The Fun House [067-011-5.0]

By: Dean R. Koontz

Synopsis:

Once there was a girl who ran away and joined a traveling carnival.

She married a man she hated and begat a child she could never love.

Now Ellen has a new life, a new husband and two normal children.

Memory is drowned in alcohol and prayers--neither of which will save

her kids when the carnival comes back to town. A premiere release by

the bestselling author of Dragon Tears.

Berkley Pub Group;

ISBN: 0425142485

Copyright 1994

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which

you really stop to look fear in the face.  You are able to say to

yourself, I lived through this horror.  I can take the next thing that

comes along."

You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

--ANNA ROOSEVELT "Happy families are all alike, every unhappy family is

unhappy in its own way."

--LEO TOLSTOY "Don't look back.  Something may be gaining on you."

--SATCHEL PAIGE.

PROLOGUE.

ELLEN STRAKER SAT at the small kitchen table in the Airstream travel

trailer, listening to the night wind, trying not to hear the strange

scratching that came from the baby's bassinet.

Tall oaks, maples, and birches swayed in the dark grove where the

trailer was parked.  Leaves rustled like the starched, black skirts of

witches.  The wind swept down from the cloud-plated Pennsylvania sky,

pushing the August darkness through the trees, gently rocking the

trailer, groaning, murmuring, sighing, heavy with the scent of oncoming

rain.  It picked up the hurlyburly sounds of the nearby carnival, tore

them apart as if they were fragments of a flimsy fabric, and drove the

tattered threads of noise through the screen that covered the open

window above the kitchen table.

In spite of the wind's incessant voice, Ellen could still hear the

faint, unnerving noises that issued from the bassinet at the far end of

the twenty-foot trailer.  Scraping and scratching.  Dry rasping.

Brittle crackling.

A papery whisper.  The harder she strained to block out those sounds,

the more clearly she could hear them.

She felt slightly dizzy.  That was probably the booze doing its job.

She was not much of a drinker, but in the past hour she had tossed down

four shots of bourbon.  Maybe six shots.  She couldn't quite remember

whether she had made three or only two trips to the bottle.

She looked at her trembling hands and wondered if she was drunk enough

to do something about the baby.

Distant lightning flashed beyond the window.  Thunder rumbled from the

edge of the dark horizon.

Ellen turned her eyes slowly to the bassinet, which stood in shadows at

the foot of the bed, and gradually her fear was supplanted by anger.

She was angry with Conrad, her husband, and she was angry with herself

for having gotten into this.  But most of all, she was angry with the

baby because the baby was the hideous, undeniable evidence of her

sin.

She wanted to kill it--kill it and bury it and forget that it had ever

existed--but she knew she would have to be drunk in order to choke the

life out of the child.

She thought she was just about ready.

Gingerly, she got up and went to the kitchen sink.  She poured the

half-melted ice cubes out of her glass, turned on the water, and rinsed

the tumbler.

Although the cascading water roared when it struck the metal sink,

Ellen could still hear the baby.  Hissing.  Dragging its small fingers

down the inner surfaces of the bassinet.  Trying to get out.

No.  Surely that was her imagination.  She couldn't possibly hear those

thin sounds over the drumming water.

She turned off the tap.

For a moment the world seemed to be filled with absolutely perfect,

tomblike silence.  Then she heard the soughing wind once more, it

carried with it the distorted music of a calliope that was piping

energetically out on the midway.

And from within the bassinet: scratching, scrabbling.

Suddenly the child cried out.  It was a harsh, grating screech, a

single, fierce bleat of frustration and anger.  Then quiet.  For a few

seconds the baby was still, utterly motionless, but then it began its

relentless movement again.

With shaking hands, Ellen put fresh ice in her glass and poured more

bourbon.

She hadn't intended to drink any more, but the child's scream had been

like an intense blast of heat that had burned away the alcohol haze

through which she had been moving.  She was sober again, and fear

followed swiftly in the wake of sobriety.

Although the night was hot and humid, she shivered.

She was no longer capable of murdering the child.  She was no longer

even brave enough to approach the bassinet.

But I've got to do it!  she thought.

She returned to the booth that encircled the kitchen table, sat down,

and sipped her whiskey, trying to regain the courage that came with

intoxication, the only sort of courage she seemed able to summon.

I'm too young to carry this burden, she thought.  I don't have the

strength to handle it.  I admit that.  God help me, I just don't have

the strength.

At twenty Ellen Straker was not only much too young to be trapped in

the bleak future that now seemed to lie ahead of her, she was also too

pretty and vibrant to be condemned to a life of unremitting heartache

and crushing responsibility.  She was a slender, shapely girl-woman, a

butterfly that had never really had a chance to try out its wings.  Her

hair was dark brown, almost black, so were her large eyes, and there

was a natural, rosy tint to her cheeks that perfectly complemented her

olive-tone skin.

Before marrying Conrad Straker, she had been Ellen Teresa Marie

Giavenetto, the daughter of a handsome, Italian-American father and a

Madonna-faced, Italian-American mother.  Ellen's Mediterranean beauty

was not the only quality about her that revealed her heritage, she had

a talent for finding joy in small things, an expansive personality, a

quick smile, and a warmth that were all quite Italian in nature.  She

was a woman meant for good times, for parties and dances and gaiety.

But in her first twenty years of life, there had not been very much

laughter.

Her childhood was grim.

Her adolescence was an ordeal.

Although Joseph Giavenetto, her father, had been a warm, good-hearted

man, he had also been meek.  He had not been the master of his own

home, and he hadn't had a great deal to say about how his daughter

ought to be raised.  Ellen had not been soothed by her father's gentle

humor and quiet love nearly so often as she had been subjected to her

mother's fiery, religious zealotry.

Gina was the power in the Giavenetto house, and it was to her that

Ellen had to answer for the slightest impropriety, real or imagined.

There were rules, an endless list of them, which were meant to govern

Ellen's behavior, and Gina was determined that every rule would be

rigidly enforced and strictly obeyed.

She intended to see that her daughter grew up to be a very moral, prim,

God-fearing woman.

Gina always had been religious, but after the death of her only son,

she became fanatically devout.  Anthony, Ellen's brother, died of

cancer when he was only seven years old.  Ellen was just four at the

time, too young to understand what was happening to her brother, but

old enough to be aware of his frighteningly swift deterioration.  To

Gina, that tragedy had been a divine judgment leveled against her.  She

felt that she had somehow failed to please God, and that He had taken

her little boy to punish her.  She began going to Mass every morning

instead of just on Sundays, and she dragged her little girl with her.

She lit a candle for

Anthony's soul every day of the week, without fail.  At home she read

the Bible from cover to cover, over and over again.  Often, she forced

Ellen to sit and listen to Scripture for hours at a time, even before

the girl was old enough to understand what she was hearing.  Gina was

full of horrible stories about Hell: what it was like, what grisly

tortures awaited a sinner down there, how easy it was for a wicked

child to end up in that sulphurous place.  At night young Ellen's sleep

was disturbed by hideous, bloody nightmares based on her mother's

gruesome tales of fire and damnation.  And as Gina became increasingly

religious, she added more rules to the list by which Ellen was expected

to live, the tiniest infraction was, according to Gina, one more step

taken on the road to Hell.

Joseph, having yielded all authority to his wife early in their

marriage, was not able to exert much control over her even in ordinary

times, and when she retreated into her strange world of religious

fanaticism, she was so far beyond his reach that he no longer even

attempted to influence her decisions.

Bewildered by the changes in Gina, unable to cope with the new woman

she had become, Joseph spent less and less time at home.  He owned a

tailor shop--not an extremely prosperous business but a reliably steady

one-- and he began to work unusually long hours.  When he wasn't

working he passed more time with his friends than he did with his

family, and as a result Ellen was not exposed either to his love or to

his fine sense of humor often enough to compensate for the countless,

dreary hours during which she existed stoically under her mother's

stern, somber, suffocating domination.

For years Ellen dreamed of the day she would leave home, she looked

forward to that escape with every bit as much eagerness as a convict

anticipating release from a real prison cell.  But now that she was on

her own, now that she had been out from under her mother's iron hand

for more than a year, her future looked, incredibly, worse than it ever

had looked before.  Much worse.

Something tapped on the window screen behind the booth.

Ellen twisted around, looked up, startled.  For a moment she couldn't

see anything.  Just darkness out there.

Tap-tap-tap.

Who's there?"  she asked, her voice as thin as tissue, her heart

suddenly beating fast.

Then lightning spread across the sky, a tracery of fiery veins and

arteries.

In the flickering pulse of light, there were large white moths

fluttering against the screen.

"Jesus," she said softly.  "Only moths."

She shuddered, turned away from the frantic insects, and sipped her

bourbon.

She couldn't live with this kind of tension.  Not for long.  She

couldn't live in constant fear.  She had to do something soon.

Kill the baby.

In the bassinet the baby cried out again: a short, sharp noise almost

like a dog's bark.

A distant crack of thunder seemed to answer the child, the celestial

rumbling briefly blotted out the unceasing voice of the wind, and it

reverberated in the trailer's metal walls.

The moths went tap-tap-tap.

Ellen quickly drank her remaining bourbon and poured two more ounces

into her glass.

She found it difficult to believe that she had wound up in this shabby

place, in such anguish and misery, it seemed like a fever dream.  Only

fourteen months ago she had begun a new life with great expectations,

with what had proved to be hopelessly naive optimism.  Her world had

collapsed into ruin so suddenly and so completely that she was still

stunned.

Six weeks before her nineteenth birthday, she left home.  She slipped

away in the middle of the night, not bothering to announce her

departure, unable to face down her mother.  She left a short, bitter

note for Gina, and then she was off with the man she loved.

Virtually any inexperienced, small-town girl, longing to escape boredom

or oppressive parents, would have fallen for a man like Conrad

Straker.

He was undeniably handsome.  His straight, coalblack hair was thick and

glossy.  His features were rather aristocratic: high cheekbones, a

patrician nose, a strong chin.  He had startlingly blue eyes, a

gas-flame blue.  He was tall, lean, and he moved with the grace of a

dancer.

But it wasn't even Conrad's looks that had most appealed to Ellen.  She

had been won by his style, his charm.  He was a good talker, clever,

with a gift for making the most extravagant flattery sound understated

and sincere.

Running away with a handsome carnival barker had seemed wildly

romantic.  They would travel all over the country, and she would see

more of the world in one year than she had expected to see in her

entire life.  There would be no boredom.  Each day would be filled with

excitement, color, music, and lights.

And the world of the carny, so different from that of her small town in

Illinois farm country, was not governed by a long, complex, frustrating

set of rules.

She and Conrad were married in the best carnival tradition.  The

ceremony consisted of an after-hours ride on the merry-go-round, with

other carnies standing as witnesses.  In the eyes of all true carnival

people, their marriage was as binding and sacred as if it had been

performed in a church, by a minister, with a proper license in hand.

After she became Mrs. Conrad Straker, Ellen was certain that only good

times lay ahead.  She was wrong.

She had known Conrad for only two weeks before she had run off with

him.  Too late, she discovered that she had seen just the best side of

him.

Since the wedding, she had learned that he was moody, difficult to live

with, and capable of violence.  At times he was sweet, every bit as

charming as when he had been courting her.  But he could turn vicious

with the unexpected, inexplicable suddenness of a wild animal.  During

the past year his dark moods had seized him with increasing

frequency.

He was sarcastic, petty, nasty, grim, and quick to strike Ellen when

she displeased him.

He enjoyed slapping, shoving, and pinching her.  Early in the marriage,

before she was pregnant, he had hit her in the stomach with his fist on

two occasions.  While she'd been carrying their child, Conrad had

restricted his attacks, contenting himself with less brutal but

nonetheless frightening abuse.

By the time she was two months pregnant, Ellen was almost desperate

enough to go home to her parents.  Almost.  But when she thought of the

humiliation she would have to endure, when she pictured herself begging

Gina for another chance, when she thought of the smug

self-righteousness with which her mother would greet her, she wasn't

able to leave Straker.

She had nowhere else to go.

As she grew heavy with the child, she convinced herself that a baby

would settle Conrad.  He genuinely liked children, that was obvious

because of the way he treated the offspring of other carnies.  He

appeared to be enchanted by the prospect of fatherhood.  Ellen told

herself that the presence of the baby would soften Conrad, mellow him,

sweeten his temper.

Then, six weeks ago, that fragile hope was shattered when the baby

arrived.

Ellen hadn't gone to the hospital.  That wasn't the true carny way.

She had the baby at home, in the trailer, with a carnival midwife in

attendance.  The delivery had been relatively easy.  She was never in

any physical danger.  There were no complications.  Except .  . .

The baby.

She shivered with revulsion when she thought of the baby, and she

picked up her bourbon once more.

As if it sensed that she was thinking about it, the child squalled

again.

"Shut up!"  she screamed, putting her hands over her ears.  "Shut up,

shut up!"

It would not be quiet.

The bassinet shook, rocked, creaked as the infant kicked and writhed in

anger.

Ellen tossed down the last of the bourbon in her glass and licked her

lips nervously and finally felt the whiskey-power surging into her

again.  She slid out of the booth.  She stood in the tiny kitchen,

swaying.

The dissonant music of the oncoming storm crashed louder than ever,

directly over the fairgrounds now, building rapidly to a furious

crescendo.

She weaved through the trailer and stopped at the foot of the

bassinet.

She switched on a lamp that produced a soft amber glow, and the shadows

crawled away to huddle in the corners.

The child stopped struggling with its covers.  It looked up at her, its

eyes shining with hatred.

She felt sick.

Kill it, she told herself.

But the baby's malevolent glare was hypnotic.  Ellen could not tear her

eyes from its medusan gaze, she could not move, she felt as if she had

been turned to stone.

Lightning pressed its bright face to the window again, and the first

fat drops of rain came with the subsequent growl of thunder.

She stared at her child in horror, and beads of cold sweat popped out

along her hairline.  The baby wasn't normal, it wasn't even close to

normal, but there was no medical term for its deformity.  In fact you

couldn't rightly call it a child.  It was not a baby.  It was a

thing.

It didn't seem deformed so much as it seemed to belong to a species

ent*ely different from mankind.

It was hideous.

"Oh, God," Ellen said, her voice quavering.  "God, why me?  What have I

done to deserve this?"

The large, green, inhuman eyes of her offspring regarded her

venomously.

Ellen wanted to turn away from it.  She wanted to run out of the

trailer, into the crackling storm, into the vast darkness, out of this

nightmare and into a new dawn.

The creature's twisted, flared nostrils quivered like those of a wolf

or a dog, and she could hear it sniffing eagerly as it sorted out her

scent from the other odors in the trailer.

Kill it!

The Bible said, Thou shalt not kill.  Murder was a sin.  If she

strangled the baby, she would rot in Hell.  A series of cruel images

flickered through her mind, visions of a Hell that her mother had

painted for her during thousands of lectures about the terrible

consequences of sin: grinning demons tearing ragged gobbets of flesh

from living, screaming women, their leathery black lips slick with

human blood, white-hot fire searing the bodies of sinners, pale worms

feeding off still-conscious dead men, agonized people writhing

painfully in mounds of indescribably horrible filth.  Ellen was not a

practicing Catholic, but that did not mean that she was no longer a

Catholic in her heart.  Years of daily Mass and nightly prayer,

nineteen interminable years of Gina's mad sermons and stern admonitions

could not be sloughed off and forgotten easily.  Ellen still believed

wholeheartedly in God, Heaven, and Hell.  The Bible's warnings

continued to hold value and meaning for her.  Thou shalt not kill.

But surely, she argued with herself, that commandment did not apply to

animals.  You were permitted to kill animals, that was not a mortal

sin.  And this thing in the bassinet was just an animal, a beast, a

monster.  It was not a human being.  Therefore, if she destroyed it,

that act of destruction would not seal the fate of her immortal soul.

On the other hand, how could she be certain that it wasn't human?

It had been born of man and woman.  There couldn't be any more

fundamental criterion for humanity than that one.  The child was a

mutant, but it was a human mutant.

Her dilemma seemed insoluble.

In the bassinet, the small, swarthy creature raised one hand, reaching

toward Ellen.  It wasn't a hand, really.  It was a claw.  The long,

bony fingers were much too large to be those of a sixweek-old infant,

even though this baby was big for its age, like an animal's paws, the

hands of this little beast were out of proportion to the rest of it.  A

sparse, black fur covered the backs of its hands and bristled more

densely around its knuckles.  Amber light glinted off the sharp edges

of the pointed fingernails.  The child raked the air, but it was unable

to reach Ellen.

She couldn't understand how such a thing could have come from her.  How

could it possibly exist?  She knew there were such things as freaks.

Some of them worked in a sideshow in this very carnival.

Bizarre-looking people.  But not like this.  None of them was half as

weird as this thing that she had nurtured in her womb.  Why had this

happened?  Why?

Killing the child would be an act of mercy.  After all, it would never

be able to enjoy a normal life.  It would always be a freak, an object

of shame, ridicule, and derision.  Its days would be unrelievedly

stark, bitter, lonely.

Even the tamest and most ordinary pleasures would be denied it, and it

would have no chance of attaining happiness.

Furthermore, if she were forced to spend her life tending to this

creature, she wouldn't find any happiness of her own.  The prospect of

raising this grotesque child filled her with despair.  Murdering it

would be an act of mercy benefitting both herself and the pitiful yet

frightening mutant now glaring at her from the bassinet.

But the Roman Catholic Church did not condone mercy killing.  Even the

highest motives would not save her from Hell.  And she knew that her

motives were not pure, ridding herself of this burden was, in part, a

selfish act.

The creature continued to stare at her, and she had the unsettling

feeling that its strange eyes were not merely looking at her but

through her, into her mind and soul, past all pretension.  It knew what

she was contemplating, and it hated her for that.

Its pale, speckled tongue slowly licked its dark, dark lips.

It hissed defiantly at her.

Whether or not this thing was human, whether or not killing it would be

a sin, she knew that it was evil.  It was not simply a deformed baby.

It was something else.  Something worse.  It was dangerous, both less

and more than human.  Evil.

She felt the truth of that in her heart and bones.

Or am I crazy?  she wondered.  No.  She couldn't allow doubt to creep

in.  She was not out of her mind.  Grief-stricken, deeply depressed,

frightened, horrified, confused--she was all of those things.  But she

was not crazy.  She perceived that the child was evil, and in that

regard her perception was not askew.

Kill it.

The infant screamed.  Its gravelly, strident voice grated on Ellen's

nerves.

She winced.

Wind-driven sheets of rain drummed noisily against the trailer.

Thunder picked up the night and vigorously rattled it again.

The child squirmed, thrashed, and managed to push aside the thin

blanket that had been draped across it.  Hooking its bony hands on the

edges of the bassinet, gripping with its wicked claws, it strained

forward and sat up.

Ellen gasped.  It was too young to sit up on its own with such

assurance.

It hissed at her.

The thing was growing at a frightening rate, it was always hungry, and

she fed it more than twice as much as she would have fed an ordinary

child, week by week she could see the amazing changes in it.  With

surprising, disquieting swiftness it was learning how to use its

body.

Before long it would be able to crawl, then walk.

And then what?  How big and how mobile would it have to get before she

would no longer have any control over it?

Her mouth was dry and sour.  She tried to work up some saliva, but

there was none.

A trickle of cold sweat broke from her hairline and wriggled down her

forehead, into the corner of one eye.  She blinked away the salty

fluid.

If she could place the child in an institution, where it belonged, she

would not have to murder it.  But Conrad would never agree to giving up

his baby.  He was not the least bit revolted by it.  He was not

frightened of it, either.  He actually seemed to cherish it more than

he might have done a healthy child.  He took considerable pride in

having fathered the creature, and to Ellen his pride was a sign of

madness.

Even if she could commit the thing to an institution, that solution

would not be final.  The evil would still exist.  She knew the child

was evil, knew it beyond the slightest doubt, and she felt responsible

for bringing such a creature into the world.  She could not simply turn

her back and walk away and let someone else deal with it.

What if, grown larger, it killed someone?  Wouldn't the responsibility

for that death rest on her shoulders?

The air coming through the open windows was much cooler than it had

been before the rain had begun to fall.  A chilly draft brushed the

back of Ellen's neck.

The child began trying to get out of the bassinet.

Finally summoning all of her bourbon-inspired courage, her teeth

chattering, her hands trembling as if she were afflicted by palsy, she

took hold of the baby.  No.  The thing.  She must not think of it as a

baby.  She could not allow herself the luxury of sentiment.  She must

act.  She must be cold, unmoved, implacable, iron-willed.

She intended to lift the loathesome creature, retrieve the

satin-encased pillow that was under its head, and then smother it with

the same pillow.  She didn't want to leave any obvious marks of

violence on the body.

The death must appear to be natural.  Even healthy babies sometimes

died in their cribs without apparent cause, no one would be surprised

or suspicious if this pitiful deformity passed away quietly in its

sleep.

But as she lifted the thing off the pillow, it responded with such

shocking fury that her plan instantly became unworkable.  The creature

squealed.  It clawed her.

She cried out in pain as its sharp nails gouged and sliced her

forearms.

Blood.  Slender ribbons of blood.

The infant squirmed and kicked, and Ellen had great difficulty holding

onto it.

The thing pursed its twisted mouth and spat at her.  A viscous,

foul-smelling glob of yellowish spittle struck her nose.

She shuddered and gagged.

The child-thing peeled its dark lips back from its mottled gums and

hissed at her.

Thunder smashed the porcelain night, and the lights in the trailer

blinked once, blinked twice, and lightning coruscated through the brief

spell of blackness before the lamps came on again.

Please, God, she thought desperately, don't leave me in the dark with

this thing.

Its bulging, green eyes seemed to radiate a peculiar light, a

phosphorescent glow that appeared, impossibly, to come from within

them.

The thing screeched and writhed.

It urinated.

Ellen's heart jackhammered.

The thing tore at her hands, scratching, drawing blood.  It gouged the

soft flesh of her palms, and it ripped off one of her thumbnails.

She heard an eerie, high-pitched ululation quite unlike anything she

had heard before, and she didn't realize for several seconds that she

was listening to her own shrill, panicked screaming.

If she could have thrown the creature down, if she could have turned

away from it and run, she would have done just that, but suddenly she

found that she was unable to release it.  The thing had a fierce grip

on her arms, and it wouldn't let go.

She struggled with the inhumanly ferocious child, and the bassinet

almost tipped over.  Her shadow swayed wildly across the nearby bed and

up the wall, bobbing against the rounded ceiling.  Cursing, straining,

trying to keep the creature at arm's length, she managed to shift her

left hand to its throat, and then her right hand, and she squeezed

hard, bearing down, gritting her teeth, repelled by the savagery she

felt rising within herself, frightened by her own newly discovered

capacity for violence, but determined to choke the life out of the

thing.

It wasn't going to die easily.  Ellen was surprised by the rigid,

resistant muscles in its neck.  It crabbed its claws higher on her arms

and dug its nails into her again, making ten fresh puncture wounds in

her skin, and the pain prevented Ellen from putting all of her strength

into the frantic attempt to strangle the thing.

It rolled its eyes, then refocused on her with even more evident hatred

than before.

A silvery stream of thick drool oozed out of one corner of its mouth

and down its pebbled chin.

The twisted mouth opened wide, the dark, leathery lips writhed.  A

snaky, pale, pointed tongue curled and uncurled obscenely.

The child pulled Ellen toward it with improbable strength.  She could

not keep it safely at arm's length as she wanted.  It drew her

relentlessly down toward the bassinet, and at the same time it pulled

itself up.

Die, damn you!  Die!

She was bent over the bassinet now.  Leaning into it.  Her grip on the

child's throat was weakened by her new position.  Her face was only

eight or ten inches from the creature's repugnant countenance.  Its

rank breath washed over her.  It spat in her face again.

Something brushed her belly.

She gasped, jerked.

Fabric ripped.  Her blouse.

The child was kicking out with its long-toed, clawed feet.  It was

trying to gouge her breasts and stomach.  She attempted to draw back,

but the thing held her close, held her with demonic power and

perseverance.

Ellen felt dizzy, fuzzy, whiskey-sick, terror-sick, and her vision

blurred, and her ears were filled with the roaring suction of her own

breath, but she couldn't seem to breathe fast enough, she was

light-headed.  Sweat flew off her brow and spattered the child as she

wrestled with it.

The thing grinned as if it sensed triumph.

I'm losing, she thought desperately.  How can that be?  My God, it's

going to kill me.

Thunder pounded the sky, and lightning burst from the broken night.  A

mallet of wind struck the trailer broadside.

The lights went out.

And stayed out.

The child fought with renewed fury.

It was not weak like a human infant.  It had weighed almost eleven

pounds at birth, and it had gained, phenomenally, more than twelve

pounds in the past six weeks.  Almost twenty-three pounds now.  And no

fat.  Just muscle.  A hard, sinewy, gristly infant, like a young

gorilla.  It was as strong and energetic as the six-month-old

chimpanzee that performed in one of the carnival's more popular

sideshows.

The bassinet toppled with a crash, and Ellen stumbled over it.

She fell.  With the child.  It was close against her now.  No longer

safely at arm's reach.  It was on top of her.  Gurgling.  Snarling.

Its taloned feet found purchase on her hips, and it tried to tear

through the heavy denim jeans she was wearing.

"No!"  she shouted.

A thought snapped through her mind: I've got to wake up!

But she knew she was already awake.

The thing continued to hold her right arm, its nails hooked in her

flesh, but it let go of her left arm.  In the blackness she sensed the

hooked claw reaching for her throat, her vulnerable jugular vein.  She

turned her head aside.  The small yet incredibly long-fingered, deadly

hand brushed past her throat, barely missing her.

She rolled, and then the child-thing was on the bottom.

Whimpering, teetering on the wire of hysteria, she tore her right arm

loose of the creature's steely grip, at the expense of new pain, and

she felt for its arms in the darkness, found its wrists, held its hands

away from her face.

The thing kicked at her stomach again, but she avoided its short,

powerful legs.  She managed to put one of her knees on its chest,

pinning it.

She bore down on it with all of her weight, the creature's ribs and

breastbone gave way beneath her.  She heard something crack inside the

thing.

It wailed like a banshee.  Ellen knew, at last, that she had a chance

to survive.  There was a sickening crunch, a wet sound, a horrible

mashing, squashing, and all the fight went out of her adversary.  Its

arms went slack and stopped trying to resist her.  The creature

abruptly fell silent, limp.

Ellen was afraid to take her knee off its chest.  She was certain that

it was faking death.  If she shifted her weight, if she gave it the

slightest opening, the thing would move as fast as a snake, strike at

her throat, and then disembowel her with its spiky feet.

Seconds passed.

Then minutes.

In the darkness she began an urgent, whispered prayer: "Jesus, help

me.

Saint Elena, my patron saint, plead for me.  Mary, Mother of God, hear

me, help me.

Please, please, please.  Mary, help me, Mary, please .  . ."

The electric power was restored, and Ellen cried out at the unexpected

light.

Under her, on its back, blood still running from its nostrils and its

mouth, the child-thing stared up at her with glistening, bulging,

bloodshot eyes.  But it couldn't see her.  It was looking into another

world, into Hell, to which she had dispatched its soul--if it had a

soul.

There was a lot of blood.  Most of it wasn't Ellen's.

She released the child-thing.

It didn't return magically to life, as she had half expected it

would.

It didn't attack.

It looked like a huge, squashed bug.

She crawled away from the corpse, keeping one eye on it as she went,

not entirely convinced that it was dead.  She did not have sufficient

strength to stand up just yet.  She crept to the nearest wall and sat

with her back against it.

The night air was heavy with the coppery odor of blood, the stench of

her own sweat, and the clean ozone of the thunderstorm.

Gradually, Ellen's stentorian breathing subsided to a soft, rhythmic

lullaby of inhalation, exhalation, inhalation .  . .

As her fear dwindled along with the steady deceleration of her

heartbeat, she became increasingly aware of her pains, there was a

multitude of them.  She ached in every joint and every muscle from the

strain of wrestling with the child.  Her left thumb was bleeding where

the nail had been ripped off, the exposed flesh stung as if it were

being eaten away by acid.  Her scratched, scraped fingers burned, and

the gouged palm of her right hand throbbed.  Both of her forearms had

been scored repeatedly by the thing's sharp fingernails.

Each upper arm was marked by five, ugly, oozing punctures.

She wept.  Not just because of the physical pain.  Because of the

anguish, the stress, the fear.  With tears she was able to wash away

much of her tension and at least a small measure of her heavy burden of

guilt.

--I'm a murderer.

--No.  It was just an animal.

--It was my child.

--Not a child.  A thing.  A curse.

She was still arguing with herself, still trying to find a comfortable

set of rationalizations that would allow her to live with what she had

done, when the trailer door flew open and Conrad came inside,

backlighted by a strobe-flutter of lightning.  He was wearing a plastic

raincoat, streaming water, his thick black hair was soaked, and strands

of it were plastered across his broad forehead.  Wind rushed in at his

heels and, like a big dog, circled the room, sniffing inquisitively at

everything.

Raw, throat-tightening fear gripped Ellen again.

Conrad pulled the door shut.  Turning, he saw her sitting on the floor

with her back against the wall, her blouse torn, her arms and hands

bleeding.

She tried to explain why she had killed the child.  But she couldn't

speak.  Her mouth moved, but nothing came out of it except a dry,

frightening rasping.

Conrad's intensely blue eyes looked puzzled for a moment.  Then his

gaze traveled from Ellen to the bloody, crumpled child that was on the

floor a few feet from her.

His powerful hands curled into large, hard fists.  No," he said softly,

disbelievingly.  "No .  . . no .  . . no .  . ."

He moved slowly toward the small corpse.

Ellen looked up at him with growing trepidation.

Stunned, Conrad knelt beside the dead creature and stared at it for

what seemed like an eternity.  Then tears began to track down his

cheeks.  Ellen had never seen him cry before.  Finally he lifted the

limp body and held it close.

The childthing's bright blood dripped onto the plastic raincoat.

"My baby, my little baby, my sweet little boy," Conrad crooned.

"My boy .  . .

my son .  . . what's happened to you?  What did she do to you?  What

did she do?"

Ellen's burgeoning fear gave her new strength, though not much.

Bracing herself against the wall with one hand, she got to her feet.

Her legs were shaky, her knees felt as if they would buckle if she

dared take even one step.

Conrad heard her move.  He looked back at her.

"I .  . . I had to do it," she said shakily.

His blue eyes were cold.

"It attacked me," she said.

Conrad put down the body.  Gently.  Tenderly.

He isn't going to be that tender with me, Ellen thought.

"Please, Conrad.  Please understand."

He stood and approached her.

She wanted to run.  She couldn't.

You killed Victor," Conrad said thickly.

He had given the child-thing a name--Victor Martin Straker--which

seemed ludicrous to Ellen.  More than ludicrous.  Dangerous.  If you

started calling it by name, you started thinking of it as a human

baby.

And it wasn't human.  It wasn't, damn it.  It was evil.

You couldn't let your guard down for a moment when you were around it,

sentiment made you vulnerable.  She refused to call it Victor.  And she

even refused to admit that it had a sexual identity.  It wasn't a

little boy.  It was a little beast.

"Why?  Why did you kill my Victor?"  "It attacked me," she said

again.

"Look at me!"  She held up her bleeding hands and arms.  "Look what it

did to me."

The grief on Conrad's face had given way to an expression of blackest

hatred.

"You tried to kill him, and he fought back in self-defense."

"No.  It was awful.  Horrible.  It clawed me.  It tried to tear out my

throat.  It tried to--" "Shut up," he said between clenched teeth.

"Conrad, you know it was violent.  It scratched you sometimes.  If

you'll just face the truth, if you'll just look into your heart, you'll

have to admit I'm right.  We didn't create a child.  We created a

thing.  And it was bad.  It was evil, Conrad.  It--" "I told you to

shut your filthy mouth, you rotten bitch."

He was shaking with rage.  Flecks of foamy spittle dotted his lips.

Ellen cringed.  "Are you going to call the police?"  "You know a carny

never runs to the cops.  Carnies handle their own problems.  I know

exactly how to deal with disgusting filth like you."

He was going to kill her.  She was sure of it.

aWait, listen, give me a chance to explain.  What kind of life could it

have had anyway?"  she argued desperately.

Conrad glared at her.  His eyes were filled with cold fury but also

with madness.  His wintry gaze pierced her, and she felt almost as if

sl*ers of ice were being driven through her by some slow, silent,

barely perceptible but nonetheless devastating explosion.  Those were

not the eyes of a sane man.

She shivered.  "It would have been miserable all its life.  It would

have been a freak, ridiculed, rejected, despised.  It wouldn't have

been able to enjoy even the most ordinary pleasures.  I didn't do

anything wrong.  I only put the poor thing out of its misery.  That's

all I did.  I saved it from years and years of loneliness, from--"

Conrad slapped her face.  Hard.

She looked frantically left and right, unable to see even the slightest

opportunity for escape.

His sharp, clean features no longer looked aristocratic, his face was

frightening, stark, carved by shadows into a ferocious, wolflike

visage.

He moved in even closer, slapped her again.  Then he used his

fists--once, twice, three times, striking her in the stomach and the

ribs.

She was too weak, too exhausted to resist him.  She slid inexorably

toward the floor and, she supposed, toward death.

Mary, Mother of God!

Conrad grabbed her, held her up with one hand, and continued to slap

her, cursing her with each blow.  Ellen lost count of the number of

times he struck her, and she lost the ability to distinguish each new

pain from the myriad old pains with which she was afflicted, and the

last thing she lost was consciousness.

After an indeterminable period of time, she drifted back from a dark

place where guttural voices were threatening her in strange

languages.

She opened her eyes, and for a moment she didn't know where she was.

Then she saw the small, ghastly corpse on the floor, only a few feet

away.  The gnarled face, frozen for all time in a vicious snarl, was

turned toward her.

Rain drummed hollowly on the rounded roof of the trailer.

Ellen was sprawled on the floor.  She sat up.  She felt terrible, all

busted up inside.

Conrad was standing by the bed.  Her two suitcases were open, and he

was throwing clothes into them.

He hadn't killed her.  Why not?  He had intended to beat her to death,

she was certain of that.  Why had he changed his mind?

Groaning, she got to her knees.  She tasted blood, a couple of her

teeth were loose.  With tremendous effort, she stood.

Conrad shut the suitcases, carried them past her, pushed open the

trailer door, and threw the luggage outside.  Her purse was on the

kitchen counter, and he threw that out after the bags.  He wheeled on

her.  "Now you.

Get the hell out and don't ever come back."

She couldn't believe that he was going to let her live.  It had to be a

trick.

He raised his voice.  "Get out of here, slut!  Move.  Now!"

Wobbly as a colt taking its first steps, Ellen walked past Conrad.  She

was tense, expecting another attack, but he did not raise a hand

against her.

When she reached the door, where windblown rain lashed across the

threshold, Conrad said, "One more thing."

She turned to him, raising one arm to ward off the blow she knew had to

come sooner or later.

But he wasn't going to hit her.  He was still furious, but now he was

in control of himself.  "Some day you'll marry someone in the straight

world.

You'll have another child.  Maybe two, three."

His ominous voice contained a threat, but she was too dazed to perceive

what he was implying.  She waited for him to say more.

His thin, bloodless lips slowly peeled back in an arctic smile.

"When you have children again, when you have kids you love and cherish,

I'll come and take them away from you.  No matter where you go, no

matter how far away, no matter what your new name may be.  I'll find

you.  I swear I will.  I'll find you, and I'll take your children just

like you took my little boy.  I'll kill them."  "You're crazy," she

said.

His smile became a wide, humorless, death'shead grin.  "You won't find

a place to hide.  There won't be one safe corner anywhere in the

world.

Not one.  You'll have to keep looking over your shoulder as long as you

live.  Now get out of here, bitch.  Get out before I decide to kick

your damned head in after all."

He moved toward her.

Ellen quickly left the trailer, descended the two metal steps into the

darkness.  The trailer was parked in a small clearing, with trees

bracketing it, but there was nothing directly overhead to break the

falling rain, in seconds Ellen was soaked to the skin.

For a moment Conrad was outlined in the amber light that filled the

open doorway.  He glowered at her.  Then he slammed the door.

On all sides of her, trees shook in the wind.  The leaves made a sound

like hope being crumpled and discarded.

At last Ellen picked up her purse and her muddy suitcases.  She walked

through the motorized carny town, passing other trailers, trucks, cars,

and under the insistent fingers of the rain, every vehicle contributed

its tinny notes to the music of the storm.

She had friends in some of those trailers.  She liked many of the

carnival people she'd met, and she knew a lot of them liked her.  As

she plodded through the mud, she looked longingly at some of the

lighted windows, but she did not stop.  She wasn't sure how her carny

friends would react to the news that she had killed Victor Martin

Straker.  Most carnies were outcasts, people who didn't fit in anywhere

else, therefore, they were fiercely protective of their own, and they

regarded everyone else as a mark to be tapped or fleeced in one way or

another.  Their strong sense of community might even extend to the

horrid child-thing.  Furthermore, they were more likely to side with

Conrad than with her, for Conrad had been born of carny parents and had

been a carny since birth, while she had been converted to the roadshow

life only fourteen months ago.

She walked.

She left the grove and entered the midway.  Unobstructed, the storm

pummeled her more forcefully than it had done in the grove, it pounded

the earth, the gravel footpaths, and the patches of sawdust that spread

out from some of the sideshows.

The carnival was shut down tight.  Only a few lights burned, they swung

on wind-whipped wires, creating amorphous, dancing shadows.  The marks

had all gone home, banished by the foul weather.  The fairgrounds were

deserted.  Ellen saw no one other than two dwarves in yellow rain

slickers, they scurried between the silent carousel and the

Tilt-a-Whirl, past the gaudily illustrated kootch show, glancing at

Ellen, their eyes moon-bright and inquisitive in the darkness under

their rain hoods.

She headed toward the front gate.  She looked back several times,

afraid that Conrad would change his mind and come after her.

Tent walls rippled and thrummed and snapped in the wind, pulling at

anchor pegs.

In the sheeting rain that was now laced with tendrils of fog, the dark

Ferris wheel thrust up like a prehistoric skeleton, weird, mysterious,

its familiar lines obscured and distorted and made fantastic by the

night and the mist.

She passed the funhouse, too.  That was Conrad's concession.  He owned

it, and he worked there every day.  A giant, leering clown's face

peered down at her from atop the funhouse, as a joke, the artist had

modeled it after Conrad's face.  Ellen could see the resemblance even

in the gloom.  She had the disconcerting feeling that the clown's huge,

painted eyes were watching her.

She looked away from it and hurried on.

When she reached the main gate of the county fairgrounds, she stopped,

abruptly aware that she had no destination in mind.  There was no place

for her to go.  She had no one to whom she could turn.

The hooting wind seemed to be mocking her.

Later that night, after the storm front passed, when only a thin, gray

drizzle was falling, Conrad climbed onto the dark carousel in the

center of the deserted midway.  He sat on one of the gaily painted,

elaborately carved benches, not on a horse.

Cory Baker, the man who operated the merrygo-round, stood at the

controls behind the ticket booth.  He switched on the carousel's

lights.  He started the big motor, pushed a lever, and the platform

began to turn backwards.  Calliope music piped loudly, but it wasn't

able to dispel the dreary atmosphere that surrounded this ceremony.

The brass poles pumped up and down, up and down, gleaming.

The wooden stallions and mares galloped backwards, tail-first, around,

around.

Conrad, the sole passenger, stared straight ahead, tight-lipped,

grim.

Such a ride on a carousel was the traditional carnival way to dissolve

a marriage.  The bride and groom rode in the usual direction, forward,

when they wanted to wed, either of them could obtain a divorce by

riding backwards, alone.  Those ceremonies seemed absurd to outsiders,

but to carnies, their traditions were less ridiculous than the straight

world's religious and legal rituals.

Five carnies, witnesses to the divorce, watched the merry-go-round.

Cory Baker and his wife.  Zena Penetsky, one of the girls from the

kootch show.  Two freaks: the fat lady, who was also the bearded lady,

and the alligator man, whose skin was very thick and scaly.  They

huddled in the rain, watching silently as Conrad swept around through

the cool air, through the hollow music and the fog.

After the carousel had made half a dozen revolutions at normal speed,

Cory shut down the machine.  The platform gradually slowed.

As he waited for the carousel to drift to a stop, Conrad thought about

the children Ellen would have one day.  He raised his hands and stared

at them, trying to envision his fingers all red with the blood of

Ellen's offspring.  In a couple of years she would remarry, she was too

lovely to remain unattached for long.  Ten years from now she could

have at least one child.  In ten years Conrad would start looking for

her.  He would hire private investigators, he would spare no expense.

He knew that, by morning, Ellen would not take his threat seriously,

but he did.  And when he found her years from now, when she felt safe

and secure, he would steal from her that which she valued most.

Now, more than at any other time in his mostly unhappy life, Conrad

Straker had something to live for.  Vengeance.

Ellen spent the night in a motel near the county fairgrounds.

She didn't sleep well.  Although she had bandaged her wounds, they

still burned, and she couldn't find a comfortable position.  Worse than

that, every time she dozed off for a few minutes, she was plagued by

bloody nightmares.

Awake, staring at the ceiling, she worried about the future.

Where would she go?  What would she do?  She didn't have much money.

Once, at the deepest point of her depression, she considered suicide.

But she quickly dismissed that thought.  She might not be condemned to

Hell for having killed the child-thing, but she surely would be damned

for taking her own life.  To a Catholic, suicide was a mortal sin.

Having forsaken the Church in reaction to her mother's zealous support

of it, having been without faith for a few years, Ellen discovered that

she now belieued.  She was a Catholic again, and she longed for the

cleansing of confession, for the spiritual uplift of the Mass.  The

birth of that grotesque, malevolent child, and especially her recent

struggle with it, had convinced her that there were such things as

abstract evil and abstract good, forces of God and forces of Satan at

work in the world.

In the motel bed, with the covers drawn up to her chin, she prayed

often that night.

Toward dawn she finally managed to get a couple of hours of

uninterrupted, dreamless sleep, and when she woke up she did not feel

depressed.

A shaft of golden sunlight pierced the high window and came to rest

upon her, and as she luxuriated in the warmth and brightness, she began

to feel that there was hope for the future.  Conrad was behind her.

Forever.  The monstrous child was gone.

Forever.  The world was filled with interesting possibilities.

After all the sadness and pain and fear that she had endured, she was

long overdue for her share of happiness.

Already, she had put Conrad's threat out of her mind.

It was Tuesday, August 16, 1955.

O N E AMY HARPER

ON THE NIGHT of the senior prom, Jerry Galloway wanted to make love to

Amy.

His desire didn't surprise her.  He always wanted to make love.  He was

always pawing at her.  He couldn't get enough of her.

But Amy was beginning to think she'd had enough of Jerry.  Too much of

him, in fact.  She was pregnant.

Whenever she thought about being pregnant, she got a hollow, cold

sensation in her chest.  Afraid of what she would have to face in the

days ahead-- the humiliation, her father's disappointment, her mother's

fury--she shivered.

Several times during the evening, Jerry saw her shivering, and he

thought she was just bothered by a draft from the gymnasium's air

conditioning.  She was wearing a lacy, green, off-the shoulder gown,

and he kept suggesting that she put her shawl over her shoulders.

They danced only a few of the fast songs, but they didn't miss a single

slow number.  Jerry liked slow dancing.  He liked to hold Amy close,

pressing her tight against him, as they glided somewhat clumsily around

the floor.  He whispered in her ear while they danced, he told her that

she looked terrific, that she was the sexiest thing he had ever seen,

that all of the guys were surreptitiously staring at her cleavage, that

she made him hot, real hot.  He pressed so tightly against her that she

could feel his erection.

He wanted her to feel it because he wanted her to know that she turned

him on.

To Jerry's way of thinking, his erection was the greatest compliment he

could pay her.

Jerry was an ass.

As Amy allowed him to maneuver her around the crowded room, as she

permitted him to rub his body against her under the pretense of

dancing, she wondered why she had let him touch her in the first

place.

He was such a creep, really.

He was handsome, of course.  He was one of the handsomest boys in the

senior class.  A lot of girls thought Amy had made a wonderful catch

when she'd latched onto Jerry Galloway.

But you don't give your body to a guy just because he's good-looking,

she told herself.  My God, you've got to have higher standards than

that!

Jerry was handsome, but he wasn't nearly as intelligent as he was

good-looking.  He wasn't witty, clever, kind, or more than minimally

considerate.  He thought he was cool, and he was good at playing Joe

College, but there was no substance to him.

Amy looked around at the other girls in their silks and satins and

laces and chiffons, in their low-cut bodices, in their Empire-waist

dresses, in their backless gowns and long skirts and pumps, in their

elaborate hairdos and carefully applied makeup and borrowed jewelry.

All those girls were laughing and pretending to be ultra-sophisticated,

glamorous, even world-weary.  Amy envied them.  They were having so

much fun.

And she was pregnant.

She was afraid she was going to cry.  She bit her tongue and held back

the tears.

The prom was scheduled to last until one o'clock in the morning.

Afterwards, from one-thirty until three o'clock, there was an

extravagant breakfast buffet in one of the town's nicest restaurants.

Amy had been allowed to come to the prom, but she hadn't been given

permission to attend the breakfast.  It was all right with her father,

but, as usual, her mother objected.  Her father said she could stay out

until three because this was a special night, but her mother wanted her

home by ten, three whole hours before the prom ended.  Amy always had

to be home by ten on weekends, nine o'clock on school nights.  Tonight,

however, her father interceded on her behalf, and her mother grudgingly

compromised, Amy didn't have to be home until one o'clock.  Her mother

didn't like making that concession, and later, in a hundred small

telling ways, she would make Amy pay for it.

If Mother could have her way, Amy thought, if Daddy didn't stick up for

me now and then, I wouldn't be permitted to date at all.  I wouldn't be

permitted to do anything except go to church.

"You're dynamite," Jerry Galloway whispered as he took her in his arms

for another dance.  "You make me so hot, baby."

Dear, dear Mother, Amy thought bitterly, just look at how well all your

rules and regulations have worked.  All your prayers, all those years

you dragged me to Mass three or four or five times a week, all those

nightly recitations of the rosary that I had to take part in before I

could go to sleep.

