The
Compleat Werewolf
Anthony
Boucher
The
professor glanced at the note: Don't be silly—Gloria.
Wolfe Wolf
crumpled the sheet of paper into a yellow ball and hurled it out the window
into the sunshine of the bright campus spring. He made several choice and
profane remarks in fluent Middle High German.
Emily
looked up from typing the proposed budget for the departmental library.
"I'm afraid I didn't understand that, Professor Wolf. I'm weak on Middle
High."
"Just
improvising," said Wolf, and sent a copy of the Journal of English and
Germanic Philology to follow the telegram.
Emily rose
from the typewriter. "There's something the matter. Did the committee
reject your monograph on Hager?"
"That
monumental contribution to human knowledge? Oh, no. Nothing so important as
that."
"But
you're so upset—"
"The
office wife!" Wolf snorted. "And pretty damned polyandrous at that,
with the whole department on your hands. Go away."
Emily's
dark little face lit up with a flame of righteous anger that removed any trace
of plainness. "Don't talk to me like that, Mr. Wolf. I'm simply trying to
help you. And it isn't the whole department. It's—"
Professor
Wolf picked up an inkwell, looked after the telegram and the Journal, then
set the glass pot down again. "No. There are better ways of going to
pieces. Sorrows drown easier than they smash. Get Herbrecht to take my
two-o'clock, will you?"
"Where
are you going?"
"To
hell in sectors. So long."
"Wait.
Maybe I can help you. Remember when the dean jumped you for serving drinks to
students? Maybe I can—"
Wolf stood
in the doorway and extended one arm impressively, pointing with that curious index
which was as long as the middle finger. "Madam, academically you are
indispensable. You are the prop and stay of the existence of this department.
But at the moment this department can go to hell, where it will doubtless
continue to need your invaluable services."
"But
don't you see—" Emily's voice shook. "No. Of course not. You wouldn't
see. You're just a man—no, not even a man. You're just Professor Wolf. You're
Woof-woof."
Wolf
staggered. "I'm what?"
"Woof-woof.
That's what everybody calls you because your name's Wolfe Wolf. All your
students, everybody. But you wouldn't notice a thing like that. Oh, no.
Woof-woof, that's what you are."
"This,"
said Wolfe Wolf, "is the crowning blow. My heart is breaking, my world is
shattered, I've got to walk a mile from the campus to find a bar; but all this
isn't enough. I've got to be called Woof-woof. Goodbye!"
He turned,
and in the doorway caromed into a vast and yielding bulk, which gave out with a
noise that might have been either a greeting of "Wolf!" or more
probably an inevitable grunt of "Oof!"
Wolf backed
into the room and admitted Professor Fearing, paunch, pince-nez, cane and all.
The older man waddled over to his desk, plumped himself down, and exhaled a
long breath. "My dear boy," he gasped. "Such impetuosity."
"Sorry,
Oscar."
"Ah,
youth—" Professor Fearing fumbled about for a handkerchief, found none,
and proceeded to polish his pince-nez on his somewhat stringy necktie.
"But why such haste to depart? And why is Emily crying?"
"Is
she?"
"You
see?" said Emily hopelessly, and muttered "Woof-woof" into her
damp handkerchief.
"And
why do copies of the JEGP fly about my head as I harmlessly cross the
campus? Do we have teleportation on our hands?"
"Sorry,"
Wolf repeated curtly. "Temper. Couldn't stand that ridiculous argument of
Glocke's. Goodbye."
"One
moment." Professor Fearing fished into one of his unnumbered
handkerchiefless pockets and produced a sheet of yellow paper. "I believe
this is yours?"
Wolf
snatched at it and quickly converted it into confetti.
Fearing
chuckled. "How well I remember when Gloria was a student here! I was
thinking of it only last night when I saw her in Moonbeams and Melody. How
she did upset this whole department! Heavens, my boy, if I'd been a younger man
myself—"
"I'm
going. You'll see about Herbrecht, Emily?"
Emily
sniffed and nodded.
"Come,
Wolfe." Fearing's voice had grown more serious. "I didn't mean to
plague you. But you mustn't take these things too hard. There are better ways
of finding consolation than in losing your temper or getting drunk."
"Who
said anything about—"
"Did
you need to say it? No, my boy, if you were to—You're not a religious man, are
you?"
"Good
God, no," said Wolf contradictorily.
"If
only you were…If I might make a suggestion, Wolfe, why don't you come over to
the Temple tonight? We're having very special services. They might take your
mind off Glo—off your troubles."
"Thanks,
no. I've always meant to visit your Temple—I've heard the damnedest rumors
about it—but not tonight. Some other time."
"Tonight
would be especially interesting."
"Why?
What's so special of a feast day about April thirtieth?"
Fearing
shook his gray head. "It is shocking how ignorant a scholar can be outside
of his chosen field...But you know the place, Wolfe; I'll hope to see you there
tonight."
"Thanks.
But my troubles don't need any supernatural solutions. A couple of zombies will
do nicely, and I do not mean serviceable stiffs. Goodbye, Oscar."
He was halfway through the door before he added as an afterthought, '"Bye,
Emily."
"Such
rashness," Fearing murmured. "Such impetuosity. Youth is a wonderful
thing to enjoy, is it not, Emily?"
Emily said
nothing, but plunged into typing the proposed budget as though all the fiends
of hell were after her, as indeed many of them were.
The sun was
setting, and Wolf's tragic account of his troubles had laid an egg, too. The
bartender had polished every glass in the joint and still the repetitive tale
kept pouring forth. He was torn between a boredom new even in his experience
and a professional admiration for a customer who could consume zombies indefinitely.
"Did I
tell you about the time she flunked the mid-term?" Wolf demanded
truculently.
"Only
three times," said the bartender.
"All
right, then; I'll tell you. Yunnerstand, I don't do things like this.
Profeshical ethons, that's what's I've got. But this was different. This wasn't
like somebody that doesn't know because she wasn't the kind of girl that has to
know just because she doesn't know; this was a girl that didn't know the kind
of things a girl has to know if she's the kind of girl that ought to know that
kind of things. Yunnerstand?"
The
bartender cast a calculating glance at the plump little man who sat alone at
the end of the deserted bar, carefully nursing his gin-and-tonic.
"She
made me see that. She made me see lossa things and I can still see the things
she made me see the things. It wasn't just like a professor falls for a coed,
yunnerstand? This was different. This was wunnaful. This was like a whole new
life, like."
The
bartender sidled down to the end of the bar. "Brother," he whispered
softly.
The little
man with the odd beard looked up from his gin-and-tonic. "Yes,
colleague?"
"If I
listen to that potted professor another five minutes, I'm going to start
smashing up the joint. How's about slipping down there and standing in for me,
huh?"
The little
man looked Wolf over and fixed his gaze especially on the hand that clenched
the tall zombie glass. "Gladly, colleague," he nodded.
The
bartender sighed a gust of relief.
"She
was Youth," Wolf was saying intently to where the bartender had stood.
"But it wasn't just that. This was different. She was Life and Excitement
and Joy and Ecstasy and stuff. Yunner—" He broke off and stared at the
empty space. "Uh-mazing!" he observed. "Right before my very
eyes. Uh-mazing!"
"You
were saying, colleague?" the plump little man prompted from the adjacent
stool.
Wolf
turned. "So there you are. Did I tell you about the time I went to her
house to check her term paper?"
"No.
But I have a feeling you will."
"Howja
know? Well, this night—"
The little
man drank slowly; but his glass was empty by the time Wolf had finished the
account of an evening of pointlessly tentative flirtation. Other customers
were drifting in, and the bar was now about a third full.
"—and
ever since then—" Wolf broke off sharply. "That isn't you," he
objected.
"I
think it is, colleague."
"But
you're a bartender and you aren't a bartender."
"No.
I'm a magician."
"Oh.
That explains it. Now, like I was telling you—Hey! Your bald is beard."
"I beg
your pardon?"
"Your
bald is beard. Just like your head. It's all jussa fringe running around."
"I
like it that way."
"And
your glass is empty."
"That's
all right too."
"Oh,
no, it isn't. It isn't every night you get to drink with a man that proposed to
Gloria Garton and got turned down. This is an occasion for celebration."
Wolf thumped loudly on the bar and held up his first two fingers.
The little
man regarded their equal length. "No," he said softly. "I think
I'd better not. I know my capacity. If I have another—well, things might start
happening."
"Lettemappen!"
"No.
Please, colleague. I'd rather—"
The
bartender brought the drinks. "Go on, brother," he whispered.
"Keep him quiet. I'll do you a favor sometime."
Reluctantly
the little man sipped at his fresh gin-and-tonic.
The
professor took a gulp of his nth zombie. "My name's Woof-woof," he
proclaimed. "Lots of people call me Wolfe Wolf. They think that's funny.
But it's really Woof-woof. Wazoors?"
The other
paused a moment to decipher that Arabic-sounding word, then said, "Mine's
Ozymandias the Great."
'That's a
funny name."
"I
told you, I'm a magician. Only I haven't worked for a long time. Theatrical
managers are peculiar, colleague. They don't want a real magician. They won't
even let me show 'em my best stuff. Why, I remember one night in
Darjeeling—"
"Glad
to meet you, Mr...Mr.—"
"You
can call me Ozzy. Most people do."
"Glad
to meet you, Ozzy. Now, about this girl. This Gloria. Yunnerstand, donya?"
"Sure,
colleague."
"She
thinks a professor of German is nothing. She wants something glamorous. She
says if I was an actor, now, or a G-man—Yunnerstand?"
Ozymandias
the Great nodded.
"Awright,
then! So yunnerstand. Fine. But whatddayou want to keep talking about it for?
Yunnerstand. That's that. To hell with it."
Ozymandias'
round and fringed face brightened. "Sure," he said, and added
recklessly, "Let's drink to that."
They
clinked glasses and drank. Wolf carelessly tossed off a toast in Old Low
Frankish, with an unpardonable error in the use of the genitive.
The two men
next to them began singing "My Wild Irish Rose," but trailed off
disconsolately. "What we need," said the one with the derby, "is
a tenor."
"What
I need," Wolf muttered, "is a cigarette."
"Sure,"
said Ozymandias the Great. The bartender was drawing beer directly in front of
them. Ozymandias reached across the bar, removed a lighted cigarette from the
barkeep's ear, and handed it to his companion.
"Where'd
that come from?"
"I
don't quite know. All I know is how to get them. I told you I was a
magician."
"Oh. I
see. Pressajijijation."
"No.
Not a prestidigitator; I said a magician. Oh, blast it! I've done it again.
More than one gin-and-tonic and I start showing off."
"I
don't believe you," said Wolf flatly. "No such thing as magicians.
That's just as silly as Oscar Fearing and his Temple and what's so special
about April thirtieth anyway?"
The bearded
man frowned. "Please, colleague. Let's forget it."
"No. I
don't believe you. You pressajijijated that cigarette. You didn't magic
it." His voice began to rise. "You're a fake."
"Please,
brother," the barkeep whispered. "Keep him quiet."
"All
right," said Ozymandias wearily. "I'll show you something that can't
be prestidigitation." The couple adjoining had begun to sing again.
"They need a tenor. All right; listen!"
And the
sweetest, most ineffably Irish tenor ever heard joined in on the duet. The
singers didn't worry about the source; they simply accepted the new voice
gladly and were spurred on to their very best, with the result that the bar
knew the finest harmony it had heard since the night the Glee Club was
suspended en masse.
Wolf looked
impressed, but shook his head. "That's not magic either. That's
ventrocolism."
"As a
matter of strict fact, that was a street singer who was killed in the Easter
Rebellion. Fine fellow, too; never heard a better voice, unless it was that
night in Darjeeling when—"
"Fake!"
said Wolfe Wolf loudly and belligerently.
