TIMETIPPING

by Jack Dann

Since timetipping, everything moved differently. Nothing was for certain, anything could change (depending on your point of view), and almost anything could happen, especially to forgetful old men who often found themselves in the wrong century rather than on the wrong street.

Take Moishe Hodel, who was too old and fat to be climbing ladders; yet he insisted on climbing to the roof of his suburban house so that he could sit on the top of a stone-tuff church in Goreme six hundred years in the past. Instead of praying, he would sit and watch monks. He claimed that since time and space were meshuggeneh (what’s crazy in any other language?), he would search for a quick and Godly way to travel to synagogue. Let the goyim take the trains.

Of course, Paley Litwak, who was old enough to know something, knew from nothing when the world changed and everything went blip. His wife disappeared, and a new one returned in her place. A new Golde, one with fewer lines and dimples, one with starchy white hair and missing teeth.

Upon arrival all she said was, “This is almost right. You’re almost the same, Paley. Still, you always go to shul?”

“Shul?” Litwak asked, resolving not to jump and scream and ask God for help. With all the changing, Litwak would stand straight and wait for God. “What’s a shul?”

“You mean you don’t know from shul, and yet you wear such a yarmulke on your head?” She pulled her babushka through her fingers. “A shul. A synagogue, a temple. Do you pray?”

Litwak was not a holy man, but he could hold up his head and not be afraid to wink at God. Certainly he prayed. And in the following weeks Litwak found himself in shul more often than not—so she had an effect on him; after all, she was his wife. Where else was there to be? With God he had a one-way conversation—from Litwak’s mouth to God’s ears—but at home it was turned around. There, Litwak had no mouth, only ears. How can you talk with a woman who thinks fornicating with other men is holy?

But Litwak was a survivor; with the rest of the world turned over and doing flip-flops, he remained the same. Not once did he trip into a different time, not even an hour did he lose or gain; and the only places he went were those he could walk to. He was the exception to the rule. The rest of the world was adrift; everyone was swimming by, blipping out of the past or future and into the present here or who-knows-where.

It was a new world. Every street was filled with commerce, every night was carnival. Days were built out of strange faces, and nights went by so fast that Litwak remained in the synagogue just to smooth out time. But there was no time for Litwak, just services, and prayers, and holy smells.

Yet the world went on. Business almost as usual. There were still rabbis and chasids and grocers and cabalists; fat Hoffa, a congregant with a beard that would make a storybook Baal Shem jealous, even claimed that he knew a cabalist that had invented a new gemetria for foretelling everything concerning money.

“So who needs gemetria?” Litwak asked. “Go trip tomorrow and find out what’s doing.”

“Wrong,” said Hoffa as he draped his prayer shawl over his arm, waiting for a lull in the conversation to say the holy words before putting on the tallis. “It does no good to go there if you can’t get back. And when you come back, everything is changed, anyway. Who do you know that’s really returned? Look at you, you didn’t have gray hair and earlocks yesterday.”

“Then that wasn’t me you saw. Anyway, if everybody but me is tripping and tipping back and forth, in and out of the devil’s mouth, so to speak, then what time do you have to use this new gemetria?”

Hoffa paused and said, “So the world must go on. You think it stops because heaven shakes it …”

“You’re so sure it’s heaven?”

“… but you can go see the cabalist; you’re stuck in the present, you sit on one line. Go talk to him; he speaks a passable Yiddish, and his wife walks around with a bare behind.”

“So how do you know he’s there now?” asked Litwak. “They come and go. Perhaps a Neanderthal or a klezmer from the future will take his place.”

“So? If he isn’t there, what matter? At least you know he’s somewhere else. No? Everything goes on. Nothing gets lost. Everything fits, somehow. That’s what’s important.”

It took Litwak quite some time to learn the new logic of the times, but once learned, it became an advantage—especially when his pension checks didn’t arrive. Litwak became a fair second-story man, but he robbed only according to society’s logic and his own ethical system: one-half for the shul and the rest for Litwak.

Litwak found himself spending more time on the streets than in the synagogue, but by standing still on one line he could not help but learn. He was putting the world together, seeing where it was, would be, might be, might not be. When he became confused, he used logic.