You see, Mother?  See how well all of that has worked?  I'm pregnant.

Knocked up.  What would Jesus think about that?  And what will you

think about that when you find out?  What will you think about having a

bastard grandchild, Mother?

"You're shivering again," Jerry said.

"Just a chill."

A few minutes after ten o'clock, while the orchestra was playing

aScarborough Fair," and while Jerry was pushing Amy around the dance

floor, he suggested they cut out and spend the rest of the night

together, in their own way, just the two of them, just (as he so

transparently put it) proving their love to each other.  This was

supposed to be a special night for a girl, a time to store up good

memories, not just another cheap opportunity to screw around in the

backseat of her boyfriend's car.  Besides, they had arrived at the

dance only two and a half hours ago.

Jerry's eagerness was unseemly and more than a little selfish.

But after all, she reminded herself, he was just a horny teenager, not

a real man, and certainly not a romantic.  Besides, she couldn't really

enjoy herself anyway, not with everything she had to worry about.  She

agreed to leave with him, although what she had in mind for the

remainder of the evening was much different from the steamy makeout

session he was contemplating.

As they left the gymnasium, which the decorating committee had tried

desperately to transform into a ballroom, Amy glanced back wistfully,

taking one last look at the crepe paper and the tinsel and the

carnations made out of Kleenex tissues.  The lights were low.  A

revolving, mirrored globe hung above the dance floor, turning slowly,

casting down splinters of color from its thousand facets.  The room

should have looked exotic, magical.  But it only made Amy sad.

Jerry owned a meticulously restored, fussily maintained,

twenty-year-old Chevrolet.  He drove out of town, along narrow, winding

Black Hollow Road.

Eventually he pulled off on a single-lane, dirt track near the river

and squeezed the car in among the high brush and the scattered trees.

He switched off the headlights, then the engine, and he rolled down his

window a couple of inches to let in a warm current of fresh night

air.

This was their usual parking spot.  It was here that Amy had gotten

pregnant.

Jerry slid out from behind the wheel.  He smiled at her, and his teeth

looked phosphorescent in the calcimined moonlight that streamed through

the trees and the windshield.  He took Amy's right hand and put it

firmly on his crotch.  "Feel that, baby?  See how you get to me?"

"Jerry--" "No girl has ever gotten to me like you do."

He slipped one hand in her bodice, feeling her breasts.

"Jerry, wait a minute."

He leaned toward her, kissed her neck.  He smelled of Old Spice.

She took her hand off his crotch and resisted him.

He didn't take the hint.  He removed his hand from her bodice only long

enough to reach behind her for the zipper to her dress.

"Jerry, damn it!"  She shoved him away.

He blinked stupidly.  "Huh?  What's wrong?"

"You're panting like a dog."

"You turn me on."  "A knothole would turn you on."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I want to talk," she said.

"Talk?"

"People do, you know.  They talk before they screw."

He stared at her for a moment, then sighed and said, "All right.

What do you want to talk about?"  "It's not what I want to talk about,"

she said.  "It's what we haue to talk about."

"You aren't making sense, baby.  What is this-- a riddle or something"

She took a deep breath and blurted out the bad news: "I'm pregnant."

For a few seconds the night was so perfectly still that she could hear

the soft gurgling of the river washing along the shore twenty feet

away.  A frog croaked.

Ys this a joke?"  Jerry asked at last.

"You're really pregnant?"  ayes.

"Oh, shit."  "Ah," she said sarcastically, "what an eloquent summary of

the situation."  "Did you miss your period or what?"  "I missed it last

month.  And I'm overdue this month again."  "You been to a doctor?"

"Maybe you aren't."  "I am."  "You aren't getting big."  "It's too

early to show."

He was silent for a while, staring out at the trees and the black, oily

river beyond.  Then: "How could you do this to me?"

His question stunned her.  She gaped at him, and when she saw he was

serious, she laughed bitterly.  "Maybe I wasn't paying much attention

in biology class, but the way I understand it, you did it to me, not

the other way around.  And don't try to blame it on parthenogenesis

either."  aPartho-what?"  "Parthenogenesis.  That's when the female

gets pregnant without having to find a male to fertilize her egg."

With a note of hope in his voice, he said, "Hey, is that possible?"

God, he was a dolt.  Why had she ever given herself to him?  They had

nothing in common.  She was artistically inclined, she played the

flute, and she liked to draw.  Jerry had no interest whatsoever in the

arts.  He liked cars and sports, and Amy had little tolerance for

conversation about either of those things.

She liked to read, he thought books were for girls and sissies.

Except for sex, cars, and football, no subject could engage him for

more than ten minutes, he had a child's attention span.  So why had she

given herself to him?

Why?

"Oh, sure," she said in answer to his question.  "Sure, parthenogenesis

might be possible--if I was an insect.  Or a certain kind of plant."

"You're sure it can't happen to people?" he asked.

"God, Jerry, you can't really be that dumb.  You're putting me on,

aren't you?"  "Hell, I never listened to old Amoeba Face Peterson in

biology," Jerry said defensively.  "That stuff always bored my ass

off."  He was silent for a minute, and she waited, and finally he said,

so what are you going to do?"  "I'll get an abortion," she said.

He brightened up immediately.  "Yeah.  Yeah, that's the best thing.

It really is.  That's smart.  That's the best thing for both of us.  I

mean, you know, we're too young to be tied down with a kid."  aWe'll

cut school on Monday," she said.  aWe'll find a doctor and set up an

appointment to have it done."  "You mean you want me to go with you?"

"of course."  Why?

"For Christ's sake, Jerry, I don't want to go by myself.  I don't want

to face it alone."  "There's nothing to be scared of," he said.  "You

can handle it.  I know you can."

She glared at him.  "You're coming with me.  You've got to.  For one

thing, you'll have to approve the doctor's fee.  Maybe we'll have to

shop around for the best price."  She shuddered.  "That's up to you."

"You mean .  . . you want me to pay for the abortion?"  "I think that's

fair."  "How much?"  "I don't know.  Probably a few hundred."  "I

can't," he said.

"What?"  "I can't pay for it, Amy."  "You've had a real good job the

past two summers.  And you work weekends most of the year."  "Stocking

shelves in a grocery store doesn't pay a whole hell of a lot, you

know."  "Union wages."  Yeah, but-"You bought this car and fixed it

up.

You have a pretty good savings account.

You've bragged about that often enough."

He squirmed.  "I can't touch my savings."  "Why not?"  "I need every

dollar for California."  "I don't understand."  "Two weeks from now,

after graduation, I'm going to blow this stupid town.

There ain't any future here for me.  Royal City.  What a laugh.

There's nothing royal about this dump.  And it sure ain't a city.  It's

just fifteen thousand people living in a dump in the middle of Ohio,

which is just another, bigger dump."  "I like it." "I don't."  aBut

what do you expect to find in California?"  "Are you kidding There's a

million opportunities out there for a guy with a lot on the ball."

aBut what do you expect to find there for you?"  she asked.

He didn't understand what she meant, he didn't feel her slip the needle

in.  "I just told you, baby.  In California, there's more opportunities

than anywhere else in the world.  Los Angeles.  That's the place for

me.  Hell, yes.  A guy like me can go real far in a city like L.A."

"Doing what?"  "Anything."  "Such as?"  "Absolutely anything."  "How

long have you been planning to go to L.A.?"

Sheepishly, he said, "For about a year now."  "You never told me."  "I

didn't want to upset you."  "You were just going to quietly disappear."

"Hey, no.  No, I was going to keep in touch, baby.  I even figured

maybe you'd come along with me."  aLike hell you did.  Jerry, you have

to pay for the abortion."  "Why can't you pay for it?"  He was

whining.

"You had a job last summer.  You've been working weekends just like

me."  aMy mother controls my savings account.  There's no way I can

withdraw that much cash without telling her why I need it.  No way."

"sO tell her."  "God, I can't.  She'd kill me."  "She'd scream a lot,

and you'd probably be grounded for a while.

But she'll get over it." "She won't.  She'll kill me."  "Don't be

pid.  She won't kill you."  "You don't know my mother.  She's very

strict.  And she's .  . .

mean sometimes.

Besides, we're a Catholic family.  My mother is very devout.  Very,

very devout.

And to a devout Catholic, abortion is a terrible sin.  It's murder.  My

father even does some free legal work for the Right-to-Life League.

He's not so fanatical about religion as my mother is.  He's a pretty

straight guy, but I don't think he'd ever approve an abortion.  And I

know my mother wouldn't.  Not in a million years.  She'd make me have

the baby.  I know she would.  And I can't.  I just can't.  Oh, God, I

can't."

She started to cry.

"Hey, baby, it's not the end of the world."  He put an arm around

her.

"You'll come through this okay.  It's not as bad as you think.  Life

goes on, you know."

She didn't want to lean on him for either emotional or physical

support.  Not on him, of all people.  But she couldn't help it.  She

put her head on his shoulder, despising herself for this weakness.

"Easy," he said.  "Take it easy.  Everything's going to be just

fine."

When the tears finally stopped flowing, she said, "Jerry, you've got to

help me.  You've got to, that's all."  "Well .  . ."

Jerry, please.

"You know I would if I could."

She sat up straight, dabbing at her eyes with her handkerchief.

"Jerry, part of the responsibility is yours.  Part of--" "I can't," he

said firmly, taking his arm away from her.

"Just lend me the money.  I'll pay you back."  "You can't pay me back

in just two weeks.  And I'll need every dollar I've got when I go to

California the first of June."  "Just a loan," she said, not wanting to

beg but having no choice.

"I can't, can't, can't!"  He shouted like a child throwing a tantrum.

His voice was high, screechy.  "Forget it!  Just forget it, Amy!  I

need every penny I've got for when I get out of this stinking town."

Oh God, I hate him!

And she hated herself, too, for what she'd let him do.

"If you don't at least lend me the money, I'll call your parents.

I'll tell them I'm carrying your child.  I'll put the heat on you,

derry."

She didn't think she really had the nerve to do something like that,

but she hoped the threat of it would make him be reasonable.  "God help

me, I'll even make you marry me if that's the last resort, but I won't

go down alone."

"What do you want from me, for Christ's sake?"  "Just a little help.

Decency.

That's all."  "You can't make me marry you."  "Maybe not," she

admitted.  aBut I can cause you a lot of trouble, and maybe I can force

you to contribute to the support of the baby."  "You can't force me to

do anything if I'm in another state.  You can't make me pay up from

California."  "Well see about that," she said, although she thought he

was probably right.

"Anyway, you can't prove I'm the father."

Who else?"  "How should I know?"  "You're the only one I've been doing

it with."

"I sure wasn't the first," he said.

"You bastard."  "Eddie Talbot was the first."  "I haven't done anything

with anyone else since I started going with you six months ago."  "How

do I know that's true?"  "You know," Amy said, loathing him.  She

wanted to kick him and hit him and scratch his face until it was a

bloody mess, but she restrained herself, hoping she might yet gain some

concession from him.  "It is your baby, Jerry.  There's no doubt about

that."  "I never came inside you," he argued.

"A couple of times you did.  Once is all it takes."

Yf you tried to nail me in court or something like that, I'd get five

or six friends to swear they'd been in your pants during the past

couple of months."  aIn my whole life there's never been anyone but

Eddie and then you!"  aIn court it'd be your word against theirs."

"They'd be committing perjury."

"I've got good buddies who'd do anything to protect me."  "Even destroy

my reputation?"  "What reputation?"  he asked, sneering.

Amy felt sick.

It was hopeless.  There was no way she could force him to do the right

thing.

She was alone.

"Take me home," she said.

"Gladly," he said.

The drive back to town took half an hour.  During that time neither of

them said a word.

The Harper house was on Maple Lane, a solidly middle-class neighborhood

of wellmanicured lawns and shrubs, fresh paint, and two-car garages.

The Harpers lived in a two-story, neo-colonial house, white with green

shutters flanking the windows.  Lights were on downstairs, in the

living room.

As Jerry pulled the Chevy to the curb and braked in front of the house,

Amy said, aWe'll probably be passing each other in the halls during

final exam week.  And we'll see each other at graduation two weeks from

now.  But I guess this is the last time we'll be talking."  aBet on

it," he said coldly.

"sO I wouldn't want to miss this opportunity to tell you what a rotten

son of a bitch you are," she said as evenly as she could.

He stared at her but said nothing.

"You're an immature little boy, Jerry.  You're not a man, and you'll

probably never be a man."

He didn't respond.  They were parked beneath a street light, and she

could see his face clearly, he was impassive.

She was angered by his refusal to react to her.  She wanted to leave

with the knowledge that she had hurt him as badly as he had hurt her

with his comment about her reputation.  But she was not very good at

vituperation.

She didn't have a talent for quarreling.  Ordinarily she preferred to

live and let live, but in this case the injustice she had suffered at

Jerry's hands was so great that she felt an uncharacteristic urge to

retaliate.  She steeled herself to make one last attempt to sting

him.

"One other thing I want to tell you as sort of a favor to your next

girlfriend," Amy said.  "There's another way you're like a little boy,

Jerry.

You make love like a little boy.  You're immature in that department,

too.  I kept hoping you'd get better at it, but you never did.  You

know how many times you managed to make me come?  Three times.  Out of

all those nights we made love, I climaxed only three times.

You're clumsy, rough, and quick on the trigger.  A regular minuteman.

Do your next girlfriend a favor and at least read a couple of books

about sex.  Eddie Talbot wasn't all that great, but compared to him

you're really a lousy fuck."

She saw his face darken and tighten as she spoke, and she knew she had

finally gotten to him.  Feeling a sick sort of triumph, she opened her

door and started to get out.

He grabbed her wrist and held her in the car.  "You know what you

are?

You're a pig, that's what."  "Let go of me," she said sharply, trying

to pry herself loose of him.

"If you don't let go, I just might tell you how that pathetic little

thing between your legs measures up to Eddie Talbot, and I'm sure you

don't want to hear that."

She heard herself, and she didn't like how hard and sluttish she

sounded, however, at the same time, she took a fierce, primitive

delight in the shock that was visible in his face.

Several times over the past six months, she had sensed his sexual

insecurity, and now it was quite evident indeed.  He was furious.  He

did not merely let go of her wrist, he flung it away from him, as if he

suddenly realized he was holding onto a snake.

As she got out of the car, he said, "You bitch!  I hope your old lady

does make you keep the kid.  And you know what?  I hope the damned

thing's not right.

Yeah.  I hope it's not right.  I hope it's not normal.  You're such a

smart-mouthed bitch, I hope you're stuck with some drooling little

creep who's not normal.  Your smart mouth wouldn't get you out of that

one."

She looked in at him and said, "You're disgusting."  Before he could

respond, she slammed the door.

He threw the Chevy in gear, stomped on the accelerator, and drove away

with a protracted squeal of tires.

In the ensuing silence, a night bird shrieked.

Amy moved through a cloud of acrid blue smoke that smelled of burning

rubber, and she started up the walk toward the house.  After a couple

of steps, she began to tremble violently.

When her father had approved of her staying out later than usual, he

had said, The senior prom is a special night in a girl's life.  It's an

euent.  Like a sixteenth birthday or a twenty-first.  There's really

not another night quite like the night of a girl's senior prom.

As it turned out, there was a perverse sort of truth in what he had

said.  Amy had never lived through a night quite like this one.  And

she hoped she'd never know another one like it, either.

Prom night.  Saturday, May 17, 1980.

That date would be burned in her memory forever.

When she reached the front door, she paused, her hand resting on the

knob.  She dreaded going into the house.  She didn't want to face her

mother tonight.

Amy didn't intend to reveal the fact that she was pregnant.  Not just

yet.  In a few days, perhaps.  In a week or two.  And only if she were

left with no other choice.  In the meantime she would search diligently

for other exits from her predicament, even though she didn't have much

hope of finding another way out.

She didn't want to talk to her parents now because she was so nervous,

so upset over Jerry's treatment of her that she didn't trust herself to

keep the secret.  She might let something slip by accident or out of a

subconscious need for punishment and pity.

Her hand, damp with sweat, was still on the doorknob.

She considered just walking away, leaving town, starting a new life.

But she had nowhere to go.  She had no money.

The load of responsibility she had shouldered was almost too much for

her.  And when Jerry had lashed out in a childish attempt to hurt her,

when he had wished a deformed baby on her, he had added another weight

to the burden she bore.  She didn't believe that Jerry's curse had any

real power, of course.  But it was possible that her mother would force

her to have the baby, and it was possible that the baby would be

deformed and forever dependent upon her.  The chance of that happening

was small, but not so small that she could put it out of her mind,

misfortune of that nature befell people all the time.  Crippled

children were born every day.  Legless and armless babies.

Misshapen babies.

Brain-damaged children.  The list of possible birth defects was very

long--and very frightening.

Again, a night bird cried.  It was a mournful sound that matched her

mood.

Finally she opened the door and went into the house.

THIN, TALCUM-WHITE, with streaming hair the color and texture of spider

webs, dressed all in white, Ghost hurried along the busy carnival

midway.  He moved like a pale column of smoke, slipping effortlessly

through the narrowest gaps in the crowd, he appeared to flow with the

currents of the night breeze.

From the funhouse barker's platform, four feet above the midway, Conrad

Straker watched the albino.  Straker had stopped in the middle of his

come-on spiel the instant he had seen Ghost approaching.  Behind

Straker, the raucous funhouse music blared continuously.  Every thirty

seconds the giant clown's face--a much larger, more sophisticated, and

more animated version of the face that had topped his first funhouse,

twenty-seven years ago--winked down at the passersby and let out a

recorded, four-bark laugh: aHaa,haa,haa,haaaaa."

As he waited for the albino, Straker lit a cigarette.  His hand shook,

the match bobbled.

At last Ghost reached the funhouse and pulled himself up onto the

barker's platform.  "It's done," he said.  "I gave her the free

ticket."  He had a cool, feathery voice that nevertheless carried

clearly above the carnival din.

"She wasn't suspicious?"  "Of course not.  She was thrilled to have her

fortune told for free.

She acted like she really believed that Madame Zena could see into the

future."  "I wouldn't want her to think she'd been singled out,"

Straker said worriedly.

"Relax," Ghost said.  "I gave her the usual dumb story, and she bought

it.  I said my job was to wander up and down the midway, giving out

free tickets for this and that, just to stir up interest.  Public

relations."

Frowning, Straker said, "You're positive you approached the right

girl?"  "The one you pointed out."

Above them, the enormous clown's face broadcast another tinny burst of

laughter.

Taking small, quick, nervous drags on his cigarette, Straker said, "She

was sixteen or seventeen.  Very dark hair, almost black.  Dark eyes.

About five foot five."

"Sure," Ghost said.  aLike the others, last season."  "This one was

wearing a blue and gray sweater.

She was with a blond boy about her age."  "That's the one," Ghost said,

combing his lank hair with his long, slender, milky-white fingers.

"Are you sure she used the ticket?"  aYes.  I walked her straight to

Zena's tent."

"Maybe this time .  . ."  "What does Zena do with these kids you steer

to her?"  aWhile she tells their fortunes, she finds out as much about

them as she can-their names, their parents' names, a lot of things like

that."  "Why?"  "Because I want to know."  aBut why do you want to

know?"  "That's none of your business."

Behind them, inside the enormous funhouse, several young girls screamed

at something that popped out at them from the darkness.  There was a

phony quality to their squeals of terror, like thousands of teenage

girls before them, they were pretending to be frightened witless, so

that they would have an excuse to cuddle closer to the young men beside

them.

Ignoring the screams behind him, Ghost stared intently at Straker, the

albino's almost colorless, semitransparent eyes were disconcerting.

"Something I have to know.  Have you ever .  . . well .  . . have you

ever touched one of these kids I've sent to Zena?"

Straker glared at him.  "If you're asking me whether I've sexually

molested any of the young girls and boys in whom I've shown an

interest, the answer is no.

That's ridiculous."  "I sure wouldn't want to be a part of something

like that," Ghost said.

"You've got an ugly, dirty little mind," Straker said, disgusted.

"I'm not looking for fresh meat, for God's sake.  I'm searching for one

child in particular, someone special."  "Who?"  "That's none of your

business."  Excited, as always, by the prospect of finally,

successfully concluding his long search, Conrad said, "I've got to get

over to Zena's tent.  She's probably just about finished with the

girl.

This could be the one.  This could be the one I've been looking for."

In the funhouse, their voices muffled by the walls, the girls screamed

again.

As Straker turned toward the platform steps, anxious to hear what Zena

had discovered, the albino put a hand on his arm, detaining him.

"Last season, in almost every town we hit, there was a kid who caught

your eye.

Sometimes two or three kids.  How long have you been looking?"

"Fifteen years."

Ghost blinked.  For a moment a pair of thin, translucent lids covered

but did not fully conceal his strange eyes.  "Fifteen years?  That

doesn't make sense."  "To me, it makes perfect sense," Straker said

coldly.

"Look, last year was my first season working for you, and I didn't want

to complain about anything until I understood your routines better.

But that business with the kids really bugged me.  There's something

creepy about it.

And now it's starting all over again this year.  I just don't like

being a part of it." "Then quit," Straker said sharply.  "Go to work

for someone else."  aBut, except for this one thing, I like the job.

It's good work and good pay."  "Then do what you're told, take your

paycheck, and shut up," Straker said.  "Or get the hell out.  It's your

choice."

Straker tried to pull away from the albino, but Ghost would not

relinquish his hold on the larger man's arm.  His bony, clammy,

death-white hand had a surprisingly strong grip.  "Tell me one thing.

Just to set my mind at ease."  "What is it?"  Straker asked

impatiently.

"If you ever find who you're looking for, do you intend to hurt him .

. . or her?"  "Of course not," Straker lied.  "Why would I hurt him?"

"Well, I don't understand why you're so obsessed with this search,

unless--" "Look," Straker said, "there's a woman to whom I'm deeply

indebted.  I've lost track of her over the years.  I know she has

children by now, and every time I see a kid who resembles her, I check

it out.  I figure I might be lucky enough to stumble across her

daughter or son, find her, and repay the debt."

Ghost frowned.  "You're going to an awful lot of trouble just to--"

"It's an awfully big debt," Straker said, interrupting him.  "It's on

my conscience.  I won't rest easy until I repay it." aBut the chance

that she'd have a kid that looks like her, the chance that her kid will

come wandering past your funhouse some day .  . . Do you realize what a

long shot that is?"  "I know it's unlikely," Straker said.  aBut it

doesn't cost me anything to keep an eye out for kids who resemble

her.

And crazier things happen."

The albino looked into Straker's eyes, searching for signs of deception

or truth.

Straker was not able to read anything in Ghost's eyes, for they were

too strange to be interpreted.  Because they were without color, they

were also without character.  White and faded pink.  Watery.

Bottomless eyes.

The albino's gaze was piercing but cold, emotionless.

At last Ghost said, "All right.  I guess if you're just trying to find

someone to repay an old debt .  . . there's nothing wrong with me

helping you."  "Good.  It's settled.  Now I've got to talk to Gunther

for a minute, and then I'm going over to Zena's.  You take over the

pitchman's roost for me," Straker said, finally managing to pull free

of the albino's moist hand.

Inside the funhouse a new chorus of girlish voices wailed in a shrill

imitation of horror.

As the huge clown's face spat out another mechanical laugh, Straker

hurried across the barker's platform, beneath a banner that proclaimed

THE BIGGEST FUNHOUSE IN THE WORLD!  He descended the wooden steps, went

past the red-and-black ticket booth, and paused for a moment near the

boarding gate where sever al ticket holders were stepping down into the

brightly painted gondolas that would carry them through the funhouse.

Conrad looked up at Gunther, who was standing on a six-foot-square

platform to the left of the boarding gate and four feet above it.

Gunther was waving his long arms and growling at the marks below him,

pretending to threaten them.  He was an impressive figure, better than

six and a half feet tall, more than two hundred and fifty pounds of

bone and muscle.  His shoulders were enormous.  He was dressed all in

black, and his entire head was covered by a Hollywood-quality,

Frankenstein monster mask that disappeared under his collar.  He was

also wearing monster gloves--big, green rubber hands streaked with fake

blood--that extended beneath the cuffs of his jacket.

Suddenly Gunther noticed Conrad looking up at him, and he turned,

favoring him with an especially fierce growl.

Straker grinned.  He made a circle with the thumb and forefinger of his

right hand, giving Gunther a sign of approval.

Gunther capered around the platform in a clumsy monster dance of

delight.

The people waiting to board the gondolas laughed and applauded the

monster's performance.

With a fine sense of theater, Gunther abruptly turned vicious once more

and roared at his audience.  A couple of girls screamed.

Gunther bellowed and shook his head and snarled and stamped his foot

and hissed and waved his arms.  He enjoyed his work.

Smiling, Straker turned away from the funhouse and walked into the

river of people that flowed along the midway.  But as he drew nearer to

Zena's tent, his smile faded.  He thought of the dark-haired, dark-eyed

girl he'd seen from the barker's platform a short while ago.  Maybe

this was the one.

Maybe this was Ellen's child.  After all these years, the thought of

what she'd done to his little boy still filled him with a fiery rage,

and the possibility of revenge still made his heart beat faster, still

caused his blood to race with excitement.  Long before he reached

Zena's tent, his smile had metamorphosed into a scowl.

Dressed in red and black and gold, wearing a spangled scarf and a lot

of rings and too much mascara, Zena sat alone in the dimly lighted

tent, waiting for Conrad.  Four candles burned steadily inside four

separate glass chimneys, casting an orange glow that did not reach into

the corners.  The only other light was from the illuminated crystal

ball that stood in the center of the table.

Music, excited voices, the spiels of pitchmen, and the clatter of the

thrill rides filtered through the canvas walls from the midway.

To the left of the table, a raven stood in a large cage, head cocked,

one shiny black eye focused on the crystal ball.

Zena, who called herself Madame Zena and pretended to be a Gypsy with

psychic powers, had not a drop of Romany blood in her and actually

couldn't see anything in the future other than the fact that tomorrow

the sun would rise and subsequently set.  She was of Polish

extraction.

Her full name was Zena Anna Penetsky.

She had been a carny for twenty-eight years, since she was just

fifteen, and she had never longed for another life.  She liked the

travel, the freedom, and the carnival people.

Once in a while, however, she grew weary of telling fortunes, and she

was disturbed by the endless gullibility of the marks.  She knew a

thousand ways to con a mark, a thousand ways to convince him (after he

had already paid for a palm reading) to shell out a few more dollars

for a purportedly more complete look into his future.  The ease with

which she manipulated people embarrassed her.  She told herself that

what she did was all right because they were only marks, not carnies,

and therefore not real people.  That was the traditional carny

attitude, but Zena could not be that hard all the time.  Now and then

she was troubled by guilt.

Occasionally she considered giving up fortunetelling.  She could take a

partner, someone who had done the palm-reading scam before.  It meant

sharing the profits, but that didn't worry Zena.  She also owned a

bottle-pitch joint and a very profitable grab joint, and after overhead

she netted more each year than any half-dozen marks earned at their

boring jobs in the straight world.

But she continued to play Gypsy fortune-teller because she had to do

somethirlg, she wasn't the kind of person who could just sit back and

take it easy.

By the age of fifteen, she had been a welldeveloped woman, and she had

begun her carnival career as a kootch dancer.  These days, as she

became increasingly dissatisfied with her role as Madame Zena, she

frequently considered opening a girl show of her own.  She even toyed

with the idea of performing again.  It might be a kick.

She was forty-three, but she knew she could still excite a tentful of

horny marks.  She looked ten years younger than she was.  Her hair was

chestnut-brown and thick, untouched by gray, it framed a strong,

pleasing, unlined face.  Her eyes were a rare shade of violet--warm,

kind eyes.  Years ago, when she'd first worked as a kootch dancer,

she'd been voluptuous.  She still was.

Through diet and exercise, she had maintained her splendid figure, and

nature had even cooperated by miraculously sparing her large breasts

from the downward drag of gravity.

But even as she fantasized about returning to the stage, she knew the

hootchie-kootchie was not in her future.  The kootch was just another

way of manipulating the marks, no different from fortune-telling, in

essence it was the very thing that she needed to get away from for a

while.  She would have to think of something else she could do.

The raven stirred on its perch and flapped its wings, interrupting her

thoughts.

An instant later Conrad Straker entered the tent.  He sat in the chair

where the marks always sat, across the table from Zena.  He leaned

forward, anxious, tense.  "Well?"

No luck," Zena said.

He leaned even closer.  "Are you positive we're talking about the same

girl?"

"Yes."

"She was wearing a blue and gray sweater."

"Yes, yes," Zena said impatiently.  "She had the ticket that Ghost had

given her."

"What was her name?  Did you find out her name?"

"Of course.  Laura Alwine."

"Her mother's name?"

"Sandra.  Not Ellen.  Sandra.  And Sandra is a natural blonde, not a

brunette like Ellen was.  Laura gets her dark hair and eyes from her

father, she says.

I'm sorry, Conrad.  I pumped the girl for a lot of information while I

was telling her fortune, but none of it matches what you're looking

for.  Not a single detail of it." "I was sure she was the one."

"You're always sure."

He stared at her, and gradually his face grew red.  He looked down at

the tabletop, and he became rapidly, visibly angrier, as if he saw

something in the grain of the wood that outraged him.  He slammed his

fist into the table.

Slammed it down once, twice.  Hard.  Half a dozen times.  Then again

and again and again.  The tent was filled with the loud, measured

drumbeat of his fury.

He was shaking, panting, sweating.  His eyes were glazed.  He began to

curse, and he sprayed spittle across the table.  He made strange,

harsh, animal noises in the back of his throat, and he continued to

pound the table as if it were a living creature that had wronged him.

Zena wasn't startled by his outburst.  She was accustomed to his

maniacal rages.  She had once been married to him for two years.

On a stormy night in August, 1955, she had stood in the rain, watching

him ride backwards on the carousel.  He had looked so very handsome

then, so romantic, so vulnerable and brokenhearted that he had appealed

to both her carnal and maternal instincts, and she had been drawn to

him in a way she never had been drawn to another man.  In February of

the following year, they rode the carousel forward, together.

Just two weeks after the wedding, Conrad flew into a rage over

something Zena did, and he struck hen-repeatedly.  She was too stunned

to defend herself.

Afterward he was contrite, embarrassed, appalled by what he had done.

He wept and begged forgiveness.  She was certain that his fit of

violence was an aberration, not ordinary behavior.  Three weeks later,

however, he attacked her again, leaving her badly bruised and

battered.

Two weeks after that, when he was seized by another fit, he tried to

hit her, but she struck first.  She rammed a knee into his crotch and

clawed his face with such frenzy that he backed off.  Thereafter,

forewarned, always watching for the first sign of one of his oncoming

rages, she was able, after a fashion, to protect herself.

Zena worked hard at the marriage, trying to make it last in spite of

her husband's explosive temper.  There were two Conrad Strakers, she

hated and feared one of them, but she loved the other.  The first

Conrad was a brooding, pessimistic, violence-prone man, as

unpredictable as an animal, with a shocking talent and taste for

sadism.  The second Conrad was kind, thoughtful, even charming, a good

lover, intelligent, creative.  For a while Zena believed that a lot of

love and patience and understanding would change him.  She was

convinced that the frightening Mr. Hyde personality would fade

completely away, and that in time Conrad would settle down and be just

the good Dr. Jekyll.  Instead, the more love and understanding she

gave him, the more frequently he became violent and abusive, as if he

were determined to prove that he was not worthy of her love.

She knew that he despised himself.  His inability to like himself and

be at peace in his own mind, the frustration generated by his incurable

selfhatred-that was the root of his periodic, maniacal rages.

Something monstrous had happened to him a long, long time ago, in his

formative years, some unspeakable childhood tragedy that had scarred

him so deeply that nothing, not even Zena's love, could heal him.  Some

horror in his distant past, some terrible disaster for which he felt

responsible, gave him bad dreams every night of his life.  He was

consumed by an unquenchable guilt that burned in him year after year

with undiminished brightness, turning his heart, piece by piece, into

bitter ashes.  Many times Zena had tried to learn the secret that

gnawed at Conrad, but he had been afraid to tell her, afraid that the

truth would repel her and turn her against him forever.  She had

assured him that nothing he told her would make her loathe him.  It

would have been good for him to unburden himself at last.  But he could

not do it.

Zena could learn only one thing: the event that haunted him had

transpired on Christmas Eve, when he was only twelve years old.  From

that night forward, he had been a changed person, day by day, he had

become ever more sour, increasingly violent.  For a brief spell, after

Ellen gave him his much-wanted child, even though it was a hideously

deformed baby, Conrad had begun to feel better about himself.  But when

Ellen killed the child, Conrad sank even deeper into despair and

self-hatred, and it wasn't likely that anyone would ever be able to

draw him out of the psychological pit into which he had cast himself.

After struggling for two years to make their marriage work, after

living in fear of Conrad's rage all that time, Zena had finally faced

the fact that divorce was inevitable.  She left him, but they didn't

cease to be friendly.

They shared certain bonds that couldn't be broken, but it was clear to

both of them that they couldn't live together happily.  She rode the

carousel backwards.

Now, as Zena watched Conrad venting his rage on the table, she realized

that most, if not all, of her love for him had been transformed into

pity.  She felt no passion any more--just an abiding sorrow for him.

Conrad cursed, sputtered through bloodless lips, snarled, pounded the

table.

The raven flapped its shiny, black wings and cried shrilly in its

cage.

Zena waited patiently.

In time Conrad grew tired and stopped thumping the table.  He leaned

back in his chair, blinking dully, as if he were not quite sure where

he was.

After he was silent for a minute, the raven became silent, too, and

Zena said, "Conrad, you aren't going to find Ellen's child.  Why don't

you just give up?"

"Never," he said, slightly hoarse.

"For ten years you had a bunch of private detectives on it.  One after

the other.  Several at the same time.  You spent a small fortune on

them.  And they didn't find anything.  Not a clue."  "They were all

incompetent," he said sullenly.

"For years you've been looking on your own without any luck."  "I'll

find what I'm after."

"You were wrong again tonight.  Did you really think you'd stumble

across her kids here?  At the Coal County, Pennsylvania, Spring Fair?

Not a very likely place, if you ask me."

"As likely as any other."  "Maybe Ellen didn't even live long enough to

start a family with another man.

Have you thought of that?  Maybe she's long dead."  "She's alive."

"You can't be sure."

Y'm positive."  "Even if she's alive, she might not have children."

"She does.  They're out there--somewhere."  "Damn it, you have no

reason to be so sure of that!"  "I've been sent signs.  Portents."

Zena looked into his cold, crystalline blue eyes, and she shivered.

Signs?

Portents?  Was Conrad still only half-mad--or had he gone all the way

over the edge?

The raven tapped its beak against the metal bars of its cage.

Zena said, "If by some miracle you do find one of Ellen's kids, what

then?"  "I've told you before."  "Tell me again," she said, watching

him closely.

"I want to tell her kids what she did," Conrad said.  "I want them to

know she's a baby killer.  I want to turn them against her.  I want to

use all of my power as a pitchman to convince them that their mother is

a vicious, despicable human being, the worst kind of criminal.  A baby

killer.  I'll make them hate her as much as I hate her.  In effect,

I'll be taking her kids away from her, though not as brutally as she

took my little boy."

As always, when he talked about exposing Ellen's past to her family,

Conrad spoke with conviction.

As always, it sounded like a hollow fantasy.

And as always, Zena felt that he was lying.  She was sure that he had

something else in mind, an act of revenge even more brutal than what

Ellen had done to that strange, disturbing, mutated baby twenty-five

years ago.

If Conrad intended to kill Ellen's children when (and if) he found

them, Zena wanted no part of that.  She didn't want to be an accomplice

to murder.

Yet she continued to assist him in his search.  She helped him only

because she didn't believe he would ever find what he was looking

for.

Helping him seemed harmless, she was merely humoring him.  That was

all.  Nothing more than humoring him.  His quest was hopeless.  He

would never find Ellen's kids, even if they did exist.

Conrad looked away from her, turned his gaze on the raven.

The bird fixed him with one of its oily black eyes, and as their gazes

locked, the raven froze.

Outside, on the midway, there was calliope music.  The hundred thousand

sounds of the closing-night crowd blended into a rhythmic susurration

like the breathing of an enormous beast.

In the distance the giant, mechanical funhouse clown laughed and

laughed.

WHEN AMY STEPPED into the house at a quarter till twelve, she heard

muffled voices in the kitchen.  She thought her father was still awake,

though he usually went to bed early Saturday night in order to get up

in time for the first Mass on Sunday, thus freeing the rest of the day

for his hobby--building miniature sets for model train layouts.  When

Amy got to the kitchen, she found only her mother.  The voices were on

the radio, it was tuned to a telephone talk show on a Chicago station,

and the volume was turned low.

The room smelled vaguely of garlic, onions, and tomato paste.

There wasn't much light.  A bulb burned above the sink, and the hood

light was on over the stove.  The radio dial cast a soft green glow.

Ellen Harper was sitting at the kitchen table.  Actually, she was

slumped over it, arms folded on the tabletop, head resting on her arms,

her face turned away from the doorway where Amy stopped.  A tall glass,

half-full of yellow liquid, was within Ellen's reach.  Amy didn't have

to sample the drink to know what it was, her mother always drank the

same thing--vodka and orange juice-and too much of it.

She's asleep, Amy thought, relieved.

She turned away from her mother, intending to sneak out of the room and

upstairs to bed, but Ellen said, "You."

Amy sighed and looked back at her.

Ellen's eyes were blurry, bloodshot, the lids drooped.  She blinked in

surprise.  "What're you doing home?"  she asked groggily.  "You're more

than an hour early."  "Jerry got sick," Amy lied.  "He had to go home."

aBut you're more than an hour early," her mother said again, looking

up at her in puzzlement, still blinking stupidly, struggling to

penetrate the alcohol haze that softened the outlines of her

thoughts.

"Jerry got sick, Mama.  Something he ate at the prom."  "It was a

dance, wasn't it?"

"Sure.  But they had food.  Hors d'oeuvres, cookies, cakes, punch, all

kinds of stuff.  Something he ate didn't agree with him."  "Who?"

"Jerry," Amy said patiently.

Her mother frowned.  "You're sure that's all that happened?"  "What do

you mean?"

"Seems .  . . funny to me," Ellen said thickly, reaching for her

unfinished drink.  "Suspicious."  "What could possibly be suspicious

about Jerry getting sick?"  Amy asked.

Ellen sipped the vodka and orange juice.  She studied Amy over the rim

of the glass, and her stare was sharper than it had been a minute

ago.

Exasperated, Amy spoke before her mother had a chance to make any

accusations.

"Mama, I didn't come home late.  I came home early.  I don't think I

deserve to be subjected to the usual third degree."  "Don't you get

smart with me," her mother said.

Amy looked down at the floor, shifted nervously from one foot to the

other.

"Don't you remember what Our Lord said?"  Ellen asked.  a Honor thy

father and thy mother."  That's what He said.  After all these years of

church services and Bible readings, hasn't anything sunk into your

head?"

Amy didn't respond.  From experience she knew that respectful silence

was the best way to deal with her mother at times like this.

Ellen finished her drink and got up.  Her chair barked against the tile

floor as she scooted it backwards.  She came around the table, weaving

slightly, and stopped in front of Amy.  Her breath was sour.  "I've

tried hard, so very hard, to make a good girl out of you.  I've made

you go to church.  I've forced you to read the Bible and pray every

day.  I've preached at you until I'm blue in the face.  I've taught you

all the right ways.  I've done my best to keep you from going wrong.

I've always been aware that you could go either way.  Either way.  Good

or bad."  She swayed, put a hand on Amy's shoulder to steady herself.

"I've seen the potential in you, girl.  I've seen that you have the

potential for evil.  I pray my heart out to Our Lady every day to look

over you and guard you.

There's a darkness deep inside you, and it must never be allowed to

come to the surface."

Ellen leaned very close, put a hand under Amy's chin, lifted the girl's

head, and met her eyes.

Amy felt as if ice-cold snakes were uncoiling inside her.

Ellen stared at her with a peculiar, drunken intensity, with the

burning gaze of a fever victim.  She seemed to be looking into her

daughter's soul, and there was a mixture of fear and anger and

hard-edged determination in her expression.

aYes," Ellen said, whispering now.  "There's a darkness in you.

You could slip so easily.  It's in you.  The weakness.  The

difference.

Something bad is in you, and you have to fight it every minute.  You

have to be careful, always careful."  "Please, Mama.  . .

"Did you let that boy touch you tonight?"  "No, Mama."

"Unless you're married, it's a dirty, filthy thing.  If you slip, the

Devil will have you.  The thing inside you will come to the surface for

everyone to see.  And no one must ever see it.  No one must know what

you've got inside you.

You've got to wrestle with that evil, keep it caged."  "Yes, Mama."

aLettin the boy touch you--that's an awful "Don't lie to me."  aWe went

to the prom," Amy said shakily, "and he got sick, and he brought me

home.  That's all, Mama."  "Did he touch your breasts?"  "No," Amy

said, unsettled, embarrassed.

"Did you let him put his hands on your legs?"  Amy shook her head.

Ellen's hand tightened on the girl's shoulder, the talonlike fingers

digging painfully deep.  "You touched him."  she said, her words

slurring just a bit and the flesh of her face sagged on her bones.

When she was sober she was a pretty woman, but when she was drunk she

looked haggard, much older than she looked otherwise.  She let go of

Amy, turned away, tottered back to the table.

She picked up her empty glass, carried it to the refrigerator, dropped

a couple of ice cubes into it.  She added a little orange juice and a

lot of vodka.

"Mama, can I go to bed now?"  "Don't forget to say your prayers."

Y won't forget."

"Say the rosary, too.  It wouldn't hurt you."  aYes, Mama."

Her long dress rustling noisily, Amy hurried upstairs.  In her bedroom

she switched on a lamp and stood by the bed, shuddering.

If she failed to raise the abortion money, if she had to tell her

mother, she couldn't expect her father to intercede.  Not this time.

He would be angry and would agree to any punishment her mother

proposed.

Paul Harper was a moderately successful attorney, a man who was in

control in the legal arena, but at home he relinquished nearly all

authority to his wife.

Ellen made the domestic decisions, large and small, and for the most

part, Paul was happy to be relieved of the responsibility.  If Ellen

insisted Amy carry the baby to term, Paul Harper would support that

decision.

And Mama will insist on it, Amy thought miserably.

She looked at the Catholic icons her mother had placed around the

room.

A crucifix hung at the head of the bed, and a smaller one hung above

the door.  A statuette of the Virgin Mary was on the nightstand.  Two

more painted religious statuettes stood on the dresser.  There was also

a painting of Jesus, He was pointing to his Sacred Heart, which was

exposed and bleeding.

In her mind Amy heard her mother's voice: Don't forget to say your

prayers.

"Fuck it," Amy said aloud, defiantly.

What could she ask God to do for her?  Give her money for an

abortion?

There wasn't much chance of that prayer being answered.

She stripped off her clothes.  For a couple of minutes she stood in

front of a full-length mirror, studying her nude body.  She couldn't

see any sure signs of pregnancy.  Her belly was flat.

Gradually the medical nature of her self-inspection changed to a more

intimate, stimulating appraisal.  She drew her hands slowly up her

body, cupped her full breasts, teased her nipples.

She glanced at the religious statuettes on the dresser.

Her nipples were erect.

She slid her hands down her sides, reached behind, squeezed her firm

buttocks.

She looked at the painting of Jesus.

Somehow, by flaunting her body at the image of Christ, she felt she was

hurting her mother, deeply wounding her.  Amy didn't understand why she

felt that way.  It didn't make sense.  The painting was only a

painting, Jesus wasn't really here, in the room, watching her.  Yet she

continued to pose lasciviously in front of the mirror, caressing

herself, touching herself obscenely.

After a minute or two she caught sight of her own eyes in the mirror,

and that brief glimpse into her own soul startled and disconcerted

her.

She quickly put on her flannel nightgown.

What's wrong with me?  she wondered.  Am I really bad inside, like Mama

says?  Am I evil?

Confused, she finally knelt at the side of her bed and said her prayers

after all.

A quarter of an hour later, when she pulled back the covers, there was

a tarantula on her pillow.  She gasped, jumped--and then realized that

the hideous thing was only a painted-rubber novelty item.  She sighed

wearily, put the phony spider in the drawer of her nightstand, and got

into bed.

Her ten-year-old brother, Joey, never missed a chance to play a

practical joke on her.  Ordinarily, when she encountered one of his

tricks, she went looking for him, pretending to be furious, threatening

him with grave bodily harm.  Of course she wasn't capable of hurting

the boy.  She loved him very much.  But her mock anger was the part of

the game that Joey enjoyed most.

Usually, in retaliation for his pranks, Amy did nothing more than hold

him down and tickle him until he promised to be good.

Right now he was in bed, probably awake in spite of the late hour,

waiting for her to storm into his room.  But tonight she would have to

disappoint him.  She wasn't in the mood for their usual routine, and

she didn't have the energy for it, either.

She got into bed and switched off the light.

She couldn't sleep.

She thought about Jerry Galloway.  She had told him the truth when she

had ridiculed his skills as a lover.  She had seldom had an orgasm.  He

was a clumsy, ignorant, thoughtless bedmate.  Yet she had let him touch

her night after night.  She got little or no pleasure out of the

affair, but she allowed him to use her as he wished.  Why?  Why?

She wasn't a bad girl.  She wasn't wild or loose, not deep down in her

heart.

Even while she let Jerry use her, she hated herself for being so

easy.

Whenever she made out with a boy in a parked car, she felt awkward,

embarrassed, out of place, as if she were trying to be someone else and

not herself.

She wasn't a lazy girl, either.  She had ambition.  She planned to go

to Royal City Junior College, then to Ohio State, majoring in art.  She

would get a job as a commercial artist, and she would labor at fine

arts in her spare time, nights and weekends, and if she found that she

had enough talent to make a good living as a painter, she would quit

the nine-to-five job and create wonderfully beautiful pictures for sale

in galleries.  She was determined to build a successful, interesting

life.

But now she was pregnant.  Her dreams were ashes.

