"I'm dying," Clothahump wheezed. The wizard glanced

 to his left. 'Tm dying and you stand there gawking like a

 virginal adolescent who's just discovered that his blind

 date is a noted courtesan. With your kind of help I'll never

 live to see my three-hundredth birthday."

 "With your kind of attitude it's a wonder you've man-

 aged to live this long." Jon-Tom was more than a little

 irritated at his mentor. "Listen to yourself: two weeks of

 nonstop griping and whining. You know what you are,

 turtle of a wizardly mien? You're a damned hypochondriac.''

 Clothahump's face did not permit him much of a frown,

 but he studied the tall young human warily. "What is that?

 It sounds vaguely like a swear word. Don't toy with me,

 boy, or it will go hard on you. What is it? Some magic

 word from your own world?"

 "More like a medical word. It's a descriptive term, not

 a threat. It refers to someone who thinks they're sick all

 the time, when they're not."

 "Oh, so I'm imagining that my head is fragmenting, is

 that what you're saying?" Jon-Tom resisted the urge to

  

 2    Alan Dean Foster

 reply, sat his six-feet-plus frame down near the pile of

 pillows that served the old turtle for a bed.

 Not for the first time he wondered at the number of

 spacious rooms the old oak tree encompassed. There were

 more alcoves and chambers and tunnels in that single trunk

 than in a termite's hive.

 He had to admit, though, that despite his melodramatic

 moans and wails, the wizard didn't look like himself. His

 plastron had lost its normal healthy luster, and the old eyes

 behind the granny glasses were rheumy with tears from the

 pain. Perhaps he shouldn't have been so abrupt. If

 Clothahump couldn't cure himself with his own masterly

 potions and spells, then he was well and truly ill.

 "I know what I am," Clothahump continued, "but

 what of you? A fine spellsinger you've turned out to be."

 "I'm still learning," Jon-Tom replied defensively. He

 fingered the duar slung over his shoulder. The peculiar

 instrument enabled him to sing spells, to make magic

 through the use of song. One might think it a dream come

 true for a young rock guitarist-cum-law student, save for

 the fact that he didn't seem to have a great deal of control

 ' over the magic he made.

 Since the onslaught of Clothahump's pains, Jon-Tom

 had sung two dozen songs dealing with good health and

 good feelings. None had produced the slightest effect with

 the exception of his spirited rendition of the Beach Boys'

 "Good Vibrations." That bit of spellsinging caused

 Clothahump to giggle uncontrollably, sending powders and

 potions flying and cracking his glasses.

 Following that ignominious failure, Jon-Tom kept his

 hands off the duar and made no further attempts to cure the

 wizard.

 "I didn't really mean to imply that you're faking it," he

 added apologetically. "It's just that I'm as frustrated as

 you are."

 Clothahump nodded, his breath coming in short, labored

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE    3

 gasps. His poor respiration was a reflection of the constant

 pain he was suffering, as was his general weakness.

 "I did the best I could," Jon-Tom murmured.

 "I know you did, my boy. I know you did. As you say,

 there is much yet for you to learn, many skills still to

 master."

 "I'm just bulling my way through. Half the time I pick

 the wrong song and the other half it has the wrong result.

 What else can I do?"

 Clothahump looked up sharply. "There is one chance

 for me, lad. There is a medicine which can cure what ails

 me now. Not a spell, not a magic. A true medicine."

 Jon-Tom rose from the edge of the pile of pillows. "I

 think I'd better be going. I haven't practiced yet today and

 I need to..."

 Clothahump moaned in pain and Jon-Tom hesitated,

 feeling guilty. Maybe it was a genuine moan and maybe it

 wasn't, but it had the intended effect.

 "You must obtain this medicine for me, my boy. I can't

 trust the task to anyone else. Evil forces are afoot."

 Jon-Tom sighed deeply, spoke resignedly. "Why is it

 whenever you want something, whether it's help making it

 to the bathroom or a snack or someone to go on a

 dangerous journey for you, that evil forces are always

 afoot?"

 "You ever see an evil force, boy?"

 "Not in the flesh, no."

 "Evil forces always go afoot. They're lousy fliers."

 "That's not what I meant."

 "Doesn't matter what you meant, my boy. You have to

 run this errand for me. That's all it is, a little errand."

 "Last time you asked me to help you run an errand we

 ended up with the fate of civilization at stake."

 "Well, this time it's only my fate that hangs in the

 balance." His voice shrank to a pitiful whisper. "You

 wouldn't want me to die, would you?"

 "No," Jon-Tom admitted. "I wouldn't."

 4    Alan Dean Foster

 "Of course you wouldn't. Because if I die it means the

 end of your chances to return to your own world. Because

 only I know the necessary, complicated, dangerous spell

 that can send you back. It is in your own interest to see

 that I remain alive and well."

 "I know, I know. Don't rub it in."

 "Furthermore," the wizard went on, pressing his advan-

 tage, "you are partly to blame for my present discomfort."

 "What!" Jon-Tom whirled on the bed. "I don't know

 what the hell you've got, Clothahump, but I certainly

 didn't give it to you."

 "My illness is compounded of many factors, not the

 least of which are my current awkward living conditions."

 Jon-Tom frowned and leaned on his long ramwood staff.

 "What are you talking about?"

 "Ever since we returned from the great battle at the

 Jo-Troom Gate my daily life has been one unending litany

 of misery and frustration. All because you had to go and

 turn my rude but dutiful famulus Pog into a phoenix.

 Whereupon he promptly departed my service for the dubi-

 ous pleasures his falcon ladylove could bestow on him."

 "Is it my fault you've had a hard time replacing him?

 That's hardly a surprise, considering the reputation you got

 for mistreating Pog."

 "I did not mistreat Pog," the wizard insisted. "I treated

 him exactly as an apprentice should be treated. It's true

 that I had to discipline him from time to time. That was

 due to his own laziness and incompetence. All part of the

 learning process." Clothahump straightened his new glasses.

 "Pog spread the details of your teaching methods all

 over the Betlwoods. But 1 thought the new famulus you

 finally settled on was working out okay."

 "Ha! It just goes to show what can happen when you

 don't read the fine print on someone's resume. It's too late

 now. I've made him my assistant and am bound to him, as

 he is to me."

 "What's wrong? I thought he was brilliant."

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE    5

 "He can be. He can be studious, efficient, and eager to

 learn."

 "Sounds good to me."

 "Unfortunately, he has one little problem."

 "What kind of problem?"

 Clothahump's reply was interrupted by a loud, slurred

 curse from the room off to the left. The wizard gestured

 with his head toward the doorway, looked regretful.

 "Go see for yourself, my boy, and understand then what

 a constant upset my life has become."

 Jon-Tom considered, then shrugged and headed under

 the arched passageway toward the next chamber, bending

 low to clear the sill. He was so much taller than most of

 the inhabitants of this world that his height was an ever-

 present problem.

 Something shattered and there was another high-pitched

 curse. He held his ramwood staff protectively in front of

 him as he emerged into the storeroom.

 It was as spacious as Clothahump's bedroom and the

 other chambers which somehow managed to coexist within

 the trunk of the old oak. Pots, tins, crates, and beakers full

 of noisome brews were carefully arranged on shelves and

 workbenches. Several bottles lay in pieces on the floor.

 Standing, or rather weaving, in the midst of the break-

 age was Sorbl, Clothahump's new famulus. The young

 great homed owl stood slightly over three feet tall. He

 wore a thin vest and a brown and yellow kilt of the Ule

 Clan.

 He spotted Jon-Tom, waved cheerily, and fell over on

 his beak. As he struggled to raise himself on flexible

 wingtips, Jon-Tom saw that the vast yellow eyes were

 exquisitely bloodshot.

 "Hello, Sorbl. You know who I am?"

 The owl squinted at him as he climbed unsteadily to his

 feet, staggered to port, and caught himself on the edge of

 'the workbench.

 6

 Alan Dean Foster

 "Shure I remember you," he said thickly. "You... you're

 that spielsunger... spoilsanger. ..."

 "Spellsinger," Jon-Tom said helpfully.

 "Thas what I said. You're that what I said from another

 world that the master brought through to hulp him against

 the Pleated Filk."

 "The master is not feeling well." He put his staff aside.

 "And you're not looking too hot either."

 "Hooo, me?" The owl looked indignant, walked away

 from the bench wavering only slightly. "I am perfectly

 fine, thank you." He glanced back at the bench. "Is just

 that I was looking for a certain bottle."

 "What bottle?"

 "Not marked, thish one." Sorbl looked conspiratorial

 and winked knowingly with one great bloodshot eye.

 "Medicinal liquid. Not for his ancientness in there. My

 bottle," he finished, suddenly belligerent. "Nectar."

 "Nectar? I thought owls liked mice."

 "What?" said the outraged famulus. For an instant

 Jon-Tom had forgotten where he was. The rodents here-

 abouts were as intelligent and lively as any of the other

 citizens of this world. "If I tried to take a bite out of a

 mouse, his relatives would come string me up. I'll stick to

 small lizards and snakishes. Listen," he continued more

 softly, "it's hard working for this wizard. I need a lil'

 lubrication now and then."

 "You get any more lubricated," Jon-Tom observed

 distastefully, "and your brains are going to slide out your

 ass."

 "Nonshensh. I am in complete control of myself." He

 turned back toward the bench, staggered over to the edge,

 and commenced a minute inspection of the surface with

 eyes that should have been capable of spotting an ant from

 a hundred yards away. At the moment, however, those

 huge orbs were operating at less than maximum efficiency.

 Jon-Tom shook his head in disgust and returned to the

 wizard's bedside.

 THE DAY OF THK DISSONANCE    7

 "Well," asked Clothahump meaningfully, "what is your

 opinion of my new famulus?"

 "I think I see what you're driving at. I didn't notice any

 of the qualities you said he possesses. I'm pretty sure he

 was drunk."

 "Really?" said Clothahump dryly. "What a profound

 observation. We'll make a perceptive spellsinger out of

 you yet. He is like that too much of the time, my boy. I am

 blessed with a potentially brilliant famulus, a first-rate,

 worthy assistant. Sadly, Sorbl is also a lush. Do you know

 that I have to make him take a cart into town to buy

 supplies because every time he tries to fly in he ends up by

 running head-first into a tree and the local farmers have to

 haul him back to me in a wagon? Do you have any idea

 how embarrassing that is for the world's greatest wizard?"

 "I can imagine. Can't you cure him? I'd think an

 anti-inebriation spell would be fairly simple and straight-

 forward."

 "It is a vicious circle, my boy. Were I not so sick I

 could do so, but as it stands I cannot concentrate. Past two

 hundred the mind loses some of its resilience. I tried just

 that last week. All those methyl ethyl bethels in the spell

 are difficult enough to get straight when you're at the top

 of your form. Sick as I was, I must have transposed an -yl

 somewhere. Made him throw up for three days. Cured his

 drinking, but made him so ill the only way he could cure

 himself was by getting falling-down-drunk again.

 "I must have that medicine, lad, so that I can function

 properly again. Otherwise I'm liable to try some complex

 spell, slip an incantation, and end up with something

 dangerous in my pentagram. It's hard enough making sure

 that idiot in there passes me the proper powders. Once he

 substituted lettuce for liverwort, and I ended up with a

 ten-foot-tall saber-toothed rabbit. Took me two hasty re-

 traction spells to bunny it down."

 "Why don't you just conjure the stuff up?"

 "I do not possess the necessary ingredients," Clothahump

 8

 Alan Dean Foster

 explained patiently. "If I did, I could just take them, now,

 couldn't I?"

 "Beats me. I've seen you make chocolate out of garbage."

 "Medicine is rather more specific in its requirements.

 Everything must be so precise. You can make milk choco-

 late, bittersweet chocolate, white chocolate, semisweet

 chocolate: it's still all chocolate. Alter the composition of

 a medicinal spell ever so slightly and you might end up

 with a deadly poison. No, it must be brought whole and

 ready, and you must bring it to me, my boy." He reached

 out with a trembling hand. Jon-Tom moved close, sitting

 down again on the edge of the soft bed.

 "I know I did a bad thing when I reached out into the

 beyond and plucked you hence from your own comfortable

 world, but the need was great. In the end, you vindicated

 my judgment, though in a fashion that could not have been

 foreseen." He adjusted his glasses. "You proved yourself

 in spite of what everyone thought."

 "Mostly by accident." Jon-Tom realized that the wizard

 was flattering him in order to break down his resistance to

 making the journey. At the same time he felt himself

 succumbing to the flattery.

 "It need not be by accident any longer. Work at your

 new profession. Study hard, practice your skills, and heed

 my advice. You can be more than a man in this world. I

 don't know what you might have been in your own, but

 here you have the potential to be a master. // you can

 wrestle your strengths and talent under control."

 "With your instruction, of course."

 "Why not learn from the best?" said Clothahump with

 typical immodesty. "In order for me to train you I need

 many years. One does not master the arcane arts of

 spellsinging in a day, a week, a year. If you do not fetch

 this medicine that can cure this bedamned affliction, I will

 not be around much longer to help you.

 "I need only a small quantity. It will fit easily into a

 THE DAY OF THE DISSOJVAWCE   9

 pocket of those garish trousers or that absurd purple shirt

 that foppish tailor Carlemot fashioned for you."

 "It's not purple, it's indigo," Jon-Tom muttered, looking

 down to where it tucked into the pants. His iridescent

 green lizard-skin cape hung on a wall hook. "From what

 I've seen, this qualifies as subdued attire here."

 "Go naked if you will, but go you must."

 "All right, all right! Haven't you made me feel guilty

 enough?''

 "I sincerely hope so," the wizard murmured.

 "I don't know how I let you talk me into these things."

 "You have the misfortune to be a decent person, a

 constant burden in any world. You suffer from knowing

 right from wrong."

 "No I don't. If I knew what was right, I'd be long gone

 from this tree. But you did take me in, help me out, even

 if you did use me for your own ends. Not that I feel used.

 You used everyone for your own ends."

 "We saved the world," Clothahump demurred. "Not

 bad ends."

 "You're also right about my being stuck here unless you

 can work the spell to send me home someday. So 1

 suppose I have no choice but to go after this special

 medicine. It's not by any chance available from the apoth-

 ecary in Lynchbany?"

 "I fear not."

 "What a lucky guess on my part."

 "Teh. Sarcasm in one so young is bad for the liver."

 Clothahump raised himself slowly, turned to the end table

 that doubled as a bedside desk. He scribbled with a quill

 pen on a piece of paper. A moment passed, he cursed, put

 a refill cartridge in the quill, and resumed writing.

 When he finished, he rolled the paper tight, inserted it

 into a small metal tube which hung from a chain, and

 handed it to Jon-Tom.

 "Here is the formula," he said reverently. "She who is

 to fill it will know its meaning."

 10

 Alan Dean Foster

 Jon-Tom nodded, took the chain, and hung it around his

 neck. The tube was cool against his chest.

 "That is all you need to know."

 "Except how to find this magician, or druggist, or

 whatever she is."

 "A store. Nothing more." Clothahump's reassuring tone

 immediately put Jon-Tom on his guard. "The Shop of the

 Aether and Neither. It lies in the town of Crancularn."

 "I take it this Crancularn isn't a hop, skip, and a jump

 from Lynchbany?"

 "Depends on your method of locomotion, but for most

 mortals, I would say not. It lies well to the south and west

 of the Bellwoods."

 Jon-Tom made a face. He'd been around enough to have

 picked up some knowledge of local geography. "There

 isn't anything well to the southwest of here. The Bellwoods

 run down to the River Tailaroam which flows into..." he

 stopped. "Cranculara's a village on the shore of the

 Glittergeist?"

 Clothahump looked the other way. "Uh, not exactly, my

 boy. Actually it lies on the other side."

 "The other side of the river?"

 "Noooo. The other side of the ocean."

 Jon-Tom threw up his hands in despair. "And that's the

 last straw,"

 "Actually, lad, it's only the first straw. There are many

 more to pass before you reach Crancularn. But reach it you

 must," he finished emphatically, "or I will surely perish

 from the pain, and any chance you have of returning home

 will perish with me."

 "But I don't even know how big the Glittergeist is."

 "Not all that big, as oceans go." Clothahump strove to

 sound reassuring. "It can be crossed in a few weeks. All

 you have to do is book passage on one of the many ships

 that trade between the mouth of the Glittergeist and distant

 Snarken."

 "I've heard of Snarken. Big place?"

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 11

 "A most magnificent city. So I have been told, never

 having visited there myself. Grander than Polastrindu.

 You'd find it fascinating."

 "And dangerous."

 "No journey is worthwhile unless it is dangerous, but

 we romanticize. I do not see any reason for anticipating

 trouble. You are a tourist, nothing more, embarked on a

 voyage of rest, relaxation, and discovery."

 "Sure. From what I've seen of this world it doesn't treat

 tourists real well."

 "That should not trouble an accomplished spellsinger

 like you."

 The wizard was interrupted by the sound of another

 crash from the nearby storeroom, followed by a few

 snatches of drunken song.

 "You also have your ramwood staff for protection, and

 you no longer are a stranger to our ways. Think of it as a

 holiday, a vacation."

 "Why do I have this persistent feeling you're not telling

 me everything?"

 "Because you are a pessimist, my boy. I do not criti-

 cize. That is a healthy attitude for one embarked on a

 career in magic. I am not sending you after trouble this

 time. We do not go to battle powerful invaders from the

 east. I am asking you only to go and fetch a handful of

 powder, a little medicine. That is all. No war awaits. True,

 it is a long journey, but there is no reason why it should

 be an arduous one.

 "You leave from here, proceed south to the banks of the

 Tailaroam, book passage downstream. At its mouth where

 the merchant ships dock you, board a comfortable vessel

 heading for Snarken. Thence overland to Crancularn. A

 short jaunt, I should imagine."

 "Imagine? You mean you don't know how far it is from

 Snarken to Crancularn?"

 "Not very far."

 "For someone who deals in exact formulas and spells,

 12

 Alan Dean Foster

 you can be disconcertingly nonspecific at times, Clotha-

 hump.''

 "And you can be unnecessarily verbose," the turtle shot

 back.

 "Sorry. My pre-law training. Never use one word where

 five will fit. Maybe I would've ended up a lawyer instead

 of a heavy-metal bass player."

 "You'll never know if you don't return to your own

 world, which you cannot do unless ..."

 "I know, I know," Jon-Tom said tiredly. "Unless 1

 make the trip to this Crancularn and bring back the

 medicine you need. Okay, so I'm stuck."

 "I would rather know that you had undertaken this

 journey with enthusiasm, willingly, out of a desire to help

 one who only wishes you well."'

 "So would I, but you'll settle for my going because I

 haven't got any choice, won't you?"

 "Yes," said Clothahump thoughtfully, "I expect that 1

 will."

 II

 He wasn't in the best frame of mind the morning he set

 off. Not that anything was keeping him occupied else-

 where, he told himself sourly. He had no place in this

 world and certainly no intention of setting himself up in

 practice as a professional spellsinger.

 For one thing, that would put him in direct competition

 with Clothahump. Although the wizard thought well of

 him, Jon-Tom didn't think Clothahump would take kindly

 to the idea. For another, he hadn't mastered his odd

 abilities to the point where he could guarantee services for

 value received, and might never achieve that degree of

 expertise. He preferred to regard his spellsinging as a

 talent of last resort, choosing to rely instead on his staff

 and his wits to keep him out of trouble.

 In fact, the duar provided him with far more pleasure

 when he simply played it for fun, just like his battered old

 Fender guitar back home. Now he played it to ease his

 mind as he walked into town, strumming a few snatches of

 very unmagical Neil Diamond while wishing he had Ted

 Nugent's way with strings. At the same time he had to be

 careful in his selections. Diamond was innocuous enough.

 13

 14

 Alan Dean Poster

 If he tried a little Nugent—say, "Cat Scratch Fever" or

 "Scream Dream"—there was no telling what he might

 accidentally conjure up.

 At least the weather favored his journey. It was early

 spring- Deep within the Bellwoods, so named for the

 bell-shaped leaves which produced a tinkling sound when

 the wind blew through them, there was the smell of dew

 and new blossoms on the air. Glass butterflies flew every-

 where, their stained-glass wings sending shafts of brilliant

 color twinkling over the ground. Peppermint bees striped

 in psychedelic hues darted among the flowers.

 One hitched a ride on his indigo shirt. Perhaps it thought

 he was some kind of giant ambulatory flower. Jon-Tom

 examined it with interest. Instead of the yellow-and-black

 pattern he was accustomed to, his visitor's abdomen was

 striped pink, lemon yellow, orange, chocolate brown, and

 bright blue. Man and insect regarded one another thought-

 fully for a long moment. Deciding he was neither a source

 of pollen or enlightenment, the bee droned off in search of

 sweeter forage.

 Lynchbany Towne was unchanged from the first time

 Jon-Tom had seen it, on that rainy day when he, a strange-

 to this world, had entered it accompanied by Mudge tl

 otter. It was Mudge he sought now. He had no intention

 striking out across the Glittergeist alone, no matter ho

 much confidence Clothahump vested in him. There was

 still far too much of the ways and customs of this place he

 was ignorant of.

 Mudge's knowledge was of the practical and non-

 intellectual variety. Too, nothing was more precious to the

 otter than his own skin. He was sort of a furry walking

 alarm, ready to jump or take whatever evasive action the

 situation dictated at the barest suggestion of danger. Jon-

 Tom intended to use him the way the allies had used

 pigeons in World War I to detect the presence of poison

 gas.

 Mudge would have considered the analogy unflattering,

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 15

 but Jon-Tom didn't care what the otter thought. Despite his

 questionable morals and wavering sense of loyalty, the

 otter had been a great help in the past and could be so

 again.

 Luck wasn't with Jon-Tom, however. There was no sign

 of Mudge in the taverns he normally frequented, nor word

 of him in the eating establishments or gambling dens. He

 hadn't been seen in some time in any of his usual haunts.

 Jon-Tom finally found mention of him in one of the

 more reputable rooming houses on the far side of town,

 where the stink from the central open sewer was less.

 The concierge was an overweight koala in a bad mood.

 A carved pipe dangled from her lips as she scrubbed the

 floor near the entrance.

 "Hay, I've seen him," she told Jon-Tom. Part of her

 right ear was missing, probably bitten off during a dispute

 with an irate customer.

 "I'd laik to know where he gone to much as you, man.

 He skip away owing me half a week's rent. That not bad

 as some have dun me, but I work hand to run this place

 and every silver counts."

 "Only a few days' rent, is it?" Jon-Tom squatted to be

 at eye level with the koala. "You know where he is, don't

 you? You're feeding me some story old Mudge paid you to

 tell anyone who came looking for him because he paid you

 to do so, because he probably owes everyone but you."

 She wrinkled her black nose and wiped her paws on her

 apron. Then she broke out in a wide grin. "You a clever

 one, you are, man, though strange of manner and talk."

 "I'm not really from around here," Jon-Tom confessed.

 "Actually my home lies quite a distance from Lynchbany.

 Nor am I a creditor or bill collector. Mudge is my friend."

 "Is he now?" She dropped her scrub brush in the pail of

 wash water and rose. Jon-Tom did likewise. She reached

 barely to his stomach. That wasn't unusual. Jon-Tom was

 something of a giant in this world where humans barely

 topped five and a half feet and many others stood shorter.

  

 16

 Alan Dean Foster

 "So you his friend, hay? That make you sort of unique.

 I wasn't aware the otter had any friends. Only acquain-

 tances and enemies."

 "No matter. I am his friend, and I need to get in touch

 with him."

 "What for?"

 "I am embarked on a journey in the service of the great

 wizard Clothahump."

 "Ah, that old fraud."

 "He's not a fraud. Haven't you heard of the battle for

 the Jo-Troom Gate?"

 "Yea, yea, I heard, I heard." She picked up the bucket

 of wash water, the scrub brush sloshing around inside. "I

 also know you never believe everything you read in the

 papers. This journey you going on for him. It going be a

 hard one, where someone might get deaded?"

 "Possibly."

 "Hay, then I tell you where the otter is and you make

 sure he go with you?"

 "That's the idea."

 "Good! Then I tell you where he is. Because I tell you

 true, man, he owe me half a week's rent. I just don't want

 to tell anyone else because maybe they get to him before

 me. But this is better, much better. Worth a few days'

 rent.''

 "About that rent," Jon-Tom said, jiggling the purse full

 of gold Clothahump had given him to pay for his passage

 across the Glittergeist.

 The concierge waved him off. "Hay nay, man. Just

 make sure he go with you on this dangerous journey. More

 better I dream of him roasting over some cannibal's spit in

 some far-off land. That will give me more pleasure than a

 few coins."

 "As you wish, madame." Jon-Tom put the purse aside.

 "Only, you must be sure promise to come back here

 someday and regale me with the gory details. For that I

 pay you myself."

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 17

 "I'll be sure to make it my business," Jon-Tom said

 dryly. "Now, where might I find my friend?"

 "Not here. North."

 "Oglagia Towne?"

 "Hay nay, farther west. In Timswitty."

 "Timswitty," Jon-Tom repeated. "Thanks. You know

 what business he has there?"

 She let out a short, sharp bark, a koalaish laugh. "Same

 business that otter he have any place he go: thievery,

 deception, debauchery, and drunkenness. I wager you find

 him easy enough you keep that in mind."

 "I will. Tell me. I've never been north of Lynchbany.

 What's Timswitty like?"

 She shrugged. "Like heah. Like Oglagia. Like any of

 the Bellwoods towns. Backward, crowded, primitive, but

 not bad if you willing stand up for your rights and work

 hard."

 "Thank you, madame. You're sure I can't pay you

 anything for the information you've given me?"

 "Keep you money and make you journey," she told

 him. "I look forward to hearing about the otter's slow and

 painful death upon you return."

 "Don't hold your breath in expectation of his demise,"

 Jon-Tom warned her as he turned to leave. "Mudge has a

 way of surviving in the damndest places."

 "I know he do. He slip out of heah without me smelling

 his going. I tell you what. If he don't get himself killed on

 this journey of yours, you can pay me his back rent when

 you return."

 "I'll do better than that, madame. I'll make him pay it

 himself, in person."

 "Fair enough. You have good traveling, man."

 "Good day to you too, madame."

 Jon-Tom had no intention of walking all the way to

 Timswitty. Not since Clothahump had provided him with

 funds for transport. The local equivalent of a stagecoach

 was passing through Lynchbany, and he bought himself a

 18

 Alan Dean Poster

 seat on the boxy contraption. It was pulled by four hand-

 some horses and presided over by a couple of three-foot-

 tall chimpmunks who cursed like longshoremen. They

 wore dirty uniforms and scurried about, wrestling baggage

 and cartons into the rear of the stage.

 Jon-Tom had the wrong notion of who was in charge,

 however. As he strolled past the team of four, one of the

 horses cocked an eye in his direction.

 "Come on, bud, hurry it up. We haven't got all day."

 "Sorry. The ticket agent told me you weren't leaving for

 another fifteen minutes."

 The mare snorted. "That senile bastard. I don't know

 what the world's coming to when you can't rely on your

 local service people anymore."

 "Tell me about it," said the stallion yoked to her.

 "Unfortunately we were bom with hooves instead of

 hands, so we still have to hire slow-moving fools with

 small brains to handle business details for us."

 "Right on, Elvar," said the stallion behind him.

 The discussion continued until the stage left the depot.

 "All aboard?" asked the mare second in harness. "Hold

 on to your seats, then."

 The two chipmunks squatted in the rear along with the

 luggage, preening themselves and trying to catch their

 breath. There was no need for drovers, since the horses

 knew the way themselves. The chipmunks were loaders

 and unloaders and went along to see to the needs of the

 team, who, after all, did the real work of pulling the stage.

 This would have been fine as far as Jon-Tom and the

 other passengers were concerned except that the horses had

 an unfortunate tendency to break into song as they galloped,

 and while their voices were strong and clear, not a one of

 them could carry a tune in a bucket. So the passengers

 were compelled to suffer a series of endless, screeching

 songs all the way through to Timswitty.

 When one passenger had the temerity to complain, he

 was invited to get out and walk. There were two other

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 19

 unscheduled stops along the way as well, once when the

 team got hungry and stopped to graze a lush meadow

 through which the road conveniently cut, and again when

 the two mares got into a heated argument about just who

 boasted the daintier fetlocks.

 It was dark when they finally pulled into Timswitty.

 "Come on," snapped the lead stallion, "let's get a

 move on back there. Our stable's waiting. I know you're

 all stuck with only two legs, but that's no reason for

 loafing."

 "Really!" One of the outraged travelers was an elegantly

 attired vixen. Gold chains twined through her tail, and her

 elaborate hat was badly askew over her ears from the

 jouncing the stage had undergone. "I have never been

 treated so rudely in my life! I assure you I shall speak to

 your line manager at first opportunity,"

 "You're talking to him, sister," said the stallion. "You

 got a complaint, you might as well tell me to my face."

 He looked her up and down. "Me, I think you ought to

 thank us for not charging you for the extra poundage."

 "Well!" Her tail swatted the stallion across the snout as

 she turned and flounced away to collect her luggage.

 Only the fact that his mate restrained him kept him from

 taking a bite out of that fluffy appendage.

 "Watch your temper, Dreal," she told him. "It doesn't

 do to bite the paying freight. Rotten public relations."

 "Bet all her relations have been public," he snorted,

 pawing the ground impatiently. "What's slowing up those

 striped rats back there? I need a rubdown and some sweet

 alfalfa."

 "I know you do, dear," she said as she nuzzled his

 neck, "but you have to try and maintain a professional

 -attitude, if only for the sake of the business."

 "Yeah, I know," Jon-Tom overheard as he made his

 way toward the depot. "It's only that there are times when

 I think maybe we'd have been better off if we'd bought

 ourselves a little farm somewhere out in the country and

 20

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSOKAWCE

 21

 hired some housemice and maybe a human or two to do

 the dirty work."

 He was the only one in the office. The fox and the other

 passengers already had destinations in mind.

 "Can I help you?" asked the elderly marten seated

 behind the low desk. With his long torso and short waist,

 the clerk reminded Jon-Tom of Mudge. The marten was

 slimmer still, and instead of Mudge's jaunty cap and bright

 vest and pantaloons he wore dark shorts and a sleeveless

 white shirt, a visor to shade his eyes, and bifocals.

 "I'm a stranger in town."

 "I suspect you're a stranger everywhere," said the

 marten presciently.

 Jon-Tom ignored the comment. "Where would a visitor

 go for a little harmless fun and entertainment in Timswitty?"

 "Well now," replied the marten primly, "I am a family

 man myself. You might try the Golden Seal. They offer

 folksinging by many species and occasionally a string trio

 from Kolansor."

 "You don't understand." Jon-Tom grinned insinuatingly.

 "I'm looking for a good time, not culture."

 "I see." The marten sighed. "Well, if you will go down

 the main street to Born Lily Lane and follow the lane to its

 end, you will come to two small side streets leading off

 into separate cul-de-sacs. Take the north close. If the smell

 and noise isn't enough to guide you further, look for the

 small sign just above an oil lamp, the one with the carving

 of an Afghan on it."

 "As in canine or cloth?"

 The marten wet his lips. "The place is called the

 Elegant Bitch. No doubt you will find its pleasures suita-

 ble. I wouldn't know, of course. I am a family man."

 "Of course," said Jon-Tom gravely. "Thanks."

 As he made his solitary way down the dimly lit main

 street, he found himself wishing Talea was at his side.

 Talea of the flame-red hair and infinite resourcefulness.

 Talea of the blind courage and quick temper. Did he love

 her? He wasn't sure anymore. He thought so, thought she

 loved him in return. But she was too full of life to settle

 down as the wife of an itinerant spellsinger who had not

 yet managed to master his craft.

 Not long after the battle of the Jo-Troom Gate, she had

 regretfully proposed they go their separate ways, at least

 for a little while. She needed time to think on serious

 matters and suggested he do likewise. It was hard on him.

 He did miss her. But there was the possibility she was

 simply too independent for any one man.

 He held to his hopes, however. Perhaps someday she

 would tire of her wanderings and come back to him. There

 wasn't a thing he could do but wait.

 As for Flor Quintera, the cheerleader he'd inadvertently

 brought into this world, she had turned out to be a major

 disappointment. Instead of being properly fascinated by

 him, it developed that she lusted after a career as a

 sword-wielding soldier of fortune and had gone off with

 Caz, the tall, suave rabbit with the Ronald Colman voice

 and sophisticated manners. Jon-Tom hadn't heard of them

 hi months. Flor was a dream that had brought him back to

 reality, and fast.

 At least this was a fit world in which to pursue dreams.

 At the moment, though, he was supposed to be pursuing

 medicine. He clung to that thought as he turned down the

 tiny side street.

 True to the marten's information he heard sounds of

 singing and raucous laughter. But instead of a single small

 oil lamp there were big impressive ones flanking the door,

 fashioned of clear beveled crystal.

 Above the door was a swinging sign showing a finely

 coiffed hound clad in feathers and jewels. She was gazing

 back over her furry shoulder with a distinctly come-hither

 look, and her hips were cocked rakishly.

 There was a small porch. Standing beneath the rain

 shield, Jon-Tom knocked twice on the heavily oiled door.

 It was opened by a three-foot-tall mouse in a starched suit.

 22

 Alan Dean Poster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 23

 Sound flooded over Jon-Tom as the doormouse looked him

 over.

 "Step inside and enjoy, sir," he finally said, moving

 aside.

 Jon-Tom nodded and entered. The doormouse closed the

 door behind him.

 He found himself in a parlor full of fine furniture and a

 wild assortment of creatures representing several dozen

 species. All were cavorting without a. care as to who they

 happened to be matching up with. There were several

 humans in the group, men and women. They moved freely

 among their intelligent furry counterparts.

 Jon-Tom noted the activity, listened to the lascivious

 dialogue, saw the movement of hands and paws, and

 suspected he had not entered a bar. No question what kind

 of place this was. He was still surprised, though he

 shouldn't have been. It was a logical place to look for

 Mudge.

 Still, he didn't want to take the chance of embarrassing

 himself. First impressions could be wrong. He spoke to the

 doormouse.

 "I beg your pardon, but this is a whorehouse, isn't it?"

 The mouse's voice was surprisingly deep, rumbling out

 of the tiny gray body. "All kinds we get in here," he

 muttered dolefully, "all kinds. What did you think it was,

 jack? A library?"

 "Not really. There aren't any books."

 The doormouse showed sharp teeth in a smile. "Oh, we

 have books, too. With pictures. Lots of pictures, if that's

 to your taste, sir."

 "Not right now." He was curious, though. Maybe later,

 after he'd found Mudge.

 "You look like you've been a-traveling, sir. Would

 you like something to eat and drink?"

 "Thanks, I'm not hungry. Actually, I'm looking for a

 friend."

 "Everyone comes to the Elegant Bitch in search of a

 friend.''

 "You misunderstand. That's not the way I mean."

 "Just tell me your ways, sir. We cater to all ways here."

 "I'm looking for a buddy, an acquaintance," Jon-Tom

 said in exasperation. The doormouse had a one-track

 mind.

 "Ah, now I understand. No divertissements, then? This

 isn't a meeting house, you know."

 "You're a good salesman." Jon-Tom tried to placate

 him. "Maybe later. I have to say that you're the smallest

 pimp I've ever seen."

 "I am not small and I am not a pimp," replied the

 doormouse with some dignity. "If you wish to speak to the

 madam..."

 "Not necessary," Jon-Tom told him, though he won-

 dered not only what she'd look like but what she'd be.

 "The fellow I'm after wears a peaked cap with a feather in

 it, a leather vest, carries a longbow with him everywhere

 he goes, and is an otter. Name of Mudge."

 The doormouse preened a whisker, scratched behind one

 ear. For the first time Jon-Tom noticed the small earplugs.

 Made sense. Given the mouse's sensitivity to sound, he'd

 need the plugs to keep from going deaf while working

 amid the nonstop celebration.

 "I recognize neither name nor attire, sir, but there is one

 otter staying with us currently. He would be in room

 twenty-three on the second floor."

 "Great. Thanks." Jon-Tom almost ran into the mouse's

 outstretched palm. He placed a small silver piece there and

 saw it vanish instantly.

 "Thank you, sir. If there is anything I can do for you

 after you have met with this possible friend, please let me

 know. My name is Whort and I'm the majordomo here."

 "Maybe later," Jon-Tom assured him as he started up

 the carved stairway.

 He had no intention of taking the doormouse up on his

 24

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 25

 offer. Not that he had anything against the house brand of

 entertainment. His long separation from Talea plagued him

 physically as well as mentally, but this wasn't the place to

 indulge in any lingering fancies of the flesh. It looked

 fancy and clean, but you never could tell where you might

 pick up an interesting strain of VD, and not only the

 human varieties. In the absence of modern medicine he

 didn't want to have to count on curing a good dose of the

 clap with a song or two.

 So he restrained his libido as he mounted the second-

 floor landing and hunted for the right door. He was

 interrupted in his search by a sight that reminded him this

 was a real place and not a drug-induced excursion into a

 dreamland zoo.

 A couple of creatures had passed him, and he'd paid

 them no mind. Coming down the hall toward him now was

 an exceptionally proportioned young woman in her early

 twenties- She was barely five feet tall and wore only a

 filmy peach-colored peignoir. The small pipe she smoked

 did little to blur the image of prancing, bouncing femininity.

 "Well, what are you staring at, tall-skinny-and-hand-

 some?"

 It occurred to Jon-Tom this was not intended as a

 rhetorical question, and he mumbled a reply that got all

 caught up in his tongue and teeth. Somehow he managed

 to shamble past her. Only the fact that Clothahump lay

 dying in his tree along with any chance Jon-Tom had of

 returning home kept him moving. His head rotated like a

 searchlight, and he followed the perfect vision with his

 eyes until she'd disappeared down the stairs.

 As he forced himself down the hall, that image lingered

 on his retinas like a bright light. Sadly, he found the right

 door and knocked gently, sparing a last sorrowful glance

 for the now empty landing.

 "Mudge?" He repeated the knock, was about to repeat

 the call, when the door suddenly flew open, causing him to

 step back hastily. Standing in the opening was a female

 otter holding a delicate lace nightgown around her. Her

 eyebrows had been curled and painted, and the tips of her

 whiskers dipped in gold. She was sniffling, an act to which

 Jon-Tom attached no particular significance. Otters sniffled

 a lot.

 She took one look at him before dashing past his bulk

 down the hallway, short legs churning.

 Jon-Tom stared after her, was about to go in when a

 second fur of the night came out, accompanied by an

 equally distraught third otter. They followed their sister

 toward the stairs. Shaking his head, he entered the dark

 room.

 Faint light flickered from a single chandelier. Golden

 shadows danced on the flocked wallpaper. Nothing else

 moved. Two curved mirrors on opposing walls ran from

 floor to ceiling. An elegant china washbasin rested on a

 chellow-wood dresser. The door to the John stood half-

 agape.

 A wrought-iron bed decorated with cast grapevines and

 leaves stood against the far wall. The headboard curved

 slightly forward. A pile of sheets and pillows filled the

 bed, an eruption of fine linen. Jon-Tom guessed this was

 not the cheapest room in the house.

 From within the silks and satins came a muffled but still

 familiar voice. "Is that you, Lisette? Are you comin' back

 to forgive me, luv? Wot I said, that were only a joke.

 Meant nothin' by it, I did."

 "That would be the first time," Jon-Tom said coolly.

 There was silence, then the pile of sheets stirred and a head

 emerged, black eyes blinking in the darkness. "Cor, I'm

 'aving a bloody nightmare, I am! Too much bubbly."

 "I don't know what you've had," Jon-Tom said as he

 moved toward the bed, "but this is no nightmare."

 Mudge wiped at his eyes with the backs of his paws.

 "Right then, mate, it is no nightmare. You're too damned

 big to be a nightmare. Wot^the 'ell are you doin' 'ere,

 anyways?"

 "Looking for you."

 26

 Alan Dean Poster

 "You picked the time for it." He vanished beneath the

 linens. "Where's me clothes?"

 Jon-Tom turned, searched the shadows until he'd located

 the vest, cap, pants and boots. The oversized bow and

 quiver of arrows lay beneath the bed. He tossed the whole

 business onto the mattress.

 "Here."

 "Thanks, mate." The otter began to flow into the

 clothes, his movements short and fast. " 'Tis a providence,

 it is, wot brings you to poor oF Mudge now."

 "I don't know about that. You actually seem glad to see

 me. It's not what I expected."

 Mudge looked hurt. "Wot, not 'appy to see an old

 friend? You pierce me to the quick. Now why wouldn't I

 be glad to see an old friend?"

 Something funny going on here, Jon-Tom mused warily.

 Where were the otter's usual suspicious questions, his

 casual abusiveness?

 As if to answer his questions the door burst inward.

 Standing there backlit by the light from the hall was a sight

 to give an opium eater pause.

 The immensely overweight lady badger wore a bright

 red dress fringed with organdy ruffles. Rings dripped from

 her manicured fingers, and it was hard to believe that the

 massive gems that encircled her neck were real. They

 threw the light back into the room.

 A few curious customers crowded in behind her as she

 raised a paw and pointed imperiously at the bed.

 "There he is!" she growled.

 "Ah, Madam Lorsha," said Mudge as he finished his

 dressing in a hurry, "I 'ave to compliment you on the

 facilities of your establishment."

 "That will be the last compliment you ever give any-

 one, you deadbeat. Your ass is a rug." She snapped her

 fingers as she stepped into the room. "Tork."

 Bending to pass under the sill was the largest intelligent

 warmlander Jon-Tom had yet encountered. It was a shock

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 27

 to see someone taller than himself. The grizzly rose at

 least seven and a half feet, wore black-leather pants and

 shirt. He also wore what appeared in the bad light to be

 heavy leather gloves. Their true nature was revealed all too

 quickly.

 Now, Jon-Tom did not know precisely what had tran-

 spired in the elegant room or beyond its walls or between

 his furry friend who was slipping on his boots in a

 veritable frenzy and the badger who was clearly the owner

 of the house of ill repute, but he suspected the sight of the

 full-grown grizzly adjusting the brass knuckles over his

 immense paws did not bode well for the future.

 "I understand your concern, luv," said Mudge as he

 casually recovered his bow and quiver, "but now that me

 mate's 'ere everything will be squared away."

 "Will it, now?" she said. The grizzly stood rubbing one

 palm with a massive fist and grinning. His teeth were very

 white. The badger eyed Jon-Tom. "Does he mean to say

 that you'll pay his bill?"

 "Pay his bill? What do you mean, pay his bill?"

 "He's been up here for three days without coming

 down, enjoying my best liquor and girls, and now he tells

 them he hasn't got a silver to his bastard name."

 Jon-Tom glared back at Mudge. The otter shrugged,

 didn't appear in the least embarrassed. "Hey, at least I was

 honest about it, mate. I told 'em I was broke. But it's all

 right, ain't it? You'll pay for me, won't you?"

 "You are his friend?" inquired the badger.

 "Well, yeah." He brought out the purse Clothahump

 had given him and jiggled it. The gold inside jingled

 musically, and the badger and the bear relaxed.

 She smiled at him. "Now that's more like it.. .sir. I

 can see that you are a gentleman, though I don't think

 much of your choice of friends." Mudge looked wronged.

 "How much does he owe you?"

 She didn't even have to think. "Two hundred and fifty,

 sir. Plus any damages to the linen. I'll have to check."

 28

 Alan Dean Poster

 "I can cover it," Jon-Tom assured her. He turned to

 look darkly at Mudge, hefting his ramwood staff. "If

 you'd be kind enough to give me a moment alone with

 him, I intend to take at least some of it out of his hide."

 The badger's smile widened. "Your pleasure is mine,

 sir." Again she snapped her fingers. The grizzly let out a

 disappointed grunt, turned, and ducked back through the

 doorway.

 "Take your time, sir. If you need anything helpful—

 acid, some thin wooden slivers, anything at all—the house

 will be delighted to supply it."

 The door closed behind her. As soon as they were alone,

 Jon-Tom began to search the room. There was only one

 window, off to the left. He tried to open it, found it

 wouldn't budge.

 " 'Ere now, mate," said Mudge, ambling over, "wot's

 the trouble? Just pay the old whore and let's be gone from

 'ere."

 "It's not that simple, Mudge. That money is from

 Clothahump, to pay for our passage at least as far as

 Snarken. And I lied about the amount. No way is there

 two hundred and fifty there."

 Mudge took a step backward as Jon-Tom strove to

 puzzle out the window. "Just a minute there, mate. Wot's

 that about payin' our way? Snarken, you said? That's all

 the way across the Glittergeist, ain't it?"

 "That's right." Jon-Tom squinted at the jamb. "I think

 this locks from the outside. Clever. Must be a way to

 break through it."

 Mudge continued backing toward the bed. "Nice of you

 to come lookin' for me, mate, but I'm afraid I can't go

 with you. And you say 'is wizardship is behind it?"

 "That's right. He's sick and I have to go get him some

 medicine."

 "Right. Give the old reptile me best wishes, and I 'ope he

 makes a speedy recovery. As for me, I've some (ravelin' to do

 for me 'ealth, and salt air doesn't agree with me lungs."

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 29

 "You're not going anywhere unless it's with me,"

 Jon-Tom snapped at him. "You take one step out that door

 and I'll call the madam. I saw the look in her eyes. She'd

 enjoy separating your head from the rest of you. So would

 that side of beef that came in with her."

 "I ain't "afraid of no bag of suet wot communicates in

 grunts," Mudge said.

 Jon-Tom turned from the window. "Then maybe I ought

 to call them. I can always find someone else to accompany

 me."

 Mudge rushed at him. "Take it easy, mate, 'old on. To

 Snarken, you say?"

 "Maybe beyond."

 "Ain't no place beyond Snarken."

 "Yes there is. Little town not too far inland from

 there." He fumbled between the windowpanes, was rewarded

 by a double clicking sound. "Ah,"

 He lifted the window slowly. Halfway up, something

 loud and brassy began to clang inside the building.

 "Shit! There's an alarm spell on this thing!" The

 sounds of pounding feet came from the hall.

 "No time for regrets, mate, and you'd best not stand

 there gawkin'." Mudge was over the sill in a flash and

 shinnying down the rainpipe outside. Jon-Tom followed

 more slowly, envying the otter his agility.

 By the time they reached the pavement, faces had

 appeared at the open window.

 "You won't get away from me, otter!" Madam Lorsha

 yelled, shaking her fist at them as they ran up the side

 street. At any moment Jon-Tom expected to hear the

 grizzly's footsteps behind them, feel huge paws closing

 around his throat. "I'll hunt you to the ends of the world!

 No one runs out owing Madam Lorsha!"

 "Funny what she said about the ends of the world,"

 Jon-Tom murmured as he followed the otter down endless

 alleyways and turns. He was sure Mudge had memorized

 30

 Alan Dean Foster

 this escape route before stepping inside the brothel. "That's

 where we're going."

 "There you go again, mate," said Mudge, "usin' them

 words like we and us."

 "I need your help, Mudge."

 They reached a main street and slowed to a walk as they

 joined the crowd of evening strollers. Timswirty was a

 good-sized town, much bigger than Lynchbany. It was

 unlikely Madam Lorsha's thugs would be able to find

 them. Jon-Tom tried to hunch over and mask his excep-

 tional height.

 "Clothahump is deathly ill, and we must have this

 medicine. I'm not any happier about making this trip than

 you are."

 "You must be, mate, because I'm not goin' to make it.

 Don't get me wrongo. You just 'elped me clear out of a

 bad spot. 1 am grateful, I am, but she weren't worth

 enough to make me put me life on the line for you, much

 less for that old word-poisoner."

 They edged around a strolling couple. "I need someone

 who knows the way, Mudge."

 "Then you needs some other bloke, mate. I ain't never

 been to Snarken."

 "I mean someone who knows the ways of the world,

 Mudge. I've learned a lot since I've been here, but that's

 nothing compared to what I don't know. I need your good

 advice as well as your unconventional knowledge."

 "Sure you do." Mudge puffed up importantly in spite of

 knowing better. "You think you can flatter me into goin',

 is that it? Or did you think I'd forgotten your intentions to

 be a solicitor in your own world? Don't take me for a fool,

 mate."

 "I have to have someone along I can trust," Jon-Tom

 went on. The otter's expression showed that was one ploy

 he wasn't expecting.

 "Now that ain't fair, guv'nor, and you knows it."

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 31

 "There will also," Jon-Tom added, saving the best for

 last, "be a good fee for helping me."

 That piqued the otter's interest. " 'Ere now, why didn't

 you come out and say that t' begin with instead of goin' on

 with all this twaddle about *ow 'is poor old 'ardheaded

 curmudgeonly 'oiiness was 'aving an attack of the gout or

 whatever, or 'ow badly you need me unique talents." He

 moved nearer and put a comradely arm around Jon-Tom's

 waist, as high as he could comfortably reach.

 "You 'ave a 'ell of a lot to learn about life, guv'nor."

 He rambled on as the evening fog closed in comfortingly

 around them, explaining that though he didn't know how it

 was in Jon-Tom's world, here it was gold that spoke

 clearest and bought one's trust. Not words.

 Jon-Tom allowed as how things indeed were different,

 deferring to the otter's claims while privately disagreeing.

 It did not matter who was right, however. All that mattered

 was that Mudge had agreed to join him.

 Mudge managed to steer them into a tavern in a high-

 class district. Having already flashed Clothahump's gold,

 Jon-Tom couldn't very well claim he didn't have the

 wherewithal to pay. So he went slowly through his own

 meal while the otter devoured a gigantic banquet more

 suitable to the appetite of Madam Lorsha's bouncer. As

 Mudge explained between mouthfuls, he'd burned up a lot

 of energy this past week and wanted to make certain he

 embarked on their long journey at full strength.

 Only when the otter had finished the final morsel did he

 lean contentedly back in his chair.

 "So you say we're goin' to distant Snarken, wot, and

 beyond, and I say there's nothin' beyond. Wot did 'is nibs

 say it would be like?"

 "He didn't exactly say." Jon-Tom picked at a sweet

 dessert. "Just the town where the store with the medicine

 is kept."

 "Yeah, I 'eard you say somethin' about a town. 'As it

 got a name?"

 32

 Alan Dean Poster

 Jon-Tom decided the bittersweet berry dessert was to his

 taste, finished the last of it. "Cranculam."

 "WOT?" Mudge suddenly was sitting bolt upright,

 dribbling the last traces of wrinklerry jelly from his lips as

 he gaped at the man sitting across the table from him. A

 few curious diners spared him a glance, returned to their

 business when they saw no fighting was involved.

 Mudge wiped at his sticky whiskers and spoke more

 softly, eyeing Jon-Tom sideways. "Wot did you say the

 name o' this dump was, guv'nor?"

 "Crancularn. I see you've heard of it."

 " 'Hard of it, you're bloody well right I've 'card of it.

 That's a place o' the dead, mate."

 "I thought there wasn't anything beyond Snarken."

 "Not supposed to be, mate, but then, nobody knows

 where this Crancularn is supposed to be either, except that

 it moves about from time to time, like lice, and that

 anyone who ever gets there never comes back. 'Tis the

 entrance to 'ell itself, mate. Surely you don't mean to go

 there."

 "Not only do I mean to go there, I intend to make a

 small purchase and return safely with it. And you're

 coming with me. You promised."

 "'Ere now, mate, when I made this 'ere bargain,

 weren't nothin' said about Cranculam. I'm out." He stepped

 off the chair and discovered he was straddling the far end

 of Jon-Tom's ramwood staff, which had been slipped

 under the table earlier.

 "Sit down," Jon-Tom ordered him. Gingerly, the otter

 resumed his seat. "You made a promise, Mudge. You

 agreed to accompany me. In a sense, you accepted the

 proffered fee. Where I come from an oral contract is

 enforceable when the details are known to both parties,

 and in this case the details are now known."

 "But Crancularn, mate. Can't this medicine be got

 anywheres else?"

 Jon-Tom shook his head. "I pressed Clothahump on that

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 33

 point repeatedly, and he never wavered. The only place it

 can be bought is Crancularn." He leaned over the table,

 spoke almost angrily. "Look, do you think I want to go

 gallivanting halfway across a strange world in search of

 some old fart's pills? I like Clothahump, sure, but I have

 my own life to live. What's left of it. If he dies leaving me

 stuck here, I might as well be dead. It's interesting

 enough, your world, but I want to go home, damn it! I

 miss Westwood on the opening night of a Steven Spielberg

 movie, and I miss the bookstores on Hollywood Boule-

 vard, and the beach, and bagels at the deli, and take-out

 Chinese food, and—"

 "All right, mate, I believe you. Spare me your memo-

 ries. So it's a contract, is it? At least you're learnin' 'ow to

 stick up for your rights." He smiled and tapped the staff.

 Jon-Tem was taken aback. He'd acted almost exactly the

 way Mudge would have if their situations had been re-

 versed. The thought was more than a little appalling.

 "You'll keep your end of the bargain, then?"

 "Aye." Mudge spoke with obvious reluctance. "I gave

 me word, so I'm stuck with it. Well, a short life but a

 happy one, they say. Tis better than dyin' in one's bed.

 Alone, anyway."

 "There's no need for all this talk of dying." Jon-Tom

 sipped at the mug of cold cider in front of him. "We are

 going to get to Cranculam, obtain the necessary medica-

 tion, and return here. All we're doing is running an

 errand."

 "That's right, mate. Just an errand." He belched derisively,

 to the unconcealed disgust of the well-dressed diners

 nearby. "Wot a day it was for me when you tumbled into

 that glade where I was huntin' so peaceful. Why couldn't

 you 'ave settled on some other poor bloke besides old

 Mudge?"

 "You were just lucky. As for your ill fortune, we don't

 know yet who's the fool in this play: you for agreeing to

 come with me or me for wanting you to."

 1

 34

 Alan Dean Foster

 "You singe me privates, mate," said Mudge, looking

 wounded, an expression he had mastered.

 "A wonder there's anything left to singe, after three

 days in that brothel. Finish up and let's find a place to

 sleep. I'm bushed."

 ill

 It took six tries to finally wake Mudge. After three days of

 nonstop debauchery and the huge mea! of the previous

 night, the otter had to be helped to the bathroom. He got

 his pants on backwards and his boots on opposite feet.

 Jon-Tom straightened him out and together they worked

 their way through Tims witty in search of transportation.

 From a nervous dealer badly in need of business they

 rented a low wooden wagon pulled by a single aged dray

 lizard, promising to drop it off at the port of Yarrowl at the

 mouth of the Tailaroam. From Yarrowl it should be a

 simple matter to book passage on a merchantman making

 the run across the Glittergeist to Snarken.

 They succeeded in slipping quietly out of town without

 catching the eye of Madam Lorsha or her hirelings and

 were soon heading south along the narrow trade road.

 Once within the forest Mudge relaxed visibly.

 " 'Peers we gave the old harridan the slip, mate."

 Jon-Tom's eyebrows lifted. "We?"

 "Well now, guv'nor, since 'tis we who are goin* on this

 little jaunt and we who are goin' to risk our lives for the

 sake o' some half-dotty ol' wizard, I think 'tis fair enough

 35

 36

 Alan Dean Foster

 for me to say that 'tis we who escaped the clutches of her

 haunches."

 "Plural good and plural bad, is that it?" Jon-Tom

 chucked the reins, trying to spur the ancient lumbering

 reptile to greater speed. "I guess you're right."

 "Nice of you to agree, mate," said Mudge slyly. "So

 'ow's about lettin' me 'ave a looksee at our money?"

 "I'll keep an eye on our travel expenses, thanks. I need

 your help with several matters, Mudge, but counting coin

 isn't one of them."

 "Ah well, then." Mudge leaned back against the hard

 back of the bench, put his arms behind his head, and gazed

 through the tinkling branches at the morning sun. "If you

 don't trust me, then to 'ell with you, mate."

 "At least if I end up there it'll be with our money

 intact."

 They stopped for lunch beneath a tree with bell leaves

 the size of quart jars. Mudge unpacked snake jerky and

 fruit juice. The appearance of the fruit juice made the otter

 shudder, but he was intelligent enough to know that he'd

 overdone his alcoholic intake just a hair the past week and

 that the percentage in his blood could not be raised much

 higher without permanent damage resulting. He poured

 himself a glass, wincing as he did so.

 Something glinted in the glass and he looked sharply to

 his right. Nothing amiss. Bell leaves making music with

 the morning breezes, flying lizards darting from branch to

 branch in pursuit of a psychedelic bee.

 Still... Carefully he set down his glass next to the

 wagon wheel. The dray lizard snoozed gratefully in a

 patch of sunlight, resting its massive head on its forelegs.

 Jon-Tom lay in the shade of the tree. All seemed right with

 the world.

 But it wasn't.

 "Back in a sec, mate." Mudge reached into the back of

 the wagon. Instead of food and drink he grabbed for his

 bow and quiver. The crossbow bolt that rammed into the

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 37

 wood between his reaching hands gave him pause. He

 withdrew them slowly.

 "A wise decision," said a voice from the trees.

 Jon-Tom sat up fast. "Who said that?"

 He found himself staring at the business ends of an

 assortment of pikes and spears, wielded by an unpleasant-

 looking assortment of furry assailants.

 "Me fault," Mudge muttered, angry at himself. "I

 'eard 'em comin', I did, but not quite soon enough."

 "It wouldn't have mattered," said the voice which had

 spoken a moment, before. "There are too many of us

 anyway, and though we are instructed to bring you in

 alive, it wasn't specified in what condition."

 Stepping through the circle of armed warmlanders was a

 coatimundi nearly as tall as Mudge. His natural black

 striping had been enhanced with brown decorations painted

 on muzzle and tail. One front canine was missing, and the

 remainder of the long, sharp teeth were stained yellow. He

 rested one paw on the hilt of a thick, curved dagger belted

 at his waist. The dagger was also stained, but not yellow.

 Jon-Tom thought rapidly. Like Mudge's bow, his own

 duar and ramwood staff lay in the bed of the wagon. If he

 could just get to them.... Well, what if he could? As this

 apparent leader of their captors had said, they were badly

 outnumbered.

 "Right. Wot is it you want with us?" Mudge asked.

 "We're just a couple of innocent travelers, poor prospects

 for thieves."

 The coati shook his head and glared at them over his

 long snout out of bright black eyes. "I'm not interested in

 your worldly possessions, whatever they might be. I've

 been ordered by my master to bring you in."

 "So Lorsha found us out anyway," the otter muttered.

 He sounded wistful. "Well, them three days were almost

 worth dyin' for. You should've been with me, mate."

 "Well, I wasn't, and they're not worth dying for from

 my viewpoint."

 38

 Alan Dean Foster

 "Calm yourselves," said the coati. "No one's speaking

 of dying here. Cooperate and give me no trouble, and I'll

 give none back to you." He squinted at Mudge. "And

 what's all this chattering about someone named Lorsha?"

 Mudge came back from his memories and made a face

 at the coati. "You ain't 'ere to take us back to Madam

 Lorsha of Timswitty?"

 "No. I come from Malderpot."

 "Malderpot?" Jon-Tom gaped at him.

 "Big town," Mudge informed him, "full of dour folk

 and little pleasure."

 "We like it," said a raccoon hefting a halberd.

 "No offense," Mudge told him. "Who wants us in

 Malderpot?"

 "Our master Zancresta," said the coati.

 "Who's this Zancresta?" Jon-Tom asked him.

 A few incredulous looks showed on the faces of their

 captors, including the coati.

 "You mean you've never heard of the Master of Dark-

 ness and Manipulator of the Secret Arts?"

 Jon-Tom shook his head. " 'Fraid not."

 The coati was suddenly uncertain. "Perhaps we have

 made a mistake. Perhaps these are not the ones we were

 sent to fetch. Thile, you and Alo check their wagon."

 Two of the band rushed to climb aboard, began going

 through the supplies with fine disregard for neatness. It

 took them only moments to find Jon-Tom's staff and duar,

 which Thile held up triumphantly.

 "It's the spellsinger, all right," said the muskrat.

 "Keep a close watch on his instrument and he'll do us

 no harm," the coati instructed his men.

 "I mean you no harm in any case," said Jon-Tom.

 "What does your Zancresta want with us?"

 "Nothin' good. You can be certain o' that, mate," said

 Mudge.

 "So one of you, at least, has heard of our master."