And the days passed faster, even with praying and sleeping nights in the shul for more time. Everything whirled around him. The city was a moving kaleidoscope of colors from every period of history, all melting into different costumes as the thieves and diplomats and princes and merchants strolled down the cobbled streets of Brooklyn.

With prisms for eyes, Litwak would make his way home through the crowds of slaves and serfs and commuters. Staking out fiefdoms in Brooklyn was difficult, so the slaves momentarily ran free, only to trip somewhere else where they would be again grabbed and raped and worked until they could trip again, and again and again until old logic fell apart. King’s Highway was a bad part of town. The Boys’ Club had been turned into a slave market and gallows room.

Litwak’s tiny apartment was the familiar knot at the end of the rope. Golde had changed again, but it was, only a slight change. Golde kept changing as her different time lines met in Litwak’s kitchen, and bedroom. A few Goldes he liked, but change was gradual, and Goldes tended to run down. So for every sizzling Golde with blond-dyed hair, he suffered fifty or a thousand Goldes with missing teeth and croaking voices.

The latest Golde had somehow managed to buy a parrakeet, which turned into a bluejay, a parrot with red feathers, and an ostrich, which provided supper. Litwak had discovered that smaller animals usually timetipped at a faster rate than men and larger animals; perhaps, he thought, it was a question of metabolism. Golde killed the ostrich before something else could take its place. Using logic and compassion, Litwak blessed it to make it kosher—the rabbi was not to be found, and he was a new chasid (imagine) who didn’t know Talmud from soap opera; worse yet, he read Hebrew with a Brooklyn twang, not unheard of with such new rabbis. Better that Litwak bless his own meat; let the rabbi bless goyish food.

Another meal with another Golde, this one dark-skinned and pimply, overweight and sagging, but her eyes were the color of the ocean seen from an airplane on a sunny day. Litwak could not concentrate on food. There was a pitched battle going on two streets away, and he was worried about getting to shul.

“More soup?” Golde asked.

She had pretty hands, too, Litwak thought. “No, thank you,” he said before she disappeared.

In her place stood a squat peasant woman, hands and ragged dress still stained with rich, black soil. She didn’t scream or dash around or attack Litwak; she just wrung her hands and scratched her crotch. She spoke the same language, in the same low tones, that Litwak had listened to for several nights in shul. An Egyptian named Rhampsinitus had found his way into the synagogue, thinking it was a barbarian temple for Baiti, the clown god.

“Baiti?” she asked, her voice rising. “Baiti,” she answered, convinced.

So here it ends, thought Litwak, just beginning to recognize the rancid odor in the room as sweat.

Litwak ran out of the apartment before she turned into something more terrible. Changes, he had expected. Things change and shift— that’s logic. But not so fast. He had slowed down natural processes in the past (he thought), but now he was slipping, sinking like the rest of them. A bald Samson adrift on a raft.

Time isn’t a river, Litwak thought as he pushed his way through larger crowds, all adrift, shouting, laughing, blipping in and out, as old men were replaced by ancient monsters and fears; but dinosaurs occupied too much space, always slipped, and could enter the present world only in torn pieces—a great ornithischian wing, a stegosaurian tail with two pairs of bony spikes, or, perhaps, a four-foot-long tyrannosaurus’ head.

Time is a hole, Litwak thought. He could feel its pull.

Whenever Litwak touched a stranger—someone who had come too many miles and minutes to recognize where he was—there was a pop and a skip, and the person disappeared. Litwak had disposed of three gilded ladies, an archdeacon, a birdman, a knight with Norman casque, and several Sumerian serfs in this manner. He almost tripped over a young boy who was doggedly trying to extract a tooth from the neatly severed head of a tyrannosaurus.

The boy grabbed Litwak’s leg, racing a few steps on his knees to do so, and bit him. Screaming in pain, Litwak pulled his leg away, felt an unfamiliar pop, and found the synagogue closer than he had remembered. But this wasn’t his shul; it was a cathedral, a caricature of his beloved synagogue.

“Catch him,” shouted the boy with an accent so thick that Litwak could barely make out what he said. “He’s the thief who steals from the shul.”

“Gevalt, this is the wrong place,” Litwak said, running toward the cathedral.

A few hands reached for him, but then he was inside. There, in God’s salon, everything was, would be, and had to be the same: large clerestory windows; double aisles for Thursday processions; radiating chapels modeled after Amiens 1247; and nave, choir, and towers, all styled to fit the stringent requirements of halakic law.