Maybe she didn't deserve happiness.  Maybe she was bad, just deep-down

rotten.

Did a good girl spread her legs in the backseat of a boy's car nearly

every night of the week?  Did a good girl get knocked up while she was

still in high school?

The dark minutes of the night unwound like black thread from a spinning

spool, and Amy's thoughts unwound, too--tangled and confusing

thoughts.

She couldn't make up her mind about herself, she couldn't decide

whether she was basically a good person or a bad one.

In her mind Amy could hear her mother's voice again: There's a darkness

in you.  Something bad is in you, and you have to fight it every

minute.

Suddenly, Amy wondered if her sluttish behavior was just an attempt to

spite her mother.  That was an unsettling thought.

Speaking softly to the blackness around her, she said, "Did I let Jerry

knock me up just because I knew the news would shatter Mama?  Am I

destroying my own future just to hurt that bitch?"

She was the only one who knew the answer to her own question, she would

have to look for it within herself.

She lay very still beneath the covers, thinking.

Outside, the wind stirred the nearby maple trees.

In the distance a train whistle sounded.

The door scraped open, and floorboards creaked beneath the carpet as

someone walked into the room.

The noise woke Joey Harper.  He opened his eyes and looked at the alarm

clock, which was visible in the pale glow of the night-light.  12:36.

He had been asleep an hour and a half, but he wasn't groggy.  He was

instantly awake and alert, for he was anticipating Amy's reaction to

the tarantula in her bed.  He had set his alarm for one o'clock because

that was when she was supposed to come home, apparently she had

returned early.

Footsteps.  Soft.  Sneaky.  Coming closer.

Joey tensed under the sheets, but he continued to feign sleep.

The footsteps stopped at the side of his bed.

Joey felt a giggle building in him.  He bit his tongue and struggled to

hold back his laughter.

He sensed her leaning toward him.  She was inches away.

He was going to wait a few seconds longer, and then, when she was on

the verge of tickling him, he was going to yell in her face and scare

the dickens out of her.

He kept his eyes closed, breathed shallowly and evenly, and counted off

the seconds: One .  . . two .  . . three .  . .

He was just about to shout in her face when he realized that the person

bending over him wasn't Amy.  He smelled sour, alcohol-tainted breath,

and his heart began to pound.

Unaware that Joey was awake, his mother said, "Sweet, sweet, little

Joey.

ittle baby-boy angel.  Sweet, precious little angel face."  Her voice

was eerie.  She spoke in an odd, half-whispered, halfcrooned, throaty,

silky stream of slurred words.

He wished desperately that she would go away.

She was very drunk, worse than usual.  She had come into his room

several other nights when she'd been in this condition.  She had talked

to him, thinking he was asleep.  Maybe she came in a lot more nights

than he knew, maybe some nights he was asleep.  Anyway, he knew what

was coming.  He knew what she was going to say and do, and he dreaded

it.

"Little angel.  You look like a little snoozing angel, a baby angel,

lying there so innocent, so tender, sweet."  She leaned even closer,

bathing his face with her pungent breath.  "But what're you like

inside, little angel?  Are you sweet and good and pure all the way

through?"

Stop it, stop it, stop it!  Joey thought.  Please, don't do this again,

Mama.  Go away.  Get out of here.  Please.

But he didn't speak to her, and he didn't move.  He didn't let her know

he was awake because when she was like this he was afraid of her.

"You look so pure," she said, her alcoholthickened voice growing even

softer, even more blurry.  aBut maybe that angel face is just the

surface .  . . the mask.  Maybe you're just putting on an act for me.

Huh?  Are you?

Maybe...

underneath .  . . maybe you're just like the other one.  Are you,

little angel?

Under that sweet face, are you like the other one, the monster, the

thing he called Victor?"

Joey never had been able to figure out what she was talking about when

she sneaked in here at night and mumbled drunkenly at him.  Who was

Victor?

"If I produced one like you, why not another?"  she asked herself

aloud, and Joey thought she sounded a little bit afraid now.  "This

time...

maybe it's a monster inside.  In the mind.  A monster inside .  . .

hiding in a normal body .

. . behind such a nice face .  . . waiting.  Waiting to come out when

no one's looking.  Just waiting patiently.  Both you and Amy.  Huh?

Wolves in sheep's clothing.  Could be.  Sure.  Could be that way.  What

if it is?  Huh?

When will it happen?  When will the thing come out of you for everyone

to see?

Can I turn my back on you, little angel?  Can I ever be safe?  Oh,

God.

Oh, Jesus, Jesus, help me.  Mary, help me.  I should never have had

children.  Not after the first one.

I can never be sure of what I've created.  Never.  What if .  . ."

Increasingly numbed by the liquor she had drunk, her tongue and lips

became less and less able to form the words she wanted to say, and she

lowered her voice so far that Joey could barely hear her, even though

she was less than a foot from him.  "What if .  . . someday .  . . what

if I have to kill you, little angel?"  Softer, softer, word by terrible

word, softer.  "What if .

. . I have .

. . to kill .  . . you .  . . like I had to kill .  . . the other one

.

. . ?"

She began to weep quietly.

Joey was suddenly chilled to the bone, and he was worried that his

shivering would disturb the sheets and draw her attention.  He was

afraid she would discover that he had heard every word.

Eventually her stifled weeping subsided.

Joey was sure she could hear his pounding heart.

He felt strange.  He was afraid of her, but he was also sorry for

her.

He wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be all right--but he

didn't dare.

Finally, after what seemed like hours but was surely only a minute or

two, she left the bedroom, gently pulling the door shut after her.

Under the covers Joey curled into a tight, fetal ball.

What did it all mean?  What had she been talking about?  Was she just

drunk?  Or was she crazy?

Although he was scared, he was also a little bit ashamed of himself for

thinking such things about his own mother.

Nevertheless, he was glad he had the wan, milky glow of the weak

night-light.

He sure didn't want to be alone in the dark right now.

In the nightmare Amy had given birth to a bizarrely deformed baby--a

disgusting, vicious thing that looked more like a crab than like a

human being.  She was in a small, poorly lighted room with it, and it

was coming after her, snapping at her with its bony pincers and

arachnoid mandibles.  The walls held narrow windows, and each time she

passed one of them she saw her mother and Jerry Galloway on the far

side of the glass, they were looking in at her and laughing.  Then the

baby scuttled along the floor, closed in fast, and seized her ankle in

one of its spiny pincers.

She woke up, sat up in bed, a scream caught in the back of her

throat.

She choked it down.

Just a dream, she told herself.  Just a bad dream courtesy of Jerry

Galloway.

Damn him!

In the gloom to her right, something moved.

She snapped on the bedside lamp.

Curtains.  Her window was open a couple of inches to provide

ventilation, and a mild breeze stirred the curtains.

Outside, a block or two away, a dog howled mournfully.

Amy looked at the clock.  Three in the morning.

She sat there for a while, until she had calmed down, but when she

switched off the light she couldn't get back to sleep.  The darkness

was oppressive and threatening in a way it hadn't been since she was a

small child.

She had the curious, disturbing feeling that, outside, in the night,

something terrible was bearing down on the Harper house.  Like a

tornado.

But not a tornado.  Something else.  Something weird, worse than a mere

storm.  She had a premonition-- not quite the right word, but the only

word that came close to describing what she was feeling--an icy

premonition that some relentlessly destructive force was closing in on

her and the entire family.

She tried to imagine what it could be, but no explanation occurred to

her.  The impression of danger remained formless, nameless, but

powerful.

The sensation was, in fact, so electrifying, so unshakable, that she

finally had to get up and go to the window, even though she felt

foolish for doing so.

Maple Lane was dozing peacefully, wrapped in unthreatening shadows.

And beyond their street, the suburban south side of Royal City rose on

a series of gentle, low hills, at this hour there was only a sprinkling

of lights.

Farther south, at the edge of the town and above it, lay the county

fairgrounds.  The fairgrounds were dark now, deserted, but in July,

when the carnival arrived, Amy would be able to stand at her window and

see the blaze of colored lights, the far-off, magical blur of the

steadily turning Ferris wheel.

The night was filled only with the familiar.  There was nothing new in

it, nothing dangerous.

The feeling that she was standing in the path of a fiercely

destructive, oncoming storm faded, and exhaustion replaced it.  She

returned to bed.

Only one threat loomed over the Harper household, and that was her

pregnancy, the inescapable consequences of her sin.

Amy put her hands on her belly, and she thought about what her mother

would say, and she wondered if she would always be as alone and

helpless as she was now, and she wondered what was coming.

AT THE REFRESHMENT stand near the carousel, there were five people in

line ahead of Chrissy Lampton and Bob Drew.

"I hate to waste time waiting like this," Chrissy said, abut I really

want that candy apple."

"It won't take long," Bob said.

"There's so much more I want to do."

"Relax.  It's only eleven-thirty.  The carnival won't shut down until

at least one o'clock."

"But it's the last night," Chrissy said.  She took a deep breath,

savoring the blend of aromas that permeated the night: popcorn, cotton

candy, garlic-flavored french fries, hot roasted peanuts, and more.

"Ahhhh!  My mouth is watering.  I've been stuffing myself all night,

and I'm still famished.  I can't believe I've eaten so much!"

"It's partly the excitement," Bob said.  "Excitement burns up

calories.

And all those thrill rides.  You were scared half to death on most of

those rides, and fear burns up calories even faster than strenuous

exercise."  He was seriously trying to analyze her unusual appetite.

Bob was an accountant.

"Listen," Chrissy said, "why don't you wait in line and get the candy

apples while I find the ladies' room.  I'll meet you over there by the

merry-go-round in a few minutes.  That way we'll kill two birds at the

same time."  with one stone," Bob said.

"Huh?"

"The expression is, We'll kill two birds with one stone."

" "Oh.  Sure."  aBut I don't think it applies here exactly," Bob

said.

"Not quite.

Anyway, you go ahead to the ladies'.  We'll meet at the carousel like

you said."

Sheesh!  Chrissy thought.  Are all accountants like this?

She walked away from the refreshment stand, through the damp wood

shavings that covered the ground, through the calliope-blast from the

merry-go-round, past a high-striker where a muscular young man slammed

a sledgehammer into a scale and rang a bell overhead to impress his

date, past a dozen pitchmen who were spieling a mile a minute, trying

to get people to play all sorts of games where you could win a teddy

bear or a kewpie doll or some other piece of junk.

A hundred attractions played a hundred different songs, but somehow the

various strains of music didn't sound the least bit discordant when

they .  came together, everything fused into a single, strange, but

appealing melody.

The carnival was a river of noise, and Chrissy waded through it,

grinning happily.

Chrissy Lampton loved the Coal County Spring Fair.  It was always one

of the high spots of the year.  The fair, Christmas, New Year's Eve,

Thanksgiving, the Halloween dance at the Elks' Club, the Las Vegas

Nights at St. Thomas's Church (one in April, one in August)--those

were the only days of excitement in the entire year, the only events

worth looking forward to in all of Coal County.

She remembered part of a funny and rather dirty little song that had

made the rounds when she'd been in high school: Eueryone who lives here

has the zits, Good old Coal County sure is the pits.

Anybody with a brain has got to split Cause this is where God squats

when he gets the shits.

In high school she used to laugh at that song.  But now, at the

still-tender age of twenty-one, grimly aware of how limited her future

was in this place, she didn't find those lyrics very humorous.

Someday she would move to New York or Los Angeles, to a place with

opportunities.  She intended to split as soon as she had six months'

worth of living expenses in her savings account.  She already had

enough for five months.

Soaking up the color and glamour of the carnival as she walked, Chrissy

headed toward the amusements that stood at the fringe of the midway,

behind which she expected to find a comfort station within a couple of

hundred feet.  The public restrooms were in cinder-block buildings

scattered around the perimeter of the fairgrounds.

AB she made her way through the crowd, a pitchman at a duck-shoot game

gave her a loud wolf-whistle.

She grinned and waved in reply.

She felt terrific.  Even though she was temporarily stuck in Coal

County, she had a wonderful, sparkling future.  She knew she was

good-looking.

She had a lot of smarts, too.  With those qualities she could carve out

a niche for herself in the big city in record time, easily within six

months.

Currently she was a typist, but that was strictly short-term.

Another pitchman, this one working a wheel of fortune, heard the first

barker's whistle, and he whistled at her, too.  Then a third carny

joined the fun, whistled, called to her teasingly.

She felt as if she would live forever.

Ahead of her the big clown's face atop the funhouse laughed shrilly.

The funhouse, which stood next to Freak-o-rama, was at the eastern edge

of the midway, and Chrissy figured there would be a comfort station

somewhere behind it.  She turned in beside the big, rambling structure,

with the freak show on her right, and she walked through the narrow

alley between the two attractions, away from the crowds and the lights

and the music.

The air was no longer redolent with cooking food.  It smelled of wet

wood shavings, grease, and gasoline from the large, thrumming

generators.

Inside the funhouse, chains clanked, banshees howled, ghosts laughed

spookily, ghouls cackled, the wheels of the cars clattered incessantly

along the winding track, and haunting music swelled and faded, swelled

and faded.  A girl screamed.  Then another.  Then three or four at

once.

They're acting like little kids, Chrissy thought scornfully.

They're so pathetically eager to be thrilled, so willing to accept the

shabby illusions in there, anything to be briefly transported from the

drab reality of life in Coal County, Pennsylvania.

An hour or two ago, when she had ridden through the funhouse with Bob

Drew, she had screamed, too.  Now, remembering her own hysteria, she

was a little bit ashamed of herself.

AB she stepped over cables and ropes, cautiously picking her way toward

the rear of the funhouse, she realized that, a few years from now,

after she had had a chance to experience classier thrills, after she

had grown accustomed to more sophisticated excitements, she would find

the carnival tawdry and juvenile instead of exotic and glamorous.

She was almost at the end of the long, narrow passageway.  It was

darker here than she had expected.

She stumbled over a fat electric cable.  - "Damn!"

She regained her balance, squinted at the ground ahead.

There was just enough light to create impenetrable, purple-black

shadows on all sides.

She thought of turning back, but she really had to pee, and she was

sure there was a bathroom nearby.

At last she reached the end of the alley and turned the corner into the

darkness behind the funhouse, looking for one of the brightly lighted

comfort stations.

She almost walked into the man.

He was standing against the rear wall of the funhouse, in an

exceedingly deep pool of velvety shadows.

Chrissy yelped in surprise.

She couldn't see his face, but she could see that he was big.

Very big.  Huge.

An instant after she registered his presence, even as she gasped in

shock, even as she saw how large he was, she realized that he was

waiting for her.

She started to scream.

He struck her on the side of the head with such brutal force that it

was a miracle her neck didn't snap.

The scream died in her throat.  She dropped to her knees, then toppled

onto her side in the dirt, stunned, numbed, unable to move, struggling

desperately to remain conscious.  Her mind was a dully glinting blade

skating on a crescent of silvery ice, with mile-deep, black water on

both sides.

She was vaguely aware of being lifted and carried.

She coultln't rcict him- chf h:l no strenœth A door creaked noisily.

She forced her eyes open and saw that she was being carried out of the

dark night, into an even darker place.

Her heart was beating so hard that it seemed to hammer the air out of

her lungs each time she tried to draw a breath.

He dropped her rudely onto a hard, wooden floor.

Get up!  Run!  she told herself.

She couldn't move.  She seemed paralyzed.

Hinges squealed as he pushed the door shut again.

This can't be happening!  she thought.

A sliding bolt rasped into place, and the man grunted with what she

took to be satisfaction.  She was locked in with him.

Dizzy, confused, weak as a baby, but no longer in danger of losing

consciousness, she tried to figure out where she was.  The room was

perfectly black, as utterly lightless as the inside of the Devil's

pocket.

The wooden floor was crude, and it was filled with vibrations, the

muffled sound of machinery.

Someone screamed.  Then someone else.  The air was split by a maniacal

laugh.

Music swelled.  The vibrations in the floor resolved into the

clacketyclackety-clack of steel wheels on a metal track.

She was in the funhouse.  Probably in the service area.  Behind the

tracks on which the cars moved.

A trickle of strength seeped into Chrissy's body again, but she was

barely able to lift one hand to her bruised temple.  She expected to

find her skin and hair wet and sticky with blood, but they were dry.

The flesh was tender but apparently unbroken.

The stranger knelt on the floor beside her.

She could hear him, sense him, but not see him, however, even in this

pitch-black hole, she was aware of his great size, he loomed.

He's going to rape me, she thought.  God, no.  Please.  Oh, please

don't let him do it.

This stranger was breathing curiously.  Sniffing.  Snuffling.  Like an

animal.

Like a dog trying to get her scent.

"No," she said.

He grunted again.

Bob will come looking for me, she told herself hopefully,

frantically.

Bob will come, he's got to come, he's got to come and save me, good old

Bob, please, God, please.

She was succumbing to a rapidly burgeoning panic as her head cleared

and as the terrible danger became more and more evident to her.

The stranger touched her hip.

She tried to pull back.

He held her.

She was gasping, shaking.  The temporary paralysis faded, the numbness

in her limbs vanished.  Abruptly she was awash in pain from the blow to

the head that she had suffered a few minutes ago.

The stranger moved his hand up her belly to her breasts and ripped open

her blouse.

She cried out.

He slapped her, jarring her teeth.

She realized that it was useless to call for help in a funhouse.

Even if people heard her above all the music, above the recorded

howling and wailing of the ghosts and monsters, they would think she

was just another thrill-seeker startled by a pop-up pirate or a

jack-in-the-box vampire.

The man tore off her bra.

She was no match for him physically, but enough of her strength had

returned for her to offer some resistance, and she couldn't just lie

there, waiting for him to take her.  She reached for his hands, grabbed

them, intending to push them away, but with a shock she discovered that

they were not ordinary hands.

They weren't a man's hands.  Not exactly.  They were .  . .

different.

Oh, God.

She became aware of two green ovals in the blackness.  Two softly

shining, green spots.  Floating above her.

Eyes.

She was looking into the stranger's eyes.

What sort of man has eyes that shine in the dark?

Bob Drew stood at the carousel with one candy apple in each hand,

waiting for Chrissy.  After five minutes he started to eat his own

apple.

After ten minutes he grew impatient and began to pace.  After fifteen

minutes he was angry with Chrissy, she was a gorgeous girl, fun to be

with, but she was sometimes flighty and frequently inconsiderate.

After twenty minutes his anger began to give way to mild concern, then

he began to worry.  Maybe she was sick.  She had eaten an incredible

amount and variety of junk.  It would be amazing if she didn't upchuck

sooner or later.

Besides, you never knew for sure how clean and wholesome carnival food

was.

Maybe she had gotten a bad hot dog or had unwittingly eaten some piece

of filth along with her chiliburger.

Considering that possibility, he began to feel queasy himself.  He

stared at his half-eaten candy apple and finally dropped it into a

trash barrel.

He wanted to find her and satisfy himself that she was all right, but

he didn't think she would be too happy to see him while her breath

still stank of vomit.  If she had just been sick in the ladies' room,

she would want time to freshen up, patch her makeup, and put herself

back together.

After twenty-five minutes he threw Chrissy's candy apple in the trash

with his own.

After half an hour, bored by the endlessly galloping horses and by the

rhythmically flashing brass poles, increasingly concerned about

Chrissy, he went searching for her.  Earlier, he had watched her walk

away from the refreshment stand, admiring her round bottom and her

shapely calves, and then she had vanished in the crowd.  A minute or

two later, he thought he had seen her golden head as she left the

midway near the funhouse, and now he decided to look in that area

first.

Between the funhouse and the freak show, a five-foot-wide path led back

to an open space behind the amusements, the outer ring of the

fairgrounds, where the restrooms were located.  Toward the end of the

passageway, the shadows were so dark and thick that they seemed

tangible, like black drapes, and the night was surprisingly lonely

here, considering that the busy midway was only fifty or sixty feet

behind him.

Peering uneasily into the shadows, Bob wondered if Chrissy had

encountered more-serious trouble than just an upset stomach.  She was a

very pretty girl, and these days, when so many people seemed to have

lost all respect for the law, there were more than a few men prowling

around who thought nothing of taking what they wanted from a pretty

girl, regardless of whether or not she wanted them to have it.  Bob

supposed that there were even more men of that stripe in the carnival

than there were in the real world.

With growing trepidation he reached the end of the path and stepped

into the open area behind the funhouse.  He looked right, then left,

and saw the comfort station.  It was sixty yards away, rectangular,

gray, made of cement blocks, perched in the center of a tightly

circumscribed pool of bright yellowish light.  He couldn't see the

entire structure, only a third of it, because there was a row of ten or

twelve big carnival trucks parked in the intervening hundred and eighty

feet.  Here the darkness was even deeper, the trucks were only hulking

outlines, and they made him think of slumbering, primeval beasts.

He took only two steps toward the distant comfort station before

putting his foot down on something that nearly sent him sprawling.

When he regained his balance, he reached down and picked up the

treacherous object.

It was Chrissy's red clutch purse.

Bob Drew's heart began to sink into a bottomless well.

At the far end of the funhouse, at the front of it, out on the midway,

the giant clown's face sprayed the night with a brittle, shrapnel

laugh.

Bob's mouth was dry.  He swallowed hard, tried to squeeze out some

saliva.

"Chrissy?"

She didn't answer.

"Chrissy, for God's sake, are you there?"

A door squealed on unoiled hinges.  Behind him.

The music and screaming inside the funhouse got louder as the door

opened.

Bob turned toward the noise, feeling something he had not felt in many

years, not since he had been a small boy alone in his dark bedroom with

the terrifying conviction that some hideous creature was hiding in the

closet.

He saw a forest of shadows, all but one of them perfectly still, but

that one was moving fast.  It came straight at him.  He was seized by

powerful, shadow hands.

"No."

Bob was thrown against the rear of the funhouse with such incredible

force that the wind was knocked out of him, and his head snapped back,

and his skull cracked hard into the wooden wall.  Trying to placate his

burning lungs, he sucked desperately on the night air, it was cold

against his teeth.

The shadow swooped down on him again.

It didn't move like a man.

Bob saw green, glowing eyes.

He brought up one arm to protect his face, but his assailant struck

lower than that, Bob took a sledgehammer punch in the stomach.  At

least, for one hopelessly optimistic moment, he thought he had been

punched.  But the shadow-thing hadn't struck him with its fist.

Nothing as clean as that.  It had slashed him.  He was badly cut.  A

wet, sickening, sliding, dissolving sensation filled him.  Stunned, he

reached down, put one trembling hand on his belly, and gagged with

revulsion and horror when he felt the size of the wound.

My God, I've been disemboweled!

The shadow stepped back, crouching, watching, snorting and sniffing

like a dog, although it was much too big to be a dog.

Gibbering hysterically, Bob Drew tried to hold his bulging intestines

inside his body.  If they slipped out of him, there was no chance that

he could be sewn up and restored to health.

The shadow-thing hissed at him.

Bob was too deep in shock to feel more than the thinnest edge of the

pain, but a red veil descended over his vision.  His legs turned to

water and then began to evaporate from under him.  He leaned against

the wall of the funhouse, aware that he had little chance of survival

even if he stayed on his feet, but also aware that he had no chance at

all if he fell.  His only hope was to hold himself together.  Get to a

doctor.  Maybe they could sew him up.

Maybe they could put everything back in place and prevent

peritonitis.

It was a long shot.  Very long.  But maybe .  . . if he just didn't

fall .  . . He couldn't allow himself to fall.  He must not fall.  He

wouldn't fall.

He fell.

The carnies called it "slough night" and looked forward to it with true

Gypsy spirit.  The last night of the engagement.  The night they tore

down.  The night they packed up and got ready to move on to the next

stand.  The carnival shed itself of the town in much the same way that

a snake sloughed off its dead, dirty, unwanted skin.

To Conrad Straker, slough night was always the best night of the week,

for he continued to hope, against all reason, that the next stop would

be the one at which he would find Ellen and her children.

By one-thirty in the morning, the last of the marks was gone from the

Coal County, Pennsylvania, fairgrounds.  Even before then, some pieces

of the show began to come down, although most of the job still lay

ahead.

Conrad, who owned two small concessions in addition to the enormous

funhouse, had already overseen the breaking down of those

enterprises.

One was a pitch-and-dunk, which he had shuttered and folded around one

o'clock.  The other was a grab joint, so named because it was a

fastfood place with no chairs for the marks to sit down, they had to

grab their food and eat on the fly.  He had closed the grab joint

earlier, around midnight.

Now, in the cool, mid-May night, he worked on the funhouse with

Gunther, Ghost, his other fulltime employees, a couple of local

laborers looking to make forty bucks each, and a pair of free-lance

roughies who traveled with the show.  They broke the joint apart and

loaded it into two large trucks that would carry it to the next

stand.

Because Conrad's funhouse could legitimately boast of being the largest

in the world, because it offered the marks solid thrills for their

money, and because the ride was long and dark enough to allow teenage

boys to cop a few feels from their dates, it was a popular and

profitable concession.  He had spent many years and a lot of money

adding to the attraction, letting it grow organically into the finest

amusement of its kind on earth.  He was proud of his creation.

Nevertheless, each time the funhouse had to be erected or torn down,

Conrad hated the thing with a passion that most men couldn't generate

for any inanimate object except, perhaps, a larcenous vending machine

or a bullheaded billing computer.  Although the funhouse was cleverly

designed--a genuine marvel of prefabricated construction and easy

collapsibility--putting it up and then sloughing it seemed equal, at

least in

Conrad's mind, to the most spectacular and arduous feats of the ancient

Egyptian pyramid builders.

For more than four hours, Conrad and his twelve-man crew swarmed over

the structure, illuminated by the big, generator-powered midway

lights.

They lowered and dismantled the giant clown's face, took down strings

of colored lights, rolled up a couple thousand feet of heavy-duty

extension cords.  They pulled off the canvas roof and folded it.

Grunting, sweating, they disconnected and stacked the gondola tracks.

They removed the mechanical ghouls, ghosts, and ax murderers that had

terrorized thousands of marks, and they wrapped the animated figures in

blankets and other padding.

They unbolted wooden wall panels, disassembled beams and braces, took

up slabs of plank flooring, skinned their knuckles, knocked down the

ticket booth, guzzled soda, and packed generators and transformers and

a mess of machinery into the waiting trucks, which were checked

periodically by Max Freed or one of his assistants.

Max, superintendent of transportation for Big American Midway

Shows--BAM to its employees and fellow travelers--supervised the

tearing down and loading of the huge midway.  Next to the famous E.

James Strates organization, BAM was the largest carnival in the

world.

It was no ragbag, gilly, or lousy little forty-miler, it was a

first-rate show.  BAM traveled in forty-four railroad cars and more

than sixty enormous trucks.  Although some of the equipment belonged to

the independent concessionaires, not to BAM, every truckload had to

pass Max Freed's inspection, for the carnival company would bear the

brunt of any bad publicity if one of the vehicles proved to be less

than roadworthy and was the cause of an accident.

While Conrad and his men dismantled the funhouse, a couple of hundred

other carnies were also at work on the midway--roughies,

concessionaires, animal trainers, jointees, wheelmen, pitchmen, jam

auctioneers, short-order cooks, strippers, midgets, dwarves, even the

elephants.  Except for the men, now sleeping soundly, who would drive

the trucks off the lot a few hours from now, no one could call it a

night until his part of the show was bundled and strapped down and

ready to hit the road.

The Ferris wheel came down.  Partially dismantled, it looked like a

pair of gigantic, jagged jaws biting at the sky.

Other rides were quickly and efficiently torn apart.  The Sky Diver.

The Tip Top.  The Tilt-aWhirl.  The carousel.  Magical machineries of

fun, all locked away in ordinary-looking, dusty, greasy vans.

One minute the tents rippled like sheets of dark rain.  The next minute

they lay in still, black puddles.

The grotesque images on the freak show banners--all painted by the

renowned carnival artist David "Snap" Wyatt--fluttered and billowed

between their moorings.  Some of the large canvases portrayed the

twisted, mutant faces of a few of the human oddities who made their

living in Freak-o-rama, and these appeared to leer and wink and snarl

and sneer at the carnies who labored below, a trick of the wind as it

played with the canvas.  Then the ropes were loosened, the pulley

wheels squeaked, and the banners slid down their mooring poles to the

pitchman's platform, where they were rolled up and put away-nightmares

in large cardboard tubes.

At five-thirty in the morning, exhausted, Conrad surveyed the site

where the funhouse had stood, and he decided he could finally go to

bed.

Everything had been broken down.  A small pile of gear remained to be

loaded, but that would take only half an hour and could be left to

Ghost, Gunther, and one or two of the others.  Conrad paid the local

laborers and the free-lance roughies.  He instructed Ghost to supervise

the completion of the job and to obtain final approval from Max Freed,

he told Gunther to do exactly what Ghost wanted him to do.  He paid an

advance against salary to the two fresh-eyed roughies who, having just

gotten up from a good sleep, were prepared to drive the trucks to

Clearfield, Pennsylvania, which was the next stand, Conrad would follow

later in the day in his thirty-four-foot Travelmaster.  At last, aching

in every muscle, he trudged back to his motor home-- which was parked

among more than two hundred similar vehicles, trailers, and mobile

homes--in the back lot, at the west end of the fairgrounds.

The nearer he drew to the Travelmaster, the slower he moved.  He

dawdled.  He took time to appreciate the night.  It was quiet,

serene.

The breezes had blown away to another part of the .  county, and the

air was preternaturally still.

I Dawn was near, although no light yet touched the eastern horizon.

Earlier, there had been a moon, it had set behind the mountains not

long ago.  Now there were only scudding, slightly phosphorescent

clouds, silver-black against the darker, blue-black sky.  He stood at

the door of his motor home and took several deep breaths of the crisp,

refreshing air, not eager to go inside, afraid of what he might find in

there.

At last he could delay no longer.  He steeled himself for the worst,

opened the door, climbed into the Travelmaster, and switched on the

lights.

There wasn't anyone in the cockpit.  The kitchen was deserted, and so

was the forward sleeping area.

Conrad walked to the rear of the main compartment and paused,

trembling, then hesitantly slid open the door to the master bedroom.

He snapped on the light.

The bed was still neatly made, precisely as he'd left it yesterday

morning.

There wasn't a dead woman sprawled on the mattress, which was what he

had expected to find.

He sighed with relief.

A week had passed since he had found the last woman.  He would shortly

find another.  He was certain of that, grimly certain.  The urge to

rape and kill and mutilate came at weekly intervals now, far more

frequently than had once been the case.  But apparently it had not

happened tonight.  Feeling marginally better, he went into the small

bathroom to take a quick, hot shower before going to bed--and the sink

in there was streaked with blood.  The towels were darkly stained,

sodden, lying in a pile on the floor.

It had happened.

In the soap dish, a cake of Ivory sat in a slimy puddle, it was

red-brown with blood.

For nearly a minute Conrad stood just inside the doorway, staring

apprehensively at the shower stall.  The curtain was drawn.  He knew he

had to whisk it aside and see if anything waited behind it, but he

dreaded making that move.

He closed his eyes and leaned against the doorjamb, weary, pausing

until he could regain sufficient strength to do what must be done.

Twice before, he had found something waiting for him in the shower

stall.

Something that had been ripped and crushed, broken and chewed on.

Something that had once been a living human being but wasn't anymore.

He heard the shower curtain rattling back on its metal rod:

snickety-snickety-snick.

His eyes snapped open.

The curtain was still closed, hanging limply, unstirred.  He had only

imagined the sound.

He let out his breath in a whoosh!

Get on with it, he told himself angrily.

He licked his lips nervously, pushed away from the jamb, and went to

the shower stall.  He gripped the curtain with one hand and quickly

jerked it aside.

The stall was empty.

At least this time the body had been disposed of.  That was something

to be thankful for.  Handling the disgusting remains was a chore that

Conrad hated.

0f course he would have to learn what had been done with the latest

corpse.  If it hadn't been taken far enough away from the fairgrounds

to deflect police suspicion from the carnival, he would have to go out

soon and move it.

He turned away from the shower stall and began to clean up the bloody

bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later, badly in need of a drink, he fetched a glass, a

tray of ice cubes, and a bottle of Johnny Walker from the kitchen.  He

carried those items into the master bedroom compartment, sat on the

bed, and poured two or three ounces of Scotch for himself.  He sat

back, propped up by three pillows, and sipped the whiskey, trying to

attain a state of calm that would at least permit him to hold his glass

without constantly rattling the ice in it.

A mimeographed copy of Big American Midway's season schedule was on the

nightstand.  It was tattered from much handling.  Conrad picked it

up.

From early November until the middle of April, BAM, like other

carnivals, shuttered for the offseason.  Most of the carnies, people

from every roadshow there was, wintered in Gibsonton, Florida--known as

"Gibtown" to show-folk-where they had created a year-round community of

their own kind, a carny Shangri-La, a retreat, a place where the

bearded lady and the man with three eyes could get together for a drink

at the neighborhood bar without anyone staring at them.  But from April

through October, Big American traveled incessantly, settling into a new

town every week, pulling up its fragile roots six days later.

As he sipped his Scotch, Conrad Straker read through the Big American

schedule, letting his eyes linger on each line of it, savoring the

names of the towns, trying to get a psychic fix on one of them, trying

to figure out in which burg he would (at long last) come across Ellen's

children.

He hoped she had at least one daughter.  He had plans for her son if

she had a son, but he had special plans for her daughter.

Gradually, after he poured a few more ounces, he felt the Scotch having

its desired effect.  But as always, the names of the towns on the

season schedule settled his nerves more effectively than whiskey ever

could.

At last he put the list aside and looked up at the crucifix that was

fastened to the wall above the foot of the bed.  It was hanging upside

down.  And Christ's suffering face had been carefully painted black.

A votive candle in a clear glass container stood on the nightstand.

Conrad kept it lighted around the clock.  The candle was black, the

burning wax produced a strange, dark flame.

Conrad Straker was a devout man.  Without fail he said his prayers

every night.

But he didn't pray to Jesus.

He had converted to a satanic religion twenty-two years ago, not long

after Zena had divorced him.  He contemplated death with great

pleasure, eagerly anticipating the descent into Hell.  He knew that was

his destiny.

Hell.  His rightful home.  He was not afraid of it.  He would be at

peace there.  Satan's favored acolyte.  He belonged in Hell.  It was

his rightful home.

After all, since that tragic, fiery Christmas Eve when he was twelve

years old, he had lived in one sort of hell or another, day and night,

night and day, without relief.

The outside door opened at the front end of the Travelmaster, and the

trailer rocked as it took in its other lodger, and the door closed with

a bang.

Y'm back here!"  Conrad called, not bothering to get up from the bed.

There was no answer, but he knew who was there.

"You left the bathroom a mess when you cleaned up," Conrad shouted.

Heavy footsteps headed toward him.

The following Sunday, a man named David Clippert and a dog named Moose

were hiking in the spring-fresh Coal County hills, two miles from the

fairgrounds.

Shortly before four o'clock, as they were crossing a grassy hill,

Moose, gamboling ahead of his master, came across something in a small

patch of brush that he found unusually interesting.  He raced around in

a circle, staying in the grass, not entering the brush, but fascinated

by whatever he had spotted in there.  He barked several times, stopped

to sniffsomething, then dashed in a circle again and loudly announced

his discovery.

From twenty yards behind the dog, David couldn't see what all the fuss

was about.  He had a pretty good idea, though.  Most likely it was a

flurry of butterflies flitting back and forth through the weeds.  Or

perhaps a tiny lizard that had frozen on a leaf but had failed to evade

Moose's sharp eyes.

At most it was a field mouse.  Moose wouldn't stay close to anything

larger than that.  He was a big, silken-coated Irish setter, strong and

friendly and good of heart, but he was a coward.  If he had come upon a

snake, a fox, or even a rabbit, he would have vamoosed with his tail

between his legs.

AB David drew nearer the waist-high brush-- mostly milkweed and

brambles-Moose slunk off, whining softly.

"What is it, boy?"

The dog took up a position fifteen feet away from his find, looked

beseechingly at his master, and whimpered.

Strange behavior, David thought, frowning.

It wasn't like Moose to be frightened off by a butterfly or a lizard.

Once the big mutt zeroed in on prey like that, he was a formidable

adversary, absolutely ferocious, indomitable.

A few seconds later, when David reached the brush and saw what had

drawn the dog's attention, he stopped as if he had walked into a brick

wall.

"Oh, Jesus."

A great river of arctic air must have changed course in the sky, for

the warm May afternoon was suddenly cold, blood-freezing cold.

. Two dead bodies, a man and a woman, were sprawled in the brush,

supported in a partially upright position by the interweaving

blackberry vines.  Both corpses were facing up, arms spread wide,

almost as if they had been crucified on those thorny branches.  The man

had been disemboweled.

David shuddered, but he didn't turn away from that gruesome sight.  In

the late 1960s he had served two tours of duty as a battlefield medic

in Vietnam before he was wounded and sent home: he had seen gut wounds

of all kinds, bellies ripped open by bullets, by bayonets, and by the

shrapnel from antipersonnel mines.  He was not queamish.

But when he took a closer look at the woman, when he saw what had been

done to her, he cried out involuntarily, quickly turned away from her,

stumbled a few steps into the grass, dropped to his knees, and was

violently, wrackingly sick.

n q :' THE DIvE WAS the teenage hangout in Royal City.  It was on Main

Street, four blocks from the high school.  There wasn't anything

special about it, so far as Amy could see.  A soda fountain.  A

shortorder grill.  Ten tables with oilcloth draped over them.  Eight

shiny, red leatherette booths.  Half a dozen pinball machines in an

alcove in the back.  A jukebox.  That was it.

Nothing fancy.  Amy figured there had to be a million places just like

it spread all over the country.  She knew of four others right here in

little old Royal City.  But for some mysterious reason, perhaps herd

instinct, perhaps because the name of the establishment sounded like

the kind of sleazy dump their parents would disapprove of, Royal City's

teenagers congregated at The Dive in greater numbers than they did

anywhere else in town.

Amy had been a waitress at The Dive for the past two summers, and she

was going to work there full-time again starting the first of June,

until the junior college opened in September.  She also pulled a few

hours of hash-slinging during the school year, around the holidays and

on most weekends.  She took a small allowance out of her earnings,

hardly enough for pocket money, and the rest went into her savings

account for college.

On Sunday, the day following the senior prom, Amy worked from noon

until six.

The Dive was exceptionally busy.  By four o'clock she was worn out.  By

five o'clock she was amazed that she could still stand.  As the

shift-change neared, she caught herself glancing at the clock every few

minutes, willing the hands to move faster, faster.

She wondered if her uncharacteristic lack of energy could be explained

by her pregnancy.  Probably.  Some of her strength was being diverted

to the baby.  Even this early on, it was bound to have its effect on

her.  Wasn't it?

Dwelling on her pregnancy depressed her.  Depressed, she found the time

crawling by even slower than before.

A few minutes before six, Liz Duncan came into The Dive.  She looked

smashing.

She was wearing skin-tight French jeans and a mauve and blue sweater

that appeared as if it had been knitted on her.  She was a pretty

blonde with an extremely cute figure.  Amy saw boys looking up from all

over the room as Liz walked through the door.

Liz was alone, currently between boyfriends.

She was always between boyfriends but never for long, she went through

guys the way Amy went through a box of Kleenex.  Yesterday evening Liz

had gone to the prom with a one-night stand.  It seemed to Amy that

every relationship Liz had with a boy was a one-night stand, even if it

went on for as long as a month or two, Liz never desired anything

lasting.  Unlike other high school girls, she was repelled by the

thought of exchanging rings and going steady with just one guy.  She

liked variety, and she seemed to thrive on impermanence.  She was the

Bad Girl of the senior class, and some of her exploits were legendary

among her peers.  She didn't give a damn what anyone thought of her.

Amy was drawing two frosted mugs of root beer from the soda fountain

when Liz breezed up to the counter and said, Hey, kid, how's it going?"

"I'm frazzled," Amy said.

"You get off soon?"

"Five minutes."

"Doing anything after?"

"No.  I'm glad you came in.  I have to talk to you."

"Sounds mysterious."

"It's important," Amy said.

"Think the house will treat us to cherry Cokes?"

"Sure.  There's an empty booth over there.  You stake a claim to it,

and I'll join you as soon as I get off work."

A few minutes later Amy brought the Cokes to the booth and sat down

opposite Liz.

"What's up?"  Liz asked.

Amy stirred her Coke with a straw.  "Well .  . . I need to .  . . "

Yeah?"

I need to .  . . borrow some money."

"Sure.  I can let you have ten anyway.  Will that help?"

Liz, I've got to raise at least three or four hundred bucks.

Probably more."

"You serious?"

"Yes."

Jesus, Amy, you know me.  When it comes to money, my hands have grease

on them.

The stuff just slips away.  My folks give it to me pretty much whenever

I ask, and then, next thing I know--zip!  It's a fuckin' miracle that

I've got ten bucks I can let you have.  But three or four hundred!"

Amy sighed and nodded.  "I was afraid you'd say that."

"Listen, if I had it I'd give it to you."

"I know you would."

Whatever other faults Liz might have--and she had her

share--miserliness was not one of them.

"What about your savings?"  she asked Amy.

Amy shook her head.  "I can't touch my bank account without Mama's

approval.

And I'm hoping she won't find out about this."

"About what?  What do you need big bucks for?"

Amy started to speak, but her voice caught in her throat.  She was

reluctant to reveal her awful secret, even to Liz.  She sipped her

Coke, buying time to reconsider the wisdom of sharing her misery with

her friend.

"Amy?"

The Dive bristled with noise: clicking, beeping, ringing pinball

machines, hard-driving rock and roll on the jukebox, a babble of

voices, bursts of laughter.

"Amy, what's wrong?"

Blushing, Amy said, "I guess I'm being ridiculous, but I .  . .

I'm just .  . .

too embarrassed to tell you."  "That is ridiculous.  You can tell me

anything.  I'm your best friend, aren't I?"  aYes."

That was true, Liz Duncan was her best friend.  In fact Liz was just

about her only friend.  She didn't spend much time with any of the

other girls her age.

She hung out almost exclusively with Liz, and that was odd when you

thought about it.  She and Liz were so different from each other in so

many ways.  Amy studied hard and did well in school, Liz couldn't care

less about her grades.

Amy wanted to go to college, Liz abhorred the idea.  Amy was

introverted, downright shy on occasion, Liz was outgoing, bold, even

brassy at times.  Amy liked books, Liz preferred movies and Hollywood

fan magazines.  In spite of the fact that Amy was in rebellion against

her mother's excessive religious fervor, she still believed in God, but

Liz said that the whole concept of God and life after death was a

crock.  Amy didn't care much for booze or pot and used them only when

she wanted to please Liz, but Liz said that if there was a God--which

she assured Amy there was not--he would be worth worshipping just

because he had created liquor and marijuana.  Even though the two girls

differed in countless ways, their friendship flourished.  The main

reason it flourished was that Amy worked very hard to make a success of

it.

She did pretty much what Liz wanted to do, said what she figured Liz

wanted to hear.

She never criticized Liz, always humored her, always laughed at her

jokes, and nearly always agreed with her opinions.  Amy had put an

enormous amount of time and energy into making the relationship last,

but she had never stopped to ask herself why she cared so much about

being Liz Duncan's best friend.

Last night, in bed, Amy had wondered if she'd subconsciously wanted

Jerry Galloway to knock her up just to spite her mother.  That had been

a startling thought.  Now she wondered if she was maintaining a

friendship with Liz Duncan for the same misguided reason.  Liz had (and

relished) the worst reputation in school, she was foul-mouthed and

irreverent and promiscuous.

Hanging out with her might be, for Amy, just one more act of rebellion

against Mama's traditional values and morals.

As before, Amy was unsettled by the thought that she might be screwing

up her future just to cause her mother pain.  If that was true, then

the resentment and anger she felt toward her mother was much deeper,

much darker than she had realized.  It also meant that she wasn't in

control of her life, it meant she was motivated by a black hatred and a

corrupting bitterness she couldn't control.  She was so unnerved by

those ideas that she refused to consider them, she quickly pushed them

out of her mind.

"So?"  Liz said.  "Are you going to tell me what's happening?"

Amy blinked.  "Uh .  . . well .  . . I broke off with Jerry."

"When?"  "Last night."  "After you left the prom?  Why?"

"He's a stupid, mean son of a bitch."

"He's always been," Liz said.  "But that didn't bother you before.

Why all of a sudden?  And what's this got to do with needing three or

four hundred bucks?"

Amy glanced around, afraid that someone might overhear what she was

about to say.  They were in the last booth, so there was no one behind

her.

On the other side, behind Liz, four football jocks were arm-wrestling

boisterously.  At the nearest table two couples, self-styled

intellectuals, were intently discussing current movies, they called

them "films" and spoke of aauteurs" as if they'd all worked in

Hollywood for years and knew what it was about.  No one was

eavesdropping.

Amy looked at Liz.  "Recently I've been getting sick in the morning."

Liz understood immediately.  "Oh, no.  What about your period?"

"Missed it."  "Holy shit."

"So you see why I need the money."

IaAn abortion," Liz said softly.  "Did you tell Jerry?"  "That's why we

broke up.  He says it isn't his.  He won't help."  "He's a rotten

little shit."

I don't know what I'm going to do."

,: "Damn!"  Liz said.  "I wish you'd gone to the doctor I

recommended.

I wish you'd gotten that - prescription for the pill."

- "I was scared of the pill.  You hear all these stories about cancer

and blood clots .  . ."  "As soon as I turn twenty-one," Liz said, "I'm

going to get the Band-Aid operation.  But the pill's essential in the

meantime.  What's worse--the risk : of blood clot or getting knocked

up?"  "You're right," Amy said miserably.  "I don't know why I didn't

do what you told me to do."

Except maybe I wanted to get pregnant and didn't even know it.

Liz leaned toward her.  "Jesus, kid, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry as hell.

I feel sick.

I really do.  I just feel sick that you're in this bind."  "Imagine how

I feel."  "Jesus, what a bad break."

"I don't know what I'm going to do," Amy said again.

"I'll tell you what you're going to do," Liz said.  "You're going to go

home and tell your old man and your old lady."

