MICHAEL THOMAS

SOMETIMES A HELIX IS A CIRCLE

IN THE HALLWAYS THEY whispered: fight after school, norms against mods, revenge
for the destroyed solar cells in the Prestons' car.

No way, I thought, but at lunch my friends and I decided to hang around the
playground after school just in case. As the day wore on, the classroom dulled,
the odds on the fight being the only equation to catch my attention. Mr. Dalton,
as always, caught me daydreaming.

"Eric?" Mr. Dalton said, "Have you ever considered using that brain your parents
bought for you?"

Mr. Dalton taught the modified gene type advanced class. I have never met anyone
who smiled as much as Mr. Dalton, the expression seemingly etched into his thin
face, permanent wrinkles bunched around his cheeks from the effort. He prowled
behind us, smiling, hands clasped behind his back, his head bobbing on his long
neck like some bird of prey.

"The logarithm, Eric?"

I stared at the probability model on my monitor, shrugged my shoulders and said,
"How about two four time?"

He stared at me for a moment, finally got the joke. His smile stretched tighter
across his teeth. Along the circle of terminals my mod classmates stared at me
as if I was a somewhat amusing monkey.

The bell sounded, dismissing the advanced classes. I waited for an hour in the
parking lot until the norms were dismissed. The late May sun sent heat ripples
dancing on the asphalt and the air smelled of sap and newly mowed grass; three
weeks until the end of eighth grade and the beginning of summer vacation,
freedom in the air as thick as the smell of the grass.

Soon my norm friends came running and we raced to the best seats on the
semi-circle of berms separating the softball diamonds from the neighboring
subdivision. There was Lew, who at fifteen was two years older than us, but
still in the eighth grade because he had been held back twice, and Screwy, which
just about sums him up, and me, who they called Sleeves because I always wore
long-sleeve shirts. Norms and mods never hung out together, but my friends and I
were different despite the fact that I worked on trigonometry and the orbit of a
gas giant circling Vega while they struggled with x 20 .. 35. They didn't seem
to much care if I had been engineered to a 190+IQ; I didn't care if Lew had been
held back, or if Screwy had a row of five studs implanted along the side of his
nose. Sometimes you can only care about another person if you don't care.

Screwy said, "You think the mods really messed up that car?"

Lew shrugged his shoulders and tipped back the brim of his Stetson. "One day
there's a car and the next day something blows away every solar cell in the
whole damn thing. Who else would be smart enough to do that? Right, Sleeves?" He
glanced over Screwy's shoulder at me and grinned his lopsided grin, the one that
turned his mouth into a lightning bolt. I said, "Whoever did it should get a
medal."

Screwy wrinkled his clay-colored face, stuck a finger in his ear and fished for
ear wax. "All Bobby Preston did was spray paint some wall."

"Not just graffiti," I said. "He and his pals painted swastikas all over the
university genetic research building. If you let that kind of hate crap go
unchallenged it'll get worse. There's already a move in congress to outlaw
genetic modifications. Most norms would support it, wouldn't blink if they put
us in concentration camps. Pretty soon the real brown shirts will be
goose-stepping down the streets."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Screwy said.

"It's called politics. It's not my fault if I can read."

Screwy said, "Yeah, that's why we hate mods."

I shoved a handful of grass down the back of his T-shirt and he took a swipe at
me with his backpack and was about to leap when Lew tackled him and called him a
pin dick.

"Your mother," Screwy said as he squirmed away from Lew.

"Least my mother's not a guy in drag," Lew laughed.

We killed time that way, clowning beneath the fiery circle of the sun until we
heard voices coming from behind the back stop. A gang of norms marched onto the
pitcher's mound led by Bobby Preston. Bobby had once tried to play a prank on
the principal by ordering ten pizzas and having them delivered to the
principal's house; unfortunately he gave the pizzeria his own phone number.
People like Bobby give norms a bad name.

For about ten minutes the norms milled around the pitcher's mound until a group
of my mod classmates left the school. Even at a distance I recognized most of
them: Liz was there, whose nylons swished when she crossed her legs, and Justin
Moore, engineered for flawless skin as well as brains, and others from the far
end of the bell-shaped curve.

They walked toward the subdivision and as I recognized more faces, my gut went
rigid. On the diamond, backpacks hit the dirt, baseball bats fanned the air.
"This isn't a fight. They're going to attack them."

"How do you know?" Screwy said.

"That's the Greek club. No one over there could defend themselves against a
flea."

Sure enough the cat calls and the jeers from the norms rang out and the mob
started toward my classmates, Bobby Preston in the lead with a Louisville
Slugger in his hands and moronic hate etched into his blubbery face. The mods
tried to ignore them, but the norms had a good angle and cut them off before
they could reach the subdivision.

"You know," Lew said, "I hate Bobby Preston. Maybe I'll go make him give me back
the five dollars he owes me." With that, Lew cocked his Stetson and sauntered
toward the norms like the hero of a western. That was Lew; not stupid by any
means, just living out his personal rebellion fantasy, using failure as a
weapon. His father was a drunk, no one knew where his mother lived. My own
father walked out on us when I was five. I haven't seen him since. I can't
remember what he looked like.

"Hey pin dick," Lew yelled.

