Philippa
Gregory holds a doctorate from the University of Edinburgh
for her
research
into eighteenth-century literature. She trained as a journalist and
worked for
the BBC, She lives with her family in West Sussex. Philippa Gregory is
best
known for her eighteenth-century novels, Wideacre, The Favoured Child
and
Meridon, which together make up the best selling saga of the Lacey
family and
are published by Penguin. Penguin also publish her novel Mrs Hartley
and the
Growth Centre. Her most recent novel is Fallen Skies. She has also
written
several children's books, Princess Florizella (Puffin 1989), Florizella
and the
Wolves and Florizella and the Giant.
In my
dream I smelled the dark sulphurous stink of a passing witch and I
pulled up
the coarse blanket over my head and whispered 'Holy Mary, Mother of
God, pray
for us', to shield me from my nightmare of terror. Then I heard
shouting and
the terrifying crackle of hungry flames and I came awake in a rush of
panic and
sat up on my pallet and looked fearfully around the limewashed cell.
The
walls were orange and scarlet, with the bobbing light of reflected
flames, and
I could hear yells of angry rioting men. I knew at once that the worst
thing
had happened. Lord Hugo had come to wreck us, Lord Hugo had come for
the abbey,
as we had feared he might come, since King Henry's Visitors had found
us
wealthy and pretended that we were corrupt. I flung on my gown and
snatched my
rosary, and my cape, crammed my feet into my boots, tore open the door
of my
cell and peered into the smoke-filled corridor of the novitiate
dormitory.
The
abbey was stone-built, but the rafters would burn, the beams, and the
wooden
floors. Even now the flames might be licking upwards, under my feet. I
heard a
little whimper of fear and it was my own craven voice. On my left were
the
slits of open windows and red smoke swirled in through them like the
tongues of
hungry serpents licking towards my face. I peered out with watering
eyes and
saw, black against the fire, the figures of men crossing and re
crossing the
cloister green with their arms full of treasures, our treasures, holy
treasures
from the church. Before them was a bonfire and while I watched
incredulously
these Satan's soldiers ripped off the jewelled covers and threw the
fluttering
pages of our books into the flames. Beyond them was a man on a big roan
horse -
black as death against the firelight, with his head thrown back,
laughing like
the devil: Lord Hugo.
I
turned with a sob of fear and coughed on the smoke. Behind me were the
single
cells where the young novitiates, my sisters in Christ, were still
sleeping. I
took two steps down the corridor to bang on the doors and scream at
them to
awake and save themselves from this devil inside our gates and his
fiery death
of burning. I put my hand out to the first door, but the smoke was in
my throat
and no sound came. I choked on my scream, I swallowed and tried to
scream
again. But I was trapped in this dream, voiceless and powerless, my
feet wading
through brimstone, my eyes filled with smoke, my ears clogged with the
shouts
of heretics wrecking their way to damnation. I tapped on one door with
a light
hand. I made no sound. No sound at all.
I gave
a
little moan of despair and then I picked up my skirts and I fled from
my
sisters, from my duty and from the life I had chosen. I scuttered down
the
breakneck spiral staircase like a rat from a burning hayrick.
The
door at the foot of the stairs was barred, beside it was the cell where
my
mother in Christ, the Abbess Hildebrande slept. I paused. For her above
them
all, I should have risked my life. For all of my young sisters I should
have
screamed a warning: but to save Mother Hildebrande I should have burned
alive
and it would have been no more than her due. I should have banged her
door off
its hinges, I should have screamed out her name, I should never, never
have
left without her. She was my guardian, she was my mother, she was my
saviour.
Without her I would have been nothing. I paused for a moment - a bare
half
second I gave her - then I smelled smoke spilling under the refectory
door and
I flew at the bolts on the back door, rattled them open, and I was out
in the
west garden with the herb-beds around me cool and pale in the darkness.
I
could
hear the shouts from the heart of the abbey but out here in the gardens
all was
clear. I raced down the formal garden paths and flung myself into the
slim
shadow of the door in the outer wall and paused for one moment. Over
the rapid
thudding of my pulse I heard the noise of the coloured windows cracking
in the
heat and then the great crash as they were smashed by a thrown
candlestick or
silver plate. On the far side of the door I could hear the river
flowing,
splashing over the stones, showing me my way back to the outside world
like the
pointing finger of my own especial devil.
It was
not too late, I was not yet through the door. For a second, for half a
breath,
I paused, tested my courage to go back -pictured myself hammering on
the doors,
breaking the windows, yelling for my mother, Mother Hildebrande, and my
sisters, and facing whatever was to come at her side, with her hand in
mine,
and my sisters all around me.
I
waited for no more than a moment. I fled out of the little garden door,
and
slammed it shut behind me.
No one
saw me go.
Only
the eyes of God and His Blessed Mother were on me. I felt their gaze
burning
into my back, as I kilted up my skirts and ran. Ran from the wrecked
chapel and
the burning abbey, ran with the speed of a traitor and a coward. And as
I ran,
I heard behind me a single thin scream - cut off short. A cry for help
from
someone who had woken too late. It did not make me pause - not even for
a
second. I ran as if the very gates of hell were opening at my heels,
and as I
ran, leaving my mother and my sisters to die, I thought of Cain the
brother-killer. And I believed that by the time I came to Bowes village
the
branches of the trees and the tendrils of the ivy would have slashed at
me as I
ran - laid their stripes upon me - so that I would be marked forever,
as Cain,
with the curse of the Lord.
Morach
was ready for her bed when she heard the noise at the door of the
hovel. A
pitiful scratch and a little wail like a whipped dog. She waited for
long
moments before she even stepped towards the threshold. Morach was a
wise woman,
a seer; many came to her door for dark gifts and none went away
disappointed.
Their disappointment came later.
Morach
waited for clues as to her visitor. A child? That single cry had been
weakly,
like an ailing bairn. But no sick child, not even a travelling tinker's
brat,
would find the courage to tap on Morach's door during the hours of
darkness. A
girl thickening in the waist, slipped out while her heavy-handed father
slept?
A visitor from the darker world, disguised as a cat? A wolf? Some
misshapen,
moist horror?
'Who's
there?' Morach asked, her old voice sharp. There was silence. Not the
silence
of absence; but the silence of one who has no name.
'What
do they call you?' Morach asked, her wit quickened by fear.
'Sister
Ann,' came the reply, as low as a sigh from a deathbed.
Morach
stepped forward and opened the door and Sister Ann slumped into the
room, her
shaven head glinting obscenely in the guttering candle's light, her
eyes black
with horror, her face stained and striped with smuts.
'Saints!'
Morach said coolly. 'What have they done to you now?'
The
girl swayed against the door-frame and put out a hand to steady
herself. 'They're
gone,' she said. 'Mother Hildebrande, the sisters, the abbey, the
church. All
gone. Burned out by the young lord.'
Morach
nodded slowly, her eyes raking the white, stained face.
'And
you?' she asked. 'Not
taken for treason
or heresy? Not seized by the
soldiers, by the young Lord Hugo?' 'No,' she said softly, her breath
like a
sigh. 'You ran,' Morach said flatly, without sympathy. 'Yes.'
'Anyone
see you? Anyone follow you here? Anyone coming behind to burn me out,
as well
as you and your saintly sisters?' 'No.'
Morach
laughed as if the news gave her especial, malicious, pleasure. 'Ran too
fast
for them, did you? Too fleet of foot for the fat soldiers to follow?
Faster
than your sisters, I'll be bound. Left them to burn, did you? While you
hitched
up your skirts and took to your heels? That won't get you into the
sacred
calendar, my little martyr! You've lost your chance now!'
The
girl bowed her head at the mockery. 'May I come in?' she asked humbly.
Morach
stepped back, eyed her brightly. 'To stay?' she asked conversationally
- as if
the world were not black as pitch outside her door and a wind with rain
at the
back of it howling down the valley, gathering speed in the darkness.
Sister
Ann nodded, dumb with weariness. 'For long?' Morach jibed.
She
nodded again. The dark smears on her bare head and face gave her the
look of an
old striped plough ox.
'Coming
back to live here?' Morach asked, covering old ground again for the
pleasure of
reviewing the landscape.
Ann
raised her head. 'Will you take me back?' she asked. 'My vows are
broken - I
was not obedient. I ran when the soldiers came - I am a traitor and a
coward.
My house is broken up and my sisters are dead or worse. I am nothing. I
am
nothing.'
She
paused for a moment. 'My mother is dead,' she said very low. 'Mother
Hildebrande, the abbess. She will be in paradise this night, in
paradise with
all her daughters, with all her true daughters.' Sister Ann shook her
head
dully. 'This is the only home I have ever known except the nunnery.
Will you
take me back, Morach?'
Morach
paused a moment. The girl was coming back, she had known it the moment
she let
her cross the threshold. But Morach was a woman whose skills led her to
savour
each moment.
'I
might,' she said, consideringly. 'You're young and strong, and you have
the
Sight. You were my changeling child, given to me for my apprentice, and
I would
have made you the next wise woman after me but you chose the nuns. I've
not
replaced you. You could come back.' She stared at the pale sullen face,
the
clear shape of the bones. 'You're lovely enough to send a man mad,' she
said.
'You could be wed. Or we could sell you to a lover.'
Sister
Ann kept her gaze down, her eyes on her muddy boots and the filthy
rushes on
the earth floor. Then she looked at Morach. Her eyes were not black but
a dark,
measureless blue. 'I am the bride of Christ,' she said bluntly. 'I can
wed no
man. I can use no dark arts. There is nowhere for me to go, and I have
broke my
vows; but I was made a bride of Christ for life, and I am a bride of
Christ
still. I will be His until the day I die. I will never have any man. I
will
never use the skills of the devil. I am your apprentice no more.'
She
turned her face from the smoking light and took one step towards the
door. A
sharp scud of rain rattled through the open door and into her face. She
did not
even blink.
'Come
in!' said Morach irritably. 'Away inside! We'll speak of this more.
We'll speak
of this later. But you can go no further tonight.'
She
let
Morach take her by the arm, lead her to the little fire in the centre
of the
room where the banked down embers glowed under the peat.
'Sleep
here,' Morach said. 'Are you hungry? There's porridge in the pot.'
She
shook her head and, without another word, sank to her knees before the
fire,
her hand fumbling in her gown for her beads.
'Sleep
then,' Morach said again, and took herself up a rickety ladder to the
loft
which spanned half of the room.
From
that little eyrie she could watch the girl who did not sleep for a good
hour,
but kneeled before the cooling fire and prayed very earnestly, moving
her lips
and telling her beads. Upstairs, in the shelter of a dirty nest of torn
blankets, Morach pulled out a bag of carved white bones, and in the
light of
the smoking tallow candle spilled out three of them and summoned what
powers
she possessed to see what would become of Sister Ann the nun, now that
she was
Sister Ann no more.
She
laid them in a row and stared at them; her dark eyes narrowed to slits
with
pleasure.
'Married
to Lord Hugo!' she said softly. 'Or as good as! Fat eating, soft
living.' She
leaned forward a little closer. 'Death at the end of it,' she said.
'But there
is death at the end of every road - and in any case, she should have
died
tonight.'
She
picked up the bones and slid them back into the little ragged purse,
hid them
beneath her mattress of straw. Then she pulled a verminous bit of
woollen shawl
up around her shoulders, kicked off her rough clogs, and slept, smiling
in her
sleep.
Sister
Ann was the first to wake in the morning, alert for the knock of the
nun
summoning her to lauds. She opened her eyes ready to call 'Deo
gratias!' to the
familiar 'Benedicite!' but there was silence. She blinked when she saw
dark rafters
and the weave of a thatched roof above her eyes instead of the plain,
godly,
white plaster of her cell. Then her eyes went darker yet with the
sudden
flooding-in of awareness of her loss and she turned her face and her
bald head
into the hank of cloth which served as a pillow and wept.
Softly,
under her breath, she said her prayers, over and over with little hope
of a
hearing. There was no comforting chant of the prayers around her, no
sweet
strong smell of incense. No clear high voices soaring upwards to praise
the
Lord and His Mother. She had deserted her sisters, she had abandoned
her mother
the abbess to the cruelty and rage of the wreckers and to the man who
had
laughed like the devil. She had left them to burn in their beds and she
had run
like a light-footed fawn all the way back to her old home, as if she
had not
been a child of the abbey for the past four years, and Mother
Hildebrande's
favourite. 'You awake?' Morach said abruptly.
'Yes,'
replied the girl with no name. 'Get some fresh water and get the fire
going.
It's as cold as a saint's crutch this morning.'
She
got
up readily enough and pulled her cape around her shoulders. She
scratched the
soft white skin of her neck. All around her neck and behind her ears
was a
chain of red flea bites. She rubbed at them, scowling, while she
kneeled before
the hearth. All that was left of the fire on the little circle of
flints
embedded on the earth floor was grey ash, with a rosy core. She laid a
little
kindling and bent down her bald head to blow. The curl of wood-shaving
glowed
red. She blew a little more strongly. It glowed brighter and then a red
line of
fire ate its way down the curl of wood. It met a twig, lying across it,
and the
light died as it smouldered sullenly. Then with a little flicker and a
puff the
twig caught alight, burned with a yellow flame. She sat back on her
heels and
rubbed her face with a grimy hand. The smell of the wood smoke was on
her
fingers and she flinched from it, as if she smelled blood.
'Get
the water!' Morach shouted from her bed. She pushed her cold feet into
her damp
boots and went outside.
The
cottage stood alone, a few miles west of the village of Bowes. In front
of it
was the dull silver of the River Greta, slowly moving without a ripple.
The
river rose and sank through great limestone slabs at this stretch, deep
and
dangerous in winter, patchy in drought. The cottage had been built
beside one
of the deeper pools which was always filled, even in the driest of
summers.
When Sister Ann had been a little girl, and everyone had used her given
name of
Alys, and Morach had been Widow Morach and well-respected, the children
from
the village used to come out here to splash and swim. Alys played with
them,
with Tom, and with half a dozen of the others. Then Morach had lost her
land to
a farmer who claimed that he owned it. Morach - no man's woman,
sharp-tempered
and independent -had fought him before the parish and before the church
court.
When she lost (as everyone knew she would, since the farmer was a pious
man and
wealthy), she swore a curse against him in the hearing of the whole
village of
Bowes. He had fallen sick that very night and later died. Everyone knew
that
Morach had killed him with her snake-eyed glare.
If he
had not been so thoroughly hated in the village it would have gone
badly for
Morach after that. But his widow was a pleasant woman, glad to be free
of him,
and she made no complaint. She called Morach up to the farmhouse and
asked her
for a poultice to ease her backache, and overpaid her many times to
ensure that
Morach bore no dangerous grudge. The old farmer's death was explained
easily
enough by his family's history of weak hearts. Morach took care not to
boast.
She
never got her land back. And after that day the village children did
not come
to play in the deep pool outside her door. Those visitors who dared the
lonely
road and the darkness came huddled in their cloaks, under cover of
night. They
left with small bunches of herbs, or little scraps of writing on paper
to be
worn next to the skin, sometimes heads full of dreams and unlikely
promises.
And the village remembered a tradition that there had always been a
cunning
woman in the cottage by the river. A cunning woman, a wise woman, an
indispensable friend, a dangerous enemy. Morach - with no land to
support her,
and no man to defend her - nurtured the dangerous superstition, took
credit and
high payment for cures, and blamed deaths on the other local wizards.
Only
Tom still came openly up the road from Bowes, and everyone knew he was
courting
Morach's little foundling-girl, Alys, and that they would be wed as
soon as his
parents gave their consent.
For
one
long summer they courted, sitting by the river which ran so smoothly
and so
mysteriously down the deep crevices of the river bed. For one long
summer they
met every morning before Tom went to work in his father's fields and
Morach
called Alys to walk out over the moor and find some leaf or some weed
she
wanted, or dig in the stony garden.
They
were very tender together, respectful. On greeting and at parting they
would
kiss, gently, on the mouth. When they walked they would hold hands and
sometimes he would put his arm around her waist, and she would lean her
golden-brown head on his shoulder. He never caught at her, or pulled
her about,
or thrust his hands inside her brown shawl or up her grey skirt. He
liked best
to sit beside her on the river-bank and listen to her telling tales and
inventing stories.
Her
favourite time was when his parents were working in Lord Hugh's fields
and he
could take her to the farm and show her the cow and the calf, the pig,
the
linen chest, the pewter and the big wooden bed with the thick old
curtains.
Alys would smile then, her dark eyes as warm as a stroked cat. 'Soon
we'll be
together,' Tom would murmur. 'Here,' Alys said.
'I
will
love you every day of my life,' Tom would promise.
'And
we'll live here,' she said.
When
Morach lost her fields and did not get them back, Tom's parents looked
higher
for him than a girl who would bring nothing but a tumbledown shack and
a patch
of ground all around it. Alys might know more about flowers and herbs
than
anyone in the village, but Tom's parents did not need a daughter-in-law
who
knew twenty different poisons, forty different cures. They wanted a
jolly,
round-faced girl who would bring a fat dowry of fields and perhaps a
grazing
cow with a weaned calf. They wanted a girl with broad hips and strong
shoulders
who could work all day in their fields and have a good supper ready for
them at
night. One who would give birth without fuss so that there would be
another Tom
in the farmhouse to inherit when they had gone.
Alys,
with her ripple of golden-brown unbraided hair, her basket of leaves
and her
pale reserved face, was not their choice. They told Tom frankly to put
her out
of his mind; and he told them that he would marry where he willed, and
that if
they forced him to it he would take Alys away - even as far as Darneton
itself
- he would do it and go into service if needs be.
It
could not be done. Lord Hugh would not let two young people up and off
his land
without his say-so. But Lord Hugh was an ill man to invoke in a
domestic
dispute. He would come and give fair enough judgement, but he would
take a
fancy to a pewter pint-pot on his way out, or he saw a horse he must
have, cost
what it may. And however generous he claimed to be, he would pay less
than the
Castleton butter-market price. Lord Hugh was a sharp man with a hard
eye. It
was best to solve any problems well away from him.
They
ignored Tom. They went in secret to the abbess at the abbey and they
offered
her Alys. They claimed that the child had the holy gift of healing,
that she
was a herbalist in her own right, but dreadfully endangered by living
with her
guardian - old Morach. They offered the abbey a plump dowry to take her
and
keep her behind the walls, as a gift from themselves.
Mother
Hildebrande, who could hear a lie even from a stranger - and forgive it
- asked
them why they were so anxious to get the little girl out of the way.
Then Tom's
mother cried and told her that Tom was mad for the girl and that she
would not
do for them. She was too strange and unlike them. She had turned Tom's
head,
perhaps with a potion - for whoever heard of a lad wanting to marry for
love?
He would recover but while the madness was on him they should be parted. 'I'll see her,' Mother
Hildebrande had said.
They sent Alys up to the abbey with a false message and she was shown
through
the kitchen, through the adjoining refectory and out of the little door
to
where Mother Hildebrande was sitting in the physic garden at the
smiling
western side of the abbey, looking down the hill to the river, deeper
here and
better stocked with fish. Alys had approached her through the garden in
a daze
of evening sunshine and her golden-brown hair had shone: like the halo
of a
saint, Mother Hildebrande had thought. She listened to Alys' message
and smiled
at the little girl and then walked with her around the raised flower
and
herb-beds. She asked her if she recognized any of the flowers and how
she would
use them Alys looked around the walled warm garden as if she had come
home
after a long journey, and touched everything she saw, her little brown
hands
darting like harvest mice from one leaf to another. Mother Hildebrande
listened
to the childish high voice and the unchildish authority. This one is
meadowsweet,' Alys said certainly. 'Good for sickness in the belly when
there
is much soiling. This one looks like rue: herb-grace.' She nodded
solemnly. 'A
very powerful herb against sweating sickness when it is seethed with
marygold,
feverfew, burnet sorrel and dragons." She looked up at Mother
Hildebrande.
'As a vinegar it can prevent the sickness, did you know? And this one I
don't
know.' She touched it, bent her little head and sniffed at it. 'It
smells like
a good herb for strewing,' she said. 'It has a clear, clean smell. But
I don't
know what powers it has. I have never seen it before.'
Mother
Hildebrande nodded, never taking her eyes from the small face, and
showed Alys
flowers she had never seen, herbs from faraway countries whose names
she had
never even heard.
'You
shall come to my study and see them on a map,' Mother Hildebrande
promised.
Alys' heart-shaped face looked up at her. 'And perhaps you could stay
here. I
could teach you to read and write,' the old abbess said. 'I need a
little
clerk, a clever little clerk.'
Alys
smiled the puzzled smile of a child who has rarely heard kind words.
'I'd work
for you,' she said hesitantly. 'I can dig, and draw water, and find and
pick
the herbs you want. If I worked for you, could I stay here?'
Mother
Hildebrande put a hand out to Alys' pale curved cheek. 'Would you want
to do
that?' she asked. 'Would you take holy orders and leave the world you
know far
behind you? It's a big step, especially for a little girl. And you
surely have
kin who love you? You surely have friends and family that you love?'
'I've
no kin,' Alys said, with the easy betrayal of childhood. 'I live with
old
Morach, she took me in twelve years ago, when I was a baby. She does
not need
me, she is no kin of mine. I am alone in the world.'
The
old
woman raised her eyebrows. 'And no one you love?' she asked. 'No one
whose
happiness depends on you?'
Alys'
deep blue eyes opened wide. 'No one,' she said firmly.
The
abbess nodded. 'You want to stay.' 'Yes,' Alys said. As soon as she had
seen
the large quiet rooms with the dark wood floors she had set her heart
on
staying. She had a great longing for the cleanness of the bare white
cells, for
the silence and order of the library, for the cool light of the
refectory where
the nuns ate in silence and listened to a clear voice reading holy
words. She
wanted to become a woman like Mother Hildebrande, old and respected.
She wanted
a chair to sit on and a silver plate for her dinner. She wanted a cup
made of
glass, not of tin or bone. And she longed, as only the hungry and the
dirty
passionately long, for clean linen and good food. 'I want to stay,' she
said.
Mother
Hildebrande rested her hand on the child's warm dirty head. 'And what
of your
little sweetheart?' she asked. 'You will have to renounce him. You may
never,
ever see him again, Alys. That's a hard price to pay.'
'I
didn't know of places like this,' Alys said simply. 'I didn't know you
could be
clean like this, I didn't know that you could live like this unless you
were
Lord Hugh. I didn't know. Tom's farmhouse was the best I had ever seen,
so that
was what I wanted. I did not know any better.'
'And
you want the best,' Mother Hildebrande prompted gently. The child's
yearning
for quality was endearing in one so young. She could not call it vanity
and
condemn it. The little girl loved the herb garden as well as the
refectory
silver.
Alys
hesitated and looked up at the old lady. 'Yes, I do. I don't want to go
back to
Morach's. I don't want to go back to Tom. I want to live here. I want
to live
here for ever and ever and ever.'
Mother
Hildebrande smiled. 'Very well,' she said gently. 'For ever and ever
and ever.
I will teach you to read and write and to draw and to work in the
still-room
before you need think of taking your vows. A little maid like you
should not
come into the order too young. I want you to be sure.'
'I am
sure,' Alys said softly. 'I am sure now. I want to live here for
always.'
Then
Mother Hildebrande had taken Alys into the abbey and put her in charge
of one
of the young novitiates who had laughed at her broad speech and cut
down a
little habit for her. They had gone to supper together and to prayers.
It was
characteristic of both Alys and Tom that while he waited for her as the
sun set
and a mocking lovers' moon came out to watch with him, Alys supped on
hot milk
and bread from fine pottery, and slept peacefully in the first clean
pallet she
had ever known.
All
through the night the abbess waked for the little girl. All through the
night
she kneeled in the lowliest stall in the chapel and prayed for her.
'Keep her
safe, Holy Mother,' she finished as the nuns filed in to their pews in
sleepy
silence for the first of the eight services of the day. 'Keep her safe,
for in
little Alys I think we have found a special child.'
Mother
Hildebrande set Alys to work in the herb garden and still-room, and
prepared
her to take her vows. Alys was quick to learn and they taught her to
read and
write. She memorized the solemn cadences of the Mass without
understanding the
words, then slowly she came to understand the Latin and then to read
and write
it. She faultlessly, flawlessly charmed Mother Hildebrande into loving
her as
if she had been her own daughter. She was the favourite of the house,
the pet
of all the nuns, their little sister, their prodigy, their blessing.
The women
who had been denied children of their own took a special pleasure in
teaching
Alys and playing with her, and young women, who missed their little
brothers
and sisters at home, could pet Alys and laugh with her, and watch her
grow.
Tom -
after hanging around the gate for weeks and getting several beatings
from the
porter - slouched back to his farm and his parents, and waited in
painful
silence for Alys to come home to him as she had promised faithfully she
would.
She
never did. The quiet order of the place soothed her after Morach's
tantrums and
curses. The perfume of the still-room and the smell of the herbs
scented her
hands, her gown. She learned to love the smooth coolness of clean linen
next to
her skin, she saw her dirty hair and the wriggling lice shaved off
without
regret, and smoothed the crisp folds of her wimple around her face.
Mother Hildebrande
employed her in writing letters in Latin and English for the abbey, and
dreamed
of setting her to copying and illuminating a bible, a grand new bible
for the
abbey. Alys learned to kneel in prayer until the ache in her legs faded
from
her mind and all she could see through her half-closed eyes were the
dizzying
colours of the abbey's windows and the saints twirling like rainbows.
When she
was fourteen, and had been fasting all day and praying all night, she
saw the
statue of the Holy Mother turn Her graceful head and smile at her,
directly at
Alys. She knew then, as she had only hoped before, that Our Lady had
chosen her
for a special task, for a special lesson, and she dedicated herself to
the life
of holiness.
'Let
me
learn to be like mother,' she whispered. 'Let me learn to be like
Mother
Hildebrande.'
She saw Tom only once again. She spoke to him through the little grille in the thick gate, the day after she had taken her vows. In her sweet clear voice she told him that she was a Bride of Christ and she would never know a man. She told him to find himself a wife, and be happy with her blessing. And she shut the little hatch of the thick door in his surprised face before he could cry out to her, or even give her the brass ring he had carried in his pocket for her ever since the day they plighted their troth when they were little children of nine.
In the
cold morning of her new life Sister Ann shivered, and drew her cape
tighter
around her. She dipped the bucket in the river and lugged it back up
the path
to the cottage. Morach, who had been watching her dreaming at the
riverside,
made no comment, but tumbled down the ladder to the fireside and nodded
to
Sister Ann to fill the pot and put some water on to heat.
She
said nothing while they shared a small piece of bread with last night's
porridge moistened with hot water. They shared a mug to drink the sour,
strong
water. It was brown and peaty from the moorland. Sister Ann was careful
to turn
it so her lips did not touch where Morach had drunk. Morach watched her
from
under her thick black eyebrows and said nothing.
'Now
then,' she said, when Ann had washed the cup and plate and the tin
spoon and
set them at the fireside. 'What will you do?'
Sister
Ann looked at her. Her dreaming of the past had reminded her of where
she
belonged. 'I must find another abbey,' she said decisively. 'My life is
dedicated to Christ and His Sainted Mother.'
Morach
hid a smile and nodded. 'Yes, little Sister,' she said. 'But all this
was not
sent solely to try your faith, others are suffering also. They are all
being
visited, they are all being questioned. You were fools enough at Bowes
to make
an enemy of Lord Hugh and his son but nowhere are the abbeys safe. The
King has
his eye on their wealth and your God is no longer keeping open house. I
dare
say there is not an abbey within fifty miles which would dare to open
its doors
to you.'
'Then
I
must travel. I must travel outside the fifty miles, north to Durham if
need be,
south to York. I must find another abbey. I have made my vows, I cannot
live in
the world.'
Morach
picked her teeth with a twig from the basket of kindling and spat
accurately
into the flames. 'D'you have some story ready?' she asked innocently.
'Got some
fable prepared already?'
Sister
Ann looked blank. Already the skin on her head was less shiny, the haze
of
light brown hair showed like an itchy shadow. She rubbed it with a
grimy hand
and left another dark smear. Her dark blue eyes were sunk in her face
with
weariness. She looked as old as Morach herself.
'Why
should I need a story?' she asked. Then she remembered her cowardice -
'Oh
Mary, Mother of God...'
'If
you
were seen skipping off it would go hard for you,' Morach said cheerily.
'I
can't think an abbess would welcome you once she knew that you smelled
smoke
and bolted like any sinner.' 'I could do penance ...'
Morach
chortled disbelievingly. 'It's more like they'd throw you out in your
shift for
strangers to use as they would,' she said. 'You're ruined, Sister Ann!
Your
vows are broke, your abbey is a smoking ruin, your sisters are dead or
raped or
fled. So what will you do?'
Sister
Ann buried her face in her hands. Morach sat at her ease until her
shoulders
stopped shaking and the sobbed prayers were silenced. It took some
time. Morach
lit a little black pipe, inhaled the heady herbal smoke and sighed with
pleasure.
'Best
stay here,' she offered. 'That's your best way. We'll get news here of
your
sisters and how they fared. If the abbess survived she'll seek you
here. Wander
off, and she'll not know where to find you. Maybe all of the girls ran
like you
- scattered back to their old homes -perhaps you'll all be forgiven.'
Sister
Ann shook her head. The smoke had been hot, the fire close to the
cloisters.
Most of the nuns would have been burned in their cells while they
slept. 'I
doubt they escaped,' she said.
Morach
nodded, hiding a gleam of amusement. 'You were the first out, eh?' she
asked.
'The quickest?' She paused for emphasis. 'Then there is nowhere for you
to go.
Nowhere at all.'
Sister
Ann swayed against the blow. Morach noticed the pallor of her skin. The
girl
was sick with shock.
'I'll
take you back,' Morach said. 'And people will stay mum. It will be as
if you
were never away. Four years gone and now you're back. Aged sixteen,
aren't
you?' She nodded, only half hearing.
'Ready
to wed,' Morach said with satisfaction. 'Or bed,' she added,
remembering the
reading of the bones and the young Lord Hugo.
'Not
that,' she said, her voice very low. 'I will stay with you, Morach, and
I'll
work for you, as I did before. I know more now, and I can read and
write. I
know more herbs too and flowers - garden flowers, not just wild ones.
But I
will only do God's work, only healing and midwifery. No charms, no
spells. I
belong to Christ. I will keep my vows here, as well as I can, until I
can find
somewhere to go, until I can find an abbess who will take me. I will do
God's
work of healing here, I will be Christ's bride here ...' She looked
around her.
'In this miserable place,' she said brokenly. 'I will do it as well as
I can.'
'Well
enough,' Morach said, quite unperturbed. 'You'll work for me. And when
the
young lord has ridden off north to harry the Scots and forgotten his
new sport
of tormenting nuns, you can step down to Castleton and seek some news.'
She
hauled herself to her feet and shook out her filthy gown. 'Now you're
back you
can dig that patch,' she said. 'It's been overgrown since you left.
I've a mind
to grow some turnips there for the winter months.'
The
girl nodded, and rose to her feet and went to the door. A new hoe stood
at the
side - payment in kind for hexing a neighbour's straying cattle.
'Sister Ann!'
Morach called softly. She spun around at once.
Morach
scowled at her. 'You never answer to that name again,' she said. 'D'you
hear
me? Never. You're Alys again now, and if anyone asks you, tell them you
went to
stay with your kin near Penrith. You're Alys. That's your name. I gave
it to
you once, now I give it to you back. Forget being Sister Ann, that was
another
life and it ended badly. You're Alys now - remember it.'
In the
aftermath of the firing of the abbey there were soldiers and bullyboys
chasing
the rumours of hidden treasure and golden chalices. They had little joy
in
Bowes village where the half-dozen families did not take kindly to
strangers
and where four or five were now out of work with the abbey ruined and
no
services needed. Morach let it be known that she had a new apprentice,
and if
anyone remembered the previous girl who had gone four long years ago,
no one
said. It was not a time for speculation and gossip. There were a dozen
vagrants
still hanging around the ruins of the abbey - refugees from the nuns'
charity
with nowhere else to go. The villagers of Bowes locked their doors,
refused
anyone claiming rights of residence, and chose not to talk about the
abbey, or
the nuns, or the night of the fire, or the minor thefts and pillaging
of the
ruined abbey which went on in the later days.
It was
said that the firing of the abbey had been a mistake. The soldiers led
by the
young Lord Hugo were homeward bound from a raid on the moss-troopers,
and they
stopped at the abbey only to frighten the nuns to do the King's will,
and
surrender their treasure and their bad popish ways. It had all begun
with some
wild sport, a bonfire of broken wood and some tar. Once the flames had
caught
there was nothing that Hugo could do, and besides the nuns had all died
in the
first minutes. The young lord had been drunk anyway, and could remember
little.
He confessed and did penance with his own priest - Father Stephen, one
of the
new faith who saw little sin in stamping out a nest of treasonous
papists - and
the villagers gleaned over the half-burned building and then started
carting
the stones away. Within a few weeks of her return to Morach's hovel,
Alys could
walk where she wished; no one recognized her as the half-starved waif
who had
gone away four years ago. Even if they had, no one would have taken the
risk of
reporting her, which would bring Lord Hugh down on the village or -
even worse
- his son, the mad young lord.
Alys
could go freely into the village whenever she wished. But mostly she
went up on
the moor. Every day, after digging and weeding in the dusty scrape of
the
vegetable patch, she went down to the river to wash her hands and
splash water
over her face. In the first few days she stripped and waded into the
water with
her teeth chattering, to wash herself clean of the smell of sweat and
smoke and
midden. It was no use. The earth under her fingernails and the grime in
the
creases of her skin would not come clean in the cold brackish water,
and
anyway, wading back to the frosty bank with shivery goose-flesh skin,
Alys had
only dirty clothes to wear. After a few weeks she lost her shudder of
repulsion
against the odour of her own body, soon she could barely smell even the
strong
stench of Morach. She still splashed water in her face but she no
longer hoped
to keep clean.
She
rubbed her face dry on the thick wool of her dirty robe and walked
upstream
along the river-bank till she came to the bridge where the river ran
beneath a
natural causeway of limestone slabs - wide enough to drive a wagon
across,
strong enough to carry oxen. She paused there and looked down into the
brown
peaty water. It flowed so slowly there seemed to be no movement at all,
as if
the river had died, had given up its life into stagnant, dark ponds.
Alys
knew better. When she and Tom had been little children they had
explored one of
the caves which riddled the river-bank. Squirming like fox cubs they
had gone
downwards and downwards until the passage had narrowed and they had
stuck - but
below them, they had heard the loud echoing thunder of flowing water,
and they
knew they were near the real river, the secret river which flowed all
day and
all night in eternal darkness, hidden deep beneath the false river bed
of dry
stones above.
Tom
had
been scared at the echoing, rushing noise so far below them. 'What if
it rose?'
he asked her. 'It would come out here!'
'It
does come out here,' Alys had replied. The seasons of her young life
had been
marked by the ebb and flow of the river, a dull drain in summer, a
rushing
torrent during the autumn storms. The gurgling holes where the sluggish
water
seeped away in summertime became springs and fountains in winter,
whirlpools
where the brown water boiled upwards, bubbling from the exploding
pressure of
the underground streams and underground rivers flooding from their
stone
cellars.
'Old
Hob is down there,' Tom said fearfully, his eyes dark.
Alys
had snorted and spat disdainfully, towards the darkness before them. 'I
ain't
afraid of him!' she said. 'I reckon Morach can deal with him all right!'
Tom
had
crossed his finger with his thumb in the sign against witchcraft and
crawled
backwards out of the hole and into the sunshine. Alys would have
lingered
longer. She had not been boasting to Tom, it was true: raised by Morach
she
feared nothing.
'Until
now,' she said quietly to herself. She looked up at the clear sky above
her and
the sun impartially burning down. 'Oh, Mother of God . ..' she started,
then
she broke off. 'Our Father ...' she began again, and again fell silent.
Then
her mouth opened in a silent scream and she pitched herself forward on
the
short coarse grass of the moorland. 'God help me!' she said in a
grief-stricken
whisper. 'I am too afraid to pray!'
It
seemed to her that she lay there in despair a long while. When she sat
up again
and looked around her the sun had moved - it was the middle of the
afternoon,
time for nones. Alys got to her feet slowly, like an old woman, as if
all her
bones were aching. She set off with small, slow steps up the hill to
where the
buds of early heather gleamed like a pale mauve mist on the slopes of
the hill.
A lapwing called overhead and fluttered down not far from her. Higher
again in
the blue air a lark circled and climbed, calling and calling, each
higher note
accompanied by a thrust of the little wings. Bees rolled drunkenly
among the early
heather flowers, the moor sweated honey. Everything around her was
alive and
thriving and joyful in the warm roil of the end of summer - everything
but
Alys, icy Alys, cold to her very bones.
She
stumbled a little as she walked, her eyes watching the sheep track
beneath her
feet. Every now and then she moaned very softly, like an animal in a
trap for a
long, long night of darkness. 'How shall I ever get back?' she said to
herself
as she walked. 'How shall I ever get back? How shall I ever learn to
bear it
here?'
At the
edge of the moor, where the land flattened in a curved sweep under the
wide,
unjudging sky, Alys paused. There was a little heap of stones tossed
into a
cairn by shepherds marking the path. Alys squatted down on one dry
stone and
leaned back against the others, closed her eyes and turned her face up
to the
sun, her face locked in a grimace of grief.
After
a
few moments she narrowed her eyes and looked southward. The moorland
was very
flat, bending across the skyline in a thousand shades of green, from
the dark
lushness of moss around a bog, to the pale yellow colour of weak grass
growing
on stone. The heather roots and old flowers showed pale grey and green,
a bleak
landscape of subtle beauty, half pasture, half desert. The new heather
growth
was dark green, the heather flowers pale as a haze. Alys looked more
sharply. A
man was striding across the moor, his plaid across his shoulder, his
step
determined. Alys got to her feet quietly, ready to turn and run. As he
saw the
movement he yelled out, and his voice was whipped away by the steady
wind which
blew over the top of the moor, even on the calmest of days. Alys
hesitated,
ready for flight, then he yelled again, faintly: 'Alys! Wait! It's me!'
Her
hand went to her pocket where the beads of her rosary were rounded and
warm.
'Oh no,' she said. She sat down again on the stones and waited for him
to come
up to her, watching him as he marched across the moor.
He had
filled out in the four years she had been away. When she had left he
had been a
boy, lanky and awkward but with a fair coltish beauty. Now he was
sturdy,
thickset. As he came closer she saw that his face was tanned red from
sun and
wind, marred with red spiders of broken veins. His eyes, still that
piercing
blue, were fixed on her.
'Alys,'
he said. 'I've only just heard you were back. I came at once to see
you.'
'Your
farm's the other way,' she said drily. He flushed a still deeper red.
'I had to
take a lamb over to Trowheads,' he said. 'This is my way back.'
Alys'
dark
eyes scanned his face. 'You never could lie to me, Tom.'
He
hung
his head and shuffled his thick boots in the dust. 'It's Liza,' he
said. 'She
watches me.' 'Liza?' Alys asked, surprised. 'Liza who?' Tom dropped to
sit on
the heather beside her, his face turned away, looking back over the way
he had
come. 'Liza's my wife,' he said simply. 'They married me off after you
took
your vows.'
Alys
flinched as if someone had pinched her. 'I didn't know,' she said. 'No
one told
me.'
Tom
shrugged. 'I would have sent word but ...' he trailed off and let the
silence
hang. 'What was the use?' he asked.
Alys
looked away, gripping the beads in her pocket so tight that they hurt
her
fingers. 'I never thought of you married,' she said. 'I suppose I
should have
known that you would.'
Tom
shrugged. 'You've changed,' he said. 'You're taller, I reckon, and
plumper. But
your eyes are the same. Did they cut your hair?'
Alys
nodded, pulling the shawl over her shaven head a little tighter.
'Your
lovely golden hair!' Tom said, as if he were bidding it farewell.
A
silence fell. Alys stared at him. 'You were married as soon as I left?'
she
asked. Tom nodded.
'Are
your mother and father still alive?' He nodded again. Alys' face
softened,
seeking sympathy. 'They did a cruel thing to me that day,' she said. 'I
was too
young to be sent among strangers.'
Tom
shrugged. 'They did what they thought was for the best,' he said. 'No
way for
them to foretell that the abbey would be burned and you would be
homeless and
husbandless at the end.'
'And
in
peril,' Alys said. 'If the soldiers come back they might take me. You
won't
tell anyone that I was at the abbey, will you?'
The
look he shot at her was answer enough. 'I'd die rather than see you
hurt,' he
said with a suppressed anger. 'You know that! You've always known it!
There
never was anyone else for me and there never will be.'
Alys
turned her face away. 'I may not listen to that,' she said.
He
sighed, accepting the reproof. 'I'll
keep your secret safe,' he said. 'In the village they think only that
Morach
has a new apprentice. She has said before that she was seeking a girl
to do the
heavy work. No one has thought of you. You've been forgotten. The word
is that
all the nuns are dead.'
'Why
did you come this way then?' Alys demanded. He shrugged his shoulders,
his
coarse skin blushing brick-red. 'I thought I'd know,' he said gruffly.
'If you
had died I would have known it.' He thumped his chest. 'In here,' he
said.
'Where I carry my pain for you. If you had died it would have gone ...
or
changed. I would have known if you were dead.'
Alys
nodded, accepting Tom's devotion. 'And what of your marriage?' she
asked. 'Are
you comfortable? Do you have children?'
'A boy
and a girl living,' he said indifferently. 'And two dead.' He paused.
There
were four years of longing in his voice. 'The girl looks a little like
you
sometimes,' he said.
Alys
turned her clear, heart-shaped face towards him. 'I have been waiting
to see
you,' she said. Tom shivered helplessly. Her voice was as piercing and
sweet as
plain-song. 'You have to help me get away.'
'I
have
been racking my brains to think how I can serve you, how I can get you
away
from that wretched old woman and that hovel!' Tom exclaimed. 'But I
cannot
think how! Liza watches the farm, she knows to a groat what we have
made. My
mother and she are hand in glove. I took a risk coming to see you at
all.'
'You
always did dare anything to be with me,' Alys said encouragingly.
Tom
inspected a callus on the palm of his hand. He picked moodily at the
hard skin
with one stubby fingernail. 'I know,' he said sullenly. 'I ran to you
like a
puppy when I was a child, and then I waited outside the abbey for you
like a
whipped dog.'
He
shifted his gaze to Alys' attentive face. 'Now you are come out of the
abbey
everything is changed again,' he said hesitantly. 'The King's Visitors
said
that you were not true nuns and the lord's chaplain says Hugo did well
to drive
you out. The abbey is gone, you are a free woman again, Alys.' He did
not dare
look at her but stared at the ground beneath his feet. 'I never stopped
loving
you,' he said. 'Will you be my lover now?'
Alys
shook her head with an instinctive revulsion. 'No!' she said. 'My vows
still
stand. Don't think of me like that, Tom. I belong to God.'
She
paused, shot him a sideways glance. It was a difficult path she had to
find. He
had to be tempted to help her, but not tempted to sin. 'I wish you
would help
me,' she said carefully. 'If you have money, or a horse I could borrow,
I could
find an abbey which might take me in. I thought you might know of
somewhere, or
can you find somewhere for me?'
Tom
got
to his feet. 'I cannot,' he said simply. 'The farm is doing badly, we
have only
one working horse and no money. God knows I would do anything in the
world for
you, Alys, but I have neither money nor a horse for you.'
Alys'
pale face was serene though she was screaming inside. 'Perhaps you will
think
of something,' she said. 'I am counting on you, Tom. Without your help,
I don't
know what will become of me.'
'You
were the one who always did the thinking,' he reminded her. 'I just
came to see
you, running like a dog to the master's whistle, like I always have
done. The
moment I heard the abbey was fired I thought of you. Then when I heard
Morach
had a new wench I thought she might be you. I came running to you. I
had no
plans.'
Alys
rose too and stood at his shoulder, very close. She could smell the
stale sweat
on him, and the stink of old blood from butchering, sour milk from
dairying. He
smelled like a poor man, like an old man. She stepped back.
Tom
put
his hand on her arm and Alys froze, forcing herself not to shake him
off. He
stared into her face. Alys' dark blue eyes, as candid as a child's, met
his
gaze. 'You don't want me as a man,' he said with a sudden insight. 'You
wanted
to see me, and you talk sweet, but all you want is for me to save you
from
living with Morach, just as your old abbess saved you from her before.'
'Why
not?' Alys demanded. 'I cannot live there. Morach is deep in sin and
dirt. I
cannot stay there! I don't want you as a man, my vows and my
inclinations are
not that way. But I need you desperately as a friend, Tom. Without your
help I
don't know what I will do. We promised to be true to one another and to
always
be there when the other was in any need or trouble.' She tightened the
rack on
his guilt. 'I would have helped you if you had been in need, Tom. If I
had a
horse you would never walk.' Tom shook his head slowly, as if to clear
it. 'I
can't think straight!' he said. 'Alys, tell me simply what you want me
to do!
You know I will do it. You know I always did what you wished.'
'Find
somewhere I can go,' she said rapidly. 'Morach hears nothing and I dare
not go
further than Castleton. But you can travel and ask people. Find me a
nunnery
which is safe, and then take me there. Lord Hugo cannot rage around the
whole
of the north. There must be other abbeys safe from his spite:
Hartlepool,
Durham or Whitby. Find where I can go, Tom, and take me.'
'You
cannot hope to find your abbess again?' Tom asked. 'I heard that all
the nuns
died.'
Alys
shook her head. She could remember the heat in the smoke which had
warned her
that the flames were very close. She remembered the thin clear scream
of pain
she had heard as she dived through the garden door. 'I will find a new
order,
and take a new name, and take my vows again,' she said.
Tom
blinked. 'Are you allowed to do that?' he asked. 'Won't they wonder who
you are
and where you come from?'
Alys
slid a measuring sideways glance at him. 'You would surely vouch for
me, Tom.
You could tell them I was your sister, could you not?'
Tom
shook his head again. 'No! I don't know! I suppose I would. Alys, I
don't know
what I can do and what I can't do! My head's whirling!'
Alys
stretched out her soft white hand to him and touched him gently in the
centre
of his forehead, between his eyes, with all her power in her
fingertips. She
felt her fingers warm as her power flowed through them. For a dizzying
moment
she thought she could do anything with Tom, make him believe anything,
do
anything. Tom closed his eyes at her touch and swayed towards her as a
rowan
sways in a breath of wind. 'Alys,' he said, and his voice was filled
with
longing. She took her hand away and he slowly opened his eyes.
'I
must
go,' she said. 'Do you promise you will find somewhere for me?'
He
nodded. 'Aye,' he said and hitched the plaid at his shoulder.
'And
take me there?'
'I'll
do all I can,' he said. 'I will ask what abbeys are safe. And when I
find
somewhere, I'll get you to it, cost me what it will.'
Alys
raised her hand in farewell and watched him walk away. When he was too
distant
to hear she breathed out her will after him. 'Do it, Tom,' she said.
'Do it at
once. Find me a place. Get me back to an abbey. I cannot stay here.'
It
grew
colder. The winds got up for a week of gales in September and when they
fell
still the moors, the hills, and even the valley were shrouded in a
thick mist
which did not lift for days. Morach lay in bed later and later every
morning.
'I'll
get up when the fire's lit and the porridge is hot,' she said, watching
Alys
from the sleeping platform. 'There's little point in us both getting
chilled to
death.'
Alys
kept
her head down and said little. Every evening she would turn her hands
to the
light of the fire and inspect the palms for roughness. The skin had
grown red
and sore, and then blistered, and the blisters had broken and then
healed. The
plump heel of her thumb was toughened already, and at the base of each
finger
the skin was getting dry and hard. She rubbed the oil from sheep's
fleeces into
the calluses, frowning in disgust at the rich, dirty smell, but nothing
could
stop her hands hardening and growing red and rough.
'I am
still fit to be a nun,' she whispered to herself. She told her rosary
before
she went to bed and said the evening prayers of vespers, not knowing
the time,
far away from the discipline of the chapel bell. One evening she
stumbled over
the words and realized she was forgetting them already. Forgetting her
prayers.
'I'm still fit to be a nun,' she said grimly before she slept. 'Still
fit to be
a nun if I get there soon.'
She
waited for news from Tom but none came. All she could hear in Bowes
were
confused stories of inspections and changes. The King's Visitors went
everywhere, demanding answers in silent cloisters, inspecting the
treasures in
orders sworn to poverty. No one knew how far the King would go. He had
executed
a bishop, he had beheaded Thomas More, the most revered man in England,
he had
burned monks at the stake. He claimed that the whole clergy was his,
parish
priests, vicars, bishops. And now he was looking to the abbeys, the
nunneries,
the monasteries. He wanted their power, he wanted their land, he could
not
survive without their wealth. It was not a time to attempt to enter an
order
with a false name and a burned gown.
'I am
cursed and followed by my curse,' Alys said resentfully, as she hauled
water
for Morach and pulled turnips from the cold, sticky ground.
Alys
felt the cold badly. After four years of sleeping in a stone building
where
huge fires of split trees were banked in to burn all night she found
the mud
floor of Morach's cottage unbearably damp and chill. She started
coughing at
night, and her cough turned to racking sobs of homesickness. Worst of
all were
the dreams, when she dreamed she was safe in the abbey, leaning back
against
Mother Hildebrande's knees and reading aloud by the light of clear wax
candles.
One night she dreamed that Mother Hildebrande had come to the cottage
and
called to Alys, scrabbling on her knees in the mud of the vegetable
patch. 'Of
course I am not dead!' Mother Hildebrande had said joyously. Alys felt
her
mother's arms come around her and hold her close, smelled the clean,
sweet
scent of her starched linen. 'Of course I am not dead!' she said. 'Come
home
with me!'
Alys
clung to the rags of her pillow and closed her eyes tighter to try to
stay
asleep, to live inside the dream. But always the cold of the floor
would wake
her, or Morach's irascible yell, and she would open her eyes and know
again the
ache of loss, and have to face again that she was far from her home and
far
from the woman who loved her, with no hope of seeing her mother or any
of her
sisters ever again.
It
rained for weeks, solid torrential rain which wept down out of the
skies
unceasingly. Every morning Alys woke to find her pallet bed wet from
the earth
of the hovel and her robe and her cape damp with morning mist. Morach,
grumbling, made a space for her on the sleeping platform and woke her
once,
twice, a night to clamber down the rickety ladder and keep the fire
burning.
Every day Alys went out downriver towards Bowes where the oak, elm and
beech
trees grew, looking for firewood. Every day she dragged home a fallen
bough of
heavy timber and hacked at it with Morach's old axe. Fetching wood for
the pile
could take most of the hours of daylight, but also there was the pot to
be
emptied on the sloppy midden, water to be lugged up from the river, and
turnips
and carrots to be pulled in the vegetable patch. Once a week there was
marketing to do in Bowes - a weary five-mile trudge there and back on
the
slippery riverside track or the exposed high road. Alys missed the
well-cooked
rich food of the nunnery and became paler and thinner. Her face grew
gaunt and
strained. When she went into Bowes one day a child shied a stone at the
back of
her gown and as she turned and cursed him he howled with fright at the
blank, mad
anger of her eyes.
With
the cold weather came sickness. Every day another person came to tap on
Morach's door and ask her or Alys for a spell or a draught or a favour
to keep
away the flux or chills or fevers. There were four child-births in
Bowes and Alys
went with Morach and dragged bloody, undersized babies screaming into
the
world.
'You
have the hands for it,' Morach said, looking at Alys' slim long
fingers. 'And
you practised on half a dozen paupers' babies at that nunnery of yours.
You can
do all the childbirths. You have the skills and I'm getting too old to
go out
at midnight.'
Alys
looked at her with silent hatred. Childbirth was the most dangerous
task for a
wise woman. Too much could go wrong, there were two lives at risk,
people
wanted both the mother and the child to survive and blamed the midwife
for
sickness and death. Morach feared failure, feared the hatred of the
village. It
was safer for her to send Alys alone.
The
village was nervous, suspicious. A wise woman had been taken up at
Boldron, not
four miles away, taken and charged with plaguing her neighbour's
cattle. The
evidence against her was dramatic. Neighbours swore they had seen her
running
down the river, her feet moving swiftly over the water but dry-shod.
Someone
had seen her whispering into the ear of a horse, and the horse had gone
lame. A
woman said that they had jostled each other for a flitch of bacon at
Castleton
market and that ever since her arm had ached and she feared it would
rot and
fall off. A man swore that he had ridden the wise woman down in the fog
on
Boldron Lane and she had cursed him and at once his horse shied and he
had
fallen. A little boy from the village attested that he had seen her
flying and
talking with the doves at the manor dovecot. All the country had
evidence
against her, the trial took days.
'It's
all nonsense,' Alys said, coming back from Bowes with the news.
'Chances that
could happen to anyone, a little child's bad dream. It's as if they had
gone
mad. They are listening to everything. Anyone can say anything against
her.'
Morach
looked grim. 'It's a bad fashion,' she said, surly. Alys dumped a sack
of goods
on the floor beside the fire and threw three fatty rashers of bacon
into the
broth bubbling in the three-legged pot. 'A bad fashion,' Morach said
again.
'I've seen it come through before, like a plague. Sometimes this time
of year,
sometimes midsummer. Whenever people are restless and idle and
spiteful.'
Alys
looked at her fearfully. 'Why do they do it?' she asked.
'Sport,'
Morach said. 'It's a dull time of year, autumn. People sit around fires
and
tell stories to frighten themselves. There's colds and agues that
nothing can
cure. There's winter and starvation around the corner. They need
someone to
blame. And they like to mass together, to shout and name names. They're
an
animal then, an animal with a hundred mouths and a hundred beating
hearts and
no thought at all. Just appetites.' 'What will they do to her?' Alys
asked.
Morach spat accurately into the fire. 'They've started already,' she
said.
"They've searched her for marks that she has been suckling the devil
and
they've burned the marks off with a poker. If the wounds show pus, that
proves
witchcraft. They'll strap her hands and legs and throw her in the River
Greta.
If she comes up alive -that's witchcraft. They might make her put her
hand in
the blacksmith's fire and swear her innocence. They might tie her out
on the
moor all night to see if the devil rescues her. They'll play with her
until
their lust is slaked.'
Alys
handed Morach a bowl of broth and a trencher of bread. 'And then?'
'They'll
set up a stake on the village green and the priest will pray over her,
and then
someone - the blacksmith probably - will strangle her and then they'll
bury her
at the crossroads,' Morach said. 'Then they'll look around for another,
and
another after that. Until something else happens, a feast or a holy
day, and
they have different sport. It's like a madness which catches a village.
It's a
bad time for us. I'll not go into Bowes until the Boldron wise woman is
dead
and forgotten.'
'How
shall we get flour?' Alys asked. 'And cheese?'
'You
can go,' Morach said unfeelingly. 'Or we can do without for a week or
two.'
Alys
shot a cold look at Morach. 'We'll do without,' she said, though her
stomach
rumbled with hunger.
At the
end of October it grew suddenly sharply cold with a hard white frost
every
morning. Alys gave up washing for the winter season. The river water
was stormy
and brown between stones which were white and slippery with ice in the
morning.
Every day she heaved a full bucket of water up the hill to the cottage
for
cooking; she had neither time nor energy to fetch water for washing.
Alys'
growing hair was crawly with lice, her black nun's robe rancid. She
caught
fleas between her fingers and cracked their little bodies between her
finger
and ragged thumbnail without shame. She had become inured to the smell,
to the
dirt. When she slopped out the cracked chamber-pot on to the midden she
no
longer had to turn away and struggle not to vomit. Morach's muck and
her own,
the dirt from the hens and the scraps of waste piled high on the midden
and
Alys spread it and dug it into the vegetable patch, indifferent to the
stench.
The
clean white linen and the sweet smell of herbs in the still-room and
flowers on
the altar of the abbey were like a dream. Sometimes Alys thought that
Morach's
lie was true and she had never been to the abbey, never known the nuns.
But
then she would wake in the night and her dirty face would be stiff and
salty
with tears and she would know that she had been dreaming of her mother
again,
and of the life that she had lost.
She
could forget the pleasure of being clean, but her hungry, growing,
young body
reminded her daily of the food at the abbey. All autumn Alys and Morach
ate
thin vegetable broth, sometimes with a rasher of bacon boiled in it and
the
bacon fat floating in golden globules on the top. Sometimes they had a
slice of
cheese, always they had black rye bread with the thick, badly milled
grains
tough in the dough. Sometimes they had the innards of a newly
slaughtered pig
from a grateful farmer's wife. Sometimes they had rabbit. Morach had a
snare
and Alys set a net for fish. Morach's pair of hens, which lived
underfoot in
the house feeding miserably off scraps, laid well for a couple of days
and
Morach and Alys ate eggs. Most days they had a thin gruel for breakfast
and
then fasted all day until nightfall when they had broth and bread and
perhaps a
slice of cheese or meat.
Alys
could remember the taste of lightly stewed carp from the abbey ponds.
The fast
days when they ate salmon and trout or sea fish brought specially for
them from
the coast. The smell of roast beef with thick fluffy puddings, the
warm,
nourishing porridge in the early morning after prayers with a blob of
abbey
honey in the middle and cream as yellow as butter to pour over the top,
hot ale
at bedtime, the feast-day treats of marchpane, roasted almonds, sugared
fruit.
She craved for the heavy, warm sweetness of hippocras wine after a
feast,
venison in port-wine gravy, jugged hare, vegetables roasted in butter,
the tang
of fresh cherries. Sometimes Morach kicked her awake in the night and
said with
a sleepy chuckle: 'You're moaning, Alys, you're dreaming of food again.
Practise
mortifying your flesh, my little angel!' And Alys would find her mouth
running
wet with saliva at her dreams of dinners in the quiet refectory while a
nun
read aloud to them, and always at the head of the table was Mother
Hildebrande,
her arms outstretched, blessing the food and giving thanks for the easy
richness of their lives, and sometimes glancing down the table to Alys
to make
sure that the little girl had plenty. 'Plenty,' Alys said longingly.
At the
end of October there was a plague of sickness in Bowes with half a
dozen
children and some adults vomiting and choking on their vomit. Mothers
walked
the few miles out to Morach's cottage every day with a gift, a round
yellow
cheese, or even a penny. Morach burned fennel root over the little
fire, set it
to dry and then ground it into powder and gave Alys a sheet of good
paper, a
pen and ink.
'Write
a prayer,' she said. 'Any one of the good prayers in Latin.'
Alys'
fingers welcomed the touch of a quill. She held it awkwardly in her
swollen,
callused hands like the key to a kingdom she had lost.
'Write
it! Write it!' Morach said impatiently. 'A good prayer against
sickness.'
Very
carefully Alys dipped her pen and wrote the simple words of the Lord's
Prayer,
her lips moving in time to the cadence of the Latin. It was the first
prayer
Mother Hildebrande had ever taught her.
Morach
watched inquisitively. 'Is it done?' she asked, and when Alys nodded,
silenced
by the tightness of her throat, Morach took the paper and tore it into
half a
dozen little squares, tipped the dusty powder into it and twisted the
paper to
keep the powder safe. 'What are you doing?' Alys demanded. 'Magic,'
Morach
replied ironically. 'This is going to keep us fat through the winter.'
She
was
right. The people in Bowes and the farmers all around bought the black
powder
wrapped in the special paper for a penny a twist. Morach bought more
paper and
set Alys to writing again. Alys knew there could be no sin in writing
the
Lord's Prayer but felt uneasy when Morach tore the smooth vellum into
pieces.
'Why
do
you do it?' Alys asked curiously one day, watching Morach grind the
root in a
mortar nursed on her lap as she sat by the fire on her stool.
Morach
smiled at her. "The powder is strong against stomach sickness,' she
said.
'But it is the spell that you write that gives it the power.'
'It's
a
prayer,' Alys said contemptuously. 'I don't make spells and I would not
sell
burned fennel and a line of prayer for a penny a twist.'
'It
makes people well,' Morach said. 'They take it and they say the spell
when the
vomiting hits them. Then the attack passes off.'
'How
can it?' Alys asked impatiently. 'Why should a torn piece of prayer
cure them?'
Morach
laughed. 'Listen to the running nun!' she exclaimed to the fire.
'Listen to the
girl who worked in the herb garden and the still-room and the nuns'
infirmary
and yet denies the power of plants! Denies the power of prayer! It
cures them,
my wench, because there is potency in it. And in order to say the
prayer they
have to draw breath. It steadies them. I order that the prayer has to
be said
to the sky so they have to open a window and breathe clean air. All of
those
that have died from the vomiting are those that were weak and sickly
and in a
panic of fear in dirty rooms. The spell works because it's powerful.
And it
helps if they believe it.'
Alys
crossed herself in a small gesture between her breasts. Morach would
have
mocked if she had seen.
'And
if
they can pay for a spell then they can pay for good food and clean
water,'
Morach said fairly. 'The chances are that they are stronger before the
sickness
takes them. The rich are always blessed.' 'What if it fails?' Alys
asked.
Morach's
face hardened. 'You had better pray to your Lady that it never fails,'
she
said. 'If it fails then I can say that they have been bewitched by
another
power, or the spell has failed them because they did not do it right.
If it
fails I go at once to the heirs and try to buy their friendship. But if
they
are vengeful and if their cattle die too, then you and I stay away from
Bowes,
keep our heads down, and keep out of sight until the body is buried and
people
have forgot.'
'It's
wrong,' Alys said positively. 'At the abbey we followed old books, we
knew the
herbs we grew, we made them into tinctures and we drank them from
measured
glasses. This is not herbalism but nonsense. Lies dressed up in dog
Latin to
frighten children!'
'Nonsense
is it?' Morach demanded, her quick anger aroused. 'There are people in
this
village who will swear I can make a woman miscarry by winking at her!
There are
people in this village who think I can kill a healthy beast by snapping
my
fingers over its water pail. There are people in this village who think
the
devil speaks to me in my dreams and I have all his powers at my
command!'
'Aren't
you afraid?' Alys asked.
Morach
laughed, her voice harsh and wild. 'Afraid?' she said. 'Who is not
afraid? But
I am more afraid of starving this winter, or dying of cold because we
have no
firewood. Ever since my land was stolen from me I have had no choice.
Ever
since my land was taken from me I have been afraid. I am a wise woman -
of
course I am afraid!'
She
put
the pestle and mortar to one side and then spooned the dust into one
scrap of
paper and then another, her hands steady.
'Besides,'
she said slyly, 'I am less afraid than I was. Much much less afraid
than I
was.'
'Are
you?' Alys asked, recognizing the note of torment in Morach's voice.
'Oh,
yes,' Morach said gleefully. 'If they seek for a witch in Bowes now,
who do you
think they will take first? A little old woman with a few herbs in her
purse
who has been there for years and never done great harm - or a girl as
lovely as
sin who will speak with no one, nor court with any man. A girl who is
neither
maid nor woman, saint nor sinner. A girl who is seen in Bowes very
seldom, but
always with her cloak around her shoulders and a shawl over her head. A
girl
who talks to no one, and has no young women friends. A girl who avoids
men, who
keeps her eyes down when one crosses her path. It is you who should be
afraid,
Alys. It is you who they see as a strange woman, as someone out of the
ordinary. So it is you that they think has the skill to cure the
vomiting. It
will be you they praise or blame. It should be you who is afraid!'
'They
cannot think these are spells!' Alys exclaimed. 'I told you from the
start they
were prayers! You asked me to write a prayer and I did! They cannot
think that
I do magic!'
'Go
on!' Morach gestured to her impatiently. 'Write some more! Write some
more! I
need it to wrap these doses. It is your writing, Alys, that makes the
powder
work. Ever since you came back, the fennel has cured the vomiting. They
say you
are the cunning woman and I am your servant. They say you have come
from the
devil. They say that the singed corner of your robe was from the fires
of hell
- and that you are the bride of the devil.'
'Who
says?' Alys demanded stoutly though her voice shook a little. 'I don't
believe
anyone says anything.'
'Liza
-
Tom's wife,' Morach said triumphantly. 'She says you've tampered with
Tom's
sleep. He names you in his sleep - a sure sign of hexing.'
Alys
laughed bitterly. 'Oh aye,' she said tartly. 'He is calling me to
rescue him
from her sharp tongue.'
'Curse
her then?' Morach's face was bright in the shadowy cottage. 'Try it!
Curse her
to death and make Tom a widower, rich with her dowry, so that he can
return to
you and you can use your roughened hands on his land where you will see
the
benefit. She's a useless, spiteful woman, no one's friend. No one would
miss
her.'
'Don't,'
Alys said quickly. 'Don't speak of such things. You know I would not do
it and
I don't have the power.'
'You
do
have the power,' Morach insisted. 'You know it and I know it! You ran
from your
power and you hoped your God would keep you safe if you forgot your
skills. But
here you are, back with me, and it is as if you were never away. There
are no
safe nunneries left, Alys! There is nowhere for you to go! You will
stay with me
forever unless you go to a man. Why not Tom? You liked him well enough
when you
were young and he has never loved another woman. You could kill Liza.
You
should kill Liza. I can tell you the ways to do it. Hundreds of ways.
And then
you can live soft in Tom's farmhouse, and wash every day as you long to
do, and
even say your prayers, and think of how we would eat! A little spell
and a
great difference. Do it, Alys!'
'I
cannot!' Alys said desperately. 'I cannot. And even if I could, I would
not do
it. I have no power but my learning from the abbey. I will not dabble
in your
spells. They mean nothing, you know nothing. I shall never use your
skills.'
Morach
shrugged her shoulders and tied the twists of powder with a thread. 'I
think
you will,' she said in an undertone. 'And I think you feel your power
in your
fingertips, and taste it on your tongue. Don't you, my Alys? When you
are alone
on the moor and the wind is blowing softly, don't you know you can call
it? Bid
it go where you will? Blow health or sickness? Wealth or poverty? When
you were
on your knees in the abbey, couldn't you feel the power around you and
in you?
I can feel the power in me - aye, and I can feel it in you too. The old
abbess
saw it clearly enough. She wanted it for her God! Well, now your power
is freed
again and you can use it where you will.'
Alys
shook her head. 'No,' she said determinedly. 'I feel nothing. I know
nothing. I
have no power.'
'Look
at the fire,' Morach said instantly. 'Look at the fire.'
Alys
looked towards it, the banks of badly cut peat glowing orange, and the
burning
log lying on the embers.
'Turn
it blue,' Morach whispered. Alys felt the thought of blue flames in her
mind,
paused for a moment with the picture of blue flames before her inner
eye. The
flames bobbed, flickered, and then they burned a steady bright
periwinkle blue.
The embers glowed like a summer sky, the ashes were a deep dark violet.
Morach
laughed delightedly, Alys snapped her gaze away from the fire and the
flame
spurted and flared orange again.
Alys
crossed herself hastily. 'Stop it, Morach,' she said irritably. 'Stupid
tricks
for frightening children. As if I would be fooled by them after a
childhood
with you and your cheating arts.'
Morach
shook her head. 'I touched nothing,' she said easily. 'It was your
gaze, and
your mind, and your power. And you can run and run from it as fast as
you ran
from your holy life. But the two of them will keep pace with you
forever, Alys.
In the end you will have to choose.'
'I am
a
nun,' Alys said through her teeth. 'There will be no magic and dark
skills for
me. I do not want them. I do not want you. And I do not want Tom. Hear
me now,
Morach, as soon as I can leave here, I will go. I swear to you that if
I could
leave this very night, I would be gone. I want none of it. None of it.
If I
could, I swear that I would ride away from this place now and never
come back.'
'Hush!'
Morach said suddenly. Alys froze into silence and the two women
strained their
ears to listen.
'Someone
outside the door,' Morach hissed. 'What can you hear?'
'A
horse,' Alys whispered. 'No, two horses.' In a quick gesture Morach
tipped the
pot of water on to the embers of the turf fire. The glow died at once,
the room
filled with thick smoke. Alys clapped her hand over her mouth so as not
to
choke.
The
banging on the little wooden door was like thunder. The two women
shrank
together, their eyes fixed on the entrance as if the door would
splinter and
fall apart. Someone was hammering on it with a sword hilt.
'I'll
open it,' Morach said. In the darkness her face was as white as a
drowned
woman's. 'You get yourself upstairs and hide under my pallet. If it's
the
witch-taker it'll likely be for me, you might escape. No one will
listen to
Tom's wife without others to speak against you; and no one has died
this week.
Go on, wench, it's the only chance I can give you.'
Alys
did not hesitate, she fled towards the ladder and upwards like a shadow.
'I'm
coming,' Morach said in a harsh grumbling voice. 'Leave an old woman's
door on
the hinge, can't you?'
She
checked that Alys was hidden above, and then swung the wooden latch to
open the
door.
The
two
tall men on horseback filled the skyline like giants. Around their
shoulders
the stars shone and the dark streams of cloud raced past their looming
heads.
'We
want the young wise woman,' the man said. His face was muffled against
the
cold, he was armed only with a cudgel and a short stabbing dagger. 'The
new
young wise woman. Get her.'
'I'm
not rightly sure ...' Morach started, her voice a plaintive whine. 'She
is
not...'
The
man
reached down and grabbed the shawl at Morach's throat and lifted her up
till
her face was near his. The horse shifted uneasily and Morach gurgled
and
choked, her feet kicking.
'Lord
Hugh at the castle orders it,' he said. 'He is ill. He wants the young
wise
woman and the spell against the vomiting. Get her, and no harm will
come of it.
He will pay you. If you hide her I shall burn this stinking shack
around your
ears with the door nailed up, and you inside.'
He
dropped Morach back on her feet, she stumbled back against the door
frame, and
turned back towards the cottage, half closing the door.
Alys
was looking down from the sleeping platform, her eyes huge in her white
face.
'I cannot. ..' she said.
Morach
snatched the shawl from her own shoulders, spread it on the hearth and
heaped
into it handfuls of herbs, a black-backed prayer-book, four of the
twists of
powder, a shiny lump of quartz tied up with a long scrap of ribbon, and
the
pestle and mortar.
'You'll
have to try or they'll kill us both,' she said bleakly. 'It's a chance,
and a
good chance. Others have been cured of the sickness. You'll have to
take the
gamble.'
'I
could run,' Alys said. 'I could hide on the moor for the night.'
'And
leave me? I'd be dead by dawn,' Morach said. 'You heard him. He'll burn
me
alive.'
'They
don't want you,' Alys said urgently. 'They would not do that. You could
tell
them I'm spending the night in Bowes. I could hide by the river, in one
of the
caves, while they're gone to look for me.'
Morach
looked at her hard. 'You've a bitter taste,' she said scowling. 'For
all your
lovely face you've a bitter taste, Alys. You'd run, wouldn't you? And
leave me
to face them. You'd rather I died than you took a chance.'
Alys
opened her mouth to deny it but Morach thrust the shawl into her hands
before
she could speak.
'You
would gamble with my death, but I will not,' Morach said harshly,
pushing her
towards the door. 'Out you go, my girl, I'll come to the castle when I
can, to
get news of you. See what you can do. They grow herbs there, and
flowers. You
may be able to use your nun's arts as well as mine.'
Alys
hefted the bundle. Her whole face was trembling. 'I cannot!' she said.
'I have
no skills, I know nothing! I grew a few herbs, I did as I was ordered
at the
abbey. And your arts are lies and nonsense.'
Morach
laughed bitterly. The man outside hammered on the door again. 'Come,
wench!' he
said. 'Or I will smoke you out!'
'Take
my lies and nonsense, and your own ignorance, and use it to save your
skin,'
Morach said. She had to push Alys towards the door. 'Hex him!' she
hissed, as
she got the girl over the threshold. 'You have the power, I can feel it
in you.
You turned the flame blue with your thought. Take your powers and use
them now,
for your own sake! Hex the old lord into health, Alys, or you and I are
dead
women.'
Alys
gave a little moan of terror and then the man on the horse leaned down
and
gripped her under both arms and hauled her up before him.
'Come!'
he said to his companion and they wheeled their horses around, the
hooves
tearing up the vegetable patch. Then they were gone into the darkness,
and the
wind whipped away the noise of the gallop.
Morach
waited a while at the cottage doorway, ignoring the cold and the smoke
from the
doused fire swirling thickly behind her, listening to the silence now
that Alys
had gone.
'She
has power,' she said to the night sky, watching the clouds unravelling
past the
half-moon. 'She swore that she would go, and in that moment the horses
came for
her and she was gone. What will she wish for next? What will she wish
for
next?'
Alys
had never been on a galloping horse and she clung to the pommel of the
saddle
before her, thrown and jolted by the horse's great rolling strides. The
wind
rushed into her face and the hard grip of the man behind her was that
of a
jailer. When she looked down she could see the heaving shoulders of the
great
horse, when she looked forward she saw its tossing mane. They went over
the
little stone bridge from the moorland road to Castleton with sparks
flying
upwards from the horses' hooves, and clattered up the cobbled street
between
the dozen stone-built houses at the same breakneck speed. Not a light
showed at
any of the shuttered windows, even the smaller houses, set back from
the main
street on earth roads, and the little shanties behind them on waste
ground were
dark and silent.
Alys
was so shaken that she had no breath to cry out, even when the horse
wheeled
around to the left and thundered up the drawbridge into the great black
maw of
the castle gateway. There was a brief challenge from two soldiers,
invisible in
the darkness of the doorway, and a gruff response from the rider and
then they
were out into the moonlit castle grounds. Alys had a confused
impression of a
jumble of stables and farm buildings on her right, the round tower of
the
guardroom on her left, the smell of pigs, and then they crossed a
second
drawbridge over a deep stagnant moat, with the noise of the hooves
rumbling
like thunder on the wooden bridge, and plunged into the darkness of
another
gateway. The horses halted as two more
soldiers stepped forward with a quick word of challenge
and stared at the
riders and Alys, before waving them through into a garden. Alys could
see
vegetable-beds and herb-beds and the bare-branched outline of apple
trees; but
before them, squat and powerful against the night sky, was a long
two-storey
building with a pair of great double doors set plumb in the centre.
Alys could
hear the noise of many people shouting and laughing inside. The door
opened and
a man stepped out to urinate carelessly against the wall; bright
torchlight
spilled out into the yard and she could smell hot roasted meats. They
rode the
length of the building, Alys saw the glow of a bakehouse fire in a
little round
hive of a building set apart from the rest on their right, and then
before them
were two brooding towers, built with grey stones as thick as boulders,
showing
no lights.
'Where
are we?' Alys gasped, clinging to the man's hands as he thrust her down
from
the saddle.
He
nodded to the tower which adjoined the long building. 'Lord Hugh's
tower,' he
said briefly. He looked over her head and shouted. An answering cry
came from
inside the tower and Alys heard a bolt sliding easily back.
'And
what's that tower?' she asked urgently. She pointed behind them to the
opposing
tower, smaller and more squat, set into the high exterior castle wall,
with no
windows at all at the base and a flight of stone steps running up the
outside
to the first storey.
'Pray
you never know!' the man said grimly. 'That's the prison tower. The
first floor
is the guardroom, and down below are the cells. They have the rack
there, and
thumbscrews, a press and bridle. Pray you never see them, wench! You
come out
more talkative - but taller! Much taller! Thinner! And sometimes
toothless!
Cheaper
than the toothdrawer at any price!' He laughed harshly. 'Here!' He
called a soldier
who stepped out of the shadows. 'Here is the wise woman from Bowes.
Take her
and her bundle to Lord Hugh at once. Let no one tamper with her. My
lord's
orders!'
He
thrust Alys towards the soldier and he grabbed her and marched her up
the
flight of stone steps to the arched doorway. The door, as thick as a
tree
trunk, stood open. Inside, a torch flickered, staining the wall behind
it with
a stripe of black soot. The castle breathed coldness, sweated damp.
Alys drew
her shawl over her rough cropped head with a shudder. It was colder
even than
Morach's draughty cottage. Here the castle walls held the wind out, but
no sun
ever shone. Alys crossed herself beneath her shawl. She had a
premonition that
she was walking towards mortal danger. The dark corridor before her -
lit at
the corners with smoking torches - was like her worst nightmares of the
nunnery: a smell of smoke, a crackle of flames, and a long, long
corridor with
no way out.
'Come,'
the man said grimly and took Alys' arm in a hard grip. She trailed
behind him,
up a staircase which circled round and around inside the body of the
tower,
until he said, 'Here now,' and knocked, three short knocks and two
long, on a
massive wooden door. It swung open. Alys blinked. It was bright inside,
half a
dozen men were lounging on benches at a long table, the remains of
their supper
spread before them, two big hunting dogs growling over bones in the
corner. The
air was hot with rancid smoke and the smell of sweat. 'A wench!' said
one.
'That's kindly of you!' Alys shrank back behind the soldier who still
held her.
He shook his head. 'Nay,' he said. 'It's the wise woman from Bowes,
come to see
my lord. Is he well?'
A
young
man at the far end of the room beckoned them through. 'No better,' he
said in
an undertone. 'He wants to see her at once.'
He
pulled back a tapestry on the wall behind him and swung open a narrow
arched
door. The soldier released Alys and thrust her bundle into her hands.
She
hesitated.
'Go
on,' the young man said.
She
paused again. The soldier behind her put his hand in the small of her
back and
pushed her forward. Alys, caught off balance, stumbled into the room
and past
the watching men. Before her, through the door, was a flight of shallow
stone
steps lit by a single guttering torch. There was a small wooden door at
the
head of the flight of stairs. As she climbed up, it slowly opened.
The
room was dark, lit only by firelight and one pale wax candle standing
on a
chest by a small high bed. At the head of the bed stood a tiny man, no
taller
than a child. His dark eyes were on Alys, and his hand smoothed the
pillow.
On the
pillow was a lean face engraved by sickness and suffering, the skin as
yellow
as birch leaves in autumn. But the eyes, when the heavy lids flew open
and stared
at Alys, were as bright and black as an old peregrine falcon.
'You
the wise woman?' he asked. 'I have a very little skill,' Alys said.
'And very
little learning. You should send for someone learned, an apothecary or
even a
barber. You should have a physician.'
'They
would cup me till I died,' the sick man said slowly. 'They have cupped
me till
I am near dead already. Before I threw them out they said they could do
no
more. They left me for dead, girl! But I won't die. I can't die yet. My
plans
are not yet done. You can save me, can't you?'
'I'll
try,' Alys said, pressing her lips on a denial. She turned to the
fireplace and
laid down Morach's shawl. By the light of the fire she untied the knot
and
spread out the cloth and arranged the things. The little man came over
and
squatted down beside her. His head came no higher than her shoulder.
'Do
you
use the black arts, mistress?' he asked in a soft undertone.
'No!'
Alys
said instantly, 'I have a very little skill with herbs - just what my
mistress
has taught me. You should have sent for her.'
The
dwarf shook his head. 'In all Bowes they speak of the new young wise
woman who
came from nowhere and lives with the old widow Morach by the river.
He'll have
no truck with the black arts,' he said, nodding to the still figure in
the bed.
Alys
nodded. She straightened the black-bound prayer-book, put the herbs and
the
pestle and mortar to her right. 'What's that?' the dwarf said, pointing
to the
stone and ribbon.
'It's
a
crystal,' Alys said.
At
once
the little man crossed himself and bit the tip of his thumb. 'To see
into the
future?' he demanded. 'That's black arts!'
'No,'
Alys said. 'To find the source of the illness. Like dowsing for water.
Divining
for water is not black arts, any child can do it.'
'Aye.'
The man nodded, conceding the point. 'Aye, that's true.'
'Have
done chattering!' came the sudden command from the bed. 'Come and cure
me, wise
woman.'
Alys
got to her feet, holding the frayed ribbon of the crystal between her
finger
and thumb so that it hung down like a pendulum. As she moved, the shawl
covering her head slid back. The dwarf exclaimed at the stubble of her
regrowing hair.
'What
have you done to your head?' he demanded. Then his face grew suddenly
sly. 'Was
it shaved, my pretty wench? Are you a runaway nun, fled from a fat
abbey where
the old women grow rich and talk treason?'
'No,'
Alys said quickly. From the courtyard below the window a cock crowed
briefly
into the darkness and then settled to sleep again. 'I was sick with a
fever in
Penrith and they shaved my head,' she said. 'I am not a nun, I don't
know what
you mean about treason. I am just a simple girl.'
The
dwarf nodded with a disbelieving smile, then he skipped to his place at
the
head of the bed and stroked the pillow again.
Alys
drew closer. 'In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti,' she
muttered
under her breath. The stone on the ribbon swung of its own accord in a
lazy
clockwise arc. 'This is God's work,' Alys said. The stone swung a
little wider,
a little faster. Alys breathed a little easier. She had never used a
pendulum
at the abbey, the nuns frowned on it as a supernatural force. The stone
was
Morach's. By blessing it Alys hoped to stay inside the misty border
which
separated God's work from that of the devil. But with the old lord
glaring at
her, and the dwarf's slight malicious smile, she felt in equal danger
of
burning for heresy as being taken as a witch and strangled.
She
put
her hand, which shook only slightly, on the old lord's forehead.
'His
sickness is here,' she said, as she had seen Morach do.
The
dwarf hissed as the crystal broke its pattern of circular swing and
moved
instead back and forth. 'What does it mean?' he asked. 'The sickness is
not in
his head,' she replied softly. 'I didn't see your fingers move the
crystal?'
'Have done with your chatter,' the old lord flared at the dwarf. 'Let
the wench
do her work.'
Alys
drew back the rich rugs covering the old man. She saw at once how his
skin
shivered at the touch of the air, yet the room was warm. Tentatively
she put
the back of her hand against his withered cheek. He was burning up.
She
moved her hand cautiously to rest on his flat belly. She whispered:
'His
sickness is here?' and at once she felt a change in the movement of the
stone.
It circled strongly, round and round, and Alys nodded at the lord with
renewed
confidence.
'You
have taken a fever in your belly,' she said. 'Have you eaten or fasted?'
'Eaten,'
the old man said. 'They force food on me and then they cup me of the
goodness.'
Alys
nodded. 'You are to eat what you please,' she said. 'Little things that
tempt
you. But you must drink spring water. As much as you can bear. Half a
pint
every half hour today and tomorrow. And it must be spring water, not
from the
well in the courtyard. And not from the well in town. Send someone to
fetch you
spring water from the moor.'
The
old
man nodded. 'When you are cold, cover yourself up and order more rugs,'
Alys
said. 'And when you are hot have them taken off you. You need to be as
you
please, and then your fever will break.'
She
turned away from the bedside to her shawl spread before the fire. She
hesitated
a moment at the twists of burned fennel and then she shrugged. She did
not
think they would do any good, but equally they did no harm.
'Take
one of these, before you sleep every night,' she said. 'Have you
vomited much?'
He nodded.
'When
you feel about to vomit then you must order your window opened.' There
was a
muted gasp of horror from the little man at the head of the bed. 'And
read the
writing aloud.'
'The
night air is dangerous,' the dwarf said firmly. 'And what is the
writing? Is it
a spell?'
'The
air will stop him being sick,' Alys said calmly, as if she were certain
of what
she was doing. 'And it is not a spell, it is a prayer.'
The
man
in the bed chuckled weakly. 'You are a philosopher, wench!' he said.
'Not a
spell but a prayer! You can be hanged for one thing as well as the
other in
these days.'
'It's
the Lord's Prayer,' Alys said quickly, the joke was too dangerous in
this dark
room where they watched for witchcraft and yet wanted a miracle to cure
an old
man.
'And
for your fever I shall grind you some powder to take in your drink,'
she said.
She reached for the little dried berries of deadly nightshade that
Morach had
put in the bundle. She took just one and ground it in the mortar.
'Here,'
she said, taking a pinch of the powder. 'Take this now. And you will
need more
later. I will leave some for you this night, and I will come again in
the
morning.'
'You
stay,' the old man said softly.
Alys
hesitated.
'You
stay. David, get a pallet for her. She's to sleep here, eat here. She's
to see
no one. I won't have gossip.'
The
dwarf nodded and slid from the room; the curtain over the door barely
swayed at
his passing.
'I
have
to go home, my lord,' Alys said breathlessly. 'My kinswoman will be
looking for
me. I could come back again, as early as you like, tomorrow.'
'You
stay,' he said again. His black eyes scanned her from head to foot.
'I'll tell
you, lass, there are those who would buy you to poison me within these
walls
this night. There are those who would take you up for a cheat if you
fail to
cure me. There are men out there who would use you and fling you in the
moat
when they had their fill of you for the sake of your young body. You
are
safest, if I live, with me. You stay.'
Alys
bowed her head and retied Morach's shawl around the goods.
For
the
next five days Alys lived in a little chamber off the old lord's room.
She saw
no one but Lord Hugh and the dwarf. Her food was brought to her by the
dwarf;
one day she caught him tasting it, and then he tasted the food for Lord
Hugh.
She looked at him with a question in her face and he sneered and said:
'Do you
think you are the only herbalist in the country, wench? There are many
poisons
to be had. And there are many who would profit from my lord's death.'
'He
won't die this time,' Alys said. She spoke with real confidence. 'He's
on the
mend.'
Every
day he was eating more, he was sitting up in bed, he was speaking to
the dwarf
and to Alys in a voice loud and clear like a tolling bell. On the sixth
day he
said he would take his midday dinner in the hall with his people.
'Then
I
shall take my leave of you,' Alys said when he was dressed with a black
hat on
his long white hair, a fur-lined robe over his thick padded doublet,
and with
embroidered slippers on his feet. 'Farewell, my lord, I am glad to have
been of
service to you.'
He
gleamed at her. 'You have not finished your service,' he said. 'I have
not done
with you yet, wench. You will go back to your home when I say, and not
before.'
Alys
bowed her head and said nothing. When she looked up her eyes were wet.
'What
is it?' he demanded. 'What's the matter with you?'
'It's
my kinswoman,' Alys said softly. 'Morach of Bowes Moor. I had a message
that
she is ill with a fever in the belly. She is all the family I have in
the world
.. .' She snatched a glance at him and saw he was nodding
sympathetically. 'If
I could go home ...' she half whispered. Lord Hugh snapped his thin
white
fingers. The dwarf came to his side and bent low. There was a low rapid
exchange in a language Alys did not know. Then Lord Hugh looked at her
with a
wide grin. 'When did your kinswoman fall ill?' he asked. 'Yesterday
...' Alys
said.
'You
lie,' Lord Hugh said benignly. 'She came here this
morning and asked for you at the gatehouse and left a
message with David, that she was well, and that she
would come next week with more herbs for you.'
Alys
flushed scarlet and said nothing.
'Come
on,' Lord Hugh said. 'We are going to dinner.'
Halfway
to the door he paused again. 'She looks a drab!'
he exclaimed to David. Alys' old habit, singed by the
fire and trailed in the mud, was tied around her waist with a shawl.
She had
another grey shawl over her head tied under her chin.
'Get
her a gown, one of Meg's old gowns,' Lord Hugh tossed over his
shoulder. 'She
can have it as a gift. And take that damned shawl off her head!'
The
dwarf waved Alys to wait and flung open a chest in the corner of the
room. 'Meg
was his last whore,' he said. 'She had a pretty gown of red. She died
of the
pox two years ago. We put her clothes in here.'
'I
can't wear her clothes!' Alys exclaimed in revulsion. 'I can't wear a
red
gown!'
The
dwarf pulled a cherry-red gown from the chest, found the shoulders and
shook it
out before Alys.
Alys
gazed at the colour as if she were drinking it in. 'Oh!' she said
longingly and
stepped forward. The cloth was woven of soft fine wool, warm and silky
to the
touch. It was trimmed at the neck, the puffed sleeves and the hem with
dark red
ribbon of silk. Meg had been a proud woman, ready to defy the laws
against
commoners wearing colour. There was even a silver cord to tie around
the waist.
'I've
never seen cloth so fine!' Alys said, awed. 'The colour of it! And the
feel of
it!'
'It
comes with an embroidered stomacher,' the dwarf said, tossing Alys the
gown and
turning back to the chest. 'And an overskirt to match.' He rummaged in
the
chest and dragged out the stomacher with long flowing sleeves and fine
silver
laces up the back, and a rich red skirt embroidered with silver.
'Get
it
on,' he said impatiently. 'We must be in the hall before my lord comes
in.'
Alys
checked her movement to take the stomacher and skirt from him. 'I
cannot wear a
whore's gown,' she said. 'Besides, I might take the pox.'
The
dwarf gasped and then choked with malicious laughter. 'Not such a wise
woman
after all!' he said, tears oozing from his eyes. 'Take the pox from a
gown!
That's the finest excuse I ever heard.' Abruptly he flung the stomacher
and
skirt at her and Alys caught them. 'Put it on,' he said, suddenly surly.
Alys
hesitated still. In her head she could hear a cry in a voice, her own
voice,
calling for Mother Hildebrande to come and take her away. To save her
from this
shame just as she had rescued Alys, all those years ago, from Morach.
She shook
her head. The loss of the abbey and the loss of her mother were like a
nightmare which cast its shadow over every moment of her day. A long
shadow of
loneliness and danger. There was no mother loving her and protecting
her, not
any more.
'I
cannot wear a whore's gown,' she said in a little whisper.
'Wear
it!' the dwarf growled. 'It's that or a shroud, Missy. I don't jest
with you.
The old lord has his way without question. I'll stab you as I stand
here and go
to dinner alone if you wish. It's your choice.'
Alys
untied her belt and slid her robe to the floor. The dwarf stared at her
as if
appraising a mare for breeding. His eyes slid over the swell of her
breasts
under her coarse woven shift, assessed her narrow waist and her smooth
young
muscled flanks. His lips formed into a soundless whistle.
'The
old lord always had an eye for a wench,' he said softly to himself.
'Looks like
he saved the pick of the crop for his deathbed!'
Alys
flung the gown over her head and pulled it down, thrust her arms
through the
soft woven sleeves. They were padded on the inside with white silk and
slashed
so the fine white fabric showed through, caught at each wrist with a
little
cuff and button made of horn.
She
turned her back to David and he laced the scarlet laces at the back of
the gown
and tied them in silence. She turned back and eyed the stomacher and
overskirt.
'I
don't know how this goes,' she confessed.
David
looked at her curiously. 'I
thought
maids dreamed of nothing else,' he said. 'The overskirt goes on next
and ties
behind.'
He
held
it out for her and Alys stepped into it, turned under his hands and let
him tie
the skirt at her waist. It swept from her waist to the floor with a
rustle,
leaving an open slit at the front for the
plain red to show. Alys smoothed her hands down the skirt; the silver
embroidery was cold and scratchy under her palms. The skirt was too
long - Meg,
the old lord's whore, had been a tall woman.
'Now
this,' David said. 'Make haste, girl!' He held out the stomacher and
sleeves
towards her and Alys thrust her arms through the wide-cut hanging
sleeves and
turned her back again for David to lace her from behind.
'Damned
lady's-maiding,' he grumbled, as he pulled the silver laces tight and
threaded
them through the holes. He tied a firm bow at the base of the stomacher
and
stuffed the bow out of sight under the boned waist. Alys turned to face
him.
'Pull
it down at the front,' he ordered. 'And pull the sleeves down.'
Alys
pulled the stomacher down at her waist. It was too long for her as
well,
stopping at the swell of her hips and with the sharply pointed V at the
front
extending too low. It held her stiffly so that her breasts were
flattened into
one smooth line from the rich swirl of the skirt to the square neck of
the gown
which showed at the top of the stomacher. She tugged the oversleeves on
both
sides. They were long and sweeping, folded back to show the
undersleeves like
rich slashed pouches beneath them. David nodded.
'And
the girdle goes loosely over the top,' he said. Alys fastened the
silver girdle
and straightened it so the long end fell down in front, enhancing the
narrowness of her waist and the pointed line of the bodice, subtly
suggesting
the desirable triangle at the top of her thighs. She ran her hand over
her
cropped head where her growing hair was golden and stubbly.
David
nodded. 'A sweeter honey even than Meg,' he said to himself. 'Who will
stick
his tongue in this pot?' Alys ignored him. 'Is there nothing to hide my
head?'
The dwarf rummaged in the chest for a few moments. 'Nothing you could
wear
without hair to pin it on,' he said. 'You'd best go bareheaded.'
Alys
grimaced. 'I suppose no one will look at me,' she said.
'They'll
look at nothing else!' he said with malicious satisfaction. 'Half of
them think
you're a holy healer, and the other half think you're his whore. And
the young
lord ...' his voice trailed off. 'What?' asked Alys. 'What of the young
lord?'
'He's got a keen eye for a pretty wench,' the dwarf said simply. 'And
besides,
he's got a score to settle with you. If the old lord had died he could
have
taken himself to the King's court, put aside that shrew he wed, and
made his
way in the great world. He'll not thank you for that.'
'The
shrew? His wife?' Alys asked.
The
dwarf motioned her to follow him through the door and then led her down
the
twisting stone staircase. As she passed an arrow-slit window Alys
breathed in
the cold wind which blew from the wintry moorland to the west of them,
over the
River Tees. It smelled of her home, of her childhood. For a moment she
even
longed for the little hovel by the river with the moor quiet all around
it.
The
dwarf grinned. 'She complains of him to the old lord,' he said. 'I've
been
there, I've heard her. Lord Hugo won't come to her bed, or he won't use
her
kindly. One time she angered him so that he beat her favourite
waiting-woman
before her. Too proud to touch his lady, but a temper on him that would
scare
the devil! The old lord used to keep Hugo on a short leash but they're
both
weary of the shrew. He used to watch that the young lord didn't abuse
her
over-much, and kept her supplied with trinkets and perfumes, little
sweeteners
for her vinegar. But she has called down a storm on them both too
often, they
both long to be rid of her.'
'They
can't do that, can they?' Alys asked, frowning. David shrugged. 'Who
knows what
can be done now?' he asked. 'The Church is ruled by the King now, not
the vicar
of Rome. The King does as he pleases with his women. Why not the young
lord?
The rightful wife stays barren, but if they dismiss her they lose her
entailed
lands and her dowry. And in all of Hugo's roistering he's never got a
wench
with child. So the shrew stays here until they can think of a way to be
rid of
her and yet keep her wealth.' 'How?' Alys asked.
'If
she
were taken in adultery,' David said in a whisper. 'Or died.'
There
was a cold silence around them as they went through the empty
guardroom, and
down the flight of steps to the entrance of the great hall. 'And she?'
Alys
asked David hawked and spat disdainfully. 'She'd do anything to take
the young
lord's fancy,' he said. 'She'd do anything to creep into his bed. She's
a
passionate woman gone sour, a lustful woman on short commons. There's
nothing
she would not do for the young lord. I've heard her women talk.
'She's
praying every day for an heir to make her place secure. She prays every
day for
the young lord to turn to her and give her a son. She prays every day
for the
old lord to cleave to her cause, not to take up the new ways of setting
aside
wives as lightly as changing hunters. And she's hot for Hugo.' He
paused. 'All
the women are,' he said.
'And
he,' Alys began. 'Does he ...'
'Sshh,'
the dwarf said abruptly. He glanced over his shoulder to see that Alys
was
ready and at her nod he pushed open one of the thick wooden doors at
the side
of the great hall.
The
great hall was a high arched chamber, dark with only arrow-slit windows
high up
in the thick stone walls. A massive fire was burning against the east
wall, great
trunks of trees flung pell-mell and blazing, the smoke filling the
room, smuts
and light white ash dancing in the air. Beside Alys, to her left on a
raised
dais, was a long table with three empty high-backed carved chairs
behind it,
facing the room. Down the length of the room ran four long tables and
benches,
soldiers and guards seated in the best places at the dais end of the
hall; the
servants, scullions and women struggled for places nearest the south
door.
The
place was in uproar: three or four dogs were fighting by the east wall,
the
soldiers were hammering on the table and yelling for bread and ale, the
servants were shouting to be heard above the noise. In the brackets on
the
walls there were burning torches, and as Alys watched a well-dressed
young man
stepped up to the lord's table and lowered a fine candelabra from a
candlebeam
and lit sconces of pale golden wax candles.
David
the dwarf nudged Alys in the ribs. 'You will sit in the body of the
hall,' he
said. 'Come on, I'll find you a place.' He led the way, with his
rolling,
half-lame stride, between the tables. But before he could seat Alys at
an empty
place there was a ripple of excitement in the hall. David turned around
and
tapped Alys' arm, directing her attention to the high table. 'Now you
watch!'
he said triumphantly. 'You see the welcome he gets, my Lord Hugh! You
see!'
The
tapestry behind the table on the dais was drawn back, the little arched
door
opened, and Lord Hugh stepped through and took his place in the great
carved chair
at the plumb centre of the table. There was a moment's surprised
silence and
then suddenly there was a great roar of delight as the soldiers and
servants
cheered and hammered the table with their knives and drummed their
boots
against the benches.
Alys
smiled at the welcome, and saw how the old lord nodded his bony head in
one
direction and then in another. 'He looks well!' she thought. After
nearly a
week of seeing him as an invalid, in the cramped room of the tower, she
was
surprised to see him now as the lord at his own table. He had flushed a
little,
with the heat and with pleasure at his howling , yelling welcome. I
cured him!
Alys thought, with sudden, surprised pleasure. I cured him! They left
him for
dead but I cured him. Hidden by her drooping sleeves she stretched out
her
hands, feeling her power flow through her, down to her fingertips.
Alys
had cured people before, vagrants and sick paupers in the infirmary,
farmers in
their heavy beds, peasants on pallets. But the old lord was the first
man she
had made well and seen rise up and take his power, great power. And I
did that!
Alys said to herself. I had the skill to cure him. I made him well.
She
looked at him, smiling at the thought, and then the curtain behind him
moved
again and the young Lord Hugo came into the hall.
He was
as tall as his father, with his father's sharp bony face. He had his
father's
black piercing eyes too, and his beaky nose. There were deep lines
either side
of his mouth, and two lines at the roots of his eyebrows like a
permanent
scowl. But then
someone shouted,
'Holloa! Hugo!' from the benches and his face suddenly lit up as if
someone had
put a brand to a haystack, in the merriest, most joyful smile. Alys
said,
'Mother of God!'
'What
is it?' David said, shooting a look at her. 'Have you the Sight? Have
you seen
something?'
'No,'
Alys said, in an instant denial. 'I see nothing. I see nothing. I just
saw ...'
she broke off. 'I just saw him smile,' she said helplessly. She tried
to look
towards David but she could not take her eyes from the young lord. He
stood,
his hand resting casually on the back of his chair, his face turned
towards his
father. A jewel on his long fingers winked in the torchlight, an
emerald, as
green as his bulky doublet, and his velvet cap sat askew on his black
curly
hair.
'There's
the shrew,' David said. 'Coming to sit on my lord's left.'
Alys
hardly heard him. She was still staring at the young lord. It was he
who had
been there at the burning of the abbey. It was he who had laughed as
the tiles
on the roof cracked like fireworks in the heat and the lead had poured
down
like a blazing waterfall. It was his fault that the abbey was burned,
that
Mother Hildebrande was dead, and Alys alone and vulnerable in the world
again.
He was a criminal, in the deepest and darkest of sin. He was an
arsonist - a
hateful crime. He was a murderer. Alys looked at his severe face and
knew she
should hate him as her enemy. But Hugo had charm as potent as any
magic. His
father said something which amused him and he flung back his head to
laugh and
Alys felt herself smiling too - as people will laugh with a child or
smile for
another's upsurging joy. Alys looked down the length of the hall at
Hugo and
knew that, unseen and unnoticed, her own face was alight with pleasure
at
seeing him.
'See
that woman's pride!' the dwarf said with disdain.
The
young lord's wife was tall and looked older than him. She carried her
power
around her like a cloak. Her face as she scanned the hall was
impassive, her
welcome to her father-in-law was coolly perfect. She hesitated for a
courteous
second before sitting so the lords were seated first. Then she looked
directly
down the hall and saw Alys.
'Bow,'
the dwarf said. 'Bow! Get your head down for God's sake! She's looking
at you.'
Alys
held the woman's cold grey stare. 'I will not,' she said.
Lady
Catherine turned to one of the women seated behind her and asked a
question.
The woman stared at Alys, and then beckoned a servant. Alys was aware
of the
chain of command, and of the lowliest servant coming towards her, but
she did
not take her eyes from Lady Catherine's face.
'Two
cats on a barn roof,' David said under his breath.
Alys
found her palms were tingling from her fingernails driven into them.
She was
holding her hands in tight fists, hidden by the sweep of the long
sleeves.
'Lady
Catherine says you're to go forward!' the servant said, skidding to a
halt
before her on the dirty rushes. 'Go up to the high table. She wants
you!'
Alys
glanced at David. 'Go your ways,' he said. 'I'm for my dinner. You go
for the
cat fight. Come straight to my lord's room after dinner. No dawdling.'
Alys
nodded, still not taking her eyes from Lady Catherine's square, sallow
face.
Then she walked slowly up the length of the hall.
One by
one the chattering men and women fell silent to watch her. A great
wolfhound
growled and then followed Alys up the centre of the hall, up the wide
nave
between the tables until she was standing with two hundred people
staring at
her back and Lady Catherine's cold eyes staring at her face.
'We
have to thank you for your skill,' Lady Catherine said. Her voice was
flat with
the ugly vowel sounds of the southerner. 'You seem to have restored my
lord to
perfect health.'
The
words were kind but the look that accompanied them was ice.
'I did
no more than my duty,' Alys said. She did not take her eyes from Lady
Catherine's face.
'You
could tempt me to fall sick tomorrow!' the young lord said easily with
a laugh.
The officers on the benches nearest the table laughed with him. Someone
whistled a long, low whistle. Alys looked only at him. His black eyes
were
hooded, lazy, his smile was as warm as if they shared a secret. It was
an
invitation to bed as clear as a mattins bell to church. Alys felt the
blood
rising to her face in a slow deep blush.
'Don't
wish it, my lord!' Lady Catherine said evenly. Then she turned again to
Alys.
'Where do you come from?' she asked sharply. 'Bowes Moor,' Alys replied.
Lady
Catherine frowned. 'Your speech is not from here,' she said
suspiciously.
Alys bit the inside of her lips. 'I lived for some years in Penrith,' she said. 'I have kin there. They speak softer and they taught me to read aloud.' 'You can read?' the old lord asked. Alys nodded.
'Yes, my lord,' she said.
'Can you write?' he asked, astonished. 'English and Latin?'
'Yes,
my lord,'
Alys
replied.
The
young lord slapped his father on the shoulder. 'There's your clerk for
you!' he
said. 'A wench for a clerk! You can count on her not to rise up in the
church
and leave you!'
There
was a laugh from the head of the long table nearest the dais and a man
in the
dark robe of a priest raised his hand to Hugo like a swordsman
acknowledging a
hit.
'Better
than none,' the old lord said. He nodded at Alys. 'You may not go home
yet,' he
said gruffly. 'I need some writing done. Get a seat for yourself.'
Alys
nodded and turned to a place at the back of the hall.
'No,'
the young lord said. He turned to his father. 'If she's to be your
clerk she'd
best sit up here,' he said. 'You permit, Catherine?'
Lady
Catherine opened her lips on a thin smile. 'Of course, my lord,' she
said
quietly. 'Whatever you wish.'
'She
can sit with your women,' the young lord said. 'Holloa! Margery, shift
up and
make a place for the young wise woman. She'll dine with you.'
Alys
kept her eyes down and went to the side of the dais and climbed the
three
shallow steps. There was a small table by the dais door where four
women were
sitting on stools. Alys drew up a fifth stool and sat with them. They
eyed each
other with mutual mistrust while the servers brought Alys a pewter
plate, a
knife and a thick pewter goblet stamped with the Castleton crest.
'Are
you old Morach's apprentice?' one of them said eventually. Alys
recognized a
woman who had been left a widow with a fine farm near Sleightholme, but
driven
out of the house by a powerful daughter-in-law.
'Yes,'
she said. 'I lived at Penrith, and then I came to work for Morach.'
The
woman stared at her. 'You're her foundling!' she said. 'The little
wench. You
were living with her when I left to come here.'
'Yes,
Mistress Allingham,' Alys said, her mind working rapidly. 'I did not
recognize
you at first. I left for Penrith just after your son was wed. Then I
came back
again.'
'I
heard you had gone to the abbey,' the woman said sharply.
There
was a muffled scream from one of the other women. 'Not a nun's
servant!' she
exclaimed. 'I won't sit at the table with a nun's servant! This is a
godly
household, my lord cannot wish us to sit with a heretic!' 'I only
stayed there
for three days, on my way to Penrith, waiting for the carter,' Alys
said
steadily, her fingers clasped lightly in the lap of the cherry-red
gown. 'I did
not live there.'
Mistress
Allingham nodded. 'It would have been bad for you if you had done,' she
observed. 'It was the young Lord Hugo himself who led the men to strip
the
abbey. They say he robbed the altar of popish treasures himself,
laughing at
the sacrilege. They were drunk - he and his friends - and he let his
men fire
the buildings. But they went too far, it was botched work, all the nuns
were
burned in their beds.'
Alys
felt her hands tremble and clasped them together in her lap. She could
still
smell woodsmoke. She could still hear that one brief cry. I wish I had
died
then, she said to herself. I wish I had died in the same fire as my
mother and
then I would never have had to sit here and hear of her death told as
tittle-tattle.
'I'll
warrant he did more than that!' one of the other women, the one named
Margery,
said in a low whisper. 'An abbey full of nuns! He would do more than
burn them
in their beds!'
Alys
stared at her in utter horror, but the women were watching Lady
Catherine's
straight back.
'Sssh,'
said one of them. 'She has ears like an owl, that one.'
'I
warrant he did, though,' Margery said. 'I can't imagine the young lord
hanging
back when there was lechery being done. He is as hot as a butcher's
dog, that
one.'
Another
woman giggled. 'He'd have had a round dozen out of their beds before
the fire
got them!' she exclaimed. 'He would have taught them what they had been
missing!'
'Ssshhh!'
said the woman more urgently, while the others collapsed into giggles.
Alys
kept her face turned away and fought the bile which rose unstoppably
into her
mouth.
'Hush,'
said Mistress Allingham in pretended concern. 'This must be distressing
for the
girl. You stayed with them for three days, and they were your friends,
were
they not?'
A cock
pecking under the tables in the hall squawked as a running servant
kicked it
aside. 'No,' Alys said, swallowing down vomit. 'Old Morach owed them
some
labour in their garden in exchange for the use of their herbs. I was
sent to
work off her debt. I stayed until the work was done and then I came
away. I did
not know any of them well. I lodged with their servants.'
In the
darkness of the hall she could suddenly see the abbess' face, its soft
wrinkled
skin and the gentle smile. For a moment she could almost feel the touch
of her
hand as she leaned on Alys' shoulder to walk around the garden. The
cool, dry
sweetness of the herb garden was very far away now. 'I never even saw
half of
them,' Alys said, proffering additional detail. 'They were in the
middle of
some fast or feast and I was kept in the gatehouse. It was a dull three
days, I
was glad when the carter came and gave me a lift to Penrith.'
A
serving-lad stepped up to the dais and presented a silver platter to
the old
lord, to the young lord, and only then to Lady Catherine. They took
slices of
dark meat.
'Venison,'
Mistress Allingham said with satisfaction. 'David orders a good table.'
'David?'
Alys asked involuntarily. 'Does David command the meals?'
'Oh,
yes,' Margery said. 'He's the old lord's seneschal - he commands all
that
happens inside the castle and manages the tenants, commands the
demesne,
watches over the manors, tells them what crops to grow and takes the
pick for
the castle. The young Lord Hugo partly serves as seneschal for outside,
he
rules the villages and sits injustice with his father.'
'I
thought David was a manservant,' Alys said. Mistress Allingham
tittered, and
Alys flushed. 'Best not let him hear you say that!' she said brightly.
'He's
the most important man in the castle after my lord and the young Lord
Hugo.'
'And
the most dangerous,' one of the women said low. 'As spiteful as a
little snake,
that David.'
They
had to wait a long time for their food. It was brought on thin pewter
platters,
only the two lords and Lady Catherine ate off silver. They ate the meat
with
their fingers and knives, and then a bowl of broth and bread with a
thick-handled spoon. The bread was a thick trencher of well-milled rye
flour.
At the top table they had a wheaten loaf, Alys could see its pale,
appetizing
colour. All the food was tepid, except for the broth which was cold.
Alys
set her spoon down.
'Not
to
your liking?' one of the other women asked. 'My name is Eliza Herring.
Is it
not to your liking?'
Alys
shook her head. 'It's cold,' she said. 'And too salty for my taste.'
'It's
made with salted meat,' Mistress Allingham said. 'And from the bottom
of the
barrel I'll be bound. But it's always cold. They have to carry it from
the
kitchen. I haven't had hot meat since I left my own home.'
'I
daresay you'd rather stay, cold meat and all,' Eliza Herring said
sharply.
'From what I hear, the new young wife your son married wouldn't have
fed you
venison, hot, cold or raw.'
Mistress
Allingham nodded. 'I wish the plague would take her!' she exclaimed,
then she
stopped and looked at Alys. 'Can you work on a woman you don't know?'
she
asked. 'Could you soften her heart towards me? Or even carry her off?
There's
much sickness about - no reason why she should not take an ague.'
Alys
shook her head. 'I am a herbalist, nothing more,' she said. 'I cannot
cast
spells and I would not do so if I could.' She paused to make sure that
all the
women were listening. 'I cannot make spells. All I have is a little
skill in
herbalism. It was these skills that cured my lord. I cannot and I would
not
make someone sick.'
'But
you could make someone fall in love?' asked the young woman called
Margery.
Unconsciously her eyes rested on the young Lord Hugo. 'You have love
potions
and herbs which stir desire, don't you?'
Alys
was suddenly weary. 'There are herbs to stir desire, but nothing can
change
what a man thinks. I could make a man hot enough to lie with a woman
-but I
couldn't make him like her after he had taken his pleasure.'
Eliza
Herring went off into hoots of laughter. 'You'd be no further on then,
Margery!' she said delightedly. 'For he has lain with you a score of
times and
despised you each time until he feels the itch again.'
'Hush,
hush!' said the fourth woman desperately. 'She'll hear! You know how
she
listens!'
A
servant came to each of them and poured them ale. Alys looked towards
the
lords' table. In the clear light of the wax candles she could see the
shine on
the silver plates. The napery was white linen, unmarked by any blemish.
They were
drinking wine from glassware. Alys found she was snuffing at the air,
breathing
in the smell of clean burning wax, clean linen, good food. It reminded
her of
the abbey and of the overwhelming hunger she had felt when she first
saw the
cleanness of it, and the order. She had set her heart on having the
best, the
very best that the abbey could have offered. And she had been well on
the way
to gaining the best cell, the softest pallet, the best-woven cloak and
smoothest robe. She was the abbess' favourite - as beloved as a
daughter -and
nothing was too good for her. And then the statue of Our Lady had
smiled on
her, confirming her desire to be there, in a holy place, in a state of
grace.
She
bowed her head over her plate to hide her face twisted with
disappointment. She
had lost everything in one night: her faith, her friends, her chance of
wealth
and comfort, and a life for herself. Alys could have risen to the
highest
office in the abbey, she could have been Reverend Mother herself one
day. But
then in one single night it was all gone. Now she was on the outside
looking
in, again. She had lost her future - and her mother too. Alys forced
herself
not to think of Mother Hildebrande and shame herself before them all by
weeping
for loneliness and loss at the dinner-table.
The
lords' table was served with fillets of salmon and salad of parsley,
sage,
leeks and garlic. Alys watched them as they were served. The greens
were fresh,
from the kitchen garden she guessed. The salmon was as pink as a wild
rose. It
would have been netted in the Greta this morning. Alys felt the water
rush into
her mouth as she looked at the pale succulent flesh, shiny with butter.
A
serving-lad shoved a trencher of bread before her spread thickly with
paste of
meat sweetened with honey and almonds, and his fellow poured more ale
into
Alys' goblet.
Alys
shook her head. 'I'm not hungry,' she said. 'I want to rest.'
Eliza
Herring shook her head. 'You may not leave the table until Father
Stephen has
said grace,' she said. 'And until the lords and my lady have left. And
then you
must pour your mess into the almoner's bowl for the poor.' 'They eat
the scraps
from the table?' Alys asked. 'They are glad of it,' Eliza said sharply.
'Didn't
you give to the poor in Penrith?'
Alys
thought of the carefully measured portions of the nuns. 'We gave whole
loaves,'
she said. 'And sometimes a barrel of meat. We fed anyone who called at
the
kitchen door. We did not give them our leavings.'
Eliza
raised her plucked eyebrows in surprise. 'Not very charitable!' she
said. 'My
Lord Hugh's almoner goes around the poor houses with the bowl once a
day, at
breakfast-time, with the scraps from the dinner and supper table.'