"Oh, no.  I couldn't.  It'd be awful."  "Look, I know it won't be

pretty.  There'll be all sorts of screaming and hollering and

namecalling.  They'll dump a hell of a load of guilt on you.  It'll be

an ordeal, for sure.  But they aren't going to beat you up or kill

you."  aMy mother might."  "Don't be silly.  The old bitch will rant

and rave and make you feel miserable for a while.  But let's not lose

track of what's important here.

The important thing is getting your ass into a clinic and getting that

baby scraped out of you as soon as possible."

Amy winced at the other girl's choice of words.

"All you have to do, " Liz said, "is grit your teeth and sit through

all the shouting, and then they pay for the abortion."

"No.  You're forgetting that my family is Catholic.  They think

abortion is a sin."  "They might think it's a sin, but they won't force

a young girl like you to ruin her whole life.  Catholics get abortions

all the time, no matter what they say."  "I'm sure you're right," Amy

said.  "But my mother is too devout.

She won't ever agree to it."

"You really think she'd be willing to live with the shame of an

illegitimate grandchild right there in her own house?"

"To hurt me .  . . and mainly to teach me a lesson .  . . yes."

"You're sure?"  "Positive."

They sat in glum silence for a while.

On the jukebox, Donna Summer was singing about the price she had to pay

for love.

Suddenly Liz snapped her fingers.  "I've got it!"  "What?"

"Even Catholics approve of abortion if the mother's life is in danger,

don't they?"  "Not all Catholics.  Just the most liberal ones approve

of it even under those circumstances."

"And your old lady isn't liberal."  "Hardly."  aBut your father's

better, isn't he?  At least about the religious stuff" "He's not so

fanatical as Mama.  He might agree to let me have an abortion if he

truly thought the baby would destroy my health."  "All right.  So you

make him think it's destroying your mental health.

Dig it?

You get suicidal.  You threaten to kill yourself if you can't have an

abortion.

Act like you're half crazy.  Be hysterical.  Be irrational.  Scream,

cry, then laugh without having any reason to laugh, then cry again,

break things .  . .

If all of that doesn't convince them, then you can make a phony attempt

to slash your wrists, just a big enough cut to smear some blood

around.

They won't be sure whether you botched it on purpose or by accident,

and they won't want to take any chances."

Amy slowly shook her head.  "It wouldn't work."

"Why not?"  "I'm not a good actress."

Y'll bet you'd fool them."

"Carrying on like that, pretending .  . . Well, I'd feel stupid."

"Would you rather feel pregnant?"  "There must be another way."  aLike

what?"

"I don't know."  "Face it, kid.  This is your best shot."  "I don't

know."

Y do know."

Amy sipped her Coke.  After a couple of minutes of thought, she said,

"Maybe you're right.  Maybe I'll try the suicide bit."  "It'll work.

Just as smooth as glass.  You'll see.  When will you tell them?"

"Well, I had been thinking about breaking the news right after

graduation if I couldn't find another way out by then."  "That's two

weeks!  Listen, kid, the sooner the better."

"Two weeks won't hurt anything.  Maybe in that time I'll find some way

to come up with the money myself."  "You won't."  "Maybe."

"You won't," Liz said sharply.  "Anyway, you're only seventeen.

You probably couldn't get an abortion without your parents' consent,

not even if you had the money to pay for it.  I'll bet you have to be

at least eighteen before they let you have one on your own say-so."

Amy hadn't considered that possibility.  She simply didn't think of

herself as a minor, she felt a hundred and ten years old.

"Get your head on straight, kid," Liz said.  "You wouldn't take my

advice about the pill.  Now get your shit together this time, will

you?

Please, please, for Christ's sake, listen to me.  The sooner the

better."

Amy realized that Liz was right.  She leaned back in the booth, away

from the table, and a wave of resignation swept through her.  She

sagged as if she were a marionette whose strings had been cut.

"Okay.

The sooner the better.  I'll tell them tonight or tomorrow."

"Tonight."  "I don't think I have the strength for it tonight.  If I'm

going to put on a big suicide act, I'll need to have my wits about

me.

I'll have to be rested."  "Tomorrow, then," Liz said.  "No later than

tomorrow.  Get it over with.  Listen, we have a great summer coming

up.

If I go west at the end of the year, like I'm hoping to, this'll

probably be the last summer you and I will have together.  So we've got

to do it up right.

We've got to make a lot of memories to last us a long while.  Lots of

sun, some good dope to smoke, a couple of new guys .  . . It'll be a

blast.  Except it won't be so terrific if you're walking around all

bloated and preggy."

For Joey Harper, Sunday turned out to be a fine day.

The morning started with Mass and Sunday school, of course, which was

as boring as usual, but then the day improved rapidly.  When his father

stopped at Royal City News for the Sunday papers, Joey found a batch of

new comic books on the rack and had enough coins in his pockets to buy

the two best issues.

Then his mother made chicken and waffles for lunch, which was one of

his favorite things in the whole wide world.

After lunch his father gave him money to go to the Rialto.  That was a

theater, a revival house that played only old movies.

It was six blocks from their house, and he was allowed to ride his

bicycle that far, but no farther.  The Rialto was showing two monster

flicks for the Sunday matinee--The Thing and It Came from Outer

Space.

Both pictures were super.

Joey liked scary stories.  He wasn't exactly sure why he did.

Sometimes, sitting in a dark theater, watching some slimy thing creep

up on the hero, Joey almost peed in his pants.  But he loved every

minute of it.

After the movies he went home for dinner, and his mother made

cheeseburgers and baked beans, which was even better than chicken and

waffles, better than just about anything he could think of.  He ate

until he thought he'd bust.

Amy came home from The Dive at eight o'clock, an hour and a half before

Joey's bedtime, so that he was still awake when she found the rubber

snake hanging in her closet.  She stormed down the hall, calling his

name, and she chased him around his room until she caught him.  After

she had tickled him and had made him promise never to frighten her that

way again (a promise they both knew he wouldn't keep), he persuaded her

to play a sixty-minute time-limit game of Monopoly, and that was a

whole lot of fun.  He beat her, as usual, for an almost grown-up

person, she sure didn't know much about financial wheeling and

dealing.

He loved Amy more than anybody.  Maybe that was wrong of him.  You were

supposed to love your mother and father most of all.  Well, after

God.

God came first.

Then your mother and father.  But Mama was hard to love.  She was all

the time praying with you or praying for you or giving you a lecture on

the proper way to behave, and she told you over and over again that she

cared that you grew up the right way, but she somehow never showed you

that she cared.  It was all talk.  Daddy was easier to love, but he

wasn't around that much.

He was busy doing law stuff, probably saving innocent men from the

electric chair and things like that, and when he was home he spent a

lot of time alone, working on the miniature layouts he built for model

trains, he didn't like you messing around in his workshop.

Which left Amy.  She was there a lot.  And she was always there when

you needed her.  She was the nicest person Joey knew, the nicest he

ever expected to know, and he was glad that he had her for a sister

instead of that crabby, nasty Veronica Culp, who his best friend, Tommy

Culp, had to share a house with.

Later, after the Monopoly game, when he was in his pajamas, teeth

brushed, and ready for bed, he said his prayers with Amy, which was

much better than saying them with Mama.  Amy said them faster than Mama

did, and she sometimes changed a word here and there to make the

prayers a little bit funny.

Like, instead of saying, "Mary, Mother of God, hear my plea," she might

say, "Mary, Mother of God, hear my flea."  She always made Joey giggle,

but he had to be careful not to laugh too loud because Mama would

wonder what was so funny about prayers, and then everyone would be in

trouble.

Amy tucked him in and kissed him and finally left him alone in the

moonglow of his night-light.  He snuggled down in the covers and fell

asleep almost instantly.

Sunday had been a fine day indeed.

But Monday began badly.

Not long after midnight, in the first few minutes of the new day, Joey

was awakened by the spooky, mush-mouthed sound of his mother's

whispered conversation.  As on other occasions, he kept his eyes closed

and pretended to be sleeping.

"My little angel .  . . maybe not an angel at all .  . . inside .  .

."

She was really sloshed, pickled.  According to Tommy Culp, when

somebody was falling-down drunk, you said they were "pissed."  Mama was

sure pissed tonight.

She rambled on about how she couldn't decide whether he was good or

bad, pure or evil, about how there might be something ugly hidden

inside of him and waiting to break out, about how she didn't want to

bring devils into the world, about how it was God's work to rid the

world of such evil any way you could, and she talked about how she harl

killed somebody named Victor and hoped she would never have to do the

same thing to her precious angel.

Joey started to shiver and was deathly afraid that she would discover

he was awake.  He didn't know what she might do if she knew he had

heard her weird mumblings.

When he felt on the brink of telling her to shut up and go away, Joey

tried desperately to tune her out.  He forced himself to think of

something else.  He concentrated on putting together a detailed mental

picture of the big, vicious alien creature in The Thing, which he had

seen just that afternoon at the Rialto.  The thing in the picture was

like a man, only much bigger.  With gigantic hands that could tear you

to pieces in a minute.  And sunken eyes full of fire.  And yet it was a

plant.  An alien plant that was almost indestructible and lived on

blood.  He could vividly recall the scene in which the scientists were

looking for the alien behind a series of doors, they didn't find it,

and they finally gave up, and then the very next door they opened, when

they weren't expecting anything, the monster jumped out at them,

growling and spitting and eager to eat somebody.  Remembering the

unexpected fury of the monster's attack, Joey felt his blood turn to

ice as it had in the theater.

That scene was so spine-chilling, so tingly-icky-awful that it made his

mother's drunken rambling seem harmless by comparison.  The things that

happen to people in horror movies were so terrible that they made the

scary things in life seem tame.  Suddenly Joey wondered if that was why

he liked those spooky stories so much.

MAMA WAS ALWAYS the first up in the morning.  She went to Mass every

day of the week, even when she was sick, even when she had a really bad

hangover.  During the summer, when school was out, she would expect Amy

and Joey to attend services and take Holy Communion nearly as often as

she did.

On this Monday morning in May, however, Amy still lay in bed, listening

to her mother move through the house and then into the garage, which

was directly under Amy's bedroom.  The Toyota started on the second

try, and the automatic garage door rumbled up, coming to rest with a

solid thud that rattled Amy's windows.

After her mother had gone, Amy got out of bed, showered, dressed for

school, and went downstairs to the kitchen.  Her father and Joey were

finishing a breakfast of toasted English muffins and orange juice.

"You're running late this morning," her father said.  aBetter grab a

bite quick.  We're leaving in five minutes."

It's such a beautiful morning," Amy said.  "I think I'll walk to school

today."  "Are you sure you have enough time?"  "Oh, yes.  Plenty of

time."  "Me too," Joey said.  "I want to walk with Amy."  "The

elementary school is three times as far as the high school," Paul

Harper said.  "Your legs would be worn down to your knees by the time

you got there."  aNah," Joey said.  "I can make it.  I'm rough and

ready."  "One mean hombre," his father agreed.  aBut just the same,

you'll ride with me."  "Aw, shoot!"  Joey said.

"Bang," Amy said, pointing a finger at him.

Joey grinned.

"Come on, hombre," his father said.  "Let's get moving."

Amy stood at one of the living room windows, watching the man and the

boy drive away in the family's Pontiac.

She had lied to her father.  She wasn't going to walk to school.

In fact she didn't even intend to go to school at all today.

She returned to the kitchen, made a pot of coffee, poured a steaming

mug of it for herself.  Then she sat down at the kitchen table to wait

for her mother to get back from Mass.

Last night, tossing restlessly in bed, plotting how best to make her

confession, she had decided that she should tell her mother first.  If

Amy sat them down and told them both at the same time, Mama's reaction

to the news would be calculated to impress not only her daughter but

her husband, she would be even tougher on Amy than she might be if Amy

told her in private.  And Amy also knew that if she told her father

first, it would look as if she were sneaking around behind her mother's

back, trying to drive a wedge between her parents, trying to make an

ally of her father.  If Mama thought that was the case, she would be

twice as difficult as she otherwise might have been.  By telling Mama

first, by according her at least that much special respect, Amy hoped

to improve her chances of getting the abortion she wanted.

She finished the mug of coffee.  She poured herself another, finished

that one, too.

The ticking of the kitchen clock seemed to grow louder and louder,

until it was a drumbeat to which her nerves jumped in sympathy.

When Mama finally came home from Mass, entering the kitchen through the

connecting door to the garage, Amy had never been more tense.  The back

and underarms of her blouse were damp with perspiration.  In spite of

the hot coffee, there seemed to be a lump of ice in her stomach.

"Morning, Mama."

Her mother stopped in surprise, still holding the door open, the

shadowy interior of the garage I visible behind her.  "What are you

doing here?"  "I want to--" "You should be in school."

I stayed home so I could--" Ysn't this final exam week?"  "No.  That's

next week.  This week we just review material for the tests."  "That's

important, too."

- aYes, but I don't think I'll be going to school today."

As Mama closed and locked the door of the garage, she said, "What's

wrong?  Are you sick?"  "Not exactly.  I--" "What do you mean--not

exactly?"  she asked, putting her purse on the counter by the sink.

"You're either sick or you're not.  And if you aren't, you should be in

school."  "I have to talk to you," Amy said.

Her mother came to the table and stared down at her.  "Talk?  About

what?"

Amy couldn't meet the woman's eyes.  She looked away, turned her gaze

to the muddy residue of cold coffee in the bottom of her mug.

"Well?"  Mama asked.

Although Amy had drunk a lot of coffee, her mouth was so dry that her

tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth.  She swallowed, licked her

parched lips, cleared her throat, and at last said, "I have to withdraw

some money from my savings account."  "What are you talking about?"  "I

need .  . . four hundred dollars."  "That's ridiculous."  "No.  I

really need it, Mama."

"For what?"

"I'd rather not say."

Her mother was astonished.  "You'd rather not say?"  "That's right."

The astonishment turned to consternation.  "You want to withdraw four

hundred dollars that's meant for your college tuition, and you don't

want to say what you're going to do with it?"

"Mama, please.  After all, I earned it."

The consternation turned to anger.  "Now you listen to me and listen

good, young lady.  Your father does well enough at his law practice,

but he doesn't do all that well.  He's not F. Lee Bailey.  You want to

go to college, and college is expensive these days.  You're going to

have to help pay for it.  In fact you're going to have to pay for most

of it.  We'll let you live here, of course, and we'll pay for your

food, your clothes, your medical bills, while you're going to the

junior college, but you'll have to meet the tuition out of your

savings.  When you go away to the university in a couple of years,

we'll send you some money for living expenses, but you'll have to pay

for that tuition, too.  We just can't do more than that.  We'll be

sacrificing as it is."

If you didn't spend so much money trying to impress Father O'Hara with

your devotion to St. Mary's Church, if you and Daddy didn't contribute

a tithe and a half to show what good people you are, maybe you'd be

able to do more for your own children, Amy thought.  Charity starts at

home, Mama.

Isn't that what the Bible tells us?  Besides, if you hadn't made me

tithe to St. Mary's, I'd have that extra four hundred bucks now that I

need it.

Amy wished she could say all of that, but she didn't dare.  She didn't

want to completely alienate her mother before she even had a chance to

mention the pregnancy.  Anyway, no matter how she tried to express what

she was thinking, no matter what words she chose, she would sound petty

and selfish.

But she wasn't selfish, damn it.

She knew it was a good thing to give money to the Church, but there had

to be limits.  And you had to give for the right reasons.  Otherwise it

didn't mean anything.  Sometimes Amy suspected that her mother hoped to

buy a place in Heaven, and that was definitely the wrong reason to give

to the Church.

Amy forced herself to look up at her mother and smile.  "Mama, I've

already got that small scholarship for next year.  If I work real hard

I'll probably get scholarships every year, even if they're all just

small ones.  And I'll be working at The Dive summers and weekends.

With what I'll be earning, plus what I've got in the bank already, I'll

have more than enough to pay for my own way.  By the time I get to Ohio

State, I won't need to ask you and Daddy for help, not even for living

expenses.  I can spare that four hundred dollars right now, Mama.  I

can spare it easy."  "No," Mama said.  "And don't think you can sneak

behind my back and get the money on your own hook.  My name's on that

account along with yours.  You're still a minor, don't forget.  As long

as I can, I'm going to protect you from yourself.  I'm not letting you

throw your college money away on trendy new clothes you don't need or

on some other silly bauble you've just seen in a store window."

"It isn't new clothes I want, Mama."  "Whatever.  I won't let you--"

"It's not a silly bauble I want, either."

"I don't care what sort of foolishness--" "An abortion," Amy said.

Her mother gaped at her.  "What?"

Touched off by a fuse of fear, the words exploded from Amy: "I've had

some morning sickness, I missed my period, I'm really pregnant, I know

I am, Jerry Galloway got me pregnant, I didn't mean for it to happen,

I'm so sorry it happened, so very sorry, I hate myself, I really do, I

really hate myself, but I have to get an abortion, I've just got to

have one, please, please, I've just got to."

Mama's face suddenly turned white, chalkwhite.  Even her lips were

pale.

"Mama?  Do you understand that I can't possibly have this baby?  I just

can't go ahead and have it, Mama."

Mama closed her eyes.  She swayed, and for a moment she looked as if

she would faint.

"I know what I did was wrong, Mama," Amy said, beginning to cry.

"I feel dirty.  I don't know if I'll ever feel clean again.  I hate

myself.

And I know that an abortion is even a worse sin than what I did.  I

know that, and I'm afraid for my soul.  But I'm even more afraid of

going ahead and having the baby.  I've got my life to live, Mama.

Yvegot mylife!"

Mama's eyes opened.  She stared down at Amy, and she tried to speak,

but she was too shocked to be able to get any words out.  Her mouth

moved without producing a sound.

"Mama?"

With such speed that Amy hardly saw it coming, her mother raised a hand

and slapped her face.  Once.  Twice.  Hard.

Amy cried out in pain and surprise, and she raised one arm to protect

herself.

Mama grabbed her by the blouse and dragged her to her feet in a

disconcerting display of strength.

The chair fell over with a crash.

Her mother shook her as if she were a bundle of rags.

Crying, frightened, Amy said, "Mama, please don't hurt me.

Forgive me, Mama.

Please."  "You filthy, rotten, ungrateful little bitch!"

"Mama--" "You're stupid, stupid, so damned stupid!"  her mother

screamed, spraying her with spittle as hot and stinging as venom.

"You're an ignorant child, just a stupid little slut!  You don't know

what could happen.  You don't have the slightest idea.  You're

ignorant.  You don't know what you might give birth to.

You don't know!"

Amy was unwilling and unable to defend herself.  Mama pushed her,

pulled her, jerked her from side to side, this way and that, shook her,

shook her, shook her ferociously, until her teeth rattled and her

blouse tore.

"You don't know what sort of thing might come out of you," Mama

screeched maniacally.  "God knows what it might be!"

What is she talking about?  Amy wondered desperately.  She sounds as if

she's heard Jerry's curse and believes it'll come true.  What's going

on here?  What's wrong with her?

Second by second her mother was becoming increasingly violent.

Amy hadn't really believed that Mama would kill her.  That's what she

had told Liz, but she had been exaggerating.  At least she had thought

she was exaggerating.  But now, as her mother continued to curse her

and shake her, Amy began to worry that Mama would seriously hurt her,

and she tried to squirm away.

Mama refused to let go.

The two women tottered sideways and bumped solidly against the table.

The nearly empty mug fell over, spun around twice, dropped off the

table, scattering droplets of cold coffee, and smashed into a dozen

pieces when it hit the floor.

Mama stopped shaking Amy, but her eyes were still demented and wildly

lighted.

"Pray," she said urgently.  "We've got to pray that there's no baby

inside you.

We've got to pray that it's a mistake, that you're wrong."

She pulled Amy down roughly onto the floor, onto her knees, and they

knelt side by side on the cool tiles, and Mama began to pray loudly,

and she held Amy by one arm, held her so tightly that Mama's fingers

seemed to pierce Amy's flesh and touch the bare bone, and Amy wept and

pleaded to be released, and Mama slapped her again and told her to

pray, demanded that she pray, and Mama asked the Holy Virgin to be

merciful, but Mama wasn't merciful when she saw that Amy's head wasn't

bowed far enough, for she grabbed her daughter by the back of the neck

and forced her face toward the floor, forced it down and down until

Amy's forehead was touching the tiles, until her nose was pressed into

a wet splotch of spilled coffee, and Amy kept saying, "Mama, please,"

over and over again, "Mama, please," but Mama wasn't listening to her,

because Mama was busy praying to everyone, to Mary and Jesus and Joseph

and God the Father and God the Holy Spirit, and she prayed to various

saints as well, and when Amy gasped for breath a couple of drops of

coffee slipped up her nose from the small puddle into which she was

pressed, and she spluttered and gagged, but Mama held her down, held

her even harder than before, squeezing the back of her neck, and Mama

wailed and whined and shouted and beat the floor with her free hand and

thrashed about and shuddered with religious passion, begged and

wheedled and whimpered for mercy, mercy for herself and for her wayward

daughter, howled and wept and pleaded in a fashion which Catholics

usually disdained, in a devout frenzy that was more suited to the

fundamental Christianity for the Church of the Nazarene, flailed and

babbled fervently, until she was finally all prayed out, hoarse,

exhausted, limp.

The ensuing silence was more dramatic than a thunderclap would have

been.

Mama let go of Amy's neck.

At first Amy remained as her mother had left her, face against the

floor, but after a few seconds she lifted her head and rocked back on

her knees.

Mama's hand had cramped from maintaining such an iron grip on Amy's

neck.  She stared down at the clawlike fingers, massaging them with her

good hand.  She was breathing hard.

Amy raised her hands to her face, wiped away the coffee and the

tears.

She couldn't stop shaking.

Outside, clouds passed over the sun, and the morning light streaming

through the kitchen windows rippled like bright water, then grew

dimmer.

The clock ticked hollowly.

To Amy, the silence was frightening, like the endless instant between a

skipped heartbeat and the next sound of your pulse, when you could not

help but wonder if perhaps that vital muscle in your chest would never

again expand or contract.

When Mama spoke at last, Amy jerked involuntarily.

"Get up," Mama said coldly.  aGo upstairs and wash your face.  Comb

your hair."  aYes, Mama."

They both stood.

Amy's legs were weak.  Her skirt was rumpled, she pressed it down with

her quivering hands, smoothed the wrinkled material.

"Change into fresh clothes," Mama said, her voice flat and

emotionless.

aYes, Mama."

"I'll call Dr. Spangler and see if he has an opening in his

appointment book this morning.  We'll go in right away if he can take

us."  "Dr.  Spangler?"  Amy asked, confused.

"You'll have to take a pregnancy test, of course.  There are other

reasons why you might have missed your period.  We can't really be sure

until we get test results."  "I know I am, Mama," Amy said shakily,

softly.  "I know I'm going to have a baby."  "If the test is positive,"

her mother said, "then we'll make arrangements to take care of things

as soon as possible."

Amy couldn't believe the implications of that statement.  She said,

"Take care of things?"

"You'll get the abortion you want," Mama said, glaring at her with eyes

that contained no forgiveness.

"You don't really mean it." aYes.  You must have an abortion.  It's the

only way."

Amy almost cried out with relief.  But at the same time she was afraid,

for she figured that her mother would extract a terrible price for this

amazing concession.

aBut .  . . abortion .  . . isn't it a sin?"  Amy asked, struggling to

comprehend her mother's reasoning.

aWe can't tell your father," Mama said.  "It's got to be kept a secret

from him.  He wouldn't approve."

"But .  . . I didn't think you would approve either," Amy said,

bewildered.

"I don't approve," Mama said sharply, a trace of emotion returning to

her voice.  "Abortion is murder.  It's a mortal sin.  I don't approve

at all.  But as long as you've got to live in this house, I won't have

such a thing as this hanging over my head.  I simply won't have it.  I

won't live in fear of what might come.  I won't go through that terror

again."  "Mama, I don't understand.  You talk as if you know for a fact

that the baby will be deformed or something."

They stared at each other for a moment, and Amy saw more than anger and

reproach in her mother's dark eyes.  There was fear in those eyes, too,

a stark and powerful fear that transmitted itself to Amy, chilling

her.

"Someday," Mama said, "when the time was right, I was going to tell

you."  "Tell me what?"  "Someday, when you were ready to be married,

when you were properly engaged, I was going to tell you why you must

never have a child.  But you couldn't wait for the proper time, could

you?  Oh, no.  Not you.

You had to give yourself away.  You had to pull up your skirts the

first chance you got.

Still little more than a child yourself, and you had to throw yourself

at some high school boy.  You had to rush out and fornicate in the

backseat of a car like a worthless little slut, like the worst kind of

pig.  And now maybe it's inside of you, growing."  "What are you

talking about?"  Amy asked, wondering if her mother was completely

mad.

"It wouldn't do any good for me to tell you," Mama said.  "You wouldn't

listen.

You'd probably even welcome such a child.  You'd embrace it just like

he did.

I've always said there was something evil in you.  I've always told you

that you had to keep it in check.  But now you've loosened the reins,

and that dark thing is running free, that evil part of you.  You've

loosed the evil in you, and sooner or later, one way or the other,

you'll have a child, you'll bring one of them into the world, no matter

what I say to you, no matter how I plead with you.  But you won't do it

in this house.  It won't happen here.  I'll see to that.  We'll go to

Dr. Spangler, and he'll abort it for you.  And if there's any sin in

that, if there's mortal sin for someone to bear the burden of, it will

rest entirely on your shoulders, not mine.  You understand?"

Amy nodded.

"It won't matter to you, will it?"  her mother asked meanly.  "One more

sin won't matter to you, will it?  Because you're already destined for

Hell anyway, aren't you?"  "No.  No, Mama, don't--" "Yes, you are.

You're destined to be one of the Devil's own women, one of his

handmaidens, aren't you?  I see that now.  I see it.  All my efforts

have been in vain.  You can't be saved.

So what's one more sin to you?  Nothing.

It's nothing to you.  You'll just laugh it off."  "Mama, don't talk to

me like that."  "I'm talking to you like you deserve to be talked to.

A girl who behaves the way you've behavedhow can she expect to be

talked to any differently?"  "Please .  . ."  "Get a move on," Mama

said.  "Clean yourself up.  I'll call the doctor."

Confused by the several twists that events had taken, baffled by her

mother's certainty that the baby would be deformed, wondering about

Mama's sanity, Amy went upstairs.  In the bathroom she washed her

face.

Her eyes were bloodshot from crying.

In her bedroom she took another skirt and a clean blouse from the

closet.  She stripped off her sweat-streaked, wrinkled clothes.  For a

moment she stood in bra and panties before the full-length mirror,

staring at her belly.

Why is Mama so certain that my baby will be deformed?  Amy asked

herself worriedly.  How can she know such a thing for sure?  Is it

because she thinks I'm evil and that I deserve this sort of thing--a

deformed baby, a sign to the world that I'm the Devil's handmaiden?

That's sick.  That's twisted thinking.

It's ridiculous and crazy and unfair.  I'm not a bad person.  I've made

some mistakes.  I'll admit that.  I've made a lot of mistakes for

someone my age, but I'm not evil, damn it.  I'm not evil.

Am I?

She stared into the reflection of her own eyes.

Am I?

Shivering, she dressed for the visit to the doctor's office.

ON SUNDAY THE carnival moved to Clearfield, Pennsylvania, by highway

and rail, and on Monday the sprawling midway was erected again with

military efficiency.

Big American Midway Shows gave its own people and its concessionaires a

four o'clock show call for Monday afternoon, which meant that every

attraction-from the least imposing grab joint to the most elaborate

thrill ride--was expected to be operational by that hour.

Conrad Straker's three enterprises, including the funhouse, were in

place and ready to receive the marks by three o'clock Monday

afternoon.

It was a cloudless, warm day.  The evening would be balmy.  "Money

weather," the carnies called it.  Although Fridays and Saturdays were

always the best for business, the marks would flood in on a mild,

breezy night even if it was at the beginning of the week.

With an hour of free time before the fairground gates were opened to

the public, Conrad did what he always did on the first afternoon of a

new engagement.  He left the funhouse and walked next door to Yang

Barnet's ten-in-one Freak-o-rama, a name which some carnies found

offensive, but which drew the marks with greater efficacy than honey

ever drew flies.

A luridly illustrated banner stretched across the front of Yang's tent:

HUMAN ODDITIES OF THE WORLD.

Yang had as much respect for show calls as Conrad did, and except for

the fact that the human oddities would not arrive from their trailers

until four o'clock, the joint was ready for business well ahead of

schedule.

That was especially commendable when you knew that Yang Barnet and a

few of his freaks always played poker Sunday night, into the wee hours

of Monday morning, accompanying the game with a considerable amount of

ice-cold beer and Seagram's, which were combined into murderously

potent boilermakers.

Yang's place was a large tent, divided into four long rooms, with a

roped-off walkway that serpentined through all four chambers.  In each

room there were either two or three stalls, and in each stall there was

a platform, and on each platform there was a chair.  Behind each chair,

running the length of the stall, a big sign, colorfully illustrated,

explained about the wondrous and incredible thing at which the mark was

gawking.  With one exception, those wondrous and incredible things were

all living, breathing, human freaks, normal F minds and spirits trapped

in twisted bodies: the world's fattest woman, the three-eyed alligator

,r man, the man with three arms and three legs, the bearded lady, and

(as the barker said twenty or thirty times every hour) more, much more

than , the human mind could encompass.

- Only one of the oddities was not a living person.

- It was to be found in the center of the tent, half ' 0?"  way along

the snaking path, in the narrowest of all the stalls.  The thing was in

a very large, specially blown, clear glass jar, suspended in a

formaldehyde solution, the jar stood on the platform, without benefit

of a chair, dramatically lighted from above and behind.

It was to this exhibit that Conrad Straker came .  that Monday

afternoon in Clearfield.  He stood at e restraining rope where he had

stood hundreds of times before, and he stared regretfully at his

long-dead son.

As in the other stalls, there was a sign behind the exhibit.  The

letters were big, easy to read.

VICTOR "THE UCLY ANGEL" THIS CHILD, NAMED VICTOR BY HIS FATHER, WAS

BORN IN 1955, OF NORMAL PARENTS.

VICTOR S MENTAL CAPACnY WAS NORMAL.  HE HAD A SWEET, CHARMING

DlSPOSmON.  HE WAS A LAUGHING BABY, AN ANGEL.

ON THE NIGHT OF AUGUST 15, 1955, VICTOR S MOTHER, ELLEN, MURDERED

HIM.

SHE WAS REPELLED BY THE CHILD'S PHYSICAL DEFORMITIES AND WAS CONVINCED

HE WAS AN EVIL MONSTER.  SHE WAS NOT ABLE TO SEE THE SPIRITUAL Bravery

within HIM.

WHO WAS REALLY THE EVIL ONE?  THE HELPLESS BABY?  --ORTHE MOTHER HE

TRUSTED, THE WOMAN WHO MURDERED HIM?

WHO WAS THE REAL MONSTER?  THIS POOR, AFFLICTED CHILD?  --OR THE MOTHER

WHO REFUSED TO LOVE HIM?  JUDGE FOR YOURSELF.

Conrad had written the text of that sign twenty-five years ago, and it

had expressed his feelings perfectly at that time.  He had wanted to

tell the world that Ellen was a baby killer, a ruthless beast, he had

wanted them to see what she had done and to revile her for her

cruelty.

During the off-season the child in the jar remained with Conrad in his

Gibsonton, Florida, home.  During the rest of the year, it traveled

with Yang Barnet's show, a public testament to Ellen's perfidy.

At each new stand, when the midway had been erected again and the gates

were about to be opened to the marks, Conrad came to this tent to see

if the jar had been transported safely.  He spent a few minutes in the

company of his dead boy, silently reaffirming his oath of revenge.

Victor stared back at his father with wide, sightless eyes.  Once the

green of those eyes had been bright, glowing.  Once they had been

quick, inquisitive eyes, filled with bold challenge and self-confidence

beyond their years.  But now they were flat, dull.  The green was not

half so vibrant as it had been in life, years of formaldehyde bleaching

and the relentless processes of death had made the irises milky.

. At last, with a renewed hunger for retribution, , Conrad walked out

of the tent and returned to the funhouse.

Gunther was already standing up on the platform by the boarding gate,

dressed in his Frankenstein monster mask and gloves.  He saw Conrad and

immediately went into his snarling-pawingdancing act, the one he put on

for the marks.

Ghost was at the ticket booth, breaking rolls of quarters and dimes and

nickels into the change drawer, his colorless eyes were filled with the

flickering, silvery images of tumbling coins.

"They're going to open the gate half an hour early," Ghost said.

"Everyone's set up and eager for business, and they say there's already

a crowd of marks waiting outside."

"It's going to be a good week," Conrad said.

"Yeah," Ghost said, pushing one slender hand through his spider-web

hair.  "I have the same feeling.  Maybe you'll even get a chance to

repay that debt."  what?"

"That woman you owe a debt to," Ghost said.  "The one whose children

you're always looking for.  Maybe you'll be lucky and find her here."

"Yes," Conrad said softly.  "Maybe I will."

At eight-thirty Monday night, Ellen Harper was sitting in the living

room of the house on Maple Lane, trying to read an article in the

latest issue of Redbook.  She couldn't concentrate.  Each time she

reached the bottom of a paragraph, she couldn't remember what had been

in it, and she had to go back and read it again.  Eventually she gave

up and just leafed through the magazine, looking at the pictures, while

she sipped steadily from a glass of vodka and orange juice.

Although it was not late, she was already under the spell of the

booze.

She didn't feel good .  Not by a long shot.  Not bad, either.  Just

numb.  But not yet numb enough.

She was alone in the room.  Paul was in his workshop, out in the

garage.  He would come in at eleven o'clock, as usual, to watch the

late news on television, and then he would go to bed.  Joey was in his

room, working on a model of his own-- a plastic representation of Lon

Chaney as the Phantom of the Opera.  Amy was upstairs, too, lying

low.

Except for a brief, fidgety appearance at the dinner table, the girl

had been holed up in her room ever since returning from Dr. Spangler's

office this afternoon.

The girl.  The damned, defiant, wanton girl!  Pregnant!

They didn't have the test results yet, of course.  That would take a

couple of days.  But she knew.

. Amy was pregnant.

e' The magazine rustled in Ellen's tremulous hands.  She put Redbook

aside and went out to ú the kitchen to mix another drink.

She wasn't able to stop worrying about the bind she was in.  She

couldn't allow Amy to have the baby.  But if Paul found out that she

had gone behind his back to arrange an abortion, he would not be

pleased.  For the most part he was a meek man at home, gentle,

easygoing, willing to let her run the house and, generally, their lives

as well.  But he was capable of anger if pushed far enough, and on

those rare occasions when he lost his temper, he could be tough.

If Paul learned of the abortion after the fact, he would want to know

why she hadn't told him, and he would demnd to know why she had

approved of such a thing.  She would have to be able to provide a

cogent explanation, a passionate self-defense.  Right now, however, she

didn't know what in God's name she would say to him if he ever found

out about the abortion.

Twenty years ago, when she had married Paul, she should have told him

about her year with the carnival.  She should have confessed about

Conrad and about the repulsive thing to which she had given birth.  But

she hadn't done what she should have done.  She had been weak.  She hid

the truth from him.

She was afraid he would loathe her and turn away from her if he knew

about her mistakes.  But if she had told him back then, at the very

beginning of their relationship, she wouldn't be in such serious

trouble now.

Several times during the course of their marriage, she had almost

revealed her secrets to him.  When he had talked about having a large

family, there were a hundred times when she almost said, "No, Paul.  I

can't have children.  I've already had one, you see, and it was no

good.  No good at all.  It was a horror.

It wasn't even human.  It wanted to kill me, and I had to kill it

first.  Maybe that hideous child was solely a product of my first

husband's damaged genes.

Maybe my own genetic contribution wasn't to blame.  But I can't take a

chance."

Although she had been on the brink of making that confession countless

times, she had never given voice to it, she had held her tongue,

naively certain that love would conquer all--somehow.

Later, when she was pregnant with Amy, she almost went out of her mind

with worry and fear.  But the baby had been normal.  For a short while,

a few blessed weeks at most, she had been relieved, all doubts about

her genetic fitness banished by the sight of that pink, giggly,

supremely ordinary infant.

But before long it occurred to her that all freaks were not necessarily

physically deformed.  The flaw, the twisted thing, the horrible

difference from normal people--that could be entirely in the mind.  The

baby she'd borne for Conrad was not merely deformed.  It was wicked, it

radiated wickedness, it reeked of malevolent intent, a monster in every

sense of the word.  But wasn't it r. conceivable that her new

girl-child was just as .  wicked as Victor, except that there were no

outward signs of it?  Perhaps a worm of evil nestled deep within the

child's mind, out of sight, - festering, waiting for the proper time

and place to emerge.

, Such a disturbing possibility was like an acid.  It ate away at

Ellen's happiness, it corroded and then destroyed her optimism.  She

soon ceased to take any pleasure in the baby's gurgling and cooing.

She watched the child speculatively, wondering what nasty surprises it

would spring on her in the future.  Perhaps, one night, when the child

was grown tall and strong, it would creep into its parents' bedroom and

murder them in their sleep.

Or perhaps she was crazy, perhaps the child was as ordinary as it

appeared to be, and the problem was in her own mind.  That thought did

occur to her rather frequently.  But each time she began to question

her sanity, she remembered the nightmarish battle with Conrad's

vicious, bloodthirsty offspring, and that grisly, vivid memory never

failed to convince her that she had good reason to be wary and

afraid.

Didn't she?

For seven years she resisted Paul's desire to have another child, but

she got pregnant in spite of her precautions.  Again, she went through

nine months of hell, wondering what sort of strange creature she was

carrying in her womb.

Joey, of course, turned out to be a normal little boy.

On the outside.

But inside?

She wondered.  She watched, waited, feared the worst.

After all these years, Ellen still wasn't sure what to think of her

children.

It was a hell of a way to live.

Sometimes she was filled with a fierce pride and love for them.

She wanted to take them in her arms and kiss them, hug them.  Sometimes

she wanted to give them all the affection that she never had been able

to give them in the past, but after so many years of guarded feelings

and continuous suspicion, she found it virtually impossible to open her

arms to them and to accept such a dangerous emotional commitment with

equanimity.  There were times when she burned with love for Joey and

Amy, times when she ached with a surfeit of unexpressed love, times

when she wept at night, silently, without waking Paul, soaking her

pillow, grieving for her own cold, dead heart.

At other times, however, she still thought she saw something

supernaturally wicked in her progeny.  There were terrible days when

she was convinced they were clever, calculating, infinitely evil beings

engaged in an elaborate masquerade.

Seesaw.

Seesaw.

The worst of it was her loneliness.  She could not share her fears with

Paul, for then she would have to tell him about Conrad, and he would be

devastated to learn that she had been hiding a checkered past from him

for twenty years.

She knew him well enough now to understand that what she'd done in her

youth would not upset him a tenth as much as the fact that she'd

deceived him about it and had kept on deceiving him for so very long.

So she had to deal with her fear by herself.

It was a hell of a way to live.

Even if she could make herself believe, once ,L' and for all, that they

were just two kids like any other two kids, even then her worries

wouldn't be :- at an end.  There was still the possibility that one of

Amy's or Joey's children would be a monster like Victor.  This curse

might strike only one out of every two generations--the mother but not

the child, the grandchild but not the great-grandchild.  It might skip

around at random, raising its ugly head when you least expected to see

it.  Modern medicine had identified a number of genetically transmitted

diseases and inherited deficiencies that skipped some generations in a

family and struck others, leapfrogging down the decades.

If she could only be sure that her first, monstrous baby had been the

product of Conrad's rotten, degenerate spermatozoa, if she could just

be certain that her own chromosomes were not corrupted, she would be

able to lay her fear to rest forever.  But of course there was no way

she could determine the truth of the matter.

Sometimes she thought that life was too difficult and much too cruel to

be worth the effort of living it.

That was why, now, standing in the kitchen on the night of the day that

she had learned of Amy's pregnancy, Ellen tossed down the last of the

drink that she had mixed only minutes ago, and she quickly poured

another.  She had two crutches: liquor and religion.  She could not

have withstood the past twenty-five years without both of those

supports.

Initially, the first year after she left Conrad, religion alone was

sufficient to her needs.  She had gotten a job as a waitress, had

become selfsupporting after a rocky start, and had spent most of her

spare time in church.  She had found that prayer soothed her nerves as

well as her spirit, that confession was good for the soul, and that a

meager Communion wafer taken on the tongue during Mass was far more

nourishing than any six-course meal.

At the end of that first year on her own, more than two years after she

had run from home to join the carnival and to be with Conrad, she felt

fairly good about herself.  She still suffered from bad dreams most

nights.

She was still wrestling with her conscience, trying to make up her mind

whether she had sinned terribly or had merely done God's work when she

had killed Victor.  But at least, as a hard-working waitress, she had

gained a measure of self-respect and independence for the first time in

her life.  Indeed, she had felt sufficiently self-confident to return

home for a visit, intending to patch up her differences with her

parents as best she could.

That was when she discovered they had died in her absence.  Joseph

Giavenetto, her father, was felled by a massive stroke just one month

after

Ellen ran away from home.  Gina, her mother, died less than six months

later.

It happened that way sometimes--wife and husband taking leave of life

within a short time of each other, as if unable to tolerate the

separation.

Although Ellen had not been close to her parents, and although Gina's

excessive strictness and religiosity had created a great deal of

tension and bitterness between mother and daughter, Ellen had been

devastated by the news of their deaths.  She was filled with a cold,

empty, unfinished feeling.  She blamed herself for what had happened to

them.  Running away as she had done, leaving nothing more than a terse,

unpleasant note for her mother, not even saying goodbye to her

father-with those actions she might have precipitated her father's

stroke.

Perhaps she was too hard on herself, but she wasn't able to shrug off

the yoke of guilt.

Thereafter, her religion was not able to provide her with sufficient

comfort, and she augmented the mercy of Jesus with the mercy of the

bottle.  She drank too much--more this year than last, not so much this

year as next year.  Only her family was aware of her habit.  The

churchwomen with whom she worked in charitable causes four days each

week would be shocked to discover that the quiet, earnest, industrious,

devout Ellen Harper was a different person at night, in her own home,

after sunset, behind closed doors, the saint became a lush.

She despised herself for her sinfully excessive fondness for vodka.

But without booze she couldn't sleep, it blocked out the nightmares,

and it gave her a few hours of blessed relief from the worries and

fears that had been eating her alive for twenty-five years.

She put the bottle of vodka and the quart of orange juice on the

kitchen table, pulled out a chair, and sat down.  Now, when her drink

ran low, she wouldn't have to get up to freshen it, she would only have

to bestir herself when her ice had melted.

For a while she sat in silence, drinking, but then, as she stared at

the chair opposite her own, she had a memory-flash of Amy sitting there

this morning, looking up, saying, "I've had some morning sickness, I

missed my period, I'm really pregnant, I know I am .  . ."  Ellen

remembered, far too vividly, how she had struck the girl, how she had

shaken her senseless, how she had cursed her.

If she closed her eyes she could see herself pulling Amy onto the

floor, pushing the girl's head down to the tiles, screaming like a

madwoman, praying at the top of her voice .  . .

She shuddered.

My God, she thought miserably, suddenly pierced by a painfully sharp

insight, I'm like my mother!  I'm exactly like Gina.  I've cowed my

husband just as she cowed hers.  I've been so strict with my children

and so preoccupied with my religion that I've built a wall between

myself and my family--a wall exactly like the one that my mother

constructed.

Ellen felt dizzy, but not merely from the vodka.  The patterns of

history, the familiar circles drawn by repetitive events, startled and

dazed her.

She covered her face with her hands, shamed by the new light in which

she suddenly saw herself.  Her hands were cold.

The kitchen clock sounded like a ticking bomb.

Just like Gina.

Ellen grabbed her drink and took a long swallow of it.  The glass

chattered against her teeth.

Just like Gina.

She shook her head violently, as if she were determined to cast off

that unwelcome thought.  She wasn't as stern and distant and forbidding

as her own mother had been.  She wasn't.  And even if she was, she

couldn't deal with that insight now.  With Amy's pregnancy, Ellen

already had too much to worry about.

She could deal with only one thing at a time.  Amy's problem had to

come first.

If some horrible thing was growing in the girl's womb, it had to be

gotten rid of as quickly as possible.  Maybe then, after the abortion,

Ellen would be able to consider her life and decide what she thought of

the woman she had allowed herself to become, maybe then she would have

the time to reflect on what she had done to her family.  But not now.

God, please, not now.

She tilted her glass and chugged the rest of her drink as if it were

only water.  With an unsteady hand she poured a little more orange

juice and a lot more vodka.

Most nights she wasn't really drunk until eleven or twelve o'clock, but

tonight, by nine-thirty, Ellen was thoroughly intoxicated.  She felt

fuzzy, and her tongue was thick.  She was floating dreamily.  She had

attained the pleasant, mindless state of grace that she had desired so

strongly.

When she glanced at the kitchen clock and saw that it was nine-thirty,

she realized it was Joey's bedtime.  She decided to go upstairs, make

sure he said his prayers, tuck him in, kiss him goodnight, and tell him

a bedtime story.

She hadn't told him any stories in a long, long time.  He'd probably

like that.

He wasn't too old for bedtime stories, was he?  He was still just a

baby.  A little angel.  He had such a sweet, angelic, baby face.

Sometimes she loved him so hard that she thought she'd explode.  Like

now.  She was brimming with love for little Joey.  She wanted to kiss

his sweet face.  She wanted to sit on the edge of the bed and tell him

a story about elves and princesses.

That would be good, so good, just to sit on the edge of the bed with

him smiling up at her.

Ellen finished her drink and got to her feet.  She stood up too fast,

and the room spun around, and she grabbed the edge of the table in

order to keep her balance.

Crossing the living room, she bumped into an end table and knocked over

a lovely, hand-carved, wooden statue of Jesus, which she had bought a

long time ago, in her waitressing days.  The statue fell onto the

carpet, and although it was only a foot high and not heavy, she fumbled

awkwardly with it, trying to retrieve it and set it back where it

belonged, her fingers felt like fat sausages and didn't seem to want to

bend the right way.