The crowd of norms parted for him.

"This ain't your fight," Bobby Preston said and backed away.

The norms closed in around Lew.

"You owe me five bucks," Lew said. "Pay up or get off my playground."

"This ain't your .... "

"Want to prove me wrong?"

"They messed up my dad's car!"

"Prove it."

More bodies crowded Lew.

Screwy and I stared at each other and I knew we both felt the same disgrace at
our cowardice. We charged down the hill toward our friend who was about to stand
up to fifteen angry norms.

When we got there, Lew had already shoved Bobby Preston to the ground. The mods
stood nervously by. Tension charged the hot air like heat lightning.

"Take a hike." Lew laughed.

A big kid leapt from the crowd and pinned Lew's arms behind his back. Bobby
Preston Scrambled to his feet, his arms swinging backward, the Louisville
Slugger tracing an arc through the air, the upswing of which would have caught
Lew in the side of the head.

I'm not sure what happened next. People told me about it, but I don't remember.
It was like when you're in an accident, one moment you're driving along and the
next moment your car is a mangled heap only your brain has mercifully blocked
out the actual crash.

Bobby Preston lay on the ground screaming, holding his face. The kid still held
Lew, both of them too stunned to move. Everyone froze. And I wasn't where I
thought I was.

Screwy and I had been ten feet away when Bobby swung the bat, separated from
them by the mob of norms. Now I stood between Bobby and Lew. Pain throbbed
through my right hand. Everyone stared at me.

"Jesus," Lew said.

The norm released him and jumped back.

"Sleeves, how the hell did you do that?"

"Do what?" I said. Fear scurried up my chest. Bobby staggered to his feet and
for a moment dropped his hands from his face. A crimson splotch discolored the
side of his face like a massive sunburn in the shape of a hand print. For a
moment he stared wild-eyed at me, then turned and bolted, the other norms
fleeing with him.

"I didn't do anything," I protested.

Lew studied me, the mods in a semi-circle watching me as if I was a science
experiment. I caught a glimpse of Bobby Preston, intercepted halfway across the
playground by Mr. Dalton, who had left after tutoring the Greek Club.

"I've never seen you move that fast," Lew said. "I've never seen anyone move
that fast. And you stuck your hand in Preston's face and -- what did you do to
him?"

I looked down; my palm and my fingertips were red, a mirror image of the burn on
Bobby Preston's face. Something was very wrong.

"I didn't do anything," I said again, lamely.

"The hell you didn't," Lew said. "You saved my life." Lew extended his hand, but
as I reached out to shake it he suddenly yanked his hand back. I had never seen
Lew frightened before. Behind him the mods still watched me, then looked beyond
me.

I turned to face smiling Mr. Dalton, his hands behind his back, head bobbing on
his pipe cleaner neck. He studied me, peered at my hand, let his smile become a
grin. "We need to talk, Eric. Perhaps tomorrow after school. I may be able to
help you."

His jaw trembled from the effort of holding his smile.

THAT NIGHT I SAT at the dinner table, numb, mindlessly rolling olives through
the spaghetti sauce. Twice the phone rang and twice I flinched, knowing it
signaled my arrest for disfiguring Bobby Preston. The first call was a survey on
laundry detergent, the second a wrong number for someone named Dawn Anne. The
world went on. Didn't they know I was in anguish? Didn't they know something
monstrous had happened today? The phone rang; my heart beat a rhythm like
firecrackers. I answered the phone and again it was the guy trying to find Dawn
Anne.

Apparently the world did not care about my anguish.

I shrugged my shoulders and went to my room. At one point I actually thought of
confessing to my mother. She, however, was working late at the board meeting of
Franklyn National Life and Casualty. My stepfather Darryl was somewhere,
probably cheating on my mother, or perhaps getting another treatment for his
acne scars.

I did not sleep that night; every time I closed my eyes I saw Bobby Preston's
burned face, felt bile rise in my throat. I had no idea what I had done, or how
I could control it. There wasn't even a name I could use to impale it and
neutralize it like a butterfly pinned to a specimen board. At times the whole
scene on the playground seemed like some terrible television show, an actor
burning another actor's face through the latest computerized special effects.
Only it wasn't television. I might do it again and really hurt someone this
time. So I did not sleep.

In the morning I met Lew and Screwy in the parking lot and we sat near the day
lilies and pitched gravel at the NORTH POINTE MIDDLE SCHOOL --HOME OF THE
PATRIOTS sign. When he wasn't eyeing the seventh grade girls, Lew glanced at me,
looking like he wanted to ask about the day before, but saying nothing.

Screwy, however, had no hesitation. "Jesus, Sleeves," he blurted out, "that was
great. How did you do it? The look on Preston's face! How'd you do it?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Do it again. There's that Milton kid. Go and ...."

Lew cuffed him on the ear.

"Hey!"

"Shut up."

"That hurt!"

"Now you can't hear the answer so don't ask the question."

Screwy looked to me for sympathy; I flicked a pebble at him.

Lew said, "Look out. Here it comes."

