ma'elKoth's limb of light swept
along the train, touching vehicle after vehicle, and one by one the bulky
shapes of Social Police assault cars roared to life and lifted into a sky now
clearing of clouds, high above the mountains, becoming blazing stars themselves
as they climbed out of the horizon's shadow and met the first scarlet rays of
the rising sun.
9
"He
comes."
Raithe's
voice is flat, and as chill as the chunk of blue ice that's pretending to be
the sky. The season's changed overnight, and it's colder than a gravedigger's
ass out here.
For a
second or two I don't take his meaning; I'm thinking, What is this, some
kind of freaky sex joke? because the he I think he's talking about
is Toa-Sytell, who's standing up on the Address Deck of the Temple of Prorithun
in his nice fresh clean Patriarchal robes with that big pointy hat, flanked by
a couple Thaumaturgic Corps officers and a brigadier in the Social Police,
giving his speech to the army, describing his rescue from the Enemy of
God—that's me—and the evil conspirators of the Monasteries—that's Raithe,
Damon, and the rest of the friars—by the astonishing hero-ism of the subhumans
gathered below.
The
blackened stonework of the Fountain of Prorithun against my back gives off some
residual warmth from the overnight fires—like the bricks we used to heat on the
woodstoves back at the abbey school, and put on our bedcovers to keep our feet
warm in the wintertime—and the stone under my rapidly numbing ass is warmer
than the air above. The closest we get to clouds today is the coils of smoke
that still trail upward here and there across the city.
In
the unforgiving dawn, Ankhana is a wasteland of blackened stone, charred
giant's jackstraws of tree trunks and cornstalks and ashes and all kinds of
shit everywhere. When the soldiers marched us here from the
Courthouse-well, marched them, carried me—a lot of what people stepped on
crackled like bone. Even from here, I can see six or seven bodies,
curled into that burn-victim ball: the fetal contortion created by tendons
shortening as they cook. Just across the street, beyond the Sen Dannalin
Wall around the Colhari Palace, the Temple of the Katherisi—once one of the
jewels of Ankhanan architecture, its graceful spires topped with beaten gold,
its high-vaulted walls supported by flying buttresses—is now a pile of
smudge-blackened rock that half chokes Gods' Way.
It's
hard on. my eyes: they keep trying to see the city the way it was the
first time I walked these streets, twenty-some years ago. I can only imagine
what it must be doing to Raithe, who's lived here his whole life.
But
if it bothers him, that desert-prophet face of his gives no sign. He sits
impassively at my shoulder, staring into the sky, his legs folded in seiza beneath
him, while Toa-Sytell rocks on through his speech.
Toa-Sytell
gives an impressive performance; I guess being the Patriarch sharpens your
public-speaking skills. He even manages to get a little weepy, nicely choked
up, when he recounts all the abuse that the elves and dwarfs and the rest have
taken at the hands of the Empire, the terrible oppression inflicted upon them,
and how great and true their patriotism and love of the Empire must be, to have
overcome their perfectly natural resentment and risked their lives to save the
Patriarch yadda yadda yadda horseshit.
Down
here in the Court of the Gods, I can't stop myself shivering, and the shackles
on my wrists are burning me with cold. The friars around us look stoic, if not
actually comfortable, huddled sullenly on the plaza flagstones—maybe they're in
better practice with the Control Disciplines than I am. The Ankhanan regulars
who guard us shift and stamp their feet, restlessly trying to keep their blood
moving. The dawn is so bright that the glare off weapons and armor slices my
eyes—but it brings only light today, not heat.
Raithe
stares to the east, his bleached gaze seeking blindly somewhere near the rising
sun. "So fast ..." he murmurs. "Faster than the wind .. . faster
than a falcon . . faster than the noise of his passing. He comes with swiftness
beyond imagining."
Now I
finally understand who he's talking about. "You can feel it?"
He
rattles his shackles, which shakes loose a few droplets of the black oil that
continues to leak through the skin of his left hand; his sleeve is black with
it up above the elbow, and I can see a splotch soaking through at the shoulder.
I
wince. "Doesn't that hurt?"
"Yes,"
he says expressionlessly. "It does."
Fast.
Faster than a falcon, he says. A fact floats up from the cesspit buried in the
part of my brain where I leave useless trivia. A peregrine falcon can dive at
something over three hundred kilometers per hour.
Oh,
crap.
If
Tan'elKoth's got a way to make cars work in Overworld physics, this is gonna
get ugly. I don't even want to think about the other shit he might be able to
make work. "How long do we have?"
Raithe
shakes his head distantly. "I cannot say. They move with speed that
baffles my judgment. They are so far—days away—yet they come so quickly that I
cannot believe they are not already here."
A
second later, I remember that I'm supposed to be the confident one. "We'll
deal," I tell him. "Somehow, we'll deal."
"Or
we'll die."
"Yeah.
Probably both."
Toa-Sytell
goes on, "And because these Folk—the folk we call subhuman—could so give
of themselves as to accomplish what even the great warriors sent to us by
Ma'elKoth from beyond the world—" A gesture toward the soapy brigadier at
his side. "—could not: to save not only me, but through me the
Imperial Church itself, I declare here, on this Assumption Day morning,
the word subhuman to be banished from Ankhanan tongues. There shall be
no more elves, but primals; no more dwarfs, but stonebenders; no sprites or goblins,
but treetoppers and ogrilloi. Henceforward, these heroes of the Empire shall be
known by the name they call themselves: the Folk. Hear me, Ankhana! Today, the
Folk become our brothers, and we theirs: citizens all, Ankhanans all, equal
before the law and in the eyes of God Himself."
That
part was my idea: a little nod toward Deliann, a seed for the future. If any of
us have a future.
But
"It's
Assumption Day?" I mutter at Raithe out of the side of my mouth.
"Today?"
He
shakes his head slowly. "I do not know. I have been further removed from
the normal calendar than even a prisoner in the Shaft. But, if it isn't—"
He
turns his leather-colored face toward me, and his ice-pale eyes see me
all the way down to the crud between my toes.
"If
it isn't Assumption Day," he says, "it ought to be."
Yeah.
Seven
years ago today
Seven
years ago right now, I was asleep at the bottom of the latrine in the old
gladiator pens at Victory Stadium. I remember opening my eyes in the gloom,
down there in the fecal dust and petrified turds; I remember the toilet-shaped
hole of daylight overhead. I remember monologuing, as I went up, that I seem to
spend most of my life climbing out of other people's shit.
Not
today.
Today,
it's my shit. That's progress, I guess.
I
guess.
Christ,
has it really been seven years? So much has changed, and so little; I can't
decide if it feels like yesterday or ten lifetimes ago.
Toa-Sytell's
winding up his speech: heading for the punchline of our little prank.
"And
we have been tried, as our city has been tried, in the crucible of faith,
tested by the Enemy of God, and by traitors from within—and we have not
been found wanting."
A
chuckle sneaks past my lips before I know it's coming. Raithe gives me a look
of wintry astonishment, and I shrug at him.
"Toa-Sytell
wanted an Assumption Day that Ankhana would never forget." My nod takes in
the blackened ruins of the city. "And this is how he thanks us."
Raithe's
expression stays as cold and disbelieving as before. Some people have no sense
of humor.
"And
now, in gratitude to the divine Ma'elKoth for our deliverance," Toa-Sytell
proclaims, "let us now join together in one voice, one Folk, Ankhanans
all, in the Imperial anthem."
Here's
the payoff: he reaches up, and takes off his hat.
What
puts the punch in our punchline is that he's the Patriarch; as soon as his hat
comes off, every single Ankhanan soldier is obliged to uncover his head in
respect. They unstrap their helms and tuck them under their left arms, and
everybody takes a deep breath while they wait for Toa-Sytell to begin the hymn.
Toa-Sytell,
though, holds his tongue—he's staring at the Social Police brigadier next to
him. Expectantly. The brigadier, after all, is an "emissary of the divine
Ma'elKoth."
Slowly,
with obvious reluctance, the brigadier takes off his silver-wire-inlaid helmet.
A
brigadier of the Social Police
Exposing
his face
Christ,
I can't look. I can't not look
He's
got kind of a moon face, large protuberant eyes, thinning mouse-colored hair,
and I get a sick feeling from looking at him, as he blinks and squints and
tries to shade his eyes against the dawn glare, which must be blinding, absent
the smoked armorglass face shield.
He's
so ordinary. It's shameful.
I
can't look away.
A
humiliated fascination has me hooked through the' jaw. It's like seeing
your father naked for the first time—Jeez, he's flabby, and he's got a
little knobby dick, and his chest sags, and what are these tufts of hair in
embarrassing places? and he's not really much like a father at all anymore.
There is something so peeled about the brigadier: now that he's lost the
power of his soapy anonymity, he's been shucked like a flicking oyster.
It's
like the Patriarch said Shazam! and Captain Marvel vanished, leaving a
middle-aged bookkeeper in his place.
The
whole battalion follows suit—and now, as their helmets come off and they stand
before us all with naked faces, they're not Social Police anymore. They're just
a bunch of guys in armor with guns.
So
the Patriarch starts in on the opening bars of "King of Kings," and the
army joins in, and up on the Address Deck, the brigadier decides to lie on the
floor and have a little nap. Below, all the soapies yawn, set down their
rifles, curl up on the ground, and fall right to sleep.
They
do this because the adepts of the Thaumaturgic Corps, good as they are, can't
read Toa-Sytell's Shell. They can't read his Shell because a couple of primal
mages—who have the advantage of a few hundred years' experience apiece—built a
Fantasy that the Patriarch's Shell was 100 percent A-OK normal. They had to do
this, because it's not.
This
Fantasy is powered by a little chip of griffinstone, in a technique once used
by Kierendal to get the whole Kingdom of Cant into Victory Stadium. This means
not only that their Fantasy pulls no perceptible Flow, but that it'll keep
right on going even if the adepts cover the Patriarch with a silver net or
examine him using griffinstones of their own in a magick-negative room—both of
which we guessed they might try, since Thaumaturgic Corps adepts are nasty and
suspicious by nature—because the griffinstone in question is secreted on the
Patriarch's person.
We
had some discussion on where to put the stone. My own suggestion was vetoed on
the grounds that the Patriarch might have an unexpected bowel movement and give
away our plan.
So he
swallowed it.
He
swallowed it because that chip of griffinstone is also powering another effect,
and the action of that effect, roughly speaking, is to make Toa-Sytell willing
to do just about anything—even swallow a griffinstone, even accept the Folk as
full citizens of Ankhana, even get a whole rifle battalion of Social Police to
take off their magick-resistant helmets so that a hundred-odd primals could hit
them all with a shot of mental fairy dust—to please his new best friend.
While
the whole Ankhanan army looks dumbly at the snoozing So cial Police,
Toa-Sytell beams a smile down toward us and gives Raithe a little wave.
I
nudge him with an elbow. "Congratulations, kid. You just took over the
Empire."
"I
have taken over nothing," Raithe says. "We have accomplished
nothing."
His
voice is bleak and fatal, so empty that the orders bawled by the Patriarch—bind
these Aktiri traitors; disarm them; bind them hand and foot—fade into a
background wash of white noise; while the astonished Ankhanan soldiers
gradually bestir themselves to comply, I'm lost in the vast echoic hollow of
Raithe's stare.
"I
wouldn't call this nothing, kid. We took the city ..." But the forced whistling-in-the-dark
tone of my own voice muzzles me, and the words trickle away.
"Did
you think He wouldn't know?" Raithe asks. "Did you think we could
surprise Him?
"I
have before."
"No,"
Raithe says, "you haven't."
Dark
thunder rumbles in the east and becomes a buzzing whine that threatens a roar.
"He
is no longer the man you defeated," Raithe says, his voice mirroring the
rising howl that curdles my stomach, because I know the sound, a sound I never
dreamed could shimmer Ankhanan air.
Turbocells.
"He
is no longer a man at all."
He
lifts his eyes to the east, and I follow his gaze, and the howl of turbocells
becomes a shattering roar.
The
sun weeps lethal titanium tears.
All
true stories end in death.
This
is the end of the tale of the crooked knight.
TWENTY-FOUR
Deliann
sat upon the Ebony Throne, the blade of Kosall rough-crusted and cold across
his knees, and the Hall of Justice throbbed with pain.
Pain
shimmered starkly in the brilliant sunbeams that struck like spears through the
clerestory; pain sizzled in the black oil that seeped from the abcess on his
thigh and burned the flesh of his leg to the smoking bone. The granite
countenance of the giant carven Ma'elKoth had gone blank with agony, and the
sand on the arena floor below the dais stung as though it had been rubbed into
an open wound. The air itself snarled and snapped and bit at his flesh, and his
every breath inhaled white flame.
The
hall was empty, ring upon ring of vacant gaping benches climbing the sides of
the bowl; Deliann was alone with the pain.. But the pain was not alone with
Deliann. With the pain, threading among and through its every splinter,-came
terror and panic, despair and the bleak surrender that is the bottomless abyss
of death.
Some
small portion of this pain and terror and despair and death was Deliann's; the
rest came from outside. It rode the river's pulse into his heart from the
brilliant sunlit morning, in the crisp autumn air, where assault cars swooped
and spun and spat fire.
Deliann
had less than nine minutes to live.
2
Those
sun-tears blossom in four petal-perfect wingovers, and laser-straight lines of
tracers from their gatling cannon stitch geometric gouts of exploding stone
into the streets below. They claw pyrotechnically along Gods' Way toward us,
and the air hums with shrapnel, and I
I can
only sit and watch.
The
assault cars sweep overhead, spraying missiles and HEAP rounds. The western
curve of the Sen-Dannalin Wall shrugs like it's tired after standing five
hundred years; it decides to sit down in a landslide of masonry and limestone
dust. The cannon rounds hit the street like grenades with splintered flagstones
for shrapnel. They shred the army, the primals, the soapies indiscriminately:
shrapnel has no friends.
I
still don't move.
I am
paralyzed by how badly I have miscalculated.
Up on
the Address Deck, Toa-Sytell stretches his hands toward the assault cars. He
could be ecstatic at the power of his returning god, or begging for mercy, or panicked
and crapping his robe. Nobody will ever know, because a missile takes him right
through the chest—an eyeblink of astonishment at the gape of his guts to the
morning sky—before it detonates against the wall at his back. The Patriarch,
the soapy brigadier, the Household Knights, and most of the wall of the Temple
of Prorithun vanish in a fireball that spits blood and bone fragments and
chunks of stone into the sky.
And
that's it, right there: that's what Raithe was talking about. Tan'elKoth
wouldn't do this. He loves this city more than the world. He would never do
this.
Pieces
of the Patriarch and the Temple and the rest rain over us in clatters and
liquid plops, and I can't really hear anything anymore except a general roaring
in my ears and I know the assault cars are banking around for another pass, and
now some riot vans swing into view over Six Tower and settle toward the middle
of the far end of Gods' Way, seeking solid earth beneath them to absorb the
recoil of the heavy artillery that sprouts from their turrets.
The
riot vans open up with their twin forward-mount fifties, taking chunks out of
the stonework along the whole street, enfilading the fuck out of us—the heavy
slugs popping through plate mail sound like God's shaking a tin can full of rocks—and
somehow that finally gets my attention. I twist around so my shackled hands can
grab the lip of the Fountain of Prorithun behind me, and I drag myself over
into the bowl, leaving skin behind on the smog-corroded limestone. I fall into
the shallow fountain water that's now turbid with dirt and blood, and
Oh
Oh,
my good and gracious motherfucking god.
I get
it now.
He
can make the cars work, he can fucking well make anything work—The
Courthouse—maybe Deliann—maybe if I can
Christ,
my legs, I'll never make it
I
could be wrong. I have to be wrong.
Jesus—Tyshalle----anybody
who's listening: Please, please, please let me be wrong.
3
From
deep within the oceanic boil of pain and fear, using the whole of the river for
his senses, Deliann watched the slaughter. It became for him an ebb and flow
and tangle of conflicting energies, an abstract action-painting come to life.
The sky erupted incarnadine and amethyst that swept against the sunflower,
azure, and viridian of the lives in the city below. The colors met and mixed,
broke apart and blended together again in a rith dream of astonishing
beauty: a living Mandelbrot set spiraling into itself and out again: a spray of
wildflowers springing fresh and lovely from a shitpile of ugly, desperate brutality.
For
all its terror and savagery, for all its howled agony and whimpered despair,
the flesh that bruised and bled was only shadow: translucent, incorporeal, more
rhythm than reality, a semivisible expression of energy at play. That energy
followed laws of its own making, in a system as ordered as a galaxy and as
random as a throw of dice, an ever-shifting balance of the elegant with the
raw.
For
the first time, he understood Hari. He understood his passion for violence. He
could see how Hari could love it so.
It
was beautiful.
But
it's his eyes that see that beauty, Deliann
thought. Not mine.
Because
with the sense of the river, Deliann felt each slash and smack of bullet and
shrapnel into flesh; he saw through the eyes of men and women who clutched
futilely at the spurt of blood from their own wounds and the wounds of their
friends, who tried to stuff spilled guts back into the gape of ripped-open
bellies, who tried to kiss life back into staring dust-coated eyes; he felt
their terror, and their despair, and he decided that he was going to have to do
something about this.
It
was this decision that killed him.
He
had six minutes to live.
4
I
pull myself up to the lip of the fountain, and the limestone shivers with
impacts of fragments and slugs and the air is alive with zips and zings and
shrieks of jagged shrapnel and the handclap hypersonic pops of 50-caliber
slugs: the open space above the fountain's lip is itself a predator and it's
got my scent. I have looked death in the eye plenty of times, but this is
different: it's random, unconscious. Unintentional.
Impersonal.
This
is not my kind of fight.
Poking
my head up to get a peek over the rim is the hardest goddamn thing I've ever
done in my life.
Pretty
much everybody who can still move has cleared the plaza by now; a few
scarlet-smeared shapes of anonymous flesh drag themselves inch by shivering
inch toward any shadow that might promise cover. At the far end of Gods' Way
the main cannon of the riot vans ca-rump whistling shells that blast
house-sized chunks out of the row of temples and government buildings lining
the Way; the East Tower of the Colhari Palace overlooks the massacre with a
lopsided face of gaping ragged empty eyes and smoke-drooling idiot's mouth
before one more shell blasts out the cheek and the whole damn thing topples
sideways and collapses in a mushroom cloud of masonry dust to the courtyard
nine stories below.
The
Folk are starting to fight back now, with the kind of heroism that would be
inspiring if it wasn't so pathetic: firebolts splash harmlessly off the
radically sloped ceramic armor of the riot vans, and some ogrilloi have figured
out how to shoot the soapies' assault rifles. They'd do more damage with harsh
language and a stern look.