Ozymandias
once more contemplated that long index finger. He looked at the professor's
dark brows that met in a straight line over his nose. He picked his companion's
limpish hand off the bar and scrutinized the palm. The growth of hair was not
marked, but it was perceptible.
The
magician chortled. "And you sneer at magic!"
"Whasso
funny about me sneering at magic?"
Ozymandias
lowered his voice. "Because, my fine furry friend, you are a
werewolf."
The Irish
martyr had begun "Rose of Tralee," and the two mortals were joining
in valiantly.
"I'm
what?"
"A
werewolf."
"But
there isn't any such thing. Any fool knows that."
"Fools,"
said Ozymandias, "know a great deal which the wise do not. There are
werewolves. There always have been, and quite probably always will be." He
spoke as calmly and assuredly as though he were mentioning that the earth was
round. "And there are three infallible physical signs: the meeting of
eyebrows, the long index finger, the hairy palms. You have all three. And even
your name is an indication. Family names do not come from nowhere. Every Smith
has an ancestor somewhere who was a smith. Every Fisher comes from a family
that once fished. And your name is Wolf."
The
statement was so quiet, so plausible, that Wolf faltered.
"But a
werewolf is a man that changes into a wolf. I've never done that. Honest I
haven't."
"A
mammal," said Ozymandias, "is an animal that bears its young alive
and suckles them. A virgin is nonetheless a mammal. Because you have never
changed does not make you any the less a werewolf."
"But a
werewolf—" Suddenly Wolf's eyes lit up. "A werewolf! But that's even
better than a G-man! Now I can show Gloria!"
"What
on earth do you mean, colleague?"
Wolf was
climbing down from his stool. The intense excitement of this brilliant new
idea seemed to have sobered him. He grabbed the little man by the sleeve.
"Come on. We're going to find a nice quiet place. And you're going to
prove you're a magician."
"But
how?"
"You're
going to show me how to change!"
Ozymandias
finished his gin-and-tonic, and with it drowned his last regretful hesitation.
"Colleague," he announced, "you're on!"
Professor
Oscar Fearing, standing behind the curiously carved lectern of the Temple of
the Dark Truth, concluded the reading of the prayer with mumbling sonority.
"And on this night of all nights, in the name of the black light that
glows in the darkness, we give thanks!" He closed the parchment-bound book
and faced the small congregation, calling out with fierce intensity, "Who
wishes to give his thanks to the Lower Lord?"
A cushioned
dowager rose. "I give thanks!" she shrilled excitedly. "My Ming Choy
was sick, even unto death. I took of her blood and offered it to the Lower
Lord, and he had mercy and restored her to me!"
Behind the
altar an electrician checked his switches and spat disgustedly. "Bugs!
Every last one of 'em!"
The man who
was struggling into a grotesque and horrible costume paused and shrugged.
"They pay good money. What's it to us if they're bugs?"
A tall,
thin old man had risen uncertainly to his feet. "I give thanks!" he
cried. "I give thanks to the Lower Lord that I have finished my great
work. My protective screen against magnetic bombs is a tried and proven
success, to the glory of our country and science and the Lord."
"Crackpot,"
the electrician muttered.
The man in
costume peered around the altar. "Crackpot, hell! That's Chiswick from the
physics department. Think of a man like that falling for this stuff! And listen
to him: He's even telling about the government's plans for installation. You
know, I'll bet you one of these fifth columnists could pick up something around
here."
There was
silence in the Temple when the congregation had finished its thanksgiving.
Professor Fearing leaned over the lectern and spoke quietly and impressively.
"As you know, brothers in Darkness, tonight is May Eve, the thirtieth of
April, the night consecrated by the Church to that martyr missionary St.
Walpurgis, and by us to other and deeper purposes. It is on this night, and
this night only, that we may directly give our thanks to the Lower Lord
himself. Not in wanton orgy and obscenity, as the Middle Ages misconceived his
desires, but in praise and in the deep, dark joy that issues forth from
Blackness."
"Hold
your hats, boys," said the man in the costume. "Here I go
again."
"Eka!"
Fearing
thundered. "Dva tri chaturi Pancha! Shas sapta! Ashta nava dasha
ekadasha!" He paused. There was always the danger that at this moment
some scholar in this university town might recognize that the invocation,
though perfect Sanskrit, consisted solely of the numbers from one to eleven.
But no one stirred, and he launched forth in more apposite Latin: "Per
vota nostra ipse nunc surgat nobis dicatus Baal Zebub!"
"Baal
Zebub!" the congregation chorused.
"Cue,"
said the electrician, and pulled a switch.
The lights
flickered and went out. Lightning played across the sanctuary. Suddenly out of
the darkness came a sharp bark, a yelp of pain, and a long-drawn howl of
triumph.
A blue
light now began to glow dimly. In its faint reflection, the electrician was
amazed to see his costumed friend at his side, nursing his bleeding hand.
"What
the hell—" the electrician whispered.
"Hanged
if I know. I go out there on cue, all ready to make my terrifying appearance,
and what happens? Great big hell of a dog up and nips my hand. Why didn't they
tell me they'd switched the script?"
In the glow
of the blue light the congregation reverently contemplated the plump little man
with the fringe of beard and the splendid gray wolf that stood beside him.
"Hail, O Lower Lord!" resounded the chorus, drowning out one
spinster's murmur of "But my dear, I swear he was much handsomer
last year."
"Colleagues!"
said Ozymandias the Great, and there was utter silence, a dread hush awaiting
the momentous words of the Lower Lord. Ozymandias took one step forward, placed
his tongue carefully between his lips, uttered the ripest, juiciest raspberry
of his career, and vanished, wolf and all.
Wolfe Wolf
opened his eyes and shut them again hastily. He had never expected the quiet
and sedate Berkeley Inn to install centrifugal rooms. It wasn't fair. He lay in
darkness, waiting for the whirling to stop and trying to reconstruct the past
night.
He
remembered the bar all right, and the zombies. And the bartender. Very
sympathetic chap that, up until he suddenly changed into a little man with a
fringe of beard. That was where things began getting strange. There was something
about a cigarette and an Irish tenor and a werewolf. Fantastic idea, that. Any
fool knows—
Wolf sat up
suddenly. He was the werewolf. He threw back the bedclothes and stared
down at his legs. Then he sighed relief. They were long legs. They were hairy
enough. They were brown from much tennis. But they were indisputably human.
He got up,
resolutely stifling his qualms, and began to pick up the clothing that was
scattered nonchalantly about the floor. A crew of gnomes was excavating his
skull, but he hoped they might go away if he didn't pay too much attention to
them. One thing was certain: he was going to be good from now on. Gloria or no
Gloria, heartbreak or no heartbreak, drowning your sorrows wasn't good enough.
If you felt like this and could imagine you'd been a werewolf—
But why
should he have imagined it in such detail? So many fragmentary memories seemed
to come back as he dressed. Going up Strawberry Canyon with the fringed beard,
finding a desolate and isolated spot for magic, learning the words—
Hell, he
could even remember the words. The word that changed you and the one that
changed you back.
Had he made
up those words, too, in his drunken imaginings? And had he made up what he
could only barely recall—the wonderful, magical freedom of changing, the
single, sharp pang of alteration and then the boundless happiness of being
lithe and fleet and free?
He surveyed
himself in the mirror. Save for the unwonted wrinkles in his conservative
single-breasted gray suit, he looked exactly what he was: a quiet academician;
a little better built, a little more impulsive, a little more romantic than
most, perhaps, but still just that—Professor Wolf.
The rest
was nonsense. But there was, that impulsive side of him suggested, only one way
of proving the fact. And that was to say The Word.
"All
right," said Wolfe Wolf to his reflection. "I'll show you." And
he said it.
The pang
was sharper and stronger than he'd remembered. Alcohol numbs you to pain. It
tore him for a moment with an anguish like the descriptions of childbirth. Then
it was gone, and he flexed his limbs in happy amazement. But he was not a
lithe, fleet, free beast. He was a helplessly trapped wolf, irrevocably
entangled in a conservative single-breasted gray suit.
He tried to
rise and walk, but the long sleeves and legs tripped him over flat on his
muzzle. He kicked with his paws, trying to tear his way out, and then stopped.
Werewolf or
no werewolf, he was likewise still Professor Wolf, and this suit had cost
thirty-five dollars. There must be some cheaper way of securing freedom than
tearing the suit to shreds.
He used
several good, round Low German expletives. This was a complication that wasn't
in any of the werewolf legends he'd ever read. There, people just—boom!—became
wolves or-—bang!—became men again. When they were men, they wore clothes; when
they were wolves, they wore fur. Just like Hyperman becoming Bark Lent again on
top of the Empire State Building and finding his street clothes right there.
Most misleading. He began to remember now how Ozymandias the Great had made him
strip before teaching him the words—
The words!
That was it. All he had to do was say the word that changed you back—Absarka!—and
he'd be a man again, comfortably fitted inside his suit. Then he could strip
and play what games he wished. You see? Reason solves all. "Absarka!"
he said.
Or thought
he said. He went through all the proper mental processes for saying Absarka!
but all that came out of his muzzle was a sort of clicking whine. And he
was still a conservatively dressed and helpless wolf.
This was
worse than the clothes problem. If he could be released only by saying Absarka!
and if, being a wolf, he could say nothing, why, there he was.
Indefinitely. He could go find Ozzy and ask—but how could a wolf wrapped up in
a gray suit get safely out of a hotel and set out hunting for an unknown
address?
He was
trapped. He was lost. He was—
"Absarka!"
Professor
Wolfe Wolf stood up in his grievously rumpled gray suit and beamed on the
beard-fringed face of Ozymandias the Great.
"You
see, colleague," the little magician explained, "I figured you'd want
to try it again as soon as you got up, and I knew darned well you'd have your
troubles. Thought I'd come over and straighten things out for you."
Wolf lit a
cigarette in silence and handed the pack to Ozymandias. "When you came in
just now," he said at last, "what did you see?"
"You
as a wolf."
"Then
it really—I actually—"
"Sure.
You're a full-fledged werewolf, all right."
Wolf sat
down on the rumpled bed. "I guess," he ventured slowly, "I've
got to believe it. And if I believe that—But it means I've got to believe
everything I've always scorned. I've got to believe in gods and devils and
hells and—"
"You
needn't be so pluralistic. But there is a God." Ozymandias said this as
calmly and convincingly as he had stated last night that there were werewolves.
"And
if there's a God, then I've got a soul?"
"Sure."
"And
if I'm a werewolf—Hey!"
"What's
the trouble, colleague?"
"All
right, Ozzy. You know everything. Tell me this: Am I damned?"
"For
what? Just for being a werewolf? Shucks, no; let me explain. There's two kinds
of werewolves. There's the cursed kind that can't help themselves, that just go
turning into wolves without any say in the matter; and there's the voluntary kind
like you. Now, most of the voluntary kind are damned, sure, because they're
wicked men who lust for blood and eat innocent people. But they aren't damnably
wicked because they're werewolves; they became werewolves because they are
damnably wicked. Now, you changed yourself just for the hell of it and because
it looked like a good way to impress a gal; that's an innocent-enough motive,
and being a werewolf doesn't make it any less so. Werewolves don't have to be
monsters; it's just that we hear about only the ones that are."
"But
how can I be voluntary when you told me I was a werewolf before I ever
changed?"
"Not
everybody can change. It's like being able to roll your tongue or wiggle your
ears. You can, or you can't; and that's that. And as with those abilities,
there's probably a genetic factor involved, though nobody's done any serious
research on it. You were a werewolf in posse; now you're one in
esse."
"Then
it's all right? I can be a werewolf just for having fun, and it's safe?"
"Absolutely."
Wolf
chortled. "Will I show Gloria! Dull and unglamorous indeed! Anybody can
marry an actor or a G-man; but a werewolf—"
"Your
children probably will be, too," said Ozymandias cheerfully.