Bobby Preston and his friends wandered across the parking lot, stopped ten feet
away from us and glared. There were times when I actually felt sorry for Bobby
Preston; the youngest of four brothers, each meaner than the next, with a father
who never hesitated slapping his son and calling him stupid in front of the
whole world, Bobby had no choice but to develop the personality of a slow-witted
pit bull.

"That's a nasty sunburn you got there, Bobby," Lew said.

The rest of Bobby's face turned the color of the hand print.

"You're dead meat," he said, staring at me.

I wanted a smart-ass comeback, but all I could manage was, "Oh yeah?" Fear
numbed my mind, fear not of Bobby Preston but of myself.

Apparently, smart-ass comebacks were also beyond Bobby. He stuttered, turned the
color of a tomato, then marched off, his goons in tow.

Now at this point, Screwy gave us a demonstration of how he earned his nickname.
Rather than leave well enough alone, he pranced after Bobby Preston, doing a
monkey imitation, chattering, "Hey Preston, want some suntan lotion?"

It took about ten seconds for Bobby to whirl and charge after him. Screwy turned
to flee back to us, found his escape route blocked by Bobby's pals, then ran for
his life across the parking lot, the gang in pursuit.

Lew and I watched him disappear behind the school buses, Lew shaking his head
and saying, "What an idiot."

"Yeah, but he's our idiot."

For a few minutes we sat silently, then Lew asked, "Sleeves, what the hell did
happen yesterday?"

"I don't know," I said. "I've heard of unexpected things happening to people who
have been modified. It's like they switch on genes for intelligence and somehow
accidentally switch on something else. I remember reading about this kid who was
modified for super math abilities. He was fine until he turned twelve and then
something went wrong. His brain stopped sending signals to his body. The kid's a
vegetable now." I pitched a chunk of asphalt at the sign. "I'm scared," I said.

Lew studied his shoes. "Yeah. It's kind of like my old man. You never know when
he's gonna go berserk and take a tire iron to your head."

Right, except Lew could run from his crazy father; my crazy guy was inside my
head.

The bell rang and we headed for our lockers. Both norms and mods started school
at eight, but mods finished in five hours, while norms stayed for six, the idea
being that mods needed the extra time for all the wonderful advanced stuff they
would certainly do. Which some kids did while many of us went home and watched
television. The difference was just another source of friction between mods and
norms.

The morning passed as always, only this time all the other mods in the advanced
class were aware of me. They snuck glances at me. They asked me to sit at their
table at lunch. Unthinkingly, I did and only later realized Lew and Screwy were
by themselves, watching me.

Even we genetically engineered superstars are pack creatures at heart; the most
popular mods and thus the alpha male and female of the pack were Liz and Justin
Moore. As we left the cafeteria, Justin said, "I'm having a pool party on
Saturday. I'd like you to come."

"Ah, sure," I said, then hesitated. Lew and Screwy and I had planned to go to
the movies on Saturday night. "No, I don't think so. I've got plans."

"Hanging out with the retards?" Liz asked.

"My friends are my business."

"Someday you'll realize you're one of us," Justin said. "Those losers you hang
around with just pull you down. Maybe it's about time you live up to your
potential."

I had heard this lecture before from my mother. She thought Lew and Screwy were
a disease, infecting me with terminal normality.

Liz stepped in front of me and pulled a centaur-shaped pendant from around her
neck. "Do you know what this is?" she asked. "It's a signaling device. Press on
it here and it sounds an alarm and your location across the Net to every
terminal at every mod's house. We made it ourselves."

"Nice," I said. "But you didn't have to go to all the trouble. You can buy that
kind of stuff at the mall."

"You don't understand," she said. "We have to learn how to make this kind of
device by ourselves because one day the norms will come after us. Norms hate us.
They hate you, Eric. We need to stick together. We need people like you with
your kind of talents."

Somehow, the word "talent" seemed out of place. I felt more like a gargoyle.

"I like my friends," I said.

"But you need us," Justin said.

The afternoon went on and soon the bell rang. As I stood to leave, I realized
the whole class had remained in their seats and now stared at me. Mr. Dalton
circled my desk and smiled.

"That must have been a very frightening experience for you yesterday," he said.

"I'm all right."

"Unfortunately the rumor is spreading around the school. It would be very bad if
news of this incident reached the news media."

"I didn't mean it," I said.

"Of course not," Mr. Dalton said. "But that won't matter. Can you see the
headlines now? Mod boy attacks normal child. Freak disfigures child. The media
will have fun with that. And just think of our political leaders. Not to mention
the police." His smile stretched tight across his teeth.

I studied my shoes.

"You know, Eric, your classmates are very worried about you. You've always held
yourself aloof. You've never joined in. I think you might want to change all of
that. The day is coming when you will need each other."

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Do you know how you did what you did?"

I shook my head.

"It's not surprising. Very often new talents have a way of sneaking up on a
person. It must be frightening."

Liz said, "There's nothing to be scared of with us."

Justin said, "We can help you."

"I'd like you to confide in me," Mr. Dalton said. "Get over your fright. Look at
things clearly."

Since the fight on the playground I had been a nervous wreck, but suddenly all
of this attention from people who had never before indicated that they knew I
existed got on my nerves. The anxiety eased and my old smart-ass personality
came back. "It's not that frightening. It might come in handy when talking to
teachers."