One
lone treetopper flutters up into the path of an assault car, and she and her
birdlance get sucked into one of the turbocells. What's left of her sprays out
the back in a crimson mist, but that birdlance was steel. The turbocell chews
itself into a metal-screaming burst of junk, and the assault car slews sideways
and dips and hits the street and bounces, skipping up over my head in a
thundering meteor-trail of flame that skips one more time before it slams into
the Financial Block and explodes, which takes out the whole building, and the
damn thing just keeps on exploding as its munitions pop off like a full-scale
fireworks display: rockets and starshells and mortar bombs and showers of
flame.
And
fucking Raithe is still sitting where I left him: in seiza right in
front of the fountain, calmly picking the locks on his shackles while he stares
at the carnage around us with a dreamy smile on his face. The next assault car
swoops toward us and strafes a line of cannonfire that's gonna go right up his
nose, so I reach over and grab the back of his collar and haul his ass into the
fountain next to me.
He
still has that dreamy smile after I dunk us both in the water and three or four
25-millimeter rounds blow chunks out of the fountain's bowl but somehow manage
to miss our tender flesh. He lies on his back, the dirty water swirling
bloody mud clouds around him as it drains out from the fractured bowl. He says
something—the roar of turbines and artillery fire blows it away, but I can read
his lips.
You
saved my life.
I
give him a shake that bounces his skull off the limestone. "Where's
Ma'elKoth?" I shout against the roar-walled air. "Can you still
feel him? Is he still coming—or did he stop?"
"You
said you'd kill me if you ever got the chance," he shouts back, "but you saved me,
instead!"
"I
changed my fucking mind, all right? Don't make me regret
it. Where is he?"
His
eyes glaze, fixing on some quiet distance where the blood and smoke and howl of
combat is not even a dream. "Stopped," he says, voice dropping.
"He's stopped. Half a day's walk, almost."
Ah,
god.
I let
go of his shoulders and bury my head in my hands.
I
never dreamed I could be so utterly outfought.
A
day's walk, to a friar on a decent road, is about thirty miles. I know why he
has stopped, fifteen miles outside the city.
I
know what he's waiting for.
Ah,
god.
I
prayed I was wrong, and this is Your answer.
5
Deliann
sighed.
He
lifted Kosall by the quillons, and discovered that he was afraid. He remembered
too well the excruciating rip of his mind stretching beyond its tolerance, when
he had only flashed upon the goddess; he feared that to touch her directly,
mind to mind, would burn his brain in an instant.
Rather
than put his hand upon the hilt and confront her, he sought within himself the
chain of energy he had created, to bind the gods to the river and the river to
the gods. When he found it, he visualized it as a channel, rather than a chain;
a long narrow sluice through which flowed the river's pain. Along that channel
he sent forth a tendril of consciousness—gingerly, almost tenderly, attempting
only to brush her uttermost periphery.
In a
vast darkness of doubt and horror, he found her: clothed in sunlight, weeping
tears of blood.
She
lifted her head and regarded him. He could not guess what it was she might see;
he had no sense of a body, or a face. To himself, he seemed only a disembodied
spark of awareness.
I
know you. She extended a hand,
pierced through the palm, as though offering a kiss of the wound's bloodless
lips. Her other hand she placed upon her breast, above her heart. Have you
come to hurt me again?
I
hope not, he replied.
My
daughter, she said tragically, grey
winter closing down upon her robe of light. My daughter is dying.
He
thought of Demeter and Persephone, and could not know if that thought was his,
or if it had come from her. Many others live. You must save those who can
still be saved.
Once
I styled myself a savior, she
replied. Now I am only the image of a dead woman. Saving is beyond me.
I
will not argue. You must act.
How
can I? With no body—with no will
I
have a body. Take me as you would have taken Raithe. What you lack, I will
provide.
Fresh
tears of blood coiled down her cheeks. You do not know what you are offering
I
do not offer. I demand: Take me. Save these people.
He
opened his mind to the wounded goddess.
She
drifted toward him helplessly.
It
will kill you, she wept.
He
replied, I know.
He
drew her to him, and then she was around him, and she was within him, and she
was him. He made her pain his, and he made his intention hers. She reached
through him to the river, and the Song of Chambaraya swelled within his heart
from a single thin chime of welcome to a titanic symphony of power.
Five
minutes.
6
The
god felt the questing tendrils of a mind colored in the shades of the goddess
touch briefly upon its inmost nature
And
just as suddenly fade.
The
creature that had been Kollberg felt the ghost-echo of the goddess' pain vanish
from its collective consciousness; an instant later, Faith's silent weeping
stilled, and it knew it had been betrayed.
The
girl was unconscious, and the link was broken.
A
sunburst of rage flashed through him, its glare wiping away the grassy meadow
on the bank of the Great Chambaygen, wiping away Ma'el-Koth who paced on the
grassy verge in his stylish suit, wiping away the limousine, the Social
Police, Avery Shanks—wiping away, for one instant, even the power of the god he
was.
For
that instant, he was again Arturo Kollberg, once an Administrator, once again
betrayed.
By a
Michaelson.
With
a snarl, he lunged across the passenger lounge and grabbed the collar of
Faith's white cotton shift. His arthritic fingers twisted into a fist—and his
arm was seized by the impersonal gauntlet of a Social Police officer. He tried
to yank himself free, but he might as well have tried to shift a mountain with
his wasted arm.
Futility
flashed in where his rage had been. He hung, helpless—but that helplessness, so
long familiar, brought him back to himself. He was once again the god, and he
was happy.
The
god understood that the girl had been poisoned; it could feel her slow slide
down to death through Ma'elKoth's magickal perception. The god also knew, now,
that the sword was in the Hall of Justice in the Ankhanan Courthouse.
In
the same instant that knowledge had been acquired, an impulse had formed itself
somewhere in the unimaginable vastness of ten billion subconsciously linked
minds. It may have come from Ma'elKoth, or from Kollberg, or from Marc Vilo, or
from any of the other mutually anonymous members of the Board of Governors; it
may have come from a Syn-Tech chemical engineer, or an undercover operative of
the Social Police at an illegally clandestine Labor gathering, from a housewife
in Belgrade or a janitor in New Delhi. Perhaps it originated in all of them
together; it was another way of sharing guilt. One ten-billionth of the
responsibility for this was a light enough burden for even the most sensitive
to bear.
The
bodies that had once housed Arturo Kollberg and Ma'elKoth shared a single
identical smile.
Five
minutes from now, the girl would be irrelevant.
Twenty
thousand meters above Ankhana, a Bell & Howell AAV-24 Deva completed a long
dive-curve, released a MEFNW blast-negative HEW, then generated maximum thrust
as it sped away toward the east.
7
My
mouth is numb; my lips barely work. I shout in Raithe's ear to be heard above
the shatter of cannonfire. "Can you talk to him?"
"What?"
I dig
one hand hard into his shoulder. "Can you talk to Ma'elKoth? You're
aware of him—is he aware of you? Can you communicate?"
His
eyes are still lost in the heavens. "One vehicle—one Bell & Howell
AAV-24 Deva, crew of four, effective ceiling twenty-five thousand meters, top
speed Mach two-point-one, armament—"
"Stay
with me, goddammit!" I give him another shake. "You have to talk to
Ma'elKoth—you have to tell him—"
"It
dives, falling like a falcon—"
All I
can think about for one endless second is how fucking cold the water is as it
trickles away around us; I'm freezing in here, my hands are numb and my whole
body shakes, and my voice fades in and out behind a roaring in my ears that's
even louder than the battle around us. Because I knew that car would be up
there. One, all alone.
One
is all it takes.
I
want to look up, absurdly, to hunt the sky for the pinprick of titanium that I
know will be invisible. I want to look, but I can't.
I'm
afraid.
My
mind smokes with cinematically vivid recollection of file footage from
Indonesia. Inside my head, that titanium teardrop lays a tiny silver egg before
it speeds away toward the rising sun
"Tell
him we surrender!" I snarl. "Goddammit, Raithe, you have to
tell him we surrender! Tell him I give up! I'll give him the sword—whatever
he wants—just tell him don't do it!"
The
funny thing is, I'm the one who gave him the idea.
"Shit,
they'd nuke the city."
"One
city is a small price to pay for an entire world."
"Yeah?
What if it's your city?"
"I
am willing to take that risk"
He's
trumped us. Called my bluff.
It'll
kill every single one of the former inmates of the Pit who carry Shanna's
countervirus. It'll kill every single one of us.
Raithe.
Deliann.
T'Passe.
Orbek.
Dinnie,
Fletcher, Arken, Gropaz
Damon.
Majesty. The Faces. The Serpents. The Subjects of Cant. Me.
One
single flash of invisible light will burn our bones, and Ma'elKoth walks in
here whenever he feels like it and picks up the sword, and game fucking over. I
thought I was hard-core. I thought I was ruthless.
Shit.
I
didn't even know what ruthless looks like.
"Does
he hear you? Raithe, goddammit, does he hear you?"
Raithe's
gaze returns from heaven and meets mine. "No," he says. "No,
He
doesn't. I can no longer feel Him. Any of them."
An
ice dagger slips in between my ribs. I make myself ask, "Faith—?" He
gives his head a tiny shake. "Unconscious, at the very least. Possibly
dead."
My
head lowers: my neck bending under the brutal weight of the futility of
existence.
Before
the astonishing pain can take full hold of me, a new thunder blossoms in the
sky. I wrench myself over beside Raithe and look up. Above us a coruscant aster
of flame spreads its tendrils for an instant, then vanishes into a jellyfish
spray of black smoke and falling bits of metal. Even as I watch, another
assault car detonates the same way, and another.
Raithe
speaks my guess, but in his voice is certain knowledge. "Deliann has
joined the battle."
"You
can feel him?" I seize Raithe's shoulders and bounce his head off the
stone. "You have to talk to him! You have to tell him to get the fuck out
of here—"
A
grin blossoms on his face, the only honestly happy smile I've ever seen there.
"No."
"Raithe,
you have to tell him! The caverns—he can still make it to the caverns!
He can live—he can defend the sword! You have to tell him to defend the
sword!"
"No,
I don't," he says serenely, lying back as though the puddled water is a
comfortable bed. "I don't have to do anything."
My
vision hazes red and the next thing I know I have my hands on his collar,
twisting it into a strangle with tension against the chains that connect my
shackles. But he's a trained Esoteric, and he breaks my hold with a leverage
move of his left hand against my right wrist—and the oil from his skin burns me
like acid. My hand springs open, and he shoves me away.
"I'm
free," he says. "Free."
Christ,
he's raving. "You're free to fucking die," I tell him.
"You don't know what's coming—"
"I
don't care what's coming."
That
assault car dives above my head and inside my skull simultaneously; I don't
have time to waste on Raithe right now.
Guess
I'm gonna have to do this the hard way.
I
leave him lying on the wet stone aiming his idiot's grin at the sky, and drag
myself toward the western edge of the fountain's bowl, hoping the fountain's
superstructure will give me at least a shadow of cover.
It
takes me a long time to get into mindview.
I
know I'm there when I don't care anymore about getting shot or shredded or
flash-roasted to death; I only care about getting to the Courthouse. Getting to
Deliann. To Kris. Slowly, unsteadily, I climb out of the bowl and stand.
Bullets
and shrapnel fan me with turbulence-swirled breeze.
I
lean forward, and one of my legs swings ahead to stop me from falling. I keep
leaning, and my legs keep swinging, and I don't fall yet. I'm on my way.
8
HEW
stands for High Energy Weapon, a centuries-old designation for offensive
devices that rely primarily upon nuclear fission, nuclear fusion, or some
combination of the two for their destructive effect.
Blast-negative
is a somewhat misleading
appellation created by the weapon's design team, reflecting their successful
tamping of energetic photon—gamma and hot X-ray—emissions, thus reducing the
blast and thermal effects of the individual fireballs to roughly .1 kiloton
apiece: a mere hundred times as powerful as a large chemical high-explosive
bomb.
MEFNW
stands for Multiple Enhanced-Fast-Neutron Warheads. Fast neutron radiation
decreases by a factor of ten for every five hundred meters from the detonation
point, due to atmospheric absorption; the weapon's design team countered this
effect by using a large number of very small individual warheads that
automatically deploy during system activation, spreading a nuclear umbrella
over the entire target area that delivers an average of ten thousand rads of
prompt radiation to all targets within the deployment radius. Fast neutrons are
extremely penetrating, even heavy shielding may only reduce this exposure by
two to five thousand rads. A dose of eight thousand rads is instantly
incapacitating and fatal; five thousand induces incapacitation within five
minutes of exposure, and death within two days.
Enhanced-Fast-Neutron
weapons also produce strong secondary radiation, as neutrons striking atomic
nuclei in the ground and surviving structures create a broad array of extremely
unstable isotopes. Neutron-induced secondary radiation decays by 90 percent
within seven hours, but it can still kill; total exposure rises with time. The
passage of forty-eight hours reduces radiation to a nonhazardous level, but by
this time, any living material that might have survived the initial prompt
radiation has suffered mortal damage from the secondary radiation.
This
is, in fact, the use for which this particular weapon was designed: to
sterilize localized HRVP outbreaks. Part of the rationale for the
blast-negative feature of this weapon is that it, unlike conventional
thermonuclear weapons, does not generate powerful Mach waves that might scatter
viral proteins beyond the lethal radiation zone.
As it
fell, the HEW deployed computer-controlled warpable airfoils to control its
path and counteract the vagaries of high-altitude winds, and began to shed
bomblets with airfoil vanes of their own. Each bomblet carried its own
targeting system, comparing the radar signature of the central device against
the infrared image of the city below. Cities are always hotter than the
surrounding countryside, and this one in particular blazed like a beacon.
Radar-altimeters
ticked off the fall of the warheads. Drag created by the airfoils stabilized
their terminal velocity at 97.3 meters per second after approximately nine
seconds, continually adjusting for increasing air pressure as they fell.
Optimal
detonation altitude is two kilometers.
One
hundred seventy-six seconds to go.
9
Raithe
lay on his back in the fountain's bowl, savoring the chill of the wet rough
limestone against his back. The sky above him was full of lead and steel, smoke
and flames, the howls of Boeing VT-17 Air Superiors and the shrieks of the
dying. The intimacy of his connection to the waiting god lent him a curiously
doubled perspective: his Overworld eyes saw armored giants hurling fireballs at
the city while his Earthly knowledge showed him RV-101 Jackson MAATTs—Mobile
Armored Artillery and Troop Transports—dug into the street with their
recoil-absorbing mounting screws, firing their 122-millimeter main guns; the
Air Superiors that strafed the city looked to him like flaming chariots of minor
sun gods, though he could at will quote the specifications of their
powerplants, armament, speed, and range. At need, he felt sure he could summon
the name of each individual crewman. But it was not this that brought the bliss
to his thin lips.
He
smiled because he could die here.
He
had realized it even as he knelt at Caine's side and watched the first
strangely beautiful arc of swooping assault cars. Caine had scrambled for
cover, and Raithe had not moved. He didn't have to. He had answered all his destinies.
He
was free.
For
more than ten years he had sought only to discover what his destiny required.
He had never even asked himself what he wanted. I may not master my destiny,
but I don't have to let my destiny master me.
Raithe
smiled up into the infinite sky.
And
it took Caine to teach me that.
He
rolled over and crawled to the lip of the fountain's bowl to peer out. Through
the smoke and flame and the sizzling death songs of slugs and shrapnel that
ripped the air of the plaza, Caine staggered like a zombie that decomposed with
every step, heading for the far curve of the Sen-Dannalin Wall. He'd never make
it.
Raithe
said, "All right, then."
He
gathered himself, and sprang.
Machine-gun
fire tracked him as he sprinted across the plaza, the air solid with howling
bullets that he knew, abstractly, were 12.5-millimeter armor-piercing rounds
tipped with depleted uranium traveling at an average of 423 meters per second.
He fully appreciated the reality of these slugs only after one punched through
his thigh—a crisp impact like being hit by a rattan practice sword, leaving two
thumbnail-sized holes on opposite sides of his leg but missing the bone and not
even breaking his stride. Another took him low in the back as he tried to jink
and skidded on a puddle of blood; an instant later his foot tangled in loops of
intestine that spilled from half a corpse. He fell, and a third round drilled a
neat hole in his shoulder blade before exiting an inch below his collarbone.
He
rolled with the impact, his shoulder spreading numb fire through his chest—the
bone shot would be excruciating, once feeling returned—and came to his feet as
a shell whistled overhead and blasted a huge chunk from the Sen-Dannalin Wall
just as Caine reached it. Raithe lunged, throwing himself through the air, and
his wounded shoulder slammed into the small of Caine's back, the impact
carrying them both out from under a hail of head-sized masonry.
They
lay on the ground together for a few seconds, panting air back into their
lungs, as more shells boomed and blasted all around.
Raithe
struggled to his hands and knees. "Come on," he said, beckoning.
Slowly, still gasping, Caine pulled himself onto Raithe's back, looping his
shackled arms around Raithe's shoulders. When he was finally able to speak, he
said breathlessly, "What the fuck?"
Raithe
allowed himself a smile as warm as the blood that ran down his legs. "I
changed my mind."
I0
He
carries me through the twisting backstreets and alleys with artillery blowing
everything to shit all around us. Blood pumps out of him at a pretty good rate,
but none of it's spurting—probably missed the arteries. He might live through
this.
That
is, if he doesn't do anything stupid, like haul a crippled old man around on
his fucking back.
He's
wheezing already, staggering drunkenly. No chance we'll get to the Courthouse.
No chance we'll get to a pissoir and make it into the caverns—the pissoirs
around the fountain are shattered and choked with rubble, and the next nearest
is at the foot of Knights' Bridge, right by the Courthouse. I shout in his ear,
"We're not gonna make it! Tell Deliann to get his ass down into the
Pit!"
He
stumbles on, grimly desperate. "I ... can't communicate ... and run ... at
the same time. Without Faith . . . there is only the link . . . that Deliann
himself created ..."
Up
ahead I see a storefront that looks like it took a direct hit: a jagged gape
invites us into darkness. "In there! Go on: maybe they have a
cellar!" He shakes his head and tries to keep going, but I wrap my arms
around his neck in a modified sleeper. "Do it, or I'll choke you out and
we'll both die in the street."
He
sags, surrendering, and carries me into the ruined building. It looks like it
might once have been some kind of apothecary shop. There is a man-sized wad of
bloody flesh just inside the door, and a trail of blood into the back hallway
ends with the body of an old woman, dead. Looks like she had tried to drag
herself toward the apartment whose door stands open at the end of the hall.
"Put
me down."
Raithe
stares at the blood-streaked floor. "Here?"