The
priest, seated at the head of the table below the dais, rose to his
feet and
prayed in a clear, penetrating voice in perfect Latin. Then he repeated
the
prayer again in English. Alys listened carefully; she had never heard
God
addressed in English before, it sounded like blasphemy - a dreadful
insult to
speak to God as if he were a neighbouring farmer, in ordinary words.
But she
kept her face steady, crossed herself only when the others did so, and
rose to
her feet as they did.
Lady
Catherine, the old lord and the young lord all turned towards the door
beside
the waiting-women's table.
'What
a
lovely gown you have,' Lady Catherine said to Alys, as if she had just
noticed
it. Her voice was friendly but her eyes were cold.
'Lord
Hugh gave it me,' Alys said steadily. She met Lady Catherine's gaze
without
flinching. I could hate you, she thought.
'You
are too generous, my lord,' Lady Catherine said, smiling.
Lord
Hugh grunted. 'She'll be a pretty wench when her hair is grown,' he
said.
'You'll have to take her into your rooms, Catherine. She did well
enough
sleeping by me when I was sick. If she is to stay, she'd best have a
bed with
your women.'
Lady
Catherine nodded. 'Of course, my lord,' she said pleasantly. 'Whatever
you
command. But if I had known you needed a clerk I could have written
your
letters for you. I daresay my Latin is a little better than this . ..
this
girl's.' She gave a light laugh.
Lord
Hugh shot a dark look at her from under his white eyebrows. 'I
daresay,' he
said. 'But not all my letters are fit for a lady to read. And all of it
is my
own business.' Two light spots of colour appeared on Lady Catherine's
cheeks.
'Of course, my lord,' she said. 'I only hope the girl can serve you.'
'Come
to my room now,' the old lord said to Alys. 'Come, I'll lean on you.'
He
gestured Alys to his side and she stepped before Lady Catherine. She
felt the
woman's resentment like a draught of cold air behind her. She held
still a
shiver which seemed to walk from the base of her spine up to the
cropped, cold
nape of her neck. Then Lord Hugh's heavy hand came comfortably on her
shoulder
and he leaned on her as she led him from the great hall, across the
lobby
behind it, and up to his room in the round tower.
He did
not let her go until the door was shut behind them.
'Now
then,' he said. 'You've seen the she-dog, my daughter-in-law, and
you've seen
my son. D'you see now why I let you meet no one, why my food is
tasted?' 'You
mistrust her,' Alys said.
'Damned
right,' the old lord said with a grunt. He slumped into the heavy
carved chair
at the fireplace. 'I mistrust them both. I mistrust them all. I'm
cold,' he
said fretfully. 'Fetch me a rug, Alys.'
Alys
took one of the fur-lined rugs from the bed and tucked it around his
shoulders.
'You
have to sleep with her women,' he said abruptly. 'I can't keep you
here, it
would make matters worse for you if they thought you were my whore. But
you
will keep your mouth shut about me and my business.' Alys fixed her
dark blue
eyes on him and nodded. 'And you will remember that it was I that sent
for you,
that it is I who command here, and that until I am dead you will be my
clerk
and servant and none other. My spy too,' he said abruptly. 'You can
listen to
her ladyship and tell me what she says of me, what she plans. And Hugo.'
'And
if
I refuse?' Alys asked, her voice so soft that he could not take offence.
'You
cannot refuse,' he said. 'You either consent to be my clerk, my spy, my
cunning
woman and my healer - or else I shall have you strangled and dumped in
the
moat. It's your choice.' He smiled wickedly. 'A free choice, Alys, I
won't
constrain you.'
Alys'
pale lovely face was as calm as a river on a sunny still day in June.
'I
consent,' she said easily. 'I will serve you in all that I can do - for
I
cannot make spells. And I will tell no one your business.'
The
old
lord looked hard at her. 'Good,' he said.
Alys'
knowledge of Latin was tested to its full extent by the letters the old
lord
sent all around England. He was seeking advice on how an annulment of
Hugo's
and Catherine's marriage would be greeted by his family, and by her
distant
kin. He suggested that she and Hugo - as second cousins - were in too
close
kinship, and that was why their marriage was barren, and should -
'perhaps,
'possibly', 'mayhap' - be annulled. His letters were a masterpiece of
vague
suggestion. Alys translated, and then translated again to hit upon the
right
tone of cautious inquiry. He was measuring the opposition he would face
from
his peers and rivals, and from the law.
He was
also preparing his allies and his friends for his own death, smoothing
the way
for his son. He sent two very secret letters by special messenger to
his
'beloved cousins' at Richmond Castle and York, commanding them to act
if his
death was sudden, if it looked like an accident, or if it had been
caused by an
illness which could be blamed on poisoning. He commanded them to seek
evidence
against his son's wife; and he implored them to have her tried and
executed if
any evidence could be found or fabricated which pointed to her. He cast
the darkest
suspicions on her plans and on her feelings towards him.
If (as
a possibility only he mentioned it to them), if the crime pointed to
his son -
they should ignore it. The inheritance of Hugo was more important than
revenge,
and besides, he would be dead by then and they would have no thanks
from him.
Alys, her eyes never lifting from the pages before her, realized that
Catherine
executed for murder was disposed of as neatly, and indeed more cheaply
than
Catherine set aside for barrenness. The old lord would not have died in
vain if
his death could be blamed on his daughter-in-law, his son set free to
marry
again, and a new Hugh born into the family.
Alys
bent her cropped head over her writing as he dictated, and tried to
translate
blind and deaf, working without taking in the sense of what he was
saying,
scenting the dangers which surrounded him - and her with him - as a
hare senses
the hounds and cowers low. She learned for the first time that the land
was
ruled by a network of conniving, conspiring landlords answerable only
to each
other and to the King himself. Each of them had one ambition only: to
retain
and improve the wealth and power of his family; and that could only be
done by
expanding the boundaries of their manors - and willing it intact to the
next
heir and the heir after him.
Alys,
her quill pen scratching on the downstrokes on the good-quality vellum,
realized that the conception of Hugo's son, the old lord's grandson,
was not a
personal matter between Hugo and his shrewish wife, not even a family
matter
between the old lord and his son. It was a financial matter, a
political
matter. If Hugo inherited and then died childless the Lordship of
Castleton
would be vacant, the manors would be broken up among buyers, the family
history
and crest revert to the King and be sold to the highest bidder, and the
great
northern family would fall, its history at an end, its name forgotten.
Someone
else would live in the castle and claim castle, crest and even family
history
for their own. For Lord Hugh that prospect was the deepest terror in
the world;
another family in his place would deny that he had ever been. Alys
heard his
fear in every line he dictated.
He
wrote also to the court. He had a hoard of treasure from Alys' wrecked
abbey to
be sent south as a gift for the King. The inventory Alys translated was
a
masterpiece of sleight of hand, as gold candlesticks were renamed
silver or
even brass, and heavy gold plates disappeared from the list. 'We did
the work,
after all, Alys,' he said to her one day. 'It was my Hugo that wrecked
the
abbey, doing the King's work with patriotic zeal. We deserve our share.'
Alys,
listing the silver and the gold which she had polished and handled,
remembering
the shape of the silver chalice against the white of the altar cloth
and the
sweet sacred taste of the communion wine, ducked her head and continued
writing.
If I
do
not escape from here, I shall go mad, she thought.
'It
went wrong at the nunnery,' Lord Hugh said. His voice held only faint
regret.
'The King's Visitors told us that the nuns were corrupt and Father
Stephen and
Hugo went to see the old abbess and persuade her to pay fines and mend
her
ways. Everywhere else they had been, the nuns or the monks had handed
over
their treasures, confessed their faults, and Hugo used them kindly. But
the old
abbess was a staunch papist. I don't believe she ever recognized the
King's
right to set aside the Dowager Princess Catherine of Aragon.' Lord Hugh
said
the title carefully. He had called her Queen Catherine for eighteen
years and
he was careful not to make a slip even when Alys was his only listener.
'She
took the oath to acknowledge Queen Anne but I am not sure how deep it
went with
her.' He paused. 'She would not discuss her faith with Father Stephen,
not even
when he charged her with laxity and abuses. She called him an ambitious
young
puppy.' Lord Hugh snorted in reluctant amusement. 'She insulted him and
faced
him down and threw them both out - my Hugo and Father Stephen. They
came home
like scolded boys. She was a rare woman, that abbess.' He chuckled.
'I'd have
liked to meet her. It's a shame it all went wrong and she died.'
'How
did it go all wrong at the nunnery?' Alys asked. She was careful to
keep her
voice light, casual.
'Hugo
was drunk,' the old lord said. 'He was on his way home with the
soldiers, they
had been chasing a band of moss troopers for seven days up and down the
dales.
He was drunk and playful and the men had been fighting mad for too
long, and
drunk with stolen ale. They made a fire to keep them warm and give them
light
to pick over the treasures. They were taking up a fine, it was all
legal - or
near enough. Father Stephen would not meet them to reason with the
nuns, he was
still angry with the old woman. He sent a message to Hugo and told him
to burn
her out - and be damned to her. The soldiers wanted a frolic and some
of them
thought they were doing Father Stephen's wish. They made the fire too
near the
hay barn, and then the place caught afire and the women all died. A bad
business.'
'Oh,'
Alys said. She drew a quiet breath to steady her belly, which was
quivering.
'None
of them got out,' Lord Hugh said. 'A bad business. Hugo tells me he
could hear
them screaming, and then a dreadful smell of burned meat. Like a
kitchen with a
vexed cook, he said.'
'Are these letters to be sent today, my lord?' she asked. Her hand holding the candle beneath the sealing-wax shook badly, and she bodged the seal.
In the
afternoon when the old lord rested she was supposed to sit in the
ladies'
gallery over the great hall and sew. It was a handsome room, the best
in the
castle. There was a wide oriel window looking out over the inner manse
filled
with clear and coloured panes of Normandy glass. The beams of the
ceiling were
brightly coloured: green, red, vermilion and the bright blue of bice.
The walls
were hung with bright tapestries, and where the wood showed it was
panelled and
carved with sheaves of wheat, fat lambs, bundles of fruit and goods,
reminders
of the wealth of the Lordship of Castleton. The doorway was carved with
the
heavy linenfold pattern which was repeated all around the room and on
the
window-seat before the oriel window, where Catherine could sit with a
chosen
confidante and avoid interruption from the others. There was a
fireplace as
good as the one in the nunnery and a square stone-carved chimney to
take the
smoke away so the air of the room was clear and the walls stayed clean.
The
floor had the dark shine of seasoned polished wood and was strewn with
fresh
herbs which gathered in heaps, swept around by the women's gowns. It
was a long
room, three-quarters the length of the great hall below it. Catherine's
chamber
was on the left at the far end, overlooking the courtyard through an
arched
window fitted with expensive glass. The women slept opposite her,
looking out
over the river through arrow-slits which admitted draughts and even
snow when
the wind was in the wrong direction. Next door to them was another
small
chamber, vacant except for lumber and a broken loom.
In
winter, and for many days in the bad weather of autumn and spring, the
women
spent every hour from breakfast till darkness inside the four walls.
Their only
exercise was to go up and down the broad, shallow flight of steps from
the
great hall to the gallery for their breakfast, dinner and supper. Their
only
occupation in the winter months was to sit in the gallery and sew,
read, write
letters, weave, sing or quarrel.
Alys
pretended she had extra work from Lord Hugh and stayed away whenever
she could.
She disliked the women's furtive, bawdy gossip, and she feared Lady
Catherine,
who never threatened Alys nor raised her voice, but watched all the
women, all
the time. The room was tense with an unstated, unceasing rivalry. In
the long
hours between midday dinner and supper served at dusk, while Hugo was
out
hunting, or sitting in judgement with his father, or riding out to
collect his
rents, or check the manor lands, the women might chatter among
themselves,
pleasantly enough. But as soon as Hugo's quick steps rang on the stone
stairs
the women straightened their hoods, smoothed their gowns, glanced at
each
other, compared looks.
Alys
kept her eyes down. There was always sewing to be done in the ladies'
gallery.
An endless tapestry in twelve panels, which had been started by Lady
Catherine's long-dead mother and willed to her daughter. Alys kept her
eyes on
her hands and stitched unceasingly when Hugo banged open the door and
strode
into the room. Since the first moment of seeing him Alys had never
again looked
directly at him. When he came into a room Alys went out, and when she
had to
pass him on the stairs she would press back against the cold stones,
keeping
her eyes down and praying that he did not notice her. When he was near
her Alys
could feel his presence on her skin, like a breath. When a door shut
behind
her, even out of her line of vision, she knew it was he who had gone
out. She
was tempted to look at him, she found her gaze drawn always towards
him. She
was fascinated to see whether his face was dark and silent, in his look
of
sullenness, or whether he was alight with his quick, easy joy. But she
knew
that when he was in the room Lady Catherine's gaze swept them all like
a sentry
on a watchtower. The least sign of interest by Hugo for any woman would
be
noted by Catherine and paid for, in full, later. Alys feared Lady
Catherine's
unremitting jealousy, she feared the politics of the castle and the
secret,
unstated rivalry of the ladies' gallery.
And
she
feared for her vows. More than anything else, she feared for her vows.
He
paused once, while he was running lightly up the stairs as Alys came
down,
waited on the step beside her and put a careless finger under her chin,
turning
her face to the arrow-slit for light.
'You're
beautiful,' he said. It was as if he were measuring her looks for
fault. 'Your
hair is coming through golden.'
Alys
had a mop-head of golden-brown curls, still too short to fasten back so
she
wore her hair as a child, loose around her face.
'What
age are you?' he asked.
She
sensed the quickening of his interest, so tangible that she almost
smelled it.
'Fourteen,'
she said.
'Liar,'
he replied evenly. 'What age?'
'Sixteen,'
she said sullenly. She did not take her watchful eyes off his face.
He
nodded. 'Old enough,' he said. 'Come to my room tonight,' he said
abruptly. 'At
midnight.'
Alys'
pale face was impassive, her blue eyes blank.
'Did
you hear me?' he asked, slightly surprised.
'Yes,
my lord,' Alys said carefully. 'I heard you.'
'And
you
know where my room is?' he asked, as if that could be the only
obstacle. 'In
the round tower on the floor above my father. When you leave his room
tonight,
take the stairs upwards to me instead of down to the hall. And I shall
have
some wine for you, little Alys, and some sweetmeats, and some gentle
play.'
Alys
said nothing, keeping her eyes down. She could feel the heat of her
cheeks and
the thud of her heart beating.
'Do
you
know what you make me think of?' Hugo asked confidentially.
'What?'
Alys asked, betrayed into curiosity.
'Fresh
cream,' he said seriously.
Alys'
eyes flew to his face. 'Why?' she asked.
'Every
time I see you all I can think of is fresh cream. All I think of is
pouring
cream all over your body and licking it off,' he said.
Alys
gasped and pulled away from him as if his touch had scorched her. He
laughed
aloud at her shocked face.
'That's
settled then,' he said easily. He smiled at her, his heart-turning
merry smile,
and swung around and took the steps upwards two at a time. She heard
him
whistling a madrigal as he went, joyous as a winter robin.
Alys
leaned back against the cold stones and did not feel their chill. She
felt
desire, hot and dangerous and exciting, in every inch of her body. She
gripped
her lower lip between her teeth but she could not stop herself smiling.
'No,'
she said sternly. But her cheeks burned.
Alys
knew she needed to see Morach and she had her chance that afternoon.
Lord Hugh
wanted a message taken to Bowes Castle and Alys offered to carry it.
'If I am
delayed I shall stay the night with my kinswoman,' she said. 'I should
like to
see her for a little while, and I need some herbs.'
The
old
lord looked at her and smiled his slow smile. 'But you'll come back,'
he said.
Alys
nodded.
'You know I'll come back,' she said. 'There's no life for me on the
moor now,
that life is closed to me. And the one I had before. It's like a
journey down a
chamber with doors that shut behind me. Whenever I find some safety I
have to
move on, and the old life is taken from me.'
He
nodded. 'Best find yourself a man and close all the doors for good;
those
before you, and those behind you,' he said.
Alys
shook her head. 'I won't wed,' she said. 'Because of your vows?' he
asked. 'Yes
...' Alys started and then she bit the words back. 'I've taken no vows,
my
lord,' she said smoothly. 'It's just that I am one of those women who
cannot
abide bedding. It goes with the skill of herbs. My cousin Morach lives
alone.'
Lord
Hugh coughed and spat towards the fire which burned in the corner of
his room,
smoke trailing through the arrow-slit above it. 'I guessed some time
ago you
were a runaway nun,' he said conversationally. 'Your Latin is very weak
in
profane language, very strong for sacred texts. Your hair was shaved,
and you
have that appetite - like all nuns - for the finest things.' He laughed
harshly. 'Did you think, little Sister Blue-eyes, that I have not seen
how you
stroke fine linen, how you love the light from wax candles, how you
preen in your
red gown and watch the light glint on the silver thread?' Alys said
nothing.
Her pulse was racing but she kept her face serene.
'You're
safe with me,' Lord Hugh said. 'Father Stephen is mad for the new ways
and the
new Church -he's a fanatical reformer, a holy man. Hugo loves the new
Church
because he sees the gains he can make: the reduction of the Prince
Bishops,
fines from the monastery lands, the power that we can now claim - us
peers
working with the Crown - and the spiritual lords cast down.'
He
paused and gave her a brief smile. 'But I am cautious,' he said slowly.
'These
turnabouts can happen more than once in a lifetime. It matters not to
me
whether there is a picture or two in a church, whether I eat flesh or
fish,
whether I pray to God in Latin or English. What matters more is the
Lordship of
Castleton and how we weather these years of change.
'I
won't betray you. I won't insist that I hear you take the vow of
loyalty to the
King, I won't have you stripped and flogged. I won't have you examined
for
heresy and when you fail given to the soldiers for their sport.'
Alys
scarcely registered the reprieve.
'Or at
any rate,' the old lord amended, 'not yet. Not while you remember that
you are
mine. My servant. My vassal. Mine in word and body and deed.'
Alys
inclined her head to show that she was listening. She said nothing.
'And
if
you serve me well I shall keep you safe, maybe even smuggle you away,
out of
the country, safe to an abbey in France. How would that be?'
Alys
laid her hand at the base of her throat. She could feel her pulse
hammering
against her palm. 'As you wish, my lord,' she said steadily. 'I am your
servant.'
'Fancy
an abbey in France?' the old lord asked pleasantly.
Alys
nodded dumbly, choked with hope. 'I could send you to France, I could
give you
safe conduct on your journey, give you a letter of introduction to an
abbess,
explaining your danger and telling her that you are a true daughter of
her
Church,' the old lord said easily. 'I could give you a dowry to take to
the
convent with you. Is that what it takes to buy your loyalty?'
'I am
your faithful servant,' Alys said breathlessly. 'But I would thank you
if you
would send me to a new home, abroad.'
The
old
lord nodded, measuring her. 'And serve me without fail until then, as a
fee for
your passage,' he said. Alys nodded. 'Whatever you command.' 'You'll
need to
stay a virgin I suppose. They won't accept you in the nunnery
otherwise. Has
Hugo been tugging at your skirts yet?' 'Yes,' Alys said precisely.
'What did
you tell him?' 'I said nothing.'
The
old
lord let out a sharp bark of laughter. 'Aye, that's your way, my
cunning little
vixen, ain't it? So he no doubt thinks he'll have you, and I think
you're sworn
to my interest and all along you follow your heretical beliefs, or your
mysterious arts, or your own sweet way which is none of these, don't
you?'
Alys
shook her head. 'No, my lord,' she said softly. 'I want to go to a
nunnery. I
want to renew my vows. I will do anything you ask of me if you will see
me safe
into my Order.'
'Do
you
need any guarding against my son?' Alys shook her head slowly. 'I wish
to see
my kinswoman. I could stay with her tonight,' she said. 'She will
advise me.'
He
nodded and rested his head against the back of his chair as if he were
suddenly
weary. Alys went silently to the door. As she turned the handle she
glanced
back: he was watching her from under his hooded eyelids.
'Don't
poison him,' he said sharply. 'None of your damned brews to kill his
ardour. He
needs a son, he needs all the vigour he has. I'll tell him to stick it
to his
wife when he feels his lust rising. You're safe under my charge. And I
mean to
honour my promise to see you safe behind walls when your work here is
done.'
Alys
nodded. 'When would that be, my lord?' she asked in a small voice,
careful not
to betray her anxiety. Lord Hugh yawned. 'When this damned marriage
business is
settled, I should think,' he said carelessly. 'When I am rid of the
shrew and I
have a new fertile daughter-in-law in Hugo's bed. I will need you to
work
secretly for me until I can see my way clear, but I won't need you
after that.
If you serve me well in this one thing, I'll put you back behind
convent walls
again.'
Alys
took a deep breath. 'I thank you,' she said calmly, and left the room.
She
paused outside his door and leaned against the wall, looking out of the
arrow-slit. The air which blew in was sharp with the cold from the
moor. For
the first time in months Alys felt her heart lift with hope. She was on
her way
back to her home.
She
borrowed a fat pony belonging to Eliza Herring to ride to Bowes,
confident of
her ability to manage the overfed old animal, riding astride with the
red gown
pulled down over her legs, one of the lads from the castle running
beside her.
As the pony picked its way around the filth of the wet street she saw a
few
doorways open a crack to eye her, and a thrown handful of stones
spattered on
the wall behind her. She nodded. She had no friends in the village. She
had
been feared as a cunning woman and now she would be reviled as the
lord's new
whore, a village girl vaulted to the highest place in their small world.
She
left the letter with the steward of the castle knowing that even if he
dared to
break the seal and open it, he would not be able to read the Latin. She
ordered
the lad to go back to Lord Hugh's castle. She would be safe going on
alone. The
road from Castleton to Bowes to Penrith ran along dry ground at the
crest of
the moor. Alys, glancing up the hill from the valley of Bowes, could
see the
pale ribbon of it running straight as a Roman ruler bisecting the
country from
east to west. It was empty of traffic. These were wild lands.
Travellers who
had to make the journey would delay on either side of the moor, at
Castleton in
the east, or Penrith in the west, so that they could travel together
and
protect each other. There were wild animals - boar and wolves, some
spoke of
bears. There were sudden snowstorms in winter, and no shelter. Worst of
all,
there were brigands and moss troopers, marauding Scots, sturdy beggars
and
vagabonds.
Alys
avoided the road and set the pony towards the little sheep track which
ran from
Bowes alongside the River Greta, through thick woods of beech and elm
and oak,
where deer moved quietly in the shadows of the trees. The river was
full and
wide here, moving slowly over a broad rocky bed. Underneath the stone
slabs a
deeper, secret river ran, a great underground lake stocked with fishes
that
preferred the dark deeps. Even on horseback, Alys could sense the
weight of
water beneath the ground, its slow purposeful moving in the secret
caves.
The
pony broke out of the trees, puffing slightly, and then started the
climb
westwards and upwards through swathes of poor pastureland where sheep
could
feed and perhaps a few scrawny cows, and then higher again to the moor.
Before
the plague had come to Bowes and there had been more working men,
someone had
walled off one pasture from another. The stones had fallen down now and
the
sheep could run where they wished. At shearing in spring, or butchering
in
winter, they would be sorted by the marks on their fleeces. Every
village had
its own brand - but they all belonged to Lord Hugh.
The
river was in spate here, a fast-moving swell of water overlapping the
stone of
the banks and flooding the meadows in great wet sweeps of waterlogged
land.
Alys rode beside it, listening to the gurgle and rush of the water, and
laughed
when the little pony shied sideways from a puddle. Bits of wood and
weed were
tumbled over and over in the peaty water, and at the river's edge the
springs
bubbled and gurgled like soup pots, spewing out more brown water to
swirl away
downstream. The branches of ivy nodding at the tumbled drystone walls
carried
thick heads of dull black berries, a rowan tree glowed with clusters of
scarlet
berries against the green and grey of the weak winter grass speckled by
small
brown toadstools on weak leggy stems. Alys kicked the old pony and
surprised it
into a loping canter. She sat easily in the saddle and felt the wind in
her
face as the hood of her cape blew back.
The
grey stone slabs of the bridge came into sight, the waters backed up
behind it
and spreading in a great sheet of flood water as shiny as polished
pewter.
Morach's cottage, like a little ark, stood on a hillock of higher
ground away
from the waters of the flood. Alys stood up in the stirrups and
shouted:
'Holloa! Morach!' so that Morach was standing in the doorway, shading
her eyes
against the low, red winter sun when Alys came trotting up on her pony.
'What's
this?' she asked, without a word of greeting. 'A loan only,' Alys said
casually. 'I'm not home for ever, I am allowed to visit this evening.
And I
need to talk with you.'
Morach's
sharp dark eyes scanned Alys' face. 'The young Lord Hugo,' she stated.
Alys
nodded, not even asking how Morach had guessed. 'Aye,' she said. 'And
the old
lord has forbidden me to give him anything to kill his lust.'
Morach
raised her black eyebrows and nodded. 'They need an heir,' she said.
'You can
tether that animal outside the gate, I won't have him near my herbs.
Come in.'
Alys
tied the pony to a twisted hawthorn bush which grew at Morach's
gateway, picked
her fine red gown clear of the muck, and went in.
She
had
forgotten the stink of the place. Morach's midden was downwind at the
back of
the cottage but the sweet sickly odour of muck and the tang of urine
hovered
around the cottage, seeped through the walls. The midden heap was as
old as the
cottage, it had always smelled foul. The little fire was flickering
sullenly on
damp wood and the cottage was filled with a mist of black smoke. A
couple of
hens scuttered out the way as Alys entered, their droppings green and
shiny on
the hearthstone. Under Alys' new leather shoes the floor felt slippery
with
damp. The body of flood water only yards from the threshold made the
very air
wet and cold. At dusk the mist would roll along the river valley and
seep under
the door and in the little window. Alys gathered her new cloak closer
and sat
by the fire, taking Morach's stool without asking.
'I
brought you some money,' she said abruptly. 'And a sackful of food.'
Morach
nodded. 'Stolen?' she inquired without interest.
Alys
shook her head. 'He gave it me,' she said. 'The old lord. Gave me these
clothes
too.'
Morach
nodded. 'They're very fine,' she said. 'Good enough for Lady Catherine
herself.
Good enough for Lord Hugh's whore.'
'That's
what they think me,' Alys said. 'But he is old, Morach, and has been
very sick.
He does not touch me. He is ...' She broke off as the thought came to
her for
the first time. 'He is kind to me, Morach.'
Morach's
dark eyebrows snapped together. 'First time in his life then,' she said
thoughtfully. 'Kind? Are you sure? Maybe he wants you for something and
he's
keeping it close.'
Alys
paused. 'He could be,' she said. 'I've never known a man to plan so far
ahead.
He has thought of everything, from his deathbed, to the death of the
young
lord's son who isn't even conceived. He has a place for me in his
schemes - to
work for him now, he needs a clerk who will keep secrets, and he'll see
me safe
to a nunnery when my work is finished.' She broke off, meeting Morach's
sceptical black glare. 'It's my only chance,' she said simply. 'He says
he will
get me to France, to a nunnery there. He is my only chance.'
Morach muttered something under her breath and turned to climb the ladder to her sleeping platform.
'Put
the
water on,' she said. 'I've some chamomile to mash. I need
it
to clear my head.'
Alys
bent
her head and blew at the fire and set the little pot of water on its
three legs
in the red embers. When the water started to bubble Alys threw in some
chamomile leaves and set it to stand. When Morach came down with her
bag of
fortune-telling bones, she and Alys shared the one chipped horn cup.
Morach
drank deep, and then shook the bones in their little purse.
'Choose,'
she said, holding out the purse to Alys. Alys hesitated.
'Choose,'
Morach said again.
'Is it
witchcraft?' Alys asked. She was not afraid, her blue eyes were fixed
challengingly on Morach. 'Is it black arts, Morach?'
Morach
shrugged. 'Who knows?' she said carelessly. 'To one man it's black
arts, to
another it's wise woman's trade, and to another it's a foolish old
woman muttering
madness. It's often true - that's all I know.'
Alys
shrugged and at Morach's impatient gesture took one of the carved flat
bones,
then another, then a third, from the little pouch.
Morach
stared at her choice. 'The Gateway,' she said first. 'That's your
choice,
that's where you are now. The three ways that lie before you - the
castle life
with its joys and dangers and its profits; the nun's life which you
will have
to fight like a saint to regain; or here -poverty, dirt, hunger. But
...' She
laughed softly. 'Invisibility. The most important thing for a woman,
especially
if she is poor, especially if she will grow old one day.'
Morach
studied the second bone with the rune scrawled on it in a rusty brown
ink.
'Unity,' she said, surprised. 'When you make your choice you have the
chance
for unity - to travel with your heart and mind in the same direction.
Set your
heart on something and stay true to it. One goal, one thought, one
love.
Whatever it is you desire: magic, your God, love.'
Alys'
face was white, her eyes almost black with anger. 'I don't want him,'
she said
through her teeth. 'I don't want love, I don't want lust, I don't want
desire,
I don't want him. I want to get back where I belong, to the cloister
where my
life has order, some peace and some security and wealth. That's all.'
Morach
laughed. 'Not much then,' she said. 'Not much for a drab from Bowes
Moor, a
runaway wench, a runaway nun. Not much to wish for - peace, security
and
wealth. Not a great demand!'
Alys
shook her head irritably. 'You don't understand!' she exclaimed. 'It is
not a
great demand. It is my life, it is what I am used to. It is my proper
place, my
deserts. I need it now. Holiness - and a life where I can be at peace.
Holiness
and comfort.'
Morach
shook her head, smiling to herself. 'It's a rare combination,' she said
softly.
'Holiness and comfort. Most holy roads tend to the stony, I thought.'
Alys
shrugged irritably. 'How would you know?' she demanded. 'What road have
you
ever followed but your own choice?'
Morach
nodded. 'But I follow one road,' she reminded Alys. 'And they call me a
wise
woman rightly. This is what the Unity rune is telling you. Choose one
road and
follow it with loyalty.' Alys nodded. 'And the last one?'
Morach
turned it around, looked at both sides and studied the two blank faces
for a
moment. 'Odin.
Death,' she said
casually and tossed the three back into the bag.
'Death!'
Alys exclaimed. 'For who?'
'For
me,' Morach said evenly. 'For the old Lord Hugh, for the young Lord
Hugo, for
you. Did you think you would live forever?'
'No
...' Alys stumbled. 'But... d'you mean soon?' 'It's always too soon,'
Morach
replied with sudden irritation. 'You'll have your few days of passion
and your
choices to make before you come to it. But it's always too soon.'
Alys
waited impatiently for more but Morach drank deep of the tea and would
not look
at her. Alys took the little purse of copper coins from her pocket and
laid it
in Morach's lap. Morach knocked it to the floor. 'There's no more,' she
said
unhelpfully.
'Then
talk to me,' Alys said. For a moment her pale face trembled and she
looked like
a child again. 'Talk to me, Morach. I am like a prisoner in that place.
Everyone except the old lord himself is my enemy.'
Morach
nodded her head. 'Will you run?' she asked with slight interest. 'Run
again?'
'I
have
the horse now,' Alys said, her voice quickening as the idea came to
her. 'I
have a horse and if I had money ...' Morach's bare dirty foot stepped
at once
to cover the purse she had knocked to the floor. 'There must be an
order of
nuns where they would take me in,' Alys said. 'You must have heard of
somewhere, Morach!'
Morach
shook her head. 'I have heard of nothing except the Visitors and fines
and
complaints against nunneries and monasteries taken as high as the
King,' she
said. 'Your old abbey is stripped bare - the benches from the church,
the
slates from the roof, even some of the stones themselves are pulled
down, and
carted away for walls, or mounting blocks. First by Lord Hugo's men
from the
castle and now on his order by the villagers. It's the same in the
north from
what I hear, and the south. They'll have escaped the King's
investigations in
Scotland, you could try for it. But you'd be dead before you reached
the
border.'
Alys
nodded. She held out her hand for the cup and Morach refilled it and
handed it
to her.
'The
mood of the times is against you,' she said. 'People were sick of the
wealth of
the abbeys, priests, monks and nuns. They were sick of their greed.
They want
new landlords, or no landlords at all. You chose the wrong time to
become a
nun.'
'I
chose the wrong time to be born,' Alys said bitterly. 'I am a woman who
does
not fit well with her time.'
Morach
grinned darkly. 'Me too,' she said. 'And a whole multitude of others.
My fault
was that I gained more than I could hold. My sin was winning. So they
brought
the man's law and the man's power against me. The man's court, the law
of men;
I have hidden myself in the old power, in the old skills, in woman's
power.'
She
looked at Alys without sympathy. 'Your fault is that you would never
bide
still,' she said. 'You could have lived here with me with naught to
fear except
the witch-taker but you wanted Tom and his farmhouse and his fields.
Then when
you saw something better you fled for it.
'They
thought Tom would die of grief for you, he begged me to order you home.
I
laughed in his face. I knew you would never come. You'd seen something
better.
You wanted it. I knew you'd never come back of your own free will.
You'd have
stayed forever, wouldn't you?'
Alys
nodded. 'I loved Mother Hildebrande, the abbess,' she said. 'I was high
in her
favour. And she loved me as if I were her daughter. I know she did. She
taught
me to read and to write, she taught me Latin.
She
took special pains with me and she had great plans for me. I worked in
the
still-room with the herbs, and I worked in the infirmary and I studied
in the
library. I never had to do any heavy dirty work. I was the favourite of
them all,
and I washed every day and slept very soft.' She glanced at Morach. 'I
had it
all then,' she said. 'The love of my mother, the truest, purest love
there is,
comfort and holiness.'
'You'll
not find that again in England,' Morach said. 'Oh, the King cannot live
forever, or he may cobble together some deal with the Pope. His heirs
might
restore the Church. But English nuns will never have you back.' They
might not
know I ran ...' Alys started. Morach shook her head emphatically.
'They'll
guess,' she said. 'You were the only one to get out of that building
alive that
night. The rest burned as they slept.'
Alys
closed her eyes for a moment and smelled the smoke and saw the flicker
of
flames, orange on the white wall of her cell. Again she heard that high
single
scream as she ducked through the gate and kilted up her habit and ran
without
care for the others, without a care for the abbess who had loved her
like a
daughter, and who slept quiet, while the smoke weaved its grey web
about her
and held her fast till the flames licked her feather mattress and her
linen
shift and then her tired old body.
'The only one out of thirty of them,' Morach said with subterranean pride. 'The only one - the biggest coward, the fleetest of foot, the quickest turncoat.'
Alys
bowed her head. 'Don't, Morach,' she said softly.
Morach
smacked her lips on a sip of the chamomile tea. 'So what will you do?'
she
asked.
Alys
looked up defiantly. 'I won't be defeated,' she said. 'I won't be
driven down
into being another dirty old witch on the edge of the moor. I won't be
a
maid-in-waiting or a clerk. I want to eat well and sleep well, and wear
good
cloth and ride dry-shod, and I won't be driven down into life as an
ordinary
woman. I won't be married off to some clod to work my life away all day
and
risk my life every year bearing his children. I'll get back to a
nunnery, where
I belong, one way or another. The old lord won't break his promise to
me -
he'll send me to France. If I can escape the notice of the young Lord
Hugo and
the malice of his wife, and if I can keep myself a virgin in that place
where
they think of nothing but lust - I can get back.'
Morach
nodded. 'You need a deal of luck and a deal of power to accomplish
that,' she
said thoughtfully. 'Only one way I can think of.' She paused. Alys
leaned
forward. 'Tell me,' she said. 'A pact,' Morach said simply. 'A pact
with the
devil himself. Have him guard you against the young lord, make him turn
his
eyes another way. I know enough of the black arts to guide you. We
could call
up the dark master, he would come for you, for sure - a sacred little
soul like
yours. You could trade your way into comfort forever. There's your way
to peace
and order and safety. You become the devil's own and you are never an
ordinary
woman again.'
For a
moment Alys hesitated as if she were tempted by the sudden rush into
hell, but
then she dropped her face into her hands and moaned in torment. 'I
don't want
to,' she cried as if she were a little girl again. 'I don't want to,
Morach! I
want a middle way. I want a little wealth and a little freedom! I want
to be
back in the nunnery with Mother Hildebrande. I am afraid of the devil!
I am
afraid of the witch-taker! I am afraid of the young lord and of his icy
wife! I
want to be somewhere safe! I am too young for these dark choices! I am
not old
enough to keep myself safe! I want Mother Hildebrande! I want my
mother!'
She
broke into a storm of crying, her face buried in her arms, leaning
slightly
towards Morach as if begging wordlessly for an embrace. Morach folded
her arms
and rested her chin on them, gazing into the fire, waiting for Alys to
be
still. She was quite untouched by her grief.
'There's
no safety for you, or for me,' she said equably when Alys was quieter.
'We're
women who do not accord with the way men want. There's no safety for
our sort.
Not now, not ever.'
Alys'
sobs weakened against the rock of Morach's grim indifference. She fell
silent,
rubbing her face on her fine woollen undersleeve. A piece of wood in
the
fireplace snapped and burned with a yellow flame.
'Then
I
go back to the castle and take my chance,' Alys said, resigned. Morach
nodded.
'Our
Lady once chose me,' Alys said, her voice very low, speaking of a holy
secret.
'She sent me a sign. Even though I have sinned most deeply, I hope and
I trust
that She will guide me back to Her. She will make my penance and give
me my
absolution. She cannot have chosen me to watch me fail.'
Morach
cocked her eyebrow, interested. 'Depends on what sort of a goddess she
is,' she
said judicially. 'There are some that would choose you to see nothing
but
failure. That's the joy in it for them.'
'Oh!'
Alys shrugged impatiently. 'You're a heathen and a heretic, Morach! I
waste my
time speaking with you.'
Morach
grinned, unrepentant. 'Don't speak with me then,' she said placidly.
'Your Lady
chose you. So She will keep you safe to play Her game, whatever it is.
Depend
upon Her then, my little holy lamb! What are you doing here, drawing
the runes
and praying for the future?'
Alys
hunched her shoulders, clasped her hands. 'The young lord is my
danger,' she
said. 'He could take me from Our Lady. And then I would be lost.'
'She
won't strike him blind to save you?' Morach asked sarcastically. 'She
won't put
out Her sacred hand to stop him feeling up your gown?'
Alys
scowled at Morach. 'I have to find a way to defend myself. He would
have me for
his sport,' she said. 'He ordered me to his room tonight. If he rapes
me I'll
never get back to the nuns. He'd have me and throw me aside, and his
wife would
turn me out. I'd be lucky to get through the guardroom once they knew
the young
lord had done with me.'
Morach
laughed. 'Best keep your legs crossed and your Latin sharp then,' she
said.
'Pray to your Lady, and trust the old lord.' She paused. 'If you would
stoop to
take them, my saint, there are some herbs I know which would make you
less
sweet to him.'
Alys
looked up. 'I may not kill his lust,' she warned. 'The old lord forbade
it and
he will be watching me. I cannot give Hugo anything to weary him of
venery.'
Morach
rose from the floor and went to the bunches of herbs dangling on
strings from
the beams of the sleeping platform. 'It is you who takes this,' she
said. 'Make
it into a tisane, every morning, and drink it while it cools. It kills
a man's
desire for the woman that drinks it.'
Alys
nodded. 'And what would you use to kill a woman's desire?' she asked
casually.
Morach
turned, her dark face under the shock of grey hair alight with
mischief. 'A
woman's desire?' she said. 'But my little nun, my precious virgin, who
is this
lustful woman? We were talking of the young lord and his persecution of
your
sainted virginity!'
'Have
done,' Alys said sulkily. 'I was asking for one of the women in the
gallery.'
Morach
chuckled. 'I would have to meet her,' she said slyly. 'This woman, is
she young
or old? Has she known a man or is she a virgin? Does she long for his
love, his
devotion - or is she just hot for his body to crush her and his wetness
inside
her and his hands all over her?'
Alys
flushed rosy. 'I don't know,' she said grimly. 'If she asks me again I
will
bring her to you.'
Morach
nodded, her eyes sparkling with amusement. 'You do, pretty Alys,' she
said. 'Do
bring her to me.'
Alys
tucked the bunch of herbs into her pocket. 'Anything else?' she asked.
'To kill
Hugo's ardour? Anything else I should do?'
Morach
shook her head. 'I have no other herbs, but you could bring me some
candlewax
when you next come and I'll make images of them all,' she offered.
'We'll make
them all into moppets to dance to your bidding, you and me.'
Alys'
eyes widened. 'It cannot be done!' she exclaimed.
Morach
smiled darkly and nodded. 'I've never done it before,' she said. 'It's
deep
magic, very deep. But the old woman who was here before me taught me
the words.
It never fails except...
'Except
what?' Alys asked. She shivered as if she were suddenly cold. 'Except
what?'
she asked. 'Sometimes they misunderstand.'
Alys
drew a little closer. 'What?' she asked. 'Who misunderstand?'
Morach
smiled. 'You take the little figures and you bind them with deep magic.
Understand that?' Alys nodded, her face pale.
'You
order them to do your bidding. You command them to do as you wish.'
Alys nodded
again.
'Sometimes
they misunderstand,' Morach said, her voice very low. 'I heard of one
woman who
ordered her lover to come alive again. He was dead of the plague and
she could
not bear to lose him. She made the candlewax moppet while he was lying
cold and
poxed in the room next door, the sores all over him. When she made the
moppet
walk, he walked too, just as she had commanded.'
Alys
swallowed against a tight throat. 'He was better?'
Morach
chuckled, a low chilling laugh. 'No,' she said. 'He was dead and cold,
covered
with sores, his eyes blank, his lips blue. But he walked behind her, as
she had
commanded; everywhere she went he walked behind her.' 'A ghost?' Alys
asked.
Morach shrugged. 'Who knows?' Alys shook her head. 'That's foul,' she
exclaimed. 'That's black arts, Morach! As foul as your pact with the
devil.
I'll not touch magic, I've told you before. You tempt me and you bring
me no
good!'
'Wait
till you are in need,' Morach said scathingly. 'Wait till you are
hungry. Wait
till you are desperate. And then bring me the candlewax. When you are
desperate
- and you will be desperate, my little angel - you will be glad enough
of my
power then.'
Alys
said nothing.
'I'm
hungry,' Morach said abruptly. 'Fetch the food and let's eat. I've only
enough
wood for another hour, you can gather some more in the morning.'
Alys
looked at her resentfully. 'My hands are softening,' she said. 'And my
nails
are clean and growing again. You can get your own wood, Morach. I've
brought
you food and money, that should be enough.'
Morach
laughed, a harsh, sharp sound. 'So the little virgin has claws, too,
does she?'
she crowed. 'Then I'll tell you - I have a good woodpile out the back.
Now
fetch the food.'
As the
days grew darker and colder in November Alys' work as the old lord's
clerk
increased. He grew more frail and tired quickly. When a messenger
arrived with
letters in English or Latin he would summon Alys to read them to him,
he was
too weary to puzzle them out himself. When young Lord Hugo came to tell
him about
judgements in the ward, or disputes over borders, or news from the
wider world,
from the Council of the North or from London itself, he would have Alys
by him,
sometimes taking notes of what the young lord was saying, sometimes
standing
behind his chair listening. Then when Hugo was gone, with a swirl of
his dark
red cape and a mischievous wink at Alys, the old lord would ask her to
tell
him, over again, what Hugo had said.
'He
mumbles so!' he said.
The
tension between the old lord and the young one was clear now to Alys.
The young
lord was the coming man: the soldiers were his, and the castle
servants. He
wanted to make the family greater in the outside world. He wanted to go
to
London and try for a place in the King's court. The King was a braggart
and a
fool -wide open to anyone who could advise him and amuse him. The young
lord
wanted a place at the table of the great. He had embraced the new
religion.
Father Stephen, another ambitious young man, was his friend. He spoke
of
building a new house, leaving the castle which had been his family's
home since
the first Hugo had come over with the conquering Normans and taken the
lordship
as his fee and built the castle to hold the land. Hugo wanted to trade,
he
wanted to lend money on interest. He wanted to pay wages in cash and
throw
peasants off their grubbing smallholdings and make the flocks of sheep
bigger
still on long, uninterrupted sheep-runs. He wanted to mine coal, he
wanted to
forge iron. He wanted the sun shining full upon him. He wanted risks.
Old
Lord Hugh stood against him. The family had held the castle for
generation
after generation. They had built the single round tower with a wall and
a moat
around it. Little by little they had won or bought more land. Little by
little
they had made the castle bigger, adding the second round tower for
soldiers,
and then the hall with the gallery above, adding the outer wall and the
outer
moat to enclose the farm, a second well, stables and the great
gatehouse for
the soldiers. Quietly, almost stealthily, they had wed and plotted,
inherited
and even invaded to add to the lordship until the boundaries of their
lands
stretched across the Pennines to the east, and westward nearly to the
sea. They
kept their power and their wealth by keeping quiet - keeping their
distance
from the envy and the struggles around the throne.
Lord
Hugh had been to London only half a dozen times in his life, he was the
master
of the loyal excuse. He had gone to Queen Anne's coronation, where a
man was
safer to be seen in support than absent, wearing sober clothes and
standing at
the back, the very picture of a provincial, loyal lord. He voted by
proxy, he
bribed and negotiated by letter. When summoned to court he pleaded ill
health,
dangerous unrest in his lands or, lately, old age; and at once sent the
King a
handsome present to please the errant royal favour. He knew from his
kin at
court who were the coming men and who were likely to fall. He had spies
in the
royal offices who reported to him the news he needed. He had debtors
scattered
across the country who owed him money and favours. A thousand men
called him
cousin and looked to him for favour and protection and paid him with
information. He sat like a wily spider in a network of caution and
fear. He
represented the power of the King in the wild lands of the north, and
took his
place on the great Council of the North, but never more than once a
year. He
never showed the family wealth or their power too brightly, for fear of
envious
southerners' eyes. He followed the traditions of his father and his
grandfather. They lived on their lands, riding all day and never
leaving their
own borders. They sat in their own courts. They handed down justice in
their
own favour. They announced the King's laws and they enforced those they
preferred.
They did very well as obscure tyrants.
Their
greatest rivals were the Prince Bishops and the monasteries, and now
the
Bishops were fighting for their wealth and could be fighting for their
lives.
The old lord saw the good times opening slowly for his son, and for his
son's
unborn, not-yet-conceived heir, and his son after him. Hugo's grandson
would be
as rich in land as any lord in England, would command more men than
most. He
could throw his influence with Scotland, with England. He would own a
little
kingdom of his own. Who could guess how far the family might rise, if
they
waited and used their caution and their wisdom as they always had done?
But
the
young Lord Hugo did not want to wait for the great lands of monasteries
to come
his way in maybe five, ten years from now. He did not want to wait for
the
sheep to be shorn, the copyholders' fines to be slowly increased, the
annual
rents brought in. He wanted wealth and power at once. He had friends
who owned
wagons, one who had a fleet of barges, one who was mining coal and iron
ore,
another who spoke of ocean-going ships and prizes to be had from
countries
beyond Europe, beyond the known world. He spoke of trade, of business,
of
lending and borrowing money at new profitable rates. He never showed
his
impatience with his father, and Alys feared him more because of this
single,
uncharacteristic discretion.
'He
wants to go to London,' she warned the old lord. 'I know,' he said. 'I
am
holding him back and he will not tolerate it forever.' Alys nodded.
'Have
you heard more?' the old lord asked. 'Any plots, any plans? D'you think
his
impatience grows so strong that he would poison me, or lock me away?'
Alys'
nostrils flared as if she could smell the danger in the question. 'I
have heard
nothing,' she said. 'I was only saying that the young lord is impatient
to make
his way in the world. I accuse him of nothing.'
'Tssk,'
the old lord said impatiently. 'I need you to be ready to accuse him,
Alys. You
are in my daughter-in-law's chamber, you hear the gossip of the women.
Catherine knows full well that if she does not conceive a child within
the year
I will find a way to be rid of her. Her best way would be to get rid of
me
before I make a move. Hugo is mad for the court and for London and I
block his
way south. Listen for me, Alys. Watch for me. You go everywhere, you
can hear
and see everything. You do not need to accuse Hugo or Catherine, either
one or
the other. You just have to tell me your suspicions- your slightest
suspicions.' 'I have none,' Alys said firmly.
'Lady Catherine speaks of your death as an event in the
future, nothing
more. I have never heard her admit that she fears a divorce or an
annulment.
And Lord Hugo comes to her rooms only rarely, and I never see him
outside your
chamber.'
He was
silent for a moment. 'You don't see Hugo outside my room?' he confirmed.
Alys
shook her head.
'He
does not waylay you?'
'No,'
Alys replied.
It was
true. Either Morach's tisane had worked, or the old lord had made his
wishes
plain. When Alys rode back to the castle from Morach's cottage, Hugo
had shot
her one unrepentant wink, but never ordered her to his chamber again.
After
that, she kept out of the young lord's way as much as she could, and
kept her
eyes on the ground when she had to walk past him. But one cold morning,
in the
guardroom below the old lord's private chamber, she was coming down the
little
staircase as Hugo waited to walk up.
'Always
in a hurry, Alys,' Hugo said conversationally. He took her sleeve in a
firm
grip between two fingers. 'How is my father today?'
'He is
well, my lord,' Alys said. She kept her eyes on the stone flags between
his
riding boots. 'He slept well, his cough has eased.'
'It's
this damp weather,' Hugo said. 'You can feel the mist coming off the
river,
can't you, Alys? Doesn't it chill you to the bone?'
Alys
shot a swift upward look at him. His dark face was bent down towards
her, very
close, as if she might whisper a reply.
'I
have
no complaint, my lord,' she said. 'And the spring will come soon.'
'Oh,
not for months and months yet,' Hugo said. 'We have long days of
darkness and
cold yet to come.' He whispered the words 'darkness and cold' as if
they were
an invitation to the firelit warmth of his room. 'I do not feel the
cold,' she
said steadily. 'Do you dislike me?' Hugo asked abruptly. He dropped her
sleeve
and put both hands either side of her face, turning it up to him. 'You
told my
father that I had invited you and that you were unwilling. Do you
dislike me,
Alys?'
Alys
stayed still and looked steadily at the silvery whiteness of the
falling band
of his collar, as if it could cool her.
'No,
my
lord,' she said politely. 'Of course not.' 'But you never came to my
room,' he
observed. 'And you told tales to my father. So he told me to keep my
hands off
you. Did you know that?'
He
held
Alys' face gently. She stole a quick look at his eyes; he was laughing
at her.
'I did not know that.'
'So
you
do like me then?' he demanded. He could hardly hold back his laughter
at the absurdity
of the conversation. Alys could feel laughter bubbling up inside
herself too.
'It is
not my place, my lord, to either like you or dislike you,' Alys said
primly.
Under his fingers her cheeks were tingling.
Hugo
stopped laughing, held her face still with one hand, and with a gentle
fingertip traced a line from the outside of her eye, down her
cheek-bone to the
corner of her lip. Alys froze still, unmoving beneath his caress. He
bent a
little closer. Alys shut her eyes to blot out the image of Hugo's
smiling
intent face coming closer. He hesitated, a half, a quarter of an inch
from
Alys' lips.
'But I
like you, Alys,' he said softly. 'And my father will not live forever.
And I
think you would feel the cold if you were back on Bowes Moor again.'
Alys
stayed mute. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her face. His
lips were
very close to hers. She could not move away from his kiss, she could
only wait,
passive, her face turned up, her eyes slowly, drowsily closing. Then
his hands
left her face and he straightened up. Alys' eyes flew open; she stared
at him
in surprise.
'In
your own time, Alys,' he said pleasantly, and he swung out of the room
and ran
up the curving stairs of the tower to his father's room.
No one
had seen them, no one had heard them. But Lady Catherine knew.
When
Alys was summoned to the ladies' chamber to sew, Lady Catherine waved
her to a
stool near her own chair, where she could watch Alys' face as the
others
talked.
'You're
very quiet,' she said to Alys. Alys glanced up with her polite,
deferential
smile. 'I was listening, my lady,' she said.
'You
never speak of your own kin,' Lady Catherine said. 'Do you have any
family
other than the mad old woman on the moor?'
'No,'
Alys said. 'Except those at Penrith,' she corrected herself.
Lady
Catherine nodded. 'And no sweetheart? No betrothed?' she asked idly.
The other
women were silent, listening to the interrogation.
Alys
smiled but made a tiny movement of her shoulders, of her head, to
signify her
regret. 'No,' she said. 'Not now. Once I had a sweetheart,' she glanced
to
Mistress Allingham. 'You would know of him, Mistress Allingham. Tom the
sheep
farmer. But I had no portion and I went away to Penrith and he married
another
girl.'
'Perhaps
we should dower you, and send you off to be wed!' Lady Catherine said
lightly.
'It's a dull life for you here, where no man sees you and nothing ever
happens.
It's well enough for us - we're all married women or widows or
betrothed - but
a girl like you should be wed and bearing children.'
Alys
sensed the trap opening up before her. 'You're very kind, my lady,' she
said
hesitantly.
'That's
settled then!' Lady Catherine said brightly. Her voice was as gentle as
a
diamond scratching glass. 'I will ask my Lord Hugo to look among the
soldiers
for a good man for you, and I will give you a dowry myself.'
'I
cannot marry,' Alys said suddenly. 'I cannot marry and keep my skills.'
'How
is
that?' Lady Catherine asked, opening her grey eyes very wide. 'You do
not need
to be a virgin to be a healer unless you deal in magic, surely?'
'I use
no magic,' Alys said swiftly. 'I am just a herbalist. But I could not
do my
work if I belonged to a man. It is time-consuming and wearisome. My
kinswoman
lives alone.'
'But
she's a widow,' Mistress Allingham interrupted, and was rewarded with a
swift,
small smile from Lady Catherine.
'So
you
can wed and still keep your arts,' Lady Catherine said triumphantly.
'You are
shy, Alys, that is all. But I promise you we will find you a fine young
husband
who will care for you and use you gently.'
Eliza
Herring and Margery tittered behind their hands. Ruth, who feared Lady
Catherine more than they did, kept very silent and stitched faster,
bending low
over her work.
'You
do
not thank me?' Lady Catherine asked; her voice was clear and underneath
it -
like an underground river - was a current of absolute menace. 'You do
not thank
me for offering to dower you? And have you married to a good man?'
'Yes,
I
do indeed,' Alys said with her clear, honest smile. 'I thank you very
much
indeed, my lady.'
Lady
Catherine turned the talk to the gossip of London. She had a letter
from one of
her distant family in the south which spoke of the King and his growing
coldness towards the young Anne Boleyn, his new Queen, even though she
was big
with his child again. Alys, who blamed the King and the whore, his
pretend
Queen, for all her troubles, smiled an empty smile as she listened, and
hoped
that Lady Catherine had been merely amusing herself by tormenting her
with
promises of marriage.
'And
the new Queen was nothing more than a maid-in-waiting in the old
Queen's
bedchamber when she took the King's fancy,' Eliza Herring said
tactlessly.
'Think of that! Serving a queen one day and being a queen yourself the
next!'
'And
the one he looks to now, Lady Jane Seymour, has served them both!'
Margery
said. 'Served the old Queen - the false one I mean - and now Queen
Anne,'
'A
fine
place to have at court, a lady-in-waiting,' Eliza said. 'Think how high
you
might rise!'
Lady
Catherine nodded but her face was impassive. She looked at Alys as if
to warn
her. Alys ducked her head down and sewed.
'Those
are London manners,' Catherine said with soft menace. 'And what is
right and
proper for the King is not always a course for his subjects.'
'Of
course not!' Margery said, flustered. 'Besides, if Queen Anne has a
son, he
will cleave to her! No King would put aside a wife who gave him a son!
It is
only barren wives who get that treatment!'
Catherine's
face went white with anger.
'I
mean
...' Margery stumbled.
'The
King's marriage was annulled because Catherine of Aragon was his
brother's
wife,' Catherine said icily. 'That was the only reason for the
annulment of the
marriage, and you have all sworn an oath of allegiance recognizing the
King's
rightful heir and the truth of his marriage to Queen Anne.'
The
women nodded, keeping their heads down.
'Any
talk of divorce at the whim of the King is treason,' Catherine said
firmly.
'There can be no divorce. The King's first marriage was invalid and
against the
law of God. There can be no comparison.'
'With
what?' Eliza asked dangerously.
Catherine's
grey eyes stared her down. 'There can be no comparison between your
positions
and the Queen's ladies,' she said with acid clarity. 'You are none of
you high
enough to wear scarlet, whatever borrowed clothes Alys may use. I hope
that
none of you would want to overset the natural order, the God-given
order.
Unless Alys hopes to see herself in purple? Married to a lord?'
The
women laughed in a nervous, obedient chorus.
'Who
did the gown belong to, Alys?' Catherine asked vindictively.
'I was
told it belonged to a woman called Meg,' Alys said, clearing her throat
and
speaking low.
'And
do
you know who she was, Alys?' Catherine asked.
Alys
lifted her head from her sewing. 'Lord Hugh's whore,' she said softly.
Catherine
nodded. 'I think I would rather wear brown than flaunt borrowed
colours,' she
said. 'I would rather wear honest brown than the gown of a whore who
died of
the pox.' Alys gritted her teeth. 'Lord Hugh ordered me to wear this
gown, I
have no other.' She shot one look at Catherine.
'I hope I do not displease you, my lady. I do not dare disobey Lord
Hugh.'
Catherine nodded her head. 'Very well,' she said.
'Very
well. But you had best borrow only the gown, Alys, and not the manners
of the
last owner.' Alys met Catherine's hard, suspicious gaze. 'I am a maid,'
she
said. 'Not a whore. And I shall stay that way.'
After
that she kept even more carefully away from anywhere that she might
meet the
young lord. When he came to his father's room she sat in a corner, in
the
shadows. She put off the cherry-red gown which the old lord had given
her, and
asked if she might take a new one from the box. She chose a dark blue
one, so
dark that it was almost black, and wore it with a black stomacher tied
as flat
as a board across her belly. It was too large for her and came too high
up
under her chin, hiding the swell of her tight-pressed breasts. She
rummaged in
the box and found an old-fashioned gable hood in the style which had
gone out
with the old queen, the false Queen Catherine. Alys scraped back her
growing
curly hair into a black cap pinned tight. Then she pulled the gable
hood on top
of the cap and pinned it down. It was heavier than her wimple and
hotter with
her hair underneath, but it reminded Alys for a moment of the steady
pressure
of the wimple and the bindings around her face which she had worn for
so long.
'You
look like a nun,' the old lord said. And when he saw her swift guarded
look at
him he said, 'No, wench, you're safe enough. You look like a woman who
is
trying to be invisible. Who are you hiding from, Alys? Lady Catherine?
Hugo?'
'The
other gown was dirty,' Alys said evenly. 'I have sent it to be washed.
And it
is time I wore a hood.'
Lord
Hugh raised his white eyebrows. 'You can have your pick of that chest
of
clothes,' he said. 'And tell David to show you the other chest. You
might as
well wear them as anyone else while you are here. When you leave they
must
stay.'
'Thank
you,' Alys said quietly. 'Is it not an offence for me to wear scarlet,
my lord?
I thought only a wife of a landholder could wear red?'
Lord
Hugh chuckled. 'I enforce the law of the land. The laws are what I say.
And
anyway, women don't matter.'
The
castle was preparing for the feast of Christmas and the turkeys and
geese
gobbled innocently on extra feed. The old lord developed a cough which
kept him
awake at nights and made him tired and irritable during the day. Alys
went out
in the dawn frost to pick fresh herbs in the little garden outside the
kitchen
door and bumped into a man, wrapped thick in a cloak, coming in.
He put
out a hand to steady her, gripped her arm. As soon as he touched her
she knew
it was Hugo.
'I
gave
you a fright.' His smile gleamed from the shadow of his hood. He swept
her with
him back into the warmth of the kitchen. Servants were sleeping on the
floor
before the fire and on the benches. Hugo kicked two or three with his
booted
foot and they staggered sleepily out of his way. He pulled up two
stools and
thrust Alys down by the glowing embers.
'You're
frozen,' he said. He took her hand. Around her fingernails her fingers
were
blue with cold.
'I was
picking
herbs with the ice on them,' Alys said. 'Your father's cough is a
little
worse.'
Hugo
took her cold hands and put them between his warm palms. As the feeling
came
back into her numb fingers Alys grimaced, pulled her hands away and
shook them.
Hugo laughed softly and leaned forward to recapture them. 'I've been
out all
night,' he said. His voice was low; no wakeful servant could hear them.
'Don't
you want to know what I have been doing, Alys?'
Alys
shook her head slightly and looked away from his intent face to the
fire.
'I met
some friends who think as I do,' he said. 'One of them is the son of
landowners, a wealthy man though not noble. Another is the son of a
trader.
We're all young, we all want a share of the new world which is coming.
We are
all held back by our fathers.'
Alys
made a little movement as if she would rise. Hugo tugged her back to
the stool
with a handful of her cape. 'Listen to me,' he said softly. 'See how I
trust
you.'
Alys
turned her face away, Hugo kept his hold on her.
'One
of
my friends plans to set his father aside, have him declared insane and
take his
land and his wealth. His mother has agreed to support his claim, his
wife too.
A wicked way to treat your father, is it not, Alys?'
Alys
said nothing. Hugo saw that her face was rosy from the warmth of the
fire but
around her dark blue eyes the skin was white. He knew she was afraid.
'I
would not do that, Alys, unless I was tempted very badly,' he said.
'But my
father stands in my light -d'you see it, Alys? If it were not for his
order
that I stay here I would be in London. If it were not for his schemes
to keep
Catherine's entailed lands I would be free of her. If it were not for
his
ambition to be hidden, his passion for peace, I would be at court,
chancing my
life and my wealth for tremendous prizes. Can you see how impatient I
am,
Alys?'
Alys'
lips were pressed together. Hugo had hold of both her hands. If he had
not held
her fast she would have clapped them over her ears.
'Your
chance will come, when God wills,' she said as he waited for her to
reply. 'You
will have to be patient, my lord.'
He
leaned forward so his face was very close to hers. 'And if I am not
patient?'
he asked. 'If I am not patient and I found someone to assist me? If my
father
were ill and no one could heal him? If he died? If then I set my wife
aside? If
I were rid of my wife? Rid of my wife and looking for a woman that I
could
trust, to hold the castle for me while I was away. A woman who could
read, who
could write? A woman who would be mine, sworn to my interest, dependent
on me?
A woman who would be my ears and eyes. Like you watch and listen for my
father?'
Alys
could not move. His whisper was hypnotic, he was luring her into some
trap
which she could not foresee. 'I have to be free,' she said in a low
voice of
longing. 'Do I tempt you, Alys?' he asked softly. 'The wealth and the
power?'
He saw
her eyes darken slightly as if with desire. 'And pleasure,' he went on.
'Nights
and long days of pleasure with me?'
Alys
jerked backwards as if he had thrown cold water in her face. She pulled
her
hands free.
'I
have
to go,' she said abruptly.
He
rose
as she did and slid one hand around her waist, holding her close to
him. His
mouth came down towards her. Alys felt her head tip back, her lips open.
Then
he
released her and stepped back.
Alys
staggered a little, off balance.
'Go
now,' he said. His dark eyes were bright with mischief. 'You can go
now, Alys.
But you are learning who is your master, are you not? You cannot hide
behind my
father for much longer. I have had many wenches and I know the signs of
it. You
desire me already, though you hardly know it yet. You have taken the
bait like
a salmon in the spring flood. You may swim and swim but I shall land
you at
last. You will dream of me, Alys, you will long for me. And in the end,
you
will come to me and beg me to touch you.'
He
smiled at her white face.
'And
then I will be gentle to you,' he said. 'And I will make you all mine.
And you
will never be free again.'
Alys
turned from him and stumbled towards the kitchen door.
'You're
in very deep now,' he said softly to himself, as she pulled the door
open and
fled across the lobby to the great hall. 'You're in very deep, my Alys.'
For
twelve nights Alys lay wakeful, waiting for the dawn light to come with
winter
slowness. For twelve days she moved in a dream through her work for the
old
lord, writing what he ordered without taking in any sense of the words.
She
picked herbs for him and brewed them or pounded them according to their
potency. She sat in Lady Catherine's chamber and nodded and smiled when
they
called on her to speak.
For
twelve days she waded through a river of darkness and confusion. She
had never
longed more for the quiet certainties of Mother Hildebrande. She had
never
missed those ordered easy days more acutely. For twelve days Alys
wandered
around the castle like a ghost and when she heard a door bang, and
Hugo's merry
whistle, she found she was trembling as if she had an ague.
She
was
by the castle gate when he rode in from hunting one day, his cap lost -
blown
away on the moor - his face bright. When he saw her he vaulted from the
saddle
and tossed the reins to one of the men.
'I
have
killed you a grand dinner, Alys!' he said joyfully. 'A wild boar. They
will
stuff it and bring its head in and lay it at your feet! And you shall
eat rich
meat and dark gravy and nibble on the honeyed crackling! My Alys!'
Alys
fumbled for her basket. 'I am fasting,' she said breathlessly. 'It is
Saint
Andrew's day, my lord. I do not eat meat today.'
He
laughed carelessly, as if none of it mattered at all. 'That nonsense!'
he
exclaimed. 'Alys, Alys, don't cling to the old dead ways that mean
nothing to
anyone any more! Eat fish when you want to! Eat meat when you are
hungry! Don't
let me ride out all day, and chasing a wild boar too, and then turn
your face
away from me and tell me you won't dine with me!'
Alys
could feel her hands trembling. She held the basket tighter. 'You must
excuse
me,' she said. 'I. ..'
There
was a shout from behind them as someone drove a cart through the narrow
gateway. Hugo pressed forward, his hands either side of Alys' head. She
shrank
back against the wall and then felt him, deliberately, lean his warm
body
against her. Her stomacher was like armour, her gable hood like a
helmet. But
when Hugo pressed against her she felt the heat of his body through her
clothes. She smelled the clean, fresh smell of his linen, the sharp
tang of his
sweat. His knee pressing against her legs, the brush of his thick
padded
codpiece against her thigh, was as intimate as if they were naked and
alone
together.
'Don't
you long for a taste of it, Alys?' he asked, his voice very soft in her
ear.
'Don't you dream what it would taste like? All these forbidden good
things?
Can't I teach you, can't I teach you, Alys, to break some rules? To
break some
rules and taste some pleasure, now, while you are young and desirable
and hot?'
And
Alys, in the shadow of the doorway, with the warmth of him all around
her and
the whisper of his male temptation in her ear, turned her face up
towards him
and closed her eyes and knew her desire.
As
lightly as a flicker of candleflame he brushed his lips against her
open mouth,
raised his head and looked down into her tranced face with his smiling
dark
eyes.
'I
sleep alone these nights,' he said softly. 'You know my room, in the
round
tower, above my father's chamber. Any night you please, Alys, leave my
father,
climb higher up the tower instead of running to be with those silly
women.
Climb higher up the tower and I will give you more than a kiss in a
gateway,
more than a taste. More than you can dream of.' Alys opened her eyes,
hazy with
desire. Hugo smiled at her. His wicked, careless smile. 'Shall you come
tonight?' he asked. 'Shall I light a fire and warm the wine and wait
for you?'
'Yes,' she said.
He
nodded as if they had struck an agreeable bargain at last; then he was
gone.
That
night Alys ate the wild boar when they brought it to the women's table.
Hugo
glanced behind him and she saw his secret smile. She knew then that she
was
lost. That neither the herbs nor the old lord's warning to Hugo would
stop him.
And that no power of will could stop her. 'What's the matter with you,
Alys?'
Eliza asked with rough good nature. 'You're as white as a sheet, you
haven't
eaten your dinner for nigh on two weeks, you're awake every morning
before
anyone else and all day today you've been deaf.' 'I am sick,' Alys
said, her
voice sharp. Bitter. Eliza laughed. 'Better cure yourself then,' she
said. 'Not
much of a wise woman if you can't cure yourself!'
Alys
nodded. 'I shall,' she said, as if she had come to a decision at last.
'I shall
cure myself.'
On
that
night, when Alys felt her skin burn in the moonlight and she knew the
moon
would be lighting the path to Hugo's room through twenty silver
arrow-slits,
and that he would be lying naked in his bed, waiting and yet not
waiting for
her, she rose and went to Lady Catherine's gallery where there was a
box of new
wax candles. Alys took three, wrapped them in a cloth, tied the bundle
tight
and sealed the string. The next morning she sent it by one of the
castle
carters to Morach's cottage, telling him it was a Christmas gift for
the old
lady. She sent no message - there was no need.
On the
eve of the Christmas feast one of the kitchen wenches climbed the stone
steps
to the round tower to tell Alys that there was an old woman asking for
her at
the market gate. Alys dipped a curtsey to the old lord and asked him if
she
might go and meet Morach.
'Aye,'
he said. He was short of breath, it was one of his bad days. He was
wrapped in
a thick cloak by a blazing fire and yet he could feel no warmth. 'Come
back
quickly,' he said.
Alys
threw her black cloak around her and slipped like a shadow down the
stairs. The
guardroom was empty except for one half-dozing soldier. Alys walked
through the
great hall past half a dozen men who were sprawled on the benches,
sleeping off
their dinner-time ale, through the servers' lobby to the kitchen.
The
fires were burning, there was the smell of roasting meat and game hung
too
long. The floor had been swept after the midday meal and piles of
bloodstained
sawdust stood in the corner, waiting to be taken out. The cooks ate
well after
the hall had been served, the kitchen staff had emptied the jugs of
wine and
dozed now in corners. Only the kitchen boy, stripped down to his
shorts,
monotonously turning the handle of the spit roasting the meat for
supper,
stared at Alys as she walked through, her skirts lifted clear of the
muck.
She
walked out of the kitchen door and through the kitchen garden. The neat
salad
beds ran along one side of the path, the herbs were planted on the
other, all
edged with box-hedging. At the tower which guarded the inner ward the
guards
let her through with a ribald comment to her back, but they did not
touch her.
She was well known to be under the old lord's protection. She walked
across the
bridge which spanned the great ditch of stagnant murky water and then
across
the outer ward where the little farmyard slept in the pale afternoon
sunshine
and a blackbird sang loudly in one of the apple trees. There were hives
and
pigsties, hens roaming and pecking, a dozen goats and a couple of cows,
one
with a weaned calf. There were sheds for storing vegetables and hay,
there was
a barn. There were a number of tumbledown half-ruined farm buildings.
Alys knew
from her work for Lord Hugh that they would never be repaired. It was
too
costly to run a complete farm inside the castle walls. And anyway, in
these
days, there was no threat to the peace of the land. Scotland's army
never came
this far south and the moss troopers threatened travellers on lonely
roads, not
secure farms, not the great Lord Hugh himself.
Alys
walked through the farmyard area towards the great gate where the
portcullis
hung like a threat and the drawbridge spanned the dark waters of the
outer
moat. The gate was shut but there was a little door cut into the
massive
timbers. There were only two soldiers on duty, but an officer watched
them from
the open door of the guardroom. The country might be at peace but the
young
lord was never careless of the safety of the castle, and the soldiers
were
expected to give him value for money. One of the guards swung the door
open for
Alys and she bent her head and stepped out into a sudden blaze of
winter
sunshine. As the shadow of the castle lifted from her, Alys felt free.
Morach
was waiting for her, dirtier and more stooped than ever. She looked
even
smaller against the might of the castle than at her own fireside.
'I
brought them,' she said, without a word of greeting. 'What made you
change your
mind?'
Alys
slipped her hand through Morach's arm and walked her away from the
castle. The
market stalls were set out along the main street of the town, selling
fruits,
vegetables, meat, fish, eggs and the great pale cheeses from the
Cotherstone
dairies. Half a dozen travelling pedlars had set out their stalls with
fancy
goods, ribbons, even pewterware for sale, and they shouted to
passers-by to buy
a Christmas fairing for their sweethearts, for their wives. Alys saw
David
walking among the produce stalls, pointing and claiming the very best
of the
goods and nodding to a servant behind him to pay cash. He bought very
little.
He preferred to order goods direct from the farms inside the manors
which
belonged to the castle. Those farmers could not set their own prices,
and
anything the lord required could be ordered as part of the lord's dues.
She
drew
Morach away, past the stalls and the chattering women, down the hill,
and they
sat on a drystone wall which marked the edge of someone's pasture and
looked
down the valley to the river which foamed over the rocks at the foot of
the
castle cliff.
'You're
getting prettier,' Morach said, without approval. She patted Alys' face
with
one dirty hand. 'You don't suit black,' she said. 'But that hood makes
you look
like a woman, not a child.' Alys nodded.
'And
you're clean,' Morach said. 'You look like a lady. You're plumper
around the
face, you look well.' She leaned back to complete her inspection. 'Your
breasts
are getting bigger and your face finer. New gown.'
Alys
nodded again.
'Too
pretty,' Morach said shrewdly. 'Too pretty to disappear, even in a navy
gown
and a gable hood the size of a house. Has the tisane worn off? Or is it
that
your looks fetch him despite it?'
'I
don't know,' Alys said. 'I think he speaks to me for mere devilry. He
knew I
did not want him and he knows his wife watches me like a barn owl
watches a
mouse. He is playing with me for his sport. He takes his lust
elsewhere. But
the devil in him makes him play with me.'
Morach
shrugged. 'There's nothing you can take to stop that,' she said. 'Lust
you can
sometimes divert, but not cruelty or play!' She shrugged. 'He'll take
his sport
where he wishes,' she concluded. 'You will have to suffer it.'
'It's
not just him,' Alys said. 'That icy shrew his wife says she'll give me
a dowry
and have me wed. I thought it was just a warning to stay clear of her
damned
husband, but one of her women, Eliza, is wife to a soldier and she said
that
Lady Catherine has told one of the officers that she's looking for a
husband
for me.'
'It
can't be done unless the old lord consents,' Morach said, thinking
aloud.
'No,'
Alys agreed. 'But if the soldier is told that we are as good as
betrothed, and
Lady Catherine pays over a dowry, and then sees that we are alone
together ...'
Morach
nodded. 'Then you're raped, and maybe pregnant or poxed, and you've
lost the
game,' she concluded with a grim smile. 'No return to an abbey for you
with a
belly on you or pox-scabs on your pretty face.'
'There's
worse,' Alys said miserably. 'He talks to me of his plans and his
ambitions, he
tempts me to join his cause. He is seducing me while I watch him.' 'For
desire?' Morach asked.
'I
don't know!' Alys burst out. 'For desire or devilry, or worse.' 'Worse?'
Alys
leaned forward and spoke in Morach's ear. 'What if he wants me in his
power to
suborn me against the old lord?' she whispered. 'What if he wants me to
spy on
the old lord, to copy his letters? What if he takes me as a pawn in his
game to
play against the old lord?'
Morach
shrugged. 'Can't you tell him "no"?' she asked.
'Tell
the old lord what he's doing and claim his protection?'
Alys
met Morach's look with a fierce glare. Morach scanned her pale,
strained face,
and her eyes which were filled with a new expression, a kind of hunger.
'Why,
he has caught you and you are ready to own it at last!' she said with
sudden
insight. She burst into a cackle of laughter. 'You're hot for him! My
little
nun! You're dragging yourself into hell with desire for him! Your Lady
couldn't
protect you from the heat between your legs then! Your God has no cure
for that
after all!' Alys nodded grimly. 'I desire him,' she said bitterly. 'I
know I do
now. I feared that I would when I came to you for the herbs. But I
thought if I
could keep the thought away then I could keep myself safe. Then I
thought I was
sick of some illness, I was burning up with heat, I could not sleep, I
could
not eat. When I see him I feel as if I shall faint. If I do not see him
I feel
sick to my very soul with longing for him. I am trapped, Morach. Damn
him - he
has caught me.'
Morach
whistled softly as if she would summon a storm. 'Have him then,' she
said
simply. 'It should cure your heat. That's what they always say. Take
him like
you would take a bottle of wine, drink yourself sick of him and then
never
touch him again. I can show you a way to have him and not get with
child. Have
him and satisfy your hunger. Why not?'
'Because
I am a bride of Christ,' Alys said through her teeth. 'I cannot taste
him and
gamble that once or twice or even a hundred times will be enough. I am
a nun. I
should not even be in the world and this is the reason. I should not be
able to
look on a man. And now I have looked, and seen him, and I want him more
than my
life itself. But I am still the bride of Christ and Hugo must leave me
alone.
You forget very easily, Morach. You forget my vows. But I do not!'
Morach
shrugged, unrepentant. 'Then what will you do?'
'I
dare
not trust him, and I fear the jealousy of his wife,' Alys said. 'I have
to find
a way to have some power in this net they all weave. I am ensnared
every way I
turn and they play with me - each one of them -as if I were a village
simpleton.' Morach nodded.
'They
use me,' Alys went on in a low, resentful undertone. 'The old lord has
me as
his only friend and real ally. He tells me he owns me outright, he has
me
trapped, afraid of a charge of heresy, afraid of being exposed as a
nun. The
young lord wants to ensnare me as a pawn against his father, or else he
desires
me, or he wants to play for the cruelty of it. And Lady Catherine will
throw me
to a rapist to punish me for taking the old lord's trust and the young
lord's
eye. I must have some power in this, Morach. I am like an unweaned babe
among
wolves.'
Morach
nodded. 'You need woman's power, as I did,' she said. 'Your Christ will
not keep
you safe. Not now. Not against real danger and the lusts of men. You
need
another power. The old power. The power of the old goddess.'
Alys
nodded. 'I've no choice,' she said. The cold air around her seemed very
still
and silent. 'I've no choice,' she said again. 'I have been driven so
far and
now I am at bay. I have to use what power I can. Give me the things.'
Morach
glanced around; the meadow was deserted, the noise of the market was
behind
them. No one was watching. She unwrapped the cloth bundle and Alys
gasped at
what she saw. They were three perfect models, three convincing
likenesses, as
good as the statues in the chapel. Lady Catherine's flowing gown and
her cold
sharp face were carved out of the wax as precise and white as a cameo.
Her
gown was opened at the front, her legs spread. Morach had scratched the
wax at
her vagina to give the illusion of hair and the vagina was a deep,
disproportionate hole made with a warm bodkin.
'They
fit!' Morach said with a harsh giggle. She showed Alys the model of the
young
Lord Hugo. She had graven his face in his hard look - the one Alys and
all the
castle dreaded. But around his eyes there was the tracery of lines from
his
ready smile. Morach had modelled him a penis as big as a codpiece. 'He
must
wish to be that size!' she sniggered.
She
took the two candlewax dolls and showed Alys how they slotted together.
'That'll turn his lust towards her,' she said with satisfaction.
'You'll be
safe when he is like this.'
The
last doll was the old lord. 'He's thinner than that now,' Alys said
sadly.
'Thinner and older looking.'
'I've
not seen him for a long time,' Morach said. 'You can shape him how you
wish -
use a warm knife for carving, and your fingers. But take care.'
Alys
looked at the three little statues with distaste. She uncoupled Lord
Hugo and
Lady Catherine and wrapped them up again. 'What care?' she asked.
'Once
you've made them your own, claimed them as models for the life, then
whatever
you do to them takes place,' Morach said softly. 'If you want the old
lord's
heart to soften, you cut into his chest, carve out a little piece of
wax, mould
it into a heart, warm it till it melts, and drip it back into the hole.
Next
morning he'll be tender as a woman with a new baby.'
Alys'
dark eyes widened. 'Is that true for all of them?' she asked. 'I could
make
Lady Catherine sick by pinching her belly? Or make the young lord
impotent by
softening his prick?'
'Yes,'
Morach gleamed. 'It's a powerful piece of business, isn't it? But you
have to
make them your own, and you have to make them represent those you mean
to
change. And - as I warned you - they can obey you too well. They can ..
.
misunderstand.'
There
was a silence in the winter meadow. Alys met Morach's eyes. 'I have to
do it,'
she said. 'I have no safety without some power.'
Morach
nodded. 'This is the spell,' she said. She put her mouth to Alys' ear
and
chanted over some nonsense words, part Latin, part Greek, part French,
and
partly mispronounced and misheard English. She said it over and over
again
until Alys nodded and said she knew it by heart.
'And
you must take something from each of them,' she said. 'Something which
is close
to them, a bit of hair, a bit of fingernail, a paring of skin, and
stick it on
the part of the doll where it came from. Little fingernail to little
finger,
hair to the head, skin to where it was cut. Then you have your doll and
your
power.' Alys nodded. 'Have you done it before?' she asked. 'No,' Morach
said
decidedly. 'There wasn't the urgency. I've had women ask me to soften
their
husband's heart but it's easier done with herbs in his dinner than a
wax
candle. I've had someone wish a man dead, but I'd never do it. The risk
is too
great. I always thought the risk was too great to make one of these.'
'Why've
you done it now?' Alys asked directly. Morach looked into her smooth
young face
and said, 'You don't know, do you? All your learning and all your
planning, and
you still are ignorant.'
Alys
hunched her shoulder. 'I don't know what you're saying.' Morach put her
dirty
hand over Alys' clean one. 'I did it for you,' she said gruffly. 'I did
it to
give you a chance, to help you gain what you want, and to save you from
rape by
a soldier or by the young lord or by both. I don't care for your dream
of a
nunnery but I do care for you. I raised you as my own daughter. I
wouldn't see
you on your back under a man who cares nothing for you.'
Alys
looked into the sharp old face. 'Thank you,' she said simply. She
looked
carefully into Morach's dark eyes. 'Thank you,' she said again.
'And
if
it goes against you,' Morach said challengingly, 'if it's found, or if
they
know they've been hexed, I want my name out of it. You tell them you
carved
this yourself, it was your own idea. That is the condition. I've made
them but
I won't take the danger of them. You tell them they are your own if you
are
ever caught. I want to die in my bed.'
The
moment of tenderness between the two women was dispelled at once.
'I
promise,' Alys said. She caught the look of suspicion on Morach's face.
'I
promise,' she said again. 'I will make you a solemn oath. If anyone
finds these
I will tell them they are my own, made by me and used by me.'
'Swear
on your honour, on your old abbess, and on your God,' Morach said
insistently.
Alys hesitated.
'Swear
you will say they are yours,' Morach demanded. 'Swear it or I'll take
them
back!'
Alys
shook her head. 'If anyone finds them I am lost anyway,' she said.
'Owning them
would be enough to see me hanged.'
Morach
nodded. 'Throw them in the moat on your way home if you've changed your
mind,'
she said. 'If you need magic there's a price to pay. There's a price
for
everything. The price for this is your oath. Swear by your God.'
Alys
looked at Morach with desperation in her face. 'Don't you see?' she
demanded.
'Don't you know? I can have no God! My Lord Christ and Our Lady have
turned
their faces away from me. I ran from them when I left the convent and I
hoped
to take them with me. But all my efforts cannot keep them by my side. I
kept
the hours of prayer while I lived with you, Morach - as far as I could
guess
the right time. But in the castle they are near to being Protestants,
heretics,
and I cannot. And so Our Lady has abandoned me. And that is why I feel
lust for
the young lord, and why I now put my hand to your black arts.' 'Lost
your God?'
Morach asked with interest. Alys nodded. 'So I cannot swear by Him. I
am far
from His grace.' She gave a harsh laugh. 'I might as well swear by
yours,' she
said.
Morach
nodded briskly. 'Do it,' she said. 'Put your hand on mine and say, "I
swear by the Black Master, by all his servants, and in the power of all
his
arts, that I will own these dolls as my own. I wanted them, I have
them, I
acknowledge them."'
Alys
shrugged and laughed her bitter laugh again -half crying. She put her
slim
white hand on Morach's and repeated the oath.
When
she had finished, Morach captured her hand, and held it. 'Now you are
his,' she
said slowly. 'You've summoned him now. You must learn the skills, Alys,
you
must know your master.'
Alys
gave a little shiver in the bright wintry sunlight. 'I am his until I
can get
back to my abbey,' she said. 'I will loan him my soul. I am damned
until I can
get back to an abbey anyway.'
Morach
gave a harsh laugh and struggled to her feet. 'Good Christmas,' she
said. 'I'm
away to collect my Christmas goods from my neighbours. They should be
generous
this year, the plague has stayed away from Bowes, and the vomiting
sickness has
passed on.'
'Good
Christmas,' Alys replied and reached in her pocket. 'Here,' she said,
offering
a silver threepenny piece. 'My lord gave me a handful of coins for
fairings.
Have this, Morach, and buy yourself a bottle of mead.'
Morach
pushed the coin away. 'I'll take nothing from you today but your oath,'
she
said. 'Nothing but your solemn oath that if they find the dolls you
claim them
as your own work.'
'I
promise!' Alys said impatiently. 'I've promised already. I've promised
by the
devil himself!'
Morach
nodded. 'That's binding then,' she said. Then she pulled her shawl over
her
head again and turned back towards the town.
They
celebrated the Christmas feast with a series of great dinners at the
castle
which started on the first day of Christmas and went on till the early
winter
darkness fell on the twelfth day. They had singers and dancers and a
troupe of
dark-skinned tumblers who could walk on their hands as well as their
feet and
whirled around the hall going from hands to feet so fast that they
looked like
some strange man-beast - an abomination. They had a man with a horse
which
could dance on its hind legs and tell fortunes by pawing out 'yes' or
'no' on
the ground.
On the
second day they brought in a bear and forced wine on her and made her
dance
around the great hall while the young men leaped and cavorted around
her
-always making sure to keep clear of those huge flailing paws. When
they were
sick of the dance they took off her mask and baited her with dogs until
three
hounds were killed. Then Hugo called a halt. Alys saw he was distressed
by the
loss of one dog, a pale brown deer-hound. The bear was still snarling
and angry
and her keeper fed her with a dish of cheat-bread soaked with honey and
some
powerful mead. She went all sleepy and foolish in minutes and he was
able to
put her mask back on and take her from the hall.
There
were some who would have liked to kill her for the sport of it when she
was
dozy and weak. Hugo, who had been excited by the danger of her and the
speed of
her sudden charges, would have allowed it but the old lord shook his
head. Alys
was standing behind his chair.
'Do
you
pity her? The great bear?' she asked. He gave his sharp laugh.
'Hardly,' he
said. 'But the keeper sells her play very dearly. If we had wanted to
kill her
it would have cost us pieces of gold!' He glanced back at Alys with his
knowing
smile. 'Always check a man's purse before you scan his heart, little
Alys. That
is where most decisions are made!'
The
next day the young men went out hunting and Hugo brought back a deer
still
alive, with its thin legs bound, so that they could release it in the
hall. It
leaped in terror on to the great trestle-tables, sliding on the
polished
surface, frantically glaring around the hall for escape, and people ran
screaming with laughter out of its way. Alys watched its shiny black
eyes
bulging with fear as they drove it from one corner to another. She saw
the
slather of white sweat darken the russet coat until they hustled it
forwards
and up to the dais so that the old lord could plunge his hunting dagger
into
its heart. The women all around her screamed with pleasure as the
brilliant red
blood pumped out. Alys watched the deer fall, its dainty black hooves
scrabbling for a foothold even as it died.
On the
morning of the twelfth day they held a little joust. David had ordered
the
castle carpenters to build a temporary tilt-yard in the fields of the
castle
farm, and a pretty tent of striped material for the old lord to sit at
his ease
and watch the riders. Catherine sat beside him, wearing a new festive
gown of
yellow, bright in the hard winter sunlight. Alys sat in her dark blue
gown on a
stool at his left hand to keep the score of hits for each rider.
Hugo
was monstrous and exciting in his armour. His left shoulder was hugely
enlarged
by a great sheet of metal forged into shape and studded with brass
nails which
terminated in a gross gauntlet. His right shoulder and arm were scaled
like a
woodlouse with overlapping plates of jointed metal so he could move
freely and
hold the lance. His chest and belly were covered by a smooth polished
breastplate, shaped to deflect any blow, and his legs were encased in
jointed
metal. He walked stiffly and awkwardly to his horse, the big roan
warhorse,
which was also plated from head to tail, only its bright, excited,
white-ringed
eyes showing through the headpiece.
'Is it
dangerous?' Alys asked Lord Hugh. He nodded, smiling. 'It can be,' he
said.
Hugo's challenger was waiting at the other end of the lists. Catherine
leaned
forward, her eyes gleaming with excitement, and dropped her yellow
handkerchief. At once the horses sprang forward and the two charged one
another. As they came closer the lances came down, and Alys shut her
eyes,
dreading the sound of lance against body. All she could hear was the
thunder of
hooves, and then the horses were still. Lord Hugh nudged her.
'No
score,' he said. 'Pair of boys.' In the second run Hugo struck his
opponent on
the body, on the third he took a blow to his shoulder, and on the
fourth his
lance hit his challenger smack in his metalled belly and threw him from
the
horse.
There
was a great yell of approval from the watching crowd and the
townspeople, who
were crowded in at the gate end of the ground, threw their caps in the
air and
shouted 'Hugo!'
Hugo
pulled his horse up and trotted back down the lists. They were bending
over the
challenger and taking his helmet off. 'Are you all right, Stewart?'
Hugo
called. 'Just winded?'
The
man
raised his hand. 'A little tap,' he said. 'But I'll let someone else
unseat
you!'
Hugo
laughed and trotted back to his place. Alys sensed his complacent smile
hidden
beneath the helmet. They jousted until the early afternoon and then
only went
in for a late dinner as the light began to fail. Hugo stripped off his
armour
at the ground floor of the tower and ran up the spiral stairs in his
shirt and
hose shouting for a bath. He was washed and dressed in his red doublet
in time
for dinner and sat at his father's right hand and drank deep. As the
lords ate,
the mummers sang and danced, and when Lord Hugo called for the bowl and
washed
his hands and was served with hippocras wine the Lords of Misrule
marched in
from the kitchen with the lowliest server at their head.
Lord
Hugh laughed and vacated his seat at the high table and took a chair at
the
fireside with Catherine standing behind him. They seated him
comfortably and
then brought a dirty apron for Hugo and ordered him to serve them all
with
wine. The women in the body of the hall shrieked with laughter and sent
the
young lord racing around the hall with one order after another. The
serving-lad
sat in the lord's chair and handed down commands and judgements. A
number of
men were outrageously accused of girls' play, and ordered to be tied
one on
another's back in a long laughing line, to see how they liked a surfeit
of it.
Several of the serving-wenches were accused of venery and taking the
man's part
in the act of lust. They had to publicly strip to their shifts and wear
breeches for the rest of the feast. A couple of soldiers were accused
of theft
while raiding in Scotland with Hugo, a couple of the cooking staff were
named
for dirtiness. A wife was accused of infidelity, a girl who worked in
the
confectioner's department of the kitchen was accused of scolding and
had to
wear a scarf tied across her mouth.
The
serving-lad giggled and pointed to one servant after another who
shrieked
against the accusation and could plead guilty or not guilty and was
judged by
the roar of the crowd.
Then
he
turned his attention to the gentry. Two of the young noble servers were
accused
of idleness and ordered to stand on their stools and sing a carol as
punishment. One of Lord Hugh's cousins was accused of gluttony -
sneaking into
the kitchen after dinner begging for marchpane. Hugo's favourite, a
young lad
who was always in the guardroom talking warfare with the officers, was
named a
seeker of favours, a courtier, and had his head blackened with soot
from the
fireplace.
People
laughed even more and the serving-lad grew bolder. Someone cast Lord
Hugh's
purple cape around his shoulders and he stood on the seat of the carved
chair,
jigging from one foot to the other, and pointed his finger at Hugo who
was
clowning around at the back of the hall with a tray and a jug of wine.
'Lust,'
he said solemnly. The hall rocked with laughter. 'Venery,' he said
again. 'I
shall name the women you have been with.'
There
were screams of laughter, and around Alys at the women's table a
nervous ripple
of discomfort. The serving-lad was lord of the feast, he could say
anything
without any threat of punishment. He might name any one of them as
Hugo's
lover. And Catherine would not be likely to forget, nor pass off the
accusation
as the fun of the feast.
'How
shall you remember them all?' someone yelled from the back of the hall.
'It has
been more than three hundred days since last year! That is at least a
thousand
women!'
Hugo
grinned, postured, throwing back the apron to show his embroidered
codpiece,
thrusting his hips forward while the girls screamed with laughter.
'It's true,'
he said. 'More like two thousand.'
'I
shall name the women he has not had,' the serving-lad said quickly. 'To
save
time.'
There
were screams of laughter at that. Hugo bowed. Even the old lord at the
fireplace
chuckled. The hall fell silent, waiting to hear what the lad would say
to cap
the jest.
'There
is only one woman he has not had,' the lad said, milking the joke. He
swung
around and pointed to Catherine where she stood beside the old lord at
the fireside.
'His wife! His wife! Lady Catherine!'
The
hall was in uproar, people were screaming with laughter. Catherine's
women,
still in their seats at the table on the dais, clapped their hands over
their
mouths to smother their laughter. Hugo bowed penitently, even the old
lord was
laughing. Soldiers clung to each other and the serving-lad took off
Lord Hugh's
purple jewelled cap and flung it in the air and caught it to celebrate
his wit.
Only Catherine stood, white with anger, unsmiling.
'Now
the old lord!' someone yelled. 'What has he done?'
The
serving-lad pointed solemnly at Lord Hugh. 'You are very, very guilty,
and you
become guiltier every year,' he said. Lord Hugh chuckled and waited for
more.
'And every year, though you do less, you are the more guilty,' the
serving-lad
said.
'A
riddle!' someone yelled. 'A riddle! What is his crime?'
'What
is my crime?' Hugh asked. 'That I do less and less every year and am
more and
more guilty?'
'You
grow old!' the serving-lad yelled triumphantly. There was a great roar
of
scandalized laughter led by Lord Hugh. He shook his fist at the lad. 'I
had
best not see you tomorrow,' he shouted. 'Then you shall see how old my
broadsword is!'
The
serving-lad danced on the chair and knocked his skinny knees together,
miming
terror. 'And now!' he yelled. 'I order dancing!'
He
slid
from the cape and left the cap on the great chair and led out the
dirtiest,
lowliest slut from the kitchen to take his hand at the head of the set.
Other
people, still chuckling, fell in behind them. Alys leaned towards Eliza.
'D'you
see her face?' she said softly. Eliza nodded. 'He's worse than last
year,' she
said. 'And he was impertinent enough then. But it's a tradition and it
does no
harm. The old lord loves the old ways and Hugo doesn't care. They
always make a
butt of Catherine; she's not well liked and they love Hugo.'
One of
the mummers came to the ladies' table and laid rough hands on Ruth. She
gave a
soft shriek of refusal but he dragged her to the floor.
'Here's
sport!' Eliza said joyfully, and chased after Ruth to find a partner
for
herself. Alys went down the hall like a shadow in her navy gown to
stand behind
Lord Hugh and walk with him back to his chair on the dais.
'Not
dancing, Alys?' he asked her over the loud minor chords of the music
and the
thump of the drum. 'No,' she said shortly.
He
nodded. 'Stand behind my chair and no one will call you out,' he said.
'It's
rough sport but I love to watch it. And Hugo - ' he broke off. Further
down the
hall Hugo was on his knees to a serving-wench, half hidden behind a
mask of a
duck's head. Catherine, unwilling, her face set and pale, was dancing
in a set
partnered by one of the young knights. 'Hugo is a rogue,' the old lord
said. 'I
should have matched him to a girl with fire in her belly.'
They
danced all afternoon and well into the night. A lad stood and sang a
madrigal
very sweetly, a gypsy girl came into the hall and danced a wild strange
dance
with clackers made of wood in her hand, then to a roar of applause the
servers
came from the kitchen and processed around the hall with the roast
meats and
set them down on the high table and in messes - four persons to a
platter - at
all the other tables. It was their final dish of the feast and grander
even
than all that had gone before. There was swan from the river, roasted
and
refeathered so that it was as white and complete as a live bird, head
rearing
up from the serving dish. At the other end of the top table there was a
peacock
with its tail feathers nodding. The lower tables had cuts of roast
goose,
turkey, capons, wild duck. Everyone had the best bread at this feast -
manchet,
a good white bread with a thick golden crust and a dense white crumb.
The lords
ate with unceasing
appetite; Catherine
beside them wiped
her plate with her bread and took another slice of
wild swan, though her face was still set and angry.
The
jugs of wine came in, and one dish followed after another. Alys,
rocking with
weariness, ate little but drank the sharp red wine, cool from the
barrels in
the cellar. It was midnight when the sweetmeats finally came in, two
for the
top table. A perfect marchpane copy of the castle with Lord Hugh's flag
fluttering over the round tower was put before the old lord. The women
got up
from the side table to see it and crowded around.
'Too
pretty to cut,' Eliza said admiringly. Before Hugo they placed a little
model
of a country house set square on a terrace with little sugar deer in a
park all
around it.
'My
plans for the new house!' Hugo exclaimed. 'Damn those servants, they
know
everything before I know it myself. Here, Sir, see what they have done!'
Lord
Hugh smiled. 'Now you can see the two side by side,' he said. 'I know
where I
would rather live!'
Hugo
bowed his head, too full of wine and dinner to quarrel with his father.
'I know
your preferences, Sir,' he said respectfully. 'But it's a pretty fancy
of
mine.' Hugh nodded. 'Can you bear to eat it?' he asked. Hugo laughed
and took
his knife up in reply. 'Who will have a slice of my house?' he asked.
'My
pretty little house which I have drawn in an idle moment and then found
these
kitchen hounds stealing my papers and copying my dreams into sugar?' 'I
will!'
Eliza said invitingly. Hugo threw her a smile.
'You
would have a slice of anything of mine, Eliza,' he said. 'You would beg
for a
lick, would you not?'
Eliza
gave a little scream of protesting laughter. Hugo smiled at her and
then
switched the heat of his look to Alys. 'Alys?' he asked. 'Will you
taste my
pretty toy?'
She
shook
her head and slid back to the women's table at the rear of the dais.
When the
others came back with their trenchers Eliza set a piece of the
marchpane house
before her.
'From
him,' she said, nodding at the back of Hugo's chair. 'He served it for
you
under the nose of his wife. He has given you the front door. By -
you're
playing a dangerous game, Alys.'
When
the eating was done, and there was nothing on the tables but the voider
course
of dried fruit and hippocras wine, David stood behind the lord's chair
and
called one man after another up to the dais for Lord Hugh to give him a
gift or
a purse of coins. Hugo sat at his father's right hand, occasionally
leaning
forward with a word. Lady Catherine sat on Lord Hugh's left, smiling
her
meaningless, small smile. She had given and received her gifts with her
women
on New Year's Day and she had nothing for any of the castle servants
nor for
the soldiers. The line of servants and soldiers went on and on. There
were a
round four hundred of them. Alys, at the women's table at the rear of
the dais,
unable to see, dozed after the revelry of the Christmas days and the
sleepless
fortnight which preceded them.
'It's
dull this,' Eliza whispered mutinously to her. 'Everywhere else does
gifts on
New Year's Day. It's only Lord Hugh who is too mean to gather everyone
for a
feast twice in the bad season!' Alys nodded, uncaring.
'Let's
have another jug of wine!' Eliza suggested. She flapped her hand at a
passing
serving-wench. Margery frowned. 'You'll get drunk,' she said.
'I
don't care!' Eliza said. 'It's the last day of the feast. She won't
want us
tonight. She'll dress in her best nightgown and lie wakeful all night
in her
chamber in case the wine has roused Hugo's lust.' 'Hush,' Ruth said
with her
usual caution. Eliza giggled and poured from the new jug. 'Maybe his
Christmas
gift to her is a decent tupping at last,' she whispered.
Margery
and Mistress Allingham collapsed into scandalized laughter. Ruth shot
an
apprehensive backwards look at their mistress. Alys sipped from her
glass. She
liked the smell of wine. They had set glassware on the women's table
today in
honour of the feast and Alys liked the feel of the cool glass against
her lips.
At Morach's she had drunk from earthenware or horn, and in the castle
she drank
from pewter. She had not had the touch of glass against her lips since
the
nunnery. This wine tasted of itself, without a tang of ill-cleaned
metal, the
glassware was light and thin, appetizing. Alys sipped again. The
drunkenness
and the barbarity of the feast days had floated past her. No one had
snatched
her in a dark corner and tried for a kiss, she had danced with no one.
The old
lord watched for her, and when a soldier approached her for a dance,
the old
lord scowled at him and David waved him away. Lady Catherine smiled her
thin
smile at that and leaned back towards the women's table.
'In
the
spring we will dance at your wedding, Alys,' she said, her voice
acid-sweet.
She glanced towards the young man who had gone back to his place. 'That
was
Peter - a bastard son of one of Lord Hugo's officers. He is the one I
have
chosen for you. Don't you think I have chosen well?'
Alys
looked down the hall towards him. He was well enough, slim,
brown-haired,
brown-eyed, young. She had seen him stab a knife into a dying dog at
the
bear-baiting. She had seen him screaming with excitement at the
cock-fighting.
She thought of what her life would be like as his wife, bound forever
to a man
with that perilous streak of excitement at the sight of pain.
'Very
well, my lady,' she said. She smiled deceitfully into Lady Catherine's
face.
'He seems a fine man. Has his father told him?'
'Yes,'
Lady Catherine said. 'We must persuade the old lord to find a proper
clerk to
replace you, and then you can be married. Maybe at Easter.'
'Very
well,' Alys said softly and lowered her eyes to her plate so that Lady
Catherine could not see the gleam of absolute refusal.
Alys
sipped her wine again. All through the days of feasting and the nights
of
drunken games she had felt the young lord watching her. Lady Catherine
watched
her too. Alys rested the cold glass against her cheek. She had to break
the
net, the net that the three of them, the old lord, the young lord and
the
shrew, had all cast around her. She had to take her power, she had to
make the
little dolls come alive and dance to her bidding.
Above
the table - as it was Christmas - the waiting-women had pure wax
candles in the
candelabra. On the table was a silver candle-holder with pale,
honey-coloured candles.
Alys watched the bobbing yellow flame and the pure transparency of the
wax.
There was the slightest hint of sweetness in the vapour. These were
pure
beeswax candles. A memory flickered to the surface of Alys' mind and
she winced
as she realized that the candles would have been made by the nuns at
the abbey
with beeswax from the abbey hives.
Eliza
poured more wine in her glass and she drank again.
In her
purse tied on the girdle at her waist were the three candlewax dolls.
They
knocked against her gently when she moved. Alys had been tempted to
fling them
from her window down the steep side of the castle to smash against the
rocks
and tumble into the river below. It was death to be found carrying them
and she
was too afraid to hide them anywhere in the castle. She had not yet
found the
courage, or the desperation, to use them. She held to them like a
talisman,
like a final weapon which would be ready to her hand if their time ever
came.
The
tart cool taste of the clary wine flooded into her mouth and washed
through
her. I must be
getting drunk, Alys
thought to herself. All the voices seemed to come from a long way away,
the
faces around the table seemed to flicker in a haze. 'I wish ...' Alys
said thickly.
Eliza and Margery nudged each other and giggled. 'I wish I was Lady
Catherine,'
Alys slurred. Ruth, the quiet one, glanced behind her to see that the
two
lords, watched by Lady Catherine, were still paying out gifts. 'Why?'
she
asked.
'Because
. .. ' Alys said slowly. 'Because ... ' she stopped again. 'I should
like to
have a horse of my own,' she said simply. 'And a gown which was a new
gown -
not belonging to someone else. And a man .. .'
Eliza
and Margery exploded with laughter. Even Ruth and Mistress Allingham
tittered
behind their hands.
'A man
who left me alone,' Alys said slowly. 'A man who was bound to me and
wed to me,
but a man who would leave me alone.'
'Not
much of a wife you'll make!' Eliza said laughing. 'Poor Peter will get
short
commons I reckon.'
Alys
had not heard her. 'I want more than ordinary women,' she said
sorrowfully. 'I
want so much more.'
All
the
women were laughing openly now. Alys, with her heavy gable hood sliding
back
off her mop-head of curls and her serious pale face, was exquisitely
funny. Her
deep blue eyes were staring unfocused at the candles. The young Lord
Hugo, who
now carried an awareness of Alys like a sixth sense, glanced back and
took in
the scene with one quick look.
'Your
young clerk seems the worse for her wine,' he said softly to his father.
The
old
lord glanced back. David demanded his attention for another of the
soldiers
coming up for his gift.
'Get
them to take her to her room,' he said briefly to the young lord.
'Before she
pukes on her gown and shames herself.'
Hugo
nodded and pushed his chair back from the table. Lady Catherine had not
heard
the soft-voiced exchange and glanced up in surprise. 'My father has an
errand
for me, I'll only be a moment,' he said softly to her, and then he
turned
towards the women. 'Come, Alys,' he said firmly.
Alys
looked up. Against the candlelight of the hall his face was shadowed.
She could
see the gleam of his smile. There was a ripple among the women like a
flurry in
a hen-coop when a fox gets in the door.
'I'll
escort you to my lady's rooms,' he said firmly. 'You,' he nodded at
Eliza.
'Come too.'
Alys
got slowly to her feet. Magically the floor beneath her rolled and
melted away.
Lord Hugo caught her as she swayed forward and lifted her up. He nodded
at
Eliza who drew back the tapestry and opened the little door at the back
of the
dais. They stepped out into the lobby behind the hall, and up the
shallow stone
steps to Lady Catherine's rooms above. Eliza flung the door wide and
Hugo
strode into the gallery carrying Alys.
'I'll
give you a shilling to keep watch here and hold your tongue,' he said
briefly
to Eliza.
Her
brown eyes were as large as saucers. 'Yes, my lord,' she said.
'And
if
you gossip I shall have you whipped,' he said pleasantly. Eliza felt
her knees
melt at his smile.
'I
swear it, my lord,' she said fervently. 'I'd do anything for you.'
He
nodded to her to open the door to the women's chamber and she scuttled
ahead of
him and swung it open. He walked the length of the gallery carrying
Alys
easily. She opened her eyes and saw the moonlight from the window
briefly
illuminate his face and then they were in shadow again. He pushed open
the door
to the women's room and laid Alys down on a pallet.
Without
any haste, he pulled the pins from her hood and tossed it to one side.
Alys
fell back on the pillow, her face pale, her eyes closed. 'I feel sick,'
she
said.
He
rolled her to her side, skilfully unlacing her stomacher and the gown
below it,
so that when he rolled her on her back and lifted her legs and then her
body to
pull the gown over her head she was stripped down to her shift. Alys
dropped
back on the pallet, her arms above her head, her golden hair a tangle
about her
face. Lord Hugo sat back on his heels and scanned her, from her small
dirty feet
to her outflung hand. Alys snored lightly.
Lord
Hugo pulled down his breeches with a little sigh and moved to cover her.
Alys'
dark eyes flew open as she felt the weight of him come down upon her
and he
readied himself to put a hand over her mouth to still her protesting
scream;
but her eyes, out of focus and hazy, were warm with welcome and she
smiled.
'Hello,
my love,' she said, as easily as if they had been wed for twenty years.
'Not
now, I am too sleepy. Love me in the morning.'
'Alys?'
She
chuckled, the warm, confident sound of a woman who knows she is deeply
beloved.
'Not now, I said,' she repeated. 'I am tired out with your wants, and
your
son's wants. Let me sleep.' Her eyelids flickered shut and Hugo watched
the
lashes sweep her cheek. 'Do you know me?' he asked in confusion. Alys
smiled.
'None better,' she said. She rolled on her side away from him and put
her hand
back towards him. In a gesture so familiar as to be unconscious, she
felt for
his hand and then pulled his arm around her and tucked his hand between
the
warm comfort of her thighs. Hugo, following the demanding tug of her
small
hands, snuggled up so that his body was cupped around hers. He could
feel a
deep ache of desire that he would normally have satisfied quickly and
roughly
on a woman whether she consented or not. But something about Alys'
drunken
dream made him pause.
'How
old are you, Alys?' he asked. 'What year is it?' 'I'm near eighteen,'
she said
sleepily. 'It's 1538. What year did you think it was?'
Hugo
said nothing, his mind whirling. Alys was dreaming of the future two
years
ahead. 'How is my father?' he asked.
'Dead,
nigh on twelve months ago,' Alys replied sleepily. 'Go to sleep, Hugo.'
Her
casual use of his christian name brought him up short. 'What of Lady
Catherine?' he asked.
'Oh
hush!' Alys said. 'No one is to blame. She's at peace at last. And we
have all
her lands for little Hugo. Go to sleep now.'
'I
have
a son?' Hugo demanded. Alys sighed and turned away. Hugo, raising
himself up on
his elbow, looked down on her face and saw that she was deeply asleep.
Gently
he pulled his hand away from between her legs and saw a little flicker
of
regret cross her face. Then she turned deeper into the pillow and slept
again.
He sat
up on the pallet and put his head in his hands, trying to think soberly
enough
to understand. Either Alys was drunk beyond belief, dreaming some
girl's
fantasy of him; or the wine had released in her some of her magic and
she had
spoken true. In two years' time he would be the Lord of Castleton,
Catherine
would be gone and Alys would be his woman and the mother of his child.
He
leaned forward and stirred up the fire so the light flickered in the
little
room. Alys' clear, lovely profile gleamed in the half-light.
'What
a
son we would have!' he said softly. 'What a son!'
He
thought of the confident way she had tucked his hand between her legs,
and her
lazy command of loving in the morning, and he felt himself ache with
desire
again. For a moment he thought of taking her while she slept, without
her
consent; but then he paused.
For
the
first time in his life Hugo paused before taking his pleasure. She had
given
him a glimpse of a future which was luminous with satisfactions. She
had given
him a glimpse of a woman who was his equal, who desired him as he
desired her.
A woman who would plot and scheme alongside him, who had given him a
son, and
would give him more. He wanted Alys' dream. He wanted that intimacy, he
wanted
to be on tender terms with her. More than anything else: he wanted her
to give
him a son.
He
chuckled softly in the quietness of the room. He wanted her to call him
Hugo,
he wanted her to command his loving. He wanted to see her tired with
the
demands of his son, tired by his lust. Incredulously he looked towards
her
again. He would do nothing to spoil that promise between them, he
thought. He
would not force her, he would not frighten her. He wanted her as she
was in
that glimpse of the future: confident, sensual, amused. A woman of
power, confident
of her own power to command him, to rule her own life.
He
threw a rug over her and she did not stir. He leaned over and gently
put a kiss
on the smooth curve of her neck, just below her ear. The smell of her
skin
stirred him again. He chuckled. 'My Lady Alys,' he said softly. Then he
got to
his feet and walked out of the room.
Eliza
was hovering at the doorway, her round face bright with excitement.
'All
quiet, my lord,' she said. 'Aren't you having her? Don't you want her
now?'
Lord
Hugo shot a quick look down the steps to the great chamber beneath
them. 'Lift
your skirts,' he said tersely. Eliza's mouth made a little round 'oh'
of
surprise. 'My lord ... ' she said in a delighted half-protest. He took
her gown
in one hard hand and wrenched it up to her waist. He backed her against
the
stone wall and rammed himself into her. Eliza screamed with the sharp
pain of
it and he at once clapped a hand over her mouth and hissed, 'Fool!
D'you want
half the castle here?'
Above
his hand Eliza's eyes bulged at him imploringly. He thrust into her
three, four
times, and then he froze, his eyes tight shut, his mouth grim in a
spasm of
release which felt like anger.
Eliza
gasped with discomfort as he released her, and staggered to one side,
holding
her bruised throat and mopping her gown against her crutch. Hugo
reached into
his pocket and threw her a couple of silver coins. 'You'll keep quiet
about
that too,' he said. He turned his back on her and sauntered across the
gallery
and down the steps to the great hall.
She
went to the doorway and watched him go down the stairs and pause in the
lobby,
straightening his clothes, and then she saw his shoulders go back and
his smile
appear as he opened the door to the dais and went back to sit with his
father and
his wife.
'God
curse you, Hugo,' she said under her breath. She flinched with
discomfort and
turned towards the women's room. 'A new gown half ruined, half
strangled, and
tupped for a shilling,' she said miserably to herself. She hunkered
down on her
pallet and looked across at Alys who lay, still sleeping, as Hugo had
left her.
'And
all because that damned jade hexed you into losing your manhood with
her,' she
muttered grimly. 'I saw you, you poxy bastard. I saw you lie beside her
and
stick your finger in and dare do no more while she muttered spells
against you
and all your family. And then you stick your cock in me! Damn you,' she
grumbled, stripping off her gown and pulling a rug over herself.
'Pox-ridden
bastard.'
Alys
turned over in her sleep, her hand stretched out, seeking him. 'My
love,' she
said very softly.
Alys
was sick the next day, heavy-eyed, white-faced, poisoned with the wine.
She
would eat nothing and would drink only water. Indeed, the whole castle,
from
Hugo down to the poorest scullion, had drunk better than they had drunk
all
year and were paying the price.
It was
not until after dinner that any of the women felt better. Then Lady
Catherine
commanded them to sit in the gallery and sew while she spun. Alys was
ordered
to read aloud from a story book.