She wondered fleetingly if the bedtime story was a good idea after

all.

Maybe she wasn't up l to it.  But then she thought of Joey's sweet face

and his cherubic smile, and she went upstairs.  The steps were

treacherous, but she reached the second-floor hallway without

falling.

When she entered the boy's room, she found that he was already in

bed.

Only the tiny nightlight was burning, a single small bulb in the wall

plug, ghostly, moon-pale.

She stopped inside the doorway, listening.  He usually snored softly

when he slept, but at the moment he was perfectly quiet.  Maybe he

wasn't asleep yet.

Swaying with each step, she walked gingerly to the bed and looked down

at him.

She couldn't see much in the dim light.

Deciding that he must be asleep, wanting only to plant a kiss on his

head, Ellen leaned close-And a leering, luminous, inhuman face jumped

out of the darkness at her, screeching like an angry bird.

She shrieked and staggered backwards.  She collided with the dresser,

hurting her hip.

In her mind she saw a kaleidoscopic tumble of dark, horrific images: a

bassinet shaken by the fury of its monstrous burden, enormous, green,

animal eyes gleaming with hatred, flared, twisted nostrils sniffing,

sniffing, a pale, speckled tongue, long and bony fingers reaching for

her in the flutter-flash of lightning, claws tearing at her .  . .

The nightstand light came on, dispelling the awful memories.

Joey was sitting up in bed.  Mama?"  he said.

Ellen sagged against the dresser and drew deeply, thirstily of the air

that, for a few seconds of eternal duration, she had been unable to

draw into her lungs.  The thing in the darkness had only been Joey.  He

was wearing a Halloween mask that had been shaded with phosphorescent

paint.

"What the hell are you doing?"  she demanded, pushing away from the

dresser, moving toward the bed.

He quickly pulled off the mask.  His eyes were wide.  "Mama, I thought

you were Amy."

"Give me that," she said, snatching the mask out of his hands.

"I put a rubber worm in Amy's cold cream, and I thought it was her

coming to get even with me," Joey said, urgently explaining himself.

"When are you going to outgrow this kind of stupid thing?"  Ellen

demanded, her heart still beating rapidly.

"I didn't know it was you!  I didn't know!"

"This kind of prank is sick," she said angrily.  Her pleasant vodka

haze had evaporated.  Her dreamy laziness was gone, replaced by

nightmare tension.  She was still drunk, but the quality of her high

had changed from bright to somber, from happy to grim.  "Sick," she

said again, looking at the Halloween mask in her hand.  "Sick and

twisted."

Joey cowered back against the headboard, gripping the covers with both

hands, as if he might throw them aside and leap out of bed and run for

all he was worth.

Still quivering from the shock of seeing that grinning, fanged,

luminous face leap out of the darkness, Ellen looked around at the

other weird items in the boy's room.  Spooky posters hung on the walls:

Boris Karloff as the Frankenstein monster, Bela Lugosi as Dracula, and

another horror-movie creature that she couldn't identify.  On the

dresser, the desk, and the bookshelves there were monster

models--three-dimensional plastic figures that Joey had glued together

from kits.

Paul permitted the boy to pursue this macabre hobby, and he insisted it

was a common interest among kids Joey's age.  Ellen had never

strenuously objected.

Although the boy's fascination with horror and blood worried her, it

had seemed like a relatively minor matter, the sort of thing she always

conceded to Paul, so that he would feel comfortable about conceding the

larger and far more important issues to her.

Now, infuriated by the scare that Joey had given her, upset by the

unwanted memories that the prank had resurrected for her, her judgment

still distorted by vodka, Ellen threw the mask into the wastebasket.

"It's time I put an end to this nonsense.  It's time you stopped

playing around with this creepy junk and started behaving like a

normal, healthy boy."  She plucked a couple of monster models from the

dresser and dropped them into the wastebasket.  She swept up the

miniature ghouls and goblins from his desk and put them with the rest

of the trash.  "In the morning, before you go to school, take down

those awful posters and get rid of them.  Be careful not to chip the

plaster when you pull the staples out of the wall.  I'll get some good,

no-nonsense prints to hang in here.  You understand?"

He nodded.  Fat tears rolled down his cheeks, but he didn't make a

sound.

"And no more of these practical jokes of yours," Ellen said harshly.

"No more rubber spiders.  No more phony snakes.  No more rubber worms

in cold cream jars.

Do you hear me?"

He nodded again.  He was rigid, sickly white.  He appeared to be

overreacting to her admonitions.  He didn't look like a boy who was

facing his stern mother, he looked more like a boy facing certain

death.  He looked as if he were convinced that she was going to take

him by the throat and kill him.

The terror in Joey's face jolted Ellen.

I'm just like Gina.

No!  That was unfair.

She was only doing what must be done.  The child needed to be

disciplined and given guidance.  She was merely fulfilling her duty as

a parent.

Just like Gina.

She pushed that thought aside.

"Lie down," she said.

Joey obediently slid under the covers once more.

She went to the nightstand and put her hand on the lamp switch.

"Did you say your prayers?"  "Yeah," he said weakly.

"All of them?"

"Yeah."

~ Tomorrow night you'll say more prayers than usual."

, "Okay-" ' Y'll say them with you to make sure you don't miss a word

of them."  "Okay, Mama She switched off the light.

In a small, uncertain voice, he said, "I didn't know it was you, Mama."

aGo to sleep."  "I thought it was Amy."

Suddenly she wanted to reach down and lift him from the bed and clasp

him to her bosom.  She wanted to hug him tight and kiss him and tell

him everything was all right.

But as she began to lean down toward him, she remembered the Halloween

mask.

When she had seen that fearsome countenance, she had thought that the

demon in Joey had surfaced at last.  She had been sure--just for a

second or two, but long enough to have her complaisance blasted to

bits--that the long-expected transformation had occurred.  Now she was

afraid that she would lean down and hug him and encounter another

sneering troll's face--except that this time it would be no mask.

Maybe this time he would grab her and pull her close, the better to

tear out her stomach with his sharp and gleaming claws.

The torrent of love washed through her and out of her, leaving a barren

wasteland composed of uncertainty and fear.  She was afraid of her own

child.

Seesaw.  Seesaw.

Abruptly she was aware, once more, of how drunk she was.

Rubberjointed.

Unsteady.  Dizzy and vulnerable.

Beyond the vague glow of the night-light, the darkness pulsed and

shifted and edged nearer, as if it were a living creature.

Ellen turned away from the bed and quickly left the room, weaving

through the shadows.  She closed Joey's door behind her and stood for a

moment in the upstairs hallway.  Her heart was slamming like a loose,

windblown shutter in a storm.

Am I mad?  she asked herself.  Am I just like my own mother--seeing the

work of the Devil in everyone, in everything, in places where it

doesn't really exist?

Am I worse than Gina?

No, she told herself adamantly.  I'm not crazy, and I'm not like

Gina.

I've got good reason.  And at the moment .  . . well .  . . maybe I've

had too much to drink, and I'm not thinking straight.

Her mouth was dry and sour from the booze, but she wanted another

drink.  She longed to recapture that feeling of floating, that bright,

pleasant mood she had enjoyed before Joey had scared her with his

Halloween mask.

She already felt the omens of a hangover: a faintly queasy stomach that

would gradually succumb to a growing, roiling nausea, a dull throbbing

in her temples that would become a splitting headache.  What she

needed, before she felt any worse, was some hair of the dog that had

bit her.  A whole lot of hair.  Several glassfuls of hair from that

funny old dog, the dog that came in a clear bottle, the dog that was

distilled from potatoes.  Wasn't vodka made from potatoes?  Potato

juice--that was what would make her feel right again.

Lubricated by some potato juice, she would be able to slip back into

that comfortable mood just as easily as slipping into a soft, fluffy

old robe.

She knew she was a sinner.  Pouring down the booze like she did was

unquestionably sinful, and when she was sober she could see the

spiritual stain that alcohol had left on her.

God help me, she thought.  God help me because I just can't seem to

help myself.

- She went downstairs to get another drink.

Joey stayed in bed for ten minutes after his mother left the room.

Then, when he felt it was safe to move, he snapped on the lamp and got

up.

He went to the wastebasket by the dresser and stared down at the pile

of monster models.  They overflowed the can, a tangle of snarling,

reaching plastic creatures.  Dracula's head had been knocked off.  A

couple of the others also appeared to be damaged.

I won't cry, Joey told himself firmly.  I won't start bawling like a

baby.  She would enjoy that.  I'm not going to do anything she would

enjoy.

Tears continued to slide down his cheeks, but he didn't call that

crying.

Crying was when you wailed your head off and got a runny nose and

blubbered and got red in the face and just totally lost control of

yourself.

He turned away from the wastebasket and went to his desk, from which

Mama had removed all of the miniature monsters he had collected.  The

only thing left was his bank.  He picked that up and carried it to the

bed.

He saved his money in a one-gallon Mason jar.  Most of it was in coins,

squeezed bit by bit from his small weekly allowance, which he earned by

keeping his room neat and by helping around the house.  He also earned

quarters by running to the 7-Eleven for Mrs. Jannison, the old lady

who lived next door.  There were several dollar bills in the jar, too,

most of those were birthday gifts from his Grandma Harper, his Uncle

John Harper, and his Aunt Emma Williams, who was Daddy's sister.

Joey emptied the contents of the jar onto the bed and counted it.

Twenty-nine dollars.  And a nickel.  He was old enough to know that it

wasn't a fortune, but it still seemed like a lot of money to him.

You could go a long way on twenty-nine dollars.  He wasn't sure exactly

how far you could go, but he figured at least two hundred miles.

He was going to pack up and run away from home.  He had to run away.

If he stayed around much longer, Mama was going to come into his room

one night, really drunk, really pissed, and she was going to kill

him.

Just like she had killed Victor.

Whoever Victor was.

He thought about what it would be like, going off on his own to some

strange town, far away.  It would be lonely, for one thing.  He

wouldn't , miss Mama.  He wouldn't even miss his father very much.  But

he sure would miss Amy.  When he thought of leaving Amy and never

seeing her again, he felt his throat tighten, and he thought he was

going to bawl.

Stop it!  Be tough!

He bit his tongue until the urge to cry subsided and he was sure he was

in control of himself.

Running away from home didn't mean he would never see Amy for the rest

of his life.  She would be leaving home, too, in a couple of years,

going away to live on her own, and he could join up with her then.

They could live together in an apartment in New York City or someplace

great like that, and Amy would become a famous painter, and he would

finish growing up.  If he showed up on Amy's doorstep a couple of years

from now, she wouldn't turn him in to Mama, not Amy.

He felt better already.

He put his money back in the big Mason jar and screwed the lid on

tight.  He returned the jar to his desk.

He would have to get coin wrappers from the bank and package his

nickels, dimes, and quarters into rolls, then trade them in for folding

money.  He couldn't run away from home with his pockets stuffed full of

loose, jangling change, that would be childish.

He slipped into bed again and turned off the light.

The only thing bad about running away was that he would miss the county

fair in July.  He had been looking forward to it for nearly a year.

Mama didn't approve of going to the fair and mixing with those carnival

people.  She said they were dirty and dangerous, a bunch of crooks.  I

Joey didn't put much faith in what Mama said , about anyone.  So far as

Mama was concerned, there was hardly a person in the whole world .

who was free of sin.  P Some years his father took him to the carnival

.

on Saturday, the last day of the fair.  But other years there was too

much work at the law office, and Daddy couldn't get away.

This year Joey had intended to sneak off to the carnival on his own.

The fairgrounds were less than two miles away from the Harper house,

and he had to travel only two streets to get there.  It was an easy

place to find, high up on the hill.  Joey had planned to tell his

mother that he was going to the library for the day, which he

occasionally did, but then he was going to take his bicycle out to the

fairgrounds and have himself a real ball all morning and afternoon,

getting home just in time for supper, without Mama being any the

wiser.

He especially hated to miss the fair this year because it was going to

be bigger and better than ever.  The midway would be run by a different

outfit from the one that had always come to Royal City in the past.

This carnival was supposed to be humongous, the second largest in the

world, two or three times bigger than the rinky-dink carnival that

usually came to town.

There would be a lot more rides than there had been in other years, a

great many new things to see and do.

But he wouldn't see or do any of them if he was two hundred miles away,

starting a new life in a strange city.

For almost a full minute Joey lay in the darkness, feeling sorry for

himself-and then he sat bolt upright, electrified by a brilliant

idea.

He could leave home and still get to see the fair.  He could do both.

It was simple.  Perfect.

He would run away with the carniual!

WEDNESDAY MORNING THE test results came back from the lab.  Amy was

officially pregnant.

Wednesday afternoon she and Mama went to the bank and withdrew enough

money from Amy's savings account to pay cash for the abortion.

Saturday morning they told Amy's father that they were going shopping

for a few hours.  Instead, they went to Dr.  Spangler's clinic.

At the admissions desk Amy felt like a criminal.  Neither Dr. Spangler

nor his associates, Dr. West and Dr. Lewis, nor any of his nurses was

Catholic, they performed abortions every week, month in and month out,

without attaching any moral judgment to the act.  Nevertheless, after

so many years of intense religious instruction, Amy felt almost as if

she were about to become an accomplice to a murder, and she knew that

at least a residue of guilt would remain with her for a long, long

time, staining any happiness she I might be able to achieve.

E She still found it difficult to believe that Mama had agreed to let

her abort the fetus.  She wondered about the fear in her mother's

eyes.

The operation was done on an outpatient basis, i and a nurse took Amy

to a room where she could undress and put her clothes in a locker.

Mama remained in the waiting room.

i In the prep room, after a nurse had taken a - blood sample, Dr.

Spangler came in to chat with s her for a moment.  He tried to put her

at ease.  He was a jovial, chubby man with a bald head and .  bushy

gray sideburns.

' "You're not very far gone," he said.  "This will be a simple

procedure.  No serious chance of complications.  Don't worry about it,

okay?

It'll be over before you realize it's begun."

- In the small operating room, Amy was given a mild anesthetic.  She

began to drift out of her body as if she were a balloon rising into a

high, blue sky.

In the distance, beyond a haze of light and a curtain of whispering

air, Amy heard a nurse talking softly.  The woman said, "She's a very

pretty girl, isn't she?"  aYes, very pretty," Dr. Spangler said, his

voice fading syllable by syllable, almost inaudible.  "And a nice girl,

too.  I've been her doctor since she was a little tot.  She's always

been so polite, selfeffacing .  . ."

Soaring up and away from them, Amy tried to tell the doctor that he was

wrong.

She wasn't a nice girl.  She was a very bad girl.  He should ask

Mama.

Mama would tell him the truth.  Amy Harper was a bad girl, evil inside,

loose, wild, untrustworthy, just no damned good.  She tried to tell Dr.

Spangler how worthless she was, but her lips and tongue wouldn't

respond to her urging.  She couldn't make a sound--until she said,

"Uh," and opened her eyes in the recovery room.

She was on a wheeled cart with railed sides, flat on her back, staring

at an acoustic-tiled ceiling.  For a moment she couldn't figure out

where she was.

Then she remembered everything, and she was amazed that the abortion

had been such a quick and easy procedure.

They kept her in the recovery room for an hour, just to be sure she

wasn't going to hemorrhage.

By three-thirty she was in the Pontiac with her mother, on the way

home.

During the first half of the short drive, neither of them spoke.

Mama's face looked like a stone carving.

Finally Amy said, "Mama, I know you'll want me to keep a curfew for a

couple of months, but I hope you'll let me work evenings down at The

Dive, if that's the shift Mr. Donnatelli gives me."  "You can work

whenever you want to work," her mother said coldly.

"I'll come home straight from work."  "You don't have to," Mama said.

"I don't care what you do.  I just don't care anymore.  You won't

listen to me anyway.  You won't behave yourself.  You've loosened the

reins on that thing inside of you, and now there's no holding it

back.

There's not a thing I can do.  I wash my hands of you.  I wash my

hands."

"Mama, please.  Please.  Don't hate me."

"I don't hate you.  I just feel numb, blank.  I don't feel much of

anything for you right now."  "Don't give up on me."

"There's only one road to Heaven," Mama said.  But if you want to go to

Hell, you'll find a thousand roads that'll take you there.  I can't

block all of them."

"I don't want to go to Hell," Amy said.

"It's your own choice," Mama said.  "From here on it's your own

doing.

Do whatever you want.  You'll never listen to me anyway, so I wash my

hands."  As she spoke she pulled the car into the driveway of the house

on Maple Lane.

"I'm not coming in with you.  I've got to do some grocery shopping.  If

your father's back from the office, tell him the reason you look so

pale is because you ate a hamburger for lunch, while we were shopping

at the mall, and it didn't agree with you.  Go to your room and stay

out of his way.  The less he sees of you, the less likely he is to get

suspicious."

All right, Mama."

When Amy went in the house she found that her father hadn't returned

from the office yet.  Joey was still playing at Tommy Culp's house.

She was alone.

She changed into pajamas and a bathrobe, then called Liz Duncan.

"It's over."

"Really?"  Liz asked.

"I just got home."  "You're all scraped out?"

"Do you have to put it so crudely?"  Amy asked.  That's what they do,"

Liz said blithely.  "They scrape you out.  How do you feel?"

"Scraped out," Amy admitted miserably.

"Sick in the tummy?"

"A little.  And I ache .  . . down there."

"You mean you've got a sore cunt?"  Liz asked.  "Do you have to talk

that way?"

"What way?"

"Gross."

"That's one of my most charming qualities--my complete lack of

inhibitions.

Listen, other than your tummy and your cunt, how are you feeling?"

"Very, very tired."

"That's all?"

"Yes.  It was easier than I thought it would be."

"Gee, I'm relieved.  I was worried about you, kid.  I was really,

really worried."

"Thanks, Liz."  "Are you grounded for the summer?"

"No.  I thought there'd be a curfew for a while, but Mama says she

doesn't care what I do.  She's washed her hands of me."

"She said that?"

"Yes."  aMy God, that's terrific!"

"Is it?"  Amy wondered.

"Of course it is, you silly ass.  You make your own rules now.

You're free, kid!"  Liz put on a phony Southern Negro dialect: Yo'

massah have done turned yo' loose, chile!"

Amy didn't laugh.  She said, aRight now, all I care about is getting

some sleep.  I was awake all last night and most of the night before.

And with this business today .  . . well, I'm dead on my feet."

"Sure," Liz said.  "I understand.  I won't keep you on the phone for an

hour.

Get some rest.  Call me tomorrow.  We'll make plans for the summer.

It's going to be a blast, kid.  We'll make some memories and blow out

all the candles for our last summer together.  I've already got a

couple of guys in mind for you."

UI don't think a guy is exactly what I need right now," Amy said.

"Oh, not in the next ten minutes," Liz agreed.  "But after you've had a

couple of weeks to recover, you'll be ready to get back in the swing of

things."

"I don't think so, Liz."

"Sure you will.  You're not going to become a nun, for God's sake.

You need to get some of that old salami once in a while, kid.  You need

it the same way I need it.  We're two of a kind in that respect.

Neither of us can do without a guy for long."

"We'll see," Amy said.

"Only this time," Liz said, "you're going to do what I tell you.

You're going to get a prescription for the pill."

I really don't think I'll need it," Amy said.

"That's what you thought the last time, dope."

A few minutes later, in her room, Amy knelt at the side of her bed and

started to say her prayers.  But after a minute or two she stopped

because, for the first time in her life, she had the feeling that God

wasn't listening.  She wondered if He would ever listen to her again.

In bed she cried herself to sleep, and no one woke her for dinner or

for Mass the next morning.  When she opened her eyes again, it was

eleven o'clock Sunday morning, and scattered, white clouds were racing

like great sailing ships across the sea-blue sky beyond her window.

She had slept eighteen hours straight through.

As far as she could remember, this was only the second time she had

missed Sunday Mass since she was a few months old.  The other time had

been when she was nine and in the hospital, recovering from an

emergency appendectomy.  She had been scheduled to be discharged on

Monday, and her mother had argued with the doctor about letting her out

one day early so she could be taken to church, but the doctor had said

that church wasn't the best place for a child recuperating from

surgery.

She was relieved that Mama hadn't forced her to go to church this

morning.

Apparently Mama didn't think that her wicked daughter belonged in a

church anymore.

And maybe Mama was right.

The following day, Monday, May 26, two sign painters went to work on

the large billboard at the entrance to the county fairgrounds, just

outside the Royal City limits.  By midafternoon they were finished.

COMING COMING COMING ** JUNE 30

THROUGH JULY 5

** THE ANNUAL ROYAL COUNTY FAIR *HARNESS RACING *ARTS & CRAFTS SHOW

*LIVESTOCK AUCTIONS *GAMES, THRILL RIDES MDWAY ATTRaCTION BY: A MONTH

AFTER the abortion, the last week of June, Amy was working at The Dive,

nine-to-five Monday through Friday, and noon-to-six on Saturday.  The

place was jumping every minute with a tanned and energetic crowd of

teenagers.

At six o'clock Saturday evening, as Amy was getting ready to go home,

Liz Duncan came in, looking like a million bucks in tight red shorts

and a white T-shirt, no bra.  "I've got a date with Richie tonight.

He's going to meet me here at six-thirty.  Want to wait with me so I

don't get lonely?"

"You wouldn't get lonely," Amy said.  "If you sat down alone, every guy

in the place would be hanging on you in two minutes."

Liz looked speculatively at the kids in The Dive, then shook her

head.

"Nope.

Once I've dated a guy and then dropped him, he knows it's over for

good, he knows it isn't worth his time to pitch me for a rematch."

"So?"

"So most of the guys in here wouldn't bother me if I sat down alone

because I've already screwed most of them."

"Gross," Amy said.

"But almost true," Liz said.

"You're bad."

"That's why the boys like me.  Listen, are you going to keep me company

till Richie gets here?"  "Sure," Amy said.

She went to the fountain and drew down two Cokes, and she and Liz took

the first booth at the front of the room, where they had a view of Main

Street.

Liz's car was parked out front.  It was a yellow Toyota Celica.

Her parents had given it to her as a surprise graduation gift.

"No matter how hard I try," Amy said, "I can't picture you and Richie

Atterbury as a couple."

"Why not?  We were both unique in school," Liz said.  "He was the class

genius with an IQ of oneeighty, and I was the class slut with a hundred

and eighty names on my scorecard."

"I don't know why you keep putting yourself down like that," Amy

said.

"You haven't had anywhere near a hundred and eighty guys, for God's

sake."

"I'm not putting myself down," Liz said.  "Honey, I revel in it.  I

love what I am.  It's the only way to fly."  aRichie was always so

shy."

"He's not so shy anymore," Liz said.  She winked.

Listen, it's been a ball teaching Richie what the : game is all

about.

He was so gangly and clumsy and naive!  A real challenge.  But he's

coming along.  He's coming along real nice.  He has a real taste for

corruption."

, "And you're corrupting him?"

: "ExactlY."

Isn't that a bit melodramatic?"

, "No.  Because that's exactly what I'm doing.  I'm corrupting Richie

Atterbury, boy genius."

, "Elizabeth Ann Duncan, sultry temptress, the b all-knowing wanton

woman of exotic Royal City," Amy said sarcastically.

:, Liz grinned.  "That's me.  You know, just three weeks ago, when I

first started going out with him, Richie had never smoked grass?  Can

you O imagine?  Now he's a regular pothead."

That's the only reason you're dating him?  Just so you can corrupt

him?"

"No," Liz said.  "It's a hell of a lot of fun to open him up to new

things, new experiences.  But even if he already knew his way around,

he'd be fun to be with.  He's clever, witty.  And he seems to know

something interesting about almost everything.  I've never dated a

genius before.  It's different."  "Sounds like maybe this one will last

a little longer than the others," Amy said.

"No way," Liz said quickly.  "I figure another month, six weeks at the

outside.

Then bye-bye, Richie.  No matter how clever he is, I'll be bored with

him by then.  Besides, even if I wanted something permanent with

someone, which I don't want, but even if for some weird reason I did, I

wouldn't want anything permanent with anyone here in this jerkwater

town.  I don't want anyone holding me back when I'm ready to split for

the west." "You're still planning on goingn "Hell, yes.  I'll work in

my father's office until the middle of December, build up a nest egg,

and then knock off a couple of weeks before Christmas.

After the holiday, I'll pack my clothes into my little yellow car, and

I'll be off like a shot to the land of sun and opportunity."

"California?"

Y've decided on Vegas," Liz said.

aLas Vegas?"  "That's the only Vegas I know."

"What will you do there?" "Sell it," Liz said, grinning again.

"Sell what?"

"Don't be dopey." "I'm not being dopey." "As dense as a post."  "I

don't understand.  What are you going to sell?" "My ass."  "Huh?" "I'm

going to do some heavy hooking."  "Hooking?"

"Jesus!n Liz said.  "Listen, kid, don't you realize how much money a

high-priced call girl can make in Vegas?  A six-figure income, that's

how much."

Amy stared at her in disbelief.  "You're trying to make me believe that

you're going to Vegas to be a whore?" "I'm not trying to make you

believe anything," Liz said.  "I'm merely telling you the facts, kid.

Besides, I'm not going to be an ordinary whore.  Whore is a low-class

word.  Whores are cheap.  I'm going to be a personal escort, an

intimate companion to a new gentleman every evening.  Intimate

companions are quite expensive, you know.  And I'm going to be more

expensive than most of them."

"You aren't serious."  "Of course I am.  I've got a good personality, a

damned nice face, long legs, a cute little butt, almost no waist at

all, and these."  She thrust her chest out, and her large, uptilted

breasts strained against the thin T-shirt.  "If I can learn not to

spend every dime I make, and if I can find a few good investments, I'll

be worth at least a million by the time I'm twenty-five."

"You won't do it."

"Yep."  "You're putting me on."

: "Nope.  Listen, I'm a regular nympho.  I know that.  You know that.

Practically everyone knows that.  I can't keep my hands off the guys,

and I like variety.

So if I'm going to be screwing around every day of the week, I might as

well get paid for it." Amy stared at her searchingly, and Liz met her

eyes, and at last Amy said, "My God, you really mean it."

"Why not?"  aLiz, a prostitute's life isn't pleasant.  It isn't fun and

games.

It's lonely and grim."  "Who says?" "Well .  . . everyone says."

"Everyone is full of shit."  "If you go away and do something like this

. . .

Liz, it'll be such a .  . . such a tragedy.  That's what it'll be.

You'll be throwing your whole life away, ruining everything." "You

sound like your mother," Liz said scornfully.

"I don't, either." "Oh, yes you do," Liz said.  "You sound exactly like

her."

Amy frowned.  "I do?"  "Smug, moralistic, self-righteous." "I'm just

worried about you."

"I know what I'm doing," Liz said.  "Listen, when you're a high-priced

call girl, you party all the time.  What's so lonely and grim about

that?  It is fun and games.  Especially in Vegas, where there's never a

dull minute."

Amy was stunned.  She had never imagined that she would one day have a

friend who was a prostitute.  For a while they sat in silence, sipping

their Cokes and listening to a Bob Seger number that was blasting out

of the jukebox with the force of a jackhammer.

When the music stopped, Liz said, "You know what would be great?"

"What?"

"If you came along with me to Vegas." "Me ?"  "Sure.  Why not?"  aMy

God," Amy said, shocked by the idea.

"Listen, I know I'm a damned desirable little package," Liz said.

"But I'm not one bit sexier than you are.  You've got just what it

takes to be a huge success in Vegas."

Amy laughed with embarrassment.

"You really do," Liz insisted.

"Not me."

"They'd be standing in line for a chance to get in your pants.

Listen, kid, in that town you'd outdraw Liberace and Frank Sinatra

combined."  "Oh, Liz, I couldn't do that sort of thing.  Not in a

million years."  "You did it with Jerry."

"Not for money."

Which is foolish."  "Anyway, that was different.  Jerry was my steady

boyfriend."

"What's so great about steady?"  Liz demanded.  "Did going steady mean

anything to Jerry?  He dumped you the second he heard you were knocked

up.

He wasn't considerate or sympathetic or loyal or anything else a steady

is supposed to be.  I guarantee you, none of the men you'd be escorting

in Vegas would treat you that shabbily." "With my luck," Amy said, "my

first client would turn out to be a homicidal maniac with a butcher

knife." "No, no, no," Liz said.  "Your clients would all come with

seals of approval from hotel pit bosses and other casino executives.

They'd send you only the high rollers--doctors, lawyers, famous

entertainers, millionaire businessmen .

. .You'd only take on the best people."  "This may come as a surprise

to you," Amy said, abut even a millionaire businessman can turn out to

be a homicidal maniac with a butcher knife.  It's rare.  I'll grant you

that.  But it's not impossible." "sO you carry your own knife in your

purse," Liz said.  "If he starts acting creepy, you make the first

cut." "You have an answer for everything, don't you?"

"I'm just a girl from little old Royal City, Ohio," Liz said, abut I'm

not a hick." "Well, I don't think I'll be going to Vegas with you at

the end of the year," Amy said.  "It's going to be a long, long time

before I'm even ready to go on a nice, quiet, no-sex date.  I've sworn

off men for a while."  "Bullshit," Liz said.

"It's true."  "You haue been a stick-in-the-mud so far this summer,"

Liz said.

aBut that'll pass."  "No.  I mean it." "Last week you went to the

doctor I recommended," Liz said smugly.

"sO?" "sO you got a prescription for the pill.  Would you get a

prescription for the pill if you really intended to be a wallflower?"

"You talked me into that," Amy said.

"For your own good." "I wish I hadn't gone to that doctor.  I won't be

needing the pill or anything else until I'm out of college.  I'm going

to sit back, with my knees together, and be virginal." aLike hell you

are," Liz said.  "Two weeks from now, you'll be flat on your back,

pinned under one stud or another.  Two weeks at most.  I know it.  I

know you backwards and forwards, up and down, inside and out.  You know

how it is that I'm able to read you so clearly?  It's because you're

exactly like me.

We're two of a kind.  Peas in a pod.  Oh, not on the surface,

necessarily.  But deep down, deep in your heart where it counts, you're

exactly like me, honey.

That's why we'd be great together in Vegas.  We'd have a ball."

Richie Atterbury walked up to the table.  He was a tall, thin boy, not

handsome but not unattractive, either.  He had thick, dark hair, and he

wore horn-rimmed glasses that made him look a little bit like Clark

Kent.  "Hi, Liz.  Hi, Amy."

Amy said, "Hello, Richie.  That's a pretty shirt you're wearing." "You

really think so?"  he asked.

aYes.  I like it a lot."

"Thanks," Richie said awkwardly.  He looked at Liz with his big,

lovesick, puppy eyes, and he said, "Ready for the movie?"

Can't wait," Liz said.  She stood up.  To Amy, she said, "We're going

to the drive-in.  That's really fitting, too."  She grinned wickedly.

"Because Richie sure knows how to drive it in." Richie blushed.

Liz laughed and said, "The only way I'm going to see much of this movie

is if we set up a series of mirrors to reflect it onto the ceiling of

the car."

"Liz, you're terrible," Amy said.

"Do you think I'm terrible?" Liz asked Richie.

"I think you're terrific," Richie said, daring to put an arm around her

waist.

He still seemed somewhat bashful, even if Liz had made him more than

passingly familiar with sex and drugs.

Liz looked at Amy.  "See?  He thinks I'm terrific, and he was the class

genius, so what do you know about it?" Amy smiled in spite of

herself.

"Listen," Liz said, "when you're ready to start living again, when

you're sick and tired of playing Sister Purity, give me a call.  I'll

line someone up for you.  We'll double-date." Amy watched Liz and

Richie as they walked outside and got into the yellow Celica.  Liz

drove.  She pulled away from the curb with a torturous squeal of tires

that made everyone in The Dive look toward the front windows.

After Amy left The Dive at twenty minutes till seven, she didn't go

straight home.  She walked aimlessly for more than an hour, not really

window-shopping in the stores she passed, not really noticing the

houses she passed, not really enjoying the clean spring evening, just

walking and thinking about the future.

When she got home at eight o'clock, her father was in his workshop.

Her mother was sitting at the kit,chen table, leafing through a

magazine, listening to a radio call-in program, and sucking on vodka

and orange juice.

"If you didn't have dinner at work," Mama said, "there's some cold

roast beef in the refrigerator." "Thank you," Amy said, abut I'm not

hungry.  I ate a big lunch." 1-15

: "Suit yourself," Mama said.  She turned up the volume on the radio.

Amy interpreted that as a sign of dismissal.  She went upstairs.

She spent an hour with Joey, playing fivehundred rummy, his favorite

card game.  The boy didn't seem himself.  He hadn't been the old,

effervescent Joey since Mama had made him get rid of his monster models

and posters.  Amy worked hard at making him laugh, and he did laugh,

but his good humor seemed like a facade to her.  He was tense

underneath, and she hated to see him that way, but she couldn't figure

out how to reach him and cheer him up.

Later, in her room, she stood nude again in front of the full-length

mirror.

She appraised her body with a critical eye, trying to decide if she

did, indeed, measure up to Liz.  Her legs were long and quite well

shaped.  Her thighs were taut, the muscle tone in her whole body was

very good.  Her bottom was round and sort of perky, very firm.  Her

belly was not just flat but slightly concave.  Her breasts weren't as

large as Liz's, but they weren't small by any definition, and they were

extremely well shaped, up-thrust, with large, dark nipples.

It was definitely a body well designed for sex, for easily attracting

and satisfying a man.  The body of a courtesan?  The body of, as Liz

put it, an intimate companion?  The legs and hips and buttocks and

breasts of a whore?  Was that what she had been born for?  To sell

herself?  Was a future as a prostitute unavoidable?  Was it some how

her destiny to spend thousands of sweaty nights clutching total

strangers in hotel rooms?

Liz said she saw corruption in Amy's eyes.  Mama said the same thing.

To Mama, that corruption was a monstrous, evil thing that must be

suppressed at all costs, but to Liz, it was nothing to be afraid of,

something to be embraced.

There couldn't be two people more different than Liz and Mama, yet they

agreed on what was to be seen in Amy's eyes.

Now Amy stared at her reflection in the mirror, peered into the windows

of her soul, but although she looked very hard, she wasn't able to see

anything more than the characterless surfaces of two dark and rather

pretty eyes, she couldn't see either the rot of Hell or the grace of

Heaven.

She was lonely, frustrated, and terribly, terribly confused.  She

wanted to understand herself.  More than anything she wanted to find

the right role for herself in the world, so that for the first time in

her life she would not feel tense and hopelessly out of place.

If her hope of going to college and her dream of becoming an artist

were unrealistic, then she didn't want to spend years struggling for

what she was not meant to have.  Her life had been too much of a

struggle already.

She touched her breasts, and her nipples sprang up at once, stiff,

proud, as large as the tips of her little fingers.  Yes, this was a bad

thing, a sinful thing, just as Mama said, yet it felt so good, so

sweet.

If she could be sure that God would listen to her, she would get down

on her knees and ask Him for a sign, an irrefutably holy sign that

would tell her, once and for all, whether she was a good person or a

bad person.

But she didn't think God would listen to her after what she'd done to

the baby.

Mama said she was bad, that Something lurked inside of her, that she

had let go of the reins that had been holding that Something back.

Mama said she had the potential to be evil.  And a mother should know

that kind of thing about a daughter.

Shouldn't she?

Shouldn't she?

Before he went to bed, Joey counted the money in his bank again.

During the past month he had added two dollars and ninety-five cents to

the contents of the jar, and now he had exactly thirty-two dollars.

He wondered if he would have to bribe someone at the carnival to let

him run away with them when they left town.  He figured he would need

twenty dollars as a minimum bankroll, which would keep him in grub

until he started earning money as a carny, sweeping up after the

elephants and doing whatever else a ten-year-old boy could find to do

on a midway.  So that left only twelve bucks that he could spare for a

bribe.

Would that be enough?

He decided to ask his father for two dollars to go to the Sunday

matinee at the Rialto theater.  But he wouldn't actually spend the

money on the movies.  He would go over to Tommy Culp's house and play

tomorrow afternoon, pretend that he'd seen the movies when his father

asked about them, and add the two bucks to his escape fund.

He returned the bank to the desk.

When he said his prayers before going to bed, he asked God to please

keep Mama from getting pissed and coming into his room again.

The next day, Sunday, Amy called Liz.

"Hello," Liz said.

"This is Sister Purity," Amy said.

"Oh, hello, Sister." "I've decided to leave the nunnery."

"Hallelujah!"

"It's cold and drafty here in the nunnery." "Not to mention boring,"

Liz said.

'7What have you got for me that I won't find boring" "How about Buzz

Klemmet?"

"I don't know him," Amy said.

"He's eighteen, soon nineteen I think.  He was in the class ahead of

ours--" "Ah, an older man!"  "Bbut he dropped out of school in eleventh

grade.  He works at the Arco station on the corner of Main and

Broadway."  "You sure know how to pick them," Amy said sarcastically.

"He may not sound like much," Liz said, abut wait till you see him.

He's a hunk."

"A hunk of what?"  "Pretty muscle." "Can he speak?" "Just well enough."

"Can he tie his own shoelaces?" "I'm not sure," Liz said.  "But he

usually wears loafers, so you won't have to worry about that." "I hope

you know what you're doing."  "Trust me," Liz said.  "You'll love

him.

What night should I set it up for?"  "Doesn't matter," Amy said.  "I

work days."

"Tomorrow night?"  "Fine." "We'll double," Liz said.  "Me and Richie,

you and Buzz."  "Where do you want to go?"  "How about my place?  We'll

play some records, watch a movie on my folks' videocassette machine,

roll a few joints.  I got some bitchin' grass that'll mellow us out

real fast."

'7What about your parents?"  Amy asked.

"They're leaving on a two-week vacation today.  New Orleans.  I'll have

the house all to myself."

"They trust you alone there for two weeks?" "They trust me not to burn

the place to the ground," Liz said.

"And that's really all they care about.  Listen, kid, I'm glad you

finally came to your senses.  I was afraid the summer was going to be a

bummer.  We'll sure raise hell now that you're back in the swing of

things."  "I'm not sure I want to get back in the swing of things, at

least not all the way, if you know what I mean.  I want to have some

fun.  I want to date.  But I don't think I'm going to screw around

anymore.  Not until college is behind me." "Sure, sure," Liz said.

"I mean it." "Take it at your own pace, honey.  Anyway, we'll sure have

some fun with my old man and old lady out of town."  "And the county

fair is next week," Amy said.

"Hey, yeah!  I really get off on smoking some good dope and then

hopping on those thrill rides."  "I suspect you would." "And did you

ever get high and then go through the funhouse, with all those fake

monsters jumping out at you?"

"Never did," Amy said.

"It's hilarious."

"I'll look forward to it," Amy said.

JANET MIDDLEMEIR WAS a safety engineer for the I county.  Her job was

to make certain that all public buildings--courthouses, firehouses,

libraries, schools, sheriff's substations, government-subsidized sports

arenas and stadiums, and so forth-- were at all times clean, well

lighted, and safe for both visitors and workers.  She was responsible

for the inspection of the structural integrity of those buildings as

well as for the condition and suitability of all machinery and all

major nonmechanical equipment within their walls.  Janet was young,

only a few years out of college, only two years on the job, and she was

still as dedicated to her work as she had been when she had first

started, her duties seemed almost holy to her, and the words "public

trustn still held some meaning for her, even if they didn't mean much

to some of the people with whom she worked in the county and state

bureaucracies.  She had not yet been a public employee long enough to

be tainted by the inevitable corrupting influences that were attendant

to any government program.  She cred.

On Monday, June 23, when the carnival came to Rockville, Maryland,

Janet Middlemeir presented herself at the office-trailer that provided

working space for Mr. Frederick Frederickson, the silver-haired owner

and operator of Big American Midway Shows.  With characteristic

directness and crispness, Janet stated her intention of going through

the lot from one end to the other, until she was fully satisfied that

the thrill rides and the other large attractions were safely erected.

She would not approve the opening of the carnival if she felt that it

represented a threat to the well-being of the citizens of her county.

She was pushing her authority a little bit, perhaps even exceeding

it.

She wasn't entirely sure that the carnival's equipment came under her

jurisdiction, even though it stood on the county-owned fairgrounds.

The law was vague on that point.  No one from the county Office of

Public Safety had ever inspected the carnival before, but Janet felt

she couldn't shirk that responsibility.  Just a few weeks ago a young

woman had died when a carnival ride had collapsed in Virginia, and

although that tragic accident hadn't happened on the lot of Big

American Midway Shows, Janet was determined to put Big American under a

microscope before the fairground gates swung open.

When she stated her intentions to Mr. Frederickson, she was afraid

that he would think she was trying to shake him down, and she didn't

know quite how she would handle him if he tried to bribe her.  She knew

that carnivals employed a man whose job it was to bribe public

officials, they called him the "patch" because he went into town ahead

of the show and patched things up with the police and certain other key

government employees, lining their pockets with folding money and books

of free tickets for their friends and families.  If a patch didn't do

his job, the police usually raided the midway, closing down all the

games, even if it was a straight carnival that didn't dupe the marks

out of their money, unpaid and angry about it, the police could shutter

even the cleanest girly shows and legally declare the thrill rides

hazardous, quickly and effectively bringing the carnival to its

knees.

She didn't want the people at Big American to think she was after a

fast buck.

Fortunately, Mr. Frederickson was a well-educated, well-spoken,

courtly gentleman, not at all what she had expected, and he both

recognized and admired her sincerity.  No bribe was offered.  He

assured her that his people were as concerned about the health and

safety of their customers as she was, and he gave her permission to

poke around in every corner of the midway for as long as she liked.

Frederickson's superintendent of transportation, Max Freed, issued her

a badge with the letters VIP on it, so that all the carnies would

cooperate with her.

For most of the morning and afternoon, wearing a hard hat, carrying a

big flashlight and a notebook, Janet prowled the grounds, watching the

midway rise like a phoenix, inspecting bolts and rivets and

spring-locked joints, crawling into dark, tight places when that was

necessary, overlooking nothing.  She discovered that Frederick

Frederickson had been telling the truth, Big American was conscientious

about maintenance and more than conscientious, downright fussy, about

the erection of rides and sideshows.

At a quarter past three she came to the funhouse, which appeared to be

ready for business a full hour and fifteen minutes before the gates

were scheduled to open.  The area around the attraction was deserted,

quiet.  She wanted someone to give her a guided tour of the funhouse,

but she couldn't locate anyone associated with it, and for a moment she

considered skipping the place.

She hadn't found even one major safety problem anywhere else on the

midway, and it wasn't likely that she would uncover a dangerous

construction-code violation here.  She'd probably just be wasting her

time.

Nevertheless .  . .

She had a strong sense of duty.

She walked up the boarding ramp, past the ticket booth, and stepped

down into the sunken channel in which the gondolas would move when the

ride was started up.  From the boarding gate the channel led to a set

of large plywood doors that were painted to resemble the massive,

timbered, iron-hinged doors of a forbidding castle.  When the ride was

in service, the doors would swing back to admit each oncoming car, then

fall shut behind it.

At the moment, as she approached the entrance, one door was propped

open.  She i peered inside.

The interior of the funhouse wasn't as dark now as it would be when the

ride was in operation.  A string of work lights ran the length of the

track and disappeared around a bend fifty feet away, when the place was

open for business, those lights would be extinguished.  Yet even with

that chain of softly glowing bulbs, the funhouse was gloomy.

- Janet leaned through the doorway.  "Hello?"

No one answered.

. "Is anyone there?"  she asked.

Silence.

She switched on her flashlight, hesitated only a second, and stepped

inside.

The funhouse smelled damp and oily.

She knelt and inspected the pins that joined two sections of track.

They were securely fastened.

She got up and moved deeper into the building.

On both sides of the track, slightly elevated from it, life-sized

mechanical figures stood in secret niches in the walls: an ugly,

leering pirate with a sword in his hand, a werewolf, claws coated with

silvery, day-glow paint that would make them look like glinting blades

in the dark, phony but realistic blood on his wolfish snout and on his

two-inch-long fangs, a grinning, blood-drenched ax-murderer standing

over the hideously wounded corpse of one of his victims, and many

others, some more gruesome than those first few.  In this light Janet

could see that they were only clever, lifelike mannequins, but she felt

uneasy around them.

Although none of them was animated, as all of them would be when the

funhouse was in operation, they looked as if they were about to pounce

on her, to her chagrin, the damned things spooked her.  But her dislike

of them didn't prevent her from inspecting the anchor bolts on a few of

them to make sure they wouldn't topple down into a passing gondola and

injure a rider.

Walking along the passageway, looking up at the monsters, Janet

wondered why people insisted on referring to a place like this as a

funhouse.

She turned the bend at the end of the first length of track, moved

farther into the funhouse, turned another corner, then another,

marveling at the richness of invention that had been employed in the

design of the place.  It was huge, as large as a medium-sized

warehouse, and it was crammed full of genuinely frightening things.  It

wasn't the sort of amusement that appealed to her, but she had to

admire the work, the craftsmanship, and the creativity that had gone

into it.

She was in the center of the enormous structure, standing on the track,

looking up at a man-sized spider hanging overhead, when someone put a

hand on her shoulder.  She gasped, jumped, jerked away from the

unexpected contact, turned, I and would have screamed if her throat

hadn't frozen.  i A man was standing on the tracks behind her.  He was

extremely tall, at least six and a half feet, broad-shouldered,

barrel-chested, and he was wearing a Frankenstein outfit: a black suit,

a black turtleneck, monster gloves, and a rubber mask that covered his

entire head.  "Scared?"  he asked.  His voice was exceptionally deep

and hoarse.  She swallowed hard, finally breathed, and said, aYes, my

God!  You scared me half to death."  , "My job," he said.  "What?"

"Scare the marks.  My job."  "Oh.  You work here at the funhouse?"

"My job," he said.  n She decided that he must be dull-witted.  His

simple, halting declarations resembled the speech patterns of a

severely retarded child.  Trying to be friendly, hoping to keep him

friendly, she said, My name's Janet.  What's yours?"  "Huh?"  "What's

your name?"