"Yeah.
It's just blood, kid."
He
nods, and lowers me to the floor so that I can put my back against the wall. He
looks like he wants to say something, but a second later he just collapses
against the wall and slides down beside me.
"Now,"
I tell him. "Talk to Deliann. Tell him to quit fucking around with the
goddamn assault cars and get his ass into the caverns."
Raithe's
eyes defocus for a moment, and when his gaze returns he shakes his head.
"He won't."
"He
has to! Tell him he fucking has to—"
"He
won't. The power of the goddess is upon him, and he fights to save us all. In
the caverns, he would be powerless."
"Tell
him about the bomb!" I snarl, sinking my fingers into Raithe's shoulder.
He tries to yank free—fat fucking chance. The rest of me might be out of shape,
but I've still got a grip like a bench vise. "It's a fucking neutron
bomb! If he stays up here, it's all for nothing—we should have just handed
over the fucking sword in the first place and everybody goes home. What the
fuck does he think the goddess can do about a fucking neutron bomb?"
"He
says ..." Raithe murmurs thickly, his voice trailing away. "He says
..." His face twitches spastically, and his eyes glaze over entirely. I
shake him, hard, then again; I grab his face with my other hand and turn him
toward me.
"Tell
him, Raithe! Fucking tell him—tell him—" But I can see he no longer
hears me. My hands fall to my lap, limp, useless, and the chain that links the
manacles clatters like distant mechanical laughter. "Tell him that one
goddamn person I love has to live through this," I finish softly.
But
Raithe only stares, unseeing, into the invisible distance.
II
Fifteen
miles away, senses that belonged to the body of Ma'elKoth showed the blind god
a sudden current in the Flow, a trickle that became a tide that swelled to a
maelstrom the size of the sky.
The
blind god sent Ma'elKoth's body lunging for the limousine, hammering upon its
silvered windows; it could not wait for this knowledge to trickle along the
involute pathways of its aggregate mind. "The child!
Stimulants—injections—shake her! Slap her!" the blind god roared
through Ma'elKoth's mouth. "Wake the child!"
I2
The
goddess felt the downward sweep of the hundreds of bomblets,
already below the highest-flying eagles that cruised her skies. She had no
leisure for subtlety, or for configuring Deliann's body as she had Raithe's;
she could use only the sort of skills he already had.
She
poured the power of Chambaraya into Deliann's Shell; she expanded it beyond the
Courthouse, beyond Ankhana, beyond the matrix of golden force that sealed the
city against the Winston Transfer; she made of it a rising dome that compassed
all the land for miles about, and swallowed every individual falling bomblet.
She
felt each of them—and each of the assault cars, and the riot vans that rained
death on a smaller scale upon the city. She felt even the limou sine on
that distant grassy riverbank, where a Social Police medical officer had
produced an evacuant syringe and forced its flexible plastic tube down Faith's
throat, and now methodically pumped the water and digestive acids that were the
only contents of her stomach into a stinking puddle on the limo's carpet, while
another officer injected a stimulant mixture into her N drip.
The
goddess felt the energy that surrounded each bomblet, each vehicle: the
crackling power of transmutative force that enclosed each of them within a
bubble of local physics like those of Earth. She spent precious seconds
examining that energy, letting it speak to. her mind. What she must do, she
could do only once, and all in an instant: too slowly, and the randomizing
boundary effect might bring about the detonation she sought to prevent.
Then
she tuned Deliann's Shell in the same way he had done, those long weeks ago in
the white room at Alien Games, when he had tapped into the power of Kierendal's
griffinstone. She touched that energy, all of it. Then she took it.
She
drained every joule, every erg, every electron volt.
This
was energy that Ma'elKoth—himself a transhuman creature specifically designed
to channel energies that would incinerate any mortal frame—had spent many hours
summoning and channeling piecemeal; to have done it any faster might have
destroyed even him. This unimaginable energy, she drained in an unmeasurable
fraction of a second. All that energy had to go somewhere.
And
to get there, it had to pass through Deliann.
I3
Deliann
was conscious. More than conscious. More than superhumanly conscious.
Transcendently conscious. He had not surrendered to the lack; he had let the
goddess flow through him. He remained aware.
He
felt his brain begin to boil.
This
boiling was the effect of a burst of gamma and hard X-ray radiation originating
in his pineal gland; it superheated his cerebrospinal fluid, and in
approximately 10-4 seconds, his brain, his skull, and the rest of his body
would vaporize into a cloud of plasma as high-energy photons ionized his
tissues.
He
could feel this happen because he was thinking, roughly speaking, at the speed
of light.
In
his next-to-final ten-thousandth of a second, he used the river's power to find
Raithe, where he leaned against a wall in a darkened building ripe with
the stench of blood. Deliann took some of the energy that screamed into him and
used it to join that place to this, warping reality and space so that for just
a ten-thousandth of a second, he could reach into that dark, gore-smeared
hallway.
There,
he dropped the sword.
In
his final ten-thousandth of a second, he thought of his father, back in Malmo,
of his mother, dead these many years. Of his human brothers and his sister. Of
T'farrell Ravenlock and the Living Palace, of Kierendal and Tup.
Of
Torronell, and Caine. .
He
said good-bye, and used his last instant of will to transform the radiation
that killed him.
He
made himself into light.
I4
The
Social Police officer who flew the lead car had only an eyeblink to comprehend
that his computer-controlled flight surfaces no longer responded to his
commands before every molecular logic circuit in the vehicle underwent
spontaneous quantum decay and the car tumbled like a wad of paper and crashed
into the Old Town wall just below One Tower. The wall held. The car didn't.
Beside
the Great Chambaygen, Ma'elKoth fulminated as the limo's idling turbines whined
down to silence.
The
crew of the AAV-24 Deva had several minutes to watch the ground fall up toward
them.
Assault
cars rained out of the Ankhanan sky one after another, crashing into buildings
and streets and the river. The riot vans simply settled into themselves as
their electronics shut down: their screens went dark and their turrets froze in
place.
And
all the surviving soldiers in Old Town, Social Police and Ankhanan regular
alike, all the primals and the treetoppers, the stonebenders and ogrilloi and
trolls and ogres—every creature that still lived—stopped and stared in awe.
The
roof of the Courthouse peeled back like a rose opening toward the sun.
From
it burst a vertical shaft of pure white light as big around as the Colhari
Palace. It roared into the sky louder than thunder, expanding as air ionized to
incandescence along its path; the sheath of burning air concealed the shaft's
killing glare, saving the onlookers from flashburns and blindness.
The
Courthouse melted like a snow castle in an oven.
A few
seconds later, several hundred depleted-uranium canisters sprouting immobile
airfoils fell—in a still fairly precise pattern—across more than a hundred
square kilometers, hit the earth, and bounced.
15
Christ,
it stinks in here.
One
of my feet trails in a puddle that has the coffee-grounds texture of clotted
blood. I'd ask Raithe to move it, but why bother? I roll my head to the side
and look at him. He sits with his knees drawn up, hugging them and staring at
the wall.
Kosall
lies on the cold filthy floor between us.
Raithe
isn't the person I had in mind to spend my last few seconds with, but then
nobody ever promised me I'd have a choice. So I'll stay here, in this anonymous
hallway with its anonymous corpses. Here is good enough. Right here, next to
the sword. Because if I'm about to die, I want to do it beside my wife.
Or
something.
What
a thing this sword is. I can still feel it sliding in below my navel. I can
still feel the buzzing hum in my teeth when it severed my spine. Berne's sword.
Lamorak's sword.
I
wonder where Lamorak got it, all those years ago. I wonder if he ever felt the
weight of its future dragging at his arm. This sword killed my career; this
sword took Shanna's life. Kosall is all that's left of her.
All
that's left of all of us.
It
passed from Lamorak to Berne to Raithe to Deliann
To
me.
To
each of us, it's been something different, yet somehow all the same. Like what
Kris said about that whole Blade of Tyshalle bullshit: it's the knife that cuts
everything. It lies on the splintered hardwood between me and Raithe, and
that's where it should be. It's where we should be: on opposite sides of the
blade that cuts everything, waiting for the end of the world.
So
much pain
So
much hatred
Everything
between us cuts like this sword, but here we are anyway, together. Pretty much
all either one of us has left is each other. There is no one else I could share
this moment with. There is no one else with whom I could simply wait, and have
it be all right.
"It's
so quiet out there," I murmur. "Think it's over?"
Raithe
shrugs, and turns his face away.
Yeah.
I
look down at the sword. I'm afraid to touch it. I guess I knew what it meant
when the sword fell out of nothingness and landed right between us.
That
was Kris, saying good-bye.
First
time I saw him, in that goddamn mad-scientist mask of his, standing over me in
the weight room, I knew he was gonna be trouble. How astonished I felt, how bereft
when I came back to Earth after my freemod, and they told me Kris hadn't
made it
I
guess I went through my grieving then, because right now, all I can feel is
grateful. All I can feel is how lucky I have been, to know a man like him. One
Kris Hansen makes up for a shitload of Kollbergs, and Marc Vilos, a shitload of
Majesties and Lamoraks and all the other fucking scum that swim in the pool
where I live. I wish Shanna could have met him—really met him, when they were
both human. I think she would have liked him.
More
than that: She would have admired him.
I
think I'll just sit here for a while, and tell myself some of the stories I
know about him. I can tell myself about that cold courage of his, where he
could just stand there and do what had to be done.
I
guess that's how I say good-bye.
Tell
myself? Shit.
"Raithe?"
I say softly. "Let me tell you a story, huh?"
I6
The
body of Ma'elKoth rested upon the riverbank, arms enwrapping knees, as though
it were a boulder exposed by eonic erosion of the grassy meadow behind. A
Social Police officer approached uncertainly, unsure of his balance on this
alien ground.
"Stimulants
have been administered. She'll wake soon," the officer said. "But not
for long."
"I
know," the blind god replied with Ma'elKoth's voice.
"She's
very weak," the officer said. "The strain on her heart—I don't think
she'll live out the afternoon."
The
body continued to stare downriver. "Get in the limo."
The
officer retreated. The blind god caused Ma'elKoth's body to follow. It stood
outside, still staring toward distant Ankhana. The part of the blind god
that was Ma'elKoth could feel what had happened there through the senses of its
worshipers: only Beloved Children are permitted to serve in the Imperial
military. "Seal the door," it said.
Without
power, the officer had to manually drag the gullwing door down and latch it
into place.
The
part of the blind god that was Ma'elKoth now touched the power of His divine
Self: the incorporeal image to which His worshipers prayed. He conjoined that
power with his physical form and drew upon it to telekinetically anchor himself
to the bedrock beneath the meadow, and to bring him strength.
"Wait
for me in the car," he said. Then he picked up the limo and threw it in
the river.
The
limo—airtight, and constructed of modern titanium alloy—bobbed like a cork,
spinning slowly as it drifted downstream. He could have pushed the car into the
river with a mere shrug of his power, but some things, as Caine once notably
observed, cry out to be done by hand.
He
reached into the clay of the riverbank with his mind and drew forth a hundred
kilos. The knife of his mind carved it into shape: a medium-sized man with the
build of a boxer, somewhat tall for his weight, gone now perhaps a bit to
seed—a thickening of the waist, a suggestion of jowls along the jawline—but
with eyes penetrating and cold, and a slant of scar across a
twice-broken nose.
He
summoned his will, and he Spoke.
"Caine."
And
as he Spoke, he thought: Some things cry out to be done by hand.
I7
A
white thunderbolt blasts though my brain in the middle of telling Raithe about
Ballinger, and for one nerveless second I think the bomb's gone off after all.
But the shattering agony goes on and on in a ringing and a roaring that's
splitting my fucking head, and it gathers itself into a voice. A Voice. I know
that Voice.
It's
calling my name.
"Caine—what's
wong?" Raithe reaches for me, but I hold him off with one hand while the
other presses against my temple to keep my brain from exploding.
"I
hear you," I answer.
I
AM COMING FOR THE SWORD. I AM COMING FOR YOU, CAINE.
"I
knew you would."
AND
I, TOO, KNEW THAT YOU WOULD BE THERE TO MEET ME. "Yeah, you're a fucking genius."
Raithe
stares at me like I've gone completely shit-swallowing loopy.
I
CAN BRING MORE TROOPS. I CAN BRING MORE VEHICLES. I CAN BRING MORE BOMBS.
"Don't
bother. I give:'
Silence
inside my head.
"You
hear me, you bastard? I said I give. I surrender. Bring whatever you
want. I'll give myself up. The sword's yours."
Raithe's
expression transforms into understanding tinged with awe, and then gathers
dismay.
AND
IN RETURN?
"Faith,"
I tell him. "I want my daughter. Alive."
Silence.
"And
while we're talking deal, there are a lot of innocent people still on this
island, and in the city. Let them go, huh?"
WHY
SHOULD I?
"Because
that's the deal, motherfucker. Your word: I get Faith, and everybody else
walks. You get the sword, and you get me. Otherwise, I run. It'll take you a
long time to catch me."
Silence.
"The
longer you wait, the more expensive this is gonna get" VERY WELL. I
ACCEPT YOUR TERMS.
"Your
word on it."
YOU
HAVE IT
Then
the Presence is gone from the inside of my skull, and I sag back against the
damp stone.
Raithe
is no waster of words. "Ma'elKoth?"
"The
blind god. Same thing."
He
scowls doubtfully. "You think his word is good?"
I
pick up the sword, and it snarls to life in my hand. I squeeze its hilt until
its hum matches my memory: it buzzes in my teeth.
"Who
gives a shit?" I turn Kosall so that its blade catches sunlight along the
edge. "Mine isn't."
On
that day of prophecy fulfilled and transformed, the plain of Megiddo was become
a cobbled street, and the Fimbulwinter a firestorm, and all the echoes and shadows
of truth were gathered: Ahura-Mazda and Ahriman, Satan and Yahweh El Sabaoth,
Thor and Jorgmandr, the Prince of Chaos and the Ascended Ma'elKoth.
It
was the hour of battle for the dark angel and the god of dust and ashes. The
heavens would break, and the earth be torn asunder, and their pieces cast into
the winds of the abyss. On what new shape the universal shards might find when
they came once more together, every prophecy, tale, and legend disagreed.
And
all of them were wrong.
TWENTY-FIVE
He
comes out of the clouds, down from a line of thunderheads that advance from the
east: clouds that keep on rolling right into the teeth of this wind that blows
on the back of my neck.
First
comes a glossy black-and-chrome meteor—a Mercedes stretch, bigger than the
apartment where I grew up. It comes down with a rumbling growl like distant
turbines, but it's not turbines. It's thunder.
That
sonofabitch rolls thunder the way other guys clear their throats.
The
limo settles into place between the two dead riot vans down where Gods' and
Rogues' Ways intersect. Then the clouds swell until they swallow the sky, and a
darkness falls upon the ruins; a single rift parts to admit a golden shaft of
autumn sunshine.
Down
through that rift, riding that clean light, comes Ma'elKoth, glowing with
power: Superman in an Italian suit.
He
trails streamers of black Flow—he is the center of a tangle of pulsing
night-threads that twist into massive cables before they vanish in a direction
my eyes can't follow.
Some
of them I can follow, though. Some of the biggest cables connect to me.
My
own tangle makes a fantastical rats' nest around me, dense and interwoven,
impenetrably opaque, yet somehow it doesn't obstruct my vision, which I guess
makes sense because I'm not seeing it with my eyes.
He
touches down like a dancer, light and perfectly balanced, posing in his
sunlight halo. The warm taupe of his Armani suit complements the tumbled
char-blackened blocks of limestone that choke the street. Huh. He's let his
beard grow.
Yeah,
well, so have I.
His
eyes find me at this end of Gods' Way, and his electric stare surges through me
like an amphetamine bloom: waves of tingling start at the back of my neck and
jangle all the way out the ends of my fingers and toes.
He
smiles vividly.
He
reaches behind his head and unbinds his hair, shaking it free in sun-streaked
waves. He rotates his shoulders like a wrestler loosening up, and the clouds
part: above him, infinite blue opens like a flower. The clouds retreat in all
directions, flowing out from the city as they flee the center of all
things that are Ma'elKoth.
He's
brought his own kind of spring, drawing life from the city's fallow earth: the
ruins sprout cardinal-red, maroon and gold, scarlet-streaked saplings that
uncoil toward his solar presence: Social Police and Household Knights and good
old Ankhanan regular infantry digging themselves out of their burrows of
rubble, helping each other up, even the wounded, even the dying, so that all
can rise in respect, then kneel in reverence, at the arrival of God.
And
it's weird.
Weird
is the only word for it.
Not
in the debased and degraded sense of the mere peculiar. Weird in the old sense.
The Scottish sense. The Old English root.
Wyrd.
Because
somehow I have always been here.
I
have always sat in the rubble of the Financial Block, facing down the length of
Gods' Way over the carnage and ruin of Old Town, perched on a blast-folded
curve of assault-car hull with Kosall's cold steel across my lap. The rumpled
and torn titanium wreckage permanently ticks and pings as it eternally cools
under my ass. A few hundred yards to my left, there has always been a
smoldering gap where the Courthouse once stood, surrounded by a toothed
meteor-crater slag of melted buildings; even the millennial Cyclopean stone of
the Old Town wall sags and bows outward over the river, a thermal catenary like
the softened rim of a wax block-candle.
It's
from that direction that the shade of Kris Hansen whispers, in a voice
compounded of memories and grief.
I
have always been here because there is no past: all that exists of the past is
the web of Flow whose black knots are the structure of the present. I will
always be here because there is no future: everything that is about to happen
never will.
Now
is all there is.
There
is a folktale—I can't dignify it with the name prophecy, or even legend—that's
popular with the common mass of uneducated elKothans; true believers are all
pretty much of a type, I guess, no matter what they believe. They've been
telling each other for seven years that the Prince of Chaos will return from
beyond the world, to face the Ascended Ma'elKoth in a final battle.
On
Assumption Day.
I
used to get a chuckle out of that every time one of my ISP Actors heard it. I'd
shake my head and laugh. Those poor ignorant bastards—if they could only see me
and Tan'elKoth going out for a drink at Por L'Oeil. If they could only see me
in my wheelchair; if they could see Tan'elKoth at the Studio Curioseum, jazzing
the tourists with his fucking party tricks, two shows a day. Poor ignorant
bastards.
I say
that, and I can't tell if I'm talking about them, or us. Because I should have
known. Shit, I did know.
Dad
said it to my face: A powerful enough metaphor grows its own truth.
So
those poor ignorant bastards ended up closer to right than us smug cognoscentic
motherfuckers who used to laugh at them. This eternal now in the ruins of
Ankhana, facing the god across the wreckage of his city and the corpses of his
followers
Impossible.