Wolf shut his
eyes dreamily, then opened them with a start. "You know what?"
"What?"
"I
haven't got a hangover anymore! This is marvelous. This is—Why, this is
practical. At last the perfect hangover cure. Shuffle yourself into a wolf and
back and—Oh, that reminds me. How do I get back?"
"Absarka."
"I
know. But when I'm a wolf I can't say it."
"That,"
said Ozymandias sadly, "is the curse of being a white magician. You keep
having to use the second-best form of spells, because the best would be black.
Sure, a black-magic werebeast can turn himself back whenever he wants to. I
remember in Darjeeling—"
"But
how about me?"
"That's
the trouble. You have to have somebody to say Absarka! for you. That's
what I did last night, or do you remember? After we broke up the party at your
friend's Temple—Tell you what. I'm retired now, and I've got enough to live on
modestly because I can always magic up a little—Are you going to take up
werewolfing seriously?"
"For a
while, anyway. Till I get Gloria."
"Then
why shouldn't I come and live here in your hotel? Then I'll always be handy to Absarka!
you. After you get the girl, you can teach her."
Wolf
extended his hand. "Noble of you. Shake." And then his eye caught his
wrist watch. "Good Lord! I've missed two classes this morning.
Werewolfing's all very well, but a man's got to work for his living."
"Most
men." Ozymandias calmly reached his hand into the air and plucked a coin.
He looked at it ruefully, it was a gold moidore. "Hang these spirits; I
simply cannot explain to them about gold being illegal."
From Los
Angeles, Wolf thought, with the habitual contempt of the northern Californian,
as he surveyed the careless sport coat and the bright-yellow shirt of his
visitor.
This young
man rose politely as the professor entered the office. His green eyes gleamed
cordially and his red hair glowed in the spring sunlight. "Professor
Wolf?" he asked.
Wolf
glanced impatiently at his desk. "Yes."
"O'Breen's
the name. I'd like to talk to you a minute."
"My
office hours are from three to four Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'm afraid I'm
rather busy now."
"This
isn't faculty business. And it's important." The young man's attitude was
affable and casual, but he managed nonetheless to convey a sense of urgency
that piqued Wolf's curiosity. The all-important letter to Gloria had waited
while he took two classes; it could wait another five minutes.
"Very
well, Mr. O'Breen."
"And
alone, if you please."
Wolf
himself hadn't noticed that Emily was in the room. He now turned to the
secretary and said, "All right. If you don't mind, Emily—"
Emily
shrugged and went out.
"Now,
sir. What is this important and secret business?"
"Just
a question or two. To start with, how well do you know Gloria Garton?"
Wolf
paused. You could hardly say, "Young man, I am about to repropose to her
in view of my becoming a werewolf." Instead he simply said—the truth, if
not the whole truth—"She was a pupil of mine a few years ago."
"I
said do, not did. How well do you know her now?"
"And
why should I bother to answer such a question?"
The young
man handed over a card. Wolf read:
FERGUS
O'BREEN
Private
Inquiry Agent
Licensed by
the State of California
Wolf
smiled. "And what does this mean? Divorce evidence? Isn't that the usual
field of private inquiry agents?"
"Miss
Garton isn't married, as you probably know very well. I'm just asking if you've
been in touch with her much lately."
"And
I'm simply asking why you should want to know."
O'Breen
rose and began to pace around the office. "We don't seem to be getting
very far, do we? I'm to take it that you refuse to state the nature of your
relations with Gloria Garton?"
"I see
no reason why I should do otherwise." Wolf was beginning to be annoyed.
To his
surprise, the detective relaxed into a broad grin. "OK. Let it ride. Tell
me about your department. How long have the various faculty members been
here?"
"Instructors
and all?"
"Just
the professors."
"I've
been here for seven years. All the others at least a good ten, probably more.
If you want exact figures, you can probably get them from the dean, unless, as
I hope"—Wolf smiled cordially—"he throws you out flat on your red pate."
O'Breen
laughed. "Professor, I think we could get on. One more question, and you
can do some pate-tossing yourself. Are you an American citizen?"
"Of
course."
"And
the rest of the department?"
"All
of them. And now would you have the common decency to give me some explanation
of this fantastic farrago of questions?"
"No,"
said O'Breen casually. "Goodbye, professor." His alert green eyes had
been roaming about the room, sharply noticing everything. Now, as he left, they
rested on Wolf's long index finger, moved up to his heavy meeting eyebrows, and
returned to the finger. There was a suspicion of a startled realization in
those eyes as he left the office.
But that
was nonsense, Wolf told himself. A private detective, no matter how shrewd his
eyes, no matter how apparently meaningless his inquiries, would surely be the
last man on earth to notice the signs of lycanthropy.
Funny.
"Werewolf" was a word you could accept. You could say, "I'm a
werewolf," and it was all right. But say "I am a lycanthrope"
and your flesh crawled. Odd. Possibly material for a paper on the influence of
etymology on connotation for one of the learned periodicals.
But, hell!
Wolfe Wolf was no longer primarily a scholar. He was a werewolf now, a
white-magic werewolf, a werewolf-for-fun; and fun he was going to have. He lit
his pipe, stared at the blank paper on his desk, and tried desperately to draft
a letter to Gloria. It should hint at just enough to fascinate her and hold her
interest until he could go south when the term ended and reveal to her the
whole wonderful new truth. It—
Professor
Oscar Fearing grunted his ponderous way into the office. "Good afternoon,
Wolfe. Hard at it, my boy?"
"Afternoon,"
Wolf replied distractedly, and continued to stare at the paper.
"Great
events coming, eh? Are you looking forward to seeing the glorious Gloria?"
Wolf
started. "How—What do you mean?"
Fearing
handed him a folded newspaper. "You hadn't heard?"
Wolf read
with growing amazement and delight:
GLORIA
GARTON TO ARRIVE FRIDAY
Local Girl
Returns to Berkeley
As part of
the most spectacular talent hunt since the search for Scarlett O'Hara, Gloria
Garton, glamorous Metropolis starlet, will visit Berkeley Friday.
Friday
afternoon at the Campus Theater, Berkeley canines will have their chance to
compete in the nationwide quest for a dog to play Tookah the wolf dog in the
great Metropolis epic "Fangs of the Forest," and Gloria Garton
herself will be present at the auditions.
"I owe
so much to Berkeley," Miss Garton said. "It will mean so much to me
to see the campus and the city again." Miss Garton has the starring human
role in "Fangs of the Forest."
Miss Garton
was a student at the University of California when she received her first
chance in films. She is a member of Mask and Dagger, honorary dramatic society,
and Rho Rho Rho Sorority.
Wolfe Wolf
glowed. This was perfect. No need now to wait till term was over. He could see
Gloria now and claim her in all his wolfish vigor. Friday—today was Wednesday;
that gave him two nights to practice and perfect the technique of werewolfry.
And then—
He noticed
the dejected look on the older professor's face, and a small remorse smote
him. "How did things go last night, Oscar?" he asked sympathetically.
"How were your big Walpurgis Night services?"
Fearing
regarded him oddly. "You know that now? Yesterday April thirtieth meant
nothing to you."
"I got
curious and looked it up. But how did it go?"
"Well
enough," Fearing lied feebly. "Do you know, Wolfe," he demanded
after a moment's silence, "what is the real curse of every man interested
in the occult?"
"No.
What?"
"That
true power is never enough. Enough for yourself, perhaps, but never enough for
others. So that no matter what your true abilities, you must forge on beyond
them into charlatanry to convince the others. Look at St. Germain. Look at
Francis Stuart. Look at Cagliostro. But the worst tragedy is the next stage:
when you realize that your powers were greater than you supposed and that the
charlatanry was needless. When you realize that you have no notion of the
extent of your powers. Then—"
"Then,
Oscar?"
"Then,
my boy, you are a badly frightened man."
Wolf wanted
to say something consoling. He wanted to say, "Look, Oscar. It was just
me. Go back to your half-hearted charlatanry and be happy." But he
couldn't do that. Only Ozzy could know the truth of that splendid gray wolf.
Only Ozzy and Gloria.
The moon
was bright on that hidden spot in the canyon. The night was still. And Wolfe
Wolf had a severe case of stage fright. Now that it came to the real thing—for
this morning's clothes-complicated fiasco hardly counted and last night he
could not truly remember—he was afraid to plunge cleanly into wolfdom and
anxious to stall and talk as long as possible.
"Do
you think," he asked the magician nervously, "that I could teach
Gloria to change, too?"
Ozymandias
pondered. "Maybe, colleague. It'd depend. She might have the natural
ability, and she might not. And, of course, there's no telling what she might
change into."
"You
mean she wouldn't necessarily be a wolf?"
"Of
course not. The people who can change, change into all sorts of things. And
every folk knows best the kind that most interests it. We've got an English and
Central European tradition, so we know mostly about werewolves. But take
Scandinavia and you'll hear chiefly about werebears, only they call 'em
berserkers. And Orientals, now, they're apt to know about weretigers. Trouble
is, we've thought so much about werewolves that that's all we know the
signs for; I wouldn't know how to spot a weretiger just offhand."
"Then
there's no telling what might happen if I taught her The Word?"
"Not
the least. Of course, there's some werethings that just aren't much use being.
Take like being a wereant. You change and somebody steps on you and that's
that. Or like a fella I knew once in Madagascar. Taught him The Word, and know
what? Hanged if he wasn't a werediplodocus. Shattered the whole house into
little pieces when he changed and damned near trampled me under hoof before I
could say Absarka! He decided not to make a career of it. Or then there
was that time in Darjeeling—But, look, colleague, are you going to stand around
here naked all night?"
"No,"
said Wolf. "I'm going to change now. You'll take my clothes back to the
hotel?"
"Sure.
They'll be there for you. And I've put a very small spell on the night clerk,
just enough for him not to notice wolves wandering in. Oh, and by the
way—anything missing from your room?"
"Not
that I noticed. Why?"
"Because
I thought I saw somebody come out of it this afternoon. Couldn't be sure, but I
think he came from there. Young fella with red hair and Hollywood
clothes."
Wolfe Wolf
frowned. That didn't make sense. Pointless questions from a detective were bad
enough, but searching your hotel room—But what were detectives to a
full-fledged werewolf? He grinned, nodded a friendly goodbye to Ozymandias the
Great, and said The Word.
The pain
wasn't so sharp as this morning, though still quite bad enough. But it passed almost
at once, and his whole body filled with a sense of limitless freedom. He
lifted his snout and sniffed deep at the keen freshness of this night air. A
whole new realm of pleasure opened up for him through this acute new nose
alone. He wagged his tail amicably at Ozzy and set off up the canyon on a long,
easy lope.
For hours,
loping was enough—simply and purely enjoying one's wolfness was the finest
pleasure one could ask. Wolf left the canyon and turned up into the hills, past
the Big C and on into noble wildness that seemed far remote from all campus
civilization. His brave new legs were stanch and tireless, his wind seemingly
inexhaustible. Every turning brought fresh and vivid scents of soil and leaves
and air, and life was shimmering and beautiful.
But a few
hours of this, and Wolf realized that he was damned lonely. All this grand
exhilaration was very well, but if his mate Gloria were loping by his side—And
what fun was it to be something as splendid as a wolf if no one admired you? He
began to want people, and he turned back to the city.
Berkeley
goes to bed early. The streets were deserted. Here and there a light burned in
a rooming house where some solid grind was plodding on his almost-due term
paper. Wolf had done that himself. He couldn't laugh in this shape, but his
tail twitched with amusement at the thought.
He paused
along the tree-lined street. There was a fresh human scent here, though the
street seemed empty. Then he heard a soft whimpering, and trotted off toward
the noise.