Mr. Dalton went on smiling, head bobbing above his quivering adam's apple. "You
know, Eric, your classmates have been very tolerant of you. With no provocation
you've rejected them, slighted them, some might say you even betrayed them.
Instead of mixing with your own kind you insist on consorting with your
intellectual inferiors."

"Fuck off," I said.

"Good vocabulary, Eric. Your classmates, on the other hand, are reading Plato in
the original Greek. I could teach you something more than gutter talk."

"What's Greek for fuck off?"

"Very cute, Eric. You can bait me all you want, but it won't work. We need to
talk."

"I need to go watch television."

Liz said, "You've been in the same class with us for eight years and you have no
idea what the rest of us are doing. You've never been part of us. Why?"

"Maybe," Justin said, "because it makes him feel superior being smarter than his
imbecilic friends. If he was part of our group he'd have to compete on an equal
footing with his intellectual equals."

I turned on him and snapped, "Keep it up and I'll knock your perfect teeth out."

"All right," Mr. Dalton yelled. "Cut it out. Now listen to me, Eric. You have a
gift. You do not have the luxury of adolescent rebellion. Sit down."

I glared at him, then finally sat, my fists clenched, a rock sitting in the pit
of my stomach.

"Do you remember Corey Binkman?" Mr. Dalton said.

A vague image of red hair and acne appeared in my mind.

"Not long ago, he discovered he can bend metal without touching it. Once upon a
time that was a sideshow attraction. Now, without quite understanding how, we've
engineered that ability into a child. Corey is no longer here because I arranged
to have him sent to the Advanced Genetic Investigations Institute at Harvard
where they will study his gifts. He's quite happy there. He's with other
children who have developed unusual talents. When he's old enough, he'll be
assured of a scholarship to Harvard. All of the children there have been
referred by teachers like myself who specialize in modified children. We form a
close knit group and keep our eye out for promising children. Children like
yourself. Tomorrow, representatives from the Institute will talk to your
parents. They will want you to go with them so that they can study you and ....
"

"No way," I blurted out.

Mr. Dalton smiled, the expression drawing his skin tight, outlining his
cheekbones. "Eric, what you don't understand is that your classmates and I are
truly concerned about you. The plain fact of the matter is that all of the
ramifications of the genetic manipulation you underwent prenatally are not fully
understood. There are long sequences of genetic code in all of us that are
apparently useless. At one time perhaps they served a purpose that later was
deselected by evolution, or perhaps they were accidents that never should have
occurred. These redundant nucleotide sequences are still a mystery. However, in
some children like yourself, sequences have been accidentally triggered. Unless
we can understand what's going on inside of you, we can't control it. You can't
control it. Think, Eric, it's not simply what happened yesterday on that
playground. Other changes may have occurred. Do you want to gamble on your own
well-being? Think of the stories I've told you about the tragedies, the talented
children who suddenly .... "

"I know the stories," I snapped.

"Then pay attention to them. We can't control this ability of yours, but if we
study it, perhaps we can bring it under conscious volition for you and your
classmates."

"They don't have the same abilities?"

"Not so far. Some may not have the same modifications. Some may have these
abilities, but so far the talents are latent. And it is very important that we
find out how to control these talents."

Justin said, "Yesterday was just a sample of what the norms can do."

Liz said, "It will get worse. We need to protect ourselves. You can help us."

Mr. Dalton said, "I've dedicated my life to working with children of
extraordinary talent. If there were no such thing as genetic modification,
talented people would still be picked on. It's always that way. The average
always resent the superior and let their envy turn to hate. Only now it's worse.
There's a reason, not just blind chance. Talent can be bought, superior
intelligence can be manufactured if you have enough money. The ancient conflict
between the haves and the have-nots will become genocidal because there is no
way the average can win now. You and your kind will soon control the wealth and
perhaps even the governments of the world because you are better than the rest.
It's unfair, but that's the way it is. Sooner or later the average will turn on
you to prevent that. So you must protect yourselves. You must take your rightful
place and lead the world."

By then, I had shut down, gone numb, heard the words, but understood nothing. I
thought he was crazy, thought my mod classmates were creeps and yet something
about his words intoxicated me like some drug- or alcohol-induced fantasy that
makes luminous sense for a moment, then vanishes the moment you try to think
clearly about it. Mostly, I wanted to run.

"I have to go now," I said.

Mr. Dalton smiled. "You have time to think about it. Go have fun at Justin's
pool party. Get to know your own kind."

"I don't swim," I said.

"I can teach you," Liz said.

"I didn't say I couldn't swim. I said I don't swim."

"Eric, that's not really the point," Mr. Dalton said.

"Can I go now?"

He smiled again. "You're not a prisoner."

So I left, fled the room and the staring faces, waited for Lew and Screwy to be
dismissed at our usual meeting place in the parking lot. They never came. I took
off for the new housing development where we often killed time and found my two
friends sitting on a knoll. I joined them and for a moment we were silent,
watching a robotic grader creep across the scarred landscape like an arthritic
spider.

"How's your new friends?" Screwy said.

Lew elbowed him in the ribs.

"Hey!"

"Shut up."

"They aren't my friends," I said.

"That's your business," Lew said and lit a cigarette. He passed it to both of
us. I took a drag even though the smell sent my head reeling.