Alys,
nauseous and with her head throbbing, read until the badly printed
words danced
before her eyes. They were love stories, tales of ladies in castles and
knights
who worshipped them. Alys let her mind wander as she read the romance -
life
was not like these stories, she knew.
'Lord
Hugo carried you up the stairs last night?' Lady Catherine's arid voice
cut
into the reading. Alys blinked. 'Carried you all the way to your room,
did he?'
'I am sorry, my lady,' Alys said. 'I cannot remember. I was faint and I
did not
know what I did.'
'Did
he
carry her?' Lady Catherine turned to Eliza. 'Yes,' Eliza said baldly.
She ached
inside this morning and she blamed Alys that Hugo's lust had soured
into
violence.
'Into
your room?' Lady Catherine asked. 'Yes,' Eliza said again.
'You
were with them?' Lady Catherine confirmed. Eliza hesitated. She would
have
given much to have her revenge on Hugo by telling that he had ordered
her to
stay outside. But the risks were too great. The young lord's anger was
swift
and unpredictable, and she had stains on her gown and two silver
sixpences
which would support an accusation against her.
'Yes,'
she said. 'He tossed her down on her pallet and told me to watch her
and make
sure she did not vomit and lie in it like a dog.' Alys' pale skin
flushed
crimson. 'How disagreeable for him,' Lady Catherine said in mild
triumph. 'I
think you had better drink ale in future, Alys.'
'I
think so too, my lady,' Alys said quietly. 'I am very sorry.' Lady
Catherine
nodded with a glacial smile and stood while Mistress Allingham moved
the
spinning wheel for her into a patch of winter sunshine which fell on
the wooden
floor, brightly coloured from the stained glass of the oriel window.
'Did
he
do that?' Alys whispered urgently to Eliza. 'Did he throw me down?'
'He
lay
beside you,' Eliza said spitefully. 'I've saved your skin with my lady
by not
telling. He gave me two silver sixpences to keep watch. I stood guard
at the
door while he tossed you down on your pallet and stripped you and lay
beside
you and stuck his finger in you.'
Alys
went white and looked as if she might fall. 'It's not possible,' she
said.
'It
happened,' Eliza said harshly. 'I saw him do it.' 'But I feel nothing,'
Alys
said.
'What
are you girls whispering about?' Lady Catherine interrupted.
'About
the colour of the silk, Lady Catherine,' Eliza said at once. 'I think
it is too
bright. Alys wants to keep it as it is.'
Eliza
lifted up the tapestry which Alys had painstakingly stitched in the
previous
week and Lady Catherine considered it with her head on one side. 'Rip
it out,'
she said. 'You are right, Eliza, it needs to be a paler colour, anyone
could
see that. Alys will have to stop reading and rip it back and do it all
again.'
Alys
picked up a pair of silver scissors and started snipping at the cloth,
the work
of seven days to be done all over again. Eliza bent over it.
'It
didn't hurt because you wanted it,' she whispered. 'You let him take
your gown
off and you took his hand and guided it in, just like any slut! And
after all
you've said about not wanting to go with a man.'
Alys
felt her world shift and heave. 'It's not possible,' she said.
Eliza
shrugged. 'Don't you remember anything?' Alys closed her eyes. Vaguely,
like a
dream, she could remember a sleepy sensuality, a confidence and an
affection
which she had never felt in her waking life. She remembered a gesture,
rolling
over on her side and pulling his arm over her, tucking his hand between
her thighs.
She flushed a sweating scarlet. 'Oh my God,' she said.
'What
d'you remember?' Eliza demanded eagerly. 'What did you say to stop him?'
Alys
shook her head wordlessly. 'I desired him,' she said. Her voice was
hollow with
her unhappiness. 'What?'
'I was
drunk and I desired him,' Alys said again. 'If he had wanted to take me
he
could have had me. You would not have stopped him, and I would not have
wanted
him to stop. He could have had me like any little whore in the castle,
I would
have had no words to stop him. I felt wanton. He could have had me.'
She rubbed
the back of her hand hard against her eyes. 'I am lost unless I can
stop this
sickness,' she said. 'I will lose everything unless I can guard myself.
I am
lost unless I take my power. I must guard myself with all the power I
can
hold.' Abruptly she threw down her sewing and went to the door.
'Alys!'
Lady Catherine commanded. 'What do you think you are doing? How dare
you march
out of the room without my leave?'
Alys
rounded on her, her eyes, her whole face, blazing with anger and
despair. 'Oh,
go your ways, Lady Catherine!' she said bitterly. 'I have no fear of
you now.
The one thing you could have taken from me has gone. I was not born to
be a
woman like you, a woman like these ... ' She made a sharp, dismissive
gesture
at the four women whose stunned faces were turned to her, gaping.
'These
pitiful slaveys. But now I have seen myself truly. I am no better than
any of
you. There is nothing about me which is special. I am a sinner and I am
a fool.
But at least now I see my way clearly. Now I am a woman without fear.'
Lady
Catherine recoiled from her anger, but then blustered, 'Don't speak to
me like
that, girl, 'I'm taking my power,' Alys swore. 'You will not call me
girl
again! You will not rule me! And your husband will not have me as his
plaything. You have driven me to it between you and I am taking my
power!'
'Stop!'
Catherine shrieked. Alys threw her a look like a burning brand and
slammed out
of the room. They could hear her feet pattering down the stone steps
and then
the bang of the door of the great hall. 'Is she leaving?' Mistress
Allingham
asked. Only Lady Catherine stayed seated, the rest of them crowded to
the wide
oriel window and craned their necks to see the steps from the great
hall below
them into the garden, and the path to the gatehouse over the inner moat.
'She's
going,' Eliza confirmed. 'She's in the garden heading for the gate.
Shall I run
after her and order her to be brought back, my lady?'
Lady
Catherine's face was pale, her mouth pressed tight as she marshalled
her fears
and her suspicions. 'Let her go,' she said. 'Let her go.'
The
old
lord did not miss Alys until that evening just before supper, when he
wanted a
letter written. David came to the women's quarters to ask for her and
Lady
Catherine kept her plain face blank as she told him that Alys was
missing.
'I
will
come in her place,' she said. She threw a dark cloak around her
shoulders,
pulled the hood over her head, and followed him to the old lord's room
in the
round tower. On the dark corner of the stairs they passed young Lord
Hugo,
openly waiting for them. He put out his hand to stop her.
'Alys,'
he said. She had never heard that tone from him before, he poured a
world full
of yearning into the girl's name.
His
wife put back the hood of her cloak. Her bony face gleamed hatred at
him, her
eyes were filled with triumph. 'I thought so,' she said, venom in her
tone. 'I
thought so.' Hugo recoiled. 'Madam, I... '
David
the seneschal exchanged one look with Hugo and went on up the stairs to
the old
lord's chamber, out of earshot.
'Don't
bother pretending,' she said passionately. 'I wondered what hold she
had over
you and the old man. I suppose she has been bedding you both.' Her
mouth worked
angrily. 'Bedding you both! Him in his dotage and you who run after
anything in
a skirt! As soon as I saw her in that whore's dress I knew what was
happening.
But I waited and I watched. And I saw you eyeing her and I knew what
you were
thinking. God knows I've seen it often enough! God knows I've seen you
looking
at one woman after another with that smile of yours and that hot look.
Then I
saw you look at her, and I saw you carry her out of the feast. Carried
her to
her bed, did you? And paid that fool Eliza to look the other way! Paid
that
fool Eliza to play blind, and to lie to me, and to laugh at me behind
her hand.
And paid her to play the slut!'
She
rounded on him and hit him hard with her open palm across the face.
Hugo jerked
back at the ringing slap and then stood still.
'And
what about me?' Her voice rose from a passionate whisper into a muffled
scream
of rage. 'What about me? You never look at me like that. You never come
to my
room wearing that smile! Every whore in the castle can have a hot look
from
you! Every slut in the town, every drab in every village can have you
between
her dirty legs - but me, your own wife, you ignore!' She seized him by
the
shoulders. 'You ignore me!' she said. Tears were pouring down her face.
She
shook him hard. 'You ignore me!' she cried again.
Hugo
was rigid in her grasp, his whole body rejecting her with its stillness.
'Oh
God!' she said in sudden longing. 'Hugo, do to me what you do with her!
Take me
here!' She drew back into the shadow of the corner of the stair and
feverishly
pulled up her gown, grasped at the cord of his breeches, tugged at his
codpiece, thrust herself against the embroidered padding, moaned as the
stiff
embroidery touched her. 'Do it now!' she said desperately.
Hugo
stepped back and pushed her away from him. In the shadows she could see
his
face, as unmoved as if it had been carved from stone.
'Have
done,' he said, his voice low and level. 'I did not touch the wench,
whatever
you fear and whatever women's tattle you have heard. I did not lay a
finger on
her. I carried her to her pallet and I stripped off her gown, covered
her with
a rug and left her there.'
Lady
Catherine staggered as if he had slapped her. She dropped the hem of
her skirt
and pulled it down over her hips. She was still panting but the
coldness of
Hugo's voice had entered into her awareness like ice. Her face was
white and
strained.
'You
took off her gown and you did not have her?' she asked, as if she could
not
believe her ears. Hugo nodded, and turned to leave.
'Hugo!'
Lady Catherine ran down the steps after him and clawed on his arm.
'Hugo, tell
me you did not desire her. Tell me you did not desire her and that is
why you
did not have her!'
He
paused on the bottom step, smiling his cruel half-smile. "What now, my
lady?' he said acidly. 'First you berate me for tupping her, and now
you cannot
believe that I did not.'
Lady
Catherine gave a little moan and tugged on the fine slashings of his
doublet.
'Please!' she begged. 'Tell me truly what passed between you. I cannot
bear not
knowing. I cannot bear the thought of you...'
'You
cannot bear what?' he asked acidly. 'You cannot bear me lying with her,
and you
cannot bear me not lying with her. You must tell me, Madam, what I
should do to
please you.'
She
stared at him as if she could not comprehend his speech. 'Oh God,
Hugo,' she
said hungrily. 'I don't want you to lie with her. But most of all I
don't want
you to spare her. I'd rather you raped her than spared her. I don't
understand
what you are doing if you are gentle with her. I don't understand what
it
means! What are you thinking of if you treat her tenderly? I wish you'd
raped
her and hurt her! I wish you had torn her inside to slake your lust
rather than
be tender!'
He
looked back up at her and for a moment she flinched from the disdain on
his
face. 'You'd rather I raped her than spared her,' he said wonderingly.
'You
want a little maid of sixteen, in your care, torn inside by your
husband's
rape? Good God, Madam, you are an ugly woman.'
She
gasped and fell back against the stone wall.
'I did
not touch her because she was so warm and so loving,' he said, his
voice very
low. 'She had a dream and she foretold a future for me, a future for me
and for
her. My father will die and I will be master here. She will give me a
son.'
'No,'
Lady Catherine moaned and sank to the floor as her knees buckled
beneath her.
'Make
your mind up to it, lady,' Hugo said remorselessly. 'You struck me for
the last
time just now. Your days here are done. I shall have the wench from
Bowes Moor
in my bed.'
'My
dowry ...' Lady Catherine said. 'And my lands...'
'Damn
your money,' Hugo swore. 'Damn your lands! And damn you. I want the
wench from
Bowes Moor and I will risk anything - the castle itself - to have her.'
He
flung himself away from her and strode across the guardroom.
Lady
Catherine sat on the stairs in the cold for many minutes, then she
raised
herself up awkwardly, as if she were an old woman. The cold light of
the rising
moon shone through the arrow-slit on to her beaky, vengeful face. Then
she said
one word, the most dangerous word of any in her fearful, dangerous
world.
'Witch.'
Lord
Hugh was sitting at the fireside in his little stonewalled room when
Lady
Catherine stormed in, without knocking. He lifted his gaze from the
fire as he
saw her and raised one eyebrow.
'I
sent
for the maid,' he said. 'I asked for Alys.' 'She can be your clerk no
more,'
Catherine said. She spoke softly but her voice trembled with an
undertone of
passion. 'I have to speak to you, my lord, I have to demand that you
find her
and bring her to trial.'
'What's
she done?' Lord Hugh said wearily. 'Run off? Is something missing from
your
chamber?'
'Worse
than that!' she hissed. 'A thousand times worse than that.'
She
waited to see if the old lord seemed impressed. He held his peace.
'My
lord, I accuse her of the worst crime of all,' she said. She was
panting in her
eagerness to ruin Alys. 'I accuse her of a crime worse than murder
itself.'
'What's
she done?' he asked again.
'She
is
a witch,' she said.
There
was a stunned silence in the hot little room.
'I
don't believe it,' he said blankly. But Catherine was on to his
momentary
hesitation like a striking adder.
'You
suspect
her yourself!' she said triumphantly. 'You've been closer to her than
anyone!
And you suspect her yourself!'
'I do
not,' the old lord said; but his tone was uncertain.
'Well,
I accuse her!' Catherine's voice rang out. 'I accuse her of witchcraft.
She has
bewitched the Lord Hugo. He has just abused me to my face and said that
he will
not rest until he has her. That is witchcraft at work, my lord, and
your son is
the prey.'
A
little colour came back into the old lord's face. 'Faith, Catherine!'
he said
easily. 'I had thought we were speaking of the black arts! You've seen
Hugo hot
for a wench before now. It'll pass.'
He put
a hand out to her and smiled at her with an effort. 'Come,' he said
kindly. 'It
galls you, I know, but she's just one of Hugo's flirts. There's naught
there to
cry witchcraft over except the magic a young girl weaves when she's
hot. It's
no more than that.'
Catherine's
face was white with malice. 'No, my lord,' she said venomously. 'You
misunderstand me. Lord Hugo tells me that he could have had her and he
did not.
He has forsworn taking her without her consent. He tells me she cast a
spell so
that he could see a future with her as his woman. He says that he will
throw
away my dowry lands, aye, and the whole castle, to have her and the son
he
believes she will conceive. That is witchcraft, my lord, not courtship.'
The
old
lord shifted uneasily. 'I'll see Hugo,' he said. He reached out to the
table
beside him and rang a small silver bell. A servant came running and was
ordered
to find the young lord. Lord Hugh looked at Catherine.
'You
may leave,' he said.
'No,'
she said.
She
met
his astounded look without fear. 'I will stay,' she said. Her yellow
teeth were
bared in open malice. 'I say he is bewitched, I say you are half
bewitched too.
It needs a woman with a clear head here. It needs the witch-taker. I
dare not
trust your judgement, my lord, for your own safety I dare not trust it.'
The
old
lord's eyes flared at her. 'You can stay, but you must be silent.'
'Call
Eliza Herring also,' Lady Catherine suggested. 'She went with my lord
and the
witch when he carried her from the hall. She will know what passed
between
them.' The old lord nodded.
'And
your chaplain,' she urged. 'Father Stephen. He is a holy man, and a
true
servant of yours. I ask for nothing more than my safety and your safety
and the
safety of Lord Hugo. If she is a witch as I think then she should be
taken, my
lord. Taken and tested and strangled.'
'This
is nonsense ...' the old lord started. 'Wind and women's malice .. .
When Hugo
comes he will explain all.' He gathered his strength. 'And you will say
nothing,' he ordered. 'You will hold your tongue. I permit you to stay
but if
you speak I will have you thrown from my chamber. I can do that, Madam,
remember it.' 'I'll be silent,' she promised readily. 'But ask him one
thing
before you release him and before you believe the lies he will tell for
her.'
'What?' he grunted.
'Ask
him how you are to die,' Catherine said, her voice strong with spite.
'The
witch foretold your death as well as her triumph over me. She said you
will die
next year.' Lord Hugh gasped.
'Who
should know better?' Catherine asked silkily. 'She gives you your
medicine, she
handles your herbs. She is by your side when you are ill. If she did
not hex
you outright she could poison you. And now she has promised him your
death.'
Lord
Hugh shook his head. 'She is my vassal,' he said, half to himself. 'She
is my
little maid.'
'But
what if she were suborned?' Catherine said quickly. 'What an enemy she
would
make against you! Think where you have put her, my lord! You have
raised her as
high as David, your confidant! She knows all your secrets, she nurses
you. If
she were turned against you by ambition, or lust .. .' The door opened
and Hugo
came in. Catherine whirled around at the sight of him and fled behind
the old
lord's chair. With her hand resting on the high back of the chair and
her eyes
fixed on her husband's face it looked as if the two of them were united
against
him.
The
young lord took in the scene in one rapid glance and beamed in mockery
at the
sight of his wife's white face.
'Why,
Catherine, we meet again,' he said pleasantly. Then he took two swift
strides
forward and knelt before his father. 'My liege,' he said. 'I'm told you
sent
for me. I hope I have not kept you waiting?'
The
old
lord put out his hand and rested it for a moment on his son's dark
curly head.
Catherine's sharp eyes saw he trembled slightly.
'The
Lady Catherine has brought me some troubling news,' he said softly.
'And she
has named Alys, my clerk, as a witch. She says you are bewitched, Hugo.'
Hugo
got to his feet and shot Catherine a merry glance. 'I think there is no
witchcraft here but the magic of a maid,' he said. 'You should not have
troubled my father with a quarrel between us, Catherine. It would go
ill for
you if I ran to him every time I have a complaint against you.'
She
took a breath at the warning tone in his voice, but the old lord
silenced her
with a gesture.
it's
no
jesting matter,' he said flatly. 'Catherine says that Alys promised to
conceive
your son and that I will die. Is this true?'
Hugo
hesitated. 'She did not know what she was saying...'
'Was
she in a trance?' The old lord leaned forward, his face grave.
'No.'
Hugo hesitated. 'The maid was drunk, or half asleep. It was the wine
talking.'
'Witches
can use wine to give them the Sight,' the old lord warned. 'Did she
know you?'
Hugo
hesitated, remembered Alys' confident chuckle and the warmth of her
voice as
she said 'none better'.
'I
don't know,' he said. His mind was racing to see a safe way out for
Alys. 'I
don't know, Sir. I spoke with her very little.'
'When
was this?' the old lord asked. Catherine, restrained by her promise to
be silent,
leaned forward as if she would suck the words from her husband's mouth.
'Yesterday, after the Twelfth Night supper,' Hugo said unwillingly.
'When I
took her to her room - at your command, my lord, you remember. She was
drunk.'
Catherine
nodded. The old lord shot a look at her over his shoulder. 'Stand a
little
further off, Catherine,' he said. 'And remember your promise to hold
your
tongue.'
Hugo's
eyes narrowed. 'My Lady Catherine has perhaps mistaken some words I
said to her
in the heat of a quarrel,' he said to his father. 'It would ill become
me to
tell you what she said, or did in the darkness of the stairway. Let it
suffice
that she struck me, and abused me, and angered me and I was perhaps too
harsh
with her. She begged me to take her like a whore on the stairs and I
was
offended to see my lady - and your daughter-in-law - hold herself so
cheap.'
There was a little gasp of horror from Catherine at Hugo's calculated
betrayal.
'There is more, Sir, and it is worse,' Hugo said pointedly. 'But I will
not
weary you with it. I am prepared to ask her forgiveness, and let this
quarrel
end here.'
The
old
lord cocked an eyebrow at Catherine. 'Is this all there is?' he asked.
'If Hugo
begs your pardon, and makes amends to you as a husband,' he stressed
the word
'amends' and the heat of Catherine's constant desire rose up in her
sallow
cheeks, 'then is the quarrel ended, and Alys can work for me. She need
not
serve as a lady in your rooms if you have taken against her, Catherine.
And
Hugo need not see her.'
'No,'
Lady Catherine said with an effort. 'Not until Father Stephen has heard
this,
my lord. And not until we have heard from Eliza.'
At the
old lord's frown she leaned forward. 'Lord Hugo says it is naught but a
quarrel
- but that is the witchcraft speaking,' she said urgently. 'Of course
he would
try to protect her! We have to inquire further, not just to protect
him, but to
protect you, my lord. It was your death she foretold.'
The
old
man crossed himself. 'Send for Eliza,' he said to his son. 'And send
for the
priest.'
Hugo
shrugged as if the trouble were hardly worth it and then he opened the
door of
his father's room and shouted 'Holloa!' down the stone steps to the
guardroom.
One of the lads came running. 'Fetch Eliza Herring and Father Stephen,'
he
said.
The
three of them waited in awkward silence until the tire-woman and the
priest
came in. Lord Hugh scowled impartially at them both.
'I
have
called you, priest, to listen to a discourse,' he said. 'It seems we
have need
of your wisdom.'
Father
Stephen nodded solemnly, his dark, intense glance taking in Catherine's
high
colour, and Hugo's concealed rage. Eliza shrank back as near to the
door as she
could, in a white-faced trance of guilt.
'It's
all right, Eliza,' the old lord said kindly. 'No one is accusing you of
anything.'
She
was
trembling so much she could hardly speak. Her black eyes shot from the
young
lord to her stony mistress.
'All
we
need is for you to tell the truth,' the old lord said gently. 'Whatever
you
tell us - whatever it is, Eliza - you are under my protection. You can
tell the
truth.'
'Put
her on oath,' Lady Catherine said, trying to speak without opening her
mouth.
The
old
lord nodded and Hugo shot a look at his wife, measuring her courage
that she
dared speak when she had been ordered to silence.
'On
oath then,' the old lord said. He nodded to the priest who stepped
forward to
the table by the little window and brought a bible forward.
'Do
you
promise on the Holy Book, on the sacred life of Jesus Christ and His
holy
Mother and God the Father to tell the truth?' he asked Eliza. 'Remember
that
the power of the devil is very strong in these disturbed times. You
have to be
on the side of God or surrender yourself to hell. Will you tell the
truth?'
'Amen,' Eliza muttered. 'I promise. Oh God!' 'Tell us what took place
when Lord
Hugo carried Alys from the hall last night,' the old lord said. 'And
tell us
everything. And remember you will roast in hell if you lie.'
Eliza
crossed herself and shot a quick scared glance at Hugo. He was watching
her
impassively. She shuddered in her fright. 'The young lord told me to go
with
the two of them,' she started. Then she stopped like a sweating filly
on a
twitch.
'Go
on,' the old lord said crossly. 'You're on oath to speak!'
'He
told me to wait outside the door of our chamber, to keep watch,' she
said. Her
eyes were fixed on the old lord.
He
nodded impatiently. 'And he took her in and had her? Go on, wench, you
will
surprise no one here!'
Eliza
moistened her lips. 'No,' she said. 'I crept after them, to watch. I
was
curious. Alys spoke so much of her virginity - of her dislike of men. I
was
curious to see her with my lord.'
She
broke off, shooting a quick look at Lady Catherine's marble face.
'Go
on,' the old lord said grimly. 'He tossed her down on her pallet and
stripped
her down to her shift,' Eliza said. 'He pulled his breeches down and he
went on
top of her.'
Lady
Catherine hissed like a snake. The old lord put a hand out to silence
her.
Eliza
looked quickly from Catherine's suppressed anger to the young lord's
threatening black smile. 'I dare not speak!' she burst out. The old
lord leaned
forward and snatched her arm, dragged her to her knees before him. 'I
am the
master here,' he said. 'Even now in my dotage. I command here still.
And I
order you to speak and I promise you my protection - whatever you say.
Now tell
me, wench - what happened when he lay on her?'
'She
hexed him!' Eliza said with a little moan. 'I heard her chuckle and she
said a
spell or something - I couldn't catch it - and then she turned her back
to him
and fell asleep.'
'He
didn't have her?' the old lord asked incredulously. 'Didn't have her
when he
had stripped her and lain on her?'
Eliza
shook her head. 'It was her doing,' she said. 'She reached back to him,
and
took his hand and wrapped his arm around her, and she put his hand on
her ...'
she broke off. 'On her cunt?' the old lord asked frankly. Eliza nodded,
gulped.
'Then what?' he asked.
'He
asked
her if she knew him, and what year it was, and how old she was,' Eliza
said in
a little rush, her eyes fixed on the old lord. 'I couldn't hear it
all,' she
said. 'She spoke very low.'
'Did
you hear anything at all?' the old lord asked. 'The truth now, wench!'
She
nodded. 'I think she said she was eighteen,' she said. 'I think she
said it was
1538.'
Catherine
let out her held breath in a long, satisfied sigh. The old lord looked
towards
his son. 'Did she foretell my death?' he asked. Hugo nodded. 'Yes,
father,' he
said honestly. 'And this other stuff - her conceiving your son. She
said all
this?' Hugo shrugged. 'Aye,' he said. The old lord shrugged. 'Did she
say how
I'd die?' he asked.
Hugo
shook his head. 'I didn't ask. She was talking like one half asleep. I
was too
surprised to question her and ...' He broke off. 'And?' the old lord
asked.
'I
felt
very tender towards her,' Hugo said awkwardly. 'I've never felt like
that with
a woman before, not even a favourite whore. I felt as if I wanted her
to sleep.
I felt as if I wanted to guard her rest.'
The
old
lord barked a short laugh. 'That's not witchcraft - that is love,' he
said
briefly. 'I thought you'd never fall for it, Hugo. You're on a merry
road now!'
For a
moment the two men grinned at each other, warm with fellow-feeling.
'And
for a little drab from the moor,' Hugo said wonderingly.
His
father chuckled. 'You can never tell,' he said softly. 'And you'll fall
hard,
Hugo. I wager you do! She'll lead you a dance, that girl!'
'Never
mind that!' Lady Catherine hissed. 'There is witchcraft here! What of
her
naming the year as 1538? What of her calling herself eighteen? How old
is she
now? Sixteen! And it's 1536! And what of your death? And what of me?
She is in
league with the devil, she is foretelling our ends - and in only two
years
unless she is stopped now!'
The
old
lord nodded. 'What d'you think?' he asked the priest.
The
man's face was brooding. 'I know not what to think,' he said. 'It looks
very
bad. I should want to think and pray for guidance. God will send us a
sign to
protect us from these terrors within our walls.'
Lady
Catherine leaned forward, her eyes glittering in the candlelight. 'Your
own
lord is threatened with death in a year's time and you know not what to
think?'
she asked. The priest stared back at her, unafraid. 'There is malice in
the
witness against her,' he said levelly. 'Maybe this wench dislikes her,
you
certainly have reason to hate her, my lady. If she is accursed then it
will
show in her speech and behaviour. I think we should see her and judge
her on
her behaviour when she is accused.'
'And
let her enchant you all!' Catherine cried out. 'Be still, Madam,' the
old lord
rumbled. He nodded to Hugo. 'Call for Alys,' he said. 'We'd better have
her
here.'
The
priest looked briefly at Catherine and seated himself at the table in
the
window. 'She will not enchant me,' he said briefly. 'I have ordered
many
witches to their deaths. I have watched many women take ordeals where
strong
men have turned aside sickened. I am merciless in the work of God, Lady
Catherine. If she is on the side of the devil then she should surely
fear me.'
Hugo
strolled to the door, shouted for a servant again and ordered him to
seek Alys.
'I believe in none of this,' he said conversationally. 'No magic, no
witches,
no spells. I believe in the world I can see and touch. All the rest is
fairy-tales to frighten little girls.'
Father
Stephen exchanged a glance with him. 'I know you like to think so,
Hugo,' he
said with affection. 'But you go dangerously close to heresy yourself
if you
deny the fallen angel and the battle against sin.' Hugo shrugged.
A
silence fell for a few moments. Eliza edged nearer to the door.
'May I
speak?' Catherine asked. The old lord nodded.
'I may
have been hasty,' Catherine said, her voice level. The old lord bent a
piercing
look on her face. 'I was angry with my husband and angry with the
wench. I may
have been hasty in my accusations.' They waited. Hugo eyed her with
open
suspicion. 'As you say, my lord, Hugo is not necessarily bewitched. He
could be
in the grip of desire and tenderness.' Her voice did not shake with her
jealousy, she held herself in iron control. 'I may feel affronted as
his wife,
but as the lady of the castle, as your ward, it does not concern me,'
she said.
The
old
lord nodded. 'And so?' he asked drily. 'Only one thing in all of this
is left
to worry me,' she said.
The
old
lord waited.
'Your
safety, Sire,' she said. 'If the girl wishes your death then she is
well placed
to harm you. And if she is a witch then we are all in danger. We have
to know
if she has black arts before we can judge whether or no to send her
away. If
she has powers then we cannot treat her like a naughty servant. She
would do us
all grave ill. We have to know. For our own safety.'
The
priest nodded. The old lord glanced at him. 'What do you suggest, Lady
Catherine?' he asked.
Catherine
took a breath. She did not look at her husband. 'An ordeal,' she said.
'A test
for her. To see if she is a witch or no.'
Hugo
flinched involuntarily. 'I like not these ordeals,' he said. A glance
from his
father silenced him. 'Priest?' the old lord asked.
'I
think so, my lord.' Father Stephen nodded. 'We have to know if her
healing
gifts are godly or not. And Lady Catherine is right to think that she
can
neither be sent away nor kept here while we are all in ignorance.
Perhaps a
gentle ordeal? Eating sanctified bread?'
A look
of disappointment crossed Catherine's face, swiftly hidden.
'Did
you hope to swim her, Catherine?' the young lord asked maliciously. 'Or
set her
in a burning haystack?'
'None
of that! None of that!' the old lord said impatiently. 'She may well be
a good
girl and an honest servant with naught against her but your desires,
Hugo, and
her own special gifts. We'll do what the priest says. She'll take
sanctified
bread on oath and if it chokes her then we'll know what to do.'
Eliza's
eyes were as round as saucers. 'Shall I go?' she asked.
'Stay!'
the old lord said irritably. 'Where is the wench?'
After
Alys had flung herself out of the ladies' gallery she ran as far as the
outside
gate before she hesitated. The air was icy and dry, as if it might snow
at any
moment. The town was closed and silent. Morach's cottage was half a
day's walk
away. Mother Hildebrande was gone forever. She could feel the absence
of the
abbey and the loss of her mother in the arid air, in the low soughing
of the
winter wind around the castle walls. There was nowhere for her to go.
She
turned back at the castle gate and walked slowly across the outer
manse. A few
thin hens pecked at the cold earth. A fat sow. bulging with piglets,
grunted in
the sty. Alys shivered as the sun dipped down behind the high round
tower. She
walked across the second drawbridge, into the inner wall of the castle.
Mother
Hildebrande was dead, the abbey was in ruins. There was nowhere for her
to go
but back to the gallery to the spite and triumph of the women.
Her
head was still hammering from the wine and from the sudden flood of her
anger.
She walked slowly, past the herb-beds to the well at the centre of the
little
garden. She wound up the bucket and drank the icy brackish water,
tasted the
foulness of it slick in the back of her throat. Then she walked on,
past the
great hall to the bakehouse, a little building round like a beehive set
down
between the brooding blackness of the prison tower and the castle
physic
garden. Alys pushed open the little door and peered curiously inside.
It was
warm and quiet. The two great rounded ovens held their heat like a
brickyard.
The floor, the tables, the shelves, even the brass tins on their hooks,
were
covered with a thin white film of flour. The bakers had deserted it
after their
morning's work - baking the bread for breakfast, dinner and supper in
one long
sweating shift. They had gone into town to find an alehouse, or into
the great
hall of the castle to gamble or doze. Alys went quietly inside and shut
the
door behind her. The room smelled sweetly of new-baked bread. Alys sank
to her
knees in the white dust at the hearth and found that tears were running
down
her face. For a moment she was back in the abbey kitchens watching the
lay
sisters bake and brew. For a moment she remembered the sweet white
bread,
milled from their own flour, baked in their own ovens, the hot warming
taste of
fresh-baked rolls for breakfast after prime in the early morning.
Alys
shook her head, took up the bulky hem of her navy gown and rubbed her
eyes.
Then she sat back on her heels and stared into the warm heart of the
bakehouse
fire for long minutes.
'Fire,'
she said thoughtfully, looking to the hearth. She rose up and lifted
down two
small tins from the wall. One she scooped full of water from the barrel
by the
table. She placed it before the fire. 'Water,' she said softly.
She
took a handful of cold ash, fallen soot and brick dust from the back of
the
chimney. 'Earth,' she said, putting it before her. Then she pulled the
empty
tin forwards to complete the square. 'Air,' she said.
She
drew a triangle in the spilled flour and ash which covered the stone
floor,
binding the three points of fire, earth and air.
'Come,'
she said in a whisper. 'Come, my Lord. I need your power.'
The
bakehouse was silent. Across the courtyard in the castle kitchen a
quarrel had
broken out, there was the noise of a slamming door. Alys heard nothing.
She
drew another triangle, inverted, binding the points for the earth, air
and
water.
'Come,'
she said again. 'Come, my Lord, I need your powers.'
Delicately
she stood, lifting her gown as carefully as a woman stepping on stones
across a
torrent. She stepped across the line, she broke the boundary, she
stepped into
the pentangle. She turned her head upwards, her head-dress slipped back
and she
closed her eyes. She smiled as if some power had flowed into her, from
the
fire, water, earth, air - from the flagstones beneath her feet, from
the air
which crackled and glowed around her head, from the radiating warmth of
the
bakehouse which was suddenly hot, exciting. 'Yes,' she said. There was
nothing
more.
Alys
stood for a long still moment, feeling the power rise through the soles
of her
feet, inhaling it with every breath, feeling it tingle in her
fingertips. Then
she straightened her head, pulled up her hood, smiled inwardly,
secretly, and
stepped out of the shape drawn on the floor.
She
tipped the water back in the tub. She set the tins back on their hooks
and
swept, with one swift, careless movement, the shape of the pentangle
from the
dust of the floor. She untied the purse on her girdle. Morach's
candlewax
moppets were cool in her hand. Alys turned them over, smiling at the
accurate
detail of Hugo's face, her expression hardening when she saw the doll
of
Catherine with its obscene slit. She went to the pile of firewood
stacked at
the side of the oven and pulled out a log at the bottom of the pile.
She pushed
in the candlewax moppets as far as they would go, and then gently put
the log
back in place. She stepped back and looked critically at the pile. It
looked
undisturbed. She picked up a handful of dust from the floor and blew it
over
the log so that it was as pale and dusty as the others. 'Hide
yourselves,' she
said softly. 'Hide yourselves, my pretty little ones, until I come for
you.'
Then she sat before the fire and let it warm her. It was only then, as
if she
were only then ready to be found, that the servant came panting across
the
courtyard and glanced, without much hope, into the deserted bakehouse.
'The
lord wants you,' he said, flustered and out of breath. 'At once. I had
trouble
finding you.'
Alys
shrugged indifferently. 'Tell him you couldn't find me,' she said. 'I
walked
out of Lady Catherine's room without leave. I lost my temper. I don't
want to
serve her, or him, or anyone. She'll have run to him to complain of me.
I won't
go.'
The
servant shrugged unsympathetically. 'You have to,' he said. 'They're
all there.
The young lord and the shrew, the old lord and the priest. Even Eliza
Herring.
Now they want you. You'd best go, and quickly too.'
Alys'
blue eyes sharpened. 'What are they all doing?' she asked. 'What is
Father
Stephen doing there? And Lord Hugo? What do they want with me?'
'It's
a
row,' he said. 'Lady Catherine is calling up a storm and the old lord
is taking
her side, I think. But you have to go.'
Alys
nodded. 'I'm coming,' she said. 'Run and tell them I am on my way.'
She
rubbed her face with the corner of her sleeve and pushed her fingers
through
her tangle of curls, pushing the longer ringlets behind her ears and
pulling
the hood forwards into place, so that not a scrap of her hair showed
around her
face. Then she pulled down the long stomacher of the blue gown, shook
out the
plain blue underskirt, and then crossed the yard to the door of the
great hall.
She walked through the hall, where a lad was heaving logs on the fire
to keep
the room warm and ready for supper, and through the lobby at the back
of the
dais, to the tower. Up the stairs, through the guardroom with a nod
like a
queen to the lounging soldiers and a servant, and up to Lord Hugh's
door. It
stood open. They were waiting for her. Alys, composed, her head high
and her
face defiant, stepped into the bright room and heard the door swing
shut behind
her.
She
faced the old lord in his chair by the fire. She was dimly aware of
Lady
Catherine standing behind him, her hand possessively on the carved back
of his
chair, glittering with triumph. The priest stood away from the fire by
the
table in the window; before him was a black bible and a silver salver
covered
with white linen. Next to him stood Eliza, her eyes wide with terror.
Alys
glanced at her and then saw Eliza's hands. Both of them were clenched
into
fists with the thumb between the second and third fingers, to make the
sign of
the cross, the old protection against a witch. Alys' blue eyes became a
little
darker. She was starting to know what she should fear.
Furthest
away from them all was the young Lord Hugo. He was sprawled in a chair
with his
riding boots thrust out before him, his hands dug deep into the pockets
of his
breeches, his face dark and sullen under his cap. He met Alys' swift
glance
with an angry glare which was full of warning.
Alys
was silently alert to her danger. She looked back to the old lord again
and
scanned his face. He was sallow and his hands resting on the carved arm
of his
chair were trembling.
'There's
a grave accusation laid against you, Alys,' he said. 'The gravest
accusation a
Christian can face.' Alys met his gaze squarely. 'What is it, my lord?'
she asked.
'Witchcraft,' he said.
Lady
Catherine gave a little irrepressible sigh, like a woman at the height
of
pleasure. Alys did not look at her, but her colour ebbed, her face
paled.
'It is
said that you have foretold my death,' the old lord said. 'That you
have said
that you will be the lady of the castle and bear Lord Hugo a son and
heir. It
is said that you have foretold that all this will happen in just two
years from
now.'
Alys
shook her head. 'It is not true, my lord,' she said confidently.
Hugo
leaned forward. 'Was it a dream, Alys?' he prompted. 'D'you remember
nothing?'
Alys
glanced in his direction, and then turned back to the old lord. 'I did
not say
it,' she said.
The
old
lord glanced towards Father Stephen. 'It is possible that the girl was
in a
trance and is now speaking the truth as she can recall it,' the priest
said
fairly. 'If she were a true seer she might do that. I have heard of
some very
saintly prophets who have foretold the future without knowing what
words they
were saying. There are records in the gospel, the speaking in tongues
and other
miracles. But also it can be a trap from the devil.' 'D'you have the
Sight,
Alys?' the old lord asked. 'Hardly,' she said tartly. When they stared
at her
in surprise she said sharply: 'If I had the Sight, my lord, I would not
stand
here accused of witchcraft by Lady Catherine who has hated me since the
day she
first saw me. If I had the Sight I would have been well away from the
castle
before this day. Indeed, if I had the Sight I would not have been
helpless at
Morach's cottage when your men came for me and took me against my will.'
The
old
lord chuckled unwillingly. 'Then what of these words of yours, these
predictions, Alys?' he asked.
Alys,
sweating under the dark blue gown, laughed. 'A dream, my lord,' she
said. 'A
foolish dream. I should have known better than to dream it, and better
than to
speak it. But I was drunk and very full of desire.'
Hugo,
leaning forward, saw the sheen of sweat on her pale forehead. 'You were
pretending?'
he asked.
She
turned and looked straight into his face, her blue eyes as honest as a
child.
'Of course, my lord,' she said. 'D'you think I don't know that you take
women
and use them and cast them aside? I wanted you to desire me, and I
wanted you
to cleave to me, and I wanted you to think me more than any ordinary
wench. So
I pretended to have the Sight and I promised you all that your heart
desires. I
meant only to trick you into being constant to me.'
Hugo's
eyes narrowed. 'You have wanted me all along?' he asked.
Alys
faced him squarely. 'Oh yes,' she said. 'I thought you knew.'
He
heard the lie as loud and as clear as plainsong. But he nodded. 'That
explains
it then,' he said. 'Wenches' tricks and silly games.' He got to his
feet and
stretched. His head brushed the carved and painted beams. 'Have you
done,
Sire?' he asked his father. 'The wench was laying snares to trap me - '
he
grinned ruefully ' -I was caught well enough.'
He
turned to Lady Catherine. 'I owe you an apology, Madam, I have been
cunt-struck
- and not for the first time. When we are alone together I will make
you
handsome amends.' He gave a low seductive laugh. 'I shall treat you as
you
command me,' he said.
Catherine's
hand went to the base of her throat as if to hold her pulse steady.
'It's not
over yet,' she said.
The
old
lord was settling back in his chair, hooking a footstool into place
with one
foot. 'Why not?' he asked. The wench has pleaded guilty to lying and
explained
her prophecy is a false one. We can see well enough why she should lie.
The
castle's a big enough place, Catherine, I'll keep her out of your way.
You can
sleep easy in your bed with Hugo restored to you. The wench is a liar
and a
strumpet.' He shot a little smile at Alys. 'Nothing worse.'
'She
should take the ordeal,' Lady Catherine said. 'That was what we all
agreed. She
should take the ordeal.'
Alys
took a half-breath of fear before she could stop herself. Lady
Catherine beamed
at her. The colour was draining from the girl's face, she looked ready
to
faint.
'We
are
agreed that you should take an ordeal for witchcraft,' Lady Catherine
said
silkily. 'If you are indeed guilty of nothing worse than a bungled
seduction
then you will have nothing at all to fear.'
Hugo
put out a commanding hand to Catherine and she moved reluctantly from
the
shelter of the old lord's chair to stand beside her husband. He slid
his hand
around her waist and looked down into her plain, strained face.
'Come,
my lady, have done,' he said. His voice was low. Catherine swayed
towards him
like an ash tree in a breeze. 'Let us go to your chamber and leave Alys
to her
clerk duties. I am cured well enough of my lust for her, and if the son
by Alys
in her prediction was a lie and a bait, then perhaps I shall get a son
on you.'
He
turned towards the door with his arm still around her waist and she,
half
drugged with her ready desire, went with him. It was done. It was
nearly done.
Alys froze, afraid to move, conspiring not to break Hugo's spell,
willing herself
to be invisible. The priest was silent, looking from Catherine to Hugo,
and
back to Alys' wary stillness, letting them settle it as they chose.
Lord Hugh
was weary of it all, satisfied with the outcome. It was done.
'No!'
Lady Catherine cried with sudden energy. She broke out of Hugo's
encircling arm
back to the old lord. 'If she is innocent then she need not fear the
ordeal. We
have to test her before we can leave your health in her care, my lord.
That is
what we agreed to do. That is what we should do. And I will not leave
this room
until it is done!'
'Catherine!'
Hugo said commandingly. 'You are my wife, I order you to leave this
matter
alone. It is settled to all our satisfaction.'
'Not
to
mine!' She rounded on him, panting. 'Not to my satisfaction! Not to my
satisfaction! You would lead me out of the room like a bleating lamb,
my lord.
And I know why! It is to spare her the ordeal! Confess it! You do not
want me!
You have never wanted me! It is to spare your harlot the task of
showing she is
not a witch! And why?' Her voice grew louder, more shrill. 'Because you
are
bewitched into shielding her. Shielding her from the rightful anger of
your
father and you are ready to risk his life, and my life, so that you can
have
her!' She dropped on her knees before the old lord. 'Test her!' she
demanded,
like a woman begging for a lifetime's gift. 'Test the witch! Make her
take the
ordeal.'
The
old
lord looked at Hugo. 'Tell me the truth,' he said gruffly. 'Are you
shielding
her from this? If there's any chance she is a witch you should speak,
Hugo. We
none of us can dare to play with the devil's arts. Not even for love of
a
maid.'
Hugo
gave a ragged, strained laugh. 'There's no chance,' he said carelessly.
'No
chance at all. But we shall do whatever you wish, my lord, whatever you
wish. I
would have thought that we have wasted too long on this matter already.
I would
have thought you were weary of it. I do not fear the little slut, I see
no
reason to prolong this more.' He laughed more easily. 'Let's have done
and away
to our suppers.'
The
old
lord narrowed his eyes. 'No,' he said gently. 'She can take the ordeal.
There's
no harm done if she is innocent, and I am not sure of you, Hugo. I am
not sure
of you in this matter.' He turned toward Alys; her face was greenish
white.
'Alys, you are to take an oath,' he said. 'Do as Father Stephen
commands.'
Alys
shuddered, a tiny movement which betrayed her deep fear. 'Very well,'
she said,
her voice level.
The
priest stepped forward, held out the bible. 'Put your left hand on the
Sacred
Book,' he said. 'Raise your right hand and say "I, Alys of Bowes Moor,
do
solemnly swear and attest that I am not a witch."'
'I Alys
of Bowes Moor, do solemnly swear and attest that I am not a witch,'
Alys said
evenly.
A log
fell in the grate sending a shower of sparks upwards. The room was so
silent
that they all flinched a little at the noise. 'I have never used the
black
arts,' the priest intoned. 'I have never used the black arts,' Alys
repeated.
'I
have
had no truck with the devil.' 'I have had no truck with the devil.' 'I
never
looked on his face, nor the faces of his servants.'
'I
have
never looked on his face, nor the faces of his servants,' Alys
repeated. The
rhythm of the vows was pressing down on her. She could feel her gown
wet under
her arms, she could feel a cold sweat down her spine. She fought to
keep her
face serene. She was sick with fear.
'I
have
not lain with the devil, nor with any of his servants, nor with any of
his
animals.'
'I
have
not lain with the devil, nor with any of his servants, nor with any of
his
animals,' Alys said. Her throat was tight with fear, her mouth dry. She
licked
her lips but her tongue itself was dry.
'I
have
not given suck to the devil, nor to any of his servants, nor to any of
his
animals.'
'I
have
not given suck to the devil, nor to any of his servants, nor to any of
his
animals,' Alys repeated.
'I
have
made no waxen image, nor cast a spell. I have summoned no ghosts, nor
witches,
nor warlocks, nor any of the black company.'
'I
have
made no waxen image, nor cast a spell. I have summoned no ghosts, nor
witches,
nor warlocks, nor any of the black company.' Alys' voice shook slightly
but she
had it under control again.
In the
utter silence of the little room she could hear her heart beating so
loud that
she thought they would all hear it and know her fear. The candlewax
moppets
were so bright in her mind's eye that she thought anyone looking into
her face
would be able to see them. The fingertip which had drawn the pentangle
tingled
and stung. There was a tiny scrap of flour beneath her nail.
'And
to
prove my purity from these devilish skills,' the priest started.
'And
to
prove my purity from these devilish skills,' Alys repeated. She tried
to cough
to clear her throat but it was too tight.
'I
take
this sanctified bread, the body of our Lord Jesus Christ,' the priest
said.
Alys
stared at him in blank horror. 'Repeat it,' he said, his eyes suddenly
sharp
with suspicion.
'I
take
this sanctified bread, the body of our Lord Jesus Christ,' Alys said.
She could
hold herself no tighter, her voice was a thin thread of fear. Lady
Catherine's
nostrils flared as if she could scent Alys' terror.
The
priest lifted the silver salver and took the linen cloth from it. In
the centre
of the gleaming plate was a large white wafer with a cross marked on it.
'I
take
the body of our Lord Jesus Christ, and eat,' the priest said.
'I
take
the body of our Lord Jesus Christ, and eat,' Alys said breathlessly.
She eyed
the thick wafer and knew she would not be able to swallow it. Her
throat was
too tight, her mouth was dry. She would gag on it, and then they would
have
her.
'And
if
I am perjured, if I am indeed a witch, then may it choke me; and may
those that
here witness do what they will with me, for I am damned,' the priest
dictated
urgently.
The
very words stuck in Alys' throat. She opened her mouth but no sound
came, she
tried to clear her throat but the only noise she made was a harsh
croaking sound.
'She's
choking!' Lady Catherine said eagerly. 'She's choking on the oath!'
'Say
it, Alys,' said the old lord, leaning forward.
'And
if
I am perjured, if I am indeed a witch' - Alys' voice was harsh, her
throat
rasping - 'then may it choke me; and may those that here witness do
what they
will with me, for I am damned.'
'This
is the body of our Lord Jesus Christ,' the priest said, and took the
bread from
the plate and held it towards Alys' face. 'Eat.'
She
swayed as she stood, as her knees softened and her terrified blue-black
eyes
went out of focus. The nausea from last night's wine rose up in her
throat
tasting like bile. She swallowed it down so that she should not retch
and found
her throat would not respond. The bile was coming up, upwards. She put
her hand
to her face and found she was wet with icy sweat. She knew she would
vomit if
she so much as opened her mouth.
'Eat,
wench,' the old lord said with gruff urgency. 'I don't like this delay.'
Alys
gulped again. The sickness was unstoppable, her belly was in a spasm of
fear,
her throat tight with her terror, it was rising up and up, it would
spew out
the moment she opened her lips.
'She
cannot!' Lady Catherine breathed in triumph. 'She dare not!'
Goaded,
Alys opened her mouth. The priest crammed the wafer in, the thick
handful of
papery mush half suffocated her, half choked her. She could feel her
lungs
heaving for air, she knew she must cough, she knew when she coughed she
would
spew it all out, bile, vomit and wafer; and then she would be lost.
Alys
squared her shoulders and closed her eyes. She was not going to die.
Not now.
Not at these hands. She chewed determinedly. She thrust a gob of the
dry mush
towards the back of her throat and forced it down. She chewed some
more. She
swallowed. She chewed some more. She swallowed. Then she gave one last
convulsive gulp and the task was done.
'Open
your mouth,' the priest said. She opened her mouth to him. 'She
swallowed it,'
he said. 'She has passed the ordeal. She is no witch!'
Alys
swayed and would have fallen, but the young lord was at once behind
her. He
took her by her waist and guided her back to his chair. He poured her a
glass
of ale from the jug and glanced at the priest. 'I take it she may drink
now?'
he asked acidly. When the young man nodded he gave her the glass. For a
moment
his warm fingers touched her frozen ones, like a secret message of
reassurance.
'I am
glad,' Lady Catherine said. 'This is the best outcome we could have
hoped for.
Alys has proved her innocence.' The old lord nodded. 'She can stay,' he
said.
'And live with my women, as she has done,' Lady Catherine said swiftly.
'And
she will make me a promise.' She smiled at Alys. 'She will promise me
that she
will have no more truck with my husband, and that she will tell no more
tales
of a child for herself from him.'
The
old
lord nodded. 'That's fair,' he said to Alys. 'Promise it, wench.'
'I
swear it,' Alys said, her voice very low. She was still sweating, the
lump of
communion bread thick and cloying deep in her throat.
'And
when I have a child, as I know I will have this year, then we will know
that
Alys is completely innocent,' Lady Catherine said sweetly. 'Alys can
turn her
skills towards making me fertile that I may bear an heir.'
The
old
lord nodded wearily. 'Aye,' he said. 'Alys can have a look at you and
see if
she has herbs which will help.'
'I am
counting on it,' Lady Catherine said. Behind her pleasant tone was a
world of
threat. Alys, sitting without permission in Lady Catherine's presence,
shifted
uneasily as she recognized renewed danger.
'My
lord will lie with me, not with you, Alys,' Catherine said
triumphantly. 'And I
will bear his son, not you, Alys. And when our son is born then you
will be
free to leave, Alys.'
'Aye,'
the old lord said again. 'Now go, all of you. I'll take a rest before
supper.'
Eliza
fled for the door and was away downstairs without another word of
bidding. Alys
rose wearily to her feet. Hugo glanced at her and then went to Lady
Catherine,
who beckoned imperiously for his arm.
'Let
us
go to my chamber,' she said. Her look up at his dark face was hungry.
She was
breathless with lust. He had promised to lie with her, and Alys' defeat
had
excited her. 'Let us two go to my chamber, my lord.'
Alys,
left alone in the room with the old lord, moved slowly towards the door
as if
she were very, very weary. 'Get her with child, for God's sake,' the
old lord
said. He was leaning back in his chair, his eyes were closed. 'I'll have no peace until
she has a son, or
I am rid of her; and I cannot be rid of her inside a year.' He sighed.
'You
will be in danger every day of that year until she has a child or until
Hugo's
eyes are turned away from you. He must be blind to you, and deaf to
you, and
insensate to you. Get her with child if you can, Alys -or avoid Hugo's
desire.
Your luck will run out one day. You were perilously close today.' Alys
nodded,
saying nothing, then she slipped from the room and hobbled slowly down
the
stairs to the guardroom below. Eliza was waiting for her.
'I
thought you were going to choke and they would kill you,' she said,
wide-eyed.
'So
did
I,' Alys said grimly.
'Come
back with me and tell the others! They won't believe it!'
'No,'
Alys said.
'Oh,
come on!' Eliza urged. 'They won't believe me if you don't tell them
too.'
'No,'
Alys said again.
'I
thought I would die of fright!' Eliza said excitedly. 'And when you
were slow
repeating the oath, I thought they would have you! I've never seen
anything
like it!' She caught at Alys' arm. 'Come on!' she urged. 'Come and tell
the
others!'
'Let
me
go!' Alys said, suddenly shaking Eliza off. 'Let me go, damn you! Let
me go!'
She
pushed Eliza roughly aside and fled down the stairs, through the hall
where the
servants were putting out great jugs of ale and beer, and out across
the yard
to the bakehouse. Only there, when she had slipped through the door and
slammed
it behind her and sunk down to the hearthstone, did she let herself
weep. And
then, to her horror, she felt her vomit rising, rising up in her throat
again.
She
kneeled and faced the embers of the bakehouse fire and felt her throat
clench
against the rising tide of bile. Then she vomited, spewing it out into
the
ashes. Six times she heaved and puked until her belly was empty and her
mouth
sour.
And it
was then that Alys knew fear. For in the embers of the fire, whole and
untouched, unblemished in its white circle, was the sanctified wafer.
Not a
mark on it, as whole as when she had sworn an oath and chewed it and
swallowed
it. It had choked her as she had known it would.
The
night drew in, darker and colder, and Alys, still hidden in her refuge
at the
bakehouse, heard the shouts and clatter of supper and then the
querulous voices
of tired servants clearing up. From the courtyard she could hear the
shouts of
servants who were leaving the castle and going into town, she could
hear the
march of the soldiers coming from their duty at the castle gates, a few
steps
in rhythm and then a disorderly straggle towards the guardroom, a few
shouted
jests and then the numbing silence of night. Still Alys waited,
shrouded in
silence and darkness, waited for the moon to rise above the dark squat
bulk of
the great hall, waited for the last flickering candles to go out at the
little
windows. Waited for the peak of the night, sitting on the cooling
hearthstone
of the bakehouse fire.
As it
grew more and more chill she took a ragged old coat from the back of
the door,
wrapped it around her thin shoulders and put a few little pieces of
kindling
into the embers. When they flickered into flame she tossed on a dry
log. Then
she sat very still, watching the flames and saying nothing. Alys sat
still and
silent in a little island of solitude, as if she were waiting for
something to
come to her - some clarity or some hope. She knew that she was a
sinner; far,
far from the God of her mother, from the God of her innocent childhood
in the
nunnery. Despite the hours on her knees, despite the smile on the face
of the
statue, she would not be forgiven for running from her sisters when the
fires
of hell had opened around them. She would not be forgiven for the sin
of lust.
She could not take the devil on loan. She was so far from the peace of
Christ
that she vomited if she ate his bread.
Alys
threw on another log. The firelight flickered and threw ominous moving
shadows
around her. Out in the yard someone screamed in mock fright and cried
out 'Jesu
save me!' but Alys did not cross herself. She knew that she alone, of
all the
castle, could never be saved. She squatted at the stone hearthside like
a stone
herself, and watched the flames burn up her hopes, her chance of
returning to
the abbey, her chance of forgiveness. All night she watched and waited
by the
dying fire as a mother will watch by the bed of a dying child. All
night Alys
watched her future cool and crumble, and finally faced her despair.
'I'm lost,'
she said softly, just once. All her plans - of escape from the castle,
of
return to an abbey, of the revival of the Church of Rome and a haven
for her -
they were all gone. Alys knew that she would never be an abbess nor
even a
novitiate again. She could not trust herself in a holy place. God had
put his
mark on her - as she had feared - during that panic-stricken run. She
could not
whisper in the confessional, she could not eat the sacred bread. Holy
wine
would curdle if she came close - and turn to blood. Holy water would
ice over.
The holy bread would rise up in her throat and choke her and if she
vomited it
out on the chancel steps they would all see, everyone would see, the
wafer
untouched by her soiled, sinful mouth. No abbess could miss the signs
of a
woman mired in sin, a woman given over to the devil. She could not coax
nor lie
her way back to sanctity. She could not confess and be absolved. She
was in too
deep. She was in too deep. She was black as the deeps of the river at
midnight.
Alys
breathed out a long, slow sigh of despair. The old life was gone
indeed, as
surely as Mother Hildebrande - and all her wisdom and love and kindness
-was
blown away on the moorland winds in a puff of white ash and charred
gown. The
old life was gone and Alys would never have it back.
She
sat
and mourned for it, for two long hours, with her eyes on the flames and
the
white consecrated wafer gleaming palely among the red hot embers. Alys
watched
it - unburned, not even charred - and knew she was far from Christ, and
from
His mother, and from her own mother, the abbess. She was as far away
from them
already as if she were in hell.
At
that
thought she paused and nodded. 'I'm damned,' she said wonderingly.
'Damned.'
She had a moment of pity for herself. In quieter times, in an easier
world, she
would have made a good nun, a holy woman, a wise woman. As wise and
beloved as
her Mother Hildebrande. 'I'm damned,' Alys said again, tasting eternal
judgement on her tongue. 'Damned without hope of forgiveness.'
She
sat
still for a few moments longer, then she reached for the fire tongs and
hooked
the unburned wafer out of the flames. It was cool to the touch. Alys
looked at
it and her face was stony in the presence of a miracle. Then she took
it
between her hands and tore and ground it until it broke into one,
twenty, a
thousand pieces, and she fed each little piece to the flames until they
caught
and burned and were gone. Alys smiled.
'Damned,'
she said again, and this time it sounded like a direction for her to
follow.
She
knew now she would stay in the castle until she could see which way the
wind
blew for the old lord and for young Hugo. There could be no abbey, no
convent
in the future. Alys would be in the world forever and she would take
her power
in the world with her woman's strengths and the power of a woman damned
to
hell. She had to turn the eyes of Hugo from her. She had to make him
lie with
his wife. Catherine had to conceive. Any other outcome from today's
black
business would end badly for Alys, she knew. Her only chance of using
the
castle as a stepping stone to higher things, her only chance of escape,
was to
see the man she desired turn away from her and return to his wife. To
watch her
triumph, and to see a son in her arms.
Alys
nodded, her face brightening in the firelight. If she could accomplish
that -
then she would be safe for months, even years. She was high in the old
lord's
favour, she would earn Catherine's gratitude. Between the two of them
she might
build a reputation which could take her to the highest houses in the
land. Even
if she only stayed with Lord Hugh and won his complete trust she would
eat well
and sleep warm and be free to travel when and where she wished. But
Lady
Catherine must conceive. If she did not conceive, and soon, she would
look
around her for a scapegoat. There would be another ordeal. And then
another
after that. And in an ordeal by water, or an ordeal with fire, or an
ordeal
with holy wine, in any one of them Alys would fail. And then she would
face a
nightmarish death.
'I
have
no way out,' she said softly to herself.
In the
early hours of the morning, when the bakehouse was as dark as pitch,
and reason
and the learned code of morality at its lowest ebb, Alys leaned forward
and
pulled out the log which hid the candlewax figures.
With
the cloak as a shield around her shoulders she ranged the three figures
on the
lap of her blue gown and started to chant the spell Morach had taught
her. The
words meant nothing to her but as she whispered them into the silence
of the
darkened bakehouse they seemed to shroud her in power, a new power, one
she
could claim as her own. The rhythm of the words was like a song. Alys
said them
over and over, three times, in a low monotone. As she said them she
stroked the
wax dolls with her fingers until the wax grew as warm as skin, and took
the
glow from the fire. Three more times Alys whispered the spell to them,
and
caressed them, and made them her own, then she thrust her hand into the
purse
at her girdle and brought out a twist of paper. Wrapped in it were
three hairs.
The long brown one Alys stuck on the head of the doll to represent Lady
Catherine,
the short black hair was from Hugo, and Alys had one long silver hair
from the
old lord's comb.
The
dolls gleamed in the firelight, each one with a strand of hair, each
one moving
slightly as Alys stroked them and whispered to them, naming each one of
them
and claiming them for her own. The embers sighed and settled in the
fireplace
like the whisper of a ghost. In the dim
firelight and the shadows of Alys leaned forward to see
more clearly. The little wax torsos moved very, very slightly under her
gentle
fingertips. The dolls were breathing. They were alive.
Alys
let out a little sigh of awe and fear. She leaned over them and looked
at them
more closely. Then she put the one to represent the old lord carefully
down on
the hearthstone. 'I want nothing from you,' she said softly to it. 'I
want you
to be well and strong. And I want you to care for me and protect me for
as long
as I wish to stay here. And then I want you to let me go.'
The
little doll's face was impassive in the firelight. Alys watched it for
some
moments. Then she took up the doll which was the young lord. For a
moment she
looked at it, at the clear features and the strong arrogant face. Then
gently,
very gently, she drew her fingernail across its right eyeball.
'Don't
see me,' she whispered. 'Don't watch for me. Don't look at me with
love. Don't
notice me when I come into a room, don't turn to catch sight of me. Be
blind to
me. Be blind to me!'
She
stroked her finger gently over the other eye. 'Don't look at me, don't
notice
me, don't watch for me! Be blind to me! Be blind to me!' she said again.
She
blinked to clear her own gaze and was surprised to find tears on her
checks.
She rubbed them aside with the back of her hand. The little figure of
Hugo was
sightless, a smooth smear where each eye had been. Alys nodded. She
felt
shrouded in her own power. The tender, longing part of her was stilled,
hidden.
Her eyes gleamed in the darkness, her face shone with a sense of her
own magic.
She looked witchy. She licked her lips like a cat.
She
held the little figure of Hugo closer, then she started to work on his
fingertips. With delicate little movements she started to scrape the
tips of
his fingers away.
'Don't
long to touch me,' she said. 'Don't touch me. Don't long for the feel
of my
skin. Don't stroke your hand against my face. Don't caress my hair.
Don't reach
for me, don't hold me. I am stealing away your desire to feel me. I am
stealing
your power to feel me. Don't touch me, don't reach out for me, don't
caress me.'
The
fingertips of both hands were flattened; the fingernails, so delicately
carved
by Morach, had melted away. 'Don't touch my body, or my face, or my
hair,' Alys
said. 'Don't put your hand between my thighs, or on my breasts, or hold
the
nape of my neck. Don't desire the feel of me. Don't touch me.'
She
laughed, a low delighted laugh, at the tingling sense of her own power
which
flowed so powerfully from her belly to her fingertips, down to the
soles of her
feet. Then she heard the echo of her laugh in the deserted bakehouse
and looked
around her fearfully. She hitched her cloak a little closer, turned the
doll of
Hugo to one side and started stroking at his ear.
'Don't
listen for me,' she said, her voice a low whisper. 'Don't hear my
voice. Don't
have pet names for me. Don't recognize my voice among all others. Don't
listen
for my singing. Don't waken when you cannot hear my breathing in the
bed beside
you. Don't harken for me when I am away. Don't listen for my step when
I am
close.'
Delicately
she stroked at one ear until it was smoothed quite away, and then she
turned
the doll around and stroked and rubbed the second ear until it too was
gone.
Then
she put the doll on its back on her lap again and pressed her index
finger to
its lips. 'Don't speak to me,' she said. 'Don't whisper to me, don't
sing for
me, don't joke with me, don't pray for me.' With jerky little motions
she
scratched at Hugo's mouth. 'Don't call me,' she said. 'Don't call me.
Don't
dream of me and speak my name, don't wake and say my name. Don't let my
name
come to your lips.'
His
mouth was a smooth smear, but still Alys rubbed and rubbed at it.
'Don't
kiss me,' she said. 'Don't put your mouth on mine. Don't put your
tongue to my
lips. Don't lick me, or kiss me, or bite me. Don't take my body into
your
mouth. Don't suckle at my nipples until my breasts ache for you. Don't
bite my
neck or my shoulders or my belly. Don't take me in your mouth and tease
me with
your tongue and suck me till I cry out in pleasure and beg you to do
more.'
Hugo's
mouth was a shapeless hollow. Alys had rubbed his lips until there was
nothing
there. The wax had melted and the mouth was eroded. An ugly little
monster was
all that was left of what had been a miniature copy of Hugo. An ugly
little
monster, blinded like some cave-dwelling fish, fingerless like an
aborted baby,
earless, toothless, gumless, lipless, with just a gaping hollow where
his mouth
had been.
Alys
laughed again and her laughter was harsh with a wild panic.
'And
now you, my Lady Catherine,' she said softly. Very gently, with
infinite care,
she took up the doll which was Catherine and set it on her lap beside
the doll
of Hugo. She turned them to face one another and jiggled the grotesque
penis
against the female doll. She rubbed it against the doll's mouth, rubbed
it
against her neck, her belly. Then she rocked them together in an
obscene dance.
She pressed the dolls together, and then took them apart again. She
slipped the
gross wax penis into the female doll, and took it out again. Then she
laid the
female doll on her back and pressed the male doll down on top of her so
the
penis slipped into the monstrous maw, and they stayed together.
Alys
took a scrap of ribbon from the purse at her girdle and fastened the
two dolls
together. In the firelight, the little female doll seemed to gleam with
contentment, the flickering light made her cheeks pink and warm. On top
of her,
tied fast, was the eyeless, earless, fingerless, mouthless monster
which was
Hugo. Alys let them rest together on the floor at her feet and stared
at the
fire.
After
long, long minutes she shook herself from her reverie and bent down and
took
the two of them up.
'So,'
she said. 'Hugo is hot for Catherine. He cannot let her alone. He is
like a man
obsessed. He is a man half mad with desire. He itches constantly for
the feel
of his cock inside her.
'And
she ...' Alys said slowly. 'She is contented. She is his beast. She is
his
brood mare, his whore, his dog for the whipping. He can do what he
likes with
her, she feels he can do no wrong. She forgets everything else
-everything
else,' Alys said with emphasis. 'She forgets fears and rivals and
enmities
because she is exhausted and drained and then filled with joy again as
her
husband runs back to her like a thirsty dog runs to his trough of
water.'
The
bitterness of Alys' vomit was still on her tongue. She hawked and spat
into the
flames.
'He
looks at no other woman,' she said. She jiggled the two dolls together.
'He
desires no one else. He thrusts into her as if he would fuck his way to
paradise.' 'And she loves it,' she said with distaste. She held the
little
dolls together for a moment longer and then untied the ribbon which
bound them.
They fell apart at once, as if the male doll were glad to be rid of the
binding. Alys frowned a little, wondering what it meant. Then she set
the doll
Hugo down beside his sire on the hearthstone and started to stroke the
female
doll's belly.
'His
seed is in you,' she said softly. 'And you conceive a boy. You get
fatter, the
baby grows.' Alys' clever fingers moulded the wax into a new shape.
Catherine
became monstrously large. 'You grow and grow,' Alys said. It sounded
more like
a curse than a spell for fertility. 'Nothing will stop you. No fear, no
shock,
no accident. You grow larger and larger and your appetites are gross.
And then
...' Alys paused. 'You take to your bed in labour. And from your pain
and
travail you bring forth a son who is the image of his father.'
Alys
paused. Her lovely face was twisted with anger and with jealousy.
'And
then you reward me,' she said sternly to the grossly swelling doll.
'You pay me
a purse of gold and your blessing. You give me enough money for me to
go far
away, wherever I will. And you and I part and I never have to see you
or your
husband again.' Alys gathered the three dolls on her lap. 'The spell is
done,'
she told them. 'And you brought it all on yourselves. These are the
destinies
you desired, or the destinies you forced me into making for you. The
spell is
done and it starts to work this very day.'
She
slid the three into her purse again and slipped down from her stool to
the
hearthstone before the fire. She pulled the cloak around her and closed
her
eyes. Within seconds she was asleep.
As
dawn
broke, and the cocks crowed and the animals called and then the people
awoke,
Alys slept on. She slept without dreams to remember. But all night and
all the
early morning, the tears welled up from under her closed eyelids in a
constant
unstoppable flood. And her hands remained clenched in fists, the thumb
between
the second and third fingers, in the old, old ineffectual sign against
witchcraft.
When
the bakers' lad came in just after dawn to stoke the fire he found her
there,
her tangle of golden hair dirty in the ashes, and when he shook her
awake and
she sat up, the ashes still clung to her, so that she looked like
Morach, an
old woman with a wild shock of grey and white hair. Her face was dirty
and in
the shadowy dawn the smears looked like hard lines from years of
longing and no
satisfaction. The bakers' lad had never seen Alys before and he
recoiled from
her.
'I beg
your pardon, dame!' he said swiftly, and when she struggled to her feet
he took
to his heels and was off into the courtyard where the grey light of
dawn made
the castle appear icy and white.
Alys
followed him out of the open door as far as the well in the centre of
the yard.
She crooked a finger at him. 'Pull me water,' she said, her voice a
hoarse
croak.
The
boy
came nervously towards her but stayed out of reach. 'Promise you won't
hex me?'
he said.
Alys
laughed, a bitter sound, and hawked and spat. 'I promise,' she said.
Then she
looked at him and her blue eyes gleamed with malice. 'Not this time, at
any
rate.'
The
boy
trembled but came closer and wound down the bucket. Three times he had
to drop
it before it smashed through the ice in the well. Then he wound it up,
filled
to the brim. Alys cupped her hands and scooped up the icy water and
drank
greedily.
'Now
go
to your work,' she said. 'But tell no one you saw me.' 'I won't, lady!
I
won't,' the boy promised eagerly. Alys looked at him until he nearly
shrivelled
with fear. 'I shall know if you do,' she said with emphasis. Then she
turned
away from him and went wearily to the women's quarters to wash and
change her
gown and comb her hair. The purse with the three candlewax dolls
knocked at her
thigh with every step she took.
Eliza
fell on her the moment she was through the door, with the others not
far
behind. 'Where have you been? You've been out all night!' Eliza
exclaimed.
Then, when Alys started to reply, 'Never mind that!' she said
impatiently.
'Never mind! You'll never guess what's been happening here. All night!
All
night!'
The
other women, bright-eyed and half hysterical, collapsed into laughter.
Alys
felt herself smiling, catching their amusement despite her weariness.
'What?'
she asked.
'Lord
Hugo!' Eliza said. 'You'll never guess. He's been here, with my lady,
all night
long. And we saw, we saw . . .'
'Tell
it right!' Margery reproved. 'Tell it from the beginning.'
'I'll
not hear it,' Ruth said. 'Lady Catherine is sure to come in and catch
you
tattling, Eliza.'
'Well
go sit with her then!' Eliza said impenitently. 'And if she comes -
cough so we
can hear you. But I've got to tell Alys. I shall die if I don't.'
'Silly
girl,' Mistress Allingham said indulgently. 'Not that we didn't have a
night of
it! Indecent!'
Ruth
went out of the room and Eliza dragged Alys to a footstool and sat at
her feet.
'After
supper,' she began breathlessly, 'Lord Hugo came up here and said he
would like
to hear us singing and playing. Ruth played the mandolin and I sang,
and then
Margery sang. He said my voice was very sweet and he smiled at me - you
know
how he does!' 'Yes,' Alys said wearily. 'I know his smile.' Eliza
winked.
'Well, you would of course. My, you're a sly one! I never knew you were
hot for
him. I thought you were wedded to the single state! And there you were
all
along ...'
'About
last night...' Margery interrupted.
'Yes!'
Eliza said. 'Well, after we had sung he called for some mead and he
made us all
have a glass with him, and then he took the bottle, as bold as you
please, and
said to Lady Catherine. "I think we will have need of this to quench
our
thirsts this night."' Eliza's eyes grew wide with double meanings.
'Then
he said, "Though I will give you enough to drink, my lady, I promise
you!
Your mouth will run over with it!"' Alys swallowed convulsively.
'Vile,'
she said softly. 'There's worse than that!' Eliza said with delight.
'They went
into the room together and we were just left there, imagine how we
felt! We
didn't know whether to go or stay. Ruth was for going but I said - we
haven't
been dismissed, he might want something - so we stayed.
'Then
we
heard it. First of all we heard them talking, quietly, so we couldn't
hear the
words. Then we heard Lady Catherine say, "I beg you, my lord, I beg you
to
give me a son. Do it to me!"' Eliza gave a squawk of laughter and
clapped
a hand across her mouth.
'Ruth
left then, you know how she is. But we stayed. And then we heard Lady
Catherine
moaning. She sounded like she was in pain so we thought we should go
in, but
then we thought not. Over and over again she was saying: "Hugo, Hugo,
please, oh please.'"
'What
was he doing?' Alys asked. She thought she knew.
Eliza
licked her lips. 'We peeped,' she said. 'We opened the door really and
she had
the curtain drawn across it so they didn't know. I peeped around the
curtain, I
thought I could say we were worried for her if they caught me. Catch
me! They
wouldn't have noticed if we'd danced in singing.'
'What
was he doing?' Alys asked. She was very white. 'He had made her kneel
before
him,' Eliza said, her voice a delighted whisper. 'He had his cock out
and he
was hard as a spear -I saw it! And he was rubbing it all over her face,
her
eyes, her ears, her hair, everywhere. And rubbing himself on her neck
and the
front of her nightgown.'
Alys
was very still, she was thinking of the little dolls and the obscene
dance she
had made them do before she had tied them together with the ribbon.
'He
ripped her gown,' Eliza said. 'And she just knelt there and let him do
what he
wanted. And he rubbed himself against her breasts. She was shameless.
She was
there with her gown ripped to her navel and her arms tight around his
bum just
moaning and moaning for more.'
Alys
put a hand to her forehead, she was cold and wet. 'And then?' she
asked. 'I
suppose he had her?' Eliza shook her head. 'Worse,' she said. 'What?'
Alys
said.
'He
told her to get on the bed and spread herself wide,' Eliza whispered.
Alys shut
her eyes briefly.
'She
looked disgusting!' Eliza said in delighted shock. 'She stuck her legs
right
out and she opened herself with her hands.'
Alys
shook her head. 'Oh, enough, Eliza! I don't want to know.'
Eliza
was unstoppable. 'And he climbed on the bed and he rammed inside her as
if he
hated her,' she said in an awed whisper. 'Then he pulled out again and
walked
away.' 'What happened?' Alys asked.
'She
screamed,' Eliza said. 'She screamed when he thumped in and then she
screamed
again when he pulled out. She was writhing on the bed like a barrel of
eels.
She was wild! She kept begging him and begging him to do it to her.'
'Did
he?' Alys asked tersely.
Eliza
shook her head. 'Not properly, not like she wanted. Over and over again
he went
to the bed and mounted her once, and then pulled away. And again and
again she
screamed for more. Then he made her get off the bed.' Alys waited in
silence.
'He
made her strip naked and tear her shift into pieces,' Eliza said. 'Then
he told
her to knot the pieces into a rope.'
'Good
God!' Alys said impatiently. 'Why did you not stop him? Why did you not
at
least call to her?'
Eliza
looked at her. 'Don't you know?' she asked. 'Are you so cold that you
don't
know that? She was loving it. She wanted him to treat her like that.
She wanted
to be his brood mare, his whipped dog. She was not his wife; she was
his
whore.'
Alys
sat very still and let the echo of her spell wash over her and around
her. She
wondered how deep an evil she had done.
'He
made her crawl up and down the floor,' Eliza said. 'He made her crawl
on her
hands and knees. He tied the shift over her eyes so she could not see
and he
made her crawl around. Sometimes he entered her from behind, sometimes
he went
to her head and forced her mouth on to him. And whatever he did,' -
Eliza's
voice was soft with delighted shock - 'she cried for more.'
'All
night?' Alys asked coldly. She was thinking of the two dolls tied
together and
then their abrupt falling apart.
Eliza
shook her head. 'He took the blindfold off her and he put it around his
own
back,' she said. 'He did it around her so they were bound together.
Then he
lifted her up and lowered her on to him.'
Alys
could feel vomit again rising in her throat from her empty belly.
'She
screamed,' Eliza said.' A long really loud scream, as if he had really
hurt her
that time. And the two of them dropped to the floor and he humped her
on the
rushes until her back bled.'
Alys
hawked and spat into the embers of the fire. 'Give me some ale,
Margery,' she
said softly. 'This story of Eliza's makes me sick to my very heart.'
'It's
done,' Eliza said with quiet triumph. 'The story's done. I said you
should have
been here.'
Alys
sipped the ale. It was warm and stale from standing all night in the
pitcher.
'Did he spend the night in her bed?' she asked, but she already knew
the
answer. Eliza shook her head. 'He untied the rope when he had done with
her and
sprang away from her as if he hated her,' she said. 'Lady Catherine was
still
lying on the floor and he slapped her - one cheek and then the other -
and then
he pulled up his breeches and left her, like that. With her back all
bruised
and bloody and his hand print on both her cheeks.'
Alys
nodded. 'And is she grieved?' she asked, detached.
Eliza
shook her head. 'She was singing this morning when I took her cup of
ale in to
her. She had her hands on her belly and she told me she is sure she has
conceived a child. She is sure she is going to bear him a son. She has
begged
her way into paradise and she is content.' Alys nodded and sipped at
the ale
again. 'Good,' she said. 'Hugo is back with his wife, his wife is
carrying his
child. Neither of them will trouble me, I am spared her foul jealousy
and his
dangerous lusts. I can do what I ought to do - clerk for my lord and
keep him
and his household well.'
She
got
up from the stool and shook the dust from her gown. 'It has a bitter
taste,' she
said quietly to herself. 'I never knew it had a bitter taste.'
'What
has?' asked Eliza. 'The ale? It should be sweet enough.'
'Not
the ale,' Alys replied. 'The taste of victory.'
It was
bitterly cold all February. The river froze into great long slabs of
grey and
white ice. When the ladies walked along the path beside the river they
could
see the water dashing along beneath the thick skin. Alys shuddered and
drew as
far back as the snowy banks would allow. In the second week a thick
mist blew
across the moors from the south-west and the women stayed indoors for
one long
winter day after another. It was dark when they woke, then pale and
cloudy and
brooding all day, then dark again at three in the afternoon. Sounds
were
muffled in the fog and from the window in the gallery you could not see
the
river below - from the old lord's room high in the round tower you
could
neither see nor hear the castle courtyard.
Alys
spent all the time she could with the old lord in his little room in
the tower.
It was warm there and the lord and his steward David were quiet easy
company.
She wrote as she was bid, restrained condolences to the Princess Mary
for the
death of her mother, the Dowager Princess Catherine of Aragon, she read
to the
old lord from bawdy, unlikely Romances and listened to his anecdotes
and
memories of battles and jousting and of the time when he was young and
strong
and Hugo had not even been born.
The
mood in the women's gallery above the great hall was ominous. Lady
Catherine plunged
from hysterical gaiety, when she commanded the women to play and sing
and
dance, into a deep sullen anxiety when she would sit at her loom
without
weaving and sigh. The women bickered among themselves with the fretful
irritation of caged animals. And once or twice a week, like a
water-wheel
turning against its will, Lord Hugo would come to the women's chamber,
bearing
a jug of mead.
The
evening would start merrily enough, with the women dancing and Lady
Catherine
in a flutter of excitement. Hugo would drink deep, his jokes would grow
more
bawdy. He would grab Eliza if she was within reach and fondle her
openly,
before his wife and the other ladies. Then he would up-end the jug and
fling it
towards the fireplace, take Lady Catherine by her wrist and drag her
off to the
bedchamber. As the women tidied the room, sweeping up the broken
pottery and
setting the glasses to one side on the cupboard, they would hear
Catherine's
loud shrieks of pain and then her gasping unrestrained sobs of
pleasure. At two
in the morning, without fail, Hugo would loose his wife from the rope
of linen
which he always tied around them, and stagger, blear-eyed and
foul-tempered,
for his own bed.
'Tisn't
natural,' Eliza said one night to Alys. The candle was out, they were
lying in
the dark. In the other corners of the room they could hear the quiet
breathing
of Mistress Allingham and a rumbling snore from Ruth. Eliza had long
ceased to
laugh at the antics of Lord Hugo and his lady. All the women were
appalled at
the turn the two had taken.
'Did
you hear her this evening?' Eliza asked. 'I reckon she's bewitched. It
isn't
natural for a woman to beg for a man like she does. And she lets him do
anything he wishes to her.'
'Hush,'
Alys said. 'It's her way. And she'll sleep well tonight and be
sweet-tempered
in the morning. And soon we'll know if she's in foal.'
'Whelping,'
Eliza said with a sleepy giggle. 'But it isn't natural, Alys. I've seen
bruises
on her that he's made with his belt. And when I showed them to her she
gave me
a smile ...' She paused. 'A horrid sort of smile,' she said
inadequately. 'As
if she was proud.'
Alys
said nothing more and soon Eliza was breathing deeply, sprawled out
across
Alys' side of the bed. For an hour Alys lay sleepless in the darkness,
watching
the cold finger of moonlight move across the ceiling, listening to
Eliza's
snuffling snores. Then she slipped quietly from the bed and went out to
the
gallery, and threw a couple of logs on the fire, and a handful of pine
twigs.
The
twigs spurted little flames and a sharp resinous scent filled the room.
Alys
sniffed at it and sat down on the warm fleece before the fire to watch
the
flames.
The
castle was wrapped in utter winter darkness and utter night-time
silence. Alys
felt she was the only being awake or even alive in the whole world. The
embers
of the fire formed into little castles and caverns. Alys stared deep
into their
red glow, trying to make out shapes, pictures. The sweet tangy scent of
the
burning pine reminded her of Mother Hildebrande and her quiet study
where the
little fire had been made of pine cones. Alys used to sit at her feet
and lean
against her knees while reading, and sometimes Mother Hildebrande would
rest
her hand gently on Alys' head and lean forward to explain a word, or
chuckle
tolerantly at a mispronunciation.
'What
a
clever girl,' she would say in her soft voice. 'What a clever girl you
are, my
daughter Ann!'
Alys
took the sleeve of her nightshift and rubbed at her eyes. 'I won't
think of
her,' she said into the silence of the room. 'I must go on not thinking
of her,
stopping myself thinking of her. I will be without her now. Without
her,
forever.' She thought instead of Morach and the cold dark little
cottage at the
foot of the moor. Morach's hovel would be up to the eaves in snow by
now. Alys
grimaced remembering the long, dark, winter days, and the ceaseless
unrewarding
labour of digging out a track from door to midden to carry the slops.
'Whatever
I am doing now,' she whispered, 'whatever it costs me - it is better
than that
life. Mother Hildebrande would know that. She would understand that.
She would
know that even though I'm very deep in sin ... she would know ...' Alys
broke
off. She knew that the abbess would never have accepted an argument
which said
that hardship justified a sinner in one sin after another, down to the
very
doors of hell itself. 'I won't think of her,' Alys said again. She sat
in
silence for a little while, then the fire shifted and roused her from
her
daydream. She tossed a little log on to the soft embers at the back and
watched
it glow and then blacken and flame.
Very
quietly behind her, the door of Lady Catherine's bedroom opened and
Hugo came
out. He was wearing only breeches, his chest and back bare, carrying
his boots,
his shirt and his doublet. He checked in surprise when he saw Alys, so
still at
the fireside. Then he came on.
'Alys,'
he said.
'Hugo,'
she replied. She did not move her head to look at him, she had not
started at
the sound of a voice in an empty room.
'Did
you know I was there?' he asked. 'I always know when you are near,'
Alys said.
Her voice was dreamy. Hugo felt himself shiver as he came near her, as
if all
around her was some circle of deep power.
'I
have
not seen you for days,' he said. 'I have not seen you, to speak with,
since the
night of your ordeal.'
Alys
thought of the purse on her girdle with the little figures still safe
inside,
stuffed under her pallet in her room. She thought of the blinded model
of Hugo
knocking and rubbing against the fat belly and cavernous slit of the
doll of
Catherine. 'No,' she said.
'You
lied, didn't you?' Hugo asked gently. 'When you told them that you were
hot for
me, and that you had made up a false prophecy to snare me?'
Alys
shrugged as if it hardly mattered. 'That was a lie, but I don't know
the
truth,' she said slowly. 'I truly cannot remember that night. I
remember you
carrying me from the hall but that is all. After that it was just
sleep.'
Hugo
nodded. 'So you did not desire me?' he asked. 'You were lying when you
said it.
You did not desire me then and you do not desire me now?'
Alys
turned her head and looked at him. One side of her face was rosy with
firelight, the other side in flickering shadow. Hugo felt the breath
catch in
his throat.
'Oh
yes,' she said softly. 'I desire you. I have wanted you, I think, since
the
moment I first saw you. I came into the great hall and your face was
graven
deep with hard lines - and then I saw you smile. I fell in love with
you then,
in that instant, for the joy in your smile. I hate her being with you,
I hate
the thought of you touching her. I cannot sleep when I know you are
with her.
And I dream of you, constantly. Oh yes, I desire you.'
'Alys,'
Hugo breathed. He put out his hand to touch her cheek, cupped his palm
around
her face as if she were a rare and lovely flower. 'My Alys,' he said.
Alys
hissed an indrawn breath. 'Can you feel me?' she asked. She took his
hand from
her cheek and examined it carefully.
'Are
you telling my fortune?' Hugo asked, amused. Alys turned the hand over
and
looked at the clean short fingernails. She turned the hand back and
looked at
the perfect idiosyncratic whorls on the fingertips.
'Can
you feel me?' she asked again. 'Can you feel my touch?'
'Of
course,'
Hugo said, puzzled. 'With every fingertip? With every one?' she asked.
He
laughed a little. 'Of course,' he said. The words spilled out from him
as if he
had held them back for too long. 'My little love, my Alys, of course I
can feel
your touch. I have waited and waited for you to reach out your hand to
mine. Of
course I can feel you!'
'When
I
whisper, like this,' Alys said, hardly breathing the words, 'can you
hear me?'
'Yes,'
Hugo said, surprised. 'Of course I can. My hearing is good, Alys, you
know
that.'
Alys
put her hand out to his face and stroked with infinite tenderness his
eyelids
and the delicate lined skin around his dark eyes.
'Can
you see me?' she asked. 'Can you see as well as you ever did?'
'Yes,'
Hugo said. 'What is this, Alys? Are you afraid I am ill?'
Alys
clasped her hands in her lap and looked back towards the fire.
'No,'
she said. 'It is nothing. I thought for a time that I wanted you blind
and deaf
to me. I know now, this night, that is not true. It never was true.
Maybe my
desire for you is stronger than anything else. Maybe my desire for you
is
stronger than my wish for safety. Perhaps even stronger than ...' She
broke
off. 'Anything else,' she said weakly.
Hugo
frowned. "What "else"?' he asked. 'What d'you mean
"anything else"? Is it some herbalism or some old women's trickery?'
Alys
nodded. 'I wanted you to look away from me,' she said. 'I feared Lady
Catherine's jealousy. After that time - when she made me take the
ordeal - I
knew she would catch me at something, force me to some test. And sooner
or
later I would fail.'
Hugo
nodded. 'And so you cast some silly girl's spell to keep me away from
you, did
you?' he asked, half amused. 'You must despair of your powers, Alys.
For here I
am, seeing you, touching you, hearing you and desiring you.'
Alys
glowed in the darkness like a pearl suddenly opened to the light.
Hugo
chuckled. 'Of course,' he said easily. 'What other end could there be
between
you and me? I love you. I looked down the hall and saw you in that red
gown
which was too big for you, and your poor shorn head and your clear
little face
and your night-blue eyes and I wanted to take you and bed you at once.
And I
have waited and waited for the lust to pass - and instead of passing it
has
become love.
'I
would have had you that night - Twelfth Night. I would have taken you
when you
were drunk and you could neither refuse nor consent. But when I touched
you I
saw you smile, and you said my name as though we had been lovers for
years. And
as soon as you did -I wanted that. I didn't want to take you like a
whore. I
didn't want to force you. I want to make a life with you like that. I
don't
believe you have the Sight. I don't believe in that stuff. I don't fear
you are
a witch or a magician or any of that silly mountebank stuff. But I do
believe
in a life for the two of us. No - three of us. Me, you and my child: a
son for
me.'
Alys
was silent for a moment. She looked again at his fingertips and then
she put
out her hand to his face and gently touched the soft skin around his
eyes. 'And
your wife?' she asked softly. 'None of her business,' Hugo said
promptly. 'What
you and I are to each other is none of her business. Besides, she's
well served
these days. Soon she must conceive.'
Alys
turned
her face towards him and looked steadily at him. 'And why is that?' she
asked.
Hugo
shrugged. 'Because I go to her,' he said impatiently. 'And why is
that?' Alys
asked again. 'I don't...' Hugo stopped the sentence short. 'D'you think
it's
your doing, Alys?' he asked, near to laughing.
Alys
glanced behind her at the darkened room and at Lady Catherine's chamber
where
the woman lay asleep, smiling even in her sleep at his abuse of her;
bruised,
drained, satisfied.
'I
don't know!' she said sharply. 'I can't tell! How would I know? I'm not
trained
in the black arts, I know nothing more than I saw old Morach do, up on
the
moor, to frighten stupid women out of their money. I don't know why you
lie
with her. Nor do I know why you hurt her and abuse her. It disgusts me,
Hugo. I
don't know why it should be like that between you two. I would not have
made it
like that between any man and woman - not even if I hated her. I hexed
you to
lie with her - I admit that! But I did not plan that you should beat
her and
spit on her and force her into abominable acts. I did not plan that she
should
love you for it!'
'I
don't know why it is like that,' Hugo conceded. He moved to sit closer
to Alys
and laid his arm around her shoulder. She leaned towards him. 'It
disgusts me
too,' he said, his voice very low. 'I've never treated any woman like
that -
not the poorest whore. But something in me drives me to slap her and
ride her
and whisper curses to her ... ' he broke off. 'And the more I do, the
worse I
am, the more she adores it.'
He
shook his head. 'It sickens me to my soul in the morning,' he said.
'And I can
only touch her when I am drunk. Alys, you should see her. She lies
before me
and begs me to hurt her in any way I please. It makes me feel. ..
fouled.'
Alys
nodded. 'I made a spell that you would give her a son,' she said
softly. 'I am
sorry that I touched you. I'm sorry that I made such a spell. I felt
driven to
it, I did not know what else to do to make myself safe here. I wanted
my power.
But now I wish I had not done it, Hugo.'
'D'you
think it is your magic which is driving her?' Hugo looked from the fire
to
Alys' clear profile. He kissed her temple where a tendril of golden
hair
curled. 'I don't think it is your spell, my lovely Alys. I think
Catherine's
tastes have always been for pain. She was hot for our marriage even
though she
knew I did not care for her. She has always begged me to lie with her,
even
when we were quite little children. She has always allowed me to abuse
her. It
has never been as bad as this before. But I have never felt so angry
with her
before. I never felt constrained before now.' 'Constrained?' Alys asked.
Hugo
nodded. 'You know why,' he said. 'Your safety lies in her conceiving.
You
cannot stay here with her waiting to trap you. She has to be satisfied.
You
were driven to your little spell, I am driven to lie with her. I know
she has
to be satisfied for her to leave you alone.'
'The
spell made no difference?' Alys asked. She turned and looked at him and
he saw
her face lightening as if he was taking some guilt away from her.
'No
difference at all,' he said honestly. 'It is all nonsense, and you
should not
fear your power like this. I am acting as I wish. I am doing what I
decide. I
am doing my duty by Catherine as I should have done long before. I do
it
without desire, so I do it drunk and cruelly. And she - by some twist
in her
own appetites -likes me to be drunk and harsh with her. So she is well
served.
There is no magic in it.'
Alys
gave a little sigh. 'I have been afraid,' she admitted. 'I was afraid
it was
all my doing, and the ugliness and the bitterness of my spell had made
you ugly
and bitter with her.'
Hugo
gathered her into his arms and settled her on his lap, his arms around
her, her
cheek against his.
'Fear
nothing,' he said. 'I want a future for us. But I don't believe in
magic and
all the old spells and fears. It is a new world we are building, Alys.
A world
free of superstition and fear. A world we can explore, full of new
lands and
adventures, full of wealth and opportunity. Don't cling to old dark
ways, Alys.
Come out with me into the light and put that all behind you.'
Alys
turned her face to him and laid her cheek against the warm stubble of
his chin.
'You
are so strange,' she said with half a smile. She pulled back and
touched his
face, her fingers tracing the lines around his eyes, the deep cleft
between his
eyebrows. 'You are so strange to me and yet I feel I have known you all
my
life.' 'My friend, Lord Stanwick, told me I was cunt-struck!' Hugo said
with a
low laugh. 'I was drinking with him the other day and I told him I
loved a girl
so much that I was in danger of a breach with my wife, with my father,
and with
my duty. He laughed till he wept and said he must meet you. He could
hardly
believe in the existence of a girl who could turn me from hunting and
whoring
and scheming for the future.'
Alys
smiled. 'And you?' she asked. 'Are you - what d'you call it?
Cunt-struck? Or is
it something real which will last?'
He
tightened his grip around her. 'It will last till I die,' he said
simply. 'You
have my heart, Alys, I am yours till death.'
Alys
stirred at once. 'Don't say that!' she said. 'Don't speak of death! I
want us
to live forever, I want us to be young forever. I want this night to
last
forever!'
He
laughed. 'God! You're fey, Alys. We will love while we are young, and
while we
are old, and then we will grow older and die and go to heaven and be
two angels
together. What is there to fear in that? Did you think I might go to
hell for
my few little sins? I have confessed! I am cleared! And you can never
have
sinned in your life. Not with a face as clear and as sweet as yours.
Not my
little maid Alys.'
Alys
hesitated. She wanted to tell him of the abbey, of the smoke, of her
panic in
the firelit darkness. She wanted to tell him that she had run from her
sisters
and left them to burn. She wanted to tell him that she had once loved
someone
and been beloved. That she was not truly an orphan for she had been
held and
taught and loved by a mother. And that she had betrayed her and then
denied
her. Left to die in her sleep, shrouded with smoke, eaten alive by
flames.
'What is it?' he asked.
'Nothing,'
she said. She did not dare.
'Will
you surrender your magic?' he asked. 'The little spells and charms?'
Alys
hesitated. 'Why d'you ask it of me? You keep the things that give you
power -
your weapons, your wealth. My magic is all the power I have, it keeps
me safe
here.'
Hugo
shook his head. 'It does nothing except frighten you and make you feel
that all
the world's sins are at your door,' he said roundly. 'Keep your herbs
and your
crystal and your real skills, the ones you have used to make my father
well.
Keep your medicines and throw away your spells, Alys. There is real
danger for
you when you play with them. Not because they are true -for they are
nothing
but nonsense to frighten peasants! - but because they give your enemies
a
handle on you. Throw away the magic and keep the medicine.'
'All
right,' Alys said reluctantly. 'I agree. Unless I have need of them,
unless I
have need of that power, I will stop.' She thought of the figures in
her purse,
stuffed deep in the mattress in her room. 'I never know whether it
works or
not,' she said honestly, I was sure I had hexed you and Catherine, and
now you
tell me it is your own tastes.'
He
nodded. 'We were always like that,' he said. 'No spell on earth could
make me
use a woman so if it were not to her taste as well as mine.'
'I
will
throw it away,' Alys said. 'I should never have started but for that
ordeal. I
was afraid and I wanted some power - at any price.'
Hugo
tightened his arm around her shoulders. 'Don't be frightened,' he said,
his
voice low. 'I love you, I will protect you. You have my power around
you now.'
He
took
her hand and turned it palm upward. As if he were sealing a bond he
planted a
kiss in the centre and folded her fingers over. She took his hand to do
the
same for him. She kissed each fingertip one by one, as if to bless
them, as if
to keep them whole. Then they sat by the fire until the darkness of the
arrow-slits started showing pale.
'I
must
go,' Hugo said.
Alys
held her face up for his farewell kiss. He took it in both hands and
kissed her
lips, and then very gently, both eyelids. 'Sleep,' he said and his
voice held a
tenderness she had never heard from him before. 'Sleep and dream again
of the
time I will be with you night and day and no one will come between us.'
'Soon,'
Alys whispered. 'I swear it,' Hugo said.
'I
want
to be your wife, Hugo,' Alys said softly. 'I want to belong here, as
you do,
without question. And I want to have your son, as I said in my dream.'
He
chuckled. 'Marriage is something else, my darling,' he said softly.
'You and I
were made to be lovers, we should be together. But marriage is
business: land,
property, dowry. Not for lovers like us. I want you to freely love me,
to
freely be mine. Not marriage, my darling, but long nights and days of
love; and
a son for me. Now sleep and dream of it.'
He
kissed her again and went from the room. Alys stayed for a moment,
listening to
his soft steps down the stair and then went into the women's room and
quietly
closed the door.
She
looked swiftly around. None of them had stirred, they were still all
four
deeply asleep. Noiselessly she crossed to her pallet on the floor and
fumbled
among the straw, pushing her arm deep into the bed. At last she found
it and
drew out the little purse with the three candlewax figures. She threw
her cloak
around her shoulders and went, barefoot, to the door.
The
stone stairs beneath her feet were icy cold. She passed like a ghost
out of the
doorway and towards the gate which guarded the drawbridge. The soldiers
were
sleeping, there was no danger to watch for. Alys tiptoed across the
bridge, her
feet numb, and went to the moat-side.
She
thrust her hand deep into her purse and pulled out the first doll she
found. It
was the Lady Catherine doll, grotesquely ugly with its monstrous
sexuality and
bursting belly. Alys shuddered as she held it in her hand and then she
tossed
it into the moat.
She
had
expected it to sink, to sink down into the green water and disappear.
No one
ever drained the moat, no one fished with nets. All sorts of rubbish
and offal
were thrown into it every day. Alys had thought the little dolls would
sink to
the bottom and no one would ever find them. Or if they did, the wax
would be
blurred and broken, and no one would ever think they were anything but
candles,
wastefully dropped by some negligent servant.
The
little
wax doll sank beneath the freezing water, and then, as Alys watched, it
bobbed
up again. Lady Catherine's mocking, ugly smile stared at Alys. The
little
candlewax eyes looked at her. 'No!' Alys cried aloud. 'Get down.' An
icy breeze
rippled across the moat. The wax doll bobbed in the waves. The face of
Lady
Catherine seemed to smile as if she was enjoying Alys' fear.
'Sink,
damn you!' Alys dropped to her knees on the frozen bank, leaning out
towards
the bobbing doll. 'Sink down! Go down!'
The
fitful
little wind blew the doll closer inshore. 'Go down!' Alys breathed.
'Drown!' At
once she caught herself. 'Oh God! I didn't mean that!' she said. In a
frenzy of
sudden anxiety she reached out towards the little doll. 'I meant the
doll to
sink, that's all!' she said, as if she were explaining herself to the
darkness
all around her. 'I didn't mean drown. I just want to be rid of it.'
The
breeze was taking the doll away. At the same moment Alys heard someone
hammering on the outer gate: servants coming to work, demanding
admission.
Alys
bunched up her nightshift in one hand and stepped into the glassy cold
water.
She gasped at the icy touch and reached out towards the little doll. It
bobbed
out further, just beyond her reach. 'I've got to get it,' she said.
She
gritted her teeth and stepped out a little deeper. The water was
swirling
around her knees. Her feet were aching to the very bones with the cold.
Something slimy and icy flickered across her calf. 'I've got to get
it,' she
said again.
The
doll
bobbed out further. Her little waxen white head turned away from Alys
as if she
were obstinate, as if she were playful.
'Come
here,' Alys said. She clamped her teeth together to stop them from
chattering,
the cold seemed to be eating away at her feet, her legs, and now up to
her
thighs as she stepped further out.
The
little doll bobbed in the winter dawn breeze and the face turned back
to Alys.
The doll was smiling at her.
Alys
took one step further out and the little doll's smile widened as if it
were
about to burst into tinkling, malicious laughter. Her little arms came
out
above the water, she reached towards Alys. Alys stretched, her fingers
just
fractions of an inch away from the little wax hands. Alys took one more
step
forward and then stumbled on the greasy rubbish of the underwater bank
of the
moat. She heard the doll's tiny peal after peal of laughter as the
steep side
of the moat suddenly plunged downwards and fell away beneath her feet.
Enticed
into the depths of the moat Alys dropped like a stone into the slimy
icy water,
her scream cut short as water rushed into her mouth. Her hand closed
over the
little doll, her other hand was clenched on the purse. She thrashed
helplessly
in the water.
Alys
had never learned to swim, she sank and then bobbed up gasping for air
in a
frenzy of panic. When her face broke free of the water she snatched at
a breath
but then choked helplessly and felt herself going down again.
The
cold was her enemy. The icy green waters of the moat were eating her,
her legs
had gone numb and her thrashing thighs were powerless. Deep in her
belly the
cold moved in. Alys sank beneath the water and came up, coughing and
retching.
She opened her mouth to scream and a wave of icy green water swept into
her
face.
'No!'
Alys cried out. She snatched for a breath but it was water she gobbled
and it
rushed into her lungs and weighed her down, thrust her under the
surface. Alys
choked and retched and breathed in a lungful of water. Then suddenly
there were
a pair of hard hands on her arm, and then under her armpit.
'Got
you, wench,' a voice said from far away. Painfully, Alys was dragged from the water and
beached, whooping
and vomiting on the bridge. 'There, lass, there,' the man said. He
flung his
cape around her and rubbed her roughly, drying her and warming her at
the same
time.
'Holloa!'
he shouted towards the guardroom. 'Let us in!'
He
scooped Alys into his arms and carried her into the guardroom where a
frowsy-faced lad threw open the door. 'Lass tried to drown herself,' he
said
tersely. 'Get some hot mead for her, quickly. And a sheet to wrap her
in. And
another cloak.'
The
lad
went running. Alys, hidden in the man's cloak, retching and vomiting,
fumbled
with her shift and thrust the dangerous little doll into her purse with
the
others.
The
man
held her. Water poured from Alys' mouth, she wept moat water, she
pissed
wetness into the wet shift, and her urine was as icy as the rest.
The
man
thumped her hard on the back and Alys struggled for breath, caught a
gulp of
air and then vomited a basin of water. 'Head down,' he said.
Water
gushed from Alys' nose, her hair stuck like waterweed to her icy face.
Remorselessly he held her, head down, until she had stopped choking,
then he
lifted her upright and thrust her into the chair and chafed her hands.
The
lad
burst in with a steaming jug and a billowing sheet. 'Good,' the man
said. 'Wait
outside.' He ripped Alys' nightshift from hem to collar and rubbed her
body
hard with the warm sheet. Her skin was rough with gooseflesh and her
feet and
fingers were blue. From thigh to ankle she was bleeding sluggishly from
a
hundred little cuts and scratches from the rubbish in the moat. Then
the man
wrapped her tight in his thick cloak, sat her in the chair, and held a
mug of
hot mead to her mouth.
Alys
twisted away. The liquid was scalding. But he held her again and forced
her to
drink. It went down her sore throat like liquid fire. 'Here, don't I
know you?'
the man asked. Alys blinked up at him. Her teeth were chattering so
badly and
she was shivering so hard she could hardly make him out.
'Father
Stephen,' she said, when she recognized the priest. 'It's me, Alys.
Lady
Catherine's woman. Lord Hugh's clerk.'
'More
mead,' the priest commanded. He handed her the mug and Alys wrapped her
hands
around it. She was shuddering with deep chilled shivers.
'Drink
it,' he said. 'I insist. It'll drive out the cold. You're looking
better
already.' Alys nodded. 'I'm grateful you were there,' she said. He
frowned.
'Why did you do it?' he asked gently. 'It's a painful death, a nasty
way to go.
And hell at the end of it, for sure.' Alys nearly denied it, then she
caught
herself. 'I was afraid,' she improvised quickly.
'After the ordeal ... Lady Catherine is suspicious of me
... I am
afraid of another ordeal, or another. She can make what claims she
wishes
against me. I could not sleep in the night and then I woke full of
dread. I did
not know what to do.'
Her
teeth chattered as if denying the lie. Alys clenched them on the mug
and
sipped.
He
looked distraught. 'Child, I had no idea,' he said. 'I am to blame for
this! I
had no idea that the lady's personal vengeance against you went so
deep. I
would never have allowed an ordeal to satisfy mortal malice! It's a sin
to use
the ordeal to pay some grudge. I should have known! And to drive you to
despair!' He broke off and took two swift strides down the room.
Alys
pushed her hand through her hair and squeezed out some of the icy
water. She
watched him, trying to measure his mood and the extent of her danger.
'You
must confess,' he said. 'Confess and pray for the sin of attempting to
take
your life. It is a mortal sin, God forbids it by name. You must wrestle
with
your despair and your fear. And I will also ask you to forgive me. I
have been
too rigorous. I have sought for wrongdoing too eagerly. It is a sin.'
He
thought for a moment. 'It is the sin of vanity,' he said. 'I have been
proud of
my record of witch-taking, of hunting heresy. Many have come before me
and few
have escaped justice. But I must guard against pride.'
'I am
innocent,' Alys said eagerly. 'And I was afraid that Catherine would
force me
to another ordeal. That you would support her and question me. And that
some
mistake - some innocent mistake - would mean my death.'
He
nodded, stricken. 'I have been at fault,' he said. 'I am glad to be a
scourge
to the wicked, but not to an innocent like you. You must forgive me. I
will
never set an ordeal for you again. You can have my word. I will protect
you
against malice. You have proved your innocence, once with the ordeal of
bread,
and once in the moat. For if you were a witch you would have floated
and you
were assuredly drowning when I hauled you out.'
Alys
nodded, and wrapped the cloak a little tighter around her. Father
Stephen
caught the movement and handed her another cup of mead. 'Drink,' he
said. 'And
then you must go to your chamber and make sure you are warm and dry.
Fear no
more, you are safe from any ordeal ever again. I will never try you and
no one
will ever test you while I am near to protect you. You were drowning
like a
Christian, you are no witch.'
Alys
nodded again, a small gleam of satisfaction hidden behind the mug.
'Will
Lady Catherine be awake? Will she trouble you with questions when you
go to
your chamber?'
Alys
glanced at the slit window of the guardroom. It was grey with the
winter dawn.
'She may,' she said. 'She is suspicious of all her women. I have more
freedom
than the others because I serve the old lord. But she watches us close,
and she
fears all of us.'
Father
Stephen nodded. 'She has much to fear, poor lady,' he said. 'Hugo does
not
always use her kindly and the old lord is weary of her complaints. He
has asked
me to speak to my bishop about having her set aside and the marriage
annulled.'
Alys
felt her interest quicken. 'Can your bishop decide?' she asked.
Father
Stephen glanced quickly behind them to see that they were not
overheard. 'Of
course not!' he said. 'The King is the supreme head of the Church. All
matrimonial
decisions go before the Church Court and finally to him. But the young
lord and
Catherine are in close cousinhood, and their grandparents were cousins
also. I
daresay it could be argued that the marriage was invalid.'
Alys
drew a little breath. 'If you were to recommend it, would the bishop do
as you
advised?' she asked.
Father
Stephen smiled. 'I have a degree of influence with His Grace,' he said
smugly.
'But I have not yet decided what advice I should give. I have to pray
and think
on it, Alys. I am Hugo's friend, but in this I have to be God's man
before any
other claim.'
Alys
nodded sympathetically. 'It is a heavy responsibility for you, Father
Stephen,'
she said. Her face was turned up to him, her dark eyes guileless. 'It
would be
so wonderful if you could get the young lord released,' she said. 'The
castle
would be a happier place! And Lady Catherine would be spared the pain
she
suffers now.'
Father
Stephen nodded. 'Marriage is a sacrament,' he said. 'It lasts until God
ends it
- unless it was invalid from the first. There can be no argument about
suiting
a man's or a woman's whim.'
Alys
nodded. 'But no one knows what my lady endures,' she said. 'Dreadful
acts
against her. And she so deep in sin that she glories in them like a
beast.'
Father
Stephen looked appalled. 'That should stop,' he said. 'Whatever the
means, I
should stop that. That is mortal sin.
'Here!'
he said, breaking off. 'You are shivering. Get to your chamber and some
dry
clothes.'
Alys
turned to go.
'Alys,'
he said hesitantly. She turned. 'Swear that you will never think to
kill
yourself again,' he said. 'It is an awful sin, the most dreadful sin.
And it
would lead you to a terrible judgement and an eternity in hell. An
eternity,
Alys! Think of it.'
Alys
bowed her head, the sodden purse with the magic dolls safe in her blue
hands.
'I do think of it, Father,' she said dully. Then she turned and went.
In the
warm chamber the women were still asleep. Alys cast off the cloak and
crept naked
into bed. She stuffed the sodden purse with the candle dolls beneath
her
pillow, and pushed her damp hair away from her face. Then she slept and
dreamed
of the castle as her own, her own ladies calling her Lady Alys, and
Hugo's warm
body sleeping beside her. She turned in her sleep and said his name
very
softly, and smiled. Even when Eliza roughly shook her awake Alys stayed
within
the joyful confidence of her dream. She smiled at Eliza. He loves me,
Alys
thought. He loves me and he has promised to find a way for us to be
together.
'My
lady wants you,' Eliza said dourly. 'She's shouting for you,
complaining you're
late. Best make haste.'
Alys
shook off her lazy contentment, jumped out of bed, threw on her dark
blue gown
and stuffed her hair in a dark blue cap, and fled across the gallery to
Lady
Catherine's bedroom.
'My
lady?' she asked as she opened the door.
Catherine
was sitting up in bed, her fine linen shift torn beyond mending at the
front,
her bedding rumpled.
'Alys,'
she said and bared her yellow teeth in a smile. 'Alys, I have need of
your
skills.'
'Of
course, Lady Catherine,' Alys said evenly. 'What may I do for you?'
'I
think I am with child,' Catherine said. She gleamed at Alys. 'Hardly
surprising
I suppose!'
Alys
nodded, saying nothing.
'My
lord has been insatiable these last weeks,' Catherine said. She licked
her lips
like a gourmet savouring a dish. 'It seems he cannot leave me alone.
And now he
has put me with child.'
'I am
very happy,' Alys said thinly. 'Are you?' Catherine taunted. 'Are you
really? I
find that surprising, Alys. I thought you hoped for a little of Lord
Hugo's
attentions yourself! But he has had eyes for no one but me. Isn't that
true?'
'I
know
he has been much with you, my lady,' Alys said. She could feel anger
rising up
in her and the blood drumming softly in her head. 'All your ladies have
been
aware that my lord has visited you often. We are all glad for your
happiness.'
Lady
Catherine's laugh rippled out into the chamber. 'I'll warrant,' she
said
nastily. 'And you, Alys? Have you given up all hope of him looking your
way?'
'Yes,'
Alys lied easily. 'I am here to serve the Lord Hugh as his clerk and
his
herbalist when he needs me. When he has finished with my services I
will return
to my home. I am a servant to his son, and to you, my lady. Nothing
more.'
Catherine
nodded. 'Yes,' she said, underlining the point. 'You are Hugo's
servant. He
might use you or throw you aside. It does not matter.' Alys curtsied in
silence.
'He
can
have you if he wishes,' Catherine said simply. 'It does not matter now.
I have
been jealous of you and I was afraid you would take him from me. But
now I am
with child no one can take him from me. He can lie with you if he
pleases, he
can take his pleasure on you or desert you. But I have won him, Alys.
Do you
understand? He is mine now. I am the mother of his child. And neither
the old
lord nor Hugo will think of you as anything but a diversion.'
Alys
kept her gaze down on the floor. When Catherine fell silent she looked
briefly
up.
'Do
you
understand?' Catherine asked. Alys nodded. She could not speak, she was
willing
the news to be untrue. She was willing Catherine to be barren, to stay
barren.
She did not need Catherine to tell her that if Hugo had a legitimate
heir then
Catherine had won and Hugo's soft-voiced promises of last night would
be set to
one side.
'I
have
need of you,' Lady Catherine said in a different tone. 'My own mother
is dead
as you know, and I have no women friends to advise me. My old wet-nurse
died
last year and there is no one in the castle who can tell me how to care
for
myself and the health of the child. Lord Hugh swears you are skilled
with
herbs, the best healer he has ever known. I expect you to care for my
health
and advise me. And I will expect you to deliver my child. I want a son,
Alys.
You will be responsible.'
Alys
moved a little closer to the high bed. 'My lady, you need a physician
and a
midwife,' she said. 'I have had some experience in childbirth but for
your health
and the health of an heir you should have a physician.'
Catherine
shrugged. 'Nearer the time I shall have one attend me,' she said
arrogantly.
'But in the meantime I shall have your advice and your constant
attendance. You
have attended births, I suppose? You are skilled?'
Alys
shook her head stubbornly. 'I am only sixteen,' she said. 'My Lord Hugh
has
been kind enough to trust to my herbs but he had thrown out his medical
advisers and would see them no more. It pleased him to use me instead
of them.
But you have no quarrel with the wise women and midwives around the
castle, my
lady. You should speak with them.' She did not say that she would
rather die
than care for Catherine but the dislike between the two women was as
tangible
as Catherine's sprawling, half-naked body.
'What
about that old woman at Bowes?' Catherine asked, prolonging the
discussion for
the pleasure of watching Alys' pale tense face and hearing Alys
searching for
excuses. 'Would she care for me well?'