Behind the
shrubbery fronting an apartment house sat a disconsolate two-year-old,
shivering in his sunsuit and obviously lost for hours on hours. Wolf put a paw
on the child's shoulder and shook him gently.
The boy
looked around and was not in the least afraid. "He'o," he said,
brightening up.
Wolf
growled a cordial greeting, and wagged his tail and pawed at the ground to
indicate that he'd take the lost infant wherever it wanted to go.
The child
stood up and wiped away its tears with a dirty fist which left wide black
smudges. "Tootootootoo!" he said.
Games,
thought Wolf. He wants to play choo-choo. He took the child by the sleeve and
tugged gently.
"Tootootootoo!"
the boy repeated firmly. "Die way."
The sound
of a railway whistle, to be sure, does die away; but this seemed a poetic
expression for such a toddler. Wolf thought, and then abruptly would have
snapped his fingers if he'd had them. The child was saying "2222 Dwight
Way," having been carefully brought up to tell his address when lost. Wolf
glanced up at the street sign. Bowditch and Hillegas; 2222 Dwight would be just
a couple of blocks.
Wolf tried
to nod his head, but the muscles didn't seem to work that way. Instead he
wagged his tail in what he hoped indicated comprehension, and started off
leading the child.
The infant
beamed and said, "Nice woof-woof."
For an
instant Wolf felt like a spy suddenly addressed by his right name, then
realized that if some say "bow-wow" others might well say
"woof-woof."
He led the
child for two blocks without event. It felt good, having an innocent human
being like this. There was something about children; he hoped Gloria felt the
same. He wondered what would happen if he could teach this confiding infant The
Word. It would be swell to have a pup that would—
He paused.
His nose twitched and the hair on the back of his neck rose. Ahead of them
stood a dog: a huge mongrel, seemingly a mixture of St. Bernard and Husky. But
the growl that issued from his throat indicated that carrying brandy kegs or
rushing serum was not for him. He was a bandit, an outlaw, an enemy of man and
dog. And they had to pass him.
Wolf had no
desire to fight. He was as big as this monster and certainly, with his human
brain, much cleverer; but scars from a dog fight would not look well on the
human body of Professor Wolf, and there was, moreover, the danger of hurting
the toddler in the fracas. It would be wiser to cross the street. But before he
could steer the child that way, the mongrel brute had charged at them, yapping
and snarling.
Wolf placed
himself in front of the boy, poised and ready to leap in defense. The scar
problem was secondary to the fact that this baby had trusted him. He was ready
to face this cur and teach him a lesson, at whatever cost to his own human
body. But halfway to him the huge dog stopped. His growls died away to a
piteous whimper. His great flanks trembled in the moonlight. His tail curled
craven between his legs. And abruptly he turned and fled.
The child
crowed delightedly. "Bad woof-woof go away." He put his little arms
around Wolf's neck. "Nice woof-woof." Then he straightened up
and said insistently, "Tootootootoo. Die way," and Wolf led on, his
strong wolf's heart pounding as it had never pounded at the embrace of a woman.
"Tootootootoo"
was a small frame house set back from the street in a large yard. The lights
were still on, and even from the sidewalk Wolf could hear a woman's shrill
voice.
"—Since
five o'clock this afternoon, and you've got to find him, Officer. You simply
must. We've hunted all over the neighborhood and—"
Wolf stood
up against the wall on his hind legs and rang the doorbell with his front right
paw.
"Oh!
Maybe that's somebody now. The neighbors said they'd—Come, Officer, and let's
see—Oh!"
At the same
moment Wolf barked politely, the toddler yelled "Mamma!" and his thin
and worn-looking young mother let out a scream—half delight at finding her
child and half terror of this large gray canine shape that loomed behind him.
She snatched up the infant protectively and turned to the large man in uniform.
"Officer! Look! That big dreadful thing! It stole my Robby!"
"No,"
Robby protested firmly. "Nice woof-woof."
The officer
laughed. "The lad's probably right, ma'am. It is a nice woof-woof.
Found your boy wandering around and helped him home. You haven't maybe got a
bone for him?"
"Let that
big, nasty brute into my home? Never! Come on, Robby."
"Want
my nice woof-woof."
"I'll
woof-woof you, staying out till all hours and giving your father and me the
fright of our lives. Just wait till your father sees you, young man; he'll—Oh,
good night, Officer!" And she shut the door on the yowls of Robby.
The
policeman patted Wolf's head. "Never mind about the bone, Rover. She
didn't so much as offer me a glass of beer, either. My, you're a husky
specimen, aren't you, boy? Look almost like a wolf. Who do you belong to, and
what are you doing wandering about alone? Huh?" He turned on his flash and
bent over to look at the nonexistent collar.
He
straightened up and whistled. "No license. Rover, that's bad. You know
what I ought to do? I ought to turn you in. If you weren't a hero that just got
cheated out of his bone, I'd—Hell, I ought to do it, anyway. Laws are laws,
even for heroes. Come on, Rover. We're going for a walk."
Wolf
thought quickly. The pound was the last place on earth he wanted to wind up.
Even Ozzy would never think of looking for him there. Nobody'd claim him,
nobody'd say Absarka! and in the end a dose of chloroform—He wrenched
loose from the officer's grasp on his hair and with one prodigious leap cleared
the yard, landed on the sidewalk, and started hell for leather up the street.
But the instant he was out of the officer's sight he stopped dead and slipped
behind a hedge.
He scented
the policeman's approach even before he heard it. The man was running with the
lumbering haste of two hundred pounds. But opposite the hedge, he too stopped.
For a moment Wolf wondered if his ruse had failed; but the officer had paused
only to scratch his head and mutter, "Say! There's something screwy here. Who
rang that doorbell? The kid couldn't reach it, and the dog—Oh, well,"
he concluded. "Nuts," and seemed to find in that monosyllabic
summation the solution to all his problems.
As his
footsteps and smell died away, Wolf became aware of another scent. He had only
just identified it as cat when someone said, "You're were, aren't
you?"
Wolf
started up, lips drawn back and muscles tense. There was nothing human in
sight, but someone had spoken to him. Unthinkingly, he tried to say "Where
are you?" but all that came out was a growl.
"Right
behind you. Here in the shadows. You can scent me, can't you?"
"But
you're a cat," Wolf thought in his snarls. "And you're talking."
"Of
course. But I'm not talking human language. It's just your brain that takes it
that way. If you had your human body, you'd think I was just going meowrr. But
you are were, aren't you?"
"How
do you...why do you think so?"
"Because
you didn't try to jump me, as any normal dog would have. And besides, unless
Confucius taught me all wrong, you're a wolf, not a dog; and we don't have
wolves around here unless they're were."
"How
do you know all this? Are you—"
"Oh,
no. I'm just a cat. But I used to live next door to a werechow named Confucius.
He taught me things."
Wolf was
amazed. "You mean he was a man who changed to chow and stayed that way?
Lived as a pet?"
"Certainly.
This was back at the worst of the depression. He said a dog was more apt to be
fed and looked after than a man. I thought it was a smart idea."
"But
how terrible! Could a man so debase himself as—"
"Men
don't debase themselves. They debase each other. That's the way of most weres.
Some change to keep from being debased, others to do a little more effective
debasing. Which are you?"
"Why,
you see, I—"
"Sh!
Look.
This is going to be fun. Holdup."
Wolf peered
around the hedge. A well-dressed, middle-aged man was walking along briskly,
apparently enjoying a night constitutional. Behind him moved a thin, silent
figure. Even as Wolf watched, the figure caught up with him and whispered
harshly, "Up with 'em, buddy!"
The quiet
pomposity of the stroller melted away. He was ashen and aspen as the figure
slipped a hand around into his breast pocket and removed an impressive wallet.
And what,
thought Wolf, was the good of his fine, vigorous body if it merely crouched
behind hedges as a spectator? In one fine bound, to the shocked amazement of
the were-wise cat, he had crossed the hedge and landed with his forepaws full
in the figure's face. It went over backward with him on top, and then there
came a loud noise, a flash of light, and a frightful sharp smell. For a moment
Wolf felt an acute pang in his shoulder, like the jab of a long needle, and
then the pain was gone.
But his
momentary recoil had been enough to let the figure get to its feet.
"Missed you, huh?" it muttered. "Let's see how you like a slug
in the belly, you interfering—" and he applied an epithet that would have
been purely literal description if Wolf had not been were.
There were
three quick shots in succession even as Wolf sprang. For a second he
experienced the most acute stomach-ache of his life. Then he landed again. The
figure's head hit the concrete sidewalk and he was still.
Lights were
leaping into brightness everywhere. Among all the confused noises, Wolf could
hear the shrill complaints of Robby's mother, and among all the compounded
smells, he could distinguish scent of the policeman who wanted to impound him.
That meant getting the hell out, and quick.
The city
meant trouble, Wolf decided as he loped off. He could endure loneliness while
he practiced his wolfry, until he had Gloria. Though just as a precaution he
must arrange with Ozzy about a plausible-looking collar, and—
The most
astounding realization yet suddenly struck him! He had received four bullets,
three of them square in the stomach, and he hadn't a wound to show for it!
Being a werewolf certainly offered its practical advantages. Think what a
criminal could do with such bullet-proofing. Or—But no. He was a werewolf for
fun, and that was that.
But even
for a werewolf, being shot, though relatively painless, is tiring. A great deal
of nervous energy is absorbed in the magical and instantaneous knitting of
those wounds. And when Wolfe Wolf reached the peace and calm of the uncivilized
hills, he no longer felt like reveling in freedom. Instead he stretched out to
his full length, nuzzled his head down between his forepaws, and slept.
"Now,
the essence of magic," said Heliophagus of Smyrna, "is deceit; and
that deceit is of two kinds. By magic, the magician deceives others; but magic
deceives the magician himself."
So far the
lycanthropic magic of Wolfe Wolf had worked smoothly and pleasantly, but now it
was to show him the second trickery that lurks behind every magic trick. And
the first step was that he slept.
He woke in
confusion. His dreams had been human—and of Gloria—despite the body in which he
dreamed them, and it took several full minutes for him to reconstruct just how
he happened to be in that body. For a moment the dream, even that episode in
which he and Gloria had been eating blueberry waffles on a roller coaster,
seemed more sanely plausible than the reality.
But he
readjusted quickly, and glanced up at the sky. The sun looked as though it had
been up at least an hour, which meant in May that the time was somewhere
between six and seven. Today was Thursday, which meant that he was saddled with
an eight-o'clock class. That left plenty of time to change back, shave, dress, breakfast,
and resume the normal life of Professor Wolf—which was, after all, important if
he intended to support a wife.
He tried,
as he trotted through the streets, to look as tame and unwolflike as possible,
and apparently succeeded. No one paid him any mind save children, who wanted to
play, and dogs, who began by snarling and ended by cowering away terrified. His
friend the cat might be curiously tolerant of weres, but not so dogs.
He trotted
up the steps of the Berkeley Inn confidently. The clerk was under a slight
spell and would not notice wolves. There was nothing to do but rouse Ozzy, be Absarka!'d
and—
"Hey!
Where are you going? Get out of here! Shoo!"
It was the
clerk, a stanch and brawny young man, who straddled the stairway and vigorously
waved him off.
"No
dogs in here! Go on now. Scoot!"
Quite
obviously this man was under no spell, and equally obviously there was no way
of getting up that staircase short of using a wolf's strength to tear the clerk
apart. For a second Wolf hesitated. He had to get changed back. It would be a
damnable pity to use his powers to injure another human being. If only he had
not slept, and arrived before this unmagicked day clerk came on duty; but
necessity knows no—
Then the
solution hit him. Wolf turned and loped off just as the clerk hurled an ash
tray at him. Bullets may be relatively painless, but even a werewolf's rump, he
learned promptly, is sensitive to flying glass.