And inevitable.
At
the same time.
I
touch one of the black threads, a simple one, almost straight: that's Deliann,
dropping Kosall into the shattered hallway betweeen me and Raithe. That thread
is tied to an infinite number of others, progressively more tangled: that's me,
screening Shanna to summon her back from Fancon. Here is Raithe, shaking hands
with Vinson Garrette, which is tied to me standing over Creele's body at the
Monastic Embassy, which is tied to me giving Shanna a battered black-market
copy of a Heinlein novel, which connects to Shanna standing over me in an
alley, staring at Toa-Phelathon's head lying on the shitstained cobbles, but
all these strings are tied to many others, and the others to others still, some
of which splice back in closed loops, some of which curl outward into the
invisible distance.
A lot
of them trail back to the Language Arts shitter, but even that one is a
tangle of Toothpick and Dad, and a kid named Nielson hitting me in the head
with a brick, and somebody knocking over a vial of HRVP two hundred years ago
and Abraham Lincoln and Nietzsche and Locke and Epikuros and Lao-Tzu
Sure
looks like destiny from here.
Try
and tell me that Dad could have had the faintest fucking clue I would end up
here when he wrote the passages on the Blind God in Tales of the First Folk Try
and tell me I should have seen this coming when I brained Toothpick with that
length of pipe, or when I proposed to Shanna, or when I lay chained on dark
stone in a puddle of my own shit and thought life back into my legs. Destiny is
bullshit.
Your
life only looks like fate when you see it in reverse.
The
universe is a structure of coincidence, Kris told me, and he was right. But
that doesn't make it random. It only feels that way. The structure is real:
strange attractors ordering arrays of quantum probabilities. I can see them.
I can
see the threads of black Flow that bloom and curl outward in time, connecting
every event to every other, each acting upon every other in a matrix of force
so complex that there is no such thing as a simple progression from one to the
next but even when the whole structure of reality is laid bare, all you can see
is the outline of the past.
The
future cannot be predicted. It can only be experienced.
Because
one single thread as infinitesimal as what some lab tech had for breakfast one
morning two hundred years ago exerts enough pressure to have bent all of Earth
toward the Plague Years and the Studio; because the Butterfly Effect of a
thirteen-year-old boy named Hari deciding that he wasn't gonna live in fear has
tied the history of two worlds into the knot that is today.
And
that, when you come right down to nuts and guts, is the most infinitely
fucked-up part of this infinite fucked-up now: They finally got me. In the
final minute of my life, I've become a Cainist.
Christ.
All
right. Enough.
I'm
ready for this to be over.
Mortality
is a gift: It's never a question of whether you'll die. It's just a question of
how.
2
Four
straight black lines crossed by a succession of shorter lines—like dead
centipedes with their legs smashed flat—pointed into the ring of light from the
darkness around it. They did not quite meet in the center, but it was clear
where they would, if extended: in that center-point was Ma'el-Koth's right eye.
Orbek
slipped the yellow hooked talon of his right index finger through the trigger
guard.
This
weapon was not designed for ogrilloi; his fingers were too thick to squeeze the
trigger properly, and to use the aiming tube mounted above the grip required
him to crick his neck in a very uncomfortable way: his right tusk came hard up
against the weapon's stock. But ogrilloi are gifted with weapons, and this was
not so different from a crossbow. Orbek could make the necessary adjustments.
Sunlight
shining through the blown-open roof above warmed his legs; he lay prone on
the rubble of what once had been priests' quarters, on an upper floor of a
temple to Urimash, a minor god of good fortune. The shell that had destroyed
the roof had taken a substantial chunk out of the third-floor facade but had
left some of the walls intact, providing stark shadow to conceal his head and
the barrel of his weapon.
It
had taken him a good long time to haul his ass up here, with his leg half
dead—goddamn fuck-me chunk of pavement came outa nowhere while he was diving
around a corner when everything blew up, slammed his thigh like a fuck-me
morningstar. It took most of the battle for him to crawl out of the street.
Everybody else—pretty much all the Folk, the prisoners, probably all the
fuck-me Monastics as well—they took off, scattering over the bridges and into
the caverns, getting the fuck out of here while they had the chance.
Orbek
had never been one for running.
Besides:
with this leg, he could barely walk.
Then
he'd found this weapon clutched in a dead human hand, pried it out, and decided
the best way he could be a real Black Knife was to find a quiet spot
where he could shoot some humans before they killed him.
That
shimmer in the air—fuck-me Ma'elKoth had a fuck-me Shield going. Orbek didn't
know how to tell how many shots he would have with this weapon, but he
calculated that even if he couldn't overload the Shield, he should be able to
knock the fuck-me bastard down.
That
counts for something.
His
talon tightened against the trigger, and the aiming tube went suddenly black,
and a soft human voice said, "Don't."
Orbek
froze—except for his left eyelid, which popped open; with that eye he could see
a dark-skinned hand covering the far end of the aiming tube.
"Fuck
me," he breathed.
He
lifted his head, and found himself staring into eyes the color of ice.
His
mouth worked soundlessly for a second or two before words could force their way
out. "How do you get up here? No, fuck that—how do you even find me?"
Raithe
said, "I have a message from Caine
3
Ma'elKoth,
though—he's been waiting for this moment for a long, long time, and he intends
to savor it.
He
walks toward me, between the broken rows of kneeling Household Knights and
Social Police and Ankhanan infantry, swinging his ass, as ar rogantly
loose-jointed as a tiger. Air shimmers around him: a Shield. He knows we
captured some rifles and shit, and he doesn't want a sniper to ruin his party.
He
strolls along about a third of Gods' Way; then he stops and opens his arms as
if to say Behold!
"You
said I would never see My city again, Caine," he says with a smile a lot
warmer than the sun overhead. "Yet here I am."
He
speaks in a casual, human tone, which I can hear perfectly from hundreds of
yards away. "No answer? Nothing to say, after all this time, old
friend?"
I
have a fucking answer for him.
In my
mind, I create an image of a white stream of power coming out of the middle of
my guts and vanishing into Kosall's hilt. A second or two later I can see it,
in mindview: twisting and sparking, coruscating, an electric gap-spark thicker
than my wrist: a spark that is the path of all the power from every single
black thread that is tied to my life. It hums in my subconscious as I anchor
it, good and tight, to Kosall.
Not
to Shanna, not to Pallas, not to the goddess, not to the wife I have loved and
the woman who bore the child I call my daughter, not to the woman I watched die
below Khryl's Saddle. I can look at her image in my heart, but I had better
keep it out of mindview, or I'll give the fucking game away.
He eyes
me closely, cycling through levels of mindview, looking for some kind of Flow
current—looking to see what kind of power I might be pulling from the river.
But
I'm not pulling. I'm feeding.
"Ah,
David, My David," he says, shaking his head in what looks like honest
remorse. "Where is thy sling?"
The
white gap-spark sizzles. He can't see it.
This
might work.
"I
am not a vengeful god, Caine. And I know that you have not been brought to bay:
that you have chosen to surrender, when you could flee. I would be remiss, not
to reply in kind. Thus, I have brought gifts."
His
only visible gesture is a slight widening of his smile. Far behind him, the
door of the limo swings up: a crocodile jaw opening a mouth of shaded darkness.
In that rectangular shadow I can just make out an odd, irregularly globular
particolored shape. Ma'elKoth smiles indulgently, and the shape materializes
out of sunbeams and dust motes right in front of me, and I still can't make my
eyes see what it really is
My
brain unties an invisible knot, and that lumpy black-and-white blob of
Ma'elKoth's Fantasy suddenly resolves into a tiny crumple of tragedy. It's
Faith: wrapped in a stained and filthy hospital gown, strapped in a wheelchair.
Strapped
in my wheelchair.
So
real
If I
put out my hand, would I feel her hair? Could I bend close for a kiss, and
catch the scent of her skin? If I cry over this Fantasy, will she feel my
tears?
Faith
Christ—how
can I
Watching
Shanna die was only a warm-up.
"A
small enough return, I suppose," Ma'elKoth says. "But one, I think,
that you may value as much as I value your surrender. I give you: your
family—"
His
hand pauses in midgesture, as though to rest a moment on Faith's matted hair,
and I don't understand why the rolling boil in my brain doesn't burst my skull,
and then he nods and tilts his palm toward Rover.
"—and
a place to sit."
4
Raithe
limped out from the shadow of a half-crumbled wall, squinting against the harsh
sun-glare. The silence was infinite as the sky: the only sound within the
ruined city was the slow scrape-crunch of his footsteps. He left a trail of
blood, swirling with black oil. The Artans—the Social Police—turned to stare,
as he slowly, painfully scraped along the middle of Rogues' Way, to the
intersection with Gods' Way.
Far
down that broad avenue, he could see the back of the man he had once worshiped.
Beyond, at the opposite end of the street, his personal demon sat on a crumple
of steel. The air was so clear Raithe could read the look on his face. He
nodded slightly.
Caine
nodded back.
Raithe
turned toward the powerless vehicle that sat, lifeless, between the pair of
equally dead riot vans. Artan helmets tracked him. Ankhanan soldiers watched
him silently, fingering their weapons.
Raithe
smiled to himself. He wondered if this was how Caine had felt, as he paced
across the sand in the arena at Victory Stadium. He wondered if Caine had felt
this strong, this happy.
This
free.
Back
in the apothecary shop on Crooked Way, Raithe had risen to leave while
Caine was still using Kosall to carve away his shackles, one careful stroke at
a time. Raithe had looked at the dead woman nearby in the hallway, remembering:
He had been in this shop many times, first as a child, later as a Courthouse
page, then as a novice at the embassy. He had known of this old couple for as
long as he could remember; he recalled now that they had a son, somewhere, but
that was the only detail he could summon. They had been the old apothecary and
his wife. He could not recall their names.
His head
had swum, and he'd sagged against the wall, gasping. Caine had looked up from
his cutting. "You better sit down again."
"No,"
Raithe had said, shaking his head, dizzy. "No. Just ... catch my
breath—"
"You're
gonna catch a bad case of dead, you don't take it easy."
"No.
This is where our paths diverge, Caine. I don't imagine I'll be seeing you
again."
"Raithe—"
"I
would like to—" He'd stopped himself, shaken his head, started again.
"If I could find some way, without being disloyal to the memory of my parents,
and to the memory of Master Creele—I would ... I wish I could say I'm sorry. I
wish I could say thanks. But I can't."
"I
cannot undo the damage I have done."
"None
of us can."
To
that, Raithe had only nodded and turned once more to leave.
Caine
had caught his clean arm. "I'm not done with you, kid." When Raithe
went to yank free, Caine had wrapped his wrist with the chain from his shackle,
holding him fast.
"Let
me go—" He had swung his left hand toward Caine to threaten him with the
black oil.
Caine
had snorted at him. "Go ahead. You just got done saving my life, now
you're gonna kill me? Sure."
"What
do you want?"
"We'll
probably both be dead in a few minutes, anyway," Caine had said. "But
if you're not, I'm gonna need you."
"Need
me for what?" Raithe had said, surprised at the strange sound of his own
voice: he'd been trying for scorn, but a little bit of hope had worked its way
in, instead.
"There's
a little girl. A little six-year-old girl with golden hair, who used to smile a
lot. She likes pretty clothes, and nursery rhymes, and going to school with the
big kids—"
"You're
talking about Faith."
"Yeah,
Ma'elKoth's bringing her. I need you to take her away. Find someone to look
after her." He had shrugged and looked away, his mouth taking on a bitter
twist. "Save her."
"Me?
Save your daughter?". Raithe had been sure he must have misunderstood.
"Where will you be?"
Caine
had lifted Kosall and sighted along its shimmering blade. "I'll be
dead." He let the chain slip free from around Raithe's wrist, releasing
him. "That's why I need you."
"I
am no longer subject to your orders, Caine—"
"Yeah.
That's why it's not an order. I'm asking."
Raithe
had only been able to shake his head in wonder. "And why would I do this
for you?"
"You
won't be doing it for me. You'll be doing it for her. You know what they've
done to her. You know what they'll keep doing. You'll be doing it because if
you don't, you'll have to live with the memory of letting an innocent little
girl be raped to death."
Raithe's
breath had come hot and harsh. He had leaned against the wall once more,
gasping, his hand leaving a splotch of black oil smearing down the paint.
"But why me?" he'd asked. "I'm the one who put her there, as
much as anyone else. I killed her mother. How can you entrust your
daughter's life to me?"
Caine's
stare had been level, steady and without fear. "Who else is there?"
Who
else is there? Raithe thought as he
limped toward the open hatchway of the vehicle. In the shade of the hatch door,
the child was strapped in a wheeled chair. Beside it, two burly Artans in
helmets polished like mirrors restrained a screaming, sobbing old woman with
short-cut hair the color of steel. She thrashed in their grip, begging and
threatening in a language Raithe could not understand.
Deeper
within the vehicle, almost lost within the shadows, was a creature Raithe
recognized; a skeletal, eroded caricature of famine. He had felt this creature
within his heart. Their eyes met, and they knew each other.
In
the creature's eye was hunger. In Raithe's, only ice.
One
of the mirror-masked Artans silently showed Raithe how to unlock the chair's
wheels. He took it by the handles at the top of the seatback, then turned and
pushed Caine's daughter out into the sunlight.
5
I watch
them go: Raithe, wheeling her up Rogues' Way, pauses at the last moment before
he disappears around the corner of the temple to Shentralle the Messenger,
meets my eye one last time, and nods good-bye.
He
and my daughter vanish from my sight.
I
wish I could have said good-bye to Faith.
"So,
you have your daughter, and you have the lives of your followers. Yet these are
not the greatest of My gifts to you," Ma'elKoth booms expansively. He
extends an open hand in my direction. "The greatest gift I give is this:
that I buy your surrender. That I allow you to come to Me with your
dignity as well as your life. This is less a surrender than it is a contract:
value given for value received. Thus do I demonstrate to all history the love I
bear you, Caine; thus shall it be written in every—"
I
send a little trickle of black Flow threading through my bypass, and stand up.
He
pauses, and his eyes narrow.
"You've
learned a new trick," he murmurs appreciatively. "Come, then: Let us
meet as men, standing face-to-face, for the surrender of the sword. I applaud
your sense of ceremony: Grant and Lee at Appomattox Courthouse, rather than
Brutus at the feet of Ant—"
I
point Kosall at him. "You talk too fucking much."
He
stops, making a face like he tastes something sour; he hates interruptions when
he's being clever.
I
show him my teeth. "You and me, we both know what's going on here, and it
has nothing to do with surrender."
His
smile settles in, fading from that big theatrical grin to a half curve of
honest satisfaction; his feet settle in, spreading to a wider, stronger stance
as he squares up to me; his shoulders settle in, dropping half an inch and
seeming to spread and swell like boulders under his suit.
The
Fantasy image of Faith strapped in Rover's seat dissolves back into a swirl of
dust sparkles in the sun.
He
says, "Yes."
"So
shut the fuck up. Let's just do it."
He
opens his hands. "Come on, then."
"Yeah."
6
Raithe
pushed the girl's chair swiftly into the first alley north of Gods' Way and
then began to jog, bouncing her along as fast as he dared on the uneven
surface. The girl lolled bonelessly, semiconscious: Though he weakened swiftly,
he could keep moving by leaning on the chair himself for support, and they
didn't have far to go.
The
shattered building sagged in the sunlight; its drooping second floor provided
deep shade where Orbek waited with the two primals, the healers from Alien
Games. Raithe pushed the chair up to them, stumbling, gasping for breath.
"Did
they . . . agree?" he rasped at Orbek. The primals had not trusted him at
all, naturally, and for good reason, given the history between the First Folk
and the Monasteries; he had barely managed to convince them to wait and speak
with Orbek. "Will they help? Did they send—"
"Like
you say, friar," Orbek said, grinning around his tusks. Friar came
out like a curse.
Raithe
ignored it. "And the net?"
Orbek
nodded. "On its way."
The
primal healers crouched near Faith, examining her without touching her, their
faces shining with the blank, impersonal pain that a man might show when he
finds a dying puppy.
"There's
no time," Raithe said, sagging. Only the chair kept him upright.
"It's happening now—right now. It's happening."
"Yeah."
Orbek's grin widened, and he twitched a tusk to point along the alley: four
treetoppers flew toward them swift as sparrows, sharing the burden of one of
Kierendal's silver antimagick nets. "It sure as fuck-me is."
7
We
face each other in the infinite now.
Down
the long street lined with people, squinting against the noonday sun.
We
both know how this is supposed to play out. Our parts have been carved in
legend's stone for centuries. The gunfighters. The samurai. Zorro and the
Governor. Robin Hood and Sir Guy de Guisborne.
No:
more accurately, Leonidas at Thermopylae.
Roland
at Roncesvalles.
Because
Ma'elKoth is the face of ten billion people come to crush me, and here I stand,
at the head of my Companions: Raithe; Faith; Shanna and Pallas Ril and the
goddess; Hari and all the men I have ever been. They put me here, to be their
champion.
Deliann
and Kris both stand behind one shoulder.
Dad
stands behind the other.
They
made me possible.
Relaxed
and ready, Ma'elKoth waits for me to start the Walk: the long slow measuring
stroll where we both psych ourselves into the killing zone. He knows there has
to be a Walk; he knows I have a profound respect for tradition.
He's
expecting a trick: he's waiting for me to commit before he makes his move. I
caught him off guard last time, and he won't make that mistake again. From a
hundred yards away, I can only hit him with magick or a gun, and his Shield can
handle either.
A
shimmer starts in the nerves of my hand that holds Kosall, and with it an
aching sense of loss creeps through my veins. Ma'elKoth's eyes widen, then
narrow, and he nods, offering me an appreciative smile.
"What
was it?" he asks casually, as though his interest is entirely academic.
"How have you broken our link? Did you put one of those silver nets of
yours on Faith? Like the one you used on me last time?"
I
don't answer, but I don't have to.
Power
flares around him.
Now
Pallas and I, together, have all the might of the river. Ma'elKoth has all the
power of millions more worshipers than he had last time, plus whatever it is
the blind god pumps into him.
Head
to head, him against me
We
can tear the planet in half.
Armageddon.
Ragnarok: the Twilight of the Gods.
He's
looking forward to it.
He
was always into that Wagnerian shit.
He's
spent seven years studying me. Studying Pallas. He's had plenty of time to
cycle that superhuman intelligence of his through every possible combination of
her powers, my skills, our tactics. I know he's watching in mindview, waiting
for any hint of what kind of power I'm going to draw and what I might want to
do with it. I can't possibly take him by surprise.
So I
don't even try.