Alys
fell into the trap. 'My cousin Morach?' she asked. 'Oh yes, indeed. She
is
skilled. She has attended many births. She could come and see you at
once and
care for you. She is an excellent midwife.'
Catherine
nodded. 'I'll have you both then,' she said in careless triumph. 'I'll
send the
soldiers to take Morach up. She can live with us here. She can guard my
health
and you can both serve me. I shall have you wait on me night and day,
Alys. And
now I want you to look at me and tell me. Am I with child? Is it a boy?'
Alys
dipped
a curtsey, hiding her anger and her fear, and went to fetch her little
bundle
from the women's room.
'What
did she want you for?' Eliza demanded as soon as she stepped in the
door. 'Is
she foul today? Hugo stayed with her all night, did he not?'
'I
don't know,' Alys said. 'He's not with her now. She's full of joy. She
thinks
she's with child. I am to confirm it.'
The
other women exclaimed, Eliza's eyes grew round. 'At last,' she said.
'Hugo's
done his duty at last.'
'Yes,'
Alys said drily. 'Praise be. And what an act of love it was!'
'Is it
true?' Eliza asked. 'She's had false alarms before. And if ever spite
could
stop a baby settling then she would be the one to do it.'
'I
doubt it's true,' Alys said. 'She has every reason to lie. But I'll
tell her
"yes" or "no". And I'll tell the old lord too. If she is
lying, I will tell him at once.'
'Hush!'
Ruth said instantly. 'Go along, Alys, she'll be waiting for you. Shall
I come
too?'
'Yes,'
Alys said. 'She's been scratching at me until I am heart sore. Come
with me,
Ruth, and she'll mind her tongue.'
'What
are you going to do?' Ruth asked curiously as Alys took the prayer-book
and the
crystal from her bundle.
'I
shall see if I can dowse for a baby,' Alys said easily. 'Don't look so
amazed,
Ruth, it's a common enough skill.'
She
led
the way back into Lady Catherine's room. Catherine was looking at
herself in a
beaten silver hand-mirror.
'What
is this mark on my neck?' she asked Alys. Alys looked a little closer.
'It is a
bruise, my lady,' she said evenly. She could see the marks of teeth. He
had
bitten her and sucked her. Hugo had done this.
Catherine
sighed luxuriously. 'How could it have come there?' she asked
innocently. 'What
sort of bruise, Alys?'
'A
bite,' Alys said briefly.
'Ohh,'
Catherine sighed. 'I had forgotten. That was Hugo. He snatches at me
and he
bites me and sucks me as if he would eat me up. We will have a lion,
not a son,
Alys! For he mounts me like a lion!'
Alys
nodded coolly, but her cheeks were scarlet. Catherine did not miss the
signs of
jealousy. She rarely missed anything.
'Are
you a virgin still, Alys?' she asked. 'I could forward the match we
spoke of.
The young soldier is still willing. I should hate to think of you
becoming old
and dried-up and unloved. To have a man mad for you is a wonderful
thing, Alys.
When Hugo comes to my bed I feel as if I am a queen. And when he takes
me in
his arms and covers my whole body with his kisses! I can't tell you,
Alys, how
it feels! It is a pleasure so deep that it feels wicked - like a mortal
sin.'
Alys
felt her anger rising like vomit in her throat. 'You are blessed in
your love,
my lady,' she said. 'Now can you tell me when you last had your times?'
Catherine
frowned at the interruption. 'Five, no, six weeks ago,' she said.
'Are
you at all sick?' Alys asked. Catherine shook her head.
'Are
your breasts tender or enlarged?' Alys asked. She felt her cheeks
stinging with
heat as she forced herself to speak coolly about Hugo's love-making
with his
wife - the fat sow, Alys said inwardly.
Catherine
laughed. 'Of course they are tender!' she said rejoicingly. She opened
her
shift so Alys could see her. Her large, brown-tipped breasts were
marked on
both sides with thin red strips, like little lines of blood blisters.
Ruth
gasped. 'Are you hurt, my lady?' she asked. Catherine closed her eyes,
revelling in the memory. 'Oh, he hurt me,' she said, her voice very
low. 'He
bound me, and tied me, and mounted me from behind.'
She
opened her eyes; they were dark with remembered desire. 'Don't you wish
he
would do that to you, Alys?' she asked. 'Wouldn't you love him to cover
you? To
mount you like a wild stallion on a willing mare?'
Alys
cleared her throat. Her mouth was suddenly very dry. 'No, my lady,' she
said
simply. 'The ordeal you forced on me has cleared my head as well as my
character. I no longer look for the young lord. In any case,' she said
icily,
'my tastes do not run that way. I should never revel in pain.
'Now,
I
shall lay my hand on your belly and see if I can dowse for a baby, my
lady,'
she said. 'It is the same as water-divining, many people do it. There
is
nothing to fear.'
Catherine
nodded, irritated at the coolness of Alys' voice. 'I fear nothing,' she
said.
'No one can hurt me but him.'
Alys
took out the prayer-book and muttered a few words of nonsense in Latin.
She did
not dare to bless the work as she used to do. The memory of the fragile
communion wafer which had to be torn into pieces like skin before it
could burn
was still very bright. She dared not invoke the name of the Lord or His
Mother.
But she waved the prayer-book around and whispered low so that no one
could say
later that she had done the work unblessed.
She
touched Lady Catherine's round belly with her icy small hands and
noticed with
malicious satisfaction how the slack flesh quivered to her touch.
'This
woman is with child,' she said aloud. The crystal revolved in a lazy
right-hand
arc. Alys bit her lip and tasted her own blood, as warm and salty as a
tear.
Catherine was pregnant.
'What
does it say? What does it say?' Catherine asked.
'You
may be with child,' Alys said slowly. She longed with all her heart to
deny the
child. But nothing would stop it growing in Catherine's fat belly. It
could not
be wished away. 'Ask if it's a son!' Catherine demanded. 'The child is
male?'
Alys asked. The crystal swung again.
Catherine
gave a little delighted crow. 'Is that yes? Is that yes?' she demanded.
Alys
nodded.
'Send
for the young lord!' she said to Ruth. 'You stay here,' she said to
Alys. 'He
may want you.'
Alys
gathered up her crystal and prayer-book and went over to the window.
Outside a
brisk wind was blowing, bringing snow down from the moor. The little
herb and
flower garden of the inner manse below was drifting with whiteness,
snow
swirling between Alys in the second storey and the frozen ground below.
Out on
the moors Morach's cottage would be white, with great drifts banked up
against
the door. If it snowed hard and long the soldiers from the castle would
not be
able to get through. Alys had a great longing to be out there, in the
cold and
loneliness of the moor. Anything rather than be here, in this little
hot room
with this spiteful, corrupt woman, and with the man she loved obeying
his
wife's bidding.
Hugo
walked in without knocking. Catherine did not cover herself. Her shift
was
open, her breasts splayed wide, her belly showing. The fine linen sheet
of her
bed only half covered the bush of hair. She looked at Hugo as if she
expected
him to start love-making again, before Alys, before Ruth.
'You
sent for me, lady?' he said tersely. He did not look at Alys.
'I
have
some news for you,' she said. She patted her bed. 'Come and sit a
little
closer.'
Hugo
made no move. 'Your pardon, Madam, but I cannot wait,' he said. 'I am
riding
out hunting today and they are waiting for me. If I delay, the horses
will be
chilled. There's a bitter wind.'
'Stay
home then,' Catherine said invitingly. She shrugged down a little
deeper in the
bed. The nipples on her breasts had hardened at the sight of him. Alys
found
herself staring. 'I can find sport to amuse you here,' Catherine
suggested.
Hugo
nodded. 'Tonight, Madam,' he said. 'I have promised my father venison
for his
dinner next week. I must hunt it today.'
'I'll
be quick then and tell you our news. I have good news for you. I am
with child
and Alys here thinks it is a boy.'
There
was a stunned silence. Hugo still did not look at Alys.
'That
is the best news I could hear,' he said levelly, his voice under tight
control.
'I congratulate you, Madam. I hope we have a healthy son. And now I
must go-'
'Where
are you riding?' Catherine asked. 'Bowes Moor,' he said from the
doorway. 'Oh,
stop then!' she said, as if she had just thought of it. 'Stop, my lord.
Go to
Alys' kinswoman's cottage and bid her come to the castle. Send one of
your men
back with her. I need her skill, Alys needs her advice. Isn't that
true, Alys?'
'Morach
has greater skill than I,' Alys said. She did not look up from the
floor. She
knew Hugo was not looking at her. 'But you will have no need of her
until the
birth, my lady, in October. You should summon her then.'
'My
lord would want me to take no chances with my health,' Catherine said
positively.
Hugo
shook
his head. 'Whatever you wish, Madam. I can fetch her today. But perhaps
she
will not be ready to come.'
Catherine
opened her pale eyes very wide in surprise. 'Then take her, my lord,'
she said
simply. 'If we agree that we need her, what else should we do?'
Hugo
bowed. 'Very well, my lady,' he said and turned for the door again.
'You
have not said good day to Alys,' Catherine said silkily. 'She will be
indispensable to me now. You must treat her with courtesy, Hugo!
Whatever
jade's tricks she may have played in the past, she is my favourite
lady-in-waiting now!'
With
an
effort he turned. He met Alys' inscrutable blue gaze.
'Of
course,' he said coldly. 'Forgive me.' The lines at the roots of his
brows and
the corners of his mouth were deep. 'Good day, Alys.'
'Good
day, Lord Hugo,' Alys replied. She felt a deep coldness as if the
waters of the
moat had seeped from her belly through all her limbs. There would be no
chance
of displacing Catherine now. There would be no annulment of the
marriage, there
would be no love-making in the big, well-lit chamber. Hugo would never
sleep
the night in comfort at her side. Catherine had won. And it was Alys'
own magic
that had helped her to it.
Hugo
met Alys' eyes in one hard angry look, and then he turned and was out
of the
door before Lady Catherine could detain him any longer.
'Fetch
my rose and cream gown, Alys,' Lady Catherine said contentedly. 'He
loves me in
that colour. And call a servant to bring hot water and hot sheets. I
will have
a bath. He loves me sweet-scented.' Alys curtsied like a servant and
did as she
was bid.
Alys
was surprised to find she was eager to see Morach.
She
waited around the outer gateway for the soldiers who would bring Morach
back
from Bowes Moor. It was a bitterly cold afternoon, with a sulky
half-light of
dense greyness. The snow-bearing grey clouds lay belly-down over the
grey
forbidding walls of the castle. The mist in the moat was white-grey,
the
slivers of snow whirling constantly in the wind were the only source of
light
in the world. Alys wrapped her cloak closely around her and held her
cold hands
up inside her sleeves.
She
heard them before she saw them. The rattle of hooves on the cobbles and
then
the hollow sound of them crossing the drawbridge. She stepped out of
the
archway as the man pulled his horse to a standstill and tossed the
bundled
Morach down as if he were glad to be rid of her.
'There,
old lady!' he said. 'Have done spitting at me! Here's Alys come to
greet you
and to show you your quarters. Blame her for fetching you away from
your smoky
fireside. Don't blame me!'
'Hello,
Morach,' Alys said.
Morach
shook herself down and pulled her shawls around her bent shoulders.
'Alys,'
she said. She looked at the girl critically, noting the strain on her
white
face.
'Hard
times,' she said. It was not a question.
'I am
sorry if they brought you against your will.' Alys said. 'It was Lady
Catherine's idea and order. Not mine.'
Morach
nodded. 'With child, is she?' she asked.
Alys
nodded.
'It
was
the dolls did it?' Morach confirmed.
Alys
drew Morach into the shelter of the wall and put her mouth close to her
ear.
'I
don't know,' she said. 'How can you tell? Hugo said he went to her for
choice,
but he never went to her like that before I did the spell. And there
was
something so ...' She broke off. 'Something very unnatural about the
way they
are together.'
'Unnatural?'
Morach asked with a sharp laugh. 'Since when could you limit Nature,
child?
What d'you mean? That he mounts her like a dog? That he beats her? That
he
blows his hunting horn when he comes?'
Alys
gave an involuntary giggle. 'Not that!' she said. 'But the rest. And he
couples
with her when they are tied together with a strip of linen. I tied the
dolls
together with a ribbon. D'you think this is my doing?'
Morach
shrugged, stoical. 'Could be,' she said. 'Could be just his nature.
Take me in,
child, I am cold.'
Alys
nodded at the guard and held Morach's arm and little bundle as she took
her
across the outer manse, over the inner drawbridge which spanned the
ghostly,
mist-filled moat, and across the dripping garden of the inner manse,
then into
the main body of the castle. She led Morach through the great hall
without
stopping, though Morach dawdled and looked all around her.
'Tell
me of the household,' she said as Alys tugged her onward. 'This is Lord
Hugh's
hall?'
Alys
nodded.
'I've
been here before when I was a witness in a case of theft against Farmer
Ruley,'
Morach said. 'The old lord sat behind the table on his great carved
chair.'
'He
holds the quarterly court here,' Alys said tersely. 'And he has dinner
and
supper here.' She drew Morach up the steps to the dais and opened the
tapestry
at the rear of the little stage. 'This is where we come in,' she said.
'This
lobby outside is where we wait for the lords and my lady if we are too
early.
Sometimes they gather here and talk.' She nodded to one doorway. "This
way
leads to Lord Hugh's round tower where his room is, his soldiers, and
where the
young lord sleeps.' She drew Morach up the flight of stairs to their
left.
'These are the stairs up to the gallery, the ladies' gallery which is
set above
the hall. These are the women's quarters - we stay here. You're not
welcome in
the round tower except by the lords' command.'
Morach
nodded, following Alys up the flight of stairs, examining the
tapestries which
hung on either side.
'I am
to have a new room to share with you,' Alys said. 'But we are still
housed in
the women's quarters. Lady Catherine sleeps off the gallery, the other
women
share a room opposite, and we are to have a new little room next door.
They
used to store lumber in it; I told them we needed space to distil herbs
and
make our goods. I'd rather we could have been in the round tower with
the old
lord. But Catherine watches me close.'
'Because
of the young lord?' Morach asked, her breath coming short as they
climbed the
stairs.
Alys
nodded. 'She was jealous,' she said in a sudden rush. 'And she put me
through
an ordeal. She was trying to get rid of me, Morach. Hugo had told her
that he
loved me. And last night we were alone together and he promised ... he
promised
.. . ' Alys broke off, her face hard with grief. 'None of it matters
now,' she
said unsteadily. 'It does not matter what he said to me, nor what plans
we
made. I dreamed of being his lady here. But it meant nothing. She is
with child
now. Her position is untouchable.'
Morach
nodded. Alys led her into the ladies' gallery and opened the door in
the
right-hand corner of the room. 'Lady Catherine's chamber is opposite,'
she said
gesturing. 'It overlooks the inner courtyard, it's warmer. The other
women
sleep next door to us, looking out over the river. Our room matches
theirs. We
look out over the river too.'
Morach
stepped
inside and looked around. 'A bed,' she said with satisfaction. 'I've
never
slept in a bed.' 'Halfa bed,' Alys said warningly. 'We're to share.'
'And a
good fire and a chest for our things,' Morach said, making a rapid
inventory of
the room. 'A little mirror and a cupboard. Alys, this is greater
comfort than
the cottage for the winter.'
'And
greater danger,' Alys said warningly. 'The ordeal was no jest.'
Morach
cocked a bright, unsympathetic eye at her. 'You lied your way clear,'
she
stated.
Alys
nodded. 'I paid a price,' she said, her voice very low. In her mind she
could
still see the undamaged consecrated wafer which she had chewed,
swallowed and
then vomited up into the hearth without marking it. 'I am outside the
grace of
God,' she said. 'That was when I commanded the dolls.'
'The
only thing to do,' Morach said briskly. 'If one seigneur will not
protect you -
you have to seek another. How else could you survive? If you are
outside the
grace of your God then you have to use magic. You might as well go out
into a
storm in your shift. You need some power around you.'
Alys
nodded. 'Hugo promised to protect me,' she said. 'Only last night he
swore that
he loved me - he has said he would give up Catherine, even the castle
itself to
be with me. It is as you foretold, Morach, and as I dreamed. He said he
would
set Catherine aside for me. And I said I would give up magic, he and I
are
safer without it.' Morach flapped a dirty, dismissive hand. 'All these
promises,' she said with mocking respect. 'But now he knows that his
wife is
with child.'
Alys
nodded. 'Yes,' she said dully.
'Spoken
to him since?' Morach asked brightly.
'No,'
Alys said. 'Anyway, we weren't alone.'
'Gave
you a sign, did he? Tipped you the wink? Caught you on the stairs and
said
"never fear, sweetheart!'"
'He's
out hunting,' Alys said defensively.
'Sent
you a message to say that even though the rich Lady Catherine is
carrying his
son and heir, you are still his love and the promises stand? That he
will send
her away and put you in her place?'
Alys
shook her head dumbly.
Morach
gave a cracked laugh. 'Better pray for a stillbirth then,' she said
agreeably.
'Or an idiot, or a weakling, or a sickly girl from a ruptured womb that
can
never bear child again? What'll it be, Alys? Something a little
stronger than
prayer? A little spell to make Catherine miscarry? Herbs in her dinner?
Poison
on her sheets to make her skin swell and blister, to pox the babe as it
comes
out?'
'Hush,'
Alys said, glancing towards the thick door. 'Don't even speak of it
here,
Morach. And don't think of it either. I've come too close to my power
already.
I've stood inside the pentangle. I've felt my power from the soles of
my feet
to my fingertips.'
Morach
breathed a deep sigh of pleasure. 'You came to it,' she said. 'At last.'
'I
don't want it,' Alys said in a passionate whisper. 'I felt the power of
it and
the delight of it and I loved it. I know what you mean now, Morach, it
was like
the strongest wine. But that will not be my way. I will trust Hugo. I
will
trust to what he promised. And I will keep my promise to him to rid
myself of
magic. I want rid that power, I want to be an ordinary woman that can
be bedded
by an ordinary man and feel delight, as great as Catherine feels, when
he has
her. I want that life and those pleasures. Not yours.'
Morach
chuckled to herself as if it did not much matter.
'I
will
keep faith with Hugo,' Alys said. 'However hard it is over the next few
months.
Even if he wavers. I will keep faith. We have made promises. I have
given him
my love, I shall stay true to him.'
Morach
shrugged dismissively. 'Maybe,' she said, unimpressed. 'But what of the
dolls?
Are they safe?'
'I
want
rid of them,' Alys said in a whisper. 'I threw one in the moat last
night, but
it floated. I had to go in and get it out. It nearly drowned me,
Morach. It was
the doll of Lady Catherine and I felt that it dragged me in. I felt it
wanted
me drowned. I heard it laugh as I went down. I heard it laugh, Morach!
I want
rid of the dolls. You must take them back.'
Morach
pulled a stool up to the fire and looked into the flames for a moment.
When she
looked up her old face was sallow. 'They're yours,' she said. 'Your
candles,
your commands, your dolls. I'll not have them around me. I'll not claim
them.
I'm not surprised they tried to drown you. There's a shadow around them
that I
can't clearly see. But it looks like water.'
'Much
water?' Alys asked. She looked in the fire, like Morach. All she could
see were
the dark squares of turf and the red embers.
'A
lungful is enough,' Morach
said
dourly. 'Too much
if it is your lungs.
Anyway, the dolls are yours.' 'Can I bury them?' Alys asked. Morach
shrugged.
'You might do. The shadow I see is Water not Earth.'
'Can I
throw them on the fire and let them melt and burn?'
Morach
put her head on one side and looked at the fire. 'It's a perilous
gamble,' she
said.
'What
am I to do with them then?' Alys demanded in irritation.
Morach
laughed unkindly. 'You should have thought of that first,' she said.
Alys
waited.
'Oh
well,' Morach said. 'When the weather lifts we'll go up to the moor and
drop
them down one of the caves. If their shadow is water they will have
their fill
then. We'll maybe be able to do some spell to take their power away.
Where
d'you keep them?'
'On
me,' Alys answered. 'In my purse on my girdle. I had no room of my own,
I was
afraid they would be found.'
Morach
shook her head. 'That's not safe,' she said positively. 'You don't want
them
close to you, listening to your voice, hearing your worst thoughts. Is
there
nowhere you can hide them?'
Alys
shook her head, thinking. 'I am nowhere alone!' she said impatiently.
'I am
with someone all day and every day. Even when I am in the herb garden
there is always
someone near by, a servant or a gardener or one of the scullions.'
Morach
nodded. 'Hide them somewhere foul,' she advised. 'In the castle midden
or under
a close stool. Somewhere that not even a child would pry.'
'Out
of
the garderobe!' Alys exclaimed. She pointed to the corner of the room
where a
round hole had been cut into the wall and covered with a wooden lid.
'You take
your ease there,' she said. 'And the shit falls down into the moat. No
one
would search there. I can hang them on a piece of cord from underneath
the
seat.'
Morach
eyed the corner seat. 'That'll do,' she said. 'In time they'll get
marked and
foul. No one will see them. And whatever power your spell has laid on
them I
cannot see them hexing your Lord Hugo to hang outside the castle wall
while you
shit on his head.'
Alys
gave a sudden giggle and her whole face lightened. For a moment she
looked like
the girl who had been the favourite of the whole abbey. 'I'm glad
you're here,'
she said. 'Now I'll call for hot water for you. You'll have to have a
bath.'
Morach
was unruly about bathing, ashamed of being naked before Alys, certain
that
water would make her ill.
'You
smell,' Alys said frankly. 'You smell disgusting, Morach. Lady
Catherine will
never have you near her smelling like this. You're as bad as a dungheap
in
August.' 'Then she can send me back to my cottage,' Morach grumbled
while the
servants came up the stairs with the big bath and the cans of hot
water. 'I
didn't ask for some lout of a man to come riding all over my garden and
snatch
me off to come to help a woman in childbirth for a baby that's only
just
conceived.'
'Oh,
hush,' Alys said impatiently. 'Wash yourself, Morach. All over. And
your hair
too.'
She
left Morach with the steaming bath and when she returned, with a gown
from the
chest, Morach was wrapped in the counterpane from the bed, as near to
the fire
as she could get.
'Folks
die of wetting,' she said dourly. 'They die of dirt as well,' Alys
retorted.
'Put this on.' She had chosen a simple green gown for Morach, a working
woman's
gown with no stomacher and no overskirt; and when she was dressed and
the
girdle tied, and a foot of material stitched up into a thick hem, she
looked
well.
'How
old are you, Morach?' Alys asked curiously. She seemed to have stayed
the same
age for all of Alys' life. Forever bent-backed, forever greying,
forever lined,
forever dirty.
'Old
enough,' Morach said unhelpfully. 'I'm not wearing that damned cap.'
'I'll
just comb your hair then,' Alys said. Morach fended her off. 'Stop it,
Alys,'
she said. 'I may be far from my hearthside, but I don't change. I don't
want
you touching me, I don't want to touch you. I am a hedgehog, not a
coney. Keep
your hands off me and you won't get prickled.'
Alys
recoiled. 'You've never wanted me touching you,' she said. 'Even when I
was a
little girl. Even when I was a baby I doubt you touched me more than
you had
to. I can't remember sitting on your knee. I can't remember you holding
my
hand. You're a cold woman, Morach, and a hard one. And you brought me
up
longing and longing for a little tenderness.'
'Well,
you found it, didn't you?' Morach demanded, unrepentant. 'You found the
mother
you wanted, didn't you?'
'Yes,'
Alys said, recognizing the truth of it. 'Yes, I did find her. And I
thank God I
found her before I had tumbled into Tom's arms for gratitude.'
Morach
gleamed. 'And how did you repay love?' she asked. 'When you found your
mother,
when you found the woman to hold you and kiss you goodnight and tell
you
stories of the saints, and teach you to read and to write? What sort of
a
daughter were you, Alys?'
Alys
turned a white face to Morach. 'Don't,' she said.
'Don't?'
Morach asked, deliberately dense. 'Don't what? Don't say that all this
love
counted for so much that at the first sniff of smoke you were away like
a
scalded cat? Don't remind you that you left her to burn with all your
sisters
while you skipped home at an easy pace? Don't remind you that you're a
Judas?
'I may
be cold, but at least I'm honourable. I decided to feed you and house
you and I
kept my promise. And I did more than that - it suits you to forget it
now. But
I did dandle you and tell you stories. I kept you safe as I promised I
would. I
taught you all my skills, all my power. From your earliest days I let
you watch
everything, learn everything. There's always been a wise woman on the
moor, and
you were to be the wise woman after me.
'But
you were too clever to be wise. You had to find your own destiny, and
so you promised
to love your mother and her God forever; but at the first hint of
danger you
ran like a deer. You ran from her, back to me; and then you ran from
her God,
back to magic again. You're a woman of no loyalty, Alys. It's whatever
will
serve a purpose for you.'
Alys
had turned away and was looking out of the window where the sun was
coming
through the snow-clouds, hard and bright. Morach noted her hands on the
stone
window-sill, clenched until the knuckles showed white. 'I am not very
old,' she
said, her voice shaking. 'I am not yet seventeen. I would not run
again. I have
learned some things since the fire. I would not run now. I have
learned.'
'Learned
what?' Morach demanded. 'I have learned that it would have been better
for me
to have died with her than to live with her death on my conscience,'
Alys said.
She turned back to the room and Morach saw that her face was drenched
in tears.
'I thought that as long as I survived, that was all that mattered,' she
said.
'Now I know that the price I paid for my escape is high, too high. It
would
have been better for me to have died beside her.'
Morach
nodded. 'Because you are now alone,' she said.
'Very,
very alone,' Alys repeated. 'And still in danger,' Morach confirmed.
'Mortal
danger, every day,' Alys said. 'And deeply enmeshed in sin,' Morach
finished
with satisfaction.
Alys
nodded. 'I am beyond forgiveness,' she said. 'I can never confess. I
can never
do penance. I am beyond the pale of heaven.'
Morach
chuckled. 'My daughter after all,' she said, as if Alys' despair was
the stuff
of rich comedy. 'My daughter in every detail.'
Alys
thought for a moment and then nodded. The bowing of her head was an
acceptance
of defeat.
Morach
nodded. 'You may be a wise woman yet,' she said slowly. 'You have to
watch
everything go. You have to see everything slip away from you, before
you can be
wise enough to do without.'
Alys
shrugged sullenly. 'I have Hugo,' she said stubbornly. 'I have his
promise. I
am not a poor old witch on the moor just yet.'
Morach
gleamed at her. 'Oh yes,' she said. 'I was forgetting that you have
Hugo. What
joy!'
Alys
released the grip of her hands. 'It is a joy,' she said defiantly.
Morach
grinned. 'Did I not say so?' she demanded. She laughed. 'So then! When
do I see
her? Catherine. When do I see her?'
'You
call her Lady Catherine,' Alys warned. 'We can go and see her now, I
suppose.
She's sewing in the gallery. But watch what you say, Morach. Not one
word of
magic or she will have us both. She no longer fears me as a rival, but
she
would not resist the temptation to get rid of me, if you gave her the
evidence
to put me through another ordeal.'
Morach
nodded, the old slyness back in her eyes above the green shawl. 'I
don't
forget,' she said. 'I'm not bought with a whore's gown. I'll keep my
silence
until I'm ready to speak.'
Alys
nodded and opened the door. The women were sitting at the far end of
the
gallery with the yellow wintry sun shining through the arrow-slits on
their
work. They all turned and stared as Alys led Morach into the room.
'Anyway,'
Morach said behind her hand, 'it wasn't me that used the magic dolls
was it,
Alys?'
Alys
shot Morach one furious glance and walked forward. 'Lady Catherine,'
she said.
'May I present to you my kinswoman, Morach.'
Lady
Catherine looked up from her sewing. 'Ah, the cunning woman,' she said.
'Morach
of Bowes Moor. I thank you for coming.' Morach nodded. 'No thanks are
due to
me,' she said. Lady Catherine smiled at the compliment. 'Because I
didn't
choose to come,' Morach said baldly. 'They rode up to my cottage and
snatched
me out of my garden. They said it was done on your orders. So am I free
to go
if I wish?'
Catherine
was taken aback. 'I don't... ' she started. 'Well ... But, Morach, most
women
would be glad to come to the castle and live with my ladies and eat
well, and
sleep in a bed.'
Morach
gleamed under the thatch of grey hair. 'I'm not "most women", my
lady,' she said with satisfaction. 'I am not like most women at all. So
I thank
you to tell me: am I free to come and go as I please?'
Alys
drew breath to interrupt, but then hesitated. Morach could take what
chances
she wished, she had clearly decided to haggle with Lady Catherine. Alys
chose
to avoid the conflict. She left Morach standing alone in the centre of
the room
and went to sit beside Eliza and looked at her embroidery.
'Of
course you are free,' Lady Catherine said. 'But I require your help. I
have no
mother or family near to advise me. Everyone tells me you are the best
cunning
woman in all the country for childbirth and cursing. Is that true?'
'Not
the cursing,' Morach said briskly. 'That's just slander and
poison-talk. I do
no curses or spells. But I am a healer and I can deliver a baby quicker
than
most.'
'Will
you deliver mine?' Lady Catherine asked. 'When he is born in October?
Will you
promise to deliver me a healthy son in October?'
Morach
grinned. 'If you conceived a healthy son in January, I can deliver him
in
October,' she said. 'Otherwise ... probably not.'
Lady
Catherine leaned forward. 'I'm certain I have conceived a son,' she
said. 'Can
you tell? Can you assure me? Alys said it was a boy, can you see for
sure? Can
you tell if he is healthy?'
Morach
nodded but stayed where she was. 'I can tell if it is a boy or girl,'
she said.
'And later on I can tell if it is lying right.'
Lady
Catherine beckoned her closer. 'If I want to,' Morach said unhelpfully.
'I can
tell the sex of a child - if I want to.'
There
was a ripple of subdued shock among the women. Ruth glanced over at
Alys to see
how fearful she was of her kinswoman's temerity. Alys' face was serene.
She
knew Morach always drove a hard bargain with a customer and Lady
Catherine's
private score with Alys could not be worsened.
'Alys,
tell your kinswoman to watch her tongue or I will have her thrown to
the castle
dogs,' Lady Catherine said, her voice sharp with warning.
Alys
raised her head from Eliza's embroidery and smiled at Lady Catherine
without
fear. 'I cannot command her, my lady,' she said. 'She will say and do
as she
pleases. If you dislike her you should send her home, there are many
wise women
in the country. Morach is nothing special.'
Morach
cocked an eyebrow at the barb but said nothing.
Lady
Catherine hunched her shoulders in irritation. 'What do you want then?'
she
asked Morach. 'What d'you want, to tell the sex of the child, to
minister to me
in the months of waiting, and deliver me a boy?'
'A
shilling a month,' Morach said, ticking off her requirements on her
fingers.
'All the ale and food I want. And the right to go in and out of the
castle
without any hindrance or question, day and night.'
Lady
Catherine chuckled reluctantly. 'You're an old huckster,' she said. 'I
hope you
deliver babies as well as you bargain.'
Morach
gave her a slow dark smile. 'And a donkey, so I can get to my cottage
and back
again when I need,' she added.
Lady
Catherine nodded. 'Do we have an agreement?' Morach asked. 'Yes,' Lady
Catherine said.
Morach
stepped forward, spat in her hand and held it out to shake. Ruth, who
was
sitting at Catherine's feet, shrank back as if from an infection, but
to Alys'
surprise Lady Catherine leaned forward and took Morach's hand in a firm
grip.
'Funny
old lady, your kinswoman,' Eliza said under her breath
'She's
an old hag,' Alys said, stirred with a sudden unreasonable irritation.
'I wish
she had never come.'
'My
lord was asking for you, Alys,' Lady Catherine said, scarcely troubling
herself
to glance over. 'Lord Hugh is in his chamber. He has some clerk's work
for
you.'
Alys
rose to her feet and curtsied. She glanced over towards Morach. The old
woman
was the only idle one in the room. All of them, even Lady Catherine,
had
needlework or a distaff in their hands. She winked at Alys and hitched
a footstool
a little nearer the blazing fire.
'Your
kinswoman will do well with us,' Lady Catherine said. 'I have some
plain sewing
which you can do, Morach.'
Morach
smiled at her. 'I don't sew, my lady,' she said pleasantly.
There
was another ripple of subdued shock among the women but Lady Catherine
looked
amused. 'Will you sit idle, with empty hands then? While all of us
work?' she
asked.
Morach
nodded. 'I am here to watch over you and the child,' she said grandly.
'I need
to be able to see -with my healer's vision. If you want some fool -'
she smiled
impartially at the busy women ' - some fool to net you a cap, there are
many of
them. There is only one of me.'
Catherine
laughed. Alys did not even smile. She curtsied to Catherine and went
from the
room. Only when she was in the round tower climbing the little turret
staircase
to Lord Hugh's bedchamber did she realize that her jaw had been set
with
irritation and it ached.
Lord
Hugh was seated at a table, a thin, densely written piece of paper
unfurled
before him.
'Alys!'
he said as she came in. 'I need you to read this. It's written small. I
cannot
see it.' 'From London?' Alys asked.
The
old
lord nodded. 'The bird brought it to me,' he said. 'My homing pigeons.
Clever
little birds, through all this bad weather. It must be urgent for my
man to
send them out into snow. What does it say?'
The
letter was from one of Lord Hugh's informants at court. It was
unsigned, with a
code of numbers to represent the King, the Queen, Cromwell and the
other lords.
Lord Hugh had his own methods for making sure that his sovereign sprang
no
surprises on his loyal vassals.
Alys
read it through and then glanced up at Lord Hugh. 'Grave news,' she
said. Hugh
nodded. 'Tell me.'
'He
says the Queen was taken to her bed. She was with child, a boy child,
and he is
lost.'
'Oho,'
Lord Hugh said softly. 'That's bad for her.' Alys scanned the paper.
'Sir
Edward Seymour is to become a member of the privy chamber.' She glanced
at Lord
Hugh. He was nodding, looking at the fire.
'The
Queen blames the miscarriage on a shock from His Majesty's fall,' Alys
read.
'But there is one who says that he heard the King say that God will not
give
him male children with the Queen.' 'That's it then,' Lord Hugh said
with finality.
Alys looked up at him questioningly. 'That's it for the Queen,' he
said,
speaking low. 'It will be another divorce I suppose. Or naming her as a
concubine and returning to Rome. He's a widower now that Catherine is
dead.'
'He
could return to the Pope?' Alys asked incredulously.
'Maybe,'
Lord Hugh said softly. 'Queen Anne is on the order of her going, that
is for
certain. Miscarriage, blame .. .' he broke off.
'He
could restore the priests to their power?' Alys asked.
Lord
Hugh glanced at Alys and laughed shortly. 'Aye,' he said. 'There might
be a
safe nunnery for you yet, Alys. What d'you think of that?'
Alys
shook her head in bewilderment. 'I don't know,' she said. 'I don't know
what to
think. It's so sudden!'
Lord
Hugh gave his short laugh. 'Aye,' he said. 'You have to skip very fast
to keep
pace with the King's conscience. This marriage is now against the will
of
heaven too, it seems. And Seymour's star is rising.'
He
nodded towards a leather pouch of letters. 'These came by messenger,'
he said.
'Scan them and see if there is anything I should know.'
Alys
broke the seal on the first. It was written plainly in English and
dated in
January.
'From
your cousin, Charles,' she said. 'He says there are to be new laws
against
beggary,' Alys read.
Lord
Hugh nodded. 'Skip that bit,' he said. 'You can tell me later.'
'It is
the coldest winter ever known,' Alys read. 'The Thames is frozen and
the barges
cannot be used. The watermen are suffering much hardship, starving for
lack of
work. Some of them have their boats stuck fast in the ice and the boats
are
being crushed. There is talk of a winter fair.'
Lord
Hugh waved a hand. 'Read me that later,' he said. 'Anything which
affects the
north? Any new taxes?'
Alys
shook her head. 'He speaks of the King's accident, a fall while
jousting.'
'I
knew
of it already. Anything else?' 'He suggests that you write pressing
your claim
for the monastery lands which abut your manors,' Alys said. She could
feel her
lips framing each word precisely as she thought of the wide fertile
fields
either side of the river. Mother Hildebrande used to like to walk in
the
meadows before haymaking, smelling the heady scent of the flowers
growing wild
and thick among the grass. On a summer evening their perfume stole
across the
river to the gardens, to the chambers, even to the chapel, like a
sweet,
natural incense. Now these lands were spoil - up for offer.
'He
says, "You and Hugo are well praised for the goods you have sent south
and
for your loyal zeal. Now is the time to prompt the King to reward your
labour.
He is also open to money bids for the land, beneficial leases, or land
exchanges. They are saying that a lease of three lives will pay for
itself over
and over."'
The
old
lord nodded. Twenty-one-year leases,' he said softly. He shook his
head. 'It
would see me out, but what of Hugo? Anything else?'
Alys
turned the page. 'Prices of corn, coal and beef,' she said. 'Prices of
furs and
wine.'
'Anything
else about the north?' Lord Hugh asked. 'No,' Alys replied. 'But the
laws about
vagrants will affect your lands.'
They
were silent for a moment, the old lord looking deep into the fire as if
he
would see his way clear through the changes which were coming.
'This
other letter,' he said abruptly. 'Translate it for me. It's from the
bishop's
clerk and he writes in Latin. Read me it in English.'
Alys
took the paper and drew up her stool to the table. It was a letter from
the
bishop's clerk outlining the acceptable causes and reasons for an
annulment of
the marriage between Lady Catherine and Lord Hugo. Alys felt the sudden
heat
come into her face. She looked up at the old lord. He was looking at
her
quizzically.
'I can
send the old shrew away,' he said. 'Barren old shrew. Send her away and
free
Hugo.' A wide smile as bright as his son's cracked his grave face.
'I've done
it!' he said. 'I've freed Hugo. Now he'll have a plump new wife with a
fat new
dowry and I shall live long enough to see my heir!' Alys' face was
sour. 'You
don't know then?' 'Know what?' he asked, his face darkening. 'Out with
it,
girl, you're my source for women's tattle. You should come to me with
whatever
news you have the moment you get it.'
'She's
with child,' Alys said. 'I suppose that changes everything.'
For a
moment he hardly heard her, then his face lit up with joy. 'With
child!' His
fist banged down on the forgotten, redundant letter. 'With child at
last!' He
threw back his head and laughed. Alys watched him, her mouth pressed
tight.
'With
child at last!' he said again. Then he checked himself. 'Is she sure?
Have you
looked at her? This is no ruse, is it, Alys? Does she think to save her
skin
for another few months with pretences?'
Alys
shook her head. 'She's pregnant. I checked her. And she sent for my
kinswoman,
Morach, who is to stay with us until the birth. They've just struck
their
deal.'
'Boy
or
girl?' the old man asked eagerly. 'Tell me, Alys. What d'you think? Boy
or
girl?' 'I think it's a boy,' Alys said unwillingly. 'Has she told
Hugo?' the old
lord demanded. 'Curse the lad! Where is he?'
'She
told him,' Alys said. 'He's out hunting venison for you, my lord. I
don't know
if he's back yet.'
'He
went out without telling me?' the old lord asked, his face suddenly
darkening.
'He gets the shrew in pup and then he goes out without telling me?'
Alys
said nothing, her hands clasped in her lap and her eyes down.
'Hah!'
Lord Hugh said. 'Not best pleased, was he?' Alys said nothing.
'She
told him this morning and he went straight out?' Lord Hugh checked.
Alys
nodded.
'In a
rage I suppose,' the old lord said ruminatively. 'He was counting on an
annulment. He'll know that's not possible now.' The fire crackled. The
old lord
sat silent in thought. 'Family comes first,' he said finally. 'Duty
comes
first. He can take his pleasures elsewhere - as he always has done. But
now
that his wife is with child, she is his wife forever. The child is well
- d'you
think?'
'These
are early days,' Alys said. Her lips were cold and the words came out
carefully.
'Queen Anne herself can tell you that many a baby is lost before birth.
But as
far as I can tell, the child is well.' 'And a boy?' the old man pressed
her.
Alys nodded.
'That
is well!' he said. 'Very well. Queen Anne or no! This is the nearest to
an heir
that we have ever come. Tell Catherine to wear something pretty
tonight, I will
drink her health before them all. She can come to my room as soon as
she is
dressed. I will take a glass with her.'
Alys
nodded. 'And me, my lord?' she asked. 'These other letters?'
Lord
Hugh waved her away. 'You can go,' he said. 'I have no need of you now.'
Alys
rose from the chair, curtsied and went to the door. 'Wait!' he said
abruptly.
Alys paused.
'Thrust
those papers from the bishop in the fire,' he said. 'We don't want to
risk
Catherine seeing them. She would be distressed. We cannot risk her
distress.
Burn them, Alys, there will be no annulment now!'
Alys
stepped forward and gathered the thick manuscripts into her hands. She
pushed
them into the back of the fire and watched them flame and blacken and
crumble.
She found that she was staring at the fire, her face blank and hard.
'You
can go,' the old lord said softly. Alys dropped him a curtsey and went
out,
closing the door softly behind her. David the dwarf was coming up the
stairs,
his sharp little face curious.
'You
look drab, Alys,' he remarked. 'Are you sick? Or heartbroken? What's
the old
woman doing in the ladies' chamber? Are you not glad to have your
kinswoman
take your place?'
Alys
turned her head aside and went down the stairs without answering.
'Is it
true?' David called after her. 'Is it true what the women are
whispering? Lady
Catherine is in child and Hugo is in love with her, and she is high in
the
lord's favour again?'
Alys
paused on the turret stair and looked back up at him, her pale face
luminous in
the gloom. 'Yes,' she said simply. 'All of my wishes have been
fulfilled. What
a blessing.'
'Amen,'
said David, his face creasing into ironic laughter. 'And you so joyful!'
'Yes,'
Alys said sourly, and went on downstairs.
Hugo
was late from hunting and came to the high table when they were eating
their
meats. He apologized gracefully to his father and kissed Catherine's
hand. They
had great sport, he told them. They had killed nine bucks. They were
hanging in
the meat larder now and the antlers would be brought in for Lord Hugh.
The
hides, tanned, perfumed and soft, would make a cradle, a new cradle for
the new
Lord Hugo.
He did
not once look at Alys, and she kept her gaze on her plate and ate
little.
Around her the babble of excited women's talk swayed and eddied like a
billowy
sea. Morach was silent too - eating her way through dish after dish
with
determined concentration.
When
supper was over both Hugo and the old lord came to the ladies' chamber
and the
women played and sang for them and Catherine sewed as she talked. Her
colour
was high, she was wearing a new gown of cream with a rose-pink
overskirt and a
rose stomacher, slashed, with the cream gown pulled through. In the
candlelight
with her hair newly washed and dressed and her face animated with
happiness she
looked younger, prettier. The old bony greedy look had gone. Alys
watched her
glow under Hugo's attention, heard her quick laughter at the old lord's
jests,
and hated her.
'I
need
to pick some herbs in the moonlight,' she said quietly. 'I must ask you
to
excuse me, my lords, my lady.'
Catherine's
bright face turned towards her. 'Of course,' she said dismissively.
'You may
go.'
The
old
lord nodded his permission. Hugo was dealing cards and did not look up.
Alys
went down the stairs and across the hall, out through the great hall
doors and
into the yard of the inner manse and then turned to her right to walk
between
the vegetable- and herb-beds.
She
needed nothing, but it was good to be out of the hot chamber and under
the icy
high sky. She stood for minutes in the moonlight, holding her cape
tight around
her, her hood up over her head. Then she walked slowly the length of
the garden
and back again. She was not planning. She was not thinking. She was
beyond
thought and plans or even spells. She was hugging to her heart the
great ache
of loneliness and disappointment and loss. Hugo would remain married to
Catherine, they would have a son. He would be the Lord one day and
Catherine
the Lady of the castle. And Alys would be always the barely tolerated
healer,
clerk and hanger-on. Disliked by Catherine, forgotten by Hugo, retained
on a
small pension from the old lord because in that large household one
mouth more
or less made little difference.
She
could marry - marry a soldier or a farmer and leave the castle for her
own
little cottage. Then she would work from sunrise until hours after
dark, bear
one child after another, every year until she fell sick and then died.
Alys
shook her head as she walked. The little hovel on Bowes Moor had not
been
enough for her, the abbey had been a refuge she thought would stand
forever,
the castle had been a step on her way, and her sudden unexpected desire
for
Hugo and his love for her had been a gift and a joy she had not
anticipated.
And now it was gone.
Behind
her the hall door opened and Hugo came out.
'I
can't stay long,' he said in greeting. He took her cold hands in his
warm ones
and held them gently. 'Don't grieve,' he said. 'Things will come out.'
Alys'
white, strained face looked up at him. 'Hardly,' she said acidly.
'Don't
comfort me with nonsense, Hugo, I am not a child.'
He
recoiled slightly. 'Alys, have a heart,' he said. 'We both thought that
you
would be safer here if Catherine were with child. Now she is content
and her
position assured and you and I can be together.'
'In
secret,' Alys said bitterly. 'In doorways, here in the kitchen garden
in
darkness, wary of watchers.'
Hugo
shrugged.
'Who cares?' he demanded. 'I love you, Alys, and I want you. I have
done my
duty by Catherine, she will ask no more. I will get you a house in the
town if
you wish, and spend my nights there with you. We can be lovers at
least! I want
you, Alys, I care for nothing but that!'
Alys
pulled her hands away and tucked them under her cloak. 'I wanted to be
your
wife,' she said stubbornly. 'Your father had a letter from the Prince
Bishop
today telling how an annulment could be done. We were very near to
being rid of
her. I wanted her gone. I wanted to lie with you in the Lady's chamber,
not in
some little house in town.'
Hugo
took her by the shoulders and shook her gently. 'Careful, my Alys,' he
said
warningly. 'You are sounding to me like a woman who wants to leap to
the top of
the ladder. I would have taken you for love, I desire you in my bed. I
would
lie with you in a ditch, on the herbs here and now. Is it me you want
or my
name?'
For a
moment Alys held herself stiff, then she moved into his arms. 'You,'
she said.
He held her tight and the coldness and the pain in her belly melted in
a great
rush of desire. 'You,' she said again.
'We'll
find some way,' Hugo said gently. 'Don't be so afraid, Alys. We will
find ways
to be together, and we will love each other. Don't fret.'
Alys,
held warm and close inside his cloak, rested her head against his
shoulder and
said: 'If she were to die...'
Hugo
was instantly still. 'If she were to die ...' Alys said again. He held
her away
from him and scanned her face, her blue innocent eyes. 'It would be a
tragedy,'
he said firmly. 'Don't think that I would welcome that route away from
her,
Alys. Don't make the mistake of thinking I would permit it. It is not a
strange
thought to me, I admit. I have wished her dead many and many a time.
But I
would never do it, Alys. And the man or woman who hurt Catherine would
be my
enemy for life. I have hated her -but she is my wife. She is Lady
Catherine of
Castleton. I owe her my protection. I command you, I demand that you
keep her
as well and as happy as it is in your power to do. She is a woman like
you,
Alys. Full of desire and longing like you, like any. She may be greedy,
and she
and I may lie together in all manner of perverse ways. But she is not a
bad
woman. She does not deserve death. I will not consider it. And she is
trusting
in your care.' Alys nodded.
'Do
you
swear to protect her?' Hugo asked. Alys met his intent gaze. 'I swear
it,' she
said easily. She felt the arid taste of the empty oath in her mouth.
'I
must
go,' Hugo said. 'They will be watching for me. Meet me tomorrow, Alys,
come to
the stables in the morning, my hunter is sick, you can look at him for
me and
we can be together.' He kissed her gently, quickly, on the mouth and
then he
turned and was gone. She heard the hall door slam as he went inside,
leaving
her alone in the garden.
'If
she
died ... ' Alys said softly to the moonlit garden in the icy light. 'If
she
died he would marry me.'
Next
day Alys could not get away to the stables until just before noon. Lady
Catherine had an ache in her back and ordered Alys to rub it with oils
and
essences. Alys worked on the broad fleshy back with mounting
impatience. Lady
Catherine, prone and sighing with contentment, would not let her go.
Alys'
hands were hard, unloving on the other woman's flesh, drained of their
healing
magic by Alys' spite. She had to restrain an urge to pinch. After she
had
finished rubbing in the oil, Catherine's smooth white back was striped
with
red.
'That
was good, Alys,' she said, in a rare moment of contentment.
Alys
curtsied, collected her oils into her basket and shot from the room
like a
tom-cat. She half threw her basket at Morach and fled for the stairs,
down the
winding stony treads, across the hall, out of the kitchen door and
around to
the stables.
It was
no good. Hugo had left. The simple lad who worked with the horses
smiled his
empty smile at her.
'Where
is the young lord?' she asked abruptly. 'Was he here?'
'Gone,'
the boy said. 'Long, long gone.'
Alys
shivered and snapped her fingers under cover of her sleeves to recall
her from
a shadow of superstition.
'Long,
long gone,' said the lad again.
Alys
turned and went back to the castle. The stall for Hugo's favourite
horse was
empty, he had waited for her only a moment. She ached with resentment
at his
leaving so readily; and disappointment that he could so easily go. Alys
knew
that if she had been waiting for him she would have been there all day.
She
saw
him at dinner at midday and he gave her a rueful grin and a wink but
they did
not speak. In the dying light of the afternoon he took his horse and
his great
deerhounds down the valley, riding fast by the flooding river, and she
did not
see him again until suppertime. Alys sat at the little table with the
other
women and watched the back of Hugo's neck where the dark hair curled.
She
imagined the feel of that silky hair beneath her fingers and how it
would be to
grip the nape of his neck in one hand. She felt as if she could grip
him and
shake him with desire - and with anger too. They left the supper table
early
and Hugo joined them in the ladies' gallery.
'My
back aches again,' Catherine said faintly and Alys watched as she
leaned on
Hugo's arm and walked slowly into her bedroom. As the door closed Alys'
keen
eyes saw Hugo's arm go around his wife's waist. Alys waited for him to
bid her
goodnight and come out again to Alys as she sat with the other women at
the
fireside. The door stayed shut. Alys felt Morach's mocking black eyes
smiling
at her. There was no sound from Catherine's bedroom.
'Aye,
he's very tender all of a sudden,' Eliza said, her mouth muffled by a
thread of
embroidery silk. 'There'll be no more slaps and curses now she's in
foal.'
Alys
looked towards the door again. It stayed shut. 'He's bound to try to
keep her
sweet,' she said unwillingly. 'He has to have an heir, Catherine has to
have
her way - at least in these early months.'
Morach
hawked and spat into the fire. 'He likes it,' she said contemptuously.
'He'll
like the taste of her when she's big with his child. He'll like the
thought of
a baby in her belly. He'll like her breasts getting fatter and the
richness of
her body. Men are just babies themselves. He'll suckle from her breasts
and
roll on her round belly like a new-born infant himself. He's not a man
right
now, he's a little boy with a new toy.'
Eliza
giggled. Alys said nothing. The women sewed in silence, each of them
craning
their heads to hear what passed in the next room.
The
door
opened. 'My lady is tired,' Hugo said. He looked towards Morach. 'You
or Alys,
prepare her a tisane to help her sleep. She needs her rest.'
Morach
nodded towards Alys. Hugo smiled at her, one of his open-hearted sweet
smiles.
'Thank you, Alys,' he said pleasantly. 'You can bring it in when it is
ready.'
Then he turned on his heel and went back to his wife.
When
the tisane was ready Alys gave it to Ruth to take in. She waited by the
fire to
see if Hugo came out again. He did not. That night, for the first time
in their
long, loveless marriage, he stayed in his wife's bed all night long.
For the
first time in her life Catherine slept with her head on her husband's
shoulder
and her brown hair tangled across his chest.
Alys
sat by the fire with the others and sewed. When she went to bed, with
Morach's
warm bulk beside her, she did not sleep. She watched the arrow-slit of
silver
light walk from one end of the chamber to the other as the moon
nonchalantly
traversed the sky. Alys lay on her back, her eyes open, seeing nothing,
thinking nothing. She endured jealousy, as she might endure an attack
of deadly
ague, stoically; sickened to the heart, saying nothing.
The
weather itself was against her, confining her to the castle. March was
wild and
full of rainstorms and flurries of thick wet snow which clogged
doorways and
blew into the west-facing windows, leaving puddles on the stone floors.
The sky
seemed lower than usual and it was dark every afternoon. The castle
seemed to
shrink in on itself, besieged by winter.
Alys
was never alone. Morach shared her bed at night, Lady Catherine ordered
her to
the ladies' gallery very often, and the old lord took to sitting with
them in
the afternoons, so Alys could not escape to his chamber in the round
tower.
Hugo rode out every day, going further and further afield, as restless
as a
mewed falcon. They heard stories of his adventures: of an alehouse
which had
been a nest of poachers burned down and the men and women turned out on
to the
snow-driven moor, of a pitched battle on the highway with some beggars,
of a
small riot in a bawdy house with mummery and masquers and lechery in
the
street.
'He is
a rogue!' the old lord said proudly when he heard of Hugo's ready
violence.
Alys
did not seek Hugo and neither did he summon her. A deep secret gulf of
silence
had opened up between them. She did not waylay him on the stairs, or
even
attempt to catch his eye when he was sitting with Catherine and her
ladies.
Alys waited, like the living water beneath the frozen ice of the river,
for
better times.
He was
gentle with Catherine and she, eating well, sleeping well, attended by
her
ladies and popular with her father-in-law, gleamed with satisfaction.
Hugo lay
with her once or twice, and though the women listened they heard no
screams of
pain and pain-shot pleasure. On those two nights Alys sat up all night
by the
arrow-slit, watching over the white landscape on the other side of the
river,
chilled to the bone by the icy wind which blew off the high moor. All
night she
stared out over the desert of snow, white-faced and wide-eyed as a barn
owl,
seeing nothing. In the morning Morach exclaimed at the ice of her hands
and the
deep violet shadows in folds of skin beneath her eyes.
Towards
the end of the month of March, Hugo came back from his ride, found his
father
in the ladies' gallery and asked him for permission to go away to visit
his
friends in Newcastle. Alys froze and kept her eyes on her sewing.
Catherine was
all smiling interest.
'Of
course you must go!' she said confidently. 'We will be well enough
here! Your
father will guard us and Morach and Alys will keep me well!'
Hugo
smiled at them all. Alys felt his eyes on her and did not look up.
'Then
I
shall go with a clear conscience and come back with a light heart,' he
said
pleasantly. 'And you and all your ladies must make me a list of things
to bring
you from the city.'
'I
should like some silk,' Catherine said consideringly. 'And David will
certainly
need tea and spices.'
'I
shall ride like a pedlar,' Hugo said smiling. 'Alys, can I bring
anything for
you?'
Alys
looked up, her face indifferent. 'No thank you, my lord,' she said
coolly. 'I
want for nothing.'
He
nodded. The other women asked for little fairings, coloured silk
ribbons for a
gown, a purse of spices. Hugo wrote down their requests seriously and
tucked
the list inside his doublet.
I'll
leave at daybreak,' he said. 'So I'll bid you farewell now.' He took
Catherine's hand and kissed it. 'Stay well, my dear,' he said. No one
could
have been deaf to the tenderness in his voice. 'Stay well for the sake
of my
son, and for yourself.'
Alys
got quietly to her feet and left the room. Pausing outside the door she
heard
his farewells to the others and then she went down to the lobby between
the
stairs and the entrance to the round tower where he must pass.
He
came
light-footed down the stairs, whistling.
'Alys!'
he said, as she stepped forward into the light. 'I'm glad you waited
for me.'
There
was a brief silence between them as Hugo assessed Alys' stony face.
'I am
sorry,' he said frankly. 'I know these days have been hard on you. As
hard for
you as for me. I've seen you growing pale and thin, Alys, and it has
cut deep
into me. I need to be away, I need to be away from here, Alys. I am
sick of
these wintry days and these long evenings with women. I know you are in
pain,
watching Catherine as you do. I know how it must hurt you.'
Alys
turned her head away from him, but her cold hand gripped his.
'I
have
to endure this,' Hugo said urgently. 'Catherine is my wife, she is
carrying my
son, I have no choice, Alys. And I cannot long for you and look for
you, and
snatch little moments with you. I want to be either with you or without
you;
this half-life of occasional desire is worse than nothing.'
Alys
nodded unwillingly.
'I
need
to put some leagues between this place and myself,' Hugo said urgently.
'Enmeshed between one duty and another I feel myself being pulled a
thousand
different ways at once. Some days I feel I want to run away!'
'You
are fortunate in having the freedom to run,' Alys said drily.
He
smiled at her. 'Don't scratch at me,' he said softly.
'I am
going away to think, Alys. When I come back I shall tell my father that
you and
I must have some time together. We can make arrangements. We can find
somewhere
for you to live in comfort near by, where I can be with you. I am going
away to
think of how it can be managed. Wait for me.'
Alys
turned her pale, unsmiling face towards him. 'I have to wait for you,'
she said
grudgingly. 'There is nowhere else for me to go. I love you.'
He
beamed at that, but there was no joy in either Alys' face or her voice.
'It
seems I am just a woman like any other,' she said sulkily. 'Neither
your vows
to me nor my magic have kept me safe from this pain.'
'Sweetheart
... 'he started and drew her closer to him. Then the door above them on
the
stairs opened and he dropped her hand and went by without another word.
Alys
looked after him with a desire so sharp that it felt like hatred.
In the
long month he was away he wrote every week to his father and it was
Alys' task
to read his scrawled letters. He spoke of his friend's trading company
- Van
Esselin and Son - and his plans of expansion. He spoke of Lord
Newcastle's son,
and nights of roistering along the waterfront. He wrote well and the
old lord
and Alys would sometimes laugh together in the middle of a letter, when
Hugo
wrote of a struggle which ended in the River Tyne, or a mountebank on a
street
corner with a dancing bear. His letters made him vivid in Alys' mind
and she
wanted to hear his voice tell his stories, and see that sudden smile
warm and
lighten his dark face. She forgot the weeks of longing and looking for
him and
the nightly walk of moonlight across her bedroom wall. She forgot the
sour
taste of curdled desire, and the passion which felt like hatred, not
love.
Instead she laughed with his father and thought - without consciously
thinking
- if he and I were married, it would be like this.
The
old
lord would wipe his eyes and tell Alys to read the section again, and
then he
would laugh again. 'He's a rogue!' he exclaimed. 'But there's no one in
the
world who could resist him! Don't you think so, Alys?'
And
Alys, alone in the tower room with the father of the man she loved,
would lean
back against his chair and nod. 'Irresistible,' she said.
The
old
lord tweaked one of her curls which tumbled from the back of her hood.
'You hot
for him still?' he asked.
Alys
nodded, turned her head and smiled at him. 'I love him,' she said. 'And
he
loves me.'
The
old
lord sighed, his face kindly. 'He has to have his heir,' he said
gently. 'I
know,' Alys said. 'But we can love each other.' 'Maybe,' the old lord
said,
with a lifetime of whoring and loving and fighting behind him. 'Maybe for a while.'
Catherine
had her letters too. He wrote asking after her health every week and
telling
her those things of Newcastle that he judged fit for her ears.
I know
the real Hugo, Alys would whisper to herself while Catherine read his
letters
aloud to the circle of ladies. I know what he was really doing that
night, when
he tells Catherine that they went for a night sail and then early to
their
beds. He writes the truth to his father, and he knows I will read his
letters,
his true letters. Catherine does not know him, not as I know him.
Alys
was happier in the long cold days while Hugo was away. She slept at
nights, a
deep sleep so sweet that she could hardly bear to wake in the morning.
She
dreamed that Hugo was home, that she was wearing Catherine's rose and
cream
gown, that she was leaning on Hugo's arm as they walked in the garden,
that it
was summer, high summer, and the sky was smiling down on them both. She
dreamed
that she was sleeping in Catherine's big bed with Hugo's arm
possessively
around her. She dreamed that she was sailing on Hugo's tall-masted
trader,
sailing to the very edge of the world and Hugo was at the wheel,
laughing with
her, with his eyes screwed up against the glare of the sunlight on the
long
rolling waves. She dreamed that she was taking Catherine's seat at the
high
table in the great hall. Hugo drew back her chair for her because she
was big
with child. All the faces turned towards her were smiling. They were
cheering
her because she was carrying the heir. As she woke she heard them shout
'Lady
Alys!'
Catherine
was happy and busy while Hugo was away. Pregnancy suited his wife. Her
temper
was sweet as fruit and she laughed and sang in the mornings. Her colour
had
risen in her cheeks and she looked rosy when she read Hugo's letters
and came
to the end and said, 'There is a little piece here I will not tell you.
It is
for my eyes only.' Then she would slip the letter in the purse at her
girdle
and pat it, as if to keep it safe.
Alys
would turn her head from that. Catherine would leave the letter spread
out on
her pillow, ostentatiously reading it when Alys was combing her hair,
inviting
Alys to pry. Alys resorted to icy indifference, she would not stoop to
spy on
Catherine's letter and besides, she knew Hugo could promise anything.
Words of
love were light currency to him.
It
means nothing, Alys said to herself softly. He is planning our life
together,
his life with me. He said he needed time to make his plans. And while
he is
planning he is keeping her sweet with a few little words. I
will not
begrudge
her a few little words. They are like nonsense spells. They mean
nothing. They
mean nothing.
'By
God, you look sour,' Morach said cheerfully as they went to bed one
evening.
'Pining for the young lord?'
Alys
shrugged a thin shoulder, jumped into the bed and pulled the covers up
to her
ears.
'Painful,
ain't it?' Morach said. 'This nonsense of love? You'd have done better
to keep
him at arm's length forever than to love him and lose him without even
having
him. You'd have done better to forget your promise to him to surrender
magic,
just as he has forgotten his promise to you.'
'He
hasn't forgotten,' Alys said fiercely. 'You know nothing about it,
Morach. I
haven't lost him. He asked me to wait for him and I am waiting. When he
comes
home it will all be different. I am waiting. I am happy to wait for
him.'
'You
look it,' Morach said ironically. 'You're losing your looks, your face
is white
and strained. You get thinner every day. Your breasts are less and
less, your
belly is as flat as a dice-board. If you wait much longer you'll be
worn out
with waiting.'
Alys
lay down and turned her face to the wall. 'Bank up the fire before you
come to
bed,' she said coldly. 'I'm going to sleep.'
Morach
and Lady Catherine had made a surprising alliance. Every day and every
evening
they chattered and gossiped in the overheated gallery. Alys sat as far
as she
could from the fire and watched the two of them. 'Like a pair of old
hags
together,' she said under her breath
Morach
was not afraid of Catherine like the rest of the ladies; and Catherine,
a bully
by nature, was amused to have met her match. One day Morach insisted on
going
to her cottage though the snow was thick and wet and the sky low and
threatening. Lady Catherine forbade it. 'You can go tomorrow,' she said.
Morach
nodded, and went to her chamber and came out with a cape around her
shoulders
and a shawl over her head.
'I
said
you could go tomorrow,' Catherine said impatiently.
'Aye,'
Morach said, unmoved. 'I could go tomorrow, and I could go the day
after, or
next week. But it's my desire to go today.'
Catherine
snapped her fingers. 'You'd best learn, Morach, that in this castle you
do
things by my desire. Not yours.'
Morach
gleamed her slow secret smile. 'Not I, my lady,' she said. 'I am
different from
the rest of them.' 'I can still have you whipped,' Catherine
threatened. Morach
met her angry look without fear. 'I wouldn't advise it, my lady,' she
said.
Then she turned her back and went from the gallery as if she had
permission to
leave and Catherine had wished her 'God speed'.
There
was a stunned silence and then Catherine burst into loud laughter.
'God's
truth, the old woman will be hanged,' she said. The women chimed in
with the
laughing, exchanging scared glances. Alys alone sat silent. When Morach
came
back in the evening, after having completed her own mysterious
business,
Catherine behaved towards her as if they had never disagreed.
One
day, at the end of March, Hugo sent a letter to Catherine saying he
would be
home within a few days. She flushed pink with pleasure.
'Hugo
is coming home,' she announced. 'And within the week! I have missed
him.' She
smoothed her gown over her rounded breasts. 'I wonder if he will see a
difference in me. What d'you think, Alys?'
Alys
was watching the logs in the fire. 'I expect so, my lady,' she said
politely.
'D'you
think he will desire me as he did before?' Catherine asked. 'D'you
remember
those wild nights when our son was conceived? D'you think he will still
be mad
for me?'
Alys
turned a blank, insolent face towards Catherine. 'Maybe,' she said.
'But you
had best have a care, lady. It would be a sad end to your ambitions if
your
rough games shook the baby out of your belly.'
Catherine
shot a look at Morach. 'That can't happen, can it?' she asked in sudden
fear.
'That can't happen?'
Morach
pursed her lips. 'Depends what you do,' she said. 'Depends how he likes
it.'
Catherine
laughed a ripple of excited laughter. She leaned towards Morach and
whispered
in her ear. Morach chuckled. 'That shouldn't harm the baby,' she said
out loud.
'Not if it pleases you!'
Catherine
put her hand on her heart and smiled broadly. Then the two of them put
their
heads together and whispered like village girls outside an alehouse.
Alys
felt unreasonably irritated with Morach. 'Will you excuse me, my lady?'
she
said rising to her feet. 'I have to read to Lord Hugh before dinner.'
Catherine
barely looked up to nod dismissal. Morach was whispering something
behind her
hand.
'And
then he did what?' Catherine asked incredulously. 'I did not know that
men
could do that. What did his wife say - in heaven's name?'
Alys
shut the door behind her and leaned back against it and closed her
eyes. She
could hear the ripple of laughter even through the massive wood. She
turned
wearily and went down the stairs, through the lobby and up the winding
narrow
staircase of the round tower to Lord Hugh's chamber.
Hugo
was there. He was sitting on a stool at his father's feet as Alys
walked into
the room and he sprang up to greet her. Alys staggered and her face
went white
and then blushed red.
'I did
not think to see you for days yet,' she said. 'Hugo, oh Hugo!'
He
took
her hand and squeezed it tight to warn her to be silent. The old lord
looked
from Alys' thin flushed face to his son's bright smile.
'I
came
home early,' Hugo said levelly. 'I have a great scheme to lay before my
father
and I wanted to see you all again. How is my wife? Is her pregnancy
going
safely?'
'She
is
well,' Alys said. She could hardly speak for breathlessness and she did
not
want to speak of Catherine. She wanted to hold him, to touch his face,
the soft
skin around his eyes, to kiss his merry smile. She wanted to feel his
arms
around her as he had held her that one night, that first night, and his
kisses
on her hair.
'What
is this scheme of yours, Hugo?' the old lord asked. He beckoned to Alys
to
stand behind his chair and she crossed the room to his side and watched
Hugo's
animated face as he talked.
'It's
Van Esselin,' he said. 'He has plans to fit a ship for the longest
voyage they
have ever undertaken -around Africa, even as far as the Japans. He has
the
ship's log from a Dutch pilot that shows a clear passage. I have seen
it, it is
true. And he plans to take goods and baubles to trade all along the way
and to
come back with a cargo of spices and silks and all the rich trade. It's
a great
opportunity for us, Father. I am certain of its success.' Trade?'
'It's
not huckstering in the butter-market,' Hugo said quickly. 'It's
honourable
trade. It's a great adventure, as exciting as a war, as distant as a
crusade.
The world is changing, Father, and we have to change with it.'
'And
what if this great ship sinks?' the old lord asked cynically.
Hugo
shrugged. 'Then we have lost the wager,' he said. 'Van Esselin asks us
only for
a thousand pounds to back him. We can gamble a thousand pounds for the
rewards
this promises to bring.'
'A
thousand pounds?' Lord Hugh repeated incredulously. 'One thousand!'
'But
think of the return, Father!' Hugo said urgently. 'We would get it back
twenty,
maybe fifty times over. If they bring back spices and silks they can
sail into
London and make a fortune in a sale on the quayside itself. Or they can
bring
it back to Newcastle, or even take it up to Scotland. People are
desperate for
spices -think of the prices we pay in the kitchen! This is the way for
us to
make our fortune, not struggling to get our rents from snow-bound
farmers!'
Lord
Hugh shook his head. 'No,' he said slowly. 'Not while I am lord here.'
Hugo's
face grew dark with one of his sudden rages. 'Will you explain to me
why?' he
asked, his voice shaking.
'Because
we are lords, not traders,' Lord Hugh said with disdain. 'Because we
know
nothing of the sea and the trade your friend does. Because our family's
wealth
and success has been founded on land, getting and keeping land. That's
the way
to a lasting fortune, the rest is mere usury in one shape or another.'
'This
is a new world and things are different now,' Hugo said passionately.
'Van
Esselin says we do not even know what lands the ship may find! What
riches it
might bring back! There are tales of countries where they use gold and
precious
stones as playthings! Where they desire our goods above anything else!'
The
old
lord shook his head. 'You're a young man with a young man's ambitions,
Hugo,'
he said. 'But I am an old man with an old man's love for order. And
while I am
alive we will do things in the old way. When I am dead you may do as
you
please. But I imagine that when you have a son of your own you will be
as
unwilling to gamble with his inheritance as I am unwilling to gamble
with
yours.'
Hugo
made an impatient noise and flung himself towards the door. 'I have as
much
power here as a woman!' he shouted. 'I am thirty-two years old, Father,
and you
treat me like a child. I cannot bear it! Van Esselin is a year younger
than me
and he runs his father's company. Charles de Vere's father has given
him his
own house and retainers. I cannot be your lapdog, Sire, I warn you.'
Lord
Hugh nodded. Alys glanced at him, expecting him to fire up, but he was
sitting
very still in thought. 'I understand that,' he said levelly. 'Tell me,
Hugo. When
does this Van Esselin want the money?'
'This
time next year,' Hugo said. He came back towards his father in his
eagerness.
'But he needs to have the firm promise of it by the autumn.'
'I'll
do this for you then,' the old lord said. 'If Catherine has a son
safely
delivered in the October, then I'll find the thousand pounds for you.
And it
shall be your money and your son's money. A gift to celebrate his
birth. You
may do as you wish with it. Buy land in good heart and with set rents,
or throw
it to the winds and the seas with this venture. Let us see how your
judgement
is, when you have a son in your arms to be provided for, another
generation to
come after you.'
'If
Catherine has a son, I have a thousand pounds?' Hugo asked. The old
lord
nodded. 'You have my word,' he said. Hugo stepped quickly towards his
father,
dropped to one knee and kissed his hand. 'I shall make my fortune
then,' he
said delightedly. 'For Catherine is certain she is carrying a boy.
Isn't she,
Alys? You think so, don't you?'
Alys
nodded stiffly. Her neck was tight with strain. 'I'll go to her now and
see how
she fares,' Hugo said delightedly. He bowed to his father, nodded
blithely at
Alys and strode from the room. Alys did not move as the door shut
behind him.
The
old
lord chuckled. 'I shall have some peace in this castle yet,' he
observed. 'I
shall set myself up as a marriage broker. Wait till you see how he
cossets her
now that she means an heir, a future and a thousand pounds for him!'
Alys
moved her stiff lips in a smile, and took up the book she was reading
to him.
Alys
spent the evening on the other side of the ladies' gallery fireplace
from Hugo
and watched with an impassive face as Catherine tapped him on the
shoulder in
reproof at a jest, rested her hand on his shoulder and twisted one of
his dark
curls around her finger.
Alys
was ordered to bring Hugo some more Osney wine from the sideboard. She
went
down on one knee to serve him. He smiled down at her.
'Are
you well, Alys?' he asked under his breath, so that only she could
hear. 'When
I wrote to my father of all my doings I thought of you, reading the
letters. I
wrote to you as well as to him, you know.'
Alys'
hand pouring the wine shook a little and the bottle rattled on the lip
of the
cup.
'When
I
lay with a whore I thought of you, Alys,' he said, his voice very low.
'I
wondered if you were playing with me. If you have played with me all
along, and
with my father, and with my wife. What dark games do you have, Alys?
Have you
truly given up play and magic after all, as you promised?'
He
glanced swiftly round. No one was watching them. 'I went away half mad
for
you,' he whispered. 'Everywhere I went in Newcastle the edge was off my
pleasure. I kept wondering what you would think of a thing, how you
would like
it. And then I was angry with you, Alys. I believe you bewitched me
after all.
I believe you have played with me to spoil my peace.'
'I
have
no magic, my lord,' Alys said stiffly. 'I have a little skill with
herbs,
sickness and childbirth.' She shot a quick look at him from under her
eyelashes, then she stood with the bottle of wine still in her hands.
'And my
peace is spoiled too,' she said.
Hugo
laughed up at her, his white teeth sharp in his smile. 'I'm ready to be
witched,'
he said. 'I'm ready to be tempted! But see how I am placed now, Alys!
There can
be nothing in my life till October -I get everything then. We could
make merry
till then, you and I. But in secret.'
'What
are you saying?' Catherine interrupted. 'What are you saying to my
lord, Alys?
Don't you think she has grown thin, Hugo? Thin and white. I am afraid
we are
not feeding her well enough. She was so pretty when she first came to
the
castle and now she is as boney as a spinster at her distaff!'
The
women
laughed in an obedient chorus. Alys met Hugo's quick scrutiny with a
look of
blank resentment.
'Are
you unwell?' he asked neutrally so that they could all hear.
'No,'
Alys said in a tone as level as his. 'I am weary with being indoors so
much. That
is all.'
'Leave
us now,' Catherine interrupted. 'One of you check that my bed is warm.'
She
shot a look at Hugo. 'Though I will be hot enough in a moment, I
reckon,' she
said in a loud whisper.
Hugo
laughed and took the hand she reached out for him. 'Away to bed, my
lady,' he
said caressingly. 'You must rest for the health of my son. You don't
know what
a fortune I have riding on him!'
Eliza
went into Catherine's bedroom and checked there were fresh herbs on the
floor
and under the pillows. Then she bobbed a half-curtsey to the two of
them before
the fire and she, and all the ladies, went to their rooms.
'Not
so
hot for you these days,' Morach commented as she and Alys stripped off
their
gowns and scurried into the cold bed in their shifts. 'No,' Alys said
shortly.
'Why's that d'you think?' Morach pried. 'I don't know,' Alys said. 'I
wonder
why,' Morach said, undeterred. "The old lord has him fast,' Alys said,
in
sudden impatience. 'He did it today, I heard every word. He will make
Hugo's fortune
if Catherine bears a healthy son. He has promised him a thousand pounds
for his
own free use.'
Morach
gave a low whistle. 'So Hugo's bought off!' she said. 'No future for
you then,
Alys. I reckon that work you did with the moppets worked better than
you
thought!' 'I've wished that away a thousand times,' Alys said. 'Why?'
Morach
asked. 'Because you love him and desire him now? Because you want him
so much
that you will risk everything to lie with him? While you look at him so
coldly
and walk past him without looking back, are you praying he will put her
aside
and come to you; as hot for you, as you are for him?'
Alys
pushed back the covers and jumped down to the cold floor.
'Yes,'
she said through her teeth. She rattled the wood basket and threw a log
on the
fire. 'I am sick to my very soul for him. I cannot eat, I cannot sleep,
and now
tonight he lies with her again, and after this child there will be
another, and
another, and all there will be for me will be the leavings from her
dinner.'
Morach
chuckled delightedly. 'Pass me my shawl,' she said. 'And put on another
log to
bank up the fire. It's as good as the mummers, life in this castle.
You're lost
now she's with child, you know. Even without the money he wouldn't stop
going
with her. He has the taste of her now.'
Alys
threw the shawl to Morach. 'What d'you mean?' she asked. She took a
comb from
the chest of clothes and a steel mirror and started to comb her hair.
It was
shoulder length now, a tangle of brass and gold. Alys picked
impatiently at the
knots.
'The
taste of her?' Morach asked. 'Oh, men are trapped by it. When their
women are
carrying a child. Men see their women's breasts grow fuller, their
rounded
bellies. They like the evidence of their own rutting, even as they do
it. It's
two parts male swagger, and one part something else. Something old,
deeper. And
Hugo has it badly.'
Alys
pulled at her hair mercilessly and coiled it into a rough plait.
'Badly?' she
asked.
Morach
cocked an eyebrow at her. 'Sure you want to hear?' she asked. Alys
nodded.
'He
had
her this afternoon,' Morach said. 'After he had been with his father.
You were
still in the old lord's chambers. He came striding down here and shooed
all the
women out of the room and he took her like he was possessed. If this is
your
magic moppets then they've done their job well. He can't leave her
alone. First
this afternoon and then tonight again.'
Alys'
face was shocked. 'How were they together? Was he as rough with her as
ever? He
was never tender with her?'
Morach
shook her head. 'He didn't bind her this time,' she said. 'But he did
everything else he had a mind to do. He slapped her a little and he
pulled her
hair. Then he made her take him in her mouth. He's careful for the
child so he
would not lie on her. He thrust himself into her mouth and bellowed
like a bull
with pleasure.'
'Stop
it,' Alys said abruptly. 'You're disgusting, Morach. How d'you know all
this?
You're lying.'
'I
watched,' Morach said, smiling, tucking the fine shawl around her
shoulders and
moving the pillow behind her tousled head. 'I needed to know. Of course
I
watched.'
Alys
nodded. Nothing Morach could do would surprise her.
'And
what about her?' Alys said abruptly. 'Why does she permit it? Now that
she has
his child. Why is she still so demanding?'
Morach
chuckled 'She's not demanding - you silly little virgin!' she
exclaimed. 'What
should she demand? She's getting everything a woman could want - and
more than
a decent woman would admit to wanting. She lies there, like a pink soft
mountain, and lets him crawl all over her.'
Alys
scowled. 'He said he would go to her no more once she was pregnant,'
she said.
'He said he had to have a son, and then he would come to me. Then he
said he
would go to Newcastle to think what to do -that he longed to live with
me and
yet he had to keep her sweet. All this time I have been waiting and
waiting.
All this time, Morach! Waiting and waiting for him.'
Morach
looked at her without sympathy. 'Go to him then,' she said. 'You cannot
fight
her whelping heat with your convent coldness. Go to him and tell him
you want
him, and that he's to leave her. Hex him, promise him darkness and
passion.
Pain beyond pain and pleasure beyond pleasure. There are things you
could give
him, there are things you could do, that he has never even dreamed of
with his
little drabs. Tell him you're a witch and that if he comes to you you
can give
him pleasures that mortal men only dream of. He's like any man
- they
all long
for witchery and wickedness at night. If you want him, Alys, take him!
You
don't have much time, you know.'
'Time?'
Alys asked instantly. 'You've foreseen something, Morach?'
'Away.'
Morach flapped her hands, fending Alys off. 'You've not much time while
you're
young and beautiful. The plague could come any day and mark your face.
The wind
could blow and scar you. You could fall sick and lose the clear colour
of your
skin and your eyes and hair. You're getting thinner every day with this
passion
burning up inside you - a month from now and you'll be a plain
spinster. If you
want something you should get it at once. Waiting is a trial for no one
but
yourself.'
Alys
nodded. 'I am on a rack of desire for him,' she said softly.
'Shall
I tell him?' Morach asked. 'I'm the last person to leave them at night.
I could
take him to one side and tell him that if he leaves Catherine's room he
can
come here. And I'll keep guard till the two of you are done.'
Alys
turned towards the bed and looked at the old woman. Her face was
suspicious.
'Why?' she asked. 'Why would you risk offending Lady Catherine - you
who stand
so high in her favour, paid twice what the rest get, free to come and
go,
eating like a pig and free to speak your mind to her? Why risk it?'
Morach
chuckled. 'It's a game, child,' she said indulgently. 'It's like
casting the
runes, or reading the cards, or making herbs. It's a game. What will
happen
next? All magic is the question - what will happen if ... ? I want to
know what
will happen to you when Hugo has you. I want to see that happen. It
takes my
fancy, that's all.'
'Can't
you see it?' Alys asked. 'Why can't you see the future as you used to
see it,
Morach?'
The
old
woman shrugged. 'I can see you don't have long; that should be enough
for you.
When I look, it all goes dark, I can see nothing except darkness and
water. So
you'd best act as any woman would - never mind the Sight. What will it
be?
Shall I tell him you want to see him?'
Alys
paused. 'Yes,' she said, with sudden decision. 'Now. Call him out now.
Get him
away from Catherine now. I can't bear him to lie with her tonight.'
The
old
woman nodded and slipped from the bed, spread the shawl around her
shoulders
and crept through the door. Alys took up the mirror again, ruffled her
hand
through her thick hair, watched the colour rise in her pale cheeks.
Across the
gallery she could hear Morach's peremptory knock on the door and her
call:
'Lord Hugo! The old lord is asking for you. He said you were to come at
once!'
She
heard Hugo's muttered oath and his quick step to the door. She heard
him call
to Catherine, telling her to sleep, and then the bedroom door slam
behind him.
He stepped out into the gallery.
Alys
tossed aside the mirror and went out of her room to meet him.
'Lord
Hugh does not need you, I sent Morach to call you out,' she said. She
held her
head very high and her hair fell in a ripple of gold away from her
face. Hugo
stared at her, at the thin cotton of her nightgown and at the rapid
pulse
beating at the hollow of her neck under the half-open gown.
'Alys,'
he said softly.
He
could see the muscles in her neck move as she swallowed.
'I
cannot bear you to lie with her,' Alys said. 'You told me to wait until
you
came back from Newcastle and I have waited. I want you as my lover. I
have dreamed
and dreamed of you coming home to me.'
Hugo's
dark gleam of a smile came, and faded. 'You heard my father,' he said.
'You
know how much I need an heir. You know that my future and my family's
future
depends on an heir to this castle and these lands. And he has promised
me that
money, Alys. I cannot distress Catherine when she is carrying the child
I need
more than anything else in the world!'
'What
about me!' Alys broke out. 'I see what Catherine needs - aye, and gets!
And I
see what you need! But what about me?'
Hugo
looked at her, his smile crinkling around his eyes. 'You want me,' he
said. It
was not a question. Alys nodded.
'Is
Morach gone from your room?' he asked. Alys did not look up; she nodded
again.
'Come then,' he said and slid his arm around her waist, and she let him
lead
her to her bedroom, swing her off her feet and lay her on the bed.
He
pulled up her gown to see her naked and gave a little grunt of pleasure
at the
sight - like an animal, Alys thought. She closed her eyes and thought
of the
nights and days she had longed for him, had longed for this moment.
'This is
Hugo,' she said to herself. 'Hugo, that I have dreamed of and longed
for, and
desired more than I have ever desired anyone in my life.'
It did
not help. She felt cold and arid. She was nervous of the pain and the
weight of
him. Hugo hitched his nightshirt up around his waist. 'If you were a
witch
indeed then you would enchant me,' he said. 'They were talking of
witchery in
Newcastle. They say if a man so much as touches their skin then no
other woman
can ever excite him again.'
Alys
shook her head. 'I'm no witch,' she said. 'You told me to put all that
aside, I
did as you hid me. I cannot enchant you.' She was getting cold, half
naked
before him.
Hugo
dropped
on top of her and Alys was crushed beneath his weight. He had eaten
spicy meat
at supper and his breath was sour. She threw her arms around his broad
shoulders and said, 'Hugo,' thinking how she had longed for this moment
- that
it must be what she wanted, since she had wanted it for so long.
'If
you
were a witch,' Hugo said, rubbing himself gently against her, 'what
pleasures
would you give me, Alys? Do you think witches can make men fly? Do you
think
they can make them lust all night and all day? Would you conjure for me
virgin
after virgin? All of them wet with desire, all longing for me. All
lying with
me and with each other? A great rolling bed of women with mouths and
hands and
bodies for my pleasure alone?'
As his
words excited him he arched his back and leaned up on his hands and
pushed into
her. Alys screamed - a sharp scream of pain - and wriggled at once away
from
him. 'No!'
Hugo
laughed, put his hands on her thin shoulders and said breathlessly:
'Take it,
Alys! It's what you've been hot for! It's what you've been pining for!
What did
you expect? A touch as gentle as your own busy little fingers? This is
what a
man does, Alys! Learn to like it!' At every word he spoke he thrust
deeper into
her. Alys scrabbled frantically against him, trying to pull herself up
and away
from his greedy lust. 'Oh!' Hugo said suddenly, and he fell heavily on
her.
They
lay very still for a few moments. The pain inside her eased a little
and she
felt his cock grow limp and slide away. She smelled her blood and felt
it
trickle on her cold thighs. She felt the skin around her eyes tighten
and grow
cold with drying tears. She moved a little and Hugo rolled off her,
like a pig
in a wallow, and lay on his back, gazing blankly at the ceiling.
Alys
crept a little closer and put her warm head on his shoulder. She could
hear his
heart thudding and slowing. His arm came around her and held her.
'I
hurt,' Alys said in a little voice, like an injured child.
Hugo
chuckled. 'Not a witch then,' he said. 'You've done no shagging with
the devil,
that's for sure.'
'I
told
you I was no witch,' Alys said impatiently. 'I was a virgin. You have
taken my
virginity. And you hurt me, Hugo.'
He
nodded, as if it did not matter much. 'It always hurts maids the first
time,'
he said indifferently. 'What did you expect?'
Alys
said nothing, but the world of her expectations was laid out before her
in
bitter colours.
Hugo
gave a yawn and sat up. 'Give me a cloth,' he said. 'I cannot go back
to
Catherine like this.'
Alys
slipped from the bed and walked awkwardly over to the linen chest. She
could
feel a trickle of blood flow warm down her thigh. She passed him a
length of
linen. 'Go back to Catherine?' she said stupidly.
'Of
course,' he said. He mopped at his crutch with quick, hard gestures,
wiping her
blood away. Wiping the smell of her away. He looked up at her shocked
face and
shrugged.
'Come
on, Alys,' he said impatiently. 'You heard my father, you know what
this child
means to me. Every night of my life until the baby is born I shall
sleep in
Catherine's bed. I shall make her as content and serene as I can. I owe
it to
my son, I owe it to my line and, by God, I owe it to myself! I have
waited to
sire a son for eighteen years! One woman after another has been barren
with me.
Now my wife, my own legal wife, is with my child and they all say it
will be a
son. Of course I shall watch over her, and anything she wants will be
hers!'
'I
dreamed of a son that we would have,' Alys started. 'You and me.'
Hugo
leaned forward and patted her white cheek. 'When you are pregnant with
my son
you will be my favourite,' he said carelessly. 'While Catherine carries
my son
I am hers to command. Right now there is only one thing in the world
which
could keep me from Catherine.' 'And what is that?' Alys asked. Her
throat was
aching from holding in her anger and her pain.
Hugo
grinned. 'The rutting I have dreamed of with you!' he said, laughing.
'Ever
since I saw you, and especially since they all thought you were a
witch, I thought
you would take me - like witches are said to take men. I thought you
would ride
me like I mount a horse. I thought you would know ways which would
drive me mad
with lust for you.'
Alys
shook her head slowly. 'And instead, I was just another virgin,' she
said
softly. 'An ordinary girl.'
Hugo
stood up, tossed aside the bloodied cloth and drew Alys into his arms.
'Ordinary girls give pleasure too,' he said consolingly. 'Another time,
sweetheart, when I am not wearied with travelling and sated with
Catherine.
Another time it will be better for us both.'
Alys
nodded, hearing dismissal in his voice. 'But don't send Morach for me
again,'
he said warningly. 'Catherine is bound to find out and distress could
harm the
baby. I will come to you when I can leave her without her knowing. I
will come
to you when she sleeps.'
'In
corners,' Alys said. 'In doorways. Hidden in secrecy.'
Hugo
gleamed. 'I love it like that,' he said 'Desperate and quick. Wouldn't
you like
me to take you like that, when we're too hot to wait for a proper time?'
Alys
turned her head away so that he could not see the anger and resentment
in her
eyes. 'Like any ordinary girl,' she said.
He put
an arm around her waist and kissed her carelessly on the top of her
head. 'I
must go,' he said. 'Sweet dreams.' The door shut softly behind him.
Alys walked
wearily to the bed, flung herself down on her back and watched the
flicker of
the firelight on the ceiling. She did not turn her head as the door
opened. She
knew it was not Hugo.
'Fool,'
Morach said companionably. 'I thought you were hot for him. I could
have told
you it would hurt, lying with a man you hate.'
Alys
turned her head slowly on the pillow. 'I don't hate him,' she said
slowly. 'I
love him. I love him more than life itself.'
Morach
gave a little crow of laughter and hitched herself up into the high bed.
'Aye,
you say you do,' she said agreeably. 'And you think you do. But your
body says
different, child. Your body said "no" all the way through, didn't it?
Even when you kept trying to tell yourself you were in heaven.'
Alys
raised herself up on one elbow. 'Help me, Morach,' she said. 'It hurt
and I
hated him touching me like that. And yet I used to tremble when he so
much as
looked at me.'
Morach
chuckled and heaved the blankets over to her own side. 'He's a
disappointment
to you,' she said. 'And you hate Catherine. You're torn different ways
at once.
And you don't consult your own pleasure. Get hold of your power, Alys!
Find
what you want and take it. You lay there tonight and asked him to rape
you.
What he wants is a woman to drive him mad - not another victim.'
Alys
pulled the blankets back and turned on her side with her back to
Morach. 'And
you watched,' she said irritably.
'Of
course,' Morach said calmly. 'And I can tell you, he had more pleasure
with
Catherine's wanton joy than he did with you.'
Alys
said nothing.
'If it
had been me,' Morach said thoughtfully to Alys' stiff back, 'I'd have
taken my
time and given him wine, and taken a glass myself. I'd have drugged him
maybe.
I'd have used earthroot which makes a man dream of desire until he is
mad with
it and makes him hard with no chance of ease for hours. I'd have told
him bawdy
stories, I'd have let him watch me touch myself. I'd have told him I
was a
witch and that if he touched me he would go mad for my touch forever.
And when
he was half pickled with lust then I'd have let him have me. I wouldn't
have
whimpered beneath him like a ravished scullion.' Alys shut her eyes and
hunched
up her shoulder. 'But I wouldn't have done any of that until I'd
decided
whether I wanted him or not,' Morach said to the quiet room. 'I
wouldn't have a
man when we had a score to settle. I wouldn't tup a man who was lying
his head
off to me. I wouldn't let him roll on me and then wash himself clean as
if I
was dirt. I'd make him choose between me and his wife. And I'd use my
magic to
make him choose me.'
Alys
turned around and looked at Morach. 'There is no magic in the world
that can
stand against an heir,' she said bitterly. 'All I can hope for is for
the bitch
to die in childbirth and the heir to die with her.'
Morach
met her look. 'And me here to see she does not,' she said equably.
'It's a fine
net you've meshed yourself in, little Alys.'
Alys
turned her back on Morach again and thumped down into the bed.
'You
must wish you were back at the abbey,' Morach said, rubbing salt in the
old
wound. 'You'd have been safe from all this uncomfortable reality there.
Safe
with your mother in Christ.' She paused. 'Pity,' she said cheerfully.
Alys
had thought herself unhappy before, but after that night her days were
harder
still. The weather was against her through a long wintry April. Alys
thought
that the long season of darkness and cold would never end.
She
had
known harder winters in her childhood with Morach when food and even
firewood
had been scarce, and for frozen day after frozen day Morach had sent
her out of
the door of the snowed-in shanty to scoop a bucket of snow and set it
to thaw
on the little precious flame. At night they had huddled together for
warmth and
listened for the cry of the wolf pack which came nearer at twilight and
dawn.
Morach would throw another turf of peat on the fire and a handful of
herbs and
laugh as if the bitter cold and the pain in her belly and the long
lonely cry
of the wolves amused her.
'Learn
this,' she would say to Alys - wide-eyed and thin as an orphan lamb.
'Learn
this. Never cross a powerful man, my Alys. Find your place and keep
it.' And
the little child with the great blue eyes too big for her white face
would nod
and clench her little chicken-foot hands in the old sign against the
evil eye.
'That farmer was a bad man,' she said solemnly. 'He was that,' Morach
replied
with relish. 'And dead now for his injustice to me. Find your place and
keep
it, Alys! And then avoid the hard men with power!'
Alys
had been cold then with a deep iron coldness which had stayed with her
for all
her life like some incurable growth of ice in her belly. All the
petting at the
abbey, all the banked fires of blazing logs, all the sheepskin rugs and
the
wool tapestries could not cure her of it. When the wind howled around
the walls
of the abbey she would shiver and look up at Mother Hildebrande and ask:
'Was
that wolves? Was that wolves, Mother Hildebrande?'
And
the
old abbess would laugh and draw the child's head against her knees and
stroke
her fingers through her fair curly hair and say, 'Hush, my little
lapwing. What
if there are? You are safe here, behind the thick walls, are you not?'
And
the
child would reply, with deep satisfaction: This is my place now.'
And
now
I have no place, and I am cold again, Alys said to herself.
She
was
seated on the kitchen step, her hands dug deep into her sleeves, her
face turned
up to the thin yellow light of the winter sun. All the other women were
indoors, chattering and laughing in the warm gallery. Morach was
singing some
bawdy ditty to amuse them and Catherine was laughing aloud with one
hand held
over her swelling belly.
Alys
had left them with an irritable shiver to run down to the garden to
gather
herbs. The old lord had a cough at nights which made him weary and Alys
wanted
the heads of lavender for him to help him rest. They were stunted and
frozen,
they should have been picked when the juice was in them, fresh and
violet and
sweet in midsummer.
'They
were neglected and left, and now they are cold and dry,' Alys said,
turning the
arid handful in her lap. 'Oh God, Hugo.'
Between
Catherine's demands for company and the needs of the old lord who sank
one day
but rallied the next, Alys should have been busy, with no time to
brood. But
all those long weeks, as it snowed deeper, and then thawed, and then
snowed
again, Alys moped at the fireside, at the arrow-slit window, or
shivered on her
own in the frozen garden.
'What
ails you, Alys, are you sick?' the old lord asked.
David
the dwarf peeped at her and gleamed his malicious smile. 'A sick
physician? A
foolish wise woman? A dried-out herbalist?' he asked. 'What are you,
Alys? A
gourd rattling with dried seeds?'
Only
Morach in the dark room which they shared at night put her dirty finger
precisely on the root of Alys' pain. 'You're dying for him, aren't
you?' she
said bluntly. 'Dying inside for him.'
Hugo
barely noticed her in his busy days. He wrote a stream of letters to
London, to
Bristol and to Newcastle, and cursed like a soldier at the delay in
their
delivery and replies. He supervised the pulling-down of the big
keystones of
the abbey and the men dragged them over the snow on sledges to make a
heap
where he planned his new house. 'Not a castle,' he told Catherine. 'A
regular
house. A Tudor house. A house for a lasting peace.'
He
drew
plans for his new handsome house. It was to have windows, not
arrow-slits. It
was to have chimneys and fireplaces in every room. He would have had
the men
dig foundations, but no one could drive so much as a knife into the
frozen
ground. Instead, he measured up and drew it, and showed it to David,
and argued
about kitchens and the bakehouse and the number of rooms and the best
aspect.
When he strode into the castle, as the wintry darkness came down in the
afternoon, all the women in the castle fluttered - like hens in a shed
with a
fox beneath the floor. Hugo let his dark laughing eyes rove over all of
them,
and then took his pick in a shadowed doorway for a few minutes of rough
pleasure.
He
rarely had the same woman twice, Alys saw. He never wilfully hurt them
or
played the mad cruel games he had done with his wife. He treated them
with
abrupt lust and then quick dismissal.
And
they loved him for it. 'He is a rogue!' 'He is the old lord reborn!'
'He is a
man!' she heard them say. He put his hand out to Alys once with a
quizzical
smile and a dark eyebrow raised. Alys had looked through him, her face
as
inviting as frozen stone, and he had laughed shortly and turned away.
She heard
him whistle as he ran down the stairs, accepting her rejection as
lightly as he
had accepted her invitation. She no longer ran deep in Hugo's blood -
he had
too many diversions. He never came again to her room while Catherine
slept -
Alys
never expected it. She had taken a gamble on her desire and lost him,
and lost
her desire too.
All
she
had left to her was a nagging knowledge that she needed him, at a level
which
ran deeper than lust. Alys felt she had tried his lust and found it
wanting. In
his easy dismissal of her she felt her power - over him, over herself,
over all
of them - drain away like the pale sunsets which bled light from the
narrow
line of the western horizon in the early afternoons of the dark winter
days.
One
day
the crystal on the thread hung downwards heavy and still, like a
plumb-line,
when she laid her hand on the old lord's chest.
'Have
you lost your power, Alys?' he asked sharply, his dark eyes wide open,
alert as
a ruffled old eagle owl.
Alys
met his gaze unmoved. 'I think so, my lord,' she said, cold to her very
bones.
'I cannot get the thing I desire, and I cannot learn not to desire it.
I've no
time nor appetite for anything. Now it seems I've no ability either.'
'Why's
that?' he asked briefly; he was short of breath. 'Hugo,' Alys said. 'He
wanted
me to be an ordinary woman, a girl to love. Now I am so ordinary he
passes me
by. I threw my power away for love of him and now I have neither the
power nor
the love.'
The
old
lord had barked a sharp laugh at that which ended in him coughing and
wheezing.
'Get Morach for me then,' he said. 'Morach shall tend me instead of
you.
Catherine says that she trusts her with everything. That she is a great
healer,
an uncanny herbalist.'
Alys
nodded, her face pinched. 'As you wish,' she said. The words were like
flakes
of snow.
The
old
lord used her as his clerk still, but there were only a few letters he
cared to
write during his sickness, during Lent. But when she was sitting at the
wide
oriel window of the ladies' gallery on the Wednesday after Easter Day
Alys saw
a half-dozen homing pigeons winging in from the south, circling the
castle in a
broad determined swoop and then angling, like a flight of sluggish
arrows,
towards their coops on the roof of the round tower. It meant urgent
news from
London. Alys bobbed a curtsey to Catherine and left the ladies'
gallery. She
arrived at Lord Hugh's door as the messenger came down the stairs from
the roof
of the tower with the tiny scrap of paper in his hand. Alys followed
him into
the room. 'Shall I read it?' Alys asked. Lord Hugh nodded.
Alys
unfurled the little scrap. It was written in Latin. 'I don't understand
it,'
Alys said. 'Read it,' Hugh said.
'It
says: On Easter Tuesday the Spanish envoy refused an invitation to dine
with
the Queen. The King took mass with him and the Queen's brother was
ordered to
attend him: 'That all?'
'Yes,'
Alys said. 'But what does it mean?' 'It means the Boleyn girl has
fallen,' Lord
Hugh said without regret. 'Praise God I am friends with the Seymours.'
He
said
it like an epitaph on a gravestone, and closed his eyes. Alys watched
his hard,
unforgiving face as he slept and wondered if Queen Anne yet knew that
she was
lost.
After
that day there was little work for her in the castle except reading to
the old
lord and sitting with Catherine. She could not be trusted to sew an
intricate
pattern - she lacked attention, Catherine complained. She had lost her
intuition for herbs and Catherine shivered at the touch of her cold
fingers.
Day after day Alys had less and less to do but watch and wait for Hugo
- and
then see him pass by her without noticing her in the shadows.
She
grew
thinner and she took to drinking more and more wine at dinner as the
food stuck
in her throat. It was the only thing which helped her sleep, and when
she slept
she dreamed long wonderful dreams of Hugo at her side, and his son in
her arms,
and a yellow gown slashed with red silk and a snow-white fur trim.
As
snow
turned to sleet and then rain, the ground grew softer. At the end of
April the
young lord rode out every dawn and did not come back till dusk. They
had
started digging the foundations for the new house and on the day they
had
completed the outline he came home early, at midday, dirty with mud,
bursting
into Catherine's gallery, where she was sewing a tapestry with Morach
idly
holding the silks on one side of her and Alys and Eliza and Ruth
stitching at
the border.
'You
must come and see it!' Hugo said. 'You must, Catherine. And you shall
see the
rooms I have planned for you and for our son. She can come, can't she,
Morach?
She can ride the grey palfrey?'
His
glance flickered past Alys to the older woman. Alys kept her eyes on
her work
but she could feel him near her as a trout can feel a fisherman's
shadow.
'If
it's a very quiet horse,' Morach replied. 'Riding will not harm either
of them,
but a fall could be fatal.'
'And
all your ladies,' Hugo said expansively. 'All of them! You must be
pining to go
out - mewed up here like fat goshawks! Wouldn't you like to smell the
moorland
air again, Alys? Feel the wind in your face?' Catherine smiled at Alys. 'She won't leave your
father,' she said.
'She is always with him or running errands for him. She can stay. And
also
Margery and Mistress Allingham. I will come, and Eliza and Ruth and
Morach.'
'As
you
wish,' Hugo said readily. 'As you wish. We'll go tomorrow. I'll walk
out with
you today, after dinner.' He caught sight of Alys, face down-turned to
her
work. 'You don't begrudge us our pleasure, Alys?' He had a wish, as
wilful as a
teasing child, to see her face and her eyes and to hold her attention.
She
did
not look up at him. 'Of course not, my lord,' she said, her voice thin
but
steady. 'I hope you and my lady have a pleasant day.'
'You
must be thirsty, my lord,' Catherine interrupted. 'Alys, call for some
wine for
my lord before you leave us. You are bid to go to Lord Hugh, are you
not?' Alys
rose to her feet and went to pull the bell. 'Is my father ill?' Hugo
asked.
'Oh
no,' Catherine reassured him. 'Alys does not tend his health now. She
has lost
her skill. Isn't that strange? Morach tends him now. But he likes Alys
to read
to him. Doesn't he, Alys?'
Alys
shot a quick look at Hugo from under her eyelashes. 'Yes,' she said.
'May I go
now?'
Hugo
smiled, his eyes resting on her, his look thoughtful, and nodded her
away.
Alys, her eyes on the floor, her face pale, went out of the heavy door
and
closed it quietly behind her.
'Not
long now,' Morach said, watching Hugo's eyes following Alys to the
door. 'Not
long now,' she said with malicious satisfaction. 'What?' Catherine
demanded
impatiently. Morach's grin was irrepressible. 'I said, not long now. I
was
thinking of a game I know.'
The
old
lord kept Alys with him after dinner, he had a letter by messenger from
his
cousin in London. The man had come slowly, overland up the Great North
Road,
travelling with others delayed by snowdrifts. The news he brought was a
week
old. But gossip and rumours have a long life. Lady Jane Seymour had
been given
her own apartments at Greenwich Palace - as grand as those of the
Queen.
Rochford, the Queen's brother, was not to be elected to the Garter.
That honour
was given elsewhere. The King had danced with Lady Jane Seymour all
evening.
The King and the Queen were to watch a May Day joust together but the
court was
seething with stories of a quarrel between the Queen and King when she
had
stripped the baby Princess Elizabeth naked and thrust her at him,
demanding if
he could find a flaw, a single flaw, on the chubby little body. Another
perfect
child would follow the first, she swore. But the King had turned away.
Alys
read the letter to him and then burned it when he nodded to the fire.
There was
also a letter from the College of Heralds. Lord Hugh wanted to add a
quartering
to his shield to greet his new grandson. There was a precedent for the
honour
in Catherine's family and the old lord and the college were haggling
about the
justice of the claim and the price that would have to be paid for the
added
lustre to Hugh's name. He shook his head at their demands. 'I must
watch my
ambition,' he said. 'See what ambition is doing to the Boleyns, Alys.
The
safest place to be is halfway down the hall. Not too near the top
table.'
There
was a lease sent from the Bowes manor for his inspection. A tenant was
resisting a change of his holding from entry and occasional fines to an
annual
rent. He wanted to pay his fines in goods but the castle was hungry for
cash.
Alys read the medieval Latin of the lease slowly, stumbling over the
archaic
words. Lord Hugh watched the flames in the fireplace, nodding first
with
concentration and then with weariness, and then his eyes slowly closed.
Alys
read on a few sentences more and then softly laid down the parchment
and looked
at him. He was fast asleep.
She
rose quietly from her chair and went softly to the arrow-slit in the
westward
wall and looked out. Below her on the far side of the river-bank she
could see
Lady Catherine walking awkwardly, wrapped in furs, one hand on Hugo's
arm. He
was leaning towards her so that he could hear what she said above the
rushing
of the water. Even at that distance Alys could see Catherine's adoring
gaze up
at Hugo and her smile.
The
old
lord was dozing behind Alys, the fire crackled in the grate. Alys
watched how
Hugo leaned towards Catherine and how he helped her across the muddy
parts of
the path. At a distance Morach followed, with a basket on her arm and
Eliza
Herring walking at her side. The other ladies must have stayed indoors.
Behind
them were two armed servants on horseback. Hugo was taking no chances
with the
safety of his wife and unborn son.
Alys
felt
her hands hurting and looked down. She had clenched them into fists and
her
nails had marked four deep red sickles into each palm. 'Oh God, this
jealousy
is my crucifixion,' she whispered, but she stayed watching, unable to
leave the
window. Catherine slipped a little on the mud and Hugo caught her with
one arm
around her waist. Alys could almost hear her laugh as Hugo held her,
then she
turned her face up to him and his dark head came down and he kissed her.
Alys
felt her cheeks burn. Somewhere, from the back of her mind, came the
memory of
the doll which she had thrown in the moat. The three dolls were hidden
in the
purse on a piece of string dangling out of the garderobe, waiting for
the time
that they could be buried. Alys had kept her mind away from them with
the same
disciplined blindness that she stopped herself thinking of the nunnery,
of her
mother, or of fire.
But
when she saw Catherine slip, so near to those deep icy waters, she
thought
again of the little doll of Catherine which she had thrown far out into
the
green waters of the moat and which had bobbed and turned its face to
her, and
then smiled at her and nearly drowned her from its own power and malice.
'Oh,
but I'm safe now,' Alys said aloud. 'I'm safe here indoors, while you
are out
there.'
She
glanced back into the room. The old lord was snoring, his cap askew,
his head
on one side. The warm glow of the firelight flickered red on the stone
walls.
The deerhound dozed before the fire, paws twitching now and then in his
dream.
'Nothing
could hurt me here,' Alys said. She looked back out of the window. 'But
you
...' she whispered to Catherine. ' You are very near the water. And the
spell
on the dolls was very potent. So potent that your husband went to you
and loved
you with such passion that he has forgotten all about me. It was my
power in
the dolls that drew him to you. It was my power in the dolls that put
that baby
in your belly. And the doll for you was drowning, Catherine. Your doll
was
drowning.'
Alys
was silent for a moment, her bewitching whisper falling into the
quietness of
the room.
'I had
a Seeing of Hugo and me together,' she murmured. 'Perhaps that meant
you died,
Catherine. Perhaps you're going to die. Perhaps you're going to drown.
Perhaps
you're going to drown now.'
Walking
a short distance behind the couple Morach paused and put her head on
one side
as if listening to some distant noise.
'Perhaps
it will happen now,' Alys whispered. She was pressing up against the
window-sill, leaning her whole body against the cold stone, forcing her
will
through the very walls of the castle.
'Perhaps
now, Catherine,' she said. She started humming, very deep in her
throat, a
powerful sleepy noise like a swarm of toxic bees. 'Perhaps now,' she
whispered
yearningly. 'The water is very deep and very cold, Catherine. The rocks
are
very sharp. If you slip and fall now, you will be swept downriver and
by the
time they get you out, "your lungs and your belly will be filled with
icy
water. You nearly drowned me. I know how it feels. And soon, you will
know it
too.'
Morach
was standing as alert as a hound listening for the horn. Then she
whirled
towards the castle and stared towards it, raking the arrow-slits with
her stare
as if she were looking for Alys, almost as if Alys had called loudly
and
clearly towards her. She looked straight towards the narrow slit of
window in
the great tower where Alys stood. For a moment the two women stared
towards
each other and Alys knew that - despite the distance, the narrowness of
the arrow-slit
and the darkness of the room - Morach was looking into her eyes and
reading her
mind. Then Morach yelled a wordless warning and started running towards
Catherine.
Hugo
turned at the shout and his hand went to his sword. Catherine swung
around and
lost her footing on the mud of the path, stepped backwards, and with
the
awkward misbalance of pregnancy stumbled on the very edge of the path.
Her arms
flailed like a helpless child. Alys, watching with burning eyes, was
humming
louder and louder, deep in her throat; and it was as if the power of
the sound
was pressing down on the little figure, wrapped tight in bulky furs.
Catherine
clawing helplessly at the air, her mouth wide in a scream, fell slowly
backwards. Then she was gone - head over heels, clear over the rocks at
the
edge of the river, into the deep pool and down into the fast flooding
waters.
Hugo
tore at his sword and flung it aside, yelled at the soldiers for help,
and
jumped down on to the rocks and boulders at the river's edge, throwing
himself
towards the water. But Morach was quicker. In an instant she dived out
over the
rocks, deep into the pool, and went down below the water like a
questing otter.
She came back up and duck-dived again.
'Get
out of the way, Morach,' Alys breathed through the window, shaking with
dismay.
'You're my kin, not hers. You're working for my interests, not hers.
Leave her,
Morach. Leave her be!'
Morach
shook her head, as if to rid herself of a voice in her ears, and dived.
There
was a flash of white as her feet kicked in the air and then a flurry of
colour
of drowned cloth as she surfaced with Catherine in her arms. Hugo waded
in,
waist deep in the water, and grabbed Catherine. Alys could see that she
was
limp, perhaps stunned. She knew the woman was not dead. It would have
been a
rare piece of luck if she had broken her neck or staved in her head on
a rock.
Hugo gathered Catherine into his arms and then reached out a hand for
Morach.
One soldier jumped down and passed the two women up to his fellow on
the bank.
Alys watched it all, dry-eyed, white-faced. She watched Hugo scoop
Catherine
back into his arms for a stumbling run towards their horses. She saw
Catherine
grab the pommel of the saddle with one limp hand as she was handed up
on to the
horse, and Morach was tossed up behind one of the soldiers. The little
cavalcade moved out of sight around the curve of the tower and Alys
guessed
they would hurry back into the castle by one of the sally-ports. At any
moment
now there would be an alarm and people running, and everyone worried
about
Catherine and praising Morach.
Alys
pushed herself stiffly away from the window and pulled out a footstool
to sit
at Lord Hugh's feet and watch the flames of the fire. She shivered a
little as
she remembered the icy greenness of the moat. Then she leaned forwards
and put
her chin on her hands and stared with blank, unseeing eyes into the
very heart
of the redness - and waited for the noise and the shouting to start.
She
did
not wait long. Lord Hugh jumped out of his sleep at the yell from the
great
hall which echoed up to his room.
'What
is that? What is that?' he demanded. 'Alys! Are we under attack? What
is that
noise?'
'I'll
go and see, my lord,' Alys said smoothly. She went to the door but as
she
opened it David came in. 'Nothing to alarm you, my lord,' he said
swiftly. 'The
Lady Catherine had a fall in the river and Lord Hugo has brought her
safe home.
She is being put to bed by her women. Her wise woman says she thinks
the child
is not hurt.' 'God be praised!' the old lord said, crossing himself.
'Tell
her I'll come at once. Alys! D'you hear that! Catherine near-drowned
and the
heir with her! God's breath! That was a narrow escape!' 'I'd best go to
her,'
Alys said.
'Yes,
yes. Go and see how she is and come straight back to me. I'll come and
see her
myself when she permits. And tell Hugo to come to me as soon as his
wife is
settled.'
Alys
slipped from the room and ran down the stairs to the ladies' gallery.
The place
was in uproar. Servants were running around with wood-baskets, ewers of
hot
water, jugs of mulled wine and hot mead. Catherine's women were
shrieking
orders and then cancelling them, snatching up Catherine's hands to
chafe and
kiss. Hugo, supporting Catherine, was yelling for them to put a
warming-pan in
Catherine's bed and clear the room so she could be undressed. Morach,
ignoring
the hubbub, dripped a wet path to Alys' chamber. She checked when she
saw Alys
in the doorway and their eyes met.
'You
swim like a witch,' Alys said, not caring who heard her.
'And
you curse like one,' Morach replied, venom in her voice,
'Why
meddle?' Alys asked, dropping her voice so her words were lost in the
shouting.
'You heard my power, you know what I was doing. Why meddle in my work?'
Morach
shrugged. 'That's a death I'd wish on no one,' she said. She shuddered
as if
she was chilled to her soul. 'I'd hate to die by water,' she said. 'I
couldn't
stand by and see a woman die by water. Not a young woman, not a young
woman
with child, not one that I'd served. You're a harder woman than me,
Alys, if
you could have stood by and watched her drown.'
'I was
holding her under with all the power I have,' Alys said through her
teeth.
'And I
pulled her out,' Morach said, blazing. 'There are some deaths no woman
should
suffer. I'd rather any death than drowning. I'd rather any death in the
world
than going under the water and choking my way to hell.'
Alys
glanced around her. Eliza Herring was within earshot, though screeching
instructions to a servant. 'Thank God you were there,' Alys said loudly.