The
solution was foolproof. The only trouble was that it meant an hour's wait, and
he was hungry. Damnably hungry. He found himself even displaying a certain
shocking interest in the plump occupant of a baby carriage. You do get
different appetites with a different body. He could understand how some
originally well-intentioned werewolves might in time become monsters. But he
was stronger in will, and much smarter. His stomach could hold out until this
plan worked.
The janitor
had already opened the front door of Wheeler Hall, but the building was
deserted. Wolf had no trouble reaching the second floor unnoticed or finding
his classroom. He had a little more trouble holding the chalk between his teeth
and a slight tendency to gag on the dust; but by balancing his forepaws on the
eraser trough, he could manage quite nicely. It took three springs to catch the
ring of the chart in his teeth, but once that was pulled down there was nothing
to do but crouch under the desk and pray that he would not starve quite to
death.
The
students of German 31B, as they assembled reluctantly for their eight-o'clock,
were a little puzzled at being confronted by a chart dealing with the influence
of the gold standard on world economy, but they decided simply that the janitor
had been forgetful.
The wolf
under the desk listened unseen to their gathering murmurs, overheard that cute
blonde in the front row make dates with three different men for that same
night, and finally decided that enough had assembled to make his chances
plausible. He slipped out from under the desk far enough to reach the ring of
the chart, tugged at it, and let go.
The chart
flew up with a rolling crash. The students broke off their chatter, looked up
at the blackboard, and beheld in a huge and shaky scrawl the mysterious
letters
A B S A R
K A
It worked.
With enough people, it was an almost mathematical certainty that one of them in
his puzzlement—for the race of subtitle readers, though handicapped by the
talkies, still exists—would read the mysterious word aloud. It was the
much-bedated blonde who did it.
"Absarka"
she
said wonderingly.
And there
was Professor Wolfe Wolf, beaming cordially at his class.
The only
flaw was this: He had forgotten that he was only a werewolf, and not Hyperman.
His clothes were still at the Berkeley Inn, and here on the lecture platform he
was stark naked.
Two of his
best pupils screamed and one fainted. The blonde only giggled appreciatively.
Emily was
incredulous but pitying.
Professor
Fearing was sympathetic but reserved.
The
chairman of the department was cool.
The dean of
letters was chilly.
The
president of the university was frigid.
Wolfe Wolf
was unemployed.
And
Heliophagus of Smyrna was right. "The essence of magic is deceit."
"But
what can I do?" Wolf moaned into his zombie glass. "I'm stuck. I'm
stymied. Gloria arrives in Berkeley tomorrow, and here I am—nothing. Nothing
but a futile, worthless werewolf. You can't support a wife on that. You can't
raise a family. You can't—Hell, you can't even propose...I want another. Sure
you won't have one?"
Ozymandias
the Great shook his round, fringed head. "The last time I took two drinks
I started all this. I've got to behave if I want to stop it. But you're an
able-bodied, strapping young man; surely, colleague, you can get work?"
"Where?
All I'm trained for is academic work, and this scandal has put the kibosh on
that forever. What university is going to hire a man who showed up naked in
front of his class without even the excuse of being drunk? And supposing I try
something else—say one of these jobs in defense that all my students seem to be
getting—I'd have to give references, say something about what I'd been doing
with my thirty-odd years. And once these references were checked—Ozzy, I'm a
lost man."
"Never
despair, colleague. I've learned that magic gets you into some tight squeezes,
but there's always a way of getting out. Now, take that time in Darjeeling—"
"But
what can I do? I'll wind up like Confucius the werechow and live off charity,
if you'll find me somebody who wants a pet wolf."
"You
know," Ozymandias reflected, "you may have something there,
colleague."
"Nuts!
That was a joke. I can at least retain my self-respect, even if I go on relief
doing it. And I'll bet they don't like naked men on relief, either."
"No. I
don't mean just being a pet wolf. But look at it this way: What are your
assets? You have only two outstanding abilities. One of them is to teach
German, and that is now completely out."
"Check."
"And
the other is to change yourself into a wolf. All right, colleague. There must
be some commercial possibilities in that. Let's look into them."
"Nonsense."
"Not
quite. For every kind of merchandise there's a market. The trick is to find it.
And you, colleague, are going to be the first practical commercial werewolf on
record."
"I
could—They say Ripley's Odditorium pays good money. Supposing I changed six
times a day regular for delighted audiences?"
Ozymandias
shook his head sorrowfully. "It's no good. People don't want to see real
magic. It makes 'em uncomfortable—starts 'em wondering what else might be loose
in the world. They've got to feel sure it's all done with mirrors. I know. I
had to quit vaudeville because I wasn't smart enough at faking it; all I could
do was the real thing."
"I
could be a Seeing Eye dog, maybe?"
"They
have to be female."
"When
I'm changed I can understand animal language. Maybe I could be a dog trainer
and—No, that's out. I forgot: they're scared to death of me."
But
Ozymandias' pale-blue eyes had lit up at the suggestion. "Colleague,
you're warm. Oh, are you warm! Tell me: why did you say your fabulous Gloria
was coming to Berkeley?"
"Publicity
for a talent hunt."
"For
what?"
"A dog
to star in Fangs of the Forest."
"And
what kind of a dog?"
"A—"
Wolf's eyes widened and his jaw sagged. "A wolf dog," he said softly.
And the two
men looked at each other with a wild surmise—silent, beside a bar in Berkeley.
"It's
all the fault of that damned Disney dog," the trainer complained.
"Pluto does anything. Everything. So our poor mutts are expected to do
likewise. Listen to that dope! The dog should come into the room, give one paw
to the baby, indicate that he recognizes the hero in his Eskimo disguise, go
over to the table, find the bone, and clap his paws gleefully!' Now, who's got
a set of signals to cover stuff like that? Pluto's" he snorted.
Gloria
Garton said, "Oh." By that one sound she managed to convey that she
sympathized deeply, that the trainer was a nice-looking young man whom she'd
just as soon see again, and that no dog star was going to steal Fangs of the
Forest from her. She adjusted her skirt slightly, leaned back, and made the
plain wooden chair on the bare theater stage seem more than ever like a throne.
"All
right." The man in the violet beret waved away the last unsuccessful applicant
and read from a card: " 'Dog: Wopsy. Owner: Mrs. Channing Galbraith.
Trainer: Luther Newby.' Bring it in."
An
assistant scurried offstage, and there was a sound of whines and whimpers as a
door opened.
"What's
got into those dogs today?" the man in the violet beret demanded.
"They all seem scared to death and beyond."
"I
think," said Fergus O'Breen, "that it's that big gray wolf dog.
Somehow, the others just don't like him."
Gloria
Garton lowered her bepurpled lids and cast a queenly stare of suspicion on the
young detective. There was nothing wrong with his being there. His sister was
head of publicity for Metropolis, and he'd handled several confidential cases
for the studio; even one for her, that time her chauffeur had decided to try
his hand at blackmail. Fergus O'Breen was a Metropolis fixture; but still it
bothered her.
The
assistant brought in Mrs. Galbraith's Wopsy. The man in the violet beret took
one look and screamed. The scream bounced back from every wall of the theater
in the ensuing minute of silence. At last he found words. "A wolf dog!
Tookah is the greatest role ever written for a wolf dog! And what do they bring
us? A terrier, yet! So if we wanted a terrier we could cast Asta!"
"But
if you'd only let us show you—"Wopsy's tall young trainer started to
protest.
"Get
out!" the man in the violet beret shrieked. "Get out before I lose my
temper!"
Wopsy and
her trainer slunk off.
"In El
Paso," the casting director lamented, "they bring me a Mexican hairless.
In St. Louis it's a Pekinese yet! And if I do find a wolf dog, it sits in a
corner and waits for somebody to bring it a sled to pull."
"Maybe,"
said Fergus, "you should try a real wolf."
"Wolf,
schmolf! We'll end up wrapping John Barrymore in a wolfskin." He
picked up the next card. " 'Dog: Yoggoth. Owner and trainer: Mr. O. Z.
Manders.' Bring it in."
The whining
noise offstage ceased as Yoggoth was brought out to be tested. The man in the
violet beret hardly glanced at the fringe-bearded owner and trainer. He had
eyes only for that splendid gray wolf. "If you can only act..." he
prayed, with the same fervor with which many a man has thought, If you could
only cook...
He pulled
the beret to an even more unlikely angle and snapped, "All right, Mr.
Manders. The dog should come into the room, give one paw to the baby, indicate
that he recognizes the hero in his Eskimo disguise, go over to the table, find
the bone, and clap his paws joyfully. Baby here, hero here, table here. Got
that?"
Mr. Manders
looked at his wolf dog and repeated, "Got that?"
Yoggoth
wagged his tail.
"Very
well, colleague," said Mr. Manders. "Do it."
Yoggoth did
it.
The violet
beret sailed into the flies, on the wings of its owner's triumphal scream of
joy. "He did it!" he kept burbling. "He did it!"
"Of
course, colleague," said Mr. Manders calmly.
The trainer
who hated Pluto had a face as blank as a vampire's mirror. Fergus O'Breen was
speechless with wonderment. Even Gloria Garton permitted surprise and interest
to cross her regal mask.
"You
mean he can do anything?" gurgled the man who used to have a violet beret.
"Anything,"
said Mr. Manders.
"Can
he—Let's see, in the dance-hall sequence...can he knock a man down, roll him
over, and frisk his back pocket?"
Even before
Mr. Manders could say "Of course," Yoggoth had demonstrated, using
Fergus O'Breen as a convenient dummy
"Peace!"
the casting director sighed. "Peace...Charley!" he yelled to his
assistant. "Send 'em all away. No more tryouts. We've found Tookah! It's
wonderful."
The trainer
stepped up to Mr. Manders. "It's more than that, sir. It's positively superhuman.
I'll swear I couldn't detect the slightest signal, and for such complicated
operations, too. Tell me, Mr. Manders, what system do you use?"
Mr. Manders
made a Hoople-ish kaff-kaff noise. "Professional secret, you
understand, young man. I'm planning on opening a school when I retire, but obviously
until then—"
"Of
course, sir. I understand. But I've never seen anything like it in all my born
days."
"I
wonder," Fergus O'Breen observed abstractly from the floor, "if your
marvel dog can get off of people, too?"
Mr. Manders
stifled a grin. "Of course! Yoggoth!"
Fergus
picked himself up and dusted from his clothes the grime of the stage, which is
the most clinging grime on earth. "I'd swear," he muttered,
"that beast of yours enjoyed that."
"No
hard feelings, I trust, Mr.—"
"O'Breen.
None at all. In fact, I'd suggest a little celebration in honor of this great
event. I know you can't buy a drink this near the campus, so I brought along a
bottle just in case."
"Oh,"
said Gloria Garton, implying that carousals were ordinarily beneath her; that
this, however, was a special occasion; and that possibly there was something
to be said for the green-eyed detective after all.
This was
all too easy, Wolfe Wolf—Yoggoth kept thinking. There was a catch to it
somewhere. This was certainly the ideal solution to the problem of how to earn
money as a werewolf. Bring an understanding of human speech and instructions
into a fine animal body, and you are the answer to a director's prayer. It was
perfect as long as it lasted; and if Fangs of the Forest was a smash
hit, there were bound to be other Yoggoth pictures. Look at Rin-Tin-Tin. But it
was too easy...
His ears
caught a familiar "Oh," and his attention reverted to Gloria. This
"Oh" had meant that she really shouldn't have another drink, but
since liquor didn't affect her anyway and this was a special occasion, she
might as well.
She was
even more beautiful than he had remembered. Her golden hair was shoulder-length
now, and flowed with such rippling perfection that it was all he could do to
keep from reaching out a paw to it. Her body had ripened, too; was even more
warm and promising than his memories of her. And in his new shape he found her
greatest charm in something he had not been able to appreciate fully as a human
being: the deep, heady scent of her flesh.
