Jack was on the roof, talking to his gargoyle. "You've got to go," he told her. He had his Super-Soaker, but he hadn't had the heart to use it on her yet.
The gargoyle was looking a lot better—almost plump, in fact. It made sense, he thought wryly. He'd looked up gargoyles in the Hell database, and found out that gargoyles fed as much off of negative emotions as they did off of real food. The pickings must have been pretty slim here while he and Rhea were a going concern. So why had the gargoyle stayed?
"Where pretty lady?" she asked. "You, she, no clothes, make bounce-bounce. Why no more?"
"I wish I knew," Jack said. "I really do."
"I no clothes, I pretty, bounce real good," the gargoyle announced.
Jack shuddered. He wasn't that far gone. Yet.
The gargoyle reached out and grabbed him lewdly.
"Hey stop that!" He slapped her hand back. "You've got to go," he repeated, and picked up the Super-Soaker. She looked at him in puzzlement. He sighed—he couldn't pull the trigger. Devils, yes; demons, yes; gremlins, yes—but he felt like he knew this gargoyle.
"Look," he said, "you can stay awhile. But try to do your business over the back side of the house, where it'll help the flowers. And—say, what's your name, anyway?"
"Name not Anyway," the gargoyle said sadly. "Got no name."
Jack had a wicked thought. "Really?" He grinned. "You do now. I'll call you Carol."
"Oh!" the gargoyle said. "Good name! She pay good."
A chill ran down Jack's spine, and he had the feeling an entire gaggle of geese had walked across his grave. "What," he whispered, "are you talking about?"
"You know. Carol-lady pay devil, he pay us keep you company. Me, gremlins. Good job. See?" She opened a marsupiallike pouch and pulled out a grimy twenty-dollar bill. "Been hard work, sometimes, but good worker I."
Jack stared incredulously at the pouch and at the money. Carol. She was paying a devil to plague him. No wonder his life had gotten so weird.
"Well, I'll be damned," he said finally.
"No, you nice man," the gargoyle said. And then, hopefully, "Bounce-bounce?"