Back | Next
Contents

THIRTEEN

Kawashita sat on the edge of the sleep-field, in the dark, thinking about what he had said to Nestor and what she had said back. She was a strong-willed woman but not cruel. Still, she could cause pain.

He held his hands over his eyes, though it didn't make the surroundings any darker. He tried to count his fingers.

His daughter, in the world beneath the dome, had been a strong-willed woman, whose recognition of necessity drove her to court machinations, and finally to murder. Masa had held all the evil inherent in living packed tight in her small body. She had stopped him when he tried to step out of history. Their final contest had resulted in a slaughter so disgusting the kami had abandoned him.

For three years he had lived alone—with Ko, he knew, he had been alone—surrounded by the evidence of his folly. He could not force the scene to change. Everything necessary to keep him alive still operated, but nothing more.

Perhaps his plans had failed because of his eternal youth. He could not behave like an old man, no matter how much experience and wisdom accumulated in him, for his body always reacted like the body of a young man. In his years of loneliness he'd learned how to control some of those reactions, saving his sanity; but now the constraints were off. How should he behave in a culture where sexual proscriptions appeared to be few and far between? The encounters between the woman and the United Stars officer had bothered him because he didn't have the courage—or the knowledge—to find his own companion. He still wasn't familiar with protocol and social behavior to take such a risk.

He ordered the lights to turn on again and went into the lavatory to look over the equipment. Somehow the variety soothed him. It was so alien, so fascinating. But one piece still bothered him.

"How is that used?" he asked, pointing to the cylinder with the phallus and vagina. He had long since learned the voices weren't human, so he wasn't embarrassed to ask questions.

"It's a device for solitary release, fantasy encounters, or noncontact encounters."

"How?"

"A request is placed, and if the request matches that of someone else on the circuit, you may engage in a noncontact encounter. Holograms of each participant are projected around the tube, and the full sensations of sexual contact are mimicked. If you wish a fantasy encounter, you may select from a multitude of stored sequences. Solitary release can be achieved in several ways."

He wrinkled his nose and left the lavatory. He wasn't ready to couple with ghosts again. He ordered the lights out and activated the sleep-field. Despite a lulling vibration effect, he had a difficult two hours of restlessness before he slept.

In the morning Nestor chimed on his door to wake him in time to see the USC ship launch. "It's going up in twenty minutes," she said. "Since you've never seen a spacecraft launch before, I thought you'd be interested."

"Yes, very much."

"Let's go outside. There's no danger at this distance, and you'll get the full effect that way."

The brass-colored, bullet-shaped lander rested on its extension pads, flat belly toward them, bottom ports showing the motion of several men in the control center. The Perfidisian planet was giving a bright send-off, with skies almost blue and sun almost bright enough to warm the air. All they required were skin suits and breathers, and as environmental fields would have "dulled the effect," Nestor subjected him to the slight discomfort of suit up.

The ports were opaqued, and a sharp klaxon warned of imminent takeoff. The ground vibrated underfoot, but he couldn't see a thing. He knew the landers weren't powered by chemical-fuel rockets—he'd read the manual and understood at least that much. But something, he reasoned, had to boost them up and out. He thought it would come from the bottom, so he kept his eyes trained there. The ship began to glow all around. The concrete beneath it hissed and popped as it expanded. With a sustained whine that grew louder and deeper at once, the lander rose slowly for ten or twelve meters, then more rapidly. It vanished with a scream, leaving a plugged sensation in his ears.

"What do they feel inside?" he asked when the noise had died.

"You'll see," Nestor said. "Nothing drastic, so don't worry. But you're going to experience a lot of new feelings before this week is out."

Kawashita nodded. "That is something I think about but am not sure what to think."

"Frightened?" Nestor asked.

He shook his head. "What is there to be frightened of?" he asked. "It's been a long time since anything frightened me."

 

Back | Next
Framed