Morach
gleamed under her dripping mat of grey hair. 'Thank you for your good
wishes.'
She pushed past Alys and went into their little room, slamming the
door. Alys
turned and clapped her hands together. 'You men!' she said, her voice
clear
above the noise, 'Out! All of you! We cannot get Lady Catherine abed
with you
all here. Eliza! Turn down her bed. You girl!' - to a passing maid -
'Get those
warming-pans into her bed. And you' - to another - 'see the fires are
banked
high in her chamber and this one.'
The
room emptied at once. 'Out of the way!' Alys said crossly to the
maidservants
and to Catherine's ladies who still cluttered the room. She took
Catherine's
other arm and she and Hugo led the shivering woman into her chamber and
lowered
her into a chair by the fire.
'Fetch
towels and sheets,' Alys ordered Hugo, without looking at him. She
pulled off
Catherine's sodden fur cloak and dropped it on the floor. Then she
unpinned her
head-dress, undid her gown, and stripped her with hard hands until the
woman
was naked.
Hugo
passed her the towels and both of them rubbed her hard all over until
her white
skin glowed pink and the roughness of the gooseflesh had subsided. Then
Alys
wrapped her tight in the warm sheets and Hugo lifted her into bed. Alys
piled
rugs on top of her and pulled the warming-pans out to refill them with
fresh
embers, while Hugo gave her hot mead to drink. Her teeth chattered
pitifully on
the cup. Alys, at the fireside, shovelling embers, hunched her
shoulders. 'I'm
cold,' Catherine said.
Hugo
shot a despairing look at Alys. The room was as hot as a bread-oven.
Alys' face
was flushed, her forehead damp with sweat. The mud on Hugo's boots was
dried to
dust by the heat, his wet clothes were steaming.
'Drink
some more mead,' Alys said, without turning round. She slammed the
scorching
lid of the warming-pan and then wrapped it in a towel and thrust it
into the
bed under Catherine's feet.
'I'm
so
cold, Alys,' Catherine said. Her voice was high and thin, like a child.
'I'm so
cold, Alys. Can you not give me something to make me warm?'
Alys
turned to the chest and pulled out one of Catherine's great fur cloaks
with the
hood. 'Sit up a little,' she said. 'We'll put this around you like a
shawl, and
you can have the hood over your wet hair. You'll soon warm up.'
Together
they raised her in the bed. Alys looked away when her robe fell open
and the
rounded part of her belly was exposed. She looks like a mead-pot, Alys
thought
irritably, all gross curves. Beside the plump naked woman, Alys felt
herself to
be a shadow, a spectre of darkness. She tucked the thick furs around
Catherine
and then pulled the bedclothes up again.
'Warmer?'
she asked.
Catherine
nodded and tried to smile, but her face was still white. Hugo held her
cold
hands in his own. He turned them over, her fingernails were blue.
'Should
she be blooded?' he asked Alys. 'Should we sent for a surgeon and bleed
her?'
Alys
shook her head. 'She needs all her blood,' she said. 'She's choleric in
humour.
She'll warm up.'
'And
the baby?' he asked. He turned a little away from the bed so Alys could
hear
him, but Catherine could not. 'The baby is the most important thing.
Will the
baby be all right?'
Alys
nodded. She had a very sour taste in her mouth. She did not want to put
her
face too close to Hugo, she thought her breath would smell foul. 'I
doubt this
will harm the baby,' she said. 'You will be laughing about this in a
few days.
Both of you.'
Hugo
nodded but his face was dark with worry. 'Pray God that's so,' he said.
Alys
turned away. 'I have to go to your father,' she said. 'He sent me to
find news
of Lady Catherine. Shall I send one of the other women in to sit with
her?'
Hugo
shook his head. 'I'll go to him,' he said. 'And I'll come back at once.
You
stay here and watch over her. I trust you to care for her, Alys. You
know how
much this child means to me. He will be my future -and my freedom. He
will make
my fortune this autumn if we can get him through to a safe birth and to
his
grandfather's arms.' Alys nodded. 'I know,' she said. Hugo turned back
to the
bed where Catherine lay, her arms wrapped around herself, shivering in
the
baking heat of the bedroom. 'I am going to tell my father that you are
safe and
well,' he said. 'I will leave Alys here to care for you, and I will
come back
in a few moments.'
Catherine
nodded and lay back, her jaw clenched to keep her teeth from
chattering.
Against the dark furs her skin was white as thick vellum. The door shut
quietly
behind Hugo as he went out.
The
two
women were alone. The room was silent. In the gallery outside the
bedroom door,
Catherine's other women waited around the fire twittering like nervous
birds.
Catherine did not have the strength to call them, she could not reach
out her
hand to the bell. She was as much in Alys' power as if Alys had her
bound and
gagged and a knife whetted ready for her throat.
Alys
turned from the door and came slowly to the foot of the bed.
Catherine's pale
brown eyes looked up at her.
'I
felt
as if I was pushed,' she said. Her lip trembled, like a little child
that has
suffered some unimaginable unkindness. 'I felt as if someone pushed me.
But
there was no one there.' Alys looked back at her, her face impassive.
'I heard
a humming noise, a loud humming noise -like bees, or like a person
humming -
and then I felt someone push me, push me hard, push me into the water,'
she
said.
Alys'
lovely face was clear, her blue eyes confident. 'These are fancies,'
she said,
her voice lilting, sweet as a song. 'You have had a grievous fright.
Pregnant
women have these fears, my lady. There was no one near you, my lady.
How could
anyone hum and throw you in the river?' She laughed gently.
Catherine
put a hand out of the nest of furs towards Alys. 'Will you hold my
hand, Alys?'
she asked pitifully. 'I am afraid. I feel so afraid.'
Alys
came a little closer. She could hear the humming in her own head now,
like a
drowsy hive. She knew that if she touched the smallest fingertip of
Catherine's
white cold hand she would succumb to temptation and snatch up the
pillow and
crush it down over her frightened face. The humming was too loud to
resist. 'I have
been cruel to you,
Alys,' Catherine said, her voice a thin thread. 'I have treated you
unkindly
and tormented you. I was jealous.'
Alys
kept her face blank, and held on to the noise of the humming. Louder
and louder
the noise swelled, while Catherine beckoned her closer.
'I am
sorry,' Catherine said softly. 'Please forgive me, Alys. Hugo looked on
you
with such desire I could not bear it. Please forgive me.'
The
humming was drowning out thought. Catherine was reaching out for her.
Alys'
hands trembled with the desire to lock around her fat neck and squeeze
and
squeeze until there was no breath left in that plump, white, indulged
body.
'Please,
Alys,' Catherine said pitifully. 'You do not know what it is to feel
jealousy
such as I felt for you. It led me into the sin of unkindness to you. I
know I
taunted you and tormented you. I am afraid I made an enemy of you.
Forgive me,
Alys. Please say you forgive me.'
Alys
stepped a little closer. Catherine's face was pitiful. Alys found
herself
smiling, warm with joy at what she was about to do. Catherine reached
out for
her murderer with imploring hands. Alys took another step closer,
stretched out
her own hands ...
'For
the sake of Our Lady,' Catherine said. 'Take my hand, Alys, and say you
forgive
me.'
At the
name of the Holy Mother Alys checked, closed her eyes for a second and
shook
her head. She took a deep breath. The humming sound burned angrily in
her head
for a moment and then rumbled softly away, deep and soft, as if a dark
swarm
had gone back to a cave, to hide for a while, until their time should
come
again.
Catherine
reached out for her. Alys stepped forward and reluctantly took her
outstretched
hand.
'I was
jealous,' Catherine went on eagerly. 'You were so beautiful when you
first came
to the castle, Alys. And Hugo was so cold to me. You are so clever and
so learned,
and the old lord liked you - and he never really liked me. And I was
afraid
that you were taking them from me, both of them. My husband and my
guardian. I
was afraid you would take my place from me. Then I would have had
nothing,
Alys.' She was breathing very fast but there was no trace of colour in
her
cheeks. She was as white as a candlewax doll.
Alys,
holding Catherine's cold hand, holding on to her own power, felt the
dark swarm
flowing back through her, through her veins, through her head, out
through her
deadly fingertips.
Her
hands became icy, colder than Catherine's, colder than the winter river
itself.
Alys gave a little tremble of excitement and put her other hand over
Catherine's clinging grip.
'I
think I'm dying,' Catherine said breathlessly. 'The room is dark, so
very dark,
Alys. Hold my hand a little tighter, I can hardly see you.'
Alys
tightened her grip as she was bid. A fierce hungry smile spread across
her
face. She could feel the coldness and the darkness pouring from her,
pouring
out through her hands into Catherine. 'Are you cold?' she asked.
Catherine
shuddered. 'I am freezing, Alys! Freezing!' she exclaimed. 'And all the
candles
are out! And the fire out! Why is it so cold? Why is it so dark? I feel
as if
there is no one here who loves me or cares for me at all. Hold my hand
tighter,
Alys! Talk to me! I am afraid! I am afraid!'
Alys
laughed, a cold ripple of sound in the brightly lit steaming room. 'I
am here,
Lady Catherine,' she said.
'Can
you not see me? The fire is banked high, it is terribly hot. Can you
feel
nothing? And all the candles are lit - the lovely bright beeswax
candles. The
room is as bright as day, as bright as sunlight. Is it all dark for
you? Is it
all dark for you at last?'
'Alys!'
Catherine said imploringly. 'Hold me, Alys, please! Hold me close! I
feel as if
the waters are taking me under. I am drowning, Alys! I am drowning in
my bed.'
'Yes!'
Alys said exultantly, her own breath coming fast. 'You caught me like
this last
time, in the moat. You called me to you and then you pulled me down!
But this
time it is me drowning you! I need not put my hands to your throat. I
need not
do more than hold your hands as you wish, and you will go down,
Catherine. You
will go down alone, you will drown in your bed!'
'Alys!'
Catherine cried. Her voice was as thin as a thread, and at the end of
the word
she choked, as if a wave of green icy water had slapped her in the
mouth.
Alys
laughed again, madly, recklessly. 'You're drowning, Catherine!' she
said,
amazed at her own power. 'Morach could pull you out of the river but
nothing
and no one can save you from drowning! You're going down, Catherine!
You're
going down! You are drowning in your bed!'
The
door clicked behind them and Alys whirled around. It was Hugo. Behind
him was
the old lord and David. He looked from one woman to the other and his
face was
puzzled. 'What's wrong?' he asked.
Alys
took a deep breath. The bright hot room seemed to swirl around her like
the
colours in a swinging crystal. 'She is fearful,' she said. Her voice
seemed to
come from a long way away. 'And she is holding on to me so tight! I
tried to
call for the women but they did not hear. And I am faint.' She swayed
as she
spoke and Hugo stepped quickly forward. Alys lurched towards him; but
it was
David the seneschal who stepped forward and caught her as she fell.
Hugo
did not even turn around to look at her. He had Catherine gathered in
his arms
and she was sobbing on his shoulder.
Catherine
was ill for many days, through the springtime weather of May when the
sun rose
clear and early, and the birds sang till dusk, till the end of that
storm-filled, sunshine-filled month; but she did not complain. She lay
quietly
in her bed which was carried across to the little window so she could
sit up on
her pillows and see the courtyard and the garden and the life of the
castle
going on. She wearied easily and she liked to have Alys by her side to
read to
her. 'I cannot see the print,' she said. 'My head aches so. And Alys
reads so
sweetly.'
Lord
Hugh passed her books and poems to read, and even some of his letters
from
London which told of Queen Anne's trial and her execution. '"By the
hand
of a French swordsman, especially trained and brought over from that
country,"'
Alys read to Catherine.
Catherine
shook her head. 'I never liked her,' she said softly. 'I was named for
Queen
Catherine, you know, Alys. I always thought Anne Boleyn would fall. She
was an
adulteress, first with the King, and then with his courtiers. I won't
mourn for
her. Her rise was ungodly swift.'
'No
swifter than Jane Seymour's,' Alys said logically. 'She was
lady-in-waiting to
them both. And she will be queen in her turn. If a man is king, or even
master
of his destiny, he will choose the woman he wants. And she can rise as
he
wishes.'
Catherine
turned her head on the pillow and smiled at Alys. 'A marriage for love
is
best,' she said contentedly. 'A marriage for love between equals is
best.'
Hugo
came to her every morning and sat with her until dinner. He dined with
her in
her chamber at noon, and the table in the big hall seemed strangely
empty
without them. Alys often waited on them in Catherine's chamber as they
ate.
Hugo took her service without noticing her. He only watched Catherine,
pressing
her to eat the finest things, to drink little glasses of good red Mount
Rose
wine from Gascony to strengthen her blood. It was Catherine who thanked
Alys.
In the
afternoon while Hugo went out hunting, Alys would sing to Catherine and
play
the lute. She would read to her and copy passages from books which
Catherine
wanted to learn. 'I am so glad you are here, Alys,' Catherine said
sweetly one
day. 'I am so glad you are here to care for me. I feel so weak, Alys, I
can
tell you -but don't tell Hugo. I feel so weak I feel as if I will never
be
strong again. I am glad to have you care for me. I don't think I would
have
survived my drowning without your care.'
Morach,
sitting idly at Catherine's bedroom fire, shot a quick amused glance at
Alys'
face. Alys looked blandly back.
'Who
would have thought that you two girls would have become so close?'
Morach
wondered aloud. 'Such friends as you now are!'
Alys
drew her lips back in a smile. 'It makes me very happy to be your
friend, my
lady,' she said stiltedly. 'Perhaps you should have your rest now.'
Every
afternoon Catherine slept in her high bed until supper-time, when she
dressed
to go down to the hall with her ladies. The women and the men, gathered
for
their supper, gave a little mutter of approval to see her strength
growing
every day. 'It was a near thing,' Morach said with satisfaction, as she
reached
for another slice of manchet bread on the ladies' table. 'A near-run
thing
indeed. I thought for a little while that we might lose her.'
'It's
a
miracle,' Ruth said devoutly. 'A miracle that she should be snatched
from
drowning and then not die of the cold nor lose the baby. I have thanked
God for
it.'
'It's
a
miracle she should turn out so sweet,' Eliza whispered blasphemously.
'She was
as sour and as full of acid as a lemon until her dunking. Now she's all
honey.
And kindly to you.' She nodded at Alys.
'Will
the baby have a fear of water?' Mistress Allingham asked curiously. 'I
remember
a child in Richmond whose mother fell in the river and she could never
touch
water without shivering.'
'I
remember her,' Morach nodded. 'Aye, sometimes it takes them that way,
sometimes
they swim like little fishes in the flood. D'you remember Jade the
Idiot? His
mother was drowned and I myself reached inside her dead body and pulled
him out
like a little lamb from a dead ewe. We wrapped him on the very bank of
the
river while the great flood was up high! And he could swim like he was
more
fish than man!'
Margery
nodded eagerly and spoke of another fine swimmer. Alys leaned back a
little and
let the talk wash around her. The beeswax candles were very clear and
bright
tonight and the wine was sweet. Looking to her left she could see
Hugo's back,
the padded broad set of his shoulders, the swirl of his cape. On the
nape of
his neck his dark hair curled tight, his cap was set askew in the new
fashion.
She stared as hard as she could, willing him to be aware of her, to
turn, to
see her. She could not do it. He had lost his sense of her. 'You're
pale,
Alys,' Eliza said. 'Are you sick again?'
Alys
shook her head. 'No, I'm well,' she said. 'A little weary, that's all.'
Margery
blew on her trencher of bread, piled high with her portion of savoury
meat
mortrews, and bit into it with relish. 'You've been sick since the
Christmas
feast, I reckon,' she said. 'You were so bright and bonny when you
first came
to the castle and now your skin is pale as whey.'
'She'll
bloom in the summer,' Morach said. 'Alys never liked being cooped
indoors, and
the reading and the writing she does would weary anyone.'
"Tisn't
natural, for a woman to have such learning,' Mistress Allingham said
roundly.
'No wonder she looks so thin and plain. She's working all the time with
her
mind and not growing plump and bonny like a girl should.' 'Plain?' Alys
repeated, shocked. Eliza nodded, mischievously. 'Why did you think you
were so
high in my lady's favour? Because Hugo never looks your way no more!
You're all
thin and bony, Alys, and white as frost. He bundles up with Catherine
and folds
himself around her fat belly and thanks God for a bit of warm flesh in
these
cold nights.'
'She'll
bloom in summer,' Morach said again. 'Leave the girl alone. The long
cold dark
days of this spring would weary anyone.'
The
talk moved on at Morach's bidding but later that evening after supper,
Alys
slipped into Lady Catherine's room while the rest of them were drinking
mead
around the fire in the gallery. She carried a candle with her and set
it down
before the glass to see her face. It was a large handsome mirror made
of
silvered glass and the reflection it gave was always kindly, forgiving.
Alys
set down the candle and looked at herself. She was thinner. The gown of
Meg the
whore was wider than ever, the girdle spanned her waist and hung down
low and
the stomacher, laced as tight as it could go, flattened her slight
breasts but
was loose over her belly. She slipped her shawl back. Her shoulders
were as
scrawny as an old woman's, her collar bones like the bones of a little
sparrow.
She stepped a little closer to see her face. There were dark shadows
beneath
her eyes and lines of strain around her mouth. She had lost her
childish
roundness and her cheeks were thin and pale. Her blue eyes looked
enormous,
waif-like. She radiated coldness and loneliness and need.
Alys
made a sour face at the mirror. 'I'll
not get him back looking like this,' she said under her breath. She
stepped a
little closer. The shadows under her eyes were as dark as bruises. 'I'll not get him back at
all,' she said
softly. 'He could have loved me when I was straight off the moor,
taught by my
Mother Abbess, and skilful like Morach. He could have loved me then and
been
true to me then, and none of this misery would ever have happened. Now
I've set
my hand to magic and he's been witched, and she's been witched, and
something
is eating me away from the inside, like some great greedy worm, so all
my
strength drains from me and all I have left is my longing for him.'
The
face in the mirror was haggard. Alys put her hand up and felt the tears
on her
cheek. 'And my magic,' she said softly. 'Longing and magic enough to
hurt and
wound. That's all I have left me. No magic to summon a man to love me.'
She
sighed and the candleflame bobbed at her breath and spat a trail of
smoke. Alys
watched it wind towards the bright-painted timbered ceiling. 'I dipped
very
deep to be rid of him,' she said softly to herself. 'I used all the
power I had
to turn his eyes from me and his mind from me. I'll have to go that
deep again
to get him back.'
The
candleflame quivered, as if in assent. Alys leaned forward. 'Shall I do
it?'
she asked the little yellow flame.
It
dipped again. Alys smiled, and her face lit up with her youth and her
joy
again.
'Flame-talking!'
she said softly. 'A flame as a counsellor!'
The
room was very still; in the gallery she could hear someone take up a
lute and
strike a few chords, trying the sound. The chords hung on the air as if
Alys
was holding back time itself while she made her decision.
'It's
more
deep magic,' she said thoughtfully. 'Deeper than I know. Deeper than
Morach
knows.' The candleflame flickered attentively. 'I'll do it!' Alys said
suddenly. 'Will it win me Hugo?' The flame leaped and a tiny spark shot
out
from a fault in the wick. Alys gave a start of surprise and then
clapped her
hands over her mouth to hold in a ripple of laughter. 'I win Hugo!' she
said
delightedly. 'I get what I want!' She snatched up the candlestick and
turned to
go from the room. As she walked the flame billowed out like a streamer,
lighting the walls and Hugo and Catherine's big curtained bed so its
shadow
leaped up and jumped like a huge stalking animal. Alys opened the door
to the
gallery and stepped into the brightly lit room and the music. In its
stick, unnoticed,
the candleflame winked and went out.
The
women were gathered around the fireside. Catherine, round and warm, was
leaning
back in her chair, her eyes closed, listening to Eliza plucking at the
lute.
Alys passed like a pale cold ghost through the room, carrying a
darkened
candlestick, and slipped into her bedroom.
She
closed the door behind her but still Eliza's careless off-key warble
came
through. She leaned her back against the door as if she would blockade
the room
from them all. Then she shrugged, as a gambler does when he has nothing
more to
lose, crossed to the garderobe and rolled her sleeves up. Wrinkling her
nose at
the smell, she reached down the gap in the wall to feel for the string
and the
bag of the candle dolls. The bag was stuck to the castle wall, caked
with muck.
Alys' fingers scrabbled, trying to get a grip. She got hold of one
corner and
tore the purse away from the wall and up into the room.
'Faugh!'
she said under her breath. She carried it over to the stone hearth and
pulled
at the neck of the purse. The stiff string was stubborn but snapped at
last and
the candle dolls spilled out on to the hearth.
Alys
had forgotten how ugly they were. The little doll of Catherine with her
legs
spread wide and her grotesque fat belly, the old lord with his beaky,
hungry
face, and Hugo - beloved Hugo - with his eyelids wiped blind, his ears
rubbed
away, his mouth a smear and his fingers clumsy stumps. Alys shivered
and tossed
the purse on the fire; it sizzled and a rank smell of midden filled the
room.
Alys pulled a stool closer, put the three dolls on her lap and gazed at
them.
Very
quietly the door behind her opened and Morach came in, soft-footed.
'Oh,'
she said gently. 'I felt your magic even while I was gossiping about
London news
out there. But I did not think you would have turned to the dolls
again.'
Alys
looked at her, blank-faced. She did not even try to hide the horrors
she had
made of Morach's little statues.
Taking
your power again, are you?' Morach questioned. Alys nodded, saying
nothing.
'You
heard what they said of your looks at dinner,' Morach said, half to
herself.
She hunkered down on the hearth-rug beside Alys. 'You heard what they
said
about you, that Hugo loves Catherine, that Catherine fears you no more
because
you have lost your looks.'
Alys
remained silent, the little dolls side-by-side on her lap. Morach took
the
poker and stirred the fire so the log fell backwards and she could see
a deep
red cave of embers. 'Bitter that was for you,' she said, looking deep
into the
fire. 'Sour and bitter to know that your looks are going and you have
had so
little joy from them.'
Alys
said nothing. The dolls in her lap gleamed wetly in the glow from the
fire as
if they were warming back to life after their long cold vigil hung
outside the
castle wall.
'And
you've taken Hugo's desertion badly,' Morach said softly. She did not
look at
Alys, she looked into the heart of the fire as if she could see more
there.
'You saw him dive into the river and pull Catherine out. You saw him
wrap her
warm and bring her back as fast as his horse would go. You saw him hold
her and
kiss her, and now you see him, unbidden, at her side every day and in
her bed
every night. And how she grows and beams and thrives on his love! While
you -
poor sour little Alys - you are like a snowdrop in some shady corner of
the
wood. You grow and flower in coldness and silence, and then you die.'
The
smell from the burning purse eddied around the two of them like smoke
from the
depths of hell. 'So you want your power,' Morach said. 'You want to
make the
dolls yours again, you want to make them dance to your bidding.'
'Fashion
him again,' Alys said suddenly, holding out the mutilated doll of Hugo
to
Morach. 'Make him whole again. I commanded him not to see me, not to
hear me,
not to touch me. I commanded him to lie with Catherine and get her with
child.
Lift my command off him. Make him whole again and passionate for me.
Make him
back to what he was at Christmas when he carried me from the feast, to
lie with
me whether I would or no. Make him how he was when he faced her down
and swore
false oaths to keep me safe. Make him what he was when he sat by the
fire - in
that very room where she sits now - and told me that she disgusted him,
that he
lay with her only to keep me safe, and that his body and soul craved to
be with
me. Make him that again, Morach! Make him new again!'
Morach
sat very still, then she slowly, almost sadly, shook her head. 'It
cannot be
done,' she said gently. 'There is no magic that can do it. You would
have to
turn back time itself, turn back the seasons to Christmas. All that has
happened here since then has happened, Alys. It cannot be undone.'
'Some
of it can be undone,' Alys insisted, her face small and pinched, her
voice
venomous. 'The child can be undone, Morach. The child can be undone in
its
mother's belly. The child can be stillborn. Catherine can die. Then
even if he
does not love me - at least he does not love her. And when she is gone,
and the
child is gone, he will turn back to me.'
Morach
shook her head. 'I won't do it,' she said softly. 'Not even for you,
Alys, my
child, my poor child.' She shook her head again. 'I've aborted babes
and I've
given women miscarriages,' she said.
'I've blighted cattle, oh yes, and men's lives. But they
were always
people who were strangers to me, or those I had reason to hate. Or the
babies
were unwanted and the women desperate to be rid of them. I couldn't
blight the
child of a woman I live with, whose bread I eat. I couldn't do it,
Alys.'
There
was silence. The last remnant of the burning purse flickered and fell
into
ashes.
Then
tell me how to do it,' Alys hissed. 'I can do it to her. I would have
drowned
her that day if you had not meddled, Morach. I will make an end of her
now. And
I warn you not to meddle.'
Morach
shook her head. 'Don't, Alys,' she said warningly. 'I cannot see the
end to it,
and there is so little time...'
Alys
looked sharply at her. 'What have you seen?' she demanded. 'What time?
What
little time?'
Morach
shrugged. 'I can't see,' she said. 'I see a hare, and a cave, and
coldness and
drowning. And little time.'
'A
hare?' Alys asked. 'A March hare? A magic hare? A hare that is a witch
in
flight? What does it mean, Morach? And a cave? And a drowning? Was that
what
should have happened to Catherine? Drowning in a cave, swept underwater
and
buried underground by the river?'
Morach
shook her head again. 'A hare, a cave, a coldness, a drowning, and very
little
time,' she repeated. 'Don't question me, Alys, for I won't act unless I
can see
my way. I know danger when I am thrust towards it. I know fear of fire
and fear
of water. Don't force me forwards when I can sense danger ahead, Alys.'
There
was a silence filled with fear in the room. The women sat, as still as
sighted
deer, waiting for their sense of terror to pass by. It was moments
before
either of them spoke. Then it was Alys, and her voice was not like her
voice at
all.
'You
have to do something,' she said slowly. She was looking down at the
dolls on
her lap. And her face was alight with a mixture of fear and exultation.
'Why?'
'Because
the dolls have come alive,' Alys said. As she spoke she leaned closer
and could
see their little chests rise and fall in a slow languid rhythm of
breathing.
'They are alive,' she said. 'We will have to do something with them,
Morach, or
they will start acting on their own.'
Alys
had never before seen Morach afraid. The woman seemed to hunch into
herself as
if she were cold, as if she were hungry. The long, hard years on the
moor,
living off the vegetable patch and the few begrudging gifts seemed to
have laid
their mark on her after all, and the gloss and the comfort of the weeks
in the
castle fell away as if they had never been.
They
had the dolls hidden beneath their pillow. At night Alys could feel
them squirm
beneath her head. During the day she felt their eyes follow her,
through the
pillow, through the rug, as she went around the room. They lived beside
the two
women, three monstrous little ghosts summoned into life and now
impossible to
kill.
The
two
women were afraid. Both Morach and Alys were afraid that someone would
see the
cover on the bed stir and lift. They feared a scrupulous maidservant
coming
unbidden to shake the covers. They feared the prying eyes of Eliza
Herring or a
surprise visit from Father Stephen. The little dolls were so vivid in
their
minds they could hardly believe that no one else saw them, that no one
else
felt their presence, that no one else heard the occasional little cry
muffled
by the pillow, from behind the closed door.
'What
are we to do with them?' Alys asked Morach, at dawn on the third day.
Neither
woman had slept; the little dolls had stirred beneath the pillow all
night. In
the end they had wrapped themselves against the cold dawn air, thrown
more wood
on the fire, and sat at the hearth, huddled together, as the flames
flared up.
'Can we burn them?' Alys asked. Morach shook her head. 'I dare not,'
she said.
'Not now they're so lively. I don't know what they would do.' Her face
was
drawn and grey with fear and fatigue. 'What if they leaped out of the
fire and
came running, all melting and hot after us?' she asked. 'If the dolls
themselves did not burn us, then Lord Hugh would have us for
witchcraft. I wish
to all the gods that I'd never given them to you.'
Alys
shrugged. 'You taught me the spell to give them power,' she argued.
'You must
have known we would be stuck with them, lively, forever.'
Morach
shook her head. 'I never heard of it like this before,' she said. 'I
never
heard of it so powerful. It's your doing, Alys. It's your power. Your
power and
the great hatred you poured into them.'
Alys
clenched her hands on her blanket. 'If I have all this power why can I
get
nothing I want?' she demanded. 'I can make mistakes so powerful that my
life is
at risk. I can betray my mother and all my sisters. But the little
skill to win
a man from a woman I can't do. I get little joy from my power, Morach.'
Morach
shook her head. 'You're all contradictions,' she said. 'That's why your
power
comes and goes. One after another you have loved and betrayed. And now
you want
Hugo. What would you do if you had him?'
Alys
closed her eyes for a moment. Behind them, under the pillow in the
shadowy bed
draped with thick curtains, the little dolls lay still as if they too
were
listening.
'I
would love him,' she said, her voice languid with desire. 'I would make
him my
love, my lover. I would make him so drunk with me, so drugged with me
that he
would never look at another woman. I would make him my servant and my
slave. I
would make him mad for me.'
Morach
nodded and hitched the blanket a little closer. 'You'd destroy him too
then,'
she said. Alys flinched and opened her mouth to argue. 'No,' Morach
said. 'It's
true. If you take a young lord and make him your slave then you destroy
him as
much as an old lady left to burn to death. You're a darker power than
any I've
ever known or heard on, Alys. I wonder where you came from that dark
night when
I found you, abandoned at my door.'
Alys
shook her head. 'All I want is the things that other women have,' she
said.
'The man I love, a place to live, comfort. Catherine is laden with
goods. I
want nothing more than she has. What right has she that I have not?'
Morach
shrugged. 'Maybe you'll get it,' she said. 'In your little time.'
'How
little?' Alys asked urgently. 'How long do I have, Morach?'
The
old
woman shrugged, her face a little greyer. 'I can't see,' she said.
'It's all
gone dark for me. The bones, the fire, the crystal, even the dreams.
All I can
see is a hare and a cave and coldness.' She shivered. 'As cold as
death,' she
said. 'I am learning fear in my old age.'
Alys
shook her head impatiently. 'I am afraid too,' she said. 'Every day we
are in
greater danger with the moppets here. Let's decide and be done with
them. We
dare not keep delaying.'
Morach
nodded. 'There's that holy ground, a little preaching cross, on the
moor
outside Bowes,' she said slowly. 'The other side of the river from my
cottage.'
Alys nodded. 'Tinker's Cross,' she said. 'Aye,' Morach said.
'Sanctified
ground. That's the place for them. And the cross is near a lonely road.
No one
ever goes there. We could leave here in daylight, be there at midday,
bury them
in the holy ground, sprinkle them with some holy water, and be back
here by
supper.'
'We
could say we were fetching plantings,' Alys said. 'From the moorland,
heather
and flowers. I could take the pony.'
Morach
nodded. 'Once they're buried in holy ground they're safe,' she said.
'Let your
sainted Mother of God take care of them instead of us.'
Alys
lowered her voice to a whisper. 'They won't bury us will they?' she
asked,
'remember what I told you about the doll of Catherine? She pulled me
into the
moat, Morach. She meant to drown me when I tried to sink her. The
little dolls
won't find a way to bury us in revenge?'
'Not
in
holy ground,' Morach said. 'Surely, they'd have no power on holy
ground? And I
made them and you spelled them. Working together, we must be their
masters. If
we take them soon and put them in holy ground, before they gather their
power...'
Something
in Alys' stillness alerted her. Her voice tailed off and she looked at
Alys,
and then followed Alys' fixed gaze. On the cover of the bed, out of
hiding, the
three candlewax dolls stood in a row, leaning forward as if to listen.
As the
two women watched, silent in horror, the three took one hobbling little
step
closer.
They
had the ponies saddled and harnessed as soon as the grooms were awake.
They
left a message for Lady Catherine and trusted to Morach's reputation
for
stubborn independence as their excuse for leaving without notice and
without
permission. They were both pale and silent as they trotted the ponies
out of the
castle gate. On one side of Alys' saddle she had slung a spade, and
tied to the
pannier was a sack which bulged and heaved.
The
ponies fretted all the way through the little town, shied at shadows
and threw
their heads about. Morach clung on with little skill.
"They
know what they're carrying,' she said quietly. As they left the cobbled
main
street of Castleton and started westwards down the country lanes, the
bag went
still and quiet and the ponies went more steadily.
'It's
as if they wanted to betray us,' Morach said, bringing her pony
alongside Alys
and speaking very low. 'There is powerful hatred in them.'
Alys
was white-faced, strained, her blue eyes black with fear. 'Hush,' she
said.
'Did you get some holy water?'
'Stole
it,' Morach said with quiet satisfaction. "That Father Stephen is
careless
with his box of tricks; he left it behind in his room, he thinks
himself safe
in the castle. I could have had some bread from the Mass too, but I
thought
better not.'
'No,'
Alys said. She remembered the last time she had tasted communion bread,
and the
undigested wafer coming up whole in her throat. 'Better left alone.'
The
two
women rode on in silence. It was a day of swirling fog which suddenly
cleared
in bright patches like little islands of sunshine along the road, until
the fog
came down like a grey wet night again.
'If
this fog thickens we can do our business without fear of being seen,'
Morach
said, pulling her shawl up over her mouth. 'All finished and done and
back to
the castle in time for supper.'
Alys
nodded. 'It will thicken,' she said with certainty. 'I am going to get
through
this day without danger. I am going to escape the malice of these
dolls. I am
coming out of this with a whole skin.'
Morach
shot her a look, half rueful, half amused. 'You have the power,' she
conceded.
'Call up the fog then, and safety at any price.'
Alys
nodded, half in jest. 'A thick fog,' she repeated. 'And my safety at
any price,
and ...' She paused. 'Hugo in my arms before the day ends!'
Morach
chuckled and shook her head. 'Impatient whore,' she said smiling. 'You
want
everything, and always at once!'
The
fog
lifted for a moment and the ponies trotted out more quickly along the
road.
Their unshod hooves made little sound on the soft mud. On either side
of the
track great bushes of gorse flowered, bright yellow, empty of perfume
in the
cold air.
A
flock
of lapwings lifted from a meadow by the track and wheeled across the
sky,
calling into the wind. All around them the fog lay grey and thick but
above the
two women was an eye of brilliant blue sky and a bright sun. 'Feel the
warmth of
that sun!' Morach said in delight. 'I love the sun after a cold winter.
I've
been chilled to my bones these last few days. Chilled and shaking. It's
good to
be out in the sunshine again.' Alys nodded, pushing the hood of her
cape back.
Her hair, free of a hood or cap, tangled into golden-brown curls. The
colour
was back in her cheeks. 'The castle is like a prison,' she said
resentfully.
'Whether Catherine is sweet or sour it is wearying to wait on her.'
Morach
nodded. 'As soon as the babe is born, I'm away,' she said. 'Back to my
cottage.'
Alys
nodded. 'You'll just be in time for winter then,' she observed. The
child's due
in October.'
Morach
grinned. In a bush ahead of them a blackbird thrust out his chest and
warbled a
long rippling call. Morach whistled back, exactly the same notes, and
the
blackbird, half angry, half puzzled, repeated his song even louder.
'I
know,' she said carelessly. 'But I'd rather die of cold on the moor
than spend
another winter in that castle.'
'Would
you?' Alys asked. 'Would you really?' Morach looked around at her and
the smile
died from her face. 'No,' she said. 'I cannot abide the cold at the
moment. I'd
do anything rather than be cold and in the dark.'
Alys
shrugged her shoulders. 'You've a whole summer ahead of you,' she said
carelessly. 'Don't fret.'
Morach
shrugged off the shadow which had touched her, lifted her face to the
sunlight
and half closed her eyes. 'And you?' she asked. 'Will you wait for
Hugo? When
this task of ours is done? Will you fatten up and learn to smile, wait
for him
to weary of his tired wife and puking babe? I thought you had grown
impatient
with waiting, I thought you were turning to magic again?'
Alys
looked straight ahead at the swirl of mist before them which hid their
road.
'You saw me with Hugo in the runes, and I dreamed of him and me
together, and a
son we would have. I want him, Morach, and both you and I have seen it.
It must
be there, waiting to happen. Tell me how I can get him.'
Morach
pursed her lips and shook her head. 'You have your power,' she said.
'And
you're young, and when you're not lovesick you are as beautiful as any
girl in
the country. Why wait and pine for Hugo? There are other men.'
Alys
looked out along the straight lane ahead of them, stretching along the
shoulder
of the hill. 'I want him,' she said steadfastly. 'The moment I saw him
I knew
desire. I was straight out of the nunnery, Morach, and he was the first
man I
had ever seen in my life who was a match for me. I wanted him then as a
bird
seeks a mate. Nothing could stop me. Nothing could stop him.'
Morach
gave a cracked laugh, hawked and spat. ' You stopped him!' she
exclaimed.
'Stopped him in his tracks. Turned him cruel and twisted, a monster to
his own
wife. Set them dancing a wicked little dance. And now he loves her.'
Alys'
eyes narrowed, her whole face looked pinched and mean. 'I know,' she
said
through her teeth. 'I should have taken the risk of him loving me and
not
meddled with magic. I should have trusted him to care for me. But I was
anxious
for my own safety ...' she broke off. 'I wouldn't take the risk,' she
said.
Morach
grinned. 'Still the same story then,' she said cheerfully. 'You run to
save
your own skin and then find you have lost the one thing you needed.'
Alys'
pony checked and side-stepped at her sudden grasp on the reins. 'Yes,'
she said
sharply, as if Morach's wit had struck as hard as a stone. 'Yes. My
God, yes.'
There
was silence for a moment. 'Best give him up,' Morach said. 'That's the
other
lesson your life is teaching you. When something is gone - it's gone.
Even if
you lost it by your own folly or cowardice. You've lost your Mother
Abbess and
you've lost Hugo. Give them both up. Let them go. The past belongs to
the past.
Find another love, Alys, and hold on to it this time. Take a risk for
it.'
Alys
shook her head. 'I have to have Hugo,' she said. 'There are too many
promises
between us. I had a Seeing. I can give him a son and I still think that
Catherine will not. I have to be the lady at that castle, Morach. It is
what I
want and it is where I belong. I have dreamed of it over and over. Even
if the
love is gone, even if I have twisted and changed him - even twisted and
changed
myself. I want the castle. I want to be first with Hugo and the old
lord. I
want the dream that I dreamed, even if I am no longer fit for it.'
Morach
shrugged, watching Alys enmesh herself. 'How can I get it?' Alys
pressed her. 'Good
God, Morach, lovelorn wenches are your speciality. How can I get him,
him and
the castle? There are spells, surely?'
Morach
laughed shortly. 'There are none to make a man love you,' she said.
'You know
that as well as I. There are no tricks to make love come and stay. All
magic
can do, all herbs can do, is to summon lust.'
'Lust
is no good,' Alys said impatiently. 'He's lusty enough. And with
everyone else.
I want him to want only me. Only me.'
Morach
smiled. 'Then you have to give him some pleasure that no other can
give,' she
said. 'You have to take him out of his mind with desire. You have to
let him
ride the goddess.' 'What?' Alys demanded.
Ahead
of them the mist was like a grey, wet wall. 'So much for sunshine,'
Morach
said, and hunched her shawl around her shoulders so they trotted into
the
darkness and it enveloped them.
The
ponies' feet were even quieter on the soft wet mud. Around them the
leaves of
the hedgerows dripped wetly. The dark green of the hawthorn was flecked
with
white buds. Then the hedgerows gave way to open moorland and they could
hear
the distant sighing sound of the river.
'What
d'you mean, ride the goddess?' Alys asked, her voice muffled and low.
'Poison,'
Morach said matter-of-factly. 'There's a toadstool, the little grey one
-
earthroot, it's called.'
'I
know
that,' Alys interrupted. 'You give it dried and pounded in food to cure
feverish dreams and lustful visions.'
Morach
nodded. 'Take it fresh, or baked so it is sweet, and it will cause a
fever, aye,
and dreams like madness,' she said. 'If you want a man so badly that
you do not
care what it costs, you trick him to eat the earthroot, and then you
whisper
wild dreams and visions. You dance for him naked, you lay him on his
back, you
lick him all over like a bitch with a puppy. You do whatever enters
your head
to give him pleasure, any way.'
Alys
was breathing fast. 'And what does he do?' she asked.
Morach
laughed shortly. 'He sees visions, he dreams dreams,' she said. 'He may
think
you are the goddess herself, he may think he is flying high in the
skies and
having his lust on the stars. Any dream you whisper to him he will take
for his
own - delight or nightmare, the choice is yours.'
'And
after?' Alys asked. 'When he has taken his pleasure and awakens?'
Morach
chuckled her slow malicious chuckle. 'Then you use your power as a
woman,' she
said. 'No witchcraft is needed then. You swear that all he dreamed was
true -
that you are a witch and you have led him into the wild places that
only we know.
If he is fool enough - and you are barefaced enough - he will never go
with
another woman. Other women are the earth to him after that, plain and
ordinary.
You are fire and water . and air.'
Alys'
face was alight. 'I'll
have him,' she
said. 'I'll trap
him with that. It's
what he wanted from me from the first.' She paused for a moment. 'But
the
cost,' she said, suddenly cautious. 'What's the price for all this,
Morach?'
Morach
laughed wildly. 'You should have been a usurer, not a witch, Alys. A
usurer.
You never touch a thing but you have to know the price. You never take
a risk.
You never gamble all! Always careful, always counting. Always
self-preserving.'
'The cost,' Alys insisted.
'Death,'
the woman replied easily. 'Death for the man.'
At
Alys' sharp look she nodded. 'Not at once, but after a while,' she
said. 'A few
doses may make little difference but if you drug him again every week,
say, for
six months, then his body cannot live without it. He needs it like
other men
need food and water. He needs it more than he needs food and water. He
is your
slave then, your dog. You do not have to bed with him unless you
please, he
needs the world of dreams with or without you. He is a dog begging for
its bowl
of food. And he lives as long as a dog will live - five, six years.'
'Have
you used it?' Alys asked curiously.
Morach's
smile was hard. 'I have used everything,' she said coldly.
Alys
nodded, and they rode on in silence for a little while, the noise of
the river
growing louder as they came nearer.
'Is
the
river in flood?' Alys asked, her voice muffled by the cloth she had
wound
around her face.
'Not
yet,' Morach said. 'But it's rising. If it rains in the hills then it
will
spout out of the caves and flood the valley. It's been a wet winter
this year.'
'Will
the bridge be clear?' Alys asked, peering ahead.
'We
have a few hours yet,' Morach said. 'But if there is a storm on the
hills we
won't have long to do our business and get home dry-shod.'
'Not
much business to do,' Alys said. The bundle of dolls stirred as if to
contradict her.
'Here
then,' Morach said and went to turn off the mud lane. The ponies
hesitated at
the muddy track down the hillside. Morach peered at the churned mud
beneath
their hooves. 'This track was used recently,' she said. Her eyes went
to Alys'
face. 'Several horsemen,' she said. 'And dogs.'
'Hugo,'
Alys said. 'He must have come hunting this way yesterday. It doesn't
matter,
Morach. We are well ahead of him this day. He usually sits with her
until after
dinner.'
Morach
scowled. 'I wish he'd stay home all day,' she said. She kicked her pony
irritably and the animal jolted forward, slipping and sliding down the
track.
Alys followed.
'We'll
be finished and headed for home before he sets out,' she said. 'And
there's
nowhere else for us to go. Tinker's Cross is the only sacred ground
nearby. We
can hardly dig up the chapel graveyard.'
Morach's
pony flinched at another kick. 'I don't like it,' she said irritably.
'If he
sees us with a muddy spade, even after we've finished, he'll ask why.'
'We'll
hide the spade,' Alys said reassuringly. 'It'd be as hard to get it
back as it
was to steal anyway. We'll hide the spade and the sacking and the
pannier bag
and ride home with a bunch of heather and herbs. No one will challenge
us, they
all know we need grasses from the moor to keep Catherine well. No one
doubts
us, . Morach.' 'Hide it where?' Morach asked stubbornly. Alys shrugged.
'I
don't know! Why are you so sour? Aren't there caves enough along the
river-bank
where you could hide half an army? We'll shove it down one of the caves
and
wedge it tight so the river cannot wash it out again. The waters are
rising,
it'll be high summer and drought before anyone can go down the caves
again. The
waters will hide it for us.'
Morach
shivered and spat over her left shoulder. 'You can hide it,' she said.
'I'll
not go near a cave, nor deep water. Look around you for a likely place
as we
cross the river.'
Alys
nodded. 'I'll go first,' she said. 'The ponies may be afraid of the
bridge.'
It was
the natural stone bridge upstream of Morach's old cottage, formed out
of great
slabs of limestone, with the river bubbling, like brown soup, below.
When the
river was in spate great gouts of water would fountain up from the
cracks in
the river bed as the underground torrents burst out, and every cave and
pothole
along the bank would be a boiling spring of melt-water and storm-water,
forced
up from the underground lake to wash into the surface river. On either
side of
the river-bank, as much as six feet away from the water, was the
high-water
line of sticks and straw and rubbish from the last flood. The ponies
put their
heads down and sniffed suspiciously at the stone slabs beneath their
hooves,
then delicately stepped across, as light as goats, ears forward,
listening to
the rush of the water beneath them.
'There's
a good place,' Alys said. The mouth of the cave was a little way along
the
river-bank. She slipped from the saddle and threw the bridle at Morach.
Both ponies
dropped their heads to the short moorland grass and cropped. Alys
scrambled up
the little slope and peered inside the cave.
'It
goes back miles,' she said, her voice echoing. 'I can't see the end of
it. It
could go for miles into the hillside.' She came out again and took the
reins
from Morach. Morach's face was strained. 'Did you hear the water
rising?' she
asked. 'I'm afraid of it coming up early. We don't want to be cut off
this side
of the river if the water is rising.'
'I
heard it, but it was far away down at the bottom of the cave,' Alys
said.
'We'll have enough time. Come on.'
The
two
ponies straggled up the hill on the far side, stepping out on the dry
ground,
floundering in the bogs. Ahead of them, on the track, they could see
the mark
of horses' hooves.
There
was a cairn on the top of the hill and the wide, dry moorland
stretching all
around them. Morach pushed her shawl off her face and looked around
her.
'That's better,' she said. 'Tinker's Cross is this way.' She led the
way, kicking
her pony into a trot. Alys' pony trotted behind, the pannier bumping at
every
step. The mist had cleared now they were on the top of the moor, though
it
clung to the valley sides. Ahead of them, Alys could see the thin
finger of the
old Celtic cross pointing upwards. Around it was a little circle of
stones, the
edge of the sanctified ground. When Alys came up to the cross Morach
had
already dismounted and was tying her pony to a holly bush.
'Give
me the dolls,' she said to Alys. 'And dig them their grave.'
Alys
untied the pannier bag from the saddle and handed it, unopened, to
Morach.
Morach hunkered down on the wet turf and held the bag in her arms.
Quietly she
crooned a little tune at the dolls, while Alys untied the shovel from
the other
side of the saddle.
'If
you
remember any of your prayers you should say them,' she remarked,
without
raising her eyes. 'The holier the act of burying them the better.'
Alys
shrugged. 'I remember them,' she said. 'But coming from me they might
as well
be said backwards. I am far from the grace of God, Morach. You'd be
closer to
heaven than me.'
Morach
shrugged almost regretfully. 'Not I,' she said. 'I've not set foot in a
church
in twenty years, and I never understood what they were saying even
then. I made
my choice. I don't regret it. But I'll never work with deep shadows
again as
you have done here. It's too powerful for me.'
Alys
thrust the spade hard into the holy ground and twisted it out tearing
at the
tough roots of the grasses. 'I went as deep as I was driven,' Alys
said. 'You
counselled me to it. You said if I lost one god I should seek another.'
'Hush,'
Morach said, looking around. The bag on her lap stirred and she held
them
tighter. 'Keep your voice down,' she said. 'There is older magic here
than the
cross. That holly tree was planted to mark this place before the cross
was
raised. The old magic runs very strong here. Don't wake it now.'
'It
was
your bidding,' Alys insisted in a whisper, thrusting the spade in
deeper. 'It
was my choice to use it, but it was your spell.'
Morach
looked up at her, her dark eyes gleaming. 'We had an agreement,' she
said.
Alys
was silent, digging hard. She was through to the stone soil now, the
grave for
the dolls was a spade's width across.
'You
ordered
them, you took responsibility for them,' Morach insisted. 'They are
your dolls.
I made you swear that you would not blame me for them, whatever they
did.'
Alys
said nothing, turning out shovelfuls of damp soil into a little heap.
'By
rights I need not be here,' Morach said resentfully. 'Your dolls, your
magic,
and your bitter power that has made them so lively.'
Alys
rested on the handle of the shovel and pushed back a lock of hair with
one
grimy hand. 'Have done,' she said. 'Is this deep enough?'
Morach
leaned forward. 'A little more,' she said. 'We want them to sleep well,
the
bonny little things.'
Alys
thrust the spade deep again and then jerked her head up. 'What's that?'
she
demanded. 'Did you hear?' 'What?' Morach asked quickly. 'What?' The
mist was
closing down again, swirling around them. Alys shrank back. 'I thought
I heard
something,' she said.
'Heard
what?' Morach said. 'What d'you hear, Alys?' 'Horses,' Alys said, so
softly
that Morach could scarcely hear the words.
'What'll we do, Morach?
What'll
we do if someone comes?'
'I
hear
them!' Morach said urgently. 'I heard a horn!' There was a sudden blast
of a
hunting horn, very near them, and then out of the mist two great
deer-hounds
leaped, dashed past Morach, nearly knocking her over, and bayed,
savagely,
terrifyingly, at Alys.
Alys
flung herself back till the cold stone of the cross at her back stopped
her.
She pressed back against it and the dogs, their hackles high and
prickly on
their great backs, opened their mouths and roared at her like lions.
'Hugo!'
Alys screamed over the noise. 'Hugo! Save me! Call your dogs off me!
Save me!'
The
horn blasted loud again and then a great roan stallion leaped out of
the mist
towards them and reared to a standstill. Hugo jumped down with his
riding whip
in his hands and beat his dogs back.
Alys
flung herself towards him and he caught her up in his arms.
'Alys?'
he said in amazement.
The
other huntsmen rose out of the fog, one of them slipped a leash on each
of the
dogs. 'Alys, what are you doing here?' Hugo looked around and saw
Morach,
rising to her feet, her face a sickly grey and a bag which kicked and
squirmed
in her hand.
'What
d'you have there?' he rapped out. Morach held the bag fast and shook
her head.
She seemed to have lost her tongue in her terror. She shook her head
harder and
harder like an idiot child incapable of speech.
'What
d'you have there?' Hugo demanded again, his voice hard with his own
fear.
'Answer me! Answer me! Tell me what you have in that sack!' Morach said
nothing
but the bag went suddenly still. Then Alys screamed, a sharp, piercing
scream
of pure terror, and pointed. The bag was splitting open, from bottom to
top,
like the rancid skin of a rotten peach. Splitting and bursting open.
And out of
it, marching like a row of crippled soldiers, came the three dolls. The
scrawny, beaky, old lord, the grossly pregnant woman doll, and the
sightless,
fingerless, mouthless, earless Hugo.
'She
did it!' Alys screamed, the words pouring out of her mouth like a river
in
flood. 'She did it! She made them! She hexed them! Morach did it!
Morach!'
Morach
stared Alys in the face for one full, incredulous second, then she
whirled
around and plunged into the fog, skirts snatched up, running as fast as
she
could like a hunted animal, into the deepest fog in the valley.
'Holloa!'
Hugo yelled. 'A witch! A witch!' He jumped up into the saddle, seized
Alys'
arm, and hauled her up behind him. The horse was dancing to be off and
Alys
grabbed at Hugo's shoulders. The huntsman unleashed the dogs and they
bayed and
circled the hunters, as if they could not catch the scent. One of them
pawed up
at Alys, reaching for her, its wide mouth open, its breath hot. Hugo
kicked it
down with an oath. 'Holloa! Holloa!' he yelled again. 'A witch! Find
the witch!
Seek the witch! Seek her!'
The
big
dog bayed again and flung himself at Alys but then the huntsman blew
his horn
in a great discordant shriek and the dogs broke away into the mist.
Hugo's huge
stallion wheeled and dashed after them. Alys pressed her face to Hugo's
back
and clung around his waist, weeping in her terror.
Morach
was ahead of them, scrambling downhill, slipping in the mud, crawling
over the
stones, and then up again, running for her life. The dogs sighted her
and bayed
a deeper note. She whirled around when she heard it and they saw a
glimpse of
her white face, then she fell to her hands and knees and dropped out of
sight
for one moment.
'A
hare!' a young huntsman called. 'A hare! She'll change herself into a
hare!'
As he
spoke a hare broke from the ground beneath their feet, black-tipped
ears laid
smooth, head flung back, and tore away down the hill towards the river.
The
dogs shot off on the new scent, yelping like mad puppies as the hare
gained on
them.
'She'll
make a circle!' Hugo yelled. 'Cut her off! Turn her back!'
Alys,
gripping while the horse leaped and bounded beneath her, was screaming
into the
wind, 'No! No! No!' but Hugo could not hear her. The huntsman was
blowing his
horn, the hounds were yelping and the brown hare, her long legs
pounding, was
sailing across the ground in great bounds, her eyes white-ringed with
terror.
'She's
heading for the river, Sir!' a huntsman yelled. They were closing on
the prey
but not fast enough. 'She'll get down one of those holes and we'll
never get
her out.'
'Faster!'
Hugo shouted. 'Cut her off! Don't let her get to the river-bank! Drive
her into
the river!'
The
hounds surged forward but the hare jinked and turned and snatched
herself away.
The horses stumbled and slithered down the steep hillside, the riders
urging
them on. The hare was headed for the stone bridge; they could see her
clearly,
racing across the grey stone slabs, and the hounds, a few lengths
behind her
and going faster on the stones. Then she leaped down from the bridge
and flew
off to the left, leaving the dogs snapping at the empty air, and dived
into the
deep cave Alys had found earlier. Baying with anger the hounds flung
themselves
at the opening.
'Whip
them off! Whip them off!' Hugo yelled. They'll get stuck. She'll lure
them down
there and trap them.'
He
flung himself from his horse and strode towards them, his whip hissing.
The
hounds fell back, snarling and dripping from their red mouths, and went
to the
huntsman. Hugo, shaking with excitement, went slowly to the mouth of
the cave
and cautiously peered in.
'Mortal
deep,' he said. 'I'd go down there for a beast but not for a
witch-turned-hare.' The men nodded. 'She could turn back,' one warned.
'Or
change into a snake in the darkness,' another nodded.
'What'll
we do?' the young one asked. Instinctively they looked towards Alys.
She was
clinging to the pommel as the horse shifted restively, and when she
looked up
her face was tear-stained, wild.
'Wait,'
she said, her voice shaky and shrill. There was a rumble of thunder and
a crack
of lightning over the high dark hills to the west, the source of the
river.
Hugo
came back to the horse's side and looked up at Alys. 'Wait?' he asked.
'What
d'you mean? Wait?' Alys laughed hysterically. 'The storm is come,' she
cried.
She looked westward. A few fat drops of rain fell sluggishly from the
sky, then
more, then more. 'So?' Hugo asked.
'The
water is rising,' Alys said. Her voice shook and then she was laughing,
laughing too much to speak, while the tears poured down her face. 'The
water is
rising. While you wait out here, dry-shod, she waits in there.
Listening.'
Hugo
gaped at her. 'Listening?' he repeated.
'She
will hear the roar of the underground lake rising up, she will hear the
gurgle
of all the little streams flowing towards her, and then she will feel
the rush
and suck of the torrent around her ankles, and then, rising quickly,
around her
knees.
'She
may try to come out, she may struggle to climb up, but her head will
touch the
stone roof of the cave and the water will come up, and up, and up,
until it
bursts over her face and there is nowhere for her to hide and nothing
but flood
water for her to breathe.'
Hugo
was pale. 'We swim her underground?' he said.
Alys'
face was gaunt with horror. Her voice was the high cackle of madness.
'Look,'
she said, pointing to the high-water line of the debris of branches and
straw.
It lay like a ribbon along the river-bank, a clear yard above the
entrance of
the cave. 'Nothing will swim out of there,' Alys said, laughing and
laughing.
'Nothing! You guard the entrance and the storm will do your work for
you. The
rain will be your torturer. The deep flooding river will be your
executioner.
Morach is dead! Dead as she feared to die!'
There
was silence for a long minute, then there was a dull roll of thunder
and a
livid purple-yellow flash of lightning which outlined the horizon of
the
western hills. The sky above them was greenish yellow, as bright as
decay, and
rolling in quickly from the west were clouds as dark as midnight.
Hugo
looked up at Alys. Her face was ugly with strain. Her heart was
pounding. All
she could think of was how to survive. How to escape the charge of
witchcraft
which must come next. Her laughter had been blown away by the ominous
breeze
which was blowing the storm towards them, but her cheeks were still wet.
'Don't
cry,' Hugo said. He pulled off his leather gauntlet and put up his hand
to
brush her cheek.
'I was
afraid,' Alys said. When his hand touched her face she turned towards
it so
that his palm brushed her lips.
'Afraid
of what?' Hugo asked softly. 'I'd not hurt you.' Alys shook her head.
'No,' she
said. 'I know that.' 'Then what did you fear?' Hugo asked. 'Her.' Alys
nodded
to the dark mouth of the cave. 'She had made some dolls, she said they
would do
her bidding. She said that if she made the dolls sick then the people
would be
sick.' Hugo nodded. 'I saw them,' he said. 'They were vile.' 'You saw
them as
she shook them out of the bag,' Alys said quickly, 'as she let the bag
open and
shook them out. She told me that she would be mistress of the castle,
that she
would command your father, and you, and me, and Lady Catherine. With
the
dolls.'
Hugo
looked at Alys and she saw an old superstitious fear cross his face.
'This is
nonsense,' he said uncertainly. 'But you should have told me.'
Alys
shrugged. 'How could I? I never see you alone now. Your father is too
old and
frail to be frightened with such dark fears. And I would not trouble
Lady
Catherine, not now.'
Hugo
nodded. 'But what were you doing with her?' he asked. 'When I rode up?'
'She
had agreed to stop,' Alys said. 'She promised to bury them in holy
ground, to
put away the magic. But she would not come out alone. She forced me to
come
too. She did not dare stand on the holy ground. She made me dig the
hole. Only
I could step on holy ground, because she was a black witch - leagued
with the
devil - and I am not.'
Hugo
nodded. 'You must have been very afraid,' he said. He put his warm hand
out and
closed it over hers as she gripped the pommel of the saddle.
Alys
looked down at him, her face alight with joy at his touch. 'I am afraid
of
nothing now,' she said. 'And I have my power, my white power, good
power, which
is dedicated to you and to the service of your family. I was using my
power for
you, to keep you all safe. I was struggling with her evil - and none of
you
knew.'
Hugo
put a foot in the stirrup and swung into the saddle behind Alys.
'Come,' he
said over his shoulder to the men. 'We'll go home. I have to speak to
my lord
and to Father Stephen about this matter. Alan, you block the hole with
rocks,
boulders as big as you can carry, and wait here with Peter until the
water
rises and covers it. You can keep the dogs with you.'
The
men
nodded.
Hugo
hesitated. 'As you love me ...' he said. 'No word of this to anyone. If
you
want to follow me to Newcastle, on my travels, or to London - not one
word. We
tell everyone that the woman fell into the river and was drowned. All
right?'
The
young men, grave-faced, nodded.
'If
you
gossip,' Hugo said warningly, 'if you chatter, like silly girls, then I
will
not know which of you has whispered this story.' He looked from one to
another.
'I will turn all of you away, and you will never find service with a
noble
house again,' he said. 'You will go back to your fathers, my cousins,
and I
will tell them that you are not worthy to be in my family.'
The
men
nodded. 'You have my word,' they said, one after another, like an oath.
'You
have my word.'
Hugo
nodded and clicked to his horse. The young huntsman fell into line
behind Hugo.
They rode up the moorland path to Tinker's Cross again. Hugo tightened
his arms
around Alys.
'I
have
missed you,' he said in sudden surprise. 'I have been planning this
voyage so
carefully, and been so busy with the farms and the castle and the new
house,
and watching so much over Catherine that I had forgotten the pleasure
of your
touch, Alys.'
Alys
nodded. She leaned back against him, feeling his warmth, the way he
moved
easily with the strides of the big horse.
'I saw
you pale and quiet and I thought nothing of it,' Hugo said
remorsefully. 'I
thought you were sulking with me, because of that night. And I felt
angry with
you, for refusing me a second time.' He dropped his head forward and
pressed
her to his cheek. 'I am sorry,' he said simply. 'I have not cared for
you as I
should.'
'I
have
been very unhappy,' Alys said, her voice low. Hugo held her close.
That's my
fault,' he said. 'I wanted to be free of your love, of the promises I
had made
you. It all seemed - ' He broke off. 'Oh, I don't know! Too
complicated. There
was Catherine near-drowned and sick. There's my father failing but
looking as if
he will live forever. There's my new house, which I want more than
anything in
the world, and my father won't give me the funds! And then there you
were,
looking at me with your big eyes like some vagrant deer. I am selfish,
Alys,
that's the truth. I didn't want more troubles.'
Alys
turned her head a little and smiled at him. 'I am not your trouble,'
she said
confidently. 'I'm the only one who can help you. I'm the only one who
cares for
you. I have grown sick this winter nursing your father, caring for your
wife,
and fighting this great evil of Morach which Catherine insisted on
bringing
into your family. If it had not been for me and my white power I don't
know
what Morach would have done.'
Hugo
shook his head. 'I'd like to believe it can't be so,' he said. 'But I
saw her.
And then I saw the hare. This is a bad business, Alys.'
'Well
ended,' Alys said firmly. 'We'll think no more of it. I fought against
her and
you have killed her, and the thing is done.' Her hands on the pommel of
the
saddle were white with tension, her fingers ached.
'Yes,
it's done and we'll keep it quiet,' Hugo said. 'I don't want to
distress
Catherine, not at this time. And my father would be disturbed. We'll
collect
those little dolls and give them to Father Stephen. He'll know what to
do with
them. And we'll say no more on this.'
Alys
nodded again.
'You
are lucky it was me that found you,' Hugo said. 'If it had been anyone
else
they would have tried to catch two witches, not just the one.'
Alys
shook her head. 'I have taken an ordeal,' she said coldly. 'I am no
black
witch. I counselled Lady Catherine against having Morach in the castle,
and I
warned her that though I am just a herbalist and a healer, Morach
always had a
reputation for dark work. I warned her and I warned you. No one would
listen.'
Hugo
nodded. 'That's true,' he conceded. He was silent for a moment while
his horse
walked up the path to the high moor. 'It must have been an odd
childhood for
you, Alys, all alone on the moorland with a woman like Morach as your
mother.'
'She
was not my mother,' Alys said. 'I am glad of it.' She paused. 'My
mother, my
real mother, was a lady,' she said. 'She died in a fire.'
Hugo
pulled his horse to a standstill and looked down at the ground.
The
spade lay where Alys had dropped it, beside the little hole. The
pannier bag
was on the ground, split from top to bottom. But there were no little
wax dolls
anywhere.
The
wind stirred the heather all around them and the rain began to fall in
great
thick drops of water. Alys pulled her hood up over her head and felt
the wind
tug her cape. There were no little dolls anywhere on the sodden ground.
Hugo
jumped down from the horse and kicked around in the clumps of heather.
'I can't
see them,' he said. 'Hey! William! Come and help me search for them.'
'Search
for what, my lord?' William asked, dismounting and leading his horse
forward.
'For
the dolls, the dolls that the old woman had in her sack,' Hugo said
impatiently. 'You saw them.'
The
young man shook his head. 'I didn't see anything, my lord,' he said. 'I
just
saw the old woman running off and then the hounds followed a hare and
ran it to
ground.'
Hugo
squinted against the driving rain. 'You saw nothing?' he asked.
'No,
my
lord,' William said, his round face wet, his hair plastered to his
scalp.
Hugo
hesitated, not knowing what to say, then he laughed shortly and slapped
him on
the back. 'Mount up, we'll go home,' he said and swung back into the
saddle
himself. 'Lead those ponies back to the castle.'
'Will
you not hunt for the dolls?' Alys asked, her voice low.
Hugo
shrugged his shoulders and turned his horse homeward. 'If they were
made from
lye or tallow they'll melt quick enough,' he said. 'They were maybe
broken
under the horses' hooves. Maybe they were fancy and cheating like half
the rest
of witchcraft. They're on sanctified ground - for what that is worth -
let's
forget it.'
Alys
hesitated for a moment, glancing back at the holly tree. There was
something
white at the root; she leaned forward to see. Hugo tightened his grip
around
her waist.
'Don't
fret,' he said. 'Let's away, it's going to pour with rain.'
He
turned the horse but Alys did not take her eyes from the roots of the
holly
tree. She saw a tiny little white root, like a worm, like a little
candlewax
arm. She saw a tiny, misshapen, white hand. It waved at her.
'Let's
go!' she said with sudden impatience.
Hugo
wheeled the horse and it reared forward into a great loping canter, all
the way
across the top of the moor until it slowed for the ford south of the
castle.
'What
shall we tell Lady Catherine and your father?' Alys asked, her words
whipped
away by the wind.
'That
Morach fell in the river and drowned,' Hugo said. 'And when the baby
comes, you
will be able to deliver him, won't you, Alys? You will care for him and
for
Catherine?'
'Yes,'
Alys said. 'I was at every childbirth Morach attended since I was two
years
old. And I have delivered several babies on my own. I didn't want to
care for
Catherine while she hated me, but I can do well enough now. I will care
for him
as if he were my own child.'
Hugo
nodded and held her more closely. 'I thank you,' he said formally.
'I
won't fail you,' Alys said. 'I shall use all my powers to keep
Catherine well.
Your baby will be born and I will keep him well. For you, Hugo, and for
me. For
your fortune and your freedom depend on him. And I love you so well
that I want
you to be rich and free.'
Hugo
nodded, and Alys sensed he was smiling. She leaned back into the rich
warm
jerkin and felt his body heat warm her through, and his arm tighten
around her
waist.
'I
have
news for you that I have been saving,' she said. She hesitated on the
lie for
no more than a moment. 'I am with child, Hugo,' she said. 'I am going
to bear
your child. We lay together only once but I am fertile for you and you
are
lusty and strong with me.'
Hugo
was silent for a moment. 'Are you sure?' he asked incredulously. 'It's
very
soon.'
'It's
nearly two months,' Alys said defensively. 'He will be born at
Christmas.'
'Christmas.''
Hugo exclaimed. 'And you're sure it is a son?' 'Yes,' Alys said
determinedly.
"The dream I had at the Christmas feast last year was a true Seeing.
You
and I will have a son and we will be lovers, we will be as man and
wife.'
'Catherine
is my wife,' he reminded her. 'And she is carrying my son.'
'But I
am carrying another son,' Alys said proudly. 'And your son on me will
be strong
and handsome. I know it already.'
Hugo
chuckled. 'Of course,' he said soothingly. 'My clever Alys! My lovely
girl! He
will be strong and handsome and brilliant. And I will make him wealthy
and
powerful. He and his half-brother can be companions for each other. We
will
bring them up together.'
Hugo
loosened the reins and the big horse moved forward faster in its
rolling
canter. 'My father will be glad,' Hugo said, raising his voice against
the wind
in their faces and the rain. 'His own whores had sons by the quiverful
- but
his own wife had only the one.'
'And
who loved him the best, and who did he love the best?' Alys challenged.
Hugo's
broad shoulders shrugged. 'That matters not at all,' he said
dismissively.
'Love is not for us. Land, heirs, fortune - these are the things that
matter
for lords, Alys. The poor can have their loves and their passions. We
are
interested in weightier things.'
Alys
leaned back and rested her head against his shoulder. 'One day you will
love as
passionately as a peasant,' she said softly. 'One day you will be mad
for love.
You will be humbled to dirt for it.' Hugo laughed. 'I doubt it,' he
said. 'I
doubt that.' They rode in silence for a little while, Alys weighing the
lie of
pregnancy, which should guarantee her safety whatever anyone in the
castle said
against her or against Morach. Hugo would never lose the chance of
another son,
even if a proclaimed witch were carrying it. While he thought she was
carrying
his child he would die to protect her. But once the lie was discovered
. ..
Alys
shook her head, she could plot no further than one move at a time, plot
and
trust to her dreams of herself in the garden in Catherine's rose and
cream
gown. A scud of rain hit her in the face, and a low rumble of thunder
sounded
around the western hills and rolled nearer.
Alys
had a sudden vision of Morach listening to the sound of the storm in
the dark
cave, her head against the stone ceiling, the water roaring and washing
around
her knees, and the hounds waiting for her outside. She blinked. For a
moment
she could feel the hard unyielding stone on the back of her own neck as
she
pressed upwards, away from the water. The water around her legs was icy
cold,
storming with currents, a rising torrent which tumbled around her
knees, and
poured unstoppably to pull at her skirt around her thighs. Some
driftwood banged
against her roughly and she stumbled and fell into the water and sprang
up
again, drenched and trembling, clumsy with the weight of the water in
her gown.
It was
as if the water had tasted her now and wanted more. A great wave
buffeted the
cave, hitting her sideways, and she knocked her face against the rock
wall and
felt the weight of the earth all around her. It was now nearly too late
to
crawl out and face the men but the terror of drowning was suddenly
greater than
her fear of the hounds, and she scrabbled at the wall, trying to find
her way
back out. Her hands, bruised and bleeding, battered against the wall of
the
cave and then suddenly stretched out into a void of water where the
river beat
its way outwards. She stretched out her hands like a blind woman,
pummelling
the swift current, longing for the cold touch of air. Then her knuckles
scraped
the roof of the passage out of the cave.
She
had
left it too late. The narrow hole out of the cave was already filled to
the
ceiling with the tumbling roil of flood water. All that was left for
her was
the little pocket of air trapped in the roof of the cave, and as she
turned her
face upwards to breathe into it another surge of water bellowed into
the cave
and the level of water leaped from waist-height to her shoulders. Her
gown was
filled with water, the current swirling around her whole body. Pushed
and
pulled by the torrent she lost her footing and fell, with a roaring
noise in
her head as the water rushed into her ears, her nose and her mouth.
Hunger for
life threw her upwards again, to the last little hollow of air in the
roof of
the cave. But as she reached for it her head cracked against the
ceiling of the
cave and her open choking mouth tasted only water. Alys moaned.
'What's
the matter?' Hugo's voice pulled her back to the present, to her
dangerous
gamble, to his arm comfortingly around her. 'Did you say something?'
'Nothing!'
Alys said brightly.
A
great
squall like a dark curtain spread down along the valley, blotting out
the hills
all around them.
'The
river's up,' said Hugo with satisfaction. 'The witch is drowned.' He
shook the
water out of his eyes and pressed the roan horse into a canter. 'All
speed for
home,' he said.
Gossip
about Morach's sudden departure from the castle could not be prevented.
Too
many people had known that she had ridden out with Alys, and seen Alys
return
alone with Hugo. William had seen nothing, but the other huntsmen had
seen that
notorious sight - a witch change herself into a hare - and would not
remain
silent for ever. But the word could be kept from Catherine. Hugo
summoned the
women into the gallery while Catherine slept before supper and told
them that
if he heard one word - one word - spoken out of turn about Morach in
Catherine's presence, he would beat that woman and turn her out of the
castle
in her shift.
The
women opened their eyes wide and muttered among themselves.
'She
is
drowned,' Hugo said baldly. 'With my own eyes I saw her fall into the
river and
drown. And the man or woman who denies that is calling me a liar.' His
hand
lightly touched his belt where his broadsword would hang. 'I would kill
a man
for that, and beat a woman. I cannot stop you chattering among
yourselves' - he
swept them with his dark accusing look - 'no power on earth could
prevent that.
But one word of suspicion or doubt before Lady Catherine and you will
wish you
had been born mute.'
Only
Eliza found the courage to speak up. 'What about Alys?' she asked.
'Alys
stays with us,' Hugo said. 'She is a good friend to our family. She
will care
for Lady Catherine now, and for my son when he is born. It will be as
it was
before Morach came to the castle. You can forget Morach. She is gone.'
He
waited in case there should be a reply and then he smiled his joyless
commanding smile and walked from the gallery to seek his father.
Alys
was there before him, sitting in the twilit chamber on a stool at the
feet of
the old lord, giving him the news before Hugo should come. 'Morach's
gone,' she
said without preamble.
The
old
lord looked sharply at her. Alys nodded. 'She and I were up on the high
moor
together. She was making some mischief with candlewax dolls and I went
with
her, to stop her. Hugo was out with his hounds and they saw her, and
chased her
down a cave and left her there to drown.' The old lord said nothing,
waiting.
'She was a witch,' Alys said harshly. 'It's good that she's dead.' 'And
you are
not,' the old lord said slowly. Alys turned her pale face up to him.
'No, my
lord,' she said gently. 'Not at my ordeal, when Catherine hated me and
tested
me so harshly; and not now. I have made my peace with Catherine and I
am her
friend. I am in love with your son, and I love and honour you. Tell me
that I
can stay in your household, under your protection. I am free of Morach
and I am
free of the past.'
The
old
lord sighed and rested his hand on her hand. 'What of your power?' he
asked.
'You lost it when Morach came and when Hugo would not love you.'
Alys
gleamed up at him. 'I have it back,' she said. 'Morach had stolen it
from me
and stolen my health as well. She knew I would stand between her and
you. She
knew I would protect you and yours from her witchcraft. She made me ill
and
weak and she was starting to work her ill will against you all. Now
that she is
dead I have my power back and I can keep you safe. Tell me that I may
live here
under your protection, as your vassal.'
The
old
lord smiled down into Alys' bright face. 'Yes,' he said softly. 'Of
course. I
wanted you by me from the first day I saw you. Don't make trouble
between
Catherine and Hugo, I want a legitimate heir, and after this one I want
another. You and Hugo can be what you will to each other - but don't
distress
my daughter-in-law while she is carrying my grandson.'
Alys
nodded obediently, took his caressing hand and kissed it. 'I have news
for
you,' she said. 'Good news.' The old lord waited, his eyebrows raised.
'I am
with child,' Alys said. 'Hugo's child. He lay with me the night he came
home
from Newcastle. I am not like Catherine, hard to please, hard to
conceive. I am
with child to Hugo. I have missed two times. The baby will be born near
the
Christmas feast.'
The
old
lord gleamed. 'That's good!' he said. 'That's good news indeed. And
d'you think
it will be a son, Alys? Can you tell if it will be a boy?'
Alys
nodded. 'A boy,' she said. 'A strong, handsome boy. A grandson for you,
my
lord. I shall be proud to be his mother.'
The
old
lord nodded. 'Well enough, well enough,' he said rapidly. 'And it means
that
Hugo will likely stay here until your child is born. Between you and
Catherine,
I shall keep him fast at home.'
'Yes,'
Alys said eagerly. 'Catherine could not keep him home but he will stay
for me.
I will keep Hugo home for us both, my lord. I want him to leave for
London or
on his voyage as little as you do.'
The
old
lord barked his sharp laugh. 'Enchant him then,' he said. 'And keep him
by
you.' He paused for a moment and looked at her with pity. 'Don't
overleap
yourself, Alys,' he said gently. 'You will never be his wife. You will
always
be Catherine's lady. Whatever goes on at court - and I say nothing
about that
-whatever goes on at court, we are simple people here. Catherine is
your
mistress, you serve her well. Hugo is your lover and also your lord. I
don't
deny I am fond of you, Alys, but if you forget what is owed to your
masters I
would throw you from the castle tomorrow.
'Serve
Catherine honourably and well and let Hugo take his pleasure with you
when he
wishes. That was how I kept my women. A wife for the heirs, and a woman
for
pleasure. That's order and sense. That's how it should be done.'
Alys
kept her head down and her resentment hidden.
'Yes,
my lord,' she said submissively.
David
took her by the sleeve as she passed him by on the ill-lit stairs.
'I
hear
your kinswoman is dead,' he said softly.
'Yes,'
Alys replied steadily. Her voice did not quaver, her face was serene.
'A
hard
death for a woman - drowning in cold river water,' David said.
Alys
faced him down. 'Yes,' she said.
'And
what of you now?' David pursued.
Alys
smiled into his face. 'I shall care for Lady Catherine,' she said. 'I
shall
serve and honour Lord Hugh, and his son. What else?'
David
drew her a little closer, pulled at her sleeve so that she leaned down
and his
mouth was near to her ear. 'I remember you when you were a fey wild
thing off
the moor,' he said. 'I saw you naked, changing your rags for the
whore's shift.
I heard that you took the ordeal for witchcraft. I saw you sicken and
pine for
the young lord. Now I ask you. What next?'
Alys
twitched her sleeve from his grip, straightened up. 'Nothing,' she said
blandly. 'I will serve Lady Catherine and help her during the birth. I
will
obey my Lord Hugh and honour his son. There is nothing more.'
The
dwarf nodded. His smile gleamed at her in the darkness. 'I wondered,'
he said.
'I truly wondered about you. I thought you had the power to turn this
castle on
its ears. When you brought in the old woman, the witch, with all her
power, I
thought you were about to act. I have been watching you and wondering
when you
would make your move. I have had you in my mind for the new lady of the
castle.
So close as you are to the old lord! So powerful in your witchery to
tame
Hugo's wildness! And if you had a child - as you foresaw in your dream
- such a
wife you would be for him!'
Alys
took a sharp breath but she held her gaze steady on his dark, angry,
little
face.
'What
went wrong?' the dwarf asked curiously. 'What went wrong between you
and the
old witch? You were on your way, weren't you? The old witch was within
Catherine's confidence, you and she would have attended
the birth alone. What would it have been?
Stillbirth? Strangled with the cord? Breech? Coming backwards and
drowning in
the blood?' He laughed, a sharp cruel laugh. 'But you were in too much
of a
hurry, weren't you?' he said. 'Wanted Catherine dead and out of the way
and
Hugo all your own? I saw you pining and fading and losing your looks.
It was
eating you inside like a bellyful of worms, wasn't it, little Alys? So
you
hexed Catherine into the river, didn't you? Hexed her into deep water,
wearing
her thick furs so that she would drown.'
Alys
was as white as skimmed milk. 'Nonsense,' she said bravely.
'And
the old one pulled her out,' the dwarf said. 'D'you know? I rather
liked the
old one, your mother.'
'She
wasn't my mother,' Alys said. Her whole face felt stiff, unnatural. 'I
just
lived with her. My real mother died in a fire.'
'Fire?'
the dwarf said acutely. 'I never heard that before?'
'Yes,'
Alys said. Her voice held a depth of despair. 'My mother, my real
mother, died
in a fire. And nothing has ever been right for me since she was gone.'
The
dwarf cocked his head on one side, viewing her like some strange
specimen. 'So
now you've lost one to fire and one to water,' he said
unsympathetically. 'But
shall I call you Lady Alys yet? Will Catherine go the way of your two
mothers?
Fire? Water? Or by earth? Or by air? And what of you? Will it be the
castle or
a hidden place in town - a bawdy house in everything but name?'
Alys
took one angry step down the stair and then turned on the step and
looked back
up. Her face was bright with spite. 'You will say Lady Alys to me,' she
said
passionately. The dwarf recoiled from her sudden rage. 'You will say
Lady Alys
to me - and I shall say "Farewell!" to you. For I shall be Hugo's
wedded wife. And you will be a beggar at my gate.'
She
turned and pattered down the stairs, her fine gown floating after her,
not
looking back. David stayed on the step listening to her footsteps going
down
and around the curving stone stair.
'I
doubt that,' he said to the cold stone walls. 'I doubt that very much
indeed.'
Catherine
was heartbroken at the loss of Morach. She wept and clung to Alys when
she was
told, and Alys put her arms around her and they held each other like a
pair of
orphan sisters.
'You
must stay with me now,' she said. She could scarcely speak for sobbing.
'You
have her skills, you were there to help me just as she was there to
help me
when I was nearly drowned, when I nearly lost my life. You're her
daughter, I
loved you both. Oh! But Alys! I shall miss her.'
'I
shall miss her too,' Alys said. Her blue eyes were flooded with
unspilling,
convincing tears. 'She taught me all that she knew, she gave me all her
skills.
It's as if she handed the care of you over to me before she left us.'
Catherine
looked up trustingly. 'Do you think she knew?' she asked. 'Do you think
she
knew with her wisdom all along that she would leave us?'
Alys
nodded. 'She told me she saw a darkness,' she said. 'I think she knew.
When she
took you from the river I think she knew then there would be a price to
pay.
And now the river has taken her.'
Catherine
wailed even louder. 'Then she died to save me!' she exclaimed. 'She
gave her
life for me!'
Alys
smoothed Catherine's hair with one soft, hypocritical hand. 'She would
have
wanted it that way,' she said. 'She, and I, are glad to make that
sacrifice. I
have lost my mother for you and I do not,' her voice gave a little
pathetic
quaver, 'I will not regret it.'
Catherine
was sobbing without restraint. 'My friend, Alys!' she said. 'My only
friend.'
Alys
rocked her gently, looking down at the puffy, tear-blotched face. 'Poor
Catherine,' she said. 'What a state you are in!'
She
raised her voice and called for the women. Ruth came at once.
'Send
for Hugo,' Alys said. 'Catherine needs him.' He came at once and
recoiled as
Catherine, blubbering, reached out her arms to him with a wail of
grief. He
dropped to his knees before her chair and held her. 'Hush, hush,' he
said
gently into her hair. He looked up at Alys, not seeing her. 'Have you
nothing
you can give her?' he asked. 'Nothing that can calm her? It ' cannot be good for the
child for her to
distress herself so.'
'She
needs to calm herself,' Alys said distantly. Catherine sobbed and held
Hugo
closer. 'I know,' she said, sniffing. 'But she made me laugh. She made
it seem
as if everything was a jest. She told me things about her life that
made me
laugh till I cried. I can't believe she won't walk in now and laugh in
our
faces.'
Alys
shot one quick look at the door. The tapestry quivered. For a moment it
seemed
all too likely that Morach would walk in, trailing water and icy river
weed,
and laugh in their faces with her blue drowned mouth opened wide.
'No,'
Hugo said quickly. 'She won't do that, Catherine. She is drowned. Try
not to
distress yourself so.' He turned to Alys. 'Surely you have something to
calm
her?' he said.
'I can
give her a distillation of the flower of Star of Bethlehem,' Alys said
coldly.
She went to her room. In the linen chest were the little bottles and
powders
and herbs which she and Morach had amassed. On the bed was Morach's
white
cotton nightshift. In the draught from the open door it billowed for a
moment
and raised itself a little up on the bed, as if it would get up and
walk
towards her. Alys stared at it hard for several moments. The arms
shifted
slightly as if they would point at her accusingly. Alys leaned back
against the
door and stared it down until she could force it to lie flat and limp
again.
'Here,'
she said, coming back into the gallery.
Hugo
took the glass from her without looking up and gave Catherine sip after
sip,
watching her face and talking to her in a low, gentle voice. When she
stopped
sobbing, sat up, and wiped her face with her handkerchief, he looked
around at
Eliza and said, 'Here! Make her ladyship's bed ready! She should sleep
now.'
Eliza
ducked a curtsey and went through to Catherine's room.
'Have
you anything to help her sleep?' he asked Alys over his shoulder.
She
went back to the room she had shared with Morach. A log had shifted on
the
little fire and the shadows leaped and danced around the bed. For a
moment it
looked as if there were someone sitting on the chest at the head of the
bed
with their face turned towards the door. Alys leaned back against the
door and
pressed her hand hard against her heart. Then she fetched the drops of
crushed
poppy seeds for Lady Catherine, so that her ladyship might sleep well
in the
comfort of her great bed.
Hugo
took the draught without thanks and led Catherine - one arm around her
thick
waist - out of the gallery and into her bedroom.
Alys
watched them go, saw Catherine's head droop to Hugo's shoulder, heard
her
plaintive voice and his gentle reassurances. Alys tightened her lips,
curbing
her irritation.
'Won't
you be afraid to sleep tonight on your own?' Eliza asked Alys as the
door shut
behind the couple. 'No,' Alys said.
Eliza
gave a little scream. 'In a dead woman's bed!' she exclaimed. 'With the
pillow
still dented with her head! After she had drowned that very day! I'd be
afraid
she would come to say her farewells! That's what they do! She'll come
to say
her farewells before she rests in peace, poor old woman.' Alys shrugged
her
shoulders. 'She was a poor old woman and now she's dead,' she said.
'Why should
she not rest in peace?'
Ruth
looked sharply up at her. 'Because she is in the water,' she said. 'How
will
she rise up on the Day of Judgement if her body is all blanched and
drenched?'
Alys
felt her face quiver with horror. 'This is nonsense,' she said. 'I'll
not hear
it. I'm going to bed.'
'To
sleep?' Mistress Allingham asked, surprised.
'Certainly
to sleep,' Alys replied. 'Why should I not sleep? I am going to get
into my
nightshift, tie the strings of my cap and sleep all the long night.'
She
stalked from the room and shut the door behind her. She undressed - as
she had
said she would - and tied the strings of her nightcap. But then she
pulled up
her stool to the fireside and threw another log on the fire, lit
another candle
so that all the shadows in the room were banished and it was as bright
as day,
and waited and waked all night - so that Morach should not come to her,
all
cold and wet. So that Morach should not come to her and lay one icy
hand on her
shoulder and say once more: 'Not long now, Alys.'
The
next day Alys summoned a maid from the kitchen and they cleared the
room of
every trace of Morach. The kitchen maid was willing - expecting gifts
of
clothes or linen. To her horror at the waste of it all, Alys piled it
all up
and carried it down to the kitchen fire.
'You're
never burning a wool gown!' The cook bustled forward, eyeing the little
pile of
clothes. 'And a piece of good linen!'
'They
are lousy,' Alys said blankly. 'D'you want a gown with a dead woman's
fleas?
D'you want her lice?'
'Could
be washed,' the cook said, standing between the fire and Alys.
Alys'
blue eyes were veiled. 'She went among the sick,' she said. 'D'you
think you
can wash out the plague? D'you want to try it?'
'Oh,
burn it! Burn it!' the cook said with sudden impatience. 'But you must
cleanse
my hearth. I cook the lord's own dinners here, remember.' 'I have some
herbs,'
Alys said. 'Step back.' The cook retreated rapidly to the fire on the
other
side of the kitchen where the kitchen lad was turning the spit, leaving
Alys
watched, but alone. Alys thrust the little bundle into the red heart of
the
fire.
It
smouldered sulkily for a moment. Alys watched until the hem of Morach's
old
gown caught, flickered and then burst into flame. Alys pulled a little
bottle
from her pocket. 'Myrrh,' she said and dripped one drop on each corner
of the
hearthstone, and then three drops into the heart of the fire. 'Rest in
peace,
Morach,' she said in a whisper too low for anyone to hear. 'You know
and I know
what a score we have to settle between us. You know and I know when we
will
meet again, and where. But leave me with my path until that day. You
had your
life and you made your choices. Leave me free to make mine, Morach!'
She
stepped back one pace and watched the flames. They flickered blue and
green as
the oil burned. On the other side of the kitchen the cook drew in a
sharp
breath and clenched her fist in the sign against witchcraft. Alys paid
her no
heed.
'You
cared for me like a mother,' she said to the fire. The flames licked
hungrily
around the cloth and the bundle fell apart and blazed up, shrivelling
into dark
embers. 'I own that now. Now it is too late to thank you or to show you
any
kindliness in return,' Alys said. 'You cared for me like a mother and I
betrayed you like an enemy. I summon your love for me now, your
mother-love.
You told me I did not have long. Give me that little space freely.
Leave me to
my life. Morach. Don't haunt me.'
For a
moment she paused, her head on one side as if she were listening for a
reply.
The dark smoky smell of the myrrh filled the kitchen. The kitchen lad
kept his
face away from her and turned the spit at extra speed, its squeak
rising to a
squeal. Alys waited. Nothing happened. Morach had gone.
Alys
turned from the fire with a clear smile, nodded at the cook. 'All done,
clothes
burned and the hearth cleaned,' she said pleasantly. 'What are you
making for
the lord's dinner?'
The
cook showed her the dozen roasted chickens waiting to be pounded into
paste,
the almonds, rice and honey ready for mixing, the sandalwood to make
the
mixture pink. 'Blanche mange for the main course,' she said. 'And
Allowes - I
have some good slices of mutton. And Bucknade. Some roasted venison. I
have
some fish, some halibut from the coast. Would you want me to make
something
special for Lady Catherine?' she asked ingratiatingly.
Alys
considered. 'Some rich sweet puddings,' she said. 'Her ladyship loves
sweet
things and she needs all her strength. Some custards, perhaps some
leche
lombarde with plenty of syrup.'
'She's
growing very fat and bonny,' the cook said admiringly.
'Yes,'
Alys said sweetly. 'She is fatter every day. There will scarce be room
for my
Lord Hugo in her bed if she grows much bigger. Send a glass of negus
and some
custards and some cakes up to her chamber, she is hungry now she is in
her
fifth month.' The cook nodded. 'Yes, Alys,' she said. Alys paused on
her way to
the door, one eyebrow raised.
The
cook hesitated, Alys did not move. There was a powerful silence as the
cook met
Alys' blue eyes and then glanced away. 'Yes, Mistress Alys,' she said,
unwillingly
giving Alys a title. Alys looked slowly around the kitchen as if
defying anyone
to challenge her. No one spoke. She nodded to the kitchen boy and he
scrambled
from the spit to open the door for her into the hall. She passed
through
without a word of thanks.
She
paused as the door closed behind her and listened in case the cook
should cry
out against her, complain of her ambition, or swear that she was a
witch. She
heard a hard slap and the spit-lad yell at undeserved punishment. 'Get
on with
it,' the cook said angrily. 'We don't have all day.'
Alys
smiled and went across the hall and up the stairs to the ladies'
gallery.
Catherine
was resting in her room before dinner, the women gathered around the
fireside
in the gallery were stealing an hour of idleness. Ruth was reading a
pamphlet
on the meaning of the Mass, Eliza was daydreaming, gazing at the fire.
Mistress
Allingham was dozing, her head-dress askew. Alys nodded impartially at
them all
and walked past them to her own chamber.
The
maid had swept up the rushes from the floor as she had been ordered,
and left
the broom. Alys took it up and meticulously swept every corner of the
room,
sweeping the dust and the scraps of straw into the centre of the room.
Carefully she collected it all and flung it on the fire. Then she took
a scrap
of cloth and wiped all around the room, everywhere that Morach's hand
might
have rested or her head brushed. Every place where her skirt might have
touched
or her feet walked. Round and around the room Alys went like a little
spider
spinning a web. Round and around until there was no place in the room
which she
had not wiped. Then she folded the cloth over and over, as if to
capture the
smell of Morach inside the linen - and flung it into the heart of the
fire.
The
maid, complaining, had brought new rugs and a spread for the bed and
Alys
smoothed them down over the one solitary pillow. She shook out the
curtains of
the bed and tied them back in great swags. Then she stepped back and
looked
around the room with a little smile.
As a
room for two healers, two midwives for the birth of the only son and
heir, it
had been generous. It was as big as the room next door where the four
women
slept, two to a pallet-bed. As a room for one woman, sleeping alone, it
was
noble. It was nearly as big as Lady Catherine's, the bed was as large,
the
hangings nearly as fine. It was colder than Catherine's room - facing
west out
over the river - but airier. Alys had chosen not to scatter new herbs
and
bedstraw on the floor, but the room smelled clean. It was clear and
empty of
the clutter of women, no pots of face paint, no creams, no half-eaten
sweetmeats like in Catherine's room. Alys' gowns, capes, hoods and
linen were
in one chest, all her herbs, her pestle and mortar, her crystal and her
goods
were in the other.
There
was one chair, with a back but no arms, and one stool. Alys drew the
chair up
to the fire, rested her feet on the stool, and looked into the flames.
The
door opened. Eliza Herring peeped into the room. 'There you are!' she
said
awkwardly.
Alys
raised her head and looked at Eliza, but said nothing.
Eliza
looked around. 'You've swept it,' she said, surprised. Alys nodded.
'Aren't
you coming out to sit with us?' Eliza asked. 'You must be bored in here
on your
own.' 'I'm not bored,' Alys said coolly. Eliza fidgeted slightly, came
a little
further into the room and then stepped back again. 'I'll come and sleep
in here
with you, if you like,' she offered. 'You won't want to be on your own.
We
could have some laughs, at night. Margery won't mind me moving out.'
'No,' Alys
said gently.
'She
really won't,' Eliza said. 'I already asked her, because I guessed you
would
want company.'
Alys
shook her head. Eliza hesitated. 'It's bad to grieve too much,' she
said
kindly. 'Morach was a foul old woman but she loved you - anyone could
see that.
You shouldn't grieve for her too long, Alys. You shouldn't sit here all
alone,
grieving for her.'
'I'm
not grieving,' Alys said. 'I feel nothing. Nothing for her, nothing for
you
women, nothing for Catherine. Don't waste your worry on me, Eliza. I
feel
nothing.'
Eliza
blinked. 'You're shocked,' she said, trying to excuse Alys' coldness.
'You need
company.'
'I
don't want company and I cannot have you sleeping in here,' Alys said.
'Hugo
will want to be on his own in here with me very often. I have prepared
the room
for the two of us.'
Eliza's
eyes widened, her mouth made a soundless 'O'. 'What about my lady?' she
demanded when she could find her voice. 'She may not be well, Alys, but
she has
enough life in her to throw you back into the street. Hugo would never
cross
her while she is carrying his child.'
Alys'
lips smiled without warmth. 'She will become accustomed,' she said.
'Everything
is going to be different now.'
Eliza
blinked. 'Just because Morach drowned?' she asked.
Alys
shook her head. 'It is nothing to do with Morach. I am expecting Hugo's
child.
It will be a son. Do you tell me that he will let Catherine rule me,
when she
is carrying one son and I another?'
Eliza
gasped. 'But hers is legitimate!' she protested. Alys shrugged. 'What
of that?
You can never have too many sons and Hugo has no other. I think they
will treat
them both as heirs until they know that the succession is safe, don't
you?'
Eliza
held the door against her and peered around it. 'Is this dukering?' she
asked.
'Divining and dukering?'
Alys
laughed confidently. 'This is mortal woman's knowledge,' she said.
'Hugo has
been lying with me ever since he came back from Newcastle. Now I am
with his
child I want a room to myself and perhaps a little maid to wait on me.
Why
should Catherine object? It will make no difference to her.'
'She
made it bad enough for you before,' Eliza warned.
Alys
nodded. 'Yes,' she said. 'But now she is ill and weary all the time,
and I am
the only one who can quiet her fears. She would cling to me whatever I
did. And
I will care for her kindly enough.'
Eliza
nodded with begrudging admiration. 'You've come a long way, Alys,' she
said.
'They
call me Mistress Alys now,' Alys said. 'Would you ring for a tub and a
pitcher
of hot water? I shall take a bath.'
'Ring
yourself!' Eliza exclaimed, instantly indignant.
Alys
whirled up from the chair and took Eliza by the shoulders, shook her
and held
her, putting her angry face very near. 'I will warn you once, Eliza,'
she said
through her teeth. 'Everything is different here now. I am Alys no
more. I am
carrying Lord Hugh's grandchild by his son who is barren with every
other woman
but me and his wife. I am second only to his wife. I can count you as
my
friend, or I can count you as my enemy. But you will not live here long
if we
are enemies.'
The
fight went out of Eliza in a rush. 'You're very lucky,' she said with
half-hearted resentment. 'You came as nothing and now you're to be
called
Mistress Alys.'
Alys
shook her head. 'I came as a learned woman, a healer and my lord's
clerk,' she
said proudly. 'I am the daughter of a noble lady. I am fit for this. I
am as
fit to be the Lady here, as Jane Seymour is for the Crown. Now ring for
hot
water, I shall take a bath.'
Eliza
nodded, slowly. 'Yes, Mistress Alys,' she said.
Two
men
servants carried the big barrel up the winding stairs and into Alys'
room and
set it down close to the fire. A kitchen maid came with a sheet of
linen and
spread it over the sides and bottom of the bath. Two men behind her
brought
great buckets of scalding water. They poured it in and went back for
two more.
Alys sent them for a fifth to leave by the side of the barrel with a
ladle to
add more hot water as she wished. She shut the door behind them and
opened the
chest where she kept the herbs. She had dried honeysuckle and rose
petals in a
purse of linen and she took a handful and scattered them on the water.
She had
a tiny bottle of oil of chamomile and she rinsed her hair with it. She
sat in
the hot water with her head resting against the back of the barrel and
rubbed
her hands all over her body, crushing the flower petals against her
skin. Her
hands went over and around her breasts until the nipples stood hard and
tingled
to her touch. She shook out her wet hair and let it tumble over the
side of the
barrel and drip carelessly on the floor.
As the
water cooled she roused herself from the bath, wrapped herself in a
warm sheet
and sat in solitary silence before her fire. She sniffed at the skin of
her
forearm, like a sensuous little animal. She smelled of meadow flowers
from the
petals, and her fair hair smelled of honey. Her body was lithe and slim
and
lovely. Her face was grim.
'Tonight,'
Alys said softly to herself. Tonight, Hugo.'
Alys,
washed, scented, oiled, and dressed in a simple blue one-piece gown
with a blue
ribbon at her waist, had to wait with what patience she could simulate
all
through a long and tedious day. Lady Catherine was still too grieved to
come
down to dinner. She whimpered for company; and Hugo, looking in at the
ladies'
gallery on his way to the hall, was prepared to dine with her in her
room. That
left the old lord eating on his own, solitary, at the centre of the
long high
table, glowering under his dark eyebrows. When the meats were taken
away Alys
left the women's table and went to him and leaned over him to ask a
question.
The women heard his sharp laugh and a low-voiced reply to Alys. Then he
nodded
her, casually, to a stool further down the table, and talked with her
until the
meal was ended. David's gaze, as he watched them served with the voider
course
of wafers, fruit and hippocras wine, was bright.
'Is
Alys to sit with Lady Catherine's women no more?' he asked the old
lord. 'Is
she your guest now, my lord?'
The
old
lord gleamed under his eyebrows. 'I was bored,' he said
uncompromisingly. 'And
there was no one to talk to. If my daughter-in-law has forgotten her
duty to
dine at my table and my son takes to her chamber with her like a
maid-in-waiting - what am I to do? Sit dumbstruck?'
David
nodded. 'I asked only so that I would know where to order her cup
placed for
her,' he said apologetically. 'If you wish the woman to dine with you I
shall
set her pewter here.'
The
lord banged the table with his fist. 'When Catherine is absent Alys can
have
her plate, can't she?' he demanded irritably. 'When in all my life have
I not
had a woman to watch when I wished? And Alys is the best-looking woman
in the
castle. She shall sit with me when Catherine is not here, and she can
drink
from glass and eat off silver. Is that clear?'
David
bowed in silence. When he straightened up he saw Alys watching him, her
blue
eyes bright with amusement. 'Thank you very much, David,' she said
coolly. 'You
are kind to consider my comfort. I would never have had that invitation
but for
you.'
The
old
lord laughed briefly and snapped his fingers for more wine. Alys took
the
flagon from the wine-server and poured it for him, leaning forward so
that he
saw the promising swell of her breasts at the neck of her gown.
'Pretty
whore,' the old lord said with a smile, and threw back his head to
drain the
glass.
Alys,
unashamed, smiled back.
When
dinner was over she went with the Lord Hugh to his chamber and wrote
letters to
his dictation until the light had gone. He had to re-form his alliances
now
that Jane Seymour's family were in favour, and there were rumours that
the
hastily wedded bride was with child. She was said to be trying to
reconcile the
King and his daughter Mary. 'A popish Princess at court again,' Lord
Hugh said
thoughtfully. 'And everything sliding around like a whore's blanket.'
Alys
rang for candles and a glass of mulled wine for the old man.
'I'm
weary,' he said frankly. 'It's a long time coming, this baby of
Catherine's.
When is yours due?'
'End
of
November,' Alys said. 'As we start preparing for the Christmas feast'
The
lord nodded, his eyelids drooping. 'That will be merry,' he said. 'For
us at
any rate. And what d'you think of Catherine? Will she have another soon
after
this?'
Alys
shrugged. 'She's from sickly stock,' she said disparagingly. 'But
there's no
reason why she should not have more. She may take time to conceive
though,
she's not very fertile, is she? This one took her nine years!'
The
old
lord moved restively. 'I should have matched him elsewhere,' he said
irritably.
'But it was so easy, with the wardship in my hands and all. But if I
had known
she would have been so slow to take, I would never have put her with
Hugo.'
Alys
went behind his chair and stroked his forehead. He lay back against the
hard
chair back, quietened by her touch.
'Don't
fret,' she said. 'By this time next year you will have two grandsons -
hers and
mine. By this time next year I shall be pregnant by Hugo again.'
'Setting
up a stud?' he asked, chuckling with his eyes closed.
'I
want
to stay here,' Alys said frankly. 'And I want Hugo. And I want your
protection.
What better way?'
The
old
lord shook his head. 'There is no better way,' he said. 'While you are
carrying
my grandson I am yours to command. You know what this child means to
me.' Alys
nodded. 'I know,' she said. The old lord sighed and sat quietly for a
little
while. With slow easy strokes Alys dragged her fingers across his
forehead,
feeling the soft ridges of the lined old skin under her fingertips. 'I
shall give
you land, Alys,' Lord
Hugh said, luxuriating in her sure touch. 'When your
son is born. I
shall endow you with some land. A woman like you should have a little
wealth, a
little power.'
Alys
smiled, her touch on his forehead never hesitated. 'I should like the
farm next
door to old Morach's cottage,' she said, without hesitation. 'It's a
pretty
place and Morach had a claim to some of the fields. It would please me
to take
the whole farm off them. It will repay them for their robbery of
Morach.' She
gave a soft little laugh. 'Some symmetry,' she said.
'Maybe,'
Lord Hugh replied. 'I'll have David or Hugo look into it.'
Alys
nodded, the gentle pressure of her fingertips slowing to keep time with
his
deeper breathing. In a few moments he was asleep, and she pulled up a
stool to
the foot of his chair and sat down, leaning back against him, watching
the
fire.
In his
sleep his hand stretched out and touched her head. Alys untied the hood
and put
it to one side and let his hand rest on her rumpled curls. They sat
together
for a long while. Alys watched the fire and felt the comfortable warmth
of his
hand on her head like a benediction. She closed her eyes. The warm,
safe, clean
smell of the room and the touch of a hand on her head was like the
abbey and
Mother Hildebrande's touch. Alys closed her eyes too and waited.
He was
not long. Hugo came striding in, his cape pushed back off his shoulders
and his
cap askew from his ride, and checked on the threshold at the picture
they made:
his father's familiar profile softened in sleep and Alys' young beauty
under
his protection.
'Hush,'
Alys said, getting to her feet and drawing Hugo from the room. 'He is
tired. I
have been writing letters for him all afternoon.'
'I've
been riding,' Hugo said. 'Catherine was weary after dinner.'
'Then
only we two are awake,' Alys said, with a little secretive smile. 'Only
we two,
awake, and ...' She paused, glancing at Hugo with a look which promised
everything. 'Only we two, awake and ... restless,' she said.
Hugo
shot her a quick, measuring look from under his dark eyebrows. 'Where
are
Catherine's women?' he asked. 'I left Ruth and Margery sitting in
Catherine's
bedchamber. Where are the others?'
'Gone
into Castleton,' Alys said. 'You could walk into my room and there
would be no
one to see you pass.'
Hugo
nodded. 'Go ahead of me,' he said. 'See that Catherine is still asleep
and her
door is shut.'
Alys
nodded and led the way down the winding staircase and through the
antechamber
before the great hall, and then up to the ladies' gallery above. The
fire
burned low in the grate. The door to Catherine's chamber was closed.
Alys and
Hugo slipped across the gallery and into Alys' room, as silent as
ghosts.
Hugo
shut the door behind them and dropped the bolt home. 'Here is a change,
Alys,'
he said. 'After that first time I thought you found I was not to your
taste.'
Alys
shook her head to loosen her hair and it tumbled around her face in a
shower of
brass and gold. She tossed it from her eyes and smiled confidently at
Hugo,
measuring his rising desire.
'You
took me as a virgin, an ordinary girl,' she said. 'It will never be
like that
again. I withdrew from you to learn my skills. I had to find my
teachers, I had
to know some deep arts before I could lie with you.' 'What arts?' Hugo
asked;
his voice shook slightly.
'You
know of them,' Alys said simply. 'You have dreamed of them, you have
hardly
believed they could be possible between a man and a woman.'
Hugo
touched his lips with his tongue. 'I have heard,' he began, 'of arts
that a
woman, a skilled woman, can use which can make a man crazy for her. And
I have
heard that if you lie with a witch she can take you to the very borders
of
heaven - and beyond. And I've heard that you feel unearthly pleasure,
pleasure
beyond that any ordinary woman can give you.' He gave a nervous excited
laugh.
'All lies and trickery, I suppose?' Alys shook her head slowly, her
hair swung
forward. Hugo leaned towards her. 'You smell of honey,' he said.
'All
those things I can do,' Alys promised. She paused, weighing her words.
'If you
dare.'
'I
dare,' Hugh said quickly. 'I desire them.' Alys smiled and crossed the
room.
Hugo followed her with his eyes. She opened the chest of herbs and took
out a
flagon of spiced wine and two cups. As he watched she poured a cup for
both of
them, turned aside for one second - half a second only - and palmed a
fat pinch
of crushed earthroot into his cup.
'I
drink to your desire,' she said. 'May it bring you all that you dream.'
Hugo
raised the cup and downed it in three impatient gulps. 'And your
desire, Alys?'
he asked. 'When you last lay with me you had no desire.'
Alys
shrugged. 'I was an ordinary maid,' she said. 'You asked me to put
aside my
power for love of you -and so I did. But then you found - did you not?
- that
there are many ordinary maids in the castle. But only one witch.' Hugo
laughed,
a little shaky. 'A witch,' he repeated.
'With
witches' skills.' He moistened his lips with his tongue. 'I scarcely
believe in
witchcraft, Alys. You will have to deal with a modern man, an
unbeliever.'
Alys
smiled, confident in Morach's herbal skills. 'Oh, Hugo,' she said, a
laugh in
the back of her voice. 'You believe and disbelieve at will. But when
you are
out on a cold moor with the mist around you and the river rising, you
see dark
magic and know fear. And when you are here with me, in this room, you
will be
enchanted and know your deepest desires.' 'You've changed,' he said.
Alys
nodded. 'I have found my mistress, the dark mistress of all wise women,
and I
have learned from her. I had to become one with her as if I were her
lover. And
now I know her skills.'
'What
are they?' Hugo asked. 'Your mistress' skills?' Alys put her hands to
the back
of her gown and slowly, almost casually, began to untie the ribbon
laces. Hugo
watched in silence as she shrugged it off her shoulder. She was naked
underneath. She pushed it down over her hips and stepped out of it. She
wore no
shift, no undergown. Hugo hissed an indrawn breath at the sight of her
body and
at the realization that she had planned this seduction. She had dressed
herself
after her bath so that she would be naked before him this day. He
reached out
to snatch at her but Alys gestured to the chair.
'Be
seated, Hugo,' she said, magnificently formal in her nakedness.
Hugo
stepped obediently towards the chair, stumbling as he reached it. Alys
watched
him intently. 'Is it hard for you to walk, Hugo?' she asked. He opened
his
mouth to frame a reply, moving slowly.
'Hard
for you to walk, or talk, or reach for me,' Alys said. 'All you can do
is
watch.'
Hugo,
slack-muscled, entrapped by the drug, lolled in the chair, his eyes,
darkly
dilated, never leaving Alys' white body with the bush of golden hair.
'I
will
tell you what my mistress taught me,' Alys said, her voice a low,
hypnotic
song. 'She taught me to dance so that a man cannot move for desire.'
Alys' hair
fell in a fair curtain over her shoulders, over her breasts, she
stretched to
one side and then another. Hugo could not take his eyes from her moving
body.
'I
can't move,' Hugo said thickly.
'She
taught me to summon my sisters to touch me,' Alys said. Her hands
cupped her
own face, closed over her throat, smoothed down together over her
breasts. The
nipples, rosy and hard, flickered through the curtain of hair. Alys
threw her
head back so her throat was bared, cupped both her breasts in her hands
and
walked towards Hugo. 'I will always have pleasure,' Alys whispered. 'I
will
always have pleasure for the asking. My sisters will come to me at any
time,
any time I ask. And they will stroke me and lick me and kiss me. Can
you see
them yet, Hugo? They are coming to us both. They come to pleasure me
and to
please you.'
His
mouth fell longingly open. Alys stood astride him and rubbed first one
breast
and then another against his lips. Hugo quested for her touch, turning
his head
like a baby. His hands clenched on his thighs but he could not reach
out and
hold her.
'My
mistress has come now,' Alys said in an awed whisper. 'She is in the
room with
me now. Oh God! D'you see her, Hugo? She is naked like I am, and her
hair is
black. Her touch burns my skin like fire and her kisses make me long
for more
and more. With her are my sisters, ten, twenty girls, all naked. All
come to
dance for you, Hugo!'
Hugo
could not take his eyes from Alys but he felt in every corner of the
room the
gathering of women. He sensed their eyes upon him and the growing heat
of their
bodies. Alys, watching him all the time, stroked her hands down across
her
belly to the perfect indentation of her navel.
'Can
you feel me, Hugo?' she asked. 'Can you feel me, and all my sisters and
my
cunning mistress? Can you see us, all naked, can you see the stars in
our hair
and our smiles?'
Hugo
shuddered, a great involuntary shiver which shook his whole body.
'Alys.'
Alys'
hand smoothed down her belly to the golden bush of hair. 'Look, Hugo,'
she
said. 'In all your nasty little games with Catherine, has she ever
stood
proudly before you and let you see her?' Wordlessly, Hugo shook his
head. 'Then
look at me,' Alys said, I am not ashamed, I am not afraid. No man hurts
me, no
man torments me. My sisters and I give each other delight that no man
could
ever match. But we will let you be with us, Hugo. We will let you roll
with us,
play with us, excite us.' With both hands she parted the hair and
rubbed her
forefinger delicately against her pink opening flesh. 'Let me,' Hugo
said
urgently. 'Let me, Alys.' She raised her head again and smiled at him,
mockingly. 'Ah! You must wait,' she said. 'You must wait until you can
see us
all. All my sisters want you to taste them, all of them want to touch
you. We
are all hungry for your touch, Hugo. My sisters and me. D'you see us?
Do you
see us now?'
'I can
see you,' Hugo said. 'And I can feel them, I can feel their hands on
me.'
Alys
came closer at once. 'On your hair and on your face, Hugo,' she
whispered. 'Can
you feel their lips on your face and on your neck? Can you smell their
perfume,
Hugo? The scent of their hair and their sweat and their wetness?
They're ready
for you. They are longing for you. D'you think you can please us? Do
you think
you can please us all?'
Hugo
rolled his head back and groaned. Alys teased his open mouth with one
nipple,
then another, and she slid her wet fingers into his mouth. 'This is the
taste
of her,' she said. 'This is the taste of my sister the Sky Goddess.
D'you like
her?'
Hugo
was sucking frantically, his forehead was damp with sweat, his dark
curls
sticking to his face, desperate with unsatisfied lust. 'Yes,' he said.
'I can
see her now! I can see her white body and her hair.'
Alys
leaned forward and rubbed her breasts against his face, gasping a
little as his
stubble scratched across her nipples. 'This is my sister the Sun
Witch,' she
said. 'D'you feel the warmth of her skin? She is shameless, Hugo! She
cares for
nothing but heat and pleasure!'
Hugo
groaned aloud and butted his head against Alys' moving breasts. 'Give
me your
heat, Sun Witch,' he demanded. 'I want your shamelessness.'
Alys
lowered herself a little to his lap, her slim thighs astride him. 'She
is
coming to sit on you,' she whispered. The Star Goddess, she wants to
feel your
body between her legs.'
The
drug of the earthroot held Hugo passive. He could only arch his back as
Alys
lowered herself and pulled away, lowered again, and then succumbing to
her own
lust, gripped him with her thighs and rubbed herself against his
breeches,
against his padded codpiece.
'I
want
... I want . ..' Hugo stammered. Saliva drooled from his mouth, his
eyes were
turned up in his head, only the whites showing.
'You
want us all,' Alys said. 'Every one of us in every way you can dream
of.'
'Yes,'
Hugo said. 'Alys, please!' Alys untied the codpiece, pulled away the
flap of
his breeches; he was naked underneath. He thrust upwards and she
dropped her
body down to meet him. As they joined she felt a great surge of
pleasure
bounding up through her, and she clung to the thick padded shoulders of
his
jacket while the waves of it washed over and over her.