 "Aye, I've 'eard of 'im, thVmgh I don't mean to flatter

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 39

 'is reputation by it." He turned to Jon-Tom. "This 'ere

 Zancresta chap's the 'ead wizard not only for the town of

 Malderpot but for much of the northern part o' the Bellwoods.

 See, each town or village 'as its own wizard or sorcerer or

 witch, and each o' them claims to be better than 'is

 neighbor at the arts o' magickin'."

 "Zancresta is the best," said the coati. "He is the

 master."

 "I ain't goin' to argue the point with you," said Mudge.

 "I 'ave no interest whatsoever in wizardry debates and

 functions, for all that I seem to be gettin' repeatedly

 screwed by 'em.

 "Now, if it's the spellsinger 'ere you're come after, take

 'im and let me go. I'm only a poor traveler tryin' 'is best

 to make it down the windy road o' life, and I've 'ad a 'ard

 enough time makin* ends meet as it is without gettin'

 caught up again in the world's troubles."

 "It may be true," said the coati, eyeing him unflatteringly.

 "But I have my orders. They say I am to bring back the

 spellsinger known as Jon-Tom and any who travel with

 him. You will have the chance to plead your case before

 the master. Perhaps he will let you go."

 "And if *e don't?"

 The coati shrugged. "That's not my affair."

 "Easy for you to say," Mudge grumbled.

 Spears prodded Jon-Tom and Mudge into the back of the

 wagon, where they sat with their hands tied behind their

 backs. A couple of the coati's henchmen took over the

 reins. The little procession swung back northward, slightly

 west of Timswitty but also in the opposite direction from

 Lynchbany and the River Tailaroam.

 "This Zancresta 'as a bad reputation, mate," Mudge

 whispered to his companion. "Mind now, I'm not denyin'

 'is abilities. From wot I've 'eard 'e ain't bad at sorcerin',

 but 'e's unscrupulous as 'ell. Cheats on 'is spells and

 short-changes 'is incantations, but 'e's too powerful for

 anyone to go up against. I've 'ad no dealin's with 'im

 40

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 41

 tneself, and I stay clear o' folk from Malderpot. As I said,

 they ain't much for partyinV

 "From what you tell me about their chief wizard, I can

 see why they aren't."

 "Right." Mudge nodded past the drivers. "Now, 'tis

 clear this 'ere ringtail knows nothin' o' wot 'is master

 wants with us. That may be somethin' we can turn to our

 advantage. So somehow we 'ave to get clear o' this

 charmin' bunch o' throat-slitters before we're brought up

 before Zancresta himself. If that 'appens, I 'ave this funny

 feelin' that we'll never see the shores o' the Glittergeist or

 any other calm water."

 "Don't underestimate this one." Jon-Tom indicated the

 coati, who strolled along in the lead, talking with a couple

 of his band. "He seems more than the usual hired thug."

 "Fancy clothes can't hide one's origin," said Mudge.

 "No harm in trying." He raised his voice. "Hey, you,

 leader!"

 "Shut up," snapped the muskrat from the driver's

 bench. He showed a short sword. "Or you will eat your

 own tongues for breakfast and can see how your words

 taste then."

 "I just want a word with your chief. Surely one as

 illustrious as he can spare a prisoner a few minutes of his

 time."

 Evidently the coati's ears were as sensitive as his nose,

 because he slowed his pace until he was walking alongside

 the wagon.

 "I bear you no hatred, spellsinger. What do you wish to

 talk about? By the way, my name is Chenelska."

 "Don't you have any idea what your master wants with

 us? What use has so great and powerful a wizard for a

 mere spellsinger like me?"

 Chenelska considered a moment, then glanced past Jon-

 Tom to Mudge. "Tell me, water rat, is this tall human as

 ignorant as he appears or is he making fun of me?"

 "No." Mudge spoke with sufficient conviction to per-

 suade the coati that he was telling the truth. " 'E's as

 dumb as he looks."

 "Thanks, Mudge. Nice to know I can rely on your good

 opinion."

 "Don't mention it, mate."

 "Can it be," said the dumbfounded Chenelska, "that

 you have never heard of the rivalry between our master

 and the one that you serve?"

 "The one I serve? You mean Clothahump? I don't serve

 him. I'm not an apprentice or anything like that. He has

 another who serves him. We're just friends."

 "Indeed. Good enough friends that you undertake a

 long, dangerous mission on his behalf when he lies too ill

 to travel himself. A mission to cross the Glittergeist in

 search of a rare and precious medicine he requires to cure

 himself."

 "How the hell do you know that?" Jon-Tom said

 angrily.

 The coati grinned and laughed, a single sharp barking.

 "It seems that this Clothahump does have another who

 serves him. A true famulus. A fine, intelligent, hard-

 working apprentice who serves faithfully and well. Except

 when he's been treated to a few stiff sips of good belly-

 warmer."

 "Sorbl! That stupid big-eyed sot!"

 The coati nodded, still grinning. "Not that we had to

 work hard at it, you understand. The poor little fellow

 merely wanted companionship, and other servants of my

 master provided it, whereupon the turtle's servant grew

 extremely talkative."

 "I'll bet he did," Jon-Tom mumbled disconsolately.

 "It has always been a matter of great contention in this

 part of the world," the coati explained, "as to who the

 greater wizard is. Clothahump of the tree or my master

 Zancresta. It didn't bother my master when opinion was

 divided and drifted back and forth. But it has lately

 become apparent that outside the immediate environs of

 42

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 43

 Malderpot, the consensus is that your Clothahump is the

 greater." He moved closer to the wagon and lowered his

 voice so that his band could not overhear.

 "It's true that saving the whole world is a tough act to

 follow. When word came of the victory over the Piated

 Folk at the Jo-Troom Gate, and the part your master

 Clothahump played in it, there was very little my master

 couid do to counteract the great shift in public opinion,

 and he has been in a murderous mood ever since."

 ' 'As if Clothahump saved all the warmlands just to spite

 him," Jon-Tom said disgustedly.

 "Be that as it may, wizards can be very touchy about

 such things. Zancresta dwells on evil spells and prepares

 toxic presents and calls down all who cross him. He has

 been dangerous to approach ever since this happened. The

 only way for him to regain his self-respect and cancel his

 shame is to do something to make himself again be

 considered the equal of the turtie of the tree. Yet he sees

 no way to do this. This Clothahump refuses all challenges

 and duels."

 "Clothahump," Jon-Tom explained politely, "doesn't

 think much of games."

 "Word travels that he does not because he is getting

 senile.''

 Jon-Tom didn't reply. There was nothing to be gained by

 arguing with Chenelska and angering him.

 "Therefore, my master is badly frustrated, since there is

 no way he can prove that he is truly the most skilled in the

 wizardly arts.

 "Word arrived recently about this severe sickness

 Clothahump is suffering from and that he cannot cure with

 his own magic, that he needs medicine obtainable only

 from a land beyond Snarken. My master was delighted by

 it."

 "When we get out of this," Jon-Tom whispered to

 Mudge, "I'm going to string Sorbl up by his feet and hang

 him beak-first over an open bottle of brandy."

 "Mate, I truly 'ope you get that opportunity," said

 Mudge.

 "Thanks to the information the wizard's famulus pro-

 vided, we were able to locate and intercept you," said

 Chenelska.

 "What does your master intend doing with us?"

 "I do not know, man. For now, it would seem sufficient

 to prevent you from carrying out your mission and returning

 with the necessary medicine. Perhaps after he has weakened

 enough my master will take pity on him and travel south to

 allow him the privilege of begging for his help."

 "Clothahump would never do that," Jon-Tom assured

 the coati. "He'll spit in Zancresta's face before he asks his

 help."

 "Then I imagine he will die." The coati spoke without

 emotion. "It is of no import to me. I only serve my

 master."

 "Yes, you're a good slave."

 The coati moved closer to the wagon and slapped the

 sideboard angrily. "I am no slave!"

 "A slave is one who unquestioningly carries out the

 orders of his master without considering the possible

 consequences."

 "I know the consequences of what I do." Chenelska

 glowered at him, no longer friendly. "Of one consequence

 I am sure. I will emerge from this little journey far better

 ofif than you. You think you're smart, man? I was instruct-

 ed in all the tricks a spellsinger can play. You can make

 only music with your voice and not magic without your

 instrument. If I choose to cut your throat, I will be safer

 still.

 "As for the water rat that accompanies you, it may be

 that the master will free him. If he does so, I will be

 waiting for him myself, to greet him as is his due." With

 that, the coati left them, increasing his stride to again

 assume his place at the head of the little procession.

 44

 Alan Dean Foster

 "I'm beginnin' to wish you'd left me at Madam Lorsha's,"

 the otter said later that night.

 "To Tork's tender mercies?" Jon-Tom snorted. "You'd

 be scattered all over Timswitty by now if I hadn't shown

 up to save you, and you know it."

 "Better to die after three days o' bliss than to lie in

 some filthy cell in Malderpot contemplatin' a more mun-

 dane way o' passin'."

 "We're not dead yet. That's something."

 "Is it now? You're a fine one for graspin' at straws."

 "I once saw a man start a fire with nothing more than a

 blade of dry grass. It kept both of us warm through a night

 in high mountains."

 "Well 'e ain't 'ere and neither is 'is fire."

 "You give up too quickly." Jon-Tom looked ahead, to

 where Chenelska strode proudly at the head of his band.

 "I could put in for a writ of habeas corpus after we arrive,

 but somehow I don't think it would have much sway with

 this Zancresta."

 "Wot's that, mate? Some kind of otherworldly magic?"

 "Yes. We're going to need something like it to get out

 of this with our heads in place. And let's not forget poor

 Clothahump for worrying about our own skins. He's de-

 pending on us."

 "Aye, and see 'ow well 'is trust is placed."

 They kept to back roads and trails, staying under cover

 of the forest, avoiding intervening communities. Chenelska

 intended to avoid unnecessary confrontations as well as

 keep his not always reliable troops clear of civilization's

 temptations. So they made good time and after a number

 of days arrived on the outskirts of a town too small to be a

 city but too large to be called a village.

 A crudely fashioned but solid stone wall encircled it, in

 contrast to the open city boundaries of Lynchbany and

 Timswitty. It wasn't a very high wall, a fact Jon-Tom

 commented on as they headed west.

 A small door provided an entrance. The prisoners were

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 45

 I

 hustled quickly down several flights of stone stairs, past

 crackling torches smelling of creosote, and thrust into a

 dark, odiferous cell. An obese porcupine turned the large

 key in the iron lock and departed, leaving them alone in

 the near blackness.

 "Still optimistic, mate?" Mudge leaned against a dank

 wall and sniffed. "Cast into a dungeon without hope of

 rescue to spend our last hours talkin' philosophy."

 Jon-Tom was running his fingers speculatively over the

 mossy walls. "Not very well masoned or mortared."

 "I stand corrected," said Mudge sardonically. "Talkin'

 about architecture."

 "Architecture's an interesting subject, Mudge. Don't be

 so quick to dismiss it. If you know how something is put

 together, you might learn how to take it apart."

 "That's right, guv'nor. You find us a loose stone in the

 wall, take it out, and bring the whole stinkin* city down on

 top o' us. Then we'll be well and truly free." He slunk eff

 toward a comer.

 "Not even a chamber pot in this cesspool. I 'ope they

 kill us fast instead o' leavin' us to die with this smell." He

 moved back to grab the bars of the cell, shouted toward the

 jailer.

 "Hey mate, get your fat ass over "ere!"

 In no hurry, the porcupine ambled across the floor from

 his chair. When he reached the bars he turned his back,

 and Mudge backed hastily away from the two-foot-long

 barbed quills.

 "I will thank you to be a little more polite."

 "Right, sure, guv. Take 'er easy. No offense. You can

 imagine me state o' mind, chucked in 'ere like an old

 coat."

 "No, I cannot," said the jaiier. "I do my job and go

 home to my family. I do not imagine your state of mind."

 "Excuse me," said Jon-Tom, "but have you any idea

 how long we are to be held in here?"

 "Ah, no."

 46

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 47

 Slow. Their jailer was a little slow in all areas. It was a

 characteristic of all porcupines, and this one was no

 exception. That didn't mean he was a moron. Tread

 slowly, Jon-Tom warned himself.

 "Our possessions have become separated from us," he

 went on. "Do you know what was done with them?"

 Lazily, the porcupine pointed upward. "They are in the

 main guard chamber, to be taken out and sent along with

 you when word comes for you to be moved."

 "Do you know what's going to happen to us?"

 The porcupine shook his head. "No idea. None of my

 business. I do my job and stay out of other people's

 business, I do."

 Mudge instantly divined his companion's intentions,

 said sadly, "We were searched before we were sent down

 here. I wonder if they found your sack o' gold, mate?"

 "Sack of gold?" Evidently the porcupine wasn't all that

 slow. For the first time the half-lidded eyes opened fully,

 then narrowed again. "You are trying to fool me. Chenelska

 would never leave a sack of gold in a place where others

 could find it and steal it."

 "Yeah, but wot if 'e didn't think to look for somethin'

 like that?" Mudge said insinuatingly. "We just don't want

 'im to get 'is 'ands on it, after 'im throwin' us down 'ere

 and all. If you wanted to find out if we were lyin' or not,

 all you'd 'ave to do is go look for yourself, mate. You 'ave

 the keys, and we ain't 'ardly goin' to dig our way out o'

 this cell while you're gone."

 ' 'That is true.'' The jailer started for the stairs. ' 'Do not

 get any funny ideas. You cannot cut through the bars, and

 there is no one else here but me."

 "Oh, we ain't goin' anywhere, we ain't," Mudge insisted.

 "By the way," Jon-Tom added offhandedly, "as long as

 you're going upstairs, maybe you could do something for

 us? This is an awfully dank and somber place. A little

 music would do a lot to lighten it up. Surely working

 down here day after day, the atmosphere must get pretty

 depressing after a while."

 "No, it does not," said the porcupine as he ascended

 the stairs. "I like it dank and somber and quiet, though I

 would be interested in hearing the kind of mxisic you could

 play. You see, Chenelska told me you were a spellsinger."

 Jon-Tom's heart sank. "Not really. I'm more of an

 apprentice. I don't know enough yet to really spellsing. I

 just like to make music."

 "Nonetheless, I cannot take the chance."

 "Wait!" Jon-Tom called desperately. "If you know

 what spellsinging's all about, then surely you know that a

 spellsinger can't make magic without his instrument."

 "That is so." The porcupine eyed him warily.

 "Well then, how about this? You bring down my duar,

 my instrument, but after you give it to me you chain my

 hands so I can't pull them back through these bars. That

 way if I tried to sing anything that sounded dangerous to

 you, you could yank the duar away from me before I could

 finish and I couldn't do a thing to stop you from doing

 so."

 The jailer considered, wrestling with unfamiliar con-

 cepts. Jon-Tom and Mudge waited breathlessly, glad of the

 darkness. It helped to conceal their anxiety.

 "Yes, I think that would be safe enough," the jailer said

 finally. "And I am curious to hear you sing. I will see if

 your instrument is with your other possessions. While I

 look for the sack of gold."

 "You won't regret it!" Jon-Tom called after him as he

 disappeared up the stairway. As soon as he'd left, Mudge

 looked excitedly at his friend.

 "Cor, mate, can you really do anythin' tied like that?"

 "I don't know. I have to try. It's clear he wasn't just

 going to hand me the duar without some kind of safeguard.

 I just don't know what I could sing that could help us out

 of here before he decided it sounded threatening and took

 the duar away from me. Not that I ever know what to sing.

 48

 Alan Dean Foster

 I had the same problem in my own world. But it was all I

 could think of."

 "You better think o' somethin', mate, or it'll be two

 worlds that'll be missin' you permanent. I don't know

 what this Zancresta has planned for us, but as much as 'e

 hates Clothahump, I don't figure on 'im bein' overly polite

 to a couple o* the turtle's servants."

 "We're not his servants. At least, you're not."

 "Aye, an' you saw 'ow far that got me with Chenelska,

 I'm stuck with the bedamned label just like you are, like it

 or not. So think of somethin'. Somethin' effective, and

 fast."

 "I don't know." Jon-Tom fought with his memory.

 "Practically everything I know is hard rock."

 Mudge gestured at the walls. "Strikes me as damned

 appropriate."

 "Not like that," Jon-Tom explained impatiently. "It's a

 name for a kind of popular music. You've heard me sing

 it."

 "Aye, an1 I don't pretend to understand a word o' it."

 "Then you have something in common with my parents."

 Footsteps coming down the stairs interrupted them

 momentarily.

 "You'd better think up somethin' quick, mate."

 "I'll try." He stuck his arms out between the bars,

 waiting expectantly. His spirits were boosted by the sight

 of the undamaged duar dangling from one of the jailer's

 paws.

 "There was no gold," the porcupine declared sourly.

 "Sorry." Mudge sighed fitfully. "About wot one would

 expect from a snurge like Zancresta. Still, 'tweren't no

 'arm in lookin', were there?"

 "What were you two talking about while I was gone? I

 heard you talking." The porcupine looked suspicious.

 "Nothin' much, mate. Just makin' conversation. We

 talk while you're right 'ere, too, don't we?"

 "Yes, that is so. Very well." He stepped forward and

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 49

 made as if to hand the duar to Jon-Tom, then hesitated. "I

 do not know."

 "Oh, come on," Jon-Tom urged him, a big smile

 frozen on his face. "A little music would be nice. Not

 everyone has the chance to hear an apprentice spellsinger

 make music just for pleasure."

 "That is what concerns me." The jailer stepped back

 and rummaged through a wooden chest. When he returned

 it was to clap a pair of thick leather cuffs on Jon-Tom's

 wrists. They were connected to one another by a chain. He

 also, to Jon-Tom's dismay, tied a thick cord around the

 neck of the duar.

 "There," he said, apparently satisfied, and handed over

 the instrument. Jon-Tom's fingers closed gratefully over

 the familiar wooden surface, lightly stroked the double set

 of strings.

 The porcupine returned to his chair, keeping a firm grip

 on his end of the cord. "Now if you try anything funny I

 don't even have to run over to you. All I have to do is pull

 this rope." He gave the cord an experimental yank, and

 Jon-Tom had to fight to hold onto the duar.

 "I need a little slack," he pleaded, "or I won't be able

 to play at all."

 "All right." The jailer relaxed his grip slightly. "But if I

 think you are trying to trick me I will pull it right out of

 your hands and smash it against the floor."

 "Don't worry. I wouldn't try anything like that. Would

 I, Mudge?"

 "Oh, no, sor. Not after you've all but given this

 gentlebeing your word." The otter assumed an air of mock

 unconcern as he settled down on the floor to listen. "Play

 us a lullaby, Jon-Tom. Somethin' soothin' and relaxin' to

 'eip us poor ones forget the troubles we face and the

 problems o' the world."

 "Yes, play something like that," asked the porcupine.

 Jon-Tom struggled with himself. Best to first play a

 couple of innocuous ditties to lull this sod into a false

 SO

 Alan Dean Foster

 sense of security. The trouble was, being mostly into

 heavy metal, he knew about as many gentle tunes as he did

 operatic arias. Somehow something by Ozzy Osbourne or

 Ted Nugent didn't seem right, nor did anything by KISS.

 He considered "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" by AC/DC,

 decided quickly that one stanza would cost him control of

 the duar permanently.

 He decided to take a chance with some golden oldies.

 Maybe a few of Roy Orbison's songs, even if his voice

 wasn't up to it. It seemed to work. The porcupine lazed

 back in his chair, obviously content, but still holding tight

 to the cord.

 Jon-Tom segued into the part of one song where the

 lyrics went "the day you walked out on me" and the jailer

 didn't stir, but neither did the walls part to let them

 through. Discouraged, he moved on to "America" by Neil

 Diamond. A few faint images of the Statue of Liberty and

 Ellis Island flickered fitfully in the cell, but Jon-Tom did

 not find himself standing safe at either location.

 Then he noticed Mudge. The otter sat back in the shad-

 ows making long pulling and throwing motions. It took

 Jon-Tom a moment to understand what his companion was

 driving at. In the middle of humming "Won't Get Fooled

 Again," he figured the otter's movements out.

 The porcupine had tied the cord to the duar in order to

 be able to jerk it quickly out of Jon-Tom's hands. If they

 could somehow gain control of the rope, they might be

 able to make a small lasso and cast it toward a weapon or

 even the big keyring lying on the table.

 In order to try that, of course, they had to somehow

 incapacitate their jailer. Since he seemed half-asleep al-

 ready, Jon-Tom softened his voice as much as possible and

 sang the sweetest ballads he could think of, finishing with

 "Sounds of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel. That par-

 ticularly apt selection set the porcupine to snoozing. To

 make sure, he added a relaxing rendition of "Scarborough

 Fair."

 I

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 51

 Carefully, he tugged gently on the cord. Two half-witted

 eyes popped wide open and the line went taut.

 "I told you not to try anything," the porcupine growled.

 For an instant Jon-Tom was sure they'd lose the duar

 along with their last hope. "I didn't mean anything!" he

 said desperately. "It's only that playing in the same

 position all the time hurts my arms. I wasn't doing

 anything else."

 "Well..." The jailer slumped back in his chair. "See

 that you don't do it no more. Please play another song. I

 never heard anything like them. Pretty."

 Despairingly, Jon-Tom simply sang the first thing that

 came to mind, the theme song from one of the Rocky

 films. Maybe it was his frustration, perhaps his sudden

 indifference. Whatever the reason, he almost thought he

 could feel the power running through him. He tried to

 focus on it, really working himself into the useless song in

 the hope it might lead to something better.

 A faint smell of ozone began to filter into the air of the

 dungeon. Something crackled near the ceiling. Mudge

 scrambled warily back into the farthest comer of the cell.

 Jon-Tom jumped as an electric shock ran up his wrists. He

 tried to pull back into the cell, found he was trapped

 against the bars by the leather wristcuffs and linking chain.

 Oh, shit, he mumbled silently. I've gone and done

 something weird again.

 Only this time he was trapped up against whatever it

 was. Something was materializing in the air next to him.

 He tugged futilely at the leather cuffs, dropping the duar in

 the process. The instrument was glowing brightly as it

 bounced around on the floor like a toad at a disco.

 The slow-moving porcupine was on his feet and staring.

 He'd abandoned the cord in favor of edging 'round toward

 the rack of weapons. Selecting a long spear, he aimed it at

 the cell. Jon-Tom was uncomfortably aware of the fact that

 if the jailer so chose, he could run him through where he

 stood.

 "What are you doing, spellsinger? Stop it!"

 52

 Alan Dean Foster

 "I'm not doing anything!" Jon-Tom prayed his hysteria

 was as convincing as it was heartfelt. "Untie my hands!"

 The jailer ignored him, gazing in stupefied fascination at

 the slowly rotating cylinder of fluorescent gas that had

 gathered inside the cell. "Don't lie to me. Something is

 happening. Something is happening!"

 "I know something's happening, you moron! Let me

 loose!" He wrenched uselessly at his bonds.

 The jailer continued to keep his distance. ' 'I am warning

 you, spellsinger. Put an end to this magic right now!"

 Keeping his thorny back against the walls, he edged

 around until he was standing close to the bars. From there

 he was able to prod the prisoner with the tip of his spear. It

 was extremely sharp.

 "I can't stop it! I don't know what I did and I don't

 know what's happening."

 "I do not believe you." The jailer's voice had turned

 shrill and he was jabbing seriously with the spear.

 Suddenly a loud bang came from the cloud of gas. The

 glowing cylinder dissipated to reveal a massive, powerful

 form at least seven feet tall standing in the center of the

 jail cell. It had to crouch to keep from bumping its head

 against the ceiling.

 Mudge quailed back against the wall while Jon-Tom

 thought wildly about his last song. The indifferently sung

 song which apparently had been far more effective than all

 its anxiety-laden predecessors. The theme song from that

 Rocky film ... what was it?

 Oh, yeah. The "Eye of the Tiger."

 Actually there were two of them, and they glared around

 in bewilderment. Jon-Tom had never seen a white tiger

 before, much less one that wore armor and stood on two

 legs. Leather and brass strips made a skirt which covered

 the body from waist to the knees. Additional armor protected

 the back of arms and legs, was secured over the legs with

 crisscrossing leather straps. A finely worked brass helmet

 shielded the head, and an intricate inscription covered the

 thin nose guard. Holes cut in the top of the helmet allowed

 the ears to protrude.

 The huge furry skull glanced in all directions, taking in

 unanticipated surroundings. White and black ears flicked

 nervously as a quarter ton of tiger tried to orient itself.

 Paws dropped to sheaths, and in an instant each one held a

 five-foot-long sword with razor-sharp serrated edges.

 "By all the nine feline demons, what's going on heah? I

 declare I'll have some answers right quick or there'll be

 hell to pay." Slitted eyes fixed on the bars. She took a step

 forward and glared down at the quivering porcupine.

 "You! What is this place? Why am ah locked up? Y'all

 53

 54

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 55

 answer me fast or ah'll make a necklace out of yo

 backbone!"

 "G-g-g-guards," the porcupine stammered. It came out

 as a whisper. Aware his cry wasn't reaching very far, he

 raised his voice. "Guards!"

 "Quit stabling and talk to me." Feminine, Jon-Tom

 decided. Thunderous, but undeniably feminine. The conju-

 ration was a she. She turned to eye Mudge. "Yo theah.

 Why won't he talk to me?"

 "You talkin' to me, m'dear?" Mudge inquired reluctantly.

 She reached down and lifted him easily off the floor with

 one paw, setting her second sword aside but within easy

 reach. Fully extended, her claws were nearly as long as

 Mudge's fingers.

 "Now, who else would ah be talking to, you little

 sponge?"

 "Blimey, m'dear, I ain't considered the possibility."

 "Guards!" Suddenly it occurred to the porcupine that

 since he wasn't having much luck obtaining help with his

 voice, it might be efficacious to employ his feet. He raced

 up the stairs with unexpected speed. "Guards, help me!"

 "Hey, yo!" The tigress dropped Mudge, who promptly

 retreated to the back of the cell. "Come back heah! Yo

 heah me?"

 "He thinks you're a threat to him."

 "What's that?" For the first time she focused her

 attention on Jon-Tom.

 "I said, he thinks you're a threat to him. Because

 you're in here with us."

 "Y'all are awfully big fo a human."

 "And you're awfully big period." He continued strug-

 gling with the cuffs that bound him to the bars of the cell.

 "What is this place?" She turned slowly to make a

 more careful inspection of the prison. She did not appear

 frightened. Only irritated.

 "We're in a dungeon in a town called Malderpot."

 "Nevah heard of it," said the feline amazon. "A dun-

 geon, you say. I can see that fo mahself, honey." She eyed

 his restraints. "Why ah yo tied up like that?"

 "I'm a spellsinger," he explained. "I've been doing a

 little singing and I think I accidently brought you here."

 "So that's it!" Jon-Tom did his best not to cower away

 from those burning yellow eyes. She stepped back and

 hefted both her swords. "Well then, y'all can just send me

 back."

 He squirmed against the bars. "I, uh, I'm afraid I can't

 do that. 1 don't know how I brought you here. I can try

 later, maybe. But not without my duar." He pointed into

 the room. "And I can't play it with my hands tied like

 this."

 "Well, that much is obvious. Ah've got eyes, yo

 know."

 "Very pretty eyes, too."

 "Huh," she said, a little more softly. "Spellsingah, yo

 say? Yo sound moah like a solicitah to me." Jon-Tom

 didn't inform her about his legal training, not being sure of

 her opinion of solicitors.

 One sword suddenly cut forward and down. Mudge let

 out a half moan, half squeak, and Jon-Tom closed his

 eyes. But the sword passed between the bars to delicately

 cut the chain linking his wrist cuffs. A couple of quick

 twists of a clawed paw and his hands were free. He spoke,

 as he rubbed the circulation back into his wrists.

 "I still need the duar." Loud noises reached them from

 somewhere on the level above, and he hurried his introduc-

 tions. '-'That's Mudge, I'm Jon-Tom Meriweather." He

 recalled the song he'd sung prior to "Eye of the Tiger."

 "By any chance would your name be Sage, Rosemary, or

 Thyme?" Somehow Scarborough didn't seem a possibility.

 "Close enuf. Ah am called Rcseroar."

 Jon-Tom nodded to himself. Once again his songs and

 his desires had gotten themselves thoroughly mixed. He

 took a deep breath, repeated the gist of a by now familiar

 story.

 56

 Alan Dean Foster

 DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 57

 "We're trying to help a wizard who is dying. Because

 of that a jealous wizard is trying to prevent us from doing

 so. He had us captured, brought here, and locked up."

 "That's no business of mine," said the tigress. "Yo

 really think man eyes are pretty?"

 "Extremely so." Why didn't Mudge chip in with a

 word or two? he wondered. He was better at this sort of

 thing. But the otter hugged his comer of the cell and kept

 his mouth shut. Jon-Tom plunged on. "Like topaz."

 "Yo have a gift of words as well as music, don't yo?

 Well, let me tell yo, ah am not subject to the simple

 flattery of the male of any species!''

 "Of course you're not. I didn't mean for you to think I

 was intentionally flattering you, or anything like that. I just

 made a simple statement of fact."

 "Did y'all, now? Where do yo have to go to help this

 dying friend of yours?"

 "Across the Glittergeist Sea."

 "So ah'm that fah west, am ah?" She shook her head in

 wonder. "It's a peculiah world we live in."

 "You don't know the half of it," Jon-Tom muttered.

 "Ah've nevah been to an ocean, much less the

 Glittergeist." She looked out through the bars. "So that's

 yo instrument fo making magic?"

 "It is. Also, the keys are on the table nearby. If we

 could get ahold of the rope attached to the duar, we could

 maybe drag the keys over here." He eyed the stairwell.

 "But I don't think we've got much time."

 "Well, sugah, if it's the keys you want. . ." Roseroar

 put one paw on a bar to the left, the other on the bar

 immediately opposite, inhaled mightily, and pushed. Mus-

 cles rippled beneath the armor.

 There was a groan and the metal bent like spaghetti. The

 tigress stepped through the resultant gap, walked over to

 the table, and picked up the keyring.

 "Yo still want these?"

 Mudge was already out in the corridor. Jon-Tom was

 eht on his heels. He snatched the duar and slung it over

 his shoulder.

 "I think we'll be able to manage without them. Roseroar,

 you're quite a lady."

 "Aye, with a delicate and ladylike touch," Mudge

 "Ah think ah like you two," she said thoughtfully,

 staring at Mudge, "though ah can't decide if y'all are

 trying to be funny or flattering." She gestured with the two

 heavy swords. "Ah hope fo yo sake y'all are trying to be

 funny."

 Jon-Tom hastened to reassure her. "You've got to take

 whatever Mudge says with a grain of salt. Comments like

 that are part of his nature. Sort of like a disease." He

 turned to bestow a warning look on the otter.

 "Ah can see that," said the tigress. "Well, ah don't

 know how ah'm going to get home, but ah sure don't

 fancy this hole. Let's go somewhere quiet and talk."

 "Suits me," said Jon-Tom agreeably.

 At that moment the porcupine appeared at the top of the

 stairs, preceded by a pair of big, heavily armed wolves.

 They saw Roseroar about the time she saw them. She

 emitted a battle cry, a mixture of roar and curse, that shook

 moss from the ceiling. Waving both swords like propel-

 11'' lers, she charged the stairway, which cleared with astonishing

 speed.

 Mudge executed a little bow and gestured with his right

 hand. "After you, master o' magic and spellsinger

 extraordinaire."

 Jon-Tom made a face at him, hurried to follow Roseroar

 upward. From ahead sounded shouts, screams, frantic

 cries, and yelps. Above all rose the tigress's earthshaking

 growls.

 "Don't be so quick to compliment me," Jon-Tom told

 the otter. "She's not what I was trying to conjure up."

 "I know that, guv'nor," said Mudge, striding along

 happily in his companion's wake. "It never is, wot? But

 58

 Alan Dean Poster

 even though you never get wot you're after with your

 spellsingin', wotever you gets always seems to work out."

 "Tell me that again when she finds out there's no way I

 can send her home-"

 "Now, mate," Mudge told him as they started up to the

 next level, "wot's the use o' creatin' worry where there

 ain't none? Besides," he went on, his grin widening, "if

 she turns quarrelsome, you can tell 'er 'ow beautiful 'er

 eyes are."

 "Oh, shut up."

 They emerged into the main guardroom, which looked

 as if a modest typhoon had thundered through it. Every

 table was overturned and broken furniture littered the floor.

 Broken spears and pikes sopped up spilled liquid from

 shattered jugs. A couple of the guards remained, decoratively

 draped over the broken furniture. None offered a protest as

 Jon-Tom and Mudge began to search the still intact chests

 and drawers.

 One .yielded Mudge's longbow and arrows, another

 Jon-Tom's ramwood fighting staff. There was no sign of

 the full purse Clothahump had given him, nor did he

 expect to find it. Mudge was more disappointed than his

 companion at the absence of the gold.

 "Bloody bedamned stinkin' thieves," he mumbled, ig-

 noring the fact that he'd lifted a purse or two in his own

 time.

 "Be quiet." Jon-Tom led him up the next flight of

 stairs. "From the way you're carrying on, you'd think this

 was the first time you'd ever been penniless."

 "I'm not sayin' that, mate," replied Mudge, putting a

 leash on his lamentations, "but when I gets friendly with a

 bit o' gold or silver and it ups and disappears on me, I feel

 as if I've lost a good friend. The loss strikes me to the

 quick."

 "One of these days it'd be nice to see you get so

 emotional over something besides money."

 "You do me an injustice, mate." Mudge carried his bow

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 59

 in front of him, a hunting arrow notched and ready to fire.

 If the fates were kind they'd give him one clear shot at

 Chenelska or his bullyboys. Nothing would please him

 more than to be able to give the coati the shaft.

 "You want emotional?" he continued as they climbed.

 "You should've seen me at Madam Lorsha's."

 "I'm talking about honest emotion, about caring. Not

 lust."

 "Cor, you mean there's a difference?"

 The third landing was the last. They emerged into a

 small open square lit by torches and oil lamps. To their left

 was the city wall, to the right the outermost buildings of

 the town. The light danced wildly as sources of illumina-

 tion were hastily moved to different positions. Shouts and

 yells filled the air.

 Jon-Tom ducked as a wolf whizzed over his head. It

 pinwheeled once before striking the wall with a sickening

 thud.

 Roseroar's efforts threw everything into confusion. Horns

 and shouts were beginning to rouse a whole section of the

 community. Lights were starting to appear in nearby windows

 as residents were awakened by the commotion.

 Mudge bounced gleefully up and down, pointing at the

 evidence of the chaos the tigress was causing. "Wot a

 show! The poor buggers must think the 'ole bloomin' city

 is under attack."

 "Maybe they're right." Jon-Tom started forward.

 "Hey, you two!" Roseroar called to them as she idly

 batted aside a large rat armed with a short sword who had

 tried to sneak under her guard. The rodent went skidding

 across the paving stones, shedding bits and pieces of armor

 and flesh as he went. "Ovah heah! This way!"

 They ran toward her. Jon-Tom placed his staff in front of

 him while Mudge ran backward to guard their rear, his

 short legs a blur. As they ran they dodged spears and

 arrows. Mudge responded to each attack individually, and

 6O

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 61

 they were rewarded as one figure after another fell from

 the wall above.

 Snarling, a hyena draped in heavy chain mail headed

 right for Ion-Tom, swinging a viciously studded mace over

 his head. Jon-Tom blocked it with his staff, and the

 ramwood held as the mace's chain wrapped around it. He

 pulled and twisted in one motion, bringing the knobbed

 end of the staff down on his assailant's helmet. The hyena

 dropped like a stone. They ran on, Jon-Tom unwrapping

 the chain from his staff.

 Then they were up against the thick wooden door in the

 city wall. Crossbow bolts thudded into the wood or splintered

 against the rock as the wall's garrison struggled to regroup.

 Mudge inspected it rapidly. "Locked, damn it, from the

 other side!"

 "Pahdon me," said Roseroar. While they covered her

 she put her back against the door, dug her feet into the

 pavement, and shoved. The door broke with a snap, the

 wood holding but not the iron hinges. It fell with a crash.

 The trio ran out, pursued by yells and weapons. No one

 chose to pursue beyond the city wall in person. The tigress

 had demonstrated what she could do at close range, and

 Malderpot's soldiery had taken the lesson to heart. They

 held back, waiting for someone higher up to give the

 necessary orders, and praying those directions would take

 their time arriving.

 Before they did, the fugitives were deep within the

 concealment offered by the Bellwoods and the night.

 Eventually they located a place where several giant trees

 had fallen, forming a natural palisade, and settled in

 behind the wooden barricade nature had so thoughtfully

 provided.

 The long run hadn't troubled Jon-Tom, who was a

 good distance runner, nor Mudge, who was blessed with

 inexhaustible energy, but Roseroar was tired. They waited

 while she caught her breath.

 There in the moonlight she pulled off her helmet, undid

 the thick belt that held both swords, and put it aside. Then

 she leaned back against one fallen trunk. Her bright yellow

 eyes seemed to glow in the darkness. Physically she was

 unharmed by the fighting, though her armor showed plenty

 of cuts and dents.

 "We owe you our lives," he finally told her.

 "Yes, ah expect that's so. Damned if ah know how

 ah'm going to collect on that debt. Yo told me yo didn't

 mean to conjuh me up in the first place?"

 "That's right," he confessed. "It was an accident. I

 was trying to put our jailer to sleep. When it didn't work I

 got upset and spellsang the first thing that came to mind

 and—poof—there you were."

 "Ah was the first thing that came to yo mind?"

 "Well, not exactly. Matter of fact, I've never seen

 anybody like you. This kind of thing happens to me a lot

 when I try to spellsing."

 She nodded, turned to look to where Mudge was already

 searching the bushes for something edible. "Is he telling

 the truth, squirt?"

 "Me name is Mudge, lady o' the long tooth," said the

 voice in the bushes, "and I'll make you a deal right now.

 You can like me o' not, but you don't call me names and

 I'll respond likewise."

 "Ah favor politeness in all things, being a lady of

 refined tastes," she replied evenly.

 Mudge restrained the first reply that came to mind, said

 instead, "Aye, 'e's tellin' you the truth. A powerful spellsinger

 'e is. Maybe the most powerful ever, though we ain't yet

 sure o' that. 'E certainly ain't. See, 'e 'as this bad 'abit o'

 tryin' to do one thing and 'e ends up doin' something total

 unexpected."

 Jon-Tom spread his hands in a gesture of helplessness.

 "It's true. I have this ability but I don't seem able to

 control it. And now it's caused me to go and inconve-

 nience you."

 62

 Alan Dean Foster

 "That's a fine, politic way of putting it, sub. Going to

 the Glittergeist, yo said?"

 "And across it. We have to get to Snarken."

 "Ah've heard of Snahken. It's supposed to be an inter-

 esting place, rich in culture." She thought a long moment,

 then sighed. "Since yo say y'all can't send me home, ah

 guess ah maht as well tag along with y'all. Besides, ah

 kind of like the way you have with words, man." Her eyes

 glittered and Jon-Tom felt suddenly uncomfortable, though

 he wasn't sure why.

 "Oh, Vs a fine one with words 'e is, luv," Mudge said

 as he reappeared. He was carrying an armful of some

 lime-green berries. Jon-Tom took a few, bit into one, and

 found the taste sweet. More out of politeness than any

 expectation of acceptance, the otter offered some to the

 tigress.

 "Bleh!" she said as she pulled back. She smiled widely,

 displaying an impressive array of cutlery. "Sun, do ah

 look like the kind to enjoy weeds?"

 "No you don't, luv, but I thought I'd be polite, since

 you place such store by it."

 She nodded thankfully as she scanned the surrounding

 woods. "Come the morning ah'll find mahself something

 to eat. This appeahs to be good game country. Theah

 should be ample meat about."

 Jon-Tom was glad she wasn't looking at him when she

 said that. "I'm sure we'll run across something edible."

 He turned to the otter. "What about our pursuit, Mudge?"

 The otter responded with his ingratiating, amused bark.

 "Why, them sorry twits will be all night just tryin' t' get

 their stories straight. From wot I saw on our way out, most

 of 'em were your typical city guard and likely ain't in

 Zancresta's personal service. It'd be that arse'ole Chenelska

 who'd be put in charge o' organizin' any kind o' formal

 chase. By the time 'e gets the word, gets 'is conflictin'

 reports sorted out, and puts together anythin' like a formal

 pursuit, we'll be well out o' it."

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 63

 "Then you don't think they'll be able to track us

 down?"

 "I've been seein' to the coverin' o' our tracks ever since

 we left that cesspool o' a town, mate. They won't find a

 sign o' us."

 "What if they do come after us, though? We can't

 conceal all of Roseroar's petite footprints."

 Mudge assumed a crafty mien. "Aye, that they might,

 guv. They'll likely comb a wide front to the south, knowin'

 that we're to be headin' for the ol' Tailaroam. They can

 run up every tree in the Bellwoods without fmdin' sign o'

 us, because we ain't goin' t' go south. We'll fool 'em

 inside out by goin' west from 'ere. We're so far north o'

 the river we might as well do it anyhows."

 Jon-Tom struggled to recall what he'd been taught of the

 local geography. "If you go far enough west of here, the

 forest disappears and you're into the Muddletup Moors."

 "You got it, mate. No one would think t'ave a looksee

 for us there."

 "Isn't that because no one ever does go in there?"

 "That's right. Wot better place o' safety t' flee to?"

 Jon-Tom looked doubtful as he sat back against a fallen

 trunk. "Mudge, I don't know about your thinking."

 "I'm willin' enough to entertain alternative suggestions,

 m'lord warbler, but you're 'ardly in shape for some straight

 arguin'."

 "Now, that I won't argue. We'll discuss it in the

 morning."

 "In the mornin', then. Night to you, mate."

 The thunder woke Jon-Tom. He blinked sleepily and

 looked up into a gray sky full of massive clouds. He

 blinked a second time. White clouds were common

 enough in this world, just as they were in his own. But not

 with black stripes.

 He tried to move, discovered he could not. A huge furry

 arm lay half on and half off his chest while another curved

 behind his head to form a warm pillow. Unfortunately, it

 64

 Alan Dean Foster

 M

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 65

 was also cutting off the circulation to his throbbing left

 arm.

 He tried to disengage himself. As he did so the thunder

 of Roseroar's purring was broken by a coughing snarl. She

 stirred, but her arms did not budge.

 Another shape moved nearby. Mudge was sitting up on

 the bed of leaves he'd fashioned for himself. He looked

 over toward Jon-Tom as he stretched.

 "Well, don't just sit there, damn it. Give me a hand

 here!"

 "Wot, and interrupt a charmin' domestic tableau like

 that?"

 "Don't try to be funny."

 "Funnier than that?" He pointed at the helpless spell-

 singer. "Couldn't be if I tried, mate."

 Glaring at him, Jon-Tom tried again to disengage him-

 self, but the weight was too much for him. It was like

 trying to move a soft mountain.

 "Come on, Mudge. Have a heart."

 "Who, me? You know me better than that, mate." As

 he spoke Roseroar moved in her sleep, rolling partly across

 Jon-Tom's midsection and chest. He gasped and kicked his

 legs in a frantic attempt to extricate himself. The tigress

 purred thunderously atop him.

 Mudge took his time getting to his feet, ambled lazily

 over to eye the arrangement thoughtfully. "Our dainty lady

 friend sounds 'appy enough. Best not to disturb 'er. I don't

 see wot you're fussin' about. It's not like she's got a 'and

 over your mouth. From where I stands it looks almost

 invitin', though I can't say as 'ow I'd trade places with

 you. I'd be lost under 'er."

 Jon-Tom put a hand on the tigress's face and pushed.

 She stirred, moved slightly, and nearly bit his fingers off.

 He withdrew his hand quickly. She'd moved enough for

 him to breathe again, anyway.

 ' 'Any signs of pursuit?''

 " 'Aven't smelled or 'card a thing, mate. I think they're

 still too disorganized. If they are tookin' fq_r us, you can be

 sure 'tis to the south o' Malderpot and not 'ere. Still, the

 sooner we're on our way, the better." He turned, began

 gathering up his effects.

 "Come on now, lad. No time to waste."

 "That's real funny, Mudge. How am I supposed to get

 her off me?"

 "Wake 'er up. Belt 'er one, mate."

 "No thanks. I like my head where it is. On my shoul-

 ders. I don't know how'd she react to something like that

 in her sleep."

 Mudge's eyes twinkled. "Be more interestin' to see wot

 she might do while she's awake."

 There was no need to consider extreme action, however.

 All the talking had done its job. Roseroar snorted once and

 opened those bottomless yellow eyes.

 "Well, good morning, man."

 "Good morning yourself. Roseroar, I value your friend-

 ship, but you're breaking my arm."

 Her expression narrowed. "Suh, are you insinuatin' that

 ah am too heavy?"

 "No, no, nothing like that." Somewhere off in the

 bushes Mudge was attending to necessary bodily functions

 while trying to stifle his laughter. "Actually, I think you're

 rather svelte."

 "Svelte." Roseroar considered the word. "That's nice.

 Ah like that. Are you saying I have a nice figure?"

 "I never saw a tiger I didn't think was attractive," he

 confessed, honestly enough.

 She looked mildly disappointed as she rolled off him.

 "What the fuzz-ball said is true. Yo ah at least half

 solicitah."

 Jon-Tom rolled over and tried shaking his left arm,

 trying to restore the circulation at the same time as he was

 dreading its return. Pins and needles flooded his nerves

 and he gritted his teeth at the sensation.

 66

 AlaA Dean Foster

 "I did study some law in my own world. It might be my

 profession someday."

 - "Spellsinging's better," she rumbled. "Svelte?"

 "Yeah." He sat up and began pulling on his boots.

 "Nice. Ah think ah like yo, man."

 "I like you, too, Roseroar."

 "Svelte." She considered the new word thoughtfully.

 "Want to know mah word fo yo?" She was putting on her

 armor, checking to make sure each catch and strap was

 fastened securely. She grinned at him, showing six-inch

 fangs. "Cute. Yo ah kind o' cute."

 "Gee." Jon-Tom kept his voice carefully neutral as he

 replied. "That's nice."

 Mudge emerged from the woods, buttoning his shorts.

 "Gee, I always thought you were cute, too, mate."

 "How'd you like your whiskers shoved up your ass?"

 Jon-Tom asked him softly.

 "Calm down, mate." Somehow Mudge stifled his laugh-

 ter. "Best we get goin' westward. We've given 'em the

 slip for the nonce, but sooner o' later the absence o' tracks

 o' mention of us south o' 'ere will hit 'im as distinctly

 peculiar and they'll start 'untin' for us elsewhere."

 Jon-Tom slung the duar over his shoulder and hefted his

 staff. "Lead on."

 Mudge bowed, his voice rich with mock servility. "As

 thy exalted cuteness decrees."

 * Jon-Tom tried to bash him with the staff, but the otter

 was much too fast for him.

 v

 It took several days for them to reach the outskirts of the

 Moors, a vast and, as far as anyone knew, uninhabited

 land which formed the western border of the Bellwoods

 and reached south all the way to the northern coast of the

 GHttergeist Sea. After a day's march into the Moors'

 depths, Mudge felt safe enough to angle southward for the

 first time since fleeing the city.

 Transportation across the ocean was going to present a

 problem. No ports existed where the ocean met the south-

 ern edge of the Moors, and Jon-Tom agreed with the otter

 that it would be a bad idea to follow the shoreline back

 eastward toward the mouth of the Tailaroam. Chenelska

 would be sure to be looking for them in ports like Yarrowl.

 As for the Moors themselves, they looked bleak but

 hardly threatening. Jon-Tom wondered how the place had

 acquired its widespread onerous reputation. Mudge could

 shed little light on the mystery, explaining only that rumor

 insisted anyone who went into the place never came out

 again, a pleasant thought to mull over as they hiked ever

 deeper into the foggy terrain.

 It was a sorry land, mostly gray stone occasionally

 67

 68

 Alan Dean Foster

 stained red by iron. There were no trees, few bushes, a

 little grass. The sky was a perpetual puffy, moist gray.

 Fog and mist made them miserable, except for Mudge.

 Nothing appeared to challenge their progress. A few mind-

 less hoots and mournful howls were the only indications of

 mobile inhabitants, and nothing ever came close to their

 camps.

 They marched onward into the heart of the Muddletup,

 where none penetrated. As they moved ever deeper into

 the Moors the landscape began to change, and not for the

 better. The last stunted trees disappeared. Here, in a place

 of eternal dampness and cloud cover, the fungi had taken

 over.

 Enormous mushrooms and toadstools dripped with mois-

 ture as Jon-Tom and his companions walked beneath

 spore-filled canopies. Some of the gnarled, ugly growths

 had trunks as thick as junipers, while others thrust deli-

 cate, semi-transparent stems toward the sodden sky. There

 were no bright, cheerful colors to mitigate the depressing

 scene, which was mostly brown and gray. Even the occa-

 sional maroon or unwholesomely yellow specimen was a

 relief from the monotonous parade of dullness.

 Some of the flora was spotted, some striped. One

 displayed a checkerboard pattern that reminded Jon-Tom of

 a non-Euclidian chessboard. Liverworts grew waist-high,

 while lichens and mosses formed a thick, cushiony carpet

 into which their boots sank up to the ankles. Clean granite

 was disfigured by crawling fungoid corruption growing on

 its surface. And over this vast, wild eruption of thallophytic

 life there hung a pervasive sense of desolation, of waste

 and fossilized hope.

 The first couple of days had seen no slowing of their

 progress. Now their pace began to degenerate. They slept

 longer and spent less time over meals. It didn't matter

 what food they took from their packs or scavenged from

 the land: everything seemed to have lost its flavor. What-

 ever they consumed turned flat and tasteless in their

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 69

 mouths and sat heavy in their bellies. Even the water

 which fell fresh from the clouds had acquired a metallic,

 unsatisfying aftertaste.

 They'd been in the Moors for almost a week when

 Jon-Tom tripped over the skeleton. Like everything else

 lately its discovery provoked little more than a tired mur-

 mur of indifference from his companions.

 "So wot?" muttered Mudge. "Don't mean a damn

 thing."

 "Ah'm sitting down," said Roseroar. "Ah'm tired."

 So was Jon-Tom, but the sight of the stark white bone

 peeping out from beneath the encrusting rusts and mildews

 roused a dormant concern in his mind.

 "This is all wrong," he told them. "There's something

 very wrong going on here."

 "No poison, if that's wot you're thinkin', mate." Mudge

 indicated the growths surrounding them. "I've been care-

 ful. Everythin' local we've swallowed 'as been edible,

 even if it's tasted lousy."

 "Lucky yo," said Roseroar. "No game at all fo me.

 Ah find mahself reduced to eating not just weeds, but this

 crap. Ah declah ah've nevah been so bored with eating in

 all man life."

 "Boring, tired, tasteless.. .don't you see what's hap-

 pening?" Jon-Tom told them.

 "You're gettin' worked up over nothin', mate." The

 otter was lying on a mound of soft moss. "Settle yourself

 down. 'Ave a sip o' somethinV

 "Yes." Roseroar slipped off her swordbelt. "Let's just

 sit heah and rest awhile. There's no need to rush. We

 haven't seen a sign of pursuit since we left that town, and

 ah don't think we're likely to encounter any now."

 "She's right, mate. Pull up a soft spot and 'ave a sit."

 "Both of you listen to me." Jon-Tom tried to put some

 force into his voice, was frightened to hear it emerge from

 his lips flat and curiously empty of emotion. He felt sad

 and utterly useless. Something had begun to afflict him

 70

 Alan Dean Foster

 from the day they'd first set foot in the Moors. It was

 something more than just boredom with their surround-

 ings, something far more penetrating and dangerous. It

 was a grayness of the heart, and it was digging its

 insidious way deeper and deeper into their thoughts, kill-

 ing off determination and assurance as it went. Eventually,

 it would ruin their bodies as well. The skeleton was proof

 enough of that. Whatever was into them was patient and

 clever, much too calculating, it occurred to Jon-Tpm, to be

 an accident of the environment.

 He tried to find the enthusiasm to fight back as he

 turned to scream at the landscape. "Who are you? Why

 are you doing this to us? What is it you wan??"

 He felt like a fool. Worse, he knew his companions

 might think he was becoming unhinged. But they said

 nothing. He would've welcomed some outcry of skepti-

 cism. Instead, the sense of hopelessness settled ever deeper

 around them.

 Nothing moved within the Moors. Of one thing he was

 fairly confident: this wasn't wizardry at work. It was too

 slow. He had to do something, but he didn't know what.

 All he could think of was how ironic it would be if, after

 surviving Malderpot, they were to perish here from a

 terminal case of the blahs.

 So he was startled when a dull voice asked, "Don't you

 understand it all by now?"

 "Who said that?" He whirled, trying to spot the speak-

 er. Nothing moved.

 "I did."

 The voice came from an eight-foot-tall mushroom off to

 his left. The cap of this blotchy ochre growth dipped

 slightly toward him.

 "Not that I couldn't have," said another growth.

 "Nor I," agreed a third'.

 "Mushrooms," Jon-Tom said unsteadily, "don't talk."

 "What?" said the first growth. "Sure, we're not loqua-

 cious, but that's a natural function of our existence. There

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 71

 isn't much to talk about, is there? I mean, it's not just a

 dull life, man, it's boring. B-o-r-i-n-g."

 "That's about the extent of it," agreed the giant toad-

 stool against which Roseroar rested. She moved away from

 it hastily, showing more energy than she had in the

 previous several days, and put a hand to the haft of each

 sword.

 "I mean, give it some thought." The first mushroom

 again, which was taking on something of the air of a

 fungoid spokesman. Jon-Tom saw no lips or mouth. The

 words, the thoughts, came fully formed into his mind

 through a kind of clammy telepathy. "What would we talk

 about?"

 "Nothing worth wasting the time discussing," agreed

 another mushroom with a long, narrow cap in the manner

 of a morrel. "I mean, you spend your whole existence

 sitting in the same spot, never seeing anything new, never

 moving around. So what's your biggest thrill? Getting to

 make spores?"

 "Yeah, big deal," commented the toadstool. "So we

 don't talk. You never hear us talk, you think fungoids

 don't talk. Ambulatories are such know-it-alls."

 "It doesn't matter," said the second mushroom. "Noth-

 ing matters. We're wasting our efforts."

 "Wait." Jon-Tom approached the major mushroom,

 feeling a little silly as he did so. "You're doing something

 to us. You have been ever since we entered the deep

 moors."

 "What makes you think we're doing anything to you?"

 said the spokesthing. "Why should we make the effort to

 do anything to anyone?"

 "We've changed since we entered this land. We feel

 different."

 "Different how, man?" asked the toadstool.

 "Depressed. Tired, worn-out^ useless, hopeless. Our

 outlook on life has been altered."

 "What makes you think we're responsible?" said the

 72

 Alan Dean Poster

 second mushroom. "That's just how life is. It's the normal

 state of existence. You can't blame us for that."

 "It's not the normal state of existence."

 "It is in the Moors," argued the first mushroom.

 Jon-Tom held his ground. "There's some kind of telepa-

 thy at work here. We've been absorbing your feelings of

 hopelessness, your idea that nothing's worth much of

 anything. It's been eating at us."

 "Look around you, man. What do you see?"

 Jon-Tom turned a slow circle. Instead of the half-hoped-

 for revelation, his gaze swept over more of what they'd

 seen the past dreary days—rocks, mushrooms, lichens and

 mosses, mist and cloud cover.

 "Now, I ask you," sighed the first mushroom, "is that

 depressing or what? I mean, it is de-press-ing."

 Jon-Tom could feel his resolve slipping dangerously.

 Mudge and Roseroar were half-asleep already. He had the

 distinct feeling that if he joined them, none of them would

 ever wake up again. The sight of white bone nearby

 revitalized him. How long had it taken the owner of that

 skeleton to become permanently depressed?

 "I guess you might consider your existence here

 depressing."

 "Might consider?" moaned the toadstool. "It is de-

 pressing. No maybes about it. Like, I'm afiingus, man.

 That's depressing all by itself."

 "I've eaten some mushrooms that were downright excit-

 ing," Jon-Tom countered.

 "A cannibal, too," said the tall toadstool tiredly. "How

 depressing." It let out a vast telepathic sigh, a wave of

 anxiety and sadness that rolled over Jon-Tom like a wave.

 He staggered, shook off the cobwebs that threatened to

 bind his mind. "Stop that."

 "Stop what? Why sweat it? Just relax, man. You're full

 of hurry, and desire, and all kinds of useless mental

 baggage. Why knock yourself out worrying about things

 that don't matter? Nothing matters. Lie down here, relax,

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 73

 take it easy. Let your foolish concerns fly bye-bye. Open

 yourself to the true blandness of reality and see how much

 better you'll feel for it."

 Jon-Tom started to sit down, wrestled himself back to an

 upright stance. He pointed toward the skeleton.

 "Like that one?"

 "He was only reacting sensibly," said the toadstool.

 "He's dead." Jon-Tom's voice turned accusing. "You

 killed him. At least, this place killed him."

 "Life killed him. Slain by dullness. Murdered by mo-

 notony. He did what comes naturally to all life. He

 decayed."

 "Decayed? You flourish amidst decay, don't'you? You

 thrive on it."

 "He calls this thriving," mumbled another toadstool.

 "He went the way of all flesh, that's all. Sure, we broke

 down his organic components. Sometimes I wonder why

 we bother. It's all such a waste. We live for death. Talk

 about dull, man. It's, like, numbsville."

 Jon-Tom turned and walked over to shake Roseroar,

 shoving hard against the enormous shoulder. "Wake up,

 Roseroar. Come on, wake up, damn it!"

 "Why bother?" she murmured sleepily, eyeing him

 through half-closed eyes. "Let me sleep. No, don't !et me

 sleep." The feeble plea hit him like a cry for help.

 "Don't worry, I won't. Wake up!" He continued to

 shake her until she sat up and rubbed at her eyes.

 He moved over to where Mudge lay sprawled on his

 side, kicked the otter ungently. "Move it, water rat! This

 isn't like you- Think about where we're going. Think of

 the ocean, of clear salt air."

 "I'd rather not, mate," said the otter tiredly. "No point

 to it, really."

 "True true, true," intoned the fungoid chorus of doom.

 "I'll get up in a minute, guv'nor. There's no rush, and

 we're in no 'urry. Let me be."

 "Like hell, I will. Think of the food we've enjoyed.

 74

 Alan Dean Poster

 Think of the good times ahead, of the money to be made.

 Think," he said with sudden alacrity, "of die three days

 you spent at the Elegant Bitch."

 The otter opened his eyes wide, smiling weakly. "Aye,

 now that's a memory t' 'old tight to."

 "Useless, useless, useless," boomed the a cappella

 ascomycetes.

 " Tis kind o' pointless, mate," said the otter. For an

 instant Jon-Tom despaired, fearing he'd lost his friend for

 good. Then Mudge sprang to his feet and glared at the

 surrounding growth. "But 'tis also one 'ell of a lot o'

 fun!"

 "Help Roseroar," Jon-Tom ordered him, a great relief

 surging through him. He turned his attention back to their

 subtle, even indifferent, assailants.

 "Look, I can't help what you are and I can't help it if

 you find your existences so depressing."

 "It's not how we find them," said the first mushroom.

 "It's how they are. Don't you think we'd change it if we

 could? But we can't. This is iife: boring, dull, unchanging,

 gray, depressing, decay..."

 "But it doesn't have to be that way. It's you who let it

 remain so." Unslinging the duar, he launched into the

 brightest, cheeriest song he could think of: John Denver's

 "Rocky Mountain High." He finished with Rick Springfield's

 "We All Need the Human Touch." The gray sky didn't

 clear, the mist didn't lift, but he felt a lot better.

 "There! What did you think of that?"

 "Truly depressing," said the toadstool. "Not the songs.

 Your voice."

 Eighty million mushrooms in the Muddletup Moors,

 Jon-Tom mused, and I have to get a music critic. He

 laughed at the absurdity of it, and the laughter made him

 feel better still.

 "Isn't there anything that can lighten your existence,

 make your lives more bearable so you'll leave us alone?"

 "We can't help sharing our feelings," said the second

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 75

 mushroom, "We're not laying all this heavy stuff on you

 to be mean, man. We ain't mean. We're indifferent.

 What's bringing you down is your own knowledge of life's

 futility and your own inability to do anything about it.

 Face it, man: the cosmos is a downer."