"To Fangs
of the Forest?" Fergus O'Breen was toasting. "And may that
pretty-boy hero of yours get a worse mauling than I did."
Wolf-Yoggoth
grinned to himself. That had been fun. That'd teach the detective to go
crawling around hotel rooms.
"And
while we're celebrating, colleagues," said Ozymandias the Great, "why
should we neglect our star? Here, Yoggoth." And he held out the bottle.
"He
drinks, yet!" the casting director exclaimed delightedly.
"Sure.
He was weaned on it."
Wolf took a
sizable gulp. It felt good. Warm and rich—almost the way Gloria smelled.
"But
how about you, Mr. Manders?" the detective insisted for the fifth time.
"It's your celebration really. The poor beast won't get the four-figure
checks from Metropolis. And you've taken only one drink."
"Never
take two, colleague. I know my danger point. Two drinks in me and things start
happening."
"More
should happen yet than training miracle dogs? Go on, O'Breen. Make him drink.
We should see what happens."
Fergus took
another long drink himself. "Go on. There's another bottle in the car, and
I've gone far enough to be resolved not to leave here sober. And I don't want
sober companions, either." His green eyes were already beginning to glow
with a new wildness.
"No,
thank you, colleague."
Gloria
Garton left her throne, walked over to the plump man, and stood close, her soft
hand resting on his arm. "Oh," she said, implying that dogs were
dogs, but still that the party was unquestionably in her honor and his refusal
to drink was a personal insult.
Ozymandias
the Great looked at Gloria, sighed, shrugged, resigned himself to fate, and
drank.
"Have
you trained many dogs?" the casting director asked.
"Sorry,
colleague. This is my first."
"All
the more wonderful! But what's your profession otherwise?"
"Well,
you see, I'm a magician."
"Oh,"
said Gloria Garton, implying delight, and went so far as to add, "I have a
friend who does black magic."
"I'm
afraid, ma'am, mine's simply white. That's tricky enough. With the black you're
in for some real dangers."
"Hold
on!" Fergus interposed. "You mean really a magician? Not just
presti...sleight of hand?"
"Of
course, colleague."
"Good
theater," said the casting director. "Never let 'em see the
mirrors."
"Uh-huh,"
Fergus nodded. "But look, Mr. Manders. What can you do, for
instance?"
"Well,
I can change—"
Yoggoth
barked loudly.
"Oh,
no," Ozymandias covered hastily, "that's really a little beyond me.
But I can—"
"Can
you do the Indian rope trick?" Gloria asked languidly. "My friend
says that's terribly hard."
"Hard?
Why, ma'am, there's nothing to it. I can remember that time in
Darjeeling—"
Fergus took
another long drink. "I," he announced defiantly, "want to see
the Indian rope trick. I have met people who've met people who've met people
who've seen it, but that's as close as I ever get. And I don't believe
it."
"But,
colleague, it's so simple."
"I
don't believe it."
Ozymandias
the Great drew himself up to his full lack of height. "Colleague, you are
about to see it!" Yoggoth tugged warningly at his coattails. "Leave
me alone, Wolf. An aspersion has been cast!"
Fergus
returned from the wings dragging a soiled length of rope. "This do?"
"Admirably."
"What
goes?" the casting director demanded.
"Shh!"
said
Gloria. "Oh—"
She beamed
worshipfully on Ozymandias, whose chest swelled to the point of threatening the
security of his buttons. "Ladies and gentlemen!" he announced, in the
manner of one prepared to fill a vast amphitheater with his voice. "You
are about to behold Ozymandias the Great in—The Indian Rope Trick! Of
course," he added conversationally, "I haven't got a small boy to
chop into mincemeat, unless perhaps one of you—No? Well, we'll try it without.
Not quite so impressive, though. And will you stop yapping, Wolf?"
"I
thought his name was Yogi," said Fergus.
"Yoggoth.
But since he's part wolf on his mother's side—Now, quiet, all of you!"
He had been
coiling the rope as he spoke. Now he placed the coil in the center of the
stage, where it lurked like a threatening rattler. He stood beside it and
deftly, professionally, went through a series of passes and mumblings so
rapidly that even the superhumanly sharp eyes and ears of Wolf-Yoggoth could
not follow them.
The end of
the rope detached itself from the coil, reared in the air, turned for a moment
like a head uncertain where to strike, then shot straight up until all the rope
was uncoiled. The lower end rested a good inch above the stage.
Gloria
gasped. The casting director drank hurriedly. Fergus, for some reason, stared curiously
at the wolf.
"And
now, ladies and gentlemen—oh, hang it, I do wish I had a boy to carve—Ozymandias
the Great will ascend this rope into that land which only the users of the rope
may know. Onward and upward! Be right back," he added reassuringly to
Wolf.
His plump
hands grasped the rope above his head and gave a little jerk. His knees swung
up and clasped about the hempen pillar. And up he went, like a monkey on a
stick, up and up and up—until suddenly he was gone.
Just gone.
That was all there was to it. Gloria was beyond even saying "Oh." The
casting director sat his beautiful flannels down on the filthy floor and gaped.
Fergus swore softly and melodiously. And Wolf felt a premonitory prickling in
his spine.
The stage
door opened, admitting two men in denim pants and work shirts. "Hey!"
said the first. "Where do you think you are?"
"We're
from Metropolis Pictures," the casting director started to explain,
scrambling to his feet.
"I
don't care if you're from Washington, we gotta clear this stage. There's movies
here tonight. Come on, Joe, help me get 'em out. And that pooch, too."
"You
can't, Fred," said Joe reverently, and pointed. His voice sank to an awed
whisper. "That's Gloria Garton—"
"So it
is. Hi, Miss Garton. Cripes, wasn't that last one of yours a stinkeroo!"
"Your
public, darling," Fergus murmured.
"Come
on!" Fred shouted. "Out of here. We gotta clean up. And you, Joe!
Strike that rope!"
Before
Fergus could move, before Wolf could leap to the rescue, the efficient
stagehand had struck the rope and was coiling it up.
Wolf stared
up into the flies. There was nothing up there. Nothing at all. Someplace
beyond the end of that rope was the only man on earth he could trust to say Absarka!
for him; and the way down was cut off forever.
Wolfe Wolf
sprawled on the floor of Gloria Garton's boudoir and watched that vision of
volupty change into her most fetching negligee.
The
situation was perfect. It was the fulfillment of all his dearest dreams. The
only flaw was that he was still in a wolf's body.
Gloria
turned, leaned over, and chucked him under the snout. "Wuzzum a cute wolf
dog, wuzzum?"
Wolf could
not restrain a snarl.
"Doesn't
um like Gloria to talk baby talk? Um was a naughty wolf, yes, um was."
It was
torture. Here you are in your best-beloved's hotel room, all her beauty
revealed to your hungry eyes, and she talks baby talk to you! Wolf had been
happy at first when Gloria suggested that she might take over the care of her
co-star pending the reappearance of his trainer—for none of them was quite
willing to admit that "Mr. O. Z. Manders" might truly and definitely
have vanished—but he was beginning to realize that the situation might bring
on more torment than pleasure.
"Wolves
are funny," Gloria observed. She was more talkative when alone, with no
need to be cryptically fascinating. "I knew a Wolfe once, only that was
his name. He was a man. And he was a funny one."
Wolf felt
his heart beating fast under his gray fur. To hear his own name on Gloria's
warm lips...But before she could go on to tell her pet how funny Wolfe was, her
maid rapped on the door.
"A Mr.
O'Breen to see you, madam."
"Tell
him to go 'way."
"He
says it's important, and he does look, madam, as though he might make
trouble."
"Oh,
all right." Gloria rose and wrapped her negligee more respectably about
her. "Come on, Yog—No, that's a silly name. I'm going to call you Wolfie.
That's cute. Come on, Wolfie, and protect me from the big, bad detective."
Fergus
O'Breen was pacing the sitting room with a certain vicious deliberateness in
his strides. He broke off and stood still as Gloria and the wolf entered.
"So?"
he observed tersely. "Reinforcements?"
"Will
I need them?" Gloria cooed.
"Look,
light of my love life." The glint in the green eyes was cold and deadly.
"You've been playing games, and whatever their nature, there's one thing
they're not. And that's cricket."
Gloria gave
him a languid smile. "You're amusing, Fergus."
"Thanks.
I doubt, however, if your activities are."
"You're
still a little boy playing cops and robbers. And what boogyman are you after
now?"
"Ha-ha,"
said Fergus politely. "And you know the answer to that question better
than I do. That's why I'm here."
Wolf was
puzzled. This conversation meant nothing to him. And yet he sensed a tension of
danger in the air as clearly as though he could smell it.
"Go
on," Gloria snapped impatiently. "And remember how dearly Metropolis
Pictures will thank you for annoying one of its best box-office
attractions."
"Some
things, my sweeting, are more important than pictures, though you mightn't
think it where you come from. One of them is a certain federation of
forty-eight units. Another is an abstract concept called democracy."
"And
so?"
"And
so I want to ask you one question: Why did you come to Berkeley?"
"For
publicity on Fangs, of course. It was your sister's idea."
"You've
gone temperamental and turned down better ones. Why leap at this?"
"You
don't haunt publicity stunts yourself, Fergus. Why are you here?"
Fergus was
pacing again. "And why was your first act in Berkeley a visit to the
office of the German department?"
"Isn't
that natural enough? I used to be a student here."
"Majoring
in dramatics, and you didn't go near the Little Theater. Why the German
department?" He paused and stood straight in front of her, fixing her with
his green gaze.
Gloria
assumed the attitude of a captured queen defying the barbarian conqueror.
"Very well. If you must know—I went to the German department to see the
man I love."
Wolf held
his breath, and tried to keep his tail from thrashing.
"Yes,"
she went on impassionedly, "you strip the last veil from me, and force me
to confess to you what he alone should have heard first. This man proposed to
me by mail. I foolishly rejected his proposal. But I thought and thought—and at
last I knew. When I came to Berkeley I had to see him—"
"And
did you?"
"The
little mouse of a secretary told me he wasn't there. But I shall see him yet.
And when I do—"
Fergus
bowed stiffly. "My congratulations to you both, my sweeting. And the name
of this more than fortunate gentleman?"
"Professor
Wolfe Wolf."
"Who
is doubtless the individual referred to in this?" He whipped a piece of
paper from his sport coat and thrust it at Gloria. She paled and was silent.
But Wolfe Wolf did not wait for her reply. He did not care. He knew the
solution to his problem now, and he was streaking unobserved for her boudoir.
Gloria
Garton entered the boudoir a minute later, a shaken and wretched woman. She
unstoppered one of the delicate perfume bottles on her dresser and poured
herself a stiff tot of whiskey. Then her eyebrows lifted in surprise as she
stared at her mirror. Scrawlingly lettered across the glass in her own
deep-crimson lipstick was the mysterious word
A B S A R
K A
Frowning,
she said it aloud. "Absarka—"
From behind
a screen stepped Professor Wolfe Wolf, incongruously wrapped in one of Gloria's
lushest dressing robes. "Gloria dearest—" he cried.
"Wolfe!"
she exclaimed. "What on earth are you doing here in my room?"
"I
love you. I've always loved you since you couldn't tell a strong from a weak
verb. And now that I know that you love me—"
"This
is terrible. Please get out of here!"
"Gloria—"
"Get
out of here, or I'll sick my dog on you. Wolfie—Here, nice Wolfie!"
"I'm
sorry, Gloria. But Wolfie won't answer you."
"Oh,
you beast! Have you hurt Wolfie? Have you—"
"I
wouldn't touch a hair on his pelt. Because, you see, Gloria darling, I am
Wolfie."