Over the altar, just above the holy ark, hung a bronze plate representing the egg of Khumu, who created the substance of the world on a potter’s wheel. And standing on the plush pulpit, his square face buried in a prayer book, was Rabbi Rhampsinitus.

“Holy, holy, holy,” he intoned. Twenty-five old men sang and wailed and prayed on cue. They all had beards and earlocks and wore conical caps and prayer garments.

“That’s him,” shouted the boy.

Litwak ran to the pulpit and kissed the holy book.

“Thief, robber, purloiner, depredator.”

“Enough,” Rhampsinitus said. “The service is concluded. God has not winked his eye. Make it good,” he told the boy.

“Well, look who it is.”

Rhampsinitus recognized Litwak at once. “So it is the thief. Stealer from God’s coffers, you have been excommunicated as a second-story man.”

“But I haven’t stolen from the shul. This is not even my time or place.”

“He speaks a barbarian tongue,” said Rhampsinitus. “What’s shul?”

“This Paley Litwak is twice, or thrice, removed,” interrupted Moishe Hodel, who could timetip at will to any synagogue God chose to place around him. “He’s new. Look and listen. This Paley Litwak probably does not steal from the synagogue. Can you blame him for what someone else does?”

“Moishe Hodel?” asked Litwak. “Are you the same one I knew from Beth David on King’s Highway?”

“Who knows?” said Hodel. “I know a Beth David, but not on King’s Highway, and I know a Paley Litwak who was stuck in time and had a wife named Golde who raised hamsters.”

“That’s close, but-”

“So don’t worry. I’ll speak for you. It takes a few hours to pick up the slang, but it’s like Yinglish, only drawled out and spiced with too many Egyptisms.”

“Stop blaspheming,” said Rhampsinitus. “Philosophy and logic are very fine indeed,” he said to Hodel. “But this is a society of law, not philosophers, and law demands reparations.”

“But I have money,” said Litwak.

“There’s your logic,” said Rhampsinitus. “Money, especially such barbarian tender as yours, cannot replace the deed. Private immorality and public indecency are one and the same.”

“He’s right,” said Hodel with a slight drawl.

“Jail the tergiversator,” said the boy.

“Done,” answered Rhampsinitus. He made a holy sign and gave Litwak a quick blessing. Then the boy’s sheriffs dragged him away.

“Don’t worry, Paley,” shouted Moishe Hodel. “Things change.”

Litwak tried to escape from the sheriffs, but he could not change times. It’s only a question of will, he told himself. With God’s help, he could initiate a change and walk, or slip, into another century, a friendlier time.

But not yet. Nothing shifted; they walked a straight line to the jail, a large pyramid still showing traces of its original limestone casing.

“Here we are,” said one of the sheriffs. “This is a humble town. We don’t need ragabrash and riffraff—it’s enough we have foreigners. So timetip or slip or flit somewhere else. There’s no other way out of this depository.”

They deposited him in a narrow passageway and dropped the entrance stone behind him.

It was hard to breathe, and the damp air stank. It was completely dark. Litwak could not see his hands before his eyes.

Gottenyu, he thought, as he huddled on the cold stone floor. For a penny they plan to incarcerate me. He recited the Shma Yisroel and kept repeating it to himself, ticking off the long seconds with each syllable.

For two days he prayed; at least it seemed like two days. Perhaps it was four hours. When he was tired of praying, he cursed Moishe Hodel, wishing him hell and broken fingers. Litwak sneezed, developed a nervous cough, and his eyes became rheumy. “It’s God’s will,” he said aloud.

Almost in reply, a thin faraway voice sang, “Oh, my goddess, oh, my goddess, oh, my goddess, Clem-en-tine!”

It was a familiar folk tune, sung in an odd Spanish dialect. But Litwak could understand it, for his mother’s side of the family spoke in Ladino, the vernacular of Spanioli Jews.

So there, he thought. He felt the change. Once he had gained God’s patience, he could slip, tip, and stumble away.

Litwak followed the voice. The floor began to slope upward as he walked through torchlit corridors and courtyards and rooms. In some places, not yet hewn into living quarters, stalactite and stalagmite remained. Some of the rooms were decorated with wall paintings of clouds, lightning, the sun, and masked dancers. In one room was a frieze of a great plumed serpent; in another were life-size mountain lions carved from lava. But none of the rooms were occupied.