"I heard Bobby Preston say they're going to get you," Screwy said. "They say you
threw something in Bobby's face that burned him."

I shrugged my shoulders. "He can do anything he wants."

Lew craned his neck to peer around Screwy's shoulders. "Just be careful. They're
stupid, but they're smart enough to be dangerous."

"I'm not scared," I said.

"We still going to the movies Saturday night?" Screwy asked.

"For sure," I said.

"Can you show me how to do that thing with your hand? That was awesome!"

"Shut up," Lew said.

"I don't know how I did it," I said.

"God, if I had enough money I'd have them change me like that." Lew said, "It'd
take all the money in the world just to make you read without moving your lips."

"Least I was never held back."

"That's because no one could ever stand having you in their class twice."

"Your mother sucks."

"Eat me."

"There's nothing much to eat."

"Jerk."

I was beginning to feel much better; I was back among friends.

THE NEXT EVENING, men in suits came after dinner and explained the Harvard
program to my mother. Darryl was out someplace.

My mother nodded her head a lot, looked in awe as if the man was singing a
psalm.

The man who did most of the talking folded his hands on the stomach that bulged
over his belt and said, "And you have to consider that Eric would in effect be
receiving an education all the time he was at the Institute. Depending upon the
results of our study he might be automatically accepted at Harvard, tuition
free."

"Oh, this is so exciting," my mother said.

"Screw it," I said.

My mother tittered, but eyed me with her "you'll pay for that later" look.
"Kids," she said and shrugged her shoulders.

"Indeed," the man said. "Considering that incident the other day I'm sure Eric
is still a bit confused."

I cringed.

"What incident?" my mother asked.

"Just fooling around," I said.

The man in the suit cocked his head, squished the fat rolls at his neck. "I'd
hardly call it fooling around. He somehow generated enough heat through his hand
to cause second degree burns."

"What?" my mother whispered.

"I'm sorry. I thought you knew." He explained the fight in the playground to my
mother. She stared at me as if I had just stepped off a flying saucer.

"You did that?" she asked.

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Fortunately we were able to arrange matters with the local police," the man
said.

"The police?" I said and felt as if a giant had squeezed the air from my lungs.

"Well, Eric," the man said. "You assaulted a boy and burned his face. Naturally
his parents informed the authorities." To my mother he said,

"So you see, it would be in everybody's best interests if Eric went to the
Institute."

When he was gone, my mother said, "This is one incredible break."

"I'm not going," I said.

"If I say you are, then you're going. I paid a lot of money to give you those
advantages. You're not going to waste them and make me look like a fool."

And that about summed up her point of view. I waited for her to ask me about the
fight. She said nothing.

The next day I sat with Lew and Screwy at lunch and Screwy told me about the
latest rumor.

"Bobby Preston says he's gonna get your ass, man. He says his brother Billy's
gonna get his high-school friends and then they're gonna beat the shit out of
you."

Lew gurgled Hawaiian Punch through the straw in his juice box.

"Looks like I'll have to have a talk with that boy."

"Forget it," I said. "I'm not afraid."

"Didn't say you were. I just don't like him."

Justin and Liz came to the table and stood over me. "Mr. Dalton wants you to
stay after school today. There's something important you should know about."

Screwy stuck a straw up his nose, then pulled it out and licked the tip.

Liz and Justin ignored him. "It's important," Justin said.

"Yeah, whatever," I said.

I did stay that afternoon along with Justin and Liz while the rest of the
advanced class went home. Mr. Dalton grinned and waved me over to his terminal
and dialed into the Net. "This one," he said.

The message from someone named Archimedes read, "Anyone hear about what happened
in California? some gene freek burned a normal kid with some kind of wird new
power!"

After that Mr. Dalton navigated through groups and boards and chat lines all
humming with rumors and stories and vindictive debates, all circling back to the
story of a mod kid who burned a normal.

"I got where I got because I'm smart daddy didn't buy me a brain. If they're
going to start something then i say kill the bastards."

"Nucleotide manipulation is not a hanging offense, last time I heard."

"Screw you."

"Anytime anyplace."

"There's a lot of reports coming out in the literature about unsuspected effects
of the engineering, peptide transmutations seem very common, maybe we should
shut up a minute and actually study some of these things."

And so on until we arrived at another ominous note from Archimedes. "Apparently
it really happened. My friend says it was at the North Pointe Middle School."

My head swam, arms tingled.

Mr. Dalton swiveled in his chair. "It was only a matter of time. It will
probably reach the network news by tonight, tomorrow at the latest."

"You're in danger," Justin said.

"You're putting us all in danger," Liz said.

"Can I go now?" I said.

"Of course," Mr. Dalton said. "Just remember that if anything happens the best
place for you to be is at the Harvard Institute."

I walked slowly from the room, but inside I fled, bolted and ran from the
stupidity scrolling across the terminal. The sun warmed the spring day; people
went about their business; I wanted desperately to be them, anyone but a little
kid with doom following him like a cloud of gnats. But I was not normal and
average and it seemed only a matter of time before the normal folks turned on
me.