I
lift Kosall to vertical, turning the flat of the blade toward him in a fencer's
salute. He replies with an ironic bow. "I have always known we would come
to this, Caine. We are natural enemies, you and I; this is why I have loved you
so."
Instead
of sweeping the blade down to my right—the traditional acknowledgment of the
returned salute—I lift it, swiftly but without haste, above my head.
There
is a principle in some of the Japanese fighting arts that translates as appropriate
speed. It's one of the most difficult elements to master. To move with
appropriate speed is to act slowly enough that you don't trigger your
opponent's defensive reflexes, so that he doesn't feel like he's being
attacked: so that he doesn't flinch, or even feel threatened. We are all
conditioned by a bazillion years of Darwinian heredity to interpret sudden
movement as a possible threat. On the flip side, you can't give him time to
think Hey wait—if that hand gets any closer he could hurt me with it. It's
a delicate balance; appropriate speed varies according to the situation, and to
the psychology of your opponent.
Screwing
it up is a short trip to the land of the seriously dead.
So
while he's still a hundred yards away, watching that sword shine in the
sunlight over my head, still talking, still saying, "I have always been
fortunate in my—" I twist the black Flow that I've been feeding into the
sword in a way that will make my right foot swing forward in one long step.
Which
is the signal to the ghost of my dead wife in the sword to use the energy I've
been channeling into it to warp space in that seven-league-boots way of hers,
and bring the rubble where I stand and the cobbles in front of Ma'elKoth within
one step of each other so that the foot I picked up from Nobles' Way comes down
a little less than a meter from Ma'elKoth's Gucci Imperiales, and the sword I
had lifted over my head comes down at his collarbone, edge striking his Shield
as my weight falls forward.
Ma'elKoth
finishes blankly, "—enemies—" as we both discover that, in fact, its
edge powered by black Flow, Kosall can indeed cut through anything, including
Shields.
Including
gods in Armani suits.
8
Ma'elKoth's
eyes go wide and his mouth works silently, and I let my weight carry the stroke
all the way down till the blade comes free somewhere around his hip bone.
I
stagger—goddamn bypass, goddamn legs—but manage to catch my balance and
step back. I want to watch this part.
In a
kind of Alpine-avalanche ponderously majestic natural slow mo tion, his
head and his right arm and about half his torso slide off the other half down a
fountaining scarlet slope. His legs stand there for a second or two, empty
bowels and quivering organs half unrecognizable from this high-side view, and
y'know what?
He
doesn't stink.
The
smell is like ground beef, fresh from your local butcher. I never realized:
Since he hasn't eaten for something like fifteen years, I have misjudged him
ever since we first met.
He's
not full of shit after all.
I
have maybe two more seconds before Soapy shoots my ass off. I make good use of
those seconds. I lift Kosall again, but this time let the blade swing down,
hanging vertically below my clasped hands upon its hilt.
Ma'elKoth
looks up at me. His mouth makes empty popping noises; he's left most of his
lungs in his other half
At
the speed of thought in the permanent now, I bring an image of Shanna to the
front of my mind—a vision of Pallas Ril, a ghost-shadow of the goddess shining
and strong upon a field of night. The dash of sunlight off a rippling stream
comes from Her eyes, and the hand She extends to me is the color of a peach in
leaf shade. Is it time? She murmurs within my heart.
I
reply, Take my hand.
Her
ghost hand touches mine, and our flesh flows together; Her warm summer skin
shades sun dew into my Donjon-bleached arm, and my death-sealed heart draws Her
season down to skeletal autumn. We mingle and swirl, surface tension and
turbulence, touching at every geometrically infinite point but forever apart.
Because
everyone lives together, and everyone dies alone.
In
that single second, when We join in a union of which Our marriage had been only
a pale time-reversed ripple of echo, We regard Ourselves and say
Oh.
I understand, now.
One
instant of searing melancholy
If
only I could have been the man you needed me to be.
If
only I could have accepted the man you are.
—then
the river blossoms inside me, from the trickling sewage runoff at Khryl's
Saddle to the mighty fan of half-salt flow where We join the ocean beyond the
Teranese Delta‑
-and
my heart cracks because my only wish is that I could stay here with them
forever, but as infinite as now might be its end still comes when Shanna says
Good-bye,
Hari.
—and
I cannot even reply.
Instead,
I give farewell to the man trapped within the dying god at my feet.
"Happy
Assumption Day, fucker."
Then
I fall to one knee and let my weight drive Kosall's rune-painted blade through
his forehead into his brain.
Right
between the eyes.
And
power blasts back up through the blade, through my fists, my arms, my
shoulders—it hits my heart, slams up my neck, and blows away the world.
A
tale is told of twin boys born to different mothers.
One
is a dark angel of slaughter and destruction, a death's-head moth arising from
mortal cocoon; one is a crooked knight of flame, a heart of ashes thunderstruck
and smoldering.
They
each live without ever knowing that they are brothers. They each die fighting
the blind god.
They
are tethered by moon threads, woven of love and hate, the stronger for their
invisibility: tied to the god who had been a man and to the dark angel's spawn,
to the dragoness and to the child of the river, to the dead goddess and to each
other.
Where
these threads spin a single weave, they knit the ravell'd fate of worlds.
TWENTY-SIX
I
don't remember being dead.
I
remember some of the dreams that flitted in and out of my slowly reassembling
mind as I woke, though, and what I remember of them seems to be about drowning,
or being strangled by hands of inhuman strength, or having my head stuck inside
a plastic bag. Trying to scream, but without enough breath to give sound to my
voice
Perhaps
that should be taken as a hopeful sign about the afterlife. It must be lovely,
if I was so reluctant to leave.
I
suppose I'll never know.
I'd
like to keep this roughly chronological, if I can. It's not easy; there are
connections here more subtle than simple sequence. And I'm not always sure in
what order everything happened, and I'm not sure it's always important.
Somebody wrote once that the direction of time is irrelevant to physics. I'm
sure this half-remembered physicist would be pleased to know that my story only
makes sense when it's told backwards.
That
seems much more profound when you have a fever.
I
sometimes catch myself thinking that life is a fever: that the universe fell
ill two or three billion years ago, and life in all its fantastic improbability
is the universe's fever dream. That the harsh intractability of the inanimate
is the immune system of reality, attempting to cure it of life. That when life
is extinguished, the universe will awaken, yawn and stretch, and shake its
metaphoric head at its bizarre imagination, to have produced such an unlikely
dream.
But I
get over it when I cheer up.
It's
not always easy to distinguish between existentialism and a bad mood.
One
might suppose that I would now be immune to melancholy, but that is not so; I
seem to be immune only to senescence, and to death. It's better thus—to be eternally
happy would deprive me of the bulk of human experience. And, for all else, I am
still human.
More
or less.
But
to give the story a moral before I recount its events will rob the moral of
meaning. Meaning is the goal. I sometimes think the greatest danger of
immortality is the infinite leisure to digress.
So:
I
could write page after page on the process of waking up that very first time in
my new life. I could string together fading details of dreams with the
incredibly soft warmth of the wool-felt blankets and the finewoven linen of the
sheets, and shuffle the bracing sting of sunlight through closed eyelids with
the faintly animal musk of the goosedown that filled the feather bed on which I
lay. It's a powerful urge to recount these things, because each individual
sensation of living has become indescribably precious to me; though each breath
is as sweet as the last, there comes always something wistful, because I cannot
forget that this breath is a single thing, as discrete as I am, and no matter
how wonderful the next will be, this will never come again.
I was
lucky, though: the antidote for such wistfulness was waiting for me beside my
bed, grinning like a wolf.
When
I opened my eyes, he said, "Hey."
I
smiled, and thus discovered I had lips; I squeezed his hand, and thus
discovered I had arms. A moment later, I found my voice. "I'm not dead,
then?"
"Not
anymore."
"Oh,
that's good," I said with a feeble chuckle.
"What's
funny?"
"Well—finding
you here, I was pretty sure this can't be heaven."
His
wolf-grin widened: his substitute for a laugh. "It's close enough for
me."
I
thought about that for a while, while I watched dust motes drift through
slanting sunbeams. The window was enormous, nearly the size of the titanic
eight-poster bed. Lamps of gleaming brass topped each of the posts—which were
ornately carved from some luminous stone like translucent rose marble, and
slowly the name for this stone surfaced inside my head: thierril.
That
was when I understood that we were on Overworld.
"Caine?"
"Yeah?"
"I
was wrong," I said. "This is close enough to heaven for me,
too." Closer than I deserve, I finished silently.
He
heaved himself to his feet and walked to the window, his gait
only slightly unsteady. The window faced west, and the afternoon sun
painted him with scarlet and gold.
"I'm
glad you feel that way, Kris," he said, "because this is as close as
you're ever gonna get"
"I
don't understand."
He
stared beyond the sunset. "Let me tell you a story."
2
It
really was the end of the world.
In
less than an eyeblink, the world as it had known itself had been destroyed and
replaced with a new world, a different world, so like unto its predecessor that
a man might fool himself into believing the two were one. The time of
nonexistence that separated the two was itself nonexistent; no one saw or heard
or even felt the interval, but everyone knew.
Things
were different, now.
I
understood well enough what had happened, as Caine explained it, at the instant
when the world became new: The spell painted in runes upon Kosall's blade had
captured Ma'elKoth's pattern of consciousness even as it had that of the
goddess—but because the goddess had, in that moment, been touching the river's
Song through Hari, the Ma'elKoth-pattern had been channeled through them both.
That pattern, that shade, that consciousness would have dispersed like smoke
before a wind, sunk back within the Song, save for the idea of the Ascended
Ma'elKoth: the image to which millions of Beloved Children pray every day: the
Power they endow with the energy of their devotion. That Power was so nearly
coresonant with the pattern of Ma'elKoth that harmonic entrainment caused them
to merge in an instant—and through Hari and the goddess, they touched the Song
of Chambaraya.
At
that moment, He became both a god of humanity, and a limb of the Worldmind: a
power which had no precedent in all the aeonic history of Home. Given that
place to stand, He moved the world.
He
became the world.
But
not the world that the Blind God had desired.
The
Blind God's grip upon Ma'elKoth was physical: a function of the physical
thoughtmitter implanted within Ma'elKoth's physical skull—left behind in
Ma'elKoth's physical corpse. And though in one sense Ma'elKoth is as much an
agglomerate entity as is the Blind God, in a greater sense He has always been
an individual; that individual is, above all else, an artist, and He could not
bear to destroy a thing of beauty.
With
the conjoined power of his human worshipers and Chambaraya, he could pattern
himself even to the matrix of the Worldmind. He flowed outward from the river,
and sent His will into the great symphony that is T'nnalldion—Home—itself.
His
stroke had been elegant: He had taken the transfer shield—the patterning of
force that blocked the Winston Transfer from Ankhana—and extended it over the
world entire. In that fraction of a second, every transmission from every Actor
on Overworld had ceased.
In
the next fraction of a second, He had sung a new note in the Song of Home.
Neither Caine nor I have a very clear way to describe its effect. It was, one
might say, a minor alteration of local physics.
He
made the Blind God improbable.
Extremely
improbable: down to the quantum level.
The
small segment of the Blind God that had stretched to Overworld disintegrated,
and its remnants burst into a scattering flight of night-black shards. The rest
recoiled like a knife-cut worm, back to its nest, to lick its wound and brood.
The
Social Police in Ankhana felt the difference as a sudden surge of panic, real
panic, the ancient panic: the unreasoning terror of being lost and lone in the
deep forest of night, in the grip of its unhuman god. Many screamed; all
twisted and staggered; most ran; and some fired their weapons into the air, or
at each other.
Some
turned their weapons upon Caine, where he knelt on Gods' Way; some upon the
limousine; some upon any targets they could find. All who did so died before
they could squeeze their triggers.
Some
of the Social Police still live. I have not yet decided what to do with them.
For
now, they are in the Pit.
I wondered
at the irony of it, when Caine had finished describing the end of the world:
"You made him a god. You transfigured him, and he ascended. On Assumption
Day."
"Yeah."
"You
took the fiction of Caine and Ma'elKoth, and made it truth."
"Fiction," Caine said, "is a slippery concept."
"You
defeated your enemy by granting his fondest wish."
He
shrugged. "I'm not sure enemy is the right word," he sighed.
"Our relationship is . . . complicated."
"But
I don't understand," I said. "How did I get here? Why am I alive?
What does all this have to do with me?"
His
smile faded then, and he looked down at his hands. He laced his fingers
together and cracked his knuckles in swift succession. "That's a different
story," he said.
3
His
new story began some few days after the end of the world: after the dead had
been collected, in their hundreds and their thousands, after graves had been
dug and pyres lit. It began at the prow of Old Town: a jumble of rock that once
had been Six Tower, overlooking a blunt spit of river sand. Caine stood upon
the sand, his daughter riding his hip, while from the broken rocks above
watched an honor guard comprising the whole of the surviving Household Knights.
But I
will not transcribe the story he told; the story I care most about is my own.
His gift to me, of the device he calls the Caine Mirror, later let me see for
myself the events that he then described. Though I saw them through his eyes,
what's important, to me, is how I tell the story.
It
begins:
One
arm about Faith's shoulders. Her hands locked around his neck and her forehead
tucked into the hollow beneath his jaw. Faith in the white-tasseled shawl of
Ankhanan mourning; Caine in a tunic and pants of new black leather, belted with
a thin cord, and low soft boots.
He
held the blade of Kosall so that it reflected the rising sun, while he said
good-bye to his wife.
I
will not recount what passed between the three of them there. The device—which
sits on my desk as I write this—shows me less than all, but more than I can
bear to know. I will say only that their good-byes were private, and brief. The
details are Caine's story to tell, if he chooses; any who might wish to know
them will have to ask him.
I
will say this: Pallas Ril chose to pass on.
She
could not be both goddess and woman; though she could build a mortal body for
herself once more, she could not make herself wholly woman. To have been a god
is to be forever less than human, but to be wholly goddess was within her
grasp.
And
she had no better way to keep her family safe.
When
their good-byes were done, Caine drove Kosall into the stone before him until
the hilt alone projected.
"Faith,
honey, get down for a minute," he said, lowering her to the sand. She
dutifully found her feet and took a step away from him. He said, murmuring as
though to himself, "Let's do it."
And
the power to which he spoke answered him with fire.
He
extended his hands, and from his palms burst flame like the surface of
the sun; all had to shield their faces, and even Caine was forced to close his
eyes. When the flames died, the great stone block had been reduced to a
pool of slag, and Kosall was no more.
Pallas
Ril had gone to join the river forever.
That
was her happy ending.
The
only music that marked her passing was the plash of the Great Chambaygen, the
chatter of a pair of foraging squirrels, and the scream of a lone eagle, far,
far above.
After
a moment, Caine looked down at Faith. "You ready?" She nodded
solemnly.
He
held out his arm to help her back up onto his hip, but instead she took his
hand. "I'm big enough to walk," she said.
"Yeah,"
he agreed, slowly and with some reluctance. "Yeah, I guess you are."
As
the two of them helped each other negotiate the tumble of rock, a dry voice
spoke within Caine's mind. Touching.
"Have
some respect," he muttered.
Ironic:
that the man least likely to show respect is the first to ask for it. "Shut the fuck up."
Faith
blinked up at him owlishly. "Are you talking to God again?" Caine
said, "Yeah."
She
nodded, solemnly understanding. "God can be a mean bastard sometimes."
"You
got that right."
4
They
threaded between the ranks of Household Knights, who stood at attention with
weapons at port arms and standards lowered. Alone at the end of the ranks,
shivering despite being half buried in an enormous raccoon coat, stood Avery
Shanks.
Caine
and Faith stopped before her.
She
matched his level stare.
"Faith?"
Caine said, releasing her hand and placing his own on the middle of her back.
"Go with Grandmaman back to the palace."
Faith's
eyes had the otherworldly half emptiness of the river's Song within her head.
"All right." She held him with her gaze. "I love you,
Daddy."
"I
love you too, honey. I just—I have some things I have to do by myself. I'll be there
in time for supper."
"Promise?"
"Promise,"
he replied, and the memory of his last promise to her, and how badly he had
failed it, ripped him like fishhooks dragged across his heart.
Reluctantly,
Faith joined her grandmother and took her hand. Caine once again met Shanks'
gaze. "Take care of her."
She
snorted. "Better than you ever did," she said. "Better than you
ever will."
As he
watched them walk away, hand in hand, picking along the winding pathways that
had been cleared through the debris-choked streets, he murmured, "I have
always been fortunate in my enemies."
Mm,
flattery, the voice within him
hummed dryly.
Caine
opened his mouth as though he might reply, but instead he grimaced and shook
his head in silence. He swung his legs into motion, climbing over a crumbled
wall, heading toward Rogues' Way, toward Fools' Bridge. When he told me this
story, he said that he simply needed to move, that he wanted to get off
the island for a little while; the Caine Mirror confirms this, but I think it
is not the whole of the truth. I believe he wanted to go into the Warrens to
see what was left of his old neighborhood.
To
see what was left of himself.
5
The
gap in Fools' Bridge where the timbers of the bascule had burned away was
spanned by temporary planking supported by ropes of knotted hemp. On that
morning, workers trundled barrows of brick and salvaged limestone blocks
across, and so Caine took the catwalk on the upstream side: a pair of taut
ropes, one above the other. He did not pause over the river—he kept moving,
sliding one foot ahead of the other along the lower rope while he slid hands
along the upper—but his wife was much on his mind as the water rolled beneath
him. He thought, so his Soliloquy claims, of what she had shown him, in that
infinite instant when he had joined with the river: how the river was
everything within its bound, and everything within its bound was the river.
He
thought of so many men and women and children on Earth, for whom a river is a
natural toilet, suitable only for flushing away their waste. In a distant,
abstract, impersonal way, he felt sorry for them. But not too sorry. If they
wanted their world to be different, they could change it.
It
wasn't his problem, not anymore.
Just
so. But this begs the question: What, then, is your problem?
Caine
left the bridge and wandered at length upon the north bank of the river.
From the Warrens to the ruins of Alientown and back again, the streets were
filled with people clearing away debris, separating what could be salvaged and
used again from what would be suitable only for landfill. Nearly all the
corpses had been cleared away and burned days before, and there was a certain
grim cheerfulness among the townsfolk, a camaraderie in adversity, that bespoke
their shared determination to rebuild their home.
Much
of the rebuilt Ankhana will be constructed of timber from the goddess'
unnatural spring: young and sap-filled, many of the tree trunks had burned only
on the surface, where the oil had oozed through their bark. Their hearts are
sound, and will form the skeleton of the city that will rise from this waste of
ash and rubble.