 Hopeless. These beings were hopeless, Jon-Tom told

 himself angrily. How could you fight something that didn't

 come at you with shields and swords and spears? What

 could he employ against a broadside of moroseness, a

 barrage of doubt?

 They sounded so sure of themselves, so confident of the

 truth. All right then, he'd show them the truth! If he

 couldn't fight them by differing with them, maybe he

 could win by agreeing with them.

 He took a deep breath. "The trouble with you is that

 you're all manic-depressives."

 A long silence, an atmosphere of consideration, before

 the toadstool inquired, "What are you talking about,

 man?" In the background a couple of rusts whispered to

 one another, "Talk about a weird dude."

 "I haven't had that much psychology, but pre-law re-

 quires some," Jon-Tom explained. "You know, I'll bet not

 one of you has ever considered psychoanalysis for your

 problems."

 "Considered what?" asked the first mushroom.

 Jon-Tom found a suitable rock—a hard, uncomfortable

 one sure to keep him awake. "Pay attention now. Anybody

 here ever heard of Franz Kafka?"

 Several hours passed. Mudge and Roseroar had time to

 reawaken completely, and the mental voices surrounding

 them had become almost alive, though all were still flat

 and tinged with melancholy.

 ". . .And another thing," Jon-Tom was saying as he

 pointed upward, "that sky you're all always referring to.

 Nothing but infantile anal-retentive reinforcement. Well,

 maybe not exactly that," he corrected himself as he

 reminded himself of the rather drastic anatomical differ-

 76

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 77

 ences between himself and his audience, "but it's the

 same idea."

 "We can't do anything about it," said the giant toad-

 stool. "The mist and clouds and coolness are always with

 us. If they weren't, we'd all die. That's depressing. And

 what's even more depressing is that we don't particularly

 like perpetual mist and clouds and fog."

 Jon-Tom struggled desperately for a reply, feeling victo-

 ry slipping from his grasp. "It's not the fact that it's

 cloudy and damp all the time that matters. What matters is

 your outlook on the fact."

 "What do you mean, our outlook?" asked a newcomer,

 an interested slime mold. "Our outlook is glum and

 miserable and pointless."

 "Only if you think of it that way," Jon-Tom informed

 it. "Sure, you can think of yourselves as hopeless. But

 why not view your situation in a positive light? It's just a

 matter of redirecting your outlook on life. Instead of

 regarding your natural state as depressing, think of the

 constancy of climate and terrain as stabilizing, reassuring.

 In mental health, attitude is everything."

 "I'm not sure I follow you, man," said another mushroom.

 "Me neither, mate."

 "Be quiet, Mudge. Listen, existence is what you make

 of it. How you view your surroundings will affect how you

 feel about them."

 "How can we feel anything other than depressed in

 surroundings like these?" wondered the liverworts.

 "Right, then. If you feel more comfortable, go with

 those thoughts. There's nothing wrong with being de-

 pressed and miserable all the time, so long as you feel

 good about it. Have you ever felt bright and cheery?"

 "No, no, no," was the immediate and general consensus.

 "Then how do you know that it's any better than feeling

 depressed and miserable? Maybe one's no better than the

 other.''

 "That's not what the other travelers who come our way

 say," murmured the toadstool, "before they relax, see it

 our way, and settle down for a couple of months of steady

 decomposition."

 Jon-Tom shivered slightly. "Sure, that's what they say,

 but do they look any better off, act any more contented,

 any more in tune with their surroundings than you do?"

 "Naturally they're not as in tune with their surround-

 ings," said the first mushroom, "but these surroundings

 are.. •"

 "...Damp and depressing," Jon-Tom finished for it.

 "That's okay if you accept it. It's all right to feel de-

 pressed all the time if you feel good about it. Why can't it

 be fun to feel depressed? If that's how your environment

 makes you feel, then if you feel that why it means you're

 in tune with your environment, and that should make you

 feel good, and secure, and confident."

 Roseroar's expression reflected her confusion, but she

 said nothing. Mudge just sat quietly, shaking his head.

 But they were thinking, and it kept them from growing

 dangerously listless again.

 "Hey," murmured a purple toadstool, "maybe it is

 okay to feel down and dumpy all the time, if that's what

 works for you."

 "That's it," said Jon-Tom excitedly. "That's the point

 I'm trying to make. Everything, every entity, is different.

 Just because one state of mind works for us ambulatories

 doesn't mean it ought to work the same way for you. At

 least you aren't confused all the time, the way most of my

 kind are."

 "Far fucking out," announced one enlightened truffle

 from beneath a clump of shelf fungi. "Existence is point-

 less. Life is decrepit. Consciousness sucks. And you know

 what? I feel good about it! It all fits."

 "Beautiful," said Jon-Tom. "Go with that." He put his

 hands on his hips and turned a circle. "Anybody else here

 have any trouble dealing with that?"

 78

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 79

 "Well, we do," said a flotilla of mushrooms clinging to

 a scummy pile of dead weeds near a small pool.

 "Tell me about it," said Jon-Tom coaxingly.

 "It started when we were just spores. ..."

 It went on like that all through the night. By morning,

 Jon-Tom was exhausted, but the fungoid forest surround-

 ing him was suffused with the first stages of exhilaration... in

 a maudlin manner, of course. But by and large, the

 group-therapy session had been wildly successful,

 Mudge and Roseroar had recovered completely from

 their insidiously induced lethargies and were eager to set

 out again. Jon-Tom held back. He wanted to make certain

 the session would have at least a semipermanent effect, or

 it wouldn't last them through the Moors to the Glittergeist.

 "You've certainly laid a heavy trip on us, man," said

 the large mushroom that served as speaker for the rest of

 the forest.

 "I'm sure that if you hold to those thoughts, go with the

 flow, make sure you leave yourselves enough mental space,

 you'll find that you'll always feel better about your places

 in existence," Jon-Tom assured it.

 "I don't know," said the big toadstool, and for an

 instant the veil of gloom which had nearly proved lethal

 descended about Jon-Tom all over again. "But just consid-

 ering it makes me more inclined to accept it."

 The cloud of despair dissipated. "That's it." Jon-Tom

 grew aware of just how tired he was. "I'd like to stay and

 chat some more, but we need to be on our way to the

 Glittergeist again. You wouldn't happen to know in which

 direction it lies?"

 Behind him, the shapes of three giant amanitas crooked

 their crowns into the mist. "This way, friend. Pass freely

 from this place.. . though if you'd like to join us in our

 contented dissolution, you're more than welcome to re-

 main and decompose among us."

 "Couldn't think of it," Jon-Tom replied politely, falling

 in behind Mudge and Roseroar as they started southward.

 "See, I'm not into decomposition."

 "Tell us about it," several rusts urged him.

 Worrying that he might be leaving behind a forest full of

 fungoid Frankensteins, Jon-Tom waved it off by saying,

 "Some other time."

 "Sure, that's it, go on and leave," snapped the toad-

 stool. "We're not worth talking to."

 "I've just spent a whole night talking to you. Now

 you're bringing out new feelings of insecurity."

 "No I'm not," said the toadstool, defensive. "It's the

 same thing as depression."

 "Isn't. Why don't you discuss it for a while?" A rising

 mental susurration trailed in his wake as he hastened after

 his companions.

 Word of the therapy session preceded them through the

 Muddletup. The intensity of the depression around them

 varied considerably in strength according to the success of

 Jon-Tom's therapy. They detoured around the worst areas

 of despair, where the mental aura bordered on the coma-

 tose, and as a result they were never again afflicted with

 the urge to lie down and chuck it all.

 Eventually the fungi gave way to blossoming bushes and

 evergreens. The morning they emerged from the woods

 onto a wide, gravelly beach formed of wave-polished

 agates and jade was one of the happiest of Jon-Tom's life.

 Pushing his ram wood staff into the gravel, he hung his

 backpack from the knobbed end, sat down, and inhaled

 deeply of the sea air. The sharp salty smell was heartbreak-

 ingly familiar.

 Mudge let out a whoop; threw off his bow, quiver, pack,

 and clothes; and plunged recklessly into the warm surf.

 Jon-Tom felt the urge to join him, but he was just too

 damn tired. Roseroar sat down next to him. Together they

 watched the gleeful otter porpoise gracefully through the

 waves.

 "I wish I had my board," Jon-Tom murmured.

 "Yo what?" Roseroar looked down at him.

 80

 Alan Dean Foster

 "It's a flat piece of fiberglass and epoxy resin. It

 floats. You stand on it and let the waves carry you toward

 shore."

 Roseroar considered, decided. "That sounds like fun.

 Do y'all think yo could teach me?"

 He smiled apologetically. "Like I said, I don't have my

 board with me."

 "How big a board do yo need?" Rising, she started

 stripping off her armor. "Surely not biggah than this?"

 "Now, wait a minute, Roseroar. I thought cats hated the

 water."

 "Not tigahs, sugah. Come on. Ah'll race yo to the

 beach."

 He hesitated, glanced up and down the gravel as though

 somone might appear on this deserted section of shore.

 What the hell, he told himself.

 The clean tropical salt water washed away the last

 lingering feelings of depression. Though Roseroar's back

 wasn't as even as waxed fiberglass, his toes found plenty

 of purchase in the thick white fur. The tigress's muscles

 shifted according to his instructions as she steered easily

 through the waves with powerful arms and legs. It took no

 time at all to discover that surfing on the back of a tiger

 was far more exhilarating than plying the waves on a hunk

 of inanimate resin.

 As the afternoon drew to a close, they lay on the warm

 beach and let the sun dry them. Clean and refreshed,

 Jon-Tom made a fire and temporary shelter of driftwood

 while Mudge and Roseroar went scavenging. Life in abun-

 dance clung to the shore.

 The two unlikely hunters returned with a load of crusta-

 ceans the size of king crabs. Three of these—killed,

 cracked, and cooked over an open fire—were sufficient to

 fill even the tigress's belly. This time Jon-Tom didn't even

 twitch as he snuggled up against the amazon's flank.

 Mudge curled up on the far side of the fire. For the first

 time since they'd fled Malderpot, they all slept peacefully.

 VI

 As usual, Mudge woke first. He sat up, stretched, and

 yawned, his whiskers quivering with the effort. The sun

 was just up and the last smoke fleeing the firepit. Some-

 thing, some slight noise, had disturbed the best night's rest

 he'd had in weeks.

 He heard it again, no mistake. Curious, he dressed

 quickly and tiptoed past his still somnolent companions.

 As he made his way over a sandy hillock flecked with

 beach grass, he slowed. A cautious glance over the crest

 revealed the source of the disturbance.

 They were not alone on the beach. A small single-

 masted sailing craft was grounded on the gravel. Four

 large, ugly-looking specimens of varying species clustered

 around a single, much smaller individual. Two of them

 were arguing over a piece of clothing. Mudge shrugged

 mentally and prepared to retreat. None of his business.

 What had awakened him was the piteous cry for help of

 the person trapped among the ruffians. It was an elderly

 voice but a strong one.

 There was a touch on his shoulder. Inhaling sharply, he

 81

 82

 Alan Dean Foster

 rolled and reached for his short sword, then relaxed. It was

 Jon-Tom, with Roseroar close behind.

 "What's happening?"

 "Nothin', mate. None o' our business, wot? Let's leave

 it be. I'm ready for breakfast."

 "Is that all you ever think of? Food, money, and sex?"

 "You do me a wrong, guv'nor. Sometimes 'tis sex,

 food, and money. Then again at times 'tis—"

 "Never mind," said the exasperated Jon-Tom.

 "Foah against one," muttered Roseroar angrily, "and

 the one looks none too strong. Not very gallant."

 "We've got to do something," Jon-Tom murmured.

 "Mudge, you sneak around behind the trees off to the left

 and cover them from there. I'll make a frontal assault from

 here. Roseroar, you..." But the tigress was already over

 the hill and charging down the slope on the other side.

 So much for careful tactics and strategy, Jon-Tom thought.

 "Come on, Mudge!"

 "Now wait a minim, mate." The otter watched Jon-

 Tom follow in Roseroar's wake, waving his staff and

 yelling at the top of his lungs. "Bloody fools!" He

 notched an arrow into his bow and followed.

 But there was to be no fight. The assailants turned to see

 all seven feet and five hundred pounds of white tigress bear-

 ing down on them, waving twin swords and bellowing fit

 to shake the leaves off the nearby trees. There was a

 concerted rush for the boat.

 The four paddled like fiends and were out of sword

 range before she entered the water in angry pursuit, throw-

 ing insults and challenges after them. Mudge might have

 reached the boat with an arrow or two, but saw no point in

 meaningless killing or antagonizing strangers. As far as he

 was concerned, the best battle was the one that never took

 place.

 Meantime Jon-Tom was bending solicitously over the

 exhausted subject of their rescue. He put an arm beneath

 the slim furry neck and helped it sit up. It was a ferret, and

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 83

 an old one, distant kin to Mudge's line but thinner still.

 Much of the normally brown fur was tipped with silver. So

 was the black mask that ran across the face.

 The stranger was clad in beige shorts and vest and wore

 sandals instead of boots. A plain, floppy hat lay trampled

 in the sand nearby, next to a small leather sack. Several

 other similar sacks lay scattered along the beach. All

 looked empty.

 Gradually the elderly ferret's breathing slowed. He opened

 his eyes, saw Jon-Tom, then looked around wildly.

 "Easy, easy, friend. They're gone. We saw to that."

 The ferret gave him a disbelieving look, then turned his

 gaze toward the beach. His eyes settled on the scattered

 leather sacks.

 "My stock, my goods!" He broke away from Jon-Tom,

 who watched while the oldster went through each sack,

 one at a time. Finally he sat down on the sand, one sack

 draped across his lap. He sighed listlessly, threw it aside.

 "Gone." He shook his head sadly. "AH gone."

 "Wot's all gone, senior?" Mudge prodded one of the

 sacks with a boot.

 The ferret didn't look up at him. "My stock, my poor

 stock. I am... I was, a humble trader of trinkets, plying

 my trade along the shores east of here. I was set upon by

 those worthless brigands"—he nodded seaward, to where

 the retreating boat had raised sail and was disappearing

 toward the horizon—"who stole everything I have man-

 aged to accumulate in a short, unworthy life. They kept

 me and forced me to do their menial work, to cook and

 clean and wash for them while they preyed upon other

 unsuspecting travelers.

 "They said they would let me go unharmed. Finally

 they tired of me, but instead of returning me to a place of

 civilization they brought me here to this empty, uninhabited

 shore, intending to maroon me in an unknown land where

 I might starve. They stole what little I had in this world,

 taunted me by leaving my stock bags, and would have

 84

 Alan Dean Foster

 stolen my life as well at the last moment had you not come

 along, for I was refusing to be abandoned."

 "Don't give us too much credit," Jon-Tom advised

 him. "Our being in a position to rescue you was an

 accident."

 "You can say that again, mate," growled the disgusted

 Mudge as he slung his bow back over his shoulder.

 Jon-Tom ignored the otter. "We're glad we could help. I

 don't like seeing anyone taken advantage of, especially

 senior citizens."

 "What?"

 "Older people."

 "Ah. But how can I thank you, sir? How can I show my

 gratitude? I am destitute."

 "Forget it." The ferret's effusiveness was making Jon-

 Tom uncomfortable. "We're glad we could help."

 The ferret rose, wincing and putting one hand against

 his back. "I am called Jalwar. To whom do I owe my

 salvation?"

 "I'm Jon-Tom. I'm a spellsinger. Of sorts."

 The ferret nodded gravely. "I knew at once you were

 mighty ones."

 Jon-Tom indicated the disgruntled Mudge. "That ball of

 fuzzy discontent is my friend Mudge." The otter grunted

 once. "And this tower of cautionless strength is Roseroar."

 "I am honored to be in your presence," said the ferret

 humbly, proceeding to prostrate himself on the beach and

 grasping Jon-Tom's boots. "I have nothing left. My stock

 is gone, my money, everything save the clothes I wear. I

 owe you my life. Take me into your service and let me

 serve you."

 "Now, wait a minute." Jon-Tom moved his boots out of

 the ferret's paws. "I don't believe in slavery."

 " 'Ere now, mate, let's not be 'asty." Mudge was quick

 to intervene. "Consider the poor suck—uh, this poor

 unfortunate chap. 'E's got nothin', 'e 'asn't. 'E'll need

 protection, or the next bunch 'e runs into will kill Mm for

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 85

 sure, just for 'is clothes." He eyed the ferret hopefully.

 "Wot about it, guv? Can you cook?"

 "I have some small talent in the kitchen, good sir."

 "Mudge..." Jon-Tom said warningly. The otter ig-

 nored him.

 "You said you washed clothes."

 "That I did, good sir. I have the ability to make even

 ancient attire smell sweet as clover again, with the slightest

 of cleansing materials. I am also handy at repairing gar-

 ments. Despite my age, I am not a weakling. I can more

 than carry my weight."

 Mudge strutted about importantly. " 'Ere then, friend, I

 think we should take pity on you and admit you to our

 company, wot"?"

 "Mudge, you know how I feel about servants."

 "It wouldn't be like that at all, Jon-Tom. 'E does need

 our protection, and 'e'll never get out o' this place without

 our 'elp, and 'e's more than willin' to contribute 'is

 share."

 The ferret nodded enthusiastically. "Please accept my

 service, good sir... and madame. Allow me to accompany

 you. Perhaps being proximate to such mighty ones as your-

 selves will improve my own ill fortune."

 "I'll bet you were a good trader," Jon-Tom commented.

 "Okay, you can come with us, but as an equal. Not as a

 servant or slave. We'll pay you a decent wage." He

 remembered the purse filled with gold, stolen by Zancresta's

 thugs. "As soon as we can afford it, that is."

 "Food and shelter and protection is all I ask, great sir."

 "And stop calling me sir," said Jon-Tom. "I've intro-

 duced you to everyone by name."

 "As you wish, Jon-Tom." The ferret turned to look

 down the beach. "What do we now? I presume you are

 bound to the east, for if one walks long enough one will

 come 'round again to the lands bordering the Bellwoods

 and the River Tailaroam, where civilization is to be

 encountered."

 "Don't I wish," Mudge grumbled.

 86

 Alan Dean Poster

 Jon-Tom shook his head. "We don't go to the east,

 Jalwar. We go southwest, to Snarken."

 ' 'Across the Glittergeist? Sir... Jon-Tom... I have lived

 long and seen much. The voyage to Snarken is long and

 fraught with danger and difficulty. Better to begin the long

 trek to the mouth of the Tailaroam. Besides, how could

 one take ship from this deserted land? And north of here

 lie the Muddletup Moors, where none may penetrate."

 "We penetrated," said Mudge importantly.

 "Did you? If you say it so, I doubt it not. Still, this far

 north places us well away from the east-west trade routes.

 We will encounter no vessels here."

 "You won't get any arguments from me on that score,

 mate," said Mudge. "Best to do as you say, go back to the

 Bellwoods and the Tailaroam and start over. Likely

 Chenelska's give up on us by now."

 "No," said Jon-Tom firmly. "I am not going back and I

 am not starting over. We've come too far."

 Mudge squinted up at him. "Well now, you've just

 'eard this wise old chap. 'Ow do you propose to get us

 across that?" He pointed to the broad, sailless expanse of

 the Glittergeist. "I like to swim, lad, but I prefer swimmin'

 across water I can cross."

 "What can yo do, Jon-Tom?" Roseroar asked him.

 He stood fuming silently for a moment before blurting

 out, "I can damn well conjure us up a boat, that's what!"

 "Uh-oh." Mudge retreated toward the trees, searching

 for a boulder of appropriate size to conceal himself behind.

 " 'Is nibs is pissed off and 'e's goin' to try spellsingin'

 again."

 Roseroar eyed the otter curiously. "Isn't that his busi-

 ness, fuzzball?"

 "That may be wot some calls it. Me, I'd as soon brush

 a crocodile's teeth than 'elp 'im with 'is work."

 "Ah don't understand. Is he a spellsinger or not?"

 " 'E is," Mudge admitted. "Of that there's no longer

 any doubt. 'Tis just that 'e 'as this disconcertin' tendency

 THE DAT OF THE DISSONANCE

 87

 to misfire from time to time, and when it 'appens, I don't

 want to be in the line o' fire."

 "Go on, Roseroar," Jon-Tom told her. "Get back there

 and hide behind a rock with him." He was mad at the

 otter. Hadn't he, Jon-Tom, helped to bring about the great

 victory at the Jo-Troom Gate? Purely by accident of

 course, but still...

 "No sun," said the tigress, offended. "If n y'all don't

 mind, I'll stand right heah."

 "Good for you." Jon-Tom unlimbered his duar, turned

 away to confront the open sea, where soon he hoped to see

 a proper ship riding empty at anchor. Turning also kept

 Roseroar from seeing how nervous he was.

 Once before on a far-distant river he'd tried to bring

 forth a boat to carry himself and his companions. Instead,

 he'd ended up with Falameezar, the Marxist dragon. That

 misplaced conjuration had produced unexpectedly benign

 results, but there was no guarantee he'd be as fortunate if he

 fouled up a second time.

 It was too late to back down now. He'd already made his

 boast. He felt Roseroar's gaze on the back of his neck. If

 he backed down now he'd prove himself an incompetent to

 Mudge and a coward to the tigress. He had to try.

 He considered several songs and discarded them all as

 unsuitable. He was beginning to grow frantic when a song

 so obvious, so simple, offered what seemed like an obvi-

 ous way out,

 His fingers tested the duar's strings and he began to

 sing.

 Flecks of light sprang to instant life around him. It was

 as though the sand underfoot had come to glowing life.

 The lights were Gneechees, those minute ultrafast specks

 of existence that were drawn irresistibly to magic in

 motion. They coalesced into a bright, dancing cloud around

 him, and as usual, when he tried to look straight at any of

 them, they vanished. Gneechees were those suggestions of

 88

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAT OF THE DISSONANCE

 89

 something everyone sees out of the corner of an eye but

 aren't there when you turn to look at them.

 But he sensed their presence. So did Roseroar and the

 others. It was a good sign, an indication that the spellsinging

 was working. Certainly the tune he played seemed harm-

 less enough, even to the wary Mudge, whose opinion of

 Jon-Tom's musical tastes differed little from that of the

 average PTA president.

 The otter had to admit that for a change the otherworldly

 ditty Jon-Tom was reciting was easy on the ears, even if

 the majority of the words, as was true of all of Jon-Tom's

 songs, were quite incomprehensible.

 Jon-Tom had chosen the song as much out of despera-

 tion as need. The song was "Sloop John 5.," by the

 Beach Boys. Given their present needs, it was a logical

 enough choice.

 Nothing happened right away. But before long, Jalwar

 was making protective signs over his face and chest while

 cowering close to Mudge for protection, while the otter

 waited nervously for the unexpected to manifest itself.

 Despite her own awe at what was taking place on the

 beach, Roseroar stood her ground.

 Mudge was worrying needlessly. For once, for the very

 first time, it looked like Jon-Tom's efforts were to be

 rewarded with success. For once it appeared that his

 spellsong was going to produce only what he wanted. The

 otter moved hesitantly out from behind the shelter of the

 boulder, while simultaneously holding himself ready to

 rush for the trees at the first hint of trouble.

 "Bugger me for a blue-eyed bandicoot," he muttered

 excitedly. "The lad's gone an' done it!"

 Rocking gently in the waves just beyond the breaking

 surf was a single-masted sloop. The stern faced shoreward

 and on the name-plate everyone could clearly make out the

 words JOHN B.

 Jon-Tom let the last words of the song trail away. With it

 went the Gneechees and the cloud of blue fog from which

 the boat had emerged. It bobbed gently at anchor, awaiting

 mem.

 Roseroar put a proud paw on Jon-Tom's shoulder. "Sugah,

 bless man soul if it isn't a spellsingah yo are. That's a

 fine-looking ship, for all that her lines are strange to me,

 and ah've sailed many a craft."

 Jon-Tom continued to pluck fitfully at the duar as if

 fearful that the sloop, solid as she looked, might disappear

 at any moment in a rush of fog.

 "Glad you think so. Me, I've never been on anything

 il     bigger than a surfboard in my life."

 13   "Not to worry. Ah don't recognize the mannah of ship,

 but if she sails, ah can handle her."

 "So can I." Jalwar appeared behind them, "hi my

 youth I spent much time sailing many kinds of ships."

 "See?" said Mudge, joining them on the beach. "The

 old fur's provin' 'imself valuable already."

 "Okay." Jon-Tom nodded reluctantly. "Let's see what

 :^     she's like on board."

 13   Mudge led them out to the boat, as at home in the water

 ]1     as he was on land. The others followed. By the time

 •\     Jon-Tom reached the bottom of the boarding ladder, the

 -'?.     otter had completed a preliminary inspection.

 ^    "She's fully stocked, she is, though the packin's bloody

 jl     strange."

 iJ   "Let me have a look." Jon-Tom went first to the galley.

 |         Cans and packages bore familiar labels like Hormel,

 ~i     Armor, Oscar Mayer, and Hebrew National. There was

 ,|     more than enough food for an extensive journey, and they

 !     could fish on the way. The tank for the propane stove read

 full. Jon-Tom tried a burner, was rewarded with a blast of

 blue flame that caused Roseroar to pull back.

 "Ah don't see no source of fire."

 "The ship arrives already fully spelled for traveling,"

 Jalwar murmured appreciatively. "Impressive."

 "hi the song she's supposed to be on a long voyage,"

 Jon-Tom explained.

 90

 Alan Dean Foster

 There was a diesel engine meant to supplement the sails.

 Jon-Tom didn't try it. Let it wait until they were becalmed.

 Then he could dazzle them with new magic.

 "Roseroar, since you're the most experienced sailor

 among us, why don't you be captain?"

 "As you wish, Jon-Tom." She squeezed through the

 hatchway back onto the deck and began familiarizing

 herself with the unusual but not unfathomable rigging. As

 with any modern sailing ship, the sloop would almost run

 the sails up and down the masts all by itself. It didn't take

 the tigress long to figure it out.

 An electric winch made short work of the anchor.

 Roseroar spun the wheel, the sloop hove around with a

 warm breeze filling its sails, and they headed out to sea.

 Within an hour they had left the gravel beach and the

 Muddletup Moors with its confused fungoid inhabitants far

 behind.

 "Which way to Snarken?" she asked as she worked the

 wheel and a hand winch simultaneously. The mainsail

 billowed in the freshening wind.

 "I don't know. You're the sailor."

 "Sailor ah confess to, but ah'm no navigator, man."

 "Southwest," Mudge told her. "For now that's good

 enough."

 Roseroar adjusted their heading, brought it in line with

 the directions supplied by the compass. "Southwest it is."

 The sloop changed directions smoothly, responding instantly

 to the tigress's light touch on the wheel.

 Feeling reasonably confident that at last all was right

 with the world, Jon-Tom reprised the song and for good

 measure added a chorus of the Beach Boys' "Sail On, Sail

 On, Sailor." The sun was warm, the wind steady, and

 Snarken seemed just over the near horizon.

 Putting up the duar, he escorted Jalwar down to the

 galley, there to explain the intricacies of the propane stove

 and such otherworldly esoterica as Saran Wrap and can

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 91

 openers to their designated chef. That and the rest of a fine

 day well done, he allowed himself to be first to bed.

 To be awakened by rough hands shaking him violently.

 "Get up, get up, spellsinger!"

 Feeling very strange, Jon-Tom rolled over, to find him-

 self staring into the worried face of the ferret.

 "What... whash wrong?" He was startled by the sound

 of his own voice, unnaturally thick and slurred. And the

 boat seemed to be rolling in circles.

 "We are in bad trouble, spellsinger. Bad trouble."

 Jalwar disappeared.

 Jon-Tom sat up. It took three tries. Then he tried to get

 out of the bunk and discovered he couldn't tell the floor

 from the ceiling. The floor found him.

 "Wot was that?" said a distant voice.

 He struggled to get up. "I don't..." He reached for the

 railing of the lower bunk and tried to pull himself upright.

 "Wheresh the... ?" Somehow he managed to drag him-

 self to a standing position. He stood there on shaky knees

 that felt determined to go their own way, exclusive of any

 contrariwise instructions from his brain.

 "Whash wrong with me?" he moaned.

 Two faces appeared in the doorway, one above the other.

 Both were blurred.

 "Shee-it," said Roseroar. "He's drunk! Ah didn't see

 him get into any liquor."

 "Nor did I," said Mudge, trying to push past her.

 "Give me room, you bloody great amazon!" He put his

 hands on Jon-Tom's shoulders and gripped hard. Jon-Tom

 staggered backward.

 "Blister me for a brown vole if you're not. Where'd you

 find the hootch, guv'nor?"

 "What hoosh?" Jon-Tom replied thickly. "I didn't..."

 The floor almost went out from under him. "Say, whoosh

 driving thish bush?"

 A disgusted Mudge stepped back. "Can't abide anyone

 who can't 'old 'is booze."

 92

 Alan Dean Foster

 "Leave him fo now," said Roseroar. "We'll have to

 handle this ourselves." They turned to leave.

 "Hey, wait!" Jon-Tom yelled. He took a step forward,

 and the boat, sly and tricky craft that it was, deliberately

 yanked the floor out from under him. He slammed into the

 door, hung on for dear life.

 Mudge was right, he realized through the glassy haze

 that had formed over his eyeballs. I am drunk. Try as he

 might, he couldn't remember imbibing anything stronger

 than orange juice at supper. After reprising a couple of

 choruses of "Sloop John #." to make sure the boat didn't

 dematerialize out from beneath them in the middle of the

 night, he'd gone to bed. Jalwar was awake and alert.

 Everyone was except him.

 Suddenly he found himself in desperate need of a

 porthole, barely located one in time to stick his face out

 and throw his guts all over the equally upset ocean. When

 he Finally finished puking he was soaking wet from the

 spray. He felt a little less queasy but not any soberer.

 Somehow he managed to slam the porthole shut and

 refasten it. He staggered toward the gangway, pulled him-

 self toward the deck.

 Wind hit him hard the instant he stepped out on the teak

 planking, and rain filled his vision. Roseroar was holding

 the wheel steady with grim determination, but Mudge and

 Jalwar were having a terrible time trying to wrestle the

 mainsail down.

 "Hurry it up!" the tigress roared, her voice barely

 audible above the storm, "or we'll lose it fo sure!"

 "I don't care if we do," Jon-Tom moaned, putting both

 hands to the sides of his head, "just let's not shout about

 it, shall we?"

 1 'Tell it to the sky, spellsinger,'' pleaded Jalwar.

 "Yeah, use your magic, mate," added Mudge. "Turn

 this bloomin' weather back to normal!" Jon-Tom noticed

 that both of them were soaked. "Get rid of this bloody

 bedamned storm!"

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 93

 "Anything, anything," he told them, "if you'll just stop

 shouting." He staggered and nearly went careening over-

 board, just managed to save himself by grabbing on to a

 stay. "I don't unnershtand. It wash so calm when I went to

 bed."

 "Well 'tis not calm now, mate," snapped Mudge, wres-

 tling with the heavy, wet sail.

 "Ah've nevah seen a storm like this come up so quick-

 ly." Roseroar continued fighting with the wheel.

 "The words," Jalwar muttered. "The words of the

 spellsinging! Don't you remember?" He looked straight at

 Jon-Tom. "Don't you remember the words?"

 "But ish just the chorush," Jon-Tom groaned. "Jusht

 the chorush." He mumbled them again. " 'Thish ish the

 worsht trip, I've ever been on.' I didn't mean that part of

 the shong."

 The ferret was nodding. "So you sang. The spirits

 cannot distinguish between what you sing and mean and

 what you sing and do not mean. They have a way of taking

 everything literally."

 "But ish not the worsht trip I've ever been on!"

 Jon-Tom stood away from the rail on rubbery legs and

 screamed his protest at the skies that threatened to swamp

 them. "Ish not\"

 The skies paid him no heed.

 For hours they battled the winds. Twice they were in

 danger of being swamped. They were saved only by the

 unmagical efforts of the sloop's pump. Somehow Jon-Tom

 got it started, though the effort made him upchuck all over

 the engine room. That wouldn't happen again, though. His

 stomach was empty.

 If only it would feel empty.

 Soon after they pumped out the second holdful of water,

 the storm began to abate. An hour later the mountainous

 seas started to subside. And still there was no real relief,

 because thunder and lightning gave way to a thick,

 impenetrable fog.

 94

 Alan Dean Poster

 Mudge was leaning on the rail, grumbling. "We'd

 better not be near any land, mates." He glanced upward.

 A faint glow suffused the upper reaches of the fog bank,

 which had not thinned in the slightest. "I know you're up

 there, you great big ugly yellow bastard! Why don't you

 bum this driftin' piss off so we can see to be on our way!"

 "The words of the song," Ja!war murmured. Mudge

 snarled at him.

 "And you pack in it, guv'nor, or I'll do it for you."

 It was morning. Somewhere the sun was up there,

 probably laughing at them. The compass still showed the

 way, but the wind had vanished with the storm, and none

 of Jon-Tom's feeble coaxing could induce the shiny new

 diesel engine to perform.

 The restored sail hung limp against the mast. The sloop

 was floating through glassy, smooth, shallow water. A

 sandy bottom occasionally rose dangerously close to the

 keel, only to fall away again into pale blue depths each

 time it looked like they were about to ground. Roseroar

 steered as best she could, and with an otter and a ferret

 aboard there was at least no shortage of sharp eyesight.

 But as the day wore on and the fog clung tenaciously to

 them, it began to look as if Jon-Tom's song was to prove

 their simultaneous salvation and doom. The wind remained

 conspicuous by its absence. Sooner or later the shallows

 would close in around them and they would find them-

 selves marooned forever in the midst of a strange sea.

 The tension was taking its toll on everyone, even Roseroar.

 Their spellsinger, who had conjured up this wonderful

 craft, was of no use to anyone, least of all himself.

 Thankfully he no longer threw up. Yet despite his unarguable

 abstinence from any kind of drink, he remained falling-

 down drunk. Smashed. Potted.

 If anything, his condition had worsened. He strolled

 about the deck muttering songs so incomprehensible and

 slurred none of his companions could decipher them.

 Just as a precaution, Mudge had sequestered Jon-Tom's

 THE DAY OF THK DISSONANCE

 95

 duar in a safe place. He'd gotten them into this situation

 while sober. It was terrifying to contemplate what might

 happen if he started spellsinging while drunk.

 "We have one chance," Jalwar finally declared.

 "Wot's that, guv'nor?" Mudge sat on the port side of

 the bow, keeping his eyes on the threatening shallows.

 "To turn around. We aren't that far yet from the beach

 where this unfortunate turn of events began. We can return

 there, land, or use this craft, provided the wind will return,

 to take us back to the mouth of the Tailaroam and

 civilization."

 "I'm tempted, guv, but 'e'll never stand for it." He

 nodded back to where Jon-Tom lay sprawled on his back

 on the deck, alternately laughing and hiccuping at the fog.

 "How can he object to stop us?" wondered Jalwar. "He

 has the gift, but no control over it."

 "That may be, guv. I'm sure as 'ell no expert on

 spellsingin', but this I do know. 'E's me friend, and I

 promised 'im that I'd see 'im through this journey to its

 end, no matter wot 'appens."

 Besides which, the otter reminded himself, if they

 returned without the medicine, there would be no rich

 reward from a grateful Clothahump. Mudge had endured

 too much already to throw that promise away now.

 "But what else can we do?" Jalwar moaned. "None of

 us is a wizard or sorcerer. We cannot cure his odd

 condition, because it is the result of his own spellsinging."

 "Maybe it'll cure itself." Mudge tried to sound optimis-

 tic. He watched sadly as Jon-Tom rolled over on the center

 cabin and tried to puke again. "I feel sorry for 'im. 'Tis

 clear 'e ain't used to liquorish effects." As if to reinforce

 the otter's observation, Jon-Tom rolled over again and fell

 off the cabin, nearly knocking himself out on the deck.

 Lifting himself to a sitting position, he burst out laughing.

 He was the only one on the boat who found the situation

 amusing.

 Mudge shook his head. "Bleedin' pitiful."

 "Yes, it is sad," Jalwar agreed.

 96

 Alan Dean Foster

 "Cor, but not the way you think it is, mate. 'Ere 'e is,

 sufferin' from one o' the finest binges I've ever seen

 anybody on, and 'e ain't even had the pleasure o' drinkin'

 the booze. Truly pitiful." A glance downward showed

 sand looming near.

 "Couple o' degrees to starboard, luv!" he called stemward.

 "Ah heah y'all." Roseroar adjusted the boat's heading.

 The sandy bottom fell away once again.

 "It'll wear off," the otter mumbled. "It 'as to. Ain't

 nobody can stay drunk this long no matter 'ow strong a

 spell's been laid on 'is belly. I wonder when 'e did it?"

 "The same tune he did everything else," Jalwar explained.

 "Don't you remember the song?"

 "You mean that part about it bein' 'the worst trip I've

 ever been on'?"

 "Not just that. Remember that he made the tigress

 captain because she was the best sailor among us? That

 would leave him as next in command, would it not?"

 "Beats me, mate. I'm not much on ships and their

 lore."

 "He reduced himself to first mate," Jalwar said posi-

 tively. "That was in the song, too. A line that went

 something like "The first mate, he got drunk.' "

 "Aye, now I recall." The otter nodded toward the

 helpless spellsinger, who remained enraptured by a hyste-

 ria perceptible only to himself. "So 'e spellsung 'imself

 into this condition without even bein' aware o1 doin' it."

 "I fear that is the case."

 "Downright pitiful. Why couldn't 'e 'ave made me first

 mate? I'd 'andle a long drunk like this ten times better than

 'e would. 'E's got to come out of it sometime."

 "I hope so," said Jalwar. He glanced at the sky.

 "Perhaps we will lose this infernal fog, anyway. Then we

 might pick up a wind enabling us to turn back."

 "Now, I told you, guv," Mudge began, only to be

 interrupted by a shout.

 What stunned him to silence, however, was not the fact

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 97

 of the shout but its origin. It came from the water off to

 starboard.

 It was repeated. "Ahoy, there! You on the sloop! What's

 happenin'!"

 "What's happenin'?" Roseroar frowned, tried to see

 into the fog. "Jon-Tom, wake up!" The sails continued to

 luff against the mainmast.

 "Huh? Wash?" Jon-Tom laughed one more time, then

 struggled to stand up.

 "Ahoy, aboard the sloop!" A new voice this time,

 female.

 "Wash... whosh that?" He stumbled around the center

 cabin and tried to squint into the fog. Neither his eyesight

 nor his brain was functioning at optimum efficiency at the

 moment.

 A second boat materialized out of the mist. It was a low-

 slung outboard with a pearlescent fiberglass body. Three ...

 no, four people lounged in the vinyl seats. Two couples in

 their twenties, all human, all normal size.

 "What's happenin', John B.I" asked the young man

 standing behind the wheel. He didn't look too steady on

 his feet himself. A cooler sat between the front seats, full

 of ice and aluminum cans. The cans had names like Coors

 and Lone Star on them.

 Jon-Tom swayed. He was hallucinating, the next logical

 step in his mental disintegration. He leaned over the rail

 and tried to focus his remaining consciousness on the funny

 cigarette the couple in the front of the boat were passing

 back and forth.The other pair were exchanging hits on a

 glass pipe.

 The big outboard was idling noisily. One girl leaned

 over the side to clean her Foster Grants in the ocean. Next

 to the beer cooler was a picnic basket. A big open bag of

 pretzels sat on top. The twisted, skinny kind that tasted

 like pure fried salt. Next to the bag was a two-pound tin of

 Planter's Redskin Peanuts, and several brightly colored

 tropical fruits.

 98

 Alan Dean Poster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 99

 He tried to will himself sober. If anything could have

 cleared his mind, it should have been the sight of the boat

 and its occupants. But the uncontrollable power of his own

 spellsinging held true. Despite everything he tried, the

 self-declared first mate still stayed drunk. He swallowed

 the words on his tongue and tried a second time.

 "Who... who are you?"

 "I'm Charlie MacReady," said the boat's driver cheeri-

 ly, through a cannabis-induced fog of his own. He smiled

 broadly, leaned down to speak to his girlfriend. "Dig that

 getup that guy's got on. Must've been a helluva party!"

 Jon-Tom briefly considered his iridescent lizard-skin

 cape, his indigo shut, and the rest of his attire. Subdued

 clothing... for Clothahump's world.

 The girl in the front was having a tough time with her

 sunshades. Maybe she didn't realize that the glasses were

 clean and that it was her eyes that needed washing out.

 She leaned over again and nearly tumbled into the water.

 Her boyfriend grabbed the strap of her bikini top and

 pulled hard enough to hold her in the boat. Unfortunately,

 it was also hard enough to compress certain sensitive parts

 of her anatomy. She whirled to swing at him, missed badly

 thanks to the effects of what the foursome had been

 smoking all morning. For some unknown reason this

 started her giggling uncontrollably.

 Jon-Tom wasn't laughing anymore. He was battling his

 own sozzled thoughts and magically contaminated blood-

 stream.

 "Who are you people?"

 "I told you." The boat's driver spoke with pot-induced

 ponderousness. "MacReady's the name. Charles MacReady.

 I am a stockbroker from Manhattan. Merrill Lynching.

 You know, the bull?" He rested one hand on the shoulder

 of the suddenly contemplative woman seated next to him.

 She appeared fascinated by the sheen of her nail polish.

 "This is Buffy." He nodded toward the front of the

 boat. "The two kids up front are Steve and Mary-Ann.

 Steve works in my office. Don't you, Steve?" Steve didn't

 reply. He and Mary-Ann were giggling in tandem now.

 The driver turned back to Jon-Tom. "Who are you?"

 "One hell of a good question," Jon-Tom replied thickly.

 He glanced down at his outrageous costume. Is this what

 happens when you get the DTs? he wondered. Somehow

 he'd always imagined having the DTs would involve

 stronger hallucinations than a quartet of happily stoned

 vacationers loaded down with pot and pretzels.

 "My name... my name..." For one terrible instant

 there was a soft, puffy blank in his mind where his name

 belonged. The kind of disorientation one encounters in a

 cheap house of mirrors at the state fair, where you have to

 feel your way through to the exit by putting your hands out

 in front of you and pushing through the nothingness of

 your own reflections.

 Meriweather, he told himself. Jonathan Thomas Meri-

 weather. I am a graduate law student from UCLA. The

 University of California at Los Angeles. He repeated this

 information slowly to the driver of the boat.

 "Nice to meet you," said MacReady.

 "But you, you, you, where are you? Where are you

 from?" Jon-Tom was aware he was half crying, but he

 couldn't stop himself. His desperation overwhelmed any

 suggestion of self-control.

 The song, the song, that seemingly innocuous song so

 full of unforeseen consequences. First the boat, then the

 storm and his drunkenness, and now ... where in the song

 had the sloop John B. been going?

 The stockbroker from Manhattan pointed to his right.

 "Just out for the afternoon from the Nassau Club Med.

 You know, man. The Bahamas? You lost out of Miami or

 what?" He jiggled the chain of polyethelene beads that

 hung from his neck.

 "Wanna come back in with us?"

 "It can't be," Jon-Tom whispered dazedly. "It can't be

 this easy." The song he'd repeated over and over, what

 1OO

 Alan Dean Foster

 was the phrasing? ' 'Around Nassau Town we did roam... I

 wanna go home, I wanna go home... this is the worst

 trip, I've ever been on."

 "7 wanna go home," Jon-Tom sang in his mind. "Around

 Nassau Town. Yes... yes, we'll follow you back! We'll

 follow you back." He clung to the rail for dear life, his

 eyes locked on the big Evenrude rumbling at the stern of

 the ski boat.

 "You coming over here or you just going to follow us

 in?"

 "We'll follow you," Jon-Tom mumbled. "We'll fol-

 low." He turned to the helm. "Roseroar, put on all

 sail... no, wait." It was still windless. "The engine. I'll

 get that engine started and we'll follow them in!" He took

 a wild step toward the hatchway, felt himself going back-

 ward over the rail, tumbling toward a waiting pane of glass

 that wasn't there.

 An immense paw had hold of him, was pulling him

 back on deck. "Watch yourself, sugah," Roseroar told

 him quietly. She'd cleared the distance to him from her

 position at the wheel in one leap.

 Now she stared across the water. "Who are these

 strange folk? Ah declare, ah can't make top no bottom of

 their words."

 "Tell them," Jon-Tom moaned weakly toward the ski

 boat, "tell them who you are, tell them where we are!"

 But Charles MacReady, stockbroker on vacation, seven

 days, six nights, $950 all-inclusive from LaGuardia, not

 counting the fact that he expected to get laid tonight, did

 not reply. He was staring at the boat where seven feet of

 white tigress dressed in leather and brass armor stood on

 hind legs staring back at him.

 Giggling rose from the floorboards in the front of

 the boat. MacReady's girlfriend had progressed from an

 intimate examination of her nails to her toes, which she

 was regarding now with a Buddha-like glassy stare.

 MacReady dazedly flipped the butt of the sansemilla

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 101

 stick over the side as though it had been laced with

 cyanide and said clearly, "Holy shit." Then he sat down

 hard in the driver's seat and fired up the big outboard.

 "No wait," Jon-Tom screamed, "wait!" He tried to

 dive over the side, and it took all of Roseroar's consider-

 able strength to prevent him from drowning himself. In his

 current state he couldn't float, much less swim.

 "Easy there, Jon-Tom. What's gotten into y'all?"

 He wrenched away from her, tore down the hatchway

 into the hold, and fumbled with the diesel. It took three

 tries but this time it started up. Then he was running,

 crawling back up the stairs and flying for the steering

 wheel console. The compass rocked. He stabbed a button.

 A gargling came from underneath the ship, hesitated, died.

 He jabbed the button again. This time the sound was a

 whir, whir.

 Mudge raced back from the bow. "Wot the bloody 'ell

 is goin' on back 'ere?"

 Roseroar stood aside, guarding the railing, and eyed the

 otter uncertainly. "There ah people in a boat. We must be

 neah some land."

 "I 'card. That's bloody marvelous. They goin' to lead

 us in?"

 "I think they're frightened of something," Roseroar

 told him.

 Jon-Tom was crying, crying and jabbing away at the

 starter. "You don't understand, you don't understand!"

 The sound of the ski boat's outboard was fading with

 distance. Still the engine refused to turn over.

 Then there was a deep growl. Roseroar jumped and

 grabbed the rail as the boat began to move.

 "Where are they?" Jon-Tom cried, trying to steer and

 search the fog at the same time. "Which way did they

 go?"

 "I do not know, Jon-Tom," said Jalwar helplessly. "I

 did not see." He pointed uncertainly into the fog off the

 bow. "That way, I think."

 102

 Alan Dean Foster

 Jon-Tom increased their speed and the diesel responded

 efficiently. They couldn't be far from the town of Nassau.

 The foursome from New York had been out for the

 afternoon only. Hadn't the stockbroker said so? Besides,

 they wore only swim suits and carried little in the way of

 supplies. Surely he was near enough to hit the island! And

 from Nassau it would be a short flight to the Florida coast.

 To home, to Miami, Disneyworld, hotels, and soap operas

 on TV in the afternoon. Images shoved purposefully into

 the back of his mind sprang back to the fore: home.

 He was home.

 So crazed was he with hope and joy that he didn't think

 what the reaction would be to his arriving in Nassau with

 the likes of Mudge and Jalwar and Roseroar in tow. But

 none of that mattered. None.

 Unintentionally and quite without intending to do so,

 he'd spellsung himself home.

 VII

 He clung desperately to that thought as day gave way to

 night. Still no sign of Nassau or any of the Bahamas. No

 hint of pleasure boats plying the placid Caribbean. No

 lights on shore to guide them in. Only the ever-present fog

 and an occasional glimpse of a half-moon glittering on

 high, keeping a watchful silver eye on his waning hopes.

 He was still at the wheel the next morning. The fog had

 fled from the sky only to settle heavily inside his heart.

 You could see for miles in every direction. None yielded a

 glimpse of a coconut palm, a low-lying islet, or the warm

 glass-and-steel face of a Hilton Hotel. Only when the

 diesel finally sputtered to a halt, out of fuel, did he sit

 away from the helm, exhausted.

 Worst of all, he was sober. Desperation and despair had

 driven the spellsong-induced drunkenness from his body. It

 was sour irony: he had regained the use of his senses when

 he no longer had need of them.

 Roseroar assumed the wheel again, said nothing. With

 the disappearance of the fog had come the return of the

 wind. The sails filled.

 103

 1O4

 Alan Dean Foster

 "Wheah shall I set course for, Ion-Tom?" she asked

 gently. He didn't reply, stared blankly over the side.

 Mudge watched him closely. "Snarken, luv. You know

 the way." Roseroar nodded, swung the wheel over.

 "What's wrong with him?"

 Mudge replied thoughtfully. " 'E believed for a few

 minutes last night 'e might 'ave been 'ome, back in 'is

 own world. Now, me, I don't believe we went from one

 world to another that simple, even if that was a peculiar

 boat full of mighty odd-lookin' 'umans. The birds were

 sharp enough lookin', though. I'll give 'em that."

 Roseroar gave him a look of distaste. " Y' all are disgustin'.

 Yo friend is heartsick and all yo can thank of, yo scummy

 little degenerate pervert, is intercourse."

 "Blow it out your striped arse, you self-righteous bitch!

 I'd swear on me mother's 'ead that 'alf an army's done

 proper work under that tail."

 Roseroar lunged for the otter. A ghost of a voice made

 her pause.

 "Don't. Please." For the first time in days a familiar

 face swung around to face both of them. "It's not worth it.

 Not on my behalf."

 Roseroar reluctantly returned to her station behind the

 wheel. "Blimey, mate," said Mudge softly, "you really

 do think we went over into your world, don't you?"

 He nodded. "It was in the song. I didn't mean it to

 happen that way, but yes, I think we crossed over. And I

 was too drunk to do anything about it."

 "Maybe we're still in yo world," said Roseroar.

 Mudge noticed movement in the water. " 'Ang on. I

 think I know 'ow to find out." He headed toward the bow.

 Jon-Tom rose, swayed slightly. Roseroar put out a hand

 to steady him but he waved her off with a smile. "Thanks.

 I'm okay now. Stone-cold sober."

 "Yo drunkenness did come from yo song, then?"

 "Something else I didn't plan on. It's worn off. That's

 why I don't think we're still in my world. The good wears

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 105

 off along with the bad." His voice fell to a whisper. "I

 was home, Roseroar! Home."

 "Ah am sorry fo yo, Jon-Tom. Ah really and truly am."

 "You've got a big heart, Roseroar. Along with every-

 thing else." He smiled at her, then walked toward the front

 of the boat. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe there was still a

 chance, however faint that seemed now.

 The otter was leaning over the side. "How are you

 going to find out where we are?" Jon-Tom asked.

 Mudge glanced up at him. "That's easy enough, guv'nor.

 All you 'ave to do is ask." He turned his face to the water

 racing past the prow and shouted, "Hey, you, where are

 we?"

 Jon-Tom peered over the railing to see the playful,

 smooth, gray-backed shapes sliding easily through the

 water, hitching a free ride on the boat's bow-wave. One of

 them lifted its bottle-nose clear of the surface and squeaked

 a reply.

 "You're at half past a quarter after." Giggles rose from

 around the speaker as the rest of the dolphins vented their

 appreciation of the little joke.

 Mudge gave Jon-Tom an apologetic look. "Sorry, mate,

 but tain't easy gettin' a straight answer out o' this bunch o'

 sea-goin' comedians."

 "Never mind," Jon-Tom sighed. "The fact that it

 answered at all is proof enough of which world we're in."

 "Hey:ya," said another of the slim swimmers, "have

 you guys heard the one about the squid and the Third

 Mistress of Pack Thirty?"

 "No." Mudge leaned forward, interested.

 The dolphin now speaking sidled effortlessly up to the

 side of the speeding sloop. "It seems she..." Jon-Tom

 abandoned the ongoing display of oceanic vulgarity and

 climbed the central cabin to contemplate the horizon.

 No, he wasn't home anymore. Maybe he'd hallucinated

 the whole incident. Maybe there'd been no ski boat full of

 106

 Alan Dean Poster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 1O7

 stoned stockbrokers from New York. Maybe the entire

 episode was nothing more than the result of his drunkenness.

 Except that Mudge and Roseroar and Jalwar had seen

 them also.

 The last vestiges of inebriation left him frighteningly

 cold inside. It was bad enough that fate had dumped him

 in this alien otherworld. Now it had chosen to tease him

 with a glimpse of reality, of home. He felt like a poor kid

 forced to stand in front of the main display window at

 FA.O. Schwarz the night before Christmas.

 Slipping the duar around in front of him, he tried the

 song again, tried altering the inflection in his voice, the

 volume of each stanza. Tried until his throat was dry and

 he could hardly speak. Nothing worked. The song remained

 a song and nothing more.

 He tried other songs, with the same result. He sang

 everything he could remember that alluded however vaguely

 to going home, to returning home, to longing for home.

 The sloop John B. cut cleanly through the waves, running

 southwestward under Roseroar's expert guidance. There

 was no sign of land to cheer him. Only the dolphins with

 their endless corny jokes.

 "Sail ahead!" Jalwar yelled from the top of the main-

 mast. Jon-Tom shoved his own concerns aside as he joined

 Mudge near the bowsprit. Stare as he might, he saw only

 empty horizon. Mudge had no difficulty in matching the

 ferret's vision.

 "I see 'er, mate."

 . "What does she look like?"

 "Rigged normal, not like this thing." The last of

 Jon-Tom's hopes vanished. Not a speedboat, then. "Big,

 two rows of oars. That I don't like."

 "Why not?"

 "Think about it, mate. Only a fool would try rowin'

 across an ocean. Only a fool... and them that's given no

 choice in the business."

 The visitor was bearing down on them fast. Soon

 Jon-Tom could make out the silhouette. "Can you see a

 flag?"

 Mudge stared hard. Then he began to shake. "That's all

 she wrote, mate. There's a 'eart with a knife through it

 flyin' from the yardartn. Pirates." He raced sternward,

 Jon-Tom hurrying after him.

 "I thought only traders traveled the Glittergeist."

 "Aye, traders and them that preys on 'em." The otter

 was dancing frantically around Roseroar. "Do somethin',

 you bloody great caricature of a courtesan!"

 Roseroar put the wheel hard over, said evenly, "They've

 probably seen us already."

 "Jon-Tom, spellsing us out o' 'ere!" By now the huge,

 swift shape of the pirate ship was bearing down on then-

 stern. Strange figures lined the rails and the double rows of

 oars dipped in unison.

 "There's not enough wind," Roseroar observed. "What

 there is, is at our back, but they're supplemental' their

 own sails with those oahs."

 Jon-Tom was trying to untangle his duar from around

 his neck. "Our engine's out of diesel." He found himself

 eyeing the approaching behemoth in fascination. "Interest-

 ing lines."

 "Interestin" my arse!" Mudge was saying frantically.

 "You'll see 'ow interestin' it can be if they take us!"

 "I'm afraid I don't know many songs about boats,"

 Jon-Tom muttered worriedly, trying to concentrate, "and

 none at all about pirates. See, where I come from they're a

 historical oddity. Not really a valid subject for contempo-

 rary song writers."

 "Screw wot's contemporary!" the otter pleaded with

 him. "Sing something!"

 Jon-Tom tried a couple of hasty, half-remembered tunes,

 none of which had the slightest effect on the John B. or the

 approaching vessel. It was hard to remember anything,

 what with Jalwar moaning and genuflecting to the north

 108

 Alan Dean Poster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 1O9

 and Mudge hopping hysterically all over the boat when he

 wasn't screaming in Jon-Tom's face.

 Then there was no time left to think as Roseroar rum-

 bled, "Stand by to repel boarders, y'all!"

 Jon-Tom put the duar aside. No time for playing. The

 upper deck of the pirate ship loomed over them. Arrayed

 along the rail was the oddest assortment of creatures he'd

 encountered since finding himself in this world.

 One massive dirty-furred polar bear missing an ear stood

 alongside three vicious-looking pikas armed with four-

 foot-long lances. A pair of lynxes caressed chipped battle-

 axes and prepared to swing down on ropes dangling from a

 boom. Next to them a tarsier equipped with oversized

 sunglasses aimed a bow at the sloop.

 "Take "em!" snarled a snaggle-toothed old bobcat. He

 leaped boldly over the side, swinging a short scimitar over

 his ears, and landed on the club end of Jon-Tom's ramwood

 staff. He made a strangled sound as the breath went out of

 him and there was a cracking sound as a rib went.

 As the bobcat slid over the side a coyote came down

 a rope dangling above Roseroar, intent on splitting her

 skull with a mace. The tigress's swords flashed in unison.

 Four limbs went their separate ways as the coyote's limb-

 less torso landed soundlessly on the deck, spraying blood

 in all directions. It twitched horribly.

 Jon-Tom fought for control of his stomach as the attackers

 began swarming over the side in earnest. He found himself

 backing away from a couple of armored sloths whose

 attitudes were anything but slothful and, rather shockingly,

 a middle-aged man. The sloths carried no weapons, relying

 instead on their six-inch-long foreclaws to do damage.

 They didn't move as fast as the others, but Jon-Tom's

 blows glanced harmlessly off their thick leather armor.

 They forced him back toward the railing. The man

 jumped between the two sloths and tried to decapitate

 Jon-Tom with his axe. Jon-Tom ducked the blow and

 lunged, catching one of the sloths square on the nose with

 the end of his staff. He heard the bone snap, felt the carti-

 lage give under his weight. As the slotii went down, its face

 covered with blood, its companion moved in with both paws.

 Jon-Tom spun the staff, touched the hidden switch set in

 the wood, and six inches of steel emerged from the back

 end of the shaft to slide into the sloth's throat. It looked at

 him in surprise before crumpling. The man with the axe

 backed off.

 Jalwar and Mudge were trying to hack loose the grap-

 pling hooks that now bound the sloop to the larger vessel,

 but they couldn't do that and defend themselves as well.

 Both went down under a wave of attackers. Roseroar had

 been backed up to the stern. She stood there, enclosed by a

 picket line of spears and lances. Every time someone made

 a move to get under her guard, they ended up with their

 insides spilling all over the deck.

 Finally one of the mates barked an order. The spearmen

 backed off, yielding their places to archers. Arrows were

 aimed at the tigress. Being a brave warrior but not a

 suicidal one, she nodded and handed over her weapons.

 The pirates swarmed over her with chains and steel bands,

 binding her in such a way that if she tried to exert pressure

 on her bonds she would only end up choking herself. They

 were much more casual in tying up Jon-Tom.

 A towline was attached to the sloop as the prisoners

 were marched up a gangplank onto the capturing craft.

 They formed a sullen quartet as they were lined up for

 review. The rest of the crew stood aside respectfully as an

 unbloodied figure stepped forward and regarded the captives.

 The leopard was as tall as Jon-Tom. His armor was

 beautiful as well as functional, consisting of intricately

 worked leather crisscrossed with silver metal bands. His

 tail emerged from a hole in the back of the armor. The last

 half of the tail looked like a prosthesis, but Jon-Tom

 decided it would be impolitic to inquire about it just now.

 Four long knives were attached to the belt that ran around

 110

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 111

 the upper part of the big cat's waist. No armor covered the

 muscular arms.

 Leather gloves with the tips cut out to permit the use in

 battle of sharp claws showed many patches and deep cuts

 from previous fights. A deep gash across the black nose

 had healed imperfectly. Jon-Tom took all this in as the

 leopard strutted silently past them. The rest of the crew

 murmured restlessly.

 "You fought well," their inspector finally growled.

 "Very well. Too well, thinks I." He glanced significantly

 toward the sloop which bobbed astern of the bigger ship.

 "Too many shipmates lost in taking such a small prize."

 Green eyes flashed. "I don't believe in trading good mates

 for scum, but we were curious about your strange craft.

 Where do you come from and how come you by such a

 peculiar vessel? 'Tis not fashioned of wood. I'm sure of

 that."

 "It's fiberglass."

 The leopard's eyes snapped toward Jon-Tom. "Are you

 the owner of the craft?"

 Jon-Tom nodded affirmatively. "I am."

 Something stung his face and he staggered, temporarily

 blinded. His hand went instinctively to his face and came

 away with blood. He could feel the four parallel cuts the

 leopard's claws had made. They were shallow, if messy. A

 little lower and he would have lost both eyes.