He soon found the mouth of the cave. The bright sunlight blinded him for an instant.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” said Castillo Moldanado in a variation of Castilian Spanish. “You’re the third. A girl arrived yesterday, but she likes to keep to herself.”

“Who are you?” asked Litwak.

“A visitor, like you.” Moldanado picked at a black mole under his eye and smoothed his dark, thinning hair.

Litwak’s eyes became accustomed to the sunlight. Before him was desert. Hills of cedar and pinon were mirages in the sunshine. In the far distance, mesa and butte overlooked red creeks and dry washes. This was a thirsty land of dust and sand and dirt and sun, broken only by a few brown fields, a ranch, or an occasional trading post and mission. But to his right and left, and hidden behind him, pueblos thrived on the faces of sheer cliffs. Cliff dwellings and cities made of smooth-hewn stone commanded valley and desert.

“It looks dead,” Moldanado said. “But all around you is life. The Indians are all over the cliffs and desert. Their home is the rock itself. Behind you is Cliff Palace, which contains one hundred and fifty rooms. And they have rock cities in Canon del Muerto and, farther south, in Walnut Canyon.”

“I see no one here but us,” Litwak said.

“They’re hiding,” said Moldanado. “They see the change and think we’re gods. They’re afraid of another black kachina, an evil spirit.”

“Ah,” Litwak said. “A dybbuk.”

“You’ll see natives soon enough. Ayoyewe will be here shortly to rekindle the torches, and for the occasion, he’ll dress in his finest furs and turkey feathers. They call this cave Keet Seel, mouth of the gods. It was given to me. And I give it to you.”

“Soon there will be more natives about, and more visitors. We’ll change the face of their rocks and force them out. With greed.”

“And logic,” said Litwak.

Moldanado was right. More visitors came every day and settled in the desert and caves and pueblos. Romans, Serbs, Egyptians, Americans, Skymen, Mormons, Baalists, and Trackers brought culture and religion and weapons. They built better buildings, farmed, bartered, stole, prayed, invented, and fought until they were finally visited by governors and diplomats. But that changed, too, when everyone else began to timetip.

Jews also came to the pueblos and caves. They came from different places and times, bringing their conventions, babel, tragedies, and hopes. Litwak hoped for a Maimonides, a Moses ben Nachman, a Luria, even a Schwartz, but there were no great sages to be found, only Jews. And Litwak was the first. He directed, instigated, ordered, soothed, and founded a minion for prayer. When they grew into a full-time congregation, built a shul and elected a rabbi, they gave Litwak the honor of sitting on the pulpit in a plush-velvet chair.

Litwak was happy. He had prayer, friends, and authority.

Nighttime was no longer dark. It was a circus of laughter and trade. Everything sparkled with electric light and prayer. The Indians joined the others, merged, blended, were wiped out. Even a few Jews disappeared. It became faddish to wear Indian clothes and feathers.

Moldanado was always about now, teaching and leading, for he knew the land and native customs. He was a natural politico; when Litwak’s shul was finished, he even attended a mairev service. It was then that he told Litwak about “Forty-nine” and Clementine.

“What about that song?” Litwak had asked.

“You know the tune.”

“But not the words.”

“Clementine was the goddess of Los Alamos,” Moldanado said. “She was the first nuclear reactor in the world to utilize fissionable material. It blew up, of course. ‘Forty-nine’ was the code name for the project that exploded the first atom bomb. But I haven’t felt right about incorporating ‘Forty-nine’ into the song.”

“I don’t think this is a proper subject to discuss in God’s house,” Litwak said. “This is a place of prayer, not bombs.”

“But this is also Los Alamos.”

“Then we must pray harder,” Litwak said.

“Have you ever heard of the atom bomb?” asked Moldanado.

“No,” said Litwak, turning the pages in his prayer book.

Moldanado found time to introduce Litwak to Baptista Founce, the second visitor to arrive in Los Alamos. She was dark and fragile and reminded Litwak of his first Golde. But she was also a shikseh who wore a gold cross around her neck. She teased, chased, and taunted Litwak until he had her behind the shul in daylight.