I waited in the parking lot for Lew and Screwy; I was too nervous to sit still
so I compulsively paced circles around a stop sign. Finally the norms were
released and we walked toward our subdivision.

When we reached my house, Lew stopped and I realized he wasn't next to me. I
turned, saw him gaping, staring upwards, followed his gaze and then whispered,
"Shit."

The windows in my house, the living room and dining room on the first floor and
the bedrooms on the second were all shattered, empty frames like the empty
sockets of a skull.

"Shit," I said again. The sight was unreal; I wondered if it was the wrong
house, wanted it to be someone else's house. But it was mine.

Screwy danced around, muttering and pointing at the door. Yellow spray--painted
letters read, "Death to Mods" and the graffiti was punctuated by a swastika.

"I'm going to kill that Preston," Lew growled.

Anger surged from my belly to force my hands into fists. As I stared at the
vandalized house and the circular holes the rocks had made in the windows, I saw
with terrible clarity that there would always be Bobby Prestons, always had
been, people who could do anything they wanted to you whenever they liked. The
unfairness of it all sickened me, angered me, forced a scream to my lips. But I
was silent.

That night, after the police left, after Darryl nailed sheets over the windows
and my mother had swept up the broken glass, I went to my room and locked the
door and tried to summon the force, the whatever the thing was inside of me.
Since the day on the playground I had tried to forget it, lived in a kind of
half-realized fear that it might overtake me at any moment. Now I welcomed it. I
tried to concentrate, but mostly my mind wandered. I tried leaping and spinning,
but I only stumbled about the room and stubbed my toe. I tried karate moves, but
only ran out of breath. I tried focusing my mind, but summoned only chaos. At
last I gave up.

And then the call came, Screwy on the other end, breathless, incoherent at
first, finally spitting out the news. Lew had gone after Bobby Preston, only
this time Preston's friends had got him and held him down while Bobby shattered
Lew's shoulder with his Louisville Slugger.

"We gotta do something," Screwy wailed. "This sucks!"

"Yeah," I said. "I'll do something."

The rage exploded in me like a nova.

Of course we went to the emergency room, because who knew where Lew's father
might be. We waited in hard plastic chairs until he finally emerged from the
treatment rooms. Even at a distance I knew it was bad. His face was the color of
a mushroom. He walked straight and yet seemed to list to the side of his damaged
shoulder. I had the feeling that his shoulder would probably never heal right,
like those football players who can no longer lift their arms higher than their
shoulders.

We met him and walked him into the cool night air, silent, just being there. I
carried his Stetson for him. Eventually he said, "Next time it's his ass," only
he didn't say the words as Lew would have said them, but in the hollow voice of
someone who knew they had failed yet again, a voice like the crackle of dry
leaves.

"Sure you will," I said. The anger inside of me was like white hot metal.

I PASSED BOBBY PRESTON in the hall the next day. The hand print on his face was
almost gone, replaced by flaking skin, the burn being no worse than a second
degree sunburn. He refused to meet my eyes even though I knew he saw me. I
fought back the urge to smash his head against the lockers.

At lunch I sat alone until Justin and Liz sat down opposite me. "We heard about
your house," Justin said.

Liz said, "It's just the beginning you know. It'll get worse."

"Mr. Dalton was telling us about the elections next fall," Justin said. "He says
already the candidates are making us an issue. We'll be in danger."

"Then I guess we ought to do something about it," I said. They both blinked at
me with their perfectly formed eyes. I told them about Lew.

"See what we mean?" Justin said.

"So maybe if we put our advanced brains together we could think up a way to stop
them."

They glanced at each other, suddenly looking nervous. "What do you mean?" Liz
said.

"If I come to your party, then everyone will think we're there. If we were to
sneak out for a while and then come back, we'd have an alibi."

"And do What?" Justin asked.

"Make sure Bobby Preston never hurts anyone again," I said. I was so cold I
shivered, hugged myself to stop any visible trembling. Inside the rage had
turned cold and reptilian.

"You mean kill him?" Liz gasped.

I yearned to say yes, but even at my most bitter I could not say it. "You guys
did his old man's car, didn't you?"

Justin turned the color of the hand print on Bobby Preston's face, finally
nodded his head.

"Then this time we go after his house. Just a friendly warning."

"But...."

"That's the deal," I said. "I join you, I go to the Institute and in return we
fry his house. Agreed?"

They studied each other, more awkward than I had ever seen them, then both
nodded their heads.

"Deal," I said. And the cold was gone and I felt a rush of loneliness, a
desperate urge to belong. I was one of them.

By Saturday, a fit of nerves almost sent me to the movies with Lew and Screwy,
but instead I rolled a bathing suit in a towel and headed for the party.

Justin lived in a mammoth colonial at the end of the subdivision with pillars
before the main entrance, a pool in the back yard and a sauna in a greenhouse.
It was strange to see all of my classmates there in bathing suits, somersaulting
off the diving board, behaving just like normal kids. I tried not to stare at
Liz, but when I saw her on the diving board, her tall and slender body encased
in a swim suit, I found it hard to breathe.

Justin slapped me on the back. "You can change in the house."

Which I did, feeling skinny and foolish, emerging from the house and holding my
breath.