"Gunther."  "That's a nice name."  "Don't like."  "You don't like your

name?"  "NO "What would you like to be called?"  "victor."  "That's a

nice name, too."  "Victor his favorite."  "Whose favorite?"  "His," She

realized that she was in a bad spot--in a strange and poorly lighted

place, out of sight and perhaps out of earshot of anyone who might be

inclined to help her, alone except for a badly retarded man big enough

to break her in half the way she might break a breadstick.

He took a step toward her.

She backed up.

He stopped.

She stopped, too, shaking, aware that she couldn't outrun him.

His legs were longer than hers, and he was probably more familiar with

the terrain than she was.

He made an odd sound behind the mask, it was like a dog sniffing busily

at a scent.

"I'm a government official," she said slowly, hoping he would

understand.  "A very important government official."

Gunther said nothing.

"Very important," Janet said nervously.  She tapped the VIP badge that

Max Freed had given her.  "Mr. Frederickson told me I could go

anywhere I wanted on the midway.  Do you know who he is?  Do you know

Mr.  Frederickson?"

Gunther didn't reply.  He just stood there, big as a truck, looking

down at her, his face hidden behind that mask, his arms dangling limply

at his sides.

"Mr. Frederickson owns this carnival," she said patiently.  "You must

know him.

He's probably .  . .

your boss.  He told me I could go wherever I anted."

Finally Gunther spoke again.  "Smell woman."

What?"

Smell woman.  Smell good.  Pretty."  "Oh, no," she said, starting to

sweat.

want pretty."

' "No, no," she said.  "No, Gunther.  That wouldn't be right.  That

would only get you in trouble."

He was sniffing again.  The mask seemed to interfere with the scent he

was trying to catch, and he reached up and pulled the Frankenstein

monster face off, revealing his own face.

When Janet saw what had been hidden by the mask, she stumbled backwards

on the track and screamed.

Before anyone could possibly have heard her cry, Gunther sprang at her

and cut the scream short with one blow of his big hand.

She fell.

He dropped on top of her.

Fifteen minutes before the fairground gates opened to the public,

Conrad made a final inspection tour of the funhouse.  He walked the

length of the track to be sure there were no obstructions on it, no

forgotten tools or misplaced pieces of lumber that might derail one of

the gondolas.

In the Hall of the Giant Spiders he found the dead woman.  She was on

the tracks, below one of the big, phony tarantulas.  She was sprawled

on , top of her bloody clothes--naked, bruised, slashed.  Her head had

been torn off, it rested, face up, a yard away from her body.

At first he thought Gunther had killed a carnival woman.  That was

unquestionably the worst thing that could happen.  The bodies of

outsiders could be disposed of in such a fashion as to direct the

police away from everyone connected with Big American Midway Shows.

But if one of the carnival's own was found raped and mutilated, the

police would be summoned onto the lot, and Gunther would interest them

sooner or later.

The carnies accepted the boy now, as they accepted all freaks, because

they didn't have any knowledge of his uncontrollable need to rape,

kill, and taste blood.  He hadn't always been this violent.  The

carnies knew he was different, but they didn't realize how dangerously

different he had become during the past three years, when he had

belatedly acquired a sex drive.  No one ever paid much attention to

Gunther, he was almost a shadow in their midst, a marginally perceived

presence.  But if a carny woman was killed, someone would take a much

closer look at Gunther than ever before, and there would be no way to

hide the truth.

After an initial rush of panic, Conrad saw that the dead woman was not

from the carnival.  He had never seen her face before.  There was still

a chance that he could save Gunther and himself.

Aware that he didn't have much time to conceal the evidence, Conrad

stepped around the bloody remains and hurried toward the end of the

Hall of the Giant Spiders.  Just before he reached the next turn in the

tracks, he climbed out of the gondola channel and stepped into a

tableau featuring t vo animated figures: a man and a man-sized spider

locked in mortal combat, unmoving now that there were no marks to

witness their struggle.  The battling man and tarantula were posed in

front of a jumbled pile of papier-mache boulders.  Conrad went around

behind the false rocks and knelt down.

The glow from the string of work lights above the tracks did not reach

back here.  He put a hand out in the darkness in front of him and felt

the rough board floor.  After a few seconds he located the ringbolt for

which he had been searching.  He pulled on the ring, lifting a

trapdoor, one of six that were scattered around the funhouse for

maintenance purposes.

He slid on his belly, backwards through the trap, feeling with his feet

for the rungs of a slanted ladder that he knew was there.  He found the

ladder and descended into pitch blackness.  Just after his head was

below the funhouse floor, his feet touched the plank flooring of the

bottom level, and he pushed away from the ladder and stood up

straight.

He reached into the darkness on his right side, passed his hand through

the air, found the light chain, and pulled it.  Two dozen bulbs came on

all over the basement, but the place was still shadowy.  He was in a

low-ceilinged room full of machinery, cogwheels, cables, belts,

pulleys, chain-driven mechanisms of odd design, these were the

mechanical guts of the funhouse.

l Turning away from the ladder, Conrad sidled between two machines and

stepped into a narrow aisle between banks of long, notched cables that

stretched across a series of large metal wheels.  He hurried to the

northwest corner of the chamber, where there was a workbench, a tool

cabinet, a metal rack full of spare parts, a pile of tarps, and a

couple of suits of coveralls.

Conrad quickly pulled off his barker's jacket, stepped out of his

trousers, and wriggled into a pair of coveralls.  He didn't want to

explain bloodstained clothes to Ghost.

He picked up one of the tarps and rushed back to the ladder.

Upstairs in the funhouse again, he returned to the dead woman on the

tracks.

He glanced at his wristwatch.  Today's show call was for four-thirty,

and that was precisely the time his watch showed him.  At this very

moment the fairground gates were swinging open, and the marks were

pouring through.

Within ten minutes the first of them would be buying tickets for the

funhouse.

Ghost wouldn't start the system until he'd gotten a final report on the

condition of the track.  He must be wondering what was taking Conrad so

long.

In two or three minutes, he would come looking.

Conrad spread the tarp out in the gondola channel.  He picked up the

still-warm body and dropped it in the middle of the sheet of canvas.

He grabbed the long, trailing hair and lifted the woman's severed

head--its mouth open, its eyes wide--and put that on the tarp as

well.

He added her shredded, bloody clothes to the pile, then a flashlight, a

small notebook, and a hard hat.  What sort of woman wore a hard hat?

What had she been doing in the funhouse?  He looked for a purse.  A

woman ought to be carrying a purse, but he couldn't find one.  At last,

panting from the exertion, he pulled the ends of the tarp together,

lifted it, and hefted it out of the gondola channel, onto the ledge

where the man and the spider were temporarily frozen in combat.

As he scrambled onto the ledge after the tarp, he heard someone call

his name.

"Conrad?"

With a sinking heart, Conrad looked back along the tracks, down the

gloomy gondola tunnel.

It was Ghost.  The albino was standing fifty feet away, at the far end

of the straightaway, just inside the entrance to the Hall of the Giant

Spiders.  He was only a pale silhouette, Conrad wasn't able to see the

albino's face.

And if I can't see him clearly, he can't see me any better, Conrad

thought, relieved.  He can't see the tarp, and even if he can see it,

he can't possibly know what's in it.

"Conrad?"

"Yeah.  Here."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, no.  Nothing."  i The gates are open.  We'll have marks swarming

all over us in a couple of minutes."

Conrad crouched beside the tarp, using his body to further block

Ghost's view of it.  "There was some junk on the track.  But it's okay

now.  I've taken care of it." "You need some help?"  Ghost asked,

starting toward him.

"No!  No, no.  I've got everything under control.  You better get out

front, throw the switch, and start selling tickets.  We're ready to

roll."

"Are you sure?"

UOf course I'm sure!"  Conrad snapped.  "Get moving.  I'll be out in a

few minutes."

Ghost hesitated for just a second, then turned and walked back the way

he had come.  I As soon as the albino was out of sight, Conrad dragged

the tarp behind the papier-mache boulders.  He had a bit of trouble

squeezing the grisly bundle through the trapdoor.  He leaned in after

it, lowered it the length of his arms, then let it drop the rest of the

way.  It landed at the foot of the ladder.  The tarp flopped open, and

the ghastly, disembodied head looked up at him, mouth stretched in a

silent scream.

Conrad went down the ladder again.  He closed the trapdoor above him.

He bent, gathered up the corners of the tarp, and dragged the corpse to

the maintenance area in the northwest corner of the funhouse

basement.

Overhead, the building was abruptly filled with eerie, tape-recorded

music as Ghost started switching on the system.

Grimacing, Conrad picked up the dead woman's gore-spattered clothes,

one piece at a time.  He checked the pockets of her jeans, jacket, and

blouse, looking for some scrap of identification.

He found her car keys right away.  Attached to the key ring was one of

those miniature license plates that were sold by some veterans'

organizations.  The number on it was the number on her real plates.

Even before he had finished his search of her clothes, he saw the Big

American Midway VIP badge pinned to her blouse.  That discovery rocked

him.

If she was someone with important carnival connections, Gunther's

secret could no longer be concealed.

Conrad found the sort of thing he was looking for in the last pocket he

turned out.  It was a laminated ID card that said she was Janet Leigh

Middlemeir, she worked for the county Office of Public Safety, she was

a safety engineer, whatever the hell that was, and she was accredited

by the State of Maryland.

A government official.  That was bad.  But not as bad as he had

feared.

At least she wasn't a sister or a cousin of one of the carnies.  She

didn't have any friends or relatives on the lot, no one who would be

looking out for her.

Evidently she had been on the midway strictly in a professional

capacity, making spot safety checks.  No one would have realized that

she had disappeared in the middle of one of those inspections because

no one would have been paying special attention to her.  There was a

good chance that Conrad could move the body and plant it far away from

the carnival, in such a way that the police would think she had been

killed after she quit working.

But he couldn't do anything more until it was dark, it would be a risky

bit of business even then.

Now he had to get out front, on the barker's platform, before Ghost

started wondering what had happened to him and came looking again.

Conrad took a coil of rope from one of the storage shelves and threaded

it through the eyelets around the edges of the tarpaulin.  Then he

pulled the rope like a drawstring and made a bag out of the tarp, with

the dead woman and her belongings inside.  He put the bag in the

corner.  He stripped out of the bloody coveralls and put them with the

bag.  His hands were bloody, and he wiped them off as best he could on

a couple of dirty rags that were on the workbench, then he put the rags

with his coveralls.  Finally he stacked the other tarps on top of all

that incriminating evidence, until there was nothing to see but a mound

of rumpled canvas.  No one would stumble across the dead woman, at

least not during the few hours she would be there.

Conrad put on his street clothes and left the funhouse by a rear

door.

Because the basement wasn't underground, the door opened onto the warm,

late-afternoon sunshine behind the building.

He walked to the nearest comfort station.  Because the gates had opened

only minutes ago, there weren't yet any marks in the restrooms.  Conrad

scrubbed his hands until they were as clean as a surgeon's.

He returned to the funhouse and walked around to the front of it.

The giant clown's face was laughing.  Elton, one of Conrad's employees,

was selling tickets.  Ghost was working at the boarding gate.  Gunther

was dressed like the Frankenstein monster and was growling

enthusiastically at the marks, he saw Conrad, and they stared at each

other for a moment, and although they were too far apart to see each

other's eyes, an understanding passed between them.

--I did it again.

--I know.  I found her.

--What now?

protect you.

Until night fell over the fairgrounds, Conrad worked on the pitchman's

platform, ballying the marks, drawing them in with his polished

spiel.

As soon as darkness came, he complained of a migraine headache and told

Ghost that he was going back to his motor home to lie down.

Instead, he went to the large parking area adjacent to the fairgrounds,

and he searched for Janet Middlemeir's car.  He had the miniature

license plate on her key ring to guide him, and even though there were

a great many cars to check through, he located her Dodge Omni in just

half an hour.

He drove the Omni onto the lot through a service gate, well aware that

he was leaving an evidential trail in other people's memories, but

there was nothing else he could do.  He parked in the shadows behind

the funhouse.

The service alley was deserted at the moment.  He hoped no one would

stroll past on the way to the comfort station.

He entered the funhouse basement through the rear door and carried out

the tarp that contained the corpse, while the marks screamed at

mechanical monsters in the dark tunnels overhead.  He put the gruesome

bundle in the Omni's trunk, and then he drove away from the

fairgrounds.

Although he had never been so bold before, he decided the best place to

leave the dead woman was in her own home.  If the police thought she

had been murdered in her own house by an intruder, they wouldn't be

likely to link the killing with the carnival.  It would look like just

another random act of senseless violence, the sort of thing the cops

saw all the time.

Two miles from the fairgrounds, in a supermarket parking lot, he looked

through the car, trying to find some indication of where Janet

Middlemeir lived.  He discovered her purse under the front seat, where

she had left it while making her inspection tour of the carnival.  He

went through the contents of the purse and found her address on her

driver's license.

With the help of a map that he picked up at an Erron station, Conrad

managed to find the pleasant apartment complex in which the woman

lived.

There were a number of long, two- and threestory, colonial-style

buildings angled through and around the park-like grounds.  Janet

Middlemeir's unit was on the ground floor, at the corner of one of the

buildings, and there was an empty parking slot behind her place, not

more than fifteen feet from her back door.

The apartment was dark, and Conrad hoped that she lived alone.

He hadn't found anything to indicate that she was married.  There were

no rings on her hands, nothing in her purse bore the word "Mrs."  Of

course she might have a girlfriend rooming with her, or there might be

a live-in boyfriend.  That could mean trouble.  Conrad was prepared to

kill anyone who walked in on him while he was disposing of the body.

He got out of the car, leaving the dead woman in the Omni's trunk, and

he let himself into her apartment.  A quick check of the closet in the

single bedroom was sufficient to convince him that Janet Middlemeir

lived by herself.

He stood at the kitchen window and watched as a car drove into the

parking area.  Two people got out of it and went into an apartment two

doors away.  At the same time a man left yet another apartment, got

into a Volkswagen Rabbit, and drove off.  When all was quiet again,

Conrad went out to the Omni, took the tarp from the trunk, and carried

it inside, hoping that no one was watching him from a window in one of

the other apartments.

He took the tarp into the small bathroom and opened it there.

Taking care to keep himself clean, he lifted the canvas and dumped the

contents into the bathtub.  There was still a great deal of blood

trapped in the torn body cavity, and he spread some of the viscous

stuff around, smearing it on the walls and the floor.

He took a macabre pride in the cleverness of his plan.  If he had left

the dead woman in the il bedroom, the police pathologists would have

realized at once that she hadn't been killed there, for they wouldn't

have found enough blood on the carpet to support that theory.  (Most of

her blood had been spilled in the funhouse, on the gondola tracks, and

had soaked into the boards there.) But when the cops found her here, in

the bathroom maybe they would think that the missing pints of blood had

simply gone down the bathtub drain.

Conrad remembered the VIP badge on her blouse.  He fished that out of

the tub and stuck it in his jacket pocket.

He also retrieved her hard hat, flashlight, and notebook, which were

spotted with blood.  He cleaned those off at the sink, then took them

out to the foyer closet and put them on the shelf above the coatrack.

He didn't know whether that was where she usually kept those items, but

the police wouldn't know either, and it seemed a likely enough place.

He folded the empty tarp.

In the kitchen, in the harsh glow of the fluorescent lights, he

inspected his hands carefully.  He had washed them in the bathroom,

when he had cleaned the articles that he'd taken to the foyer closet,

but there was still some blood caked under his fingernails.  He went to

the kitchen sink and washed his hands once more, vigorously.

He found the drawer in which the dead woman had kept her dish towels.

He wrapped one of the towels around his right hand and took another one

to the kitchen door.  He opened the door, which had three small,

decorative windows arranged in the center of it.  He looked out at the

parking lot, dnder the stark light of the sodium-vapor lamps, there was

no sound or motion.  He put the folded dish towel against the exterior

surface of one of the door's little panes, and then he struck the

interior surface with his wrapped right hand, trying to make as little

noise as possible.  The glass broke with only a dull crack, and he used

the folded towel to push the fragments inward onto the kitchen floor,

so that it would look as if the killer had smashed the pane from the

outside in the process of forcing entry.  Conrad quietly closed the

door, shook the dish towels to be certain there were no slivers of

glass clinging t o the fabric, refolded them, and returned them to the

drawer in which he-had found them.

He suddenly realized that threads from the dish towels might be snagged

on the shards of glass.  He stared down at the bright fragments.  He

didn't have time to examine each of them.  Likewise, he didn't have

time to study the trunk of her car with a magnifying glass to see if

there were spots of blood in it.

There were probably other loose ends, too.  He would just have to do

the best he could and trust in the protection of the dark god who

guided him.

He left Janet Middlemeir's car keys on the kitchen counter and picked

up the folded tarp.  As he stepped out of the apartment he wiped the

doorknobs with his handkerchief.  He didn't have an arrest record, his

fingerprints weren't on file anywhere, but nevertheless he was

cautious.

He walked away from the apartment complex.  The fairgrounds lay nine

miles to the west, but he wasn't going to cover the entire distance on

foot.  He intended to call a taxi to take him back to the carnival, but

he didn't want to risk summoning a ride from anywhere near the

Middlemeir apartment, the cabdriver would keep a record of the trip and

might even remember his passenger's face.  A mile from the woman's

place, he disposed of the tarp in a big trash bin behind another

apartment building.  After walking another mile, he came to a Holiday

Inn.  He stopped in the hotel bar, had two double Scotches, and then

took a cab to the fairgrounds.

In the taxi he thought back over what he had done from the moment he

had found the corpse on the gondola tracks, and as far as he could see,

he hadn't made any serious mistakes.  The coverup probably would

work.

Gunther would remain free--at least a while longer.

Conrad couldn't let them take Gunther from him.  Gunther was his son,

his very special child, his own blood.  But more than that, Gunther was

a gift from Hell, he was Conrad's instrument of revenge.  When Conrad

finally found Ellen's children, he would kidnap them, take them to an

isolated place where their screams couldn't be heard, and turn them

over to Gunther.  He would encourage Gunther to play with them in

cat-andmouse fashion.  He would urge Gunther to torture them for

several days, use them sexually again and again, no matter if they were

girls or boys, and then, only then, tear them apart.

Sitting in the darkness in the back of the taxi, Conrad smiled.

He seldom smiled these days.  He hadn't laughed in a long, long time.

He wasn't amused by those things that amused other people, only death,

destruction, cruelty, and damnation--the dark handiwork of the god of

evil, whom he worshipped--could bring a smile to his lips.  Ever since

he was twelve years old, he had been unable to obtain joy or

satisfaction from innocent, wholesome pleasures.

Not since that night.

Christmas Eve.

Forty years ago .  . .

The Straker family always decorated their house from top to bottom for

the Christmas season.  They had a tree as tall as the ceiling would

allow.  Every room was festooned with evergreen wreaths, nut wreaths,

candles, Nativity scenes, tinsel, Christmas cards received from friends

and relatives, and much more.

The year that Conrad turned twelve, his mother added a new piece to the

family's enormous collection of holiday decorations.  It was an

all-glass oil lantern, the flame was reflected and refracted within the

angled walls of the lamp, so that there were a hundred images of fire

instead of just one, and the eye was amazed and dazzled.

Young Conrad was fascinated by the lantern but wasn't permitted to

touch it because he might burn himself.  He knew he could handle the

lantern safely, but he couldn't convince his mother of that.  So when

everyone else was asleep, he crept downstairs, struck a match, lit the

lantern--and accidentally knocked it over.  Burning oil spilled across

the living room floor.  At first he was sure he could put the fire out

by beating it with a sofa cushion, but just a minute later, when he

realized his folly, it was too late.

He was the only one to escape unscathed.  His mother died in the

blaze.

His three sisters died.  His two brothers died.  Papa didn't die, but

he was scarred for life--his chest, his left arm, his neck, the left

side of his face.

The loss of his family left Papa with mental and emotional scars every

bit as horrendous as his physical injuries.  He wasn't able to accept

the idea that God, in whom Papa devoutly believed, would let such a

tragic accident happen on Christmas Eve, of all nights.  He refused to

believe it had been accidental.

He made up his mind that Conrad was evil and had set the fire on

purpose.

From that day until Conrad finally ran away several years later, his

life was hell.  Papa constantly badgered and accused him.  He was not

allowed to forget what he had done.  Papa reminded him of it a hundred

times a day.

Conrad breathed guilt and wallowed in self-hatred.

He had never been able to run away from his shame.  It came back to him

every night, in his dreams, even now that he was fifty-two years old.

His nightmares were full of fire and screams and the scarred, twisted

face-of his father.

When Ellen became pregnant, Conrad had been certain that, at last, God

was giving him a chance to redeem himself.  By raising a family, by

giving his own children a wonderful life filled with love !  and

happiness, perhaps he would be able to atone for the death of his

mother, his sisters, and his brothers.  Month by month, as Ellen became

heavier with child, Conrad became increasingly sure that the baby was

the beginning of his salvation.

. Then Victor was born.  Initially, for just a few hours, Conrad

thought that God was heaping more punishment on him.  Rather than give

him a chance to atone for his sins, God seemed to be rubbing his face

in them, telling him in no uncertain terms that he would never know

grace and spiritual comfort.

After the first bitter shock had passed, Conrad began to see his mutant

son in a different light.  Victor hadn't come from Heaven.  He had come

from Hell.  The baby was not a punishment from God, it was a great

blessing from Satan.  God had turned His back on Conrad Straker, but

Satan had sent him a baby as a gesture of welcome.

That might have seemed like tortuous reasoning to a normal man, but to

Conrad, desperate to find release from his guilt and shame, it made

perfect sense.  If the gates of Heaven were forever closed to him, he

might as well face the gates of Hell with eagerness and accept his

destiny without remorse.  He longed to belong somewhere, anywhere, even

in Hell.  If the god of light and beauty would not give him absolution,

then he would obtain it from the god of darkness and evil.

He read dozens of books about satanic religions, and he quickly

discovered that Hell was not the place of brimstone and suffering that

Christians said it was.

Hell was a place, said the satanists, where sinners were rewarded for

their sins, it was, in every respect, the place of their dreams.  Best

of all, in Hell there was no such thing as guilt.  In Hell there was no

shame.

As soon as he accepted Satan as his savior, Conrad knew that he had

made the right decision.  The nightly dreams of fire and pain did not

stop, however, he found a greater measure of peace and more contentment

in his daily life than he had known since before that fateful Christmas

Eve, and for the first time in memory, his life had meaning.  He was on

earth to do the devil's work, and if the devil could offer him

self-respect, he was prepared to labor long and hard for the cause of

the Antichrist.

When Ellen killed Victor, Conrad knew she was doing God's work, and he

was furious.  He almost killed her.  But he realized that he might be

imprisoned or executed for murdering her, and that would keep him from

fulfilling the role that Satan had written for him.  It occurred to him

that if he got married again, Satan might send him another sign,

another demonic child who would grow up to be the scourge of the

earth.

Conrad married Zena, and in time Zena bore him Gunther.  She was the

devil's Mary, but she didn't realize it.  Conrad never told her the

truth.

Conrad saw himself as Joseph to the Antichrist, father and protector.

Zena thought the child was just a freak, and although she didn't feel

comfortable with it, she accepted it with the equanimity with which

carnies always accepted freaks.

But Gunther wasn't merely a freak.

He was more than that.  Much more.

He was holy.

He was the coming.  The dark coming.

As the taxicab sped toward the fairgrounds, Conrad looked out at the

quiet, suburban houses and wondered if even one person out there

realized they were living in the last days of God's world.  He wondered

if even one of them sensed that Satan's child was on earth and had

recently reached his brutal maturity.

Gunther was just beginning his reign of terror.  A thousand years of

darkness would descend.

Oh, yes, Gunther was much more than just a freak.

If he were merely a freak, that would mean that Conrad was wrong in

everything that he had done during the past twenty-five years.  It

would mean more than that, it would mean that Conrad was not just wrong

but stark, raving mad.

So Gunther was more than a freak.  Gunther was that legendary dark

beast slouching toward Bethlehem.

Gunther was the destruction of the world.

Gunther was the herald of a new Dark Age.

Gunther was the Antichrist.

He had to be.  For Conrad's sake, he had to be.

ll FOR JoEY, THE week prior to the county fair crept by like a snail.

He was eager to become a carny and leave Royal City behind forever, but

it seemed to him that the time for his escape would come only after his

mother had murdered him in his bed.

There wasn't anyone around to help make the time pass more quickly.  He

avoided Mama, of course.  Daddy was, as always, preoccupied with his

law practice and his railroad models.  Tommy Culp, Joey's best friend

from school, was away on vacation with his family.

Even Amy was hardly ever around these days.  She worked at The Dive

every day but Sunday.  And during the past week she had been out every

night, dating some guy named Buzz.  Joey didn't know what Buzz's last

name was.  Maybe it was Saw.

Joey hadn't intended to go to the fairgrounds until Saturday, the last

day, so that no one would figure out where he had gone until the

carnival was far, far away in another state.  But by the time Monday,

June 30, rolled around, he was so keyed up that he couldn't keep his

resolve.  He told his mother he was going to the library, but he got on

his bicycle and pedaled two miles to the county fairgrounds.  He still

wasn't going to run away from home until Saturday.  But Monday was the

day that the carnival set up, and he figured he ought to learn how that

was done if he was ever going to be a carny himself.

For two hours he wandered around the midway, keeping out from underfoot

but getting a good look at everything, fascinated by the speed with

which the Ferris wheel and the other rides took shape.  A couple of

carnies, big men with lots of muscles and lots of funny tattoos, kidded

him, and he joked right back at them, and everyone he met seemed to be

just swell.

By the time he reached the site on which the funhouse was being

erected, they were hoisting a giant clown's face to the top of the

structure.

One of the workers was a man in a Frankenstein mask, and that made Joey

giggle.  One of the others was an albino, he glanced at Joey, pinning

him with colorless, rainwater eyes as cold as winter windows.

Those eyes were the first things in the carnival that Joey didn't

like.

They seemed to look straight through him, and he half-remembered an old

story about a woman whose eyes turned men to stone.

He shivered, turned away from the albino, and walked toward a place in

the middle of the midway, where they were putting up the Octopus, one

of his favorite rides.  He had taken only a few steps when someone

called to him.

"Hey, there!"

He kept walking, even though he knew it was himself the man was calling

to.

"Hey, son!  Wait a minute."

Sighing, expecting to be thrown off the midway, Joey looked back and

saw a man jumping down from the front platform of the funhouse.  The

stranger was tall and lean, maybe ten years older than Joey's father.

He had coal-black hair, except at the temples, where it was pure

white.

His eyes were so blue that they reminded Joey of the gas flames on the

kitchen stove at home.

As the man approached he said, "You aren't with the carnival, are you,

son?"

"No," Joey admitted glumly.  "But I'm not getting in anyone's way.

I'm really not.  Someday .  . . maybe .  . . I'd like to work in the

carnival.

I just want to see how things are done.  If you'll let me stay and

watch for a while--" "Whoa, whoa," the stranger said.  He stopped in

front of the boy and stooped down.  "You think I'm going to throw you

out?"

"Aren't you?"

"My heavens, no!"

"Oh," Joey said.

"I could tell you weren't just a gawker," the man said.  "I could see

you were a young man with a genuine interest in the carnival way of

life."

"You could?"

"Oh, yes.  It just shines through," the stranger said.

"Do you think I could be .  . . a carny someday?"  Joey asked.

You?  Oh, sure.  You've got the stuff," the stranger said.  "You could

be a carny or just about anything you wanted.  That's why I called out

to you.  I could see the right stuff shining in you.  I sure could.

Even from up there on the platform."  Well .  . . gee," Joey said,

embarrassed.

"Here," the stranger said.  "Let me give you these."  He reached into a

pocket and withdrew two rectangles of thin, pink cardboard.

"What are those?"  Joey asked.

"Two free passes to the fairgrounds."  "You're kidding."

"Do I look like I'm kidding?"  Why give them to me?"

"I told you," the stranger said.  "You have the right stuff.  As the

carnies say, you're with it and for it.  Whenever I see someone who's

with it and for it, someone who's a carny at heart, I always give them

a couple of free passes.  Come any night and bring a friend.  Or maybe

your brother.

Do you have a brother?"

No," Joey said.

"A sister?"  "Yeah."

"What's her name?"

"Amy."  "What's your name?"

"Joey."

"Joey what?"

"Joey Alan Harper."

"My name's Conrad.  I'll have to sign the back of the passes."  He

produced a ballpoint pen from another pocket and signed his two names

with a flourish that Joey admired.  Then he handed over the free

passes.

"Thanks a lot," Joey said, beaming.  "This is terrific!"

"Enjoy yourself," the stranger said, grinning.  He had very white

teeth.  "Maybe someday you will be a carny, and you'll hand out free

passes to people who are obviously with it and for it."

"Uh .  . . how old do you have to be?"  Joey asked.

"To be a carny?"

"Yeah."

"Any age, just about."

"Could a kid join up if he was just ten?"

"He could easy enough, if he was an orphan," Conrad said.  "Or if his

parents just didn't care about him at all.  But if he had a family who

gave a hoot, they'd come looking for him, and they'd take him home."

"Wouldn't you .  . . you carnival people .  . . wouldn't you hide the

kid?"  Joey asked.  "If the worst thing in the world for him was to be

taken home, wouldn't you hide him when his folks came looking?"

"Oh, couldn't do that," the man said.  "Against the law.  But if nobody

cared about him, if nobody wanted him, the carnival would take him

in.

It always has, and it always will.  What about you?  I'll bet your

folks care about you a lot."  "Not a lot," Joey said.

"Sure.  I'll bet they care a whole bunch.  What about your mother?"

"No," Joey said.

"Oh, I'll bet she cares a lot.  I'll bet she's really proud of a

handsome, intelligent boy like you."

Joey blushed.

aDo you get your good looks from your mother?"  Conrad asked.

"Well .  . . yeah .  . . I look more like her than like my dad."

"Those dark eyes, that dark hair?"

"Yeah," Joey said.  aLike Mama's."  "You know," Conrad said, "I knew

someone once who looked quite a bit like you."  "Who?"  Joey asked.

"A very nice lady."  "I don't look like a lady!"  Joey said.

"No, no," Conrad said quickly.  "Of course you don't.  But you have her

dark eyes and hair.  And there's something in the lines of your face

.

. . You know, it's just possible she could have a boy your age now.

Yes.  Yes, it's quite possible.  Wouldn't that be something--if you

were the son of my long-lost friend?"  He leaned closer to Joey.  The

whites of his eyes were yellowish.

There was dandruff on his shoulders.  A single breadcrumb was stuck in

his mustache.  His voice became even heartier than before when he said,

"What is your mother's name?"

Suddenly Joey saw something in the stranger's eyes that he liked even

less than what he had seen in the albino's eyes.  He stared into those

two crystalline blue dots, and it seemed to him that the man's

friendliness was an act.  Like on that TV show, "The Rockford Files,"

the way Jim Rockford, the private detective, could be so charming and

so friendly, but he was just putting it on in order to get some vital

information out of a stranger without the stranger knowing that he was

being pumped.  All of a sudden Joey felt that this guy was putting on

the charm just like Jim Rockford did.

Joey felt as if he were being pumped for information.  Except that

under his phony friendliness, Jim Rockford really was a nice guy.  But

underneath Conrad's smile, there wasn't a nice guy at all.  Deep down

in his blue eyes there wasn't anything warm or friendly, there was

just.  . . darkness.

"Joey?"

"Huh?"

"I asked you what your mother's name is."

"Leon"," Joey lied, without really understanding why he must not tell

the truth.  He sensed that telling the truth right now would be the

worst thing he could ever do in his whole life.  Leon" was Tommy Culp's

mother.

Conrad stared hard at him.

Joey wanted to look away but couldn't.  "Leon"?"  Conrad asked.

"Yeah."  "Well .  . . maybe my friend changed her name.  She never did

like the one she was born with.  Your mother might still be her.  About

how old would you say your mother is?"

Twenty-nine," Joey said quickly, remembering bhat Tommy Culp's mother

had recently had a twenty-ninth birthday party at which, according to

Tommy, all the guests had gotten pissed.

"Twenty-nine?"  Conrad asked.  "You're sure?"

"I know exactly," Joey said, "because Mama's ,birthday is one day

before my sister's, so we always get two parties close together every

year.

This last time my sister was eight, and my mother was ienty-nine."

He was surprised that he could lie o easily and smoothly.  Usually he

was a lousy liar, he couldn't fool anyone.  But now he was different.

Now it was almost as if someone older and wiser were speaking through

him.

He didn't know why he was so positive that he had to lie to this man.

Mama couldn't be the woman that Conrad was looking for.  Mama wouldn't

ever have been friends with a carny, she thought they were all dirty

and crooked.  Yet Joey lied to Conrad, and he had the feeling that

someone else was guiding his tongue, someone who was looking out for

him, someone like .  . .

God.  Of course that was a dumb thought.  To please God, you always had

to tell the truth.  Why would God take control of you just to make you

lie?

The carny's blue eyes softened, and the tension went out of his voice

when Joey said his mother was twenty-nine.  "Well," the carny said, "I

guess your mother couldn't be my old friend.  The woman I'm thinking of

would have to be around forty-five."

They looked at each other for a moment, the boy just standing there and

the man stooping down, and finally Joey said, "Well .

. . thanks a lot for the free passes."  "Sure, sure," the man said,

standing up, obviously no longer the least bit interested in the boy.

"Enjoy them, son."  He turned and walked back to the funhouse.

Joey went across the midway to watch the workers erect the Octopus.

Later, the encounter with the blue-eyed carny seemed almost like a

dream.  The two pink passes--with the name Conrad Straker neatly

written on the backs of them, below the printed words, "this pass

authorized by"--were the only things that kept the incident real and

solid in Joey's memory.  He remembered being afraid of the stranger and

lying to him, but he couldn't recapture the gut feeling that had made

him so certain that lies were necessary, and he felt somewhat ashamed

of himself for not telling the truth.

That night, at six-thirty, Buzz Klemmet picked up Amy at the Harper

house.  He was a ruggedly handsome guy with a lot of hair, muscles, a

cocky attitude, and a carefully cultivated toughguy image.  Mama had

met him once, the second night he'd come for Amy, and she hadn't liked

him one bit.  In keeping with her statement that she no longer cared

what happened to Amy, Mama hadn't said a word for or against Buzz, but

Amy could see the loathing in her mother's eyes.

Tonight, Mama stayed in the kitchen and didn't even bother to come out

to glare at Buzz.

Richie and Liz were already in the backseat of Buzz's vintage GTO

convertible.

The roof was down, and as soon as Buzz and Amy got in, Richie said,

"Hey, put the top up so we can pass a joint around on the way to the

fairgrounds without everyone seeing us."  "Good old Royal City, Ohio,"

Liz said.  "Still frozen in the Middle Ages.  Would you believe there

are some places in this country where you can smoke grass right out in

the open without getting thrown in jail?"

Buzz put up the top, but he said, "Hold the joint until after we've

stopped for gas."

Half a mile from the Harper house, they stopped at a Union 76

station.

Buzz got out to check the oil, and Richie got out to pump the gas.

As soon as Liz and Amy were alone in the car, Liz leaned forward from

the backseat and said, "Buzz thinks you're the hottest thing he's ever

seen.

Oh, sure," Amy said.

"No, he really does."  "He tell you that?"

Yeah."

aWe haven't done anything," Amy said.

"That's one reason he thinks you're so hot.  He's such a dreamboat that

he's used to girls just falling on their backs for him.  But you tease

him along, let him feel a little, and then stop him right on the

brink.

He's not used to that.  It's different for him.  He's got the idea that

when you finally give in you'll be absolutely wild."  "If I give in,"

Amy said.

"You'll give in," Liz said confidently.  "You still don't want to admit

it, but you're just like me."

Maybe.

"You've been dating him every night for a week, and each night you let

him get a little farther than the night before," Liz said.  "You're

coming out of your shell an inch at a time."  aBuzz told you exactly

how far I've let him go?"  Amy asked.

"Yep," iz said, grinning.

"Jeer," Amy said.  "He's got such class."  "Oh, hell," Liz said, "he

wasn't tattling on you.  It's not like he told a stranger.  I'm your

best friend.  And Buzz and I go way, way back.

I used to screw around with him, and we're still the best of buddies.

Listen, kid, when we leave the carnival tonight, let's go back to my

house.  My folks are still away.  You and Buzz can use their bedroom.

Stop teasing the guy.

Give him a break.  Give yourself a break.  You want the old salami just

as much as I do."

Buzz and Richie got back in the car, and Richie fired up a joint.

While Buzz drove to the fairgrounds, they passed around the dope, and

each of them took a couple of deep drags, holding the smoke in their

lungs as long as they could.

In the parking lot at the fairgrounds, they lit another joint and sat

in the car until they had done that one, too.

By the time they reached the ticket booth, Amy was feeling warm, airy,

and a bit giggly.  As she drifted onto the carnival lot, into that roar

of sound and whirlpool of motion, she had the peculiar feeling that

tonight was going to be one of the most important nights of her life.

Tonight she would make decisions about herself, tonight she would

either accept the role in life that both Liz and Mama believed she was

suited for, or she would make up her mind to be the good, responsible

person that she had always wanted to be.  She was standing on a thin

line, and it was time to jump one way or the other, time to make up her

mind about herself.  She didn't know how she knew that, but she did

know it.  The feeling was unshakable.  At first it sobered her and made

her a little bit afraid, but then Liz made a very funny crack about a

fat woman who was walking up the midway in front of them, and Amy

laughed, and the grass had its effect, and the laugh turned into an

uncontrollable giggle, and she was floating again.

T H R E E THE

AMY DISCOVERED THAT Liz was right about a little grass making the

thrill rides even more fun than usual.  They rode the Octopus, the

Tilt-a-Whirl, the Dive Bomber, the Whip, the Loop-de-Loop, the

Colossus, and others.  The ramps seemed higher than those on thrill

rides that Amy had ridden in - previous carnivals, the dips seemed

deeper, the i whipping action, the spinning, soaring, diving, twisting,

and turning all seemed wilder and faster than ever before.  Amy held

onto Buzz and screamed with delight and with a quiver of genuine terror

as well.  Buzz pulled her close, he used her fear and the sudden

lurchings of the rides as excuses to cop some quick, cheap feels.

Like Liz, Amy was wearing shorts, a T-shirt, but no bra.  Buzz couldn't

resist touching her breasts and her long, bare, nicely tanned legs.

Each time she got off a ride, Amy was disoriented for a minute or two

and had to cling to Buzz, and he liked that, and she liked it, too,

because Buzz had such big, hard, muscular arms and shoulders.

Only forty minutes after they arrived at the fairgrounds, they slipped

off the midway, between a couple of sideshows, to the back lot, where

rows of carnival trucks were parked.  They went around behind the

trucks, into a deserted culde-sac that ended at the fairgrounds'

ivy-covered fence.  They stood in shadow-dappled, summerevening

sunlight and passed around a third joint that Liz took out of her

purse, they sucked in the sweet smoke, held it down as long as they

possibly could, then let it out with urgent gasps of pleasure.

"This one's a little different," Richie said as the hand-rolled

cigarette made its second circle around their huddle.

"This one what?"  Amy asked.

"This joint," Richie said.

'eah," Liz said.  "It's spiced up."  "With what?"  Buzz asked.

"Trust me."

"Angel dust?"  Richie asked.

"Trust me," Liz said.

"Hey," Buzz said, "I'm not sure I like smoking something that I don't

know what it is."

"Trust me," Liz said.

"I trust you about as far as I can throw you," Buzz said.

"Doesn't matter," Liz said.  "We've almost finished the joint

anyway."

Buzz was holding the stub.  He hesitated, then said, "Oh, hell, why not

live dangerously."  He took one last drag on it.

Richie started to kiss Liz on the neck, and Buzz kissed Amy, and

without quite realizing how it happened, Amy found herself pinned

against the side of one of the trucks, and Buzz was running his hands

up and down her body, kissing her hard, pushing his tongue into her

mouth, and then he tugged her T-shirt out of her shorts and got one

hand under it and squeezed her bare breasts, thumbed her nipples, and

she moaned softly, concerned that someone might walk around behind the

trucks and see them, but unable to express her concern, responding even

to Buzz's crude caresses.

Suddenly Liz said, "Enough, you guys.  Save it for later.  I'm sure as

hell not going to lie down right here, in broad daylight, and take it

in the dirt."  "The dirt is the best place," Richie said.

"Yeah," Buzz said.  "Let's do it in the dirt."  "It's the natural

thing," Richie said.

"Yeah," Buzz said.

"All the animals do it in the dirt," Richie said.

"Yeah," Buzz said.  "Let's be natural, just hang loose and be real

natural."  "Stifle yourselves," Liz said.  "There's a lot more carnival

to see.

Come on.

Let's go."

Amy tucked in her T-shirt, and Buzz gave her one more wet kiss.

Back on the midway, Amy thought the rides seemed to be spinning faster

than before.  All the colors were more vivid, too.  The dozens of

different sources of music seemed louder than they had been ten minutes

ago, and each song possessed a subtleness of melody of which she hadn't

been previously aware.

I'm not totally in control of myself, Amy thought worriedly, dizzily.

I'm not out of control yet, but I'm liable to wind up that way.  I've

got to be careful.  Sensible.  Watch out for that dope.  That damned,

spiced-up dope.  If I don't watch myself, I'm going to end up in a

bedroom at Liz's house, with Buzz on top of me, whether that's what I

really want or not.  And I don't think that's what I want.  I don't

want to be the kind of person Liz and Mama say I am.  I don't.  Do I?

They rode the Loop-de-Loop again.

Amy clung to Buzz.

After spending Monday morning and part of the afternoon at the

fairgrounds, watching the carnies set up their equipment, Joey hadn't

intended to return to the carnival until Saturday night, when he would

run away forever.  But Monday evening he changed his mind.

Actually, his mother changed it for him.

He was sitting in the family room, watching television, drinking Pepsi,

when he accidentally knocked over his glass.  The soda splashed on his

chair and spilled all over the carpet.  He got a bunch of paper towels

from the kitchen and cleaned up the mess as best he could, and he was

sure that he hadn't permanently stained either the carpet or the

chair's upholstery.

In spite of the fact that the damage wasn't serious, Mama was furious

when she walked in and saw him with handfuls of Pepsi-soaked paper _ towels

Although it was only seven-thirty, she was half drunk

already.

She grabbed him and shook him and told him that he behaved like a

little animal, and she sent him to bed more than two hours early.

He felt miserable.  He couldn't even turn to Amy for sympathy because

she was out somewhere, on another date with Buzz.  Joey didn't know

where she and Buzz had gone, and even if he did he v couldn't run after

her, whimpering about how Mama had shaken and scared him.

In his room Joey sprawled on the bed for a while, crying, utterly

disconsolate, angered by the injustice of it all--and then he thought

of the two pink passes that the carny had given him earlier in the

day.

Two passes.

He would use one to get into the fairgrounds on Saturday evening, when

he would try to join up with the carnies by telling them that he was an

orphan and had nowhere else to go.  But that left one pass, and if he

didn't use it between now and Saturday, it would only go to waste.

He sat up on the edge of the bed and thought about it for a few

minutes, and he decided that he could sneak off to the carnival, have a

lot of fun, and sneak back into the house without his mother knowing

that he'd been gone.  He got up and pulled the drapes shut, so that

hardly any of the fading, summer-evening sunlight reached into the

room.  He took a spare blanket and an extra pillow from his closet and

used those to form a dummy under the covers.  He switched on his dim

night-light, stepped back from the bed, and studied his handiwork

critically.

Even with the splinters of light showing at the edges of the drapes, he

thought the dummy would pass Mama's inspection.  Usually she didn't

come to his room until eleven o'clock at the very earliest, and if she

waited that long tonight, until well after dark, when the room would be

illuminated by only the night-light, the trick would surely work, she

would be fooled by the dummy.

The hard part was going to be getting out of the house without drawing

her attention.  He took a few dollar bills from his thirty-two-dollar

kitty and tucked the money into a pocket of his jeans.  He also

pocketed one of the carnival passes and stuck the other one under the

glassjar bank that stood on his desk.  He carefully opened his bedroom

door, looked both ways along the upstairs hall, stepped out of the

room, and closed the door behind him.  He crept to the stairs and began

the long, tense journey down toward the first floor.

Amy, Liz, Buzz, and Richie stopped in front of a sideshow that

advertised a magician called Marco the Magnificent.  The come-on was a

large poster that showed a screaming woman being decapitated by a

guillotine, while a grinning magician stood with his hand on the

executioner's lever.

"I love magicians," Amy said.

"I love anyone I can get my hands on," Liz said, giggling.

My Uncle Arnold used to be a stage magician," Richie said, pushing his

glasses up on his nose to take a closer look at Marco's lurid poster.

"Did he make stuff disappear and everythingn Buzz asked.

Liz said, "He was so bad that he made audiences disappear."

Amy was giddy from the spiced-up pot that she had smoked, and Liz's

little joke seemed hysterically funny.  She laughed, and her laughter

infected the others.

"No, now, really, honestly," Buzz said when they finally got control of

themselves.  "Did your Uncle Arnold make his living that way?  It

wasn't just a hobby or something" "No hobby," Richie said.  "Uncle

Arnold was the real thing.  He called himself the Amazing Arnoldo.  But

I guess he didn't make much of a living at it, and he got to hate it

after a while.  He's been selling insurance for the past twenty years."

"I think being a magician would be neat," Amy said.  "Why did your

uncle hate it?"  "Well," Richie said, "every successful magician has to

have a trick that's all his own, a special illusion that makes him

stand out in a crowd of other magicians.  Uncle Arnold had this gimmick

where he made twelve white doves appear, one after the other, out of

thin air, in bursts of flame.

The audience would applaud politely when the first dove appeared, and

then they'd gasp when the second and third ones popped up, and by the

time half a dozen birds had materialized, the audience was cheering.

When the entire dozen had been brought out of their hiding places in my

uncle's clothes, each presented in a little puff of fire, you can

imagine the ovation the audience gave him." "I don't understand," Buzz

said, frowning.

'eah," Amy said.  "If your uncle was so great, why'd he quit and start

selling insurance?"  "Sometimes," Richie said, "not often, but about

once in every thirty or forty performances, one of the doves would

catch fire and burn up alive, right there on stage.  It hummed out the

audience, and they booed Uncle Arnold."