Thereafter, he did nothing but pray. He starved himself, beat his chest, tore his clothes, and waited on God’s patience. The shul was being rebuilt, so Litwak took to praying in the desert. When he returned to town for food and rest, he could not even find the shul. Everything was changing.

Litwak spent most of his time in the desert, praying. He prayed for a sign and tripped over a trachodon’s head that was stuck in the sand.

So it changes, he thought, as he stared at the rockscape before him. He found himself atop a ridge, looking down on an endless field of rocks, a stone tableau of waves in a gray sea. To his right was a field of cones. Each cone cast a flat black shadow. But behind him, cliffs of soft tuff rose out of the stone sea. A closer look at the rock revealed hermitages and monasteries cut into the living stone.

Litwak sighed as he watched a group of monks waiting their turn to climb a rope ladder into a monastic compound. They spoke in a strange tongue and crossed themselves before they took to the ladder.

There’ll be no shul here, he said to himself. This is my punishment. A dry goyish place. But there was no thick, rich patina of sophisticated culture here. This was a simple place, a rough, real hinterland, not yet invaded by dybbuks and kachinas.

Litwak made peace with the monks and spent his time sitting on the top of a stone-tuff church in Goreme six hundred years in the past. He prayed, and sat, and watched the monks. Slowly he regained his will, and the scenery changed.

There was a monk that looked like Rhampsinitus.

Another looked like Moldanado.

At least, Litwak thought, there could be no Baptista Founce here. With that (and by an act of unconscious will), he found himself in his shul on King’s Highway.

“Welcome back, Moishe,” said Hoffa. “You should visit this synagogue more often.”

“Moishe?” asked Litwak.

“Well, aren’t you Moishe Hodel, who timetips to synagogue?”

“I’m Paley Litwak. No one else.” Litwak looked at his hands. They were his own.

But he was in another synagogue. “Holy, holy, holy,” Rabbi Rhampsinitus intoned. Twenty-five old men sang and wailed and prayed on cue. They all had beards and earlocks and wore conical caps and prayer garments.

“So, Moishe,” said Rhampsinitus, “you still return. You really have mastered God’s chariot.”

Litwak stood still, decided, and then nodded his head and smiled. He thought of the shul he had built and found himself sitting in his plush chair. But Baptista Founce was sitting in the first row praying.

Before she could say, “Paley,” he was sitting on a stone-tuff church six hundred years in the past.

Perhaps tomorrow he’d go to shul. Today he’d sit and watch monks.

Jack Dann writes:

I was born in 1945 in Johnson City, New York. I attended the Manlius Military Academy, studied drama at Hofstra University, and received a B.A. in political science from the State University of New York at Binghamton (Harpur College). I studied law at St. John’s University in New York and did graduate work in comparative literature at SUNY, Binghamton. I dropped out of law school to become a “full-time writer” and sold short fiction to Damon Knight’s Orbit, Robert Silverbergs New Dimensions, Harlan Ellison’s Last Dangerous Visions, New Worlds, and many other anthologies. My first anthology, Wandering Stars, a collection of Jewish fantasy and science fiction, was published in 1974 by Harper & Row. Forthcoming are Faster Than Light (with co-editor George Zebrowski) from Harper & Row, Future Power (with co-editor Gardner Dozois) from Random House, and The Speculative Fiction Yearbook (with co-editor David Harris from Vintage Books). A book of poetry, Christs and Other Poems, is forthcoming this year from Bellevue Press.

I am currently working on a novel for Gold Medal Books based on my novella “Junction,” which was a Nebula Awards finalist in 1973. Another novel, Starhiker, will be published by Bobbs-Merrill. I am also editing an anthology of novellas on the theme of immortality for Harper & Row; was the managing editor of the Science Fiction Writers of America Bulletin from 1970 to 1974; and am a member of the Science Fiction Writers Speakers Bureau, the World Future Society, and the Mark Twain Society (honorary). I have taught science fiction at Cornell University and Broome Community College and also writing at BCC.

I have appeared on radio and educational television and on panels at UCLA and the Center for Integrative Studies (SUNY, Binghamton), directed by John McHale. I have at one time or another worked as a law investigator, motel clerk, soup distributor, ghost writer, rug layer, window washer, beerhall piano player, cafe barker, promo man for a recording artist, and in public relations.

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