'She
is
here!' she said triumphantly. 'The mistress of all of them has you in
her
thrall. Open your eyes and look at her. You are planting your seed in
her, open
your eyes and see the mistress you will never match, never replace,
never
reject.'
Hugo,
drugged to the point of blindness, forced his eyes open and saw her.
'Mistress
.. . my lady ... Alys!' he exclaimed in surprise.
'I am
my own mistress,' Alys said, joyful in her power. 'I am my own mistress
at
last.' She fell forward and clung around his neck and heard his harsh
gasp as
his body tightened and throbbed inside her, and then quietened.
As
they
grew cool she lifted herself away and pulled her cape around her
shoulders, and
tossed a handful of pine cones on the fire. She put the flagon of wine
and the
glasses back in the chest, all the time watching Hugo's deep,
trance-like sleep
and his flickering eyelids, as he dreamed of more and more extravagant
orgies.
He groaned once or twice and thrust his hips upwards, into the empty
air.
Alys
put another log on the fire and scattered pine needles on it so that
the room
smelled resinous and sweet. Then she drew up the stool and sat, hugging
her
knees and waiting for Hugo to wake from dreams of colours so bright,
smells so
pungent and touches so intimate, that they were more vivid than
reality. Alys
watched the man she loved rear upwards in his chair and thrust his hips
into
nothingness in a drugged ecstasy, calling her name once, and then
again; and
she felt as far away from him as if she were walking alongside the cold
river-bank on the snow-blown moorland and he were dead and still in his
grave.
He
came
to his senses slowly. He blinked and stared disbelievingly around him,
shook
his head in bewilderment, and then focused on Alys, calmly seated at
the
fireside, her hair tumbled over her naked shoulders, the cape thrown
back, her
bare skin warmed into a thousand tones of peach by the firelight.
'Alys,'
he said. 'What hour is it? And how long did I sleep? I had such a
dream!'
Alys
smiled steadily, her eyes mysterious. 'It is nearly time for supper,'
she said.
'You have not slept, it was no dream. I was here, you were here, all of
them
were here with us for all of that time.'
Hugo
leaned forward, grabbed her hands. 'They were?' he demanded. 'It was no
dream?
They were here, your sisters? And we were together, all of us?'
Alys
laughed a deep ripple of pleasure. 'Oh yes,' she said silkily. 'We were
all
here and you enjoyed every one of us. It was such pleasure, Hugo,
wasn't it?'
'Yes,'
Hugo assented, dazed. 'Oh yes. My God, Alys. I've heard of such things
but I
never dreamed they could happen. But I saw them! I touched them.' 'You touched them!' Alys agreed, smiling. 'You touched us all. I
promised you a time beyond
all the times
you had ever had. What did you expect, Hugo? Some whorish tricks? Or
your nasty
cruelties with Catherine? I can give you your dreams - the cream of
your
desires - nothing less.'
Hugo
leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes again. 'I feel drunk,' he
said. 'I
feel as if I drank for a week and then dreamed for a year.'
Alys
shrugged. 'Time means nothing when you are with us all,' she said. 'And
my
kisses and my sisters' kisses are powerful wine for a man.'
Hugo
opened his eyes and looked at her, his gaze suddenly piercing. 'Is this
a trick?'
he asked acutely. 'Is it a trick you have played on me? With herbs or
poisons
or some stuff? Tell me the truth, Alys. I never want more pleasure than
you
gave me - but I am awake now and want to know the truth. I am not some
country
clown at a fairground to be fooled. It makes no difference to my love
for you -
so tell me. Was it the wine you gave me? Or some trickery?'
Alys
laughed. 'You tell me, Hugo,' she said. 'You have been drunk many times
- have
you ever been potent like that in drink? Have you ever seen my sisters
before
when you were drunk or sober? Have you ever woken clear-headed, feeling
strong
after drinking?'
She
gambled on the power of the earthroot. 'You know what you saw. You know
what
you did! Was it one woman or twenty? Did you have the pleasure of one
woman, or
did you have the pleasure of twenty? Was it me, or was it me as the
mistress of
your dreams, and all of my wicked, desirable sisters?'
Hugo
nodded, leaned back and closed his eyes again. 'Deep, deepest magic,'
he said.
'There were many, many of you. And you, Alys, as mistress of them all.'
Alys
smiled and rose up from the stool and stood before him. 'Yes,' she said
calmly.
'I am mistress of them all. I am in my power. And the pleasure you have
with us
I can give you whenever I wish. Whenever you ask and whenever I
consent.'
Hugo's
eyes darkened with the remainder of the drug and with desire. 'They
will come
again?' he asked.
Alys
smiled. 'Whenever I summon them,' she said. 'My sisters and I - we like
to play
with you, Hugo.'
Hugo
smiled. 'Alys,' he said. 'My love.'
All
through the next week, and the week after, Catherine was sluggish and
tired. In
the morning her women found her pillow damp with her sweat and tears.
She slept
badly at night, dreaming of her long-dead mother, and her father who
had been
reported for speaking treason against the King and died in the cold
cells of
York prison while waiting for his trial. During the day she mourned
Morach -
the only friend she had made in all the years she had spent as Lord
Hugh's ward
and young Hugo's wife. It was as if the loss of Morach had added to all
the
losses she had felt in her life and her grief for all of them
overflowed and
oozed from her eyes, from between her legs, from the very pores of her
skin, in
a steady unstoppable, cold dampness.
Catherine,
who had been a tyrant to her women and a bully to the servants, ceased
giving
orders or making demands. Alys had nothing more to do than sit with
Catherine
in the morning before dinner, and then again in the afternoon while
Hugo went
riding alone. Catherine drank deep of clary - a French red wine - which
Alys
assured her would build her blood, and ate at dinner and supper like a
pig in
farrow, with shameless gluttony. Dazed and sleepy from the wine,
belching with
rich food, and weary as her pregnancy entered its fifth month,
Catherine dozed
on her bed every afternoon after dinner, and fell asleep immediately
after
supper every night. If Hugo desired, he and Alys could be together all
afternoon
and all evening while his wife dozed and - after she fell into a
drunken sleep
- all night. He did desire. The earthroot worked its potent magic
nearly every
day and Alys found he needed smaller and smaller doses to fall into his
waking
dreams of desire. When he came out of them, blear-eyed and
slack-muscled, he
always told Alys that she was his love, his only love. After a month of
drugged
hallucinatory love-making he seemed as addicted to Alys herself as to
the
earthroot. She had no need to weave dreams and fantasies - the smell of
her,
the taste of her, the pleasure he took in her body was enough to throw
him into
his feverish lust. Alys had him enthralled in the deep tangled forests
of his
own desires and Hugo never struggled to be free.
'Got
him on your line, have you?' the old lord asked her one morning as she
watched
Hugo crossing the courtyard below the round tower window.
'My
lord?' she asked, without looking round. Watching Hugo warmed her heart
with a
sweet glow of possession: Hugo was hers now, no one else even tempted
him. His
quick lusts and careless satisfactions in dark doorways were finished,
all the
women in the castle knew it. Hugo was infatuated, mad for Mistress
Alys. The
only woman who did not know it was Lady Catherine.
'On
your
line,' the old lord repeated. 'Hooked, netted and landed. Does he
thrash much
in the net, pretty Alys? Or is he one of the steady ones - a couple of
thrusts
and he is spent?'
Alys
giggled involuntarily. 'Hush,' she said. 'That is no way to talk of the
young
lord.'
'And
does he talk much more of London?' the old lord demanded. 'Going to the
court
and leaving me? Or that damned voyage of his?'
Alys'
smile was proud. 'Not at all,' she said. 'The voyage is still in his
mind, his
heart is still set on the thousand pounds. But other men will sail the
ship, he
will not leave the castle now. I can hold him.'
'Hold
him until that ship is left port and you will have my gratitude,' the
old lord
growled. 'Can you keep him till next spring?'
'He
will not leave me when I am carrying his child,' Alys said. 'And I know
Hugo,
when he sees the son I shall give him he will not be able to tear
himself away.
I will keep him safe for you, my lord.'
Lord
Hugh nodded. 'See you do,' he said. 'But don't keep him from his work
on the
land. He should be out there, talking with the men. There are markets
where
they are skimming the fees they owe us. There are farms months behind
in their
rent. There are tenants dying, wedding, birthing, changing their leases
and not
paying us the proper fines. In every village there is an agent who
reports to
us and pays us the fees. Every one of them is taking his share of what
is
rightfully ours. There's his new house being built and the workmen
taking their
time, I'll be bound. He should be out there, enforcing our rights, not
playing
hunt-the-flea in your shift, Alys.'
Alys
shook her head. 'It is Catherine he sits with during the day,' she
said. 'I
would ride out with him, what could be better for us all than my eyes
and ears
on the land as well as his? But Catherine keeps him home during the
hours he
used to be abroad. If you complain of him neglecting his work on the
land then
it is Catherine you should blame.'
The
old
lord scowled. 'Still sickly is she?' he demanded impatiently. 'What
ails her?'
Alys
shrugged. 'She is weary,' she said. 'She feels weak. She is eating to
keep up
her strength but the more she eats the heavier she gets and the lazier
she
feels. Her strength and her power seem to be fading away. Perhaps she
will be
better when the weather is warmer. She needs the sunshine. And she
misses
Morach still.'
The
old
lord hunched his shoulders irritably, like a ruffled bird of prey.
'Misses that
old witch! She should be ashamed of herself.'
Alys
smiled faintly. 'Odd is it not?' she said. 'You would think that she
was
grieving for a mother. And I, who was raised by Morach, I know her for
what she
was, and I have little sorrow.' She paused. 'As if I were the lady and
not
her,' she said.
The
old
lord cocked a shrewd eyebrow at her. 'No,' he said shortly.
Alys
looked at him.
'Don't
think of it,' the old lord advised her. 'Be glad with what you have
won,
Mistress Alys. You have climbed as high as you will go in this castle.
I like
to have you by me, Hugo is mad for you, even Catherine likes you and
needs you
now, and you are carrying my grandson in your belly. But if you try to
overturn
the natural order, try to leap up to nobility, I will have you thrown
back to
the midden. We are not the King's court here. You cannot make your
fortune on
your back.'
Alys'
blue eyes sharpened with anger but she said nothing.
'Hear
me?' the old lord insisted.
'I
hear
you,' she said levelly.
'And
you'll keep your ambitions for your son,' the old lord reminded her.
Alys
smiled at him. 'As you wish, my lord,' she said pleasantly. 'What a
child he
will be!'
'Yes,'
the old lord said, still irritable. 'Ring the bell for Father Stephen,
I want
him to read to me. I have missed him in his travels away from us.'
'I'll
read,'
Alys offered, moving towards the table and the books.
'I'll have Father Stephen,'
the old lord
said. 'I want a man's voice. Women are very well in their place, Alys.
But you
can grow weary of them.'
'Oh
yes,' Alys agreed. 'I grow very tired of the chatter in the gallery at
times -
such gossip and nonsense! Such a clatter the foolish women make who
have
nothing better to do but eat and grow fat and lazy. I will fetch Father
Stephen
at once for you, and I will send Hugo to you when he comes home. He can
tell
you about the new house, he is riding out today to see the builders.'
The
lord grinned wryly, noting how Alys turned his complaint.
'Clever
little whore,' he said gently.
Alys
smiled back, swept him a seductive curtsey, and flicked out of the room.
In the
ladies' gallery Catherine had not risen from her bed though it was near
noon
and time for dinner. Ruth was in her room showing her one gown after
another,
Catherine pettishly waving them all aside.
'They
don't fit,' she said. 'This baby is getting bigger and bigger. You
should have
altered them, you should have let out the seams, Ruth. I told you to do
so and
you have been lazy and negligent.'
Ruth
shook her head. 'I did alter them, my lady,' she said in her quiet,
frightened
voice. 'I altered them as you asked me. But that was last week, my
lady. You
seem to have grown again around your waist.'
Catherine
sighed and leaned back. 'I am swelling like .' She shot a look towards
Alys in
the doorway. 'Can't you help me, Alys?' she asked pitifully. 'I am so
tired.'
'Are
you eating well, have you your appetite?' Alys asked, coming forward
and laying
a hand on Catherine's forehead. Her skin was oily and damp. Catherine
turned
her face towards Alys' touch.
'You're
so cool,' she said. 'Your hands are so cool and sweet-smelling. I wish
I was
cool.'
'Have
you drunk your negus?' Alys asked. 'And eaten your biscuits?'
'Yes,'
Catherine sighed. 'But I don't feel hungry, Alys. I don't want my
dinner.'
'You
must eat,' Eliza Herring interrupted. 'You must keep up your strength,
my
lady.'
Alys
nodded. 'She is right, my lady. You have the baby to think of. And your
own
health to maintain. You must eat.' 'My legs ache,' Catherine
complained. Alys
turned back the covers of the bed. Catherine's ankles were swollen and
flushed
pink, her calves, her knees, even her thighs, were spongy with extra
fat and
the skin was white and puffy.
'You
need to walk,' Alys said. 'You should be up and walking every day, my
lady.
Walking in the fresh air, or even riding. You could ride a gentle
horse.'
Catherine
turned her head away from the window where the sky was showing blue
with some
strips of white cloud blowing away to the east. 'I'm too tired,' she
said. 'And
I told you, Alys, my legs ache. What sort of healer are you? When I
tell you my
legs ache, you tell me to walk! If I told you I was blind would you
tell me to
look harder?' Alys smiled sympathetically. 'Poor Catherine,' she said
sweetly.
Ruth
started at the use of Catherine's given name but Catherine's face lit
up.
'Morach used to call me that,' she said wistfully. 'And I can remember
my
mother calling me that: "poor Catherine".'
Alys
nodded. 'I know. Poor, poor Catherine,' she said tenderly.
'I
feel
so tired! I feel so unhappy!' Catherine burst out. 'Ever since Morach
has been
gone I have felt as if nothing is worth any effort. I cannot be
troubled to get
out of bed, I cannot be troubled to dress. I wish Morach were here. I
wish she
were still here.'
Alys
held Catherine's hand and patted it gently. 'I know,' she said. 'I
know. I miss
her too.'
'And
Hugo doesn't even care!' Catherine exclaimed. 'I told him how much I
miss her
and he just says that she was a poor old woman and if I have a fancy
for a
peasant there are a thousand like her on our lands. He doesn't
understand!'
Alys
shook her head. 'Men don't understand,' she said. 'Morach was a very
wise
woman, a woman who had seen much and understood the world. But she
taught me
all of her skills, Catherine. And I will be here all the time. I cannot
take
her place in your heart, but all that she could do for you and your
baby I will
do, when the time comes.'
Catherine
snuffled wetly and hunted for her handkerchief. 'And I don't have to
get up for
dinner, do I?' she asked. 'I feel so weary. I'd rather eat up here.'
Alys
shook her head, still smiling. 'No, of course not,' she said tenderly.
'Get up
tomorrow and take a little walk when you feel stronger, but the hall is
noisy
and crowded and people stare so. You don't have to go down to dinner if
you
don't want to. Your health is more important than anything else.'
'And
they tell me that you sit with the old lord?' Catherine asked. 'When I
am not
there?'
Alys
nodded. 'He asked me, and I thought it best,' she said. 'He is a man of
whim
and powerful fancies. I did not want him insisting on company, your
company and
the young lord's. I knew you two wanted to dine alone up here. I
thought if I
talked to the old lord and kept him cheerful he would not insist that
you come
downstairs.'
Catherine
nodded. 'Thank you, Alys,' she said. 'I like to eat my dinner with Hugo
up
here. I am weary of going down to the hall. Keep the old lord amused so
that
Hugo and I can be alone together.'
Alys'
smile was sisterly. 'Of course, Catherine,' she said. 'Of course.'
In the
afternoon, when Catherine was drowsy from a large dinner and too much
wine,
Alys met Hugo in the ladies' gallery and asked if she might go with him
to see
the new house.
'Can
we
not go to your room?' he asked in an undertone.
Alys
shook her head. 'Catherine's women will be here all afternoon,' she
said. 'You
will have to wait till tonight, my lord!'
Hugo
made a face. 'Very well,' he said. 'You can ride the little grey mule,
or one
of the ponies.'
Alys
threw a cape around her shoulders. 'What about Catherine's mare?' she
asked.
'She's quiet enough, isn't she?'
Hugo
hesitated for a moment. 'Yes,' he said. 'Catherine has not ridden for
months,
but she has been exercised by one of the lads every day.'
'I'll
ride her then,' Alys said.
Hugo
hesitated again. 'Catherine might take it amiss,' he said.
Alys
stepped a little closer so that he could smell the perfume on her hair,
and
raised her face to him. 'There are many things of Catherine's which
give me
pleasure,' she said silkily. 'Many things.'
Hugo
glanced quickly around them. Ruth was sitting at the fireside sewing.
As she
caught his glance she dipped her head over her work again and stitched
furiously.
'Don't
tease me, Alys,' he said under his breath. 'Or I shall insult my wife
by
throwing you down and taking you on the threshold of her bedroom.'
Alys'
eyes narrowed and she smiled. 'As you please, my lord,' she said in a
low-voiced whisper. 'You know that I desire you. I can feel myself grow
wet
just at the thought of you.'
Hugo
gave an exclamation and turned and picked up his cloak.
'I am
taking Mistress Alys out to see the new house,' he said shortly to
Ruth. 'I
need her to write some orders for the builder for me.'
Ruth
rose to her feet and bobbed a curtsey but kept her head down as if she
were
afraid to see the desire on their faces.
'Tell
my wife when she wakes that I will be home in time to take supper with
her,'
Hugo said. 'I will send Alys home ahead of me when she has finished her
work.'
Ruth nodded. 'Yes, my lord,' she said. Hugo turned and strode from the
room.
'I'll order the horses,' he said over his shoulder.
'Tell
them to put a saddle on Catherine's mare,' Alys said. 'I don't like the
pony.'
Alys sat uneasily in the saddle as the mare walked quietly across the drawbridge and down the little hill into the town. She had ridden the ponies in the stable often, but the pace of the bigger horse was longer and more rolling, and the ground looked very far away. Gritting her teeth, Alys regretted the vanity which had made her insist on riding Catherine's horse.
On
either side of the road people turned to look at the horses going by
and women
dipped into grudging curtsies and men pulled their caps off their
heads. Hugo
smiled from one side to another as if the tokens of respect were
willing
tributes. Alys, swelling with pride, looked straight ahead as if she
were too
grand to either see or hear them.
At the
corner of the street a barrow was halted selling fresh fish. Alys saw a
girl of
about her own age, seventeen. She was barefoot with a brown shawl
around her
shoulders and a dirty grey gown underneath. At her skirt clung a
whey-faced
toddler and she carried another child on her hip. Her face was marked
with
sores, and there was a dark bruise around her eye. Her hair, uncombed
and
unwashed, hung in thick rats' tails over her shoulders. She bobbed a
curtsey as
the two of them and the two servants rode by. Hugo did not even look at
her.
That
could have been me, Alys thought, her face impassive, her eyes looking
straight
ahead. That could have been me - married to Tom, accepting his fists
and his
lust. That could have been me - Morach's apprentice, always dirty,
always poor.
That could have been me - sickly, pregnant, exhausted. Anything I have
done is
better than that.
Hugo,
ahead of her, rode confidently and easily. His blue cloak flickered
behind him,
matching the deep blue of his puffed breeches and the slashed lining of
his
blue jacket. His riding boots were deep, luminous black, the best
leather well
polished. His blue suede gloves with the gold embroidery would have
kept any
family in this town in food for months. Alys watched his back, torn
between
desire and resentment. He turned in his saddle. 'Horse going well?' he
asked.
Alys
flashed him her most brilliant smile. 'Oh yes,' she said, confidently.
'You
must buy me one of my very own, Hugo. A roan to match yours.'
Hugo
nodded absently. 'You haven't seen the new house before, have you?' he
asked.
Alys
hesitated and let him change the subject. 'No,' she said. 'I saw the
plans when
you were drawing them. And I saw the letters from the men in London who
are
planning houses in the new style.'
Hugo
nodded. 'It's a fine house,' he said. 'We have dug deep down into the
ground
and we will have cellars below ground level. That will keep things cold
even in
the hottest of summers.'
Alys
nodded. The cobbles of the town ended abruptly and the road was
hard-packed
earth, an old Roman road running north. The horses walked more smoothly
on the
easier ground and Alys was getting used to the mare's long-legged pace.
'It
faces south for the sunshine,' Hugo said. 'It's built in the shape of
an
"H" with the entrance door set fair in the middle. There's a parlour
for Catherine and her ladies on the left as you go in. No great hall at
all, no
great dining-room for everyone. No more eating with the soldiers and
servants.'
Alys smiled. 'It will be a great change,' she said. Hugo nodded. 'It's
the new
way,' he said. 'Outside London they never build castles for noblemen,
just
houses, beautiful houses with wide, lovely windows. Who wants a pack of
servants - a private army? I'll always train the peasants for soldiers,
I'll
always have men I can call on. But we don't need a great castle ready
for a
siege at any moment! These are peaceful times. Neither the Scots nor
the
reivers come raiding this far south any more.'
'And
you save money!' Alys said teasingly. Hugo grinned, unrepentant. 'And
there is
nothing wrong with that!' he said. 'It's my father's way, the old way,
to think
a man's power can only be measured by the number of people who have to
trail
after him when he rides out. I would rather be a lord over fertile
lands. I
would rather have ships out on the sea. I would rather have the men who
take my
wage working for me -working every day, not lounging around in the
guardroom in
case I need them in a year's time.'
Alys
nodded. 'You'll have house servants though,' she said. 'And some kind
of
retinue.'
'Oh
aye,' Hugo said. 'I shan't ask Catherine to cook her own dinner!'
Alys
smiled. 'No, I can't see Catherine working for her keep,' she said.
'I'll
have house servants, and grooms for the stables, and Catherine will
keep her
ladies and David will stay with us, of course. But the soldiers can go,
and the
smith, and the master of horse, and the bakery and the alehouse. We can
brew
our own ale and bake our own bread, but we do not have to feed the
whole castle
any more.'
Alys
nodded. 'Your new house will be just for you,' she said. 'Just for you
and the
people you choose to have by you.'
Hugo
nodded. 'I'll get rid of the hangers-on who do nothing for their keep
but idle
and eat,' he said.
Alys
laughed, a little ripple of laughter. 'You will be rid of the ladies'
gallery
then!' she exclaimed. 'For more idleness and eating goes on there than
anywhere
else in the castle!'
Hugo
grinned. 'I will see if Catherine can make do with fewer ladies,' he
said. 'But
I would not wish to deprive her of companions.'
Alys
shrugged. 'She takes little pleasure in anything these days,' she said.
'All
she does is lie abed and sigh and eat. She has not sewn in the gallery
for
days. She only gets up to have dinner with you. You do not know, Hugo,
how idle
she has become.'
Hugo
frowned. 'It cannot be good for the child,' he said.
Alys
shook her head. 'I have begged and begged her to make an effort and get
out of
bed and walk a little, even if it is only in the gallery. The weather
is
growing more fair, she could sit in the garden and take the air. But
she will
not. She feels tired all the time and she weeps for Morach and for her
parents.
You will have to be patient with her, Hugo. She is old to conceive a
first
child and she was barren for many years. Her body is not young and
lithe and
strong. And her humour is melancholy.' There was a little silence for a
few moments.
'Shall we canter?' Hugo asked abruptly. 'You can manage Catherine's
horse, can
you?'
Alys
laughed. 'I feel as if she were my own horse,' she said. 'Of course we
can
canter. Have I not told you that I fear nothing when we are together?'
Hugo
smiled back at her. 'Well, I fear enough to want to keep you safe when
you are
carrying my son,' he said. Alys shook her head. 'He is safe inside me,'
she
said.
'And I
never felt better or happier in my life. With your love I have
everything I
ever wanted. I can canter! I feel as if I could fly!'
Hugo
laughed and touched his hunter slightly with his heels. At once the big
horse
surged forwards. Alys' mare followed quickly, her stride rapid. Alys
bounced in
the saddle, clinging to the pommel, praying that Hugo would not look
back and
see her white-faced and afraid.
He did
not. They rode for some minutes along the track, the servants cantering
along
behind them. Then Hugo pulled up the roan and the mare stopped
abruptly,
throwing Alys forward on to the neck. She held on by a firm grip on the
saddle,
and heaved herself back into place.
'Here,'
he said. 'Here will be the gates. I shall build a great wall all around
this
area and leave the land inside as it is: trees and shrubs and grass. I
shall
have deer roaming inside the wall, maybe even some boar for me to hunt.
I shall
have a cottage here at the gates and a gatekeeper. No guardroom, no
soldiers.
And then from here I shall make a track to the front door.' He pointed
ahead of
them. Alys could see about twenty men digging and carrying. 'Is it to
be of
brick or stone?' Alys asked. 'The main pillars of the house are stone,
but it
will be faced with brick,' Hugo said proudly. 'It's a pretty brick, a
warm
colour. It looks well against the stone. They are making the bricks and
firing
them here.' 'And the stone?' Alys asked idly, looking around. 'From the
nunnery,' Hugo said. 'I had them bring the stones up here. Some of them
are
handsomely carved. I shall use the slates from their roof as well, and
some of
their beams that were not burned. Shall you laugh, Alys, to be my whore
under a
nun's roof?
Alys
felt her skin grow cold. She turned away. 'And not far from the river!'
she
said. Her voice was strained but Hugo was unaware.
'I may
divert it and dam it and make some little lakes,' he said. 'For fish
and for
pleasure. I love the sound of water. It's the only thing I will miss
when we
leave the castle, the sound of water.'
Alys
nodded. 'And you must plant pretty gardens,' she said. 'I shall
supervise a herb
garden, a proper knot garden, an orchard and an aviary!'
Hugo
laughed. 'Yes, you shall,' he said. 'And a still-room,' Alys said. In
her mind
she could smell the clean, light smell of the still-room at the
nunnery. 'We
shall have a physic garden, a herb garden, and a still-room where I
shall make
medicines for you and me and our family.'
'You
can have some of the gear from the nuns,' Hugo said. 'A lot of it was
brought
away safe. Pestles and mortars and measuring bowls and the like. Some
good
glass bottles, too, with golden labels.'
Alys
felt her mouth grow dry. Then she nodded, shook her head back and
laughed, a
high reckless laugh. 'Yes,' she said. 'Why not! Everything that the
nuns had
and that you took from them we can use. Why should it go to waste? Why
should
anything be spoiled? Let us take and take anything we need until we
have the
house just as we want it!'
Hugo
jumped down from his horse and held out his arms to her. Alys slid off
her
horse down to him and leaned against him as he held her close. 'I love
you,
Alys,' he said. ‘I love your hunger for life. You would rob an old nun
of her
very shift, wouldn't you - if you had need of it?' Alys looked up into
his dark
smiling face. 'I would,' she said. She felt at once a fierce,
destructive joy.
'I have no patience with nuns, always confessing and forbearing, and
avoiding
sin. I want to live now. I want to have my joys now and my pleasures.
If I am a
damned sinner then at least I shall go to my punishment with the taste
of
everything I wanted still warm on my tongue.'
Hugo
laughed with her. 'You must make some magic here,' he urged. 'When the
workmen
leave one evening we will come and you can summon your wild sisters and
we can
lie on the half-built walls and on the ground together and we can claim
the
very stones and the slates back from the nuns and dedicate the house to
ourselves and to our pleasure!'
'Oh
yes!' Alys said hollowly. 'Yes.'
'I
want
a green gown,' Alys said idly. She and Hugo were sprawled on the high
bed in
her room. There were new hangings on the wall to match the new curtains
on the
bed. A fire burned in the grate with sweet-smelling pine cones and a
pinch of
incense. Outside the summer sky was striped with gold as the sun slowly
set. 'I
want a green silk gown for summer.'
Hugo
lifted a hank of Alys' golden-brown hair. 'You're an expensive wench,'
he said
idly. 'I have given you yards and yards of cloth for one gown after
another.
Anyway, you have no right to wear silk.'
Alys
chuckled, a low, lazy laugh. 'You can give it to me as a portent,' she
said.
'Your father has promised me land and money when our son is born. Then
I will
be a freeholder.'
'Has
he?' Hugo looked surprised, 'You have him under your thumb, my little
witch,
don't you? I've never known him give land away before. Not even Meg,
his
favourite whore, had land from him! He has you very close to his heart,
doesn't
he?'
Alys
looked smugly at him. 'He loves me as if I were his daughter,' she said
with
quiet pleasure. 'And he wants me to go out with him when you cut the
last of
the hay. And I want a new green gown. A trader showed it to me
yesterday. It's
pure silk, it will cost a fortune. He brought it to show Catherine but
she
would not fit a wagon-cover. He showed it to me instead and I long for
it,
Hugo!'
Hugo
chuckled. 'Persistent wench! You have as many gowns as Catherine -I
swear it.'
Alys
sighed and dropped a kiss on his bare shoulder as he lay naked and at
peace on
her bed, his long limbs gilded with the sunlight from the arrow-slit.
'No,' she
said. 'Catherine has more gowns than me. She has all the gowns from her
mother's chests. And you have bought her more gowns than you have ever
bought
for me.'
Hugo
shook his head. 'Damned if I can think when,' he said. 'No more than
one a year
for all the years we have been married. But you, Alys! You want a gown
a week!'
Alys
smiled. 'Why should I not have as many gowns as Catherine?' she asked.
'You
would rather see me in a new gown than her, wouldn't you? And you would
rather
strip me, than her, wouldn't you?'
Hugo
shrugged. 'How many does she have?' he asked in mock weariness.
'Twelve,' Alys
said.
Hugo
rolled over on to his belly. Alys saw that his eyes were bright and he
was
laughing. 'And how many do you have, my little witch?' he asked.
'Eleven!'
Alys said triumphantly. 'And now I want a green gown!' 'Then will you
be
satisfied?' Hugo demanded. Alys sat up, threw back her hair and swarmed
up
along his body so she was lying along his back. She pressed her hips
forward
slightly, pushing against Hugo's warm, naked buttocks.
'Do
you
want me satisfied? Satisfied and plump? Plump and tired? Boring?' she
asked.
She thrust a little harder with each word. Hugo groaned and closed his
eyes.
'Witch,'
he said under his breath. 'You would make a dead man feel desire.'
Alys
laughed and put her arms around his waist. Her hand slid between his
belly and
the rumpled sheets of her bed. She found his penis and held him, hard.
Hugo
groaned and tried to turn over.
'No,'
Alys said, whispering into his ear. 'I have you in my power, Hugo. I
will have
you like this!'
Hugo
struggled for only a moment and then as Alys' hand insistently pressed
him he
plunged his face and his body deeper into the bed and felt her push and
push
him from behind, her hand working, until with a slow groan he lay
still. Alys
laid her cheek against his sweating shoulder blade, and rested, lying
like a
long, naked snake along his back.
Hugo
shook his head like a man waking from a powerful dream and rolled over.
'Alys,
my love,' he said. She smiled at him. 'The green gown,' she stipulated.
'And
ribbons and gloves to match.'
He
took
her in his arms. 'A thousand gowns,' he said, kissing her neck, the
hollow of
her collar bone and the rumpled mass of her hair. 'A thousand gowns of
green,
of silver, of royal purple or gold. Whatever you wish.'
Alys
lay back and shut her eyes. Hugo kissed her breasts and then nuzzled
her belly.
'You're very thin still,' he said thoughtfully. Alys' eyes opened, she
smiled
at him. ‘I wondered when you would notice,' she said.
He sat
up. 'Notice what?' he asked. 'What should I notice?'
Alys
stretched like a cat. 'Why, that Catherine's baby makes her fatter and
lazier
every day and that my baby has left me as slim as a virgin.'
Hugo
shrugged. 'I thought only that different women took their pregnancy in
different ways. But what of it, Alys?'
'I
lied
to you,' Alys said coolly. 'I lied to you and to Lord Hugh. I said I
was
pregnant when I was not.'
Hugo
choked. 'You did what!' he exclaimed.
'I
lied,' Alys said again simply.
Hugo
put his hand out and turned Alys' face towards him. The lines at the
roots of
his eyebrows were growing deep, his mouth was grim. 'You said that you
were
carrying my son and you lied to me and to my father?'
Alys
nodded fearlessly.
Hugo
pushed her away from him and got up from the bed. He flung his jacket
around
his shoulders and stared out of the arrow-slit at the river and the
green hills
behind.
'Why?'
he demanded, without turning around.
Alys
shrugged. 'Morach had just died,' she said. 'I was afraid you might
blame me,
too, and have me sent away. Catherine hated me when she first met me,
if she
knew we were lovers she would have turned against me again. Your father
cares for
nothing as much as a son to come after you. I needed something to keep
me here
safe.'
Hugo
turned back to see her. 'You are a schemer,' he said with dislike. 'You
have
tried to entrap me.'
Alys
sat up, threw her shift over her head and slipped from the bed, tying
the
strings of the white linen gown at her shoulders as she walked towards
him.
'You entrapped yourself,' she said. 'Your desire for me has trapped you
in a
way that no lie could ever do.'
Hugo
reached out his hand and touched the base of her neck. Her pulse beat
steadily,
unhurried by any alarm, under his finger.
'You
are not carrying my child,' he said, showing his disappointment. Alys
smiled at
him. 'I was not carrying him when I first said,' she said. Her blue
eyes
twinkled. 'But I am a liar no more! I am with child now, as I foretold.
I
missed my term this month and soon I shall be as fat as you could
desire.'
Hugo's face warmed, the deep frown lifted. 'Our son will be born in
April,'
Alys said with unshaken confidence. 'I am glad it is this way, Hugo.
The first
time we were lovers it was not good. You had lain with Catherine and
you went
back to her bed. Our son could only be conceived when you lay with me
heart and
soul. And I only want a son conceived in my passion.'
Hugo
drew
her to him. 'And you think it is a son?' he asked.
Alys
nodded. 'I know it is a son,' she said. 'He will be born when the
strongest
Iambs are born, when the weather is good. He will be born in your grand
new
house if you make haste and build me a beautiful chamber with wood
panelling
and big bright windows. Build me a room which overlooks the river where
I can
have sunshine all day, and I will give you a son that will be the best
of both
of us. Your courage and my skills. Think of a lord who could play with
magic,
Hugo! He could rise and rise until he was the greatest lord in all the
land.'
He
tightened his grip on her. 'What a boy he would be!' he said.
Alys
smiled up at him. 'How high he could go!' she said. 'And the daughter
who will
come next - think who her husband could be, Hugo! How high our family
could
rise with our noble, magical children!'
They
were silent for a moment. Alys could see the ambition in Hugo's face.
He and
his father had craved sons, but this reign had taught men the value of
pretty
women as pawns in the power game.
Hugo
checked himself and returned to the present. 'Never lie to me again,'
he said.
'I shall feel a fool telling my father and everyone around the castle
will
know. I don't like to be teased by you, Alys. Don't lie to me again.'
Alys
chuckled idly. 'I promise,' she said easily. 'I needed to lie then, but
I will
never need to lie again. I am safe now. I am safe enough in your love,
am I
not? There is nothing I could do to lose your love, is that not so,
Hugo?'
He
closed his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. 'That is
so,' he
said. 'There is nothing you could do which would lose my love.'
'And I
am your father's best companion and most trusted friend,' Alys said
contentedly. 'And now I am carrying his grandson. There is nothing
which can
threaten me now.'
Hugo
rocked her gently, feeling her lightness, his tenderness and desire
rising
again.
'Nothing
can threaten you,' he said gently. 'I am here.'
Alys
put her arms around him and held him close. The breeze through the
window
smelled of hay and meadow flowers. She closed her eyes and smiled. 'I
am safe
now,' she said.
'But
don't lie to me,' Hugo said with residual resentment. 'I hate women who
lie.'
Next
day was the last day of haymaking and Alys and Hugo rode out to watch
them
making hay in the high meadows between the moorland and the river. Half
of the
castle went with them, the cooks and serving-maids and lads, the
soldiers,
their women, the young pages and girls who worked at sewing or baking
or
brewing or spinning. Even the old lord came out for the day, riding a
stocky
old war-horse, with David, very smart in a dark velvet suit, riding
beside him.
A hundred people took a holiday from the castle, walking in a laughing,
singing
crowd across the stone bridge at the foot of the castle to the fields
on the
far side, and before them all rode Hugo and Alys on her new roan pony,
wearing
her new green gown.
She
wore her hair brushed loose, tumbling over her shoulders and down her
back,
trimmed with ribbons of green and gilt, in defiance of the fashion of
the new
modest Queen. The silver gilt glinted like real silver in the sunlight
and the
green ribbons flickered around her head. She wore light leather gloves
for
riding trimmed with green ribbons, and new tan leather boots. The roan
mare
which Hugo had bought cheap at the Appleby sales was quiet and Alys
rode
confidently, with her head up, smiling around her as if she owned the
fertile
fields and the singing people. When Hugo leaned over and spoke softly
to her
she laughed aloud as if to tell everyone that the young lord shared his
secrets
with her alone.
Catherine
had stayed behind with Ruth and Margery, a handful of servants, a
couple of
cooks and the soldiers on guard. 'She doesn't want to come,' Alys had
told
Hugo. 'She is too tired she says, she is always too tired for anything.
It will
be better without her.'
Hugo
did not hide his concern. 'She has three months before the child is
born,' he
said. 'If she takes to her bed now, what will she be like by October?'
Alys
had giggled. 'She will be a haystack,' she said unkindly. 'Have done,
Hugo! She
is tired, she wants to rest; you cannot force her to come. Sit with her
in the
evening when we come home and tell her all about it. It is no kindness
to her
to drag her out of her chamber and into the hot sunshine when she is so
gross
and weary.'
It was
the last hayfield to be cut of the demesne and Hugo was to cut the last
swathe.
They had left a narrow strip of pale green grass standing, ready for
Hugo to
come and scythe it down. The party from the castle scattered around the
edges
of the field, the serving-girls and lads started spreading cloths and
unpacking
big jugs of ale and unwrapping loaves of bread and meat. Half a dozen
musicians
stood in one corner of the field, tuning their instruments for the
dance,
making a clamour like howling cats. The labouring men and their women
had been
waiting in the hot sunshine since before noon. They had cut down
branches and
bent them into an arbour and placed a seat inside for the old lord. He
was
helped down from his horse and went to sit in the shade while David
scuttled
around the field, missing nothing, ordering everything for the feast.
They
had a scythe ready sharpened for Hugo, and the bailiff who had ordered
and
overseen the haymaking was * dressed in his best, his wife beside him,
ready to
hand the scythe to the young lord. Hugo jumped down from the saddle and
threw
his reins to a page-boy. Then he turned and helped Alys down. Hand in
hand they
went towards the farmer and his wife; Alys kicked at the long piles of
cut
grass, sniffing at the sweet, heady smell of the meadow flowers and the
new-mown hay. Her new green gown rustled pleasantly over the stubble.
Alys
raised her head to the sunshine and strode out as if she owned the
field.
'Samuel
Norton!' Hugo said pleasantly as they drew close. The bailiff pulled
off his
hat and bowed low. His wife dropped down in a weighty curtsey. When she
came up
her face was white, she did not look at Alys.
'A
good
crop of hay!' Hugo said pleasantly. 'A grand hay crop this year. You
will keep
my horses in good heart for many winter nights, Norton!'
The
man
mumbled something. Alys stepped forward to hear what he was saying. As
she did
so the woman flinched backwards in an involuntary, unstoppable movement.
Alys
checked herself. 'What's the matter?' she asked the woman directly.
The
farmer flushed and blustered. 'My wife's not well,' he said. 'She would
insist
on coming. She wanted to see you, my lord, and the Lady Cath ...' he
broke off.
'She's not well,' he said feebly.
The
woman curtsied again and started to step backwards, her Sunday-best
gown
brushing the cut hay, picking up seed heads.
'What's
this?' Hugo asked carelessly. 'You ill, Good-wife Norton?'
The
woman was white-faced, she opened her mouth to reply but she could not
speak.
She looked from her husband to Hugo. She never once glanced at Alys.
'Forgive
her,' Farmer Norton said hurriedly. 'She's ill you know, women's time,
women's
fancies. All madness in the blood. You know how women are, my lord. And
she
wanted to see the Lady Catherine. We did not expect...'
Hugo's
bright cheerfulness was dimming rapidly. 'Did not expect what?' he
demanded
ominously.
'Nothing,
nothing, my lord,' Farmer Norton said anxiously. 'We mean no offence.
My wife
has a present for the Lady Catherine - some lucky charm or women's
nonsense.
She hoped to see her, to give it to her. Nothing more.' ‘I will give it
to
her,' Alys said, her voice very clear.
She
stepped forward, the folds of the green silk shimmering around her. She
held
out her hand. 'Give me your gift to Lady Catherine and I will give it
to her. I
am her closest friend.'
Goodwife
Norton clenched the little purse she wore at her waist. 'No!' she said
with
sudden energy. ‘I’ll bring it up to the castle myself. It's a relic, a
girdle,
blessed by St Margaret to aid a woman in childbirth, and a prayer to St
Felicitas to ensure the child is male. It has stood me in good stead,
half a
dozen times. Lady Catherine shall have it. You shall have it, my Lord
Hugo, for
your son! I will bring it up to the castle and I will put it in her
hands.'
'Give
it to me!' Alys said, her anger rising. 'I shall give it to her with
your
compliments.'
She
reached out towards the woman and Goodwife Norton flinched backwards as
if from
a dangerous animal.
From
the waiting men and women all around the field there was a hiss, like a
cat as
it senses danger.
'Not
into your hands!' The woman suddenly found her voice, sharp and shrill.
'Into
any hands in the world but yours! It's a holy relic saved from the
nunnery. The
holy women kept it safe for the good of wives, married women! For women
carrying their husbands' children in matrimony. For childbirth in the
marriage
bed. It's not for the likes of you!'
'How
dare you sneer at me!' Alys said breathlessly. She reached again for
the little
bag in Goodwife Norton's hand.
Now
she
could see it more clearly. It was a little velvet purse, rubbed smooth
in the
middle by the kisses of women praying for an easy childbirth. She
remembered it
from the nunnery. It had been kept in a golden casket near the altar
and when a
woman big with child came into the chapel she could whisper to one of
the nuns
that she wanted to kiss it. No one, however poor, however needy, was
refused.
Alys found she was staring at the gold stitching on the purse. She
remembered
the Mother Abbess herself had stitched it. My mother,' Alys thought.
The sudden
sharp pain made her angry.
'You're
nothing better than a thief yourself!' Alys said. 'That belongs in the
nunnery,
not hawked around a hayfield. Give it to me!'
'Witch!'
Goodwife Norton spat. She leaped back so Alys could not reach her and
then she
said the word again - 'Witch!' She spoke under her breath but it was as
loud
and clear as if she had screamed it. The whole haymaking gang froze
into
silence.
Alys
felt the world grow still around her as if she were a painted piece of
glass on
a fragile leaded window. Nothing would move, nothing would make a
sound.
Goodwife Norton should not have said that word and she should not have
heard
it. The haymakers, the village people, the townspeople, and the people
from the
castle should not have that word in their minds. It should not have
been said.
Alys did not know what to say or do to take the sudden danger out of
the
innocent morning. Hugo stepped forward. 'Norton?' he prompted softly.
The
bailiff said briskly, 'I beg your pardon, Lord,' and seized his wife by
the
elbow and marched her rapidly across the field. At the first woman he
stopped
and thrust his wife towards her with a rattle of low-voiced orders. The
two of
them bent their heads and scuttled from the
field like rats fearing the scythe.
Farmer Norton strode back, his red face furious.
'Damned
scolds,' he said, as one man to another. Hugo was
unsmiling.
'You should
have a care, Farmer Norton,' he said. 'A wife with a tongue as loose as
that
will find herself charged with slander. These are serious accusations
to fling around.
A noble lady should not have to listen to such.'
The
man
said nothing. He looked stubborn.
'I do
not think you have been presented to Mistress Alys,' Hugo said
smoothly. 'She
is a dear friend of my wife, she is my father's clerk. She is my chosen
companion today. I will lead the dancing with her.'
Norton
flushed a deep brick-red of shame. Alys glared at him, her eyes blazing
blue
with her challenge. He dropped his head in a deep bow.
Alys
waited. Then she held out her hand.
He
took
it reluctantly and kissed the air just above her skin. She felt his
hard,
callused hand tremble underneath her touch.
He
straightened up. 'We've met before,' he said bravely. 'I knew your
mother, the
Widow Morach. I knew you when you were a child, playing in the dirt of
the
lane.'
Alys
gave him a cold, level stare. 'Then you know she was not my mother,'
Alys said.
'My real mother was a lady. She died in a fire. Morach was a wet nurse
to me, a
foster-mother. Now she is dead and I am back where I belong. In the
castle.'
She
turned to Hugo. 'I shall sit with Lord Hugh,' she said pleasantly, 'in
the
shade, while you cut your swathe of hay. Bring me a handful of hay and
flowers!'
She
spoke clearly enough for all to hear her ordering the young lord as a
mistress
orders her lover; and then she turned on her heel and walked across the
soft
stubble of the hayfield to where the old lord sat in the shade. It was
a long,
long walk with the eyes of the haymakers and the castle people on her
every
step. The new gown swept the hay around her. Green, the colour of
spring, of
growth .. . and of witchcraft. Alys, wishing that she had worn a gown
of
another colour, kept her head up and smiled around at everyone.
Wherever her
gaze fell people turned away their heads, shuffled their feet. She
walked
across the field like a new, dangerous dog walking through a flock of
sheep.
People shifted like wary old yows to keep their distance.
But
they whispered. Alys could hear the soft susurration of dislike, as
quiet as
the wind shifting in the uncut hay. 'Where is Lady Catherine?' someone
called
from the back, louder than any other. 'Where is Hugo's wife? We want
the lady
to come from the castle for haymaking, not the castle slut!'
Alys
kept her head high, her eyes steadily flicking around the watching
field, the
smile unwavering on her mouth. Never could she catch someone speaking.
Always
their faces were blank and fearful. There was no one she could name as
her
slanderer. However quickly her gaze went from one stubborn face to
another the
whisper preceded her. Underneath her arms she could feel the gown
growing damp.
She nearly stumbled as she reached the bower like a criminal running to
sanctuary. Then she checked. There was no chair for her. David and the
old lord
were sitting down.
'I
will
trouble you for your chair, David,' she said bluntly. 'It was hot in
the
sunshine and I wish to sit.'
For a
moment, for half a moment only, it seemed as if he would refuse her.
'Let
the wench sit,' the old lord said irritably. 'She's carrying my
grandson in her
belly.'
David
rose reluctantly and went to stand behind the old lord's chair.
'What
was all that about?' the old lord asked.
Alys
sat still, her hands quietly in her lap, her face composed. 'Country
gossip,'
she said. 'They envy me, those who knew Morach and the nasty little
cottage.
They cannot understand how I should move from there to here. They make
up
fancies of witchcraft and then they frighten nobody but themselves.
That fat
old shrew, Goodwife Norton, has taken it into her thick head that I
have
bewitched the young lord and supplanted Catherine. She sought to insult
me.'
The
old
lord nodded. Out in the field Hugo had stripped off his thick, costly
jacket. A
pretty girl with brilliant golden hair had stepped forward and was
holding it
for him. As they watched she held it to her cheek. They heard Hugo's
flattered
laugh. Farmer Norton handed him a scythe. Hugo rolled up his white
linen
sleeves, spat on both palms, and took it in a firm grip. There was a
ragged
cheer from the crowd. Hugo was popular this year, with high wages for
the
labourers at his new house and his wife pregnant.
'Strange
how the word "witch" follows you,' the old lord said. He was watching
Hugo scything down the grass. The young girl carrying his jacket and
Farmer
Norton and the other haymakers walked slowly behind him, laughing. The
mood had
lightened. The musicians had started playing a ragged tune with a
thumping
beat, a lad was singing. Alys said nothing.
'It's
a
bad word to have hung around your neck,' the old lord said neutrally.
'It looks
bad. For you - but not only for you. For me and Hugo also.' 'It's
gossip and
nonsense,' Alys said shortly. 'Perhaps they heard of the ordeal?' David
suggested helpfully. 'Or of Alys' dream of her and Hugo? Or maybe they
suspect
her learning - unusual in a girl from a country hovel? Or the sudden
drowning
of old Morach? I heard a rumour that she was a witch and drowned while
running
away.'
The
sun
on the field was very hot, but Alys in the underwater green of the
arbour
shivered as if she were cold.
'I am
carrying Hugo's son,' she said steadily. 'I am the second woman he has
ever got
with child in all his life. If anything were to happen to Catherine or
her
child then my baby would be your only grandchild, my lord. I do not
think it
befits us to gossip like common people about witchery and sorcery and
nonsense.
Hugo and I are lovers, and I am the mother of his child. If an old fool
like
Good wife Norton wishes to make a scene and spoil a day why should we
have our
peace disturbed?'
The
old
lord nodded. 'No wonder it is to be a long pregnancy, Alys, since this
baby
protects you from all ills. Thirteen months by my reckoning?'
Alys
smiled. 'He has told you then,' she said easily. ‘I have begged his
pardon for
my mistake. It was a natural mistake. I wanted Hugo's child so much
that I
mistook the signs. But I am sure now. You will see me growing soon. But
never
growing, I hope, as big as the Lady Catherine!'
The
old
lord chuckled. 'Vixen,' he said without heat. 'Don't scratch at her.
There can
never be too many sons. There is room for you both.'
Hugo
had reached the end of the line. He stooped and picked up a bunch of
the grass
and the spindly sweet-smelling flowers. The blonde girl ran forward
with his
jacket and held it out for him to slip it on. As he put it on he turned
around
and put his arm around her shoulders, kissed her heartily on both
cheeks, and
tucked the flowers into the neck of her gown. The girl leaned back
against his
arm and smiled at him. She was young and bright, dressed in her best
gown of
bright blue, cut very low and square across her creamy, plump breasts.
'Looks
as is you have lost your flowers, Mistress Alys,' David observed.
Alys
stood up and smiled at him. "Then I shall make Hugo pick me some more,'
she said recklessly.
She
turned her back on both of them and walked out into the bright
sunlight,
smiling. All around her people were spreading white cloths on the newly
cut
grass, the scything gang were raking the hay into long rows to dry in
the wind
and the sun. Jars of ale were opened and earthenware mugs thrust
forward for
filling. Alys walked towards Hugo across the field with her flat belly
thrust
forward to make it look bigger, smiling, gambling on her power. And as
she came
close, the girl with the flowers stuffed in the bodice of her gown
twisted out
of Hugo's careless grip and fell back to avoid Alys' glance, and then
slipped
away. 'Alys,' Hugo said grimly.
'You
have thrown away my flowers,' Alys said. The smile was still on her
face.
Hugo
bent to the heap of hay at his feet and picked up a swatch of grass
mixed with
flowers. 'Here,' he
said ungraciously.
'Take these, I am going to open the dancing.' 'With me?' Alys asked.
Hugo's
face was grim. 'Since you have started a storm which I shall have to
calm, I
shall dance first with you and then with every wench in this field,
until they
are all content.'
Alys'
smile never wavered. She took Hugo's outstretched arm and together they
walked
towards the musicians. Other couples fell into place behind them. But
they
moved quietly, as if they were bound to dance and too obedient to
refuse.
Alys
stepped back and faced Hugo, waited for the music to begin, and froze.
Behind
Hugo's shoulder was a face she knew.
It was
Tom, and a hard-faced woman hanging on his arm beside him.
Alys'
face never flickered. Her eyes went past him without a glimmer of
recognition,
her clear bright smile impartial, unchanging - Tom brushed his wife
Liza off
his arm and came towards the dancers. Alys' face was a lighthearted
mask, her
head on one side, listening to the music, her foot tapping to the beat.
Tom,
unbidden, walked unstoppably forward. 'Alys!' he said.
Hugo
spun round. Tom was standing immediately behind him, but he did not
even look
at the lord, did not uncover his head. He ignored him as if he were a
post in
the hayfield. All he could see was Alys in her new green gown, her
green and
gilt ribbons plaited into her golden-brown hair, heartbreakingly
lovely.
'Alys,' he said again.
Alys
looked at him as if noticing him for the first lime. She put her head
on one
side as if she were viewing some strange specimen. 'Yes?' she said
interrogatively.
Tom
gulped. 'I will take you away,' he said, in a sudden awkward rush of
speech. ‘I
will take you, Alys. I will take you away. I've heard what they said of
you ...
It's not safe for you here. I will take you now.'
Alys
threw back her head and laughed. A clear brittle sound like breaking
glass. She
tossed her head and smiled at Hugo.
'Who
is
this?' she asked. 'Is he simple? Does he mistake me for someone?'
Tom
blenched as if she had struck him. 'Alys!' he said in a hoarse whisper.
Hugo
tapped him on the shoulder, his face grim. 'You interrupt the dancing,'
he
said. 'Go your ways.'
Tom
seemed not to feel the touch, he did not hear his lord. He did not take
Hugo's
warning. His eyes were fixed on Alys' bright, unconcerned face.
‘I
want
to save you, Alys!' he said desperately. 'They have called you a witch
- you
are in danger. I'll take you - I'll take you away, cost me what it
will!'
Liza
behind him said, 'Tom!' in a hard, sharp command.
'Who
is
this?' Hugo asked her. 'Some friend of yours?'
Alys
turned her bright clear gaze on him. ‘I don't know,' she said,
detached. ‘I
don't know him.'
‘I
will
take you,' Tom said again. 'I won't fail you. I will leave my farm and
my wife,
even my little children. I will save you, Alys. You need not stay in
the castle
with those people and their vices. I will take you away. I have some
money
saved. We will find a little farm somewhere and I will keep you safe.
You will
be as my wife, Alys! I will be true to you and guard you with my life!'
He
broke off. 'You will be a virtuous woman again, Alys,' he said softly.
'You
were a good girl, I loved you then. You are a good girl still. You will
be my
little sweetheart once more.'
She
stared at Tom in open amazement and her gaze never wavered. She looked
straight
through him, as if he were a man of straw, a man of water, as if he
were not
even there. The smile lilting on her lips never even flickered.
'You're
babbling, good man,' she said coolly. 'I know you not.'
'Alys!'
Tom exclaimed, and then he stopped short. He could not believe that his
playmate, his childhood love, should look through him as if he were
clear
glass. As if he were nothing to her. As if he had never been anything
to her.
He stared at her for one long moment, and her face never altered, never
changed
from bright-eyed indifference.
Then
he
spun on his heel and tore away from her, tore away from her empty,
smiling
face, through the crowd, vaulting the gate at the corner of the field
and
plunging out of sight.
Alys
laughed again, a merry, carefree laugh, and waved at the musicians who
had lost
the beat and were falling into silence.
"Why
do we wait? Let's dance!' she cried gaily. 'Let's dance!'
Catherine
was sleeping when they came home. Alys and Hugo went quietly past her
closed
door to Alys' bedroom and told Eliza to call them as soon as Catherine
awoke.
Hugo strode over to the arrow-slit and looked out. Alys took the
ribbons from
her hair and pulled down her gown to show her warm creamy shoulders.
'My lord?'
she said softly.
Hugo
glanced around. 'Not now,' he said coldly. 'Who was that lad in the
field?'
Alys ignored his rejection. 'No one I know,' she said. 'The maid I
danced with,
the little blonde one, said he was an old lover of yours. His wife
speaks
against you. Says you have stolen his peace, says you hexed him into
loving you
and he can neither sleep, nor eat, nor love her.'
Alys
laughed. 'Not I,' she said. 'But from what you say I guess it must have
been
Tom of Reedale. We were playmates when we were children, I've not seen
him in
ten years. He married a shrew. She'd blame anyone for the dryness of
her
marriage. It can't be laid at my door.' 'It looked bad,' Hugo said.
Alys
shrugged, tossing her hair back off her shoulders. Hugo turned away
from her,
looking out of the arrow-slit window again. Alys hesitated. She stepped
forward
and put her arms around his waist, pressed against his back. 'Tonight,'
she
said softly, 'tonight, Hugo, I will summon my sisters to be with us. My
sisters
and I will play together tonight. I will summon them and they will
spread their
smooth bodies over me and lie down on me and give me endless, endless
pleasure.' She felt his arousal in the tension of his shoulders, but he
did not
turn round.
'And
what for you?' Alys asked coquettishly. 'No, nothing for you! Not a
touch, not a
kiss, Hugo! You will lie as if you are enchained, and you will watch
while they
bury themselves - fingers, lips, tongues - in me. And you will watch my
body
writhe under their caresses, and you will hear me cry out with
pleasure.'
Hugo
sighed with desire, leaning his head forward so it was touching the
cool stone
of the lintel.
'I
will
let them bind me,' Alys said thoughtfully. 'You will see me on a rack
of their
pleasure. You will see me strain and pull against their silken knots as
they
penetrate me and pleasure me and make me cry for release." Hugo turned
around in her arms and pressed her close to him, nuzzling her naked
shoulders,
inhaling the scents of her skin and hair; but his face was still sombre.
That
was an ugly scene in the field,' he said. 'You must be more careful.'
Alys
pulled away from him, irritated. 'There's nothing I can do to prevent
gossip,'
she said. 'People will become accustomed to the change. When they see
the son
we have, when they grow used to me being always at your side, when they
know
that I am always here - the lady of the castle in everything but name.'
Hugo
shook his head, unconvinced. 'I want Catherine to take her supper in
the hall
tonight,' he said. 'There's been too much gossip. There's been too much
ugly talk
about witchcraft and Catherine being set aside.'
Alys
shrugged and smiled up at him. 'I don't care what they say,' she said
confidently. 'I know that I am carrying your child and that I am well
and
strong.
People
can say what they like, they can think what they like. It does not
matter what
they say. You will protect me, your father will protect me. Old women
gossiping
in chimney corners cannot hurt me.'
Hugo
shook his head. 'It hurts us all,' he said bluntly. 'You're a fool if
you think
yourself safe, Alys. Every word said against me, every whisper against
my name,
is a threat to the peace of the country. These are times when people
will make
a mob over anything. These are times when people are anxious about
witchcraft,
fearful. 'There are vagrants everywhere thrown on to the roads by the
closing
of the monasteries, stirring up anger about the loss of sanctuary.
There are
changes that no one could have foretold. The little monasteries and
nunneries
are going and there is anger among the people - they cling to the old
religion,
they cling to the old superstitions.
'I
don't like to be gossiped about. I like to ride out and see smiles. I
like a
little honour done my name. I like a pretty wench to curtsey to me and
not to
fly away the moment you come near for fear your shadow falls on her.
You did
badly at the field today, Alys. You were named as a witch before many
people
and you did not deny it.'
'And
what about you?' Alys demanded, her anger mounting. 'What about you who
are
desperate for my witchcraft, who beg me to work magic on you? You have
bidden
me to call my sisters to your new house -to christen it backwards! You,
who
want me to spread my magic all around your new house, to destroy the
holiness
of the stolen stones. You want all the pleasures and none of the pains,
Hugo!
You want bedroom witchcraft and daylight sainthood. You can't be a
person out
of the ordinary, out of the crowd, and then expect them to call down
blessings
on your name when you ride by on your big horse.'
Hugo
shook
his head. 'You don't understand,' he said again. 'For all your
learning, you
are a foolish slut in this. Why d'you think it is death to speak
against the
King? Not because he is not safe on his throne! Not because he lacks
soldiers!
But because danger lies in gossip and rumour. Treason starts with
whispers. And
they are whispering about you.''
Alys
walked away from him, to the chest for her clothes, and took out her
comb.
'They always talk of the special ones,' she said in a low angry voice.
‘I have been
special all my life. I have been the favourite for all my life. People
have
always envied me and wondered what powers I have. I will ride it out. I
am the
favourite in the castle, I am like a daughter to your father. I am your
lady.'
Hugo said nothing, but he shook his head. Alys pulled up a stool to the
fireside and half turned her head from him. She ran her fingers through
the
thick tresses of her hair to free them from the curls of the plaits,
and then
started to comb it over and over, until the comb was running smoothly.
Hugo,
still angry, found himself watching the hypnotic strokes of the comb
sliding
through the silky golden mass of thick hair. Alys sat on her stool
before the
empty fireplace and closed her eyes and hummed a song softly in the
back of her
throat. Hugo leaned back against the wall, arms folded, and watched
her, his
face impassive. Alys, acutely aware of him even though her eyes were
shut,
thought that in a few moments she would give him some wine with a pinch
of
earthroot. It had been some days since Hugo had been drugged into
madness and
desire. She felt a need, like a tingle in her fingertips, to pull the
strings
and set Hugo's lust dancing once more. And this time she would make him
crawl
towards her begging for a taste of her. Alys smiled with her eyes still
shut.
Hugo would not call her a slut and a fool without paying for it with
agonizing
desire.
The
knock on the door startled them both from the beginning of Alys'
sensual
spellbinding. It was Eliza Herring.
'Mistress
Alys! Lady Catherine is awake and asking for you.'
Alys
pulled up the shoulders of her gown and shook the creases from the
skirt. She
threw her hair away from her face. 'I'll go and sit with Catherine,'
she said
irritably. ‘I’ll tell her that she must go to the hall for supper. She
exposes
us all to abuse if she will not do her duty.'
She
could read nothing from Hugo's face. 'I don't think it is your place to
instruct the Lady Catherine on her duty,' he said softly. 'You may tell
her
that I request it. Your wishes are of little weight in this matter.'
Alys
hesitated, unbalanced by Hugo's irritability. 'Tonight...' she said.
Hugo
shook his head. 'I will have you tonight, or whenever I choose,' he
said
sharply. 'But it makes no difference to your service to Lady Catherine.
You
should not keep her waiting.'
Alys
shot one level glance at him. Hugo stared back, without fear, without
affection. Alys, her face dark with anger, put down the comb and went
to
Catherine.
She
was
propped up on her fine embroidered pillows. Her face was flushed from
her sleep
and her eyes were red.
'I've
been lonely,' she said without preamble.
'I'm
sorry to hear that,' Alys said, suppressing her irritation. The room
was
stifling. It faced east over the courtyard and grew dark in the
afternoons,
though the summer sky was pale and golden through the window. Catherine
had
ordered the fire to be banked high and hot in the grate; candles burned
on the
table. There was a crowded, sour smell to the room. The strewing herbs
on the
floor were limp and scentless. On the cupboard there was a clutter of
sweetmeat
plates and Catherine's pots of creams, salves and perfumes, a goblet on
its
side, the dregs sticky on the shelf, and an empty pitcher of ale.
'I had
a bad dream,' Catherine said. 'I dreamed that Hugo had left me, gone to
London.
Gone to the King's court.' She gave a little sob. 'Like Father,' she
said.
Alys
sat on the bed, taking Catherine's plump, damp hand. 'Don't grieve,'
she said.
'He has not gone. He is not going anywhere. Think of the baby. It is
bad for
the baby if you cry. Hugo is settled and happy here. He is not planning
to
leave. And anyway, even if he did, Henry is a gentle king. Hugo could
do no
wrong at court.'
Catherine
lay back against the pillows. Her face was flushed, a little trickle of
sweat
ran down between her fat breasts inside her night-gown.
'My
back hurts,' she said pitifully. 'It aches again.'
Alys
concealed her impatience. 'Have you been in bed all day, Catherine?'
she asked.
Catherine
nodded.
'If
you
do not walk around you will get heavy and tired, and of course you will
ache,'
Alys said. 'Let me help you up.'
Catherine
shook her head again. ‘I can't walk around,' she said fretfully, 'I am
lame. My
ankles hurt and my knees.
My legs hurt
all over.
You don't understand, Alys. I am too old and too tired to
carry and bear
this baby. I am not strong.' She gave a little snuffly sob. 'I am not
strong,'
she said again.
Alys
leaned forward and stroked Catherine's forehead, brushing back the
brown hair
which clung in limp tendrils to her face.
'What
about a bath?' Alys suggested. 'I could tell them to bring a hot bath
up for
you, with some herbs in it to make you feel less tired. I could wash
your hair
and you could put on a pretty gown for supper tonight. Wouldn't that
help?'
Catherine
turned her face towards Alys' caressing hand. 'Yes,' she said, like a
child
trying to please. 'All right. Tell them to bring me a bath.'
Alys
sent the serving-maid down with orders to bring the biggest bath-tub
draped
with the finest linen cloth to Lady Catherine's room. Sheets must be
aired to
dry her and wrap her. Alys went to her room to fetch dried flowers and
some
verbena oil to pour into the bath water and to set before the fire to
scent the
room.
Hugo
was dozing on Alys' bed as she came in, his feet up with his dusty
boots on the
cover. He opened one lazy eye when he saw her but did not trouble to
move.
'What are you doing?' he asked. 'Is Catherine well?'
'She's
fretful,' Alys said. 'I thought a bath would soothe her. She's
complaining that
we left her all day alone. She has not dressed. She has not even washed
today.
I will give her a bath and wash her hair and get her dressed for
supper.'
'Good,'
he said. He stretched out and closed his eyes again. The dirt from his
boots
was smeared all over Alys' new counterpane.
She
hesitated for a moment, resentful. Everyone in the castle has their own
way
with their lives but me, she thought. Hugo can rest and dream of the
stupid fair-headed
peasant. Catherine can waddle into a bath. I have to run between the
two. She
nodded without speaking and took the herbs and the oils to Catherine's
bedroom.
Eliza followed her, holding the door.
The
great bath-tub lined with linen had been set before the fire and was
filled to
the brim with steaming water. Eliza put the herbs and oils beside it,
and at
Alys' nod helped Catherine from the bed.
Catherine's
legs were worse. Around her knees and around her ankles the skin was
white and
swollen. Her large belly stood out from the rest of her body with the
navel
protruding. Her breasts were tight and hot, blue-veined and distended.
The
nipples had swollen and were brown and bruised. Her hands were swollen
too,
with a deep red mark where her wedding ring was cutting into her
finger. Alys
took her hand.
'Does
this hurt?' she asked.
Catherine
nodded. 'It's grown too tight,' she said. 'It throbs.'
Alys
held her hand and put one arm around Catherine's wide waist to guide
her into
the water. Catherine sank, like a beached whale returning to the deep,
and
sighed with pleasure.
'Fetch
your lute,' Alys said to Eliza, 'and sing to us.'
Catherine
laid her head back against the edge of the tub. Alys folded a thick
square of
linen and placed it under Catherine's solid white neck. 'There,' she
said.
'That's more comfortable for you.'
Catherine
shut her eyes but her mouth quivered. 'I'm so tired,' she said
plaintively. 'So
tired.'
Alys
took a handful of soft waterlogged herbs and scrubbed Catherine's
shoulders in
a gentle circular motion. Catherine languidly raised one arm and then
another
for Alys to wash and rub. When she reached Catherine's fingers she
massaged
them with oil and pulled gently at the wedding ring. It was stuck
tight. They
would have to call a blacksmith to cut it off. Hugo's wedding ring
would have
to be cut off Catherine's hand. Alys hid a smile.
Catherine
leaned forward in the bath, grunting as she bent over her fat belly
while Alys
washed her back. Then Alys went around the tub and lifted and washed
one leg
after another. The skin was yielding, spongy to the touch. Both ankles
were
swollen as thick as if they were sprained, and both knees. Alys pressed
them
hard. Catherine did not complain of any discomfort. Alys' fingers left
dark red
marks.
Eliza
tuned her lute and started to play very softly. Catherine lay back in
the tub,
one white foot in Alys' hands, and shut her eyes. Alys, feeling her
healing
power welling and pouring through her fingers, rubbed at the sole of
Catherine's
swollen foot. She sensed Catherine's lack of balance, an unevenness
about her
body, something sickly, something poisonous inside her. She took up the
other
foot and rubbed it gently with oil.
When
she had finished with Catherine's feet she went to the head of the tub
and very
gently poured water over Catherine's thick brown hair, concentrating on
the
skin of the scalp and the temples, washing it with soap and then
rubbing it
with oil, and then rinsing it all until the hair was clean.
The
discontented look of a lonely child had drained away from Catherine as
if Alys'
touch was a panacea. Her face was rosy. When Eliza's song had finished,
she
hummed the chorus and then waved her hand: 'Sing it again!' she said.
Eliza
shot an irreverent wink at Alys and took up the lute for a second time
and sang
the song through once more. Catherine sighed with pleasure. 'The water
is
growing cold,' Alys said. 'You must come out, Catherine, or you will
chill.'
Eliza
laid down the lute and opened the door for a serving-girl. Alys held up
the
warmed sheet and draped it around Catherine from the front, Eliza threw
a
warmed sheet over her shoulders and back.
'Clear
this,' Alys said abruptly to the serving-girl and Eliza.
She
guided Catherine to the bed and patted at her face and hands and
shoulders
until they were dry, then she combed her fine brown hair and spread it
out
around her on the warmed sheet so that it would dry without tangles.
Catherine
lay like a painted statue, pink from the heat, smiling. Alys dropped
the
bed-curtains from their bags and drew them around the bed. The
serving-men came
and took the bath away. When they had gone, slopping water and
swearing, the
room was very quiet. Alys tied back the curtains at the head so
Catherine could
see the fire crackling and the flames burning brightly, sweet-smelling
with
Alys' incense.
The
door behind Alys opened and Hugo came into the room.
He
stepped up to the bed and put an arm around Alys' waist to keep her at
her
place.
'Are
you well, my Lady Catherine?' he asked gently.
Catherine's
eyes fluttered open. She smiled her delight at seeing him.
'Hugo,'
she said. 'You have been away from me for so long!'
He
nodded. 'I have neglected you,' he said. 'I left you to care for
yourself and the
child and Alys here tells me that you are not taking the exercise you
need.'
Catherine
looked at Alys and smiled. 'She takes very good care of me,' she said.
'And
she has a wonderful touch, has she not, Catherine?' Hugo asked.
Alys
looked quickly at him. He was smiling, there was some heat at the back
of his
smile. Alys could smell his lust like woodsmoke on an east wind. She
tensed and
tried to move aside. Hugo's grip tightened on her waist and his smile
never
faltered.
'Oh
yes,' Catherine agreed. 'She has been rubbing my back and my feet and
my head.
Alys has healing in her fingers, her touch is like silver.'
Alys
could feel Hugo's heat through his doublet. She felt danger massing
around her,
clotting in corners of the room, thickening and rolling closer like
woodsmoke
from green wood.
'I
will
leave you,' she said. 'I will leave you two alone and order your supper
to be
served here tonight.'
'No,'
Hugo said, not taking his eyes from Catherine's rosy, relaxed face. 'I
have a
fancy to see you massage my wife with your oils, Alys.' Catherine's
eyes
widened, but she said nothing. 'It is not fit. ..' Alys started.
'Do
it,' Hugo said softly. 'You have done everything else I have ever
desired. Now
I desire this.'
He
lifted the sheet which covered Catherine and dropped it to one side.
Catherine,
revelling in his attention after weeks of neglect, lay still and let
him look
at her, let his eyes wander over her bloated pale body, distended with
her
pregnancy. 'I please you?' she asked humbly.
Hugo
placed his hand on the mound of her belly. 'You do,' he said. 'And this
pleases
me most of all.'
He
glanced at Alys who was motionless, watching the two of them together.
'Do
it,
Alys,' he said. It was an order. Alys went slowly to the table and
poured
lavender and almond oils into the palm of her hand and rubbed them to
make them
warm. She was thinking feverishly how to escape from the two of them,
how to
get herself out of Catherine's chamber and into the safety of the
ladies'
gallery where the others were sitting around the fire and chattering
about the
haymaking. She glanced at Hugo as she walked around to the other side
of the
bed. His dark eyes were very bright. He looked capable of anything.
Alys
smelled danger as sharp as a curl of smoke from a spark in a haystack.
She
started gently and softly to stroke oil into Catherine's white puffy
shoulders
and arms. Catherine lifted her head to expose her thick neck, closed
her eyes
and lay still.
With a
little laugh Hugo walked to the door. Alys heard the click of the lock
as he
turned the key and then the rustle of his doublet as he threw it off.
When he
came back to the bed on the other side, he had rolled up his
shirtsleeves and
poured a handful of oil into his own hands.
'I
will
copy you, Alys, and learn your skills,' he said. His voice was like
silk; Alys
heard the tone of his rising lust and did not look across at him.
Catherine's
nipples were hardening as they stroked her shoulders and her neck.
'A
little lower?' Hugo suggested, a ripple of laughter in his voice. Alys
stroked,
with gentle small touches, down to the swell of Catherine's breast.
Hugo copied
her movements exactly. Catherine arched her back slightly on the bed,
her
stomach raised, her breasts moving towards their hands.
Hugo
chuckled. His palm moved confidently down and Alys watched her lover
cup his
hand over his wife's plump breast.
'I
should leave you now,' she whispered. She could not drag her eyes away
from his
confident, caressing hand. Catherine sighed with pleasure, her eyes
still
closed.
'You
do
it, Alys,' he told her, smiling his mischievous smile at Alys' tense,
anxious
face. 'Do it,' he said again.
Gently
she stroked the slope of Catherine's breast. 'I command it,' Hugo said
softly.
Alys slid the palm of her hand over Catherine's plump nipple and felt
the
nipple harden beneath her touch with a delicious responsiveness.
Catherine
moaned.
'Rub
me,' she said.
'You
do
it,' Hugo demanded. He reached across Catherine and took Alys' other
hand and
placed it on Catherine's other breast. At Alys' touch Catherine smiled.
Her
face, warm with pleasure, shadowed in candlelight, was lovely. Alys
stroked
gently all around Catherine's hot breasts, rubbed the nipples with the
flat of
her palm, felt a sudden rising desire to press harder, to stroke and
pummel
Catherine's warm, bulging, newly washed skin, to pinch her, tease her,
see her
squirm and arouse her desire.
'I
have
to tell you, my lady, that I have lain with Alys,' Hugo said quietly.
Alys
gasped and froze, but Catherine, her head arched back, her breasts
pushed
upwards to Alys' hands, was not distracted from her greedy sensuality.
'I
could not resist her,' Hugo said gently. 'She is a most delicate whore.'
Catherine
laughed, a breathless laugh, deep in her throat. 'You must take your
pleasure
where you will, Hugo,' she said. 'You are a man. You are the lord. You
must
have all that you desire.'
'I am
going,' Alys said abruptly. She turned for the door but Hugo was
quicker. He blocked
her way in a moment and she stood, outraged, her eyes blazing.
Hugo's
smile was as feckless and wicked as she had ever seen.
'Turn
around, Alys,' he said.
For a
moment she hesitated and he took her gently by her shoulders and turned
her back
to Catherine's sprawled wanton bulk on the bed. Catherine opened her
eyes and
smiled at Alys; she looked ready to eat her. Alys shuddered - partly
from
distaste, partly from a rising, unwanted desire. She was trapped by
Hugo's
lust, in Hugo's fantasy, as she had so often entrapped him. Gently he
pushed
her back to the bed. 'Touch her, Alys,' he said softly. 'Touch my wife
again.
You can stroke her - or even pinch her. You can slap her if you wish. I
imagine
you would like to slap her. She will not mind. She likes it.'
He
pushed her gently and Alys leaned forward and slid her hand, still
slick with
oil, from Catherine's thick throat down to her fat breasts. Catherine
groaned
softly and reached her arms out for Alys.
Hugo's
skilful hands went to the back of Alys' gown and untied the lacings,
loosening
them swiftly. Alys straightened up to protest, but Catherine, without opening her eyes, still
smiling, caught one of her
hands and
pulled it back on the warm, squashy breast.
'Rub
me,' she said. 'Alys, rub me.'
Hugo
chuckled, his wicked spoilt-boy chuckle, held Alys more firmly around
her waist
and pulled the lace from the holes with a swift hiss. The green
stomacher and
wide sleeves tumbled off. Hugo pushed down the white linen chemise so
Alys'
breasts and arms were bare. She made a soft, inarticulate protest.
'My
gown,' he reminded her. 'The new green gown. Mine to strip from you, as
we
agreed.'
He
untied the strings of the overskirt and dropped the expensive brocade
to the
floor. He untied the green silk underskirt and it fell in a ring at
Alys' feet.
Alys, held by Hugo's careless hand around the waist, both hands
captured by
Catherine, stood leaning over the bed wearing nothing but her fine
linen shift.
'On
the
bed,' Hugo ordered. He pushed her gently, and when she resisted he
pushed her
harder. 'I mean it, Alys,' he said. There was an unmistakable threat in
his low
voice. 'You have no choice, Mistress,' he said.
Reluctantly
Alys climbed on the bed beside Catherine. Catherine turned her face to
her and
smiled. 'Pretty Alys,' she said. Her voice was slurred with desire.
'Take her
shift off, Hugo,' she said. 'Strip her.'
Hugo
pulled Alys' shift up from her hips and over her head in one smooth
motion as
Catherine reached out for her and pulled her down beside her.
'I may
not enter you, my lady,' Hugo said thickly to Catherine. 'It would be
dangerous
for the baby and bad for your milk. But I can give you some pleasure, I
think.'
Catherine
laughed, a delighted, indulged laugh. 'You bring
me your whore?' she asked. 'Hugo,
you are wicked! You bring me your whore to please
me with her
silver fingers?'
Hugo
chuckled. 'I am a little wicked,' he conceded. They sounded as if they
were
flirting in some elaborate courtly ritual. Alys between them, naked and
shivery, shrank back as Catherine's scented damp body pressed forward.
'But
she would tempt a saint, wouldn't she, Catherine?' Hugo asked
agreeably. 'You
can't blame me for falling into temptation with Alys.'
He
took
a handful of Alys' hair and pulled her head back. He put his mouth over
hers
and Alys felt his tongue slide shamelessly into her mouth as he kissed
her
deeply and fully while Catherine watched. Incredulously, through her
own rising
desire, she heard Catherine's low aroused chuckle.
Hugo
released her. 'See how I share my secrets with you, Catherine!' he
said. 'You
are my lady! This is my whore.'
Catherine
took Alys' limp hand and put it to her breast again. 'Touch me again,'
she
said. 'Like you were doing before.'
‘I
won't be commanded as if I were a toy,' Alys said. She tried to speak
with her
power in her voice, but she sounded soft, petulant. She felt her power
draining
from her, mauled by the two of them. She pulled back, away from
Catherine's
grasping hands, but Hugo was up on the bed behind her and pressing her
forwards. His arms came round her waist and caressed her breasts. Alys
felt the
warmth of his familiar hands stroking her, cupping her breasts, gently
pulling
at her hardening nipples. Catherine's hands were on her belly, spanning
and
pinching Alys' narrow waist. 'Don't,' Alys said weakly. She heard
consent in
her own voice. She felt her rising desire to be taken by them both, to
have
them both use her as they wished. As if they were two rich, indulged
children,
and she a new toy for them to finger and destroy. As if she were
without value,
a nothingness, which they might tease, abuse, reject. If the two of
them played
with her to destruction, tore her to pieces between their greedy mouths
and working
fingers, it would be just. It would be her deserts.
'Don't,'
Alys said softly. Hugo heard her assent and laughed. 'Little whore,' he
said
tenderly and nudged her forward, his penis pressing hard against her
back.
'Alys, I think you long to see how low you can fall.'
Alys
leaned forward over Catherine's big belly and nuzzled at the fat
breasts and
licked, with the tip of her tongue, at Catherine's nipples. The oil was
sweet
and pungent, it furred Alys' tongue. She felt trapped in a nightmare of
heady
sickly tastes and new forbidden sensations.
Catherine
shuddered with pleasure at the touch of Alys' tongue, and took Alys in
her
arms. She snatched at Alys' hand and pushed it down between her legs.
Alys,
flinching with contradictory repulsion and lust, felt Catherine's bush
of thick
hair and then a deep slippery canal drenched in liquid, feeling her own
thighs
grow sticky and wet.
Catherine
was breathing fast. Her hands pressed Alys' hand against her body more
and more
urgently. She arched her back and rubbed herself against Alys' hands,
groaning
as she did. Alys gave a little gasp of distaste and of desire. She was
surrounded by Catherine and Hugo. Catherine squirming beneath her, Hugo
bearing
down on her from behind. The two of them were playing with her like two
malicious cats with a mouse.
And at
the same time Alys felt a leap of desire that she should be between
them, that
Catherine's hands should be pawing her, one at her breast, and one,
horribly,
delightfully, between her legs. That Hugo should be pressing himself at
her
back - as hard as a spear -probing between her legs, hard and slippery
with her
wetness, and then she felt Hugo rear up behind her and plunge himself
inside
her, at the same moment as Catherine snatched Alys' hand, ground her
hot wet
flesh against it and thrust it deep inside her.
Catherine
and Hugo groaned together, repeatedly thrusting at the same time, as
practised
lovers reaching release together. Alys, hot with desire, suddenly
frantic,
twisted and turned between them, but Hugo slackened and stilled, grew
small and
released her.
Catherine
rolled away, her breathing deep and easy, her face rosy and relaxed.
Hugo
dropped face down into the pillow with a deep sigh. Alys lay between
the two of
them, silently raging and unsatisfied. The small bones of her hand were
aching
where Catherine had crushed it against her flesh. Inside her body she
was hot
and sore, between her legs she was drenched and unsatisfied.
She
looked from one to the other; they were both smiling, sated. Neither of
them
looked at her, neither of them cared whether or not she had any
pleasure. The
question of Alys' irritable, unsated desire was of no importance. Alys'
sensation of drowning in corruption was of no interest. Catherine
pulled the
covers a little closer, her face slack with sleep and satisfaction. She
slept.
The fire crackled gently, the scent of lemon verbena was very sweet in
the
room. The three of them - the two naked pregnant women, and the
half-dressed
young lord - lay still. The lord and his lady slept.
Catherine
came down for supper in the great hall, rosy in her pink and cream
gown, her
face smiling, fat as a pudding, her hair spread out over her shoulders,
her
appetite sharp. Hugo had her on his arm as they walked into the
dining-hall and
there was a shout of appreciation and welcome from all the diners. Alys
took
her old place at the women's table and cast a hard look around at all
of them
to warn them not to mock her for her return.
'Welcome
back,' Eliza said irrepressibly.
Alys
met her bright eyes with a cold stare. 'I am happy to dine with you,
Eliza, and
with you all,' she said levelly. 'But do not forget that I am carrying
Hugo's
son in my belly - something each one of you would give a year's pay
for. Don't
forget that when Catherine takes to her bed again I shall be sitting
next to
the old lord and that I am his favourite. Don't forget that I am
Mistress Alys
to you and every one of you. My fortunes may rise and fall, but even at
their
ebb they are higher than you could dream.'
All
the
women looked at their plates and supped their broth in silence. Alys
let the
silence go on and on. She watched Hugo. Half a lifetime ago it seemed
that she
had sat here with Morach beside her, and watched Hugo's back with a
desire so strong
that she had thought she would die of it. Now she looked at his
shoulders and
his neck and the set of his head with silent hatred.
'Are
you not eating, Mistress Alys?' Ruth asked quietly.
Alys
glanced down at her bowl. The broth had grown cold, thick lumps of
grease
floated in it. Alys took a sip of wine tainted with the metallic taste
of the
pewter cup. David the steward had seen that her place on the women's
table was
laid with pewter, like theirs. Glass was only for the top table, and
she had
lost her place there.
'I am
not hungry,' she said briefly. 'I will ask Hugo to send me something to
my room
later.' She rose from the table and went to the high table, to the old
lord.
'I
wish
to leave the table,' she said softly in his ear. 'I have some pains and
I feel
sick. I wish to go to my room.'
The
look he turned on her was kindly enough, but he smiled as if he could
see
straight into her heart. 'Don't be envious, vixen,' he said softly.
'You come
second to Catherine. We always told you that. Go and sit at your place
and
drink and eat from pewter. She will keep to her room again some time
and you
can queen it up here then. But when she chooses to eat with us in the
hall
where she belongs, you take your place at the women's table - where you
belong.'
Alys
glanced across at Hugo. He was listening to some jest a man was
shouting to him
from a table further down the hall. He caught the end of the riddle and
threw
back his dark head in a shout of laughter.
'No,'
the old lord said, following her glance. 'There is no appeal against my
decision. I am master here still, Alys. Go and sit where you are bid.'
Alys
smiled her sweetest smile. 'Of course, my lord,' she said. 'I did not
wish to
spoil the good cheer and merry company at the ladies' table with my
illness.
But if you wish it, of course I will sit with them.'
Lord
Hugh glanced back at the table and barked a sharp laugh at the four
sour faces.
They were straining to hear what Alys and the old lord were whispering
about.
'Oh,
go
your ways,' he said indulgently. ‘I will spare you the merry cheer of
that
crew. Go to your room now, but another time you must sit with the silly
bitches.'
Alys
dipped him a curtsey and slipped out through the tapestry-hung door
behind
them. She caught Eliza's eye as she left and remembered her first
dinner in the
castle when they had told her that no one could leave before the lord.
'Things
are better for me now than they were then,' Alys said to herself
grimly. She
mounted the stairs to the ladies' gallery, pushed open the door and
pulled up a
chair before the fire. 'It is better for me now than in Morach's ugly
cottage.'
She threw another log on the fire and sat watching the sparks fly. 'I
have
forced them to see me for what I am,' she said defiantly to herself. 'I
came
here as a nobody and now they call me Mistress Alys and I have twelve
gowns of
my own. I have as many new gowns as Catherine.'
The
quietness of the room gathered around her. ‘I have forced them to see
me for
what I am,' Alys said again. She was silent for a moment, watching the
flames.
'They
see me as his whore,' she said softly. 'Today I became Hugo's whore.
And
everybody knows.'
Alys
was alone in her bedroom when the others came up to the gallery. She
heard them
talking and laughing, she heard the clink of jug on pewter. She sat by
her
little fireside, her door firmly shut, and listened to them playing a
card game
as Eliza sang. Then the chatter died down as one by one the women
excused
themselves and went to their room. Alys listened for Hugo's voice and
heard him
call 'Goodnight' to one of them. She sat by her fireside and waited. He
did not
come to her.
In the
early hours of the morning, when the darkness was still thick and the
moon was
setting in the west, Alys wrapped a shawl around her and crept across
her floor
to the door. She opened it and peeped out. The fire in the long gallery
had
died down, the ashes cold. Catherine's door was shut. There was no
sound.
Alys
paused for a moment by the hearth and remembered the time when she had
sat
there absorbed in her longing for Hugo and he had come from Catherine's
room
and put his arm around her and told her that he loved her. Alys
shrugged. It
was a long, long time ago. Before Morach's death, before her deep magic
had
come to claim her, before she had played the wanton with him - and had
him take
her at her word.
She
crept to Catherine's door and turned the handle gently. Opening it a
crack, she
could hear deep rhythmic breathing. She slid through the door like a
ghost and
peered into the room. The room was dark. All the candles were out and
the fire
had died away in the darkened grate. The little window faced the castle
courtyard and garden and no moonlight shone. Alys blinked her eyes,
trying to
see through the shadows.
In the
great high bed was Catherine, sprawled on her back with her high belly
making a
mountain of the covers. One arm was thrown carelessly above her head;
Alys
could see the thick clump of dark hair in her armpit. The other arm was
cradling
the man lying beside her. Alys stepped a little closer to see. It was
Hugo. He
was deep asleep, lying on his side with his head buried into
Catherine's neck,
his arm thrown proprietorially over her body. They lay like a married
couple.
They lay like lovers. Alys watched them without moving while they
breathed
steadily and peacefully. She watched them as if she would suck the
breath out
of their bodies and destroy them with the weight of her jealousy and
disappointment. Hugo stirred in his sleep and said something. It was
not Alys'
name.
Catherine
smiled, even in the darkness Alys could see the calm joy of Catherine's
sleepy
smile, and gathered him closer. Then they lay still again.
Alys
closed the door silently, and crept back, across the empty, cold
gallery to her
own room, shut the door behind her, drew her chair up to the fire,
wrapped her
shawl around her and waited for day to come.
In the
half-light of dawn, before the sun was up but while the sky was pale
yellow
with the promise of sunshine to come, Alys went over and opened the
chest of
her magic things. Tucked away in the corner was Morach's old bag of
bones - the
runes.
Alys
glanced behind her. Her bedroom door was shut, no one in the castle was
stirring. She glanced out of the arrow-slit window. In the pale light
she could
see strips of mist hovering and rising from the silver surface of the
river. As
she watched they rose and billowed. One of them looked like a woman, an
old
woman with grey hair and a shawl wrapped around her.
'No,'
Alys whispered, as she recognized her. 'I am not calling you. I will
use your
runes for I need to know my future. But I am not calling you. Stay in
the
water. Stay out of sight. You and I will both know when your time
comes.'
She
watched the mist until it billowed and ebbed and lay fiat and quiet
again, and
then she turned from the arrow-slit and sat on the rug before the fire.
She
shook the bag like a gambler shakes dice and then flung them all out
before
her. Without looking at the marks she picked three, carefully
considering each
choice, her hand hovering over one and then moving to another.
'My
future,' she said. 'Hugo uses me as his whore and now I am nothing
here. There
must be more for me. Show me my future.'
She
spread the three of her choice before her, one beside another, and
gathered the
others into their purse again. 'Now,' she said.
The
first one she had drawn was face down. The back was blank and she
turned it
over. The front was blank as well. 'Odin,' she said surprised.
'Nothingness.
Death.' The second was blank. She turned it over, and then turned it
over
again. 'It is not possible; there aren't two blank runes,' Alys
whispered to
herself. 'There is only one blank rune. All the rest are marked.' She
flipped
over the third. It was smooth and plain on both sides, one side as
empty as the
other. Alys sat very still with the three faceless runes in her hand.
Then
she raised her head and looked towards the arrow-slit. The mist
quivered as it
lay on the river, quivered and formed the shape of a resting woman.
'You knew,'
Alys said in a low whisper towards the mist. 'You told me, but I did
not hear.
Death, you said. Death in the runes. And I asked you "how long?" and
you would not tell me. Now your runes are blank for me too.'
She
tipped out the purse. The other bones spilled out on to the floor. Each
one was
smooth and as innocent of any mark as an old polished skull.
Alys
shuddered, as if the cold river water was pressing around her, as if
the green
deep wetness of it was coming up to her chin, lapping over her mouth.
She
gathered the runes together with one hasty gesture, slung them into the
bag,
and tossed the bag into the corner of the chest. Then, with her shawl
wrapped
tight around her, she crept into bed. She could not sleep for shivering.
Hugo
went out riding at first light, Catherine slept late. The women in the
gallery
eyed Alys sideways when she came out of her room, her face serene, her
red
cloak around her shoulders.
'I'm
going up to the moors,' she said to Eliza. ‘I need some more herbs for
Catherine. Is she sleeping still?'
'Yes,'
Eliza said. 'When will you be back?'
Alys
looked at her coldly. 'I shall be home in time for supper,' she said.
'I will
take my dinner with me and picnic out on the moors.'
'I'll
come with you to the stables,' Eliza said.
She
and
Alys went down the stairs, across the hall and out of the great door to
the
gardens. Eliza trotted to keep pace with Alys as they walked through
the
gateway, over the bridge and across the grass to the stables.
'It's
a
pretty mare,' Eliza said enviously as the stable-boy brought Alys' new
pony
out.
'Yes,'
Alys said with grim satisfaction. 'Yes, she is. She was expensive.' She
snapped
her fingers to the stable-lad. 'Fetch me some food from the kitchen.
I'll dine
on my own on the moors.' The lad dipped a bow and ran off.
'Hugo
slept with Catherine all night,' Eliza said in a confidential
undertone,
watching the lad run to the kitchen door. 'I know,' Alys said coldly.
'Has he
turned away from you now?' Eliza asked. Alys shook her head. 'I am
carrying his
son,' she said coldly. 'My place is safe.'
Eliza
looked at her with something very close to pity. Alys caught the look
and felt
herself flush.
'What
is it?' she demanded. 'What are you staring at?' 'You'd have been safer
married
to that soldier Lady Catherine picked out for you,' Eliza said
shrewdly. 'If
you wanted to know where you were with a man, he would have been the
one for
you. Hugo is as changeable as weather. Now he's back with Catherine
again, next
it'll be another woman. You can't ever call yourself safe if you trust
in
Hugo.'
The
stable-lad was running back with a small leather bag in his hand. He
tied it to
the saddle and brought the mare forward. 'He bought this for me, didn't
he?'
Alys said to Eliza, pointing to the pony. 'And I have a chest full of
gowns.
And I am carrying his son in my belly. I am safe enough here, aren't I?'
Eliza
shrugged, holding Alys' herb sack while the lad helped her up. 'He's
fickle,'
she said again. 'A woman who lives as a whore should keep a big bag of
savings.
It's a chance-made business. You've ridden very high, Alys, but I think
you're
coming down now.'
'Mistress
Alys to you!' Alys flared. She shook out the skirts of her red gown,
smoothed
the rich embroidered overskirt, and gathered her reins in her hand. She
looked
down at Eliza as if she were a beggar at the gates and Alys a fine
lady. 'I am
Mistress Alys to you,' she said again.
Eliza
shrugged her shoulders. 'Not any more, I reckon,' she said. 'I reckon
you're
falling, Alys. I reckon you are on your way down.'
Alys
wheeled the mare around, her face set, and kicked her towards the
castle
gateyard. As she trotted past the soldiers they shouldered their pikes
in a
salute but Alys looked neither left nor right. Down the little hill of
Castleton she spurred the pony and then around the base of the cliffs
at the
foot of the castle to cross the bridge over the river and up to the
moors. She
did not pull up the pony until they were on the far side of the
river-bank and
it was blowing hard and out of breath. Then she drew rein and looked
back at
the castle, grey and lovely in the summer sunlight. Alys stared at it,
as if
she would swallow it up, gobble the whole place to sate her hunger,
lords,
ladies, servants and all.
Then
she turned the pony around and headed up for the moorland.
She
had
not planned to ride to Morach's cottage, she had headed west from the
castle,
heading for the moors without any sense of purpose. The herb bag had
been an
excuse but as the hedges fell away from the side of the road and the
land
became more wild Alys saw a little clump of windflowers on the side of
the road
and pulled up the horse. She slid from the saddle and picked them,
wrapped them
in dock leaves, and then, leading the horse by the reins, she walked
down
through the field towards the river, watching the thick meadow grass
under her
feet for any other herbs or flowers she could use.
The
river was at its summertime ebb, sluggishly winding along the stone
slabs,
standing still in deep brown peaty pools, disappearing down the cracks
of the
river bed and then welling up in a narrow drying stream a few yards on.
A
redshank flew up from a pool calling and calling a clear sweet sound.
Further downriver
the water would have drained from Morach's grave, her body would be
rotting,
busy with flies. Alys shrugged and turned her thoughts away from it.
Alys
walked along the river-bank, leading her horse, watching the banks for
herbs
and for the innocent faces of the small meadow flowers. The smell of
wild thyme
was sweet and heady, the harebells stirred as the steady ceaseless
moorland
breeze breathed through them. The little darkfaced Pennine violets
bobbed as
the red skirts of Alys' long gown brushed them. Away on the higher
ground,
white, mauve and blue clouds of lady's-smock swayed together on their
long
stems. Alys walked as if she could walk away from loneliness, walk away
from
need, walk away from the love of her life which had turned sour as soon
as she
had twisted it to serve her purpose.
With
her little mare dawdling behind her, Alys walked, wishing she were far
away
from the castle, far away from Hugo, far away from her own ceaseless
ambition.
Alys walked, her eyes watchful for healing herbs, her mind at a loss as
to her
next step. God had failed her, love had failed her, magic had entrapped
her.
Alys, sure-footed on the familiar paths, was lost. All she could still
feel was
her hunger to survive - as keen and as vivid as ever; and behind that
her old
grief for her mother - Mother Hildebrande - that stayed with her, sharp
and
alive even when the runes read blank and Alys was as unsighted as any
ordinary
woman. On the clear sun-filled day, with larks climbing as high as
heaven and
lapwings calling and curlews crying, Alys walked alone in her own world
of
darkness, coldness and need.
She
stopped abruptly. She had walked nearly as far as the deep pool before
Morach's
old cottage. She shaded her eyes against the bright morning sunlight
and looked
up the lull towards it. It was in the same state that it had always
been. The stone-slated roof looked ready to slide off into a heap, the
one tiny
horn
window was dark and abandoned. No smoke eddied from the window or the
door.
Alys walked towards it and tied her horse to the hawthorn bush laden
with
creamy-white sickly flowers at the garden wall. She hitched up her
skirt and
climbed through the little sheep gap. Morach's vegetables were
sprouting,
burdened with weeds, in their bed. Alys stared at them for a moment,
remembering that she had planted them, all those months ago in the
autumn. It
seemed odd that Morach should be dead, long dead, and yet her turnips
were
growing in their bed. The front door was unfastened; the little hook
had never
held it firm, it was banging in the light breeze. Alys guessed that the
bravest
of children from Bowes village might have pushed open the door to look
inside
and then scattered, breathless with terror. None of them would have
dared go
nearer.
'I
dare,' Alys said aloud. But she stayed, waiting on the outside.
The
door squeaked and banged. Inside the cottage something softly rustled.
Alys
thought that there would be rats in the cottage, grown fat on Morach's
seed
store, nesting in the rags of her bed. Alys waited on the doorstep,
almost as
if she expected to hear Morach's irritable voice calling her to stop
dawdling
and come in. The rustling noise in the cottage had stopped. Still Alys
paused,
delayed pushing open the door, stepping over the threshold. Then, as
she
hesitated, she clearly heard the noise of someone moving. Someone
moving,
inside the cottage. Not a rat, not the rustle of a small animal. Alys
heard
footsteps, someone walking heavily and slowly across the floor.
Involuntarily
Alys stepped back, her hand reaching behind her for the reins of her
horse. The
footsteps inside the cottage paused. Alys opened her mouth to call out,
but no
sound came. The horse dipped its head, its ears pressed back as if it
smelled
Alys' fear and the Uncanny eerie smell of death from the cottage.
There
was another noise, a dragging noise, like someone pulling a stool up to
the
fireside. Bright in Alys' mind was the image of Morach, dripping with
river
water, blue with cold, her skin puffy and soggy from months underwater,
climbing out of her cave as the river level sank, walking wetly
upstream to her
cottage und pulling her stool up to her cold fireside to hold her white
waterlogged hands towards the empty grate. A damp smell of death seemed
to
swirl outwards from the cottage. Alys imagined Morach's half-rotten
body
decaying as she walked, falling off her bones as she waited for Alys to
come to
her. As she waited in the darkness of the cottage for Alys to open the
door.
Alys
gave a little moan of terror. Morach was indoors waiting for her and
the moment
of reckoning between the two of them was to be now. If Alys turned and
fled she
knew she would hear the swift squelch of rotting feet running behind
her and
then feel the icy cold touch of fingers on her shoulder.
With a
cry of terror Alys stepped forward, wrenched open the door, and flung
it wide.
At once her worst nightmares became real.
She
had
not imagined the noise.
She
had
not imagined the footsteps.
In the
shadowy cottage she could see the figure of a woman seated before the
fireplace, a stooped figure of a woman shrouded in her cloak. As the
door
banged open she slowly straightened up and turned around.
Alys
screamed, a breathless, choked-off scream. In the darkness of the
cottage she
could see no face. All she could see was the hooded woman rising to her
feet
and coming nearer and nearer; coming towards her and stepping over the
threshold so the sun shone full on her face. Alys half closed her eyes,
waiting
for the glimpse of ghastly blue puffy flesh, waiting for the stink of a
drowned
corpse.
It was
not Morach. The woman was taller than Morach had been. The face she
turned to
Alys was white, aged and lined with pain. Half-hidden by the hood of
her cloak
was a thick mane of white hair. Her eyes were grey. Her hands,
stretched out to
Alys, were thin and freckled with age spots. They shook as if she were
sick
with the palsy.
'Please...'
was all she said. 'Please..
'Who
are you?' Alys said wildly, her voice high with terror. 'I thought you
were Morach!
Who are you? What are you doing here?'
The
woman trembled all over. 'I am sorry,' she said humbly. Her voice was
cracked
with age or grief but her speech was slow and sweet. 'Forgive me. I
thought
this place was empty. I was seeking .. „'
Alys
stepped
closer, her anger flowing into her like hot wine reviving her. 'You've
no right
to be here!' she shouted. "This place is not empty. It is no shelter
for
beggars und paupers. You will have to leave.'
The
woman raised her face imploringly. 'Please, my lady,' she started and
then a
clear light of joy suddenly flooded over her face, and she cried out,
'Sister
Ann! My thirling! My little Sister Ann! Oh, my darling! You're
safe!'
'Mother!' Alys said in a sudden blinding moment of recognition and then
fell
forward as the arms of Mother Hildebrande came around her again and
held her as
if she had never been away.
The
two
women clung to each other. 'Mother, my mother,' was all Alys said. The
abbess
felt Alys' body shake with sobs. 'My mother.'
Gently
Hildebrande released her. 'I have to sit,' she said apologetically. ‘I
am very
weak.' She sank down to I stool. Alys dropped to her knees beside the
abbess.
'How did you come here?' she asked. The woman smiled. 'I think Our Lady
must
have brought me to you,' she said. ‘I have been ill all this long
while, in
hiding with some faithful people in a farm a little way from
Startforth. They
told me of this little hovel. There was an old woman living here once,
but she
has gone missing. They thought that if I lived here and sold medicines
to those
that asked it of me, that it was my best chance for safety. In a little
while,
we thought, no one would distinguish one old woman from another.'
'She
was a witch,' Alys said with revulsion. 'She was a dirty old witch.
Anyone
could tell you apart.'
Mother
Hildebrande smiled. 'She was an old woman with more learning than was
safe for
her,' she said. 'And so am I. She was a woman wise beyond her station,
and so
am I. She must have been a woman who by chance or choice was an outlaw,
and so
am I. I shall live here, in hiding, at peace with my soul, until the
times
change and I can again worship God in the Church of His choosing.'
She
smiled at Alys as if it were a life that anyone would prefer, that a
wise woman
would envy. 'And what of you?' she asked gently. 'I have mourned you
and prayed
for your immortal soul every night of my life since I last saw you. And
now I
have you back again! Surely God is good. What of you, Sister Ann? How
did you
escape the fire?'
'I
woke
when the fire started,' Alys lied rapidly. 'And I was running to the
chapel to
ring the bell when they caught me. They took me into the woods to rape
me, but
I managed to get away. I went far away, all the way to Newcastle
searching for
another nunnery, so that I could keep my vows; but it was unsafe
everywhere.
When I came back to look for you or any of the sisters, Lord Hugh at
the castle
heard of me and employed me as his clerk.'
Mother
Hildebrande's face was stern. 'Has he ordered you to take the oath to
deny your
Church and your faith?' she asked. Her hands were still palsied and her
face
was that of a frail old woman. But her voice was strong and certain.
'Oh
no!' Alys exclaimed. 'No! Lord Hugh believes in the old ways. He has
sheltered
me from that.' 'And have you kept your vows?' the old woman asked. She
glanced
at Alys' rich gown, the red gown of Meg the whore who died of the pox.
'Oh
yes,' Alys said quickly. She turned her pale heart-shaped face upwards
to
Mother Hildebrande. 'I keep the hours of prayer in silence, in my own
mind. I
may not pray aloud of course, nor can I choose what I wear. But I fast
when I
should and I own nothing of my own. I have been touched by no man. I am
ready
to show you my obedience. All my major vows are unbroken.'
Mother
Hildebrande cupped her hand around Alys' cheek. 'Well done,' she said
softly.
'We have had a hard and weary trial, you and I, daughter. I have
thought often
that it was easier for the others, those who died that night and are in
paradise today, than for me trying to hold to my vows and struggling
with a
world which grows more wicked every day. And it must have been so hard
for
you,' Mother Hildebrande said gently. 'Thank God we are together now.
And we
need never be apart again.'
Alys
hid
her face in Mother Hildebrande's lap. The old woman rested her hand on
Alys'
bright head.
'Such
lovely hair,' she said gently. 'I had forgotten, Sister Ann, that you
were so
fair.' Alys smiled up at her.
‘I
have
not seen your hair since your girlhood,' Mother Hildebrande remembered.
'When
you first came to me, out of the world of sin, with your bright curly
hair and
your pale, beautiful face.' She paused. 'You must beware of the sin of
vanity,'
she said gently. 'Now you are thrust out into the world in your
womanhood. Now
that you wear a red gown, Sister Ann, and with your hair worn loose.'
'They
make me dress like this,' Alys said swiftly. 'I have no other clothes.
And I
thought it right not to endanger Lord Hugh, who protects me, by
insisting on a
dark gown.'
Mother
Hildebrande shook her head, unconvinced. 'Very well,' she said. 'You
have had
to make compromises. But now we can make our own lives again. Here, in
this
little cottage, we will start. We will make a new nunnery here. Just
the two of
us for now, but perhaps there will be more later on. You and I will
keep our
vows and lead the life that is appointed to us. We shall be a little
light in
the darkness of the moorland. We will be a little light for the world.'
'Here?'
Alys said, bemused. 'Here?' Mother Hildebrande laughed her old laugh,
full of
joy. 'Why not?' she said. 'Did you think that serving Our Lady was all
rich
vestments and silver and candles, Sister Ann? You know better than
that! Our
Lady was a simple woman, She probably lived in a home no better than
this! Her
son was a carpenter. Why should we want more than Her?'
Alys
felt she was gaping. She tried to gather her thoughts together. 'But,
Mother
Hildebrande,' she said, 'we cannot live here. In summer it is well
enough but
in winter it is dreadfully hard. We have no money, we have no food. And
people
will talk about us and then the soldiers will come ...'
Mother
Hildebrande was smiling. 'God will provide, Sister Ann,' she said
gently. 'I
have prayed and prayed for you, and I have prayed and prayed to live
once more
under the rules of our Order, and now, see, my prayers are answered.'
Alys
shook her head. 'They are not answered,' she said desperately. 'This is
not the
answer to your prayers. I know what it is like here! It is dirty and
cold. The
garden grows nothing fit to eat, in winter the snow banks up to the
door. God
does not want us to be here!' Mother Hildebrande laughed, her old,
confident
laugh. 'You seem to be deep in His counsels that you speak so
certainly!' she
said gently. 'Do not fret so, Sister Ann. Let us take what He gives us.
He has
given us each other and this roof over our heads. Surely He is good!'
'No!
It's not possible ...' Alys urged. 'We must go away. We must go to
France or
Spain. There is no place for us in England any more. We court disaster
if we
stay here and try to practise our faith.'
The
old
abbess smiled and shook her head. ‘I have sworn to practise my faith
here,' she
said gently. 'I was commanded to lead an order here, in England. No one
ever
said that if it became hard I should run away.'
'We
would not be running!' Alys urged. 'We would find another nunnery, they
would
accept us. We would be obeying our vows, living the life we should
lead.'
The
abbess smiled at Alys and shook her head. 'No,' she said softly. 'God
gave me
thirty years of wealth and comfort, serving Him in luxury. Now He has
called me
to hardship. How should I refuse Him?'
'Mother
Hildebrande, you cannot live here!' Alys raised her voice in
exasperation. 'You
know nothing about the life here. You do not understand. You will die
here in
wintertime. This is folly!'
There
was a moment's shocked silence at Alys' rudeness. Then Mother
Hildebrande spoke
with gentle finality.
‘I
believe that this is the will of the Lord,' she said. 'And I am bound
by my
vows of obedience to do His will.' She paused for a moment. 'As are
you,' she
said. 'But it's not possible .. .' Alys muttered mutinously.
'As
are
you,' Mother Hildebrande said again more slowly, her voice warning.
Alys
sighed and said nothing.
There
was a silence between the two women. Alys, glancing up from where she
knelt at
her mother's feet, saw that the abbess' eyes were filled with tears.
'I.
..'
she started.
'When
can you join me here?' Mother Hildebrande demanded. 'We should start
our new
life at once. And there are many things we need which you can provide.'
Alys'
moment of penitence was brief. 'I don't know when I can come,' she said
distractedly. 'My life at the castle is so uncertain . . .' She broke
off,
thinking of Hugo and Catherine, and her own baby growing in her belly.
'I could
come next week perhaps,' she said. 'I could come for a few days next
week.'
Mother
Hildebrande shook her head. 'That is not enough, Sister Ann,' she said
gently.
'You have been away from our holy Order for many months, but before
then you
lived with us for many years. You cannot have forgotten our discipline
so soon.
You may go now, but you must come back tomorrow, wearing a plain dark
gown and
bringing with you whatever Lord Hugh is prepared to give gladly. For
the rest,
we will grow our own food and weave our own cloth. We will make our own
rushlights and write our own books from memory. We will make bread and
sell it
in the market, we will fish, and sell what we catch. And we will make
simple
medicines and remedies and sell or give them to people who are in
need.' Alys
kept her eyes down so Mother Hildebrande could not see her panic and
her
immediate utter refusal. 'It looks very dark for our Church,' Mother
Hildebrande said. 'But this is how it was for Saint Paul himself, or
for Saint
Cuthbert when the English Church was nearly destroyed before, by the
pagans.
Then, as now, the Lord called His people to serve Him in darkness and
secrecy
and want. Then, as now, their faith triumphed. God has called us for a
special
mission, Sister Ann, only He knows how great our work will be.' Alys
said
nothing. Mother Hildebrande no longer looked like a weary old lady. Her
face
was radiant with her joy, her voice strong with certainty. She broke
off and
smiled at Alys, her familiar, loving smile.
'Go
now,' the abbess said gently. 'It must be near the time for sext. Pray
as you
ride back to the castle and I will pray here. You have not forgotten
the
offices of the day, Sister Ann?'
Alys
shook her head. She could not remember one word of them. 'I remember
them all,'
she said.
The
abbess smiled. 'Say them at the appointed hours,' she said. 'The Lord
will
forgive us that we are not on our knees in His chapel. He will
understand. And
tomorrow, when you come, you will confess to me your sins and we will
start
afresh.' Alys nodded dumbly.
The
abbess rose from the stool. Alys saw she walked very stiffly, as if her
back
and her hip bones and legs all ached.
‘I am
a
little weary,' she said, as she caught Alys' look. 'But once I start
working in
the garden I shall grow fit and strong again.'
Alys
nodded and went out of the door. The abbess stood on the threshold.
Alys untied
the pony's bridle and then remembered her bag of food.
'Here,'
she said. ‘I brought this for my dinner, but you can have it.'
The
abbess' wise old face lit up with a smile. 'There, my child!' she said
delightedly. 'The Lord has provided for us, and He will provide for us
over and
over again. Don't be faint-hearted, Sister Ann! Trust in Him, and He
will bring
us to great joy.'
Alys
nodded dumbly and climbed up the step of the sheep gate and stepped
into the
saddle.
That's
a very fine horse,' the abbess observed. 'Too good for a cleric, I
would have
thought.'
'It's
Lady Catherine's horse,' Alys said quickly. 'She is carrying the young
lord's
child and cannot ride. They like me to ride her mare to keep it in
exercise.'
The
abbess nodded slowly, looking from the horse to Alys. For one moment
Alys was
gripped with a chilling certainty that the old woman understood
everything,
could see everything. The lies, the witchcraft, the walking wax dolls,
the
murder of Morach, and the bed with three writhing, greedy bodies.
Hugo's laugh
when he called her his wanton whore echoed in the sunny afternoon air
around
them.
Mother
Hildebrande looked into Alys' face, unsmiling. 'Come tomorrow,' she
said
gently. ‘I think you have been very near to very grave sin, my
daughter. Come
tomorrow and you can confess to me and with the guidance of God I will
absolve
you.'
'I
have
not been near sin,' Alys said breathlessly. She managed a clear honest
smile.
'Nowhere near, praise God!' she said lightly.
Mother
Hildebrande did not smile in return. She looked from the expensive,
elegant
pony in the rich, well-made harness to Alys in her red gown with the
silver
embroidered stomacher and her cherry-red cape; and her old face was
drained of
its earlier joy. She looked as if she had been cut to the heart.
'Tomorrow
at noon,' she said firmly and turned and went back inside the cottage.
Alys
watched the door shut on the frail figure and stayed for a moment
longer. There
was no sound of a tinderbox, no smoke drifted out of the barred window.
There
would be no dry kindling in the hut, perhaps only one or two
rushlights. Morach
might have hidden her tinderbox. But even if there had been one -
Mother
Hildebrande would not have known how to light a fire.
Alys
wrenched the mare's head around towards home. 'Come on!' she said
sullenly. She
kicked it hard and the animal flinched and lunged forward, nearly
unseating
her. 'Come on!' she said.
When
Alys rode up to the inner castle gate Eliza came dashing down the
stairs,
pushing past the soldiers and dragging her from the saddle.
'Come
at once! Come at once!' she said in an urgent undertone. 'It's
Catherine! She's
in pain. None of us know what to do! Thank God you're back now! They
were about
to send the soldiers out to look for you!'