"What
on earth do you—" Gloria stared around the room. It was undeniable that
there was no trace of the presence of a wolf dog. And here was a man dressed
only in one of her robes and no sign of his own clothes. And after that funny
little man and the rope...
"You
thought I was drab and dull," Wolf went on. "You thought I'd sunk
into an academic rut. You'd sooner have an actor or a G-man. But I, Gloria, am
something more exciting than you've ever dreamed of. There's not another soul
on earth I'd tell this to, but I, Gloria, am a werewolf."
Gloria
gasped. "That isn't possible! But it does all fit in. When I heard about
you on campus, and your friend with the funny beard and how he vanished, and,
of course, it explains how you did tricks that any real dog couldn't possibly
do—"
"Don't
you believe me, darling?"
Gloria rose
from the dresser chair and went into his arms. "I believe you, dear. And
it's wonderful! I'll bet there's not another woman in all Hollywood that was
ever married to a werewolf!"
"Then
you will—"
"But
of course, dear. We can work it out beautifully. We'll hire a stooge to be your
trainer on the lot. You can work daytimes, and come home at night and I'll say
that word for you. It'll be perfect."
"Gloria..."
Wolf murmured with tender reverence.
"One
thing, dear. Just a little thing. Would you do Gloria a favor?"
"Anything!"
"Show
me how you change. Change for me now. Then I'll change you back right
away."
Wolf said
The Word. He was in such ecstatic bliss that he hardly felt the pang this time.
He capered about the room with all the litheness of his fine wolfish legs, and
ended up before Gloria, wagging his tail and looking for approval.
Gloria
patted his head. "Good boy, Wolfie. And now, darling, you can just damned
well stay that way."
Wolf let
out a yelp of amazement.
"You
heard me, Wolfie. You're staying that way. You didn't happen to believe any of
that guff I was feeding the detective, did you? Love you? I should waste my
time! But this way you can be very useful to me. With your trainer gone, I can
take charge of you and pick up an extra thousand a week or so. I won't mind
that. And Professor Wolfe Wolf will have vanished forever, which fits right in
with my plans."
Wolf
snarled.
"Now,
don't try to get nasty, Wolfie darling. Um wouldn't threaten ums darling
Gloria, would ums? Remember what I can do for you. I'm the only person that can
turn you into a man again. You wouldn't dare teach anyone else that. You
wouldn't dare let people know what you really are. An ignorant person would
kill you. A smart one would have you locked up as a lunatic."
Wolf still
advanced threateningly.
"Oh,
no. You can't hurt me. Because all I'd have to do would be to say the word on
the mirror. Then you wouldn't be a dangerous wolf any more. You'd just be a man
here in my room, and I'd scream. And after what happened on the campus
yesterday, how long do you think you'd stay out of the madhouse?"
Wolf backed
away and let his tail droop.
"You
see, Wolfie darling? Gloria has ums just where she wants ums. And ums is damned
well going to be a good boy."
There was a
rap on the boudoir door, and Gloria called, "Come in."
"A
gentleman to see you, madam," the maid announced. "A Professor Fearing."
Gloria
smiled her best cruel and queenly smile. "Come along, Wolfie. This may interest
you."
Professor
Oscar Fearing, overflowing one of the graceful chairs of the sitting room,
beamed benevolently as Gloria and the wolf entered. "Ah, my dear! A new
pet. Touching."
"And
what a pet, Oscar. Wait till you hear. "
Professor
Fearing buffed his pince-nez against his sleeve. "And wait, my dear, until
you hear all that I have learned. Chiswick has perfected his protective screen
against magnetic bombs, and the official trial is set for next week. And
Farnsworth has all but completed his researches on a new process for obtaining
osmium. Gas warfare may start any day, and the power that can command a
plentiful supply of—"
"Fine,
Oscar," Gloria broke in. "But we can go over all this later. We've
got other worries right now."
"What
do you mean, my dear?"
"Have
you run into a red-headed young Irishman in a yellow shirt?"
"No, I—Why,
yes. I did see such an individual leaving the office yesterday. I believe he
had been to see Wolfe."
"He on
to us. He's a detective from Los Angeles, and he's tracking us down. Someplace
he got hold of a scrap of record that should have been destroyed. He knows I'm
in it, and he knows I'm tied up with somebody here in the German
department."
Professor
Fearing scrutinized his pince-nez, approved of their cleanness, and set them on
his nose. "Not so much excitement, my dear. No hysteria. Let us approach
this calmly. Does he know about the Temple of the Dark Truth?"
"Not
yet. Nor about you. He just knows it's somebody in the department."
"Then
what could be simpler? You have heard of the strange conduct of Wolfe
Wolf?"
"Have
I!" Gloria laughed harshly.
"Everyone
knows of Wolfe's infatuation with you. Throw the blame onto him. It should be
easy to clear yourself and make you appear an innocent tool. Direct all
attention to him and the organization will be safe. The Temple of the Dark
Truth can go its mystic way and extract even more invaluable information from
weary scientists who need the emotional release of a false religion."
"That's
what I've tried to do. I gave O'Breen a long song and dance about my devotion
to Wolfe, so obviously phony he'd be bound to think it was a cover-up for
something else. And I think he bit. But the situation's a damned sight trickier
than you guess. Do you know where Wolfe Wolf is?"
"No
one knows. After the president...ah...rebuked him, he seems to have
vanished."
Gloria laughed
again. "He's right here. In this room."
"My
dear! Secret panels and such? You take your espionage too seriously.
Where?"
"There!"
Professor
Fearing gaped. "Are you serious?"
"As
serious as you are about the future of Fascism. That is Wolfe Wolf."
Fearing
approached the wolf incredulously and extended his hand.
"He
might bite," Gloria warned him a second too late.
Fearing
stared at his bleeding hand. "That, at least," he observed, "is
undeniably true." And he raised his foot to deliver a sharp kick.
"No,
Oscar! Don't! Leave him alone. And you'll have to take my word for it—it's way
too complicated. But the wolf is Wolfe Wolf, and I've got him absolutely under
control. He's perfectly in our hands. We'll switch suspicion to him, and I'll
keep him this way while Fergus and his friends the G-men go off hotfoot on his
trail."
"My
dear!" Fearing ejaculated. "You're mad. You're more hopelessly mad
than the devout members of the Temple." He took off his pince-nez and
stared again at the wolf. "And yet Tuesday night—Tell me one thing: From
whom did you get this...this wolf dog?"
"From
a funny plump little man with a fringy beard."
Fearing
gasped. Obviously he remembered the furor in the Temple, and the wolf and the
fringe-beard. "Very well, my dear. I believe you. Don't ask me why, but I
believe you. And now—"
"Now,
it's all set, isn't it? We keep him here helpless, and we use him to—"
"The
wolf as scapegoat. Yes. Very pretty."
"Oh!
One thing—" She was suddenly frightened.
Wolfe Wolf
was considering the possibilities of a sudden attack on Fearing. He could
probably get out of the room before Gloria could say Absarka! But after
that? Whom could he trust to restore him? Especially if G-men were to be set on
his trail...
"What
is it?", Fearing asked.
"That
secretary. That little mouse in the department office. She knows it was you I
asked for, not Wolf. Fergus can't have talked to her yet, because he swallowed
my story; but he will. He's thorough."
"Hm-m-m.
Then, in that case—"
"Yes,
Oscar?"
"She
must be attended to." Professor Oscar Fearing beamed genially and reached
for the phone.
Wolf acted
instantly, on inspiration and impulse. His teeth were strong, quite strong
enough to jerk the phone cord from the wall. That took only a second, and in
the next second he was out of the room and into the hall before Gloria could
open her mouth to speak that word that would convert him from a powerful and
dangerous wolf to a futile man.
There were
shrill screams and a shout or two of "Mad dog!" as he dashed through
the hotel lobby, but he paid no heed to them. The main thing was to reach
Emily's house before she could be "attended to." Her evidence was
essential. That could swing the balance, show Fergus and his G-men where the
true guilt lay. And, besides, he admitted to himself, Emily was a damned nice
kid...
His rate of
collision was about one point six six per block, and the curses heaped upon
him, if theologically valid, would have been more than enough to damn him
forever. But he was making time, and that was all that counted. He dashed
through traffic signals, cut into the path of trucks, swerved from under
streetcars, and once even leaped over a stalled car that was obstructing him.
Everything was going fine, he was halfway there, when two hundred pounds of
human flesh landed on him in a flying tackle.
He looked
up through the brilliant lighting effects of smashing his head on the sidewalk
and saw his old nemesis, the policeman who had been cheated of his beer.
"So,
Rover!" said the officer. "Got you at last, did I? Now we'll see if
you'll wear a proper license tag. Didn't know I used to play football, did
you?"
The
officer's grip on his hair was painfully tight. A gleeful crowd was gathering
and heckling the policeman with fantastic advice.
"Get
along, boys," he admonished. "This is a private matter between me and
Rover here. Come on," and he tugged even harder.
Wolf left a
large tuft of fur and skin in the officer's grasp and felt the blood ooze out
of the bare patch on his neck. He heard a ripe oath and a pistol shot
simultaneously, and felt the needlelike sting through his shoulder. The
awestruck crowd thawed before him. Two more bullets hied after him, but he was
gone, leaving the most dazed policeman in Berkeley.
"I hit
him," the officer kept muttering blankly. "I hit the—"
Wolfe Wolf
coursed along Dwight Way. Two more blocks and he'd be at the little bungalow
that Emily shared with a teaching assistant in something or other. Ripping out
that telephone had stopped Fearing only momentarily; the orders would have been
given by now, the henchmen would be on their way. But he was almost there...
"He'o!"
a child's light voice called to him. "Nice woof-woof come back!"
Across the
street was the modest frame dwelling of Robby and his shrewish mother. The
child had been playing on the sidewalk. Now he saw his idol and deliverer and
started across the street at a lurching toddle. "Nice woof-woof!" he
kept calling. "Wait for Robby!"
Wolf kept
on. This was no time for playing games with even the most delightful of cubs.
And then he saw the car. It was an ancient jalopy, plastered with wisecracks
even older than itself; and the high school youth driving was obviously showing
his girl friend how it could make time on this deserted residential street. The
girl was a cute dish, and who could be bothered watching out for children?
Robby was
directly in front of the car. Wolf leaped straight as a bullet. His trajectory
carried him so close to the car that he could feel the heat of the radiator on
his flank. His forepaws struck Robby and thrust him out of danger. They fell to
the ground together, just as the car ground over the last of Wolf's caudal
vertebrae.
The cute
dish screamed. "Homer! Did we hit them?"
Homer said
nothing, and the jalopy zoomed on.
Robby's
screams were louder. "You hurt me!! You hurt me! Baaaaad woof-woof!"
His mother
appeared on the porch and joined in with her own howls of rage. The cacophony
was terrific. Wolf let out one wailing yelp of his own, to make it perfect and
to lament his crushed tail, and dashed on. This was no time to clear up
misunderstandings.
But the two
delays had been enough. Robby and the policeman had proved the perfect
unwitting tools of Oscar Fearing. As Wolf approached Emily's little bungalow,
he saw a gray sedan drive off. In the rear was a small, slim girl, and she was
struggling.
Even a
werewolf's lithe speed cannot equal that of a motor car. After a block of
pursuit, Wolf gave up and sat back on his haunches panting. It felt funny, he
thought even in that tense moment, not to be able to sweat, to have to open
your mouth and stick out your tongue and...
"Trouble?"
inquired a solicitous voice.
This time
Wolf recognized the cat. "Heavens, yes," he assented wholeheartedly.
"More than you ever dreamed of."
"Food
shortage?" the cat asked. "But that toddler back there is nice and
plump."
"Shut
up," Wolf snarled.
"Sorry;
I was just judging from what Confucius told me about werewolves. You don't mean
to tell me that you're an altruistic were?"