All of the kids whom I had spent most of my life avoiding greeted me as if I had
always been their friend. I sat with a circle of kids by the pool and drank Coke
and found out who was going steady with whom and which couples were breaking up.
Six-foot speakers blared the sounds of electric guitars and drums played as if
they were weapons. A cooler of beer was opened. A joint was passed. Above us
Ursa Major began its revolution through the night sky. Everything was normal.

Justin crooked a finger at me. I followed him behind the greenhouse where Liz
was waiting. A small robotic spider, the kind electricians used to thread wire
through walls, sat on an overturned garbage can. Justin grinned and held the
metal insect beneath my nose as if he expected me to sniff the thing. "It's been
modified," he said. "We can send it through the air conditioning, or anyplace
there's an opening. Once inside it'll sniff out the breaker box, clamp onto a
line and send a surge through the wiring. Something's bound to short circuit and
then poof -- the house goes up like kindling."

"Won't they find it -- afterwards I mean. Can't they trace it?"

"Nope. There's a vial of acid set to detonate one hour after we trip the switch.
It'll look just like part of the wreckage. Neat, aye?"

"Neat," I said.

He slapped me on the back and Liz smiled and took my arm and we rejoined the
party. I gulped a beer to douse the anxiety singeing my nerves; anticipation
threatened to lift me from my chair and send me into the night like some
demented arsonist.

The latch on the gate clanked and I looked up to see Mr. Dalton walking toward
me, smiling.

"Hello, Eric," he said and sat next to me on a lawn chair.

"Don't look so shocked," Justin said and laughed. "He always comes. He's not
like a teacher at all."

"I'm your friend," Mr. Dalton said and smiled exposing his teeth.

"He buys the beer," Justin said.

Mr. Dalton smiled; his eyes watched me, cold and bird-like, his head bobbed on
his scrawny neck. "I can't tell you how happy I am that you decided to accept
the Institute. Next week we'll talk about the details of your actual departure.
Nice party."

"Yeah," I said. I wanted him miles away; if he saw us sneak away he might figure
out we were the ones who torched the Preston house.

"I have many friends at the Institute," he said. "They'll see to it that you're
well treated. It never hurts to have friends in high places."

Justin, beginning to sway from the beer and the joint, laughed a high-pitched
hyena sound. "High places. Yeah, that's it, high, high, high. High enough to get
us the circuit diagrams."

I flinched. "What circuit diagrams?"

"The circuits, dunce." With an exaggerated wink, he stumbled to a group of mods
at poolside.

A body hit the pool, spraying us, broke the surface, laughing. "I love you
kids," Mr. Dalton said and patted my arm.

I pulled my arm away from him. Dalton knew, was in on the plan. He had even
given us the device we were about to use to destroy a person's house. His
corruption was like something tangible hanging over the back yard.

Suddenly the party wasn't fun. The smell of chlorine gagged me. The music was
like an assault.

No one else was bothered. Liz stood with a cocked hip and ran a hand through her
thick hair while she talked to a group of boys. Justin laughed. More bodies hit
the pool. The music blared.

I went to the cooler and helped myself to a beer. Already empties filled a
bushel basket.

I tried to ignore Mr. Dalton, but he appeared next to me as I stood by the pool.
"I'm glad you kids can have fun now," he said. "Before you know it you'll be
grown and you'll be running everything. It's inevitable, you know." He smiled
and patted my shoulder. "You're the next step in evolution. You're as far above
humans as humans are above apes. You'll bring down the stupidity of human beings
and out of the rubble create a new Athens."

"And of course we'll remember our friends who protected us," I said. I had no
idea why I said it, the words simply materializing as if someone else had said
them.

And it happens again. Only this time I am wide awake and conscious of every
detail.

All of the chaotic movement around me slows while my brain functions at normal
speed. Hours pass between the time a boy leaps from the diving board and his
body hits the water.

I watch. His approach is a straight line. I know the angle of his descent. I see
precisely the spot he will hit. He will hit the water flat. He does. The whack
of his body on the water is a thunderclap. For ages he remains beneath the
water. At last he breaks the surface, bubbles scatter along the water like storm
clouds in some cyclonic vortex. The boy grimaces, holds his stomach. I watch
each fold in his face reverberate off the next, driving the expression into his
forehead, tectonic plates of skin carving a mountain range of a frown.

A girl tiptoes across the tiles. She heads for the diving board, but her gait
lists to the left. She will turn from the diving board and instead go to the
beer cooler. As if I had been watching her all night, I calculate that she will
not return to the pool. Beyond my line of sight, a boy is coming to her, a boy I
have known all night will couple with her without my ever once thinking that
thought, irresistibly drawn to her, propelled by the surging of his blood.

The boy enters my line of sight, traveling a path I glimpse from the corner of
my eye, joins the girl. They linger at the cooler. They walk arm in arm toward
the house, in step, bodies flowing with each other in a soundless swaying tango.

It's as if all the myriad details of life that I normally filter out of
conscious perception now come to me in slow motion, giving me time to analyze
them all, see the patterns, connect the dots. I know I have done this all along,
only subconsciously, and now the process has become conscious, the boundary
between the two vanishing, night entwined with day.