Alys
let
Eliza grab her and rush her across the drawbridge, through the great
hall and
up the stairs to the ladies' gallery.
The
place was filled with people. Servants were dodging in and out carrying
trays.
Sheets were airing before the fire. Someone had let Hugo's deerhound
into the
room and it growled when it saw Alys. Two serving-men were labouring up
the
stairs with the bath-tub, another two coming behind with churns of hot
water.
'She
said she wanted a bath,' Eliza said. 'She wanted you to bath her again,
like
you did yesterday. Then she said she felt pains in her belly. She was
walking
around to ease them. We made her get into bed. Hugo has only just come
in
himself, we were afraid you were off together and would be gone all
day. David
has just gone to tell Lord Hugh. Catherine's in her bedroom -go to her,
Alys!
Go to her!'
Alys
clapped her hands. 'Out of here!' she shouted. All of her anger and
fear and
frustration boiled over in one releasing burst of rage. 'Out of here,
you
useless toss-pots!' she yelled. She took one of the servants by the
shoulder
and spun him around and thrust him out of the room. He staggered on the
stairs
and collided with another, hurrying up the stairs with extra sheets.
Alys
grabbed a page-boy by the ear and pushed him out of the room. One of
the
serving-wenches was giggling helplessly at the chaos. Alys smacked her
hard
across the face and watched with vicious pleasure as the red marks of
her
fingertips showed on the girl's cheek.
'Now
get out,' Alys said to them all. 'I will call you if I need any of you.'
She
left them scrambling for the gallery door and stalked towards
Catherine's
bedroom.
Hugo
was at the head of the bed, holding Catherine's hands. Her women, Ruth,
Mistress Allingham and Margery, were on the other side of the bed. Ruth
was
swinging a censer of silver which Alys recognized as part of Hugo's
haul from
the nunnery. The air was thick with the throat-rasping smell of
incense.
Margery was sponging Catherine's head. She was tossing on the pillow,
with her
eyes shut. Every now and then she gave a gasp of pain and strained her
body
upwards as if some giant hand had gripped her in the middle and hauled
her to
the roof.
'Stop
that,' Alys said irritably to Ruth. 'And open a window. The place
stinks.'
Hugo
looked up, his scowl disappearing. 'Thank God you're back, Alys,' he
said. 'No
one knew what to do, and the physician in Castleton is away all week. I
was on
the edge of sending for the wise woman from Richmond.' 'When did the
pains
start?' Alys asked. Catherine opened her eyes at Alys' voice. 'This
morning,'
she said. 'When I woke.'
Alys
nodded knowledgeably, though she knew nothing more. 'I'll have to look
at her,'
she said. 'You'd better wait outside.'
Hugo
leaned over Catherine's bed and pressed a kiss on her forehead. As he
passed
Alys he laid a hand on her shoulder. 'Save my son,' he said in an
undertone.
'Nothing in the world is more important than that.'
Alys
did not even look at him. 'Of course,' she said curtly.
Hugo's
pat on her shoulder was that of a man to a trusted comrade. Alys,
remembering
his hands cupped on her breasts as he thrust her towards Catherine's
smothering
embrace, shot him an angry glare, but he was looking at Catherine. He
did not
even see her.
'Give
her something to ease her pain,' he said softly. 'She's being very
brave. I'll
be outside all the time. I'll come in if she wants me.' 'Certainly,'
Alys said
frigidly.
Hugo
led the way out of the room, the women scuttling after him. 'Shall I
stay?'
Eliza asked.
'What
could you do?' Alys asked cruelly. 'You know nothing. What use could
you be?
Tell them to bring the chest of my things from my room.'
Catherine
moaned again and Alys went swiftly to her side.
'What
sort of pain is it?' she asked. 'Like opening,' Catherine gasped. 'Like
opening
up and splitting. Alys, help me!'
There
was a tap at the door. Two serving-men came into the room carrying
Alys' chest
of herbs and oils, put it gently on the floor and went out. Alys opened
the
chest and took out a twist of powder in a piece of paper. 'On the right
side or
on the left?' she asked. Catherine groaned again. 'All over,' she said.
'I feel
strange, Alys. As if this were not me. I feel in the grip of something
else.'
'Open
your mouth,' Alys said. Deftly she tipped the powder down Catherine's
throat
and then held a glass of water for her to sip. At once Catherine's
colour came
back into her cheeks and she breathed a little more easily.
'What
can it be, Alys?' she asked. 'It's something wrong with the baby, isn't
it?'
'It's
coming before its time,' Alys said. 'Could you have been mistaken with
the
dates, Catherine? You are only nearing your seventh month. It should
not come
yet.'
Catherine
gasped as another pain seized her. 'I could be, I could be,' she said.
'But not
two or three months wrong. There's something wrong. I can feel it!'
'What
can you feel?' Alys asked urgently. Hidden away at the back of her mind
was the
thought that perhaps Catherine's pregnancy was going wrong. That the
child
would not be born, or would not be a son. Or would be born dead. Or if
Catherine were to die ...
‘I
feel
strange,' Catherine said. Her voice sounded unreal, as if she were
calling from
a long way away. 'Help me, Alys! You love me dearly I know! Help me,
Alys! I
feel as if the child is slipping out of me, melting and slipping away!'
Alys
stripped back the covers. Catherine's plump, puffy legs were stained
with veins
of blue, flushed pink with heat. Alys pulled up Catherine's shift with
reluctance and peered at her. The lower sheet was stained with a pale,
creamy
juice.
'Is
this your waters? Have your waters broken?' Alys asked.
Catherine
shook her head, her body twisted as a spasm of pain took her. ‘I don't
know, I
don't think so,' she said. ‘I have had nothing but this oozing.'
'No
blood?' Alys asked.
'No,'
Catherine said. 'Alys, keep the baby inside me. I can feel it melting.'
Alys
pulled Catherine's shift down and rested her hand on Catherine's round
belly.
'You are being foolish,' she said firmly. 'Foolish and hysterical.
Babies do
not melt. I can see you are in pain and I can help you bear your pain;
but
there is no blood and your waters have not broken. Your baby is still
inside
you and he is well. Babies do not melt.'
Catherine
started up on the bed, half-supporting herself with her arms. She
glared at
Alys and her face was wild, her hair tossed around her face, her eyes
bulging.
'I tell you he is melting!' she screamed. 'Why won't you listen to me,
you
fool! Why won't you do as I tell you! Do something to make the baby
safe! He is
melting. I feel him melting! He is melting inside me and slipping away!'
Alys
pushed Catherine back down on the pillows and held her hard by the
shoulders.
'Hush,' she said roughly. 'Hush. That cannot be, Catherine. You are
mistaken.
You are gibbering nonsense.'
She
rested her hand on Catherine's rounded belly and then snatched it away
again in
instinctive horror. Catherine gave another groan. 'I told you,' she
wept.
Alys
put her hand back, she could hardly believe what she had felt. Under
the palm
of her hand she distinctly felt the round fullness of Catherine's belly
reduce
and subside. Something under the thick layer of flesh shifted and
bubbled. As
it did so, Catherine groaned again.
'The
baby is going,' Catherine said despairingly. She was groaning deep in
her
throat, an animal growl, not like a woman at all. 'I cannot hold him.
He is
going,' she said.
Alys
pulled Catherine's shift up and looked again at the woman's parted
legs. The
pool of creamy white juice had spread over the sheets. Alys gagged and
swallowed her saliva.
'I
don't know what this stuff is. I don't know what to do,' she muttered.
Catherine
did not even hear her. She was straining her body upwards, and as she
thrust
her belly towards the ceiling Alys could see the shape of the rounded
bump
flowing and changing like river slime.
'Lie
still, lie still,' Alys commanded helplessly. 'Lie still, Catherine,
and
nothing will happen!'
'He's
going!' Catherine cried. 'I cannot hold him in. I cannot hold him.
Ohhh!'
As she
groaned, Alys saw the birth canal open, widen. She caught a glimpse of
pale
body and thought for a sudden moment of hope that the baby would be
born whole,
that she might even save it, that Catherine might have her dates all
wrong and
the baby was ready to be born.
'I see
him!' she said. 'Let him come, Catherine, let him come. You are ready
to give
birth to him. Let him come!'
Catherine
bore down, her stomach muscles fighting to push her baby out into the
world.
Alys slid her small skilled hands into the birth canal and gently
gripped the
tiny body inside. For a moment she felt the baby, small, well-formed;
felt his
rounded buttocks and a firm, muscled leg. Her hands slid over his
perfect
shoulder and felt his little arm, his hand clenched in a fist. He was
slightly
askew. Alys smiled through her concentration and felt upwards, along
the warm,
wet body to find the head, to guide him outwards, to bring him head
outwards
for his little journey. His shoulder was rounded and smooth to her
touch. Alys'
gentle hands went up to his rounded, hard skull and sensed the delicate
shaping
of his face.
Catherine
groaned again as her muscles contracted. Alys slipped her hands away
from the
clamp of the muscles and then slid in again to turn and guide the
little body.
He was turning, he was coming right, head first into the world. She
took either
side of his skull in a gentle firm grip and pulled him towards her, out
of the
slippery tight canal of Catherine's body. 'Yes,' she said. 'I have him
safe.'
Alys had forgotten that this was her rival, that this was Hugo's heir
which
would threaten her own safety, her own son. She was entranced by the
desire to
aid the birth. She was moving in the unconscious rhythm of all wise
women who
go deep into a mother to bring a baby out, safe, into the light. Alys
pulsed
with the baby, moved with Catherine, timed her touches and her tugs to
the
rhythm of the birth. 'He is coming!' she breathed excitedly. 'He is
coming.'
The
little body turned again, Alys reached deep inside Catherine, gripped
the skull
and the little shoulder and steadily, carefully, pulled.
With a
sickening jolt her fingers broke through the soft crust of his skull
and
punctured his body, as soft as lye soap. An arm came away in her hand,
a gout
of liquid cascaded into her palm. Alys screamed with horror.
As she
screamed, Catherine pressed downwards again and there was an explosion
of white
slime into Alys' face, hot and wet, in lumps against her mouth, her
lips, her
eyes, sticking to her hands, her hair, her dress.
'No!
No! No!' Alys screamed, batting both hands against the horror of
Catherine's
bed. 'No!'
Again
and again Catherine pressed down and lump after lump of the white foam
was
voided from her body until the sheets were covered with the mess of it
and the
room stank of tallow.
'It's
wax!' Alys said in utter horror. 'Oh my God, it's candlewax!'
She
backed against the window, her hands caked with wax, hiding her face,
where
little blobs of wax were drying hard on her skin. 'Oh my God, oh my
God,' she
said over and over again. 'It's wax. It's candlewax.' Catherine gave
one last
groan and then lay still. 'My God! It's candlewax!' Alys repeated till
the
words lost their meaning and became nothing more than a howl of horror.
'Candlewax! Candlewax! Candlewax!'
Alys
picked at her face, scratching the drying spots off her skin,
shuddering at the
wax under her fingernails. She scratched at the backs of her hands, at
her
palms. She was coated in the stuff. 'I'll never be clean,' she said in
the high
sharp tones of uncontrollable hysteria. 'Candlewax! I'll never get it
off!'
Catherine
lay on her back, deaf to Alys' insane whimperings. Her body had
expelled its
muck and she was exhausted and empty. It was long moments before she
moved and
then she put up her hand and patted her belly, disbelievingly. It had
lost its
shape. It was still fat, fleshy and loose; but it no longer jutted
proud. Her
baby was gone. She pushed herself slowly, laboriously, up the bed to
rest on
the pillows and looked down at the mess on the sheets and at Alys,
backed
against the wall, hair and face drenched in candlewax, her eyes black
with
horror, her hands feverishly picking, picking, picking - at her skin,
her hair,
her dress.
'What
is this?' Catherine asked, her voice thin with horror. 'What is this
stuff?
What has happened to me?'
Alys
swallowed and gagged, swallowed again. She looked down disbelievingly
at her
working hands and stilled them with an effort. She took a deep breath.
'You
have no baby,' she finally croaked. 'Your baby has gone.'
Catherine
leaned forward and pushed a finger into one of the white gobbets. 'My
baby was
this?' she asked.
Alys
shook her head. 'It never was a baby, not a flesh and blood baby,' she
said.
'This is wax from your body. There never was a real baby at all.' Her
voice
broke into a little shriek at the end, and she clapped a hand over her
mouth to
still the noise. 'Just a flux,' she said softly. 'Not a baby.'
Catherine's
face was gaunt. 'No baby?' she asked. 'No son for Hugo?' Alys shook her
head,
not trusting her voice. The two women stared at each other for a
moment,
silenced with horror.
'Don't
tell him,' Catherine said. Her voice was cracked, near madness. 'Don't
tell him
that it was like this.'
Alys
found she was rubbing her hands together. The wax clotted into strips
as she
rubbed, and dropped away like dried skin. 'Damn it,' she said. 'Damn
the
stuff!'
'Don't
tell anyone it was like this,' Catherine said again, with more urgency.
'Tell
them it was a miscarriage. I don't want anyone to know about this. I
don't want
anyone to know of this... this horror!' Alys nodded slowly in silence.
'If
they know about this ...' Catherine broke off. Her eyes searched Alys'
downcast, horrified face. 'If they knew about this they would get rid
of me,'
she said, very low. 'They would say I am - unnatural.'
Alys
was wringing her hands, rubbing the foul wax away. It had clogged
between her
ringers. With quick, nervous movements she was picking at her
fingernails.
Catherine
stared at her. 'How could such a thing be?' she demanded. 'Alys? You
have seen
many births. How could such a thing happen?'
Alys
paused. The memory of the Catherine doll made of wax, with its round
belly made
of wax, and the little lumps of candlewax she had moulded to shape the
roundness of the belly was very vivid in her mind. She had coupled the
wax doll
of Catherine with the gross wax penis of the Hugo doll. She had
commanded the
doll, telling it that the baby would be the image of his father, his
candlewax
father. Morach's warning that 'sometimes they misunderstand' surfaced
in her
memory.
'I
don't know,' she said, her instinct to save herself conquering her
terror. 'It
must be some vile illness in you. It must be some corruption in your
body. You
are sterile and all you can conceive and all you can void is this muck.'
Catherine
barely flinched, she was so deep in horror. 'My fault,' she said slowly
as if
she were learning a lesson almost beyond her understanding. 'Something
wrong
inside me.'
'Yes,'
Alys said, careless of Catherine's foundering shame.
They
were silent again.
'Hide
it,' Catherine said. 'I want no one to know.' She glanced towards the
fire.
'Burn it.'
Alys
nodded. Catherine dragged herself up from the bed, gasping with the
effort, and
the two women pulled out the lower sheet, ripped it into half and then
ripped
it again. Each piece they rolled up and put on the little fire. It
smouldered
darkly, and when the wax caught fire it flickered and spat, burning
with an
ominous yellow flame. The smoke smelled like a tannery.
'Your
hair,' Catherine said, her voice shaky. 'And your face.'
Carefully
she picked the wax out of Alys' hair. Alys rubbed at the skin of her
face until
it was free of the little white scabs. She shuddered as she picked them
off her
skin. 'Your gown,' Catherine said.
Alys'
red sleeves were white to the elbows with the stuff, the front of her
gown was
spattered with white dots. Alys stood while Catherine undid her gown
and then
she stepped out of it. From Catherine's chest she took an old gown
which
Catherine had not worn since her pregnancy. Catherine laced her into it
silently. Alys took a clean sheet from where it was airing by the fire
and made
up the bed.
'They'll
have to come in and see you,' she said.
Catherine
nodded. 'They'll ask for the body,' she warned.
Alys
nodded. She took a bowl and poured in a little water, tore up a napkin
and tied
it into little knots, tossed in half a cup of red wine and threw the
rest on •
the bed. It spread in a deep red stain. Then she covered the bowl with
a cloth
from the table. 'No one will look too close at that,' she said. 'You
may get
away with it.'
Catherine
had gone a sickly yellow colour. ‘I feel faint,' she said.
Alys
nodded. 'See them, and then you can rest,' she said with scant
sympathy. 'How
do you think I feel? I am ready to vomit.' She went to open the door.
'Alys,'
Catherine stopped her. Alys turned.
'Swear
you will never tell anyone. Never anyone!' Catherine demanded.
Alys
nodded.
'Especially
not Hugo,' Catherine said. 'Swear to me that you will never tell Hugo
that I
had ...' she broke off. 'That I had a monster inside me,' she finished.
Alys'
face was hard. 'He will have to know that you cannot conceive,' she
said
tightly.
Catherine
paused. She looked at Alys at if she was seeing her for the first time,
reading
the coldness of Alys' grim face.
'Yes,'
Catherine said slowly.
'I
won't tell him that it was monstrous,' she said. 'He will never know
from me
that you voided lumps of white clay. Smelly lumps of clay.'
Catherine
dropped her eyes. 'I am ashamed,' she said, very low.
Alys
looked at her without pity. 'I will keep your secret,' she said. ‘I
won't tell
him about that.' She paused for Catherine's reply. When none came she
slipped
out of the door.
Hugo
was waiting nearest the door but at Alys' entrance everyone in the
crowded
gallery stopped talking and looked towards her. The old lord and David
came
towards her at once. Alys clasped her hands together and looked down.
'My
lord,' she said. 'Lord Hugo. I have some very sad news. The Lady
Catherine has
been brought to bed too early and she has lost the child.'
There
was a buzz of conversation and comment. Hugo's eyes burned into Alys'
face, his
father was as black as thunder.
'She
is
able to see you,' Alys said to Hugo. She met his look with one of
infinite
tenderness. ‘I am so sorry, Hugo,' she said. 'There was nothing anyone
could do
for Catherine. She was too sterile and sickly from the start.'
He
pushed past her and went into Catherine's room. The old lord came up
and took
Alys by the sleeve.
'What
caused the miscarriage?' he demanded. 'She came down to supper
yesterday, did
she overtax her strength?'
Alys
leaned her mouth towards his ear. 'The child would have been
malformed,' she
said. 'It's as well it is gone.'
The
old
lord looked as if he had been struck. 'God, no!' he said. 'No! A filthy
cripple
from my stock! And after all these years of waiting!'
'Can
she have another?' David the steward pressed close to Alys. 'In your
opinion,
Mistress Alys? Will Lady Catherine conceive again?'
Alys
met his gaze. 'I think not,' she said. 'You should summon a physician
perhaps
to judge. But in my mind I am certain. She can conceive no normal
child.'
The
old
lord slumped down into a chair, rested both his hands on his cane and
gazed
into the distance.
'This
is a bitter blow, Alys,' he said softly. 'A bitter blow. Catherine's
baby gone,
and her chances of another. All in one afternoon. A bitter blow.'
Catherine's
door opened again and Hugo came out. His face was set. The line between
his
eyebrows was deep, his mouth grim. 'She'll rest now,' he said. 'Someone
go and
sit with her.'
Eliza
and Ruth dipped a curtsey and slipped into the room.
'She
said she'd see you, Sir,' Hugo said to his father. 'She wanted to ask
your
blessing.'
'Blessing
be damned,' the old lord said, struggling to his feet and thumping his
cane on
the floor. 'I'll not see her. She's barren, my son! And she's wasted
more years
in this castle than I care to count. I'll see her when she's fertile.
No point
sitting by the sick bed of a barren woman. No point in a barren woman!
Twenty-three bastards I sired, to my knowledge; and three legitimate
children,
one son. I've never looked twice at a barren woman by my knowledge, and
I never
will.'
He
snapped his fingers for the page to open the door and stamped towards
it. The
people in the chamber drew back to let him pass, fearful of his rage.
'You,'
he said, pointing to Alys. 'Come to my room! I've got work to do!'
Then, as
Alys moved towards him, her belly thrust forward against the flowing
lines of
the gown, he checked himself. 'No, ' he said. ‘I had forgotten. Go and
rest yourself.
Go and sit down and sew or sing or something. But keep yourself well,
Alys.
'David!
Pick her out a maid to do her fetching and her carrying for her. And
see she
has a comfortable chair in her room. She must rest. She must rest. She
must
stay well. She's carrying Hugo's child. And see that she has what she
fancies
to eat. Get her whatever she
wants! Anything that she wants she must have!' David bowed, his quick,
sharp
smile raking Alys.
'Yes,
my lord,' he said. The old lord nodded. 'Keep her safe,' he said.
'No
more riding out for you, Alys, you must stay home in safety.'
He
looked at Hugo. 'Don't let her get as fat as the other one,' he said.
'That was
the problem there.
Keep
her like you would a good brood mare, well-fed but not gluttonous.
She's to sit
beside me at table every night so I can see what she eats.'
Hugo
nodded, unsmiling. 'As you wish, Sir,' he said coldly. ‘I am taking my
horse
out for a while. I am sick to my soul of these women's doings.'
The
old
lord nodded. 'Damn right,' he said irritably. 'All that talk and all
that
expense and then a barren sow at the end of it.'
The
two
of them left the room, Hugo clattering loudly down the stairs and
shouting for
his horse. Slowly, the serving-women and men and the off-duty soldiers
and the
pages straggled from the room, whispering as they left, whispering
slander,
scandal, ill-willed rumours. Alys stood in the centre of the room,
unmoving. As
everyone went out they dipped a low curtsey or a bow to her. Alys did
not smile,
did not acknowledge the homage beyond a curt nod of her head. Then
David and
Alys were alone.
'Is
there anything you would order for supper tonight, Mistress Alys?'
David asked
slyly.
‘I
will
have the best,' Alys said simply. ‘I will have the best of whatever
there is,'
she said. 'The very best of whatever there is.'
Catherine
woke in the night screaming and only Alys could soothe her. She was
sweating
from her nightmare and from a fever. Alys gave her a little of the
dried berries
of deadly nightshade and watched her till she fell asleep. Three times
Catherine's nightmares woke her -and all the ladies. Three times a
waiting-woman came and knocked on Alys' door and said that Lady
Catherine was
crying and carrying on and she must have Alys with her. The third time
Alys
gave her a fat pinch of sleeping powder in a cup of brandy-wine and
left her on
her back, snoring.
In the
morning Catherine was quiet and drugged. Hugo called in at her chamber.
She
held out her arms to him with the tears running down her fat face.
'You
must excuse me, Madam,' he said coldly. 'You have not been churched.'
Catherine
gave a gasp of disbelief and looked at his face. He was without pity.
'Hugo!'
she exclaimed. 'I am so grieved ...' He stepped back towards the door,
keeping
himself far from her as if she had the plague.
'You
are unclean,' he said precisely. 'I may not touch you. Alys will assist
you.'
'But I
thought you did not believe in that.. .' Catherine wailed. Hugo bowed
minimally
and passed out through the door, ignoring her, ignoring Alys. Alys
stepped back
to let him pass and shut the door behind him with quiet satisfaction.
The old
lord would not see Catherine at all, though she asked for him. He said
he was
too busy to come to the ladies' gallery. When Catherine was fulfilling
her
duties as the lady of the castle she could see him whenever she chose.
In the
meantime, he had no skills in the sick-chamber and could not wait on
her.
Catherine,
fallen from favour with both lords, wept again, sluggish, warm tears
which
rolled down her face.
'They
hate me because the baby died,' she whispered to Alys. They both hate
me
because the baby died.'
Alys
persuaded Catherine to eat some breakfast and sit up in bed and comb
her hair.
She did as she was told, like a lumpish child. But they could not stop
her
weeping. All the time, the waxy ooze dripped from between her legs,
staining
the sheets, and slow, oily tears rolled down her cheeks. She did not
sob, she
did not moan. She sat quietly and did whatever they asked of her. But
she could
not stop her tears.
Alys
sat with her until dinnertime and then went down to the great hall,
leaving
Ruth and Mistress Allingham to dine with Catherine in her chamber. She
entered
by the tapestry-covered door at the rear of the high table. As she let
the
curtain fall behind her and moved to her seat on the left hand of the
old
lord's chair she heard a ripple of approval from the men in the hall.
Now she
was the only woman carrying Hugo's child. She was the only hope for an
heir.
The women in the castle might fear her and resent her, and outside, in
the
shadow of the castle, they might talk sourly of witchcraft and the
young lord
hexed into madness and lust; but a son came before everything. Anything
would
be forgiven the woman who gave Hugo a son.
The
old
lord came in, his face grave, Hugo at his side. Alys stood behind her
chair
until they were seated and then took her place. She did not look at
Hugo. She
knew he was in a rage too deep to speak. She bent her head and broke
her bread.
Hugo would come round.
'I
shall need you to write some letters this afternoon,' the old lord
said. 'And
you shall sit in my chamber and read to me.'
Alys
inclined her head. 'Gladly, my lord,' she said.
He
grunted. 'Not too tired are you?' he asked. 'Sleep well?'
'I had
to attend Lady Catherine in the night,' Alys said, her voice neutral.
'She was
weeping and asked for me. I was called to her three times.'
Lord
Hugh waved his hand at David for the wine-server. 'Drink this,' he said
gruffly
to Alys. 'Drink deep. It'll give the baby good blood.'
He
paused. 'That must stop,' he said abruptly. 'Running around after the
barren
woman is too tiring for you. It must stop. Catherine can weep on
someone else's
shoulder.
'Hugo?'
Hugo raised his face from studying his hands clenched on the table
before him.
The old man nodded. 'You see to it. Tell Catherine she may not disturb
Alys.
Alys can't wait on her any longer. Alys must not get overtired.' Hugo
nodded.
'As you wish, Sire.' 'Aye, you're sour,' the old lord said gently.
'It's not to
be wondered at. Nine years waiting and then nothing. But I tell you
what, my
boy. Our wager still stands. If Alys gives you a son I'll give you a
thousand
pounds. One son is as good as another when there's no choice. You shall
still
have your fortune. How's that?'
‘I
thank you,' Hugo said. 'You are generous. But I wanted the money to
finance the
sailing of the ship. Alys' child will not be born until April. My
friend will
have found other, more eager backers by then.'
The
old
lord nodded, crumbled his bread thoughtfully. ‘I have some ideas I'll
broach
with you later, Hugo,' he said. 'You may find you have the money in
time. I
have a plan or two still in mind.'
Hugo
managed a cold, sulky smile. 'You are a great schemer,' he said.
The
old
lord nodded. 'Music!' he said sharply to David. 'And send for someone
to make
us laugh. We are sick with melancholy over nothing. A barren woman is a
disaster for no one but herself. Get me the new wine, the Flemish wine,
and
send to Castleton for tumblers or jugglers or a bear, for God's sake.
Even a
cockfight if there's nothing else to be had! I won't mourn for
Catherine. I
have new plans! Find someone to make me laugh!'
David
nodded and snapped his fingers to one of the pages. He tossed a silver
coin
high into the air and the lad leaped for it and snatched at it and
raced from
the hall, the dogs barking and snapping at his heels at the sudden
excitement.
Half a dozen men scrambled from the benches and fetched their
instruments,
started to tune them discordantly and cursed each other in their hurry.
Then
they started to play and the serving-wenches got up to dance, a circle
dance,
an old village dance. Alys, remembering the music from her childhood,
watched
them, her foot tapping.
'Dance
with them!' the old lord said. 'Take the ladies and dance with them!'
Alys
flashed him a smile and beckoned to Eliza and Margery. They broached
the circle
and then joined in. One of the girls danced in the middle while the
others
circled her, then she chose a partner and they led the others around in
pairs,
then the second girl danced alone in the centre of the circle. The
girls arched
their necks and tossed their heads, conscious of the watching men. They
stamped
their feet in time to the music and when they took the long sweeping
steps
around the circle they put their hands on their hips and swayed
seductively.
Alys, her fair hair flying, danced with one eye on Hugo. When it was
her turn
in the centre of the circle she danced and bobbed with her head held
up, her
colour high, and the proud curve of her belly thrust forward. When he
looked at
her she smiled confidently at him.
He
grinned, the blackness of mood lifted from him, the crease between his
eyebrows
vanished. With a word to his father he jumped down from the dais and
broke into
the circle. When the time came for Alys to choose a partner he stepped
forward
and there was a little ripple of applause. Following Hugo, the other
men from
around the hall stepped into the circle and danced too. The circle grew
too
wide for the space between the tables and broke into two circles, then
four.
The music grew louder and more insistent, the beat of the tambour more
and more
compelling. Alys, in her green gown, whirled in a spell of triumphant
sensuality, Hugo leaping and dancing around her. When the music stopped
in a
cascade of bells she fell into his arms and he swept her off her feet
and up to
the dais.
Catherine,
in her chamber above the hall, heard the music, the laughter, the
shouts of
applause for Alys, and the joyful thud of dancing feet. Sitting alone
in her
great bed with her dinner untasted before her she listened, while the
fat tears
rolled down her cheeks.
The
old
lord had a swathe of letters for Alys to write in the afternoon. She
sat at the
little table in the window, in her green gown with a green French hood
covering
her hair, a green shawl around her shoulders.
'You
are like a hayfield in springtime,' the old lord said. 'I like watching
you,
Alys.' She smiled at him, saying nothing. 'Now to work,' he said
briskly. He
sat erect in his chair, one hand outstretched leaning on his cane.
Without
looking at Alys he reeled off a list of the men who were to receive his
letters. Alys, dipping her quill into the inkpot, wrote as fast and as
clearly
as she could.
She
forced herself to keep writing at the rapid speed of the old lord's
speech. She
forced herself to keep translating his curt, idiomatic English into
classical
Latin. She forced herself to keep her head down, to play the part of
the loyal
clerk, the doltish scribe; while Lord Hugh begged support from all of
his
friends currently holding high places in the King's court for his son's
forthcoming divorce from his wife on the grounds of her being too close
kin.
Six
letters the old lord dictated, then he broke off. 'Father Stephen will
have to
write the letter to the Supreme Court,' he said. 'He will know how it
has to be
framed, the way the rhetoric has to be done, all of that clerkish
nonsense.'
'Will he do it?' Alys asked doubtfully. Lord Hugh shot her a wicked
grin. 'He
has no choice, my dear. He is in my hands. I have given him, free of
any
charge, all the benefices in my lands. He is a worldly man, an
ambitious man,
as well as a fervent churchman. He has hitched his star to my Hugo,
they are
two of a kind. Hugo's rise will carry him upward as well. He knows the
price -
he is my man at the church courts.'
'And
what will happen to Catherine?' Alys asked, her voice soft.
Lord
Hugh shrugged. 'Lord knows,' he said carelessly. 'If it were the old
days she
could have gone into a nunnery. Now I don't know. She has no family to
speak
of. I suppose I might find someone to marry her. A widower with sons
already
who can afford a barren wife might do. She's a personable enough woman,
and
warm in bed, Hugo says. I'll give some of her dowry back. Or I could
give her a
little household somewhere in my lands. She could take a couple of her
women
and some servants.' He nodded. 'As she wishes. She'll be free to do as
she
pleases. If she does not stand against me she'll find me generous.'
'Does
Hugo know of this?' Alys asked. The old lord shook his head. 'No; and
he's not
to know it from you either, my pretty wench. I'll tell him when I get
my
replies. If they're favourable we'll go ahead with this plan. Take
these
letters to David for me and tell him they're to be delivered at once.
The
messengers are to wait for the reply and come straight back. Tell him
I'll give
a silver shilling to every man who is prompt. And tell the messengers
to
neither eat nor drink within the city of London. There's plague in the
town
again, I don't want it brought back here.
'And
then go and lie down. Rest. If Catherine calls you, tell her it is my
wish that
you rest in the afternoons.' Alys nodded, gathered up the papers and
left.
She
had
not forgotten Mother Hildebrande. At noon, as Alys had smoothed her
hair,
looking in the mirror before going down to dinner, it was Mother
Hildebrande's
stern face she saw. She saw her mother, standing in the doorway of the
little
cottage, shading her eyes against the sun, looking downriver, scanning
the
riverside path, waiting confidently for the daughter she had found
again,
certain that she would come, trusting the strict training, the habit of
discipline, and - more than anything else - trusting the love which was
between
the two women. She would wait for an hour, her old legs and her tired
back
aching. The path would stay empty. She would be puzzled at first - Alys
the
novice nun had never been late for any lesson, never scuttled in after
the
others to chapel. Then she would be afraid for her daughter - fearing a
fall
from the horse, or an accident, or danger for Alys. Then she would turn
slowly
back into the damp cottage to sit by the empty fireplace and put her
hands
together and pray for the soul of Alys who had not come, though she was
bound
by every oath in the world to come; who had failed in her duty to her
God, who
had failed her mother, the only person left in the world who loved her.
Alys
could see Mother Hildebrande in her imagination when she heard the
ripple of
pleasure at midday dinner as she had come through the door to the hall,
with
her belly thrust forward, to take Catherine's place. When her food was
put
before her, Alys had a sudden vision of Mother Hildebrande struggling
with damp
firewood in Morach's cottage, and the dry taste of stale bread left
from
yesterday. Alys was aware of her when Hugo's dark scowl lightened and
he
drained his glass and jumped down to dance; even when his hand slid
down her
spine and rounded over her buttocks and Alys stood still and leaned
into his
caress, her long eyelashes sweeping down to hide the pretended arousal
in her
eyes.
When
she translated the letters, using the skills Mother Hildebrande had
taught her,
part of Alys' mind was still with the old woman. The sides of the
river-banks
were steep now the river was at its low - she would not be able to get
water.
When the bread from yesterday was gone there would be nothing to eat
unless she
climbed the hill and begged from passers-by on the road. Alys thought
of the
woman she had loved as a mother, with her hand held out to strangers
and her
quiet dignity insulted by pedlars.
Alys
gave the letters and the instructions to David, making special emphasis
of the
danger of London's plague, and went to her own room, shut the door,
kicked off
her shoes and lay down on her bed. She gazed upwards at the green and
yellow
tester like a ceiling above her head, elaborate, luxurious, expensive.
She
knew, as she had known from the moment when she sat at Mother
Hildebrande's
feet on Morach's dank earth floor, that she would not go back to live
in the
little hovel by the river. Alys would never again feel the
empty-bellied misery
of the poor in winter. Alys would never again break the ice on the
river to
pull out a bucket of stormy brown water. Alys would never again break
her
fingernails and bruise her hands scrabbling in frozen earth for icy
turnips.
Not if she could control her fate.
'I
can't go back,' Alys said aloud. 'I won't go back.'
She
thought of her mother, the woman she had longed for, whose loss had
grieved her
every day, and she found that the deep wound of pain had gone,
vanished. When
she thought of Mother Hildebrande now it was with fear of her
intrusion, it was
with irritation, it was with anxiety. Mother Hildebrande was no longer
a dead
saint to be mourned. She was a lively threat.
'She
should go away,' Alys said softly. 'She should go away to a proper
nunnery. I
would go with her if she would only go to a proper nunnery. Even now,
even with
Catherine being set aside and everyone recognizing Hugo as my lover,
and me as
the mother of the heir; I would go with her if she went to a proper
nunnery.'
Alys
paused. She thought of the peace and deep pleasure of her girlhood as
Mother
Hildebrande's favourite in the abbey by the river. She thought of the
quiet
lessons in Latin and Greek, of her pleasure in learning so quickly; of
being
the best. She thought of the still-room and the smell of the herbs and
the
tinctures. She thought of the herb garden and the raised beds and the
stalky
secret leaves of the herbs, of the smell of lavender when she rubbed it
in her
hands, of the feathery touch of sage, the tang of mint when she plucked
a stalk
and bit deeply.
Alys
shook her head, still staring at the tester and the bed curtains, but
seeing
the little girl with the fair hair who longed for peace and plenty and
who had
loved the Mother Abbess who had given her both.
'No,'
she said finally. 'No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't go with her, not even if
she went
to another abbey. That was the life of my girlhood, just as Morach was
the life
of my childhood. I will not go backwards to those old places. I am
finished
with them both. I wish they were both dead and gone.'
The
door opened without knocking and Hugo came in.
'Resting
like a lady, Alys?' he slurred, holding the door for support. He had
stayed in
the great hall after Alys and his father had left. The musicians had
played on
and on, the jugs of wine had gone around. The serving-wenches had come
out from
the kitchen and danced wildly. Hugo and the soldiers had drunk deep,
shouting
at the women, snatching one out of the circle and pulling her about.
While Alys
and the old lord had been working, writing and planning for the future,
Hugo
had been playing in the hall. There was no work for Hugo. He was an
idle child.
Alys
raised herself on one hand. 'Your father ordered me to rest,' she said
carefully.
Hugo
levered himself from the doorway, shut the door, and came sideways into
the
room, his feet hastening to keep up with him.
'Oh
yes,' he said nastily. 'You're his great favourite now, Alys, aren't
you?'
Alys
said nothing, measuring Hugo's drunkenness, judging his dampened-down
anger.
'God
knows why!' he exclaimed. 'Your damned country wise woman meddling lost
me my
child! Lost him his grandson! If we'd had a physician, a proper man who
had
studied and read these things, from York or from London, Catherine
would still
be carrying that child now! And I would get my money in the autumn, and
have an
heir to follow me.'
Alys
shook her head. 'The baby was sick,' she said. 'It would never have
gone full
term whoever you had waiting for the birth.'
Hugo's
dark eyes blazed at her. 'Wise woman nonsense,' he said roundly. 'You
swore to
me he was healthy. You swore to me it was a healthy boy. You are a liar
and a
cheat. And all the words you say to me are lies and cheats.'
Alys
shook her head, but said nothing, watching his anger rise and curdle to
malice.
'Get your gown off,' Hugo suddenly said. Alys hesitated.
'You
heard me,' Hugo snapped. 'Get your gown off. My gown, remember? The one
that
brought your tally of gowns up to Catherine's dozen. The one you begged
for
like a whore.'
Alys
stood up and unfastened the gown, slipped it off, hung it carefully
over the
foot of the bed, opened the cold linen sheets and slid into bed,
watching Hugo
all the time.
Hugo
undid his codpiece, untied his knitted hose, dragged them down. 'Here,'
he
said. 'Was it our romp that made Catherine lose the baby?'
Alys
shook her head. 'No,' she said, hiding her apprehension of Hugo's
temper. His
sexuality, which had been in the palm of her hand, had escaped her. He
had
looked at the girl in the hayfield and desired her. He had taken Alys
without
her consent, and revelled in having her and Catherine at once, as if
they were
two of a kind: two slavish women. He had humbled Alys as if she were
nothing
more than his whore - a toy for Catherine. He had freed himself from
Alys'
dominance and now he could use her as he wished.
He
clambered on the bed and kneeled over Alys. His breath was thick with
wine and
onions from dinner. He kissed her, kneading her breasts roughly with
his hands.
Alys felt her muscles tensing and the warm dampness between her legs
drying and
cooling.
'I
took
you like a whore then,' he said.
Alys
closed her eyes and put her arms around his neck in a loveless charade
of
desire.
'You
loved it,' Hugo said. 'All women are whores at heart. You, Catherine,
the
yellow-haired girl at haymaking. All whores.'
'I am
not,' Alys asserted. 'I am carrying your child, I am the only woman who
can
carry your child. And I can enchant you, Hugo. Have you forgotten how
you feel
when my sisters come to me?'
Hugo
shook his head. 'It's a wife I need, not a scheming witch,' he said
angrily.
'It's a legitimate son I need, not a bastard child from a woman with no
name,
with no family. I don't know how to command my life any more. I look at
Catherine
and think how mad she is for me, and I look at you and think how mad I
was for
you. And it's all worthless. It's a mess. All the things I need escape
me. All
the things I truly want are forbidden me. All I can do is play mad
games with
you, and get a son on you who will be of no good to anyone, and serve
nothing
but my private pride.'
'You
could command your life,' Alys said cautiously. Hugo was soft with
drink,
irritable. Alys felt him thrust against her ineffectually. His hand
went down
and he fumbled against Alys' cold refusing dryness.
'If
Catherine were gone,' Alys said quickly, 'and I had a son, your son,
and
instead of thinking of me as a whore and trying to reduce me to your
whore, you
saw me as I am - a woman of great power. I need no family behind me, no
name. I
need bring no fortune with me. My skills and my power are all the dowry
any man
would desire. We could be married -just as I dreamed. And your house,
your new
and lovely house, would be our house, and our son's house. And we could
live in
the new way, as you wished, together.' 'And have more sons,' Hugo said
with
drunken enthusiasm. He thrust once more at her. Alys felt him, flabby
and damp,
against the tightly closed muscles of her body. She could smell him,
the thick,
clotted smell of his linen. Her teeth gritted with distaste.
'Yes,
we could have more sons,' she said. 'You would be the sire of a line.
Legitimate sons.'
'More
sons than my father had! More sons than my grandfather had!' Hugo
babbled. 'I
am sick of what they are saying about me - that I cannot father a
child. We'll
marry and move to the new house and have a hundred sons.'
'Marry?'
Alys asked softly, ready to spring a trap of a verbal betrothal on
Hugo. A
promise of marriage was the most binding promise of all, an honourable
man
could not withdraw. 'Do you ask me to marry you?'
'Hundreds
of sons!' Hugo said, with a sudden swing to drunken cheeriness.
'Hundreds of
them.'
'Shall
we marry?' Alys whispered insidiously. 'Marry and have legitimate sons.
Do you
want to marry me, Hugo?'
For a
moment she thought he would answer her, and she would have his word of
honour
and a chance to blackmail him with his own meticulous code. But he gave
a sigh
and pitched forward on his face, buried his way into the pillows and
started
snoring.
Alys
slithered out from underneath him, threw a rug around her bare
shoulders and
pulled over a chair to the hearth. She watched the flames. 'Odin,' she
said,
thinking of the blank runes. 'Death of the old way and the birth of the
new.
The old lives have to die. The old precious loves have to make way.
There has
to be a death.'
A log
shifted and flamed, its yellow light flickering into Alys' face making
her look
entranced, witchy. 'Death of the old ways,' she said again. 'There has
to be a
death.'
She
sat
in silence for a moment.
'A
death,' she said softly. 'Not my death, not Hugo's, not the old lord's.
But
there has to be a death. The old loyalties must be changed. The old
loves must
die.'
She
said nothing more for a long while but watched the flames in silence.
Alys knew
that the runes were foretelling a death - she hoped to buy them off
with a
symbolic death of her old love and her old loyalty. But in her most
secret
heart Alys knew that the runes would want blood.
'Not
my
blood,' she said softly.
When
Hugo woke he was clear-headed and anxious to be off hunting. Alys
helped him on
with his doublet, patted the thick padded back and shoulders and pulled
the
rich silk lining through the slashings on the sleeves and chest. Even
with the
shadows under his eyes from the drink and the dark haze on his chin,
Hugo
looked very fine. Alys did not correct him when he assumed that he had
made
love to her. She walked with him to the door of the ladies' gallery and
watched
him run lightly down the stairs, then she nodded to Eliza sitting at
the fire.
'Bring
me Catherine's writing desk,' she said and took a stool with them.
Mistress
Allingham was sewing the long tapestry they had been working ever since
Alys
came to the castle. Catherine's mother and her women had started it,
Catherine
and her ladies had worked it. Alys fancied that she and her women would
be
working it long after Catherine had left the castle in disgrace. It was
only a
quarter completed. Idly Alys pulled out the folds and looked at the
intricate
bright colours of the design. 'Where are Ruth and Margery?' she asked.
'Gone
out to the garden,' Mistress Allingham replied. 'Lady Catherine is
sleeping,
but she was asking for you after dinner.'
Alys
shrugged. 'I was with Lord Hugh,' she said. 'Catherine cannot have me
at her
beck and call.'
Mistress
Allingham raised her thin eyebrows but said nothing.
Eliza
brought Catherine's ivory writing desk. A quill stood ready in the
matching pot
of ink, there were smooth sheets of paper and a short candle for the
sealing
wax, with some scraps of ribbon. Alys took it on to her lap with
satisfaction,
touched everything, smoothed the paper, brushed her fingertip against
the
feathers of the quill.
She
took up the pen and wrote. ‘I am sending these things to you by
messenger
because I cannot come today as I intended. Lady Catherine at the castle
is ill
and I am commanded to care for her. For your safety and my own I will
not
endanger us nor bring us to their attention by insisting otherwise. I
will come
as soon as I can. Say nothing to the messenger. Send me no reply. I
will come
as soon as I can.
When
she had finished writing she folded the paper three times and dripped
sealing-wax in three puddles along the join, pressing the little seal
into each
one. The seal was a miniature version of Hugo's family crest, used by
the
ladies of his family for generations. Alys carefully drew an elegant
'A'
underneath each seal and then let it dry.’
'What
are you writing?' Eliza asked, unable to contain her curiosity any
longer.
'There
is a new wise woman come to Morach's old cottage,' Alys said. ‘I don't
know who
she is or where she comes from. But I am sending her some things. When
my own
time comes I shall need a wise woman to deliver my child. If she is
skilled and
good-natured I shall summon her.'
The
one
at Richmond has a fine reputation for childbirth,' Mistress Allingham
offered.
Alys
nodded. Then I will send a gift to her too,' she said. 'It is well to
be
prepared.’
'It
couldn't happen to you, could it?' Eliza nodded towards Catherine's
door where
Catherine lay asleep in bed, tears sliding out from under her closed
eyelids,
her sheets soaked with white, creamy slurry. Alys shook her head.
'They
are saying that it is a weakness in Hugo,' Eliza volunteered. 'That he
cannot
get a woman with child and that if he does the child does not take.'
Mistress
Allingham pursed her lips. 'This miscarriage is like none I have ever
seen
before,' she said. 'Lady Catherine does not bleed.'
Alys
lowered her voice to match theirs. 'There is a corruption in her
humours,' she
said. 'Remember how the child was conceived. She is always too hot or
too cold.
I did what I could to bring her into balance but the child was
conceived in
heat and dryness and lost in damp and coldness. I can make Catherine
well, but
I cannot change her nature. No one can make her fertile. No one can
make her
clean.'
'Then
he'll put her aside,' Eliza hissed, her face alert. Alys nodded and put
a
finger across her lips. The two women exchanged one bright look. 'And
you
carrying his child!' Eliza noted. Alys smiled at her and got to her
feet,
shaking out the folds of the bright green gown. 'And you said I was
falling,'
she reminded Eliza. 'You were taunting me with falling low. You called
me a
whore.'
Eliza
flushed red. 'I beg your pardon,' she said. 'I spoke wrongly to you,
Alys . ..
Mistress Alys. I spoke too freely, and I was mistaken.'
Alys
nodded. She went to her chamber and took the old dark blue gown from
her chest,
the gown the old lord had given her from the leavings of his whore Meg.
Alys
shook out the folds. It would drape around Mother Hildebrande - she had
grown
so slight and stooped. But it was made of good thick wool and would
keep her
warm, even in that damp cottage. Alys folded it up and went downstairs
through
the deserted great hall, to the kitchen.
The
place was quiet. The cooks and servers had slipped out to Castleton, to
lie in
the fields by the river, to visit friends, to carouse with the off-duty
soldiers. The kitchen-lad was there, dozing by the spit he turned all
day.
There was a big cooked haunch of beef on the spit, left from dinner.
'Wake
up,' Alys said peremptorily. He was on his feet in a second, rubbing
his eyes
with one grimy hand. When he saw Alys he shrank back.
Alys
smiled at him. 'I am sending some food to a wise woman on the moors,
and a
gown,' she said. 'You may take it for me. You may ride my mare out.'
The lad
blinked.
'Put
together a basket of everything you can find which is good to eat,'
Alys said.
'A big cut off that joint, bread, fruit, some sweetmeats and a pitcher
of
wine.' The lad hesitated.
'Go
on,' Alys said. ‘I will tell the cook I ordered it.' He nodded and went
to one
of the beams where a dozen baskets were hanging. He lifted one down and
went to
a larder set against the cool outside wall of the castle.
Alys
looked around her. The floor was strewn with herbs. Dried and old, they
had not
been changed for months. Some hens and a cockerel pecked around on the
floor,
their white and moss-coloured droppings marked the stone slabs. The
fire on the
other side of the room smouldered around a great trunk of pine. It
would be
stoked up for supper and then banked in overnight. One side of the
kitchen wall
was a block of stone with half a dozen hollowed sinks for burning
charcoal to
scald sauces and heat little pans. Everything around it was covered
with a
light coating of black dust.
There
were no locks on the cupboards. Every storeroom was open, the flesh
room, the
fish room, the confectionery room. Even the ale cellar was open. Alys
thought
of Hugo's plan to move to his new house and cast off the free-living
retainers,
and saw something of the savings he would make.
'Get a
jug of wine with a stopper,' she said. 'The best wine.'
The
lad
came out of the larder, the basket filled with food: half a round
cheese, two
loaves of bread, a cut of the meat, a bowl of early cherries, a thick
slice of
ham, a pot of almond paste with currants. 'There's a pot of bucknade,'
he
offered. It was one of Mother Hildebrande's favourite dishes but she
would not
eat meat on a saint's day or a holy day. Alys could not remember the
church
calendar which had once been so familiar to her.
'No,'
she said. 'Is there any blanche mange?' Blanche mange was mashed
chicken or
rabbit, sweetened with honey and served with a pinch of sandalwood to
make it
pink. Mother Hildebrande would eat white meat on a fast day if they
could get
no fish. The lad nodded and went to the larder, filled a pewter bowl
and came
back into the main kitchen tying a coarse linen napkin over the mouth
of the
bowl.
He put
the basket on the table and then went to the wine cellar for the wine.
It was
stored in huge casks, chocks hammered in underneath one end so the wine
flowed
downwards to the tap. Alys could hear the wine pouring
into the jug, then the lad came back into the roasting kitchen, pushing
the
stopper home and wiping the jug on his smock. Alys took it from him,
folded the
gown around it to keep it safe in the basket and then led the way to
the
stables.
The
simple lad was there, sprawled on a hay bale in the sunshine, picking
his teeth
with a straw.
'Put a
saddle on my mare,' Alys said to him. This boy is doing an errand for
me.'
He
jumped to his feet and nodded, grinning and laughing at her.
'And
see him through the gate,' Alys said. 'He is carrying those goods on my
orders.'
She
handed the letter to the spit-boy. 'Give this to the old woman,' she
said. 'She
will not harm you.' She paused for a moment, waited for him to feel her
power.
'You may not speak with her,' she said slowly, impressively. 'If she
speaks to
you say nothing. Just shake your head. She will think you are mute. You
may not
say one word to her.'
The
boy
nodded. 'Not one word,' Alys said slowly, softly. 'And do not wander on
the way
or eat the food. I shall know if you deliver less than you set out
with. I
shall know if you have disobeyed me and spoken with her.' He shook his
head and
gulped nervously. 'Do you know where the wise woman of Bowes Moor
lives?' Alys
asked. 'The cottage by the river, before you come to the stone bridge?'
The lad
nodded.
'Take
these goods there,' Alys said. She drew the letter out and tucked it
down the
side of the basket so it was completely hidden. 'This letter too. Don't
show it
to anyone and don't lose it. I shall know if you do.'
The
lad
nodded again.
Alys
smiled at him. 'When you return this afternoon I shall give you a
sixpence,'
she said.
The
boy
looked at her.
'Yes?'
Alys asked.
'Could
I have instead a scrap of ribbon of yours?' he asked. 'Or something you
don't
need. An old kerchief?'
'Why?'
Alys asked.
He
dropped his gaze to the floor. 'To ward off beatings,' he said. 'In the
kitchen
they say that you have the power to get anything you want. That you can
do
anything you like. I thought if I had a relic of yours ...'
Alys
shook her head. 'I am just an ordinary woman,' she said. 'A healer with
special
skills, holy skills. Nothing of mine is a talisman. I am just a healer
with
holy powers. I do nothing for my own ends.'
The
lads exchanged one secret, disbelieving look. Alys chose to ignore it.
'Be as
quick as you can,' she said, walking from the stable yard. 'And send
word to me
when you are safe back.'
Despite
Alys' careful instructions, Hildebrande sent a letter back with the
kitchen-lad. It was written on coarse paper, the back of a bill from an
inn
with a stub of lead. It was unsealed. Alys' lips compressed when she
saw it.
Anyone could have read it on its journey to her and she would not even
know. It
was typical of Hildebrande to care nothing for their safety, she
thought. The
woman was mad for martyrdom, rushing towards exposure and danger. She
had been
so long out of the world she had no idea of the dangers, the peril she
was
forcing on Alys. Alys gave the lad the sixpence she had promised and
tucked the
letter into her sleeve. She went out into the herb garden to read it.
The
warm evening sun gilded the enclosed garden. Surrounded by the castle
walls,
the garden was sheltered from wind, a trap for heat. Drowsy bees
stumbled from
plant to plant. Alys walked down the narrow paths, her green gown
brushing
against the herbs, releasing their scent. Ahead of her, in the flower
garden,
Ruth and Margery were sitting in the shade of a bower. They glanced
towards
Alys but did not approach her. The bakehouse to Alys' left was quiet
and cold.
The old round prison tower behind it was silent. Alys perched on the
walled
edge of a bed of mint and let the sun beat down on her uncovered head.
The
purple flowers sweated their scent into the still air. In the orchard
beyond
the flower garden there were birds singing piercingly sweet. Beyond the
orchard, in the outer manse, a horse whinnied in greeting.
Alys
slid the letter from her sleeve, and spread it on her knees to read.
'Dear
Daughter in Christ,' Hildebrande had begun, incriminating Alys in the
first
three words. Alys glanced around. There was no one near. She tore off
the top
of the letter before even looking at the rest, scrumpled it in her
hands,
pushing her sharp fingernails through the soft paper, shredding it as
she
stuffed every scrap into her purse.
‘I do
not discuss with you the reasons for your delay. There can be no
reasons for
delay when the will of the Lord is plain to us. Tell Lady Catherine to
be of
good heart and trust in Our Lady who knows her pains well. You may
visit her
later and care for her. I expect you this evening.
There
was a gap in the writing, then, in a more rounded hand as if the mother
was
speaking to her daughter, not the abbess to a disobedient nun, the
letter went
on:
Please
come at once, Ann. I am fearful not for myself though I am weary and I
cannot
light the fire or draw water, I am fearful for you. What are you doing
in that
castle which makes you so slow to obey?
'I
knew
she would not know how to light the fire,' Alys said irritably. She
smoothed
the letter out on her lap. In the sunlight of the garden, Hildebrande
aching
with arthritis, struggling with a tinderbox, too frail and too old to
lug a
bucket of water up to the cottage from the steep river-bank, seemed a
long way
away.
Alys
scrunched the paper into a ball in her hand and thrust it into her
purse to
burn later, then she stretched out her legs before her. The green gown
fell
elegantly around her. Alys turned her face up to the sunlight and
closed her
eyes.
'You
will turn brown, Mistress Alys, brown as a peasant,' a voice said
softly.
Alys
opened her eyes. David the steward stood before her, at his side was a
young
woman of about sixteen. She was fair, golden-headed; her hair brighter
than
Alys', her eyes a lighter, more sparkling blue. Her body was full; Alys
noticed
the tightness of the bodice over her firm young breasts and the
shortness of
the skirt of her gown as if she were still growing.
'This
is Mary,' David said, gesturing to the girl. 'She is to be your maid,
as Lord
Hugh ordered.'
Alys
nodded, staring at the girl. The girl looked back, taking in every inch
of
Alys' gown, her long golden-brown hair, her green hood.
'Has
she
been in service long?' Alys asked coldly. 'All her life,' David said
promptly.
'She was serving in a tradesman's house in Castleton. She caught my eye
because
she is bright and quick. I thought she would suit you. I didn't want
one of the
drabs from the kitchen to wait on you. They are as slow as oxen and as
dull.'
Alys
nodded again.
'You're
very pretty,' she said to the girl; she made it sound like an insult.
'How old
are you?' 'Sixteen, my lady,' the girl answered. 'You call her Mistress
Alys,' David
corrected sharply. 'Mistress Alys is not the lady of the castle. She is
Lady
Catherine's woman only.'
Alys
gave David a look which would scratch glass. 'Since she is to be my
maid I
suppose she can call me what she pleases, as long as it pleases me.'
The
dwarf shrugged his strong shoulders. 'As you wish, Mistress Alys.'
'Are
you betrothed or married?' Alys asked the girl. 'No, my lady,' she said
breathlessly. 'I am a virgin.' Alys shot a hard, suspicious look at
David. He
smiled blandly at her.
'You
can wait in the ladies' gallery until I send for you,' Alys said
abruptly. The
girl dipped a curtsey and went into the castle.
David
remained. He took a pinch of lavender and sniffed it, savouring the
smell,
demonstrating his ease and comfort.
'She
is
very beautiful for a peasant girl,' Alys observed.
'Yes,
indeed,' David replied.
'Very
like the girl in the field who took Hugo's flowers at haymaking.'
'Her
sister, actually,' David said. He squinted up at the blue sky. 'Very
like her,
now I come to think of it,' he said thoughtfully.
Alys
nodded. 'Do you think to supplant me with some plump sweeting, David?
Do you
think Hugo would put me aside for a sudden fancy, when I carry his
child and he
has been besotted with me for months?'
David
opened his eyes in amazement. 'Of course not, Mistress Alys! I merely
obeyed
Lord Hugh. He said you should have a maid of your own, my task it was
to find
you one. If she is not to your liking I can send her away. I will tell
the
young lord that the maid I suggested was too pretty for your liking,
and I will
find some plain old woman. It is no trouble at all.'
'It is
no matter,' Alys said abruptly. 'I am not afraid, David. You can bring
a
hundred such as her and throw them into Hugo's path. They will not
conceive his
child.
They
will not take my place. They may amuse him but they will not sit at the
high
table. D'you think the old lord will prefer a village wench to me?' She
laughed
sharply, enjoying the small man's angry face. ‘I will employ the girl.
She can
do my sewing for me and run errands.'
'Up to
Bowes Moor perhaps?' David asked quickly. 'To see the new arrival
there?
Another wise woman, in your old cottage. Who is she, Alys? Another
kinswoman
who is no kin at all? Or Morach returned from the dead?'
'Hardly
a ghost!' Alys said, swiftly recovering from the change of tack. 'No,
it is a
travelling wise woman who has a fancy to stay at the cottage. I sent
her some
goods and a message because I shall need a wise woman in the spring,
when my
time comes. Either she or the one at Richmond will have to come out to
me.'
‘I
see.' David turned to go. Alys breathed out in relief at having come
through
his questioning so well.
'And
why should the kitchen-boy pretend to be mute?' David asked. 'Why could
he not
speak to her? Does she know secrets that she might share if someone
asked her?'
Alys
laughed aloud, a note as blithe as the birdsong from the orchard. 'Oh,
the
silly lad!' she exclaimed. ‘I ordered him not to tire her with his
chatter, nor
eat the food on the way, nor stop to play with his friends. And next
thing he
thinks he has to act like one struck dumb! I wish I had been there to
see him
acting like a mute simpleton!'
David
smiled thinly. 'He is a fool that boy.' He nodded his head to Alys and
left
her. Alys watched him go, her face stiff with her unconcerned smile
until he
was gone.
The
sun
was burning on her back. Alys felt flushed, her thick mane of hair made
her
neck and her head hot. She was sweating. Her green gown was strapped
too tight,
the stomacher too stiff. She went indoors for the cool and the shade.
As she
climbed the stairs to the ladies' gallery she felt a deep weight of
pain in her
head and the skin behind her ears tightened on her skull like pincers.
Mary
was in Alys' bedchamber, straightening the counterpane on the bed,
gawking out
of the window.
'Everything
so fine, my lady!' she exclaimed as Alys came in. 'So fine and so
pretty!'
'Unlace
me,' Alys said, turning around. The girl unfastened the stomacher and
then the
gown and caught them as Alys slid them off and let them fall. 'I have a
headache,' Alys said. 'Close the shutters over the window and go and
sit in the
ladies' gallery. I want to be alone. Call me an hour before supper.'
'I'll
put your gown away,' Mary said. She took the green gown and moved
towards the
chest of Alys' herbs and oils.
'Not
that one,' Alys said sharply. 'I am a herbalist, a healer. I keep all
my
medicines in there. You must never go to that chest. You must never
touch it.
Some of the tinctures are very delicate and they would spoil if anyone
but me
touched them. The other chest is for my clothes.'
The
girl bobbed a curtsey and folded Alys' gown carefully into the chest.
She shut
it with a bang. 'Sorry, my lady,' she said. Alys lay back on the
pillows and
closed her eyes. 'I was told to tell you that Lady Catherine wanted to
see
you,' the girl suddenly said. 'I forgot to tell you at once.'
'Tell
her I have a headache and I am resting,' Alys said, without opening her
eyes.
'I will come to her at suppertime.'
Mary
bobbed another curtsey and went out. The draught from the open windows
of the
gallery caught the door and banged it shut. Alys winced. Through the
door she
could hear Mary speaking to Eliza.
'My
Lady Alys is lying down,' she said. 'She will see Lady Catherine at
suppertime.'
Even
in
her pain Alys smiled. 'My Lady Alys,' she said to herself. 'My Lady
Alys.' Alys
knew she had to see Hildebrande. She could not trust anyone in the
castle with
messages - David's information was too precise, too accurate. He knew
everything that went on within the castle and without. She dared not
send
another message, she could trust no one. And Hildebrande, the fool, was
as
capable of sending a verbal command as an unsealed letter. She sat by
the old
lord at supper and picked at the food on her plate.
'You
are not eating, Alys,' he said at once. 'Are you unwell?'
Alys
summoned a smile. 'A little sickly, my lord,' she said. 'And I have run
out of
the powders I need.'
'Someone
shall get you whatever you need,' he said. 'They can get them
immediately. It
is bad for the baby if the mother does not eat. You shall have whatever
you
want.'
Alys
shook her head. 'I need some powdered bark from an elm tree,' she said.
'It's a
special tree I know. I could not direct anyone to it; it grows in a
copse by
the river at the foot of the moor. There must be a dozen elm trees
there. Only
I know which one I use.'
'Do
you
wish to go out there?' the old lord asked. ‘I would send you in a
litter. It is
not safe for you to ride.'
'I
would do well on a mule,' Alys said. 'I would not fall, and I would not
do more
than a walk. No harm could come to me or the child. And I do indeed
need the
powders.'
'A
couple of the men-at-arms shall go with you,' Lord Hugh decided. 'And
your new
maid. David said he has brought you a bonny wench who was anxious to
serve you.
You could go tomorrow morning and be back by dinner.'
'Yes,'
Alys said. 'Or we could take our dinner with us. It should be fine
again
tomorrow, and then I will not have to hurry. I do not want to have to
trot or
canter.'
'No,
no,' the old lord said hastily. 'Take all day if you wish, Alys, as
long as you
are safe. Stay out of the bright sunlight and take care that you do not
overtire yourself.'
'Very
well,' Alys said agreeably. 'As you desire, my lord.'
Hugo
did not come to the ladies' gallery nor to Alys' room that night. Mary,
the new
maid, slept in Alys' room on a little truckle bed which rolled out on
wooden
wheels from underneath the big bed. Alys lay in the darkness listening
to
Mary's steady breathing with rising irritation. At midnight she shook
her awake
and told her to go and bed down in the gallery. 'I cannot sleep with
you in the
room.'
'Very
well, my lady,' the girl said. Her fair hair was tousled into ringlets,
her
cheeks rosy. She blinked owlishly at Alys, still half asleep. Her
shift, open
at the neck, showed the inviting curves of her breasts.
'Go,'
Alys said irritably. 'I shall not sleep until I am alone.'
'I'm
very sorry, my lady,' Mary said. She went as quietly from the room as
she
could, picking her way in the darkness. She closed Alys' door with
silent care
and then clattered into a stool in the gallery. Then there was silence.
Alys
rolled over and slept for the rest of the night.
In the
morning she ordered Mary to bring her ale and bread and cheese, and ate
it
sitting up alone in the great bed. She told Mary to pour hot water into
a ewer
and bring it to her, and to warm a bath sheet before the fire for Alys
to dry
herself. Mary went to the chest of gowns.
'The
brown gown,' Alys said. 'And the black stomacher and the black gable
hood.'
When
she was dressed she looked at herself in the hand-mirror. The stomacher
flattened her belly and her breasts into one smooth board. Hildebrande
would
not see the curve of her pregnancy. The old-fashioned gable hood rested
low on
her forehead at the front and covered her hair completely at the back.
The
brown gown was a rich, warm russet, elegantly cut - but as unlike the
cherry-red gown of Meg the whore as any Alys owned.
'Can
you ride?' she asked Mary as they came down the stairs.
Mary
nodded. 'My father once owned a little farm,' she said.
'He kept many horses. He bred them for the gentry.'
'Does
he have it no longer?' Alys asked, leading the way
through the inner gate, across the drawbridge, and across
the other manse to the stables.
Mary
shook her head. 'They were lands belonging to the abbey,' she said.
'When the
abbey was wrecked the land was bought from the King by my Lord Hugh.
The rents
were too high for us, we had to leave.'
'What
does your father do now?' Alys asked idly. Mary shook her head. 'The
loss of
his farm was like death to him,' she said. 'He does a few jobs -
shearing in
summer, haymaking. Digging in winter. Most of the time he is idle. They
live
very poor.'
'You
can ride my pony,' Alys said. 'I'll take a mule. We can swap when we
are out of
sight of the castle. Lord Hugh worries too much about my safety.'
Mary
nodded, and the stable-lad led the horses out. She mounted easily,
shaking out
the skirts of her grey gown with as much grace as if she were noble
enough to
wear colours. The lad whistled at her and Mary tossed back her blonde
ringlets
and smiled at him. Alys was lifted to the mule's back and kicked the
animal
into a walk.
Two
men-at-arms joined them as they passed through the gateway into
Castleton. One
walked before them, one behind.
They
went briskly over the bridge and up the hill. The sun was bright on the
straight, pale road before them, it would be another hot day. Alys,
feeling the
weight of the gable hood and the heat of the cloth on her neck, looked
enviously at Mary who sat easily and confidently on the mare, looking
all
around her at the rye turning yellow in the fields, and the pale green
of the
wheat.
'Harvest
soon,' she said pleasantly. 'It's been a good year for grains. And
it'll be a
good autumn for fruit, my father says.'
'Pull
up, ' Alys said abruptly. 'I'll ride my own horse now.'
Mary
stopped and the soldiers helped the two women exchange mounts. They
rode on in
silence as the road climbed higher and higher and the fields gave way
to rough
pasture land - good for nothing except sheep -and then they were out in
the thick
heather-purple haze of the open moorland. The hills around them
stretched
forever into the distance, the sky above them arched like a massive
bowl of
blue. Larks spiralled upwards, singing and singing. Over a cliff face
on the
right-hand side, broad-winged buzzards hung effortlessly on the warm
air.
Higher still above them was a circling dot in the sky, a golden eagle.
The
river was gone, hidden underground as if it had secrets too dark for
the
sunshine. The hard, white limestone river bed threw back the light of
the sun
in a stony glare. Alys was glad when they rode into the green shadow of
the
coppice.
'You
can sit here and eat your dinners,' she said to the three of them. 'I
am going
deeper into the wood for the bark of a special tree. Wait here for me.
I may be
some time, I will have to find the best tree and cut the bark. Don't
come
searching for me, I shall be perfectly safe and I don't want to be
disturbed.'
The
two
soldiers hesitated. 'Lord Hugh said to keep you safe,' one of them
objected.
Alys
smiled at him. 'What could harm me here?' she asked. 'There is no one
on the
road and no one in this wood. I was brought up here, I know these parts
better
than anyone. I shall be safe. I shall not be far. I shall hardly go out
of
earshot. Rest here until I return.'
She
rode down the slope, her mare stepping carefully over the roots in the
path,
and drew rein when she was out of sight. She waited for long moments.
No one
was following. Alys turned the horse's head upstream and kicked her
into a trot
and then into a canter along the grassy bank of the river and up to
Morach's
cottage. Mother Hildebrande was sitting in the doorway, her tired old
face
turned to the sun as if she were soaking in the warmth. She opened her
eyes
when she heard the noise of the pony and stood up, hauling herself up
the frame
of the door.
Alys
dismounted, tied the pony to the hawthorn bush, and stepped over the
sheep
stile.
'Mother,'
she said. She glanced around swiftly. The open moorland all around the
cottage was
bare and empty. Alys knelt on the threshold and Mother Hildebrande
rested her
trembly hand on Alys' head and blessed her.
'You
are come at last, daughter,' Mother Hildebrande said.
Alys
stood up. There was determination in the old woman's eyes.
‘I
cannot stay,' Alys said gently. 'Not yet. That is what I came to tell
you.'
The
old
woman eased herself down on the stool at the doorstep. Alys sat at her
feet.
Mother Hildebrande said nothing. She waited.
'I am
not unwilling,' Alys said persuasively. 'But Lady Catherine is ill,
near to
death, and no one there can care for her. She has miscarried her child
and is
scouring with a dreadful white fluid which they say is a curse upon her
and
upon Lord Hugh's house for the sacrilege of destroying our nunnery. A
holy
woman is needed there. She needs me to protect her from fear. No one
knows what
to do. She is mortally afraid and for no fault of her own. I cannot
believe
that our merciful Lord would want me to abandon her. And anyway, they
would not
let me go. Even now I am only released from the castle to fetch some
herbs and
some elm bark for her.' Mother Hildebrande said nothing. She sat very
still,
watching Alys' clear profile as Alys sat at her feet, leaned back
against her
knees as she always used to sit -and lied.
'The
old lord is tender with my beliefs,' Alys said urgently. 'He does not
care
which faith he follows. But his son is a Protestant, an unbeliever. It
was he
who wrecked our abbey, and now he is turning his attention to every
religious house
for miles around. His father is Sheriff of the County but it is Hugo
who rides
out and does the King's sacrilege. He believes in nothing, he trusts
nothing.
He hates the true faith and he captures and imprisons believers. If he
knew you
were here - the Mother of an Order he had wrecked - he would hunt you
down and
hurt you until you were driven to deny your faith.'
Mother
Hildebrande looked at her steadily. 'I do not fear him,' she said
gently. 'I
fear nothing.'
'But
what good does it do?' Alys demanded passionately. 'What good does it
do to
risk danger, when with a little care and caution and delay you could
get away
to safety? Isn't that the Lord's work? To get to safety so that you can
live
according to His laws again?'
Mother
Hildebrande shook her head. 'No, Sister Ann,' she said. 'Saving your
own skin
is not the Lord's work. You are speaking with the persuasive voice of
the
world. You are speaking of clever practice and winning by deceit. The
way we
are promised is not that way. The Lord's work is to proclaim Him in
words and
to demonstrate Him in our lives. I have never been skilled with words,
I have
never been a clever woman; but I can be a wise woman. I can be a woman
who can
show by her life a lesson which a more learned woman would write in a
book. I
cannot argue truths - but I can demonstrate them. I can live my life,
and die
my death, as if there were some things which matter more than clinging
to goods
and staving off death.' 'It is not wise to die!' Alys exclaimed. Mother
Hildebrande
laughed gently, the dry old skin of her face wrinkling easily with her
smile.
'Then all men are fools!' she said softly. 'Of course it is wise to
die, Alys.
Everyone will die, all that we can choose is whether we die in faith.
Whether
your dangerous young lord comes for me today, or whether I die
surrounded by my
friends in a comfortable bed, does not matter to my immortal soul, just
to my
frightened body. Wherever and whenever I die, I want to die in my faith
and my
death will show that the most important thing in my life was keeping my
faith.'
'But I want to live!' Alys said stubbornly. The old woman smiled. 'Oh,
so do
I!' she said, and even Alys could hear the longing in her voice. 'But
not at
any price, my daughter. Both of us took that decision when we took our
vows.
Those vows are harder to keep now than it seemed when you were a little
girl
and the abbey was the finest home you could have hoped for. But the
vows are
still binding, and those who have the wisdom to hold to them will have
the joy
of knowing that they are one with God and with His Holy Mother.' They
were both
silent.
'Go
back to your comrades,' the old woman said gently. 'Tell them that
Catherine
will have to get well without you. And then come back here. If your
monstrous
young lord comes after you then we will face him with what courage the
Lord
gives us. If he does not, then we will make a new life here in peace.'
'I am
under guard!' Alys exclaimed. 'I cannot come away. They will not let
me.'
Mother Hildebrande looked at her. 'Then stay here,' she said simply.
'Let us
wait for them to seek you here and we can face them together.'
Alys
shook her head. 'They would come at once and take us both prisoner,'
she said.
'We would have no chance at all!'
'No
one
can take a wise woman prisoner,' Hildebrande said. 'Her heart and her
mind
belong to herself. If you obey your vows then all the obstacles on your
path
will fall away.'
'You
don't know what they will do when they catch you!' Alys exclaimed.
Mother
Hildebrande smiled and shook her head. 'Alys, I have been in hiding for
ten
months, ever since the sack of the abbey. I know exactly what they will
do to
me. They will question me as to my faith, they will beg me to recant.
Then they
will show me the instruments of torture. Do you have a torture dungeon
at the
castle?'
'I
don't know,' Alys said unwillingly. 'I suppose so ... I don't know.
I've never
been there.'
Mother
Hildebrande smiled. 'And it is I who am called blind!' she said. 'Then
I will
tell you, Alys. Lord Hugh does indeed have a torture room at Castleton
castle.
It is in the prison tower in the eastern corner of the inner manse. You
can see
the roof of the tower from the market-place in Castleton. It is
opposite the
round tower where Lord Hugh has his rooms. If you do not know of it,
then you
must be blind indeed.
'They
say that it is a room like a cellar, with no way in and no way out
except
narrow stairs with a trapdoor into the guardroom, guarded by the
soldiers. They
have pincers to tear the fingernails and toenails from the hands and
feet, they
have great shears to crop ears, to slit tongues. They have a little
blacksmith's forge to heat the brands to burn flesh, and they have a
rack to
stretch and stretch your body until all the bones are wrenched from
their
sockets and you are a cripple in every limb.'
'Stop
it,' Alys cried with her hands over her ears. 'Stop it!'
'They
have a press made of carved wood to crush the breath out of your body
and break
your ribs. They have a gag which holds your mouth open with sharp metal
plates.
They have a collar with spikes facing inwards which they tighten and
tighten
until the spikes are driven through your skin into your throat.'
'I
won't hear this! I won't listen!' Alys exclaimed. Mother Hildebrande
waited for
Alys to put her hands down from her ears. 'I know the dangers I am
facing,' she
said gently. 'It would be a poor act of faith if it were done by
accident,
would it not? I know what they can do to me if they take me. It is
right that I
should know the tortures I may face. Our Lord knew all His life what
would come
to Him. And my pains will be no worse than a crucifixion. No worse than
the
pains Our Lord suffered willingly for us. If He calls me to do it for
Him, how
can I say "no"?' Alys shook her head dumbly.
'Is it
fear, Sister Ann? Are you afraid to travel this road with me?' Mother
Hildebrande asked, and her voice was filled with pity. 'Tell me if it
is so and
we will find you another way, a safer way.'
There
was a long silence. Then Alys shook her head. 'No, Mother,' she said
slowly. 'I
have been your daughter from the moment I first saw you. Where you lead
I have
promised to follow. If it is God's will and your belief that we must
risk this,
then I cannot refuse.' Mother Hildebrande put her hand gently on Alys'
head in
a silent blessing. 'Then why is it I feel that you hesitate?' she said
softly.
'Is it the young lord, Sister Ann? Has he become dear to you?'
Alys
shook her head in denial but Mother Hildebrande never shifted her gaze.
'Are
you in sin, Ann?' she asked gently. 'Have you looked at a married man
and
forgotten his vows to his wife, and your vows to Our Lord? God forgive
me, but
when I saw you first in that red gown I feared you had become his
whore.' 'I am
not!' Alys said in a whisper. 'He is young and handsome and they say
that he
loves lust and young women. If he forced you, Ann, or even if he
seduced you
into consent, you can tell me, and we will find a penance for you. You
can
expiate your sin. Our Lady is merciful, she will intercede for you.'
'I
have
done nothing,' Alys said defiantly. She looked up at Hildebrande and
for one
moment the old abbess saw the hungry child of the herb garden who swore
she had
no kin and no one to prevent her coming to the abbey.
The
old
woman paused a moment longer, searching Alys' clear, open face. 'I pray
that it
is so,' she said at last. 'Go now, Alys, and tell them you are not
returning to
the castle with them. We have to start our new life here at once. God
is not to
be delayed with excuses. His call comes before that of a lady in a
castle -
whoever is her husband.'
Alys
rose reluctantly. 'Do you have enough food?' she asked.
The
abbess smiled. 'I feasted like a prince on your gift,' she said. 'There
is
plenty, and when that is gone Our Lady will send plenty once more. We
will not
hunger here, Sister Ann. We will not be cold and lonely.
The
Lord will guide us. I trust Him to set a table for me, and my cup will
run
over.' 'I'll light the fire,' Alys said.
'You
can do it when you come back,' the abbess said. ‘I’ll do it now. The
cottage
needs airing. The sooner the fire is lit the better.'
The
abbess let her go inside, closed her eyes to the sunlight and murmured
a prayer
of thanksgiving that Sister Ann was found, the finest child of the
abbey, found
and restored to God once more. Whatever her sins - and there must have
been
many sins during ten long hazardous months out in the world - the girl
would
confess them and expiate them. It was a joy as great as that of a holy
conception to have the child, her beloved daughter, returned to her.
'Like the
prodigal son,' the abbess whispered softly. Under her closed eyelids
she could
feel the prickle of tears. Sister Ann had been spared the fire and been
spared
rape, and had been led home.
'It's
alight,'
said Alys tersely, coming out into the sunshine again with dirty hands.
'In a
few moments you can put some of the wood on. Put only one piece at a
time, it's
damp.'
The
old
woman nodded, smiling. 'I shall walk along the river to meet you as you
come
back from your escort,' she said. 'The river here flows underground,
you can
sometimes hear it as you walk along the banks, Ann, did you know? It
made me
think of our faith -sometimes underground and sometimes above, but
always
flowing.'
Alys
nodded. She could not look at the caves uncovered by the drought
without
thinking of Morach's drowned body trapped and rotting in the crooked
darkness
of one of the holes. She could not sense the deep, secret, wetness of
the water
under the rocks. All she could see was the glare from the limestone
slabs. All
she could feel was their merciless aridity. 'I won't be long,' she said.
Alys
rode towards Castleton without looking back.
Mary,
mounted on the pony again, rode behind her.
The
soldiers, rested
after their dinner in
the wood, stepped out blithely. The leading soldier whistled softly
through his
teeth. The fine weather was breaking up, there was a mist lying in
swirls along
the river, clumping over the still pools. The air was colder in the
west,
behind them there were long thick strips of cloud gathering.
'Best
make haste,' the soldier in front said over his shoulder. 'It's going
to rain
and you have no cape.'
Alys
nodded and the man broke into a slow, steady run. The mule trotted
behind him,
the dust beneath its hooves as white as salt. Alys, watching its long,
doltish
ears, jogged uncomfortably along. Behind her she heard the rapid, light
sounds
of her pony cantering, held in on a tight rein by Mary. Alys could
taste the
dust of the road in her mouth, could feel its stony dryness on the skin
of her
face, in her hair. She felt its crystalline deadness all around her as
she rode
away from Hildebrande and left her alone on the high moor.
The
horses' hooves rang hollowly on the Castleton bridge. The soldier
slackened his
pace as they walked through the town. The market traders were gathering
up
their goods, a sharp flurry of wind whipped the cloth on a weaver's
stall into
a dozen flags. The pony shied but Mary, sitting easily in the saddle,
moved
with it; the mule waggled his long ears at the sight. 'Just got home in
time,'
the soldier said. The guards at the gates barred their way with pikes
and then
lifted them up in a salute to Alys. Behind them came the dull rumble of
thunder.
'Here
comes the rain,' the soldier said. 'You were lucky to get home dry,
Mistress
Alys.'
Alys
nodded and let him lift her from the saddle under the shelter of the
gateway.
'Someone
lend me a cape,' she said abruptly. A scud of rain raced across the
courtyard
before them. Mary put a soldier's cape around Alys' shoulders and Alys
pulled
it up over her stiff gable hood. Ducking her head against the driving
rain she
ran across the yard, through the second gate, across the inner manse
and into
the great hall.
She
paused inside the hall as a crack of lightning made the hall as bright
as
midday and then a loud peal of thunder exploded outside. A soldier at
the fire
jumped and crossed himself. 'Christ save us!' he said. 'That was right
overhead.'
'Where
is the young lord?' Alys asked him. 'Where is Hugo?'
'With
his father, Mistress Alys,' he replied. 'A messenger came from the King
and
they are reading the letters.'
Alys
nodded and went through the hall, through the lobby, to the round
tower. As she
climbed the tower steps her way was suddenly bright as the lightning
exploded
again. Alys stumbled and clung to the wall as the thunder rocked the
building.
‘I will do it,' she said through her teeth.
Her
gown had been soaked in the brief run across the courtyard and now it
clung to
her thighs, dragging her down. It was as cold and wet as the gown of a
drowned
woman. 'I will do it,' Alys said again.
She
went up a dozen more stairs into the circular guardroom below the old
lord's
room. There were two soldiers playing at dice. 'Is the young lord with
his
father?' Alys asked them.
'Yes,
Mistress Alys,' said the younger, standing to speak to her and pulling
off his
cap.
Alys
nodded. The thunder rolled dully as if it had sped away to rage around
the
other tower, the prison tower.
'The
storm has gone,' the lad said. 'What a clap that was just now!'
'It's
not gone yet,' Alys said. She turned from the room and went up the next
flight
of stairs, clinging to the stones at the side of the stairs as if her
knees
were weak.
She
had
been right about the storm. As she raised her hand to the latch of the
old
lord's door a knife of white light sliced through the arrow-slit to
Alys' feet
and then a great angry roar of thunder shook the stone tower. Alys,
flinching
back, almost fell into the room.
Hugo,
his father and David were seated at the fireside.
'What
a
storm!' the old lord said. 'Are you wet, Alys? Are you cold?'
'No,
no,' she said. She heard that her voice was too sharp, too alarmed. She
took a
breath and steadied herself. 'I had to run across the courtyard but we
were
home before the rain started,' she said.
Hugo
looked up at her. 'You should change from your wet clothes,' he said.
'My
father and I are busy with messages from the King's council.'
'I
won't disturb you then,' Alys said. 'I shall be ready to come and clerk
for
you, if you wish, my lord.' Lord Hugh nodded.
'I
just
thought I should tell you,' Alys said. 'The new wise woman at Morach's
cottage
on Bowes Moor. She is very strange. I met her in the woods when I was
fetching
the elm bark. She talked very wild. She frightened me.'
Hugo
looked up. 'Did she do you harm?' he asked.
Alys
shook her head. 'No, but I would not have her near me when I am at my
time,'
she said. 'I had sent her some goods and thought she might be of
service to me.
But she talked so wild and looked so strange. I don't like her. I don't
like
her being in Morach's cottage.'
The
old
lord was watching Alys curiously. 'Not like you to be fearful, Alys,'
he said.
'Is it your condition?'
Alys
shrugged. 'It must be,' she said. 'But the woman mistook me for someone
else.
She called me Ann and conjured me to go and live with her. She ordered
me to go
to the cottage and she said I would be in danger if I did not join her.
She
made me fearful.'
'Was
she hexing you?' the old lord asked.
'No,'
Alys said firmly. 'Nothing like that. I suppose it was nothing more
than my
foolish fancy. I do not swear against her, I make no accusation. But I
cannot
like her living here so close to us. Nor living there - where I like to
collect
my plants. And it was old Morach's cottage and now it is mine. I don't
want her
living in my cottage.'
'Move
her on?' the old lord said, cocking an eyebrow at Hugo.
Hugo
laughed shortly. 'We'll dump her over the border into Westmorland,' he
said.
'They have enough mad old women there for her to merge into the crowd.'
Alys
put her hand on her belly. 'I would not do her harm,' she said. 'I
would not
cause her to be hurt. I want you to move her gently, Hugo. I am only
nervous
because of my time and I do not want ill-wishing around me.'
'Oh
aye,' Hugo said. ‘I’ll send a half-dozen men out tomorrow. They can put
her on
a horse and send her over the border. You'll not see her again. She'll
not
trouble you.'
'Tell
them not to hurt her,' Alys said. ‘I feel it would be bad luck for me
if they
hurt her.'
Hugo
nodded. ‘I’ll tell them to be gentle with her. Don't fret, Alys.'
She
nodded. ‘I’ll leave you to your business then, my lords.' There was
another
flash of lightning as she put her hand on the door, and a deep rumble
of
thunder overhead.
'This
storm will do your work for you and blow the old hag across the
border,' Lord
Hugh said.
'Going
the wrong way,' Hugo said briefly. 'It'd blow her to Yorkshire and I'd
wish
that on no one.'
The
old
lord chuckled and Alys closed the door behind her softly.
The
storm did not cease circling the castle all night. Alys went down to
supper
with her way lit by flashes which made the candles into sticks of black
with
flames of shadows. Catherine stayed upstairs, whimpering with fear at
the storm
and cringing when the thunder rolled. Her window was barred tight shut,
with
the hangings drawn, but still the quicksilver brightness of the
lightning drew
a rapid silver line around the curtains for one sharp second before the
thunder
crushed the world into blackness.
Alys'
colour was high, she sparkled as if she had been brushed with lightning
herself. She was wearing a bright yellow
gown and her hair
combed
loose over her
shoulders. She laughed
and leaned towards the old lord, smiled across him to Hugo, nodded at
the
soldiers at their table at the back of the hall who gave her a ragged
cheer.
She drank deep of the dark red wine the old lord urged on her. She ate
well.
'The
elm bark settled your belly then,' the old lord said approvingly. 'The
baby
will do well with you, Alys. No jade's tricks of miscarriages, eh?'
Alys
gleamed at him. Outside the lightning smashed the darkness and the
thunder
roared in reply. A woman down in the body of the hall screamed.
'No,
my
lord,' she said brightly. 'Not if my skill can prevent it. You will
have a fine
babe on your knee when the spring comes in.' Hugo nodded. 'I'll drink a
toast
to that,' he said. There was a sharp flash of lightning and a loud clap
of
thunder. One of the serving-wenches screamed in fear and dropped a tray
of
meat, and the dogs, who had been cowering beneath the trestle-tables,
dashed
out into the hall, snatched up the bones, and cowered back into their
shelters
again. Alys laughed gaily.
'This
rain will beat down the wheat,' Hugo said gloomily. 'We may lose some
unless it
blows over swiftly and the wheat can recover and stand tall again.'
The
old
lord nodded. 'Summer storms never last long,' he said encouragingly.
'This one
will blow out overnight and in the morn you'll see a bright yellow sun
to dry
out the wheatfields.'
'We
must go out when they cut the wheat,' Alys said. 'And celebrate harvest
home.'
A page
stepped up to the dais to speak to the old lord. He leaned back in his
chair to
give an order. Hugo spoke across him to Alys.
'Perhaps
you had better stay home,' he said. 'You were not pleasantly greeted
last time
you went out to the fields.'
The
lightning flashed like a sword into the hall. Alys met Hugo's narrowed
judging
gaze with a brilliant smile which did not waver even when the roll of
thunder
drowned out his words.
'I
care
for nothing!' she said, her voice very low. 'Not with the storm raging
all
around us! Come to my room tonight, Hugo, come to my room and I shall
take you
for a ride in the storm which you will never forget. My sisters go out
to play
on nights like this and I would be with them. You have forgotten my
power,
Hugo, but when I stretch my hand out there is nothing which can stop
me. I do
not fear these village people with their patches of land and their pig
in the
sty and their hive of bees. I do not fear anything they say nor
anything they
can do. I fear nothing, Hugo. Come to my room tonight and see how it is
to play
with a thunderstorm.'
Hugo
lost his hard, critical look and was breathing swiftly. 'Alys,' he said
longingly.
'After
supper,' Alys commanded. She turned her head from him. David was at her
side
and the server of meat bent his knee and proffered the silver plate.
'Give
me plenty,' Alys cried over the rumble of the storm. 'I am hungry. I
shall eat
all I need. Give me plenty!'
Supper
was concluded swiftly, the noise of the storm made talk impossible, and
even the
least superstitious were edgy and fearful. For a little while the
thunder
slackened as it rolled off up the valley. But at the head of the valley
by the
great waterfall it turned and came raging down the river's course
again,
gathering speed and blowing the waters of the river out of course,
flooding
over their banks. The women did not choose to sit in the gallery where
the
windows rattled with the wind and the fire spat and hissed with falling
rain.
They went early to their beds, Ruth sleeping on a truckle bed in
Catherine's
room, holding her hand against her night-terrors. Alys laughed openly
at the
thought of it, flung open her door to Hugo, and then barred it behind
them.
He had
caught her mood, his eyes were shining. He waited for her to command
him.
'Drink,'
Alys said, handing him the wine with a small pinch of earthroot. She
drained
her own glass. 'And strip, Hugo, my sisters will only take you skyclad.'
Hugo
dragged his clothes off slowly, the earthroot spreading through his
body,
making his limbs heavy and uncontrolled. Alys could see his dark eyes
go
blacker yet as the pupils dilated with the drug. 'Alys, my witch,' he
slurred.
'Lie
on
the bed,' she said in a whisper. 'They are coming, my sisters. They
will come
at the next roll of thunder. Listen for them, Hugo! When the lightning
splits
the sky they will tumble down from the clouds, screaming and laughing,
their
hair streaming behind them. They are coming now! Now! Now!'
Alys
stood naked before the arrow-slit window, her arms outstretched. ‘I can
see
them,' she said. 'Across the brightness of the sky they're coming,
Hugo! Here,
my sisters! Here I am! Take me out in the storm to play with you.'
The
wind gusted through the arrow-slit. Alys, burning up with guilt, with
desire,
with feverish excitement, laughed madly as the rain lashed her body.
'Oh, that
is good!' she said. The cold, hard rain stung her nipples, in a
thousand
prickling blows. 'Oh, so good!' she said.
She turned to Hugo, driving herself beyond caution. 'Let's
go outside,'
she said recklessly. 'To the top of the round tower.'
'Outside,'
Hugo said thickly.
Alys
threw her dark blue cape around her nakedness, and put a blanket around
Hugo's
shoulders. He stumbled as she led him across the gallery, down the
stairs and
across the lobby to the round tower. The old lord was still in the
hall, there
was no one in the guardroom. Alys and Hugo slipped through, and up the
narrow
dark stairs, past the old lord's room, past Hugo's chamber above it,
and up the
stairs and out to the top of the tower.
In a
sheltered corner the pigeon coops were battened down to keep the
messenger
pigeons safe. Alys wanted to release them - to fling the precious birds
out
into the random winds so that they would be tumbled and lost and never
find
their way home. Apart from the coops, the roof-top was empty,
slate-floored and
inhospitable, a tower pointing upwards into the very vortex of the
storm. The
air was howling around them, the wind buffeting them so strongly that
their
words were whipped from their mouths and they were deafened with the
hurrying
gale. Alys stepped across to the parapet and looked down.
The
walls were high and straight as a plumb line. Alys could barely see the
foot of
the tower where it grew, like some strange crag, from the sheer rock of
the
cliff above the river. As the lightning flashed, Alys could see the
cliffs,
shiny and wet in the darkness as they fell away, in a sheer drop down
to the
river bed. Each crag was as pointed as a pike, and below them the river
crashed
and foamed over more sharp rocks, breaking in waves of black water and
white
spume. Alys let her cape fly out behind her and turned her face up to
the
drenching rain.
'They
are here!' she yelled. 'My sisters are taking us to play with the
storm! Can you
feel them, Hugo?'
The
wind had torn Hugo's blanket from his shoulders and whipped it away
like a
ribbon. The rain lashed his stocky white body. He flung his head back
and
laughed as the wind tore against him and the rain poured down on his
nakedness.
Alys
pressed against him, squeezed his thigh between her legs as they stood,
drenched in the storm. The lightning dazzled them for a moment and then
plunged
them into blackness.
'Feel
my sisters,' Alys said urgently. 'We are riding in the storm with them.
See how
the winds pull and throw us around. We are out in the storm, tossed by
the air,
bruised by the lightning. The storm is our lover. Be the storm, Hugo!
Be at one
with the storm and take us all.'
The
earthroot was twisting and turning Hugo's brain. His body was icy from
the
rainwater and burning from his own heat and the earthroot fever. He
savagely
snatched up Alys and pressed her against the turret wall and forced
himself
into her. Alys, her body crushed against the stone wall, her shoulders
and head
above the parapet in the full force of the storm, laughed aloud.
'You
are the storm, Hugo, you are the storm!' she cried. 'Love me into
madness. I
have thrown away everything for you. Everything is lost for you!'
Hugo
buried himself into her, withdrew, thrust forward again. At every move
Alys was
pushed nearer and nearer the edge of the turret wall where it dropped
down from
full height to waist height. Below them the river was in a spate of
deep dark
water and wind-lashed foam. Alys saw the movement into fatal danger and
laughed
again. Deep inside her, desire and madness were building together. She
clenched
her legs around Hugo's waist and leaned back on the wall. Hugo, blind
to
everything but his fantasy of witches and storms and magical lust,
forced
himself into her again and again.
One
final movement flung Alys from the support of the turret wall out into
nothing,
over the precipice. Hugo held her hips, her legs were around his waist,
but her
body was half falling from the top of the tower. And then Alys, mad for
satisfaction and mad for release from her fear and her guilt, let go of
Hugo's
shoulders and stretched her arms out, over her head, reaching out into
the
abyss. The lightning flashed, lighting Alys' insane, laughing face and
Hugo's
tranced grimace of pleasure as Alys flung herself, head first into
nothingness,
with only her legs still gripping Hugo. She screamed at her pleasure
and the
sound was torn away from her mouth by the wind. She opened her eyes and
looked
downwards. She was dangling from the top of the tower, below her was a
maelstrom of boiling winds, seething rain and the tumbling torrent of
the river
over boulders. Alys stretched her arms out into nothingness and laughed
aloud,
longing for the final terror of the tumbling fall and then blackness.
Then
her belly clenched with lust and she groaned, instinctively she
tightened her
legs around his back, forcing him closer and closer, deeper and deeper
inside
her, wringing every second of pleasure from him. Hugo, not knowing what
he did,
caring neither for her safety nor her danger but only his own pleasure,
snatched her back from the precipice and bore down on her on the stone
flags of
the turret roof. The rain poured down on the two glistening bodies as
they
rolled together, knotted with lust. Then the thunder rolled again and
Hugo
groaned, and fell away from her.
Alys
lay, mouth open, drinking in the rain. Her hair was a puddled wet mass
behind
her neck, Hugo a spent weight on her body. She pushed him away and sat
up slowly.
Her head was swimming with the wine from supper and with the powerful
drugs of
lust and terror. She pushed herself to her feet and hobbled over to the
edge of
the tower. She was sober now, as a drunkard who suddenly sees the
danger he was
in will turn sober and cold in a second. She held on to one of the
turrets and
peered down the dizzying drop. She could not see the foot of the tower,
it was
too dark and too high. But she could hear the rush of the river water
as it
broke its back on the rocks. When the lightning cracked the sky again
Alys
could see the rocks far, far below her, where they formed a cliff of
breakneck
height down to the raging vortex of the river bed. Alys stepped back
from the
edge of the tower and pulled her cape around her. She shuddered.
'That
was too close,' she said. 'Too close. Too near to the edge. Too close.'
She
shook her head like someone coming out of a deep trance. 'The blank
rune, the
blank rune,' she whispered. 'Oh God! The blank rune. Odin.'
For a
moment she stared down and then she looked out towards the moor. The
storm was
raging out eastwards; when the lightning struck she could see the rain
like a
wall of water spreading over the moor up towards the high fells. The
river
would be filling fast, Morach in her cave would be drowned all over
again. The
river might spill out in the darkness, flood over its banks and
hungrily eat
the little hovel and the old arthritic woman, sweep them away before
the
soldiers came. 'Sleep well,' Alys said ironically to the darkness.
'Both
my mothers. Sleep well. May the thunderstorm take both of you, may the
rain
wash you both out of my life, may the winds blow you far away from me.'
She
laughed in a high cracked voice at her own black humour and then turned
slowly
back to Hugo.
He was
lying where she had left him, his skin cold and wet. Alys wrapped her
cape
tightly around her and lifted up the trapdoor in the flagstones. In the
pigeon
coops under the little rickety roof half a dozen tiny red eyes watched
her
anxiously, the birds stirring fretfully as she passed. Alys stepped
down the
narrow stone stairs and dropped the trapdoor back into place. She went
past
Hugo's room and past the old lord's chamber. Halfway down the stairs to
the
guardroom she met one of the soldiers.
'Fetch
a comrade and go and get Lord Hugo,' she said briskly. 'He is drunk and
would
go out on the roof to see the storm. See that his servants warm him and
dry him
and put him to bed. He is dead drunk and cannot walk.'
The
soldier grinned. 'Yes, Lady Alys,' he said. He ran down to the
guardroom ahead
of her and Alys heard the quick ripple of male laughter. She walked
down the
stairs, through the guardroom, where the soldiers stood back to let her
pass,
sneaking a look at her bare white feet, and across to the stairs up to
the
ladies' gallery.
Mary
was waiting by Alys' bed when she came into the room. Without comment
she took
the soaking cape from her and wrapped Alys in a warm sheet. Alys, too
tired and
dazed to be bothered with her nightshift and nightcap, slipped between
her
sheets wrapped and warm like a swaddled baby.
'Goodnight,
your ladyship,' Mary said carefully, and blew out the candle.
That
night Alys had a dream. It came from the thunderstorm and the pouring
rain
outside the castle. It came from the boiling flood of the river around
the
rocks of the castle's foundation. It came from the blank rune. It came
from
Morach - dark and deep and hidden in her drowned cave. It came from
Hildebrande
- praying in the darkness with the tears pouring down her old face for
the lamb
which had lost its way, for the daughter who had turned traitor.
Alys
dreamed she was on the road to Castleton from Morach's cottage. She
dreamed she
was riding her mare. It was a fine day, sunny and bright and the mare
was stepping
smartly along the white road. Alys dreamed she saw the bluish leaves of
wild
sage in the bank at the side of the road and pulled up the mare to pick
the
fresh florets.
The
mare stopped, Alys slipped from the saddle and bent down over the
plant. Then
she recoiled. The bank was alive with worms. It was seething with white
maggots, tiny and thin, writing together in a huge mass of corruption.
As she
fell back against the horse's shoulder she saw that the bank on the
other side
of the road was filled with worms as well. She was trapped between two
feasts
of writhing, silent maggots.
Alys
went to leap up on the horse but, in the way of dreams, there was no
saddle and
no stirrup. She could not get up. She fumbled at the horse's back, then
she
went around to the other side, hoping there might be a saddle on the
other
side. There was nothing, and she could feel the banks coming closer.
The whole
monstrous hedgerow of maggots, crawling over every flower, thick in
every hole,
was coming closer, closer.
Alys
screamed as loud as she could and her scream tore through the fabric of
the
dream, ripped her sleep open. She opened her eyes and she was sitting
upright
in her bed, sweating with terror.
'My
God, my God!' she said into the darkness. The castle was in silence,
the storm
gone. Outside there was the soft patter of summer rain and the sky was
pale
with the rising, cloudwashed sun. 'My God,' Alys said again.
She
turned her pillow over, it was damp with sweat. She pulled the covers a
little
closer. She felt as chilled and as trembly as if she had just come in
from the
storm.
'What
a
dream!' Alys said to herself in the silence of her room. 'What a
nightmare. And
all nonsense. All nonsense.'
She
shook her head and lay down on the pillow again, clutching the covers
around
her for warmth. 'Nonsense,' she said to herself softly. 'All nonsense.'
Within
minutes she was asleep. Within minutes she was dreaming again. Once
more she
was riding down the road on her pretty mare. Once more she saw the
herb, pulled
up the horse, and leaned towards the flower-studded bank. There was
something
white moving under the leaves.
Alys
recoiled, thinking it must be some worm, perhaps a snake. Then she saw
more
clearly. A little white hand.
Alys
screamed aloud, but made no sound except a soft groan.
As she
watched, the little hand parted the curtain of a dock leaf and the
little wax
doll walked out. It was the doll of Hugo - the worst of the three.
Eyeless,
earless, fingerless, mouthless. It waddled on little legs through the
thick
leaves and flowers of the bank and down to the road. Behind it, like
tiny toy
soldiers, came the other two. The doll of Lord Hugh, stooped and more
tired,
but marching determinedly behind Hugo, and behind him came Catherine.
With helpless
fascination Alys leaned down from her horse to see better. The doll of
Catherine had changed. The great fat belly had gone, torn away. There
was a
ragged edge to the doll's body and a cavernous hole where the belly had
been.
At every step the doll took it left a little trail, like the slime of a
snail,
where molten candlewax dripped from the wound. 'Where are you going?'
Alys
moaned. The Catherine and the Lord Hugh dolls checked at her voice. But
the
little doll of Hugo could neither hear her, nor see her, feel her, nor
speak to
her. It trudged on like a little unstoppable toy.
'To
Castleton,' the two little dolls said in their piping, innocent voices.
'To
find our mother who made us.'
‘I
buried you!' Alys shouted at them. 'I left you on holy ground. I left
you
there. Lie quiet! Lie quiet, I command you!'
'We
want our mother!' they said in their high, bright voices. 'We want our
mother,
our mother, little Sister Ann!'
'No!'
Alys' scream broke through her sleep. She heard her door bang open as
Mary came
into the room, asking if she were ill.
'No!'
Alys said again, the dream fading as she felt Mary's hand on her arm. .
But
she
heard their reply, from three miles out on the Castleton road. 'We want
you,
mother,' they cried joyfully. 'WE WANY YOU!'
The
morning was clear and sun-filled, just as the old lord had predicted.
The storm
had drenched the mist and blown away the clouds. Alys, waking from a
second
sleep, went over to the arrow-slit and stared out towards the moor
where the
white ribbon of the road snaked westward.
For
long moments she stood staring towards the moor as if she thought that
she
might see something coming along the road. Then she shrugged and turned
away.
'I
fear
nothing,' she said under her breath. 'Nothing. I have not come this far
to be
fearful of dreams. I am not a fool like Catherine. I shall fear
nothing.'
Mary
tapped at the door and came in, laden with a platter of bread and meat,
and a
pitcher of ale. Alys went back to bed and ate heartily, sitting up in
bed, and
reviewing one gown after another as Mary took them from the chest and
spread
them out before her.
'The
new blue gown,' she said at last. 'And I'll wear my hair loose.'
Mary
laid out the dress, poured hot water from a ewer to a basin, and helped
Alys
lace tight into the gown. It had been remade from some blue silk in
Meg's box,
sewn by the castle sempstresses in the style favoured by the new Queen
Jane.
Alys smiled. The dress might have come into fashion precisely to show
off her
growing belly. The stomacher was cut short, it pressed across the
breasts and
laced at the back like a bodice. In the front the fullness of the gown
was
gathered across the belly.
Even
virgins wearing such a fashion would look pregnant; Alys, with the
curve of her
belly emphasized by the folds of silk, looked like a queen of
fertility. She
opened the door, bid 'good day' to the ladies and strolled across the
gallery
to visit Catherine.
Catherine
was still in bed. Her breakfast tray was pushed aside, she was drinking
from a
mug of ale. She put it down when Alys came in the door and held out her
arms to
her. Alys bent over the bed and allowed Catherine to hold her and
nuzzle her
damp face into Alys' neck.
'Alys,'
Catherine said miserably. 'You must help me.' Alys pulled up a chair to
the bed
without invitation or permission and sat down. 'In what way,
Catherine?' she
asked pleasantly. 'You know I would do anything in my power for you.'
Catherine
snivelled weakly and hunted in the pillows for her handkerchief. She
rubbed her
eyes and her moist nose. 'I cannot stop weeping,' she said thickly.
'All day
and even all night. Alys, I weep even in my dreams.'
Alys
examined her clasped hands against the blue of her robe. They were as
smooth
and as white as a lady's. No one would look at them now and think Alys
had ever
plied anything heavier than a needle. 'Why do you weep?' Alys asked,
without
much interest.
Catherine
pressed the backs of her hands against her pink cheeks to cool them.
'Hugo will
not see me,' she said flatly. 'He will not see me and he refuses to
touch me
because I have not been churched. But Father Stephen is not here so I
cannot be
churched. Hugo knows that. He is using it as an excuse to snub me. I
know it. I
know it.' She broke off, her voice had risen high and angry. She took a
deep
breath. 'I do not even know if Father Stephen believes in churching,'
she said
resentfully. 'If he calls it superstition and refuses to do it, and
Hugo still
will not touch me until it is done, then what can I do? It is a trick.
Hugo is
punishing me for losing his child. But it is not my fault! I am not to
blame!'
Her voice had grown high and shrill again. She took a quivering breath,
trying
to calm herself. Alys barely looked at her.
'The
old lord will not see me,' she said. 'He says he will see me when I am
well
again and fit to be seated at table; but I know he is angry with me.'
She
hesitated, her voice very low. 'I suspect him,' she said softly. 'I
suspect him
of trying to have me put aside.' Alys glanced up at her but said
nothing. 'You
must know,' Catherine said with sudden energy. 'You write his letters
for him,
he tells you his business. Is he writing to have me set aside and the
marriage
annulled?' 'Yes,' Alys said precisely. 'If his friends at court will
support
his application.'
The
flushed colour went from Catherine's face, leaving her waxy white. 'On
what
grounds?' she whispered. 'Too close kinship,' Alys replied. 'There was
a
dispensation ...' Catherine began. 'Bought from the Pope,' Alys
answered. 'The
King decides these matters now. Not the Pope.'
Catherine
was silent, staring at Alys. 'What does Hugo say?' she asked. 'Does he
love me
still? Does he want to keep me? Will he stand against his father?'
'Hugo
doesn't know,' Alys answered. 'But I doubt he would go against his
father's
will in this matter.'
'No,'
Catherine said, shaking her head. 'He would not. He married me because
his
father ordered it, and he lay with me because they needed an heir. Now
I cannot
give an heir I am of no use to anybody. So they will throw me away.'
Alys
looked at her fingernails. They were pale pink and regular, with clear
white
tips and little half-moons of whiteness at the base. Alys inspected
them
approvingly.
'I am
lost,' Catherine said hollowly. Alys waited, indifferent to Catherine's
pain.
'What will they do with me?' Catherine asked. 'You could marry again,'
Alys
suggested. A little of the colour came back into Catherine's cheeks.
'After
Hugo?' she demanded.
Alys
nodded, conceding the point. 'Or you could have a little house of your
own,
with your own servants on your dowry land. Perhaps a little manor, a
farmhouse.'
Catherine's
plump face trembled with her grief. 'I have been the lady of the
castle,' she
said. 'The wife of Lord Hugo. Do they expect me to live in a cottage
and keep
ducks?' Alys smiled. 'Could you fight them?' 'I'd lose,' Catherine
replied
promptly. 'Catherine of Aragon could not sway them, a princess in her
own
right. The Boleyn woman's own uncle found her guilty and sent her to be
killed.
It's not likely that they would listen to me! The King's council do not
like to
hear about male impotence, male infertility. It is easier for them to
blame a
wife.'
Alys
glanced behind her to see that the door was safely shut. 'That's
treason,' she
said flatly.
Catherine
looked defiantly at her. 'I don't care,' she said. 'They have used me
like a
toy and now they will throw me on the midden. Hanging as a traitor
could not
hurt me worse than this betrayal.'
There
was silence for a few moments. Alys saw that Catherine's constant tears
had
dried on her cheeks.
Underneath
the rosy plumpness of Catherine's face the old hard lines were
beginning to
show again.
'Who
will they marry him to?' Catherine asked. 'Have they written to anyone?'
Alys
kept her voice level, her joy and confidence concealed. 'Lord Hugh has
made no
approaches,' she said. She waited for Catherine to guess that Alys
would be the
new lady, waited for her explosion of rage, of jealousy which would
carry her
out of the castle in a fit of pique and then beach her outside, never
to
return, in a little manor farm, visited only now and then by David with
unwanted goods from the castle. Impoverished. Alone.
'I
suppose they will wait until the annulment has gone through,' Catherine
said.
Alys smiled inwardly at Catherine's stupidity. 'Then they will look
about them
for a girl, a young girl, fertile and strong and wealthy. That's who
they will
wait for. Some noble little thing who will fall passionately in love
with Hugo
as I did. And then wear away her life with longing and jealousy- as I have done. And then
wait and wait for a
child from him. For it is he who has no seed. It is he who is corrupt.'
Alys
kept her face down so Catherine could not see her smile. There was no
young
noble bride in the offing. There was no list of candidates. Alys was as
close
to Lord Hugh as anyone in the castle. If there had been marriage plans
for Hugo
then Alys would have known-
even
before Hugo himself. The annulment was planned. A second marriage would
be left
to Hugo's desires, to Lord Hugh's preference. Alys knew that when
Catherine
left the castle the new lady would be Alys.
Catherine
threw back the covers of the bed and went to the window. She drew back
the
curtains and flung open the shutters. The morning sunlight poured into
the
room, the dust from the strewing herbs dancing in the sunbeams.
'Look
at him,' she said with deep resentment. 'Blithe as ever.'
Alys
went to her side. In the courtyard below, Hugo was detaining Alys' new
serving-girl, Mary, with one casual hand on her arm.
'Who
is
she?' Catherine said in a half-whisper. 'A new girl, my maidservant.
David
found her in Castleton to wait on me,' Alys said. She could feel
herself
getting breathless; deep in her belly she felt her pulse speeding with
jealousy.
Hugo's
laugh echoed around the courtyard, they could see Mary toss back her
hair and
smile at him.
From
the round tower behind them, the prison tower, a soldier came out of
the little
doorway and strolled down the external stone stairs, calling some jest
to Hugo.
The watching women could see Mary shrug her shoulders and laugh.
'So
now
you know,' Catherine said triumphantly. 'Now you know how I felt when
they
brought you in, straight off the moor, and I saw Hugo turn and watch
you every
time you crossed a room. They called you one of my ladies but I knew
you were
here for their delight - Hugo's and the old lord's. It killed me inside
to see
him burning for you. And now you can watch your maid, a silly ignorant
girl,
and see Hugo burning for her. And every time she walks across the room
you will
see him turn his head away from you and watch her.'
Alys
leaned against the window-sill and looked down, the stone wall cold and
hard
against her. Hugo had his arm around Mary's waist, he was whispering in
her
ear. Mary had leaned back along his arm, her neck seductively
stretched, the
tops of her breasts showing over her bodice. As Hugo's wife and Hugo's
mistress
silently watched, Hugo dropped his dark head and kissed her neck and
her
breasts. They heard Mary's ripple of laughter and then she pushed him
away. She
ran a few steps from him, as if she were unwilling, and then she
glanced at him
over her shoulder, inviting the chase. When he did not follow, she set
her
basket on her jutting hip and swayed across the courtyard. Hugo stood
and
lazily watched her walk away until she was out of sight.
'How
long do you think she will hold out against him?' Catherine asked. 'A
month? A
week? Until tonight?'
She
gave a cracked, bitter laugh and leaned back against the bedpost. 'It
was
always better, I found, if they gave in swiftly. He gets bored then.
The worst
agony for me was when he was hot for you. You delayed so long. It was
such pain
for me, waiting and waiting for him to have his fill of you and come
back to
me.' Alys shook her head. She could not match the torment and storm-lit
madness
of last night with Hugo's prosaic flirtation in the sunny courtyard.
'Only last
night we were lovers,' she said unguardedly.
'How
could he want a slut like her today? We were together in madness last
night.
How could he wake and want her?'
'He
used to go from my bed to yours without even pausing,' Catherine
replied.
'Hugo's infidelities happen at speed. You, of all people, should know
that.'
Alys nodded. 'But last night ...' she said. She broke off. Catherine
was right.
Of all women she should have known of the fickleness of men's desire.
From her
earliest childhood she had heard Morach warning girls wanting love
potions that
you can arouse lust but not liking. You can hex someone to obsession
but not to
affection.
'Do
you
love him?' Catherine asked curiously. 'No,' Alys replied absently. 'I
did, at
first. I was sick with love for him, I gambled everything - my soul
itself - to
make him love me. But since then ...' She sighed. 'I sometimes desire
him,' she
said. 'And I need him now to keep my place here. I like to be the lady
here, I
like to be first with him and with his father. But I cannot say I love
him
tenderly. I have only loved one person tenderly.'
She
thought of the old woman in the cottage on the moors coming out into
the
innocent sunshine at the sound of the horses, and then the soldiers
taking her
roughly and bundling her on a horse behind some lad who would crack
jokes and
call her 'Grandma' and then slung her down like a sack in Appleby
market. 'And I
think I may have failed in my love for her,' Alys said evasively.
'Morach?'
Catherine guessed.
Alys
thought of the old corpse rolling round and round in the roiling waters
of the
cave. 'Not Morach,' she said. 'But it is true that I failed her too.'
Catherine
slid an arm around Alys' waist. 'When I go will you come with me? To
the manor
farmhouse? We could live together, Alys, you could practise your
healing. We
would be comfortable.'