"I
guess I am. I know werewolves are supposed to go around slaughtering, but right
now I've got to save a life."
"You
expect me to believe that?"
"It's
the truth."
"Ah,"
the cat reflected philosophically. "Truth is a dark and deceitful
thing."
Wolfe Wolf
was on his feet. "Thanks," he barked. "You've done it."
"Done
what?"
"See
you later." And Wolf was off at top speed for the Temple of the Dark
Truth.
That was
the best chance. That was Fearing's headquarters. The odds were at least even
that when it wasn't being used for services it was the hangout of his ring,
especially since the consulate had been closed in San Francisco. Again the wild
running and leaping, the narrow escapes; and where Wolf had not taken these too
seriously before, he knew now that he might be immune to bullets, but certainly
not to being run over. His tail still stung and ached tormentingly. But he had
to get there. He had to clear his own reputation, he kept reminding himself;
but what he really thought was, I have to save Emily.
A block
from the Temple he heard the crackle of gunfire. Pistol shots and, he'd swear,
machine guns, too. He couldn't figure what it meant, but he pressed on. Then a
bright-yellow roadster passed him and a vivid flash came from its window.
Instinctively he ducked. You might be immune to bullets, but you still didn't
just stand still for them.
The
roadster was gone and he was about to follow when a glint of bright metal
caught his eye. The bullet that had missed him had hit a brick wall and
ricocheted back onto the sidewalk. It glittered there in front of him—pure
silver!
This, he
realized abruptly, meant the end of his immunity. Fearing had believed
Gloria's story, and with his smattering of occult lore he had known the
successful counterweapon. A bullet, from now on, might mean no more needle
sting, but instant death.
And so
Wolfe Wolf went straight on.
He
approached the Temple cautiously, lurking behind shrubbery. And he was not the
only lurker. Before the Temple, crouching in the shelter of a car every window
of which was shattered, were Fergus O'Breen and a moonfaced giant. Each held an
automatic, and they were taking pot shots at the steeple.
Wolf's keen
lupine hearing could catch their words even above the firing. "Gabe's
around back," Moonface was explaining. "But it's no use. Know what
that damned steeple is? It's a revolving machine-gun turret. They've been ready
for something like this. Only two men in there, far as we can tell, but that
turret covers all the approaches."
"Only
two?" Fergus muttered.
"And
the girl. They brought a girl here with them. If she's still alive."
Fergus took
careful aim at the steeple, fired, and ducked back behind the car as a bullet
missed him by millimeters. "Missed him again! By all the kings that ever
ruled Tara, Moon, there's got to be a way in there. How about tear gas?"
Moon
snorted. "Think you can reach the firing gap in that armored turret at
this angle?"
"That
girl..." said Fergus.
Wolf waited
no longer. As he sprang forward, the gunner noticed him and shifted his fire.
It was like a needle shower in which all the spray is solid steel. Wolf's
nerves ached with the pain of reknitting. But at least machine guns apparently
didn't fire silver.
The front
door was locked, but the force of his drive carried him through and added a
throbbing ache in his shoulder to his other comforts. The lower-floor guard, a
pasty-faced individual with a jutting Adam's apple, sprang up, pistol in hand.
Behind him, in the midst of the litter of the cult, ceremonial robes, incense
burners, curious books, even a Ouija board, lay Emily.
Pasty-face
fired. The bullet struck Wolf full in the chest and for an instant he expected death.
But this, too, was lead, and he jumped forward. It was not his usual powerful
leap. His strength was almost spent by now. He needed to lie on cool earth and
let his nerves knit. And this spring was only enough to grapple with his foe,
not to throw him.
The man
reversed his useless automatic and brought its butt thudding down on the
beast's skull. Wolf reeled back, lost his balance, and fell to the floor. For a
moment he could not rise. The temptation was so strong just to lie there and...
The girl moved.
Her bound hands grasped a corner of the Ouija board. Somehow, she stumbled to
her rope-tied feet and raised her arms. Just as Pasty-face rushed for the
prostrate wolf, she brought the heavy board down.
Wolf was on
his feet now. There was an instant of temptation. His eyes fixed themselves to
the jut of that Adam's apple, and his long tongue licked his jowls. Then he
heard the machine-gun fire from the turret, and tore himself from Pasty-face's
unconscious form.
Ladders are
hard on a wolf, damned near impossible. But if you use your jaws to grasp the
rung above you and pull up, it can be done. He was halfway up the ladder when
the gunner heard him. The firing stopped, and Wolf heard a rich German oath in
what he automatically recognized as an East Prussian dialect with possible
Lithuanian influences. Then he saw the man himself, a broken-nosed blond,
staring down the ladder well.
The other
man's bullets had been lead. So this must be the one with the silver. But it
was too late to turn back now. Wolf bit the next rung and hauled up as the
bullet struck his snout and stung through. The blond's eyes widened as he fired
again and Wolf climbed another rung. After the third shot he withdrew precipitately
from the opening.
Shots still
sounded from below, but the gunner did not return them. He stood frozen against
the wall of the turret watching in horror as the wolf emerged from the well.
Wolf halted and tried to get his breath. He was dead with fatigue and stress,
but this man must be vanquished.
The blond
raised his pistol, sighted carefully, and fired once more. He stood for one
terrible instant, gazing at this deathless wolf and knowing from his
grandmother's stories what it must be. Then deliberately he clamped his teeth
on the muzzle of the automatic and fired again.
Wolf had
not yet eaten in his wolf's body, but food must have been transferred from the
human stomach to the lupine. There was at least enough for him to be
extensively sick.
Getting
down the ladder was impossible. He jumped. He had never heard anything about a
wolf's landing on its feet, but it seemed to work. He dragged his weary and
bruised body along to where Emily sat by the still unconscious Pasty-face, his
discarded pistol in her hand. She wavered as the wolf approached her, as though
uncertain yet as to whether he was friend or foe.
Time was
short. With the machine gun silenced, Fergus and his companions would be
invading the Temple at any minute. Wolf hurriedly nosed about and found the
planchette of the Ouija board. He pushed the heart-shaped bit of wood onto the
board and began to shove it around with his paw.
Emily
watched, intent and puzzled. "A," she said aloud. "B—S—"
Wolf
finished the word and edged round so that he stood directly beside one of the
ceremonial robes. "Are you trying to say something?" Emily frowned.
Wolf wagged
his tail in vehement affirmation and began again.
"A—"
Emily repeated. "B—S—A—R—"
He could
already hear approaching footsteps.
"—K—A—What
on earth does that mean? Absarka—"
Ex-professor
Wolfe Wolf hastily wrapped his naked human body in the cloak of the Dark Truth.
Before either he or Emily knew quite what was happening, he had folded her in
his arms, kissed her in a most thorough expression of gratitude, and fainted.
Even Wolf's
human nose could tell, when he awakened, that he was in a hospital. His body
was still limp and exhausted. The bare patch on his neck, where the policeman
had pulled out the hair, still stung, and there was a lump where the butt of
the automatic had connected. His tail, or where his tail had been, sent twinges
through him if he moved. But the sheets were cool and he was at rest and Emily
was safe.
"I
don't know how you got in there, Mr. Wolf, or what you did; but I want you to
know you've done your country a signal service." It was the moonfaced
giant speaking.
Fergus
O'Breen was sitting beside the bed too. "Congratulations, Wolf. And I
don't know if the doctor would approve, but here."
Wolfe Wolf
drank the whiskey gratefully and looked a question at the huge man.
"This
is Moon Lafferty," said Fergus. "FBI man. He's been helping me track
down this ring of spies ever since I first got wind of them."
"You
got them—all?" Wolf asked.
"Picked
up Fearing and Garton at the hotel," Lafferty rumbled.
"But
how—I thought—"
"You
thought we were out for you?" Fergus answered. "That was Garton's
idea, but I didn't quite tumble. You see, I'd already talked to your secretary.
I knew it was Fearing she'd wanted to see. And when I asked around about
Fearing, and learned of the Temple and the defense researches of some of its
members, the whole picture cleared up."
"Wonderful
work, Mr. Wolf," said Lafferty. "Any time we can do anything for you—And
how you got into that machine-gun turret—Well, O'Breen, I'll see you later. Got
to check up on the rest of this roundup. Pleasant convalescence to you,
Wolf."
Fergus
waited until the G-man had left the room. Then he leaned over the bed and asked
confidentially, "How about it, Wolf? Going back to your acting career?"
Wolf
gasped. "What acting career?"
"Still
going to play Tookah? If Metropolis makes Fangs with Miss Garton in a
Federal prison."
Wolf
fumbled for words. "What sort of nonsense—"
"Come
on, Wolf. It's pretty clear I know that much. Might as well tell me the whole
story."
Still
dazed, Wolf told it. "But how in heaven's name did you know it?" he
concluded.
Fergus
grinned. "Look. Dorothy Sayers said someplace that in a detective story
the supernatural may be introduced only to be dispelled. Sure, that's swell.
Only in real life there come times when it won't be dispelled. And this was
one. There was too damned much. There were your eyebrows and fingers, there
were the obviously real magical powers of your friend, there were the tricks
which no dog could possibly do without signals, there was the way the other
dogs whimpered and cringed—I'm pretty hardheaded, Wolf, but I'm Irish. I'll
string along only so far with the materialistic, but too much coincidence is
too much."
"Fearing
believed it too," Wolf reflected. "But one thing that worries me: if
they used a silver bullet on me once, why were all the rest of them lead? Why
was I safe from then on?"
"Well,"
said Fergus, "I'll tell you. Because it wasn't 'they' who fired the silver
bullet. You see, Wolf, up till the last minute I thought you were on 'their'
side. I somehow didn't associate good will with a werewolf. So I got a mold
from a gunsmith and paid a visit to a jeweler and—I'm damned glad I
missed," he added sincerely.
"You're
glad!"
"But
look. Previous question stands. Are you going back to acting? Because if not,
I've got a suggestion."
"Which
is?"
"You
say you fretted about how to be a practical, commercial werewolf. All right.
You're strong and fast. You can terrify people even to commit suicide. You can
overhear conversations that no human being could get in on. You're invulnerable
to bullets. Can you tell me better qualifications for a G-man?"
Wolf
goggled. "Me? A G-man?"
"Moon's
been telling me how badly they need new men. They've changed the qualifications
lately so that your language knowledge'll do instead of the law or accounting
they used to require. And after what you did today, there won't be any trouble
about a little academic scandal in your past. Moon's pretty sold on you."
Wolf was
speechless. Only three days ago he had been in torment because he was not an
actor or a G-man. Now—
"Think
it over," said Fergus.
"I
will. Indeed I will. Oh, and one other thing. Has there been any trace of
Ozzy?"
"Nary
a sign."
"I
like that man. I've got to try to find him and—"
"If
he's the magician I think he is, he's staying up there only because he's decided
he likes it."
"I
don't know. Magic's tricky. Heavens knows I've learned that. I'm going to try
to do my damnedest for that fringe-bearded old colleague."
"Wish
you luck. Shall I send in your other guest?"
"Who's
that?"
"Your
secretary. Here on business, no doubt."
Fergus
disappeared discreetly as he admitted Emily. She walked over to the bed and
took Wolf's hand. His eyes drank in her quiet, charming simplicity, and his
mind wondered what freak of belated adolescence had made him succumb to the
blatant glamour of Gloria.
They were
silent for a long time. Then at once they both said, "How can I thank you?
You saved my life."
Wolf
laughed. "Let's not argue. Let's say we saved our life."
"You
mean that?" Emily asked gravely.
Wolf
pressed her hand. "Aren't you tired of being an office wife?"
In the
bazaar of Darjeeling, Chulundra Lingasuta stared at his rope in numb amazement.
Young Ali had climbed up only five minutes ago, but now as he descended he was
a hundred pounds heavier and wore a curious fringe of beard.