Everywhere
Caine went, he was greeted with nods of recognition. It was a strange feeling:
Everyone knew who he was, and no one feared him. The greetings he got were
instead respectful, and that respect was tinged with awe. Most of the citizens
of Ankhana were Beloved Children of Ma'elKoth, and each of these had awakened
to the new world with an eldritch knowledge in their hearts of what Caine had
done for them, and for their world.
Even
more strange for him, I think, was to walk, and walk, and continue to walk with
no particular place to go; to return nodded greetings in a friendly way, to
listen to the breeze and the conversations, smell the old char on the wind and
feel the crunch of gravel beneath his boots
And
find nothing he had to do.
I
cannot be certain—the device records no commentary-but I believe he took some
comfort from this. These few days were the closest he had ever come to a
respite from the struggles of his permanent war. In all his life as Caine,
there had always been someone he had to kill, or some-one who sought to kill
him; always treasure to be searched out, or adventure to be pursued; there had
always been the pressure to keep his audience entertained.
Now
he was the audience, and he found that the path of a cloud across an autumn sky
had an unexpectedly great entertainment value of its own. Whenever his
wandering turned him back toward the Warrens, he found himself staring at the
vast hulk of the Brass Stadium. The lone structure of stone in all the Warrens,
it towered above the remnants of burnt-out buildings around. In years before,
Caine had been an honorary Baron of the Subjects of Cant, the Warrengang that had
used the abandoned stadium as their headquarters. In those years, the Subjects
had been his family. He had left his family on Earth—his father—for the family
of the Monasteries; he had left the Monasteries for the Subjects of Cant;
and he had left them in turn to make his own family with Pallas Ril
But
once again, the device records no commentary. And perhaps I am not telling his
story here, so much as I am my own.
Sometimes
I have difficulty telling the two apart.
I can
say for certain that he spent much time staring at the Brass Stadium, and twice
made halfhearted attempts to pry off the boards nailed across the street
entrances as though to slip inside, and twice changed his mind. Here I do have
his words, in Soliloquy: I'm breaking into the wrong stadium.
With
that, he turned once more to the west, walking with purpose now, following the
dockside to Knights' Bridge. On the Old Town side, he passed the crater where
the Courthouse once stood with barely a glance.
I
suppose Caine and justice have always had little to do with each other.
For
me, though—my heart clenches whenever I review this part of the recording. That
crater, that slag-crusted gap in the city, is a scene of personal destruction:
I did that.
I
died there, doing that.
It's
not easy to look at.
I've
had, as of this writing, some few weeks to brood on the experience of being
dead. It's not easy to think about.
Caine
had seven years.
The
recording admits only of a stew of emotions, cycling and shifting and mixing
until all that is definite is their overwhelming power; I will not venture a
guess as to what Caine might have been thinking as he crossed Kings' Bridge and
saw, for the first time with his own eyes, the Cathedral of the Assumption.
6
He'd
seen it hundreds of times, if not thousands, through the eyes of his
Studio's Actors, but to be there in the flesh makes it immediate in a way that
a simichair can't duplicate. It towers overhead, looming until it eclipses half
the sky: a titanic arc of snow-white marble, the tallest structure in Ankhana,
overtopping even the surviving spire of the Colhari Palace. There are no
straight lines or hard angles here; the facade curves away in an eye-fooling
trick of perspective, to seem even larger than it is, its true dimensions unguessable.
Its appearance dwarfs even its reality, and it is fiercely blank: no decoration
or detail gives it human scale.
It
stands unscathed by fire and battle. No living thing grows upon or within it;
no ivy scales its pristine walls. Its floors are stone, its doors iron, and its
ceilings brass. The Cathedral of the Assumption transcends mere intimidation;
to enter is to be crushed by one's personal insignificance.
Caine
barely noticed.
He
walked up to it, whistling tunelessly, absently: a whisper that carried only a
ghost of music. Teams of acolytes swung from ropes moored to the roof,
scrubbing the facade; though none of the black oil had fouled it, smoke from
the fires had stained its gleaming surface.
"I
suppose you'll be shutting this place down," he muttered.
Why
should I? the voice within him
replied. Ma'elKoth yet exists—still the patron of the Ankhanan Empire, still
the grantor of His Children's petitions. Though He is only part of what I Am,
the name Ma'elKoth still compasses what He is.
There
are many such: I am an entire pantheon. Did you not understand this? Pallas Ril
is part of Me, now, even as is Ma'elKoth; she shall be the patron of the wild
places that she loves, and also the defender of the weak and oppressed, even as
the wilds shelter those who must flee
"Christ,
shut up, will you? If I'd known I'd have to listen to you yap for the rest of
my fucking life, I would have let you kill me."
He
went to the gate, and a priest wearing white robes under a mantle of maroon and
gold opened it for him. "In the name of the Ascended Ma'elKoth, this
humble Child bids the Lord Caine welcome."
Caine
made a face and brushed past the priest's deep bow with a bare nod of
acknowledgment. The priest called after him, "Would the Lord Caine desire
an escort? A guide, perhaps? Can this humble Child direct him in any way?"
"I
can find it," Caine said, and kept walking.
He
had no difficulty making his way to the sanctum. Seven years is not so long a
time that any detail of this place was less than fresh in his memory. He knew
the sanctum well: he had died there.
The
Cathedral of the Assumption had been built around Victory Stadium.
He
came out a long dark gangway into blinding sun: the interior of the stadium was
still open to the sky, and virtually unchanged since that original Assumption
Day. He descended the shallow steps toward the retaining wall around the arena,
and every time I review the recording I think he's about to vault the rail and
alight upon the sand.
But
he never does.
Instead
he sighs, and I feel a grim set fix itself on his face. He looks about,
and finally moves along the rows until he sits in one of the Ducal Boxes—the
one that had belonged, in fact, to the late Toa-Sytell. He leans forward,
supporting his weight with his elbows upon his knees, and stares out across the
sand.
For a
long, long time.
Again,
the recording offers no Soliloquy, no clue to his thoughts, save only the
occasional adrenal race of his pulse, and once or twice the hot sting of
incipient tears.
Finally,
he mutters, "The problem with happy endings is, nothing's ever really
over."
Amen.
Another
long, long silence, while he searches the sky as though he seeks there the
clashing eidolon of the goddess and the god; then he fixes his gaze on one spot
of sand, far out near the center. Near the altar.
"And
Lamorak?" he says, at length. "That shitbag's a god now, too?" Of
course.
"Christ."
No.
Say rather: Judas. Lamorak shall be the god of traitors, of jealous lovers, of
all who plot harm in their hearts, and seek to carry it out in secret.
Poisoners.
Assassins.
"Great,"
Caine grunts, his mouth a bitter twist. "That's like a little gift just
for me, huh?"
No
reply comes.
"What
about Berne?"
Alas,
no. I do not carry Berne within Me. A pity; he would have made a lovely god of
war, don't you think? Very Arean, in so many ways."
Now
it is Caine who does not answer.
A bit
later, he mumbles pensively, "What about Hannto the Scythe? He—you—started
out as a necromancer, right? God of death?" Beauty.
Caine
snorts.
Ironic,
yes? A man so ugly I could not bear to be him yet his sole passion was the
beautiful. Even now, it is only this for which He truly cares.
Caine
shakes his head. "Seems kind of a pissant job. I mean, he's the original
You, right?"
And
that is why He is chief among Us, Caine.
"Chief?
The god of beauty?"
If
you'll permit, I believe Keats put it well:
Beauty
is truth, truth beauty; That is all ye know on Earth, And all ye need to know.
This
sets Caine to leaning back, staring into the sky to consider; I think he might
sleep for a time, here; there comes a point when he closes his eyes, and when
he opens them again, the shadow of the cathedral wall seems to have climbed the
eastern grandstand.
He
seems calmer, when he speaks again, almost—almost—at peace. "What's with
this Lord Caine shit?" he says slowly.
The
dry voice replies without hesitation, as though for it no interval has passed. Only
the smallest gesture of My gratitude. My Children will address you so, and will
do you honor every day of your life.
"Well,
fucking cut it out. I don't want to be Lord anything. I'm Caine. That's
enough."
There
comes a pause.
Then:
Perhaps it is. But how then am Ito express how deeply I value you, and what
you have done for Me? What reward could possibly suffice? "You could
leave me the fuck alone."
Ah,
Caine, has either of us ever been able to do that?
Caine
does not answer.
Can
I offer you a job?
"A
job?"
Would
you like to be, say, Emperor?
"Good
Christ, no!" Caine says, and actually bursts out laughing. "Call that
a reward?"
But
the Empire needs a ruler, and many men would consider nearly unlimited power
"I
have plenty of power," Caine says. "Remember?"
After
a pause: Just so.
"Stick
me with a job I'd suck at? Yeah, that'll cheer me up. Shit. And working for you
doesn't always turn out so well for either of us, you know?"
Again:
Just so.
How
about eternal youth?
Caine
blinks, startled by the idea. "You can do that?"
I
can. In the moment when you and Pallas Ril joined Me to the river, I knew you
utterly. I know you to the molecule, Caine; to the atom. I can make a new body
for you, just as Pallas Ril began to make one for herself I can make you
twenty-five again—twenty-five forever. Think of it: no pain in the hip and
shoulder, muscles with the supple flexibility of youth ... And I can
do better: I can give you superhuman strength, and speed, make your flesh
regenerate wounds
"You
can stop there; I've heard enough. No thanks."
This
would not be some simulacrum, Caine: You would be you. The nervous system of
the new body would receive your consciousness every bit as well as the one that
channels it now, and probably better.
"And
that's it. That's exactly it: that part about better."
Why
would you turn down a perfect body?
He
says through his teeth, "Because I can't fucking trust you."
Caine, you have My word
"Yeah,
we both know how much that's worth," he says. "And we both know that
while you're building me a new body, and you're already in there tinkering
around, you'd start to get the itch to perfect my mind, too. Erase a couple of
those bad habits that nobody likes about me—cussing too much, scratching in
public, whatever—it'd start with minor shit like that, and end up with some of
my other bad habits. Like kicking your ass every once in a while."
A
long interval passes in silence.
At
least let me fix your legs.
"They
work all right, these days."
Their
use remains a chancy proposition, Caine. You may live to regret declining this
offer.
"I'm
living to regret plenty of things," he says with a deep sigh.
Here
I flatter myself I believe he might possibly be thinking that he is the sum of
his scars.
7
How,
then, may I show My gratitude? How may I show the world how much I value you,
My friend?
Here
Caine takes a long, slow breath and speaks in tones deliberately flattened, to
rob them of any suggestion that some emotion might color his words: a judge
issuing final instructions to a jury. "We," he says, "are not
friends."
Caine
"No,"
Caine says with inarguable
finality. "I had a sort of friendship, once, with a man named Tan'elKoth.
He's dead now. You—I don't even know what you are, but you're no fucking friend
of mine."
You
know what I am: I am as you have made Me, Caine.
I
am Home.
And
I am your friend.
"Well,
I'm not yours. You killed my wife, you sack of shit: You hurt my daughter."
And
from those crimes, you and I saved the world.
"Fuck
saving the world. You could save ten worlds. You could save the motherfucking universe
and it won't get you off the hook with me. I don't care if you are God.
Someday, somehow, I'm gonna fuck you up."
We
were at war, Caine. We both fought for what we most loved.
"So
what?"
Sacrifices
had to be made to defeat our common enemy.
"Yeah?
What did you sacrifice?"
Apparently,
your friendship.
Caine
spends a long, long time staring at his hands, making fists and opening them
again, watching them transform from tools to weapons and back to tools once
more.
"I
saw that statue," he says finally. "The night of the fire. David
the King. It was a good likeness. A good statue. Your best work. But it's
not me." I disagree.
"I'm
not your David."
Oh,
that—yes. You are correct, however much I would wish that you were wrong. Where
I disagree is this: David the King is
not My best work You are. "Shit"
I
see a man who was shattered more thoroughly than that block of marble—who has
been reassembled into something greater than the sum of his parts. The artist
in Me will always take pride from My participation in that reconstruction. If
you and I must be enemies, so be it.
It
has been said that the true measure of greatness is the quality of one's
enemies. If this be so, then I am proud to be yours, Caine.
Caine?
"Hmn?"
Caine grunts. "Were you talking?"
You
weren't listening.
He
shrugs. "When you start to drone on like that, it makes my eyes glaze
over. I was thinking: That new body trick—you can do that for anyone who was
joined to the river?"
I can.
Caine
ignites his wolf-grin. "Then I think I've got an Emperor for you."
And
that's where I come into the story once again.
8
I
confess to watching my resurrection many times. I find it fascinating, and not
only for the impressive ceremony, which took place at the Cathedral of the
Assumption a few weeks later. It involved the great brass icon of Ma'elKoth in
the midst of the temple statues of every god in Ankhana, a Great Choir of
elKothan priests, all the nobility and most of the gentry of the Empire, a
tremendous amount of chanting and singing and incense and fireworks, and every
possible kind of symbolic pinch of this and trace of that: sand from the
Teranese Delta, a cup of Tinnaran brandy, an apple from a Kaarnan orchard, et
cetera ad infinitum. It was the culmination of a weeklong festival throughout
the Empire and was, in Caine's words, "the biggest fucking dog-and-pony
show in the history of the human race."
Part
of what I find fascinating is the way my body seems to assemble itself from the
mound of symbolic bric-a-brac, and how when it's done, it's me.
It's
me the way I always thought of myself, when my body allowed me to forget the
approach of middle age: young, smooth of face, a corona of platinum hair around
golden night-hunter eyes.
A
primal mage.
I'm
sure this came as rather a rude surprise to many of the nobility's more hardened
bigots. But even they can't object too loudly: the whole capital garrison of
the Imperial Army heard Toa-Sytell proclaim all the Folk as citizens of the
Empire, with the full complement of rights and duties. And for now, anyway,
even the bigots carry the certainty of God Himself within their hearts: that
this slim ageless fey is their new Emperor.
I say
again: That would be me.
Someday,
perhaps, if I say this often enough, it will no longer sound so strange, or so
awful.
And
so I watch it happen again and again: I watch God Himself, through His faithful
priests, carve me out of a mound of dead things and breathe life into my
nostrils, and it still seems entirely wonderful, and entirely terrifying.
That
is not the only portion of the recording within the Caine Mirror that I watch
again and again; I further confess that I spend much of my time reviewing
Caine's talks with me, and our first meeting in the Pit, and every other time
he and I were together.
What
a gift he has given me
For
this is the one seeing my flash can never offer: to see myself through
another's eyes. It is altogether humbling, and exalting, and to precisely the
same degree.
Not
too dissimilar, in that respect, to being Emperor.
9
I lay
upon the bed where one ruler of Ankhana had died, and one had awakened from
death, and stared numbly at the man responsible for both.
"I
don't understand," I said. "Why me? It doesn't make any
sense."
He
replied through half a smile. "You just haven't had time to think about it
yet."
He
came back from the window and pulled the high-backed laquered chair from the
vanity table. He reversed and straddled it, reminding me for one instant so
strongly of Tommie that sudden tears stung my eyes.
"The
new Empire can't just be for humans, not anymore," he said. "Everybody's
gonna have to work together. You're already the Mithondionne. The Folk will
follow you. But you were born human, so the nobility can accept
you—reluctantly, sure, but remember, God's on your side. Their god. And
you'll need him: the Blind God's still out there, and we both know it can't
give up."
He
leaned forward as though sharing a confidence. "The task of the Empire
will be the defense of Overworld. You were born on Earth. You know what we're
up against. Part of what makes a great Emperor is the ability to choose people
who are responsible, capable, and honest enough to administrate the business of
the realm. Who better than you? Who better than you to mediate disputes and
disagreements between provincial Barons? Who better than you to negotiate alliances?
Who's gonna work harder? Who's gonna care more? Shit, Kris—who better than you
for anything?"
"But,
Hari—" I brought fingertips to my eyes to hold back tears. "But
everything I do, it turns out wrong."
He
shrugged this off as irrelevant—and perhaps he was right. "Sure, shit
doesn't turn out how you expect—or how you hope-but wrong?" He grinned at
me. "You'll have to take that one up with t'Passe."
"T'Passe
..." I murmured. "How is she?"
"She's
alive. Took a bullet and an assload of shrapnel out on Gods' Way, but she made
it. That's a tough broad, no mistake. But this whole thing has flipped her lid
a little—I guess she's decided I am some kind of god after all, and she's my
prophet. She's been running around trying to start up a church for me. Every
time I tell her to cut it out, she just shrugs and tells me she respects my
wishes," he said sardonically, "but she is not compelled to comply."
"T'Passe
liked to say that people are either sheep or wolves," I said wistfully,
watching a cloud billow past the window. "Which am I, Hari?"
"Well,
you know what I always say: There's two kinds of people in the world: the kind
who say things like `There's two kinds of people in the world; and the kind who
know that the first kind are full of shit."
He
waits while I parse this, and I give him a smile to let him know I've gotten
the joke.
"But
that's serious, too," he said. "Two-valued systems break down in
contact with the real world. True or false, right or wrong, good or evil: those
are for mathematicians and philosophers. Theologians. Out here in the real
world? Sure, there are sheep, and there are wolves—and there are also
shepherds."
"Shepherds,"
I echoed.
Hari
nodded. "Yeah. Maybe your real job is to protect people like them—" A
jerk of his head indicated the world beyond the bedchamber's window.
"—from people like me."
I
thought about that for a long time, and I have to admit I liked the sound of
it.
I am
always mildly astonished when such things come out of his mouth; it's so easy
to forget that he was raised by a former university professor—by the author of Tales
of the First Folk, no less. And that is, itself; a reminder of how shallow
and caste-biased I remain, even after all these years: my need to explain his
gifts according to his bloodline. Perhaps, immortal, I can someday outgrow
myself; for this I maintain some hope.
"But
what about the other way around?" I asked. "Who will protect the
people like you?"
"Wolves
don't need protecting," he said. "All we need is some open
country—without too many fences, or too much concrete—and we can take care of
ourselves."
"Sheep,
and wolves, and shepherds," I murmured. I sat up in bed, and Caine handed
me a robe of such silken liquid softness it was barely even there. I wrapped it
about my shoulders and wandered to the window, marveling at my straight,
strong, painless legs.
I
looked out over the city, watching the people slowly bring it back up from the
ashes. "And so there must also be ants and eagles, trees and flowers and
fish. Each to its own nature—and the more there are, the more beauty in the
world."
"Butchers
and bakers and candlestick makers," Caine snorted. "It's just a
fucking metaphor. Don't beat it to death, huh?"
I
nodded. "And Emperors. Do you really think I can do this, Hari?" I
turned to face him. "Do you?"
He
squinted at me against the light from the setting sun. "In my whole life,
there are only three people I've ever really trusted," he said. "One
of them was my father. The other two are you."