 Roseroar made a dangerous noise deep in her throat

 while Mudge muttered a particularly elegant curse. The

 leopard ignored them both as it stepped forward. It's nose

 was almost touching Jon-Tom's.

 "I am...sir," it said dangerously. Mudge mumbled

 something else, and immediately the leopard's gaze flashed

 toward the otter. "Did you say something, dung-eater?"

 "Wot, me? Just clearin' me throat... sir. Dried out it

 were by a hot fight."

 " 'Tis going to get hotter for you, thinks I." The big cat

 returned his attention to Jon-Tom, who stood bleeding

 silently. "Any complaints?"

 Jon-Tom lowered his gaze from the leopard's face,

 feeling the blood trickling down his face and wondering if

 the scarring would be permanent.

 "No, sir. No complaints, sir."

 The leopard favored him with a thin smile. "That's

 better."

 ' 'Are you the captain of this ship... sir?''

 The leopard threw back his head and roared. "I am

 Sasheem, first mate." He looked to his right, stepped

 aside. "Here comes the captain now."

 Jon-Tom didn't know what to expect. Another bear,

 perhaps, or some other impressive figure. He forgot that

 captains are fashioned of brain as well as brawn, mind as

 much as muscle. The sight of the captain surprised but did

 not shock him. It seemed somehow perversely traditional.

 Captain Corroboc was a parrot. Bright green, with

 patches of blue and red. He stood about four feet tall. The

 missing right leg had been replaced with one of wood.

 Metal springs enabled it to bend at the knee. A leather

 patch covered the one empty eye socket.

 As was the fashion among the feathered citizens of this

 world, Corroboc wore a kilt. It was unpatterned and blood

 red, a perfect match to his crimson vest. The absence of a

 design showed that he had abandoned his clanship. Unlike

 many of the other fliers Jon-Tom had encountered, he wore

 no hat or cap. A narrow bandolier crossed the feathered

 breast. Sun glinted off the dozen tiny stilettos it held.

 A member of the crew later informed them that the

 captain could throw four of the deadly little blades at a

 time: one with each flexible wingtip, one with his beak,

 and the last with his remaining foot. All this with lethal

 accuracy while balancing on the artificial leg.

 The remaining bright blue eye flicked back and forth

 between the prisoners. Above and below the eye patch the

 112

 Alan Dean Foster

 skin showed an unwholesome yellow where feathers were

 missing.

 "These be all the crew of our prize?" He looked up at

 the first mate, and Jon-Tom was surprised to see the

 powerful leopard flinch back. Corroboc made eye contact

 with each of his own crew in turn.

 "A brave bunch you are. A bloodthirsty death-dealing

 collection... of infants!" His tail quivered with his anger.

 "Infants, the lot of you!" Not only Sasheem, but the rest

 of the cutthroats were completely cowed by this battered

 green bird. Jon-Tom determined not to cross him.

 "Four against nearly a hundred, was it? A fine lot you

 are!" He cocked his head sideways to gaze at the prison-

 ers. "Now then. Where be you four bound?"

 "Just a few days out from the Tailaroam," Mudge

 volunteered ingratiatingly. "We were just on a little fishin'

 trip, we were, and—"

 The wooden leg was a blur. It caught the otter between

 his short legs. Mudge turned slightly the color of the

 captain as he grabbed himself and collapsed on the deck.

 Corroboc eyed him indifferently.

 "The Emir of Ezon has a tradition of employing eu-

 nuchs to guard his palace. I haven't decided what to do

 with any of you yet, but one more lie like that and you'll

 find yourself a candidate for the knife o' the ship's

 doctor."

 Jon-Tom tried to pick a likely candidate for ship's

 physician out of the surrounding collection of cutthroats

 and failed, though he imagined that whoever that worthy

 might be, he hadn't taken his internship at the Mayo

 Clinic.

 Mudge held his peace, along with everything else. The

 blue eye fastened on Jon-Tom. "Perhaps you be smarter

 than your sour-whiskered companion. Where be you bound,

 man?"

 "Snarken," Jon-Tom replied without hesitation.

 Corroboc nodded- "Now, that makes sense, A sensible

 THE DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 113

 one. You be a strange specimen, tall man. Be you from the

 region o' the Bellwoods?"

 "I am." He had to risk the falsehood. It was true

 enough now, anyway.

 The parrot blew his nose on the deck, sniffed. "Fortunately

 for you I am in a good humor this morning." Jon-Tom

 decided he did not want to encounter him when he was in

 a bad mood. "You two"—he indicated Mudge and Jalwar—

 "can start cleaning out the bilges. That's a job long

 overdue and one I am certain you'll find to your liking.

 Won't you?'*

 Uncertain whether to say yes sir, no sir, or nothing at

 all, Jalwar stood and shook in terror. Mudge wasn't up to

 commenting. Corroboc was apparently satisfied, because

 he nodded absently before moving down to stare fearlessly

 up at the towering Roseroar.

 "As for you, I'd be pleased to make you one of my

 crew. Tis plain enough to see you're no stranger to a life

 of fighting. You'd make a valuable addition."

 "Ah'll think it ovah, sun."

 Good girl, Jon-Tom thought. There was no point in

 making the pirate parrot mad with an outright refusal,

 though he found himself wishing her reply hadn't been

 quite so convincing. Surely she wasn't seriously consider-

 ing the offer? But why not? Nothing bound her to Jon-

 Tom. In fact, she had reason enough to abandon him.

 Hadn't he yanked her unwillingly from her homeland and

 involved her in dangers in which she had no interest? If

 she were forced to throw in with some stranger, why not

 this captain as easily as some unsteady, homesick spellsinger?

 Spellsinger! He'd almost forgotten his own abilities. Not

 a one of this band of murderers knew of his avocation. He

 prayed his companions would keep the secret and not blurt

 it out in a thoughtless moment. He was particularly wor-

 ried about the elderly Jalwar, but the trader stood petrified

 and volunteered nothing.

 As if reading his thoughts, the pirate captain turned his

 114

 Alan Dean Poster

 attention back to him. "And you, tall man. What be you

 good for?"

 "Well, I can fight, too." Corroboc glanced toward his

 First mate.

 Sasheem muttered an opinion, reluctantly, "Passing well."

 Corroboc grunted and Jon-Tom added, "I am also an

 entertainer, a troubadour by trade."

 "Huh! Well, 'tis true we could do with a bit o' song on

 this scow from time to time." He gave his crew a look of

 disgust- "I gets tired o' listening to the drunken prattling

 o' this uncultured bunch."

 Fighting to conceal his anxiety, Jon-Tom went on. "My

 instrument's on board our ship, along with the rest of our

 personal effects."

 "Is it, now?" Corroboc was sweating him with that one

 piercing eye. "I expect we'll find it in due course. You in

 a rush to demonstrate your talents?"

 "At your leisure, sir." Jon-Tom felt the back of his

 indigo shirt beginning to cling damply to his skin. "It's

 only that it's a fine instrument. I'd hate to see one of your

 refined crew reduce it to kindling in hopes of finding gold

 or jewels inside. They wouldn't."

 Corroboc snorted. "Rest assured they'll mind their stink-

 ing manners." He addressed the leopard. "Take 'em

 below and lock 'em in the brig. Let them stew there for a

 bit."

 "These two also?" Sasheem pointed to Jalwar and

 Mudge.

 "Aye, the bilges will wait. Let them share each other's

 filth for a while. By the time I decide to let them out

 they'll be clamorin' to get to work."

 This sophisticated sally brought appreciative laughter

 from the crew as they sloughed away to their posts. The

 pirate ship turned westward with the sloop trailing obediently

 behind it.

 As they were herded below, Jon-Tom had his first

 glimpse of the rowers. Most were naked save for their own

 THE DAY OF THJE DISSONANCE

 115

 fur. They were a cross section of species, from humans to

 rodents. All exhibited the last stages of physical and

 mental degeneration.

 That's where we'll all end up, on the rowing benches,

 he thought tiredly. Unless we can figure out some way out

 of this.

 At the moment, entry into paradise seemed the more

 likely route. If he could only get his hands on his duar,

 there might be a chance. However fickle his spellsinging,

 however uncertain he was of what he might sing, he was

 sure of one thing: he'd fashion some kind of magic. And

 the first try would be his last. He was sure of that much.

 Corroboc wasn't stupid, and the captain would give him

 no second chance to try his hand at wizardry.

 Roseroar suddenly twisted to look back over her shoul-

 der, one paw going to her rump. The first mate was

 grinning back at her.

 "Put yo hands on me like that again, cub, and ah'H

 make music with yo bones."

 "Gentle now, big one," said the amused leopard. "I

 have no doubt you'd do just that if given the chance. But

 you won't be given the chance. It'll go easier on you in the

 long run if you mind your manners and be nice to Sasheem.

 If not, well, we have an ample supply of chain on this

 boat, we do. Your heart may be made of iron, but the rest

 of you is only flesh and bone. Nice flesh it is, too. Think

 over your options.

 "If I ask him nicely, Corroboc will give you to me."

 She glared back at him. "Ah won't be a comforting

 gift."

 Sasheem shrugged. "Comforting or unforgiving, it won't

 matter. I aim to have you. Willingly if possible, otherwise

 if not. You may as well settle your mind to that." They

 were herded into a barred cell. Sasheem favored Roseroar

 with a departing smirk as he joined the rest of his compan-

 ions in mounting the gangway.

 Roseroar sat down heavily, her huge paws clenching and

 116

 Alan Dean Foster

 unclenching. "That furred snake. Ah'd like to get my

 claws into his—"

 "Not yet, Roseroar," Jon-Tom cautioned her. "We've

 got to be patient. They don't know that I'm a spellsinger.

 If I can just get my hands on my duar, get one chance to

 play and sing, we'll have a chance."

 "A chance at wot, mate?" Mudge slumped dispiritedly

 in a comer. "For you to conjure up some poor dancin' girl

 to take Roseroar's place? To bury this slimy tub in

 flowers?"

 "I'll do something," Jon-Tom told him angrily. "You

 see if I don't."

 "I will that, guv." The otter rolled over, ignoring the

 fact that the floor of their cage was composed of rank straw

 stained dark by the urine of previous captives.

 "What are you doing?"

 "I'm goin' to 'ave a sleep, mate."

 "How can you sleep now?"

 "Because I'm tired, mate." The otter glanced up at

 him. "I am tired of fightin1, tired with fear, and most of

 all I'm tired o' listenin' to wot a wonderful spellsinger you

 are. When you're ready to magic us out o' this 'ole and

 back to someplace civilized, wake me. If not, maybe I'll

 be lucky and not wake up meself."

 "One should never ride the wave of pessimism," Jalwar

 chided him.

 "Close your cake 'ole, you useless old fart. You don't

 know wot the 'ell you're talkin' about." Hurt, the old

 ferret lapsed into silence.

 Jon-Tom had moved to the barrier and held a cell bar in

 each hand. They were fixed deep into the wood of the

 ship. Small scavenger lizards and dauntingly big bugs

 skittered about in the dark sections of the hold while others

 could be heard using the rafters for pathways.

 Then he turned to walk over to Roseroar and put a

 comforting hand on her head, stroking her between the

 ears. She responded with a tired, halfhearted purr.

 THE DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 117

 "Don't worry, Roseroar. I got you into this. Maybe I

 can't get myself home, but I can damn well get you out of

 it. I owe you that much. I owe all of you that much."

 Mudge was already asleep and didn't hear the promise.

 Jalwar squatted in another corner picking resignedly at

 strands of hay.

 I just don't know how I'm going to get you all out of

 this, Jon-Tom mused silently.

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 119

 VIII

 Somehow the concept of "swabbing the deck" was tinged

 with innocence; a reflection of childhood memories of

 stories about wooden ships and iron men.

 The reality of it was something else.

 You rested on your hands and knees on a rough planked

 deck, stripped to the waist beneath a hot sun that blistered

 your neck and set the skin to peeling off your back. Sweat

 flowed in streams from under your arms, from your fore-

 head and your belly. Anything small and solid, be it a

 speck of dust or one of your own hairs, that slipped into

 your eye made you want to run screaming for the railing to

 throw yourself over the side.

 Salt air worsened your situation, exacerbating the sore

 spots, making them fester and redden faster. Splinters

 stung the exposed skin of hands and ankles while your

 palms were raw from pushing the wide brushes soaked

 with lye-based cleaning solution.

 Meanwhile you advanced slowly the length of the deck,

 making sure to remove each bloodstain lest some laughing

 member of the crew remind you of its presence by pressing

 a heavy foot on your raw fingers.

 118

 By midday Jon-Tom no longer cared much if they were

 rescued or if he were thrown over the rail to be consumed

 by whatever carnivorous fish inhabited this part of the

 Glittergeist. He didn't have much hope left. Already he'd

 forgotten about Clothahump's illness, about returning home,

 forgotten about everything except surviving the day.

 By late afternoon they'd finished scrubbing every square

 foot of the main deck and had moved up to the poop deck.

 The helmsman, a grizzled old warhog, ignored them.

 There was no sign of the captain, for which Jon-Tom was

 unremittingly grateful.

 A crude, temporary shelter had been erected off to the

 left, close by the captain's perch. Huddled beneath the

 feeble shade this provided was a girl of sixteen, maybe a

 little older. Once she might have been pretty. Now her long

 blonde hair was so much pale seaweed clinging to her

 face. She was barely five feet tall. Her eyes were a

 washed-out blue. Excepting the heavy steel manacle that

 encircled her neck and was attached to a chain bolted to

 the deck, she was stark naked.

 It provided her with a radius of movement of about ten

 feet. No more. Just enough to get from the shelter to the

 rail, where she would have to perform any personal bodily

 functions in full view of the crew. Jon-Tom had no trouble

 following the whip welts, casual burns, and bruises that

 covered most of her body.

 She sat silently within the shelter, her legs extended to

 one side, and said nothing as they approached. She just

 stared.

 Jon-Tom used a forearm to wipe the sweat from around

 his lips. They were alone on the deck except for the old

 helmsman. He risked whispering.

 "Who are you, girl?" No reply. Only those empty blue

 eyes, staring. "What's your name?"

 "Leave 'er be, mate," said Mudge softly. "Can't you

 see there's not much left o' 'er? She's mad or near enough,

 or maybe they cut out 'er tongue to keep 'er from screamin'."

 12O

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 121

 "None of those," said the helmsman. He spoke without

 taking his eyes from the ship's course. "That's Folly, the

 captain's toy. He took her off a ship that sank several

 months ago. She's been nuthin' but trouble since. Uncooper-

 ative, unappreciative when the captain tried bein' nice to

 her. I don't know why he doesn't throw her overboard and

 be done with it. It was folly to bring her aboard, and folly

 to keep her, so Folly's been her name."

 "But what's her real name?"

 A thin, barely audible reply came from within the

 shelter. "I have no name. Folly's as good as any."

 "You can talk. They haven't broken you yet."

 She glared bitterly at Jon-Tom. "What do you know

 about anything? I've been watching you." Her mouth

 twisted. "You're hurting now. I watched when they took

 your boat and brought you aboard. The tigress will be

 around awhile. The old one won't last two weeks. The

 otter a little longer, if he keeps his mouth shut.

 "As for you," she eyed Jon-Tom contemptuously, "you'll

 say the wrong thing and lose your tongue. Or worse."

 "What happened to you?" Jon-Tom was careful to keep

 his voice down and his arms moving lest Sasheem or one

 of the other mates take note of the conversation.

 "What does it matter?"

 "It matters to me. It should matter to you, because

 we're going to get off this ship." If the helmsman over-

 heard he gave no sign.

 The girl laughed sharply. "And you thought I'd gone

 mad." She glanced at Roseroar. "The man is crazy, isn't

 he?" Roseroar made no reply, bending to her work.

 "And you'll come with us," he went on. "I wouldn't

 leave you here."

 "Why not? You've got your own business to attend to.

 Why not leave me here? You don't know me, you don't

 owe me." She spat at the deck. "This is a stupid conversa-

 tion. You're not going anywhere."

 "What happened?" he prodded gently.

 A tiny bit of the hardness seemed to go out of her, and

 she looked away from him. "My family and I were on a

 trading packet bound from Jorsta to the Isles of Durl when

 we ran afoul of these bastards. They killed my father along

 with the rest of the males and later, my mother. Since my

 little sister was too young to be of any use to them, they

 threw her overboard. They killed everyone, except for me.

 For some reason that unmentionable thing they call their

 captain took a fancy to me. I imagine he saw ftiture profit

 in me." She shrugged. "I've taken care to give them

 nothing but trouble since. Hence my name, a gift of the

 crew."

 "Been less troublesome lately," grunted the helmsman

 significantly.

 "Have you tried to escape?"

 "Escape to where? Yes, I tried anyway. Better drowning

 or sharks than this. At least, I tried before they put this

 chain on me. I only tried once. There are worse things than

 being beaten. As you may find out."

 He lowered his voice to make certain the helmsman

 couldn't overhear. "I don't intend to. We're getting off this

 ship. Will you come with us when we do?"

 "No." She stared straight back at him. "No. I won't. I

 don't want to be hurt anymore."

 "That's why I'm taking you with us." She turned away

 from him. "What's wrong?"

 Mudge gave him a gentle nudge. "Watch your mouth,

 lad. 'Tis the captain, may 'e rot in 'is own excrement."

 "How goes she, Pulewine?" Corroboc inquired of his

 helmsman.

 "Steady on course, Captain."

 Jon-Tom kept his attention on his scrub brush, heard the

 thunk of the captain's wooden leg move nearer.

 "And how be our fine cleaning crew this bright morn-

 ing? Are they working like the elegant fighters we brought

 aboard?"

 "No, Captain." The helmsman allowed himself a grunting

 122

 Alan Dean Foster

 laugh. "As anyone can see, they're working like the scum

 that they are."

 "That's good." Corroboc walked around Jon-Tom until

 the parrot was standing between him and Folly's shelter.

 He turned his good eye on the man. "Now then, mayhap

 we each understand our place in the order o' things, har?"

 "Yes, Captain," murmured Jon-Tom readily enough.

 "Aye, that be the way to answer. Keep that tone about

 you and you'll live to do more service." He cast a glance

 into the shelter and Jon-Tom went cold as he saw the look

 that came over Folly's face as she drew back into the

 shadows.

 "Chatting with the young she, have you?"

 Since the helmsman had been privy to much of their

 conversation, Jon-Tom could hardly deny it had taken

 place.

 "A word or two, sir. Harmless enough."

 "Har, I be sure o' that! A cute little specimen of her

 species, though not marketable in her present condition,

 fears I. A consequence of noncooperation." Jon-Tom said

 nothing, scrubbed harder, trying to push the brush through

 the wood.

 "That's it, boy. Scrub well and we'll see to giving you a

 chance to entertain us when you've finished." He shared a

 laugh with the helmsman. "Though not the kind you

 think, no. The two of you can entertain us together."

 "I wouldn't get under that whey-faced stringbean if you

 shot me with pins," Folly snapped.

 Corroboc turned that merciless eye on his prisoner.

 "Now, what make you think you'd be having any choice

 in the matter, Folly? It'll be a pleasant thing to work out

 the geometry of it." He lashed out suddenly with his one

 good foot. The sharp claws cut twin bloody gouges up her

 thigh and she let out a soft cry.

 Jon-Tom dug his fingernails into the wood of the brush.

 "That be better now, and we'll be having no more

 arguments, will we?" Folly clung to the shadows and

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 123

 whimpered, holding her injured leg. "You've been disap-

 pointment enough to me. As soon as we make land I'll rid

 myself of you, and I'll make certain your buyer is of a

 similar mind when it comes to staging entertainments.

 Then perhaps you'll yearn for the good old days back

 aboard Corroboc's ship, har?" He turned back to the deck

 cleaners.

 "Keep at it, slime." He addressed his helmsman. "When

 they've finished the deck, run them forward and set them

 to scrubbing the sides. Sling them over in nets. If one of

 them falls through, it will serve as a fine lesson to the

 others."

 "Aye, Captain," said the helmsman.

 Corroboc rose on bright green wings to glide down to

 the main deck. The warthog cast a wizened eye at Jon-

 Tom.

 "Watch thy tongue and mind thy manners and thee

 might live as much as a year." This admonition was

 finished off with a thick, grunting laugh. "Still going to

 escape?"

 You bet your porcine ass we are, Jon-Tom thought

 angrily as he attacked the decking. The wood was the only

 thing he could safely take out his fury on. We'll get out of

 this somehow and take that poor battered girl with us.

 Without his realizing it, the sight of Folly had done

 something their own desperate situation had not: it forced

 him to realize how selfish he'd been these past hours,

 moping around bemoaning his fate. He wasn't the only

 one who had problems. Everyone else was depending on

 him—Mudge and Jalwar and Roseroar, and Clothahump

 sick and hurt back in his tree, and now Folly.

 So he hadn't made it back to his own world. Tough.

 Self-pity wouldn't get him any closer to L.A. He had

 friends who needed him.

 Mudge noticed the change in his friend's attitude imme-

 diately. He scrubbed the deck with renewed enthusiasm.

 "Work 'ard and 'ave confidence, mates," he whispered

 124

 Alan Dean Poster

 THE DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 125

 to Jalwar and Roseroar. "See that look on me pal's face?

 I've seen it afore. 'E may be 'alf bonkers, but sometimes

 'tis the 'alf bonkers, part crazy part that sees a way out

 where none's to be seen."

 "I pray it is so," whispered Jalwar, "or we are well and

 truly doomed."

 " 'Alf a chance," Mudge muttered. "That's all *e needs

 is 'alf a chance."

 "They may not give it to him," commented Roseroar.

 While his companions slept the sleep of the exhausted

 that night, Jon-Tom planned and schemed. Corroboc was

 going to let him sing, out of curiosity if naught else. Songs

 would have to be chosen carefully, with an eye toward

 suppressing any suspicions the captain might have. Jon-

 Tom had no doubt that the homicidal parrot would watch

 him carefully.

 His recital should be as bland and homogenous as

 possible. Somehow he would have to find an effective tune

 that would have the hoped-for results while sounding

 perfectly innocent. The lyrics would have to be powerful

 but nonthreatening.

 Only when he'd arranged a program in his mind did he

 allow himself to fall into a troubled, uneasy sleep.

 The first mate had them scrubbing the base of the

 mainmast the next morning. Corroboc strolled past without

 looking at the work, and Jon-Tom turned slowly toward

 him, keeping his tone deferential.

 "Your pardon, Captain."

 The parrot turned, wingtips resting on slim bird hips.

 "Don't waste my time, boy. You've plenty to do."

 "I know that, Captain sir, but it's very much the wrong

 kind of work. I miss my chosen avocation, which is that of

 minstrel. My knowledge of songs of far lands is unsur-

 passed."

 "Be that so, boy?"

 Jon-Tom nodded vigorously. "I know wondrous chords

 and verse of great beauty, can bring forth the most mellifluous

 sounds from my instrument. You would find that they fall

 lightly on the ears and sometimes, I am embarrassed to say

 it, risquely." He risked a knowing wink.

 "I see," was all Corroboc said at first. Then, "Can it

 be that after only a day you know where your true interests

 lie? Har, truth and a little sun can do that to one. You'd

 rather sing for your supper now than scrub for it, har?"

 "If you would allow me, Captain." Jon-Tom tried to

 look hopeful and compliant at the same time.

 "Far lands, you say? Tis been a longish time since

 there's been any music aboard this tub other than the

 screaming of good citizens as they made their way over the

 side." He glanced to his left. Mudge, Jalwar, and Roseroar

 had been set to varnishing the railings.

 "And what of your mates? How do you think they'll

 react if they have to do your labor as well as their own?"

 Licking his lips, Jon-Tom stepped forward and smiled

 weakly, concealing his face from sight of his companions.

 "Look, sir, I can't help what they think, but my back's

 Coming apart. I don't have any fur to protect me from the

 sun the way they do, and they don't seem to care. So why

 should I care what they think?"

 "That be truth, as 'tis a poor naked-fleshed human you

 be. Not that it matters to me. However—" he paused,

 considering, while Jon-Tom held his breath, "we'll give

 you a chance, minstrel. Har. But," he added dangerously,

 "if you be lying to me to get out of a day's work, I'll put

 you to polishing the ship's heads from the inside out."

 "No, Captain, I wouldn't lie to you, no sir!" He added

 disingenuously, "If I weren't a minstrel, what would I be

 doing carrying a musical instrument about?"

 ' 'As a master practitioner of diverse perversions I might

 suggest any number of things, har, but I can see you

 haven't the necessary imagination." He turned and shouted.

 "Kaskrel!" A squirrel with a ragged tail hurried to obey.

 "Get belowdecks and fetch the instrument from my cabin.

 The one we took from this man's prize."

 126

 Alan Dean Poster

 THE DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 127

 "Aye sir!" the squirrel squeaked, disappearing down a

 hatch.

 "Come with me, tall man." Jon-Tom followed Corroboc

 up onto the poop deck. There the captain settled himself

 into a wicker chair that hung from a crossbeam. The top of

 the basket chair doubled as a perch, offering the captain a

 choice of resting positions. This time he chose to sit inside

 the basket.

 The squirrel appeared momentarily, carrying Jon-Tom's

 duar. He tried not to look at the instrument with the

 longing he felt, particularly since a curious Sasheem had

 followed the sailor up the ladder. The squirrel handed it

 over and Jon-Tom caressed it lovingly. It was undamaged.

 He was about to begin playing when a new voice

 interrupted him.

 At first he thought both of the dog's ears had been

 cropped. Then he saw that they were torn and uneven,

 evidence of less refined surgery. The dog limped and

 leaned on a crutch. Unlike Corroboc he still had the use of

 both legs. It was just that one was a good foot shorter than

 the other. Jowls hung loosely from the canine face.

 "Don't do it, Cap'n."

 Corroboc eyed the arrival quizzically. "Now what be

 your objection, Macreeg?"

 The old dog looked over at Jon-Tom. "I don't like it, sir.

 Better to keep this one swabbing the decks."

 Corroboc kicked out with his wooden leg. It caught the

 sailor's crutch and sent him stumbling in pursuit of new

 support, only to land sprawling on his rump, accompanied

 by the derisive laughter of his fellow sailors.

 "Har, where be your sense of refinement, Macreeg?

 Where be your feeling for culture?' *

 Neither perturbed nor intimidated, the old sailor slowly

 climbed back to his feet, stretching to his full four and a

 half feet of height.

 "I just don't trust him, Cap'n. I don't like the look of

 him and I don't like his manner."

 "Well, I be not in love with his naked features either,

 Mister Macreeg, but they don't upset me liver. As for his

 manner"—he threw Jon-Tom one of his disconcertingly

 penetrating glances—"what of your manner, man?"

 "Anything you say, Captain sir," replied Jon-Tom as he

 dropped his eyes toward the deck.

 The parrot held the stare a moment longer. "Har, that be

 adequate. Not quite servile enough yet, but that will come

 with time. You see?" He looked toward the old sailor.

 "There be nothing wrong in this. Music cannot harm us.

 Can it, tall man? Because if I were to think for one instant

 that you were trying to pull something peculiar on me..."

 "I'm just a wandering minstrel, sir," Jon-Tom explained

 quickly. "All I want is a chance to practice the profession

 for which I was trained."

 "Har, and to save your fragile skin." Corroboc grunted.

 "So be it." He leaned back in the gently swaying basket

 chair. Sasheem stood nearby, cleaning his teeth with what

 looked like a foot-long icepick. Jon-Tom knew if he sang

 anything even slightly suggestive of rebellion or defiance,

 that sharp point would go through his offending throat.

 He plucked nervously at the duar, and his first words

 emerged as a croak. Fresh laughter came from the crew.

 Corroboc obviously enjoyed his discomfiture.

 "Sorry, sir." He cleared his throat, wishing for a glass

 of water but not daring to chance the request. ' "This... this

 particular song is by a group of minstrels who called

 themselves the Eagles."

 Corroboc appeared pleased. "My cousins in flight, though

 I chose to fly clanless. Strong, but weak of mind. I never

 cared much for their songmaking, as their voices be high

 and shrill."

 "No, no," Jon-Tom explained. "The song is not by

 eagles, but by men like myself who chose to call them-

 selves that."

 "Strange choice of names. Why not call themselves the

 128

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 129

 Men? Well, it be of no matter. Sing, minstrel. Sing, and

 lighten the hearts of my sailors and myself."

 "As you command, Captain sir," said Jon-Tom. And he

 began to sing.

 The duar was no Fender guitar, but the words came

 easily to him. He began with "Take It Easy." The long

 high notes rolled smoothly from his throat. He finished,

 swung instantly into the next song he'd carefully chosen.

 Corroboc's eye closed and the rest of the crew started to

 relax. They were enjoying the music. Jon-Tom moved on

 to "Best of My Love," then a medley of hits by the

 Bee Gees.

 Nearby, Mudge blinked as he slapped varnish on wind-

 scoured wood. "Wot's 'e tryin' to do?"

 "Ah don't know," said Roseroar. "Ah heah no mention

 of powerful demons oah spirits."

 Only Jalwar was smiling as he worked. "You aren't

 supposed to, and neither are the ruffians around us. Listen!

 Don't you see what he's up to? Were he to sing of flight or

 battle that leopard would lay open his throat in an instant.

 He knows what he's doing. Don't listen to the words.

 They're doing as he intends. Look around you. Look at the

 crew."

 Mudge peered over his shoulder. His eyes widened.

 "Blimey, they're fallin' asleep!"

 "Yes," said Jalwar. "They wait ready for the slightest

 hint of danger, and instead he lulls them with lullabies.

 Truly he is a master spellsinger."

 "Don't say that, mate," muttered Mudge uneasily. "I've

 seen 'is nibs go wrong just when 'e thought 'e 'ad it

 right." But though he hardly dared believe, it was looking

 more and more as if Jon-Tom was going to bring it off.

 The spellsinger was now wending his lilting way through

 "Peaceful Easy Feeling." "See," whispered Jalwar ex-

 citedly through clenched, sharp teeth, "even the armpit

 of a captain begins to go!"

 No question but that Corroboc was slumped in the chair.

 Sasheem yawned and sat down beside him. They made an

 unlovely couple.

 All around the deck the crewmembers were blinking and

 yawning and falling asleep where they stood. Only the

 three prisoners remained awake.

 "We are aware of what he is doing," Jalwar explained,

 "and in any case the magic is not directed at us."

 "That's good, guv'nor." Mudge had to work to stifle a

 yawn, blinked in surprise. "Strong stuff 'e's workin'."

 By the time Jon-Tom sang the final strains of "Peace-

 ful Easy Feeling," the pirate ship was sailing aimlessly. Its

 bloodthirsty crew lay snoring soundly on the deck, in the

 hold below, and even up in the rigging. He took a step

 toward Corroboc and ran his eyes over the captain's attire

 without finding what he was hunting for. Then he joined

 his friends.

 "Did any of you see where he put his keyring?"

 "No, mate," Mudge whispered, "but we'd best find

 'em fast."

 Jon-Tom started for the door leading to the captain's

 cabin, then hesitated uncertainly. Once inside, where would

 he look? There might be a sealed chest, many drawers, a

 hidden place beneath a nest or mattress, and the keyring

 might not even be kept in the cabin. Maybe Sasheem had

 charge of the keys, or maybe one of the other ship's

 officers.

 He couldn't go looking for them and still sing the

 sleep spell. Already some of the somnolent crew were

 beginning to stir impatiently. And he didn't have the

 slightest idea how long the spellsong would remain in

 effect.

 "Do somethin', mate!" Mudge was tugging uselessly

 on his own ankle chains.

 "Where should I look for the keys? They're not on the

 captain." Suddenly words in his mind, suggestive of

 something once remembered. Not suggestions of a place to

 hunt for keys, but snatches of a song.

 130

 Alan Dean Poster

 A song about steel cat eyes and felines triumphant.

 About "The Mouse Patrol That Never Sleeps," a lethal

 little bloodthirsty ditty about an ever-watchful carnivorous

 kitty. Or so he'd once described it to a friend.

 He sang it now, wishing lan Anderson were about to

 accompany him on the flute, the words pouring rapidly

 from his lips as he tried to concentrate on the tune while

 keeping a worried eye on the comatose crew.

 The section of anchor chain that had been used to bind

 Roseroar suddenly cracked and fell away. She looked in

 amazement at the broken links, then up at Jon-Tom.

 Wordlessly, she went to work on the much thinner chains

 restraining her companions. Mudge and Jalwar were freed

 quickly as immense biceps strained. They vanished below-

 decks as she worked on Jon-Tom's bindings. By the time

 she'd finished freeing him, the otter and ferret had reappeared.

 Mudge's longbow was slung over his shoulder and his face

 was almost hidden by the burden of the tigress's armor.

 Jalwar dragged her heavy swords behind him, panting

 hard.

 They turned and raced for the tow rope attached to the

 John B. Only Jon-Tom lingered.

 "Come on," Roseroar called to him. "What ah yo

 waitin' fo?"

 He whispered urgently back to her. "The girl! I promised."

 "She don't care what yo do. She'll only be trouble."

 "Sorry, Roseroar." He turned and rushed for the nearest

 open hatch.

 "Damn," the tigress growled. She pushed past him,

 vanished below. While he waited he sang, but the spellsong

 was beginning to surrender its potency. Several sailors

 rolled over in their sleep, snuffling uneasily.

 Then a vast white-and-black shape was pushing past

 him, the limp naked form of Folly bouncing lightly on one

 shoulder like a hunting trophy. Jon-Tom's heart stopped for

 a second, until he saw that her condition was no different

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 131

 from that of the rest of die ship's complement. His spell-

 singing had put Folly to sleep also.

 "Satisfied?" Roseroar snarled.

 "Quite." He muffled a grin as he raced her to the stern.

 Mudge and Jalwar were just boarding the sloop, Mudge

 having negotiated the short swim with ease, while Jalwar

 displayed typical ferret agility by walking the swaying tow

 rope all the way down to the boat. Roseroar was about to

 step over the side when she saw Jon-Tom hesitate for the

 second time.

 4'Now what's the mattah?"

 "I've done a tot of running, Roseroar, and I'm a pretty

 good swimmer, but the sea's rough and my shoulders are

 so sore from pushing that damn scrub brush that I'm not

 sure if I can make it. You go on. I'll try and catch up.

 When you cast off the line you can swing her 'round and

 pick me out of the water."

 She shook her head. "Ah declah, ah nevah heard any-

 one, not even a human, talk so damn much. Grab hold."

 She turned her back to him.

 Deciding this wasn't the time to salvage whatever remained

 of his already bruised male ego, he put both arms around

 her neck, using one to help balance Folly. Roseroar ig-

 nored her double burden as she went hand over hand down

 the towrope until all of them were standing safe on the

 deck of the John B.

 "Cast off!" Jon-Tom shouted at Mudge as he ran for the

 stern. "I'll take the wheel. Roseroar, you run the sails

 up."

 "With pleasure." She dumped Folly's unconscious form

 onto the deck. Jon-Tom winced as it hit, decided that one

 more black and blue mark wouldn't show up against the

 background of bruises that covered the girl's entire body.

 Roseroar worked two winches at once while Mudge

 hacked away with his short sword at the thick hauser

 linking them to the pirate ship. In seconds the sloop swung

 clear. Her sails climbed the mast, caught the wind. Jon-

 132

 Alan Dean Foster

 Tom turned her as confused shouts and cries of outrage

 began to sound from the deck of the larger vessel.

 "Not a moment too soon." Jalwar spoke admiringly

 from his position atop the center cabin. "You have the

 gift, it is certain."

 Jon-Tom shrugged off the compliment and concentrated

 on catching as much wind as possible. "I didn't study for

 it and I didn't plan on it. It's just a lucky combination of

 my musical training and something I've picked up in this

 world."

 "Nonetheless, it cannot be denied. You have the gift."

 For an instant it was as if the years had left the ferret

 and a different being entirely was standing next to the

 mainmast looking down at Jon-Tom. He blinked once, but

 when he looked again it was just the same Jalwar, aged

 and stooped and tired. The ferret turned away and stum-

 bled toward the bow to see if he could help Mudge or

 Roseroar.

 The tigress had the rigging well in hand, and at Jon-

 Tom's direction, Mudge was breaking out the sloop's

 spinnaker. Behind them, furious faces lined the port side

 of the pirate ship. Rude gestures and bloodthirsty curses

 filled the air. Above all sounded a thunderous cackling

 from Corroboc. The faces fled the railing, to reappear

 elsewhere on the ship as the crew swarmed up the masts.

 Oars began to dip as dull-eyed galley slaves took up the

 cue provided by whip and drum. The big ship began to

 come about.

 But this time the sloop was sailing with the wind to

 port. The square-rigged pirate craft could not tack as well

 as the modern, fore-rigged sloop, nor could it overtake

 them on oar power. Still, with the galley slaves driven to

 collapse, it looked for a moment as if Corroboc might still

 close the distance between vessels. Then Mudge finally

 puzzled out the rigging that lifted the spinnaker. The

 racing sail ballooned to its full extent, filled with wind,

 and the sloop fairly leaped away from its pursuers.

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 133

 "We made it, we're away!" Jon-Tom shouted gleefully.

 Mudge joined him in the stern. The otter balanced

 precariously on the bobbing aft end railing, turned his back

 to the pirate ship, and pulled down his pants. Bending

 over, he made wonderfully insulting faces between his

 legs. The pirates responded with blood-chilling promises

 of what they'd do if they caught the sloop, but their words,

 like their ship, were rapidly falling astern.

 "Yes, we made it." Jalwar glanced speculatively up at

 the billowing sails. "If the wind holds."

 As soon as his audience had dropped out of sight,

 Mudge ceased his contortions and jumped to the deck,

 buttoning his shorts.

 "We'll make it all right, guv'nor." He was smiling

 broadly as he gave Jon-Tom a friendly whack on the back.

 "Bake me for a brick, mate, but you sure 'ad me fooled!

 'Ere I was expectin' you to conjure up somethin' like a

 ten-foot-tall demon to demolish them bastards, and instead

 you slickered me as well as them."

 "I knew that if I tried anything overt, Corroboc would

 have me riding a pike before the day was out." Jon-Tom

 adjusted their heading.

 "Aye, that 'e would. Crikey but that were a neat slip o'

 thought, puttin' 'em all gentle to beddy-bye like you did,

 and then freein' up the monster missus there." He nodded

 in Roseroar's direction.

 "Actually I'd intended to go looking for the key,"

 Jon-Tom told him, trying to hide his embarrassment.

 "When I realized I didn't have the slightest idea where

 Corroboc's keyring was hidden I knew the only chance we

 had left was to free Roseroar."

 The tigress stepped down from the mast to join them,

 staring back over the stern. "Ah only wish ah'd had a few

 minutes to mahself on that boat." Her eyes narrowed and

 she growled low enough to chill the blood of her compan-

 ions. "That fust mate, fo example. Wouldn't he have been

 surprised when he'd woke up without his—"

 134

 Alan Dean Poster

 "Roseroar," Jon-Tom chided her, "that's no way for a

 lady to talk."

 She showed sharp teeth, huge fangs. "That depends on

 the lady, don't it, Jon-Tom?" Suddenly she pushed past

 him, frowning as she squinted into the distance.

 "What's wrong?" he asked, turned to look aft.

 She spoke evenly, unafraid, and ready.

 "Looks like we ain't finished with ol' Corroboc yet."

 IX

 "Gel below, Jalwar," Jon-Tom told the ferret. "You'll be

 of no use to us on deck."

 "I must disobey, sir." The oldster had picked up a long

 fishing gaff and was hefting it firmly. "I am not going

 back onto that floating purgatory. I'd rather die here."

 Jon-Tom nodded, held his staff ready in front of him. In

 planning and executing their subtle flight from the pirate

 ship he'd forgotten one thing. Forgotten it because he'd

 been in mis strange world so long he'd come to think of it

 as normal. So when he'd planned their escape he hadn't

 considered that they might have to deal with the fact that

 Corroboc and several of his crew could fly.

 There were only six of them. The captain must have

 threatened all of them with dismemberment to force so

 small a group to make the attack. Behind the parrot flew a

 couple of big ravens, a hawk, and a small falcon. They

 were armed with thin spears and light swords.

 Jon-Tom set the sloop on automatic pilot, which left him

 free to join the fight. Jalwar thought the flashing red light

 of this new magic fascinating.

 The fliers were fast and agile. Corroboc in particular

 135

 136

 Alan Dean Foster

 might be short an eye and a leg, but there was nothing

 wrong with his wings. He dove and twisted as he thrust,

 keeping just out of range of his former prisoner's weapons.

 Nevertheless, it soon became clear that the pirates were

 overmatched.

 Corroboc's strategy was good. It called for his crew to

 stay just beyond sword range while striking with their

 needlelike spears. It might even have worked except for

 the one joker in the sloop's deck. With his longbow,

 Mudge gleefully picked off first the falcon and then wounded

 one of the ravens.

 This forced the attackers to close with their quarry, and

 their agility couldn't compensate for their relatively small

 size. One of Roseroar's spinning swords sliced the wounded

 raven in half. Then another of Mudge's arrows pierced the

 hawk's thin armor. When he saw that he couldn't hope to

 win either at long range or in close, Corroboc ordered a

 retreat.

 "Have a care for your gullets, scum!" the parrot shouted

 at them as he danced angrily in the air just out of arrow

 range. "I swear your fate be sealed! The oceans, nay, the

 whole world be not big enough to hide you from me.

 Wherever you run to old Corroboc will find you, and when

 he do, you'll wish you'd never been borned!"

 "Blow it out your arse, mate!" Mudge followed this

 with a long string of insulting comments on the captain's

 dubious ancestry. Roseroar listened with distaste.

 "Such uncouthness! Ah do declah, it makes me queasy

 all ovah. Ah do so long fo the refined conversation of

 civilized company."

 The otter overheard and cast a dignified eye back at her.

 "Cor! I'll 'ave you know, me elephantine kitten, that me

 language is as fucking refined as anyone's!"

 "Yes," she agreed sweetly. "Ah surely don't know how

 ah could have thought otherwise."

 Jon-Tom stepped between them. "What are you two

 THE DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 137

 arguing about this time? We won, and we're safely on

 course again."

 A shaky, no longer cocky voice came from the gangway.

 "What... what did we win? Who won?"

 Jon-Tom remembered Folly. "Take the wheel, Roseroar."

 "Jon-Tom, if n yo want mah opinion, ah think—!"

 He disengaged the autopilot. The boat heeled sharply to

 port, and Roseroar was forced to grab the wheel to keep it

 from spinning wildly.

 Jon-Tom searched the gangway, finally discovered Folly

 huddled far back in a lower bunk. Within the sloop's

 clean, quiet confines she looked suddenly fragile. The iron

 collar was an ugly dark stain around her pale neck.

 He studied it thoughtfully. The sloop was well stocked.

 If he searched, he was certain he could find a hacksaw or

 something with which to cut the metal.

 "Relax, calm yourself." He spoke gently, soothingly.

 "You're free. Just as I promised. Well, not completely

 free," he corrected himself, smiling encouragingly. "You're

 still stuck with us. But you can forget about Corroboc.

 You'll never have to worry about him again. I spellsang

 them to sleep. You too. While they all slept, we escaped."

 Her reply was halting. "Then... you are a wizard.

 And I doubted you."

 "Forget it. Sometimes I doubt it myself." She was

 swaying on the bunk and he was suddenly concerned.

 "Hey, you don't look so good."

 "I'm so tired...." She put her hand to her forehead

 and fell over into his arms. He was acutely aware of her

 nakedness. Not to mention her smell. Corroboc's ship was

 no paragon of good hygiene. Folly likely hadn't bathed

 since she'd been taken captive.

 He slipped a supportive arm around her back. "Come

 with me." He helped her stumble toward the ship's head.

 "We'll let you get cleaned up. Then we'll find some way

 to get that chunk of iron off you. While you're showering

 138

 Alan Dean Poster

 I

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 139

 I'll see if I can find something for you to wear. There must

 be clothes in one of the ship's storage lockers."

 "I thank you for your kindness, sir."

 He smiled again. "That's better. Just call me Jon-Tom."

 She nodded, leaning against him. For a minute he thought

 she was going to break down in his arms. She didn't. Not

 then, and not later. The first thing she'd lost on Corroboc's

 ship was the ability to cry.

 While she washed, he searched the ship's cabinets. One

 contained familiar clothing. Familiar to him, but not to any

 of his companions. He made a few selections and left them

 outside the shower, along with a hacksaw and a file.

 He'd expected to see an improvement, but he was still

 shocked when she reappeared on deck later that afternoon.

 She'd removed the iron collar. Her hair was combed out

 and pulled back behind her. She stood there and looked

 down at herself uneasily.

 "I must look passing strange in these peculiar garments.'*

 "You'll get no argument on that from me, luv." The

 flabbergasted Mudge moved closer to inspect the odd

 attire. "Strange sort o' material." He ran a paw over one

 leg, reached higher. " 'Ere too."

 "That's not material," she said angrily, knocking his

 questing fingers away.

 Mudge grinned as he dodged. "Fine-feelin' material to

 me, luv."

 "You try that again, water rat, and I'll..."

 Jon-Tom ignored them. The argument wasn't serious.

 Mudge was being his usual obnoxious self, and he thought

 Folly realized it. Besides which he was busy enough trying

 to sort out his own jumbled feelings.

 Folly was gorgeous. There was no other word for it.

 Young, but beautiful, standing there on the deck in old

 JLevi's and a worn sweatshirt that had SLOOP JOHN B.

 printed across the back. She looked so achingly normal, so

 much like any girl he might encounter on the beach back

 home, that for a moment he was afraid he would be the

 one to cry.

 Only the fading but still visible bruises on her face and

 the ring the collar had left around her neck reminded him

 of where he'd found her. He would have to hunt for the

 sloop's first-aid kit. Or maybe he could think of a good

 healing song, something more effective here than bandages

 and ointments,

 Roseroar gave the new arrival a cursory once-over and

 snorted. "Skinny little thing. Yo humans..." She turned

 her gaze to the stars mat were coming out. Jalwar was

 already asleep somewhere below, the poor old ferret exhausted

 by the strenuous events of the past few days. The horizon

 astern was clear, the pirate ship having dropped out of

 sight long ago. The wind off the waves still blew them

 steadily toward Snarken, a goal temporarily lost and now

 within reach again.

 Snarken itself proved easy to locate. As soon as they

 sailed within fifty miles of the city there was a perceptible

 increase in the volume of surface traffic around the sloop.

 All they had to do was hail a couple of merchant ships

 bound for the same destination and follow them in.

 A long range of hills that rolled down to the sea was

 split by a wide but crowded inlet. Once through they found

 themselves in a spacious bay ringed by lush green slopes

 that climbed several hundred feet above the harbor. Still

 higher land was visible off in the distance.

 Wharves and docks crowded together on the far side of

 the bay. These were home to dozens of vessels that docked

 here from lands known and alien. Snarken was the princi-

 pal port on the Glittergeist's southwestern shore.

 Jon-Tom steered them through the merchantmen, in

 search of an empty dock. Many of the wharves were

 constructed of stone. The rocks were smooth and rounded,

 evidence mat they had been carried down to the beach by

 glaciers some time far in the past. The stones were

 cemented tightly together and topped with planks.

 14O

 Alan Dean Foster

 They finally located an open slip. Mudge dickered with

 the dockmaster until a fee was settled on. This brought up

 the matter of their Malderpot-induced impecuniousness. A

 solution was found in the form of several stainless steel

 hammers taken from the sloop's toolbox. These the avari-

 cious dockmaster eagerly accepted in payment.

 "What do you think, Mudge?" Jon-Tom asked the otter

 as they walked up the pier. "Will he leave the ship

 alone?"

 "An 'onest bloke's easy enough to spot, bein' a rare sort

 o1 bird. She'll be safe in our absence. For one thing, the

 greedy bugger's terrified of 'er."

 Jon-Tom nodded, paused as they stepped off the pier

 onto the cobblestone avenue that fronted the harbor. Lizard-

 drawn wagons piled high with goods clanked and rumbled

 all around them. Strange accents and aromas filled the air.

 "That bit o' business do bring one problem to mind,

 mate."

 "What's that, Mudge?"

 "Wot are we goin' to do for money? We can't keep

 tradin' away ship's tools."

 Jon-Tom rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Right you are.

 We're going to have to buy supplies for the trek to

 Cranculam, too. We're going to need a lot."

 "I'll say!" said Folly impatiently. "I need some real

 clothes. I can't walk around in this silly otherworldly stuff.

 People will laugh at me. Besides"—she ran her hands over

 the too-tight seat of her jeans—"it binds me most strangely."

 Mudge stepped toward her. " 'Ere now, luv, let me 'ave

 a looksee. Might be we could loosen this 'ere...."

 She jumped away from his outstretched fingers. "Keep

 your hands to yourself, water rat, or you're liable to lose

 them."

 Mudge pursed his lips hurtfully, turned to Jon-Tom.

 "Now, 'ere's an idea, mate. Why don't we sell 'er? That

 were probably the best idea that ever occurred to that

 rancid bag o' feathers Corroboc. Now that she's cleaned

 THE DAY OF THK DISSONANCE

 141

 up 'alfway decent, she'd likely bring a nice bit o' change.

 It would solve two of our problems at once, wot?"

 Despite his speed, the otter barely succeeded in ducking

 under Jon-Tom's swing. The chase shifted to a cluster of

 big wooden barrels, but Jon-Tom was unable to run the

 tireless otter down. He wore him out pretty good, though.

 "Take it easy, mate." Both man and otter fought to

 catch their breath. Mudge looked out from behind a barrel.

 "Let's not kill each other over it. It were just a thought."

 "Okay. But let's not have any more idiotic talk about

 selling Folly or anyone else."

 The object of this exhausted discussion gazed curiously

 up at her rescuer. "Why don't you sell me? I'm nothing to

 you. I'm nothing to anyone except myself. Don't think I'm

 being ungrateful. I wouldn't have lived another month on

 that ship. I want to help you. I can't think of any other

 way to repay you for your kindnesses." She threw a

 warning glance the otter's way. Wisely, Mudge said nothing.

 "All I have, though, is myself. If you need money so

 badly, selling me should solve your problem. I'm worth

 something." She turned away, unable to meet his eyes.

 "Even after the way I've been used."

 He tried hard not to be angry with her. "Where I come

 from, Folly, we don't sell people."

 "You don't?" She looked genuinely puzzled. "Then

 what do you do with people who have nothing else to

 do?"

 "We put 'em on welfare, social security."

 She shook her head. "Those words mean nothing to

 me."

 He tried to explain. "We see to it that everyone is

 guaranteed some sort of minimum income, some kind of

 sustenance."

 "Even if they're no good at anything?"

 "Even if they're no good at anything."

 "That doesn't seem very efficient."

 "Maybe it's not efficient, but it's human."

 142

 Alan Dean Foster

 "Brock's blocks, now there you 'ave it, luv. That

 explains it all. Sounds like the sort o' bizarre scheme a

 bunch o' 'umans would dream up."

 "Nobody gets sold," Jon-Tom announced with finality.

 "Right then, mate. Wot do you propose we do for

 funds?" He indicated the rows of buildings lining the

 harborfront. "We need food and a place to sleep and

 supplies."

 Jon-Tom glanced up at the heretofore silent Roseroar.

 "You wouldn't sell her, would you?"

 The tigress turned away. "It ain't fo me to say." She

 sniffed toward the girl. "Perhaps she's just tryin' to tell yo

 she wants to go her own way."

 Jon-Tom posed the question. "Is that true, Folly?"

 "No. I have no place to go, but I don't want to cause

 trouble or be in the way, and I do want to help."

 "Sensibly put," said Mudge brightly. "If you'll allow

 me, mate, I'll begin searchin* out the likely markets, and

 we can—"

 "Wait a minute." Jon-Tom was nodding to himself.

 "We can sell the sloop."

 "The magic boat?" Jalwar looked doubtful. "Is that

 wise?"

 "Why not? From what Clothahump told me, Cranculam

 lies overland from Snarken. We've no further need for a

 boat, magic or not. As for returning home, I hope to be

 able to pay our way. I'm tired of sailing. I'd like to be a

 passenger for a while." He put a hand on Mudge's

 shoulder.

 "You saw the way the wharfmaster jumped at the

 chance to get those two hammers. Think what some rich

 local would pay for the whole boat. There's nothing like it

 anywhere around here."

 "I'd rather sell the girl," he murmured, "but the boat

 would fetch more. You're right about that, guv. I'm no

 yacht broker, but I'll do me best to strike us the best

 bargain obtainable."

 Teas DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 143

 "Mudge, with you doing the dealing, I know we'll

 come out well."

 The otter concluded a sale that very afternoon. Payment

 was made in gold. They left behind a delighted trader in

 ships and a wharfmaster greedily counting out his commis-

 sion. Jon-Tom had no regrets. He'd obtained the sloop for

 a song.

 By nightfall they were established in a clean, moderate-

 ly priced harborfront inn.

 "Wot now, mate?" Mudge dug into his dinner and

 talked around mouthfuls of food. Jalwar displayed refined

 table manners, while Roseroar ate with precision and

 unexpected delicacy. Folly gobbled down everything set

 before her and still finished well ahead of the others.

 Confident she could take care of herself, Jon-Tom parceled

 out a pocketful of coin and sent her off in search of attire

 more suited to her new surroundings.

 "We need to find out which way Crancularn lies," he

 told the otter as he sipped at his own tankard, "acquire

 sufficient supplies, and be on our way. Clothahump is

 waiting on us, and much as I'd like to, we can't linger

 here."

 "Ah'm ready fo some clean countryside," agreed Roseroar.

 "Ah've had enough o' the ocean to last me fo a while."

 "You're bound and determined to see this insanity

 through to the bitter end, aren't you, mate?"

 "You know that I am, Mudge. I gave my word."

 "I was afraid you'd say somethin' like that." He sighed,

 wiped gravy from his lips. "Wait 'ere."

 The otter vanished into the main dining room of the inn,

 returned moments later. He was not alone. With him was a

 finely coiffed orangutan. This individual was dressed in

 old but well-cared-for clothing. Lace ruffles billowed from

 collar and sleeves. His orange beard was trimmed short

 and he puffed on a long, curved pipe. One earring of silver

 and garnet dangled from his left ear.

 "So you weesh to traveel eenland?" There was an odd

 144

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 145

 lilt to his voice that reminded Jon-Tom of the other orang

 he'd met, the venerable Doctor Nilanthos of Lynchbany.

 That reminded him of the mugging victims the good doctor

 had worked on, and of the mugger, the flame-haired Talea.

 He forced his thoughts back to the present. Talea was far

 away.

 "That's right. We need a certain medicine."

 The primate nodded once. "Weel, you'll find no better

 place to seek eet than here een Snarken. Eet's the beegest

 city on the western shore of the Gleetergeist, and eef what

 you seek ees not to be found here, eet ees not to be found

 anywhere.''

 "You see, lad," said Mudge hopefully. "Wot did I tell

 you? Might as well start lookin' for 'is sorcerership's fix

 right 'ere."

 "Sorry, Mudge."

 "C'mon, mate. Couldn't we at least try a local chem-

 ist's shop?"

 "What ees thee problem, stranger?" asked the orang.

 The aroma drifting from the bowl at the end of the thin

 pipe was fragrant and powerful. Jon-Tom suspected it

 contained more than merely tobacco. Evidently the orang

 noticed Jon-Tom's interest, because he turned the pipe

 about. "Care for a heet?"

 Jon-Tom forced himself to decline. "Thanks, but not

 until we get this business straightened out."

 "Hey guv, 'ow about me?" Mudge eyed the pipe

 hungrily.

 "You were not offered," said the orang imperturbably.

 "The medicine we seek," Jon-Tom said hastily, before

 Mudge could comment, "is available only from a certain

 shop. In the town of Crancularn."

 The orang started ever so slightly, puffed furiously on

 his pipe. "Crancularn, ai?"

 "In the Shop of the Aether and Neither."

 "Weel now." The orang banged his pipe on the side of

 the table, knocking out the dottle while making certain not

 to stain his silk-and-satin attire. "I have neever been to

 Crancularn. But I have heard rumor of theese shop you

 seek. Some say eet ees no more than that, a device of the

 veelagers of theese town to breeng attention upon them-

 selves. Others, they say more."

 "But you've never been there," said Roseroar.

 "No. I don't know anyone who's actually been there.

 But I do know where eet ees supposed to lie."

 "Where?" Jon-Tom leaned forward anxiously.

 The orang lifted a massive, muscular arm and pointed

 westward. "There. That way."

 Mudge tugged irritably at his whiskers. "Precise direc-

 tions, why can't any of these helpful blokes we run into

 ever give us precise directions?"

 "Don't worry." The orang smiled. "Eef you want to

 find eet badly enough, you weel. People know where eet

 ees. They just don't go there, that's all."

 "Why not?"

 The orang shrugged, smacked thick lips around the stem

 of his pipe. "Beats mee, stranger. I've neever had the

 desire to go and find out. Thee fact that no one else goes

 there strikes mee as reeson enough not to go. Eef you are

 bound to go, I weesh you thee best of luck." He stepped

 back from the table. The main room of the inn's restaurant

 was jammed with diners now, and his table lay on the other

 side of the floor. He reached up, grabbed the nearest

 chandelier, and made his way across the ceiling gracefully,

 without disturbing any of the other customers.

 "It doesn't make any sense," Jon-Tom was muttering.

 "If no one knows of any specific danger in Cranculam,

 why doesn't anyone go mere?"

 "I could think of several reasons," said Jalwar thought-

 fully.

 "Can you really, baggy-nose?" said Mudge. "Why

 don't you enlighten us then, guv'nor?"

 "There may be dangers there mat remain little known."

 146

 Alas Dean Foster

 "He would have told us anything known," Jon-Tom

 argued. "No reason to keep it from us. What else, Jalwar?"

 "There may be nothing there at all."

 "I'll take Clothahump's word that there is. Go on."

 The ferret spread his hands. "This shop you speak of so

 hopefully. It may be less than you wish for. Many such

 establishments never live up to their reputations."

 "We'll find out," Jon-Tom said determinedly, "because

 no matter what anyone says, we're going there." His

 expression altered suddenly as he stared past the ferret.

 "Wot is it, mate?" asked Mudge, abruptly alert. "Wot

 do you see?"

 "Darkness. Nighttime. It's been night out for a long

 time. Too long. Folly should have returned by now."

 He whirled angrily on the otter. "Damn it, Mudge, did

 you...?"

 "Now 'old on a minim, mate." The otter raised both

 paws defensively. "I said my piece and you said you

 didn't want to sell *er. I wouldn't do anythin' like that

 behind your back."

 "If you were offered the right price you'd sell your own

 grandmother without her permission."

 "I never knew me grandmum, mate, so I couldn't guess

 at 'er worth, but I swears on me works that as far as I

 know the girl's done only wot you said she could do: gone

 tshoppin' for some respectable coverin' for that skinny

 naked body o' 'ers. Well, not all that skinny."

 Jon-Tom had a sudden thought, turned on the largest

 member of their party. "Roseroar?"

 The massive torso shaded the table as the tigress daintily

 set down half a roast lizard as big as the duar. She picked

 with maddening slowness at her teeth before replying.

 "Ah will pretend ah didn't heah that insult, suh. Ah

 think it's obvious enough what has happened."

 "What's obvious?" He frowned.

 "Why, you gave her some gold. As she told yo herself,

 you owe her nothing and she owes you little, since you

 THE DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 147

 turned down her offah to sell herself. It's cleah enough to

 me that she's gone off to seek her own fortune. We've

 given her her freedom. She held no love fo us and ah must

 admit the feelin's mutual."

 "She wouldn't think of it like that," Jon-Tom muttered

 worriedly. "She isn't the type."

 Mudge let out a sharp, barking laugh. "Now, wot would

 you know about 'er type, mate? I didn't know wot 'er

 'type' was, and I've forgotten more about women of more

 species than you'll ever think on."

 "She's just not the type, Mudge," Jon-Tom insisted.

 "This city's as new to her as it to us, and we're the only

 friends or security she's got."

 "A type like that," said Roseroar disdainfully, "can find

 friends wherevah she goes."

 "She just wouldn't run off like that, without saying

 anything. Maybe you're right, Mudge. Maybe she does

 want to strike off on her own, but she'd have told us first.''

 "Wot for?" wondered Mudge sarcastically. "To spare

 you from worryin' about 'er? Maybe she don't like long

 good-byes. Not that it matters. You've seen 'ow big this

 town is. Wot can we do about it?"

