PART THREE


No one wants this job but someone has to do it; that is the way I feel about it. No one is interested in taking the responsibility and putting up with the problems; everyone would rather be off fucking or at the Games but if it were not for us none of their little lives would be possible. This is something that I force myself to remember when things get too difficult and I feel the need to go over the edge myself. Someone has to do it and take pride in it as well because without pride where are you? We are making the whole damned system go. That’s all. That’s clear.

They brought up this greenshift before us; Scopolamine, Scop for short, forty-five years old, third level East. Scopolamine used to be a kind of drug, truth serum I believe, this Scop took his byline seriously. He was out to tell the truth. He was out to change the course of lives as if they had never been changed before.

Greenshift is crazy. That is why they put them there, over in the Easters. There is not a cycle which passes without serious trou­ble in the sector and almost always it is a greenshifter who is causing it. Perhaps it has something to do with the hydroponics labs themselves, chloryphyll in the skin or brain or some such but I do not regard this theory highly. They are crazy because they are crazy, that is all. You do not have to look any further than that for a total understanding of the situation.

He stood before us, having been brought in on some minor checkup of one sort or the other. Even before we could give him the readout, the standard stuff about the reasons for him being there and what he could choose to do he began to address us. “I demand the use of the Convertor,” he said. “I insist upon it; it is my right.”

Convertor-use, for researchers and certain kinds of dilettantes, of course, is purely within the province of the Temporal Board. We explained this to him very reasonably but Scop was having no part of it. He said in that casewe were the Temporal Board and could act upon the request on our own choosing. “Every man is entitled to the Board of his own choosing,” the greenshifter said, “and this is mine. May I have the convertor or not? I warn you that if it is not granted legally I will obtain it illegally so whatever you decide here does not matter. I am going to have my way whatever you decide but I would prefer to do it amicably.” Then he said something very strange which we passed by at the time but which turned out, at least as far as I understand it, to be the key to everything that happened. “We live in times that have come about because of murder,” he said, “and this is unspeakable, we cannot live that way. We must eradicate the murder and then we will live in different and better times.” I should have known right then that he was crazy and taken measures but what could I have done? What could I have done? I was only one of many and none of us (despite his insistences) was on the temporal board.

But none of this came up at the time. Greenshifters are not taken seriously; less so in routine cases of slackness and missed cycles such as this and we continued the interview as if this was nothing out of the ordinary, as if his case was completely routine which it seemed to be, which in fact it seems to be at this moment. There was no reason to apply unusual emphasis to what he had to say, we never had any cause to consider it for a moment. I will not take any blame and I resent, I might as well say this, I do resent the necessity for masking this statement. It should not be necessary. None of what you say happened had anything to do with any of us regardless of Scop’s insane accusations or whatever other sources you may have heard of.

The matter of advising the greenshifter was passed along to me. This also was right and proper; we work in ritual order and it was my turn. If it had not been my turn I would have said nothing and would even have had trouble in remembering him. There are so many of these routine appearances and they mean nothing. As it happened it was my turn to speak. “What do you mean based on murder?” I said merely as a way of establishing his confidence, of bridging a relationship. There are numerous little devices we have as a means of keeping our attention on what we are doing. It is not as easy as many think to be on the boards. It is quite a difficult and testing position as a matter of fact and we have gained less understanding and sympathy than I think is truly our right. “I don’t understand what you are saying.” For a man of forty-five his physical appearance was impressive. This is something that I do remember about him; that enabled me to recall him instantly or at least with very little effort when you brought up the subject. Otherwise I might not have remembered him at all. I hardly keep all of this in the forefront of my mind you know. This for me is a routine job which I do without pleasure out of the sad sense that someone must do it in order to keep the cooperative order but that does not mean that I have to have any affection for it, does it? I am not, after all, a Gamesman.

“I have made myself very clear in the papers on file.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, “we do not review the preliminary papers in routine hearings such as these.” What else could I have told him? Should I have tried to give him the impression that he was more important than he was? Then I would have built his meglomania out of all proportion and I would have been judged guilty in another way. My position has got to be considered also. I think that it is fair and legitimate and will eventually be justified. “Perhaps,” I went on, “you would like to explain yourself in a little more detail.” I did not have to allow him this option. It was an unusual courtesy.

“No,” he said, “I will not explain myself; my conclusions are the same that you would come to if you thought about it for a while. I wish to use the convertor so that I may straighten out everything. I ask no help; I can do all of this myself.”

“That’s ridiculous. We cannot grant you use of the convertor. It does not fall within our purview. In any case you know that the past cannot be tampered with; you know the protectorate and the penalties.”

“Leave it to me,” he said standing there, holding his ground, quite unintimidated and I do not think that he is entitled to any credit for this, “you leave it to me to make the judgment as to protectorates and penalties.” He came up against the boards and grasped them, his fingers changing color under the pressure, the surfaces cutting into his hands in a way that must have been most painful. “Don’t you understand what is going on here?” he said, “don’t you realize that we are living not in a present but in a dream of waste, an extension of all the terrors of the past; don’t you realize that we live awash in blood?” I did not know what he was talking about. “Blood is everywhere; we are awash in it and we cannot bear this,” he said, “we must change the situation at the base; we must return and correct. Otherwise I tell you we will see the end of it in our time and that is the truth; I have seen it clearly.”

It is evident what kind of lunacy I was dealing with at this time. At least a transcription of the dialogue, as I recall it should furnish all the evidence (if evidence truly be necessary) of how unbalanced was his state and what there was to be done under the circumstances. My own handling of the situation was dignified, sensible and the only proper means of coming to terms at that time. If this is not clear then reference to the reports should make it so without the need for further discussion. I am making this statement under duress and under protest and despite the threats feel that my position is clear and that I am adequately protected under the codes.