This
burns me every time I watch this scene in the Caine Mirror; it wounds me with a
pity I can never share with him. I can never tell him how sorry I am that he
could not include his wife in that small company. I know too well how deeply it
wounds him.
Through
his eyes I watch myself say, "All right. I can try. I just . . . need time
to get used to the idea."
"Not
too much time," he tells me. "Your fucking coronation's in less than
an hour. Come on. Let's get you ready."
"Yes,"
I see myself tell him. "Let's."
I0
My
coronation was very grand, in a disconnected, slightly nightmarish way. I lack
sufficient interest in pageantry to spend much ink upon the details. In the
vast stark shell of the Great Hall of the Colhari Palace, I accepted personal
fealty from hundreds of nobles and from the lords of the Folk. I sat upon the
venom-stained bulk of the Oaken Throne and watched myself receive the diadem in
that dreamlike dissociative state where I was and was not myself: an experience
both terrifyingly immediate and as familiarly comforting as the hundredth
hearing of a favorite bedtime story.
I
still could not make myself believe it was happening.
It
finally became real when Querrisynne Massall approached through the assembled
ranks and climbed the steps to the dais, to kneel and offer me the mithondion
that had been borne by the Twilight King. I took it from his hand, and
received his embrace, and neither shrieked my pain nor collapsed upon the
throne.
The
Massall is father to Finnall: brave, lovely Finnall, my comrade, whom I stabbed
on the precipice above the mines of Transdeia. Father to Quelliar: the murdered
chief of the legates to Thorncleft. That the Massall was here told me all I
could bear to know of the fate of my family, and my people.
Yet I
took the symbol of my House from his hand with no feeling other than a grave
respect for what was offered and for what I then accepted. This was how it
first became real to me: At that moment, I understood how different I am from
what I had thought to become.
Caine
had tried to make me understand, while he helped me layer myself with
ceremonial dress.
"The
real problem with monarchy as a system of government," he'd said, "is
that virtue is not hereditary. So I guess the Big Guy decided he had a better
plan."
I
have been improved.
I am
immortal.
Immune
to illness, to age, to every infirmity that afflicts mortal kind. It may be
possible to kill me, though Caine tells me that if I should, by some fluke, be
destroyed, the power that I call T'nnalldion—Home—can create me again as I am
at this moment.
I
don't think it's changed me too much; to alter my essential nature would defeat
the purpose of having a living ruler at all. One might as well cede authority
to a book of bloodless law; one might as well have a robot for a judge,
dispensing justice according to its programming, unable to mitigate, unable to
abrogate—which of course is not justice at all.
Justice
is just only when it is specific.
It
seems I am myself, saving only a subterranean connection to the pulse of Home:
a constant wellspring of strength. It is strength I cannot live without.
Only by touching that living world within myself can I bear the pain of all the
lives that come before me. Without it, their pain would overwhelm me; I have no
doubt I would go mad, banish the sorrowful from my presence, and end up a Fool
King in a court of happy idiots. Provided a court full of such folk could be
found.
There
are so few happy people in the world.
II
Many
came before me in my Audience the next day; I will mention only those who are
part of this story. Nor will I make any attempt to preserve the order of their
coming; I find I cannot even recall who was first, and who came after.
Kierendal
came to plead the case of the former Duke Toa-M'Jest in absentia; the former
Duke himself had not been seen since he left the Courthouse on the night before
the battle. I had confirmed the decision of the late Patriarch to strip him of
his title, though I rescinded the order for his arrest and execution, and
sentenced him only to banishment. As Tommie had said, the only reason to kill a
man is for something he's going to do. His threat to the Empire is mostly
symbolic: the resentment of the Folk he had persecuted in the name of the
Church, and the vendettas of victim's families. The Empire cannot be perceived
to condone his actions.
"But
this is the only home he has ever known," Kierendal pleaded, kneeling
on the steps below the Oaken Throne. She wore the white of Ankhanan mourning,
and her face was smeared with black ash. "Banishment might as well be a
sentence of death. He is not a bad man—"
"Bad
or good is irrelevant," I said gently. "And this sentence is kinder
than he deserves."
"But
the amnesty—"
"Does
not apply." I'd decreed a general amnesty for crimes committed during the
height of the outbreak; it would have been impossible to sort out who was
responsible for what, when so few could be considered responsible at all.
"The crimes for which Jest is banished occurred before the disease took
hold."
"He
is a friend to Caine—he helped Caine, freed him from his cell—" Her voice
dropped to a bare whisper.
"And
it is Caine who spares him execution. Caine has done what Jest himself refused:
argued for the life of his friend. That is why the sentence is banishment, not
death."
She
lowered her head and flooded my chest with her pain. I understood her too well.
She pleaded for him not because he deserved such sup-port, but because he was
familiar. Jest was the only remnant of her former life that she could still
hope to salvage; she hoped for a rock to anchor her in the empty ocean of her
life, even if it was itself the rock that had battered her to pieces.
I
have never been able to decide if it might be kinder to allow such false hopes
to survive.
"And
what of my punishment?" she said.
Without
my flash to show me her heart, I might have been confused by this, for—far from
punishing her—I had declared her a Friend to the Throne; she is one of the few
true heroes of this story, pure-hearted and strong, and fierce in her defense
of her people. I knew what she wanted, and I knew what she needed, and I knew
that these two things only loosely resembled each other.
"Kierendal,
this is the punishment I -decree for you: to live without those whom you could
not save. I further sentence you to bear this punishment with dignity, and
never to disgrace their memories by claiming guilt which is not yours. Let it
be so."
She
wept as a steward led her away.
Acting
Ambassador Damon came before me, to make the traditional refusal of the honor I
had, in respect to that same tradition, offered: a title and lands on the
borders of the Empire. He desired only to stay within the Monasteries. He had
already resigned his post, though his resignation had not yet been officially
accepted by the Council of Brothers. Despite the amnesty, despite all
arguments to the contrary, he held himself responsible for the destruction of
the embassy. He put it thus: "This happened on my watch. There is no
possible mitigation."
I
suppose it is a function of conscience, to insist upon our fair share of guilt.
T'Passe
as well came before me. To her, I offered the only reward she would accept: a
proclamation rescinding Toa-Sytell's criminalization of the Disciples of Caine.
"The
Disciples of Caine, as a group, are under no obligation to you for this,"
she reminded me stiffly.
"I
thought the Disciples of Caine, as a group, don't believe in groups." This
sparked a tiny smile. "I personally, however," she said, "am in
your debt"
"If
you would repay that debt, visit me on occasion," I told her. "I
value your insight, and would welcome your conversation."
This
seemed to both startle and please her greatly, and she promised to comply.
And I
remember Faith Michaelson, brought before me by Businessman Shanks. I remember
how pale and serious she looked, how her eyes had retreated into black hollows,
and I remember the slight tremble of her hand as she reached for the hem of her
dress to perform a curtsy. Her voice was thin, fluting like a rabbit's whimper.
"Your Imperial Majesty ..." she said.
"I
am so very pleased to meet you, Faith," I told her. "I hope that we
may someday become friends."
"Mm-hm,"
she hummed faintly. Avery Shanks squeezed her hand and murmured, "Yes,
sir."
Faith
repeated, "Yes, sir."
"And
I hope," I said to her there, "that someday you will feel free to
call me Uncle Kris."
Her
expression did not change. "Yes, sir."
This
child was so profoundly wounded by the unspeakable crime she had suffered
More:
she had been ripped entirely from the world she knew.
The
best I could offer was some stability, and the hope of comfort. For her
services to the Empire and the world, I created her Marchioness of Harrakha,
giving her title to Imperial lands where the Transdeian railway comes down from
the God's Teeth, and to the river town nearby.
Avery
Shanks regarded me with eyes that glittered like a falcon's. "I'm told
you're Gunnar Hansen's youngest son," she said, speaking the English that
was her sole tongue.
"I
was," I admitted.
"I
know your father." Her gaze judged my robes and my diadem, the mithondion
in my hand and the vertical pupils of my eyes. She said coldly, "I can
just imagine what he would think if he saw you now."
"Then
your imagination far outstrips my own," I replied.
"I
don't suppose a man like you truly understands the importance of family—"
"And
you may perhaps be correct."
"—but
I am the only real family this child has. You must not take me from her."
"I
had no intention of doing so."
At
this she looked startled. "But Michaelson—"
"I
know no one by that name."
She
shut her mouth so abruptly that her teeth clicked together.
A
formidable woman: even more so than she had been on Earth. The new world had been
transformative for her, as well. In that instant when the world had become new,
and the Social Police officers who had restrained her had fled in terror, she
had found herself alone with the creature that had been Arturo Kollberg. Mad
with rage and loss, it had leaped upon her, knocking her down, kicking her,
clawing at her, and the totality of her universe underwent an instant
skew-flip.
She
had suddenly, instantly, passionately comprehended that despite being fifteen
years her junior, and male, and the aspect of some unimaginable creature of
nearly limitless power, physically he was a small, frail, malnourished little
man
Who
had hurt her granddaughter.
For
the creature that had been Arturo Kollberg, I can only imagine that the new
world was equally transformative. It must have found itself entirely astonished
to be pummeled and clawed and kneed and kicked by Avery Shanks. How could it
have possibly guessed that such a beaten, broken old woman could have become so
instantly fierce? It couldn't have guessed how much hand and arm and leg
strength Avery Shanks had, even at seventy, from her five weekly sets of
tennis. It could never have anticipated that this woman had spent thousands of
hours reviewing the recorded Adventures of not only her son, but also of Caine,
her dearest enemy. While her body might not have the entrained reflexes of
a warrior, she had gleaned considerable theoretical knowledge of personal
combat, and she had long ago overcome the sort of squeamishness that stops
ordinary folk short of savage murder.
It
could not have guessed that, in fact, Avery Shanks rather enjoys the taste of
blood.
And
so when her sharp teeth latched into the side of its neck, sawing through skin
to rip its jugular, she still didn't let go as blood poured across them both,
but kept biting deeper and deeper, and chewed through muscle to sever its
carotid artery.
It
must have still been entirely surprised when it died.
All
this I got in the instant's flash. I regarded her with the same wary respect I
offer Caine: the recognition of being in the presence of a natural killer.
"All
who know your granddaughter desire nothing beyond her welfare," I told
her. "We are agreed that she can do no better than to remain in your care;
and it is for this reason that I now create you Countess of Lyrissan—which you
will hold in fief from Lady Faith-and further name you Steward of all the lands
and holdings of the Marchionness until she reaches her majority."
"Countess?"
she said. I watched her try the title on and discover that she liked its fit.
Which
was as well. She cannot be returned to Earth, and she is an aristocrat to the
bone. I confess that I had the interests of the Empire in mind: Placing a
ruthless and frighteningly capable Businessman in control, for the next fifteen
years, of what was sure to become our primary overland trade route would
certainly redound to the Empire's benefit.
I had
thought to make her title conditional—to make her swear to give over her
vendetta against Caine—but Hari himself had earlier persuaded me otherwise.
"Let her be who she is," he'd said. "You put a rule on her like
that, she'll just start trying to figure out ways around it. And in the
meantime, she'll be pissed at you for making her go to the trouble. Avery
Shanks is a bad enemy to have. Let me worry about her. In the end, she'll
understand that hurting me hurts Faith; she'd chew off her own arm first."
This
might have been my first true lesson in governance: Sometimes, to accomplish
more, do less.
And
then, inevitably, there was Raithe.
I
think of him often, now, and when I think of him, I see him as he was before me
in that Audience: kneeling upon the steps below the Oaken Throne. He kept his
head lowered, refusing to meet my eye. His left hand he had held as a fist
before him, wrapped in layer after layer of linen to the size of a white fabric
boxing glove. While he knelt, the oil from his hand had slowly soaked out
through the linen, until it dripped upon the steps before him like black tears.
He
had come in search of a doom. He wished his tale to end with punishment for his
crimes.
I
didn't want to judge him. I had seen all that he has suffered, all he
has done, and all that has been done to him. He is a very lonely, very
troubled young man.
Caine
and I had discussed Raithe, as well, for I had anticipated this moment.
"Better
keep him close," Caine had advised. "That fucker's dangerous. He's
only gonna get more dangerous as he goes along. You need him where you can keep
an eye on him."
"What
do you have in mind?"
"I
was thinking," Caine had said, a wicked glint sharpening his smile,
"that he'd make a pretty good Ambassador to the Infinite Court." I
thought about that for a while.
While
I was thinking, Caine had gone on: "Get Raithe installed here, and I'm
pretty sure between the two of you, you could get Damon on the Council of
Brothers. That's the place for him: making policy."
"You
could be right," I admitted.
"You're
better off with Raithe. You need somebody who isn't afraid to break a rule here
and there."
"Like
you."
"Me?"
He laughed. "I don't break rules. I don't even notice them."
I
remember musing how alike Raithe and Hari were, in so many ways, and I
made mention of this. "In a sense, you're almost like father and
son." "Yeah," he grunted. "Not in a good sense."
"Have
you ever wondered if you might be his father? You told me he's
illegitimate--that his mother was a prostitute in Ankhana—and his age would be
about right. You said you were pretty wild, in those days." "Nah,
he's not my son," he said carelessly. "Might be yours, though."
I stared, drop-jawed and blinking. "You must be joking."
"No,
I'm not. That's what makes it so funny. His mother was a Korish whore at the
Exotic Love; I didn't hang out at the Exotic in those days—I couldn't afford to
look through the goddamn doors, let alone buy a girl. My place was Fader's,
over in the Warrens."
"Fader's,"
I said hollowly, caught in memories a quarter century old. "I remember
Fader."
"Yeah,
well, she's dead now. You used to work at the Exotic, right?" I nodded,
numb.
"You
remember a girl named Marte? Dark skinned, tiny?"
"Marte—I
do, I think."
"Ever
bang her?"
"Caine—"
"Come
on, you can tell me. Did you?"
"I—I'm
not sure. I might have. I had a lot of sex in those days, Hari, and I wasn't
often sober."
"Well,
he's got your build. I don't know what color your eyes were, before the
surgeries—"
"Blue."
He
shrugged. "And he's got all these mind powers and shit, and you're the
bust-ass thaumaturge, right? You gotta admit it's possible."
"Yes,"
I murmured slowly. "I suppose I do."
All
this swirled through my mind as I looked down upon him in the Great Hall. I
tried to persuade him to drop his request; he is not, after all, my subject.
Any punishment for his crimes must come from the Council of Brothers, for he
retains his rank of Ambassador, with its attendant diplomatic immunity.
"Don't preach law to me," he said there. "I don't need law. I
need justice"
His
plea moved me, and so I reluctantly consented.
"This,
then, is your doom, Raithe of Ankhana." I pointed down at the pool of oil
collecting on the step. "You are now the chokepoint of the Blind God's
ambitions for this world; it is through you its power will still seek to poison
us. Your doom is to resist the Blind God with every breath, and to struggle
every day to repair the damage he has done through you."
He
said, "How can I—?"
"You
cannot. You will strive without respite until the day of your death, always
knowing that you will ultimately fail. Always knowing that the instant you
surrender, things you love will begin to die."
For a
long moment he knelt there, his head lowered; and then without a word he slowly
and deliberately used the hem of his robe to mop up the oil that had dripped
from his hand. Then he touched his forehead to the stain, rose, and backed out
of my presence.
I
watched him go in silence.
"That's
kinda harsh."
There
is a small alcove behind the Oaken Throne. Within the alcove, there is a chair,
set so that its occupant can peer out an unobtrusive spygate concealed within
the ornate carvings of the wall; it was through this spy-gate that the dark,
dry voice came.
"You
think so? What I gave him wasn't punishment, it was a gift," I said
softly. "I gave his life purpose. Meaning."
"Some
gift. Next Christmas? Cards only, huh?"
I
allowed myself a gentle chuckle. "I still wish you'd let me give you a
title"
"Forget
it. I have other plans." Hari had, over the past day, dropped veiled
hints that he and the god had reached some sort of rapprochement. "There
are some places," he'd admitted, "where our interests coincide."
"Hari—"
"Drop
it, Kris. Like I told you the first time—" When he had turned down my
every offer, from Duke of Public Order down to what he called Baronet of
Buttfuck Nowhere. "—if I hold a title from you, some people are gonna hold
the Empire accountable for shit I do. Believe me, Kris, you don't want that.
Believe me."
I
found I did believe him.
"And
what is it you're going to do?"
His
voice warmed with that familiar wicked grin. "Make trouble."
I2
Hours
became days that turned to weeks. I kept myself buried in work—which was
primarily discovering whom among the nobility I could trust to administrate the
Empire's business. I also helped Lady Avery and Lady Faith establish their
household; Francis Rossi, the unfortunate Actor Kier and I had kidnapped so long
ago, became Lady Faith's aide. Caine trusts him, and the new Marchioness needs
someone who can not only protect and defend her person, but can translate her
English into Westerling. Lady Avery has already gathered a substantial cadre of
former Actors to be her agents. I saw little of Caine during those weeks, by
my choice.
I
could not face him.
I had
made one dreadful mistake, a mistake that haunted me, poisoning my every waking
moment, until the only answer my horror would allow was the distraction of constant
work
I had
looked into the abyss.
This
was how I did it:
"I
need to know, Hari," I said one day. "I need to know how you knew it
would work When you killed Ma'elKoth. How could you have possibly known? How
did you know he was not wholly the blind god? How did you know he would turn
upon his master once you joined him with the river? How did you know you
weren't handing the enemy the exact victory it most desired?"
Finally
I came to the real question, which I barely dared to ask "How did you know
you weren't destroying the world, instead of saving it?" "Ma'elKoth
asked me the same thing,"
"And?"
He
shrugged. "I didn't."
I
stared, speechless.
"I
thought I was dead, Kris," he said. "There was no way Kollberg and
the Social Police were gonna let me walk out of there. All I could do was try
to save Faith."
My
mouth opened, and a chill coiled within my guts. "You . . . all you
could—"
"I
didn't even know that killing Ma'elKoth with Kosall would channel him into the
river. Didn't have a clue. How could I? All I knew was that he was the one who
had the hold on Faith. She was the link to the river, but he was the link to
her. So I killed him. He's dead; she's off the hook. Then Soapy shoots my ass
off, and I'm dead, too. The blind god gets the sword—it doesn't need her
anymore. Raithe was gonna leave her with the elves. They'd have looked after
her, healed her as best they could. She might have had some kind of life."
He shrugged again. "It was the best I could do."
Still
half dumbstruck, I stammered, "Then—then your plan—you didn't--all
this—?"
"That
was the plan. The only plan I had."
"From
the beginning ..." I murmured.
"Yeah.
From as soon as I understood what was going on."