She
hesitated, glancing sideways at Alys. 'I would care for you. I would
protect
you. I would be like a husband to you. I desire you, Alys. I wanted you
the
night that Hugo brought you to me, and I had desired you before. It was
my idea
that he should have us both. He tempted me into telling my desires
once, and I
told him that I longed for you.
'Even
when you were my rival I hated you and wanted you, all at once. I used
to think
of Hugo lying with you and I longed for you both, I envied you both.
You -
because you had Hugo at your beck. And he -because he could lie on you
and
master you. I longed to see you together, your body and his. But now,
since I
lost the baby, I hate Hugo. I hate the thought of him and his foul
seed. But I
still want you. I dream of you.'
Alys
stepped out of Catherine's cuddling arm, her mind whirling with
possibilities.
'I don't know,' she said, playing for time. 'I never thought.'
Catherine's
face was eager. Alys felt her power flowing through her as she saw
Catherine's
need for her, Catherine's desire. Alys laughed softly, seductively. 'I
never
knew you desired me, Catherine,' she said. 'I never knew.'
Catherine
reached out for Alys once more, pulled at her waist. 'I would keep you
safe,'
she said urgently. 'Here in the castle, if Hugo tires of you, you are
lost.
When the old lord dies they will blame you for his death, perhaps
charge you
with witchcraft. Have you thought of that? But with my money on my land
I can
keep you safe.'
'I am
safe here,' Alys objected. 'Hugo may flirt with a serving-wench but he
desires
no one but me. I will have a place here long after Mary is out on the
streets
of Castleton plying her trade as a whore. Hugo will never tire of me.'
Catherine
nodded. 'Not now,' she said. 'But later. When the new wife comes in,
she may
demand that you are sent away. If she is young, noble and beautiful,
Hugo will
do everything he can to please her. She will snub you and insult you.
She will
bring her own women and you will have nothing to do in the gallery.
They will
tease you and abuse you. And when Hugo comes to sit with them they will
laugh
and say you are awkward and foolish and out of fashion. Your gowns will
be
wrong, Alys, and they will laugh at your speech and even at your
healing. They
will mortify you and humble you and then laugh at your pain. I can save
you
from that, from humiliation when the new wife comes in. And I would
like to
live in a manor-house with you. Far from Hugo, far from his father.
Just you and
me with a little farm, Alys!'
Alys
felt her skills slick and warm at her fingertips. She felt her power
around her
like a puppet-master's cloak when he spreads it wide as a backcloth and
sets
his little dolls dancing. She slid her arm around Catherine's broad
waist and
felt the big woman yearn towards her. 'If I agree to come to you when
Hugo's
new wife arrives, will you go peaceably now?' she asked. 'The old lord
has said
he will be generous with money if you accept the end of the marriage
graciously.
You could get all the money we need by obliging him.'
Catherine
stiffened. 'Make it easy for them!' she exclaimed.
'Make
it easy for us,' Alys corrected her. 'Take their money, and then, when
you are
safe in your own little manor - take me too!'
Catherine
drew Alys to her, drenched her neck in kisses, moved her lips up across
Alys'
face towards her mouth. 'Then I can have you, like Hugo used to have
you,' she
said. 'I used to dream of what he did with you, I used to burn up with
jealousy
and desire dreaming of him with you. Now I cannot have him and he hates
me, and
he has made me foul to myself. But at least I can steal his whore from
him. At
least I can take you,'
Alys
forced herself to stand still, her hands on Catherine's puffy hips,
while Catherine's
grip tightened around her waist and her other hand stroked the top of
Alys'
breasts.
'Do
you
want me for desire of me, or revenge on Hugo?' Alys asked curiously.
'Both,'
Catherine said honestly. 'I will humble him as he has humbled me. I
lost my
child but he will lose his whore. I shall steal you away from him as if
you
were his best possession. I shall take you as I would poach his mare. I
shall
make you mine and every time I lie on you I shall have all my pleasure
and his
as well.' She turned towards the rumpled bed, her hand insistently
pulling
Alys. The sheets were stained with wax and smelled sour. Alys froze,
hiding her
disgust. 'Not now,' she said quickly. 'Tonight, Catherine. If I can get
away
from Hugo I shall come to you tonight.'
Catherine
paused and beamed. ' We deceive him! she said, laughing with delight.
'Just
when he thinks he has beaten me to the ground and has you as his whore.
We
steal away together and laugh at his pride. And we will find pleasure
that Hugo
in his cruelty has never dreamed of.'
'Yes,'
Alys said. ‘I will come tonight if I can sneak away from him. And I
will come
to your manor as soon as you are settled.' She kept her eyes down to
hide the
flare of triumph. 'I promise.'
'Do
you
swear on Our Lady?' Catherine asked urgently.
Alys
took the oath as lightly as a butterfly sipping nectar. 'I swear.'
Catherine
reached out both arms. 'I agree,' she said.
'I
agree, Alys. Now let me hold you again.' Her grip tightened. 'Let me
hold you,'
she said.
Alys
stood still in Catherine's embrace for a long tedious moment; her face,
hidden
from Catherine, was radiant. Then she gently stepped back.
'You
should rest,' she said. 'Go back to bed and eat a good dinner. I have
to go and
write letters for Lord Hugh. The King's messenger came yesterday, they
will
need replies today.'
Catherine
reluctantly released her. 'Come to me when you are free this
afternoon,' she
commanded. 'And we will talk about the manor-house. I will tell David
to fetch
me the books of accounts and we can choose our home together.'
Alys
nodded. 'If I can come I will,' she temporized. 'You go to bed now.'
'I
love
you, Alys,' Catherine said. She looked like a little girl, climbing
into the
high bed. 'I know you don't love me. But when you are hurt by Hugo and
banished
from here, I think you will turn to me. Do you think you could love me?'
Alys
shaped her lips into a smile. 'I love you already,' she said. 'And I
look
forward to the day when we are in our manor-house together.'
Catherine
held out her arms. 'Hold me again,' she said.
Alys
stepped forward, put her arms around Catherine and let the woman rest
her head
on Alys' unwelcoming shoulder. Alys drew back and pulled up the covers,
tucking
Catherine into bed.
'I
will
tell the girl to change your bedding,' Alys said. Catherine beamed at
her. 'How
you care for me, Alys!' she said gratefully. 'How gentle and loving we
will be
together when we are far from here.'
Alys
glanced out of the arrow-slits in the tower on her way to Lord Hugh's
chamber.
The high hills of the moor glowed like purple mist in the bright
sunshine. The
air was clear and clean as it blew gently through each arrow-slit, so
Alys,
hastening up the spiral stairs, went from sharp moorland air to stale
castle smells
as the sunlight fell briefly on her face and then left her in darkness.
The
white road was empty of travellers. She paused and looked carefully.
There was
nothing stirring the dust. Nothing.
She
breathed slowly at the final window before she went in to the old lord.
He was
wearing a light summer robe and sitting in his chair before a small
fire. The
room was crowded. Hugo was there and as Alys opened the door he laughed
at some
jest and she saw his dark head thrown back and his face merry. When he
saw her
he gave her a swift wink and came forward to draw her into the room. As
his
fingertips touched hers they both felt a tingle of last night's desire.
'Give
you good day, my Alys!' Hugo said warmly.
Behind
Hugo was the priest Father Stephen, still in his travelling cloak,
thinner and
more intense than before. David stood beside him, holding rolls of
manuscript
letters.
'Ah,
Alys,' Lord Hugh said genially. 'Come in, come in. Here is our own good
Stephen
with news of his preferment. He has been made archdeacon! You must
congratulate
him.'
'Indeed
I do,' Alys said prettily. She put her hand to Stephen. ‘I can think of
no
better man for the task,' she said.
Stephen
bowed slightly over her hand. His eyes flickered from her face to her
belly. He
had heard gossip that Alys was carrying Hugo's child. Now he saw that
it was
true.
'I
have
much work to do,' the old lord said. 'Stephen, you will take your old
rooms?
And talk with me this afternoon after dinner?'
'Certainly,
my lord,' Stephen said. 'Come riding with me now,' Hugo said. 'We can
take the
hounds and go up over the moor, get some meat.'
Stephen
grinned. 'Still hunting Hugo?' he said. 'Always some prey or another.'
It was
a private joke. Both men grinned like schoolboys. 'No preaching now,'
Hugo
said. 'Not on your first day back with us!'
Stephen
laughed and nodded. They swirled from the room in a flurry of coloured
capes
and David went quietly after them, shutting the door.
Alys
settled herself at the table in the window, smoothed her blue gown over
her
knees, turned her head and smiled.
'You're
looking very contented,' the old lord said approvingly.
‘I
have
been talking with Catherine,' Alys said. 'I think I have done you a
service
which will please you.' He cocked an eyebrow at her and waited. 'If you
will
settle a decent-sized manor farm on her, and give her a pension, then I
can
persuade her to let the annulment go through without protest,' Alys
said
calmly. 'She is ready to leave at once.'
'Christ
save us!' the old lord exclaimed. He hauled himself up on his cane and
walked
around his chair. 'Why?' he asked. 'Why should she surrender Hugo after
clinging to him for all these years?'
'She
feels unclean,' Alys said. 'She felt the miscarriage very deeply, she
has wept
without ceasing until today.
She
feels your anger and Hugo's. She wants to please you and she wants to
get away.
She knows she is barren and she will have to go.'
The
old
lord nodded. 'But I always thought her so lustful,' he said. 'I thought
we
would have to lever Hugo out of her arms.'
Alys
looked down and smiled complacently. 'She is a woman of unnatural
desires,'
Alys said simply. 'She now desires me.'
The
old
lord gave a crack of laughter. 'God help us!' he said. 'Hugo will be
mortified!
She's had his cock between her legs and she prefers the peck of a hen!
Wait
till I tell him! He will die of shame! Catherine will let the marriage
go if
she can have his whore!'
He
sobered in a few minutes. 'And what of you?' he asked. 'Playing both
sides
against the middle, as usual, I suppose?'
Alys
looked up at him. 'My lord?' she asked innocently.
'What
light oaths have you pledged?' the old lord demanded. 'Come now, girl,
I need
to know the terms, all the terms that Catherine is setting.'
‘I
have
promised to live with her should I ever leave here,' Alys said.
The
old
lord nodded. 'And she was satisfied with that? Sounds very thin to me.'
'She
thinks Hugo will take another wife from far away,' Alys said. 'She does
not
know that I carry Hugo's child in my belly. She is a fool. Her own
worries and
her own fears blind her. Not even her ladies have dared to tell her
that I
carry Hugo's child. She is so selfish, so drowned in her own needs,
that she
does not even see me. She understands nothing. She thinks I am a
passing fancy,
she does not see clearly enough to see me as Hugo's lady.'
The
old
lord had turned away, Alys could not see his face. But the stillness of
his
back warned her.
'You
thought that you would be the new wife?' he asked.
Alys
found that her breath was coming fast. The sense of fear and anger in
her belly
which she had felt while watching Hugo flirting in the courtyard was
flooding
back. She felt her face grow cold and then flushed.
'Yes,'
she said bravely. 'I may not be noble and I bring no dowry. But I am
the only
woman ever to conceive and to carry his child. When my son is born he
will be
the only heir you have. You know as well as I that Catherine is not
infertile -
you have had physician after physician to look at her. You know it is
Hugo's
seed which is weak. If you bring another wife you will only have
another barren
marriage. It is only I who can conceive with Hugo. Only I who can carry
his
child full term. When I give birth to a son in the springtime you do
not dare
not to have us wed by then, and the child legitimate!'
The
old
lord, his back still turned, threw back his head and roared with cruel,
mirthless laughter. Alys smiled nervously, hoping to share his humour.
'I
dare?' he asked, turning around to face her. 'You tell me: I do not
dare? Oh,
my pretty slut, I dare greater things than that!' He stepped across the
chamber
and thrust his bony hands in front of her face, counting off points on
his
fingers. 'One: Hugo is not to marry a base woman from God knows where,
of God
knows what family or parents. Two: I don't take gambles on
appearances.' He
patted her lightly in the belly with the back of his hand. 'You could
have a
cripple in there, like Catherine had. You could have a girl.' He spoke
as if
cripple and girl were equally abhorrent. 'You could have a dead baby or
an
idiot boy.'
Instinctively
Alys put her hands over her belly as if to block out the words. He
pushed her
hands away. 'Or wind. You could fail to go full term,' he said cruelly.
'You
could miscarry like Catherine. You have six months to get through yet,
my
little whore, it's not likely I'll buy without seeing what I'm getting,
is it?'
Mutely
Alys stared up at him, her hands in her lap, palms uppermost. 'And
thirdly,' he
said loudly. 'If it is a son, and hale and hearty, Hugo does not marry
you, you
little fool. We make the son legitimate! I adopt him as my heir. We
want the
child, we don't want you! We never wanted you except for clerking and
Hugo's
pleasure!' Alys was white-faced, her hands were shaking. 'What made you
think
you could snare me, you little slut? Have you forgotten who I am? You
seem to
have forgotten your own base blood as soon as you had colours on your
back. But
me? Have you forgotten who I am? I am the lord of all the land around
me for
hundreds of miles! My family was planted here by William the Norman
King
himself, and I have fought and schemed for every acre under my foot.
You might
forget yourself - God knows you're not memorable! But me? Have you
forgotten my
family? Have you forgotten my power? Have you forgotten my pride? Have
you
forgotten who I am?'
Alys
rose unsteadily to her feet. 'I am unwell,' she said. She could feel
her face
trembling. It was hard to form the words. 'I will leave you, my lord,'
she
said.
'Sit
down, sit down,' Lord Hugh said impatiently, his anger blown away in a
moment.
He thrust her into the chair and stamped over to the table and poured
her a
glass of wine. Alys took it and sipped. He watched the colour creep
back into
her cheeks.
'I
warned you,' he said gently. 'I warned you not to try to overleap the
boundaries, God's own boundaries, between the noble and the rest.'
The
wine was steadying Alys. 'Hugo loves me,' she insisted softly.
The
old
lord shook his head. 'Alys, don't talk like a fool!' he begged. 'You
please
Hugo. You are a pretty woman, desirable and hot. Any man would want
you. If I
were not frail and old, I'd have you myself. But don't think these
things are
decided on whim, on pleasure in a face, or a night's lust. Not even the
King
himself consults his appetites in this. It's a political decision,
always
political. Hunting for heirs, hunting for new alliances. Making power,
consolidating power. Women are just pawns in this game. Hugo knows as
well as I
that the next marriage has to be done well, to our advantage. We need a
connection with a rising family of the southeast - someone close to the
King.
Hugo is right - the King is more and more the source of power, of
wealth. We
need a family high in favour at court.'
Alys
put down the glass. 'And do you have one in mind?' she asked bitterly.
'I
have
three!' the old lord said triumphantly. 'The de Bercy family, they have
a wench
of twelve they would let us have, the Beause family - they have a girl
too young,
only nine - but if she is big and forward for her age she might do. And
the
Mumsett family - they have a girl on their hands whose marriage
contract has
collapsed. She's twenty. The right age for Hugo. I need to know why her
engagement failed, but she might do.'
The wine was spreading through Alys' body like despair. 'I did not know,' she said dully. 'You never spoke of these to me. You never wrote to them. You never received letters from them. I did not know. How have you made these arrangements? I never wrote for you.'
Lord
Hugh chuckled. 'Did you think you
saw all
my letters?' he asked. 'Did you not think that David writes for me, in
Latin,
aye, in English and Italian, or French too? Did you not think that Hugo
writes
for me sometimes? Did you not think that when it is deep, deep secret
then I
write for myself and send it out by a bird, releasing the bird with my
own
hands so that no one knows but me and a clever, secretive bird?'
Alys
shook her head. 'I thought you trusted me alone,' she said. 'I thought
I was
close to your heart.'
The
old
lord looked at her with compassion. 'And they call you a wise woman!'
he said
with gentle mockery. 'You are a fool, Alys.'
She
bowed her head.
'What
will become of me?' she asked.
'I'll
keep you as my clerk,' the old lord offered. 'There will always be a
place for
you in my hall. You will nurse your child for the first two years. I
will not
take him away from you before then. When he has tried his first steps I
shall
take him for my own and you can please yourself.'
‘I can
stay here?' Alys asked.
'As
his
nurse, if you watch your tongue. As long as Hugo's new wife does not
object.
She will have the rearing of your son. He will be brought up as her
child.'
'She
gets Hugo and the castle and my son,' Alys said numbly. 'This girl you
do not
even know. She gets Hugo and the castle and my son and I get nothing.'
Lord
Hugh nodded. ‘I could send you to France to a nunnery when the baby is
taken
from you,' he offered. 'I'll give you a dowry and the name of a dead
man. You
could go back to the nunnery as a widow. I will do that for you.'
'I
have
lost my faith,' Alys said with weary dignity. 'Step by step in this
castle I
have fallen into sin and lost what little faith I ever had. The life I
have led
here would have robbed the faith of a saint.'
The
old
lord laughed shortly. 'Forgive me,' he said. ‘I am just a layman, I
cannot
dispute these things. But surely the life you lived here would have
proved a
saint. This should have been a good test for a little fledgling saint.'
Alys
bowed her head under his mockery. 'Well then, you have your final
haven,' he
said, a ripple of laughter in the back of his voice. Alys looked at him
dumbly.
'Catherine
and the manor-house!' he said, his laughter spilling out. 'And the rest
of your
nights with Catherine's fat body bouncing up and down on you and poking
in her
fingers where you want a cock!'
He
exploded into laughter, unstoppable, genuine guffaws, ignoring Alys
sitting
frozen at the table. Then he broke off and mopped his eyes. 'What a
haven, my
little one!' he said. 'But you could do worse. You were born for a
meaner
estate than that, after all. It's a triumph for you, in its way. I'll
settle
some land on you as I promised, and Catherine shall have a fine enough
manor.
It is better than nothing, Alys; and you were born to nothing.'
Alys
sat in silence, her eyes on the table, her cold hands clasped across
her belly.
'Now
to
work,' Lord Hugh said briskly. 'We're holding a sheriff's court this
afternoon
in the great hall. I want to see the cases which are coming up before
me. And
these letters have come from the King's council. An armful of new
instructions
- pursuit of heretics, witchcraft, papists. Treatment of paupers,
upkeep of
roads, bridges. Numbers of big horses each tenant must keep, numbers of
sheep
on lands. Training of young men as archers, banning of the crossbow.
Control of
enclosures, Lord knows what else.' He dumped an armful of papers before
Alys on
the table. 'Sort them into two piles,' he said. 'The ones that require
an
answer at once, that we have to deal with today. And those that can
wait. I'll
read the cases which will come before me this afternoon.'
Alys
bent her head over the papers, smoothed out their creases, stacked them
on one
pile or another. She was not plotting, nor scheming how to turn the
plans for
the marriage to her advantage. She felt as if she had lost her ability
to turn
anything to advantage. She was up against the power and authority of
men. There
was no chance of anything but defeat.
Alys
worked until dinner. Lord Hugh trusted her to draft his replies to
routine
letters and then read them back to him for his scrawled signature and
the stamp
of his seal. However, some things he kept to himself. There were
letters from
London which came in a packet of linen with the seams stitched and
sealed. He
cut it open, sitting in his chair by the fireside, and burned each of
the
secret pages after he had read it.
At
noon
David came to the chamber. 'Dinner is ready, my lord,' he said.
Lord
Hugh started up from his thoughts and stretched his arm out to Alys.
'Come
away, Alys,' he said kindly. 'Come down to dinner with me. This is
weary work
for you, are you sure you are not too tired?'
Alys
rose from the table and followed him from the room. She saw David's
acute
glance at the whiteness of her face and the slope of her shoulders.
'Does
it fare merrily with you, Alys?' he asked. 'Merrily, merrily?'
She
looked at him without bothering to conceal her dislike. 'I thank you
for your
wishes,' she said. 'I hope they come back to you threefold.'
The
dwarf scowled. He clenched his hand into the fist with thumb between
second and
third fingers, the old protection against witchcraft, crossed himself
with the
fist, and kissed his thumb.
Alys
laughed in his glowering face. 'Mind Father Stephen does not see you,'
she
said. 'He would accuse you of popish practices!'
The
dwarf muttered something behind her as Alys, with her head high,
followed the
old lord down the stairs and into the great hall.
Hugo
and Stephen were placed either side of Lord Hugh, Stephen on his right
in
honour of his return to the castle and to mark the old lord's favour.
And the
power of the new Church, Alys thought sourly. Alys was seated on the
other side
of Stephen.
She
said nothing while the servers brought the silver ewers and bowls and
Lord Hugh
and then all of them washed their hands and dried them on the napkins.
David
watched over the pouring of the wine and then the pottage was served.
'Are
you well, Mistress Alys?' Stephen asked her courteously.
'I
thank you, yes,' Alys replied. 'A little weary. My lord has made me
work hard
this morning. He had to reply to the King's letters and we have the
sheriff's
court here this afternoon.'
'Hugo
and I have added to the burdens of the court,' Stephen said. 'We took
up a
witch today.'
The
tables nearest to the high table fell silent, the diners strained
forward to
listen. Most people crossed themselves. Alys felt her throat tighten.
'My
lord!' she exclaimed. She glanced down the table at Hugo. 'God keep you
both
safe and well!'
'That
is my prayer,' Stephen said. 'And it is my duty to preserve myself and
my
bishop's diocese from these evil creatures.' He glanced around him and
raised
his voice so that they could all hear him. 'There is no defence against
witchcraft except fasting, penitence and prayer,' he said. 'No
subscribing to
another witch to protect you. That way you fall deeper and deeper into
the
hands of the one who is their master, who stalks this earth seeking for
souls.
The True Church of England will protect you by seeking out all witches
and
destroying them, root and branch, even down to the smallest, least
twig.' There
was silence. Stephen was impressive. 'Yes,' Alys said. 'We must all be
glad of
your vigilance.'
He
turned his head to her. 'I have not forgotten the injustice of your
ordeal,' he
said softly so that no one else could hear. 'I carry it with me in my
heart, to
remind me to avoid popish practices like the ordeal and to keep my own
conscience in these matters. I never use the ordeal in my work. I
question -
question with sight of the rack, and then with torture only where
necessary -
but I never test a witch with an ordeal any more. I made a mistake that
day in
giving way to Lord Hugh and Lady Catherine. I have never made that
mistake
again.'
'But
you torture?' Alys asked. Her voice trembled slightly. She sipped her
wine.
'Only
as it is ordered, for those suspected of felonies,' Stephen replied
gently.
'The law is strict in this matter. First comes questioning, then
showing the
rack to the prisoner and questioning again, and then, and only then, is
questioning under torture allowed. When I know I am doing God's work in
this
godless world, and obeying the law in this lawless world, I can do my
duty
without anger or malice; or fear that I am doing wrong through my own
blindness.'
Alys
stretched her hand to her wine again. She saw it was shaking. She hid
both her
hands in her lap, out of sight under the damask tablecloth.
'And
who is this witch you took up today?' she asked.
'The
old woman you accused,' Stephen said. 'The old woman who lives by the
river on
the moor. We were riding out that way hunting and we met with the
soldiers who
were taking her over the border to Westmorland -as you desired.'
'There
must be some mistake,' Alys said breathlessly. 'I never accused her of
being a
witch. She frightened me. She came on me alone in the wood. She called
me by
another name. But she was a harmless old woman. No witch.' Alys could
hardly
speak over the noise of her pulse in her head. She had no breath for
anything
more than short sentences.
Stephen
shook his head. 'When we stopped to see that they handled her gently -
soldiers
like a game, you know - she asked who we were and when we told her
Hugo's name,
she cursed him.' 'She would not!' Alys exclaimed. Stephen nodded. 'She
named
him as the destroyer of the nunnery and of the holy places. She said
that he
would die without an heir because he had done blasphemy and sacrilege
and that
the vengeance of her god was upon him. She called on him to repent
before more
women voided the devil's slime, which is all that he can father. And
she begged
him to release a woman named Ann. That was the last thing she said -
let her
go!'
'This
is awful,' Alys said. 'But just the ravings of a mad woman.'
Stephen
shook his head. ‘I have been appointed by my bishop to search out these
witches,' he said. 'There is one in every village, there are dozens in
every
town. We must root them out. People are frail, they run to these
wizards in
times of trouble instead of fasting and praying. The devil is
everywhere and
these are troubled times. We have to fight against the devil, we have
to fight
against witches.'
Alys
gave
a trembling little laugh. 'You are frightening me!' she protested.
Stephen
broke off. 'Forgive me,' he said. 'I did not mean to. I am hot in the
pursuit
of evil, I forgot your condition and the delicacy of your sex.'
There
was a little pause.
'And
this mad old woman,' Alys said lightly. 'Won't you let her go? I should
be
sorry if my complaint against her brought her to this charge.'
Stephen
shook his head. 'You misunderstand the seriousness of her crime,' he
said.
'When she speaks of her god it is clear she is speaking of the devil,
for we
know that the Holy God does not curse men. He sends misfortune to try
them, for
love of them. When she speaks of Hugo as a destroyer of the popish
false
church, it is the devil crying out against our glorious crusade. We are
snatching souls from the devil every day. He enjoyed an easy time with
the
Romish priests feeding people with lies and fears and superstitions and
magic
of all kinds. Now we are pushing the light of God across the country
and
casting the devil - and his followers like this old woman - into the
fiery
furnace.'
The
brightness of the sunlight through the high east windows dazzled Alys,
the room
was spinning around her as Stephen spoke. 'Oh don't!' she said, in
sudden
agony. 'Stephen, remember how it was for me when you gave me the
ordeal.
Remember my terror! Spare this poor old woman and send her away, send
her to
Scotland! Send her to France! Spare the foolish old thing. She did not
know
what she was saying, she is mad. I saw it when I met her. She is mad.'
'Then
how did she know of Catherine's illness, if not through sorcery?'
Stephen
asked. 'It has been kept most quiet. Only you and Catherine's ladies
and Hugo
knew of it. Not even my Lord Hugh knew of her scouring white slime.'
'These
things are talked of,' Alys said rapidly. 'Gossip is everywhere. She is
probably one of those horrible old women who sit in the chimney seat
and
chatter all day. I sent her a gown and some food, she probably gossiped
with
the messenger. Don't burn her for being a foolish, ugly, old woman,
Stephen!'
'We
won't burn her,' Stephen said.
Alys
looked up into his pale, determined face. 'You won't?' she asked. 'I
thought
you said you would cast her into the fire.'
'I
meant that when she dies she must face the flames of hell, the fire of
the
afterlife,' Stephen said.
'Oh,'
Alys said. 'I misunderstood you.' She breathed out on a little laugh.
'I am so
relieved,' she said. She put her hand to her throat and felt her
hammering
pulse quieten beneath her touch. 'You won't burn her,' Alys said again.
'You
won't burn her.' She laughed uneasily. 'Here I was, trembling with fear
that I
had brought an old lady to the stake!' she said. 'I was fearful for
her. But
you won't burn her, even if she should be charged. Even if she were
found
guilty. You won't have her burned.' 'No,' Stephen replied. 'We hang
witches.'
When
Alys came to her senses she was lying in her bed, the dark green tester
she so
loved above her, the curtains half drawn around her to shade her face
from the
bright sunlight pouring in the arrow-slit window. For a moment she
could not
remember the time, nor the day. She smiled like a child at the richness
of the
fabric all around her, and stretched. Then she heard the soft crackle
of a fire
in her grate, and was aware of the warmth of the setting sun on her
whitewashed
walls. Then she remembered the quiet terror of Stephen's promise, and
Mother
Hildebrande facing a charge of witchcraft that afternoon, and she cried
out and
sat upright in bed.
Mary
was
at her side. 'My lady,' she said anxiously. 'My lady.'
'What
time is it?' Alys asked urgently. 'I don't know,' Mary said, surprised. 'About five o'clock, I
suppose. The people
are just leaving from the trials. It is not suppertime.'
'The
trials are over?' Alys asked.
Mary
nodded. 'Yes, my lady.' She looked anxiously at Alys. 'Will you tell me
what I
can fetch you?' she asked. 'Should you not have something from your
chest of
herbs? You are very pale, my lady. You fainted at dinner and they
carried you
up here like a dead woman. You have lain still all this long time. The
old lord
himself came up to see you. Have you nothing I may fetch you?'
'What
happened at the trials?' Alys asked.
Mary
frowned. 'I have been up here with you,' she said, with a trace of
resentment.
'So I couldn't see nor hear them. But Mistress Herring told me that
they
branded one man for thieving and Farmer Silter was warned for moving
his
boundary posts. Peter Marwick's son was summoned -'
'Not
them,' Alys interrupted. 'The old woman charged with witchcraft.'
'They
didn't try her,' Mary said. 'They questioned her under torture and she
is not a
witch. They released her from the charge of witchcraft.'
Alys
felt a sense of ease flow through her whole body, from her aching jaw,
through
her clenched fists, to the soles of her feet. Her skin glowed as if she
had
just stepped, tinglingly clean, from a bath. She felt the blood rise up
in her
veins and warm her clammy skin.
'They
released her,' she said, tasting hope, as sweet as new desire.
They
changed the charge,' Mary said. 'She is to face a charge of heresy. She
will be
tried tomorrow in a second day of the court's sessions.'
Alys
felt the room heave and yaw like a sailing ship out of control. She
clung to the
fine linen sheets as if they were safety lines in a storm-rolling sea.
'I
can't hear,' she said pitifully. 'I did not hear you, Mary. Say it
again.'
‘I
said
she is to be tried tomorrow for heresy,' Mary said loudly in her
rounded
country accent, like one talking to an old deaf woman. 'They say she is
no
witch, but a heretic. A papist. They will try her tomorrow after
dinner.'
Alys
lay back against the pillows, her eyes shut. The child in her belly
stirred and
kicked against the pounding of Alys' rapid pulse. Alys felt her sins
massing
against her. Her stomach churned in terror, her heart fluttered.
'Get a
bowl,' she said thickly to Mary. ‘I am going to be sick.'
Mary
held the bowl while Alys vomited a stream of undigested pottage from
dinner and
then her breakfast of bread and meat and ale, and then yellow bile,
until she
was retching and retching on an empty belly and bringing up nothing but
clear
saliva.
Mary
whipped the bowl out of the room and came back with a ewer and a napkin
moistened
with cold water. She sponged Alys' face and her neck - hot and sweaty
under the
heavy weight of her hair. She held a glass of water to her lips.
'Is it
the sweating sickness?' she asked Alys anxiously. 'Or is the child
pressing
against your belly too hard? The old lord should not make you work so!
Can I
fetch you something to eat?' Alys leaned forward. 'Help me up,' she
said. Mary
protested but Alys threw back the covers and held out her hands. 'Help
me,' she
ordered.
They
had laid her on her bed in her blue gown and put covers over her. The
gown was
hot and creased. Take this off,' Alys said.
Mary
unfastened the gown and shook it out, laying it in the chest.
'I
will
wear my green gown,' Alys said. Mary slipped it on over Alys' head.
Alys stood
still and let her dress her, like an old pagan stone on the moors,
dressed with
scarves.
Her
legs were trembling and Mary helped her across the gallery and down the
stairs
to the great hall. The servants were pulling the tables and benches
back into
their usual places after the disruption of the trial. She let Mary help
her to
the door to the garden and then she waved her away. She stepped out of
the
shade of the hall on to the cobblestones of the yard and out into the
garden to
find the old lord. He was sitting in the arbour, enjoying the evening
sunshine.
Eliza Herring and Margery were sitting beside him. Eliza was playing
her lute.
Alys
paused for a moment, watching them. The old lord's white hair shone in
the
sunshine, Eliza and Margery's dresses were bright - yellow and blue,
summertime
colours. Behind Lord Hugh's head an espaliered peach tree was showing
fat
fruits. Before them were half a dozen formal flower-beds with twisting
gravel
paths around them edged with box. And on the left, in the far corner of
the
castle wall, was the tower with the staircase to the second storey and
a
doorway only on the second storey. The lower storey had neither windows
nor
door. It was a blind tower of solid stone. It was the prison tower and
the only
way into it was through a trapdoor in the guardroom floor down rough
steps. And
the only way out (they said as a joke) was in a coffin.
Alys
walked across the grass, her green gown hushing around her legs,
through the
maze of paths, a couple of hens and a cock scattering before her, until
she
came before Lord Hugh.
'Alys,'
he said with pleasure. 'Are you better already? You gave us a fright.
I've
never seen so deep a swoon. Sit down! Sit down!'
He
brushed Eliza and Margery off the seat and waved them away. They
curtsied and
wandered off, their heads together. Alys sat on the sun-warmed bench
beside
Lord Hugh.
'How
sweet the air smells,' she said idly. 'And how well the garden is
doing.'
'It's
not big enough,' Lord Hugh said. 'My wife always wanted me to lay a
formal
pleasure garden. But I never had the time, nor the desire to throw
money away
for a posy of flowers.' He flapped his hand irritably at the hens which
were
picking at the flower-beds. 'They'd eat them all,' he said. 'Where's
the
kitchen-lad? They should not be out here!'
Alys
smiled. 'What was she like, your wife?' she asked.
Lord
Hugh thought. 'Oh, good,' he said vaguely. 'Wellborn, religious. Dull.'
He
racked his brains. 'She read a good deal,' he said. 'Lives of the
saints,
church books, that sort of thing. She had very black hair - that was
her best
feature. Long, thick, black hair. Hugo has her hair.'
'Did
she die young?' Alys asked. The old lord shook his head. 'Middling,' he
said.
'She was forty or thereabouts - a good life for a woman. She was ill
with all
her childbirths. And miscarriages. Lord! She must have had a dozen. And
at the
end all we had to show for it was two worthless daughters and Hugo.'
A
companionable silence fell between them, Lord Hugh smiling at some old
memory,
Alys sitting beside him, composed.
'That
old woman,' she said casually. 'What became of her?'
'The
suspected witch?' Hugh roused himself. 'Oh, she was no witch. They put
her to
question under torture and she said nothing that could be called
witchcraft.
Even Stephen accepted that, and he sees a warlock in every doorway.'
Alys
chuckled, a strained, unconvincing sound. 'He's very enthusiastic,' she
said.
Lord
Hugh cocked an eyebrow at her. 'Everything to gain,' he said. 'It's the
King's
Church now. Progress upward and there is the King's court at the top
and God's
heaven beyond that. A tempting enough prospect, I should think.' Alys
smiled
and nodded.
'I
don't know where it will all end,' he said. 'I shan't see the end of
it, that's
for sure. I used to think they would go back to the old ways but I
can't see
how any more. The abbeys are half destroyed, the priests have all taken
the
oath to honour the King. Still, it is Hugo's inheritance. And he's all
for the
new ways. He will have to find his path through them. I don't doubt he
has the
skill. As Stephen ascends, Hugo rises too. They have hitched their
stars
together.' Alys nodded again. 'The old woman ...' she started.
'A
papist,' the old lord said. 'Accused of heresy and treason. When they
got her
off the rack and drenched her with cold water until she could speak
again, she
denounced them all, and said she was ready to die for her faith. We'll
try her
tomorrow. I doubt she'll recant. She's a powerful woman.'
'Can't
she be released?' Alys asked. 'Shipped off somewhere? She's such an old
lady
and she will die soon anyway. She's no danger to anyone.'
Lord
Hugh shook his head. 'Not now she's arrested,' he said pedantically.
'She's in
the court records, Stephen knows of her. His report goes to his bishop,
mine
goes to the council. She can't just disappear. She has to be tried and
found
innocent or guilty.'
'But
on
what you say, she's bound to be guilty!' Alys exclaimed. 'Unless she
recants,
she's bound to be found guilty.'
The
old
lord shrugged. 'Yes,' he said simply. He leaned his head back against
the
sun-warmed stones. 'You could bake bread on this wall,' he said. 'It
holds the
heat like an oven.'
'It
serves no good purpose to execute her,' Alys insisted. 'She's so old
and frail
that people will hate you and Hugo for hurting an old woman. They could
turn
against you. It's hardly worth the risk.'
The
old
lord turned his head to Alys. 'It's out of my hands,' he said gently.
'She is
accused before the court and I will try her tomorrow. Stephen will be
reasoning
with her and questioning her. She wanted no one to represent her. If
she does
not repent, take the Oath of Supremacy and acknowledge the King as head
of the
Church, then she has to die. It's not whim, Alys. It's the law.'
'Couldn't
you . ..' Alys started.
Lord
Hugh turned his head towards Alys and his look was acute. 'Do you know
her?' he
asked sharply. 'Was she from your old Order? Are you pleading for her?'
Alys
met his eyes squarely. 'No,' she said. 'I have never seen her before in
my
life. She means nothing to me, nothing. I am just sorry for her. Such a
foolish
old woman to die for her delusions. I feel distressed that my complaint
has
brought her here, nothing more.'
Hugh
leaned forward and clapped his hands at the hens. They scuttered out of
reach.
The cock flapped his wings and jumped awkwardly to the flat top of the
little
box-hedge. He stretched his neck and crowed.
Alys
watched the deep emerald shimmer on his throat.
Lord
Hugh shook his head. 'It's not your fault,' he said. 'She would have
preached
or taught people. She would have gathered people around her. She would
have
come to our attention one way or another. And then we would have had to
take
her up. She is an old fool looking for sainthood, that one. She would
never
have taken the easy route, never altered her faith and her vows to suit
the
times. She's a foolish old martyr. Not a wise woman like you, Alys.'
Alys
walked slowly into the castle through the doorway of the great hall.
After the
golden sunshine of the garden the smoky darkness of the great hall was
a
relief. She walked without purpose, without direction. Hugo was riding
out to
his new house, practising archery, riding at the dummy in the
tilt-yard, or
trifling with one plaything or another. Hugo would make no difference.
Alys
paused at the top of the hall and leaned against the table where the
senior
soldiers sat for their dinner.
Hugo
was like a child. His father's long life and power had kept Hugo as a
merry
child - happy enough when things were going well, sullen and resentful
when his
will was crossed. He would not save Mother Hildebrande at Alys'
request. He
would not care enough. Not for her - a poor old woman who should have
died last
year. Not for Alys.
There
were men sleeping off their dinnertime ale in the shadows of the hall,
on the
benches under the tables. Alys walked quietly past them, mounted the
dais and
drew back the hanging over the lord's doorway. One of them turning over
in his
sleep caught sight of her and crossed himself. Alys saw his gesture.
Superstition hung around her still. She must remember that she was not
safe
herself. She put a hand to her belly. Her only safety was in the baby
she
carried: Hugo's son. She started wearily to climb the stairs to the
ladies'
gallery.
She
might carry Hugo's son but the old lord had planned all along to take
the child
from her and adopt him as his own. Alys had not thought of that. She
had not
known that such things could be done. She had thought that the baby boy
would
be her passport into the family. She paused on the stairs, waiting for
her
breath to come back and the dancing black spots to go from her vision.
'I am
ill,' she said aloud.
If she
was ill then Catherine would not insist that they share a bed, Lord
Hugh would
not threaten her. If she was ill and in her own bed then no one could
blame her
when Mother Hildebrande rushed upon martyrdom without Alys saying one
word to
save her. No one could blame Alys for Mother Hildebrande's hunger for
sainthood,
especially if Alys were ill.
'I am
ill,' she said again with more conviction. 'Very ill.'
She
walked slowly up the steps to the ladies' gallery and opened the door.
It was
empty and quiet. Mary was sitting at the fireside, stitching some plain
work.
She laid it aside when Alys walked in and bobbed her a curtsey.
'Lady
Catherine has been asking for you, my Lady Alys,' she said pleasantly.
'Shall I
tell her you are here? Or should you lie down?'
Alys
looked at her with dislike. 'I will see Lady Catherine,' she said. 'She
was
disturbed when she looked from her window and saw you flirting with her
husband
in the courtyard.'
Mary
gave a little gasp of surprise. 'The young Lord Hugo will take his
pleasures
where he wishes,' Alys said distantly. 'But do not flaunt yourself,
Mary. If
you distress Lady Catherine she will turn you out of the castle.'
Mary's
cheeks were blazing. 'I am sorry, my lady,' she said. 'It was just
words and
laughter.'
Alys'
look was as sour as if she had never heard words or laughter, or seen
Hugo's
hot, merry smile. 'If your humour is lascivious you had better avoid
the young
lord,' she said coldly. 'It would go very ill for you indeed if you
offend his
wife. You told me yourself your father is poor and out of work. I
suppose it
would be difficult for all of them at home if you returned without your
wages
and without hope of work in service again.'
Mary
dipped her head. 'I beg your pardon, my lady,' she said humbly. 'It
won't
happen again.'
Alys
nodded and went into Catherine's room, the taste of spite very sweet
and full
in her mouth.
Catherine
was dressed, sitting in a chair by the window, looking out over the
courtyard
and the garden, the sun-drenched wall of the inner manse and the tops
of the
apple trees in the outer manse. The smooth round prison tower stood
like a dark
shadow behind the little bakehouse. Alys, looking past Catherine out of
the
window, saw nothing else.
'How
well you are looking, Catherine!' Alys said. Her voice was high and
sharp, the words
a babble. 'Are you feeling better?'
Catherine's
face when she turned to Alys was bleak with sorrow. The old hard lines
had
reappeared from the rosy plumpness of pregnancy.
‘I
just
saw you in the garden,' she said. 'Talking to the old lord.' Alys
nodded, her
face alert.
‘I
have
been a fool,' Catherine said suddenly. ‘I called your girl in here and
asked
her if you were with child and she curtsied to me and said, "Yes, my
lady,"
as if it were a known fact, as if everyone knew!' Alys drew up a chair
and sat
down. 'Is it Hugo's?' Catherine asked fiercely. 'Is it Hugo's child? I
must
have been blind not to see it before. When you walked across the garden
I could
see how you thrust your belly forward. Are you with child, Alys? Hugo's
child?'
Alys nodded. 'Yes,' she said quietly. Catherine opened her mouth wide
and began
to cry soundlessly. Great drops of tears rolled down her sallow face.
She cried
shamelessly like a hurt child, her mouth gaping wide. Alys could see
the white
unhealthy furring on her tongue and the blackness of one bad tooth.
Catherine
snatched a breath and swallowed her grief. 'From when?' she asked.
'June,'
Alys said precisely. ‘I will give birth in April. I am three months
pregnant
now.'
Catherine
nodded, and kept nodding, like a little rocking doll. 'So it was all
lies,' she
said. She took a scrap of linen from her sleeve and mopped at her wet
face,
still nodding. 'You will not come with me to the farm, that was all
lies. You
will stay here and have Hugo's child and hope to rise higher and higher
into
his favour and into the favour of the old lord.' Alys said nothing.
Catherine
gulped back sobs like a carp bubbling in the fish ponds. 'And while I
thought
that you would come to love me and that you were pledged to live with
me you
were scheming to have me sent away so that you and Hugo could romp
together in
public,' Catherine said, nodding wildly. 'You have shamed me, Alys. You
have
shamed me before the whole castle, before the whole town, before the
country. I
thought that you were my friend, that you would choose me instead of
Hugo. But
all this morning when I was talking with you and planning our life
together you
were playing with me. Scheming to have me sent away.'
Alys
sat still as a rock. She felt the high flood-tide of Catherine's anger
and
grief wash around her but leave her dry.
'You
have betrayed me,' Catherine said. 'You are a false friend. You are
untrue.'
She choked on another rich sob. 'You act the whore with Hugo and you
are sweet
as a daughter to the old lord,' she said. 'You play the false friend
with me
and you queen it among my women. There is no truth in you, Alys.
Nowhere is
there a scrap of honour or truth. You are meaningless, Alys,
meaningless!'
Alys,
her eyes on the round tower without windows, inclined her head. What
Catherine
said was probably true. 'Meaningless'. What would they be doing with
Mother
Hildebrande in there now? Alys rose to her feet. 'I am not well,' she
said. 'I
am going to my chamber to rest before supper.'
Catherine
looked up at her pitifully, her sallow face wet with her tears. 'You
say
nothing to me?' she asked. 'You will leave me here as I am, grieved and
angry?
You do not defend yourself, you do not even try to explain your false
faith?
Your disloyalty? Your dishonour?'
Alys
glanced towards the round tower once more as she turned to the door.
'Disloyalty?' Alys repeated. 'Dishonour?' She gave a shrill little
laugh. 'This
is nothing, Catherine! Nothing!'
'But
you have lied to my face,' Catherine accused her. 'You promised to be
my
friend, promised to be my lover. I know you are false.'
Alys
shrugged. ‘I am unwell,' she said flatly. 'I am too ill. You will have
to bear
your pain, Catherine. I cannot be responsible. It is too much for me.'
Catherine's
face grew pale. 'Are you sick as I was?' she demanded. 'Is his child
turning
rotten inside you, as mine did? Is that all that Hugo can father?
Candlewax?'
Alys' dream of the maggot-filled roadside and then the little dolls
hastening
to Castleton, seeking their mother, rose very vividly in her mind. She
blinked
hard and shook her head to rid herself of the walking dolls. 'No,' she
said.
She put her hands on her belly as if to hold the baby safe. 'My baby is
whole
and well,' she said. 'Not like yours.'
That
gesture - the simple gesture of pregnancy -broke Catherine's anger into
grief.
'Alys! I forgive you! I forgive you everything! The deceit and the
lies, the
shame you have laid on me. Your infidelity with my husband! I forgive
you if
you will come with me. They will have me thrown out of the castle, I
shall have
to go. Come with me, Alys! We will look after your son together. He
will be my
child as well as yours. I will make him my heir! My heir, Alys. Heir to
the
manor that they will give me and my dowry which they will return. You
will be
rich with me. You will be safe with me and so will your son!'
For a
moment Alys hesitated, weighing the odds, scanning her chances. Then
she shook
her head. 'No, Catherine,' she said coldly. 'You are finished. Here in
the
castle they are finished with you and will be rid of you. Hugo will
never touch
you again. The old lord will never see you. I was playing with your
desires to
get you to leave without making an uproar, and to do my lord a service
in
furthering his ends. I never meant to go with you. I never wanted your
love.'
Catherine's
hands were over her mouth. Her wide eyes stared at Alys over her spread
fingers. 'You're cruel!' she said disbelievingly. 'Cruel! You came to
my bed
with Hugo, you held me in your arms this very morning! You nursed me in
my
sickness and kept my secret safe.'
Alys
shrugged and opened the door. 'It meant nothing,' she said coldly. 'You
mean
nothing. You should have drowned in the river that day, Catherine. All
the
destinies are coming homeward like evil pigeons. She will burn, and you
will
drown. There is no escaping your fate, Catherine. There is no escape
for her.'
Catherine
looked around wildly. 'What d'you mean, Alys? What fate? And who will
burn?'
Alys'
face was sour and weary. 'Just go, Catherine,' she said. 'Your time is
finished
here. Just go.'
She
closed the door on Catherine's wail of protest and went across the
ladies'
gallery. The other women had come in from the garden and were taking
off their
head-dresses and combing through their hair, complaining of the heat.
Alys went
through them all like a cold shadow.
'What
ails my lady?' Ruth asked, as they heard Catherine's cries and saw Alys
resentful face. 'Shall I go to her?'
Alys
shrugged. 'She's to leave the castle,' she said succinctly. 'My lord
has
ordered it. She's to be set aside, the marriage annulled.'
There
was a moment's silence and then an explosion of chatter. Alys threw her
hands
up to fend off the hysterical questions. 'Ask her yourself! Ask her
yourself!'
she said. 'But remember when you give her your service that she's soon
to be a
farmer on a little manor at the back end of nowhere. She's Lady
Catherine no
more.'
Alys
smiled at the sudden stillness in the room. Each one of them was
silent,
fearful for their own future. Slowly, one after another, they looked to
her.
'I
will
wash before supper,' Alys said composedly. 'Eliza, order a bath for me.
Margery, order them to light a fire in my bedroom. Ruth, please mend my
blue
gown, I kicked out the hem the other day when I was walking upstairs.
Mary -'
she looked around. The girl was standing by the chamber door, her eyes
cast
down, the picture of the perfect maidservant. 'Lay out my linen, I will
wear a
fresh shift.'
Alys
watched them move to do her bidding. Her women.
Behind
her door Catherine wept as her room grew darker. When suppertime came
no one
called her, and no one brought her food. She lay on her bed, sobbing
into her
pillow, and heard the noises of eating and drinking and laughter from
the hall
below. It grew darker, no one came to light her fire nor bring her
candles.
They left her in the cool evening air in darkness.
She
heard the women come upstairs from the hall and heard their low-voiced
chatter.
She heard Alys' laughter, edgy and shrill. But no one came to her door.
No one
came to see if they could be of service to her.
The
silence from Catherine's chamber put a blight on the gallery. No
decision had
been made but somehow the new positions had coalesced. Hugo did not ask
after
Catherine, the old lord had not spoken of her since the miscarriage.
And now
Catherine's own women, who had served her since she was a girl, looked
away
from her shut door and did not offer her service. It was as if she were
gone to
live far away over the moors already, thought Alys, or drowned and
buried; and
she laughed again.
'I
heard an odd tale today,' Eliza said, pouring the night-time cup of ale.
Ruth
glanced towards Lady Catherine's door as if she feared her still.
'Tell
it!' Margery said. 'But not too frightening, I need to sleep tonight.'
'I
stepped into Castleton market this morning and met a woman I know
selling
eggs,' Eliza said. 'She had walked the moorland road this morning from
Bowes.'
Alys
looked up from her cup and watched Eliza's face.
'Ahead
of her in the dust in the road she saw the strangest thing,' Eliza said.
Ruth
shuddered and crossed herself. 'I'll not hear talk of the devil,' she
warned.
'I'll not hear it.'
'Hush,'
the others said. 'Go to your chamber, Ruth, if you have not the stomach
for the
tale. What did she see in the dust, Eliza? Go on!'
'She
saw little tracks,' Eliza said mysteriously. Alys felt herself grow
cold.
'Tracks?' she asked.
Eliza
nodded. 'Footprints. The marks of the heels of riding boots, and a pair
of
shoes. As if a woman and two men had been walking on the road.' Margery
shrugged. 'So?' she asked. 'They were tiny,' Eliza said. 'Tiny little
footprints, the size of mice feet, she said "Tiny."'
Mistress
Allingham exclaimed, 'Fairy folk!' She clapped her hands. 'Did she
wish? Did
she wish on the little people's tracks?'
'She
followed them!' Eliza said. 'Two tracks from boots and one track from
shoes,
like two men and a woman.'
The
women shook their heads in amazement. Alys said nothing, she sipped her
ale. It
went down her throat as if it were ice.
'And
the little woman's footprints were dirty,' Eliza said. 'Dirty with
slime like a
snail. Slug juice.'
Ruth
crossed herself abruptly and rose up. 'I'll hear no more,' she said.
'Nonsense to
frighten children!'
The
rest of the women were fascinated. 'And so?' they asked. 'What then?'
'She
bent down and poked the trail with a stick,' Eliza said. 'She would not
touch
it.'
They
shook their heads. Touching slime from one of the fairy folk could
bring all
sorts of dangers.
'She
said it was ...' Eliza whispered. They all leaned closer. 'She said it
was like
candlewax!' Eliza said in triumph. She sat back on her stool and looked
around
at their faces. 'An odd story, isn't it?'
Alys
drained her cup. She noticed her hands were steady. 'Where were these
tiny
tracks?' she asked carelessly. 'On the road, which road? Whereabouts
were
they?'
Eliza
gave up her cup to Margery who put them away in the cupboard with the
empty
pitcher of ale. 'Just a mile above the bridge,' she said. 'From Bowes
Moor
heading into Castleton. And coming closer. A horrible story, is it not?
But she
swore by it.'
Alys
shook her head. 'Tiny tracks!' she said derisively. 'Candlewax! I
thought you
were going to frighten us with a ghost six feet tall!'
Eliza
bridled. 'But it is true ...'
'I'm
weary,' Alys interrupted. 'Fetch Mary for me, Eliza, I'll go to bed.'
Eliza
glanced at the closed door to Catherine's room. 'Should I see if she is
all
right?' she asked Alys. The rest of the women waited for Alys'
decision. Alys,
thinking of the little dolls just a mile from her door this night
smiled
bleakly.
'It
does not matter,' she said. She laughed, a high, sharp laugh while the
women
looked at each other in surprise. 'Nothing is going to matter after
all!' she
said. 'After all this trouble. Nothing matters at all!'
Hugo
blundered into Alys' room as she dozed in her first sleep, making her
jump
awake with fear. 'Is it fire?' she demanded, coming out of sleep. Hugo
laughed
aloud. He had been drinking till late in the hall and was boisterous.
He pulled
the covers off Alys and slapped her rump playfully.
'Heard
the news?' he demanded. 'My marriage is to be annulled. I am to be wed
to a
girl straight from the nursery! And Stephen can get no sense out of the
old
woman from Bowes Moor!'
Alys
snatched the covers back and pulled them up over her shoulders. 'I know
all the
news,' she said sourly. 'Except about the old woman. What is he doing
to her?
Is he hurting her?'
'Oh
no,' Hugo said. 'He's no barbarian. She's an old lady. He's questioning
her and
arguing theology with her. It sounds as if she is holding her own. He
was in a
vile mood after dinner. He told me all about it over a pitcher of
hippocras.
They have been arguing over transubstant-transubstant-trans ...' Hugo
chuckled
and gave up. 'Whether it's bread or meat,' he said vulgarly.
'Will
he let her go?' Alys asked. She sat up in bed. Hugo was flushed and
merry. He
unbuttoned his fine doublet and tossed it towards the chair. It fell on
the
floor and he unbuckled his belt and codpiece, untied his hose and
pulled them
down and slung them all towards the pile of clothing. He came to her
bedside,
his shirt billowing.
'Move
over, wench,' he said contentedly. 'I shall sleep here tonight.'
'Will
he let her go?' Alys asked again. Hugo held her tight around the waist
and
nuzzled his head into her belly.
'Who,
the old woman?' he asked, rearing up, his hair tousled. 'Oh, don't ask
me, Alys,
you know what Stephen is. He wants to do right by his God, and he wants
to do
right by his bishop, and he wants to do right by every simple soul, and
he
wants to do right by himself. If he finds she is an innocent old woman
in error
then he will persuade her to take the oath, let her go, and I will pop
her over
the border into Appleby for you and there will be an end to it.'
Alys
lay back and closed her eyes. 'An end to it,' she said softly.
'Why
not?' Hugo demanded. 'What matters one more old lady or no? Stephen and
I will
be going to London to see the little bride within a month. My father
must be in
his dotage. His preference for me is a child of nine, to be betrothed
in name
alone.' Hugo laughed. 'I care not!' he said. He patted her belly with a
gentle
hand. 'Catherine set aside and you big with my child. A new wife can
come or
wait. It matters little. As long as you give me a son which I can make
my heir,
and then another, until the castle is full of them. I have plenty of
time to
get children, Alys. There is plenty of time. Plenty of time. Plenty of
wealth
and land and ease for all of us.'
Alys
let him rock her in time to his words and slid her arms around his
back. She
found she was smiling.
'You
would not believe what troubles I have had today,' she said. 'Catherine
has
been hysterical, your father threatened to throw me out of the castle
for a
word spoken out of turn, I have been worried sick about the old lady,
and then
Eliza frightened me into fits with some horrid ghost story.'
Hugo
chuckled and reached below the covers to slide Alys' shift up her body.
'My
poor love,' he said. 'You should have come out with me. I was supposed
to ride
over to Cotherstone Manor but I saw such a buck on the way that I
stopped and
chased him. He led us for hours and would you believe I missed him with
a
crossbow? I was close, but I had sweat in my eyes and I could not see.
I missed
him! A clear shot to the heart and all I could see was a blur. William
killed
him for me in the end. I was raging! You shall have him for your dinner
next
week.'
He
penetrated her with a gentle thrust and a gasp of pleasure. 'Be
joyful!' he
said, moving gently inside her. 'We shall be rid of Catherine and she
can do as
she pleases. My father's mind is on a new match and he can think of
nothing
else. Your old lady is holding her own against Stephen and needs
neither your
help nor mine, and these ghosts are terrors for little girls only, not
a woman,
Alys, not a wise woman like you.'
He
sighed, and Alys felt his hand stroke her breast persuasively. She
opened her
legs wider.
'Are
you joyful, little Alys?' he breathed. He started moving more urgently,
consulting his own pleasure.
'I am
well enough,' Alys said. Her mind roamed over the fears and triumphs of
the day
while her body moved accommodatingly under Hugo. She smiled and let him
do what
he would.
'Oh
yes,' said Hugo.
And
then they both were still.
"Alys,'
Hugo said urgently. 'Alys!'
She
woke at once. The moonlight was streaming through the arrow-slit in a
silver
bar across the green and yellow counterpane on the high bed.
'What?'
she demanded, her own fear leaping up at the terror in his voice.
Hugo
was white-faced. 'Mother of God,' he said. 'A dream! I had such a
dream! Tell
me I am awake and it was nonsense!'
The
sheets were wet with his sweat. In the moonlight Alys could see his
hair
sticking damply to his shiny face. His eyes were wide like a man with a
fever.
'Did
you dream of dolls?' Alys cried incautiously. 'Little dolls coming to
the
castle?'
'No!'
Hugo said. He stretched out his hands. They were shaking. 'Mother of
God! I
dreamed my fingers had gone numb. I dreamed my fingernails had gone. I
dreamed
my fingertips were gone. My fingers had gone, as if I had the leprosy.
All I
had were horrid stumps!'
Alys
blenched. 'What a dream!' she said unsteadily. 'But you are awake now,
Hugo.
Don't fear.'
He
threw his arms around her and buried his face in the warm skin of her
neck.
'God alive, I was afraid!' he said. 'The tips of my fingers, Alys, they
were
melted away. Melted like wax!'
Alys
lay very still, her arms around him, and felt him tremble. 'Hush,' she
said, as
if she were speaking to a little child. 'Hush, Hugo my love, my dear.
Hush, you
are safe now.'
After
a
little he stopped shaking and lay quiet in her arms.
'God!
What terrors!' he said. He gave a little laugh for bravado. 'You will
think me
a babe in arms!' he said, embarrassed.
Alys,
lying like a fallen statue in the moonlight, her belly like ice, shook
her head.
'No,' she said. 'I have my nightmares too. Sleep now, Hugo.' He settled
himself
like a child, his head on her shoulder, one arm sprawled across her
body. 'A
dreadful dream!' he said softly.
Alys
put her hand up and stroked his head, the damp, matted curls of his
hair. 'I
was screaming like a babe,' he said with a chuckle.
Alys
gathered him closer still. Soon he was breathing steadily, his fears
fallen
away from him. Alys lay beside him and thought again of all the
terrors, flying
like pigeons with their beady, bright eyes to their homes.
Hugo's
arm across her belly was too heavy. She lifted his hand to free herself
from
the weight, and then she paused. In the darkness she could not see
well, but
she stroked his fingertips with her own. The fingernails were short,
surely
they were shorter than they had been before. She pulled his hand into
the
moonlight to see better. Surely the tips of the fingers were blunt and
the
nails were shorter and squarer at the top, as if they had been rubbed
away.
Alys
gave a little moan of terror, slipped from the bed and pattered over to
the
fire, thrust a taper into the red embers and lit a candle. She walked
back to
the bed, the flickering flame throwing huge shadows all around her. She
walked
slowly, reluctant to know. She thought of the little doll of Hugo which
she had
shaped with such determination and anger all those months ago when she
had
wanted nothing but to be left alone by him. She had smoothed his mouth
and bid
him not call her. She had rubbed away the fingertips and ordered him
not to
feel her. She had scraped away the ears and ordered him not to hear
her. She
had scratched his eyeballs and ordered him to be blind to her. And now
Hugo
dreamed that his fingers were melting, and he had already missed his
shot.
She
sat
on the bed and put the candlestick on the table nearby. She did not
trouble to
shield the light. She had a certainty as deep and as cold as death that
it
would not waken him; he would not be able to see the glow of it through
his
closed eyelids. She took his hand and held it close to the candle so
that she
could see clearly what she feared to see.
The
tips of his fingers were blunt as if they had been nipped off. Hugo's
long
strong hands were shorter, the last joint of each finger
disproportionately
stunted. His fingernails stopped short, square as if they had been
roughly
filed; shorter than the ends of his fingers, cut back. Alys shuddered.
His hand
looked as if someone had pruned the tips of every finger, leaving the
nails
clipped, the plump balls of the fingertips cropped.
She
turned his hand over and looked at it as if she were reading his palm.
The tips
of his fingers were as smooth as the skin of his smiling, sleeping
face. He had
no fingerprints. They were rubbed away. On each fingertip there was
nothing, no
mark, just smooth, pink skin, squared off at the top like an
ill-modelled
statue. Alys gave a little sigh like a groan and sat with his malformed
hand in
her lap for a moment.
She
leaned forward and held the candle high to look at his ears. Already
they were
tiny, the ears of a child. Only Hugo's long curly hair and the caps he
always
wore had prevented her from seeing it before. She looked at his lips.
The sharp
profile of his upper lip was blurred. The attractive, kissable bow of
the upper
lip and the sharp pout of the lower lip had melted. Only the perimeter
of the
dark shadow of stubble marked where his lips should start. The light
flickered
as the candle shook in Alys' hands. On an impulse she bent over him and
gently
shook him.
'Open
your eyes, Hugo!' she said softly. 'Open your eyes a moment!'
He
rolled away from her touch, mumbling something in his sleep, but when
she shook
him again his eyelids flickered open though he was still dreaming. In
the
moment before he closed them again and sank back into sleep, Alys
peered
closely at them. Across each dark pupil there was a tiny trail of
cloudy grey
as if someone had drawn a fingernail across his eyeballs.
Alys
let him sleep and put the candlestick carefully on the bedside table.
She
slipped into bed beside him and piled the pillows up against the heavy
carved
headboard and sat upright, waiting for the dawn. She was cold and white
but she
made no move to pull the covers around her shoulders or to huddle down
beside Hugo's
contented sleeping warmth. Alys sat upright in her rich bed with the
young lord
beside her, his arm thrown lovingly across her, and waited for the dawn
of
another day with her face as grim and fearful as her betrayed mother
Morach had
looked all the years of Alys' childhood, when magic was not enough to
make them
safe.
In the
morning Hugo was in a hurry to be off hunting. Stephen had brought him
a new
horse and he wanted to try its paces. The day was sunny and it would be
too hot
for hard riding later on. Besides, he had to be home early for the
court in the
afternoon. He barely noticed Alys' pale wakefulness.
'Are
you well?' he asked, pausing in the doorway wearing only his shirt.
'You well,
Alys?'
She
blinked at him, her blue eyes strained and red-rimmed from the long
night of
watching. 'I dreamed,' she said. 'Bad dreams.'
'Good
God, so did I!' Hugo said, remembering. 'I dreamed my fingers had gone.
Gone
like a leper. God! What a terror!'
Alys
tried to mirror his relieved grin, but she could not. 'Show me your
fingers,'
she said 'Show me them.' Hugo laughed. 'It was only a dream,
sweetheart. See!'
He stepped back into the room and held out his right hand for Alys to
inspect.
In the bright dawn light from the arrow-slit she looked at the back of
his
hand. The fingernails were perfect, smooth and strong. His fingers were
long
and well-proportioned.
Alys
gave a little hidden gasp of relief and turned his hand over. On each
finger
there was a perfect whorl -his fingertips were sound.
'We're
both as fey as each other!' Hugo exclaimed. He bent down and gave her a
quick
buss on her cheek. 'Let me go, Alys! I'm going hunting!'
'Are
your ears all right?' she demanded, as he went to the door.
He
turned and grinned at her, as feckless as a child. 'Yes! Yes! Every
part of me
is well, and some parts of me are superb! Now may I go?'
Alys
laughed unwillingly, her heart lightening despite her fear. 'Go then!'
she
said.
The
door banged and he was gone. Alys pulled up the covers and slid down
into the
warmth where his body had lain. She shrugged her shoulders against her
night
fears. 'I won't think about it,' she said to herself as her eyes
closed. 'I
won't think about it.'
Catherine's
door was open when the women came into the gallery in the morning. She
was
sprawled across the bed, door flung wide, waiting for them.
'I'll
have my breakfast here!' she yelled. 'You, Ruth, bring me bread and
ale. I'll
have some roast beef or venison, and some goat's cheese. I fasted last
night
and I am hungry today. Fetch it for me at once.'
Eliza
shot a quick irreverent grin at Alys. 'She's drunk!' she whispered.
'Good God,
what now!'
Alys
stepped up to the door. By Catherine's bed was the jug they kept in the
cupboard of the gallery; it was rolling on its side, leaving a trail of
red
lees over the floorboards. 'Where did you get wine, Catherine?' Alys
asked.
Catherine's face was flushed, her hair tousled, her eyes bright. 'Went
down to
the hall at dawn!' she said triumphantly. 'I can serve myself when I
need, you
know. I'm not some whey-faced child that they can torment. I've been
Lady
Catherine here for years. I kicked a page awake and he brought me
dinner and
wine. I've been drinking ever since.' The women fluttered behind Alys
in
consternation. 'Downstairs in her shift,' Ruth said softly. 'Oh dear!'
Alys bit
back a smile. 'You're drunk,' she said concisely to Catherine. 'You had
better
eat some bread and then sleep. You'll be sick enough later.'
Catherine
shook her head and pointed imperiously to her window. 'I give the
orders here,
Alys. I am not yet commanding a pig and a cow on the edge of the moor.
I am not
yet set aside and shamed for the benefit of you and whatever you carry
in your
belly! Go and fetch me some more wine. I'll have clary wine - that's a
good
wine to drink in daylight. And I'll have ale with my breakfast! And
then tell
them to bring me a bath. I shall bathe and wear my rose and cream gown.
And I
shall dine in the hall today.'
Alys
heard Eliza's giggle smothered from behind her hand. She turned around.
'She's
impossible,' she said to the women. 'One of you sit with her. We'll
have to do
as she wishes. She'll pass out with the drink soon enough.'
'She
can't go down to dinner like this,' Ruth said, scandalized.
Alys
shook her head. 'She'll be sick long before dinnertime if she's been
drinking
all night.'
'My
breakfast!' Catherine shouted imperiously, with the authority of the
enormously
drunk. 'At once, girl!'
No one
had called Alys 'girl' for many months. Alys smiled wryly and nodded
towards
Catherine. 'At once,' she said with mock obedience. She closed the
heavy carved
door and pointed to Ruth and then Mary.
'You
fetch her breakfast, what she wanted. It makes no difference, she'll be
vomiting it up in moments. And you, Mary, go to the kitchen and tell
them to
set water to heat, and order her a bath.'
The
two
nodded. Alys led the rest of them downstairs for their breakfast, and
waited in
the lobby for the old lord and David to come down the stairs from the
round
tower. 'Good morrow, Alys,' the old lord said. Alys stepped forward and
kissed
his hand. David opened the door for the two of them and they entered
the hall
together.
Breakfast
was a meal taken without ceremony at the castle. There was too much to
do in
the early hours of the day for much delay. The kitchen sent out a
continuous
stream of messes - four-person platters of bread and cheese and cold
bacon.
Serving-women and men went around the hall serving ale and hot water.
People
came and went, with a quick bow to the high table when one of the lords
was
seated and dining.
Hugo
was long gone - out hunting with Stephen. Most of the soldiers were fed
and at
their posts by the early light. Alys sat at the lord's side and ate the
best
bread with him and drank a small cup of hot water with a sprinkling of
chamomile on the top.
'What's
the brew?' the old lord asked. 'Chamomile,' Alys said. 'For calmness.'
The lord
gave a snort of amusement. 'Calmness is for the grave,' he said. 'I'd
rather
have panic any day. Tells me I am still alive.'
'Then
you should have been born a woman,' Alys said.
He
gave
a quick guffaw of laughter. 'God forbid!' he said. 'What panics are you
suffering, little Alys?'
'Catherine,'
Alys said. 'She got hold of some wine in the night and she's still
carousing
this morning. She thinks of coming to dinner, primped up in her best,
and
winning back your affection.'
The
old
lord slapped the table with his hand and roared with laughter. Men
taking
breakfast on the nearby tables looked up, smiling, and one shouted,
'Share the
jest, my lord!'
Lord
Hugh shook his head, his eyes streaming. 'Women's troubles! Women's
troubles!'
he called back. All the men smiled and nodded.
'So!'
he said, when he could catch his breath. 'When may I expect this
seduction?'
Alys
nipped the inside of her lips to contain her irritation and sipped her
tea.
'She will come down to dinner unless someone prevents it, and she will
make a
scene and shame herself and shame you,' she said. 'If she spews all
over you
and over the young lord it will not be so merry, I suppose. We cannot
stop her
in the gallery. We cannot order the servants not to give her wine. She
will
have her own way unless you order it.'
Lord
Hugh was still chuckling. 'Oh lord, Alys, don't bring me these hen-coop
troubles,' he said genially. 'Give her wine and a drop of one of your
sleeping
herbs in the cup. Send her to sleep for a few hours and when she wakes
sober
and sick she'll have learned her lesson. I'll have the papers through
in a few
days and she can sign them and leave the castle forever.'
'In a
few days?' Alys confirmed.
Lord
Hugh nodded. 'Aye. So you can drink ale for breakfast and not handfuls
of
grass, my dear.' He chuckled again. 'Calmness. Oh Lord!'
Alys
smiled thinly and broke some bread on her silver plate. 'Hugo tells me
you have
settled on the young girl for his bride,' she said. 'The little girl of
only
nine?'
Lord
Hugh nodded. 'The best choice,' he said. ‘I was torn. I'd have liked to
see a
quick wedding, bedding and birthing, but the girl's family are the very
people
we need as kin. And she herself is from fertile stock. Her mother had
fourteen
children, ten of them sons, before she died. All before she was
twenty-five!'
'A
fortunate woman indeed,' Alys said sarcastically.
Lord
Hugh did not hear. 'The wench will come and live here and we can school
her as
we wish,' he said. 'If you'll be kindly to her, Alys, you can stay by
her and
serve her. She's no fool. She's been serving as a maid in the Howard
household
and at court since she was seven. She'll be fit to bed at twelve I
should
think. I may yet see her son.'
'And
my
son?' Alys pressed.
'He'll
be mine as soon as he is born,' the old lord said. 'Don't fret, Alys.
If he is
a strong and bonny child he'll be my heir and you can stay as long as
she
permits and as long as we desire. This is a good outcome for you, as it
happens. Your luck follows you like your shadow, does it not?'
'Like
my shadow,' Alys assented. Her voice was low and quiet. Lord Hugh could
hardly
hear her. 'My luck follows like a shadow,' she said.
He
pushed his plate away from him and a page came up with a silver bowl
and ewer
and poured water for him to wash his hands. Another came up with
embroidered
linen and he dried his hands.
'We
dine early,' he reminded Alys. 'There are the rest of the trials this
afternoon. I shall rest this morning. They weary me, all these stolen
pigs and
missing beehives. And besides, the law changes with every messenger
that comes.
It was better in the old days when I did just as I wished.'
'What
of the old woman?' Alys asked.
Lord
Hugh turned as he was going out of the door. 'I don't know,' he said.
'Father
Stephen was talking with her again, after his supper last night. And
this morning
he went out riding with Hugo. She may not come to trial, Alys. It is
Father
Stephen's decision if she has no case to answer.' He grinned. 'She was
leading
him a merry dance as he told it at dinner last night. She is as learned
as he
and when he reproached her in Latin she defended herself in Greek and
he was
hard-pressed to follow. I suppose I shall conduct her trial in Hebrew
for the
purity of the language!'
'Might
he release her?' Alys asked.
The
old
lord shrugged. 'Maybe,' he said. A mischievous gleam came into his
eyes. 'Do
you wish to appear for her?' he asked. 'Her learning and your quickness
would
be a formidable defence, Alys. Shall I tell Stephen that you will speak
for
her? Is it your wish to stand before us all and defend a papist and
traitor, no
matter what it costs?' His dark eyes scanned her face, his smile was
cruel.
Alys
ducked her head. 'No, no,' she said hastily. 'No, she is nothing to me.
Father
Stephen shall be the judge. I cannot be involved in this. I have too
much to
do, and my health needs all my care. I cannot be troubled with this as
well.'
Lord
Hugh gleamed his malicious smile. 'Of course, Alys,' he said. 'Leave it
to us
men. I'll let you know if we need chamomile.'
He
swept out through the door, his wide flared surcoat swaying from his
shoulders.
Alys heard him laughing as he went up the stairs to the round tower.
She
finished her cup of chamomile tea in silence and then led the women
back to the
ladies' gallery.
Catherine
was singing loudly. They could hear her from halfway down the stairs.
Eliza
snorted with laughter as they opened the door and saw Catherine seated
in her
old chair before the gallery fire, a jug of ale in one hand and a cup
in the
other.
She
beamed as she saw them. 'My handmaids!' she said. 'My companions!'
'You
must go to bed,' Alys said, stepping forward. 'You will be sick with
all this
drink, Catherine.'
Catherine
waved the jug.
"Now
Robin did a courting go - To the leafy woods so green, And Marion his
lady-fair
. . .'
'This
is impossible,' Alys said through her teeth.
‘I
want
my bath now,' Catherine ordered abruptly.
Alys
looked towards Mary. 'They're bringing it,' she said, dropping a
curtsey. 'But
she wanted your herbs and oils in it, my lady.'
'Like
last time,' Catherine said with drunken enthusiasm. 'When you bathed me
in
perfume flowers and rubbed me with oils and Hugo came and had us both.'
There
was a gasp from all the women. 'When it was so nice, Alys. When you lay
on me
and licked my breasts and poked me with your fingers. Like that.'
Alys
shot a warning glance around the women. Eliza's face was scarlet with
suppressed laughter. Ruth was white with shock and she was crossing
herself
against the sin of venery.
'Get
the bath,' Alys said to Mary. 'She can have herbs in it.'
The
women stood in silence seething with unspoken gossip while the servants
carried
in the heavy wooden bath-tub, draped it with linen and then poured in
churn
after churn of hot water. Alys fetched mint oil from her chest of
goods, hoping
that it would sweat the drink from Catherine's sodden blood. Catherine
gaped
blankly at the gallery fire and did not see the curious glances of the
servants
as they came and went with the hot water.
'He
will return to me,' Catherine said suddenly. 'He can have me and he can
have
Alys. What man could resist? I have my dower lands and Alys is with
child. I
will accept the child. What man could want more?'
Alys
grabbed Catherine under the elbow and nodded Margery to support her
from the
other side. 'Hush, Catherine,' she said warningly as they tottered
towards the
chamber where the bath was steaming and scented before the blazing
fire. 'Hush.
You shame yourself with this talk.'
'I
will
accept you,' Catherine said, looking at Alys. 'I will love you like a
sister
and we can all live here together. Why not? We are the lords. We can
live as we
please. And Hugo would be happy with us both.'
'Hush,'
Alys said again. Her brain was working fast. Hugo might indeed accept a
life
financed by Catherine's dowry and inherited by Alys' children. The
dynastic
ambitions for the new young bride were his father's - it had always
been his
father's plots and schemes – Hugo wanted his place at court, he wanted
the
money for his voyages and his ventures, he wanted to sink mine shafts
and
quarry lime, but if Catherine and Alys could make a truce and Alys bear
him a
son, he might abandon the venture of another wife.
'It's
too late,' Alys said thoughtfully. 'The old lord is determined.'
Catherine
was still rolling drunk. She staggered as Mary untied her shift and
pulled it
off over her head. It took three of them to steer her safely into the
bath. She
sat on the low stool in the tub and leaned her head back against the
linen-covered side.
'You
could deter him,' she said. She was slurring her words and her eyelids
were
drooping. 'You could persuade him. There is my dowry and your child. He
wants
these things.'
Alys
rolled up her sleeves and roughly rubbed Catherine's shoulders and
grimy neck.
The folds of fat hung loosely around her body now that the baby had
gone.
'Or if
the old lord died,' Catherine suggested. Her voice was far too loud for
safety.
Margery, at the window, heard her. Eliza, waiting by the door, heard
her. Mary,
airing the shift before the fire, turned quickly and stared at
Catherine
lolling in the tub, lazy, corrupted.
'Don't
say it!' Alys said sharply. 'My lord is well and will live for many
years yet,
please God.'
Catherine
opened her drunk, unfocused eyes and smiled at Alys. 'It's true
though,' she
said. 'Hugo would never have the will to set me aside. Hugo likes his
pleasures
at once. He would never wait for a nine-year-old bride. These are not
his plots
and schemes. If the old lord was gone we could live well, us three.'
'Hush,'
Alys said again. It was true. If the old lord died and Hugo inherited
tomorrow
then Catherine would stay as nominal lady of the castle and Alys'
position
would be assured. Hugo had neither the energy nor the skill to rid
himself of
Catherine and negotiate a new marriage. And besides, he liked his
comforts and
his easy way of life. Catherine as lady and Alys as mistress was an
ideal
combination for Hugo, giving him wealth and sensual pleasure without
effort.
'More
hot water,' Catherine said, 'I will lie in the bath and drink more
wine.'
Eliza
sniggered at that, but a sharp look from Alys sent her from the room.
'Give
her more hot water and a cup of watered wine,' Alys ordered. 'I am
going to my
room. It is too hot for me here.' She turned to Catherine. 'After your
bath you
must lie down and sleep,' she said firmly. 'You can dress in your rose
gown
after your rest. I will have you awakened in time for dinner, but you
must
sleep now.'
Catherine
was already drowsy. Her large features, blurred in the scented steam,
were soft
with sleep. 'All right, Alys,' she said agreeably. 'But will you come
and touch
me? Will Hugo come and mount you while I watch? Like we did before?'
There
was an utter silence in the room. 'You are dreaming,' Alys said
roughly. 'Bawdy
dreams, Catherine. Your humours are too hot. Your bath has overheated
you. You
must rest.'
She
turned and went quickly from the room before the others could read the
guilt in
her face. As she shut her chamber door she heard a soft scandalized
shriek and
the babble of whispers at the oriel window in the gallery, as the women
fled
from Catherine's room to repeat what she said. Alys went to the
arrow-slit
window and looked out.
Over
the bridge the white road uncurled itself around the hill and then
headed straight
as a Roman spear over the moor. The fields at the riverside were a
dusty
yellow-green. The hay was cut, the corn was in. They were tossing straw
into
windrows and would gather it this month. In the higher fields beyond
the river
there were cows picking over the hayfield stubble. Beyond them was the
rough
green and grey hide of moorland with a few sheep scattered across it.
The
heather was in flower and a traveller crossing the moor would have to
wade
through thigh-deep clumps of purple and walk all day in a cloud of
sweet
pollen. The fords would be dry, a man could walk northwards across the
high
hills and drop down into dale after dale - the Greta, the Lune,
Cotherstone -
without ever wetting his feet or finding a drop of clean water to drink.
Alys
looked at the thin track of the white road and wondered where her
little dolls
were now, and if they were still walking wearily towards the castle,
still
trailing a little thread of candlewax slime behind them wherever their
tiny
feet pattered. They would make slow progress along the dusty road,
leaping
aside into the grass at the roadside for fear of cartwheels and feet
and the
dangerous clatter of hooves. The doll of the old lord would be
hobbling, the
doll of the miscarried woman trailing slime, and the doll of Hugo
staggering
sightlessly with his blunt insensate hands stretched before him.
In the
warm air blowing through the arrow-slit Alys shivered, as cold as if
she were
trapped in a dank cave with flood water rising.
A
flock
of pigeons wheeled and turned in the sunlight, their feathers bright
and
golden, moving as one. They flew like a fletch of arrows straight
towards Alys
at the window and then wheeled at the last moment and settled out of
her sight
on the round tower, where the pigeon lad would settle them in their
boxes and
cut the messages from their cherry-red legs. Alys shuddered and drew
back from
the window, lay down on her bed and stared upwards at the rich green
and gold
embroidery of the tester above her head.
She
must have dozed. She was wakened by a banging on her door and a high,
sudden
scream of fear, the noise of running feet, and someone calling her name
in a
voice sharpened with terror. Alys had jumped from her bed and torn open
her
door before she was awake.
'Is it
fire?' she demanded urgently. Then she swayed and leaned back against
the door.
'What is the matter?'
'Lady
Catherine!' Eliza said. She took Alys by the shoulders and shook her
awake.
'It's Lady Catherine. She's drowned! She's drowned! Come at once!'
Alys
stumbled but Eliza dragged her forwards, across the gallery and to
Catherine's
chamber. Alys, still dazed, looked around all the faces expecting to
see Morach
soaking wet, her shock of white hair slicked down by river water,
beaming with
pride and saying 'I saved her!'
'Wake
up!' Eliza said. She pushed Alys roughly towards Catherine's doorway.
There
were many people crowded into the gallery, soldiers and servants, all
of them
milling helplessly around and shouting instructions. 'Warm her up!'
'Fetch Father
Stephen!' 'Put her in her bed!' 'Give her usquebaugh!' 'Burn horsehair!'
Alys,
pushed by Eliza, fought her way into Catherine's chamber and fell back
when she
saw the bath-tub.
Catherine
was blue. Her staring, blank face and all over her flaccid body was
stained
veinous-blue. Blue fingernails, blue feet, blue lips, white-blue face.
Someone
had heaved her up out of her bath-water and then let her slide in again
so her
head was tipped back against the edge of the bath, limp as a doll. She
looked
like a dreadful parody of the sensual Catherine who had shouted for
wine and
more water. A woman who had given herself up to selfish pleasures and
was now
given up to death.
'How
did this happen?' Alys asked. Her voice was still croaky from sleep.
She
coughed to clear it.
'We
left her alone,' Eliza said. Alys could hear the grief and guilt in her
harsh
tone. 'She wanted to be alone and we shut the door and left her. God
knows what
I was thinking of. I knew she was drunk. But she was maudlin and dull.
She
ordered us out of the room and we went. We left her.' 'Did she fall?'
Alys
asked.
'I'd
have heard if she had fallen,' Ruth said sharply. Her face was nearly
as pale
as Catherine's horrid whiteness. 'I was listening for her call. I was
not
gossiping about sin and lechery. If she had fallen I would have heard.
I heard
nothing. Nothing.' She broke off, and turned her face away, a
handkerchief to
her eyes and sobbed. 'Nothing,' she said.
'She
was drunk,' Mistress Allingham said. 'I think she just slid under the
water and
could not get herself out again.'
'Can
you do nothing?' Eliza demanded. 'Open a vein, bleed her! Something!'
Alys
shook her head. 'Nothing,' she said slowly. 'There's no blood pumping
around
Catherine any more. She's dead.'
She
drew back. 'Close the door. Get these people out of here,' she said.
'Send for
someone to cover her nakedness and lift her out of the bath. The old
lord will
have to be told, and Hugo. They should not see her like this.'
There
was a movement among the crowd in the gallery as they went to obey Alys.
‘I’ll
tell the old lord,' Alys said numbly.
Ruth
gave a loud, thin cry and ran to her room. Eliza turned to go after
her. 'Odd,'
she said. She paused and looked at Alys. 'That she should escape
drowning in
the winter river, bobbing with ice floes, treacherous with rocks, and
then go
under in her bath.'
Alys
shook her head, half closed her eyes. 'It is a nightmare,' she said
honestly.
'A nightmare.'
They
dressed Catherine's cold, water-logged body and they laid her in the
little
chapel which stood by the gatehouse in the outer manse, a branch of
candles at
her head and at her feet. Father Stephen, rushed off his horse from
hunting and
into his black archdeacon's gown, ordered prayers to be said for her
soul, but
there were no nuns and no monks to keep a vigil for Lady Catherine. All
that
had gone and no one knew how to mourn for the lady of the castle any
more.
Father
Stephen told four soldiers the prayers which should be said and they
kept a
vigil like a guard duty. But it was not done well. Everyone knew that
it was
not done well now there were neither monks nor nuns to pray for the
soul of a
woman drowned while deep in sin. Ruth stayed by the makeshift coffin,
one hand
on the side, her head bowed, fingering her rosary and saying the
prayers she
had learned as a child. She would not be moved away.
The
other women tried to pull her away to the gallery and Eliza stood
before her,
trying to hide her, when Father Stephen came into the chapel. He raised
his
eyebrows at the murmur of Latin prayers and the click of the rosary
beads but
one glance at Ruth's agonized white face prevented him from
interrupting her.
'What
is this?' he demanded of Alys in his sharp, accusing voice. 'Is this
woman a
papist? I knew she was devout but I never knew she used the rosary and
prayed
with the old prayers. She has taken the Oath, has she not? She knows
the King
is head of the English Church?'
Alys
nodded. 'It's the shock. She loved Lady Catherine. When she is
recovered from
the shock she will behave as she should.'
'And
the other women?' he demanded. Alys could hear his excitement rising.
'Are the
other women also steeped in Roman heresy? Do they not understand the
nature of
the true Church?'
'No,
no,' Alys said quickly. 'We are all good Christians now. Ruth is sick
with
shock.' 'Take the rosary from her,' Father Stephen said. 'Is it a sin?'
Alys
asked in confusion. 'I thought it was allowed.'
'Some
say it does no harm but I believe, and my bishop believes, that it is a
graven
image as bad as any other false god,' Stephen said passionately. 'It is
a
doorway to sin, if it is not a sin itself. Take it from her.'
Alys
hesitated. 'It is her own,' she said. 'She is using it only to keep
count of
her prayers.'
'Take
it,' Stephen said firmly. 'I cannot permit it -not even to mourn Lady
Catherine. It is a doorway for sin and confusion.'
Alys
waited until he had left the chapel and then tapped Ruth on the
shoulder. 'Give
me them,' she said abruptly, pointing to the rosary beads. 'You will
have us
all questioned for our beliefs by Father Stephen. You are a fool to be
so open.
Give me them or hide them where they cannot be found.'
Ruth's
white face was twisted with grief. 'It is all I can do for her now!'
she said
wildly. 'All there is for me to do. She disgusted me with her talk and
I left
her to drown. She died in sin, I must pray for her soul. I must light
candles
for her and have masses sung for her. She died in deep sin, I must save
her soul
if I can.' 'No one believes that stuff any more,' Alys said lightly.
There was
something about Ruth's outstretched hand on the coffin with the rosary
clasped
so tightly which was inescapably moving. 'Father Stephen says none of
it is
true.' Alys remembered the darkness of the chapel and the long nights
of vigil
which followed a nun's death. The long, sweet cadences of a Requiem
Mass and
the spellbinding holiness of the incense. The candlelight and Mother
Hildebrande's face smiling and serene in the certainty of eternal life.
Alys
snatched at the rosary and pulled it from Ruth's hand. 'No one believes
that
now,' she said brutally. 'Pray in silence or you will endanger us all!'
Ruth
tugged back. 'I will pray for my lady as it should be done! I will keep
my
loyalty to her. I will give her her dues,' she cried.
Alys
pulled, the string biting into the palm of her hand. Then with a sudden
snap,
the string of the rosary broke and the beads spilled on to the
stone-flagged
floor of the chapel, bouncing and dancing in every direction,
scattering and
rolling out of sight, under the pews, into the gratings, in a great
explosion
of destruction. There was a gasp from the other women and a loud cry
from Ruth,
who dropped to her hands and knees and scrabbled frantically, trying to
gather
them up as they rolled away from her. 'Oh God!' Alys said desperately.
She
marched from the chapel, clutching the string and the remaining beads
and the
dangling cross, before Ruth could protest. Her footsteps echoed on the
little
stones of the aisle and her gown swished from side to side as she
strode away.
Alys walked with her head up, her fingers gripping the broken rosary so
tight
that the mark of the string was as red as a weal around her fingers
when she
stopped in the porch of the chapel and looked at the little wooden
cross. It
seemed a lifetime since she had counted beads through her fingers and
said her
prayers and kissed the cross. Now she snatched them from a praying
woman to
hand to a man who was an enemy of the faith of her childhood and the
inquisitor
of her mother. Alys' face was bleak as she held out the rosary to one
of the
soldiers at the gate.
'Take
this to Father Stephen,' she said. 'Tell him there is no heresy here! I
have
taken the rosary away from the praying woman.' He nodded and turned
away. 'He
will be with the old lord,' Alys said. The man shook his head. 'He has
gone to
the prison tower,' he said. 'He told me I could find him there. There
is an old
woman coming for trial this afternoon and he has gone to question her
and
persuade her to repent of her error.'
Alys
went whiter still and swayed a little where she stood. 'Yes,' she said.
'In
this shock of my lady's death I had forgotten. Is the old woman still
to be
tried? Will they not delay the trials to mourn Lady Catherine?'
The
man
shook his head. 'There are too many people come into town for the
trials to be
delayed,' he said. 'The old lord said they would go ahead. Father
Stephen
thinks he can bring the old woman to repentance, please God.'
Alys
nodded and turned away. 'Please God,' she said under her breath. The
words were
meaningless. She had robbed them of meaning every day since the night
when the
flickering light of the burning abbey had woken her. 'Please God,' Alys
said,
knowing that she no longer had a god to trust. Knowing that the gods
she now
served were fearfully swift and reliable in their responses - but that
nothing
could please them.
In the
ladies' gallery they had to share their clothes to find dark gowns with
dark
sleeves, dark petticoats and dark hoods. Alys' navy blue gown had gone
to
Mother Hildebrande in the kitchen lad's bundle; it seemed like years
ago. She
went to Catherine's chest of clothes and found a gown of deep pine
green, so
dark that it was almost a black. She wore it with a black underskirt,
and a
high old-fashioned gable hood. As she closed the chest she saw
Catherine's rose
and cream gown which Catherine thought would regain Hugo's weathercock
desire;
the gown Alys had dreamed she would wear in a garden, walking on the
arm of the
young lord. Alys dropped the lid of the chest with a bang.
Father
Stephen led a prayer for Catherine's soul before he said grace at
dinner. He
spoke in English. Alys listened to the strange, informal chatter
between Father
Stephen and his God. It did not sound holy. It did not sound as if it
would
save Catherine's soul from hell. Alys kept her head down and said
'Amen' with
the rest.
She
had
chosen to sit at the women's table, behind the lords, for dinner. She
did not
want to sit at the high table, between the old lord and Father Stephen,
she did
not want to take Catherine's place at table while Catherine lay, blue
and icy,
in the little chapel, inadequately watched by four soldiers and Ruth in
awkward
silence. She did not want to look at the old lord and see his shielded,
smiling
face while he calculated how to make this new turn of events serve him.
She did
not want to see Hugo's careless joy at his freedom.
The
women were silent at dinner. They were served with broth and half a
dozen meat
dishes and salads. None of them ate well. Alys, watching the back of
Hugo's
head and shoulders from her old place, saw that he ate heartily after
his
morning's ride. He had not seen Catherine, half in, half out of her
bath, with
her blue lips open underwater. He had not yet gone to the chapel to
pray for
her soul. He had not even changed his clothes, so that he was still
wearing a
red doublet, slashed, with white shirt showing at the slashes, a heavy
red cape
at his shoulders, and red breeches with black leather riding boots.
When one of
the serving-lads dropped a plate in the centre of the hall Hugo
laughed,
unaffected by gloom.
The
old
lord, sitting in his seat, smiled quietly. Hugo was a widower, the
dowry lands
were his without contest. The manor farm he would have given Catherine
was his
still. The marriage with the nine-year-old girl was well in hand but
with
Catherine's wealth and Hugo's improved status as a widower the terms
could
undoubtedly be improved.
The
pages set hippocras and fruit and wafers on the tables. Alys took a
small glass
of hippocras and felt the sweet wine warm her through.
'It
doesn't seem right, eating and drinking with my lady dead this hour,'
Eliza
said.
Alys
shrugged. 'You can join Ruth in her vigil if you wish,' she said. 'But
the
castle will run as my lord commands. It seems right to him -I shall not
argue.'
Eliza
nodded. 'As you say,' she said, dropping her eyes away from Alys' cold
face.
Lord
Hugh looked behind him. 'Alys!' he said peremptorily.
Alys
rose up from the table and stood behind his chair, leaning forward.
'Father
Stephen is engaged in the arrangements for Catherine's funeral and
questioning
the old woman, so you shall be my clerk for the trials. Come to my room
within
an hour and we can prepare the papers. The trials start here at two.'
'I
shall not know what to write,' Alys said unhelpfully. 'Could not David
serve
you better? Or even my Lord Hugo?'
‘I’ll
tell you what to write,' Lord Hugh said firmly. 'It is all done by
rote. We
have a book to enter the charge and the sentence. Any fool could do it.
Come to
my room before two and you shall see.'
'Yes,
my lord,' Alys said unenthusiastically. 'You can leave now,' he said.
He shot a
quick glance at her pale face. 'Not sick are you?' he asked. 'The baby
is well?
Catherine's death did not shock you, damage the child?'
'No,'
Alys said coldly. She thought of claiming illness and avoiding the
trials but
she knew she could not again wait in her room knowing nothing. Mary's
account
of Mother Hildebrande's trial for witchcraft had been so sparse as to
be worse
than hearing nothing. Alys thought she would sit at the women's table
at the
rear of the dais with her head down, writing what Lord Hugh commanded,
and then
at least she would hear all that was said.
‘I am
well enough to be there,' Alys said. 'It is my wish to serve you.'
Lord
Hugh nodded, noting the whiteness of Alys' face, the strain which
showed in
dark shadows around her eyes and the hard set of her mouth. 'Rest
afterwards,'
he said gruffly. 'You look dreadful.'
'Thank
you, my lord,' Alys said steadily. 'I will.'
The
great hall was packed with people. They had been waiting outside the
castle
gates from noon while the lords finished their dinner and sat over
their wine.
The trestle-tables had been dragged back against the wall as soon as
dinner was
finished, the fire which had burned since Alys had first come to the
castle was
doused and the ashes swept away so that people could sit side by side
in the
whole body of the room. The benches and stools were arranged in
concentric
rings around the high table and crowded with people sitting too close.
Behind
them, and pressing continually forward, was a mob of people - some of
them
servants in the castle, many of them from Castleton. At the rear of the
hall
were more benches and people standing on them in unsteady lines,
leaning
forward to overlook the others.
Alys
sat with the women, behind the high table at the rear of the dais,
shrinking
back against the wall. The fine weather of yesterday and the morning
had gone,
the sun turned grey, shrouded in mists. The hall was dark though it was
only
two in the afternoon. Alys leaned back into the shadows. She had the
book which
recorded Lord Hugh's quarterly sessions of justice, and two pens and a
pot of
ink spread on the table before her. The other women sat facing the high
table
leaving Alys room to write.
The
door behind the tapestry opened and Lord Hugh's trumpeter, stationed
high in
the minstrel gallery over the hall at the far end, played a flat blast
on the
horn. Everyone in the hall rose to their feet and a bench overturned
and
crashed backwards on to someone's toes, making them cry out and swear.
Lord
Hugh walked into the hall, wearing his best gown with the fur-lined
collar, and
took his seat at the high table. Hugo followed him, and sat on his
right, in
his usual dinnertime seat. 'Bring in the accused,' Lord Hugh said
quietly. The
man was already waiting. He stepped forward: 'John Timms, my lord,' he
said
respectfully.
Lord
Hugh looked around. 'Alys!' he said irritably. 'I can't see what you
are doing
back there in the shadows. Bring your book up here so I can see the
entries.'
Alys hesitated. 'I prefer...' she started. 'Come on,' Lord Hugh said
abruptly.
'We don't have all day. The sooner this is done the sooner we can have
this
rabble out of the castle and back to their work.'
Alys
picked up her book and went to Catherine's seat on the left hand of the
old
lord. Eliza followed her with the ink-pot and pens. Alys seated herself
and
bent her head low over the page. In her dark gown and the large black
gable
hood she thought that she might pass unnoticed, melting into the
background as
a lowly, unimportant clerk.
'Write
John Timms,' Lord Hugh said, pointing one finger to a column.
Alys
obediently wrote. There was a long column of names, then the occupation
and
age, then the charge, then the verdict and then the sentence. Most of
the
verdicts read guilty. Lord Hugh was not a man to offer anyone the
benefit of
the doubt.
'Failure
to practise archery,' Lord Hugh read from a crumpled piece of paper in
a pile
before him.
John
Timms nodded. 'Guilty,' he said. 'I am sorry. The business was doing
badly and
I had no time and my son and the apprentices had no time either.'
Lord
Hugh glared at him. 'And if I have no time to keep a pack of soldiers
and the
Scots come down on us, or the French make war on us, or the damned
Spanish
choose to call on us - what then?' he demanded. 'Fine three shillings.
And
don't neglect it again.' Alys scribbled quickly.
The
next case was a stolen pig, as the old lord had predicted. The accused,
Elizabeth Shore, alleged that the pig had strayed into her yard and
eaten the
hens' feed and had thus been fed by her for free all the summer. Her
accuser
claimed she had tempted it away. Lord Hugh gave them some moments to
squabble
before slapping his hand on the table and ordering them to jointly feed
the pig
up, kill it and share it: three-quarters of the pig to the owner and
one leg and
some lights to the accused.
Next
was a man accused of failing to maintain roads, then a man accused of
theft, a
woman accused of slander, a merchant accused of shoddy goods, a man
charged
with assault. Alys wrote the names and the charges and the people came
and
went, dispatched with speed and sometimes justice by Lord Hugh.
'Is
that it?' he asked, when there was a lull in the proceedings.
An
officer stepped up to the table. 'That is all the common cases, my
lord,' he
said. 'I have not heard if Father Stephen wished to charge the old
woman from
Bowes Moor.' Alys looked up from her page.
'Send
to him and ask him,' Lord Hugh said irritably. 'If he is unsure, the
old woman
can be released. I don't want her persecuted over some bookish detail.'
Alys
bent her head down to the page again. The paper seemed very white, the
letters
on the page very black and spiky. She swallowed on her hope and pressed
her
lips together so that they would not move in a silent prayer to
whatever gods
might listen.
Hildebrande
might be set free. If she were turned out of the castle into Castleton
it would
be easy to send her money and clothes and set her on her way.
Southwards
perhaps, or even east to the coast and to France. She would have
learned now
what danger she was running with her plans to work and pray in the
rules of the
Order. She would have been frightened, Alys told herself, and perhaps
treated a
little roughly. That would have warned her that the world had changed,
that
there was now no room for piety and devotion to the old religion. Alys
pulled
at the feather of the quill. Hildebrande would have learned that the
old ways
were truly gone. She might now be prepared to live out her days
quietly, in a
little farm somewhere. Alys might find her some people who would house
her and
treat her kindly. She might be content to be an old lady sitting at the
back
door in the sunshine. Now she might have learned the wisdom to take the
easy
way.
Alys
raised her head, she could hear the guards shouting outside the double
doors of
the great hall. Father Stephen came in, walking slowly, his face grave,
a
ledger tucked under his arm.
Alys
felt her heart speed. She scanned Stephen's face. Surely he was slow
and
thoughtful because he had to report that there was no case to answer.
He had
failed to incriminate Mother Hildebrande. Her learning and her old
skilful wit
had been too much for him. Perhaps she had even shaken his reforming
zeal. Alys
hid a little smile.
'Please
call the old woman to account for herself,' Stephen said. He slid the
ledger
across the table towards Alys and motioned her to open it. 'There is
the
charge.'
Dumbly
Alys opened the book where a dark ribbon marked the place. The old lord
leaned
forward to see. Father Stephen went around to the back of the dais,
mounted the
steps, and took a stool beside Alys at the foot of the table.
Alys
looked at the Bishop's Court records in the heavy black ledger. There
was a
column for the date, and for the name, and for the occupation. There
was a
space for the charge. There was a space for the verdict. There was a
space for
the punishment. Alys looked along the page. There were rows after rows
of names
arraigned for all sorts of crimes, from adultery to heresy. Wherever it
said
'Heresy', along the line it said 'Guilty', and then further on it said
'Burned'. 'Burned,' Alys whispered incredulously. 'Do you see how to
write it?'
Stephen whispered encouragingly. 'And this other paper, the roll, is a
record
of what is said here this afternoon. I will nod to you when you need to
make a
note of something. You can write in English, we can copy it fair into
Latin
later.' 'Make way for the old woman of Bowes Moor,' Lord Hugh said
impatiently.
He waved at the people in the centre of the hall. 'Let her through, for
God's
sake,' he said irritably. 'We don't have all day to spend on this.'
Alys
leaned towards Lord Hugh. ‘I don't want to do this,' she said urgently.
'I must
ask to be excused.'
He
glanced down at her white face. 'Not now, not now,' he said. 'Let's get
this
over and done with. It's a messy business. I like it not.' ''Please,''
Alys
hissed.
Lord
Hugh shook his head, he was not listening. 'Do your work, Alys,' he
said
roughly. This is the last case. I am weary myself.'
Alys
bowed her head over the ledger, writing the date with exquisite care.
She was
aware of the commotion in the hall, of the sound of the soldiers coming
in
slowly, out of step, not marching as they usually did, but delayed by a
limping
pace.
'Give
her a stool,' Lord Hugh said impatiently. 'Give her a seat, the old
woman can't
stand. And give her some wine.'
Alys
kept her head down. She had an insane thought that if she never looked
up, if
she never raised her eyes, then she would never see Mother Hildebrande
sitting
on a stool in the centre of the great hall surrounded by staring
people. If she
kept her head down and never looked, then it would not be Mother
Hildebrande.
It would be someone else entirely. On a different charge. A different
charge
entirely. Another person.
'Your
name?'
Stephen rose to his feet. Alys did not look up.
'Hildebrande
of the Priory of Egglestone.' The voice was different, it rasped as if
the
speaker's throat was scraped. It was deeper, hoarser. And the speech
was
different too. This old woman could not speak clearly, could not form
her
words, lisped on her 's' and gargled the other words in her throat.
Alys copied
'Hildebrande' in the space in the book for the name of the accused; and
told
herself that since it was not Mother Hildebrande's clear voice, not
Mother
Hildebrande's pure speech - it could not be her.
'Not
your popish pretence of a name, but your real name,' Stephen said. He
sounded
angry, Alys thought, keeping her head bowed over the book. He should
not be
angry with this old lady with the sore throat, whatever she had done.
'My
real name is Hildebrande,' the rasping voice said and stopped for
breath. 'Of
the Abbey of Egglestone.'
'Write:
"Refuses to give true name,"' Stephen said in an aside to Alys.
Laboriously she opened a bracket beneath the name she had already
written, then
she copied - 'Refuses to give true name'. She nodded with satisfaction.
It was
not her mother's voice, Hildebrande was not her name. It was someone
else
altogether. Above her head the questions went on.
'You
were a nun at the abbey?' Stephen asked. 'I was.'
'You
were there on the night that the abbey was inspected for heresy, popish
practices, gross impropriety and blasphemy, and closed?'
There
was a murmur from the audience. Alys could not tell whether it was
moral
outrage at the nuns, or resentment towards Stephen. She did not look up
to see.
There was no answer for long minutes. ‘I was there when the abbey was
burned,'
the voice said wearily. 'There was no inspection, there was no
impropriety. It
was an attack of arson. It was a criminal attack.'
There
was a surge of speech from the crowd. The old lord banged the handle of
his
ebony stick on his board and shouted, 'Quiet!’
'That
is a lie,' Stephen said. 'It was a legal inspection of a corrupt and
dangerous
nest of abuse. You were smoked out like the vipers you were.' There was
a
silence.
'And
where did you go, when you fled from justice and mercy?' Stephen
demanded.
'Where have you been these eleven months?'
'I
will
not answer that question,' the hoarse voice said steadily.
'You
have been asked it before with torture,' Stephen said warningly. You
can be put
to question again.' Alys did not look up. The hall was very quiet. 'I
know,'
the voice said in a ghost of a sigh. 'I am prepared to die down there.'
There
was a low angry mutter from the crowd. Alys, hidden behind her arm as
she bent
over the book, peeped up. She could see the first couple of rows of
men. They
were Hugo's own soldiers, but they were shifting uneasily on their
seats.
'Write
down: "Is shielding fellow-conspirators,"' Stephen said to Alys. Alys
copied the words into the roll of paper.
Stephen
changed tack. 'Were there any others who also fled from justice on that
night?'
Stephen asked. 'Others who have been hiding, as you have been hiding?
Who have
perhaps plotted to meet with you? Who planned to be with you?' There
was a
silence. 'Who is "Ann"?' Stephen asked softly. Shocked, Alys' head
jerked up before she could stop herself- and then she saw her.
Hildebrande
sat slumped on her stool. Her fingers were spread out over her knees,
as if she
were holding sinew and bone together. The old blue gown Alys had given
her was
bloodstained and spattered. There was a large dark stain at the hem -
she had
soiled herself in her agony. Her shoulders were hunched awkwardly, one
side
irregular where the shoulder had been dislocated and not thrust back
into the
socket. Her feet were bare. On the pale old skin of her feet were deep
purple
and red blood-bruises, perfect copies of the knots which had tied her
to the
rack. Her wrists were black with bruising, where the rope had tied her
arms
above her head. Her thin toes were stained with blood. They had ripped
out the
toenails. The fingernails, too, were gone. The hands spread like old
bloody
talons, clinging to her own body, as if to hold it together, clinging
to her
faith.
At
Alys' sudden movement Hildebrande looked in her direction. Their eyes
met. She
recognized Alys at once. Her bloodstained mouth opened in a dreadful
smile. Alys
saw the deep, dark bruises on her cheeks from the metal gag and then,
as her
ghastly smile widened, saw that her teeth had been pulled out from the
gums,
some broken and left as stumps, others leaving dark, blood-filled
holes. Alys
saw the smile and knew Hildebrande's revenge had come easily to her
hand.
Hildebrande would not suffer alone. She would not burn alone.
Mutely,
Alys watched her. She said nothing. She did not plead with her eyes,
she did
not put her soft hands together in a secret sign for forgiveness. She
waited
for the horror of Hildebrande naming her as her accomplice and a
runaway nun.
The evidence was there. She was wearing Alys' gown, there was food from
the
castle at the cottage. Alys waited to be named and Hildebrande to be
revenged on
her for her pain of disappointment, and for the pain of the rack and
the
tortures.
Hildebrande's
pale blue eyes in the blackened strained sockets never wavered. 'There
was no
one conspiring with me,' she said, her voice clearer. 'I was alone.
Always. All alone.'
'Who
is
Ann?' Stephen said again. Mother Hildebrande smiled directly at Alys,
her old
face a ghastly, toothless mask.
'Saint
Ann,' she lied without hesitation. 'I was calling on Saint Ann.'
Alys
dropped her head and wrote blindly, one word after another.
The
old
lord leaned forward and tweaked Stephen's gown. 'Finish it,' he said.
'I
mislike this crowd.'
Stephen
nodded, straightened up, raised his voice to a shout. 'I demand that
before
this court you deny your mistaken loyalty to the Pope and affirm your
loyalty
to the King, His Majesty Henry the Eighth, and your faith in his Holy
Church of
England.'
'I
cannot do that,' the weary voice replied. 'I caution you that if you
fail to
repent now you will be found guilty of heresy to the Holy Church of
England and
you will be burned at the stake for your sins and burn hereafter in the
everlasting torments of hell,' Stephen said in a shower of words like
hailstones.
'I
keep
my faith,' Hildebrande said quietly. 'I await my cross.'
Father Stephen
looked uncertainly
towards Lord Hugh.
'Shall I wrestle with her for her
soul?' he asked.
'She
looks as if she has done enough wrestling,' the old lord said acidly.
'I'll
sentence her, shall I?' Father Stephen nodded and sat down. Lord Hugh
banged on
the table with his stick. 'It is the judgement of this court that you
are
guilty of treason to His Supreme Majesty Henry the Eighth, and guilty
of heresy
to the Holy Church of England,' he said rapidly. 'Tomorrow morning at
dawn you
shall be taken from here to a place of execution where you will be
burned at
the stake for your crimes.'
Alys
was writing blindly, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, watching the
quill move
up and down the paper. She felt Hildebrande's eyes on her, she felt the
old
woman willing her to look up, to exchange one look. She felt the weight
of
Hildebrande's need for the two of them to look into each other's faces
once
more, without deceit, without pretence, knowing what the other one
truly was -
as clear and as open as when Alys had been the little child in the
garden and
Hildebrande had seen the daughter she would never have. Alys knew that
Hildebrande was waiting for one glance from her. One honest exchange of
penitence, of forgiveness, of release.
Of
farewell.
Alys kept her head down until she heard them carry the old woman out. She would not look at her. She never said goodbye.
In my
dream I smelled the dark sulphurous stink of a passing witch and I
pulled the
smooth embroidered sheets up over my head and whispered 'Holy Mary,
Mother of
God, pray for us', to shield me from my dream, from a nightmare of
terror. Then
I heard shouting and the terrifying crackle of hungry flames and I came
awake
in a rush with a thudding heart and sat up in my bed and looked
fearfully
around the white-washed walls of my room.
The
walls were orange, scarlet, with the bobbing light of reflected flames,
and I
could hear the deep excited murmur of a waiting crowd. I had slept too
long, in
my grief and confusion -I had slept too long and they had the faggots
piled
around her feet and they had already set them alight. I snatched for my
cape
and I ran barefoot through the open door of my chamber and out into the
ladies'
gallery, where the light was shining brightly through the coloured
glass of the
oriel window and the smoke was pouring in through the open casement
where the
women were gathered. Eliza Herring turned to me, one side of her face
glowing
with the brightness of the fire outside, and she said: 'We called you,
but you
were fast asleep. Come quick, Lady Alys, the flames have caught.'
I said
nothing to her, but ran for the door, down the winding stairs and out
into the
courtyard.
They
had set up a stake for her in the square stone-filled pit before the
prison
tower, and heaped small pieces of dry kindling at the base of the pile
and
faggots of wood, to burn brightly and strongly, at the top.
Before
the fire were the soldiers and servants and Lord Hugh, Stephen the
priest and
my Hugo. But they had kept the townspeople away, afraid of their anger.
Hugo
turned and saw me in the doorway, my hair flying loose, my eyes glazed
with
fear. He put a handout to beckon me, turned to come towards me, but I
was too
quick for him.
I
raced
across the courtyard towards the fire, towards the flames, and I saw
through
the heat haze the white tortured face of Hildebrande. The wind was
blowing from
the west, a clean wind with the smell of rain behind it, and it kept
the flames
away from me. I scrambled, like a child rock-climbing, over the wide
spread of
kindling and then up the faggots to the central pole, and grabbed her
thin,
racked body around the knees, and then found my feet and pulled my self
up, and
held her around the waist. Her hands were bound behind her, she could
not hold
me. But she turned her face towards me and her bruised eyes were full
of love.
She said nothing, she was silent, as if she were at peace, like the
quiet
centre of a storm, as the flames came licking closer, all around us
like the
tongues of hungry serpents and I was choking in the swirl of smoke and
dizzy
with the heat and the terror.
Deep
in
my belly my baby churned and struggled as if he too could feel the
heat, as if
he too wanted, more than anything in the world, to live. I looked
through the
shifting heat haze of the smoke and saw Hugo's white, panic-stricken
face
turned towards me, and I tried to make my lips say 'Goodbye' but I knew
he
could not see me properly. His sight was too blurred, it is fading
fast. He
could not see me when I said to him 'Goodbye'.
I held
firmly around her waist and tried to force myself to stand still like a
woman
with holy courage. It was no use. The bundles of dry wood beneath my
feet were
shifting, the flames were licking up from underneath. I stepped from
one foot
to the other in a foolish dance, vainly trying to spare my bare feet
from the
pain of burning.
'Alys!
Jump!' Hugo yelled. He was beating at the flames with his cloak.
Stephen was
behind him, screaming for water to douse the fire. 'Jump off!' Hugo
shrieked
The
old
lord was close behind him, his arms held out to me. 'Come down, Alys!'
he
shouted at me. 'Come away!'
Then
Hugo flung himself past his father towards the flames and Stephen and
some
other men dragged him back. I saw them struggle with him, as I fretted
from one
frightened foot to the other and the heat fanned around me like the
breath of a
dragon. Through the heat haze I could see Hugo's face looking towards
me, his
mouth calling my name, and I saw in his eyes his terror of losing me
and I knew
then -for the first time perhaps - that he had loved me. And that for a
little
while - God knows only a little, little while - that I had loved him.
I
turned my face away from him, away from the castle, away from them all.
I
leaned my head on her thin shoulder and tightened my arms around her
waist. The
flames had flickered up the back of the stake and the singed rope
binding her
hands behind her suddenly parted. Her broken, racked hand stroked my
hair, I
clasped the top of my head in her blessing.
And even with the pain from my scalding feet and the heat
of the smoke
in my throat and the ceaseless, senseless thudding of fear all through
me, I
felt at peace at last. Because I knew at last where I belonged, and
because I
had found, at the very last, a love I would not betray.
The
last thing I knew, even more powerful than my old constant terror of
fire, was
her arms coming around me and her voice.
She said:
'My daughter.'