 "Wait until morning," Jon-Tom said decisively. "We

 can't do much without sleep, and it'll be good to sleep on

 something that doesn't roll and pitch."

 "Me sentiments exactly, mate."

 "In the morning we'll make some inquiries. You're

 good at making inquries, Mudge. Like finding that orang

 to tell us the way to Crancularn."

 "Cor, some 'elp > was." He pointed wildly backward.

 "That way! 'Ow 'elpftil! That may be the most I can find

 out about the girl. I don't know why you bother, mate. I

 thought the main thing was gettin' that dope back to

 Clothy-wothy."

 "Check on the girl first. She may be in some kind

 of trouble. I'll let her go her own way, but I want to make

 sure that's what she wants. I want her to say it to me."

 148

 Alan Dean Poster

 Mudge looked disgusted. "It's your funeral, mate. Just

 don't make it mine, too."

 They slept soundly. In the morning they began checking

 the clothing stores in the area. Yes, a girl of that descrip-

 tion had been into several of the shops and then had moved

 on. The trail halted abruptly at the eighth shop. Beyond it,

 Folly had not been seen.

 "Face it, mate, she's gone off on 'er lonesome."

 "One last try." Jon-Tom nodded toward the corner,

 where a pair of uniformed skunks were lounging. Civil

 patrol, just as in Lynchbany, where their particular anatomi-

 cal capabilities made them the logical candidates for the

 police service. It was simple for them to control an angry

 mob or recalcitrant prisoner through nonviolent means.

 Jon-Tom would much rather be beaten up.

 The cops turned as he approached, taking particular note

 of the heavily armed Roseroar.

 "Trouble, strangers?" one of the police inquired.

 "No trouble." Both striped tails relaxed, for which

 Jon-Tom was grateful. "We're looking for someone. A

 companion, human female of about mid-to-late adoles-

 cence. Attractive, blonde fur. She was shopping in this

 area last night."

 The cops looked at each other. Then the one on the left

 raised a hand over his head, palm facing the ground.

 "About so tall?"

 "Yes!" Jon-Tom said excitedly.

 "Wearing funny sort of clothes, dark blue pants?"

 "That's her!" Suddenly he remembered who he was

 talking to. "What happened to her?"

 "Not much, as far as I know. We were just coming on

 duty." He turned to gesture up a steep street. "Was about

 four blocks up that way, two to the left. She was out cold

 when we stumbled over her. Friend of yours, you say?"

 Jon-Tom nodded.

 "Well, we tried to bring her around and didn't have

 much luck. It was pretty plain what had happened to her.

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 149

 The pockets of her pants and blouse had been ripped open

 and she had a lump here," he touched his head near his

 left ear, "about the size of a lemon."

 "Somebody rolled 'er," said Mudge knowledgeably.

 "My fault," said Jon-Tom. "I thought she'd be okay."

 He stared at Mudge.

 "Hey, don't be mad at me, mate. I didn't slug 'er."

 "She kept saying she could take care of herself."

 "I thought 'er mouth was bigger than 'er brain," the

 otter commented sourly. "Take care o' 'erself, wot? Not

 by 'alf." He turned to the cop. "Wot 'appened to 'er,

 then?"

 "We relayed it in." He glanced at his partner. "Do you

 know what headquarters did with her afterwards?" The

 other skunk shrugged and the first looked thoughtful. "Let

 me think."

 "Hospital," Jon-Tom suggested. "Did they send her to

 a hospital?"

 "Not that bad a bump, stranger. She was half-conscious

 by the time we got her into the station. Kept moaning

 about her mother or something. She didn't have a scrap of

 identification on her, I remember that. Also kept mum-

 bling for someone named—" he fought to recall, "Pom-

 pom?"

 "Jon-Tom. That's me."

 "She couldn't tell us where you were... that sock on

 the head rattled her pretty good, I'd think... and the name

 meant nothing to us. Weird as it was, we thought she was

 still off her nut. Mid-adolescent, you said?" He nodded.

 "I thought she looked underage for a human. Now I

 remember what happened to her. Social Services took her

 in. Several groups put in a claim and the Friends of the

 Street won."

 "Yeah, that's right," said his partner. "I saw that on the

 report sheet."

 "Who are the Friends of the Street?" Jon-Tom asked,

 "Kind of like an orphanage, stranger," the cop explained.

 150

 Alan Dean Foster

 He turned and pointed. "They're up on Pulletgut Hill

 there. Never been there myself. No reason. But that's

 where she was taken. I expect she'll be okay. From what I

 hear it's a well-run, sober, clean place."

 Mudge put a consoling paw on Jon-Tom's arm. "See,

 mate? Tis all worked out for the best."

 "Yes," growled Roseroar. "Let's get on with this quest

 of yours, Jon-Tom. The girl's in the kind of place best

 suited to he I pin' her."

 Jon-Tom listened to all of them, surprised Jalwar by

 asking for his opinion.

 "Since you request the thoughts of a humble servant, I

 have to say that I agree with your friends. Undoubtedly the

 young woman is now among those her own age, being

 cared for by those whose business it is to succor such

 unfortunates. We should be about our business."

 Jon-Tom nodded. "You're probably right, Jalwar." He

 looked at Mudge and Roseroar. "You're probably all

 right." He eyed the senior of the two cops. "You're sure

 this is a decent place?"

 "The streets of Snarken are full of homeless youth. We

 bag 'em all the time. So there are many orphanages. Some

 are supported by taxes, others are private. If I remember

 aright, the Friends of the Street are among the private

 organizations."

 "Okay, okay," Jon-Tom grumbled, out-reasoned as well

 as outvoted.

 "So when do we leave, mate?"

 "Tomorrow morning, I suppose, if you think you can

 lay in enough supplies by tonight."

 "Cor, can a fish fry? Leave 'er to me, mate. You and

 the cat-mountain and the old bugger get yourselves back to

 the inn. Relax and suck in the last o' the sea air. Leave

 everythin' to ol' Mudge."

 Jon-Tom did so, and was rewarded that evening by the

 sight of not one but two large, comfortable wagons tied up

 outside the inn. They were piled high with supplies and

 THE DAY OF TOR DISSONANCE

 151

 yoked to two matched horned lizards apiece, the kind of

 dray animals who could handle smooth roads or rough

 trails with ease.

 "You've done well," Jon-Tom complimented the otter.

 Mudge appeared to be undergoing the most indescrib-

 able torture as he reached into a pocket and handed over

 three gold coins. "And 'ere's the change, mate."

 Jon-Tom hardly knew what to say. "I didn't think

 there'd be this much. You're changing, Mudge."

 "Please don't say anythin', mate," said the tormented

 otter. "I'm in pain enough as it is."

 "Did you ever think of setting yourself up as a legiti-

 mate merchant, Mudge."

 "Wot, me?" The otter staggered. "Why, I'd lose me

 self-respect, not to mention me card in the Lynchbany

 Thieves' Guild! It'd break me poor mother's 'eart, it

 would."

 "Sorry," Jon-Tom murmured. "I won't mention it again.

 Roseroar was giving the loads a professional inspection.

 "Ah take back everything ah said about yo, ottah. Yo've

 done a fine job o1 requisitionin'." She turned to Jon-Tom.

 "Theah's mo than enough heah to last us fo a journey of

 many months. He spent the gold well."

 Mudge executed a low bow. "Thanks, tall, luscious,

 and unattainable. Now 'ow about a last decent meal before

 we're back to eatin' outdoor cooking?" He headed for the

 inn entrance.

 Jon-Tom held back, spoke sheepishly. "Look, I under-

 stand how you all feel and 1 respect your opinions, and

 you're probably all right as rain and I'm probably wrong.

 I'll understand if you all want to go in and eat and go to

 bed, but I'm not tired. I know it doesn't make any sense,

 but I'm going up to this Friends of the Street place to

 make a last check on Folly."

 Mudge threw up his hands. " 'Umans! Now, wot do you

 want to go and waste your time with that for, mate? The

 girl's a closed chapter, she is."

 152

 Alan Dean Foster

 "A closed chapter," Jalwar agreed, "with a happy

 ending. Leave it be. Why aggravate yourself?"

 "I won't aggravate myself. It'll just take a minute." He

 plucked one string of his duar. "I owe her a farewell song

 and I want to let her know that we'll probably be coming

 back this way, in case she wants to see us or anything."

 "Pitiful," Mudge mumbled. "Plumb pitiful. Right then,

 mate, come on. Let's get it over with."

 "You don't have to come," Jen-Tom reminded him.

 "What about your big supper?"

 "It'll keep." He took the man's arm and urged him up

 the street. They climbed the first hill.

 "Look at it, mate. The night's as black as the inside of

 a process-server's 'eart." He stared up the narrow, winding

 avenue. "You sure we can find this place?"

 Jon-Tom nodded. "It's atop a hill. We can always ask

 directions. We're not helpless."

 "No," said a new voice, startling them, "not now

 you're not."

 "Roseroar... you're not hungry either?"

 "Ah've got a beilyfull of thunder," she shot back, "but

 ah figured ah'd better come along to make sure you two

 don't end up in an alley somewheres. Those muggahs may

 still be working this area."

 "We can take care of ourselves, luv," said Mudge.

 "Ah'm sure you can, but you can take better care o'

 yourselves with me around."

 Jon-Tom looked past her. She noticed the direction of

 his gaze. "Jalwah wanted to come, too, bless his heart,

 but there's climbing to do and he's more than a little worn

 out. He'll wait fo us and keep a watch on our supplies."

 "Fine," said Jon-Tom, turning and starring to climb

 again. "We'll be back soon enough."

 "Aye, right quick," Mudge agreed.

 But they were both wrong.

 x

 The Friends of the Street occupied a complex of stone-and-

 mortar buildings atop a seaward-facing hillside. It was

 located in an area of comfortable individual homes and gar-

 den plots instead of the slum Jon-Tom expected.

 "Whoever endowed this place," he told his companions

 as they approached the main entrance, "had money."

 "And plenty o' it," Mudge added.

 Several long, narrow, two-story structures were linked

 together by protective walls. Blue tile roofs gleamed in the

 moonlight. Dim illumination flickered behind a couple of

 windows, but for the most part the complex was dark.

 That wasn't surprising. It was late and the occupants

 should be in bed. Flowery wrought-iron trellises blocked

 the front doorway, but there was a cord to be pulled.

 Jon-Tom tugged on it, heard the faint echo of ringing from

 somewhere inside. Leaves shuffled in tall trees nearby. The

 thousand bright stars of Snarken electrified the shoreline

 far below.

 The door opened and a curious lady squirrel peeked out

 at them. She was elderly and clad entirely in black. Black

 lace decorated the cuffs of her sleeves. Hanging from her

 153

 154

 Alan Dean Poster

 gray neck was a single golden medallion on a gold chain.

 Several letters had been engraved on it, but they were too

 small for Jon-Tom to make out.

 "Yes, what is it?"

 "Are you the master of this orphanage?" Jon-Tom

 asked.

 "Me?" She did not smile. "No. What do you wish with

 the Headmaster?" She was watching Roseroar carefully.

 "Just a couple of quick questions." He put on his most

 ingratiating grin.

 "Office hours are from mid-morning to nightfall." She

 moved to shut the door.

 Jon-Tom took a step forward, still wearing his grin.

 "We have reason to believe that an acquaintance of ours

 was recently—" he searched for the right word, "enrolled

 at the orphanage."

 "You mean you don't know for certain?"

 "No. It would have been within the last day."

 "I see. Visiting hours are at nightfall only." Again the

 attempt to close the door, again Jon-Tom rushed to fore-

 stall her.

 "Please, ma'am. We have to depart on a long difficult

 journey tomorrow. I just want a moment to assure myself

 that your institution is as admirable on the inside as it is

 from without."

 "Well," she murmured uncertainly, "wait here. The

 Headmaster is at his late-eve devotions. I will ask if he can

 see you."

 "Thanks."

 The wait that ensued was long, and after a while he was

 afraid they'd been given a polite brushoff. He was about to

 use the bell-pull a second time when she reappeared

 trailing an elderly man.

 As always, Jon-Tom was surprised to see another human

 in a position of authority, since they didn't seem to be

 among the more prolific groups here. In Clothahump's

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 155

 world mankind was just one of dozens of intelligent

 species.

 The man was only a few inches shorter than Jon-Tom,

 which made him unusually tall for a local. With the

 exception of a radically different cut, his attire was identi-

 cal with that of the much smaller squirrel: all black with

 lace cuffs and the same golden medallion. He held his

 hands clasped in front of his chest. His gray hair was

 combed neatly back at sides and forehead. A gray goatee

 protruded from his chin, and he wore thin wire glasses

 with narrow lenses. To Jon-Tom he resembled a cross

 between Colonel Sanders and a contrabassoon.

 His smile and words both spoke of kindly concern,

 however. "Greetings. Welcome, strangers, to Friends of

 the Street." He gestured toward the squirrel. "Ishula tells

 me you have a friend among our flock?"

 "We think so. Her name's Folly."

 The Headmaster frowned. "Folly. I don't know that we

 have anyone staying with us by that... oh, yes! The young

 woman who was brought in the previous evening. She told

 us her terrible tale of being captured by pirates on the high

 seas. You are the ones she described as her rescuers, are

 you not?"

 "That's right."

 "To think that such awfulness is abroad in the world."

 The Headmaster shook his head regretfully. "The poor girl

 has endured more than any intelligent creature should

 suffer."

 Jon-Tom had to admit that so far all of his concerns and

 fears looked unjustified. Still, he couldn't leave satisfied

 without at least a fast look at the facilities.

 "I know it's late, and it's cold out here. We have to

 leave on a long trip tomorrow, as I told your assistant.

 Could we come in for a moment and have a look around?

 We just want to make sure that Folly's going to be well

 looked after. We place no claim on her and I'm sure she'll

 be much better off here than with us."

 156

 Alan Dean Foster

 "Why, certainly, do come in," said the Headmaster.

 "My name is Chokas, by the way. Ishula, the gate."

 The squirrel unlocked the iron grille as Jon-Tom made

 his own introductions.

 "Delighted, ah am sure," said Roseroar as she ducked

 through the opening.

 They found themselves in a long white hallway. Chokas

 led them down the tiled corridor, chatting effusively and

 not at all upset by their presence or the lateness of the

 hour. The squirrel trailed behind, occasionally pausing to

 dust a bench or vase with her tail.

 Jon-Tom made polite responses to the Headmaster's

 conversation, but he was only paying partial attention. The

 rest of him searched for indications of subterfuge or

 concealed maleficence. He was not rewarded.

 The corridor and the rooms branching off it were spot-

 less. Decorative plants occupied eaves and niches or hung

 in planters from the beamed ceiling. There were skylights

 to admit the warmth of day. Without being asked, Chokas

 volunteered a further tour of the Friends of the Street.

 Beginning to relax, Jon-Tom accepted.

 Padded benches paralleled clean tables in the dining

 room, and the kitchen was as shiny as the hallway.

 "We pride ourselves on our hygiene here," the Head-

 master informed him.

 The larder was filled to overflowing with foodstuffs of

 every kind, suitable for sustaining the energetic offspring

 of many races. Beyond, the reason for the interlocking

 architecture became apparent. It circled to enclose a

 broad courtyard. Play areas were marked out beneath

 several bubbling fountains, and tall trees shaded the grounds.

 Roseroar bent to whisper to him. "Come, haven't y'all

 seen enough? The girl will be well cared fo heah."

 "I have to admit it's not the kind of place I expected,"

 he confessed. "Hell, I'd be half-tempted to move in

 myself." He raised his voice as he spoke to the Headmas-

 ter. "Terrific-looking place you run here, Chokas."

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 157

 The man nodded his thanks. "We are privileged to serve

 as guardians and protectors of the homeless and those who

 have lost their way at a tender age. We take our responsi-

 bilities seriously."

 "What sort o' schooling do they get?" Roseroar asked.

 "Histories, geographies, mathematics, training in the

 social verities, domestic subjects such as cooking and

 sewing. Physical education. Instruction in discipline and

 courtesy. A well-rounded curriculum, we believe."

 "I've seen enough." Jon-Tom glanced toward the second-

 floor dormitories. "So long, Folly. It was interesting know-

 ing you. Have a full and happy life and maybe we'll meet

 again someday." He turned back toward the entry hall.

 "Thanks again for the tour, Chokas."

 "My pleasure. Please come visit us anytime, sir. The

 Friends of the Street encourages visitation."

 The front door closed quietly behind them, leaving the

 trio standing on the cobblestone avenue outside. Roseroar

 started down the hill.

 "That's done. Now we can get down to mo important

 business."

 "I admit she's better off here than with us," Jon-Tom

 said. "Certainly it's a more stable environment than any

 alternative we could come up with."

 "Hang on a minim, you two." Jon-Tom and Roseroar

 turned, to see Mudge inspecting the entrance.

 "What's the matter, Mudge?" Come to think of it,

 Jon-Tom hadn't heard a single comment from the otter

 during the tour. "I'd think that you, of any of us, would

 be anxious to get back to the inn."

 "That I am, mate."

 "Come on, then, ottah," said Roseroar impatiently.

 "Don't tell me you miss the cub? You liked her no mo

 than did ah."

 "True enough, mistress of massive hindquarters. I thought

 'er obstinate, ignorant, and nothin' but trouble, for all that

 she went through. Life's tough and I ain't me sister's

 158

 Alan Dean Poster

 THE DAY OF THE

 159

 keeper. But I wouldn't leave a slick, slimy salamander

 who'd ooze all over me in a place like this."

 "You saw something, Mudge?" Jon-Tom moved to

 stand next to him. "I thought it was neat, clean, and

 well-equipped."

 "Bullocks," snapped the otter. "We saw what they

 wanted us to see, nothin' more. That Chokas chap's as

 slick as greased owl shit and I'd trust 'im about as far as I

 can piss." He turned to face them both. "I don't suppose

 either o' you sharp-eyed suckers 'appened to note that there

 are no windows on the first floor anywheres facin' the

 streets?"

 Jon-Tom looked left, then right, and saw that the otter

 was correct. "So? I'm sure they have their reasons."

 "I'll bet they do. Notice also that all the second-story

 windows are barred?"

 "More decorative wrought iron," murmured Jon-Tom,

 his eyes roving over the upper floors.

 "Decorative is it, mate?"

 "This is a rough city," said Roseroar. "Orphans are

 vulnerable. Perhaps the bans are to keep thieves from

 breakin1 in and stealing youngsters to sell into slavery."

 "If that's the case then the 'Friends' of the Street 'ave

 done a mighty professional job o' protectin' their charges

 from the outside. Observe that none of these trees over-

 hang any part of any of the buildin's."

 That was true. A cleared expanse of street formed an

 open barrier between the nearest orchard and the outermost

 structures.

 "But what does all of it prove?" Jon-Tom asked the

 otter.

 "Not a bloody thing, mate. But I've been around a bit,

 and I'm tellin' you that my gut tells me somethin' 'ere

 ain't right. Me, I'd be curious to *ave a little chat with one

 or two o' the occupants without that piranha-faced squirrel

 o' our charmin' guide Chokas about. I've 'card descrip-

 tions o' orphanages, and this place makes the best o' them

 look like mat dungeon we fled in Malderpotty. That's wot

 bothers me, mate." He gazed up at the silent walls. "It's

 too sweet."

 "I'm not sure I follow you."

 "Look, guv. Cubs is dirty. They make filth the way I

 makes sweat. 'Tis natural. This place is supposed to be

 full o' cubs and it's as clean as milady's intimates."

 Roseroar spoke softly as she studied the barred upper

 windows. "Ah did think it uncommon neat fo such an

 establishment. Almost like a doctah's office."

 "You too, Roseroar?" Jon-Tom said in surprise.

 "Me too what? What the ottah says makes sense. Ain't

 no secret ah've little love fo the cub, but ah'd sleep easier

 knowin' she's been properly cared fo."

 "If you both feel that way, then we need to talk with her

 before we go." Jon-Tom started back for the entrance.

 Mudge held him by an arm.

 "Slow there, spellsinger. Ol' Chokas were friendly enough

 because we didn't ask no awkward questions or try to poke

 into places 'e didn't want us to see. If 'e'd wanted us to

 meet any o' 'is kids 'e'd 'ave brought 'em down to us. I

 don't think Vll be likely to accede to our little request."

 "He has a good reason. They're likely to all be asleep.

 It's late."

 "All of 'em?" wondered Mudge. "I doubt it. Wot about

 those offspring of the night-lifers? The gophers and the

 moles?"

 "Maybe they have separate quarters so they can be

 active at night without disturbing the others," Jon-Tom

 suggested. "If they're nocturnal, they wouldn't need lights

 in their rooms."

 "There'd still be some hint o' activity. Remember,

 mate, we're talkin' about a bunch o' young cubs."

 Jon-Tom chewed his lower lip. "It was awfully quiet in

 there, wasn't it?"

 "Like a tomb, mate. Tell you wot. Why don't you

 16O

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OP THE DISSONANCE

 161

 spellsing the lot o' them to sleep the way you did that

 bunch on the pirate ship?"

 "Wouldn't work. On the ship, everyone was within

 range of the duar and of my voice. Too many walls here."

 Mudge nodded. "Right then. My turn to perform a little

 magic."

 "You?"

 The otter grinned, his whiskers twitching. "You ain't

 the only master o' strange arts around 'ere, mate."

 They followed him around the side, until they were far

 from the entrance. As they walked Jon-Tom noted that no

 other doors were visible in the complex. There was only

 the single entrance. Still, there might be other doors

 around the back. And the Friends of the Street were not

 constrained by, say, the Los Angeles Fire Code.

 Mudge halted near a tree that grew closer to the build-

 ings than any of the others.

 "Now then, my petite purr-box, I 'ave a little job for

 you." He pointed up into the tree. "See that branch there?

 The second one up?" She nodded. "Can you climb up

 there and then climb out along it?"

 She frowned. "What foah? It won't hold man weight."

 "That's precisely the idea, luv."

 Jon-Tom immediateiy divined the otter's intent. "It's no

 good, Mudge. That branch'11 throw you headfirst into the

 wall. I'll end up with a furry Frisbee on my hands instead

 of a valuable friend."

 "Don't worry about me, guv. I knows wot I'm about.

 We otter folk are born acrobats. Most o' the time there's

 nothin' more to it than play, but we can get serious with it

 if we need too. Let me give 'er a try."

 "One try is all you'll get." He swing the duar around

 until it rested against his chest. "Why don't I try spell-

 singing you onto the roof?"

 Mudge looked unwilling. "That would work fine, wouldn't

 it, mate? With you standin' 'ere below these barred win-

 dows caterwaulin' fit to shiver a bat's ears."

 "Ah resent the comparison, watah rat." Roseroar ad-

 vanced up the tree trunk.

 Mudge shrugged. "Don't matter 'ow you describe it.

 You'd wake the 'ole place."

 "I could try singing quietly."

 'Aye, and likely catapult.. .sorry again, Roseroar.. .me

 into the middle o' some far ocean. No offense, mate, but

 you know well as I that there be times when your spellsmgin'

 don't quite strike the mark. So if it's all the same, I'd

 rather take me chances with the tree."

 "Thanks for the vote of confidence," Jon-Tom muttered.

 A glance showed Roseroar already crawling carefully out

 onto the chosen limb. "Go ahead, but I think you're

 nuts."

 "Why, guv, I didn't think me mental condition were a

 matter o' dispute anymore. An' the proof of it's that I'm

 standin' 'ere askin' you to let me catapult meself toward a

 stone wall instead o' lying in a soft bed somewhere back in

 the Bellwoods."

 He moved aside as the thick branch began to bend

 toward the ground beneath Roseroar. She kept crawling

 along it until she couldn't advance any more, then swung

 beneath and continued advancing toward the end of the

 limb hand-over-hand. Seconds later the leaves were brushing

 the street.

 Mudge nestled himself into a crook between two smaller

 branches near the end. "Wot's your opinion o' this, luv?"

 Roseroar had to use all her weight to hold the branch

 down. She studied the distant roof speculatively. "A lot to

 miss and little to land on. Wheah do y'all wish the remains

 sent?"

 "Two optimists I'm blessed with," the otter mumbled,

 "I thank the both o' you for your encouragin' words." He

 patted the wood behind him. "Wortyle wood. I thought

 she'd bend without breakin'. They make ship's ribs out o'

 this stuff." He glanced back at Roseroar. "Any time you're

 ready, lass."

 "Yoah sure about this?"

 162

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 163

 "No, I'm not, but I ain't doin' no good sittin' 'ere on

 me arse talkin' about it."

 "That ain't the part that's goin' to get smashed," she

 said as she stepped away from the quivering branch.

 The wortyle wood whipped upward so fast the air

 vibrated in its wake. Mudge was thrown with tremendous

 force into the night sky. The otter did a single flip and

 described an elegant arc as he began to descend.

 As it developed, his judgment was only slightly off. He

 didn't reach the roof, but neither did he smash into the side

 of the building. He fell only a little short.

 At first it looked as if he was going to land hard on the

 cobblestones, but at the last instant he grabbed with his

 right hand. Short, powerful muscles broke his fall as his

 fingers locked onto the iron grating barring one window.

 He hung there for a long moment, catching his breath.

 Then he reached up with the other hand and pulled himself

 on to the iron.

 His companions stood beneath the window, staring up at

 him. "Can you get in?" Jon-Tom asked softly.

 Mudge responded with a snort of contempt, fiddled with

 the grate. Seconds later a metallic click reached Jon-Tom

 and Roseroar.

 "He's very clevah, yo friend."

 "He's had a lot of experience with locks," Jon-Tom

 informed her dryly. Another click from above signified the

 opening of the window.

 They waited below, feeling exposed standing there on

 the otherwise empty, moonlit street. Minutes passed. A

 pink rope snaked down from the open window. Jon-Tom

 reached up to take hold of the chain of knotted bedsheets.

 "They'll support me," he told Roseroar. "I don't think

 they'll hold you."

 "Nevah mind. Y'all are just goin' to spend a few '

 minutes talkin' to the girl-cub anyways." She nodded

 toward the nearby grove. "Ah'll wait foah y'all up in the

 same tree. Ain't nobody goin' to spot me up theah. If I see

 anyone comin' this way and it looks tricky, I'll whistle

 y'all a warnin'."

 As she stood there in the pale light Jon-Tom was

 conscious of her strength and power, but her words struck

 him as odd. "I didn't know tigers could whistle."

 "Well, ah'll let ya'all know somehow." She turned and

 loped toward the trees.

 Jon-Tom braced his feet against the wall and pulled

 himself up. Mudge was waiting to help him inside.

 Jon-Tom found himself standing in near blackness. "Where

 are we?" he whispered.

 "Some sort o' storage closet, mate." Mudge's night

 vision was several cuts above his friend's.

 But as they moved cautiously through the darkness

 Jon-Tom's eyes adjusted to the weak illumination, and he

 was able to make out buckets, pails, piles of dust rags,

 curry combs, and other cleaning supplies. Mudge stopped

 at the door and tried the handle.

 "Locked from the other side." The otter hunted through

 the darkness, came back holding something that looked

 like an awl. He inserted it into the door lock and jiggled

 delicately. Though Jon-Tom heard nothing, the otter was

 apparently satisfied by some sound. He put the awl aside

 and pushed.

 The door opened silently. Mudge peered into a dark

 dormitory. Against opposite walls stood beds, cots, mats,

 and diverse sleeping stations for children of different

 species. On the far wall windows looked down into the

 courtyard with the trees and fountains. Unlike those on the

 outside, these were not barred.

 They tiptoed out of the closet and found themselves

 walking between rows of silent youngsters. All of them

 appeared to be neatly groomed and squeaky clean. There

 wasn't a hair or patch of fur out of place. The dormitory

 itself was comfortably cool and as spotless as the dining

 room and entry hall had been.

 164

 Alan Dean Poster

 "I don't see any indications of abuse here," Jon-Tom

 whispered as they went from bed to bed.

 Mudge was shaking his head doubtfully. "Too neat,

 mate. Too perfect." They reached the end of the long

 chamber without finding Folly. The door at the end was

 also locked from the outside. "And another thing, mate.

 Too many locks 'ere." He used the tool to pick it.

 Beyond was a short hall. A stairway led downward off

 the the left. Mudge picked the lock on the door across the

 hall and they entered a second dorm.

 Grunts and whistles and snores covered their footsteps

 as they commenced an inspection of the new group of

 beds. Halfway down the line they found Folly. Jon-Tom

 shook her gently awake. She rolled over, woke up.

 She was gasping with fright. There was no mistaking

 the look in her eyes, the tenseness of her body, the

 expression on her face. It reminded Jon-Tom a little of the

 look she'd display on the pirate ship whenever Corroboc

 appeared.

 As soon as she recognized him she threw her arms

 around him and started sobbing.

 "Jon-Tom, Jon-Tom. And Mudge too. I thought you'd

 forgotten me. I thought you'd go off and leave me here!"

 "I didn't forget you, Folly." Acutely conscious of her

 curves beneath the thin black nightdress, he gently pushed

 her away. "What's wrong?"

 She looked around wildly. "You've got to get me out of

 here! Quickly, before the night patrol shows up."

 "Night patrol? You mean, someone looks in on you?"

 "No, I mean patrol. No one's allowed out of bed after

 dark. If they catch you, they beat you. Bad. Not like

 Corroboc, but bad enough."

 "But we were here earlier, and we didn't see any

 indications of—"

 "Don't be a fool, mate," said Mudge tightly. "D'you

 think these servants o' the downtrodden would be stupid

 enough to hit their charges where it'd show?"

 "No, I guess not. They beat you here?"

 THE DAY or THK DISSONANCK

 165

 Folly spat on the floor. "Only out of love, of course.

 Every time they beat you it's out of love. They beat you if

 you don't learn your lessons, they beat you if you don't

 hold your knife right at mealtime, they beat you for not

 saying yes sir and no ma'am, and sometimes I think they

 beat you for the fun of it, to remind you how bad the

 world outside is." Her nails dug into his arms.

 "You've got to get me out of here, Jon-Tom!" How

 much truth there was to her accusations, he couldn't tell,

 but the desperation in her voice was genuine enough.

 Mudge kept a paw on the hilt of his short sword. "Let's

 make up our feeble minds, mate. Some o' these cubs are

 startin' to move around."

 "I'm awake." Jon-Tom turned to the bed next to Fol-

 ly's. It was occupied by a young margay. She sat up

 rubbing at her eyes. She wore the same black nightdress.

 "Is what Folly says true?" he asked the young cat.

 "Who...who are you?" asked the now wide-awake

 youngster. Folly hastened to reassure her.

 "It's okay. They're friends of mine."

 "Who're you?" Jon-Tom countered.

 "My name's Myealn." To his surprise she began to

 sniffle. He'd never seen a feline cry before. "Pu-please,

 sir, can you help me get away from this place, too?"

 Then he was being assailed by a volley of anxious

 whispers.

 "Me too, sir... and me... me also...!"

 The whole dorm was awake and crowding around Fol-

 ly's bed, pawing at the adults, pleading in a dozen dialects

 for help. Tails twitched nervously from the backsides of

 dozens of nightclothes, all black.

 "I don't understand," he muttered. "This looks like

 such a nice place. But it's not right if they beat you all the

 time."

 "That's not all they do," said Folly. "Haven't you noticed

 how perfect this place is?"

 "You mean, clean?"

 166

 Alan Dean Foster

 She shook her head. "It's not just clean. It's sterile.

 Woe unto any of us caught with a dirt smudge or piece of

 lint on us. We're supposed to be perfect at mealtime,

 perfect at study, and perfect at devotions, so we can be

 perfect citizens when we're old enough to be turned out

 on the street again.

 "A bunch of the supervisors here were raised here and

 this is the only home they know. They're the worst. We

 wear only black because a perfect person can't have any

 distractions and color is distracting. There're no distrac-

 tions of any kind. No dancing, no singing, no merriment at

 all. Maybe all the jokes the pirates told were brutal and

 crude, but at least they had a sense of humor. There's no

 humor in this place."

 Myealn had slipped out of her bed. Now she leaned

 close to Folly. "The other thing," she whispered urgently.

 "Tell them about the other thing."

 "I was getting to that." Nervously, Folly glanced at the

 doorway at the far end of the room. "Since a perfect

 person doesn't need silly things like merriment and pleas-

 ure, one of the first things they do here is make sure

 you're made perfect in that regard."

 Mudge frowned. "Want to explain that one, luv?"

 "I mean, they see to it that no pleasurable diversions of

 any kind remain to divert you from the task of becoming

 perfect." The otter gaped at her, then waved to take in the

 shuffling crowd of anxious, black-clad youngsters.

 "Wot a bloody 'ouse o' devils we stumbled into! You

 mean every one o' these... ?"

 Folly nodded vigorously. "Most of them, yes. The

 males are neutered and the females spayed. To preserve

 their perfection by preventing any sensual distractions.

 They're going to operate on me tomorrow."

 "Against your will?" Jon-Tom struggled to come to

 grips with this new, coldly clinical horror.

 "What could we do?" Myealn sobbed softly. "Who

 would object on our behalf? We're all orphans, none of us

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCK

 167

 even have guardians. And the Friends of the Street have a

 wonderful reputation with the people who run the city

 government because there's never any trouble here."

 ' 'And the Friends of the Street put model citizens back

 into the population," Folly added. "People who never

 give the city any trouble.

 Jon-Tom was so furious he was shaking. "If you got out

 of this place," he asked the trembling, altered youngsters,

 "where would you go?"

 Again a flurry of desperate pleas. "Anywhere.. anyplace

 ... the waterfront, I want to be a sailor.. I can sew, be a

 steamstress... I'm good with paints ... I want to be...!"

 He shushed them all. "We'll get you out. Somehow.

 Mudge, what about the dorm we came through? Can we

 risk going back that way with all these kids?"

 "Fuck the risk, mate." Jon-Tom had never seen the

 otter so mad. "Not only are we goin' back into the other

 dorm, we're goin' to break every cub out o' this pit o'

 abomination. Come on, you lot," he told them. "Quiet-

 like." Jon-Tom followed behind, making sure no one was

 left and shepherding them along like a giraffe among a

 flock of sheep.

 The hallway and the stairs were silent. Once in the other

 dorm those awake went from bed to bed waking their

 friends and explaining what was happening. When they

 were through, the center aisle was full of milling, anxious

 young faces.

 Mudge opened the door to the supply closet. At the

 same time the door at the other end of the dorm burst

 open. Standing in the opening was the powerful figure of a

 five-foot-tall adult lynx. Green eyes flashed.

 "What's going on in here?" He started in. "By the

 Eight Levels of Purity, I will have the hide off whoever is

 responsible!" Then he caught sight of Jon-Tom standing

 like a pale tower above the heads of the youngsters. "How

 did you get in here?"

 Jon-Tom faced him with a broad, innocent smile. "Just

 168

 Alan Dean Foster

 visiting. A little late, I know. Special dispensation from

 Chokas."

 "Just visiting be damned! Where's your pass? These are

 not visiting times."

 Jon-Tom kept smiling as the cubs crowded close around

 him. "Like I said, friend, it's a special occasion."

 The monitor carried a short, ugly black whip which he

 now drew back threateningly. "You're coming with me to

 see the Headmaster, whoever you are. I do not know how

 you got in here, or you either," he added as he espied

 Mudge, "but you are not leaving without making proper

 explanation. The rest of you," he roared, "back to your

 beds!"

 The youngsters milled around uncertainly. Many of

 them were starting to bawl.

 " 'Ere now, guv'nor, there's no reason to get upset."

 Mudge toddled toward him, smiling broadly.

 The whip cracked just in front of the otter's nose. The

 children started to scatter for their beds, whimpering loudly.

 "Now, hold on there, friend." Jon-Tom put his ramwood

 staff in front of his chest. "Let's be careful with that whip,

 shall we?"

 "Cute little gimcrack, snake master," said Mudge, still

 grinning and walking toward the monitor. The lynx eyed

 his approach warily.

 "That is far enough, trespasser. Take another step to-

 ward me and I'll have one of your eyes out."

 Mudge halted, threw up both hands and gaped at the

 lynx in mock horror. "Wot, and mar me perfection?

 Crikey, why would you want to muss up me perfect self?''

 He started to turn, abruptly leaped at the monitor.

 The lynx wasn't slow, but Mudge was a brown blur in

 the dim light. The whip snapped down and cut across the

 back of the otter's neck. Mudge's sword was faster still,

 slicing through the.whip handle just above the big cat's

 fingers.

 The monitor bolted for the open door. "Mudge, no!"

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 169

 Jon-Tom yelled, but Mudge didn't hear him in time. Or

 perhaps he did. The short sword spun end over end. It was

 the hilt that struck the lynx in the back of the head with a

 gratifyingly loud thump. The monitor dropped as if poleaxed.

 Jon-Tom breathed a sigh of relief. "Smart throw, Mudge.

 We don't need a murder complicating our departure."

 Mudge retrieved his sword. "That's right, mate, but I

 can't take the credit. I was tryin' to separate 'is 'ead from

 'is shoulders."

 "Quick now!" Jon-Tom instructed the youngsters as he

 headed for the storage closet. "Everyone out, before

 someone else shows up to check on you." He led them

 through the storage closet. "Don't push, everyone's going

 to get out... don't shove in the back...."

 Roseroar strained to see better as shadows moved against

 the open window. So far no one had appeared to spot the

 dangling rope of pastel linen, but it would take only one

 passing pedestrian to give the alarm.

 She expected to see Jon-Tom or Mudge or even the girl.

 What she did not expect to see was the silent column of

 cubs who began descending the sheets. Some species were

 built for climbing and climbed down quickly and graceful-

 ly, while others had a more difficult time with the descent,

 but all made it safely. She dropped clear of the tree and

 rushed toward the building. The cubs largely ignored her

 as they ran off in different directions, small dark shapes

 swallowed by the shadows.

 The prepubescent exodus continued for some time. Fi-

 nally Jon-Tom, Mudge, and Folly appeared at the open

 window.

 At the same time, lights began to wink on throughout

 the orphanage complex.

 XI

 So the otter's suspicions had been well founded, she

 decided. That was the only possible explanation for the

 mass escape in progress. She waited anxiously as Mudge

 slipped down the rope. Folly followed closely.

 Jon-Tom had just stepped through the window opening

 and was climbing over the iron grate when something

 whizzed past his head. It struck the street below. Roseroar

 picked it up, found herself inspecting a small club. The

 knobbed end was studded with nails. Not the kind of

 disciplinary device one would expect a dormitory supervi-

 sor or teacher to carry.

 The last fleeing cub vanished down a narrow alleyway.

 Within the orphanage, bells were clanging violently. Mudge

 reached the bottom of the rope and jumped clear. Folly

 slipped, fell the last five feet, and almost broke an ankle.

 The reason for her fall was clear; a pile of pink linen

 spiraled down on top of her.

 "Bloody 'ell!" The otter looked upward and cursed. "I

 'ad the other end tied to a bedpost. Someone must 'ave cut

 it." He could see Jon-Tom hanging on to the grating with

 one hand while trying to defend himself with his staff.

 170

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 171

 From within the storage closet outraged shouts were clear-

 ly audible down on the street. The grating creaked loudly

 as it bent on its hinges.

 "They'll 'ave 'im in a minute," the otter muttered

 helplessly, "if that old iron doesn't break free first."

 Neither happened. Someone inside the supply room

 jabbed outward with a spear. Jon-Tom leaned back to

 dodge the deadly point, lost his grip, and fell. The staff

 dropped from his fingers as he tumbled head over heels,

 wrapped up in his lizard skin cape. Folly screamed. Lesser

 wails came from dark shadows nearby as those few chil-

 dren who'd paused to catch their breath saw their benefac-

 tor fall.

 But there was no sickening thud of flesh meeting stone.

 Roseroar grunted softly. It was the only hint of any strain

 as she easily caught the plunging Jon-Tom in both arms.

 He pushed away the cape which had become wrapped

 around his head and stared up at her.

 "Thanks, Roseroar." She grinned, set him down gently.

 He adjusted his attire and recovered his staff. The duar,

 still slung across his back, had survived the fall unscathed.

 "'Ell of a catch, luv!" Mudge gave the tigress a

 complimentary whack on the rump, darted out of reach

 before her paw could knock him silly. There were several

 faces staring down at them from the open window, yelling

 and issuing dire promises. Jon-Tom ignored them.

 "Y'all okay?" Roseroar inquired solicitously.

 "Fine." He slung the cape back over his shoulders,

 brushed at his face. "If you hadn't caught me, Clothahump

 would have a longer wait for his medicine."

 "And y'all brought out the girl, ah see."

 Folly stepped toward her. "I am not a girl! I'm as

 grown-up as you are."

 Roseroar lifted her eyebrows as she regarded the skimp

 of a human. "Man deah, no one is as grown-up as ah

 am."

 "Depends on whether someone prefers quality to quantity."

 172

 Alan Dean Foster

 " 'Ere now, wot's all this?" Mudge stepped between the

 ladies. "Not that I mind if you two want to 'ave a go at

 each other. Just give me a ten-minute 'ead start before the

 fireworks commence, yes?" He gestured to his right. "I

 don't think now's the time for private digressions, though."

 At least a dozen black-clad adult shapes had appeared

 near the main entrance. Jon-Tom couldn't see if Chokas

 was among them, but he had no intention of hanging

 around to find out.

 They headed off in the opposite direction, and Jon-Tom

 saw they needn't worry about pursuit. The black-clad

 gestapo maintained by the Friends of the Street wasn't

 after them. They were fanning out toward the alleys and

 side streets in search of their escaped flock.

 Jon-Tom considered intercepting them. It was difficult

 , not to, but he had to tell himself that they'd done every-

 thing possible for the children. Most, if not all, of them

 ought to make it to the safety of the crowded city below,

 and he suspected they were wise enough to discard their

 incriminating b!ack-and-Iace night clothes at the first

 opportunity.

 One of their own was faced with the same dilemma.

 "You've got to get out of that nightdress, Folly," he told

 her. Obediently, she started to pull it over her head, and he

 hastened to restrain her. "No, no, not yet!"

 They were racing down a steep street that led back

 toward the harbor area. It had begun to drizzle. He was

 grateful for the rain. It should aid the fleeing children in

 their escape.

 "Why not yet?" Folly eyed him curiously. Curiosity

 gave way rapidly to a coy smile. "When you first saw me

 on Corroboc's boat I wasn't wearing anything but an iron

 collar. Why should my nakedness bother you now?"

 "It doesn't bother me," he lied. "It's raining and I

 don't want you contracting pneumonia.'' Citizens of Snarken

 out for an evening stroll watched the flight with interest.

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 173

 "I don't mind if you see me naked," she said innocently.

 "You like me a little, don't you, Jon-Tom?"

 "Of course I like you."

 "No, I mean you like me."

 "Don't be silly. You're still a child, Folly."

 "You don't look at me the way you'd look at a child."

 "She ain't built like no cub, mate."

 Jon-Tom glared over at the otter. "Stay out of this,

 Mudge,"

 "Excuse me, guv'nor. None o' me business, right?" He

 skittered along next to Roseroar, running fluidly on his

 stubby legs and trying to hide a grin.

 "I'm concerned for your welfare, Folly." Jon-Tom strug-

 gled to explain. "I don't like to see anyone taken advan-

 tage of. You noticed that we freed everyone from the

 orphanage and not just you."

 "I know, but you didn't come to free everyone. You

 came because I was there."

 "Of course. You're a friend, Folly. A good friend."

 "Is that all?" As she ran there was a lot of movement

 beneath the damp nightdress. Jon-Tom was having a diffi-

 cult time concentrating on the street ahead. "Just a good

 friend?"

 Roseroar listened with one ear to the infantile dialogue

 while trying her best to ignore it. Idiot humans! She made

 certain to inspect every side street they passed. Surely, as

 soon as the Friends of the Street finished rounding up as

 many escapees as they could, they'd contact the police

 about the break-in.

 Besides worrying about that new problem, she had to

 endure the banalities mouthed by the adolescent human

 female who was flirting shamelessly with Jon-Tom.

 So what? She considered her discomfiture carefully.

 Why, she asked herself, should she find such harmless

 chatter so aggravating? Admirable the spellsinger might

 be, but he wasn't even a member of a related species. Any

 relationship besides mutual respect and strong friendship

 174

 Alan Dean Poster

 was clearly out of the question. The very thought was

 absurd! The man was a skinny, furless thing less than half

 her size. It made no sense for her to concern herself with

 his personal business.

 She assured herself her interest was only natural. Jon-

 Tom was a friend, a companion now. It was just as he'd

 said to the girl: it hurt to see anyone taken advantage of.

 Roseroar wasn't about to let this scheming adolescent take

 advantage of him. And take advantage of him Folly

 would, if given half a chance. Roseroar was sure of that

 much. She shook her head as Jon-Tom allowed himself to

 be smothered with verbal pap, astonished at the naivete

 displayed during courtship by the human species. She'd

 thought better of him.

 She ignored it for as long as she could, until she was

 unable to stand the veiled remarks and coy queries any

 longer.

 "Ah think we can slow down some now." Jon-Tom and

 Mudge agreed with her. Everyone slowed to a fast walk.

 Roseroar moved close to the girl. "And ah also think it

 would be a good ideah if we all kept quiet foah a while.

 We don't want to attract any undue attention. In addition

 to which, if ah'm forced to listen to any moan o' yoah

 simperin', girl, ah may vomit."

 Folly eyed the tigress. "Something bothering you?"

 "Nothin' much, little female. It's just that ah have a

 great respect foah the language. Hearin' it used so foolishly

 always upsets mah digestion."

 Folly turned to Jon-Tom. She flashed blue eyes and

 blonde hair in the reflected light from storefronts and street

 lamps. Her skin, wet with drizzle, sparkled.

 "Do you think I'm talking foolish, Jon-Tom?"

 "Maybe just a little, yes."

 She responded with a much practiced and perfectly

 formed pout. Roseroar sighed and turned away, wondering

 why she went to the trouble. The spellsinger had shown

 himself to be a man of intelligence and insight. It dis-

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 175

 tressed her to see him so blatantly manipulated. She

 increased her stride so she wouldn't have to listen to

 any more of it.

 "You don't like me," Folly murmured to Jon-Tom.

 "Of course I like you.

 "I knew you did!" She turned and threw her arms

 around him, making him stagger. "I knew you liked me!"

 "Please, Folly." Jon-Tom reluctantly worked to disen-

 gage himself. Roseroar would have been happy to help,

 though she might have broken both of the girl's arms in

 the process. "Folly, I already have a woman." Her expres-

 sion fell abruptly. She moved away from him, once more

 concentrating on the street ahead.

 "You never told me that."

 "It was never necessary to tell you. Her name's Talea.

 She lives near a town called Lynchbany, which lies far

 across the Glittergeist."

 Otter ears overheard and Mudge fell back to join them.

 "O' course, she ain't really 'is woman," he said con-

 versationally, thoroughly delighting in Jon-Tom's discom-

 fort. "They're just friends is all."

 Folly's delight returned upon hearing this disclosure.

 "Oh, that's all right, then!"

 "Besides, you're much too young for what you're

 thinking," Jon-Tom told her, impaling Mudge with a stare

 promising slow death.

 "Too young for what?"

 "Just too young." Strange. The right words had been

 there on his lips just a moment earlier. Odd how they

 vanished the instant you needed them.

 "Bet I could convince you otherwise," she said

 coquettishly.

 "Here's the right cross street," he said hastily, lengthening

 his stride. "We'll be back at the inn in a couple of

 minutes."

 A short furry shape jumped from an alcove ahead of

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 Alan Dean Foster

 him. Roseroar reached for her swords. Folly hid behind

 Jon-Tom as Mudge put a hand to his bow.

 They relaxed when the shape identified itself.

 "Jalwar!" Jon-Tom couldn't conceal his surprise. "What

 are you doing out here?" He tried to see past the ferret.

 The oldster put a finger to his lips and beckoned for

 them to follow. They crept along behind him, turned down

 a long narrow alley. It was ripe with moldering garbage.

 Jalwar pointed to the main street beyond.

 Both of their heavily laden wagons were still hitched to

 the rails outside the inn. Idling around the wagons were at

 least two dozen uniformed skunks and civet cats from

 Snarken's olfactory constabulary. Several well-dressed ci-

 vilians lounged next to the front wagon and chatted amia-

 bly with the officer in charge of the cops.

 Jalwar drew back into the shadows. "I saw them ar-

 rive," he whispered. "Many have stayed outside with our

 wagons. Others went upstairs searching for us. I was

 drinking and overheard in time to sneak away. I listened

 when they came back down and talked to others and to the

 innkeeper." The ferret's gaze shifted from Jon-Tom to

 Mudge. "They were talking about you."

 "Me?" Mudge squeaked, suddenly sounding defensive.

 "Now, why would they be talkin' about me?"

 "Because," Jalwar replied accusingly, "it seems you

 spent some time playing at dice with several of them."

 "So wot's wrong with a friendly little game o' dice.

 Blimey, you'd think one o' them caught me in the sack

 with 'is bleedin' daughter."

 It came to Jon-Tom in a rush: the finely fashioned

 wagons, the handsome dray animals, the new harnesses,

 the mountainous stock of supplies.

 "Mudge ..." he said dangerously.

 The otter retreated. There was little room to maneuver

 in the alley, a fact he was acutely conscious of.

 "Now, mate, take it easy. We needed them supplies,

 now, didn't we? Tis in a good cause, ain't it? Think o' 'is

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 177

 poor sickly wizardship lyin' and waitin' for us way back in

 Lynchbany and all the folks who need 'im well and 'ealthy

 again."

 "How did you manage it, Mudge? How did you cheat

 so many of them at the same time?"

 "Well, we otter folk are known for our quickness, and

 I've always been quick as any."

 "Y'all must've been a little too quick this time."

 Roseroar peered toward the inn. "Judgin* from the number

 o' police about, ah'd say you defrauded moah than a few

 idle sailors."

 "Wouldn't be much point in defrauding poor folks,

 now, would there, luv? Wot we got from sellin' the ship

 weren't near enough to buy supplies an' equipment for a

 proper expedition, but 'twere plenty to buy me into a

 handsome game o' chance with a few leadin' citizens."

 "Fat lot of good those supplies do us now," Jon-Tom

 muttered.

 Jalwar was rummaging through a pile of broken crates.

 "Here." He dragged out their backpacks. "I was able to

 throw these from our rooms while they were still searching

 for us below. It was all I had time to save."

 Jon-Tom wiped grime from his own pack. "Jalwar,

 you're a wonder. Thanks."

 "A small service, sir." Jon-Tom didn't bother to correct

 the ferret anymore. Let him say "sir" if it pleased him. "I

 only wish I could have informed you sooner, but I could

 not follow your path quickly enough." He smiled apologeti-

 cally. "These aged legs of mine."

 "It wouldn't have mattered. We were occupied with

 saving Folly."

 "What now?" Roseroar wondered as she hefted her

 own massive pack.

 Jon-Tom considered. "We can't hang around here. Now

 the cops have two reasons for picking us up. They might

 go easy on us over the Friends of the Street business, but

 not about this. For one thing, that officer in charge is a

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 Alan Dean Foster

 little too chummy with the citizens Mudge cheated. I'm

 not anxious to tour the inside of Snarken's prison."

 "Give me a break, mate," whined the otter. "If you

 'adn't been so set on goin' after "er"—he pointed toward

 Folly—"we'd 'ave cleared this dump 'ours ago." He

 glared disgustedly at the girl. "I blame meself for it,

 though. Should've kept me concerns to meself." He added

 hopefully, "We could still sell 'er."

 "No." Jon-Tom put an arm around her shoulders. "Fol-

 ly stays with us until we can find her a safe haven."

 "I could suggest something," she murmured softly. He

 moved his. arm.

 "Right then," he said briskly. "No point in hanging

 around here waiting for the cops to find us." He started

 back the way they'd come. Mudge followed, kicking at the

 garbage.

 "Suits me, mate. Looks now like we're goin' to 'ave to

 walk all the way to this bleedin' Crancularn. Might as well

 get going. Only don't let's go spend the 'ole trip bJamin'

 poor oP Mudge for the fact that we ain't ridin' in comfort."

 "Fair enough. And you don't blame me for this." So

 saying, he booted the otter in the rump so hard it took

 Roseroar's strength to extract him from the pile of barrels

 where he landed.

 They slunk out of Snarken on foot—tired, anxious, and

 broke. Mudge grumbled every step of the way but ac-

 knowledged his mistake (sort of) by assuming the lead. It

 was also a matter of self-defense, since it kept him well

 out of range of Jon-Tom's boot.

 Mudge also partly redeemed himself by returning from

 one short disappearance with an armful of female clothing,

 a bit of doubtful scavenging which Jon-Tom forced himself

 to rationalize.

 "Lifted it from a drunken serval," the otter explained as

 Folly delightedly traded her black nightdress for the frilly

 if somewhat too-small attire. "The doxy I took it off won't

 miss it, and we've need of it."

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 179

 They moved steadily through the city's outskirts. By the

 time the sun rose over the horizon to illuminate the now

 distant harbor, they were crossing the highest hill west-

 ward. There they traded some goods from Jon-Tom's pack

 for breakfast at a small inn, as he wanted to try and

 hold on to their three remaining gold pieces for an emer-

 gency. Midday saw them far from the city, hiking between

 rows of well-tended fruit trees.

 Mudge was rubbing his belly. "Not bad for foreign

 cookin', mate."

 "No, but we're going to have to eat lightly to conserve

 what money we have left."

 "We could sell the girl's favors."

 "Not a bad idea," Jon-Tom said thoughtfully.

 Mudge looked at him in surprise. "Wot's that? You

 agrees?''

 "Sure, if it's okay with her." He called ahead. "Hey,

 Roseroar! Mudge here has a suggestion about how you can

 help us raise some cash."

 "No, no, no, mate!" said the suddenly panicky otter.

 "I meant the girl, the girl."

 Jon-Tom shrugged. "Big girl, little girl, what's the

 difference?" He started to call out to the tigress a second

 time. Mudge slammed a muffling paw over Jon-Tom's

 mouth, having to stand on tiptoes to manage it.

 "Okay, guv'nor. I get your point. I'll keep me ideas to

 meseif."

 "See that you do, or I'll repeat your suggestion to

 Roseroar."

 "I'd deny 'avin' anything to do with it."

 "Sure you will, but who do you think she'll believe, me

 or you?"

 "That'd be a foul subterfuge, mate."

 "In which inventions I have an excellent teacher."

 Mudge wasn't flattered by the backhanded compliment.

 They marched steadily westward. As the days passed the

 character of the country grew increasingly rural. Houses

 180

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 181

 were fewer and far between. Semitropical flora made way

 for coniferous forest that reminded Mudge of his beloved

 Bell woods. The palms and thin-barked trees of the coast

 fell behind them.

 They asked directions of the isolated travelers they

 encountered. All inquiries were met with expressions of

 disbelief or confessions of ignorance. Everyone seemed to

 know that Crancularn lay to the west. Exactly where to the

 west, none were able to say with certainty.

 Besides, there was naught to be found in Crancularn but

 trouble, and the country folk had no need of more of that.

 They were busy enough avoiding the attentions of Snarken's

 predatory tax collectors.

 In short, Crancularn was well-known, by reputation if

 not by sight, and that reputation was not enticing to

 potential visitors.

 Two days after the road had become a mere trail, they

 settled down to enjoy the bright sunshine. A clear stream

 followed the track, tumbling glassily on its course down to

 the now distant Glittergeist. An octet of commune spiders

 were busy building a six-foot-square web between two

 trees. They would share equally in any catch.

 Jon-Tom studied the pinecone that had fallen near his

 feet. It was Jong and slim, and the scales shone like

 bronze. Mudge had slipped out of his boots and was

 wading the stream, wishing it were deep enough for him to

 have a swim, while Jalwar had wandered into the woods in

 search of berries and edible roots to supplement their

 meager diet. Roseroar catnapped beneath an evergreen

 whose trunk grew almost parallel to the ground, while

 Folly, as always, stayed as close to Jon-Tom as he would

 allow.

 "Don't look so discouraged," she said. "We'll get

 there."

 Jon-Tom was picking at the cone, tossing the pieces into

 the stream and watching the little triangular brown boats

 until they disappeared over slick stones.

 "How can we get there if nobody can give us direc-

 tions? 'West' isn't good enough. I thought it would be

 easy once we got out of Snarken. I thought at least a few

 of the country folk would know the way to Crancularn.

 From what Clotharmmp told me, this store of the Aether

 and Neither is supposed to be pretty famous."

 "Famous enough to avoid," Folly murmured.

 "Some of them must be lying. They must be. I can't

 believe not a soul knows the way. Why won't they tell

 us?"

 Folly looked thoughtful. "Maybe they're concerned and

 want to protect us from ourselves. Or maybe none of them

 really do know the way."

 "Mebbee they don't know the way, boy, because it

 moves around."

 "What?" Jon-Tom looked back to see an old chipmunk

 standing next to a botherbark bush. He pressed against the

 small of his back with his left paw and gripped the end of

 a curved cane with the other. Narrow glasses rested on the

 nose, and an ancient floppy hat nearly covered his head

 down to the eyes. A gray shirt hung open to the waist,

 and below he wore brown dungarees held up by suspend-

 ers. He also had very few teeth left.

 "What do you mean, it moves around?" Roseroar

 looked up interestedly and moved to join them. The

 chipmunk's eyes went wide at the sight and Jon-Tom

 hurried to reassure him.

 "That's Roseroar. She's a friend."

 "That's good," said the chipmunk prosaically. Mudge

 turned to listen but was reluctant to abandon the cool

 water.

 The oldster leaned against the tree for support and

 waved his cane. "I mean, it moves around, sonny. It never

 stays in the same place for very long."

 "That's crazy," said Folly. "It's just another town."

 "Oh, it's a town, all right, but not like any other, lass.

 Not Crancularn." He peered out from beneath the brim of

 182

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 183

 his hat at Jon-Tom. "Why thee want to go there, tall

 man?"

 "We need something from there. From a store."

 The chipmunk nodded. "Aye, the Shop of the Aether and

 Neither."

 "Then you've heard of it!" Jon-Tom said excitedly.

 "We need something, a certain medicine, that can only be

 purchased in that store."

 The oldster grunted, though it came out as more of a

 rusty squeak. "Well, that's thy business."

 "Please, we've come a long way. From across the

 Glittergeist. We need directions. Specific directions."

 Another grunt-squeak. "Long way to come to make

 fools of thyselves."

 "It's not for us. A friend of mine, a teacher and a great

 wizard, is very sick and badly needs this medicine. If you

 can tell us how to get to Crancularn, we'll pay you,

 somehow."

 The oldster shook his head sadly. "I'd tell thee if I

 could, boy, but I can't help you. I don't know where

 Crancularn is." Jon-Tom slumped. "But there's them that

 do. Only, I wouldn't be the one to go asking them."

 "Let us worry about that," said Jon-Tom eagerly. "Who

 are they?"

 "Why, the enchanted ones, of course. Who else?"

 "Enchanted ones?"

 "Aye, the little people of the magic. The fairy folk. You

 know."

 Folly's eyes were wide with childlike wonder. "When I

 was a little girl, I used to hear stories of the fairy folk. My

 mother used to tell me." She went very quiet and Jon-Tom

 tried to rush the conversation to take her thoughts off more

 recent memories.

 "Where would we find these fairy folk?" The thought

 of meeting real honest-to-Tinker Bell fairies was enough to

 motivate him. Getting directions to Crancularn would be a

 bonus.

 "I wouldn't advise anyone to risk such an encounter,

 sonny, but I can see that thee art determined." He indicat-

 ed the steep slope behind them. "They hide in the wet

 ravines and steep canyons of these hills, keeping to them-

 selves. Don't much care for normal folk such as us. But

 thee art human, and it is said that they take human form.

 Perhaps thee will have better luck than most. Seek the

 places where the water runs deep and clear and the rocks

 are colored so dark they are almost black, where the moss

 grows thick above the creeks and..."

 " 'Ere now, grandpa." Mudge spoke from his rocky seat

 out in the stream. "This 'ere moss, it don't 'ave^no mental

 problems now, do it?"

 The chipmunk frowned at him. "How could mere moss

 have mental problems?"

 Mudge relaxed. Their near-disastrous experience in the

 Muddletup Moors was still fresh in his mind. "Never mind."