I watch the boy across the circle from me. I have paid no attention to him all
night, but I somehow know he has drunk four beers and finished the joint. I know
he will stand and lose his balance because his foot is deformed. I have known
him for ten years and never noticed his limp, but all the same I know he walks
with a slight limp. I have known it all along, but never consciously thought it.

The boy stands, loses his balance as he places his weight on his deformed foot,
falls back into his chair, laughs, again stands. Behind the chair I see four
empty beer cans.

I turn and watch Justin push his way in slow motion through the group of boys
circling Liz and put his arm around her and toss his beer can away. I watch the
can arc through the air and descend and bounce in slow motion against the pool
tiles. Without looking I know a glass has been set on the ground. I do not
remember seeing it, or seeing someone put it down, but somewhere beneath the
level of consciousness I must have registered the fact without ever once being
aware of it. I know the can's trajectory will knock it against the glass. I hear
the clink, turn and watch the glass topple over, shatter, chips of glass
spinning across the tiles like gas clouds spewing from a supernova.

As I watch the glass I know I am calculating something, not knowing what, then
suddenly thinking it.

Bobby Preston did not trash my house. The norms left school an hour after us.
But my classmates had the time while I was detained by Mr. Dalton.

I look at Mr. Dalton. Our eyes meet. He smiles. I notice that his smile is made
by his mouth alone and that the rest of his face takes no part in the
expression. Above the smile his predatory bird eyes watch me, intense,
malevolent.

He is not our friend. He is not our teacher. He has set the Net buzzing about
me. The name Archimedes I saw on the Net makes sense now. He has used the Net
and my classmates against me to scare me into accepting the Institute. Perhaps
he really believes we will rule the world one day. Perhaps he feels important
being associated with us, the way empty people always gain substance from the
shadows of the mighty.

I do not care about his motives.

He has betrayed me. He has caused my friend to feel pain.

"You son of a bitch," I say.

Mr. Dalton's smile falters.

"You're just as sick as Bobby Preston."

"Eric, I...."

Mr. Dalton screams. His face so close to mine contorts like a death's head. The
air fills with the stench of burning flesh. He twists away from me. I am heat. I
am the fire of a sun.

Mr. Dalton stumbles away from me, stares wildly at the charred flesh of his arm,
then drops to his knees and shoves his burnt arm into the pool.

The mods back away from me, shocked, scared.

For a moment I yearn to go after them all.

Instead, I run. I run from the house, run in a circle, endlessly pass the same
houses, the same streets, the same trees, or perhaps I stand still while the
neighborhood revolves around me, endlessly orbits the fiery violence of a star
that in reality is a scared shivering boy. Everywhere I go I think of circles
and slowly I come to realize the circles are some communication from my brain
and my cells in their manic hyperdrive and then I know the meaning of the
circles and I collapse for a moment on a lawn and stare at the fabric of
diamonds spread across the sky.

We are all trapped in our circles, norms and mods and Lew and Liz and me,
mindlessly returning again and again to repeat the old patterns of our genes and
our lives. I have been hurt by parents who could not love and so I have learned
to hurt and in turn hurt Bobby Preston and smiling Mr. Dalton. Something deep
within the root cellar of my soul has become manifest in the power to burn.

And beneath the learning, hardwired into our genes, is the never-ending circle
of our pack with all its fear and hatred of the outsider, sitting within us like
some squat and venomous toad.

I want out of my circle.

My mind slows down to catch up with the world, or perhaps the world speeds up.
Eventually I stood and walked across the subdivision to Lew's house and sat on
his porch and waited for him to return from the movies. Near midnight Lew and
Screwy appeared on the walk. Lew flinched when he realized someone sat on his
porch, instinctively turned his bandaged shoulder away from me, again hesitated
when he realized it was me.

"Sleeves?" he said. "What the hell are you doing here? You're in a bathing suit
and wet and...."

"And you call me Screwy," Screwy said.

They sat on either side of me and I told him about the party, about Mr. Dalton
and the mods.

"You know what the awful part is?" Lew finally asked. I shook my head.

"I was really looking forward to beating the shit out of Bobby Preston for
trashing your house."

I laughed, surprised at the sound of my own voice. "After what they did to you?"

"Sure, it's personal now. Then your mod buddies will pay. Then we'll get Mr.
Dalton."

"Don't," I said. "You're better than they are. Leave it at that."

Lew lit a cigarette. For a moment I felt dizzy watching the glowing ember, then
the feeling passed. We shared the cigarette in the quiet and cool midnight.

At last I said, "I think I have to go to the Harvard Institute. I need to know
about myself. I have to learn how to control this -- whatever it is."

Lew nodded. "So Dalton wins after all."

"No," I said. "It's for my own sake. If I meet others like me then maybe we can
learn from each other. I just know I have to try something different."

He nodded again. We shared another cigarette and then it was time to leave.

Screwy said, "We would have split up anyways. Next fall's high school. We'd go
to the public and you'd go to the academy and we'd never see each other."

Lew said, "Sometimes he makes sense." We sat in silence for a while, then Lew
said, "Take care."

"You too," I said.

I stand to leave, hesitate as again time slows down. Something is different. I
do not know what, only feel the change. Then it makes sense.

Instinctively, I reach down and touch Lew's damaged shoulder.

The healing begins.