"All
this—the prisoners, the Faces, the Monastics. The destruction of the city.
Raithe. Me. You used us all."
"Yeah."
"You
made all this happen just to save one little girl."
He
nodded. "And to take a chunk out of Ma'elKoth. Leave the world something
to remember me by."
He
spread his hands as though offering a hug to my horrified stare. "Hey,
what can I say? I am who I am."
"Yes,"
I agreed numbly. "Yes, you are."
"You
never know how things'll play out. You can't. The universe doesn't work that
way." He grinned at me. "So cheer the fuck up, huh?" "No,
I—no, I mean ..." I shook my head, trying to fit all this into my reality.
"You found yourself on a precipice, in the dark. So you jumped."
"Every day, Kris. Every fucking day."
And
he sounded happy about it.
I
can't be happy about it. I can barely even think about it. It makes me feel
empty: hollow, fragile, broken inside.
It's
all so meaningless
I
have been judged with every judgment I have pronounced. Like t'Passe, I
represent a people suddenly granted the full rights of Ankhanan citizens,
whether we want them or not. Like Kierendal, I am sentenced to live
without those I could not save. Like Faith, I must take comfort from a title
and power bestowed--inflicted--upon me without my desire or my consent. Like Raithe,
I have been given the thorny gift of purpose.
Like
Caine, the world now asks of me only that I be who I am.
What
have I done to deserve this?
Hari
likes to quote Nietzsche: "And when you gaze into the abyss, re-member
that the abyss gazes also into you."
My
only reply is the mantra of Conrad's Kurtz.
I am
aware that this is yet another failure of character, that other, stronger men
do not suffer from the nausea of the void. I am also aware of the gape of hell
beneath my feet. The history of both my worlds is replete with monsters called
kings, and demons called emperors.
In
every case, they became so simply because, in a universe without meaning, there
was no reason not to.
And
here is another gift I have been given, far greater than I can possibly
deserve: When the horror overwhelms me, I have someone to whom I can always
turn, who will always save my life.
I3
Caine
took another long, slow sip of the hundred-year-old Tinnaran in his snifter and
made a face. "Know what really sucks?" he said. "On this whole fucking
planet, nobody makes a decent scotch."
We
sat together in the palace library, long after midnight. I sat at this very
table, near the warmth of a slowly wavering lamp flame. Caine sprawled across
an overstuffed chair upholstered in glistening crushed velvet the color of
black cherries, while we shared a cask of the palace cellar's finest brandy.
"There are worse problems," I said.
"For
you, maybe. How am I supposed to face old age without Laphroaig?"
"Han—"
He
waved his snifter at me. "Pour me some more of this nasty shit, huh? It's
hard enough to be serious when I'm sober; it's impossible when I'm only half
drunk."
I
tipped another splash of brandy into his glass, and he swirled it while he
waited for it to warm to his hand. After I refilled his, I added a splash to my
own. I took a long drink and replenished again before I replied. "Do you
remember the last time we sat and drank together like this?"
He
lifted his glass and stared at the lamp flame through the warm amber
transparency of the brandy. "Last time, it was retsina. Remember?"
"Vividly."
"Twenty-five—no,
twenty-seven, twenty-eight years ago, it must be. Yeah, I was thinking of that.
You were pretty down that night, too." "Too?"
He
gave me a knowing Oh, come on, now look. "Shit, Kris, if we were on
Earth, I'd be taking you to an emergency room somewhere to get your serotonin
balance adjusted."
I
suddenly found my brandy much more interesting than I did his face.
"Hey," he said, "you want to talk about it, we'll talk. You
don't want to talk, we'll drink. I'm easy."
For a
time, we did just that: sat, and drank. He seemed to enjoy the quiet; for me,
the silence rang with anomie, and I felt as though my chair were made of
knives.
At
length, I made a try. "I only—" I began. "I remember, a few days
before I left on freemod, I wrote the story of what happened to us at the
Conservatory, and what we did. I remember wondering what our lives would be
like, twenty or thirty years from then. How we might meet again."
"You
didn't come close to this, huh?"
"Not
really."
"Is
that a problem?"
"Maybe.
Maybe that's part of it."
"How
come?"
"I
just can't make myself understand, Hari," I said helplessly. "I can't
figure out what I did right, and what I did wrong. Here I am: Emperor of
Ankhana. Power. Limitless wealth. Eternal youth. And I can't even decide if
this is a reward or a punishment."
"I
might not be the right guy to be having this conversation with," Caine
said, chuckling. "For me, breathing is its own reward."
"How
can you laugh?"
"What,
should I cry? Would that make more sense?"
"I
don't know, Hari." I set down my glass and turned away from him. "I
don't even know what sense is, anymore."
Suddenly
my face was in my hands.
"Hey—hey,
come on, Kris." He'd lost his bantering tone, and his hand was warm on my
shoulder.
"Maybe
laughter is the only answer," I said, rubbing my burning eyes. "It's
all so ... ridiculous, you know? How could these things have happened to me?
How can I possibly be who I have become? I don't under-stand, you see? I need
to understand, and I can't. Everything is so .. . random. I can't
make it make sense."
"Yeah,
no shit. What did you expect?"
Slowly,
I raised my head once more. "I don't know. Maybe—maybe I expected that I
would have learned something. That I'd have an idea what it all meant."
"The
meaning of life? Shit, Kris, I can help you there."
"You
can?"
"Sure.
It doesn't mean anything."
Now I
did laugh bitterly, hopelessly. "Some help."
"It
is what it is, Kris. One day you're alive. One day you're dead. One day you're a
loser. One day you're king of the fucking world. No reason. It doesn't mean
anything. It just is."
"I
don't accept that. I can't accept that"
He
shrugged. "Everybody spends their whole lives pretending that shit isn't
random. We trace connections between events, and we invest those connections
with meaning. That's why we all make stories out of our lives. That's what
stories are: ways of pretending that things happen for a reason."
"I
keep thinking of my father—of the Ravenlock. Of my brother Torronell. What did
they do to deserve such horrible deaths? How is it that I live to rule, and
they died in agony?"
"How
should I know? Those aren't my stories."
"Are
they mine?"
"Maybe
you shouldn't worry so much about their stories. Maybe you should just pay
attention to their roles in your story. Let them worry about what
they deserved or didn't deserve."
"Let
the dead bury the dead," I said.
"Yeah.
What you're gonna do about it, that's your story. You might find things
make a little more sense."
"What
kind of story can possibly make sense of that? What about all the innocent
citizens of Ankhana who murdered each other in the plague? What about all the
ones who burned to death? What about all the cowards who ran and hid and let
others die, and now walk free in the sunlight?"
He
took a slow, meditative draft of brandy and let it rest in his mouth while he
considered.
"I
had a lot of time to myself to think shit over not too long ago," he said
at length, holding up his right hand so that the lamplight fell upon the scars
the Shaft shackle had left on his wrist. "I'll tell you what I think. I
think capital-L Life has no meaning in a human sense—it is what it is, like a
rock, or the sun, or anything else. It means itself, and that's all. But that
doesn't mean our lives have no meaning, you follow? Life might not have
a meaning of its own, but the stories we tell about it do. You told me
once that the universe is a structure of coincidence. It means whatever
you decide it means. Which is another way of saying: What your life means
depends on how you tell the story."
"That's
not good enough," I said. Like all words of wisdom, those had been much
easier to say than to accept. "What meaning can I possibly give a story
like mine?"
"How
the fuck should I know? Maybe if you just tell it the best you can, it'll grow
its own meaning."
And
that is what I hold on to, now. That is how he saved me, yet again. It's my
life.
What
it means depends on how I tell the story.
I4
I
said good-bye to Caine in a grey dawn at the dockside, lashed by spits of
winter rain. Lady Avery was already bundled into her cabin within the
riverbarge, and the crew stood at ready, waiting for Caine.
Past
his shoulder, as we embraced, I saw Lady Faith, still on deck, watching with
wide, solemn eyes—making sure that her father was not going to leave her again.
Beside her, Orbek stood in motionless guard, an assault rifle cradled in his
massive arms.
I was
at the dockside incognito, dressed in a commoner's tunic and pants, covered
only by a woolen cloak that hung heavy and wet about my shoulders. I do not
fear to walk unguarded among my subjects; I still have skills of hand and mind
to defend myself at need, and the word of T'nnalldion that the Empire will not
go untended should I fall.
Caine
wore no cloak of his own, only a tunic and pants of black leather that seemed
to bristle with knives at every angle. These made embracing him an
uncomfortable business
But I
suppose it would have been so, regardless.
"What
will you do, now?"
He
smiled at me from under hair plastered flat by the freezing rain. "After I
get Faith and Shanks settled in? Maybe it's better you shouldn't know. I don't
want you to worry."
"I'm
not your mother." I fisted him in the ribs and tried for a tone of
cheerful banter. "I'm your king."
"Yeah,
well, let's keep that just between us, huh?" Then he shrugged, and grinned
at me. "It's occurred to me that if I'm gonna be raising a daughter on
this world, I'm gonna want this to be a decent world to raise her on. So I'll
be heading southwest—down into warm weather. There's a place in northern Kor I
need to visit. Chanazta'atsi."
"Chanazta'atsi?"
The name was familiar, and after only a moment I remembered why. "There's
a dil in Chanazta'atsi."
His
grin spread. "I know."
Before
I could pursue this further, his eyes shifted toward something over my shoulder
and his smile faded. His face hardened to stone.
I
followed his gaze. Toward us through the rain came a man dressed as I was,
though the hood of his cloak was drawn up until it occulted his face. He carried
a large black valise in his right hand, and only when I saw the bulge of white
linen around his left did I realize who he was.
A
twist of motion in my peripheral vision: Orbek adjusting his grip on the rifle
to hold it at low-ready.
Caine
stepped away from me and moved to intercept Raithe. He stopped midway, and his
hand went beneath the hem of his tunic at the small of his back; it came out
with a large, matte-black automatic pistol, which he held against the back of
his thigh, where Raithe could not see it. He waited, motionless, as Raithe
approached. He said something that I did not hear, and Raithe replied by
lifting the valise and offering it to Caine.
"It
is the only gift I can offer that might have meaning," I heard him say.
"And the greatest gift you can give in return is to accept it from my
hand."
They
spoke together then for some little time, while I watched. As did Orbek.
As
did Faith.
What
they said to each other is not part of my story, but it was not long before
Caine shrugged, showed Raithe the gun he held—and then put it away.
Raithe
departed with a bare nod in my direction. Caine returned to my side and handed
the valise to me. "You might find this useful," he said; then he
explained to me what it was, and how it is used, and left me there on the
dockside in the rain, holding the Caine Mirror in its case.
"See
you around," he said as the poleboys unmoored the barge and shoved it away
from the dockside.
I
could only wave.
He
returned my wave with a nod; then as the freezing rain thickened toward sleet,
shading the barge and all upon it to grey silhouettes, I saw his dim ghost
place an arm around the blur of his daughter's shoulders, and they turned and
went into the wash of firelight through the cabin door.
Orbek
stood in the rain for a moment longer. He gave me one solemn nod, then followed
them within.
I
stood in the sleet until the barge could no longer be seen.
Then
I came back here, to my writing table in the library, and poured myself
more of this fine Tinnaran, and finally—hours or days later—summoned the
courage to use Caine's gift to me.
I5
Some
months after the battle was over, war was finally declared. I wasn't there—I
don't know the details—but I have a powerful and detailed imagination, which
has proved accurate in the past.
I see
it like this:
The
members of the Board of Governors are summoned to emergency plenary session;
their personal implants—similar to thoughtmitters—alert them to the emergency,
and each of them hurries to find a private place where they can activate
without fear of discovery or interruption.
For
Leisureman Marc Vilo, the alert comes while he's sitting on the toilet, off the
master bedroom of his sprawling estate in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains. This
being already more than private enough for his purposes, he speaks the required
code phrase, then sighs as the reality of the bathroom around him thins to
translucency; his final independent thought, as his consciousness melds with
the electronic group mind that is the Bog, is that this business of being on
the Board—far from the huge accession of power it had seemed to him as an
outsider—is really kind of a pain in the ass. Especially now that the entire
Studio system has been shut down for more than a month. What he finds, though,
is electrifying.
Every
POV screen in every Studio on Earth has suddenly come back to life, and they
all show the same thing.
Caine.
He
squats on his heels in some kind of desert setting: a rock outcrop-ping at his back,
scraps of scrub like sagebrush around his feet. He wears his familiar costume
of black leather, and his familiar wolf-grin. His hair is a bit more grey than
some of the Bog recall, and his waist a trace thicker, but there is nothing
about him that looks the faintest bit old, or soft.
He
bears no resemblance to the former Chairman of the San Francisco Studio.
Shortly
thereafter, telemetry confirms from whom the POV is being transmitted: an Actor
named Francis Rossi, aka J'Than. Several of the Bog comment that this seems
ironic—wasn't J'Than the Actor who had been used as a camera some months ago,
when all this began? A lightning consult of the Studio's online data files
confirms that he is.
Caine,
meanwhile, seems to understand that his audience is now assembled. "Hi
there," he says, darkly cheerful. "You fuckers know who I am, so I'll
bite right to the gristle."
He
stands. "I know there are people over there who are thinking, Yeah, big
deal, we'll reopen the colonies. Yeah, we'll find a way around this transfer
shield, and then we'll send Actors and tanks and guns and all the rest of that
shit. I know people are thinking that. I know I'm talking to some of those
people right now.
"I
know you're thinking: In the end, numbers and technology let you do whatever
you want. You're thinking there really isn't dick we can do about it. Well,
guess what?
"I'm
here to tell you that you're wrong.
"We
can hurt you."
He
walks away, around the outcrop of wind-eroded sandstone, and J'Than follows.
Caine stares off, far down a long, sloping hill; several buildings cluster in
the twilit distance, window lights winking on as the sun gives way to night.
"Sure, you can probably find a technological answer that'll get you back
to Overworld. I just wanted to let you know that we can get to Earth."
He
points down at those buildings. "See? You know what that is?" Marc
Vilo, alone among the Board of Governors, does.
Holy
crap, he thinks. That's
my house.
Something
seizes J'Than from behind—possibly Caine himself—and he seems to fly through
the air: desert rolls beneath him, and the complex soars to meet him with
terrifying speed.
In
his bathroom, Marc Vilo's hand finds a hazily translucent key on the pad beside
the toilet, and alarm klaxons blare.
They
land on the pool deck, beside an artificial waterfall, and the shriek of sirens
seems to please Caine in some darkly savage place. "Think about it,"
he says. "All of you. Okay, you can get at us. Now we can get at you. We
know what your tanks can do to our cities. Imagine what a dragon can do to New
York. Imagine being in a skyscraper in downtown Chicago while rockmagi liquefy
its foundation.
"Imagine."
The
general consensus of the Board is that Caine must be bluffing. Dwarfs? Dragons?
Magick on that scale cannot be done on Earth
As if
in answer, Caine turns away from J'Than. "Ma'elKoth?"
A
shaft of crimson flame bursts from his outstretched hands, and the building he
faces explodes.
He
watches it burn, grinning.
He
turns back to J'Than and leans close, his face demon-lit by flames behind.
"Marc? You home, old buddy? Knock fucking knock."
The
Vilo Intercontinental secmen who guard the estate barely have a chance to
prime their weapons before Caine scatters them with a tidal bore of fire. He
strides among the buildings, and his merest glance strikes ablaze even the
brick of the walls.
When
he reaches the main house, he batters through the carbon-fiber-reinforced
ceramic armor of the front door with his bare hands. Brick and stone shatter
under his fists, and he disappears within, leaving the Actor staring helplessly
after him.
He
disappears from the view of the Bog. But Marc Vilo sees him when Caine rips the
bathroom door from its hinges. To Marc—half his consciousness subsumed in the
Board—Caine seems translucent, only partially there, but his half reality is
doubly terrifying.
"Never
expected you'd die on the toilet, huh?"
"Hari—"
he says. "Hari, for the love of God, please—"
"Which
god?"
"Hari,
I'm begging you, please—c'mon, kid, all the stuff I've done for you—I made
you. Please, you can't—"
Caine
shakes his head. "You of all people, Marc. Of all the people in the
world—in any world—"
His
lips stretch open over his teeth, feral and cold. "You should have known
better than to fuck with my family."
That
is the last Vilo sees: his eyeballs boil and burst in the first wash of flame.
He does, however, have time to hear himself scream.
To
the Bog, watching through J'Than's eyes, it seems the house detonates like a
fuel-air bomb. J'Than himself is hurled tumbling through the air by the force
of it, and lands gasping and stunned upon the lush green grass that defines
this desert home's front lawn. For several seconds, the Bog allows itself to
believe that Caine might have perished in the explosion, but then he walks out
of the flames. Unhurt.
Not
even singed.
"You
want a war?" he says with that same dark and savage cheer. "Bring it
on."
He
leans so close to J'Than that his teeth fill the world. "As of right now,
the Studio is out of business. So is the Overworld Company. "Overworld is closed."
He
puts his hands on J'Than's face.
"Thank
you, and good night."
The
light from the last Actor's eyes contracts to a point, and winks out.
I6
So:
Here
I am.
At my
desk, my head full of stories.
There
are so many heroes in these stories: Hari, and Caine; Raithe, and the
Caineslayer; Avery Shanks and Kierendal and Damon of Jhanthogen Bluff
Tan'elKoth,
of course.
And,
I suppose—in my backward way—even me.
I
remember reading somewhere that the name for how we structure reality is myth:
that myths are stories that offer a perception of order within the chaos of
existence.
I'm
still not sure I will ever understand, but I think I see how to survive without
understanding. I will tell the story as best I can, and let it grow its own
meaning. And if I can't find myths that properly order the chaos of my life,
I'll make up some of my own.
My
story begins:
A
tale is told of twin boys born to different mothers.
One
is dark by nature, the other light. One is rich, the other poor. One is harsh,
the other gentle. One is forever youthful the other old before his time. One is
mortal.
They
share no bond of blood or sympathy, but they are twins nonetheless. They each
live without ever knowing that they are brothers.
They
each die fighting the blind god.
There
are some who say that Time is itself a hammer: that each slow second marks
another tap that makes big rocks into little rocks, waterfalls into canyons,
cliffs into beaches.
There
are some who say that Time is instead a blade. They see the dance of its
razored tip, poised like a venomous snake, forever ready to slay faster than
the eye can see.
And
there are some who say that Time is both hammer and blade.
They
say the hammer is a sculptor's mallet, and the blade is a sculptor's chisel:
that each stroke is a refinement, a perfecting, a discovery of truth and beauty
within what would otherwise be blank and lifeless stone.
And I
name this saying wisdom.