 The chipmunk gave him an odd look, turned back to

 Jon-Tom. "Those are the places where thee might encoun-

 ter the fairy folk. If thee must seek them out."

 "It seems we've no choice." Rising, Jon-Tom turned to

 inspect the tree-fringed hillside.

 The elderly chipmunk resumed his walk. "I wish thee

 luck, then. I wish thee luck. Thee will need it to locate the

 enchanted ones, and thee will need it even more if thee

 do."

 The ridge above gave way to a heavily wooded slope on

 the far side that grew progressively steeper. Soon they

 were fighting to maintain their balance as they slipped and

 slid down the dangerous grade.

 At least, Jon-Tom and Roseroar were. With their inher-

 ent agility and lower centers of gravity, Jalwar and Mudge

 had no difficulty at all with the awkward descent, and

 Folly proved lithe as a gibbon.

 A stream ran along the bottom of the narrow gorge. It

 was broader than the one they'd left behind, but not deep

 enough to qualify as a river. Moss and many kinds of ferns

 184

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 185

 clung to logs and boulders. Insects hummed in the cool,

 damp air while dark granite and schist soaked up the rays

 of the sun.

 They spent most of the day searching along the creek

 before deciding to move on. An insurmountable waterfall

 forced them to climb up the far side of the gorge. They

 topped the next ridge, climbed down still another slope

 where they camped for the night.

 By the afternoon of the following day they were explor-

 ing their fourth such canyon. Jon-Ton was beginning to

 think that the fairy folk were a myth invented by an

 especially garulous old rodent to amuse himself at the

 expense of some gullible travelers.

 They were finishing up a late meal when Mudge suddenly

 erupted from his seat on a thick patch of buttery yellow

 flowers. His bark of surprised pain echoed down the creek.

 Everyone jumped. Roseroar automatically reached for

 her swords. Folly crouched ready to run while Jalwar's fur

 bristled on his neck. Jon-Tom, who was more familiar

 with the otter's overreactions, left his staff alone.

 "What the hell bit you?"

 Mudge was trying to inspect his backside. "SometmV

 sure as 'ell did. 'Ere, Folly, be a good girl and see if I'm

 bleedin'?" He turned to her and bent slightly.

 She examined the area dominated by the short, stubby

 tail and protected by leather shorts. "I don't see anything."

 " 'Ave a close look."

 "You fuzzy pervert." She gave him a look of disgust as

 she moved away.

 "No, really. Not that I deny the accusation, luv, but

 somethin' took a chunk out o' me backside for sure,"

 "Liar! What would I do with a chunk of you?"

 The voice was high but firm and came from the vicinity

 of the flowerbed. Jon-Tom crawled over for a close look,

 searching for the source of the denial.

 Tiny hands parted the stalks, which were as yellow as

 the thick-petaled flowers, and he found himself staring at

 something small,  winged,  feminine,  and drastically

 overweight.

 "I'll be damned," he murmured. "A fat fairy."

 "Watch your mouth, buster," she said as she sort of

 lumbered out lightly until she was standing on a broken

 log. The log was brown with red longitudinal stripes

 running through the bark. "I know I've got a small

 personal problem, and I don't need some big-mouthed

 human reminding me of the fact."

 "Sorry." Jon-Tom tried to sound contrite. "You are a

 fairy, aren't you? One of the enchanted folk?"

 "Nah," she snapped back, "I'm a stevedore from

 Snarken."

 Jon-Tom studied her closely. Her clothing resembled

 wisps of spun gossamer lavender candy. A miniature tiara

 gleamed on her head. Long hair trailed below her waist.

 The tiara had been knocked askew and covered one eye.

 She grunted as she struggled to straighten it. In her right

 hand she clutched a tiny gold wand. Her wings were

 shards of cellophane mottled with thin red stripes.

 "We were told," Folly said breathlessly, "that you

 could help us."

 "Now, why would I want to do that? We've got enough

 problems of our own." She stared at Jon-Tom. "That's a

 nice duar. You a musician, bright boy?"

 "'e's a spellsinger, and a right powerful one, too,"

 Mudge informed her. "Come all the way from across the

 Glittergeist to fetch back medicine for a sick sorcerer."

 "He's a right powerful fool," she snapped. She sat

 down heavily on the log, her legs spread wide in a most

 casual and unladylike manner. Jon-Tom estimated her to

 be about four inches high and almost as wide.

 "I'm called Jon-Tom." He introduced his companions.

 An uneasy silence ensued and he finally asked, "What's

 your name?"

 "None of your business."

 "Come on," he said coaxingly. "Whether you help us

 186

 Alan Dean Foster

 or not is up to you, but can't we at least be polite to one

 another?"

 "What's this? A polite human? That doesn't make any

 sense, bald-body." She shrugged. "What the hell. My

 name's Grelgen. Want to make something of it?"

 "Uh, no." Jon-Tom decided he was going to have to

 tread very carefully with this pint-size package of enchanted

 belligerence.

 "Smart answer. You got anything to eat?"

 Jalwar started to rummage through his pack. "I think

 we have some snake jerky, and there are a few hard rolls."

 "Ptui!" She spat to her right. "I mean real food. Fruit

 tarts, cream cups, nectar custard, whipped honey rolls."

 Jon-Tom said carefully, "I think I am beginning to see

 what your problem is."

 "Oh, you are, are you, fungus-foot? You think every-

 thing's cut and dried, don't you? It's all so obvious to

 you." She was pacing now, back and forth atop the log,

 waving her tiny hands to punctuate her words.

 "Say, you can't fly, can you?"

 She turned to face him. "Of course I can fly, dumbutt."

 She wiggled her diaphanous wings. "What do you think

 these are for? Air-conditioning?"

 "All right, then let's see you fly. Come on, fly."

 "Feh! You'd think I didn't have anything better to do

 than put on a show for a bunch of pituitary freaks."

 "You can't fly!" Jon-Tom said triumphantly. "That's

 your big problem. You've gotten so..."

 "Watch it, jack," she said wamingly.

 "... so healthy that you can't lift off anymore. I wouldn't

 think it would make a difference. A bumblebee's too heavy

 for flight, but it manages, and without enchantment."

 "I'm a fairy, one of the enchanted folk," Grelgen

 informed him, speaking as one would to an idiot child.

 "Not a bumblebee. There are structural, aerodynamic, and

 metabolic differences you wouldn't understand. As for

 problems, you're the ones who are stuck with the biggie."

 THE DAT OF THK DISSONANCE

 187

 She stabbed the wand at Mudge. "That turkey tried to

 assassinate me!"

 Mudge gaped in surprise. "Wot, me? I did nothin* o'

 the kind, your shortness."

 "You sat on me, rat-breath."

 "Like 'ell I did! You crawled underneath me. Anyways,

 'ow was I supposed to see you or anything else under all

 them flowers?"

 Grelgen crossed her arm. "I was sitting there minding

 my own business, having a little afternoon snack of nectar

 and pollen, and you deliberately dropped your rat-butt

 right on top of me."

 "You expect me to inspect every patch o' ground I sit

 down on?"

 "In our lands, yes."

 "We didn't know it were your lands." Mudge was fast

 losing patience with this infinitesimal harridan.

 "Ah-/ia! So, a casual assassin. The worst kind." She

 put two fingers to her lips and let out a sharp, piercing

 whistle. Jon-Tom listened admiringly. The sound was loud

 enough to attract an empty cab from two blocks down a

 Manhattan street.

 What it did attract, from beneath mushrooms and flow-

 ers, from behind moss beds and tree roots, was a swarm of

 enchanted folk, several hundred of them. A few carried

 wands resembling Grelgen's, but most hefted miniature

 bows and arrows, crossbows, and spears. Jon-Tom put a

 hand out to restrain Roseroar from picking up her swords,

 even though the tigress weighed more than all the enchanted

 folk combined.

 "Magic," he whispered warningly.

 Roseroar yielded, but not to his admonition. "Magic or

 no, the tips of then: weapons are moistened. I suspect

 poison. An ungallant way to fight."

 "I guess if you're four inches tall you have to use every

 advantage you can think of."

 Jalwar moved close, whispered to him. "Move carefully

 188

 Alan Dean Poster

 THE DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 189

 here, spellsinger, or we may vanish in an arrogant conjura-

 tion. These folk have a deserved reputation for powerful

 magic."

 "That's how I figure it," he replied. "Maybe they're

 not all as obnoxious or combative as our friend there."

 "What's that, what did you say?"

 "I said," he told Grelgen, "that it's nice of you to

 invite us to meet all your friends and relatives."

 "When one of us is threatened, buster, all spring to the

 rescue."

 Jon-Tom noted that none of the fairies surrounding them

 were in any condition to fly. Every one of them waddled

 about with obvious difficulty, and the slimmest was a

 candidate for the enchanted branch of Weight Watchers.

 "You're our prisoners," she finished.

 "I see," said Mudge. "And wot if we decide not to be

 your prisoners?"

 "Then you'll be dead," she assured him unpleasantly.

 .   Mudge studied the array of glistening little weapons.

 " 'Ospitable folk, wot?"

 "Watch 'em," said Grelgen to her relations. She turned

 and sauntered to the end of the branch, hopped off, and

 landed with a wheeze in the grass below. There she entered

 into a mumbling conversation with several other wand-

 bearers. Most of them were clad only in rags and tatters.

 Mudge would have to sit on someone of importance,

 thought Jon-Tom angrily. The conference broke up mo-

 ments later.

 "This way," said one of the other armed fairies, gestur-

 ing upstream. Surrounded by miniuscule guards, they were

 marched off up the creek.

 "You sure you didn't see her, Mudge?" Jon-Tom asked

 the otter.

 "Would I 'ave been stupid enough to sit on 'er if I 'ad,

 mate? Use your 'ead. It were those bloody flowers."

 "You weren't looking, then," Jon-Tom said accusingly.

 "So I weren't lookin*. Should I 'ave been lookin'?"

 "No, I guess not. It's nobody's fault."

 "Pity I didn't flatten 'er," the otter murmured, careful

 to keep his voice down.

 "It might not have mattered, sir," Jalwar murmured.

 "The fairy folk are known for their resilience."

 "I can see that," said Mudge, studying their obese

 escort. "The one with the mouth looks like she could

 bounce."

 "Be quiet," said Jon-Tom. "We're in enough trouble

 already. She'll hear you."

 "Damned if I care if she does, guv." The otter had his

 hands shoved in his pockets and kicked disgustedly at

 pebbles as they walked along the side of the creek. "If she

 ain't got common sense to see that—"

 A paw the size of his head covered his mouth and,

 incidently, most of his face. "Watch yo mouth, ottah,"

 Roseroar told him. "Yo heard Jon-Tom. Let's not irritate

 these enchanted folk any moah than we already have."

 "I'd like to irritate 'em," said the otter when she'd

 removed her paw. But his voice had become a whisper.

 The stream narrowed. Canyon walls closed in tight

 around the marchers, all but shutting out the sun. Trees

 and bushes grew into one another, forming a dense,

 hard-to-penetrate tangle. The captives had to fight their

 way through the thickening undergrowth.

 Dusk brought them to the outskirts of the enchanted

 folk's village. In appearance it was anything but enchanted.

 Tiny huts and homes were scattered around a natural

 amphitheater. Evidence of disrepair and neglect abounded.

 Some of the buildings were falling down, and even those

 cut into massive tree roots had piles of trash mounded up

 against the doorways. To Jon-Tom all this was clear proof

 of a loss of pride among the inhabitants.

 Tiny lights flickered to life behind many of the miniature

 windows, and smoke started to curl from minute chim-

 neys. Off to one side of the community a circular area was

 surrounded by a stone wall pierced by foot-high archways.

 190

 Alan Dean Poster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 191

 The six-inch high wall ended at both ends against a sheer

 cliff of gray granite.

 The four captives filled this arena. Once they were

 inside the insignificant walls, Grelgen and two other fairies

 stood within the archways waving their wands and murmuring

 importantly. When the invocation was finished, she stepped

 back and retreated toward the village with her cronies.

 Folly took a step toward the minuscule barrier and tried

 to step over. She gasped and drew back as if bitten,

 holding her right hand.

 "What is it?" Jon-Tom asked anxiously.

 "It's hot. The air's hot."

 Experimentally, Jon-Tom waved at the emptiness above

 the tiny stone wall. An invisible wall of flame now

 enclosed them. He shook his hand and blew on his fingers

 to cool them, deciding they weren't going to blister.

 Escape wouldn't be easy.

 Roseroar sighed and settled herself on the hard ground.

 "An ironic conclusion to yoah expedition, Jon-Tom. Cap-

 tured and imprisoned by a bunch of disgruntled, not to

 mention uncouth, enchanted folk."

 "Don't be so quick to give up. They may decide to let

 us go yet. Besides," he swung his duar around, "we have

 magic of our own."

 Mudge looked imploringly heavenward. "Why me, wot?"

 "I do not know that spellsinging will work against the

 fairy folk, sir," said Jalwar. "In my travels I have heard

 that they are immune to all forms of magic except their

 own. It may be that yours will have no effect on them, and

 may even be turned against you."

 "You don't say." Jon-Tom's fingers fell from the duar's

 strings, together with what remained of his confidence. "I

 didn't know that."

 "It may not be so, but it is what I have heard many

 times."

 "We'll hold it as a last resort, then."

 "Wot difference does it make, mate? 'Alf the time it

 backfires on you anyhows. If it doubles back on us I

 wouldn't want it to 'appen while I'm stuck in this clearin'."

 "Neither would I, Mudge." He looked out toward the

 winking lights of the village. "We may not have any

 choice. They don't seem much inclined to listen to reason."

 "I think they're all crazy," commented Folly.

 In the fading light she looked healthy and beautiful. The

 impermanent bruises and scars Corroboc had inflicted on

 her were healing fast. She was resilient, tough, and grow-

 ing more feminine by the day. She was also making

 Jon-Tom increasingly uneasy.

 He turned to Mudge, saw the otter standing as close as

 possible to the invisible barrier enclosing them.

 "What's up, Mudge?"

 The otter screwed up his face, his whiskers twitching.

 "Can't you smell it, too, mate? Garbage." He nodded

 toward the town. "It's everywhere. Maybe they're enchanted,

 but that's not the word I'd use to describe their sewage

 system."

 "Ah saw their gardens when we came in," said Roseroar

 thoughtfully. "They appeahed to be untended."

 "So fairy town's gone to hell," Jon-Tom murmured.

 "Something's very wrong here."

 "Wot difference do it make to us, mate? We 'ave our

 own problems. Dealin' with 'Er Crossness, for one thing."

 "If we could figure out what's wrong here," Jon-Tom

 argued, "maybe we could ingratiate ourselves with our

 captors."

 "You ingratiate yourself, mate. Me, I'm for some sleep."

 Jon-Tom didn't doubt that the otter could sleep on the

 bare rock. If Mudge were tossed out of a plane at twenty

 thousand feet, the otter could catch twenty winks before

 awakening to open his parachute. It was a talent he often

 envied.

 "Sleeping won't solve our problem."

 "It'll solve me immediate one, mate. I'm pooped."

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 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 193

 "Perhaps yoah magic will work against the enchanted

 folk," Roseroar said hopefully.

 "I don't know." Jon-Tom tapped the wood of the duar,

 was rewarded with a melodious thumping sound. The

 moon was shining down into the narrow defile, illuminat-

 ing the dense woods surrounding them. "I'm going to hold

 off till the last possible moment to find out."

 The tigress was slipping out of her armor and using it to

 make a crude pillow. "Ah don't know." She rested her

 massive head on black and white paws. "It seems to me

 that we're already theah."

 Grelgen and the rest of the fairy council came for them

 in the morning. Their principal nemesis had changed into a

 flowing gown of orange chiffon. The bright pastel attire

 had not softened her disposition, however.

 "We've been considering what to do with you bums

 most of the night," she informed them brusquely.

 Jon-Tom stretched, pushed at his tower back, and wished1,

 he'd had the sense to use Roseroar for a cushion. He was

 stiff and sore from spending the night on the hard ground.

 "All I can tell you is that we're innocent of any charges

 you discussed. So what are you going to do now?"

 "Eat," she informed him. "Talk more later."

 "Well now, I could do with a spot o' breakfast!" Mudge

 tried to muster some enthusiasm. Maybe Jon-Tom was right

 after all, and these cute little enchanted bastards were finally

 going to act in a civilized manner. "Where do we eat?"

 "Wrong pronoun," Grelgen said. She turned to point

 with her wand.

 Jon-Tom followed it into the brush. What the poor light

 of evening had kept hidden from view was now revealed

 by the bright light of day. Up the creek beyond the town,

 thick peeled branches spanned a shallow excavation. The

 firepit showed signs of recent use.

 Mudge saw it, too, and his initial enthusiasm vanished.

 "Uh, wot's on the menu, luv?"

 "Fricasseed water rat," she told him, with relish.

 "Wot, me?" Mudge squeaked.

 "Give the main course a bottle of elf dust. What better

 end for a guilty assassin?"

 Up till now Jon-Tom had considered their predicament

 as nothing more than a matter of bad communication. This

 new vision of a bunch of carnivorous fairies feasting on

 Mudge's well-done carcass shoved everything over the

 edge into the realm of the surreal.

 "Listen, you can't eat any of us."

 Grelgen rested pudgy hands on soft hips. "Why not?

 Jon-Tom struggled for a sensible reply. "Well, for one

 thing, it just doesn't fit your image."

 She squinted sideways at him. "You," she said decisively,

 "are nuts. I'm going to have to consult with the Elders to

 make sure it's okay to eat crazy people."

 "I mean, it just doesn't seem right. What about your

 honey rolls and custards and like that?"

 Grelgen hesitated. When she spoke again, she sounded

 slightly embarrassed.

 "Actually, you're right. It's only that every once in a

 while we get this craving, see? Whoever's unlucky enough

 to be in the neighborhood at the time ends up on the

 village menu." She glanced over at Folly and tried to

 regain some of her former arrogance. "We also find it

 helpful now and then to bathe in the blood of a virgin."

 Folly digested this and collapsed, rolling about on the

 ground while laughing hysterically. Grelgen saw the tears

 pouring down the helpless girl's cheeks, grunted, and

 looked back over a shoulder. Jon-Tom followed her gaze.

 On the far side of fairy town a bunch of muscular,

 overweight enchanted folk were sliding an oversized wooden

 bowl down a slope. At the sound of Grelgen's voice they

 halted.

 "Right! Cancel the bathing ceremony!"

 Cursing under their breath, the disappointed bowl mov-

 ers reversed their efforts and began pushing their burden

 back into the bushes.

 194

 Alan Dean Foster

 T

 THE DAY OF TBE DISSONANCE

 195

 "So you think it's funny, do you? Right then, you're

 first on the fire instead of the water rat."

 That put a clamp on Folly's laughter.

 "Why her?" Jon-Tom demanded to know.

 "Why not her? For one thing she's already depelted."

 "Oh, no you don't." Folly braced herself against the

 bare granite wall, as far from Grelgen as she could get.

 "You just try and touch me! I'll squash you like a bug."

 Grelgen looked disgusted, waved her wand almost

 indifferently, and whispered something under her breath.

 Folly leaped away from the wall, clutching her backside.

 The stone had become red-hot.

 "Might as well resign yourself to it, girl," said Grelgen.

 "You're on this morning's menu and that's all there is to

 it. If there's anything that gets my gall it's an uncooperative

 breakfast."

 "Please," Jon-Tom pleaded with her, dropping to his

 knees to be nearer eye level with their tormentor. "We

 mean you no harm. We only came into your lands to ask

 you for some information."

 "Sorry. Like I said, we've got the craving, and when it

 comes upon us we've got to have meat."

 "But why us?" Mudge asked her. "These woods must

 be full o' lizards and snakes enough to supply your 'ole

 village."

 "Food doesn't wander into our custody," she snapped at

 him. "We don't like hunting. And the forest creatures

 don't stage unprovoked assaults on our person."

 "Blimey," Mudge muttered. "'Ow can such small

 'eads be so bloomin' dense? I told you that were an

 accident!"

 Grelgen stared silently at him as she tapped one tiny

 glass slipper with her wand. Jon-Tom absently noted that

 the slipper was three sizes too small for her not-so-tiny

 foot.

 "Don't give me any trouble. I'm in a disagreeable mood

 as it is." She whistled up a group of helpers and they

 started through one archway toward Folly. Her initial

 defiance burned out of her, she hid behind Roseroar.

 Jon-Tom knew that wouldn't save her.

 "Look," he said desperately, trying to stall for time as

 he swung the duar into playing position and tried to think

 of something to sing, "you said that meat isn't usually

 what you eat, that you only have this craving for it

 occasionally?"

 "What about it?" Grelgen snapped impatiently.

 "What do you eat normally? Besides what you told me

 earlier."

 "Milk and honey, nectar and ambrosia, pollen and sugar

 sap. What else would fairy folk eat?"

 "So that's it. I had a hunch." A surge of hope rushed

 through him.

 "What's it?" she asked, frowning at him.

 He sat down and crossed his legs, set the duar aside. "I

 don't suppose there are any professional dieticians in the

 village?''

 "Any what?"

 "No, of course not. See, all your problems are diet-

 related. It not only explains your unnatural craving for

 protein, it also explains your, uh, unusually rotound fig-

 ures. Milk's okay, but the rest of that stuff is nothing but

 pure sugar. I mean, I can't even imagine how many

 calories there are in a daily dose of ambrosia. You proba-

 bly use a lot of glucose when you're flying, but when you

 stop flying, well, the problem only compounds itself."

 One of the Elder fairies waiting impatiently behind

 Grelgen now stepped forward. "What is this human raving

 about?"

 Grelgen pushed him back. "It doesn't matter." She

 turned back to Jon-Tom. "What you say makes no sense,

 and it wouldn't matter if it did, because we still have our

 craving." She started to aim her wand at the trembling

 Folly. "No use in trying to hide, girl. Step out here where

 I can see you."

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 THE DAY OF TOR DISSONANCE

 197

 Jon-Tom leaned sideways to block her aim. "Wait!

 You've got to listen to me. Don't you see? If you'd only

 change your eating habits you'd lose this craving for

 protein."

 "We're not interested in changing our eating habits,"

 said another of the Elders. "We like nectar and honey and

 ambrosia."

 "All right, all right!" Jon-Tom said frantically. "Then

 there's only one way out. The only other way to reduce

 your craving for protein is for you to start burning off all

 these extra ounces you've been accumulating. You've got

 to break the cycle." He picked up the duar.

 "At least give me a chance to help you. Maybe I can't

 do it with spellsinging, but there are all kinds of magic."

 "Consider carefully, man," Grelgen warned him. "Don't

 you think we're aware that we have a little problem? Don't

 you think we've tried to use our own magic to solve it?"

 "But none of you is a spellsinger."

 "No. That's not our kind of magic. But we've tried

 everything. We're stuck with what we are. Your spellsinging

 can't help us. Nothing can help us. We've experimented

 with every type of magic known to the enchanted folk, as

 well as that employed by the magic-workers of the greater

 world. We're trapped by our own metabolisms." She

 rolled up her sleeves. "Now let's get on with this without

 any more bullshitting, okay?" She raised the wand again.

 "Just one chance, just give me one chance!" he pleaded.

 She swung the wand around to point it at him, and he

 flinched. "I'm warning you, buster, if this is some sort of

 trick, you'll cook before her."

 "There's one kind of magic I don't think you've tried."

 She made a rude noise. "Worm dung! We've tried it

 all."

 "Even aerobics?"

 Grelgen opened her mouth, then closed it. She turned to

 conference with the Elders. Jon-Tom waited nervously.

 Finally she stuck her head out of the pile and inquired

 almost reluctantly, "What strange sort of magic is this?"

 Jon-Tom took a deep breath and rose. Putting aside the

 duar, he began stripping to the waist.

 Roseroar came over to whisper in his ear. "Suh, are yo

 preparin' some trick ah should know about? Should ah be

 ready with mah swords?"

 "No, Roseroar. No tricks."

 She shrugged and moved away, shaking her head.

 Jon-Tom started windmilling his arms, loosening up.

 Grelgen immediately retreated several steps and raised

 the wand threateningly. "All you need is to learn this

 magic," he said brightly. "A regular program of aerobics.

 Not only will it reduce your unnatural craving for protein,

 it should bring back your old aerodynamic figures."

 "What does that mean?" asked one of the younger

 fairies.

 "It means we'll be able to fly again, stupid," replied

 one of the Elders as he jabbed the questioner in the ribs.

 "Fly again." The refrain was taken up by the rest of the

 crowd.

 "It's a trick!" snapped Grelgen, but the weight of

 opinion (so to speak) was against her.

 "All right." She tucked her wand under one arm and

 glared up at Jon-Tom. "You get your chance, man. If this

 is a trick to buy time, it better be good, because it's going

 to be your last one."

 "It's no trick," Jon-Tom assured her, feeling the sweat

 starting to trickle from beneath his arms. And he hadn't

 even begun yet.

 "Look, I'm no Richard Simmons, but I can see we need

 to start with the basics." He was aware he had the

 undivided attention of several hundred sets of eyes. He

 took a deep breath, thankful for the morning runs which

 kept him in decent condition. "We're going to start with

 some deep knee-bends. Hands on hips... watch those

 198

 Alan Dean Foster

 Tarn DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 199

 wings, that's it. Ready." He hesitated. "This would work

 better if we had some music."

 Grelgen grunted, turned, and barked a command. There

 was a brief delay. Several small figures made their way

 through the enchanted mob and took up positions atop the

 stone wall. Each carried a delicate instrument. There were

 a couple of flutes, a set of drums, and something that

 resembled a xylophone which had been in a bad traffic

 accident.

 "What should we play?" piped one of the minuscule

 musicians.

 "Something lively."

 "A dance or roundelet?" They discussed the matter

 among themselves, then launched into a lively tune with

 faintly oriental overtones. Jon-Tom waited until he was

 sure of the rhythm, then smiled at his attentive if uncertain

 audience.

 "Ready? Let's begin! Imitate me." He dipped. "Come

 on, it's not hard. One, two, three, and bend; one, two,

 three, and bend;... that's it!"

 While Jon-Tom's companions looked on, several hun-

 dred fairy folk struggled to duplicate the human's move-

 ments. Before too long, groans and moans all out of

 proportion to the size of the throats they came from filled

 the air.

 Grelgen was gasping and sweating. Her orange chiffon

 gown was soaked. "You're sure that you're not actually

 trying to murder us?"

 "Oh, no." Jon-Tom was breathing a little hard himself.

 "See, this isn't an instantaneous kind of magic. It takes

 time." He sat down and put his hands behind his neck,

 wondering how far he could go before Grelgen gave up.

 "Now, this kind of magic is called sirups. Up, down, up,

 down ... you in the back there, no slacking, now... up,

 down..."

 He worried constantly that Grelgen and her colleagues

 would become impatient before the new exercise regimen

 had time to do its work. He needn't have worried. The

 enchanted folk took weight off as rapidly as they put it on.

 By the second day the most porcine of the villagers could

 boast of shrunken waistlines. By the third the effects were

 being felt by all, and by the fourth even Grelgen could stay

 airborne for short flights.

 "I don't understand, mate," said Kludge. "You said it

 'tweren't magic, yet see 'ow quick-like they're shrinkin'

 down!"

 "It's their metabolic rate. They burn calories much

 faster than we do, and as soon as they get down to where

 they can fly again, the burning accelerates."

 The results were reflected in Grelgen's changing atti-

 tude. As the exercises did their work, her belligerence

 softened. Not that she became all sweetness and light, but

 her gratitude was evident.

 "A most wondrous gift you have given us, man. A new.

 kind of magic." It was the morning of the fifth day of their

 captivity and a long time since any of the enchanted folk

 had suggested having one of their guests for supper.

 "I have a confession to make. It's not magic. It's only

 exercise."

 "Call it by whatever name you wish," she replied, "it

 is magic to us. We are starting to look like the enchanted

 folk once more. Even I," she finished proudly. She did a

 deep knee-bend to prove it, something she couldn't have

 imagined doing five days earlier. Of course, she did it

 while hovering in midair, which made it somewhat easier.

 Still, the accomplishment was undeniable.

 "You are free to go," she told them.

 Roseroar stepped forward and cautiously thrust out a

 paw. The invisible wall of fire which had kept them

 imprisoned had vanished, leaving behind only a little

 lingering heat. The tigress stepped easily over the tiny

 stone wall.

 "Our gratitude is boundless," Grelgen went on. "You

 said you came to us for help." She executed a neat little

 2OO

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 2O1

 pirouette in the air, delighting in her rediscovered mobility.

 "What is it you wish to know?"

 "We need directions to a certain town," he told her. "A,

 place called Crancularn."

 "Ah. An ambiguous destination. Not mine to

 why. Wait here." She flew toward the village, droning

 a wasp, and returned several minutes later with four newh

 slimmed Elders. They settled on the wall. Between them,

 the four Elders held a piece of parchment six inches

 square. It was the biggest piece of writing material the

 village could produce.

 "Crancularn, you said?" Jon-Tom nodded at her.

 She rolled up the sleeves of her burgundy-and-lime

 dress, waved the wand over the parchment as she spoke.

 The parchment twisted like a leaf in the wind. It continued

 to quiver as a line of gold appeared on its surface, tracing

 the outlines of mountains and rivers, trails, and paths.

 None of them led directly toward the golden diamond that

 shone brightly in the upper-lefthand corner of the parchment.

 Grelgen finished the incantation. The parchment ceased

 its shaking, allowing the concentrating Elders to relax their

 grip. Jon-Tom picked the freshly inscribed map off the

 grass. It was warm to the touch. One tiny spot not far from

 a minor trail fluoresced brightly.

 "The glow shows you where you are at any time,"

 Grelgen informed him. "It will travel as you travel. Hold

 fast to the map and you will never be lost." She rose on

 diaphanous wings to hover near his shoulder and trace over

 the map with her wand. "See? No easy journey from here

 and no trails directly to the place."

 "We're told Crancularn moves about."

 "So it does. It has that characteristic. But the map will

 take you there, never fear. This is the cartography of what

 will be as well as of what is. A useful skill which we

 rarely employ. We like it where we are."

 Jon-Tom thanked her as he folded the map and slipped it

 carefully into a pocket of his indigo shirt.

 Grelgen hovered nearby. "Tell me, man. Why do you

 go to Crancularn?"

 "To shop for something in the Shop of the Aether and

 Neither." She nodded, a grave expression on her tiny face.

 "We've heard many rumors," he went on. "Is there

 something dangerous about the shop?"

 "Indeed there is, man. Included among its usual in-

 ventory is a large supply of the Truth. That is something

 most travelers seek to avoid, not to find. Beware what

 purchases you make. There are bonuses and discounts to

 be had in that place you may not find to your liking."

 "We'll watch our step," he assured her.

 She nodded solemnly. "Watch your hearts and souls as

 well. Good luck to you, man, and to your companions.

 Perhaps if you return by a similar route we can show you

 the Cloud Dance." She looked wistful. "I may even

 participate myself."

 "Dancing in the air isn't as difficult as dancing on the

 ground," said Folly.

 Grelgen grinned at her. "That depends on what you're

 doing in the air, infant." With great dignity she pivoted

 and led the four Elders back to the village.

 They were free, Jon-Tom knew, and so again were the

 enchanted folk.

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 203

 XII

 The map led them out of the narrow defile that was the

 enchanted canyon. Music and rhythmic grunts followed

 them as they left behind a village full of fairies aerobicizing

 like mad. Grelgen had a long way to go before she looked

 like Jane Fonda but she was determined to out perform her

 subjects, and Jon-Tom didn't doubt she had the willpower

 to do so.

 Several days' march through game-filled country brought

 them over the highest mountain pass and down onto the

 western slopes. Despite Grelgen's insistence that the jour-

 ney the rest of the way to Cranculam would not be easy,

 they were beginning to relax. Since leaving behind the

 enchanted village they had encountered no dangerous ani-

 mals or sapients, and food was plentiful.

 Ahead lay the desert. Jon-Tom felt certain they could

 cross it in a couple of days. AH was well.

 No more bad dreams bothered him, and he awoke

 refreshed and at ease. Fallen leaves had made a comfort-

 able, springy bed. They were now back into deciduous

 forest, having left most of the evergreen woods behind.

 He pushed his cape aside. A few wisps of smoke still

 202

 rose from the remains of last night's fire. Roseroar snored

 softly on the far side of the embers while Mudge dozed

 nearby. That in itself was unusual. Normally the otter

 woke first.

 Jon-Tom scanned the rest of the camp and sat up fast.

 "Jalwar? Folly!"

 The woods did not answer, nor did anyone else.

 He climbed to his feet, called again. His shouts roused

 Mudge and Roseroar.

 "Wot's amiss, mate?"

 Jon-Tom gestured at the campsite. "See for yourself."

 Mudge inspected the places where the missing pair had

 slept. "They aren't off 'untin' for breakfast berries. All

 their gear's gone."

 "Could they have been carried off?" Jon-Tom muttered.

 "Why would anybody bother to sneak in softly and steal

 that pair away while leavin' us snug and in dreamland?"

 Roseroar said. "Makes no sense."

 "You're right, it doesn't. So they left on their own, and

 with a stealthiness that implies premeditation."

 "What?" she growled in confusion.

 "Sorry. My legal training talking. It means they planned

 to sneak out. Don't ask me why."

 "Which way would they go?"

 "Maybe there's a town nearby. I'll check the map." He

 reached into his pocket, grasped air. A frantic, brief search

 proved that the map was well and truly gone.

 "Mudge, did you... ?"

 The otter shook his head, his whiskers bristling in anger.

 "You never gave it to me, guv'nor. I saw you put it up

 yourself." He sighed, sat down on a rock, and adjusted his

 cap, leaning the feather down at its usual rakish angle.

 "Can't say as 'ow I'm surprised. That Corroboc might

 'ave been a class-one bastard, but 'e knew wot 'e were

 about when *e named that girl."

 "ArTve been suspicious of her motives from the begin-

 204

 Alan Dean Foster

 ning," Roseroar added. "We should have sold the little

 bitch in Snarken, when we had the chance."

 Jon-Tom found himself staring northwestward, through

 the thinning forest toward the distant desert. "It doesn't

 make sense. And what about Jalwar? He's gone, too, and

 that makes even less sense. How can he get anywhere

 without our help and protection?"

 Mudge came and stood next to his friend, put a comforting

 paw on his shoulder. "Ah, lad. 'Ave you learned so little

 o' life since you've been in this world? Who knows wot

 old Jalwar promised the girl? 'E's a trader, a merchant.

 Obviously 'e made 'er a better offer than anything we 'ave.

 Maybe 'e were bein' marooned on that beach by 'onest

 folk 'e'd cheated. This ain't no world for takin' folks on

 faith, me friend. For all we know Jalwar's a rich old

 bugger in 'is 'ome town."

 "If he wanted Folly to help him, why would they take

 the map? They wouldn't need it to retrace the trail back to

 Snarken."

 "Then it's pretty clear they ain't 'eadin' for Snarken,

 mate." He turned and stared down the barely visible path.

 "And we ought to be able to prove it."

 Sure enough, in the dew-moistened earth beyond the

 campsite the two sets of footprints stood out clearly, the

 small, almost dainty marks of Jalwar sharp beside Folly's

 sandalprints. They led downslope toward the desert.

 " Tis plain wot they're about, mate. They're 'eading

 for Crancularn. That's why they stole the map."

 "But why? Why not go theah with the rest of us?"

 Roseroar was shaking her head in puzzlement.

 "You're as dense as 'e is, luv. Ain't it plain enough yet

 to both of you? Jalwar's a trader. They're goin' to try and

 buy up the 'ole supply o' this medicine 'is sorcerership

 needs so badly and 'old it for ransom." He stared at

 Jon-Tom. "We told the old fart too much, mate, and now

 'e's bent on doin' us dirty."

 THE DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 2O5

 "Jalwar, maybe..." Jon-Tom mumbled unhappily, "but

 I can't believe that Folly..."

 "Why not, mate? Or did you think she were in love

 with you? After wot she went through, she's just lookin'

 out after 'erself. Can't blame 'er for that, wot?"

 "But we were taking care of her, good care."

 Mudge shrugged. "Not good enough, it seems. Like I

 said, no tellin' wot old Jalwar promised 'er in return for

 'elpin' Mm."

 "What now, Jon-Tom?" asked Roseroar gently.

 "We can't turn back. Map or no map. I suppose we

 could go back to the village of the enchanted folk and get

 another one, but that would put us weeks behind them. We

 can't lose that much time if Mudge's suspicions are correct.

 They'd beat us to the medicine easily. I studied that map

 pretty intensively after Grelgen gave it to us. I can remember

 some of it."

 "That ain't the 'ole of it, mate." Mudge bent and put

 his nose close to the ground. When he stood straight again,

 his whiskers were twitching. "An otter can follow a scent

 on land or through water if there's just enough personal

 perfume left to tickle 'is nostrils. This track's fresh as a

 new whore. Until it rains we've got a trail to follow, and

 there's desert ahead. Maybe if we pee on the run we can

 overtake the bloody double-crossers."

 "Ah second the motion, suh. Let's not give up, Jon-

 Tom."

 "I wasn't thinking of giving up, Roseroar. I was thinking

 about what we're going to do when we do catch up with

 them."

 "That's the spirit!" She leaned close. "Leave the de-

 tails to me." Her teeth were very white.

 "I'm not sure that would be the civilized thing to do,

 Roseroar." Despite the deception, the thought of Folly in

 Roseroar's paws was not a pleasant one.

 "All man actions are dictated by man society's code of

 honah, Jon-Tom," she said stiffly. She frowned at a sudden

 206

 Alan Dean Foster

 thought. "Don't tell me that after what's happened heah

 yo still feel fo the little bitch?"

 He was shouldering his backpack. "We still don't know

 that she went with Jalwar voluntarily. Maybe he forced

 her."

 Mudge was waiting at the edge of the campsite, anxious

 to get moving. "Come on now, mate. Even if you exclude

 age as a consideration, the girl was bigger and stronger

 than that old ferret. And she could always have screamed."

 "Not necessarily. Not if Jalwar had a knife at her throat.

 Look, I admit it looks like she went with him voluntarily,

 but I won't condemn her until we know for sure. She's

 innocent until proven guilty."

 Mudge spat on the ground. "Another o' your other-

 worldly misconceptions."

 "It's not otherworldly. It's a universal truism," Jon-

 Tom argued.

 "Not in this universe it ain't."

 Roseroar let them argue while she assumed the lead,

 glancing occasionally at the ground to make sure they were

 still on the trail, scanning the woods for signs of ambush.

 For the moment she preferred to ignore both of her

 argumentative companions.

 From time to time Mudge would move up alongside her

 to dip his nose to the earth. Sometimes the footprints of

 their quarry would disappear under standing water or mix

 with the tracks of other creatures. Mudge always regained

 the trail.

 "Must 'ave took off right after the last o' us fell

 asleep," the otter commented that afternoon. "I guess

 them to be at least six hours ahead of us, probably more."

 "We'll catch them." Jon-Tom was covering the ground

 easily with long, practiced strides.

 "Maybe that ferret weren't so old as 'e made 'imself out

 to be," Mudge suggested.

 "We'll still catch them."

 But the day went with no sign of girl and ferret. They

 THE DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 207

 let Roseroar lead them on through the darkness, until

 accumulating bumps and bruises forced Jon-Tom to call a

 halt for the night. They slept fitfully and were up again

 before the dawn.

 By afternoon the last trees had surrendered to scrub

 brush and bare rock. Ahead of them a broad, hilly plain of

 yellow and brown mixed with the pure white of gypsum

 stretched from horizon to horizon. It was high desert, and

 as such, the heat was not as oppressive as it might have

 been. It was merely dauntingly hot. The air was still and

 windless, and the shallow sand clearly showed the tracks

 of Jalwar and Folly.

 It was a good thing, because the sand did not hold their

 quarry's spoor as well as damp soil, and Mudge had

 increasing difficulty distinguishing it from the tracks of

 desert dwellers as they started out across the plain.

 "I 'ope you remember that map well, mate."

 "This is the Timeful Desert, as I remember it."

 Mudge frowned. "I thought deserts were supposed to be

 timeless, not timeful."

 "Don't look at me. I didn't name it." He pointed

 toward a low dune. "The only sure source of water is a

 town in the middle of the desert called Redrock. The

 desert's not extensive, but it's plenty big enough to kill us

 if we lose our way.''

 "That's a comfortin' thought to be settin' out with."

 The otter looked up at Roseroar. "Any sign o' our friends,

 tall tail?"

 Roseroar's extraordinary eyesight scanned the horizon.

 "Nothing but sand. Nothing moves."

 "Can't say as 'ow I blame it." He kicked sand from his

 boots.

 By the morning of the next day the mountains had

 receded far behind them. Jon-Tom busied himself by

 searching for a suggestion of green, a hint of moisture. It

 seemed impossible that the land could be utterly barren.

 208

 Alan Dean Foster

 Even a stubby, tired cactus would have been a welcome

 sight.

 They saw nothing, which did not mean nothing existed

 in the Timeful Desert. Only that if any life did survive, it

 did not make itself known to the trio of travelers.

 He felt sure they would overtake Jalwar and Folly, but

 they did not. Not all that day nor the next.

 It was on that third day that Mudge had them halt while

 he knelt in the sand.

 " 'Ere now, 'ave either of you two noticed this?"

 "Noticed what?" The sweat was pouring down Jon-

 Tom's face, as much in frustration at finding no sign of

 their quarry as from the heat.

 Mudge put a paw fiat on the ground. "This 'ere sand.

 'Ave a close look."

 Jon-Tom knelt and stared. At first he saw nothing. Then

 one grain crept from beneath Mudge's fingers. A second, a

 third, moving from west to east. Mudge's paw hadn't

 moved them, nor had the wind. There was no wind.

 At the same time as loose grains were shifting from

 beneath the otter's paw, a small rampart of sand was

 building up against the other side of his thumb. The sand

 was moving, without aid of wind, from east to west.

 Jon-Tom put his own hand against the hot sand, watched

 as the phenomenon repeated itself. All around them, the

 sand was shifting from east to west. He felt the small hairs

 on the back of his neck stiffen.

 4' Tis bloody creepy,' * the otter muttered as he rose and

 brushed sand from his paws.

 "Some underground disturbance," Jon-Tom suggested.

 "Or something alive under the surface." That was not a

 pleasant thought, and he hastened to discard it. They had

 no proof that anything lived in this land, anyway.

 "That's not all." Mudge gestured back the way they'd

 come. "There's somethin' else mighty funny. See that 'ill

 we passed the other day?" Jon-Tom and Mudge strained to

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 2O9

 see the distant relative of a Serengeti kopje. " Tis lower

 than it were."

 "Nothing unnatural about that, Mudge. It's just shrink-

 ing into the distance as we walk."

 The otter shook his head insistently. " 'Tis shrinkin' too

 bloomin' fast, mate." He shouldered his pack and resumed

 the march. "One more thing. Don't it seem to either o'

 you that we're walkin' downhill?"

 Jon-Tom didn't try to hide his confusion. He gestured at

 the western horizon. "We're on level ground. What are

 you talking about?"

 "I dunno." The otter strained to put his feelings into

 words. "Tis just that somethin' don't feel right 'ere,

 mate. It just don't feel right."

 That night the otter's nose proved of more help than his

 sense of balance. They dug a hole through a dark stain in

 the sand and were rewarded with a trickle of surprisingly

 clear water. Patience enabled them to top off their water

 skins and relieve their major anxiety. It was decided

 unanimously to spend the night by the moisture seep.

 Jon-Tom felt someone shaking him awake, peered sleep-

 ily into still solid darkness. Mudge stared anxiously down

 at him.

 "Got somethin' for you to 'ave a looksee at, mate."

 "At this hour? Are you nuts?"

 "I 'ope so, mate," the otter whispered. "I sincerely

 'ope so."

 Jon-Tom sighed and unrolled himself. As he did so he

 found himself spitting out sand. The full moon gleamed

 brightly on their campsite, to reveal packs, weapons, and

 Roseroar's feet partially buried in sand.

 "The wind came up during the night, that's all." He

 found he was whispering, too, though there seemed no

 reason for it.

 "Feel any wind now, mate?"

 Jon-Tom wet a finger, stuck it into the air. "No. Not a

 breeze."

 "Then 'ave a look at your own feet, mate."

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 THE DAY OF THE DISSOJVAJVCE

 211

 Jon-Tom did so. As he stared he saw sand flowing over

 his toes. There was no wind at all, and now the sand was

 moving much faster. He drew his feet up as if the pulver-

 ized silica might bite him.

 "Look all around, lad."

 The sand was crawling westward at an ever more rapid

 pace. It seemed to accelerate even as he watched. In

 addition to the steady movement there came the first

 murmurs of a dry, slithery, rasping sound as grains tumbled

 over one another.

 The discussion finally woke Roseroar. "What's goin' on

 heah?"

 "I don't know," Jon-Tom muttered, eyeing the crawling

 ground. "The sand is moving, and much faster now than it

 was yesterday. I'm not sure I want to know what's making

 it move."

 "Should we go back?" The tigress was slipping on her

 sandals, shaking the grains from the leather.

 "We can't go back." He pulled on his boots. "If we go

 back now, we lose Jalwar, Folly, and likely as not,

 Clothahump's medicine. But I won't force either of you to

 stay with me. Roseroar, are you listening to me?"

 She wasn't. Instead, she was pointing southward. "Ah

 think we might get ourselves a second opinion. We have

 company, y'all."

 The line of camels the tigress had spotted was slightly

 behind them but moving in the same direction. Hastily

 gathering their equipment, the trio hurried to intercept the

 column of dromedaries. As they ran the sun began to rise,

 bringing with it welcome light and unwelcome heat. And

 all around them, the sand continued to crawl inexorably

 westward.

 Mounted on the backs of the camels was an irregular

 assortment of robed rodents—pack rats, kangaroo rats,

 field mice, and other desert dwellers of related species.

 They looked to Jon-Tom like a bunch of midget bewhis-

 kered bedouins. He loped alongside the lead camel, tried

 to bow slightly, and nearly tripped over his own feet.

 "Where are you headed in such a hurry?" The pack rat

 did not reply. The camel did.

 "We go to Redrock, Everyone goes now to Redrock,

 man. Everyone who lives in the desert." The camel's

 manner was imperious and wholly typical of his kind. He

 spat a glob of foul-smelling sputum to his left, making

 Jon-Tom dodge.

 "Who are you people?" inquired the pack rat in the

 front. There was room on the camel's back for several.

 "Strangers in this land."

 "That is obvious enough," commented the camel.

 "Why is everyone going to Redrock?" Jon-Tom asked.

 The camel glanced back up at its lead rider and shook its

 head sadly. The rat spoke. "You really don't know?"

 "If we did, would we be askin' you, mate?" said

 Mudge.

 The rat gestured with both paws, spreading his arms

 wide. "It is the Conjunction. The time when the threads of

 magic that bind together this land reach their apogee. The

 time of the time inversion."

 "What does that mean?"

 The rat shrugged. "Do not ask me to explain it. I am no

 magician. This I do know. If you do not reach the safety of

 Redrock by the time the next moon begins to rise, you

 never will." He slapped the camel on the side of its neck.

 The animal turned to gaze back up at him.

 "Let's have none of that, Bartim, or you will find

 yourself walking. 1 am measuring my pace, as are the rest

 of the brethren."

 "The time is upon us!"

 "No less so upon me than thee," said the camel with a

 pained expression. He turned to glance back to where

 Jon-Tom was beginning to fall behind. "We will see you

 in Redrock, strangers, or we will drink the long drink to

 your memory."

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 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 213

 Panting hard in the rising light, Jon-Tom slowed to a

 walk, unable to maintain the pace. On firm ground he

 might have kept up, but not in the soft sand. Roseroar and

 Mudge were equally winded.

 "What was that all about, Jon-Tom?" asked Roseroar.

 "I'm not sure. It didn't make much sense."

 "Ah you not a spellsingah?"

 "I know my songs, but not other magic. If Clothahump

 were here ..."

 "If 'is wizardship were 'ere we wouldn't be, mate."

 "What do you think of their warning?"

 Sand was building up around the otter's feet, and he

 kicked angrily at it. "They were both scared. Wot of I

 couldn't say, but scared they were. I think we'd better

 listen to 'em and get a move on. Make Redrock by

 nightfall, they said. If they can do it, so can we. Let's get

 to it."

 They began to jog, keeping up a steady pace and taking

 turns in the lead. They barely paused to eat and made

 lavish use of their water. The more they drank, the less

 there was to carry, and if the warning was as significant as

 it had seemed, they would have to drink in Redrock that

 night or not drink at all.

 As for the nature of the menace, that began to manifest

 itself as they ran.

 It was evening, and still no sign of the city, nor of the

 caravan, which had far outdistanced them. The sand was

 moving rapidly now, threatening to engulf their feet every

 time they paused to catch their breath.

 At first he thought he was sinking. A quick glance

 revealed the truth. The ground behind them was rising. It

 was as. if they were running inland from a beach and the

 beach was pursuing, a steadily mounting tidal wave of

 sand. He thought about turning and trying to scramble to

 the crest of the granular wave. What stopped him was the

 possibility that on the other side they might find only

 another, even higher surge.

 So they ran on, their lungs heaving, legs aching. Once

 Mudge stumbled and they had to pull him to his feet while

 the sand clutched eagerly at his legs.

 When he fell a second time, he tried to wave them off. It

 was as if his seemingly inexhaustible energy had finally

 given out.

 " 'Tis no use, lad. I can't go on anymore. Save your-

 selves." He fluttered weakly with a paw.

 Jon-Tom used the pause to catch his wind. "You're

 right, Mudge," he finally declared. "That's the practical

 thing to do. I'll always remember how nobly you died."

 He turned to go on. Roseroar gave him a questioning look

 but decided not to comment.

 A handful of sand struck Jon-Tom on the back of the

 neck. "Noble, me arse! You would've left me 'ere, wouldn't

 you? Left poor old Mudge to die in the sand!"

 Jon-Tom grinned, took care to conceal it from the

 apoplectic otter. "Look, mate. I'm tired, too, and I'm

 damned if I'm going to carry you."

 The otter staggered after his companions. "I suppose you

 think it's funny, don't you, you 'ypocritical, angular bastard?"

 Jon-Tom fought not to laugh. For one thing, he couldn't

 spare the wind. "Come off it, Mudge. You know we

 wouldn't have left you."

 "Oh, wouldn't you, now? Suppose I 'adn't gotten up to

 follow you, eh? Wot then? 'Ow do I knows you would've

 come back for me?"

 "It's a moot point, Mudge. You were just trying to hitch

 a ride."

 "I admit nothin'." The otter pushed past him, taking the

 lead, his short, stubby legs moving like pistons.

 "A strange one, yoah fuzzy little friend," Roseroar

 whispered to Jon-Tom. She matched her pace to his.

 "Oh, Mudge is okay. He's a lazy, lying little cheat, but

 other than that he's a prince."

 Roseroar considered this. "Ah believes the standards o'

 yoah world must be somewhat different from mine."

 214

 Alan Dean Foster

 "Depends on what part of my culture you come from.

 Mudge, for example, would be right at home in a place

 called Hollywood. Or Washington, D.C. His talents would

 be much in demand."

 Roseroar shook her head. "Those names have no meanuT

 fo me."

 "That's okay. They don't for a lot of my contemporaries,

 either."

 The sand continued to rise behind them, mounting

 toward the darkening sky. At any moment the wave might

 crest, to send tons of sand tumbling over them, swallowing

 them up. He tried not to think of that, tried to think of

 anything except lifting his legs and setting one foot down

 ahead of the other. When the angle of the dune rising in

 their wake became sharper than forty-five degrees the sand

 would be rushing at them so rapidly they would be hard

 put to keep free of its grasp.

 All around them, in both directions as far as they could

 see, the desert was climbing for the stars. He could only

 wonder at the cause. The Conjunction, the pack rat had

 said. The moon was up now, reaching silvery tendrils

 toward the panting, desperate refugees. At moonrise, the

 rat told him. But when would the critical moment come?

 Now, in minutes, or at midnight? How much time did they

 have left?

 Then Roseroar was shouting, and a cluster of hills

 became visible ahead of them. As they ran on, the outlines

 of the hills sharpened, grew regular and familiar: Redrock,

 so named for the red sandstone of which its multistoried

 towers and buildings had been constructed. In the first

 moonlight and the last rays of the sun the city looked as if

 it were on fire.

 Now they found themselves among other stragglers—

 some on foot, others living in free association with camels

 and burros. Some snapped frantic whips over the heads of

 dray lizards.

 Several ostrich families raced past, heavy backpacks

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 215

 strapped to their useless wings. They carried no passen-

 gers. Nor did the family of cougars that came loping in

 from the north, running on hind legs like Roseroar. Bleating

 and barking, honking and complaining, these streams of

 divergent life came together in pushing, shoving lines that

 struggled to enter the city.

 "We're going to make it!" he shouted to his compan-

 ions as they merged with the rear of the mob. He was

 afraid to look back lest an avalanche of brown-and-yellow

 particles prove him a fatal liar. His throat felt like the

 underside of the hood of a new Corvette after a day of

 drag-racing, but he didn't dare stop for a drink until they

 were safely inside the city walls.

 Then the ground fell away beneath him.

 They were on a bridge, and looking down he could see

 through the cracks in the wood. The lumber to build it

 must have come from distant mountains. There was no

 bottom to the moat, a black ring encircling the city.

 His first thought was that Redrock had been built on a

 hill in the center of some ancient volcanic crater. A glance

 at the walls of the moat proved otherwise. They were too

 regular, too smooth, and too vertical to have been fashioned

 by hand. Something had dug the awesome ring. Who or

 what, he could not imagine.

 Thick smells and heavy musk filled the air around him.

 The bridge seemed endless, the gaps between the heavy

 timbers dangerously wide. If he missed a step and put a

 leg through, he wouldn't fall, but he would be trampled by

 the anxious mass of life crowding about him.

 Once within the safety of the city walls, the panic

 dissipated. Lines of tall guards clad in yellow shepherded

 the exhausted flow of refugees into the vast courtyard

 beyond the gate. There were no buildings within several

 hundred yards of the wall and the moat just beyond. A

 great open space had been provided for all who sought

 shelter from the rising sands. How often did this phenom-

 216

 Alan Dean Foster

 enon take place? The camel and the pack rat hadn't said,

 but it was obviously a regular and predictable occurrence.

 "I have to see what's going on outside," he told

 Roseroar. She nodded, towering above most of the crowd.

 Tents had been set up in expectation of the flood of

 refugees. Jon-Tom and his companions were among the

 last to enter, but they had interests other than shelter.

 "This way," the tigress told him. She took his hand and

 pulled him bodily through the milling, swarming crowd, a

 striped iceberg breasting a sea of fur. Somehow Mudge

 managed to keep up.

 Then they found themselves by the city wall, followed

 it until they came to stone stairs leading upward. Jon-Tom

 let loose of Roseroar's paw and led the way.

 Would the sand wave fill the moat? If so, what would

 happen afterward?

 A few others already stood watching atop the wall. They

 were calm and relaxed, so Jon-Tom assumed there was no

 danger. Everyone in the city was handling the situation too

 well for there to be any danger.

 One blase guard, a tall serval wearing a high turban to

 protect his delicate ears, stood aside to let them pass.

 "Mind the vibration, visitors," he warned them

 They reached the top and stared out over the desert.

 Beyond the moat, the world was turning upside down.

 There was no sign of the far mountains they had left

 many days ago. No sign of any landmark. Not a rock

 protruded from the ground. There was only the sand sea

 rising and rushing toward the city in a single wave two

 hundred feet high, roaring like a billion pans of frying

 bacon. Jon-Tom wanted to reach back and put his hand on

 the guard, to ask what was going to happen next. Since

 none of the other onlookers did so, he held his peace and

 like them, simply stood and gaped.

 The massive wave did not fall forward to smash against

 the puny city walls. It began to slide into the dark moat,

 pouring in a seemingly endless waterfall into the unbelievable

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 217

 excavation. The wave was endless, too. As they watched

 it seemed to grow even higher, climbing toward the clouds

 as its base disappeared into the moat.

 The thunder was all around him, and he could feel the

 sandstone blocks quivering underfoot. Jon-Tom turned.

 Across the roofs of the city, in all directions, he could see

 the wave. The city was surrounded by rushing sand hun-

 dreds of feet high and inestimable in volume, all of it

 cascading down into the depths which surrounded Redrock.

 Thirty minutes passed. The wave began to shrink. Un-

 countable tons of sand continued to pour into the moat,

 which still showed no sign of filling up. Another thirty

 minutes and the torrent had slowed to a trickle. A few

 minutes more and the last grains tumbled into the abyss.

 Beyond, the moon illuminated the skeleton of the de-

 sert. Bare rock stood revealed, as naked as the surface of

 the moon. Between the city and the mountains, nothing

 lived, nothing moved. A few hollows showed darkly

 in the rock, ancient depressions now emptied of sand and

 gravel.

 A soft murmur rose from the onlookers as they turned

 away from the moat and the naked desert to face the center

 of the city. Jon-Tom and his companions turned with them.

 In the exact center of Redrock a peculiar glassy tower

 stood apart from the sandstone buildings. All eyes focused

 on the slim spire. There was a feeling of expectation.

 He was about to give in to curiosity and ask the guard

 what was going to happen when he heard something

 nimble. The stone under his feet commenced quivering. It

 was a different tremor this time, as though the planet itself

 were in motion. The rumbling deepened, became a roar-

 ing, then a constant thunder. Something was happening

 deep inside the earth.

 "What is it, what's going on?" Roseroar yelled at him.

 He did not reply and could not have made himself heard

 had he tried.

 218

 Alan Dean Foster

 Sudden, violent wind blew hats from heads and veils

 from faces. Jon-Tom's cape stretched out straight behind

 him like an iridescent flag. He staggered, leaned into the

 unexpected hurricane as he tried to see the tower.

 The sands of the Timeful Desert erupted skyward from

 the open mouth of the glass pillar, climbing thousands of

 feet toward the moon. Reaching some predetermined height,

 the silica geyser started to spread out beneath the clouds.

 Jon-Tom instinctively turned to seek shelter, but stopped

 when he saw that none of the other pilgrims had moved.

 As though sliding down an invisible roof, the sand did

 not fall anywhere within the city walls. Instead, it spread

 out like a cloud, to fall as yellow rain across the desert. It

 continued to fall for hours as the tower blasted it into the

 sky. Only when the moon was well past its zenith and had

 begun to set again did the volume decrease and finally

 peter out.

 Then the geyser fell silent. The chatter of the refugees

 and the cityfolk filled the air, replacing the roar of the

 tower. A glance revealed that the bottomless moat was

 empty once again.

 Beyond the wall, beyond the moat, the Timeful Desert

 once more was as it had been. All was still. The absence

 of life there despite the presence of water was now explained.

 "Great magic," said Roseroar solemnly.

 "Lethal magic." Mudge twitched his nose. "If we'd

 been a few minutes longer we'd be out there somewhere

 with our 'earts stopped and our guts full o' sand."

 Jon-Tom stopped a passing fox. "Is it over? What

 happens now?"

 "What happens now, man," said the fox, "is that we

 sleep, and we celebrate the end of another Conjunction.

 Tomorrow we return to our homes." She pushed past him

 and started down the stairs.

 Jon-Tom resorted to questioning one of the guards. The

 muskrat was barely four feet tall and wore his fur cut

 fashionably short.

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 219

 "Please, we're strangers here." He nodded toward the

 desert. "Does this happen every year?"

 "Twice a year," the guard informed him, bored. "A

 grand sight the first time, I suppose."

 "What's it for? Why does it happen?"

 The muskrat scratched under his chin. "It is said that

 these are the sands of time. All time. When they have run

 their course, they must be turned to run again. Who turns

 them, or why, no one knows. Gods, spirits, some great

 being somewhere else who is bored with the task, who

 knows? I am no sorcerer or scholar, visitor." He turned to

 leave.

 "Let 'im go, mate/' said Mudge. "I don't care wot it's

 about. Runnin' for me life always tires me out. Me for a

 spot o' sleep and somethin' to drink." He started down the

 stairs. Jon-Tom and Roseroar followed.

 "What do yo think happens heah?" the tigress asked

 him.

 "I imagine it's as the guard told us. The desert is some

 kind of hourglass, holding all time within it." He gazed

 thoughtfully at the sky. "I wonder: if you could stop the

 mechanism somehow, could you stop time?" He turned

 toward the glassy tower. "I'd sure like to have a look

 inside that."