Liz laughed, and Amy laughed, too, and Liz did an imitation of a

burning dove trying to slap the flames off its wings, and Amy knew that

it wasn't really funny, knew that it was a horrible thing to happen to

the poor birds, and she knew she shouldn't laugh, but she couldn't help

herself, because it seemed like the most hilarious story she had ever

heard.

"It wasn't very funny to Uncle Arnold," Richie said between whoops of

laughter.  aLike I said, it didn't happen often, but he never knew when

it was going to happen, so he was always tense.  The tension gave him

an ulcer.  And even when the birds didn't burn up, they shit in his

suit pockets."

They all laughed again, with renewed vigor, holding onto each other.

People passing them on the midway gave them strange looks, which only

made them laugh even harder.

Richie treated everyone to tickets for Marco's next show.

The ground inside the magician's tent was covered with sawdust, and the

air was musty.  Brightly colored plastic flags and posters of Marco

decorated the dimly lighted, canvas-walled space.

Amy, Liz, Buzz, and Richie joined two dozen spectators who were crowded

around a small, raised stage at one end of the tent.

A moment later Marco appeared in a cloud of blue smoke, taking a bow as

a tape-recorded fanfare filled the room.  It was painfully obvious that

he had merely stepped through a slit in the rear wall of the tent,

using the smoke for cover.  In fact he hadn't even stepped onto the

stage, he had stumbled.

Liz glanced at Amy.  They both giggled.

"Thank God he's a magician and not a tightrope walker," Richie

whispered.

Amy felt as if she were standing on balloons, balancing precariously,

about to perform some splendid magic act of her own.

What had Liz added to that joint?

Marco's appearance was as pathetic as his entrance.  He was a

middle-aged man with bloodshot eyes, and he was heavily made up to

resemble the Devil.  His lips were red, his face was frost-pale, his

eyes were outlined with thick black mascara, and his widow's peak was

also accentuated with mascara.  He wore a shabby tuxedo and a pair of

white gloves that were marred by several large yellow stains.

"He shouldn't wear those gloves when he jerks off," Liz whispered.

They all laughed.

"Gross," Richie said.

"He looks gross enough to do it," Buzz whispered.

Marco glanced nervously at them, unable to hear what they were

saying.

He smiled at them and doffed his top hat in a feeble attempt to win

their silent attention.

"Whatever you do," Liz told the others, "for God's sake don't let him

shake hands with you ." They all laughed again.

A few of the other spectators were glancing at Amy, some just curious,

some disapproving, but she didn't care what they thought.  She was

having so much fun.

Marco decided to ignore them, and he picked up a deck of cards that was

on the small table in the center of the stage.  He shuffled the cards

and wrapped them in a silk handkerchief, with only one edge of the deck

exposed.

He placed that bundle in a clear glass goblet, every movement performed

with a flourish.  When he stepped back and pointed at the goblet, cards

began to rise individually from the silk-swathed deck: first the ace of

diamonds .  . . then the ace of clubs .  . . the ace of hearts .  . .

and finally, mistakenly, the jack of diamonds.  Marco looked

embarrassed, quickly swept the cards away, and went on to his next

trick.

"Boy, does he stink," Buzz said softly.

"It's those gloves you smell," Liz said.

aRichie, is this guy really your Uncle Arnold?" Amy asked.

Marco blew up a balloon and knotted it.  When he touched a burning

cigarette to the balloon, the sphere popped noisily, and a live dove

appeared in the heart of the explosion.  It was a better illuion than

the card trick, but Amy still saw the bird dart out from beneath the

magician's tuxedo jacket.

Marco performed two more tricks that drew only half-hearted applause

from the audience, and then Liz said, "Are you guys about ready to

8put?" "Not yet," Richie said.

This is a fuckin' bore," Liz said.

"I want to see the finale," Richie said.  "The guillotine."  "What

guillotine?" Buzz asked.

"The one on the poster outside," Richie said.  "He chops off some

broad's head."  "That's the only way he's ever going to get head from a

woman," Liz said, giggling.

Marco spoke for the first time.  His voice was surprisingly rich and

commanding.  "And now, for those of you who are connoisseurs of the

bizarre, the macabre, the gruesome, the grotesque .  . . I will close

my show with what I fondly refer to as The Impaler."

" "What about the guillotine?"  Richie said Buzz.

"Asshole," Liz said.  "That's just a come-on."

Marco rolled a large upright box to the center of the stage.  It was a

foot or so shorter than a coffin, but otherwise it looked exactly like

the centerpiece of a funeral.

"I hear you mumbling out there," Marco said.  "I hear you saying .

. . the guillotine .  . . the guillotine.  Unfortunately, that device

belonged to my predecessor.  Both it and he are being held by the

police due to an unfortunate accident.  The last lady who assisted him

lost her head and caused a messy scene."

The audience laughed uneasily.

"What a cornball act," Liz said.  "Jesus." But on the contrary, to Amy,

Marco appeared to have undergone an eerie metamorphosis.  He was not

shabby and silly-looking now, as he had been when he first stumbled

onto the platform.  His crude makeup no longer seemed like a joke,

second by second he looked increasingly demonic, and there was a new,

terrifying, evil gleam in his eyes.  His nervous smile had become a

knowing, wicked leer.  When his eyes met Amy's, she felt as if she were

staring at twin windows that offered a glimpse of Hell, and she was

cold all the way through to the marrow.

Don't be ridiculous, Amy told herself, shuddering.  Marco the

Magnificent hasn't changed.  It's only my perception of him that's been

altered.  I'm having a mild hallucination.  Tripping.  Flying.  It's

that damned joint.

The drugs.

What spice did Liz add to that grass?

Marco held up a two-foot-long, pointed wooden stake.  "Ladies and

gentlemen, I promise you'll enjoy this illusion more than you would

have enjoyed the guillotine.  It's really much, much better."  He

grinned, and there was something dark and unwholesome in that

Cheshire-cat expression.  I need a volunteer from the audience.  A

young woman." His malevolent eyes slowly swept the faces below him.  He

raised one hand and pointed ominously at each woman, one after the

other, and for a breathtaking moment he seemed to stop at Amy, then he

moved his hand again and stopped even longer at Liz, but finally he

chose an attractive redhead.

"Oh, no," the redhead told him.  "I couldn't.  Not me." "Of course you

can," Marco said.  "Come on, folks, let's give this charming, brave

young lady a hand." The audience applauded on cue, and the woman

reluctantly walked up the steps to the stage.

Marco took hold of her arm as she reached the platform.  "What's your

name?"

"Jenny," she said, smiling shyly at the audience.

"You're not afraid, are you, Jenny?"

"Yes," she said, blushing.

Marco grinned.  "Smart girl!n He escorted her to the coffin.  It was

standing on end, tilted back slightly on large metal braces.  Marco

pulled open the lid, which was hinged at the left side.  "Please step

into the box, denny.  I promise that you will feel absolutely no pain

whatsoever." With the magician's help, the redhead stepped backwards

into the box, facing the audience.  Her

1.: neck fit into a U-shaped cutout in the top of the box.  Because the

coffin was short, her head stuck out of it when Marco closed the lid.

"Comfortable?"  Marco asked.

"No," the woman said nervously.

"Good," Marco said.  He grinned at the audience, then secured the front

of the box with a large padlock.

A premonition of disaster, a feeling that she was in the presence of

Death, seized Amy in its I invisible, icy hands.  I Just the damned

drugs, she told herself.

Marco the Magnificent spoke to the audience.

aIn the fifteenth century, Vlad the Fifth of Wallachia, known as Vlad

the Impaler to his frightened subjects, tortured tens of thousands of

male and female prisoners, mostly foreign invaders.  Once, the Turkish

army turned back from a planned invasion when it encountered a field

where thousands of men were propped on spikes that had been driven all

the way through their bodies by Vlad's hand-picked death squads.

Tiring of his name, Vlad selected a new one, that of his father, an

equally nasty man known as Dracul, meaning the Devil."  Adding the

letter A,' he became Dracula, the son of the Devil.  And so, my

friends, are legends born."  !

"Cornball," Liz said again.  jr But Amy was mesmerized by the strange,

new, and dangerous creature that appeared (at least to her eyes) to

have taken possession of Marco's .

body.  The bottomless, all-knowing, evil eyes of --~ the magician met

Amy's eyes again and seemed out in horror.

to see all the way through her before they looked away.

Marco displayed the two-foot-long, pointed wooden stake once more.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present .  . . The Impaler."

" "About fuckin' time," Liz said.

Marco picked up a small but heavy mallet.  "If you will look at the

front of the box, you will see that a small hole has been drilled

through the lid."

Amy saw the hole.  A bright red heart had been painted around it.

"The hole lies directly over the volunteer's heart," Marco said.

He licked his lips, turned, and carefully inserted the stake into the

hole.  aDo you feel the point of the stake, Jenny?" She giggled

nervously.  es."  "Good," the magician said.  "Remember .  . . there

will be no pain at all."

Holding the stake in his left hand, he raised the mallet in his

right.

"Absolute silence!  Those of you who are squeamish, avert your eyes.

She will feel no pain .  . . but that does not mean there will be no

blood!"

"Huh?" Jenny said.  "Hey.  wait.  I--" "Silence!"  Marco shouted, and

he swung the mallet hard against the stake.

No!  Amy thought.

With a sickening, wet, tearing sound, the stake sank deep into the

woman's chest.

Jenny screamed, and blood gushed from her twisted mouth.

The audience "sped.  A couDle of people cried

Jenny's heaa slumped to one side.  Her tongue lolled.  Her eyes stared

sightlessly over the heads of the people in the tent.

Death miraculously transformed the face of the volunteer.  The red hair

turned to blond.  The eyes changed from green to blue.  The face was no

longer that of Jenny, the woman who had walked onto the stage from the

audience.

It was now Liz Duncan's face.  Every plane, every hollow, every

feature, every detail belonged to Liz.  It wasn't just a trick of the

light and shadows.

It was Liz in that coffin.  It was Liz who had been impaled.  It was

Liz who was dead, blood still oozing from between her ripe lips.

Having trouble drawing her breath, Amy looked at the girl beside her

and was amazed to see that her friend was still there.  Liz was in the

audience--yet somehow she was also on the stage, in the box, dead.

Confused, disoriented, Amy said, aBut it's you.  It's you .  . . up

there." Liz-in-the-audience said, "What?" Liz-in-the-coffin stared into

eternity and drooled blood.

Liz-in-the-audience said, "Amy?  Are you all right?" 'Liz is going to

die, Amy thought.  Soon.  This is some sort of premonition .  . .

clairvoyance .  . . whatever you call it.  Could that be true?

Could it?  Will Liz be killed?  Soon?  Tonight?

Marco's look of shock and horror, which he had assumed the instant that

blood began to spurt from his volunteer's mouth, now melted into a

grin.  The magician snapped his fingers, and the woman in the box

suddenly came to life, the pain vanished from her face, she smiled

dazzlingly-- and she no longer resembled Liz Duncan.

She never did look like Liz, Amy thought.  It was just me.  The

drugs.

Hallucinations.  It wasn't a premonition, Liz isn't going to die

soon.

God, am I out of it!

The audience sighed with relief as Marco pulled the stake out of the

hole in the lid of the box.  The magician had ceased to look

sinister.

He was the same shabby, pudgy, inept man who had stumbled through the

canvas flap ten or fifteen minutes ago.  The omniscient, evil

personality no longer looked out through Marco's eyes, his resemblance

to the Devil was gone.

Imagination, Amy told herself.  Delusions.  It meant nothing.

Nothing at all.

Liz isn't about to die.  None of us is going to die.  I've got to get

hold of myself.

Marco helped Jenny out of the box and introduced her to the audience.

She was his daughter.

"Another cheap trick," Liz said, disgusted.

As she left Marco's tent, Amy sensed the disappointment in her three

companions.  It was almost as if they had hoped that a woman really

would be pierced through the heart or have her head chopped off by a

guillotine.  The spice that Liz had added to the last joint of grass

was something extremely powerful, for already it was making them

fidgety, restless, they required more and bigger thrills to dissipate

their newfound, nervous energy.  A decapitation and some spilled blood

were apparently just the sort of things that Buzz and Liz, if not

Richie, needed to see in order to burn off the chemicals bubbling in

their bloodstreams, the sort of thing they needed to experience in

order to mellow out again.

No more dope tonight, Amy vowed.  No more dope ever.  I don't need

drugs to be happy.  Why do I use them?

They went to a sideshow called Animal Oddities, and the bizarre

creatures in that attraction gave Amy the willies.  There was a goat

with two heads, a bull with a three-eyed, triple cranium, a disgusting

pig with eyes on either side of its snout plus two more eyes higher in

its head, greenish drool trickling over its cracked and leathery lips,

two extra legs coming out of its left side.  They finally came to a pen

that contained a normallooking lamb, and Amy reached out to pet it, but

when it turned toward her, she saw it had an extra nose and a bulging,

sightless, third eye on the side of its head, and she pulled her hand

away.  The nightmarish animals were a beer chaser to the whiskey-like

effect of the spiced grass she had smoked, when she left Animal

Oddities, she felt higher, more thoroughly detached from reality than

when she had entered.

They rode the Rocket-Go-Round.  Amy sat in front of Buzz on the

motorcycle-like seat, in one of the two-passenger, bullet-shaped

cars.

In the relative privacy of that rapidly spinning container, he put his

hands on her braless breasts.

The centrifugal force pushed her back against him, and she felt the

heat and size of his erection as his crotch was jammed hard against her

buttocks.

Y want you," he said, putting his mouth against her ear, making himself

heard above the roar of the Rocket-Go-Round and the fierce whining of

the wind.

It felt good to be wanted so badly, to be needed as Buzz needed her,

and Amy wondered if maybe it was a good thing to be like Liz.  At least

you always had someone around who needed you for something.

At Bozo the Clown's booth, both Buzz and Richie managed to hit the

bull's-eye and dunk the jeering clown in a huge tub of water.  Buzz

went about it doggedly, buying three baseballs, then three more, then

three more, until at last he connected and sent Bozo into the tub.

Richie, on the other hand, disdained that approach.  He considered the

situation with a mathematician's eye and sensibilities, threw two bad

pitches, learned from each of them, and banged the bull's-eye on his

third try.

Later, when their car stopped for a moment at the top of the Ferris

wheel, with the diamondbright midway spread out below them, Buzz kissed

Amy, kissed her deeply, hungrily, his tongue probing her mouth.  His

hands were all over her.  She knew that tonight had to be the turning

point in their relationship.

Tonight she would either have to drop him or give him what he wanted.

She couldn't stall any longer.  She had to decide who and what she

was.

However, she was so high, so loose that she didn't want to thinkouldn't

think-about complex problems like that.  She just wanted to float

along, enjoying the lights, the sounds, the blur of motion, constant

action.

After the Ferris wheel, they boarded the bumper cars and bashed each

other mercilessly.  Sparks crackled and flew from the exposed-wire grid

overhead.  The air smelled of ozone.  Each noisy, shattering collision

sent a jolt of sensual pleasure through Amy.

On one side of the bumper-car pavilion, the carousel turned in a blur

of brilliant lights.  On the other side, the Tilt-a-Whirl spun, rose,

fell.

Calliope music mixed with the roar of the crowd and the constant

chatter of the pitchmen and the crashing of the bumper cars.

Amy loved the carnival.  As she pursued Richie's car and slammed into

it broadside, as she was spun around by the impact, she thought that

the carnival, with all of its lights and excitement, might be a little

bit like Las Vegas, and she wondered if perhaps she would enjoy going

to Nevada with Liz.

From the bumper cars they went to Freak-orama, and Amy's disorientation

was made worse by what she saw in that place: the three-eyed man whose

skin was like the skin of an alligator, the fattest woman in the world,

sitting on a gigantic couch, dwarfing that piece of furniture, her body

nothing more than a lump, her facial features lost in doughy fat, a man

with a second pair of arms growing out of his stomach, and a man with

two noses and a lipless mouth.

Liz, Buzz, and Richie thought Freak-o-rama was the best thing on the

midway.

They pointed and laughed at the creatures on exhibit, as if the people

at whom they were laughing could neither see nor hear them.  Amy didn't

feel the least bit like laughing, even though she was still very high

on grass.

She remembered Jerry Galloway's curse and Mama's certainty that the

baby would be deformed, and such sights as those in Freak-o-rama struck

too close to home to amuse her.  Amy was embarrassed, both for herself

and for the pathetic freaks who posed for a living in the stalls.  She

wished there were some way she could help them, but of course she

couldn't, so she listened to her friends making wisecracks, and she

smiled dutifully, and she tried to hurry them along.

Strangely, the most frightening exhibit in Freako-rama was the baby in

the enormous jar.  All of the other human oddities were whole and of

such size that they might potentially pose a threat, but the dead,

harmless thing in the jar, no possible threat to anyone, was the most

unsettling of all.  Its large green eyes stared blindly out of its

glass prison, its twisted, flared nostrils seemed to be sniffing at Amy,

Liz, Buzz, and Richie, its black lips were parted, and its pale,

speckled tongue was visible, and it looked as if it were snarling at

them, at nobody else but them, as if it would close its mouth after

they walked away.

"Creepy," Liz said.  "Jesus!"  "It isn't real," Richie said.  Yt wasn't

ever alive.  It's just too freaky.  No human being could give birth to

that." "Maybe no human being did," Liz said.

"That's what the sign says," Buzz observed."  Born in 1956, of normal

parents."

" They all looked up at the sign on the wall behind the jar, and Liz

said, "Hey, Amy, its mother's name was Ellen.  Maybe it's your

brother!"

Everyone laughed--except Amy.  She stared at the sign, at the five

large letters that spelled her mother's name, and yet another tremor of

premonition passed through her.  She felt as if her presence at the

carnival was not happenstance but destiny.  She had the uncanny and

distinctly unpleasant feeling that her seventeen years of life could

have led her nowhere else but here on this night of all nights.  She

was being maneuvered, constantly manipulated, if she reached overhead,

she would feel the strings of the puppetmaster.

Was it possible that this thing in the bottle actually had been Mama's

child?

Was this the reason Mama had insisted that Amy have an abortion

immediately?

No.  That's crazy.  Absurd, Amy thought desperately.

She didn't like the idea that her life had been funneled inexorably to

this tiny spot on the surface of the earth, at this minute among the

trillions of minutes that composed the flow of history.  That concept

left her feeling helpless, adrift.

It was just the drugs.  She couldn't trust her perceptions because of

the drugs.  No more grass, ever again.

"I don't blame its mother for killing it," Liz said, peering at the

thing in the jar.

i , "It's just a rubber model," Richie insisted.

"I'm going to get a closer look," Buzz said, slipping under the

restraining rope.

aBuzz, don't!"  Amy said.

- Buzz approached the platform where the jar stood and leaned close to

it.  He reached out, put a hand to the glass, slowly ran his fingers

down across the front of the jar, beyond which rested the face of the

monster.

Abruptly he jerked his .  hand away.  "Son of a bitch!n "What's the

matter?" Richie asked.

. "Buzz, come back here, please," Amy said.

Buzz returned, holding his hand up for them to see.  There was blood on

one of his fingers.

, "What happened?" Liz asked.

"Must have been a sharp seam on the jar," Buzz said.

"You better go to the first-aid station," Amy said.  "The cut might be

infected."  aNah," Buzz said, determined not to let a crack show in his

macho image.  "It's only a scratch.  Funny, though, I didn't see any

sharp edges." Maybe you didn't cut it on the glass," Richie said.

"Maybe the thing in there bit you."  "It's dead."  "Its body is dead,"

Richie said, "but maybe its spirit is still alive." "A minute ago you

told us the goddamned thing was just a rubber fake," Amy said.

"I've been known to be wrong," Richie said.

"How do you explain it biting through the jar?"  Buzz asked

sarcastically.

"A psychic bite," Richie said.  "A ghost bite."

"Don't give me the spooks," Liz said, hitting Richie on the shoulder.

"Ghost bite?"  Buzz asked.  "That's stupid."

The thing in the bottle watched them with its clouded, emerald,

moon-lamp eyes.

The name Ellen seemed to burn brighter on the sign than any of the

other words.

Coincidence, Amy told herself.

It had to be a coincidence.  Because if it wasn't, if this really was

Mama's child, if Amy had been brought to the carnival by some

supernatural force, then the other premonitions might also be true.

Liz actually might die here.

And that was unthinkable, unacceptable.  So it was coinciaence.

Ellen.

Coincidence, damn it!

Amy was relieved when they left Freak-o-rama.

They rode the Shazam and took another turn on the Loop-de-Loop, and

then suddenly they were all starving.  It was a drug-induced hunger,

the insatiable appetite familiar to all serious pot smokers.  They ate

hot dogs, ice cream, and candy apples.

Eventually they found themselves in front of the funhouse.

A big man in a Frankenstein costume capered on a low platform,

threatening the people who were boarding the cars to go into the

funhouse.  He waved his arms and snarled and jumped up and down in a

terrible imitation of Boris Karloff.

"He's a real ham," Richie said.

They moved a few feet to the barker's plat form, where a tall,

distinguished-looking man was ballying the passing crowd.

He looked down at them as he talked, and he had the bluest eyes Amy had

ever seen.  After a few seconds, she realized that the giant clown's

face atop the building had been painted in the barker's image.

"Terror-fying!  Terror-fying!"  the barker shouted.  "Goblins, ghosts,

and ghouls!  Spiders larger than men!  Monsters from other worlds and

from the darkest bowels of this one!  Are all of the creatures that

stalk the funhouse merely make i. believe .  . . or is one of them

real?  See for yourself!  Learn the truth at your own peril!  Can you

stand the test, the tension, the fear?

Are you man enough?  Ladies, are your men strong enough to comfort you

inside .  . . or will you have to comfort them?  Terror-fying!"  "I love

to go through the funhouse when I'm high as a kite," Liz said.  "When

you're really, truly wrecked, it's a gas.  All those dumb plastic

monsters jumping out at you."

, "sO let's gO," Richie said.

"No, no," Liz said.  "We've got to save it until ~ we're really high."

"I'm really high now," Amy said.

"Me too," Buzz said.

"Oh, we'll get more wasted than this," Liz said.  "This is nothing."

"If I get more wasted than this," Richie said, "I'll have to be

institutionalized." "Make it a cell for two," Buzz said.

"That's the idea," Liz said excitedly.  "You've got to be really

wrecked to fully appreciate the funhouse."

Not me, Amy reminded herself.  No more dope tonight.  No more dope

ever.

They bought tickets for a ride called the Slithering Snake.  The man at

the controls was a dwarf, and while Liz waited for the ride to start,

she teased the little man, made jokes about his height.  He glared at

Liz, and Amy wished her friend would shut up.  When the Slithering

Snake finally began to move, the dwarf got his revenge, he gave it much

more speed than usual, and the chain of cars flashed around the

looping, rising, falling track so fast that Amy was terrified it was

going to fly off the rails.  What should have been a thrilling ride

became a knuckle-whitening, stomachclenching ordeal, a sweat-popping

torture that seemed like it would never end.  Incredibly, even under

those conditions, when the automatic canvas cover closed over the

fast-moving train, Buzz took advantage of the darkness to take

advantage of Amy, his hands were all over her.

This whole night is like the Slithering Snake, Amy thought.  It's out

of control.

After they rode the Octopus again, after they gleefully bashed each

other around in the bumper cars once more, they returned to the

cul-de-sac behind the carnival trucks, at the perimeter of the

fairgrounds, and Liz stoked up another of her specially spiced

joints.

Darkness had come to the fairgrounds now, and they weren't able to see

each other clearly as they passed the reefer around.  They made jokes

about some stranger stepping out of the darkness and taking a toke

without anyone being the wiser, and they kidded each other about seeing

freaks hiding under the trucks around them.

Amy tried to fake it when the joint came to her.  She took a drag on

it, but she didn't inhale.  She held the smoke in her mouth for a

moment, then blew it out.

Even in the darkness, with only the glowing tip of the cigarette and

the sound of indrawn breath to judge by, Liz realized that Amy hadn't

really taken a good pull on the weed.  "Don't hold back on us, kid,"

she said sharply.  "Don't be a party pooper."  "I don't know what you

mean," Amy said.

aLike hell you don't.  Take another hit on that joint.  When I'm wasted

I like a lot of company in the same condition." Rather than irritate

Liz, Amy took another drag on the joint and sucked the smoke deep this

time.  She hated herself for her lack of willpower.

But I don't want to lose Liz, she thought.  I need Liz.  Who else do I

have?

When they walked back onto the midway, they nearly collided with an

albino.

His thin, cottony white hair streamed behind him in the warm June

breeze.  He turned transparent eyes on them, eyes like cold smoke, and

he said, "Free tickets to Madame Zena's.  Free tickets to get your

fortunes told.

One for each lady, compliments of the carnival management.  Tell all

your friends that Big American is the friendly carnival." Surprised,

Amy and Liz accepted the tickets from the worm-white hands that offered

them.

The albino vanished in the crowd.

THE FOUR OF them crowded into the fortuneteller's small tent.  Liz and

Amy sat in the two available chairs, at the table where the crystal

ball was filled with lambent light.  Richie and Buzz stood behind the

chairs.

Amy didn't think that Madame Zena looked much like the Gypsy she was

supposed to be, even dressed up in all the colored scarves and pleated

skirts and gaudy jewelry.  But the woman was very pretty, and she was

suitably mysterious.

Liz got her fortune told first.  Madame Zena f: asked her all sorts of

questions about herself and her family, information that she needed (so

she said) in order to focus her psychic perceptions.  When she had no

more questions to ask, she peered into the crystal ball, she leaned so

close to it that the eerie light and the shadows it cast made her

features look different, hawklike.

In four glass chimneys, in the four corners of the tent, four candles

guttered.

In its large cage to the right of the table, the raven shifted on its

perch and made a cooing sound in the back of its throat.

Liz glanced at Amy and rolled her eyes.

Amy giggled, giddier than ever from the dope.

Madame Zena stared into the crystal ball with a theatrical scowl, as if

she were struggling to pierce the veils that concealed the world of

tomorrow.  But then the expression on her face changed and became a

look of genuine puzzlement.  She blinked, shook her head, and leaned

even closer to the glowing sphere on the table.

"What is it?" Liz asked.

Madame Zena didn't respond.  Her face held a ghastly look, so real that

Amy was unnerved by it.

"No .  . ." Madame Zena said.

To Liz, apparently, Madame Zena still seemed to be putting on an act.

Liz evidently didn't see the uncontrived horror in the fortune-teller's

face, which Amy was sure she saw there.

"I don't .  . ." Madame Zena began, then stopped and licked her lips.

"I never .  . ."  "What am I going to be?" Liz asked.  "Rich or famous

or both?" Madame Zena closed her eyes for a moment, slowly shaking her

head, then looked again into the crystal.  aMy God .  . . I .  . . I

.

. ."

We should get out of here, Amy thought uneasily.  We should go before

this woman tells us some , ,_ thing we don't want to hear.  We should

get up and leave and run for our lives.

Madame Zena looked up from the crystal ball.  All the blood had drained

from her face.

"What an actress!n Richie said softly.

"Bunch of mumbojumbo," Buzz said sullenly.

Madame Zena ignored them and spoke to Liz.  "I .  . . I would rather

not .  . .

tell your fortune .  . . just yet.  I need .  . . time.  Time to

interpret what I've just seen in the crystal.  I'll read your friend's

future first, and then .  . . I'll come back to yours, if that's all

right." "Sure," Liz said, enjoying what she thought was a con game of

some sort, a way to prime the customer for a joke or a request for

money to pay for a more detailed reading.  "Take as long as you

want."

Madame Zena turned to Amy.  The fortuneteller's eyes were not what they

had been a few minutes ago, now they were haunted.

Amy wanted to get up and leave the tent.  She was experiencing the same

kind of psychic energy that had electrified her at Marco the

Magnificent's show.  A chill, clammy sensation swept through her, and

she saw stroboscopic images of graves and rotting corpses and grinning

skeletons, nightmare flashes as if clips of film were being projected

on a screen behind her eyes.

She tried to stand up.  She couldn't.

Her heart was hammering.

It was the drugs again.  That was all.  Just the drugs.  The spice Liz

had added to the pot.  She wished she hadn't smoked any more of it, she

wished she'd stood up to Liz and refused.

"I'll have to ask you some questions.  . . about yourself .  . .

and your family," Madame Zena said haltingly, without any of the

theatrical pizazz that she had shown while plying Liz with her spiel.

"It is just as I told your friend here .  . . I need the information in

order to focus my psychic perceptions." She sounded as if she wanted to

jump up and run out of the tent every bit as much as Amy did.

aGo ahead," Amy whispered.  "I don't want to know .  . . but I've got

to." "Hey, what's going on here?" Richie asked, picking up on the new,

evil vibrations that now filled the tent.

Still blissfully unaware of the sudden seriousness in the

fortune-teller's demeanor, Liz said, aSsshh, Richie!  Don't spoil the

show." To Amy, Madame Zena said, "Your name?" "Amy Harper." "Your age?"

"seventeen." "Where do you live?" "Here in Royal City." aDo you have

any sisters?" "NO." "Brothers?" One .

"His name?" "Joey Harper." "His age?" aTen." I Ys your mother alive?"

aYes." "What is her age?" "Forty-five, I think."

Madame Zena blinked, licked her lips.

What color hair does your mother have?"

"Dark brown, almost black, like mine." "What color are her eyes?" "Very

dark, like mine." "What is .  . ." Madame Zena cleared her throat.  The

raven flapped its wings.

Finally Madame Zena spoke again.  "What is your mother's name?" "Ellen

Harper." The name clearly jolted the fortune-teller.  Fine beads of

sweat broke out along her hairline.

"Do you know your mother's maiden name?" aGiavenetto," Amy said.

Madame Zena's face became even whiter, and she began to tremble

visibly.

What the hell .  . . ?"  Richie said, perceiving the very real fear in

the phony Gypsy, baffled by it.

"Ssshh!"  Liz said.

What a bunch of crap," Buzz said.

Madame Zena was obviously reluctant to look into the crystal ball, but

at last she forced her eyes to it.  She blinked and gasped and cried

out.

She pushed her chair back from the table and stood up.  She swept the

glass sphere off the table, it crashed to the earthen floor, but it was

too ~ heavy to break that easily.  "You've got to get out of here," she

said urgently.  "You've got to go.  Get away from the carnival.  Go

home and lock your doors and stay there until the carnival leaves

town."

Liz and Amy stood up, and Liz said, "What's all the malarkey?  We were

supposed to get our fortunes told for free.  You haven't told us how

we're going to be rich and famous."

From the other side of the table, Madame Zena stared at them with wide,

frightened eyes.  "Listen to me.  I'm a fake.  A phony.  I don't have

any psychic ability.  I just con the marks.  I've never seen into the

future.

I've never seen anything in that crystal ball except the light from the

flashlight bulb in the wooden base.  But tonight .  . . just a minute

ago .  . . my God, I did see something.  I don't understand it.  I

don't want to understand it.  My God, Jesus, Jesus Christ, who would

want to be able to see the future?

That would be a curse, not a gift.  But I saw.  You've got to leave the

carnival now, right away.  Don't stop for anything.  Don't look back."

They stared at her, amazed by her outburst.

Madame Zena swayed, and her legs seemed to turn to mush, and she

collapsed into her chair again.  "Go, damn you!  Get the hell out of

here before it's too late!  Go, you goddamned fools!  Hurry!"

Out on the midway, standing in a pool of flashing lights, with people

streaming past, with waves of calliope music breaking over them, they

looked at each other, waiting for someone to say something.

Richie spoke first.  "What was that all about?"

"She's nuts," Buzz said.

"I don't think so," Amy said.

"A real looney-tune," Buzz insisted.

"Hey, don't you guys understand what happened?" Liz asked.  She laughed

happily and clapped her hands with delight.

"If you've got an explanation, tell us," Amy said, still chilled to the

bone by the look that had come over Madame Zena's face when she had

peered into the crystal ball.

"It's a scam," Liz said.  "The carnival security men spotted us smoking

dope.

They don't want that kind of trouble on their lot, but they also don't

want to call the cops.  Carnies don't truck with the cops.  So they

arranged for the albino to give us free tickets to Zena's, so she could

try to scare us off." "Yeah!n Buzz said.  "I'll be damned.  That's it,

all right." "I don't know," Richie said.  "It doesn't make a lot of

sense.  I mean, why wouldn't they just have their goons throw us out?"

"Because there's too many of us, dummy," Liz said.  "They'd need at

least three bouncers.  They wouldn't want to make a big scene like

that." "Could she have been sincere?" Amy asked.

I "Madame Zena?" Liz said.  "You mean to tell me you believe she really

saw something in her crystal ball?  Horseshit!n -.t,' They talked about

it some more, and gradually ' t' they came to accept Liz's theory.  It

seemed to make more sense by the minute.

But Amy wondered if it would make any sense L at all if they weren't

half wasted on dope.  She thought of Marco the Magnificent, Liz's face

on the woman in the coffin, Buzz cutting his finger on the jar that

contained the monster.  It was too much to think about, too scary.

Even if Liz's explanation was thin, it was at least conveniently

simple, and Amy gladly accepted it.

"I have to pee," Liz said.  "Then I want some ice cream and a ride

through the funhouse.  After that we can split for home."  She tickled

Richie under the chin.  "When we get home, I'll take you on a thrill

ride better than anything they have here."  She turned to Amy.  "Come

to the restroom with me."

"I don't really have to," Amy said.

Liz took her hand.  "Come on.  Keep me company.  Anyway, we have to

talk, kid." "Meet you at the ice-cream stand over there," Richie said,

pointing to a joint beyond the carousel.

"Back in a jiffy," Liz assured him.  Then she pulled Amy through the

crowd, toward the edge of the midway.

Conrad was standing in the shadows beside Zena's tent when the four

teenagers came out and stopped in the pool of flashing red and yellow

light that was cast by the nearby Tilt-a-Whirl.  He heard the blond

girl say that she wanted to use the restroom, get an ice cream, and

then take a tour of the funhouse.

As soon as the group split up and moved away, Conrad slipped into

Zena's tent.

As .

he went inside, he pulled down a canvas flap that covered the entire

entrance, on the outside of it, there were six wordsLOSED/WILL RETURN

IN TEN MINUTES.

Zena was sitting in her chair.  Even in the flickering light of the

candles, Conrad could see that she was ashen.

"Well?" he said.

"Another dead end," Zena said nervously.

"This one looks more like Ellen than most of the others that I've sent

to you." "Just coincidence," Zena said.  1- "What's her name?" "Amy

Harper."

Those four syllables electrified Conrad.  He remembered the small boy

to whom he had given two free passes just this afternoon.  That child's

name had been Joey Harper, and he had said that his sister's name was

Amy.  He, too, had resembled Ellen.

What did you learn about her?"  he asked Zena.

"Not much." "Tell me."  "She's not the one."

"Tell me anyway.  Brothers?  Sisters?"

Zena hesitated, then said, "One brother."  tWhat's his name?"  "What

does it matter?  She isn't the one you're looking for." "Just curious,"

Conrad said evenly, sensing that she was hiding the truth from him, but

afraid to believe that he had found his prey after all this time.

"What's her brother's name?" "Joey."  "What's her mother's name."

"Nancy," Zena said.

Conrad knew she was lying.  He stared down at her and said, "Are you

sure it isn't Leon"?"

Zena blinked.  "What?  Why Leon"?"

"Because this afternoon, when I happened to have a friendly little chat

with Joey Harper while he was watching us erect the funhouse, he told

me that his mother's name was Leon"." Zena gaped at him, amazed and

perplexed.

Conrad walked around the table and put a hand on her shoulder.

She looked up at him.

He said, "You know what I think?  I think the boy lied to me.  I think

he sensed danger somehow, and he lied about his mother's name and

age.

And now you're lying to me." "Conrad .  . . let them gO." Her words

were an admission that he had found Ellen's children, and a shattering,

explosive elation tore through him.

"I saw something in the crystal ball," she said in a voice that

contained fear and awe.  "It's not even crystal.  It's just a cheap

piece of crap.

There's nothing magical about it.  Yet .  . . tonight .  . . when those

girls were here .

. . I saw images in the ball.  It was awful, horrible.  I saw the blond

screaming, her hands thrown up in front of her face as if she were

trying to ward off something hideous that was reaching for her.  And I

saw the other one .  . . Amy .  . . in torn clothes, all covered with

blood." She shuddered violently.  "And I think .  . . the boys, too .

. . in the background of the vision .  . . the boys who were with those

girls .  . . all bloody."  "It's a sign," Conrad said.  Y told you,

I've been sent signs.

This is another one.  It tells me not to wait.  It tells me to get Amy

tonight, even if I have to take care of the others as well." Zena shook

her head.  "No.  No, Conrad, I can't let you do that.

You can't have your revenge.  It's sick.  You can't just go out there

and kill those four kids." I "Oh, I probably won't kill any of them

with my own hands," he said.

"What do you mean?" "Gunther will take care of them."  "Gunther?  He

wouldn't hurt anyone."  "Our son has changed," Conrad said.  "I'm the

only one who knows how much he's changed.  He's come of age at last.

He needs women now, and he .  takes what he needs.  He doesn't just

screw them, either.  He leaves quite a mess behind.  I've been covering

up for him the last few years.

And now I'll be repaid.  He'll give me the vengeance I've dreamed about

for so long."  "What do you mean when you say he takes women?"  "Uses

them and then rips them apart," Conrad said, knowing that she was the

type who would feel morally responsible for the actions of her freakish

offspring, smiling as he saw the pain flicker across her face.

"How many?"  she asked.

"I've lost count.  A few dozen."  aMy God," Zena said, shaken to her

roots.  "What have I done?  What have I brought into the world?"  "The

Antichrist," Conrad said.

"No," she said.  "You're not in your right mind.  You have delusions of

grandeur.  It's nothing as special as the Antichrist.  It's just a

vicious, mad beast.  I should have had Ellen's good sense.  I should

have killed it like she killed Victor.  Now .  . . I'm responsible for

everyone who has died and for everyone who will die before it's

finished."

Standing over her, Conrad reached down, put his hands on her throat,

and said, "I can't let you spoil everything."

Zena struggled.  But she didn't have a strong enough desire to live,

while Conrad had an exceedingly strong desire to kill her.  He had

never known such power and purpose as that which coursed through him

now.  He felt supercharged, crackling with a demonic energy.  Zena

thrashed and kicked and scratched his face, but she died much more

easily than he had expected.  He dragged her body into the darkest

corner of the tent, later, he would figure out some way to get rid of

it.

The raven squawked hysterically.

Afraid that the bird would draw someone to the body before it could be

disposed of, Conrad opened the cage, thrust his hands inside, seized

the raven, and broke its neck.

He left Zena's tent and hurried back to the funhouse.  Amy Harper and

her friends would be arriving shortly, and he wanted to be prepared for

them.

Tonight Joey was a winner.  He won sixty-five cents pitching pennies.

He won a small teddy bear by throwing darts at balloons.  And he won a

free ride on the carousel when he managed to grab a brass ring the

first time around.

He was on the carousel, riding a black stallion like the one in the

movie of the same name, when he saw Amy.  He hadn't considered the

possibility that her date had brought her to the carnival, but there

she was, in dark green shorts and a pale green T-shirt.  She wasn't

with Buzz, though.  She was with Liz, and the two girls were headed

toward the edge of the midway.  Joey lost sight of them as the carousel

revolved, and when he came around again, they had disappeared in the

crowd.

When he got off the merry-go-round a couple of minutes later, he went

looking for his sister.  He knew she would enjoy hearing how he had

fooled Mama.  She would think he was clever and brave for coming all

the way to the fairgrounds on his own.  He valued Amy's approval more

than anything else, and he was eager to hear what she would say when

she saw him here all by himself.

THE COMFORT STATION was brightly lighted.  It smelled of damp concrete,

mildew, and stale urine.  The sinks were stained by years of dripping,

mineral-rich water.

After Amy and Liz washed their hands, as they were leaning toward the

mirrors, fixing their makeup, two older women left the restroom, and

the girls were alone.

"You feeling high?"  Liz asked.

aYes."

"Me too.  All the way up.  I'm fuckin' wired, for sure.  Are you just

high, or are you really wired?"

"I'm totally wasted," Amy said, squinting into the mirror, applying

lipstick with a shaky hand.

"Good," Liz said.  "I'm glad you're really wrecked.  Maybe you'll

finally loosen up."  "I'm loose as a goose," Amy said.

"Great," Liz said.  "Then I won't have to sell you on it." "Sell me on

what?"

The orgy," Liz said.

Amy looked at her, and Liz grinned almost drunkenly, and Amy said,

"Orgy?" - "I've already sold the idea to those two pussyhounds out

there," Liz said.

aBuzz and Richie?"

"They're both game."

"You mean .  . . the four of us in one bed?"

E .  "Sure," Liz said, putting away her own lipstick, , snapping her

purse shut.

"It'll be fantastic!"  "Oh, Liz, I don't know about that.  I don't--"

"Let it slide, kid."

"I've got college and_n "You've got the pill.  You won't get knocked up

again.  Don't be so damned prim.

Go with the flow, kid.  Be what you are.  Stop pretending you're Sister

Purity." "I couldn't--" "Of course you could," Liz said.  "You will.

You want it.  You're just like me.

Face facts and enjoy yourself."

Amy put one hand on the sink to steady herself.  It wasn't just the

dope that made her feel woozy.

' She was dizzied by the prospect of just letting go, being like Liz,

forgetting about the future, living just for the moment, incapable of

guilt or remorse.  It must be nice to live that way.  It must be so

relaxing, so free.

Liz moved close to her and said, "My place.  As soon as we leave the

fairgrounds.  The four of us.  My parents have a king-size bed.  Think

of it, honey.  You can have both those guys at the same time.  They're

both dying to slip the old salami to you.

It'll be great.  You'll have a ball.  I know you will because I'll have

a ball, and you're just like me." Liz's melodic, rhythmic voice was

draining all the energy and all the will out of Amy.  Amy leaned

against the sink and closed her eyes and felt that warm, seductive

voice pulling her down, down into a place she wasn't sure she wanted to

go.

Then Amy felt a hand on her breast.  She opened her eyes with a

start.

Liz was touching her intimately, smiling.

Amy wanted to push the other girl's lewd hand away, but she couldn't

find sufficient strength to present Liz with even that small token of

resistance.

"I've always wondered what it would be like, you and me, just us two

girls," Liz said.

"You're wasted," Amy said.  "You're so high you don't know what you're

saying." "I know exactly what I'm saying, kid.  I've always wondered

.

. .

and tonight I can find out.  We can make some real memories, kid."  She

leaned close, kissed Amy lightly on the mouth, tongue flicking like the

quick tongue of a snake, and then she left the restroom, twitching her

bottom as she went.

Amy felt dirty, but she also experienced a tremor of pleasure that

oscillated through every inch of her.

She looked in the mirror again, squinting because the bright

fluorescent lights stung her bleary eyes.  Her face looked soft, as if

it were melting off her bones.  Searching once more for that wickedness

that others could see in her, she stared into her own eyes.  All of

Amy's life, her mother had told her that she was filled with a terrible

evil that must be repressed at all costs.

After years and years of listening to that hateful line, Amy didn't

like herself very much.  Her self-respect had been whittled down to a

fragile stick, Mama had wielded the whittling knife.  Now Amy thought

she finally could see a hint of the evil that Mama and Liz saw in her,

it was a peculiar shadow, a writhing darkness deep in her eyes.

No!  she thought desperately, frightened by the speed with which her

resolution was dissolving.  I'm not that kind of person.  I have plans,

ambitions, dreams.

I want to paint beautiful pictures and bring happiness to people.

But she could vividly recall the thrill that had snapped through her

like an electric current when Liz's tongue had licked her lips.

She thought of being in bed with Richie and Buzz, both of them using

her at the same time, and suddenly it wasn't impossible for her to

picture herself in that situation.

Standing there in the harshly lighted comfort station, acutely

uncomfortable in the stink of mildew and urine and rotting hope, Amy

felt as if she were waiting in the anteroom of Hell.

At last she walked to the door and opened it.

Liz was waiting outside, in the night.  She smiled at Amy and held out

her hand.

Conrad sent Ghost off to work at the grab joint, which was busier than

the funhouse tonight.  As soon as the albino was gone, Conrad shut the

ticket booth and sent Elton to assist at the pitch-anddunk, which

formed the third corner of Straker's three-cornered carnival empire.

Elton gave him an odd look.  The funhouse was much too busy to justify

closing it down for the night.  But unlike Ghost, Elton never asked

questions, he simply did as he was told.

When those marks who were already in the funhouse came out through the

big, swinging exit doors and disembarked from their gondolas, Conrad

shut down the power to the track.  He didn't switch off the lights or

the music, in fact he turned up the volume on the music and on the

voice of the laughing clown as well.

Gunther watched Conrad with puzzlement.  But when the situation was

explained to him, he understood at once, and he went into the funhouse

to wait.

Conrad took up a position by the shuttered ticket booth.  He turned

away the marks when they asked if they could buy tickets.  For the rest

of the night, the funhouse would be open for only four very special

people.

After they ate ice-cream bars covered with chocolate and nuts, Liz and

Amy and Richie and Buzz went to the funhouse.

, The barker, the man with the brilliantly blue eyes who had been on

the elevated platform earlier, was no longer haranguing the people who

passed by.

He was standing at the ticket booth, which appeared to be closed.

"Oh, no," Liz said disappointedly.  "Mister, you aren't going to shut

down for the night already?" "No," the barker said.  "We just had a

minor mechanical problem." "When will it be fixed?" Liz asked.

"It's fixed already," the barker said.  aBut I've got to wait for the

boss to get back before I start up."

- "How long will that be?"  Richie asked.

The barker shrugged.  "Hard to tell.  The boss likes, shall we say, to

tipple.

If he's tippled too much while we were fixing the motors, he might not

be back at all."

Ah, shit!"  Liz said.  "We saved this for last because it's my

favorite."

The barker looked at Amy, and she didn't like what she saw in his

eyes.

His gaze was so intent and somehow menacing, hungry.