“We are not the temporal board,” I said, “your objections have nothing to do with us at all, greenshifter. You will have to apply to them for an authorized use of the convertor for all the good that this will do because they will surely deny your request.”

“You are the temporal board,” he said, “you are appearing under disguise because you do not want the unpleasant and difficult publicity of having it known that the temporal board is meeting on simple matters in greenshift. But I know devices; I have plotted your cunning evasions and I know exactly what you are. I am not here for review as you claim but rather for the most intense observation and I want you to know that this is exactly how I feel so that there will be no doubt in your minds when I begin the adjustments that you were amply warned.”

“Let’s dispose of him,” someone said. I turned to find out who it was but the statement was not repeated and I met seven fierce, bland old faces to my right and left, none of them ready for statement. Sometimes I think that the random selection of these boards is really a poor way of managing the process; you get a lot of weak elders who are eligible only for senescence, death, removal, who pass out the useless final days of their lives in filling out the statutory requirements and now and then you meet a non-Elder who has psychopathic illusions that his functioning in board of review will somehow change his life to say nothing of those around him. I belong to neither class of course; I approach these duties as a responsibility which must be met and do so with un­usual firmness and perspicacity, fairness and insight but I have never confused what we do with possessing any significance. Greenshift is full of small failures of conduct and absence of integration but they are at the crudest and least consequential level: who really cares about greenshifters anyway? Most of their lapses can be seen in terms of personal corruption, that is all. Raking my keen and intelligent eyes from right to left through the faces surrounding me it was impossible to see who had saidlet’sdisposeofhim; no one really wishing to admit to the statement but it did not matter, of course, any one of them could have said it . . . they might have said it as a body as a matter of fact. I was the only one on the panel with intelligence and acuity and what difference, after all, does any of that make? Intelligence and acuity is not necessary here. “We have to read the complaint,” the elder next to me said. At least his voice was distinct. “It isn’t fair if we don’t spell out the particulars.”

“I know what the complaint is,” Scop said, “it is specious.”

“What is it?” I said. “You tell us then if you’re so much in control of this.”

“No,” he said sullenly, “I don’t have to if I don’t want to. And I don’t want to.”

“All right,” I said. The interview had become wearying to me no less than to the rest of them. All that one can attempt to do is to meet the superficial requirements of the statutes and then go beyond them a little bit; there are limits to what can be done, however, with the unresponsive or the insane. “We are going to terminate this with a warning.”

“Warning against what?”

“Against continuation of the pattern of conduct which has brought you here.”

He stood. “I’ll fix you,” he said. “I’ll deal with your pattern of conduct. I’ll show you a few changes around here. You cannot continue to do this to people. Sooner or later you have to face the truth; that you are the descendants of the murderers of the past. Your time is transitory. I will change everything.”

“Is that your final statement?”

“You mean you have nothing to say? You can listen to this and say nothing?”

“I don’t know what you would have us say,” I said and drew encouragement from the nods I sensed around me. Certainly I received full support from the board for the actions taken; this much is clear. If there is any responsibility it is shared. It does not devolve fully upon me. “You refuse to admit complicity, you show no sense of guilt, you do not even seem to acknowledge the reasons for your being here. All of this will become part of the report.”

“You are fools and understand nothing. You do not even realize why you are here or whose work you are doing.”

“Unless you have anything further to say I am going to terminate this interview at the present time.”

“Fools,” he said, “I’ll get the convertor and just destroy you all. Children of murder. You’ll be wiped out of the time scheme.”

He was raving. “Use of the convertor is forbidden to unauthorized personnel. You are unauthorized personnel. You will no longer make these threats.”

“Fools.”

“Suitable entries will be made on the record,” I said, “now leave.”

“Leave?”

“Exactly,” I said and gestured toward the wingapparat behind him. “Through there.”

“You really are mad. I knew it a long time ago but you keep on proving it over and over again. All of you are crazy.”

“Go,” I said to him and he turned, began to make his labored way up the ramps and into the distance, I found my interest beginning to flick away even before he had left, my mind scuttling ahead toward the next case, the next candidate for review. It is impossible to get too involved with any of these situations, otherwise feeling is totally dissipated, absolutely destroyed and one winds up completely ineffective. Certainly a greenshifter who has fallen out of cycle, who is brought before board for a mild admonition, who makes wild threats about stealing a converter and altering the past in order to make a different present . . . certainly such an individual cannot be handled in any other fashion but expeditiously. That is how he was dealt with. Expeditiously. I see no reason for complaint about our behavior.

We went on to Case S103 and then Y1014; we went through Z12 and even the clamorous and difficult B1411 that day and in all of those situations as this our decisions were fair and quick, correct and biting and I do not know why this one has been se­lected as a special instance; I cannot understand the course of your inquiry. What was done was done and would happen again, unless of course it would not happen again and this is the thrust of your inquiry by which I mean that a mistake has been made but if a mistake has been made I have not made it. I am perfectly innocent in anything to do with this affair and would repeat my actions again and have done absolutely nothing to incur any of your blame and am not guilty at all and did not take his threats to get the convertor seriously how could anyone believe that he would get a convertor? Everyone might have gotten hold of a convertor and the case was of the Temporal Authority and would not be released under any circumstances to a greenshifter with problems like his why it is absolutely impossible to think that he might have gotten hold of a convertor and the case was handled perfectly, why he was not even admonished and I resent having to fill this out and I have nothing more to say I did everything perfectly properly in every detail and am not to blame and any one of you would have done the same thing if you were me and if there is anyone to blame the rest of the board should be questioned since I was obviously the only one among them with intelligence and alertness and am extremely resentful and will refuse to cooperate any further anddidnotmakeonesinglemis­takethroughallofthis and all of the mistakes were those of the others and . . .