 "Best not to," she told him. "Yo might find something.

 Yo might find your own time."

 He nodded. "Anyway, we have other fish to fry."

 "Ah beg yo pahdon?"

 "Jalwar and Folly. If everyone else is forced to seek

 sanctuary here from the Conjunction, they would also. If

 they weren't caught by the sand, they should be some-

 where here in the city."

 "Ah declah, Jon-Tom, ah hadn't thought o' that!" She

 scanned the courtyard below.

 "Unless," he went on, "they were far enough ahead of

 us to have already crossed the desert."

 "Oh," She looked downcast, then straightened. "No

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 Alan Dean Foster

 mattah. We'll find them." She began looking for an empty

 place among the crowds. Probably the few city inns were

 already full to overflowing with the wealthy among the

 refugees. The city gates were open and some were already

 filing back out into the desert.

 "Yo know, somethin' just occurred to me, Jon-Tom.

 This old Jalwah, ah'm thinkin' we've been underestimatin'

 him all along. Do yo suppose he deliberately led us out

 heah into this desert knowin' we didn't know about this

 comin' Conjunction thing, and hopin' we might get oah-

 selves killed?"

 Jon-Tom considered only a moment. "Roseroar, I think

 that's a very good possibility, just as I think that the next

 time we meet up with our ferret friend, we'd better watch

 our step very carefully indeed."

 XIII

 Inquiries in the marketplace finally unearthed mention of

 Folly and Jalwar's passing. They were indeed several days

 ahead of their pursuers, and yet they had rented no riding

 animals. Apparently Jalwar was not only smarter than

 they'd given him credit for, he was also considerably

 stronger. The merchant who provided the information did

 not know which way the ferret and the girl had gone, but

 Jon-Tom remembered enough of the map to guess.

 The desert reaches were much more extensive to north

 and south. There was no way back to Snarken except via

 Redrock. Therefore their earlier suppositions still held

 true. Jalwar was making for Crancularn as fast as possible.

 Roseroar's search for nighttime lodging was terminated.

 There was no time to waste. Jon-Tom reluctantly allowed

 Mudge to scavenge for supplies, and the travelers then beat

 a hasty retreat from Redrock before their unwilling vict-

 ualers could awaken to the discovery of their absent

 inventory.

 "Of course, we'll pay for these supplies on our way

 back," Jon-Tom said.

 "And 'ow do you propose we do that?" Mudge labored

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 222

 Alan Dean Poster

 under his restocked pack. The desert was oddly cool

 underfoot, the sand stable and motionless once again. It

 was as though the grains had never been displaced, had

 never moved.

 "I don't know, but we have to do something about this

 repeated steali—"

 "Watch it, mate."

 "About this repeated foraging of yours. Why do you

 insist on maintaining the euphemisms, Mudge?"

 The otter grinned at him. "For appearances' sakes,

 mate."

 "It troubles me as well," Roseroar murmured, "but we

 must make use of any means that we can to see this thing

 through."

 "I know, but I'll feel better about it if we can pay for

 what we've 'borrowed' on our way back."

 Mudge sighed, shook his head resignedly. " 'Umans,"

 he muttered.

 Despite Jon-Tom's expectations, they did not catch up

 to their quarry. They did encounter occasional groups of

 nomads returning to their campsites, sometimes sharing

 their camps for the night. All expressed ignorance when

 asked if they had seen any travelers fitting Jalwar's or

 Folly's description.

 On the third day they had their first glimpse of the

 foothills which lay beyond the western edge of the Timeful

 Desert. On the fourth they found themselves hiking among

 green grass, cool woodlands, and thick scrub. Mudge

 luxuriated in the aroma and presence of running water,

 while Roseroar was able to enjoy fresh meat once more.

 On their first day in the forest she brought down a

 monitor lizard the size of a cow with one swordthrust.

 Mudge joined her in butchering the carcass and setting the

 steaks to cook over a blaze of thin, white-barked logs.

 "Smells mighty good," commented a strange voice.

 Roseroar rose to a sitting position. Mudge peered around

 THE DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 223

 the cookfire while Jon-Tom put aside the duar he'd been

 strumming.

 Standing at the edge of their little clearing in the trees

 was a five-foot-tall cuscus, a bland expression on his pale

 face. He was dressed in overlapping leather strips and

 braids, snakeskin boots of azure hue, and short brown

 pants. A single throwing knife was slung on each hip, and

 he was scratching himself under the chin with his furless,

 prehensile tail. As he scratched he leaned on the short staff

 he carried. Jon-Tom wondered if, like his own, the visi-

 tor's also concealed a short, deadly length of steel in the

 unknobbed end. The visitor's fur was pale beige mottled

 with brown.

 He was also extraordinarily ugly, a characteristic of the

 species, though perhaps a female cuscus might have thought

 otherwise of the newcomer. He made no threatening ges-

 tures and waited patiently.

 "Come on in and have a seat." Jon-Tom extended the

 invitation only after Roseroar had climbed to her feet and

 Mudge had moved close to his bow.

 "That is right kind of you, sir. I am Hathcar." Jon-Tom

 performed introductions all around.

 Roseroar was sniffing the air, glanced accusingly down

 at the visitor. "You are not alone."

 "No, large she, I am not. Did I forget to mention it? I

 am sorry and will now remedy my absentmindedness." He

 put his lips together and emitted a sharp, high-pitched

 whistle.

 With much rustling of bushes a substantial number of

 creatures stepped out into clear view, forming a line behind

 the cuscus. They were an odd assortment, from the more

 familiar rats and mice to bandicoots and phalangers. There

 was even a nocturnal aye-aye, who wore large, dark

 sunglasses and carried a short, sickle-shaped weapon.

 Their clothes were on the ragged side, and their boots

 and sandals showed signs of much usage. Altogether not a

 prosperous-looking bunch, Jon-Tom decided. The presence

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 Alan Dean Foster

 of so many weapons was not reassuring. These were not

 kindly villagers out for a daily stroll.

 Still, if all they wanted was something to eat....

 "You're welcome to join us," he told Hathcar. "There's

 plenty for all."

 Hathcar looked past him, to where Mudge was laboring

 with the cooking. His tongue licked black lips.

 "You are kind. Those of us who prefer meat haven't

 made such a grand catch in many a day." He smiled as

 best he could.

 Jon-Tom gestured toward Roseroar. "Yes, she's quite

 the huntress."

 "She sizes the part. Still, there is but one of her and

 many of us. How is it that she has been so successful and

 we have not?"

 "Skill is more important than numbers." One huge paw

 caressed the hilt of a long sword.

 Hathcar did not seem impressed. "Sometimes that can

 be so, unless you are a hundred against one lizard."

 "Sometimes," she agreed coolly, "but not always."

 The cuscus changed the subject. ' 'What seek you strang-

 ers in this remote land?"

 "We're on a mission of importance for a great and

 powerful wizard," Jon-Tom told him, "We go to the

 village of Crancularn."

 "Crancularn." Hathcar looked back at his colleagues,

 who were hard-pressed to restrain their amusement. "That's

 a fool's errand."

 Jon-Tom casually let his fingers stray to his staff. He'd

 had just about enough of this questioning, enigmatic visi-

 tor. Either they wanted something to eat or they didn't,

 and double-talk wasn't on the menu.

 "Maybe you think we look like fools," Hathcar said.

 All hints of laughter fled from the gang standing behind

 him. Jon-Tom didn't reply, waited for what might come.

 The cuscus's smile returned, and he moved toward the

 fire. "Well, you have offered us a meal. That's a wise

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 225

 decision. Certainly not one to be made by fools." He

 pulled a throwing knife. "If I might try a bite? It looks

 well done. My compliments to the cook." Mudge said

 nothing.

 Jon-Tom watched the visitor closely. Was he going to

 cut meat with it... or throw it? He couldn't decide.

 Something came flying through the air toward him. He

 ducked and rolled, ending up on his feet holding the

 ramwood staff protectively in front of him. Mudge picked

 up his bow and notched an arrow into the string. Roseroar's

 longswords flashed as they were drawn. All within a

 couple of seconds.

 Hathcar was careful not to raise the knife he now held.

 Behind him, his colleagues gripped their own weapons

 threateningly. But the cuscus was not glaring at Jon-Tom.

 His gaze was on the creature who had come flying through

 the air to land heavily next to the tall human.

 The mongoose was clad entirely in black. It lay on its

 belly, moaning. Strange marks showed on its narrow backside.

 "Faset," Hathcar hissed, "what happened?" The mon-

 goose rolled to look at him, yelped when its bruised pelvis

 made contact with the ground.

 "I happened." Everyone turned toward the voice.

 The unicorn strolled casually into the clearing. It was

 gold. Not the light gold of a palomino but a pure metallic

 gold like the color of a coin or ring, except for white

 patches on its forehead and haunches. It might have risen

 from a vat of liquid gold except that Jon-Tom could clearly

 see that the color was true, down to the shortest hair.

 In its mouth it carried a small crossbow. This it dropped

 at Jon-Tom's feet. Then it nodded meaningfully toward the

 still groaning mongoose. Jon-Tom now recognized the

 marks on the mongoose's pants. They were hoofprints.

 Hathcar was beside himself as he glared furiously at the

 unicorn. "Who the hell are you, four-foot? And who

 asked you to interfere? This is none of your business."

 The unicorn gazed at him out of lapis eyes, said coolly,

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 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 227

 "1 am making it my business." He smiled at Jon-Tom.

 "My name's Drom. I was grazing back in the woods when

 I heard the talk. Ordinarily I would have ignored it, as I

 ignored your presence." He nodded toward the mongoose,

 who was trying to crawl back to its comrades while

 avoiding Hathcar.

 "However, I happened to chance upon this ebon worm

 as he was aiming his little toy at your back." Drom raised

 a hoof, brought it down on the crossbow. There was a

 splintering sound. "The unpleasant one there," and he

 nodded toward Hathcar, "was right. This was none

 of my business. I don't trouble to involve myself in

 the affairs of you social types. But I can't stand to

 see anyone backshot." He turned his magnificent head,

 the thin golden goatee fluttering, and glared back at

 Hathcar.

 "Yo ah a true gentlemale, suh," said Roseroar approvingly.

 "You should have stayed out of this, fool." Hathcar

 moved quickly to join his gang. "Anyway, he lies. No

 doubt this insect," and he kicked at the miserable Faset,

 "was trying to put a bolt through you. But that has nothing

 to do with me."

 "You called him by name," Jon-Tom said accusingly.

 "A casual acquaintance." Hathcar continued to retreat.

 His backers muttered uneasily.

 "Glad you don't know 'im, friend." Mudge's arrow

 followed the cuscus's backpedaling. "I'd 'ate to think you

 'ad anything to do with 'is little ambushcade."

 "What about your invitation?" Hathcar wanted to know.

 "I think we'd rather dine alone," Jon-Tom smiled

 thinly. "At least until we can sort things out."

 "That's not very friendly of you. It's not polite to

 withdraw an invitation once extended."

 "My back," the mongoose blubbered. "I think my

 back is broken."

 "Shut up, asshole." Hathcar kicked him in the mouth

 and blood squirted. The cuscus tried to grin at the tall

 man. "Really, this thing has nothing to do with me." His

 band was beginning to melt into the forest. "Always

 hanging around, looking for sympathy. Sorry our visit

 upset you. I understand." Then he too was gone, swallowed

 by the vegetation.

 Roseroar's ears were cocked forward. "They're still

 movin' about," she murmured warily.

 "Where?" Jon-Tom asked her.

 "Back among the trees."

 "They are spreading out in an attempt to encircle you,"

 said the one-horned stallion.

 "Permit me to congratulate you on your timely arrival,

 mate." Mudge's eyes searched the woods as he spoke. "I

 never sensed 'im."

 "Nor did I," said Roseroar, sparing a glance for the

 remains of the crossbow.

 "I don't understand," Jon-Tom murmured. "We offered

 them all the food they could eat."

 "It wasn't just your food they were after." Drom kicked

 the crossbow fragments aside. "I know that bunch by

 reputation. They were after your weapons and armor, your

 Fine clothes and your money."

 Mudge let out a barking laugh. "Our money! Now

 mat's amusin'. We haven't a copper to our names," he

 lied.

 "Ah, but they thought you did." The unicorn nodded

 toward the forest. "Small comfort that would have been to

 you if they had learned that afterwards."

 "You're right there."

 Roseroar was turning a slow circle, keeping the roasting

 carcass at her back as much as possible. "They're still out

 theah. Probably they think we can't heah them, but ah

 can." She growled deep in her throat, a blood chilling

 sound. "Our friend here is right. They're trying to get

 behind us."

 "And to surprise you. Hathcar did not show his full

 228

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 229

 strength. Many more of his band remained concealed while

 he spoke to you."

 Jon-Tom eyed the silent trees in alarm. "How many

 more?' *

 "A large number, though, of course, I am only guessing

 based on what I could observe during my approach."

 "We appreciate your help. You might as well take off

 now. Our problems aren't yours."

 "They are now," the unicorn to!d him. "These are

 indifferent murderers, full of false pride. I have embarrassed

 their leader in front of his band. Now he must kill me or

 lose face and possibly his status as leader."

 Roseroar strode toward the back of the clearing. "Move

 in heah, where theah's some covah."

 The unicorn shook his head, the mane of gold rippling

 in the filtered tight. "It will not be good enough, tigress. I

 can see that you are powerful as well as well-versed in

 war, but there are too many of them, and you will be

 fighting in very close quarters. If they come at you from

 all directions simultaneously you won't have a chance.

 You require a more defensible position."

 "You know of one?" Jon-Tom asked him.

 "It is not far from here. I think if we can get there we

 will be able to stand them off."

 "Then let's get the hell out of here," he muttered as he

 shouldered his pack.

 Mudge held back, torn between common sense and the

 effort he'd put into their supper. Roseroar saw his hesitation.

 "A full belly's small consolation to someone with his

 guts hangin' out. Ah declah, short-whiskahs, sometimes

 ah wondah about yo priorities."

 "Sometimes I wonder meself, lass." He looked longingly

 back at the lost roast as they hurried through the woods,

 following the stallion's lead.

 Drom maintained a steady but slow pace to enable his

 newfound friends to keep up with him. Everyone watched

 the surrounding woods. But it was Roseroar's ears they

 relied on most.

 "Stayin' carefully upwind of us, but I can heah them

 movin' faster. They're still behind us, though. Must think

 we're still in the camp."

 "Wait a minute!" Jon-Tom called a halt. "Where's

 Mudge?"

 Roseroar cursed under her breath. "Damn that ottah! Ah

 knew ah should've kept a closer watch on him. He's gone

 back fo some of that meat. Yoah friend is a creature of base

 instincts."

 "Yes, but he's not stupid. Here he comes."

 Mudge appeared, laboring beneath a section of roast

 nearly as big as himself. "Sorry, mates. I worked all day

 on this bloody banquet, and I'm damned if I was goin' to

 leave it all for those bastards."

 "You're damned anyway," snapped Jon-Tom. "How

 are you going to keep up, hauling that on your back?"

 The otter swung the heavy, pungent load off his shoulders.

 "Roseroar?"

 "Not me, ottah. Yo stew in yoah own stew."

 "We're wasting time," said Drom. "Here." He dipped

 his head forward. "Hold it still."

 A quick jab and the roast was impaled on the spiral

 horn. "Now let's be away from here before they discover

 ourflight." He turned and resumed his walk. "Disgusting."

 "What is?" Jon-Tom asked as he jogged alongside.

 "The smell of cooked flesh, the odiferous thought of

 consuming the body of another living creature, the miasma

 of carbonized protein, what else?"

 Suddenly Jon-Tom wasn't so hungry anymore.

 Creepers and vines strangled the entrance to the ancient

 structure. Roseroar was reluctant to enter. The strangely

 slitted windows and triangular doorways bespoke a time

 and people who had ruled the world long before the

 warmblooded.

 230

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 231

 "Sulolk used this place," murmured Drom as he trotted

 inside.

 Distant shouts of outrage came from behind them,

 deciding the tigress. She bent beneath the low portal and

 squeezed in.

 The single chamber beyond had a vaulted ceiling that

 enabled her to stand easily. There was more than enough

 room for all of them. Mudge was admiring the narrow

 windows, fashioned by a forgotten people for reasons of

 unknown aesthetics but admirably suited to the refugees'

 present needs. He notched an arrow into his bow and

 settled himself behind one thin gap.

 Jon-Tom took up a stance to the left of the opening,

 ready to use his steel-tipped staff on anyone who tried to

 enter. A moment later he was able to move to a second

 window as Roseroar jammed a massive stone weighing at

 least three hundred pounds into the doorway, blocking it

 completely.

 "This is a good place to fight from." Drom used a hoof

 to shove the cooling roast from his horn onto clean rock.

 "A small spring flows from the floor of a back room.

 Cracks in the ceiling allow fresh air to circulate. I have

 often slept here in safety." He indicated the damp grass

 growing from the floor. "There is food as well."

 "For you," admitted Jon-Tom, watching the woods for

 signs of their pursuers. "Well, we have what's in our

 packs and the roast we saved." He glanced to his right,

 toward the other guarded window. "You shouldn't have

 done that, Mudge."

 "Cor, it ain't no fun fightin' on an empty stomach,

 mate." He leaned forward; his black nose twitched as he

 sampled the air. "If they try chargin' us, I can pick 'em off

 easy. Our 'omy friend's right. This is a damn good place."

 Rosewar was eyeing the wall carvings uneasily. "This is

 a very old place. I smell ancient feahs." She had drawn

 bom longs words.

 There was a thump as Drom settled down to wait. "I

 smell only clean grass and water."

 Threatening shouts began to emanate from the trees.

 Mudge responded with some choice comments about

 Hathcar's mother, whom he had never met but whom

 thousands of others undoubtedly had. This inspired a rain

 of arrows which splintered harmlessly against the thick

 stone walls. One flew through Jon-Tom's window to stick

 in the earth behind him.

 "Here they come!" he warned his companions.

 There was nothing subtle about the bandits' strategy.

 While archers tried to pin down the defenders, an assort-

 ment of raccoons, foxes, and cats rushed at the entrance,

 carrying a big log between them. But Roseroar braced her

 massive shoulders against the boulder from behind and

 kept it from being pushed inward, while Mudge put arrows

 in the log wielders as fast as they could be replaced.

 "Another bugger down!" the otter would yell each time

 an arrow struck home.

 This continued for several minutes while Mudge re-

 duced the number of Hathcar's band and Roseroar kept the

 boulder from moving so much as an inch inward. No

 martyrs to futility, those hefting the battering ram finally

 gave up and fled for the safety of the woods with the

 otter's deadly shafts urging them on.

 No one had approached Jon-Tom's window during the

 fight. Mudge and Roseroar had done all the work and he

 felt pretty useless.

 "What now? I don't think they'll try that again."

 "No, but they'll bloody well try somethin' else,"

 murmured the otter. "Say, mate, why don't you 'ave a go

 at 'em with your duar?"

 Jon-Tom blinked. "I hadn't thought of that. Well, I had,

 but it's hard to think and sing when you're running."

 "Why make music? To aggravate them?" asked Drom

 interestedly.

 "Nope. 'E's a spellsinger, 'e is," said Mudge, "and a

 232

 Alan Dean Poster

 right good one, too. When 'e can control it," he added by

 way of afterthought.

 "A spellsinger. I am impressed," said the unicorn.

 Jon-Tom felt a little better, though he wished the golden

 stallion would quit staring at him so intensely.

 "What do you think they'll try next?" Jon-Tom asked

 the otter.

 Mudge eyed the trees. "This bunch bein' about as

 imaginative as a pile o' cow flop, I'd expect them to try

 smokin' us out. If four legs there is right about the cracks

 in the roof lettin' air in, they'll be wastin' their time."

 "Are yo certain theah's no back way in?"

 "None that I was ever able to discover," Drom told the

 tigress.

 "Not that you'd fit places where some o1 the rest of us

 might," observed Mudge thoughtfully. He handed his bow

 and quiver to Jon-Tom. "I'd better check out the nooks

 and crannies, mate. We don't want some nasty surprises to

 show up and stick us in the behind when we ain't lookin'."

 He headed for the crumbling back wall.

 Jon-Tom eyed the bow uncertainly. "Mudge, I'm not

 good at this."

 "Just give a shout if they come at us again. It ain't 'ard,

 mate. Just shove an arrow through the window there. They

 don't know you can't shoot." He bent, crawled under a

 lopsided stone and disappeared.

 Jon-Tom awkwardly notched an arrow, rested it on the

 window sill as Roseroar took up a position behind the one

 the otter had vacated.

 "Ah don't understand," she murmured, squinting at the

 forest. "We all ain't worth the trouble we're causin' this

 Hathcar. That ottah brought down five or six o' them. If ah

 was this fella ah'd give up and go in search of less deadly

 prey."

 "That would be the reasonable thing to do," said

 Drom, nodding, "except that as chief he has lost face

 already before his band. He will not give up, though if he

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 233

 suffers many more losses his own fighters may force him

 to quit." The unicorn climbed to his feet and strolled over

 to Roseroar's window. She made room for him.

 "Hathcar!" he shouted.

 A reluctant voice finally replied. "Who calls? Is that

 you, meddler with a spike in his brain?"

 "It is I." Drom was unperturbed by the bandit leader's

 tone. "Listen to me! These travelers are poor. They have

 no money."

 Cuscus laughter rang through the trees. "You expect me

 to believe that?"

 "It's true. In any case, you cannot defeat them."

 "Don't bet on that."

 "You cannot break in here."

 "Maybe not, but we'll force you out. It may take time,

 but we'll do it."

 "If you do, then I will only lead them to another place

 of safety, one even harder to assault than this one. I know

 these woods, and you know I speak the truth. So why not

 depart now before suffering any more senseless losses? It's

 a stupid leader who sacrifices his people for no gain."

 Muttering came from different places in the trees, proof

 that Drom's last words had hit home. Hathcar hastened to

 respond.

 "No matter if you lead them elsewhere. We'll track you

 down no matter where you go."

 "Perhaps you will. Or perhaps you'll find yourselves

 led into a trap. We of the forest have ways of defending

 ourselves against you lovers of civilization. There are

 hidden pits and tree-mounted weapons scattered through-

 out my territory. Follow me and find them at your peril."

 This time the woods were silent. Drom nodded to

 himself. "Good. They're thinking it over, probably argu-

 ing about it. If they come to their senses, we may be able

 to get out of here without any more violence."

 Jon-Tom peered through the narrow slit in the stone.

 "You think they'll really react that sensibly?"

 234

 Alan Dean Foster

 "I don't know, but he knows I'm talking truth," said the

 unicorn softly. "I know this section of forest better than he

 does, and he knows that I know that."

 "But how could we slip out of here and get past them?"

 Drom chuckled. "1 did fudge on that one a bit. Yet for

 all he knows there are a dozen secret passages out of

 here."

 "If there are, they're bloody well still secret." Mudge

 emerged from the crawlspace he'd entered and wiped

 limestone dust from his shirt and whiskers. "Tight as a

 teenage whore. Nothin' bigger than a snake could get out

 the back way. We're safe enough here, all right." Jon-Tom

 gladly handed back the otter's bow and found himself a

 soft place on the floor.

 ' Then I guess we wait until they attack again or give up

 and leave us alone. I suppose we ought to stand watch

 tonight."

 "Allow me, suh," said Roseroar. "Ah'm as comfortable

 with the night as ah am with the day."

 "While we wait to see what they'll do," said Drom,

 "perhaps now you'll tell me what you people are doing in

 this country, so far from civilization."

 Jon-Tom sighed. "It's a long story," he told the uni-

 corn, and proceeded to relate it yet again. As he spoke, the

 sun set and the trees blended into a shadowy curtain

 outside. An occasional arrow plunked against the stone,

 more for nuisance value than out of any hope of hitting

 any of the defenders inside.

 Hathcar had indeed lost too many in the futile attack to

 try it again. He knew that if he continued to fling his

 followers uselessly against an impregnable position they

 would melt quietly away into the woods. That night he

 moved away from the main campfire and sought counsel

 from an elderly rat and wolf, the two wisest of his band.

 "So how do we pry those stinking bastards out of

 there?"

 The rat's hair was tinged with white and his face and

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 235

 arms were scarred. He picked at the dirt with one hand.

 "Why bother? Why not let them rot in there if they so

 desire? There are easier pickin's elsewhere."

 Hathcar leaned toward him, glaring in the moonlight.

 "Do you know what happened today? Do you? They made

 a fool of me. Me, Hathcar! Nobody makes a fool of

 Hathcar and walks away to boast of it, nobody! Not on

 their own legs, they don't."

 "It was just a thought," the rat mumbled. "It had to be

 said."

 "Right. It's been said. It's also been forgotten." The rat

 said nothing.

 "How about smoking them out?" suggested the wolf.

 The cuscus let out a derisive snort. "Don't you think

 they've already thought of that? If they haven't tried to

 break out, it means they aren't worried about smoke; and

 if they aren't worried about it, it probably means it won't

 work if we try it."

 "Could we," suggested the rat, "maybe force our way in

 through the roof?"

 Hathcar sighed. "You're all looking at the obvious, all

 of you. I'm the only one who can see beyond the self-

 evident. That cursed four-legs led them straight here, so

 he's probably telling the truth when he says he knows it

 well. He wouldn't box himself into a situation he wasn't

 comfortable with. He says they can slip out anytime and

 hide somewhere else twice as strong. Maybe he's lying,

 but we can't take that chance. We have to take them here,

 while we know what we're up against. That means our

 first priority is to get rid of that horned meddler."

 "How about moving a couple of archers in close?

 Those with good night vision. If they can sneak up against

 the wall they might get a clear shot inside."

 Hathcar considered. "Not bad, except that if they don't

 snuff the unicorn right away that fucking water rat's likely

 to get 'em both. I've never seen anybody shoot like that."

 He shook his head.

 236

 Alan Dean Foster

 "No, it's not good enough, Parsh. I'm sure they've got

 a guard up, and I won't send any more of the boys against

 that otter's bow. No, we have to bring the unicorn out

 somehow, far enough so we can get a clear shot at him. By

 himself, if possible."

 The rat spat on the ground. "That's likely, isn't it?"

 "You know, there may be a way."

 Hathcar frowned at the wolf. "I was only half-serious,

 Brungunt."

 "I'm wholly serious. All we need is the right kind of

 bait."

 "That blow you took in Ollorory village has addled

 your brains," said Parsh. "Nothing's going to bring that

 unicorn out where we can get at him."

 "Go on, Brungunt," said the thoughtful Hathcar.

 The wolf leaned close. "It should be done when most of

 them sleep. We must watch and smell for when the stallion

 takes his turn as sentry. If they post only the one guard, we

 may have a chance. Great care must be taken, for it will be

 a near thing, a delicate business. Bait or no bait, if the

 meddler senses our presence, I do not think he can be

 drawn out. So after we set the bait we must retreat well out

 of range. It will work, you'll see. So powerful is the bait,

 it will draw our quarry well out where we can cut off his

 retreat. Then it won't matter if he bolts into the woods.

 The important thing is that we'll be rid of him, and the

 ones we really want will be deprived of his advice and

 aid."

 "No," said Hathcar, his eyes gleaming, "no. I want

 that four-legs, too. I want him dead. Or better yet, we'll

 just hamstring him." He grinned viciously in the dark.

 "Yes, hamstring him. That's better still." He forced him-

 self from contemplation of pleasures to come. "This bait?

 Where do we get it?"

 Brungunt scratched an ear and even the skeptical Parsh

 looked interested. "First we must find a village or farm

 that numbers humans among its occupants." He was

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 237

 nodding to himself as he spoke. "This is an old, old magic

 we will work tonight, but you don't have to be a sorcerer

 to work it. It works itself. It is said by those who may

 know that a unicom may not be taken by force, but only

 by stealth and guile."

 "Get to the point," said Hathcar impatiently.

 The wolf hurried his words. "We don't have to sneak up

 on him. He'll come to us. He'll follow a maiden fair and

 true. It is said."

 Hathcar looked doubtful. "What kind of maiden? A

 coltish mare?"

 "No, no. It must be a human maiden."

 Parsh the rat was thoroughly shocked. "You expect to

 find a virgin around here? Species notwithstanding."

 "There is a town not far from this place."

 "Crestleware." Hathcar nodded.

 "We can but try," said the wolf, spreading his paws.

 "A virgin. Are you certain about this, Brungunt?"

 "The bond is supposed to be most powerful. The girl

 need only lead him far enough for us to get behind him

 before he picks up our scent. Do not ask me to explain this

 thing. I only relate what I have heard told."

 "Wouldn't cost us a one. You'd better be right about

 this, Brungunt, or I'll see your ears decorating my spear."

 "That's not fair!" protested the wolf.  "I am only

 relating a legend."

 "Look to your ears, wolf." Hathcar rose. "And tell the

 others to look to theirs. Parsh, you come with me." He

 glared at Brungunt. "We will return as quickly as possi-

 ble. This magic sounds to me like it works better in the

 dark, and I don't want to give that four legs another day to

 think of a better place." He glanced through the trees

 toward the moonlit ruins. "Hamstring him, yes. I'll see

 that damned meddler crawling to me on his knees, and

 then we'll break those as well."

 XIV

 Hathcar crouched low as he pointed toward the clearing

 in front of the silent fortress. The slim girl who stood

 next to him watched closely, her eyes wide. She had

 been awakened in the middle of the night by her mother

 and sent off in the company of this ugly stranger. She

 hadn't wanted to go, but her mother had insisted, assuring

 her it would only be until sunrise and that everything was

 all right, everything had been arranged. Then she would be

 brought home and allowed to sleep all day. And they had

 promised her candy.

 "There is the place, little one."

 "Don't call me little," she snapped. "I'm as grown up

 as you are! And my name's Silky."

 "Sorry," Hathcar growled softly, restraining himself.

 He wasn't very fond of cubs, but he needed this one's

 cooperation.

 "You're going to pay my daddy two gold pieces for

 luring out this unicorn to you. What makes you think he'll

 come out and follow me?"

 "He'll come," Hathcar assured her. "Just be nice to

 him, tell him how strong and beautiful he is."

 238

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 239

 She stared warily at the cuscus and his two companions

 out of eyes that were not as innocent as her parents insisted

 they were. "You're sure this is a unicorn you're sending

 me after?"

 "Are you sure you're a virgin?"

 "Yes, I'm sure," she said tiredly. She'd heard this

 stranger discussing the matter with her mother.

 Hathcar turned and pointed back through the woods.

 "Back this way there's a pool in a little hollow. Bring him

 there. We'll be waiting."

 "What happens when we get there?" she asked curiously.

 "None of your business, lit... Silky. Your daddy's

 being paid for your services. You do what I want you to

 and you don't ask questions."

 "Okay." She hesitated. "You're not going to hurt him,

 are you? I've never seen a unicorn, but I've been told

 they're real pretty."

 "Oh, no, no, we won't hurt him," said Hathcar smoothly.

 "We just want to surprise him. We're his friends, and we

 want to surprise him, and you won't tell him about us

 because that would ruin the surprise, wouldn't it?"

 "I guess so." She smiled brightly. "I like surprises,

 too. Can I watch when you surprise him?"'

 "Sure you can," Hathcar assured her innocently. "I

 think you'll be surprised, too." He turned to leave her,

 Brungunt and Parsh following.

 "It's dark," she said uncertainly.

 "You'll be okay," Brungunt told her. "Didn't you say

 you were a big girl?"

 "That's right, I am."

 "Fine. Just bring the four-legs down to the pool."

 "Why didn't we just abduct the little bitch?" Parsh

 wanted to know as they made their way through the woods

 to rejoin the rest of the waiting band.

 "Big village," Hathcar told him. "A good place to buy

 supplies. The price hurts, but it'll be worth it. Besides,

 240

 Alan Dean Foster

 Brungunt here said the girl had to act voluntarily or the

 magic wouldn't work."

 "That's so," the wolf agreed, nodding. "It is so told."

 "So it's better all around this way," Hathcar finished.

 Silky stood waiting, counting away the minutes to allow

 the unicorn's friends time to ready their surprise. Then she

 strolled out into the small clearing in front of the broken

 old building. She was wearing her best dress. It clung to

 her budding figure as she moved. Her mother had spent

 fifteen minutes combing out the long auburn hair to make

 certain her daughter looked her best. The old wolf had

 insisted on it.

 Two gold pieces. That would buy a lot of things for the

 family, including candy. She determined to do exactly as

 the cuscus ordered, even if he'd been lying to her about

 the surprise he was planning. After all, the horned one was

 nothing to her.

 Still, she was trembling slightly at the prospect of

 actually meeting a unicorn as she stepped out into the

 silvery moonlight. There were many stories told about the

 shy, solitary four-legs. They kept to themselves in the deep

 forest, shunning civilization and intelligent company.

 The ancient stones before her were silent. Should she

 cry out? If she did, what could she say? "Here, unicorn"?

 There was no one to advise her, since Hathcar had joined

 the rest of his friends far back in the trees, out of sight and

 scent. The old wolf had assured her she had only to

 approach the ruins and the unicorn would come to her.

 Would come and would follow back to the pool. And the

 surprise waiting there.

 She stood before the ruins and waited.

 Within, there was movement she could not see. Drom's

 head lifted, his nostrils twitching. He blinked at the bodies

 sleeping soundly around him. It was his turn on watch.

 Trotting silently so as not to disturb his newfound

 friends, he moved to one window slit and peered out.

 Standing alone in the moonlight was a small, slim figure.

 THE DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 241

 A human figure, young and pure. Ancient emotions began

 to pluck at him.

 Nodding at no one in particular, he quietly began push-

 ing at the boulder which blocked the entryway. He worked

 with care, wanting to make positive identification of the

 beckoning shape outside without waking his companions.

 When the stone had been edged to one side he walked

 through the opening and stepped out onto the grass,

 sniffing at the air, which was heavy with the girl's clean,

 sweet-smelling scent. She was alone. The night was still,

 and there was no wind to mask concealed odors.

 He walked over to the girl, who eyed him nervously and

 took a step backward.

 "Hello. You're... awfully pretty." She licked her lips,

 glanced over a shoulder once, then said confidently, "Won't

 you come and walk with me? It's a nice night in the

 forest."

 "In a minute, little one. There's something I have to do

 first." Turning, he moved back to the ruins and stuck his

 head inside, let out a soft whinny. "Wake up."

 There were stirrings on the floor. Lightest of sleepers,

 Roseroar sat up fast when she saw that the boulder defending

 them had been moved.

 "Now what?" She stared at the unicorn. "Explain

 yoself, suh." She was on her feet and heading for the

 boulder. Drom cut her off. "If they come at us now ..."

 she began warningly.

 "Relax, cat-a-mountain. They're not coming. They're

 not even watching us." Behind them, Jon-Tom and Mudge

 were also awakening.

 "How do yo know?" Roseroar was peering cautiously

 out. She saw and smelled the girl immediately, but no one

 else.

 "Because they've decided to try something else." He

 let out a soft, whinnying laugh. "By the time they realize

 this latest ploy has failed, it will be too late. We'll be long

 242

 Alan Dean Foster

 gone from this place and beyond their reach. Who among

 you is the fleetest of foot?"

 "Roseroar over the long distance, me over the short. I

 think," Jon-Tom told him sleepily, still not sure just what

 was going on.

 "Good. You and the otter climb onto my back and

 ride."

 A sweet but anxious voice sounded from outside. "Who

 are you talking to? Why don't you come out and talk with

 me?"

 "Who the 'ell is that?" Mudge rushed to a window.

 "Blimey, 'tis a girl!"

 "What?" Jon-Tom joined him, gaped at the figure standing

 in the clearing. "What's she doing here?"

 "Tempting me." Drom chuckled again. "Hathcar and

 his curs have moved out of scent range, no doubt to lie in

 wait to ambush me as I am drawn helplessly to them by

 this irresistibly pure young female."

 "I'm not sure I follow you."

 "It's part of an ancient legend, a very old magic."

 "Lousy magic," said Jon-Tom.

 "Oh, no, it's very good magic, and very true. Only not

 in my case. We're wasting time." He turned his flank to

 Jon-Tom, tilted his head low. "Can you mount by your-

 self? Use my mane for a grip if you need one."

 Jon-Tom climbed onto the broad, strong back easily,

 pulled Mudge up behind him.

 "Leave some room," Drom instructed him. "We're not

 leaving the girl here for Hathcar." He trotted outside,

 Roseroar pacing him easily while restlessly searching the

 woods for signs of their enemies.

 Silky watched them approach. Hathcar and the old wolf

 hadn't said anything about the unicorn's companions. She

 stared worriedly at the big cat loping alongside the four

 legs. The tigress could swallow her in one gulp.

 Then the unicorn was standing close and smiling down

 r

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 243

 at her over his goatee. "Do not be afraid, little one. All is

 well. How came you into mis business?"

 She hesitated before replying. "They paid my mother

 and father. They paid them two gold pieces for me to come

 with them for the night and help them surprise you."

 "Surprise me. I see," murmured Drom, nodding

 knowingly.

 "You were supposed to follow me." She turned and

 pointed. "That way, to a hollow full of water so your

 friends could surprise you."

 "And a fine surprise that would've been, wot?" growled

 Mudge softly,

 "There's been a change in plans," Drom informed her.

 "Get onto my back, in front of this handsome gentleman.

 We're taking you back to your parents. You did as requested

 and drew me out of my refuge. We're just going to take

 a little detour, that's all. So you've fulfilled your end of

 the contract, at least in part, and your parents should be

 entitled to keep whatever payment they've already re-

 ceived for your service."

 "I don't know." She scuffed the ground with one foot.

 "I didn't bring you to the pool."

 "Is that your fault?" Drom leaned close. "You don't

 really like those people out there, do you?"

 "No," she said suddenly. "No, I don't. But I had to do

 'it. I had to."

 "You are a true innocent, as you would have to be. You

 have done all you could."

 "What about my candy?" she asked petulantly.

 Jon-Tom reached down a hand. The girl took it reluctantly

 and he swung her up in front of him. Her nearness

 reminded him uncomfortably of Folly.

 Drom turned and exploded into a wild gallop, restraining

 himself only enough to allow Roseroar to keep pace.

 Jon-Tom felt confident the unicorn could carry three fully

 grown men with ease. He, the girl, and Mudge were no

 burden at all.

 244

 Alan Dean Foster

 After they'd covered several kilometers, the stallion

 slowed. Roseroar was panting hard and they had made a

 clean escape from the ruins.

 "Wish I could see those bastards' faces when they come

 lookin' for us," Mudge commented.

 "They'll be looking for this one, too." Jon-Tom smiled

 down at the other passenger, "Where's your village, little

 girl?"

 "I am not a little girl!"

 "Sorry, young lady. Where do you live?"

 She stared into the woods. Her sense of direction was

 superb. A hand gestured to the north. "That way."

 Drom nodded and changed direction as he headed down

 a gentle slope. He called back to Jon-Tom. "Will you

 continue on to Crancularn in search of your medicine, now

 that you have escaped the attentions of Hathcar's band?"

 "We must," Jon-Tom told him. "You're welcome to

 accompany us if you like."

 "Aye, mate," said Mudge. "We'd be glad of your

 help."

 "I have never been to Crancularn, though I know of it. I

 would be delighted to accompany you."

 "It's settled, then," said a pleased Jon-Tom. Not only

 was the unicorn a welcome addition to their trio, it had to

 be admitted that riding was more fun than walking.

 By morning they were at the outskirts of the girl's

 village. Cultivated fields surrounded the town. Jon-Tom let

 her down gently.

 "I didn't do all I was supposed to do," she muttered

 uneasily.

 "You did all you could. It's not your fault that their plan

 didn't work."

 The town was enclosed by a strong wooden palisade and

 looked more than capable of withstanding an attack by any

 angry bunch of bandits. He didn't think Hathcar would try

 to take revenge for his failure against the girl or her

 parents.

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 245

 "I still think you're pretty," the girl said to Drom.

 "Can I kiss you good-bye? That's supposed to be good

 luck."

 Drom smacked his lips with evident distaste. "I'd prefer

 you didn't, but if you must." He dropped his head, stood

 still for a buss just below the right eye.

 "Gen!" he muttered as she pulled away. "Now be on

 your way, human, and count yourself fortunate this night."

 "Good-bye, unicorn. Good-bye, strangers." She was

 still waving at them as they disappeared back into the

 forest.

 No armed mob of angry, frustrated bandits materialized

 to interrupt their progress as they swung back to the west.

 With luck it would be midday before Hathcar finally

 realized his plans had fallen through and ventured to check

 on the ruins.

 "I think I understand what was going on," Jon-Tom

 murmured. "The girl was a virgin."

 " 'Ere now, mate," Mudge protested, "I've been around

 meself, but even I can't tell for certain just by lookin'."

 "She'd have to have been for it to fit." He glanced

 down at their mount. "She was a virgin, wasn't she,

 Drom?" Roseroar looked on curiously.

 "The sight and scent of her suggested so," the stallion

 replied.

 "I read something somewhere about the attentions of a

 virgin girl being irresistible to a unicorn."

 "An ancient and more-or-less accurate notion, which

 Hathcar was counting on to draw me out. They would have

 succeeded with their plan except for ignorance of one

 fact."

 "Wot fact, mate?" Mudge asked.

 Drom turned to look back at the otter. "I'm gay." He

 increased his pace.

 "Uh, 'ere now, mate, maybe we'd all be better off

 walkin' after all."

 246

 Man Dean Foster

 THE DAY or THE DISSONANCE

 247

 "Nonsense. We are still not far enough away from

 Hathcar's troop to chance slowing down."

 "That's debatable. Besides, there's no need for you to

 keep on carryin' us about like this. Don't want to make

 you uncomfortable or nothin'."

 "It sounds to me as though you are the one who is

 feeling uneasy, otter."

 "Wot, me? Not me, guv'nor. It's just that I—"

 "What's wrong with you, Mudge?" Jon-Tom asked

 him. "I thought you'd be glad of the chance to rest your

 precious feet."

 "Relax, otter," the stallion said. "You are not my type.

 Now if you happened to be a Percheron, or a Clydesdale,

 or maybe a shire..." He let the images trail off.

 "If you have to worry about something, think about

 Hathcar," Jon-Tom instructed the otter.

 Mudge did so, though he still kept a wary eye on their

 mount. Later, his confusion was broken by the sound of

 distant thunder. Or perhaps it was only a bellow of

 outrage.

 Silky's parents kept the money already paid to them by

 Hathcar, and as Jon-Tom surmised, the cuscus did not try

 to take it back by force from the heavily defended town.

 There seemed no way for him to vent his rage and

 frustration until it occurred to him that since the girl had

 truly done her best, if anything she actually deserved a

 bonus.

 So it was that while Silky did not get her much-desired

 candy, she was the only girl in the village who could look

 forward to the coming winter confidently, clad as she was

 in her brand-new wolfskin coat.

 The travelers stopped in late afternoon. The roast that

 Mudge had risked his life to salvage was almost gone, but

 Roseroar soon brought in enough fresh food for all. Drom

 nibbled contentedly at a nearby field of petal pedals. Each

 blue-and-pink flower produced a different musical note

 when it was munched.

 Mudge ate close to Jon-Tom. "Don't it bother you,

 mate?"

 "Don't... doesn't what bother me?"

 The otter nodded toward the unicorn. " 'Im."

 Jon-Tom bit into his steak. The meat was succulent and

 rich with flavor. "He saved us once and might save us

 again. As for his personal sexual preferences, I could care

 less. He'd be downright inconspicuous on Hollywood

 Boulevard."

 "Well, maybe you're right. Now, me, I knew it from

 the first. The way 'e minced out of the woods toward us."

 Drom overheard, lifted his muzzle, and said with digni-

 ty, "I do not mince, otter. I prance." He looked at

 Jon-Tom. "You really believe your former acquaintances

 will beat you to Crancularn and to the medicine you have

 come for?"

 "I hope not, but I fear it. They stole our only map."

 "That is a small loss. Do not regret it." The unicorn

 crunched a clump of purple ortnods with petals the shade

 . of enameled amethyst. The flowers hummed as they were

 consumed. "I can guide you there."

 "We were told it moves around."

 "Only in one's imagination. There are those who stum-

 ble through it without seeing it, or circle 'round it as if

 blind. So they say it has moved. It does not move, but to

 find it you must wish to. I know. I was told by those who

 could know. I will lead you to Crancularn."

 "That's bleedin' wonderful," Mudge confessed aloud.

 He was mad at himself. There was no reason for him to be

 nervous or wary in the unicorn's presence. Drom was a

 likable chap, wasn't he, and Mudge didn't look in the least

 like a shire horse, did he? And hadn't he always been told

 never to look a gift unicorn in the mouth? He was upset

 with himself.

 Hadn't the four-legs carried himself and Jon-Tom all this

 way from Hathcar's territory without complaining? Why,

 with him galloping along and the rest of them taking turns

 248

 Alan Dean Poster

 riding him, they might yet overtake that prick Jalwar and

 his whore of a helpmate Folly.

 They made rapid progress westward, but still there was

 no sign of their former friends.

 When they finally found themselves on the outskirts of

 Crancularn itself, Jon-Tom found it hard to believe. He'd

 half come to think of the town as existing only in

 Clothahump's imagination. Yet there it was.

 Yes, there it was, and after too many close calls with

 death, after crossing the Muddletup Moors and the Glittergeist

 Sea and innumerable hills and vales, he was more than a

 little discouraged by the sight of it.

 The setting was impressive enough: a heavily forested

 slope that climbed the flank of a slowly smoking volcano.

 The town itself, however, was about as awe-inspiring as

 dirty, homey Lynchbany. Tumble-down shacks and ram-

 shackle two-and three-story buildings of wood and mud

 crowded close to one another as if fearful of encountering the

 sunlight. A dirty fog clung to the streets and the angular,

 slate-roofed structures. As they headed toward the town, a

 familiar odor made his nostrils contract: the thick musk of

 the unwashed of many species mixed with the stink of an

 open sewer system. His initial excitement was rapidly

 fading.

 Massive oaks and sycamores grew within the town

 itself, providing more shade where none was required and

 sometimes even shouldering buildings aside. Jon-Tom was

 about to ask Drom if perhaps they might have come to the

 wrong place when the unicorn reared back on its hind

 hooves and nearly dumped him and Mudge to the ground.

 Roseroar snarled as she assumed a defensive posture.

 Coming straight at them, belching smoke and bellowing

 raggedly, was a three-footed demon. A rabbit rode the

 demon's back. This individual wore a wide-brimmed felt

 hat; a long-sleeved shirt of muslin, open halfway; and a

 short mauve skirt similar to the kilts favored by the

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 249

 intelligent arboreals of this world. His enormous feet were

 unshod.

 The demon slowed as it approached. Jon-Tom drew in a

 deep breath as it stopped in front of him and hastened to

 reassure his companions. "It's all right. It can't harm

 you."

 "How do yo know, Jon-Tom?" Roseroar kept her hands

 on her sword hilts.

 "Because I know what it is. It's a Honda ATC Offroad

 Three-wheeler." He admired the red-painted demon. "Au-

 tomatic too. I didn't know Honda made an ATC with

 automatic."

 "Funny name for a demon," Mudge was muttering.

 "Hiya," said the rabbit cheerfully, revving the engine.

 "Can I help you folks?"

 "You sure can." Jon-Tom pointed at the ATC. "Where'd

 you get that?"

 The rider raced the motor and Drom shied away. "From

 the Shop of the Aether and Neither. Where else?"

 Jon-Tom felt a burst of excitement. Maybe Clothahump

 was right. The inexplicable presence of the ATC in this

 world was proof enough that powerful magic was at work

 here.

 "That's where we want to go."

 "Figures," said the rabbit. "Nice of you to drop in. We

 don't get a lot of visitors here in Crancularn. For some

 reason, travelers avoid us."

 "Might be your wonderful reputation," Mudge told

 him.

 The rabbit eyed them appraisingly. "Strangers. Don't

 know if Snooth will serve you. She don't get much

 business from outsiders." He shrugged. "Ain't none of my

 business, your business."

 "Who's Snooth?" Jon-Tom asked him.

 "The proprietress. Of the Shop of the Aether and

 Neither." He looked back over his shoulder, pointed. "Go

 through town and stay on the north trail that winds around

 25O

 Alan Dean Poster

 the base of the mountain. Snooth's place is around the side

 a ways." He turned back to inspect them a last time.

 "You're a weird-looking bunch. I don't know what

 you've come to buy, but you'll need all the luck you can

 muster to pry anything out of Snooth's stock. And no, you

 can't have one of my feet to help you." He put the

 all-terrain vehicle in gear and roared off into the woods,

 the ATC popping and growling.

 "I still say it were a demon," Mudge muttered.

 "No demon, just a machine. From my world."

 "Ah'd dislike being a resident o' yoah world, then, Jon-

 Tom." Roseroar made a face. "Such noise. And that

 smell!"

 It had to have been conjured, Jon-Tom knew. Conjured

 by a magic even more powerful than Clothahump's. His

 heart raced. If this Snooth could bring something as solid

 as the ATC into this world, something lifted from a

 dealership in Kyoto or L.A. or Toronto, then perhaps she

 could also send things back to such places.

 Things like himself.

 He didn't dare dwell on that possibility as they made

 their way through town. For the most part, the busy, bored

 citizenry ignored them. Many of them were using or

 playing with otherworldly devices. Jon-Tom began to have

 second thoughts about his chances of being sent home.

 Maybe this Snooth was no sorceress but just some local

 shopkeeper who happened to have stumbled onto some

 kind of one-way transdimensional gate or something.

 Mudge pointed out a traveling minstrel. The diminutive

 musical mouse was plinking out a very respectable polka

 not on a duar or handlebar lyre or bark flute but on a

 Casiotone 8500 electronic keyboard. Jon-Tom wondered

 what the mouse was using for batteries.

 Not all the devices in use were recognizably from his

 own world. The sign over a fishmonger's stall was a

 rotating globe of red and white lambent light that spelled

 out the shop's name and alternated it with that of the

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 251

 owner. There appeared to be nothing supporting the globe.

 As they stared, the globe twisted into the shape of a fish,

 then into the outlines of females of various species in

 provocative poses. Sex sells, Jon-Tom reminded himself.

 Even fish. He walked over to stand directly underneath the

 globe. There was no source of support or power, much less

 a visible explanation for its photonic malleability. One

 thing he was sure of: it hadn't come from his own world.

 Neither had the device they saw an old mandrill using to

 cut wood. It had a handle similar to that of a normal metal

 saw, but instead of a length of serrated steel the handle was

 attached to a shiny bar no more than a quarter-inch in

 diameter. The baboon would hitch up his gloves, choose a

 piece of wood, put both hands on the handle and touch the

 thin bar to the log. It would cut through like butter.

 There were other worlds, then, and this Snooth appar-

 ently had access to goods from many of them. As they

 made their way through the town, he thought back to his

 companion's reaction to the ATC. To someone unfamiliar

 with internal combustion devices on a world where magic

 held sway, it certainly must have looked and sounded like

 a demon. Crancularn was full of such alien machines. No

 wonder it had acquired an unwholesome reputation.

 But the townsfolk themselves were open and friendly

 enough. In that they were no different from the inhabitants

 of the other cities and villages Jon-Tom had visited. As for

 their blase" acceptance of otherworldly devices, there was

 nothing very extraordinary about that. People, no matter

 their shape or size or species, were infinitely adaptable.

 Only a hundred years ago in his own world, a hand-held

 television or calculator watch would have seemed like

 magic even to sophisticated citizens, who nonetheless

 would have made use of them enthusiastically.

 For that matter, how many of his contemporaries actual-

 ly understood what made a computer tick or instant replay

 possible? People had a way of just accepting the workings of

 252

 Alan Dean Foster

 everyday machinery they didn't understand, whether it was

 powered by alkaline batteries or arcane spells.

 Then they were leaving the town again, fog drifting lazily

 around them. They had attracted no more than an occa-

 sional cursory glance from the villagers. Huge trees hugged

 the fertile lower slopes of the volcano, which simmered

 quietly and unthreateningly above them.

 Inquiries in town had produced no mention of visitors

 resembling Jalwar or Folly. Either the two had lost their

 way or else with Drom's aid they had already passed the

 renegade pair in the woods. Jon-Tom experienced a pang of

 regret. He still wasn't completely convinced of Folly's

 complicity in the theft of the map.

 No time for that now. The rabbit on the ATC implied

 they might have trouble purchasing what they wanted from

 this Snooth. Jon-Tom struggled to compose a suitably ef-

 fective speech. AH they needed was a little bit of medicine.

 Nothing so complex as a malleable globe or toothless saw.

 His hand went to the tiny vial dangling from the chain

 around his neck. Inside was the formula for the desperately

 needed medicine. He hadn't brought it this far to be turned

 away empty-handed.

 There was no sign, no posted proclamations to advertise

 the shop's presence. They turned around a cluster of oaks,

 and there it was, a simple wooden building, one story

 high. It was built up against the rocks. A single wooden

 door was set square in the center of the storefront, which

 was shaded by a broad, covered porch.

 A couple of high-backed rocking chairs sat on the

 porch, unoccupied. Wooden shingles in need of repair

 covered the sloping roof that likewise ran up into the

 rocks. Jon-Tom estimated the entire building enclosed no

 more than a thousand square feet of space. Hardly large

 enough for store and home combined.

 As they drew close, a figure emerged from inside and

 settled into the farther rocking chair. The chair creaked as

 it rocked. The tall kangaroo wore a red satin vest which

 THE DAY op THE DISSONANCE

 253

 blended with her own natural rust color and, below, a kilt

 similar in style to the rabbit's. There were pockets and a

 particularly wide one directly in front to permit the owner

 access to her pouch. Jon-Tom stared at the lower belly but

 was unable to tell if the female was carrying a joey, though

 once he thought he saw something move. But he couldn't

 be sure, and since he was ignorant of macropodian eti-

 quette, he thought it best not to inquire.

 She also wore thick hexagonal granny glasses and a

 heavy necklace of turquoise, black onyx, and malachite. A

 matching bracelet decorated her right wrist, and she puffed

 slowly on a corncob pipe which was switched periodically

 from one side of her mouth to the other.

 He halted at the bottom of the porch steps, "Are you the

 one they call Snooth?"

 "I expect I am," the kangaroo replied, "since I'm the

 only one around here by that name." She took her pipe

 from her lips and regarded them thoughtfully. "You folks

 aren't from around here. What can I do for you?"

 "We've undertaken one hell of a shopping trip," Jon-

 Tom told her.

 She sighed. "I was afraid of that. Just when I got

 myself all nice and comfortable. Well, that's par for the

 course."

 Jon-Tom's eyes grew wide. "That's an expression of

 my world."

 "Is it? I traffic with so many I sometimes get confused.

 Sure as the gleebs are on the fondike."

 Jon-Tom decided to tread as lightly as possible, bearing

 the rabbit's admonition in mind. "We don't want to

 disturb you. We could come back tomorrow." He tried to

 see past her, into the store. "You haven't by any chance

 had a couple of other out-of-town customers in recently,

 have you? An old ferret, maybe accompanied by a human

 female?" He held his breath.

 The kangaroo scratched under her chin with her free

 hand. "Nope. No one of that description. In fact, I haven't

 r

 254

 Alan Dean Foster

 had any local out-of-town customers stop by in some

 time."

 Forbearing to inquire into the nature of a local out-of-

 towner, which seemed to Jon-Tom to be a contradiction in

 terms, he permitted himself a moment of silent exultation.

 They'd done it! With Drom's help they'd succeeded in

 beating Jalwar to Crancularn. Now he could relax. The

 object of their long, arduous journey was almost in his

 grasp.

 He turned to leave. "We don't want to upset your siesta.

 We'll come back tomorrow."

 A small brown shape pushed past him. Mudge took

 up an aggressive stance on the lowest step. "Now let's

 'old on a minim 'ere, guv'nor." The otter fixed the

 proprietress with a jaundiced eye. "This 'ere dump is

 the place I've been 'earin' about for weeks? This

 cobbled-together wreck is the marvelous, the wondrous,

 the magnificent Shop o' the Aether and Neither? And

 you're the owner?"

 The kangaroo nodded.

 "Well," announced Mudge in disgust, "it sure as 'ell

 don't look like much to me."

 "Mudge!" Jon-Tom angrily grabbed the otter by his

 shoulder.

 The kangaroo, however, did not appear upset. "Ap-

 pearances can be deceiving, my fuzzy little cousin." She

 turned to face Jon-Tom as she stood on enormous, power-

 ful feet. She was as tall as he was. The rickety porch

 boards squeaked under her weight.

 "I can tell just by looking at you that you've come a

 long ways to do your shopping. Except for the Crancularni-

 ans, most of my customers travel far to buy from me,

 some by means most devious. Some I sell to, others I do

 not." She turned and pointed toward a thin scrawl on a

 worn piece of wood that was nailed over the doorway. The

 sign said:

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE    255

 WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE SERVICE TO ANYTHING

 "It's not for ourselves that we come seeking your

 help," Jon-Tom told her. "We're here at the behest of a

 great wizard who lives in the forest of the Bellwoods, far

 across the Glittergeist Sea. His name's Clothahump."

 "Clothahump." Eyes squinted in reflection behind the

 granny glasses. She put out a hand, palm facing down-

 ward, and positioned it some four feet above the porch.

 "Turtle, old gentleman, about yea high?"

 Jon-Tom nodded vigorously. "That's him. You've met

 him?"

 "Nope. But I know of him by reputation. As wizard's

 go, he's up near the top." This revelation impressed even

 the skeptical Mudge, who'd always thought of Ciothahump

 as no better than a talented fakir verging on senility who

 just happened to get lucky once in a while. "What's

 wrong with him?"

 Jon-Tom fumbled with the vial around his neck, removed

 the small piece of paper from within. "He says he's dying,

 and he's in terrible pain. He says this can cure him."

 Snooth took the fragment, adjusted her glasses, and read.

 Her lips moved as she digested the paper's information. "Yes,

 yes...I believe I have this in stock." She glanced back at

 Jen-Tom. "Your devotion to your mentor does you credit."

 Which made him feel more than a little guilty, since the

 main reason he'd undertaken the journey was to protect his

 only chance of returning home by ensuring Clothahump's

 continued good health.

 "You overpraise my altruism."

 "I think not." She stared at him in the most peculiar

 fashion. "You are better than you give yourself credit for.

 That is why you would make a good adjudicator. Your

 good instincts outweigh your common sense."

 For the second time since arriving at the store Jon-Tom's

 eyes widened. "How did you know that I was studying to

 be a lawyer?"

 256

 Alan Dean Foster

 "Lucky guess," said Snooth absently, dismissing the

 matter despite Jon-Tom's desire to pursue it further. She

 held out the paper with the formula written on it. "May I

 hold on to this?"

 Jon-Tom shrugged. "Why not? It's the medicine we

 need."

 Snooth tucked the paper neatly into her pouch. Again

 Jon-Tom thought he saw something moving about within.

 If Snooth was carrying a joey, it was evidently either too

 immature or too shy to show itself.

 "Come on in." She turned and pushed wide the door.

 Her visitors mounted the steps and crossed the porch.

 The front room of the building was furnished in simple

 kaleidoscopic style. To one side was another rocking chair,

 only instead of being fashioned of wood it was composed

 of transparent soap bubbles clinging to a thin metal frame.

 The bubbles were moving in slow motion and looked fragile

 and ready to burst.

 "Surely you don't sit in that?" Roseroar said.

 "Wouldn't be much use for anything else. Like to try

 it?"

 "Ah couldn't," the tigress protested. "Ah'd bust it as

 well as mah tail end."

 -  "Maybe not," said the kangaroo with quiet confidence.

 Reluctantly, Roseroar accepted the challenge, turning to

 set herself gently into the chair. The soap bubbles gave

 under her weight but did not break, nor did the thin metal

 frame. And the bubbles kept moving, massaging the chair's

 new occupant with a gentle sliding motion. A rich throbbing

 purr filled the room.

 "How much?" Roseroar inquired.

 "Sorry. That's a demo model. Not for sale."

 "Come on, Roseroar," Jon-Tom told her. "That's not

 what we came for." She abandoned the caressing chair

 sadly.

 As they crossed the room, Jon-Tom had time to notice a

 circular recording device, a heatless stove, and a number

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 257

 of utterly alien machines scattered among the familiar.