I should have worn a bra, Amy thought.  I shouldn't have tried to be

like Liz.

I shouldn't have gone out in short shorts, a flimsy T-shirt, and no

bra.  I'm just advertising myself.  No wonder he's staring at me like

that.

"Well," the barker said, sweeping them all with his gas-flame eyes,

"I'll tell you what.  You don't look like an ordinary group of marks to

me.  You look like you're with it and for it." "You bet your ass we

are," Liz said.

"Whatever that means--with it and for it," Buzz said.

"It's a carny expression," the barker told them.  "It means what it

says and says what it means." Liz laughed.  "Which makes everything

perfectly clear." The barker grinned and winked at her.

"You're a pretty sharp dude," Liz said.

"Thank you," the barker said.  "And you're a very sharp lady.  But I'll

take your money just the same."

Richie and Buzz dug in their pockets for money.

The barker glanced at Amy again.  That same hunger.

Amy crossed her arms over her breasts, so he couldn't see her nipples

through the pale green T-shirt she wore.

Joey had just about give up trying to find Amy in the crowd that surged

around the midway-- and then he saw her.  She was with Liz, Buzz, and

another boy.  The carny who had given Joey the free passes was helping

them into a gondola at the funhouse boarding gate.

Joey hesitated, remembering how weird the carny had acted this

afternoon.  But he was so eager to tell Amy about how he had fooled

Mama that he shrugged off his misgivings and headed toward the

funhouse.

.- .

'1.

The gondola seated four: two forward, two behind.  Liz and Richie took

the front seats, Amy and Buzz sat in back of them.

They started with a jolt that made Liz yelp and laugh.  The phony

castle doors opened, swallowed them, and closed again.

At first the gondola moved rapidly into the pitch blackness, but then

it slowed.  A light popped on to the left of the track and above it,

and a leering, grizzled pirate laughed and thrust a sword at them.

Liz squealed, and Buzz took the opportunity to put his arm around

Amy.

On their right, just past the pirate, a very realistic-looking werewolf

was crouched on a ledge, suddenly illuminated by a moon that lit up

behind him.

His eyes glowed red, there was blood on his huge teeth, and his claws,

which he raked at the gondola, gleamed like splinters of a mirror.

"Oh, protect me, Richie!n Liz shouted in make believe terror.

"Protect my virgin body from that horrid beast!n She laughed at her own

performance.

The car slowed even more, and they came to a display in which an

ax-murderer was standing over one of his victims.  The ax was buried in

the dead man's skull, cleaving his forehead in two.

The gondola came to a complete stop.

"What's wrong?"  Liz asked.

"Must have broken down again," Richie said.

They were sitting in purple-brown shadows.  The only light came from

the ax-murderer exhibit beside them, and that was an eerie, greenish

glow.

"Hey!"  Liz shouted into the darkness and into the waves of creepy

music that crashed over them.  "Hey, let's get this show on the road!"

"Yeah!"  Buzz shouted.  "Hey, out there!"

For a minute or two they all called to the barker, who was on the

platform outside, beyond the closed doors of the attraction, no more

than thirty or forty feet away.  No one responded to them, and at last

they gave up.

"Shit," Liz said.

"What should we do?"  Amy asked.

"Stay put," Richie said.  "It'll start moving again eventually."

"Maybe we should get out and walk back to the doors," Buzz said.

"Absolutely not," Richie said.  "If we did, and then the ride started

up again, our gondola would go offwithout us.  And if another car came

through the entrance doors, it would run us down."  "I hope we don't

have to wait in here too long," Amy said, remembering the way the

barker had looked at her.  "It's spooky."

"What a pain in the ass," Liz said.

aBe patient," Richie said.  "We'll be rolling soon."

"If we've got to just sit here," Liz said, "I wish they'd shut off that

fuckin' music.  It's way too loud.

. .

.

, i_ .

Something creaked loudly overhead.

1What was that?"  Amy asked.

They all looked up in the darkness.

"Nothing," Buzz said.  "Just the wind outside." "There isn't any wind

tonight," Amy said.

The creaking noise came again.  This time there were other loud sounds

with it: a scraping, a thud, an animal-like grunting.

"I don't think we--" Richie began.

Something flashed out of the darkness and seized him by the throat.  An

arm thrust down from the low, unlighted ceiling over the gondola, an

arm that ended in a large, long-fingered, furcovered hand that was

tipped with murderously sharp claws.  Though the arm moved fast, they

all saw it in the backwash of green light from the ax-murderer exhibit,

but they couldn't see what was in the blackness above, at the other end

of the arm.

Whatever it was, its claws pierced Richie's throat, hooked deep into

his flesh, and the thing hauled him up, off his seat.  Richie kicked

frantically, his shoes drumming on the front of the gondola for a

second or two.  Then he was out of the car, up, up, dragged through a

hole in the ceiling, as if he weighed only a few pounds.

Overhead, a trap door banged shut.

The attack had transpired in only three or four seconds.

For a moment Amy was too stunned to move or speak.  She stared at the

darkness above, where Richie had disappeared, and she couldn't make

herself believe what she had seen.  It had to be a trick, part of the

funhouse tour, an incredibly clever illusion.

Apparently Liz and Buzz thought the same thing, for they, too, were

mesmerized.

Gradually, however, Amy realized that Richie was really gone and that

no carnival in the world would risk injuring a customer with a trick as

dangerous as that one.

Liz said, "Blood."

That single word broke the spell.

Amy and Buzz looked at her.

Liz was turned part of the way around in the front seat.  She was

holding up her arms.  They were spattered with something wet and

dark.

Even in the green light, it was obvious that Liz was spotted with

blood.

Richie's blood.

Amy screamed.

As SOON AS Conrad switched off the power to the tracks, stranding the

carload of teenagers, he went down the boarding ramp toward the

midway.

He intended to walk around to the back of the funhouse, enter by the

rear basement door, lock it after him, and locate Gunther.  He wanted

his son to kill three of those kids, but not Amy Harper.  Amy, of

course, would have to suffer for several days before she died, she

would have to be well used, perhaps by both himself and Gunther, that

was the way Conrad wanted it, the way he had dreamed of it for

twenty-five years.  He had instructed Gunther carefully, but he wasn't

sure that Gunther would be able to control himself once the killing

began.  Gunther needed to be reminded, he needed constant guidance

through the next critical hour.

But when Conrad reached the bottom of the ramp, as he was about to head

for the walkway between the funhouse and Freak-o-rama, he saw the

boy.

Joey Harper.  Amy's little brother was standing over by the second set

of castle doors, through which the gondolas exited the funhouse.

He must have seen his sister go inside, Conrad thought.  He's waiting

for her.

When she doesn't come out, what will he do?  Go for help?  Seek out a

security guard?

Joey glanced at him.

Conrad smiled and waved.

He would have to do something about the damned boy, and quick.

Buzz climbed onto the ledge where the axmurderer display was bathed in

green light, and he pulled the ax out of the skull of the mannequin

that was crumpled at the foot of the mechanical madman.  Ax in hand, he

jumped down into the gondola channel, where Amy and Liz were huddled

together, waiting for him.

"It's a real ax," he said.  "Not very sharp, but it ought to be of some

use."

"I just don't understand," Liz said shakily.  "What is going on here?

What the fuck is this all about?"

"I don't know for sure," Buzz said.  "I can only guess.  But you saw

that hand .

. ."

"It wasn't a hand," Liz said.

"Claw, paw, whatever you want to call it," Buzz said.  "Anyway, it was

just like the hands on the thing in the jar, that dead freak we saw

pickled in formaldehyde over at Freak-o-rama.  Only this hand was a lot

bigger."

Amy had to make an effort to speak.  She was surprised she could talk

at all.

"You mean .  . . you , think we're trapped in here with a freak that

kills people?" "Yeah," Buzz said.

"It didn't kill Richie!"  Liz said, her voice cracking.  aRichie isn't

dead.  He's alive.  He's.  . . somewhere .  . .

and he's alive." "It's possible," Buzz said.  "Maybe it's just a

kidnapping scheme or something.

Maybe they're just going to hold Richie for ransom.  It's possible." He

and Amy exchanged looks, and although it wasn't easy to read his

expression in the green light, Amy knew that Buzz felt the same way

about it as she did.

Richie couldn't possibly be alive.  There wasn't one chance in a

million that he would ever smile at them again.  Richie was dead, gone,

forever.

aWe've got to get out of here and call the cops," Liz said.

UWe've got to save Richie."

- "Come on," Buzz said.  "We'll walk back to the t'' entrance doors.

If we can't open them, maybe this ax is just sharp enough so that I can

chop a way out." There was no light whatsoever between the green glow

of the display on their left side and the front doors, thirty feet

away.

Liz looked down the tomb-black tunnel and said, "No.  No, I can't walk

through all that darkness.  What if it's waiting there for us?"

"You have matches in your purse," Amy said.  "We can use those to find

our way."

"Good idea!"  Buzz said.

Liz rummaged through her purse with shaking hands and found two packs

of matches, one full and one half-empty.

Buzz took them from her.  He walked off, into the darkness, struck a

match, and was visible again.  "Let's go."

"Wait," Liz said.  "Wait a minute.  Maybe .  . ."

"Maybe what?" Amy asked.

Buzz shook out the match as it came close to burning his fingers, and

he stepped back into the green light.

Liz shook her head to clear it.  "I'm so damned wasted.  I'm really

wrecked.  I can't think straight.  So isn't it possible that maybe this

isn't really happening?  Isn't it possible that this is just a bad

trip?  That was PCP I mixed in the last two joints.  You can have a bad

trip on A-dust, you know.

Some of the worst trips you ever had.  Maybe that's what this is.

Just a bad trip."  aWe wouldn't all be having the same hallucination,"

Buzz said.

"How do I know you're even real?"  Liz asked.  "You might just exist in

my mind.

Maybe the real Buzz is sitting beside Amy in the back of that gondola,

halfway through the funhouse by now.  Maybe I'm in that car, too, so

spaced out I don't realize where I am."

Amy gently slapped Liz's face.  "Listen.  Listen to me, Liz.  This

isn't a bad trip.  Not the way you mean it.  This is real, and I'm

scared out of my wits, so let's stop fooling around and get the hell

out of here."

Liz blinked, licked her lips.  "Yeah.  You're right.  Sorry.  It's just

. . . I wish I didn't feel so wasted."

Buzz lit one match, then another and another, and they followed him

down the dark tunnel toward the funhouse entrance.

Joey stood with the barker in front of the funhouse, trying to remember

why he had been frightened of this man earlier in the day.  Now the

carny was as friendly as a person could be, and he had a smile so nice

that Joey couldn't help smiling, too.

"Have you been through my funhouse yet, son?"  the barker asked.

"No," Joey said.  "I've been on a lot of other things, though."

He had been avoiding the funhouse because he felt uneasy about Conrad

Straker, even though Straker had given him two free passes.

aMy funhouse is the best attraction on the midway," Conrad said.

"Why don't you let me take you on a personally guided tour?  How about

that?

Not just an ordinary ride like all the marks get, but a guided tour

with the owner.  I can show you the workings of it, the

behind-the-scenes stuff that few people are ever fortunate enough to

see.  I'll show you how the monsters are built, how they're made to

move and growl and gnash their teeth.  Everything.

All of it.

I'll show you the kind of things that a with-it-and-for-it person would

enjoy learning about." "Gee," Joey said, "you'd really do that?"

"Certainly," the barker said heartily.  "As I'm sure you noticed, I

closed the funhouse down for the night.  The ticket booth is closed, as

you can see.  I just sent the last car through, four nice teenagers."

"One of them was my sister," Joey said.

"Oh, really?  Let me guess.  There was one who looked like you.  The

dark-haired girl in the green shorts." "That's her," Joey said.  "She

doesn't know I'm here tonight.  I want to wait for her to come out .

.

. to say hello.  Hey, maybe she would like the guided tour, too.  Could

she come along I'll bet Amy would really enjoy it."

The front doors of the funhouse were designed to open inward on

hydraulic rams.  There were no handles on them, nothing by which they

could be gripped or moved.

"If I could get hold of an edge," Buzz said, "maybe I could pry them

open.  But they're closed so damned tight."  "It wouldn't matter if you

could get your fingers through a crack," Amy said.

"You wouldn't be able to pull the doors open anyway.  I'll bet they're

just like the automatic door on the garage at home.  As long as they're

hooked up to the hydraulic system, they can't be opened manually."

"Yeah," Buzz said.  "You're right.  I should have thought of that." Amy

was surprised that she was holding up so well.  She was scared, and she

got a sinking feeling--part grief and part disgust--when she thought of

what happened to Richie.  But she wasn't coming apart at the seams.  In

spite of the dope she had smoked, she was in control of herself.  In

fact she was thinking faster and clearer than Buzz.  She didn't

consider herself to be a strong person, Mama always told her that she

was weak, flawed.  Now her fortitude amazed her.

Liz, on the other hand, was rapidly breaking down.  Her eyes brimmed

with a steady flow of tears.  She looked drawn, years older than she

had looked minutes ago.  She mewled like a scared kitten.

"Don't panic," Buzz said.  "I've still got the ax."

Amy lit a series of matches while Buzz swung the ax at the door--six,

eight, a dozen blows.

At last he stopped, breathing hard.  "No good.  There isn't any edge on

the damned blade."  "Someone must have heard all that pounding," Liz

said.

"I doubt it," Amy said.  "Remember, the actual funhouse entrance is set

back at least fifteen feet from the ticket booth and the midway, beyond

the boarding ramp, at the end of the entrance channel.  No one passing

by is likely to hear the ax, not above all this music and that laughing

clown." aBut the barker's out there," Liz said.  "He'll hear it."  "For

Christ's sake, Liz," Buzz said, "get your head together.  The barker's

not on our side.  He's obviously part of it.  He lured us in is what he

did."  "sO some freak could kill us?" Liz asked.  "That doesn't make

sense.

That's ridiculous.  The barker doesn't even know us.  Why would he

choose a bunch of kids at random and throw them to .  . . that thing?"

"Don't you listen to the news on TV?"  Buzz asked.  "Things don't have

to make sense anymore.  The world's full of crazies."  aBut why would

he do it?" Liz demanded.

"Maybe just for kicks," Amy said.

aWe'll scream," Liz said.  aWe'll scream our fuckin' heads off."

"Yeah," Buzz said.

"No," Amy said.  "That's useless, too.  The music is louder than usual,

and so's the clown's laugh.  Nobody's going to hear us--or if someone

does, he'll think we're just having fun in here.  People are supposed

to scream in a funhouse." "So what are we going to do?" Liz asked.  "We

can't just wait here for that thing to come back.  We've got to do

something, damn it!"  aWe'll go around to some of these mechanical

monsters and see if we can find anything else like the ax, stuff we can

use to defend ourselves," Buzz said.

"The ax isn't even sharp," Liz said petulantly.  "What the hell good is

it?" "It's sharp enough to hold that thing off," Buzz said, hefting the

ax in both hands.  "Maybe it's too dull to cut wood, but it'll sure do

some damage to that bastard's face."  "The only way you're going to

hold off that freak is with a shotgun," Liz said shakily.

As the flame neared Amy's fingers, she dropped the match she was

holding.  It was burnt out by the time it reached the floor.  For a

couple of seconds they stood in a darkness like no other that Amy had

ever experienced.

The darkness did not merely seem to contain a threat, it was the

threat.  It seemed to be a living, evil, purposeful darkness that

pressed close around her, seeking, touching with its cool, black

hands.

Liz whimpered softly.

Amy struck another match, and in the welcome burst of light, she said,

"Buzz is right.  We've got to arm ourselves.  But that won't be

enough.

Even a shotgun might not be enough.  That freak could drop out of the

ceiling or pop up from the floor so fast that you wouldn't have time to

pull the trigger anyway.  What we've got to do is find another way

out."

"There isn't a way out," Liz said.  "The exit door will be just like

this one.

You won't be able to open it or chop it down.  We're trapped." "There's

probably an emergency exit," Amy said.

"That's right!n Buzz said.  "There has to be an emergency door

somewhere.  And maybe a service entrance, too." aWe'll arm ourselves as

best we can," Amy said, "and then we'll go looking for a way out." "You

want to go deeper into this place?" Liz asked incredulously.

"Are you out of your fuckin' minds?  It'll get us if we go in there." I

"It's just as likely to get us if we stand here by the doors," Amy

said.

"Right," Buzz said.  "Let's get moving." "No, no, no!" Liz said,

shaking her head violently.

The flame flickered.

Darkness.

Amy struck another match.

The renewed light revealed Liz crouching very i = low against the

sealed doors, looking up at the ceiling, shivering like a cornered

rabbit.

Amy took the girl by the arm and pulled her to her feet.  "Listen,

kid," Amy said gently, "Buzz and I aren't going to just stand here

until that thing comes back for us.  So you have to go with us now.  If

you stay here alone, you're finished for sure.  Do you want to stay

here all by yourself in the dark?"

Liz put her hands to her eyes, wiped away the tears, droplets still

glistened in her lashes, and her face was wet.  "All right," she said

unhappily, "I'll go.  But I'm sure as hell not going to go first."

"I'll lead the way," Buzz assured her.

"I won't go last, either," Liz said.  , "I'll bring up the rear," Amy

said.  "You'll be safe in the middle, Liz.  Now let's gO.

They fell into line and took only three cautious '5.

steps before Liz stopped and said, aMy God, how did she know?" "How did

who know what?" Amy asked impatiently.

"How did that fortune-teller know something like this was going to

happen?"

They stood in baffled silence for a moment, and the match went out, and

Amy fumbled for a long time with the next one before she finally got it

burning, suddenly her hands were shaking.  Liz's unanswerable question

about the fortune-teller had sparked a strange feeling in Amy--a tingle

along her spine, not a shiver of fear, but an unnerving quiver of deja

vu.  She felt that she had been in this situation before--trapped in a

dark place with exactly this same horrible freak.  For a few seconds

that feeling was so shatteringly powerful, so overwhelming, that she

felt as if she might faint, but then it passed.

"Did Madame Zena really see into the future?" Liz asked.  "That isn't

possible, is it?  That's too damned weird.  What the hell is going on

here?" Y don't know," Amy said.  aBut we don't have time to worry about

that now.

First things first.  We've got to find that emergency exit and get out

of here." Outside, the clown laughed.

Amy, Liz, and Buzz moved deeper into the funhouse.

For a minute after Joey asked for a rain check on the guided tour,

Conrad stood behind the boy, staring at the double exit doors,

pretending to wait for the sister and her friends to come out of the

funhouse.

"What's taking them so long?"  Joey asked.

"Oh, it's the longest ride on the midway," Conrad said quickly.

He pointed to a poster that proclaimed precisely that virtue of the

funhouse.

"I saw that," Joey said.  aBut it can't be this lOng." "Twelve full

minutes." "They've been in there longer than that." Conrad looked at

his watch and frowned.

"And why haven't any other cars come out?"  Joey asked.  "Weren't there

cars ahead of them?" Conrad stepped up to the gondola channel by the

exit ramp and looked down at the tracks.  Faking surprise, he said,

"The center drive chain isn't moving." "What's that mean?" Joey asked,

stepping up beside him.

"It means the damned machinery has broken down again," Conrad said.

"It happens every once in a while.  Your sister and her friends are

stuck in there.

I'll have to go inside and see what's wrong with the equipment." He

turned away and started around the side of the funhouse.  Then he

stopped and looked back as if he had forgotten Joey for a moment.

"Come along, son.

I might need your help."

The boy hesitated.

"Come on," Conrad said.  "Let's not leave your sister sitting in the

dark."

The boy followed him to the rear of the funhouse.

Conrad opened the door that led to the room beneath the main floor of

the structure.  He went inside, felt for the light chain, pulled on

it.

Joey entered after him.  "Wow!n the boy said.  "I didn't realize

there'd be so many machines!n Conrad closed and locked the door behind

them.  When he turned to Joey, he grinned and said, You lying little

shit.  Your mother's name isn't Leon"."

, Amy, Liz, and Buzz were deep in the funhouse when a string of lights

came on above the track.  They had turned several sharp bends, had

edged nervously down a couple of long, dark straightaways, and had just

started up a steep slope, past wax dummies of monsters from various

science fiction movies.

The lights didn't completely dispel the darkness.  Deep shadows lay

close by.

But any light at all was welcome, for Amy had only one match left.

"What's happening?" Liz asked anxiously.  She was frightened of any

change in their situation, even if that change meant light instead of

darkness.

"I don't know,' Amy said uneasily.

"It's turned the lights on so it can look for us more easily," Liz

said.

"That's what's happening, and you know it." "Well, if that is the

case," Amy said, "we'll be a lot harder to find if we keep moving."

aRight," Buzz said.  "Let's don't just stand here.  Let's find a way

out."

"There isn't one," Liz said.  But she moved uphill with them.

When they reached the top of the rise, they found a large display

featuring six man-sized, tentacled, bug-eyed monsters.  The aliens were

disembarking from a flying saucer, absurd shapes frozen in the

frost-pale backwash from the lights above the tracks.

"That saucer's pretty damned big," Buzz said.  Y'll bet we could all

three hide in it." "They'd be sure to look in there," Amy said.  aWe

can't stand still, and we can't hide.  We have to get out." Just as she

finished speaking, the drive chain in the center of the tracks started

to move.

They all jumped, startled.

In the distance an approaching gondola rattled noisily along the

rails-clatter-clunk-clatterclunk--a hard, sharp sound, audible above

the music and the recorded laughter, growing louder by the second.

"It's coming for us," Liz said.  "Oh, Jesus, Jesus, that freak is

coming to get us!"

The dull, rusty knife that Amy had taken off one of the monster models

now seemed like a laughable weapon.

Clatter-clunk -clatter-clunk .  . .

"Quick," Buzz said.  "Get off the tracks."

They clambered onto the wide ledge where the six aliens were coming out

of the flying saucer.

Clatter-clunk-clatter-clunk .  . .

"You two go over by the spaceship," Buzz said.

Make yourselves visible.  Make sure his attention is on you."

~ "What are you going to do?"  Amy asked.

Buzz grinned.  It was a strained, frightened, utterly humorless grin.

He was struggling to maintain his macho image.  He pointed to a

papier-mache boulder and said, "I'm going to stand over there by that

rock.  When the car comes up the hill .  . . when the bastard in it

sees - the two of you, I'm going to chop him before he has a chance to

jump out onto the tracks."  "It might work," Amy said.

Sure," Buzz said.  "I'll split him wide open."

Clatter-clunk-clatter-clunk .  . .

The gondola turned the nearest corner and ~ started up the slope toward

them.

Liz tried to run and hide.

Amy grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her over to the flying saucer,

where the occupant of the gondola would spot them just as he reached

the crest of the hill.

Buzz positioned himself beside the rock, completely visible to Liz and

Amy, but hidden from the oncoming car.  He held the ax in both hands.

: Clatter-clunk .  . . clatter-clunk .  . . clatter .  . . clunk .  .

.

The car was slowing down as the grade of the tracks increased.

Buzz lifted the ax over his head.

Amy saw the front of the gaily painted car move into sight.

"Jesus, let me go, let me go, Amy," Liz said.

Amy held her wrist even more firmly.

The first seat of the car was visible now.  It appeared to be empty.

Clatter .  . . clunk .  . . clatter .  . .

Very slowly now.

Hardly moving now.

Finally the rear seat came into view.

Amy squinted.  If the lights had been just a fraction dimmer than they

were, she wouldn't have been able to see the thing in the backseat of

the gondola.

But she did see it.  Just a lump.  A formless shadow.  It was crouched

on the floor of the car, trying to deceive them.

Buzz saw it, too.  With a karate-like yell of fury, he stepped out from

behind the boulder and swung the ax down, below the level of his feet,

into the gondola.  It connected with such force at the extreme end of

its arc that it was jerked out of his hands.

The thing in the car didn't move, and the car itself ground to a

complete stop.

"I got him!"  Buzz shouted.

Liz and Amy rushed to him.

Buzz got down on his knees, reached into the gondola channel, into the

car, and seized the ax handle again.  He pulled up, and the thing into

which the dull blade had sunk was lifted up with it.

A head.

Not the freak's head.

The freak hadn't been on that rear seat.

The dull blade of the ax was embedded deeply in Richie's skull.

Brains oozed from the fissures I in the bone and slid down his bloody

face.

Liz screamed.

Buzz dropped the ax and turned away from the gondola.  He vomited on

the papier-mfiche boulder.

Amy was so stunned that she let go of Liz's hand.

Liz was screaming at Buzz now.  "You stupid son of a bitch!  You killed

him!  You killed Richie!n Both Liz and Amy had armed themselves with

dull, rusty knives that they had taken from the funhouse displays, and

now Liz raised her knife as if she might attack Buzz with it.  "You

stupid asshole!  You killed Richie!n "No," Amy said.  "No, Liz.  Baby,

listen.  Buzz didn't kill him.

Listen, Richie was already dead.  It was just his corpse in that car."

Sobbing with terror, her fear magnified by the drugs that she had taken

all evening, Liz turned and ran before Amy could grab her.  She fled

across the flying saucer display, between two tentacled aliens whose

rubbery appendages wobbled in the air after she brushed past them.  She

vanished in shadows, behind the papier-mfiche rocks.

aLiz, damn it!n Amy said.

The sound of the other girl's panicked flight faded rapidly.  She

disappeared into the bowels of the funhouse.

Amy turned to Buzz again.

He was on his knees.  He had just finished being violently sick.

The stink was terrible.  He wiped the back of his hand across his

soiled mouth.

"Are you okay?" Amy asked.

"Holy Christ, it was Richie," he said weakly.

"He was already dead," Amy said.

aBut it was Richie!n "Don't flake out on me," Amy said.

"I .  . . I won't." "You're okay?"  "I guess .  . . yeah."  "Get hold

of yourself."

"I'm all right."  aWe have to keep our cool if we're going to survive."

aBut this is crazy," Buzz said.

"It's crazy," Amy agreed.  aBut it's happening."  "Locked in a funhouse

with a .  . . a monster." ~ "It's happening, and we have to deal with

it," she said patiently.

Buzz nodded, sucked in his stomach, struggled to regain his macho

self-confidence.  "Yeah.  We'll , deal with it.  We can handle it.  I'm

not afraid of any freak."

The instant he finished speaking, a blossom of blood appeared in the

center of Buzz's forehead.

At first Amy didn't even realize it was blood.  It A' looked black,

like a spot of ink.  But then the wan light caught it at a slightly

different angle, and she could see that it was red.

Then there was a follow-up noise that echoed through the cavern an

instant after the blood appeared, it was barely louder than the clatter

that the moving gondola had made--crack!

Buzz's mouth fell open.

.

....

. .

Less than a second after that, while Amy was still unaware of what was

happening, Buzz's right eye exploded in a spray of blood and ruined

tissue and splintered bone, and the dark, empty socket looked like a

screaming mouth.

Again: crack!

Blood and pieces of flesh spattered the front of Amy's green T-shirt.

She whirled around.

The barker was standing only ten feet away.  He was pointing a small

handgun at Buzz.  It wasn't a very big gun, it looked like a toy.

Behind Amy, Buzz sighed and made an odd gurgling sound and slumped over

in his own vomit.

This can't be happening!  Amy thought.

But she knew it was.  She knew that this night had been waiting to

happen for a long, long time, it was a night written into her life

before she was born.

The barker smiled at her.

"Who are you?"  she asked.

"The new Joseph," he said.

"What?"  "I'm the father of the new God," he said.  His smile was

sharklike.

Amy held her rusted knife at her side, hoping the barker wouldn't see

it and that somehow she would get close enough to him to use the

blade.

"Say hello to your little brother," the barker said.  He was holding a

rope in one hand.  He pulled on it.  Joey staggered out of the

darkness, at the other end of the leash.

"Oh, God," Amy said.  "God, help us."

"He can't help you," the barker said.  "God is weak.  Satan is

strong.

God can't help you this time, bitch."

LIZ STUqBLED INTO someone in the shadows.  He was big.  She cried out

before she realized that it wasn't the freak.  She had walked into

another of the mechanical monsters, which were all motionless and

silent now.

LiZ was sweating, shaking, disoriented.  She kept colliding with things

in the darkness, and each time her heart nearly stopped.  She knew she

should either sit down until she was calm again--or go back to the

gondola channel, where there was some light, but she was too frightened

to do what she ought to.

She staggered forward, hands out in front of her, the knife in one

hand, gagging when she thought of Richie with the ax buried in his

head, resisting the urge to throw up, her head light from the effects

of adrenaline and dope, just trying to save herself, gasping,

whimpering, aware that all the noise she was making might be the death

of her, but unable to be silent, just trying to save herself any way

she could, hoping she would luck into an exit, counting on the fact

that she'd always been a very lucky girl, wishing (crazily) that she

had time to stop and smoke another joint, and that was when she tripped

over something and fell, hard, onto the plank floor, and she reached

back to free her foot, and she discovered a metal ring in the floor, a

large ring in which she had caught the toe of her shoe, and she cursed

the pain in her twisted ankle, but then she saw a thread of light

coming up through the floor, light from a room below, and she realized

that the ring was a handle on a trapdoor.

A way out.

Laughing excitedly, Liz scrambled off the trap, on which she had been

sprawled.  She knelt in front of the door and took hold of the ring.

The door was warped, it didn't want to open.  She grunted, put all her

strength into one hard tug, and finally the trap swung up.

Light filled the funhouse around her.

The huge, hideous freak was standing on the ladder directly under the

trapdoor.  He reached up, fast as a striking snake, seized a handful of

Liz's long blond hair, and dragged her, screaming, through the hole in

the floor, into the funhouse basement.

"Let my brother go," Amy said.

"Not likely," the barker said.

, , .i, , ,.t.

i.

ú, Joey's hands were tied behind his back.  Another rope was tightly

knotted around his neck, the barker held the loose end of that leash.

Joey's throat was rope-burned, and he was crying.

Amy looked into the brilliantly blue but inhuman eyes of the barker,

and for the first time in her life she knew beyond all doubt that she

wasn't the evil person her mother had always insisted she was.  This

was evil.

This man was evil.  This maniac.  And the murderous freak that had

killed Richie.  This was the quintessence of evil, and it was as

utterly different from her as she was different from .  . . Liz.

Suddenly, incredibly, in spite of the fact that both she and Joey

seemed close to death at that moment, Amy was filled with a bright,

cascading river of self-confidence, with a great and good feeling about

herself that she had never experienced before.  That river washed away

all the dark, confused, and bitter emotions with which she had been

plagued for so long.

Simultaneously, she had another flash of deja vu.  She had the uncanny

feeling that this scene had been acted out before, perhaps not in every

detail, but in essence.  And she felt, too, that she was somehow

connected to the barker far less casually than she appeared to be.  A

tremendous sense of destiny settled like a cloak upon her shoulders, a

certainty that she had been born and had lived only to come to this

place at this time.  It was an eerie feeling, but now she welcomed

it.

Move, act, be brave, a voice said within her.

Holding her rusty knife at her side, hoping that the barker hadn't seen

it, she moved toward Joey.  "Honey, are you all right?

Did he hurt you?  Don't cry.  Don't be afraid." She concentrated all of

her attention on Joey, so that the barker wouldn't think she was making

a move against him, and when she stooped down toward Joey, she abruptly

changed directions, turned, launched herself at the carny, and drove

the rusty knife through his throat.

His hateful eyes popped open.

He fired the pistol reflexively.

Amy was aware of the bullet's slipstream kissing her cheek, but she

wasn't afraid.  She felt as if she were protected.

The barker gagged and dropped the gun and put his hands to his

throat.

He went down hard, and he stayed down, dead.

Liz scuttled backwards on her hands and feet, like a beautiful spider,

along the earthen floor of the funhouse basement, until she backed up

against the softly vibrating metal casing of a large piece of

machinery.  She crouched there, her heartbeat so forceful and rapid

that it seemed capable of smashing her apart from within.

The freak watched her.  After pulling her down through the trapdoor, he

had cast her aside.  He hadn't lost interest in her.  He just wanted to

see what she would do.  He was teasing her, offering her an illusive

chance of escape, playing the cat to her mouse.

Now that she had put fifteen feet between herself and the freak, Liz

stood up.

Her legs were weak.  She had to hold onto the humming machine in order

not to collapse.

The creature stood half in shadow, half in yellow light, its green eyes

glowing.  It was so tall that it had to crouch a bit to keep from

hitting its head on the low ceiling.

Liz looked around for a way out.  There wasn't one.  The lower level of

the funhouse was a maze of machinery, if she tried to run, she wouldn't

get far before the freak would be all over her.

The thing took a step toward her.

"No," Liz said.

It took another step.

"No.  stop." It shuffled closer, until they were only six feet apart,

and then it stopped and cocked its head and stared down at her with

what appeared to be curiosity.

"Please," she said.  "Please let me go.  Please."

She had never expected to hear herself begging anyone for anything.

She prided herself on her strength and toughness.  But she was begging

for her life now, and she found it easy to grovel when so much was at

stake.

The freak began to sniff at her as a hound might sniff at a new

bitch.

His wide nostrils flared and quivered as he snorted with increasing

excitement.

"Smell good," the freak said.

Liz was startled to discover that he could speak.

"Smell woman," he said.

A spark of hope flickered in Liz.

"Pretty," the freak said.  "Want pretty."

My God, Liz thought, almost giddy now.  Is this what it comes down

to?

Sex?  Is that the way out for me?  Why not?  Hell, yes!  That's what

it's always come down to before.  That's always been my way out.

The freak shuffled closer, raised one of its huge, rodent claws.

It gently stroked her face.

She tried to conceal her revulsion.  "You .  . . you like me, don't

you?"

she asked.

"Pretty," he said, grinning, showing his crooked, sharp, yellow

teeth.

"You want me?"

"Real bad," he said.

"Maybe I could be nice to you," she said quaveringly, trying hard to

slip back into the role of the sexpot, the teaser, the fun girl, the

party image she had sanded and buffed and polished until it was smooth,

comfortable, and splinter-free.

The thing's wickedly taloned hand slid down from her face to her

breasts.

"Just don't hurt me, and maybe we can work something out," she said

shakily.

The thing licked its black lips, its tongue was pale and speckled,

utterly alien.  It hooked one claw in her T-shirt and shredded the thin

fabric.  One razorlike nail made a long, shallow cut across her right

breast.

"Wait," she said, wincing.  "Now wait a second."  Panic rose in her

again.

The freak pushed her against the purring machine.

Liz squirmed, tried to shove the creature away.  It seemed to be made

of iron.

She was powerless against it.

The thing appeared to be far more excited by the thread of blood that

decorated her bare breast than it was by her nakedness.  It tore off

her shorts.

Liz screamed.

The freak slapped her, almost rendering her unconscious with that

single blow, and then bore her down onto the floor.

A minute later, as Liz felt the creature spreading her legs and

entering her, she also felt its claws piercing her sides.  As a cold,

maroon darkness swept over her, she knew that sex was indeed the

answer, as always, but this time it was the final answer.

Amy thought she heard Liz scream.  It was a distant sound, a short,

sharp cry of terror and pain.  Then nothing but the usual funhouse

noises.

For a moment Amy continued to listen, but when she couldn't hear

anything except the eerie music and the laughing clown, she turned to

Joey again.  He was standing to the left of the barker's corpse, trying

not to look at it.  Amy had untied the boy.  Although tears were

streaming down his face, and although his lower lip was quivering, he

was trying to be brave for her.

She knew that her opinion mattered more to him than did that of anyone

else, and she saw that even now, even under these circumstances, he

was concerned that she think well of him.  He wasn't sobbing.  He

wasn't panicked.  He wasn't going to break down entirely.  He even made

an effort to be nonchalant, he spat on his ropeburned wrists and gently

smeared the saliva over the angry red marks, soothing the chafed

skin.

"Joey?" He looked up at her.

"Come on, honey.  We're going to get out of here." "Okay," he said, his

voice cracking between the syllables.  "How?

Where's the door?" "I don't know," Amy said.  aBut we'll find it." The

feeling of being watched over and protected was still with Amy, and it

buoyed her.

Joey took hold of her left hand.

Holding the barker's pistol in her right hand, Amy led the boy through

the shadowy funhouse, past mechanical monsters from Mars and wax

zombies and wooden lions and rubber sea beasts.  Eventually she saw a

shaft of light coming up from the floor, back in the darkness to the

left of the track, where the glow from the work lights didn't reach.

Hoping the light represented a way out, she led Joey behind a pile of

papier-mache boulders, where she found a trapdoor in the floor.

"Is this the way out?" Joey asked.

"Maybe," Amy said.

She got down on her knees, leaned forward, and looked into the dimly

lighted basement of the funhouse.  The place was filled with humming

motors, with rumbling machines, with giant pulley wheels

and gears, with banks of levers, with enormous drive belts and drive

chains--and with shadows.  She hesitated.  But then that reassuring,

inner voice urged her not to retreat, and she knew she was meant to

descend into the lower chamber, there was nowhere else for her to go.

She sent Joey down the ladder ahead of her, covering him with the

gun.

When he was at the bottom, she followed quickly.  Very quickly--because

suddenly she wasn't sure Joey was protected by the unseen power, as she

felt herself to be.

Perhaps Joey was vulnerable.

"This is the cellar," Joey said.

aYes," Amy said.  aBut we're not underground.  The cellar is really the

first floor, so there's almost sure to be a door to the outside." She

held his hand again, and they eased down the aisle between two rows of

machinery, turned a corner into another aisle--and saw Liz.  The girl

was on the floor, on her back, head twisted and bent unnaturally to one

side, eyes wide and sightless, stomach torn open, dressed only in

blood.

"Don't look," Amy said to Joey, trying to shield him from the awful

sight, even as her own stomach flip-flopped.

"I saw," he said miserably.  "I saw." Amy heard a deep-throated

growl.

She looked up from Joey's tear-stained face.

The hideous freak had entered the aisle behind them.  It was crouched

to avoid hitting its enormous, gnarled head on the low ceiling.  Green

fire flickered in its eyes.  Drool coated its lips and mat ted the wiry

fur around its mouth.

Amy wasn't surprised to see the thing.  In her heart she had known this

confrontation was unavoidable.  She was walking through these events as

if she had rehearsed them a thousand times.

The creature said, "Bitch.  Pretty bitch." His voice was thick.  It

came out of cracked, black lips.

As if drifting through a slow-motion dream, Amy pushed Joey behind

her.

The freak sniffed.  "Woman heat.  Smell nice." Amy didn't back away

from it.  Holding the pistol at her side and slightly behind her,

hoping the freak would not see it, she took a step toward the thing.

"Want," it said.  "Want pretty." She took another step, then a third.

The freak seemed surprised by her boldness.  He cocked his head, stared

at her intensely.

She took a fourth step.

The creature raised one hand threateningly.  The claws gleamed.

Amy took two more steps, until she was only an arm's length from the

freak.  In one smooth, swift movement she raised the gun and extended

it and fired into the thing's chest--once, twice, three times.

The freak staggered backwards, driven by the fusillade.  He crashed

into a machine, throwing several levers with his outcast arms.  The

wheels and gears began to turn all over the basement, the belts started

moving, and the drive chains .Y.

clattered from one steel drum to the next.

But the freak didn't fall down.  He was bleeding from three chest

wounds, but he was still on his feet.  He pushed away from the machine

and moved toward Amy.

Joey screamed.

Her heart pounding, Amy raised the gun, but waited.  The freak was

almost on top of her, swaying, eyes unfocused now, drooling blood.  She

could even smell its fetid breath.  The thing swung one massive hand at

her, trying to rip open her face, but it missed by inches.  Finally,

when she was absolutely sure that the bullet would not be wasted, Amy

fired another round into the creature's face.

Again, the freak was flung backwards.  This time he fell hard against

the heavy, main drive chain that operated the gondolas overhead.  The

sharp-toothed chain caught in his clothes, jerked him off his feet, and

dragged him violently down the aisle, away from Amy and Joey.  The

creature kicked and screamed but couldn't free himself.  The legs of

his trousers tore as he skimmed across the floor, and then his skin was

scoured offwith equal efficiency.  His left hand snagged for a moment

where the chain passed under and then over a steel drum, for a second

or two the mechanism jammed, but then the powerful motors pulled the

chain into motion again, the freak's hand came through the huge gear

with a couple of fingers missing.  Then the beast was being dragged

back toward Amy and Joey.  It was no longer struggling with the chain,

it hadn't the strength left to resist, it was howling in agony now,

spasming, dying.  Nevertheless, as it passed them, it reached for Amy's

ankle.  Failing that, it managed to hook its claws through one leg of

Joey's jeans.  The boy yelped and fell and started sliding after the

freak, but Amy moved quickly, she grabbed the boy and held on tight.

For a moment the chain froze again, and the freak stopped moving, and

they strained in a macabre tug-of-war, but then one of the thing's

claws snapped, and Joey's pants tore, and the chain began to clatter

again, and the freak was carried away.  It was tossed and battered like

a rag doll until it finally became pinned in the huge, main cogwheel,

where the thumb-sized teeth of the gears ground most of the way through

its neck before freezing up.

The freak was motionless, limp.

Amy threw down the pistol she had taken from the barker.

Joey was staring at her, wide-eyed, shocked.

"Don't be afraid," she said.

He ran into her arms and hugged her.

Suffused with joy in spite of the blood and horror all around her,

overflowing with the exhilarating joy of life, Amy realized that the

barker had been wrong when he'd said that God could not help her.  God

had helped hen-God or some universal force that sometimes went by the

name of God.  He was with her now.

She felt Him at her side.  But He wasn't at all like poor Mama said He

was.  He wasn't a vengeful God with a million rules and harsh

punishments.

He was simply .  . . kindness life and gentleness and love.  He was

caring.

. And then that special moment passed, the aura of His presence faded,

and Amy sighed.  She picked up Joey and carried him out of the

funhouse.

AFTERWORD IN 1980, WHEN my nOVe1S had nOt Yet begUn to appear on

bestseller lists, Jove Books asked me to write the novelization of a

screenplay by Larry Block (not the Lawrence Block who writes the

marvelous Matthew Scudder detective novels and other fine suspense

fiction, another Larry Block specializing in film writing), which was

being shot by Tobe Hooper, the young director who had made a name for

himself with a low-budget horror film, Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  I had

always thought that transforming a screenplay into a real novel would

be interesting and demanding, so I was motivated by the challenge.  To

be truthful, I was also motivated by the financial terms, which were

more generous than what I was receiving for my own novels.  When I

signed on to write The Funhouse, the inflation rate was 18% and

interest rates were well above 20%, and it seemed .

chapters, which were the scenes with which the movie was almost solely

concerned.  I didn't start to use the screenplay until I had written

four-fifths of the book.

The project was fun, however, because I'd long had a serious interest

in carnivals and had collected a lot of material about them.  As an

unhappy child in a severely dysfunctional family, living across the

street from the fairgrounds where the county fair pitched its tents

every August, I had often dreamed about running away with the carnival

to escape the poverty, fear, and violence of my daily life.  Years

after writing The Funhouse, I made far more extensive use of my

carnival knowledge in Twilight Eyes.  But writing The Funhouse was

satisfying in part because I knew that the carnival lore I was putting

into it was not only accurate but fresh to readers, for this was an

American subculture about which few novelists had ever written with any

real knowledge or accuracy.

When The Funhouse was first published by Jove--a paperback imprint

owned by the Berkley Publishing Group, which was a division of G. P.

Putnam's Sons, which was owned by MCA, the media giant that also owned

Universal Studios (life is more complex out here in the late 20th

century than in the carnivalit was supposed to hit stores

simultaneously with the film's appearance in theaters.  However, late

in the game the film was held back for additional editing, and the book

was dropped into the marketplace three months ahead of the movie.

Surprisingly, The Funhouse quickly went through eight printings and a

million copies, and appeared on the New York Times paperback bestseller

list.  It was a satisfying success for a paperback original (that is, a

book that had no hardcover history to build upon), and it sold

steadily--until the film opened.

Now, you must understand that ordinarily a film sells books.  If a book

does well before a movie is made, it will often do exceptionally well

when it has the flick to support it.  This was not the case with The

Funhouse.

Upon release of the film, the sales of the book plummeted.

A mystery?

Not really.

Let's just say that Mr. Hooper had not realized the potential of the

material to the extent that the studio, probably Mr. Block, or Hooper

himself would have hoped.  Instead of serving as an advertisement for

the book, the film acted as a curse upon it.  Months later, The

Funhouse had vanished from bookstore shelves, never to be seen again.

Well, almost never.

The book had been written under the name "Owen West" because Jove hoped

to create a brand-new name (or new brand name) in horrorsuspense and

use the extra punch of a film to really send off the author's "first"

book in a big way.  The second West book was The Mask, and although

sales were good, the success of the first book redounded to Mr. West's

benefit less than the failure of the movie detracted from his

reputation.  By the time I delivered the third of the West books, The

Pit, novels under my own name had become more successful than those

written as West, and it seemed wise to fold his identity into mine.

The Pit was retitled Darkfall-- a great relief to me, as I could easily

imagine the intense pleasure nasty-minded critics would get from merely

adding an s to the second word of the original title--and was published

under my real name.

I now tell people that West died tragically, trampled by musk oxen in

Burma while researching a novel about a giant prehistoric duck which

he'd tentatively titled Quackzilla.

Eventually The Mask was republished under my name and sold far better

than it had for poor, luckless, ox-flattened West.

And now here is The Funhouse under my name at last, thanks to the

efforts of people at MCA Publishing, Berkley Books, and the kind

cooperation of Larry Block.  It doesn't rank with Watchers or Hideaway

or a number of my best novels, but it's as good as some and maybe

better than others.  I like it.  I have books I'll never let see print

again.  Readers shouldn't have to pay for stories that a novelist wrote

while he was still learning, just to be able to see how badly he was

able to screw up before he found his way.

The Funhouse, I think, is better than that.  It's fun.  It has

something to say.

The background is authentic.  And not least of all, it's pretty damn

scary, even if I say so myself.  I hope you enjoyed it.

And a moment of silence, please, for the late Mr. West, whose remains

continue to disintegrate , in that field in Burma, where the herd of

oxen-- and the movie version of The Funhouse--drove his too-mortal

flesh deep into the oily, black mud.

the end.