 Snooth led them through another doorway barred by opaque

 ceramic strips that hung in midair and into a back store

 room filled with broken, jumbled goods. A bathroom was

 visible off to the left.

 A second suspended curtain admitted them to the store.

 Jon-Tom's brain went blank. He heard Roseroar hiss

 next to him and even the always voluble Mudge was at a

 loss for words. Drom inhaled sharply in surprise.

 As near as they could tell, the shop filled the whole

 inside of the mountain.

 XV

 Ahead of them was an aisle flanked by long metal shelves.

 The multiple shelving rose halfway to the forty-foot-high

 ceiling and was crammed with boxed, crated, and clear-

 packaged goods. Jon-Tom saw only a few empty slots. The

 shelving and the aisle between ran away into the distance

 until all three seemed to meet at some distant vanishing

 point.

 He turned and stared to his left. Shelves and aisles

 marched off into the distance as far as he could see. He

 looked right and saw a mirror image of the view on his left.

 "I never dreamed..." he began, only to be interrupted

 by the proprietress.

 "Oh, but you have dreamed, shopper. Everyone dreams."

 She gestured with a negligent wave. "There are a lot of

 worlds in the plenum. Some produce a lot of goods for

 sale, others only a few. I try to keep up with what the major

 dimensions are doing. It isn't an easy job, being a shopkeeper.

 There's one place where time runs backwards. Plays hell

 with my inventory."

 Jon-Tom continued to gape at the endless rows. "How

 258

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 259

 do you know what you've got here, let alone where it's

 located?"

 "Oh, we're very up-to-date in the store." From a side

 pocket she extracted a length of bright blue metal six

 inches long and two and half an inches thick. A transparent

 facing ran the length of it. There were no buttons or

 switches visible.

 "Pocket computer." She showed it to Jon-Tom. As he

 watched, words scrolled rapidly across the face. Lan-

 guages and script changed as he stared. Twice Snooth

 turned it vertically and the words scrolled from top to

 bottom. Several times they reversed and traveled from

 right to left. Once there were no letters at all, only colors

 changing in sequence. Once there was only music.

 "Thought-activated. Handy little gadget. Bought it from

 a place whose location can't be determined, only inferred.

 Very talented folks there. See?"

 A chemical formula appeared on the transparent facing

 and froze in position. A long numerical sequence appeared

 below it.

 "Down this way." Snooth hopped off to her left, even-

 tually turned down an aisle.

 Roseroar stared at the endless ranks of goods. "How

 many shelves do y'all have down heah?"

 "Can't really say," the kangaroo replied. "It changes

 all the time."

 "You run this whole place by yourself?" Jon-Tom asked her.

 She nodded. "You get used to it. I like stockwork, and

 the perks are good."

 "How far is the medicine?"

 "Not far. Only about half a day's hop. Any longer and

 I'd have paused to pack us a meal or dig out a scooter."

 "Is that anything like the Honda ATC we saw one of

 your customers riding around outside of town?"

 "That'd be Foharfa's toy. He's going to break his neck

 on that thing one of these days. No, a scooter's just an

 260

 Alan Dean Poster

 inertialess disc. You guide it by sensing your relationship

 to the local planetary magnetic field."

 Jon-Tom swallowed. "I'm afraid I don't have a license

 to drive anything like that."

 "No matter. I'm enjoying the walk."

 "Can we buy one to get us 'ome, maybe?" Mudge

 asked hopefully.

 "Sorry. I've none in general stock. Besides, I make it a

 rule not to let certain goods travel beyond Crancularn. The

 world's a complicated enough place as it is. You can

 overtechnologize magic if you're not careful."

 "Looks like your business is rather slow," observed

 Drom.

 Snooth shrugged in mid-hop. "I'm not looking to get

 rich, unicorn. I just like the business, that's all. Besides,

 it's a good way to keep up with what's going on in the

 greater cosmos. Goods are better than gossip and more

 honest reflections of what's happening elsewhere than

 official news pronouncements and zeeways."

 "Must be 'ard on profits," Mudge commented.

 "That depends on what kind of profit you're trying to

 make, otter."

 Jon-Tom eyed the kangaroo uneasily. "That's a funny

 thing for a shopkeeper to say. Are you sure you aren't

 some kind of sorceress yourself?"

 "Who, me?" Snooth appeared genuinely shocked. "Not

 I, sir. Too many responsibilities, too many regulations

 attached to the profession. I prefer my present employ-

 ment, thank you. And the cost-of-living in Crancularn is

 low." A pause, then, "What about this ferret and girl you

 referred to earlier?"

 "They were traveling with us," Jon-Tom explained.

 "We had an unfortunate parting of the ways."

 "Unfortunate, 'ell!" Mudge rumbled. "The dirty bug-

 gers stole our map, they did, and it were only by dint o'

 good luck and this spellsinger's determination and this

 one-horn's knowledge o' the lay o' the land that we ...!"

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 261

 Snooth interrupted him, smiling at Jon-Tom. "So you

 are a spellsinger? I noticed the duar you carry right off, but

 I imagined you to be no more than a traveling musician."

 "I'm still an amateur," Jon-Tom confessed. "I'm still

 learning how to control my abilities."

 "I think one day you will, though I sense you still have

 along way logo."

 "It's just that it's so new to me. The magic, not the

 music. Everything's so new to me. I'm not of this world."

 "I know. You smell of elsewhere. Do not let your

 transposition faze you. Newness is life's greatest pleasure

 and delight." She indicated the shelves wailing them in.

 "Every new product I encounter is a source of wonder-

 ment to me."

 "1 wish I could share your enthusiasm. But I can't help

 my homesickness. You can't, by any chance, send me

 home by the same means you use to stock your goods?"

 he asked hopefully.

 "I am truly sorry," Snooth told him softly, and it struck

 him that she was. "This is only a receive-and-disperse

 operation. I can only ship products, not people."

 Jon-Tom slumped. "Well, it's no more than what I

 expected. Clothahump said as much."

 "You must tell me about your travels. Oddly, I know

 more about many other worlds than about this one. The

 result of being tied to my business."

 So partly to please her and partly to help relieve his own

 disappointment, Jon-Tom regaled her with a recitation of

 the adventures they had experienced during their long

 journey. It took at least the half day Snooth had claimed

 before she finally called the march to a halt. Jon-Tom

 looked down the aisle. They stili were not in sight of its

 end.

 Strange medications filled bottles and jars and contain-

 ers of unfamiliar material. The twenty-foot-high shelves

 they had halted before represented a cosmological phar-

 macopia. Jon-Tom made out pills and drops, salves and

 262

 Alan Dean Foster

 unguents, bandages and bindings, scattered among less

 recognizable items.

 Snooth regarded the shelving for a moment, consulted

 her blue metal bar, and hopped a few yards farther down

 the aisle. Then she climbed one of the motorized ladders

 that ran from the topmost shelf to tracks cut in the stone

 floor and ascended the shelving halfway.

 "Here we are," she said, sounding gratified. She opened

 an ordinary cardboard box and removed a small plastic

 container. "Only one. I'll have to restock this item. I don't

 have the room to keep more than one of any item on the

 shelves. There are instructions on the side which I presume

 your wizard will know how to interpret."

 "I'm sure he will," Jon-Tom said, reaching relievedly

 for the container.

 "Stop right there, please."

 Jon-Tom whirled. Roseroar growled and reached for her

 swords as Mudge tried to ready his longbow.

 "Don't!"

 A figure emerged from behind a translucent crate

 containing frozen flowers and came toward them. In his

 hands Jalwar held something resembling a multiple cross-

 bow. At least three dozen lethal-looking little darts were

 clustered in concentric circles at the tip of the weapon.

 "Poison. Enough to kill all of you at once. Even you,

 mistress of long teeth." Roseroar continued to glower at

 the new arrival, but let her paws fall slowly from the hilts

 of her swords.

 "A wise decision," Jalwar told her.

 Jon-Tom was staring past him. "Folly. Where's Folly?"

 When the ferret did not immediately reply, Jon-Tom felt a

 surge of excitement despite the precariousness of the

 situation. "So she didn't go with you voluntarily, did

 she!"

 "No." Jalwar made the admission indifferently. "But

 she came, and that was all I required. I needed assistance

 in hauling rudimentary supplies, and she struck me as the

 THE DAY or THE DISSOJKAJVCE

 263

 easiest of all of you to manipulate. As a beast of burden

 she proved adequate." He smiled thinly, enjoying himself.

 "Then, too, the destruction of innocence has always appealed

 to me, and she still had a little left."

 Jon-Tom struggled to restrain himself. He didn't for a

 second doubt the lethality of those multiple darts or Jalwar's

 willingness to employ them.

 "Where is she? What have you done with her?"

 "In good time I will tell you, my impetuous blind

 friend." The ferret cocked an eye toward Snooth. "So that

 is the precious medicine our friend Clothahump requires so

 desperately. How interesting. I suddenly feel the need for

 some medication myself. You, proprietress! I'll take that

 container, if you don't mind."

 "Take a 'elluva lot more than that to cure wot ails you,

 mate," said Mudge insultingly.

 "You think so, do you? Yet I am not so sick that I have

 failed to outwit you all. I did not think you would make it

 here without the map, and in my confidence I slowed my

 approach. I thought in any event that with the aid of my

 help I would always know your location. Indeed, without

 that help I would not have been able to rush in close on

 your heels and track your progress within this place from

 two aisles over."

 "What help?" Jon-Tom asked warily.

 "Now, be that the right tone with which to greet an old

 comrade, man?" said a voice Jon-Tom had hoped never to

 hear again. He turned to his right.

 "Corroboc."

 The parrot executed a half bow. ' 'It be right good of you

 to remember me name. That singing magic you worked on

 me ship, that be my fault for not guessing you had more

 than entertainment for old Corroboc in mind. But I'm not

 the one to dwell on old regrets. No, not I, even though me

 worthless crew chose a new captain and set me adrift

 barely within flying range o' the mainland.

 "There I found your strange boat and picked up your

 264

 Alan Dean Foster

 trail. I knew o' your aims and thought somehow to follow

 until 1 found a way o' repayin' you all for your kindnesses

 to me. In the forest I saw two of you leave from the rest."

 He nodded toward Jalwar.

 "When I saw the respect with which he were treatin' me

 old friend Folly, I thought to meself, now here be one after

 me own heart. So I settled down for a chat, and after an

 exchange of pleasantries me and the good ferret here, we

 came to an understandin', har."

 "That bird will cut out our hearts and dance on them,"

 Roseroar whispered to Jon-Tom. "We might as well rush

 them now."

 "Steady on, you oversized bit o' fluff," Mudge warned

 her. "All the cards 'aven't been dealt yet, wot?"

 "Whisper all you want," snapped Jalwar. "It will avail

 you naught."

 Corroboc pulled a short, thin sword from the flying

 scabbard slung at his waist. Holes in the blade made it

 light and strong. He caressed the flat side of the blade

 lovingly.

 "Many days have I had to anticipate the pleasures of our

 reunion. I beg you not to provoke me new friend lest he

 put an end to you all too quick. I want our meeting to be a

 memorable experience for all. Aye, memorable! You see,

 I've no ship, no crew anymore. All I have left to me be

 this moment, which I don't want to hurry."

 Realization rushed in on Jon-Tom as he turned on

 Jalwar. "You work for Zancresta, don't you? You've been

 working for Zancresta from the first! Running into you on

 the northern shore of the Glittergeist was no coincidence.

 Those brigands weren't attacking you. It was all a ploy to

 let you worm yourself into our company."

 "An apt metaphor, Jon-Tom," said Roseroar.

 "Tell me something," Jon-Tom went on quietly. "How

 much is Zancresta paying you to keep this medicine from

 Clothahump?"

 The ferret burst out laughing, though the business end of

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 265

 the strange weapon he held did not waver. "Paying me?

 You idiots! Spellsinger? Pah! / am Zancresta! Wizard of

 Malderpot, supreme master of the arcane arts, diviner of

 the unknown and parter of the shrouds! Fools, beggars of a

 humble knowledge, you are blinder than the troglodytes of

 Tatrath and dumber than the molds that grub out an

 existence in the cracks between the stones."

 The ferret seemed to swell in their eyes as they stared,

 though neither his size nor shape actually changed. But the

 curved spine stiffened, the voice was no longer shaky, and

 an inner unholy light emanated from suddenly bottomless

 eyes while a barely perceptible dark aura sprang to malev-

 olent life around him.

 "I didn't think you'd get this far, none of you! But

 where a spellsinger, however inept, is involved, there are

 never any assurances. So when you escaped from Malderpot

 and my servants lost you in the woods, I determined to

 find you myself. Your bold and unforeseen move into the

 Muddletup Moors confused me, I must admit. But only for

 a time, and I was just able to intercept you on the shores of

 the Glittergeist and execute my little charade.

 "I did not think I would be with you long, but luck and

 false fortune seemed to follow you wherever you went.

 Across the ocean, on this kindred spirit's vessel, even into

 the land of the bellicose enchanted folk. When you not

 only managed your release from their hands but induced

 them to assist you with a map, I determined to press on

 ahead on my own to seek out this Shop of the Aether and

 Neither and buy up all the necessary medicine before you

 could arrive.

 "And again you surprised me, not out of cleverness or

 insight, but through blind luck. So Corroboc and I paral-

 leled your progress through this bloated emporium of

 useless goods, he flying above to check periodically on

 your position, until you kindly located the object of the

 quest for me. Which I will now take possession of." He

 glanced up at Snooth.

 266

 Alan Dean Foster

 "I do not think she has in hand a device or medicine

 that can save her from the fast-acting effects of hruth

 venom. Once that container has been handed over I will

 relieve you of your weapons and leave you to the tender

 attentions of my patient friend. Perhaps he will grow bored

 before all of you are dead." Corroboc made neat, thin

 slices in one of his own feathers with the razor-sharp

 sword while Zancresta looked suddenly wistful.

 "Ah, the day that I stand at that fat fraud's bedside,

 holding the precious medicine he so desperately requires

 just beyond his feeble reach, making him plead and beg

 for it, that will be a day of triumph indeed."

 "What have you done with Folly!"

 Zancresta came back from his private reverie. "Ah, my

 pack animal and my insurance. I have never feared you,

 spellsinger, but your talents act in ways wayward and

 unpredictable. Sometimes it is awkward to deal with such

 implausibilities, and I do worry some on the impetuous

 nature of your companions.

 "Knowing of your insipidly tender nature, I took care to

 keep the girl tightly under my control, lest she foolishly try

 to run to you for misguided salvation."

 "You hypnotized her?"

 "I am unfamiliar with the term, but if you mean did I

 blur her simple mind in order to make her compliant, yes.

 I no longer have need of her as crude labor or as insurance

 against your actions, however." He pointed down the

 aisle.

 "These shelves reach far back into the mountain, which

 you may have noticed is of volcanic origin. I would

 presume that each aisle ends in a fairly hot place. Perhaps

 the proprietress stores goods back there that require con-

 stant heat. Being of a warm nature myself, I dismissed the

 girl and bid her wander down to the end of the aisle. She

 acquired on Corroboc's ship a dark coloration which I

 venture to say will change rapidly to red as she stumbles

 into the hot center of this mountain."

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 267

 Jon-Tom took a step backward and Zancresta raised his

 peculiar multiple dart-thrower. "Let her go. She is nothing."

 There was a flash of gold from behind Roseroar. Again

 Zancresta raised the weapon, but a feathery hand came

 down on his arm.

 "Nay, let the horned one go," snarled Corroboc. "I've

 no real quarrel with him. He won't be in time to save the

 girl and I want these three left alive and conscious." He

 started toward the ladder, sword in one hand, the other

 outstretched toward Snooth. "The medicine, if you please,

 hag."

 "As you wish."

 "No!" Jon-Tom shouted. "Don't give it to him!"

 The kangaroo's reply was firm. "I am not a party to

 what is a private quarrel. This is between you and him."

 She handed over the precious container. "Here, catch." At

 the last instant she tossed it toward the pirate captain.

 Corroboc grabbed for the small plastic cylinder and

 missed. It struck the floor, vaporizing instantly and spitting

 out a thick cloud of black smoke.

 Jon-Tom threw himself sideways and down. The dart-

 thrower twanged and something struck his boot while

 others thunked harmlessly into the back of his thick snake-

 skin cape. He heard no screams of pain and prayed that his

 friends had also managed to dodge Zancresta's weapon.

 He started to rise, preparing to do battle with his staff,

 when it occurred to him that in a hand-to-hand fight

 Roseroar's swords and Mudge's bow would be more effec-

 tive, and that, in any case, they had a sorcerer to deal with

 now. So he put the ramwood aside and fumbled with the

 duar. An old Moody Blues tune came to mind, suitable for

 combating evil. He played and sang.

 It had its intended effect. As the smoke began to

 dissipate he could hear the ferret moan, see him staggering

 backwards clutching at his head.

 But Zancresta was not to be so simply vanquished.

 268

 Alan Dean Poster

 Gathering his strength, he glared at Jon-Tom and began to

 recite:

 "Nails of rails and coils of toil,

 Come to me now, rise to a boil,

 Become with strength my herpetological foil!"

 The sorcerer's fingers stretched, elongated, became pow-

 erful constrictors that writhed and curled toward Jon-Tom.

 Whether it was out of fear for Folly or for himself or

 sheer anger, he couldn't say, but now the music flowed

 easily through him. Without missing a bar he segued straight

 into a slithering song by Jefferson Airplane. The snakes

 shriveled and shrank to become ferret fingers once more.

 A second time Zancresta threw out his hands toward

 Jon-Tom.

 "Xyleum, phylum, cellulose constrained,

 Hypoblastic hardwood rise up now unrestrained.

 Chlorophyllic transformation make thyself known.

 Long and strong and sharp and straight

 And solid as a stone!"

 The wooden stake that materialized to leap at Jon-Tom's

 chest was the size of a small tree. A few branches erupted

 from its trunk, and it continued to grow even as it flew

 toward him, sending out roots and leaves. He barely had

 time enough to switch to a throaty rendition of Def

 Lepard's "Pyromania."

 The huge, growing spear blew up in a ball of fire. The

 force of it knocked Zancresta backward to the floor.

 It gave Jon-Tom a moment to check on his companions.

 They were unhurt, but there was plenty of blood on the

 floor of the aisle. It all came from the same source, and

 was sticky with green and blue feathers. A beaked skull

 lay sightless in one place, a leg elsewhere, a pair of wings

 on a half-empty shelf. More blood stained Roseroar's

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 269

 muzzle and claws. Her swords were still sheathed and

 clean. She hadn't needed to use them, having dismembered

 Corroboc as neatly as Jon-Tom would have a fried chicken.

 Mudge stepped forward to fire a single arrow at Zancresta.

 The sorcerer raised a hand, uttered one contemptuous

 word. The arrow turned rotten before it crumpled against

 the ferret's hip. Meanwhile Jon-Tom wondered and wor-

 ried about Folly. If only Drom had time enough to reach

 her before ...!

 Sensing his opponent's lapse of concentration, Zancresta

 waved a hand over his head and declaimed stentoriously. A

 small black cloud appeared in the air between them.

 Thunder rolled ominously.

 Jon-Tom barely had the presence of mind to shout the

 right words from Procol Harum's "In Held I Was" and

 hold up the duar in front of him in time to intercept the

 single bolt of lightning that emerged from the cloud. The

 instrument absorbed the bolt, though the impact sent him

 stumbling. The cloud disintegrated.

 Now, for the first time, there was a hint of fear in

 Zancresta's eyes. Fear, but not surrender. Not yet. He

 stood staring at his opponent, making no effort to draw his

 torn and ragged clothes tighter about him.

 "Not accident, then," he muttered as he stood there.

 "Not just luck. I worried about that, but in the end gave it

 little credence. Now I see that I was wrong. You think

 you've won, don't you? You think you've beaten me?" He

 looked up at the ladder. Snooth stood on it holding the

 original container of medicine. Zancresta had been so busy

 watching Jon-Tom that he hadn't seen the proprietress

 switch it for the smoke bomb.

 "You all think you've beaten me. Well, you haven't.

 Not Zancresta, you haven't. Because you see, I came

 prepared to deal with every possibility, no matter how

 remote or unlikely. Yes, I even came prepared to deal with

 the chance that this stripling spellsinger might possess

 some small smidgen of talent."

 270

 Alan Dean Foster

 "Go ahead and try something." Jon-Tom felt ten feet

 tall. He could feel the power surging inside him, could feel

 the music fighting to get out. His fingers tingled and the

 duar was like a third arm. He was riding high, on the same

 kind of high the stars got when they sang in front of

 thousands in the big halls and arenas. He stopped just short

 of levitating.

 "Come on, Zancresta," he taunted the sorcerer, "trot

 out anything you can think of, bring forth all your nasti-

 ness! I've got a song for every one of 'em, and when

 you're finished"—he was already humming silently the last

 song he planned to sing this day—"when you're finished,

 Jalwar-Zancresta, I've got a final riff for you."

 The ferret pursed his lips and shook his head sadiy.

 "You poor, simple, unwilling immigrant, do you think I'm

 so easily beaten? I know a hundred powerful conjurations

 to throw at you, remember a thousand curses. But you are

 correct. I know that your music could counter them."

 Something was wrong, Jon-Tom thought. Zancresta ought

 to have been begging for mercy. Instead, he sounded as

 confident as ever.

 "Your music is strong, spellsinger, but you are feeble

 here." He tapped his head. "You see, as I said, I came

 prepared to deal with anything." He looked to his right.

 "Charrok, I need you now,"

 From behind a partly vacant shelf, a new shape appeared.

 Jon-Tom braced himself for anything, his fingers ready on

 the duar, his mind full of countering songs. The figure that

 emerged did not inspire any fear in him, however. In fact,

 it was singularly unimpressive.

 The mockingbird stood barely three feet tall, shorter

 even than Corroboc. He wore an unusually plain kilt of

 black on beige and yellow, a single matching yellow vest

 devoid of adornment, and a single yellow cap.

 Zancresta gestured at Jon-Tom. "That's the one I told

 you about. Do what I paid you to do!"

 The mockingbird carefully shook out his wings, then the

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 271

 rest of his feathers, put flexible wingtips on his hips and

 cocked his head sideways to eye Jon-Tom.

 "I hear tell from Zancresta here that you're the best."

 "The best what?"

 The mockingbird reached back over a shoulder. Roseroar

 and Mudge tensed, but the bird produced not an arrow or

 spear but a thin wooden box overlaid with three sets of

 strings.

 "A syreed," murmured Roseroar.

 Charrok nestled the peculiar instrument under one wing

 and flexed the strong feathers of the other. "Now we're

 going to learn who's really the best."

 "Bugger me for a mayor's mother!" Mudge gasped.

 "The bloody bastard's a spellsinger 'imself!"

 XVI

 "That," said the mockingbird with obvious pride, "is just

 what I am."

 "Now, look," said Jon-Tom even as he made sure the

 duar was resting comfortably against his ribs, "I don't

 know you and I've no reason to fight you. If you've been

 listening to what's been going on you know who's on the

 side of right here and who on the side of evil."

 "Evil-schmieval," said the mockingbird. "I'm just a

 country spellsinger. I don't go around making moral judg-

 ments. I just make music. The other I leave to solicitors

 and judges." Feathers dipped toward multiple strings.

 "Let's get to it, man."

 The voice that emerged from that feathered throat was

 as sweet and sugary as Ion-Tom's was harsh and uneven,

 and it covered a range of octaves no human could hope to

 match.

 Well then, Jon-Tom decided grimly as he saw the smile

 that had appeared on the ferret's face, it was up to him to

 respond with musical inventiveness, sharper lyrics, and

 better playing. If nothing else, he could at least match the

 mockingbird in enthusiasm and sheer volume.

 272

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 273

 The mountain rattled and the shelving shook. The floor

 quivered underfoot and stone powder fell from the ceiling

 as the two spellsingers threw incisive phrases and devastat-

 ing rhymes at each other. Charrok sang of acid tongues

 and broken hearts, of mental anguish and crumbling self-

 esteem. Jon-Tom countered with appropriate verses by

 Queen and the Stones, by Pat Benatar and Fleetwood Mac.

 Charrok's clashing chords smashed violently against Jon-

 Tom's chords by the Clash. The mockingbird even resorted

 to calling up the defeated warriors of the Plated Folk, and

 Jon-Tom had to think fast to fight back with the pounding,

 sensual New Wave of Adam Ant.

 As the two singers did battle, Mudge struggled to get a

 clear shot at Zancresta. The wizard had witnessed several

 demonstrations of the otter's prowess with the longbow,

 however, and was careful not to provide him with a decent

 target.

 Jon-Tom was finally forced to pause, no matter the

 consequences. He was panting hard and his fingers were

 numb and bloody from nonstop strumming. Worse, his

 throat stung like cracked suede and he feared creeping

 hoarseness.

 But the arduous duel had taken its toll on his opponent

 as well. Charrok no longer fluffed out his feathers proudly

 between songs, nor did he appear quite as confident as he

 had when the battle had begun.

 At which point Jon-Tom thought to try another line of

 attack entirely.

 "That last tune, the one about the drunken elephant with

 the knife? That was pretty sharp. You got some good riffs

 in there. I couldn't do that."

 "Sometimes," Charrok croaked, "it's harder with fin-

 gers than with feathers." He held up his right wing and

 wiggled the flexible tips for emphasis. "You're not doing

 too badly yourself, though. What was that bit about dirty

 deeds done dirt cheap?"

 274

 Alan Dean Poster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 275

 "AC/DC," Jon-Tom replied tiredly. "I thought it might

 conjure me up a few berserk assassins. No such luck."

 "Good try, though," Charrok complimented him. "I

 could almost feel the knife at my throat."

 Zancresta stepped forward, careful to keep the body of

 his hired instrument between himself and Mudge.

 "What is this? I am not paying you to indulge in casual

 conversation with this man. I am paying you to kill him!"

 Charrok turned. His gaze narrowed as he stared up at

 the sorceror. "You hold on a minute there, Mr. Zancresta,

 sir. You hired my spellsinging, not my soul."

 "Don't get existential with me, you warbling bumpkin!

 You'll do as you're told!"

 Charrok was unperturbed by the sorcerer's outburst.

 "That's what I've been doing." He nodded toward Jon-

 Tom. "This fella's mighty damn good. He might, just

 might, be better than me."

 "I don't know who's best and I don't care," Jon-Tom

 said hastily, "but you sing like a storm and you play like a

 fiend. I'd appreciate it a lot if you could show me that last

 song." He strummed an empty chord on the duar. "Maybe

 I've only got five fingers here, but I'd damn sure like to

 give it a try."

 "I don't know ... a duar only has two sets of strings and

 my syreed three. Still, if you dropped a note here and

 there...." He started to walk over. "Let's have a looksee."

 "No fraternizing with the enemy," Zancresta snapped,

 putting a restraining paw on the mockingbird's shoulder.

 Charrok shook it off.

 "Maybe he ain't my enemy."

 "Of course I'm not," said Jon-Tom encouragingly,

 moving forward himself. "A gig's a gig, but that shouldn't

 come between a couple of professionals." When Charrok

 was near enough, Jon-Tom put a comradely arm around

 the bird's shoulders, having to bend over to do so. "This

 isn't your fight, singer. Two musician-magicians of our

 caliber shouldn't be trying to destroy each other. We

 should be collaborating. Imagine the wizardry we could

 work! This shouldn't be a duel, it should be a jam

 session."

 "I'd like that," said Charrok. He searched the aisle

 beyond. "Where are the berries?"

 "Not that kind of jam. I mean we should play together,

 make music and magic together."

 A hand reached out and clutched in frustration at the

 mockingbird's vest. "1 won't have this!" The ferret was

 jumping up and down on short legs. "I tell you, I won't

 have it! I've paid you well to serve me in this matter. We

 have a contract! There is too much at stake here."

 "Yea, including my reputation," Charrok told him frosti-

 ly. "But," he glanced up at Jon-Tom, "that can always be

 settled between friends. As for your money, you can have

 it back. I've decided I don't want.. ."

 "Look out, mate!" Mudge yelled. The otter threw

 himself forward, hit Zancresta just in time to make the

 subtle knife thrust the ferret had been aiming at Jon-Tom

 beneath Charrok's wing miss. The two went rolling over

 together on the floor.

 "Hold him, sun!" Roseroar thundered as she advanced,

 ready to remove Zancresta's head from his neck as easily

 as she would a stopper from a bottle.

 But the ferret was scrambling to his feet, leaving a

 bleeding Mudge lying on the floor. Displaying incredible

 agility, the sorcerer dodged under Roseroar's wild rush and

 started climbing up the nearest shelf. Boxes and cartons

 came flying down at the tigress, who batted the missiles

 aside impatiently as she tried to locate her quarry. Then

 she was climbing after him, slowly but relentlessly.

 Jon-Tom was bending over Mudge, whose paws were

 clasped over the knife wound. The otter's eyes were

 half-closed as he stared up at his companion.

 "This is it, guv'nor. I'm on me way out. I'm dyin'. I

 knew it would come someday, but 1 never thought it'd be

 like this, wot? Not in some bloody store 'alfway across the

 276

 Alan Dean Foster

 world. I was meant to die in bed, I was." The limpid

 brown eyes were full of sadness and regret. "We 'ad some

 good times, though. A few laughs 'ere, narrow escape

 there. Cor, 'twere much to be sung of." The eyes closed,

 reopened weakly.

 "Sorry it 'ad to end like this, mate. If you 'ave a song

 left in you to sing you might sing one for old Mudge. Sing

 me a song o' gold, spellsinger. If I can't die in bed maybe

 I can die under a pile o' gold. Bury me in the damn stuff

 and I'll slip away 'appily."

 Jon-Tom knelt alongside the limp otter, holding his head

 up with one hand. "Mudge," he said quietly, "that knife

 didn't go in more than half an inch, and you're not

 bleeding that bad. If you want to get gold out of me you're

 going to have to do better than that."

 The otter fixed him with pleading eyes. "Gold? Why, I

 wouldn't try to trick you into conjurin' up me some gold at

 a time like this, mate. Would I?" Jon-Tom didn't reply.

 Mudge moved his hands, and his eyes went wide with

 surprise. "Crikey, would you 'ave a look at this! It's

 'ealin' right over, it 'tis! Thanks be to your magic, mate.

 I'll never forget this, guv, never!"

 "I'll bet you won't," said the disgusted Jon-Tom. He

 stood, and Mudge's head bounced off the floor.

 "Ow! Damnit, you bloody smart-arsed, know-it-all,

 over-sized, shallow-voiced son of a... !"

 Jon-Tom didn't hear the rest. He'd turned to look down

 the aisle. It was full of smoke from conjured lightning and

 dust fallen from the ceiling. There was no sign of Zancresta

 or the vengeful Roseroar. The fight had moved to another

 aisle, another row of shelving. Snooth had also vanished,

 which was understandable. The proprietress had retreated

 to a place of safety to await the outcome of the fight,

 exactly as Jon-Tom would have done had their positions

 been reversed.

 "Get up, Mudge," Jon-Tom said impatiently. "We've

 got to help Roseroar."

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 277

 The otter rose, still holding a paw over the light wound.

 "That she-massif doesn't need any 'elp, mate. I'll 'elp you

 look for 'er, but odds'll get you she finds that bastard

 Zancresta first." He winced, inspected his knife cut.

 "Ruined a good vest, 'e did."

 "Wait." Jon-Tom squinted into the haze that filled the

 aisle. "I think she's coming."

 But it wasn't Roseroar. It moved on four legs and its

 golden coat glowed even in the weak light. Clinging to the

 broad back was the naked form of a young woman toasted

 pink as a boiled lobster.

 Drom trotted to a halt beside them. He was foaming at

 the mouth and soaked with lather.

 "Hot," he told them unnecessarily. "Excruciatingly

 hot." Folly slid off the unicorn's back into Jon-Tom's

 arms, barely conscious. "She was walking blindly toward

 an open lava pit. I got there just in time."

 "Jon-Tom." He held her carefully, acutely conscious of

 the first-degree burn that covered her whole body. "I.. .1

 didn't know what was happening, what I was doing.

 Jalwar... he made me feel so strange. I couldn't think my

 own thoughts anymore." She leaned against him.

 "That morning when he woke me and made me follow

 him out of our camp, I wanted to cry out, to warn you, but

 I couldn't. He made me go with him, and he made me fetch

 and cook and carry for him, but it wasn't me, it wasn't

 me! It was like I was a prisoner in my own body and I

 couldn't get out." She was sobbing now, the tears wet

 against his chest. She leaned back and looked up at him in

 astonishment.

 "I'm crying. I didn't think I could cry anymore."

 "You were hypnotized," Jon-Tom told her. When she

 continued staring at him in puzzlement he explained fur-

 ther. "A kind of magic. You couldn't help yourself." He

 hugged her to him and when she moaned in pain he was

 quick to release her. "We'll have to do something about

 your burn. Maybe Snooth has something. We can buy

 278

 Alan Dean Poster

 medicine for you, too. I still have the three gold pieces

 that Mudge didn't lose in Snarken."

 "It's all right," she whispered. "I'm all right now."

 She turned to Drom. "I wouldn't have been if he hadn't

 shown up. I didn't know what to think when he came

 galloping down the corridor after me. Then he told me

 who he was and that he was a friend of yours and you

 were all here inside the mountain with him. That you were

 fighting Jalwar-Zancresta." She ran to the unicorn and,

 putting her arms around his neck, hugged him gratefully.

 Drom tolerated the attention briefly before stepping back

 and pulling free. "I am glad to have been of assistance,

 madame, but leave us not get carried away with our

 emotions."

 "But I thought..." Folly looked hurt and Jon-Tom

 hastened to reassure her.

 "Drom's not being unfriendly, Folly. He's just being

 himself. I'll explain later." He looked at the unicorn. "It

 was a fine bit of rescue work, Drom."

 "1 try." The unicorn searched the aisle. "Where is the

 evil one? And the great feline? Did you defeat him during

 my absence?"

 "No." Jon-Tom smiled at the mockingbird. "This is

 Charrok. When Zancresta discovered that he couldn't de-

 feat me with his own magic, he tried to do it with another

 spellsinger. Charrok and I conjured up quite a musical

 storm before we came to the conclusion that harmony is

 better than dissonance. As for Roseroar, she's gone after

 Zancresta."

 "I should pity the ferret, then."

 "That's the truth, mate," said Mudge. "That's some

 broad. If she were only a fourth 'er size."

 "You have to learn to think big, Mudge." Jon-Tom

 became serious. "Zancresta's as fast on his feet as he is

 with his mind. He might give her the slip in here."

 " 'E can't get out, though, mate," Mudge commented.

 "Unless there's another way in, and I'd bet me tool there's

 THE DAT OP THE DISSONANCE

 279

 only the one. I'd say the best we can do now is find that

 oversized she-rat who runs the place. She 'ad the medicine

 when the fight started, and I'd wager she's kept it with

 'er."

 It was a long hike back to the entryway, and Jon-Tom's

 appraisal of the ferret as being fleet of foot turned out to be

 accurate, for when they turned up the last aisle Zancresta

 was already there.

 "Ah just missed him in a side aisle," Roseroar rumbled

 angrily, having rejoined them only moments earlier. "He

 won't get away this time."

 Zancresta's clothes were shredded, and he looked very

 unwizardly as he stood panting heavily before the exit.

 A glance down the side aisle showed his tormentors

 approaching rapidly. There was nothing, however, to pre-

 vent his escaping to plot against them from the outside.

 Nothing except an old female kangaroo.

 "Get out of my way, hag! My time is precious and I

 have none to waste in argument."

 "I'm not here to argue with you." Snooth spoke calmly,

 the pipe dangling from her lips. Her right hand was

 extended, palm upward. "You owe me payment."

 "Payment? Payment for what?" Zancresta snarled impa-

 tiently. His enemies were hurrying now, the ferocious

 tigress in the lead. He did not have much time.

 "For damage done to stock and fixtures."

 "I was trying to escape from that insane female who

 even now approaches. You can't hold me responsible for

 that."

 "I hold you responsible for everything," she replied

 darkly. "You initiated conflict. You interrupted a sale. I

 forgive you all that, but you must pay for the damage

 you've caused. I'm not running a philanthropic organiza-

 tion here. This is a business." She gestured with the palm.

 "Pay up."

 "Fool! I said I've no time to argue with you. This little

 store you have here is a very clever piece of work, I'll

 280

 Alan Dean Foster

 admit that. But I am Zancresta of Malderpot and I am not

 impressed. I give you one chance to get out of my way."

 Snooth did not move. The wizard's paw dipped into an

 intact pocket and he flung something small and round at

 her as the kangaroo's hands went to her belly. There was a

 crump\ as the small round thing exploded, filling the

 portal with angry red smoke. Jon-Tom had tried to shout

 a warning. It came too late.

 "Now I will leave over you, hag!"

 But there was something else in the doorway now,

 something besides the uninjured and glowering Snooth. It

 rose from her pouch, the pouch where Jon-Tom thought he

 had detected hints of movement before. It rose and grew

 and it was immediately clear it was no joey, no infant

 kangaroo. It was far larger, and it expanded as Jon-Tom

 and his companions slowed to a halt.

 Zancresta backed slowiy away from the apparition. It

 enlarged until it reached the roof forty feet overhead, and

 still it grew, until it could only fit in the cavern by bending

 low against the rock ceiling.

 It had the shape of a red kangaroo, but its face was not

 the face of a gentle vegetarian like Snooth. The ears were

 immense, sharply pointed, and hung with thick gold rings.

 The long snout was full of scimitarlike teeth, and sulfurous

 eyes centered on tiny black pupils glared downward. Gray

 smoke encircled and obscured the behemoth's waist, rising

 lazily from Snooth's pouch. Gorillalike arms hung to the

 floor, where backturned knuckles rested on the smooth

 stone.

 A bright crimson band encircled the huge forehead. It

 was inscribed with glowing symbols drawn from an an-

 cient place and time. A thin silken vest flapped in an unfelt

 wind against the mountainous chest.

 And there was the voice. Not gentle and matronly like

 Snooth's, but awesome in its depth and richness. The

 apparition spoke, and the earth trembled.

 "BEHOLD, ODIOUS IMP, TOILER IN OBSCURITY, MED-

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 281

 DLER  IN  INEFFECTUALITY:  I  AM  HARUN  AL-ROOJINN,

 MASTER OF ALL THE SPIRITS OF TIME PAST AND TIME

 FUTURE WHERE MARSUPIALS RULE AND ALL OTHERS ARE

 BUT TINY SCURRYING THINGS THAT HIDE IN ROCKS AND

 FEED ON WORMS! BEHOLD, AND BE AFRAID!" A hand big

 enough to sail the Glittergeist if fitted out with sails and

 rigging reached for Zancresta.

 The sorcerer cowered back against the shelving. His

 expression was desperate as he sought refuge and found

 none. He dropped to his knees and begged.

 "Forgive me, forgive me, I did not know!"

 "IGNORANCE is THE EXCUSE OF THE CONTEMPTUOUS,"

 bellowed the djinn.  "ABUSERS OF KNOWLEDGE RARELY

 SEEK ENLIGHTENMENT FROM OTHERS. THOSE WHO TRAM-

 PLE CONVENTION DESERVE NO PITY. THOSE WHO DO NOT

 PAY WHAT THEY OWE DESERVE TO PERISH."

 "I'm sorry!" Zancresta screamed, utterly frantic now.

 "I was blinded by anger."

 "YOU WERE BLINDED BY EGO, WHICH IS FAR WORSE."

 "It is a terrible thing to feel inferior to another. I can't

 stand it. I was overcome with the need to redeem myself,

 to restore my standing as the greatest practitioner of the

 mystic arts. All I have done was only for love of my

 profession." He prostrated himself, arms extended. "I

 throw myself on your mercy."

 "YOU LOVE ONLY YOURSELF, WORM. MERCY? YOU

 WOULD HAVE SLAIN MY MORTAL TO SAVE A FEW COINS,

 TO SHOW YOUR DOMINANCE. MERCY? YEA, I WILL GRANT

 YOU MERCY." The ferret's head lifted, and there was a

 hopeful look on his tormented face.

 "THIS is MY MERCY: THAT YOU SHALL DIE QUICKLY

 INSTEAD OF SLOWLY!"

 Zancresta shrieked and dodged to his left, but he wasn't

 fast enough to escape that immense descending hand. The

 fingers contracted once, and the shriek was not repeated.

 There was only a quick echo of bones crunching. Jon-Tom

 and his companions stared numbly.

 282

 Alan Dean Foster

 The hand opened and dropped the jellied smear that had

 been Jalwar-Zancresta, Wizard of Malderpot.

 "I ASK YOU," the djinn muttered in slightly less deafen-

 ing tones, "YOU TRY TO RUN A LITTLE BUSINESS DOWN

 THROUGH  THE  AGES  AND  YOU  FIND  ETERNITY  FULL  OF

 WELCHERS. SPEAKING OF WHICH"—the massive toothy

 skull and burning yellow eyes lifted to regard Jon-Tom—

 "THERE is MORE YET TO DO."

 "Hey, wait a minute," said Jon-Tom, starting to back

 away, "we're ready to pay for what we want. We didn't

 come here to stiff anybody." He glanced toward Snooth,

 who only shrugged helplessly. Apparently now that the

 djinn had been called, she was powerless to control it.

 "PAY FOR YOUR GOODS YOU MAY, BUT NOW I HAVE

 BEEN CALLED FORTH, AND I MUST ALSO BE PAID. HOW

 WILL YOU DO THAT, PALE WORM? I HAVE NO NEED OF

 YOUR MONEY. PERHAPS YOU WILL SING ME A SONG SO

 THAT I MAY LET YOU LEAVE?" Volcanic laughter filled the

 Shop of the Aether and Neither.

 Jon-Tom felt a hand pushing at him. "Well come on,

 then, mate," Mudge whispered urgently, "go to it. I'm

 right 'ere behind you if you need me 'elp."

 "You're such a comfort." Still, the otter was right. It

 was up to him to somehow placate this djinn and get them

 out of there. But he was exhausted from his duel with

 Charrok and Zancresta, and worn out from thinking up

 song after song. He was also more than a little irritated.

 Not the most sensible attitude to take, perhaps, but he was

 too tired to care.

 "You listen to me, Hargood ali rooge."

 The djinn glowered. "I DON'T LIKE MORTALS WHO GET

 MY NAME WRONG."

 "Okay, I can go with that," Jon-Tom replied, "but

 you'll have to excuse me. I've had a helluva couple of

 weeks. We came here to get some medicine for a sick

 friend. If that old fart hadn't intruded," and he gestured at

 the smear on the floor, "we'd be out of here and on our

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 283

 way by now. We didn't have a damn thing to do with his

 actions."

 "TRULY YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN ON YOUR WAY, BUT

 WHICH WAY IS RIGHT AND PROPER FOR YOU TO GO,

 LITTLE MORTAL?"

 "Do you still have the medicine, Snooth?" The kanga-

 roo nodded, opened a fist to show the precious container.

 A hand the size of a bus lowered to block her from

 Jon-Tom's sight.

 "THE MEDICINE YOU MAY TAKE. IF YOU CAN SATISFY

 ME. AND YOU HAVE SEEN WHAT HAPPENS TO MERE MOR-

 TALS WHO DISPLEASE ME."

 Jon-Tom was beginning to understand why Crancularn

 had acquired a less than favorable reputation among travel-

 ers in this part of the world, in spite of the miracles it

 offered for sale.

 "YOU THINK LONG, MORTAL. Do NOT THINK TO TRICK

 ME BY SOME FOOLISHNESS SUCH AS ASKING ME TO SHRINK

 MYSELF INTO A BOTTLE." A hand hovered above them and

 Folly flinched. "I DON'T NEED TO CHANGE MY SIZE TO

 SHOW MY POWER. ALL I NEED TO DO IS PUT MY THUMB ON

 YOUR HEAD."

 "Whatever happened to the customer's always right?"

 Jon-Tom shot back.

 The djinn hesitated. "WHAT OTHERWORLDLY IDIOCY is

 THAT?"

 "Just good business practice."

 "A  MORTAL WITH A  KNACK  FOR  BUSINESS."  The djinn

 looked interested.  "I WILL LET YOU PAY WITH YOUR

 BUSINESS, THEN, AND PERHAPS YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS

 WILL LEAVE HERE WITH YOUR BONES INTACT. YOU ARE A

 SPELLSINGER. I HAVE HEARD MANY SPELLS INGERS, BUT

 NONE THAT PLEASED ME. I DO NOT THINK I KNOW OF ONE

 FROM YOUR WORLD. SlNG ME A SPELLSONG OF YOUR

 WORLD, WORM. SlNG ME A SONG THAT WfLL AMUSE ME,

 INTRIGUE ME. SlNG ME SOMETHING DIFFERENT. THEN,

 AND ONLY THEN, WILL I LET YOU TAKE THE MEDICINE

 284

 Alan Dean Poster

 AND GO!" The djinn folded arms with thick muscles like

 the trunks of great trees.

 "THINK CAREFULLY ON WHAT YOU WILL SING. I GROW

 IMPATIENT  QUICKLY  AND  WILL  NOT  ALLOW  YOU  A  SEC-

 OND CHANCE."

 Jon-Tom stood sweating and thinking furiously. What

 song could he possible sing that would interest this off-

 spring of magic, who had access to the goods of thousands

 of worlds? What did he know that might be offbeat and

 just weird enough to have some effect on a djinn?

 Off to his left Roseroar stood watching him quietly.

 Mudge was muttering, something like a prayer. Folly paced

 anxiously behind him while Drom pawed at the floor and

 wished he were outside where he'd at least have a running

 chance.

 Feathers caressed his neck. "You can do it, colleague."

 Charrok was smiling confidently at him.

 Mystical. It had to be overtly mystical, yet not so

 specific as to anger the djinn into thinking Jon-Tom was

 trying to trick him. What did he know that fit that

 description? He was just a hard rocker when he wasn't

 studying law. All he knew were the hits, the platinum

 songs.

 There was only one possibility, one choice. A song full

 of implications instead of accusations, mysterious and not

 readily comprehended. Something to make the djinn think.

 He let his fingers slide over the duar's strings. His throat

 was dry but his hoarseness was gone.

 "Watch it, mate," Mudge warned him.

 To his surprise Jon-Tom found he could smile down at

 the otter. "No sweat, Mudge."

 "Wot can you sing for 'im 'e don't already 'ave,

 guv'nor?" The otter waved at hand at the endless shelves

 crammed with goods from dimensions unknown. "Wot

 can you give 'im in song 'e don't already own?"

 "A different state of mind," Jon-Tom told him softly,

 and he began to sing.

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 285

 He was concerned that the duar would not reproduce the

 eerie chords correctly. He need not have worried. That

 endlessly responsive, marvelously versatile instrument du-

 plicated the sounds he drew from memory with perfect

 fidelity, amplifying them so that they filled the chamber

 around him. It was a strange, quavering moan, a galvaniz-

 ing cross between an alien bass fiddle being played by

 something with twelve hands and the snore of a sleeping

 brontosaurus. Only one man had ever made sounds quite

 like that before, and Jon-Tom strained hands and lips to

 reproduce them.

 "If you can just get your mind together," he crooned to

 the djinn, "and come over to me, we'll watch the sunrise

 together, from the bottom of the sea."

 The words and sounds made no sense to Roseroar, but

 she could sense they were special. Bits and pieces of

 broken light began to illuminate the chamber around her.

 Gneechees, harbingers of magic, had appeared and were

 swarming around Jon-Tom in all their unseeable beauty.

 It was a sign the song was working, and it inspired

 Jon-Tom to sing harder still. Harun al-Roojinn leaned

 forward as if to protest, to question, and hesitated. Behind

 the fiery yellow eyes was a first flicker of uncertainty.

 Jon-Tom sang on.

 "First, have you ever been experienced? Have you ever

 been experienced?" The djinn drifted back on nonexistent

 heels. His great burning eyes began to glaze over slightly,

 as if someone were drawing wax paper across them.

 "Well, I have," Jon-Tom murmured. The notes bounced

 off the walls, rang off the ears of the djinn, who seemed to

 have acquired a pleasant indifference to those around him.

 Jon-Tom's own expression began to drift as he contin-

 ued to sing, remembering the words, remembering the

 chords. A brief eternity passed. It was Mudge who reached

 up to break the trance.

 "That's it, mate," he whispered. He shook Jon-Tom

 hard. "C'mon, guv, snap out o' it." Jon-Tom continued to

 286

 Alan Dean Foster

 play on, a beatific expression on his face. The djinn

 hovered before him like some vast rusty blimp, hands

 folded over his chest, great claws interlocked, whispering.

 "BEAUTIFUL ... Beautiful... beautiful..."

 "Come on, mate!" The otter turned to Roseroar, who

 was swaying slowly in time to the music, her eyes blank.

 A thin trickle of drool fell from her mouth. Mudge tried to

 kick her in the rump, but his foot wouldn't reach that high.

 So he settled for slapping Folly.

 "What... what's happening?" She blinked. "Stop hit-

 ting me." She focused on the drifting djinn. "What's

 happened to him? He looks so strange."

 " 'E ain't the only one," Mudge snapped. " 'Elp me

 wake the rest of 'em up."

 They managed to revive Drom and Charrok and Roseroar,

 but Jon-Tom stubbornly refused to return to reality. He was

 as locked into the deceptively langorous state of mind he'd

 conjured up as was the target of his song.

 "Wake «/>!" Roseroar demanded as she shook him. He

 turned to her, still playing, and smiled broadly.

 "Wake up? But why? Everything's so beautiful." He

 looked half through her. "Did I ever tell you how beautiful

 you are?"

 Roseroar was taken aback by that one, but only for a

 moment. "Tell me later, sun." She threw him over her left

 shoulder and started for the door, keeping a wary eye on

 the stoned djinn.

 "Just a second." Drom paused at the portal and snatched

 the container of medicine from Snooth's fingers.

 "Hey, what about my payment, sonny?"

 "You've already been paid, madame." The unicorn

 used his horn to point at Harun al-Roojinn."Collect from

 him." Drom trotted out, through the storeroom of broken

 devices, through the living area, and out the front door to

 join his friends.

 Snooth watched him go, hands on hips, her expression

 grim.

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 287

 "Tourists! I shouid've known they'd be more trouble

 than they're worth." She stomped out onto the porch and

 watched until they'd vanished into the woods. Then she

 reached inside, found the sign she wanted, hung it on the

 door, and slammed it shut. The message on the sign was

 clear enough.

 OUT TO LUNCH

 BACK IN TEN THOUSAND YEARS

 Jon-Tom bounced along on Roseroar's powerful shoul-

 der. Mudge kept pace easily alongside, Folly rode atop the

 reluctant but soft-hearted Drom, and Charrok scouted their

 progress from above.

 As the Shop of the Aether and Neither receded behind

 them, Jon-Tom gradually began to emerge from the

 mental miasma into which he'd plunged both himself

 and Harun al-Roojinn. Fingers moved less steadily over

 the duar's strings, and his voice fell to a whisper. He

 blinked.

 " 'E's comin' round," Mudge observed.

 "It's about time," said Folly. "What did he do to

 himself?"

 "Some wondrous magic," muttered Drom. "Some pow-

 erful otherworldly conjuration."

 Mudge snorted and grinned. "Right, mate. What 'e did

 to the monster was waste 'im. Unfortunately, 'e did 'imself

 right proud in the process."

 Jon-Tom's hand went to his head. "Ooooo." Shifting

 outlines resolved themselves into, the running figure of

 Mudge.

 " 'Angover, mate?"

 "No. No, I feel okay." He looked up suddenly, back

 toward the smoking mountain. "Al-Roojinn?"

 "Zonked, skunked, blown-away. A fine a piece o'

 spellsingin' as was ever done, mate."

 "It was the song," Jon-Tom murmured dazedly. "A

 288

 Alan Dean Foster

 good song. A special song. Jimi's best. If anything could

 dazzle a djinn, I knew it would be that. You can put me

 down now, Roseroar." The tigress set him down gently.

 "Come on, mate. We'd best keep movin' fast before

 your spellsong wears off."

 "It's all right, I think." He looked back through the

 forest toward the mountain. "It's not a restraining song.

 It's a happy song, a relaxing song. Al-Roojinn didn't seem

 either happy or relaxed. Maybe he's happy now."

 They followed the winding trail back toward Crancularn

 and discovered a ghost town populated by slow-moving,

 nebulous inhabitants who smiled wickedly at them, grin-

 ning wraiths that floated in and out of reality. "It's there

 but some don't see it," Drom had said. Now Jon-Tom

 understood the unicorn's meaning. The real Crancularn

 was as insubstantial as smoke, as solid as a dream.

 They forced themselves not to run as they left the town

 behind, heading for the familiar woods and the long walk

 back to far-distant Lynchbany. Somewhere off to the right

 came the grind of the ATC, but this time the helpful

 rabbit, be he real or wraith, did not put in an appearance.

 Once Jon-Tom glanced back to reassure himself that he'd

 actually been in Crancularn, but instead of a crumbling old

 town, he thought he saw a vast bubbling cauldron alive

 with dancing, laughing demons. He shuddered and didn't

 look back again.

 By evening they were all too exhausted to care if

 Al-Roojinn and a dozen vengeful cousins were hot on then-

 trail or not. Mudge and Roseroar built a fire while the

 others collapsed.

 "1 think we're safe now," Jon-Tom told them. He ran

 both hands through his long hair, suddenly sat up sharply.

 "The medicine! What about the—!"

 "Easy, mate." Mudge extracted the container from a

 pocket. " 'Ere she be, nice and tidy."

 Jon-Tom examined the bottle. It was such a small thing

 on which to have expended so much effort, barely an inch

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 289

 high and half again as wide. It was fashioned of plain

 white plastic with a screw-on cap of unfamiliar design.

 "I wonder what it is." He started to unscrew the top.

 "Just a minim, mate," said Mudge sharply, nodding at

 the container. "Do you think that's wise? I know you're a

 spellsinger and all that, but maybe there's a special reason

 for that little bottle bein' tight-sealed the way it is."

 "Any container of medicine would be sealed," Jon-Tom

 responded. "If there was any danger, Clothahump would

 have warned me not to open it." Another twist and the cap

 was off, rendering further argument futile.

 He stared at the contents, then held the bottle under his

 nose and sniffed.

 "Well," asked Drom curiously, "do you have any idea

 what it is?"

 Jon-Tom ignored the unicorn. Frowning, he turned the

 bottle upside down and dumped one of several tablets into

 his palm. He eyed it uncertainly, and before anyone could

 stop him, licked it. He sat and smacked his lips thoughtfully.

 Abruptly his face contorted and his expression under-

 went a horrible, dramatic change. His eyes bugged and a

 hateful grimace twisted his mouth. As he rose his hands

 were trembling visibly and he clutched the bottle so hard

 his fingers whitened.

 "It's got him!" Folly stumbled back toward the bushes.

 "Something's got him!"

 "Roseroar!" Mudge shouted. "Get 'im down! I'll find

 some vines to tie 'im with!" He rushed toward the trees.

 "No," Jon-Tom growled tightly. "No." His face fell as

 he stared at the bottle. Then he drew back his hand and

 made as if to fling the plastic container and its priceless

 contents into the deep woods. At the last instant he

 stopped himself. Now he was smiling malevolently at the

 tablet in his hand.

 "No. We're going to take it back. Take it back so that

 Clothahump can see it. Can see what we crossed half a

 world and nearly died a dozen times to bring him." He

 290

 Alan Dean Foster

 THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE

 291

 stared at his uneasy companions. "This is the medicine.

 This will cure him. I'm sure it will. Then, when the pain

 has left his body and he is whole and healthy again, I'll

 strangle him with my bare hands!"

 "Ah don't understand yo, Jon-Tom. What's wrong if

 that's the right medicine?"

 "What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong." He shook

 the bottle at her. "It's acetylsalicylic acid, that's what's

 wrong!" Suddenly the anger went out of him, and he sat

 back down heavily on a fallen tree. "Why didn't I think

 that might be it? Why?"

 Mudge fought to pronounce the peculiar, otherworldly

 word, failed miserably. "You mean you know wot the

 bloody stuff is?"

 "Know it?" Jon-Tom lifted tired eyes to the otter. "You

 remember when I arrived in this world, Mudge?"

 "Now, that would be a 'ard day to forget, mate. I nearly

 spilled your guts all over a field o' flowers."

 "Do you remember what I was wearing?"

 Mudge's face screwed up in remembrance. "That funny

 tight shirt and them odd pants."

 "Jeans, Mudge, jeans. I had a few things with me when

 Clothahump accidently brought me over. My watch, which

 doesn't work anymore because the batteries are dead."

 "Spell's worn out, you mean."

 "Let's don't get into that now, okay? My watch, a

 lighter, a few keys in a small metal box, and another small

 box about this big." He traced an outline in the air in front

 of him.

 "The second box held a few little items I always carried

 with me for unexpected emergencies. Some Pepto-Bismol

 tablets for an upset stomach, a couple of Band-Aids, a few

 blue tablets whose purpose we won't discuss in mixed

 company, and some white tablets. Do you remember the

 white tablets, Mudge?"

 The otter shook his head. "I wouldn't 'ave a looksee

 through your personal things, mate." Besides, he'd been

 interrupted before he could get the two boxes opened.

 "Those tablets were just like these, Mudge. Just like

 these." He stared dumbly at the bottle he held. "Acetylsali-

 cylic acid. Aspirin, plain old ordinary everyday aspirin."

 "Ah guess it ain't so ordinary hereabouts," said Roseroar.

 "Now, mate," said Mudge soothingly, " 'is wizardship

 couldn't 'ave known you 'ad some in your back pocket all

 along, now could 'e? It were a sad mistake, but an 'onest

 one."

 "You think so? Clothahump knows everything.'1

 "Then why send us across 'alf the world to find somethin'

 'e already 'ad in 'is 'ouse?"

 "To test me. To test my loyalty. He's grooming me to

 take his place someday if he can't send me home, and he

 has to make sure I'm up to the reputation he's going to

 leave behind. So he keeps testing me."

 "Are you tellin' me, mate," muttered Mudge carefully,

 "that this 'ole damn dangerous trip was unnecessary from

 the beginnin'? That this 'ere glorious quest could've been

 left undone and we could've stayed comfy an' warm back

 in the Bellwoods, doin' civilized work like gettin' laid an'

 drunk?"

 Jon-Tom nodded sadly. "I'm afraid so."

 Mudge's reaction was not what Jon-Tom expected. He

 anticipated a replay of his own sudden fury, at least.

 Instead, the otter clasped his hands to his belly, bent over,

 and fell to the ground, where he commenced to roll wildly

 about while laughing uncontrollably. A moment later Drom's

 own amused, high-pitched whinny filled the woods, while

 Roseroar was unable to restrain her own more dignified but

 just as heartfelt hysteria.

 "What are you laughing about? You idiots, we nearly

 got killed half a dozen times on this journey! So what are

 you laughing about?" For some reason this only made his

 companions laugh all the harder.

 292

 Alan Dean Poster

 Except for one. Soft hands were around his neck and

 still softer flesh in his lap as Folly sat down on his thighs.

 "I understand, Jon-Tom. I feel sorry for you. I'll always

 understand and I'll never laugh at you."

 He struggled to squirm free of her grasp. This was

 difficult since she was seated squarely in his lap and had

 locked her hands tightly behind his neck.

 "Folly," he said as he wrestled with her, "I've told you

 before that there can't be anything between us! For one

 thing, I already have a lady, and for another, you're too

 young."

 She grinned winsomely. "But she's half a world away

 from here, and I'm getting older every day. If you'll give

 me half a chance, I'll catch up to you." By now the

 unicom was lying on his back kicking weakly at the air,

 and Mudge was laughing hard enough to cry. Jon-Tom

 fought to free himself and failed each time he tried,

 because his hands kept contacting disconcerting objects.

 Mudge looked up at his friend. Tears ran down his face

 and formed droplets on the ends of his whiskers. " 'Ow

 are you going to magic your way out o' this one, spell-

 slinger?" Something nudged him from behind, and he saw

 that the unicorn had crawled over close to him.

 "Small you may be, otter, but you are most admirable

 in so many ways. I look forward to joining you on your

 homeward journey. It will give us the chance to get to

 know each other better. And it is said that where there is a

 will, there is a way." He nuzzled the wide-eyed otter's

 haunches.

 Then it was Jon-Tom's turn to laugh....